#and i've been having a great time relearning

[agentromanoffsir]

neocities guide - why you should build your own html website

do you miss the charm of the 90s/00s web where sites had actual personality instead of the same minimalistic theme? are you feeling drained by social media and the constant corporate monopoly of your data and time? do you want to be excited about the internet again? try neocities!!

what is neocities?

neocities is a free hosting website that lets you build your own html website from scratch, with total creative control. in their own words: "we are tired of living in an online world where people are isolated from each other on boring, generic social networks that don't let us truly express ourselves. it's time we took back our personalities from these sterilized, lifeless, monetized, data mined, monitored addiction machines and let our creativity flourish again."

why should I make my own website?

web3 has been overtaken by capitalism & conformity. websites that once were meant to be fun online social spaces now exist solely to steal your data and sell you things. it sucks!! building a personal site is a great way to express yourself and take control of your online experience.

what would I even put on a website?

the best part about making your own site is that you can do literally whatever the hell you want! focus on a specific subject or make it a wild collection of all your interests. share your art! make a shrine for one of your interests! post a picture of every bird you see when you step outside! make a collection of your favorite blinkies! the world is your oyster !! here are some cool example sites to inspire you: recently updated neocities sites | it can be fun to just look through these and browse people's content! space bar | local interstellar dive bar creature feature | halloween & monsters big gulp supreme peanutbuttaz | personal site dragodiluna linwood | personal site patho grove | personal site

getting started: neocities/html guide

sound interesting? here are some guides to help you get started, especially if you aren't familiar with html/css sadgrl.online webmastery | a fantastic resource for getting started with html & web revival. also has a layout builder that you can use to start with in case starting from scratch is too intimidating web design in 4 minutes | good for learning coding basics w3schools | html tutorials templaterr | demo & html for basic web elements eggramen test pages | css page templates to get started with sadgrl background tiles | bg tiles rivendell background tiles | more free bg tiles

fun stuff to add to your site

want your site to be cool? here's some fun stuff that i've found blinkies-cafe | fantastic blinkie maker! (run by @transbro & @graphics-cafe) gificities | internet archive of 90s/00s web gifs internet bumper stickers | web bumper stickers momg | gif gallery 99 gif shop | 3d gifs 123 guestbook | add a guestbook for people to leave messages cbox | add a live chat box moon phases | track the phases of the moon gifypet | a little clickable page pet adopt a shroom | mushroom page pet tamaNOTchi | virtual pet crossword puzzle | daily crossword imood | track your mood neko | cute cat that chases your mouse pollcode | custom poll maker website hit counter | track how many visitors you have

web revival manifestos & communities

also, there's actually a pretty cool community of people out there who want to bring joy back to the web! melonland project | web project/community celebrating individual & joyful online experiences. Also has an online forum melonland intro to web revival | what is web revival? melonking manifesto | status cafe | share your current status nightfall city | online community onio.cafe | leave a message and enjoy the ambiance sadgrl internet manifesto | yesterweb internet manifesto | sadly defunct, still a great resource reclaiming online social spaces | great manifesto on cultivating your online experience

in conclusion

i want everyone to make a neocities site because it's fun af and i love seeing everyone's weird personal sites that they made outside of the control of capitalism :) say hi to me on neocities

[thatfaerieprincess]

if one more well meaning relative asks me if i have done any drawing recently i will start screaming and flip a table 🤪🙃

[pyrriax]

ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏

[thebleedingeffect]

Currently completely rewatching Hannibal rn and uhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhh I'm having am extremely normal time rn, very normal, anyway this is my favorite TV show of all time and I love it an unreasonable amount

[harleehazbinfics]

Love eat?

Alastor x cannibal servant!reader

Original Concept | Additional Concept

Word count: 1764

A/N: sup im back with more crack, jk. but yeahhh i did a oneshot of that imagine and now we're here. i've channeled my inner crazy and that led me to this oneshot lmao, sorry if it's not up to par but pls enjoooooyyyy!

ps I can't find the artist pls help. chainsaw man falling devil spoiler sorry

“Yuta!” you called your boyfriend from where you sat waiting for him.

“Sorry, I'm late,” he says with an apologetic smile, placing his bag to his side while he sat in front of me.

“No, it's ok! You're doing your best in school. I was the one who asked you to eat with me anyway,” you responded clapping your hands together, appealing cutely to your boyfriend.

“But you're busy with your culinary classes too. I'm sure you're working harder than I am!” He replied, making you smile at how genuine he sounded.

You reached inside your bag and presented 2 lunch boxes in front of him. His eyes widen in anticipation while you opened them, revealing a well plated pork cutlet and a healthy salad in the other lunch box.

“I have! I learnt a few new things during class, and I wanted you to be the first to eat my cooking. I hope you like them!” He smiles at you, flattered that he was the first thing on your mind when you made the meal. He always loved your cooking.

The both of you met when you were first years, he was just roaming the halls familiarizing himself with the school layout when he heard you squealing inside a room and helped you put out a small fire that you accidentally created while you stayed behind in the Economics Room to relearn the basics taught to you that day. So, he stayed with you until the end so that you won't set the whole room on fire this time, and as thanks you gave the meal you completed to him afterwards. As he tasted it, threw it back up when he tasted how salty it was, so you resolved yourself that you'd make a decent meal for him, and that's where your friendship to relationship started.

“Wow! You've really outdone yourself this time!” He yells with stars in his eyes, savoring each bite.

You laughed at him and pushed the salad closer to him, and said, “You can eat all of it. It's all for you!”

“Really? Thanks a lot! It's so great to have you as my girlfriend!”

-=-=-=-

“Yuta?” you asked with wide eyes as you eyed the knife in his hand that was pointed at you.

“I-I can't take it anymore. I don't want to eat any food you make for me anymore, it’s disgusting. I don’t want to eat humans! I hate it, I hate it, I HATE YOU!” He screamed lunging at you.

He pushes the knife to your stomach, a few moments later you feel the metallic taste in your throat, letting the liquid drop from your tongue as you took has face that held great remorse for you. You smiled at the pretty expression on his face and rubbed your thumb on his cheeks, smearing it with your own blood.

"How pretty. I love all the expressions you make. Do it more," you coughed out.

His expression changes from fear to disgust and anger. Vengefully, he takes your wrists binding them together in his forceful grip and continues to stab you until you died from the pain and blood loss. However, despite your body tensing and losing color on you face, he never stopped. After his knife slipped out of his hands from your blood, he threw himself at you and bit into your neck.

Devouring you. Bit by bit.

---

You've been aimlessly roaming around hell and chopping sinners with your cleaver that were dumb enough to pick a fight with you. At the moment, you sat on top of a building waiting for something to happen while eating an beefy arm starting from the shoulder.

While you were gnawing at it with a blank expression on your face. You were surprised when a massive green explosion appeared out of nowhere, inducing a few screams of terror.

Just a couple blocks in front of you, you see a giant red deer demon with black tentacles coming out his back as he crushed sinners in his hands and consuming them.

You immediately dropped the arm you were holding and watched as the overlord showed off his power against you, sinners. Unable to hold yourself, you followed his parade of chaos and squeaked when he appears behind you wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"How rude of you to follow me around, while I was playing with my meal," he remarks with a snarky tone.

You got distracted with his voice. How could someone be so seductive with a radio filter on, you ask yourself.

"It's also rude to stare, you know?" He adds, starting to get pissed off by how unresponsive you were as you just kept gawking at him.

"I was just admiring how powerful you were, sir! I've never seen a demon turn into that kind of form. I-I was enchanted!" You yelled at him, hands clasped together while fan-girling at his abilities with hearts in your eyes.

"My, I've never seen such behavior from a person such as you. Are you eager to be eaten?" He laughs before his eyes turning black leaving his red pupils and radio dial iris.

"Yes! I would be happy to!" You answered almost immediately, making him revert to his normal self, getting caught off guard with your reply.

He hums turning his head in confusion and irritation, “Well, that just won’t do. I only like it when my prey gets scared rather than having a sacrifice like you.”

He tries to ride away in his shadow but before he could do so, he halts in his steps when you step in front of him. “Please! I’ll act scared! I’ll do anything! I just want to be with you!” you cried dropping to the floor pathetically making him deadpan to the sight.

He huffs, and turns his back at you, “Hmm. Do what you wish.”

With that, you stayed and served Alastor for years. You’ve arranged deals for him, did his bidding on some occasions and even represented him a few times in meetings. However, your main occupation was his personal chef.

Sure, one could argue that he likes his meats raw and cooks for himself sometimes. But do you expect that man to cook every meal for himself for a nearly a century? Overlords don’t have that much free time, you know? (or at least that what Sir Alastor says) and you happily take on this task when he discovers that you were an excellent chef, living up to his own impossible standards.

However, you find yourself in a very peculiar situation.

“(y/n)? Is it really you?”

You’ve come face to face with your first love and your killer. You couldn’t help but leap up from you position and hug him while he did his best to get away from you.

“Yuta! You’re finally in here! I knew you’d come to find me, hehe,” you cried still hugging him while he struggled in your mighty grip. “I’ve been waiting for you, y’know?” you said to him with your eyes darkening at him giving him the familiar dangerous look in your eye making him tense up and unconsciously threw you across the room with his strength.

You didn’t hit the impact when Alastor raised his arms and caught you before placing you on your feet, ignoring your heart-eyes as usual.

