#and if it’s an sti that will be 1) awkward talk with ���� since she has been my only partner ever

[androidboy]

takes testosterone to take estrogen

[fairyyobrien]

Spin The Bottle Stilinski

- this wasn’t requested but oh my god it’s been on my mind for so long. Hope y’all enjoy, this is honestly my first time writing smut so bare with me please

Warnings: smut. might be cringe. takes place in season 1, oh yea buzz cut stiles ;) some fluff

Summary: Reader and Stiles are ex best friends and get dragged to a party, they end up playing spin the bottle and reader gives Stiles a little treat

“y/n pleaseeee please come to this party with me. It’s the party of year!”

“i don’t know alison.. I’m not really in a party mood tonight..”

“y/n come on look at me, look I know it’s hard getting cheated on.. it’s been over a month, and you know you deserve to have some fun. I don’t wanna pressure you I just think it’d be good for you”

you turn around and take a good look at your best friend, she was right. you deserved this, you may have got your heart broken but you weren’t gonna let some stupid jock get the best of you.

“okay let’s do this! let’s go”

alison jumps up squealing, “yay! lets go shopping!”

“you know dude alison told me y/n is going to the party” scott says taking a sip out of his cup while looking at his best friend.

stiles rolls his eyes “uhh.. cool I guess?” he says slamming the buttons on his Xbox controller.

“we all know how you feel about her”

“that’s all in the past besides me and y/n hardly ever speak anymore.. and she has a boyfriend anyways” he shrugs, eyes still glued to the tv

“um actually y/n is single now..”

“Oh..”

“if i were you i’d wear something really nice” scott implies, making stiles rethink his choices.

*hours later*

you and alison arrived at the party, you followed her to the snack table where you were greeted with Scott and Stiles, she kissed Scott’s cheek.

“hey guys”

“hey y/n you doing good?” scott asked.

“eh.. you know me, always working”

“she’s not lying I basically had to beg her to come” alison playfully rolled her eyes

“hey sti” you smiled. “h-hey y/n”

“it’s been a while since we talked I miss you” you said hugging him softly. “yeah.. me too” he sighs looking down, awkwardly shoving his hands in his pockets.

after 15 minutes everyone ended up on the floor playing spin the bottle.

the bottle was passed down to stiles’s, he stared at the bottle for a good minute until he heard the words, “Spin the bottle Stilinski what are you waiting on?” he grabbed the bottle nervously and spun. he didn’t even wanna play but scott dared him and he wasn’t turning down a dare.

his jaw dropped to the floor once it landed on you. he nervously looked in scott’s direction noticing him and alison trying to retain their giggles. he then locked eyes with you smiling at you with his usual goofy awkward smile. you smile back slightly blushing.

“come on you two what you waiting on? you guys already know your way to the closet”.

stiles slowly stands up, walking your way leaning his hand down to grab yours. you nervously smile at him and grab his hand. you two make your way to the closet and he shuts the door. you don’t notice the smirks on scott’s and alison’s face as you walk away.

“soo…” stiles awkwardly says leaning against the wall.

“stiles lets talk. what happened with us?”

“what do you mean y/n?”

“why don’t we hang out anymore.. i mean we used to be so close. i miss it. i miss you.. i miss us. our friendship”

“okay I’m just gonna say it. that’s the problem y/n. it was always just “friendship” with you.. i’ve loved you for years and i couldn’t do it anymore so i distanced myself. i’m sorry” as soon as the words slipped from his mouth, stiles looked taken back at himself, he quickly turned around facing the wall and kicked at it.

“stiles look at me” he slowly turned around looking down at the floor. “you’re an idiot” you started giggling. “that doesn’t make me feel any better”. you rolled your eyes at him “stiles, i’ve always had feelings for you”

“y-you what?” his eyes widened. “Yeah..i’ve always had and still have feelings for you”. stiles pressed you up against the wall and kissed you passionately, he was surprised at his sudden boost of confidence. this wasn’t yours and stiles first kiss, you once practiced kissing with each other in the 7th grade, that was when stiles discovered his feelings for you.

the kiss started to heat up, he kissed up your jaw making you moan slightly. “sti I wanna try something” you whisper pulling away. he raised an eyebrow “okay, what do you have in mind?” you get on your knees and unzip stiles’s pants, his eyes widened once more when he realizes. “o-oh” he blushes deeply.

you pull his briefs down and he tenses up and gives out a shaky breath. “stiles i can stop if it’s too much..”

“n-no don’t stop.. i just can’t believe this is actually happening”you smirk at him, “wow sti, you’re the perfect size” you say making his face flush with red and making him hardened.

you grip his cock in your hand and start to massage. stiles lets out a soft moan, “y/n.. please”

“does it feel good?”

“Y-yes” he pants.

“how about this?” you lick around his tip. he throws his head back “ohh oh my g-god” he puts his hand over his mouth to drown out his crys and whimpers. you continue to lick, then move on to sucking. stiles takes his other hand into your hair making a ponytail. he starts thrusting into your mouth, making you nearly choke and your eyes slightly water.

you continue bobbing your head, and begin licking up and down once again. you go back to licking around the tip, slowing down then speeding back up, you begin placing kissing around stiles’s thighs, making him shiver and squirm. you wanted to make sure to give stiles the best head he could possibly receive. you make you way back down to stiles cock, and start sucking again.

“y/n I’m so close I’m-”

“hmm” you hum and he starts thrusting faster, gripping your head harder.

“i’m bout to-” he throws his back once again with the most obvious moan, so loud that the crowd just a couple steps away could probably hear it.

you pull away with a ‘pop’ quickly swallowing. stiles takes your hand into his helping you up. he was still trying to catch his breath as you helped him pull up his pants, you teased him by rubbing his now sensitive cock. he moaned again “y-y/n” you giggled and smirked at him. “come ere” he whispered pulling you in for the most passionate kiss. “god I love you so much. t-that was amazing oh my god. wow. you have a mouth of a goddess”.

“i love you too” you giggle at his reaction.

“y-you know I was thinking I could do the same to you sometime if you’re comfortable with it of course”. Your cheeks reddened, and you felt the heat from your core as the thoughts of stiles’s mouth on your wet p*ssy lingered in your mind.

“i would love that” you say and kiss his lips softly. you both pull away and straighten yourselves up looking as innocent as you possibly can. stiles opens up the door with you following behind. you both walk up to your friends, “hey guys, that was quite a while” scott teases earning an awkward laugh from stiles and a blush from you.

“y/n you ready to go back to my house?” alison asks grabbing her keys from her bag. “Oh definitely” you say yawning.

“bye scott.. bye stiles” you wave and walk away.

“duuuude” scott nudges stiles. “what?” he covers his mouth trying to cover up the blush forming. “let’s just say we all know it wasn’t PG-13 in there” he teases. “i’m guessing you guys worked things out, yes?” stiles looks back up grinning, “oh yeah everything’s definitely worked out”

that night he lied in bed replaying the images in his mind and he couldn’t wait to do the same to you.

—

im sorry if this is sooo long. hopefully it was enjoyable. i really tried! 😭

[polyrolemodels]

Mx Nillin

1. How long have you been polyamorous or been practicing polyamory?

Personally? Less than 5 years. I’ve been non-monogamous with my nesting partner, Falon, for about 4 years now, but neither of us explicitly identified as polyamorous until we started seeing our best friend Kate about a year ago. 

2. What does your relationship dynamic look like?

Falon and I are legally married and live together in a tiny apartment with a cat and two guinea pigs. We’re in a romantic, sexual, and emotional relationship with our best friend, Kate, who lives on her own a short drive across town.

Kate doesn’t want to ever get married or live with anybody else. She really values having her own place to herself and so do we, so, it just works out for everybody really well! We all see each other multiple times a week, binge watching Netflix shows, playing nerdy tabletop games, going on date nights, checking out local events, or trying out threesome positions for ourselves and then blogging about them [http://mxnillin.com/will-it-threesome-double-dip/] LOL

Though Fal, Kate, and I are in a closed polyamorous triad together, we’re all still non-monogamous to a degree. Each of us has a friend or two we sometimes share nudes and flirt with outside of our relationship, but the three of us are all romantically committed to each other.

3. What aspect of polyamory do you excel at?

Ugh, honestly, I wouldn’t say that I “excel” at anything so much as I’m just doing the best I can to look after my own health and wellness while also striving to be the best partner I can be to Kate and Falon.

I used to be REALLY bad at the whole self-care thing and it lead to a lot of fear, anxiety, insecurities, and jealousy in my past relationships. I almost exclusively relied on those who I was intimate with to just comfort me until I felt better. In some cases, I put the entire onus of my mental and emotional health onto my past partners. Unsurprisingly, that created some incredibly fucking unhealthy behaviors as I sought out a pretty constant supply of comfort, validation, and assurance from them in order for me to feel happy and secure in those relationships.

That’s not so much an issue for me anymore, and I’m really proud of that because it has taken a lot of hard work to unlearn those toxic behaviors, develop healthier personal habits, and overall better communicate with the people who I love. I’m also much more on top of taking my anti-depressant pills, and going in to see my counsellor, when necessary.

That’s not to say I’m some stoic, chill master of my emotions or anything. Insecurities still crop up, jealousy sometimes rears its head, and on occasion a little validation is appreciated, but I think all of that is pretty natural

4. What aspect of polyamory do you struggle with?

The stigma. Holy shit, the stigma

I‘ve never loved two people at the same time, and in the same ways, before. I’ve never been committed to two partners at once before. Like, it’s no exaggeration when I say that my relationship with Falon and Kate has shattered my entire perspective of life, love, family, the institution of marriage, identity, politics, and so much more.

And all for the better, I might add!

But polyamory isn’t something you see reflected back at you by society, especially not in any sort of positive, judgement-free way. It’s not a relationship structure that’s even sorta socially, politically, governmentally, or economically accepted, let alone widely acknowledged, talked about, written about, ore seen out in public. And it sure as shit isn’t represented in a lot in literature, or art, or media of any kind… at least not in ways that don’t tend to be fetishizing or tragic. 

I mean, when’s the last time you’ve seen any sort of show about an everyday non-binary queer navigating life with their poly family? Never? Yeah, me neither.

All of this has led to us having to pretty regularly endure super shitty, awkward situations of us having to be in the closet depending on who we’re interacting with at any given time. Trying to remember who you’re out to, and who is SAFE to be out to, is exhausting and stressful for us all.

And that fucking blows. Yet it’s oftentimes necessary for all our safety.

5. How do you address and/or overcome those struggles?

I talk about it with my partners. A lot. We check in with each other pretty often and we don’t let difficult discussions go undiscussed for long. 

And I write about it too! Maybe too much at times haha.

I find that by putting myself out there, speaking up about my experiences and relationships, it has helped me empower others in their poly relationships while offering me the opportunity to learn from them as well. Especially other sex bloggers, writers, and workers.

I’ve also surrounded myself with a pretty amazing little family of queer and trans folks who have been wonderful supports in my life.

6. In terms of risk-aware/safer sex, what do you and your partners do to protect one another?

Clear, concise, honest communication has been key. Fal, Kate, and I are all aware of each other’s past partners and we’ve all tested ourselves for STI’s. Currently, we’re all fluid-bonded together, so, condom usage isn’t really there like it used to be. However, we still make sure to boil any sex toys that are shared (between uses), keep our nails trimmed, use lube as needed, and generally make sure that we’re listening to and respecting each other’s boundaries.

7. What is the worst mistake you've ever made in your polyamorous history and how did you rebound from that? 

Not sure if this is really a polyamory mistake so much as it is a boundaries issue. A couple years ago, shortly after Falon and I were married, I had JUST started blogging about how non-monogamy worked for us when we became good friends with somebody we had met through our local LGBTQ+ community. Early on in the friendship, the three of us mutually masturbated together, but we were very explicit in expressing that we were not looking for a relationship of any kind and that the three-way ‘bating was just for fun and probably not a regular thing. 

End of story, right?

Not so much. While Fal and I felt that we were very clear, and that our friend had understood, he instead doubled down. Over the months that followed, he ended up inserting himself into our relationship in a lot of invasive ways that on their own looked innocent enough, but when considered all at once were actually quite manipulative. Then one day he tries to show up at our house to talk with Falon, and when they said they weren’t feeling comfortable taking right now (he was being very pushy) he just forced the conversation anyway by professing his love to them. Oh, and me too, but only as an afterthought when Falon made it clear they were NOT interested.

Things went downhill from there really fast as we started to realize the real degree of his intrusiveness, complete with finding out he had been self-sabotaging opportunities for himself because he had this thought in his head that we’d all live up living together.

Anyway, it’s a long story overall but Fal and I learned a lot about what we were and weren’t comfortable with and set even cleared boundaries with others. That whole thing was bad enough that it almost turned us off from non-monogamy and polyamory altogether though. Luckily, we worked through it because several months after that gong show things started up with Kate, which has been amazing!

8. What self-identities are important to you? How do you feel like polyamory intersects with or affects those identities?

I am a fat, queer, non-binary, loud, foul-mouthed sex blogger with hairy tits, a girl cock, and a full-on fetish for actively subverting social roles and expectations… so of course I’m also polyamorous haha. Seriously though, over the last several years I’ve radically transformed myself as a person, to better reflect who I’ve always been but didn’t feel safe or confident being until my late twenties. I had to, because if I didn’t I was on the fast track to self-destruction [but that’s another story entirely]. 

Now, for the first time ever, I feel empowered to live my life as my authentic self and it turns out that a big part of that has included being polyamorous. Monogamy, at least in how it exists in our culture, has always felt incredibly restrictive, uncomfortable, and toxic to me personally; whereas falling in love with Falon and Kate, opening myself up to them both and forming our queer little polycule, has felt like the most natural thing in the world to me since I came out as queer and trans.

(Bonus: Do you have any groups, projects, websites, blogs, etc. that you are involved with that you would like to promote?)

You can find the vast majority of my work on my blog at www.mxnillin.com. One of the most popular features there is "Mx Nillin Fucks", a blog post series in which I stick my girl cock in a wide variety of inanimate objects, mostly foods so far,  as makeshift masturbation sleeves and write about how good or bad it is. This year is themed "Back to Basics" and has focused on classic masturbation items (banana peels, socks, DIY penetrables, melons, etc.). Outside of this you can also find me regularly participating in #SexEdPornReviews tweets for The Crash Pad Series.

---

Support Inclusive Polyamorous Representation at  https://www.patreon.com/PolyRoleModels

[curvesandconfidence-stuff-blog]

In this day and age, I am sure most of you have had that serious talk with your parents about the birds and the bees. Yes. I took it all the way back to when you were sitting at the dinner table with your parents talking about having sex. Having the sex talk can be very awkward, but it is important to know how to protect yourself while you are being sexually active.

No one wants to be that person to catch a sexually transmitted disease (STD) from their significant other or someone they are just having fun with. According to the Centers for Disease Control, almost half of the new sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) that are diagnosed each year, are majority amongst young adults between the ages of 15-24 years old. With those statistics alone, you should be asking yourself right now, “Do I need to get tested?" If you believe that your body is your temple, you should always take the precautionary measures to avoid any infections.​

Since we are college students, it is not uncommon for you to go to parties to mix and mingle with various individuals. However, you should be aware that the possibilities for catching STDs are increased because you don’t know if your partner is getting tested regularly or using condoms with their partners. According to HealthCentral.com, 1 in 4 of all college students will develop one STD by the end of their college matriculation.  One reason why those statistics are so high is because there is a lack of condom usage amongst college students. According to HealthCentral.com, only 54% of college students are using condoms for vaginal sex on a regular basis. Society has led us to believe that the male will always be prepared for any occasion to go down by having their lucky condom in their wallet. Regardless of gender, you should never rely on the other individual to do their due diligence. Ladies, if you know you are about to take it there with a guy, it is better to stay prepared then to be in Planned Parenthood trying to figure out how you acquired an STD.

