#and i'd have to think abt it much much more
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toxic till the end
·˚ ༘ ꒱ genre angst
·˚ ༘ ꒱ warnings toxic relationship, emotional abuse, attachment issues, neglect and abandonment, self-doubt, manipulation, codependency
·˚ ༘ ꒱ song inspo toxic till the end - rosé
·˚ ༘ ꒱ a/n never in my life did i think that i'd write down those warnings- but this song was stuck in my head for so long i had to write smth abt it :')
his favorite game is chess, who would ever guess?
you like to reminisce about the times when you played chess together – the concentrated look on his face as his hair covered his eyes. that look would always stay in your head for the remainder of the day after you (horribly) lost your little match as always. there are no hard feelings though, it's all fun and games in the end.
playing with the pieces in my chest
"not now, y/n. i have to do something important." he'd tsk as you removed yourself from the (one-sided) hug. "okay..." you almost mumbled inaudibly. he let out a small sigh and quickly mentioned that he'd make it up to you soon. that's how it always was, after all.
now he's on the screen, saying 'don't leave'
"y/n, don't do this to me—to us. just come back home and we'll talk this out." you read the text over and over. how could you come back? it felt like a never-ending cycle from love to pain. at first, he'd always act like the oh-so-perfect boyfriend you fell in love with. but then it's like a rock hits his head and in the blink of an eye—he acts cold towards you. why should you return to the "love of your life" if he keeps breaking your heart?
you stole that line from me, 'cause you're just jealous and possessive
"who are you talking to?" it was as if he suddenly appeared out of thin air to check the reason why you were laughing so hard. "uhm, just my friends... why?" you'd awkwardly answer. "nothing... let's go for a stroll in the park for now." any thoughts of doubt you had were immediately thrown out the window as you let out a small smile. it's been a long time since you both hung out together, so why not enjoy yourselves?
so manipulating, honestly, impressive
"i recommend you try this one—it's one of our best sellers!" an employee suggested to you. "well, i think you should try this one." your boyfriend handed you another item. in all honesty, you preferred the employee's pick more than his, but... it wouldn't hurt to try it, you supposed. seeing the look on your face, he immediately added, "do you not trust me, love?" your eyes immediately widened a bit. "huh? of course i do! you know what, let's just take your recommendation and leave, yeah?" the poor employee nervously looked between the two of you, unsure if he was intruding or not.
you had me participating
"come on, it wouldn't hurt to try?" he'd chuckle a bit as he saw the nervous look on your face. out of all the things you could do together, it just had to be skateboarding. "but wouldn't it get annoying if i fall?" you hesitantly asked. after all, you've never touched a skateboard in your life. and again and again, he'd tell you, "nonsense. i'm here." he really liked playing with your heartstrings, didn't he?
back then, when i was running out of your place
you like to think of yourself as a patient person. and that meant that between the two of you, you were definitely the more easygoing one in this relationship. although in this moment, it certainly didn't seem like it. "how could you forget our anniversary!?" you were beyond mad—maybe even livid. today marked another year of putting up with... this. he stayed silent. sometimes, you wonder if he ever cared about this day as much as you did since he always seemed to forget it. today seemed like the world had everything against you. from getting up late because the stupid alarm didn't do its job, leading to you falling down the stairs from being in such a hurry, preparing each other's lunch, arriving late to your destination and getting scolded for it, and finally, this? there's only so much a person can take. without uttering a single syllable, you grabbed the keys to your car, avoiding eye contact with the "only one who'd understand you."
i said, 'i never wanna see your face'
i meant, 'i couldn't wait to see it again'
not long after, you found yourself walking in the rain, back to your shared apartment after taking a stroll in the park, all alone. even though you were mad at him, you couldn't really blame him. 'he was always stressed during this time... he probably didn't notice the date then... so it was... my fault?' drenched in cold water, you unlocked the door quietly, noticing a dimly lit candle with a small gift next to it. "you're back." he said while leaning on the bedroom door. it's almost as if he predicted you'd come back at this time. oh right... this always happens. "well, get cleaned up. i'm heading to bed." you left to the bathroom in a hurry. you hated this endless cycle the two of you seemed to have, yet at the same time, you didn't want to leave him. you loved him too much. maybe you can sort things out in the morning? love conquers all... doesn't it?
we were toxic till the end
— rin, sae, kaiser, ness, nagi, reo
© txrully
( do not republish, translate, copy or plagiarize my works )
note. some characters are ooc bc... well i did 6 characters in one ☠️😭
#bllk#rin itoshi#itoshi rin x reader#rin x reader#rin itoshi x reader#bllk rin#bllk rin x reader#seishiro nagi#nagi seishiro#bllk nagi#nagi seishiro x reader#nagi x reader#seishiro nagi x reader#itoshi sae#sae itoshi#bllk sae#sae x reader#itoshi sae x reader#bllk kaiser#michael kaiser#kaiser x reader#michael kaiser x reader#bllk michael kaiser#alexis ness#bllk ness#ness x reader#alexis ness x reader#bllk reo#reo mikage x reader#mikage reo
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hanahaki au. but the disease/curse is built so that if its strong enough it'll like, give symptoms to whoever is the cause of the thing in the first place.
jason has hanahaki. his hanahaki is caused by his self hate, and jealousy. he's deep deep down envious of dick. he wants to be loved so, so badly. he wants to have a family. and yet he was betrayed. the bats dont like or trust him. he hates himself so so much.
and the hanahaki seizes him then. making him cough up blue flowers (im unsure which yet, this is just like base idea)
its so strong that *dick* coughs up flowers - marigolds. and he's like. wtf. he contacts and talks to raven abt it who tells him the curse isn't within him - whoever that flower represents is the one dying right now. and dick being dick finds out its jason and tries to save him. he tries to like. hang out with jason more. he tries to be there for him. and jason is aggresive and annoyed and finally ends up coughing up bloody flowers and dicks like please, jay. you know i love you. and jasons like. no, you don't. not in the way i need you to.
what jason means; you don't love who i am now, you love the dead kid i was. you don't trust me now. you wish i was still dead and that i'd never come back to life.
what dick *Thinks* jason means: i'm in love with you, but i know you see me as only a brother and that you can't reciprocate.
and dick thinks to himself "oh god. jasons in love with me." and decides then and there, that he's gonna beat the curse into the ground with the affection that jason needs, because the curse will "wilt" away if it's tricked into thinking the love is returned. he's gonna have to act like an interested lover, he thinks, or else jason will die.
