#and if i speak this into existence and it actually happens

[thehollowestknight]

Historically speaking, when one of us does the thing and it ends up failing, the bad status quo continues.

Historically speaking, when the other one of us does the thing and it ends up failing (success has yet to happen, but don't worry, one of the Actually Existing Socialist States™️will push the gommunism button any day now), seven digit figures of people get massacred or starved out by the state.

I know which one I'd rather bet on.

There are other varieties of socialism out there besides Marxism, yanno. You're allowed to acknowledge they exist. I know Saint Karl is the opiate of the basement dwellers, but you don't have to pretend he's the best or even only person to ever talk about the workers.

Maybe, just maybe, sitting idly and praying for the Rapture - err, the Revolution to come isn't the be all and end all of praxis.

Listen to me. Listen to me right now. Two years from now people are going to tell you to vote for Democrats in the midterms. And you're going to shut the fuck up and do it.

[myokk]

My writing/reading question of the day:

Do you prefer present tense or past tense? Or something entirely different like future tense? For writing AND reading🫶

The more I write (I wish I realized how fun it was before this year😭😭😭) the more I realize I like to play around with language & tense choice can have such a profound impact on how your writing comes across & even how I feel as I’m writing. With my oneshots I’ve been playing around with only present tense & my main fic is past tense (but present during the flashbacks - idk don’t ask it just felt right😆).

Or does nobody else think about tense and I’m just alone in this😆😆😆 LANGUAGE IS JUST SO COOL !!!!

[shorthaltsjester]

i could talk a lot about the reasons that i think vox machina as pcs is actually a perfect insertion into the c3 narrative right now but the one that’s really sticking out to me is the diversity in the opinions on the gods that the party has and the lack of influence their individual opinions have on their commitment to save the world. because with bh they’re all pretty ambivalent or anti-god with fcg and now braius being outliers, but both of those cases are still very unique and particular ones: fcg had his cleric powers prior to his religiosity and so it was largely just about the personal meaning he found in the changebringer but he still ended up having divine exchanges with her and braius is in the fjord stone school of being a willing child of god divorce. and with those of bh who dislike the gods it’s for completely valid reasons with completely invalid application of their personal woes to a universal scale. but in vox machina we see the way that experience with people that the gods matter to beyond just the magical exchange and experience with the weight that denying the rise of a new betrayer left on the shoulders of the gods they aided. i have to say that beyond the fact that i am just fond of vox machina as a party, it is also incredibly refreshing to see people who have diverse opinions about the gods but also actually engaged with opinions (a word which here refers to taking seriously, and not using confirmation bias) beyond those of their insular party.

a while ago ashton with his insistently short sight said he’d like to see the gods pray to mortals — something they’ve always been doing and is in fact a definitive part of their established metaphysical status in exandria — and vox machina is taking on the role in the c3 narrative of proving (once again) that has been the case, but they differ from bh because where bh (as a group) tends to deny the pleas from the gods unless it already serves or proves what they’ve assumed to be true about the world and the gods, vm (as a gorup) took seriously that the gods might have something new to introduce to them. i mean that’s obvious in scanlan and vex, both of whom became champions of gods they hadn’t really even considered in a serious vein prior to speaking to them. and scanlan very much takes on the label of ioun’s champion as a job to be fulfilled in the specific battle, but with vex being pelor’s champion has more significant weight tied to whitestone becoming her home and the fact that she belongs to a community that does, very much, take seriously the symbolic and literal power of the dawn, and she admits she hadn’t really realized the people-ness of the gods themselves until she met the everlight and the dawnfather.

but from the very same community, with a more historical basis in it, we get percy, who is very much uninterested in gods, until of course he might find value in an exchange with them. or, in one of my favourite moments from percy, until he is given hope that his family still exists somewhere beyond his memory of them, even if bound in the divine books of a god that calls him out on his selfish habits. vox machina also has keyleth who is pretty anti-god, not to the degree of ‘let’s kill them’ that we’ve seen in bh, but even when facing them directly, she wasn’t subtle about how little she cares for them, especially when offset by the people that matter much more to her. vm has pike who is the spearhead of the everlight’s return to power, they have grog who fucks with the stormlord’s teachings even if he doesn’t deal with the god part all that much. there’s a multiplicity of god-to-mortal relationships in vox machina that is diverse in a way that bh certainly isn’t, and i think that allows a really interesting deepening of what’s at stake. because, of course, their focus is getting vax out of the orb, but there’s a weight they all carry regarding what happens to the world if it loses the gods, especially if the way they go is through the machinations of a ancient elven jackass.

and i mean it’s a jokey moment but i think an exchange that’s really illustrative of why it’s so nice to get vm who are certain about their stances about the gods and who don’t have to discuss the philosophical implications of their actual lived and material reality is the one between vex and keyleth where they’re discussing stopping predathos and vex jokes that ‘hey maybe predathos gets out and just eats the matron, surely that’d be fine’ and keyleth laughs with her but then they both kind of step out of that and are still committed to fighting predathos. because as keyleth emphasizes in her speech, exandria belongs to a collective, one made up of people who both hate and love the gods and though vex and keyleth both hate one god in particular, they have the awareness to treat that as their own issue, not one worth risking exandria to solve. anyway. this isn’t super well put and maybe i’ll elaborate some other time but i’ve seen a lot of people being bitter about vox machina showing up (which is their right!) but saying they’re only there in ways that detract from the narrative (i obviously disagree) so i just wanted to put into words why i think that’s wrong (though to be clear i don’t doubt that the fact that vm is cr’s personal blorbos plays a significant hand in the fact that vm showed up, they just also are succeeding (to me) at having a narrative purpose as well)

[eisforeidolon]

Question: I have two questions, one for Jensen, and one for both of you.

Jared: Okay. So no Jared question? That's fine.

Jensen: Nope.

Question: First for Jensen, I need to know the story behind this picture, please? [both walk over to look, Jensen mutters something like 'Oh, God']

Jensen: I honestly don't know the story behind that picture. I don't know A) what I'm doing, I'm like sitting in a cast chair and I'm just like pulling my shirt up [mimes the pose]. And I don't -

Jared: If you got it, flaunt it.

Jensen: I don't. Uh, I don't know, I don't know what I would have - I don't even know who took that photo. Or how it got out, but - or why. This is - um.

Jared: I think, I think, here's why -

Jensen: I might have been getting mic'd?

Jared: Yeah, probably.

Jensen: Cause they, when they wire us, when they put the microphones on us, they tape it [tapping center of his chest] to your chest - I mean, there's a few ways they can do it, sometimes they'll wire the jacket, sometimes they'll put it, if you're wearing a tie, they'll put it in the knot of the tie. If you've got a sharp eye, sometimes you can see 'em. But most of the time they'll just tape it to your chest and then the wire kind of goes [gestures down his chest and around to his back] around [points downward] sometimes it goes to an ankle pack, sometimes it clips onto the back of your belt. Anyway. I was probably just going like, [gestures as if pulling up his shirt] okay, wire me. And the person who wires has to put up with that kind of - the shenanigans that we do when we're like [does the fake laugh thing, and shakes back and forth].

Jared: Also, in fairness, I think that was like season one or two? And so twenty years ago, we didn't realize, we were slow, we were not the generation where everything you do lasts forever? And so it's like [fake laugh, pops hip, makes fart noise] Ahh, I'm farting, and it exists twenty fucking years later, so. Naivety on both of our parts, I think.

Jensen: So I don't know if that answers your question, but that's the best I can come up with, so. What was the other question that he might help with anyway?

