#and if I do it's my fault for not supporting enough

[eggtargaryenii]

EAST OF THE SUN | PART IV

 “Aemond has always been very jealous over you," Jace said doubtfully. "And protective.” “Not because he wants to bed me,” you dismissed, sipping on your wine. “I was his only friend for a long time, so naturally he likes to hoard my company. And he likely is only so protective of me because he thinks of me as a kind of elder sister to him.” “Ah—so you mean he wants to bed you and wed you.” You choked on your drink, giving Jacaerys a scandalised look.

7k words, aemond x fem!reader x jacaerys. childhood friends to lovers (except it's cousins), political drama. chapter warnings for targaryen incest and themes of xenophobia/racism and misogyny. dividers from @/cafekitsune.

SERIES SUMMARY & MASTERLIST.

XII. FIVE OF SWORDS

You did not really know what to think of Rhaenyra Targaryen.

On a political level, you did not think highly of her. Once you were old enough to understand your role in court—that is, a womb to be eventually traded in return for gold or swords or support—you became confused with Rhaenyra’s behaviour. She married Ser Laenor Velaryon and then immediately began to fornicate with another man, which was fine. But it was strange that she chose a man with fair skin and dark hair for her paramour, rather than someone who looked more like Ser Laenor, and it jeopardised her standing in court. It felt silly to you, and was one of the reasons why, at the tender age of ten, you vowed to marry a handsome lord who was inclined to desire women: if you were too busy being happily bedded by your husband, then you would not have the time or wherewithal to lay with another man and give birth to any bastards. (Certainly, you would not be interested in having any affairs if Cregan Stark was your lawful husband.)

On a personal level, you misliked Rhaenyra. You had never forgiven her for Aemond’s eye. As a child you had been furious at turns with Jace, Luke, and Aemond for the debacle, but as an adult you could not fault three children for an accident. What you did fault was Rhaenyra’s actions following it: treating Aemond’s eye like it was an afterthought to the bastardy talk, as if her son had not just irreversibly rendered him half-blind. As if Aemond did not lay feverish in bed for weeks after, as if he did not need to spend months retraining his body to his altered vision, as if he were not twice as vulnerable to attacks from bullies and swords and morningstars. As if he did not need to live with the knowledge that his very body was a disposable thing to his father, something that could be overlooked so long as Rhaenyra’s claim could be protected.

No—you did not like Rhaenyra.

You were certain that Rhaenyra did not feel so poorly about you, however. She never concerned herself with you when you were a child, and you did not fault her for it: you were not close in age, and she was heir apparent to the throne. She mostly knew you as someone whom Jace had befriended, and she liked you for it. Occasionally she would invite you to dinner with them in the Small Hall, or let you break your fast with her family. Sometimes she would talk with you then, and humour your questions about the Small Council (Do they know where my father is? Will they banish me from the Red Keep? Is the Hand really going to betrothe me to an old man?), and sometimes she would look at you with something close to pity.

Rhaenyra probably did think well of you. Still, it felt like an obvious lie when she called you into her chambers the day after your father’s funeral and said, “You know I have always been very fond of you.”

“Thank you, Princess,” you said graciously, immediately. “I have always been so grateful for your kindness, and especially for allowing me to spend time with Jacaerys.”

She smiled at you. You returned it, careful not to let the wariness show in your eyes.

“It was the least I could do. I owed it to your father—he was very kind to me. He would sail back from Lys and bring me trinkets, and I loved them so. I do not think Prince Daemon liked the attention he gave me, however.”

You shuddered to think of the suggestion of romantic jealousy between Daemon, your father, and Rhaenyra. You truly would walk into the sea if she disclosed a sordid relationship between herself and your father right now.

Outwardly, however, you only gave her a sentimental look. “I had never known that. Were the two of you close?”

“He was often away from King’s Landing, so I knew him not well—but I knew him well enough. And my husband, of course, was fond of him.” She smiled. “Now that your father is gone, Daemon and I feel that it is only right that we care for you.”

You did not comment on the fact that your father had been gone for nearly ten years already. “Oh,” you said, your eyes growing hot as you remembered to cry. The tears were easy to summon and mostly from frustration at knowing that your father’s death was being used in these petty games of court, but Rhaenyra need not know that. “That's—that’s very kind of you.”

“I know Jacaerys is very fond of you too,” she continued. “If you need to continue leaning on him, know that I will be happy to see it.”

“Of course.” You wiped your eyes. “I am ever so thankful for his help during my petition. And your husband’s too. It is a kindness I cannot repay.”

“As I said, it is only right.” Rhaenyra gave you a long look, then seemed to make a decision. She reached for something on the table beside her, then placed a velvet box in front of you. “Please—take this.”

Your look of surprise was genuine when you opened it. Inside was a pair of earrings—from the rippling sheen of the reflected light, Valyrian steel, so dark that it was nearly black. Rubies glimmered among the delicate metalwork, a bold red. You knew only of one person who had ever worn jewellery like this: “My mother’s?”

“Not quite, but close. Your father brought it back from one of his trips to Lys and gifted these to me, but I have not had much chance to wear them as of late—they are a young person’s jewels.” She gave you a look that was distinctly motherly, which made you feel distinctly uncomfortable. “I feel that it is only right that these go to you, rather than being wasted on my vanity.”

“Oh,” you breathed. “Thank you, Princess.”

You had a feeling where she would be going with this.

“It would be a great honour to me,” she said, “if you were to wear these at the upcoming feast.”

It was with great effort that you did not sigh.

“Of course, Princess.”

XIII. TWO OF SWORDS

There was nothing less you wanted to do than to attend the banquet meant to precede the next day’s tourney. This reluctance had less to do with the loss of your parents (though that was undeniably a factor; you were still looking forward to the day you could crawl into the dragon pit and wail in solitude) and more to do with the dread of navigating the court. Within the Red Keep, wearing the wrong colour dress to sup alone could earn you the ire of half the castle; choosing the wrong one for this banquet could quite literally kill you.

Alicent expected you to wear green, as would the Tyrells. Rhaenyra expected you to wear her earrings, which were obviously meant to be paired with black and red. It would insult one faction or the other if you did not respect their wishes, but at this point, you also had no desire to align yourself with either. Rhaenyra had not convinced you of her cause, and if you played too nicely with the Hightowers now then they would take that as a sign that they could further abuse you as they pleased in the future.

On the other hand, you did not want to offend anyone too much. Cultivating a relationship with the blacks might be useful in the future, though your greatest concern was the Hightowers—neither your coin in Braavos nor the power of your dragon could save you if the Hand decided to poison you. That could be a very real risk as you currently had no heir. Should you be killed, the money in the Iron Bank would fall to your next of kin: King Viserys on paper; Alicent Hightower in practice.

No, you could not openly antagonise the Hightowers. However, appalling them? Probably fine. Alicent already found you appalling on a daily basis, and the Hand made it no secret that he was happy to write you off as the daughter of a foreign bed slave whenever it was convenient. You were sick of it. If they were going to accuse you of being a whore, then let them suffer the shame of having raised one.

When you walked through the heavy oak doors into the Great Hall, a hush fell over all the lords and ladies present. A few noblewomen covered their open mouths with their hands, emphasising their shock and disapproval. It was already difficult not to laugh at them, but you almost barked when you saw Jace’s reaction to what you were wearing: he very clearly choked on his wine and nearly spat it out. The sudden flush on cheeks probably was not from the Arbor gold, either. You winked at him, hoping Alicent would notice.

Rhaenyra, sitting next to him, seemed amused at the Queen’s own scandalised expression. Of all the King’s party present, you greeted her first, curtsying as best as you could in your delicate, green silks. Lysene clothing was really not made for Westerosi customs, you thought; there was not a lot of material around your waist to lift, as most of it was cut to reveal your thighs, and the view it gave of your décolletage as you bowed the was… well, it did not leave much to the imagination. Nor did any other part of the dress. The silk was so sheer that it revealed far too much when the light struck it a certain way.

“What an interesting choice of dress,” Rhaenyra remarked, the corner of her mouth lifting. Her gaze caught on the rubies dangling from your ears; you smiled.

“I chose to wear Lysene silks today to match the earrings you gifted me, Princess,” you said. “The dress was from my mother’s old wardrobe. The colour clashes a bit with the red, but it was all I had on hand, I'm afraid.”

“I’m sure.” She seemed neither convinced or upset. “Well, both the earrings and the dress look beautiful on you, my dear. Wouldn't you say so, Jacaerys?”

Jacaerys composed himself quickly enough, but you noticed that he was careful to look only at your face as he spoke. Still, he composure had returned when he replied, “You look very lovely tonight, my lady. I shall need to ask you for a dance later.”

“I look forward to it. Come find me when it pleases you, my prince.” You curtsied again, turned away, and tried not to cackle at the expression that Jace made when he realised just how much leg your dress showed. You were fairly certain that Rhaenyra was herself trying not to laugh at her son's expense, smiling into her goblet as she watched his reaction.

Alicent, on the other hand, did not seem nearly so amused.

“You… Lyseni,” she said, managing to make a very neutral word sound incredibly pejorative, “have very unusual styles of dress.”

“I would not know. Having been born in King’s Landing, I am unfamiliar with Lysene styles as a whole, my Queen,” you replied calmly. “This dress is from my mother’s old wardrobe. It was the only green dress I owned—you know I do not wear the colour much.”

“I would have been happy to have had a dress made for you,” she said, voice tight. “You are our kin, after all. We are happy to ensure that members of the royal family dress as royals should.”

“I did not want to burden the Crown’s coffers, as I know they are limited,” you parried, and Alicent’s expression nearly put you in stitches. “Is my betrothed here tonight, my Queen? I should like to finally meet him, if he is.”

Part of you had hoped that this outfit would disgrace you too much for an introduction to the great house of the Reach. You were even hopeful for it when Alicent advised her father that you were not dressed suitably for a formal introduction, but the Hand insisted on it. In the end, Alicent had you meet Lady Tyrell at the behest of her father.

Lady Tyrell seemed an interesting woman. She served as the regent of Hightower given her son Lord Lyonel’s young age. Apparently significantly less pious than the Queen, Lady Tyrell took your appearance in stride.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, my lady,” she said after a curtsy. “I saw your petition in the throne room a sennight ago, and I could not help but ask for an introduction after that… you are a very eloquent speaker. I am sorry to hear about your father, by the way. I recall it was said he was a diplomat in Lys and that your mother was a woman of the Lysene court—is this dress something of hers?”