he starts out slowly. initiating more body contact. he has to be slow or else jason will realise whats going on and then he might die quicker. it takes him weeks but jasons drunk and they're together drinking and dick kisses him, pretending to be drunk (he's tipsy but nowhere near as drunk as jason is) and jasons like ? dickie? what're you...doing? we- you shouldn't do this, we shouldn't- we're siblings- and dicks like shh sh it's okay jaybird, i got you it's okay
they kiss but it turns into making out and dick *loathes* that he can just do that while jason is all blushing and kinda innocent/confused, that he can do this to his *Brother* - and jasons like you cant be serious, you want to- to have sex? with *me*? and dicks like well, if you want to. we can also not. and jasons like why would you want to do that with me. we're siblings. and dicks like "you're a crimelord, jason" and jasons like yeah but also have you seen me? im more scar tissue than flesh. i have a pussy, im big and hairy and-
and dick hasn't looked at jasons body naked like that. he hasn't studied him. he couldn't bring himself to. and jasons still like. going on about how he doesn't understand how anyone, much less golden boy dick grayson, could look at him and see something attractive. and dick feels so, so guilty abt doing this but he can't stop, he has to keep going to save jason's life.
in the smut scene it's like... dick is trying to tell jason he's gorgeous and what not bcs it doesnt sound like jason has a lot of confidence, which is a surprise to him, and instead of letting himself think too much about it, he.. hotdogs? him is that the term, and jasons just flushed and pliant and needy and dicks like... i got condoms and lube... if you want to? and jason says ok. but uh. i dont know what im doing.. im..ive never done this. before. so, uh. yeah. and dick screams inside himself at the fact he's taking his little brother's virginity but outside just nods and assures jason its okay, they're safe here this is okay-
i havent decided yet if this is purposeful or not but the condom is broken. and jason ends up getting knocked up. and dick is so confused bcs the curse should be done but it's *not*-
and he realises...
he may... not have any idea about who jason is. because red hood, the man he thought he knew, is a dramatic, extremely talented fighter & assassin who is cunning and a masterplanner, self assured and a hardass.
but the drunk jason was just a mess of self-hate and maybe- maybe the curse isn't because he's in love with dick, but because he's in love with what dick *has*, because jason hates himself and dick-
dick just fucked his little brother and he may or may not have fucked their entire relationship up.
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HEYEY! glad to see more people into vat7k!!! Would you mind sharing more of the insight n what your perceptions of the characters are? I saw your post about Hugo n Var as well as the involvement with Nuru in the tags and was wondering!!! No pressure ofc <3 also love your art it's REALLY AWESOME !
hi! thank you so much :] im rlly glad ur interested... as new as i am to this story and world i'm still ironing out my own opinions and headcanons and ideas so everything is in a rough place atm but i'd love to talk about what i Do have right now ^^
i'm sort of operating under the idea of what this would look like if it were a tv show rather than a comic only for the sake of structure and me being able to visualize it haha. doesnt mean anything beyond that.
i love the idea of there being 7 kingdoms, 7 alchemic laws, and 7 "lessons" for the characters to learn and id probably divide it through 3 seasons with the last season focusing on either 2 or 1 (heavy emphasis on what would be the "library arc") and allocating the extra "arcs" to s1. but anyways
mainly i like the idea of like. each of the group getting a chance to shine an equal amount. obviously they'd all have something to gain from every lesson but imo id put a particular emphasis on them all getting 2 each to hammer home their development and experiences. i havent ironed out who learns what and its not like...an exact science rn so thats a work in progress
nuru is interesting to me in particular bc i think theres a notable position she is in being a princess and wanting to be hands on. for her character particularly i feel like its important she be able to learn how to care for her subjects and hone the skills she needs for the responsibility she has but also allowing herself to understand herself as a person and an individual without having to sacrifice her duty to her people and her community. too many times i see in media where a character has this huge responsibility and they have to learn to care about and understand Themselves first and while thats important i feel like its not always possible or feasible and also it's hard. it's rlly hard to grapple with both of those things at the same time. and nuru being a princess she Wants to help her people. she Wants to have the responsibility to care for them but she still must learn what that will look like for her specifically and how she can be that person she wants to be without phoning it in or anything.
with yong i saw it was mentioned he has a huge loving family that supports him and wants to see him succeed, but he's just sort of wild and unpredictable in ways i think varian can relate to from when he was younger. there's nothing really "wrong" with yong, but he has to understand and learn balance and control where he struggles with it and that he can be the person he wants to be but there has to be instances where he takes his time and understands that progress isnt linear. which gives varian a good place to act as an older brother figure obviously bc thats shit he himself learned in tts lol
varian's arc Kind of began and ended in tts so i just see vat7k as a way of expanding on stuff he already has learned yet not rlly like. rehashing stuff he should already know
hugo is a little trickier for me bc i think there are a Lot of similarities he shares narratively with eugene (which makes sense given that he was said to have been acquainted with eugene in the past, at least somewhat). they're similar but they're not the Same, so i wouldnt want hugo to just be repeating the same beats that eugene already learned. in my opinion hugo is smug and he thinks somewhat highly of himself, but hes not a bragger. hes not snarky nor will he actively antagonize the group. what reason would he have to? he wants them to like and trust him and i dont rlly see that happening if hes always being a jerk to them haha.
thats all i got for now i think but feel free to ask me abt more stuff if ur interested : )
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mini oscillo ref aahh what EVERRR dies @superbellsubways @cephalonheadquarters
#slowly trynna draw our virtual guys again i miss them so much...#virtual assistants#ocs#rico art#oscillo#more virus stuff and the armies i guess. they all have a unit number if theyre recruited by a formal virus leader w actual power#most viruses r more commonly just stragglers at least in. my head they are#for now theres. 2 main types? viruses that come from virus matter#and viruses that are just.. like that HAHAHA#the idiot twins r a good example of both i guess? theyre comprised of virus matter but more put together than how it usually presents itsel#the way virus matter can properly survive is by taking over an electronic it can live without a host but its much more weak and vulnerabl#without a shell ya feel me#UHHH FEEL FREE TO LIKE. ADD STUFF THIS IS MOSTLY JUST BRAIN GOOP AHHH#i would go on but idk how to properly explain things.. i eventually wanna make a big old post abt it but idk how many people would actually#be interested lol#and i'd have to think abt it much much more#anyways ysaaa
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debate
(topic: how many and what configuration of kids do they give off vibes of having (either at present or in the future)(partner is irrelevant in most cases, some could be single parents for all i care))
#the blue tier should be 'two or more' my bad#all tiers make no difference between adopted and biological kids with the obvious exception of the ones exclusively abt adopted kids#basically all of the tiers above could be adopted too it doesn't matter#the ones in the young category don't necesarily all give off vibes of having no kids#more that i can't picture it but it's not bc of personality. it literally is just bc they look too young#like obv most characters on the younger side outside of that tier are under the assumption that the kid appears in the future#but the young tier is just i am incapable of deciding bc i can't look at their face and my perceived age of them and reach a decision#hu tao is the exception i just cannot see her having kids#this is also assuming they'd all be decent parents. doesn't mean those in the no kids tier are there bc they'd be bad parents tho#heizou lovers feel free to give your hc i just don't know who your man is lmao#yall get done so dirty by the game#like tbh i'd put him in the no kids tier but i am aware i know very little of him so. erring on the side of caution here#honestly alhaitham could be in the one girl category also now that i think about it. nb kid for that man specifically#there are some characters y'all won't be able to convince me otherwise but like. i'm curious anyway#the parentheses are the reasoning for the choice not necesarily their actual kid obviously#the natlan gang is up in the air. kinda confident abt the mualani choice but kinich? not so much#realistically i could see plenty of them not having any kids but decided to keep the no kids tier as empty as possible in the interest of#y'know actually thinking about it. the ones there are bc i simply couldn't see it. ganyu and sethos are on thin ice tho
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So we know that Wei Wuxian's treatment after his death was horrible. Even if nothing could impact him directly, there was still neverending slander, hatred, misinformation, theft...
