#and i've been having a great time relearning

[agentromanoffsir]

neocities guide - why you should build your own html website

do you miss the charm of the 90s/00s web where sites had actual personality instead of the same minimalistic theme? are you feeling drained by social media and the constant corporate monopoly of your data and time? do you want to be excited about the internet again? try neocities!!

what is neocities?

neocities is a free hosting website that lets you build your own html website from scratch, with total creative control. in their own words: "we are tired of living in an online world where people are isolated from each other on boring, generic social networks that don't let us truly express ourselves. it's time we took back our personalities from these sterilized, lifeless, monetized, data mined, monitored addiction machines and let our creativity flourish again."

why should I make my own website?

web3 has been overtaken by capitalism & conformity. websites that once were meant to be fun online social spaces now exist solely to steal your data and sell you things. it sucks!! building a personal site is a great way to express yourself and take control of your online experience.

what would I even put on a website?

the best part about making your own site is that you can do literally whatever the hell you want! focus on a specific subject or make it a wild collection of all your interests. share your art! make a shrine for one of your interests! post a picture of every bird you see when you step outside! make a collection of your favorite blinkies! the world is your oyster !! here are some cool example sites to inspire you: recently updated neocities sites | it can be fun to just look through these and browse people's content! space bar | local interstellar dive bar creature feature | halloween & monsters big gulp supreme peanutbuttaz | personal site dragodiluna linwood | personal site patho grove | personal site

getting started: neocities/html guide

sound interesting? here are some guides to help you get started, especially if you aren't familiar with html/css sadgrl.online webmastery | a fantastic resource for getting started with html & web revival. also has a layout builder that you can use to start with in case starting from scratch is too intimidating web design in 4 minutes | good for learning coding basics w3schools | html tutorials templaterr | demo & html for basic web elements eggramen test pages | css page templates to get started with sadgrl background tiles | bg tiles rivendell background tiles | more free bg tiles

fun stuff to add to your site

want your site to be cool? here's some fun stuff that i've found blinkies-cafe | fantastic blinkie maker! (run by @transbro & @graphics-cafe) gificities | internet archive of 90s/00s web gifs internet bumper stickers | web bumper stickers momg | gif gallery 99 gif shop | 3d gifs 123 guestbook | add a guestbook for people to leave messages cbox | add a live chat box moon phases | track the phases of the moon gifypet | a little clickable page pet adopt a shroom | mushroom page pet tamaNOTchi | virtual pet crossword puzzle | daily crossword imood | track your mood neko | cute cat that chases your mouse pollcode | custom poll maker website hit counter | track how many visitors you have

web revival manifestos & communities

also, there's actually a pretty cool community of people out there who want to bring joy back to the web! melonland project | web project/community celebrating individual & joyful online experiences. Also has an online forum melonland intro to web revival | what is web revival? melonking manifesto | status cafe | share your current status nightfall city | online community onio.cafe | leave a message and enjoy the ambiance sadgrl internet manifesto | yesterweb internet manifesto | sadly defunct, still a great resource reclaiming online social spaces | great manifesto on cultivating your online experience

in conclusion

i want everyone to make a neocities site because it's fun af and i love seeing everyone's weird personal sites that they made outside of the control of capitalism :) say hi to me on neocities

EDIT: part 2!!

[thatfaerieprincess]

if one more well meaning relative asks me if i have done any drawing recently i will start screaming and flip a table 🤪🙃

[thebleedingeffect]

Currently completely rewatching Hannibal rn and uhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhh I'm having am extremely normal time rn, very normal, anyway this is my favorite TV show of all time and I love it an unreasonable amount

[whatifitis]

♡ you happened - LN 4 ♡

Summary: Did I just... fall in love with the worst person to fall in love with?! *crashes out in a grocery store*

WC: 2565

CW: fluff, friends or something to lovers, use of swear words ☝, joke about death/banter, also not proofread and I've veen awake for almost 24 hrs and my last sleep was 4 hours long :D

Your whole life, all you ever heard was “Oh the two of you are so cute together!”, “Just wait, you two were meant to be”, “Never say never!”

Everyone, your family, his family, neighbors, even staff at restaurants and cafes you frequented thought it. Spoken as if it was written in the stars that you and Lando Norris were fated. You’re not kidding when you say that both your families have placed bets on when you two would finally end up dating… turns out the person who gets closest to the day will win $1,000. 

At first, it didn’t really bother you. It was quite easy to get on with life and ignore their antics. But as you grew older, it stopped being a little joke or little bits of hope within them. When you started dating your first boyfriend in high school, your family audibly sighed when you introduced them to him. The audible sigh was only the start as well. Soon they were making sly comments about how your boyfriend didn’t have green eyes like Lando or curly hair. 

When your family continued their behavior with the second boy you brought home, you stopped introducing them. 

The pressure didn’t just affect you and your love life. After some time, you and Lando stopped talking. After being inseparable since you were practically born, the two of you were pushed apart because of your families and their incessant need to hope for something truly insane. 

You think it had been about 9 years of no contact before you and Lando had reconnected. And the only reason that you two had found each other again was because you needed a new roommate and Lando was lonely…

It was awkward at first. The two of you had grown up and completely changed as people. The interests and hobbies you once had as children were now nonexistent in your lives today. Everything has changed: your favorite colors, foods, and movies. 

It took quite some time, but now you two know each other better now. Though Lando is rarely in the city where you two live, he’s always home when he’s there. The man never leaves the house and it was quite concerning at first. You wondered if he was deficient in vitamin D. The doctors probably thought he went out less than a vampire. 

The one thing that really helped the two of you to bond, besides having mandatory hangouts at least once a month, was when you had been infected with a cold and had somehow shared it with Lando. The two of you were almost bedridden for a week. To make sure neither of you would need to be sent to the emergency room, camp was set up in the living room. Who knew being cramped together in the same room for a week would make the two of you best friends again. 

Not only did you guys relearn each other's favorite colors and movies, but now you know his favorite video games and what his life is like. Lando also got to learn about what you studied in university and how you once duetted ‘Everyday’ from High School Musical 2 with Phoebe Bridgers at a bar in Manchester. After sharing this information, Lando had mentioned the fact that he had never seen any of the High School Musical movies. Sure his sisters had played it in the house as kids but he never paid any mind to it. Naturally, you forced him to watch all 3 movies and now his favorite song is ‘You Are the Music in Me’, HUMUHUMUNUKUNUKUAPUA’A was a close second though. 

And because you had forced him to watch all the HSM movies, he made you play some video games with him. After some debating, he had decided that the two of you would play ‘It Takes Two’. He claimed it was a great way to “create moral” and “bond” with each other. The only thing you had gathered was that you and Lando would make a terrible team no matter what you two were doing. 

Sports? Someone would break the other's nose by accident. Video games? A controller was going to get broken. 

You had also learned that the both of you liked to taunt and poke fun at each other in a way that would make others concerned. 

-=+=-

“Don’t you think it’s romantic? Dying for each other?” Lando said, leaning his head back to look at you and smiling cheekily. 

“I’d rather kill you myself, thanks.” you say, rolling your eyes and making Lando let out a chuckle. The chuckle then leads to a coughing fit. This in turn made you laugh and now then the both of you were having a coughing fit. 

Through coughs and grasps for air, Lando said “Karma, bitch.”

Some gaslighting from you may have followed after you’d hit Lando in the face with a pillow. 

“Lando, I swear. The pillow just levitated on its own and hit your face.”

-=+=-

You were sitting in the kitchen, working on your laptop when Lando came in and wandered over to the fridge. You watched as he opened the fridge, analyzed its contents for approximately 2 seconds before closing it and turning to look at you, “Heyyyy, y/n.”

Raising an eyebrow at him, you respond “Heyyy, Lan.”

“So, uhm. Do you wanna go to the market with me? I need something for quick meals and snacks and I could use some company.” 

“You could use some company or are you still scared of the pigeons outside the market door?” you question. 

“Hey! Those beasts are out for blood! I swear on my future dog's life, TWO of them came for my head last time I went.” 

“Sure, big man. Whatever helps you sleep at night.” you say as you stand and walk over to pat his shoulder, “You’re driving though. These narrow roads make me wanna swerve into oncoming traffic.”

“Deal.” Lando says as he follows you out the apartment door. 

-=+=-

Lando had already parked the car and the two of you were walking to the doors of the market. You watched Lando try to “sneakily” tiptoe through the market doors, keeping an eye out for any potential threats (pigeons…). 

He was just halfway through the door when a customer in the store had accidentally dropped a box of cereal. Lando tripped and nearly fell before catching himself and trying to brush off the fact that as a grown man, he was terrified of birds. 

“Smooth.” you tease “Smooooth.”

Lando grabs a basket and walks quickly further into the store. Think it's to say he was at least a little embarrassed by what had just happened. By the time you managed to catch up to him, he was already at the opposite end of the store, browsing the tampons.

“Lan?”

“Yeah?” he says as he turns his attention back to you. 

“Is it that time of the month or something?”

“Nah. Just… looking…observing.”

“Right. I’ll just go and grab some crisps.” you say, pointing somewhere behind him. 