Woman of the Lysene court. You liked the way Lady Tyrell talked, as well as her values: apparently irreligious. You wondered what she and her house wanted from you. If she saw you during the petition, it was most likely all the gold you were arguing over. Highgarden was not short of wealth, but they always wanted more for it.

“It was indeed left behind by my mother before she returned to Lys,” you replied. “And I thank you for your kind words. Everything I know, I have learned from the Queen—she took my education into her own hands after my father passed, you see…”

The two of you exchanged pleasantries with one another. You painted an image of Alicent that had her in the golden light of the Seven and wearing a halo; the Queen’s posture relaxed visibly as she listened from nearby. When it came time for you to meet Arthur Tyrell, though, you noticed her stiffen again.

Ser Criston next to her also bristled. His eyes were heavy on Ser Arthur. He was startlingly handsome with his Tyrell features (though not as handsome as any Stark men, you noted), with a full head of mahogany curls and honey brown eyes that nearly shone gold at times in the chandelier light. He had a charming, playful smile that you did not see very much in your circles. Jace was too serious to make that sort of expression, Aemond too frightening, and Aegon too slovenly.

Most importantly, though, Arthur seemed not to mind your dress, taking you without hesitation to the dance floor.

“I was not told my betrothed would be so beautiful,” he said.

“And I was not told mine would be so handsome,” you replied swiftly, deciding to humour him. Then you added, wanting to know why Ser Criston seemed so disdainful of him, “Though I have heard tales of his bravery in the Marches.”

“Exaggerations, I'm sure,” he replied.

“Then I would like to hear the truth of it from the man himself.”

Arthur was humble, yet glib of tongue. He replied to all your questions respectfully, but not without a little flirtation or humour, and always with charisma. You found yourself frustrated: you could not tell how such a charming and well-accomplished man had earned the ire of Ser Criston. His only damning trait seemed to be that he was a bastard, which you could not care less about.

It seemed that you could only get the truth from the white cloak himself. When you were nearly about to signal for Ser Criston to ask you for a dance—the two of you had such a protocol, for times when you were made to dance with some lecher and Aemond was not around to extract you—when the one-eyed prince himself instead came to your aid.

“Pardon the interruption, Ser Arthur,” a familiar voice said behind you, “but I would like to trouble my cousin for a dance.”

“Of course, my Prince,” the knight replied, and he handed you off to Aemond gracefully. Once you were in Aemond’s arms, he nodded at Ser Arthur, his mouth curling into a kind of smile. You could not decide if his expression was handsome or unsettling. Certainly, it was not friendly.

“You do not like him,” you said in Valyrian, as Aemond led your feet across the marble floor.

He brought you close to him before he replied, in the same language, “I do not like him being around you. I spoke with Ser Criston and found his background… troubling.” Aemond had you twirling, the sheer silks around your waist swaying with your movements. “The knowledge makes me worry about the way he was looking at you.”

Your brow arched. “He looks at me the way that most men have looked at me my entire life.”

“I do not like it when most men look at you.”

A laugh. “So many japes from you lately!” The two of you circled one another as a lute sung delicately. “Well, why do you dislike the gaze of this man? Tell me about the crimes of my betrothed—I shall soon die from suspense if you do not.”

Aemond brought you close. Your hand on his chest, his lips against your ear, he said, “The man raped and pillaged towns in the Dornish Marches. Some of the worst crimes Ser Criston has ever seen in battle—an offence to the Seven, he said.”

Your expression fell. Aemond led you along in the dance, not allowing you to stop—likely remembering the watching crowd. He kept his face so near to yours; it took a moment to realise he was hiding the shock in your eyes from the gazes of others.

After a long moment, you remembered yourself, and you began to think of all the implications. It now made sense that Lady Tyrell did not care about your choice of dress: it was fine that you were a harlot, as she meant to marry you to a raper. What confused you, though, was that Queen Alicent had so readily agreed to the match as well: she may have disapproved of whores, but she openly despised rapers and felt they should all be gelded, just as the Seven-Pointed Star commanded.

“Does your grandsire know?” you asked, moving deftly around your partner. “Your mother?”

“I cannot say for certain,” Aemond said, “but I suspect they do.”

You nodded, tried not to look too grave as you said, “I will find a way out of this marriage.” Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the Tyrells watching the two of you. You pressed yourself against Aemond, likely more intimately than any dance would warrant, so that you could whisper into his ear. “Were you serious about finding a means to avoid my betrothal?”

“Not only serious—I have already planned it.” Aemond smiled in his unsettling, handsome way once more. “Play along in the morrow. Remember: Any consequences will not befall you.”

What consequences? you meant to ask—but then you were interrupted.

“Pardon me,” a new voice said in the Common Tongue, and the both of you broke apart to see Jacaerys. “I wanted to make good on my promise to dance with my cousin.”

It was a command, not a request. Aemond studied him for a moment, and you wondered for a moment if they would begin to posture with each other, but he then acquiesced.

“Of course, nephew,” Aemond replied. He then switched to Valyrian: “Take care not to pass her off to any untoward characters. I'd rather her stay even in your hands than certain others. Bring her to me once you are done.”

Your cousin gave you a long look, his single eye glinting strangely. He brought your fingers up, and you did not realise what he was doing until his lips were pressed chastely against your knuckle. You stared blankly at the foreign sensation, at the soft touch of his mouth against your skin, unable to comprehend what was happening. But the realisation came only a moment later, suddenly and violently:

Aemond Targaryen was kissing your hand.

You nearly jerked back. What are you doing? you wanted to ask, but Aemond did not give you much time before turning to leave, smiling as he retreated to the high table.

You gave him a bewildered look as he disappeared into the crowd. Jacaerys, himself, seemed equally surprised. As he took your hand into his, he began questioning you: “Did I misunderstand,” he asked quietly in the Common Tongue, “or did my uncle just entrust you to me?”

Your speech remained in Valyrian: “You understood correctly, though you may have missed the backhanded insult. I believe he doesn't want me back in the arms of my betrothed. Aemond and Ser Criston mislike the man.”

“Do they?”

“Yes. Or, well—it is more like they abhor him.” You were uncertain if Jace knew the words for ‘rape’ or ‘pillage’ in Valyrian, so you adopted the Common Tongue once more, smiling brightly: “Nevermind all of that. We can talk later, when we are somewhere more… private.”

Multiple eyes glanced away, eavesdroppers averting you now that they'd been caught. You figured that those around you thought you were speaking of the kiss, and not of the reputation of Ser Arthur. Certainly, Queen Alicent must have, for her jaw was so tight and angry that she could have only been thinking of her son’s open favour toward you, or perhaps the betrothal that he just put into jeopardy. You supposed it was also a particularly sordid sight for her given the new whispers surrounding you: Jacaerys was said to have carried you back to your room in the early hours of the morning a few days ago. To anyone who believed the rumour, it must have looked to some like you were seducing both princes, their hearts in your cruel thrall even though you were now betrothed to a Tyrell. Luckily for you, however, the whisper had come from a kitchen maid who was a reputed liar: even though it was true, most were sceptical of the tale.

Alicent likely believed them, though, for she had given you a long lecture about preserving your innocence for your betrothed during your last meeting, followed up by an implication that there were ways in which one could feign virginity on a marriage bed should they have fallen into sin before their wedding night. She alluded to the old trick of staining one’s sheets with chicken’s blood while their groom was distracted. Though you were not offended at her belief that you had ruined yourself, you were offended at her belief that you would be stupid enough to jeopardise a marriage in this way. Using chicken’s blood was good enough for commoners, but it hardly worked for noblewomen. Septas and maesters would not be fooled by such a lazy deception, and you were both well-aware of it.

Thinking of the conversation made your head pound, so you turned to your only solace at a time like this: “Would you like to sit and have some wine, Jace? I have not yet tried the Arbor gold.”

“Of course.” Jace took your hand in his, led you to the high table at the front of the hall. A maid promptly approached with goblets and wine, which you were glad to drink, hoping for the sweet oblivion of complete inebriation. Jace’s brow lifted as he watched you.

“I did not know that you had grown into such a drinker.”

“Only during banquets,” you said dryly. “I find that I cannot otherwise endure them.”

“How ironic,” Jace remarked. “This is my first in the Red Keep, and I find myself envying you for having attended so many.”

You were startled as you realised that the Crown Prince, of all people, had neither attended a tourney nor a banquet in King’s Landing solely because of the petty infighting in his family. “Sorry,” you said immediately. “I’d forgotten this was your first feast here. I’ll try to be better company.”

“You are always good company,” Jace reassured you, “though I would enjoy a proper dance with you later. We’ve never danced together before, you know—I meant it when I said I would want one.” He smiled, and you felt your stomach flutter in a dangerous way.

Crown prince, crown prince, crown prince, you repeated silently, trying to remind yourself that you could absolutely not become besotted with the heir to the throne. If Jacaerys were to be the object of your longing (a futile one, for it was an impossibility that you could ever marry him), then you would never find a lord for yourself whom you could be happily bedded by. There was not a single noble man in the Realm who had a face that could compete with his—not even Cregan Stark!

“I'm not a very good dancer,” you remembered to reply. “I may step on your feet.”

“You seemed fine with my uncle.”

“Only because he's strong at leading. It isn’t unlike swordplay, which he excels at.” You sighed. “It is a wonder that I did not embarrass myself in front of Ser Arthur.”

Jace gave the Tyrell a sidelong glance, contemplative. “I have heard from the Queen that he is now your betrothed,” your cousin said, “which I imagine must make my uncle unhappy, as he clearly wants to bed you.”

You gave Jace a tired look. “Many people believe that I am Aemond’s lover, but I can assure you that the assertion is false.”

“That kiss did lead me to believe that he would prefer it to be true.”

“I would not pay it any mind. A kiss on the hand is a simple enough courtesy, not necessarily a sign of courtship. And even if it was unusual for him, he is likely only plotting something.” Something that the Queen will hate as much as the Tyrells, you supposed.

“Plotting something, or acting on a lifelong desire?” He studied you carefully. “Aemond has always been very jealous over you. And protective.”