But, for a while after he died, the sects did try to impact him directly – namely, frequently trying to resummon his soul. And today I'll explore the possible reasons for this, their likelihoods, and why I'm so, so thankful that Wei Wuxian's soul managed to resist the summons. Because, spoiler alert (or, you know. maybe not)... none of them are good.
(Long meta ahead)
In my opinion, there are four likely motivations for this: confinement, coercion, torment, and potentially destruction.
Out of all of these, confinement is probably the most likely motivation, at least for most sects (Jins and Jiangs excluded, though it was likely what the Jin sect said their motivations were – but I'll get to them later). This one is the most simple – we know spirit-trapping pouches exist, and we know the sects also placed 120 stone beasts on the Burial Mounds to prevent Wei Wuxian's soul from escaping. Therefore, this seems to be the most likely motivation – and fortunately for Wei Wuxian, probably also the best case scenario, though it still certainly isn't a good one.
For the second, coercion – this is where the Jin sect come in (more specifically Jin Guangshan with the help of Jin Guangyao). Due to their wealth and resources, they're likely the sect who played the largest role in the soul-summoning rituals. We know what they're willing to do to try to gain power – keeping Wen Ning under the pretence he was burned to death and trying to control him with the nails, and working with and helping Xue Yang torture people to help him refine his demonic cultivation, in order to have the Yin hufu fixed. Along with working with many other cultivators, alongside Xue Yang – Jin Guangshan really, really wanted that seal.
And so, Jin GuangShan sought after all those who imitated Wei WuXian in cultivating the ghostly path and gathered them under his rule. He spent a great amount of money and resources and these people, ordering them to study and analyze the structure of the Tiger Seal in secrecy so that they could replicate and restore it. - Villainous Friends extra, EXR
(Note that working with these cultivators very likely happened after Wei Wuxian's soul had failed to be summoned, since this happens some time after Wei Wuxian's death, whereas the soul-summoning ceromonies presumably started happening very close to it.)
In the previous paragraph, he's also quoted as having 'lusted after' the Yin hufu, which we already knew but it's nice to have a direct quote as evidence.
Now, would Wei WuXian willingly work with the Jin sect in doing this? No. We know that, and, given Wei Wuxian's actions in his first life (refusing to hand over the Tally, not being afraid to stand up to the sects, etc), I’m pretty sure Jin Guangshan knows that, too:
He beat around the bush a couple of times, using all his skills, yet Wei WuXian didn’t give in no matter what, and it made him run into a bunch of obstacles. - Villainous Friends extra, EXR
So this could actually make things go two ways. One, I'm wrong and that wasn't actually part of the Jin sect's motivations, since they know they wouldn't be able to control him (and in that case, had they managed to summon him, I could imagine them putting him in a spirit-trapping pouch and doing something similar to what Jin Guangyao did to Nie Mingjue's head. Which, also, not good). Two, it was a part of their motivations, and they hoped to find a way around that. After all, there are other guidao users out there now, and Wei Wuxian would now be a gui*. Also, cultivators can obviously harm ghosts – see the very existence of Night Hunts, and I'd include Xue Yang's talisman-caused destruction of A-Qing as well (while he isn't a traditional cultivator, talismans can be used by everyone).
Now, would either of these methods actually work? I'm inclined to think not really (and I expand on the former method in a note below). Would that stop Jin Guangshan/Jin Guangyao/the cultivators they employ from trying? Especially considering Jin Guangshan's lust for power?
I'm inclined to think no, too.
For the third, look no further than Jiang Cheng's reputation of capturing and torturing demonic cultivators after Wei Wuxian's death, due to thinking they could be him. And this does happen – Jin Ling knows and talks about it, and there's not real motivation for him to negatively lie about someone he loves. Also, when they come across each other at Dafan Mountain, we're told this in Jiang Cheng's inner voice:
A moment ago, Jiang Cheng was certain that this person was Wei WuXian, and all of the blood in his body started to boil. Yet, now, Zidian was clearly telling him that he wasn’t. Zidian definitely wouldn’t deceive him or make a mistake, so he quickly calmed himself and thought, this doesn’t mean anything. I should first find an excuse to take him back and use every possible method to get information out of him. It’s impossible for him to not confess anything or give himself away. I’ve done things like this in the past anyways. - MDZS Chapter 10, EXR translation
This mainly shows that he's tortured people before, rather than that he's tortured people because he thinks they're Wei Wuxian, but this reason is confirmed by Jin Ling in Chapter 24. Of course, the reason is also mentioned in this chapter, and there are other moments in the chapter that illustrate my point better**, but they come from second-hand sources which I know are easier to deny. Do take note of Jiang Cheng's expression both times he comes across 'Mo Xuanyu' (after he suspects he's Wei Wuxian) in Book One***, though:
After a moment, the corners of Jiang Cheng’s lips pulled into a twisted smile. His left hand started to unconsciously stroke the ring [Zidian] again. He spoke softly, “… Well, well. So you’re back?” - Chapter 10, EXR Although his face had always been clouded, marked with arrogance and satire, it seemed as if every corner of it had come alive. It was difficult to determine whether it was vengeful wrath, fathomless hatred, or raving ecstasy. - Chapter 23, EXR
This does seem to line up with what people say his attitude to Wei Wuxian is – there doesn't seem to be any happiness at seeing him again at all. The only time a word that could suggest that ('ecstasy') is used, it's accompanied by 'raving', and considering the context and the other possibilities of his expression, it's... probably not due to happiness at being reunited.
