#and i'll try not to stress about it either

[indexthejester]

01: meh I think. Getting better I suppose.

02: My friend, we say it when ending calls

03: far too much. Sometimes it hits me like a bullet to the chest. Feels like the metal ball in my brain pinballs into a bumper that gives negative points.

04: no definitely not <- she lied

05: single and looking for friends which may turn into queerplatonic relations. Not that I'm crossing my fingers.

06: slowly and calmly enough to analyze the way it feels to die, but not too peacefully that it's otherwise uninteresting.

07: Zaxby's chicken strips

08: tried a few. Not my thing. Except tennis, I liked that one. Not sure if snowboarding counts but I like that too.

09: Yes I do it sucks.

10: never had one, unless wrestling counts

11: I like many people. I love them too. I suppose I have a crush on people that I relate too, especially if I find them interesting. I want to know every part of them intimately. To drink it all in.

12: yes

13: I don't think so, I try not to. I don't think it's very useful for solving my or the world's problems, and it makes me feel pretty miserable in the process.

14: probably somewhat, I'm pretty lonely most of the time so yeah almost always. I work and live better when I'm with someone I like. Whether talking or just present in the same "space".

15: 2 family dogs, one day I'll move out and get a cat probably. Cats are great.

16: chill, minus the usual slight heartburn. Just got our of the shower and am lying in bed, getting messages from a new friend, living well.

17: no, very out of left field question

18: not really. I find them interesting though. They either look like insects or weirdly mammalian despite being neither. Weird that scorpions are more closely related.

19: nah there's nothing for me back there.

20: god I wish

21: talk to a friend and life planning

22: no, I mean I'm good with them and it's very fulfilling I just find it stressful. Right now I have so much I want to do I can't see myself adopting and settling down but maybe idk.

23: 2 for earrings

24: Math and English I suppose. Programming too if college counts

25: Maybe. Not at the moment. In recent past, it was fun to hang out at the lgbtq center in college. Sucks that I'm stuck at home now.

26: more social interaction. I may be anxious about how I reply or generally talk through textual messaging, but it makes me feel all comfy inside :3 also sleep because it is 2:36am for me rn.

27: idk

28: no

29: never had one

30: eye strain and heart burn and social anxiety.

31: I think so. I don't think it's for me to say, I try to love myself at least, though it's really hard.

32: magenta, or some other combo of purple and red. Hence the Melantha pfp. Also she's autistic.

33: yes, very much so

34: can't remember. The last one I remember was very sexual which is unusual for me.

35: cried on a call with a friend of mine I think. Just scared of the state the world's in.

36: I don't know, I don't know if I've had to

37: depends on the person I guess. Sometimes you can't do either. Just gotta learn to live with what happened.

38: So far absolutely not. But in the past 4 days I've had a lot of fun being alive. It is fun to make new friends and connect with people and have fun.

39: excluding my parents it hasn't happened

40: yes

51: chicken alphredo and chicken cordon bleu

52: I don't believe in fate, but I do believe in causality, to an extent.

53: brush my teeth I think. Maybe watch a youtube video or masterbate, though I usually do the latter as I'm falling asleep so I'm not sure if it counts.

54: I'm sure you could invent some crazy scenario where it is, but in general I think betraying your partner's trust is just about the worst thing you can do in a relationship.

55: I try not to be.

56: 0

57: when I am vulnerable and comfortable, I am filled to bursting with love for the world and everything in it. So if "true" means "pure unfiltered" then maybe yeah. Me x The Universe. Me x All My Friends.

58: bright but not too bright, grey skies, no visavle sun, chill in the air. Can move around without sweating buckets.

59: YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS

60: very much so someday. Already planning it out.

61: never had it happen to me though it seems pretty boring standard. Call me your owner, handler, mad scientist, something interesting.

62: a loving community and the ability to freely create art

63: yeah obviously

64: yeah I'm too old for that it's weird

65: what are we role-playing now? I don't know, depends on the context. (Treating "sex" as "gender" for these questions btw.)

66: no, I don't. I wouldn't call any of my friends men.

67: My father but I honestly wonder if he's not a little trans

68: like a really deep conversation? Uhh definitely @thatweirdyellowrat. Haven't felt that much mental clarity after a conversation in a long time. I would not be as happy or geared to make new friends if not for that.

69: Fuck no.

70: I think so yeah, more than one actually. Which is saying something because I value my life a lot.

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[midnight-mourning]

Let Me Love You

Hi @spineapplestudios!! I was your Secret Valentine this year!!! I wrote you a little hurt/comfort piece with Sun hehe, I hope you enjoy!!

Word Count: 2391

💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

You wring your hands, checking the time once again.

The clock reads 3:03 am. Late. Far too late. 

When things took this long, it was never good. Not in the slightest. It meant that things had went wrong, one way or another. But you had no way of knowing for sure until they got back. Stuck simply lying—or in this case, sitting or pacing—awake until someone walked through the door. 

You knew they were capable, knew they could handle most any threat thrown their way. But that didn't stop the worry from sinking into you all the same. Holding a vice grip of dread around your heart as you listened to the 'tick, tick, tick' of the wall clock. 

Maybe you should have argued more this time. Made your case again for how and why you could be of help. Sure, you weren't strong in that regard. Not like them. 

