#and idk if this makes sense but its body is like if 'swim' was a shape

[dailypokemoncrochet]

The overall design is very simplistic but the shape was challenging to make because of the uneven way its belly bulges

[anomaliex]

Collection of headcanons not elaborate enough for own word vomit post:

- I don't think Kristen can swim. She has the vibes of someone who never learned as a kid and now it's too late to bring up without being embarrassed. (Also I thought about what would happen if she fell in water — mechanically she's wearing heavy armor, would Brennan just let her swim since she's in universe only in a tracksuit or would she sink without a sufficient strength check? Idk, but that's how I got to the no swimming conclusion.)

- insanely weird hc to have but i think Fabian shaves his arm hair. Also like legs and arm pits i guess but the way more unusual and therefore notable thing is arms. This guy kills any body and facial hair on sight. Like no one has ever seen him with as much as stubble outside of Cathilda or the Bad Kids when they were sleeping over. Why? Idk he just prefers that, no deeper reason. I do think elves generally have less body hair but here his human genes come through so he has to shave. Or get it lasered away I guess. You can do that right?? He's rich. Maybe he'd do it.

- also Fabian's depth perception is dog shit. Using his crossbow is less impressive because Fandrangor is simply a better weapon and his flourishes and manoeuvres rely on melee combat, I know, but to me it's also just that he's better at hitting things real close to him.

- Riz is the kinda guy to have chronic migraines and think it's fine. "Everyone has headaches sometimes and I do sleep a lot less than I should ahaha" (the amount of coffee he drinks is barely saving him from the horrors.)

- Adaine also gets a lot of migraines in what I think are more. Passive non specific visions? Like a gut feeling that's always correct and also makes her body hate her. The proper visions are comparable to absence seizures I think? Like I don't wanna say it's that because it's magic but the process is kind of the same in the sense that she's out for like ten to thirty seconds and it can really suck

- I also think Adaine has synaesthesia! I can't really put this into words well so I'm not even gonna try, but she perceives certain sounds and/or colours at times where there shouldn't be sounds and/or colours. I think those associations also to an extend help in drawing connections between less specific visions and real life.

- we know Gorgug has a drumset in his room I think it's electronic. But like not in a normal way like we have them irl it's some insane artificer shit that would justify so much more noise complaints than a regular one and also could probably have its own pyrotechnics idfk. It's fully a safety hazard but it doesn't even rank on the top 10 of worst things to have in your house that is a TREE that the Thistlesprings casually own.

- I think either Fig or Kristen would be the shortest medium creature type Bad Kid. Like obviously Riz is four feet tall max but he's in a whole different category lmao

- Fig sometimes puts little braids in Jawbone's fur and he happily lets her. He only properly adopted Adaine and Fig has more than enough dads, but he does still act as sort of a paternal figure to her (and every other kid ((which in this case includes Ragh but maybe not Aelwyn)) in mordred manor because he's just a caring guy and it's hard not to grow attached) so that's their pseudo daddy-daughter bonding

- Fabian doesn't like, hate Gilear as much as he used to? Like he still has his moments but overall he thinks he's a good guy and absolutely has the "well I can shit on him but I'm gonna kill this other guy who did. How dare you make fun of my Mama's beloved??" mindset. But uhm he tries to make Gilear work out with him so he can "stop being death fodder". Gilear is a commoner and everyone else in Seacaster Manor absolutely is not and like he likes it and he loves these people but he does kind of live in hell. His wife? Could kill him. His step son? Could kill him. The maid? Could kill him. The dog slash motor cycle?? Could kill him. One hit. Also the entire current Seacaster household are dexterity based fighters they're all so graceful and skilled he's fully just a guy that spills every drink ever on himself

- I think the Hangman loves Cathilda because she gives good chin scritchies (hound form obviously lol) Generally he tends to mirror Fabian's attitude towards people anyway so he's always liked her, but once he started being a hound more she started petting him and giving him treats and he is smitten

- Gorgug (and sometimes Ragh or Ayda) play extreme fetch with the Hangman. Like I need to stress that he's not just a big dog he's large enough to be a mount, which means he'd have to be the size of a horse. Maybe a small horse sure but that's still a horse-sized dog. I think his mini looks fairly big but in my heart he's bigger. So yeah fetch with him (which they mainly do because they want him to feel comfortable in both forms because he's so good) is really big sticks. Like not logs or anything but sticks the average person can't huck all that far. Fabian casts enhance ability on himself so he can also do it, lol. The wonders of multiclassing into bard.

- I think the only Bad Kids who never use makeup are Riz and Kristen. Gorgug doesn't do it every day and not that much but he uses eyeliner sometimes. Fig's makeup is the most noticeable and usually very fun.

- Gorgug has kissed Ragh at least twice. So at least one time after the prom thing. I don't mean this in a ship way I mean this in I look at Gorgug and then I look at Ragh and I go yeah these guys have shared at least one tender bro kiss. I mean I think Gorgug is the kinda guy that would kiss all of his friends if they wanted to because it's not that big of a deal to him and he loves them but not everyone is comfortable w/ that lol. He and Kristen kiss each other on the cheek though, I think (this does not mean he wants to see her naked in public please put your clothes back on Kristen??)

[eldritch-spouse]

Hear me out ok? In the middle of the night u just get rlly needy and horny but u dont have the guts to wake vesper up so u use his belly mouth instead to get off. Idk if im mistaken but i think u mentioned about vesper's belly mouth is awake even in the night?

[Yep, correct! Fem reader.]

TW: Somnophilia; Dubious consent then enthusiastic consent.

It's its own special type of Hell, living with Vesper.

Not because he treats you badly. Quite the contrary, as soon as you started making efforts to accept your new reality, he was the first one to volunteer any sort of help, hoping to make you feel as comfortable here as you did in your home, back on the surface. And, putting aside the volumes of mixed feelings you have regarding all this, it's... Sweet of him to at least care about your comfort.

That's not the problem.

The problem is your ceaseless libido.

Ever since you woke up in this ring, in his mansion, you've been burning up with arousal. You're always some degree of wet, sensitive, mind heading to the gutter far too frequently. You want everything and everyone, you want Vesper's touch on your body at every. Possible. Moment. You want him to slip his fingers and tongue anywhere he can and you want him to pick you up like a fucktoy whenever he pleases- Because it feels like nothing will ever sate you these days.

When you brought these concerns to the King, he was more than thrilled by the knowledge, though also a tad empathetic. It must be jarring, yes, he cooed, but you'll soon come to embrace your own desires. They're your true nature, after all.

It was... A strange conversation. To say the least.

Thankfully, Lust is the last place in the universe where you can be judged for excessive sexual cravings. It isn't the possible judgment of others that stops you from going all in, your own thoughts are what makes you hesitate.

Because, even if Vesper has made it very clear that you're to deliberately seek him out when you're bothered -No matter what he's up to- He can't possibly mean all the time, right?

It's common sense that you're not supposed to wake the Icon of Lust from a dead sleep just so you can have sex. How selfish of you! He's a King, he needs his rest.

But Gods... You're so fucking horny.

You can feel your heartbeat in your cunt. Maybe it's from sleeping in the same bed as him, where his loose fluff spreads sometimes, getting into the sheets, contaminating them. That must be the cause of your misery, in retrospect.

Well... You could get up. Look around, have a drink, return to bed after cooling off and enjoying the view from his lavish home. But you're comfortable.

And his smell... Oh, you inhale the pillow between you two faintly, it's addictive.

You don't want to get up. At all. Leaving this room sounds awful.

The tiniest bit of light creeps in through a gap in the massive curtains of your resting chambers, allowing some of the faint reddish glow of night to slink its way in, highlighting the form of your massive, recently proclaimed husband. Vesper sleeps soundlessly, a hand over his chest, the other, once holding you to his side, now dormant on the sheets, fingers periodically twitching. He sleeps bare, to absolutely no one's surprise. Legs faintly parted, offering a view you admire shamelessly in the dark. You've no doubt he has watched you like this before, so it's more than fair you get to ogle as well.

He's gorgeous. He's hot. So hot. You're married to the hottest thing that ever lived. Gods, he's such a whore.

Another flare of heat travels its way up from your loins. It would be exceptionally easy. All you'd have to do is palm at his exposed slit for a moment or two and he'd pop those treats out for you. All for you. He wouldn't even care, it's probably normal for Vesper-

With a shake of the head, you push said thoughts away as hard as possible. See? Not a moment of rest, all these gross ideas swimming around like they belong, like it's right. You're above something so rude!

But you're not above touching yourself in the same bed.

In your humble defense, you need this. You really need this, or you're going to scream and drag yourself on the ground like a bitch in heat. Panties are swiped aside with great haste, both hands quickly darting for the crux of your fire. It takes literally no effort for you to be able to slide two fingers into yourself, then three, trying to roll your clit in the best angle at the same time. It's clumsy, hurried, and unfortunately, fruitless. Instead of relieving you of this insurmountable heat, all it does is incense you further- Wishing it was more, better, bigger.

Wishing it was Vesper that's fucking your little body the way he pleases.

A whimper almost makes it past your clenched teeth.

Beside you, there's sudden movement. A large tail swatting back and forth -Wagging?- While Vesper's brows furrow and his breathing hastens rhythmically, like he's sniffing. When you halt, mortified, so does his stirring.

Idiot.

What a bright idea. As if the King of Lust wouldn't feel your desire right next to him.

Childish irritation settles in you as you sit on your own stewing arousal, sulking. Until a loud rumble jolts you, that is. After a pause of stunted blinking, you put two and two together.

While the demonlord may be fast asleep, a part of him is clearly active. Gaze falling to Vesper's abdomen, his sizeable second mouth can be seen parted, greedily flicking a fat tongue over sharp chops. It pants, a dopey sort of smile, muscle lolling as it very easily detects some poor horny sap nearby.

Or, maybe it recognizes you already. This certainly isn't your first meeting with Vesper's second mouth.

Amused, getting a couple of nasty ideas, you smile at the organ. " Hello there... " You whisper to it.

It doesn't react too much to the sound of your voice, although gleefully wets its lips and chuffs, waiting. You're sure it'll settle back down given enough time.

It's just a matter of ignoring it.

...

......

Fuck it.

Guilty eyes glance from Vesper's peacefully resting complexion to the shifting mouth beneath, and you gulp, self-control falling victim to rabid want. Again.

