#and i wont even worry about this present pain

[queer-queen-bean]

the tragedy of knowing by experience that it gets better if you just keep going, that the present is inescapable and endless but if you can endure the mundane agony that's haunted you as long as you can remember then things will get better because even when you've been treading water for years, sometimes you can find the strength to swim.

[kafus]

i wont feel offended if you ignore this ask btw, i get that its asking something kind of personal! but can i ask what you mean by the internet treating DID as magical?

hi i actually enjoy DID questions don't worry LOL and i'm in the mood rn

when most people think about DID they are usually thinking about very overt cases with very distinct alters with vastly different personalities, different names, gender identities, etc. while this is a popular angle to imagine DID, overt cases like that are actually a pretty small percentage of what DID tends to look like. (of course, social media can push people's presentation to become more overt, which isn't fake/bad or anything, humans are social animals and the way we interact with each other can affect even our mental illnesses. additionally some people will become more overt after receiving therapy while they start communicating with alters for the first time. but my point is DID is not usually that strikingly obvious)

this popular perception also leaves out a lot of the rest of DID which falls in line with what people consider more "typical" disorders, PTSD symptoms galore, dissociation/dissociative amnesia, somatic pains and illness, comorbid conditions and physical disabilities. i think if people had more of an understanding of the non-alter parts of DID, it would ground the disorder a lot more and make it a lot less "magical" seeming.

but overall it all comes back to like... people not understanding that DID is just an extension of PTSD and other parts-based disorders. the same psychological process that makes PTSD/C-PTSD happen, BPD, etc, is what causes DID, it's just pushed to a far extreme due to when the trauma is experienced (very early childhood) and other factors surrounding that trauma, such as the length of time the trauma occurred over, or whether or not the child had stable caregivers and/or relief from traumatic events. DID is not some sort of completely separate category of mental illness - alters (the DID definition of them) may be unique to DID, but they come from the same place a ton of other mental illnesses do and there's a ton of overlapping symptoms between DID and pretty much every disorder caused by trauma.

i often see people act like DID is some far off life experience they couldn't even fathom or imagine living with, but if anyone just actually explained this shit properly i'm pretty sure most people, especially traumatized people, would go "oh that makes sense" and not feel so estranged from it lol. it's really frustrating because people continuing to see DID as this sort of magical, far-off experience, takes the disability/disorder out of it in conversation about it (people can only ever seem to talk about alters) and it also usually ends up spreading misinformation at the same time. there's sooo much bullshit about DID out there. good grief. it even hurts other people with trauma-based conditions that aren't DID

edit: wait also btw OSDD-1 is included in this conversation, i'm just using DID as shorthand instead of typing DID/OSDD every time and i am personally diagnosed with DID so lol

[blueeofsl]

Page 17. We see that Donnie is just laughing at the joke now. It might be because it’s right after Leo sobbing for a while and then he just pulls that joke out of nowhere, or the fact that Donnie is exhausted. Or maybe, Donnie just really missed his stupid jokes

But it relaxes Donnie out of whatever caffeine or adrenaline high he’s been in for so long, and he passes out on Leo. Literally laughs himself to sleep.

However for Leo, this was probably really worrying. Because Donnie was active and talking to him and suddenly he’s passed out. (Also is it just me or does it look like Leo’s stump is sorta holding Donnie’s head up?)

~~~~~

In Page 18, Leo gently lays Donnie down on the bed he had woken up from. Staring at Donnie the whole way through with a sort of attentiveness to any sort of discomfort/pain.

He’d probably noticed the eyebags under Donnies eyes too.

In the second panel, Leo’s worry shows through again and seems to need to take a breath before checking Donnie’s pulse in panel three.

The fact that Donnie lets this happen so willingly (even when passed out. I would guess that over the years in the apocalypse, the turtles have learned a way to protect themselves even in their sleep.) shows that he is fully out and probably wont wake up for a while.

~~~~~

In page 19, notice how there wasn’t just one panel being used to show Leo focusing on Donnie’s pulse, but two. We can tell by Leo’s facial expression that he’s still having doubts of seeing Donnie alive again.

