#and i'm still in so much pain!!!!!!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chalupaconspiracy · 1 month ago

Text

.

#vent post #suicide tw #my go to response to everything can not be “i want to die.” like great #its not like I actually want to or will follow through on it but fuck.#years worth of character growth and here I am back in fucking a middle school mindset.#like what even is the fucking point.#why am i trying to hard for people wuo do not care.#i feel so stupid.#and like I dont know what to do.#i tried to fix things and it just made them worse.#and i'm still in so much pain!!!!!!!!#just the funky little cherry on goddamned top.#its almost worse than highschool because at least then I didnt know what i was missing yet. and i didnt hurt all the time.#i could sleep for a day straight.#what is the point of getting up each day #being in more pain #and not able to find anything fun.#and being just a massive wet blanket to all my friends. for zero reason.#and then it just isolates me further.#and how stupid and petty and self fucking pitying it all is. like either get over it #have a massive spiral and get ACTUALLY in a dangerous situation #or just continue to sit and feel miserable for no reason and with no resolution.#like im not good at my job right now #im barely keeping my head above water.#like im so fucking done.#i dont know what to do or where to turn.#and im terrified that im going to fully dislocate my spine and be paralyzed.#it should not be floppy!!! it should not look like a patient with whiplash!#there is nothing to prevent it from moving out of place #so i just go about my life and hope that looking over my shoulder doesnt send me to the hospital.

2 notes · View notes

ikachap · 3 months ago

Text

Lip Syncing Test 1 let's gooooo

#ikachap #my art #for fun stuff #blockbench #low poly #charlie slimecicle #slmccl #the process of modeling this little freak was so painful #but he taught me so much...#still going to smash him with a rock once I'm done with him #work in progress #wip stuff

590 notes · View notes

buttercupshands · 3 months ago

Text

So.

Act 5, huh?

Oh, and that.

"You can start breakdown now."

Finished the game couple of days ago and had some thoughts I needed to process a little. Like. Yes.

So anyway I actually didn't plan this and just wanted to redraw some sprites to just make sure I understand how to draw Siffrin correctly (still working on that!)

What did I learn from this? How fun it it to draw on a canvas that literally doesn't let you draw with colors without some layer cheating when necessary. Never tried it.

The beans. Sleeping beans.

Basically what happens when you want to sleep AND draw. Draw characters sleeping on your behalf.

Doesn't help, but at least it's cute.

I have no idea what was going on in my mind as I drew this. Feels like a fever dream of 'I want to sleep' at 4 am and 'Hm...' of thinking random things

Also that phone craft sign. Still too funny to imagine. I had to.

#fanart #sketch #my art #isat spoilers #isat #siffrin #siffrin isat #isat loop #in stars and time #I also tried to draw the Party too! But that one sketch is too rough yet!#And I'll probably never post it it was fun to draw them tho #Anyway I had /thoughts/ playing Act 5 #Not great ones too! I would rather they stayed where I would never even know they exist #But I had to while playing so I did #So it took some time to just sit with everything also I spend a lot of time just doing achievements #One left! The annoying one.#NG+ is fun too #I'm still surprised by how much I enjoyed it #Like 'staying until 6 am playing 10 hours straight' kind of enjoyed #From 'hm I wonder what's it about' to 'yeah I cried multiple times so I think it's allowed to live in my head too'#I got sick multiple times on related and unrelated reasons while playing and planning to play that wasn't fun #Anyway it's cool have some sketches because I couldn't stop drawing last night #I love drawing characters being emotionally in pain but that requires specific mood and music to go with #And not overdoing it #Like when drawing first one 'Aishite' was on loop the whole time #It's b&w too! Red layers are added with 'paste' magic love that

618 notes · View notes

iamespecter · 20 days ago

Text

Dude I had this wild literal fever dream comic and I just had to draw it like how I saw it even though my body still hurts like hell

#ziku's insane rambles #tadc #tadc comic #the amazing digital circus #tadc fanart #pomni #caine #jax #tadc pomni #tadc caine #tadc jax #amazing digital circus #fever dream #I would count this as a nightmare personally #As much as I want Jax carnally... I would not want him to become a straight ass rabbit boy #LET HIM STAY FRUITY!!!!!!!!!!!#there was another one that was so out of context and wild and that was the one I last saw before I woke up #maybe I'll draw it too but I'm still in a world of pain

321 notes · View notes

cyberpunkboytoy · 2 months ago

Text

I see a lot of people in the Mouthwashing tag frequently listing 'keeping Curly alive' in the list of crimes Jimmy has done, implying or sometimes outright saying that not mercy-killing Curly was a cruel and unusual act...and would like to caution against that.

