#and if I do it's my fault for not supporting enough

[cthulhus-curse]

Neighborly Support

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Word Count: 5,241

Warnings: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Blood, Darkfic, Jealousy, Minor Character Death, Mommy Kink, Murder, Possessive Behavior, Praise Kink, Smut, Somnophilia, Strap-Ons, Vaginal Fingering, Wanda goes ballistic with an ax that’s all you really need to know, this is a formal apology to Nat and Maria my babies ily btw, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT | 18+ Minors DNI

Summary: You hadn’t looked back ever since you moved away from Westview, but an offer for dinner with the neighbors draws you back in just for you to fall once again for one Wanda Maximoff. Only this time you get more than you bargained for.

Family dinners were never something you looked forward to. Living in the city gave you the freedom to decline them, to come up with whatever excuse you could muster in a matter of seconds and get out of them. Although your parent’s house was less than an hour away, you had been able to avoid any reunions in months. You loved them, you really did, but the grievances they threw at you for living so far away, for not surrounding yourself with those who loved you and instead drowning yourself in work after having graduated college were far too much for you to deal with. 

Well, that was until you didn’t allow yourself to escape the tight grasp a family dinner had on you. Especially not once your mother called you to let you know a neighbor would be joining you – Wanda Maximoff. 

During your college years you had gotten to merely see her from far away. She had recently moved in once you were a freshman. Although you lived away from your family in that period of your life, you were thrilled to return home for breaks and within whatever free time you could find. Seeing Wanda waltzing around the neighborhood and small town of Westview was only a bonus. 

She had two kids and although the entirety of the population seemed to despise her, she was still a high-standing citizen – president of the PTA, a devoted housewife, and the true image of perfection in the familial sense. Her family was her life, twins being the light in Wanda’s dark days while her husband, Vision, was kind without a fault. 

As soon as your mother let it slip through the phone that Wanda and her family would be joining your family dinner, you accepted. 

Returning home was always a bittersweet moment. You dreaded the way in which your parents would bombard you with pleas to move back for the sole purpose of helping your father’s plumbing business. It’s what your brother had done, but then again, Tony had always been the favorite. They weren’t too fond of you running around an alien city by yourself. Control had always been something you sought, especially from your family, and yet that all changed as you sat across the table from your neighbor. 

It didn’t surprise you to see the red hair still sitting only centimeters from her shoulders. Wanda had never dared change her appearance. She always kept her mane short enough to give off the appearance of a truly devoted mother, her outfits mirroring that very same image. At times you had seen her wear small buns in the past, her hair entirely up as she tended to her flowers in the front yard as you watched from the second-floor window in your room. As wrong as you knew it to be, you always had difficulty tearing your eyes away from the older woman. 

Sitting back and relaxing, you listened on to the neighbor. 

“I’ve never met a pair of more imcompetent individuals in my life. Can you believe they didn’t want to give me what I purchased? I spent almost an hour trying to explain myself so it would get through the manager’s thick skull,” Wanda huffed, shaking her head as she took another bite of the pasta your parents had crafted. “It was all in the receipt too. I never got what I ordered. My poor boys had to share their food because I refused to give that wretched place a single extra cent. Idiots.”

One of the reasons why she was so infamous along the town was her propensity to forever be right. Wanda was nothing if not a confident woman who lacked self-awareness or even a smidge of care for those around her except her children – at times her husband. She could never find it in her to be wrong. The controlling nature which she exuded across the table, her twin boys sitting by one of her sides as Vision took the other, was one that spoke to you. Perhaps you’d give her off all the control if only she asked. 

Dinner went on without any major issues. Given the presence of what your brother deemed as strangers, your parents never spoke about your life in the city. Instead they chatted highly of you and Tony to the Maximoffs, prompting Wanda to spare you glances here and there that she never gave your brother. For a moment your eyes even came in contact with her own. You swore that green forest that lay beneath them could swallow you whole unprompted. And you’d, of course, let it. 

Towards the end of it your face was hot and red. You had to excuse yourself before the neighbors left, mumbling something about how your head was throbbing with pain given the long drive – a lie – and that you would be slithering into your old bedroom and sleeping until the morning – another lie. 

As though you had counted your stars, after having washed your dirty dishes, Wanda rose to her feet and left for the bathroom. Walking in the same direction, the halls empty all across from you as the woman skidded behind you, making you attempt to swallow the knot in your throat and ignore her. Both were failed exercises when strong arms grabbed you roughly and pushed you against the nearest wall. Given how far away you were from the dining room, you were lucky no one else heard your whimper as twinkling viridescent orbs shot through your soul. 

“I don’t think you have a clue of how long I’ve been waiting for this,” Wanda husked out, her voice low and dangerous in a manner you had yet to witness before. Her head was tilted as she dug her nails deep into your shoulders. “I have done all the things a wife is supposed to do. House. Kids. The meals.” Each little word she mumbled, leg drifting up to press her knee where you were already dripping, made you shudder. “I’m very attracted to you. Would you be interested in having an affair?”

As difficult as it was to breathe in that moment, there came no hesitation when you nodded and mustered out a small ‘yes’. 

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

Wanda was unfiltered, you quickly learned. Whatever she said, she meant. Perhaps it should’ve driven you away when she first casually suggested the taboo arrangement, and yet you found yourself doing as she said. She carried all of the control you had slowly collected when moving away simply to hold it all over your head and make you hers with it. 

Sneaking around was always a rather difficult issue to resolve. At first all you had were little moments where Wanda pressed her body against yours while your back touched the back of her front door. Her lips were the ones to take all the power, dancing over your own and being led around without putting up a fight. She was devouring you with all she had. Taking claim of what she deemed as rightfully hers ever since she saw you for the first time years before. 

What wasn’t difficult was when she made excuses to visit you in the city. Vision would never dare question his wife. At times you felt bad for him, bad for the fact that you took advantage of the kindness he always offered to secretly rub it in his face and be with his wife. It’s not like Wanda cared though. So long as she brushed it off, you didn’t deem it as a problem. 

The first time the two of you got longer than twenty minutes together in secrecy was when your parents took a day trip to the beach along with your younger brother. You were left alone prancing across the house, phone in hand as you quickly shot off a text to Wanda. The excitement you felt was indescribable. Never had you gotten such a thrill with any of your past partners. Wanda was truly one of a kind. 

When she arrived all serene and calm, her head held up high, the redhead didn’t waste time shooting off orders. “Bedroom, now. Take off your clothes, fold them neatly, and lay on the bed. Don’t you dare do anything else unless I give you permission. Am I clear?”

“Yes, ma’am,” came the automatic response.

You were the well-behaved pet that Wanda had never gotten to play with. She could use you however she wanted. Her deeply sick and twisted mind ran rampant given all the ideas she carried along. Perhaps she could give you a cute collar to tug at with a leash, or maybe a muzzle to keep your needy whimpers at bay as she used and abused all of your holes. She could use several toys to correct any behavior needed. The possibilities were endless. 

Wanda was pleased to see you had followed her instructions. She took her sweet time making her way up the stairs in her tight yellow shirt and blue jeans. Her eyebrows were raised, mouth a thin line with raised ends, when she first got a sight of your nude body. Perfection couldn’t even begin to describe you. You were so much more than that, a wondrous angel who fell from heaven just to bring her the utmost joy in life, the thrills she had never gotten beside her husband. 

“Hmmm good,” Wanda mumbled as she aimlessly stared at the nudity exposed. She could feel a tingling sensation between her legs, a shiver running down her back that she had yet to experience. “Such an obedient little doll. I like it.”

She wasted no time undressing herself, putting her folded clothes beside yours over the dresser. The way in which you carelessly followed her orders, not daring to think about anything beside them made her proud as ever. As she crawled over the bed with an animalistic sense overtaking her being, Wanda was ready to devour her prey. 

Kisses across your skin made you see the stars. She spent ages merely running her fingernails over your body which she cut short awaiting the blissful moment. Markings were left in her wake. Wanda’s possession over you had begun. She wanted, no, needed to make you hers entirely. To free your mind and soul from the confines of your own control and have them be hers forever.  

“Needy whore,” Wanda muttered as she cupped your cunt with a hand as the other supported her over you. Her breath was hot against your neck, tongue trailing across your skin before she peppered kisses all over your jaw and made her way to your mouth. “You’re fucking dripping for me. I bet you’re so tight, huh? You haven’t been properly fucked by anyone and need mommy��s help?”

That was new to say the least, but in your deeply hazy state of mind, your eyesight blurry with need, you couldn’t care less. 