According to Hampton.edu, on November 11, 2015, there was a health advisory notice that was sent out to all students about the concerning rise of STDs and STIs that are being acquired on our campus. This doesn’t include the partners that people are intimate with outside of Hampton University. This notice alone should urge students to find better ways to protect themselves from getting these diseases. Being sexually active doesn’t have to be risk-taking when you are aware of the ways to protect yourself from STDs.

There are 5 ways young adults can avoid contracting STDs by

Practicing abstinence

Mutual monogamy

Vaccination

Reducing sexual partners

Using condoms

Take control over your sex life by protecting yourself and your partner by using one of these strategies!

Sexually transmitted diseases can be very uncomfortable and embarrassing to have, that is why it is important to have that talk with your partner. Be open with your partner and ask if he or she has been tested recently and how many partners they currently have. At this stage in the game, we are adults, we should be able to have serious conversations about protecting our health. Contracting an STD is not funny and should be taken seriously when it is being discussed. Don’t be afraid sis, go and talk to your man about what is going on!

After reading this article, I would strongly advise you to talk to your partner about your sex life. Don’t fall victim to getting Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, or Syphilis because you don’t get tested regularly or you simply aren’t being a responsible adult. Ultimately, you have the power to decide who you want to be intimate with, but don’t compromise your health for a fun night.

If you are looking for more information about how to protect yourself from various STDs, visit www.cdc.gov, they have a lot of information and helpful tips about how to avoid catching these diseases.

[tinyinvadr]

Next chapter’s here!

tw: Brief reference to past abuse, not super detailed, but just wanted to include a warning anyway

Ch. 1/Ch. 2/Ch. 3/Ch. 4/Ch. 5

Petal in the Audience

Chapter 6

Dad didn’t waste any time on getting me started with borrowing. The moment midnight struck, we headed out.

Our main priorities were food and sewing material, since Mom and I have been making bags to carry our belongings to our new home. Mostly Mom, though. Once again, I’m terrible at it.

Thankfully, we didn’t need anything in Randall or Kira’s bedrooms, so there were no awkward moments. I actually enjoyed borrowing with Dad. We were never really that close, and it felt nice to have something to do together.

Mom gave me a big hug when we got back. She was absolutely terrified of the idea of going out borrowing, but it’s a necessary skill that all of us must learn in order to ensure our survival. She’s never gone out once in my entire lifetime, so I’m guessing she gave it up the moment she met Dad.

It felt good to hear my parents talk about how brave and mature I am, but I also couldn’t help but feel a little guilty that they didn’t know the real reason behind my sudden confidence boost.

Meeting my friends changed me in a way I never expected. I used to be so passive, just waiting and watching, never doing anything by myself. But because of them, I’m motivated to take risks and work towards my goal of staying with them. It took breaking the number one rule of borrowerkind for me to become independent. It feels wrong, but it also feels right.

I waited until the afternoon of the next day to sneak out, since Logan was supposed to be coming over. I didn’t always get to see him, so I tried to sneak out whenever possible when he visited.

It turns out, the three of them were all sitting on the floor waiting for me when I came out from under the bed.

“Hey, Petal! Guess what? Your plan worked! Dad noticed there weren’t mice anymore and got rid of the traps!” Kira said excitedly.

Without warning, Logan grabbed me with both hands and playfully hugged me against his chest, quickly rocking back and forth.

“That means you’re all ours, now!”

After getting over my fit of laughter, I told them that my parents were still planning on moving, but since Dad started letting me borrow with him, I’d be sure to point out the lack of traps.

“Wait, so you’re borrowing for real now? That’s so cool!” Logan turned to the other two, geeking out. “She really is just like Arrietty, right?”

“I don’t know who that is, but I’ll take your word for it!”

The four of us hung out and played a card game for a bit, but soon it was time for me to head back. We all wished I could stay longer, but this was the way it had to be.

Dad and I went on another borrowing trip that night, and when we passed by the hallway where the traps used to be, he stopped to look at the empty space and smile.

“Looks like the mice are all gone. That’s good.”

As we headed into the kitchen, Dad put a hand on my shoulder.

“Petal, your mother and I have been talking, and we think we’re going to stay here after all. The main reason we wanted to leave in the first place is because we were worried something would happen to you, but you’ve really matured in this past month. We’re just so proud of the person you’re becoming, and we’re confident that you’ll be able to take care of yourself someday. So, seeing as those traps are gone, I think it’s safe to say we aren’t going anywhere.”

It worked. The plan worked. I had to keep my excitement contained, but I wanted to celebrate so badly.

“Thanks, I’m glad to hear that you think I’m maturing.”

The rest of the trip went smoothly. That is, until we reached our last stop: Randall’s room.

Dad wanted to get a sticky note since we ran out of paper, and he liked to write lists of what we needed to borrow. There was a pack on his desk, and since there was a nearby entrance to our home in the walls under the bed, it was our best option.

I avoided looking at the bed at all costs. If Dad got any sense that I still cared about the humans, it would ruin everything.

We worked quickly, climbing up onto the desk. It took me back to when I first ventured out alone so I could get one of his dice. And on that very same day, I met Randall for the first time.

No, I couldn’t think about that. I just had to get the sticky note and go.

After peeling it off the pad, we started to climb back down. As we did, Randall started mumbling in his sleep.

“It’s okay.” Dad whispered. “He’s a sleep talker, but he’s not going to wake up.”

Apparently, Dad knew something about Randall that I didn’t. It made sense. I always went to bed around the same time he did, and it would be weird to watch him sleep, anyway. But Dad went out borrowing every night, so he had to know all of the humans’ sleep habits.

I wasn’t worried. His speech was completely incoherent, and it really didn’t seem like he was waking up.

But just as we were about to go under the bed, his voice became way too clear.

“Petal… I love you…”

My face turned bright red, and I refused to look at Dad. We both stopped in our tracks, an uncomfortable silence taking over after Randall uttered those words.

I knew Dad wasn’t going to scream at me, at least not until we got back home, but his silence was almost worse. It was like the calm before a storm, except it wasn’t calm at all, just very, very quiet.

“Petal. Home. Now.”

I didn’t dare waste a second, not wanting to make him any angrier, and I rushed into the hole in the wall.

We walked for a bit, and he remained silent until he was sure we were far enough away from the hole.

“Why would you do it, Petal?”

“He’s… He’s not dangerous, Dad. And neither are the others. He helped get rid of the mice, and he didn’t even kill them, he let them go.”

“That doesn’t matter, you don’t really know any of them. And even if you think you do, you don’t. Because humans will never pass up the opportunity to remind you who has the power. They only want to control us, they don’t see us as equal.”

“How do you know they’re all bad!? Have you ever even met one!?”

I backed off, only realizing what I said until after I said it. I’d never talked back to my Dad before.

“Sorry.” I blurted out in a last ditch effort to retract it.

He sighed. “No, I haven’t. But… your mother has…”

Right then and there, I learned the full story about Mom. I’d only ever heard the sanitized version. My Dad lived in this house all his life, and Mom came from another house in the neighborhood, and the two of them fell in love.

But before that, Mom was in a secret relationship with a human man.

He was married, but he had convinced Mom that he truly loved her, and she fell right into his trap. Over time, he gradually and subtly became more and more controlling, to the point where she was never allowed out of his sight.

She was only able to escape when his wife found out and the two had a big fight, leaving him distracted. She fled to this house, where Dad immediately took her in. That’s why she doesn’t borrow or even leave the walls, because she’s terrified of being seen and having something like that happen to her again.

“You can never be sure of their true intentions. Petal, please, you have to understand, we only want to keep you safe. Now, I want you to go to your room and finish packing. We leave tomorrow night.”

It hurt. After hearing a story like that… I wanted to believe that my friends were really my friends, but the fact that someone who Mom thought loved her ended up hurting her…

And Randall… Did he really mean that? Was it in a platonic way, or…? And did I…?

No. Not an option. I couldn’t take that risk.

But at the same time, I still cared about him. About all of them. I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye. I understood why we had to leave, but I would hate to walk out on them without warning. I hoped with all my heart they would understand. I didn’t want to tell them the details of Mom’s trauma, but I had to be open and honest about my fear.

I guess, I was just really hoping they would prove me wrong.

[likeadove]

(fic) Three Times Finn and Rose Spied on Rey and the One Time She Spied on Them (1/4)

Rating: T

“Is it just me,” Rose says, touching her fingertips together contemplatively, “or is Rey acting weird lately?” Finn/Rose Rey/Kylo Ben.

FFN  AO3

“Are you gonna finish that?”

Rose raises an eyebrow at him and makes a point to finish her dinner rations with a flourish. Finn isn’t sure what else he expected, really. But he’s lost nearly ten pounds over the past three months because of the Resistance conserving food. And he just really, really hates feeling hungry.

He glances at his empty little plate and then across the small table at Rey, whose dinner is only half finished. Much more promising. “You gonna finish yours, Rey?” She doesn’t answer, nor does she make any indication that she’d heard him. She’s staring over his shoulder out into space.

Or, glaring out into space is more accurate.

“Rey?”

Her glare darkens and her hands, which are resting on the table next to her dinner, curl into fists.

“Erm. Rey?” Finn waves a hand in front of her face. This finally catches her attention and she jumps, startled. “What?”

Finn slowly points a finger at her rations. “Are you gonna finish that?”

His best friend looks like she’s coming out of a trance. “Oh. Yeah, here.” She pushes her half-eaten dinner across the table to him and then quickly stands. She gives him and Rose a strained smile and half-hearted wave before leaving the mess hall to do…to do who knows what.

Finn and Rose watch her leave with blank, vaguely confused faces before turning to each other at the same time.

“Is it just me,” Rose says, touching her fingertips together contemplatively, “or is Rey acting weird lately?”

“Super weird,” Finn agrees. “Did you see the way she was glaring over my shoulder? You’d think the Supreme Leader himself was standing behind me.” And, just because, he glances behind himself quickly.

Rose is chewing on her full bottom lip, something Finn has noticed she does when she’s nervous. “You don’t think…” she pauses, sounding uncertain. “You’re sure she likes me? Because if she doesn’t you can be honest with me about it—”

“Rey likes you a lot, Rose.” Finn can’t help but smile down at her a little. “Everyone does.” And it’s true, of course. Rose’s anxiety over Rey’s opinion of her is completely unfounded. But Finn thinks it’s kinda cute.

Rose looks like she doesn’t quite believe him, but her jaw sets in determination. “Well, aright. But something is up.” She leans forward a little, voice dropping in genuine concern. “But she’s not eating much either, have you noticed?”

Finn looks down at Rey’s unfinished rations, feeling slightly guilty. But not guilty enough to stop himself from picking up his utensil and diving in. He nods while he chews. “Somethin’ is up.”

“Maybe we should go talk to her,” Rose suggests, gaze fixating on the door Rey had exited through. “She’ll at least be honest with you, Finn. I know you two are close.” She tucks a lock of black hair behind her ear and frowns, just a little. But he catches it. He catches just about everything that she does, nowadays.

He shovels the rest of Rey’s dinner into his mouth, chewing and swallowing quickly. Then he jerks his head toward the exit. “Let’s go.” Finn stands, and Rose follows.

**

When Rose had finally woken up on the Falcon, Finn had felt so relieved he could’ve passed out. She’d blinked slowly up at him, grimacing and moving her hand to her head.

“Slowly,” he had said, reaching out and grasping her hand. “You hit your head.” He’s in a half-seated, half-standing position, nervous energy thrumming throughout his body. “The med-droid said you’d feel a bit disoriented. And I bet you’re hungry.” He knows he would be.

“What happened? I remember saving you from…from being an idiot.” Her other hand, the one that Finn isn’t holding, gropes for the medallion around her neck. She relaxes when her fingers find it. “Nothing after that, though.”

“Well, we escaped thanks to Rey and Chewie and Luke Skywalker—”

Rose’s eyes go comically wide.

“Yeah. But before that I, uh, got you out of that speeder and brought you back to the base. You’ve been out since then.”

It’s not a lie. Not really. He’s just simply leaving out specific information.

In truth, he’s still processing it all. His stormtrooper training had never held a briefing on what to do when a girl kisses you. Or sort of professes her love.

Rose nods, accepting his answer. Her eyes flutter and she sighs, exhaling as he rubs his thumb across her knuckles.

“Thanks, by the way. Thanks for saving me,” he says quietly. Rose’s gaze focuses on him and she smiles and oh, it is sweet and kind and it makes Finn feel funny.

Stormtrooper training had definitely left him unprepared for this.

**

Finn and Rose leave the mess hall and dart to the right. There are only so many places for Rey to go in this tiny Resistance hide out, and Finn begins moving along the hallway that leads to the hanger when Rey’s voice comes from around the corner. He freezes, flinging an arm out to halt Rose, forearm brushing against her chest. His arm jerks forward and he feels heat rushing to his cheeks. He risks a quick glance at Rose’s face and finds her directly avoiding eye contact.

“—I told you that that’s out of the question—”

Rey’s voice is firm and strained, and Finn can practically picture the weary expression that’s she’s been carrying around lately. “I know. I know that you do but—” A pause. “That’s not fair. I can’t just leave—”

Finn and Rose grasp for each other’s hands at the same time, sending the other alarmed looks.

There’s a long moment of silence, and Finn begins to wonder if Rey and whoever she’s talking to have realized that they’re there when—

“I can’t.” Rey’s voice is so soft that Finn has to strain to hear it. “I can’t just yet. I can’t.” She sniffs and then, more firmly, “I’m sorry.” And then Rey’s footsteps begin to move sharply away. Finn moves to the end of the hallway in two long strides and peeks around the corner. Rey has nearly reached the doors leading to the hanger, shoulders a little slumped. And she is alone.

Finn looks down at Rose, who is of course leaning around him, and her eyes reflect his own confusion.

“Who could she have been talking to?” Rose wonders when the hanger doors shut.

Finn straightens, realization dawning on him. “This…this is Force stuff.” As soon as he says it he knows it’s true. He spends a moment replaying everything he’d heard Rey say. “Who could be trying to convince Rey to leave?” He feels his heartbeat speed up in his chest in anxiety. He’d already been separated from Rey before, and he’d hated not knowing what was happening to her. She’s the second person he’d ever had love for. The first one is Poe, who had named him and swept him along into the freedom of his new life.

Finn glances down at the third person, who is chewing her bottom lip thoughtfully.

“You don’t think it’s someone in the Resistance, do you?” Rose asks, head tilting up so she can look Finn in the eye.

He frowns. “That can communicate through the Force?”

Rose echoes his frown. “Right. You know, Finn, can I ask you something?”

He nods.

“How did Rey defeat Snoke?”

He shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders. “Don’t know. She’s never told me.” This is actually a slight sore spot for Finn. He’d asked Rey to tell him about a billion times, and each time she had refused, claiming it was too hard to relive. And now that’s not the only secret she’s been keeping from him, apparently.

“She didn’t tell you? I thought for sure she’d have told you.” There’s an awkward, but thankfully fleeting moment of silence between them.

“Do you think,” Rose begins, “that maybe, maybe she didn’t defeat Snoke? At least not by herself?” She looks ashamed of herself for even considering the concept.

“Why would she lie about that though?” But Finn can hear the doubt in his own voice.

“Rey is hiding something,” Rose concludes. And Finn…

Finn can’t help but be forced to agree.

“We can’t tell Poe about this.” Rose’s voice is firm and unwavering. And Finn…

Finn can’t help but be forced to agree. Although this time a little more begrudgingly. Poe is usually the first person he’d go to with a scenario like this, but Poe…he’d probably be Poe about it.

Besides, Finn kinda likes it when it’s just him and Rose on a mission.

