#and if he died or left I could totally just live out of a van

[lattezzsposts]

𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗟𝗦 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 | ISSAC GRACIA

CHAPTER SIX

penny's pov

i had texted katherine if summer could come over, she was happy to have her around. i decided to catch a ride with her instead of getting one with the walter boys. i knew lee would be a blushing mess once he saw her. summer and i had gotten pretty close, she could understand my sign and despite her cousin, she was really nice.

she parked her car near where cole's van is normally parked and we walked into the house together. benny was running around with parker, jordan was chasing them around with a video camera. " hi penny! " parker shouted as i waved hello to her. jordan had taken notice of summer and started to film her.

" come on jordan, leave her alone " danny called from the kitchen. he walked over to us and greeted summer. she smiled at him and we turned the corner to find lee and issac playing video games. " hey guys " summer called out. lee got distracted and issac killed him which me laugh a little. lee's face getting all red as summer smiled at him.

i linked my arm with summer's arm and i glanced at issac who signed to me. he just said hey and i signed a hey back. " we're going to be upstairs in penny's room, if you need us " summer stated. both of them nodded as we headed towards the stairs. nathan had greeted summer as he was going downstairs.

" i can't believe you live with the walters and i'm here in the walter house " summer glanced at me as i smiled. because of cole, pretty much every girl dreamed about being in the walter household. we took the stairs up to the second floor and i opened the door that led to the stairs towards my room.

i signed to her that my room was the attic but it was loft so it was bigger than all the rooms. we walked up the stairs and summer was in awe of my room. " man, you were not kidding. katherine and george really did try with this room " summer smiled and flopped on my bed. i sat down my bag and joined her.

" you know, issac was totally eyeing you " summer smirked as i rolled my eyes playfully. i signed back to her that lee had died in his game because of her and his cheeks were red. " he's kind of cute " summer commented. i giggled as a knock was heard on the door. i signed to summer to tell whoever it was to come in. she did and two pairs of footsteps came up the stairs.

issac and lee had come up into the loft. " lee was wondering if you both wanted to play video games with us " issac stated. lee was in the back being all shy and i turned to summer. she turned to me and we both turned back to issac, nodding. of course lee would make issac ask us, lee was pretty shy when it came to girls and issac was confident.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

summer had only stayed for an hour and a couple of minutes. katherine had returned home and she was not happy. according to her, jackie had gone to see her at work and in the amidst of everything had told her about the bet that issac mentioned to her in the morning.

she was not happy at all and cole and jackie were not back yet. we're all sitting at the dinner table, well most of us were sitting and eating. it was dead silence as i sat beside lee, it had been a couple hours since jackie and cole were supposed to be home.

this was so awkward and i wanted to leave. the door opened and cole walked in with jackie. " is there anything left? cause i'm starving " cole asked as he walked into the dinning room. he grabbed some food and started to eat it. " you know you're supposed to call if you're running late, i mean that's the whole reason you have a phone " george spoke up.

" where have you guys been? " katherine asked. i kept my head down and continued to eat. cole had answered that jackie and him went to the watering hole and lost track of time. jackie was saying something was but interrupted by george. he was asking cole if he knew anything about a bet with issac.

" no. no, does not ring a bell " cole answered defensively. the way he answered just proved he knew about it. " i didn't catch that " george stated. as katherine had the look of disappointment on her face. " seriously, cole? " she asked. i glanced to jackie as she was in shock. cole sighed and brushed it off like it was nothing. " it was just a joke, okay? " he defended.

his words earning a gasp from jackie, i guess she did not know that cole was involved. it was quiet for a moment and then alex spoke up. " maybe ask jordan what he's got on camera " he pointed out. jordan, issac, and lee were mad that alex just basically called them out. danny was disappointed in jordan for catching it on camera.

katherine glanced over to jackie with an apologetic look. " jackie, i don't even know what to say " jackie shook her head and looked at katherine with a small smile. " i have to fix my hair, penny are you coming? " she glanced over to me as i nodded and walked over to her. both of walking towards the stairs so we could fix her hair together.

[sweetdreamsjeff]

In At The Deep End

Martin Aston, MOJO, August 1994

AWARE HE COULD be unfairly accused of trading on the family name, Jeff Buckley, Tim Buckley's 27-year-old son, has spent the last three years honing his act in New York's folk clubs and cafes before unveiling his first recordings. The Live At Sine-E EP and his first album, Grace (out August 15), confirm an intensely mesmeric talent with a similarly wild, mercurial voice as his father's, but his own blazing cache of wounded torch songs, restless rockers and wayward blues.

Did you always want to be a singer?

First there was my mother's breasts, then music. All my life, I sung to the radio. My mum, who was a classically-trained pianist and cellist, used to sing to me too. We'd drive to school with the radio on, playing mellow Californian stuff – Joni Mitchell, Crosby Stills & Nash. I started singing at family gatherings – my stepfather would fall asleep and mum would get embarrassed, so to direct attention away, I'd sing every Elton John song I knew. Singing onstage felt natural. It was like, "I'm going into the ocean, to the water!"

Has the subject of your father become a thorn in your side?

My dad left home when I was six months old and I only met him when I was eight, over Easter vacation, a total of nine days. Two months later he died. The people who knew him, they apparently have magic memories of him, but it's been a claustrophobic thing all my life. I guess my dad and I were born with the same parts, like some people have the same bone structure, but when I sing, it's me. Our expression is not the same. The thing is, I've got my own time, and if people expect me to get them off like he did they'll be disappointed. I'm just going to make the most intense, heartfelt statement I can.

You've amassed an amazing repertoire of covers, from the Smiths to Dylan, Billie Holiday to the Sex Pistols, with an Edith Piaf and Van Morrison track on the Sine-E EP.

I saw gifts dangling from those songs and I wanted to take them. Even though punk happened to me, and Robert Johnson too, I guess I wanted to be an archetypal entertainer, a bard, a minstrel, to be a really good storyteller, and those songs have great stories. Also I figured I wouldn't be able to meet these people so I learnt from them by hearing them sing.

I've read somewhere that Robert Plant was your greatest influence.

No, Led Zeppelin was just my favourite music when I was growing up. The thing about Led Zeppelin, and the Cocteaus too, is that they carried with them this unexplainable...thing, this spirit. They let their deepest eccentricities be the music itself. Everything I love and have heard about music – I want to leave it all behind and go someplace else. There's so much more, so many more ways of saying "I love you" or "where the hell do I fit in?" And it's nothing arty, nothing lofty, just fucking different. I'm just trying to do my thing.

© Martin Aston, 1994

[curtailedwhale]

Gotta remind myself that I have been trying to care less and give less at work, so having my grandboss tell me that I need to stop playing on my phone is a win, actually.

[rottenaero]

Ao3

Part 1

Part 3

Part two to the roommates idea

Whenever the mall ‘burns down’, Eddie is just chilling at home; not doing anything special.

Actually, thats a complete lie. He hadn't seen Steve since he left for his shift the day before, and currently has his band+Wayne scattered in the living room as he paces.

“He may as well be dead, he always calls before staying the night somewhere, and he totally despises that place, so why would he stay after hours?” He comes to a halt infront of Jeff who looks considering. “What?!"

“Maybe, consider, he just forgot to call you." Eddie scoffed, “ ‘Maybe he just forgot’, except you don't know him, Jeff. Steve doesn't forget, tell ‘em Wayne."

Wayne nods from his spot on the lazyboy, “ ‘S true, he'd rather call at 2am than have us worrying.”

Gareth rolls his eyes, “Look Edmund, I get your worried about you boyfriend and all but why did we have to get dragged into this?" He complained, and Eddie began pacing again.

“ Not,my boyfriend, yet, and you’re getting-”

A ringing interrupts him.

The pacing stopped almost as soon as it began, and he darts to the phone. “ Y’hello, it's Eddie talking.” A sharp breath drew from the other end of the line.

“Hey Eds."

Eddie smiled, “Holy shit, Stevie. I thought you died. Wayne and the guys are literally gathered in the living room.” Upon hearing the name, Wayne visibly relaxed, going from hunched over to leaning backwards in seconds.

“Yeah I'm- Well shit not okay but I'm not dead.”In the background there was a noise, barely noticeable but-

“Wait, what? Are those sirens? Are you hurt? What the hell-” Wayne leaned forward again.

“I'm at the mall, there's been, uh, an accident? I don't- they took my keys, I need a ride back home.”

“Who took your keys? Steve you can't just be all ominous and-” The phone line shut off. "Fuck!”

Grant, who hasn't been helpful at all, stood up. "What did he do?”

Eddie groans, running a hand through his greasy hair, “Needs us to pick him up, might be hurt. He's such a- Wayne we're taking my van, you guys coming?”

Turns out the answer is yes.

-

They arrive at the mall five minutes later, mostly because Eddie was driving like a bat outta hell, to every emergency vehicle you can think of, plus thirty more, surrounding the place.

Eddie roles his window down when a cop signals him. “What are you doing over here?"

The metalhead bites his lip, what the hell, “Uh, I'm here to pick up Steve Harrington? He got involved in whatever's happening.”

The cops nods, "Alright, park your vehicle over there, and go get him.”

He does as he's told, a surprising feat showing just how scared he was, because Steve being hurt could mean so many things.

They get out the car, Wayne being the leading man, and head to where the commotion is.

The mall was totally destroyed, a couple kids he didn't know were sitting around, surrounded by their parents, there's a couple teens too, Nancy Wheeler, Johnny Byers, a girl in a sailor costume, and-

Eddie’s heart stopped and he fucking sped forward. “ Holy shit, what the fuck man." Steve looked like hell, understatement of the century but-

His face was bruised and bloody, his hands wrapped in casts, his hair was flat and gross and he was still in his damn sailor costume.

“Hey Munsons, Gareth, Jeff, Grant. It's the whole Scooby gang, or Smurfs, whoever you prefer.” Eddie grabbed his shoulders, and stared him dead in the eye. “ What. The. Fuck. Are you high too?!”

“Just what the hell did you get yourself into. " Wayne said more than asked, shaking his head.

Steve buzzed his lips, his eyebrows furrowed and he brought a hand to them and-

God they were split, and bleeding now. He looked back up at the long haired man infront of him, ignoring Wayne's question-not-question.

“Nah, just recovering from being drugged. Hey this is rivveting conversation and shit, but like, I wanna go home and sleep in your bed, man. Or the couch, or the floor.”

He let out a loud laugh, “Fuck I am not picky right now, I'll even take the back of the van.”

“Christ."

-

They don't talk about it, not after Hellfire goes home, not the next morning, not after Steve heals. They just don't, because the news told them all they need to know, that there was a fire. Eddie just assumed when they said he was drugged, that he meant medically.

(He didn't)

[goldengoddess]

you & the stars - jesper fahey

pairing: jesper fahey x reader 

request: Hii Could I request head-cannons for dating Jesper and getting hurt on a job. I love your work so much !!

a/n: thank you so much<3 oh my god i totally got carried away with this,,, this might be one of my favorite things i’ve written holy fuck so self indulgent because i love jesper with every part of me 

warnings: angst (but comfort at the end), bullet wounds, injury, blood, almost dying, curse words

you saw the blood before you felt the pain in your side. it dripped down your stomach and into your hands. and then came the horrible vision blurring pain that followed. black spots flowered in your vision as you fell to the floor on your knees. you clutched your stomach as if your two hands could stop the bleeding of a bullet hole.

this was meant to be an easy job. it was meant to be in and out. you and the crows had escaped the ice court, the hands of jan van eck, and the capture of multiple countries. a re con mission at a merchant party should have been a joke. it was meant to even be fun.

you had been looking forward to it for weeks. looking forward to dressing up. feeling nice fancy satin on your skin for one beautiful night. being able to see jesper all cleaned up and in a suit.

you had woken up that morning ready to let your fantasy world take over, to pretend that this job was just a date between you and your boyfriend. that you two fit into this world of luxury and ease, and not the world of street fights and bullet wounds.

how wrong your day dreaming had been, you thought to yourself.

you didn’t remember falling to the floor completely, but suddenly your back was pressed onto the street and you could see the night sky above you.

it was pitch black, filled with clouds of smoke and pollution, a staple of ketterdam.

you could vaguely hear voices calling your name in the distance, muffled by the roar of pain your body was in.

where were the stars, you wondered. i need to see the stars.

the tears in your eyes made it hard for you to see but suddenly jesper’s face appeared in your line of vision, followed by inej’s.

a string of curse words left jesper’s mouth as he gently cradled your head and upper body.

inej unwrapped her scarf and pressed it into the wound in your stomach. you winced in pain every time she moved or shook from fear.

“y/n, sweetheart, you have to stay with me” jesper pleaded.

he looked so worn out, so scared. his eyes were wide and sad. his mouth turned into a frown. you hated when jesper didn’t smile, his grin was just too bright for this world.

“please smile for me” you groaned. everything in your body hurt, your vision was blurry, and it was getting harder and harder to form coherent thoughts.

jesper’s frown only deepened as he rubbed your cheek with his thumb, “just stay with me please. i’ll smile for the rest of my life. just stay with me.”

you let out what you hoped was a little whine and not a blood curdling scream.

you guessed it was the latter as both inej and jesper looked at each other with wide eyes.

jesper started screaming nina’s name at the top of his lungs, his voice raw and desperate cracking at the end of each scream.

she won’t get here in time.

you used every ounce of energy your body had left to lift your hand up to jesper’s face.

your touch shocked him and he turned his attention back to your face, you in his arms. he leaned into your hand and you could see tears at the corner of his eyes.

“i love you.” you wheezed out, “i love you so much. you are the best person i’ve ever known. i need you to know that and remember that when i’m not there to tell you.”

his face grew angry at your words and his grip tightened on your body, “no. you are gonna be there. you’re gonna be there for the rest of my stupid life telling me how great i am and sometimes how obnoxious i can be. you are not allowed to die, we aren’t finished.”

you removed your hand from his face. the blood on your hands staining his cheek and shirt. jesper saw the blood on him and let out a small gasp. 

the sky caught your attention again.

no stars.

you wanted stars.

you registered the feeling of being lifted off the ground by jesper, his arms hooked under your knees and supporting you head at the same time.

he was walking as fast as he could without hurting you and every small protest of pain from your mouth squeezed at his heart.

you gripped his shirt, “jesper.”

he looked down at you and even scared and covered in your blood you couldn’t believe how beautiful he looked.

“what baby?” he asked as gently as possible, still moving towards, what you hoped, was the slat.

“the stars aren’t there” you said deliriously, resting your head on his chest, “i want to see the stars.”

“stay awake and i’ll take you to the stars sweetheart. just stay awake.” you heard him say before you closed your eyes and the world went silent.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you opened your eyes and you let out a sigh of relief at the familiar sight and smell of your room at the slat.

you craned your neck to the side, and you were met with nina zenik sitting in a chair with her head in her hands, mumbling prayers and nonsense.

“saints zenik, i never took you for the religious type” you teased, your voice coming out sounding wrong thanks to your scratchy throat.

her head snapped up and she rushed to your bed side, clutching your hand.

“oh you absolute idiot, you are not allowed to do that again. do you hear me?” she threatened.

you let out a little laugh, “or what zenik?”

her eyes got sad all of a sudden and she squeezed your hand gently, like if we squeezed just the right way she could transfer all of her love and strength to you. “im sorry i couldn’t get there earlier. by the time you got to me i thought there was nothing i could do.” she sighed and puffed out her chest slightly, “but this is me we’re talking about so of course i fixed you right up. but i didn’t have time to worry about the beauty of all of it so it’ll leave a pretty nasty scar.”

you nodded your head as she talked. you had assumed as much, everything in your body was sore but you were happy that it wasn’t screaming in pain like before.

