#and i'm so ashamed of how i acted towards the other person

[zipquips]

i haven't been to class or campus in a few days bc i'm having a tough time and i'm kind of upset none of my friends have noticed or reached out

[self-made-purgatories]

The Betrayal of Irritation: Part 1 of my thoughts on Star Trek TMP. The "Spirk divorce arc" in Star Trek TMP is not new, or unexpected, or a surprise. It starts in TOS, with Requiem for Methuselah. A theory. Long post again!

I just finished watching the Original Series, followed by The Motion Picture, and holy fuck the two are SO interconnected. But the timing makes it really confusing.

There was about a ten-year-gap in real life between the end of TOS and the start of TMP. And yet, the wounds of failed Spirk appear to still be completely unhealed at the start of the movie. 

The movie itself denotes at least a two-and-a-half year gap since Kirk was last aboard the Enterprise. (Kirk tells Scotty, "two and a half years as Chief of Starfleet Operations may have made me stale, but I wouldn't exactly consider myself untried." Decker reiterates this time period by saying Kirk hasn't logged a single star hour in two and a half years.) It could have been more time since Kirk and Spock last saw each other, but it's unclear.

There is a lot of discussion akin to "Why are the characters acting so weird in Season 3?" as well as "What the hell happened between the series and the movie that made Spock run off to kolinahr like that?" I actually think that there is no missing information; rather, these two questions are connected. In fact, both questions have the same answer. Here is my theory: 

1

In my opinion, Season One of TOS doesn't start at the very beginning of the five-year mission.

Season One does not start with everyone boarding the ship for the first time and meeting their roommates. The relationships between the characters are already far too well developed to be brand new. Think of the fact that by episode 2 (Charlie X) Kirk is already saying, "I need him" of Spock.

By episode 4 (The Naked Time) Spock is offering to Kirk a thinly veiled confession of love tainted by repression and internalized homophobia ("Jim, when I feel friendship for you, I'm ashamed"), during which they slap each other repeatedly (keeping in mind that physical fighting is a stand-in for sexual intimacy in this show. My personal theory is that their serious relationship starts around Amok Time, but there is definitely something already happening there).

By episode 7 (What Are Little Girls Made Of?), Spock trusts and knows Kirk intimately enough to identify a well-disguised Kirk imposter in just two key words ("half-breed interference"); two hurtful words that he not only understands as not Kirk, but actually somehow a secret message from the real Kirk.

These are not newly acquainted coworkers. I posit that the three years of TOS are not an exact one-to-one correlation to the first three years of the five year mission. My theory is that the two years that are missing are actually towards the beginning, not at the end.

(Disclaimer: I have not yet seen TAS, which, from what I understand, is meant to fill the gap of the last two years of the mission, but since it is considered "questionable canon" I will disregard it for now, for the sake of argument.)

2

I have written extensively about how, in season 3, Kirk and Spock suffer irreparable damage to their serious relationship in Requiem for Methuselah, and then continue to fight about it for several episodes. Then Spock lives an allegorical journey to hell and back in All Our Yesterdays, showing the extensive inner turmoil that he is still going through. By Turnabout Intruder, the last episode of the series, the two have broken up and it's affecting their interactions.

So my theory is this: the end of TOS is actually quite close to the end of the five-year mission, the Requiem for Methuselah wounds are still fresh in Spock's mind, the All Our Yesterdays turmoil is still very real, and Kirk and Spock have quite recently gone through a very painful breakup.

(Even if I'm wrong about this part. You can imagine two more years of that painful Turnabout-Intruder-level intimacy, where they undeniably know each other like the other half of themselves, and yet there is no joy in that connection and no way to bridge the rift between them. It would be enough to make anyone want to run away.)

Doesn't it just make sense that after the season 3 spirk fight arc, Spock would be ready to put some distance between himself and Kirk?

3

Can we also talk about what Spock was doing on the five-year mission in the first place? A half-Vulcan, raised on Vulcan, who feels he has something to prove as a Vulcan, and is trying desperately to repress his human side, elects to spend five full years in the unceasing and exclusive company of humans. Why? 

What if Spock felt unfulfilled in that life as a Vulcan? What if he wanted to try out his human side? What if Spock meant for the five-year-mission to be a sort of rumspringa from Vulcan mores, during which he could try out this other world like a piece of clothing, to see how it fit?  

But in the end, those five years of connection, of love, and then loss, only led to heartache and overwhelm. But, while Spock never confesses to heartache and overwhelm, what he does confess to? Irritation. 

Think back to the start of the series. In Where No Man Has Gone Before, when Spock is trying so hard to repress his human half that he still refers to his mixed parentage as "one of my ancestors married a human female," Kirk tells him that he plays a very irritating game of chess. Spock coyly answers, "Irritating? Ah, yes. One of your Earth emotions."

And then, in Space Seed, we have this exchange, where Kirk is being so absolutely gentle and patient and loving with Spock that it makes me want to cry:

Both of these "Irritation? Never met her" exchanges are in Season 1. 

But look how much things have changed by season 3: This is what he has learned in his time among humans.

From Day of the Dove: 

Irritation is, actually, the perfect emotion for Spock to finally allow himself to express. It has almost a medical bent to it, as in the sort of irritant that causes a skin reaction. He's been expressing irritation all along with that telltale eyebrow, of course, but allowing himself to say the word out loud is a big step. 

Then, upon being called "you pointed-eared Vulcan" by Bones in All Our Yesterdays:

His descent into the allegorical hell and the barbarism of his ancestors brings out this outburst of emotion against Bones, the only other bright spot (besides Jim) in this human world. It is a step beyond irritation, to "I don't like that. I don't think I ever did, and now I'm sure." But it shows that this particular irritation has been brewing for a long time, repressed under layers of Vulcan control.

And finally, this, from Plato's Stepchildren. Not irritation, but relevant:

Ouch. 

Spock always felt out of place in his Vulcan world. And he feels even more out of place in the very human world of the Enterprise. But Kirk is the one thing that makes that life worthwhile. The one safe harbor, the only safe person in the whole world of both humans and Vulcans. Spock is never at home anywhere, but he is at home with Kirk. But then it turns out that the safe harbor is perhaps the most dangerous place of all. He risks everything to allow himself to love, but then he has his heart completely broken by Kirk. This human world was already perhaps not a great fit to begin with, but now it's painfully, excruciatingly obvious that he is not at home here either. 

Remember, also, what one of the spectators said of Spock during his emotional torture in Plato's Stepchildren: "Cupid's arrow kills Vulcans." WHAT.

4

So of course Spock's response to this failed five-year experiment is to say, "Okay, this did not work out. I tried it on, but this living-with-humans garment did not fit me. Fuck this shit, this being-around-emotional-humans shit, this pain-from-other-people's-emotions shit, and FUCK THIS ONE MAN'S BULLSHIT IN PARTICULAR, I am now off to join the Vulcan priesthood. Not only must my life's answer be on Vulcan, it is the most Vulcan version of Vulcan I can think of. I will give up all of my connections, all of my emotions, everything that makes me me so that I can finally become the ultimate Vulcan. Maybe if I get rid of my emotions altogether, it will also get rid of this pain."

And that is how he ends up here at the start of the movie.

But of course. It doesn't work.

He is running away from life, away from love, away from Kirk, rather than running towards enlightenment.

It was never going to work. 

And when he suddenly senses that Kirk needs him, his instinctual reaction is to refuse to complete the kolinahr. He is not rejected from it (at least that's not how it starts), as so many people say. He rejects it himself by raising his hand to stop the priestess. She simply agrees with him that he has work to do elsewhere.

What does he feel, though? It is hard to say. It looks more like confusion or disappointment than love or longing. But might it even be... Irritation?

5

"Okay, fine," he says to himself. "If I must, I must. I will go and save that man's sorry ass one more time. I will go get a nice haircut. I will go put on my makeup and an ABSOLUTE BANGER of a little black revenge dress. I will glide onto that bridge like I own the fucking place. I will make that man cum in his pants as soon as he sees me. And I will not even deign look at him." And so he does.

Irritation does seem to be his main outward emotional state when he makes his first appearance back on the Enterprise. He is trying so hard to project himself as an emotionless brick wall, but he is actually radiating irritation in every direction. He greets Chekov with thinly veiled irritation, doesn't even let him finish his sentence:

And then he does what he came to do; he glides onto the bridge like he owns the fucking place. He looks so damn good and Kirk notices, his whole body snapping to attention. Spock looks all around the bridge, but not at Kirk standing right in front of him.

But, of course, he can't not look at him. He makes it a full eight seconds before he finally lowers his gaze and stares straight into Kirk's very soul without saying a single word out loud.

He then busies himself around the science station, taking charge, getting to work, ignoring the pleasantries erupting from all the old friends and colleagues around him. Irritation, irritation, irritation. He cuts all the discussion short and plunges headlong into the science, completely ignoring the way that Kirk is practically on his knees in front of him. But he sees. Of course he sees.

And yet, this outward irritation is simply a betrayal of his inner feelings: the fact that he cares. If he didn't care, he wouldn't be irritated. If he didn't care, he wouldn't have come at all.

But now that he is here, now that he is back, anything is possible.

[gingerteawrites]

Undeserving - Where the shadow of the past looms over Diluc’s present

A/N: I'm baaaaaack. This one has been in the works for a minute, and has taken on many different forms, but here I grace you with a work about my OG Genshin husband. Please enjoy and let me know what you think! Not beta read

Content: ANGSTTTT, Husband Diluc, relationship troubles.

Word count: 1.5K

Diluc Ragvindr had convinced himself that the last thing he wanted on this earth was to start a family. The tale of his own being torn apart would never not be a sore wound, one that incessantly throbbed, one that he believed would never heal.

The idea of being ripped away from any sort of attachment was repulsive, as was the possibility of growing estranged from loved ones. Familial bonds were simply too sensitive of a topic. Too painful of an ache.