“And who is this with you?” he asks the group, almost sneering at the new man.

“This is Yuta! He’s our new guest! We found him in Cannibal Town, and he asked us where we were, he’s now he's here!” Charlie introduces excitedly holding Yuta by the shoulder.

“Ooh, is he a bad boy?” Nifty asks looking flirtatiously.

“Why, of course! He’s the one that killed me after all!” I announced with a smile. “Isn’t that right, dear?”

He rolls his eyes and says to Charlie, “I’ll be fine anywhere as long as I don’t get involved with her. I’ll find a room myself.”

You all watch as he shows himself to one of the rooms while Charlie replies, “Uhh, ookayyy?”

“So, what’s with you and that guy?” Angel first asks, “There’s a lot of sexual and… psychological tension there.”

“Yeah, and what do you mean he killed you?” Vaggie continues, while all of them looked at you.

“Oh, you know, couple fights. One thing led to another and poof, I was gone,” you explained simply with a laugh, making Nifty laugh as well.

“So, you two dated?” Angel asked in surprise.

“Exactly, why?” I smiled at him.

“Uhh, sure. He just looks like a boy failure to me. How the fuck could he bag a hottie like you!” Angel laughs throwing his head back.

"What a crazy bitch," Husk comments blankly looking at you before peeking at Alastor's annoyed face making him raise his long brow.

You tilt you head to the side confused, before Charlie would come in and say that she’d explain it to you.

A few weeks gone by, and you didn’t stop pestering your ex with things he hated when you couldn’t get enough of the expressions on his face. You loved seeing him get so angry with you, you just loved getting on his nerve. Or it could be some fucked up enjoyment of how you remembered being eaten by him half dead that sent chills to your body every time.

“That’s it! I’ve had enough of your shit!” he yells bursting in flames.

“Oh, what? Cat got your tongue baby boy?” you teased him hands behind your back trying to annoy him.

“Oh, fuck you!” he screams as he runs forward at you trying to land a punch which you jump away from effortlessly.

He eventually tires himself out and sees you giving the deer demon googly eyes that ticks him off. He loads up a fire blast and shoots it at Alastor. You intercepted it in between not noticing him following behind it and takes hold of you neck choking you.

“Not bad,” you wheeze out with a wicked grin, setting him off and squeezing your neck tighter.

He fails to notice the black portal underneath him where a black tentacle reaches out to his ankle and wraps around his body, making him let go off you.

“I’d rather you not mess with my property if I were you,” Alastor announces menacingly as he had you in his arms. You feel starstruck as you were being princess carried and being defended by the one you admired. “I don’t like sharing, so this is my last warning for both of you to not get involved with each other.”

“Yes, sir! Anything for you!” you scream your heart out that felt like it was beginning to burst out of your chest and leap in your throat, while you give him heart eyes that he ignored, while he brought both of you to his chambers.

"Are you finally going to eat me, Sir Alastor?"

"Shut your mouth before I stitch it up for you."

"Yes, sir! I love you! 💕"

[llyfrenfys]

In which I try not to be That Guy TM when it comes to Irish ancestors: An exploration of ancestry, diaspora and culture

Because of The Horrors TM in my life atm I've been looking into my biological family tree. I'm adopted but estranged from my adoptive family and I never met my biological family since I was adopted just short of my 2nd birthday. I've been tracing my ancestry for about 3 years now and it's genuinely quite stress relieving to me. It's also fun and challenging from a research standpoint - putting together my own family tree gave me the skills to write articles like this one I wrote in 2022 about historical Welsh queer people, for example.

Lately, I've been finding out more about my Irish ancestors while an adoptee (and thus not knowing any of my biological family) - but also doing this as a Celticist and tired of people doing the 'my sister's friend's cousin's father's mother was Irish' thing. This has created an almost unbearable tension between curiosity at my own ancestry while trying not to be That Guy who finds out about one (1) Irish ancestor hundreds of years ago and is weird about it.

Especially since mine are quite distant ancestors - my great, great, great grandparents were born in Dublin and in a tiny village in County Down called Dunnaman (near Kilkeel). However, they were Irish Catholics and emigrated to Liverpool in the 1870s - all of their subsequent children and grandchildren were born in Liverpool and all of the above + great grandchildren were raised Catholic - including my grandmother (who died before I was born). So there was an obvious attempt to maintain that heritage. There's even evidence my great, great, great grandmother at least spoke Irish (which, as she was born in County Down, would have been Ulster Irish).

The problems with uncritically throwing oneself at an ancestor's nationality:

Now, not all North Americans of Irish (or Welsh, Scottish, Italian, Scandinavian, German etc.) descent do this - but there's a very vocal set of North Americans of Irish descent who find awe and interest in their ancestry - which is actually quite a positive thing! - however, due to either temporal or cultural disconnect, they may end up doing or saying things (and not necessarily with bad intentions) which can have a negative impact on the Irish and the Irish language (or [nationality] and [language(s) associated with that nationality].

I'm reminded of the time an American commented on a Welsh language rights post I made in support of Welsh speakers, but they accidentally ended up using a white nationalist slogan by mistake. It can be a minefield - and with regards to Ireland specifically, mistakes like that can be so much worse. To literally give my own (mild) example, today I decided to relearn Irish (since I haven't spoken any in years since being taught basics at undergrad) and picked up a blank notebook I bought at Tesco the other week, while completely forgetting the inside cover of the notebook was orange. I was planning on decorating the notebook anyway and painted it a different colour. While I know that nobody would really hold it against me if I didn't change the colour, I just know that walking around with an orange notebook filled with Irish I'm relearning because of interest in my Catholic ancestors could be a confusing set of messages, at the very least. If you don't understand why this is, look up the meanings of the colours on the flag of Ireland.

Which is to say, even those of us in Northern Europe who have significantly greater physical proximity to Ireland than North America (and therefore should know better) still can and do get things wrong. And not just benignly wrong like in my case.

The tendency for some North Americans of Irish descent (Canada isn't exempt from this) to conflate Irish ancestry with a contemporary connection to the modern countries located on the island of Ireland as a whole can have results ranging from 'a bit weird' to 'jesus fucking christ'. As a Celticist, I've seen far, far too many Americans of Irish descent try to weigh in on modern Irish politics without any background knowledge or tact at all - and naturally they stake their claim on modern Irish politics entirely on the premise of having distant Irish ancestors. Or, even worse, things start to get all phrenological.

'Irish blood' and the nonexistence thereof:

'Irish blood' is continually evoked by some to validate their sense of 'Irishness' and the obsession with '[insert nationality] blood' is a distinctly North American phenomenon- likely related to or an offshoot of the concept of 'blood quantum', in which enrolment into some Native American nations and tribes is determined by how much 'Native blood' a person has. Notably, many people who would ostensibly have been described under this system as 'full blood' were registered by the US as 'half blood'. This is a method of genocide intended to wipe out tribes and nations by imposing strict measures of who does or does not qualify to enrol into a tribe or nation. This concept seems to have been extrapolated over time (in a North American context at least) into the idea of descent from other nationalities' being measured in a similar or adjacent way. This is how you end up with some North Americans declaring they are '1/8 Italian and 1/4 Irish' on their dad's side etc. While in Europe (where these nationalities hail from, crucially) this practice is seen as a really weird way to describe your ancestry. In general, it's simply 'my 4 times grandfather came from Spain' or 'my great great grandfather on my dad's side came from Finland' etc. if it comes up at all. For various political reasons, many Europeans with descent from multiple other European nationalities may choose to omit to mention descent from certain nationalities, especially if in recent history there has been conflict between their birth nation and an ancestor's nation. The most famous example of this is literally the British royal family changing their surname from the German Saxe-Coburg and Gotha to the more 'British sounding' Windsor in 1917 due to the onset of the First World War.

Where it gets really weird (and also very offensive and rude) is when cultural stereotypes get invoked alongside the whole 'blood' thing in usually quite damaging and/or disparaging ways. I've seen way too many North Americans of Irish descent claim they're alcoholics because they have 'Irish blood' or even worse, claim it's normal to domestically abuse their spouses because of it!! (Genuine thing I have seen btw). Same goes for claiming to be a naturally good chef because of 'Italian blood' and so on. As a general rule, people from the place where your ancestors were from don't generally like to be inherently be considered drunks or prone to violence due to their nationality. Or have weird and inaccurate idealisms projected onto their language or cuisine.

Aren't there any positives?

It wouldn't be fair to make a post like this without mentioning some of the positives that can come from interest in an Irish ancestor. Like I mentioned at the start of this post, I myself felt inspired to relearn Irish because of my own Irish ancestors. I was taught the Connacht dialect at undergrad, however, since my ancestor was from County Down, I'm going to try and learn Ulster Irish instead. One doesn't need Irish ancestors to learn Irish of course - when I learned I wasn't aware I had any Irish ancestors. But being inspired to learn Irish because of an ancestor can't hurt and directly increases the number of Irish speakers in the world (provided you keep at it). This is a net positive for the language as a whole.

Similarly, people who have educated themselves on Irish politics because of their ancestry and genuinely learned something are also a positive thing to come out of discovering Irish ancestors. In my experience, these people are the kind of people I enjoy talking to about being a Celticist because they actively want to learn and respect the cultures being talked about. Which is huge to me!