“Not because he wants to bed me,” you dismissed, sipping on your wine. “I was his only friend for a long time, so naturally he likes to hoard my company. And he likely is only so protective of me because he thinks of me as a kind of elder sister to him; it was the role I played to him when we were children.”

“Ah—so you mean he wants to bed you and wed you.” You choked on your drink, giving Jacaerys a scandalised look. “What? Sibling marriage is the custom of our family.”

“I meant that he thinks of me as a sister in the Andal way.”

“Yet none of us are Andals—including yourself, dear cousin. You are a Targaryen.”

Your mood soured as he reminded you of the fact. You could not help but think of how eager you were to run away from that Small Council room a fortnight ago, so aggrieved were you by your kin.

“Can you ask your lady mother to disown me from the family?” you begged, and Jace snorted.

“Only you would reject the life of a trueborn Targaryen,” he said, shaking his head. He likely meant it as a jape, but the words had a bitter timbre to them, and you felt torn between guilt and resentment. Trueborn or not, Jacaerys had a number of people protecting his place in this family—yourself included. The same could not be said of you.

“My trueborn family rejected my mother. I may as well be a bastard.”

“Every bastard still wants for a family.”

“A family, sure, but I imagine not always their family by blood. Most of them do well enough. I feel I would.”

“You wouldn't really want to leave it all behind,” he accused.

“No,” you admitted. “I thought briefly of running away, after I was told of my father's death. But now there are people here I care for too much. Like Aemond, or Wildfyre.”

“And?” Jace prompted.

“I suppose I like Luke well enough.”

“How cold.”

You smiled at the prickly look he feigned. “I would miss you terribly, Jace. But I tire easily of all the politicking in these walls.” You sighed heavily. “If she cannot disown me, could you ask Princess Rhaenyra to marry me off to someplace far from King’s Landing? And not to any Targaryen men, please.”

“I have little say in such matters, but if you'll take a Velaryon, I could get you as far as Dragonstone.”

Aemond was nearby, clearly listening, and you realised now that Jace must have noticed. You smiled at your dark-haired cousin, amused.

“A tempting offer,” you replied playfully, “but you’d become a Targaryen once you ascend the throne, and I'd also be back here once more when that happens. I'm afraid I'll need to decline.”

Jacaerys played at disappointment, clicking his tongue. “Ah, well, it was worth a try.” He picked up his own goblet from the table, took a draught. “There’s always the King Beyond the Wall. Is that far enough for you?”

“I would rather face the Others than Otto Hightower,” you said dryly. “Certainly, I would fear them less.”

You expected Jace to laugh, but he only studied you, as if curious. After a moment of consideration, he leaned in and asked, “Would you care to step outside with me, my lady? For some fresh air.”

Fresh air was clearly not what he wanted. Nevertheless, you agreed and allowed Jace to help you out of your seat. As you rose, you glanced at Aemond, worried for his reaction, but his attention was not on you. He was speaking with Ser Arthur, you realised, who did not seem pleased by whatever Aemond was saying. Your brow furrowed, and you wondered if you should intervene, but Aemond glanced at you then, the corner of his mouth hooked slyly, his gaze as unsettling as it was reassuring.

Play along in the morrow, Aemond had told you, so you decided whatever he was planning was not your business tonight. You turned on your heel and took Jace by the arm, hurrying away.

IX. SEVEN OF CUPS

The night was cool and quiet, but you knew that it was not empty. You were certain that there would be many curious about why the Crown Prince would want to step outside and close the doors to the Great Hall behind him, obviously seeking privacy. Guards were posted in the courtyard below despite being within the inner castle walls; the balcony above you was silent when there should have been chatter and music from the banquet drifting from its threshold. Someone had stepped outside and closed the doors to escape the noise—meaning they could now listen to you rather than the noise of the feast.

You had long ago noticed that some of the sordid rumours about you involved your moments when you believed you were utterly alone with another person, or when you moved through supposedly empty halls and corners of the castle. From this, you suspected that there were eyes and ears placed all throughout the Red Keep. When you brought this up to Aemond (talking quietly in the dragon pit, where Wildfyre and the many other dragons ensured that you were both alone), he outright confirmed it. Larys Strong is quite adept at collecting whispers, he had commented. The Queen often consults him on them. King Viserys, though, has never paid him any mind—he does not see the value in knowing the whispers of King’s Landing.

When you asked Aemond how he had collected such whispers, he merely smiled.

After this conversation, you quickly surmised that all adept players at court had eyes and ears to aid them. You had not realised how much you had taken this knowledge for granted until Jacaerys disclosed that he had wanted to step onto the balcony to get some privacy.

“Privacy?” You made a face. Dragonstone had evidently spoiled the man. “This is not a private place. I do hope you aren't planning on saying or doing anything that may be seen as untoward. The Queen already believes that you have taken me abed and thoroughly ruined my innocence.”

Jacaerys cleared his throat. Moonlight tended to wash out the colour from anything illuminated by it, but you suspected he had gone red. “I will say nothing that will fuel those rumours. I only wanted privacy from my uncle, lest he be offended by my suggestion.” He glanced around, then lowered his voice. “Is someone truly listening?”

“You’re within the walls of the Red Keep. Someone is always listening, except for in a scarce few places. I can show you some other time where I like to go for real privacy.” You tilted your head. “But let's hear your suggestion. I am curious to know what would offend Aemond so.”

“The Hightowers,” Jace started, “have mistreated you these past few days. You japed about it just now, but the Hand and the Queen have sche—”

You placed a finger to his lips, and his eyes widened, startled. He swallowed thickly, only relaxing when you moved your hand away. You then smiled and finished for him: “Yes, the Hand and the Queen upset me during my petition. But it is well-known that they always have the best interests of the Realm at heart—it is clear they were only acting for the benefit of the Seven Kingdoms when they contested my inheritance.” Giving Jace a meaningful look, you asked, “What of it?”

Jacaerys caught on quickly, thank the Seven. “It is understandable that they have the best interests of the Realm at heart, but I keep the best interests of yours in mine. I was not entirely jesting in the Great Hall: I would take you away from the Red Keep, if you so wished.”

You stared. “Take me away?”

“To Dragonstone,” he offered plainly. “Princess Rhaenyra and Prince Daemon would happily host you for as long as you desired. I would be there to keep you company during your stay, as would Luke.”

“Ah. Do they want to take me as their ward?” It was unsurprising, you thought. They likely wanted your inheritance. But you played the fool: “Or do they need a dragonrider? I know Lord Velaryon has trouble with pirates every now and then. It would be sensible for Prince Daemon to solicit my help as they are allies, I suppose.”

“They aren't inviting you. I am.” You blinked at him, obviously uncomprehending, and the corner of his mouth lifted. “You could see the castle,” he began slowly. “Visit the beaches. Fly to Braavos to oversee your wealth, and I would accompany you if you liked. Vermax would be happy for it—I do believe he misses you.”

It was hard to believe in the generosity of the offer, though you knew generosity was in Jace’s nature when it came to you. Still, you needed to confirm it: “You want me to come to Dragonstone… for leisure?”

“If leisure is what you want, then yes. If for some reason you wish to labour, though, I am sure there is plenty to be done.” He smiled. “You could teach me Valyrian, to start.”

There was really nothing in the world that sounded more appealing than living in a darkly beautiful castle by the sea and tutoring a gorgeous prince who wished to take you to Braavos. Certainly, it would be the fantasy of any other maiden.

Still, you hesitated. “I am unsure if this is wise…”

Jacaerys leaned in then. “You've always wanted to get away from the Hightowers,” he said quietly, “even when we were children. Now is your chance.”

You raised a brow, wondering how you let that slip to anyone other than Aemond. “Did I tell you that?”

“You quite literally told me to rescue you from them.”

“Did I?” you asked, perplexed. But you recalled it a moment after: when Princess Rhaenyra was sent to Dragonstone and Jacaerys was downtrodden about parting from you. He had just lost Ser Harwin, so you’d felt poorly for him—had Aemond not been so feverishly ill from the loss of his eye, you might have actually asked Rhaenyra to host you so that you could stay with Jace a while. It made your heart ache that you couldn't be with him, especially since you knew what it felt like to see your father leave your home and then never return. So of course, you promised Jace that you would someday be reunited, and that you would stay by his side then.

You hadn't thought about those words in years.

“Oh,” you murmured, oddly touched, “yes, I suppose I did say that, didn’t I? I thought you would have forgotten about it by now.”

He gave you an expression that you couldn't quite decipher. “Of course I remembered,” he said earnestly. “You asked me to take you away—so let me.”

You stayed quiet for a long moment as you considered the offer. You heard the scrape of soles against brick on the balcony above you, the clink of knights’ armour below. All the eyes and ears of the Red Keep pressed upon you, and it made your heart pound.

“I can't,” you spoke carefully. You leaned forward—close enough to murmur into his ear. “The Queen has already arranged for the Tyrells to take me as a ward. If your mother were to take me on instead, then it would put both her and the Queen in an uncomfortable position. The Tyrells would be offended by them both. I do not think Princess Rhaenyra would want to malign a great house.” And I do not wish to know what Otto Hightower would do to me if I put Queen Alicent in such a sensitive position, you left unsaid.

You could see, in Jace’s eyes, his understanding, acceptance, and eventual disappointment in the reality of your situation.

“It would be wiser for you to stay,” he finally agreed, “but do know that if either Highgarden or the Red Keep become unbearable, there will always be a place on Dragonstone for you.”

You peered beyond the balcony, into the dark night where you imagined many eyes watching you. From the way Lady Tyrell had talked to you, you could tell that Highgarden would likely not be too different from the Red Keep—full of silver-tongued flatterers, keen whisperers, and elaborate schemes. It was exactly the kind of politicking that made you so eager to get away from King’s Landing—the kind of politicking that you would find anywhere there were those who thirsted for power.

And few people in the Realm desired power more than Rhaenyra.

“It is generous of the blacks to offer this,” you said finally. “If I could follow you to Dragonstone, then I would.”

“It is not the blacks who offer it,” Jacaerys replied. “I meant it when I said that I was inviting you. I only wish to offer you a place in which you are safe. If you ever find yourself wanting a home without flattery and falsehoods, then come join me on Dragonstone. I shall never turn you away.”

You gave him a wistful smile.