“god jesper was about to kill me dead as i worked on you, i swear he was so worried and pissed he would have bitch slapped me right there in front of the crows and- oh my god jesper!?” she shrieked the last part.

she got off the floor and opened the door, “jes! get your ass up here.”

she turned back to you, “y/n he was here the entire time. we finally convinced him to go get something to eat i promise. he’s going to be so angry he wasn’t here when you woke up.”

and even thought you’d almost died, the thought of jesper waiting at your bedside made you blush.

nina noticed and rolled her eyes, “yuck, the two of you are so in love it hurts.”

suddenly jesper was at the door, his breathing labored making it very clear that he had run up the stairs at full speed to get to your room.

nina gave you a small smile before slipping out of the room and closing the door.

jesper was at your side before you could blink. his forehead pressed into your arm as he held the same hand nina had held only a few minutes ago.

he kept repeating “you’re okay” and “i’m so sorry” over and over. and you couldn’t speak. because you couldn’t believe you had this beautiful boy in your life and you were making him worry.

you lifted his head so he was looking at you and you placed your hand on his cheek. you got a horrible sense of deja vu. jesper felt it too because he immediately tensed. you pulled your hand away and when you both saw there was no blood, you put it back.

“jes, you incredible idiot, this is not your fault. you don’t have to say sorry. i’m okay. i’m still here. we are okay.”

you punctuated each word to make him really get it. you couldn’t live with yourself if this moment destroyed the happy boy that you had fallen in love with.

he let out a breath and motioned for you to make room in the bed. you wiggled to one side, wincing a little bit. jesper climbed in and you rested your head on his shoulder as he played with your fingers.

“don’t ever scare me like that again” he grumbled.

you laughed and jokingly responded with “no sorry babe i can’t promise that, i just love getting shot in the stomach. quiet enjoyed it”

he glared at you for a second before laughing with you.

he traced a little heart into your palm with his pointer finger. “you’re my favorite person in this world. i couldn’t live without you.”

“then you’re lucky you don’t have to” you hummed in response.

“yeah i am, who would annoy the crap out of me if not” he teased.

you giggled into his shoulder and left a little kiss.

“when you’re feeling better, you know, not on the brink of death by bullet, i’m going to take you to novyi zem.” you looked up at him, shocked because jesper had never suggested visiting his home country. but he was still looking at your fingers like his life depended on it. “we’re going to spend a week at my da’s farm and we’ll stay up all night looking at the stars and making up stories.” he said. it didn’t sound like a request but more like a plea. like he had to give this to you.

you only vaguely recalled mentioning the stars and jesper holding you in his arms but you nodded your head anyways.

“as much as i’m incredibly excited for that, i already have the brightest star right here.” you grinned, tapping his nose.

he rolled his eyes and kissed the crown of your head, “cheesy sweetheart. even for you.”

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (July 25/2021) - The Wilburger Ranvan

Wilbur comes up with his new calling: selling burgers in a burger van! At Phil’s suggestion, Wilbur teams up with Ranboo to do so, setting up their new business on the outskirts of Las Nevadas.

A brief summary of the week’s total events can be found at the end of the post.

---

VOD LINKS:

Wilbur Soot

Captain Puffy

BadBoyHalo

---

- Wilbur and Phil hang out in the Arctic. Wilbur has a proposition for Phil

- He says he met up with Quackity and it was a nice time. The one conclusion he came to is that Quackity is very resourceful

Wilbur: “As much as I may disagree with your views on anarchy, I must say, it’s pretty harmless. I -- I can’t hate you for it. I can’t hate you for enjoying literally living in a peaceful little village in the snow, I mean the server’s never been this peaceful since -- since all the countries and nations and cities and everything is gone. So Phil, I came to you with one question, one question...do you think Quackity should be allowed to be left unchecked?”

- Phil says no. The issue is, there’s no government, no police force. What Techno’s done is left a power vacuum and now Quackity’s come in with an unethical establishment, gambling...

- Wilbur wants to make a burger van

- They get interrupted by an Enderman ascending from the basement

- He knows there’s a bit of déjà vu, but the difference is that the burger van isn’t going to sell drugs this time. He wants every steak to have a name

- He’s done with being a source of authority, a president. His calling is just burgers, no ulterior motives

- Phil knows someone who would help out: Ranboo. The richest, most knowledgable man on the server, and he’s run out of things to do on the server

- Wilbur doesn’t want to play with Ranboo, but Phil threatens to kick him out if he doesn’t so he does, annoyed at being treated like a child

- Wilbur gives Ranboo his proposition

Wilbur: “I like to think, you know, let bygones be bygones, let’s bury the hatchet, let’s be -- Ranboo I’m gonna go out on a limb here...do you wanna be friends?”

- His next progression, after being a dead-terrorist-president...is to be a chef. Ranboo is onboard 

- They start walking over. Wilbur asks if Ranboo’s heard of Las Nevadas, and Ranboo mentions their abandoned cookie post that was causing trouble. He wants to create competition for Quackity’s business. Eventually, maybe Quackity will have to make a deal with them, maybe even be their friend

- Ranboo wants to keep it respectful. Wilbur assures him that they already has the land necessary

- Wilbur wants to pick Ranboo’s brain and asks his thoughts on Quackity. Ranboo says he just hasn’t seen him in so long. Their last interaction before everything else happened was just that they were in the same cabinet of New L’manburg

- Wilbur didn’t know that Ranboo was part of L’manburg’s government

- Wilbur asks if he dislikes anyone. Ranboo says not too much, just people that he doesn’t agree with. Everyone is just a product of what they’ve gone through, so if you understand that, you understand the person

- If you align yourself with everyone, isn’t that more complicated? Ranboo says that’s why he’s just been living with Phil and Techno away from everything, trying not to involve himself in much, but he has a terrible radar on what’s involving himself and what isn’t

Wilbur: “What about Dream?”

Ranboo: “Well that’s -- well, with Dream it’s kind of like...all I’ve heard of Dream, all I’ve seen with Dream is just been like the really bad things that he’s done and everything, so I would say that I -- yeah, I don’t really like Dream, but I mean, he’s also not really someone that it matters whether or not I like him ‘cause he’s just away in that prison for a really long time, so I mean...”

Wilbur: “No trial?”

- They reach their competition and go into the fast food restaurant

- He peeks into the casino, but holes it back up. This building doesn’t benefit the consumer

- Wilbur places down some signs insulting Quackity’s burger place, guaranteeing those signs will never leave since they don’t care about the customer

- Wilbur shows Ranboo his area, which he's thinking of naming “Paradise.” Ranboo says it could be a neat play on words...pair-of-dice

- Wilbur and Ranboo decide to make the place red and white, retro-themed. Ranboo gives Wilbur Ranord and Wilbur goes off to gather some red

- Wilbur likes Tubbo since he’s strong-headed and doesn’t let people push him around

- Ranboo says when you can’t change someone’s mind, it’s no use to needlessly argue. Wilbur points out that Ranboo seems to be a bit more dynamic than a purely neutral, peaceful force. He’s somehow appeared in almost every conflict the server’s had since Wilbur died

- Ranboo says it’s because he’s bad at discerning things, but he’s been doing alright with his situation recently. He wants to help people, and sometimes he lets that desire to help people get in the way of what he says about himself

Wilbur: “Ranboo...why did you help to help me?”

- Ranboo needed something to do, and he also thought that Wilbur’s an alright person, so he wants to get off on a better foot because he doesn’t like having people not like him

- Wilbur asks why he doesn’t think Wilbur’s a bad person. Ranboo says he did bad things, but also went through things that made him that way and now he’s changed as a person since he died. He’s optimistic in that

Wilbur: (sniffs) “Good, uh...that’s nice. Thank you. Uh...I think I needed to hear that.”

Wilbur: “Can I be real with you man? ...I think I scare people.”

Ranboo: “I mean...yeah, I do the same thing.”

Wilbur: “No, not in -- no no, I mean I...I don’t think I...I think a lot of people share your idea, but they share your idea in trying to -- trying to keep me from hurting them, you know? Like they’ve seen what I can do and they don’t want me to do it again, so they adopt your emotion in order to do it.”

- He demolished Jack Manifold’s house twice, he completely ignored him in the war, and what it took for Jack to forgive Wilbur was just a sorry. 

Wilbur: “And I know -- I’ve spoken to Tommy about Jack Manifold! And Jack Manifold is not the sort of person to forgive someone like that with a sorry! Imagine if Dream said sorry to Jack Manifold! What’s Dream done to Jack Manifold, huh? Barely anything! I imagine if Dream said sorry to Jack Manifold, Jack Manifold would ignore him. Do you know why? Because DREAM’s in prison, and I’m not!

“Dream is -- he’s had his comeuppance and I’ve not! My comeuppance was apparently not good enough for these people! They’re just waiting! Waiting for the next thing for me to slip up on them -- Ranboo, I’m not gonna fucking slip up, Ranboo, I’m different. I’m not Dream...god, I wish I was! Sometimes I wish, I wish I’d gotten that comeuppance but Ranboo, I’m not Dream. And I’m not gonna be Dream, and that’s...”

“I’m living in eternal Limbo...again. I’ve been through Limbo. I’m out of Limbo. And socially, I’m still in this Limbo, and man, Ranboo, hearing you say those words that you said to me? Do you remember what you said?”

Ranboo: “Y-yeah, I do?”

Wilbur: “You said...(sniffs) I think people can change, that’s number one. And number two, you said you’re scared that people don’t like you.”

- He tells Ranboo that they’re kindred. They have the same neuroticism, their strongest point. But anxiety is not their downfall. Wilbur’s parents are alive because they were anxious and didn’t let anything take them down

- Ranboo says they’re both thinkers. They may think in different ways, but they think at the same level

Wilbur: “I think you might be a bit braver than me in showing your true colors. I feel like with you, Ranboo, I never have to be guessing your next move. I never have to be guessing your hand, you know? I feel like life dealt us the same cards, and the difference is you build your trust by showing people your cards whilst I keep them close to my chest, and I feel like that might be the big difference.”

- He asks Ranboo what he feels about thievery. He’s going to steal Las Nevadas’ cows to make into burgers

- Ranboo makes some concrete and starts building the van. Wilbur rides off on a horse looking for some sheep

- Wilbur asks Ranboo about Tubbo and Ranboo talks a bit about Snowchester. Wilbur thought Techno was successful at getting rid of all the nations, but Ranboo says it’s not a nation. Wilbur doesn’t know about Kinoko Kingdom either

- Wilbur gets to the spider farm, which has Kanye West in it

- He heads back and they discuss names like Paradise or Wilburger

- Wilbur asks Ranboo’s opinion on Tommy and Ranboo thinks he’s great. Tommy’s gone through a lot, but it’s made him a good person. 

Wilbur notes that he seems to think that everyone’s gone through something. Ranboo says yes, the only bad people are those who are evil without a reason why, but there’s not many people like that

- Wilbur names the first burger “Wilburger Vol. 1″ and puts a watermark on it

- Wilbur wants to ask Ranboo one last make-or-break question

- Chat suggests the “Wilburger Ranvan” and they like it

- They go to Quackity’s restaurant and Wilbur wants Ranboo to smash the windows. Ranboo does

- Wilbur goes inside and places TNT. He hands Ranboo the lighter and tells him to detonate it

- Ranboo does so. Wilbur tells Ranboo to go back to the van. He’s passed the test

Wilbur: “Ranboo, I’m proud of you man. You’ve -- you’ve taken a side.”

- Wilbur goes back and places a sign at the crater:

---

***** Wilbur + Ranboo  Did this together

*****

---

“I love that guy.” (laughs) “I love that guy.”

END OF WEEK RECAP:

7/19 - Nothing much happens.

7/20 - Sapnap and George speak with Mexican Dream

7/21 - Foolish creates Philzavilla and breaks into the prison

7/22 - Nothing much happens.

7/23 - Nothing much happens.

7/24 - MCC, no updates

7/25 - Wilbur and Ranboo make a burger van

---

Upcoming Events:

- Captain Puffy’s Lore Stream

- Wilbur’s 11 planned streams

- Egg Finale Stream

- Tales From the SMP: “Space Race”

- Ponk’s prequel stream

- Ponk’s current-day lore with Sam

- Puffy’s Lore Cast

- Sapnap’s lore

- Dream’s lore video

- Quackity’s casino opening

[urmindisastreamofcolors]

Greta Van Fleet One Shots: How You Meet

T/W: Mentions of a car wreck

Josh: 

It was an unexpected turn of events, but Josh liked to refer to it as universal intervention. Every morning you walked ten minutes down the street to your favorite coffee shop to get something heavily caffeinated before holing yourself up in your art studio for the rest of the day. This morning activity had gone past routine a long time ago and had quickly become ritual. You had found out that walk was a great way for you to start your day for sculpting with clay. 

One rainy fall morning right before Halloween, you were surprised to see four young guys milling around the coffee shop seeming to enjoy the atmosphere while they discussed various pieces of art from local artists lining the walls. A few of the pieces of photography were yours from when you visited the Grand Canyon a couple summers ago, but since then, your attention had been focused on pottery. 

After a steaming latte was firmly secured in your hand and a hefty tip left for the baristas, you began to make your way back to the door as you planned out your day mentally. Before you could grab the door handle, one of the shorter guys from the group with curly hair quickly held the door for you with a breathtaking smile. You hadn’t been into photography in years, but you would’ve died on the spot to have captured that grin on camera. 

You offered your thanks quickly as you your face was suddenly on fire. He had to of known you were staring, but what you didn’t know was the he had been staring since you entered the coffee shop. 

“Hey! Wait! What’s your name,” the young man called after you as you stepped outside onto the sidewalk. The morning light made him squint his deep brown eyes as he stared at you, waiting on an answer. 

“I’m y/n,” you answered shyly as you pushed a stray piece of hair out of your face and nearly slapped yourself when you realized you totally forgot to ask his. Before you could open your mouth, he had already beat you the punch and leaned back against the building with his arms crossed and a confident grin on his face. 

“So, y/n....do you come here often?”  

Danny:

The music was so loud that you were sure your head would burst. You could feel the beat of the music in your the center of your chest as you sipped on your drink. Your friend, y/f/n, was friends with a drummer for a pretty famous band and they extended an invitation to their house party to kick off their new album release. While you though Greta Van Fleet was a weird name for a rock n’ roll band, you did like their music.

Bob Seger blared through the house as you continued the search for your friend. The body heat from the crowd was coming off in waves and making you feel dizzy. You were just ready to leave, but you couldn’t leave your friend behind. A tap on your shoulder had you turning quickly coming face to face with a tall guy with long black hair who offered you a friendly smile.

“Hey! I’m Danny. I’m friend’s with y/f/n too! She’s been looking all over for you,” he yelled over the music as he pointed in the direction of your friend who was jumping up and down trying to get your attention. You and Danny laughed as some random guy with long hair and a pink shirt started doing the same thing to make fun of her. 

“That’s Sam. He’s my best friend. It’s getting to be a bit much in here, so we’re all going to step out for a few minutes if you would like to join. Unfortunately, I don’t know everyone here tonight and I don’t want to leave you by yourself,” Danny yelled over the music with a kind look on his face. 

“Yeah! That would be great! I was actually getting a bit overwhelmed, so I’m glad you’re here dude,” you shouted back as you placed your hand in the crook of his offered elbow. As you two made your way to the edge of the room where your friends were waiting, people stumbled over each other to get your way and were yelling and patting Danny on the back. A sudden realization ran through body as you felt your eyes widen at the idea that this was the Danny from Greta Van Fleet.

Sam: 

You and Ronnie had been best friends for as long as you two could remember which meant her brothers annoyed you as much as they did her. Throughout your high school years, you honestly didn’t have a crush on any of them but found their friendship to be as irreplaceable as Ronnie’s. 

Once they made their big debut, you didn’t see them often and you and Ronnie both attended different colleges. In fact, you had a once in a lifetime opportunity to study abroad and couldn’t pass it up.The miles between you and Ronnie didn’t matter and you talked every single day and normally face-timed too. Any updates on the boys came from her or Karen. You did miss hanging out in the garage on the weekends and playing pranks, but as the days turned into years, you didn’t think much more of it. 

Finally, you were able to go home for a much needed visit after your year abroad and apparently, Ronnie and the boys would be home at the same time too. Quickly, you all made plans to hang out at the first possible moment and you were jittery with excitement on your flight back to US. 

After taking a couple days to catch up on some much needed rest, you were finally able to go hang out at the Kiszka house. When you got there, you didn’t even knock on the door and waltzed straight into the living room like you had always done. Ronnie and the boys were sprawled all over the furniture with the exception of Danny who always preferred the floor. Hearing your entrance, Ronnie let out a scream as she lept over the back of the couch and literally sent you sprawling to the ground with her on top of you. 

