honestlywhateverahh

[honestlywhateverahh]

hey so i made a massive database of 900 (and counting) sapphic books, sortable by age, genre and rep! take a look if u feel so inclined (and maybe retweet my tweet?). there’s a submissions page if u catch any i’ve missed (or any incorrect info on them), but pls do check i’ve not just sorted it in a way you don’t expect!

[honestlywhateverahh]

Slimming clothes

Okay, look, I’m all for wearing whatever you want to wear, but let’s be real, we all hate our bodies

So, not to be that person, but I am a professional at using clothes to look thinner, so I was thinking I’d list some of my most used tricks

Sheer black stockings with an oversized sweater. The sheer stockings will still show some skin colour, but become more opaque at the “edges” of your legs, its so slimming. A very oversized sweater will make your face and hands look smaller

Oversized sweatpants and a skin tight top. Again, the contrasts of oversized and slim makes you look smalles. It’s very important that the pants are high waisted. with it being oversized, if you pull it over your stomac, it literally dissapears. Your waist looks thinner. If you pull the legs to about mid-calf, your legs look super thin.

Chunky bracelets makes your wrist smaller.

Heels, of course, if only I was short enough

Skin tight black sweater makes your arms look so fucking thin its insane

A bun with some strands pulled out makes your neck look so elegant and dainty

Over-the-knee socks elongates your legs so goddamn much it’s crazy

Chokers makes your neck thinner

Not clothes, but your positure is vital. Your waist looks smaller, butt looks better, back looks slimmer, neck looks smaller

Try to avoid baggy clothes all over, as with skin tight all over, contrasts are important.

If you want to slim down your fingers, long dark nails does the trick. Personally I grow out my nails naturally. If anyone wants some tips on how to get then obnoxiously long, feel free to hit me up

Hair with volume. The best lengs are either a bob right over your shoulders (frames your face and showes off your collarbones) or very long hair, think waist and longer, but then its crucial that you have a lot of volume/curls. If your hair looks big, you look smaller. Avoid middle lengt, straight hair, which can make your shoulders look wider.

This is what works for me and other people i have talked to, I am not saying this is universal

[honestlywhateverahh]

i am going to post actual food logs with pictures from now on. quasi-recovery. or not? well

[honestlywhateverahh]

everything went a lot better today, i feel healthier and overall just a lot better

ate too much protein stuff maybe but well fuck that

as long as it can satisfy my cravings and is reeelatively low cal . . .

[honestlywhateverahh]

thinking about eating the last toffifee pack like ... well it’d be gone then and i wouldn’t be able to binge later ... but i know i shouldn’t but i didn’t eat lunch but i already had too many calories today but i crave it but i’m not hungry but it’d be gone finally but ahhh

[honestlywhateverahh]

16.02.

yesterday was hell, not only eating wise

i ate super unhealthy, as in tons of chocolate cookies but almost nothing else, no regulated meals, just constant overeating on stuff i KNEW would make me feel sick

didnt get better today, i woke up to 3 kinder country bars, too many roated cashews and a whole pack of 15 toffifees

i feel very sick and tired and bad, i kinda just want this day to be over already so i can start fresh tomorrow ... i feel like all this has been triggered by the stress we've all been through and also by not allowing myself to have all that for ages, it feels super bad now though and i know that it's super unhealthy, too, making me not only feel sick but also less energized and overall shitty

im just not gonna have lunch today & if possible ill eat some nice veggies later ... im almost at 2000 or slightly over already and it all just sucks so much, not eating anything until 6pm on friday combined with all this stress probably wasnt exactly intelligent regarding my binge restrict cycles

overeating is just NOT recovering as well and thats a fucking fact

im gonna start nourishing my body helthily again

another reason why its been so bad is that i ran out of water and since friday ive constantly been dehydrated ... i HAVE to buy some tomorrow because it also leads to overeating and feeling worse

+ HOLY FUCK im so afraid of fucking GAINING because i didnt work out at all and i feel like i can already see it and oh my gosh

trying to calm down and tell myself that its been like 4 days of eating poorly and that even IF i gained some fucking fat its not that bad, i can and will get back on track

need to eat more in general apparently as to get rid of these overwhelming binges ... with healthy food and exercise its gonna be okay and less harmful than bingeing constantly

[honestlywhateverahh]

15.02.

