#and iemitsu is an asshole who only sees what he wants

[patolemus]

Deep breathes, amber eyes, and orange flames. Tsuna stood powerful and victorious, with his foot pressing against Iemitsu’s chest. The man laid on the floor, defeated and defenseless, the Young Lion of Vongola brought to his knees by his own son.

“I just have one question.” Tsuna’s voice boomed in the silence that surrounded them. He cared nothing for the people watching them, paying them no mind as he looked directly into his father’s eyes. “Why did you let him do it?”

“Tsuna-”

“Why did you let him seal my Flames?” there was a slight quiver on his words, one Tsuna forced himself to swallow. “Were you scared? Scared of what I could become? Of how easily I could surpass you?” in his eyes flashed something like mockery, but it was gone as fast as it appeared.

“Do not speak to me like that. I am your father, you owe me some-” Tsuna’s boot crushed Iemitsu’s chest a bit more, sending the man in a small fit of coughing.

“Respect?” Tsuna let out a broken laugh the hate swirling in his amber eyes. “You lost that when you allowed my Active Flames to be sealed. Did you know, that when you seal a Sky, you seal their soul too?” Tsuna released the man he had once called ‘Dad’, crouching to get to his level. Iemitsu looked away. Of course he knew, everyone in the Mafia knew. “For years, all I could feel was the cold. Clinging to my bones, tightening around my throat, freezing my brain. I know you knew it would happen, I’m not stupid. So I’m going to ask again. Why did you let him do it?”

There was a beat of silence, when no one said anything, and even the breeze seemed to stop. Reborn, looking from the sidelines, tipped his fedora so it would shadow his eyes, and Lal Mirch tightened her jaw as she waited for her boss’ answer. Tsuna’s Guardians, all watching carefully for any signs of their Sky being in danger, held their breath.

“I didn’t want you to be like me.”

Tsuna’s laugh was hoarse, and the tears welled behind those eyes full of hatred and resentment.

“You created a monster anyways, when you sent the World’s Greatest Hitman to train your son.”

[hopeswriting]

i don't know what *fanon reborn* looks like and at this point i'm too afraid to ask

hi nonny, thank you for the ask!

LMAO yeah that's valid actually. and for the quick disclaimer my understanding of fanon!reborn might not be accurate anymore because i know him from way back when i was also reading a lot of khr fics (my brain keeps telling me 2014, but i think it's more like 2016/2018), but basically fanon!reborn is... an asshole for no good reasons and also all the time.

and this is when you tell me “but hope, you just said canon!reborn is an asshole too!”, and you’d be right to because yes i did and yes he is! but where fanon!reborn is an asshole just for the sake of being cruel or because he actually wants to hurt the people he’s being an asshole to, canon!reborn is just one big troll who loves chaos and loves to mess with people whenever he can. but for the sake of fun and being funny. and because the intentions aren’t the same they come off differently in each case, and in the case of fanon!reborn he just comes off as a bully. so even when i could tell the moments where i was supposed to laugh, i was always just left being like “that was just unnecessary and uncalled for yet again. why does anyone even put up with him??” instead.

(this is also when you could tell me “but hope, don’t you think canon!reborn is a bully too? like with tsuna or skull? that’s just writing reborn in character!”. and i’m not gonna argue with you on this one because i think this is typically a case where it depends on your personal sensibilities and where you draw the line, and, well. reading reborn as a bully is of course very easy and understandable, and it’d be hard to argue it’s not canon, but the way i’d personally put it instead is that yes, he very often crosses the line/boundaries of other people, but unknowingly.

for me it comes back to his intentions again, and the way i see it reborn only always mean to tease and not bully. and yes, even when he goes the violent way about it, even if of course it doesn’t make it right. and he probably doesn’t even realize he can and does come off as a bully to other people, because he just assumes that where he thinks their lines are drawn is, in fact, where they’re drawn for real. and confident he’s right about it because how often is he wrong, right? it lets him dismiss complaints about his attitude (tsuna), and even people telling him very explicitly times and times again “hey, can you please stop treating me like that? i really dislike it” (skull) without a second thought.

also re: him being violent and not meaning anything out of it or thinking it’s a big deal. and again, it doesn’t make it right and it is a big deal for the people he’s violent with, but i think it’d be doing a disservice to his character to judge him on that without keeping in mind why he thinks that way. and the why is simply because reborn is mafia to his core and may or may not have known anything else his whole life. and violence is just one of the languages that comes the most naturally to him to interact with the world and people, if not the first one altogether. but that’s actually not even relevant here because to him he’s probably not being violent at all. all those punches and kicks and pinches etc? to him it’s probably just his equivalent of a tap on your hand. a flick on your forehead. him pinching your cheek, etc, etc, you get it.

and i can’t quite imagine what he’d consider as proper and genuine violence would look like when he’s the world’s greatest hitman, but i certainly can believe reborn can do so much worse than anything we saw him do in canon. and that still being seen as acceptable for mafia-standards. i mean, remember what nono did to xanxus? and how that was him being merciful with him? and the way iemitsu knocked tsuna unconscious in one punch to teach him a lesson (< in the literal way, i don’t mean he just wanted to beat his son’s ass for the sake of it lol)? so not only reborn’s behavior is actually super mild (to him), it also literally doesn’t even make it as something he even calls violence to begin with (again, to him).

and okay that was a long digression lol, oops, but yeah, the way i see it reborn is a bully to the people he only means to tease because they just don’t have the same boundaries, but he never actually goes out of his way to be hurtful to them with his behavior in a way where it’d linger and would make them come to resent him. like, the intention is never to actually harm. because yes he can and is mean and doesn’t care to be nice/kind either, but i still genuinely believe he doesn’t have a mean streak in him all the same. i mean, just look at his interactions with lambo. if he doesn’t care about you then that’s that, he’ll just move on with his life and ignore your very existence, and will deal with you only when you actively remind him of your existence again. and even then while still mostly ignoring you lol. and personally i think that makes him more complex and compelling as a character than him just being an asshole with people because he knows he can get away with it as one of the strongest people in the world.)

and that’s of course totally fine because to each their interpretation of the characters, right? but what really rubbed me the wrong way and broke my suspension of disbelief is that the attitude described above (the fanon one) is always glossed right over. and it’s because they actually didn’t mean for him to come out that way, were actually going for some fun banter/teasing and reborn being his canonical troll self, and so he was never called out by either the narrative or the other characters for his attitude. except he didn’t come out like that, not to me anyway, and i just couldn’t keep buying that reborn cared about them or that they cared about him in return.

and i think i can actually guess why fanon!reborn missed the mark with me so often. he just fell prey too to that-idk, trend? where the fans latch on a few selected core traits of the personality of a character, and reduce them to them and them only. which was bound to miss the mark with reborn when canon!reborn is all about balance between all the different sides of his personality. it’s like, he’s literally the biggest threat in the room at pretty much all times except for when his fellow arco are around (and even then because he’s canonically the strongest arco), but he’s also a very playful character who likes to mess around and doesn’t take himself seriously, but he still doesn’t make the mistake of ever letting other people forget he is the biggest threat in the room, but also doesn’t make the mistake of letting it get to his head, and that’s, imo, the framework within which he expresses his personality accordingly.

but okay, let’s just pick and choose the traits of his personality we like best, that too is fine, whatever you want to do, right? and at least when it comes to reborn his fanon version isn’t an entirely different character like *coughs* luce *coughs* some others we shall not name lol. but it’s just my luck that the way they wrote those selected personality traits the most often, and the way they interacted with each other’s really just irked me to the point i couldn’t keep reading those fics. and that’s why fanon!reborn personally doesn’t do it for me.

(and in case you’re wondering about what i think those personality traits are, i don’t want to go in details with them because i’ve already said plenty here that might tick people off lol, but the way i see it it goes something like this:

(canon) reborn likes chaos and fun and to mess with people, and is all around a very playful character. he's rough in the way he expresses that but never has the intention to hurt even if it does end up hurting the people around him because he mistakes where their boundaries are -> (fanon) his playfulness doesn’t survive the trip to fanon (lol) because they get his intentions and inner working/reasoning behind it wrong, so he just comes off as an asshole who likes to be an asshole and hurt the people around him just because he can.