Conclusion:

As a Welsh speaker whose national identity is more-or-less Jan Morris-esque, my Irish ancestry is an interesting facet of my ancestry I simply didn't know about before. And being an adopted person, I can sympathise with the general sentiment of a lot of white North Americans of feeling disconnected or alienated from any ancestral heritage. The conditions which create That Guy TM as described above rely on that sense of alienation to propagate a very ineffective, tactless and often very insensitive approach to Irish and other European cultures. But the important thing is that that approach can be challenged by people genuinely interested in their ancestry who are also conscientious of the living versions of the cultures their ancestors hailed from.

For me, that means learning Irish in a dialect my ancestors are likely to have spoken. I also visited the library today to check out some books on the Irish emigration to England and the sociopolitical reasons behind that emigration. I know the broad strokes, but the details are desirable to know to get a better idea of the why and how the country of my birth had a hand in creating the conditions which led my ancestors to emigrate in the first place. I think the world would be a better place if people took the time to understand the history and politics of ancestors which don't share their nationality.

As always, reblogs and thoughts are welcomed and encouraged!

Thank you for reading to the end - and if you'd like to support me, please see my pinned post. Diolch!

[sanriokamabodo]

Interview with Akaza + Douma (Actor!AU)

A/N: wanted to write this as a full on fic but who am i kidding (not proofread haha..)

“Hi I’m Hakuji Soyama and I've had the honour to play Akaza since the Mugen Train Arc” He gives a brief nod after his introduction. Slinging his right leg over the other, he glances at his counterpart who awkwardly raises his hand.

“...And I play Douma.’’ He states, causing Akaza to erupt into a fit of laughter, the audience and interviewer joining him instantly.

“Well that’s one way to introduce yourself.” Akaza grins, dramatically wiping a tear away from his eye.

“So tell me, what’s it like behind the scenes?"

"I think everyone gets along great, we all have a similar end goal in mind and work hard to achieve that together."

Douma nods before starting. "This is my first big time job and everybody has welcomed me with open arms. The writers even listened to my ideas and we've made some changes together for me to portray him better."

"We've heard rumours about you all doing your own stunts. Is it true?"

Akaza sighs making Douma laugh.

"You know that one scene in the infinity castle where I parkour around like it's nobody's business? That took a week to film, I nearly had to relearn to walk again because I was dangling in the air so much."

"Tch, you're so dramatic." Douma quips.

"You didn't make it any easier for me! You know how ticklish my feet are and you kept taking advantage of it while I was hanging from the ceiling!" He scoffs jokingly. "You guys better appreciate that scene." He laughs, making the audience cheer for the duo.

"How do you guys get ready for a day of shooting? Walk me through the day you started filming the uppermoon meeting."

"Make-up is the first thing we do, during make-up we go over our scenes together."

"Whose make-up takes longest?"

"Hantengu's by a long shot. He's actually really good looking in real life."

"I second that. I think Hakuji's the quickest since he has temporary tattoo's and dyed his hair for the part. He only needs to put in his contacts."

"Muzan's actor is actually really soft-spoken in real life, we had to reshoot the 'Upper Moons' meeting a lot because he would be to gentle with us and we would end up laughing." Akaza chuckles.

"Who do you respect most among the actors?"

"I respect everyone, especially the younger actors! They're super professional. I shot a scene with Ume who plays Daki and she gave me a lot of useful tips."

"The way Rengoku's actor portrays him gave me chills. He did so beautifully! I really respect him!"

"Hakuji came home crying after they filmed Rengoku's death scene." Douma teases.

"It was a long day, alright?"

"Yeah, you guys live together right?"

"We've been best friends since we were like five, so becoming roommates when we both wanted to go to theater school was an easy decision."

"Is your friend a bit like the character he portrays?"

"Absolutely not! When we're not shooting he's cooped up in his room playing video games all day. I don't know how he maintains his figure because all I see him eat is instant ramen. I'm even convinced he's a virgin." He cooes at Douma, pinching his cheek.

"Get off me!" The platinum haired man laughs. "Like you're anything like Akaza, you manwhore."

Akaza shrugs, a sly smirk on his face. "I know a bit of martial arts. That's like my character, I guess."

"The karate workshop we had when we we're eleven? Really, that's your knowledge of martial arts?"

Akaza nods seriously, trying to hold in his laugh.

"Wow, you're really something..."

"We're almost out of time." The interviewer states. "Anything you want to add before we round this interview up?"

"I can't recommend watching Demon Slayer enough! I've never been so proud of a show or movie I've done, this is next level."

"What he said, and hi mum!" Douma says, waving at the camera with a toothy grin.

"Give a round of applause for the one and only Akaza and Douma! Thank you for the interview."

[tracybirds]

Where Parallel Lines Meet (8/?)

If we could all ignore the fact that this took me 1.5 years to update, that would be great, thanks

It's.... been a time for me, but I'm so glad I've finally been able to have the brain space and the energy to finish this chapter <3 I hope you enjoy, and once again thank you heaps to @gumnut-logic for cheering me on!

Title is adapted from a line in Sarah Howes’ poem ‘Relativity’ (scroll to the bottom of the article)

A fight between John and Alan is followed by an interstellar storm with unexpected consequences.

[Part 1] | [Part 2] | [Part 3] | [Part 4] | [Part 5] | [Part 6] | [Part 7] | [Part 8]

---

“Hey, Alan, dinner time!”

Gordon’s voice echoed in his headphones, and Alan pulled them off with a grin as he paused his game.

It had been a week and he still felt the thrill of knowing his family would all be there, just like they were before global chaos had squeezed them out of their lives on the island.

Gordon was pulling a face at Kayo as she laughed, happily grounded along with the rest of them, as Alan sidled into his seat. Scott held his fork halfway to his mouth, busy scrawling notes on a tablet as Grandma fussed at him to put his work away.

Scott absently tried to wave her off, only for his food to fly off his fork and land squarely in Grandma Tracy’s lap.

She said nothing, only stared at Scott with raised eyebrows as he put the tablet away with burning cheeks.

Alan grabbed a plate from Virgil, who didn’t pause in his conversation with Brains, pointedly ignoring their elder brother as Gordon and Kayo piled in on him.

It was a family meal, almost exactly as he had longed for, right down to the empty seat next to him that John took on birthdays and holidays.

It wasn’t anyone’s birthday now, but the empty seat stung all the same.

“Still no John?” he asked quietly, the now-familiar guilt thrashing inside him again.

Brains’ smile dropped for a moment and he shook his head.

“I’ll take him something later,” he said.

“Be patient, dear,” said Grandma. “He just needs some space.”

Alan grimaced.

Space was all his brother ever wanted. Alan knew what it meant for John to need space, and it had never meant shutting him out before.

Not that Alan could blame him, he thought as he poked his potatoes glumly. He’d tried to imagine how it would feel to have everyone openly celebrating your departure. More than that, it had been his family, his own brothers.

The thought made Alan break out in a cold sweat. And while Scott, Virgil and Gordon might be forgiven, having spent so little time with John over the past few months, he himself was a different matter.

He’d whooped.

“Alan?” said Virgil, and Alan raised his head to find his brother watching him with a worried look in his eye. “It’s not your fault.”

His stomach dropped away and the smell of food caught in Alan’s throat as he held back a sudden gag.

He stood, his chair scraping on the floor.

“I have to go,” he mumbled, and he stumbled out of the suddenly silent room, knowing that he’d just ensured he’d be the starring feature in the conversation the second he was out of earshot.

It wasn’t right, this mockery of a dinner that was near identical to the meals he’d had a thousand times on the island. Not when John was here.

His communicator beeped and Alan pulled up the call automatically.

“You need to find John,” informed EOS. “He has revoked my access to his biometrics.”

Alan let out a hollow laugh. “So he doesn’t want to spend time with you either?”

“He is being irrational.”

“He’s upset.”

“He’s been upset for months.” Alan could almost hear the stamp in her voice. “I merely pointed out that it was inefficient to relearn everything when he could accept the cure and regain it in an instant.”

Alan winced.

“Yeah, EOS, that probably didn’t help.”

“Why not?” she demanded. “He keeps talking about how he wants to do more, and how he has to get the simulators right to prove he’s just as good, but he could if only he’d listen to me! He said we were partners – why won’t he let me help him?”

She paused and her lights dimmed. “Does he just not trust me anymore? Most people don’t, you know.”

“It’s nothing to do with you,” he said. “He just needs to prove it to himself, I think.”

“He has nothing to prove.” Her ring of lights flashed orange, fierce and protective as ever. “He’s already done it. It would be easy; he could be himself again instead of this… child. Why can’t he see that?”

“He is that kid, EOS. Besides, when has John ever taken the easy way out? What if he’d done that with you?”

EOS froze, her lights falling until there was only one remaining, blinking soft and red beneath her camera. Alan found himself once again wishing he could take back what he’d said. They rarely spoke of EOS’s beginnings with the family.

“I am aware of what he did for me,” she said in a small voice.

Alan swallowed tightly. “I know. It’s just that, what he did for you he now has to do for himself. And it’s really, really hard.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“Yeah, it does,” said Alan. “But you and me can help him with it, right?”

“Not if he keeps hiding.”

“Well, then we’ll find him. Biometrics aren’t the only way to hunt someone down.”

***

It took the two of them nearly an hour to make any headway. John was smart, he knew how to cover his tracks, knew how not to be found.