You on the other hand, had always dreamed of the wonders of marriage. Of a sacred contract of love and care. And after years of timid courting, Diluc did what he thought would never be possible. He gave into the new, selfish desires of your company. Of an attachment to you. Of what he could be WITH you.

Diluc got married to you, the love of his life. Something he felt was simultaneously the best and worse thing he could ever have done. It did not take too long for him to become consumed with dread of history repeating himself. The potential of all the failings of this new attachment loomed over him like shadows of the abyss.

While you enjoyed the newly-wed bliss, the joy of finally being united with your love. Your husband spiraled into more and more agitated thoughts. Yes, this union was something he had wanted. So badly it kept him awake at night. He had wanted to have you for himself. And him for you. But everything he kept inside him created a dangerous brew of dark thoughts that now made him restless.

He tried to hide this all from you. Oh how ashamed he felt. Staying at Angel’s share a little longer than usual, leaving the house before you woke up for sparring exercises, coming up with things to do when you tried to bring him lunch as a surprise.

It all came as a shock to your system. You had always known that Diluc was not openly affectionate, but he had never truly avoided you. Your romance was one of timid touches and whispered sweet words, of acts of service and long evening walks, but never of hiding and silence. It drove you mad.

You tried to be the bigger person and give him space. Afterall, you knew — if only partly— of his family’s woes and him not being used to have someone so close. But after weeks of this game of hide and seek, you had had enough.

One Friday night, with your own spiralling thoughts, you ordered all the house servants to take the weekend off, and waited for Diluc, resolve hard as steel to get through this issue.

When he silently cracked the door open, he jumped at the sight of you, gaze fixed on him with your arms crossed, a single candle on the nightstand illuminating your face.

“Hey,” he greeted quietly, closing the door before he started to take off his coat.

“Hey,” you responded, lips pursed as you watched him. These were the first words you had exchanged all week.

He almsot felt small under your gaze, taking off his outer garments and gloves which he set on his dresser and turned to face you with a sigh.

“I’m sorry I���ve been quite busy recently,” he tried to appease you, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I am exhausted, shall we sleep?”

Your brows furrowed in exasperation, and you unfolded your arms.

“Not so fast Diluc.” He froze at your tone, sharp, cutting through the dry air. “Is that truly all you wish to say?” You asked, feeling yourself growing shaky with all the contained emotions. Confusion. Anger. Fear.

“What…” he turned fully towards you “What do you mean?” he asked hesitantly.

You took in a shaky breath, closing your eyes to calm your nerves. When you reopened them, you noticed your husband’s slightly hunched position, his bangs falling over his eyes. That hair that always reminded you of a warm hearth. Something to grow fond of, now looked dull in the pale candelight. And the sight made your heart ache.

“Diluc please don’t play dumb with me. What is going on?” You ask, leaning towards him “You’re avoiding me.” The words leave a bitter taste in your mouth and your lip curls in distaste.

“Did I do something wrong?” You add after a pause, the sadness breaking through your tone.

“No, no, no, it’s nothing you have done.” He jumps in, guilt gripping at him hearing your pain. It was much easier to rationalize his behavior when all he saw was your sleeping form when he left in the mornings and came back late at night. But now faced with you awake, his chest felt unbelievably tight.

“Then what is it?” You ask, steadying your voice once again.

Diluc sighed, his fingers gripping the sheets beneath him. He then raises his head so his eyes can meet yours, the curtains of his hair falling away from his face, and you see the conflict in his eyes. The pain of something he is keeping locked away in his being.

“Please talk to me.” You whisper, covering his hand with yours.

“I…” he pauses, feeling ashamed of his thoughts. How could he even justify his actions to you. “Maybe… maybe us getting married was a mistake.”

The words pierce through you like a blade, and your entire body stiffens, mouth agape, eyes open wide. You feared your ears betrayed you. “What did you say?” you hear yourself ask.

His hand reached for yours, and you jerked away before he could reach you. His lips opened and closed multiple times, like he was trying to find words.

Recovering from the initial shock of his words, and all you felt was an overwhelming sense of anger bubble out of you. “Is there someone else?” You asked through gritted teeth. The possibility would absolutely obliterate you, but you had to know.

“No, I could never.” He rushed to say again. ”Then what is this about, Diluc!?” You almost yelled, chest heaving. You did not recognize the man standing before you.

“I…” he stammered again, brows downturned, biting his lower lip. “You just deserve someone better.” He spat out, his entire body tense. “You’re just too good for me. And I am sorry it took me until now to realize it. No.” He stopped himself. “I knew all along, but I was selfish.” He shook his head. “I just can’t make this work.” He sucked in a deep breath, his voice growing meek.

Your hands fall against the mattress, fully taking in his words. Words that did nothing to quell your anger, only adding more fuel to it.

“And who made that call?” You ask, loud voice resonating through the room. He looked up at you with wide eyes. “Who decided that huh?” You leaned towards him. “Not me.” You concluded bitterly.

“But.” He says, eyes locked with yours.

“But nothing, Diluc.” You punctuated, voice firm again. “I think you are deserving of me.” You point to yourself. “I love you Diluc. Do you not?”

“Of course I do.” He adds, closing the distance between you two, his fingers finding yours again. “I just don’t want this to end badly. I don’t want us to end badly.” He confesses.

“But don’t you think we’re worth the risk?” You ask, searching his eyes. “Don’t you think that our love is worth trying?” You emphasize.

He looks down at your linked fingers before his gaze returns to you. “I am a weak man. Weaker than I look, certainly. I’m scared of losing you.”

“So you decide to push me away?” You ask in disbelief, to which he stays silent. “Then I refuse to go. We are going to make this work, whether you believe you are strong enough for it or not.” You conclude.

Diluc looks at you, your eyes shining with determination and unshed tears. A testament to your own strenght. An announcement of his own weakness. How could he be Mondstat’s defender, working to uphold the foundation of his city if he could not work for you. The realization sunk into his stomach with a nauseating weight. He was chosing the easy way out. He was hurting you and himself because of fear.

“I am sorry.” He chokes out, pulling you into him, engulfing you in his warmth for a hug. “I really am not deserving of you.” He adds, his voice trembling as he buried his head into your neck.

“Just promise.” You wrap your arms around him “Promise you’ll try.”

He pulls away from you, his hands moving up to hold your cheeks, his eyes burning with new certainty, new determination. “I swear to you.” His thumbs move in circles against your skin, wiping away your tears that have started to fall. “I promise. I stake my life on this. On us.” And he brings his lips to yours to seal this commitment. The past was dark and seemed all-engulfing, but he would not let it overshadow this present with you.

Comment and reblogs are much appreciated :))

[thesirencult]

PAC READING : WHO HAS A CRUSH ON YOU?

1---2

3---4

PILE 1

The Tower, The Fool

This is someone you would never expect to have feelings for you. You view them as distant, private an cold towards you and others. There is something magnetic to them and, at times, they let their cold façade go. Then, you get to experience a different side of them. They may have played with children in front of you or taken care of an elderly person, assisting them to cross the street. This person loves animals and has a soft spot for them. This reminds me of a strong, tall man who build a sanctuary for chihuahuas after his wife left him. Now he takes care of them and encourages other men to break the stereotype and adopt a smaller dog.

So, this person could also be tall and either lanky or lean-muscular. Others see them as intimidating and may try to avoid them in social situations (like coworkers not inviting them out for a drink after work).

I don't think they'll express themselves. They feel very ashamed of their feelings for you and believe that you see them as "not good enough". This has nothing to do with the way you treat them and has everything to do about their own perception of themselves.

They are very innocent at heart and get hurt when people exclude them. This tells me that you must have treated them like your "chihuahua". You are the one who encourages them and offers help or a few kind words. They love your kind and sweet nature but it's hard for them to show their true emotions. You will notice them get shy and anxious around you, like a little kid. Give them a chance by letting them get closer to you.

PILE 2

Judgement, The Magician, 5 Of Wands

This person is very fair and just. They will love every single inch of you and they won't shy away from telling you that. You see yourself as "not being good enough" and the person who has a crush on you will pick up on how you feel immediately. They will try to get you to see your beauty and will get sad when you talk bad about yourself. They just don't understand how someone as perfect and beautiful as you doesn't realise their own strength and beauty.

This person is a master manifestor. They just know how to alchemize energy and change their physical reality. They will see that you have this ability too and they will admire how you are trying to forge your own path. They have probably manifested you into their lives and they'll idolize you a lot.

If there is an age gap (5+), this person will try to hold back and act as a mentor towards you but, they are very competitive with others and possessive. Their feelings will shine through when they sense someone else trying to get with you. You'll notice their absurd behaviour, call them out and they will just kiss you.

"I'll show you why I'm acting this way." And then smooch 💋.

PILE 3

Queen Of Cups, 7 Of Pentacles, 5 Of Pentacles

Okey-dokey! My sweet Pile 3, if you are not into girls or feminines, I would advise you to choose another pile. Otherwise, if you choose to stay, this energy could resonate with your personal journey towards love and abundance.

I'm seeing a very sweet soul waiting for you. This energy is very light and free-flowing. You may not have met this person yet, because of divine timing. I'm getting that when you meet them it will be "love at first sight". You'll catch them doing something random, like picking up a dumbbell at the gym or petting a dog, or even voting (?).

This "exchange" from afar will drive you crazy cause you will know nothing about this person and you'll think you will never see them again. I see that fate has other plans for you.

This feminine is your future spouse and she is very into personal development at the moment. They will be preoccupied with finances and they are trying to clear up "abundance blocks".

At first, they will seem reserved and preoccupied with other things. You'll exchange a few looks and sparks will be flying, so this is a case of a reciprocated crush.

They are quite happy with being by themselves and working on their coins and foundations for their future. I bet you'll hear them talk about that and you'll think "Baby don't worry, I'm your future 💋."

Slowly you'll start talking and I hope you make the next step otherwise they'll never ever let you in.

