#and i work full time! something she can't do because of HER mental health!

[questionableratatouille00]

ʜɪɢʜᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʟʟ

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: In an effort to get the two of you to bond, Tony Stark sends you and the ex-assassin Bucky Barnes on a road trip together. The reason? You hate each other. The situation? Two weeks in a car together. The reward: three days of a resort vacation. And the problem? He's kinda cute.

Warnings (Entire Series): Enemies-to-lovers, cursing, sexual tension, angst, fluff, crying, fighting, violence, chaos, mentions/talk of trauma, discussions of mental health, and potentially more.

Warnings: Enemies-to-lovers, sexual tension, cursing, arguments.

[Series Masterlist]

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝑻𝒓𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝑨𝒊𝒏’𝒕 𝑩𝒊𝒈 𝑬𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒐𝒕𝒉 𝒐𝒇 𝑼𝒔

“It’s just two weeks, Buck. You’ll be fine.” Steve attempts to reassure his best friend, though it doesn’t seem to be working. “She’s really not as bad as you make her out to be.”

Bucky says nothing, rolling his eyes instead. "This whole idea is a waste of time. I'm not going." He grumbled. Stark had the grand idea to send the most incompatible people in the entire Avenger's Compound on a fucking road trip.

"You have to go. Tony said it's non-negotiable. I'm sure she doesn't like the idea either, but there's nothing we can do about it. Just...try and make the best of it." Steve offered, tipping his head and shrugging hesitantly.

"That's easy for you to say. You don't have to actually go." Bucky grumbled, stuffing more things into a suitcase. Steve was supposed to be helping, but he was really just there to try and convince Bucky that this was for the greater good, or whatever. Something like that.

This was going to be an insufferably long two weeks.

"Two weeks and three days. Three days of actual vacation! This is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard. Nat, you gotta get me out of this." You pleaded with the Avenger.

"Already tried. Tony won't budge." She gave an apologetic shrug. "Maybe you'll find out you share a lot of common interests."

"Right, because me and the ninety-nine year-old man are basically twinsies. Thanks, Nat."

"Maybe you'll just decide to fuck halfway-through." Yelena interrupts. "Like, full-on go at each other. The tension is very strong. Very strong." Her accent is thick as she digs through your closet.

"She's right, I've read too many romance novels to know how this turns out." Kate agrees, judging your shoe collection.

"What? Ew--God, no. That's...so fucking disgusting to think about." You shudder. "He's a total asshole."

"He's not so bad." Yelena shrugged. "Helped take down the Red Room. Good enough for me."

"He can't be that bad, right? I haven't really talked with the guy, but he seems chill." Kate ponders.

"What they mean to say is that it will be fine." Nat attempts to assure you, spinning you by the shoulders to face her.

"I hate him and I hate everything about it." You rage quietly as Yelena stuffs shampoo and conditioner into your suitcase. You were packing one suitcase and one backpack. Yelena, Kate, and Natasha were supposed to be helping, but they were really just goofing off and occasionally helping you grab something.

"The trip isn't even worth it, anyway. One week of driving to get there, three days of the actual resort, and then a week back. It doesn't make any sense." You tried to reason.

"The whole point of the trip is to get you two to bond. Or at least to not bicker and argue over the comms during missions." Nat rationalized. "It'll not only be good for you two, but for the team as a whole."

You thought for a moment, considering it. You could agree that the idea made sense, but still. He was a dick to you most of the time, so what was the point?

"Fine." You said. "But if he starts shit, I'm not going to let him walk all over me."

Sighing, Natasha nodded.

"If he pisses you off, just kill him--very easy. You know how to do it." Yelena stated ever so casually.

"Yelena!" Kate and Natasha exclaimed at the same time.

You scowled as you loaded your suitcase and backpack into the backseat of the truck. You even made sure all of your stuff was directly behind the driver's seat. Your seat. You were going to drive.

Bucky Barnes, seemingly getting the message, put his singular suitcase behind the passenger side.

Tony and Steve stood outside the huge garage, watching as the two of you loaded up the truck. Tony had bought the truck a while ago, but he never really ended up driving it often. He thought it would be perfect for this trip.

"Don't die, if you sleep in the car make sure to lock the doors, get a motel when you can, stay safe and have fun, blah blah blah, don't crash my truck." Tony told the two of you. Steve gave him the Eyebrows of Disappointment before turning back to you.

"Please don't kill each other. Stay in a motel or something when you can." Steve quickly hugged Bucky goodbye, stepping inside, and you turned to walk to the driver's side.

"What're you doing?" Bucky asked from behind you.

"Getting in the car?" You snarked back. The way he had asked his question annoyed you.

"I'm driving." He declared.

"No you're not. I am. You watched me put my stuff behind the seat--my seat!"

"I am driving the damn car. Move."

"No you are fucking not. Get your ancient ass to the passenger seat." You growl.

"Your driving is shit. Move out of the way before I make you." He says, sharp blue eyes glaring straight into yours.

"What're you gonna do? Throw me?"

Without saying a word, he put both of his hands on your biceps, squeezing lightly, before slightly picking you up and moving you to the side. He did it so easily, too. Most likely due to the serum, along with the vibranium arm. You felt the rage seeping into your body, and just before you could throw a punch, Tony called out from the door inside the garage. "Take turns, losers! Jesus Christ."

You both look at him as he says this, before looking back at each other. Shoving him out of the way, you open the truck door. He sticks up both of his middle fingers as he walks around the back of the truck. As you buckle your seatbelt, you consider just backing up the truck as he walked behind it. He wouldn't die. He probably wouldn't even fall over. It could be a total accident. A little oopsie, if you will.

Just before you could ponder the potential attempted murder, Bucky opened the passenger door, hopping into the truck. You plug your phone into the truck, putting on your favorite playlist. The one Bucky hated. It was a very personal 'fuck you' to the Super Soldier sitting next to you. He looked like he wanted to make some kind of comment, but he didn't.

Pulling out of the huge driveway, you knew one thing for sure.

This was going to be a long two weeks.

Day One

A/n: This has been in the works for a while. And while the anniversary has technically passed, I do feel like rebooting this because it’s very dear in my heart. I kept most of the text the same for this chapter with a few minor edits.

Taglist: @afraidofshrimp @laughterafter @cjand10 @kandis-mom @emmsybucky@mrsnotfeelingsogood @matchat3a @identity2212 @ilovemcuff @unaxv

note that this is the only series I’ll be doing a taglist for, but let me know in the comments if you’d like to join!

Reblog if you enjoyed!

dividers by @saradika-graphics

[formyloveoflove]

The Bear S3 and the Choices We Make

Ok. After a second watch of S3, I'm feeling a little bit more optimistic about the future. Trust - it's a sad ending. It's my worst nightmare for Sydney. But there's still hope, and that all lies in what Carmen and Syd decide to do next. Season 3 Spoilers - read at your own risk :)

In S3 E10 Forever, we see our two mains go through a breakthrough. Starting with Carmen, he finally confronts his former boss (who has a name, i think, but fuck him, I ain't using it). It's the first (and only time) that we see Carmen proactively voice his resentment. He avoids his mom (rightfully so imo). He never got the chance with Mikey. But he approaches him, expects the man to have repent (maybe), or at the very least, have a little remorse.

He doesn't. He regrets nothing. In fact, he takes credit for Carmen's success: his hard work, his skills, and his talent. He tells Carmen that he should be thanking him, and that's not even the worst of it. No, for me, it is when he says

Carmen: My life stopped. Chef: That's the point, right? [...] You wanted to be great. You wanted to be excellent. So you got rid of all the bullshit, and you concentrated, and you got focused, and you got great. You got excellent. It worked. You're here. Look at all this

Sound familiar? It should. It's the same sentiment that Carmen said in the Season 2 finale. Remember, he said,

I wasn't here. Right? What the fuck was I thinking? Like I was going to be in a relationship? I'm a fuckin' pyscho. That's why I'm good at what I do. That's how I operate. I am the best because I didn't have any of this fuckin' bullshit, right? I could focus, and I could concentrate.

Carmen's thoughts about himself aren't even his own. They were drilled into him by a man who wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire. He was emulating the abusive behaviors and patterns that crushed him, that gave him "uclers, panic attacks, and nightmares" on the people that he cares about. On his sister, on Richie, on Tina and Marcus. and especially on Sydney, who is the only one who knows exactly how bad it can get. He's hurt those closest to him. He hurts them daily. And for what? And for why? For his own ego.