(canon) reborn is the world’s greatest hitman and the strongest arco and is among the best in many other fields too and knows it -> (fanon) reborn is better than everyone at everything and is full of himself and barely has to lift a finger to make other people do what he wants.

(and my issue here is that 1) reborn knows exactly what he’s worth and is very confident in his own skills, yes, but that’s exactly why he doesn’t feel the need to flaunt and reassert how better he is than everyone else all the time, and 2) reborn being among the best of the best himself, it means most of the people he’s surrounded with are also among the best of the best in their own right, the arco first and foremost, and like. they’re prideful in their own right too and would not just let reborn boss them around. they wouldn’t hesitate or be afraid of standing up to him or challenging him either, even if yes, in the case of a full-blown confrontation, reborn is the one most likely to have his way.)

(canon) reborn isn’t one for big show of emotions or being open about or straightforwards with his feelings, but he still expresses himself and is able to get his feelings across in his own way -> (fanon) reborn is too cool to show he cares, but he’s so perfect at it he never shows that he does, in fact, care, and you’re left wondering if he really cares and why anyone would care back enough to put up with him.)

[dearcat1]

(Oblivious)

Part 2 of An Exercise in Patience

The Varia Commander calls for a family meeting because what the fucking else is he supposed to do? He isn’t the one that the omegas come from for comfort, that’s his father. He’s the one omega’s come to when they need to report a threat, when they need something dealt with. And in those cases, Xanxus points them to the nesting room and goes to kill whatever needs killing. The assassin has no idea what he’s supposed to do with an omega who is so clearly against Xanxus so much as reaching for him. 

It should be comforting that Xanxus isn’t the only alpha Sawada wants nowhere near him but it isn’t. Mostly because if Sawada had his way, there would be no alpha in his vicinity. Which would be self-defeating, how the fuck are they supposed to soothe him, analyze the problem and fix it if they disagree on the very basis of the problem? Sawada is an omega of the Vongola and he should know his pack is there to support him. Sawada, for his part, doesn’t consider Vongola his pack at all. This time, Timoteo’s fuck up is so vexing that Xanxus can’t even find it in himself to feel smug about it. 

How the fuck do they fix this?

Not that Timoteo even realizes that this is a problem. So secure in the old man of his welcome that he’d chuckled weakly at Xanxus’s report, stuck as the asshole had been in his hospital bed. A perfectly decent plan was ruined by Xanxus’s instinctual drive. It would burn if it wasn’t so damn obvious that nobody else can be bothered to see it. Except for Reborn, who seems so damn frustrated with the damn thing that it has created the strangest and unlikeliest alliance Xanxus has ever been a part of. 

Sawada arrives before Timoteo, greets them with the same nervousness and fear Xanxus had thought connected to the ring battles. There are no pups in sight. Xanxus doesn’t miss that detail, Iemitsu doesn’t seem to care. The man smiles, all eager, proud sire, gesturing for his pup to cuddle up to him until the pack alpha decides to join them. Sawada blanches and rushes to the chairs further away from both the Varia and the CEDEF. 

Great.

Xanxus stares up at the ceiling, eyeing the omega from the corner of his eyes. He can tell his squad is doing the same. Discreetly, they’re all assassins after all. And because they’re assassins, they can tell Sawada is unnaturally aware of the movements of everybody in the room. There’s enough tension in the omega’s body that Xanxus is surprised by the self-control. He’s seen omegas purr to soothe themselves in less stressed out moods. The Commander doesn’t want to know what that says about Sawada’s environment. 

There are no attempts at self-soothing. Not only is there no purring, but there are also no attempts at nesting, cuddling a member of his elements. Nothing. The only concession of the omega’s state of mind is the fingers rubbing the edges of his hoodie. 

His attention is called away when the door opens, Timoteo slowly walking in with his men following behind him. It doesn’t mean Xanxus doesn’t notice the way Sawada goes rigid, eyes on the floor but fangs bared. Resisting the urge to shift, Xanxus reminds himself that his intervention is unwelcome. If he reprimands the omega for the disrespect, Sawada will never trust him. If he offers comfort, Sawada will feel threatened. Xanxus has to let it go. At least for now, until Xanxus knows him better.

“I’m glad to see you all healthy.” Timoteo smiles and Xanxus ignores the happiness in the expression. Whether it is true or not, he can’t tell. 

Iemitsu is the first one the pack alpha greets and the blond sucks it up eagerly. All throat bared and fond chuckles. Xanxus endures the wrist scenting his neck for his own greeting, inclining his head in simple concession because if nothing else, Timoteo has more experience with this than Xanxus does. 

The problem comes when Timoteo tries to welcome Sawada. The omega pulls away, pushing the alpha’s hand aside gently. Timoteo’s answering chuckle is fond and accompanied by a soothing purr. “Tsunayoshi,” Nono goes to try again. “I know it’s been a while.”

“I don’t want you to touch me.” Sawada goes so far as to push the chair back to avoid Timoteo’s hand. 

It’s brief but the Varia Commander knows Timoteo saw it, heard it. That was a flash of fang, a low growl. Tsunayoshi means it. Nono blinks, stepping back and turning to Xanxus. The assassin snorts, he fucking told them. It’s not his fault they refused to listen. At least Reborn’s gun casually glinting under the sun makes sure nobody feels like pressing shit. They can’t afford to fuck this up anymore. 

[sparklecryptid]

blood on the water

i MEANT to post this here too but forgot. anyway here's the first chapter of blood on the water. warning for temporary character death and timoteo eating a kids flames and being a general asshole.

also on ao3 here

Naoki is a sick child. He hurts and hurts and is clumsy enough that he has broken and dislocated more bones than a child his age should have.

Naoki is a sick child; but he knows that his mother loves him, he knows that his brother loves him. That Tsuna brings him treats when Naoki can’t go to school and Tsuna holds his hand when the doctor comes toward them with something scary. Tsuna is his brother.

And Tsuna has swore to protect him. Naoki believes him, believes that Tsuna will protect him. Believes that with his whole heart but when he sees a man reach toward Tsuna with a hand full of fire Naoki runs and jumps in front of the old man that their father brought home.

Something is Naoki screams to him that his man is bad, that he is terrible and no good and that he needs to grab Tsuna and run.

The man is faster, he takes his hand and places it on Naoki’s belly, the fire that the man wields (almost like his and Tsuna’s but the man’s fire seems dark and scary) reaches into Naoki and latches onto the warmth that Naoki holds close to him. The warm that brings the fire he and Tsuna play with and Naoki wants to scream but he can’t. His scream dies in his throat, he’s being torn apart, his fire is being taken and taken and he’s being eaten alive and he can’t do anything. The old man is eating him and gorging himself on the fire Naoki has and Naoki can’t do anything.

He wants to scream for Tsuna but he can’t, behind him his brother is frozen. Shocked and still and Naoki loves him. Naoki loves his brother. Naoki loves his brother and will not let anyone like this old man hurt Tsuna.

He refuses.

Naoki doesn’t scream or run because that would mean the old man would target Tsuna and Naoki will not let that happen.

It seems like it lasts for hours. It lasts for less than three minutes and Naoki falls to the ground.

-

The truth of things is that death comes for everyone. It is a consuming thing, a thing that takes and takes and takes. Death cannot be stopped or halted, merely postponed, and to a man such a Timoteo the idea of being conquered, of being consumed by such a thing is preposterous.

Timoteo has torn lives apart, has bathed himself in blood and gore until all that he touches is stained red. Timoteo is the type of man who regrets little, and as he stays into the bright orange eyes of the Sawada Naoki - the boy who had told Timoteo no - he is consumed by a terrible hunger.

