#and i'm hoping to do the same this year
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twst (horror) tober — day 1 (listen)
and we're back for round 2!! to keep my sanity this year, i'm going to do my best to keep prompts to ~500 words. if some go longer, then more delight for us all, but this is to keep my expectations manageable and who knows? perhaps i might come back to some of these prompts the way that i still am so very fond of 2022's twstober drabbles :) anyways, i do hope you enjoy the first day's piece! (fun fact: this is a snippet from a fic idea i have buried away....) and of course, these will eventually go up on ao3 when i have the time<3
➤ Day 1: Listen | "Listen to me!"
Sebek is haunted.
Not in the way that his family and friends and neighbors who pass him by on the street and cast him pitying, sorrowful glances think— but oh, how he wishes that he was.
He hears their whispers and murmured commiseration, the hushed voices that speak of a lonely boy lost to the clutches of the unforgiving woods. They shake their heads weighed with grief like the cattails by the river, unable to imagine the gruesome sight that one of their own had stumbled upon— ah, but it was the nature of the world they bargained to live in. A true shame, a tragic reminder, that the youngest Zigvolt was fated to learn such realities from the death of his dearest friend.
Sebek does not correct them.
It is better to let them believe that his drained expression was on account of having found Silver's body mauled in the woods by the animals they are familiar with, rather than the true ones that lurk deep within those ancient glades. It is better to let them cling to their ignorance, to think that the madness of paranoia scratching at his spine is only too understandable by having to discover one's best friend at the scene of his death and the ensuring nightmares that would follow— not that he doesn't have nightmares, that is to say, only that the contents contain horrific figures very much among the living.
Either way, his family knows no better when they find him tangled within his bedsheets, trembling and choking on Silver's name.
No, Sebek is haunted by a presence far too real than the ghost of memory, and his unnerved fingers twitch in the curtains of his bedroom window as his sleep-deprived gaze blinks out to the forest's edge where he can see them.
Three figures where there had once been only two, weaving in and out of the tree line like fish in the stream beneath the call of the moonlight. If he squints, he can make out the lethal curl of dark ivory spouting from the top of one of the figures, and the way that the smaller of the trio does not touch the ground as it tugs their newest member along in a macabre vision of a dance that Sebek cannot pull his gaze away from no matter how hard he tries. There is no mistaking the gleam of familiar silver hair in the beguiling welcome of the night— and even from a mile away, Sebek can all too clearly hear the words that smiling, laughing mouth is speaking, as if Silver himself stood directly behind him in the stillness of his bedroom.
(He wonders if he turns to look, if the boy will surely be there as Sebek remembers him last; blood-stained and smiling so sweetly even in death as Sebek had found him, reaching in the dirt as if to take the hand of one who had led him to his doom.)
"Malleus begs of you to join us, he misses you terribly," Silver's voice all but sings against his strained thoughts, tremors anew bursting down his spine like shrapnel. "Please, Sebek— don't you remember the promises we made? Father came back for me, just as he said he would."
That thing is NOT your father, Sebek wishes to shout and scream in spite of how it would wake his entire family to the horrors lurking outside, the entities cursed to wander the woods and tempt those desperate enough to find solace in their gleaming smiles. But Silver is right, as he often is; Sebek does remember— he remembers a childhood of playing in the woods with Silver, an orphan his family had come to foster and adore. He remembers two imaginary friends who could breathe fire and fly, who could coax butterflies to dance along the breeze and flowers to bloom into the prettiest of crowns. He remembers how much Silver would cling to the affections of a figure with burning crimson eyes, and how much he would the same for a being that smiled down at him with crinkled emeralds older than time itself.
As he had grown older, such strange fantasies had become just that: the result of lonely and imaginative children left to their own devices, spinning stories in the fertile soil of an enchanting landscape. Sebek did not question the time Silver continued to spend within the shadowed trees, for the other boy always did have a unique aptitude for the local wildlife, nor did he find himself with time to spare to wonder about the dreamy smile Silver would often return with, or the odd snatches of unfamiliar songs he'd hear the boy humming tunelessly to himself.
In hindsight, he'd have grabbed a torch and burnt the whole fucking forest down.
Sebek's fingers force themselves to move with a herculean effort that he did not know himself to possess, yanking the curtains shut and blocking out the terrifying sight as Silver's voice rises and fades like radio static, a nauseating sickness pitching forward in his stomach.
"We're supposed to be a family now, Sebek, aren't you listening? Can you not hear them call for you too? I won't let them leave here without you, I promise we'll stay and wait—"
They'd already waited forty-five days. Sebek rocks forward on his heels, squeezing his eyes shut and swallows a hoarse, empty sob.
How many more remained until he found himself walking out to join them?
#lettie writes#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland silver#twst silver#lilia vanrouge#twst lilia#malleus draconia#twst malleus#diasomnia#sebek zigvolt#twst sebek#i am EXCITED HAPPY HALLOWEENNNN#i'm just going to have a lot of fun with these when i can#literally writing these the day of ok forgive any mistakes please#twstober is so special to me; i had a lot of fun last year reconnecting with my love for writing#and i'm hoping to do the same this year#just have fun and see where the prompts take us on this delightfully awful ride!!
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Since book 7 part 5 (the part where we meet Meleanor/Maleanor 👀) is coming to EN this month, i would love to see your take on lilia’s proposal to meleanor! i mean they were like little kids right? it couldn’t have been that serious…i think the only reason she even brought it up again is because she could tell lilia still genuinely loved her…(even if he didn’t realize it himself?) but, oh well! Let’s think about silly childhood shenanigans to numb the pain! ^_^ (orz)
oh shit?! get ready for a doozy guys, it's comiiiiiing ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
I chickened out of posting the whole thing (look, I get VERY carried away when it comes to these wacky kids and their Tragedy), but I do believe that it probably ended with Lilia getting embarrassed and just shoving the first thing he sees into his mouth to try and cover for it.
