#and idk if Amanda is still part of the pack

[sweetlemongrove]

Does anyone have a list of all the Shaw Pack members, including the minor ones?

[gemini-sensei]

Carmanda and LawRusso AU Part Two

Chubby!Reader ○ Reader is Carmanda's daughter ○ part one ○ LawRusso is more in the background on this one

I should honestly just write this as a whole ass fic, but idk if I can take on that responsibility because I can see it in my head so clearly, just the whole show different because of this au. But I shouldn't take on that responsibility right now.

○ Carmen and Amanda move their family to the Valley when Amanda gets a great job offer at LaRusso Auto Group. She simply can't pass it up. It's a great pay raise from what she was making before and will ensure both their kids get to go to whatever college they want to should things go as planned. Carmen is excited about the opportunity and the kids are too, so they pack up and move to a modest house in Encino.

○ It's not hard for Carmen to find work and she's more than happy at the hospital in town. It's not far from the high school the kids will be attending.

○ They spend the last few weeks of summer vacation settling in. The house is plenty big for everyone; Rosa's room is on the first floor and everyone else is upstairs. The kids have a lot more space in the rooms than they did in the one-story house they lived in before. Their rooms are side by side while Carmen and Amanda's room is on the other side of the house (😏).

○ Amanda's first day at LAG (lol I'm too lazy to spell it out every time, but it's so funny to me that the business's name acronym is LAG). Anyway, her first day is coincidentally the kids' first day of school. So everyone gets up nice and early, Rosa makes them breakfast and makes sure they have everything in their bags while Amanda is fussing over her hair and outfit. Carmen is telling her she looks beautiful and kisses her cheeks to calm her nerves, reminding her that she's a boss-ass bitch while not exactly saying it in those words.

○ Amanda gives her kids kisses and hugs goodbye, sad she can't take them to their first day at a new high school, in her daughter's case, though, her first day of high school ever!

"Miggy, look after your sister, okay?" "Of course, mama."

○ Carmen walks her to the door and gives her one more kiss goodbye and good luck, knowing she's got this. She just has to get there and she'll be fine.

○ Amanda had briefly met Daniel when he was out of town on business and having a meeting with her previous boss. She impressed him with her tact and wit, later contacting her with a job offer much better than what she was making before. So when she walks into the showroom to see his friendly face and welcoming smile, her nerves are gone. They shake hands and he shows her around, introducing her to the rest of the employees. Carmen was right, she's got this.

○ Meanwhile, Carmen is dropping the kids off at school. She waves them goodbye and watches them walk inside, asking herself where all the time has gone. It feels like it was just yesterday Miggy was holding his sister's hand as they walked into school. Now they're teenagers paving their own independent paths.

She tears up in the car but she's smiling, driving herself to work as she carefully wipes the tears away.

○ Miguel is still that helpful (protective) older brother and makes sure his sister knows where her locker is, helps her get it open, and walks her to her first class. After that, he gets lost in the big school and has to rush to make it to his first period.

○ In the first few hours, Miguel learns that this high school isn't unlike others. There are strict teachers and fun people to talk to, but there are also bullies. He gets pushed around by a group of guys when lunch hour comes around and gets made fun of for his braces. He's not very confrontational, at least when it comes to defending himself, so he just kind of waits it out hoping they'll get bored.

○ Then, all of a sudden, a guy walks over and gets in the bully's face.

"You should back off, Kyler, before I make you." And he listens because Kyler knows how close the LaRusso-Lawrence twins are and Robby will ruin his chances with Sam in a heartbeat. (Not that Kyler has good intentions.) When they're gone, Robby helps Miguel get onto his feet and steady. "You okay, man?" "Yeah," Miguel says lamely. He's still very appreciative, though. "Thanks." "No, problem."

○ Then, just like that, Robby's on his way to find his friends and hang out with them for the hour they're given for lunch, and Miguel is on his own again.

○ He wanders into the cafeteria and gets his lunch tray, then starts looking for a place to sit. He sees a couple of guys on their own and walks over in hopes of having a place to sit. One of them messes with him a little bit, but it's all in sarcastic fun and he soon comes to know them as Demetri and Eli.

○ Before much conversation can be had, Miguel spots his sister across the room and waves her over. She smiles and comes to sit at the table, being introduced to the two boys. However, Demetri and Eli are stunned silent as the pretty girl, in all her chubby glory, sits at their once lonesome table. They're so stunned, they can't speak for a moment.

○ Reader thinks they're cute and happily engages them in conversation once they find their voices again.

○ Conversation doesn't last long before Miguel is caught off guard by Sam LaRusso walking by. He's mesmerized by her and things play out as we've seen them. He's told she's apart of the popular, pretty, rich group of students and doesn't have a chance with her. He gets up to go talk to her and is shot down by smug, stupid Kyler. Reader ends up comforting him and he's a little annoyed by Demetri's sarcasm.

"So, how'd it go?" he asks, having obviously seen the whole order.

It makes Reader giggle at least.

○ When the Diaz kids get home, they're happy to tell their abulea about their day. They tell Rosa about their new friends and classes. It's still so exciting. Then they help her start prepping for dinner. When their moms get home, they go yell them about it over dinner.

○ Amanda shares that she had a great first day, too. It wasn't as exciting as the kids', but it was a great start to working at the company.

○ Things couldn't look better for the Diaz family.

Should I do another part of this? Would anyone wanna see that? Let me know 💖💖

[skimblyspones]

Yeah I'm just not sure how I feel about positioning Sarek as though he'd ever actively resent humanity, especially Spock's humanity. Like, idk, maybe if I got used to some of the newer stuff before his classic appearances, I would, but I can't get behind it.

He adores Amanda, and he seems to love his second wife as well. He spends the Search For Spock engaging in an unprecedented attempt to merge his son's revived body with his Katra; his scene with Kirk where they figure out the Katra shit is packed full of Mark Lenard acting and emoting his ass off to heartbreaking affect; he gets called out by T'Lar abt how illogical this is and he p much owns it. He spends his time in The One With The Whales trying to get the heat off the Enterprise Crew. He assures his son that Being His Son made his actions natural and necessary.

And that Gene Roddenberry interview...it's hilarious and awkward for the first half about sarek's sex life, yeah, but when they start talking abt Spock? How Spock is the first human-Vulcan hybrid to survive, and required intense medical care and attention throughout gestation? Oh my God. Obviously this is soft canon at best but just Oh My God. The intensity of the effort to bring Spock into the world. The audible Smile when Sarek remarks on Baby Spock's resilience; the way he explicitly attributes that resilience to his son being half-human...

Sarek loves humanity. He loves that his son is half human. The most glaring flaw regarding his son's humanity, as revealed in that same interview, was that he wound up deciding that it was more important to raise his son on Vulcan, where he was judged and excluded, so that they could embody IDIC to an extent that many Vulcans had grown accustomed to not acknowledging; he made his son an ideological figure, knowing how much Spock's treatment in Vulcan hurt him, but deciding that staying on Vulcan was more important than not traumatizing his son.

And who knows, part of that may be that since he was still half Vulcan with Vulcan strength, there was still a need to teach him emotional control; obviously a big part of it was about Culture, and Sarek wanting his child to know Vulcan Culture.

All of this characterization and backstory was written before Sybok entered the picture, and before Michael was even a concept, but Sybok does present a very good explanation for staying on Vulcan, and Michael...well, if she's in their family, and they've already decided to stay on Vulcan, then there you go. But I feel, again, like these would be secondary for Sarek; the reason they stayed on Vulcan, ad given from his mouth, was the principle of the thing; the value of embodying IDIC.

So it's like. Sarek absolutely fucked up. And whatever u choose to accept as Sybok's canon (idk abt SNW's Out-Of-Wedlock Sybok; I think mayhe Vulcan divorce, but idk fjdjfndkfjej), and whatever you think about Michael; I feel like it's p obvious that Sarek does better with Humans than Vulcans. Michael is the only kid who still talks to him regularly (Tho this could also be bc DISCO had spock institutionalized since in TOS he was at least communicating with his mom up to 5 years before JTB, and also like idk dnejfnfdjfb my incorporation of DISCO+SNW into personal fanon is limited and patchwork when it comes to Vulcan Stuff). And if I were to point to a glaring flaw in Sarek's parenting, it's that he, as an Ambassador, wanted his family to be a beacon of IDIC, and placed that appearance of their diverse family on Vulcan over the wellbeing of his children, particularly his Vulcan children who received mixed messaging that humanity and human emotions are natural and good, but also that they as Vulcans should not partake in those emotions, and indeed that it is a huge faux pas to do so. He valued the impact of their family living on Vulcan while being Atypical over how this would influence the treatment of his half-human son by his peers.

Again, I'm not sure how much of my opinions are influenced by the fact that I just don't really engage with nu!trek's sarek and don't necessarily consider all of nu!trek an infallible source of characterization and lore (I'm spoiled by the canon-less CATS, I guess, lol. I pick and choose what I consider Canon like it's a buffet line, specifically wrt TOS and Classic characters fjdjfbsjfj), but it just feels out of left field to make Sarek resentful of Humanity.

[incandescent-sideblog]

{more redacted asmr HCs for your consideration- high school shaw pack + listeners edition}

I literally started this in ap bio earlier and I’m supposed to be doing a lab report for class right now but I’m too excited about David’s video so have these. I’m realizing that a lot of these are oddly specific??? not even specific in a way where I’m projecting (except for baabe, oops), just super weirdly specific in general. 

in high school, david, asher, milo and amanda (I HC these four as the same age and therefore in the same grade in school) were that group of friends that everyone knows but knows nothing about

not in a super mysterious twilight/cullen family way, just in an “oh they all seem super close and like a fun group” kind of way, yk?

like, they had their own friends kind of separate from their little group but everyone knew that they were THAT group

sometimes they tried to get darlin’ to join them but it was hard cause they had a different lunch period than the group and they were in a different grade than them

and whenever they did manage to convince darlin’ to go out with them, it was painfully awkward because most of the conversations revolved around inside jokes or old memories and no one really realized how out of place they felt (except maybe asher, but he didn’t really know how to help it back then, not like he would now at least, and david. but he didn’t know how to touch the subject with them so he didn’t.)

moving on, I think that milo was really good at english and any of the sciences in high school and was part of some sort of literature/writing club. he’s really good at poetry

asher was seriously good in philosophy, art and gym (idk why I get those vibes from him). he was definitely an all around good student, he just had his favourites. I feel like he played a sport of some type but I’m not sure which one just yet. maybe volleyball? or track, I feel like he’s fast.

david never missed one of his games/meets, milo and amanda tried to go to as many as they could

david was good at math, calculus, and physics. he helped asher, milo and amanda with the concepts they didn’t really understand (and probably did it better than the teacher). 

wasn’t on a sports team but he DID get asked to join the robotics club because of his math and physics marks. he declined and opted for gardening club instead (this one is absolutely based on that one audio where he planted flowers and trees in the backyard)

darlin’ was really good with languages in high school and they really excelled in french

 they weren’t really into clubs but sometimes after school they would stop by the library on the second floor and help the librarian with sorting out books

now onto the mates :)

because I apparently love projecting onto them specifically, baabe thrived on academic validation their entire academic career, but by their final year of high school, they were so tired and burnt out that their grades started slipping and their whole perception of themselves changed. they totally had/still struggle with imposter syndrome in a few different areas of their life

on a lighter note, they loved languages (french, spanish, german, any other languages schools in the states offer that I didn’t name bc mine only offers french and italian- you choose! I just think they could pick up on whichever one they chose super easily. however as a canadian, I’m biased towards them being best at french)

they were in ap english and biology

played clarinet in band class and was really good at it (concert band, not marching)

definitely tried their hand at a lot of clubs but really only stuck with extracurriculars outside of school

angel!! they played a couple sports, mostly track and cross country- I feel like they can run really fast (them and asher totally have races now and it scares david and baabe when they randomly start sprinting)

they were really good in chemistry, they got recommended for the ap level class. they were also good in their law/justice class

didn’t really have a solid friend group in high school, they kind of just had a few good friends in different groups of their own. their best friend moved away the summer before high school, so their friday nights were spent video chatting and calling (but I imagine their friend moved back/nearby for university so they never lost touch or anything :))

sweetheart loved music class in high school. absolutely loved it. they played flute but they picked up some tips from their band teacher by listening to her instruct other sections, so now they can adequately play trumpet and saxophone as well (they are an extremely fast learner)

didn’t do sports, but they did gym all four years of high school (I had to look up whether or not gym was mandatory all four years in the U.S. and apparently in California it’s mandatory for two years??)

they had a small circle of friends who they’re still friends with now and have been friends with since kindergarten

went through the empowered school system all throughout their school years, so they definitely took the empowered equivalent of a law/justice class to prepare for department training

baabe and angel actually went to the same high school but since there were so many people in their grade and they had different classes, their paths never crossed. they only figure out they went to the same high school when they’re hanging out with david, asher, milo and sweetheart

angel is telling a story about some geography teacher and baabe gasps and asks for his name. they freak out over the fact they both had him in grade 9 even though angel was in his period 2 class and baabe was in his period 1

this got wayyy longer than expected but I hope you enjoyed!!

[the-hopeless-haze]

I hope he’ll be a beautiful fool that takes my spot next to you

Pairing: Sonny Carisi/reader, past!Rafael Barba/reader

Warnings: lots of angst (I bring up Undiscovered Country.... soooo...) smut (it’s NSFW people lol)

Word Count: like 5k words? Idk it’s a long one folks but I deliver

Summary: Based on “exile” by Taylor Swift for @thatesqcrush​ ‘s Valentine’s Day Bingo! Basically the reader used to date Barba until she didn’t and ended up with Sonny. Rafael is less than pleased. This is a cliche pairing (for good reason! It’s so fun to write!) but I like to think I added a fun twist... Sonny is an absolute mess, Rafael is very jealous, reader is a tad bit vindictive. This can be read in conjunction with “Being Alive” but it’s really a detour and a very loose association... there are just references because it’s so hard for me to write for these characters outside of that lens since I’ve been writing it for so long. That being said this can absolutely be read by itself and this only works if Rafael and the reader didn’t progress as characters in BA anyway lol

Murderous rage doesn’t even begin to describe what Rafael feels right now.

Behind the anger, there’s a sadness, cold and hard as stone, but he won’t touch that. It’s so much easier to be angry at Sonny than deal with anything that has to do with you. And that’s fair, isn’t it, anyway? Sonny swooped in the second things turned sour between you and Rafael and didn’t even give the two of you a chance to patch things up.

Or you went to Sonny of your own accord.

Maybe that’s more likely, but that hovers too close to the ache in his chest and he doesn’t allow himself to dwell there. Instead, he lets his ire build up until it consumes him, shooting daggers at the two of you across the bullpen office.