And this realization leads us to Carmen's first cry.

For three whole seasons, we see this man lose his idolized brother to suicide, witness his alcoholic mother physically, emotionally, and mentally abuse him, and experience mental degradation to the point where it affects his physical health. Not once did he shed a tear. This is the first time Carmen Berzatto lets himself cry. And I think this is the best thing for him. If he chooses to acknowledge the err of his ways, turn back course, and begin again, I think The Bear could be what he wanted it to be. He needs to decide to stop running, stop fighting himself and everybody around him. He needs to let go. Let it rip, right?

However, if this is what he decides to do, the cards ultimately fall into Sydney's hands.

If anybody's been through hell and back, it's Ms. Sydney Adamu. All season she's been forced to work in a volatile environment, putting herself between Carmen and whoever's the victim of his anger. She has her ideas shut down, her skills demeaned, and her credit is outright non-existent. Staff keeps quitting; they're not making any money; and Cicero and Co. is doing some shady background shit.

She's trapped, but not really. Not until she signs that Partnership Agreement. But like she told her dad in S2 E9 Omelette, she doesn't think she has another one in her. She can't have The Bear fail like Sheridan Road. She doesn't want to make the same mistakes she did last time. She wants to grow and learn and make her mark on the industry - prove she's not a failure.

She's waiting for Carmen to make good on his promises from The Table Scene, but he's not.

"You deserve my full focus." But his focus is not on her. Remember the Carmen that noticed when something was off with her? Remember the "say more?" or the "what's up with you?" Remember when they worked together, when the menu was truly theirs? Where was Sydney's "margin" moment? What did Carmen do this scene that signaled to Sydney that he was there and present.

"I couldn't do this without you." He does everything without her. Don't even get me started. From the menu to the list of nonnegotiables. Syd gets to make no decisions after being forced to make ALL the decisions. What is she there for? To be Carm's wrangler, his doormat? What has he does to convince her that she is invaluable?

He's egotistical. He's verbally abusive. He's the exact person that she warned him not to be. That he assured her that he wouldn't be in S1 E3 Brigade. She said,

You know I think this place could be so different from all the other places we've been at. But, in order for that to be true, we need to run things different. [...] But you just didn't really listen, and if this is going to work the way I think we both want it to work, I think we should probably try to listen to each other. The reason why I'm here, and not somewhere else or for someone else, is because I think I can stand out here. I can make a difference here. We could share ideas. I could implement things that make this place better. And I don’t wanna be wasting my time, working on another line or tweezing herbs on a dish that I don’t care about.

He didn't follow through the first time, so she left. But now, it's different. She's put her blood, sweat, and tears into this place. She's made a place (a home even) at The Bear. Leaving is not as simple anymore.

S1 Syd would've taken that CDC offer in a heartbeat. But building something and it failing (like The Bear. like Sheridan Road.) is terrifying. Slowly but surely, Carmen has been chipping away at her confidence and her fire. So much so that good things, like The Offer or the review of her risotto from The Beef, don't feel like good things.

Sydney's Panic Attack is HUGE for her character. We see Sydney at her lowest: her most frightening and vulnerable. She's uncertain. She's in a constant state of panic. And the person that she trusted with her fears and insecurities facilitated this, drove her to this point. It's heartbreaking. I cried when I saw it. No one would blame her for jumping ship. At this point, I encourage it (but she has to talk about it, acknowledge it. no running).

Now, if Carmen decides to change his ways, he'd have apologized to Sydney twice without changed actions. She'd have to believe him after many, many broken promises. At this time, she doesn't trust him, can't rely on him. But when having to decide between staying or going, will she try to trust him again?

Will she? Should she?

That's where I'm at so far. I have more thoughts, but I'll write those out when I get back from my weekend trip.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making my family eat my mother's terrible cooking?

I (32NB) currently live with my father (70M), mother (68F), and brother (36M). My brother is disabled and requires at least one full time caretaker. Up until recently, this was me. First, my mom and I were sharing the duty, but then my grandmother got sick and my mom left, leaving me working, going to school, and taking care of the house and my brother by myself most of the time. It's worth noting I'm also disabled (physically and mentally), I just lived on my own from 16-27 so I got used to dealing.

Now my father has moved in with us and is taking care of my brother which is a huge relief. My grandmother died and my mother is back and helping as well! As a result, and out of the severe damage all the previous work did to me physically and mentally, I have removed myself ENTIRELY from caretaking from my brother. I don't do SHIT anymore. I will occasionally make him a sandwich or something if I feel up to it. So this is where the assholery might come in.

My mom… cannot cook. She is terrible. I mean it. Whatever you're imagining: worse. I regularly impress one of my friends (just the one, I don't want to bad mouth her excessively) with tales of her horrifying abominations. Yesterday she cooked tilapia in MELTED. LIME. POPSICLES. because she thought it would give it a citrus flavor. She did not use other seasoning (no not even salt). We have lime and lemon juice in the fridge!!!

I used to cook at least half of the meals, and often would help mom with dinner when it wasn't something boxed, to avoid such… creativity (and because half the time when she cooked I couldn't stomach it). But now due to health issues (caused by illness caused by overworking), I'm buying my own food and cooking all my own meals regardless, so I have fully stopped cooking for the family because I can't eat what they eat and we can't afford to all eat what I eat. I am subjecting my poor family to lime popsicle tilapia. We are wasting food because she ruins it and then no one will eat it, at a time when eggs are like $8 a dozen. My dad cooks when mom's not here (he's GOOD) but when she is, he lets her.

AITA? Should I bite the bullet and start cooking for everyone again?

What are these acronyms?

[leillaaaa]

𝐑𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐓𝐞𝐫𝐮

I find it strange how people assume that Teru could easily change his mind about supernaturals since I honestly can't see him budging much. He, as a character, is very grounded in logic (when it comes to supernaturals), only going off emotion when Kou or someone he loves is involved. He probably had to separate emotion and feeling from thinking through things logically, ever since he started working in the Minamoto family business.

I'd say, in my personal interpretation, that he thinks this way because he has seen how dangerous supernaturals can be. He has probably experienced something like he thinks Kou did - he thought a supernatural was his friend, it was harmless, it wouldn't hurt anyone if he didn't kill it ... and was proven wrong. The amount of bloodthirsty supernaturals he's seen is also insanely high. I think him distancing his emotions lessens his guilt of killing them if he seems them as simple, one word concepts and objects. If they're objectively evil or "not living," then it's easier for him to deal with them and have it take less of a mental toll on him.

It's interesting to think about how his relationship with his family so heavily influences his relationship with supernaturals. I honestly just can't think of a situation where his mother is a "good" Mom. There's been flashbacks where Teru, as a child, was fighting supernaturals larger than even the mermaid Hanako fought in the first episode or any of the mysteries and supernaturals Toilet Trio has faced so far. There's also panels where Teru, as a child, was wearing bandages over his hands and arms - proving he at least got a little bit scraped up. Maybe even burned himself with the staff like Kou did. What kind of mother would allow her six to ten year old son to be hurt like this, knowing she could stop it?

Yes, this was absolutely in the timeframe of her being alive. The Minamotos' mother died around the time Tiara was born, which was around when Teru was around eleven years old. She most likely wasn't even sickly at that point, either. She, in full health, allowed for her son to be harmed. I could see Teru trying to hide his injuries to not worry anyone, so he wouldn't be a burden, but come on - she's his MOTHER, I think she would notice something like this happening.

Even if she was the one bandaging his wounds, that honestly doesn't make it much better. She would be fully aware that he was getting hurt and still unhelpful towards Teru's issue. There may have been backlash from the Minamoto Clan and her husband if she tried to withdraw him from training, but the conclusion is clear: she failed to protect her son. It is clear it was a difficult situation, however, and there was not much she could do.

I imagine their relationship like this: Teru thinks that his mother loves Kou and Tiara more, because Kou reminds her more of herself. Teru also seems more like their father, in her eyes. And Teru ends up seeing everything as a burden he must bear, because he is the eldest son. Since that is what he was taught.

Teru honestly has bad mommy issues ... not just because his mother is dead, basically ... I also think it humanizes the mom more if she had some flaws, because the Mother Kou saw in the Red House was an idealized version of her that he remembered. (As in, all her flaws were washed away.) I think it would be interesting if Teru's perception/memories of her were the most realistic to her actual character, and he both hated and loved her. He longs for a mother's love that he never really properly got. But he also resents her for dying and leaving him, Kou, and Tiara, for "not loving" him in the first place. So he has pretty complicated feelings on her.