(we're just lucky it wasn't a frog this time)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 5 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 5 spoilers#please excuse the Dissertation that's about to happen (i have too much headcanon about them)#they've been ambiguous about most of the fae aging/developmental stages (plus lilia and mel's species age differently)#so this is entirely me assuming based on context#but i think that lilia being ~99 was probably about the equivalent of 9-10ish?#(i don't think his age maps perfectly onto 'human age times 10') (if only because i absolutely do not believe general lilia is 29)#(but in this case it feels right to me)#and i think of meleanor as being just slightly older (like ~11-12ish)#so like...kids but not LITTLE-little kids#so i think lilia was serious in a 'i have a huge crush on you and i haven't thought beyond that' kind of way#and meanwhile mel was more cognizant of how their dynamic was basically#lilia: i would die for you#meleanor: that's dumb#(lilia 600 years later: man she was right. that was dumb.)#but yeah I think she might've assumed (or hoped) he would grow out of it#except whoops oh no it just got worse#and then raverne made things MORE complicated and you know honestly maybe getting murdered was kind of a relief#meleanor in heaven: well at least he won't accidentally raise my kid to have the exact same -- are you kidding me#(i have too many thoughts to express properly i'm sorry) (i just. love these morons a lot okay.)
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Hey hey hey may 31th anon! How's 2024 going? ☆ヾ(*´▽`)ノ This year I have for you a leaked Sherlock season 5 image. Thinking of you!! And everyone!!
#may 31th anon#Hello hello hello friends!! How are you!!#I miss you all I miss tumblr I miss drawing these silly men#work was soooo boring today I was really happy that I got to draw John in a baby carrier afterwards (*´︶`*)#what have you been up to??#my job is very boring most of the time unfortunatly!! I want to have a new job a little bit but I also never want to have a job interview#ever again and also I might get a lamp this year (!) I have heard that someone has already printed out the lamp form#are you excited for good omens season 3??#I am!! I have also been watching a lot of x-files#(*´▽`*) we also have moths in the kitchen#I do not know what they are eating we have been storing all of our food in the fridge since last week but new moths keep coming#yesterday one flew out of the forks and spoon drawer#it's her kitchen now#I also got a mole removed#now instead of the mole I have a scar the exact same size an color of the mole#I have also been working on a longer comic project!! I think it will be ready to be shared this summer and I really hope you will like it#it's about the old dragon bros characters and their life with the princesses (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤#I'm having a lot of fun drawing again!!#I hope you're having fun too#also I had to write an email today and I had to attach a pdf file but it was upside down#I could not fix it#I just hit send
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It's the start of spring break. You're a high school senior recovering from an extremely toxic best friendship you had with someone you were desperately in love with, as well as being groomed to be a violent, self-sacrificing machine by your hyper-religious football coach. But everything's cool these days, and so you're helping one of your friends set up the new LGBTQ+ student union at your school to get it ready for when everyone gets back from break. You hear a motorcycle outside. The door bursts open and in walk two of your best friends/teammates. They're actively flexing. The one who killed it at tryouts last year says they both have an offer for you. The one who kissed you at prom last year asks if you're "into adventure". You can only assume they're proposing a threesome. And then, even after they tell you that's not what they were offering, one of them compliments your body and the other one says that a three way make out would be "a cool idea". You are Ragh Barkrock.
#i'm just saying that if i was ragh i would have assumed the exact same thing#ragh is one of my favorite npc's i hope he's doing well next season#fantasy high#ragh barkrock#fhsy#fantasy high sophomore year#dimension 20#d20
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Bingqiu ponies (Happy Birthday @Piosplayhouse!)
#poorly drawn svsss#svsss#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#equineswap au#They live in the same universe: I'm making it canon right now#I do think there are probably better horse breeds to assign these two#but as far as my little PD-SVSSS guys go - I think these fit alright.#Arabian for the gracefulness and elegance. Beautiful horse (all horses are beautiful so its a close race)#(and the missing rib. Cause....you know....)#Didn't quite get the head shape right but there is always next time.#Shetland binghe for the handsome little guy energy. I personally think a non silly little guy LBH would be a shire horse.#This is 100% an open invitation to debate and discuss in the comments and tags btw. I am no expert on SV or horses.#Also HI PIO! If you're reading this I just want to say thank you a million times over for everything.#You've been so kind and supportive and I think you are a brilliant and hilarious person. The tides of the yaoi wars turned when you enliste#I hope this next year for you brings wonderful things. You're a brilliant force in this world and we all are drawn to your light.#Happiest of birthdays to you B*)
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wanted to take another crack at modern les amis (plus extras) since it's been a long time since i've done so !!
#les miserables#les mis#les amis de l'abc#enjolras#combeferre#courfeyrac#marius#cosette fauchelevent#eponine thenardier#joly#bossuet#musichetta#bahorel#jehan#feuilly#grantaire#when i drew these out the first time i forgot to include grantaire in either lineup#and they were already sized and balanced on the canvases and everything so i just...separated him#originally i was planning on adding him to the second lineup but Grantaire Quarantine Zone is objectively funnier so i kept it#i'll be real a few of these designs are basically the same as what i did four years ago. but i didn't have any new ideas....#i'm particularly fond of this jehan though. also pleased with marius#cosette and eponine i just ported from year old sketches from the last time i tried to do these redesigns and failed#because i like them.#anyway! hi <3 hope people like these#crazy what graduating does to a guy. it's like i'm in my unemployment era but actually i still have two jobs#but with just the two jobs...i have time for hobbies again...i can be happy and free...