Question: Both of you, do you feel any pressure from the fans to show that you're still close friends? When you search on Google 'Jensen and Jared' there is the first question that pops there is 'Are they still friends?'. And whatever happens between you two, people just watching, waiting, like are you still close or not -

Jared: So I think, so -

Question: You have this pressure to show that you're still close -

Jensen: It's exhausting.

Jared: [grabs his shoulder] Wow.

Jensen: I'm so glad you brought this up. [turns to Jared] I am, I am exhausted pretending to be your friend -

Jared: That's actually my, that's actually my question that I put into the Google search. I'm like -

Jensen: [cracks up] I haven't heard from him in weeks!

Jared: I haven't heard from Jensen in two days [mimics typing] are they still friends? Does he still like me, circle yes or no? [Jensen cracks up more] I don't feel - I'll speak for myself - I don't feel any pressure to [finger quotes] prove that I'm friends with Jensen or my br- or anybody, you know what I mean? Like, life - we have lives, and we live in different states and, like, if I see him every day for a month, great! If I don't see him for seven months, great! Like if he's good or needs something, or I need something - but yeah, I do find that question funny. And I think it's also, I think it's like, from, was it French Mistake, or? It was like, episode, yeah I did see something online where they're like, 'oh, they're talking'. It's French Mistake.

Jensen: Oh! Yeah yeah yeah.

Jared: And then it became a thing, where they were like -

Jensen: Oh, is that real? Do [they?] not like each other? Yeah.

Jared: We also fucking - I have an alpaca! [Jensen cracks up again] Like, no one hinged on that, like does Jared really have a picture of himself in Warhol style and his wife and a tanning bed and an alpaca at his house? Like no, I don't.

Jensen: You're not far off, though. [laughs]

Jared: Close, close. Got one out of four.

Jensen: Yeah, no. I think there's also - [points at Jared] you kind of touched on it a little bit. You know, I think anybody who can just see us together whether we're onstage or whether we're back stage? Can tell that there's a, you know, legit love for each other. And always will be. Whether - like he said - whether we see each other every day for six weeks or whether we go six weeks without seeing each other. Or without even, like, checking in. Which, we usually text back and forth and stuff, just, you know, about hey, what d'you think - what're you doing with this, or hey I need to ask you a question -

Jared: We have a Wordle text thread.

Jensen: [they talk over each other here, so this next is approximate] Yeah, we Wordle each other every day. Um, so, that would be pretty, again, pretty exhausting to keep that [finger quotes] facade up, if it was a facade and it's not.

[jokeroutsubs]

[ENG SUB] Joker Out on Slušaj 'vamo, Radio Beograd 202 (31.10.2024)

Joker Out was interviewed by Radio Beograd 202 during their programme Slušaj 'vamo ('Listen here'). The interview was screenrecorded from their website.

Transcript by @moonlvster, IG irenalemajic, translation by @moonlvster, review by IG marija_rocen, proofread by X klámstrákur, subtitles by @vesdagrem

Full video and transcript below the cut 👇

Transcript:

Host: That was the band Turisti. There, we visited Rijeka briefly. I love the show 'Slušaj 'vamo' ('Listen Here'), especially when we travel around the Balkans or Serbia. Currently we're travelling around the Balkans, actually the Balkans came to us. Welcome, guys, the band is Joker Out.

Bojan: Thank you. Happy to be here.

Welcome to the Beograd 202 studio for the second time. You're all free to answer, we'll see who will speak later. We have the entire team here, all five of them. Bojan was the loudest here – obviously you have to show who the frontman is - then we have Kris, Nace, Jure and...

Bojan: And...

Jan: Jan.

Jan, yes. Bojan and Jan, great, excellent. Next we should have 'An'.

Bojan: And 'N'.

Last time we chatted - actually, when we talked over the phone, Bojan, that was sometime before you came to Belgrade - it was, I think, before you played at Arsenal Festival. So many things have changed in the meantime. Who could've thought?

Bojan: Yes. A lot of things have happened since we talked, but this album, which will come out in November, we already started working on it back then, at least mentally.

Yes, and we were announcing your concerts, and we had this question. You knew people here love you, you knew they couldn't wait to see you, but I know you couldn't expect that kind of reaction. Not at Dom omladine, not at Arsenal Fest. I mean, I was there, so I know what I'm talking about.

Bojan can answer, the rest of you can also join in, how did it all seem to you?

With all of those toys and everything that flew onto the stage and so on, the euphoria.

Bojan: I mean, the concerts at Dom omladine and Fabrika in Novi Sad were truly phenomenal, but at Arsenal Fest we got a kind of, let's say, a prediction of what we can expect - but that was something more, when it's your own concert and specifically in that kind of intimate space, you can really feel the people who are there and... there were many things that flew onto the stage, but I think we gave it our all from the stage, so that was some kind of 'you get what you give' love.

And somebody- do you have the impression that everything happened kind of quickly, I mean, in comparison to Eurovision? I'm not talking about what happened before that, you have your history before Eurovision, but you're kind of new to people. It's inevitable, when somebody takes a leap they say: "Oh, they're new", but you have 10 years behind you. That's a long story. This past year and a bit more has felt like you have - that it went really quickly.

Bojan: Well, it has, I think that in the past year and a half, 10 years have passed, really. So many things happened that we haven't experienced in the 8 years we've existed, and just today we were joking that when we celebrate our 10th anniversary, we come to Serbia and say like: "We're celebrating two and a half years since you met us."

You know what they say you were lucky. Lots of bands here only become popular on their farewell tours. All around our area, I'm not just talking about Serbia, it happens everywhere. We take in new bands slowly, but when they do, it's long-term love, you know? It's like that in your case.

Bojan: Well, I hope so.

Who's next? Does anyone want to add anything? Come on, Kris, for example?

Kris: Well, Bojan already said everything.

Did he?

Kris: Bojan already said everything.

I'll ask you this, so, last year, when you sold out Dom omladine - and Arsenal went well too - that was your prime time, which is always kind of a risk: you don't know how it'll go when you step onto the stage. Now that you're coming here for the second time, did you have the feeling that, ah, we have to repeat that and success and do even more now?

Kris: Well, I think we didn't, and I think we confirmed that later, considering the fact that Dom omladine - that tickets for Dom omladine sold out in a few hours.

But you didn't know they would sell out in a few hours when you scheduled it.

Kris: Well, we didn't know, but we knew.

But you hoped so?

Bojan: Kris knew.

Nace: Kris knew.

Kris: We assumed. And it's always like that, I mean, we knew that we wanted to go smaller than we realistically could, because we wanted it to be like... For the third album, we wanted a gig that's more intimate and for the biggest fans, so from that perspective we kind of knew they'd sell out fast, but we were still surprised by how fast it sold out again.

Bojan: We couldn't decide between Belgrade Arena¹ and Dom omladine.

Dom omladine is ten times better - for example, you know what, Johnny Štulić² was there 7 times a long time ago, at Kulušić. To this day fairytales are told about the seven concerts at Kulušić.

Bojan: Yes, right.

And second, you have those dedicated fans who will come to all seven concerts.

Bojan: True.

Can we listen to 'Bluza' now? That's your new song.

Bojan: Let's listen to 'Bluza'.

Is this your latest song? A new single, announcing the new album.

Nace: It is.

Bojan: Well...

That is, your latest single.

Bojan: It's our latest single,but something interesting about 'Bluza' and 'Šta bih ja', those are the two songs we managed to prepare in London in January and February. We played them on our European tour, before they came out. And really, during our European tour everyone already sang those two songs, so when 'Bluza' came out, it was already old news.