“Oh sick! I’ll go with you.” he says, skipping down the aisles. 

As the two of you debated between some of the options of crisps, the song being played in the market had changed and you’re confident that everyone had heard the gasp that escaped Lando’s mouth when he heard the opening notes of ‘You Are the Music in Me’. 

Before you could even register what was happening, Lando had dropped the basket on the floor and grabbed an abandoned whisk off a shelf, using it as a makeshift microphone for his performance. When it was Gabriella’s turn to sing, Lando turned the “microphone” to you, raising an eyebrow in anticipation. 

Reluctantly, you sang your bit, making a smile erupt on Lando’s face. Half-way through the song, Lando was running and jumping up and down the aisle, dancing and lip syncing to the song. 

You couldn’t help but laugh at his antics. You were also laughing at the realization that he was so embarrassed of being startled by cereal that he ran through the store to hide, but now he’s openly performing in the middle of the store, not caring who could be watching and judging. 

God, I’m in love… shit. 

No, no, no, no. This can’t be happening. 

No way you were in love with Lando Norris. You were never going to live this down. Some people in your family will be $1,000 richer. They will comment on this for the rest of your lives. You will have lost. They will have won. This was forever going to be something they would use against you. 

Fuck. 

After a minute, Lando had noticed the sudden change in your emotions. One second, you were laughing and smiling brightly at him and with him. The next, your face had dropped and turned to stone. Did he do something? Were you embarrassed? Of him?

“Hey, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” Lando questioned, concern drawing his features. 

Too embarrassed to be truthful, you tried to think quickly and faked being agitated. 

“Yeah, you happened. Dumbfuck.” you say as you trudge past the man. 

Lando’s heart dropped. What did he do wrong? You’re clearly upset but he wasn’t sure why. He didn’t know how to fix it. 

He watched your back drift away and out the door of the market, standing with his feet planted in one spot, unable to move and chase after you to make sure you were okay. 

-=+=-

What the fuck did I just do? You thought as you leaned against Lando’s car, rubbing your hands down your face in frustration. 

This is insane. How are you in love with him? You mean,  it’s not that there’s anything wrong with Lando and liking him. But why did you have to be in love with him? Why must you be cursed with eternal mocking and teasing from yours and his family? 

And what were you gonna tell him? You were happy one second then mad the next. You almost yelled at him and ended up pushing past him, hitting his shoulder with yours pretty roughly. You crashed out in the middle of a grocery store…

Before you could come up with a game plan on how to explain this to Lando, or atleast come up with a good lie, Lando was already walking to you and unlocking the car. All he did was spare a quick look at you before getting in the car with the groceries. For the split second your eyes met his, you couldn’t decipher how he was feeling or what he was thinking. It was almost as if there was nothing there. 

When you opened the car door and dropped into your seat, he didn’t say a word. He barely paid you any mind. The whole drive back to the apartment was filled with an uncomfortable silence. His eyes trained on the road, never once moving off the road. If you were in the car any longer, you’re sure you would’ve suffocated under the weight of uncertainty. 

-=+=-

You walked into the apartment with Lando carrying the groceries, tailing you. Not only was the car ride spent in eerie quietness, but so was the walk to the apartment from the car. 

You heard as the front door clicked shut, standing by the kitchen counter and fiddling with your hands and tempted to pick at your nails, a bad habit you’ve had for years. 

Lando put the groceries onto the counter and flicked his eyes to your hands for a second “Stop picking at your nails. S’not good for you.”

Thank god. He spoke. So he’s not upset with you?

You watched as the man leaned his hands against the counter before speaking “So, you gonna tell me what’s wrong?” he says calmly. 

“Hm? Nothing’s wrong.” your voice pitched higher than normal. 

“Bullshit.”

“What?”

“I’m not the smartest person but I’m not stupid either, y/n.” 

“I didn’t say you were.” 

“Okay, so tell me what’s wrong. Everything was fine and then all of a sudden your face and mood had dropped. Not only that but you stormed out of the store after telling me that I happened?” he says, trying not to take his frustration out on you. Though you think he should for the way you had behaved. 

“I- I’m fine, Lan.”

“Stop lying. Please. I don’t like lies, especially not from you cause I can tell when you’re lying. You’re a terrible liar.”

Your jaw drops, “Am not!”

“Please. Remember when you ate that last spring roll and you tried to convince me that a squirrel came in through the window and stole it?”

“Okay, well. I see your point.”

“Exactly” he breathes out “So, what’s wrong? Why are you lying to me?”

With a deep breath and a ‘yolo’ you confess “I think I like you.”

“Why do you sound distressed?”

“Because this is distressing.” you rasp. 

“Why?!”

“Lan, you know our families and their incessant need to butt into our lives and force us together. If they found out, I would never live it down. My whole life, I’ve had to fight the allegations. But now?! Now they will forever taunt us with this information. Also I feel the need to point out that some people will be $1,000 richer because of this. Do you really want to give them that? Do you, Lando? Do You?” you ask, furrowing your eyebrows. 

“Well, I mean… would it be that bad?”

“Huh?”

“Well, I think it would be okay? Like, I don’t think it’s a bad idea. And so what if they tease us for this? It just means that they maybe did some voodoo or paid an etsy witch… or we really are meant for eachother.” Lando says, his voice getting softer the more he spoke, as if he was afraid. Afraid of your reaction, what you would say, how you would feel. 

“I- I mean. There’s nothing wrong with it? I guess it’s just unexpected. And things like that make me panic. I think I blew this really out of proportion.” you wince. 

“Ya think?” Lando laughs “You stormed out the market and almost caused a scene.”

“Yeah… I also didn’t get my favorite ice cream and I’ve been craving it for ages.” 

“Oh, well… I actually got it for you. I remember you saying you’d been craving it and wanted to get you some. It was one of the reasons I asked you to come with me to the market. I also ended up getting it cause I thought it would be brownie points for if I had actually done something wrong. I also got brownies… for extra brownie points.” he, totally nonchalantly, winks at you. 

Maybe this won’t be so bad. You’ll be his and he’ll be yours and it will be simple. You truly did feel a lot for him, which was scary. But it’ll be worth it. It will also be worth all the teasing from your families and friends. When you’re with him, you still get butterflies and that in itself makes up for the lost time. And you won’t lie, you’d missed all those years spent apart. Now you’ve got each other and that’s all that matters. From kids to teenagers to adults, everything changed except for one thing, the love you had for the other.

[harleehazbinfics]

Love eat?

Alastor x cannibal servant!reader

Original Concept | Additional Concept

Word count: 1764

A/N: sup im back with more crack, jk. but yeahhh i did a oneshot of that imagine and now we're here. i've channeled my inner crazy and that led me to this oneshot lmao, sorry if it's not up to par but pls enjoooooyyyy!

ps I can't find the artist pls help. chainsaw man falling devil spoiler sorry

“Yuta!” you called your boyfriend from where you sat waiting for him.

“Sorry, I'm late,” he says with an apologetic smile, placing his bag to his side while he sat in front of me.

“No, it's ok! You're doing your best in school. I was the one who asked you to eat with me anyway,” you responded clapping your hands together, appealing cutely to your boyfriend.

“But you're busy with your culinary classes too. I'm sure you're working harder than I am!” He replied, making you smile at how genuine he sounded.

You reached inside your bag and presented 2 lunch boxes in front of him. His eyes widen in anticipation while you opened them, revealing a well plated pork cutlet and a healthy salad in the other lunch box.

“I have! I learnt a few new things during class, and I wanted you to be the first to eat my cooking. I hope you like them!” He smiles at you, flattered that he was the first thing on your mind when you made the meal. He always loved your cooking.

The both of you met when you were first years, he was just roaming the halls familiarizing himself with the school layout when he heard you squealing inside a room and helped you put out a small fire that you accidentally created while you stayed behind in the Economics Room to relearn the basics taught to you that day. So, he stayed with you until the end so that you won't set the whole room on fire this time, and as thanks you gave the meal you completed to him afterwards. As he tasted it, threw it back up when he tasted how salty it was, so you resolved yourself that you'd make a decent meal for him, and that's where your friendship to relationship started.

“Wow! You've really outdone yourself this time!” He yells with stars in his eyes, savoring each bite.

You laughed at him and pushed the salad closer to him, and said, “You can eat all of it. It's all for you!”

“Really? Thanks a lot! It's so great to have you as my girlfriend!”

-=-=-=-

“Yuta?” you asked with wide eyes as you eyed the knife in his hand that was pointed at you.

“I-I can't take it anymore. I don't want to eat any food you make for me anymore, it’s disgusting. I don’t want to eat humans! I hate it, I hate it, I HATE YOU!” He screamed lunging at you.

He pushes the knife to your stomach, a few moments later you feel the metallic taste in your throat, letting the liquid drop from your tongue as you took has face that held great remorse for you. You smiled at the pretty expression on his face and rubbed your thumb on his cheeks, smearing it with your own blood.

"How pretty. I love all the expressions you make. Do it more," you coughed out.