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PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC OR PAIRING.
Nathan and Ruben share a bond more powerful than most; mutual understanding through past experiences no one should ever have to go through, and through past actions so horrible they cannot be spoken of. Their grief and the blood on their hands binds them to the STEM technology they created, which has alienated them from the rest of the world— but they give each other the comfort they have both longed for so desperately for years, and that is all they need. They are each other's counterpart; you cannot imagine one without the other, like two sides of the same coin. Through their pain, their grief, their desire, and their regret, they have become one.
anna akhmatova, the guest // bones; equinox // 'i won't become' by kim jakobsson // agustín gómez-arcos, the carnivorous lamb // by oxy // achilles come down; gang of youths // czeslaw milosz, from 'new and collected poems: 1931-2001' // 'extended ambience portrait from a resonant biostructure' and 'migraine tenfold times ten' by daniel vega // a little death; the neighbourhood // marina tsvetaeva, from 'poem of the end' // by drummnist // katie maria, winter // 'nocturne in black and gold the falling rocket' by james abbott mcneill whistler // micah nemerever, these violent delights // body language; we are fury // 'the penitent' by emil melmoth // chelsea dingman, from 'of those who can't afford to be gentle'
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;
@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree
#tew#edit:nathan#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#so much shame in my body but still used my taglist but um let me know if you want to be excluded from oc/ship web weaves#just really wanted to share this one because i'm very proud of it and i want it on my blog. so. :]#recognition of the self through the other + wanting so desperately for the other to be deserving of a second chance#because if there is hope for them than there is hope for you etc etc and so on. that's the core of their dynamic i think#they understand each other on such a fundamental level that no one else comes close to because they are in so many ways the same#like how in in the first game leslie could sync up with ru/vik and all that? nathan would be a VERY good candidate for that as well#and it makes me insane!! and then the added layer of nathan being lead developer of mobius' new and improved STEM system#which makes him the same as ru/vik AGAIN but in like. the way that they're both men of [computer] science#and there's the fact they both have a dead sister. they both killed their parents. they were both mobius playthings for YEARS#and they've happily killed and tortured during all of it. they're angry they're out for revenge they're completely disconnected from#the normal human experience and they're working with what they have. and then after all of that is over then what is left?#their story focuses on them picking up all the pieces. everything that's still salvageable at least. and try to start over in a way#they cannot be forgiven for what they've done but they can move on from the past and do different in the future#there's still things left undone and left unsaid... in my canon at least. i know there's not gonna be any more games. it's fine#anyway they end up going to therapy and then they get better they're not a doomed couple they just like being dramatic#if you read all of this we can get married tomorrow if you'd like
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~ Monthly BL Breakdown: April 2024 ~
🌷 Happy May!!! ☀️
Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post!
New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns
What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)
🌟 Love is Like a Cat - April 1st (South Korea / Thailand)
🌟 We Are - April 3rd (Thailand) ✅
🌟 Memory in the Letter - April 6th (Thailand)
🌟 Living With Him - April 11th (Japan)
🌟 Gray Shelter - April 11th (South Korea)
🌟 Beating Again - April 13th (Thailand)
🌟 Blue Boys - April 15th (South Korea)
🌟 At 25:00 in Alasaka - April 18th (Japan)
🌟 GMMTV2024 Part 2 (lineup event) - April 23rd (Thailand) ✅
🌟 Boys Be Brave - April 25th (South Korea)
🌟 CHANGE2561 2024 lineup event - April 25th (Thailand) ✅
🌟 My Stand-In - April 26th (Thailand) ✅
🌟 City Boy Log Vol. 3 - April 30th (South Korea)
New series & movie announcements
🎥 The Fridge - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Flavor of Us (starring Benjamin B., Dome W. & others) - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Children's Day - Date TBA (Taiwan)
🎥 Blue Time - Date TBA (China, possibly censored)
🎥 Bad Guy My Boss - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Oriental Magician In The Ent. Circle - Date TBA (Taiwan)
🎥 Under the Oak Tree - Date TBA (Vietnam)
🎥 Invitation - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 The Love Matter - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 I Saw You in My Dream - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 I Wish You the Best - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Impression of Youth - Date TBA (Taiwan)
🎥 Meet You at the Blossom - Date TBA (Taiwan)
Other news from the BL world
❗️ The production company Studio WabiSabi announced that their actors Boun N., Prem W., Santa P., Sammy C., Yacht P. and Stamp P. have terminated their contracts and will no longer be artists under the company on April 15th. Shortly after, GMMTV announced the 6 of them as newly signed artists, along with the disclosure that BounPrem's upcoming BL Vampire Project is now being produced under GMMTV, who now also own all broadcasting rights; WabiSabi will function as a co-producer. New S. stated on Twitter that the decisions had been long in the making, as well as the fact that WabiSabi no longer functions as a management agency for actors and is now a mere production company. He also denied the rumors that the company is shutting down. Shortly after the transfer of the Wabi Sabi actors, actor Fluke Jeeratch (formerly Pongsakorn) joined GMMTV as well.
❗️ The Filipino BL Gameboys is getting a third season. An air date has not been confirmed.
❗️ P Ekkapop and Pan Jirachot, the lead actors from Kiseki Chapter 2, have announced a new project together. Details are unknown.