“You are very kind, Jace,” you replied gently, “and I love you dearly for it. But no such home could ever exist for a Targaryen.”

END PART IV

bonus: I posted a super horny excerpt of a fic where Jace is thinking about ******* you in that dress. enjoy! (yes he was losing his mind fr during that scene. aemond too but he was better at hiding it)

[jweekgoji]

hello, you can resquest scenery, TFO Orion Pax, D-16, B-127 and Sentinel wait for their Conjux femme reader to give birth to their Sparkling. (about the others except Sentinel, where they go to the surface and return to Iacon and it would be that they meet their newborn Sparkling)

TFO Chars/Pregnant!Femme!Reader [hcs]

featuring: Orion Pax, D-16, B-127, Sentinel Prime tw: pregnancy, very brief mentions of violence, slighty yandere!Megs by the end, mixture of fluff/angst. word count: ~1940 a/n: I hope I understood your request well. Feel free to correct me if I did something wrong so I can remake it.

Orion Pax.

I feel like Orion (cogless, since it's before they went to the surface) is probably that typical young dad that has no idea how to take care of a child and might as well set on fire the kitchen in attempts to warm the bottle of energon for the sparkling.

But! He is very enthusiastic about it, and he supports you in every way he can; it's just that he lacks any real experience with it. Reading in the archives about sparklings, pregnancy and how to be a good mentor is easy; the hardest thing is to actually deal with it.

There is a big possibility that you are also cogless like him, and I'm not sure Sentinel actually cares about poor pregnant miners to give them at least a one-day off. Your supervisors would constantly remind you to continue working, since there's always a big need for energon.

Orion often picks up fights because of it. Can't those big bullies see that you're sparked? You need rest and good care, not lifting heavy equipment...As usual, he gets scolded by Elita for not doing his job properly, but he makes sure that he helps you with everything. You can rest during your shift, while Orion is happily working for both of you, so you won't be reported to the higher-ups. It's a little hard, but there is nothing he wouldn't do for you.

Following my last statement and the previous headcanons, Orion desperately wants the best future for all Cybertronians. He hates the thought that his sparkling will grow up in the same place as him. No actual home, no equality, only hatred from the others. That's when he sees the opportunity to change the future, he grasps onto it.

It pains Orion to leave you in Iacon. It wasn't really his fault, though. He would have come back to you after the Iacon 5000 race immediately if it wasn't for Darkwing throwing him on sublevel 50, and the next events after that...

Orion gains the maturity he lacked, and with realization of his other past mistakes, he also understands how careless he was before. You're probably scared to death without him; he left you without a word, and now you have to only guess where your conjunx is. How stressed you will be after someone tells you that he's dead.

Just as much as it scares him and makes him angry at himself, it also motivates him for more. No matter what, he will come back to you.

The moment he sees you, he is relieved. The reunion looks awkward, his form towering over your smaller one, but that doesn't bother either of you. When he finally meets the sparkling, his own little spark, all the pain from the last battle is gone.

Orion swears to you that he will never leave you alone after today; with a new spark born in this world, there is a hope. How meaningful it is for his own child to be born the day the Iacon becomes free.

D-16

Just like Orion, D-16 has a little to no idea how to take care of the sparkling. If his best friend will be so happy to be a sire, D-16 has mixed emotions about this.

Don't get me wrong, he is excited about it just like you, but D-16 is the bot who is reluctant when it comes to going against the rules. He is not sure if this is actually the right place and time for the sparkling to be born now. Both of you are cogless, and there is no great future for you. Maybe after countless cycles ago he can get a higher position, a bit better life, but will it be enough to raise someone so young?

Even then, he shows you that he is happy. He doesn't want you to think that he hates the idea just because he's not so sure about your current life.

D-16 is a naturally strong bot, probably one of the strongest when compared to other miners. He gets extra affectionate with his conjunx, holding you close and maybe even carrying you around if you show him the tiniest sign that you're tired. He is really sweet.

As Orion drags him into the race, he begins to slowly lose his cool. His outburst in the cave after finding out about the truth is even stronger. The betrayal, pain, the sick feeling of worry about you and his sparkling. If only Orion didn't drag him into that damn race, he would have been with you, making sure that you're safe, none of that would have happened.

The frustration boils over with each step he makes. He needs to come back to Iacon, to you, but first, he has to get rid of the one who caused the cycles of pain and humiliation.

 The time D-16 gets his servos on Sentinel, ripping him apart in front of anyone, he thinks it is the only way to solve everything. Only he can fix it, and only he can trust himself with protecting you.

You weren't there to see him deal with Sentinel, thankfully. It is for the best to avoid all the stress it could have caused if you saw him. Your dear conjunx is seething with hatred. Sentinel took many things from him; he wasn't even able to be there with you when your sparkling was born. D-16 Megatron will cherish both of you forever, and he will make sure to raise his little one as strong as him, so they won't live through the same events as D-16 was.

B-127

Oh, this one is a little too sad to speculate. Let's say, both of you are cogless but met each other a long time ago before you two ended up on sublevel 50. The moment you two failed to please the higher-ups and also the moment you find out that you're sparked up. What bad timing!

B-127 seems to be more happy than you are when he realizes that he is going to be a sire. A little too happy. Even though he doesn't fully understand it. You might go like, “You're going to be a sire, Bee” and then he hits you with, “I am sparked up??” which is kind of funny. Is that really your man?

Out of other bots, I can see  being the best sire ever. Of course, he gets a little confused, but who wouldn't be if they dealt with their first child? You try to explain to him everything you know about the topic, and he quickly catches up on it.

B-127 is already thinking about the names. Does Badasstron Junior sound like a good name for sparkling? Or maybe he should practice combining your names together? Anyway, it really helps him not to get insane down here. Having you around is good for Bee's mental health, though you're not so sure how much time passed since you were demoted.

Even then, Bee shows his caring side. He does get serious when the situation really needs it, so he is constantly tied to your hip because he wants you and the sparkling to be safe. The conditions are not great, but he makes the best of it. No matter how bad it gets, he always makes you smile, even though sometimes he has no strength to keep his cheerfulness.

Bee is happy to have more new friends and to partake in the journey of finding the matrix of leadership, but he doesn't want you to get hurt. That's why (with tears in his optics) you two agree that you should stay. But hey, it will probably not take too much time. He will come back with his new friends to Iacon with the matrix; the energon will flow again, so there's no need for you to stay!

Bee doesn't stop yapping about the fact that he is going to be a sire to Elita. This fella just likes to talk and when he sees the opportunity, he doesn't miss it! Poor Elita has to listen to him how hard it is to choose the name for the baby, or how he is going to be the best sire ever once the group comes back. Ohh, did you know that he also really-really loves you? And his sparkling? Elita barely handles him, but even though she never met you, she knows everything about you.

After Bee comes back to Iacon, he almost faints. First he got a cog, then met the high guard, got a job with the government, AND became a sire? When he sees his sparkling, he feels a little sad that he wasn't there with you, but he will compensate it in no time. Every little move your sparkling makes is cheered by,  and Primus have mercy on the poor bots around him. He is probably that dad who will show you the pictures of his kids...

Sentinel Prime

Being a conjunx of Sentinel has its own perks. Lucky you, no work for you! It will be too bad if you get sparked up and cogless, huh?

Sentinel is a busy bot. There is always work waiting for him, especially the oh so important ‘‘searching for matrix of leadership’ thing. Even then, when he is in Iacon, there are lots of paper jobs and meetings  being here and there since everything should be personally controlled by him.

One of the cons while being sparked up and being conjunx of Sentinel is that he doesn't have much time for you. By the end of the day, he always comes back to your quarters, but it's just so lonely without him! You're always surrounded by the guards, the medics, but they can never replace the presence of your loved one.

All the changes in your body don't help at all, the mood swings, the certain energon cravings in the middle of the night, so-so hard to deal with, but he's a Prime, after all, so that shouldn't trouble him that much...

Sentinel might be a little irritated with it. When you wake him up, just to ask for something Primus-knows-what-next, that will probably take hours to search for, but he has no strength to deny you. If his conjunx wants it, he gets it!

I like to think that Sentinel is probably always aware of your and sparkling's health, but in a slightly concerning way. Yes, he can miss one or two meetings at the doctor's with you, but that doesn't mean he is ignorant. Everything is reported straight to him, so if anything, he will drop his work and join you. There is also a looong track of every checkup you had, and he has a timer that counts seconds to when the sparkling is born.

Imagine how annoyed Sentinel is when he gets humiliated by the quintessons and misses the birth of his sparkling? He practically scowls when someone reports him about it and totally has to restrain himself from strangling someone on his way to Iacon, but he manages it somehow.

Sentinel's mood quickly replaced with warmth for you and the sparkling, even though inside his head, he is still annoyed. How could he miss it? When he planned everything to the last second? The one thing that keeps his mind occupied is the little one he has in his servos. He's not going to leave you two again. At least, when he still can.

[moonybelgug]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖

warnings: !MDNI! heavy nsfw, gn!reader, AE!reader, subby sunday, he's comfy so he feels safe enough to act like a brat lmao soft bathtub jerking off

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

Thinking about when Sunday comes to visit once you've got your room all setup <3 And he's quietly enjoying the tour you give him of all your trinkets and the hard work you put into making the room such a comforting place. He's very proud and admires your work immensely. In fact, he feels at peace, being surrounded by so much... you.

When you get to the bathroom, he's in awe of the luxurious bathtub and the marble toiletry. You jokingly ask if he'd like to take a bath, but rather than him catching on right away, you see a moment of hesitation. So you give him privacy, and after a moment of silence, you peek inside and see him sitting in the tub, slouched so the water is up to his chin, his wings moving slowly in soothed motions.

Sunday opens his eyes and peers at you, a soft yet devious smile on his lips as you approach, kneeling beside the tub and caressing his cheek until he sits up, leaning out of the water and into your palm. He grips the edge for support as the two of you kiss, your lips trailing hungrily down the expanse of his neck, licking the water from his skin and making him shiver even in such hot temperatures. He tugs on your shirt to encourage you into the tub with him, pouting when you only continue to tease him. "I wish for company," he says with an impatient look.

You laugh softly. "Do you always get what you wish for?"

"It's your fault for spoiling me," he rebuts.