But, after you get closer to them, you'll realize that they are a very deep and wise person and not just sunny all the time. Actually you'll think of them as darker and lunar. You will love their passion and mysterious disposition. Be their fearless protector and their rock to climb up to and watch the sunrise.

PILE 4

The Hierophant, 9 Of Cups, Queen Of Pentacles

Right now you are going through a "level up" phase. I don't even know why you are waisting your time here. Lol. You are quite independent, fierce and unstoppable. You are also trying to manifest someone like you.

The person who will soon come towards and confess their crush on you is not someone overly "hard". They are quite dreamy and soft. They like ice-cream and long walks. They will take you on romantic dates and worry that you don't like the scenery because you are not talking that much.

This person sees you as a boos b*tch. They admire you and have put you in a pedestal. I'm hearing "Let me service you Queen.". They like "ice-cream" ! Oh my! This person really wants you and they would jump through hoops to get to you.

They'll pass all your tests with flying colours and you will keep wondering how they are such a good match for you. Let them feel like you are in control and they'll submit to you.

[reallyromealone]

Title: Tokyo revengers omegaverse

Chapter: 8

Fandom: Tokyo revengers

Characters: Tokyo revengers ensemble

Fic type: series

Pairings: Toman/ tenjiku x reader

Warnings: male reader, reader insert omegaverse, angst, slow burn, one sided, au, Omega male reader

Notes: oh look two series chapters finished

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Thankfully wakasa gave him his pipe, the beta taking long drags as he used his magic to keep the fuckers away.

The oils completely masked the scent of the Omega, after a day the alphas slowly calmed down enough to be reasoned with, all sitting on their knees as Emma ripped into them "I leave for two seconds! And you assholes ruin an omegas life! He's probably traumatized!" She seethed as her brothers looked anywhere but the blond Omega who was about to burn this place to the ground in anger.

"We just wanted him as ours!"

"How would you react if some knothead alphas acted like that to me?! You should be ashamed of yourself!"

When (name)s heat finally ended, he was hesitant to leave the room but the pups dragged him out "we will protect you!" Takemichi said all heroic like, the pups not understanding the situation but wanting to support their new friend "we can see if uncle Tai can make us yummy treats!"

The three toddlers chatted away with (name), surprisingly affective at easing his worries as they wandered towards the kitchen area.

"Now when he gets out, I expect grovelling and an apology!" Was what the four heard as they walked past the great Hall and the toddlers perked up at the voice "Aunty!" Little Inupi was the one to chirp out, bouncing on his little feet as he ran to push open the door, the other toddlers following suit.

(Name) looked extremely anxious as the pups wandered off to this person whom he didn't know but promptly reminded himself that these weren't his pups.

These were Shinichiros pups.

The blond Omega smiled down at the pups who stared at her with stars in their eyes.

Then she looked up to lock eyes with the poor Omega her brothers clans had been terrorizing.

Demon or human, omegas had a way of communication to show they weren't a threat.

A soft chirp passed her lips and she watched (name) perk up at the sound and return the gesture and visibly relax....until he saw the alphas who terrorized him.

"Did you assholes not remember what I said?" Emma's voice was cold as she stared down the alphas, the alphas immediately groveling before (name).

This was unheard of, alphas bowing to an Omega...well (name)s never seen this.

"We formally apologize for the awful behavior we presented...we hope this doesn't ruin any chances of you coming with us" both Izana and Mikey said bowing, lest they face their sisters wrath.

Could they take her? Absolutely

Do they wish to have shinichiro mad at them? No because that is worse than anything.

"I just...don't understand" (name) sighed "I-I don't understand how me helping someone lead to me having my whole world torn from me..."

Emma looked at the omega sadly, knowing from one Omega to another how... difficult alphas can be.

"Well you're normal life is off the table sadly, is there anyway for them to provide they are worthy of you"

(Name) liked Emma, she spoke to him like a person not a commodity.

"I don't want to be a breeding tool... I'm a person with wants and goals" (name) said honestly "they see me as this commodity, a prize to lord over the others head"

"You wish to be seen as an equal"

"Yes"

"Will you let them earn the right to be your equal?"

"...I suppose but...just I don't want them to be overbearing"

"That is something I can't promise seeing as my brother's look at you like you hung the moon"

Both clans stared at (name) like he was a god and in a way he was.

Demons held great value and care to male omegas as they could do what many couldn't.

And (name) sadly was surrounded by the most obsessive and possessive alphas.

"So that settles it, prove to him that you are worthy of his love"

♥️

Kisaki was prepping, having gathered supplies to kill (name) and any demons who get in his way.

But...would it be enough?

What Kisaki didn't know was it wasn't just a demon clan... It was nearly four clans I'm one space.

Kisaki blinded by rage didn't understand that this was a death sentence lunar moon or not.

Even if he did realize this... He wouldn't have cared.

He would sacrifice ten people or a thousand if it meant (name) died.

To kill the cursed Omega who took everything from him.

And he knew he had the best weapon of attack.

❤️

(Name) Was happy to have another Omega to talk to, someone who was absolutely not afraid to rip her brother's a new one "at this rate, their clans are better off merging" she mumbled and (name) tilted his head a bit confused "it would ease tensions and stress for you to choose" she continued and (name) nodded.

A part of him wanted to run away and hide but he knew that was impossible especially as they already set their sights on him, he was rarely alone save for using the washroom and even then he had littles following him occasionally.

The pups were cute but had no boundaries just like their uncles.

"(Naaaame)~" speak of the devil.

Literally.

Mikey walked in merrily into the sitting room with a bouquet of flowers "humans like these right?" He asked sweetly, really pushing up the charm to woo the other as Emma rolled her eyes "Mikey those flowers are toxic to human omegas" she said simply and Mikey just set the flowers on fire "what flowers?" He said simply before walking out the room angrily.

"They mean well but they have no idea how humans work" she sighed as they continued their tea.

[neege]

Thinking about a weird au that takes place during the FWW—after the secret keeper has been selected but before the Potter's are killed and Sirius is framed—in which the marauder's swap places.

I'm thinking S/R would swap, and J/P would swap.

And when I say swap places, I mean they each wake up in the body of the other, with that person's thoughts, feelings, and memories. So instead of James waking up as Peter and acting as he believes Peter would act, it's like he's living as Peter. He has Peter's urges and motivations, memories, personality, but he's still James deep down, like he's observing Peter up-close and personal.

I don't know if I'm explaining this correctly or not, but imagine you wake up as a total stranger, and even though you know you're not quite you, and you're still able to think your own thoughts, you also know exactly how to navigate this stranger's life completely. You have access to their feelings and their habits. Something like that.

So we see a James who wakes up as Peter and slowly goes through the motions of being a secret death eater, spying on his own wife and friends. He's horrified, but unable to stop himself from acting as Peter usually would. He's so unfathomably angry, yet slightly shamed at himself for paying so little attention to his friend that he didn't notice. He's mostly angry.

Same with Peter, who now experiences James's extreme fear for his family's life. He's scared to die while I'm James's body, but it's surprised at how much he grows to fear seeing his own face. He experiences James's full trust in him, but also sees just how much he's underestimated by his closest friends. It's hurtful, but he's mostly ashamed.

Remus experiences the distrust everyone in the order directs at Sirius. He feels the protectiveness over James and Lily, but especially over Harry. He's overwhelmed by the insane amount of conflict that wars within Sirius, and the compulsion he has to save the people he loves most. The helplessness he feels at not being able to do more. He's gutted by the reveal that Sirius suspects he's the spy, but maybe he's surprised at the amount of heartbreak Sirius feels because of it. He wants to beg Sirius to trust him, but finds himself growing frustrated at himself as well for being so secretive and closed-down, knowing how much he's hurting inside.

And Sirius gets a front-row seat to the horrors of being a werewolf, both physically (maybe he transforms one moon), and mentally (the discrimination, the feeling of being helpless and knowing that you will never fully be accepted by your peers. Maybe he's surprised at how much he relates to this.) He wants to beg and scream at Remus to stop hiding, stop pulling away, and he wants to punch himself in the face. He's floored by his own cold indifference towards Remus, knowing how much he feels inside. He wants to shake himself and tell him to trust Remus, to trust his heart. Maybe the sheer amount of feelings and thoughts that Remus keeps inside at any given minute of the day is the most shocking to Sirius.

And if you want this to have a happy ending, somehow they're able to change the course of that Halloween night! Or maybe not, and maybe they have to watch everything burn down.

Would love to hear anyone's thoughts on this!!

[gege-wondering-around]

can i just say that Elizabeth and Darcy from Pride and Prejudice are the old school version of Stiles and Derek?

Cause i will shout this from my balcony till it breaks beneath me!

Stiles (Elizabeth or if you want, 'lizzy') not giving a flying f about Derek (Darcy) cause this rich dude has no care for others and just runs on raw pride, which lead all his decisions. Which ultimately makes him look like the worst man on earth to Stiles' eyes, which is why he stays away from Derek.

But then, solitary man Derek will start to fall in love with this intelligent and fine creature (stiles) because he couldn't be more difficult to get!

Stiles doesn't care about society, stiles is sharp and of an intellectual awareness that defy every man in search of the tipycal silly type to ask for marriage, and Derek cannot stress himself enough about this sweet, pretty thing dancing around at balls and answering rudeness with politeness mixed with the most sublime undertone of confidence and assertiveness.

cause stiles doesn't care about money or status, stiles cares about marrying someone he truly loves and when he realized derek did love him, he felt sooooo ashamed of how judgemental he had been of this poor man who just wanted his hand! because derek loved him enough to forgive stiles for his harsh words towards him (cause stiles thought of him as a bad individual and spoke of it to him) from the past and was then a more genuine version of himself.