Okay, let's hear this old song, that's actually still new.

[Bluza cut]

This was a song called 'Bluza', the latest single from Joker Out, yes, yes, they're those Slovenian boys. If anybody is maybe wondering if they are, yes, they are. We've heard from Bojan, we've heard from Kris, little by little we'll hear from the rest. Come on, can we hear something from Jure, Nace, Jan, come on. A "good evening", even if you say it one by one.

Nace: Good evening.

Jan: Good evening, Belgrade, how's it going?

Are you excited for the concerts in Belgrade and Novi Sad?

Bojan: Come on, Janči. Are you excited?

Are you excited for the concerts in Belgrade and Novi Sad?

Jan: Yeah, every time we've been here, the concerts were phenomenal, the audience was on fire and I hope it will be the same at the next one.

Bojan: On fire.

Well, do your best, they'vealready bought the tickets in advance, so they expect it to be exactly... Will there be an additional concert? Probably...

Bojan: There won't.

No?

Kris: The additional concert is the day before, in Novi Sad.

Bojan: Yes.

Anybody who didn't get tickets on time, come to Novi Sad.

Bojan: True, we haven't sold out Novi Sad yet, so we have to... We have to...

Hey, we haven't told them the dates yet.

Bojan: Ah, yes. The 26th of November in Novi Sad, Fabrika. The 27th of November in Belgrade, Dom omladine. And come on the 26th if you still haven't bought the tickets.

Even if you have bought a ticket, come on the 26th, why not.

Bojan: Come.

You have fans, people who follow Eurovision, Eurovision obviously has its fans, it's faithful electorate, as you'd say in political jargon. Do European fans follow you, do they come to your concerts when you're in the Balkans or only when it's near them?

Bojan: No, people come to our concerts from literally all over Europe, and even further. When we had a concert at Stožice Arena, I think people bought the tickets from...

Kris: 34 countries.

Bojan: There you go, the tickets for our concert in Stožice were sold in 34 countries. And... often it happens to us that somebody is, says: "I came from Texas", or something. In Koper in Slovenia, a girl - actually, two or three girls - told us they came from Texas on the day of the concert and they went back home the next day, like...

Nace: To Ljubljana from Tokyo.

Bojan: Oh, to Ljubljana from Tokyo, right.

Jan: To the Netherlands from Malaysia.

Metallica did that thing, you know, they had a meet and greet...

Bojan: Yes.

...but they randomly picked fans, and they didn't look at where the fans are from, so there were times when they picked someone from the US, where they are from, to come to their concert at Partizan Stadium (Belgrade), and after that they hang out with them, so people came. So, think about it, it's not a bad idea, they're even founding their own agency to drive fans to concerts.

Bojan: Great.

There you go.

Bojan: We can become a travel agency, when we get bored of the band.

Here, Joker Out. You mentioned Stožice Arena, is that where you recorded the album, the live one, or?

Bojan: It is, it is.

Ah, so that was it, that was that opportunity. So, featuring all the guests from abroad,from all over the world.

Bojan: That's right. We heard voices from all over the world on that album.

Two albums, a live album right away. Well, nice, considering the kind of fanbase you have, that was... It was kind of a logical next step, to... That's the only arena we have in our country, and it seemed to us that after all these concerts we've done, and after Eurovision, which changed everything, that we should have one live concert in that arena. Like, so we can be completely sure it happened, since when you're on stage, I know that at Stožice we weren't 100% present, so it's nice to have some kind of... a vinyl to play on a record player and say: "Hey, we were actually there."

I can't wait for us to see that vinyl and play it on our record player, we still play...

Bojan: You'll receive one, we promise.

...songs on a record player. I don't know if they still use gramophones for the radio in Slovenia.

Bojan: They do.

They do? There we go, we can play a bit of it too. When you said you have one arena in the country, so you played at that one, I can say, when you add up all of the arenas of the former Yugoslavia, there's a lot of them, so you filled one, now you can fill the rest...

Bojan: Let's go!

Let's go, Zagreb Arena, Belgrade Arena, Spaladium Arena (Split), and so on, so, who knows.

Bojan: We hope so. Maybe we'll celebrate our tenth anniversary in arenas.

Yes, yes, in arenas... stadium concerts and arena concerts.

Bojan: Exactly.

Kris: You mean our two and a half year anniversary?

Bojan: Two and a half.

Two and a half for our region! When will the new album come out? There's these two singles so...

Bojan: The album comes out on the 15th of November.

So, right before the concert.

Bojan: Yes, I mean, we're used to our audience not needing more than a few hours to learn an hour and a half's worth of lyrics. So for the whole album, we said that 7 days is more than enough time until the start of the tour, so yeah.

Well, they catch something you play live and then learn it.

Bojan: Everything, everything.

Yeah? Great. What are your plans for when these concerts are over, the album is out, you'll do these concerts practically alongside the album, usually there's a tour when an album comes out, so what's your plan for the future?

Bojan: Well, this album will have a smaller tour. We're starting in Ljubljana on the 22nd and 23rd of November, then we're in Novi Sad and Belgrade, Skopje on the 1st of December, Zagreb on the 3rd of December, on the 6th we're in Maribor and on the 9th we're closing the mini-tour in Vienna. And honestly, that's about it until the end of the year for us, we'll probably do a concert or two, but nothing spectacular... And in January and February, a holiday awaits us.

Really?

Bojan: After two years, we're gonna have our first real holiday.

Somewhere in the Alps probably, or something like that?

Bojan: No, I think we're going to the seaside!

Seaside, seaside.

Bojan: The boys are going to Thailand, so, there, for the first time after a while, for 2 months we won't think about some, our next project. And afterwards we're returning to Europe, we're returning to the Balkans, we'll perform some more. And also create, I hope.

Now, are the fans who followed you during Eurovision still your fans or not? I mean, do you still plan to have someconcerts around Europe, for example?

Bojan: Of course, of course. Next year...

But not for the Balkan diaspora there, you know how it goes.

Bojan: We never performed, it's interesting, at our concerts in Europe, and we've had a good amount of them this year and a half, we've had 5 tours, I think, altogether... the Balkan diaspora actually doesn't attend our concerts, which saddens me a little. I'd prefer it if, I mean, I wouldn't prefer it, I'd love to see more Balkan people at our concerts, but we're not a part of that Yugo-nostalgic generation and the generation that moved out of the Balkans. We are their kids' generation, but that part of our culture probably doesn't get to them, so we actually don't perform for the Balkan diaspora. But, if you do listen to us and are part of the Balkan diaspora, come, please.

Yes, one by one, you'll gather them slowly. First, you'll have concerts for those who are from the places you visit, and then next time you'll have a tour only for the Balkan diaspora.

Bojan: Only the Balkan diaspora!

You know what I'm interested in... I've asked some other artists the same thing. What was that moment where you felt like... like it's going somewhere? Eurovision happened, you got there, suddenly there was a hype around you here and I can simply remember that moment when you appeared in the competition. I'm wondering when you felt that this is going somewhere and that you're getting on that train and...

Bojan: Here, Nace answered.

Nace: The gig in Dublin!

Kris: That was our first gig in... Our first real solo gig abroad. But yeah, for three years I've felt like we've been catching this train. Now is the moment when you should catch... In Slovenian, we say, "Kuj železo dokler je vroče" ('strike while the iron is hot').