EOS even swore when she realised the infrared tracking system had been rerouted to obscure any heat signatures, and Alan stifled a laugh thinking of John swearing in the exact same way on Thunderbird Five.

When they finally unravelled the mess of code John had created to hide himself away, Alan sat back in relief at knowing his brother was still here.

John was in the simulators.

Of course he was, thought Alan with a sigh. Two days locked in a room that wasn’t his, ignoring all attempts at conversation before making his escape. He’d hardly left the training facility since.

Alan had overheard Scott and Virgil arguing over the best way to handle the situation, usually after Scott had tried to ambush John for the umpteenth time. He’d been dragged away time and time again, having attempted everything from a ‘reasonable discussion’ to a full blown attempt to batter down a door.

Virgil defaulted to their grandma’s advice, as he so often did, insisting on giving John his space.

“Remember how he was after Dad – after Mom?”

Alan didn’t, but Virgil’s words had chilled him to the core, especially when he saw how Scott wilted in turn.

His brothers, his grandma, Kayo and Brains, they all wanted to sit back and wait for their John to come back to them.

But Alan knew his brother, this brother.

And he was done with waiting.

“Coming, EOS?”

She shook her array. “It’s enough to know where he is,” she said softly. “Now I can watch him, until he is ready to speak with me again.”

Alan nodded, then reached out and tugged open the door, stepping inside without another word.

He could tell when John sensed his presence by the way the ground fell beneath his feet, the momentary distraction enough to turn the flight into a death spiral.

John swore, with a ghost of EOS in his voice, glancing at him irritably before remembering he was meant to be ignoring Alan.

Alan sat down and picked up a headset as he felt for the familiar curve of the joystick in his hand.

“I don’t need your help.”

“It’s not help. It’s teamwork.”

“And I don’t want to talk to you.”

Alan shrugged.

“Fine. You going to fly or what?.”

It was his turn to ignore his brother as John glowered at him.

The sequence began. John’s hands moved instinctively to each position, his eyes narrowed slightly as he read the signs of instability ahead. Alan mimicked him as he made each minute adjustment, holding back a smile as John flipped the craft into a daredevil spin.

He never could resist showing off for his youngest brother.

“John, watch your intakes,” Alan murmured, his eyes flitting down to the dials.

He made no response.

Alan risked a glance at him, startled by the blind focus evident in John’s steely gaze.

“John, the intakes,” he said sharply, reaching across the sim to pull the nose up and allow more airflow.

A millisecond too late, as John’s own hand came crashing down on his own and fumbled.

It was all it took.

The sea water beneath them rushed upwards as the aircraft dropped, the swoop in Alan’s stomach as real as in any emergency, before the screens went dark and the holos surrounding them faded away.

John glared at him.

“Thanks a lot,” he spat. “I thought you were here to fly, not cause a crash.”

Alan rolled his eyes. “If one sentence is all it takes to trash your concentration, you’re not much of a pilot,” he retorted. “I told you, this takes teamwork. You’re wasting your time practising like this if you’re going to refuse to work with us at the other end.”

“They don’t want me to work with them anyway,” spat John. “Neither did you, last I checked.”

“I’m sorry it happened like that,” said Alan. “I won’t make excuses, there’s nothing to say. Just… John, I am sorry. And I miss hanging out with you.”

John didn’t look at him. Alan waited, biting his tongue in order to refrain from filling the uncomfortable silence. He held his breath, counting in threes, then sixes, then eights to fill in the passing seconds.

“You don’t know what it’s like,” John mumbled. “I woke up in this nightmare, home’s gone, Dad’s dead, and my own family doesn’t want me. They want some other guy, who looks like me and acts like me, but he’s not me.”

John shook his head. “He’s so far beyond anything I can ever do.”

He looked up at Alan, the hurt swimming in his eyes. “I just want to go home.”

Alan swallowed, a tight lump leaving his mouth dry.

“I can’t get you home,” he whispered. “But John, I want you. I love you. You’re my big brother, you can do anything.”

John blinked rapidly, lips trembling.

“I’m not your big brother anymore, Alan.”

He collapsed forward, and Alan instinctively reached out, refusing in this moment to pull away, no matter what his brothers might do in his place.

“We’re on the same team,” said Alan, his arms tight around John. “Don’t forget that. We are on your side. No matter what happens.”

[booksandabeer]

Stucky Recs: Road Trips!

Well, well, well. Look at that! After only three months of constant whining about having no time to do it, I've finally managed to put together a new rec list! Yay.

The theme of this list was requested by multiple people and really, who doesn't love a good road trip story, right? And let me tell you, there are so many good ones, this post could've been twice as long. I'm actually already hoarding fics in my little folder to do a part two later this year.

But for now, please enjoy my effusive ramblings about the following 10 Road Trip fics + 1 Rail Trip fic:

🚗 you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all by biblionerd07 | T, 15K

Author's summary: Steve and Bucky aren't really much of a Steve and Bucky anymore these days. Steve's sure it's because Bucky doesn't see himself as the same guy who used to love Steve. In a desperate attempt to prove him wrong, Steve begs Bucky to go on a road trip together, the way they used to dream about, and does his best to remind Bucky of who he is.

A post-CW canon divergent fic that's in a lot of ways very soft, but with just enough of an edge to keep things interesting and the reader uncertain as to how everything will play out in it. This starts with a somewhat disaffected Bucky who has not (yet) regained all of his memories and a Steve who, in his desperation to reconnect with him, tries so hard but ends up saying and doing all the wrong things. As they travel around the country, they both find ways to let go and to unlearn and relearn each other. Features moments of heart melting yet tongue-in-cheek sappiness (so the absolute best kind of sappiness) and a fun background Sam/T'Challa pairing.

🚗 a black sky prickled with small lights by emilywithoutY | M, 26K

Author's summary: There's this: The July heat. A wide open road. An obnoxious country song on the radio. Bucky in the driver’s seat.

Or: Two hundred-year-old men and their Great American Road Trip

The ultimate, unashamed Steve-and-Bucky-visit-the-Grand-Canyon wish-fulfillment fantasy—and I mean that in the best possible way. The summer road trip vibes are impeccable. This is technically the third part in the Litanies series, but it absolutely works as a standalone. However, if you ask me whether you should read the entire series, the answer is obviously a resounding yes. It's not only one of the best EG-Fix-Its I've read but also comes with an additional fun and sexy twist on how to get these two to finally get their heads out of their asses. Anyway, in this installment, they have already done that and now they get to enjoy the road, their freedom, and most of all, each other. Includes: healing along the way, long overdue conversations, and the attempt to reconcile the joy of finally having all that time with the bittersweet reality of having all that time.

🚗 Blue Moon by what_alchemy | E, 15K

Author's summary: "Now are you gonna run away with me or not, Rogers?”

God, this story (this author, really)! I’ve read this fic so many times I’ve lost count. It features one of my favorite post-WS characterizations of Bucky. One where he's still—somehow after everything—a romantic at heart, but also clear-eyed and unsentimental enough about certain things to not shy away from laying out some uncomfortable truths for Steve and the reader alike (there’s one line in particular that is seared into my brain and every time I read it I personally feel so called out). Steve may be a bit more cautious and softer about it, but oh, he gives back just as good. Nobody is handling anyone with kid gloves here. A story about learning how to be together (again), defining one's very own version of 'Happy Ever After', and about being very much in love, and also very horny for each other.

🚗 Not Language but a Map (The Grammar of Sensation) by dorian_burberrycanary | E, 20K

Author's summary: Steve has never felt right running away from a fight, even if the fight is with unanswered questions. But it’s not running if it’s a road trip and the oldest, thorniest unanswered question is along for the ride.

If you follow my blog you will probably already know that I am head over heels in love with this entire EG-Fix-It Series. This third story is finished, but Steve & Bucky's road trip continues in part 4, which is currently being posted (updates weekly). I believe this fic can be read as a standalone but, really, why would you deprive yourself of even a single word of this absolutely magnificent series? Every word, every detail, every narrative choice feels deliberate and well thought out. It's a masterclass in subtle storytelling and yet so rich in its themes, characterizations and descriptions of people, places, and food. This fic will make you hungry in so many different ways. A lot happens between the lines which may require some patience at times, but when the emotional payoff hits—it really, really hits. I cannot recommend this enough. Spectacular all around.

🚗 where the days are longer by endofadream | E, 13K

Author's summary: And maybe that’s what they’re running from. Those ghosts. That minefield. The suffocating pressure to live up to who they used to be when who they used to be has now become stale, recycled words in textbooks and museums and clickbait online articles.

They fuck off to the coast, trying to put as many miles between them and D.C. as possible. New York is loud and claustrophobic at the best of times, but California has the open skies and roads that make Steve ease a little more into his skin.

I have such an immense fondness for this story. There are some very minor problems with shifting POV in the first chapter, but please don't let this deter you from giving this story a chance—it's got so much heart. This is a slow and meandering piece that can be best summed up as: Steve and Bucky being so very much in love. Set in some undefined period post-CATWS, in a world where the events of Civil War never happened, Steve and Bucky decide they’re tired of fighting and conforming to what everyone else wants them to be and just get in a car and drive all the way to California. There, they start figuring out how to live in the future while also accepting that they can never quite leave the past behind, and that time, indifferent to the tragedies of (not quite) mortal men, will inevitably keep marching on—whether they want it to or not. To quote directly from the story itself: They’re both men out of time, so they make their own.

