#and i'm not wholly satisfied but whatever

[reiderwriter]

🌙 Like You Did With Her 🌙

Spencer Reid x female! Reader

Part of the CM Kink Bingo Challenge

Requested: Can I request Spencer x female!reader who are in an established relationship and she sees him kiss cat that one time. And once the case is over she’s not actually mad cause she understands he had to but she kinda plays it up a bit like ‘I don’t think you’ve ever kissed me like that’

Warnings: BDSM themes, dom! Spencer Reid, mentions of cheating, voyeurism, cuckolding, exhibitionism, bondage, handcuffs, penetrative sex (P in V), consensual degradation (use of whore and slut), anal play, cum play, implied unprotected sex, unconventional sex location (non-public), rough sex, clit stimulation, etc.

A/N: Additional warning - you may not see God's blessing if you read on. To say I got carried away would be an understatement. If you're reading this and you know me, do not ask questions. Simply separate the art from the artist. It's what I want (I'm being dramatic).

Masterlist || Bingo Board

You'd promised Spencer that you wouldn't let Cat Adams or anything she said or did get to you. You'd waven him off on his “date,” kissed him goodbye, and then sat on his couch for hours worrying.

And you'd kept worrying as the hours passed, until you'd heard voices in the hallway and then movement, and the door was opening and you saw it.

Your boyfriend savagely pushing another woman up against a wall, fighting for control, his large hands spread wide and tensed against skin, his lips sucking and kissing and preening, and showing his control.

You watched for entirely too long before you accidentally made your presence known.

It was a game to Cat, and you knew enough about her to know that you couldn't show any reaction. You didn't know if she'd only get more dangerous if she knew just how much you'd enjoyed watching that.

You held the conversation still, letting Spencer push at whatever game it was he was playing with Cat, but you weren't wholly there. Instead, your mind was playing the comparison game.

You loved Spencer. Spencer loved you. When you had sex with Spencer, it was clear that Spencer loved you.

And maybe love was all there was to it because based on what you'd now seen, there wasn't exactly that much heat when you did it.

If he could be so rough - and you wanted him to be rough - then why wasn't he being rough with you?

He may have been playing games with Cat, but you'd fucked him enough to know the subtle postures of his arousal. You caught it in the way he held himself, the way his breathing hitched, the way he was looking.

Not just at her, but at you, too. As if he were caught between the two of you, unsure who to force to their knees first.

So you let him do the talking and tried to distract yourself from a moment of arousal that you feared would never be satisfied.

To your credit, you lasted two weeks. You hadn't made love to him that night because it was too soon, and he was desperately grovelling in apology for something you weren't angry about in the slightest.

Sure, you should've been angry. If not because he'd made out with another woman than he'd made out with a sociopathic serial killer specifically, one who'd made his life a misery. But you couldn't bring yourself to be upset when your hands worked their way between your legs every time you thought about it.

A week after, he caught you pleasuring yourself, and he'd taken over, kissing you gently and whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

His touch was pathetically gentle, and after you came, he rolled off the bed and took himself to the bathroom, leaving you alone.

A week after that, he initiated sex again, but it was soft, sweet, and so warm that you felt almost ashamed for wanting him to choke you out even just a little bit.

Spencer wasn't exactly unaware of your preoccupation.

You hadn't kissed him without frowning in two weeks, and you hadn't initiated anything sexual yourself. There was still the casual intimacy, the friendship, the I Love You’s, but you seemed distant and he knew he fucked up.

You drew a line in the sand when he started coming home with flowers.

“Spencer-? What is this?” You said as he pushed the bouquet into your hands, kissing you hello as he walked through the door.

“Flowers. Lilies, to be specific, you like lilies, right? I didn't ask, I should've asked-”

“Why did you buy me flowers?” You said, still just staring at him and the guilt on his face.

“I thought - You like flowers.”

“I do. But I also like to know the reason behind the flowers, so spill.”

He hesitated for a moment and let out a sigh, running his hands through his hair as he looked between you and the flowers.

“Lilies are apology flowers.”

“Spencer,” you said, almost exasperated, throwing your hand sin the air and walking back to the kitchen.

“You're upset. You're obviously upset. I kissed Cat, and-”

“You did a little more than kiss her.”

“Y/N,” his voice getting slightly deeper, his voice warning you to tread lightly. “You're jealous.”

“I already told you I'm not,” you said, even though that was half a lie. “It's just-”

“Just what? Jealousy? Speak to me, Y/N, you've been ignoring me all week.”

His brow was furrowed, his stress evident in the hard lines of his body, his stiff shoulders, the line of his mouth. You wanted to keep pressing his buttons until that anger, that stress, boiled over, and you got to experience what Cat had.

“Sorry,” you said, dropping the lilies on the counter in your kitchen and turning around to face him once again. “I haven't been ignoring you, though. Ignoring someone is when you make out with another woman in a doorway, not knowing your girlfriend is sitting on a couch watching the entire thing.”

“Y/N!”

“What? I'm not allowed to tell the truth now? Are you afraid you'll feel too guilty?”

“I am so sorry, Y/N, it was-”

“I'm not.” You said quickly as he stepped forward. You knew that if you let him get further in his apology, he'd bundle you up in his arms, and gently carry you away to kiss and hug and cuddle and have sex in the most dignified, loving way imaginable. You didn't want that.

“What?”

“I'm not sorry. I lied earlier. I'm not sorry, I'm fucking envious.”

You slid your hands down his chest as he stilled again, watching g your hand descend to the front of his pants. You grabbed his belt and pulled him closer.

“Spencer, why have you never fucked me like that?”

His eyes widened in shock, but they quickly flicked back to your hands as you slowly unbuckled his belt.

“I… I didn't fuck her, let's get that straight.”

“I know,” you said, leaning up to whisper in his ear. “I was watching.”

His hands gripped the counter as he stared at you straight-faced, finally locking eyes with you as you pulled his belt free and dropped it to the floor.

“I don't want to treat you the way I treated her,” he said, voice quieter but still full of tension, as if ready to shout at any second.

“You don't want to fuck me?” You asked, even as you grabbed his cock through his pants, taunting him with the fact that he did. You knew he did, because you held the evidence in your hand.

“No…! Yes, I do, but not... like that.”

“Not like what?” You said, pushing his shirt up and out of his pants so your hands had more room to explore, fewer layers of clothing to obstruct.

“Like… like a… fuck, stop distracting me.”

“I'm not distracting you, I'm trying to prove to you that this is meaningless and that you should bend me over and fuck me like a cheap whore.”

“Y/N!” he said, either exasperated, or desperately horny from your grip on his hard cock.

He grabbed your hand and pulled it away from him, pinning it against the counter with his own.

“Stop.”

“No,” you spat back at him, pressing closer to him and wiggling your hand free so it could stroke his dick again. “Not until you make me.”

His lips dropped to yours in a kiss, but this time, you could tell you'd made progress. An annoyed harrumph echoed through the kiss, and you fought his tongue back as he tried to take control of your mouth, attempting to gently lead as he always did.

“Y/N,” he moaned, as your hands fought off his to fondle his cock, unbuttoning his pants and pulling it free as you stroked it gently, teasingly.

You had to show him a taste of his own medicine.

“Y/N, we need to talk, keep your hands to yourself.”

“No,” you said, stroking harder, spotting into your hand while keeping eye contact with him. “Unless you want to try and stop me?”

He watched your hand fall back to his cock, watched you tease the tip with one small stroke, then another, and then another.

And then he finally broke.

He pushed your hands off quickly, twisting one arm up and around your back, pinning it there as he grabbed his handcuffs and attached your hands together behind your back.

“Spencer!” you gasped.

“Cheap whore? That's what you wanted?” He said, pulling your hips back so his cock could nestle in the fabric of your skirt.

You nodded, rolling your shoulders to test the limits of your new restraints. Restraints you knew had been on Cat two weeks ago. You wondered if he was thinking about her now as his cock got harder and harder. You wondered why that turned you on so much.

“Okay. I'll give you what you want, but don't complain after.”

“Please, like you could actually hurt me that much.”

His hand immediately crept up to your neck and wrapped around it delicately. He didn't press down, but the threat was there as he leant down to whisper in your ear.

“Y/N?” You nodded in response, not chancing talking back. “Shut the fuck up.”

His hands pulled your skirt up first, and you found yourself without underwear just as fast, though you felt it suspended between your knees. He ran a finger through your folds, pushing your legs wider with one hand as the other grabbed a fistful of hair and slowly forced your head onto the counter.

This was new. All of this was new. The position, the location, the emotion. The handcuffs. You struggled against them again but didn't say a word, as his hand gently came down on your bare ass.

“Ah,” you cried out in surprise, jumping slightly as you felt the impact.

“I said be quiet,” he said from behind you, inspecting your pretty pink pussy as you displayed yourself for him.

One finger slowly slid into you, and you bit your lip to hold back a moan. It was joined by a second finger, and then he started moving them.

He'd touched you before, buried himself deep inside even, but this new angle felt different, and your eyes rolled shut as he pumped in and out. With two weeks of frustration, you were perfectly wet for him already, and you were almost embarrassed about the wet sounds his ministrations were causing already.

“S-Spencer,” you moaned, pushing your hips back into him, in time with his fingers.

He pulled out his hands and slapped your ass again, hard, as you cried out.

“You want to be treated like a cheap whore, but even they follow instructions, Y/N.”

You heard him spit on his hands again, and then his digits returned.

Except they didn't return to your pussy, but a spot higher up.

His fingers lubed up your ass with his spit and your arousal as he gently slid a finger into your ass, and you cried out in shock, or pain, or arousal, or whatever it was that had your head sagging to the counter, your legs lifting onto your tiptoes to allow him better access to your holes.

“You're even tighter here than there…” he said, almost curiously, as of transfixed by watching his fingers enter and exit you.