Yes, yes, yes, "Gvožđe se kuje dok je vruće" ('strike while the iron is hot').

Kris: Exactly! I've had the feeling for 3 years already, and it all began with our first album showcase in... 2021, in Ljubljana, in Cvetličarna, we picked it right now as our moment where we knew that this was something that will... be our profession for the next few years, maybe our whole lives.

Maybe your whole lives! Do you know how many artists thought they'd last 10, 12, 13 years, but in the end, they celebrated their 30 year anniversaries?

Bojan: Yeah, yesterday we met Novi fosili, who are celebrating 55 years of their band and...

Tonight and tomorrow YU Grupa, who will soon have their 55th anniversary, are performing in MTS Dvorana, so...

Bojan: Exactly, those stories exist, I mean.

They're real!

Bojan: They're real, and we received some nice words, he told us... (laughter) Well, not those words! (laughter)

Don't keep it to yourselves, come on, say what you wanted to say!

Bojan: No, well, okay, we received some nice words that we should continue making music and that we have the best job in the world. That we truly, when we go to work, we hang out, make new connections, create new things, and that this is something that can last forever, so...

The thing you said, "When we go to work..." That's what I think of my job. They say if you want to not just work your whole life, but also enjoy [it], pick a job you love. So, guys, I wish for you to have this job for decades, even!

Joker Out: Thank you! You too!

Whether I'll be here, I don't know, but come here after 20 years, even. Here, it's like we knew 'Carpe Diem' is up!

Bojan: 'Carpe' is up!

Right, it fits right in. Shall we?

Bojan: Let's go. By chance!

Thank you so much, thank you for going around Belgrade for the whole day today and still finding time  to come visit us in a good mood.

Bojan: Thank you for finding the time and for inviting us.

And we'll see each other soon, I hope!

Kris: Thank you.

We'll surely meet at your concerts, I'm not completely sure about Novi Sad, but in Belgrade I'll be on the balcony.

Bojan: With the high-speed train it's 30 minutes, easy peasy.

I know already. So, see you, bye!

Kris: Thank you.

[mysteriousbp]

Can Kanako dream any of Clover's memories before climbing the mountain, and if not, what is stopping her.

She can. It just happens more rarely because of how many previous runs there are because of Flowey.

Unlike the underground memories, the memories from the surface before falling to the underground aren't in any order, and they just appear in random orders. This is because the underground memories are heavily affected by the saves and resets. Since they are memories from timelines that no longer exist. So it's like the universe trying to replay those events, but they just stock in the minds of the people that remember them. It's like a tape that needs to end before it can be rewinded.

Since the memories of the surface aren't affected by the weird power of saves, the memories are more memory-like, rather than an actual retelling of the events. So Kanako can actually do the things that she wants rather than being forced to repeat Clover's old actions.

Here's Kanako dreaming one of Clover's oldest memories.

The weirdest way to "meet" your adopted brother's birth mother.

Speaking of it. Here's her since I brought her up.

Yeah... I'm not doing the abusive parents thing. The bad stuff comes from the orphanage in my AU.

But since I mentioned that, I will give my opinion on the idea.

In my opinion. In canon. From what we see in the game. I don't think Clover had an abusive mother. Father probably. But I don't think Clover had an abusive mother because of how he acts around Ceroba.

Clover just seems to know how to calm down Ceroba with simple gestures. I think Clover's birthmother may have had a short fuse like Ceroba. But her anger was never towards Clover. And Clover was the only thing that could calm her down. That's why Clover is so good at calming someone down. I just think she is just out of the picture by the time that Undertale Yellow happens. But it's just my opinion with what happens in the game.

[irisbleufic]

@eidetictelekinetic, I'd like to follow up on something we keep discussing in comment threads to my Devil's Minion stories, because I've found the paper trail in my archives. There's indeed something I wrote as an undergraduate ca. 2005 that I had forgotten about that underpins a common theme (namely: Daniel and Armand wondering what might've happened if they'd met when they were young in Armand's time and place, when he was still mortal) periodically haunting the dialogue across my various unconnected stories. I'm somewhat in disbelief that I can prove this exists, and I needed a spark of joy like this in an otherwise bleak, snowed-out week.

This is a ghost story in that the work I'm discussing here was written under my deadname, but I don't tend to shy from people knowing it. Still, it's times like this when pieces resurface that I realize I block facets of my former self so thoroughly at times that I do my writing history a disservice. This felt like knocking down a wall, and I'm really startled at what's sitting covered in dust on the other side. Mindfuck your characters long enough and you might even mindfuck yourself.

In the spring of my senior year at Wellesley, I took a poetry seminar with Frank Bidart. He didn't like my work much, which was a source of amusement to me; if somebody doesn't like my writing, I just dig in and crank up the annoyance factor by being even more myself. The number of professors and editors that I've gone out of my way to irritate in my higher ed and writing careers is vaguely embarrassing at this point, but that's another story for another time.

At the same time as I was in this poetry seminar, I had also overloaded my schedule with Medieval literature seminars. I'd done that for about four consecutive semesters, actually. The Early Modern and Medieval course offerings at Wellesley, at least at that time, were so numerous that you really could do about two years solid of nothing but that type of coursework. I was fluent in French at the time, so I was able to pull some unhinged shit like reading La Chanson de Roland in Anglo-Norman with minimal dictionary assistance while reading it in English in one of the courses, and then I started haunting the used bookstores in Harvard Square and digging up volumes of lesser known Anglo-Norman ballads and fragments, and there was this one book that focused on early surviving trobairitz poetry, songs by women from that period. There was one fragment that really, really haunted me. I don't know if I still have the book, that's the one piece in the documentation chain I'm still hunting down, but I have my translation of that fragment because I found the poem I wrote around my translation. That poem got published twice after I graduated; that publication history is neat in its own right.

So, the poem I wrote for the seminar is really the thing I want to talk about here. I had this short 10th-11th century trobairitz ballad fragment that I translated out of Anglo-Norman, and I was very excited about it, because it was very gay. I thought, hmmm, I'll write a narrative poem about a couple of nobodies set in that time period. Who are my nobodies? I'm picturing teenagers, just a couple of boys. They can't be more than sixteen or seventeen. Where are they? I'm also taking a class on crusader states at this point in time, and I'm extremely interested in various cultural migrations in and out of Italy and Spain (the good, the bad, and the ugly). So I just go, okay, I'll have them fleeing a noble household in Italy, heading for Spain. My head's entrenched in those places thanks to a history class; it gives me something to hang onto as geographical starting and endpoints. Why are they running away? Kid attached to the noble household has fallen in love with a stonemason's apprentice from somewhere a lot further abroad; they don't speak the same language, but since when has that stopped people from falling in love? Stonemason's apprentice wants to save the kid in a bad situation in the noble household, get him out of there. Yeah, let's do that. And I'll cover just the journey, not what happens before they leave or after. And I'll show what they run into along the way, and they'll hear someone perform that piece of the song, and one of them is able to translate it for the other as they gradually learn enough pieces of common languages to communicate with each other.

This poem was never going to be long; the poems in our portfolios for this class couldn't be long. The concept work behind it was much longer than the poem itself, as was the work I put into the fragment translation. This kind of storytelling in lieu of confessional poetry was going to annoy my professor. I knew exactly what I was doing with all of this: satisfying a storytelling itch, letting myself practice translation, being the inveterate fandom writer I already was by that point, just being generally obnoxious in my early 20s. It's a living.