They turn and make their way toward the common area, heads bent together and whispering amongst the two of them, going over who Rey could possibly be talking to through the Force—

For a brief second the sensation of Kylo Ren slicing his lightsaber across his back burns through Finn’s body, and he holds back a gasp, steps faltering a tad.

But Rose catches it. She seems to catch everything about him these days. “Are you alright?” she asks, immediately putting a hand on his shoulder and effectively stilling them both.

Finn reaches behind his back and brushes his hand where the phantom pain was and shakes his head, dazed. “Yeah, I just…”

Sometimes things like this happen: images and feelings flitting across his being that he never asks for, some of them memories, some of them he’s never even experienced. When he’d told Rey about them she had eagerly showed him passages from the sacred Jedi texts she’d nicked from Ahch-To. Apparently he’s force sensitive, which is very nice and all, but he can’t lift stuff like Rey can. And that had been a bitter disappointment indeed.

“Force stuff,” Rose concludes, giving him an empathetic smile. “Will you talk to Rey about it?”

And overwhelming feeling of no came over him. Don’t talk to Rey about Kylo Ren.

Finn blinks, having no real desire for random Forcey things coming over him without him asking—

Don’t talk to Rey about Kylo Ren. Don’t talk to Rey about Kylo Ren. Not yet. Don’t talk to Rey about Kylo Ren.

Huh.

Rose gives the hand that’s still resting on his shoulder a gentle shake. “Finn?”

He purses his lips and lays his right hand hers, intending to pull it away and keep walking but…kinda just holding onto it and standing still instead.

“Okay, now hear me out but. I have a theory.”

**

A/N: 

This is my Finn/Rose with a side of Reylo cutesy fic. Expect shenanigans, precious babies being precious, and some angst thrown in because I'm trash and can't help myself. I hope y'all enjoyed this first part! If you did drop a review and let me know? :)

[starsrshiney]

(At least) 10 “Rules” or Behaviors for each member of Team Stars

Let me tell you about mah OCs.

No, really

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MAH OCS

This is a long one. 5.3k words, and its basically a list. You’ll notice some repeats (intro/extroversion, when they graduated and what they studied, sexual orientation, languages they can speak etc) as you read along. You’ll probably notice details get less detailed the further you move from the top of the list as well. Details in [brackets] basically only apply to 1.1/1.1.1/versions of the characters that participate in dimension travel.

Stars (Ronald Sterling Shiner)

1. He’s an extrovert. He does enjoy socializing and being with people. He tends to avoid talking about his life before running away beyond general basics though. He’s more interested in talking about the present than the past.     a. He doesn’t like talking about his past in Emplien, particularly his school life. His experiences in the school archery team is a big exception to this.

2. He’s good at reading people’s facial cues and body language, to the point where his team calls him a person-reader/people-reader, or a living lie detector. Even if he doesn’t call you on it, he probably knows if you’re lying.

3. Romantic topics make him uncomfortable, due to Carmo and her co-conspirators actions during high school. He will generally excuse himself or make himself be elsewhere if the subject comes up. When forced to talk about it, he’ll generally be negative to the concept of romance, doubting it exists beyond being an idealization.

4. Sexuality in general doesn’t make him uncomfortable, though he still doesn’t usually participate in conversations about it unless he’s in a good enough mood. The subject of himself in a sexual situation, however, makes him very uncomfortable. This is due to him resisting the effects of Cross’ “History’s Strongest Lust Potion” for so long. The ‘fantasies’ that the potion had him come up with featuring his teammates became increasingly violent the longer he resisted.     a. Relatedly, he’s a Kinsey 3. He is not Full Ace from this mental trauma, though he adopts some behaviors of it. He tries not to express it, but he does acknowledge his attractions to himself.         i.  Though part of THAT is due to only recognizing attraction after being acquainted with a person.

5. He is perfectionistic, particularly regarding paperwork. The more frustrated he is with getting paperwork done, the more strongly he’ll resist help with it. This has led to multiple cases of him being physically dragged out of his office so other teammates (Anniey, Von, Chax, and Crystal) could get through the piles of papers.

6. He is particularly proud of his archery skills. He’ll take anyone mentioning how good of a shot they are as a challenge. [This doesn’t apply to dimensional travels, especially in cultures that value archery, unless the culture recognizes him first.]

7. He doesn’t like people touching his hair, particularly the crown of his head. He has a brick red spot there in his otherwise maroon hair, which was used as ‘target practice’ by other kids in elementary school times.

8. His sense of modesty is more cultural than personal, which sometimes clashes with other cultures’ senses of modesty. He doesn’t have a problem with group showers and the like or being underdressed in personal space. He does have reactions to people being underdressed in situations he wouldn’t be (See: Shikirei getting ready for the bath in their room instead of the bathroom.)

9. While he does fake it sometimes to get out of awkward situations, he genuinely can be dense. He does better with putting together pieces of information to figure out what’s going on than he is at gathering information.

10. He generally doesn’t take offense to things said about him, unless you insult his archery. He generally gets angrier when you insult his loved ones in front of him.

11. He is exceptionally loyal to his loved ones, and he unconsciously inspires that same kind of loyalty.

12. He can play a mean game of poker (what is a poker face to someone who reads body language?) and he likes watching the night sky. And while not AS religious as Anniey, he does tend to read from the Holy Madaran Book while recovering from exercise.

13. His 2-year extra education focused on business and psychology, though since he tested out of history, he was able to sneak in crystal glyphing lessons. He graduated in the year 917     a. He’s only just barely not a novice at glyphing and doesn’t experiment like Crystal and Jasmine.

14. Despite bi/trilinguism being common in Socon, Stars can’t speak any language besides Socon Common. He claims his tongue trips over itself when he tries. Sometimes he’ll claim his second fluent language is body language, though he’s learned not to say this in front of Chax.

a. That being said, he can interpret Ionese (Portuguese,) Vascolean (Italian,) and Otturi (Swedish) from growing up (family for the first two, Von’s family for the last one) even though he can’t speak them.

Anniey (Annabel Mayra Shiner)

1. She enjoys being with and talking to people. The only thing she’ll avoid discussion about is her arm or, relatedly, how she always wears long sleeves.

2. She does try to be a calming influence on people. This intent gets lost sometimes, as she does have a quicker than normal temper.

3. Anniey is the most powerful mage of the team. She does, in fact, have the elemental control you would expect of a mage, though she has more power than control. The fact that pipes burst toward people she’s angry/annoyed at is more about lack of control of her temper than it is about her powers (Lack of control would be pipes bursting randomly, but her bursts always seem to target the one who angers her.)

4. While she’s comfortable with her arm scar by herself, she still doesn’t like it being revealed to other people.  This discomfort pretty much extends from the reveal until the other person has had time to digest the situation. If they didn’t react very badly, she doesn’t mind talking about it to them.     a. She claims to be over what happened to her arm. It’s obvious she isn’t once someone else sees the arm scar though.     b. List of people who know about her arm: Her family, mansion staff that was working when it happened, high ranking mansion staff, medical staff that helped her, Von’s family, an ex-boyfriend, some fellow priestesses, female members of the team. [Chris, Ling, Qiu, Ling’s trackers.]

5. She loves to matchmake, though unless she’s asked for help, she keeps it in her head or in conversation rather than action. Friends asking for their friends counts to her.

6. She’s strictly androromantic/androsexual (Kinsey 0). She tried dating girls in high school, it didn’t work for her.

7. She is strongly religious, particularly about Nilofer’s doctrines. She keeps a copy of the Holy Nilofan book in her storage crystal. As expected of a priestess.

8. As long as her right arm (the one with the scar) is covered, she’s open to wearing most anything. She has a few outfits that she reserves specifically for making Stars implode into overprotective “NO”s.     a. Stars and Anniey are siblings. They are not above heckling each other.

9. While in the AlChemistry lab, she focuses on healing salves (for open wounds, burns, etc.,) rejuvenation potions (like 5-hour energy, but better,) scar reduction creams and the like.

10. She is not completely helpless without her powers. If she’s in an area without water, she has a light energy wand. Without any magic power, she can throw the hardest punch of the team’s mages.

11. Anniey knows basic greetings in many languages and tends to know when someone is being polite or trying to insult her, regardless of language. Aside from Common, she can speak fluent Vascolean (Italian) and Ionese (Portuguese,) and conversational Otturi (Swedish.)

12. Anniey is one of the team extroverts.

13. Since she wasn’t being pressured into being the company heir, Anniey spent her childhood flitting from one hobby to the next. She also graduated without the optional two years of extra education in the year 918.

Chax (Lechaxim Phantas Shadrix)

1. If an adjective in any manner suggests shyness, modesty, or shame, it doesn’t describe Chax. He is a very open book. The only things he won’t talk about are his first girlfriend or his family that isn’t his dad.     a. Corollary: Though he is very comfortable with his body, he isn’t an exhibitionist. He’ll push the limits of acceptable, not completely ignore them. That being said, he does sometimes feel like the “limits of acceptability” are BS.

2. It’s not his preferred mode of operation, but he is fully capable of being polite and/or formal, including dressing formally.

3. He very much enjoys getting reactions out of people. But he does not intentionally set out to make people feel genuine disgust or discomfort.

4. Spending most of his elementary school life at home sick, he is very concerned about cleanliness and sicknesses. Cleanliness and personal health are higher priorities than pleasure to him, though this part of him isn’t obvious with is attitude.     a. He doesn’t mind “messy” very much. He cares more for dirty/grimy/slimy/etc. than just dealing with displaced objects like clothes or paper.     b. He has multiple sheet/pillowcase sets, that he changes and washes daily.

5. His “track record” would make people think he’s a Kinsey 4, but he’s really a 2. While he does talk up his escapades to get reactions, he doesn’t outright lie about them.     a. Relatedly, while he does have a large number of sexual encounters and a high libido, he is not hypersexual in the medical definition.     b. He also takes every precaution he can with his encounters- verifying they’re single, subtly verifying if they have (an) STI(s) or not, having his own condoms and (30%) medical birth control when applicable.         i.  While stronger male medical birth control exists, going higher than 30% has a chance of permanently damaging sperm production. Therefore, Chax stops at 30%.

6. His feelings about romance are summed up as “It’ll happen when it happens, but I’m not going to hold myself back waiting for it.”     a. Though he absolutely refuses to be “the other man” for anyone. It happened once and he teamed up with the partner to yell at the idiot.

7. He spends more time than he should doing aerobics and gymnastic exercises.  This is how he has little to no body fat despite being one of the biggest eaters of the team.     a. It’s not to be touched on in canon, but there can be hints about him having an exercise disorder.     b. The lack of fat also means he doesn’t float well in water. He’s a strong swimmer but can’t passively float due to his muscle-to-fat ratio.

8. He is very observant. He picks up on things quickly, though he’s slow at putting facts together to get meaning.

9. He’ll deny it, but he is generous. He’ll leave gifts for people where he knows they’ll find it.

10. He has more control than power with his element. He can’t control many shadows, but what he does control can take many shapes, and shift between them seamlessly.

11. He can speak Vascolean (Italian), though he also knows some Gaelic phrases and pick up lines in many languages.

12. Chax is the type of extrovert that is extremely draining for most introverts to be around for long periods of time.

13. By the time he was finished with standard education, he had enough general/ business/ AlChemistry credits in school to be considered a year ahead. He took another year to get the standard extra two. He graduated in the year 920, putting him with non-lateborn peers.     a. In the AlChemistry lab, he specializes in making sunscreen. He gets sunburn VERY quickly without it.

Mahn (Herman Roderick Pages)

1. Despite Chax-amplified perceptions, he is generally not grumpy 24/7.  This took a small while for Stars to realize, because when they were a trio Mahn was the sole introvert with two extros.

2. Speaking of perceptions, he is not as prudish as his fights with Chax and avoidance of conversations of the subject of sex make him out to be. He has more of a romantic’s attitude towards the subject.     a. Relatedly, Demi-Kinsey 1.

3. Mahn likes to constantly challenge himself. He uses large blocks of earth for weightlifting, as the weights they have in the gym are too light for him. This is also why he keeps his hair long and wears bulky trench coats- it makes fights harder and more challenging for him. Consequently, his muscles are too large to move his body quickly. (Think powerlifter rather than bodybuilder)

4. Mahn has more power than control over earth. He makes large holes or pillars in the ground, often larger than he intended.

5. He tries to not be a metaphorical bull in a china shop.

6. He is quicker to action than he is to speak. He also tends to prefer non-vocal communication when he can help it.

7. Lechaxim aside, he is rather slow to anger. He’s also slow to show most other emotions.

8. He does want to become better in the kitchen than he is, but he blows up kitchen appliances with the same frequency that Stars blows up AlChemistry labs. This is to say; it will happen if he steps into the place.

9. He recognizes that Stars thinks a few steps ahead of most other people in the team. He generally never questions Stars’ orders, unless it seems like something he wouldn’t actually say.

10. Mahn is far more closed mouthed about his pre-Team life than Stars. However, he has mentioned that he does send some of his earnings to his family, and that he has a good relationship with them.

11. Aside from Common, he knows Ailan (Hawaiian) and Okraobin (Amharic.)

12. His overcoats have many small pockets on the inside for small ice-energy crystals. This is how he can still wear them even when the weather is summery.

13. His hobbies include powerlifting, small crafts, and reading either romance or mystery novels.

14. He graduated in the year 920 with two extra years of smithing education.

Sal (̛͢͟͡S̷̶̨̡a̵̷̢̛l̷̸̴͢͏i̴̸͢͞ǹ̷̴̵a̸̸҉ ̧͢͝͏̸?̵̡͟?̛͞͞?̴̨́̕ ͘͏͠ M̸̀͢͝͠a̧̛n̷͠d̴̡͝͠ȩ͜͝҉̸r̨͘s͟͏̕)̢̀̕͠͡

1. Sal is one of the quickest to anger members of the team, if not the quickest. However, she also shows the most improvement in her anger management. Constant chasing of Chax with knives aside.

2. She has a rather large collection of knives, with no two looking exactly the same.

3. Sal has decent power and control over her element. Her aura is effective at chilling water vapor in the air back to water, which she can freeze and control.

4. She values having things go in orderly fashion.

5. She was trained to repress most feelings, including attraction. Being with the team has helped her relearn most of them. Re: attraction, she shows a slight-but-noticeable preference for males (Kinsey 2.)

6. She doesn’t have any memory of her family before becoming part of Boirom Assassin Guild, beyond her last name. She doesn’t have any desire to find them, though she does keep her family name.

7. She refuses to give her full name out for any reason, including her full first name. As far as anyone needs to know, she is Sal.

8. Being a valued assassin for Boirom before defecting, she knows most of their techniques and set ups. She recognizes when they’re walking into even their most subtle traps.     a. Boirom’s teaching don’t cover languages, making her the person on the team who is the most genuinely lost if someone speaks in something that isn’t Common

9. She mostly chases Chax with her knives out of habit at this point. Loathe as she is to admit it, she can’t bring herself to seriously hurt anyone in the team, unless it’s to save them from being even more hurt.

10. She outright never questions Stars, beyond clarifications. Anniey has called her an enabler of his bad habits multiple times.

11. She collects glass lizards and has pick up coloring books as a hobby.

12. She’s an introvert that gets tired of socialization really quickly. Stars and Takky, oddly, don’t drain her as much as other people.

13. She was “homeschooled” by the Boirom Assassination Guild, but has a diploma officially stating she took two extra years of weapon smithing and graduated in the year 918.

Von (Vincent Diciasette Golla)

1. While talking to people does exhaust him after a while, he doesn’t use his introversion as a reason to avoid people. Rather, avoids people because he doesn’t think they’ll take him seriously with his stutter.

2. He is also legitimately shy and timid, especially around new people and quickly advancing events. His shyness and timidity are separate from his introversion.

a. Anniey is a slow-drain person for him. Stars less so, but still less draining than most other people, especially other extroverts.