Merely human, no abilities or powers, weaker, certainly, without a doubt. But that didn't mean you weren't capable. That didn't mean you couldn't try, couldn't fight your hardest, your best, in the ways that you could contribute. 

You were smart, quick on your feet, good in stressful situations. Your first aid skills weren't terrible either. You could help! And if he would let you train and learn to fight or at least more than just basic defense, surely then you'd stand a decent chance. 

"Not fast enough, love." Sun would say, wooden blade hitting against yours, pushing down to force you to almost kneel from his strength. "Not strong enough. One wrong move is all it takes. It's not worth the risk."

You think that if he actually trained you, instead of throwing you to the wolves immediately that maybe you wouldn't crumple like a sack of potatoes at every blow, but that was just your opinion. 

However, everytime you tried to bring it up, it only ended in another argument. Words thrown around that shouldn't be, regrets sinking in with each and every blow. You, weren't great for each other in that regard. Feeding off each other's worst traits in a situation where you should be trying to negate them. 

Maybe that's why he outright refused to let you help, you two weren't—admittedly—the best when it came to that kind of communication. And if you couldn't agree off the battlefield, it wasn't a good sign for when you were on it. 

That didn't mean you wouldn't try, though. You'd do anything to just be given a chance to show that you could help. Just one chance. 

The door creaks open then, pulling you from your clouded thoughts. 

Sun trudges in, slight stumble to his steps. The door shutting behind him with a muted click. 

He looks up, eyes locking with yours, widened in surprise upon seeing you still up. "I, love, why are you awake?"

"As if I could even think about sleeping." You tsk, then notice the way he's clutching his side. "Wait, are you okay? What happened? Is everyone alright?"

You hurry over to him, fretting, unsure what to do. 

He waves you off, moving past you to collapse onto the couch, sitting back with a heaved sigh. "Just a knick. I'll live. Go to bed."

"I, you can't be serious." You shake your head, trying to keep your anger under check. 

Sun pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. "Please, not now. I can't tonight. I'll make it up to you tomorrow, alright?"

You bite your cheek, frustration going from a simmer to almost boiling over. There's so much you want to say. How it's not fair to just toss you away, especially when he's hurting like this. How that's not how love works, it's a two-way street, and yet, he never lets you give him that, you realize. 

It's always him appreciating you, cherishing you. Showing you how much he cares, but the moment you try and offer the same, he shuts down, shuts you out. You've never understood it, and despite your efforts in trying to find out why, you've yet to succeed.

But, that's a discussion for another time. Calling him out from his walls won't stop him from bleeding out. 

You head over to under the sink, grabbing the first aid kit and walking back over to him. You kneel on the ground, setting the kit on the couch beside him.

"I said—"

"I know what you said." You interject. "I know. But I don't care. You're just going to have to deal with it."

You ignore the noise he makes in response, opening up the kit and searching through for the supplies you need. 

Bot medical supplies and human weren't so different, you'd quickly found out once they'd become part of your day to day. They could still get hurt, still suffer just as much. Still die. 

You shake the thought off, grabbing the gauze and turning back to nod at him. "Shirt off."

"Gladly." He purrs, starting to lift it off and remove it.

You tsk. "Stop that."

"Oh, but you make it so,"—he coughs, groaning as he finally gets the clothing off, throwing it away in agitation, another cough—"Inticing."

You repress the eye roll you want to give him. Instead leaning in to inspect the damage a bit closer, Just a slice, across the equivalent of his rib cage. Not deep, only on the surface, but still an issue all the same. You search around for something to  soak up what's there, and Sun offers his shirt. 

You raise a brow. He shrugs. "It's ruined anyway, might as well put it to good use."

You take it, wiping away the oil and staining the shirt in the process.

Quiet as you work, cleaning and bandaging the wound. 

"I could have sewed it for you, if you wanted." You say. 

A click. "I wouldn't ask that of you."

"Why not? Why wouldn't you?" You ask. "You never—" You hold your tongue. 

A hand on your cheek, guiding you to look up at him. "Never what?"

"I want to take care of you. Help you. You, you never let me. And it's not fair. Do you know how badly I want to? Do you know how much it aches that I feel like I can't do anything for you?" You lean into his touch, taking hold of his hand to make sure he doesn't pull away, retreat. That he listens to you. "I just, you do so much, for me, for Dazzle, for everyone. Why can't you let that favor be returned? Just, let me. For once. Please."

As you speak—beg, really—Sun's grip on your cheek tightens. Glancing up to him you can see the confliction in his eyes. Something he doesn't let slip often. Only in moments like this, late nights like this. Or if he's not sober, but you know that's not the case at the moment. 

When he starts to let you go you panic. But he hushes you, patting beside himself on the couch. It clicks, and you nod, standing up. 

Before you can sit down however, he takes hold of your waist, pulling you into his lap. You yelp quietly, and he shushes you again, chuckling softly. You huff, cheeks burning as his arms wrap around you, burying his head into the crook between your neck and shoulder. 

He kisses you there, once, twice. You clear your throat, as much as you'd like to turn this into something else, you spilled far too much of your heart out for such. But, unfortunately, he doesn't take the hint. 

He keeps going, urgent, desperate. And all it does is reignite your initial anger. 

"Stop, stop, that's enough!" You push your hands into his chest, forcing him to stop. 

He meets your gaze, confusion in his expression and it puts you over the edge. 