You make quick work of your clothes, sinking into the hot water beside him. He makes himself at home, tucking his face into your neck as his arms snake around your waist. The water laps at your skin rhythmically, lulling Sunday to sleep. He feels safe here, in your space, holding your body, skin to skin, in such a domestic setting.

He'd instead not fall asleep, however, not when he's got you in such an opportunistic position. He shakes his head, pulling his knees up so they poke out of the water. He gazes up at you until you look at him, smiling with faux innocence.

"Wash my back?"

At your agreement, he seats himself between your legs, his eyes falling shut as you wash his back, letting out soft hums and other suggestive sounds. He arches his back as your hands descend the shape of his spine, and you know he's tempting you. Your hands grip his sides when they meet his hips, and you tug him into your lap with the water aiding your strength, making him gasp at the sudden movement.

"What's this?" He asks.

"Just giving you what you want," you coo, spreading his bent legs, giving his thighs a gentle squeeze before dipping your hand lower to stroke at his cock with the tips of your fingers. He practically melts in your hold, his head tilting back to rest on your shoulder as he inhales deeply, feeling your free hand travel to his abdomen to rub at his stomach, tracing a circle around his belly button. He whimpers at the attention, his hips moving on their own to meet your lazy pace, moaning beautifully as the water sloshes gently around you.

"This what you wanted, dove? You don't have to beat around the bush with me. I'll give you everything," you purr into his ear, making his wings flap excitedly as you circle your thumb around his rosy tip.

"I'll take care of you," you nip at his earlobe, earning another whine. He's so responsive tonight, you think. It may be the warm water or the new room, but you can't say you hate whatever's gotten into him.

He pushes back into your body as your strokes quicken, doing little to hide his voice as his thighs begin to shake. His hips eagerly meet your fist, your free hand plucking at one of the rose buds on his chest. He finishes with a stifled moan, his cum splattering onto his tummy but quickly washed away by the sloshing water.

You curl your arms around him as he basks in the cool down, his head lolling on your shoulder, purring at the many kisses he’s receiving.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖

[dykedvonte]

I was rewatching mouthwashing, and I ended up thinking of the different reactions that Curly and Jimmy had in doing their tasks. How during the scene of Anya evaluating Jimmy and showing dread towards the idea of doing his evaluation, Curly was the one that offered to take it off her hands. He had no issue with adding more to his plate, because he knew - or well, thought, he knew that Jimmy wasn't going to "bullshit" with him since he's known him for a long time. When Anya hands Curly a note from Swansea, Curly goes to check out what the issue is and he takes care of it without a complaint, the only "complaint" he has is how this incident could have damaged the pods. Which is reasonable, those pods are their only way to be saved if anything tragic happens on the ship. However, in comparison to Jimmy being asked to do things, he's passive-aggressive about it. When Anya asks Jimmy if he could help her out with Curly's painkillers, he tells her that people should be worth their titles, specifically using her title as a nurse when she asked him for help and then when she says forget it, since he made her feel insecure, he still goes "Oh no, I'LL take care of it" as if he was doing a chore, a favor for her. Then, there's that part where he blows up at her for things that she didn't even ask him to do - more so the others asked him about it, like the code scanner, him deciding he needed to find the axe for the foam, and then, there's the medicine part (which when she does ask, and she reconsiders - going to do it herself, he takes that away from her). Jimmy complains about the tasks he has to do and he treats it like a big issue, a "woes me" that he has to do this and that - wanting the praise of the capital without actually doing any work. While Curly doesn't complain about it, in fact, he even mentions that he's aware of how well he is doing at his job as a Captain during that cockpit scene with him and Jimmy. If Jimmy only had to do a small amount of tasks to get irritated and annoyed at being captain, while Curly didn't which I feel like encapsulates their personalities. Curly understands what he's doing is a job, it's a responsibility, why would he complain at any point for doing what he's suppose too? Why would he be upset at people asking him to do tasks? While Jimmy on the other hand, isn't used to it at all and it's different to what he's had before and he's realizing that he doesn't actually like doing the work he has too. I just wanted to ramble about it even if it seemed kind of obvious xd

It’s obvious but it is a thing people miss or understate when trying to find parallels in Curly’s and Jimmy’s relationship/personalities.

Like the way people portray it as neither taking responsibility when it is almost split down the middle of Curly taking responsibilities and faults that shouldn’t be his and making himself unequipped to handle the ones that are while Jimmy refuses to handle the responsibilities he has because he wasn’t expecting the work that comes with them.

Not a lot to say but people forget that another thing the game comments on is prioritization of issues and responsibilities and how the guys fail at it in one way or another in the situation.

[ray935sworld]

Child of divorce rosquez AU

My baby, my baby

Chapter 1: The fallout

Marc knew he should be grateful for the life he lived.

He had everything and more he could have ever dreamed about.

He was a big name in the sport he loved after only 2 season. He had won 2 titles in those years, making him a 4x wdc before he turned 22.

He earned a lot of money while living his dream. He made his hobby to his job and it worked out perfectly. Better than anything they could have expected.

He had healed from an almost career ending accident and had started to win everything. He learned how to handle crashs and he was pretty good in dealing with the injuries resulting.

He had a brother who he loved dearly. They were basically glued together. He was his best friend and always had his back. They had the same profession and could spent lots of time together.

And he had a wonderful little son who would turn 2 in January.

David was everything to him. He had never expected to became a father as early as he did but he would trade it for nothing in the whole world.

He loved David like it was breathing and now he could have never imagined not having him in his life.

He knew he should be grateful for a life like that. Most people weren't as lucky as he was. For most people, their dream didn't work out. Many in his profession even suffered a terrible fate. Most people weren't as lucky to have a support system like he did when it comes to an unexpected pregnancy.

And he was grateful. He would never not be grateful

But as he looked in the news, he couldn't help but curse the world for putting him through something like that. Actually he wouldn't care if it was just about him. He'd be able to handle that.

But dragging David through it?

He swallowed, cursing silently as he read how his toddler got weaponized.

'The cuckoo child of motogp - whose the real father of Marquez's bastard?'

He wanted to take the paper, roll it up and beat the crap out of who ever had the idea, who wrote it and who deemed as as appropriate enough to be published.

It was bullshit. The world knew who David father was, even if they refuse to acknowledge it. He - They had always been honest about David's father.

Fuck.

Vale had been the one to step up about it. He hadn't want to hide Marc or their relationship and his fatherhood of David. So he publicly picking David up from the Honda garage and carrying him to yamaha.

The baby had been crawled on his chest, Vale still on his race suit, as he talked with his mechanic. The hugh 46 over his head seemed to fit perfectly with the red MM93 top David had been wearing. A gift from Santi.

As expected, the whole media went crazy. They asked them about the reason behind that.

Vale had just laughed and said "Allora, I gotta take care of my lovely son, no? Can't let Marc do all the work. He did all the hardest work already. I mean - If it takes two to have fun, it takes at least two to care of our little bambino"

And the papers went wild. As expected. Valentino Rossi, having a son - the news spread like wildfire through all of Italy.

They repeated it the next day. Vale had grinned widely as Marc handed their baby over, knowing that many journalists had only waited for this.

They had managed to arrange the schedules that while Vale went over some data, Marc had a little free time to look after David. And as soon as his occupation started, Vale was free and took their son.

It didn't always work but luckyly Julia was happily to look after his grandson in the meantime. Or Alex and Luca stole him away. For some uncle time, as they called it.

Vale and Marc had early on decided not to investigate what their brothers put their baby through after catching Alex trying to teach David to say "batman" instead of papa as his first word.

They just trusted the newly founded uncles in crime union - to which the academy boys counted as well - not to do something extremely stupid.

"Your fault if you let a bunch of teenage uncles babysit cause you don't know how to pull out" Luca had said as Vale asked him why his son was currently wearing a green baby wig, sunglasses and a glittery jacket.

He had turned to Franco, knowing that this was an argument he couldn't win against. He hope his oldest boy would at least have some sense as he gave him a strong 'care to explain?' look. But he just shrugged and answered "What? It's fun. And David loves it! Look at him"

As on cue, David started giggling and reach for his papa. "He's a baby. He loves everything." Vale replied as he took his son back in his arms. "OH come on Vale" Marc had said. "It's cute. And our baby looks really cool like that"

That had always been their system. And it worked. They were a happily little family, living in Spain or Italy, attending races all over the world.

Then things went south and now he had to see articles like that.

It wasn't just the fact that he was publicly accused of infidelity he didn't commit or trying to baby trap Valentino, it was the way it was phrased. It was phrased to be against his son. Not just him but a literal baby.

And that made him angry. He could handle backlash. There has always been some idiots, searching for gossip, starting all kinds of rumors about Vale and his relationship.

But this was new.

Because now, Rossi's comments indicated that even he wasn't sure about the fatherhood.

"Who knows... if he is capable of screwing me over like that, he probably already did in other ways"

Sepang.

He still got shivers when he remembered hearing that in the press conference the first time. Back then he had been foolish enough to believe it was a joke. A hard comment like they often do after a race like this.

He had laughed along, ignoring the sting in his stomach.

It had started with that accusation and it spiraled into an avalanche against him. One quote followed the next one. One worst than the one before and at the end, Rossi had managed to paint a devastating picture.

David - their son, being a lie. The boy they worried about together, who they cared for, who they loved before he was even born, was supposed to be a manipulation technique?

He accused Marc of sleeping around, trying to pass a strangers child off as his.

He wanted to scream and cry. So he went to Vale's motorhome that night. He couldn't control his emotion so he yelled and sobbed and begged him to think straight.

It had been Vale who welcomed David in tbe world, who sat next to Marc's bed, holding his hand waiting for him to wake up after the birth.

It had been Vale who had spent hours thinking about designs and decorating the nurseries at the ranch and at their place in Spain. He had even asked his academy kids for help.

He had asked everyone he knew and loved how to be a good parent.

He had loved David the second he knew he existed. He had been so incredible happy about the pregnancy despite the circumstances. He loved David always and forever.

He had hold him in his arms every day and every night. He had sang him a lullaby. He had told him stories and showed him pictures of their families. He had told him everything about everyone.

He had shown David how loved he was the second he was born.

He had supervised his boys as they stood around the cradle, the first time they were in Italy again. They were all standing there cooing over their newest addition.