Obviously, she wasn't a horrible person. She was a loving mother and tried her best. But she also was far from perfect, I think.

I would sum up their relationship through cooking. I don't know if this makes sense, but to me, Teru's horrible cooking skills seem to stem from a lack of interaction between him and his mother. She spent time teaching Kou how to cook, but neglected teaching him. I think it shows sort of subtly that she just ... didn't really form a strong bond with him, and kind of brushed him aside out of guilt. Kou, she saw as the one child left she could protect. In a way, Teru is almost like a Kannagi - a sacrifice for the Minamoto Clan's sake.

Teru shoulders the burden of being the Minamoto Clan's weapon - the perfect exorcist. His worst fear is probably Kou or Tiara having to take his place. Especially since Tiara is powerful, and they seem to start exorcism training at around six years old.

I'm kind of sick of this fandom acting like Teru barely has any trauma/getting him wrong so that's what this ramble is for ...

( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) 

Anyways, Teru lovers mutual me pleaseeee !! ‎٩(⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)و*̣̩⋆̩*

[thollandneedy]

Burnout- Peter Parker

A/n: I think i turned this fic too personal. Sorry not sorry

Warnings: Language, mentions of burnout, mental health awarness Peter being the best bf ever

Summary: Peter comforts you at the end of college exams

Don’t forget to share, like, comment and leave your ideas here

Bellah’s Masterlist 🪻

Y/n seemed on the verge of breaking

Her semester at university was coming to an end, exams seemed to be the only thing on her mind and her parents were asking her about her position in life, telling her that she needed to mature.

Her computer was full of open tabs of slides from past classes, notes and video lessons to help her catch up on the subjects she had missed during the week she was ill. Even her work, which was something she loved, had become a burden. The girl was sitting on her dorm bed, wearing warm socks and a sweatshirt stolen from her boyfriend. Her eyes, through the lenses of her glasses, were irritated and hurt from reading so much, and then the words no longer made sense. The girl closed her laptop tightly, placing her two palms over her eyes and huffing to herself. The day was rainy, cold and apathetic, making the student's situation even worse.

Three knocks on the door, and then the voice of her boyfriend Peter.

“Hey, can I come in?” The brunette asks, slowly opening the door and finding a room with two beds and several posters on the cream walls.

“Sure. Gaby's in the library studying for her psychology exam.” Y/n mentions, looking at the empty bed with light sheets and a pile of clothes that should be in the laundry.

Peter agrees with a quick smile, slipping his hands into the pockets of the dark gray pants he's wearing along with a dark green sweatshirt.

“I bought you skittles,” the brunette says, taking the colorful package out of his pocket and handing it to his girlfriend as he approaches her.

Y/n crosses her arms after taking the food and placing it on top of her laptop, receiving a lingering kiss on the top of her head. Parker sat down next to the girl, smiling to himself when he realized she was wearing one of his sweatshirts, but then fading away when he saw that she was on the verge of tears, pressing her lips together and taking a deep breath. Peter knew she was stressed, but he always allowed her to come to him when she needed to. The problem was that Y/n never liked to cause trouble for others with her personal problems.

“ Sweetheart…” Peter put one of his free hands on the arm of the student, who put her face between her own legs as if in a cocoon. “Do you want to talk?”

“I'm just tired.” Y/n says in a muffled voice. “My parents and I are constantly fighting about 'I need to grow up soon', I can't seem to get on in life compared to the others and everything tires me out too much, no matter how much I don't do anything. Gaby told me that I'm having a burnout and I need to rest, but I can't rest, especially now that I'm taking my final exams for the Christmas break.”

“You need to rest, and you know very well how to do that. If you don't have mental health, you won't be able to do well in the exams and that will frustrate you even more because your study will have been in 'vain'.

“You need to rest, and you know very well how to do that. If you don't have mental health, you won't be able to do well in the exams and that will frustrate you even more because your study will have been 'in vain'.

“My mind won't stop. It's a different problem every time.” Y/n raises his head, wiping the sleeve of his sweatshirt across his red nose.

“And that's life.” Peter moves closer to the girl, allowing her to snuggle into him and his embrace, which causes the voices to quieten. “I can't always save everyone, and I have to live with that too. It's not my job to keep all of New York safe, because I'm only one person and I need a break too. Everyone takes the burden they can handle.” Peter says, looking at the girl on his lap.

“I know. But it is shit,” Y/n says between sniffles.

“I know it is, but you're not alone in this. I'm sure your classmates' parents also fight with them about various things you don't know, and that many of them leave in the middle of class to cry because they didn't do well in their exams. This is completely normal. What you need to do is not give up, because if you do, you'll never get anywhere.” The brunette recalls his girlfriend.

“I'm sorry about that,” Y/n comments, turning away from him. “And for the sweatshirt soiled with crying and nasal secretions” The girl laughs between sobs.

“It's okay. I deserved it after sitting on your new hair claw” Parker agrees. “Do you want to go out and do something? I've finished studying for calculus and I have the afternoon free to spend together. Or we can study more if you want.” Peter gets up promptly.

“It's cold and raining outside.” Y/n looks out of the window, watching the thick drops fall against her window decorated with flower pots.

“We can stay here then. Or we could go to the back of the library to watch movies on the Ipad.” The boy comments, showing another alternative.

Y/n smiles, realizing how lucky she was to have someone looking out for her

“A coffee would be nice.” Y/n agrees, wiping her tears once again on the hem of her sweatshirt and getting up from her bed.

Peter picked up the laptop and some notebooks that were scattered on his girlfriend's bed, organized them and put them on his study table. The brunette opened the girl's closet, choosing a pair of warm boots and a black scarf to wear under his sweatshirt. Y/n straightened her pillows and stuffed animals, smoothed her hair and headed towards her boyfriend.

“Here.” He hands over the scarf, then kneels down to put the boots on his girlfriend, who smiles at the action.

“I love you, Peter.” Y/n takes the brunette's strong hand.

“Me too, Y/n.” He kisses her lips briefly, opening the dormitory door and closing it behind him as soon as the room was empty.

[ryuzakemo128]

Grim Reaper Part Four

Pairings: Poly 141 x female reader / female reader x her mental health x konig

Content Warnings: Kidnapping, breaking and entering, mention of one-night stand, pregnancy from one-night stand, mention of past divorce, mention of miscarriage, possessive & obsessed Austrian man.

Words: 959

Masterlist - Prequel - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Part Nine

Supernatural AU - Poem

Credit for Dividers: @cafekitsune + @strangergraphics

Summary:

Frustration chewed on their bones.

Where are you?

Where did he take you?

Why aren’t you here?

Why did it say you were here?

They assumed you would be there inside the cabin inside the cabin. Near the edge of the Alaskan woods.  Hoping to find you there. Anxiety gnawing at their insides. The possibility of not finding you there. Lingering at the back of their minds. Lurking there like a wolf stalking them from the shadows of the trees. What if they didn’t find you there?

God, forbid they didn’t find you there. The fear of not finding you inside the cabin, the thought of something or someone else being where you were instead. What would they leave behind inside the dark room if you were not there?

“We need to prepared for the worst possible outcome. We don’t know what we’ll find inside that cabin. And it would be unfair for you to have false hope.” Laswell told the four of them. As the plane landed on the large, open snow.

As the plane touched down. They couldn’t help but feel suspicious. It was far too easy so far, like a demon searching for a soul to taint. Hope slowly slipped from their grasp as soon as it came. Snow crunching beneath their feet, hushed whispers of a hope that you would be there. Wind howling like a wolf howling on a full moon.

Frustration chewed on their bones.

Where are you?

Where did he take you?

Why aren’t you here?

Why did it say you were here?

Photos of you alone in different places. Dangling on fishing line from the ceiling. The walls covered in photos of you with each of the task force 141 members. Along with a recording of a low, male Austrian voice. “It seems like you had taken hold over my wife. She might have told you she left me. But in my heart, I have never left her. She’ll be fine.”

Price’s heart leapt into his throat when he heard your voice in the background, “I divorced you last year. You don’t get to come into my life again just because you feel like you own me. You have no claim over this child I have inside me. Furthermore, you chose to have an extramarital affair for six years. No one forced you to.” Her voice weak from the stress, overstimulation, and possibly stress.

Soap couldn’t listen to the rest of it, walking into a different room to calm himself down before he did something he would regret later. He didn’t want to let his anger rule over him to the point of ruining the hope of ever seeing you again.

