#and i wrote this on a whim

[voidbeau]

🌿Promises, Promises🌹

---

Thorn x Mr. Flower fic i wrote spontaneously for me. i need.

so sorry if some things don't make sense lmaooo

Mild hurt/comfort, mild angst, some fluff, mentions of blood and injury.

Thorn and Mr. Flower have a conversation about some things.

---

As per usual, when it happened, he hadn't been told much.

Workers in the manor sprinted to and fro and much to Mr. Flower's annoyance, grew hushed whenever he'd draw near.

It was all the same vague answer.

"There was an accident." Said the maid, the nurse and even the bodyguards who were often the ones dragging a half beaten Thorn in from god knows where.

And never did the explanations come with any further details.

So there Mr. Flower stood, in the middle of the foyer, body as tense as his face was stern.

Nurses stood at the ready, quietly and uncomfortably whispering to each other.

It seemed they were called on short notice and they themselves had only been apprised of so much regarding Thorn's recent situation.

Or so Mr. Flower was told, which of course only made him that much more tense.

The gnawing anxiety that made his mind race and his stomach flip were never not the driving force behind Mr. Flower's insistence on trying to get as closely involved as possible and to drag out every detail possible from whoever he could.

Because he knew he wouldn't be getting it from Thorn.

But that wasn't going to stop him from trying and he had a few choice words for the rose man for making poor Mr. Flower worry so often.

The heavy double front doors crashed open almost at the same time the thunder rolled from outside, pulling Mr. Flower from his thoughts.

His eyes widened as he watched the now wide open front entrance intently.

The biting winds cut through the foyer and the heavy rains speckled the cold marble floor of the manor.

There, with either arm draped over the shoulders of two of his bodyguards, Stag and Leo, was Thorn.

He was a mess. Rips in his suit like he'd been attacked by a wild animal, blood dripping from freshly torn wounds, bruises on his face. His neck appeared to be missing a few of his protruding thorns as well.

Mr. Flower winced upon seeing his partner stumbling through the doors as he was.

While Mr. Flower had certainly seen Thorn, Stag and Leo struggling up the driveway, to see Thorn up close was a different matter.

Mr. Flower's ear petals closed up tightly against his head. Simultaneously, Thorn in his half alert state seemed a little startled to see Mr. Flower there with everyone else and Mr. Flower knew it was because Thorn had no intentions of letting Mr. Flower see this.

Much as it irked and confused the floral creature.

As Thorn was being held up by two different people, it was clear Thorn was unsteady for the moment. But he seemed well enough to flash Mr. Flower one of his typical toothy grins.

"Sorry I'm home so late babe, there's a- was an accident." He slurred, before completely slumping over unconscious.

Anything Mr. Flower was about to say was gone. His stomach dropped almost in tandem with Thorn's battered body. His expression had instantly gone from stern to scared.

Wordlessly, Mr. Flower rushed towards Thorn, along with the private nurses who had been notified a little earlier to be on stand by.

Nothing was said in that moment, aside from shortly phrased and direct instructions from the head nurse to promptly get Thorn to the medical wing and start treating his wounds.

It was a bit of a blur from there for Mr. Flower, all he could do was try to keep up. Admittedly he did feel somewhat under foot the entire transition from the foyer to the medical wing, but he didn't want to leave Thorn's side.

For a mercy, it seemed like most people in the manor understood that now. Especially when Mr. Flower was allowed to linger when so many times before he'd always be gently escorted out.

He wasn't sure if it was because the nurses were distracted as things were, or if everyone was aware of the nature of Mr. Flower's involvement with Thorn.

It wasn't exactly a secret, the budding romance that had grown between the two, but it wasn't something that was outwardly broadcasted either.

At least not on Mr. Flower's part. There was never any doubt of interest on Thorn's end and as such, their relationship always held a kind of ambiguity among manor staff.

But of course, folk gossiped.

Mr. Flower sighed, sitting stiffly in a chair in Thorn's room, off to the side but where he could watch the nurses as they worked.

According to one of them, Thorn had lost quite a bit of blood and on top of it was going to need to have some of his wounds stitched shut. But it seemed his private set up here in his own home was well equipped to deal with that.

No doubt that was a detail that was among the many, myiard questions Mr. Flower had for Thorn.

For now though, the rose monster was still very out cold on his hospital bed, hooked up to an IV and carefully patched up.

All that was left was to wait.

And wait Mr. Flower did- Or at least he tried.

It was already late into the night as things were and somewhere along the way, Mr. Flower had drifted off in his seat. But when he had awoken, things had quieted down considerably.

It was just him and Thorn for now, though no doubt someone would be in and out periodically to keep tabs on Thorn's vitals.

Mr. Flower yawned, quietly stretching his arms and legs out in his chair.

He scanned the room for a clock and then patted himself down to see if he had his phone on him.

Thankfully he did, flipping it open to read, "2:33 am".

Seemed Mr. Flower had been out for at least an hour, a fact backed up by the stiffness in his neck which he tried for a moment to fruitlessly massage out with his free hand.

The creature snapped his phone shut, tucking it into his back pocket as he rose to his feet.

His eyes fell upon the still unconscious form of his poor monster.

Mr. Flower approached, with almost careful steps, as if the state Thorn were in were fragile enough to be disturbed by one wrong move.

Mr. Flower knew Thorn better than that of course, but it was still difficult to see him in such bad shape.

It had been one of the worst conditions Thorn had ever come home in since Mr. Flower began working with him months ago. Every time Mr. Flower struggled to extract details from Thorn and every time Mr. Flower was met with insistence that he needn't be so concerned over the incidents.

"It was just a minor scuffle! Don't you worry your pretty little petals over it, alright?" Thorn's voice rang through Mr. Flower's head as he recalled a conversation they had had during the first few weeks of Mr. Flower's employment with Thorn.

"Well these minor scuffles seem to be happening more often. Just this week you've gone through two different vehicles because one was covered in bullet holes and the other was almost completely shredded!" Mr. Flower replied, his voice raised slightly, "it was like a beast had sunk its claws into it! What on earth are you doing out there?" Mr. Flower demanded, arms crossed as he stood before Thorn's desk.

The rose monster scoffed, flashing Mr. Flower an unbothered grin as he shrugged in response.

"What can I say, Void's a wild place." Thorn said, all too casually, reaching into one of the side drawers of his desk and retrieving a pack of smokes.

Mr. Flower was not the least bit amused.

He watched with a frown and knitted brows as Thorn lit a cigarette for himself, taking a long drag as he remained reclined in his large leather office chair, bandaged and bruised for the fourth time in almost a month.

"You'd think by now you'd learn to at least be a bit more careful." Mr. Flower muttered, the intensity of his gaze barely waning.

Thorn's however expression however, did soften from an almost teasing grin to a much more empathetic smile as he happily gazed back at his fiery flower.

"C'mere..." Thorn said, sitting upright in his chair as he beckoned Mr. Flower over.

Mr. Flower hesitated for a moment before he dropped his arms and made his way around Thorn's desk to stand before him.

Without warning, Thorn reached for Mr. Flower's hands, gripping them in his own gloved ones as he looked him in the eyes with such a reassuring smile.

"I promise you love, if it there was anything you needed to be concerned about you'd be the first to know."

That was what he had the gall to tell Mr. Flower all those months prior to this moment, but as Mr. Flower looked on the unconscious Thorn, one hand gripping his other arm nervously, he felt ill.

Whatever was driving Thorn to keep putting himself in these dangerous situations felt like something Mr. Flower should already know about.

"So much for that promise..." Mr. Flower said under his breath, his petals falling slightly just as his shoulders did.

It was late enough as it was, and it seemed to Mr. Flower that Thorn was likely going to stay out for the rest of the night.

Seeing as Mr. Flower was confident the nurses had things in order the tired creature felt he had no further reason to stick around.

Thorn was for the moment safe and that was all Mr. Flower could ask for but, just as he turned to make his exit he felt a firm, warm grip encompass the wrist closest to Thorn's bed.

Mr. Flower's ear petals perked and he jumped slightly, but quickly composed himself as he turned to face Thorn who still lay with his eyes closed.

His chest rose and fell steadily, then expanded in one big inhale as the wound riddled monster took a deep breath, as if he were just waking up from a harmless nap.

Thorn turned his head towards Mr. Flower, his spiral eyes fluttering open and he dared to greet Mr. Flower with such a soft smile.

It was of course, quite irksome for the creature then to find himself responding with such an overwhelming wave of affection and of course, true relief to see the rose monster awake again.

"How long was I out..?" Thorn asked, yawning as he spoke.

So annoyingly casual as usual, but perhaps that was a good thing in this case.

"Couple of hours." Said Mr. Flower. He looked at Thorn's blood bag, roughly a quarter of the way gone. "A nurse will probably be in soon to check in on you."

"Great. What time is it?" Thorn asked, head lolling back onto the bed as his eyes fluttered shut. Drowsy most likely.

"Almost three in the morning." Said Mr. Flower.

A thoughtful and affirming "hm" left Thorn's chest as the hand that rested on Mr. Flower's wrist gently and ever so slightly, worked its way up and down the creature's forearm.

Mr. Flower's ear petals twitched at the warm sensation of Thorn's hand on him. He almost wanted to grab the stupid thing and intertwine those fingers with his own.

But he had his priorities.

"It's late. You should be resting." Thorn mumbled.

Mr. Flower tensed lightly at that. "Can't. Needed to be here to make sure you were okay." He said. His voice still soft, quiet, but there was a subtle bite to the statement.

Thorn's eyes opened again, his hand stopping but still lingering on Mr. Flower's wrist as he met with Mr. Flower's sullen gaze.

Thorn seemed to contemplate something for a moment and for that moment, Mr. Flower braced himself for Thorn to make light of the situation as he normally did.

"I'm sorry." Were the unexpected words to leave Thorn's mouth, leaving Mr. Flower noticeably stunned for a second.

He quirked a brow as if questioning the validity of the simple claim or to wait for some sort of addendum. But nothing of the sort came.

Thorn sighed as a sad half smile brushed across his face and he shrugged somewhat.

"Well don't look so surprised, sweetheart." He said, "Look, I know I put you through a lot, and maybe things seem hard to understand right now, but I promise it'll all make sense." Thorn said, trying to adjust himself in his bed so that he might be able to sit upright, but was impeded by the sudden sharp and searing pain of his wounds.

Thorn grunted in pain and Mr. Flower grimaced along with him, as he sighed and shook his head.

"I don't understand why you can't just tell me what you're doing." He said in exasperation. "Do you not trust me? Have I not been good enough for you in all of this?" He went on, sounding more desperate as he spoke.

Thorn wanted to stop him, but struggled to get his voice out over the pain as he tried to settle back down in his bed.

He was forced to sit and listen, his hand leaving Mr. Flower's wrist to rest on his stomach.