The two of you had always been touchy-feely - you were partners after all, very close, but you’d trained Rafael to swallow his jealousy. Told him you didn’t see Sonny like that. And for the most part, he learned to believe you. So now, he has to wonder how much of that was a lie, how much he didn’t see between the two of you, because there’s no way in hell you’d allow Sonny to touch you like this if it weren’t precedented.

Yes, at work, no less, you and Sonny are sitting at your adjoined desks, but you moved your chair to squeeze as close to him as possible. His arm is slung across your shoulder, a relaxed grip, because he knows there’s nothing Rafael can say or do that would make you leave him. Your head is resting on Sonny’s vested shoulder, and you’re laughing at something he said, no doubt a stupid joke that only you would find the humor in.

Death would be more welcome, Rafael thinks, then curses himself for being overdramatic. Still, when was the last time Rafael had been able to make you laugh?

Olivia had warned him of this new arrangement, but nothing could prepare him for this. Didn’t Rafael matter at all to you?

You lean up to kiss Sonny and Rafael thinks he might puke. —- Maybe Sonny should feel more guilty for kissing your mouth like you’ve been his this whole time, but he doesn’t. Because now he knows without a doubt in his mind this is where you belonged. He can feel the weight of Rafael’s gaze across the room, but he doesn’t mind carrying it, shielding you from it.

He did feel awful the day you came to him, your touch freezing and clammy from the inclement weather that you traveled through to get to his apartment, and then you practically pounced on him, told him you wanted him - and what was Sonny to do? Say no? No, after asking you a million times if you were sure, he gave into a temptation he’d be lying if he said he never thought about before. Of course, Sonny always imagined being between you and Rafael - he loved both of you in different ways, and the two of you seemed like a package deal at the time his original fantasies started to occur - but if you alone were going to come onto him, he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to oblige.

Don’t sleep with your partner was probably the first unwritten rule in becoming a detective, but it’s not like Sonny was going to stay at the precinct, anyway. He’d take Rafael’s place in the courtroom, too.

Still, when you first came onto him, he did feel a twinge of guilt, like he was hurting Rafael and you at the same time, in different ways, but then you explained it all to Sonny. How you always felt insecure around Rafael, that you weren’t sure if he really loved you, that you weren’t sure if you really loved him, that both of you had so much pressure to make this work that it started to fall apart under the weight of all your expectations.

You didn’t have to wait for Sonny to say he loved you, and you didn’t have to doubt it, either. He said it for the first time that same night, and he said it so fervently that you pulled his body back into yours, moaning your own declaration of love back to him. Maybe it was too soon, but he’d spent over a year pining for you (and Barba) in secret, and... well... he wasn’t going to waste what would be his only shot with one of you. He wanted you to know you would be well-cared for in his arms.

If looks could kill, Sonny would be dead on the spot and he knows this. But he also knows that jealousy is a cross Rafael has no right to bear. He had his shot, and he blew it. He should’ve let you know what you meant to him instead of clouding everything in his anxieties, his anger, his burdens from his past he never could let go of. Whatever he did now was too little too late, and even if Sonny had feelings for the lawyer, you always came first, and those said feelings would now never be stated out loud unless he got enough liquor in him and he was feeling sentimental that day.

Sonny used to root for you and Rafael, but he was always an embittered cheerleader, standing on the sidelines wishing someone could love him the way he thought you two loved each other. Appearances meant nothing, though. Now that you’ve let him in, he knows what you had with Rafael was far from the heaven you deserved.

And Sonny is all too keen to give you what you deserved.

As you lean up to kiss him again, he stops you for a moment, smiles down at you in adoration, and you giggle, “What?”

“Nothing,” he grins. “You’re just so beautiful, doll. I love you.”

Rafael’s gaze strengthens in intensity, and you almost turn to look in his direction before Sonny kisses you firmly, a smirk playing against your lips. This has to be killing Rafael, and Sonny isn’t usually that vindictive, but it gave him some sort of sick satisfaction that he was hurting Rafael just like Rafael had hurt you. And, you know, show Rafael what he was missing.

——

Sonny’s kiss is so warm, so comforting, but it doesn’t stop the ice running through your veins - you know Rafael is here despite Sonny’s best efforts to distract you from him. And you meet his eyes across the room for the first time since the night the two of you fought with each other for what would be the last time, the night you found yourself in Sonny’s arms instead. Those eyes add insult to injury, because you still know Rafael, and even if he’s standing across the room you know what he’s feeling. There’s anger there, but deep down you know he’s crushed at having seen you move on so quickly, and with someone he suspected you might leave him for in the first place. And he’s trying to drag you down to his level, get you to sit here in his misery with him.

This could break you if you don’t steel yourself, so you squeeze Sonny’s hand for support.

Sonny’s in tune with your body language, having been your partner for so long, and he stands to full attention, asking you if you’re alright.

“I’m okay,” you tell him, staring down Rafael until he makes his way over to your desk. You swallow thickly. Rafael when he was angry was never pleasant.

“This is cute, hmm?” he says bitterly, nodding sharply at the two of you.

“I like to think so,” you reply coolly, smiling at him.

“Barba, I know you’re waiting for Sarge, but can you please go wait somewhere else? She’ll be out any minute and you’re bothering (y/n),” Sonny asks, forever trying to be the peacemaker.

“She can handle herself,” Rafael says, chuckling sardonically, rolling up his sleeves nonchalantly. “Clearly. She doesn’t need you to fight her battles. But if you’d like to...”

“Mm, please, Rafael, like you’d get your knuckles bloody for me?” you snap. “Grow up. Everybody moved on. It’s time you do too.”

Rafael’s visibly taken aback by your verbal assault but he only lets it faze him momentarily. “Right. Moved on. Only took you five whole minutes to pack us up and leave me with it and you’re out here spreading your legs for someone else,” Rafael hisses, and you can see the moment when he realizes he went too far, the moment the wrath in his green eyes fades into regret.

“Get out,” Sonny says firmly, raising his voice enough to turn Amanda’s and Nick’s heads. “Get the fuck out. I don’t care how hurt you are, get out. You don’t talk to women like that. I’m honestly... I’m disgusted.”

“I... I am sorry—“ Rafael fumbles.

“A bit too late for that. I’m not your problem anymore, Rafael, so who am I offending now?” You ask. You weren’t upset by his statement - you did move fast with Sonny, faster than even you were immediately comfortable with, and you know how it must look to Rafael, how it must feed the flame of his absolute deepest and darkest insecurities.

Rafael glances around the room and realizes he’s caused a scene. Without a word, he leaves out the side door, forgetting his meeting with Olivia. He’s seen this film before, and the ending? It’s not worth sticking around for.

—-

Sonny could spend hours with his face between your legs, and he did. It was almost like the man never stopped talking because he wasn’t nose-deep in pussy - but you kind of chuckled at that thought because he wasn’t quiet even then. He’s always moaning, making obscene sucking sounds on your clit, talking to you, sending delicious vibrations straight to your core.

You come again, moaning and tugging at his hair, and Sonny adds to his total, grinning up at you, his face sinfully wet with your juices running down his chin. “That’s two down. Think you can give me one more before I fuck you?”

“Sonny, fuck,” you whine breathlessly as he runs his tongue over your now swollen and overstimulated clit. “I need a break.”

You love it. You’ve never had anyone this enthusiastic about pleasing you like this before, and you’ve never exactly been a pillow princess either, but Sonny protested if you even moved a muscle when he was going down on you, instead he’d chuckle and tell you to save your energy for when you ride him later. Not that he needed to be in you at all - you swear he could get off just eating you out. You never would’ve pegged giving oral as Sonny’s biggest kink, but you certainly weren’t complaining.

Sonny laughs heartily, crawling up the length of your body to kiss you deeply, the taste of you branded onto his lips and tongue. You moan as he rolls his hips against yours, the cloth from his boxers creating a tantalizing friction and you buck up against him on instinct.

“Ah-ah,” he tsks, moving off you to lay beside you. “I thought you needed a break, doll.”

You sigh, nodding, trying to catch your breath, but how could you, when he was still on the side of you, whispering dirty things in your ear? God, he really did never shut up.

“He ever fuck you like this?” Sonny asks, a devilish glint in his eye. For a second you think he’d take it back, apologize for asking such an intrusive question, but he doesn’t, and you know it’s because he’s just gone down on you for half an hour already and he’s got enough testosterone running through his veins he could kill anyone who glanced at you. Of course he was in competition with Barba, especially when he was this riled up.

“No,” you murmur, and you’re not lying. Sex with Barba was great, obviously, he’s very attractive and he knows what he’s doing. Rafael was a damn tease, but Sonny? Sonny was so much of a sap he couldn’t bear to hold anything back, couldn’t bear to see your lip tremble in want for even a second. And no one had time to fuck the way Sonny wanted to, drawing everything out and making you come so many times with his lips and tongue before he’d finally enter you. It’d always take a few hours, so this was usually saved for Monday mornings when the two of you didn’t go in until 3, or Friday nights when both of you were too wired to sleep anyway. Sure, there were days you were pressed for time and he needed to have you so more often than not he’d settle for making you come quickly on his face before pounding into you, but...

Rafael was a good, thorough lover, and god, you’d probably miss his hands for a long time to come, but Sonny’s tongue was such a good replacement.

“You just saying that, doll?” Sonny asks gruffly.

“No, honey, of course not,” you giggle. “No one’s as generous as you.”

“Generous? Huh. That’s a good one,” he laughs, and it seems like that comment brought out the underlying sap in him. His clear blue eyes soften and he smiles at you. “Nah, doll, I just love you so much, and making you feel good? What better way to show it, you know?”

This was a complete mess, you realized that, but you were blissfully happy in spite of it. How could you not be? It’d been an amazing three months. On nights the two of you didn’t work, you were treated to home-cooked dinners, bottles of wine, heated makeout sessions that always led to something more. If you worked, you’d take long showers together, massaging the knots out of each other’s muscles until you were both too dreary-eyed to stand.

Sonny was clingy, sure. You knew he would be, of course, and you weren’t used to that - sometimes you questioned if Rafael even wanted you in the same room - and it’s with a sudden realization that you come to terms with the fact that none of your relationships worked out because you needed that constant reassurance that Rafael and so many of your exes were reluctant to give.

It’s so easy to paint Rafael as a villain now that it was all over, but he wasn’t. You truly, truly loved him, even if he never took the time to learn your love language or make you dinner or marathon-fuck you. He showed his affection for you in other ways, but they weren’t as overt and it always left you questioning what he really wanted from you.

And anyway, it wasn’t enough to counteract the wrongs he’d done to you. Always making snide comments about how close you were to Sonny, to Amanda, to Nick, even... and it was in those moments you wish he didn’t love you so much, that he’d let you breathe instead of keeping such a constricting hold on you. You knew what he was scared of, he’d been cheated on before... but you hadn’t done anything.

He tried so hard to snare you down without taking into consideration that you already were his. Or, at least you had been.

When he got down on one knee you knew it was over. For him to be that insensitive, after you’d just gone through an accident and were barely coming back to life through damn near mandatory therapy and rehab... you couldn’t take it anymore. Didn’t he see the signs? You gave him so many, but he just never learned to read your mind after all that time.

And you didn’t want to be his, at least not in that regard. He wasn’t asking you for the right reasons. He was making up for lost time.

You never told Sonny that Rafael asked you to marry him, because that would wreck him and make you seem vindictive, but you have a feeling that Sonny knew anyway. Maybe Rafael mentioned it in passing. It doesn’t matter. You’d never be his wife now.

You didn’t intend this to be a long term thing with Sonny, but now you were used to him being in every facet of your life, and you supposed you did love him underneath everything. It was always Sonny who was there on those cold nights equipped with hot chocolate and cannolis, always him making you laugh when you were miserable about a spat you’d gotten in with Rafael, always him damn near reading your mind to give you what you needed.

Maybe it wouldn’t last. Maybe the two of you would go down in flames, too. Maybe he’s only being this amazing because he’s wanted you this long and he wants to show you what you’ve missed the time you wasted with Rafael, and it’ll fade once you’ve stuck around.

But you don’t think so, because you know he’s always loved you like this. The only things that have changed since you let him in is that he fucks you now and he’s practically moved into your apartment. He’s never quite kept his crush for you under wraps. On the off chance this is just a honeymoon phase... you’d still take it. It was bliss for now, and that’s what mattered.

“You ready for round three, doll?” Sonny asks. “Or you wanna sit there and daydream about Barba?”

“W-what?” you stutter, looking at him dumbfounded. “I wasn’t—“

“Don’t play dumb. I know you, (y/n).”

“Are you mad?” You ask, making your voice small.

“No. It’s only natural, right? I probably shouldn’t have brought him up in the first place,” he says, shrugging. “Still...”

“Don’t, Sonny,” you protest. “You’re not his understudy. I love you—“

“I know. That’s not why I’m saying that,” he says, kissing you gently. ——

Sonny would never tell you why he was saying that; why he brought up Barba in the first place. This was a fucked up mess, Sonny knows that, but he can’t help imagining you fucking him like Rafael used to fuck you. You and Rafael both have such dominant personalities, and it makes sense why you’d always be at each other’s throats in hindsight.

One of you had to be more dominant, though, and Sonny gets the sense that more often than not Rafael won your battles. But Sonny won’t even put up a fight against you, and for a woman who was so used to losing... maybe Sonny was doing you more of a favor than he realized. You’re an absolute tease, brutal, really... Sonny doesn’t know where you get the sadism because you’re so kind-hearted outside of the bedroom... but he’s never quite had orgasms like the ones you draw out of him either, so he’s not exactly complaining.

Okay, maybe he whines a little when you don’t let him come.

Or a lot. Whatever.

It’s so worth it, for both of you, even if Sonny can barely take the heat sometimes.

Sonny imagines Rafael doing that to you, too, getting you riled up and soaking wet just to say you can’t come until he said. Or teasing you while you were working (he’d seen that happen a couple of times) just to leave the precinct and leave you rubbing your thighs together in a vain attempt to relieve the ache between them.

Sonny could just never do that to you, lord knows. For one, he can’t stand to see you ache for him while he’s right there, while he can just give you what you need from him. For him he takes pride in the number of orgasms he can draw from you, not how explosive or mind-numbing they can be (although he likes to think he gives both in quantity and quality). Sex is all about giving to Sonny. It always has been. Besides, seeing you fall apart on his tongue? It drives him insane. Maybe most men don’t get as enthusiastic about going down on their girlfriends, but Sonny truly doesn’t think he could ever live without it.

Still... didn’t you take a little bit of your partner with you, even if it was over? In a way, Sonny realizes, he does have both you and Rafael now. Just like he always wanted. Because when you maneuver him where you want him, get bossy in bed, that’s Barba talking. When you drag his bottom lip between your teeth, fiery lust in your eyes, he can just imagine Rafael doing the same to you, you looking up at him with hooded eyes.

His favorite’s got to be when you speak to him in Spanish, whisper “te amo” to him under your breath, because that’s purely Rafael’s influence and nothing else.