‘You could take him,’ A voice, dark and terrible whispers to Timoteo, ‘Take him and feast on his Flames until he has nothing else to give.’ Because the twins Flames are strong, and only one would be needed to give Timoteo the strength he needs to continue, only one would be needed to extend Timoteo’s reign by another few decades and then the other could be used.

Iemitsu only needs one child, to fulfill his urge to be parental, and it would be a waste to let one man’s desire for a family ruin everything Timoteo has worked so hard for.

There is no regret when he consumes the child’s Flames. No regret when the child falls limp and broken in front of him, there is no regret when Naoki eyes go dull with the mask of death and when Timoteo looks at Tsuna the other boys eyes are bright and glowing and the child launches himself at Timoteo, as though he knows that Timoteo had done something terrible.

It takes no time at all to seal away Tsuna’s Flames, to put the boys together under a tree and wait for Tsuna to wake and realize that Naoki had passed away in his sleep.

Naoki was always a sickly child after all, it should be no surprise that he died.

-

Tsuna wakes up. He wakes up to his brother lying limp at his side and Tsuna wakes to a world that is grey. Everything seems muted, as though he’s watching the world through dirty glass and he hates it because it’s wrong. He turns to his brother, to ask Naoki what happened only to see his brother staring at him with dead eyes.

“Naoki?” Tsuna asks, moving away from his brother only to watch Naoki fall into the space Tsuna was in previously, “Naoki!” Tsuna scrambles toward his brother, slipping on nothing and landing on his brothers chest and Naoki doesn’t move.

Doesn’t wake.

Doesn’t breathe.

And Tsuna can feel his own heart rate pick up, can remember all the doctors visits he went with mom and Naoki too and Tsuna does not know death but he knows that death exists. That Naoki was always sickly and hurting and that sometimes mom clung to him and cried because she was hurting because what if Naoki disappeared? What if her baby died?

Tsuna knows that death means that something is gone, that they disappear and his eyes hurt with tears as he stares at his little brother. As he stares at his twin who he promised that he would protect no matter what and Naoki doesn’t move.

Tsuna screams, and the adults come running.

-

Death is a thing that should only happen to someone once.

Should is the keyword here. When Naoki dies, determined and regretful he finds himself in a dark space full of stars. The black of the area around covered in nebulae and constellations. The sight of a star going supernova burns his eyes and he blinks rapidly to clear the spots in his vision as the light of the supernova dies and he finds himself blinking at an adult who looks like him but older.

The man has a cane by his side. The cane has lavender and wisteria burned into it and then the flowers are painted in their respective hues. His skin is a light brown and his hair is the same. The man’s eyes are the only part of the man that looks different than Naoki. Rather than the brilliant orange that Naoki himself sees when he looks in the mirror the man has eyes that are a shocking shade of indigo.

“Are we related?” Naoki asks, looking up at the man who seems as confused as he is.

“I-“ the man stops, and stares at Naoki, taking in the similarities between them and then blinking like he’s seen a ghost. Naoki supposes that that part is true at least, Naoki is dead after all.

“I don’t know?” The man finishes awkwardly.

“Oh.” There’s silence between them for a moment before Naoki makes a choice. “I’m Naoki.”

“Huh,” the man says, “That’s my name too.”

Naoki beams at older Naoki. “That’s great! We are name twins!” Older Naoki watches as Naoki falters at the last word.

“Did you have a twin?” Older Naoki asks, his voice painfully gentle as he sits on the nothingness that suspends them in the starlit sky. Naoki sits next to him.

“Yes.” I died for him, Naoki doesn’t say but Older Naoki seems to know that regardless as sorrow enters his gaze.

“That sucks,” Older Naoki tells him, his indigo gaze softening as he looks at Naoki. “So do you know why we’re here?”

“We died.”

“Well yes,” Older Naoki says, “I know that. But what do we do now?”

Naoki pauses. “Could we go back?”

Older Naoki looks as though he’s just seen the sun dawning.

“I think we might be able to,” Older Naoki says, “Do you want to try?”

Naoki reaches out into the sky with his flames, brilliant and orange, searching for confirmation that they could go back and Older Naoki’s flames, indigo and rolling like mist are pulled out and into the search as well.

“What-“ Older Naoki looks down at himself, glowing indigo and then at Naoki who is glowing orange with fire.

Above them the stars dim and Naoki looks at Older Naoki and knows the man in front of him as himself.

“We’re dead.”

“Died at the same time,” this facet of him agrees and hands Naoki his cane. “Live for us?”

“The old man ate too much.”

“Yes, but we’re the same aren’t we? I don’t see why we can be one.”

“I want to go back,” Naoki says, as the last of the stars vanished, “I want my brother.”

-

Naoki wakes up not to the blue sky that sings to him but to the sight of the wooden lid of a coffin.

He sighs. He knows that his family is mourning, that he’s been dead for a while but did they have to bury him?

Of course they did, a part of him whispers, They love us.

“Yes,” Naoki says to himself as he uses the smokeless flame of his Sky to burn away pieces of the lid, “They do.”

Doesn’t mean that he appreciates having to dig himself out of his own grave. But he does, because he’s alive again, because he has a brother to protect, because the Older Naoki is also Naoki now and he might be weak and small and a child but he still needs to get out of this grave.

So he digs.

And digs.

And pull on the Mist to make it his body believe that there is more air in there than there is.

And he digs some more, and breaks through the surface in the middle of the night gasping for breath as they let their illusion fade. Naoki pulls himself out of the grave, his shoulders sore and aching and he hopes that he didn’t pull or dislocate something again.

He closes his eyes, to rest just for a moment, but a shadow falls over him and he opens his eyes to see a man with white hair staring at him.

Naoki waves.

The man looks mildly amused but mostly irked, as though something has happened that was unexpected.

“Hello,” Naoki says, “Do you have any water?”

-

The man takes him in. His name is Kawahira and he says that Naoki can’t go back to his family. Naoki bristles at that, bristles at the implication that his family doesn’t need or want him.

He opens his mouth to protest but Kawahira reminds him that Timoteo is still out there.

Timoteo.

The beast of a man. That man that had taken Naoki’s Sky and killed him. The reason why Naoki’s Flames now have jagged and sharp edges, the reason why his Sky and Mist are stitched together by death and the reason why Naoki remembers.

There was a life where Naoki was a Mist. Where Naoki wandered and stole and killed. Where he stayed out of Mafia business as much as he could and just as he was planning on retiring he had been killed. Caught in the crossfire between the Vongola and another family.

And now that Naoki is him, and he is that Naoki, and together they are one person with a shared past and Flames that will never be as beautiful or while as they once were.

Naoki knows his Mist is small compared to others, that his Sky despite being vast is broken and missing pieces. Naoki knows no one will want him as a Guardian or a Sky and that he will have to protect himself in order to protect his family.

That he cannot let his family know that he is alive lest they get caught in the crossfire.

He will also admit that a part of him is scared, terrified of being found by Timoteo again. Terrified that Timoteo will take and take and take. That the old man will consume Naoki until there is nothing left and as much as he yearns for his family he thinks that perhaps he is more terrified of Timoteo.

“What do I do then?” Naoki asks, a pleading note in his voice, “What can I do?”

“Become someone else,” Kawahira says, “Isn’t that what Mists are known for after all?”

-

Sawada Naoki is dead. He is dead and buried. Thrown into a grave and left to rot.

Sawada Naoki is dead, but Tanaka Naoki is still alive.

-

[therainroguefanfiction]

⁂ My Way (Xanxus)

Genre: Crack, Romance ☁

Word Count: 1,912 ☁

Pairing: Reader x Xanxus ☁

World: Katekyo Hitman Reborn! ☁

Song: “My Way”, Limp Bizkit ☁

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

『Special. You think you’re special. You do, I can see it in your eyes.』

Xanxus was the leader of the Varia, a special assassination squad within the Vongola Family. He was filled with anger and hatred, more so than anyone else. His attitude was that of a king, as if he were better than everyone else in the world, as if he ruled it.

Xanxus was a spoiled brat who usually got everything he wanted handed to him on a golden platter.