Marc's heart had melted as Vale put his arms around his boys, heads still lowered over David. "Remember, moments like this are the reason, we take calculated risks not blind ones. Cause no amount of point is worth this. Understood?"

But apparently that was a lie.

Because now he had stood there, his eyes cold, his face drawn a fascade that could only be described as disgust and hate.

The love they had shared was gone. Yes they had relationship problems in the last weeks. But not like that. Every couple had its ups and downs. That was normal. But this...

Marc huffed. He stared at Vale.

"You can't be serious. David - David IS YOUR SON! YOU KNOW THAT!" "I only know what you told me and you are a liar. You have proven that many times. Why should he be a difference!"

He spoke coldly about him. His voice filled with hate as he spoke about their son. "Keep David out of this! He has done nothing but breath and love you unconditionally since the moment he was born" "I don't care. You're a fucking liar. This is not worth it!"

Their child wasn't worth it? Worth what? Trying? Finding a way to make up? Discussing things? Clearing doubts and misunderstandings up so they can be happy together?

"Valentino, he is your God damn son! Are you really that blind? There is a HUGH difference if I lie to the media about an injury or which tyres I'm using and the paternity of our child!"

Rossi just huffed and rolled his eyes dramatically. It felt like he was making fun of Marc. He didn't take Marc serious. Neither this issue. And that hurt even more.

"You are a liar and you use me for your own advantage. You don't care about me. So why should you even want a kid with me in the first place?" "Because I love you, you stupid idiot! I love you like crazy! I always have"

He loved him for longer they actually knew each other and his love for him had just grown since the.

"You are a liar" the Italian insisted. "I am not a liar! I love you! You mean everything to me. What do you think why I'm here trying to figure this out? I love you. I will always love you and I'm trying to figure this out with you. I mean-"

He was getting desperate. He didn't know what to say anymore. "I - I will always love you and you will always have a place in my heart and my home and my family. And that boy - the boy we are raising together - is your child. He is your own flesh and blood! You know that!"

But no amount of yelling and begging could change anything. And Marc tried. He tried harder than he was racing. He was ready to let all of hids dignity go.

He tried until it was too late. It had been too late the whole time but he now had to admit it.

"So that's it...? You lied to your own academy kids?" he had asked still holding anger. His voice hoarse and his eyes red. He had no strength left. "Points are worth more than your own family. A championship means more than your own baby. After everything-"

Vale looked at him with cold eyes. He meant what he would say. "No. But that fucking bastard isn't my baby"

There it was.

'Bastard.'

'That fucking bastard.'

About David. About their child. He had insulted their baby and with that, he had hurt Marc enough to finally walk away.

Insulting David made a switch flip in his head. It told him it wasn't worth it. He wanted to fight and he had sworn he would but there was nothing left fighting for.

David was no longer their baby. He was only Marc's baby.

So he stopped begging. No more yelling, no more tears and devestation about a man that didn't gave a fuck about them.

David deserved loved. He deserved to be loved unconditional and he had people that were willing to give him that love without having to beg.

Marc would not force someone who clearly didn't want to have anything to with him to stay in his life. He wouldn't do that to his kid.

He had always promised himself to never settled for someone that he had to beg to stay. Especially not if he had to dealt with the anxiety of being left on a daily basis.

And David didn't deserve that too.

So he left. He didn't persue legal action against Vale even if he had considered it. But he wouldn't ask for anything. He wouldn't give him more things to put against him. And he didn't need his help either. He could prove that they were fine without him. And he would.

That weekend marked tbe first of many after which they didn't joked on the drive to the airport or sat cuddled up in the back of a taxi that drove them to the hotel. They didn't shared a flight home and didn't talked about their child.

They didn't bickered about when to unpack their stuff. Marc didn't roll his eyes sarcastically cause Vale had once again forgot that after locking the car he had to unlock the door with the same bunch of keys.

He had always immediately let them slide inside his pockets and then had to fish them out.

Instead he got out the car, took his stuff and followed his brother and father inside the house without a word. He hadn't really spoken since the confrontation with Vale.

He just entered the house, hugged his mother a little bit longer than usual. It worried her but she knew what was going on. He whispered a tired "I love you" to his family as he headed to his child's room.

He went quickly, but instead of happiness and excitement, his steps now showed sadness and hurt.

It was late so David was already in bed. Marc didn't want to wake him. He didn't want him to see that only of his parents had come home to him.

He wanted that David got one last night of peaceful sleep in the knowledge that both his parents who loved him dearly would be there when he woke up. Marc feared the moment this would crash.

So he just sat down next to David, his hand reaching for his face that was plastered against the mattress. There was some spit drooling around his mouth and his thick dark curls were covering his forehead.

Softly Marc put his hand on his cheeks. He felt the warm of the skin. He felt his happiness. He felt his love.

It felt domestic and normal. It put everything to a stop. The spins of thoughts stopped and there was only David and this moment left.

He took a deep breath and just looked at his son, the baby light - a smiling turtle - was making sure the child wouldn't get scared.

Marc looked at it. Luca had found it in a store and thought it was on brand for them.

Marc would replace it soon, claiming it broke when in reality he just stored it far away, hidden in a box no one ever looked in.

He shook his head and just lifted his baby out the little bed. Without a second thought he sat down in one of the comfy chairs and leaned back, David still sleeping peacefully. He was now resting on his chest.

"I will never leave you" he whispered in his sons hair. Je kept sleeping. "I will love you for the rest of my life and even in death I will always love you. You're my son."

He kissed his head and breathed in. He smelled the soap and shampoo his mother had used when he bathed David.

"You are mine forever and nothing will ever stop that. I love you so much, baby. I will never leave you. I promise. You will never be alone. I will always be with you."

He closed his eyes and locked everything out of his head. Only David mattered. Only his son was important.

But his own words didn't hold any meaning. Not even to himself. Because that's what Valentino Rossi, the man who had walked out on both of them, who had left both - Marc and their beloved baby - had said as well.

[httpvomitello]

In the Glow of the Lab Light *⁠.⁠✧

donnie x male!reader

The lair was quiet, save for the soft hum of Donnie’s lab equipment. Earlier, it had been alive with energy, laughter bouncing off the walls as you, April, Casey, and the turtles played games and ate way too much pizza. But now, everyone had retreated to their respective corners to sleep.

Everyone except you.

The fire was everywhere, roaring and relentless. You could feel its heat, hear its crackle as it devoured everything in its path. The smoke burned your lungs, making it impossible to breathe. Voices screamed your name, but you couldn’t reach them—couldn’t save them.

You woke up with a sharp gasp, sitting bolt upright. The air in the lair was cool, but it felt suffocating against the sheen of sweat on your skin. Your heart raced, pounding so loudly in your ears you barely noticed the tears streaming down your face.

You rubbed your hands over your face, fingers brushing against the scars that marked your skin. The burns—visible reminders of a night you could never forget. A night that had taken everything from you.

You didn’t notice the soft footsteps approaching until a voice, gentle and laced with concern, broke through the silence.

“Y/N?”

You turned to see Donnie standing in the doorway, his bo staff in one hand and a frown creasing his brow.

“I heard you,” he said, stepping closer. “Are you… alright?”

“I’m fine,” you said quickly, your voice shaky and unconvincing. “Just a bad dream. Go back to bed, Donnie.”

But he didn’t move. Instead, he set his bo staff aside and crouched down next to your bed. “That didn’t sound like just a bad dream,” he said, his voice quieter now. “Do you… want to talk about it?”

You hesitated, your hands clenching the blanket tightly. You’d never told him the full story. You’d never told anyone, really. The scars on your body were explanation enough for most people. But Donnie wasn’t most people. Or turtle...

“It’s just… memories,” you finally admitted. “Of the fire.”

His eyes flickered to your scars for just a moment before meeting yours again. “The fire that…?”

You nodded. “That took my family. I couldn’t save them.”

Donnie’s gaze softened further, and he sat down beside you. “Y/N, it wasn’t your fault.”

“I know,” you said quickly, though the words felt hollow. “It’s just… it always feels so real. Like I’m back there again.”

He was quiet for a moment, and then, without a word, he reached out and placed a hand on your shoulder. The gesture was small, but it grounded you.

“I can’t pretend to understand what you went through,” Donnie said, his voice steady. “But I can promise you this: you’re not alone now. If you ever feel like the memories are too much, I’m here. You're my boyfriend, and I don't want to see you suffering because of this, thinking you can't tell me anything. I'm here for you.”

You looked at him, the glow from his lab casting soft purple light across his face. “Thanks, babe.”

A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “It’s what I do. Emotional support genius, at your service.”

Despite everything, you chuckled. “Is that an official title?”

“It is now,” he said, standing up. “Come on. Let’s go to the lab. I have some projects I could use your input on. Distractions are an underrated coping mechanism, you know.”

You followed him, grateful for the excuse to leave your nightmare behind.

You followed him to his workstation, where he rummaged through a drawer before pulling out a sleek, circular device. “This,” he began, holding it up, “is a prototype I’ve been working on. It’s designed to help regulate stress responses.”

“How does it work?” you asked, curiosity momentarily overriding your anxiety.

He smiled faintly, the excitement of explaining his invention clear in his tone. “It uses biometric feedback to monitor your heart rate and breathing patterns. When it detects elevated levels of stress, it emits a calming frequency.”

You raised an eyebrow. “So, it’s a stress-busting gadget?”

“Essentially,” he said, handing it to you. “I haven’t tested it much yet, but… I thought it might help you. Especially on nights like this.”

Your chest tightened, but this time, it wasn’t from panic. “You made this for me?”

“Well, I made it for anyone who might need it,” he said, his voice dropping into his usual awkward ramble. “But yes, I had you in mind specifically. Your well-being is—uh—important to me. Very important.”

The corners of your mouth lifted into a small smile after kissing his cheek “Thank you, Donnie. Really.”

He cleared his throat, clearly flustered. “It’s what I do. Genius inventor and, apparently, boyfriend extraordinaire.”

You chuckled softly, reaching out to take his hand. “You’re definitely both.”

Donnie squeezed your hand gently, his thumb brushing over your scarred skin without hesitation. “Y/N, I can’t erase what happened, but I’ll do whatever I can to make things easier for you.”

“I know,” you said, the weight on your chest lifting just a little. “And i love you for that.”

The two of you stayed like that for a while, the steady hum of the lab filling the silence.