Still doubting that things are real in the third panel as he goes to check his own pulse. His own pulse being much quicker than Donnies. This could be because of the fact that Donnie’s asleep while Leo is awake. Or it could be the fact that Leo is very alert now that he’s alone.

In the last panel, Leo finally lets himself say what he’s thinking at the moment “what the fuck”. I don’t think ive ever read those words with so much emotion behind them because yes. Leo is just… so confused on how he got here. He has no clue that they’re in the present timeline, where Donnie can resurrect people. He has no idea if there are other people out there other than him and Donnie. He doesn’t even know that the sky is now free of krang and is blue instead of the apocalyptic red.

The last panel also shows us that Leo is also finally starting to take note of his surroundings, past just trying to reach for Donnie.

~~~~~

Some other theories/notes; I’m guessing that Leo is going to need a lot of guidance/reassurance of the fact that things are real and that he can relax. Like Casey, he probably wont be a fan of the big crowds in NYC and would rather stay hidden.

I’m also guessing that the family will have some sort of “talk” about what has happened overall. The war, the people they’ve lost, everything. Maybe Cass wont add this in, but I think Mikey will try to have everyone at least address the fact that not only are they survivors, but they are also veterans from a long, long war.

~~~~~~~~~~

Phew… that was a lot of writing! Loved checking through all 59 panels and finding the little details/ focusing on the emotion Cass was trying to portray there.

Would like to thank @somerandomdudelmao for the comics and also @tapakah0 and @ryanthel0ser for being wonderful motivators hehe

PART 1

PART 2

PART 3 (here)

[angelheony]

'Under the Veil of the Night Sky'

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶ Synopsis ✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

When painful memories catch up to people in the middle of the night, A change of scenery can definitely aid- At least that's what you think. ( Modern au!)

Jiang Cheng x gn Reader

Warnings- Might be ooc, bad grammar, and horrible parenting

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚★⋆｡˚ ⋆

┊ ┊ ┊ ⋆

┊ ┊ ★⋆

┊ ◦

★⋆ ┊ . ˚

˚★

In the late hour of the night, two lovers intertwined. Though one finds himself restless, words echoing in his mind. Whether it be the favored words of his father towards anyone but him, the harshness of his mother, and the constant pressure of having to be better than everyone else or your a failure in 'their' eyes. Leaves a certain Jiang Cheng twisting and turning in his bed trying to find rest.

"A-cheng..Can't sleep?" A voice laced with sleep asked beside him. Seemingly stirred by all the movement

"..No, Sorry did I wake you up?"

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶ ✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

Jiang Cheng tries to keep his tone neutral to not worry the person beside him. Though it all proves to be futile under your keen observation.

You look beside you groggily "What's plaguing your mind? you know you can tell me..."

"Its nothing, Go back to sleep, i'll follow shortly"

He dismisses your words quickly,

You sigh, if he doesn't want to share such heavy thoughts to you just yet, you wont force him. "Ever tried counting sheep to sleep yet?" You try to lighten the mood instead,

"Who still does that? i'm not a five year old anymore"

He huffs out, looking to you with raised eyebrows.

"Hey, never hurts to try" You smile sheepishly back at him, Though shut down by a quick 'no' by the man beside you.

"Fine, wanna go somewhere for a change of scenery? Maybe at the park..."

You say whilst sitting up, wanting to spend some time with him as well. What better time than in the deep of the night, not messing up with your already hectic schedules.

"Who still wanders about at 1 am?" He sits up as well, finding no use in just twisting and turning to get some sleep.

"People who can't sleep, duh. So only a few, plus nobody can bother us now." A sudden wave of energy hits you, hurrying to dress up to at least look presentable at 1 am explorations.

Jiang Cheng just let out a sigh, entertaining your antics just this once.

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶ ✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

You both originally wanted to go to the empty park, but not before passing through the convenience store to get some snacks, as per your request. A mutter from Jiang Cheng can be heard as well, Huffing out that we just went out in the middle of the night just cause you were hungry, which was amusing to him.

After a few squanders on which snack to buy, you arrive at the park. Proceeding to sit on the bench nearby to take in the tranquility of the atmosphere.

"It really is better here at night," You sigh in content, as you take a bite on the chips you bought. Nudging a piece to him, so he can have a taste as well.