“Okay-Ronnie-Ronnie! Let go of my neck! I can’t breathe,” you croaked out as the only Kiszka girl finally loosened her death grip and helped you up. All the boys got up next to give you a quick hug, but you noticed one missing. 

“Where’s Sammy,” you asked as your heard his feet hitting the steps on his way down. With a huge grin, he made his way over to get a hug, but you felt yourself swallow quickly as you willed yourself not to blush. Little Sammy had apparently grown up on tour and Sam was the one approaching you with his arms outstretched. Giving you a tight squeeze, you could smell his shampoo from his long hair and willed your heart to slow down. 

You had never had a crush on any of Ronnie’s brothers, but that had quickly changed in less than a minute. 

Jake:

The radio was still playing as you hung upside down in your car. Your seat belt was the only thing holding you in place. You could taste the blood in your mouth and salty tears and blood ran into your hairline. Adrenaline was pumping through your veins as you scanned your surroundings and tried to remember how you ended up in the current situation, but nothing immediately came to mind which made you cry harder. You were sobbing when you could hear voices drifting through the shattered windshield. 

Despite the pain in your ribs and the tightness of the seat belt, you let out a blood curdling screech that ended in hiccups and sobs. A few moments later, you heard hurried footsteps and gravel crunching..

“Josh! Call 911!”

“Damn! How are we going to get her out? Should we move her?”

“I don’t know! Did anyone get that license plate? She was ran off the road!”

The voices blurred together and your eyes felt heavy. They began to flutter shut when a guy with long hair and a worried expression stuck his head in your car from the busted passenger side window. 

“Hey! Stay awake! I know you’re tired, but you have to stay awake. What’s your name,” he asked gently as he wiggled into the car and grabbed on of your hands. The calluses were a drastic difference to your soft palms and he absentmindedly ran his thumb over the back of your hand. 

“Y/n. It’s y/n,” you stuttered out. 

“It’s nice to meet you. Help’s on the way, okay? I’m Jacob, but I go by Jake. I wish we had met in better circumstances, but you have super pretty eyes,” he said with a soft smile. 

“I’m scared, Jake,” you said as a new flood of tears ran into your hairline. 

“I know. I’m going to stay right here. You’re not alone. I promise,” Jake said with sincerity as he continued to comfort you. 

On the verge of bleeding out, you honestly were wondering if he wasn’t your guardian angel. 

[knickynoo]

Gonna regret asking this as soon as you answer, but what do you think Marty would’ve done had doc actually died in the parking lot? Like immediately and beyond? And just to spread the pain around, what would doc have done had Marty died by buford’s hand?

This is another one of those asks that got backlogged. Sorry, anon. I've given some thought to these scenarios, though, and, well...I'm sorry. This is gonna be dark.

Had Doc not heeded Marty's warning and actually died (& assuming Marty re-loading the time machine with plutonium and trying to fix things isn't possible for some reason):

Marty would've continued to sit on the cold ground, sobbing for a long while. Einstein would join him, torn between trying to comfort his young friend and whimpering by Doc, trying to get the man to wake up.

Once the initial flood of tears eases, I could see Marty getting angry. Like, the angriest he's ever been. Screaming at Doc, at himself, and maybe finding things in Doc's truck to throw around and destroy. Then another wave of sadness would hit and he'd break down again.

Eventually, Marty would realize he needed to get moving. Someone was bound to see the fire caused by the Libyans' van and also the truck, DeLorean on the street in town, and the man lying dead in the mall parking lot. He'd know that the police would soon be called and that there would be a lot of questions that he'd rather not have to answer, but Marty would be very hesitant to go. He wouldn't want to leave his best friend. How could he? It would be a betrayal. He'd be a coward to run. Doc wouldn't leave him if the roles were reversed. So he'd stay, shivering in the cold night air, trying to figure out what he'll say. What they'll ask him.

After, he'd find a payphone and call the police himself. Upon their arrival, though, he'd lean into his own hysteria and act like he had no clue what happened. Maybe explain he was Doc's assistant and that he'd been asked to come to the mall but he'd shown up late and found the scene as it was already. When it came down to it, Marty would really be too much of a mess to talk to anyone, and the authorities on the scene would just see a distraught kid who needed to get home.

(There's a lot that could probably be said about how things would unfold once Marty got home, but in the interest of wanting to skip ahead, I'll just say that George and Lorraine would be horrified. Scared out of their minds and confused at what had happened. They'd likely do everything in their power to shield Marty from questions and prying eyes in the weeks that would follow)

Oh, right...on top of Doc being dead and Marty having witnessed it (twice!), he'd also have to deal with the whiplash at his suddenly new family. Which would really not be a good situation.

Things would rapidly fall apart for Marty once the dust settled and the reality of things set in. He'd be dealing with a family who all felt like strangers. He'd have no memories of ever having lived with those people. He wouldn't even be able to talk to Jennifer about anything for fear of sounding crazy and scaring her away. His best friend in the world, the only person who Marty felt truly understood him, was gone.

I think some pretty significant PTSD would be likely. Marty would have constant nightmares of Doc getting killed. Of trying and failing over and over to save him. And even with his loving, supportive parents doing all they can, it wouldn't be enough. Marty wouldn't feel a real connection to them or want their help. He wouldn't want Jennifer's help. He'd just want Doc back. He'd torture himself with thoughts of what he could have done differently that night he left 1955 or upon his arrival back to '85. He'd blame himself entirely for not trying hard enough. Not being smart enough or brave enough to have done something to save Doc.

Things would only be made worse as rumors swirled around town. Doc would be solidified as a villain in Hill Valley. A crazy, dangerous man who drew terrorists to their quiet little town and almost got a teenager killed. Marty would have to listen to whispers of people's theories as to what happened that night and hear them express their relief that Doc was no longer around to cause them any trouble. People would shoot Marty sideways glances, either looking down on him for having been acquainted with the deranged scientist or holding pity for him. Classmates would harass and taunt him, wanting to know what happened. Wanting to hear the "real story".

All the while, Marty is consumed by a grief he's unable to escape. He'd probably go one of two ways. Too depressed to function, he'd sort of withdraw entirely from life. Break up with Jennifer, shut his family out, abandon his music, etc. He'd see no real point in trying to make a good life for himself and be too anxious to ever move out of his comfort zone. On the other hand, he could give in to his anger and swing the other way, becoming self-destructive and sabotaging his future--drinking, dropping out of school, and using his fists to deal with any peers who dare to say a bad word about Doc. Either way, he'd be upset at himself because he'd know Doc would want better for him. Expect better of him. But he wouldn't be able to pull himself together because he'd be so stuck having convinced himself Doc's death was his fault.

Where would all of this leave our dear Marty as the years pass? I'm not sure. He'd either spiral totally beyond reach or eventually hit rock bottom and realize that he had to let go of all the sadness and anger and live up to all the potential Doc was always saying he had. At that point, though, he would have lost years to his grief, so getting his life together would be difficult. And...yeah.

That was lovely, wasn't it? Doc's turn!

Had Marty actually been killed by Buford (again assuming using time travel to fix things isn't an eventual option):

I feel like, initially, Doc would skip right past the devastated/crying phase and go immediately to a level of anger he'd never felt before. Do you remember how he acted when Buford was harassing Clara at the dance, especially when she was pushed down? Remember how it took 3 of Buford's guys to hold Doc back?? Yeah, well, take that and multiply it a couple of times.

I think it's quite possible that Doc would attempt to take Buford down right there, which likely wouldn't end well for him. But he wouldn't even care. He was heartbroken already over Clara and then his best friend in the world is killed in front of him. All rational parts of Doc would be gone. And seeing as Buford is, you know, dangerously unhinged and has his little posse with him, Doc might end up getting himself killed a minute or two later as well. In which case...well, that would be the end of this scenario. He and Marty would end up buried next to each other in the Old West.

If Doc somehow managed to survive an encounter with Buford, or if he didn't confront him at all because he was in such a state of shock, I think he'd resign himself to a quiet, lonely life in the 1880s. I'm not sure if he'd stay in town and work as a blacksmith. Maybe? If he wanted the distraction? But he also might move away to a little house and just live off the land.

Not sure how Clara would factor in, assuming she'd return to town to find Doc after getting off her train. I don't know if Doc would push her away, wanting to be totally alone in his misery or if he would cling to her.

Doc would be dealing with a lot of guilt. He'd decide that he was responsible for Marty's death. After all, he'd made the decision to stay in the saloon all night, and Marty had to then track him down. Then he'd taken that shot and passed out, costing them valuable time they could have otherwise used to be well on their way to the train. They could have avoided Buford altogether if it weren't for him, Doc would conclude, and in his mind, he'd essentially forced Marty to have to face the man.

Doc might eventually settle into a routine and go about living his life, but I don't know that he'd ever recover from the crushing guilt he'd feel. Losing Marty would shatter him. Marty was the first person to reach out to him, even with all the rumors and disdain other residents of the town threw his way. Marty liked and accepted him for who he was, something no one else had ever truly done. Marty brought so much good into his life, and in exchange, Doc had done all he could to be there for and protect his young friend--to help him see his own potential. But he couldn't protect Marty, and that failure would hurt more deeply than every other one combined.

Basically, I think that Doc would just lose part of himself after losing Marty. Even if he married Clara and had Jules and Verne and ended up with a nice life, he'd always feel the absence of his friend. He wouldn't ever fully be "Doc" again--more of a subdued, more serious version of himself.

I could see him holding it together for the most part, being a family man, all that stuff. But then he'd have moments where he'd find himself alone and just fall apart. And just to make things extra sad for anyone who's read this far, I imagine Doc taking very frequent trips to wherever Marty is buried, laying a few flowers down, and staying there for hours, crying, praying, talking to himself, or just sitting in silence.

Well. Anyway.

Thanks for the ask?

[chaseraynor]

( felix mallard, cismale, he/him, oc ) oh snap! is that CHASE RAYNOR? they work over at high volume where some of the other employees have labeled them as THE CREPEHANGER. that’s probably because they can be a bit ( pragmatic ) but also pretty ( stoic ) they’re TWENTY-THREE and they’ve been living in woodstock for THEIR WHOLE LIFE. it must be their shift because i totally hear ALICE IN CHAINS blasting from the record store. ( aesthetics: worn out black converse, blasting music to block out people’s voices, midnight walks, discarded graffiti spray under his bed, dull eyes ) [ JIA, 27, GMT+3, SHE/HER ]

muse’s anthem: in the end by linkin park

INTERVIEW  | PINTEREST

STATISTICS.

NAME: Chase Andrew Raynor

AGE: 23

BIRTHDAY: May 19

ZODIAC SIGN: Taurus

GENDER & PRONOUNS: Cismale, he/him 

FACE CLAIM: Felix Mallard

PARENTS: Harry (deceased) & Josephine Raynor

SIBLINGS: Dallas (25), Violet (18), Jacob (17) & Kimberly (15)

PLACE OF BIRTH & CURRENT RESIDENCE: Woodstock, Illinois

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual

HEIGHT: 5′10″ (1.78 m)

TATTOOS: the word surrender on his right wrist and two thick black arm bands on his left forearm

BACKGROUND.

Things weren’t always so messy for Chase. Born to Harry and Josephine Raynor, it was just him and Dallas for quite some time while their father was on deployment, making the brothers best friends. It’s safe to say that after Violet, Jacob, and Kimberly came into the picture, the house was loud and rowdy more often than not, but the Raynors were always tight and loving and as simple as you could expect.

Tragedy struck when their father died while on deployment when Chase was fourteen years old, and from there it all went downhill for the Raynors. What was once a happy family, became one plagued with trauma and grief. Their mother never really recovered from the loss of her husband, and she became a ghost of herself. While physically around, she was completely disconnected and it was Dallas and Chase who had to shoulder the responsibility of not only taking care of her, but also look after their young siblings and the house, both of them working while also studying in an attempt to make ends meet.

His plan to leave Woodstock came to life not long after his father died, and he tried to save up while helping Dallas out. Despite the hardships the eldest Raynor brothers encountered, they found support and understanding in each other.

 It was them against the world. Till it wasn’t.

Roughly two years ago, Dallas decided it was time to make his dream alive and leave Woodstock to go on tour with his band, Van Buren. This had come as a big shock to Chase who felt both betrayed and abandoned, as he was left to pick up the pieces on his own. While that showed Chase that the dream of leaving was feasible, it also made things ten times harder for him and hit the brakes on his own plans to leave town because he would never leave his mother and his siblings on their own to fend for themselves when the latter were still so young.

PERSONALITY.

As his label says, he’s a pessimist (however, he’ll call himself a realist). That’s not to say he doesn’t try and work towards his goals, but he isn’t hopeful that anything will happen in his favor, often believing things won’t work in his favor. He believes it’s smarter and easier to navigate life that way. He wasn’t always that way, but with his father’s death and the never ending chaos that ensued afterwards, he became one. He’s direct and straight to the point, not one to waste time or beat around the bush, which makes him a little brutally honest and blunt sometimes and can make him come across as someone who doesn’t talk much. He’s the type that needs to get used to someone before he can comfortably talk to them and joke around. He’s also not one to show his emotions, regardless of what’s going on inside of him, which has given some people the impression that he’s more on the heartless end of the spectrum. His father’s death traumatized him to no end, and he’s never been able to grieve the loss properly.

HEADCANONS.

He’s a very skilled graffiti artist, and has been one since he was thirteen. It’s not something he readily or often shares about himself with people, opting to keep it to himself.

Ever since Dallas left, he hasn’t been able to keep a job to save his life. He’s worked four different jobs, most of which he quit early on. 

He skateboards sometimes.

He played a little soccer in high school, but it wasn’t something he particularly cared about.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

Friends who bicker for the fun of it

Childhood friends

Someone who likes to annoy Chase to get a reaction out of him <3

Someone who knows about his graffiti art (additionally maybe they like it and support him and even watch him while he does his art??)

Exes: could be during high school or more recent and we can discuss specifics!

Sibling like relationship

A one night stand they pretend never happened?? Idk I think it’s funny

Friends with benefits

Someone who wants to break down his walls?? idk

Drinking buddies

Smoking buddies: he’s an occasional smoker

Ex friends: we can discuss what happened!

Someone who straight up does not like Chase

ANYTHING! <3 Give me everything!

@volumeupdates

[kirain]

What's with that post? Dutch LOVES Hosea. They're literally gay. They held hands and raised two sons together. They're so extremely gay, respect it!

Two men: Showing affection

Tumblr: They're fucking!

...In all seriousness, I have absolutely no idea what I said or did to warrant this message, but I can only assume it's because I said in another post that Dutch doesn't respect Hosea? Which he doesn't?

They're supposed to be partners, but he certainly doesn't treat him like one. He doesn't listen to him, he yells at him when he's coughing or in pain, and he makes him sleep on the cold, hard, dirty ground. He even openly ignores him in Colter, in front of the other men, and rides off when he tries to stop him from robbing Cornwall's train. I'm not saying they don't have a rich history or good moments, but it's a toxic relationship at best. Not exactly something worth praising.

If you don't believe me, you can find unique dialogues as the game progresses, verifying he’s lost all faith in Dutch. To the point that he even starts telling other members to leave. Abigail, John, Arthur, Lenny, Tilly, Sadie -- he tells all of them to leave. During a dominoes game we played together he even said, "Maybe it's just me, but Dutch seems to be getting more and more unhinged." And as early as chapter one he told Arthur, "Try to stop Dutch getting all of you killed, because I'm about beginning to think he's finally lost his mind."

There are also other conversations where Hosea’s disappointment with Dutch is far more blatant. He basically tells Arthur he’s been disillusioned for a while and wishes the gang would change, but when Arthur asks what they’d do instead of thieving, Hosea says, “I don’t know. I never knew. Guess I could never figure that out, neither.” By this point he’s just so dejected and defeatist because he knows Dutch won’t listen to him. He also goes on a whole tirade about how they’ve become “nothing but a bunch of killers”, which breaks his heart, and during a random campfire encounter he bares his soul and flat out tells the gang he no longer believes in Dutch’s “we’re above the law” philosophy.

As for the whole "they're gay" thing? Ship whoever you want. I don't care (they're fictional characters, after all). But don't come onto my blog and demand that I "respect it", because I don't. In fact, I vehemently disagree with you.