You shake your head, cheeks burning in rage. "You can't just fix everything by distracting me, Sun. That's not how this is supposed to work. That's not how we're supposed to work. I just, did you even listen to a word I just said?"

"I, of course I did but—"

"But what? Why is it so hard to get through to you that I feel like nothing compared to you!?" Your voice raises louder than you meant it to. 

He takes a moment, then a sneer appears on his features. "Oh, don't kid yourself you and I both know that's not true."

"I, you think I'm joking? You think I'm not dead serious?" 

"It's a ridiculous notion. I'm not buying into it." He waves his hand, flippant. 

Your hands grip your head teeth gritted and tears pricking your eyes. "Sun, I feel like a parasite. Leeching off you and everything you give me. And while that might be the ideal relationship for you, it's fucking not for me."

The tears flow freely now, you let them. You sit there, in his lap at past 3 in the morning. crying like a baby. You just, you love him so, so much, but he just. won't. let. you. 

"Why can't you let me love you?" You sniffle out. "That's all I want. Just please, please let me love you. I can't say it anymore than this. This is all I have."

He hugs you then, tight, close as you can get. You can just barely make out murmured apologies against your shoulder. You can't tell if it makes your sniffling better or worse. 

Sun sighs, pulling back to look at you. His hand comes up to hold your chin wiping away a tear. His thumb pressing against your lips, as he shakes his head. "You know I love you, right?"

You nod. "I do. But do you know I love you too?"

"Of course I do." He's worried now, sitting forward. "I know, but I need to—"

You put your hand over his mouth, frown ever present on your face. "You give too much. To everyone. It's going to kill you one day, Sun."

Quiet. You wait for another smart quip, but it doesn't happen. 

"Do you think?" He asks, voice so small in that moment. 

It gives you pause, so you speak just as soft, gentle, encouraging. "I know how much you care. I really, really do. And I know how much you want to keep everyone safe, do your job, and so on. But you're only one man, Sun." 

Your thumb traces over his cheek, gaze focused on the twitch of his lips as he takes in your words. 

"It's... Hard. To set a limit. To find that point and draw the line. Because what if, when I do that, someone gets hurt? What if it's not enough? What if—" He cuts himself off, turmoil evident in his gaze. 

You press your lips to his then, pulling away after a moment. Though you don't ignore how he tries to follow after you. "You can't do everything, love. You, you can't save everyone."

His eyes widen then, but then he sighs. 

"I, I suppose you're right." He looks away from you then, but leans further into your touch. "That doesn't make it right, though."

You shake your head. "No, it doesn't."

You shift your grip then, hand moving to one of his rays, tracing patterns there. He groans, pressing against your hand, so you lift your other one to further your efforts. He practically melts into your touch. 

You continue your ministrations, and while you're at it, hum a quiet tune. You see the stress, the frustration, the conflict, disappear from him bit by bit. You feel it leave yourself as well. 

"You're quite good at this. Have a told you that before?" Sun questions, head now resting on your shoulder once more as you trace and press into his shoulders and back with your fingers. 

You chuckle. "A few times. Though, you seem to forget whenever I offer when we're not fighting."

"We do that a lot, don't we?" He mutters. "I'm sorry."

You click your tongue. "Takes two to tango, you know. I'm just as much at fault."

"Two to tango yes, but when one is dancing on the cliff's edge it doesn't help."

You scoff, but he continues. 

"I just, it's hard to give my trust to just anyone. I think you've noticed that by now. And it's not that I don't trust you it's just, I don't trust others. Or myself, for that matter." His hands, which had been resting on your waist, squeeze you slightly. "The others, I have to let it go and assume they'll be safe. Dazzle, I'm still working on it, I'll admit it. But you..." He trails off, grip not easing up in the slightest. 

You huff. "I know. I'm not fast enough. Not strong enough. I get it—" You're cut off by a smashing of his lips to yours, and he keeps you in place by moving his hands to hold you against him. You finally have to tap his shoulder to get him to pull away, gasping for breath for a moment. 

"It's not that at all." Sun shakes his head. "Not in the slightest bit. I never should have said that, done that. You just wanted to learn and I—I was afraid. And I let that fear get the better of me, took it out on you, when you're the one I want to protect."

His hands slip from your face then. 

"And I know, I know that you can protect yourself. You've proven that time and time again. You're brave, selfless, grounding, you keep me sane, truly. But I can't help but worry about what would happen if I lost you."

"You wouldn't lose me." You wrap your arms around his neck. "I'm much too stubborn to die."

Sun looks up to you. Then, he laughs, a full-bodied, true laugh. The likes of which you haven't heard in some time from him. 

He kisses you again, just a peck this time. 

"I suppose that's true, you are."

You chuckle, leaning your forehead against his.

Another pause. 

"I'll work on being more... open, to your help. And your touch. And you love." With each sentence he punctuate it with another kiss. "I promise."

You sigh, giggling. "I promise I'll be more open to you acting like a guard dog. Sometimes."

"Sometimes is enough."

💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

Hope you enjoyed Spine! And that you had a wonderful Valentine's ^^

Adding the tag list since it's writing stuff

@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8 @luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @milosmantis @robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva @juukai @crystalmagpie447 @mothgutz236 @lizyxml @divinit3a @amarynthian-chronicles @crystalfay @that-one-unknown-artist @rosescarletful @buzzybee3

[poisonf0rest]

Poison I keep seeing you mention a modern!Raf fic!!