3. His shyness and timidity are connected to his modesty, however. He wears a sleeveless rash guard while swimming and tends to avoid the shower rooms unless he’s sure he’ll be alone. The slime incident was mortifying for him.

4. He gets annoyed at being called a cinnamon roll. Especially when people try to guard him from things he already knows.

5. He is the mage of the team with the most control over his element and least elemental power (which, being mage level, is still impressive.) He’s also the weakest physically, as he tends to skip martial training with Briar.

6. He is a genius AlChemistrist. He has open invitations to most AlChemistry guilds in the world and does work with them via Farcall and mail. He stays with the team because he didn’t particularly like living as a lone AlChemistrist, plus it lets him field test some unique solutions.     a. Von finished school in the year 919 but did the equivalent of two extra years of AlChemistry Training as extra credit through the years.

7. He can determine elemental compositions of materials by the color of the flame they produce when lit, as well as feeling how the fire burns it. How accurate he is depends on how complex the material he’s burning is, though he does try to separate or otherwise narrow down what possible elements could be in a substance before subjecting them to the burn test.

8. He can adjust his aura to be as close to his skin as he likes. He uses this to groom his body hair by burning it. The guys of the team are used to the smell of burning hair when they enter the shower room.     a. If left unchecked, Von can get extremely fluffy with his body hair.

9. His stutter changes frequency with how uncomfortable he feels. Even at his most comfortable though, it is still there. The only exception is when he sings, as singing uses a different part of his brain compared to talking.     a. Also, he tends to sing to himself in Otturi (Swedish.)          i.  He’s fluent in Otturi (Swedish,) and conversational in Vascolean (Italian) and Ionese (Portuguese.)

10. He is primarily gynosexual, with fleeting-to-none attractions to guys (Kinsey 1.)

11. He keeps a small set of binoculars in his storage crystal, as he has a side hobby of bird watching.

Jimi (Jimi Pasticcio Ratpi)

1.  His temper snaps about as quickly as Anniey or Sal’s, but he’s probably the least dangerous easy to anger person- he doesn’t pull out his weapons like Sal or burst stuff with magic like Anniey. He tends to just yell.

a. He’s the type of extrovert that gets snappier if he hasn’t socialized enough, which leads to loops of scaring peeps away when he needs to talk, and then getting angry about it.

2. His temper also tends to make him think people are challenging him, particularly if they’re talking about swimming, cooking, or shooting/accuracy.     a. Stars and Jimi spent the first week of their acquaintance arguing over bows vs pistols and their accuracy. It’s a time they both laugh at in hindsight.

3. If he wants to cook, he’s going to cook. Only Crystal can argue with him on this, as they have roughly the same skill level in the kitchen.

4.  Despite nearly always wearing newsboy caps, Jimi is particularly fussy about taking care of his hair.     a. His hair is deceptively fluffy.

5.  He has twelve magic pistols in his vest-shadow network. #1 is kiddy slingshot strength, and the power scales up until it hits #12 (which causes critters to explode.)  They (except for maybe #1) only come out of his vest when he decides something is going to be shot. He’s not going to just keep one of them out as a “threat.”     a. He also keeps an emergency, non-magic pistol in his regular storage crystal.     b. Saying dual-gun fighting styles are a fiction-only concept will cause him to break into a rant.

6. He’s one of the “handymen” of the team when something in the HQ breaks, being both a metal element and having repair experience from Northern Boating School. If it’s a water pipe, he’s not shy about telling Anniey that she needs to Stop.

7.  When he’s not being snappy, he does have actual leadership skills. Jimi’s the first person outside the Core Five that Stars would choose as a lead if the team’s split up.

8.  Even without the tendency to snap, he’s the “tell it to you straight” person of the team. He does make an effort to be tactful about it when he’s not angry.

9. He learned Modern Taroshanese (Japanese) from school, but grew up speaking Common and Ibesh (Spanish)

10. Bi, but leans more towards guys rather than gals (Kinsey 4)

11. Jimi opted out of extra education, graduating from Northern Boat School in year 919.

Takky (Takuma Jun Wei)

1. He’s sexy and he knows it. Mostly because it’s the first thing anyone would say to him walking up. It was ego fuel for a while, but by the time he joined the miniguild it grew old.

2. He’s not expert level, but he is trained in a few sword wielding styles, particularly using large swords.

3. It’s fairly easy to inflate his ego, but he does try to keep it in check. Unlike Jimi though, it’s pretty hard to actually hurt his ego. He can laugh off a lot.

4.  He’s competitive, but friendly about it.

5.  Despite being a close-quarters fighter with a sword, he doesn’t have any scars on his skin. He’s as confused as anyone else about this.

6.  One of the team’s extroverts.

7. He loses his storage crystal quite often. It also slips out of his grip when he tries to use it. He’ll even lose it if its attached to a ring base!

8. He keeps a soccer ball and a kite in his storage crystal, alongside everything else.

9. He knows Modern Taroshanese (Japanese) and Classic Taroshanese (Chinese (Cantonese))

10. Bi and doesn’t have a preference toward either side (Kinsey 3)

11. He only took one year of extra education (smithing,) leaving his school at the same time Mahn did (year 920.)

Jasmine (Jasmine Négliger Itrie)

1.  Jasmine has a stuffed doll of herself that she hugs while sleeping.

2. All her initial plans start with the goal of glorifying herself. Once enough time passes for the ‘I need to make myself look good’ idea to shift into ‘If this doesn’t get done, I’ll look bad’ she’ll start acting with her true intelligence and cleverness levels.

a. Comedy/Parody AU Jasmine, about to ruin someone’s career after looking like a fool herself: “Let’s get dangerous!”

3. Jasmine’s two year extra education was focused on crystal glyphing and general education, graduating in 919.

a. Jasmine usually only glyphs for herself, unless she’s sure she can get something out of making a crystal for someone else.

4. Jasmine respects that she lost to Stars in her first attempt to take his miniguild/position/fame and puts doing what she’s assigned over her repeat attempts at taking over.     a. By the time the miniguild disbands to become the R.E.D. Delta Squad, Jasmine becomes unsure if she even wants the position anymore, as she’s not sure she could have made it to Emplien on her own merits. The attempts feel more like a hobby than anything else.

5. She’ll refuse outside help when it comes to taking over the leadership. It wouldn’t be hers if someone (she didn’t hire) helped her get it.

a. Conveniently, this means she’s an early warning system for threats to the team, as outsiders tend to (wrongly) see her as an exploitable weak link.

6.  She uses formal dresses as casual wear because she feels she must always present at her best. The closest thing she has to actual casual wear is her workout gear, because there’s presentation and then there’s getting yourself hurt.

7.  She does a lot of hard work behind the scenes, only showing off her new skills when she feels she can make it look natural. High heel running (and the crystals that can turn her high heels into cleats) is a prime example of this, an effort she made before becoming part of Team Stars.

8. Jasmine seems like the type of extrovert who CAN’T function without a person near her. The extrovert part is true, but she can be rather sly when left to her own devices.

9.  She is fluent in Vaolirili (French) and conversational in Classic Taroshanese (Chinese (Cantonese))

10. She’s primarily gynosexual, though she does have infrequent, fleeting but notable attraction to some men (Kinsey 5)

Aaron (Aaron Nommer Itrie)

1. He’s the only one of the three handymen of the team to not have been schooled at a Boat School.     a. He got repair (and smithing) training when Jasmine signed the two of them up for the two extra years of education, graduating in the year 919.

2.  Aaron almost never goes against what Jasmine is saying. Sometimes he even questions how he stood up to her in the middle of the ‘takeover the Team Stars Miniguild’ fight. (The answer is there’s only so much of a losing fight he’s willing to fight, both physically and verbally.)

3. He’s not sure how he went from ‘brother of the woman who tried to have us all hurt for her fame’ to ‘the Team’s gentle giant repairman,’ but it's honestly a lot easier to parse than Jasmine or Sal’s integration to the team.

4. He saves most of his money, in contrast to Jasmine’s outlandish spending.     a. A lot of things about him contrast Jasmine.

5.  While both twins start to feel anxious if separated for too long, Aaron does want to attend Sofinn’s College for Dual Elementals on his own someday.     a. Working in the R.E.D. Squad earns him more than enough to do this, but he feels conflicted about leaving his sister, his teammates, and an already lucrative job.

6. He tends to have the softest voice in the room, unless significantly fed up.

7. Is probably the most noticeably introverted teammate, save perhaps Von.

8.  When he’s sure he’s alone, he pulls out his cartography/map making projects.

9.  His language skills are equal to Jasmine’s.

10. He’s bi, with no preference (Kinsey 3)

Briar (Briar Laikas Chron)

1. Briar very strongly believes in being able to fend for yourself with only your body, as element magic can run out and weapons can break.     a. Von’s resistance to self defense training and Anniey’s refusal to learn to physically swim annoy him to no end.

2.  A good chunk of the time( maybe one or two out of five?), he doesn’t feel as strongly about his side of the ‘A or B argument’ he’s having with Jimi as he lets on. He just likes the bonding time.     a. Their rivalry is very friendly, starting from their first fight. Jimi’s (low power) pistols were almost equal to Briar’s fists.

3. While not to Chax’s-acrobatics levels, he is quite restless, often doing some martial art practice near subconsciously when not focused.

4.  While generally not quick to anger, he WILL punch a bitch if they imply that he’s out-of-shape fat.     a. His body exists on the endomorphic side of the scale and does hold on to fat easier, but he’s trained in multiple martial arts and WILL show it to you first hand.

5. Briar didn’t take the extra two years of optional schooling, graduating from Southern Boat School in the year 917. He spent the years travelling Socon and learning various martial arts on his own.

a. When coaching his teammates, he teaches them different arts and techniques depending on their already established fighting styles and musculature.

6. Alongside Jimi and Aaron, he’s one of the team handy men. He doesn’t have any metal-controlling to help him with the task, so it’s all tools and know-how from helping around Southern Boat School.

7. Is an introvert, though running Physical Training classes doesn’t seem to have any effect on his “social energy”

8. His non martial art hobbies include botany, loose leaf tea brewing, and board games.

9. He’s conversational in Ibesh (Spanish) and Ailan (Hawaiian)

10. He’s a Kinsey 6, and went through personal distress about it due to Socon’s Baby-Fever society.     a. Like Stars, he only recognizes attraction if the person he’s attracted to is at least an acquaintance.

Crystal (Crystal Semele Snow)

1. Because Crystal often plays with her clothing ruffles with her wind, people around her feel a slight breeze.

2. She absolutely adores flying but doesn’t use it as her sole mode of transportation. She usually defaults to flying instead of running away from something though.

3. While she may not be as good as Von is when comparing their crafts, Crystal is a damn good Glypher. She’s yet to make a glyphed crystal explode with a force stronger than a party favor.

a. She graduated from her high school in the year 919 (as a lateborn) with two extra years of crystal glyphing education.

4. When she has the time and space, she tries to generate lightning from her wind control (inspired by lightning storms.) After learning about Anniey’s issues, she makes sure the space is FAR away from her, or any teammate.

5. She’s not one to start a raunchy conversation, but she’ll eagerly extend it as far as it can go.

6. She keeps in regular contact with her dads and younger sibling (adopted), and occasional contact with her bio parents and older (bio) sibling.

7. Extroverted.

8.  She keeps a portfolio of family recipes in her crystal, alongside cooking and fashion magazines.

9. Her only non-Common language is Vaolirili (French)

10. She’s bi with a preference for womenfolk (Kinsey 4)

Rose (Rozi Rhonda Garotte)

1. Rose is oddly good at keeping secrets. She attributes this to ‘no one asks me for them.’

2. When left to her own devices, she can be seen folding ribbons into butterflies. This usually shocks people, since they’re used to her not being able to control her strength (She has ruined doorknobs and windows that way.)

3.  She’s not the brightest bulb in the box, but she always means well.

4.  She changed her last name to distance herself from her bio family, particularly her father. The name was chosen by an upperclassman, who mentioned it means ‘brave spear.’ Jury’s still out on how she got the middle name Rhonda though.

5. While she doesn’t talk about her past in general, she sometimes drops contextless thoughts that make people around her concerned.

6.  Spirits tend to flock to her, and she trusts them to lead her out or away from trouble. She’s usually people’s first encounter with actual spirits.

7. Rose’s school didn’t offer the two years of extra education schools in other countries did, leaving her to graduate in the year 921 (as a lateborn).

8. Rose is the introvert who experiences the least amount of social drain around extroverts.

9. Her home life had her speaking Common and Okraobin (Amharic) almost equally.

10. Like Aaron, she’s bi with no preference one way or the other.

[polystumbles]

Diary 9/2/2016: CTRL-Z

Everyone makes mistakes. It's at the core of how I approach many things in life: you have to recognize the difference between mistakes and malice. Sometimes the mistakes can't be explained, but we try -- to explain, the explain away, to understand. I made some early mistakes. Some bigger than others. I went on my first date without telling Amy. It had been discussed, the limits set, but the date itself, hidden away. I opened an OkCupid account without discussing it with her to get that date. Other missteps along the way came and, most crucially, went. 

When Amy breached our Wuzzle’s trust in being reckless, I hoped, then I knew, that it was a mistake that came and would go. When she asked for a relationship that I was not comfortable with, that such a request would go was not clear that it was a mistake and that it would pass. Mistake is a hard word. It's a stretch to use in many cases, an ex post facto attribution of an action as outside our moral or rational frameworks. But inside the moment of choice, action or inaction, there is its own morality, priority, need, and rationale. This week, Z made one such questionable judgement.  A mistake? A necessity? As with Amy, maybe both.

Tuesday after Amy, me and the kids got back, I met Z for lunch at her job. We ate in a nearby park and walked for a bit before we parted. Interestingly, I was a little surprised that Z didn't mention hanging out with Duane this past weekend. I would have thought this would have been the perfect time for them to spend some extended time together. I thought it was strange, but Z hadn't told me anything, but Tuesday’s lunch had veered into stories of how much my life had been affected by racism, and what Z did share about her weekend made it sound disappointing, and as if she had spent it unhappy.  Had Duane canceled?

For those of you that don't know, Z had let me know in August of her intent to have sex with Duane. We've been together 3.5 years and no one in the past 3 years has had held her interest long enough to make it this far. A lot has changed since then. We've fallen in love, she's become an anchor partner, and our lives have become entwined in beautiful ways. Then since about 2015, our pod, our wuzzle, our Vee, has been slowly branching out.

 I've been supportive but (reasonably?) nervous about Z and Duane. Given what happened with Amy, given my sex drive, my nerves had as much basis as most mistakes. I knew this threshold, particularly their having sex, matters to me more than it “should”. I want to know that she’ll still want me as their relationship grows -- especially if it draws down her desire on weekends when we put in a lot of our, um, work. Will this affect our balance? It certainly didn’t help that I had been emotionally dealing with my mom so much upon my return. Or some of the conversations I had had with Amy in Chicago. It certainly isn’t about Duane. An intelligent, patient, kind, Haitian, New York City native, who can hold her interest, plan dates, and put a smile on her face is a great partner in my book, not that I need to approve partners! I certainly could not have made it all summer without our making love! The guy was a saint in my book. 

In part, I know I'm emotionally re-adjusting to the open parts of us: we always have been open but it's looked much like “monogamy+1” (my term for closed 3 person relationships) and that thinking is hard to shake at times. While, I’ve had sex with others since we started dating, (I was still dating Bee for our first year, and Amy and I tried to date Triscuit, and ended up with a one night stand.) It's been a few years, so I haven't had a new partner in a similar time period as Z.  Their dating is not without benefit to me, I appreciated the thought that Duane would keep her happy all weekend I was away. I was able to  give Thing 2 an incredible birthday present -- full of family and art and adventure. And there were times this summer where Duane managed to put a smile on her face on days where I couldn’t. I was, in a word: appreciative. Then come our conversations Tuesday and Wednesday, I was just confused. But it wasn't really my business. Given Z's general desire for privacy I did not push questions about their relationship. This was a fundamental difference from my relationship with Amy: Z’s dating would be built on trust, not transparency.