You were so distracted by his fingers, you barely noticed his cock probing at your pussy before it slid into you entirely.

You really couldn't help the mess you made of the kitchen counter. When he pushed into you, he used his free hand to lift your leg slightly, and inadvertently pushed your clit into the edge of the kitchen counter. With every thrust of fingers and hips, you ground into the edge, pussy flooding with juices as you were stimulated on all fronts.

You almost begged him to play with your nipples as well, just to see what the experience would feel like, how hard you could cum when every area of your body was being bombarded with pleasure.

As it was, the cock and handcuffs probably would've been enough. But you felt the shame of your arousal dripping down your leg, piddling at your feet. You heard him questioning which part of the experience it was that had led to you being such a desperate slut.

Was it his cock? Was it the fingers in your ass? Was it the handcuffs? Was it the fact that you were still imagining him doing exactly this to another woman while you watched on?

You didn't know, and he didn't degrade you further by asking.

His hand gripped your hair again, pulling you back harshly so your back arched, and your clit painfully pushed down into the edge of the counter.

With a scream - a loud, sudden, uncontrollable thing - you came, letting loose a torrent of cum down your leg.

Still, he kept thrusting, but he let go of his previous vow of silence.

“You are such a cheap whore, aren't you?” He said, removing his finger from your ass, hands gently gripping your hips as he pulled your ass cheeks, inspecting how far he'd stretched you, how much your hole gaped open.

“You've been so jealous that I wasn't tossing you around all this time. My cock could've been buried inside someone else, and you'd have enjoyed that. Wouldn't you?”

You could only moan in response, too scared to confirm or deny. You wanted more.

“You know, Y/N,” he started, leaning down to your ear again, squishing you painfully against the hard counter. “Cheap whores don't deserve cream pies.”

Just as you approached another climax, he pulled out of you, letting you crumple to the floor without his weight counterbalancing your own.

Then he hooked a finger under your jaw and lifted your head up. He barely managed to grunt out “close your eyes” before his cum was shooting out over your face.

“Fuck, I'm sorry, I love you… I love you, I love you, I love you, I love-”

Your lips parted in shock as a spurt hit your chin, your eyes. It was even in your hair. He aimed after that and managed to get a good amount of it on your tongue as you grimaced away from his hold.

But his hands held you still, and you swallowed it, even wiping the spurts from your cheek and eyes and licking off your hands as you cleaned up.

When he was finished, Spencer let you go and leaned back against the kitchen counter. When you could open your eyes again, you stared up at him in shock before collapsing down and laying on the cold floor of your kitchen, chest heaving.

“I knew…. I knew it would be more…” you said, unable to find the words to describe the deeds you'd just done.

“But I wasn't expecting… most of that.”

“I'm so-”

“Do not fucking apologise,” you demanded, pointing a stern finger at him as he pulled himself together.

“Next time you bring flowers home, I'm going to be expecting that as a follow up,” you laughed, letting him help you off the floor and release you from your constraints.

“So,” he said, playing with the cuffs as he gave you an awkward, straight smile. “Bondage, huh?”

You burst into laughter as you grabbed him by the tie and pulled him all the way to the bathroom.

“By the way,” you said, beginning to strip yourself off, distracted only by your attempts to strip him off as well. “You're cleaning the kitchen after we're done.”

[zhongrin]

INCUBUS ZHONGLI who's lacking energy and needed to feed caught your sweet scent when passing your apartment window which was open and sleeping peacefully was you. You were so helpless so easy to take advantage of so deliciously innocent to corrupt it's making him drool but he wants to take his time with you slowly make you fall for him and him alone. Over the course of 4 months he's been in your dreams giving you sensations you never felt before the overwhelming pleasure he gives you.

Dream after dream you always see him this mysterious man with brown hair golden eyes it was like he was sculpted by the gods like they were telling you he was your soulmate but you were so so wrong about him entirely, he is nothing but a demon a sex demon who will TAKE whatever he wants weither they come willing or by force.

It has been a year now that Zhongli has entangle you in his web and just like he wanted you know nothing but him only him and it was about time he showed you what he truly is and claim you as his mate where you can never think of escaping him.

~~Later that night~~

You were fast asleep naked in your bed (the day was hot and so was the night) when Zhongli entered your room in his true form golden horns that curve along his head, arms black with veins of gold running up along them, a long serpentine tail with ridges lining all the way to the tip with tuffs of fur and eyes that's like molten gold glowing ever so brightly in the dark room

"Ah my dear jewel the time to claim you is now, you will be mine wholly for all eternity"

"Now then let's give you a little dream to loosen and wake you while I devour you"

~~In your dream~~

The sounds of high pitched moans and whines spill from your lips breathlessly begging the man between your thighs for more or to stop probably the former, he was devouring you like it was his last meal he'll ever get after cumming for the nth time face and chest covered in your slick, his tongue long and forked reached place you never knew that made you feel this good

"My dear don't tell me you're tired already and we haven't even begun this is just me preparing you for what's about to come"

After finishing his sentence his form started to change into that of a beast (a sexy beast at that🤤) that towers over you like a predator would to a prey with nowhere to escape

"It's time for you to wake up my darling"

~~End of dream~~

And when you come too the sight that greeted you was the man who you called Zhongli is eating you out like it was his last meal in a long time (which was true) but he was different his appearance changed into the beast from your dreams, it until you felt him suck harsh against your clit did you snap out of it letting out a whorish moan chuckling against you he said

"Finally you're awake darling I've been enjoying my meal for the past 15 minutes now let's continue where we left off in that dream of yours"

Did I mentioned that he is fucking HUGE both in size and girth with ridges on the underside of his cock no well now you know so that strench is going to leave you gaping that's for sure.

"I'm going mark and breed you until you're nothing but my little personal cumdump that'll take all of my cum whenever I want"

And with that he slowly push his cock in making sure you feel the ridges of his cock inch by inch until he's balls deep, letting out a cry and a few tears at the burning sensation of his cock strenching your cunt

"I-It hurts please it hurts"

"Shush it's okay my darling the pain the pass soon shush I'm going to take good care of you"

Whispering sweet nothings to you in hopes of helping you relax and adjust to the strench of his cock in that tight cunt of yours after a minute or two you tell him it's ok to move

"A warning to you my dear once I start I won't stop until I'm satisfied that I've fuck you senseless even if you pass out I won't stop is that understood"

"Yes I understand"

"Good then I shall not hold back"

You had lost count of how many times you've cummed that night probably around your 10th orgasm and yet Zhongli has cummed a total of 3 times and as pre his warning he did not stop even when you passed out from being overstimulated with orgasm after orgasm right after the other, Zhongli on the other hand had his fill of your energy but it wasn't enough he couldn't get enough of it he's addicted to it to you and he will never let you go after all he did claim you before you even knew of him by placing a special tattoo right on your womb after all you are his and his only😈

Oh one more thing incubus semen is more potent than human semen but let's keep this as a little secret 🤫

Did a little drawings of that very special womb tattoo couldn't decide which I like more both are the same but one has an extra detail to it

cw. total filth utc - you have been warned

oh to be incubus!zhongli's little darling whom he uses as he pleases as his personal fucktoy. oh to be utterly overwhelmed by his serpentine tongue, his ridged cock, his entire being. oh to be his little cumdump who gets filled up every single night, to be the vessel that carries his demihuman offspring... hskdjskjdlsjddl *grabby hands* gihb meeeeeeeeeeeeee

that second pic with childe... oooooghdjshfjsk what if. what if demon!childe caught on to what his friend has been doing? and he's so curious... what does this puny human look like, how captivating are you to make the normally so stoic and composed incubus so addicted? so he visits you one night and sneakily peeks from your window, and he sees you. such an obedient thing folded in half as you're being made to take a cock that's too big for your human pussy. babbling incoherently, eyes unfocused, singing so beautifully in such a sweet voice.

and oh, the way you beg when the demon teases you. the way you arch your back and pant like a bitch in heat as the dark fingers of his friend tweaks your pebbled nipples and pinches your raw clit. the way you apologize when you cum without permission and the delicious-looking tears cascading down your cheeks as you're made to lay across your bonded mate's lap, made to take the harsh slaps to your ass, made to choke around the ridged cock slathered with the mix of precum and your own releases from the previous rounds...

childe thinks he too, is captivated by you.

so who can blame him when he knocks on your window the next night, a sultry grin on his lips as he presents himself for you, offering you double the pleasure and some demonic magic that could spice up your night with your favorite incubus?

he's fine with third wheeling for now... eventually, you'll realize that he can give you more than what his friend can offer.

[wellwells]

Depravity

Alice looked at the cctv image of the red haired woman. She was just staring... smiling. The High-Security lab just called her "Depravity". She was secured to the wall with a leash on her neck.

"She can't be this dangerous, right? Thick walls, soundproof glass, what is she?"

"She is a auditory and optical hazard. Don't interact with her in any way. I know you're new here, so i want you to be safe." Hannah talked in a very serious tone, more serious than Alice expected.

"But what exactly is going on with her?"

"We don't really know, she suddenly appeared in a some small village, and almost got killed. Then she got shipped here in a soundproof container, restrained and cuffed like a serial killer or something. It's our job to find out what the hell is wrong with her. We've been instructed to not interact with her in ANY way."

Alice looked back at the camera footage of the girl just vacantly staring at nothing, smiling. How can she be so dangerous?

The rest of the week was long and tedious. Alice and Hanna did tests on "Depravity", at least they tried to. They spoke to her through a one-way speaker, getting no response whatsoever. They tried to give her bread and water through a tube, but she was wholly uninterested in it, needing neither food or water... or a toilet, sleep or air. "What the everliving fuck is this thing?" Hanna turned the access to fresh air in the cell back on. "I was afraid that would kill her, but she just... fucking smiles!"