Can we get some hints at the vibes we going for?👀

Oh of course, love! It's a reference to the headcanons I wrote a while back here, but in summary what I'll be expanding on are these:

For the "normal" AU I'm calling modern!AU, it'll be taking place in our current society instead of Linkon's futuristic one. Also there are no myths-- I'm thinking of Rafayel still having a tragic backstory since our histories make us who we are, but no Lemuria or fated lovers.

I definitely headcanon Rafayel being younger than the MC. She'd be 27, a full-time detective and he'd be 24 but a famous art protegee since 15 and has a horrible reputation for being impossible to work with, struck-up, arrogant, and a fuckboy.

But Rafayel insists he's the older one to everyone you meet. It drives you insane.

He canonically has a Mercedes Benz AMG Gran Turismo and Ferrari 250GT, but I think he has at least three sports cars.

It's not a symbol of wealth to him because, honestly, Rafayel simply doesn't check the price tags on anything-- if it's a beautifully designed car, suit, jewelry, or painting, he buys it without another thought.

And vice versa. If an expensive label offers to sponsor him but he hates the designer he'll refuse no matter what the pay is.

You meet modern!AU Raf after hooking up in a club or bar. You disappear the morning after mind-blowing sex that was just supposed to be stress relief, and Rafayel can't get you out of his head-- but he doesn't even know your name.

He makes paintings of hidden freckles on your body, of your blurry figure dancing in the dress you wore that night, of colors and swirls that remind him of your touch. The media goes crazy over this mystery woman who's taken over the famous artist's heart.

He has no reservations about calling you his muse and within hours the press is abuzz with speculation on this mystery person who has captured the artist's heart.

"Love? Yes, I'm in love with her."

You, on the other hand, are mortified. You try to forget about him and move on but cue a series of further coincidences and shenanigans that tie you and Rafayel closer and closer together.

More nasty stuff normal!AU would also consist of:

"stop following me" "but you're obsessed with me too" "i hate you" "fuuuck, say it again" rough, angry, denial sex either in your workplaces where rafayel definitely didn't stalk to find you and/or at the bathroom of his art exhibit

Paparazzi following the two of you and swarming the outside of rafayel's ferrari thank god for tinted windows as you see the flashes go off while riding raf in the driver's seat

After you lose a bet he'd definitely make you wear a vibrator and a lingerie set he picked out under a gorgeous dress obviously of his choosing too during his exhibit. The catch? Raf is sooo much more turned on at this then you are, so while you're subtly losing your mind at the low setting of the vibrator rafayel has a very, very obvious erection watching you in the middle of his event.

and when you scold him for making it so obvious? straight to a storage closet or bathroom.

One of your hookups would definitely be in a fancy ass hotel and you'd be getting busy in the morning only to be walked in on by room service delivering breakfast

There's a "breakfast in bed" joke somewhere there...

Raf also has a lot of piercings in this AU, at least nine on the ears and a tongue piercing too. I'm debating an eyebrow/lip? He seems like he would on a whim/if he got drunk enough while out on vacation somewhere completely random. He'd complain about the pain the whole time but in reality he just can't wait to tease you with it.

[wildymoon]

Why Hotguy (Probably) Isn't Possessed: A DDVAU Post

.... Or at least why it would be a bit biased to say that is the case right off the bat just cause the blorbo said something you really didn't like.

(NOTE: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR DDVAU) (Also the images I've used are all from the comic, go take a look either on Tumblr or Webtoons)

Part 1: Would This Face Lie To You?

Yes. Because everyone has the capacity to lie, and Scar canonically has a silver tongue. Look at 3rd Life and try to tell me otherwise. I will laugh at you.

But the difference is framing. In 3rd Life and nearly everywhere else this silver tongue of Scar's is used, it's in a silly white lie way at best and simply to win a game at worst. Hell, even in other works I've seen it's primarily used to benefit others, not himself.

For this reason (among others that vary from person to person that I won't elaborate on here cause that's complicated), it becomes much easier to believe that Scar here isn't acting normal. He's tapping into his cunning side with much more ruthlessness than we're used to seeing from him normally, and thus we grasp for any other option. Not only that, but the Motherspore Incident gives us the perfect excuse for his behavior, especially with what is said at the end.

Was the target truly Grian, or were they trying to get at Hotguy? We won't know for sure until later, but the idea of him getting possessed is something for the copium to take advantage of, and as such it does so.

(Even for me. I have almost an entire two-monitor screenshot in which I copypasted almost every detailed Hotguy face to analyze and make a decision based on the expressions compared to the latest volume. This I will get into in the part dedicated to his expressions and why they matter for both sides of the argument.)

Either way, assuming someone who is known for using that silver tongue of his to get what he wants isn't doing that of his own free will, even if it feels unkind or out of character at first glance, isn't exactly the smartest thing.

Part 2: The "Pragmatic" Approach Is Not Kind

Aka, "local utilitarian explains the logic behind being a dick in this scenario", or "devil's advocate except the supposed devil is just a blorbo getting into real blackmail".