Still, you’re mostly you- and that’s fine. Sonny always loved you more, anyway, he’s always been closer to you, always been head over heels for you the second he stepped foot in the precinct and Liv told him you were his new partner.

Sonny didn’t see a point in hiding your relationship from the squad. You were wary at first - everyone knew you just broke up with Barba, and making this public so soon would be a source of gossip. But he convinced you... through questionable means (make a girl come enough times and she’ll do anything you ask). At the end of the day, he doesn’t think anyone truly cared, even if Amanda made a comment; “Guess she’s a hot commodity around here. When’s my turn to date her?”

“I’m never letting her go now that I’ve got her,” Sonny had replied with a grin. “You missed your shot.”

“I was kidding,” she chuckled. “Good for you, though. You’ve been in love with her for a long time, puppy dog eyes and everything.”

Sonny just beamed back at her, but he wonders how obvious he truly was in his affection for you before the two of you started going out. Was it enough to make Barba jealous? Possibly. Maybe that’s why Barba was being so absolutely vile and hostile toward Sonny now, refusing to let him sit in on his closing argument rehearsals and making sure to send more snide remarks his way whenever possible. Sure, Sonny expected that, but if only Rafael knew Sonny loved him too.... Maybe the wound wouldn’t sting as badly as it did. There wasn’t a chance in hell Sonny would say anything now, especially with the way he talked to you the other day (you’d think a lawyer who handles mostly sex crimes would refrain from slut-shaming his ex-girlfriend, but, apparently his anger truly did get the best of him). Still, he’d always love Rafael just like you always would.

Sonny knew there was always a chance that he was just a rebound, that you’d leave him to go back to Rafael, but time goes on and you stay with him and Rafael stays bitter, barely looking at the two of you. Years pass and Sonny tries to extend an olive branch every couple of months, but Rafael would rather eat poison, it seems.

Fair enough. You couldn't say Sonny never tried. ----

Rafael spent a few years feeling like an exile every time he stepped foot into the precinct - and it wasn’t fair in the least. He was A.D.A. before you even got your badge. If anything, you should be feeling like the odd one out now that the two of you were over. This was his city.

But you’re not his homeland anymore. You haven’t been, not for a long time.

It was a new kind of torture every day, watching you and Sonny get closer, closer, closer… Rafael kept searching for reasons to leave New York City that wouldn’t have to do with you.

And then he found one.

Rafael’s standing outside the courthouse, where he just got acquitted for infanticide. It’s bitterly cold, he’s wearing his tan coat that you’d rarely see him out of this time of year. And you come up to talk to him.

It was rare that you did that, anyway, you did your best job to ignore him unless you absolutely needed to speak with him. But now he gets the feeling it’s time for confessions, words you always wanted to say to him all these years now that he was leaving out the side door of your life for good.

It’s a strange kind of sickness, watching you move on more and more, seeing your stomach swollen with Sonny’s child, your finger gleaming with Sonny’s ring, your last name changing to Carisi.

“You’re really leaving?” you ask, pulling your coat across your belly - it wouldn’t stay closed with the buttons anymore. You shiver, sip at your coffee.

“I can’t exactly stay now, can I?” he asks brusquely. “You really shouldn’t be drinking coffee while you’re pregnant.”

You snicker. “It’s not your baby, is it, Barba? Good thing, too. Wouldn’t want her to come out wrong. You might kill her.”

“Oh, fuck off. I don’t need this to be rehashed,” he snaps harshly, bitter tears leaving his eyes. “Did you have anything else to say?”

“It’s decaf coffee, anyway,” you mutter. “I really thought you’d have left a long time ago.”

“Why, because of you?” he asks, laughing bitterly. “Are you really that arrogant?”

“You still look at me like you want to kill me half the time.”

“Just… I still don’t understand what went wrong.”

“If you don’t know by now… I really don’t know what to tell you, Rafael. I gave so many signs. And Sonny… he treats me well. He gives me things you were never ready for, and I… The way things happened… they truly were for the best.”

“For who?” Rafael asks, fighting against his body’s overwhelming desire to break down and sob. Hadn’t he learned by now, though, that there was no amount of crying he could do for you? Still, when you left him, everything went to hell. He tried to pour himself into his work, and this… watching you get and stay happy was salt in the wound.

“I think leaving will be good for you,” you say, ignoring him. “You can move on. Meet someone new. Get a new job. New start. You know?”

“I think I’m too old for new starts,” he scoffs, shaking his head.

“Won’t know unless you try, hm?” you ask, nudging him in the side. “You’ll make it. You always have.”

“Not with you,” he murmurs.

“No. But you didn’t need me. You don’t need anyone.”

“Is that what you tell yourself, to make yourself feel better for what you did to me?” Rafael asks, his voice breaking a little. He was always so desperate not to show vulnerability, especially not around you… but what did it matter now?

“Rafael… we always walked a very thin line. You have to know that we weren’t going to stay together even if we tried to. And why should I have to be miserable just because you are?”

He stays silent because you have a point and he’ll be damned if he lets you know that.

“Sonny loves you, you know,” you say abruptly, and Rafael quirks up an eyebrow. You laugh. “Yeah. He’s very testy about it, but I’ve been with him long enough. I know he does. You should’ve jumped on him before I had the chance. He would’ve taken you. He would’ve taken both of us, but… you and I couldn’t share.”

“You can have him,” Rafael says, rolling his eyes. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“It’s just… you didn’t have to spend all these years hating us, feeling like a foreigner in your own city. We would’ve taken you back. You just didn’t want us.”

“I didn’t want the Carisi package deal. I wanted you. I dated you, not him. I loved you, not him.”

“First of all… I meant as friends. But also… Like you’ve never thought about it,” you tease, grinning at him.

Rafael rolls his eyes. “See, this is why we had problems. That’s not funny. Wandering eyes… that’s a problem.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” you say, shrugging. “Sonny’s surprisingly liberal. But that’s great that you were finally able to admit that your jealousy made me feel like I couldn’t breathe.”

“I’d argue my jealousy was warranted. I find it hard to believe that you didn’t fuck Sonny before you broke up with me,” Rafael scoffs.

“I didn’t!” you protest. “I’m not having this argument with you, because at this point, it doesn’t matter if I did or not, but I was nothing but faithful to you, Rafael.”

“Then how could you just move so fast?"

“It’s not like I just picked him up off the street. We’d been friends before.”

“Right. Friends.”

“Yeah. Friends,” you repeat sarcastically. “You see why we didn’t work out now?”

“Guess so.”

“You know, I do wish the best for you. Honestly. You deserve better than the cards you got dealt here.”

“You can say that again,” Rafael sighs. “I did really love you, you know.”

“Yeah. Sometimes that’s not enough. I loved you too.”

He takes a deep breath. “I wish you the best too. You’ll be a good mother.”

“Thank you, Rafi,” you whisper back, leaning over to hug him softly. There it is again; that cold bitter ache - when’s the last time you referred to him by that nickname? And now it would be the last. “Goodbye and good luck.”

"Yeah, you too," he says, rubbing your shoulder awkwardly, remembering a time when touching you was second nature. He watches you, your eyes make contact with Sonny's, and you turn back one last time to give Rafael a sympathetic smile... and that's the last time he ever sees you.

Taglist (lmk if you wanna be added!): @stormtrooperofficerbrowneyes @thatesqcrush @law-nerd105 @blackeyedangel9805 @moon-river-drifter @dianilaws @xecq @lv7867 @teddybluesclues @averyhotchner @houseofthirst @stardust-fray @lapaquerette @wanniiieeee​ @altsvu​

[adelaidedrubman]

🍧 🌪 (Jestiny) , 🥞 🌋 (Jenna), 🙈 🎁 (Lela) pls?

THANK YOU AMANDA ILY FOR THESE sorry for the long answers on the second one for jess.

🍧 SHAVED ICE - do they still have any objects from their childhood? what significance does it have to them? what would their reaction be if they lost it?

just one, really — her maternal grandparent’s wedding bands, which were bequeathed to her after their passing. particularly as an adult, they aren’t actually something jessie really wants, she doesn’t really ever intend to get married and would honestly rather one of her cousins have them, but she doesn’t really know how to regift them without feeling guilty for being ungrateful, so she hangs on to them, one of the very few items that don’t get tossed out during her regularly scheduled freak out about being in the same place for too long and impulsively pack up and leave stunts. she would certainly feel guilty if she lost them, she doesn’t necessarily think she’s the best person to have them but she also did love her grandparents and wants to treasure the gift, or at least the sentiment.

🌪️ TORNADO - what is the biggest change you've ever made to them? how have they changed from their original version?

i would say the biggest change i’ve made to her has been making her more condescending and pretentious in her own way. i’d always planned for her to be someone who was highly intelligent but could never afford to live up to her potential in terms of education, and for her to have a resulting intellectual insecurity that drives a lot of her actions. but initially i’d planned for her to have more of a practical than studied intelligence to contrast john, and for her to be comfortable enough with that and not want to compete with him on his own playing field.

a combination of things made me shift that, first being jessie as a character letting me know that she actually is very much capable and ready to compete with him on every playing field ever at any time, thank you very much. second being that i decided i was kinda playing into class stereotypes myself with that one by giving her a nicer, more wholesome means of showing off her intelligence, and she’s an insensitive asshole anyways, why shouldn’t she be allowed to be witty and clever in the cold, refined, conceited way rich characters get to be? so she often is, and it’s mostly retaliatory, it’s something she doesn’t like about herself and wants to think she’s grown out of, and for the most part she really only pulls status and talks down to people and insults their intelligence if they do it to her first, but... idk you can catch her lowkey calling the other resistance members stupid on multiple occasions for not understanding the Very Important And Not At All Sexual Game of 5D Chess she’s playing with john, the most important man in the universe for logical reasons. so! that’s that!

i also think i made her more consciously manipulative than i’d originally planned, i’d always meant for her to be somewhat socially inept and insensitive but i sorta refined that to her like... having trouble connecting on a personal emotional level with people, but she’s actually fairly perceptive and picks up on social and emotional cues if she bothers to pay attention (she usually doesn’t), and CAN even be genuinely charming if she Makes An Effort (often for scumbag manipulative reasons).

🥞 PANCAKE - what is their comfort breakfast?

as much as jenna stresses the importance of a balanced breakfast and tries to start the day with a filling protein to give her a solid energy reserve, she has an undeniable sweet tooth, and if she’s allowing herself to indulge her favorite breakfast is some kind of sugary pastry with fresh fruit and a cup of tea with lots of honey.

🌋 VOLCANO - how bad is their temper? is it a slow boil, or a instant explosion?

she doesn’t have much of one, she’s very calm and centered and if anything a little too detached from her anger (and emotions generally). she doesn’t direct a lot of energy towards the things that make her angry or fixate on them, although certain things and people can certainly get under her skin. when that happens it is more of a subtle background simmer, she’s pretty cold with her hate and there will be no big explosions, at most the subjects of her anger will get a few subtle biting remarks that probably fly over their heads.

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?

any amount of doubt, weakness, or fear is something she tends to shove down pretty deeply and try to deny to herself she’s feeling. she knows she’s been gullible and desperate in the past and fallen for cures that didn’t really work the way she wanted to convince herself, and a part of her does stay worried that the bliss and her chosen status will ultimately be the same story but more drawn out, occasionally she does think maybe she’s just a pampered rich girl playing soldier and it will all come to an end. but it’s never something she can voice directly.

🎁 PRESENT - what types of presents would they be most happy to receive? are they good at gift giving?

she’s always been big on practical gift giving, both pre and during cult times. but she’s not necessarily GOOD at gift giving, before eden’s gate her gifts tended to be flashier and expensive while still things her recipients could use. (bitch basically bought every present like she was shopping off a wedding registry, enjoy your new air fryer, no she didn’t bother to check if you already have one but if you do the one she’s giving you is probably better.) chosen era this usually means a new weapon or she just dumps a dead deer she hunted on your porch. the gift will never be personal though, and may only be practical in her mind.

[matchasprouts]

Listen Closer - Chapter 2

[ your honour, i simply love him. also this may become my focus for a while so idk if The Walls and Ashes will keep getting semi-regular updates ]

First || Next || Previous || Last

“Do you ever think about making traps that aren’t iron maidens?” Amanda asked, looking up from her own work to watch Garrett attach a chain to a literal iron maiden.

Garrett glanced at her before scoffing and placing the collar on the chain down on the ground as he went around to the back of the maiden to check the pulley the chain was attached to. “I think about plenty of traps. Iron maidens are just my favourite. Would you rather I-”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Amanda cut him off, already knowing he was about to spew some shit on medieval torture methods. “I was just curious. I mean, they work, so I’m not complaining. And it keeps you busy.”

Right. Because if he wasn’t building or designing a trap he was writing, and that would be falling back on what he was trying to unlearn.

When he went to respond, he was cut off yet again by his phone ringing. He answered it almost immediately, since the only people with that number were his Jigsaw associates. “Yeah?” he greeted, tucking the phone under his ear as he got back to work.

“Garrett. I am in the car, outside. I need your help,” came the voice of John through the phone, the way he spoke making Garrett chuckle to himself. “Be prepared to carry a person.” Oh! There was no scheduled game for today?

Garrett once again tried to reply, just for John to hang up. He let out an annoyed groan, but flipped the phone shut and tossed it on the table. “Don’t touch my trap,” he told Amanda, before pulling down his sleeves and jogging outside to help John.

He was ninety percent sure he heard her fucking with his trap as soon as he left.

---

“Who in the FUCK is this guy?” Garrett asked, struggling slightly to keep John’s newest victim standing, his limp body leaning heavily into him. Garrett was the strongest of the three of them, sure, and the second tallest but this guy was HUGE. He had to be at least 6’0, and carrying him was like carrying a brick wall.

John glanced at him, a vague amusement in his eyes but a neutral look on his face. “That, Garrett, is Detective Mark Hoffman. Normally I don’t go after cops if I had no evidence that they’re dirty, but he attempted to frame us, and I cannot tolerate that. Getting caught myself doesn’t matter. Keeping you and Amanda safe does.”

Aww, murder dad moments. Better than the dad Garrett used to have. “Right,” he let out a huff, readjusting Mark as he dragged him through the room, FINALLY dropping him into a chair in the middle of the workshop. “No wonder he’s a detective, the man’s a fucking giant.”

He stood in front of the still passed out detective, giving him a proper look over. He was big, like he’d already said, with short dark brown hair that had looked black outside. He had surprisingly well formed lips for a presumably cis white guy, and Garrett surprised himself with the thought that they looked awfully biteable.

Ah, there’s his gay instinct. He’d been wondering where it had gone, since it hadn’t fucked him over when he’d met that Adam Faulkner guy- who was definitely cute, but also now haunting him, which kind of ruins the appeal.

Moving on from that, Hoffman also had a little bit of scruff on his jaw, which Garrett quickly realized was what he’d felt on his temple while he was carrying him to the chair.