Slowly, silently, you wriggle out of your undergarments, keeping your breath in check as you move to straddle Vesper's abdomen. Given the size difference, and he seems to plump in a couple areas, you have a difficult time stretching your legs enough to encompass his waist.

Little does it matter, as you don't even get to sit before that muscle has already slapped itself onto your soaked cunt with a decidedly loud PLAP. Cosmic luck alone prevented you from moaning immediately. Vesper turns his face, then settles once more.

This might have been a bad idea.

The mouth is merciless on you, drool slathered on your tights, ass and belly as it gluttonously slurps at you, making lurid sounds you hope to whatever's out there won't wake the King. Terrible idea or not, it's well worth the trouble, because it's exactly the type of pressure you need to get off.

A sweet sigh makes it past your lips when shaky legs lower, having to brace your palms firmly on each side of the bed when the mouth starts smooching tenderly at your lips. How... Sweet. Cute.

Then, suddenly, it latches on. Literally. Its size allows the organ to wrap around your groin easily, applying an all-encompassing suction delicious enough to have you rolling your eyes and jerking your hips forward, nerve endings frying on a pan. God fuck yes, you didn't know it could do that!

An orgasm approaches fast, likely due to how long you've been waiting for it, building up tension. As sensation makes your lower body jerk and tense, shaky legs press you harder against that hungry maw, almost nicking yourself with bold teeth. It feels wonderful. Delightful.

Even asleep, only Vesper can make you feel this good. It's almost too funny a concept to be true.

Nothing halts the flow of keens and gasps you offer when it pauses its slurping to shove that roving muscle into your pussy, flirting with your entrance a little before feeding you more and more and more of itself, until you're groaning at the fullness. The first experimental undulation it makes is so strong that you legitimately moan out, loud and clear, dropping squarely onto Vesper and holding on for dear life as your jostled with each thrust.

You're sure you're drooling on his belly, though it hardly matters, eyelids fluttering, nonsensical pleas chanted in the dark.

" Oh fuck- Yes- Please please please, I need to come. Fffuck, I need to come... "

You're so close! It's right there, you can't wait to get licked and sucked as you ride it out, it'll be so-

" Mm, why didn't you say so? "

You don't even get to have a moment of shame when realization dawns. Large hands grab onto your hips and screw you onto the demonlord's tongue hard enough to make you see stars, the movement in your walls so frantic that you have no choice but to howl in bliss before a single excuse could flow past your parted lips.

And all you can do is flail and cry in overstimulation when Vesper continues sucking at all the arousal you can offer him.

" My Queen should want for nothing. "

His sickly magenta eyes leer at you from the darkness.

" You will come. "

It's a promise.

[floylia]

# MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE ⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾

02. I’m not a pervert! 💌

Lights out in an “empty” gym – luck chose to bless you today.

You’ve never been inside the indoor gyms – never found a reason to – but the school must have spent a fortune on the interior design. It’s impossible not to admire it.

The sun’s gaze peaks through the arched, glass roof, acting as the building’s only light source. Accented panels run along the walls in a well-ordained pattern. Pennant flags that alternate between the colors of the sky and the sand hang above the pool, occasionally fluttering back and forth in the air.

You can’t miss the pool, separated into chalk, thin lanes – and a stranger treading his way underneath, moving as if he belongs in the water – mastering its element and breaking the rules of gravity.

Every motion is weightless, following a rhythm with each stroke. No splash is wasted. His body propels forward until he reaches the finish line, victorious, despite the lack of competition.

Swimmers often describe the wave of water as freeing. You wonder if he felt the same.

“Can I help you?” The stranger asks, illustrating his paper-white teeth, not fazed by your prying eyes.

He emerges from the pool, breath labored, and chest – well-built, exemplifying his athlete status as water drips to the floor.

He steps closer and you draw the constellations of freckles falling along his cheeks–how they steal the sparkle of his eyes, threatening to lose anyone who looks deep within.

Focus.

You clear your throat, “By any chance, have you seen a brown vintage messenger bag? A friend left it.”

He squints his eyes and swerves his head from left to right before taking off his swimming cap. Wet ginger hair reveals itself as he brushes a hand through it, “I think I saw one near the stands.”

“Thank you. I’ll look for it.”

He nods before heading towards the locker rooms. A part of you is glad that the gym isn’t packed with training athletes. But the other half feels an unpleasant lump down your throat. The awkwardness of being caught gawking at his performance has you praying to leave immediately.

Fortunately, you spot Kaveh’s bag from the stands. Its weight indicates the laptop is inside.

Finally.

“HELP! WHAT THE FUCK!”

A high-pitched-horror-like scream followed by a string of curses echo inside the men’s locker room as the double doors blew wide open and the ginger sprints behind you — his eyes bulging out of his sockets, breath agape, and face from crimson to ash as if a ghost had tapped his shoulders and waved hello.

What the hell.

“Do you need help?” You offer.

“It’s alright, I’m fine,” He chuckles awkwardly. He opens his mouth to say something else, but no words form – only exaggerated hand gestures pointing at the empty locker room.

You don’t understand, but you pretend you do.

He looks insane.

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” You ask one more time.

“So… Look– there” he slowly cranes his neck inside the locker room, anticipating something or someone from walking out, “I saw– Ok look It’s not what it looks like. I mean, to be honest, I don’t even know what this looks like. But I swear, in the shower— I’m not even—“ He looks down to his exposed torso, “Wait—“

You look away, hoping to preserve him of some dignity, “I got what I came here for. You don’t owe me an explanation.” You wave your hand politely before scurrying away.

“I SWEAR I’M NOT A PERVERT!”

NOTES:

hi i wrote the first draft a long time ago, but when i re-read it, i hated it so i changed some things and hopefully this makes more sense idk

also thoughts on childe with freckles? i saw a fanart on twitter once and it stuck in my head

SYNOPSIS: There’s a line Childe knows he shouldn’t cross; A line built on years of friendship; A line that happens to cross you, his best friend’s younger sister, grieving her first love; A line where he plays savior, wears a halo, then feign ignorance, because love is a game for fools—and he happens to be the biggest idiot when it comes to love.

When a new stranger invades your life and an old poet writes back.

CHILDE x FEM!READER

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TAGLIST (OPEN!): @thegalaxyisunfolding @stratusworld @tiramizuloz @miy-svz @trulyylee @batatinhafriita @scaradooche @yuminako @m1njizzie @mtndewbajablasted @fadedpinkpen @vavrin @kioffy @kokoomie @ashveil @tired-jaz @nia333 @riabriyn @kyon-cherri

[dogtoling]

RE: Question about whether the Deepsea and the Octarian Domes are directly connected to each other. sorry i'm stealing your reply @bucketsquid but i see a chance to talk about this i have to take it. So idk let's try to decode how they might actually be connected.

This is the obvious conclusion. For the record I think it's the RIGHT conclusion after Side Order because they seemed to REALLY imply it this time. I thought for a really long time that the Deepsea and Octarian domes HAVE TO be connected because not only are they both subterranean but also literally how else do you get that many freaking Octolings in there? Since the metro is connected to the Inkopolis subway anyway wouldn't it be WAY EASIER TO JUST GET SQUIDS? (though to be honest i still stand by this.)

Anyway the obvious assumption is that the Deepsea and Octarian domes connect to each other. though it's not so straightforward. How they connect to each other exactly? we don't really know. Anyway let's get back into this in just a second i need to show what absolutely dashed my hopes and made me really mad when it happened

THIS MAP. THEY POSTED THIS MAP. Before this map I was having a great time because this is what the map was in my head:

"why was that the map in your head" idk. the giant stretches of water surrounding both canyons and inkopolis stretching into said body of water gave me the mental image that the canyons were in the ocean by inkopolis' coast. alongside some of the very old concept art that shows some of the domes even being underneath inkopolis if i'm not mistaken!

from the art of splatoon 1. this is an ancient and I MEAN ANCIENT manga depicting what is obviously an early concept of the story so it shouldn't ACTUALLY be taken as fact (almost nothing in this manga holds up anymore). But some of the things WERE kept! I have to assume this is also why you get into Octo Valley through the sewer in the games because the story mode was meant to take place literally straight underneath Inkopolis... it makes a lot less sense in the final result when you supposedly take the sewer like 50 kilometers (i dont know the actual distances but i think they're able to be deciphered) underground to a canyon in the middle of nowhere.

Why is there even continuous sewage all that way. What is happening. Is it even a sewer or a really long underground secret tunnel that Captain Cuttlefish dug because he's been really bored for 100 years.

kind of besides the point. back to the issue of the deepsea and the octarian empire being connected. You know, with the Deepsea Metro being located in Inkopolis Bay and the domes supposedly being all over the Inkopolis underground and the surrounding locations, it didn't seem that far fetched that they could siphon Octolings from the underground (where they live) to another very close-by fork of the underground (the Deepsea). However,

1. the Deepsea is NOT Octarian territory, but its own type of society. which is really weird considering how much Octarian iconography is down there, let alone how many OCTARIANS are down there

2. We have SO LITTLE knowledge about the true scope of the Deepsea that you can't even say for sure whether the Deepsea is *JUST* the Deepsea Metro and the facilities and industrial cities in that exact specific area, or if it's a big underwater and underground empire similar in scope to the Octarian domes, maybe even built in the exact same dome network - or a neighboring one. (This would mean they have a border somewhere undefined, underground.)

3. At face value with only the map, this is the distance for a Single Octarian to travel in order to get from where they live/are stationed, to get to the Deepsea Metro which is cluttered with one billion octarians

HELLO? THAT IS SO FAR. it's even worse than the distance Agents 3 and 4 are swimming through the god damn sewer. This also makes very little sense if we assume all the subterranean domes in all of these locations are exclusively under their surface counterparts... which... well, we don't know.

We know that the Deepsea Metro is connected to the Inkopolis Underground (it even shows this on the map with the little dotted line). I don't really know the significance of that but I've taken it to mean that the Deepsea Metro that is highlighted in the map shows specifically the area covered by the Kamabo Corporation and the tests there, and honestly again, I don't even know if the Deepsea is any bigger than that. Since it's been stated to be an independent society from Inkopolis or the Octarians, you would ASSUME there'd be ample space for people to like, live, and maybe work, and produce stuff you need to like, live. Instead of the test facility being literally the only place that exists plus a city built around only that to sustain everything.