🚗 Lightning in a Bottle by odetteandodile | E, 63K

Author's summary: The problem, Steve thinks, isn’t so much his motorcycle giving up the ghost on a lonely stretch of highway through a lonely stretch of the country. He doesn’t mind stretching his legs or the prospect of hitchhiking.The problem is the roiling black blanket of storm clouds slowly spreading itself over the landscape headed his direction…

Steve Rogers is looking to hitch on a highway abandoned by everyone smart enough to avoid a looming storm. Bucky Barnes is the professional storm chaser who offers him a ride. It gets more complicated from there. 

This AU offers an intriguing twist on the The Road Trip as a genre, Shrunkyclunks as a trope, and modern!Bucky as a character—it's an electric ride from start to finish—in more ways than one… *wiggles eyebrows* ...yeah ok, I’ll see myself out. It was either this or something about 'chasing all kinds of storms together' and I just couldn’t resist. Anyway, this story is a clever and unique take on canon events (not just limited to the CA movies!) and I don’t really want to give too much away and spoil all the fun, so I’ll just say this: If you are in the mood for a thrilling sci-fi/adventure/romance hybrid-story with beautiful evocative writing, characters that actually act like the smart, competent grown-ups they supposedly are, sex scenes that are both hot and emotional, and a touch of spy/mission fic to go along with a free crash course in weather phenomena—this is the fic for you!  

🚗 The Only Familiar Thing by brideofquiet | E, 39K

Author's summary: Steve takes a breath, steels himself, and asks, “Where are we going, Buck?”

Bucky raises an eyebrow. “You’re the one driving, Steve.”

And before Steve can protest, Bucky gives him that broad, toothy grin again. The worry pitted in his stomach ebbs, and he decides—what the hell? Why not? Steve pulls his helmet on and swings a leg over the bike. Bucky settles in behind him, and he cranks the engine to life.

A Post-CATWS fic, in which Bucky has returned to Steve after being on the run for a while. They are together, share an apartment in Brooklyn, and Bucky has regained most of his memories—so yay! All good, right? Well, things are going…uh...let's say they're going. See, Steve and Bucky are still very much in love—the thing is, they're pretty good at the being in love part but pretty awful at the talking about it (and everything else that matters) part. So much so that they accidentally on purpose non-communicate and out-stubborn each other into going on a road trip, where things will eventually—inevitably—come to a head. Throughout the trip, the tension between them builds and builds until finally they have to admit that sometimes being partners, lovers, best friends, and knowing someone better than anybody else in the world, still doesn't mean that you can *actually* read their mind. Sometimes you gotta use your words. The author skillfully manages to create a story that treats its characters and their conflict seriously, while also infusing it with a healthy dose of humor and romance to always keep the readers on the right side of 'frustrated' (i. e. invested, not irritated).

🚗 old college try by kafkian | E, 19K

Author's summary: Bucky wonders if it’ll ever stop feeling like stealing: Steve Rogers, Captain America, the hope of a nation tucked into Bucky’s right hand. It’s the heist of the century.

In which Bucky Barnes remembers himself, Steve, and what it means to be selfish – not necessarily in that order.

Another old favorite of mine. Set post-CACW, this fic starts with a recently defrosted Bucky and a somewhat unmoored Steve in Wakanda, as they try to figure out what to do next: Keep fighting the never-ending wars of other people or run away, see the world, and retire to a quiet life? Well, since this is a road trip fic, I think you can guess which option they go for. It's a beautifully written story about Steve and Bucky's journey across continents and decades, and their ultimate arrival in a life that they never dared to hope they could have one day. This was written in 2016, so right between the fanfic avalanche caused by TWS and the frenzy of EG-Fix-Its. Re-reading this for the first time in quite a while made me realize that—aside from being a fantastic story in its own right—it's also an interesting commentary on popular Stucky fics that came before it (you can see clear influences but also some gentle rebuttals to popular fanon of the time) as well as very much a product of its time. And I don't mean that in a negative or disrespectful way at all, but simply, that it also serves as a fandom artifact; a text that reveals and reacts to certain trends, shifting attitudes, and developments in Stucky fanfiction over the years. Either way it's definitely well worth a read.

🚗 The Long Way: A Stucky Fancomic by BeaArthurPendragon, LittleWolf82 | T

Authors' summary: After Thanos is defeated, Steve doesn't stay in the past. This is the story of where he and Bucky go next.

A little something different here: a road trip fancomic! And oh, it's only one of my favorite fic writers teaming up with one of my favorite artists—what's not to love? This is an EG-Fix-It that simply ignores the last five minutes that Ruined It All and instead tells the story of what could've or should've happened to Steve and Bucky after EG. A story that is infinitely kinder and truer to these characters. Sweetly told and beautifully drawn—an absolutely wonderful collaboration.

🚗 i need a forest fire by tomorrowsrain | T, 65K

Author's summary: In which Tony Stark makes a reckless decision, becomes a wanted fugitive, goes on the run with the former Winter Soldier, and learns how to forgive. For his part, Bucky Barnes is just trying to hold himself together. AU, post-Civil War.

This is the only fic on this rec list that does not have Bucky and Steve going on a journey but instead it's Bucky and...Tony. WAIT! Hey, come back! I know that for a lot of Steve and/or Bucky fans the idea of reading a 65K fic that heavily features Tony Stark does not really sound like an enticing prospect. BUT! Hear me out. This is a fic that runs with one of the core concepts of fix-it fanfiction, which is: What if these characters actually talked to each other for a change? And yes, it gets messy and complicated and often painful—nothing is glossed over and no one is let off the hook easy. What you get here is a fantastically written story that is simultaneously an intimate & slow character study of both Bucky and Tony, a grand sweeping road trip fic with a thrilling plot that will have you on the edge of your seat (there is a moment in this where I really thought it was all over), AND a decade spanning tale of epic love. If you're worried that there is too little Stucky or Steve in this, don't be. Even before he shows up around the halfway mark of the fic, Steve is very much present the entire time. It's incredible what the author pulls off here. This is one of my all-time favorite fics. I love it a totally not normal amount.

🚂 Will There be Any Freight Trains in Heaven? by phoenixflight | E, 56K

Author's summary: It's summer of 1934, a quarter of all Americans are unemployed, and record numbers of migrant workers are hopping freight trains to seek their fortune out west. What are two boys from Brooklyn to do?

Or, Steve and Bucky ride the rails, become socialists, and fall in love, in no particular order.

This story is a bit of an outlier on this list because not only is it the only fic that's set in the pre-war period, it's also not strictly a road trip fic, but a rail trip fic. Usually the road trips in these stories are either (1) a last ditch effort at saving a friendship/relationship, (2) a way of finding oneself and/or making peace with one's past, or (3) the 'we survived all this and here we are together in the future, so let's go and actually see some of that world we fought so hard to save' victory lap. The impetus for travel in this fic, however, is born out of sheer necessity. It's the height of the Great Depression and Steve and Bucky are really poor and really desperate—so desperate even that they're willing to leave behind Brooklyn, their families, and their lives as they know it to go look for work in the West. This is not a fic that's always easy to read, circumstances are dire, attitudes are, ahem, authentic to the period, and the nostalgia-tinted glasses about the good old days before the war will get firmly knocked off your face. It's also a story that will show you time and time again that sometimes you will find kindness, love and almost overwhelming humanity in the places you least expect it. And listen, if period accuracy and a very political Steve Rogers do not convince you, let me tell you that there's also a lot of pining in this. So. Much. Pining.

Ok. This was fun.

Next up: Short fics under 10K

[satvpsandowns]

I'm rereading Blue Lock after watching Episode Nagi in cinemas and I'm already at the end of Manshine vs Bastard and I keep finding new questions and answers regarding Reo and Nagi's relationship. It's so interesting. I love both of them so much, I never thought I'd get invested again in manga characters and their development.

This is my small rambling, a way to put into words what I've gotten so far.

Nagi was so angry and confused during the second selection while Reo was sad and a bit lost. I felt so bad for Nagi, he was excited while playing with Isagi, they gained Barou and Chigiri, then Isagi left, and he had to face being alone while having broken up with Reo a couple of matches ago.

After the u-20 game, Reo was trying to get back to his original plan and dream and Nagi...we still don't know that much yet, but their relationship was tense.

The Manshine game was a great battle field to showcase the new Reo, to prove his new polished weapons, he made the opening shot, and tried, for the first time, to directly work towards his ideal self: the all rounder, versatile midfielder.

Isagi and Reo's relationship has always been interesting to me. They don't insult each other, they have a certain level of respect, maybe because both are similar (overthinkers, playmakers, "average not-so-average"). But they are rarely in the same wavelength, I mean, Isagi doesn't know that much about Nagi and Reo's relationship, so he misses a couple of layers in Reo's dialogue, he sees Reo independently, so that's why I loved this game, he kept acknowledging Chigiri's and Reo's improvements: the 44 golden zone and metavision, respectively.

MC vs BM proved to the reader that Reo is a strong player, a threat, while still being insecure about his abilities, his style and his talent. In sum, a latent potential of greatness. Reo acknowledges Isagi back as someone who keeps changing and evolving in better versions of himself, he knows he's on his way too but then, Nagi happens.