His little inspection was cut short when John began setting up the trap, strapping Hoffman to the chair with a shotgun strapped to his chest, the barrel directly under his chin.

“That doesn’t look very escapable,” Garrett joked, sending a short look to Amanda, who immediately looked away, at least having the decency to be embarrassed about her rigged traps.

“You would be surprised what human beings will do to escape entrapment,” John replied simply. “But this one is not built for him to escape from on his own. I’m going to make him an offer.”

He looked at his two apprentices, gesturing for Amanda to come over to them. “I want both of you to keep working on your games tonight, out of the warehouse. I know much about the detective, but not everything. I’m not going to risk him lashing out.”

Of course. John Kramer was nothing if not protective of his apprentices. Theoretically, Hoffman would fall into this category when the night was over. “Well, my iron maiden’s done,” Garrett said, glancing back at his newest device. “My game could take place soon, if not tomorrow. I know where the player will be.”

John nodded at this. “Good. Run your game then. If all goes as planned tonight, it will be good for our newest recruit to see one of you in action. Maybe he’ll learn something. Now go, both of you.”

Usually, Amanda argued when he dismissed her, but apparently she could see that he was serious, and simply packed her things and left. Garrett looked at Hoffman one last time before doing the same.

He could hear Hoffman begin to stir as he stepped out the door, and he found himself hoping that everything would go smoothly tonight.

Gay ass.

---

“Man, just carrying bodies is giving me a work-out,” Garrett muttered under his breath as he readjusted the woman slung over his shoulder, finally lowering her to the ground of the room her game would be taking place in.

As much as he wanted to do one of those big, multi-room games he’d seen John put on, he just didn’t have enough experience for those yet. So, it was a single room, with a single trap. Since it was small, he’d chosen someone with a small offense.

He’d even gotten to record the tape himself.

The collar let out a satisfying click as he fixed it onto the player’s neck, humming a soft tune as he gave it a tug to ensure it was one correctly.

There was a key for her to get in the middle of the room, just barely out of reach of the chain. She’d really have to get creative with getting to it. He checked the chain itself as well, ensuring it wouldn’t break off. He finished his check-up with a look at the hinges on the doors of the iron maiden, and the pulley attached to the chain.

The player was starting to stir, so he placed the tape recorder next to her and took his chance to leave. After all, if she survived, he really needed her to not see his face.

Soon enough, he took his place in the camera room, leaning back in his chair and propping his feet up on the desk.

“Do you always watch your games like that?” he heard someone speak up, looking to the door that Hoffman had just come through. He tilted his head at the detective, before grinning at him.

“Sure do,” Garrett replied, turning back to the screens. “Well, I would, if this wasn’t my first game. Usually I’m tinkering with something while John’s games are running.”

The player had woken up by then, clicking the tape on and cutting off the conversation.

“Hello Cara. I want to play a game,” the tape said, the voice making Garrett smile. It had been hard work getting his distorted voice to sound similar enough to the original Jigsaw’s. “For years you have kept yourself in a closet of your own creation in order to help others rise above you, allowing them to steal your work.”

“Well, unless you want that closet to become your death, you will rise above that today. Before you is a box, and inside it is the key to your freedom. You will have to work to get it. You have ten minutes. If you do not get to the key in time, the closet behind you will become your coffin. Live or die, Cara. Make your choice.”

The tape clicked off after that, and Cara did exactly what Garrett guessed she would- run straight for the box and find out the hard way that the chain was just barely short of the required length to grab it.

“This is usually the part where they start screaming for help and panicking. I gave her ten minutes because I knew she would, and that’s when a lot of people tend to die. I wanted to give her a fair chance.”

That almost seemed nice, but it was a lie. Garrett liked watching them thrash around and panic. The more time they had alive, the more time they could slowly go insane.

Hoffman had moved closer at some point, now sitting next to him in a chair that he’d pulled over to the desk. This was the first time Garrett had seen him since last night, so he finally got a chance to look at his eyes.

For someone who wasn’t a fan of blue eyes, Garrett thought Hoffman’s were gorgeous. He very, very quickly looked away, turning his attention back to his game.

“Did you build the iron maiden yourself?” Hoffman asked, and Garrett scoffed at the question.

“No, unfortunately. I didn’t have enough time to build one from the ground up,” he answered with a soft, disappointed sigh. “I found most of it from a collector that built replicas of medieval shit, but never got around to completing it. I finished it off, added the extras.”

Hoffman gave a hum of acknowledgement, his gaze glued to the screen in front of them. “How is this supposed to help her? How did it even help you?” There it was. Since Hoffman hadn’t gone through a real game, he didn’t feel the same as Garrett and Amanda. He didn’t understand it like they did.

Garrett readjusted himself in his chair, tilting his head at the screen. “I don’t want to tear every person I see to shreds anymore,” he offered with a shrug. “I don’t feel like screaming for hours on end until my throat bleeds. I’d say it worked pretty well on me. Sometimes you just need that kind of release.”

“For her, she’s supposed to learn her worth. She’s not just the sum of what she can do for others, what’s more important is what she can do for herself. And she needs to figure that out. I don’t want her to die. Why would I? That’s not the point.”

He didn’t notice Hoffman turning to look at him while he spoke, so he almost flinched when he glanced over and made eye contact with him. They held each other’s gazes for a moment, before they both looked back to the screen.

Cara really was trying to get that box, having now resorted to removing her belt and attempting to loop it around the box. It took a few tries, but she finally got a grip on the box and pulled it over to herself.

She scrambled to open it, and Garrett glanced at the timer.

Eight seconds.

“She’s not going to make it,” he realized aloud. He hadn’t even noticed how quickly time was passing, but he didn’t feel anything when the timer went off, or when Cara screamed as the chain yanked back, dragging her into the iron maiden.

Her screams became wet and gurgled when the doors of the maiden closed on her. Blood seeped out of the cracks at the bottom of the door. He just stared at the screen.

“Huh. Maybe ten minutes wasn’t enough time. Shame. I was really looking forward to seeing her get better.” With that, he stood up, turned off the screen, and headed back to the room to leave the iconic jigsaw piece in her skin. Hoffman followed, and watched him do it. “Most important part, if they die,” Garrett told him as he cut the skin with a scalpel John had given him, closing the door again when he was done.

And then he turned to Hoffman, his head tilted to the side in a curious motion. “Will you be the detective on the case? I suppose this will be your first test of loyalty, hm? I’d hate to kill you. You’re very pretty.”

He gave Hoffman a pat on the shoulder as he left the room, leaving him to think on what he’d said. It wasn’t a threat, but it was clear that he would kill him if needed. But he genuinely did not want to.

A smile formed when he heard Hoffman follow him out of the room. It was nice to have another apprentice, and it was looking like they’d get along.

[angeltrapz]

for the “give me a character” meme! Eric, Adam, William, Mallick, Strahm, Rigg!!!!

YESS thank u!!!!

Eric:

How I feel about this character: That's my boy!!! <33

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Uuuu okay. Adam, obviously, but concerning the SAW polycule: Adam, Art, Lawrence, William, & Mallick!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Him & Rigg!!! That's his best friend!!! + he and Gibson in the Eric Lives AU!! (Gibson IS dating his best friend + recognizes that he's made the effort to change <3)

My unpopular opinion about this character: You Understand This but the idea that he's irredeemable/deserved to die is complete and utter bullshit. This post that you made perfectly describes my feelings on that!!

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: Firstly that he. Y'know. Didn't die. But I would have loved to see any of his interactions with Hoffman? Obviously they knew each other + I like to think they have since they were in academy together, so there's gotta be some sort of history there, y'know?? I feel like he definitely cared about Eric so I would've been very interested to see more regarding that relationship! + one more big one: I wish he knew/was at least made aware of the fact that Daniel was ALIVE and okay. It kills me thinking abt how this man died not knowing if his child made it out.

Adam:

How I feel about this character: I loooove him he deserved better. I relate pretty heavily to him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Hehe. Lawrence obviously!! Chainshipping is a HUGE comfort ship for me. BUT! Regarding the SAW polycule: Lawrence, Eric, William, Gibson, & Mallick!! + when concerning that alternative canon continuity we've been talking abt, Strahm. But only in that circumstance lol,,

My non-romantic OTP for this character: MANDY!!! In any AU where she's either not a disciple or abandoned her apprenticeship, I firmly believe that he and Amanda would be best friends. Mean gay/lesbian solidarity siblings who would fight tooth and nail for each other + who get each other on a level that not many others can. Pamela also!! Along w Mandy I like to think they talk about their experiences being trans a lot + just bitching w each other lol.

My unpopular opinion about this character: IDK how unpopular this actually is but I 100% believe that Adam would never become a disciple in any capacity, ESP not of his own accord. I genuinely think he'd rather die. That's just not something I can see him doing in any circumstance.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wish someone had gotten him out of the bathroom :( And in an AU where he lives I hope someone tells him what a bastard Zep was!! No one made that dude hold a gun to Diana's head and listen to her heartbeat what the FUCK was that!!

William:

How I feel about this character: He's such a sweetheart I love him,, <33

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Lawrence & Adam <3 in the polycule though this includes Eric & Mallick!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: He and Pamela obviously!! His sister is his best friend and they're there for each other 100%.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Much like Eric I don't think he deserved to die/that he's completely irredeemable... he fights so hard to save everyone and is utterly devastated when he can't. He's willing to hurt himself to save others (nearly dislocating his shoulders trying to keep both Addy and Allen, burning himself with the steam for Debbie, etc.) and it's like. John is always talking about how it can't be personal but it seems pretty fucking personal here!

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: The fact that nobody saw how hard he fought for his coworkers + the sacrifices he made for them upsets me to no end. That was intentional. John didn't want Tara + Brent (or Pamela for that matter!) to see him as human and that fucking bothers me!! So basically I just wish that they could've seen it via camera like literally almost every trap victim gets in some capacity!!

Mallick:

How I feel about this character: Yet another character I relate to wayyy too much <33 I love him...

All the people I ship romantically with this character: BRIT!!! + concerning the SAW polycule: Adam, Eric, William, & Lawrence!! (Art maybe too,,)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I like to think he and Laura would've gotten along actually? I feel like that would be a good, healthy friendship. And I do like the idea of he and Brit like this too!! Other than that maybe Mandy? I feel like they could relate to each other a little bit, help each other when they're feeling brainweird,, (Mallick n Mandy: havers of Symptoms Disorder <3)

My unpopular opinion about this character: Again I don't know if it's unpopular, persay, but uh. I don't think the Mallick we meet in V would willingly sit and listen to Bobby Dagen in 3D. He'd hate that dude. My take on it is that Brit didn't survive V (although I think read somewhere that the crew confirmed she survived?) and that's why he was there: because he'd lost the one true connection he'd made in god knows how long. That's rlly the only way I see him sitting thru Dagen's bullshit lmao.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wanted him to see Brit again,, and I just wanted to see him more in general tbh, esp because he makes a reappearance where so many prior Jigsaw survivors do not. I would've liked to see him interact with Simone given that they both lost a limb/nearly a limb (in Mallick's case). This is related to that, but I also wish the evidence of the 10 Pints trap wasn't just. A tiny scar? I HC that it took his whole hand, so.

Strahm:

How I feel about this character: Ohhh my beloved. Why didn't they give you a better narrative it would've been SO interesting. I love you though <3

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Honestly? Still super fond of Gibson/Strahm in a scenario where things are different,, I've written quite a bit abt them and kinda want to again but if I do it'll probably be. Not for a while + VASTLY different. but recent additions have been Hoffman (I used to. not understand Stroffman whatsoever. now I Get It) and Adam!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: PEREZ!!! I've always thought of them as best friends since I first saw IV, and I do think he genuinely cared about her - quite a lot, actually, esp given how devastated he was when she was injured. They hang out at each other's apartments all the time + get coffee regularly. I love them.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don't think he's a dumbass?? I don't know if that's unpopular. I think that he's IMPULSIVE and that it gets him into trouble, but Strahm has always struck me as incredibly intelligent + has a good moral compass for the most part?? I mean, he figured out there was a second apprentice (second as far as he knows, anyway) helping with traps just by examining Kerry's crime scene. I think he's VERY smart. He just acts quickly + sometimes that means there's not much planning for if things go south. (I DO agree that showing up to the packing plant w/out backup was dumb though,, doesn't mean he DESERVED the Water Cube but y'know)

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: It's not really mentioned if he does in canon, but I wish he'd been made aware of the fact that Perez was alive,, it bothers me that he might've died not knowing she was okay. The other thing is that I wish he'd survived V!!! I think it would've been WAY more narratively satisfying for him to kinda follow in Tapp's footsteps as a vigilante Jigsaw hunter. (That's why I love yr takes on him so much!!)

Rigg:

How I feel about this character: He has such a big heart. He cares so so much. I wish ppl talked about him more :(

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Gibson!!! And uhh Hoffman, but they're exes,, but! In a scenario I'm kind of going over in my head, maaaybe Adam... the basics though is that he searches the Nerve Gas House independently and somehow finds the Bathroom following II, and He is the one to rescue Adam. Very tentative abt that one though bc I'm still working it out lol. (Possibly Eric/Adam/Rigg???)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Eric!!! His best friend <3 I think he's also pretty close with Kerry, though I think he hangs out w her independent of Eric given,, the messy ex situation. I think he probably got along well with Fisk too!! OH and I think he and Sing would've been good friends as well. The chaos of a Rigg/Gibson/Sing friend trio...

My unpopular opinion about this character: Mmm I don't know that I have one? Other than maybe like. I understood why he went through the door. He knew Eric was on the other side; he just didn't know the circumstances or what would happen if he went through. All he knew was that he was that much closer to someone he's been trying to find/rescue for MONTHS + someone he cares for deeply. Of COURSE he went through. He breaks my heart ugh,,,

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wish he hadn't even been tested!!!! His one flaw was that he cared about ppl and somehow John saw that as something he needed to fix!!! Like yes I do agree that it was eating away at him and the obsession might've been unhealthy, but that's two of his closest friends dude!! I don't think he deserved to be tested for that. I don't. He just wanted to help ppl and keep them safe. I absolutely despise how Rigg was treated dkjflkdf!!!!