So, considering 1) this, 2) his contribution to the Siege specifically intended to kill Wei Wuxian, and 3) that at the time of frequent soul-summoning Jiang Yanli's death would be even closer for him, I feel pretty confident in saying that yes, this is likely a motivation for the Jiang sect in trying to re-summon Wei Wuxian's soul after his death. And, as mentioned earlier, cultivators can harm ghosts (and we know Zidian is able to remove souls posessing a body from that body, and that Jiang Cheng used Zidian on 'Mo Xuanyu' in Chapter 10. If it wasn't able to restrain/harm ghosts, or other methods weren't able to, why would he risk Wei Wuxian's soul escaping?).
And finally, option four: destruction. We're heading into much more speculative territory here, so don't consider this on par with the first three. But consider this:
We know there are some spells, like Xue Yang's talisman used on A-Qing and the body-offering ritual, that can ruin the returning soul’s reincarnation cycle by destroying it. Therefore, soul destruction is possible.
The 'main'/supposed reason for summoning Wei Wuxian's soul back is to stop the "cultivation world, or even all of mortal land" from being "faced with the most insane damnation and revenge, sinking into nothing but chaos and despair" when Wei Wuxian inevitably returns. While, as mentioned above, I severely doubt this is the motivation for certain sects – and to me is likely a rumour which the Jins (again, especially Jin Guangsha) fanned the flames of to justify summoning Wei Wuxian back for their own purposes**** – there are other sects which would take it more seriously.
Although likely disrespectful, people already thought it served Wei Wuxian right to die without his body intact by the time of the second siege – something believed to negatively affect your reincarnation in your next life*****. This is only the logical next step, and I'm pretty sure the vast majority of people would believe that, again, it would serve Wei Wuxian right, or would at least lead to less harm of the world in the long run.
For these reasons, I could definitely see this as an option for some sects, especially the sects who consider themselves more 'righteous' (cough cough the Nies under Nie Mingjue cough cough). After all, evil is evil and good is good, and the evil deserve what's coming to them. And what better way to prevent that than from preventing his soul from returning at all? So for the Nie sect – and likely some of the smaller sects involved in the Siege, since among them, additudes probably vary – yes, I do think it could be a motivation.
I’m not as sure about the Lans being willing to go this far, and that’s largely for two reasons. One, Lan Wangji’s presence and his relationship to Lan Xichen, who does (not always, but he does) let this affect how he treats Wei Wuxian. An example of this is that, when Wei Wuxian's return is made public, Lan Xichen does let him hide and shelter at the Cloud Recesses instead of trying to pursue him, likely majorly due to Lan Wangji. I'd argue that the aftermath of the Nightless City also acts as an example of this, although it definitely isn't perfect. But though he, Lan Qiren and the 33 elders do come to find Lan Wangji and do not let him continue to shelter Wei Wuxian (after they see Lan Wangji's feelings), Lan Xichen doesn't use this opportunity to kill/capture Wei Wuxian, despite Lan Wangji being in a worse condition due to having fought 33 elders, Wei Wuxian being catatonic, and Lan Qiren likely supporting this outcome (especially considering he was the one who led the Lan sect in the Siege – chapter 68, Wei Wuxian's POV). And he did let Lan Wangji take Wei Wuxian back to the Burial Mounds after:
After he went out of his way to send you back to Burial Mound and returned in such low spirits to receive his punishment, how long he kneeled before the Wall of Rules! - Chapter 99, EXR
Again, this was right after the Nightless City massacre – there isn't any goodwill towards Wei Wuxian at this point in time.
Of course, the Lan sect did participate in the siege after Lan Xichen knew of Lan Wangji's feelings towards Wei Wuxian, which Lan Xichen was no doubt a part of (although Lan Qiren lead the Lan sect in the siege, Lan XIchen had to have at least known/given his support, if not participated.) And it should be considered that Lan Xichen letting Wei Wuxian shelter at the Cloud Recesses was after Wei Wuxian had been back for a while, and had not caused the downfall of the Cultivation World, like many suspected he would after his death. And of course, as stated previously, his handling of the aftermath of Nightless City wasn't perfect either (though please note that his main motive here was to protect Lan Wangji from being potentially executed, rather than anything about Wei Wuxian himself). So caring about Lan Wangji doesn't mean he won't harm Wei Wuxian. But I do think he could find bringing Wei Wuxian's soul back to completely destroy it a bit excessive. There is, though, the chance that the elders of the Lan Sect would react to this differently, and of course they would have a sway on both Lan Xichen and the Lan sect as well.
The second reason is smaller, but there seems to be more focus in the Lan sect than in others when it comes to letting ghosts rest peacefully/helping them move on. And that could definitely lead to more resistance to the idea of summoning a soul back to destroy it as well, which could especially impact the elders. So I'd assume that the Lan sect would be the most likely sect to summon Wei Wuxian's soul back just for confinement, or just for some way of making sure any resentment is disippated, his spirit moves on, and he can't cause more harm to the world (eg via Inquiry)******. Not that he would or does as a ghost or as a reborn person, but that's unfortunately not relevant to this.
But yes, as a motivation for the Nie Mingjue-led Nie sect? Absolutely.
So, these are the main motives I suspect to be behind the attempted summoning of Wei Wuxian's soul after his death (and if I've missed any, please let me know – I'd love to have a discussion). And, of course, none of them lead to anywhere good. Because of course it wasn’t enough to besiege Wei Wuxian, murder the 50 non-combatants he was responsible for (and throwing them into the blood pit as a mark of disrespect because why not?), and lead to his death via him getting torn apart. It wasn’t enough to steal all his inventions, and use them commonly while still slandering him with no reprieve – or to steal his notes and give them to people like Xue Yang to study (Villainous Friends, again) and to use for their own, extremely extremely harmful, purposes. Of course, the cultivation world has to try to harm Wei Wuxian after death as well ((:
We don't know whether Wei Wuxian rejecting the summoning ceremonies was conscious or unconscious, but if it was the former, these are very likely reasons he refused to return in this way. If it was unconscious – for example, maybe during the frequent soul-summons his soul was in a weakened state due to him dying from a backlash of resentful energy and getting torn apart, and it healed over time but not before the soul-summoning rituals stopped – well, I can only be thankful.