I found this turn understandable. Nagi was frustrated, he said he wanted to defeat Isagi because it was the freshest problem in his mind, the easiest to articulate. Even Prince "was weirded tf out", even Reo was like "..." I'm not sure what else happened in his head (let's wait for EpiNagi ig ;_;) but he saw how strong his team was, how confident they were playing, how good Reo had gotten.

His request to Reo, the "I need you" was the breaking point. Reo was still in the process of relearning himself. Getting what you formerly wanted so desperately hits different depending on your mental state. And Reo's mental state wasn't at his best yet. The reader tends to, sort of, know whose character has already wrapped up the key points in their development, and I take Isagi and Reo's comments on each other as an affirmation of "work in progress".

So Nagi verbalising his dream, what he wanted, shook Reo's focus. And I don't blame any of them. Reo wanted to be needed by Nagi, his first friend, his partner who made his dream feel achievable, while Nagi wanted to feel the warmth and comfort (and fun) of playing soccer and getting challenged. Both wanted to feel like protagonists, just like Isagi said.

There was a chance and they took it. They succeeded immediately, and just as easy, old and new problems unfolded. Only this time, Reo seems more ready to battle on his own.

Again, Isagi's "teenage drama combo" commentary gives the reader a clue: that comfort and having a soft spot for each other is not really a problem. It's a pillar for development, a tool, but not the only one, as it can be easily read at NEL level.

So after getting back together and tying the game, Isagi recognizes Reo's metavision, but some pages later, he pushes and stops Nagi and tells him he had surpassed him. This time Nagi doesn't seem to mind, for his dream of defeating Isagi was accomplished with his "revolutionary five volley shot" or something like that. This crystallises the new problem: they might be on good terms again but it can only last so much, it may last even less. And as a reader and someone who likes both characters so much for what they, individually, entail thematically, I'm anxious and excited.

In a few words, Reo has a soft spot for Nagi, and Reo is like a compass to Nagi. That's a given. Both respect, recognize and value each other to a degree that's just SO DAMN SWEET. 

[gabessquishytum]

just to flip the age kink thing, i've got a suggestion for how they'd have hob as the younger one. hob's getting to the point where he needs to start his next life and he decides that he wants to keep teaching but wants to change up the subject this time. there's a grad program he's really interested in so he figures he'll do that and then teach the subject, he starts crafting his next identity, and dream's so interested in the process since he hasn't seen hob doing this before. he sees the age hob's going for and offers some help -- he could make everyone perceive hob as younger, so he'd be able to get longer out of this identity.

hob, of course, is thrilled. he starts off as young as he can, of course, but it's been centuries since hob's even tried to pass himself off as 22. he could pull it off when people lived harder, but it just doesn't work anymore. dream makes a couple more suggestions -- hob's used June 7th as his birthday before, it sort of is in a way. now tgat he and dream use it as their anniversary he would have picked a different date but hey, if that's the date dream thinks he should go with, no big deal.

so hob goes off back to school, he's having a great time, he's sort of loving pretending to be in his 20s again. his friends do give him odd looks when they see him with dream, though. that's fine -- dream is, frankly, odd. it's probably nothing. until he starts seeing how dream's presenting himself to others and... yeah, the first time hob sees the dusting of silver hair at dream's temples, he drops to his knees to suck dream's cock in the stacks of the uni library. it's fine. he has very normal feelings about it. it's fine.

he's not totally clear on the specifics of the game dream's playing until the end of his first year, though, when dream mentions, in careful earshot of a few of hob's more gossipy classmates, that he'll plan something nice for hob's birthday. it's their anniversary, after all, and five years is a number worth celebrating. hob doesn't realize until later that dream just made sure all hob's classmates know that he got together with his significantly older and significantly wealthy boyfriend on his 18th birthday. and that dream's been supplying most of hob's wardrobe again. and giving him jewellery. and keeping hob at his side any time they're in public together. and that maybe there's a reason he keeps getting carefully worded questions about his relationship, because dream has very intentionally made him look like a pretty young thing being taken advantage of by an older man. hob needs dream to fuck him about this immediately, actually.

(it also occurs to hob, once dream's fucked him through the mattress while calling him little one and darling boy and pet, that this is. probably how gods and fey and other immortals actually do see a relationship between dream of the endless and a human. and gets turned on about it all over again.)

-🐈‍⬛

This is literally what I look like right now. Oh my fucking gOD

I don't. I don't know how to add to this? Hnnngg. Dream with grey in his hair, treating Hob like his little plaything, making Hob’s friends somewhere between concerned and jealous. It's making my mouth go dry.

I think you might have finally bit the "horny overload" switch in my brain, my darling.

ffffffuck.

I'm just thinking about Dream renting a fancy apartment for Hob to live in while he's studying. He comes home from the dreaming every day, and Hob’s friends skedaddle from what ever study club they've been doing (they're a little intimidated by Dream, although hes nothing but polite). Dream gets to have Hob all to himself for the evening, gets to relearn Hob’s body as it hasn't been for a very long time. Being physically 22 has a lot of advantages when it comes to joint flexibility and sexual stamina, and Dream wants to enjoy them to the fullest. Hob is very much immersed in the fantasy of being Dream’s kept boy, and he likes the attention, he likes it when Dream showers him in gifts. He keeps Dream updated on his grades and soaks up all the praise and sweet talk Dream lavishes on him. They go to the opera together, or to fancy restaurants where Dream publicly shows Hob off to absolutely everyone. And the sex afterwards is just insane. Hob rides Dream’s cock in the limo on the way home, or sucks him off in the dressing rooms of fancy boutiques.

They have literally all the time in the world to be horny and stupid and I, for one, want to see it.

[perrydowning]

A Path to Hope that Works for Me

We all know humanity does this thing where it has to relearn the same lesson over and over again. Just like individuals, it feels like. I've been relearning many things I thought I'd figured out in my 20s. At first it was so discouraging, I'd already done this! Plus, at 47, it is so cringe. Yet, though I'm having to learn things anew, it turns out that each lesson, though the same color, is such a deeper shade.

History repeats itself, duh. And it's easy to fall into despair, that place where everything feels pointless. Why even bother if human beings are just gonna fuck it up again? Experiencing myself making the exact same mistakes from my youth certainly made me wonder if I just wasn't worth the effort.

But then I started to notice that I was understanding myself so much better and that I was practicing. Learning in a whole new way. It's a bit like re-reading a beloved novel. Every time through, you see more and more, it speaks to you differently as you gather more experiences.

What if humanity, as a massive group identity, is like that, too? Yeah, we're repeating the same mistakes, sometimes with a truly grotesque rhyming scheme. The stakes are also about as high as it gets, as opposed to a cossetted widow's therapeutic journey.

Though, I believe we are learning. In the last, I dunno, couple hundred years, we've (I'm speaking of a human average, not all humans) gone from the concept of universal human rights being incomprehensible to something most nations at least acknowledge might be a thing, even if they hate it. That's some pretty significant growth, from a certain point of view.

I was raised without religion, so it's always felt above my pay grade. But I do have faith--deep and abiding. That faith is in humanity. How? you might ask given that the world is on fire, could I possibly believe in us?

I'm going to borrow from western faith traditions here. Those massive medieval cathedrals, that were begun sometimes over a thousand years ago, they took generations to build. The masons who built the foundation knew they would never see the spire, nor the next generation. Or the next. But they did that without even a standard unit of measurement and those soaring monuments to human achievement are still here. That happened because each wave of builders crafted the best bricks they could.

I find my hope in that. I know I'll never see the spire, but I can make the best brick I know how to make so that it supports the next builders.

The spire gets all the attention--not unlike Great Leaders in History--but it needs all those beautiful, mundane bricks to reach for the sky.

I'm just gonna work on my brick. Maybe I'll even be able to make two.

[izicodes]

Hiya! My name is Izzy-Loa, and a Jr Web Developer and today, I thought it would be a great idea to just share my own personal coding journey! I have answered a lot of asks in the past about how I recommend other people to start their coding studies, what websites to learn from and roadmaps etc. But one question I kept having to repeat myself answering is the "Okay how did you get started?" - it is completely my fault not writing this down properly~! (I did actually)

Anyhoo, I'll just speed through my journey, sharing what I learnt at what times and what I'm currently doing now! ✨

☆ Starting from Scratch

I started coding back in 2017 during the summer break when I was just 15 years old. At that time, I didn't even know what coding was! It was my dad who suggested that I learn HTML. I hesitated at first, thinking HTML was some "complex high-level programming language". Little did I know, it was just a markup language...

I started with HTML and then moved on to CSS during that summer. However, once school started in September, I set coding aside and forgot about it. The following year, 2018, I decided to give it another shot and relearned HTML and CSS. But again dropped it because of school work and upcoming exams!

☆ The Turning Point

Fast forward to 2020, a year that marked a turning point!. I started creating websites using HTML and CSS. I briefly played with JavaScript but decided to focus on mastering HTML and CSS.

In January 2021, I made a significant decision. I dropped out of school due to personal reasons and decided to fully commit to programming, plus getting my first remote job (non-Tech). From there, I gradually delved into JavaScript a lot more and even dabbled in Python along the way. My learning process was on and off, but I was making progress! Around this time I learnt Git and GitHub!

☆ The Apprenticeship

Around September/October time, I applied for an apprenticeship. My skill set included HTML, CSS, Python, and basic JavaScript. I got accepted and continued to learn Python, delving into C# and Java as well. It was a challenging but rewarding experience! Happily dropped Java towards the end!