There's a long history of abled people deciding someone's quality of life is too horrible to merit letting them live (usually to nonverbal or otherwise 'low functioning' people lacking a clear means to communicate) and condoning the murder of disabled people under the guise of kindness. Curly is an extreme example, and one could argue he might prefer to be 'put out of his misery,' but it's important to note that we don't know, no one asks, and there's no attempt to communicate either which way.

How extreme pain and 'low quality of life' are handled are very nuanced and complicated topics, but you can never decide for someone else what kind of life isn't 'worth living.' Curly is obviously a videogame character, but these attitudes can and do affect the lives of real people & are worth being aware of.

#I say this as a disabled person who has heard ''I could never live if [condition] happened to me'' and claims my life was over #and all sorts of shit that made me think everyone would jump at the chance to put me down like a sick dog #just hits close to home so wanted to type a gentle word of caution #there's also a lot to be said about the history of disability rights and how DNRs have been used to purge us in hospitals #but i won't get into all of that for a fandom post #idk if i wrote this out well bc I'm trying not to get too In My Feelings about it but. yea #sometimes people deal with exceuciating pain & disability but would still very much like to live thank you #Mouthwashing

339 notes · View notes

poorly-drawn-mdzs · 8 months ago

Text

MDZS x ISAT part 1: In Stars and Necromancy.

(Part 2)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #MDZS AU #In stars and time #ISAT #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Double comic feature for today because they are both small.#I had a hard time coming up with a good crossover for these two series for a while but once the idea hit - Boy did it hit!#I've got a longer comic coming. The angst potential is very...very good.#Ghost YLLZ helping out mxy was painful enough but I can make it so much worse for everyone.#I can't say much without crossing into spoiler territory but I will be back.#Other notes here: LWJ is rock type. WWX/MXY are paper type. Thought it fit well B*)#YLLZ in the starry bath is 100% a reference to Eris in the sinbad movie. Her hair animation still haunts my dreams.#I'll have some 'other side of the crossover' doodles after posting a few more main comic pages. Thanks for the patience this week!#I really needed to just...draw some very self-indulgent art. I'm feeling much better now though!

630 notes · View notes

sergle · 14 days ago

Text

remembering waking up post-op after my breast reduction is SO FUNNY because it's such a wild thing to have a Fond Memory of. but I distinctly remember croaking "hell yessss" to my surgeon after he told me I was done and everything went great.

#yes I was weak yes I was in pain but I was SO happy #I was still hooked up in my arm when I woke up and got dosed for the pain pretty much immediately #as soon as I was able to answer the basic Pain Scale question that my nurse asked me #I'm pretty sure I reported a seven out of ten which was not so bad #and then she dosed me Accordingly lmao #but this is what I'm saying. I woke up in a 7/10 for pain. and I also yarfed a little from post-anesthesia nausea #and still it is such a positive memory and I was jazzed as fuck #I think it must be funny to be the surgeon in this scenario because your patient is way more excited #upon waking up from a major surgery than really anyone should be. lmao #if I had been able to raise my arms I would've high fived him.#sergle.txt #I could talk about my surgery forever. having a Positive Medical Experience is a high you never come down from

262 notes · View notes

auriidae · 6 months ago

Text

lifestuck "lowkey wanted dead by alternian society" clethubs

#zombiecleo #bdoubleo100 #ethoslab #hermitcraft #homestuck #clethubs #this was such a pain to format and it still looks weird but i can't figure out what's wrong so i'm just posting it -_-#still much better than the old refs i made for them tho!#lifestuck au #aurie's art