"It's been almost two years since I met you, and almost a year since I started getting involved in your 'work'", Mr. Flower spat, "...but the only thing I've understood is that you don't want to tell me the full story of what it is you're actually doing around here! What is it all for!?" Mr. Flower went on. "And is it really worth all this?" Mr. Flower desperately questioned, motioning to the entirety of Thorn's bruised and tattered form as the rose monster sighed pathetically in place.

Thorn winced, finally finding a comfortable position, then looked up at his angry flower and simply smiled through knitted brows.

"Well, I think you make a lot of things worth it honestly" He said simply, and Mr. Flower's frown deepened.

"Don't. Don't make this out like this is all for me." He said bitingly, shaking his head as he spoke.

A soft breathy single laugh left Thorn's lips as he barely had to think about it.

"In a sense." He said, his gaze wandering to the floor for a bit, "I would have given up a long time ago if I hadn't met you." Said Thorn thoughtfully, fondly even.

Mr. Flower's frown softened and while his crown of petals drooped sadly, his ear petals had perked ever so slightly.

He was already feeling the creeping, annoying defeat crawling up his back as he looked at Thorn, who looked back with sudden unwavering enthusiasm.

"Maybe it was better we never met then." Mr. Flower tried to say, but the horribly optimistic look in his monster's spiral eyes ignited that terrible, comforting warmth inside of Mr. Flower. Like for a second, he could believe that maybe things would be okay.

"Can't really imagine things without you love." Thorn had the gall to say. "And that's why I need you to trust me." He said so boldly, so confidently. That ambition that fuelled Thorn constantly day in and day out was hardly obstructed by the state he was in and by whatever encounter had put him in it.

The way Thorn always looked at Mr. Flower made him wonder if he really was somehow at fault for that awful inextinguishable flame.

"I-... You're not giving me a lot to work with." Mr. Flower sighed, "not when you constantly leave me in the dark and leave me wondering if the next time I'm going to see you is in a body bag." He said with a heavy sigh, crossing his arms as his shoulders fell.

"Ha! you're not getting rid of me that easy." Thorn said as his usual sharp toothed grin returned to him in full.

Mr. Flower took a moment to take it in, feeling some tension leave him as he did. And still...

"I wish I could believe that."

Thorn's grin softened to a warm smile as he reached out for Mr. Flower's hand, who acquiesced after a moment's hesitation, ear petals pulled back yet still fanned out slightly.

"Well sweetheart, I haven't died yet," Thorn said matter-of-factly, "and I promise I have no intentions of dying before my plans are through." He finished with a grin, ending the claim with an assuring squeeze to Mr. Flower's hand.

The creature sighed and allowed himself to give way to a soft smile, still adorned with knitted brows but he smiled all the same. To the best of his ability.

"Fine, but that's a promise." Said Mr. Flower, and as Thorn planted a kiss on his hand he replied, "That's a promise."

Just as their conversation had come to an end, one of the nurses entered the room, her heels clicking steadily against the tile floor.

She came to an abrupt and slightly startled halt when she saw Mr. Flower with a very awake and seemingly alert Thorn.

"Oh-! I hope I'm not interrupting." She said, her eyes flicking between the two lovers. "I just came in to check up on things.

"Oh of course. I was just leaving." Mr. Flower said with a polite smile.

"It's probably for the best. It's late and you should get some rest." Thorn added, "I'll see you in the morning?" He went onto question, still holding onto Mr. Flower's hand, caressing it with his thumb.

"Yeah, of course. Good night." He said gently, giving Thorn one last affectionate gaze. But Thorn wasn't entirely satisfied with that, not until he abruptly pulled Mr. Flower forward and down enough for a quick kiss and a quiet "I love you" between them, knowing Mr. Flower wasn't always the fondest of open displays of affection.

So Thorn kept it brief and chuckled a little when he watched his flower exit the room a little bit flustered as the border collie nurse looked on with a stoic face but a wagging tail.

No doubt she'd have a lot to tell the other nurses later.

[planehabitat]

the god of storytelling, condensed into a little clay form!

made with sculpey premo, acrylic paint, and middle school sculpting experience

[yangcherie]

mating season

𐀔 pairings: astarion x reader. karlach x reader. halsin x reader. background cast (wyll, shadowheart, lae’zel, gale) x reader. background rolan x tav.

𐀔 content warnings: tiefling!tav, LITERALLY PWP, alcoholic consumption, brief sexual memory (halsin), heavy petting, noncon to dubcon (with astarion only), slight slutshaming, oral (f!receiving), mentions of breeding, afab anatomy but g/n pronouns. astarion is very slightly, slighty mean, up to you if he is ascended or not.

𐀔 sypnosis: you, a tiefling, go through your first heat cycle around your companions. some are willing to either indulge you or take advantage of you.

𐀔 author’s note: hoppinh on the bandwagon of tieflings having heat / rut cycles. astarion, briefly halsin, ROLAN and karlach get some action, teehee. and don't worry. everyone is a pervert and thinks about it. everyone will get a chance. someday. merry christmas!!

The first thing everyone wakes up to is heat. Sweltering, palpable heat, pervading the air up to the point it felt like it was trying to smother them, casting annoying, relentless burnishes of perspiration on their skin.

It couldn’t be the sun, no. The warmth felt too close, within of reach – but even then, it was no lively and unextinguished campfire, no engine out of hand nestled within Karlach, Shadowheart concluded.

They’d all been taking turns the entire morning seeking cold relief in the stream. Thankfully, as the day prevailed, the sun was no longer so glaring, the heatwave lessening by a tad bit, the rest of the party excluding a certain Ravenguard had found it now bearable.

It wasn’t until Wyll was fed up with the sweat that would inevitably come no matter how much he wiped at it, marching towards where it felt most blistering, most fervent; the intense source.

It had led him to your tent — and without doubt, the demon believed the source was your tent; your fucking otherworldy furnace of a tent. Even as he stood from outside, the heat was practically choking him. He wouldn’t be surprised if he took a look inside and finds out you, little fiend you, stuffed the entire Nine Hells inside. And take a look inside he does, peeling away the entrance, a delirious but polite request to turn down the heat ready on his tongue —

But it isn’t the Nine Hells’ heat and musk that slaps him to his face, to his utter surprise.

It’s you; trembling, flushed raw and in all of your fiendish glory, naked. Tail loud and thumping on the floor as your whimpers permeate through the air, legs spread and — No!

Somewhere in the back of his horned head, he wonders if it’s the heat, the shock, or simply his building arousal that has rendered him stuck to his position. It takes Wyll all his strength he can muster to tear his eyes away; what was he doing? He was intruding on your tent— your privacy! How could he forget basic etiquette, so much for being a noble-!

(Without a doubt, he’s ruined his chance of any traditional courtship.)

“Sorry.” The Blade himself awkwardly coughs before pushing himself out of your tent with an inhuman force, slamming the fabric entrance shut and tripping on his own two feet on the way out. “It’s Tav!” He shouts, sprinting with little idea on where to; the heat is unbearable and by the gods, he isn’t so sure anymore if it was coming from your tent or if it was simply his body. His commotion with Tav gathers the attention and eyes of his fellow companions, and it is both Karlach and Shadowheart that push at him to settle him down.

“Hey, hey. Calm down, you!” Karlach, ever the concerned companion with her furrowed brows, assures him like steed. “Tav, you mentioned?” Shadowheart, upon quick confirmation that he was not injured, is quick to coax him for answers of his behavior. He’s a bit mortified as his little flustered fit had everyone around him.

“Tav, they’re– get this–” Wyll swallows, tense with the image of you squirming and dripping still on the front of his mind. “T-they’re hot.”

It’s a dreadful thing, he realizes later a split second more than he’d like, the silence that follows. Through the tadpole, they’ve seen what he’s seen; and judging from the atmosphere, they’re chalking it up to an active imagination. All but loud, with a lone cricket chirping in the distance. He shoots up to in an attempt to explain, but wordlessly splutters instead.

“So you’ve had your first wet dream, I take it?” Astarion scoffs, finding the dirt under his manicured nails more interesting than what the fiend had to say next. “Had an issue with morning wood, perhaps– or should I say, a hardened blade?”

“No!” Wyll refutes, now standing up with the help of Shadowheart. “I-I meant to say they’re hot, literally. They’re drenched with sweat, lookin’ like they’re about to keel over. You saw it, in my head, what they looked like!”

“Ah, yes.” The vampire recalled that vision. Though brief and concerning, yes, it was also undeniably delectable. What he wouldn’t give to have seen you writhing with want up close. But still, he slips his desperation behind a theatric mask. “Like a mutt in heat, how hilarious.”

“In heat.” Karlach had repeated Astarion’s words and bristled, her muscles twitching once but violently enough that it had them staring at her like they had been with Wyll. The look on her face tells everyone she’s had her eureka moment, a light flickering beside her head. “Tav is in heat. Of course they are; it’s breeding season!” She guffaws then, disregarding the disbelief of the party — save for Halsin, who simply nodded.

“So what you’re saying is we have a feral, unspayed animal amongst us for the time being?” Lae’zel grunted, though she certainly did not mind if the blush on her face was anything to go by.

“Mating season is upon most of the forest.” The druid responded, crossing his thick arms, ever the calm elf. “Given the... more animalistic features of some cambions, it is not entirely unreasonable. Given the intensity, it must be their first heat since you’ve all been on this journey.” The party gapes; Karlach nods, and though she does not mention it, she’s mildly disappointed your heat had not aligned with her rut.

“So, what you’re both saying is that they need to breed – or be bred?” Though the vampiric rogue balked, he was unable to deny the inkling of lust that washed through him at the idea. You, and your all proud visage crumbling into one of a desperate, slut of a fiend.

“Well, when you put it in such a frank and vulgar manner...” Gale coughs, flushed, Astarion notices, inwardly grimacing. The wizard’s never been discreet about liking your musk – and today, it is especially honeyed and heavy around the campsite. “Yes.”

And that’s when it hits the rogue, the shared tension and ignited lust in everyone – not just Gale. It’s a slow and heavy shift, like puffs of smoke. The current of lust in the air runs deeper when a small, inviting moan permeates from your tent. The sounds of heavy breaths and trousers shifting from around the party, it all goes unobserved to any eye that doesn’t belong to an experienced rogue.

Still, the rest would’ve been fools to think only one or two of them would be intrigued, he thought. It was with a silent agreement amongst them that by the end of this week, you’d be thoroughly savoured.

The first thing you wake up to is a dull ache across the expanse of your stomach, and a pool of your own arousal drenching the bedroll between your legs. Your bed-kissed face tightens, glaring down at the growing tension in your belly. A groan is torn out of your dehydrated throat – and if the obvious lack of sun on your tent was anything to go by, you’ve slept through nearly the entire day.