And as Derek and Stiles tangle their lives together because of friends and family, they end up as the most tight knot that will not be undone! especially after derek hear about stiles' high chin and firm words of 'i may not be engaged to him now, but fear i may will' that he spoke to Derek's aunt when she went to stiles to disagree of their possibile engagement

and what did stiles do?

respond to the rudeness of this lady with the sharpest and most confidence tone of 'we will choose for ourselves' which, when derek heard about this, made him go so out of his path to get stiles.

because they didn't know each other, then they did, and they fell in love. and they weren't going to NOT act on it.

(summary: enemies to lovers. which is now my new obsession- yes, i never invested into enemies to lovers, but now i might do some digging)

I'm gonna write a retelling of this so bad.

imagine.

this kind of pretty stiles (with a sharp tongue and pretty look that defy how his mind actually thinks and hides how much 'intellectual power' he has since, for the time the story it's set in, lizzy is an unusual brave woman who would rather marry the poor guy, love of her life over the rich, cold man with money)

pretty because lizzy is viewed as a very pretty women who is recognized as such in society (which dancy then calls 'the most beautiful women I've even seen in my entire life' after someone says she's not even that pretty)

who's personality can go from this ⬇️

yk, funny, outgoing, polite (sort of) and overall a wonderful presence to have conversations with and engage in sharing opinions and dance with during balls (in which her figure is gracefully dancing and all the other stuff i dont remember)

to this ⬇️

a wonderful undertone of 'f you with respect' and 'who do you think you are', who will also be able to undo you in 30 seconds in a verbal battle cause he has the intelligence and intellectual knowledge to do so and WILL do so without much regards for consequences cause he'll do so in a way that will makes it unable for you to bite back cause you'll end up the one being labeled as rude.

pared with

this angry looking fool, who looks more arrogant than anything most of the day, to most people (and even those who knows him talk very little of his doings, because he hides his true emotions and intentions. and despite pride being his fuel, he's still a caring man who is not talk about much if not for his money = they talk about his fortune and not the values he has, despite the sort of 'contorted' way in which everything is based on pride)

(which could also be older, but who know what I'll end up choosing when i write this - because yes, i love older men ⬇️)

who, ultimately, will look at stiles like this⬇️

because 'damn, you are the only person i want by my side for the rest of my life' and he wont be able to move his gaze elsewhere cause despite being an a-hole to stiles for the major part of theirshared time, he was still able to redeem himself by showing his kindness and actually gets stiles.

while stiles is like

because after pulling up the bad facade of 'i dont give a f about you cause i think you are rude', he felt ashamed when he found he was wrong about him but then darcy (derek) forgives him and he can't hold his feelings anymore and just shows everything through his eyes and the soft laughter he lets out when they talk cause he has still to process how much these two are gonna love each other (this, before they are engaged)

so.

I'll buy the book (cause i read a school fitted version of it), annotate things, write down some coherent line of plot and one day, I'll write everything down.

till then, I'll scream about this from my balcony, thanks for have come to this sort of tedtalk.

and this is for you, my sweet @dontcallpanic, i hope you'll like my little gift as I'm still working, rather slowly, on my replies for you 🩵🫂

[skipper1331]

A Bronze // Esme Morgan

Being Lucy Bronzes younger sister was fantastic yet hard at times.

Lucy was a loving, caring and proctective (!!) sister - she would do anything for you. You loved her with your whole heart and playing football at a professional level together has always been a dream of yours.

When you got your first call up, she was the first person you called. Same thing with your call up for the euros and same thing now with the world cup.

You were beyond excited. There was only one problem.

With Lucy being in Barcelona and you being in Manchester you haven‘t had the chance to tell her that you were in a relationship. It wouldn‘t feel right telling her through the phone - your excuse. At some point there was a (high) chance that she would jump into a plane and fly straight to you.

To be honest you haven‘t told her yet because you‘re scared. Scared of her reaction or rather of her behavior towards Esme. She would rip her head off. And you really-really liked Esme. Nobody besides a few of your City teammates knew about you.

"Not kissing you all day long will kill me" Esme whined as she pulled at the hem of your shirt. Your arms looped around her neck "Don‘t be so dramatic" you chuckled. Esme fake gasped while clutching her heart, making you laugh. Her favorite sound.

Arriving in camp was a relief. You and Lucy were glued to the hips, updating on your lives. It was nice to see and talk to her in person again. Until now you never realized how much you missed her.

The first few training sessions went smooth. Esme and you kept things professional - acting like friends. Yet sometimes you caught yourselves staring a moment to long at each other. You would sneak lingering touches when nobody was watching or kiss in empty rooms. You couldn‘t help it you were just so in love with one another.

"What would you think about if we told Lucy?" you asked as you sat down at the table. The table was still empty only Esme and you already sitting there with plates in front of you. "Tell Lucy what?" Said person asked. Esme chocked on her water. She didn‘t mind telling her yet she feared Lucy kind off. "Luce! Hey" you smiled through your nervousness. "Tell Lucy what?" her tone was rough. She hated when she didn’t know things- especially when they involved you, her little baby. "Oh nothing! No worries" smiling, you tried to convince the defender. Of course with no luck. "Y/n" she grumbled. "I‘m dating your sister" Esme blurted out. The whole dining room went silent. "Does she have death wishes?" someone gasped. Jordan was standing behind Lucy who was about to explode. "Come again?"

"I am dating Y/n" she took your hand to emphasize her words.

Something clicked inside Lucys mind. You dating someone? No absolutely not. "Do not touch her!" aggressivly, she parted your hands. "Y/n? Is this true?"

"Yes" you looked down, not because you were ashamed but because you felt horrible. You knew Lucys eyes would tell you that she‘s hurt because you didn‘t tell her. And you also knew that her eyes would be full of fury. "Lucy I-" abruptly, lucy shoved her plate to Jordan and grabbed Esme by the collar of her shirt. Even though the blonde was tall enough to have her feet on the ground it was still intimidating as hell. "Lucy!" you yelped. "You better leave my sister alone or you will have some real trouble. Understood?!" your attempt to break them apart was as successful as a shark trying to climb up a tree. pretty much impossible. "I'm not afraid of you" the audacity to talk only made Lucy angrier and made you smile bright. Nobody ever tried to fight your sister for you.

"That‘s enough!" Millie and Rachel grabbed Lucy and shoved her the other way. Lunch was over for her. "Fuck. Are you okay?" Worry laced your voice as Esme was free. Her hand rubbed her neck while the other one was shaking. "Ye-yeah" you pulled her down to sit. "Jordy, could you - you know?" Jordan gave you a nod before your attention was back on Esme.

Lucy was sitting in the gym trying to calm herself down. It was hard. You‘re her little girl how could she not be mad. She was hurt that you didn‘t tell her. She was mad at the fact you were dating someone. not because of a relationship but of the risk of you getting hurt. The worst pain for her isn‘t any physical, seeing you cry/hurt that‘s the worst pain.

One of your first matches for the senior team ended with you being hospitalized due a head injury. The cry of pain which left your mouth was horrific. It haunted Lucy for months. "Hey" a calm voice said. Jordan. "Here‘s your food" carefully, she sat the plate down. "Thanks"

While they ate in silence Lucy appreciated Jordan being there. "I‘ll tell you that because i'm your friend", the villa player started as they finished their meals, "that was such a shit move" which ended with a smack to the head for the Barcelona player. "It’s your sisters girlfriend"

"She‘s too young for a relationship" Jordan looked at her with her 'seriously?' expression. "Esme is not good enough" again, Jordan looked at Lucy with the same expression. "Well. Let‘s look at it from this perspective: would you rather have a total stranger to be with y/n?" No reply. "That‘s what I thought."

"Doesn't mean I approve it"

"You don't have to approve it, at least for now but for starters you can respect them."

Only a grumble was heard.

"For what it’s worth, I think they‘re good for each other"

"I don't"

The next few days Lucy didn‘t talk to either one of you yet she watched from afar. It stung. After not seeing each other for months she was now ignoring you for who knows how long. It made you sad and angry.

"You look hot" you said to Esme as there was a water break. "Than-" she started, her cheeks turning crimson. you didn‘t mean that kind of hot in the moment. Yes, Esme was hot in your eyes but - "Let me help you" with a quick squeeze of your bottle you splashed her face with water. "Hopefully, you don‘t become a mermaid" you laughed referring to H2O, a series you love. A loud gasp escaped the blonde who was chasing you by now. "Arghh come here" the defender smacked her arms around your hips, turning you around so you could face her "that wasn‘t nice, baby" she tried to have a stern face but was failing miserably. "ooopsie" catching her off guard as you pressed a kiss to her cheek, you entangled your body from her arms and ran away again.

Beach day with the team; while some of your friends were walking to the ocean others were talking or playing in the sand (tooney and lessi) whereas Esme and you sat in the sand enjoying the sun. The blonde was hugging you from behind as you laid your back on her chest. Under the sun rays she looked like a goddess. You fell in love with her all over again. "You should stare at the ocean not at me" your girlfriend whispered so she wouldn‘t ruin the vibe "you‘re way more beautiful" was your only reply. As she locked eyes with you you saw the way they lit up after your confession.

Even though you were with Esme and/or the team most of the time your heart was still broken. You missed your best friend. And your girlfriend could tell. She saw the way you would look at Lucy - she would never look back at you. She saw the way your mind was spinning, thinking about If you should approach Lucy. When Chloe (your roommate) told Esme that she heard you crying in the night the defender decided to take the problem into her own hands. It was hurting you - so it was hurting her.

"Lucy! Wait" the blonde pleaded as she saw Lucy alone. "What?" her voice wasn‘t angry or rough, it was normal yet her facial expression was stone cold. "Look, If you don‘t like me that’s fine but ignoring y/n isn‘t. It‘s her first world cup.. you should support her." Lucy didn't want a lecture so she turned around, ready to walk away. "Do you know she requested number 12 on her jersey because of you?" That statement made her stop in her track. "It was your number at the World Cup 2015. She admires you and it hurts her that you don‘t talk to her." Deep breaths, Esme, you can do it. What Esme was about to say took a lot of courage to say out loud but she knew she had to tell Lucy. "I love her, okay? I really do. She- she doesn't know that I do but I do. And I want to make her happy but she‘ll never be fully happy If you aren‘t in her life. So please.. just talk to her."