not counting today

i need some fucking energy for what's going on

[honestlywhateverahh]

14.02.

breakfast:

/

lunch:

/

snack (5:30pm):

latte macchiato with (some) sugar (170)

1 bun with ham & salad from the bakery (400?)

didnt fast because i wanted to, i was simply too busy, this whole day was just hella exhausting

after this hell of a day i allowed myself to fuck it and eat what i was offered:

1 plate of noodles with cheese

2 teaspoons of (real!) peanut butter

5 wine gums

not even that much huh? guess i burned a ton more by fucking freezing all day and also being super stressed and involved in important talks and stuff and ugh

i honestly just wanna sleep ... but i wont and if i have to ill also eat more to keep my energy levels okay

[honestlywhateverahh]

14.02.

breakfast ... at home ?? don't think so bitch, don't fucking think so. getting used to not eating breakfast at home again - like one apple or sth at school and i'm fine. i only have two more apples though and i want/need them for the weekend ...

anyway, it stresses me a lot. like ... what should i eat?? should i eat sth at all?? i think i overate yesterday because i didnt drink enough. there was no water standing around and despite everything i stuck to my "no lemonade/soda" rule ... my bad. ugh, it's 9:30 and ya girl craves pudding. nope, i'm gonna get dressed now and move the fuck away from here. no pudding before noon.

[honestlywhateverahh]

13.02.

breakfast:

green apple (80)

whole grain bun (200?)

lunch:

slice of bread with cheese (200)

pomegranate (240?)

small vanilla protein pudding (110)

afternoon snack at school:

2 green apples (160)

1 tangerine (60)

2 dried apricots (40)

1090 ... it's 5pm and i just ate my snack apples ...

gotta make it through a group cooking thingy later though, i wont be able to count anything and i dont want anyone to be suspicious ... after all there wont be more than 1000kcals in one meal, right?

i ate ... way too much

not sure about the calories but i overate

felt sick afterwards

not doing it again for fucks sake

[honestlywhateverahh]

12.02.

breakfast + snack (10:30am):

3 slices of bread (380)

2 slices of cheese (140)

8 mini tomatoes (20)

540kcals, started off high and thought of everything as ruined already ... but ...

no lunch, i wasnt even hungry

snack:

1 mango (180)

well, 720, yeah ... had dinner like 2 hours later at 6pm:

1 green apple (120)

1 pear (100)

raspberry protein quark (130)

dipped the fruit slices into the quark and it was pretty good ... still kinda craving sth sweet now ugh

1070 aint too high ... thing is i dont wanna end up bingeing like yesterday and i dont know whats better, getting a protein pudding to hopefully satisfy my cravings or eating nothingg

fuck it ill get the pudding, it's not 7pm yet (and yes, this rule still applies)

choc coco protein pudding (160)

1230, happy

[honestlywhateverahh]

11.02.

i skipped breakfast because i felt guilty

went to sleep after school, still didn't eat

ate sth before i went to my fitness class though

lunch at 3:30pm:

1 slice of whole grain bread with cheese (200)

some pickled beet (120)

spinach (240)

520, it's currently 7pm, i drank almost 3 litres of water and i worked out ... dinner, what's for dinner?

we will see

i don't really have any more binge worthy food, that's good ... i mean theres some oat milk left, but imma need it the next time i make quiche, soo ... no stupud chocolate muesli for me, not until i get kitchen scales

dinner:

2 slices of whole grain bread (260)

2 slices of cheese (140)

5 mini tomatoes (20)

2 eggs fried in low cal low fat vegan butter substitute (200)

1 sliced green bell pepper (100)

some nuts and seeds (100)

1340kcals for today, 3 litres of water and a workout

well, depending on whether the binge counts for today or yesterday at least

i crave crackers and i should maybe eat some so i dont binge later ...?

tomorrow is gonna be hell

stupid, stupid me ate all the crackers, two bananas with peanut puree and a protein yoghurt

let's call it a day

[honestlywhateverahh]

i binged on chocolate and muesli last night, felt like crap, pure shit ... all because i was procrastinating and i had to stay away for hw

[honestlywhateverahh]

10.02.

breakfast (220):

1 slice of whole grain bread (130)

1 slice of cheese (70)