Finally, let me leave you on the thought that – although it may well have happened since we don't spend much time in the immediate aftermath of the Sunshot campaign – there isn't even any textual mention of this happening to Wen Ruohan. Who, while not being a guidao user, was still very dangerous, still an extremely powerful cultivator, and still had a lot of reason to feel resentment. So.
:')
Thank you for reading!
--
*Considering what we see of how Wei Wuxian's guidao functions – redirecting the ghosts'/corpses' resentment into doing something they'd want to do, eg attacking people, and directing it towards a target – I'm not sure using it to force a spirit to do something 1) extremely specific, and 2) explicitly against their will would actually work. Iirc the closest thing we get to this in text is Wei Wuxian using the corpses of Wens to attack other Wens in the Sunshot Campaign, but he's still just directing their resentment to a target of his choice, and fierce corpses do tend to be on the less concious side of things (hence why Wei Wuxian had to awaken Wen Ning's consciousness). Considering how Wen Ning attacks Wei Wuxian and the Burial Mound Wens before his consciousness had fully awoken, I... really don't think those fierce corpses were able to differentiate (or didn't care).
Meanwhile, ghosts seem to be a bit more in control of themselves – see A-Qing, and Wei Wuxian's own descriptions of his ghost self.
That, alongside ghost!Wei Wuxian being able to resist his soul-summoning and the fact that pretty much all of the new guidao users are a lot weaker than he was, does make me think that this this wouldn't work. I do wonder about Xue Yang, since his methods are pretty different as well, but he's more of a modao user than a guidao user (he controls living corpses rather than dead people) and I don't think you can insert physical nails into ghosts?? Though if he was specifically instructed to figure out some way to control ghost!Wei Wuxian (who's probably kept in a spirit-trapping pouch in this scenario), he might be able to do something at least. Though also he was also struggling to piece Xiao Xingchen's ghost soul back together, so he may struggle with those areas?
Well, whatever the potential outcome, I'm so so happy once again that Wei Wuxian's soul managed to resist the soul-summonings...
**Mainly this:
Everyone in the cultivation world knew that the young leader of the Jiang Clan watched out for Wei WuXian in an almost crazed manner. He would rather catch the wrong person than let go of any possibility, and took anyone who seemed like they held the soul of Wei WuXian away to the YunmengJiang Sect, inflicting severe torture on his victim. If he wanted to take someone back, the opposition would surely lose half of their life. - Chapter 10, EXR
But I have heard people say 'you can't prove that it's just more rumours' before, and I wanted my evidence to be as watertight as possible.
(And, off-topic... isn't it really sad how Jiang Cheng, in the present day, is described as young? Because, for a clan leader, he is. And another thing he is, is close in age to Wei Wuxian – who was killed 13 whole years prior :') )
***And do note that the only other time they run into each other before Wei Wuxian's identity is revealed to the world apart from this is their brief interaction at Jinlintai, where he can't just act however he wants. The next time they run into each other after it, Jiang Cheng is literally taking part in another siege against him, and still extremely hostile ("surrounded by hostile energy, face insidious, staring straight at him" – from EXR chapter 60). Then he loses his spiritual powers and can't do anything. By the time he regains his powers, Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and the Wen remnants' corpses have saved everyone during the Second Siege, and though public opinion hasn't properly shifted quite yet, it will soon after Sisi and Bicao tell the story of Jin Guangyao, and voila, a new scapegoat (do note that he doesn't completely bar Wei Wuxian from entering Lotus Pier after the Second Siege, though). Plus, throughout it all, Lan Wangji is still constantly present, which makes it hard for Jiang Cheng to really do anything. And then he's finally faced with the Golden Core reveal, which does alter his motivations towards Wei Wuxian (obviously the resentment is still there – read chapter 102 – but it's also mixed with other complex emotions, and he seems to start being able to move away from that a little in Chapter 103). I still definitely wouldn't describe Jiang Cheng's attitude towards him as positive, but it isn't at the point it was at the start of the novel (eg Chapter 10).
But even if his attitude does change, or would for whatever other reason apart from the reveal, that still doesn't change an initial motivation so isn't relevant to this meta. We know his intentions at the start.
****It's also possible they may have originated it, but I think WWX's reputation was bad enough for it to form naturally. Though you can trace a major part of that back to them, too.
*****That belief isn't outright stated in MDZS, but the fact people are specifically talking about the status of WWX's body in the aftermath of his death suggests that this belief does have some grounding in the MDZS universe, at least? And we know MXTX has included it in TGCF (though that doesn't mean it's definitely in MDZS), so she has used it in her works. If this isn't the case in the MDZS universe I am sorry (although that could also mean there's less importance placed on not disturbing the reincarnation cycle in the world of MDZS...? Which would work towards my original argument) – I don't want to spread misinformation that something is definitely true, I just think there's evidence to suggest it is true, which isn't the same thing.
******Again, I think this would depend on who ends up having more influence over who in the Lan sect. After all, normal resentful spirits only do what they do because of their resentment in death, whereas Wei Wuxian is 'dangerous' because of who everyone thinks he was in life – so him being reborn naturally could also 'cause a lot of harm to the world' during the time period this version of him would live in, unlike the resentful ghosts they appease. This could definitely lead to many advocating for confinement, I think.
#writing this takes me back to my nie huaisang one#'detective metas' i'd call both of them#as opposed to analysis of characters or themes#it may be less 'meaningful' but it's still fun to explore and speculate within a world you love#...albeit maybe not for this one because. mdzs jianghu when i get my hands on you-#also i fully acknowledge i may be wrong#but again i'd love to have discussions about these! debates and knowledge exchange are what leads to better understanding of source materia#which is a major goal of mine in writing these#mdzs meta#my meta#wei wuxian#mdzs cultivation world#long post#mo dao zu shi#gdc#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#魔道祖师#mxtx#detective meta#<– if i ever make this a tag#also i feel like you could write a fic (angsty or not so angsty depending on where you go with it) where the lan sect somehow-#-summons ghost!wwx back (not sure how bc the jin and jiang sects would probably want 'custody' of him more - and i don't think summoning-#-rituals are done by just one sect at a time? but imagine it happens) and idk he's kept in a spirit-trapping pouch or sth#lwj probably isn't told bc of what happened after nightless city - elders can't really trust him in matters to do with wwx#but maybe lxc feels bad for him or sth (especially bc he's mourning him and stuff + what happened after he found out wwx was dead)#and tells him and maybe brings wwx's soul to him for a bit so wwx can respond to inquiry#and they talk and obv. wwx is NOT happy with the situation (both rn and yk bc of the VERY RECENT SIEGE)#but but but! the thing that would stop this being completely depressing is that LWJ HAS A-YUAN SO WWX FINDS OUT HE SURVIVED#also lwj's injuries would likely come up at SOME point which would lead to wwx finding out abt nightless city afermath#AA NOO THE TAGS WENT ON FOR SO MUCH LONGER BUT I GUESS TUMBLR DOESN'T ALLOW SO MANY i'll have to make another post...