The thought of you out there alone with your ex-husband and abuser. It was more than enough to send him spiralling. He didn’t want to visualise you out there alone somewhere. Running out of time. Fast. Faster than they thought they would.

The projector inside the empty living room of you in a sunflower dress at twenty-four, long before you met them, during the time when you were still married. The day you found out about the affair and the number of time he cheated on you. The recording of the conversation you had with Soap and Ghost in the small kitchen played, “I feel like an idiot for believing she was just a friend, and it was a onetime thing.”

Ghost replied, “I'm sorry, but you can't keep blaming yourself for this. You didn't do anything wrong. He's the one who cheated on you. It's not your fault.”

Soap nodded in agreement, “He's a piece of work. I'm surprised you didn't leave him sooner.”

“He doesn’t know that I know yet.” You revealed. “I don’t know if I want to confront him first or have a back-up plan beforehand.”

Ghost was the one that suggested the cabin in Alaska to get your bearings before confronting him. “It will put enough space between him and you.”

“Are you sure?” You asked him, the sound of clinking of a fork against a plate.

“Alaska is thousands of miles away from Austria.” Soap explained the thought process of moving to Alaska.

“Then its settled. I’m moving.” You said with finality. “Thank you for making this decision easier. You are a blessing that keeps on giving.”

Soap chuckled, “Don't mention it. We’re just happy to help.”

A bittersweet recording brought a smile on Soap’s lips, his eyes welled with tears when he heard it play back in the back of his mind. The teddy bear you were going to give your first child before you miscarried the first time. A giant pink teddy bear you kept on the sofa.

The cabin starting to feel more like a tomb for a missing woman than a home. Walls closing in on them like a hug from a person that didn’t want to let them go. Gaz found the phone he got the signal from, underneath the porch. The last call from Austria.

“Could he have taken to Austria?” Gaz asked Price and Laswell. “He must have set up the photos and everything to throw us off thinking we'd stop looking for her," Gaz continued. "He's a clever bastard."

Price nodded, his face a mask of grim determination. "He's also a dangerous one. We need to move quickly. If he's taken her back to Austria, we don't have much time."

They don’t have enough time to sit there and wonder of the possible what if questions. Not anymore. The more time wasted is more time searching for you. Yet they still didn’t know how this man found you. Whoever he was. He knew you better than you knew himself.

A chilling thought. There couldn’t be any other reason why this would be anyone other than your ex-husband, Konig. A colonel from Austria you were married to for almost ten years.

[nadinescholtes]

Q&A

About sending Asks:

-No NSFW, AI, NFT stuff

-don't send me pictures of your Ocs, it’s very sweet of you to want to show them to me, you are doing great! But my inbox gets easily full of them. Same with if my OCs would meet/befriend your Oc. Don't DM them to me too, they are full!

-I don't do requests! You can always commission me if you want me to draw something for you. Responding with art is something I do on my own.

-If you ask something that was asked already many times I will most likely not respond.

Can I draw or write something about you Ocs or Oc's universes?

Go for it! Just add credits please, and tag or send links to me so I can see them.

Why don't you answer my asks or DM's?

Sometimes Tumblr is weird and Asks just disappear even though my Inbox says there is still something in there, but doesn't show up. My asks or DM's can be too full and it takes time to respond to all of you. Or you ignored my Ask rules.

Do you write fics?

Not really, I do write stories but not in the way you're used to fics. They're like scripts because I write those before I do comics.

Can I repost your art?

No, even if you credit it! You can reblog here on Tumblr or Bluesky. But I will not allow it because of Art theft!

Can I use your TSBS or Laia comics for Dubs?

Sure, but please ask first and use credits! Even if you make a Dub of an already dubbed video of my comics and that creator gives you permission, ASK ME TOO PLEASE! And send me links I want to see it. But don't use comics like Cool Uncle or from other books!

Can I use your art for AI or NFT?

HELL NO!

What is your gender identity/pronouns?

I'm a woman. My pronunciation is she/her, but I'm also comfortable with they/them. (I actually don't care about what pronouns you use for me)

What do you use to make art?

-IMac that is over 10 years old and can't handle much anymore.

-Cintiq UX21 gen2

-Clip Studio Paint

-Krita

Do you do livestreams?

I wish and I tried but my old computer gets easily overheated.

What is your job?

I'm an independent illustrator (but still part job hunting). I draw commissions to pay the bills and hold my head barely above the water. And no I don't earn money with the TSBS comics, they are drawn with the little free time I have. (or in the middle of the night, because I can't sleep)

Did you study art?

Yes, I made my graduation in arts and a bachelor of arts in communication design. But to be honest I learned how to draw on my own.

What books did you work on?

You can find them in my portfolio. I had many book/comic commissions and a few of my own like Cool Uncle.

When will the next page of Cool Uncle come out?

I know, 12 pages are left for me to draw, but commissions come first. And right now I have a strong obsession with TSBS and work on those in my free time, so I will work on Cool Uncle when I have the motivation again.

Are you neurodivergent?

Yup, I have Autism and a learning disability. And other mental health issues I won't go into depth here.

How old are you?

Old...

You have so many websites, which are you most active on?

Tumblr and Bluesky, the others are just for dumping my art, and will most likely not or late respond to the comments and Dm's there.

Do you have Kofi?

Kofi, here you go! I also have a Patreon but I post there rarely...

[origamimissingno]

Why do you like lily orchard?

Simple answer: I just do, Lily is cool

Full answer under the read more

The full answer: I've watched Lily for years. I've been there through the majority of these accusations and saw first hand how bullshit they all are. I've watched people dig up obviously doctored screenshots and get called out for lying when they try to defame her, I have been there through so much, plenty of which I shouldn't have been because i was a minor at the time, as a background observer.

The best way to put it is like a kid who's watching their mother be abused by their father, unable to do anything at first, but once they're older they can speak out against the abuser, and watch their mother get away and become a better person for herself

I was there for the shit with Josh and Brittany and Lizzy, just, most of those assholes really

And I was also going through my own shit with someone who was actively trying to harm my image in the eyes of others because they felt jilted by me even though the worst I did was breakup with them because I couldn't stand their controlling behavior anymore.

While those subhuman beings insulted and spread lies about Lily, the same was happening to me, except it was irl, and someone I thought I could trust was waving around the fact I was raped and telling people that I was asking for it and liked it because they wanted me to be seen as untrustworthy and a bad person in the eyes of our classmates.

I experienced first hand a similar experience while also having to deal with the second hand bullshit from the arrogant trash that don't count as human who attacked Lily. I wasn't even an adult the first time I was attacked for liking Lily, I simply shared a video of hers and take a random guess which bitch that coaches minors into doing her bidding sent her drones after me.

I have been there in the background of most of this shit that I know their shit is fake, and that they only think Trans Girl Bad, because of course they do. Those birdshit for brains can't come up with a legitimate reason to hate Lily so they make up lies and either barely or don't even try to hide their transphobia.

This woman has made me realize I deserved better, this woman had been the only constant when I was in a dark place, this woman was the one I felt like understood me for the first time despite not even talking to her until I was 19, I was able to find myself thanks to her. I was able to realize I was in a bad situation because of her, I was able to realize I needed professional help and find the strength in me to live again because I saw how happy she was with her wife and friends and I wanted something like that

If it wasn't for Lily, I wouldn't have gotten into therapy. And by proxy, Lily is the reason I didn't kill myself in Junior year of highschool because I remembered her talking about people needing to go to therapy for shit like this. So instead of killing myself I held on, called my therapist, and booked an appointment. No one else I watched actively at that time spoke about mental health and doing things like seeing a therapist, my mom didn't believe therapy worked so she didn't want me in it,.I pushed for it because I remembered Lily had mentioned it could help. And it did. And because of that I got to watch my baby brother grow up, and become a little shit that I would burn the world for.

So, yeah, I like Lily Orchard

Why wouldn't I?

I wouldn't have gotten the help I needed if I didn't.