6 mini tomatoes (20)

after i had this for breakfast i unluckily got pretty hungry again ... okay, not REALLY hungry but i craved some nice food and then i was like okay ... imma eat sth, it's actually better if i eat a lot now and nothing before i go swimming so it's rather bearable then?? also gonna drink a lot now so i won't have to drink anything and be bloated later

morning/pre-lunch snack (240):

1 (kinda big) banana (120) dipped into:

1 blueberry protein yoghurt (120)

460, that's okay - as i said, gonna drink a lot now and substitute lunch for a pear and some passion fruits later - nothing big. oh and most importantly: after making it through the following 4 hours i won't have any time for mindless snacking and i'm gonna exercise instead ^^

pre-swimming snack:

2 passion fruits (60)

2 rice cakes (60)

post-swimming/pre-climbing:

1 slice of whole grain bread with cheese (200)

1 vanilla protein pudding (150)

1 apple (80)

1010 ... 1010?? i mean i still have to eat dinner and i'm quite hungry (and yes i'll HAVE dinner even though it's 7:45pm because i just got home and ah)

THEY MADE ME EAT CAKE BECAUSE KATI MADE IT FOR HER FAREWELL PARTY OH SHIT:

1 very small piece of cheesecake (300?)

1 small piece of rather dry chocolate cake (300?)

i don't knooow it's making me go nuts

1610 would still be okayyy though as i did lots of sport today ... and i also had sth small for dinner because a) post-workout = i need protein and b) some bites of cake can't satisfy a craving for dinner (and it had probably less than 600 cals but i dont fucking know)

dinner:

big banana (120)

small protein pudding (110)

1840 and that's definitely it for today, already put some gum into my mouth and yep.

[honestlywhateverahh]

i ate 9 crackers (100) in the middle of the night does that count for yesterday or today?? ... let's say yesterday

my muscles still hurt so much, i hope it gets a little better in the next 7 hours

[honestlywhateverahh]

09.02.

breakfast with lars:

1 white bun with cheeese (300)

NO HOT CHOCOLATE because BOOM there's TEA (0)

2 small passion fruits (60)

360 and i overestimated

brought my own whole grain bread but lars went to the bakery to get fresh buns before and i didn't wanna be rude ... it sucks because white buns don't really keep me satisfied for a long time, on the other hand it's already 12:30pm and therefore reasonable to eat lunch soon ... yeah but FIRST i need to clean my kitchen now, THEN i'm gonna prepare food, start WORKING, then i'll eat and FINISH MY STUPID WORK

at least i don't have school tomorrow fuck yeah

snack at 2pm:

crisp crackers (100)

leaving me at 460 and it's 3pm ... i actually am quite hungry though, gonna go prepare lunch now

hehehe late lunch/early dinner:

mushroom-broccoli-quiche (450)

columbian coffee protein pudding (150)

that's 600 for one meal, yeah, but i'm at 1060 now, it's 4:30pm and i just finished my meal so ...?!?

also, i have some sore muscles from all i did yesterday, some protein (eggs, protein pudding) is always good to have and seriously ... google says my bmr is somewhere around 1300kcals but fuck that bitch, 1300 leave me fucking starving which can't be healthy, i literally lost weight by eating way MORE and i guess a lot of my weight is made up my muscle mass so ... i need some fucking energy and i'm not gonna start eating 1300kcals on chill days now, that leads to bingeing, indicating that it's definitely less than i need

snack:

1 pear (100)

1 caramel protein pudding that was DOPE (150)

7 almonds (50)

1360kcals

yeah that's about to be my bmr ... well i didn't do much today and it's already 6pm, still gonna have another snack just before 7pm later though because ... i can

and because i crave sth sweet oh my god

snacks:

crisp crackers (100)

2 rice cakes ft. mango spread (100)

1 apple ft. low cal protein quark (220)

1780

it's all about snacking, isn't it? but i stopped at 7pm and i'm not gonna complain about this, 1780 kcals are fine ... and my muscles need to recover as soon as possible because they have to make it through swimming/canoeing and a few hours of climbing tomorrow, followed by one hour of fitness/strength training on tuesday, each one hour of zumba on wednesday and on thursday and finally a riding lesson on friday ... hahaha not even counting the crunches/situps/leg raises i do every day, walking to school or back home and carrying my groceries around ... hell seems like i'm not even that unfit😂

and it feels so damn goood to be back to eating healthy oh shit, i feel a lot cleaner and more energized

[honestlywhateverahh]