At work, I also learned SQL, working with Microsoft SQL Server and MySQL. I even explored .NET Framework and ASP.NET. It was a lot to take in, but I embraced the learning process! The older developers at the workplace were super helpful and very experienced - felt as though they were happy to give me all their knowledge as best they could~!

☆ Expanding My Knowledge

During my apprenticeship, around October 2022, I decided to further expand my skills. I enrolled in a front-end bootcamp, where I revisited HTML, CSS, and JavaScript. I also learned jQuery, Node.js, npm, and even ventured into React. Though, due to not practising it enough, I forgotten React and Node.js~!

☆ My Ongoing Journey

Currently, I'm continuing to explore Python and experimenting with Lua. I'm also revisiting JavaScript, jQuery, and recently, I've started working with SCSS (Sass) to streamline my CSS development - I highly recommend people in Web Development to learn SCSS!! I love it so much!

Looking ahead, my learning wishlist includes TypeScript, React, Vue.js, Angular, and C++. However, I'm not rushing into learning everything at once. I'm taking my time to absorb each language and framework thoroughly.

In summary, it has been a continuous evolution, from HTML and CSS to SQL, .NET Framework, and various other languages and tools. I've faced challenges and taken LOTS of breaks, but each step has brought me closer to becoming a proficient developer. I want to be better! But slowly and in good time!

Hope this was somewhat helpful to other people and yeah, have a nice day/night!

⤷ ○ ♡ my shop ○ my twt ○ my youtube ○ pinned post ○ blog's navigation ♡ ○

[george-weasleys-girl]

Ok but I need part 2 where reader has made a full recovery, and is back to work when Fred visits her at work. 😌 https://www.tumblr.com/george-weasleys-girl/714182415276441600/hi-could-you-write-a-little-something-on-the-war

The Next Level

Sequel to Aftermath

~•~

"Lunch delivery!" Fred announced as he stepped into Shacklebolt's office, holding up a pizza from their favorite pizzeria. Y/N looked up from her work, and the smile that spread across her face lit up the room.

"What a wonderful surprise! You didn't tell me you were stopping by," she said, rising to greet him, a noticeable limp in her step.

Fred's smile faltered for only a second, but Y/N still noticed the shift.

"I'm fine, love, the pain's minimal today. It's nothing I can't handle," she put a hand around the nape of his neck, pulling him in for a brief, gentle kiss. "Now c'mon, I'm starved, and that pizza smells divine."

Fred followed her over to her desk, where she cleared off a stack of paperwork and then, with a flick of her wand, produced two plates and two Butterbeers. It was good to have some time alone together. Or, really, any time at all. For three months, Fred had been glued to Y/N's side as she healed and relearned to walk. He'd even moved back to the Burrow just so he could help take care of her. It was one of the happiest times of his life, in spite of everything else going on.

But things changed after Y/N returned to work, and then a couple weeks later, Fred and George reopened the shop, prompting him to move back into the apartment. Now, they barely saw each other anymore, and being apart proved to be far more difficult than the older twin expected. He missed her more than he thought possible, and, of course, he still worried about her. How was her pain? Was she sleeping well? Was she making sure she didn't overexert herself? But, most of all, this had been the longest they'd been apart since they became friends all those years ago, and he was going crazy without her. So, after a great deal of thought and discussing things with George, he decided it was time to take their relationship to the next level.

Y/N reached out and squeezed Fred's hand. "I'm so glad you came by. I miss you. I feel like we never get to see each other these days."

"You just read my mind, babe," Fred smiled. "And I've been thinking--," he paused, chewing on his lip. He'd not intended to bring the subject up until he was over at the Burrow for dinner on Friday night, but now that the moment had presented itself, he decided to just go for it.

"Yes?" Y/N's head was titled with her eyebrows scrunched together, giving him the most adorable quizzical look.

Fred couldn't help but chuckle. "Y/N, you're the cutest person on the planet."

"Oh, um, thanks," she giggled. "Is that what you've been thinking about?"

"Every time I see you," Fred smiled, then kissed her hand. "But it's not what I wanted to talk to you about right now."

Y/N grinned. "Didn't think so."

Fred took a sip of butterbeer before continuing. "So, yeah. I've been thinking. I don't really fancy not seeing you every day anymore. And I wanted to talk to you about changing that."

"Okay," Y/N said. "I'm game. What did you have in mind?"

"I want you to move in with me."

Y/N was about to take a bite of pizza but froze at his words.

"Me?"

Fred looked around the room. "I don't see anyone else here. Yes, of course you, love."

"Move in with you?"

Fred nodded. "Uh huh, what do you think?"

Y/N smiled from ear to ear. "I think I need to take the rest of the afternoon off so I can start packing up my stuff."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes!"

Fred lept up over the desk and pulled her into a kiss just seconds before Shacklebolt's deep voice startled them apart, both their faces turning a brilliant crimson.

"Ah, young love," he said, stepping into the room.

"Oh hi," Y/N fumbled. "I wasn't expecting you until later this afternoon."

Shacklebolt chuckled. "I gathered that."

"You know, I should probably be going," Fred said, turning to Y/N's boss. "Sorry, it's all my f--"

"Nonsense," Shacklebolt, interjected, waving away Fred's comment. "Enjoy your lunch, I'm only here because I forgot the Edgecombe file."

"Oh! You'll definitely be needing that," Y/N said and went to pull it from the filing cabinet while Fred sat back down on his side of the desk.

"Thank you, my dear," Shacklebolt said, moving to leave, but then, paused in the doorway and turned back to them. "Oh, and congrats on moving into together."

They both turned to stare at him.

"H-how long were you listening?" Y/N asked.

"Long enough," he replied with a wink before disappearing out the door.

Y/N and Fred gave her boss just enough time to get out of earshot before they looked back at each other and burst out laughing.

~•~

@milivanili99 @fancy-pantaloons @turvi @zvummyummy @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @georgie-weasley @imshiningjustforyou @nighttimemoonlover @jsjcue @wzrd-wheezes @fredweasleyyyyy @hufflepuffie @alexistonks @princess-paramour @anvaaryn @lastwandastan @samshifts @asuperconfusedgirl @superduckmilkshake @mysticsheepsoul @gemofthenight @1lellykins @junerprsh @sierraluvz

[turnstileskyline]

RockSound June 3rd, 2024 – Dallon Weekes Interview (Transcript under the cut)

hello all!!!! i am still taking a little tumblr break (gonna upload and dip) but my copy of the rocksound idkhow issue came so i wanted to get these photographed and transcribed because i know i have shaky hands. (if you spot any mistakes let me know and i'll fix them asap!)

Taking Over The World (One Show At A Time)

As they close out their UK headline tour, IDHKOW's Dallon Weekes reflects on the lessons learned from taking 'Gloom Division' out on the road.

Words James Wilson-Taylor

Photos Corinne Cumming

Now that the UK tour has come to an end, how are you reflecting on this latest run of shows? Well the shows were fantastic. All of the crowds were great and it was really exciting to be back there after, you know, COVID and the album delays and everything. It's felt like it was forever since we've been back. But to be able to go back with this new lineup that I have, it was pretty special. Because I feel like the live show has grown a lot. Being able to add more live musicians to it, and rely less upon synth tracks and things like that. To have people up on stage actually doing it live, we're a little more untethered, which, must like that tour itself, was pretty chaotic. But we seem to thrive on chaos. So it worked out. It was really fun.

Did it click together quite quickly with the new band? What were the initial live rehearsals like? It was really fun for me. My heart goes out to the guys who are playing for me because they had this whole catalogue of music to learn before we hit the road, but they are such professionals and so talented too and most of them live here around Utah where I'm from. Anthony, my guitar player, still is in LA. But whenever shows come up, he flies out here so we get some proper full band rehearsals. But to be able to have really professional musicians dig into the songs and learn how to play them and have some input as well is really invaluable to me because I always really enjoy when a live show has tiny deviations from the recorded versions of the album that you might have in your collection. Sometimes bands can go a little too far from that and it can be fun sometimes. But it can also be a bummer, it kind of depends on the song, I guess. But I like having small moments or extended bits, or maybe an idea that you got post recording an album, when you're all jamming it together and someone does something cool. And you go, 'Dammit, I wish that was on the record'. So you just put it in the live show and it makes for a cool experience, I think.

With the added band members, it gives you a little extra freedom to step away from the bass at moments and explore your position as a frontman. It feels good, but it's interesting too, because that was never on my bucket list. I never had that in mind for my life to be a frontman, or a lead singer. I just always wanted to make music and write and record and have that be my job. I've been lucky enough to have achieved that goal. But, you know, circumstances being what they are, I eventually landed into that role without having it as a goal, but it's something that I do enjoy. It's something I did years ago with Brobecks. But between then and now it's been more than a decade. So I think it took me a minute to sort of relearn that role and find myself in that role again, and luckily once it started rolling, it didn't take long for me to find that footing again. But there was that learning curve where I tried to remember how to be in this spot, rather than just filling a spot on the side of that stage just playing bass. So yeah, it's been fun to be able to put it down every once in a while and have a little more freedom to wander around or spill water bottles all over the stage, which is a bad habit of mine.