Furthermore, we don't know if Octarians have cities on the surface in their part of the surface world! This is something that really bothers me because I think knowing whether or not this is the case would change SO MUCH (i'm currently under the assumption it is a barren wasteland with Literally Nothing). However given the location of the Salmonid Swim Zone, we can SEE cities in the background of multiple stages, and judging by this map those would be mainly on the Octarian coasts. This could mean that Octarians have surface cities where they coexist with the Salmon, it could mean that they USED TO have surface cities and abandoned them, OR it could mean that Salmonids actually live on Octarian surface turf while the Octarians themselves live underground! Idk! There's a lot of options!

I kind of doubt Octarians have cities on the surface because if they did, then it would feel redundant for the game to keep coming back to "the Octoling world" being this horrible military regime underground that people try to get to the surface from. If it was that easy to get to the surface it feels odd that it would be a big deal. We know that the Octarian domes, at least in Octo Valley, are specifically an underground *secret* military base.

(*Secret* being explicitly stated before and it would imply that they wouldn't necessarily NEED to live underground, but it's just way easier to do Secret Things underground. Plus the surface is a wasteland so honestly not a lot to lose there.)

We still haven't really seen what they have aside from that. We don't know where they get their food, for example. There's got to be farmers in a society. There HAS TO be some kind of surface access or activity, and if you squint, Octo Canyon IS a surface city that they seem to have free access to. So why not have others? It seems only logical to have more. In this case the oppression of the Octoling world and being forced to stay underground feels really case-specific, but it seems to also be an overarching thing that's quite widespread, so... I don't know, I WANT MORE OCTARIAN WORLDBUILDING *PLEASE* i'm working with crumbs here.

Anyway. my current assumption of the subterranean areas of the Deepsea and the Octarian empire goes something like this, all things considered that I've talked about...

(Not exactly that but you get the general picture)

When you put it this way, it suddenly makes a lot more sense that Octarians would be getting into the Deepsea. Generally I tried to keep the locations of Octarian tunnel systems to their turf, and the locations of Deepsea tunnels under the ocean floor, though with Octarian domes explicitly stated to have been dug by humans there's. really no reason they couldn't stretch into Inkling territory. We have no idea how big these tunnel systems are in scope, NO idea.

And that's also the problem with trying to solve this part of worldbuilding, because my concept could easily be right but it could also be COMPLETELY wrong! It's totally possible that the dome networks are actually secluded and tiny and are *just* under the Octarian craters and nowhere else, and it's totally possible that the entirety of the Deepsea is JUST Kamabo Co and the few settlements surrounding it. I'm not that confident that I'm right but I'm not really confident that we'll get answers to these questions either, at least as long as the story modes keep intentionally avoiding expanding on existing game locations and pretending theyre not in the splatoon world at all by making their key locations abstract and closed off bubbles on purpoCOUGH HACK who said that

There is 1 thing I've completely failed to mention in this post and it's that Octo Valley and the Deepsea Metro are like, explicitly connected. Which by the way makes NO SENSE given they're on opposite corners of the map. But between what we know from Side Order and from this Official Snippet from Splatoon Base, the Official Splatoon Story Resource By Nintendo,

Ignoring that none of this makes sense anymore or is intentionally misleading compared to what we know from Agent 8's memory loss now. Anyway. This seems to just imply the Deepsea is *under* Octo Valley. WHICH WOULD LINE UP WITH SIDE ORDER, weirdly enough. It is possible that the Deepsea domes could actually OVERLAP with Octarian Domes, it's just built FAR under sea level, not bound to the actual location of the sea itself.

I want to point out that this segment in the splatoon base and the game itself and dev interviews all tend to contradict each other in some ways when you look at them side by side, which is frustrating, but also serves as a reminder that sometimes the official resources don't know exactly what they're talking about either. so it's often not worthwhile looking them up and trying to conclude something based on it just to find out that it's literally contradicted in the game itself.

anyway, we know One Thing now and it's that there's at least no way that Octarian domes and the Deepsea AREN'T connected to each other in some way. this post doesn't exactly solve the issue of How but there was an attempt. I don't think this is ultimately something you can come to a concrete foolproof conclusion on until there is more information. But in the meantime I guess there's speculation.

[woooshworldtwo]

AT A LOSS

TAGS: WIFE!READER [Originally just mentioned once in dialogue but otherwise just spouse is used when describing said relationship between characters], Husband!Caracalla x Reader x Unrequited!Geta, Mentions of sex, Brief mentions of slavery [gladiators in the Colosseum], Brief mentions of animal cruelty [animals participating in the Colosseum], Historical inaccuracies, I'm not sure what else.

FIRST NOTE: I think I wanted to try accentuating the care he wants to give reader and therefore ends up treating those around him as what he sees them as- disposable and like shit. Geta is a TERRIBLE man so I guess I just wanted him to be pining for someone he knows is out of reach. I was gonna make it a series to like Caracalla x partner reader x unrequited Geta. if this is the first chapter, ngl idk where to trail off from there. i kind of write while im smoking just to fuck around so maybe i could write at least five-ish chapters if i think of a good enough plot. WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE THINK?? who knows i could even do the same with Caracalla, it could make sense cause he literally kills his brother in the movie

SECOND NOTE: pov ur me, high off like five tokes and u watch Gladiator 2 the day it comes out on Paramount+. BOOM, obsessed, love it, don't even care about the historical inaccuracies. For some reason, as someone as not all there like Caracalla is, having that deep relationship with his brother, once he notices that lil interest Geta has, or even just the doubts of others finally becoming to a point where my guy has to LOCK IN to keep his partner w him. not cause they don't love them, I think it would be cause he loves THEM too much. I'm talking bristling at the notion whenever he thinks of them together. JUST UNSPOKEN TENSION. do u guys enjoy that?

THIRD NOTE: unfortunately, i have more to talk about but no one to say it to so ur my audience. yelling into the mic i ask, do you guys think I should write porn of Caracalla and reader FUCKING?? idk if it would even include Geta- IT COULD, WHATEVER YOU GUYS WANT. I sort of just wanted to explore writing intimacy as an actual action instead described as thoughts. leave ur thoughts on what u guys think on that too bc im literally so curious.

PLEASE DON'T COPY MY WORK, I BET YOU

Summer in your lungs, and alcohol swimming in your stomach; Caracalla wonders if he's seen beauty such as yours. Never alone in the hours of the night, the lovers he takes soon notice how harder he is to satisfy, to sedate into a warm puddle wrapped in expensive sheets- instead becoming unflinching to the pleasures that usually melt his tortured mind.

Intense with his emotions, he swears this affection was there from first glance. Taken sight of you at in your hazy glory; the clothes accentuating the shade of your skin, the warmth of your eyes, it only takes months before you two wed.

From there, days are blissful. Misery always follows, but he finds with your company at his side, falling into the episodes of madness are rarer and rarer.

Perhaps it's the sweetness of your soul mending what his lacks, or having the closeness of your body distances the pestering thoughts appearing out of thin air. No matter what is it, with his claws dug into your being- he refuses to let go.

Dimmed by what other's consider insanity, it's difficult not to see Caracalla's growing lucidness. Coming face to face with it, Geta realizes any foes and enemies of Rome has never been as close as his brother has to the inner workings of his mind.

Divided by grace, the affection for you has been its limit. As the eldest, Caracalla bears the pitying glances from other's in the palace; to have the responsibilities laid on Geta is blasphemy, but who else can handle its weight when his mind is in two?

Who else to lessen its everlasting ache if not you? For that reason, such as many others, is why he cannot risk this becoming what he has grown familiar with- sharing with his brother.

Holding the same curiosity he did in the faint moments of childhood, his Adam's Apple bobs faintly- and when you look to follow its movements before returning your gaze to him: a faint shiver is felt and repressed in that same breath. "Caracalla?"

Asking in a murmur, he knows what you're referring to. Living with you these past handful of months, he can recall the number of times you've cut each conversation he's thought out into nothing more than small talk. In one worded questions, he cannot help but admire the relaxed sight of you.

So much so, he allows you to each time. Tossing the unspoken plans of connection for small talk, he nods. A hint of a smile is seen, and alone from that, you beam back at him.

Genuine like the sun, to continue seeing it, it makes it easy for him to keep spew out half thought words in hopes something he says would land. "He will arrive shortly, do not worry.", it ends with your name, echoing from his mouth, and although the God's have given him the same glory they themselves hold at their fingertips; nothing has sounded as holy.

Bounded by faith, the prayers he spills are ingrained in the folds of his brain, but once consumed in these times of power, he wonders if he should dare step closer to the soul he swears should beat for him.

"... Geta?", Unknowing for how much time has past, the beaming smile you once held is melted into a small frown. Quietly urging him to the present like he's seen you do with his brother, there's a warmth blooming in the hallow part of his chest.

Cherishing the brief concern, it only seems to remind him what Caracalla has naturally and what he takes the scraps of.

Still leaned back into the expensive marble, the wall itself is a pale enough color to forget about, instead focusing on the features he, too, fantasizes of in passing moments alone.

"Where did you go?", Too familiar with speaking to the other emperor, the question is thoughtless when spoken, yet its weight is felt nonetheless. "Nowhere. Just here.. Are you enjoying yourself?", Taking a pause, he eventually speaks again. It's done when walking to the the throne nearing Caracalla's; the one you sit in.

"Quite the spectacle.", Your eyes peer down at the sight below; bloodshed in the Colosseum's sand doesn't make your stomach twist like it once did, however when watching captured men swing weapons- and seeing another one fall, you look to him again.

Sitting at his own throne, you find his eyes already on you; a quirk upturning on his lips to show the pleased buzz your words give him. Gladiators from conquered lands, their purpose in Rome is to win their survival and amuse any passing visitors. Yet in the past year or so, since your arrival, he's found a deeper sense of pride at their display.

Growing passed the Senator's praise, passed continuing his parents past teachings, he has found serenity in the amazement you hold so clearly.

Seeing your wonder at the captured animals; their stature towering over the sand's flat ground, using its strength to trample over any competitors- he finds himself chasing the occasional bursts of attention he manages to keep with in your magenta sunlight.

Never promising loyalty to anyone; he chases it when you're unable to give it, the mess of concubines and courtesans who he cannot remember the names nor the faces of, only remembering their similarities to you- their purpose has been asked for more as of late, and neglected all the same soon after.

No matter if it was seeing a person with hair similar to yours, a familiar sounding voice, even just dressed in clothing resembling your own; they were sought out after in hopes of finding you in them.

He finds it only lasts briefly.