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20/10 stars little guy
#me (scrounging undetected autist whose ideal fashion sense is ''if i have to be seen at all: shrouded'') seeing encanto the other month.....#and on top of it all i LOVE slice of life. encanto being so focused on What It's About that there's so much of that + character / dynamic#also part of what i loved abt pixar luca. ppl like ''simple story but not a problem :)'' like YEAH thank god it's Also so slice of lifey#2021 what a year lol. though again i only Just saw encanto....tfw Studio Creative Control backs off a bit more than usual: Joy & Wonders#anyway i knew going in bruno wasn't an antagonist (fine if he was though b/c slay & b/c scapegoats can do whatever they want)#knew i'd love him b/c again Scapegoat shows up & i'm the Amazing Showstopping Totally Unique Never The Same gif on loop#but what a delight even beyond those expectations lol. love again how Focused the movie is on What It's About & Thee Points it makes#the Characters / Dynamics & the Metaphor & the plot stays right with all of that. the focus & importance re: thee scapegoats....#& bruno being disabled like whole layer of Yay Yay Yay spamming. that even when He's Back we're reminded he's not ''normal now'' or w/e#(i.e. presenting that as The Good Ending for the disabled outcast. vs just being embraced as part of the group again & accepted As He Is)#meanwhile was like hmm chat is there queercoding do we think? like is he queer: Yes. but is there coding? hmm#sure isn't cishet coded though. but i was also having the thought like fellas is it gay to [higher tenor tessitura or w/e] lol#made me go ''do i know this voice? ok do i know this name / face / actor? (i have never seen anything ever / bad w/names/faces/voices)''#indeed was like yeah haven't seen this; heard of this; seen it once ages ago no way i remember more than like 0.6 details#then from ''ohh haha I'm A Mammal That Cares....yeah i hear that'' to ''omg CHI-CHI RODRIGUEZ???? ;;0;;'' waaah fantastic revelation lmao#also the way Literal Future Seer ability was externalized to make it more wrangleable for plot is so impressive & fun & excellent#got a lot of [i like this thing i saw a lot] i got to say....guess i can do that w/the sideblog i made for one drawing i made last night#encanto 2021#bruno madrigal#also the way bruno is so Nervous + Hiding / Bold + Big Personality like yes ha ha ha Yes....tamped down as ''too much'' experience#also the [stuttering stumbling muttering mumbling] line: i fr nigh wept upon going back over a moment like what am i hearing here?#& realizing the answer was: it's bruno quietly stuttering a moment during this one line (& then (& then (& then)) i saw you) ;;;mm;;;#hang onnn....the first scapegoat who's driven off being Disabled is so real so ;m; that again they're like so he got Weirder; Okay ;;m;;#that we get jorge thumbs up nobody having an Aside to be like [ugh; this guy] or Anything. augh always have too much to say for 30 tags#fabric drape there sure not accurate but i was like okay if i try to really reference that i'm not getting this done tonight
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I don't like any of the maps I've seen for HTTYD so i'm playing a puzzle game w all the locations. This is the 3rd version so far
#httyd#how to train your dragon#httyd map#rtte#race to the edge#mm i already see things i wanna change lmao#the red circle is the are where the Red Death has control#not every dragon in there is under her control but all the dragons of her flock stay there so it's the area where dragon raids happen#i don't believe in the 3rd movie so there's no hidden world but if there WAS i'd put it there hence the ()#also i saw someone saying how funny itd be if hiccup's sarcastic narration of the 1st movie's opening scene was actually the names of place#hence ''freezing to death'' ''hopeless'' and especially ''the meridian of misery''#idk how i feel abt the bewilderbeast under berserker island so instead they're barely located in the red death's territory hence the lack o#raids#and since they're not in war w the dragons n don't get raided they have more people and can actually afford resources and time to things#like fighting other ppl and pillaging like actual vikings#the upper square is the map that berk&berserkers&freezing to death etc use#they're all p concerned w the dragon raids so there's not much energy put to exploring or interacting w Other ppl#n traders rarely go there#they're the weirdos who've settled too close to a dragon nest in the north#n the lower square is the map viggo has and where his Dragon Hunters mainly operate#im thinking of shifting that more to the right to put the rookery where the 'northern markets' currently are#also something that bothers me is that we never rly explore any normal villages#like we've got berk&the berserkers. then we've got uhh 2 dragon-friendly islands the dragon hunters and drago#like who is buying all that dragon product? who are the tribes of the other chieftains in the meeting drago burned down?#where is everyone???