First off, Hosea was very happily married and totally devoted to his wife Bessie. So much so that after she died, he was drunk and depressed for a year. He even tried to leave the gang once he married her, but he inevitably drifted back into the life of an outlaw when he failed to find adequate work. Keep that in mind, though -- he left the van der Linde gang. He left Dutch. During the hunting mission, Arthur even says, "I remember you were gone for a long while." But according to Hosea, Bessie supported and accepted his lifestyle, since at the time they were more of a community than a “gang”. They actually helped people, like a Robin Hood band of merry men.

Hosea talking about his wife:

"Since she was ... taken from me, I miss her every day. She's what I think about when I wake up, and what I'm still thinking about when I go to sleep. Confuses me. Confuses me to no end, how a wretched sinner like me could be given someone so perfect, so beautiful to take care of. For once in my wretched life, do my best. And then she dies ... and I live on. Well, at least for now. She’s been gone many years. All them years I was given and she was not, and we’re expected to believe in judgement? What kind of a judge would save me and take her? A foolish one I can’t respect anymore than I can respect myself! I miss her so--!” He pauses, nearly crying. “Forgive me for being so maudlin, but ... it’s a fact. I know we all of us seen more death than life these past few months, but ... well, sometimes the unfairness of it all confuses me.”

In addition, when asked who the two most important people in his life are, he mentions Bessie first, before Dutch. Arguably he's known Dutch longer and he’s still alive and active in his life, but Bessie always comes first. He also says he’s “ready to die” because he’s “ready to join her”.

Please don't disregard this. Hosea is an honest, loyal, loving husband. If it was just a matter of you insisting he's gay, I'd probably have less of a problem (because, sure, that can change for some people and maybe he's bi now), but pairing him with Dutch, when he's so wholly devoted to his wife, is just reprehensible in my opinion. Dutch isn’t a good man and he treats Hosea quite poorly.

Secondly, yes, you're partially right. Hosea did raise two kids with Dutch. Actually, he raised four. Arthur, John, Tilly, and Mary-Beth. They were all young teens when they joined, but Dutch and Hosea weren't the only "parents". Grimshaw and Bessie also helped raised them. Arthur even says Bessie taught him how to play dominoes and mentions that he misses her. So I don't really understand the correlation here. You don't have to be in a sexual/romantic relationship to raise kids. And keep in mind that the story takes place during a time when entire communities worked together to raise children. Ever heard the expression "it takes a village to raise a child"?

Overall, I'm simply not comfortable overlooking Hosea's marriage and Dutch's abuse. To put it into perspective, it'd be like writing a fic where Molly and Dutch are in a happy, healthy relationship, despite all the evidence to the contrary. I'm just not the type of person who's willing to change a character's entire personality and history in order to make them fit my personal narrative.

[supercorpkid]

What the hell, you’re in hell.

Part 2 of T is for Trauma - The Series

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader

Word count: 2040.

Warnings: kidnapping. Injuries. Angst.

Previously on the series – part 1

Things have not yet fallen into place with your moms. Of course that, as a family, sometimes you all say things you didn’t actually give too much consideration and end up kind of hurting each other’s feelings on the way. Most of the time, there’s a big apology, hugging and crying. You haven’t done any of those things during the night, and in the morning, you were kind of late for school so you didn’t have time to talk to them. To be fair, you didn’t even see them since your big blow out.

So, after school you say goodbye to Jamie, and decide to walk to L Corp. Since people are now paying more attention to the sky, you don’t want any more pictures of you flying around for a while. You don’t know how your momma pulls off not being recognized just by using glasses and a ponytail, but you sense you might not be able to do the same.

You’re on your way to L Corp to finally talk to Lena. You know that you hurt Kara too, but you did worse with Lena saying you didn’t expect better from her. That was shitty of you, and you know it.

Sure, there were also a bunch of things that you said that were totally true. Now that you think about it, you were only trying to convince yourself that you didn’t care that they never show up at your science fair, physics decathlon, or anywhere else in the school aside from the principal’s office to hear something bad about you. You don’t know why they stopped doing that when you got older, but not seeing their proud and loving face in a sea of people that hate you, really did a number on you.

Jamie has obviously noticed that this was the reason you left in the middle of the event, and she went all therapist Olsen on you and told you, you should tell them the truth. Tell them it hurts, that you miss them there, and apologize for saying it so aggressively.

So, your plan is talking to Lena first, and then buying some donuts and flying to CatCo right after, so you can talk to Kara. You could never know none of these plans would come true.

You’re walking, when you pass a black van parked close to the sidewalk and you feel something burning in your body. That’s so weird, you’ve only felt like this once. And only when you’re shot with a Kryptonite bullet.

You try to run, but your legs feel wobbly, and you can’t go very far before your legs give in and you fall on the ground. You look behind you, to a guy leaving the van, and going towards you. You take off your glasses to see inside the van, but you can’t see anything.

“Lex was right, Kryptonite always works.” You hear when the guy is in front of you, but you can’t see his face, it is covered with a black mask. You know they have kryptonite, but you have to call your momma for help. You put your hand on the watch and he notices your movement. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, child.” He easily lifts you up by the wrist, and takes the watch out.

He is not just a normal guy. You can see by the way he lifts you up like you weigh nothing. He either has super strength or some other kind of power.

“What do you want from me?” You manage to ask and he laughs right at your face. He walks back to the van, you’re still hanging a few feet off the ground, by the wrist. You look around to see if no one is seeing this clearly evil person carrying a girl to a black van, and your answer is that no one is. And the ones that are, certainly don’t care.

“Why would I want anything from a child?” He throws you in the van and you look around to see the kryptonite. It’s so close to you now, that you feel the burn going inside your bloodstream, and you whimper.

You look outside at the man’s hand, and you see him dropping your watch on the ground. He was smart, not to take it with him, ‘cause Kara could track you with it. Your hand goes instinctively to your necklace, as long as you still have that, Lena can track you.

“What do you have there?” One of the other guys notices your hand and tries to take it away from you. You fight, punching him with all the strength you have left, and he falls back with a hand on his nose. But you can’t fight all three of them, not while being exposed to Kryptonite. So, they snatch the necklace out of your neck and dump it on the street.

“No, please, no. It’s just a necklace, it’s my grandmother’s necklace, please.” You cry out, but they take no pity. They close the van and drive you away for good.

You want to take the high road, you really do. You want to go quietly and pretend that you don’t care about the fact that you’re being kidnapped right now, but if there’s a slight chance that Kara can hear your cry for help, then you don’t really care about taking the high road.

So you cry and you scream. You do everything you can to get help before you’re taken to Rao knows where, but help doesn’t come.

You try to use your x-ray vision to know where they are taking you, but, and you can’t believe you’re thinking this, these kidnappers are kind of smart, because they covered the van in lead, so you can’t see out, and Supergirl can’t see in.

“So you work for Lex Luthor. Why is he sending people to kidnap me?” You scoff, with not so much strength left in you.

“I don’t work for Lex!” He yells looking extremely offended by your insinuation. “He simply gave me some ideas, but I’M the brain of this operation.”

“Ok. Then what do you want from me?” You ask again, not satisfied with the last answer. “If you want to fight, stop the car and I’ll fight you!”

“No offense, but I can’t fight you. You’re like twelve.” Offense very much taken, excuse him. “I can’t fight a kid. And I don’t want to anyways, I want Supergirl.”

“Why?” You should’ve known. You always knew someday you would get into serious trouble because some evil jackasses are trying to get to your momma, but right now? While you’re in the middle of a fight with her?

“You’re too young to understand!”

“I’m not too young!” He scoffs like he is sure you’re twelve and you huff. “I’m sixteen!”

“Boss, you said we were kidnapping a kid.” Says one of the other men, looking at you in shock.

“It’s not my fault she looks so young.”

“So you’re ok with kidnapping a kid, but not a teenager?” You ask one of the guys and he looks back at you.

“Shut up, I think you broke my nose, you stupid shit!”

You open your eyes, and look around. You don’t remember closing your eyes in the first place, so it is very surprising when you open them and find yourself in a low light lit room. The only thing you see clear is a chair, and the ‘brain of the operation’ in it.

“Hello child.”

You want to punch his face so badly, but you can’t. They have you wrapped in chains with kryptonite in the middle. It burns so much you can’t even get up from where you’re lying on the floor.

“How long do you think it will take for Supergirl to find you?” He mocks and you try to use your x-ray vision to find out where you are, but it’s all made of lead. “I do think we made it too hard for her. She can’t track you. She can’t see through lead… I wonder if she will find you before the kryptonite kills you because of over-exposure.”

“Let me go.” You grunt, your voice almost gone and you hear laughter in response.

“Your mother put me in jail for years. I had a child too, you see. Now he is a man, and wants nothing to do with me.”

“Is there where you met Lex?”

“Why are you so interested in Lex Luthor? Oh, yeah. He is your mom’s arch enemy” He tilts his head to look at you. “I told him all about my hate for the Supers, so he gave me some ideas. And I guess he was right. I mean, just look at you. You look like you’re dying and I didn’t even have to hurt you.”

“You shouldn’t follow Lex’s footsteps. He is sentenced for a lifetime.”

“I thought you were dying, but you are way too talkative for someone who’s dying. Should I black you out again?”

“Supergirl will find me and you’re going back to jail to keep Lex company for the rest of your lives.” You growl between your teeth.

“I might. Or you might die first and I’ll have the last laugh. I guess we'll see.” He walks to where you are. “I must say, it’s an incredibly powerful feeling to make a Kryptonian bleed.” He stomps on your head, and you see nothing after that.

When you wake up again, you can taste the blood on your mouth. You feel weak and nauseated, and your ears are ringing loudly. You don’t open your eyes, because you also hear muffled voices. It’s hard for you to make up the conversation with the constant noise in your ear. You focus on the conversation, and try to forget the pain you’re feeling.

“She’s totally green. Look at her. She looks like Shrek.” Laughter. “Maybe she died already?”

Nope, still pretty much alive and suffering, thank you.

“Maybe coming to Gotham was a little much. Supergirl will never find her.”

Gotham? Fuck. He is right, your momma might not find you before you die of over-exposure.

“I’m so bored. Let’s go grab something to eat. She’s either dead or dying, so who cares?”

Well, he is right. You are dying.

You open one eye, the one that was not directly stepped on, and you see you’re indeed alone. Ok, you’re dying, but you’re not dead yet. What can you do?

There’s not much in the dim lit room, or at least not a lot you can make out with your one watery eye, anyway. There is one thing, only one thing that can help you. An old radio system. The best kind.

You force yourself up. Your head is heavy and you barely can’t leave it up. You can’t stand up, so you crawl to it. The taste of blood is strong on your mouth, your stomach is twisting and growling inside, you know you’re minutes away from throwing up all over yourself and passing out again.

You open the radio, you’re not even sure how, do you still have super strength? Is it just poorly made? It doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters right now is that you are able to pass your location to someone.

- - . .. -

-- .. -- .- -.

You press the button a few times and close the shell again, crawling back to the place you were, and laying down while panting because of the pain and the effort. You close your eye, and pray to Rao your message is received by them. You pray they’re looking for you. And you pray you don’t die before telling them you’re sorry for all the things you said, and that you love them more than anything in the universe.

It doesn’t take long until you hear the men coming back to where you are. You stay completely still, and even hold your breath to make sure they don’t notice anything.

“See, I told you. Dumb girl didn’t even move. She dead, man.”

She ISN’T dead. But if she gets out of this, you might be, you stupid shit.

[trentsleatherboots]

Carach Angren, interview translation Dutch > English

Published in the magazine Rock Tribune, edition June 2020, nr. 192.

Text by Morbid Geert. Fotos: Stefan Heileman.

WILL THE REAL FRANKENSTEIN STAND UP NOW?

At the end of last year you could already read about how we kept close watch on Carach Angren. Back when they were still heavy in the production process, on Halloween Day we went over to Ardeks homebase and studio to see the first glimpse of their new work and later Rock Tribune got invited to listen to the album in Germany. Now it's almost time for 'Franckensteina Strataemontanus' to be shown to the world and that's why we wanted to take an even deeper look. Weaponed with an oil lamp and shovel we went onwards towards the graveyard to uncover the soul stirrings of Ardek. (Text: Morbid Geert)

---

Ardek, the last time I talked to you the songs were still in a very early stage and what we heard was more of a pre production. Did you tinker more afterwards to come to an end result or did you purposely keep your hands off to avoid overproduction?

"In terms of song structures and lyrics not much changed on the premature songs that you heard. What followed however was another production-finish, where especially the mix and mastering made a big change. That last stadia really lifted it all to another plane and you can really hear that."

A FRESH LOOK.

As far as I knew, Patrick Damiani was still fully onboard working on the songs at Tidal Wave Studio in Germany. How important was it for you to pull an extra producer into the process? After all, you are very much at home with that as well? Or maybe not as much as you'd like?

"Back then he worked on drumediting and played the basslines, but his role is way bigger than that. We've worked together a lot and now we're doing something for L'Âme Immortelle, where we vibe together perfectly and know exactly how to handle such a project.  When he takes on production for Carach Angren however, I notice how much better he controls it. He has so much knowledge about drum sounds, mixing,... and he's really specialised in it. It is nice to add that knowledge, it brings a lot of added value. These days a lot of bands record at home and that all makes it a lot cheaper, but a good producer brings a lot of experience and equipment, it ends up with a whole different result. Besides, we left the mix and mastering to Robert Carranza."

That last one is a pretty big name, who among others worked with Marilyn Manson. I can imagine that has a big impact on your budget, but was it worth it?

"I think so. When I listened to 'Killing Strangers' by Marilyn Manson on headphones and heard the bassline, it went so deep that it turned me upside down. Apparently Robert Carranza mixed that album.  Furthermore he does a lot of different things such as make latin music and win grammy's, but in the extreme metal scene he is totally unknown.  However, he wanted to help himself to our record and yes, the price was steep, but I managed to convince both the band and the label… even though that wasn't without some doubts, since all eyes were on me for a bit. I had a good feeling about it and shared it, with the result being having a record now that doesn't sound like the others.  He had a fresh look on our work and thus we could avoid the recognisability of the average metal producer.  There are too many records that when you hear them you know exactly who had their hands on them and in which studio they were recorded.  Contrary to what you might think, there was constant contact with him (Robert) and a lot of talking about how we wanted it to sound. In particular the clarity of the sound is massive and gives it a bit more of a cinematic effect. There was no compression applied where everything sounds constantly loud and where as a listener you'd get easily tired, but the dynamics were preserved."

DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT ANYMORE.

To refer back to Patrick Damiani: if he does so much and even plays the basslines, do you see him as sort of a 4th band member or is that just a bit too much credit?

"That's not how we see him. He's an amazing producer and musician, who gives us his opinion and helps us out. On the other hand he is not part of the creative process and he isn't on stage with us… but it is a relationship that's been going on for 12 years and something we get a lot out of."

Now I'm saying '4th band member', but after the recordings of your new record ended, your brother and drummer Namtar left the band. Can I ask what happened and if you saw this coming, or whether it was a bolt from the blue?

“In November he recorded his drum tracks and back then everything went fine, but then there came an offer to play at '70000TONS OF METAL'. Since we always looked at the financial side of the band together, we talked about the offer and he was immediately against it.  I thought that was strange and to me it seemed better to sit around the table with three to talk about it. Then it became apparent that he'd been wrestling with it for sometime and in brief didn't feel like it anymore.  We offered him to take a break of a few months instead of just throwing away what we've worked for the last 20 years, but that wasn't a solution.  It wasn't an easy decision, but afterwards we saw it had been an issue for a long time and at that point you rather put a stop to it.  That hit us hard, but you can never force somebody to stay in a band.  To keep our motivation high we played '70000TONS OF METAL' after all with Michiel van der Plicht of God Dethroned as replacement. That pleased us all and he's willing to help us out in the future."

Michiel van der Plicht in indeed an amazing drummer. Are there any plans to keep him in the band permanently or is this an emergency solution and is there an offer still standing?

"I discussed that extensively with Seregor, but together the two of us stay the core of the band. We already have an extra guitarist live and in the studio we will definitely have those people join again, but all decisions will be made by us two in the end.  We want to avoid that other people leave a mark on the band, causing us to lose our individuality (personality). It's about so much more than just making music: the stage decor, our own stage outfits,... for us it is very clear and it's going well, so we only need help to fill in with the music in the studio and during lives."