Alice was just as confused- and intrigued. There was something about her; her red hair, her fake-looking freckles, her tik-tok esque makeup. She definitely looked just like some random E-Girl from Instagram, she looked so human... so... cute.

Over the weekend, Alice was only thinking about whatever this "Depravity" was. Why was she called that? Alice was invited to a party by her friends, but she didn't go. She just sat at home, thinking about this strange girl. When monday came, Alice was determined to do something drastic.

"Hey Alice, you look different. New makup routine?"

"Not really. I don't know? I guess i used more makup than usual."

While talking to Hannah, she secretly stole her keycard. Then she waited for Hannahs break, seizing the opportunity.

She walked towards the thick door, her heart pounding. She had to know, she just had to see her in person.

Alice opened the door, and there she was, just sitting there, staring as usual, paying no attention to her guest.

Alice walked closer and expected her to suddenly scream or jump. Alice stood there for a good minute, realizing that... nothing is happening.

The more she looked at the girl, the more she realized that it's just that: a girl. Nothing special... merely a girl... a cute, sexy, totally not special- Alice snapped out of it. "What are you? Who are you?"

No response. Alice grew a little impatient, annoyed. "Listen, i know you're just pretending to be mute!"

No response, not even a glance.

Something brew inside Alice's mind. "Hey! I'm talking to you, you bitch!" Alice realized what she just said, but couldn't bring herself to apologize. There was something growing in her, some kind of hatred, some kind of superiority.

"You're just a girl! Just a dumb fucking girl!"

Why was she insulting her? It felt so right, so just. It was heavy in the air around Depravity, some kind of slut-aura. An invisible draw, an athmosphere, like positively and negatively charged atoms. A screaming, glowing difference in power dynamics. Alice noticed the girls smile widening. Alice snapped.

"Oh yeah, you like this, you slut?"

The girl looked at Alice, her eyes piercing into her head, injecting her venom.

"Fuck, what... is going on?"

Alice took the leash and detached it from the wall, the other end still on Depravitys neck.

"I get it now... I understand what you are! You're a slut, an object. Just... a whore!"

Depravity just smiled her usual smile, satisfied.

Alice yanked on the leash hard, sending Depravity to the floor. Depravity grinned, letting out a mix between chuckle and moan.

"You're so fucking dumb. Look at you!"

Alice kneeled beside Depravity, holding her head up by her hair. "Dumb slut!" Alice spit in her face, Depravity eagerly trying to lick it up.

Alice spent the next few minutes spitting, insulting, kicking and... biting... groping... kissing...

Their eyes met again and Alice felt her memories melt, shift and contort, her personality slowly swallowed up by a black hole.

It slowly dawned on her, minute by minute. While groping and kissing the dumb slut, she noticed a pattern. Alice was also pretty, and had typical E-Girl makeup... She also had a sexy figure and nice, small but perky boobs. Alice noticed that she didn't want to insult her any more. They were the same.

Hannah returned, making the mistake of leaving the door open. "Alice?! What the fuck are you doing?!" Hannah now stood in the doorway.

Alice, half-aware, glanced at Hannah. She couldn't answer, her ability to speak already traded in for the knowledge of it's obsolence. Sluts don't talk, they just smile.

Hannah tried to pry the two whores apart, to no avail. One of Alice's hand was in Depravitys pants, the other grabbed her hair. Depravity groped Alice's boobs, frequently yanking on Alice's hair as well. They giggled and moaned, dumb animals.

"Alice, what has gotten into you?! You're behaving like a slut!"

Depravity looked into Hannahs eyes. Hannah was right. They were sluts.

Hannah yanked on Depravitys leash while pulling on Alice's hair.

In Hannahs eyes, the experiment was a success.

She spit in Alice's face. She was so cute...

[tacky-optic]

SINNERS, ALL OF 'EM

the seven deadly sins + the gang = way too much overthinking

Lupin's Gluttony The world's his for the talking, yet he can never be satisfied. That'd be a real bummer if he were anyone else, but that hunger for more challenges, more adventures, seems to only add more fuel to an already roaring fire. He's a Glutton for a lot of things: Punishment, mainly. But also attention and experiences. His curiosity is insatiable. The only issue with Lupin's Gluttony is that he isn't inherently wasteful, which is a pretty glaring caveat. In that case, the big question would be "does the damage he leave in his wake outweigh that which was stolen in the first place?"

Jigen's Sloth/Envy "Man, I'm too old for this shit" incarnate, with a little dash of "I'm still going to silently judge you from my dark little corner, though" on top. It isn't Sloth "I'm gonna take a decade to get to this" so much as it is "I'm gonna do what you want me to do so rapidly and effectively that you're gonna think twice about waking me up again after I get back to my nap." But he really doesn't do jack-all if it isn't Lupin-related. If it were just him all on his lonesome, he'd kind of just rot. He is indifferent to his effectiveness. Bored, even. His loyalty to Lupin is an inherent aversion of his responsibilities as an individual.

His Envy brings him to action. He's a man of a lot of subtle wants and no willpower to take them, but with the right motivator, he'll bring down armies. Fujiko is a pretty good spur-on, as well as anything that remotely puts Lupin in the line of inconvenience or danger. If it's for one of his very, very few friends, he'd go through hell and high water just to get them a decent sandwich or something. Just be thankful his Envy's benign instead of malicious...

Goemon's Pride Mr. "Once again, I have cut a worthless object". There's literally an entire movie about his ego getting so utterly shattered that he gets all cagey/stabby mode about it for the rest of the movie, on top of training so hard he rewrites his entire goddamn nervous system just so he can do said stabby better. It's fantastic. To dedicate oneself so fully to one skill, then to restrict it to your own judgement as to not tarnish it, feels like the antithesis of humility. Pride, in a biblical sense, is to sever oneself from God; to become so wholly individual and confident in said fact that you forsake conventional belief in favor of your own. So congrats on netting the literal Worst sin, Goemon, you've earned it. God ain't shit when you can cut through anything.

Fujiko's Greed Does... does this even need elaborating. She's a woman that knows exactly what she wants and exactly how to get it, plain and simple. Why settle for anything less than the best?

Zenigata's Wrath/Lust What a wombo-combo, damn. This guy's the definition of love/hate. He's a man simultaneously impassioned and overwhelmed by his emotions, yet they lend so heavily to his professional and personal effectiveness that without them, he wouldn't be him anymore. Wrath and Lust go hand in hand, in a roundabout sort of way. It's about loving something so much that you want to crush it. A brutal dimorphous expression of emotion. To long for something to intensely, so vehemently, that it guides every action, fuels every decision... Underneath it all, would it even be possible to know what you are if that drive is all that defines you? Could you even call that living? We're talking about a guy who unironically wears heart boxers and almost exclusively eats cup noodle, people. This symbolism's very disturbing...

That's A Wrap You can always argue other sins for each of the cast members, of course. Lust for Lupin, Wrath for Jigen, Envy for Zenigata-- whatever. At the end of the day, they're all objectively terrible people. It's semi-safe to say that outside of religious contexts, the seven deadly sins have grown subjective in common culture/media. So why not take liberties? I sure as hell did. It's a goddamn miracle these managed to turn out so succinct.

[alice-after-dark]

StaticMoth Thoughts

So disclaimer that I am a "ship what you want to ship as long as you don't force it on others" kind of person. If you really like StaticMoth and think they are genuinely in love, you do you boo. You'll get no hate from me. However this is not that kind of post, so if that's not your cup of tea, I do suggest skipping. You have been warned.

TW for abusive relationships, sexual abuse, and other canon-typical triggers. Discussion of homophobia (Vox is from the 1950s after all)

So I'm going to get right to the point. I see a lot of people pointing to that one split second clip of them making out and saying they're in love...and I wholly disagree. I see their relationship as a purely sexual one, with some potential romantic manipulation from Valentino's side of things (because we all know Vox is insecure as fuck).

Vox grew up during a time period where liking both women and men and being openly sexual was not accepted and his demon life is his first real chance at exploring that side of himself. So he is very vulnerable to someone like Valentino who is the complete opposite and solidly comfortable with his sexuality and desires. Valentino is everything that Vox couldn't even fathom being. Fuck, even in Hell, Vox still strives to maintain a spotless image. The idea of not only being in a relationship with a man, but being able to actively pursue his desires is absolutely foreign to him and Valentino knows this. Which is exactly why he loves playing with Vox.

I do also want to make it clear that I think they are mutually abusive to each other. Vox is a control freak and tries to force Valentino into the box he needs him to fit in for the V's image. He refuses to engage in PDA and frankly doesn't even like to touch Valentino in public view if he doesn't have to. However, we also see that Vox can't just tell Valentino "no" and expect him to listen. He needs to placate him, satisfy him in some capacity, or Valentino will go off and do something stupid that will wreck their image. He is always placating the other demon. Valentino needs to be kept happy and sated, in whatever way necessary. And sometimes that means Vox getting...personally involved when he may not want to.

Now, telling Valentino "no" for most things can be pretty easily placated, but telling Valentino "no" when sex is involved? That can get downright dangerous. A horny Valentino is not so easily swayed in another direction. One thing about Valentino is that he's picky. Once he has his dirty mind set on someone, convincing him to redirect to someone else is nigh impossible. The who matters just as much as the what to him. So if Valentino comes to Vox with sex on the brain, "no" isn't really an option. Vox might be able to swing a "later," but even that is tricky and delicate and usually requires some kind of...compensation for the wait. And for Vox, who is used to the scummy darker side of the TV industry, well, this is just what you do to get ahead in the world.

(This is not to say that they don't ever have consensual sex, they absolutely do...that's just not always the case)

Do I think Valentino is the worst offender out of the two? Yes. Do I think Vox is a completely innocent victim who did nothing wrong? No. I think they are in a mutually toxic, abusive, and fascinating relationship.