❗️ Actor Barcode Tinnasit has announced his departure from his agency Be On Cloud.
❗️ After some confusion, the Korean production company Studio X+U announced that their upcoming series Fragile - which was initially advertized as a Korean SKAM remake - is in fact not connected to the Norwegian web series and is instead a standalone series, which focuses on the life of a group of teenagers. According to ZUM News, there was supposed to be a Korean SKAM remake based on the Norwegian original, which was however cancelled due to unknown reasons. Fragile was created as a substitution.
❗️ GMMTV held their 2024 part 2 event on April 23rd. The following BL projects were announced:
The Heart Killers (starring FirstKhao & JoongDunk)
Perfect10 Liners (starring ForceBook, PerthChimon, JuniorMark)
Heart That Skips a Beat (starring EstWilliam)
Revamp (starring BounPrem, formerly known as Vampire Project)
Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist (starring MarkOhm)
The Ex-Morning (starring KristSingto)
❗️ The production company CHANGE2561 held their 2024 lineup event on April 25th. The following BL projects were announced:
This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (starring SailubPon)
Goddess Bless You From Death (starring PavelPooh)
I’m The Most Beautiful Count (starring PingSupanut)
Pit Babe Season 2
Upcoming series & movies for May
👉🏻 You Made My Day (starring Tar A. and Bom T. from I Will Knock You) - May 3rd (Thailand)
👉🏻 Inverse Identity / Upside Down - Mary 3rd (China)
👉🏻 Wandee Goodday - May 4th (Thailand)
👉🏻 A Balloon's Landing - May 10th (Taiwan)
👉🏻 City of Stars: Special Episode - May 10th (Thailand, cinema release)
👉🏻 The Time of Fever (Unintentional Love Story spinoff) - May 15th (South Korea)
👉🏻 Blossom Campus - May 16th (South Korea)
👉🏻 OMG! Vampire - May 19th (Thailand)
👉🏻 Manji Reverse - May 24th (Japan)
👉🏻 My Biker 2 - May 28th (Thailand)
#doreens monthly bl breakdown#thai bl#bl drama#upcoming bl#update#bl news#decided to do my likes/dislikes in the tags in case some entitled 'fans' are coming for my throat again#my Monthly Like goes to My Stand-In because sorry but the first ep slapped#the story is really interesting also i missed my boy Up so much??? I havent seen him in like 3 years 🥺#Ming is a red flag lmao but up is doing really well and I also didn't think he would act again since he's been producing lately#but I'm so happy he's back!!!#and I really hope the show stays at that level bc the 1st ep was more than solid#the other guy is pretty good too#another Like is going to the gmmtv lineup bc I feel really good about it!!#so many promising projects it makes me excited 😊#my Monthly Dislike goes to Love is Like a Cat bc wow it's terrible lol#good to know that Mew's lakorns aren't paying his bills anymore lmao#I dropped it instantly#its SO bad#kinda sad for Mew though#in other news this korean skam situation is confusing me so much lmao#like there was supposed to be an adaption but that got cancelled for whatever reason so now they're making a new show that's.....the same?#make it make sense lmao#also what up with all those gmmtv tranfers lol#whos next??#dmd hand over ur gays jhgkfd#or maybe dont#can u imagine the dmd boys at gmmtv#they would get fired for public indecency#jhdsfkd
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he's so important to me
#i guess i need to watch the anime but super's manga has just been a self-indulgent fever dream for me from start to finish#100000/10 absolutely perfect so validating so extremely catered to my tastes and headcanons and analyses and humor#so fucking funny and emotional and intense and goofy and beautifully drawn#my beautiful son getting to finally fucking see his HARD won character growth fucking shine and choose love and choose to be loved!!!!!!#Goku just being Goku Vegeta being Team Dad Piccolo being Team Grandpa Bulma being a fucking superstar keeping everybody organized and fed#god i love this squad i love this series i love these dumbasses and their struggles and their triumphs and their stupid childish bonding#I love that Toriyama just spent the last several years reminding the class that DB as a whole has always been an ACTION-COMEDY about LOVE#and I'm SO sad that the z anime really never did it justice in that sense because of having to fill time with dramatic tension but god. GOD#THE MANGA HAS ALWAYS BEEN SO CLEAR ON THAT THESIS.#Just all about Restorative Justice and Community and CARING even when you wish SO MUCH that you didn't care but yoU DO GODDAMMIT!!!#SUCH a great series I'm so sad it took losing mr t for me to finally read it but my god I needed to read it now and I'm so glad he wrote it#and i'm SO glad he wrote it Exactly Like This#once again rip to a legend i'm caught up and crying it's so perfect it's SO everything I've wanted to see onscreen and embedded in canon#and canon isn't everything but it still feels gREAT to be SO 1:1 on the same page with an author re: how you interpret your blorbo yknow???#been rotating this man in my head for 25 years and Mr Toriyama just mWAH kissed me on the forehead about it#anyway enough tag rambles I'm off again aklsjla#bonus for that kenpachi shit and letting him say 'sorry dude I can't be cold and numb anymore but this is still cathartic as fuck lol' like#mr t i hope you see the HIGHEST tier of heaven for that (and obviously for like everything all of it the whole life you led)#dbtag
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#selfie bee#me telling a coworker who I have been working with for 4 months and whose name I do not know about my toenails#i'm sorry Tobias (?? Paul ??) it was the only topic I could come up with after I already told you about the big bird I saw in 8th grade#FRIENDS how are you!! :) how has the new year been so far!!#did you have a lot of snow on christmas!#we did and it was really fun! I had a very bad cold so I just watched the snow from inside but that was good too c:#do you have any plans for the new year?#i always have lot and most of the time I do not do any of them but planning is fun#this year I REALLY want to watch all of Star Trek ヽ(´∇`)ノ#I would also love to learn how to make a handstand#imagine if you could just make yourself upside down#but it is a far away dream because honestly I am not very good at being usual side up most of the time either#but I will try probably at least 2 times to learn it ( ᐛ )#maybe I'll finally finish that website!#new years are good and fun#it's wild to think about how much daily life has changed since last year but I feel just the same :)#who knows what this year will bring!#I hope I don't hit a pheasant with my car#I almost hit a pheasant with my car last year and the pheasant made direct eye contact#I wonder how he is doing today#since that moment I think about pheasants a lot#I knew they were real but I had never seen one#just to know they are out there is a mystical feeling#right know it is raining so all the pheasants might be wet#get dry soon pheasants!!#I don't think I've ever seen a wet bird either#I don't know what do do with all these birds thoughts#also thank you for the person who asked about my skirt!! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅#I've finished it and its really really bad#but I love it
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The unmistakable sound of footsteps approaching begins to fill the air. Whoever is coming seems to have brought some company along…
They are getting closer… and closer… and closer…
…and closer…
……until..................
