#and i'll never have it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

servuscallidus · 1 year ago

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I need to have sex but like metaphorical sex. Sex that technically isn't sex but also clearly is

#like that thing you guys love with fingerfucking Christ's wound but the person needs to also stab me first #or I need to be the one doing it #either way. something else completely works fine too but Christ #and I'll never have it #kink doesn't scratch the same itch #personal #I need it now and I need it loud and so on

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shitty-check-please-aus · 1 year ago

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What we need to do is convince all the disney adults in america that high speed rail would be a preferable way of getting to disneyworld compared to driving or flying. We could maybe harness their fondness for the monorail or something, but this is a group of people that has time, income, and passion that we could leverage. If we could direct 5% of the enthusiasm they have for limited edition popcorn buckets into calling their representatives and demanding high-speed interstate rail, we could get it by 2030

#at this point I don't care whether rail is privately or publicly funded #I'll ride the Mickey Mouse Express if it means not having to drive or fly everywhere #if you're on the disneyland side of the country I just don't have as strong a grasp on your psychology as a demographic #but I went to school with some twice a year disneyworld people #if you are a disney adult and you're reading this please don't take it as an insult #I don't think it comes off that way but you never know

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 1 month ago

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main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:

michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club

*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***

that's it that's the movie

outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative

actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.

aka Michael Myers Is A Republican

but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too

also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain

side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty

i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978

(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)

oh no he's hot

#HALLOWEEN #halloween the movie #michael myers #do you think he's a mike? mikey? to his friends? if slashers had friends?#i'll be honest i was expecting this movie to be way more of a bitch to its female characters #i mean yeah they died but so did some dudes #there's just a lack of cattiness compared to the way most later movies portrayed teenage girls idk #yeah the Final Girl is a Virgin and a Bookworm. but there's no bullying or any strong sense that's she's morally superior to everyone else #mostly she AND the other girls feel a bit sorry for her lack of a social life. one even tries to set her up with a date to the school dance #solidarity! trying to get your nerd friend laid!#overall it's just teenagers being teenagers and then a slasher comes in and ruins everything with his Lack Of Chill #like yeah dude sometimes teenagers have sex. get over it #also something to be said about how while the girl who survives is the one who isn't sexually active and dresses conservatively...#ultimately those things aren't ENOUGH to prevent her from being targeted #you could say that the other girls 'provoked' the villain (the same way women irl are so often accused of provoking their attackers)#but ultimately that doesn't keep the Final Girl safe. it just delays the inevitable.#because violent men never need excuses. no matter how eager society is to provide them.#ultimately she is at the mercy of the same violent whims because it was never her behavior that invited the violence.#gendered violence doesn't need an invitation.#also she doesn't save herself the doctor saves her #it's not her actions or choices that put her in danger OR save her from it--once again it is the whim of a man #no this wasn't intended to be a feminist movie it's just fun how you could argue it that way

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crispyliza · 5 months ago

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Fanfiction in the late 2000s-early 2010s was wild bc you'd find a beautifully written story with the most compelling heart-wrenching plot you've ever seen and the author's note would be like:

Author with a username like ~SasukesWaifuxD~ : Ohayo gozaimasu! ↖(^▽^)↗, I'm sowwy it took me so long to update (๑•́_•̀๑)

tsundere twink from their fic : It was about damn time you idiot (눈‸눈)

~SasukesWaifuxD~ : Hey now! It's not my fault the plot bunnies kept wunning away fwom me (╥﹏╥)

tsundere twink: W-watever, it's not like I missed you or anything (💢,,>﹏<,,) b-baka!

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egophiliac · 5 months ago

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WAIT when did he get FANGS

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #brushie brushie #i thought i was imagining it but i have compared screenshots and it is true #they gave him a bunch of new animations and just decided to throw some fangs in there too!#unless this is an earlier thing i just missed because i don't pay attention (very possible)#anyway i decided to do one last ten-pull and THERE HE WAS #and his personal story is SO unexpectedly cute oh my gosh #at any given moment crewel is thinking about how much he misses his dog(s)#it is CANON #canon like the fangs (why) (i'm not complaining i just want to KNOW)#get you a fandom where they randomly and with no explanation give a character fangs I GUESS #anyway thank you sensei for validating the mountain of keys i threw into the void for you #i'd assumed he'd duo with grim so it is unfortunate that it turned out to be with a card i don't have and will probably never get 🙃#but it is VERY funny actually that he duos with crowley so i'll forgive him #the only funnier character would be jack #OR NO WAIT actually leona #'which character would be the funniest to --' the answer is always. ALWAYS. leona

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hotcinnamonsunset · 7 months ago

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🎣lure me in, baby!

#knitting #wip #knitblr #pattern is Lure Me In on Ravelry🐠#all of this started because I reblogged a photo set of fishing lures on here and immediately was taken aback by the sheer amount of fishing #wordplay there is out there. like. reel me in here if I get carried away. catch and release me if nothing else. i'll never stop baiting you #anyways! fun details! a return of the fibonacci spaced waves on the sleeves my signature fav. stitches that look like fish along the raglan #and fishing lure colorwork designed by yours truly who has only been fishing once in her life and was ultimately just as thrilled digging u #worms for bait because I sure as heck didn’t have sick fishing lures like these😅#fish art

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nosnexus · 4 months ago

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This is what it's like having a wife cooler than you

#dimension 20 #d20 #dimension 20 fanart #never stop blowing up #d20 nsbu #my art #It's done and Lucy's hair continues to be the bane of my existence #I'll have to up my game with the composition next time

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nyaslashthreat · 1 year ago

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shout out to when i told my dad about goncharov and he figured out it was fake because i told him "1973 martin scorsese film with robert de niro" and he said that wasn't possible because the godfather came out in 1972 and the godfather part II came out in 1974 and they wouldn't have had time to make a movie in between. a perfectly good jest, foiled by this man's weird and vast knowledge set

#edit i remembered this incorrectly #i confused robert de niro with al pacino he was actually what tipped my dad off #i'll be honest i've never seen the godfather? the only mafia movies i've watched are goodfellas and 1996 lesbian masterpiece bound #so i'm not really familiar with the genre lol #EDIT AGAIN IF ANYONE CARES: I HAVE SEEN GODFATHER PART I AND II NOW. I KNOW HOW WRONG I WAS. WHY DID THIS GO UP 500 NOTES IT'S BEEN MONTHS #goncharov #goncharov 1973 #eddie genius posting

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ionomycin · 5 days ago

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heartblood

#artists on tumblr #blood #organ #the first one is actually a redraw of an old piece #from 2019 #i should do redraws more often honestly #there were some cool concepts #that i didn't have the skills to execute back then #i hope years from now i'll look at my art from today #and think the same #i want to keep growing for as long as i live #becoming the best artist i can be #it often feels like it'll never be enough #like there's artists of such incredible unreachable skill #but then i remember almost all of us feel that way #those artists probably too

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notyoujamie · 7 months ago

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My children. My screams. I could not save you, little ones. Such pain. And yet, still, still I am not brave enough to die, to let go of this wretched life. I will endure, but no more babies. I cannot, will not, suffer such heartbreak again. From now on, it's me against the world.