[yandere-fics]

♡ How They Act With A Darling With Separation Anxiety ♡

♡ Miriel herself tends to be anxious when separated from her darling, of course she'll allow you to be separated from her for periods of time, as much as she really doesn't like it when you go out alone and will pout and whine if you do, she allows you to with certain rules set in place. However if you don't want to go out without her then she'll be thrilled, she no longer has to whine and cry at your feet when you tell her you're going outside, now you're the one whining and crying at her feet, not that she enjoys seeing you so distraught, don't worry babe! She can work from home from now on, you'll never be separated again. ♡

♡ Unlike Miriel, Eliza doesn't have the privilege of working from home, she has to go out for work and as much as she tries to soothe you about this and be right against you when she gets home, nothing really helps, this really makes her feel like she's failing her job as your loyal wolf, I would not recommend this for the person with separation anxiety, honestly terrible for your mental health and for Eliza's cause she constantly feels like she's going to cry when she's outside because she's failing you. ♡

♡ Selene never has to go anywhere except the gods conference once a year and even that she can bring you to. She really enjoys having you attached to her all the time. Be warned though, since you seem to always need her, it means she's going to drag you with her on her runs, hold onto her back so tightly or you might fall, she really enjoys how tightly you cling even though you're crying about how scared you are of all this but you still chose to wrap your arms around her shoulders and hold on tight every day so you must not be as scared as you claim to be. ♡

♡ Kassien probably handles it the best out of all of the mates, she takes you with her instead of keeping you cooped up in the apartment with her all the time, she doesn't want you completely isolated, sure she doesn't let you talk to others much on these outings but she still wants you to experience things in spite of this problem. Her office is crammed full of things for you to do and she takes you out on very regular dates and holds onto you very tightly during these dates so you won't feel too anxious. ♡

♡ Might be worse than Eliza when to comes to this, at least at first. High ranked angels often leave their mates back at camp when they have to go fight and defend the territory and while she really enjoys having her mate near, if her mate isn't near she just deals with it until she can get back to you again so she doesn't understand your freakout about being away from her, at first she assumes it's something she can just adjust you to but when she realizes it's not going away she keeps you extra close, congrats now you get to nap on her lap while she's working, you won't get an inch away from her, she'll even wrap her wings around you if you seem slightly anxious. The downside is now she has to get in the bath with you every single time you do. ♡

♡ Runa is the queen of separation anxiety, sure she does leave your side to go kill but she's shaking and anxious the entire time until she returns to you and needs you to assure her, she even gets anxious when she has to go into her long sleeps and she won't be able to follow you from room to room in the apartment. This is not a super good situation for you cause of her long sleeps, sure she's there but you can't speak to her and she can't hug you back for the time being and when she does wake up you need food money which means she has to go pick a target but when she is awake and with you, her attention is solely on you to make up for it. ♡

♡ Nora is a pretty good one for a person who has separation anxiety, she doesn't have to go outside even very often, she's mostly going out when you're asleep so you might not even notice she ever left. You having separation anxiety does make her feel so can let go just a literally bit more with her tendencies and she's way more likely to tie you up and say crazy things, it's not like you'd leave anyways if she let herself get more possessive, you can't leave the house without her without bursting into tears, she gets to keep you forever. ♡

♡ Sawyer enjoys having you need to always be with her, especially in her heats, in her heats you aren't even allowed to move an inch away from her so it works out perfectly, honestly you having separation anxiety is probably her fault since she stuck you in the isolation room, once you do have separation anxiety though she'll have to find another punishment cause seeing you sob and scream like that makes her feel like perhaps the punishment is much too harsh. ♡

[thewalrusespublicist]

do you think John had BPD?

Hi anon!

I wasn't sure about answering this one because of the ethical difficulties but I think it's okay if I make it extremely clear that I am not a professional, I do not have training in this area, I do not know the individual personally and anything I say after this point can only be taken as speculation and opinion, not as a certainty. A lot of conditions have significant overlap with each other (C-PTSD and NPD immediately come to mind in John's case) which is why John would have needed to be assessed in a clinical setting. We also don't have any way to see if he had any abnormalities in his brain structure, particularly in the the amygdala, the hippocampus and the orbitofrontal cortex that are associated with BPD.

All that out of the way, for long complicated reasons I am familiar with BPD and in my view, yes John Lennon had BPD; to the point I think of him as almost a poster child for the condition. The reasons I think this are exhaustive, but I will break them down using the symptom criteria for BPD as set out in the DSM-5 as well as looking at an overview for the risk factors involved in developing BPD.

Risk factors:

Risk factors for BPD are both environmental and genetic. For genetic it is hard to know as we don't have full details on John's parents but Julia's own instability suggests that there may have been some genetic factor at play.

Environmental - environmental risks factors for BPD include:

Being victim to emotional, sexual and verbal abuse - we know John suffered from at least one of these. On the emotional front you had his biological parents force him to choose between them, his aunt Mimi being incredibly controlling and giving him the silent treatment as a regular punishment as well as getting rid of his dog as a manipulation tactic. I have no doubt as well that Aunt Mimi could give him a verbal tongue lashing when the mood suited her.

In terms of sexual abuse, it's not something I've brought up before as it's too dark and I don't have enough to back it up but there's something very murky when it comes to John and sexual boundaries with relatives. The repeated allusion to abnormal sexual relationships between family members in Skywriting bothers me. It could be John just being a wind up but it's always lain at the back of my mind as something potentially not right there. His poor sexual boundaries with his mother as expressed in his audio diaries is a hard one as she didn't play a traditional role in his life and it's actually quite normal for developing boys to sometimes get those urges as their hormones are going nutso. The only reason I raise it here though is that John shared a bed with his mum and her boyfriend until the age of five. Considering Julia was not the most responsible, I wonder if John witnessed some things in that situation he shouldn't have. Its deeply speculative but it's just a point that my brain can't drop.

Being exposed to long-term fear or distress as a child - John was distressed and confused about his unusual living situation and apparent abandonment by his mother. The death of his uncle was also a massive strain.

Being neglected by 1 or both parents - whilst the situation was complicated, Julia did leave John alone for long stretches of time whilst she worked in a bar and Alf was mostly absent apart from the Blackpool incident where John was forced to choose between his mother and father. I know aunt Mimi stepped in and did not physically neglect him (emotionally...) but these formative years are crucial.

Growing up with another family member who had a serious mental health condition, such as bipolar disorder or a drink or drug misuse problem - John doesen't seem to have had this save potentially what was going on with Julia.

Again from my own complicated history with the disorder, I know one of the risk factors is the individual growing up in and environment where affection and attention is inconsistent and feelings are not recognised . To my mind John experienced the physical inconsistency of his mother and the emotional inconsistency of Mimi.

So going through the list, John had nearly all the environmental risk factors for BPD and potentially some genetic factors.

Now let's look at the symptom criteria.

DSM criteria:

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment - reported repeatedly by classmates and friends. I can't find it right now but one school friend talked about John was extremely anxious about people leaving and would ask exactly when his friend would be back to spend time with him. If the account of the diaries are to be believed he was preoccupied that Sean and Yoko were going to leave him. One can see his entire break-up behaviour as one big desperate attempt to avoid being abandoned by his friends by leaving them first.

2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation - treatment of Stu, Paul, Yoko and Sean is just textbook. His relationship with Paul is particularly illuminating: one minute he's god, the next a fallen idol. Elliot Mintz talks about John's view of Paul changing 'minute to minute'. Yoko too was his life, his world, the air he breathed but then he would scream at her and test her. He had no measured conceptualisation of close relationships, they had to be absolutely everything, otherwise they were fake/phony.

3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self - See dependence on others for identity, and continuously moving to new personas or fads as a source of stability. The Mirror, Mirror Dakota demo is essentially a song describing this sensation.

4. Impulsivity in at least two potentially self-damaging areas (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating) -all the ones listed John partook in.

5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures or threats, or self-mutilating behavior- don't know about this one. Not reported but doesen't mean it didn't happen.

6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and rarely more than a few days). - John's mood swings are infamous.

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness - doesen't speak to it overtly I believe (could be wrong) but his constant attempts to find a new thing to 'save' him as well as his chronic swings of depression I think suggest this may well have been true.

8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights) - again, infamous for his wild temper.

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms - we joke about John's paranoia for a reason. For dissociation he potentially talks about it in Hunter Davies:

''If I am on my own for three days, doing nothing, I almost completely leave myself. I’m at the back of my head. I can see my hands and realize they’re moving, but it’s like a robot who’s doing it. I have to see the others to see myself. Then I realize there is someone like me so it’s reassuring.''

He also talks about seeing the world almost as if its a hallucination or a surreal fantasy which could be dissociation or the hallucinations that can happen with BPD.