He nods in agreement before taking a bite,

",How're you feeling?" you continue.

"Surprisingly better.." Jiang Cheng murmured, "And tired after all that walking." Rolling his eyes, before leaning his head on your shoulder

"See i'm so smart, when we get back you can surely sleep peacefully now!" Patting him on the head, You say boisterously

"Smart? Where?"

"Wow, okay be that way..." You exchange witty comments with each other for the time being, but after a while, You say softly.

"You know I won't force you to tell me all that's in your mind, but just know that i'll always be here, by your side.."

"I know", Jiang Cheng pulls your body in a tight embrace, Though you won't know the exact thoughts in this man's mind, you hope that it brings him even the littlest of comfort. Embracing him with equal fervor

"Now let's go home shall we? It's almost dawn"

His softening tone tells you everything you need to know for the time being, you nod.

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶ ✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

As fast as sleep took you in, at the same rate will you have to part from its embrace. Now in your lecture room, The sound of Wei Wuxian's voice echoes out, asking on why you both look like fierce corpses this early in the morning. You both could only answer with a glare and another a sigh. After all you cant say much after only a few hours of much needed sleep since midterms are coming, but oh well, you'll survive cause you know that your both in this together.

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶ ✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

Yey!! second fic done, idk but I just wanna drown Jiang Cheng with hugs

[pastanest]

if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @rosieathena - thanks so much!! ♡

Spencer Reid x she/her!reader

Give Her Back To Me

Spencer never imagined experiencing pain such as this. His expression is vacant, his exterior appearing calm while a storm swirls inside of him. The storm that had started as sickness and worry, has transformed into a tornado of fire and rage that he can barely contain.

“Kid, you ready?” Derek questions warily as he finished gearing his friend up, rigged with a concealed mic and earpiece, and a gun, but none of the team needed to present Spencer with that. He had one on him from the moment he knew this was going to happen.

Dragging himself back down to earth and at a safe distance from his destructive thoughts, Spencer nods wordlessly, his eyes unable to focus on anything but the door at the end of the hall. He knows that as soon as he sees that monster’s face, the anger he’s managed to kept under wraps thus far will consume him. The team see no use in attempting to reach Spencer at this time, his mind is otherwise occupied, and as a result, their sorrowful smiles that Spencer doesnt see are accompanied by their reassuring pats on his back. That was his cue, and he’d never forgive himself if he waited a second longer before speed walking towards the door.

As soon as he swings the door open, Spencer’s eyes lock onto the monster himself, sitting at the only table, placed in the centre of the hall. The monster has a pleased smile on his face as he clasps his hands together, it’s unlikely to believe that - if there were any witnesses to this - others would see through the kind facade of this scum, but the layers of malevolence that sat beneath it were clear as day to Spencer Reid, and he is utterly repulsed. Fury bursts at the seams of the young man as he stares at the creature that is less than human, and he thunders over to the table, sitting down opposite the embodiment of evil. He cant believe that he’s sitting with the monster that had taken the love of his life and hidden her away somewhere.

“Spencer - I can call you Spencer, cant I? We know each other well enough by now. I have to say, Im disappointed, I was expecting you to tear open the skies above for your precious girl, but you wont even meet my simple demands to ensure that she remains alive?”

This man is responsible for the deaths of 12 women who were all previous kidnapping victims, Spencer’s girlfriend was to be ‘lucky number 13’, as this killer had branded her when he was nothing more than another unsub. It was at that point, things got extremely personal. This serial killer was worse than any other Spencer had read about or helped to arrest, purely because he had taken you, and the subtle threats in the monster’s words will do little to deter Spencer’s mission today.

Spencer leans forward in his seat, clasping his hands in front of him exactly as the killer has done, which causes the scum to sit back in his chair and remove his hands from the table. By no means was Spencer ever regarded as an intimidating man, not when compared to other members of his team at least, but on his own, and in this head space? He is a force to be reckoned with.

“You told me specifically to come here alone and leave my team blissfully unaware of this meeting, but I decided not to listen, because you see, I will do absolutely anything for her - that’s important, keep note of that - I will do anything for her, but for you? No amount of horrific backstory is going to make me pity you enough to convince me that I shouldnt submit you to every form of torture I know of until you tell me where she is, and I may not even stop then.”