“Please, Wanda. I need you so fucking bad,” you replied breathlessly. Your hips had a mind of their own as they began moving back and forth only to get your cunt to rub against the palm of her hand. “Touch me. I promise I’ll be so good for you, I’ll obey. Just please…mommy…”

“As I said: needy fucking whore.”

Wanda slapped her hand over your pussy harshly. She was sober up until you moaned loudly, your desperate noises giving her the push she so deeply needed. It was enough to get the older woman all drunk with you. Her hand smacked you over and over, not caring to stop even as you drew wetter than before, your slick juices running down your inner thighs and dripping onto the bed sheets you’d surely have to clean up. 

Fingers rubbed up and down your slit. They were lazy at first, moving without a true purpose as they teased your entrance and swirled over your swollen clint. You were throbbing by then, sobbing harshly with a tear-stricken red face while Wanda kept worshiping your frame and putting her focus between your legs. With the way her erect nipples slid up and down your body, at times grazing against your own, you weren’t sure you’d make it for long enough. 

When she finally eased herself in, you had to hold onto the woman so as to not fall apart. 

Those digits were long and slender, all coated with juices of yours as they inched inside your tight hole. Two at once were bearable. Wanda was sure to take her time allowing you to grow used to her, pumping her tips in you before moving them deeper. Velvety walls clung to her for dear life. You could only hear her low grunts from above you along with your own lewd sounds and the wet noises from your pussy. 

“Do you like being fucked like this, sweetheart? Your pussy all used by mommy. It’s fucking pathetic how desperate you are,” Wanda said as she drove her fingers into your depths and curled them up. The way in which you cried out of pain and pleasure made her smirk. “This is all mine. This dirty and hungry cunt is mommy’s property and you better fucking remember. Nobody else will ever touch you like I do.”

“I understand. I- ah!” She thumbed at your clit and you nearly came then and there. “I’ll be the best girl for you, mommy. I promise I won’t disappoint you.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

You spent what felt like eons lying on your childhood bedroom bed with Wanda on top of you. She pumped her fingers harshly in and out of your pussy, groaning at the way you were stretched out relentlessly. Her admiration with her hand all covered in your wetness was immersive. Green eyes flickered all over your body, mostly focused on your fucked cunt, but also paying mind to your nipples that she took with her mouth when leaning in. 

Holding her sadistic nature back was nearly impossible. Wanda wanted to break you, to slap her hands over your skin and leave you filled up with tears and bruises, perhaps gushing with red. Breaking you would be a delight. Taking your body and abusing every single inch of it, face buried between your legs as she scratched up your inner thighs until you bled. She could spend hours cleaning such beautiful red drops with her tongue if allowed to. 

Wanda didn’t stop fucking you widly. She was set on not just bringing you to your climax, but having you enjoy the trip there. Her mouth was all over the place in an instant – your chest, sucking on your nipples lightly, your neck, your face, and making its way down your body only to go up once again as a tease. Fingers were curling themselves up and thrusting in and out. Given all the erotic stimulation exerted over you, it wasn’t long until you came. 

Oh. 

Oh. 

Never had you felt such an intense wave of pleasure overtake your being. Your eyes were wide, arms wrapped around the back of Wanda’s neck pulling her closer as your legs did the same. With an arched back, you got to press your own tits against her own. Her digits were still ramming into you without relent as your orgasm shook you apart, leaving you a hungry, and loud mess as Wanda smiled smugly. 

You remained all quiet and blissed out let alone for your breathless mannerism and little sounds of pleasure. 

“‘Slut’ seems fitting for you,” Wanda commented as she sat back with her fingers still deep in you. “I hope you know I’m not done with you yet. Mommy still wants to play with your pretty pussy, honey. And you’ll let me do it whether you like it or not. Well…” she drifted off only to tilt her head and speak quietly. “That is unless mommy’s whore wants a punishment. That can always be arranged, my sweet babylove. I am very good at hurting people. You’ll get to see that firsthand.”

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

Her insistence to own you entirely was something you adored. Wanda didn’t once hide it. You were hers, she told you many times. There were moments when you’d lay with her front pressed against your back, a toy nestled deep inside you that was strapped around her waist. She would use her nails to scratch your skin, leaving faded marks of her initials on you. 

Although in secrecy, she’d never leave you to forget about who your true owner was. Whether it was with small touches when your families met every once in a while or glances shared from across the street as she tended to her garden and you simultaneously picked up the mail. Each day you spent at your hometown working from there remotely rather than the city you found it much more difficult to even humor leaving. 

Your parents had been thrilled that you spent more time back home. Unbeknownst to them, you were sneaking out to meet Wanda at various motels, at times visiting her home while her husband was at work and her children at school. Never had your life carried such an adrenaline kick to it. 

Wanda had invited you and your brother to join her family once on a trip to a nearby amusement park. While Vision, Tony, and the twins went on to explore all the roller coasters, you stayed behind with the redhead. She would make casual conversation, at times brushing her hand against your own to be a tease. That night she had punished you for having forced her into going on a rather nerve-racking ride where she screamed her head off, getting off all humiliated and mumbling something about how you were a bad girl for mommy. You got fifteen spankings for your trouble, but it was well worth it when in the end you got a picture of a frightened Wanda on the roller coaster. 

For a moment you found it difficult to conclude where you stood with Wanda. Surely she told you about her unhappy and unfulfilling marriage, about how the spark had disappeared, and yet she was cold-hearted when you attempted to give her affection during certain moments. Regardless, you knew she craved you on some level at the very least. Both were content with that as it was enough for you. 

She wasn’t as happy when you found yourself cornered by another neighbor at the annual town fair. Given the size of Westview, it wasn’t a truly packed event. At most you found peers who you knew since childhood, neighbors, shop owners, past teachers – of course one of them being one Maria Hill. 

Unlike Wanda, Maria wasn’t so discreet when it came to her advances. She had a wife and children, and yet for some reason came onto you at the fair. It only made matters worse when you found Natasha chatting amicably with Wanda from across the event, feeling bad for the other redhead as your secret lover met your gaze and stared daggers at the tall woman hovering in your personal space. 

When a hand touched down upon your waist, Maria mumbling something about how no one has to know, it was enough to prompt Wanda to rush towards you as a saving grace. She pretended to need help finding the twins and as loyal as ever, you agreed while throwing the brunette a quick glance. 

“Did she touch you?” Wanda had snarled out. As angry as you knew she was, there was a surprising hint of worry in her voice. 

When you nodded, her face scrunched up with both fury and sadness. You were far too anxious about being left alone for Wanda to act on her wrath, so instead she nestled you close and brought you with her to find something sweet to feed you, letting you have the cotton candy she had previously rolled her eyes at, mumbling on about how her little girl would get cavities. 

That morning Wanda had dressed you up, sneaking into your house while your family was already off at the fair. She picked out your clothes – a beautiful short pink skirt, a white sleeveless blouse, thigh-high socks, and Converse shoes. The golden necklace which hung around your neck with a small heart was given to you. Mommy was elated to see her princess donning an outfit which made you seem like a doll. It was all she wanted at times, to take her pretty dolly and play house with you, to use you as though there was not a thought behind your eyes which, to be fair, was the truth when you were surrounded by Wanda. You were a doll and she was your master. 

Holding onto those memories of the earlier day was the only way you got through the fair. 

As soon as you got home, you ignored the way your parents told you they’d spend the night with your cousin across town, leaving alongside Tony who found your silence odd, but shrugged it off and left. Not caring about much, all you did was shrug off your clothes, put on an oversized shirt, and throw yourself over the bed to forget about Maria’s advances. 

Wanda was far too busy on her own. After having sent off a text wishing you a good night’s rest, she went ahead to tuck her children in and say goodnight to her husband, promising to be back soon given she forgot to buy milk for the following day. Only instead of rushing to the store, she went to the Romanoff residence along with an ax. 

It was the last night Maria ever shared with her wife and kids before being knocked unconscious and dragged to the edge of town where she was taught a lesson. 

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

You were asleep when a mysterious figure slipped into your room. Her breathing was ragged, drops of red falling onto your hardwood floor as she made her way closer to you. Darkness was prominent along your surroundings, leaving her hidden away as she crawled onto your bed. Hands tugged at her clothes, pulling it all off and, rather than pristinely folding the black dress, throwing it to the side of the bed. 

All that lay beneath were drops that fell from her face onto her nude skin and a strap-on attached to her waist. 