[adrian-sheppy]

Sorry if this is completely wrong igore if it is LMAO but I noticed you seem to have different hcs for how mind lost his eye!!! Like in Seattles Going Under it was lost in a vague fight or something, but in art w/ the resonance cascade he lost it prolly during the ambush? I was wondering if you had info to share on it/infodump abt or if its just whatever makes the art more fun!

hehe youre observant and actually right on the money. yup!  so essentially i just have different eye trauma head canons for whichever version of freemind im drawing; since he doesnt actually lose his eye in canon, its up to everyone to fil in the blanks if they wanna use the popular headcanon. i wrote .  a good chunk of stuff .  so i put it under the cut . but heres a picture to be like a . tldr

I sorta like his eye already being gone before the resonance cascade (in a non-freemanverse scenario). he does verbally say something like "my eyes" in the series, indicating he has two, BUT . well.  its a headcanon. so we can have fun with it . my eye loss pre-rescas freemind stems from my original freemind design (before i ever started posting half-life on the internet) where he had short hair, but i needed a way to distinguish him from og gordon, so I used thr popular one eye headcanon. then I realized him losing his eye bc of the military goes perfectly with martini losing an arm. that bothered me for a while until i realized i could just have multiple freemind designs + headcanons. if theres different variations of Gordon  and martini, why can't there be some of Freemind as well? grins grins

i left it open ended in my SGU because people have their own headcanons and I thought anyone could just fill in their own. if I did every make a canon eyeloss event prequel thing, he would've lost his eye during college in some sort of either freak accident (like tripping on something and injuring himself bad; I like this one because he'll lie and say he was in a fight) or, like u said, a fight . for SGU, college was a low point in his life of him struggling with freedom from his parents for the firsr time, but them and their ideals still holding him hostage. he is simultaneously more repressed and more emotionally volatile than present!gordon. then, when his parents die, hes just given a clusterfuck of emotions. so why dont we add physical trauma? whatever the sgu canon event eye loss was, it was definitely related to substance abuse issues. whether that be he was high/drunk and got into an accident, or fought someone... not sure! yet. the only thing that i can say was that no fire or chemicals were involved, since his tearduct is (unfortunately for him) wholly in tact!

but for freemanverse!freemind, he should lose his eye during the rescas since its like thematic and stuff if (almost) every Gordon Loses Something. also, angst. whenever I draw freemanverse (even in a domestic setting) in my head, i always think of them surviving the rescas together! i have. convoluted freemanverse headcanons. the eye loss is an important freemanverae event because, like martini, it gives him a valid reason to REALLY dislike benrey (but in my au, benrey isnt the big bad, so he "redeems" himself kinda sorta) . and then it ALSO opens up freemind to be upset and vulnerable, which allows him to bond with his fellow freemen.

...

also I want barmey to tend to his wounds and call his scar(s) badass. im not immune to buttermind and i never was.

honorable mention: sims freemind, who has both eyes physically but only can see from one. this is due to me unable to properly texture a glasses + eyepatch combo, that and i have no experience with 3d modelling (I did try!).

i hope this is a satisfying enough infodump!! I'm sorry if it's a bit vague; a lot of my ideas tend to be fluid. i also like taking inspiration from what other people think! some of you guys are way super smart and have awesome ideas. i am not immune to well articulated essays and thought out headcanons

[deathisararemercy]

Sacrifice

Death x Reader

The center of town was where the real party was at. A small scaffold was set up in the plaza. White lilies were set in baskets around it in dazzling grandeur. On the scaffold was a grand table, set with a brilliant spread. Only one person was seated at it. Out of all the people in the town, they were the only person dressed head-to-toe in black. Muerte couldn’t see their face as a veil covered it, but he could tell their head was bent as they picked at their final meal. This year’s sacrifice.

A/N: I always write these when I'm sleepy, y'know? Not just the fics but also the author's notes in general. I think writing the notes are my favorite part. Do people even read these? Tweedledee-tweedledum- alright. Let's get into it, shall we? This is actually a lot cuter than what the title would suggest, but it also has such an ending with some different interpretations. This is a tiny tiny bit Halloween-y and out of season, but I swear I'll try to write something for Valentine's Day. That fic will definitely be cute and fluffy, I promise.

The fire was dying out.

Not that it mattered much anyway. He was Death; things like the cold, rain, or snow didn’t affect him. Building this campfire at the edge of the dark wood was wholly unnecessary. It was probably going to attract unwanted attention to himself. But watching the dancing sparks from the campfire was a nice distraction from seeing whatever it was that was going on in the town just down the hill. He could feel it in the air and the way the stars glared down at him. Muerte wrinkled his nose. The air smelled sour like rotten onions and inevitable death. But also lamb. He liked lamb.

He stomped out the dying embers of the fire and checked that the area was all nice and clean. The wind hummed a bit. He whistled in response. Satisfied, the wolf drew his hood and began the walk into town.

For what must have been a century now, the villagers of this village held a festival to “keep Death at bay” every year due to a horrible plague that once passed through the town. It had been an awful year with a poor harvest and horrible disease. Muerte could still remember the exhilarating smell of their constant fear. He never experienced anything like it; it was like walking through an electrifying haze for days that left him in a constant state of adrenaline. Despite that, he felt guilty each time he had to take a life during his stay. And there were many.

He was silent and solemn each time he arrived at someone’s deathbed, trying to be gentle. But the way the families screamed and begged, their wails and sobs as he grimly cut the cord tethering their loved ones’ spirits to the mortal realm, haunted him long after he left the town. The spirits had hated him too, pleading for him to send them back, just so they could live a little longer, just so they could say goodbye, and cursing him when he said he could not.

But Death is a promise, not a bargain to be made.

And the villagers had been terrified of El Lobo Muerte ever since.

Since then, each year, they’d put up torches that would burn all through the night and offer one person as a sacrifice, leaving them in the center of the largest field. One hundred years later, the festival was more of a celebration to keep away illness for the coming year and dress up in costume. Little decorations would be pasted up like wolves and skulls. Sickles would be painted red and hung up next to the fields of crops.

In reality, Muerte couldn't control when people died. He was just there to release the dead from the mortal realm and send them on their way to the spirit world. But it was cute, seeing the little paper skulls they pasted up, the decorated gourds, and- oh that smelled good. They were selling chopped pieces of lamb on skewers this year. His red eyes darted to the stall where they were selling them. A small crowd had gathered there. He’d come back and buy two later.

The center of town was where the real party was at. A small scaffold was set up in the plaza. White lilies were set in baskets around it in dazzling grandeur. On the scaffold was a grand table, set with a brilliant spread. Only one person was seated at it. Out of all the people in the town, they were the only person dressed head-to-toe in black. Muerte couldn’t see their face as a veil covered it, but he could tell their head was bent as they picked at their final meal.

This year’s sacrifice.

Muerte leaned against a stall, watching them try to take another bite of food before pushing away their plate. They grabbed a golden chalice and took a long drink.

“Steeling your nerves. Interesting.’’

“What?”

The wolf looked around. He was leaning right against another lamb stall. This one was selling mini-pies. The cook looked up at him in confusion, not fear. Well, it looked like even after just a century, no one bothered to tell anyone what Death looked like.

The wolf grinned, baring his teeth. “Oh, it’s nothing. Say,’’ he leaned down to take a peek at the wares. “Could I have two of those please?”

==x==x==

The procession began at eleven bells. The town suddenly fell silent and solemn as a committee of hooded figures approached the scaffold. The sacrifice trembled as they rose, whether it be from fear, fatigue, or drink Muerte didn’t know. When they reached the bottom of the scaffold, a bouquet of lilies was procured for them by one of the hooded figures. The figures then surrounded the sacrifice until Death could barely see the top of their head. And then, they began to walk.

The crowd parted silently as the hooded figures led the sacrifice out of the village, closing the gap as the procession left. Their pace was horribly slow, but they did need to fill up an hour of time. Muerte followed the procession from a distance.

When they reached the edge of town, where the crowds were thin, the light grew dim, and the stars seemed a bit brighter, one of the hooded figures spoke. “This is the final time you will step foot in this village. Once you leave the light, you are to be led into the dark. With your back to the light, you walk into the cold embrace of death in order for the light to continue to burn bright for all those you leave behind.”

With that, the sacrifice was blindfolded, their veil covered their face again, and their hands were bound. They linked arms with one of the hooded figures and the small procession continued to the village’s largest field. The moon was full and beautiful, and the winds hummed a little tune. The wolf whistled quietly in response.

Muerte walked softly and silently, undetected by the mortals. His eyes glowed red as he tried to see further in the dark. The figures were just leaving the sacrifice there. No final words, no last requests. The figures led them to the center of the field, cleared away except for a cut tree stump, on which they seated the sacrifice. Then they just…left.

Something in Muerte’s chest twisted, his lip curling in disgust as he watched them leave the poor sacrifice alone. In the distance, the village bell tower rang twelve bells. He could faintly hear the person hold their breath expectantly. That was his cue.

“Well, well,” the wolf smirked as he pushed away the crops and stood in the clearing. “If it isn’t this year’s little lamb.” The person stood up suddenly, hopelessly trying to see the wolf in the dark. “Relax,” he chuckled, “I’m not going to eat you.”

“But-”

“Here.” He swiftly removed their veil and blindfold. The wolf suddenly hesitated. Those terrified eyes were…prettier than he expected. If he looked at them any longer, he just might-

Muerte spun them around, grabbing their shoulder so that they wouldn’t trip and fall. Their body was small and warm beneath his cold paws and firm grip. Could he just think clearly for one-

He drew one of his sickles and slashed the rope binding their wrists together. The villager yelped at the sudden release before righting themself. They turned around, and Death focused on staring at the point just between their eyebrows. Their eyebrows knit together as they examined him in the moonlight. Adorable.

“Are you…Death?”