So, let's first consider Hotguy's primary options for how he could've taken that interrogation, and their effects. I'll list these in order of action taken against Grian for simplicity's sake:

Leave Grian alone entirely. At first, this looks like the best option. Grian needs time to heal, and Hotguy just barging on in like that is stressful at best for someone who'd just been told he got possessed and tried to kill people. But this temporary peace would come with consequences. With no one to tell the public otherwise, Grian would likely get arrested for hiding his status as a mutant from the government. So this one is simply not worth it.

Reason with Grian. This is the option most likely expected from Hotguy before the page rolled around. It gives him a chance to exercise the softer side of his silver tongue a bit more, and is a significantly less aggressive way of trying to get the information he needs to protect the public. The issue with this is that Grian is not cooperative. He does not like Hotguy very much, and definitely would give as little information as he possibly can to what is basically a cop. "Everything you say can and will be used against you," and all that jazz. He's also pretty much immune to Hotguy's charm, so being niceys won't change that. Essentially, no matter what way he goes about it he's going to have to deal in something that Grian actually cares about.

Blackmail Grian. This is the choice Hotguy made, and he didn't sugarcoat it very much either. I'm thinking the reason he did could be related to how he knew simply reasoning with Grian wouldn't work; had he really gone in with the honeyed words, Grian would've told him to cut the bullshit even sooner. This, while more visibly putting Grian in a spot of bother, isn't actually that much more dangerous for him than the other options. I've already explained why the first option actually sucks, and the second option relies on Grian trusting Hotguy (which he doesn't). It also gives Hotguy two things simultaneously: information (his priority), and keeping his friend out of jail (so long as he cooperates, which he has). The second thing may or may not be important to him, but it's still an added bonus. This is the option in which Hotguy is guaranteed to get the most information about the incident.

Turn Grian in immediately. If you hadn't realized there was a worse option than 3 then surprise! There is! This is the option that I believe would actually be out of character for Hotguy. Even if he wanted Grian imprisoned for whatever reason, his priority would still be to get information, nothing else. And there's no guarantee Grian would tell absolutely anything in custody, let alone anything about the incident. It would take potentially blackmailing him here to do it, and that feels like a step too far. Hotguy only needs information, and he knows stigma too well to truly take part in it, especially if it probably won't net him what he needs. So, not that option either.

In all, Hotguy's choice was the only one that could truly get him the yield he wanted: information on the attack in hopes he could prevent any further ones. Do I think he went too far? Yes. Absolutely. He should've stopped with his threats the moment he stopped asking actual questions about the incident. There was no reason (in my opinion) to continue with them.

But for the most part, I believe this isn't a man possessed, just a cop seeking intel. Speaking of.....

Part 3: "Duty"

Sorry guys, superheroes funded by the government are technically cops. This makes Hotguy a cop. Your blorbo is a cop.

In all seriousness, Hotguy does in fact have a job, and as such it is his duty to protect the citizens of the city from the bad and such, blah blah blah. This includes Grian, since he was possessed by the bad and not the bad itself (as such that makes him a victim).

The question, however, remains. "How best does one protect an entire city?" I've answered this already with Hotguy's highest priority in the interaction with Grian: information. To get this information while protecting the most citizens, he must threaten or harm at least one no matter what he does. Because simple threats harm the least, his answer is to threaten two for the sake of maximizing the future harm reduced.

It is, once again, a utilitarian stance on things. But if your goal isn't to be strict to the rules, that's how choices should be made: Not with biases, but with thought given to all options and all those affected.

Now, does his duty state he should be that much of an ass? No, but I already went over this. "He made the best overall choice but he should've been more considerate." It doesn't get much simpler than that.

Part 4: Expression And Tone - The Other Argument

Here we go. This is what originally inspired the making of this post, as an argument for the side that claimed Scar was possessed.

The reason behind it? I'd noticed a significant shift in Hotguy's expressions even without going through each individual page. As someone who cannot read body language for shit usually, this was a pretty significant indicator that something was wrong for me.

Upon further inspection and reflection, this isn't quite the cause for alarm I'd thought it was, but it's still one of the better arguments for Scar being possessed so I'll elaborate.

Before the Motherspore Incident, each of Hotguy's expressions that were close enough to the camera to be drawn properly showed at least one eye through his visor. There is exactly ONE exception to this in my eyes, and even that one can fit in with my claim here: Hotguy's action shot in Chapter 7.

Here, the panel is big enough that if it was any regular panel it would likely show his eyes, but the visor is too small to really draw good eyes for the panel here, not to mention it would probably take away from the composition. But that's not what's important here; that honor goes to the fact that this is the only instance of a bigger panel in which Hotguy's eyes are not shown.

.... Up until Motherspore, that is.

Here, this makes sense: The eye in the first one would get in the way of the text, and in the second one his hair is covering his visor. The third is an action shot, similar to the one in Chapter 7. These make sense.

But then... something shifts once the fight is over and Hotguy carries Grian out. Once he reaches the outside, the amount of times we see his eyes, his expression? TWO.

Both are heavily simplified, with specific intent on making his expression clear on a small panel, but in every other panel from that point on in the chapter show him with the visor covering his expression.

And that's when we get into Chapters 14 and 15. This is when the shift becomes obvious. Instead of all his expressions on large enough panels showing at least one of his eyes, instead we're given almost the exact opposite.

This is the only. I repeat. The ONLY larger panel in which both his eyes are shown (when he has the visor on) since the end of Motherspore.