[dittydipity]

i decided to sort of live blog(?) my thoughts while watching detroit:evolution like i did with d:a, and since i don’t want to spam the tag i put everything into one post, so watch out for the very very long post ahead

ok that’s a sick logo intro. always a sucker for neons

f in chat boys

nines: i’ll see in you court / gavin: let’s do it baby, i know the law

THE BANTS

leave chris alone damn son

wait that was just the intro?? hello???

ooh i can tell this opening theme was inspired by the opening theme of dbh and the whole intro cinematic definitely reflects that. this theme does have an element of unease and suspicion that the original didn’t have and i think that’s great

ok right off the bat: nines using pavlovian conditioning on gavin to make him ‘behave’ is 100% canon

carla is killing it as tina, you go girl

gavin with braincells? big brain gavin???

nines @ dpd black market intel people: that’s illegal people can’t do that

wow nines really pulled a “what the fuck did you just say about me you little punk? i’ll have you know i’m the most advanced android model and i have a database in my brain with over 200,000 english words”

OKAY THE ‘BLOW A KISS TO YOUR FACE AND A MIDDLE FINGER TO YOUR BACK’ MOVE IS PHENOMENAL catch me doing that on the daily

ada: hi / gavin: she was all over you nines

gavin: so are you two gonna fuck / nines: wuhhguhwh *red led* excuse me *offended noises* i do not have the capability to “””””fuck”””””

gavin: dude look it’s a suspicious individual that could be extremely pertinent to this case / nines: so tell me about your feelings

hi i both love and hate the fact that their positioning makes it so that gavin can’t see nines’ led

also i do love how every moment of this feels packed with importance. the silences, the pauses are just as important, if not more, than moments with dialogue and action. the acting from everyone and the micro-expressions are done so well that i sometimes forget that this is all acting and not the actual characters. the camera work accentuates all of this by focusing on things we maybe wouldn’t have noticed on our own, or things certain characters don’t have privy to that result in that sweet, sweet dramatic irony

ah yes i hate it when i accidentally drop a dismembered arm from my entirely inconspicuous crate. at least my bright glowing neon blue boa is here to keep me company and hidden from any possible law enforcement officers that may be on stake out

idk about you but if i was a seasoned criminal i too would be rocking sickass sunglasses and a feather boa. got to dress the part

me getting interrogated by the police for being found with a dead person’s body part on me: 😎 *finger guns*

gavin+nines: cool motive, still crime

dude michael how are your eyelashes so goddamn lush and long

gays in chat: T e n d e r

“this will all still be here in the morning”

buy one ‘this’ and get one nines free

gavin: i’m fine / narrator: he was not fine.

nines: i think i will give gavin a biology lesson as he recovers from a nightmare

music music m u s i c

gavin: please don’t remember that / [nines will remember that]

gavin: oh god oh fuck we can’t let him know we have feelings and emotions like a person

all these different parts, is someone building a super android with parts from specialized androids?

google how do i marry scene lighting

tina and chris are the only thing keeping this family together

ada sorta sus tho

hi welcome to therapy in an alleyway in front of a bar with nines. this will go very well.

ada very sus tho

nines: hey ada this extremely suspicious dark alley with a dead end isn’t the way back to jericho

oh god gavin has the braincell that’s why nines doesn’t oh no

f in chat bois

on GOD the lighting is incredible and the ambient music??

oh ada is amanda but shortened goddammit

o o f ada throwing nines’ words back at him

tina holds 99% of the dpd’s braincells. mvp

gavin: tina is no longer my best friend (still obviously friends), nines is now my best friend

props to maximilian for lying still for so long that’s impressive

gavin: pouring his heart out / nines: WAKE ME UP. WAKE ME UP INSIDE. CAN’T WAKE UP

“i hate you.” “you love me” OHOHO HOW THE TURN TABLES

kamski, making rk900: this prototype model can have a little ability to kiss. as a treat

and they bounce back so quickly i’m-

chris is all of chat

let tina be detective 2k38

chris: don’t- / gavin: imma bust a cap in her ass

NINES WITH A CROWBAR WHAT WILL HE DO

get his ass kicked i guess

local detroit football coach commits tax fraud

octopunk gang said ace rights but also made a 75 minute movie to back it up

this credits music??? turn up for WHAT

once again the octopunkmedia crew has created an incredible work of art and film, shoutout to everyone in the cast, crew, and everyone who supported this production!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #247

“i tried to choke my mom with my umbilical cord, the doctor was too busy amputating my horns.”

Have you ever had confetti pancakes? I don't believe so. Do you obsess over your appearance? To a degree, ex. in regards to weight. Are you responsible for stuffing someone’s stocking? No. What’s your favorite romantic comedy? Ah man, idk. I like romcoms, just none are coming to mind right now. Do you stock up on make-up palettes during November? ????? no????? Have you ever taken a class online? Yes. Do you have a Neopets account? Omg I have so many piled up, I'm sure, lol. Loved that shit and kept going back. Do you make your own smoothies or juices? No. Do you think time really does heal all? No. Are you more sensitive to heat or the cold? HEAT, FUCKING CHRIST. Has anyone searched your room for anything recently? Mom helped me search for one of my mood stabilizers that the cat got out of my basket... We never found it. A new bottle. Thank god my psychiatrist just gave me a sample pack til my prescription can be refilled. Is anything in your room purposely hidden? Yes. Do you get a cold around the holidays? I rarely get sick, regardless of the season. Does it snow where you live? Rarely. Have you ever been pranked via hidden camera? No. Is hair gel a turn off on guys? "Not necessarily, but too much can be." <<<< This. Do you think cursing makes people sound unintelligent? Lol fuck off. What’s something you can cook extremely well? The only thing I CAN cook is cheesy scrambled eggs but I mean they're exceptionally good lol. Have you ever been bitten by a snake? Nope. How about a spider? Possibly at some point. If you don't want kids, was there ever a time you did, and vice-versa? The only time I ever wanted kids was deep into Jason's and my relationship. It's funny because I wanted three and now I'm just all NOPE. I stopped wanting kids after him. What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? Idc. Do you ever count sheep to help you fall asleep? No. Do you have a youtube channel? If so, when did you start it? Yeah. I was on YouTube real early... don't remember the actual year, though. Do you have a secret crush right now? No. When was the last time you called customer service? I haven't. Do you take birth control pills? Not currently for mood reasons, but with my incredible fear of being raped, I kinda wanna go back. Do you like chocolate cake? Yeah man. Do you know anyone who doesn’t want to have kids? Plenty of people, myself included. Do you regret letting a certain guy or girl slip away? Ugh idk. There's no telling how awfully or well that path would've gone. Have you ever fainted? Yes. Do you consider yourself a good artist? Decent, anyway. Do you ever play board games anymore? Not really, I don't enjoy board games. The only time I ever really do is if Girt's over cuz that's like our "thing." Who was your first celebrity crush? Whew, Jesse McCartney. Who in your family did you get your height from? Mom. Who did you get your smile from? your hair color? your eye color? Smile, idk. Hair, also unsure. Dad was born dirty blond like me, but his hair turned black. Meanwhile I think Mom has always had brown hair, but hers is very dark/almost black. My maternal grandpa had blue eyes like me. Do you have big or small hands? Idk, normal. What was the name of your first imaginary friend you remember having? I never really had one. Do you pray to God regularly? Considering I don't believe in Him, no. What is your favorite version of the Bible to read? Even growing up religious, I sure never spent time reading various versions of the Bible. Have you been baptized? If so, how and where were you baptized? I was as a baby in a Roman Catholic church. You know, the traditional baptism with being dipped in water. Do you eat meat? Sadly. What college did you go to? and what was your major? I'm not sharing what college I go to, but my major is Art & Design. Do you miss living with a roommate? I look back on living with Jason, Jacob, and Amanda fondly most of the time, but idk if I can say I miss it. I at least don't miss my mental health. Have you ever been abused in any way? I feel incredibly thankful that I haven't... It seems like most people I know have been in some way or form. Do you like unicorns? Yeah man, they're dope. How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real? Idk, some year in elementary school. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Ha ha no, I've got a cat for that. He insists on being cuddled most of the time. Name 3 things you are allergic to. Just pollen and silver. Oh, I do get headaches from artificial sweeteners, but "allergic" seems like the wrong word. Is there one book you have read over and over again because it’s so good? if so, which is it? The only two books I know I've read more than once are Because of Winn-Dixie and the Meerkat Manor book. Who was your favorite Rugrats character? Uhhh I think it was just regular ole Tommy. Which fairytale resembles your life the most? Uh idk. Do you play games on your phone a lot? No. What’s your favorite thing to do on your phone? Text Sara. Where do you buy most of your clothes? Wal-Mart or Hot Topic. Who is your favorite cousin? I don't have a favorite. Do you have family that lives in another state? Oh yeah, we're all the hell over the place. What states have you lived in? Only NC. Do you watch birth vlogs on youtube? bitch what the fuck What is your favorite type of cake? Red velvet. Favorite arcade game? I neeeeeed to find an arcade one day that actually has the Silent Hill game. It's so rare. I'm sure I'd love it. Have you ever found a roller coaster relaxing? Uh no, but I've never been on one, nor can I even imagine one ever being relaxing. Have you ever seen a spirit? I believe I have. Have you ever been kidnapped? Yikes no. Is there a running trail near your house? Not that I'm aware of. A game you cheated on in elementary school? None that I remember? Do you wear a retainer at night? I'm SUPPOSED to, but I haven't in so long that it doesn't even fit anymore. Where is the last place you had a kiss? The airport. When was the last time you cried out of physical pain? I think it hasn't been since that infected cyst was drained in like late '16. FUCK that. Have you ever done anything to Support the Troops? No. Do you donate blood? I did once, but now I'm too nervous to because I know I don't drink enough water and don't wanna faint. Have you ever owned the socks with toes on them? Ha, yeah, my sisters and I did. They were just a silly gift sometimes. What were you the last time you went trick or treating? WOW I couldn't even try to tell you, that's reaching far back. What was your favorite part about studying ancient Greeks and Romans? The badass names lmao. Where did your mom go to high school? Somewhere in NY. What’s a subject you would never major in? Mathematics. Is there someone who you can turn to for money and not be ashamed? No. I'm only EVER capable of doing so with Mom, but even then I don't like it. Have you ever swam in a river? Yeah, as a kiddo. I don't think I would now. What food do you love the smell of while it’s cooking? Cinnamon rolls omfggggg. What food do you hate the smell of uncooked? Fish, I guess? Has a bee ever stung you? Yes, once. Where did you last go camping? Never been. In what month do you start Christmas shopping? I can't Christmas shop considering I don't have an income. Have you ever slept in a bed with someone with bad BO? Yes. Do you have a favorite flavor at Baskin Robbins? No. Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity of the same sex? HUNNY Hannah Hart is a GODDESS godDAMN What kind of flowers would you plant in your garden? I'm too lazy for a garden. Do you believe that kids should be taught abstinence? I would definitely inform them of it being a completely valid and safest form of STD prevention, but I don't believe it should be what is "right." What's important is educating them on safe sex and to choose whom they're intimate with very carefully. I absolutely encourage them being taught what being "too young" means, too. Now what "too young" is can be argued, but let's be a late teen at least. When’s the last time you went to Chuck E. Cheese? Boy, I don't have a clue. What’s your favorite cheese or cheese flavored food? American. Cheese-flavored food is absolutely impossible to pick. Do you like black licorice? I hate licorice. Do you watch anything on the E! network? No. Have you ever tried out or thought of trying out for American Idol? Nope. Did you keep any momentos of high school dances? I had my... what's it called? The flower band on your wrist? Whatever, I had that for a long time. Do you still have clothes from your high school dances? I have both prom dresses. I'm probably gonna try to sell them this prom season though because I have absolutely no reason to keep them, and I'm poor lmao. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No. Ever been to the original 13 colonies? I live in NC so like,,, Have you ever been to a concert that got out of control? Nope. Can you jump rope double dutch? I used to be able to as a kid. I loved jump rope. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? Eek... idk. Actually, I might know. I want to know, but also don't, if whether or not how I treated Jason after the breakup was abusive or not. I've asked people in my life, old therapist included, if it was from what I told them (which was honest), and the unanimous answer has been no, that I was sick/actually insane and heartbroken beyond words, but yeah. I still wonder about it. Do you have a bucket list? If so, what are the top three things? Not really, but I mean of course there's things I wanna do, top two (idk about three) being to meet Mark and visit the KMP to photograph and pet the meerkats. Do you feel you had a happy childhood? For the most part, yeah. When did you last cry in front of another person? Last week when I was having a meltdown about school. How do you feel about tattoos and piercings? Explain. I LIVE!!!!!!!! FOR THEM!!!!!!!! As someone who never felt totally comfortable in her body, one thing that has always helped me has been new tats and piercings. It's like a more permanent form of make-up, you could say. All they've ever done is make me like a part of myself. Do you wear a lot of makeup? Why/why not? I almost never do unless I want to take a "pretty" picture. Talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. JINKIES!!!!!!! UHHHHHHH man that's hard 'cuz there's a whole whoppin' load. I guess I can talk about some lyrics from Ozzy's "Life Won't Wait" that used to make me really emotional back in the dark days: "Every day that you wait, you're falling faster / no sleight of hand, no twist of fate, no ever after / when it's gone - it's gone, a fight to the bitter end." Just that whole song used to sting so much when I felt like I really was just entirely wasting my life being sad every day. Just like... a lot of Ozzy's lyrics have really resonated and stuck with me. I still have the hardest time believing the Parkinson's news. God, life's cruel. Poison a legendary singer's voice. I hope, so long he feels truly capable, this concert still happens so I can actually hear and see him one time and literally sob and okay I'm getting emotional basically I Love Ozzy Osbourne. List the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. Ha, speaking of concerts. Only seen Alice Cooper, but it was aaaaaaamazing! Outside in a (mostly light) thunderstorm playing some classic good shit. It was a fun adventure, especially having my younger sis, a full-on redneck, come along just because she was bored and came for the ride. She was so, so, SO confused and creeped out and was NOT fucking happy when he brought his python on stage as he usually does. We were absolutely drenched when it was over; the ride home, we were freezing, and changing out of those soaked clothes was like a holy experience. Who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? Jason telling me he forgives me and doesn't hate me. Do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organized/not organized? I don't, sadly. My bed is where I do like... everything, which I hate. I'd love to turn my sister's old room into like my "work" room, where I do homework, draw, etc., but I can't for a number of reasons. What is your night time routine? Go to the bathroom, take my meds, go to bed. Not very complicated. What’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? Certain places I've "done things" oops. If you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? I wanna dye my hair lilac currently. I wouldn't change the style. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? N/A What’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? Murder, to name just one. If you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? If you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? My hair is short now. What is the most important thing to you in your life right now? My mental health.

[gothgeminimoon]

longlostloveletters

3.

4/27/2017

Thomas, my future husband,

Thank you for the roses, my handsome man, they’re beautiful.

Every time I get to see your face I’m filled with so many emotions. Happy to see you’re alive, worried to see the pain in your eyes, and hopeful to see you in the flesh again.

I know we are having a difficult time navigating this. I apologize for not being more prepared to take on this responsibility. I’m so nervous to reach out to someone on base to help me help you. I don’t even know what I’d say to them.

Until I find the courage, I promise to treat you with love and a listening ear. Mostly, I know I can’t take things too personal for now. I trust that once I see you again you will feel safe to talk freely and I’ll hold your hand through it all. I hope for the absolutely best outcome possible.