Lucy thought about Esmes words and how true they were (If someone asked her, she would never admit it). As well she talked to Jordan about them who agreed with Esme (like everybody would) and as the night went on Lucy was determined to work things out with you.

After training was finished the next day you found yourself sitting on the pitch, staring into nothing. You were exhausted. Physically and mentally.

As soon as you felt a presence beside you, you knew who it was. It was the one person you desperately wanted to talk to you. There was a silence for a few minutes. Lucy had to sort her thoughts before she could start her apology.

Esme was standing with Hempo, Chloe and Alex. Even though she knew that Alex was talking, she couldn‘t listen. She tried but her gaze kept glanzing to you. "Are they gonna make up?" Lauren asked as she saw Esme looking towards you. "I hope they do."

"I‘m so proud of you." the Barcelona player started "and i‘m sorry" she wasn‘t looking at you and you weren‘t either. You both stared straight forward. "You were a bitch" you stated. "All- all I wanted was your support" tears started to build up but you didn‘t dare to let them leave your eyes. "I know and i‘m truly sorry but you have to understand-"

"What?! What do I have to understand?! You should love me unconditionally! Not matter what," your voice started to get louder with each word.

"Stop right there! I won‘t be accused of not doing so. I was there when you had your first football match. I spent hours playing with you. I was there at every important game of yours." by now her voice was also loud. "It was me who was there every step of the way. It was me!" Well, the tears you tried not to spill were running down your cheeks faster than you liked. "Then what do I have to understand?" your voice was back quiet. Small. "I am your big sister. I need to protect you" her voice level back to normal. "Esme won‘t hurt me" you laid your head on Lucys shoulder while her arm went around your back. "I know. She‘s a good one" your gaze wandered to your love who was already looking at you with a smile on her face. "She is"

Maybe things weren‘t fully solved yet, but for the beginning it was a step in the right direction. And with the Bronze sisters back as a team and a World Cup ahead it could only get better.

—————————

[plusvanity]

Metalion was arguably one of Pelle's closest friends in Norway, and the very same person who saw Pelle trying to drown guinea pig in a jar, then putting it in the microwave. That story would have never been known if not for Metalion. He decided to share it, which points to him NOT being the "Pelle was an angel" type of person.

Yet he said that Pelle only pretended wanting to kill the farm cat and said he actually believes Pelle could have caught the cat if he wanted but pretended it was too fast for him. He also expressed belief that Pelle was actually fond of cats "in his own twisted way".

(Metalion was also the person who received the famous rant from Pelle about the inclusion of Garfield comic in the Slayer mag, with the accompanying "I HATE CATS" drawing where he put Garfield in the meat grinder).

What do you think about this? Do you agree with Metalion or you think he could have been wrong? I could have asked you this in dm but I feel like reading the discussion if anyone wants to add their two cents.

I definitely feel like Pelle was trying harder than his metalhead peers to seem brutal, tough, cold and 'evil' and his harsh antipathy towards cats is, in my opinion, the easiest way in which you can tell he's purposefully exaggerating his image.

Now, I wouldn't say he was an angel either. He was very complex as a character in the scene and I'm glad we have this story from Metalion to contour a wider view on Pelle's personality. I wouldn't consider him evil or an animal abuser for killing a rodent, but the way in which he carried out the act is quite interesting for a few reasons. If I recall it correctly, he was drunk when he did that. We all know that alcohol allows disinhibition and promotes reckless/ unthoughtful behavior. I see him as having fun and wanting to see 'cool and brutal' to his friends, so his sporadic decision to microwave the hamster must've been born from the wish to impress. And what wanting to impress really means? To belong.

I very much believe that a lot of Pelle's actions and declarations originate from his wish to belong, to be perfectly integrated into a small group of friends that he made. And this could be traced back to being bullied in school, having low self-esteem and being emotionally neglected. These are some of the conclusions that I tend to have when looking back at his history and relationship with others.

I don't have any way in which I can prove or disprove this, but my gut feeling tells me that Pelle wasn't sadist, cynic, or evil in the slightest. I believe he was, in fact, a sensitive person and sensitive does not equal 'angle' or innocent. I think he was forcing himself to be more intimidating than he was in reality because of a tough lesson that he's been taught since early in his life.

Another aspect of why he might be pressured to maintain this exaggerated act was because of the environment, after all the black metal scene was designed to capture 'the worst' in people as a backlash to conformity and normality. He couldn't be less aggressive, less brutal, less 'cool' than his peers, not when he finally had the chance to express himself in a way that could be appreciated by those who shared his feelings.

If Pelle was indeed prone to violence and aggression, it would've shown and there would've been stories about this, but there are none. The only person he ever hurt was himself, and this is not because he couldn't hurt anyone, because he could if he wanted to, but he took it on himself as a mindful decision.

Although self-destructive behavior is common for people with low self-esteem, it is not the rule. Many people lash out on others for their own feelings of self-hatred. (Vikernes for example)

I don't see the possibility of him secretly liking cats this far-fetched because exaggerating about just how much you hate something is sometimes a good indication of how you actually enjoy something that you're very ashamed of.

To sum this up, I think Metalion was observant enough or lucky enough to see beyond Pelle's shocking acts of impression. I see that instantly cooked rodent incident as something isolated, pushed by the circumstances in which Pelle was at that time rather than part of a continuum of cruel events.

I think Pelle had a limit when it came to seeming cool, and this would make a lot of sense if h indeed chose not to catch the cat at the farmhouse when he could just do that.

Some people take their frustration on smaller creatures because they need to punish a lesser being than them the way they've been punished by a bigger being. This is an antisocial mentality. Pelle could have done so, if he wanted to many times, but he didn't. Also, most antisocial acts are committed ALONE, not with friends, or at a party, or in any social circumstances and things like that don't stay hidden for long, so eventually people start noticing. This is clearly not Pelle's case.

[hakucho-art]

This is, like, the third or fourth time (if not MORE) that I see a person apologize for talking about touken, showing enjoyment in the ship or needing to give some clarification. I know I'm not the only one who feels like the TG Tumblr space carries a negative atmosphere towards touken and it honestly kills my mood to post on here.

It also saddens me to see people show love for them so hesitantly. Like you're in the wrong for doing so. Like it's stupid. Like it's silly and unreasonable. Like it's almost shameful. Idk! That's how posting on here and see other people talk about them and acting ashamed about liking them makes me feel!

For how much TG tumblr advertises to be a welcoming space, I don't feel welcomed at all and more like just tolerated.

[pearypie]

I made a meta post about Ophelia like 3 years ago on a blog I have since deleted. Here's me trying to rewrite it without the twitterspeak.

I feel like a semi-popular take back when LB2 first came out on NA was that Ophelia was not actually in love with Kirschtaria, that she had mistaken admiration for love out of compulsive heterosexuality, and that she was actually in love with Mash.

I think the first two parts of that statement just straight up aren't true. It's a cool idea, but I just don't think you can dismiss her feelings for him as fake without dismissing her arc entirely? At that point, it's just a different character.

Ophelia isn't mistaking admiration for love; the entire first half of her arc is the reverse, with people constantly trying to get her to admit that she is in love as she insists that the only thing she feels for Kirschtaria is admiration. "Admiration" isn't consistent with the weird, singleminded devotion she has towards him. This is pointed out. She eventually admits she is bullshitting you.

Yes, it's true that she makes no real attempt to act on her feelings for him, but she makes no real attempt to act on her feelings about literally anything... which is, you know, the point of her character arc. She doesn't love Kirschtaria because a relationship between them will never happen; I think it's more accurate to say that the impossibility of those feelings are why she refuses to admit she loves him, and why it's so important to her development that she does.

So she expresses her feelings for Kirschtaria by doing her best to advance his goals. It's the only way she knows how. But her behavior towards Mash is actually kind of similar; she debuffs her own servant when he attacks her (knowing damn well that the whole Lostbelt is screwed if he "dies"). That's a bit much for "I want to be her friend." On her deathbed and throughout the Lostbelt, she herself admits that her feelings for Kirschtaria and her "desire to befriend" Mash are in direct conflict; she can't commit to fighting Mash, but she can't betray Kirschtaria, either. It's an either/or. She's being pulled in opposite directions.

Almost as if her feelings for Mash and her feelings for Kirschtaria are similar.

Ophelia doesn't even know Kirschtaria that well. They didn't talk much in Chaldea, no matter how much she wished to. They aren't particularly close. All she really knows is that he risked his life to revive the other Crypters, but that's just one moment she has zero context for. Why would she be in love with him?

Ophelia doesn't know a single thing about Mash except for the general circumstances of her creation, which she can see herself in. They didn't talk at all in Chaldea, no matter how much Ophelia wished to. The Mash she sees now, in front of her in the Lostbelt, is an entirely different person -- strong, beautiful, self-assured, nothing like Ophelia. An enemy that must be defeated at all costs. Why would Ophelia want to get closer to her?

And with Mash, you can read it how you wish -- platonic or romantic doesn't matter so much. The irrational part of Ophelia's feelings for Mash is that they exist in the first place, where the irrational part of her feelings for Kirschtaria is that they're specifically romantic. It makes sense for Ophelia to admire Kirschtaria's power, and it makes sense for her to admire him as a person. These are consistent with the stories she tells about herself. But it doesn't make sense that she's in love with Kirschtaria, and that's why it's important that she does. It doesn't make sense that she'd want to be friends (or more) with Mash; that's why it's important that she does. I'm sure the intention is "just friends", but the way it's positioned in the story -- in opposition to Ophelia's loyalty to Kirschtaria -- implies much more. So YMMV.