Fuck, what was going on? Distoriented, you attempt to sit up only for the dull ache to morph into heated convulsions that immediately spread like wildfire around your weakened body. It was then that you realized that to your utter horror, you were burning hot, to the Nines and beyond — as if you were forcefully thrown into an early heat.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. No. The edges around your vision blackened for a split second before you violently lurched yourself out of your too-warm, too-cramped tent, slamming your palms and knees into the dirt ground and digging your nails in, your mouth open to welcome the hot pants stuck in your dry throat.

You spat out a vicious string of Infernal curses, your focus blurring in and out of itself. You shut your mouth, biting your lip to keep in whimpers, sweat trickling down from your forehead as your mind fought in vain against the primal urges now closing in on it; the feral ache for relief deeming itself more important than reason.

Relief. Fuck, it sounded good right now. You hissed, your mental resolve crumbling, tail furiously lashing against the dirt. Relief. Your eyes darted around the camp anything that could relieve the heat in your loins; Shadowheart and her healing hands or a cool river stream to let the water wash over you, but fuck, you needed real relief. A body you could sink your teeth into and ride until the next morning – preferably Karlach, or Halsin–!

Thick, strong Halsin.

“You feel good, little one.” Halsin quietly groaned up from above you, touching you as if he’s been longing to.

He moves inside you; thick cock bruising your insides. Every open-mouthed gasp and hurt or pleasured cry was eagerly welcomed into his own mouth with wet kisses. He was unrelenting, but kind. Full of sinew your hands could run across or scratch in slight distaste if the fat tip of his length pressed a sensitive spot deeper than you’d have liked. And without fail, he had laughed everytime, gentle and light, even if his deep thrusts into your spent hole were anything but.

He must have been trying to burrow in you with how deep he was inside, letting you raggedly cry into the slope of his neck meeting the thickness of his shoulder. Halsin set out to plant an apologetic kiss into the crook of yours, fucking you deep until you fluttered around him, dragging him to his peak alongside you.

No, you winced, tearing your eyes open and your mind out of its lust-ridden gutter, the burn inside you relentless. No Halsin nor Karlach, not a single soul that could provide you relief to be found around camp — and damn them all, you were in no state to be crawling around searching for even the slightest whiff of their scent in gods know where.

Relief.

Yet another infuriating wave of heat rolled through you, forcing you to clench your hands and drive dirt beneath your nails. What remained of your rationality sought out to the crevices of your memories, ones that weren’t flooded of nightly trysts with the druid elf or — Rolan.

Relief – Rolan. A drop of your drool hitting the ground; Rolan with his horns you could grip and sharp teeth that could sink into your shoulder. No doubt warmly cooped up in Ramazith’s Tower, signing trades or shoving his nose in dusty books. He’d do, for tonight – he’d understand, indulge you and lift you from the unbearable heat clouding your head. He wouldn’t mind, you know it, because you’d be a blind fool to not see the way his eyes would fondly trail over your face, or the dips in your body.

He wants you, and for tonight, you will do him a favor and want him back.

You urge your trembling body to stand up and begin the treacherous trek from camp to the Gate’s city.

It was only the next night, moon high, that you sauntered into camp instead of out your tent, sporting a relieved glow, a fresh set of bites around your throat, a heavy limp, and of course, the hands of a flushed Rolan around your waist.

Your ragtag party watched from their campfire logs, a petty and envious air about them whilst the winsome smile on your face turned into an airy laugh as Rolan tenderly cupped your jaw with his hands, whispering something that had you curling your tails together. You shook your head and sweetly pecked his cheek as he nodded and bumped your horns together like lovers as a bid goodbye before stepping back to part ways.

“Well?” Karlach greeted with an amiable smile as you joined the group’s circle, having been worriedly sniffing around and asking for you the entirety of the morning; your scent lingering faintly around the air but with no continued path as to exactly where you were. She knew firsthand the extent of pain and delirium heats could bring, and god forbid you had fallen in the wrong hands.

(And thankfully, you hadn’t. She was simply glad you found someone trustworthy to mingle with instead of being alone.)

You scooched near her with a charmingly teasing grin, matching her liveliness, turning a blind eye to the tension in the air. “Well, what?” And before the red-skin tiefling could play banter with you, a certain rogue had pettily overtook the conversation.

“Well, did you enjoy your little fling?” Astarion dryly teased, a goblet of wine in his spindly hands and a sardonic smile on his face. He let the wine swivel for a moment. “Enjoyed playing charity, whoring yourself out?”

Karlach quietly called out his name in a disappointed manner, either to scold or deter him from what next he could say.

“What can I say?” You entertain his snark, peeking around the campfire logs for a bottle of blingdenstone blush wine; grabbing ahold of ot and pouring yourself a goblet. Taking a gracious swig, you allow the fruity taste to melt on your tongue. “My company is sought after.”

“Sought after? You amuse me,” The pale elf laughs, dry in a manner that has you eyeing him, his hand tightening around the rusted goblet whilst you set down yours. “Are you sure?” He asks, glaring. “I’d say it’s desperation, on your side of the coin – you’d spread your legs to anyone asking politely, darling.”

You scrunch your nose at that, the warmth and flavor of the wine turning cold and bitter in your throat.

The silence is almost hostile around the campfire – the crackling of it serving to make it less awkward. “Take that damn wine out his hands,” you hear Wyll whisper to a reading Gale and a Lae’zel sharpening her dagger – but both the wizard and githyanki don faces that tell you they aren’t approving of your escapade either. You allow your eyes a brief roam around all their faces; finding it tightened in displeasure.

You don’t feel so well, all of a sudden. Some part inside you chalks it up to the wine.

Save for Karlach who was nudging you with her tail, pleading you from the corner of her eye; asking you to back down from Astarion. Considering it was an option until he opened his mouth once again, his breath smelling of merlot wine. “You’re missing out, you know.” He hisses when you raise him a brow.

“These flings you have,” he eyes around the party, making sure to pointedly look at Halsin for a second longer. You’re half-sure he’d vex Rolan if he was here. Slurring, he pauses again to savor another sip from his wine. “They can’t give you something real.” Your eyes meet his, hesitant, reading the unsaid but he can in them.

“You...” You’re not sure if it’s a trick of the light, the fire shedding a hopeful glint in his eyes for a split second at your tender tone of voice, face softening at the way you curl in yourself. “You’re drinking too much.” And just as quickly as it came, it left.

Something heavy twists in your gut; and you can’t quite decide if it’s from the wine, the second wave of your heat, or distress. Silently pushing yourself off the log, you might as well to take that soak in the river that you’d been dying for.

(You’re not very surprised to feel the many eyes piercing through you.)

Shortly after you left the circle, Karlach had followed you, indiscreet. It’s a game of chase, really – and she’s hot on your tail but you just keep evading her when she thinks she’s got you, a hairsbreadth away from her hands. The way your shoulders tremble with little laughs from your lips are not missed by her, and if she were any closer she’d chase it with her own.

(She smiles, not seen through the dark mouth of the night. Was it her presence or the alcohol that has made you soft?)

It’s not a long trek to the lake by any means, the path obscured by dense foliage she’d occasionally lose you in. Within moments, she’s at the edge of the water with the gravel crushing beneath her boots, overtaking the slow stream of water you’re delicately undressing by. Her longing gaze lingers on the slope of your jaw, the fullness of your lips and the fresh, deep indents of teeth along your shoulder. She’s unsure of whether it’s from Astarion’s feeding or Rolan.

It’s only when you’re fully bare that you turn to face her, that same plush smile that’s melted the hearts of hundreds.

“Are you joining me?” The sweet lilt of your voice makes the gears stop turning in Karlach’s nodding head, her body moving before her mind to start peeling away at her own clothes at the appealing invitation; wading into the water with you as soon as she’s done. A snort is pulled from her when you playfully splash at her with your tail when you hear her behind you.

“Don’t play a game you can’t win, you little...” Karlach jovially returns the splash, inwardly rejoicing at your giggle; this little, shared intimacy is nothing new, but it makes her heart lurch all the same. What she wouldn’t give to have more time with you.

By the gods, she could never get enough of that you and your joy. Some selfish, unbidden part of her hopes you’ll take her up on Wyll’s offer on the path to Avernus, for the sole reason to see it just a little longer.

She shifts around for a topic to hear your voice a little more, “How is your heat coming along?” The smile on your face falters slightly at her choice of inquiry – but you relax instantly. She’s one of your dearest friends, concern is her second nature.

“When is it never dreadful?” You shrug, casual though your words ring true. An unmated tiefling’s pain during a rut or heat was nothing short of agonizing. She watches the nervous swallow bob in your throat. “But I had a little bit of help- from Rolan.”

“Ah, the new master of the tower, was it?” You nod at her, and it comes to you once again that Karlach was no jealous woman. She was glad you had your fill of enjoyment. “He looks smitten with you; are you courting him?”

“Huh?” Your tail whacks against the relaxed surface of water in disbelief, a flush festering on your disgruntled face. “It’s more like the other way around, he bumped his horns to mine earlier.”

Karlach guffaws at your distress, tearing up with her joy until her breath catches on a sweet aroma. She squints, cautiously sniffing the air, once, twice – and she looks to you, pursing her lips when she realizes it isn’t the fragrances you’re washing over yourself; it’s just you, or rather, the second wave to your heat. She hopes the hunger welling in her isn’t clear in her eyes.

You smell really good, she thinks as she chews on the inside of her cheek, staring at the dip of your back as your turn around. And you’re a really good friend, too good, maybe. She feels what she’s about to do isn’t very good.

Karlach doesn’t know what compels her to do what she does but she follows like it’s law; catching your wrist in her hand, capturing your jaw in her other and kissing you tender, swallowing the gasp that comes out.

It’s only when the air starts to feel thick with your heat and her lust that she pulls away, a string of spit following you both – and she’s already pulling away, horror welling up in her eyes but before she can grovel with apologies, you’re reeling her right back to your spit-slick lips with a moan so utterly full of want it has her pulling you closer.

“I can help you,” she murmurs against your taste before pulling away, your want reassuring her she’s got nothing to be sorry for. Your heaving breasts press against her face when she dips half of herself in the water to wrap her arms around your legs. She pleads. “Let me help you. Please.”

Karlach carries you with her muscled arms and settles you on the edge of a rock, softly parting your legs for you and making herself a warm home between them. The way she looks up at you gives you a bashful knot in your stomach.

“Do you want this?” She swallows thick, as if to wash away the heavy weight of her need, eyes situating her hands on your hips with a trembling but still dominant grip. “Use your words.”

You nod, frantic. Breathy pants now visible in the hot air. “I do,” your tongue feels weak when you speak, looking at her with dazed eyes. “P-please, I- I want it, Kar.”