I believe that by learning more about processing my own emotions and holding space for myself, I can do the same for you.

This deployment is temporary.

With all that being said, I need to create a boundary with Amanda. I, in my naivety, allowed her to start staying on the couch since her sob story worked on me. Now that Paulo is about to be deployed (to which she replied, out loud, “oh good my spell worked”)… she has let it be known that she would like to live in his room. And you know me, Im not the best at putting my foot down. And this lady is crazy, like, I’m sure the cops would have to get involved because she is clearly incapable of handling things with consideration.

I don’t know what to do. I made a huge mistake and she has casted a spell on our home. I’m worried she will try to cast me out and, even tho I don’t believe in much, sometimes people like her will go to extreme lengths to get what they are in need of.

And you know every chance she gets to try and intercept what’s happening between us she takes it.

Anyway, I don’t want to stress you out more than you already are. I want you to know that I will figure this out. Once I reach out to a resource that man gave me the day you left I know it will be easier since they’ve been thru this before.

Is there anything in particular I can send you in the next care package? I want you to have everything you need. Too bad I can’t pack myself up in there tho lol. I would.

School is alright, my focus waivers but I’m making good grades. Work is the same. With the Amanda situation it complicates things so I’m starting to wonder if I should find somewhere else. Maybe a hotel or even the school? Idk.

Still working out and even made some friends at Zumba. There’s a lady I know from Crestview who I’ve been able to connect with! Oh!! And I’ve been invited to teach every month at Zumba fundraisers for local single black moms who have kids with autism. These ladies do a lot of work to care for their babies, I’m grateful to be able to be a part of it and look forward to the future with them.

Sorry, I know it’s long. There’s just so much to say I guess.

As always,

Please make it back to me.

I love you forever and with everything left sacred within me,

Your future wife,

Forever

[shintorikhazumi]

“Hikari no Jukyo” (The Dwelling place of Light Pt1)

A/N: SO this is a part of my post for ideas/requests from last time. Though this will be a two-shot. I overdid it, my bad. Now, there’s a part that is supposed to be “quintet” instead of “quartet” because I miscounted the girls… Sorry! I can’t find it. But anyway, different from A Warm Diana story setting, and you’ll know why later.

Kill me for the slight (?) OCness… I am way too sleepy.

If you wanna jump to romance, jump to the end, but feel the build guys… since I’m bad at this. XD

@croissantrose71

“maybe Diana pays Akko a visit in Japan and Akko is in a kimono or something?? Idk it seems like it’d be pretty gay :3”

Got it ;)

~Shintori Khazumi

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

 It was quiet.

That alone was normal, especially if you consider the fact that Diana Cavendish was sat alone in the library, at her favorite table, indulging herself in a sweet, historical and educationally beneficial novel at just around sunset.

It was quiet.

As it usually was in this time and place, as it should be.

However, the heiress felt it to be… too quiet.

A sigh escaped her lips as she shut the book with a clap. Looking around, it was rather lonely compared to how it usually was during school days-

Ah yes, the reason why she felt as if the whole place was deserted, was probably because it really was, because, as it was announced in the earlier closing ceremony, it was time for vacation period to begin.

Needless to say, there was quite the bustle from all the students, from fussing about how they needed to clean up and pack again, deciding what gifts to bring home, to squealing and/or jumping for joy at the knowledge that they’d finally get more than a weekend of rest from all the training and studying received for a full semester. And that, even for the prodigious student, was honestly an overloading amount of information that most people would forget come professionalism.

As she returned the book to its proper spot on one of the many shelves lining the old room, she remembered that she too had to pack up, though she wouldn’t be going home any time soon.

The Cavendish home was undergoing renovation due to the sudden influx of money- support handed by other Cavendish relatives that had previously been too ashamed to show their names after their downfall, but after a rather useful discovery by Diana’s now sincere aunt, there was no trouble on their pathway to rebuilding.

Now, in an empty hallway of a relatively empty school building, Diana made use of the fact that there was no one there to watch or keep their eyes on her.

This meant a chance.

And, not to mention, this had been something she had always wanted to try. Try, after seeing a certain brunette always performing such during the class in-betweens when they’d have to switch lecture halls for the next lesson, or maybe during the times she secretly “supervised” the girl’s cleaning penalties. (It would always put a scowl on her face whenever she thought of how the dunce had to clean an entire hallway, with windows.)

Doing one more check, just to ensure she was truly alone, Diana began her attempt with the smallest of steps, steadily growing larger, the gaps between the time of the steps, smaller as bit by bit she ran the lengthy halls of Luna Nova Academy with sheer abandon, a smile slowly creeping on her face as her speed remained consistent, her hair flying behind her in waves.

It was overly fun!

A word Diana rarely used in her dictionary. One that could only be brought out by whom it was associated.

And by no means were these thoughts brought on by her missing the witch… They could never- maybe… just be because of-

Kagari Atsuko.

Just the thought of the girl, and the other free things she had done in these same corridors made Diana want to try it for herself, the look of utter joy on Akko’s face, she too longed to feel such.

After completing the seven words and completing their mission, the two had bonded a bit, but due to certain circumstances, they were no able to see each other before Akko went off. Something that made Diana sad.

Doing these things just to soothe her own loneliness was a foreign thing to her, as well as thinking of someone else whilst doing such things.

Still, experiencing so many new adventures, feelings, emotions with Akko unlocked a desire in Diana.

Thus, as much as it killed her to find an explanation if by chance she were to be caught, it was too worthwhile, these emotions, dancing, flittering in her chest as she too, waltz the entirety of the hall.

What was meant to be her private dance session, had unintentionally turned into a rather graceful display to a quartet of onlookers.

The pair of the four were teammates of someone she knew all too well, one was her favorite bickering partner, and the last was a respected instructor.

“Ehem…” Said instructor cleared her throat, traces of nervousness wafting off her very being.

Diana froze in her spot mid-twirl, making quite the comical sight as she slowly righted herself, looking as though nothing had just occurred.

“I-I am sorry to…interrupt? But… horsing about in the hallway is prohibited, even for you, Diana.” The woman smiled sheepishly, Diana immediately coloring at the words, her image having a small stain.

“O-of course. I sincerely apologize.” She bowed slightly, before tuning into her professional mode. “And might I ask, did you have some business with me ma’am?”

“Yes, I do. Professor Finneran actually wanted to tell you, but she had to go home, so I, still being here volunteered to do so.” She scratched her head, coughing as she straightened her posture at Diana whose face just said, ‘go on.’. “You have been here for two weeks since vacation started, three having just started. Aren’t you going home?”

At the inquiry, Diana felt a bit guilty. Maybe the staff of the school had also wanted some form of vacation and she was intruding.

“Do I need to go? Umm… to tell you the truth, I cannot really return home due to reasons such as being told not to because we have been undergoing renovations.”

Anna, her maid had personally sent her a letter of apology, and order, about half a week ago asking her to not come home and strain herself with worrying over such matters, and had received enough money to look for somewhere to stay for at least a week, before she could return home.

Diana usually had duties to finish at school, thus the household was used to her returning late for vacation. Though now, her homecoming would have to be pushed back even further.

She wanted to help, yes, but she also knew that she just might become a bother, not knowing what to do, thus she relented, and was now spending her days in the dorm.

“I see.” Ursula nodded in understanding, albeit very concerned about Diana. “That is certainly a problem.”

The headmistress had wanted to close the school and do maintenance this break, and was hoping all the students had gone home, but Diana had left her standing corrected. Ursula explained this, and felt horrible, seeing Diana hang her head, deep in thought and trouble.

“I wish I could offer you some sort of place to stay, but as of now, my home is… kind of inhabited by the creature of the cross who just won’t leave me be…and has taken my bird hostage if I don’t let her stay…” She muttered something under her breath. “-That, and we had a little spat.”

An awkward silence resumed as each person had their own imagination containing a ramen-loving techno nerd.

“So even Diana Cavendish can dance the halls.” A comment sliced through the air, making Diana inwardly curse at it because she had just forgotten that fact.

“Sucy!” Her partner exclaimed, completely mortified at the girl’s amazing bluntness.

Only now did it register in the heiress mind that there were other people here, and for some reason, every single one of them were dressed in travel attire and carried a questionable amount of luggage for people about to go home, too little for a person going back home, if they intended to take their luggage themselves instead of via delivery, but too large to just be for personal necessities for on-hand use.

“Are you all about to go on some trip? I was under the impression that Miss Manbavaran and Miss Yanson had gone home, and that Miss-“

“Amanda, please.”

“… really?” Diana sighed, continuing her speculations. “Fine, Amanda was taken home earlier due to family issues?” Said girl scoffed at the implications.

“Well, we have gone home already.” Lotte replied, fidgeting the slightest bit. “But then Akko sent out invites to us to join her for some local inn’s promo near their place.” The girl smiled, showing what looked to be a plane ticket, and a reservation form.

Akko? Invites? She hadn’t heard from the girl at all considering it was a vacation and there was free time. Of course, now she remembered that there was probably no way of communicating wherever Akko was, with her. She could consider that fact, albeit feeling down.

Diana seemed to be in thought before looking over each invited person, stopping at a certain red-haired student.

“Amanda, as well?” She asked innocently. Deep inside though, she felt sad. If even Amanda received one, why hadn’t she?

“Oi! What the heck’s that supposed to mean, eh?” Obviously, the person in question retaliated and their bickering was about to start all over again.

“Oh, I apologize. That must have come off as rude.” Diana looked sorry, and the rest were left to think if she felt the part. “I just sometimes forget that you and Akko are actually friends.”

“Biased little bi-“

“ANYWAY!” Ursula quickly cut in. “There were actually five tickets, but Jasminka and Constanze can’t make it on the set date, and said they’d have to just follow later, whenever they’re free.” The woman diverted the subject back to their trip.

Jasna had to return to make it to a cooking festival that was about to take place, and Constanze was attending a builder’s conference.

“Originally, I wasn’t part of the guests, but Akko agreed to me tagging along… and since she has impeccable timing, this chance helps in my-“ She seemed to be thinking deeply, searching for the right word. “Situation?”

“Lovers’ Quarrel.” Sucy chuckled, rolling her eyes and avoiding the deathly sweet smile from her teacher.

“We will talk soon, Manbavaran.”

“Whenever you’re ready.” The girl replied fearlessly, grinning. The smile was wiped off her face as Lotte slapped the back of her head.

It was awkward now again, no one uttered a word, and they did not exactly have anything in common to chat about.

Suddenly, Ursula remembered why she had approached Diana in the first place.

“Right! Diana, I’m so sorry I forgot.” She placed her suitcase down for a moment. “What are we going to do about your situation.” It was apparent that they had not thought much of this, and now Ursula was slowly giving in to her panic. “It’s not possible for you to stay here, oh but where else? And I’m worried about having a student sleep anywhere randomly, no offense.” She hinted at Diana’s capabilities, the blonde nodding.

With their professor wracking her brains for some far-off solution, Lotte had raised her hand to grab their attention.

“Umm… we do have an extra ticket?” She asked nervously. Akko would more or less be okay if they took Diana, she was a kind person, just really driven and misunderstood. And she doubted Akko would mind having Diana of all people go see her, seeing as she stared at the girl most every day. Things were fine on that front.

But Lotte also needed Diana’s consent and their teacher’s approval to the plan.

“Right. That’s a solution.” Sucy said, mindlessly brewing another potion with her materials on hand, portable station and all.

“HAH?! Think about it, guys… even if it were ‘okay’ with Akko, think about us! We’ll also be staying with her.” Amanda objected to the idea.

“That is… actually the most ideal plan.” Ursula hummed, and Sucy showed Amanda a three-one with her fingers, telling the girl she was defeated.

“A-amanda is right!” Diana piped up after standing there dumbfounded as the group discussed her lodgings. “I can’t just intrude on you all- besides, I have the means to stay in some apartment nearby in this town. I’ll be perfectly-“

“No, Diana. This way is safer.” Ursula took hold of the students wrists. “And not to mention, more fun. Isn’t that right?”

So the woman had heard her. Curses.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

 It didn’t make her any more comfortable travelling by plane than by broom. Maybe she just wasn’t used to flying without having to exert any amount of magical energy and just lounge and relax.

It didn’t help that it had cost her no penny to enjoy such luxury.

A first class seating in a plane.

Guilt stirred in her abdomen… and hunger in her stomach, as she was too shocked at the fast-paced happenings that hit her like a truck mere moments ago.

“Would you like one, Diana?”

The heiress looked to her fellow blonde, holding out a sandwich after she had pulled the other out of her thoughts.

“You know, there is food service, and it will all be covered by the Kagaris, but we all feel as you do.” She pointed to the rest who were snacking on the sandwiches and on some tea. “We don’t want to take advantage of Akko’s kindness, either. Hahaha… weird, huh? Even with such a privelage.”

“No,” Diana shook her head, a small smile coming to rest on her lips. “I think I can relate quite well to everyone when it comes to these things.” It made her remember the reason behind why she hadn’t gone home. As to not unknowingly become a burden.

Looking at the giggling, the interactions, the smiles, Diana couldn’t help but relish the atmosphere as well, the calm ambiance.

“I can really relate.”

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

 “Is this what they call jetlag? Now I know brooms really are the best.” Amanda grumbled as she returned from the comfort rooms to empty out her churning stomach.

The rest more or less agreed, none of them really being used to such things, not really needing to since they had magic and flying for a while.

“So now what?” Sucy asked, reading through a pamphlet she picked up from somewhere, reading about this mysterious place known as Japan. “What did Akko say about us getting to their place?”

“She said someone would come to pick us up.”

Speak of the devil, and he shall hear. Quite the common phrase, usually shortened.

“Ah.” Everyone turned to the poison enthusiast, pointing off to a buff man, in a suit with sunglasses, looking like a bodyguard, holding up a sign that had their names written out in quite the charming calligraphy. Except the last-minute guest, Diana.

“I guess that’s our cue. Shall we?” Ursula asked, but for some reason, the girls had a feeling of fear, just from how the man looked. “N-now, don’t judge a book by its cover.” The teacher tried to quote, though even she had to admit that their welcoming party was quite intimidating.

“What in the world is Akko?” Amanda mused, thinking of how this felt so familiar to how she usually went home, just less… familiar.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

 Professor Callistis was right about one thing, and that was to not judge a book by its cover.

The man who picked them up led them to a black van, and the girls still had slight feelings of trepidation that were too slowly easing, until they had all settled in and the man tuned the radio to some catchy tunes that everyone enjoyed.

His name was Ryuunosuke. He wasn’t a chatty man, but he was responsive to any question and conversation, or topic that the girls would bring up.

All except things pertaining to… Akko. Which was odd, if by chance he did work for them since Diana had never pegged Akko to be the type to not socialize with her own workers- whatever Kagari Atsuko’s social standing was to have said workers.

“We have arrived, Young Miss’s distinguished guests.”