"Goooooood evenin'!!" Comes the loud greeting from a certain blond man. A big smile on his face and all.
"We beg your pardon for our prolonged absence. It was completely beyond our control..." Then adds the gentleman standing by his side, apologizing on behalf of both, offering a genuine smile along with the apology.
"...BUT! We're back!" And hopefully for good this time…
#[HI HIIIIIII~~ HOW'S EVERYONE DOING?? 8)]#[IDK IF ANYONE REMEMBERS ME OR MY MUSES ANYMORE?? BUT HELLOOO]#[one million years later but we're backkkkkk]#[i'd like to start by apologizing for completely disappearing for months without any announcement]#[life has been far from kind all this year so far and this has greatly and negatively impacted me emotionally]#[like..very VERY badly (harmful stuff and etc)]#[all to a point where i've had to take some time off from most social media]#[and which is also why i haven't checked or replied to any messages anywhere in a while]#[not that i'm the most social and most active person ever but you get what i mean here ;v;]#[the original plan was to come back here like a month or so ago but as you can guess i was unable to due to the same irl issues]#[i'm not gonna lie i'm still not doing well]#[but i wanted to come back or at least try to]#[since writing for these two and the ogre street guys always brings me joy and i also missed everyone here!]#[i'm still unsure if dropping threads will be the way to go for now or not#because i have no idea if my partners are still interested in any threads we had prior my unannounced hiatus]#[or if anyone's still interested in interacting with me and my muses again ;v;]#[so if we have ongoing threads i'll likely be jumping into your IMs over the course of the days to ask about it]#[i just need to check my thread tracker first because i can't remember what i owed last time ;;;;;;]#[as always: we can start new stuff any time in case you're no longer feeling whatever threads we had]#[and we can also start from scratch if that's best too]#[so no worries there!]#[enough blablah from me for now]#[i missed you all so much!]#[and to the new followers this blog somehow earned in my absence: Hi!! Thank you for following and I hope we can interact soon!!]#[hope everyone has been doing great during my absence!! <3]#;speedwagon says (( ic ))#;jonathan says (( ic ))#;ic#(??#;speedwagon withdraws coolly
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Yanqing and Yunli Appreciation Post
Keep Reading cut due to 2.4 spoilers~ (also relatively long-ish post)
These two bounce off each other so well! As a writer, it feels so satisfying to see their characters shine through the quest and the event in the way their interactions highlight them. So I'm gonna use this space to ramble about it!
My previous post pretty much talked about it already, but Yanqing!!! My son!!! I was quite worried that any potential arc for him would be shoved down the road or to the side due to the scale HSR has, but the game's been actually holding up to his ongoing arc. As a result, at least to me, he's come through as one of the best written/developed characters on the Xianzhou so far.
The nature of the length of the updates lets what we get in previous quests settle in for a long while, and considering the mentioned of flow of time in-game, Yanqing's had the time to think and develop as a person. The fact that so many players have had their view and opinion of him finally turn around in this quest is a testament to that. We get to see more facets of him, as in, doing his job and the responsibilities of doing so, and how his insecurities are mentioned in a main quest for all to see. He's constantly referencing others and his past encounters. You can tell that Jing Yuan raised him with his manner and approach to things, which is highlighted by the contrast to Yunli (will get to that soon).
His position as a child soldier has made him mature faster, be quiet even when he's been wronged (filial piety/saving face (aka thank you person on Reddit who makes the banger character Yanqing (and other characters in general) appreciation posts)), take a step back and have to be able to read the room (though, reasonably, he doesn't catch on all the time), and much, much more. The fact that other official content has described him as being more worried about diplomacy and all that. He doesn't have the luxury to be as carefree or brash for someone his age.
There's a lot to unpack there still, even with the development he's had now and that's good! If the Hoyo writing team was wild enough, it'd be cool to see them address the grayness of his role and Jing Yuan's mindset in raising him as he did (We love Dad-Yuan and he loves his son dearly no question, but it'd be so interesting to explore his flaws/mistakes in this perspective!).
Now onto Yunli.
I'm saying straight off the bat, I'm irritated by her!
And that's a good thing!
Her being annoying or bratty or irritating doesn't automatically make her a badly written character! She only would become one if they don't do anything with her, and HSR most probably will, and she should be given the same room to develop in her own arc.