222 notes · View notes

echofades · 1 year ago

Text

HARLAN COBEN'S SHELTER 1.07 | Sweet Dreams are Made of This

#harlan coben's shelter #shelter #shelteredit #shira x hannah #wlwgif #wlwsource #photoset #you're the only one I've ever loved!!!#the pain in her voice when she asks her not to go away again :(#there's so much still to wrap up in one episode #I feel like/hope troy will confront her and shira and ken about what he saw and hannah will admit it #and then it's a whole mess but they can live happily ever after #maybe a nice little flash forward or something idk #I'm like 80% convinced they'll be together in the end but I'm still nervous

683 notes · View notes

ryllen · 9 months ago

Text

Look what came through the mail today! The letters & ( •̀ω•́ )σ 3 little gremlins from letterstoear.

Just wanna say i adore the flower stickers on the letters too much, they are that much worth mentioning.

#letterstoear #nui #twst #twisted wonderland #sebek zigvolt #malleus draconia #twst grim #mod posting #okay but i love squishing the bears with my thumb; they just have the right thickness to be pressed on #i really like the flower stickers; they look like romantically artistic wax seal #the letters are pleasantly nice #i love the part where cheka personally request for an audience with yuu thru sebek 🥺🥺🥹🥹 too cute hnggh .......#sebek becoming our little mailman for our little invitation aw 🥹 for those who wanna know the context of the letter;#i requested a letter from sebek that he sent home while he was away accompanying malleus on other country duty #my other favorite part is just him simply opening the letter with 'My love'#i'm sealed 🥹 the first paragraph is written so sweetly #i enjoy reading the letter slowly outside in peaceful afternoon today; i ran it through together with sebek nui #this will be my treasured keepsake from now on 🥹; it seriously made me miss letters and wish i have someone to send this kind of letter to #it was a bit funny how the envelope sebek's letter came from is sticked with the guys from free! sticker fhsdsh 🤣😂#and me with the white haired guy like WHo are u?? fsjdsdjsd (´つヮ⊂); but it's a really nice service #the thank you letter came with such a cute and yummy folding paper; thank you for the stickers too #i feel like there's a bit whoopsie on grim's winky eye fshfh like i think the sharpie just blurs the separating space '<' supposed to have #and just combine it all together into one angry eye; and sebek bear's eyes are just a little bigger than i expected it to be #but the more i look at them i think they are just having a little individuality & still cute #i embraced it all together while knowing the fact none of handmade thing would always be the same one with the other; hehe sebek nui has fr #i kinda forget that there's this kind of clip earring fshd; because i always get the ones that work like screw from aliexpress #i know that the literal clip one would just be literal meaning of pain fsh; just like the magnet one my father once got me when i was a kid #it was painful but pretty; tho i lost it quickly bcs magnet easily get loosed once one part of it moves around when u touch ur hair or face #anyhow i had a pleasant day because of this; thank you very much ! sebek nui said 'thank you' too! ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚. ❀ ✿ 𖤣…

247 notes · View notes

stilitrash · 1 year ago

Text

I drew these while I was going insane waiting for the release day 🤪

Now that I've actually SEEN the first 2 eps... I'M GOING EVEN MORE INSANE I LOVE SIMON SO MUCH IT HURTS

#fionna and cake #simon petrikov #adventure time #marceline #Simon and Marcy #ÀAAAAAAAAaaaaAaaaaAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAaaaaaaaaaaaaAaaaaaaa #I managed to predict he would mope around with a picture of Betty 😭#Also... Marcy... oh Marcy #They have a whole new dynamic and it makes so much sense but it still stings a little #she's an adult with her own life now #she loves him but she can't be there for him 24/7 and even if she could she CAN'T understand his pain #GAAAH this is so complex and it hurts so much #I'M GOING INSANE

697 notes · View notes

10underoot2 · 8 months ago

Text

I'm here in my agony to say that discussion between Haein and Hyunwoo after he moved his stuff into the nursery will kill me with how painful it is.