Even after the ring conflict with Sawada Tsunayoshi and company, he still whined and cried about how he deserved to be the tenth boss of the Vongola family. Even after the rings had rejected him, he still felt like it was his right. He refused to accept the truth and chose to walk around the Varia Headquarters acting like a two-year-old who just had their candy stolen.

Xanxus felt as if he were special. It was clear that he was no more special than anyone else in the Varia, and yet he refused to accept that he was anything less than perfect. It showed in his eyes every time he looked at his subordinates or anyone else for that matter.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

『I can see it when you laugh at me, Look down on, And walk around on me.』

Xanxus was a man that looked down on his subordinates, the kind of man who could care less whether his allies live or die as long as he gets what he wants. He walks around on them and does whatever he feels like, while they sit back and have to take it.

You knew this fact very well. After the ring conflict ended, Iemitsu sent you to the Varia as an undercover so that you could watch over them to prevent history from repeating itself. Within just a few days, you began to get extremely sick of the boss’ childish attitude. You felt sorry for the silver-haired male who often had things thrown at his head. After all, Squalo was the only one who wasn’t afraid of actually standing up to the man, and he paid for it.

“What do you want now?” you heaved a sigh of annoyance as you stood in front of the black-haired man. He was sat in his big red chair with gold lining, one leg crossed over the other. He was staring down at the red liquid in his glass.

“Make me some food.”

“Go to hell, dumbass.”

The other members of the Varia were pretty sure you had a deathwish.

His red eyes narrowed as he turned his glare on you, swirling the wine in his glass, “What did you just say, trash?”

“Hard of hearing? I knew you were old but damn.” you scoffed.

The man stood up, yelling out a string of curses as you dodged the various household objects he was hurling at you, ducking and running out the door. You had a way of pissing him off more than anyone else in the house.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

『Just one, more fight, about your leadership. And I, will straight up, leave your shit. ‘Cause I’ve had enough of this. And now I’m pissed.』

If it’s one thing that Xanxus always liked to make clear, it’s that he is the leader and no one else. He makes sure to throw that around at least once a day, if not more whenever someone angers him.

Because of his testy temper, Squalo and yourself are usually the only ones dealing with him. How did you get so lucky, you wondered.

“Go and buy me some more wine, trash.” Xanxus ordered, waving his hand at you as if you were some dog that would lick his boots.

“Tch. If you want wine so much, then get it your damn self.” you countered, standing firmly with your arms held behind your back, a sign of respect you had gotten into the habit of showing over the years.

His glare darkened, “I am the boss. You are the subordinate. You do what I say and I am ordering you to go and get me some damn wine!”

“As far as I’m concerned, you’re just a little boy who likes to think he’s in charge.” you muttered, leaving the room before he had a chance to start his ‘throw-countless-objects-at-person-who-pissed-me-off’ tantrum. His hissy fit could be heard all throughout the house. His yelling and cussing, various sized objects being thrown at the door and walls. He really was nothing more than a child.

How had you gotten into this mess?

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

『Just one, more fight, about a lot of things. And I, will give up everything. To be, on my own again, free again.』

One would think you were staying at the Varia manor and putting up with Xanxus’ bitching because you had been assigned to do just that. That wasn’t the case, however. Iemitsu had asked you if you wanted the assignment to come and watch over them. Naturally, you agreed, not wanting anything bad to happen to the members of the Varia.

Fuuta had always told you that you were a solid 3 on the ‘soft-hearted’ ranking.

You weren’t sure whether or not Xanxus knew this fact, but if he kept pushing like he was, you would gladly leave just to be free again. It had begun to feel like you were trapped here.

And that’s just how he wanted you to feel.

“What the hell am I supposed to do with this?” Xanxus motioned to the plate of food that you and Lussuria spent all day making for him, a look of disgust etched onto his face.

Lussuria held tightly onto the spoon that was clutched to his chest, looking down at his shoes. He was both disappointed and worried; he didn’t want the short-tempered male to unleash his fury upon him.

“It’s called food, dumbass.” you snorted, resting your hand on Lussuria’s back. He looked up at you with both gratitude and worry; he, along with everyone else, thought you were crazy to challenge their boss.

Xanxus growled, throwing the plate across the room and stalking out, muttering under his breath about ‘useless trash’. You clenched your fists, more than ready to teach that man a lesson. However, you had been clearly instructed by the ninth that you were not allowed to hurt him unless absolutely necessary.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

『Some day you’ll see things my way. ‘Cause you never know, where. You never know where you’re gonna go.』

You’d think that, with so many differing opinions in the house, that Xanxus would at least give one of them a try, but no, only his opinion was right –  no one else’s. He was always right, and everyone else was always wrong.

“I said no, damn it!” Xanxus growled, glaring at the group before him.

“Would it really hurt?” Levi asked, quietly. He was afraid to go against the boss, but he really wanted this, as much as everyone else.

“Yes, it would! I can’t stand cats!” he hissed, glaring at the small orange kitten in Bel’s hands.

Hard to imagine, isn’t it? The Varia actually wanting a pet kitten – which Levi and Lussuria had found outside – and actually being able to take care of it without harm. The only problem? His highness doesn’t like cats.

“Aww, come on, boss. I’ll keep him in my room.” Bel grinned, scratching the kitten’s ear as it purred in response.

“Damn it, no! I don’t give a damn what any of you pieces of trash says! That thing is not staying!”

“It’s an animal, not a thing, your dumbassness.” you commented, moving closer to the blonde so that you could scratch under the kitten’s chin.

“I don’t give a damn what it is! The answer is no!” With that, he stormed off, refusing to hear any more.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

『This time I’m going to let it come out. This time I’m going to stand up and shout. I’m gonna do things my way.』

One month later and enough was enough.

“That’s it!” you screamed, glaring at the male before you. “I’ve had enough of your damn attitude, Xanxus!”

He sneered, getting up and grabbing a fistful of your dress shirt in his hand, “What was that, trash?”

“I’m done dealing with your childish attitude, I’m done dodging glasses every time you get pissed, and I’m done with you treating your subordinates as if they were nothing. I’m done with you.” you pushed him away, heading towards the door. You stopped as a glass broke against the hardwood, just a few inches beside your head.

“You can’t leave.” he growled, “The ninth sent you here to watch us. You’re not allowed to leave.” So he did know, at least part of it.

“Oh?” you turned around to stare at the male, a smirk on your lips. “Guess what, your highness? I was asked, not ordered. I can leave whenever the hell I feel like it.” you opened the door and headed down the hall towards your room.

His footsteps echoed behind you, letting you know that he was following close behind. “I’m not allowing you to leave!”

“You can’t order me to do shit!” you made a grab for your bags, which you had previously packed, but failed when he grabbed your arm and slammed you against the wall.

“You belong to me, and I will not let you leave,” he growled dangerously, his grip on your arms tightening.

“Fine, I’ll stay… on one condition,” you smirked.

A scowl found its way to his lips, “What condition?”

“Back off.” You answered, “Stop being such an asshole and let the others speak up.”

He growled, clearly not happy with the condition.

You shrugged, pushing him away and grabbing your bags.

“Fine!” he growled again, finally pushing his pride to the side. “I’ll listen to what they have to say, but I won’t go along with it!”

You smiled, “It’s a start.”

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

『It’s my way. My way or the highway.』

Amazingly, Xanxus did stick to his promise. Minus a few slips and broken glasses aimed at Squalo. The other Varia members were starting to feel more comfortable when voicing their opinions, not having to worry about getting hit with something or shot at. Bel was clearly enjoying the way the boss bit his lip and clenched his fists until his hands turned pure white.

It was killing the Varia’s boss, but he held up to his promise.

“I fucking hate you,” he growled, glaring at you as you walked into his study. He was sat in that same chair with a glass of red wine in his hand.

You smirked in satisfaction, “I love you too, idiot.”