Of course sex is endless, at the call of his voice and at the stop of a groan; services are there to satisfy whatever craving he has. But after each round of breathlessness, he finds that hunger for what is missing growing into something insatiable.

Hours spent, feeling their bodies, picturing what your own must look like underneath the white moonlight casting into his bedchambers. Each thrust is heavy with yearning he cannot mend, moaning for warmth he cannot have; he damns Caracalla in those times for finding you first before he did.

Perhaps then would you be his spouse. To bed you the same way his brother does would be true nirvana, to hear those same whimpers he knows you're able to make, to feel you shiver and tighten around him the same way those people do; it's what he longs for.

He's certain then he'd be more than just rough, chasing whatever high is made in a blurry of orgasms- it becomes difficult to differentiate who is with him and who is imagined; not when his eyes are shut and your image is all he sees in its darkness. Tenderness is taught, and if his brother was able to learn to extend that same to you; there is no doubt he'd do the same.

"Are you enjoying it?", Turning your focus back onto Geta, his answer is a hum. The sound is husky from passing thoughts, and strain for what should be hidden; he takes a moment to gather his words.

"I always favor your company, the spectacle is merely entertainment.", Repeating what you said only minutes ago, the unexpressed emotions behind it is registered in your mind- and although brushed off originally, that denial you have becomes harder to not believe Geta's feelings becoming more noticeable in the time spent at his brother's side.

"The ambience of cheering Roman's, animals in pain, and dying men; no wonder we have such lively conversations in these times.", Another quality of yours he finds endearing is your dryness. The harshness soaked into your veins from being raised by your family has not changed you the way it has him he notices; viewing the cruelties of Rome in whatever light you could shed, he once again almost smiles, a quirk of his lips turning upwards showing.

"Complaining to the emperor for the privileges he's given you? What an ungrateful wife you are.", Breaking out into a smile, what is said is anything but malicious. Leaving Caracalla unmentioned; unsaid, his mind is soothed from its ache, mending itself when remembering it's just you and him- hidden away.

Alone in a place where he can pretend you two are more than in-laws, there's a warm stirring at the sound of your laughter. Filled with humor you express so freely, it reminds him of conversations with your father throughout the years; his stories of your youth.

Defiant in ways he wishes he'd seen, and mischievous in ways he knows you still are; the only changes is now you're not tangible. Yet, lost in affections like he never got to be as a boy, he doesn't mind who he's face to face with now. Not in the slightest.

"Forgive my insolence, emperor; I plead for it.", Clearly you speak to Caracalla too much because the shiver trailing up his spine goes directly into that heated feeling in his abdomen. Aware you're unknowing to the effect you have, it only worsens at the hint of playfulness heard.

"Oh, you're forgiven. The God's have extended their mercy onto you today, but be wry, they could change their mind.", Unwilling to give into the arousal brewing, the tension he's created in his body, he replies with a smile- one that lingers too long.

Mischief isn't needed to be noticed in the palace, not with the two emperor's having their souls intertwining themselves with your own- no longer being unheard by those around you, that streak remains. It brings an amusement greater than bloodshed to Geta, and even more so to Caracalla. Smoothness of your words he swears is coated with the sweetest of wines; it disarms what would be seen as scrutiny as nothing more than a jest.

With humor being forgotten in such trying times; outside of what the Colosseum offers, and outside of the different celebrations of another conquered land- Geta finds your spirit is lightening to what is constantly dampening in his.

Shouts of Roman's are heard, like you predicted, and another man falls. However, with neither of you truly paying attention to the sight; their deaths were not offered the same graciousness you're given so carelessly, so frivolously: and when one of the last remaining takes their bow to surrender- only then do you look away.

To see your eyes of amusement grow into something unreadable, his own smile dims into a frown.

Standing from the throne, his hands rest on the Bisellium's railing, he grips onto it tightly when seeing below. Blood stains the sand as always; the deceased laid out over it in the afternoon heat, and the two lone man kneel. Meters away from one another, your eyes flicker between them, and soon Geta speaks up again.

Mercy is yelled in the air, and when he asks you, his voice is quieter than intended, "Shall we show mercy?"

Sparking what was lost, you nod, and another smile is seen, "Mercy."

Prayers do not solve what is inevitable, he finds, not when the God's blood soars through his body. The threat of rebellion, and the stings of betrayal, that mask that hides it all becomes wavering whenever he's with you; wishing to you like he did as a child to the God's for power, to worship you in ways he only should deities- it almost feels blasphemous.

Even more so now, when you don't understand the importance behind what he says; the grace he offers, the laughs he lets slip out- it is only the beginning of what he could promise you.

FOURTH NOTE: Now that you've made it this far, I wanna like drift away from what I was writing on my old account. it was just small paragraphs, but writing on a laptop just HITS DIFFERNT- literal hours spent doing this shit. I don't rlly wanna take requests bc i feel like my time is just too hectic for that, BUT I WOULD LOVE to hear your guys thoughts!! Okay, small series on these characters- Quinn Mossbacher, Simon Kalivoda, Ethan Russell, DIMITRI KRAVIOFF, DANIEL MARKOWITZ, JASON HOCHBERG, and finally our beloved; Caracalla. bad part is I haven't most of the movies they're in, so i don't want it to be inaccurate.

FIFTH NOTE: currently i'm writing a Johnny Storm fic series inspired by the new Fantastic Four trailer (writing the third chapter of what could be a five or even eight part series if I get to understand that franchise better), an Eddie Muson fic mainly just to fuck around and post that old one I never got a chance to. also an Adrian Chase fic i found on my laptop, another one for Koby from the one piece live action (I was inspired when the show first came out), and joe goldberg

FINAL NOTE: I've wanted to get into watching Yellowjackets. LOVE THE SHOW. Another thing I wanted to ask bc when I write for women characters, i like to write them as WLW. SO would you guys like it if i also wrote for Iris (Companion), SISTER BARNES (Heretic), Jinx (Arcane), Lucy Maclean (Fallout), Rhiannon Lewis (Sweetpea)?? one day if i sell out and get a membership to Prime or those silly addons; I WILL.

[sturniolo-simp4life]

Can u do a Matt smut fic where reader and matt r out and matt gets a good idea to go to the car wash bc the car is dirty. And when y'all in the car wash u fuck (idk if that makes sense)

I love ur writing sm 😭😭💖

Car Wash- Matt Sturniolo 

Paring- y/n and Matt Sturniolo 

Warnings- Smut, semi-public (?), cursing, quickie, p in v, unprotected (don’t please, imagine you're on the pill or smth), female!recieving, slight nipple play, riding, slight fingering.  NOT PROOF READ.

Description- After a long day out, Matt decides to go to a car wash, hoping for something more. 

@lightningsturvn here you are my love!

After a week of recording and editing, Matt took y/n out for a stress reliever day. They went to the beach, walked along the shoreline, and even went swimming.  

Unfortunately for Matt, all he could think of was y/n in that tight little bikini, wanting to rip it off and fuck her brains out.  

Moving on from Matt, there were a lot of seagulls at the beach today.

Seagulls=poop. Poop=Car. Car=Matt’s Car.

“Well, it looks like my car is covered in bird shit.” Mat grumbled as the two of you stepped in, earning a giggle from you. “Babe, its fine. We can just stop at the car wash on the way home.” 

Now obviously, Matt was horny. The beach dress wasn’t doing a good job of covering up your body.

He could see your pecks straining against the thin bikini fabric, and that was enough to turn him on. He could already feel his cock throbbing against his shorts. 

Thats when the idea popped into his head. The car washes around your area were old, making the machines slower.

An average car wash was 5 minutes, but these ones were 10. A perfect opportunity for some relief. 

“Can you do the tropical wash? Please?” you asked Matt, batting your eyelashes. You knew he hated it, but you loved it.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “But you’re going to pay me back,” he said with a devious smirk, as his hand made its way to your thigh. 

You found yourself getting flustered by Matt’s words, your face visible red. Flustered enough to make your bikini bottoms wet.

Fuck. His hand was sensually rubbing your thighs as he paid for the wash. 

As soon as drove the car onto the platform, his finger grazed your clit, a small moan escaping your mouth. 

Somehow, both of you ended up in the backseat. 

Matt smashed his lips on yours and slipped his hands down to your waist.

He started leaving wet kisses around your neck a collarbone, removing your beach dress.

He then started kissing down your chest, until he ripped your bikini top off. 

“I’ve been waiting to do that all day.” His tongue made it to one of your pecks, while his hand made its way to the other. “Fuck matt.”

He moved his tongue in fast, circular motions on your hardened peck, while his finger played with the other. “Be a good girl, and let's make this quick, okay.”  

You moaned. “M-Matt.” He looked at you. “Hmm?” 

“I need you.” He smirked at you. “What do you need baby? You have to be more specific.”  

“Your fingers.” You gasped. “I need your fingers.”  

“Okay baby. Wasn’t so hard, was it?” He inserted a finger into your aching hole, then two.

“Oh my god,” you gasped. He slowly started pumping his fingers in and out of you. “F-Fuck Matt. faster.”  

You could feel your orgasm building on you. It must have shown on your face, because he then slipped his fingers out.

You whined. “I was just about to finish,” you pout. 

“Don’t worry. Your about to get something better.” He slipped off his cargo shorts and his boxers, revealing his straining erection.

It looked so hard it must have hurt.  

Even though you’d seen Matt’s dick before, it always surprised you how big he was.

The thought of him filling your aching cunt was enough to make you wet again.

He then sat against one of the doors, his legs on the seats. 

“I want you to ride me baby.” You had done it before, but it wasn’t one of your most experienced positions. “O-okay,” you gulped.  

You got on top of him and aligned yourself. Slowly and steadily, you lowered yourself on him, earning a grunt from him and a hiss from you.

“Fuck,” you mumbled under your breath. It took you a minute to adjust to his size, but when you started moving, the slight pain was replaced with pleasure.

“Oh fuck. Matt,” you moaned, as you bounced up and down. His hands were on your hips, guiding you.

“Oh my god Matt. Oh my god.” You moved slightly faster, making you moan with pleasure.  

You could feel your legs starting to give out, making your movements slow down slightly.

Of course, Matt noticed, because he grabbed your ass and starting thrusting into you.

That was enough to get your momentum up again. You grabbed his shoulders and lowered your head into the crook of his neck. “Fuck Matt, I'm gonna cum.”  

Your moans were turning into breathy whines. “M’gonna cum too. Fuck. Do it with me baby.”

You let out a moan as your orgasm came, Matt still slight thrusting, and finishing after you.