You need five of these symptoms to meet the criteria for BPD. On my count John has at least seven and likely eight of the symptoms. BPD would explain his difficulties in his relationships, mood swings, constant seeking for the next big 'thing' and 'wild behaviour'. John also had narcissistic tendencies which would also make sense as Cluster-B personalities tend to have comorbidities or traits from other cluster B disorders.

I want to again stress that whilst there are clinicians that agree with me, I am not in any way qualified to make any diagnostic judgements, this is purely fan speculation. Nor does matching symptom criteria necessarily mean that John had the disorder or that his behaviour can't be explained by other mental illness'. For example, if you put John's behaviour up against a checklist for narcissistic personality disorder, he would match eight of the nine criteria. I personally believe that BPD fits John better than NPD as John was capable of (diminished) empathy and still capable of loving people past their use-by date, despite his desire to banish those feelings. But still the possibility of alternative explanations is there and I'm in no position to dismiss it.

That being said, I still believe the evidence is there and I wish it had been feasible for John to get a diagnosis to better understand himself and his responses. In that way he could have understood that he wasn't wrong or evil, he was just traumatised and his brain and behaviour had developed in a way to cope with the trauma. John was an immensely talented, funny, charming, generous, kind person who was adored by those close to him. At the same time due to what I believe to be his condition, he struggled to maintain these relationships and was liable to lash out despite his best efforts to improve. John didn't want to be angry, he tried to seek help, he just looked for it in the wrong places. Who knows, in another time and in another place with better access to care, life may have looked a lot different and a lot happier for John Lennon. And that to me, regardless of exact diagnosis, is one of the biggest tragedies in this whole situation.

[questionableratatouille00]

ʜɪɢʜᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʟʟ

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: In an effort to get the two of you to bond, Tony Stark sends you and the ex-assassin Bucky Barnes on a road trip together. The problem? You hate each other. The situation? Two weeks in a car together. The reward: three days of a resort vacation. And the problem? He's kinda cute.

Warnings (Entire Series): Enemies-to-lovers, cursing, sexual tension, angst, fluff, crying, fighting, violence, chaos, mentions/talk of trauma, discussions of mental health, and potentially more.

Warnings: Enemies-to-lovers, sexual tension, cursing, arguments.

|| Part 2 ||

[Series Masterlist]

---------------------------------------------

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝑻𝒓𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝑨𝒊𝒏’𝒕 𝑩𝒊𝒈 𝑬𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒐𝒕𝒉 𝒐𝒇 𝑼𝒔

“It’s just two weeks, Buck. You’ll be fine.” Steve attempts to reassure his best friend, though it doesn’t seem to be working. “She’s really not as bad as you make her out to be.”

Bucky says nothing, rolling his eyes instead. "This whole idea is a waste of time. I'm not going." He grumbled. Stark had the grand idea to send the most incompatible people in the entire Avenger's Compound on a fucking road trip.

"You have to go. Tony said it's non-negotiable. I'm sure she doesn't like the idea either, but there's nothing we can do about it. Just...try and make the best of it."

"That's easy for you to say. You don't have to actually go." Bucky grumbled, stuffing more things into a suitcase. Steve was supposed to be helping, but he was really just there to try and convince Bucky that this was for the greater good, or whatever. Something like that.

This was going to be an insufferably long two weeks.

--------------

"Two weeks and three days. Three days of actual vacation! This is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard. Nat, you gotta get me out of this." You pleaded with the Avenger.

"Already tried. Tony won't budge." She gave an apologetic shrug. "Maybe you'll find out you share a lot of common interests."

"Right, because me and the ninety-nine year-old man are basically twinsies. Thanks, Nat."

"Maybe you'll just decide to fuck halfway-through." Yelena interrupts. "Like, full-on go at each other. The tension is very strong. Very strong." Her accent is thick as she digs through your closet.

"She's right, I've read too many romance novels to know how this turns out." Kate agrees, judging your shoe collection.

"What? Ew--God, no. That's...so fucking disgusting to think about." You shudder. "He's a total asshole."

"He's not so bad." Yelena shrugged. "Helped take down the Red Room. Good enough for me."

"He can't be that bad, right? I haven't really talked with the guy, but he seems chill." Kate ponders.

"What they mean to say is that it will be fine." Nat attempts to assure you.

"I hate him and I hate everything about it." You rage quietly as Yelena stuffs shampoo and conditioner into your suitcase. You were packing one suitcase and one backpack. Yelena, Kate, and Natasha were supposed to be helping, but they were really just goofing off and occasionally helping you grab something.

"The trip isn't even worth it, anyway. One week of driving to get there, three days of the actual resort, and then a week back. It doesn't make any sense." You tried to reason.

"The whole point of the trip is to get you two to bond. Or at least to not bicker and argue over the comms during missions." Nat rationalized. "It'll not only be good for you two, but for the team as a whole."

You thought for a moment, considering it. You could agree that the idea made sense, but still. He was a dick to you most of the time, so what was the point?

"Fine." You said. "But if he starts shit, I'm not going to let him walk all over me."

Sighing, Natasha nodded.

"If he pisses you off, just kill him--very easy. You know how to do it." Yelena stated ever so casually.

"Yelena!" Kate and Natasha exclaimed at the same time.

--------------

You scowled as you loaded your suitcase and backpack into the backseat of the truck. You even made sure all of your stuff was directly behind the driver's seat. Your seat. You were going to drive.

Bucky Barnes, seemingly getting the message, put his singular suitcase behind the passenger side.

Tony and Steve stood outside the huge garage, watching as the two of you loaded up the truck. Tony had bought the truck a while ago, but he never really ended up driving it often. He thought it would be perfect for this trip.

"Don't die, if you sleep in the car make sure to lock the doors, get a motel when you can, stay safe and have fun, blah blah blah, don't crash my truck." Tony told the two of you. Steve gave him the Eyebrows of Disappointment before turning back to you. "Please don't kill each other. Stay in a motel or something when you can." Steve quickly hugged Bucky goodbye, stepping inside, and you turned to walk to the driver's side.

"What're you doing?" Bucky asked from behind you.

"Getting in the car?" The way he said it annoyed you.

"I'm driving." He declared.

"No you're not. I am. You watched me put my stuff behind the seat--my seat!"

"I am driving the damn car. Move."

"No you are fucking not. Get your ancient ass to the passenger seat." I growl. "Your driving is shit. Move out of the way before I make you." He says, sharp blue eyes glaring straight into yours.

"What're you gonna do? Throw me?"

Without saying a word, he put both of his hands on your biceps, squeezing lightly, before slightly picking you up and moving you to the side. He did it so easily, too. Most likely due to the serum, along with the vibranium arm. You felt the rage seeping into your body, and just before you could throw a punch, Tony called out from the door inside the garage. "Take turns, losers! Jesus Christ."

You both look at him as he says this, before looking back at each other. Shoving him out of the way, you open the truck door. He sticks up both of his middle fingers as he walks around the back of the truck. As you buckle your seatbelt, you consider just backing up the truck as he walked behind it. He wouldn't die. He probably wouldn't even fall over. It could be a total accident. A little oopsie, if you will.

Just before you could ponder the potential attempted murder, Bucky opened the passenger door, hopping into the truck. You plug your phone into the truck, putting on your favorite playlist. The one Bucky hated. It was a very personal 'fuck you' to the Super Soldier sitting next to you. He looked like he wanted to make some kind of comment, but he didn't.

Pulling out of the huge driveway, you knew one thing for sure.

This was going to be a long two weeks.

[familyagrestefanblog]

Sorry, I just need to get this off my chest.

You know what's shit?

That I always come back to work on my explanation posts on why Alya, Plagg, and Emonette being treated unfairly and being disregarded by Maribug's writing is by now pissing me off to similar degrees as her bad treatment of Chat Noir

But that always ends in a domino effect of me putting together more of the overall narrative that ticks me off so much cause my ADD brain can't NOT look for the continuous string of the writing pattern I follow once I'm at it.

You probably can imagine that this isn't very good for my mental health and the only reason why I'm still doing it is because I have a strong suspicion on what the new story arc will do with Cerise after this agonizing hiatus, and only once the actual new story arc proves me wrong can my ADD brain let this emotional investment of 7+ years in my "comfort show" since I was a 16 rest in peace.

Being neurodivergent is exhausting of FUCK...

So I always stop writing any of the posts about the other topics and come back to my Adrichat corner because that's the "safe space" my brain is the most familiar and comfortable with by now since season 4 to make a post AT ALL that isn't running the risk of leading me down 7 new rabbit holes I can't unsee anymore afterwards...