He scowled, standing up and wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against his body. “Damn trash,”

“Damn idiot.” you mimicked, smirking as his lips came crashing down against your own. “Oh! And before I forget, Xanxus…”

He raised an eyebrow in silent question.

“Bel and I kept the kitten.”

He blinked, staring at you. “YOU WHAT!?” The sound of yells, laughing and thrown objects echoed throughout the Varia headquarters.

Bel chuckled, playing with the small orange kitten on his bed, “I guess Y/N told him. Ushishishishishi~”

“Do you think it’ll be alright?” Levi asked, dangling a string above the cat.

Bel shrugged, a sadistic smile on his face.

Let’s just say this hissy fit lasted a lot longer than most of his other ones, and anyone who got in the way risked their head.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

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[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Fic idea cause I TOTALLY need more. FFS

It’s KHR so yeah.

Basically Tsuna is a girl and the reason no one knows is cause Nana is a Lightning/Mist and she’s Discorded as a Lightning but is fine as a Mist which is causing her airheaded personality. As well, she’s Fixated (cause I love the fanon of Lightnings fixating on things and just obsessing over them) on the perfect life and the perfect family. Marrying Iemitsu and such was part of this. However, Iemitsu wanted a boy so as far as Nana cares, she had a boy. With her Mist Flames, she subconsciously convinced everyone.

 Except she didn’t and Tsuna is aware that she is a girl but no one seems to notice. At first she doesn’t care cause hey, she can do stuff girl’s can’t, however as time went on, she became aware of how awful it was and she hated it but nothing worked. It was worse with her flames sealed to.

 As well, the Vongola Brothers don’t die when they do in canon so Tsuna ends up completing Middle School with such low marks she doesn’t get into High school and she ends up working as a waiter. 

 This is the good thing though- she finds herself able to convince people she is a girl because she chooses to wear the female uniform and her Seal as well is slowly erroding because unlike canon!Tsuna, Tsuna believes all of her issues were caused by her mother for raising her as a boy. So Tsuna has been rebelling for years against her mother and her Will is super strong.

 So people start thinking Nana is a bit cracked so Tsuna is pretty much allowed to be whatever she wants and she loves it. Except it also sucks cause Tsuna is very pretty and cute and this means a lot of people dating her to get into her pants and she isn’t very... good at telling when this happens.

 It sucks and Tsuna ends up kind of direguarding sex as meaning anything cause it can be used to hurt people.

 Yes this is important.

 So Tsuna becomes 18 and manages- because everyone thinks Nana is nuts- to be able to move out to some city without parental supervision. (Because it was only in 2015 that the age of maturity became 18 in Japan. it may not have been changed to. The info is confusing. Some say yes, some say no.)

 However, Tsuna has no real skills or abilities other then waitressing and she isn’t so good at it. She’s pretty clumsy and soon she finds herself bouncing around jobs. Until she gets offered cash for sex.

 She takes it. 

 So Tsuna finds a job for herself and it’s fine until she activates her Flames when attacked by a John. She is visited by the Vendice who kinda go: Oh, we see. Explanation time.

 However, the Seal is only half off. Tsuna can’t Harmonize still.

As well though, her Intuition and Flames go funky and then they do stuff without her permission. Like fuck with her birth control and she gets pregnant.

 Fuck. So she has a baby and she’s okay with it cause hey, she does like kids. She makes sure her kid won’t know what she does. She’s okay.

 Enter Chrome and Murkuro and Chikasu and Ken. Chrome and Murkuro are instantly drawn to her cause they feel her Flames. Murkuro is suspicious until like he realizes she has no idea what she is doing. So they struggle there. They don’t know how to remove the rest of the seal and it sucks.

 These four end up being like assassins or something or other and they all live in the same building.

 Oh and Tsuna uses Orange Blossom as her work name.

 She has a baby girl she names Sakura cause she feels like it’s proper. Sakura is born deaf and all of her family throw themselves into learning sign langauge for her. 

 Sakura also is a Sunny Sky and her sperm donor is actually Massimo Vongola who had been in Japan on buisness. He did not see the resemblance to the Primo in Tsuna cause Tsuna is a girl. 

 So Sakura has Vongola and Sawada blood.

 Tsuna goes along in life and then her Flames and Intuition go: SURPRISE and pregnant again.

 Sakura is like 2 when this happens and Tsuna is like... 21.

 This baby is a Stormy Sky who has blond hair and has a creepy giggle. Her sperm donor was an assasin on a trip to Japan to visit a certain sushi place and he took a detour through their city for a job to.

 Yeah, you know who I’m talking about. 

 This baby is named... I dunno. Maybe Hitomi? Akira? 

 I like Akira. There we go.

 So Akira is a Stormy Sky and is cute and adorable and Mukuro is an awful influence.

 And then, Tsuna is 24-25, Sakura is five, Akira is three and... the last Vongola brother dies. Xanxus is locked away.

 Reborn is sent to her city but wait, where is Tsunayoshi? He does to the red light district and asks around. Tsuna’s Intuition screams at her and she goes: Alright, FINE. So she reveals to him who she is and blah, blah, blah.

 Reborn is just like: Wtf Iemitsu. Wtf.

 Of course he doesn’t say shit cause this is awful and bad but also hilarious and he’s milking it for all it’s worth. At least until he shows her pictures of the brothers and she goes: Wait, that’s Sakura’s dad.

 And now, shit. He was planning on fucking with Vongola but now he has to contact Nono who hears about this and... well, he’s also finding it funny a bit and he’s pleased his granddaughter may inherit. (So she’s deaf? Who cares. She could totally inherit)

When the last bit of her seal is gone, Tsuna Harmonizes with Chrome, Mukuro, Chikasu and Ken and like no one is shocked. 

 She also Harmonizes with this girl she knows names Rin who is a Lightning and a bouncer who does roller derby and it is epic.

 She also apparently was partly Harmonized with Hibari before the Seal and when Tsuna is unsealed, BANG. It clicks into place and he runs at her. And now she has Hibari who calls every day and shit but after they talked it out, they’re all cool with him staying in Nammori and stuff. Tsuna gets territory and stuff and she’s cool with it.

 And like... Nono also thinks about maybe marrying Tsuna off to Xanxus cause like hey, it could work right? But ha, Tsuna is like: Nope. Not marrying anyone. All my kids will be bastards. Fight me.

 And Nono is... well, he gets it cause he may be an asshole but his mother was one of the strongest women he’s ever met and he loves her deeply and Tsuna kicking ass and taking names makes him think of her but...

 Nono is a little bit of an asshole and tries to push. Tsuna responds with explosive glitter bombs. And deciding her next baby will be from one of her Guardians. 

Side note: Tsuna stopped her job when Reborn happened cause she was to busy and they used the funds provided by the Vongola. Also, Tsuna doesn’t sleep with her Guardians because again, to her sex is kinda worthless and she prefers other forms of friendship or companionship. (Honestly, Tsuna may just be a sex neutral asexual cause she knows she only ever had sex because her boyfriends wanted to and she only wanted to date cause she wanted company. She’s not aromatic but she’s probably demiromantic)

 Tsuna being a woman becomes known in the mafia but only like Nono, his Guardians, and Iemitsu (And those who heard his freak out) know the whole story. everyone else thinks cover which. Sensible.

 Hayato and Lambo are still sent to Japan. But double motive as maybe marry her (which ewww for Lambo cause he’s like fifteen and instead Tsuna claims him as a son and he ends up becoming the Lightning for Sakura and it is amazing.)

 Hayato and Tsuna... I’m saying they do harmonize but it takes a while cause Hayato has issues with women and Tsuna isn’t fond of him being all ‘Decima!’ and stuff. Also the kids. Hayato is not food with kids.

 So it takes a bit but it happens.

 Also, I don’t know but maybe Kyoko ends up Tsuna’s Sun cause maybe she goes to the city and then meets up with Tsuna and lalalalalala oh damn. Harmonization.

 Or maybe Reborn? I dunno. 

 ANYWAY. So this happens and Nono keeps pushing and stuff and Tsuna is having none of it. So when Xanxus does show up she’s like: I ain’t fucking marrying you. Tell your dad no.