The monster chuckles wickedly, as though he somehow believes he has even the slightest chance of survival. “You’re not a man of violence, Doctor Reid, the only research you do is to keep the peace.”

“That usually is the case, yes, but you seem to be under the misapprehension that I care for your continued existence. I have nothing to lose without her here, which means, after the very little consideration that was necessary, I have chosen to ignore the consequences of my actions. I’ve been reading up on nothing but torture methods from the moment you took her, that was six days ago. 20,000 words per minute and an eidetic memory, do you really want to see how creative I can get?”

As the venom drips from his own words, he cant help the painful tug at his heartstrings as he recalls the past six days. This is the longest time he has spent without you from the day you met, and it has been a period entirely consumed by anguish. The night you were taken, Spencer had dropped you off at your house after taking you out on a date. Every Friday was date night, as often as your work allowed it to be, and last Friday was as perfect as all previous dates with you have been. With every day that has passed since, Spencer has scolded himself constantly for not going into the house with you when you invited him in for a drink. He heard his own voice say “There’s nowhere else in existence I would rather be than here with you, but let’s save this for tomorrow night, when we’re not officially required to go to work the following day?” He had planned to ask you to move in with him the next night, he had an extravagant list of events in place, and he wanted to confirm them all again on the Friday night, he couldnt risk you hearing him talking on the phone. If he hadnt been so wrapped up in that, perhaps he would have noticed something was off about your home. If he’d just gone into your house, he could have saved you...

This all crosses Spencer’s mind in a matter of seconds, and he doesnt give the monster time to interject before he continues. “You’re going to have to shoot me in the face before you walk out of here, so Im going to give you the exact instruction that gives you the highest chance of avoiding the most painful end to your life that you can possibly imagine.”

The scum stares at the young doctor, flickers of fear reflected in his soulless eyes. But the man he is staring at could not be less afraid of him; taking the love of his life had not broken him as the monster had hoped it would, instead he became a man stronger than he had ever known, with immeasurable anger directing his every move.

It is that exact fury that causes Spencer to rise to his feet, and slam his hands down on the table in the most seething display of protective rage.

“Give her back to me.”

[acanth3]

追憶＊マリオネットの糸の先 / Reminiscence＊End of the Marionette's Strings

EPISODE 9

Shu: …..

Mm…I don't know, what is this shaking…an earthquake?

Kuro: Ah, did you wake up Shu? 

Shu: Gyou!? Ryu, Ryu~ku…Kiryu!

What, what kind of situation am I in? Explain right now! Why are you carrying me like a princess!?

Kuro: Nah, this is just the easiest way to carry you. You were taller than me as a kid and it was hard to hold you…

Now, your shorter than me ♪

Shu: Well, compared to you the rest of humanity is also minimal/tiny! Hey, let me down! It’s so embarrassing, we’re both not children anymore!

Kuro: That’s right, I thought you wouldn’t mind it. 

Because I saw you stumble in the hallway, no way can you just pass it off…I’ll carry you right to the infirmary. So, shut up.

Shu: Gh, gu? You thought I fell down?

Kuro: You don;t look too good, 

your body hasn’t been strong for a while now. Be careful, are you eating proper meals?

Even as a kid, there was low blood sugar and collapsing~ ♪

Shu: Ah, I’m sorry I just stay up all night. And I don’t enjoy eating very much, it’s painful to have foreign things into my body. 

Kuro: You're still very picky, aren’t you? That’s why my mum would get mad at me. 

Shu: …..

Kuro: …I know many things about the new Valkyrie, finally at the top of Yumenosaki.

But, trying to stay on a throne, you’re doing the best you can right? 

There’s no point in falling down a path like that if no one’s happy.

Shu: Stop trying to be bossy and preaching out to me. Your mother, who wont be present even at the end of your life…so with that mouth why do you choose to care about other people’s physician conditions/abilities?

Don’t pretend to be kind to me, you villain!

Kuro: I don’t have anything left to say, just don’t exhaust yourself again. You’ll faint. 

Because people who lose their conscience often are twice as heavy as normal people. Wake up properly and don’t cause so much trouble. 