‘Young Miss?’

In front of them stood a fairly old, but not run-down, traditional-looking building. It was large, stretching for a few acres most probably- the size large enough for it to be pension house of sorts.

The passengers had to get off as Ryuunosuke rounded the car to a parking shed over at the side, the girls being entrusted to someone, a lady in her middle ages, dressed in a beautiful cloth, that she explained was their uniform around here, as they climbed about a dozen steps before reaching the entry way.

A placard, made in wood carving, intricate and pleasing to the eye, had the words ‘Hikari no Jukyo’. Ursula-sensei explained to the girls that it meant “The dwelling place of light.” In Japanese, which left Diana especially impressed.

Just what was this place, and how much had the Kagaris paid for lodging here. Wait- what was the invite for? A get-together? Some meeting in this… whatever place this was? And why hadn’t Akko come to pick-up or even meet them here? Where was the girl?

“Irasshaimase. Hikari no Jukyo ni Yokoso, houmon-sha.” A man, well groomed, standing at roughly five inches taller than Ursula, in a suit, bowed, welcoming them to the Inn.

“Umm…”

Suddenly, his stiff formalities turned into chuckles as he laughed, realizing they did not look the part of mere, local guests.

The fact that this man loosened up somewhat allowed the foreigners to also relax, chuckling along.

“I really do apologize.” He spoke, in english now, though with a bit of an accent that did not hinder his communication skills in the slightest. “I wasn’t paying much attention. It’s been quite the busy day. We’ve been preparing for some very special guests and I’m assuming those would be you?” He smiled, in inquiry, showing them a sample of the invitations they all had, and they showed theirs in turn for confirmation.

The man nodded, clapping as more service people came out, offering their hands in service, taking the luggage and walking behind the group as the man lead the whole party.

“Right this way please.” He lead them up a few stair cases, to what was probably the third floor, and led them down an expensive looking hall, right to the end where a few doors had been marked reserved with more signs.

As the door opened, the visitors gasped in awe at the sight.

Sliding doors were opened slightly allowing them a gorgeous view of a hidden ocean just around the back of the building. The room was a spacious place, and there seemed to be a few doors on both sides, maybe smaller sleeping rooms since what they first entered was a lounge space, tatami spread across the floors.

There was a lovely gust of wind blowing through the open room, giving it a refreshing feeling, but it did not smell of salt water at all. A sweet fragrance- one from eye-catching and vibrant flowers displayed throughout the room served a soothing purpose.

There was too much beauty compacted into this space of the world and it was a feast for the eyes.

However, all of them would agree that there was none quite as alluring as the lady knelt by the center table, arranging another bouquet of fresh flowers, draped in exquisite wear, a robe of sorts filled with flourishing colors, the color of autumn and of the sunset, accenting her hazel, gleaming hair tied in a loose bun, few strands framing her face, and making those russet-tinted orbs pop out.

None was as arresting as the lady dressed delicately, hands moving with grace that had yet to notice her guests that were gazing upon her so intently that it took them moments to realize, or rather for Lotte to realize what would stun them more than the beauty.

“Akko?!”

-Who the beauty was.

“EH?!” The rest of them had to do a double-take as the servants jumped in surprise at their outburst.

“Is that really you, Akko?” The short-haired blonde screeched, scrambling forward, placing her palms on the girl’s face, scrutinizing her so closely, face scrunched up. “Wow.” She exclaimed after confirming that it was indeed her best friend. “You… just wow.”

“Indeed the Young Miss is stunning.” One steward said proudly, the other escorts agreeing.

The rest of the group were just as speechless, Sucy’s visible eye widened so much, Amanda gaping like a fish, and Ursula just… standing there.

Diana was thinking that she must have looked like some fool, staring in awe, and she might have been just that, as fools weren’t exactly capable of thinking coherently when stunted with such beauty. She’d be a fool for such a sight.

“So you guys arrived, huh.” Akko got up and scratched the back of her head with a sigh. “Sorry ‘bout… this.” She gestured to her attire. “It’s unusual right? For me to wear such things… Ahahaha.” She looked at her feet, insecurity seeping into her voice. “Wearing such clothes even though they don’t suit me.”

“No-“

“No, that’s not true.” Lotte’s words were cut off by someone who had similar, but stronger feelings. “You look absolutely breath-taking.” The heiress had said without thinking, but when it all registered, how she had just blurted out what she did, steam seemed to come off her as she burned red.

“Diana?!” Akko was shocked. She hadn’t expected this at all, or did she? -and well, she wasn’t really opposed to the idea of Diana being here, but the girl seeing her like this...

“Ah.” Lotte slapped her forehead. “I’m sorry, I forgot to call!”

After Ursula had explained the situation to Akko, the girl had assured her teacher and classmates that there was no problem and that it was quite alright for her and the inn. The rest of the servants had gone back to their duties, including that manager they all had met in the entryway of the inn.

“Inn? This is what this place is?” Amanda commented after they had changed into robes laid out for them, the management telling them it was for guests to wear.

“It’s a ryoukan. Yes, an Inn. Did you guys really not know that?” Akko replied, not looking as she helped Lotte tie her sash, after assisting Amanda.

“Akko… Inns don’t look this extravagant from where we come from.” Diana pointed out, Akko not knowing how one looked like, but the rest only nodded. “And I’m fairly certain the customer service here would be overboard for other countries. This kind of service doesn’t happen other places like having people serve you tea for a few hours.”

“I do admit, it’s quite lovely, being treated like this.” Ursula commented, completely relaxed.

“Well, if you all are done changing, would you like to check out the hot springs at the back? Or do you prefer checking out the lounge. We have table tennis tables set up.” Akko gestured towards the halls, posture straight, but humble, as if a servant.

“Akko…” Sucy uttered. “Are you actually an attendant here?”

“You only noticed now?” She asked, confused, but not offended.

“But then, there’s also this ‘Young Miss’ stuff.” Amanda commented, a blush erupting on Akko’s features.

“That- that is…”

“Are your guests finished with their changing, Atsuko?” A knock came from the door as Akko replied with an affirmative. “Oh, I’ll be coming in, dear.”

‘Dear?’ All of them thought at once, a blonde prodigy more skeptical than the rest, though her features remained frozen in indifference, not betraying the storm of emotions inside her.

“Sure, go ahead.”

The manager from before entered, now dressed in what Akko explained was the male version of traditional clothes, also telling them about her own wardrobe, a traditional Japanese kimono, Lotte and Ursula admiring the fine silk.

“I believe I forgot to introduce myself.” The man knelt, before bowing down formally and got back up. “My name is Kagari Kentarou. You may call me Ken, or Kento. Whichever you prefer.” He smiled innocently before letting a bomb drop. “I am Kagari Atsuko-sama’s husband as she is my young wife.”

“…”

“Wha-!“

“Dad! Don’t screw around with my friends!” Akko immediately denied the claim, giving her father a hard slap to the side. “I’m so sorry.” She prostrated herself in a formal form of apology.

“That’s my girl, really keeping at those manners.” The man laughed heartily. “Yes, I’m her father.”

“And here we thought he was just some manager.”

Ursula immediately knelt near Akko. “It- It’s fine dear. WE were just a bit… taken back.” She said, suddenly feeling queasy as the information swirled in her head.

“That is the understatement of the century.” Sucy  chuckled, recovering before the rest.

Lotte and Amanda sighed in relief, but Diana was still stuck in a daze, thoughts running in her head.

“Diana?” Akko looked up to see her classmate. “Oh come on, dad!”

After reassuring Diana that everything was just a playful jest on Mr. Kagari’s part, she seemed to have regained her composure, and now resumed her usual countenance, formally bowing as well, introducing herself.

“Diana Cavendish of the Cavendish lineage. We are a medically focused group of witches.” She explained. “I have been given the pleasure of being in the same class as your daughter.” She gave a polite smile, now knowing that this man was related to Akko and wanting to make an impression, for who knows what reason.

“Lotte Yanson. My family runs a magic shop.” The bespectacled girl went on about talking about her hometown and such things, also showing her skill in summoning and communicating with spirits.

“Oooohhh.” Akko’s father clapped, impressed.

“Sucy Manbavaran.” The girl bowed and left it at that.

“Sucy!” Lotte scolded once more, but the man assured it was fine and that they’d get to know one another these coming days.

“Amanda O’Neill.” She scratched her cheek, not exactly used to such things, and since everyone had just started to introduce themselves, she decided to go with the flow.

“O’Neill, huh.” Kentarou scratched his chin, deep in thought, as if recalling something. “By chance are you related to Adam O’Neill of Adamson enterprises?”

“…Yes.” The redhead was surprised that someone knew her father. “My dad.”

“Oh… that’s why. You look just like him.” The man gave her a clap on the shoulder, and the girl scowled.

“I did not just hear that.”

“You don’t get along?” Ken was surprised at the chill in the girl’s voice. Was this what his friend meant by his daughter going to some boarding school?

“Well that, and I doubt any teenage girl wants to be told they look like some old fart.” Amanda shrugged, any form of hostility dissipated immediately. “Surprised you know him.”

“Oh, business partners.”

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

The Luna Nova group had decided on touring the whole inn first before indulging in all its facilities, Akko happily volunteering to be their guide.

Idle chatter went about the afternoon as they walked hall after hall, every once in a while Akko would point out things and rooms, explaining its history or use.

One question continued to tickle at Diana’s brain, teasing her to no end and now she was just to curious.

“Akko, if I may…” She began, nervous all of sudden. “Where’s your mother?”

The chatterbox of a girl immediately turned somber.

“Speaking of which, we have yet to meet her.” Ursula also turned her inquiry to the girl, looking for an answer from the hesitant frame.

“Oh… my mom.” She chuckled, uneasily. “She was… she was sick and in the hospital for a while, actually… and-and now she’s… resting, right now.” She tried to tell them.

Diana felt horrible. Utterly horrible for bringing up the subject, as well as the fact that she could relate to how it felt as well.

“I… I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah, wish you could’ve met her earlier.” Akko smiled, the smile not quite reaching her eyes. “Maybe if we called for her-“

“Akko that’s taboo remember!” Lotte exclaimed, remembering the last time they had done a resurrection.

“Well, we’ll see her soon again, in a few moments time… it’ll be over in a flash.” Akko’s father patted the girl on the back, speaking to the guests.

“What-“

“You’ll meet her soon enough. When she’s reincarnated.”

The statement made Akko shoot up, eyes wide, as if in shock like the rest of them.

“Wait, what? Dad? Oh my gosh, no- guys! I didn’t mean it like that.” She slapped her forehead, wondering when she had started this misleading impression of her beloved mother. “I’m so sorry. DAD! WHY?” She hit him again as he began his boisterous laughing.

“It was just too- and I thought you were- ahahaha!”

“Dad! I was just worried about her since she was weak this morning.” She apologized again to her friends, explaining to the stupefied group. ”My mom is literally resting in the other room since she just got well.”

“Oh. Oh! OH… for a second there.”

“Yeah.” Akko sighed, shaking her head at her own father’s antics. “Would you like to go meet her?” The question seemed to be more directed to Diana then any of the others.

“I would love to.” She replied for everyone.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

 At the very far back of the inn, there was an extension, a small gate actually being there followed by sturdy wooden doors.

Akko unlatched the gate and led everyone inside, her dad having to return to his duties.

They currently stood in front of an intricately painted sliding door, again, the fragrance of flowers came floating out of the room.

“Mother? It’s me. Akko.” The brunette called out, waiting patiently for a response.

After a few seconds, a soft voice beckoned them in, and they noticed their host literally glowing, eyes filled with love and the door had yet to open.

“Hi mom.” She greeted as the door slid open, going to her mother’s side straight away and sitting by as the woman stroked her face.

“Hi sweetie.”

Diana was certain she could deduce where Akko had inherited such looks from, now gazing upon her crush’s (?!) mother. It was like looking at twins, only one looked much more mature. Still, both had this inexplicable beauty, inside and out.

That was saying something since Diana had yet to know Akko’s mother, but somehow she could just feel the kindness of her heart by how she looked at them all.

“You must be Diana.” She giggled, a pleasant sound. Diana perked up a bit, surprised the woman could tell. “Akko talks so much about you in letters, mentioning this and that… sometimes rude things,” She gave a stern, yet loving glance at her daughter who looked sheepish. “But it all ends in this… emotion.” She winked teasingly, her daughter turning the color of beets once more.

“Mom! You didn’t need to say that.” She whined, not being able to meet Diana’s gaze, each time she’d sneak a peak, both of them would turn their heads away.

“And you are Lotte, Sucy and Amanda.” She smiled at the dear friends of her child. “Thank you so much for befriending this girl. She can be a handful.”

“I can vouch for that.”

“Sucy!”

“Akko’s great, it’s all good.”

A certain teacher felt butterflies in her stomach. Somehow she felt both a gentleness and intimidating feeling from seeing the real deal mother of her precious student.

“Professor Ursula.”

“Yes?!”

“Akko has told me so many things about you.” Many things? Hopefully not about her being Char- “And you’ve always given her that gleam in her eyes, ever since she was young.”

The statement confused three of the rooms occupants, and surprised the rest. Akko shook her head at Ursula, telling her she hadn’t spoken a word of it.

“Your eyes speak everything.” The woman said vaguely. “Thank you.” And Chariot knew it meant many things, making her nearly tear up.

“Oh my! Where are my manners. I am Kagari Akiko, Kagari Atsuko’s mother.” She held her hand out for all to shake. “Don’t hesitate to just call me Akiko, Aki if you’d dare.”

The guests shook their heads.

“Well then, have you seen the entire place?” She inquired in a friendly manner.

“Yes, the place is both exquisite and impressive. The history is quite the tale.” Diana replied.

“Well, I’m glad you think so.” She looked at her daughter, the younger version giving her a questioning gaze.

“What is it? Do you need anything mom?”

“What do you think about how my child looks? To me, she is beautiful. I’m so happy she wore the kimono I chose specifically for her. She rarely does, this child, except for occasions or work.” Akiko turned her attention back to the quartet who were thrown off pace.

“Mom, what’s this all of a sudden?”

“Dear, you should really control how often you blush. You might lose blood.” The woman said in faux-concern. “So, what do you think, Diana?”

“Mom?!”

“What?”

Diana may have been just as equally shocked as her counterpart, ears red as her gems for eyes. If no reasonable or coherent thought would formulate for her if she thought on it, she’d just have to speak honestly.

“She is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in this whole place filled with extravagant objects.”

Lotte’s mouth was a perfect ‘O’, Sucy and Amanda snickering, knowing to some extent at the rivals’ blossoming feelings, no matter how secretive they tried to be towards each other. To the outside watchers, it was too painfully obvious.

Even Hannah and Barbara were trying to subtly hint to Diana helpful methods to getting with Akko as they were tired of seeing her look like a puppy, waiting so patiently without the power to do anything.

Ursula just smiled, excited for whatever was to happen on this trip.