They're both in so much pain it's visible there but they're unable to talk to each other about it.

'How could you move your stuff without telling me?' She's so hurt. Her tone is accusatory. She's hurt that she just emptied her unborn child's nursery and her husband decides to move away from her as well.

'You never told me you were emptying this room either.' He's pained that they've lost a much awaited child and she didn't bother consulting him before removing everything. He didn't get his closure. He's angry and upset and so hurt but he doesn't know that he needs to get through a very strongly wrought shield around her heart to have her acknowledge his pain.

'What are you getting at? Are you blaming me for the miscarriage?'

I never imagined Haein would think Hyunwoo would want to blame her. I want to cry that in her grief she failed to have enough faith in him and his love. She's hurt by his decision to move out so she takes it out on him. She's a classical study of saying something to completely annihilate the other when you're the one who's hurt.

Also, (this pained me more than anything) notice the extreme softness and absence of anger in his voice as he responds to her.

'What are you saying? I never thought that way.'

His anger and pain seeps back in when he confesses to her, 'I'm just as sad as you -'

'Don't lie. I know you want to say that it's my fault!' I wanted to yell at her to stop. I'm so sad that she let her past trauma catch up. Is that all she's thought about since she got the news of the miscarriage? That Hyunwoo would blame her? Her fears, her pain, her assumptions they all won. And they played a part in driving them apart.

'Forget it. I can't talk any sense into you.'

I think this is the most realistic line I've heard in a Kdrama. Because people do tend to in their anger and pain just give up. Hyunwoo couldn't deal with her accusing him of something he never did, he couldn't deal with her inability to listen and acknowledge his pain as well. So he walked away - it was just simpler, easier to do.

It's also reminding me of how he told her that if they lived in a closed space they would have been forced to confront each other. They were bound to hear the other cry and console the other then. When I think about the absolutely painful, lonely, cold two years that followed this, it makes me so sad.

I didn't know a minute long scene could send me in a spiral of sadness. As sad as a miscarriage is I've had immense clarity that it never implied that they could never have children. Not to dismiss their pain it's all very valid, but if they worked towards getting closure sooner they could have been so much stronger and probably could have had a child sooner. It makes me sad how the pain rendered them incapable to mend and work towards their relationship.

#it's a minute long but it's been an hour and I'm still in pain #i never expected this confrontation to have happend #god help these two smoll cute beans #they've been through so much #ans they've come so far #queen of tears #baek hyun woo #hong hae in #kim ji won #kim soo hyun #baekhong #baby 1031 #you were so loved

169 notes · View notes

liya4kar · 9 months ago

Text

Double Vision

AU Masterpost

So I might have forgotten to say it, but in this AU, time doesn't just stop after 2003 Donny, 2012 Mikey, and Rise Raph get mentally linked. After getting their mental connection, they continue to live their lives and the adventures that come in the episodes.

So while Raph does get a bit of rest after the movie, 2003 Donny follows the 2003 third season, and 2012 Mikey jumps straight into the 2012 fourth season.

And what happens during those seasons I wonder-

#mind' o wave au #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #tmnt crossover #tmnt 2003 #same as it never was #sainw #tw dissociation #raph's right eye is not fully blind but still damaged after the Kraag #so his vision gets painful and blurry at time #and he wears his eyepatch when he needs to rest his vision #except that as the mental link keeps getting stronger and stronger #sometimes his right eye vision is overtook by what 2003 Donny or 2012 Mikey see #Which is the case here #i'd say i'm sorry but i'm not #Told ya I'll put the sillies through the horrors #Also don't worry too much about Rise Leo he's just taking a nap #:)

167 notes · View notes

oneluckydragon · 6 months ago

Text

"Suddenly the world was gray and dull and my heart was so heavy I felt like I couldn’t move, let alone make it back to Treasure Town. But because of Echo’s last wish… I was able to keep living.”

--- --- --- --- ---

SORA : (Partner)

Abilities: Justified / Inner Focus

Nature: Gentle / Hardy

Moveset: Aura Sphere / Metal Claw / Poison Jab / Dragon Pulse