Ophelia is ashamed of herself for having feelings she can't explain, for being hopelessly devoted to a man she barely knows, for selfishly wanting to get closer to a sworn enemy. She hates herself for having these desires because she knows they'll never be realized. She's supposed to be competent! She's supposed to have her shit handled! She shouldn't be preoccupied with regrets and impossibilities. That's the central conflict of her emotional development; the "irrationality" is precisely what makes those emotions important.

Her feelings for Kirschtaria and her feelings for Mash are, ultimately, two sides of the same coin. Either/or. So I think that acknowledging Ophelia's feelings for Kirschtaria as valid actually strengthens the argument that she's in love with Mash.

She's torn between her feelings for two people. She doesn't have the strength of will to fully commit to fighting Mash, but she'll never betray Kirschtaria, either. She can't decide whether she loves or resents her parents. She can't decide whether she wants to interact with or shun others.

Ophelia's problem is that she lacks the confidence, maturity, and resolve to follow through on her own emotions. She can't be true to herself. But her emotions contradict themselves, and she herself doesn't know what being "true to herself" would actually look like. So the resolution isn't just to pick a side and stick to it...

Ophelia's coming-of-age story is about having the confidence to acknowledge her own feelings, the maturity to understand that they're still valid despite being irrational, and the resolve to know that she's no less of a person because of it. Yes, she and Kirschtaria wouldn't be a good match. Yes, the idea that she and Mash could have any sort of relationship considering the circumstances is bizarre. But those feelings exist, and there's nothing wrong with her for having them.

She thinks Mash and Kirschtaria are an either/or, but those desires can exist simultaneously. She's fine the way she is, contradictions and all. And it's only when she realizes that that she's able to get up and stop Surtr.

TLDR: Ophelia's feelings for Kirschtaria and her feelings for Mash are inextricably linked because they occupy the same role in Ophelia's character arc. I think she is probably bisexual. I wish she got more screentime. I reread her FLB chapter and now she's my favorite Crypter again.

[hymnserendipity]

Tsukishima's gaslight

Angst, no gender mentioned.

It's not that he ever showed shame towards you, but he always avoided you at school. He never told anyone that he was your boyfriend, after four months of relationship if you approached him to say hello he told his friends that you were just a friend. When addressing the issue he gaslights and acts cold so one day you decided that this story had gone too far and you approached him, with a hand on his shoulder to say hello.

"They are my friend, don't mind them." He say said to his friends before glaring at you and talked to another person. "Oh hi everyone!" His friends turned to greet you and him glared at you before looking away.

"Hey" His friend, Reon asked you.

"You look quite familiar, have we met somewhere?" "Well we all study in the same school so." Reon looked around, then crossed his arms and nodded.

"Ah, that's true. What was your name again?" "Y/n, nice to meet you. Are you a friend of tsukki?" He nodded, giving you a friendly smile.

"I'm Reon, one of Tsukishima's friends. Yeah, we've been friends for quite some time. How do you know him?""I'm his s/o, actually" Tsukishima gave you a cold gaze. Reon turned to look at Tsukishima, an eyebrow raised.

"Oh, really? He didn't mention that."

He glanced at Tsukishima, a bit confused by the contrast between your statement and his cold reaction. Tsukishima didn't respond and simply looked away, his arms crossed and a displeased expression on his face. Reon seemed to pick up on the tension between you and him, looking between the two of you curiously.

"Well, congrats. I wasn't aware Tsukishima was in a relationship."

You smile at reon Reon returned the smile, somewhat reassured by your response.

You put again a hand on Tsukishima shoulder. "Well i'm going to class now, see you in my room Tsukki."He glances at you when you placed your hand on his shoulder and then nodded briefly.

"I'll see you there."

He replied, his tone still somewhat cold and dismissive.As you walked away, Reon and the others exchanged puzzled glances, clearly surprised by the revelation.

During break time he came to your class.

"Y/n, can I speak with you for a moment?" "Sure." He caught up to you and crossed his arms, his expression stern.

"What was that all about back there?" "What do you mean? He frowned, clearly displeased.

"You said you were my girlfriend in front of my friends. Why did you do that." "Can't hi greet my boyfriend?" He narrowed his eyes, not amused.

"You can greet me without making such an announcement. You know I don't like it when you bring up our relationship in front of others." "Well i don't like you so hiding me, i had to make it clear." He sighed, shaking his head.

"You're overreacting." He looked at you with a frustrated expression.

"Are you ashamed of be with me?*He raised an eyebrow, looking confused by your question.

"What? Of course not. I'm not ashamed of being with you. Why would you think that?" "Then why can't we be like every other couple? I don't mean to hold hands or stuff but your closest friends doesn't even know about me." He let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

"It's not that easy. I have my reasons for being more private about our relationship. It's not because I'm ashamed of you." "Then why" He took a moment before responding, his tone becoming more serious.

"I simply prefer to keep my personal life more private. It has nothing to do with you. Sometimes, maintaining boundaries is important for me." "But you never want to go on dates in a public space with me." He looked away, a hint of annoyance in his gaze.

"I just don't think it's necessary. We can still spend time together without it being a public spectacle." "Yeah but we only see each other late at night in my room or in your room, like mistress." He frowned at your words, clearly not liking the comparison.

"Don't say it like that. It's not about being a mistress. We have our own preferred way of spending time together." "No, you do. I would like to do a nice walk in a park, or take an ice cream, go tòothe theater." He listened to your suggestions, but his expression remained somewhat conflicted.

"I understand what you're saying. But going out in public isn't my thing. It's just how I am." He crossed his arms, his tone firm but not unkind.

"I don't mean to make you feel like I'm hiding you. That's not my intention. Our relationship is different than others, and I want us to respect each other's preferences." "It seems like i respect yours but you don't respect mine." Tsukishima let out a sigh, looking a bit frustrated.

"It's not about not respecting your preferences. I do care about you. Our preferences are just different. It doesn't mean I'm intentionally disregarding yours." "We are a couple since four months and we never went on a proper date." He frowned slightly at your words, a hint of irritation in his expression.

"What do you consider a 'proper' date? We spend time together. Isn't that enough?" "No, i mean going somewhere to eat out, or going to see a movie." He seemed somewhat bewildered by your definition of an acceptable date.

"Those are just activities. Spending time together is what matters, not the place." You sigh and he frowned seeing your reaction, clearly troubled by the conversation.

"What's the sigh for?" "You don't get It, do you? I'm tired of seen my friends dress up nicely and wait for their boyfriend to come pick them up to go somewhere nice while everything we do is stay inside my room." He crossed his arms, feeling a mix of irritation and concern in his expression.

"I understand that you have different expectations. But just because we don't go on traditional dates doesn't mean we don't spend quality time together." He looked at you with a serious expression.

"I care about you, don't doubt that. But my idea of spending time with a partner is different than what you're used to." "Well my idea is the opposite." He let out a sigh, his gaze fixed on you.

"I see that. But it doesn't mean my approach is wrong or that I don't care about you." He rubbed his temples, feeling the frustration in the air.

"Is our relationship based on whether or not we go on dates?" "A bit. I can't even say to my friends i'm dating cause you want to keep everything hidden." Tsukishima rolled his eyes, clearly exasperated by the situation.

"I didn't say you couldn't tell your friends we're together. I just like to keep our relationship more private. It's not a crime." He crossed his arms, his tone still firm.

"I'm not ashamed of you. I just don't share my personal life with everyone. Is it really that important for you to make our relationship public?" "Yes." He raised an eyebrow, a hint of surprise in his expression.

"Can you explain why it's so important to you? Why can't we just focus on our relationship and not worry about what others think?" "Because i want to be in a daylight with you, not always at night." He listened to your reasoning, his expression softening slightly.

"I understand your perspective, y/n. But it's not necessarily about 'daylight' or 'nighttime.' It's about what makes us comfortable as a couple." "Well i'm not comfortable anymore tl only meet in my room, never eat togheter, never doing anything else outside my room." He frowned, hearing the discontent in your voice.

"I didn't realize it made you feel this way. But being in a relationship doesn't necessarily require public displays of affection. It's about the connection we have." "Maybe you should search someone more similar to you then." He looked at you with a hint of surprise and confusion.

"What do you mean by that? Are you suggesting breaking up with me just because we have different preferences?" "Yes, clearly we are opposite." He seemed taken aback by your response.

"Opposite? We have some differences, but that doesn't mean we can't overcome them. Relationships should be about compromise and understanding, not just about finding someone exactly like me." "I want to go on dates with you, i want to have the chance of dress up pretty." He let out a sigh, his gaze fixed on you.

"Dressing up and going on dates aren't the only measures of a healthy relationship, you know." He crossed his arms, speaking with a more calm tone.

"Our relationship is about more than just where we go or what we do. It's about how we treat each other and the bond we share." "I'm breaking up." He widened his eyes, his expression turning serious at your words.

"Hold on, you're breaking up with me just because of this?" "It's a huge problem for me." He took a deep breath, trying to process what he was hearing.

"I understand that it's important to you, but breaking up over this feels extreme." "That's because you don't understand, and you never will. That's It, Tsukki." He looked at you with a mix of frustration and disappointment.

"So you're giving up on us just because I'm not into grand gestures?" "I'm breaking up because you always hide me, and i would like to be something outside my room. So, it was nice." He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing deeply.

"So this is it, then? You're choosing to end everything without compromise?" "How should you compromise?" He looked at you, a hint of resignation in his gaze.

"Can't we find a middle ground? Maybe we could have occasional outings without it becoming a public spectacle or sacrificing our privacy entirely?"He crossed his arms, trying to find a solution.

"I'm not saying no to all outings. I just need a balance that works for both of us." "Hmmm maybe." He raised an eyebrow, a hint of cautious optimism in his expression.

"So you're willing to consider a compromise?" "I have to think about it."

[khywren]

🎉 Time for some Self-Positivity! 🎉 

🌟 What's a scene or line you wrote that still makes you smile when you reread it? ✍️ What's something you've improved on in your writing journey? 👀 Share a link to a fic of yours that you think deserves more love!