It’s all the push she needs to lick a stripe up your slit, rendering you still when she wraps her lips around your clit and sucks. It drags a heavy moan out of you and it’s nothing but music to her ears. She hopes it’s the sound that greets her in the afterlife instead of angels with their harps or trumpets.

“Ahah,” Karlach pants, hot against your clit, and you look down to see your slick running down her chin, her tail pulling you closer by your calf while yours whips around. “You taste so fucking good.” She murmurs against you, sending an arrow of pleasure straight through your trembling spine that makes her dive right back in, tracing your fluttering hole.

She tongues inside your hole, moaning when it tightens around her, fucking and writhing it around in response.

If the heat wasn’t so heavy, you’d think she was tracing her name on your cunt. You huff, rocking your hips into her face as much as you can with her hands firmly clasped around your hips. Your hands find themselves around her horns and they gently pull her head closer to you, riding her face as if to help brace you for the knot snapping in your stomach.

Karlach takes a moment to pause, smiling with your heady flavor on her lips, chuckling against your core. “So needy.”

You don’t last long, not with her smile and teeth and tongue around your folds, no, and it’s a blind rush of time and hot white when your thighs tremble around her head, mouth dropping open in a silent scream.

“Karlach...!” You cry her name, cumming and convulsing around her tongue with open-mouthed moans. Her grip on you tightens, an Infernal curse leaving her as your slick taste floods her mouth. Her hands run over you, the small of your back, your hips and then to your ass, gripping the fat of it to keep you still while she laps at what little you have left to give; only giving in when you whimper and try to kick her away.

(In the rational crevices of your head, you’d hate to prove Astarion right about being a whore but fuck, does she make you feel good.)

It’s soft silence that fills the air, after you both cease your panting. You stare at the stars, head foggy with the orgasm that racked your body, humming when Karlach gently sets you in her arms again to wash your arousal away in the water while your head contentedly lies against her shoulder.

“Let’s get you to your bed, hm?” She coos, bumping her horns against yours – only letting you go to stand up again when she finishes washing and drying you, allowing you to clothe yourself. Time is a blur then, as you spend it aided to walk by her warm arms, staring at the intricate maze of foliage you’re surrounded about.

You’re snapped out your limping daze when you look around to see the foliage isn’t dark anymore, lit around by hues of oranges from a familiar campfire. Karlach grins, closed-eye as she squeezes you and kisses you warmly before nudging you towards the direction of your tent, quaintly lit up by a candlelight lamp you set inside earlier.

“Go inside,” she coaxes you, all-kind. It’s a certain emptiness you feel when you peel yourself away from her warmth with a whine that has her chuckling and pressing her lips against yours again. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

You do as she says, stumbling inside your tent and falling with a thud to your soft bed – but not without curling your lips into a loving smile, savoring the memory of her. It’s the last thing you see before you succumb to the hands of rest.

Fuck.

It’s the middle of the night when you’re next startled awake.

And it’s no surprise when you wake up to yet another surge of dull aching and your own arousal just starting to drip out of you. You waste little time; stumbling like a fawn out your tent, movements laden with the remnants of sleep –

You’re halfway out when your face slams against a body; lithe and cold, and in your sleep-ridden state, you could be convinced you just bumped into a slab of ice draped in flesh. But you urge your heavy lids to open up, to see the man, well, vampire you’d bickered with earlier, staring down at you from the very opening.

“Astarion,” you state, bleary-eyed and fisting your nightshirt closer; the fleece of it grounding you under his piercing gaze. Your heart is beating quick; a brief thought hopes it stays beating, and you will it away. You have half the mind to ask what he’s doing in front of your tent, but you have no time. The air is thick. The heat inside you is boiling. You need relief – Rolan.

“I...” Your words crawl in your throat, the line of your brows furrowing when you feel the familiar pinpricks of your heat pressing into you. “Please, move. I have somewhere to be.”

You almost feel small under the depth of his gaze; everything about him reeks of fury mingling with need.

“Off to find another bed to warm, I assume?” Astarion hisses with the slightest slur, the breath which he speaks out carrying the scent of fine wine – the air around him dangerous. Starving. He moves closer, and you, in all your confusion, slowly crawl back into your tent, unsure on what to fight first; the heat that consumes you or the danger you feel is about to overtake you.

“Astarion,” you mumble, this time with a bleat to your voice and your eyes wide like the lamb to be drained and slaughtered you feel you are. The air is heady; laden with fear and need thick like honey. Everything around you is too much. Where is Rolan? Karlach?

A hand tightens around your ankle, refusing to let go even as you yelp and watch Astarion force his way inside your cramped tent and crawls himself between your legs to nestle his face in the crook of your neck.

“No, no,” You whisper to him, shifting under him in a panic when you feel his familiar lips on your neck. “I’m sorry but you cannot feed from me tonight, Astarion. I need to leave, now.”

“I’m not here to drain you dry, silly.” Astarion’s voice is husky, breathy. It has you clenching your thighs around his hips; his hands clasp around yours in return. “Though, I am starving, I have something else in store for little you.” You grit in discomfort, the unease and desire a blend that you feel entirely drunk on.

(He would never admit it but that tender pit of terror in you has him salivating.)

“Leave...!” You hiss. He chuckles at that; the sound velvet-rich and grating, and does exactly the contrary – pushing himself closer to you until you’re chest-to-chest. You hate that you cannot see him tucked away to your neck. It does not help he is close to your raw, still-sensitive core; you have nothing on save for a long, flowy poet’s shirt thanks to a certain crimson tiefling.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. I can’t have you running off to somebody else.”

It’s then that you feel it; the press of a cruel, toothy smile against your throat and something of leather, something of warmth digging into the meat of your thigh. He is not here to drain you out of his anger, rather, he’s here to devour you, prey on you. You fear you’ve catched on belatedly.

“Mfh. I don’t want–” Your late, futile resistance is met with a finger to your lips, flushed thighs being pushed further apart as his hips slot between yours. Somewhere in the back of your muddled mind, you hear yourself keen with delight at the friction before he hushes you.

“You’re right, you don’t want it.” Astarion croons, watching as you writhe your hips against his for friction, as your bare cunt instictively grinds against the hot imprint of his still-clothed cock even as your head grasps for even a thread of coherence. “You need it, need this - need me.”

Your body does not deny his claim, arching your hips to meet his grinding, swollen folds clinging to his leather trousers – the pit in your stomach and the crawl up your spine indistinguishable between dread and ecstasy. The line of reason and morals are once again blurred in your head.

You curse yourself for having indulged in the alcoholic delicacy earlier. He’s emboldened by the wine; you’re weakened by it. The finger on your lips slip inside your mouth, firm on your tongue. You gag on it when his other hand clasped on your hip reaches down in between your legs and feels around for your, unsurprisingly, dripping vulva, the both of you gasping in delight.

“You’re soaked. What a fine surprise!” He chuckles, continuing to buck his clothed erection into your heat, petting your hair when you moan around his fingers. “I hope it’s because of me and not just your little heat.”

Your body is transparent, visceral with him, loyal to the promise of pleasure he can give you – even if your mind, what is left of your rationality indignantly fights tooth and nail to convince your body to stop giving in to animalistic pleasure.

It’s not long then, until Astarion becomes impatient, always having been; unlacing the ties on his trousers with one skilled hand and leaning over you to toss it off – it’s all too quick for your swarmed mind to catch up to, and the next thing you see and know is that you’re hissing through your teeth and thrashing while he pushes the burning head of his cock into you, hushing you as if you were a distressed animal. Your muscles tense, jerking away, a feeble little no on your lips—

But it’s an easy intrusion, a quick thrust into you is all it takes to bury himself deep with the help of your slick and his pre. He groans as, eyes rolling back as yours start to prick with tears, hold tightening on you as you whimper and turn limp like a ragdoll to his experimental thrusting. Some part of you wants to preen at the pleasure; the honeyed heat inside you pleased.

“Good- fuck, good pet.” He breathily murmurs, clasping a hand around your hip again; alternating between sensual grinding and abruptly slamming into you. All while he laughs and watches with a vicious smile as you’re torn between pathetically moaning and crying, the fingers in your mouth helping to muffle the sounds.

“See? Not so bad if you just close your eyes and give in.” He presses down particularly hard on your tongue when you wail at a sharp, unexpected thrust. He couldn’t have someone from the party playing hero. “I’m trying to help you.”

Tears sting at the corner of your eye, and you have no doubt you look pitiful right now - but fuck, he feels good. You don’t want to admit it, but you won’t deny it either; you needed this. And though you would have preferred to have it be Rolan, all gentle, rutting into you with sweet whispers and even sweeter promises, the heat in your body cannot be satiated with the tenderness he can give you. But you would rather stake him first than admit he’s helping you fill that gaping need in you.

“Astarion...” You furrow your brows and swallow around his fingers, your own life clinging to the back of your throat. It’s with a certain horror and desperation that you realize you’re approaching the edge faster than you’d like – and you know he knows, because he pulls his fingers out your mouth and presses a warm, spit-slick thumb to your aching clit. Your hole flutters around him, and you writhe around, the tightening burn of your incoming orgasm too much to handle. Pleasured, honeyed mewls are wrenched from you as his hips snap, driving his cock deep.

Astarion purrs – a hand on your thigh to help him slam into you, gripping hard enough to form bruises whilst the other was relentless at your clit. It’s with a shriek that you fall apart, seizing on his thrusts that only seem to quicken, the wet sound of skin on skin and your crying permeating through the entire camp, no doubt. He coos when a whine slips out of you, a tear gliding from your eye.

You’re seeing fucking white, blots of black dotted along your vision by the time he greedily slams inside you a final time with a low groan – something pleasingly warm filling you up, satiating you. Astarion holds your face and tugs it meet his for a breathy, passionate kiss whilst he twitches seed inside you - smiling in delight against your lips when you melt.

Relief is found; a warm glow settling on you despite your lids fighting their damndest to stay up. You’re a soft, slow little thing now, all but warm and ready to be taken by approaching slumber. Astarion gladly takes the chance to lie on his side and gather you in his arms, lips curving sweet yet again, but with less threat, as he watches you contentedly curl yourself up against his side. He sighs at the warmth that washes over him, thankful that fatigue has tamed you and fanned out that little spark and scratch you had earlier.

“Happy?” The smitten vampire asks, cheeky, smug as he pulls you closer into him, massaging your sore hips. “No need for you to go looking around for victims when you have me at your disposal, darling. I’d hate for you to lose sight on what really matters.”

You hum as if far away, you’d slap him in the morning that comes, but for now you’d let yourself be lulled into a soft, gentle slumber. A kiss on your head is the last thing you feel, a feeble little goodnight whispered.

[ender1821]

It’s too much.

It’s all just too much. The aftershock of thunder striking not too far away. The chat log of each and every death so far. The wild cards that piled on and on.

Her heart, having now found a permanent spot in her throat, keeps on drumming.