“Good answer.” The woman clapped.

More conversation later and Akko felt her phone buzz in her pocket. The time was getting late, and she had a request.

“Oh no. Mom, I’m so sorry. I have to go help with dinner.” Akko clapped her hands in front of her before hugging her mother tight. “I really wanted to stay with you longer in case you needed anything, but-“

“It’s alright with me.” She reassured. “But what about your guests?”

“Oh, right. Guys, do you want to stay here and chat some more, or should I lead you back to your room if you want to do other things.” She asked them, fidgeting as she was in a rush.

“Well, I guess I wanna check out those baths.” Amanda shrugged, Lotte and Sucy wanting to tag along. Ursula said she had some paperwork she brought with her and would do that in the room. Diana was-

“Oh, I have an idea. Akko-chan?”

“Y-yes mom?” Akko flinched at the way she was addressed and the tone of voice. Her mother was scheming something again.

“In compensation since you are going to leave your poor, sick mother alone,” Akko felt a stab each time. “I will be taking Diana-chan to stay with me and keep me company!”

“Diana-chan?”

“How’s that sound?” The woman asked a bewildered heiress, who nodded dumbly at Akko’s somewhat sorry, yet pleading look. She could not deny it.

With a sigh, she replied, “It would be my pleasure.”

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

 “Akko has gone to help the cooks again. Really, that girl. Even though we taught her to help out, she’s overdoing it.” The mother complained to Diana, though the blonde could tell it was all in good taste, hints of love always in her tone.

She remembered the home economics classes that Akko always seemed to pass with flying colors. It was a good change of pace from her usual grades.

“What do you think of my daughter?”

“Huh?”

Again, this woman had these sudden changes in pace, so difficult to follow.

“My daughter… how do you see her?” The woman seemed serious. “She can be a ditz, clumsy at times, but she’s so persistent, almost to the point of stupidity. And even after- well… I’d rather not say, she’s still cheerful, bubbly and all that. Always moving forward.”

Diana could envision the worries and thoughts of the mother. The sorrow in her voice as she was recalling things that Diana may or may not know.

“She’s amazing, is what I think.” Akiko admitted. “And I respect her… and she’s my daughter, can you believe that? Looking up to her as an example.” She chuckled, running a hand through those similar brunette strands.

“I… I agree!” Diana said. “She is idiotic at times, but she has great potential. She is actually smart. She learned the fish language in a day…. Though by unconventional means.” Diana whispered the last part out loud. “But she is driven and passionate and… sometimes…” Her voice grew soft. Almost hurt as she remembered things she’d rather not. She couldn’t bring herself to tell them.

“Diana?” The girl felt her hands being taken. “Please tell me more.” Ruby eyes pleaded. “I want to know what happened with my daughter. The hurt she refuses to share. I want to know what happened when I wasn’t there.” She asked, squeezing tighter. “She seems changed… like she’s grown up without me.”

Diana wanted to respond to the neediness, to the uncertainty of this kind woman.

“Akko is… sometimes… Akko is the most positive and optimistic girl, always trying hard no matter how many times she fails, no matter how many threats of expulsion she receives,” Both women giggled at that part. “Even if she gets teased or bullied, she doesn’t mind those and chooses to move forward.”

“Ah, yes. I can imagine.” Akiko smiled, but also felt sadness. “But that’s from the outsider’s perspective.”

“Diana nodded in agreement. “In truth… Akko can get hurt. She can get depressed, feel betrayed… cry.” Something Diana never wanted to see ever again. Seeing it once was like having a knife driven through your heart. Someone so happy, now so broken. “So Maybe she has changed… or maybe she hasn’t and has always been that way, no one can understand her true personality.”

“I know.” The older version of Akko spoke, a few tears slipping. “And yet she refuses to worry me. Just because I’m a little sick.” She laughed humorless. “I just need her to depend on me a bit. I want to be a form of support.” Akiko said. “Thank you for telling me Diana.”

The blonde stared. She felt as if she understood Akko’s reasons, but also could get why the girl’s mother wanted Akko’s dependence. She could understand both because she knew what both feelings were. And all of them were centered on concern. And this was what she knew of as a product of love.

“Diana… let me ask again.” Her attention was taken back to the beautiful lady in bed. “What do you think of Akko?”

“I…” Should she really be saying this to Akko’s mother of all people? Nevertheless, she felt pressed to speak her true intentions and feelings. “I like her. I like Akko, your daughter ma’am.” She looked straight into those familiar pools. “I want to protect her because I care for her.”

There took a while for response, but Diana’s mind still ran.

“I say all this because… we didn’t really get along at the start, but gradually she left an impression on me… I could never stop worrying about her. Then her passion took me in… her pains were similar to mine… I just… Ma’am, I can’t believe I’m telling you this but,” She braced herself, heart pounding loudly in her ears. “Not as a friend ma’am, but as in… romantically… I might be-“

She found herself speaking more formally, it was silly, but to her it was some matter of life and death.

“I love Kagari Atsuko.”

“…”

If a heart could physically smash into a thousand pieces, shatter like glass, the young Cavendish was sure hers already had. No response. A serious face, piece it together… she may have gotten herself in deep trouble.

“Was that a proposal already?”

“Eh… HUH? No… NO! Not that I haven’t considered such thoughts, wait that’s going too fast, isn’t it… what? What am I even say-thinking?!” Diana had been thrown into a frenzy and was only calmed by the tinkling laughter she had heard from before.

“I’m… I apologize dear. It was so fun watching you and Akko, but the tension between you two is just incredible! How can two people be so dense?” She laughed more, unconsciously revealing her own daughter’s feelings to Diana who was now thinking.

‘Does Akko think the same?!’

“Anyway, My last question then I’m releasing you from this old lady’s prison.” She smiled more gently, caring, and lovingly. “I’ve heard you lost your mother?”

“Ah… yes.” Diana nodded, a bit melancholic.

“I see. Sorry to bring up sad memories.”

“It’s alright. She was a wonderful person and I love her so much, she gave me too much.” Diana reminisced.

“I can imagine, with how you’ve grown into such a lovely darling.” She took Diana’s hand. “What do you think about becoming my daughter?”

“…what..?”

“Oh, no… I don’t mean it that way. I have no intention of taking you away from the family and home you love. Daughter-in-law?” She teased again, and the implications instantly brought warmth to Diana’s heart, and cheeks.

“I guess… I wouldn’t be opposed? M-mother…” The woman squealed so loud, Diana thought the entire neighborhood heard them.

She admitted it was nice, however, being hugged tenderly, in the arms of an older woman, one that she just might really call her ‘mother’.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

  “Father, mom told me you have all the yukatas she chose for the guests?”

The girls were approached during supper time as they reveled in the marvelous culinary skills Akko held, and were told by the manager that the following eve, there would be a summer festival, and if they cared to attend, Akiko had offered to lend them beautiful robes for the occasion.

Excited to experience such traditions that they might not be able to again, everyone was on board with the idea.

Now Akko needed the materials from her father who had custody of them.

“Why Father? You usually call me dad.” The man pouted. “And yes, I gathered them from her as you were finishing dinner.” He responded, pulling into the lounge area of the room a rack, an assortment of robes and belts displayed.

“If I wasn’t so annoyed, maybe I’d call you dad again.” Akko told him, not looking at him at all.

“Annoyed? Why are you annoyed?” Kento cried.

“You pulled a lot of insensitive jokes, you know. I’m not forgiving you until you repent for your sins.”

“Not even if I give you extra allowance for the festival?” He tempted his daughter who gulped at the offer. It was too tempting.

“Deal… dad.”

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

“Tell me if you need anything more. Well, then. Good night everyone.” Akko told her guests as she bowed, ready to shut the door to their suite of sorts. She was ready to hit the hay already, tired from working around the inn as well as being a good host/escort to her friends.

The rest had nodded in response, but Diana seemed hesitant, something Akko noticed.

“Do you still want something, Diana? I could get it for you now, if you’d like?”

“I… I was just wondering about where you’d be sleeping?”

Akko cocked her head to the side. Diana was acting a bit odd. More meek and hesitant, not confident and boastful, though the last part was no more, Akko thought, as now that they knew each other better and were closer, the blonde seemed to have grown softer.

“I’ll be sleeping in my own room.” Akko replied after a while.

“Oh.”

Was Diana disappointed?

“Would you like to go for a walk?”

At the suggestion, the heiress perked up, nodding gracefully as she went to her section of the room and took a jacket.

“I’ll be back.” She told her companions who smiled, shooing the pair off.

As they were finally out of earshot, the teacher and her students let out a breath they didn’t know they were holding from watching the (hopefully) couple’s interactions.

“They should seriously stop dancing around each other.” Amanda clicked her tongue.

“Just be blunt about it.” Sucy added, preparing her evening poison rituals.

“We can’t rush them. I think they only figured out there feelings recently.”

“Diana, yes… Akko’s might still be getting there.” Sucy pointed out.

“You never know, though, right sensei?”

Ursula hummed, considering all this. “I think we’re about to find out.”

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

 It was getting chilly, but the breeze was still refreshing as Akko led Diana by the gardens and around the pond to some large rocks that they used as seats.

“So? What’s troubling you? Not comfortable in our inn?” Akko inquired, slightly worried about the accommodations.

“Huh? Oh, no… there is certainly nothing wrong with your services. They are simply superb.” Diana replied immediately, shaking her head along with her words.

“Then why are you so out of it?” The brunette tilted her head to the side, hair strands previously tucked behind her ear, falling out, framing her face beautifully, and with the help of the moon’s lighting, and the kimono Akko had not changed out of yet, Diana was left again to worship the beauty before her.

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I am distracted, I think.”

“You think?” Akko giggled. “Hey now, where’s the usual Diana Cavendish?”

“She probably disappeared the moment she was stricken by someone’s beauty.” Diana could have slapped herself with that line, Akko blushing madly.

“O-oh? Whose?”

“You know whose.” She decided to push through with it, deciding to not chicken out last second, the acceptance of Akko’s mother giving her a boost.

“I… I’m not quite sure I know, Diana.” The girl looked away, not being able to bear it.

“Then…” Diana stood up, now in front of Akko, holding out a hand. “Would you like me to tell you who it is?”

The usual mischievous witch could only obey the beckon, placing her smaller hand in the smooth palm of the person she had so long admired.

“Maybe if you dance with me, I’ll tell you.” Diana gave a wink, pulling Akko up.

“This is so not your character.” Akko covered her face with her free hand, being tugged to her feet and brought near the sparkling waters. “What’s going on?”

“I honestly do not have an answer to that question, as I cannot comprehend my own actions.” Diana grinned, leading their dance, her hand on Akko’s waist, the other holding her partner’s hand.

“Di-Diana… I don’t know how to dance like th-this.”

“I’ll teach you then.” Diana started off, silently counting in whispers. “After all, you taught me a dance as well.” She was referring to that little happening in the hallway, which would only serve to confuse a clueless Akko.

“What are you…”

“Don’t worry about it and just… follow my lead.” Diana whispered in her ear, now humming along with her counting, and Akko could now hear a song playing in the background.

Little by little she relaxed, and not once did they make a misstep, or have to stop, fully enjoying this mood, this atmosphere, their time alone together.

“Why didn’t you send me an invitation?” Diana asked in the middle of twirling Akko. The unexpected topic was indeed, unexpected to Akko.

“What?! I did! You’re the one who didn’t respond… or did you not receive it?” Akko gasped. “It was sent via mail. Maybe it didn’t reach you.” She frowned, now knowing why Diana hadn’t responded to confirm if she would be coming along.

On the other hand, the heiress was pleasantly surprised, and relieved she had gotten it all wrong.

“I see. I guess it just didn’t reach then.” She felt light, happy, pulling Akko just a smidget closer to her, sharing their warmth.

“Um… Diana… this is a bit c-close?”

“Is it?” She knew she was now grinning stupidly, widely, she could feel it in her cheeks, but she did not care. “I don’t mind. Do you?” Another twirl, then pulling Akko back in closer than before.

“I… guess if you’re fine with it, I’ll be… okay.”

“Good.”

Neither knew how much time passed, but it must have been quite a while, the moon now high in the sky when they decided to stop dancing and Akko screeching in panic as she felt Diana’s cold cheek against her palm.

She was set on dragging Diana back to her room and did not release their joined hands, even entwining their fingers now as they hurriedly returned to the room.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

They stood facing one another in front of the room door.

“Ah.” Akko realized something. “I danced with you… so will you tell me… who you thought was beautiful?” Again pink dusted the brunette’s cheeks as she looked away.

“Of course.” Diana giggled, reaching her free hand to cup Akko’s face. “The person I think is the most exquisite in this whole vicinity is none other than the one I’m looking at. And probably will be the only one I ever look at.” They gazed into one another’s eyes, words stuck in their throats.

“I-I… are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Akko wanted it to be so, but… could she place a bet on that hope? “Cause you better not be tricking me or anything. I’m gonna cry Diana. I will cry.” She swallowed, heart picking up the pace.

A kiss was planted on her cheek.

“Akko… tomorrow… walk with me during the festival… beside me, even if we go as a group. Hold my hand and… and smile at me and enjoy it with me… s-so I can bring myself to tell you, okay? I promise… I swear on my good name I will tell you properly. Just… let me gather enough courage. I will not betray your expectations. Wait a bit… just a bit… please.”

The pressure on her hands was strong, Diana’s knuckles a pale white.

“Diana…”

“Yes?”

“Your cheeks were cold earlier.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’ll warm them up.”

“What do you-“

Diana was stunned into silence, the feeling appearing and disappearing so fast, but there was a slight wetness on both her cheeks, and she knew they would indeed lose their cold.

“You better not disappoint me tomorrow. It’s a date!”

A date.

With a lot of people, but nevertheless… a date.

“O-okay… have a good night Akko.” Diana bowed, still in a shocked stupor, head above the clouds. “M-make sure to wash up and drink some water before bed. Don’t catch a cold. Take care of yourself. C-come over to this room if-“

“Good night, Diana.” The way it was stressed, said with so thick a coating of affection quieted her down. It spoke so many things. Thank you. I’ll be alright. Take care as well.

-I love you.

Diana made sure her next words held the same thoughts and amount of emotion to communicate what she could not bring herself to say out loud… yet.

“Good night, Akko.”

I Love you too.

  ~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

Omake:

“Diana… Please stop beaming like that. Your light is scaring away all my inner demons.” Sucy commented as she quirked a brow at the dopey expression that did not belong on the repertoire of Cavendish expressions.

Diana couldn’t care less how she looked right now. She was too happy.

Thus, all she could say was-

“Shut it, Manbavaran.”

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

A/N: I’ll admit… I was blushing near the end while writing, no idea why… Please do repost, reblog etc, like, comment, share with your friends! My Fluffy dianakko healing is needed to conquer the angst of the final eps. For me at least.

Ciao peeps!

~Shintori Khazumi