Wanda threw her phone to your side while unlocked and ready to play a video. Even in the dusk around her, she could make out the silhouette of your body as you lay on your stomach all sprawled over the bed. Such a perfect and innocent thing, she thought while sneaking a hand beneath your large shirt only to come in contact with nothing but your nudity beneath. 

“I see you’ve been waiting for me,” Wanda muttered as she shook her head with amusement. “Naughty girl. So ready and needy for mommy already.”

After pulling up your shirt just enough, the woman shifted over you. She grabbed the dildo and ran the tip against your already slick cunt after you went to sleep with vivid images of Wanda in your mind. At the lewd sounds your body made once the toy was swirled up and down your folds, parting them in the process, Wanda grunted. After the adrenaline rush she had experienced, you were there to bring her back down. 

At the feeling of something wet entering you, you frowned. You were barely conscious at the time, hazy eyes opening only slightly to see black let alone from the light of a phone by your side. Thinking it was yours, you grabbed it mindlessly, groaning as desperation fueled you. 

“Hi there, sleeping beauty. Did you miss me?”

It was the unmistakable voice of Wanda which calmed you down as you had slowly begun trying to get out of the bed but were forced to remain in place. You didn’t dare give much thought to the idea that although you could be in danger, one word mustered by your lover was enough to get your breathing to normalize once again. 

But alas, you basked in confusion. You reached out for the bedside table to click on the light, frowning before you turned around to face Wanda. “Wan- what are you doing?”

“Shhh I’m just making it all better,” she replied. Even from that you could sense an unhinged tone behind her words trying to make its way out. “We’ve talked about this, honey. I thought you wanted mommy to surprise you with her cock one night. Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“Yes but…” you had wanted it, of course you did, but not with Wanda’s face covered with what you deduced was blood. At that you truly began freaking out. “Wanda what the fuck?! Are you okay?”

Your attempt to move away so you could take a better look at the woman failed. Instead, you were pressed down over the bed, your head stuck in place as you wiggled around. “Stop squirming, pet. Let mommy give you a little treat. You need it so bad after today, huh? Just a reminder of who owns you?”

Her jealousy was not something you were unaware of. Many times Wanda’s green monster came out to play, its tint similar to that of her eyes. You could barely hold a conversation with one of the other neighbors, although older ones, without feeling someone boring their eyes at you – that someone being Wanda who huffed and puffed up until you finished your conversation. Seeing others be able to chat so casually with you in public without anyone growing suspicious was something she desperately craved. 

She completely ignored your worries and began inching deeper inside of you. It was a deep red toy you knew so well, its ridges deliciously ghosting against your pussy and stretching it out even more. It was thick, girthy enough to make you scream at the feeling of it laying in your depths. 

“You’re so tight, little one. It looks like mommy has to take care of this hungry pussy with her cock once again. You are so desperate. It’s fucking adorable, slut,” Wanda breathed out. She held you close to her body which shivered at the feeling of cool blood against it. “Here, baby. Grab mommy’s phone. I have a little surprise to show you.”

“Um…” you did as you were told, but were profusely confused. “Yes, mommy. I- fuck that feels so good.”

Wanda thrust her hips forth and basked on the sound of your skins slapping together. “I know, whore, but you have to be good and do as you’re told,” she tilted her head and watched how the faux light accentuated the way your cunt swallowed her toy. “Hmm you take cock so well. Such a precious tiny angel. Now play the video. I want you to see how good mommy is at protecting her property.”

When doing as you were told, everything stopped. You wouldn’t dare question Wanda about her blood-stricken face nor did you need to after the sight in front of you. The video showed Wanda standing over a fallen Maria, ax in hand that she kept swinging up and down. Blood pooled underneath the brunette’s body each time she got hit.

43 cuts is what your lover counted in the video before she grew tired and her adrenaline fuel ceased. She was breathless, eyeing the camera with a smile before taking a break to go again. Her resentment with Maria was not left behind at the party. Not only had the woman touched the redhead’s property, but she also made discomfort grow within you. The punishment she received was Wanda being reasonable. 

“Watch it, baby. Come on. Be a good girl and keep your eyes open.” Wanda’s voice was sickly sweet as she grunted above you. She couldn’t stop herself from focusing on how glorious the wet sounds of your pussy were as you were fucked nice and slow with her strap. “That’s what happens when people try to take what’s mine. You’re mommy’s little bitch in heat, no one else’s.” 

It was wrong. Oh so wrong.

And yet you were unable to tear your eyes away from the screen, watching intently as Wanda began swinging the ax over and over until even a drop of blood dripped down the foggy lense of the phone’s camera. Her arms flexed as the black dress she had worn at the fair earlier that day became stained with red. As maniacal and psychotic as she seemed, your cunt throbbed at the image. 

“Mommy protects what is hers. No one dares take my property,” Wanda moaned as she grabbed your cheeks, throwing her head back as she thrust in you roughly. “My fucking pussy. Every fucking inch of yours is mine, Y/N. And you’ll move back home and it’ll stay that way, right? You’ll do that just for mommy?”

She slapped a hand over your ass and for a moment you could barely process the words. Your brain was filled with images of Wanda taking Maria’s life, the woman motionless beneath the redhead who giggled with each hit she gave. Seeing the possession she had over you, getting to the point she wouldn’t let such horrid behavior against you slide easily, made your heart flutter.

“Come on, baby. Cum.” Wanda kept spanking your backside until it was all red and sore, the crackling sound becoming an orchestra for your ears. Her cock remained nestled in you, being pulled in and out of your gaping cunt that swallowed it whole. “Do it for mommy, honey. Show me what a good little slut you are, how much you fucking love it when I kill for you.”

It was enough to bring you over the edge. For a moment you had no thoughts in your mind, Wanda using a free hand to grab a fistful of your hair and pull at it harshly. She wanted your eyes on the phone that displayed the flashing images of her taking care of Maria, leaving her all bloody, battered, and filled with cuts. You were to know what she could do if you dared misbehave. Wanda wouldn’t allow you to leave whether you liked it or not. There was always room in her backyard for you to take your eternal nap if so. 

Once you came down from your orgasm, Wanda kissed your back all over. She was consumed by your presence, all drunk with your being. You were the drug she quickly became addicted to. Her status, her marriage, and even her children meant nothing when she was by your side. 

“Such a good puppy,” Wanda mumbled. “So good, baby. You did so well for mommy. I’m very proud of you for being good today, for obeying me as you should.”

“Thank you, mommy.”

“Hmm of course, sweetheart. I have to reward good behavior,” she said. “We should really clean your bed sheets and floor up before the morning. I wouldn’t imagine your parents are keen on seeing a bloody mess in your room…or me.”

The following day not a member of Wanda’s family dared question her as she rolled a rather intriguing piece of meat through the meat grinder. She wondered if Maria’s spouse would like a slice of her famous lasagna. Perhaps then she'll stop looking at you with such desire. After unknowingly getting a taste of her wife, Natasha would surely leave you alone.

[diamondkat]

I have decided to contribute to the theories on what possibly canonically happened between Vox and Alastor that led to their relationship ending. For the sake of this theory creation, I will be taking everything said by the characters at face value. The things that I will be taking into consideration for this theory are the following: what was said in the interactions that we have seen between them so far; the creator describing what happened between them as sad and complicated; Alastor being under a contract and; Alastor being one of the main characters.

The first thing to consider will be that based on the creator saying that it is sad and complicated, they would have both been friends and the reason for their break up would not be a single person's fault. There would likely be issues outside and within the relationship that would lead to it ending. On the other hand, Alastor being a main character also means that the narrative will likely favour him in the reason for their break up. If you take all of that with the knowledge that Alastor doesn't own his soul, there is a chance that his owner was involved in why their relationship ended up falling apart.

We also have to consider Vox and Alastor's statements about each other. On Vox's side, he accuses Alastor of being in the past and of being a coward. Alastor, on the other hand, accuses Vox of being a fake whose power comes from using those around him to appear powerful and a person who can't take a "No". This should also give us a clue regarding how they see what went wrong in their relationship. Vox sees Alastor as someone who brave enough to do certain things/potentially make changes and Alastor sees Vox as someone who takes advantage of those around him and throws a fit when he doesn't get his way.

Regarding what happened during their potential last fight, we only have what is said by Vox and Valentino, which is Valentino asking, "You still pissed he almost beat you that time?," and Vox replying, "Uh, fuck you." This was followed by Vox declaring that things had changed in Alastor's absence and he was going to show who was really in charge of things now. Based on this, it can be said that Vox won their last fight, but not in a way that left him confident in his ability to take on Alastor directly at the time. Therefore, his hope was that the time that had passed had finally put him ahead of Alastor.