“Yes. Yes, I am. And you are?”

They hesitated before giving their name. “My, my, my. What a beautiful name.”

“It’s the same as any other name,” they scoffed. He could see the faintest flicker of a smile flash across their face.

“Well, it’s the name of the person this town foolishly gave up this year. So I think it’s fairly important. Lamb?”

“Yes?”

The wolf howled in laughter, echoing through the silent night. If there was another villager out there, they’d surely be terrified. Muerte reached under his poncho and pulled out the pies, wrapped up in cloth. “I was asking if you wanted a lamb pie, cordero.”

Their face reddened. They snatched one of the pies away and turned their back towards him. “I- I knew that! I was just saying ‘yes’ as in ‘yes! I’d like a pie!’ you stupid lobo.”

Muerte placed a hand on his chest, gasping. “You dare call Death a stupid wolf! You better watch what you say. You never know what will be your final words.” The villager cast a glance back over their shoulder, gaze meeting Death’s. The two of them laughed.

Muerte sat down on the ground next to the stump. The villager stared at the stump before deciding to sit on the ground next to the wolf. They each ate their pies in silence, chewing thoughtfully. The wolf finished first, licking his lips. “You all outdo yourselves every year. That was delicious.”

The villager smiled, wiping their mouth with the back of their hand. “Thanks. We try to make it nice for you.”

Leaning his head on his hand, the wolf shrugged. “At this point, it’s less about me and just having a nice new year. But you know, I enjoy seeing all the cute costumes. A little kid dressed up like that Puss in Boots, running up to me with a stick sword.” His eyes narrowed suddenly, looking at the villager’s face. “Hang on.” They stiffened. He leaned in closer, close enough to smell them and feel them breathe. “You have something…right…there.” He gently wiped away a stray crumb of pie from their face.

“O-oh. Thank you!”

Was that pushing it? He narrowed his eyes again as he looked between that beautiful face and the crumb stuck to his fur. He licked his paw clean, eyes trained on the villager. Their face reddened again. He could feel them trembling a bit, though Muerte was fairly certain it wasn’t from fear.

“Say,” he began slowly, testing the words out, “Do you think I really eat people?”

They were startled and hurriedly responded, “No, of course not! At least…I hope not.”

“Well your prayers have been answered,” Muerte said, rising to his feet. The villager quickly followed. “I don’t really eat people. Neither does that Big Bad Wolf people tend to confuse me with.”

“But the others,” they said slowly, “the others from the previous years. What happened to them?”

The wolf shrugged. “I always bring food because I know they’ll barely be able to eat anything from the nerves. Then, I take them wherever they want to go, that isn’t this village.”

Their eyes widened. “You can do that?”

“Mm, yes. Granted, not everyone likes the way I travel. And the universe isn’t particularly keen on me doing this. But I don’t kill anyone. And they usually survive the trip.”

“‘Usually’?”

“I’m joking, cordero pequeño.” Muerte grinned. “So what will it be? Where would you like to go?”

The little lamb paused. “I…I don’t know.”

“Come on. You can go anywhere in the world. Just say the word.”

“I think I just want to be able to see you again.”

That took Death aback. He blinked rapidly. “What?”

“Was it weird? Sorry, I just- Listen. I want to see you again.” The mortal gestured around the field, ethereal under the moonlight. “I know I said I don’t think you eat people, but I also didn’t really expect to be alive past midnight. I don’t know where I want to go or what I want to do. But,” they added, stepping slowly towards the wolf, “now I think I want to get to know you more. You’re a pretty funny guy, Lobo Muerte.”

His heart fluttered in his chest. Well, mierda. The moonlight was caught in their hair, and they smelled sweet and full of life. Muerte bent down, reaching behind the stump to pick up the discarded bouquet of lilies. Quickly before it could wilt under his touch, he pressed one flower to the mortal’s chest. He smiled softly, tapping the tip of their nose. “We’ll find a place for you. And I'll be sure to visit before your time comes for real. I’d like to see you again too. Is that alright?”

They grinned. “Yes, of course.”

“Alright then.” The wolf unsheathed his scythes and thrust them upwards, cutting through the air. A shimmering door of light opened in front of the two. He smiled seeing the wonder on their face. “Let’s go.” And he whistled as they went.

[jerryterry]

Hi Jerrod! I'm a college student taking a music appreciation class, and I have to use the musician I talked about on Day 1 for a project, and that so happened to be you, haha. Is there anyone who has inspired you musically for some of your horror work like Kiss Me/Kill me (which happens to be the song I chose cause honestly? A bop). Thank you so much in advance!

Hmm. Honestly, in cases like that one, I don't really have any conscious inspirations aside from the obvious song itself (as I've mentioned in the past, Kiss Me was mainly inspired by hearing the song on the radio and really listening to the lyrics for the first time and thinking "woah what if she keeps asking to be kissed next to increasingly-creepy things" lol). Started with the lyrics, then once I got the vocals back from Juliëtte I just started with "basic cover of the original song, then just see where I can take it".

The previous work "The Boys are Back (to kill you)" was a much more subdued 'remix', in that many elements were a 1:1 recreation (the backing guitar and bass are remade but mostly adhere to the original) or direct sample (that lead guitar riff) that I built up on in a more subtle way - different drums, lil blips and bloops here and there, but more of a cover than a remix in vibes. Kiss Me starts in a similar way, there's some added synths but it's mostly a close following of the original track with minor embellishments. But as part of the bait-and-switch (in that the listener was intended to assume it's the same situation as the previous one, both in terms of the remix style and the vocals being a sentence-mix), the plan was to just keep winging it in a new direction and see what happens.

Like most of my stuff, the rest kinda formed in this real hazy-to-remember bout of extreme productivity and luck. It's kinda like one of those cartoon fights where you just see a dustcloud and the occasional fist - like I'll zone out (or I guess in) into this very intensely-focused session for hours, and emerge having made a ton of progress thinking "I honestly don't remember how I got here". Sadly can't do it on command (hence my usual low output), but in this case I left everything so last-minute that the stress of the Halloween deadline was really propelling me forward, haha.

Come to think of it, is any of this useful at all? Was the project specifically just about inspirations? If so, kinda sucks that I guess I just went "huh, not really", sorry about that. Obvs not trying to claim my work is immaculate and wholly original and incomparable or whatever (it sure ain't), just that any inspirations for this one were more just my own ingrained inspirations and less conscious ones that I could pinpoint and list, yknow?

A lot of people think Boys are Back was inspired by Neil Cicierega. Which I totally get (on multiple levels, both the sentence-mixed mashup PLUS the "creepy old 90's-style computer UI" stuff are SO his bag), but tbh his work wasn't a direct inspiration in this case, it was mostly another accident. Maybe kind of a "man invents Frankenstein 200 years after Mary Shelley" vibe for sure. Though funnily enough it does take a lil conscious inspiration from one of Neil's works in a less-expected way, in that a distant memory of his track "Super Hey Ya" popped into mind while I was partway through the remix and inspired the lil bouncy chip-arps you hear from 0:50 onward. SHY came to mind on account of being what I guess I'd call an "additive remix", in which he took the whole song and put his own additions on top of it, which was only partially the case for TBaB but it was a bit of a similar process (I specifically remember thinking like "ok so I've got this pretty direct cover of the backing track, I don't want to go full capital-R Remix here but let's add some lil embellishments... oh hey, remember Super Hey Ya?").

Is any of this helpful? Sorry I couldn't really answer the question in a very satisfying way.

[hms-no-fun]

do you have any advice for getting better at writing? More specifically, any books, lectures, or talks about writing that you would recommend?

i know i'm not gonna be able to give a super satisfying answer here because i don't really read/watch much on the topic of getting better at writing. the most important book in my early development as a writer was Stephen King's On Writing, which does a very good job distilling the essence of the job to certain tools in a toolkit and helped me come to terms with how disposable a lot of my writing is. i recently picked up Steering the Craft by Ursula K Leguin, because i read Left Hand of Darkness for the first time and it rewired my brain. i haven't spent much time with it because it's meant to be an exercise book that you write along with, but i feel it will be useful.

otherwise, i know from experience and from the mouths of many other writers that the only way to get better at writing is to write more. a big part of my early development came from a desire to always push myself with each project. if i detected a weakness in one story, i wanted my next thing to be about that weakness in some way. i pushed myself to write more dialect, to switch tenses and persons, to go out of my comfort zone and write from the perspective of (GASP) a woman. things of this nature. much of what resulted from those exercises was not particularly good, but that's not really the point. you do the best you can in the moment, but never let yourself feel wholly satisfied. there are always improvements to be made, new ideas to explore, more diverse modes of expression to play with.

i'd say the best thing you can do when looking for writing advice is to look to the writers whose stuff you like. i guarantee anyone who's been published will have a talk available on youtube somewhere. in the past i've gone ga-ga for the lectures of Neil Gaiman and China Mieville, because i like their books and wanted to know how that sausage got made. understanding other people's process is a good way to understand your own. pay attention to things you identify with, but pay especial attention to the things you feel a natural disagreement with. a procedural thing, say, that just doesn't make sense to you. a BIG part of becoming a better writer, in the "maintaining a self-confidence equilibrium" sense, is recognizing what parts of the process are yours. whatever it is the comes naturally to you, that draws you in, you'll invariably have strong opinions about that someone in some writing institution or other would tut-tut at. i find it's very difficult to really take something worthwhile from criticism unless you know what you're about on some level. i have a pretty good sense at this point of my strengths and weaknesses as a writer; i know the difference between a qualitative misstep and a choice that won't resonate with every reader.

it helps if you can find some like-minded people to write with in a low-stakes environment. or maybe not low-stakes! the only read i ever finished my first novel was because i was writing towards a contest deadline. deadlines can be good! but sharing stories around with some friends and giving each other feedback is a great way to build up some confidence. collaborating on a shared world or story can be immensely rewarding, as long as you don't go into it expecting to make money or get famous. don't put pressure on yourself to Make A Real Thing On A Schedule unless you really trust the people you're working with and have had a lot of conversations about professional conduct.

but otherwise, it all comes back to write more. don't be afraid to leave a graveyard behind you of countless unfinished works. the vast majority of things i started writing from when i was 14 to like 25 i never finished, then i finished a book and almost never wrote again. it's all part of the process, and it's not linear or obvious in any meaningful way. the trickiest part, for me, is learning how to write for your current project even when you don't feel the ~passion~ and ~inspiration~. and that's just a matter of time and honesty and elbow grease.

all any writer can ever tell you is how *they* write. they can give you signposts and guides and best practices, but ultimately no one will ever be able to teach *you* how to write for *yourself*. that only comes with practice. but it's doable and very worth the doing, in my opinion

[tmae3114]

im no thoughts head empty so 9 and 13 for whatever fic gives the best vibes

Ask Game

I am finally able to sit down and do this! I have had A Long Day. Not bad, just Long, dashing from one task to the other, and it's nice to have a Talk About Hobby thing to sit down and do while I wait for dinner to finish in the oven. Thank you, Syntax!