 But there were things I needed to know, at least according to our Safer Sex Guidelines, at least before we were intimate again which came that Thursday morning.Then on Friday, I found out I was wrong about my assessment that Z and Duane had not had sex this past weekend. I found out during an awkward and incidental conversation. There it was. Z of seemingly impeccable judgment, had made what I considered her first real mistake of our relationship, a mistake perhaps born out of of her desire for privacy.

 Z and I are sitting talking about how she's been contemplating getting off birth control. I'm wondering how it might affect her moods would it help, would it hurt? Is it why she is tired more often? She's been on some form of hormonal birth control since she's been sexually active or she's had the non-hormonal IUD which caused its own set of problems with her body rejecting it (a rare complication more common on women who haven't had a child). I was willing to get a vasectomy if it would make her feel better about her having sex. We talked for a bit about whether or not she'd want to have kids and she said that the idea didn't repulse her the way it did year or two ago. But that if she would have kids she would most likely want to adopt. But she didn't know that she could pass adoption if she continued being polyamorous. I reassured her that I don't think that it would be an issue in New York state -- if you're willing to adopt a child who is not an infant or willing to adopt a child of color, I think NYC would not ask many questions about us. Though perhaps I was optimistic, as I was not working off of any data.

 A vasectomy would clearly cover me, but not her other partners. I joked that as long as Duane wasn't a multi-round freak like me, she'd be fine. But Duane it turns out, was bad at his condom usage, going through a few putting them on backward. Wait. What? If they put on a condom, did they have sex? She dances around it for what seems like forever, but comes around to just say yes. It was an awkward time to have this conversation, moments before we were naked and she had my hard cock in her hand. Now I was flaccid and the cuteness of the conversation had left the room like a quick deflating balloon.  

 She said she didn't know why she omitted it Tuesday. I told her she had no reason to: her kiss when we met, her comment that it felt longer than three days I had been away, (she missed me) those were the kinds of reassurances I needed. She had given me them, and I had notices. They felt so special, because they were. She didn't need to tell me then, at first meeting, she knew we weren't going to be intimate Tuesday, she needed to tell me by Wednesday night. Before the possibility of our love making presented itself. By Thursday morning we were intimate, going two rounds that morning.

 She wondered aloud, if she hadn’t emailed me. She fumbled a bit that telling me about his test results, was her disclosure. The two lay incongruous, of course. Had she really felt the latter, she wouldn’t have thought about doing the former.  No, my lovely lady was merely caught off guard. Perhaps questioning to herself the very definition of sex (ironically, as she had so dismissed about Amy previously). I did question as whether the expectation was fair -- should we instead just let each other know of the decision to fuck another? Is that more reasonable for informed consent? Would it not be better to assume so, and take any needed precautions therein? I still felt it’s not the same. The opportunity to ask and see someone’s response to questions about the safety practices mattered. Beyond the safety reassurances, there were also the emotional reassurances that came with adding a new partner to any mix. These needs were real, and I felt they were very valid.

Would it have changed anything I did that evening? Not really. Perhaps some more talking, perhaps some more support in case either of us needed it as well. We had already had a dry run on the conversation. But emotionally, it was a threshold being crossed, and like any fear, it dissipates once you cross it and find that the world is still ok. Fact is, I didn’t need her to tell me they were going to be intimate. I knew she had decided as much, perhaps before she did. I hadn’t been a good read on other people she’s dated, but the signs were still there: weaning herself off the little cute reminders of my scent. The off cycle STI screening. Eventually, the more obvious sharing of Duane’s STI status. Those were the obvious signs, but there was also that fact that she had done everything right about being supportive and communicative, until now.

Not disclosing bothered me, but the dance afterward was worse. It was a deviation from the expectations that she didn’t see or at least showed herself willing to walk back, dance around rather than admit.  Did she really not see an issue? Was it a communication mistake? It seemed unlikely. She had been so hard on Amy for putting us all at risk, for not calling recieviing cunnilingis and giving a hand job sex, for not keeping track of where and when her semen exposure had been, for not sharing immediately that there was a concern until I asked afterward. I wondered if she would look back and find more forgiveness for Amy. Yes, Amy exposed us to some risk, and Z is very risk averse. But statistically speaking, Amy’s breaches were always unlikely to introduce physical harm to us --if not because of the kinds of sex then precisely because I knew what happened before we reconnected sexually and immediately decided to use condoms until Amy passed tests. It was this kind disclosure that had kept Z and I safe. No, Amy’s biggest breach of trust was emotional.  Even if Z’s breach was much more minor in that it didn’t put anyone’s physical safety at risk, Z still had a tinge of Amy’s “did it count” and her own emotional need for privacy competing with a stated expectation for safety: physical and emotional. 

Yet, deep down, it didn’t bother me. I could see her perspective. I could see her struggle with it. I could see the incongruity and impossibility as clearly as the rationality and the action. I could do that grown up mental act of holding multiple conflicting thoughts at a time, and seeing a mistake. This was still the reality of executing poly -- no one does it perfect, no one ever will. I knew that. I knew it about me. I knew it about Amy. And, tonight more than before, I knew it about Z.

What I really wanted was for Z to have forgiveness for Amy. When people are worth the effort, you turn the page. Only then do you find out if there is more their story. Amy’s mistake had been a chapter, November Rain I called it. Tonight, I wanted only to have found it’s close. 

By midnight we were somewhat past this entire conversation, some 2.5 hours later. By about 12:30 we're making love. Deliberate, connected, deep, wet, it's eventually the kind of baseline amazing sex we typically have, tinged with the emotions of the past 3 hours. Starting with a lot of teasing, because she asks for it. I'm tempted to keep pushing her edge through the fingering, and rubbing of her labia, and changes in pressures and waves of my fingers, but soon she's too sensitive, and she asks me to actually fuck her. Eventually I do. I don't know if she cums, I know she gets close several times. I don't even know if she could, given everything that emotionally has transpired. Eventually, I do, and fall asleep within moments. But only after rubbing my cum into her skin, then wiping away our cum and sweat mixture, before curling up by her side.

This was my other explicit need: to reconnect. To know that we could still be amazing no matter what she has shared with another.

I sleep barely 3 hours before I awake, face soaking in all of our scent, still rich in the post-coital bouquet. I'm rock hard and find my way to nuzzle by her side. In minutes we're spooning into sex again. Then sleep for another couple of hours before I'm again aroused, eat her pussy, then her ass, then flip her around and fuck her -- her face down in the pillow, and my cock gliding around and into her pussy. She's a bit less turned on this round. I can't blame her. But I'm still mad with desire at our smells, licking my lips at her tastes, burying my face in her neck nipping at the pulse of her neck. I pull out and in the now daylight I can see my cock, pressed between her ass cheeks, taking the last sensations on my shaft’s inches, and sending a full load up and across her back. Arching and splashing with the remains of the forward energy. A ribbon in the sky as Stevie Wonder would say (yup, thats my theory about that song). I could jam that cock back inside her again, it’s still that hard, but I know she's spent and I doubt I would finish before lunch. So instead I nose dive into another spoon and hold her tight.

It feels a bit awkward in the morning when we finally wake up and get out of bed. Last night was hard. My desire had robbed her of much sleep. And I'm not staying for breakfast today. I ask if she’s ok for breakfast. I quickly fix the squeak in the front door, kiss her, let her know I could devour her like that all day and night, that I love her, and to say hi to Duane for me.

[youreghanamissme]

youth camps

There are a lot of things I’m proud about (and equally, many things that I would like to forget at the bottom of an empty pint of ice cream) and participating in Peace Corps-organized youth camps may be the brightest highlight of my time in Ghana thus far. PCV’s do a lot. Some of us facilitate health lessons in local schools, fund animal-rearing projects, help build ICT centers and libraries, build latrines for our community, and get boreholes constructed at our sites, but youth camps are one of the best, most rewarding projects that PCV’s churn out. Sure, it’s not a sustainable venture, but I think it produces sustainable results in the way we make Ghanian youth feel. As finite volunteers, it isn’t guaranteed that we’ll see those results while we’re here, but it squeezes my heart small to think about a grown Ghanian student who reminisces about that one week in JHS when they were compelled to critically think about their future, their wants and needs, their place in the fabric of society and where society’s pushes and pulls fits into their perspective; when they met other students, just like them, but from other communities 50, 100 miles away; when they interacted with deaf students and realized that friendship transcends spoken word.

When I think about that, I'm grateful. This is happiness.

When I recall the connections I’ve made with my campers, I regret forgetting that happiness. It’s so easy to dismiss our successes when our failures are imprinted in our minds like murder scenes–murder of our pride, feelings of self-worth, and consequently, the fear of failure. I try to think about Maya Angelou’s quote in moments like these: “People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.”

In the past month, I've been a group leader—from set-up to re-pack—of two amazing PCV-organized youth camps.

GLOW/BRO – Girls Leading Our World/ Boys Respecting Others. GLOW/BRO camps are regional camps. I participated in the most recent Northern edition, and let me tell ya what– it was fucking fantastic. It took a few days for the students to warm up to each other, but by the end of it, I wish we had more time. My group named ourselves Golden Royals because our bandana color was yellow. How fitting because these young people are kings and queens in their own right; a PCV in their community felt that they were exemplary and hard-working and leaders that needed a little more polishing.

Not everyone's English skills were on the same level. It was somehow disarming to see the disparity in English comprehension amongst JHS students across the Northern region. It goes to show that there are many elements at play in the Ghana Education System-- the teachers, the students themselves, external pressures (parents, the household chores), and the curriculum. English typically becomes the primary language in the classroom by Primary 4, and many of the JHS students in attendance knew little beyond greetings and survival English. But we needed to converse in English since not all students spoke the same language. Some spoke Dagbani, others Mamprouli, Linkpapang, and Ghanian Sign Language (GSL).

One of the amazing aspects of the northern GLOW/BRO camp was its location. The Savelugu School of the Deaf hosted us, and a good fifteen or so Sav Deaf School students also attended so that there were two hearing impaired student groups in addition to the five hearing groups. Each group also had a Ghanian counterpart—a SHS student or graduate to be a sort of role model (and translator, in many of our cases) to the JHS students.

Camp was set up so that each full day was devoted to a theme: health, business, and gender equality. The Golden Royals ate meals together. We had end-of-the-day group discussions to explore sessions that day, and the conversations within our small groups teased out the nuances of each theme. Sex. Pregnancy. Stereotypes. Self-esteem. Defining Success. Gender norms in Ghana. We tried to cover the big stuff. We made an effort to get as many Ghanian professionals as speakers as possible. It's one thing to have a PCV lead a session, but it's much more powerful for the students to see someone like them—especially women—center-stage, commanding an audience.

I was lucky to have the opportunity to lead two sessions: one on sexual and reproductive health, another on recycling used pure water satchets into zipper bags. The SRH lesson was INTENSE. I talk fast, so it became a funny and somehow laugh-at-myself awkward lesson where I would talk, my co-leader Jenn would translate my Ghanian English into even slower Ghanian English, and my Dagbani Language and Culture Facilitator (LCF) Alhassan would translate what Jenn said into legit Ghanian English with the cadence that the students could understand. No matter how hard I tried to slow down my speed, it was still too fast! It became more like a Q&A session as students became fixated on the STI's (and all the extremely complicated hypothetical situations of contracting an STI) and lost in all the technical terminology. It's kind of a hard topic to smash into an hour and a half... and still leave room to talk about consent and frame the whole discussion within a sex-positivity vibe. Ghanian youth are so used to getting  abstinence-only drilled into them at school because of the cultural climate in Ghana. Sex is taboo, as it is in many cultures, but it's even more scandalous in a country whose population is mostly either Christian or Muslim. Unsurprisingly, teen pregnancy still happens here, like it does in many other countries. We tried our best to impart that it's OK to have sex; just be responsible and mature and make sure that you're ready. After, we had condom demo races where campers competed against and each other as they practiced saying the steps to opening and putting an external latex condom onto a penis demonstrator. When there is a lull at camp, pull out the bag of condoms!

And the sign language interpreters had to sign everything. Kudos to them!

Each day had a mini sign language lesson, and students would ask for more sign words and practice greetings and signing their names... it made my heart swell to see how keen the hearing students were in absorbing as much GSL as they could.

Camp was exhausting, but what a lark it was! It was my first all-around camp. I had group-led day camps before, but I had never been a leader from 6am – 10pm for a week! Despite the exhaustion, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

The Golden Royals Crew.

Some highlights:

Four of us arrived a day early to set up mosquito nets for campers. We didn't realize how potent the insecticide on the new, treated nets was, and you know how it is—folks don't realize how often they touch their face. By the end of the night, everyone's faces and eyeballs were on fire! It was horrible and a little traumatic.

One of favorite campers from my group, Gifty, still keeps in contact with me! She updates me every now and then on her successes in school. My heart melted when she gave a photo of herself to a fellow student in her community who was attending STARS camp to give to me. Printed photos are not cheap and easy to procure in the village, y'all. I was impressed and deeply touched. I can't articulate fully how much of an effect that the gesture had on me. Camp lives on, in a way, even when it’s over.

I still get the occasional phone call and whatsapp message from GLOW/BRO campers :)

The GLOW/BRO dance parties were DOPE AF! These young people had some killer moves. I took mental notes.

STARS – Students Taking Action, Reaching For Success. I tell ya what-- Peace Corps sure loves its strategically-derived acronyms. Whereas GLOW/BRO occurs all over Ghana, STARS camp was on a national scale. This was for the cream of the crop. The best students at their local SHS and JHS were elected by a PCV, and those students were the chosen few to attend camp at the Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology (KNUST), the premiere university of Ghana; #1 for the numero unos of our communities. Folks from all over Ghana congregated in Kumasi for this camp focusing on technology, business, health, and art. SHS students were at STARS for a full week whereas JHS students were only there for a few days. We staggered their arrival so that we can teach specific lessons to the SHS students who would in turn conduct teach-back lessons to the JHS students when the latter arrived two days after the former. 

It was an intense week as every minute of every day was accounted for. We were in the big leagues now. Big city, college campus with college students walking around, y’know? We had to make sure nothing funky was going on with our young people. In that regard, GLOW/BRO was a lot more intimate. There was no one else on campus but us. The site was smaller. There were more opportunities for group bonding at GLOW/BRO too. Since I was a JHS group leader again, I only had about three days with my Super Black Stars (punnily and understandably, most other groups also paid homage to the STARS theme) before camp ended. 

STARS was spectacular at encouraging the pursuit of high education. I don’t know if the campers felt the same effect, but the college vibe was a little infectious... like it seeped into my consciousness and my energy by osmosis. STARS did a good job of trying to bring it back to reaching for success, whatever that may mean. Some folks want to be doctors; others want to be fashion designers. How great is that? We had a university student Q&A panel. It was especially powerful to hear from female students who are in STEM share such aspiration and good advice for our female SHS and JHS students. Campers also got to tour the extensive KNUST campus. I woke up reeeal early some mornings in order to go on a short jog/walk and was in awe of how large and elaborate parts of the campus was. There’s a track, a gym, and an art department… I cannot fully describe how cool it was. So many student housing halls, all with their own personality! And there was a mini-mall ON CAMPUS! What?!

All campers got to visit the ICT lab. It was amazing. This was the first time that many of them used an actual computer. There are ICT classes in JHS schools, but it’s all theory. It’s fucking crazy—ICT teachers often roughly draw a desktop on the worn chalkboard and explain how to do things on the computer, like open a Word document, create a folder, or how to bold a sentence. It all boils down to memorization at the JHS level if your school doesn’t have a computer lab. Some students had trouble just moving the mouse. One could really see the difference between the JHS students and the SHS students. The latter were more exposed to computers and could imbed photos or change their font colors with ease in Microsoft Word.