[theswandrowned]

Lucanis x Davrin kissing under the cut that’s all hehe

That night in Arlathan forest was a peaceful one. A gentle breeze weaved its way through the leaves while the inhabitants of the forest settled down for the night. In the distance the sound of the river could be heard and the gentle churning of the artefacts, but other than that there was not another sound to be heard.

Until��

“Are you quite serious?!”

“Yeah. Yeah I am.”

The sound of an axe hitting wood crackled through the serenity of the night, the anger of its wielder very evident even from a distance.

Davrin and Lucanis had never been the best of friends since they had joined the veilguard, but they tolerated each other for their friend’s sakes. They had gods to kill, they couldn’t afford to be at each others throats.

However in the solace of Arlathan Forest, anything goes.

Bellara and Rook had asked the pair to go into the forest to look for some missing veil jumpers while they helped at the veil jumper camp. Both men protested, but in the end they caved to the bosses orders.

Since they had left that morning it had been verbal jabs and snarky remarks and as the sun set on the horizon the argument finally reached its boiling point.

“Do not lecture me about the nature of my job.” Lucanis scoffed with an unimpressed shake of his head. The crow was perched on a nearby fallen log, watching as Davrin hacked away at some wood for the fire they were currently attempting to build.

Or… that Davrin was currently attempting to build.

Lucanis was offering moral support. Or immoral support. Whatever one 

worked best.

“You,” Davrin said through gritted teeth as he slammed the axe down once more. “Are a murderer.” He heaved a sigh, straightening his back to look at the other man. “That is literally all there is to ‘the nature of your job’.” He mocked, throwing the piece of wood he had just chopped at the hungry flames.

Lucanis rolled his eyes at that statement.

“You are a murderer as well, warden.” He mused, shrugging his shoulders. “Not my fault you don’t monetise it.”

“That’s exactly my issue.” Davrin declared, pointing the axe at the other man. “You do it for money. I do it to save people.”

Lucanis laughed.

“Ah, my hero.” He mocked. “God forbid the valiant grey warden ever kill an innocent man!”

“Get fucked.” Davrin hissed in response, throwing a discarded piece of wood in the other man’s direction. Feigning offence, Lucanis reached down and picked up a small pebble, one that wouldn’t really do too much damage, and he promptly threw it at Davrin.

The rock then proceeded to hit Davrin square in the forehead just as the warden turned around to look at him. 

“You started it!” Lucanis shouted as Davrin took a step towards him, axe still clutched in his hands. “I was only defending myself.” He reasoned, holding his hands up near his chest in his defence.

“You’re insufferable you know that?” Davrin snapped. “Let’s just get this 

job over with so I never have to see you again.”

“Ah, my poor heart!” Lucanis joked, pressing his lips into a thin line as Davrin held the axe up towards him again. Hiding his amusement. “You wouldn’t dare, Rook would be so sad.” 

Lucanis was sure Davrin was joking around with the axe, so he continued to push just a little more. Because why shouldn’t he? This job was already boring enough as is.

Davrin, sick of the man’s incessant blabbering, quickly rounded the fire and threw the axe at Lucanis’ feet.

“You chop the wood then wise guy. I’m done with this.” The warden sighed, rolling his shoulders as he turned away from the crow. Hell, even Manfred was better company than this.

Lucanis stared down at the axe before he looked back up at Davrin, boring holes through his back with his glare.

“I am not chopping wood.” He declared, almost sounding offended at the idea.

Davrin let out a frustrated sigh, his head hanging low for a moment before he turned and walked back towards Lucanis.

“Fine then.” He declared when he reached the other man, a mere few inches between them. “I guess you’ll have to freeze.”

Davrin had fully approached Lucanis with the intention of picking the axe up and walking away with it, in order to make sure Lucanis had no way of taking his words back, however he found his gaze locked on Lucanis’s eyes. All he could do was contort his face in annoyance at the smug pools of brown looking back at him.

Lucanis tilted his chin up just a little bit, that smug look in his eyes quickly reflected by the grin that bloomed across his face. 

“Tch.” He muttered. “You want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid, grey warden.” He joked, attempting to take the other man by surprise.

It was a joke.

He was joking, he didn’t really mean it. He just wanted to get on Davrin’s nerves a little bit more. 

However it was his turn to be taken by surprise as Davrin grabbed his one of his wrists and pulled him forward in one swift motion, he barely had time to process before their chests were pressed up against one another and their lips were locked together.

It was rough, carnal, Lucanis felt himself desperate as his hands gripped at Davrin’s waist barely letting himself or the other man come up for air.

Davrin’s hands clasped either side of Lucanis’s face, walking them backwards until Lucanis felt the cold bark of a tree against his back. 

That’s when Davrin paused, pulling away ever so slightly. There was a look of annoyance on his face, as if he was saying “I can’t believe you made me do this.” And Lucanis could only smirk.

“Let’s not tell rook about this, yeah?” The crow grinned, breathless. His lips kissed red, his cheeks flushed.

Davrin could only roll his eyes, pressing into the other man again as he went in for another kiss. One of his hands travelled down to Lucanis’ neck, thumb tracing the dip of his collar bones.

Lucanis pressed back, deepening the kiss at every moment he could, their moans muffled by their embrace.

“I’m still going to kill you.” Davrin muttered as their lips parted for nearly a second, sliding his knee ever so purposefully between Lucanis’ legs. The crow shuddered.

“To be slain by you would be an honour.” 

[mercurial--supernovae]

The way Bibi saw it, the whole incident was pretty much no fault of Apollo's at all. Sounded like set and faer fellow ship members had no idea the exo was here, just happened to come to this planet for supplies. Just so happened to greatly need parts Bibi had recently stolen. Fae just so happened to get involved with Kallex and hire the guy. It was inevitable he'd make some mention or another that'd point in her direction.

None of that would have been changed even if Apollo wasn't on the planet at all or the two had never met. Sure things escalated when they did arrive but she definitely wouldn't have held out against the pair much longer alone. Really it just means a lot that they heard she was in trouble and came to fight for her..

They probably shouldn't of. Clearly Apollo would have saved themselves a lot of grief and trouble.

Some friend he was.

He didn't at all feel right for accepting an apology that didn't feel warranted in the slightest, let alone something he deserved to hear.

"Ok, that much I can agree to. My head's spinning after all that. I might have a little, about like.. the traveler I heard from faer, ghost..? I think?"

He runs a hand through his hair with a heavy breath. It's been a long day, but somehow it doesn't feel like it's going to get any shorter for a while yet.

While Bibi's trying to get their shit together so they can get an understanding on all of this and hear out a clearly hurting friend..

Kallex on the other hand is not going to be the offerer of any kind of emotional support for Set regardless of what state fae were in.

"It did."

Came his blunt answer, tone even and picking up the pieces of his bruised pride, watching the other two leave with narrowed eyes and an angry flick of his tail which makes a disgruntled hiss in response.

"Fine, those terms are agreeable enough. If there are any future run ins with that one though you're on your own. I'm not wasting my energy on a fight I can't win."

Ya.. he's not doing all that good a job at hiding the fact he's in no way thrilled about having been thoroughly outmatched when he got stuck fighting Apollo so fae could try to avoid having to face them.

Their friend's rebuff of their apology stung. They knew in their mind that against all odds, the Hunter had succeeded in preventing things from getting any worse, but in their heart, they couldn't help but feel a sense of responsibility for any trouble coming from their home system.

It was a selfish sense, of course. One person, paracausal godslayer or no, couldn't control the actions of others. But... maybe, they could still make up for those actions.

"...Alright," they bluffed. The exo still had every intention of trying to help rebuild the arachnid's stock if they could help it. If not as recompense, then as a friend. "But I do in the very least, believe I owe you some answers."

They followed after their friend, cloak fluttering in the warm breeze behind them. Apollo couldn't meet Bibi's gaze, but they did follow it back toward Set... Fae had saved Bibi's life. A gesture the Gunslinger couldn't be any more grateful for. Fae certainly had a habit of that, after all...

Their chest hurt.

"It may take a while. I'll probably have to start with a cliffnotes version of my home system's history, from the Golden Age onward, and get a bit into my own personal history and exploits. But I'll get there."

Not that their offer of context wasn't simply a means of putting off having to discuss the Endless Night, but they would honestly rather discuss literally anything else, even Ghaul. At least Ghaul was a problem they were able to solve with bullets...

Set, meanwhile, could feel faer heart being squeezed in faer chest. It hurt. It hurt so badly that fae could just rip it out. But this wasn't the time for an angst-fueled suicide, as meaningless as the gesture would be. Next to faer was the hired hand fae had caused absolutely way too much trouble for, and drawn into way too personal of conflicts.

Not that the Stormcaller had any way of knowing faer greatest love and worst fucking nightmare was on this particular planet, damn the Arachs' eyes. And what were the chances that they and their little friend would be the ones to be most likely to have the resources Dead Orbit needed?

Fae figured that didn't matter much to Kallex though, and Set couldn't blame him.

"This... turned sour really quickly," Set conceded to the chimera, unable to meet his gaze. "I didn't expect my past to come back and fuck things up, and you shouldn't have been involved in a squabble like that at all, and I apologize for that."

Fae opened a screen to faer vault once more, making a mental note of the weapons fae had that could be of use to him, and those he and fae both could potentially sell for exorbitant amounts of this planet's currency. Especially as the Warlock felt fae were going to be here awhile...

"I'll tell you what. I'll knock the list down to those you have clear connections to get ahold of. I'll also increase my payment. I've got a rather packed arsenal, and I'm sure you could make some kind of use for some of these."

Fae'd compile a list later for the chimera, so he could decide what he wanted for himself, and what he could sell. Dead Orbit had a few gunsmiths on their fleet too, so that was a source of powerful weapons fae could exploit to keep faerself afloat.

[melancholic-pigeon]

No, I'm not okay. Thanks for not asking.

[naggingatlas]

'thats not his role in the story!' hm i wonder what the point of it is then. hm i wonder what the dead pixel scene means. hm i wonder what wrong organ are trying to say with the context of 'awesome male friendship' and 'corporate hell where the only woman onboard is constantly under ridicule, abused or forcibly forgotten yet is the catalyst' if not this. hm i wonder how curly's physical agony being a direct parallel to anya's mental agony, stripped of voice, agency, just like her, and being forced to watch what happens while not doing jack shit, just like he used to, plays a part in this. i wonder what the moral of him being the final girl says about living with the consequences of your inaction, because of sentimentality, because of status, career and social. hm i wonder whatever the fuck this game was trying to say. hm i wonder what else is on this person's blog Oh Lord there's yaoi penice.