He’s like: I don’t wanna marry you either.

And then Tsuna sees Bel and yeah.

 Honestly, I have no idea where this came from.

 But it’s fun thinking about.

[marithehighpriestessofmoloch]

WHAT IS IT WITH SHITTY PAREBTING IN KATEKYO IM LOOKING AT YOU TIMOTEO like shiiiit no I mean ,, aaaaaaaa. now, notice that vongola's supposed to be like ""the most powerful famiglia"" but they couldn't protect their first 3 heirs in line for shit, refused to consider xanxus because he wasn't "blood" and dragged tsuna in despite his refusal until he just kind of gave in :'((( like you're telling me daniela birthed only timoteo? no, I refuse. 😭

RIGHT???? We have Timoteo who didn’t even tell his kid he was adopted, Iemitsu who is an absolute garbagefire, Nana whom I love but she’s, not really a very good parent,,, Gokudera’s dad who was an asshole, Lambo’s family who sent him, a 5 year old, to kill the world’s greatest hitman, Chrome’s parents who didn’t even want to pay her hospital bills, and I could go on

At least Takeshi has a good dad tho (but he definitely should have gotten therapy when his mom died, god Takeshi is such a mess and I love him)

Honestly half the reason I’m writing that fanfic is cause I wanted an excuse to keep the Vongola heirs alive and see what chaos that’d create. And let me tell you, it is glorious. Also because I thought “if Tsuna timetravelled there is absolutely no chance he’d resign himself to lead Vongola again when there’s a perfect opportunity to avoid it” lol

[sanjuno]

You wrote it! LOL, I am amazed and gleeful and yes it is dark, but it's dark in a way that leaves you gleeful that the /bastards got what was coming to them/. Hooray! Although now I have the mental image of XANXUS being raised by Madara and Tobirama

I did indeed write it apparently, because I don’t really have a clear memory of doing so and I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’m really fond of abrupt and inevitable vengeance. It’s what happens when you make an enemy of a self-determined (or at least a ninja raised) person. Once they decide that someone has to die it’s just a matter of picking the moment. Funny thing about humans is that we really don’t expect other people to try and kill us, especially not fluffy bunnies like Tsuna. Which, of course, is why Tsuna’s plan worked so well.

���Hi, sperm donor. Die, sperm donor.” *BOOM*

Conversely, I feel like a Xanxus raised by Madara and Tobirama would have 100% more chill than his canon self. I mean, yeah he’d still be a Wrath Sky, but he’d have Madara to learn techniques from and acceptance from the rest of the Hibari Clan even without him being their blood. Especially if Madara had Resonance with Xanxus (which he very much would, thanks) and then Xanxus found his Cloud from among the HIbari, because the Hibari adopt their Skies into the Clan rather than letting Clan Members leave. (Gotta love that Cloudy Territoriality.) 

Because I’m imagining a Xanxus who gets taken in by Madara when he’s still a child. During the hunt for the Man in the Iron Hat, Madara and his brothers would come across tiny feral street child Xanxus and instantly fall in love with the savage bundle of rage. Of course, Xanxus’ mama is cracked, and she insists that Xanxus has “his father’s Flame” and everyone knows that Xanxus looks nothing like Madara but it’s enough to get Madara’s attention. So Madara takes Xanxus home with him because adoption is a perfectly valid way to have kids and the Hibari can only benefit from having another Sky.

So Xanxus grows up knowing that he was adopted, but also that Madara chose to be Xanxus’ parent despite their lack of blood relation. And from Madara Xanxus learns how to hold the loyalty of an entire Clan. It’s not the all-or-nothing limitation of the Guardian Bonds that are so vaunted in the Western World. It’s a variety, it’s family, because there’s always that one relative that you’d rather throw into the koi pond or set on fire, but you’d still take their side in a bar fight because they’re your asshole relative. And Madara, and then Xanxus in turn, would be the Hibari Clan Skies and all that the title entails.

Then the sealing thing with Tsuna happens, and Madara would go to get Tobirama. Now, this makes things get really interesting, because now Tsuna has both a New Dad and a New Big Brother who are both Wrath Skies. Plus Tobirama as his Other Dad. So when the Vongola show up with their Ring Battle Nonsense, there is a VERY PERVASIVE sense of WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK because the tiny Primo clone has a Wrath Sky “cousin” who is Secondo’s clone. 

Of course, Xanxus prowls around eyeing the Varia because the Sky in him is going “ooh shiny” and the Hibari cultivated parts of him are going “this is Ours now.” Tobirama would just be the Most Proud Dad when Xanxus went out and took over the Varia and brought them home with him. Because yes, assassins are only scary if they aren’t your assassins.

@hamelin-born said:

I’m pretty sure that a Xanxus raised by Madara and Tobirama (Plucked from the ice, given a real family - Madara knows that Rage. Tobirama knows that Will.) would trigger either the apocalypse or end up founding an independent Family of his own that more then rivaled Vongola. Because the best revenge is living well, being fully capable of destroying your enemies, and watching in glee as they squirm on the hook, knowing that they live only at your sufferance.

Oh yes, so in the case of a Xanxus taken away from the Vongola post-icing he’d be 16 or 17 ish? In which case we have a Xanxus who is riding the ragged edge of his sanity, betrayed and well aware of how little he actually means to his “adoptive” father. This would be a Xanxus taken in to the Hibari Clan just after Tsuna was revived, who would see Tsuna (an actual descendant of the Vongola) who Nono was just as prepared to kill.

Xanxus and Tsuna would resonate so deeply with one another here. And with Madara, because Hashirama might have only been his blood in their first life but he was still Madara’s brother ever after, and how many lifetimes ended with Madara dead by his brother’s hand?

Meanwhile Tobirama is staring at Madara and wondering somewhat incredulously why he’d never noticed how much of a mother hen Madara is. You thought the fussing over his little brother’s was bad, but that has nothing on Madara when he has foundlings to mother. Such fussing. (Tobirama is certainly not blushing shut up. Even if he was blushing it would be understandable because the ability to care for children is an attractive trait in a man.)

With Xanxus free, the Varia are in a bit of a conundrum, because do they confront Nono? Do they try to track Xanxus down? Do they wait for communication from Xanxus? Is this a trap by Nono? A test to see if they’re still loyal to Xanxus? Is Xanxus really free? THEY NEED TO KNOW WHAT TO DO AND THEY NEED TO KNOW NOW.

And then Fon drops by to see Mammon and is deeply apologetic about his nephew’s tendency to just take things that interest him. Mammon is just staring at Fon over their strawberry milk. Because how the fuck? Now, to be fair, if the Vongola hadn’t sealed Tsunayoshi then Madara would never have had a reason to go snooping and he never would have found Xanxus’ iceberg, so it’s all Nono’s fault in the end anyway.

Still, there is a slow trickle of the Varia members disappearing or retiring or leaving without warning, starting with Squalo and the other Officers. Except for Ottabio, of course, who ends up in charge of the dregs and sycophants and mooks. None of whom really deserve to be called the Varia and are little better than thugs.

Meanwhile the real Varia are being folded into the Hibari Clan and Madara is delighted look at what a wonderful son he has. Look at how he’s strengthening the Clan. Isn’t he just precious? Xanxus has… no earthly idea how to deal with this. Especially when Madara tuts and tells Bel and the other kids that if their aim is to cause maximum trauma they should cut here and then put pressure there and Tobirama is in the background complaining that Madara should not be teaching the children his bad habits and efficiency is better for contract assassins and it’s all morbidly heartwarming.

Then of course Reborn shows up to teach Tsuna and there is even more DRAMA AND CHAOS than in canon. And yes, Nono and Iemitsu are terrified to find out that this is where Xanxus has been. What is he planning? 

And then Tsuna probably poisons them both with something chakra treated and incurable because this time he wants them to suffer for what they did to Xan-nii, so no mercifully quick deaths for them this time. The Vongola proceeds to get taken over by the cheerfully ruthless combo of Tsuna and Xanxus. The Alliance quick learns that a happy Xanxus is the scariest Xanxus of all.