Taking all these points together, here is my theory. Alastor and Vox were genuinely friends. I don't know if Vox had a crush on Alastor or not but the friendship between them went both ways. Alastor's support of Vox enabled him to grow quickly in hell and allowed him to be considered a force to be reckoned with. Vox over time got used to Alastor granting him things. However, Alastor's owner wasn't quite as happy with their relationship. She decided to interfere in their relationship, probably trying to poison the relationship. She might have suggested a simple test where Alastor told Vox, "No" when next he asked him for something. After all, Alastor has a tendency to let his friends get away with asking whatever they want from him based on his relationships with Mimzy and Niffty. This coincided with Vox having big plans for them to work together to go to the next level. Alastor said no and Vox took it very poorly. He couldn't understand why Alastor would completely turn him down. Vox's reaction proved some of the things that Alastor's owner had said to him leaving him disappointed and betrayed. Vox likely also did not handle what he considered a rejection well, particularly if Valentino was involved in poisoning things on Vox's side. This would have led to an escalation that would end in a fight, in which Alastor almost seriously hurts Vox but Vox manages to gain the upper hand, likely with the help of Valentino. My headcanon is that it is this fight that damages Vox and Valentino's antennas.

The radiostatic headcanon part of this is that Rosie thought that they were romantically involved but it turned out that Vox was attracted to Alastor while Alastor thought everything they were doing was about friendship. This is part of how Rosie figured out that Alastor was asexual.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Broken Bonds-Part 15

Former(ish) Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader, BabyDaddy! Jay Halstead x Reader

While Jay is still out on vacation time after you gave birth your emotions and hormones are all over the place. You're trying to find a new normal, line up a daycare for Addy and get back into the gym all the while fighting what's growing in your own heart

Was it weird that you weren’t with the father of your child yet he hadn’t really left your side in months? You were fairly certain it was weird that even though you’d given birth to said child and circumstances could change you were terrified of not having his presence nearby because you’d grown so used to him being right there.

For the first week of Addy’s life you’d barely wanted to leave your apartment and hadn’t allowed anyone but Stella to cross the threshold outside of you and Jay. He’d stayed right there, only leaving when Stella was over and even then it was just long enough to do laundry at his place. You were beginning to worry about the price of his rent versus how much he was actually using his place.

The sudden rush of emotions and hormones after birth was killing you also. Dr Asher assured it was normal so once the first week passed you started easing your way back into the gym. Not only to relieve stress and work off some of that pent up energy but also to start getting back into shape for the job. You missed boxing. 

Jay always came with you, which proved to be more of a challenge than anything. It was distracting a bit when he was walking around the gym with Addy in a baby sling, talking quietly to her or feeding her. You told yourself he was being supportive and also acknowledging that you simply weren’t quite to the point of wanting her out of your eyesight which you weren’t.  It wasn’t his fault that your head was a jumbled mess.

You heard Stella come in the door and talk to Jay and Addy before heading your way where you were working at a heavy bag. “Baby girl. Are you supposed to be going that heavy this soon?” she asked and you looked over your shoulder at her “Doc said just listen to my body and I’ll be fine” she nodded “Ok then. I see my niece is doing amazing” you grinned, pushing hair that had fallen down out of your face “Of course. She has amazing parents”

“That is true. Are you two going to check out the daycare where Chloe works?” you and Jay had an appointment the following day to go and do a walk through and meet everyone but from running a background check on employees, owners and all other parents you had a fairly good feeling about it. You nodded “We’re going tomorrow” 

“Have you talked to him yet about the whole staying at your place thing?” she asked, cutting her eyes over at Jay. You followed her line of sight and smiled when you saw him and Kelly gushing over Addy “No” she looked back at you “Bad timing or simply because you don’t want to?” 

You opened your mouth to protest that of course it was just bad timing. You knew you had to talk to Jay. You both had to get used to being alone again, with and without Addy. He wasn’t your husband, hell he wasn’t your boyfriend. You were just his child’s mother and a friend. The two of you never should’ve been sharing a bed while you were pregnant and he shouldn’t have been sleeping on your couch for the last week but the idea of Jay not being there terrified you and the fact of it terrifying you terrified you. 

At the look on your face she grimaced “Do we need to talk later?” you sighed, looking at Jay again “Stel, I don’t know if you can get your hands on a ladder deep enough to get me out of this hole” she shook her head “Of course I can. If you need me, call me” then kissed your cheek and called across the gym “Get her home Halstead! She needs a shower and a nap”

“Which one?” Jay asked with a smirk and Stella laughed “Both of my girls”  Jay grinned “Yes ma’am”

You got out of the shower and could hear Jay’s voice over the baby monitor where he was talking to Addy. That wasn’t anything new. He’d been talking to her since she started moving in the womb. You walked out of the bathroom and heard him tell her “You’re the absolute best part of me” and felt a smile slip onto your face. 

You walked out of your room into the living room and saw him standing in her room, right over her crib. He was leaning down just enough he could trace patterns on her stomach like he used to do on yours while she was still in it. “She asleep?” you whispered and he nodded. You stepped back out of the room and he followed you, not quite closing the door behind himself.

You turned around to face him and hadn’t realized he was quite that close. Your hands flew up to brace yourself on his chest and his hands went to your waist to keep you from stumbling. “Thanks” you mumbled and he smirked “Anytime” his eyes flickered from yours down to your lips then back up before he let his hands drop from your waist and cleared his throat “How are you feeling now that you’re able to get back in the gym?”

You knew Jay was worrying about your mental health. He’d taken special care when researching postpartum depression to ensure he didn’t miss any warning signs. You nodded “I’m good. I am” he smiled “Ok, just know you can tell me if you aren’t” “I know I can Jay. By this point there isn’t a lot I feel like I couldn’t tell you” his smile deepend “Good”

Times like this it was hard reminding yourself he was just Adeline’s father. These emotions, these feelings. They were the love you had for him as your partner, friend and daughter’s father. No matter how fast your heart started beating lately when he kissed your temple or how it stopped you in your tracks some mornings if you came out looking for coffee to find him shirtless in your kitchen.

You knew you still loved Mouse, how you’d felt when he called four days after you had Addy to talk to you was proof of that. That love never wavered in your mind or heart which made these feelings that were starting to pop up towards Jay even more confusing. It was just the rush of everything after giving birth. It would even out as your body healed, right?

You hadn’t realized you’d gone silent until Jay bought one hand up to gently cup the side of your face, staring in your eyes as he did so. “Are you sure you’re ok?” you swallowed hard then nodded “I’m good, I’m um I’m gonna go to bed” he smiled and leaned forward to press a kiss to your head “Goodnight, see ya for midnight feedings” you laughed lightly “I’ll be the one with the baby on me” “The gorgeous one with the beautiful baby that looks like her? Yeah, don’t think I’d miss you two” he teased with a wink.

“Night Jay” you whispered then retreated to your room. You just needed to catch your breath. The last week or so had just been insane, birth was a lot on your body.  

You grabbed your phone and sent Stella a text: Got that ladder yet? She texted back Ready & waiting you laughed lightly Our meeting at the daycare is a 10. Can you do lunch? She quickly texted back You got it babe you let out a breath and tossed your phone onto the bed. Damn here you were missing your job. At least Voight was just a pain in the ass.

You were dressing Addy for the cold Chicago weather while Jay got the truck warmed up. She was wearing an adorable little long sleeved outfit Kevin had gotten her complete with a bow headband to match. She grabbed your pinkie and cooed which pulled a smile to your face. No matter the chaos, it was worth it. She was worth it. “What would I do without you love?” you whispered and she cooed a little louder about the time the door opened and you felt a rush of cool wind whip across the living room before Jay’s voice followed “Please tell me you and her are bundled up because it is cold”

You laughed lightly “Shoot Addy, guess the sundresses are a no?” he walked around the corner shaking his head “Funny, I’m just making sure you know how cold it is” you nodded “It’s the last part of February, first part of March in Chicago Jay. I’ve lived here my whole life. I know how the weather gets. Grab me the carrier cover so I can zip it over her”

He passed you the cover then eyed the coat you were wearing. “You need a thicker coat” you raised an eyebrow “This is plenty thick enough” “It's really cold” he argued and you laughed “This coat is fine Jay. Get your daughter ready and let's roll” 

________________

Jay parked his truck in the designated area for parents and cut his eyes at you “Do we really gotta do this?” you nodded “Considering you go back to work in a couple days and I go back in a few weeks, I’d say yes. It’s the top daycare around. Everyone has good background checks. Close enough to the precinct and fifty one it wouldn’t take us or Stella long to get to her plus Chloe Cruz works here as the supervisor”

He nodded slowly “I know, I know but baby..she’s so little” you laughed lightly “She won’t start until she’s six weeks old. That’s a normal start time for a child with two working parents”  “Ok” he finally agreed then killed the engine. He grabbed her carrier out then walked out to meet you by the passenger side door. He held her between the two of you, so you and her were closest to the building and he was closest to the road as you walked inside.