(Note: dinner actually beeped while I was typing, so I went and ate, and then came back and finished this, but I'm not rewriting the first paragraph :p)

I went scrolling through my ao3 account to determine which fic Vibed best with both these questions and by 'vibed best' I mean 'had an Actual Answer'

Also I felt like talking about one of my older fics today!

So, you get (More Powerful Than) Butterfly Wings!

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Oh, absolutely. The basic premise always stayed the same but that premise was literally just "the first trailer for the Justice League movie just dropped and their characterisation of Barry Allen YET AGAIN feels more like another speedster than it does Barry, as adaptations often do, ugh. ....what if I wrote a fic where it was actually said other speedster?" so it was always very flexible XD I mostly played around with different variations of getting Bart to the DCEU and then why he stayed. I'm pretty satisfied with the version I settled on! Especially because I got to bring Iris in and I had a lot of fun writing her

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

I HAD A PLAYLIST FOR THIS ONE. Not a thing I do very often! I won't share it because it's very 2016!me music taste and, having checked it, I highly question some of my song associations decisions at the time - plus, I made it as a youtube playlist and some of the videos have since been deleted, so it's not wholly accurate to how it was anyways.

There are, however, two songs remaining on it which I will happily share because I agree with seventeen year old me on the matter and I think they still reflect the fic well.

One is Born To Run which is, tbh, my go-to speedster song in general. It's just! It's vibes! It's speedster vibes!

And the other, which is very fic specific, is The Sound of Settling, because the fic is, in a sense, about settling down, and the various bits about hunger and aging fast gave me Bart Vibes and also I could not resist a song containing the line "If you've got an impulse, let it out" when writing about Impulse

[cattaliatayuun]

Tried to do yesterdays, but I got too busy to finish my idea :( BUT I'm back! Just in time to do a prompt I've had my eye on ;D

FFXIV Write Day 15- Make Up Day!

I'll be snagging Day 3- Halcyon

Literally no connection to MSQ or real mention of it spoiler wise, but I imagine this being somewhere in early or late Stormblood probably. All that matters is that the WoL has known Alphinaud for A While.

Halcyon: Characterized by happiness, great success, and prosperity; often used to describe an idyllic time in the past that is remembered as better than today

---

The stage lights were bright, but not as bright as the smiles she saw in the audience.

Cattalia held her lute like she'd been born with it, playing the strings with ease as her gaze flitted between the half visible faces beyond the glare of the lights. Her voice floated above it all, the crowning jewel in her soft, but impactful performance.

As muscle memory took over, her mind was free to focus on the finer details of her playing, adding flares to her strumming or extra notes to her vocal runs, and the experience was just as satisfying to execute as she imagined it was to watch. She was warm under the lights, but hardly ever uncomfortable with the attention; she knew her skill spoke for itself. She put her heart and soul into the climax of the music, and-

Knock knock.

Cattalia's eyes snapped open, mouth squeezing shut as she spun around to face her door.

Right. That wasn't who she was anymore.

With a quiet sigh, she set her lute on her bed, and prayed that whoever was at the door hadn't heard her. It'd been ages since she'd actually had time to practice. Stepping to her free company room door, she tugged it open and braced for the worst.

"Cattalia- err- my apologies, I can come back later if now isn't a good time." Alphinaud stood in the hallway, arms already crossed with a guilty crease in his brow. "I would've sworn that was from the orchestrion..." He muttered to himself, though it was perfectly audible from right infront of him. So he had heard. Cattalia's chest tightened as she felt a soft blush crawl onto her face; her confidence of years past had long since faded with disuse. She put on a small smile and shook her head.

"Now is a fine time, what do you need me for?" She assured with a question of her own, keeping things light and trying to refocus him back on whatever task he was here for. Now, however, he seemed wholly distracted.

"Right! The- hmm- well, if you would indulge me a moment..." He trailed off for a moment, gancing down the hall and shifting his weight as if he had some reason to be nervous over the question. "...the music just a moment ago, was that you?" There it was. Of course it was him who had to ask, and when he knew perfectly well what the answer was, too. Alphinaud was her best friend, she couldn't just...

It was Cattalia's turn to break eye contact, instinctively glancing in the direction of her lute (thankfully out of eyeshot from the door) resting on her bedspread. She'd never mentioned this peice of her past to the Scions, in hopes of putting off the inevitable performance request until she could relearn her muscle memory... and hopefully forget what happened the last time she had an audience. Still, Alphinaud was awaiting a response. She looked back to him, smile faltering.

"Sure was." She answered with a tense nod. "I'm still remembering how to play, so it's not much to listen to right now. Hope it didn't bother you." Her explanation was brief, and her flat out apology only seemed to baffle Alphinaud more.

"Bother me? The only thing that might bother me is that you've hidden this talent of yours for so long- that sounded incredible!" His brows raised in insistence as he assured her of his thoughts, but it only flustered Cattalia further- especially when it felt undeserved. However, Alphinaud wasn't finished, looking once again deep in thought.

"I came with an errand from Tataru, but she said it could be done anytime in the next week, so it's not a rush... I just can't believe..." He trails off again, hand resting on his chin in thought before he starts thinking out loud again.

"We've traveled hundreds- likely thousands of malms together, and yet you've not once mentioned an interest in music. An appreciation for it, sure, but you sound like a practiced musician." His curious musings shot through her mind like an accusation, and she couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. It was a major part of her life, and it made sense that it showed, even when she was out of practice.

Her expression fell, and the guilt must have been plain enough on her face to make Alphinaud speak again before she could, a nervous smile suddenly on his face.

"Not that I'm upset-! Please, don't mistake my questioning as any kind of annoyance. I'm simply surprised that you- that I never-" He paused, letting out an amused sigh. "Just, count me impressed. You have quite the voice, 'Talia." She could feel the blush on her ears now, but she'd let Alphinaud speak for plenty long enough, and crossed her arms with a light huff.

"If you insist... you have my thanks, Alphi. Don't expect hearing it to become a habit though." She added quickly, still hoping she might keep her practices somewhat secret for the time being. Alphinaud seemed startled for a moment, before he realized what she meant, his previous energy quickly dropping from his voice with a small nod.

"I... understand. If you're not ready to share, then I won't pry." It was almost painful how disappointed his quiet words sounded, even if he was trying not to make it obvious. "Apologies again for the intrusion- I'll leave these here and let you return to your-" He held out a small pack of notes, but froze when Cattalia turned and walked to the other side of her room, ignoring his offering entirely. In her few steps to get there, she took a deep breath, trying to settle her very loud mind. Thankfully, all her thoughts at least agreed on one thing.

She grabbed her lute and walked back into view of the door, gesturing for Alphinaud to come in with a shift of her head. "Since when have you not enjoyed prying into other people's secrets? You may as well stay, if you're already here." She offered, attempting to ease her stress with a playful jab.

He seemed to take a second to register everything-- the sudden change of mind, her teasing remark, the lute she now held in her arms-- but his mind eventually caught up with her, chuckling as a soft smile returned to his face. He stepped inside, setting the notes on a table just inside the door.

"A personal invitation? How could I refuse."

---

FINALLY a chance to write my boy. Haven't had a good chance to work him into a prompt yet, but now we get some lore a n d some Alphi! Can't have people thinking I'm normal about the video game characters I like. Thanks for reading! 💙

[nyoomfruits]

Hi Ellie!! Good day to you. I just want to pop in to say I love what you have done with Lando and Oscar dynamic in What you do to me. The way Oscar was so nonchalant about giving a "friendly teammate brojob" at first and Lando was totally freaking out inside cuz til then his impression of Oscar had been so cool and collected?? like, thats them!! what Lando has learned from his former older teammates may not apply wholly this time!! and in the end Lando looked back!! hope is there!!

also irl Oscar describes himself as this chillaxing dude allll the time which has me thinking what about the time he is not >:) don't you just wnat to lose your shit sometimes babygirl >:)

Also Oscar is an Aries so as a quasi-interested astrology girl (when it fits my agenda) may I present this article which imo has an interesting description of Aries in bed https://www.sosyncd.com/zodiac-signs-ranked-by-best-in-bed/

My apology in advance for being horny in your ib </3 but I just you know your story was the serotonin I needed today <3

OH MY GOD HI THANK YOU <3

''don't you just wnat to lose your shit sometimes babygirl >:)" anon the numbers you would do in the ggb group chat you have no idea.

but YES oscar being this chill calm go with the flow dude actually being really vocal and intense in the bedroom has me <3

dl;akjsdflk i'm not much of a zodiac girly but the line 'They will do whatever it takes to make sure their partner is fully satisfied.' makes me so !!!! oh my god

DONT WORRY THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR BEING HORNY IN MY IB actually you know what as an extra big thank you have a snippet of the norstri smut i'm currently writing in which oscar is a vampire for no other reason than. fun.