I MISS looking into several narrative threads in this show and voicing my opinions on them. In hindsight, I regret not having done it more when it was still possible, but I feel like it should have been alright in any other normally written show to have a fan blog dedicated to a specific part of the story. I feel like I shouldn't be the one in the WRONG for having done that.

Anyway, I honestly MISS the time where I knew that Maribug's benefit and comfort weren't the only things accepted as "valid" readings of the story. From both sides. Supporters and critics/salters.

Where saying anything that isn't immediately connected to Marinette's benefit and comfort didn't need a full-blown 20 page essay post going into any detail possible to fight for the right to even be taken seriously as a realistic reading of the story at all.

I know I'm not the only one upset at this, but I wonder how many people really realized by now how batshit insane this is right now. That only the most vanilla and vague-ass posts that do their best to not in anyway say something that would be "mean" and "non-validating" to Marinette can be posted now without it automatically being categorized as at least "critical" or running the risk of getting perceived as salt or wishful-thinking.

You can't point ANYTHING out anymore without at least one person running in and either saying "You just HATE Marinette and want to see her punished! You people never care about HERRRRRRRRRR (regarding a topic that isn't about her or is her fucking JOB as a narrative tool to DO)" or "Yeah, nah, the show would never let that happen because of the Marinette bias lol"

You can't even say anything anymore about Adrien's abuse without it being either undermined to all hell because of Marinette having been bullied and needing to be a girlboss who does to others what she's declared "tortured" for, or Félix "hypocrite and victim-blamer" Fathom. Gabriel being abusive was once the most basic ass thing to talk about, what the fuck happened?? (don't answer that, I know the answer...)

The whole analysis' side of this fandom that isn't catering to Marinette was either killed or basically exiled into the "critical" or outright "salt" tag because you can't even be interested in world-building anymore without having to fight for the post's right to be taken seriously under the crushing weight of Marinette's narrative benefits and comfort.

Because mademoiselle ain't fucking interested in ANYTHING lore wise beyond what's convenient for her (not to mention the retcons), so talking about the Guardian and Kwami lore for example counts as SALT now because it automatically implies for people that Marinette isn't all that matters and her flaws of not being interest in ANYTHING might actually COUNT as flaws she should work on. I know, the fucking HORROR! 😱

I MISS writing theories, analysis posts, and speculating about this shows future plots in even the most basic "set up and pay off" manner but I know I can't because my default approach is always complementary to the main character - meaning what challenges them and the narrative the most to grow, expand, and develop. This isn't a Marinette specific thing, I ALWAYS do this.

And contrary to popular belief in this fandom, I get by perfectly fine doing that for the majority of other pieces of media I consume. It is MIRACULOUS and this damn Fandom that now genuinely did it's best to convince themselves that this level of main character centric morality and revenge porn level writing is NORMAL when it's seriously NOT.

There is a REASON why this show hardly ever gets recommended on social media the way one would think despite its success. Or why the Fan backlash is so enormous despite a solid part of the Fandom already having left long ago and the young target demographic not uniformly having a voice in the social media discourse.

Or why people actively advise others AGAINST watching the show, AGAINST forming an emotional investment, and AGAINST going anywhere near the Fandom.

Cause no fucking shit, this isn't normal.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I started doing sex work while still living with my mom?

Warning for sexual mentions(nothing heavily explicit though)

I (18F) can't get a typical job like working in customer service or physical labor because of a mix of reasons. I'm both physically and mentally disabled, for one. I have chronic pain & chronic fatigue so extensive physical labor or any job that requires being up for a long time is out of the question for me, as it would cause me a lot of pain and put me at risk for collapsing or falling asleep due to exhaustion. I also have heavy social anxiety and sensory issues, and despite being in therapy since I was around 11, this hasn't gone away. I still have problems with stuttering when talking to people I don't know, and feel on the verge of panic the entire time. I also can't handle loud noises well- I carry around a pair of headphones constantly but that does mess with my hearing so I couldn't really use those in a customer service focused environment. I'm a full time student as well, and will be for several more years, as I'm going straight into college out of high school. On top of all that, I can't drive yet, as the process was delayed due to concerns that my health issues would make me a hazard on the road, so I won't have my full license until late this year.

I've tried looking for other job types before, but nothing I've been able to find works. I've tried doing art, but it's not easy to get people to actually commission you- I've only gotten 1 so far and I've had commissions open for almost half a year. I've tried content creation but have yet to build a platform big enough to make money from it. I've looked for online focused jobs such as creating captions or proof-reading others work but realized very quickly I'm not equipped/qualified for that job due to my problems with processing audio correctly, and my problems reading and writing correctly first try- I often have to re-read things many times over and re-type things at least once to get it at all correct, as words and letters get mixed up in my brain sometimes or I just accidentally skip over entire words or even sentences. And even then I sometimes still get it wrong. So I'm a pretty slow worker with things like reading, and something that requires listening to something and then writing what was said took so long it wouldn't meet the time requirements a lot of places are looking for in workers for that (that I've seen).

So the only idea I have left for making money so I at least have something to help pay for college and to go towards me being able to move out someday is some sort of sex work. I'm not planning on doing anything super risky, like meeting up with real people or anything that would show my face. So I wouldn't be worried about this bothering my mom since she's not really sex negative or strictly against sex workers or anything if it wasn't for one thing. I'm not sure if this will work either. I have a lot of acne problems all over, and problems with picking at my skin that leave scratch marks in a lot of places. And I'm not sure anyone would be willing to pay to look at that. It's not something that bothers me on an individual level, it's just a part of me, but that doesn't really change what other people do or don't find attractive. So it just kind of feels disrespectful to be selling that kind of thing in my mothers house if it's not even going to be significant enough for it to matter financially. And, of course, there's always the risk my mom could see it, and I worry it would upset her to see her daughter selling that kind of thing. But I don't see other options left for how I could make enough money to not end up drowning in student loans down the line, or end up living with my mom for many years into adulthood- which wouldn't be fair to her since she's not financially well off either. I don't plan for it to be a permanent job, just something to help me through my college years till I can start working in the field for what I'm getting a degree in or until my issues get well enough I can work a more typical job.

WIBTA?

What are these acronyms?

[deusvervewrites]

Apprentices:

Now that 1-A’s apprentices and the skills they’ve learned from them are solidified, how does the Sports Festival go?

Also, does Izuku have Full Cowling by then? Because I remember it being mentioned that All Might called in Torino, but I’m not sure it was ever stated when.

Hilariously I was planning on answering this in a reblog of your previous ask on this topic now that I'd established this, but your ask beat me to it.

It was not established when All Might called in Gran, but because of Thirteen mentoring Uraraka, it would've been something he thought to do soon. Though, given how early the USJ is, I think that happens first and inspires him to call Gran faster.

So in the two weeks between the USJ and the Sports Festival, Gran teaches Midoriya Full Cowling, and since there isn't a Noumu attack and Stain fight to end that mentorship early, Gran can take his time getting Midoriya better trained for combat as well. Midoriya's a quick learner, but it won't quite close that gap when most of the class has had more time to train.

Sports Festival:

For the event itself, Sato, Sero, Asui, Uraraka and Ashido would've done better at the actual race part, but Midoriya still wins with Full Cowling and the mine trick.

The Cavalry Battle is a 1-A sweep; it'll be much closer in their second year but right now 1-B can't keep up. And Shinsou's trick won't work on people who have better situational awareness and are tracking Quirk use.

Interestingly, I think that because Uraraka and Iida don't know Midoriya as well, their roles in this round reverse--Iida is on Midoriya's team while Uraraka isn't. Midoriya also picks up Hatsume and, to supplement her, Jiro. (Hatsume as Power Loader's apprentice? Perhaps?)

Uraraka's team is headed by Hagakure, who supports Aoyama and Tokoyami by directing light away from Dark Shadow, and they'd do well.

Uh, Tournament Speedrun.

Iida beats Jiro who lacks her gear, Aoyama beats Tokoyami, Kaminari beats Bakugou, Asui beats out Ojiro in a very tight match, Ashido would beat Midoriya thanks to her more viscous acids, Yaoyorozu beats Uraraka but it's close, Todoroki struggles with Hagakure but she lacks the experience to avoid being overwhelmed, and Hatsume outmaneuvers Shoji.

Aoyama's lasers are faster than Iida, Asui isn't faster than Kaminari's electric whips, Ashido is too fast for Yaoyorozu to think of a plan, and Todoroki beats Hatsume.