The receptionist was a twenty six year old woman named Marlene Jacobs who had a child in the daycare herself. Her husband Donald Jacobs was a marine that was currently deployed. They both had clean records and from what you could tell they had a fairly happy marriage,ok maybe Mouse had taught you a little too much.

She stood when she saw the two of you “Detective Kidd? Detective Halstead?” you nodded with a smile “Yes ma’am” she looked towards the carrier “And this must be Adeline” Jay smiled “Yes it is” she looked between the two of you “Well we’ll do the walk through. You’ll meet with the supervisor which I believe you know, Mrs Cruz?” You laughed “Yes, we know Chloe” Marlene laughed “Even better. If you choose to accept the spot, you’ll just need to fill out to paperwork and choose a start date”

You cut your eyes at Jay and he nodded “Lead the way” you told her with a smile. She offered to let you leave Addy’s carrier at her desk so Jay carried her in his arms and slipped his hand into yours as he followed Marlene through the hall to Chloe’s office. You felt him squeeze your hand gently so you whispered “She’ll be fine” a small smile slipped onto his face at your assurance.

______________

“So..let me hear it” you and Jay were back in his truck, Addy was in her carrier fast asleep and the two of you were headed to meet Kelly and Stella for lunch. Stella’s idea was to bring Kelly as a barrier for Jay so you and her could talk. He cut his eyes at you then looked back at the road, a smirk slipping onto his face “You were right” he all but mumbled. You held a hand to your ear and leaned across the console “What was that?” he laughed “You were right Y/N..like always. The daycare is a pretty good place and it’s gonna be good for Addy”

You grinned triumphantly “Just remember that so when she is a teenager and comes over to your house whining how mom is so mean you can remind her that I’m usually right” he shook his head “Yeah, I’ll remember that” 

You leaned back across the console and checked the text from Stella “Her and Kelly are gonna grab a booth” he nodded “Sounds good” you cut your eyes at him and not for the first time found yourself thinking just how good Jay looked as a dad. Even bundled up in winter clothes, you could see the chain of his st michael pendant and his eyes kept flicking up to the rearview mirror. You knew how women supposedly glowed when they became mothers, you didn’t see yourself as glowing but you’ll be damned if Jay wasn’t meant to be a dad.

One of those smiles you loved of his slipped onto his face “Ya know it’s kinda weird to stare at me while I’m driving. Turn your butt around and stare at our baby if you wanna stare at a face that looks like mine”  you shook your head “You are so full of yourself Halstead!” he cut his eyes at you and grinned “You’ve got to like me at least a little sweetheart. Adeline is proof of that” and you felt your face warm. “Damn you Jay” he laughed lightly “I’m sorry but it was too easy” you shook your head “I don’t know why I haven’t ever shot you” “Too late to consider it now” he teased.

____________

When you got to the restaurant you slid into the booth putting yourself right next to Stella and Addy between you and Jay with Kelly on the other side of Stella. “How was the daycare?” she asked and you looked at Jay with a smile so he rolled his eyes “She was right, I was wrong”

“They normally are right and we normally are wrong” Kelly laughed, looking over the menu. The two of them struck up a conversation so Stella saw that as an opening “What is going on?” she whispered and you shook your head “I gotta use the bathroom. Kel, scoot” he didn’t ask and just stood up to let Stella then you out.

Jay watched you with a curious expression so you gave him a small smile “I’ll be right back” and told him what you wanted. Stella did the same to Kelly and grabbed your arm before the two of you headed for the bathroom.

You weaved your way through the crowd and spotted the bathroom and made a beeline for it. The door was luckily unlocked and it was one of those that was just one room so you could lock the door.She turned to you the moment it was locked “Speak” you let out a huff of air “I can’t talk to him about him needing to quit staying at my house. Every time I try, he looks at me and smiles or I walk into the room and he’s talking to Addy or taking care of her in some way and the words die on my lips. I know, I know he needs to start fully staying at his place. We both have got to learn to be on our own. With and without Addy but …” you scrubbed a hand down your face “I’ve gotten used to him being there and it’s so damn selfish Stel but I don’t want to lose how safe and secure I feel when Jay is there. I know Addy is safe, I know I’m safe. I know nothing will hurt either of us with him there but at the same time if Mouse calls and he’s there I’m locking myself in my room or Addy’s room so Mouse can’t hear him by accident”

She nodded slowly “Honey, is it just that you feel safe or are you starting to develop feelings for Jay?” you felt tears spring to your eyes “I don’t know..I know for a fact that I love Mouse.I am in love with him but the idea of losing Jay…the way it hurts..Stel I don’t know if that’s just the father of my child hurt and I don’t know what to do. There’s still months until Mouse will be stateside then that’s a visit and he’s off to Georgia for eighteen weeks. I don’t want to hurt him anymore, I don’t want to hurt Jay..maybe I should just ask Jay to stop staying with me and fully focus on Addy until I go back to work then go from there?”

She wrapped both arms around you and pulled you into her arms “Honeybee, you need to stop worrying about hurting them. You’re a good mom already, you are focusing on her by showing her to have care for other people.Maybe you could present it like that to Jay? You just want to make sure you’re both used to having her by yourselves? That way maybe he doesn’t feel like you’re freezing him out again?”

You sniffled against her chest “I don’t want his life to freeze for me because I’m confused…my hormones and emotions are so far off the chart..hell I miss Voight yelling at us over this”  she laughed lightly “It’s gonna be ok. Somehow it’s gonna be ok”

____________

You followed Stella back to the table and knew Jay would notice your face the moment he looked at you. He looked up when you two got closer and his eyes narrowed. When you slid in he leaned over Addy’s carrier “What’s wrong?” you shook your head “Hormones. I’m ok. I promise” he gently grabbed your chin with one hand, ignoring the fact that you were in public and in front of your sister and brother in law as he studied your face “Talk to me, please” 

You cut your eyes at Stella to see her and Kelly were looking at the menu, acting like they weren’t looking at the two of you so you smiled slightly “Later” he held your face for  a moment later then finally nodded “Later then” Addy started moving around so you scooted over to be able to get her out of the carrier and Stella squealed lighty “My niece is awake” 

Jay automatically moved to get her a bottle and a dry diaper. You leaned up to look at Kelly who was already standing up “Thanks Kel” Stella went to stand to walk with you but this time Jay stood up “I’ll walk her Stel” you shot her a look when she thanked him then fell in step with him to the bathroom,Addy making little noises the closer he got.

You expected him to wait outside the door considering the changing table was in the women’s bathroom but when you moved to push the door open he reached over your head to hold it open for you then stepped in after you. You cut your eyes at him while you cleaned the changing table with a wipe “I could’ve done this by myself Jay” “Yeah well I’d rather do it with you. Besides I want to know why you were crying” 

You laid Adeline down and started undoing her clothes to get access to her diaper. “I’m fine Jay. It’s just extra hormones and crap finding their way out. I needed to talk and there is still a thing or two I can’t talk to you about” you felt him step up behind you as you took the wet diaper off her, wiped her down and added powder before putting a new diaper on and started to redress her “Like what? What is bothering you to the point that you were teasing me on the way here then you end up crying in the bathroom? That pretty much tells me I did something”

You ran your hand over Addy’s curls and she made a little noise which made you and him both smile  “Jay I just have a lot going on in my head but I promise you from the bottom of my heart that you have done nothing wrong.You have been nothing but amazing to me, a lot more amazing then I probably deserve and you have been an absolute dream as a father to her. There’s nothing I love more than seeing you with her. I promise if it gets to where I think I need your help with it I will tag you in partner” he nodded and leaned down to press a kiss to your temple “Keep that promise. I’m not losing you and I damn sure am not letting her lose her mom” 

You picked her up and turned to transfer her to his arms “Well right now she probably needs a bottle and her aunt Stella is dying to talk to her” a smile slipped onto his face “Well let's get back” 

When all of you started to leave the restaurant Stella hugged you and whispered “If you need anything, moral support..me to come over while you talk to him..anything call me” you nodded “Love you Stella” she smiled “Love you too” she kissed your cheek then cut her eyes at Jay “And I guess I kinda like you since you treat my sister fairly and you’re a good dad to my niece”

Jay raised both eyebrows and Kelly laughed “Take it Jay. It’s as close to a compliment as it gets. Y/N couldn’t stand me the first few months me and Stel dated. Be glad Addy is the buffer” you acted like you were offended “It’s not that I couldn’t stand you Severide, I just didn’t want anyone screwing with my sister’s emotions and it would look really bad for a detective with the CPD to murder a lieutenant with the CFD” 

Both men looked between you and Stella then Jay raised Addy’s carrier to look at her “Sweetheart daddy loves you so much and I’m so glad you’re a daddy's girl because that means Aunt Stella may maim me but won’t actually ever kill me” she winked at him “I don’t care what Y/N says Halstead, you’re smarter than you look”

You shook your head “And on that lovely note, we need to get Addy home. I’ll see you two later. Stel I love you and Kelly you have finally won your way into my heart as well” Stella hugged you once more and Kelly kissed your cheek.