To encapsulate STARS in a few paragraphs is rough. I really enjoyed the reusable menstrual pad workshop PCV McCrady did. We did yoga every day (what a work out for my stiff self!). The food was so good. There were meals where I ran out of soup and continued to eat my banku or fufu ball – pure carb ball, baby! Students learned how to do batik dyeing. Campers tried deep-fried, garlic-y curry eggplant (and hated it, unfortunately!). Professionals in volunteerism, business, and in STEM came to talk to them.

No lie – I was pretty burnt out right before STARS. I had just finished GLOW/BRO and had been busting my booty doing working group stuff (I’ll post on that later). I had just finished the first part of a bee-keeping training and a GRS malaria bed net distribution at my site. I was busy, busy, and busy… but I have never felt so low and alone in Ghana. I was dealing with a lasagna of stress, anxiety, and depression going on a month. I was managing, but barely. The last thing I wanted to do was go to another camp and be pretend-happy and pretend-cheerful. But STARS really brought me up. I am happy I went and met and worked with incredible people and saw a side of Ghana/ Kumasi that I’ve never seen. Definitely had a blast!

Some highlights:

I’ve never purchased a pair of TOMS shoes in my life because they’re expensive af. I also feel that the company culturally appropriates the shoe design of indigenous Chileans, but you can only spill so much haterade… Would you believe me if I told you that my first pair of TOMS are on the receiving end from Ghana? Thanksss, ‘murica! Really though, I don’t believe in the BOGO model of “charity”/ “international aid.” I think that model encourages a handout environment around international aid and takes away from local businesses (I go to a cobbler for my sandals more times than I’ve ever done so in America. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle is a way of life because of necessity rather than mindfulness.)

I felt it was OK to give students free shoes at camp only because it was an isolated event. It wasn’t as if we were dropping them down in a village (something I would not be cool with). I did, however, wish we discussed with our youth more about where the shoes came from and why they were receiving it, rather than just handing it to them like we did. I feel like consciousness about our impact as foreigners coming to volunteer in Ghana is vital in sustainability.

The STARS talent show was lit! I liked how our Ghanian students interpreted talent. You get the usual dancing and singing, but students also told jokes and performed short plays. The group leaders attempted to do the electric slide...

We had an activity where we literally set our “I can’ts…” on fire in a pot. Did I already say that STARS was lit?

I designed the STARS shirts. Schedule an appointment with my agent if you want to meet, bwhahahaha!

I know I share crumbs about struggling here and there on the blog, but that’s just part of life, and by extension, part of my PC experience. Life is a struggle, and I’m a work in progress. Fuck feelings. Sometimes it’s better to just accept circumstances that you can’t change and focus and celebrate the things you can. And camp helped me take a step forward in that direction. It reminded me that I do good work; that I am a good person; that I have friends who care and are there; that there is a world out there that I haven’t seen yet; that so much beauty and joy exists in just hearing “I will miss you” from a student. I fuck loving camp.

[yeol-mints]

euphoria ; prologue

Pairing: OT13 x Reader Genre: fluff, romance, light reading, college!au, drama (?) Word count: 1,8k

eu·pho·ri·a - a feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness.

“ because living with these thirteen dorky guys results happy moments, maybe with a little drama here and there and hint of angst. but, in the end, you will feel the euphoria with these boys. ”

prologue | 1 | 2 |

You walked out from Incheon Airport then stopped for a moment, your eyes wandering around the surroundings as a light smile appear on your face. “Not so much change, it still the same like two years ago.” You took a deep breath of the fresh air with another smile.

“Let’s see, I think the dorm is not too far away from here.” You said confidently as you wait for your aunt to pick you up. From what you heard, there are another four people arrived at the same times as yours. You began searching for them but then decided it’s a stupid idea since you don’t even know their faces or names.

….

Seungcheol came out from his room and staring at the mess in the dorm, he ruffled his hair with a sigh then walked toward a really messy living room. “YA! I told you guys to clean up, not to lazy around and watching TV!” He scolded and kept continue blabbering, earning groan from his friends.

Seeing no sign of his friends get up from their position, the boy rolled his eyes. “Aish, I should get back to my room, it’s still in a mess,” he said to himself and walked back to his room.

“Ah, I’m soooo lazy!” Chan complained with a sigh as he started to clean the living room, he turned back to his friends with a look. “Why am I the only one working here anyway ?” He raised an eyebrow –it clearly shows how irritated he is.

Seungkwan got up from his seat then shrugged carelessly. “You’re the maknae so that means you must do the works.” Chan rolled his eyes at the other boy, he always told the fact every time the younger boy whining about the unfairness.

The other laughing silently as they lazily got up from their seat while the maknae is really not happy about it. Just about he want to protest and defend himself, Seungcheol came again with annoyed look. “Why do you guys still not doing anything ?” The older boy sent his dreadful glare to them.

“Hyung, we actually about to start cleaning,” Soonyoung starts picking up the snacks and empty bottle on the floor.

Chan rolled his eyes, a hint of offended on his face. “Liar.”

The word made him earn glares from the other boys while Seungcheol just heaved a sigh and ruffled his hair. Just about he want to get back into his room, he turned again and stares at younger boy. “Chan, you should clean your room. Leave this to the others.”

A grin slowly plastered onto his handsome face as he nodded his head. “Okay, hyung.”

“I also think I need to clean my room. You guys can clean your room after finish clean this room and kitchen,” said a boy with long hair, he got up from his sleeping position on the couch with a yawn. The other boys groan at the sudden decision.

Seokmin watch as the boy leaving the room, he lets out a sigh. “Jeonghan hyung always control people to do whatever he wants.”

“I guess it means it just the six of us left here. We need to finish this fast so we can clean our room.” Wonwoo put down his book and get up to approach Soonyoung who had been cleaning the room although there aren’t any improvement as the living room is just too messy. Last night, the boys were watching a live football broadcast and they didn’t bother to clean up the mess they made after the broadcast. It’s tiring, Seungkwan reasoned.

“Count me out. I don’t participate in making this mess anyway.” Jihoon shrug off the leftover snacks on his knees, he was sure it’s not there before. When his eyes caught the mischievous glint on Soonyoung’s eyes, he finally knew why his cleaning didn’t help much, the boy had been dumping the trash to him. Jihoon let out an annoyed groan as he got up, leaving the room without any word, already planning to kill Soonyoung on his mind.

Seokmin join Soonyoung in picking up the trash as the latter finally start his work after the death glare he received from Jihoon. Seokmin tilted his head in wonder. “I wonder why Seungcheol hyung told us to cleaning this dorm, so suddenly.”

“Maybe there will be a guest,” Soonyoung replied, curious too.

Seungkwan threw his body to the couch as his eyes glued to the TV screen, there aren’t any sign he will start to clean the room soon or later, which earned glares from the other two. “Or maybe Mrs. Im already went back from Japan.”

“Seungcheol hyung won’t told us to clean the dorm if it’s only Mrs. Im coming,” Wonwoo commented while smacking Seungkwan’s head and scolded him for being lazy as the latter grumbled and got up from his position, lazily.

“Well, let’s just clean up, okay ?” Wonwoo joined in the conversation, wanted the younger boys to stop chatting and start cleaning for real. They have been cleaning since morning but until now –it’s already noon, the dorm still in messy condition.

He walked toward Mingyu who is busy with his cell phone. Just about he want to tap his shoulder, Mingyu let out a faint gasped which earn attention the other five boys. Curious, the boys start to gather around him and try to look at the phone.

“Well, what happen actually ?” Seungkwan questioned, looks ready to complain if it’s not important.

“He got a new girl, maybe ?”

“How about that Jiyoo girl then ?”

“He dumped her already, since three days ago,”

“Really ?”

Mingyu looked up from his phone then stares at his friends in bored manner. “Will you stop talking about my love life, please.” He then brightened as he show his phone toward the boys. “Mrs. Im said she will come home soon, this noon.”

Soonyoung raised an eyebrow. “What so interesting about it ?”

“She will come with her niece,” Mingyu said excitedly with a smile.

Seungkwan nodded then stared the other boys in awe. “Wait, it’s girl?”

Wonwoo tilted his head as he start to understand the reason for Mingyu’s sudden bright mood. “Well, that’s mean there will be girl in this dorm.”

“Wow. There will be a girl.” Seokmin said, quiet amazed with the news.

Mingyu nodded his head. “Isn’t that good ?”

“I know what’s on your mind right now. Don’t flirt with her.” Wonwoo warned.

“I’m not like Soonyoung, okay ?”

The older boy quickly looked at him, offended. “Hey, you’re way more dangerous than me.”

Suddenly they heard the door’s bell rang, they looked each other. “Ya! Maknae, open the door!” Seungkwan shouted loudly, so Chan could hear it.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan who were currently in Chan’s bedroom, turned to Chan who was placing the books at the bookshelf according to alphabet. Chan blew his bangs with annoyed look then walked out from the room to the door, both Seungcheol and Jeonghan following him from behind with an amused expression.

“Being maknae is suck.” He mumbled to himself while Seungcheol just let out a small chuckle.

Meanwhile the others still talking about Mrs. Im’s niece, Seokmin turned to look at Soonyoung. “When do you think she will come ?” He asked. Soonyoung just shrugged and shook his head.

“Maybe there’s something about that in the message.” Seungkwan said.

“Well, it says they will come today,” Wonwoo read the text casually.

The others widened their eyes. Great. This dorm is still messy. What if the girl see this ? “Really?! I have to see her!” Mingyu shouted excitedly –totally didn’t mind about the dorm condition right now.

“This dorm is still messy!” Wonwoo complained.

Then they heard the door’s bell rang again. “Hey, I think it’s Mrs. Im and her niece.” Seokmin stated.

They quickly ran toward the door except Wonwoo who just walked casually from behind. Chan who still complaining with Seungcheol and Jeonghan beside him opened the door, suddenly they fell on the floor because Seokmin bumped into Mingyu and the others –who were stood behind the maknae, causing all seven of them to fell on the floor.

….

You blinked your eyes when you saw seven boys fell on the floor. You turned your gaze to see one boy standing not far from them with almost blank face. Then you turned back to look at the seven boys who still on the floor, looking at you.

Four boys come out from behind your back to see the commotion, the foreign looking boy gaped at the sight. “Wow, look at that Jisoo hyung!” The said boy let out a small smile as he took the younger boy’s hand. “It’s not polite to point your finger at people, Hansol.”

The other boy with distinct accent, comment, “They fell like domino.”

Jisoo rubbed his nape a bit awkward. “I don’t think it’s polite either to comment it like that, Minghao.”

On the other hand, you still gazed at the boys who already caught in a small fight over to decided who’s the culprit to make them end up on the floor. Seokmin was laughing excitedly as he saw Seungkwan ready to fight Soonyoung for stepping on his precious hand, which earned complain from the latter. “I’m also a victim here! My head hit the damn floor.”

“Hey, don’t sit on my hair!”

“Ah, hyung! Just get up already, all of you. Especially Seungcheol hyung, I can’t breath.”

“As much as I want to get up, Mingyu is laying on my arms.”

“Okay, guys. I think it’s not the time to bickering like this.” Wonwoo said quietly as you finally realized his presence and look at him. He awkwardly look back as he greets you and the other four boys –they’re basically still commenting about the boys on the floor with Jisoo busy stopping them from making impolite comment to people they just met.

“Girl, instead of wasting your time looking at these boys, let’s just go to my room. Let’s play.”

Jisoo grumbled. “Jun. That’s impolite to say to a girl!”

Just when you thought the situation can’t get any worse than this, a boy with pink hair come to add more commotion. “YA! Kim Mingyu! Didn’t I tell you it’s your turn to clean up the bathroom this week? It starts to stinks!”

Seungcheol who finally manage to get up and stop the boys from being noisy –although there are still glares thrown to Soonyoung from Seungkwan while Seokmin trying to suppress his laughter. The oldest boy smiled apologetically at you and the other four boys.

“I’m sorry for their behavior. They’re usually not like this.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. “It’s a lie.”

Before Seokmin could add another word and make the situation become noisy again, Seungcheol quickly cut him off. “Anyway, welcome to the dormitory! I hope you guys will enjoy living here!”

You let out a nervous laugh as you look around your surroundings. ‘I think it will quite noisy everyday.’

[shanujey82-blog]

How to Use Female Condoms - Elawoman

How to Use Female Condoms

Female condoms are anything but difficult to use with a little practice. Here are the nuts and bolts on the most proficient method to embed, utilize, and evacuate a female condom.

How would I utilize female condoms?

The female condom is greater than a male condom, however don't stress: it's not awkward when you embed it accurately. In the event that you can utilize a tampon, you can most likely utilize a female condom.

Tips to Use Female Condom

1.Check the termination date on the bundle, and after that open it precisely.

2. The female condom comes officially greased up, however you can include more lube on the off chance that you need. You can likewise include spermicide.

3. Unwind and get into an agreeable position. Remaining with one foot on a seat, resting, or crouching are regular faves — sort of like how you'd put in a tampon.

4. Crush together the sides of the internal ring at the shut end of the condom and slide it into your vagina like a tampon.

5. Drive the inward ring into your vagina to the extent it can go, up to your cervix. Ensure it's not turned.

6. Haul out your finger and let the external ring hang around an inch outside the vagina. You're ready!

7. Guide your accomplice's penis into the opening of the condom, ensuring it doesn't slip to the side between the condom and your vaginal dividers.

8. To utilize the female condom for butt-centric sex, expel the inward ring and embed the condom into your rear-end with your finger, leaving the external ring hanging out.

The most effective method to evacuate a female condom:

1. After sex, bend the external ring (the part that is hanging out) to keep semen (cum) inside the pocket.

2. Tenderly haul it out of your vagina or butt, being mindful so as not to spill any semen.

3. Discard it in the junk (never flush any sort of condom, since it can obstruct your latrine).

4. Female condoms are not reusable — utilize another one each time you have intercourse.

How to Use Female Condom Correctly

It's absolutely typical for the female condom to move around a tad amid sex, however the penis ought to be totally encompassed by the condom constantly. Stop if the penis slips out of the condom into your vagina, or if the external ring gets pushed into your vagina. On the off chance that your accomplice didn't discharge (cum) yet, delicately expel the condom and set up it back.

On the off chance that your accomplice ejaculated outside the female condom close to your vulva or into your vagina — and you're not utilizing another strategy for anti-conception medication — you can in any case counteract pregnancy with crisis contraception (a next day contraceptive). Crisis contraception can avoid pregnancy up to five days after unprotected sex.

A coolest aspect regarding the female condom is you can place it in early, before foreplay and sex, so you don't need to interfere with the activity when it's a great opportunity to get occupied. Your accomplice can even get in on the fun and embed the condom for you.

What to Do If a Female Condom Breaks

It's impossible that a female condom will break, particularly if utilized effectively. In any case, if a female condom breaks, or hole when expelled from the vagina, or if the external ring climbs inside the vagina – or if something different turns out badly like the penis slipping between the condom and the vagina amid sex – then there are a couple of straightforward things you can do:

pull back the penis instantly

expel as much semen (cum) as you can

abstain from washing inside your vagina or butt (douching) as this can spread disease further or cause bothering

in the event that you've been having vaginal sex go to the washroom and pee to flush away any semen that might be close to your urethra

on the off chance that you haven't been utilizing some other prophylactic to counteract pregnancy, you might need to consider getting to crisis contraception inside 72 long periods of engaging in sexual relations.