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having a lavellan who is kind of an absolute demon in her own right is so much fun because sure that cut content of "oh solas didnt deserve a happy ending but lavellan did" is lovely and worth centering in the conversation.... but you know what else hits? "oh my god i dont even care anymore" "if this is what it takes for them to both fucking LEAVE thedas then good riddance"
#datv#oc: ashara#datv spoilers#insane rant incoming. this is very much abt ashara but like i hope u can all see the vision for lavellans in general#bc honestly... i am such a big fan of lavellans who ALSO deserve some fade prison time . JDFGJHKDFG#like obviously she could NEVER deserve it as much as solas and the evanuris do. but like. maybe a LITTLE... womens rights womens wrongs !!!#ashara having the potential to heal solas by being the inverse of mythal. everything mythal was NOT#........while still matching his own personal freak by several concerning markers😍#up until trespasser the inquisitor truly WAS one of the closest things this world had to a demigod. w all the power/authority#- and loss of personhood - that comes with it. and the inevitable OVERREACH.... the meddling in affairs that effect the world at large...#unwittingly setting in motion things that ruin lives! destroy cities and communities and worse! and u cant even stop to rectify it#bc ur too integral to the Big Picture. that bright clear line from A to B... stuck up on that lonely towering pedestal you were forced onto#cant get down now girl its too far to fall !!!!!#mistake after mistake after mistake... just like solas....#i love the line ''you two were good for each other'' that rook can say in act 3 bc yeah lavellan can fix solas but like#maybe solas could fix lavellan too. theyre BOTH better together. their spirits mirror and adapt.... IDK !!! IDK! !!!! FOOD FOR THOUGHT!!!!#i think its why i personally am able to enjoy the ending more than others might. bc if ashara was more blameless i'd feel worse for her#but tbh as it stands........... well. gestures to the crimes.#anyway this whole convo is irrelevant ultimately bc it quite literally wont be terrible if theyre together <3
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Cass + ballet 🩰 (ft. supportive siblings and good dad Bruce)
I love the idea of Cass enjoying dance. It's an outlet that allows her to express herself without words, and I think she would enjoy the highly technical aspect of ballet combined with its storytelling and emotional side. and as a former dancer I always have fun imagining my fav characters do ballet :)
#ft good older bro dick grayson. and supportive babs and steph. and good dad bruce#sewing pointe shoes in the batcave as one does#cass jus having fun#dick and cass bonding over how they both enjoy stretching and falling asleep in the strangest positions#the rite of passage of trying pointes for the first time#bruce watches her first performance and she gives him a big hug#listen yall when i saw that comic panel of cass seeing ballet for the first time and the way it just Made Sense to her#i havent been normal since#i also just love the idea that eventually cass decides to take lessons and makes friends and learns things she'd never considered because#i think she'd be able to replicate most of the steps just by watching because of her training but she would be coming from#a background focused on martial arts and fighting and not. art and storytelling#and i'd love to see that being explored more. cass using her athletic skillset in something so unrelated to vigilante life#creating beauty instead of causing violence#clearly i've thought about this too much#if you have fic recs PLEASE GIVE THEM TO ME#i haven't read a lot of comics either outside of the first half of cass' batgirl run so recs for comics abt cass welcome as well!#clarisse doodles#dc#cassandra cain#batfam#batgirl#black bat#dc fanart#ballet
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Just a heads up, I might open commissions soon since I'll need extra budget for the next month! I know I still have a backlog of ko-fi doodles I need to work on but I'll try my best to do them alongside the comms 😤💪💪💪
#i wasn't able to do much of the doodles bc of art block this past few weeks 😔#tbh I feel like my current workspace is draining so I feel like having a portable device to use for art might help me to be more productive#been thinking of saving up for a tablet so I could work anywhere & anytime i wanted to#I see a lot of ppl use ipad + procreate but apple products are super expensive sooo i'll probably just go for a samsung tab#i've heard the s series work well for drawing? like s6 / s7?#tho I just might go for s9 fe instead since that's the newer version#if you guys have any recommendations abt what tab is good for drawing (that's also budget friendly) pleeeease let me know#i'd really appreciate it!! tysm ;w;#bam blabs
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trimeshi enjoyers i see your chimera!vash and raise you... wolfwood as [MANGA SPOILERS] marcille
or as my partner @sozosnipes named him, Wolfcille <3
#nicholas d. wolfwood#trigun#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#wolfwood wednesday#this thought has been haunting me for AGES if no one else is gonna do it then i guess i have to#if u create/see more art of him in this dress PLEASE direct me to them i NEED to see i'm literally begging#i'm not much of an artist + this is just a doodle i'm sure plenty of y'all out there can execute this better#i dont think this is what he'd actually be like in the DM universe (i have lengthy thoughts abt that + the rest of the trigang)#HOWEVER I DO think hed be nerdy enough to make his own staff like marcille (bc of the wooden bird carving thing)#nico ; secercah ampun#dungun meshimum#happy wolfwood wednesday#turtleduck doodles#btw this is my first time posting anything i've drawn here i think#if this were any more polished i'd have given him chest hair#nicholas d wolfwood#turtleduck originals
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this whole thing being abt rage is also really interesting. I feel like it comes up so much in fiction as a motive because it's the one emotion that's unifyingly restless while everything else can be petrifying, and just personally nothing hits like impotent rage for me, esp. with teen characters, esp. with characters whose rage is stoked by Someone Else to further that Someone Else's cause. like you'll have done all that in a bout of passion and when you're done you look around you and nothing has changed. those sentiments don't get quelled by being satisfied. righteousness withdrawal is a horrible thing to intentionally drag someone into, least of all just some kids.
#I think Ive brought my personal experience into this whole thing lol but yeah just.#the ratgrinders read so much like radicalization to me. or you know just. high control group recruitment#and I've seen that one time brennan brought up uhhh conservatism? and where people come from with that#that quote of his thats like. before youre a fascist youre a bully. like extreme sentiments take root on specific soils#and that's like a higher level than what we're talking abt here lmao it's fake fantasy high school role playing#but yeah just like. the simultaneous understanding of the grift working on these kids bc they already think a certain way#and also the other part that is no matter what the way that they think is not. conducive to them being happy#like yeah a nasty person is nasty to be around! but that also means they're often isolated#which makes them even easier prey for people who want to use them#fhjy coming out in The Current Climate makes that connection so apparent too lol like#me hearing abt the rage god: oh so like twitter#for the record of course I Dont Know if this is a read that's intended by the show#but it maps well onto my experience with radicalization/decentralized cult#Ive just. been thinking abt the rat grinders in those terms ever since I made the connection#like. you're accomplished and high level and such. is this sustainable? have you done anything For Yourself#or has everything you've done so far been coerced out of you by someone else's sweettalking#anyways if I can run porter cliffbreaker over with a car I would. and I'd reverse on him too#truly thats the highschool trauma as well as the grown man with niblings talking lmao#nothing gets me more mad than a shitty teacher#not art
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BNHA x Alien Stage but idk how to make it work???
Despite all of the complex and intertwined forms of love/admiration/obsession in BNHA's characters, I can't seem to form a fitting Alien Stage AU that fits the base dynamics of alnst's own main four.
Why? Because Himiko Toga is Ivan, Till, and Sua coded all at once. Ivan (unrequited-ish, blood, vampire), Till (aggressive, compulsive, gets sedated), Sua (worshipped love of the mc who dies, scarring her for the rest of her life).
Even if tgck were simply Sua and Mizi, idk who in the world would fit Till because no one in the cast worships Ochako like how Till worships Mizi (Izuku does not). I even considered Ochako as Till who admires Izuku and Himiko as Ivan, but Ochako being that compulsive and open about her feelings like...goes against her character so much so no... Himiko as Till, being obsessed with Izuku as Mizi but not Ochako also doesn't work for me either, because Himiko would like them both, not only one at a time, and that's important to me.
Bkdk as Ivantill is also too easy, but doesn't work either, because their love is so requited to me I can't imagine either as Till. Aka, the one who doesn't look back while obsessing over someone else, because they don't obsesses about literally anyone else but each other and All Might (and not in that way).
For the time being, I'm sticking with Ivantill-Togachako and Mizisua-Bakudeku but no exact roles yet. It's very strange at first glance, I know, but this makes the most sense in my brain.