MILKED OUT?

Let's get to the core of business. At the end of this month is the release of your 6th album, 'Franckensteina Strataemontanus'. Now lends the Frankenstein story itself perfectly for a horror metal band, but I wondered if the story isn't too milked out by other bands… unless you do it with a completely new vision. After all, that's what you did with 'This Is No Fairytale', where Hans and Gretel were transported to the now and the horror became bigger than ever. 

"When we started, I had the same feelings about the Frankenstein story, but there's a twist to it. Everything started for me as a dream, where I flew through an old house. There, I heard dissonant piano tunes and I got sucked into a room where a portrait of an old man hung on the wall. Later I made a drawing of that portrait and it got stuck in my head. When I began doing research for the album months later and even read Mary Shelley's amazing book 'Frankenstein', I found out that there is a theory that when she wrote her book she was influenced by Johann Konrad Dippel, an 18th century alchemist.  Then when I looked him up, he turned out to look like what I had seen in my dream, which personally motivated me to dig deeper. Dippel is an unknown figure for the masses and that's why it seemed fascinating to us to do something with it.  There is fiction and truth mixed in our story. By the way, Dippel lived in Frankenstein Castle near Darmstadt, where he was looking for the elixir to eternal life. He was also a theologist, but he clashed with the church and was therefore cast away. Because he also did experiments on cadavers and sought life extending resources, he would've inspired Mary Shelley for her story. What we did was make a concept around the source of her story instead of following the clichés.  That monster with screws in his head, we've seen it already before…"

Yet it doesn't seem like a concept album, because I notice that you address very diverse subjects.

"It is definitely a concept, since all stories are connected to one another, even if it's not noticeable. 'Operation Compass' is about the North-African desert war between the Brits and Italians. In official documents the Brits were ordered that if there were to be a fallback, to make all sources unusable for the enemy with 'Dippel's oil' (a nasty substance that made water undrinkable but did not poison it, so it was in battle with the Geneva protocols).  In our story it leads to a demonic outburst that went towards the soldiers. So you see, Dippel comes back throughout different moments in history. 'Der Vampir von Nürnberg' is about a real figure that is still alive. He committed necrophilia, killed people and drank their blood, … but is now at large. In our story he lost his ways after reading Dippel's books, which once again links it with the core story. 'Here In German Woodland.', the opening song, is about a boy that gets lost and dies in the forest surrounding Darmstadt, but later comes back and eats his parents. In the closing song 'Like A Conscious Parasite I Roam' it all comes full circle: Dippels life elixir only works for his soul, and his body rots away, so he searches for a guest body and his spirit creeps into that little boy." 

In a few songs, some German lyrics show up. Is that besides the concept also because of the grim sound of the language or is it simply because you live so close to Germany and it has a certain impact? 

"The subject lends itself to it of course and Seregor speaks German very well, which made things easier. And yes, the sound does play a certain role. 'Der Vampir von Nürnberg' sounds way better than the English translation, it immediately sets the right tone."

Some of these stories are the result of reality, but are often at least as gruesome as many fantasy stories: such is the bonus song 'Frederick's Experiments' about the sick science experiments of emperor Frederick II, a man who apparently was not inferior to the Nazi doctors?

"Yes, you can say that he set a good example! Seregor came with the idea and somewhere the story did fit within the total picture, even though we couldn't fit it into the big story. Our label Season Of Mist however asked for a bonus track and that's how we managed to include the song after all."

CROSS-POLLINATION.

What I noticed with the first sneak preview, but what has become clear now, is that Carach Angren this time worked very innovative musically.  Watch out, it is immediately clear that it is from Carach Angren, since you already have your own sound, but at the same time there are noticable things we haven't heard from you before. The title track has a considerable industrial touch and we also hear something from Laibach in it, just like 'Monster'. Is that something you've only recently been getting into or have you maybe secretly been an industrial fan for years?

"It is more recent, even though I've always been appreciative of it. By also collaborating with Till Lindemann for his project Lindemann, I also came into contact with it more and started taking it up unconsciously. Afterwards I got to experiment with it for my solo project and that's how I came up with the song 'Monster'. Seregor tested some things out for singing for that song and it just made sense.  It was very cool to experiment like that, which you should when you're making a record based on Frankenstein…"

It became a musical experiment instead of scientific experiment, but you do create a parallel, yes.

"Inside Carach Angren we like to put a lot of variety in the songs and if you can also give that a different look, then that is something you should try. We ourselves are absolutely crazy about it! Some fans will have to swallow when they hear those songs, but for them there are plenty of old school songs on it."

To come back to Lindemann: he and Peter Tägtgren got you involved since you are so good with classical orchestras and arrangements, but in the end it seems to have become two-way traffic, doesn't it? Have you learned a lot from it and developed other visions? 

"We worked together in a very awesome way and you do learn a lot from that. You grow as a componist, as musician and as producer. It made me compose more compactly and I sometimes pursue slightly less complex songs, like the two more industrial based songs. Always great to be able to take a different approach."

Both those songs have an easier buildup, but in the other songs you go back to the complexity that you left out purposefully 'Dance And Laugh Amongst The Rotten'. Is it a way to generate more contrast?

"In some ways yes, but it depends on how it works out in a song. We tried to make the title track a bit longer, but then the effect fell away and it didn't feel right anymore. But strangely enough I write a complex song like 'Der Vampir von Nürnberg' easier than a less complex piece like 'Monster'.  With less arrangements it quickly becomes hard to keep it exciting(engaging), but seeing as you want to keep the concept to level, you need to have enough variation. The industrial songs sound a bit less complex, but there is a lot happening in the background and they are full of tiny details that make the difference."

MIXING COLOURS.

With the new approach you have opened some doors to maybe do more experimenting in the future. Is that actually your goal or is there nothing reasoned behind it and do such new influences pop up sooner when they seem to be able to improve the song?

"It all almost comes down to what the concept of the album requires. Back when we wrote 'Death Came Through A Phantom Ship' we added swirling waves and custom/adapted sounds to it. With the new record the 'marching' of the pulsing industrial beat seemed to work the best with our Frankenstein theme. You have to see it like a painter who is mixing colours to make a new colour to fit his vision. We don't do any different and we would love to experiment more in the future. If we see what we've already tried with singing now … in the long run we were completely out of control trying to do crazy things."

The singing is indeed a very remarkable part of 'Franckensteina Strataemontanus'. We always thought Seregor had a good black metal voice, but we were very impressed by the way he twisted his voice this time around and helped set the mood.

"We are very happy about that ourselves. He delivered an excellent job and we really pushed everything to get to that point. We actually took several weeks to make sure my home studio was in perfect condition and sometimes Seregor had to redo a certain part up to 10 times to get the result we wanted, but he did it without struggling. A lot of singers that ask so much from their vocal chords are dead on their feet after an hour, but then there is Seregor who gets through the day without complaining, even while screaming his lungs out.  While recording 'Operation Compass' we did however find out it is better to record a deep grunt in the early morning, since your voice is still a bit slow and heavier from sleep.”

MUSIC AS A BOOST.

The whole corona crisis made it so that as a band it is way more difficult to promote an album now, since all concerts got cancelled. Did that have a big impact on Carach Angren or can you make it?

"I myself am very concerned with the people who are really affected by the disease and that is why I can partially ignore the inconveniences for ourselves. Nevertheless, it has a serious effect on the music industry, although that is secondary to me. We are dealing with a pandemic, people are dying and we all have to work to keep everything under control. In addition, it is strange to release an album in a full crisis, but we decided to go for it anyway. It's a cool record and we already started the promotion, so we just keep going. For now, tours are not planned, but that does not mean that we will now stream all kinds of performances to attract attention. We are not that type of band… what is a shame is that our plans for a very cool video clip are now also being abandoned. We had to go to Germany and there are also the social distancing rules, which make such a recording impossible.  But should we really want that and turn it into drama? Of course it sucks to have to promote the release like this, but the whole world is just not what it was a few months ago."

Do you have any alternative ideas to bridge that gap? I know that you guys always have enough visual ideas and there already is a lyric video for 'Monster', but I can imagine that there is more to come.

"We are working on that yes, because last month we made one for 'Der Vampir von Nürnberg' and next month we might take another song in hand. We will keep doing those sorts of things together with some 'making of-' videos that we recorded in the studio, that way we can give the album some extra promotion.  Nothing for us to worry about so… by the way, there is something about releasing a record in times like these. The people have been stuck at home for months and have nothing to do, so if we can give them a new piece of music to listen to to get through the day, then that is awesome too. It would be disappointing for the fans if we just put our new work on the shelf because of this pandemic. Every band should do what they think is best, but we had already started our press campaign anyway and we would also be a lot less driven if we only had to arrive 'with old stuff' within six months or later."

Carach Angren already has a few beautiful video clips which are build up with a real story and don't only have something musical to offer. In addition, there are also the lyric videos, where certainly those for the complete album 'This Is No Fairytale' with comic images by Costin Chioreanu stand out from the crowd. Have you never thought of bundling everything on a DVD?

"We've honestly never thought about that, but that's actually a really great idea! I think it would be nice to bundle everything together and that way we immediately remove some (away) from youtube. That can always be a good idea for the future."

LEARNING SCHOOL.

As songwriter of Carach Angren you may have previously absorbed a lot of influences that shaped you into the musician and songwriter you are today. Can you list the five most essential records or artists that shaped you personally and what exactly were their interests?

"That is a good question that doesn't let itself be answered very easily. In the classical field and orchestras I think Tchaikovsky and Stravinski are very important. They both had a lot of influence on me as a componist. Another important inspiration to me in that respect is John Williams (modern componist famous for his film scores for Star Wars, Jaws, Jurassic Park..) They helped shape me even more when it comes to layered composing, although I don't come close to what they do. As a child I followed keyboard lessons for 8 years, I did a year of conservatory and studied a year of music and media, as well as cinematic orchestration. Those last two were online, but on a serious level and you really had to write pieces for an orchestra. I learned a lot there, but ever since then I kept learning by actually doing it myself, looking through books and analyzing musical pieces.  But if I hadn't gotten the theoretical basis I had as a child, I would've never been able to do this today. On production level I have to mention Nine Inch Nails and, something you'd might find strange, Michael Jackson! If you see how well their albums are produced, and how many layers are incorporated, it's amazingly well done! You can say about Michael Jackson's music what you want, but the way the songs are built up and how much dynamics are in there thanks to the arrangements by Quincy Jones, it is absolutely astounding.  There is no lack of bells and whistles and sometimes, for example, the snare drum comes in in four layers, something you don't hear so loudly even in extreme metal. I mainly listen to those albums as an audiophile to analyze them and see what I can get out of it as a producer. Last week I checked the solo record of Roger Waters, in which I heard effects that seemed to be situated outside the loudspeaker field. Then I want to know how that is done and whether I can integrate it with Carach Angren. That kind of thing is the reverse of the compression they use too often today and you wonder why we don't all go in that direction anymore."

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Translated by Jeordie/Trentsfishnets.

(For the record, if this interview already exists in English, I will just see this as translating practice C:)

[themidnight-ghost]

If we had 5 more minutes

Kate Fleming moves in with Jo Davidson under witness protection. Feelings are discovered, they get a dog, host Jo's first (proper) Christmas, and Kate finally realises what it's like to truly love someone. 

“You can live the life you should have lived. Be free to be the person that you really are.”

“Where do you plan on going next?” Steve took another sip of his beer; god knows what was going on in his friend’s mind. Kate Fleming had been confused ever since she met the infamous Jo Davidson, and after the conversation they just had, he knew Kate would be crazy to let her go.

“Home, probably.”

Steve could hear the uncertainty in Kate’s voice, and he placed a reassuring hand atop of hers, “If you want her, go get her, mate.”

“I’m afraid.” Kate ducked her head, “I know she has witness protection, but something tells me it won’t be enough. I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“Follow your heart. If I deserve a shot, so do you.” He gestured to the harsh autumn air drifting through the slit in the doorway. Kate felt like it was calling her. She knew exactly where she wanted to go and who she needed to see, “I’ll text you.”

Steve Arnott smiled as he watched his best friend grab her jacket and flag down a taxi, “I know you will.”

By the time Kate arrived at Jo’s safe house, it was already 3 am. She felt terrible leaving the woman alone after everything that had happened, but who could really blame her. After knocking on the door 6 times, doubt started to rise in the DI’s chest. What if Jo had forgotten about her? What if she was asleep? What if something terrible had happened?

Fleming knocked again, this time with more urgency.

“Jo? It’s me, Kate. Can you open the door?” After no answer, Kate started becoming illogical. She was never a rational person, often acting on impulse and facing the consequences. It never even occurred to her that Jo could’ve been in the shower. Kate automatically presumed the worst and started looking for a way to scale the building.

Using her detective skills, Kate located a web of ivy stretching up the side of the house. She tugged on it gently at first, then with a little more force before pulling herself up, gasping slightly as a branch gave way but continued to climb, unaware of the approaching figure.

“I didn’t know you have a double life.” A tired Scottish accent echoed through their street, and Kate almost lost her footing, “You look like you’re about to rob me.”  

Thankful that the darkness hid her reddening cheeks, Kate began to make her way down to the former DCI who wore matching sweatpants and sweatshirt.

“Then again, I wouldn’t expect anything less from the woman who saved my life.” Jo twiddled her fingers as Kate approached, not wanting to cross a line.

“It was nothing, don’t worry about it.”

It wasn’t nothing.

Kate still remembered when Steve pulled over the van, how she froze after seeing Jo in such a dangerous position. The DI wanted to say something when they switched places, caress her hand as a sign of good luck, kiss her goodbye or reassure her that everything would be okay. Instead, she waited in silence as Jo was taken away from her yet again.

Unable to take the stillness, Kate spoke again, “How are you feeling?”

“I can’t sleep,” Jo admitted with a sad smile, “I’m constantly locking my doors, checking behind me and closing curtains. I want it to end, Kate.”

The DI wasn’t ready for such an honest confession, but she presumed it was because Jo had nothing left to lose - everything she had was now lost or a lie.

Kate automatically stepped forward, “It will end. The Gaffer’s picked out a place for you, somewhere in the country but still close to this place. You’ll be under witness protection. It’s like I said: you can live the life you should’ve lived.”

“Alone?” Jo’s accent was unusually weak. Alone was the harsh reality Jo didn’t want to admit true. She wanted nothing more but for Kate to come with her and live out a life together free of AC-12 and the OCG, but both women knew that wouldn’t be possible. Kate had a son and her job. Besides, Jo wasn’t worth loving.

Kate Fleming felt the same way. Every instinct in the DI’s body was begging to run to the smaller woman and hold her tightly in her arms, never letting go. It wouldn’t be practical. No one was supposed to know about Jo’s location, not even Hastings.  

“I’m sorry, Kate. Forget it; I’m the last person you’d want to be stuck with.”

Jo clearly still felt guilty about leading Kate to her death, but all of that was in the past. Kate didn’t care, and driving off into the night regardless of previous events was the best decision Kate had ever made.

“Jo, wait.” The DI instinctively grabbed the smaller woman’s wrist, stopping her from leaving, “Hear me out. I’ve never considered myself as anything other than straight, but that’s changed.”

Jo liked how Kate’s hand felt, securely wrapped around her wrist and never letting go. It felt safe like nothing can hurt her anymore.

“Christ, I’ve never been good at wording things or forming sentences, but I’ve never felt this way before, and I feel like a child.”

It only just occurred to Jo that this could be a confession.

“You’re so perfect. And even with everything you have going on, you’re still perfect even if you don’t think it now. And in the un-weirdest way possible, I want to follow you.” gentle drops of rain fell from the sky, “I want to follow you to the country, to England, to France, to wherever. Just so I can be with you. And I feel guilty that it took me this long to tell you because if something, anything happened in that prison, I don’t know what I’d do.”

At first, Jo thought this was a sick joke set up by AC-12 to get revenge, but the only thing in Kate’s eyes was honesty.

“You mean that?” The former DCI mentally cursed at her answer.

Taking both of Jo’s hands, Kate pulled her close.

“Of course I mean that. I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.” Something clicked, “I’m going to do everything I can to go home with you.”