His expression changes from fear to disgust and anger. Vengefully, he takes your wrists binding them together in his forceful grip and continues to stab you until you died from the pain and blood loss. However, despite your body tensing and losing color on you face, he never stopped. After his knife slipped out of his hands from your blood, he threw himself at you and bit into your neck.

Devouring you. Bit by bit.

---

You've been aimlessly roaming around hell and chopping sinners with your cleaver that were dumb enough to pick a fight with you. At the moment, you sat on top of a building waiting for something to happen while eating an beefy arm starting from the shoulder.

While you were gnawing at it with a blank expression on your face. You were surprised when a massive green explosion appeared out of nowhere, inducing a few screams of terror.

Just a couple blocks in front of you, you see a giant red deer demon with black tentacles coming out his back as he crushed sinners in his hands and consuming them.

You immediately dropped the arm you were holding and watched as the overlord showed off his power against you, sinners. Unable to hold yourself, you followed his parade of chaos and squeaked when he appears behind you wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"How rude of you to follow me around, while I was playing with my meal," he remarks with a snarky tone.

You got distracted with his voice. How could someone be so seductive with a radio filter on, you ask yourself.

"It's also rude to stare, you know?" He adds, starting to get pissed off by how unresponsive you were as you just kept gawking at him.

"I was just admiring how powerful you were, sir! I've never seen a demon turn into that kind of form. I-I was enchanted!" You yelled at him, hands clasped together while fan-girling at his abilities with hearts in your eyes.

"My, I've never seen such behavior from a person such as you. Are you eager to be eaten?" He laughs before his eyes turning black leaving his red pupils and radio dial iris.

"Yes! I would be happy to!" You answered almost immediately, making him revert to his normal self, getting caught off guard with your reply.

He hums turning his head in confusion and irritation, “Well, that just won’t do. I only like it when my prey gets scared rather than having a sacrifice like you.”

He tries to ride away in his shadow but before he could do so, he halts in his steps when you step in front of him. “Please! I’ll act scared! I’ll do anything! I just want to be with you!” you cried dropping to the floor pathetically making him deadpan to the sight.

He huffs, and turns his back at you, “Hmm. Do what you wish.”

With that, you stayed and served Alastor for years. You’ve arranged deals for him, did his bidding on some occasions and even represented him a few times in meetings. However, your main occupation was his personal chef.

Sure, one could argue that he likes his meats raw and cooks for himself sometimes. But do you expect that man to cook every meal for himself for a nearly a century? Overlords don’t have that much free time, you know? (or at least that what Sir Alastor says) and you happily take on this task when he discovers that you were an excellent chef, living up to his own impossible standards.

However, you find yourself in a very peculiar situation.

“(y/n)? Is it really you?”

You’ve come face to face with your first love and your killer. You couldn’t help but leap up from you position and hug him while he did his best to get away from you.

“Yuta! You’re finally in here! I knew you’d come to find me, hehe,” you cried still hugging him while he struggled in your mighty grip. “I’ve been waiting for you, y’know?” you said to him with your eyes darkening at him giving him the familiar dangerous look in your eye making him tense up and unconsciously threw you across the room with his strength.

You didn’t hit the impact when Alastor raised his arms and caught you before placing you on your feet, ignoring your heart-eyes as usual.

“And who is this with you?” he asks the group, almost sneering at the new man.

“This is Yuta! He’s our new guest! We found him in Cannibal Town, and he asked us where we were, he’s now he's here!” Charlie introduces excitedly holding Yuta by the shoulder.

“Ooh, is he a bad boy?” Nifty asks looking flirtatiously.

“Why, of course! He’s the one that killed me after all!” I announced with a smile. “Isn’t that right, dear?”

He rolls his eyes and says to Charlie, “I’ll be fine anywhere as long as I don’t get involved with her. I’ll find a room myself.”

You all watch as he shows himself to one of the rooms while Charlie replies, “Uhh, ookayyy?”

“So, what’s with you and that guy?” Angel first asks, “There’s a lot of sexual and… psychological tension there.”

“Yeah, and what do you mean he killed you?” Vaggie continues, while all of them looked at you.

“Oh, you know, couple fights. One thing led to another and poof, I was gone,” you explained simply with a laugh, making Nifty laugh as well.

“So, you two dated?” Angel asked in surprise.

“Exactly, why?” I smiled at him.

“Uhh, sure. He just looks like a boy failure to me. How the fuck could he bag a hottie like you!” Angel laughs throwing his head back.

"What a crazy bitch," Husk comments blankly looking at you before peeking at Alastor's annoyed face making him raise his long brow.

You tilt you head to the side confused, before Charlie would come in and say that she’d explain it to you.

A few weeks gone by, and you didn’t stop pestering your ex with things he hated when you couldn’t get enough of the expressions on his face. You loved seeing him get so angry with you, you just loved getting on his nerve. Or it could be some fucked up enjoyment of how you remembered being eaten by him half dead that sent chills to your body every time.

“That’s it! I’ve had enough of your shit!” he yells bursting in flames.

“Oh, what? Cat got your tongue baby boy?” you teased him hands behind your back trying to annoy him.

“Oh, fuck you!” he screams as he runs forward at you trying to land a punch which you jump away from effortlessly.

He eventually tires himself out and sees you giving the deer demon googly eyes that ticks him off. He loads up a fire blast and shoots it at Alastor. You intercepted it in between not noticing him following behind it and takes hold of you neck choking you.

“Not bad,” you wheeze out with a wicked grin, setting him off and squeezing your neck tighter.

He fails to notice the black portal underneath him where a black tentacle reaches out to his ankle and wraps around his body, making him let go off you.

“I’d rather you not mess with my property if I were you,” Alastor announces menacingly as he had you in his arms. You feel starstruck as you were being princess carried and being defended by the one you admired. “I don’t like sharing, so this is my last warning for both of you to not get involved with each other.”

“Yes, sir! Anything for you!” you scream your heart out that felt like it was beginning to burst out of your chest and leap in your throat, while you give him heart eyes that he ignored, while he brought both of you to his chambers.

"Are you finally going to eat me, Sir Alastor?"

"Shut your mouth before I stitch it up for you."

"Yes, sir! I love you! 💕"

[nevarran-hahren]

The Dread Wolf & his bride || Janais Lavellan & Solas

I've been having a lot of thoughts about what Solas and Lavellan's life looks like in the Fade after Veilguard, especially the domestic parts of it. here are a couple of my headcanons / vignettes / personal Solavellan lore, re: life in the Fade, mostly from my bsky:

Dalish braids

braids hold a cultural significance to the Dalish, symbolizing both the past, present, and future of the elven people as well as the interconnectedness of all things, from the Fade to the material world. Janais has always worn her hair braided, but after she losing her arm, she had to completely relearn how to braid it one-handed as she chooses not to use a prosthetic most of the time. it takes a great deal of time and practice to relearn the skill, but after losing her entire clan, the act of braiding became a sort of ritual for her, allowing her to reconnect with her clan and her heritage.

after Janais joins Solas in the Fade, one morning he wakes to find her awake with her back to him. she is braiding her hair. he watches her intently, silently mesmerized as she weaves her long hair into two long braids, one-handed. there is a pang of guilt within him knowing he is the reason she lost her arm in the first place, but also pride in her resilience. from then on, he often helps her braid her hair—not because she isn't capable of doing it herself, but as an intimate expression of his love for her. he teaches her intricate styles from ancient Arlathan—even some he used to wear! some resemble the traditional Dalish styles her mother taught her, but many are new to her.

bonding ceremony

on the day of their bonding ceremony, Solas braids her hair into a traditional Elvhen style. it takes quite a while to do, and they are both quiet the whole time, meditating on their lives leading up to this moment, their loved ones who are no longer with them, and the future ahead which neither of them ever expected to have.

they take their vows in a simple self-uniting ceremony in a shaded grove in a lush pocket the Fade. spirits of love, hope, compassion, curiosity, and wisdom are all drawn to bear witness to their union, many leaving flowers at their feet.

they have matching rings, both intricately carved with a braided pattern representing their union and marigolds for remembrance of lost loved ones. the rings are also inlaid with a beautiful opal for forgiveness. Janais' ring is made of veil quartz (I imagine it resembles jade) and Solas' is bone, carved from his wolf's jaw pendant.

home for spirits

I am still undecided on whether they will eventually have children in my canon, but the one thing I do know is that Solas and Janais' home in the Fade is a refuge for spirits. they are caregivers to wisps, the "rarer, gentler" spirits, newly born spirits.

they welcome them into their home, care for them, and help them grow into their purpose by playing with spirits of curiosity, reading to spirits of learning… spirits of love following everywhere they go. there is a proliferation of newly born spirits of love, compassion, and hope that form around them, a reflection of their loving partnership.

[kalinara]

I've been contemplating why many of the Throuple or "Scogean" fics and meta that I see don't really work for me. This is not intended to target any one author or commenter. This is just my own personal, general opinion.

And I think my main issue is that I look for Throuple fic/meta that specifically deals with the 616, that is, the main comic book, continuity. And, for all that this is where the Throuple is actually canon*, it's actually pretty rare to find fic/meta about this specific dynamic.