Shu: I don’t remember asking. Kiryu?

Kuro: I know, that’s why I told you I’ll mind my own business. 

Shu: Hmph! And please correct yourself a little. I didn’t fall down.

I still have Valkyrie, the best, high quality unit which cannot be compared to the vulgarity of the other units. 

Just because of some system created for lives and festivals turning this into a game…

We don’t have live showdowns at all, we just can’t get results that quick.

While in the meantime, other people are displaying barbaric behaviours…

If there is a higher rank than us, know it’s because of ridiculous rules created to play this game.

We have not lost even once. We ‘Valkyrie’ are the best idol group, yes?

Only loser’s find such things regrettable.

Kuro: That’s right I guess. You’ve chosen the war route, I’ve changed the rules of this game myself from those smart guys. 

In that world, you’re officially no longer at the top of Yumenosaki. 

It’s no use complaining. Like in a soccer game, no matter how many home runs your able to hit, you won’t get a score. 

Shu: Damn!...I’m frustrated, these snobs who can’t understand art!

We’re showing the best stage, why aren’t we being appreciated? Not even awarded?

It’s wrong! All of this! Who made Yumenosaki like this!?

Kuro: I can’t tell you that…

I’m chewing more than I can take, it can’t be helped even if I complain now. I’ve been completely trapped in mold. 

Before it happened, the path those malicious people took was horrible. We lost because we couldn’t see through the conspiracy. Even if I regret it, it’s too late.

I’m sorry Shu. That I can’t do anything. A long time ago, I even swore to absolutely protect you. 

My mother is going to be angry with me.

Shu: It’s just a promise from childhood, Kiryu. You don’t have to worry so much about it. You still carry me and move around with me like this, and even talk to me…

It’s you that can’t be saved, right?

I’m not a child crying over the tyranny of bullies anymore. 

You can take care of me like you say over and over again, but please let me down. 

I don't want to be spoiled by you anymore, I want to get stronger too…

Kuro: I see, oh you’re still weak, just stubborn now huh.

Shu: Even if you give a crying child what they want, the bullying will still happen to the happy child. (?)

That’s fine by me. If the rules have changed, let’s just accept it. 

Let’s stand in the same ring and fight fairly. We’re supreme beings no matter what the world see’s.

To DreamFes…let’s have a live showdown.

So I’ll give the snobs at that blood festival what they want, and their corpses will be drowned within the mud. I’ll make them regret touching my wrath. 

Kuro: But isn’t it graded according to people's expectation/preference?

Shu: Just what are you talking about, Kiryu?

Kuro: No, well, this time…human’s and high schoolers…don’t think about bad thing’s…

There’s..nothing, it's just my worries.

But be careful Icchan, I can’t help you up on stage.

Shu: Thank you for your help, actually.

Those who are excellent will be given an award corresponding to their efforts.

If not, the world is between us all. 

so cute!

[takenbypeter]

A Promise That I’ll Keep

Peter Parker x reader

Words: 695

Based on number 12: “I like your stupid face.” Also note, reader doesn’t know Peter is Spider-Man.

feel free to request

You slouched into your chair, listening to a show you’ve watched a million times play in the background while your finger scrolled through your phone. “Another boring day, another boring life,” is what you breathed out in a sigh, both tired from work and life itself. That type of thinking was easily interrupted by a knock coming from your door and with that familiar knock crept a smile on your face, “maybe its not so boring after all,” you whispered before yelling out, “it’s open!”

You knew it was peter, he was the only one who would be coming around at this time. Peter and you knew each other from school but didn’t talk to each other until college which is when you really connected then you started dating soon after. You loved peter, but sometimes he did things that really didn’t make sense to you, regardless he was still a good boyfriend you’ll never rob him of that title.

With a creak open followed by a close you heard his feet shuffling on the ground, which was weird. “Peter, you okay?” You asked, finally turning around and that’s when you saw him.

Peter was walking with a limp in his step and bruises all over his face. You were used to a little bruise here and there, him always brushing it off telling you he was clumsy and something just happened but this? This was excessive, you’ve never seen any thing like this before.