Most sexual wellbeing experts will encourage you to have a sexual wellbeing test around 10 days after unprotected sex or if a condom breaks (or prior in case you're stressed over any side effects) and afterward again around three months after the fact. This is on the grounds that diverse STIs will end up perceptible at various circumstances after disease.

What is Unwanted Pregnancy: Symptoms, Causes, Diagnosis, and Treatment

Definition and Overview

As indicated by measurements, half of pregnancies consistently are either impromptu or undesirable. An undesirable pregnancy absolutely puts a lady in a difficulty. How she handles the circumstance will to a great extent rely upon her age, enthusiastic steadiness, and bolster she gets amid this troublesome period.

Now and again, the pregnancy may not be the main issue. Different components, for example, infections, may additionally muddle the circumstance. Luckily, most ladies today have a significant number of choices when managing an undesirable pregnancy.

Ladies in this circumstance need to know their accessible choices and they should think about every choice painstakingly before settling on a ultimate choice. It's critical to understand that albeit a significant number of the alternatives that will be talked about in this article are accessible in many nations, some of them are definitely not. Different components, for example, religious convictions and existing laws may constrain a lady's decisions.

Reason for Condition

A huge number of ladies around the globe can't imagine a kid. Nonetheless, numerous more have a working conceptive framework that can be enacted at the ideal time. An undesirable pregnancy can happen if a lady's regenerative framework is activated when she wouldn't plan or like to end up pregnant.

This can occur because of an assortment of reasons, for example, unprotected sex, assault, or a basic error in family arranging systems. To date, none of the accessible contraceptives or family arranging systems is 100 percent compelling. Some might be more successful than others are, however none can give a 100% assurance.

Key Symptoms

Ladies who have experienced a past pregnancy will have the capacity to recognize the indications. Be that as it may, each lady is extraordinary, which is the reason some may show manifestations while others won't or will have diverse side effects. Furthermore, a considerable lot of the normal indications of early pregnancy are like feminine cycle. A few ladies may botch them all things considered and not understand that they are in truth pregnant.

It's critical to take note of that in spite of the fact that the accompanying are normal side effects, they don't affirm a pregnancy. Experiencing a pregnancy test will affirm the condition.

Pregnancy signs and manifestations typically begin when the prepared egg joins to the uterus.

Cramping and vaginal spotting - One of the early indications of pregnancy is cramping, which is fundamentally the same as issues a lady encounters just before monthly cycle. Vaginal spotting, in the mean time, is likewise alluded to as implantation draining that can happen once the egg has been treated. Other than blood spots, ladies may likewise see a thick white vaginal release.

Broadening of the bosoms - Pregnant ladies will experience hormonal changes amid pregnancy. One of the aftereffects of these progressions is the augmentation of the bosoms, particularly the dim region around the areolas called the areola.

Morning affliction - It's commonplace for pregnant ladies to encounter morning ailment, yet this doesn't occur to each lady. Numerous trust that the condition is caused by hormonal changes, however the correct reason is yet to be distinguished.

Missed menstrual period - It's common for pregnant ladies to miss the following menstrual period after origination. Be that as it may, a missed period does not naturally imply that a lady is pregnant. Numerous components and medicinal conditions, for example, polycystic ovary disorder, can make a lady miss her period.

The need to urinate much of the time - Although this isn't one of the early side effects of pregnancy, it will occur at the appropriate time. The essential driver of this condition is the hormonal changes that the lady experience amid pregnancy.

Unsteadiness and Fatigue - With every one of the progressions occurring in a lady's body amid pregnancy, it's typical for them to have a general sentiment of shortcoming.

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[puppiesleashesandkittnensca-blog]

In Sickness....

I know I touched on this in the first posting, but I fear I might have been slightly insensitive in the nonchalant nature I went about downplaying its severity and I don’t want to invalidate anyone’s feelings. Contracting an STD/STI can be an emotionally/physically tumultuous experience. There is a stigma and societal message of shame with diagnosis. I implore you to be proactive in preventing contraction and spreading of any disease by getting tested regularly and practicing safe sex. Ok? Now I’m done lecturing. If you do find yourself in this position, I want to assure you everything will be ok. I know from experience. Remember when I told you at the very least you’ll be entertained? Well, here we go.

 When I was 19, starting my 2nd year of college I met the man who would become the most prominent person in my life for awhile. But I’m getting ahead of myself. When we met, I thought nothing much of him. It was at a house party near campus and while partying had never really been my scene, I was feeling particularly reckless. I set out with the sole intention of forgetting another man—I interject, I do not advocate these actions. In fact I condemn them. This is not a story for you to try and replicate, but learn from my mistakes and also know if you make a mistake every now and then, you’ll be fine too. Or, I’m just entertaining. Incredibly disgruntled, I scanned the room looking for a victim. He sat on the couch on the opposing wall, completely ordinary. He just seemed to blend in with his surroundings. This chameleon would be perfect, he wasn’t going to draw attention to himself. I felt the painfully predictable plainness of his orientation and essence would keep him from being a real person, and most likely, never fall in love. That was my initial impression of my someday ex-fiancé.

I approached him as the only sober person in the house and bluntly inquired, “Wanna make out?”

He curiously blinked at me through his confusion and offered “Sure! Back at my place?” I pondered the implications and potentially problematic nature of the situation and countered,

“Ok, but 3 rules. You’re driving. No sex. And you CANNOT fall in love with me.”

Out of pure paranoia, I kept my virginity intact until this point. Even back then it was never a moral issue. To be honest, I feared it would hurt. Anyway, the night progressed and he abided by almost all 3 rules. The one he broke? Falling in love.

After that first encounter we had daily, well mainly nightly, encounters. Every night after school or work we would venture to each other’s places. We worked on homework and fell asleep with each other. Every following morning we sat on the floor, drinking coffee, and talking. This is how I grew well acquainted with my boyfriend. We had an odd connection, a precious intimacy, and a mutual trust in perfect strangers sharing a bed. We seemed to have skipped that awkward dating phase and delve directly into old married couple. We were happy.

After 45 consecutive nights and mornings of this, we defined the relationship. After 62 nights and mornings together, I decided I wanted to have sex. It was an uncomfortable conversation. But I had questions and wanted to explicitly voice my concerns. He uninhibitedly answered my questions and acknowledged/comforted my fears. He also lied to me.

A couple months later, our relationship was in full swing and I began to feel painfully fatigued. At work, there’s this wall about waist high, to keep all the dogs in the pin. It was a common practice to hoist yourself up over the wall, rather than risk the dogs bombarding the door as you walked through and potentially escaping. But that day, I tried what I normally could do with ease, but instead of lifting up, my arms crumbled underneath my body. Soon, waves of unbearable pain washed over lower abdomen. It was the kind of pain that when it hits, all you know is pain. My brain just shut down, I could hardly breathe at the peak of each wave. But it would eventually pass into a dull ache.

We had no idea what was going on. This continued for several days. One night, the pain grew so intense, my boyfriend insisted we go to the Emergency Room. I reluctantly complied, but when we got there, it was so packed and I so desperately did not want to be there, we returned home. The next morning, however, he took me to the doctor.

Chlamydia. The nurse called me and gently broke the news, “It’s not a big deal, you just take 1 or 2 pills, you’ll be fine, we see these cases several times a week in here.” She coaxed. But I wasn’t going to be fine. I felt humiliated, unclean, ashamed. An STI? How did I let this happen? I was so careful, or at least I thought.

I honestly thought I did everything right and I still got infected. I didn’t think I fit the stereotype of the kind of girl who would get sick. I waited until I was over 18, I waited until I completely trusted him, I asked all the awkward questions. It can happen to anyone. He never knew because he never had symptoms, and lied when he told me he had been tested since the last time he had sex. I was so angry, I felt betrayed and I hated myself for being so stupid.

The thing is, though, I went to the pharmacy, took one pill and within 36 hours I felt so much better. My body felt normal again. In hindsight, I understand it isn’t as big of a deal. But I also remember what it feels like in the moment. That heart wrenching, stigmatized, “oh shit!” of a moment. If this happens to you, I promise you, it’ll be ok.

An important aspect of restraining a positive self-concept after a trauma is a strong support system. Luckily my family and even my boyfriend—yes I stayed with him—were completely understanding. They helped de-stigmatize it in my mind. Not everyone has that experience though. If you don’t feel comfortable confiding in friends and family, the Calpulli Center offers psychological services and counseling for completely confidential and discreet healing.

Told you it would be entertaining! It took me several years to not feel completely marked by it, but the reality is, like any other infection, it was just a sickness. Like strep throat, you take the medication and it’s gone. So let’s recap

1.     Be proactive in testing before and after to prevent spreading anything (remember, he had no symptoms, so he didn’t know and my symptoms didn’t show up until 2 months later)

2.     Even if tested, practice safe sex. You can trust the other person more than anyone, but the precaution is just a safety net

3.     If you find yourself in a position like me, try to have some perspective. I know it’s hard, but if you take the proper steps, you’ll heal. It really won’t be a big deal.

4.     If you do start to show symptoms, DO NOT IGNORE THEM! While some only take a course of antibiotics to completely cure, if left untreated there can be painful and permanent damage.

 You’re an adult now, remember? Still very excited to explore yourself and the world! On your journey, just keep up a degree of responsibility and perspective. No matter what happens, you’ll get through it. Promise. Until next time…

 Warm Wishes,

Jenna Erickson

[merlinficreview]

The Student Prince: Chapter 1-5 Review!

Sorry it’s been 84 years since Romeo or I have posted anything. Romeo is back to school for the semester so her time is limited and work has been really draining on me recently. Never fear, we are still here though and I’ve got a review!

The Student Prince by FayJay

Word Count: 145222

Ok guys, this is it. The infamous Student Prince fic. I have read this one before and I liked it because it seems to be the closest fic I’ve found to a modernized version of the BBC show. Plus, as I’ve already said before, I am a sucker for Modern Royalty AUs. This fic also takes place at the University of St. Andrews, which I know nothing about. So google will be my trusty friend throughout this review.

Here we go!

Chapter 1

We begin with Merlin getting hit in the face with some luggage and falling onto some poor elderly lady. Merlin has to maintain an extra sense of control when objects are flying towards his face because he has magic and doesn’t want to out himself. Yay Modern Day Magic Fic!

So it turns out the luggage situation was someone else’s fault. “She glanced from Merlin to the lady and then back again, her face the picture of mortification, and Merlin – who had been feeling a little disgruntled about the whole unexpected-rain-of-luggage scenario – took one look at her huge brown eyes and immediately wanted to reassure her that he had thoroughly enjoyed being knocked half unconscious.” Haha, aww.

The luggage canon introduces herself as Gwen. Yay, Gwen! She is studying engineering at St. Andrews. I think it’s weird that Gwen already has all her textbooks. Have they already signed up for their classes? How would she know what to buy?

Gwen tells Merlin she also has a hammer in her bag. "’Of course there is,’ nodded Merlin, gravely. ‘Who travels without a hammer in their luggage these days? One never knows when a spot of joinery might be in order.’ The corner of his mouth twitched. ‘Stop!’ he said, raising one hand in front of him. Gwen blinked, and after a beat Merlin added: ‘Hammer Time! Dooo doodoodoo! Doodoo! Doo! Hammer Time!’ as he improvised a quick, and truly terrible, attempt at the Hammer Dance in the cramped confines of the aisle.’”

Oh my God. How embarrassing. Stop it, Merlin. Then Gwen tells Merlin that she makes her own jewelry and Merlin is super impressed. Merlin even does the dance a second time and I want to crawl in a hole and die from secondhand embarrassment. Merlin, you JUST met Gwen. Calm yourself.

“’Hey, it's not really Merlin, is it?’ Gwen asked, looking at him sidelong. ‘I mean – really really? You're pulling my leg, right? I mean – nobody's called Merlin. Why would any woman name her baby after an old man with a long white beard and a pointy hat? It's like calling your baby Gandalf.’” This is the second time Gwen has awkwardly expressed disbelief about Merlin’s name. Stop being weirdly obsessed with his name, Gwen. How fucking rude. Poor Merlin. Getting assaulted by luggage and then getting his name made fun of. Good start to college, Merlin. Good start.

Then Gwen points out that Prince Arthur is also going to be attending St. Andrews and she says Merlin and Arthur will become besties. Merlin points out that her name is Guinevere and that she’ll be future queen.

"’That isn't why I applied there,’ she insisted. ‘I mean, I know that there must be thousands of girls who filled in their UCAS forms with St Andrews just because they're living some kind of stupid “Princess Diaries” fantasy and they think they're going to meet him and he'll fall for them and they'll end up with a tiara and a load of corgis, but I'm serious about my career. St Andrews has an excellent engineering department. I was going to apply there long before I heard that's where Arthur was going.’”

But that’s not the plot of The Princess Diaries at all?

I also have the St. Andrews website pulled up because like I said, I know nothing about it, or going to school in the UK, to be honest, and it doesn’t even look like St. Andrews has an engineering department. Man, Gwen is going to be pissed when she finds out she spent all her money on textbooks for a degree her school doesn’t offer.

Then Gwen tells us how King Uther met his wife while they were at Oxford once upon a time. "It's such a beautiful story, isn't it? The way they met at Oxford when she borrowed his jar of Gold Blend, not even realising he was the Prince of Wales at first because he was in the middle of shaving and she was distracted by her friend's dog...oh, they were so in love!" Gold Blend is coffee, by the way. I had to google it too. In what situation would a man be shaving his face next to a container of instant coffee while a random dog is nearby? That’s such an odd scene to imagine. Maybe she knocked in his door to borrow the coffee and she had the dog with her? Were there co-ed dormitories back then?

Merlin is just as suspicious about this story as I am and pops Gwen’s bubble, telling her it was most likely PR. I agree.

"Merlin shook his head mutely, and carefully didn't mention any of the books or magazines he might possibly have read about Prince Arthur and his family. Especially not the outrageously hot photoshoot in GQ magazine that he'd been hiding under his bed for the past three months, and frantically jerking off to most nights. Nope, definitely not mentioning that. Gwen rolled her eyes. ‘Uther and Igraine – it's like a modern day Romeo and Juliet!’" First of all, 100% do not mention that to Gwen. Good decision. Second of all, Gwen has a really hard time grasping plots, doesn’t she? No wonder she decided to major in a non-existent department at her university. She’s not a very bright girl.

We then learn that Merlin is planning to major in physics. That is a department at St. Andrews, good job, Merlin! Then Gwen compares their journey to Hogwarts. “He found himself wishing he could explain about Professor Gaius and Doctor Nimueh, and about the kind of text books he had stuffed into the bottom of his rucksack – but that wasn't going to happen. Magic was secret, and secret it should stay. Nobody wanted to go back to the days of witchburnings.” Poor Merlin. It’s always so sad that he has to hide himself. I will also give him a pass for already having magic books because that’s different.

Gwen and Merlin talk a little more about Harry Potter and then go right back to talking about Arthur and how they’ll probably never meet him. Well…

Then Merlin gets real depressing real fast. "Whatever. All those posh interbred types with more rooms than they know what to do with and flocks of sheep wandering around on their enormous ancient estates - that's who he'll be hanging out with. Not with a physics student from a grotty little council estate in Cardiff, or an engineering student – however lovely – who lives above her dad's garage in Wembley. Face it – we don't have our own flocks of sheep." Brutal Honesty Hour! It’s my favorite time of day!

Merlin then shares some chocolate with Gwen and they enjoy the rest of their train ride.