(*No one's buying the eleventh hour denial, Marvel)

I think what a lot of Throuple writers don't realize about the 616 continuity is that Scott, Jean and Logan really are not a ship of two well adjusted individuals and their weird self-loathing, feral pet that they've coaxed in from the cold.

That dynamic may work for some of the other continuities, and that's perfectly cool, don't get me wrong, but if we're specifically talking about 616, the dynamic is ultimately very different.

I mean, yes, Logan is Logan. And he's got a lot of trauma and issues under his belt. He's also about 200 years old and has learned a shit ton of coping mechanisms. He's not always friendly, he's not always civilized, and occasionally he's an outright judgmental asshole. But he's mostly figured out his own shit.

Now let's look at Scott Summers and Jean Grey for a minute. The first and best of Xavier's child soldiers.

Jean Grey is the living embodiment of a god, who is constantly dealing with the fact that a loss of control on her part could and has led to billions of deaths. She has to deal with the fact that she dies, a lot and basically every time she comes back it's to a very different world than she left where everyone is yet again in some new bizarre crisis. She's constantly trying to relearn herself, her surroundings, her relationships, and atone for the things done when she'd lost control.

(A.X.E. X-Men #1)

Scott Summers is arguably the more normal of the three. He's not a god or an immortal, right? But this is a man who, in his last canonical nervous breakdown kicked Xavier from the mansion (twice), went from being headmaster of the School, to the benevolent dictator of the entire mutant race, to being an outlaw revolutionary that decorates college dorm rooms Che Guevara style and ended up on the cover of Rolling Stone even as SHIELD, the Avengers, and pretty much every world government wanted him captured or dead. Oh, and he thought it was a great idea to try to teach a new batch of students in the fucking left over WEAPONS X facility.

He's a little more stable now, admittedly. I'm not quite sure what to make of the whole outsourcing his moral accountability to his wife bit. But I'm sure the panic attack and the fact that he's now living in an abandoned Sentinel factory are not something we really need to worry about.

(Uncanny X-Men #527)

Obviously, everyone is going to have their own read on the throuple, but to me, the throuple is less two well adjusted people with their poor feral friend, and more one somewhat sane old dude who is dating a tormented goddess, and a modern version of Alexander the Great perpetually on the verge of a psychotic break.

I'm just saying, in the 616 continuity, LOGAN is the well-adjusted one.

[jonnysinsectcatalogue]

Firebug - Pyrrhocoris apterus

Am I featuring this conspicuous insect too soon since the last post made in February? Perhaps I am. However, this post is a special one for a trifecta of reasons. Firstly, the finding of these Firebugs signifies the first find of the year and thusly the insect post photographed in 2025! I was out walking and to my surprise I found this cluster of individuals huddling against the base of a mallow tree. Nearby to them on other mallow trees, there were a few more small-sized aggregations. Likely they had all awoken from their overwintering among the dried leaves and the tree's hollows to enjoy the warm sun against their short-winged backs. They seemed slow and docile, and it's likely too early for them to form mating pairs, but such a gathering may help get things started as temperatures warm over the next few weeks. It's reassuring to see them active so early, but I hope that they aren't too early as we aren't truly safe from winter in Toronto until the beginning of May. Luckily these Bugs are resilient and can retreat under the protection of their tree until spring weather is stable. However, seeing them active and together among many trees gives me hope that spring has arrived a bit earlier. It also gives me incentive to leave the leaf coverage at our house alone a bit longer for all the insects dreaming beneath. Of course, I keep the leaves free of actual litter, and the Jolly Rancher wrapper seen in Picture 9 was removed afterwards.

As for the second reason, the timing of these pictures - literally 3 days ago - was perfect to welcome the first day of spring and the gradual return of warming weather. It's just something done on this blog every time the seasons change to honor the many insects seen throughout the year. With their crimson colors, these Red Bugs are perfect to get everyone excited for spring! Finally, today's post is a special one as it signifies a change in photography and videography equipment. Last month, I upgraded my phone and jumped from my Google Pixel 4 to a Google Pixel 8a. I hesitated a bit on this change, but the Pixel 4's battery and its ability to hold charges had recently deteriorated significantly. While I'm happy to have an upgraded phone, I'm deeply thankful for the Pixel 4's 5 years of loyal service and I'm especially thankful of how much it was able to capture and share here. Counting it up, the Pixel 4 has given the following in service to this blog:

24 gigabytes of insect pictures spread out over 7,008 pictures across 2020 to 2024

5.28 gigabytes of insect videos, spread out over 58 videos across 2020 to 2024

Countless more blurry pictures or small videos which were deleted during the insect observation process across 2020 to 2024

What a legacy to give, and a great technological companion for 5 years. If the 8a can achieve even half of that, I'd be satisfied. With the Pixel 8a, it works similarly to the 4 (with some refinements), and I've been learning the ins and outs while trimming most of the phone's bloat. These Firebugs represent the first step in relearning how to capture insects in a way that is natural but also clear, well-presented and artful to a degree. It immediate seems that it can better handle focusing and zooming in on insects, so hopefully this will carry into all future pictures (and videos too)! Image quality may change compared to what was shown previously, but hopefully it will be a positive change in the long run. Like the Pixel 4, I don’t intend to review the phone. I simply intend to continue to do my best and give these insects the showcasing they deserve. Lastly, thank you, dear reader, for taking the time to visit my blog, see the wonderful insects of Ontario (and other places), and read my writings and ramblings. You are appreciated, in every sense of the word.

Pictures were taken on March 18, 2025 with a Google Pixel 8a, the first showcase of many from a new phone. Happy First Day of Spring!

[hatboyproject]

hi! i haven't seen you posting anywhere in awhile, so just wanted to check in and see if you're doing okay?

Heya, thanks for asking.

I've actually been having a really super bad time. Death and terminal illness in the only parts of my family worth a damn, my job fell apart, and the man I believe to be the love of my life has decided, "You know what, nah, I just don't wanna. Your love is actually quite inconvenient for me. It'd be great if you could go find someone else. Thanks."

It has been a long, lonely, dark and dreary year. I feel like a Husk and I didn't even need a Dragon's Tooth to do the dirty work.

I opened the Flux Bar scene in Dialogue Editor last week. There have been a lot of changes to the mod kit since I last committed any work, and I need to relearn some of it. Something that's on my mind is perhaps something fans of the project might be able to help me with, as I'm really not sure I can do absolutely everything on my own anymore.

Last time I was working on it I was playing ME3 alongside my work so that I could get a good understanding of how a typical playthrough goes and what a good pacing would be for a romance. Trying to pick moments to write things for and attach triggers to. The problem is that I don't want to play ME3, I want to work on it, and this instinct creates several pitfalls that I crashed headlong into with the beta release. Several conversations I wrote for actually could never trigger appropriately because it wasn't possible to have done the things they needed to trigger by the time the conversation occurred.

I need a detailed layout of how a typical playthrough goes and what key missions and conversations happen when, in what order, and if the order is variable I need to know how variable it is. Basically I really need someone to help me with the business of structuring the thing so I can get down to what I'm good at.

If anyone can help with this please do get in touch. I'm very tired, and maybe HBLE can restore some of my Joie de Vivre because gods know I haven't got any right now.

Thanks for asking, stranger - I wish it was better news, but I am in such a dark place right now that I literally don't see any point in obfuscating it just to be polite or to retain a sense of dignity. What dignity. Lol.

[sanriokamabodo]

Interview with Akaza + Douma (Actor!AU)

A/N: wanted to write this as a full on fic but who am i kidding (not proofread haha..)

“Hi I’m Hakuji Soyama and I've had the honour to play Akaza since the Mugen Train Arc” He gives a brief nod after his introduction. Slinging his right leg over the other, he glances at his counterpart who awkwardly raises his hand.

“...And I play Douma.’’ He states, causing Akaza to erupt into a fit of laughter, the audience and interviewer joining him instantly.

“Well that’s one way to introduce yourself.” Akaza grins, dramatically wiping a tear away from his eye.

“So tell me, what’s it like behind the scenes?"

"I think everyone gets along great, we all have a similar end goal in mind and work hard to achieve that together."

Douma nods before starting. "This is my first big time job and everybody has welcomed me with open arms. The writers even listened to my ideas and we've made some changes together for me to portray him better."

"We've heard rumours about you all doing your own stunts. Is it true?"

Akaza sighs making Douma laugh.

"You know that one scene in the infinity castle where I parkour around like it's nobody's business? That took a week to film, I nearly had to relearn to walk again because I was dangling in the air so much."

"Tch, you're so dramatic." Douma quips.

"You didn't make it any easier for me! You know how ticklish my feet are and you kept taking advantage of it while I was hanging from the ceiling!" He scoffs jokingly. "You guys better appreciate that scene." He laughs, making the audience cheer for the duo.

"How do you guys get ready for a day of shooting? Walk me through the day you started filming the uppermoon meeting."

"Make-up is the first thing we do, during make-up we go over our scenes together."

"Whose make-up takes longest?"

"Hantengu's by a long shot. He's actually really good looking in real life."

"I second that. I think Hakuji's the quickest since he has temporary tattoo's and dyed his hair for the part. He only needs to put in his contacts."