_______________________

You unlocked your apartment door then moved to the side to let Jay in first since he was carrying Addy. He walked in and sat her down on the couch then moved to get her out of it. She was already making little noises and you smiled seeing her reach her tiny hands towards his face. “How did I do all the work and yet she loves you that much?” he looked up from where he was sitting with her in his arms “Don’t act like she doesn’t love her mommy too sweetheart”

You grinned “Yeah but everyone normally loves me more than you, that’s what I’m used to” he shook his head “You’re unbelievable you know that?” you laughed “I’m sorry” and pulled your jacket off, He had already slipped his off too. He watched you walk around the apartment and you knew he was probably wanting to ask again about what all was going on in your head that had led you to crying in the bathroom but you couldn’t face that, not yet.

“Jay?” you turned around and he was already looking at you “Yeah?” you scrubbed a hand across your face “Can we talk? Um, about the whole staying arrangement?” his eyebrows scrunched together for a second like they did when he was trying to figure something out “What do you mean?” you waved a hand around “Jay, how much do you pay for rent versus how much have you stayed at your place since that case with Matthew Riley?” his eyes dropped down to Addy’s small form where she’d fallen back asleep, curled up to his chest “Oh, I-I didn’t realize I overstepped sweetheart” seeing his face fall made your heart crumble in your chest, especially mixed with the way he was holding Addy, looking at her.

“No Jay, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just…we have to get used to being parents without each other. What am I supposed to do if you have to work later over the next few weeks?” he cut his eyes up “I’ll come here as soon as I get off” you smiled slightly “and what about if you want to get Addy used to your place too? I mean you have a room for her there, don’t you want her to be able to use it one day?”

“You and her are welcome in my place any time you want to go there. I don’t even have to be home” you groaned lightly at him having a comeback for everything “And what if you want to date Jay? You’re a man after all. Men have needs and you haven’t had those needs met since we made her. I don’t want to stand in the way of that and it’s not like a woman is going to be ok with you staying with your child’s mother as often as you stay here” 

He shrugged “You’re permanently a part of my life. From the moment you decided you wanted to keep her that meant there was no time you wouldn’t be in my life. If someone can’t be ok with you being in my life, they’re basically saying they’re not ok with her and I’m not dealing with that” you wiped a hand over your face and walked into the kitchen “You are freaking impossible!”

You heard him move and knew he was putting Addy down in her bassinet that he’d pulled out into the living room before he walked over behind you “What is this really about?”  you turned around to face him and took a deep breath “It’s confusing Jay, to my head. We’re not together, I know I love Mouse but you’re here and you’re so good to her and you have been so good to me and there’s so much going on inside me and I don’t can’t separate what’s me and what’s the screwed up parts from giving birth that hasn’t had time to begin to go back to the levels they’re supposed to be at and-and I am so scared of saying or doing something that may cause you or him more pain or may inadvertently hurt Addy because I’m no longer making decisions that affect just me. They affect her too and-and” you hadn’t meant to start crying but the tears started to flow down your face and Jay pulled you to his chest, wrapping both arms around you.

“It’s ok sweetheart. No matter what screwed up thing is going on in your head you’re not gonna hurt me. I can handle it, for you and her..I can handle anything and Mouse has dealt with a lot, he loves you. We can handle it better than either of us can handle thinking you’re hurting yourself to keep from hurting us. As for you hurting Addy? Baby you could never and even if a decision you made did? Her hot headed daddy is right here waiting to help fix it and her equally hot headed aunt isn’t but a phone call away” he ran a hand down your back, swaying slightly like he did when he was trying to soothe Addy. You felt your muscles loosen against him “I’m just tired Jay. I’m constantly worried I’m gonna mess our daughter up because I can’t even make decisions for myself”

He pulled back to look down at you and you half expected to see maybe a teasing look in his eyes but no there was that same look he had when he looked at Addy. Like you were one of the most important things to him “Then let me help. If it’s too much for you, throw some weight on my shoulders. You just gave birth not quite two weeks ago, everything is gonna be a little sideways still. You’ll keep at it in the gym, boxing again will make you feel better. You can start back with Dr Charles, your sessions with him always helped. If you need a night out with Stella or-or Hailey? She’d be more than glad to take you out so she could tease me about the fact that you’ve dated her and not me for the next week. Hitting the firing range helps your stress and you gotta recert anyways, we can do that to give you something to focus on. If you think we need to talk to Dr Asher about anything going on, I’ll wait in the hallway if you want while you talk to her and just be there for moral support or I’ll hold your hand. If you want to tell me right now I won’t judge you on anything. If you want me to start staying at my place more so we can get used to actually co parenting apart that’s one thing but if you’re pushing me away because you’re trying to do that thing again where you think you have to handle everything on your own? I’m not leaving you to it”

More tears slipped free of your eyes and you pushed his chest playfully “Stop being so damn good to me!” he laughed lightly “No, I’m always gonna be good to you. Even when we argue and I know we will because we always do when we’re working and as parents we won’t always see eye to eye. I will always have your back at the end of the day. No matter what” One of his hands went to your face, holding your chin while the other was at your hip, holding you steady. He held your gaze as he repeated “No matter what. Mouse could come back tomorrow and you could be with him and call and say you need me and if he doesn’t like it he better be ready to fight because I’m coming to your side” 

Your eyes flickered from his down to his lips then back up to his eyes, cursing yourself for the fact that your heart was thudding wildly in your chest when memories of what his kiss felt like flashed through your head “Do you think you’d really have to fight him?” you asked quietly and he smiled “Probably not but just wanted to make a point” his hand moved from your chin to cup the side of your face instead “I’ll go through anyone or anything that you and our baby girl needs me to. If Mouse falls in line, great he’s welcome in. You know I love him, I really do but he better know that you’re my girl just as much as Addy is and I will protect you with everything I have” 

“You know you don’t have to be this good to me to be a good father” you laughed and he smiled, leaning forward to press a kiss to your right temple “Yeah but you were my partner, friend and other half long before I got you pregnant. Why should I mess that up now?” you shook your head “I love you Jay” he smiled brightly “I love you too Y/N. Now stop worrying about me or Mouse. You and Adeline are what matters the most. Get changed into something comfortable lets watch a movie then if you want me to go home I will or we can figure out a schedule to start getting you and Addy used to me not being here then we can start getting used to her being at my place some”

You nodded slowly “Ok” “Ok” he replied and hesitantly moved his hands away from your hip and face “Whatever you need from me, I’m here” you smiled “I know Jay, I know” you just needed to get through this adjustment period and get back to work then maybe you would feel normal again or at least find a new normal? Or something close to it? Then of course by the time your emotions calmed down Mouse would be stateside and a whole new tidal wave would hit you. One storm at a time.

@desimarie12 @allisonargent144 @nevaehstreater18

Part 16

[dirtheran]

I get the sense that while they had planned for that piece of lore to be true, they didn't want to go all in until they were really confident they had it nailed down, which makes it even funnier that it turned out so poorly in Veilguard, imo.

For example, the two biggest "reveal" banters - both Cole's, regarding Solas not wanting a body and burning Mythal off his face and wanting to give wisdom rather than orders - are in Trespasser, rather than the base game. Obviously that doesn't make them less canon, but it does mean that they nailed down that particular plot thread with the certainty that it was something that was worth noting, rather than hinting at. If there's a gun here, it's this lore reveal.