Answer these questions, and send this to 5 writers who inspire you ❤️

@obsessedwhyyes, @deadly-diminuendo, @vividiana. @honeybee-bard, @inkymoonbunny, @arzen9, @hellethil 😭😭😭 a HUGE thanks to those of you who sent me one of these; i was gonna respond to them all individually but you all showered me in so much love that i decided to just compile everything into one big post instead and give a few answers for each question. while we're on the topic of positivity, thank you all so much for making this fandom such a delight to be a part of! i am hugging each and every one of you.

what's a scene or line you wrote that still makes you smile when you reread it?

“That doesn't mean I still can't ask you to be mine,” he says softly, eyes tracking the flush that creeps across her cheeks and stains the tips of her ears a vibrant shade of pink. His expression has grown soft again, vulnerable in a way that he has never been with anyone but her. “You will, won't you, darling?”

from my fluffy little holiday fic, frost and flame. after putting these two through so much, i'm glad i was able to give them something soft for a change. it was also my first real experience with writing so much fluff, which was fun!

Footsteps echo on the stone floor nearby as another figure alights behind her, and relief washes over Ysera as Astarion's cool hand rests on her shoulder. “On your feet, darling. I know we aren't currently on the best of terms, but dying just to spite me is a little petty, wouldn't you agree?”

this is from an unpublished act 2 chapter of adrift. i probably have another 11 or so chapters before we get here, but i'm very excited about this scene.

“She sat with me until sundown and made sure that we – that I – had somewhere safe to go,” Astarion continues. His smile turns sardonic as he adds, “In that moment, all I could think of was how weak and ashamed I felt, and she never made me apologize for any of it. She never has. I've never understood why.” ... Gale fixes Astarion with a knowing look and rests his hand on Astarion’s shoulder. “She loves you, Astarion. What other reason does she need?”

from the most recent chapter of my kinktober fic. i hate that we can't run after astarion on the docks. i'm sure a lot of us would have done anything to go sit with him and bring him some comfort. 😭

what's something you've improved on in your writing journey?

a lot, i'd like to think! but here are a few standouts:

i think i've found my voice and a style that i'm (mostly) happy with. that goes a long way towards...

being more confident with my writing. i still get nervous every time i publish something, but it's not as bad as it was when i was an itty-bitty baby fic writer back in 2023.

giving my characters more personality and letting them be the dumbasses they were destined to be. i know humor is very subjective, but i'm getting more comfortable with the mindset of, "well, i think this is funny, so i'm writing it." i owe a lot of that to @nerdallwritey, whose humor both inside and outside of fanfic has greatly inspired me!

learning from other writers. i've been trying to read more this year to improve my writing, and i can't say if that's helped yet or not, but i've also learned a lot from my fellow fic writers! i love reading someone else's fic and being inspired to drive right back into my own drafts to try out some of the things i loved from their work. honestly, i could write an essay on each and every one of my beloved moots and aspects of their writing i admire, but then we'd be here all day.

share a link to a fic of yours that you think deserves more love!

mist and shadow - my baby, my magnum opus, my absolute pride and joy. i genuinely think i cooked with this one. i LOVE the ideas that i got to play with here and i am so proud of it. i can't wait to tackle some of it from ysera's point of view when we get there in the longfic.

frost and flame - if you enjoyed the snippet i posted above, i think you'd really like this one! it's nothing but sweet, sappy fluff, but i'd be lying if i didn't say this was also one of my favorites.

adrift - ah yes, my poor, neglected longfic. this one's my own fault for not updating it in so long, but i'm really excited about ysera's story and some of the things i have planned for later down the road!

denouement - i think this is probably my best (and favorite) x reader fic. it popped off fairly well here on tumblr way back when, but i still want to give it a shoutout anyway because it's got most of the hallmarks of my writing, including the emotional smut i can never seem to get enough of.

[mikuni14]

I know I keep talking about Tharn and how wonderful he is, but I also have to say something about Phaya. Who is, on reflection, a perfect example of a "manly man"✨, the main character of an action movies, who works for me for once. He's also one of the few action/adventure/crime MLs that I find really hot and attractive, something other productions almost never achieve. Why? Because - I say this only from my perspective - what the producers THINK will be attractive to me is completely different from what I actually FIND attractive.

Phaya is a classic male hero, but he takes classic patterns of masculinity and reworks them in his own way.

Phaya looks very masculine, but in a way that I like. He's muscular, but not too much. His muscles were developed through martial arts training, sparring, something that is related to his hobby and work, not worked out just for being muscular. We see him determined and focused when he goes through training, but he also has fun sparring with his friends, instructors, WITH THARN (that's a completely different story 🔥). We see that he likes healthy competition, that he has ambitions, but he is focused on improving himself, not on proving to others that he is better than them. Phaya has a healthy approach to his body, to competition and to sports.

I like that Phaya takes care of himself, that he tries to look good (especially for his crush), BUT AT THE SAME TIME he has no qualms about finding the most embarrassing matching shirts and persuading said crush to put them on and casually stroll around the tourist area town, looking like a funny, old married couple. Phaya has a healthy attitude towards his appearance and how people perceive him (he doesn't give a fuck). The most important thing is that Tharn is by his side. In a matching shirt.

I like how active and task-oriented Phaya is, that he recognizes his own or any other problems and just does something about them. Suspicious murder? Phaya starts ivestigating. Strange dreams? Phaya has been researching it all his life, now he's going to the place where he can find answers. Tharn is not answering his calls? Phaya doesn't get offended, he doesn't create scenarios in his head, he just goes to Tharn, confronts him and comes up with a creative way to relax the stressed Tharn. Phaya acts, does research, has no qualms about asking for help and accepting help. Phaya is a pack animal, not this lone wolf bullshit.

I absolutely love how open Phaya is with his feelings, with himself. Friends? Grandmother? The Abbot? THARN? Phaya doesn't hide anything. When Tharn asks if he's feeling ok at the festival, Phaya tells him about his troubling feelings, he doesn't hide behind a straight face and "I'm fine." Phaya is not afraid or ashamed of his feelings or talking about them. Or admitting weakness, feeling bad or even fear.

what deserves a special mention is how open Phaya is about his interest in Tharn - towards Tharn and the rest of the world. Phaya is like "Tharn, I'm so interested in you and I want you to know it". And if anyone else sees this, it's not his and Tharn's problem, it's the world's problem, because Phaya is too busy with Tharn, who is all delicious right there, to worry about the rest of the world. Phaya is a grown man who knows what he wants and currently wants Tharn and to be a good cop and solve the mystery of his dreams and he will not waste his energy and time on proving his worth or anything else to the world.

Phaya has his own life BEYOND the romanse. He has a job, ambitions, a family, a home, his art, interests, and his own personal problems to face. Tharn is a part of his life, a new part, because Phaya existed as a person before Tharn.

I also like how Phaya treats his sexuality, namely he is completely ordinary and normal about it 😀 No issues, no trauma, no internal conflicts, no "finding himself", no crisis. I like the fact that he is pushy with Tharn, and although I'm normally not a big fan of kisses "without warning", it doesn't bother me in this case because Phaya is completely aware that Tharn likes him "that way". Tharn is flirting heavily with Phaya and they already had their almost kiss, so Phaya didn't cross the line with him. Besides, Tharn is also a grown man who can read Phaya's intentions, and he kissed him first - twice 😂 Phaya's sexuality is not a problem in this story, he is very simple about it.

Phaya is the kind of action hero that simply suits me. He seems to fit the type: he's aggressive, cocky, talented, smart, inventive, handsome and athletic. But he is also - in a quite ordinary way- nice, caring, friendly, supportive and helpful. He doesn't put himself in the center, he doesn't make everything about himself. He's also very funny, doesn't take himself seriously, can be a classic dudebro, goes to parties where he plays stupid games 🍾 and he is open with his feelings. He is naturally, effortlessly cool, but sometimes he is a bit pathetic and doesn't get everything right.

For me, Phaya is Phaya from the scene in the tub of icy water, hugging and supporting Tharn (because he wants BOTH of them to pass this test), it is Phaya from the scene in the bathroom, super sensitive to Tharn's mood, it is Phaya visiting tourist attractions with his crush and tucking him in to sleep. This is Phaya knowing when he can allow himself more with Tharn and knowing when to stop. This is Phaya who doesn't lie to Tharn, who seduces him, gives him time, gives him space, but at the same time leaves no doubt about how he feels about him and makes sure that Tharn is aware of it. It's Phaya intoxicated by Tharn's closeness and also coming up with cute nicknames for him.

Phaya is a classic model of masculinity without all the toxic, violent, stupid alpha bullshit, but with self-awareness, true personal freedom, the ability to function in a relationship, a family, a team, society, readiness for self-development and emotional maturity. He is a natural leader who can apologize to his teammates. Phaya redefined the male action hero type and I love him for it 💖

[lilac-den]

Oooohhh, I like how accurate it is for the ROs to act exactly that way, Maverick’s trying not to think dishonored of MC, Rydigan smoothly changing the conversation, Ittania just so excited to know someone new and unconsciously direct others' interests, Enid being wary of the fact the scars seems like battle scars... They're all fit to the ROs character, can't wait to see them in the near future chapter 2. Now, what would the ROs reaction be if someone really try to disregard MC due to the scars? In fact... Can we get a snippet with all 4 of them include? (P.S.: I can absolutely imagine Sylphina holding a gun towards the said offenders and proclaim to ask: Who are you to deem my dearest cousin ugly!? Get out you creak, I promise I won't shot you! (Ittania would be clapping by sides lol

Honestly, I kinda want to add such a scene into the game. While MC is probably used to the scars and isn't ashamed of it, I can imagine them feeling more shameful of the fact they're letting the ROs hang out with them. After all, they have such a good reputation - why would they ever mingle with someone with hideous rumours? Which led to the scenario of:

Maverick: He would be quick to guard MC, asking strictly of what the offender dared say. "Regardless of the circumstances with their scars, [offender's name and title], offending a cousin of a Countess and a companion of the Princess is unbecoming of any noble. Am I to understand that not only are you offending the Princess's companion, but the Princess herself for choosing someone, as you said, 'so hideously disfigured'? Or you mean to insult Countess Sylphina's beloved and only relative, who you describe to be 'an uncouth, uncultured, misshapen Neanderthal' despite never having met even once before?"