She acts like her age, and she doesn't have the same pressures as Yanqing does. Just like how you can see Jing Yuan in Yanqing, you can see Huaiyan in Yunli, if anything he says is to go by. She's tempremental and outspoken to a fault, and based on the way how quickly Huaiyan relented when she talked back, you can tell that Huaiyan isn't as strict/stern with her to give her a sense of being humble.
I had this thought that she's technically what the general fandom viewed Yanqing as initially, and I'm not saying that as a 100% thing, by the way. But like by some traits and the vibes. She, of course, has a lot more nuance that will be explored at one point or another.
But back on topic, she's a foil. They represent two different approaches and lifestyles and can clearly learn from each other. Her inconsideration of the fact that she's on the Luofu but enforcing Zhuming practices (which I noticed people were upset by, and same; which I imagine is the point), her bluntness to no matter who she's talking to—there's a lot to work with here.
Just like with their swordplay, Yanqing could learn from her mental strength while Yunli can learn from his focused speed and defense. He can learn to regain a more firm grasp of his recently found purpose while she can learn to mature and take in her surroundings and be more thoughtful in that front.
Another interesting note is that where we are with Yanqing currently is in the middle of his arc, we've had the time to see him take a long route of struggle to get to this point, exacerbated by irl players views of him. He's in the middle of his growth and we've had since 1.0 to get to know him. But with Yunli, she was introduced very recently, so we're technically at the "beginning" of her character arc. In a way, Yunli now highlights how far Yanqing has come and changed, and in a way Yanqing now is a potential show for the arc that Yunli can have (not being the exact same as him of course).
I think the idea with these two is that they develop to be more balanced. Balance is such an important thing, especially in Chinese culture (Daoism (Yin-Yang), etc.), and 2.4 has shown how much potential they have to make for amazing character arcs.
It's cool that while they have such similar base traits, they're so different from each other. Calling Yunli a female Yanqing or Yanqing a male Yunli is simply outright incorrect. Their backgrounds, upbringings, ideals, swordstyles, perspectives, and positions in life are so distinct. I'm looking forward to their futures!
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr yanqing#hsr yunli#character appreciation#character analysis#despite writing all of that i still feel like i haven't encapsualted fully what i wanted to say esp about yanqing#for yunli i want more time with her character to see where they take her character#i'd assume that they'd give her the same amount of effort as they did yanqing cause it'd be a shame if she remained static which might be#fine superficially since it'd be a cool contrast to yanqing's constant directly visible changing but on a deeper level#yunli a year from now shouldn't be the exact same as she is currently and if she somehow is#that'd be the worst case scenario writing-wise and I trust Hoyo enough to not do that#but if they somehow do then you know what essay I'm writing that day lol#not liking yunli is fine as is not liking yanqing is fine too but I hope she doesn't get treated like Yanqing til her development arc#tho she probably won't which also says a lot if that turns out to be the case#but i'm already making these tags way too long and my brain is very small LOL#struggling jpg thinks
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the x files au where everything is exactly the same except mulder takes home the child neanderthal from the jersey devil episode and raises them as his own
#you could make this super fun and invoke a sense of deep Guilt on behalf of mulder because he feels he got the mom neanderthal killed#and then you can also make it fun in “c'mon sport let's go throw the ball around kind of way”#i imagine him at the library checking out books on early humanoid species and how to parent at the same time#the librarian silently checking the books out and wondering what on earth this man could possibly be needing such resources for#imagine scully's reaction to this. i can't quite place it beyond initial Disbelief and then subsequent trying to be as supportive as she ca#and she would probably be also very Nerdy about the whole thing. because she strikes me as someone well-read on the subject and fascinated#we also know she at least has some experience wrangling children which would be relevant#i imagine a bunch of anthropologists perpetually hovering over the child to study him but they have to be Chill and not disrupt his life#so the kid just grows up thinking they have a ton of really cool and supportive aunts and uncles over all the time#meanwhile they scientists are taking notes furiously as they see if he can adapt to playing a gameboy with the other kids#idk someone probably thought of this idea before but it's funny to me#why would the kid go to him and not someone far more qualified? idk i'm just playing pretend in my brain :)#this thought was prompted by me wondering if you time traveled and brought an early humanoid to the modern era do you think the kid#would still play minecraft? i say yes. probably.#i saw a post about something similar years ago and i wonder about it. i hope you would like cartoons and subway surfers neanderthals.#the x files#txf#fox mulder
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How To Overcome Your Fears
Thank you to @bichou-angel for suggesting this PAC idea. Know that I love it a lot.
Piles go from left to right, up to down. Memos and notes used here are by me, everything is literally by me. And I do not consent my work being used by third parties in other websites as well.
Now. Breathe in with me, and then breathe out. Picked your pile? Let’s scroll down to see what are the messages for you.
Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it.
Decks used: Linestrider Tarot Deck, Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Flower Petals Oracle Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self made lyrics deck.
Pile 1:
How to overcome your fears? By letting go of what no longer serves you and by embracing your inner child. See, you’re prolly the type of person who loves to take things up upon yourself because you don’t trust others, or you are not comfortable with letting others to do tasks that will affect you (something like group assignment isn’t your forte cuz you tend to do 90% of the scope). It’s not easy to let go, but you have to accept your own flaws as well as the flaws of others. After that, you’ll need to learn to reconstruct the thoughts in your head where flaws are failures. Cuz you see them as something that doesn’t align with you, but sometimes (or most of the time), others may see your method as authoritarian and whatever you do doesn’t align with them. Acceptance is difficult, but it’s necessary, and that’s one of your biggest challenges to overcome. Be here at the present with willing hands and heart.