"Muzan's actor is actually really soft-spoken in real life, we had to reshoot the 'Upper Moons' meeting a lot because he would be to gentle with us and we would end up laughing." Akaza chuckles.

"Who do you respect most among the actors?"

"I respect everyone, especially the younger actors! They're super professional. I shot a scene with Ume who plays Daki and she gave me a lot of useful tips."

"The way Rengoku's actor portrays him gave me chills. He did so beautifully! I really respect him!"

"Hakuji came home crying after they filmed Rengoku's death scene." Douma teases.

"It was a long day, alright?"

"Yeah, you guys live together right?"

"We've been best friends since we were like five, so becoming roommates when we both wanted to go to theater school was an easy decision."

"Is your friend a bit like the character he portrays?"

"Absolutely not! When we're not shooting he's cooped up in his room playing video games all day. I don't know how he maintains his figure because all I see him eat is instant ramen. I'm even convinced he's a virgin." He cooes at Douma, pinching his cheek.

"Get off me!" The platinum haired man laughs. "Like you're anything like Akaza, you manwhore."

Akaza shrugs, a sly smirk on his face. "I know a bit of martial arts. That's like my character, I guess."

"The karate workshop we had when we we're eleven? Really, that's your knowledge of martial arts?"

Akaza nods seriously, trying to hold in his laugh.

"Wow, you're really something..."

"We're almost out of time." The interviewer states. "Anything you want to add before we round this interview up?"

"I can't recommend watching Demon Slayer enough! I've never been so proud of a show or movie I've done, this is next level."

"What he said, and hi mum!" Douma says, waving at the camera with a toothy grin.

"Give a round of applause for the one and only Akaza and Douma! Thank you for the interview."

[wynnefic]

reading roundup

I am delighted to announce that I have read more this month than any month since September 2020 🥳 Absolutely wild to consider! I track my reading on Goodreads, which creates cool graphs of your reading stats, and I beat out April 2021 by just a few pages. None of my books this month were book club books, which I've been meaning to get back to, but they were all fun in their own right.

The Tomb of Dragons rounds off the Cemeteries of Amalo trilogy in a way that leaves me hoping that perhaps the author has changed her mind and extended the series. There's so much opportunity for more 🥺 I will miss the adventures of Thara Celehar. This quickly became one of my very favorite series. I didn't love everything about the last book, but overall, I'm a big fan of the trilogy. In this one, the ghost of a dragon sends Thara off on a quest to help put the wrongs of the past to right.

A Deadly Education is the first in Naomi Novik's Scholomance trilogy. A friend mentioned starting the series and I picked up the first book to share the opening lines with another friend. And then what do you know, it's a few days later and I've finished my reread of the trilogy. Fabulous fabulous stuff. A spooky boarding school with monsters crawling out of every vent and no professors in sight, a main character determined not to be the evil prophesied destroyer of magical society, the friendships that build over the course of the series, the unyielding hope for a better future for the magical children of the world.

The Full Moon Coffee Shop was an impulse read, having picked it up at the library based on the cute cover. It's a quick read about three characters who have hit a roadblock in life and stumble across a coffee shop run by cats. The cats serve them a drink and read their astrology charts and give them advice. Sweet and poignant, I was tearing up near the end. Just a gentle read about good-hearted people who need a little nudge in the right direction.

It's been a mostly book reading month, but I've read some great fics, too. I particularly enjoyed:

On Freedom and Other Formalities by iaso, an OFC/Genma/Kakashi fic in which the main character ropes in a near stranger for a marriage of convenience and ends up developing feelings. Also a great mission fic.

Lessons Learned (Lessons Relearned) by cywscross, a Percy Weasley time travel fic and an utter delight. I had a moment of pure glee when I saw this story notification in my inbox and started reading immediately.

Now Entering Incognito Mode! by travelingneuritis, in which SQQ, now a rogue cultivator, meets the perfect wife for Binghe. She knows a bit too much and reminds him strongly of a certain someone, but that's just how you know they're perfect for each other!

What have you been reading?

[solani-ao3]

Silence of the Cell - excerpt

The door slammed open.

Harley flinched at the noise. His voice box let out a small, garbled noise of panic.

Leith was angry. Leith only ever came to visit him when he was angry.

He hoped it was blind angry. The kind where Leith came into the cell to beat him personally. The kind where he forgot Harley was not flesh and blood anymore, but metal and wires. It hurt less that way. One of the few benefits of this grotesque, robotic body he'd been put into. Leith's beatings hurt less than when he'd been human.

He hoped it was not controlled anger. The one where Leith used the console at his disposal to hurt him. Where he took his time dialing up the pain to unbearable levels, making Harley think he couldn't hurt any worse only to take the agony up another notch. Behind the console, Leith had all the power. Had direct access to Harley's nervous system, to his mind. Could hurt him so badly that Harley felt like he could die, wished he would die, but never did. Left to shriek and writhe and sob on the floor, his malfunctioning voice box emitting screams and desperate, unintelligible pleas for an end that Leith would never give him. Leith would never kill him. Even if he was a failure.

He hoped it wasn't one of those days.

It was.

When it was finally over he was a sobbing mess on the observation room floor. His entire body ached with the ghost of the agony he had just endured. He felt like dying. He wanted to die. He wanted all of this to be over for good.

Harley expected Leith to leave. Leith never lingered. He came, he vented his anger at him, and he left. Only to return the next time something set him off and he needed to hurt Harley to get his rage under control. He didn't expect the door to open instead. Didn't expect the sound of footsteps approaching him, or the soft hands that stroked down his arm, came to cradle the side of his screen.

“I'm sorry, Harley.” Leith whispered, and Harley couldn't stop himself from shuddering at the sound of that voice, no more than he could stop the soft whimper that escaped his malfunctioning voice box. “I had to hurt you. I've spoken to White this morning, and you know what he has told me? You're a lost cause. Your brain won't fully adapt to your new body. You won't regain your speech. You won't relearn how to write. He says it's a miracle you can even still understand spoken language! And all that wouldn't have mattered if we just had access to your mind. But alas, the damage is too great for our computers to be able to read your thoughts, to extract the information we need.”

Leith breathed a heavy sigh, thumb gently stroking over the edges of Harley's screen, making Harley reflexively shut his eye at the close touch.

“You know what he suggested? He said we should put you back on the operating table, Harley. He said we should put you out of your misery. We should strip you apart for parts, figure out what went wrong so we may avoid the same mistake in the future. You will never recover, you will never again be useful to us. He said our best course of action is to let you go like the rest of the failures.”

‘Please tell me you said yes,’ Harley thought, quaking beneath Leith's touch. ‘Please… I can't take it anymore… please tell me you're letting me go.’

Leith grinned, and Harley's nonexistent heart sank.

“I told him to go screw himself. You're mine, Harley. I was the one who brought you back to Playtime. I was the one who gave you your position of Head of Special Projects. I made you. Everything you've achieved is thanks to me. You owe everything to me. You belong to me. Did you really think I would let go of you so easily? Like Elliot had?” Leith laughed, an unpleasant, nauseating sound. Making Harley shudder and attempt to cringe away in revulsion. “Never.”

[tracybirds]

Where Parallel Lines Meet (8/?)

If we could all ignore the fact that this took me 1.5 years to update, that would be great, thanks

It's.... been a time for me, but I'm so glad I've finally been able to have the brain space and the energy to finish this chapter <3 I hope you enjoy, and once again thank you heaps to @gumnut-logic for cheering me on!

Title is adapted from a line in Sarah Howes’ poem ‘Relativity’ (scroll to the bottom of the article)

A fight between John and Alan is followed by an interstellar storm with unexpected consequences.

[Part 1] | [Part 2] | [Part 3] | [Part 4] | [Part 5] | [Part 6] | [Part 7] | [Part 8]

---

“Hey, Alan, dinner time!”

Gordon’s voice echoed in his headphones, and Alan pulled them off with a grin as he paused his game.

It had been a week and he still felt the thrill of knowing his family would all be there, just like they were before global chaos had squeezed them out of their lives on the island.

Gordon was pulling a face at Kayo as she laughed, happily grounded along with the rest of them, as Alan sidled into his seat. Scott held his fork halfway to his mouth, busy scrawling notes on a tablet as Grandma fussed at him to put his work away.

Scott absently tried to wave her off, only for his food to fly off his fork and land squarely in Grandma Tracy’s lap.

She said nothing, only stared at Scott with raised eyebrows as he put the tablet away with burning cheeks.

Alan grabbed a plate from Virgil, who didn’t pause in his conversation with Brains, pointedly ignoring their elder brother as Gordon and Kayo piled in on him.

It was a family meal, almost exactly as he had longed for, right down to the empty seat next to him that John took on birthdays and holidays.

It wasn’t anyone’s birthday now, but the empty seat stung all the same.

“Still no John?” he asked quietly, the now-familiar guilt thrashing inside him again.

Brains’ smile dropped for a moment and he shook his head.

“I’ll take him something later,” he said.

“Be patient, dear,” said Grandma. “He just needs some space.”

Alan grimaced.

Space was all his brother ever wanted. Alan knew what it meant for John to need space, and it had never meant shutting him out before.