Although clearly in pain, he shot you an exhausted smile and at the sight you immediately threw your phone beside coming to his side to try to help him in some way, “Peter, did you get beat up by a gang, what the hell!?”

He shook his head as you placed his arm over you, giving him somewhere to rest his body a little while you two made your way to the bathroom, where you knew you had some form of first aid.

You rummage through your cabinets eventually finding the kit. Little by little you clean up his face, first the cuts, then the bruises, you honestly don’t know what to make of the scene and you’re a little scared to bring it up.

You thought you were keeping your concerns under wraps but apparently not as well as you thought when Peter’s words interrupted your thoughts, “if you keep biting on your lips we’re going to have to use the first aid on you.”

You tried to grin, not even realizing you were doing that but you kept quiet and Peter sighed.

“You’re not going to ask me about it?”

You frowned, you knew there was something going on with him and you did feel like you had a right to know, but you couldn’t bring yourself to ask.

What if it was worse that you knew? What if you knew thinking ruins the relationship you have now?

Instead of answering his question, your hands reach up to cup his face. Your fingers graze over his jaw, gently avoiding the painful looking areas.

“I do want to know, I mean you’ve got a new bruise almost every other week. I’m worried…”

Peter looks up at you from behind your hands, “but I wont ask, because I know you would tell me if it was important. Right? Especially if you were in danger. Right?”

His eyes shift towards the ground, but still he nods his head a little in your hands. You nod back before releasing him and putting away the aid kit.

“And I know you’re clumsy but please be careful, I happen to like your stupid face. So just…be careful.”

Again he nods although your back is turned towards him.

Truth is, Peter did want to tell you, it was eating him alive not telling you but he couldn’t shake the feeling of losing you. He knew if he was going to tell you that things would change. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for that yet. But then and there, with the worry present on your face, he told himself that he was going to tell you sooner than later and that was a promise.

~

Dialogue Prompts

[maryhadalittlehobby]

"I want you more than anything in the world"- IWTV S2E4 liveblog

Claudias debut at the theatre!I was enthralled with this performance. Especially with the animation aspect but Louis was right though. Its weird! lol

Armand looking to him for his approval and that fake ass smile from Louis lol

Ugh the end of the play though and the ghost. More foreshadowing!

Not Claudia being over the performance so soon. What is 2 years to a vampire? But to be fair she was over it from the start.

Was it sabotage in Claudias part or is that Armand's ego (and the covens) talking? Santiago and co were saying how they hated it too

I lowkey loved her "no pain" rags costume. Is that weird?

Peep that worried look of Louis's when Claudia expresses her discontent to Armand. Did he think she was over it now that she had the coven? Or is he remembering Armand's words to him in the tunnel last ep that she wont survive BECAUSE of the reasons she gave?(Im a fierce vampire stuck

Sam the suck up lol

"I keep my business tight" yes you do sir!...if you say so. I guess he has a handle on outbursts in cafes two years on

Discontent brewing in the theatre.

Louis getting a hold on on the fire gift. Has it come naturally over time or has armand taught him?

Dreamstat is officially my favorite version of Lestat!

"Do you notice how hot the room gets when you two talk about the secret?" Hot how lestat do tell!

I love you-mokingly. LOuis!? you are crazy who are you even mocking. Yourself or Armand?!

Are you schizophrenic Louis. Oh was i hoping for the Lestat reveal with that look off to the side in present day lol.

Daniel Malloy with the S1 callbacks

Armand look when Louis describes being able to feel Lestats presence! Anger? annoyance?Jealousy? Was Armand unwittingly the cause of it? He says he wasn't aware Lestat was SO present so all those feelings make sense. And Louis has apparently gotten better at blocking his thoughts if Armand wasn't aware

Daniel revealed his hand a bit but thankfully he had a plausible backup reason as to why he knows about the fire. Giving very much i can throw YALL off your game too

The wet room scene between Claudia and Santiago further bolsters my theory that Santiago is being genuine with her but also fishing for info to use against her and Louis.

Never meet your heroes amirite. The switch between Claudia being wide eyed in her first interactions with Santiago to now the annoyed glare of "why are you lurking?"