It's almost the only panel in the entirety of the chapter like that, but there's a singular smaller panel here with both his eyes:

That's it. Everything else has the way his expressions interacting with his visor the exact opposite way from the entire rest of the story so far.

This is why I thought he was, in fact, possessed at first. It was such a dramatic change that, when you don't consider the other reasons why this could be the case, it feels wrong. It feels like he could be possessed.

Especially if you consider this as related to it:

It just feels, if you compile everything together and build that argument, as something that could be plausible.

Plausible, not guaranteed. But plausible nonetheless.

But what could go against this? The tone.

Because, before Motherspore, this whole thing had a much more lighthearted tone. Hotguy had a much more lighthearted tone. Then he has to handle Motherspore. Then, the public, after a fight that made him require backup (true backup, unlike what we see from Cuteguy).

He puts on a mask to the public. That's what happened at the end of Chapter 13.

And then again, when facing Grian. He cannot slip up, cannot let Grian notice who he is or even consider it. He puts on a mask to ensure he can get what he wants safely. That's why we only see his eyes open behind his visor the one time, when Grian cannot look at his face.

He's taking a page from Cuteguy's book, in a way. Not the newest trick in any book, but I figure y'all'd like the connection.

Part 5: In Conclusion

Is Scar possessed? No, probably not. There's always a chance, but it's more likely that everyone got a bit blindsided by the cutthroat way Hotguy handled interrogations.

Remember that characters can make bad or mean decisions! Even if that character is meant to be a good guy, they still can make these choices, mistake or not. Sometimes, it's the best decision they can make. And sometimes, they just went about it in a way they probably shouldn't've.

Either way Hotguy's going to pay in spades by however Cuteguy's going to handle meeting him again, probably.

Bonus: All those copypasted Hotguy faces, for your enjoyment and my going bonkers insane

(There are no notes written down here because I am bonkers on the level that my brain moves too fast to type it all down.)

(ONCE AGAIN, the images I've used are all from the comic, go take a look either on Tumblr or Webtoons)

[ghostkingdiangelo429]

AHHH. I WANNA DO A FIC ON THIS NOW- I HAVE TOO MANY FICS TO WRITE GUHHH, HOW DARE YOU.

So anyways, I wrote it (in Nico's perspective, ofc)-

Just... Relax...

Jason, former praetor and legionnare. When Roman demigods hear his name, they imagine this perfect, beautiful soldier dedicated to respect an honor. But... in all actuality, he's just awkward. Through and through.

He never had the "Normal Teenage School" coming of age story. As a matter of fact, he had the "I Was Raised By A Literal Pack Of Wolves" coming of age story. I wish I was kidding.

He'd tell me stories of Lupa, the Wolf goddess who trained Roman Demigods before they entered into Camp Jupiter (or really any other Roman Encampment Center), and how she always kept her tight close, yet was so stern with her teachings. You either sank, or you swam in the pack. And Jason?

He swam faster and stronger than any of the others who were trained in her pack.

So, when I found Jason, I was almost expecting him to stand at attention... but no. He was slouching, almost weeping. I reach my hand to touch his shoulder, but I hesitated. "Hey, Grace... You okay?..." I settled.

Jason quickly turned around, very obviously crying. His movements were stiff, although his body was relaxed. He seemed to be more conflicted about his identity than the gods were... "O-oh! Hey, Nico, I uhhh... didn't- didn't see you there," He stuttered out. "Why are you here?"

His tone seemed defensive, but also scared. "I was here because Chiron asked me to get you, for something," I admitted. "But, I'll tell him that you're busy, alright?"

He didn't seem to like that. He stammered and stumbled to his feet. "What? Why?-" He said in a panicked tone. "If Chiron needs me, I'll gladly go to help-" I put my arm in front of him as he tried charging for the door.

"Look, Jason. You're overworked... tired... Everyone keeps asking you to do stuff, and you keep jumping up to your feet every chance you get," I said in a concerned tone. "You're not at Camp Jupiter anymore, you don't need or are expected to do or act the way you're supposed to at Jupiter- at Half-Blood, we know that people have their limits. We know not everyone can be perfect, so we have rules and policies in place to do things so we're not overworked or stressed by the time we need to do a mission or some shit." I slowly let my arm raise from in front of him, and he stayed put. "Listen, Grace, I get it.... you're not sure of where you fit in... trust me, I know that feeling more than any other camper here."

Jason grabbed his arm sheepishly as I continued. "I was born in the actual Rome during one of the demigod wars. Only to be stuck in a time chamber for nearly a hundred years, though I only felt as if only three had passed, just for Percy... and Thalia... And Annabeth and Grover to bring me to Camp Half-Blood where I knew I couldn't fit in...." I said in a soft tone. "No Hades kid could fit in socially and especially a Hades Greek kid born into a place where Roman culture with Roman gods were some of the only things I learned. Especially one that had internalized homoerotic feelings as bad due to the tome he grew up in."

"So I get it. Not fitting in," I said, trying to get my message across. "But I learned I can't do everything by myself, and I learned to relax. So please, just for me Jason... relax. Everything will be fine."

Jason stood there twitching, before bawling his eyes out. He threw his arms around me in a tight hug while his tears soaked the top of my head. That's how I knew he was a son of Zeus: he cried just like stormclouds emptying out themselves of rain.