You could see the sweat on his forehead, making his hair stick to it.

“You did so good for me baby,” matt whispered in your ear, then going to kiss you. 

Thankfully, the car wash was slowly ending. “Shit. I forgot about the car wash.” You quickly changed into your clothes, a wave of tiredness slowly crashing upon you. 

Matt was already in the driver's seat, driving up to the air-drying system. “Matt,” you mumbled, your eyes fighting for wake.

“What is it baby?” He turned back to face you. “I’m gonna take a nap,” you said in a drowsy voice. “Can we cuddle when we get home?” 

He smiled at you softly. “Of course we can babe.” He reached his hand out to swipe some hair out of your face.

“Love you,” you mumbled. “Love you too,” was the last thing you heard before you drifted off to sleep. 

[sokoneedsagun]

Batfamily mer au

Bruce - Tiger shark

Tiger sharks are generally a solitary species, the coloring fits him (usually grey with darker grey stripes, although the stripes fade as they get older), they’re one of the largest species of shark and just like have you seen Bruce?

Kate - Stingray

Stingrays are actually the closest relatives to sharks, so since Kate is Bruce’s cousin I think it would make sense for her to be something similarly related to sharks while not being a shark herself. Some stingrays have specialized jaws that allow them to crush sculls, and I think that sounds cool for one thing and for another could be kind of fitting considering that Kate has killed. Some stingrays are also able to change color over the course of a few days to adapt to their habitats, so I kind of imagine Kate being a brownish red color or a dark grey, stingrays also tend to be non-aggressive to humans until they’re threatened

Dick - Redtoothed Triggerfish

So first of all the coloring was enough. But these fish also always seem to be grinning which exposes their red teeth, similar to how child Dick would fucking laugh during fights and stuff, something that should be cute but is a little objectively terrifying. They’re also more peaceful than other triggerfish but can become more violent/aggressive with age, they have a special swimming style because of the shape of their fins, many of them are solitary but some of them stay in groups

Barbara - Crystal Jelly

They’re a species of jellyfish create a green fluorescent protein and two different bioluminescent proteins which causes its green-blue coloring (I’m colorblind, that’s how I saw it described), they’re almost entirely transparent and colorless, these jellyfish were the reason a 2008 Nobel prize in chemistry was awarded, one of the main reasons I picked jellyfish for Barbra though is that jellyfish don’t swim in a traditional way. The only way a jellyfish can swim is by squeezing the top of their body (the bell) and ejecting water in the opposite direction to push themselves forward, and even with that they’re some of the most efficient swimmers in the entire ocean. And idk, I really like the fact that when dc actually let Barbra be disabled they gave her actual limitations but she still found ways to work with them and still be herself, so in an au like this where it would realistically be a bit harder for her then other batfamily members it kinda made sense to me

Jason - red-tailed black shark

So these actually aren’t sharks at all they’re closer related to carp, but they’re extremely small (Robin!jason?) around 6 inches (16 cm), they’re very territorial and harass other fish when they enter their territory, juveniles tend to be calmer then adults

Cass - Blacktip reef shark

Genuinely one of my favorite sharks. So usually blacktip reef sharks are fairly skittish and avoid humans, but when humans wade into the water near them they do bite, they can be found up to 75 meters deep but usually stay in shallow waters, they’re generally a smaller species of shark and fall prey to things like tiger sharks, but they’re still an apex predator.

Tim - sockeye salmon

They’re a type of mainly red but also green salmon, they can be anywhere from 2 feet long to 2 foot 9, most sockeye salmon start out in freshwater as children before going to the ocean, then once again returning to freshwater as adults (so maybe Tim meeting the rest of the batfamily while going to the ocean and just staying)

Stephanie - Purple Tang

Just the color was enough to pick this for Steph, but some other reasons: younger purple tang are described as “cryptic” and tend to hide a lot which reminds me of the very beginnings of spoiler, while they can be generally peaceful others can be aggressive and territorial, and they’re very active fish

Duke - Pacific sea nettle

It was so hard to find a bioluminescent yellow jellyfish./lh they have a golden bell (kind of like the head) and can grow to be up to a meter, their carnivorous and use their tentacles and toxins to find food, and produce bioluminescent glow that lights up their tenticals

Damian - Spiny Dogfish

So despite the name this is actually a type of shark (I thought it would make sense for Damian to be a shark since Bruce is), they have two spines and there’s actually a comic series that gave Damian a replacement spine (we don’t talk about why. I’m only using the information for my benefit.), the spines are used defensively and they can arch their backs to pierce whatever is holding them and also make a venom, they hunt in packs up to a thousand and are very aggressive hunters (league maybe?)

I’m not actually (probably) writing a fic or anything about this, but if you are, feel free to use some of these!

[hobiebrownismygod]

HAIII HELLOOO HOW ARE U DOING so i just had a random idea and i cant stop thinking about it. you can it ignore it i'm just asking

basically hobie x reader (can be fem or gender neautral idc) where reader is like a siren but isnt dangerous and likes swimming in the canal that hobie's boat is in and then like one night he spots reader in the water

idk if that makes sense words are not wording right now 😭 but yeah you can do whatever you like with the rest. thank yewwww 🙏🏾💞

wait omg I love this idea!! its so cute and I totally see why it's been stuck in your head lol I went kind of overboard with the lore for this one. I also made it femreader because that's easier for me to write and hopefully that's okay!! I hope you like how I wrote it <3

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Humming under his breath, Hobie stood at the edge of his deck, staring out into the distance, mind overrun with quiet thoughts. The night was basically silent, no people nor animals in sight, just Hobie and his canal boat, slowly drifting along the soft waves.

He was still fairly close to shore, and could see some faint lights of alive homes, but it was growing very late, and everyone was going to sleep for the night.

But Hobie couldn't sleep. He was tired, of course, anyone would be after the day he'd had...but he just couldn't sleep.

It was difficult for him to sleep these days. So many scenarios littering his mind, making him think, fear, dream. Not a day went by where he wasn't suddenly awoken by a terrible nightmare, the screeching of civilians flooding his brain, images of horrific villains filling his dreams.

So staring out at the water, enjoying the silence, it was much more calming for him. It was also a way for him to avoid the sleepiness crawling up his spine, latching its gentle claws around his shoulders and pulling him into the soft, warm enclosure of his bed.

But he refused to give in to the temptation, to the tiredness. What he'd experience when he was asleep was too much to bear.

Besides, he couldn't have any nightmares if he was awake.

Suddenly, Hobie's expression perked up, and he leaned his head forward. He'd heard something, but he wasn't sure what. He stopped humming, the area around him falling completely silent as he strained his ears to listen for whatever might have been there.

He heard a faint hum.

His spider-sense began to tingle.

The song was beautiful, nothing like he'd heard before. It was quiet, soft, reminding him of the way a hug would feel, warmth and love, wrapping around one's body and holding them close. It was musical, vibrant, but just enough to make him feel even sleepier than before.

It was also strangely enchanting.

After a beat, Hobie began to hum along. He knew the tune. He wasn't sure how, but he did know it. A simple five or six notes, easy to remember, easy to memorize, easy to single along with.

And then he realized he was humming alone. The other voice had disappeared.

He furrowed his brows, confused as to where it could've gone.

A ripple passed by, just barely changing the surface of the dark, murky water below. He stumbled back slightly, immediately on defense mode as he peered over the edge, gaze hardening over the sight of a few bubbles, slowly rising to the surface.

"Hello?" He called out softly.

For a moment, he thought nothing would happen. That he'd just been imagining it. Hallucinating even, the little sleep he'd had finally getting to him.

But he watched as a pair of eyes appeared, the outline of luscious hair and a head parting the waters, peering up at him.

He stared, mouth opening in awe.

You were beautiful.

Your face was just barely illuminated by the moonlight, glistening down on the droplets dripping down your smooth skin, just your face and neck having protruded out of the water.

You cocked your head to the side slightly, as if curious, inspecting him as he put his hands on the railing separating him from the open waters. "Hello."

His breath hitched in his throat. "Who...are you?" He asked after a moment, struggling to find his voice.

You smiled, enjoying his reaction. Before you could respond you were interrupted by a loud blare. Another boat was approaching, one that looked similar to a police boat almost.

Hobie looked up too, caught off-guard, and his expression immediately hardened. When he noticed you about to submerge yourself in the water again, he quickly reached a hand out.

"Wait!"

You looked back up at him nervously, eyes flitting between him and the slowly approaching vessel. The silence was thick enough to be sliced, his soft breaths and the ripples of the water both louder than the sound of the boat that was coming closer.

Your eyes stayed on each others, hundreds of thousands of words being exchanged in a single moment. It was like he could read your mind, and you could read his. An odd, yet welcomed, connection.

"What are you?" He asked softly. You smiled once again, eyes crinkling up slightly. When you opened your mouth to speak, Hobie was blown away.

What you spoke wasn't English, but it was like he could understand every word, your voice like a tune, another lovely song, sung by a perfect voice. He exhaled softly when you finished, nodding furiously.

"I-uh-" he stuttered, realizing the boat was only getting closer, the officers' voices growing louder and louder. "Do you speak English?" he asked quickly, praying under his breath that your answer would be-

"Yes."

He grinned, cocking his head to the side slightly as he stared down at you. "I-"

The horn of the police boat sounded again and you snapped your head to the side, pretty eyes widening before you looked back at Hobie. He opened his mouth, hoping to delay you just a moment longer, calling out, "Wait-!"

But you were already gone, having disappeared under the surface without a trace, lost to the pitch black, shallow waters of the canal. He stared back at the slight ripples still emanating from where you'd left before running over to motor and roughly turning it on.

He had to escape, as quickly as possible. If he got caught now, he'd be out of a home, and he'd grown quite used to this little boat he loved so much.

But those lovely eyes were still stuck in his head. He chuckled to himself as he turned the tiller, steering himself in the opposite direction of the officers chasing him. He hummed those same four notes to himself, your gorgeous melody turning into a tune he didn't think he'd ever quite forget.

He hoped...no he knew that wouldn't be the last time he saw you. Hobie Brown was never one to let an opportunity slip past him, and this little encounter seemed to be much more than that. The way you'd looked at him, spoke to him, smiled at him-

Could it be fate? Hobie didn't believe in fate.

But this just felt so real. So real that he couldn't help but hope that it was fate.

That he was meant to see you again.

Because he would, whether it was written in the stars or not.