And for the first time in ages, Joanne Davidson smiled. Too absorbed in the DI’s presence to consider anything else, she hesitantly cupped Kate’s face, pressing their foreheads together in the rain.

“Come home with me, Kate.”

☁️ ------------------- ☁️

Even though Kate doubted witness protection, she’d pulled a couple of strings that allowed her to move in with Jo. Initially, Kate had used Jo’s history with the OCG to convince AC-12 to let her move in, but as more truths became unearthed, Kate outed herself to Carmichael and was given the nod of approval.

It wasn’t the way Kate wanted it to go, but it still worked, and the DI wasn’t complaining. She still kept her job, her best friend, all whilst getting to live with the woman she... loved? Kate was still wavering about that word.

“I didn’t think it would be this big,” Jo spoke over the radio as the pair pulled into the driveway of a rural cottage.

Kate smirked, “Only the best for the best.”

Matching Kate’s humorous tone, Jo pointed to the ivy snaking up the trellis.

“Just in case you feel like climbing into the house again.”

“I was worried, yeah?” Kate gently nudged the smaller woman in the passenger seat, “Besides, I didn’t feel like waiting around all night.”

“Thank you, Kate.” Jo took the DI’s hand, pressing a kiss to her knuckles, “For everything.”

“You really need to stop thanking me for everything. Give yourself some credit, Jo.”

“Let’s not go there just yet.” Jo unlocked the car door, becoming Kate to follow.

The DI knew Joanne still had problems with her role in their relationship. She believed that everything she did was selfish and wrong, refusing to see the good aspects like when they got drinks together or walked back to Kate’s drunk and free. Free from AC-12 and the worries of life outside and inside of work. When they walked hand-in-hand, looking at the moon whilst convincing themselves this was a totally platonic thing. Jo was yet to know that she helped Kate discover who she truly was and where she belonged.

Unlocking the little red door, Jo’s mind started to buzz. What colour would the walls be? Where would the kitchen go? Is the wall big enough for a tapestry?

“It’s a tad… plain,” Kate commented.

“That’s the point!” Jo enthusiastically hugged the DI, “We get to choose how to live. For once, we are in control.”

Witnessing Jo so excited made Kate’s heart flutter. Consumed by euphoria, Kate picked up her lover and spun her around in their new living room, their laughter bouncing off the walls and filling the space.

The pair ended by facing each other, breathing heavily through bubbles of laughter.

“What colour should the kitchen be?”

“Green,” Jo tucked a strand of hair behind Kate’s ear, “With a gold tint.”

Kate smiled at Jo’s newfound confidence, “Sound good, boss. Ever thought of getting a dog?”

“Please, Kate,” Jo became solemn, “You don’t need to call me boss anymore.”

Kate took her hand, “But, I thought that was our thing? If you want me to stop, I will.”

Jo inhaled deeply. There are certain things she didn’t want to address, especially after the moment they just experienced. That being said, Joanne Davidson knew the key to any healthy relationship was communication.

“Can we just start again?” Jo fiddled with her fingers, something she always did when anxious, “I don’t want to remember what I put you through or the pain you faced because of my mistakes.”

“I’m sorry, Jo, but I don’t want to start again.” Kate touched the older woman’s shoulder, “Those experiences, they make us who we are; it’s why we’re so close. The universal experience we share with AC-12 and the OCG: it’s us, and I don’t want to forget that.”

Witnessing the walls of Jo’s mental castle crumbling, Kate continued.

“You made mistakes, we all do. It’s what makes us human. We learn from them, adapt, overcome, and that isn’t anything to be ashamed of. Even if forgetting was possible, we can’t pick and choose to get rid of the bad and keep the good. You must find good in the experience. To me, that good is you, Jo.”

Jo buried her head into the crook of Kate’s neck, “I don’t deserve you.”

“I could say the same.”

The pair stayed like that for what seemed like hours. Jo cried it out into Kate’s chest, gripping her shirt as the DI whispered honest words of comfort.

☁️ ------------------- ☁️

After adjusting to their new life, the couple decided to take that exciting yet predictable step and get a dog. It was something Kate Fleming had wanted to do for a long time, and Jo was in no place to stop her. The agreement was that if Jo designed the house, Kate could design the dog… or something as such.

After rolling down the windows, taking many wrong turns and singing Taylor Swift at the top of their lungs, the couple eventually reached the pet shelter.

They held hands as they walked through the kennels.

“What are you looking for, Kate?”

The DI hesitated, spoilt for choice, “Something with personality and spirit.”

“Sounds like a tough one-”

“Christ, what the hell is that!” Kate abruptly pulled away, running over to one of the kennels, “It’s some sort of hairless rat.”

Jo tried her best not to laugh at her girlfriend’s antics, “Kate, you can’t just say that. You’ll hurt its feelings!”

The DI kneeled over in a fit of laughter as the hairless rat-dog chirped towards them, and this time it was Jo’s turn to laugh at the little dog as it spun sporadically in circles.

“Look at the tufts of hair poking from its chin!” Kate mocked before focusing her attention elsewhere, “What have you seen?”

Jo wordlessly pointed to the kennel housing a golden labrador. His eyes were kind and gentle, and he greeted them with a waggy tail. Both women crouched by the glass, Kate resting a hand on Jo’s shoulder for support as the former DCI pressed the palm of her hand against the kennel bars. The dog was cautious at first but started licking Jo’s palm delicately.

“He reminds me of myself,” Jo murmured, and Kate wanted her to continue. The DI never expected Jo to relate to a dog. A hawk maybe but never a dog, “In prison, I mean.”

“He reminds me more of Steve; look at his mug.” The quip Kate made to lighten the mood worked, and soon the couple had signed the papers and were driving back home to Taylor Swift, Steve the dog accompanying them in the back seat.

Jo’s first rule was that Steve wasn’t allowed on the bed. The second was that he couldn’t chew anything of value in the house. Unfortunately for Jo, Steve and Kate ignored both of them.

It started when Kate heard Steve crying in his bed, so she naturally felt sorry for the animal and brought him upstairs to sleep with the couple. All was going well until Steve the dog slotted himself between the pair, separating them for the entire night.

“Come on, mate,” Kate whispered as she pulled the dog back, “I’ve spent enough time without her already.”

After about 10 minutes of trying to move the labrador, Joanne Davidson’s tired voice muffled into the pillow: “I told you the dog shouldn’t be allowed on the bed, Kate.” The DI knew Jo was smirking from how she said her name and decided to get her own back. She refused to spend any more nights without Jo wrapped in her arms.

Climbing past Steve the dog and over the blankets, Kate adjusted herself in the darkness, so she was lying comfortably on Jo’s back. Rolling her eyes, Jo shuffled upwards, letting the DI snake her hands around her waist and cushion her head in Jo’s neck. Jo seriously considered letting Steve sleep on the bed every night.

☁️ ------------------- ☁️

With no recent actions from the OCG, AC-12 gave Kate the go-ahead to release details of her and Jo’s location to 2 people maximum. It wasn’t a debate. Fleming approved Steve and Ted in a heartbeat, making sure they knew the pans for Christmas eve.

Jo Davidson had never spent Christmas with someone before, never mind someone she loved. Even with Freida, Jo had been alone, never fully able to relax or enjoy the rainbow lights and festive music, but as she sat snuggled in front of the wood burner with Kate, she was entirely able to absorb the atmosphere:

Their Christmas tree in the corner, Steve the dog chewing a candy cane, stockings over the fireplace, the unfinished gingerbread house on the kitchen counter, Christmas music outlining the walls and being curled up in the arms of the love of her life as she breathed gently on her neck whilst reading a book.  

“I know you’re unsure about the L-word….” Jo trailed off, once again twiddling her fingers.

Kate kissed her cheek, “Lesbian?”

The former DCI wanted to be as honest as possible, “You know what word I mean, Kate. And I know it scares you.” A beat, “You are in no position to say it back, but I need to tell you that I love you, Kate.”

Kate reassuringly rubbed Jo’s side.

“You love me?”

At that moment, Jo felt a wave of embarrassment overtake her. She felt like a child in a playground handing their crush a dandelion. The former DCI tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and nodded shyly.

“You mean a lot to me, Jo,” Kate admitted with a smile. She had been brainstorming how to say the L-word without actually having to say it, “More than most people and you need to know, you’re the most important person in my life.”

Content with the answer, Jo snuggled into her lover’s side, drifting away to the sound of carol singers and church bells.

Forgetting to send Steve and Ted a text not to ring the bell, she was thankful to see them (mainly Steve) making ‘lovey dovey’ faces through the window. Kate rolled her eyes at her friends’ antics, cautiously prying herself away from the smaller woman and opening the door, pressing a finger to her lips.

“We didn’t mean to wake you,” Ted said sincerely, placing the bag of Christmas presents on the table.

“Oh, it’s fine,” Kate admitted, “It was mainly Jo anyway, her nightmares are on and off, and last night wasn’t the greatest. But you-” She turned to Steve,

“Finally got the girl I see?” Her best friend greeted her with a witty remark and a hug.

Ted peered into the couple’s living room where Jo slept to admire their tree.

“No star?” He questioned.

Kate assessed Steve’s Christmas eve takeaway, “Jo said her mum had a tradition where they put the star up on Christmas day. I figured we’d keep it alive.”

“You should go wake her, mate. God knows how she’ll react to someone in her house. Nevermind us of all people.” Steve mentioned, not wanting to make a bad impression.

“Just don’t break anything.” Kate quipped.

Steve the dog and Steve the person got along surprisingly well, and when not being interviewed about the OCG, Jo and Ted actually had a lot in common. All four shared Steve’s Christmas eve takeaway whilst watching ‘Love Actually’ and, much to Kate’s dismay, started on her trifle during ‘A Muppets Christmas Carol’. The night ended with an excitable game of charades in which Steve and Jo had to act out Scooby and Shaggy - Steve gave Jo a piggyback around the cottage, both adults screaming with glee as they paraded around.

To be honest, Jo didn’t have high hopes of keeping a relationship with Ted and Steve, especially after Operation lighthouse. It was unfortunate because Kate cared so much about them, and despite not knowing them, it automatically made Jo care about them too.

Christmas day passed too quickly. They started by opening presents. Kate got Ted a ‘Worlds Best Dad’ mug, and Steve bought him a customised top saying: ‘Not H’.

As well as last night’s takeaway, Steve bought Kate a sign he stole from AC-12 whilst drunk (don’t ask how he didn’t get caught) and an Alexa. Kate went for a more classy option: a framed photo of them wasted at a karaoke bar.

Finally, it was Jo’s turn. Due to Kate’s last-minute planning, the former DCI had no chance to buy Ted or Steve anything, but they didn’t mind; they hadn’t formed enough of a bond yet. However, Kate insisted she presented her present first. The DI could hear her heart thumping in her ears as she handed Jo the small jewellery box containing 2 necklaces, each with a personalised pendant: a small silver gun, the other a golden car. Jo admired them with adoration; every detail had been etched into the metal, even the make of Steve’s getaway vehicle.

“A matching set?”

“To remind us of how far we’ve come.”

Jo wasn’t sure how her present could top Kate’s but proceeded with the gift-giving. It was a weighted blanket, a set of bond touch bracelets for when Kate went back to work and a cute little photo book personalised with added newspaper clippings, annotations, dates and locations relating to their relationship.

Jo’s act of love deeply touched Kate’s heart. A series of small yet meaningful presents was definitely her speed, and Kate couldn’t stop herself from flicking through the photobook and admiring all the small details like her favourite colour, preferred flowers and location coordinates which Jo had marked in.

“It’s adorable. Thank you, Jo.”

Jo simply nodded as she sat in Kate’s lap, fiddling with the silver gun around her neck. Kate Fleming had the car, of course.

Unable to move after the Christmas dinner, the group spent the rest of Christmas relishing each others company. Jo and Kate started by carelessly putting up the star, the former DCI needing a lift from her girlfriend to reach the top of the tree. Human Steve was with dog Steve, Ted had a cuppa and a newspaper, commenting on various political events, occasionally uttering a ‘mother of god’ making Kate, who was now squashed under Jo Davidson, chuckle.

That was the first Christmas where Jo had properly smiled.

☁️ ------------------- ☁️

Kate Fleming had been married once, and it was a disaster. Let’s just say she wasn’t ready for it. She had too many regrets, doubts and problems in her own head. That marriage put her off love for a while. Not only that, but the universal experience of being heartbroken was enough to make her want to stay single forever. That was the plan until Joanne Davidson arrived. Jo Davidson helped Kate discover who she was and become comfortable with her sexuality. The woman who helped her embrace the demons, who humbled her whilst building her up and never tore her down.

The DI was on the fence about her feelings until she almost lost Jo at the shootout with Ryan Pilkinton. On that night was when Kate decided to take Jo and run, the city wasn’t safe, and the pair wanted out. Unfortunately, the plan didn’t work.

That’s why Kate was standing by the door, ring in pocket, dog lead in hand, ready to propose to the woman she loved.

“Ready to go?” Greeted the Scottish accent she loved so dearly.

“I’m the one waiting for you, boss.” Jo lovingly ruffled the DI’s hair as she stepped out of their cottage, taking a freeing breath of air; she grinned when Steve bounded behind her and Kate linked their arms.

It was autumn again. The couple proceeded to the nearby hill path, through the arching oak trees, across the wooden bridge kate thought how nice it was to see Jo free from all those layers she used to wear at work. The former DCI swished her legs through the sea of leaves, and Kate did the same, both women snickering like toddlers when they flew up in her face.

Kate knew Jo would want something intimate and private rather than exotic and loud, so she planned to propose at the top of the hill which overlooked the city. Kate had timed the walk perfectly so the sun would set, and she could properly see the golden tones reflecting on her lover’s face.

Finally reaching the top of the hill, Kate admired how perfect Davidson looked as she gazed contently at the sunset, contrasting against the flushed sky. Steve the dog sniffing around for squirrels Kate realised they had the perfect family.

“Jo?” Kate looked calm, but inside, she was terrified of rejection, “Forgive me for not saying this earlier; I just didn’t know how to word it.”

Aware that she had Jo’s full attention, she swallowed the nonexistent doubt and continued.

“I love you. I love how sweet you are with kids. I love how you get sleepy when it rains. I love how you fiddle with your fingers when nervous. I love how you’re obsessed with skittles but only the yellow ones. I love how you turn your head into my hand when I play with your hair. I love how insanely ticklish you are. I love how you adore being the little spoon, even if you won’t admit it for anything. I love how you drive so. So carefully when someone else is in the car. I love how you can’t pass a field of cows without saying ‘cows’. I love how you hug every dog you see. I love how you scrunch up your nose when you feel like you’re going to sneeze.”

Kate knelt down on one knee.

“I love your fear of fireworks. I love how cuddly you are when you’re tired. I love all of that and everything else too, and I could keep going all day with listing all the millions of things that make you Jo. I love you, Joanne Davidson, and I am always going to love you.”

She pulled the box from her pocket, presenting it to her lover.

“Joanne Davidson, will you marry me?”

Jo looked starstruck, but after what seemed like hours, she shook her head. Kate went numb, her face fell, and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. The DI didn’t even feel Jo take the box from her hands’ nevermind see Jo taking a knee.

“You seem to be giving all the speeches lately.”

The Scottish accent pulled kate out of her daze, and the taller woman tenderly gasped at the sight of Jo Davidson, down on one knee and offering her a ring.

“I don’t think you realise the impact you’ve had on my life, Kate. You saved me. Not just from the OCG but from myself, and I don’t know how to ever thank you for that. Through the time we’ve known each other, you’ve been my knight in shining armour. You stormed the tower-like Flynn Ryder when Rapunzel needed help, risked your job just to get us out of the city. You intercepted the transport vehicle, and without you, I wouldn’t be here today.”

Jo couldn’t contain her grin as she witnessed Kate's reaction.

“The only time is smile is when I’m with you, Kate. I can be myself around you, and I’ve never been more thankful to have someone in my life. When we first arrived, you told me that we shouldn’t start again because our story makes us who we are. I’m ashamed it took me so long to realise this. We’re here today because we made choices we can’t change, and even though it’s broken me and built me back up, there’s no one else I’d rather go on this journey with. You, me and Steve, of course.”