(tw for mentions of blood)

There’s a slight metallic taste to Oscar’s kiss, and Lando can’t help but think ‘that’s me, that’s my blood’, and it should be weird, all of this should be so weird, but all it does is make Lando want more.

“Off,” he mutters, pulling away from the kiss tugging at the bottom of Oscar’s t-shirt. “Off.”

“God, so demanding,” Oscar says, but complies anyway, taking off his shirt in one swift motion. “If I’d known you’d be like this I would have picked a different midnight snack.”

“Midnight snack,” Lando squawks, indignant, as his eyes roam over the expanse of Oscar’s chest. He’s seen him shirtless before, sure, but not like this. Not in the context of what is about to happen. It makes him feel kind of insane. He shakes it off, focuses back on Oscar’s face. “Why are you talking about me like I’m a can of Pringles.” Oscar pulls a face. Lando groans. “Do not tell me I taste like a can of Pringles.”

Oscar laughs. “Don’t worry. You don’t taste like a can of Pringles.” He tugs at Lando’s hoodie as he says it, and Lando guesses it’s only fair. He struggles a bit taking it off, but Oscar helps him, and when he’s free Oscar’s face is suddenly right there.

Never one to waste an opportunity, Lando leans in for another kiss. “Wait,” he suddenly says, pulling away so fast it nearly sends Oscar crashing on top of him. “What do I taste like?”

Oscar’s face is carefully blank as he says, “Nothing important.”

Lando frowns. “What does that mean?”

“Just. That you taste like nothing important.” His nose scrunches up as he says it. It’s endearingly cute.

“Oh my god,” Lando says, as it hits him all of a sudden. “Am I gross?”

Oscar laughs, but when he sees the panicked look on Lando’s face he stops, taking his face in his hands, rubbing his thumb over Lando’s cheek. “Hey, no, don’t worry. You’re not gross. Far from it. Trust me. You taste uh. Really nice.”

[crystalflygeo]

Incubus Zhongli

INCUBUS ZHONGLI who's lacking energy and needed to feed caught your sweet scent when passing your apartment window which was open and sleeping peacefully was you. You were so helpless so easy to take advantage of so deliciously innocent to corrupt it's making him drool but he wants to take his time with you slowly make you fall for him and him alone. Over the course of 4 months he's been in your dreams giving you sensations you never felt before the overwhelming pleasure he gives you.

Dream after dream you always see him this mysterious man with brown hair golden eyes it was like he was sculpted by the gods like they were telling you he was your soulmate but you were so so wrong about him entirely, he is nothing but a demon a sex demon who will TAKE whatever he wants weither they come willing or by force.

It has been a year now that Zhongli has entangle you in his web and just like he wanted you know nothing but him only him and it was about time he showed you what he truly is and claim you as his mate where you can never think of escaping him.

~~Later that night~~

You were fast asleep naked in your bed (the day was hot and so was the night) when Zhongli entered your room in his true form golden horns that curve along his head, arms black with veins of gold running up along them, a long serpentine tail with ridges lining all the way to the tip with tuffs of fur and eyes that's like molten gold glowing ever so brightly in the dark room

"Ah my dear jewel the time to claim you is now, you will be mine wholly for all eternity"

"Now then let's give you a little dream to loosen and wake you while I devour you"

~~In your dream~~

The sounds of high pitched moans and whines spill from your lips breathlessly begging the man between your thighs for more or to stop probably the former, he was devouring you like it was his last meal he'll ever get after cumming for the nth time face and chest covered in your slick, his tongue long and forked reached place you never knew that made you feel this good

"My dear don't tell me you're tired already and we haven't even begun this is just me preparing you for what's about to come"

After finishing his sentence his form started to change into that of a beast (a sexy beast at that🤤) that towers over you like a predator would to a prey with nowhere to escape

"It's time for you to wake up my darling"

~~End of dream~~

And when you come too the sight that greeted you was the man who you called Zhongli is eating you out like it was his last meal in a long time (which was true) but he was different his appearance changed into the beast from your dreams, it until you felt him suck harsh against your clit did you snap out of it letting out a whorish moan chuckling against you he said

"Finally you're awake darling I've been enjoying my meal for the past 15 minutes now let's continue where we left off in that dream of yours"

Did I mentioned that he is fucking HUGE both in size and girth with ridges on the underside of his cock no well now you know so that strench is going to leave you gaping that's for sure.

"I'm going mark and breed you until you're nothing but my little personal cumdump that'll take all of my cum whenever I want"

And with that he slowly push his cock in making sure you feel the ridges of his cock inch by inch until he's balls deep, letting out a cry and a few tears at the burning sensation of his cock strenching your cunt

"I-It hurts please it hurts"

"Shush it's okay my darling the pain the pass soon shush I'm going to take good care of you"

Whispering sweet nothings to you in hopes of helping you relax and adjust to the strench of his cock in that tight cunt of yours after a minute or two you tell him it's ok to move

"A warning to you my dear once I start I won't stop until I'm satisfied that I've fuck you senseless even if you pass out I won't stop is that understood"

"Yes I understand"

"Good then I shall not hold back"

You had lost count of how many times you've cummed that night probably around your 10th orgasm and yet Zhongli has cummed a total of 3 and as pre his warning he did not stop even when you passed out from being overstimulated with orgasm after orgasm right after the other, Zhongli on the other hand had his fill of your energy but it wasn't enough he couldn't get enough of it he's addicted to it to you and he will never let you go after all he did claim you before you even knew of him by placing a special tattoo right on your womb after all you are his and his only😈

Oh one more thing incubus semen is more potent than human semen but let's keep this as a little secret 🤫

HI SIR PLEASE YES DO RUIN ME HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

[multifandommilfs]

That Luscious Blonde

Pairing: Sonya Paxton x reader

Wc: 1474

Summary: you defend Sonya after Stabler brings up her past. Your relationship furthers with each subsequent meeting

A/n:this is based on season 11 episode 9 "Gray"

masterlist

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You were new to the precinct. But that didn't hinder you from recognizing a hurt ego when you saw one. You couldn't really blame her when she was the only one making an attempt to get over her alcoholic past.

 

So the way Stabler treated her wasn't right when he was in the wrong for hiding how he got Chuck the rapist's disciplinary record from his daughter, which would botch the case. You push past him. "What's her name?" You whispered harshly, harboring some annoyance towards him and urgent to apologize to the woman on his behalf.

 

But she was already halfway across the bullpen, and in another few strides, would've made it out the door. You couldn't wait for his reply.

 

"Hey, you with the luscious blonde hair!" Tingles were jumping beneath your feet when the room quietened to the last staccato of her heel. You wondered if you had picked her last nerve and the thought had you holding back a cringe.

 

When she turned, it was slow and hesitating. Her heels were almost tripping over each other at the unaccustomed pace. Her reluctance was furthered with her back turned to you because luscious blonde hair? you must be hollering at someone else and not her, she has never been the target of flirtation like that.

 

She thought she had gotten herself embarrassed for the second time in those 10 minutes when she turned around fully until she caught your frame in the place where a pissed-off Stabler once stood. Instead, this time she was met with all teeth and stretched lips.

 

"Were you referring to me? Because if it's someone else I'll spare myself the embarrassment and take Stabler's advice." The words "go have a drink" were a fresh burn in her chest and mind. She saw how Stabler shifted in regret and was satisfied with spiting him back.

 

"No! Of course not, I was referring to you. I just didn't know your name- "You cursed yourself internally for revealing that impolite fact, rushing over to her with haste and ease provided by your on-field ground-level shoes. Yet when you lingered by her side, you were still her height despite the fact that her heels had altitude.

 

And missing her previous hesitance, you pushed a side of her hair back, the pads of your finger grazing the shell of her ear as you leant in. The natural warmth that wholly encompassed her in that instance almost made her stumble back. And once her senses had only accepted the change in temperature, you whispered. "I'm sorry about Stabler." The heat that ghosted her jaw cast a bearable shiver in her knees that surprised herself.

 

Then you pulled back with a smile that should've been enough to forgive if you hadn't just had an effect on her. Because now the air seemed to lose its warmth, leaving a tangible chill that ran down her spine.

 

You saw how her jaw clenched in the miniscule, the muscles in her neck flexing and relaxing like she was trying to restrain herself from putting up a fight but missed the way her knees tensed in order to regain her footing—how she was actually trying to suppress a shiver from that damned chill.

 

So it was polite to back away, your smile falling just by the corners of your lips when you fretted you'd gone a step too far. "See you in court."

 

"Thank you, and you will, Flatterer." She said it utmost casually, her eyes lingering on you before she whirled out the precinct.

 

A scoff came behind you. You turned just to see Stabler and Olivia giving you both of their respective incredulous expressions. "What was that little.." Stabler swung his forefinger around.

 

"Saving your ass?" You shrugged and went straight back to your desk, your heart a little giddy from the woman you couldn't even name.

________

Whatever you had said to her was the only reason that Sonya accepted his later apology. Stabler told you the next day.

 

Sure, you said, her name fluttering and causing delightful chaos in your mind as you checked your watch. We're late for your arraignment date.

 

It turns out you weren't exactly late for the arraignment because the judge is now being reassigned as a result of the possible prejudice accusation or some court drama you weren't quite sure of.

 

What you were sure of was the woman returning to her seat on the other side of the bar that separated the courtroom and the public gallery. "Sonya." Stabler greeted her beside you. She turned and there was that same glare yesterday before all hell broke loose.

 

"Didn't I tell you to make it to arraignment?" She snarked.

 

"Aren't we here?" His tone raised audibly and people were turning heads and it filled you with a maternal mortification like a mother watching her kids in a physical altercation.