You may have a lot of nurturing to do, starting with yourself. However, instead of the feminine energy of nurturing, there's more of a… Divine sense to it. Along with some judgement that you really couldn’t help. Lemme give an example.
You came across this PAC. Though your heart tells you to believe it, your brain couldn’t help but to be critical and just tries to deny some random people on the internet telling you that these are your fears and how you can overcome them. Someone online who doesn’t know you personally? Telling you your fears? Overcoming it just by “embracing your inner child”? Hello?
Yeah this kind of divine sense and judgement is what I’m talking about. It is not easy to let go of what you’ve been taught, which is good. But sometimes, you’re called to listen to your heart, only then you’ll be able to obtain a different sense of mental clarity, something that will be able to help you in the near future.
That aside, going back to the nurturing part. You’re called to nurture your inner child and to try again the things you’ve used to enjoy. For example, if you’ve used to enjoy drawing and arts, try going back into it again. If you’ve used to playing a musical instrument or composing music, try going back into it again. If you’ve enjoyed doing algebra equations and all, try going back into it again. It never hurts to do things you’ve enjoyed. Reconnect with your inner child through fun and play, nurture them, help them, heal them. Your life has been filled with a lot of confrontations, so try soothing them a little with some fun.
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Pile 2:
Walking away from the past is what you need to do. There’s still so many fears in you because you’re still staying in the place that caused you the most hurt. You couldn’t control the things that have happened, so the better option towards it is to leave. But of course, to leave requires a lot of strength and courage, and it’s gonna be worse if you don't have proper financial assistance to leave. Either ways, you’ll find the courage and the opportunity to get out. There’s The Sun in this pile, but instead of seeing things will turn bright, I’m seeing it as a chance to get out. Toxic situations won’t turn nice cuz it’s already fermented and bad there for so freaking long.
I’m also seeing fears of disappointing others in this pile? Which is why y’all tend to take up a lot of responsibilities and burn yourself out in the process. You have this innate uhh… Expression in you. It’s like deep inside you, you want to shine, you want the eyes of people to be on you. That’s why you took up a lot of tasks, even tasks that should be other people’s responsibility. You want to be liked. Thing is, you need to accept that your inner peace is more important than the visibility and fame you want to gain. Some people can have both, but are you one of them? If you’re not, you need to weigh which is more important, or you need to find a point of balance between these two. Sometimes, a quiet time for yourself, with yourself would be good for some introspection, where you welcome some comfort into your life, allow your guides to show up and send you any messages.
Treat yourself with care, give yourself the kindness that you'd want to receive. Letting go of self-criticism is your main task for now and know that your guides have been trying to send you so many powerful messages. Let yourself be free from your past. Know that your past doesn’t define you and you have a whole lot of abundance waiting for you in the future. It’s difficult to see it right now, it’s difficult to believe in it too. But know that it’s real. You’ve gone through so much, and it only makes sense when the Universe wants to reward you for all you’ve been through.
Take a deep breath, and let it all out. Do it a couple of times. Pat yourself on the shoulder for me. You’ve done well and you’ll continue to do your best of the day every single day. Expect a new you coming out bit by bit. Have some tea and welcome them.
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Pile 3:
To all who picked this pile, I feel you a lot, because this is the pile I’ve picked and if it sounds personal, it’s mainly because I prolly subconsciously wrote it for myself.
There’s a lack of balance here, lack of control in this pile. This pile fears not having things in their control and tends to flail around when things happen because. They are not used to going with the flow. There’s this saying in Chinese that goes 船到桥头自然直 , which means things will naturally resolve itself when it’s here. However, my dear pile 3 are probably over-thinkers who can’t accept things to flow on their own. With this, the fear will make you lose your foothold and you’ll feel a lot of disappointments and upsets and a bunch of other not so nice feelings. I wouldn’t call them negative feelings cuz they’re all here for a reason.
You’re also prolly the type who feels caught up in the past, thinking of what you’ve done or said and how you could have fixed the problem if you said a certain thing. Once again, this is peak overthinking energy. You’re called to let those thoughts go, as they’re holding only you back. They’re not disturbing others but you only. Let the past go as it is over, and let your true self, a more experienced you, to step forward. Life’s a constant learning process, so don’t hold yourself too hard, let yourself learn, allow yourself to learn. Once you’ve accepted the fact that we’re all learning, then maybe your fears can lessen a bit. Remember, tomorrow is always a day of new hope.
There’s a childhood card present and it can talk about reconnecting to your childhood, to your inner child. Your inner child is like a divine whisper in your heart and you’re called to listen to it. I saw the word mirror and I think there’s some mirroring of activities (your inner child is mirroring something you do, or you’re mimicking something your inner child is doing), or there may be some reflection going on. Your dreams may be significant as well so maybe pay certain attention to certain themes that have been going on.
You’re called to take action now. Whatever that you’ve been wanting to do, now is the best time. Remember that you’re the co-creator of your life and destiny. A bunch of messages may come, there may be a bunch of things to do. But ultimately, you’re the one who needs to select which message to listen to, which items you should act on. If something’s too much for you to handle and you’re starting to feel anxious, try asking help and working with someone else to get things done?
Once again, remember, you’re no longer the you from the past days. You’re a new you facing a new challenge. Be kind to yourself. You’re facing so many things and it’s alright to let yourself be swept away at times. Remember to get up at the end of things or whenever you wanna fight it. I have faith in you.