Not that Alan could blame him, he thought as he poked his potatoes glumly. He’d tried to imagine how it would feel to have everyone openly celebrating your departure. More than that, it had been his family, his own brothers.

The thought made Alan break out in a cold sweat. And while Scott, Virgil and Gordon might be forgiven, having spent so little time with John over the past few months, he himself was a different matter.

He’d whooped.

“Alan?” said Virgil, and Alan raised his head to find his brother watching him with a worried look in his eye. “It’s not your fault.”

His stomach dropped away and the smell of food caught in Alan’s throat as he held back a sudden gag.

He stood, his chair scraping on the floor.

“I have to go,” he mumbled, and he stumbled out of the suddenly silent room, knowing that he’d just ensured he’d be the starring feature in the conversation the second he was out of earshot.

It wasn’t right, this mockery of a dinner that was near identical to the meals he’d had a thousand times on the island. Not when John was here.

His communicator beeped and Alan pulled up the call automatically.

“You need to find John,” informed EOS. “He has revoked my access to his biometrics.”

Alan let out a hollow laugh. “So he doesn’t want to spend time with you either?”

“He is being irrational.”

“He’s upset.”

“He’s been upset for months.” Alan could almost hear the stamp in her voice. “I merely pointed out that it was inefficient to relearn everything when he could accept the cure and regain it in an instant.”

Alan winced.

“Yeah, EOS, that probably didn’t help.”

“Why not?” she demanded. “He keeps talking about how he wants to do more, and how he has to get the simulators right to prove he’s just as good, but he could if only he’d listen to me! He said we were partners – why won’t he let me help him?”

She paused and her lights dimmed. “Does he just not trust me anymore? Most people don’t, you know.”

“It’s nothing to do with you,” he said. “He just needs to prove it to himself, I think.”

“He has nothing to prove.” Her ring of lights flashed orange, fierce and protective as ever. “He’s already done it. It would be easy; he could be himself again instead of this… child. Why can’t he see that?”

“He is that kid, EOS. Besides, when has John ever taken the easy way out? What if he’d done that with you?”

EOS froze, her lights falling until there was only one remaining, blinking soft and red beneath her camera. Alan found himself once again wishing he could take back what he’d said. They rarely spoke of EOS’s beginnings with the family.

“I am aware of what he did for me,” she said in a small voice.

Alan swallowed tightly. “I know. It’s just that, what he did for you he now has to do for himself. And it’s really, really hard.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“Yeah, it does,” said Alan. “But you and me can help him with it, right?”

“Not if he keeps hiding.”

“Well, then we’ll find him. Biometrics aren’t the only way to hunt someone down.”

***

It took the two of them nearly an hour to make any headway. John was smart, he knew how to cover his tracks, knew how not to be found.

EOS even swore when she realised the infrared tracking system had been rerouted to obscure any heat signatures, and Alan stifled a laugh thinking of John swearing in the exact same way on Thunderbird Five.

When they finally unravelled the mess of code John had created to hide himself away, Alan sat back in relief at knowing his brother was still here.

John was in the simulators.

Of course he was, thought Alan with a sigh. Two days locked in a room that wasn’t his, ignoring all attempts at conversation before making his escape. He’d hardly left the training facility since.

Alan had overheard Scott and Virgil arguing over the best way to handle the situation, usually after Scott had tried to ambush John for the umpteenth time. He’d been dragged away time and time again, having attempted everything from a ‘reasonable discussion’ to a full blown attempt to batter down a door.

Virgil defaulted to their grandma’s advice, as he so often did, insisting on giving John his space.

“Remember how he was after Dad – after Mom?”

Alan didn’t, but Virgil’s words had chilled him to the core, especially when he saw how Scott wilted in turn.

His brothers, his grandma, Kayo and Brains, they all wanted to sit back and wait for their John to come back to them.

But Alan knew his brother, this brother.

And he was done with waiting.

“Coming, EOS?”

She shook her array. “It’s enough to know where he is,” she said softly. “Now I can watch him, until he is ready to speak with me again.”

Alan nodded, then reached out and tugged open the door, stepping inside without another word.

He could tell when John sensed his presence by the way the ground fell beneath his feet, the momentary distraction enough to turn the flight into a death spiral.

John swore, with a ghost of EOS in his voice, glancing at him irritably before remembering he was meant to be ignoring Alan.

Alan sat down and picked up a headset as he felt for the familiar curve of the joystick in his hand.

“I don’t need your help.”

“It’s not help. It’s teamwork.”

“And I don’t want to talk to you.”

Alan shrugged.

“Fine. You going to fly or what?.”

It was his turn to ignore his brother as John glowered at him.

The sequence began. John’s hands moved instinctively to each position, his eyes narrowed slightly as he read the signs of instability ahead. Alan mimicked him as he made each minute adjustment, holding back a smile as John flipped the craft into a daredevil spin.

He never could resist showing off for his youngest brother.

“John, watch your intakes,” Alan murmured, his eyes flitting down to the dials.

He made no response.

Alan risked a glance at him, startled by the blind focus evident in John’s steely gaze.

“John, the intakes,” he said sharply, reaching across the sim to pull the nose up and allow more airflow.

A millisecond too late, as John’s own hand came crashing down on his own and fumbled.

It was all it took.

The sea water beneath them rushed upwards as the aircraft dropped, the swoop in Alan’s stomach as real as in any emergency, before the screens went dark and the holos surrounding them faded away.

John glared at him.

“Thanks a lot,” he spat. “I thought you were here to fly, not cause a crash.”

Alan rolled his eyes. “If one sentence is all it takes to trash your concentration, you’re not much of a pilot,” he retorted. “I told you, this takes teamwork. You’re wasting your time practising like this if you’re going to refuse to work with us at the other end.”

“They don’t want me to work with them anyway,” spat John. “Neither did you, last I checked.”

“I’m sorry it happened like that,” said Alan. “I won’t make excuses, there’s nothing to say. Just… John, I am sorry. And I miss hanging out with you.”

John didn’t look at him. Alan waited, biting his tongue in order to refrain from filling the uncomfortable silence. He held his breath, counting in threes, then sixes, then eights to fill in the passing seconds.

“You don’t know what it’s like,” John mumbled. “I woke up in this nightmare, home’s gone, Dad’s dead, and my own family doesn’t want me. They want some other guy, who looks like me and acts like me, but he’s not me.”

John shook his head. “He’s so far beyond anything I can ever do.”

He looked up at Alan, the hurt swimming in his eyes. “I just want to go home.”

Alan swallowed, a tight lump leaving his mouth dry.

“I can’t get you home,” he whispered. “But John, I want you. I love you. You’re my big brother, you can do anything.”

John blinked rapidly, lips trembling.

“I’m not your big brother anymore, Alan.”

He collapsed forward, and Alan instinctively reached out, refusing in this moment to pull away, no matter what his brothers might do in his place.

“We’re on the same team,” said Alan, his arms tight around John. “Don’t forget that. We are on your side. No matter what happens.”

[booksandabeer]

Stucky Recs: Road Trips!

Well, well, well. Look at that! After only three months of constant whining about having no time to do it, I've finally managed to put together a new rec list! Yay.

The theme of this list was requested by multiple people and really, who doesn't love a good road trip story, right? And let me tell you, there are so many good ones, this post could've been twice as long. I'm actually already hoarding fics in my little folder to do a part two later this year.

But for now, please enjoy my effusive ramblings about the following 10 Road Trip fics + 1 Rail Trip fic:

🚗 you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all by biblionerd07 | T, 15K

Author's summary: Steve and Bucky aren't really much of a Steve and Bucky anymore these days. Steve's sure it's because Bucky doesn't see himself as the same guy who used to love Steve. In a desperate attempt to prove him wrong, Steve begs Bucky to go on a road trip together, the way they used to dream about, and does his best to remind Bucky of who he is.

A post-CW canon divergent fic that's in a lot of ways very soft, but with just enough of an edge to keep things interesting and the reader uncertain as to how everything will play out in it. This starts with a somewhat disaffected Bucky who has not (yet) regained all of his memories and a Steve who, in his desperation to reconnect with him, tries so hard but ends up saying and doing all the wrong things. As they travel around the country, they both find ways to let go and to unlearn and relearn each other. Features moments of heart melting yet tongue-in-cheek sappiness (so the absolute best kind of sappiness) and a fun background Sam/T'Challa pairing.

🚗 a black sky prickled with small lights by emilywithoutY | M, 26K

Author's summary: There's this: The July heat. A wide open road. An obnoxious country song on the radio. Bucky in the driver’s seat.

Or: Two hundred-year-old men and their Great American Road Trip

The ultimate, unashamed Steve-and-Bucky-visit-the-Grand-Canyon wish-fulfillment fantasy—and I mean that in the best possible way. The summer road trip vibes are impeccable. This is technically the third part in the Litanies series, but it absolutely works as a standalone. However, if you ask me whether you should read the entire series, the answer is obviously a resounding yes. It's not only one of the best EG-Fix-Its I've read but also comes with an additional fun and sexy twist on how to get these two to finally get their heads out of their asses. Anyway, in this installment, they have already done that and now they get to enjoy the road, their freedom, and most of all, each other. Includes: healing along the way, long overdue conversations, and the attempt to reconcile the joy of finally having all that time with the bittersweet reality of having all that time.