He'd find the girl with a voice of gold.

No matter how long it took.

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A/N: Might write a part 2 if enough people ask because I feel like turning this into a series might be really fun but I also don't want to spend time writing it if no one's interested because I have other requests to get to too 😭 lmk if you want another part anon!! I'd be glad to write it <3

Taglist: @therealloopylupin2099 @rinverse @l0starl @daydreaming-en-pointe @itsparis-07 @vileviale @puff-hugs @d0uble-tr0ubl3 @lauryn2558 @choccymilkdrinker @sunasslut69 @ask-1610-miles @ask-1610miles @axels-garden @eli21345 @miniaturesuitfox @spotconlon55 @riris-radioactive-panther

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[yourclumsyguardianangel]

the seven + a few others future headcanons

percy:

becomes a high school teacher

teaches high school marine biology (idk how it is in other schools but when we hit sophomore year we got to choose different bio classes ie: marine bio, ag bio, med bio + regular bio)

also teaches the mythology elective and is the swim team coach

annabeth:

we already know this queen is an architect with obvious inspiration from greek architecture

learns how to make blue food for percy and their kids from sally

has traveled all over the world looking at different architecture

learns the basics of many languages so shes able to communicate with the locals

her and leo team up to build a small school near camp half-blood for year rounders so everyone can learn consistently but dw they get summers off

piper:

love her but shes a nepo baby

she doesnt act like it tho

”are you tristan mcleans daughter?” “who?”

loves her dad to bits but does not like being seen out in public by the paparazzi

marries shel, they dont have kids tho, neither of them want to bring any into the world especially with america’s downfall and the government erasing women and poc rights

is basically leos big sister atp

leo:

him and calypso dont last, maybe a year and a half in they split bc calypso wants to explore the world and leo is very emotionally unstable and calypso has a hard time understanding

they end on good terms but dont ever talk unless its with a group of friends

he goes into a trade to become a mechanic and owns his own shop

starts smoking cigarettes/vaping

his friends dont really approve but they understand he cant quit just yet as hes not in a mental space to do so

goes to therapy with a psychologist whos a demigod that specializes in grieving and war trauma

they all go to therapy but hes the last one to do it

he’s still the ‘happy go lucky’ guy hes always been but as he gets closer w the others they start to see the true sadness in him

piper and him grow a lot closer after jason died and have a big sister little brother relationship

hazel:

my girl stays at camp jupiter

takes nicos place at camp

horse trainer

her and frank also dont work out as a romantic relationship, they felt that the age gap was too much after frank turned 18 and hazel was 15 theyre still friends tho

hazel often visits leo in his shop

as much as leo reminds her of sammy, through therapy she has recognized that theyre separate people and to not push all her past feelings for sammy onto leo

not only does she train horses but she also teaches little kids basic math, science, and history to the younger kids

they all call her ms. hazel

she prefers to teach the really young kids (age 4-7)

wears her hair in different braid styles after BOO

frank:

my friggin HOMIE

i relate to frank a lot personality wise

therefore i think hed be a 4/20 fanatic after BOO

hes not stoned during training or during important camp duties

but otherwise you try talkin to him and you dont really notice until you look and see the far off look and red eyes and he just goes “huh?”

other than that hes a great leader

after he gets his cool new look from mars he takes really good care of his body including consistent exercise and eating really healthily (maybe he has a soft spot for fast food when hes hi)

him joining the military does not make sense to me

he lost his mom to war, and he was in one himself, idk about you but i would not wanna join the military after being the main character in a war

he studies to be a veterinarian for exotic animals

when no one is around he shifts into the animal to find out whats wrong

”dr. zhang prefers to work by himself” “why” “idk but hes always right, if it aint broke dont fix it”

jason:

rip home-slice

nico:

my other homie

my guy does not get taller than 5’8

stays at camp during the summer to train the new and old kids

him and will get a house together

teaches history at the camp school

cat dad (5 cats and counting)

will:

takes nicos last name when they marry bc its cooler

him being a doctor doesnt click w me i more picture him being an EMT

EMTs are hotter anyways

does med training with new apollo kids whenever he gets time

if he’s not busy during working hours he drops by nicos classroom w his fav drink from dutch bros (starbucks is MID) and hangs out with him and his students

[sewerzombie]

thinkin about being stuck in a pillory and having some nasty creature come up to humiliate and torment me just for its own amusement. or stuck in a pile of junk in the trash yard and the big garbage eating skunk monster who dwells there, just saunters right over n takes a seat

-🦨 (idk if this anon is taken)

that anon's free n7n 💖!

and aren't you in luck that im a big nasty garbage eating skunk monster :333? well- trash-eating, trash-wallowing, trash-fucking... i do a lot with garbage!! in any case, im sure me and your nose will get along great!! :33

while you're in the pillory, i happen to find you as the only person who hasn't bolted from my stench. as much as you really really want to the second i start to linger, and the smell hits you like a wall of bricks- of course, you're utterly helpless to even cover your nose the way your hands are locked into place at the sides of your head. lucky me, finding you out here when i did- ive been dying to have someone to chat with!! even if you're too busy fighting to keep your lunch down to say much of anything back, i carry the conversation well enough for both of us- although every breath from me seems to make your head swim with nausea from the sheer potency of decay and trash alone... being pumped into your face with every sentence. every now and then i get comfortable and lean back on my arms, and you're "treated" to pits that have only been graced by sewer water for years at full blast just inches from your face! :33

god so help you if my tummy starts disagreeing with me and i happen to rip one, especially with my ass near your head- utterly helpless to feeling the insidiously warm air rise around your head and blanket you in thick, unbreathable poison. your wrists are bruised from your futile struggles to protect your precious sense of smell, but it continues to be assaulted and battered, tears streaming down your face, gagging on each breath. maybe i get really bored and decide to wipe the sweat from my ass with your face, or maybe i spray you for not thanking me for singlehandedly raising your air quality :3 either way, the end result is the same: you're stuck stinking like me for a long, long time, possibly making it difficult for anyone else to get you out of that pillory. which means, of course, there's always more time for me to come back and visit~

---

while you're poking around the junkyard, you fail to notice your foot get stuck in a pile of garbage until you try to walk away- you panic and begin focusing your energy on freeing the limb, but somehow you end up further tangled in the trash anyways. and you're too worried about how you're gonna get unstuck by yourself to notice a steady decline in the air quality around you- not that it was ever great in the junkyard, but at least it never made you gag. when your senses are finally diverted from your crisis long enough to register what's happening, my bare ass is already eclipsing your vision- and you can just barely make out a black-furred tail at the base. without further ado, your body compresses fully into the garbage surrounding you with my weight on top, and your face becomes intimately acquainted with my backside.

the first thing that shocks you into awareness of your situation is your sense of smell- your nose curls and you gag dryly at the combined assault of swamp ass and the ambient trash surrounding you. you try vainly to get my attention, opening your mouth to speak- of course, i just so happen to readjust at the same time, and with a few questionably deliberate grinds you're now tonguing my asshole, fully submerged in my crack. it becomes immediately clear that ive been living here for a while without seeing a shower- the sweat and grime buildup you're being exposed to is no mere matter of months or days, but clearly years. you sputter helplessly, trying desperately to rid your mouth of the taste, immediately longing for the less concentrated version of the scent, or even just the trash instead. just as you're feeling nostalgic for the reek of garbage, the ring of muscle you're face to face with twitches, and lazily sputters out an opaque cloud of smog that fills your world with the distilled essence of a hot, festering, half-digested landfill. by this point your clothes and skin have been thoroughly soaked in trash juice, to say nothing of the sweat your head and face has been sopping up- i hardly need to spray to irrevocably stain you any further with a stench that'll send people running for miles, but i might anyway, if im feeling particularly cruel :3c. maybe you won't have to worry about who you're gonna come home to the way you smell, though- maybe i enjoy the feeling of pummeling you with toxic gas and drowning you in ass sweat so much that i decide to keep you, like any other neat trinket id happen to find among the garbage :3c! maybe you'll just have to get used to an existence revolving solely around service for a disgusting, rancid skunk monster for the rest of your life!! 💖💖💖

[dunkledog]

[fred voice from scooby doo] hey gang

do u guys like manmade horrors beyond your comprehension? do you also like lore dumps? i know i do.

in my tf2 fan universe Coarse Gravel the respawn machine is... a thing. so I made a concept of what the prototype might've looked like, developed sometime between 1930-1945.

The chamber is made of an iron lung which has been heavily modified and retrofitted with a bunch of stuff i dont have the intelligence or brain power to make up the exact purpose of.

I'm not particularly sure what exactly it does in order to bring someone back, yet. I have the ideas swimming around in my head but yet to fish one out and cook it, you know? I'll detail what I'm thinking below the cut to keep this post neat for those who'd rather just stare at the picture.

Descriptions may be a little graphic? idk i can't tell

Idea #1, the initial idea: Fetus.

The 'lung' fills with amniotic fluid harvested from the wombs of supersized pigs. It then grows the person how they were as a fetus. The body of this fetus is disassembled and aligned with an adult body plan. Meanwhile, the brain is grown separately. The fetal skull is broken and its brain reabsorbed. Then the new, adult brain is placed and the adult body is regrown around it, using the fetus as a sort of "base." My problem with this one is Why? Why bother making the fetus portion? How does that improve the process?

Idea #2: 3D printed

As I consider it harder, I think this idea makes more sense. You start with a map/model, and the machine just. 3d Prints the thing. Starting with the brain, cuz the memories and personality and junk take forever to recode, I guess.

Idea #3: both previous ideas are worked into the story.

Like, maybe they started out with the first thing, then found a better way of doing it.

Idea #4: I stop thinkin about it

now that? that's the most implausible of them all.

[petitprincess1]

Warning: Hazbin Hotel Spoilers and mentions of SA

I dont know if you've noticed but there's been new drama on Twitter regarding one of Angel Dust scenes that depict him being SAd by Val and people got so mad over it saying it was incredibly disrespectfull, harming and insensitive to real SA victims.

While I agree maybe not everyone will enjoy that scene I dont think they should be surprised when it was announced that Hazbin was much darker than Helluva Boss considering its +18 calification and setting (also it makes sense when you consider Pride is inhabited by the worst of the worst and people got sent there as punishment for their misdeeds but get no regulation/sentence for their crimes and can continue their sinful acts while Hellborns were born there hence why they have a more grey morality-like Blitzø,Loona, Moxxie or Millie-and lower Rings actually have laws to ensure people's safety). The warnings are there for a reason, buddy.