When he finally let go of me, he said in a hoarse voice, "Thank you, Nico." He smiled, then cleared his throat. "Though, please don't tell anyone about this, I can't have Leo find out and clown on me for 'relaxing'."

I smiled back. "Secret's safe with me, Grace." He gave me one last hug, and off I went.

@kindred-spirit-93 enjoy this segue post while I try and finish rewriting chapter 3 of demigod :p

Jason Grace is awkward.

He's an amazing praetor, stern and serious and diplomatic. He's perfect at Latin, a great son of Jupter, making camp proud. Everything that Camp Jupiter needs him to be, the years of moulding a perfect soldier paid off.

But take him out of the environment of rules and regulation and neat and careful order then he is jsut an awkward mess.

His speech pattern is way too formal for a teenager, and he sucks at actually expressing emotions, so he just looks mean and judgy, and he always looks rigid and slightly scared. He's great and fighting, but everywhere is a battlefield for him. He also sucks at regualr empathy.He's afraid of loud noises, although he won't show it. He's a child soldier through and through and can not relax to save his life. He thinks that chores are fun. His favourite thing is ancient Rome. He knows so so so little about like the wider world and is so oblivious. He panics if anyone breaks the laws of New Rome, and there are a lot of laws in New Rome. He's so awkward. I need to write this.

[chocolatepot]

OFMD fandom, consider TGCF

Tian Guan Ci Fu is a Chinese light novel with an English translation published by Seven Seas Entertainment as Heaven Official's Blessing. You might not have heard of it, but chances are pretty good that you've heard of Mo Dao Zu Shi, adapted by Tencent into a tv series that aired on Netflix as The Untamed. ("Sexy Times with Wangxian", yes.) That's by the same author, Mo Xiang Tong Xiu!

For roughly the year before OFMD first aired, I was in MXTX fandom, more focused on MDZS than TGCF, although I'd read and liked both. Recently, though, I've come back to TGCF in a big way - doing a full reread - and a number of parallels to OFMD have been jumping out at me, making me think, hey, maybe my friends would like this?

Canon m/m romance that is the emotional backbone for the story

Lots of humor!

Main character from a high status background ...

... who is derided as a laughingstock by his high-falutin' peers and by people on the ground

Love interest who is widely believed to be the most powerful evil being in existence

Despite the obvious aesthetic differences, the MC and LI get each other on a level nobody else does

Also despite appearances, both MC and LI are very much not young and spend a long time alone before they meet

You could even say there's a "slyly complicated butch/femme dynamic" (a phrase from an old article about OFMD that always sticks in my head)

MC's kindness and attention to people considered "worthless" often help solve the problem

Okay, curious? I'll tell you about TGCF in more detail behind the cut.

(I do want to be clear here, I'm stressing these points of similarity but these two canons are not The Same - I'm just saying, if these are aspects of OFMD that really resonated with you, you should think about giving TGCF a try!)

Okay, if you haven't really heard of MXTX novels before, I assume you might not be familiar with a lot of the genre conventions, so I'll step way back. TGCF is xianxia, which is a type of fantasy where people can gain powers and eventually ascend to immortality/godhood; in some xianxia books, the process of gaining or using those powers is the point, but here it's really just background for the story. These powers are gained through "cultivation", which can be a combo of meditation and martial arts practice. People who die are either reincarnated or turn into ghosts, depending on how much resentment they have going on.

The first volume opens with a prologue explaining that Xie Lian was a handsome and popular prince who ascended at seventeen; when his kingdom was beset with war and famine, he came back to help the populace but was unsuccessful. As a result, they burned his temples and stopped worshipping him, and he was also banished from the heavens with his powers cut off. Having to live as a penniless normal person (but still immortal) was some Real Bad Times, and when he ascended again, angrily, he was banished again. This time, he went back down and lived peacefully but in destitution as a wandering busker and scrap collector for several centuries. And then he ascended a third time.

That's where the story picks up! Xie Lian is now a god again and everyone appears to either hate him or think he's incredibly pathetic. He starts off in trouble by accidentally causing a lot of property damage, and to repay it he's sent to solve a mystery: brides in wedding processions that go by a particular mountain are being kidnapped. Part of his investigation involves dressing up as a bride as bait for the "ghost groom", and this is where the reader gets their first sight of Hua Cheng, taking bride!Xie Lian's hand and briefly guiding and protecting him. After the mystery is solved, Xie Lian finds out that the man who seemed very kind and attractive to him is actually a ghost who defeated and destroyed thirty-three gods - he's the ruler of Ghost City, someone everyone is terrified of.

I'm not going to go further into the plot because there are some big central mysteries that are so fun to uncover as you go, and I don't want to deprive you of that! But as the story goes on, Hua Cheng is involved more and more, and the adorable thing that I think will appeal to OFMD fans is the way everyone else is really concerned by AHH OH NO HUA CHENG while Xie Lian always feels safe with him. (And by the same token, Hua Cheng is always impressed with Xie Lian despite the way everyone else thinks he's obviously the crummiest god that could possibly exist.) There's also a lot of resonance with s1 of OFMD in the way that Hua Cheng, let's just say, has been following Xie Lian's ship before arranging a meeting, and also is well aware of his feelings for Xie Lian while the latter is considerably more confused.