🚗 Blue Moon by what_alchemy | E, 15K

Author's summary: "Now are you gonna run away with me or not, Rogers?”

God, this story (this author, really)! I’ve read this fic so many times I’ve lost count. It features one of my favorite post-WS characterizations of Bucky. One where he's still—somehow after everything—a romantic at heart, but also clear-eyed and unsentimental enough about certain things to not shy away from laying out some uncomfortable truths for Steve and the reader alike (there’s one line in particular that is seared into my brain and every time I read it I personally feel so called out). Steve may be a bit more cautious and softer about it, but oh, he gives back just as good. Nobody is handling anyone with kid gloves here. A story about learning how to be together (again), defining one's very own version of 'Happy Ever After', and about being very much in love, and also very horny for each other.

🚗 Not Language but a Map (The Grammar of Sensation) by dorian_burberrycanary | E, 20K

Author's summary: Steve has never felt right running away from a fight, even if the fight is with unanswered questions. But it’s not running if it’s a road trip and the oldest, thorniest unanswered question is along for the ride.

If you follow my blog you will probably already know that I am head over heels in love with this entire EG-Fix-It Series. This third story is finished, but Steve & Bucky's road trip continues in part 4, which is currently being posted (updates weekly). I believe this fic can be read as a standalone but, really, why would you deprive yourself of even a single word of this absolutely magnificent series? Every word, every detail, every narrative choice feels deliberate and well thought out. It's a masterclass in subtle storytelling and yet so rich in its themes, characterizations and descriptions of people, places, and food. This fic will make you hungry in so many different ways. A lot happens between the lines which may require some patience at times, but when the emotional payoff hits—it really, really hits. I cannot recommend this enough. Spectacular all around.

🚗 where the days are longer by endofadream | E, 13K

Author's summary: And maybe that’s what they’re running from. Those ghosts. That minefield. The suffocating pressure to live up to who they used to be when who they used to be has now become stale, recycled words in textbooks and museums and clickbait online articles.

They fuck off to the coast, trying to put as many miles between them and D.C. as possible. New York is loud and claustrophobic at the best of times, but California has the open skies and roads that make Steve ease a little more into his skin.

I have such an immense fondness for this story. There are some very minor problems with shifting POV in the first chapter, but please don't let this deter you from giving this story a chance—it's got so much heart. This is a slow and meandering piece that can be best summed up as: Steve and Bucky being so very much in love. Set in some undefined period post-CATWS, in a world where the events of Civil War never happened, Steve and Bucky decide they’re tired of fighting and conforming to what everyone else wants them to be and just get in a car and drive all the way to California. There, they start figuring out how to live in the future while also accepting that they can never quite leave the past behind, and that time, indifferent to the tragedies of (not quite) mortal men, will inevitably keep marching on—whether they want it to or not. To quote directly from the story itself: They’re both men out of time, so they make their own.

🚗 Lightning in a Bottle by odetteandodile | E, 63K

Author's summary: The problem, Steve thinks, isn’t so much his motorcycle giving up the ghost on a lonely stretch of highway through a lonely stretch of the country. He doesn’t mind stretching his legs or the prospect of hitchhiking.The problem is the roiling black blanket of storm clouds slowly spreading itself over the landscape headed his direction…

Steve Rogers is looking to hitch on a highway abandoned by everyone smart enough to avoid a looming storm. Bucky Barnes is the professional storm chaser who offers him a ride. It gets more complicated from there. 

This AU offers an intriguing twist on the The Road Trip as a genre, Shrunkyclunks as a trope, and modern!Bucky as a character—it's an electric ride from start to finish—in more ways than one… *wiggles eyebrows* ...yeah ok, I’ll see myself out. It was either this or something about 'chasing all kinds of storms together' and I just couldn’t resist. Anyway, this story is a clever and unique take on canon events (not just limited to the CA movies!) and I don’t really want to give too much away and spoil all the fun, so I’ll just say this: If you are in the mood for a thrilling sci-fi/adventure/romance hybrid-story with beautiful evocative writing, characters that actually act like the smart, competent grown-ups they supposedly are, sex scenes that are both hot and emotional, and a touch of spy/mission fic to go along with a free crash course in weather phenomena—this is the fic for you!  

🚗 The Only Familiar Thing by brideofquiet | E, 39K

Author's summary: Steve takes a breath, steels himself, and asks, “Where are we going, Buck?”

Bucky raises an eyebrow. “You’re the one driving, Steve.”

And before Steve can protest, Bucky gives him that broad, toothy grin again. The worry pitted in his stomach ebbs, and he decides—what the hell? Why not? Steve pulls his helmet on and swings a leg over the bike. Bucky settles in behind him, and he cranks the engine to life.

A Post-CATWS fic, in which Bucky has returned to Steve after being on the run for a while. They are together, share an apartment in Brooklyn, and Bucky has regained most of his memories—so yay! All good, right? Well, things are going…uh...let's say they're going. See, Steve and Bucky are still very much in love—the thing is, they're pretty good at the being in love part but pretty awful at the talking about it (and everything else that matters) part. So much so that they accidentally on purpose non-communicate and out-stubborn each other into going on a road trip, where things will eventually—inevitably—come to a head. Throughout the trip, the tension between them builds and builds until finally they have to admit that sometimes being partners, lovers, best friends, and knowing someone better than anybody else in the world, still doesn't mean that you can *actually* read their mind. Sometimes you gotta use your words. The author skillfully manages to create a story that treats its characters and their conflict seriously, while also infusing it with a healthy dose of humor and romance to always keep the readers on the right side of 'frustrated' (i. e. invested, not irritated).

🚗 old college try by kafkian | E, 19K

Author's summary: Bucky wonders if it’ll ever stop feeling like stealing: Steve Rogers, Captain America, the hope of a nation tucked into Bucky’s right hand. It’s the heist of the century.

In which Bucky Barnes remembers himself, Steve, and what it means to be selfish – not necessarily in that order.

Another old favorite of mine. Set post-CACW, this fic starts with a recently defrosted Bucky and a somewhat unmoored Steve in Wakanda, as they try to figure out what to do next: Keep fighting the never-ending wars of other people or run away, see the world, and retire to a quiet life? Well, since this is a road trip fic, I think you can guess which option they go for. It's a beautifully written story about Steve and Bucky's journey across continents and decades, and their ultimate arrival in a life that they never dared to hope they could have one day. This was written in 2016, so right between the fanfic avalanche caused by TWS and the frenzy of EG-Fix-Its. Re-reading this for the first time in quite a while made me realize that—aside from being a fantastic story in its own right—it's also an interesting commentary on popular Stucky fics that came before it (you can see clear influences but also some gentle rebuttals to popular fanon of the time) as well as very much a product of its time. And I don't mean that in a negative or disrespectful way at all, but simply, that it also serves as a fandom artifact; a text that reveals and reacts to certain trends, shifting attitudes, and developments in Stucky fanfiction over the years. Either way it's definitely well worth a read.

🚗 The Long Way: A Stucky Fancomic by BeaArthurPendragon, LittleWolf82 | T

Authors' summary: After Thanos is defeated, Steve doesn't stay in the past. This is the story of where he and Bucky go next.

A little something different here: a road trip fancomic! And oh, it's only one of my favorite fic writers teaming up with one of my favorite artists—what's not to love? This is an EG-Fix-It that simply ignores the last five minutes that Ruined It All and instead tells the story of what could've or should've happened to Steve and Bucky after EG. A story that is infinitely kinder and truer to these characters. Sweetly told and beautifully drawn—an absolutely wonderful collaboration.

🚗 i need a forest fire by tomorrowsrain | T, 65K

Author's summary: In which Tony Stark makes a reckless decision, becomes a wanted fugitive, goes on the run with the former Winter Soldier, and learns how to forgive. For his part, Bucky Barnes is just trying to hold himself together. AU, post-Civil War.

This is the only fic on this rec list that does not have Bucky and Steve going on a journey but instead it's Bucky and...Tony. WAIT! Hey, come back! I know that for a lot of Steve and/or Bucky fans the idea of reading a 65K fic that heavily features Tony Stark does not really sound like an enticing prospect. BUT! Hear me out. This is a fic that runs with one of the core concepts of fix-it fanfiction, which is: What if these characters actually talked to each other for a change? And yes, it gets messy and complicated and often painful—nothing is glossed over and no one is let off the hook easy. What you get here is a fantastically written story that is simultaneously an intimate & slow character study of both Bucky and Tony, a grand sweeping road trip fic with a thrilling plot that will have you on the edge of your seat (there is a moment in this where I really thought it was all over), AND a decade spanning tale of epic love. If you're worried that there is too little Stucky or Steve in this, don't be. Even before he shows up around the halfway mark of the fic, Steve is very much present the entire time. It's incredible what the author pulls off here. This is one of my all-time favorite fics. I love it a totally not normal amount.