And her eyes, welling up with tears that she can’t shed, fixates on her communicator.

GeminiTay was slain by Vex

Of course, a part of her can’t help but wonder why she’s even upset in the first place. Why, when all Gem has done this go around was push her away, does she even care? Shouldn’t she be happy that her enemy’s dead? Shouldn’t she be relieved? Glad?

Why can’t she breathe? Why does it feel like an anvil’s been dropped on her chest, or a sword’s been cleaved through her ribs? Why is she just standing here and staring and not doing anything—

A familiar fizzle starts in her ears, drawing her attention to the new line of text on her communicator.

A wildcard is active!

Before Pearl could even react, the musical accompaniment to the wild card announcement blares around her, getting her to jolt up. The groan building up in her throat can’t quite make its way out, fighting a losing battle with the sniffles and shallow breaths she’s forcing herself to take.

Guess she can’t even have some time to herself without the Game ruining the moment, huh?

Still, her instincts kick in with the help of the scare she’s just received. She… She has to keep going. Figure out what wild card got activated, find Cleo, and then…

Then…

Well, she’ll figure that out later.

Judging from the music that played after the new wild card activation, it’s probably that superpower card that got played. It’s definitely one of the better ones to be played at the moment, compared to having another crowd of mobs or a snail chasing her. Now, she just has to see which power she got.

Here goes nothing…

An uneasy feeling pools out from her gut, but she concentrates on using her power anyway.

At first, nothing changes about her. No goggles, no invisibility—

And then everything goes dark.

She yelps as her line of sight reduces to what’s within her arm’s reach, unable to catch her breath as something— no, multiple things rumble beneath her— the ground shakes, crumbling away to welcome a cacophony of gurgles and grumbles.

“What the heck—” Pearl mutters to herself, blinking furiously in an attempt to clear her vision.

She stumbles backwards.

Her back hits a body.

So, she whips around to face whoever—

Scar?

And it’s not just Scar. It’s Lizzie, and Jimmy, and Scott and Impulse and—

Oh.

Had her mind been given some time to actually think and process everything that’s been happening, she’d have most likely made some comment on how the Game just had to mock her one last time by giving her the power to bring her allies back from the dead. The cruelty of it all would certainly fall in line with what she’s been through so far.

But she can’t even get a word out. A whole group of corpses are staring at her, waiting on her.

Waiting for a command. That’s what Cleo did with Mumbo and Skizz, yeah? Give them a command, and they have to follow it.

“Uh,” Pearl starts, her heartbeat reverberating in her skull. What can she tell them to do? She doesn’t even know what she’s supposed to do right now, let alone instruct a whole band of zombies! Oh, and their gazes do not help at all, by the way.

What would someone else do here? She’s seen Cleo summon their zombies a handful of times, maybe if she just copy whatever they did before, it’ll work?

“Kill, um…” Pearl bites her lip. “Kill Joel. Go kill Joel.”

A couple of the undead cheer at the command, immediately running off to who knows where, because Pearl has no clue where Joel is. Or why she even picked Joel to begin with.

What she knows is that the command worked, and the zombies are dispersing. Honestly, she could care less about whether or not the zombies achieve the task or not. It was more to get them moving, get them doing something. She’s got to make some use of them, after all.

It’s also nice to not have all her friend’s rotting bodies watching her. She doesn’t have to look them in the eye and think about how she’s failed them again. That’s always a plus.

Alright, she sighs, enough of that. Time to find Cleo.

Pulling herself out of the daze she’s found herself in, she properly scouts out her surroundings. There’s her group of zombies bumbling about trying to find Joel, and there’s the Tuff Guys off in the distance, then there’s Gem—

Then there’s Gem.

Gem, with her head of fiery orange hair dampened by grime, a splatter of dried blood stuck on her cheek, her clothes grey and her skin lifeless.

Gem, who died mere minutes ago.

Gem, who makes Pearl feel as though a hand’s been plunged into her chest, when in reality she hasn’t laid a single hand on her.

“Kill Joel,” Pearl repeats, knowing full well how frantic she sounds as she does so. “I said— I said kill Joel. You’re supposed to do what I say.”

Gem’s eyes are greyed out as well, devoid of that glint that flashes whenever she makes a snarky comment, or the hatred she’d used to aim directly at Pearl when she visited, or anything that makes her stand out.

“Can you just— go?” Pearl makes a step towards Gem, but it gets no reaction from the body. “Go, okay? Just go somewhere else. Shoo.”

Barely suppressing the whine in her throat, Pearl resorts to drawing out her sword.

“Oh, you just had to come back and do this to me, didn’t you? I get not wanting to kill Joel, but this—” Pearl makes a wild swing through the air, missing Gem by a wide margin. “This isn’t funny, alright? You go weeks pushing me away, hating me when I’ve done nothing to you, and when you’re red you wanna be friends again? And— And you couldn’t even follow through on that.”

She rushes forward, bringing her blade a hair’s breadth from Gem’s neck.

“Go.” Pearl holds her sword as still as she possibly can, but even then, she can’t stop the trembling of her hand. The wavering of her voice. “Go? Please?”

It’s pathetic how she can’t even command her own minion to follow her instructions. It’s just pathetic. She can imagine Gem making fun of her already. If she put more energy into it, maybe she could warp the taut line that Gem’s lip forms into a smirk. Just a hint, a corner upturned or an amused huff. Gem would be laughing at her. Teasing her. She knows Gem would be.

She tilts the handle of her sword just slightly. The blade kisses the body’s pale neck.

Why can’t Gem just react? Why won’t she listen to her? Why couldn’t they have tried a little harder?

“Why’d you have to die on me like that, Gem?” Pearl chuckles, a bitter thing that she swallows back down as she drops her sword. There’s no point in killing her now, anyway. There’s nothing more she can do.

Gem doesn’t say anything. Not that Pearl was expecting her to.

It’s pathetic, but Pearl slumps onto Gem’s body, burying her head into the decaying shoulder.

A pair of stiff arms wrap around her, awkwardly moving with death’s rigidity to attempt a firm hold on Pearl.

The embrace is cold.

[call-memissbrightside]

hi—

Katsuki would over compensate with toys, trips, candy, whatever to get his son Katsuma to like him…

Yet, Katsuma was his son, and he was stubborn just like his father

He wouldn’t bat an eye when Katsuki gave him a new game controller, nor with tickets to the amusement park

“Try harder old man,” Katsuma’s smirk was so much like his own it was jarring to the hero.

You felt bad, horrible because you could tell not being able to bond with his son that he just found out he had a month prior hurt Katsuki. You give him some guidance.

“Katsuma doesn’t like any of that stuff,” you speak softly as Katsuki packs up his bag of tricks. It was past 10 and Katsuma finally went to bed after his father awkwardly retold him stories of his early years as a hero. Katsuki and you worked out a plan that he’d but him to bed since his work hours mean he can’t make school pick up.

“He likes hiking like you, and he loves sharks,” you smile at the similarity betweeen the boy you loved and the little boy you created.

Katsuki was angry at you… for keeping Katsuma a secret from him. He was angry and hurt and didn’t know how his heart could still sting at the sight of you or the sound of your voice after five years apart. Here stood the girl who he thought he’d spend the rest of his life with, the same girl who lied to him and now what? Katsuki struggled to make sense of his new life as a co-parent, as a parent.

“Wouldn’t need fuckin pointers if you didn’t lie to me,” katsuki crumbled under his breath, defeated.

You feel like crying, the tears are there stinging at your eyes. “I’m sorry,” you repeat again and again, but you both know it doesn’t make a difference.

Katsuki didn’t like hurting you, even if he had every chance to rip you a new one. He just couldn’t, his heart couldn’t take it.

“ ‘s fine, don’t cry. I’m a dick, sorry,” he moves to leave your apartment, pausing.

“Hiking huh?” His little smirk makes you blush even thou you know it shouldn’t. Not anymore.

“Y-yeah, and sharks,” you point out dumbly.

Katsuki nods his head, “I can do hiking and sharks.”

[umemiyan]

𝗧𝗢𝗢𝗥𝗨 𝗢𝗜𝗞𝗔𝗪𝗔 𝗫 𝗗𝗢𝗠!𝗚𝗡!𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥. ⌇ 18+ only, mdni / reader is a lil mean / there’s one slap / oikawa is a crybaby

he’s left fully nude and exposed while you, completely clothed, hover over him like a cruel, untouchable deity. however, tōru can see the peaks of your nipples through the fabric of your shirt. he wants to suck on them.

you’re hand milks the tip of his cock with graceful twists and squeezes, coaxing needy beads of pre-cum from the swollen head. he quivers and drools beneath your touch, desperate to fuck his length further into your fist.

“say you’re sorry, tōru.” your voice brings him out of a daze, but before he can think to respond, yet another expert twist of your wrist has his eyes wanting to roll back.

“a-ah!” he sucks in a breath and tries to keep from bursting. why are you being so mean to him? he just wants to cum! he deserves to cum!

you bring your hand up to land a smack against his cheek—not hard enough to hurt too badly, but it carries enough sting to draw a whimper from him and demand his attention. “say you’re sorry for acting like a fucking brat and embarrassing me.”

big brown eyes well up with tears fueled by sensitivity and regret. why are you being so mean to him? well… he supposes he could’ve behaved a little better…

“‘m sorry,” he mumbles softly, struggling to swallow his pride and speak through the pleasure.

“what was that?” you ask, dissatisfied with his lack of conviction. you slow your movements down substantially.

“i’m sorry!” he says much louder this time, eager to win your approval.

“for what?”

“for being a brat!”

you offer a genuine smile when you see tears finally fall from his lashes. then, you lean forward and kiss him with all the tenderness you can muster, giving him his first taste of you thus far. tōru sucks in your affection like nourishment.

pulling back, you move your lips up to his forehead. “good boy. you can cum now.”

[rinneverse]

cw. gn!reader x wriothesley drabble, just a wee bit of being comforted by him, suggestive towards the end, minors dni please and ty :)

“baby, what’s wrong?” wriothesley asks, pulling the covers of your bed away from your face.

“nothin’, honey.” you frown as you're pulled from your cocoon and attempt to tug the covers back over yourself. he's stubborn though, only pulling them back when you try to cover yourself up again.

“nothin’ my ass,” he gently counters. the bed dips under his weight as he takes a seat on the edge, gently brushing his hand along your shoulder when you burrow into your pillows instead.

“seriously. just feeling a bit down, that’s all.” you sigh in defeat, voice muffled by the pillow you clutch tightly to yourself.

wriothesley gently coaxes you into his hold, settling against the headboard as his strong arms wrap around you. despite your grumbling, you nestle further into him.

“it’s okay if you don’t want to talk,” he starts, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. his usually gruff voice is soft, a tone reserved for you and you only. “but i’m here for you regardless. i want you to tell me if there’s anything i can do for you, alright?”