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Pile 4:
First of all, it’s time to evolve. Know that you may be an ugly duckling for now but it’s time for you to transform into the beautiful swan that you’re meant to be.
Next up. I’m not quite sure what the fears of this pile are, but I see that you tend to distract yourself with new projects so that instead of spending your time worrying about things, you can redirect the energy and focus on something new that you’ve wanted to do. You’re very conscious of your own fears and those who picked this pile have a clear and concise plan on how to manoeuvre around them, letting go of things that should be thrown aside.
However, being aware of your fears doesn’t guarantee overcoming them. Sometimes you’re just moving away from it, ignoring it until one day it prolly gobbles you up. No fault in it cuz you’ll pick yourself up again and find ways to counter it during then. Still, have you thought of countering it when you’re feeling fine right now? Or you’re just confused and have no idea where to start? We’ll see what insights the cards have to offer you.
You’re called to stop taking up so many things and slowly let go of tasks that are burdening you, that are hurting you. There’s this Ten of Swords in reverse here, which tells me the pain they did is more damaging than wearing you down. You’ll need to utilise your thinking skills and let certain things and thoughts go.
Another thing the cards are telling you is to make strong emotional connections with the important people in your life. It’s time for you to reconnect with your old friends and to maybe go for a cup of tea? Comfort of good company always helps in easing and healing past hurts that have been there. I have a feeling that these people are also here to help you to bring certain messages that you need to hear, bring forth certain changes so that you can transition into a new you.
There’s some strength in you that you need to unlock, so maybe it’s time for you to explore certain heritages of yours, and maybe you can get certain information or updates from there. You may even unlock a new skill from it, and it may even help you to be more at peace with yourself.
For some reason, reading also is significant. Pay attention to the words that appear around you and digest those messages. Maybe lyrics. Who knows, certain part of the lyrics may awaken something new in you, or allow you to cry out the tears that you’ve been holding in for so long that you never knew of. Letting them go only gives you space to focus on nicer things in life that can help you cope or deal with your fears.
Pile 4, your pile is one of the most difficult piles I’ve felt and I really hope all the best for you. I don’t know if my words are making sense right now cuz there’s clarity and confusion at the same time. Just drop me an ask or rb or comment if you have any questions and I’ll do my best to answer you.
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Thank you for reading until the end. Working on yourself, especially fears and past are not easy, and I’m proud of you that you’ve decided to work on yourself. Remember, it’s all baby steps.
#tuliptic#🌷#pick a card#pick a pile#tarot#tarot reading#this is honestly what i'm most used to in doing#messages for self#introspection and healing kinda thing#which reminds me i should do a pac for self healing#or maybe i dont need to since there's bits and pieces here#FS readings will come back but not this year probably#i'm gonna be busy for the next few weeks hshshshshs#i should catch up with my games as well as cleaning my room#anyways hope y'all enjoy this PAC as well and show it the same support y'all have with my FS readings#once again#i'm doing this for my own entertainment
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Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.
#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town#but like. We have Differences Of Opinion#and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off#but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on#but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him#but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him#and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit#like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men#but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD#like bro#I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle#and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope#but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own#like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little#like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang#but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me#like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit#But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy#I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me
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man. what was even the point of all the parallels the villains (esp. shigaraki, dabi and toga) to the heroes just to have them all die. what's the point. I'm glad i dropped bnha when i did, that's so damn frustrating. they should have been saved. the set up could have resulted in such a good pay off, just for them to throw that all away.
Hi! Sorry for the late reply. I spent most of last night working on my fix-it todofam fic, haha
Anyway, I've been wondering about the same thing. Despite everything, I don't think this is the ending Horikoshi originally had in mind. He has many flaws as a writer, but I do believe him to be a strongly compassionate person. The main problem with bnha imo is that he always seems to struggle to put his foot down and see through his choices all the way. Enji's arc in particular is full of this type of problem. One moment he's depicted as an unredeemable, unchanging monster, and two chapters later he's someone whose journey to self-betterment we're supposed to cheer for—a misguided guy who is trying his best and still failing. You get what I mean?
If it's true that the theme of DV is dear to Horikoshi (and I think it is, from how intimately he writes its intricacies), then I can understand that duality, at least. The fact that he can't quite make up his mind on who he wants to humanize more. But it's still disappointing. It feels insincere, the way he's wrapping up this story by pretending this is where he was always meant to go. For all of his indecision, at the very least he's never denied the Leagues' humanity, not until this very abrupt, tonal-shift ridden ending. And a part of me wonders if it's just Horikoshi's way to cater to the part of the fandom that's always loudest, the one that's been arguing for bloody 'justice' all along. If he's unable to handle that criticism on a work he holds so dear. And yet, by responding to it, by changing tracks on his own set up, he still managed to invalidate everything the story ever said about compassion, and that's the worst part.
#Ali replies#If this is hitting us so strongly a part of me thinks it must be hitting him as well#All criticism of bnha aside. You can't deny that shigaraki in particular is a character hori poured a lot of himself into#But anyway#Yes despite everything I've just said I'm bitter too#I don't think I will catch up on the chapters I missed either#Just watching bits and pieces of this arc in season 7 was frustrating enough#Bc this is where things started to get really uncomfortable#But hey#I don't regret reading this manga#Do I hate this ending? Yes. Passionately. I was so angry at it for days#I still am if I'm honest. It's unfair and callous and it's hard to swallow after that hopeful set up#But at the same time... Bnha has given me dabi. And the todosibs#And I can't deny how cathartic a story this has been for me. At least for a couple of years#I'll try my best to remember it by that yknow#Bnha#Bnha critical
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