Kate felt like she was on top of the world and the following sentence was everything she wanted to hear and more.

“Please, Kate Fleming. Will you marry me?”

Obviously, Kate said yes.

☁️ that ending honestly makes me feel sick so I wrote my own. I'm glad Jo found happiness - she deserved it. but we all know it should've been with Kate. thank you for reading bestie x 😔 ☁️

[twdmusicboxmystery]

FTWD 7x09: Follow Me - Details

Okay, let's talk details. Much of what we saw in this episode, especially the stuff having to do with music, was a symbol and a foreshadow for something. In general, I think all of the musical stuff—stereos, musical instruments, the playing of music, etc.—is symbolic of Beth in some way and what her arc will eventually be.

For example, when Alicia wakes up and first finds Paul in the house, she throws the stereo to the ground and breaks it. It stops making music. That is insanely close to the function of the music box, and how when they found it, it was broken. But eventually, it started making music again.

I also think it's interesting that Paul says he found Alicia passed out in the barn. Barns are very potent symbols that we've seen plenty of times in the show. Especially in 5×10 Them, they had had quite a few very obvious Beth/resurrection symbols in it. 

Barns always seem to be places of refuge or safety, albeit a temporary one. TF took refuge in the barn from the storm. A couple of seasons ago, when Eugene and Rosita got separated, Daryl and some others found Eugene in a barn. I remember comparing that heavily to the barn in Them. So, even though we didn't see a barn in the episode, it's important that Paul found Alicia there. Perhaps the barn represents the place where they'll find Beth. I don't know.

Alicia then makes mention that all of Paul's instruments are broken. Much like the stereo, we have objects that used to play music, but that are now silent because they had been injured in some way. Sound like Beth to you?

I noticed that when Alicia and Paul were talking, there was a pink speaker on top of the piano. I think it just caught my eye being pink. When Arno and his guys arrive, looking for her, the speaker is gone. That's because they moved it so Alicia could hide inside the piano.

Think about that. She was hiding inside the piano. So, we have music that's broken, but also music as protector and music a savior. I'll come back to this in just a minute.

It’s also important that anytime someone says the instruments are broken, Paul rejects that word, saying instead that they’re just “out of tune.” So, to him, they aren’t totally dead, a lost cause, or something to be written off. They just need a little fixing or TLC. 

Some tiny, random things: Alicia has an “oh,” line. And when Paul gives her from medicine, they’re red pills. Matrix reference. 

She and Paul go to the music hall and Arno also shows up there. There's a point where Alicia and Paul jump into a van to get away from the walkers. The stereo Paul had come to get is dropped on the ground outside and most likely broken. I couldn't quite articulate to myself why that was important. The van reminded me of Aaron and Daryl at the wolf trap in 5x16, but I was trying to figure out the significance of the stereo being on the outside.

Then @wdway pointed out that because we believe Beth was left in a car, the car functions as a trunk or tomb symbol. The importance being that when Beth wakes up and comes out of the car, it becomes a resurrection-from-the-tomb symbol. Or rather, the car is just the tomb that she came out of. But again, the music was on the outside. I think the thing that's important here is that it was a broken stereo left on the outside. It's almost like if he’d gotten out to get it, he would have died. But the music was in the tomb with him as well and he just didn't realize it.

After Paul and Alicia talk, he realizes there's stereo on the inside with them as well. It was there all along, but he just didn't appreciate it.

So, it’s kind of like leaving death outside the car, and not chasing after it, but choosing to live. The other thing is that he THOUGHT his stereo was dead, and that was his only chance at having music. But he didn’t realize that wasn’t case. Kinda like TF thinking Rick and Beth are dead. They just don’t realize they’re actually somewhere else and still alive.

This is also a bit like Sasha. She was enclosed an actual coffin at the end of S7, but she had music with her inside. And using that music, she managed to give TF a chance to win the war.

I think Alicia hiding the piano functions in a similar way. It’s like a tomb enclosing her. But she would come out of it at some point. So, it represents both death and resurrection. It's also important that when she was laying in the piano, one of the keys stopped working. So, while she was in the tomb, the music was broken. But obviously when she got out and wasn't laying on top of the strings anymore, the music started playing again.

So, much like with the music box, the music playing again represents resurrection, joy, and Beth coming back. Of course, we've known all that since 5x10 when the music box sprang back to life. This episode simply reinforced it over and over again.

As I said yesterday, this is all part of the theme that Beth’s music went silent in Coda, especially for Daryl. Beth learning to sing again, which perhaps feeds into the idea of her getting her memories back, is what will save TF again. And it will probably happen during CRM war.

Of course, Alicia tells Paul about her dream, and he counsels her to listen to her inner voice.

When Arno’s people attack them at the end, in the house, there are a lot of really interesting symbols. Paul uses a guitar to attack Arno’s people. So once again, we have music as a weapon. As he sneaks up behind Arno, he also holds the bagpipes as though they are a weapon, cradling them like he would a long-barreled gun. 

Then something super interesting happens. The speakers eventually short out. The shorting out of the energy, which kills the music, it's probably a variation of the battery theme. 

Without the battery, the music dies. It’s right after the battery died and the music stopped that Paul was shot. That's highly symbolic replay of what happened at Grady. 

The battery had no charge, the music died, and Beth was shot.

I really like the end where Arnold played the bagpipes and saved Alicia. I thought it was a very powerful and compelling scene.

Then there's the dream of a little girl. As I said yesterday, at first I wasn't sure what it meant, or even if it was real. After re-watching it with all these musical analogies in mind, and especially keeping in mind that Paul told her to listen to her own inner voice, I'm pretty sure little girl represents Alicia. It represents her inner child or her inner voice that she needs to listen to.

Of course, we saw the walker in the dream sequence become Alicia, but I think the little girl represents her too. If you listen to what the little girl says, thinking that this is Alicia, her sure inner voice that she needs to listen to, then what little girl says makes more sense.

Alicia: You again? Are you okay?

Girl: I will be. If you can help me, maybe I can help you.

I think it just means that if Alicia is willing to listen to that inner voice, as Paul told her too, she’ll finally be able to help her people, find Padre, and perhaps it will be what leads her to realize her mother is still alive.

Probably really similar to what we’ll eventually see with Daryl that will lead him to Beth. The whole “what changed your mind” and following his heart theme.

Those are most of my big takeaways. But several of my fellow theorists had a lot of good insights on this all paste their comments below.

@wdway:

@twdmusicboxmystery, I finished your Fear post a few minutes ago. Enjoyed it as always and you talking about Beth and music in the coming storyline made me smile because it was just a another occasion where we are sharing the same line of thought.

Last night I mentioned Beth and how little music, or I should say music with lyrics, people actually singing, are heard playing over certain scenes since Beth has been gone. You wrote in you post that you think there possibly could be a connection with Beth singing and the war with the CRM. Your thoughts on Beth and music help me to clarify a few of my own thoughts on the same subject.

I started thinking about how the writers under Gimple's leadership have used Beth and her music in TWD and how that might hint at how she will be used in the future. The first time we heard her sing was in s3e1, the first night after TF secured the outside area of the prison. Rick was patrolling the fences while Daryl and Carol were on top of the overturned bus. (Carol trying to persuade Daryl to fool around). When Beth started to sing, Rick seemed to be drawn back from his patrolling to join the group, as were Daryl and Carol.

By the time Beth had finished her song, the entire group were together again, one unit. Rick gave a rallying speech and plans were made for taking the prison the next day.

The next time Beth song was when they were about to do battle with the Governor and Woodbury. Everyone was lost in their own thoughts. They were in the same large space but in their own little worlds. Beth began to sing a song about holding on. We saw Rick joining the gathering. Merle even was drawn into the room by her voice. Rick made plans for a trip to find weapons.

In Alone, her audience was a single person, Daryl. He was drawn into the room by her singing, Be Good. I believe her singing calmed Daryl and gave him rest before his next challenge. Alone was the last time that we heard Beth sing. At Grady she told Edwards that she still sang. With Joan, she did not sing but she hummed a song that awakened Joan and gave her a moment to collect herself before Joan had to face her enemies.

In remembering these scenes, it made me realize that Beth’s singing draws people to her. She is not the one that would be raising the saber, leading the army into battle. That would be someone more like Rick. She's the one that prepares the way. Her singing would be what would clear their minds and hearts to motivate them to fight. Beth is the physical Battle Hymn. This is just my take on what Beth and her singing might represent in the story going forward.

@galadrieljones:

I love what you've added about Beth's "role" as a sort of bard, or a person who brings people together and increases morale through the power of song. The thing about bards, too, is that traditionally they also often served as spies in medieval times. They would travel around telling and collecting stories and information and then return to the patron or noble to whom they were employed. Bards as spies is a great trope that appears in some other media, especially in the fantasy genre. They are unassuming and most people find them to be harmless due to their genial, warm, musical, and poet nature; however, they can be a secret weapon, too, when it comes to information warfare.

I liked what you said, MusicBoxMystery, about the loss of hearing as being sort of like a loss of part of oneself. It reminds me of Alicia losing her arm, and how that stands in for so much other loss, and how this also resembles Joan at Grady. Loss in this show is usually centered around loss of a loved one, but loss of a physical attribute is a good manifestation in a character that something is "missing." Daryl loses his wing, Carol cuts off all her hair, Aaron loses his arm, Negan loses his bat, Carl loses his eye, Hershel loses his leg, John Dorie loses his tooth, Morgan loses his stick, etc. etc.

It's just interesting to think about how Alicia lost her arm and, in the episode, she talks explicitly about Madison and Nick and how losing them meant she lost a part of herself, because she realized they had been her voice for so long. Now she has to find her own voice. It was a very beautiful symbolic story about growing up, I think, and it does make me think about Beth perhaps losing her memory, losing her innocence, losing Daryl, etc.

In terms of Alicia as a Beth character, I totally agree. When she sees the little girl, I thought at first the girl was real, but then at the end, I thought perhaps she was Alicia as a child. It's going to be important for Alicia to remember who she was before in the days to come, as she goes to war with Strand who at one point she regarded as a very close friend, and who was very close friends with her mother. If Madison does indeed come per her call, then I believe this is the only thing that will stop Strand and force his surrender. I don't believe he'd deny her pleas. I believe seeing her again would soften him and force him to reckon with the person he's become.

Some other things I noted: The use of hallucinations and mixed perceptions in this episode were reminiscent of Find Me. Alicia finds herself inside a strange house with a stranger, and the house is full of red imagery. The bagpipes are accented in red, as are the strings on the cello, the walls, etc. It seemed like a "limbo" place, sound-proofed and cut off from the world, as Paul was living there in almost suspended animation after the death of his wife, unable to move on and struggling desperately to drown out the memories of her screaming.

Alicia then wakes up here in a similar boat--on the run, afraid to look back for what she's caused, but afraid of moving forward for fear she'll fail once more. Alicia is also in some sort of literal "limbo" as she is infected with the zombie virus, but the virus seems unable to kill her. She has fevers which leave her in a dream state and constantly sick, but she doesn't die. Still, she can't fully "live" either. So, the house is like a portal, sort of like the cabin in the woods. In the end, too, it literally becomes a tomb, just like Leah's cabin did.

There was also this shot, which was sort of thrilling for me. It reminded me of the shot of Daryl's green-nocked arrow in Home Sweet Home--the arrow which seems to come out of nowhere. Daryl is otherwise carrying two red arrows in his quiver in HSH. Then, in "Find Me," Daryl will be carrying green arrows in the beginning of the episode, until he gets closer and closer to Leah's cabin, where they become red. Then, when we enter flashbacks, Daryl is always carrying two red arrows in his quiver. The arrows get redder the closer he is to the death realm. The green "surprise" or hidden arrow that he shoots in Home Sweet Home is like a warning signal that he still has one foot in the land of the living.

So, I basically saw this shot as being a sign that Alicia is somewhere close to the Underworld. I can't tell what exactly the object is that Paul stabs the walker with. At first, I thought a protractor? But it is probably something related to music.

@wdway:

The object that he stabbed with to kill the Walker is part of the turn table. It's the arm that holds the needle that gives the sound from the record.

The other shot that you were wondering about confused me also, until I really stared at it for a while and then it made total sense, you're going to love this one.

That silver thing is duct tape. It's a patch used to repair where the bagpipe bag was damaged. Someone fix the music! They focused in on the Walker first and then the bagpipes.

@galadrieljones:

The acoustic guitar being used as a weapon also reminded me of Beth quite a bit. They show the acoustic guitar in the beginning of the episode, and then in the end Paul uses it as a weapon, sort of like Chekov's gun. It did make me think about Beth using music as a weapon, or music as a weapon specifically. In World Beyond, they also use loud music to attract walkers into large gatherings and kill them. I can't remember what those places are called. Something about "culling?" Where Dennis and Silas work.

Other things: Paul's red and yellow plaid shirt is a lot like Morgan's red and yellow plaid shirt in both "Clear" and "Here's Not Here." When it’s worn as clothing, yellow, being associated with Beth, Hershel, and Eastman, and now Max and Connie, seems to be associated with “guide” characters, or characters who bring clarity. But the juxtaposition with red is a hint that Paul, like Morgan was, is not fully “guided” himself, that he is still somewhere caught in the middle. He is the bringer of clarity for Alicia, but he needs help, too.

Red/yellow also appear in Beth’s wardrobe, in “Still,” after Daryl spatters her with blood. I think this fits the same sort of pattern. Beth was Daryl’s guide, but she also needed to grow out of certain immaturities and weaknesses.

Sorry, as usual, I have too much to say lol. I really loved this episode. With all the music theme stuff, I was super keyed in. I was thinking about Alicia's fevers, and her illness. It's still really unclear what's going on with her, and why the virus doesn't kill her. It seems maybe it's triggered some sort of autoimmune response that flares up from time to time. But I was thinking like, they can't leave her like this forever. I think it's unlikely they'll kill Alicia. Other than Morgan, she's kind of the main hero now. Killing her would be a major blow, especially with them bringing Madison back. Are they going to bring Madison back just to kill off her last remaining child? Seems brutal. So, it got me thinking, like, maybe with Alicia, they're moving toward a cure. And maybe that moves us closer to what was going on at Grady? Just a thought.

A couple random things: Paul says something that made me think of Beth, Daryl, and of Team Delusional. He says: "Just because you can't hear music doesn't mean you can't feel it." Just made me think of the broken music box, and how we can't see or "hear" Beth, but we can "feel" her. 

Alicia also appears at a four-way intersection, or a "quatervois" in her dream sequence, two separate times. Major crossroads coming.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Great observation! And you know it’s congruent with what happened when we saw Daryl at his crossroads in Alone. That was when Beth was taken, which would ultimately put TF into contact with Grady/the CRM.

Here, we already know Madison is with the CRM, and we’re seeing another crossroads when Alicia is on her way to finding her. Just wanted to point that out.

@galadrieljones:

There's also a doppelganger or "duality" theme here, as Alicia meets herself in the dream. One Alicia appears in dark clothing, one in light.

@frangipanilove:

Did anyone other than me catch the «you were alone when you woke up». Such a dialogue parallel with Grady!

Also, the kitchen scene gave me Alone connotations.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Yes! I forgot about that. Alicia’s reaction to the Haggis actually made me think of Beth’s reaction to the guinea pig at Grady. Okay granted, that’s Grady vibes, rather than Alone, but I can see the Alone vibes too, just because they were in the kitchen, eating.

@frangipanilove:

Also, the whole Scottish thing, I’m sure we’ve discussed Scotland many times. I know on my part I’ve researched the St. Andrews cross flag, a white diagonal flag on a blue background, but there’s more also. I know we’ve specifically discussed bag pipes, though I can’t exactly where and when.

in the interview after, words such as «in between» was mention a lot in regards to Alicia’s state. Interesting because we have talked so much ab liminal spaces. Galadriel, i love your take on this, re. the cabin in the woods from FM, Alicia’s state with the fevers, the nightmares etc. The house as a portal.

A few words about the «music» as a weapon. It’s always been my belief that «music» is a metaphor for the ultimate weapon in this society, and it has to do with the research conducted by the CRM. Remember Eugene almost immediately after he had been introduced to the show. He talked about batteries, dinosaurs, roleplaying but most importantly his (fake) work with the Human Genome Project, «fighting fire with fire». That’s was always a huge red flag for me, because that’s what vaccines are.