I wrote the poem. It got workshopped in class; classmates loved it, Frank made faces and was barely polite about it. The written feedback in it on my final portfolio called it "pseudo-medieval pastiche," and I was so happy I could've framed that shit. I put the poem away for a few years and didn't think about it. I moved to the UK and started an MA program in Medieval Studies. My poems started getting published in SF/F/Spec publications. In 2009, I learned about a call for poems for a 10th anniversary special issue of a magazine called Mythic Delirium, and something about the themed call made me remember my pain-in-the-ass, labor-of-love portfolio poem, which was called "Journeying." I submitted it.

"Journeying" was published in Mythic Delirium Issue #20, which, (in)famously, also first featured a poem by the now-disgraced Neil Gaiman called "Conjunctions." If I'm honest, it's bizarre to have that as a major point of memory in this poem's first printing. Here's how "Journeying" looks in that issue of the magazine:

The italicized portion at the end is my translation of the trobairitz ballad. It's all that survives of one particular song that happened to be written down. It always amazes me that so few lines can express so much longing across so many centuries.

Flash forward a few more years to when I learn about Erzebet YellowBoy's brilliant Papaveria Press hand-stitched limited artbook editions of poems. One of my oldest friends, Paige (@dreambreathing) and I decide to collaborate as we've done so many times before: they did a set of two watercolor illustrations for the poem conceived as a fold-out frontispiece and backplate, and we pitched it as an artbook. Papaveria said yes. In 2012, "Journeying" was released as an edition of 18 of these little books:

You never see the boys on the road or under the tree overlooking those ruins (those ruins, those fucking ruins, I forgot) until you pan in. Don't get distracted. Look closer. Imagine me, @eidetictelekinetic, getting more and more spooked every time we talk about this recurring thing in the dialogue I'm writing across stories. Why am I doing this? Why is it familiar? And by the time we get to "Guard Your Heart," why do I have the feeling it's hit peak hilarity by the time Daniel's looking at those Talamasca photographs?

This is an awfully long punch line, but it's here. I wrote it, some version of it, some version of them, in another life. And for me it was another life, too, a life with the name of a girl I now barely recognize. Who is Adrienne? I know that Adrienne wrote this poem, but I no longer know her as well as I would like. However, I do know that she gave up almost everything she had to give me what I have now, and I'm the writer that I am because of her. I carry these characters with me because of her; she's the one who first read them.

(Also, here's another shout-out to @dreambreathing not just for being one of my best friends through all of this and one of the most talented artists I've ever known, but also for being the namesake of my current biggest troublemaker in Caldera. Love you, Paige.)

[caughtthedarkness93]

I know I’m not alone when I say the news I’m hearing isn’t the news I wanted to hear today. I basically unwillingly pulled an all-nighter because of how keyed up I was with anxiety. I hate these results. I’m stunned by the them. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a worse campaign than the one Donald Trump ran. And he won. He fucking won. Didn’t even lose the popular vote. Election Nostradamus was wrong. The thing I’ve been afraid of for the last year actually happened.

I���m gonna be honest. It scares the hell out of me. But I’ve got two thoughts that I think I need to get out. Might as well do so here.

First thing: put down your phone. Don’t read the news. The temptation to read analyses and breakdowns and what happens next type news is real. I know that. I feel it too. But marinating in this isn’t gonna be good for us. It is what it is. I hate it too. Spending every waking moment thinking about Project 2025 and Trump’s threats and all that garbage is just going to make you feel bad. If you already feel bad, you don’t want to feel worse. The first thing you need to do is take care of yourself.

Second thing: Live. Be kind. Be compassionate. Support your community. Be loving to the people you love. Be loving towards strangers. And keep fighting. This is a pretty fucking bad setback. But it’s not defeat unless we allow it to be. You know what is defeat? Despair and fatalism. Defeatism. The greatest loss is surrendering to despair.

I know it’s hard right now. The best thing you can do is be compassionate to yourself and be compassionate to others. There’s gonna be a lot of vile hatred spit towards the most vulnerable among us in the coming days. We must demonstrate to those people that we love them more than others hate them.

Today, we are alive. Today we exist. Perhaps in some way that is its own act of rebellion. I hate that it must be, but so be it. Keep existing. And keep doing what you can do to leave the world better for your presence in it. Make art. Speak out. Love. Do not let this take those things away from you. For that is how they truly win.

[mikimakiboo]

I was wondering if you were doing anything for/with the apple incident. Since it would be like, a clarifying moment for the guys in the tt gang. Like that’s why he’s jumpy and scared all the time. That’s why he was so rude and scared. That’s why he stopped talking to them, he thought they would be aggressive and violent. The servants could think he was cursed by the devil, or a witch or smth. Till it reached a high note, then him and Dream slowly reconciled and reconnect. Then night just starts pouring his soul out with him bc he’s so lonely and scared.

My time to shine and ramblllleeeeeee

Btw since you asked something about my AU just assume I'm in love with you, okay ? I'm your wife now /jk

As you can imagine the answer will contain spoilers regarding Nightmare's backstory SO I'm putting it under the cut :D

So regarding the apple incident, whenever I make AUs including Nightmare he is always corrupted, however the tree of feelings doesn't always fit the narrative, like in Time Travelers AU where Nightmare was born and lives as a noble in the 17th century and not 500 years ago as a guardian

So since there isn't any tree of feelings there isn't any apples either so there technically can't be an apple incident

So that's when the second scenario comes in handy: magic overdose :D

Basically at the age of six Nightmare's magic starts to grow a little too much, he would often choke on a black goop that would form in his soul and go in his throat for him to throw up, and it's a long and painful transformation, I'm talking about years here, from his six years old to his ten years old his magic would slowly overwhelm his soul more and more, come out of the joints, mouth, nose, eyesockets, he would choke and develop quite severe chronic pains until he's eventually covered in goop just like his original corrupted self

One good thing with that scenario is that it allows me to give him a softer personality as he wasn't exactly corrupted, his magic just got messed up, but he's still the same person as his passive self

Now, as Nightmare is living in a very religious time, everyone thought that his messed up magic and black goop was due to some demon possession or that he was cursed by either God, Satan, or any other divine force, and so Nightmare had to go through a lot of exorcisms, lots of different covens but of course none of it worked

He was always insulted and looked down upon as he was seen like a curse by himself: his father died young (when Dream and him were babies), his mother died young too (when they were young adult) and everyone blamed him and his mere existence for it and every other bad thing that happened to other people he ever talked to or looked their way

His own mother, Nim, was part of the people insulting him, by telling him that he was her biggest failure and she should have left him in a coven if only Dream didn't insist so much to keep him

So yeah Nightmare doesn't really think very high of himself and is fully focused on being as good as he can so hopefully people won't see him as a curse anymore

Dream was actually the only one to never turn his back on him, even when they were in different covens/schools (nobles were placed in special schools from 10yo to 18yo, very strict, they had to speak Latin too so that's why Nightmare is fluent) he would always send him letters, so their relationship never got too bad, Nightmare did have a period when he didn't respond to the letters but he never felt resentment or anything toward his twin because he was actually his only friend, so when they were back home together when they got out at 18 they actually became even closer because Dream was really the only one who would listen to him and genuinely love him

So yeah the two brothers are inseparable and rely very much on each other, Nightmare tells everything to Dream and Dream also talks about anything and everything with Nightmare

Now regarding the tt gang, when they learnt about the backstory they did assemble some pieces regarding Nightmare's behavior

Because his obsession with being perfect and not mixing with them, hardly talking to them and keeping his perfect noble image is actually trauma response after years of being talked down and seen as God's mistake, so now he has to appear perfect at all time so he won't have troubles anymore without realizing that this image hurts him too as he bottles up everything he feels and do not act like himself AT ALL

So yeah the backtory do make them understand his behavior better and they do feel very bad for him because obviously it wasn't his fault, he was only a child who should have gone to the doctor to have some magic drained out instead of being exorcized every two days and treated like shit

They'll eventually work through the trauma together

Hope that answers your question :D

[ko-existing]

Slow Cooker

by Being_is_IT / Twitter

Question: "When I first started reading your articles last year, I couldn’t understand them, but I still wanted to keep reading, even though it felt a bit strange. I would focus intently on each article, occasionally feeling grateful to you. Recently, though, something very strange has been happening. When I see certain posts online, I can intuitively sense who might be speaking about their teacher in a way that sounds like you. When this happens, I get goosebumps and tears well up because I feel like you’re my teacher."