Which leads to the offender stammering and stumbling out an apology and thus led to Maverick getting annoyed and remind the person of their station before letting them off with a warning.

Rydigan: "Hey now, what's all this about?" Rydigan would slide right into the conversation. "I'm terribly sorry for interrupting, but I could have sworn my ears were burning from the sounds of grisly comments."

"Oh, do not worry, Sir Rydigan. I was simply stating some facts with [Title] [Name] is all."

Rydigan's eyes sharpen and so did his smile, the tips of his fang-like teeth almost peeking out. "Facts, you say? Like what?"

"Oh!" The offender exclaims with excitement and starts. "Like how it must have been dreadful for them to receive such a horrendous scar from the fire, to live and walk about with it all day long."

"The fire?" Rydigan asks and tilts his head slightly, both curious and careful. "You mean the one that cost them their parents? The one where Countess Sylphina, who trades with your town the necessary food to survive the winter, lost her aunt and uncle before saving her precious cousin and only family?"

Sweat begins to bead upon the offender's forehead. "Uhm-"

"And you speak of living and walking about with the scar like it's a horrible thing." Rydigan releases [Name] from his hold but doesn't move away from them. "And yet, it is a proof of survival. Much like the scars our soldiers and knights obtained from fighting our battles as we lead them." A gleam comes onto Rydigan's eyes. "Unless you're saying...people who are scarred should perish and never see the light of day?"

The offender snaps. "Now don't you twist my words-"

"How am I twisting your words?" Rydigan blinks, surprised by such a reaction. But [Name] knows it's simply an innocent play. "Remember, you said so yourself." Rydigan clears his throat and impersonates the offender, word for word with clear pronunciation and tone. "It must have been dreadful to receive such a horrendous scar, to live and walk about it all day long." Rydigan spreads out a hand to the offender, presenting the figure to all watching this spectacle. "In fact, I believe our king and even the rulers before him bear scars from protecting our kingdom. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you think the royal family should perish too just for being scarred." He points at the offender casually. "Am I wrong?"

The flustered expression and tense silence surrounding the offender is enough for a smile to bloom upon Rydigan's face.

Ittania: "Hey!" Ittania walks on over immediately, startling the offender and [Name] with her booming voice. Before the offender could make out a comment or greeting, Ittania cuts to the chase. "What did I just hear you say?"

"Lady Ittania," the offender swallows nervously, places a hand upon their chest and then bow their head respectfully, "forgive me, I did not mean to sully your ears-"

"That's not what I asked." Ittania frowns. "I'm asking what did I just hear you say. You could tell me if you managed to tell [Title] [Name], right?"

"Uhm..." The offender glances at [Name] and, feeling that sense of protectiveness, Ittania moves to block their sight from [Name].

"Well?" Ittania crosses her arms against her chest, imposing an intimidating stance. The offender swallows again, sweat running down from their brow.

"I-I simply...simply made a comment about their appearance."

"And that comment happens to be?" The offender opens their mouth but no words escape. Irritated, Ittania emphasizes further. "Well? We're waiting." She growls out, like a warning.

At this point, the offender knew they're stuck in a hole. "I...said the Wan...Wanderer..."

"The Wanderer what?"

"...The Wanderer must be ashamed to think their scars are worth anything."

A heavy silence covers the room, like a heavy blanket committed to suffocating the party. It's so deathly silent that a pin drop might equate to the ring of a gong.

But what's palpable is the fury in Ittania's eyes, one of her hands gripping her crossed arm so hard that no doubt her muscles are probably bulging underneath her formal wear.

"So you're telling me," she starts, tense, "that you saw the Wanderer, who you never met before and is new to the capital, walked up to them and insulted them right off the bat?"

The offender nods.

Ittania steps to the side and gestures to [Name]. "Them. The person who saved Princess Bellarosa?"

Another, albeit very nervous, nod.

"...Are you a fucking idiot?!"

It took Maverick, Rydigan and [Name] to hold Ittania back and prevent her from spewing profanities befitting a sailor.

Enid: She heard it all, clear as day and just as loud as she would hear from standing right in front of the offender. It doesn't bother her nor does it matter to her. After all, people insult one another all the time - mostly behind their back. This is pretty much an introduction to nobility for the Wanderer. It's not such a big deal.

But boy, does the haughtiness in the offender's voice irritate her immensely.

As Enid sips upon her third glass of red wine, glaring at the sight of the offender laughing and mocking [Name] about the scars, she finds herself more and more annoyed by the niggling sensation inside her.

Then the offender sneered, reaching out-

"Hey!"

And just as sudden, the offender found their outfit stained with the colour of red wine.

"Oh my," Enid covers her mouth with her gloved hand, her other holding the wine glass dripping with the crimson liquid, "I'm very sorry about that, [Noble's title]."

"I'll say!" The offender exclaims, horrified by the new flaw upon their pricey outfit. "You ruined my outfit!"

"And I do so apologize for that." Enid lowers the hand on her mouth and smiles - a smile that doesn't reach her green orbs. "I just get so clumsy when I drank one too many drinks. After all, you never know how badly things could get from being intoxicated." She tries all her might to avoid glancing over at [Name]. The curiosity of their reaction is none of her concern. None at all. "Like spilling a drink...or offending the scarred noble who saved the Princess of our kingdom."

At the harsh implications in her tone, the offender stares at her, confused for a moment. But Enid has since dropped her smile and settles her wine glass upon the tray of a passing servant, letting said servant walk away with the empty glass before continuing.

"I suppose I wasn't clear enough." She turns her eyes back to the offender, gaze unwavering and face leaving little to tell. "Be grateful I stopped you with red wine before someone imprison you in grime for insulting the chosen companion of the Princess. Unless your goal was to highlight your outfit in red blood, that shade might just work."

"Lady Enid-"

Enid holds a hand up. "Do not try to guile your way out. Just walk away, stuff your mouth with food and save your breath. You've offended more than enough people as is."

"But Lady Enid, this is-!"

"If you believe this is preposterous," Enid glares, "shall I bring in Countess Sylphina to inform her of your needling towards her cousin? Or would you rather I inform the king that his daughter's companion is disregarded by his own subject just because of how they looked?"

The offender's tongue retracts deep in their mouth at that moment. Taking Enid's 'advice' to heart, they bow their head and barely mumble out something (an apology? A farewell? Something in between, from what Enid can make out) before turning and running for, as Enid mentioned, the food.

Enid finally decides to glance over to [Name]...and immediately her face displays a frustration at the satisfied feeling inside her upon seeing the shocked expression on their face.

"What?" She snaps at them in an instant. "They were getting annoying."

[krislikofan]

Hii!! I'm here for tell you about my pokemon horizons AU!! (Liko×Dot yeah)

Dot, wanting to progress, agreed to Ametio’s offer to join the explorers, this act greatly affected Liko, she held a very strong grudge against Dot, and had difficulty making contact with others. Roy tried to support her and the others, but for everyone, Dot’s act was such a strong blow that Roy often simply cried so that no one would see. (btw, in this AU Dot and Liko were in love with each other, so you need to remember that too)

After half a year, when everyone accepted Dot's departure, everyone began to get back on their feet and try to move on with their lives. Yes, Liko often cried, because Dot was almost her closest person.

But, when everything seemed to be getting better, the explorers began to threaten Liko that if she did not join them on her own, they would harm her loved ones and do everything to make their life extremely uneasy, and they could do this without problems, because without Dot - they were very vulnerable. Therefore, Liko made an independent decision to join the explorers so that her loved ones would be safe, and this also dealt an extremely strong blow to everyone.

Once there, she noticed Dot, who was completely different, but Dot was too embarrassed in front of Liko, so she didn't even look into her eyes once Liko got there. Four years have passed since these events, and all this time Liko endured a disgusting attitude towards herself, all the information about the terapagos was drawn from her, she constantly trained to protect herself in case of anything, and every year her psyche collapsed more and more. She and Dot became full members of the explorers, Liko and Dot had a bad relationship, Dot was often rude to Liko, and Liko only realized more how much she missed the past, how she and Dot were very close to each other.

But did Dot hate Liko? Not at all, she just pretended to hate. All this time she was disgustingly ashamed, she didn’t want to look pathetic in Liko’s eyes, she didn’t want to show her that she had made a mistake, Dot treated Liko this way only because she wanted her not to become attached to her the same way as before , because if she does something like this. mistake - then she will again see how she falls in Liko’s eyes. Dot loved her just the same, and she was ashamed of her feelings, she saw how Liko was suffering, and could not do anything about it.

Liiko didn’t hate Dot, she most likely felt more sorry for her, but, didn’t she choose this path for herself then? From that moment on, Liko felt a very strong resentment towards Dot, because she had sworn allegiance to the researchers, but over time,it became more and more clear to her that Dot was just a naive child, like Liko herself. Previously, there was a very close connection between them, all the moments they spent together, everything that happened between them, Dot was too close a person for Liko, and her action destroyed their connection. Deep in her soul - Liko also saw in Dot today - the Dot who was with her, the one who was happy.

Over time, Liko and Dot got closer and closer to each other (I will make a separate post about this), they understood each other’s problems, and began to treat each other more softly, after all this they entered into a relationship that no one knew about. The main thing in this Au is that their love has passed through hatred and time. There is no ending yet, you can think and think about it, but it will come in time.

Thanks for reading!! (If you have questions, I will be glad to answer!!)