Also people are talking about how bad it is to represent SA as what it is; something uncomfortable for SA victims and are comparing it with stuff that did it for laughs like Moral Orel in S1. Yes, SA is uncomfortable and ugly to watch but I think its important to have the representation as male SA victims (or just SA victims in general) get laughed at and blamed for something that wasn't their fault. And trauma isn't something pretty and people sometimes have not extremly good coping mechanisms to deal with it. It's raw,ugly and discomforting to watch but SA victims can relate to that and actually aive seen oeople saying that they had similar expierences to Angel and honestly it feels good to be seen.

Plus honestly this whe debacle kinda reminds me of how people victim blamed Stolas for also being a SA victim as confirmed in the Circus and went out of their way to villify him by implying that he must have done something to piss Stella off for her to rape him and concevie Via which is essentially the same as asking a girl or woman what they were wearing and blaming them for getting SAd. And also shame them for trying to cope with it however they can, like joking about it or glorifying it in attempts to make them feel not so shitty for what happened to them; like how they're doing with Viv for joking about her past trauma currently.

Idk it just feels like people, especially non SA victims, dont want SA victims to have visibility and go out of their way to say harmfull stuff like SA victims shouldn't be sexy or shouldn't have sex again in their lives which is more harmfull than good as youre basically shaming them into being unhappy with their bodies just for an unpleasant and undesireable expierence they had no say in it instead of healing. I get that its uncomfortable but it doesn't mean we wont to see Angel get better and be treated with the respect he deserves in future episodes.

I kinda find it funny they bring up Moral Orel, considering they did show rape victims in a more serious light in S3, which is what got the show canceled by Adult Swim. But yeah. I dont see what's wrong with showing how horrifying and terrible SA is. If it's because of his behavior, yeah...that's how he copes. Like, hypersexuality is a thing that victims of SA can go through.

Then again, I guess Antis know better than SA victims. I mean.........just look at 'em. /sarcasm

[kaycode1999]

Hi! So, tbh I had a hard time choosing but I think I would go with Transformers Animated 2007, mainly bc THE AUTOBOTS ARE SO TINY 🤧

And overall it's a great twist to the story

(Although if you want to just pick whichever universe would suit me best)

Anyways, onto my personality:

I consider myself to be very outgoing and extroverted with a slight fear of confrontation (Be it known, if my guts tell me to run I'm out of there). Many people also say that my presence is extremely hard to ignore, that they relate me to the color yellow and I'm easy to spot on the crowd (probably bc I speak loudly and don't stop). I also like to see the nice in everyone and everything, and I am hopeful for stuff to change for the better.

On the downside, while I tend to be very happy overall, I have big moodswings where If I'm reminded of a big insecurity of mine (my weight, for example) I can get sad immediately. Also doesn't help that I'm a daydreamer and overthink a lot. Honesty would be a very important for there to be comunication in the relationship, although It's very easy to tell whenever I'm upset since I become cold and shut up.

In general, I do a lot of Physical contact (ofc, I ask first if the other person is comfortable with hugs and stuff) and like complimenting my partner.

Should also mention that I'm responsible but not organized, very carefree and silly

I like history (mostly Movements for the rights of the people, be it for the POC community, Lgbtq+, workers, etc), swimming, astrology and hearing people talk about their interests.

My dream aesthetic is a mix between cottagecore and Overly feminine clothes, I LOVE Pink and Orange, they are my favorite colors ♡

Although I tend to have problems with taking care of myself (I believe it's because of my adhd, but I'm getting better at it :D)

My pronouns are She/They, I'm a demigirl, demisexual and demiromantic, and have to get to meet people for me to fall in love.

My type would include people who like to tease (like compliment a lot just to watch the other person blush), people with many hobbies and have a sense of helping others. Bonus points if they ramble about their interests and we can have discussions about themes like History or personal morals.

Who I don't want: (Idk if they are included or not but just to be safe) none of the children please, also not anyone who is a hypocrite or coward bc not my type :/

I match you with

TFA Prowl

He is more on the introvert side though he converses with people easily. His personality works well with extroverted people as his calming presence brings a nice balance.

As I said he has a very calming personality so you don't really have to worry about confrontation with him

He adores your positive outlook and sweet nature. It’s one of the reasons he fell for you to begin with.

The good thing about him being calm means that he's able to handle any mood swings or sadness you might have. He's very good at helping you through it and making you feel better.

If you're feeling insecure he’ll always make sure you know how much he loves you and that he thinks you’re absolutely beautiful

Because he really does think you're gorgeous. He’s from Cybertron so he doesn't understand the issues you have with your body at first. But he's very intuitive so he quickly begins to understand that human society makes people feel bad for not having the exact body types they deem acceptable so he understands why you feel and react the way you do

Communication with him is very easy and he's also very in tune with you. Most of the time he's gonna know how you're feeling before you even say it

He’ll give you space if you need it, or if you just want him to be there with you he'll do that too. Whatever you need

He's not used to physical contact at first but he likes it if its with you

He helps keep you organized and you also help him loosen up and have fun

He is fascinated by human history so please talk with him about all of it because he is eager to learn and he is all about furthering the rights of marginalized people

He's been to space so he'd be happy to tell all about what he's seen and learned

He doesn't want to nag you to take care of yourself like he's your parent or something. So instead he will help you to find products or ways of doing things that will help you

We've seen how he is with Bumblebee so he is definitely someone who likes to tease, but with you it's more flirty. If you tease/flirt with him he's definitely a flustered mess, but he’ll turn around and do the same to you

[tesalicious2]

Sports I think Clones would compete in for the Olympics:

Clones grew up with competition, if you couldn’t take it you’d be miserable so everyone has a good sense of sportsmanship and they aren’t sore losers

Volleyball (indoor and beach)

Working together with quick reflexes and coordination speaks to them, in the seven players of indoors to the duo on the beach

Rugby (very popular for heavy gunner troopers)

Team sports plus using your whole body to hit people is a perfect match

Gymnastics

Idk the idea that some of them got into doing the fun flips and quickly progressed, favoring the bars, vault, and floor

Boxing

Judo

Wrestling

Do I need to explain these? They’re already love fighting, just specify the type

Archery (snipers especially)

Shooting

Very similar to their military work, friendly competition and lower stakes make for a fun time

Weightlifting

I could see some guys enjoying the challenge of heavier weights, pushing their bodies to the max

Surfing

Idk, feel like it wouldn’t be popular, but those that do it would have a blast

Equestrian (ARF troopers mostly)

ARF troopers were trained with live mounts, they loved that. Working with an animal all day and becoming a team.

They’d probably enjoy jumping the most but I can see dressage being popular as well

Ice Hockey

Fast pace, dangerous, relying on a team, fierce competition, yet still requires skill and precision

Swimming

Scuba troopers mostly, their training is Kamino, a pool is way easier and more relaxing. Keeps the fun competition with others and good atmosphere

Sport Climbing

Scaling cliff sides was already fun during training, some take it further and compete. Enjoying the view at the top with friendly competition is a blast

BMX Racing

Mountain Cycling

Shooting down a rough mountain with jumps, sharp turns, and mud galore is an adrenaline rush on its own. Add a time limit and you’ve got a wild ride!

[oogaboogasphincter]

After the Beep | Dieter Bravo x afab!reader

gif by @joelmjller

In your absence after last night’s rendezvous, Dieter has some fun with dirty voicemails.

word count/rating/warnings - 2800+ // swearing, recreational drug use (weed, reader and dieter both use), alcohol (only dieter) EXPLICIT 18+ ONLY: masturbation (m), anal play/fingering (m receiving), edging/orgasm denial (m), descriptions of oral (m and f receiving), unprotected p in v sex (use protection irl obvi), anal sex (f receiving), mentions of strap-ons and gaping (?:!/!:), idiots in love sorta

a/n - this is such a strange fic? idk if i like the style i went with (not my usual)?? there are so many things in here that are just not me lol but i wrote about it anyways??? i hope you enjoy! <3

A hungover Dieter jolts awake when a strong, cold breeze whips through the open patio doors, skimming across his uncovered ass and raising goosebumps in its wake. He grumbles, blearily reaching for his sunglasses and jamming them on his face crooked before reluctantly slumping out from the sheets. As he goes to shut the offending doors, he pauses a moment and remembers that he's forgotten where he is. The absence of car horns, construction ambience and groans from other waking bodies staggers him further into disorientation. He squints out at the pristine backyard that greets him - exotic foliage manicured to the nth degree, a crisp swimming pool gleaming fierce in the morning sun, and not another soul in sight.

Ah, yes, he's at his actor friend's "getaway" house while he's in town for... what was it? Not an interview (it'll be a while before the next one since he botched the last so bad), not a movie (at least hopefully not, any and all scripts have been completely obliterated from his mind for the time being), what was it...

He closes the glass doors and absentmindedly scratches his stubbly balls, still staring out at the calm, confined water even though his pupils are hurting. The softness of his t-shirt against his fidgeting forearm surprises his delayed senses, as he doesn't remember putting it on when he went to sleep...

And suddenly all his questions are answered.

You.

He's in town because he wanted to see you. Dieter's not one for committal, romantic feelings, but his honesty wins over his ego when he admits that he needed to see you. Although you began simply as his favorite bootycall of this specific city, he grew fonder of you than he ever has for anyone else he has a similar exchange with. No matter the carnal options, no matter the city or time, he found himself requesting you over and over again. Whenever he tried to quench his thirst with another body, another substance, another side job, he was left parched and belittled.

You make him feel free. Not only because you aren't in the public eye (although that does help ease his paranoia when he's on a downward spiral), but because of the way you give him the space to be himself. He doesn't have to put on a performance for you, nor is he prohibited from expressing his innermost desires. He never once felt in your presence that he had to think too much about or hide what he was doing. You'll be there to listen, always, like he is for you. You tried to explain to him once that it was the least you could do, but common courtesy and decency doesn't extend far or hold very much genuine meaning in his industry, so it confuses him. You intrigue him; the way your mind works, he wants to translate your brainwaves to puzzle pieces and figure out how to put you together over and over again.

On a less heartfelt note, in combination with all of this - he's had some of the best orgasms of his life when he's with you. Maybe the trust correlates with lowered inhibitions, but your talents alone speak for themselves.

He grins to himself, eyeing the only article of clothing he's wearing: his shirt that you had fallen asleep in last night.