🚂 Will There be Any Freight Trains in Heaven? by phoenixflight | E, 56K

Author's summary: It's summer of 1934, a quarter of all Americans are unemployed, and record numbers of migrant workers are hopping freight trains to seek their fortune out west. What are two boys from Brooklyn to do?

Or, Steve and Bucky ride the rails, become socialists, and fall in love, in no particular order.

This story is a bit of an outlier on this list because not only is it the only fic that's set in the pre-war period, it's also not strictly a road trip fic, but a rail trip fic. Usually the road trips in these stories are either (1) a last ditch effort at saving a friendship/relationship, (2) a way of finding oneself and/or making peace with one's past, or (3) the 'we survived all this and here we are together in the future, so let's go and actually see some of that world we fought so hard to save' victory lap. The impetus for travel in this fic, however, is born out of sheer necessity. It's the height of the Great Depression and Steve and Bucky are really poor and really desperate—so desperate even that they're willing to leave behind Brooklyn, their families, and their lives as they know it to go look for work in the West. This is not a fic that's always easy to read, circumstances are dire, attitudes are, ahem, authentic to the period, and the nostalgia-tinted glasses about the good old days before the war will get firmly knocked off your face. It's also a story that will show you time and time again that sometimes you will find kindness, love and almost overwhelming humanity in the places you least expect it. And listen, if period accuracy and a very political Steve Rogers do not convince you, let me tell you that there's also a lot of pining in this. So. Much. Pining.

Ok. This was fun.

Next up: Short fics under 10K

[hillbillyoracle]

Microwave Cooking Ideas

So I don't know who needs to hear this (it's me) but anytime you have some semi-significant life change, you have to relearn how to cook. That's just how it is.

So I've been relying on my microwave more and it's been some amount of trial and error to find meals I actually like in it with all my food sensitivities + nutrition needs. So I thought I'd share some I learned along the way that kind of surprised me.

Chickpeas (Optional: Tacos)

You can make crispy chickpea in the microwave. Did you know this? I have no idea. Just drain a can, rinse it, towel them off a little, add a little oil + spices, mix it up, and put it in the microwave for 8-10 minutes.

You can just snack on them as is.

Or you can get soft taco shells (gluten free for me), add a little cheese (dairy free for me) and then the chickpeas and you've got fantastic tacos with very little active time. I like to wrap the soft tacos in a damp paper towel and microwave for 1 minute just to make them a little easier to work with but you don't have to. They're so tasty.

High fiber, decent protein, very tasty.

Tortilla Pizzas

There are so many options for these. You use a tortilla base (gluten free for me), add your sauce (I like bbq sauce), add your cheese and any toppings you like, and voila - "pizza" .

I like that this one is scalable. So the other night I was really hungry so I quickly fried up a can of chicken and some onions with some spices. I put that on my pizza base with pineapple - pro tip get the fruit cups, great for a single portion - and it was super filling. Today I was less hungry so I just had tortilla, sauce, cheese, and pineapple.

Bonus: you can make this a dessert pizza. Nutella, bananas, cinnamon - microwave for a minute - delicious.

Peas + Carrots

Want a vegetable ever but don't want to have to heat up a whole steamer bag of veggies just to have some? Peas and carrots are great. They reheat pretty easily in the microwave without a ton of extra time. Add them to a microwave meal to bulk it out some. I've been adding it as a side when I make chicken nuggets (gluten free).

Honorable Mentions

Eggs don't sit the best with me right now but they're super easy to make in the microwave. Add in some frozen peas and carrots and cheese and you've got a kind of omelet. Or put in a soft taco shell or tortilla with cheese.

Potatoes and sweet potatoes do well too. Poke holes in them with a fork and look up the microwave instructions for your particular kind. Then add your favorite toppings. Canned chili is also an easy one to add. Don't feel like keeping potatoes on hand? Check out potato flakes.

If you've also got a toaster, you can toast bread, butter it, add a slice of cheese between two slices and microwave it for a pseudo grilled cheese. Microwave a soup and you're golden.

I can't have stuff like ramen or microwave rice but they're a great option if you can. Add in some veggies or an egg and it'll make it more satisfying. You can also add some peanut butter to ramen to give it a depth of flavor and add some protein and fat.

Next adventure will be trying out my microwave steamer to make some chicken or fish + veggies.

Anyways I hope this sparks some ideas for someone cause I got tired of microwave meals real fast.

[feralcatalyst]

Do you have any tips for drawing?

Never stop. Just keep drawing. No matter what your evil brainworms whisper in your ear, no matter what the public or the internet says about it, no matter what you do, do not stop. Take breaks, of course, stretch and refresh yourself with water, but never GIVE UP on drawing. The more you do it, the more you study and watch and learn and the more time you spend actually drawing, the more progress you will make. Hitting a wall? Does what you draw look bad to you? That's GREAT!!! Study what you made, and figure out WHAT and WHY it looks bad to you. Are the eyes wonky? Get to the grindstone and study different styles of eyes, from toony, to realistic, find something that looks and feels good to you, and practice practice practice. Is the hand looking off? Look at your own hand! Look at hands other people have drawn, study and watch and learn and replicate, even tracing and reference is okay so long as credit is given when and where necessary! As long as you are taking steps to learn what you are doing *wrong* then eventually you will find solutions and ways to make them look right! It may take you days, weeks, months, even years, but if you never give up, you will eventually continue improving. My personal art history below the cut for context, I hope it helps and brings some form of inspiration to everyone, even non-artists trying to learn or get into hobbies or new skills <3

I've been drawing ever since I could hold a pencil, so let's say since I was about 2. No one taught me how to draw, as I aged I started to notice that things were 'wrong' with my art and I would work to fix them. I realized very early that most animals don't have 4 legs on one side, so I'd draw two legs and add the "missing" two behind them, I saw the sun did NOT in fact wear sunglasses or have a face so I stopped with that childhood trope, I drew and drew and drew the things I loved the things I wanted the things I found beautiful cool or mysterious. (Dragons and yoshi's...) I was easily the best artist in my elementary school and I won some award for a recycling calendar our whole grade submitted art to.

I started growing up into a cringe teen that loved wolves and anime and emo skater aesthetic. My focus went from free-handing art to learning to do "real" practiced and professional style art, IE sketching the drawing in pencil and then lining it in ink, and then coloring it with colored pencils. I got my first drawing tablet around 13, when i was also old enough to join deviantart. I made fanart for everyone that reached out to talk to me, I drew characters I wasn't used to drawing, I wanted to make people happy so I drew and drew and drew for my friends and artists I looked up to. I started drawing fanart of my favorite tv shows, I dabbled more and more into digital art and I was BAD but I kept at it. I didn't let my mediocrity stop me. I knew I would never get better if I didn't at least TRY. There are no failures in art, only happy accidents. The only time you 'fail' is when you refuse to stop trying. But you can pick the hobby/job/skill back up whenever you ARE ready to try again. It's never lost to you.

Then I got into a car accident at 16. I had a concussion and a traumatic brain injury. I was injured severely enough that I had to relearn how to do… Well almost everything. I had trouble walking, speaking, playing games, and worst of all for me at least, drawing. I couldn't do it anymore. The wires in my brain weren't bridging the right connections anymore, trying to draw was like trying to speak a different language and no matter how hard I tried everything I had in me was just…. gone. I had to start from scratch, a blank slate but this time I had everything going against me, a brain that struggled to remember retain information and learn, and a body that struggled to move and react as I intended. I was so depressed, it took almost a year to get back on some semblance of improvement, and just as I stubbornly refused to stop drawing, I stubbornly forged my path forward. I got into a new fandom, started seriously practicing the human form since before then I'd only focused on animals and fantasy creatures. Yeah I sucked, my anatomy was shit, my understanding of the body the facial expressions perspective it was all off. But I kept doing it.

I started drawing smut when I was 18, it helped me immensely in practicing how bodies could interact, what made poses or people feel rough or stiff, I studied porn and cgi and famous smut artists, i took time to learn what I liked about it, what was right but looked wrong, what was wrong but looked right, how light and textures were supposed to look, I had no obligation to improve I just wanted to. I had striven to keep going and make small steps in the right direction, taking time to study all my old pieces and figure out WHY they were bad, all the things that were WRONG, how how I could edit or fix the issues to a point where I would deem it acceptable. I never deleted any 'finished' works. I can still access my art from when I was a cringe tween, I can see my mistakes from every year I was active on the internet. I also did my best to not self deprecate, I would objectively critique my abilities and pieces and not take any feedback negatively no matter how harsh or scathing it may be. If someone had a strong enough opinion to voice it then I should have a strong enough backbone to listen and hear them out.

I started taking commissions once I felt comfortable in myself and my abilities. I never turned a commission idea down (Unless it was genuinely unethical) and used every opportunity to give MY BEST to my clients. Even if it was content I did not enjoy or characters with complicated designs or anatomy, I vowed to TRY and give my best and if I didn't know how to do or convey something I studied whatever it was until I felt confident enough in my understanding and embraced the challenges as they came. Study, learn, draw, reflect, redraw, rinse and repeat. Never give up. Try new styles. Try new mediums. Just keep trying! Do and do and do and see and watch and study and keep going.