The full translation has been pulled from the web as its translator collab'd with Seven Seas, but you can find some other people's translations of the earlier chapters still online via NovelUpdates. If this all sounds interesting to you but you're not sure about buying or can't find it through your library system, I'd recommend checking that out (although be aware that free translations are sometimes ... real bad, just run through Google Translate).

My last point, not really aimed at OFMD fans: I feel like a lot of people who say that canon queer romance can never match up to the fanon surrounding queerbait need to get into BL! It has a very fanfiction sensibility, all the drama and yearning and sex you could want. (Well, this one doesn't actually have sex in it. But in the MDZS extras Wei Wuxian has a canonical non-con kink, so.)

[demmywolf]

Spookysweetober Day 1: cookies

[bonefall]

wait, why can’t a decent amount of the members in proto-thunderclan not hunt?

A lot of them have serious physical disabilities! It's enough that it poses a logistical problem, which they are committed to overcoming together.

Thunder Storm's three legs makes him slower than his companions. He's ferociously powerful, but like a male lion, he has to rely on his "lionesses" to slow a large animal.

Bright Storm has asthma from her heroics trying to save SkyClan cats from a fire. She's taking that from Gray Wing, who is famously the first major death now. Like her son, she has a difficult time with chasing prey.

Bumble is dyspraxic. She's a terrible hunter and fighter and struggles with self-worth because OTHERS used it to dehumanize her, and continues to, even after an entire society forms out of love of her.

Sunlit Frost has permanent nerve damage in his arm from the fire, and ends up working so hard that it makes his disability worse. A bite on the good paw from Snake becomes infected after he refuses to sit out from digging graves after the First Battle; I am planning a chunky B-plot about Sunlit coming to terms with the fact he has to retire early.

That's FOUR major members of a small group with physical disabilities that make hunting hard or impossible. They have a lot of logistical problems that I will actually be exploring solutions to.

[danieyells]

?????? Why did he tell me everything was fine if my insurance requires me to have been on hormones for 2 years to approve the procedure. . .why didn't he say they won't approve it if that wasn't the case. . .is that outdated information???? Maybe we can lie????

Am i seriously about to have all of my fucking hype crushed???? Maybe I can convince my doctors to lie for me or we can say I was doing it DIY for a few years. People ask how long I've been on hormones a lot because my voice is pretty deep and I look pretty masculine surely we could get away with this???

I feel really fucking beaten down now. Why not stop the discussion and go 'hey they require X amount of time on hormones'. . .I really hope I can convince my providers to fudge the truth for me a little or i'm going to lose my mind i seriously don't know how well i'm going to take it if i can't get this done???? Like I already feel so anxious at the thought. Please everything about me needs this. I am going to go fucking insane if this can't happen this year.

[yaoi-hate-machine]

auughhhhh i feel rly anxious and i need to get this somewhat out of my head. cw breast cancer screening

ok so i have an appt scheduled at planned parenthood tomorrow bc i found a lump under my armpit and there is history of breast cancer in both sides of my family. and first of all i need to call them tomorrow bc i forgot that when i scheduled the appt online it said they didn't accept my insurance even though i've literally been to planned parenthood before and my insurance website says they're covered? so i have to fucking call them and idek if i'm going to end up having the appt. which is stressful on its own

but also there is the factor of being TransgenderedTM and not really knowing if whatever doctor i might see will be trans-competent or if it will be a deadnaming + "girl power!!!" situation. plus just. yk. having anyone see and feel my fucking titties who i'm not fucking is like. strange and unnerving. and there is Also the factor of having sexual trauma so having anyone see and feel my fucking titties who i'm not fucking (and sometimes even who i Am fucking!!!!) is EXTRA strange and unnerving!!!! also idk if i would just be having some kind of exam or if i would be having a mammogram or if they even Have the ability to do a mammogram or if they would just be like Yup that's a lump [insert thumbs up emoji bc i'm typing this in an anxiety-fueled rage on my computer] have fun!

idk man i'm justreally really anxious abt this and it's making it worse not actually knowing if it's happening or not or if i'll have to make one billion calls around to find somewhere else to go or if i'll have to wait like 2 months to see someone back home in which case the cancer will have spread to my entire body and killed me and i also won't have insurance. basically i should just die anyway bc this all seems like way too much stress and way too complicated and maybe i should just not see a doctor about it and just simply keel over and die [insert another thumbs up emoji for good measure]

[equalperson]

I fucking hate being traumatized because why am I bawling the hardest I've bawled in god-knows-how-long because someone I didn't even like that much berated Me. gasping wailing trembling and snotting over this for several minutes.

[lost-technology]

I don't know when I'm going to have the energy to do my Trigun fanwork, so just a heads up if I am a bit pokey-slow on it. I... happen to also be in the American Politics fandom and it's a pretty horrible fandom right now. (This because I happen to live here, cannot afford to escape / have no way otherwise of escaping). We've just hit despair-levels surpassing the Couch Scene. *Sigh.*

[mypeggableromance]

.

[darabeatha]

/ Okokokiedokiearchiedokie I'll be trying to cut back to my regular fate shenanigans to not flood up the dash, but thank u all for entertaining the silliness even when we are not in april's fools OITRUOTURTU

[sysig]

Gotta sweep up all this Dust (Patreon)

[shiryawashere]

you ever miss your comfort character so bad you gotta go outside about it