Minutes after he called you and told you he was in town, you were rapping on this unknown front door and pouncing on your tipsy lover. Winding your arms tight around his broad shoulders to bring him down to your height, wasting no time licking into his mouth, and hiking your leg up over his hip, almost tumbling the two of you over, he picked you up and took you straight to the bedroom. Hours upon hours passed, and you finally gave your sweaty skin a break by slipping on his worn shirt, relishing in the cool yet thin barrier it posed between your heaving chests.

Unfortunately, to Dieter's whiney dismay, you couldn't call off work the next day. You stretched away from his slack body with a teasing groan while it was still dark in the morning, giving him a show of taking off his shirt and throwing it at his face in retaliation to his smack on your ass. You thought he had fallen asleep before you left, but he dismally watched you leave, his heart bursting as you tried to keep quiet for him, and pulled the shirt on inside-out for your lingering smell and warmth to lull him back to sleep.

Before his brain can recall the explicit details of your rapturous night together, his cock is standing at attention. He was half-hard when he woke up, but now the veins that run alongside his length are rigid and his tip is a warm red, bobbing in the air. You were so ravenous for Dieter last night, and his energy sluggish thanks to a couple of drinks, that you had taken the reins and snatched every moan, groan and whimper you wanted from him.

Both being switches - and the previous rendezvous you had being him pinning you against the bathroom sink at his favorite restaurant, yanking your hair and making you stare back at yourself in the mirror, crumpling in his arms as you took his relentless pounding - it was a nice change-up.

But Dieter hates repetition.

Now all hot and bothered by racy thoughts of you, he swings the patio doors back open and plops down on the bed, resting his aching back against the headboard (he came to reason it wasn't just his aging muscles, you really had ridden him to oblivion.)

He artfully runs both hands over his naked groin, fingertips skating up his shaft and encircling the head in a tight ring, pulsing his frenulum once, twice, then releasing with a pent-up groan. He bobs himself a couple times, chuckling at his own absurdity. With the house all to himself, nowhere to be, nothing worthwhile to do until you get off of work, he chucks his sunglasses onto the sheets beside him. Oh, he's going to have some fun this morning.

It might be technically closer to afternoon, it's hard to tell in this city that always suns, but he doesn't care. He does care to take advantage of the circulating breeze pouring from outside into the room, and before settling deeper into the bed to begin his session, he leans over to the nightstand and grabs a joint.

Thank you, earlier Dieter, he congratulates on the first inhale, glad that he busied his depressed self after you left this morning with rolling more than what was necessary. He pauses to spit into his dominant hand, slicking up his cock from base to tip, and starts moseying to his peak. With a loose fist gliding up and down his shaft, he smokes for a bit and waits for the high to fully infiltrate his systems. He prefers being sober or only slightly influenced when he's with you; he wants to experience you unabashed, and you entrance him so much you're in a classification all of your own. But he needs to quell his sadness over your absence or else he won't reap the fruits of his own taxing labor.

The last tendrils of smoke are swept out of the room on his final exhale and with his increased relaxation comes down the barrier to his creativity. He locates his phone (hidden under a pile of Kit Kat wrappers that you nagged him to throw away) and calls you, the weed muddying his memory that you're on-call elsewhere. The robotic audio of the default voicemail message makes him grunt, but when the recording begins, his imagination sparks.

"Hey baby," a salacious grin works its way across his face, "I was just jerking my schlong, thinking about you and your pretty eyes, your gorgeous tits, that evil little smile..."

Your mischievous giggles ring in his ears, his strokes picking up speed. His tongue darts out to catch the drop of spit that has worked its way onto his parted lips, a flash of embarrassment running through him even though you can't see him (and would take utter delight in the fact that you literally make him drool),

"A-and, uh," he splutters before snapping back to his controlled, teasing tone, "and how much you wrecked me last night. I'm forever grateful, honey bun, you know that - but it hurt when you left this morning."

He mock-pouts, "You broke poor old Dieter's heart. I-I think you're gonna have to make it up to me."

His tone takes an abrupt, dominating turn. He growls into the receiver, "And I think I know exactly what I want you to do."

An image floats up through the haze in his mind: the underside of your soft belly, breasts and that conniving smile he mentioned baring itself in the moonlight. From last night - you rid his face until you thoroughly soaked him, that patchy scruff that's dappled along his strong jaw drenched in your arousal. He smirks, thinking of how you have ten hidden bruises dotted across your ass from his fingertips digging into your flesh to grind you down harder against his rabid tongue. Your overstimulated shriek of his name echoes in his head as he devises his plan for you.

"First, I want to fuck that narrow throat of yours," his hand on his cock shifts to grip the top third, his thumb rubbing over his head. He groans into the phone, knowing it'll stoke your voice kink.

"It's only fair since you fucked my mouth so good, I get to fuck yours."

He smears leaking precum around his head, adding more pulsing pressure to his motions, "I'm going to shove my cock down your throat, fuck you until I make you gag."

He imagines the wet, firm but giving sensation he's simulating with his hand to be the back of your throat, pushing up against its velvety smoothness again and again until you tense around his length, only tightening your oral grasp, swallowing around him and sucking him back further.

"And you're going to be a good girl for me and take it. Every last inch I feed you."

The daydreams are so vivid - his thick fingers gripping your hair, his hairy mound tickling the tip of your nose as his hips rock back and forth, your chin dripping with just as much wetness as his was...

He lets go of his cock entirely, edging himself. He can't cum this early - the fun has only just begun.

Dieter glances at his phone nestled in the sheets, and thankfully so, because he's reached the voicemail time limit. The line disconnects, but he dials you back in a flash, eager to tell you more of his dirty story. He rolls his eyes through the default message, although he's grateful you're still busy and didn't pick up, because this would've been a little awkward to interrupt him mid-smut. He continues his naughty monologue.

"You're already so good to me, Bunnicula, you really are," his words are gravelly and elongated with lust as he stretches his dick, admiring its robustness (don't mention the ridiculous nickname he has for you, it stems from your feral desires to fuck each other like rabbits and your penchants for biting.)

"You drive me fucking bonkers when you lick my asshole," one hand stays wrapped around his girth while the other travels down to his scrotum, inching past the sack and reaching his taint as he adjusts his position to something more... accessible. He massages the patch of skin with trembling touches, mimicking how you tease him. Because you don't just dive right in, no, you get your man crying for more.

Just like your tongue's path, he circles around his hole, dropping his head back into the pillows with a moan. The veins in his neck protrude and surge with restraint, the palm on his cock revving from its idle and jerking quickly from base to tip.

"The way you wiggle your tongue in there- goddamnit, baby," he chokes out, pressing the tip of his index into his ass, working it in a slow but strenuous orbit to open himself up. His jerking eases considerably, edging himself again. Against his back's wishes he leans over and spits heaping onto the area of interest, his body too fixated on throes to stop his ministrations and find the bottle of lube. Besides, he's never been afraid to lean masochist.

"I'm gonna give you the same treatment, open you up, nice and slow... because you're gonna fit my whole cock in your asshole," a fresh rivulet of precum leaks and spirals down his painfully erect length with his wriggling finger swallowed up to the knuckle. He bites down on his plush lip, that broad ribcage reverberating with hums of ecstasy. He focuses on the stretch of his own opening and fantasizes about how much more you'll have to take.

"If I can take your strap, bunny, you can take me. It'll feel so good, I'm going to fuck your tight, little hole until you're begging me to never stop."

He lays on the mock charm thick, "But bad girls who abandon their lovers in the morning for work don't get what they want: I'm gonna pull out, and you're gonna gape for me."

Another end of voicemail, another staved-off orgasm. Dieter lets go of his cock like it's on fire and slides his finger out of his ass, grateful the line is dead and you don't hear his pitiful whine of loss opposite his despotic words.

He breaks for a moment of reprieve before he starts teasing himself again, his resolve floundering at meek levels. All of this teetering on the cliff has quashed his energy - he's stumbling in smoke for a climactic finale to his lewd tale. His power to dominate is dwindling, the relaxing chemicals floating in his bloodstream luring him to last night, to let you take over and him sit (more like lay down and gawk) to watch your magic unfold.

He calls you a third and final time, already stroking his twitching shaft at a determined pace.

"I can't do all the work though, baby - I want you to ride me to your heart's content, just like you did last night. Mount me," his eyes close, fighting the urge to roll back and succumb to to his orgasm. Just a few more words, Dieter, and you can finish.

"Ride it," he pictures your hands pressing down on his chest, slipping momentarily out of your greedy stronghold from laborious perspiration.

"Bounce on it," your breasts jumping with your motions, your pert nipples taunting his hungry teeth.

"Grind down on it," your dance slowing to a gyrate, your figure swaying dangerously close to his trigger.

"Drench my cock with your cum until it fills my lap," he replays your screams in his mind, layering them with the gush of your arousal if you have the wherewithal - or Dieter allows you - to sneak your quivering hand down to your aching clit. He can feel it where his sweat pools now; your juices will gather right between his hips to lap up later.

"While you're raining down on me, I'm gonna shoot my load, stuff your sweet cunt full of my-"

The three minute limit is met again as Dieter's heart jolts.

"C-cum!" he shouts, littering his abdomen with streaks of his sticky, hot release. He's mumbling your name over and over again, addicted to you. His arm is fatigued, but his nerves are astronomically alight, so his body goes on autopilot while his vision spots with black, fucking his fist until every last droplet of his pleasure is tapped.

When he begins atmospheric entry, he lies slumped against the headboard, sedated. His entire being just feels like a void of television static, blue screen, buffering, for a solid few minutes. A dribble of his spend running down the slope of his belly shocks him back to life, its path rippling tingles.

Before he can fool himself into thinking he loves you - remember, this is Dieter Bravo: International Tramp - he picks up his phone.

He sends the text and removes his soiled shirt, reaching over to the nightstand to get another joint.

As his highs swirl into one euphoric daze, he wishes you were here now, if he had to choose one moment from his entire fantasy. Dieter likes to cuddle with strangers, gets paid to do it for his job sometimes, so the absence of post-coital snuggling, especially when it would be with you, is always difficult.

You rarely have the opportunity to smoke because of your job, but he imagines sharing it with you, watching you melt further into bliss through the calming clouds. You get handsy, giggly hugs never failing to lead to more heated touches...

His phone lights up with a message from you:

Maybe he is in love with you, if maybe means most definitely. All that's left to do is wait for you to come home and for the two of you to deliver on both your promises.

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