It also allows for a nice relationship with the audience. I mean, that's something you've always had – it almost feels like a conversation in places. It's a little secret club in a way for all these fans. That was the impetus when it started. Because this was a secret project, no one was supposed to know about it. And I really had no goals in mind for it other than to get some music out of my head and play it for a bunch of strangers that didn't know what other bands I'd ever been in and see if that art that I was making could stand on it's own two feet without waving some giant flag saying, 'Hey, everybody, I was in this band before, come and see what I'm doing.' There was something about that which felt really disingenuous and kind of gross to me. So starting this project in secret with this ridiculous band name that no one could ever find appealing made a lot of sense at the time. But as things snowballed – and what a wonderful problem to have, I'm talking about this like it's some sort of bad thing but it's not, it's a great thing – eventually it became too late to choose a more sensible band name. But, you know, band names are ridiculous anyway, so who cares? I guess the secret is just to not care. But yeah, finding that role again. It took a minute, but it's been a lot of fun. I'm enjoying it a lot.

In terms of the newer songs in the set, did playing them live and seeing the audience reaction change your opinion about them at all? It's a similar feeling for both me and the audience. Because the way that writing and recording music works now is different from how it was 20 years ago. You used to write your song, go out and play it every night, workshop it, tighten the screws on it, and then you go record it and put on a record. Now, with Youtube and streaming services and bootlegs and things, you have to keep a tight lid on this new stuff that you're working on until it's been officially released. So now, you write your song and you record it and then you learn how to play it afterwards. So taking those out into the world for the first time on stage after you've recorded it, I think it's a new experience for the audience and for the performers as well, because you get a handle on this new thing that you've already recorded. Then night by night, kind of like I mentioned before, someone might do something different. The song sort of evolves and changes a little bit from the way that you recorded it. I think there's a lot of fun to be had in that. Sometimes those things can only happen once you are in front of people and playing those songs. It's all a really organic process and I really enjoy that.

I guess the other thing you had to consider was how best to balance this new material, which pushed you into some new places musically, with the older songs that everybody knows. It's become a challenge now because when this thing started, I hadn't recorded or released anything. It was about four or five months of playing dive bars in secret and just denying that this was even a thing while I was recording. Then by the time we did have something out there, I think we put a song on YouTube first with no record label, no radio, nothing. Then that song just kind of took off. Then we were expected to fill an hour whenever we would go on tour and we had only released five songs. So learning that frontman role and stretching bits out and filling in our set with some covers and maybe some old Brobecks songs, that was the challenge. Now, the challenge has become picking a setlist that has bits and pieces of stuff that you love and that the audience would appreciate from the past and from the current record. So it's a different challenge now, but it's one that I'm enjoying. Revisiting stuff that is important to me from the past and things that I really like playing and stuff that the audience either needs to hear, because we're promoting it, or is stuff that I know they have responded to well in the past and that they'd like to hear. So it's a combination of different factors to make a decent setlist, I think, but I try to keep all that stuff in mind.

One particularly special moment at the London show was when Will Joseph Cook joined you onstage to perform your collaboration "Sunnyside'. That was fun. He's a London boy. The algorithm sent me some of his music a couple of years back and it was a song called 'Take Me Dancing', one of his songs from maybe four or five years ago. It was one of those songs that when you hear it as a songwriter, it's so good that it kind of pisses you off, you know? Dammit, that's good. So I reached out to him to see if he wanted to collaborate on some stuff, and it's been a great working relationship ever since. Then we just pass each other ideas back and forth all the time. He hit me up and asked if he could come to the London show and I said, 'Why don't you come out on stage and we'll sing this 'Sunnyside' song that we to wrote together'. He's like, fuck yeah, so we hooked up a spare microphone and ran it on soundcheck and then brought them out on stage for the set. It was a lot of fun to be able to do that. To play it live with the person who helped cowrite that was pretty special.

So you see that collaborative relationship continuing on more songs in the future? We hung out pretty much all day that day backstage and showed each other ideas that we have floating around. After I got home, I send him some more songs. So yeah, we're definitely going to keep that collaborative working relationship going. He's a good young man with a bright future.

You have also been able to bring some more Brobecks songs into your setlist and put a new, IDKHOW twist on them. Are there any more of those older songs you'd like to re-record or perform again? I've got a shortlist of maybe four or five old Brobecks songs that I think never really got a proper chance to be a proper song, you know, whether that was because we didn't have enough money to record it properly or get it mixed or mastered or even release it. Then I eventually released the songs in a vacuum and no one ever really heard it. But there's four or five I think that I would still like to give a proper chance to. It's not super high on the priority list. But it is something that I'm interested in because I am a fan of songs. And you know, probably more so than albums as a whole, I'm a song man. There are a few from the past that I think had some potential. But I would probably have to consider, you know, the passage of time in between when I first wrote them as a young man and, if I did rerecord and release, now there might have to be some lyric adjustments or something because I don't know how well some lyric choices when you're 22 would go over when you're 42. So there might be some rewrites in order. But revisiting some of those I think would be fun because this project and that project, they aren't unrelated to each other. I very well could have easily called this The Brobecks. But whenever I started this, putting a period at the end of that old project seemed like the right move and moving on to something new that didn't have any baggage to carry along with it. It felt like the move. But yeah, that doesn't mean that that stuff isn't still important to me. It's still very meaningful and I really love playing old Brobecks songs and I think that I always will.

Now that you have had some time to reflect since the release of 'GLOOM DIVISION', how are you feeling about that collection of songs now? It's interesting how your perspective changes on things. When I first recorded it, and was getting ready to release it, I was so excited and I thought this was the best work that I've ever done. Then even with the good reviews that it has gotten and the fan response, there was still more mixed reviews, or mixed feelings, about it than I thought there would be. But seeing that happen has given me a sort of step back, trying to be more objective, which is hard to do when you're making art, you know, because it really is for you. That's still number one for me whenever I make art. It is for me, and I want to like the thing that I'm making. That's the most important bit and if anyone else happens to like it, that's just a really great bonus. But I made this record and I loved it and I thought that surely everyone else would too. All of my favourite records and the things that I draw inspiration from are not popular records. These are not things that were at the top of the charts. You know, even on some of my top 10 Records of all time – Elvis Costello's 'This Year's Model' or The Flaming Lips or Ben Folds Five, all of my favourite stuff, these were never people that lived at the top of the charts. So, to me, the response kind of makes sense. As long as you're making something that you like, and you're not trying to play to the gallery, then whatever their response is, so be it.

UK artists in particular seem to have always had a big influence on you. I've been a sucker for everything British since I got into the Beatles, and if it was from the 60s and it was British then I was all about it. Even in the 90s, | was a big Britpop fan. In the post grunge-90s, Britpop in America was not the cool thing to be into, but I was all about it. Blur was my favourite. I loved Pulp and I liked Oasis too. That was my shit back in the 90s while everyone else was listening to Rage Against The Machine, which I can appreciate more now. Back then, I viewed it as the stuff my older brother and his friends were into and they're all bros. So I was being kind of a little hipster about it. But I love Rage now. But yeah, back then in the 90s, again I was into stuff that wasn't living at the top of the charts.

It must have been particularly exciting to finally come over here and play shows for the first time. Yeah it was very cool to be there finally and see where rock and roll...wasn't born but where it had been fine tuned and perfected. We may have done it first but I'm always of the mindset that y'all did it best. There's no pride in regards to, you know, who did what and when. I'm a fan of what y'all do. I love it over there.

One UK show that must stick in the memory was when you played Brixton Academy in 2016 with Panic! At The Disco just after David Bowie had passed away. That must have been quite a surreal but special moment. I remember waking up in my hotel that day to the news and being hit with it harder than I probably thought I would have ever been. I'd always been a big Bowie fan, but sometimes you don't really realize how much you like something until it's gone, which is kind of fucked up. So I woke up to the news that he had died and I cried a little bit, you know, which kind of surprised me. Then I went out walking the streets, because we had a full day before we had to be at the venue for soundcheck, and his music was everywhere. Walking past that mural that's down the street from the venue where people had made this makeshift memorial, there was this awesome sense of community. That was a great reminder about the importance behind art and behind music. All of these people walking the streets, they might not share anything in common, but at least for today, or that day, everyone's sharing this art that this man made. There's something so special about that. Whenever an artist passes along from this world, you hope that your art that you make continues to be enjoyed by people and that way you get to sort of live on and still impact people. So that's the hope. I certainly hope that's the case with me and I'm sure I'm not alone in that. Playing that venue in particular, or really any historical venue where I know for sure that someone I love has played there and has walked down this staircase to the stage just like I'm doing, I always think about that right before we're about to take the stage. There's something intimidating about it and something comforting about it at the same time.

Similarly, when you played Camden Electric Ballroom with IDKHOW, that is another venue with so much history. There is a plaque outside in memory of when Prince performed there. That's another reason why I really love playing in London because there's so many choices. You throw a stone and there's a gig happening somewhere and you have your choice of just about anything under the sun that you can go see. So the fact that there are people on the other side of the world that would choose to come see this project and watch us play the songs that I write here in my basement is nothing short of a miracle to me. This last round of shows that we played over there, particularly that last show in London, to be able to have that venue full of people is so special to me and does not go unappreciated.

[brocktonbookworm]

Alright, I have quite a lot of time and a couple of books available to get invested in. I've been wanting to relearn how to analyse literature, so I thought it might be interesting to do a liveblog of one of them. Which do you recommend?

I'm aware that some of these are more political theory than something to analyse, but I already intend to read them anyways and this would give me an excuse to get started.