[i-w-p-chan]

Unholy Payback

Summary: In which Nono's funeral is turned into a spectacle. ("Xanxus, you bastard." "Heh.")

Note: I am sorry for this shit piece of trash fic. Enjoy.

Alt. titles: 'The Drama Queen Gene', 'How to Bury Your Father and His Good Name with Him', 'Professional Mourner', 'Allusions to Illicit Affairs', 'Why to Not Piss off Your Kids'.

Warnings: Crack (To The Extreme), OOC (Played By Xanxus), Don't Try This At Home, Xanxus And Tsuna Are Horrible And Irresponsible And They Do Not Need Any Further Enabling, Someone Help Enma Please (He Needs It), Self-Indulgent, Trash Fic (Sorrynotsorry), Allusions To Illicit Affairs (And All That It Entails), Tsuna's And Xanxus' Dramatic Shit Show, Goddamnit.

Disclaimer: Don't own KHR.

.

"I did not expect to see you here." Enma said under his breath to Xanxus from where the two stood off to the side during the procession of Vongola Nono's funeral.

Xanxus smirked, "I have plans to send my dear old man off. Properly."

Images of Xanxus setting the casket aflame and dancing on the ashes flashed through Enma's mind.

"Oh?" Enma wasn't sure he really wanted to know.

"I brought a professional mourner to the funeral."

"A-" Enma opened his mouth, snapped it shut then spoke up again, "A… a professional mourner?"

Enma was sure he hit his head on the way to the funeral and was hallucinating at the moment.

The funeral passed by in a haze, not that Enma cared. Xanxus was the only reason he was present anyway.

By the time the funeral was about to draw to a close, and the only ones still around where upper echelons of the Vongola and bosses of allied famiglia and their right-hand men, Enma was squinting suspiciously at Xanxus; was he serious when he said that he hired a professional mourner or was he just messing with Enma (even though it seemed unlikely)?

That was when a sound cried out, "Oh, Timoteo! No!"

Enma blinked as a cute guy in a disheveled shirt, messy brown hair and distraught amber eyes, ran to the casket's side before flinging himself at it.

The newcomer wailed. Enma was sure that he was saying something, but he couldn't focus enough through his haze of shock. When Xanxus said professional mourner, he hadn't expected… this.

Enma could only make out words that sounded suspiciously like: 'what about the children?', 'you said you loved me' and 'I can't believe you're leaving me like this'.

As the mourner proceeded to throw allusions to having an illicit affair with the former don that resulted in kids, plus allusions about Nono's sex life that Enma really, really, could have lived his life without knowing, the other dons looked stricken (not that Enma was doing any better, he was sure his mouth was hanging open), in the front row, Sawada Iemitsu looked ready to raise Vongola Nono from the dead to kill him again, Dino was determinedly staring blankly at the ground, Byakuran looked as amused as he always was and Yuni occasionally gave a scandalized gasp from behind a hand (actually, Enma knew for a fact she was trying to smother her laughter).

Suddenly, the mourner rose to his feet, sniffing delicately and dabbing at his eyes with the handkerchief given to him by Iemitsu; the movement attracting the attention of the stunned crowd to the ring the mourner was wearing- the Vongola Sky Ring.

There was a collective gasp as the audience crash landed on the realization that Vongola Nono apparently had an illicit affair with his heir.

(Or did he declare his lover his heir? Some of the people in the audience murmured.)

"I'm so sorry, Timo. I know you wanted me take over the Vongola after you but I cannot, simply cannot, wear the ring you once wore, sit on the chair you always sat on, work on the desk you always worked on and rule over your family. I don't think I'm strong enough for such an inheritance. Your memory shall haunt my waking hours and my dreams.

"For that, I must give over the leadership to your beloved son, Xanxus!"

"Xanxus, you bastard." Enma cursed quietly.

"Heh." Xanxus seemed to find the situation amusing.

(Enma did not blame him. Enma would probably find it highly hilarious after the shock wore off.)

Xanxus strode forward, gracefully accepting the ring from the mourner and escorting his shivering form away from prying eyes.

Enma considered slamming his face repeatedly against a hard surface in hopes of waking up from this extremely weird nightmare- by all things holly, Enma wanted the image of Xanxus valiantly escorting a shivering cute guy away from people while offering a consoling shoulder for the aforementioned cute guy, forcibly removed from his brain and all traces scrubbed away.

Xanxus and the mourner walked towards where Enma was situated before Xanxus let the mourner go into Enma's arms.

Enma had a complete mental shutdown at the contact.

"Hi. I'm Tsuna!" The mourner, Tsuna, smiled up at him.

Enma looked at Xanxus who shrugged at him and sauntered away to his own boyfriend, Dino.

Enma looked back at Tsuna who was staring at him pensively.

That was it; Tsuna was clearly some sort of Black Widow who just had Enma sacrificed to him by Xanxus.

Enma tried to telepathically convey distress signals to Xanxus, but to no avail.

There was a snort, "Relax, I'm not going to eat you."

Enma looked at Tsuna just in time to catch his eye roll.

"I am not going to eat you." Tsuna repeated in a huff, half-amused, as he raked a hand through his hair, "Xanxus just wanted to introduce you to his future Outside Advisor."

"You're going to be the Outside Advisor?" Enma asked, tone neutral.

"Oh, yes." Tsuna put his hands on his hips, "I gave the ungrateful bastard the Decimo position, and he landed me with the position of Outside Advisor. The asshole."

(And that was the start of Enma's acquaintance with the former Vongola heir. Enma still wished he could murder Xanxus for it later.)

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Extra- deleted scene:

"Oh yeah, I'm Iemitsu's son. And Primo's descendant. I have the Drama Queen in my blood."

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End.

Once again, I'm so, so sorry for this shit piece of trash fic. But what type of primarily self-indulgent author would I be if I didn't have at least one trash fic?

[wizardmafianinjapirate]

Colonello has been tasked with keeping an eye on Iemitsu’s wife and child, because for some ungodly reason the lazy bastard can’t do it himself. He can make as many excuses as he wants, but Colonello knows that it’s because he’s married to his work, and cares more about the Mafia then he does his own child. He can’t say the same about his feelings towards his wife, the amount of times he calls her, only to conveniently need to do something whenever his son is brought up.

Colonello sighs from where he’s sitting, watching the child and his mother in the marketplace. He would call her by her real name -Nana- of she wasn’t such a neglectful and distracted parent. He’s already counted ten times in the last hour or so where he’s had to get up and shuffle the toddler back to his mum before he falls into the road or gets picked up by some sleazy asshole on a street corner.

The woman is talking to someone again, and she doesn’t even notice when her kid reaches out to try and touch a knife. She also doesn’t notice when Colonello moves to kneel down and gently stop him from hurting himself. Either that or she simply doesn’t care. He’s not sure which one sounds worse at the moment, but he’s beyond tempted to cut her tongue off before it flies off into the distance with all the wagging it’s doing.

He sends a grumpy face in his text to Reborn, and the asshole sends a pic of himself lounging on a beach with a glass of Champagne and Fon waving lazily from behind him. He complains about the mother and her blatant disregard for good parenting, and Fon sends a text back jokingly saying that he should just adopt the kid for himself.

He scoffs at first -dismissing the idea as foolish- but then he starts seriously considering it. It’s not secret that he’s always wanted a family, and he’s jealous of the people who can find the time to settle down and start one. The more he watches this woman, the more his urge to kidnap the kid and raise him grows.

The toddler wobbles over to him, where he’s gone back to sitting on the bench, and Colonello lifts him up and sits him in his lap. The kid reaches out and pats his cheeks, giggling and making pleased little noises. A soft smile takes over Colonello’s face, and when he looks into those big, brown eyes he decides ‘fuck it’ and stands up with the kid on his hip.