Answer: "Your true teacher is the infinite self. Even the impression of 'BEINGIS' appears within your own consciousness. Without your consciousness, how could the impression of 'BEINGIS' exist? If it weren't for the effects of your own energy conjuring this illusion, how would you be able to read such articles?

I suggest you keep reading my articles, regardless of whether you understand them. Although they may seem incomprehensible to your conscious mind, your infinite self inherently understands. What I've written is actually your own infinite self speaking to you; it’s not truly an external 'BEINGIS' telling you anything. Keep reading, and at some point, you may experience an inexplicable transcendence, an "aha" moment when understanding suddenly dawns.

It’s like placing yourself in a slow cooker; even if you aren’t 'cooked' at first, you’ll eventually 'soften.'"

[ikamigami]

You're absolutely right!

It's normal to mistake someone for someone you just lost when they look, speak and have the same mannerism but without trauma baggage..

And also it wasn't the first time Sun saw Moon not remembering him or anything - when Lunar took over Moon for the first time..

Yeah QwQ

Like it definitely sucks that Nexus felt like he had to be Moon.. but at the same time he wasn't actually forced to be Moon..

Cause since the beginning Nexus was calling Moon awful names because he abused Sun.. not even caring how it all makes Sun feel..

And later when Sun tried to do something to protect Nexus - being conduit for star's power - because Nexus started existing not so long ago and yet he immediately started taking care of everything while Sun was doing nothing..

Nexus never asked why Sun did that.. he never asked why Sun isn't mad at Moon despite the abuse..

Nexus just assumed shit about Sun and ran with it..

Good example is when Sun called Nexus to check on him and where he is after Nexus didn't come back for awhile after yelling at him for star power thing..

And what Nexus did? He was mad at Sun for getting kidnapped because he had to go to look for Nexus instead of give him space like he wanted.. when that's not what Sun was trying to do..

And ofc later when Nexus was so mad at Sun still refusing to listen to him when he rescued him from Ruin..

All these instances Nexus acted exactly like Moon..

And how it was supposed to make Sun feel?

But Sun ofc after family therapy where Earth was basically speaking for Sun realized that it's better to never talk about the past or his own feelings to Nexus because he'll start yelling and won't listen..

And later ofc Nexus just continued to push Sun away and neglect him as well.. acting even more like Moon with all these insults and mean jokes and getting angry fairly easily..

And ofc he apologized and bought Sun a house, right?

But he still left Sun alone.. and when Solar died Nexus himself wanted to bring him back.. so I don't get it where it came from that the family wanted Solar back as if Nexus didn't but was forced to do so..

But Sun was there for Nexus when he was in despair and he took care of him.. and he still felt bad that he didn't push Nexus to open up more..

"But Sun left Nexus alone to work on bringing back Solar"

But oh well it's not like Nexus wasn't the one who wanted to be alone previously when he was in emotional state..

It's not like Sun could help with bringing Solar back when Nexus constantly was reminding him that he's stupid and it'd be better if he didn't bother..

And also it's not like Sun could talk with Nexus with grieving when the latter wanted Sun to move on from Moon's death..

And how would Nexus react if Sun even just slipped up and said "I know how it is to lose someone you care about"..

He'd probably start yelling that Sun has to bring Moon now when he's grieving after Solar's death and that Sun wants Moon back because Nexus couldn't protect Solar..

I can imagine that that's what would happen..

Nexus unintentionally created heavy atmosphere between him and Sun.. because he didn't let Sun just not only grief after Moon's death but also heal from Moon's abuse which Sun was in denial of for till he had that talk with Jack..

Only then Sun realized that Moon was indeed toxic.. so this is exactly how much Nexus helped Sun that Sun wasn't even aware that the abuse he went through because of Moon was bad..

I don't want to say that Earth is at fault when she at least tried to do something.. she tried to support Sun and talk with him about stuff..

But well the one Sun spend the most time and also wanted to spend this time with was Nexus.. and Nexus really didn't care how Sun felt in all of this..

Nexus only cared about how all of this was affecting him and him only..

Which is exactly what Moon used to do QwQ

And I absolutely agree that Nexus was selfish.. and the more selfish he was the more he acted like Creator who is the embodiment of selfishness..

I was also laughing at what he was saying but some fans are just ughh

But whatever I don't want to focus too much about what other fans say..

I just wanted to get this rant off my chest bxnxnnxnxnxn

TW RANT - I may come off as rude here so I'm sorry in advance but people being too mad at Sun for everything that happened to Nexus just start to annoy me a bit especially when they act as if Sun basically abused Nexus

Sun doesn't need any excuses for how things were with him and Nexus at the beginning cause for what reason?

Sun never compared Nexus to Moon..

Nexus felt this way but if he cared to listen to Sun he'd understand that he was mistaken..

Because all Sun tried to say is that he doesn't want Nexus to do everything by himself while he's sitting there doing nothing just like it was with Moon..

Because at the time when Sun decided to be conduit for star's power Nexus was already taking care of everything by himself while Sun was doing nothing..

Just like it was with Moon..

It wasn't okay for Sun to lie but it wasn't okay for Nexus to yell his head of at Sun and refuse to listen to him and refuse to understand why Sun did what he did..

I wish to say something about people who defend early Nexus but I'll refrain myself cause I don't want to start any drama..

"nothing can excuse Sun for mistreating Nexus" it's a hella weird hill to die on..

Because what mistreating? The one Nexus made up in his head? And he never even cared to communicate with Sun and by that I mean that he also let Sun speak up and only yell "Me, myself and I" because that's not how communication works..

And what excuse? What y'all on about?

Sun apologized every time for when Nexus expressed being hurt..

But Nexus didn't care..

Or oh wait no.. Nexus just is too much of a coward to admit that he was afraid that Sun will die..

Why he never try to talk with Sun about anything..

Because he was a coward..

And now he chose hate.. because hating is easier..

The only wrong thing that Sun did was that he lied to Nexus.. but ofc is so good to held one mistake over someone's head forever, right?

As if Nexus never did any mistakes..

And ofc Nexus was worried about Sun well-being but he also actively pushed him away and was neglectful towards him..

But no one cares how it made Sun feel because apparently only poor Nexus' feelings are the most important thing..

[taintedcigs]

i am his controversially young gf (real)

[the-ships-to-rule-them-all]

the level at which people are misusing the term "Never Again" in the far left absolutely infuriates me.

"Never Again" doesn't refer to the idea of no more genocides -- unfortunately people are evil and corrupt and seek scapegoats and destruction, there were genocides in the years following the Holocaust, there were genocides 10 years ago, there are multiple genocides going on as we speak

"Never Again" means we as Jews will pay attention to the warning signs, will not mindlessly allow antisemitism to fester and take over our communities, we will fight back. it means we will be proud. it means we will not let you hate us without a word of refusal.