We later see TF use music to direct walkers in late s10, they have a cart with loudspeakers, and they played……..Fighting Fire With Fire. So again, music as a «weapon» or «tool» to solve a walker problem, and a metaphor for the ultimate weapon against the zombie apocalypse: a vaccine (maybe). Or some groundbreaking genetic research development, something in which Beth could be involved.

It’s too soon to tell the specifics of how music will be a weapon, it could be directly through leading walkers away from important structures, but it could also work metaphorically, as «fighting fire with fire» is how herd immunity is achieved. Either through the spread and subsequent mutation of the virus, or through the distribution of a vaccine, in which you of course expose ppl to a tiny amount of the pathogen, in order for your immune system to assemble a natural immune response, and as such reducing and even eliminating the threat from the virus.

What did everyone else think of the episode?

[janeykath318]

The Beard Effect (Shieldshock)

Getting invited to the super secret Avengers lair was a pretty big deal to a former “science minion.” The Accords had split the Avengers in half and those who had joined Steve Rogers in refusing to sign it were basically fugitives. It angered Darcy that the people who’d saved earth multiple times were being treated like criminals, just so the government had convenient scapegoats. 

Jane and Darcy were both vocal opponents of the Accords because of the gross human rights violations and as a result, a lot of opportunities suddenly disappeared. 

Jane went about muttering how she planned to portal Ross’s ass into outer space and Darcy was fully on board with that plan. 

Unfortunately, before any portalling could happen, they ended up getting kidnapped again. This wasn’t their first rodeo and they managed to overcome the thugs and hijack their van, but it broke down in the middle of nowhere and the two of them were left stranded, with no way to call for help. 

“What’ll we do now?” Jane asked

“Start walking,” Darcy suggested. “There’s bound to be some kind of civilization around here.”

Jane looked skeptical, but she shrugged and started walking. After an hour or so, they found a small lane that wound up and disappeared into the forest.

“That looks promising,” Jane said hopefully. “A Driveway!”

“Or the lane to a lair of villains or serial killers,” Darcy said, earning herself a glare. 

“It’s starting to get dark, Darce. I think we have to take our chances. I don’t see any other signs of habitation.” 

“True, but don’t come crying to me when an axe murderer is chasing you.” Darcy griped, but she started following the path, which turned out to be much longer than it looked.

“Don’t move!” A voice suddenly hissed from the shadows, stopping both women in their tracks.

“See? I told you!” Darcy crowed triumphantly. 

A figure emerged from the shadows, brandishing a gun, which he quickly holstered after he saw who they were.

“Darcy?”

“Clint?” Darcy exclaimed, recognizing her favorite archer and partner in crime. 

“How in the world did you get here?” Clint asked warily. “No one knows about this place.”

“Honestly, it was a complete accident,” Darcy told him. “We got kidnapped and escaped, but got stranded in the middle of nowhere and started walking, hoping to find other non-shady humans. This driveway looked promising, so here we are.” 

Clint looked very concerned and quizzed them on their captors and where they’d left the van before speaking into his comm. 

“I’ve explained the situation to Cap. He says to bring you up.”

“Steve’s here?” Darcy asked, heart doing a flutter of anticipation.

“Yep,” Clint grinned knowingly. He was well aware of the crush Darcy had on said Captain and used to tease her about it frequently. 

“Shall I tell him you send your love?”

“No!” Darcy nearly shouted, face turning pink. “Just get us safely inside.”

“Whatever you say,” Clint said with a smirk, chuckling to himself as he led them to the plain looking ranch house at the end of the lane. There was another brief discussion over the comms and then they were being ushered inside.

It was the typical plainly furnished basic safe house, but it was cluttered in a well-lived in way. Darcy recognized Wanda, Scott and Sam right away and greeted them all enthusiastically. Then Steve Rogers walked in and put a halt to all coherent thoughts. 

The man was gorgeous to begin with, but he’d let his hair get rather shaggy and—glory of glories—he’d grown a beard. He looked a bit world weary and tired, but he smiled right at her.

“Hi, Darcy, Jane.”

“Hi.” Darcy squeaked out, now doubly overcome from the smile AND the beard. She’d always had a weakness for bearded men, but Steve’s glorious specimen took that to a whole new level.

Jane took pity on her and took charge of the conversation, explaining what had happened to them and asking if they could be so kind as to tell them where they were and provide them a lift back to civilization.

“Sure we can,” Steve agreed, “but we should probably wait until morning. Natasha and Sharon are out scoping things out and we’ll soon find out more about your kidnappers. Were either of you hurt at all?”

“Only a few bruises and rope marks. Darcy and I kicked ass. They won’t mistake us for helpless scientists ever again.”

Jane spoke proudly and Darcy nodded enthusiastically. She’d wished Natasha could have seen it. 

Steve outright beamed at this, which caused Darcy to trip and go down in an embarrassed heap. She stayed on the floor, wishing a portal would appear and whisk her away. 

“Why are you like this?” Jane sighed in exasperation as she and Steve helped Darcy up.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked, concern in his voice.

Mortified, Darcy couldn’t look at him and mumbled “Yeah. Just tired. Being kidnapped wears one out.”

She wanted to die. Why did she always have to make herself look like an idiot in front of him? 

Steve, being the gentleman he was, volunteered to sleep in the living room so Jane and Darcy could have a bed. Darcy tried not to think about what sleepy Steve would look like as she counted sheep that night. 

She awoke the next morning and wandered out to the kitchen to find Natasha making coffee.

“Sleep well?” The spy greeted her, green eyes appraising her.

“Yes,” Darcy managed. “Though if you have extra coffee, I could definitely use some.” 

They caught up over their caffeinated beverages and Darcy heard more of the story of how Natasha had ended up changing her mind about the Accords and joining Team Cap. 

Right in the middle of a very funny anecdote involving Clint, Sam, and Scott, the door opened and Steve entered the house, sweaty and disheveled after a morning run.

Darcy’s laughter died in her throat as she observed Steve’s damp white shirt and glistening skin, muscles very much on display. 

“Morning, Nat. Darcy,” he acknowledged, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and gulping it down.

Darcy let out a “morning!” and got the heck out of there, face burning again. She needed a cold shower and fast. She heard Natasha laughing at her, but decided she’d deal with that later. Steve was going to be the death of her. 

“Nat, do you know why Darcy hates me? She practically runs away whenever I enter a room and I don’t know what I did.”

A bewildered Steve was asking his friend this question two months later when they were settled in a new, larger, secret compound, joined by Darcy and Jane. He’d liked Darcy a lot and used to enjoy her company, but now, she could barely stand to look at him and he was rather confused and a little hurt. 

“I can’t speak for Darcy, but I don’t think it’s anything you did,” Nat assured him. “Have you tried talking to her?”

“Yes, but she always is too busy or finds a reason to escape before I can get more than one sentence out. I figured she really doesn’t want to be around me, so I let it go.”

Steve ran a hand through his hair in frustration, wondering how in the world he was going to fix this. He missed Darcy and this situation was  becoming very upsetting to him. 

“I’ll see if I can find out what’s what,” Natasha promised. “It is very unlike Darcy to leave someone in the dark if they’ve offended her.”

That very afternoon, Darcy found herself locked in a closet with none other than Steve. All the banging and yelling and swearing and angry texting at Jane and Natasha availed nothing. 

Natasha’s blunt text took the wind out of Darcy’s sails and she looked over at Steve remorsefully. They were right. She’d let her stupid crush get in the way of her friendship. 

“I could break this door down, you know,” Steve offered. 

“No need,” Darcy sighed, smiling weakly. “It’s about time I put my big girl pants on and told you what’s going on. It’s not your fault. I just am a complete disaster around guys I have a crush on and I may have a thing for the beard,” she finished, blushing like a tomato. “Which is why I could hardly say a word to you without squeaking.”

“So I didn’t hurt you?” Steve asked cautiously. 

“No. It was mostly me trying to control my wild urges to say or do totally inappropriate things to you. Face it, Steve. You’re irresistible.”

Steve gave a bashful grin. 

“I don’t know about that. But what if I told you I would be totally okay with you being “inappropriate?” Because I too must confess to having had some inappropriate thoughts.” 

“Really? About me?” Darcy asked, starting to feel very smug. 

“Definitely you,” Steve said, looking at her very intently. She blushed again and moved over close to him so she was right up in his space. 

“So Watcha gonna do about it, soldier?” She asked flirtatiously.

Steve grinned.

“Let’s start here,” he murmured right before he kissed her. 

It was better than her wildest dreams. Holy crap, the man could kiss! Knees already weak, she clutched him for dear life as the kiss deepened. 

“If I’d have known this would be the result, I’d have grown a beard a long time ago,” Steve admitted when they came up for air. “I’m crazy about you, Darcy. Have been for awhile.”

Darcy giggled against his chest. 

“You’re still plenty hot without it, but it kinda was the icing on the cake,” she told him.

Neither of them noticed when Natasha unlocked the doors. She listened for a moment, then smiled triumphantly and texted Jane that the mission was a success. Nothing was seen of either Steve or Darcy for the rest of that day. 

[faorism]

needing the au to drop wherein i can commit to writing a historical au,, because since i first watched the db cooper job my mind went straight to OT3! OT3! OT3! (unlike with the van gogh job, since i aint playing with that fucking lieutenant)

one day maybe one dayyyyy i will sit down and i will write the ot3 into that episode's story. so, it'll be the backgrounds for the characters in the flashback (so, stephanie ritter, steve reynolds, and reggie wilkins), but with the necessary personality adjustments (parker, eliot, and hardison respectively). basically, vintage ot3 with some hot as hell aesthetics and secrets and avoiding as much as possible producing copraganda.

so. my thoughts. what i see happening. and this got super long so im throwing this under a cut. and for ease i will call them by their modern day canon names except when making a point.

first, general thoughts about the characters.

and so: steve to eliot. nothing much here on the surface. eliot still volunteers, too much an indoctrinated white man to have been forcibly drafted. so its still one man gone to war. one man come back. eliot would had been noticed early in training for his ability to pick shit up, and they teased at maybe sending him to a special unit. maybe they do, or maybe they don't because they just need to funnel fuckers to the jungle. the vietnam invasion was a terrorist imperialist venture and there's no romanticizing from me about anything done being at all valorous or special or brother-in-arms'y. and eliot commits war crimes under the american stars and stripes instead of just to keep moreau's champaign running. but also maybe moreau is eliot's superior. he certainly would have been rewarded for this ruthlessness. (eliot of course strove to impress moreau because there aint an eliot spencer who wasn't that man's dog at some point, i!!!! dont make the rules). eliot's friend died and eliot's gone off to carry out his wishes and moreau lets him because he Knows eliot is gonna come back. whether its to come back to the same squad, or follow him into deeper spy shit for the military, or to fuck off and go private. then eliot meets parker.

now. stephanie to parker. beth plays normal so well im mad at her, but there's something edgy and strategic about stephanie that i think parker can grab onto. i feel that maybe she was kind of a thief still, but there's more realism to this world so archie wasnt a super secret spy with lasers to practice with, but just a guy with sticky fingers whos a little bored and wants a protege. parker is good really good at what she does, and not having to deal with lasers makes me easy. but she's into scams that are less grifts and more Catch Me If You Can slight of hands. she's always looking for easy money (she was into lifting cars at one point! literally she follows where the crime is). she's doing something in an airport and someone tries to recruit her as a flight attendant because she's got the Look. and yall, flight attendants? that shit was like being a model and an astronaut and a time traveler back then. and according to a teacher i had, who once worked as in the f.a. union, those ladies back in the day were rad and queer and free spirited and runnnnning shit. i think, yes, it's a Job which i think we might resist placing parker into. but! of the jobs, at the time, i really see her rocking it during the time period. (also come on, the opportunities to swindle distracted people of their shit would be endless. they would just think they dropped their stuff in the airport! not that it was stolen.)

finally, reggie to alec. i think hardison will be the hardest to translate. even tho i admittedly listen to a lot of true crime podcasts, i dont know much about fbi life and also definitely don't know about it historically. part of me desperately wants to put him somewhere else even if it does have to stay within the fbi. i might cheat and make him like a Q(uartermaster) to 007/00s like in james bond, and he's like UGH this is horrible god i hate working for the fbi but they will give me funding so...... anyway, here's this totally cool [radio term]. that said, if hardison is stuck in the fbi, why he ends up there is that he is a fucking savant when it comes to research and the man can put together a presentation like no one else. that white man gets all the credit for profiling but it was hardison who goddamn was the google of the microfilm days. reggie felt super square but that might be because he had to deal with mcsweeties db cooper shit day in and day out for years. hardison is more himself. and definitely still a nerd. alec would be into dime fantasy novels and comics and ham radios and oh god he also would be into star trek like the original star trek as it came out and he would be into the zines yes! yessss. omg. also he plays a mean arcade cabinet. but he's mostly well adjusted but lonely. his colleagues dont appreciate him because fbi esp during that time were fucking wilding out and racist as hell aaaaaand im sorry im srry im trying so hard to have fbi hardison make sense but also! acab. ANYWAY.

second, the relationship

i think it would be fun to play with what it means to have parker/eliot start off first and bring in hardison afterwards. (if white collar is your thing, it would be like this canon divergent ot3 fic wherein peter burke is the last to join in.) i feel they would be Super Intense esp since they are carrying this big ass secret. kind of broken and dysfunctional and there's the passion and the commitment, but i think there's also a tenderness that's super hard for them to achieve? and i think there's a way that hardison plays such an important part in who they are and how they are. like, sure i think parker/eliot would have joy but they won't have levity. they would have compassion but they won't have gentleness.

eliot meets hardison after being recruited by nate. i think they get close because while nate and eliot have an interesting and compelling mentorship/friendship, nate is still eliots superior; sometimes its nice to complain about your boss, as hardison will say to eliot to try to make friends. i think hardison and eliot would become legit friends and not just work buddies because they are just not cut out of the same cloth as the rest of their colleagues. they grab beers after work. after hard days, hardison cajoles eliot into going to the arcade. they are friends. real real truly deep best friends, in a way hardison didn't think he could have with a fed and eliot didnt think he would have after his friend died. but also? they are like "buds" who are buds who are desperately tryna to cross any lines because there's a.... tension? an UST between them they dont know what to do with.

parker meets eliot by way of a "lets have my friend for dinner, he's a blast." and immediately immediately hardison is like... wow this woman is beautiful but like, really attracted to her personality. and parker things hardison is kinda dorky but cute dorkie? anyway, they have a puppy love situation growing. and it keeps growing until bam. eliot and parker are like. are we into alec???? fuck we are aren't we.

i think stephanie and steve would never tell reggie (even if somehow they were to be a thing). but parker and eliot? hell yeah they tell hardison. eventually. after a while. sooner than maybe they should. the tension if they should say something is one of the things that build up as UST between them for so long; parker and eliot know they are carrying this huge thing. two huge things. eliot being db cooper and also their massive crush on him.

if i could control myself to stick to a pwp, it would be another christmas. maybe the christmas nine (more?) years down the road. the damn snow grounded hardison's flight back to his nana's, and parker and eliot hear this and invite him over. the egg nog gets flowing and parker eventually is like,, fuck this. and comes onto hardison. and hardison would be like wow wow what but... idk, free love and swinging were In The Thoughts And Minds Of The People. he still checks in with eliot who is like. her body, man; i aint gonna tell her what to do. and for a sec hardison is like, man is this a cuck situation? i guess i can be for it but also...... aint mad if i aint alone. and eliot is so grateful and idk. i just want them all to be happy and having fun and no one to be left out. and yeah i am kinda brushing over a lot of the racial politics which, in a more developed fic rather than a pwp, would definitely need to be brought in; but idk that needs to just be in the bedrock of whatever plot is going into this.

it takes a lot of maneuvering of their lives but they make it work and eventually hardison is a keeper of eliot's secret too.

(apart from the historical aspect, another reason i probably won't actually write this is because i know myself. i would want to do worldbuilding. i would follow eliot and alec to their jobs, but i wouldnt want to write outright copaganda. the grit/realism i would be comfortable with would take a level of research i dont think i can commit to. but if someone wants to take this up or if you figure out a way around this issue, pls do i wont be mad)