[ultra-violetra]

so I wanted to say that since I'm really enjoying this event, I will likely continue to post about it, including analysis. I want to talk about the game mechanics and strategies but it's been so hard to do without people thinking you're talking about the discourse. I think as a community we all need to be a little less jumpy about this event, because I've seen posts of people being afraid to talk about the team their watching because they don't want to be dragged into discourse. I think a lot of genuinely lighthearted posts about a fun event are being misconstrued as something malicious

all of my posts are made with the spirit of friendly competition. a lot of other people are posting like this too! people should be able to do this without getting accused of hating ccs or being unfair

i've been posting a lot about red team, specifically because that's who i've been watching the most. i watch pretty much every english speaking qsmp member, it just so happens that right now i have a sub to foolish so i've been watching him so i don't have to deal with ads. because of this, i will probably continue to talk about red team the most. i'll talk about blue and green teams when i watch them! if i had the time to watch vods from every team and do a complete strategy analysis, i would. but I don't have that time. i genuinely don't care which team wins, but that doesn't mean I won't be rooting for certain teams on certain days. like on day 2, red team going from barely visible on the score bar to winning the day was an amazing underdog story! of course i'm going to root for them! and for day 3 I was rooting for green team because i want to see fitmc tryhard!

at the end of the day this is a fun event. it's fun for the ccs so it should be fun for the fandom. and if you're scrolling thru tags and getting upset/annoyed/angry at people posting about a friendly competition, you might need to reevaluate yourself

[keelanrosa]

terfs when a study shows literally anything positive about trans people/transitioning: 'hm i think this requires some fact-checking. Were those researchers REALLY unbiased? Because if they were biased this doesn't count and if they weren't knowingly biased they probably were unconsciously biased, woke media affects so much these days. Have there been any other studies on this? Because if there haven't been this could be an outlier and if there have been and they all agree that's a bit odd, why aren't there any outliers, and if there have been and any disagree we really won't know the truth until we very thoroughly analyze them all, will we? Were there enough subjects for a good sample size? Did every single subject involved stay involved through the whole study because if they didn't we should be sure nothing shady was going on resulting in people dropping out. Are we 110% sure all the subjects were fully honest and at no point were embarrassed or afraid to admit they didn't love transitioning to the people in charge of their transition? Are we 110% sure none of the subjects were manipulated into thinking they were happy with their transition? In fact we should double-check what they think with their parents, because if the subjects and their parents disagree it's probably because they've been manipulated but their cis parents have not and are very unbiased. How many autistic subjects were there because if there weren't enough then this doesn't really study the overlap between autistic and trans and if there were too many then we just don't know enough about what causes that overlap to be sure this study really explains being trans and isn't just about being autistic. How many AFAB subjects were there because if there weren't enough this is just another example of prioritizing AMAB people and ignoring the different struggles of girls and women and if there were too many how do we know sexism didn't affect the results. Was the study double-blinded? We all know double-blinded is the most reliable so if this one wasn't that's a point against it even if the thesis literally physically could not be double-blinded. Look i'm not being transphobic, i want what's best for trans people! Really! But as a person who is not trans and therefore objective in a way they cannot possibly be, i just think we should only take into account Good Science here. You want to be following science and not being manipulated or experimented upon by something unscientific, right?'

terfs when they see a study of 45 subjects so old it predates modern criteria for gender dysphoria and basically uses 'idk her parents think she's too butch', run by a guy who practiced conversion therapy, 'confirmed' by a guy who treated the significant portion of subjects who didn't follow up as all desisting, definitely in the category of 'physically cannot double-blind this', completely contradicted by multiple other studies done on actual transgender subjects, but can be kinda cited as evidence against transitioning if you ignore everything else about it: 'oOOH SEE THIS IS WHAT WE'RE TALKIN BOUT. SCIENCE. Just good ol' unbiased thorough analysis. I see absolutely no reason to dig any deeper on this and if you think it's wrong you're the one being unscientific. It's really a shame you've been so thoroughly brainwashed by the trans agenda and can't even accept science when you see it. Maybe now that someone has finally uncovered this long-lost study from 1985, we can make some actual progress on the whole trans problem.'

[unproduciblesmackdown]

"normal" meaning "unquestionable" & the embrace of that cropping up anywhere such as an aim to be on the unquestionable side of a Normal / Weird binary, thus surely being a comfortable effortless indelible version of Good that stems from "just be normal"

ppl out here like freud 2.0 where well they had the sufficiently normal Nuclear Household family(tm) experience so they're sufficiently normal for it, versus the weirdos who had the Questionable family times so as to end up with Issues, surely unlike all those who are Family Issue free, i.e. normal, no question. like how also Going To School is Normal, so of course there's that idea that anyone who didn't go to school normal style or did but Did That Wrong are the people made Weirder with Issues. & when what's Normal is what's Good is what's Unquestionable it's like why would i need to question it when it's so normal? why wouldn't some rando asshole nepo man be Meritous & Good at business when he's so Successful at it. speaks for itself, same as Your role of being treated entirely differently does, this can't be questioned, blame it on your own failures; again how the supposedly "questionable" experiences (unlike other ones, which need no Legitimate questioning) are pathologized like. people talking about disabled ppl's lacking "social skills" being this meaningful Driver of ableism just like poor people's lacking "financial literacy" being that darn cause of classism & resource extraction, the already Questioned vulnerable [you're just doing it wrong / failing] people are the cause of their own mistreatment, Normal people who are so socially & financially successful are helpless, this victim blaming (can't question it. Normal) sure totally doesn't speak to abuse being "normal" as well

which, good thing abuse totally isn't Normal i.e. in the territory of unquestionable things (with, obviously, the idea that Abuse (Real abuse, if you like) must be Exceptional in addition to, if not to Really be, "obviously" questionable) since if something can't be questioned then surely it's also How Things Were In The Beginning, Are Now, & Ever Shall Be (catholic prayer paraphasing re: god, for referential context) & there's just nothing to do but invest in & play into it For Success & resent / punish / try to eliminate disruption, like people just existing but doing it Weird, c'mon, be a better person please, obviously....meanwhile people out here approaching queerness in a way that accepts & acts according to the unquestionable normal of abuse of queerness, such that oh the "abnormality" of being queer (that is, "normal" people's abuse in the face of awareness of queerness) is unquestionable, such that Oh No, investment in that abuse now & forever world without end amen, & now punching down on the people who are just Being Weird & Disrupting this embrace of the norm: radfems invested in "all bodies will be classed as men & women & the former abuse the latter" & hate women who already disrupt this premise; pointing out ace exclusionism as terf logic just applied in the different context where queer vs nonqueer binary is neatly detected just as the gender binary is & people who already prove that & the way it's defined is not the case are the real problems, infiltrating Unquestionable (Normal) Queerness & delegitimizing it i.e. being The Cause of e.g. homophobic abuse, which will also unquestionably exist, so if we're gonna blame someone as Needing To Change it'll have to be uhhh already also affected Weird people who are ruining things, they're the Real causes of this abuse, so they're basically men, basically cis, basically straight. boooo to trans ace bi pan aro nonbinary gnc people....hardest to be binary gender "same sex" "romantic" "visible" Truly Queer couple currently holding hands in public or in front of family, & it's You Mfs who make it harder, not, yknow, the people who were already always embracing & perpetuating the abuse bolstering Normal(tm) Cishet Just Being Normal. and of course don't forget going after poly people & others disrupting / not accepting premises about Unquestionable Relationship Structures/Requirements. so not just being normal

also the beloved concept broken out that, of course, Being Normal = Being Good, b/c hello, unquestionable?? where it's like meaningless ideas that abuse is Abnormal like ":( hurt people hurt people" (inherently a framing to counter any response to [person is hurting me] that's not silent secret sympathy forever i guess. nobody's using this catchphrase to argue for Hey Quick let's all intervene to stop someone being hurt, lest they go on to hurt anyone themselves) like & yet everyone is hurt, yet not everyone is doing shit where these arguments are broken out after they're already getting away with nonsense & we're telling others to just stop complaining, while also not everyone isn't getting shit on for being "disruptive" & perchance the real hurtful problems for trying to Stop being shitted on, or just have a little more breathing room to day to day live while it happens. everyone's hurt bitch let's get you some "what's the actual patterns & context of supported power imbalance made emergently evident by whose choices & life are constrained & undermined & made smaller" like. or the expanded idea as that well all abuse comes from Being abused, i.e. the Cycle, never mind that abuse is everywhere as per its being Normal, & nobody's intervening every time it manifests despite its supposed exceptionality thus rareness & supposed indication that someone's Being abused to cause it. just gotta roll with it, wow. & pathologize being victim to it, abuser in the making, Vulnerable People are dangerous, those insulated & given more access to systemically backed power in an oh so Normal way are surely oh so Safe as well. the very rich families are all lovely havens. the abused people are treated so well & embraced & supported by all the more Normal people they encounter, certainly not Also isolated, bullied, victim blamed by these Normal friends family coworkers new partners randos in public randos who are "professionals"

but yknow uh literally just be normal lol. aaand post. and like "lol being Anti Being Normal? just like a weirdo" like yeah of course. and what, i'm gonna try to win the heart & mind of someone like "of course you have blue hair & pronouns" & convert them, as would definitely happen if only all transgenderists were Normal about it? and the perspective of "what Unquestionable Good is ever actually coming from striving to get to point at Others as Weird" involves going like "nooo i wanna see myself & be seen as Just Being Normal" instead of like having ideas / arguments about how to be considerate towards people which can be articulated in any other way & involve effort & said consideration (ft. anything able to be questioned)

[noblest-roman-of-them-all]

Contemplating the concept of "potential" when it comes to intelligence and realizing how heartbreaking Logan's "Dreams come true, that's news to me" line in the Crofters Musical.

[dangoulains-devotion]

yuffie has many interesting elements to her but people refuse to move past "i find energetic kids annoying" and it makes me sad

[pepprs]

my anxiety is unbelievably fucking bad rn. i am so scared