Aoyama's attacks are faster than Kaminari's electricity. Ashido's acid is very effective against Todoroki's ice and he won't use his fire.

So, uh, strange final match of Ashido vs Aoyama. As a brawler, Ashido has a better chance at withstanding Aoyama's attacks than his largely ranged opponents up until now, so I think she takes it.

What a weird fucking tournament.

Oh, don't worry that Hatsume did better than Midoriya; her first matchup was very favorable to her while Midoriya's was not so he's not in any trouble. His mental health on the other hand might take another hit from losing in the first round. Sure he's a finalist but when did facts matter to the brain?

[sunnywalnut]

As someone who *was* a Helluva Boss fan for a really long time because of the obvious love and care that was put into the show by the animators and voice actors.... I really can't overlook the kind of things that Vivian has done.

And honestly?

Knowing that all of the money from views, likes, media, merch and so on goes into her pocket (and NONE of the people that actually put in the work to CREATE the show) just horrifies me to no end.

I know that all of us have heard about her tyrades on Twitter, or her tearing apart critics and cursing them out, or just her all around messy and rude attitude towards everyone and anyone who pokes even a LITTLE fun at her(like that one video of "The Amazing Digital Circus If It Was Written By Vivziepop). I know that we've all heard about it. And a lot of us have already made up our minds about her. Good or bad.

But the fact of the matter is that a lot of us don't have the full story. And for me, it was because a lot of it was either conspiracy, treated as a one off thing, or just an assholeish thing that happened years ago. And her fans defending her poor behavior and claiming she's apologized for it or that it's "okay" because she's been through trauma haven't really helped.

Plus. I'm a firm believer that you shouldn't have to put that much extensive research into figuring out if the person you are supporting(through watching videos, buying merch, etc etc) is a good person or not.

Which is why I want to share with you all a link to a post I found on Twitter. A compiled list of evidence of things that Vivziepop has said or done without additional commentary(besides simply just labeling what the screenshots consist of) so everyone can make their own decisions on what they want to believe or not.

I for one am not the kind of guy to care about what kind of things you do with fictional characters(or at least. What you write with them. All of us are capable of writing shitty stories and posting them online) and honestly? I don't care about what personal things you have going on in your life.

A lot of people do.

And that's not wrong, of course. Some people believe that it is a way to see what kind of person you are based off of how you treat your fictional characters or the ways that you interact with sexuality. Which has some truth to it. To some extent.

However. It holds a problem when that is the ONLY evidence you find against a person.

Making a shitty joke 3 years ago doesn't condemn you to hell. Or at least. It shouldn't.

Making a sexualized character? I mean. Who doesn't?

But running a hierarchy where you are running your friends mental health into the ground for the sake of a show you aren't even animating for anymore? Now that is something that I would like to educate myself on.

And this thread does just that.

I definitely recommend you read. Or at least bookmark for later. Because it has a LOT of new information that people might not know yet.

[genericpuff]

Hi! Maybe this is a difficult question with no answer, but as a fan of Rekindled who might want to start their own comic, what do you suggest to avoid burnout? Do you start wiht writting the script right away, you doodle a bit,..? Thanks for reading, I love how you draw big noses, makes me more comfy with mine!

no fr my dark secret is that i've been experiencing burnout with my main original project that I've spent the last decade working on for literally a year now. this isn't the first long hiatus i've taken, the longest one i've ever been on has lasted two years, and it's undoubtedly not the last i'll experience because the lump of salt and fat and tissue that is my brain often overworks itself into exhaustion like a big dummy

rekindled has been my reprieve from the burnout. it has been my vacation from years of working on the same project, meeting the same deadlines, drawing the same characters, over and over and over again since before i was in college.

if there's anything working on rekindled has made clear to me, it's that i'm still capable of drawing comics. the comic-making isn't the problem. it's just that when you work on the same project for years and trap yourself in an uphill battle, eventually your climbing gear is bound to break.

if there's another thing that rekindled has opened my eyes to, it's the insanity that i put myself through prior to rekindled that led to my burnout in the first place.

i get people telling me that they couldn't imagine doing what i do, that even before i had my assistant helping me out, i was still able to put out 30-40 panel updates every week.

but before that, i was putting out 70-90 panel episodes of my original work. every week. full color. full spread action scenes. no assistant. very little financial gain aside from a couple patrons on patreon and one dedicated viewer on twitch, which i was also streaming on 2-3 times a week.

and now that i've been working on rekindled and even finding myself often crunched for time with that, i have zero clue, no idea, a complete lack of comprehension of how i pulled off 70-90 panels a week for months on end. there's a reason it resulted in burnout and i know that now. this comparison is not for the sake of a flex - this comparison is to make it clear that much of what i do isn't the norm and isn't exactly a healthy standard. case in point, i sneezed while sweeping up yesterday morning and it caused a muscle strain in my lower back/hips and i've been working out of my bed since, i'm in a lot of pain and it might mean i don't make any money this week if it's not better by the time i have to do my appointments at my day job on thursday. my need to create my personal passion projects is often at odds with my bad habits of not taking care of myself 。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。

when it comes to tackling burnout, your guess is as good as mine. really it just comes down to rest. when burnout - real, true burnout - hits, it's not just "man i'm bored of working on this", it's "i can't even think of looking at this thing let alone working on it", it's basically akin to depression and it's an awful thing that i wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy (even with Rachel, I don't want to psychoanalyze her mental health but it does seem like she's possibly been experiencing burnout with LO for years now and that really sucks for her if that's true). so the solution is just as complicated as the cause, it's not something that you can just rest from for a week and come back from, it takes real long-term healing.

when I found my way out of that 2 year hiatus, it was in spring of 2019 and I decided to just work on a random comic page that wasn't even in the comic I was working on. and then suddenly it was like a switch flicked back into the on position and i didn't even finish what i was working on, i just went back to my original project and i kept working on it until it was finally finished at the end of 2021. as suddenly and randomly as it had set in, it was gone. but i can't just do the same thing this time, it just doesn't work that way.

that said, through all this, i've learned that my need to create is not restricted to any one tangible thing, i'm not doomed or designed to stick with the same words, the same faces, the same ideas until the end of time. while i do try to keep up healthy routines for myself to ensure i'm looking out for my future self and their deadlines and their upload schedules, sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants. and in my case, the heart wanted to take a break from the self-reflective psychological analysis dark fantasy weebo stuff and just draw some pink and blue characters a little less ugly. the self-reflective weebo shit will still be there when i'm done with the pink and blue stuff, and i'll surely have loads of new things to unpack through it once i return.

there are still times when i'm working on rekindled and i'm feeling the creeping hand of my routine destruction digging its claws into my back. the reality is that 30-40 panels is still a lot for someone like myself who's doing this entirely for free, but my definition of normal for a while was so insanely inhumane that even what's still considered a lot by most people's standards feels sane and normal to me after what i put myself through.

i've learned to be more gentle with myself, and to loosen my own expectations of what i'm capable of to ensure i don't do anything like that to myself, by myself, again. i give myself room to create without expectations or the pressure of eyes watching when i can, and i remind myself that even if burnout rears its head again, and again, and again, the will to create is not gone. it's just tired, and resting, and growing, and healing as i am.

anyways that turned into a self-reflective essay post, to answer your question about making stuff ahead of time, i find that's more helpful with just like, planning out a structured story (so you don't write yourself into a corner) but whether or not it helps with burnout kind of depends. because it can just as also easily be the cause of the problem because constantly seeing the stuff you wanna be drawing so far away can be just as much of a morale killer as a motivator. some of the stuff i'm super psyched to write and draw with time gate is years away and that timeline grows longer the more the burnout goes on which makes the struggle feel even more overwhelming and pointless and defeating. so plan ahead, but keep it all within your means if you can. i find what works for me is planning out just general beat-to-beat plot structures (to ensure i at least have a plot skeleton going on so i know where i'm going) then i leave the finer details to when the actual episode i've planned gets closer to fruition and i can get myself in the headspace to write it fully.

also remember that just because you're really excited and motivated to work on your comic doesn't mean you should work yourself into exhaustion - it's a good thing if you're going through the mundane of your daily routine and the whole time you're hyped af to work on your hobby/personal project/etc. because that's what will keep you moving forward, so don't spend all that hype in one place by working and working and working until you're exhausted, because that hype is REALLY hard to get back after you've spent it all.

long post over! hope that helps! best of luck in your projects! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