"Never Again" is a warning for us, it is a reminder that what happened then can happen now -- is happening now. The Far Left doesn't get to use it against us. You don't get to turn our tragedies into hate-speech and antisemitic rhetoric.

Am Yisrael Chai

[antianakin]

You are ABSOLUTELY not alone in that sentiment! At the very least you've got me, too! It definitely makes the most sense for the clones to look around as they are learning what it means to even BE a person and tend to lean towards the only person willing to speak to them and guide them and answer their questions (and there isn't a single Mandalorian who would ever do the same). I'm going to put the rest of this under a cut since it's getting long.

I've read plenty of posts about what attachment actually means in Star Wars (I've made a few myself, or at least addressed it in plenty of posts about the Jedi over the years), and I totally agree that the clones do also seem to hold similar values to the Jedi in terms of attachment, even if it comes from a very different (and arguably somewhat less healthy) place. It's not even really that they move on quickly, because part of the reason that seems to happen is more a matter of how the TV show is structured (TCW does not allow for anything to have any long-term impact on any of the characters, major events aren't discussed again once the episode/arc ends). For me, it's more seen in how clear-headed they seem to be about their situation, how aware they are of how much their situation sucks but they also recognize that if they DON'T fight, then they'll still suffer the consequences and helping protect innocent people is still the right thing to do. This is basically exactly what Rex tells Cut during that episode The Deserter. He also says something similar to Ahsoka in season 7 about how complicated the clones' relationship is to the war since they wouldn't exist without it, but none of them LIKE it, either. That recognition that they can't change the universe to suit them but that it doesn't mean they can't do ANYTHING is very Jedi-like to me.

I do think that the clones probably have a very different relationship with death than many other species simply because they'd have been raised to expect that they'd all die young and once the war starts, so many of them DO die that it would likely impact how they approach relationships. They don't seem to steer clear of relationships ENTIRELY (or at least, Cody and Rex don't seem to do so), despite how likely it is that those relationships might not last very long. It clearly does impact them when people they care about die, since Cody and Rex have that conversation in season 7's Bad Batch arc about all the people they've lost and how hard it is to be the one that survives in a war. It DOES impact them to see their own killed, it has a long-term effect on them as the war drags on, but Rex himself has said that his beliefs mean that he can't just walk away from the war, either. The only way his loved ones and his people stop dying is to do everything in his power to END the war. And that, again, is an extremely Jedi-like approach to this kind of situation and to the war itself. It's entirely possible that the Jedi helped them be able to reach this conclusion, that their guidance and openness about their OWN values and philosophies could've helped Rex learn what HIS values are. We do see Anakin helping guide Rex in an emotional moment during the same Bad Batch arc in season 7 of TCW, although I'd be willing to bet that Rex probably benefited more from Obi-Wan's guidance than Anakin's in the early days.

Obviously there is the fact that the clones seem to practice non-attachment in part because they've had no choice in entering this war and they'd likely go insane if they didn't learn how to let go to some degree, so the circumstances that led to the clones doing this isn't ideal, but that doesn't mean that the connection between their values and the Jedi's values isn't there and wouldn't help make that bond even deeper.

With the "found family/adopted family" thing for Mandos, my experience of it in the higher canon seems to indicate that it still follows VERY nuclear family guidelines (one Mando adopts their specific foundling and now they are considered parent and child, much like with Din Djarin and Grogu). This isn't really something the clones can emulate very well. There obviously are different generations of clones, but they aren't the ones choosing to produce more clones, and they likely aren't encouraged to create familial bonds with each other that way. We do also see older clones helping take care of younger ones sometimes (99 obviously has some sort of relationship with the Domino squad, there's a red-uniform clone leading a group of younglings to safety on Kamino once, and an older clone taking care of the group of younglings brought to see Mace and Anakin's ship), but even 99 tends to think of himself as a "brother" to the other clones, no matter how much older he might actually be. He is NOT their father nor do any of them really seem to see him as one.

And this, to me, might also be another way the clones and the JEDI can connect. The Jedi also don't really emulate nuclear family bonds. Jedi appear to be raised in groups when they're very young and are raised by several different adult Jedi. Then at some point when they reach teenagerhood, they presumably get chosen by a Master and become a Padawan. A lot of people see Master/Padawan relationships as very close to parent/child, but as we see with several of our canon Master/Padawan pairs, it's not always quite that clear. Anakin refers to Obi-Wan as "like a father" to him, but Obi-Wan calls Anakin his "brother" later. It's possible the relationship developed from one to the other over time, it's also possible that the two of them simply see their relationship differently. They're only 14 years apart, so it's not QUITE enough of an age difference to be obviously parent/child, but it's much larger than most sibling relationships. And also of course Anakin has already HAD a parent in his life that he still remembers as his parent (and he had the beginnings of a more parental relationship with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan was Qui-Gon's student, which muddies the waters even more). And there's Ahsoka and Anakin who are only 6 years apart or so and thus WAY too close in age to ever really be in a parent/child dynamic and they tend to be written with a more sibling-like relationship in mind (and I believe Ahsoka refers to him as her older brother to Trace in season 7). There's a comic where Obi-Wan is asked if Anakin is his son and Obi-Wan's response is "He's my Padawan," indicating that it is a DIFFERENT relationship to a typical parent/child relationship. It is something wholly unique.

And that's kind-of how I tend to see clone relationships with each other, too. They call each other brothers ("same heart, same blood" as Fives says), but it does seem to encompass something closer to "brothers in arms" than a more literal definition. But of course, they ARE clones and they DO share the same genetics for the most part, and that clearly does impact their relationships with each other, too. Their relationships with each other MIGHT have some familial aspects to them, but they also might end up feeling pretty distant since there are millions of them and they obviously don't all know everybody. Maybe some of them feel closer to other clones than anybody else, maybe some of them try to create more distance so as to better express their individuality. It's never going to fit into your basic nuclear family formulas. Maybe sometimes it gets close, maybe some of those labels can feel appropriate enough, but they'd also be something entirely and wholly unique to them, DIFFERENT from the way anyone else understands those same labels.

I like taking those "artificial" elements to the clones that could be viewed as similar to the Mandos and making them super unimportant to the clones. Specifically the armor, because the Mandos are basically defined by it. I love making headcanons that the clones barely care about their armor. They would never swap armor as a declaration of affection (romantic or otherwise). Their armor isn't SHIT, but it does get damaged and lost, so it seems a little silly to use it that way. They can't get attached to their armor any more than they can get attached to anything else. It's a practical thing to them, not a sentimental one. It also isn't something passed down through hundreds of years and multiple generations of their family the way it is for the Mandalorians. It was likely made new just a few years ago at most and they're likely the first one to ever use it and the chances that anyone would end up using THEIR armor after they died seem pretty minimal. The armor is also representative of the war they all feel such complicated things about and I like thinking that, in a happy fix-it AU, VERY VERY FEW OF THEM would keep it and plenty of them would actually destroy the armor as a symbol of their freedom.

And like with the language, there's never any indication they know it or care about speaking it, but we DO see a couple of them asking Obi-Wan about a TWI'LEK word once. We know they travel a lot and probably do have some level of interaction with locals sometime, so maybe instead of using Mando'a words, they start picking up fun words from other languages around the galaxy. Maybe they end up using a mishmash of different words from different languages and each battalion ends up with their own "dialect" almost depending on the words they learned from their various missions. They obviously are trained enough not to use them in formal situations, but it's something that comes out in their downtime maybe.