“okay. i will.” you mumble. your ear presses against the warmth of his chest, his steady heartbeat lulling you into a relaxed state as broad hands stroke your back.

“that's my baby.” you can hear the smile in wriothesley's voice, a soft murmur against your temple. he tilts your chin up with a calloused finger, trailing kisses along your cheek, the slope of your jaw, ending with a slow kiss against your lips that has you forgetting what was making you upset in the first place.

when you pull away, you catch his gaze, icy blue depths filled with such love and adoration for you that it makes you feel love-drunk. you pull him in for another kiss, soft and sweet, curling yourself into the warmth of him as he holds you close.

“i can fuck the sad out of ya, if you need,” he murmurs against your lips, chest rumbling with a chuckle under your palms as you rest them there.

you press your lips together to suppress a giggle as you look up at him. “you're a horndog, you know that?”

“only when it comes to you, dear. now, does that sound good? need me to fuck you better?” there's a glimmer of hunger in his eyes as he watches you, cool hands dipping under your shirt that make you shiver.

you press another chaste kiss to his lips before you reply. “okay. but i'll be real upset if this doesn't make me feel better.”

“oh, i promise you'll be satisfied—” wriothesley grins wolfishly, the glint in his eyes your only warning before you're being flipped, pressed into the bed by the delicious weight of wriothesley settling on top of you.

he kisses down the slope of your throat, gently nipping at your pulse point before he continues: “—you know i don't disappoint.”

please don't repost on other platforms. rbs and comments are super appreciated ♡ !!

[peddler-of-muck]

there’s this Hozier interview with Zane Lowe in which he talks about his process in deciding if something is worth making, in which he says:

“Does it feel like it’s worth making in the moment, does it feel like it needs to be made?

Yes

Do i find it beautiful?

Yes

Then it needs to be made. These are the two questions that are the absolute north for me in the making of something”

and i think you can pretty much apply it to any area in your life, honestly, asking yourself if you think your life is beautiful is a great way to know if you’re doing what is right for you, and asking yourself if it is worth it is maybe more important, so i wanted to share it with you.

[coddda]

Hiiiiiii. Episode 25/26 lawlight analysis rant thingy here. I don't know how to write an intro for this so let's just get to it LOL

I think one of the reasons that the rain/foot scenes stick out so much (the. Sheer insanity of a Foot Massage Scene in an anime revolving around two guys trying to kill each other aside 💀) is the fact that the anime specifically suffers a bit in terms of adapting a few of the "emotional" moments in death note.

And I don't mean "emotionally impactful" exactly. For example I think the adaptations of scenes like Raye and Naomi's deaths were very impactful and the atmospheres of their final scenes were great, but I mean more from a characterization standpoint (if that makes sense). Being more focused on mind and logic games, Death Note as a whole isn't as invested in individual characters' deeper feelings as it is in its action (which isn't necessarily a criticism per say, it's simply part of the nature of a mystery thriller series). But just because they're fewer and farther between doesn't mean there are none at all. In the manga we do get to see, for example, how much Light actually cared for his family and especially Sayu, and how he actually felt more conflicted and suffered lack of sleep/appetite when he first used the Death Note.

The anime specifically as an adaptation is pretty good at adapting the main mind fuckery and action of Death Note, but its lacking in properly adapting scenes like the ones I mentioned above is a criticism I see somewhat often, and it's pretty fair imo. Compared to all the other adaptations, it certainly seems to fall short on an emotional level: the musical has entire songs going in depth about the characters feelings and relationships, the 2015 jdrama is. Insane and has its emotional moments in spades (because it's a TV drama, which are more focused on portraying emotional conflict and the like), even the 2006 movies has its emotional beats and L Change the WorLd is. Well. Oh Man.

Anime Light to a lot of people is like. Light but he's "already evil" (which I have my own thoughts on but I digress). Light but after using the Death Note for like 2 minutes he's already like "fuck yeah time to kill criminals". Basically the anime doesn't take as much time to delve into his less cynical sides or really delve into his already vague and harder to decipher feelings in general, he is noticeably colder from the get-go here, etc.

But that's part of why I think episode 25 manages to stand out so much tonally (apart from it being, y'know, the episode L literally Dies). I love the episode so much and could probably rant for hours about how much I love the artistic choices made in it but what I'm trying to get at here is that it's one of the very few moments where the show tries to go deeper into specific character's emotions, and one of the very few moments where the show Attempts (emphasis on "attempts" because, well, you'll see in a bit) to get more in-depth into Light's feelings apart from his cynicism/apathy/justice. ness.

L in these two scenes in episode 25 is, well, pretty damn open about how he feels. It's usually interpreted as him knowing that he's going to die, and you can see it. He visibly looks/sounds lost, somber, etc. He never really had much to hide around Light to begin with (since he doesn't really care about hiding himself the same way Light does) but especially not now and it Shows, and I personally thought it was pretty cool to delve into his thoughts/show how he feels this way. The somberness can be felt throughout the entire scene, even people who don't already know the plot of Death Note from the manga could probably tell that he's about to die.

In the manga, once L starts suspecting Misa again and Rem realizes what Light is trying to do, it goes straight to Watari and L's deaths, but the anime instead gives a distinct and unexpected pause in the middle of this where L contemplates his own death. It's fucking great, and the shift from straight action to slower emotional weight makes these scenes stand out a lot, since, like I said, the show usually focuses more on the former. But it's kind of ironic, too.

Not only does the anime open up L's feelings more in these scenes, but it also tries to dig deeper into Light's feelings as well through L. And it's really funny honestly because while, yes, these are the more "emotionally open" scenes of the anime Light still manages to be Incredibly avoidant and contribute almost nothing to the entire ordeal.

L is visibly upset -> "Yeah Ryuzaki, you're not making any sense at all" (Not addressing the obvious conflict from L)

"Tell me, Light. From the moment you were born, has there ever been a point where you've actually told the truth?" -> "[The most stale, over-explained, avoidant answer to a "yes/no" question that you could ever hear + blatant attempts to reframe the question]"

(L's half-smile here kills me) "I had a feeling you'd say something like that" -> [Nothing]

"I'm sorry" -> [Nothing]

"It'll be lonely won't it? You and I will be parting ways soon" -> [Nothing]

^ From this point Light continues to say literally Nothing for the rest of the scene. I'm not even joking, from then on the rest of Light's voicelines are reduced to nothing but vague noises of confusion.

Everytime L calls Light out as a person ("Has there ever been a point where you've actually told the truth?" / "I had a feeling you'd say something like that." / "Won't it be lonely?") he doesn't actually acknowledge anything. Out of those three lines, he only answers verbally to if he's ever told the truth, and even then it's the most blatantly people-pleasing answer ever, as it usually is with Light. And I don't think it's because Light just. Doesn't care about any of what L's saying at all, or that he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about (questioning Light's authenticity as a person, saying it would be lonely when they part), instead he's choosing not to acknowledge any of what this means about himself or him and L at all. He's like a fucking wall.

And like, for the truth question in particular, the show makes sure that you know it's not something that Light just. Doesn't care enough about to answer. The hard cuts to silence are a very rare but extremely effective way that the show conveys an extremely important moment (see: Light regaining his memories, Matsuda noticing Light opening the warehouse door before he escapes (not as much of a "direct" cut to silence but still)), and cuts to multiple angles/framings/zooms of the exact same shot are also used for the same purpose (see: Light hugging Misa when she was crying, Matsuda aiming his gun to shoot Light, Light regaining his memories Again). Just like the scene where Light gets his memories back, the moment L's question finishes the show utilizes both. That question cut Deep. There's is a solid Almost 5 seconds of silence before the sound of the rain gradually starts fading back in, and honestly that should be telling enough as is (but of course Light doesn't actually admit that. Or anything at all really, so). Oh also another fun detail! We do not see Light's face At All (except for the shot where you can see his mouth moving but not his eyes), for the Entire time that he's going on his spiel to L. We Will Be Revisiting This Later, by the way. This is not, in fact, the first time you're going to see this detail from Light.

The only sort of reciprocation that we see from Light during Any of these two scenes is when Light dries L's hair while L dries his feet. Biblical meanings/references aside it's interesting because it's the only time he directly does anything "for" L in these scenes, but even then he doesn't try to pass it off as anything meaningful really the same way L does ("You're still soaked", a purely neutral and factual statement. It doesn't Add Anything compared to L's. Sin atonement loneliness grieving stuff. While Light is showing his own reciprocation to this more personal moment he also tries to keep it impersonal enough that it doesn't actually have to mean anything deep). And when L says "I'm sorry" after he once again gets no response from Light. It's also after this that L gets that pained look on his face, like he knows that at this point he's not actually going to get anything meaningful from Light (again, very significant and rare from L in the show. We've seen him in distress (see: when Ukita died, hell, when Watari dies), but even then he mostly manages to keep his usually neutral expression), we never see him "look sad" like he does here):

I just think it's interesting that this is one of the few scenes in this particular adaptation of Death Note where they try to open up the character's thoughts/feeling (especially considering the fact that they. lowkey blunder in adaptations of original scenes from the manga), and L himself is being rather open (not that he ever really tries to hide what he thinks nearly as much as Light), and yet all Light contributes to it in return is like. Actually nothing. Bro fumbled it. There is no resolution to any of this, to any of what L asks at all, to any of the many opportunities for a meaningful conversation, and the only thing even relatively close to an answer that you can get from Light is what you can infer from how he acts in the episode after L dies, where he's just going through the motions, but hardly acting as if he's actually living at all.

(Honestly I think the transition from this scene with the taskforce to the subsequent scene with Misa says enough on its own. Light's expressions and tone says everything:)

(Oh sidenote but. This shit again:

"Light, this is our first date in forever. can't you enjoy yourself a little more?" ('Why don't you seem happy? We can finally be together since L is dead') -> No response, Light instead changing the topic to him wanting to move in with Misa without changing his mannerisms at all

Also there's that one detail again. You pretty much don't see Light's expression when he speaks here at all, except for one shot of his eyes, which is quite literally the exact same shot they used when he "saw" L, just altered for the new setting. You have No idea what he looks like when he's responding to Misa, although it's probably fair to assume that it's the same empty stare he has for the whole Two Shots where you can clearly see his whole expression in the entire scene.

Something something Light Yagami bad at feelings I think you get the point though)

I guess Light's Kind of showing what he's feeling now? He'll admit to himself that it's boring without L, but no more than that. Light never actually admits to anything "significant", and L's dead already anyway, so what would that even do?

And then we get, uh. Basically nothing from Light. For the next 5 Years. Except that he joined the NPA, so, uh, yay? Good job, Light you totally nailed it! Thank you for allowing us as an audience to delve deeper into your inner thoughts and feelings as a character so we can find out more about you as a person! Very helpful! Thank you for not sabotaging one of your few dedicated opportunities to look into yourself as a person and reflect on your relationships with others and being 100% honest with yourself! We stay winning guys.