Chapter 2

“The door was open a crack when Merlin reached his room in St Salvator's Hall, and he could hear voices inside, and what sounded rather a lot like The Rolling Stones.” I looked up St. Salvator’s Hall and holy crap those rooms are nice. According to the photos, the rooms are like twice as big as the dorm rooms of the university I went to. I also decided to compare prices, for funsies, and also to sit and cry about how much more ridiculously expensive it is to go to university here than in other countries. The fee for a shared room at St. Salvator’s Hall is £5,837 which includes a meal plan. That’s 6292.55 USD for comparison. At the University that I went to, a shared room with communal bath is 6,795 USD. This does not include a meal plan which could add up to around 800 USD if you pick the one with the most meals. Those rates are also per semester and not for the entire academic year. Now, St. Salvator’s rate does not state whether the fee is per semester or for the whole year but either way, it’s still way more expensive here in the US. It also looks like St. Salvator Hall doesn’t have communal bathrooms like the one located here that I looked up. Yay not affordable education here in the US!

Anyways, Merlin enters the room and his roommate is none other than the Prince of Wales himself, Arthur. Oh my god. I NEVER saw that one coming!

“’Only – I thought – well, I pretty much assumed that you'd be staying over at New Hall. Where they have single rooms. And ensuites with all the mod cons,’ blurted Merlin. ‘Not sharing a room in Sally's. Why are you sharing a room in Sally's?’ Arthur frowned. ‘Because I lost a bet, if you must know. With my father.’ He stared at Merlin, looking puzzled and a touch irritated. ‘You weren't expecting this, then? They didn't get you to sign things – Official Secrets Act, all that?’” I think that’s a fair question Merlin is asking and I also want to know what sort of bet Arthur lost. How fucking awkward that no one alerted Merlin to who his roommate was supposed to be. Don’t they give out roommate names before the semester starts?

So then Arthur gets bitchy that Merlin hasn’t signed a non-disclosure agreement. “Well – sorry if this sounds, you know, rude, but basically if you touch any of my stuff, or take photos of me or my friends, or tape conversations, or sell your story to the press, or – basically, if you act like a dick, right? Well, we're talking Tower of London, pretty much. That's the Cliff Notes version.”

Calm the fuck down, Arthur. Throwing Merlin in the tower for borrowing your history book is way too excessive. So then Merlin asks if he can make a citizen’s arrest if Arthur does any the aforementioned things to Merlin. Good job, Merlin. Arthur is a complete asshole about that, acting like Merlin’s stuff is grosser than the stuff on the bottom on Arthur’s shoes and tells Merlin he will replace anything he ruins with something of “equal value.” "’Like a stick of gum,’ murmured Kay, sniggering.” Yeah, be prepared to really really fucking hate Kay in this. "’I can see why you have to swear people to secrecy, if this is how you act when you're not around a reporter,’ blurted out Merlin, feeling cheated. ‘You really are a massive prat, aren't you? A smug, self-entitled, patronising git.’” Yassssss. You tell him, Merlin.

Arthur and his friends leave and then Merlin goes to find Gaius. We learn a little about the School of Sorcery. This School can be found in every single building on campus, one just has to find the special door with a dragon on it. Merlin finds the door located in his residence hall. Of course the dragon on the door talks to Merlin, "’Young Merlin!’ it said, in a voice like a rusty gate, blinking sulphurous eyes impossibly as it writhed through the wood like an eel in water. ‘Back so soon?’ ‘What?’ Merlin stared at it. ‘I haven't – this is my first time here, Master Dragon.’” So we get a little hint of reincarnation.

Merlin finds Gaius who tries to shoo him away until Merlin gives him his name. Gaius changes his tune after that and tells Merlin he knew his father. The first thing Merlin does is complain about sharing a room with Prince Arthur. He says it will make it too hard to hide his magic. “Gaius blinked at him owlishly. ‘Then I suggest that you learn some discretion, young man, and quickly,’ he said.’” That is such an annoying adult thing to say. What a non-answer. Poor Merlin. Gaius tells Merlin he is supposed to be rooming with Arthur so he can protect him and that wizards have always protected kings and queens. Merlin is unhappy with this news.

Chapter 3

This chapter opens with:

“Hey, Gwen – how's McIntosh Hall?

Brilliant! How's Sallies?

View good, mattress soft, roommate total plonker. Yours?

She seems OK. Sorry you got plonker. Want to meet later & go to Union together?

God, yes please!” It’s written just like that (italics represent direct quotes and bold represents italics within the fic. You know the drill). I assume they are texting.

Anyways: “It was the tail-end of summer, but apparently that meant something rather different on the East coast of Scotland than it did in Wales, and by the time Merlin got to Gwen's Hall of Residence he was wishing he'd brought a coat, rather than just pulling on a black v-neck jumper.” Does Merlin not know how to read a map, or?

Like… I know the UK is small compared to the US but he can’t really be that surprised that the Northern part of the UK is colder than the Southern part. There’s almost 500 miles in between Cardiff and St. Andrews. I’m glad Merlin isn’t majoring in geography.

So Merlin meets up with Gwen outside her residence hall where she has acquired a gentleman caller. It’s probably Lance. Merlin and Gwen hug. “’Hey, you,’ he said into her hair, feeling something in his chest tighten unexpectedly. ‘I missed you.’”

Calm down, Merlin. You’ve known her for thirty seconds and only been away for her for three of those.

Lance is not happy with Merlin’s presence. “’Hi, Lance,’ he said, ducking his head in Lance's general direction. Lance smiled back – or at least, he bared his teeth, which was almost the same thing. Merlin had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. ‘Hi,’ said Lance reaching out a hand that Merlin rather suspected was going to be bone-crushing. He let go of Gwen and accepted the handshake, and managed not to buckle under the pressure of Lance's Very Manly Indeed deathgrip of macho posturing.” LOL HOW HILARIOUS. Men treating women like objects and prizes to be won. Real knee slapper, that joke.

Gwen tells Merlin that Lance is going to be her Academic Dad and then informs us that there’s only 8 weeks until Raisin Weekend. Thanks, Exposition Gwen! So I also googled this Academic Family business since that’s not a thing we have here. So, basically an Academic Mum and Academic Dad are like mentors for first year students and freshmen are allowed to ask for someone to be their Academic Mother but the Academic Dad has to do the asking to the freshmen. So it makes no sense that Gwen was so shocked about Lance asking her. Whatever. Raisin Weekend is basically just an excuse to drink excessively with your Academic Parents and dress up in costumes that Monday and have shaving cream fights. Typical college nonsense.

“’Well, if I'd known they were giving away hot blokes with every room, I'd definitely have put my name down for McIntosh Hall.’ Lance made a startled noise, and his territorial expression shifted rather quickly into something entirely different and almost maiden auntish as Gwen punched Merlin's arm.” Get it, because Gay Merlin is no longer a threat to Lance chasing after Gwen. No one tell Lance bisexual people exist. I think his head would explode. No, you know what? Someone should tell him. He’s an asshole.

“Lance gave her a slightly sheepish grin. ‘It's okay,’ he said. ‘I'll be your designated driver – I'm not big on the alcohol.’ ‘I don't need a designated driver,’ said Gwen, looking at him sidelong. ‘It's a three minute walk! It would take longer to get a car started than it would to get there!’ ‘Right – well, designated guard dog, then. Or knight in shining armour, or guardian angel, or overprotective Dad – whatever you want to call it. I don't drink, so, you know – I'll make sure you're okay. Promise.’”

Oh my God. Slow your fucking roll and let her do what she wants. She’s not some poor defenseless damsel in distress.

Lance gives off an extreme sense of superiority in this fic. He’s a Buddhist, doesn’t drink, volunteers all over the fucking place as Professional Knight in Shining armor and he’s vegan. “’My Dad disapproves of the veganism,’ he admitted, sheepishly. ‘But it's not so hard, really. It feels good, knowing who I am, and what I want out of life. Being mindful in all things.’” Be more pretentious, Lance. Really, I want to see if you can top all of that.

“Merlin studied Lance, trying not to be too damned obvious about it. He wasn't at all sure if this guy was for real, or if he was playing some kind of elaborate joke, with all this holier-than-thou schtick. There was a disconcerting intensity to the man. Merlin wanted to like him, but he wasn't at all sure what to make of him. He did seem a bit too good to be true.” See, Merlin knows.

Oh and Lance is going to teach Gwen kickboxing. He has classes on Wednesday. Of course he does. Merlin is not into it, especially after meeting one of Lance’s students, Elaine. “Merlin looked at her biceps and swallowed. ‘Yeah – no thanks,’ he said, with a watery grin. ‘I've got a suspicion she'd crush me like a bug.’” Mostly I just included this because I wanted to talk about the phrase, “watery grin.” I see this ALL THE TIME in fanfic and it drives me crazy. What the fuck is a “watery grin?” If your smile is “watery,” swallow your fucking spit. That’s disgusting.

“Gwen bit her lip and glanced up at them. ‘Would you hate me forever if I left you for five minutes?’ she asked. ‘I need the ladies' room. I know I should have gone before we left, but I was caught up talking, and I didn't get around to it. Can you wait for me?’ ‘Until the stars fall from the sky,’ said Lance, bowing with an elaborate flourish that made Gwen roll her eyes.”

I don’t even have a response to this bullshit.

So Gwen goes to the bathroom and Merlin does his, “hurt her and I’ll kill you,” speech to Lance and afterwards they become friends and Lance offers to be Merlin’s Academic Dad.

When Gwen comes back she is absolutely flipping her shit because she saw Arthur. “’ComeOnComeOnComeOnComeOn!’ she said in a singsong voice. ‘You should see him! He's sitting at a table! Drinking a beer!’” Yes, let’s all go and gawk at him like an animal in the zoo. Gwen and Lance are being really annoying so far.

So Merlin tells Gwen that Arthur is his roommate and that he’s an asshole. He then requests that they not go stare at him like total creepers. Gwen is not happy. “He looked at Gwen and sighed. ‘Look, I promise that you'll get to see him again. In fact I'll text you when he's in the room, so you'll know when's a good time to swing by and visit me in Sally's and meet him properly. I'm sure he'd love to pose for a photo with you, and give you his signature, and all that kind of meet'n'greet thing.’” Ok, Merlin. This shit is why Arthur already doesn’t like you. No inviting people over to stalk your roommate and make promises on his behalf. Stop it.

They all go dance and Merlin makes a fool of himself doing the hammer dance, covered in glitter, wearing DIY hammer dance pants (I don’t know) that he got from… somewhere. Arthur stares at him and Merlin falls off the stage.

Chapter 4

Merlin wonders how many other sorcerers are at St. Andrews and we learn that he is there on scholarship. Must be nice. My poor loan debt ass is going to be paying for the two years I spent in nursing school for like ten years. Cheers.

Merlin hears Gwen laughing, “He spotted her over on the other side of the room, in front of a table advertising the St Andrews Fencing Society.” Gwen? Fencing? I mean, I guess. Why not? She’ll have a lot of time on her hands when she realizes the major she’s chosen doesn’t exist at that school. Gwen is with her roommate, Sophia.

“With that thought in mind, he marched purposefully over to the rainbow-festooned table advertising the St Andrews LGBT Society in cheery glittering letters. ‘Sign me up,’ he said, firmly, grinning at a bald girl with enough silver in her various cavities to sink a small ship. ‘I'm a card-carrying friend of Dorothy, and I'm gagging for a shag.’” What a colorful way to introduce yourself, Merlin.

Merlin stops in the middle of registering for his LGBT club to fantasize about Arthur. As you do.  “’Oh, marvellous,’ said a faintly familiar voice behind him, rippling with laughter. ‘Oh, that's just perfect. Does Arthur know yet?’” The person is Morgana, “’Er...?’ he said, trying to think where he knew her from. ‘Sorry, are you talking to me?’ ‘He doesn't, does he? There'd have been even more bitching and whining if he did,’ she said, decisively. ‘Oh, this is going to be good.’” Get it? Because Arthur’s homophobia is such a hilarious joke and it’s going to be SO LAUGHABLE when he finds out his roommate is gay.

Merlin goes out for coffee with Morgana, who I do like in this fic minus her laughing at Merlin’s sexual orientation in the previous scene. Morgana asks Merlin if he is in to Arthur. “He's an insufferable, rude, arrogant, overprivileged berk, and I wouldn't suck his cock if he was the last man on earth and he was paying me, so there!” Me thinks the man doth protest too much.

“Fine. We won't talk about how much you want to get into my cousin's royal boxer shorts. So – magic!” Morgana gives no fucks. I like that about her. Merlin freaks out because you can’t just go talking about magic all willy nilly like that. Merlin insists on calling magic “macramé,” but Morgana is having none of it. They decided that their cover story for being so familiar with one another is that they have played World of Warcraft for years and are finally meeting in person. Sure. We also learn that Morgana is studying Art History. Good job, Morgana. That is also a subject that St. Andrews provides.

“’Now then – word on the street is that you might actually be worthy of that remarkable name.’ She took a long, thoughtful drag, and Merlin watched blue curls of smoke snake out of her nostrils like she was some kind of very small, elegant dragon. ‘Is it true that you changed the seasons?’ she asked. ‘No!’ Merlin said. ‘Or at least – well, not on purpose.’” Yikes, Merlin. I guess Merlin was 10 and throwing a tantrum about cherries not being in season so he changed the season from winter to summer. He also summoned a kracken when he was 12 years old on a school field trip. Poor Hunith having to deal with Merlin. He sounds like an insufferable child.

They then proceed to get drunk and Morgana becomes Merlin’s Academic Mother thingy. Merlin gets Morgana to be Gwen’s as well.

Chapter 5

Merlin gets back to his dorm and Arthur is there. Arthur apologizes to Merlin and suggests they start over. Arthur then realizes that Merlin is drunk. Merlin drunkenly tells Arthur that he is friends with Morgana and they were drinking together and that she is now Merlin’s Academic Mother. Turns out she is also Arthur’s. Who didn’t see that one coming? Arthur admits that he looked Merlin up and knows a lot of stuff about him. Merlin says stuff he shouldn’t say, basically admitting he is a sorcerer and he finds Arthur hot and Arthur doesn’t pick up on any of it. Arthur is stupid.

Merlin starts to fall asleep on the floor and Arthur can’t have that, for platonic friend reasons, and so he gets Merlin into bed and decides to help him drink water and take some pain killers. “There was an uncertain space of time, and then Merlin was being manhandled upright by someone warm and shirtless, who smelled good. Merlin knew he smelled good because he was slumped bonelessly with his nose pressed into the hollow of a freshly-washed collarbone. Because it seemed like a good idea, he licked it, and made a small appreciative sound, and then tried a gentle bite. The owner of the collarbone gave a startled hiss, and flinched away, but didn't drop him; and the voice, when it came again, was decidedly hoarse.”

See, Arthur is fucking stupid. If a friend/someone I wasn’t into randomly bit and licked my chest, drunk or not, I would be like, “yo, that’s not cool.” Because that’s not something someone does with their platonic friend.

When Merlin wakes up, “Another thought wandered idly through his brain, and he was faintly aware that it was significant: he wasn't alone. He was, in fact, wrapped around somebody else in the manner of an affectionate baby octopus, one leg tangled between theirs, one arm hooked firmly around a neat naked waist and his mouth pressed damply into the warm, soft-sharp curve of a shoulder blade.” Arthur is awake too, “Do you have any idea of how much fun and frivolity I could have been having last night, while you were busy cutting off the circulation in my limbs? I'll have you know I was going to have a fantastic evening.”

Umm… you made the choice to stay behind and spend the night cuddling your roommate, Arthur. You could have shoved him over if you wanted to.

Merlin and Arthur go get breakfast together. Merlin texts Gwen to tell her about Morgana being their Academic Mother and that she is also Arthur’s. Gwen freaks the fuck out.

That’s it for this review. It’s a decent set-up to the fic. We get to know a little bit about Merlin and how powerful he is. We also have a rough start to the Arthur/Merlin friendship but then it’s nice to see Arthur actually own up to his shit and apologize to Merlin. Arthur is stupid for not realizing how into him Merlin is. Gwen and Lance have been pretty annoying so far and if I remember correctly, they continue to be insufferable for the majority of this fic because their “will they won’t they” cliché set-up is stupid.

Until next time