I love both the ideas about clone food, either that they have the worst creations known to man that only they could enjoy OR that they intentionally always make the blandest food possible because it's what they're used to and it's almost like comfort food to them.

One of my clone food headcanons was that the clones actually really lean towards FUSION food options. For the Jedi, we know that they obviously have a culture full of different species, but their food options might end up just full of different options of dishes from the cultures in the Order. It's not a FUSION of cultures so much as it is just a lot of variety. But the clones don't have access to all of the ingredients or equipment to manage that, so they have to make do what little they DO get. Much like with the language, I also like to think that they sometimes are able to pick up a few random food items from the places they visit and then try to figure out how to incorporate them into dishes with whatever else they've got. They're likely not trying to replicate an entire dish they've had (if they've even had the opportunity to try a whole dish), but just trying to figure out how to cook maybe one specific fruit they found or seeing if this thing that looks like a nut might make for a good garnish of sorts. And some of them could end up coming out really bad because they don't always know what they're doing, but they slowly start to learn and some of the food they create is actually REALLY GOOD, it's just... not from any one specific culture because they had to combine like flour from Ryloth and some fruit from Rodia and some of their own protein rations to try to create it. It's different, it's not BAD, but it could range from best thing you've ever eaten even though you couldn't explain what it tasted like if your life depended on it... all the way to just being a straight up acquired taste kind of dish.

And that's what clone cuisine ends up being known for because they refuse to be relegated to only one kind of food, they want to try EVERYTHING and see how it works but they have to make do with the ingredients and knowledge that they have. And in happy fix-it AUs, they would just continue to do that even after they DO have access to tons of ingredients and equipment and recipes. They COULD replicate specific dishes if they wanted, and maybe to do that sometimes too, but they also just love experimenting with different ingredients and flavors and seeing what happens.

I've decided that Rex is the one who paints Kanan's eye mask with his bird of prey design.

Kanan's feeling pretty low still just after Malachor, he's still distancing himself from everybody, and Rex decides to go try to talk to him at one point and the first thing he comes up with to say is to point out that his new mask is pretty plain. It's awkward, he regrets it immediately, but then Kanan says that it gets the job done and Rex is abruptly reminded of himself so so long ago back at the beginning of the war.

He sits Kanan down and tells him a story about how, at the beginning of the war, only a few of the clones had paint on their armor, to designate things like rank and battalion in order to make it easier for officers to find them in the middle of a busy battlefield. The paint was practical and it was limited to a very select few. But the Jedi almost immediately started trying to encourage the clones to utilize the paint less sparingly, suggesting that maybe everybody could wear at least a LITTLE paint and use more individualized designs so that it was still easy to tell the commanders and captains apart from the others when needed.

Some of the clones had taken to it with gusto, but others had been more hesitant, and Rex remembers having been one of them. He remembers telling Obi-Wan that there was no real REASON to paint everyone's armor and especially not to come up with personal designs. The armor was practical and it served its purpose with or without the paint and special designs. But the Jedi had insisted on at least TRYING to come up with his own design and if he didn't like it, he could always take it off, so Rex had given in and chosen something to paint on the armor. And, somehow, it felt a little lighter the next time he put it on. It didn't erase the horrors of war or the pain of loss or anything like that, but it helped.

He tells Kanan that the mask right now is just a reminder of the pain of the injury and whatever other feelings he's still got all caught up in the Malachor mission (guilt over what happened with Ezra, grief over Ahsoka's loss). But if he puts his own design on it, it might turn the mask into something other than a constant reminder of something bad. Instead, it's a reminder of who he is, the combination of the person he once was and who he's become. He is more than just his injury or this mission and he can use the mask to declare that if he wants to.

Kanan says he never realized Rex and the other clones had cared so deeply about their armor and Rex says that the armor itself was meaningless. It's better than what's being handed out to stormtroopers, but not but a LOT. It was the design on it that had meant something and, more than that, it was what the design REPRESENTED: having a choice about how you were perceived by others.

Kanan asks why Rex had chosen his particular designs, the bird of prey eyes on his helmet in particular. Rex explains that he chose it because he liked birds and thought it looked cool, but he's kept the helmet for as long as he has because it's come to mean something ELSE now. It's not just a cool-looking design, it's a reminder of a better time in his life. It's a reminder of when he'd been a part of something greater than himself, with the other clones and the Jedi. It's a reminder of a time when he'd had hope that he and his people could one day come out the other side of this war towards a brighter future.

Kanan looks at the mask he'd grabbed from storage somewhere or something just to keep light from hurting his eyes as they recovered and to cover up the injury from other people's stares (even if he couldn't see them staring), then hands it to Rex and asks if Rex minds sharing that symbol because he'd like a reminder of that, too. Rex remembers the 332nd and their helmets that they'd painted to look like their chosen Jedi, almost blindly giving away their individuality in favor of that loyalty that had been stripped from them anyway. And then he looks at Kanan, choosing to make himself look LIKE REX, someone who had shared his face with millions once, because he wants to honor both the connections he'd lost as well as this new connection the two of them have built together now. And Rex says he'd be happy to share.

[michaeljoncarter]

ALSO, like with just about everything about wyll in the full release version i m o, the way his interactions with mizora throughout the game were just sorta ported over without much tweaking to make them fit in with the new version of his character is so weird and clunky and just.... uncomfortable

the fact that mizora was mortal in the original version of the story was kind of an extremely important detail that not only wyll's entire character quest but also their entire relationship and history hinged on. the ea version of mizora was half-human, not a full devil, and according to dnd rules as i understand them, that means she would've had a regular human lifespan. (eta: yes, she's still called a cambion in the full version, but my issue is at some point between ea and full release, all the differences between cambions and devils apparently just up & vanished) so if ea mizora and ea wyll, who were around the same age, met when wyll was 17, that means they met when mizora was also somewhere in the range of her mid/late teens

there's obviously still an unhealthy power imbalance there with her being his patron and all, but there's a pretty big difference between a teenage boy being manipulated by an equally as young teenage girl into signing a pact vs a teenage boy being manipulated by a fully immortal & presumably-already-grown-at-the-time woman into signing himself into her service

and the flirty/sexual dialogue being left in makes this 100x worse. originally, mizora and wyll were explicitly in a romantic relationship that had just ended right before the game started (like literally right before. as in he told you that the nautiloid snatched them up WHILE he was in the middle of giving her his breakup speech (lmao)), but there is literally ZERO reason for the full release version of their relationship to have such a weirdly charged undertone to it??

you can't just take the dynamic of "toxic high school sweethearts who just had an insanely messy breakup 3 days ago after dating for 5+ years" and slap it onto "grownass woman who manipulated a teenage boy into signing his life away to her 5 years ago" with zero acknowledgement of the fact that that changes literally everything??

like sorry, this isn't just petty exes bickering anymore. this is now reading as nonstop sexual harassment, and to someone without the context of this happening due to a messyass rewrite (or even with it tbh), it's weird as fuck that some characters get entire arcs dedicated to unpacking the trauma that comes from being trapped in this exact dynamic, but with wyll, neither he nor the player ever get a chance to try to stop it or even really acknowledge the fact that it's happening in any significant way

the sloppiness of this whole rewrite is actually insane to me

[itspileofgoodthings]

I mean I’m obsessed with crash landing on you because it’s like if a hallmark movie was good and that is fascinating to my brain and healing to my heart.