“Guess you’re stuck with me now, Kora,” he whispers, waggling his fingers just to watch the kid laugh at him, and starts casually walking away, as if he hasn’t just kidnapped someone’s kid and already started thinking about the people he can contact to make this kid officially his.

(“We didn’t think you’d actually kidnap him.”

“Well he’s mine now, Kora.”

“I need a drink. This is your fault, Fon.”

“Don’t blame me for this!”

“I just did, bitch.”

“Don’t swear in front of my son, Kora!”

“This is gonna be a long week isn’t it?”)

Years later, when he hears that Vongola is finally looking for their lost Heir -because he’s the only one eligible to take over or something- Colonello will look at his son, Tsunayoshi, and smile. He’ll ask Tsunayoshi what he wants to do, and he’ll smile when Tsuna looks at him with a frown and says he wants to be given the choice to stay with his Dad, because he isn’t interested in being used as a convenient pawn in the Mafia’s game of Succession.

When Reborn knocks on his door, Colonello greets him with a shotgun to the face, and Reborn will take a drag of a cigarette and say that if Colonello wants to give Tsuna this choice then he’s going to need help. Tsuna will smile, and greet his Uncle with a hug and show off his new knife that he stole from his latest Big Kill. Colonello will accept the help, but only because that’s what his son wants; besides, he can’t wait to see the look on Iemitsu’s face when he finds out that Colonello has been raising Tsuna this whole time.

(Figured it would be easier to send it to both you and Sky just in case lol. But yeah, here’s my DadNello drabble thing? Hope it’s alright -Kes)

kdhslkdhlsadasldl IT’S AMAZING

I’M SO IMPRESSED AND IN LOVE RN YOU HAVE NO IDEA (also does this mean Lal is his mum??)

[ao3feed-khr]

Song of the Soul

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2EBBlPi

by Dominique_Icefall

Natsuki was a girl, trying to find her father, and earn his love. She wanted him to be proud of her. Just once, she wanted to see the man who called himself her father act like her father. She was famous now, her music traveled worldwide, but did he even notice?

"Papa loves his little boy!"

Would he only ever see his son, where his daughter stood?

"Mama's already moved on," Natsuki said. "I really should too,"

"Then why are you still standing there?" Takeshi asked.

"Because once upon a time, a little girl dreamed her Daddy would see her as the Princess she was,"

Natsuki wasn't looking at Takeshi anymore. Her thoughts drifting away with an unheard melody.

"What happened to the little girl?"

"She became a Queen, Takeshi," Natsuki smirked. "She never really needed her Daddy after all,"

Words: 1336, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 13 of Prompted Plots

Fandoms: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Characters: Sawada Tsunayoshi, Sawada Nana, Sawada Iemitsu, Reborn (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Skull (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Mammon | Viper, Original Characters

Additional Tags: Misgendering, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Sawada Iemitsu Being an Idiot, Sawada Iemitsu Bashing, Sawada Iemitsu's A+ Parenting, Sawada Iemitsu Being an Asshole, Inspired by Music, Musicians, Music, Female Sawada Tsunayoshi, Tsuna is Not Dame, Everyone Loves Tsuna, Sawada Nana's A+ Parenting, Nana is the best Mom, Parental Reborn, Protective Reborn (Reborn), Immortal Skull (Reborn), Female Mammon | Viper, Famous Tsuna

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2EBBlPi

[dearcat1]

This is only a prompt if you want to but: x27 featuring Xanxus coming to information broker tsuna for info on vongolas missing heir

This just ran away from me and I don't think this is what you were thinking of.

Hopefully you like it anyway.

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Xanxus has a bit of a soft spot for his tiny information broker. The Varia Commander found the little brat at his lowest point, he had been just recently defrosted and still in so much pain but unable to remain confined to his hospital bed.

Pride is a powerful motivator. As is paranoia. A moving target is, after all, harder to hit than a stationary one. 

Tsunayoshi had almost crashed into him, running from a pack of bullies. Admittedly, it had been a terrible first meeting. Xanxus had been furious and in pain and Tsunayoshi had been absolutely terrified. 

The Varia Commander had opened fire and scared Tsunayoshi so badly that the seal had started deteriorating. Just enough for a whisper of Sky Flames to pour out. It was either the fear or the gut wound.

It had been a mixture of good instincts and outright curiosity for Xanxus to find out just who he had inadvertently found. Tsunayoshi Sawada, son of Iemitsu Sawada and, unknowingly, Vongola Decimo. To be, at least. 

His first impulse had been to kill the brat, drop his body on a ditch and be done with it. Ironically, it was the seal on Sawada's forehead that saved his life. After all, Vongola had betrayed them both. 

And Xanxus is just petty enough to want to steal the brat from under Iemitsu's nose. By the time the man will find out, Tsunayoshi will be far more Xanxus' brat than Iemitsu’s. So he had taken the kid back with him to the Varia Castle. 

Convincing Tsunayoshi to follow him had Ben pathetically easy. Show the brat some kindness and Tsunayoshi had been ready to walk into hell itself for Xanxus. And the assassin had trained him up. 

He had shown him how to fight, how to stand, how to command. Seeing the brat's good instincts for diplomacy and alliances, he had sent him to Squalo. And when they realized just how easily the kid could get anybody to spill their life stories to him, they had sent him to Viper. 

Tsunayoshi is the greatest information broker most people will ever meet, second only to Viper. He's unaffiliated, officially. But he's Varia trained and that means something.

Watching all of that happen had been a point of pride to Xanxus. What the Wrath hadn't expected was to get attached in return. 

But it is easy to love the brat. Especially when Tsunayoshi keeps trying his hardest just to make Xanxus proud. So Xanxus had seated the brat down and confessed. He hadn't told him about Vongola and Iemitsu but he told him all about Xanxus' petty plans. His efforts to leash Tsunayoshi to him.

He had been expecting many things, among them betrayed fury. He got forgiveness instead and for the first time, he was thankful that it had been him who found Tsunayoshi first. Timoteo would have eaten his brat alive and Tsunayoshi would have been thankful for it. 

So when the time came that the old man finally contacted Reborn to go out looking for Vongola's Heir, Xanxus had turned around and called his information broker to him. 

The brat comes back with the same ease with which he disappears. They can all thank Viper for that. And Xanxus extends the folder to him. Tsunayoshi reads through it, face open in a way he only allows himself around Xanxus and his men these days. 

"Are you testing me, Xan?" Tsunayoshi wonders, almost hurt. 

"I want that information," Xanxus says, assertively, and doesn't let himself waver. This is his brat, yes. But Xanxus has been betrayed by family before. 

"You already have it," his brat scoffs, dropping the file back in the desk between them. "What the fuck would you have me do? Stand in front of a mirror and exclaim in surprise?"

That gets Xanxus to sit straighter, "you already know."

Tsunayoshi looks offended, "of course I do. What were you expecting?" 

"When were you going to tell me?" Xanxus demands, now getting angry. 

But the brat just rolls his eyes, waving Xanxus' wrath away. "What you already know? I assumed you'd talk to me when you were ready, Xan. I don't know if you noticed but you have a temper."

"You little shit," Xanxus snorts, mouth reluctantly turning up. "Don't get cocky with me."

Flipping him off, Tsunayoshi drops on his own chair. "Fuck off, Xan! You thought I'd betray you!" He points dramatically at Xanxus, "you broke my heart! You asshole, I hope you know. Don't lump me in with those assholes." 

"Those assholes," Xanxus reminds him, "are fucking dangerous and currently hunting you down, shitty brat." 

"Uh hu," Tsunayoshi nods and Xanxus would kick the shit out of him if he didn't know that the brat actually knew to take this seriously. "The important thing here is that you now owe me two afternoons together, just the two of us. You owe me for doubting me, you know?" 

"Right," Xanxus snorts. "I owe you shit, trash. If anything, you owe me for putting up with your bullshit. Get out of my office." 

And if Xanxus feels a little lighter after that, if he does indulge the brat a couple of afternoons… Well, nobody needs to know.