I even considered dragging Shoto, Iida, Kirishima, or Tsu into this but they don't have enough connections for me to work with either, and not as insane. Sigh what a weird conundrum I'm in...
#not that ppl who make art of them this way are bad or anything#I'm just super duper picky abt how aus work#and its not a “i must abide by canon thing” its that these relationship dynamics are very important to me#and I'd like for them to be kept as much as possible. cus its my au#and somehow bnha's dynamics. even with how interconnected and wacked up they are. none of them match alnst.#maybe smth more niche subset of ships does but not mine#this is such a funny problem to have. i love alnst and the beautifully tragic love dynamics and want it in my fixation so bad#but I think I'd need to rewrite some dynamics completely for it to work alkjfalskjdahaaaaaaaaa#evelynpr bnha#bnha#mha#my hero academia#alien stage#alnst#bkdk#bakudeku#tgck#togachako#ochako uraraka#toga himiko#izuku midoriya#bakugou katsuki
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youtube
see too many ppl still defending jdepp or running with the "mutual abuse" angle so here's a video presenting basically all the (publicly available btw! for anyone to be able to look up!) information on this case. Let it be known if you still support jdepp i am assuming you have never done a grain of research into this in your life and just ran with public opinion and misinformation
#amber heard#r.txt#debating on whether or not i should send my siblings this video bc they're a) pro-jdepp b) saying it was mutual abuse or c) don't know#whose side to be on anymore after previously being pro-jdepp. but like i'm convinced they haven't actually ever done any research to base#their opinions on bc once you know all of this it's pretty obvious that amber was the victim in the situation but i don't want to offend an#of them by implying they haven't done their research. which would also be rlly disappointing bc why are u saying shit abt this topic if you#haven't properly informed urself LIKE. just say u don't know in that case instead of just going with popular opinion no. 1 aka pro-jdepp or#popular opinion no.2 aka it was mutual abuse blah blah they were both toxic af blah blah. anyway it would be rlly random to just send them#the vid and they probably wouldn't even watch it bc it's 2 and a half or so hours long and i just KNOW they're gonna be like i am not gonna#waste my time on smth i don't care that much abt or whatever. maybe the eldest will watch if i send bc he's already someone who watches#videos even if they're long asf i think he doesn't have a problem with the runtime but it's likely they don't think it's worth investing#time into or that they don't care abt rich famous people that much that they'd watch 150 minutes of info abt said people but at the same#time he's most likely to be open to other opinions. the second eldest is SO not gonna watch the vid bc it's too long but even so there is#still a chance she might at least watch a little of the video bc she is the one that was pro-depp before but said she doesn't know anymore#now. the third eldest is probably least likely to watch bc again it's a long vid and i don't think he'd watch + idk if he's that open to#hearing abt a different side. like this isn't specifically a pro-heard video it's at its core a video documenting depp&heard's relationship#and giving you all the relevant information in an orderly put togethet easily overseeable way but bc the evidence so clearly speaks to ambe#being the victim it is essentially also pro-heard but that's bc IT'S SO EASY TO SEE THAT SHE WAS THE VICTIM IF U ACTUALLY PUT THE EFFORT IN#TO READ UP AND CONNECT THE DOTS IN THE PUBLICLY AVAILABLE DOCUMENTS ARGHHHGGHH#anyway. maybe will send the video maybe not idk it does piss me off that they seem to have not put in research of their own before coming t#a conclusion abt this case and i want them to have the information and i also just want them to know where i'm coming from when i say i'm o#the sure opinion that amber was the victim in this case and that i HAVE done my research into this when the case was around and i'm not jus#talking out of my ass and being extremely feminist to a fault or wtvr ppl are saying#depp v heard#video#there is a pt 2 and 3 to this btw they're also good but pt 1 is the most information abt the case itself during the time they were together#while pt2 is more history of the hatred towards amber heard that was arouns since the beginning and jdepp's violence in life and love +#substance abuse issues and pt3 is more abt the most recent 2022 trial and why that was an unbalanced trial to begin with (jdepp literally#has an estimate of 150 million dollars at his disposal to use and amber heard has an estimate lf 500k. one of many unbalanced things in this#trial) & also discussing why so many ppl jumped on the hating amber heard bandwagon so readily. still both good vids that i'd recommend
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ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.
#it's usually when they randomly drop some line of fanon. like saying dean has never admitted to being wrong in his life#or never expressed an emotion or been vulnerable or doesn't Talk About Feelings or is super duper RepressedTM#like i'm sorry. have you watched the show. oh and have you taken off the sammy POV goggles first?#bc this guy is always crying and being vulnerable and talking about his feelings. he is self-aware.#he may not always want to talk to sam abt things! but he sure does talk about things with other people#do i need to reblog the compilation posts AGAIN?#(also re: his sexualiy? AWARE. sorry i saw him flirt and be flustered by so many men. he knows how he feels.)#and then 'first time ever admitting to being wrong' this one came from a post abt dean's prayer in the trap#like i'm sorry but first of all. dean apologizes more than any other character on the show. there are hard numbers on this.#people have tracked this on spreadsheets. i think ilarual is one of them.#and often he is apologizing for things that aren't even his fault! but he still feels responsible for bc he's been made to feel that way#his whole life!!#other characters *cough samandcas *cough* apologizing Less doesn't mean they've Done less things wrong#it just means they're not owning up to it and brushing it under the rug. something both do frequently.#anyways. aside from apologies. dean also has no problem admitting he's wrong y'know when he's actually wrong#which is less often than you'd think bc he has pretty good instincts and intuition and often suspects things which turn out to be Right#but anyways. another thing abt the trap prayer is. i don't think cas Needed to be forgiven#i think dean was justified in feeling angry w cas over the circumstances leading to the Death of His Mother! totally normal grief response!#i think cas also understands dean to be someone who needs time to process and deal with his feelings (he says as much to jack)#however. despite me not think dean Needs to forgive cas. the thing is. with dean when it comes to cas the forgiveness is implicit#when he says /of course i forgive you/ and in the cut like /of course i wanted you to stay/ like. yes he was mad and dealing with grief#but also. yes cas was already forgiven even back then. he just needed Time to work through the feelings#anyways i think dean says he 'forgives' cas bc it's what CAS needed to hear to stop feeling guilty and dean gives him that closure#but i also think cas was already forgiven even in dean's anger. he wants him there always. i'd rather have you. we can fix this. etc etc#a lot of tags for a non-rebloggable post ajksdfs maybe i'll make these into a real post sometime#vic.txt#dean and feelings#so i can find this all again later
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