Anyway, this got way too long for a scene that's over a decade old, and I've probably just said everything that everyone else has already said in this fandom before. But unfortunately this has been living in my head for way too long and I must scream. I just think this episode's neat is all :)

tl;dr Part of the reason why the rain/foot scene (tbh episode 25 in General) stands out so much is because the Death Note anime specifically was a bit robbed in terms of its more emotional character moments compared to the other medias, which makes more somber/introspective scenes like the ones in episode 25 stand out a Lot in comparison. But it's also incredibly ironic because it's one of the few moments where the show (or specifically L) tries to look deeper into Light's character, but because he is so avoidant for the entire duration of these two scenes he adds basically nothing at all. It's almost funny. Mostly sad. It's also very gay. Aand post

Okay actually nevermind one more thing I talked about how the jdrama is supposed to be more emotionally in-depth because it is a TV Drama and just for the record, same thing happens there! I could probably do an entire analysis of the Blue Scene in this context like I did with episode 25 but I'd literally be here forever, so uh, just take this iconic line as my main example:

Same Thing. L's statement "I wish we could have met some other way" is personal. It's his own wish, his own regret that he is expressing to Light. While Light's reply obviously has that same regret implied it's also phrased in a specifically impersonal way. It's closed off. "This is the only way we could have met" it closes off the topic and simply renders L's wish as ultimately futile. Light does not say that he Also wishes he could have met L a different way even if it was likely impossible, instead it's a cold statement of cynical fact.

Idk just. Something something L being able and Willing to be more openly sentimental/emotionally open towards Light/about Light vs. Light's inability to be honest with anyone including himself and his own nature preventing any form of meaningful reciprocation. Something something self-sabotage, y'know the drill. God don't even get me Started on how sincere L's tone is when he says "It'll be lonely won't it?"(at least in the eng dub) in the anime I could talk about his tone in that scene for ages. Also yes all of this relates to L Change the WorLd too by the way. Don't ask how it just does okay.

I do think that scenes like these (rain/foot scene, The Blue Scene. Uh. L Change the WorLd The Novel Adaptation) show, at least in those adaptations, that L does genuinely care for Light, and show that he values him as a friend not just in the mindgame-equal sense but also just like, a more sincere sense you know. Idk if that made any sense and that's a whole other topic for another day but you guys just have to believe me on this one alright please please believe me buries head in hands. Okay post over finally thanks for coming to my tedtalk hope you enjoyed my very-unnecessarily long analysis of the week

[who-can-touch-my-boob]

<- Sanemi simp posts masterlist

Imagine Sanemi somehow accidentally ends up at a kindergarten. He doesn’t know how, but now he’s completely surrounded by children between the age of two to five-year-olds.

How he ended up there isn’t important.

What’s important is how he just immediately softened in their presence (despite being known to be a guy with a short temper, barks at everyone and looks scary). Because once those big-eyed, curious and innocent faces looked up at him, he just melts.

He swore he hated it, that the children were annoying and asked too many question. Yet, he always took some time off his day to visit them. With the blessing of the teachers, he took a small group of the oldest children with him to hunt for some beetles.

Sanemi would never for the life of him ever admit it out loud, but being surrounded by the kids just filled him with contentment he hadn’t felt in a long time. Especially when one of the shy ones who’d been hesitant at first to approach him, carefully wrap their tiny hand around his finger.

He kept visiting the kindergarten (and donated all his fortune to the school to keep it maintained and bought whatever needed). No one in the Demon Slayer corps knew about this life of his, he kept it well hidden just like he wanted to and preferred. It was his own happy place, where he could be himself and forget about the grief and anger inside him.

The children reminded him painfully a lot of this younger siblings and instead of being Demon Slayer, “Hashira” or “Shinazugawa”, he gets to be “big brother Sanemi” again. (You have no idea how fucking proud he was when he got the nickname, he’d been smiling to himself the rest of the day).

Once the war was over and the demons all gone along with his last family, Sanemi decided to dedicate his remaining years to the kindergarten. He didn’t care about being paid or anything — because he knew he didn’t have much time left and he told them that he wanted to give everything to expand it, turning it into a school and make room for more children and to employ good teachers.

To him being able to be with the children, helping them and seeing how much they love him. Really, really love him. He’s the one who taught them some cool fighting moves (for self-defense only of course), making ohagi with them and creating the enormous beetle-farm in the schoolyard.

Unbeknownst to Sanemi, but after his passing, the school built a memorial for him. Before Sanemi died he didn’t think anyone would hold a funeral to him or mourn his death, but if only he could see all those teary eyed and ugly sobbing faces of the children, preteens and teenagers who adored him…and the teachers, he’d realise how wrong he’d been.

The small kindergarten Sanemi had first stumbled into for reasons unknown had been small with only a few children. However all his donations and charity turned it into a wonderful place for children to attend and learn.

Because even if Sanemi grew up poor and could barely read, he was a firm believer in education for everyone no matter where they come from. So on top of not only helping the school expand and paying for all resources, he made sure that no child had to pay a dime.

Years after years pass, but the memorial built in honour of Sanemi Shinazugawa still stands proudly in the school yard. Younger generations that never met him, would be told about how they’re able to go to school thanks to him.

And as for Sanemi…

Let’s just say he had been welcomed with open arms in the afterlife by his family.

[oddlittlestories]

Wilson has destructive anger

Adams has destructive anger

Park has destructive anger

House has destructive and self-destructive anger

Thirteen has self-destructive anger

Foreman treats himself like a mausoleum where he buries his feelings

Cameron has self-righteous or wet anger, her anger also often masks fear or guilt

Cuddy has frustrated anger, but when her feelings get too big, they start turning in on herself

I’m really not quite sure what Taub is doing with his anger

Amber’s worst anger comes from seeing herself in someone (bad version) but she’s also capable of expressing anger in a healthy way

Kutner is similar. He gets angriest at the bullies who remind him of him. He gets angry enough to recognize his reflection, set aside his ego, and attempt to make amends. Amber needed help from House to face her feelings about the last diagnostics patient she treats. Kutner does it alone. Kutner is alone in his anger.

Chase expresses his anger violently a few times - punching House, getting into a knock-down drag-out with his former surgeon boss. But mostly, I’d argue that Chase shuts down when he gets angry. He’s not allowed to ask for better and no one’s gonna listen. This is just how things are. Chase has learned helplessness anger.

[youreyeson1y]

when no one is around, you'll find me on my tallest tiptoes (shining just for you)

pairing: bang chan x reader (you/your)

title: mirrorball by taylor swift (album: folklore)

cw: swearing, mental health (reader is emotionally drained)

synopsis: sometimes someone just needs to show up for you to realise that maybe even the end of the world doesn't sound so bad if they're with you. or, where chan sends you a text that makes you break down.

tags: comforttt, chan being the absolute sweetheart that he is, reader is the silent type who doesn't prefer talking about their struggles, unedited, lowercase intended, relationship is not defined so can imagine it however y'all want 🤍

author's note: this was heavily self indulgent because sometimes you just need the reassurance that it'll be fine. so to anyone that needs to hear it, whatever you're struggling with now, you'll just look back on it in the long run and be proud of yourself. i love you, and my dms are always open if you wanna talk <3

word count: 0.9k

enjoy !

"did you eat today?"

it was just a text. just a single text.

but you were surprised to see teardrops on your phone screen as you stared at those words for a solid ten minutes.

it was nothing out of the ordinary; chan was always checking up on you, making sure you were hydrated, got home safe, or anything and everything else.

but sitting in the hallway in front of your apartment door, with messy hair and crumpled up pieces of papers in your bag and your glasses resting on the top of your head, covered with dirty fingerprints... you felt pathetic.

chan was the one managing a world famous band, he was the one constantly producing songs or brainstorming ideas or working on their demanding choreography.

as you absent-mindedly scrolled up your chat, it was him who was constantly checking up on you and asking you the simplest things that held the deepest meaning.

and what were you doing?

letting some mundane crisis wear you out and come back to being the person you had tried so hard to escape.

the silent vibration of your phone made you wipe your tears with a shaky breath, and accept the call request with a smile on your face.

"hey man, how was practice toda—"

"i'm coming over with your favourite take-out, and you're gonna shut the fuck up for once and let me treat you."

"chan..." inhale. exhale. you could not allow yourself to cry in front of him.

he already had a lot on his plate with the comeback, he didn't need you to add on to that and ma—

"and if you need to, we can talk about your day, and i can tell you about mine, and we can laugh about the stupid things me and the boys did or how steve has been pissing you off these days,  or we can just not say anything and eat and go to bed. how's that sound, love?"

what did you ever do to deserve this man?

"where are you, chan? i miss you."

the elevator dings, making you look up and exhale, your whole body instantly relaxing at the sight of him.

"i'm right where you need me to be." he smiles, his dimples and tiny nose scrunch making your insides ache.

"i'm sorry," you almost felt bad because of how good it felt, having someone you care about meet you halfway. being taken care of. "you're probably so tired after practice, you really didn't have to..."

you didn't want to be a burden, but looking at the way his gaze softened and his shoulders relax as you meet his eyes, you realise...

maybe you could help carry each other's burden; together.

chan placed his bag on the ground and crouched down on the floor beside you, mirroring your position.

he saw your tear streaked face, and you remember telling him once how cringey you found it when male leads would enter like knights in shining armour and save the helpless maidens.

you wish you hadn't, because you really needed the saving right now.

chan smiled.

"you know," he started, taking your glasses from your head and wiping them on his shirt. "i had a pretty shitty day today. i mean, it wasn't that bad, but i feel like i could've done much better, that i couldn't give my best. and maybe we couldn't finish recording today because of my mistakes. but the weird thing is, i realised that i wanted to say that to you. and you know how much i hate letting people know that i messed up." he chuckled.

he gently puts the glasses on your face, making you look at him.

"i wanted to let you know that i didn't do well today because i knew you would not just cheer me up, but tell me to do better next time.

i sent you that text purely out of selfish motives, so that i could get a chance to talk to you. so honestly, you don't have to feel bad."

you hadn't even spoken a word since he'd arrived, but it felt like he understood you better than you could've ever put it into words.

"plus, i was craving some chinese anyway." he stood up, reaching out his hand to you. "so, are you gonna make me wait outside the whole night, or are we gonna get in?"

"chan," you felt... love. adoration. gratitude. he did have a way of making you feel things you didn't know you could feel anymore. "did you get those complimentary starters they give? i will simply not let you in if you haven't."

as you saw him finally flash his biggest smile at you, you knew you would be okay.