 

"The whole arraignment Stabler, not just the second half of it!" Her voice toned down but carried the same sharpness.

 

"Stabler, um-" you put a hand on the crease of her arm to address her because her name was weak on your tongue. "It's just not the time." You cocked your head to the judge's bench and it was immediate and relieving how she understood you and retracted, her arm sliding off your grasp, so that you felt the length of soft skin from the underside of her elbow trailing all the way down to her wrist before she turned to face the stand, leaving you with red rushing up your face as you gripped the edge of the seats.

 

"All sit." The court ordered before Stabler elbowed you.

 

"Seriously, what is going on between you two? Why do I get the tiger side of her and you get this side of her. Not that I'd trade it, but share some of the kindness, geez." You widened your eyes at him. "You don't know what you're talking about."

 

He was about to say something else with that smug smirk on his face when the gavel slammed down. "Silence!"

__________

The new judge should be the one accused of prejudice, was your verdict. He had absolutely no right to bring up her personal matter in front of strangers and the defendant.

 

But what was pressing now was that no show witness which Stabler has 30 minutes to bring in. It wasn't enough time but with the judge's personal bias, you hoped it was enough. Stabler notified Olivia while you cajoled Sonya to stay behind, take a breather, work the case.

 

So now the both of you took a spot just outside the courtroom, files clipped shut in her lap. "Actually I think my case is already pretty solid." She smiled at you and you realized that it was the first time she did. The way your chest swelled at the simple lift of her lips was glorious and swayed your hold on being professional. You shifted, chuckling and running your hand through your hair to quell the race beneath your ribs.

 

"So why stay? You like your mysteries solved." You peeked a glance at her and saw that she was already looking at you. Through panic, you held her gaze, and a spark flared within her irises. She adored a challenge.

 

"Because you," she squinted her eyes lightly, daring you to avert your gaze. "Are a mystery to me." When you didn't, her fingertips that were priorly poised on her lap dropped onto yours, eliciting your blushed attention to it and breaking the daze, for the heat from her palm that seeped through the fabric made you perspire a slight.

 

The heightened temperature you felt didn't quite help your rationalizing when you slid your hand over hers. The back of her hand was soft yet firm, textured with the green veins that weaved under her skin.

 

Without a word between the both of you, she flipped her hand beneath yours so that it faced up, the heat on your thigh curling away. Your hand atop hers felt warmer than usual. It was a silent choice to accept or deny. Your lips parted in a grin as you glanced at her, seeing how hers held a smile.

 

You drew your fingers between hers, in turn accepting her unuttured question before your hands could start to get clammy.

 

"So I hope I'll get your name after we've nailed this case, Flatterer." She said, glancing up at the approaching Stabler and Benson.

 

"I'll take your word for it then." The two of you released your intertwined hands, standing up from the bench.

 

"What? No nickname this time?" Her laugh sent you grinning, heart thumping, but you held that little bit of your composure and gave her a faux eyeroll that did nothing but showcase your fondness for her.

 

"Just keep your promise, luscious blonde."

[prince-of-orchids]

As much as I'm sworn to my oath, i am still human. You've been teasing me all morning, my sweet prince. Bending over with more flair than usual, stretching in front of me, sitting with your legs spread just a little too intentionally towards me, whispering sweet nothings to me as we pass in the halls. I grow restless. You followed me to this secluded part of the castle and began trying to get a hand under my armor as well hear the guards rounding the corner. We dodge behind an old tapesty.I clasp my hand over your mouth and press you into an alcove in the wall with my body. After they pass, I notice you rubbing yourself against my thigh. Without removing my hand from your mouth, i start nuzzling your neck, taking little nibbles and licks. You start squirming and grabbing onto me as i use my other hand to wander across your chest and down to cup you between your legs and squeeze.

Ah well what's the point of having such a lovely devoted knight if I can't tease them a little. Truly it should be considered an honor to be the object of my attention! I am nothing if not a creature of indulgence, so when my little invitations are not acted upon I decide to take the initiative.

My familiarity with the castle and your patrol route make it easy to corner you somewhere more private. Doffing your armor is time consuming, and a half-naked knight is not exactly inconspicuous, so I settle for snaking a hand between the plates to reach whatever cloth and skin I can. In my haste I barely notice the approaching round of guards until there's a hand on my mouth and I'm pressed between the cobblestone walls and your metal frame. Vigilance and quick reflexes are attributes any competent knight should have after all.

The initial suprise, and then the humor surrounding our cliche position, quickly make way for a reinvigorated flare of desire. Even through the hard planes of your armor, how can one not appreciate your imposing physique? To have the length of your body wholly cover my own and to be protectively bracketed by your strong arms. I can barely wait for the footsteps to pass before I start to move against your thigh. Small shifts at first, but the friction feels too good not to move with more purpose.

When you first started to shift to the crook of my neck I felt a little indignation that you kept your hand in place. But with each nibble and lick I shudder, and the only thing keeping every pleased noise I make from echoing in the chamber is that damned hand. With words and lips no longer at my disposal I try to make my appreciation for your attention known in other ways. I shift my head to the side as much as possible to give you better access, while one of my own hands finds it's way up the nape of your neck and into your hair, alternating between pressing you closer and gently grasping at the strands in encouragement. I'm still unsure of just how much you're able to feel underneath the armor and the padding, but I still seek to caress the planes of your body, settling finally on your hip to give my grinding movements a little more leverage.

Your own hand wandered down my chest, rising and falling with each shuddering breath. Your other hand is not enough to muffle the gasping moan I let out in response to the warmth suddenly covering my cunt and the upward press of fingers. If your gauntlet was removed you'd be able to feel the wet spot that has managed to seep past my fine cloths. After that it takes little time for each thrust of my hips against you hand to become more and more frantic until I'm collapsed against you trembling.

It's takes a couple beats to recuperate, but I remove your hand from my mouth and take it gently in one of my own, delicately kissing your wrist in gratitude. Shifting then to cup your face, placing sporadic pecks before finally kissing your lips. While I am quite satisfied, there is something else I desire from you. Such an adoring knight should have their efforts rewarded, and I am generous when I wish to be. I shift a hand to settle to the straps securing your codpiece, looking for affirmation to continue.

[elis-corner]

So I tried binding with tape for the first time (unsafe situation edition).

If you want to hear about how I'm getting away with it and my experiences, look below the cut <3

Before I begin, if you're looking for advice, I live in Australia, have limited income, and am typically an AU B or C in terms of bra size and don't compress well. A lot of my advice will be specific to my environment and physicality, so keep that in mind.

I (transmasc) currently live in a context where I have to maintain a somewhat feminine appearance (for my interests, religion, education, etc.), and am financially dependant on people who are wholly against queerness.

SPORTS BRAS: Almost a year after I realised I wasn't cis, and that just dressing in masculine-ish women's clothes wasn't going to stop my dysphoria, I started getting sports bras, as I heard they could compress your chest. This is what they DIDN'T tell me:

remove. the. cups. They're just extra padding and will not help you look flat.

Not any sports bra will cut it. You don't want a low impact one; get a medium to high impact one. I currently use ones from Target/Kmart since I'm broke. I've found that, out of what I've tried, the "Active Everlast Womens Square Crop Top" from Kmart works best for me.

Either size down one, or double layer. Don't do both, you won't be able to breathe.

Try them on in store with a shirt over it and see how you look. Try double-layering them under the shirt, too. Don't forget to take the pads out when you try them.

Don't wear two if it's cold. You're gonna layer for the weather anyway so you'll already look smaller, plus you might struggle to breathe.

TAPING: I should probably preface with this: don't tape all the way around your body, don't tape with anything not meant for skin, and cover those nips if you don't want to feel the worst regret of your life (you can use covers, cotton, tissue, whatever).

TransTape is not an option, due to my living situation, so what I did was I got one of my friends (who does sport and therefore owns a ton of sports tape) to give me some rolls. This is a good and safe alternative, HOWEVER:

The strips are often thinner, so I recommend sticking them together into a thicker strip before putting it on yourself.

Remember to rub to activate adhesive.

Put test strips on your chest (underarms or sternum) for 12-24 hours to see if your chest will react negatively to the adhesive or materials.

With a larger chest, you might want to lie down and see what gravity does to you. If this doesn't work, do it the mirror, and look at how your body moves when you pull it BEFORE YOU PUT THE TAPE ON.

If you're cool with it, maybe get someone you trust to help you for the first time or two.

THERE ARE TUTORIALS. USE THEM.

WHERE TO BUY THINGS IN AUSTRALIA (if you can afford/are safe): In Sydney, there is a store called Sock Drawer Heroes (SDH) which ships around AU and NZ. They are a queer-owned business which sells gender-affirming products for people of all genders. Their shipping has discreet packaging, too.

I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE PRODUCTS, but I know people who do and are satisfied with their purchases.

In terms of transmasc stuff, they sell:

Binders of different colours and lengths (their own brand and Underworks)

Tape

Packers

"Adult" products

Their binders: - Range from AUD$64-92 (the full length ones are more costly, and the most expensive are the swimwear options) - Come in full and half lengths - Is a swimwear option - Different colours, however as a small business they only have a few shades (which are lighter skin tones, black, and white) - There used to be a binder donation, I don't know what the deal is with it now. - Returns are possible. The binder cannot have been worn (tried on is fine), and it must be 30 days within the date of purchase.

Their tape: - Wider skin tone range than the binders (including black, white, and vivid colours if you wanna have fun). - Costs AUD$20-24

Their packers: - Pouches, prosthetics, underwear, straps - Again, limited shade range (about 4-5 per model) - AUD$16-159 (depends on what you want, of course) - I do not pack, so I can't really talk about much here.

I hope this will help someone out there, what with the lack of queer resources there are for aussies. Lots of love and stay safe! <3