And then! In Veilguard! Bioware made the narrative choice to confirm a huge amount of lore analysis with something very close to objective truth (Solas relating his own memories to no one but himself - no potentially unreliable narrator in an artist that worshipped him here like in the Trespasser frescos, this is The Guy) in the format of a series of very long, very visually flat cut scenes where there was absolutely no ability to react in any meaningful way to any of it.

Does it make sense from an in-game perspective? I mean. Brother, I fucking guess. Technically there's a reason Rook and the Team™️ want those memories, but jesus it is weak. MAYBE there is something in the memories that can MAYBE redeem Solas and get him to change his mind, forget that he has had these memories all along and presumably he's grappling with them in his own regret prison (look away from that plot point, do not ask questions about that plot point). Technically at this point he's still trapped and not at all a danger, but sure. It works out for Rook and Co because of course it does, but a narratively tight choice it is not.

From an external perspective, it is absolutely brutal. It is an incomprehensible choice, in my opinion, to have the worst things that have ever happened to a man played out in a disjointed sequence, and the man himself doesn't have the chance to. Weigh in. Comment. Mention it. Provide context. God for-fucking-bid Solas get any amount of agency when we're talking about the worst things he feels he has participated in.

And you know what - I could forgive even that (in my opinion) extremely bad narrative choice if we could have the characters question in any way what they're seeing rather than summarizing and then doubling and tripling down on 'so this WAS all Solas' fault!!'

All of that criticism applies infinitely to the Wisdom confirmation, because not a single character involved can use their brains long enough to say 'oh, wait, when Solas says "my people", he can mean spirits too, huh! and they ARE suffering behind the Veil! Suddenly his prevarication about who he's doing all this for makes sense!"

But they can't do that, because Bioware won't write that, and Bioware didn't write that because they really, really, really don't want you to ask if the Veil should come down. They don't want the characters to have the voice to say "maybe Solas has a point" because they're not taking the Veil down and they don't want you as an audience member to stare directly into the question of 'but why?'. You might do it anyway, but it is a very uncomfortable position to put your unequivocally Good Guy characters into if you don't want them to experience any kind of moral quandary and suddenly they're on the side opposite a freedom fighter who wants to tear down the Veil not because he hates the people in this world but because the broken status quo is something that he considers his fault because - indirectly - it is!!!

The Wisdom reveal is a symptom of a long list of things that had narrative support but jesus, the way the characters reacted made me wish they were just still mysteries.

It feels like Bioware built a deck of cards of every single question they made you ask about Solas and Elvhen history and spirits in general and then instead of playing a game with you to show them they threw them all on the table and said, "there, happy?"

If I'm being honest, man, not really!

i know that this is a deep cut, but when people justify a terrible writing choice by saying 'no see there's evidence in the text' it's like. yeah i Know there's evidence in the text. its not a question of whether the thing is true, it's that its stupid.

like yeah i Know that theres a codex entry about how the venatori came to accept being led by the evanuris. i can read that codex entry and still say 'well that was a goofy ass writing choice'

[melancholic-pigeon]

No, I'm not okay. Thanks for not asking.

[naggingatlas]

'thats not his role in the story!' hm i wonder what the point of it is then. hm i wonder what the dead pixel scene means. hm i wonder what wrong organ are trying to say with the context of 'awesome male friendship' and 'corporate hell where the only woman onboard is constantly under ridicule, abused or forcibly forgotten yet is the catalyst' if not this. hm i wonder how curly's physical agony being a direct parallel to anya's mental agony, stripped of voice, agency, just like her, and being forced to watch what happens while not doing jack shit, just like he used to, plays a part in this. i wonder what the moral of him being the final girl says about living with the consequences of your inaction, because of sentimentality, because of status, career and social. hm i wonder whatever the fuck this game was trying to say. hm i wonder what else is on this person's blog Oh Lord there's yaoi penice.

[dykedvonte]

I was rewatching mouthwashing, and I ended up thinking of the different reactions that Curly and Jimmy had in doing their tasks. How during the scene of Anya evaluating Jimmy and showing dread towards the idea of doing his evaluation, Curly was the one that offered to take it off her hands. He had no issue with adding more to his plate, because he knew - or well, thought, he knew that Jimmy wasn't going to "bullshit" with him since he's known him for a long time. When Anya hands Curly a note from Swansea, Curly goes to check out what the issue is and he takes care of it without a complaint, the only "complaint" he has is how this incident could have damaged the pods. Which is reasonable, those pods are their only way to be saved if anything tragic happens on the ship. However, in comparison to Jimmy being asked to do things, he's passive-aggressive about it. When Anya asks Jimmy if he could help her out with Curly's painkillers, he tells her that people should be worth their titles, specifically using her title as a nurse when she asked him for help and then when she says forget it, since he made her feel insecure, he still goes "Oh no, I'LL take care of it" as if he was doing a chore, a favor for her. Then, there's that part where he blows up at her for things that she didn't even ask him to do - more so the others asked him about it, like the code scanner, him deciding he needed to find the axe for the foam, and then, there's the medicine part (which when she does ask, and she reconsiders - going to do it herself, he takes that away from her). Jimmy complains about the tasks he has to do and he treats it like a big issue, a "woes me" that he has to do this and that - wanting the praise of the capital without actually doing any work. While Curly doesn't complain about it, in fact, he even mentions that he's aware of how well he is doing at his job as a Captain during that cockpit scene with him and Jimmy. If Jimmy only had to do a small amount of tasks to get irritated and annoyed at being captain, while Curly didn't which I feel like encapsulates their personalities. Curly understands what he's doing is a job, it's a responsibility, why would he complain at any point for doing what he's suppose too? Why would he be upset at people asking him to do tasks? While Jimmy on the other hand, isn't used to it at all and it's different to what he's had before and he's realizing that he doesn't actually like doing the work he has too. I just wanted to ramble about it even if it seemed kind of obvious xd

It’s obvious but it is a thing people miss or understate when trying to find parallels in Curly’s and Jimmy’s relationship/personalities.

Like the way people portray it as neither taking responsibility when it is almost split down the middle of Curly taking responsibilities and faults that shouldn’t be his and making himself unequipped to handle the ones that are while Jimmy refuses to handle the responsibilities he has because he wasn’t expecting the work that comes with them.

Not a lot to say but people forget that another thing the game comments on is prioritization of issues and responsibilities and how the guys fail at it in one way or another in the situation.

[ultra-violetra]

so I wanted to say that since I'm really enjoying this event, I will likely continue to post about it, including analysis. I want to talk about the game mechanics and strategies but it's been so hard to do without people thinking you're talking about the discourse. I think as a community we all need to be a little less jumpy about this event, because I've seen posts of people being afraid to talk about the team their watching because they don't want to be dragged into discourse. I think a lot of genuinely lighthearted posts about a fun event are being misconstrued as something malicious

all of my posts are made with the spirit of friendly competition. a lot of other people are posting like this too! people should be able to do this without getting accused of hating ccs or being unfair

i've been posting a lot about red team, specifically because that's who i've been watching the most. i watch pretty much every english speaking qsmp member, it just so happens that right now i have a sub to foolish so i've been watching him so i don't have to deal with ads. because of this, i will probably continue to talk about red team the most. i'll talk about blue and green teams when i watch them! if i had the time to watch vods from every team and do a complete strategy analysis, i would. but I don't have that time. i genuinely don't care which team wins, but that doesn't mean I won't be rooting for certain teams on certain days. like on day 2, red team going from barely visible on the score bar to winning the day was an amazing underdog story! of course i'm going to root for them! and for day 3 I was rooting for green team because i want to see fitmc tryhard!

at the end of the day this is a fun event. it's fun for the ccs so it should be fun for the fandom. and if you're scrolling thru tags and getting upset/annoyed/angry at people posting about a friendly competition, you might need to reevaluate yourself