"who do you take me for? of course i did! and i was going to wait till desert but they may have given me a little somethin-somethin on the house as they were closing up their shop."

it didn't matter what you both talked about as you sat down to have cold take out food; why you felt like punching steve or how chan was having the time of his life trolling stays on his lives.

at the end of the day, what mattered was you knew he was there, someone to listen to you talk for hours and hours and someone he could fall asleep in the arms of, forgetting for a moment that he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

and thats how you know it would all be okay.

because even if it felt like the end of the world, there was someone willing to spend it with you.

a/n: comments and reblogs are what keeps me going so they are highly appreciated, thank you !

if you're going through something similar, please feel free to reach out to anyone, remember, there are people out there who love you more than you may realise.

untill next time 💌

bang chan masterlist

[christronomy]

he flips you over roughly, without warning, stuffing one pillow under your hips and another under your head, then lifts your hips up slightly, propping you up for him. you can't even move on your own at this point, your mind is hazy with him. everything is just him. he presses his free hand into your lower back to hold you in place, tapping his cock against your entrance a few times before slipping back in and continuing his harsh ministrations, no buildup. he knows you're already too numb on the pleasure to complain, but you love the pain either way.

you squeal in surprise, practically drooling onto the pillow already as he bullies into your aching hole with his cock. how he hits that spot inside you that makes you melt and get all dizzy with pleasure every single time, you don't know. but what you do know is that he was right. he's nowhere near done with you and you're learning your lesson. you're all his. he's not gonna stop until you understand that.

"you're all fucking mine, hear that?" he starts, as he flips you over yet again, this time putting your legs up all the way, as far as they can go, practically folding you in half. you look up at him with wide, teary eyes, body quivering from the impending orgasm he's been making you hold off for a while now. "channie's. all channie's. all yours," you mumble, your words slurring, and he chuckles softly, his chest swelling at how cute you look when you're dumb on his cock like this.

"'s right. and trust me, baby. once i'm done with you, you won’t have any space left in that pretty little mind of yours for anyone else but me."

[saturnslastgoodbyes]

“You are truly beautiful, Mon Amour.”

The cold, soft feeling of paint glided across your thigh, slithering down as the hunter before you smiled. Red targets covered your body, trailing from your lips to your hands.

Rook sighed, a more than satisfied smile upon his face as he gazed at the red covering you. “You see, I just can not help myself-“ He cut himself off for a brief moment, leaning in to kiss a small spot on your shoulder. Usually, such things would feel intimate; but instead, this felt more like a painting of love.

“These,” His breath hitched, lowering the brush to gently graze his fingers over you. Over all the spots he’d painted. “Are all blueprints of my love.” His hand finally reaching the target on your lips-

Rook smiled. “And I shall complete them.” 

And thus, the hunter leaned in, and claimed what he had drawn to be his.

[everpresence]

i don't know why some people demonize logic here. i guess it makes sense when it comes to the practical aspect (e.g., trying to figure out how your desires come into fruition in the 3D when it's really not your job to figure out the "how"), but we often mistake our limiting beliefs or our reliability on 3D as logic. true logic is rational thinking, and when logic is used in a way that helps you return to the state of wish fulfilled, it can actually be really helpful. let me explain.

when you find yourself fearing, worrying, checking the 3D, etc., then that is a key indicator that you're in a state of lack. that's when you have to ask yourself, "if i already am the person who has this desire, then does it logically make sense for me to worry about not having it?"

and when you contemplate on it by using logic, you'll realize that of course it doesn't make sense to worry about not having it. it's like when abdullah asked neville this: "if you already are in barbados, why would you be talking about going to barbados?"

so logic actually does help us recognize some weeds in our garden that is the belief system and throw them out. should you rely on it more than imagination? no. i believe that logic and imagination go hand-in-hand. instead of believing that logic is your enemy, you can choose to let it be your friend. it has a role to play, after all.

[whatisame]

Bartylus, baby!!!!

Summary: Barty is in jail and Regulus wants to break up with him. Inspired by that one Shameless US scene.

"Barty..." There are no words to describe what Regulus is feeling right now, holding a phone to his ear and looking at Barty through the stained glass.

"I did it myself," he smirks proudly like it isn't obvious with his wobbly R and smudged g. Regulus is going to kill himself. And then Barty. Don't ask how.

What were you thinking?

Why are you making this so hard for me?

"That is not how you spell Arcturus."

"The fuck it isn't." Barty frowns and looks down at his bare chest. "A-k-t-u-r-u-s."

"I think I would know how to spell my own middle name, Barty."

"Fuck. Are you messing with me right now?"

"Are you?! Who the fuck gets a prison tattoo? Do you know what kinds of infections you could have gotten? Did you even sterilize—"

"—So you don't like it, is that what you're saying?"

"Jesus Christ." Regulus runs his hands through his hair, a fruitless attempt at soothing himself. "Whatever made you think that I'd like it?"

"I don't know, Regulus, the fact that it's fucking romantic?" Barty stared at him with raised eyebrows and Regulus resisted the urge to slam his head against the glass. "I was thinking that once I got out I'd have enough practice to make it look better, maybe even move on from the rusty needle. Then maybe I could give you one of my name. Maybe of my face? Definitely of my ass."

"I'm so not doing that."

"I'm kidding! You don't have to get one of my ass. Although, I must say, you're kind of missing out."

"I will not be getting any tattoos in your honor, Barty. It's over."

"What do you mean?"

"You and me. We're over. We're bad for each other, B."

It was startling, Barty's face changing from his usual couldn't-give-a-damn expression to something so solemn. Regulus had scarcely seen it happen over the course of their friendship. He saw it once, when he'd found out about Walburga's anger issues and how she chose to deal with them. And twice, when he'd pushed Regulus away after their first kiss.

And now, obviously.

"You don't mean that," he says gravely.

"I know we're not boyfriends, I know you hate that word but I thought—" Regulus takes a deep breath and makes himself look Barty in the eye. "I know about Evan."

It's funny. How Barty doesn't even try to deny it. Then again, he didn't think he would.

"Fuck," is the only thing he says.

Regulus agrees.

"I just came here to say that, so..." he grimaces, almost hanging up.

"Wait, Reg!" He sees more than hears the words leaving Barty's lips. He picks up the phone again. Barty is silent on the other end.

"What?" Regulus snaps. It irks him how the other boy enjoys making things harder for him. He knew how much this meant for him. How much he meant to him.

"Just–Don't go." Regulus scoffs. "I'll be your fucking boyfriend or whatever. I don't care but— Stay."

"That's exactly the problem, B. You don't care. I like you—"

"—I like you too!"

"Well I like you more! Clearly! I have been at your beck and call for months and you might pretend like you don't notice and everything is the same and we're still the Barty and Regulus from years ago, but we're not. I'm not. I refuse to spell it out for you, B, so read between the fucking lines."

Barty is silent for a long time before he speaks. Something about the shadows lurking in his eyes makes Regulus lean closer. Everything about Barty is magnetic, and he fucking despises it.

"I know," he nods slowly, "I have always known I don't deserve you. This is not me pitying myself, I know I'm a fucking scumbag, I'm proud of it. But Reg. Fuck. If you could see yourself the way I see you... Well, you'd freak out. I'm properly mental." He chuckles half-heartedly. "It's actually fucking annoying having you running around my head all day. Pretty sure my cell-mate thinks so too. Any day now he's gonna stab me in my sleep with my soap-knife—"

"—Your what?"

"It's a knife carved from soap. Don't worry about the details," Barty says, waving a hand dismissively. "My point is he's told me I'm getting on his last nerve by talking nonstop about you. Or at least that's what I think he said, half of it was in Spanish so, you know..."

"Oh."

"Yeah," Barty says while scratching the back of his neck. He avoids Regulus' searching gaze.

He knows he shouldn't press. That Barty is uncomfortable right now and that to leave it alone is for the best.

And yet...

"What do you say about me?"

It makes Barty throw his head back with a laugh. "Oh, baby, you'd be surprised."

"Well, go on." Regulus twirls the cord around his index finger. The one with the ring Barty gave him. "Surprise me."

"I talk about you at lunch, and make sure everyone knows how much I miss tasting your delicious food."

Regulus laughs but it's more of a punched breath. Barty practically bites through the spoon whenever he offers him a taste.

"I talk about you in the yard when I see the ridiculous cliques and know they'd make you laugh."

Barty describes them for him. He hates that it does make him laugh. He tells him he should join the retired christian hitmen. Barty disagrees, but only because he's forming his own clique.

"I even talked about you when some guy tried to beat the shit out of me. Told him how you weigh half as much as he does and could still kick his ass easily."

"Barty," he chastises. Try to stay out of trouble, he'd told Barty when he first visited him. To which he had replied, Don't worry, I'm going to make prision my bitch. It had done nothing to put Regulus at ease.

Barty smirks. "Shut up. You're flattered."

It makes him snort. Not bothering to deny it.

"I don't talk about you at night but that doesn't mean you're not up here being a little shit." He taps his forehead with the plastic phone and smiles languidly. "You haunt me. I want to know what you're doing, who you are with, it drives me up the walls."

Regulus swallows hard.

"I think often about how I'm here for you. And eventhough I know you hate me for it, I'd do it again. And again. I'll always look out for you first, Whiskers."

"You shouldn't."

"You see... I knew you would say that."

Regulus isn't surprised. They know each other better than anyone else.

"I'm still gonna do it," Barty adds, shrugging. "Even if you get rid of me."

"Like I could," Regulus scoffs. "Fucking parasite."

"Good," he declares. "Now, about Evan—"

Regulus' throat constricts. Right. He'd forgotten for a moment. Evan accidentally let it slip, how he spent the night at Barty's some weeks after their first kiss.

"It's over. I promise. It's been over for a long time. I haven't been able to–ehem–perform with anyone else since we..." he trails off but Regulus got the gist of it.

"Are you kidding? That was months ago!" Barty looks mortified which makes Regulus feel quite accomplished. Barty is naturally unashamed, unbothered and proud, and Regulus feels a rush whenever he manages to get him to snap. Pressing his finger on a bruise has always brought him pleasure. "Don't tell me you were suddenly feeling shy?"

"Fuck you, first of all. I don't want to talk about this."

"Did little Jr miss me so terribly he had to go into hiding?"

"Yes he fucking did!" Barty screams, all loud energy and electrifying gaze. Everything Regulus is fundamentally against concelead in a grimy boy who happens to be his favorite person in ths world.

"So you must like me a lot, huh?!" he goads.

"Yes, you asshole! Very fucking much!"

Regulus chuckles, chest warm and pleasant buzz under his skin. "Adorable. I guess your dick isn't the only thing that went soft."

Barty crackles at that, flipping him off as he laughs.

"I hate you so much," Barty mutters when the shared laughter dies down.

"Yeah, I know." Regulus smiles, gently tracing Barty's stupid tattoo with his eyes.

Regulus Akturus Black

"I hate you with my bones."