[keelanrosa]

terfs when a study shows literally anything positive about trans people/transitioning: 'hm i think this requires some fact-checking. Were those researchers REALLY unbiased? Because if they were biased this doesn't count and if they weren't knowingly biased they probably were unconsciously biased, woke media affects so much these days. Have there been any other studies on this? Because if there haven't been this could be an outlier and if there have been and they all agree that's a bit odd, why aren't there any outliers, and if there have been and any disagree we really won't know the truth until we very thoroughly analyze them all, will we? Were there enough subjects for a good sample size? Did every single subject involved stay involved through the whole study because if they didn't we should be sure nothing shady was going on resulting in people dropping out. Are we 110% sure all the subjects were fully honest and at no point were embarrassed or afraid to admit they didn't love transitioning to the people in charge of their transition? Are we 110% sure none of the subjects were manipulated into thinking they were happy with their transition? In fact we should double-check what they think with their parents, because if the subjects and their parents disagree it's probably because they've been manipulated but their cis parents have not and are very unbiased. How many autistic subjects were there because if there weren't enough then this doesn't really study the overlap between autistic and trans and if there were too many then we just don't know enough about what causes that overlap to be sure this study really explains being trans and isn't just about being autistic. How many AFAB subjects were there because if there weren't enough this is just another example of prioritizing AMAB people and ignoring the different struggles of girls and women and if there were too many how do we know sexism didn't affect the results. Was the study double-blinded? We all know double-blinded is the most reliable so if this one wasn't that's a point against it even if the thesis literally physically could not be double-blinded. Look i'm not being transphobic, i want what's best for trans people! Really! But as a person who is not trans and therefore objective in a way they cannot possibly be, i just think we should only take into account Good Science here. You want to be following science and not being manipulated or experimented upon by something unscientific, right?'

terfs when they see a study of 45 subjects so old it predates modern criteria for gender dysphoria and basically uses 'idk her parents think she's too butch', run by a guy who practiced conversion therapy, 'confirmed' by a guy who treated the significant portion of subjects who didn't follow up as all desisting, definitely in the category of 'physically cannot double-blind this', completely contradicted by multiple other studies done on actual transgender subjects, but can be kinda cited as evidence against transitioning if you ignore everything else about it: 'oOOH SEE THIS IS WHAT WE'RE TALKIN BOUT. SCIENCE. Just good ol' unbiased thorough analysis. I see absolutely no reason to dig any deeper on this and if you think it's wrong you're the one being unscientific. It's really a shame you've been so thoroughly brainwashed by the trans agenda and can't even accept science when you see it. Maybe now that someone has finally uncovered this long-lost study from 1985, we can make some actual progress on the whole trans problem.'

[heiwa-the-tistic]

When the Autism itch is too strong and now I'm making a whole google docs sheet on My Personal take on Omegaverse / ABO

And it's getting a bit big, still so many head canons and structures

so many tabs of videos and searches on social structures

[unproduciblesmackdown]

"normal" meaning "unquestionable" & the embrace of that cropping up anywhere such as an aim to be on the unquestionable side of a Normal / Weird binary, thus surely being a comfortable effortless indelible version of Good that stems from "just be normal"

ppl out here like freud 2.0 where well they had the sufficiently normal Nuclear Household family(tm) experience so they're sufficiently normal for it, versus the weirdos who had the Questionable family times so as to end up with Issues, surely unlike all those who are Family Issue free, i.e. normal, no question. like how also Going To School is Normal, so of course there's that idea that anyone who didn't go to school normal style or did but Did That Wrong are the people made Weirder with Issues. & when what's Normal is what's Good is what's Unquestionable it's like why would i need to question it when it's so normal? why wouldn't some rando asshole nepo man be Meritous & Good at business when he's so Successful at it. speaks for itself, same as Your role of being treated entirely differently does, this can't be questioned, blame it on your own failures; again how the supposedly "questionable" experiences (unlike other ones, which need no Legitimate questioning) are pathologized like. people talking about disabled ppl's lacking "social skills" being this meaningful Driver of ableism just like poor people's lacking "financial literacy" being that darn cause of classism & resource extraction, the already Questioned vulnerable [you're just doing it wrong / failing] people are the cause of their own mistreatment, Normal people who are so socially & financially successful are helpless, this victim blaming (can't question it. Normal) sure totally doesn't speak to abuse being "normal" as well

which, good thing abuse totally isn't Normal i.e. in the territory of unquestionable things (with, obviously, the idea that Abuse (Real abuse, if you like) must be Exceptional in addition to, if not to Really be, "obviously" questionable) since if something can't be questioned then surely it's also How Things Were In The Beginning, Are Now, & Ever Shall Be (catholic prayer paraphasing re: god, for referential context) & there's just nothing to do but invest in & play into it For Success & resent / punish / try to eliminate disruption, like people just existing but doing it Weird, c'mon, be a better person please, obviously....meanwhile people out here approaching queerness in a way that accepts & acts according to the unquestionable normal of abuse of queerness, such that oh the "abnormality" of being queer (that is, "normal" people's abuse in the face of awareness of queerness) is unquestionable, such that Oh No, investment in that abuse now & forever world without end amen, & now punching down on the people who are just Being Weird & Disrupting this embrace of the norm: radfems invested in "all bodies will be classed as men & women & the former abuse the latter" & hate women who already disrupt this premise; pointing out ace exclusionism as terf logic just applied in the different context where queer vs nonqueer binary is neatly detected just as the gender binary is & people who already prove that & the way it's defined is not the case are the real problems, infiltrating Unquestionable (Normal) Queerness & delegitimizing it i.e. being The Cause of e.g. homophobic abuse, which will also unquestionably exist, so if we're gonna blame someone as Needing To Change it'll have to be uhhh already also affected Weird people who are ruining things, they're the Real causes of this abuse, so they're basically men, basically cis, basically straight. boooo to trans ace bi pan aro nonbinary gnc people....hardest to be binary gender "same sex" "romantic" "visible" Truly Queer couple currently holding hands in public or in front of family, & it's You Mfs who make it harder, not, yknow, the people who were already always embracing & perpetuating the abuse bolstering Normal(tm) Cishet Just Being Normal. and of course don't forget going after poly people & others disrupting / not accepting premises about Unquestionable Relationship Structures/Requirements. so not just being normal

also the beloved concept broken out that, of course, Being Normal = Being Good, b/c hello, unquestionable?? where it's like meaningless ideas that abuse is Abnormal like ":( hurt people hurt people" (inherently a framing to counter any response to [person is hurting me] that's not silent secret sympathy forever i guess. nobody's using this catchphrase to argue for Hey Quick let's all intervene to stop someone being hurt, lest they go on to hurt anyone themselves) like & yet everyone is hurt, yet not everyone is doing shit where these arguments are broken out after they're already getting away with nonsense & we're telling others to just stop complaining, while also not everyone isn't getting shit on for being "disruptive" & perchance the real hurtful problems for trying to Stop being shitted on, or just have a little more breathing room to day to day live while it happens. everyone's hurt bitch let's get you some "what's the actual patterns & context of supported power imbalance made emergently evident by whose choices & life are constrained & undermined & made smaller" like. or the expanded idea as that well all abuse comes from Being abused, i.e. the Cycle, never mind that abuse is everywhere as per its being Normal, & nobody's intervening every time it manifests despite its supposed exceptionality thus rareness & supposed indication that someone's Being abused to cause it. just gotta roll with it, wow. & pathologize being victim to it, abuser in the making, Vulnerable People are dangerous, those insulated & given more access to systemically backed power in an oh so Normal way are surely oh so Safe as well. the very rich families are all lovely havens. the abused people are treated so well & embraced & supported by all the more Normal people they encounter, certainly not Also isolated, bullied, victim blamed by these Normal friends family coworkers new partners randos in public randos who are "professionals"

but yknow uh literally just be normal lol. aaand post. and like "lol being Anti Being Normal? just like a weirdo" like yeah of course. and what, i'm gonna try to win the heart & mind of someone like "of course you have blue hair & pronouns" & convert them, as would definitely happen if only all transgenderists were Normal about it? and the perspective of "what Unquestionable Good is ever actually coming from striving to get to point at Others as Weird" involves going like "nooo i wanna see myself & be seen as Just Being Normal" instead of like having ideas / arguments about how to be considerate towards people which can be articulated in any other way & involve effort & said consideration (ft. anything able to be questioned)

[noblest-roman-of-them-all]

Contemplating the concept of "potential" when it comes to intelligence and realizing how heartbreaking Logan's "Dreams come true, that's news to me" line in the Crofters Musical.

[dangoulains-devotion]

yuffie has many interesting elements to her but people refuse to move past "i find energetic kids annoying" and it makes me sad

[pepprs]

my anxiety is unbelievably fucking bad rn. i am so scared

[thedevotionaltour]

karen is MY special white woman. my problematic fave. because i understand why she sucks. i think in order to be allowed to be a karen fan you have to actually understand why she sucks. if you don't understand why she sucks then you're a bad karen fan i think.

[stillfruit]

it's so difficult to articulate the feelings i get when i see my friends engaging in healthy and good behaviors like asking for emotional support and taking the time they need to arrive because i just can't and i know i'm wrong for it but it still feels incredibly isolating