The dinner scene. I love how theyve all comeout like dysfunctional family. Except for Gutsve apparently who is doing a Baron Afanas

BUFFOON! WE got the scene. I am so happy.!

Rip 👏🏾that 👏🏾tongue👏🏾 out Sorry Santibaby!

This photography dealer seen reminds me of the passage in the book where the painter paints Louis just a little too well and he kills him. This guy got off easy with a "Fuck You!"

I love how unimpressed Madeline is. "When you died that was good" lol

uh oh Claudia skirting her responsibilites. This will end well

Dreamstat being Louis imagininary confidant/friend instead of threatening. How the turn tables have turned.

Love how he is parroting and defending his man lol. Eating the bad ones.

Romeo!!

While I don't see Claudine as romantic at least not yet I do love that Madeline is acknowledging feeling and treating her like the adult that she is. It's talking to her about sex and Death and hard yruth things nobody broaches with Claudia. Go bang!Then fine again!

Assads "who am i" speech. Beautiful and capitvating. Assad is a standout this season.

Armand did nothing wrong on chastising Claudia. Maybe not the hand on the throat but he was right to put her in her place.

Then grabbing up Santiago. Girl! He has never been more attractive.

Know you role Thesp. Not gonna lie, that reminded me of the Rock

Lestat as Louis staring at Louis like are we buying this? Another sad origin story? I feel like Louis is more descerning now. Taking it with a grain of salt. Its very much reminesent of Claudia's look to Louis as Lestat told his story.

Not louis as Lestat calling Claudia a bad decision.

Again I think Claudia is wrong in this situation. Armand did not outright threaten her. She took it as a threat. All he said was basically I know what you did last summer.

She goes off on Louis but Louis tried to tell her. She wouldn't hear It. Louis is right for choosing his peace, she chose hers. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

The wilderness that is our daughter. I love that line.

His favorite suit.

Sam has really milked every bit of emotion out of few scenes. This was sad, not gonna lie. I teared up.

Bye Dreamstat! I was just warming up to You.

Can Santiago know somethings contents through touch?!

Full out mutiny vibes!

Yes Maitre!?! Omg tew much!. I have never been into sub/dom dynamics but omg that was so hot

Confidence looks so good on Louis. I love this for him again.

And he has a hold on the fire gift!!

Santiago Maitre too?! Too many Maitres sitting in a tree.

Ok maybe Armand could not have prevented it with the actual mutiny in play. We shall see

We cant have Louis being embarrassed in front of Daniel! He has an interview he's trying to win which is both possible and normal to want!

I love that they are actually screaming nonsense behind the wall lol

I actually screamed when they cut off Armand in the middle of his sentence.THATS IT!? Next week can't come fast enough!

[slashingdisneypasta]

Jim Bickerman x Reader || Oneshot

Little christmas present to myself, don't mind me.

Plot: Set during Lake Placid Vs Anaconda | You get a good chunk of your leg bitten off by a crocodile and Murdoch wants to leave you behind, but Jim wont let her.

Warnings: Crocodile attack/gore related to that

You didn't even see it coming. You heard that something was nearby, and Beach saying to raise your weapons while Murdoch demanded you all to be cautious, in case its one of her beloved snakes- but it came from behind and you didn't have time to even turn around before the crocodiles was right behind you.

Beach did- he lunged and tried to yank you out of the way- and that kept the monster from biting off your whole lower half but it still managed to catch one of your legs. Its jaw clamped around your leg, huge teeth digging into your knee and tearing skin while you let out a terrible scream. Your gun flies out of your hand when you fall and crash in the dirt.

You try to get away anyway from it, forcing yourself to tug at your leg, but that of course only makes it worse. The pain is immeasurable, and you think you're going to pass out and die- get swallowed up by one of these fucking crocs even after everything the last time you were here.

It feels like forever that the crocodile rips at your limb but must have really been only a few moments, before bullets rain down on the beast and it finally stops. As you're breathing heavily, watching in absolute terror, as it slowly stops moving and both Beach and another of Murdoch's remaining guards rush over to pull its mouth open- to release your shredded leg.

"Oh god... " You whisper, before biting down on your bottom lip as you look at it; Fighting off another scream. No... No no no-

"Get out the medical kit!" You hear Beach bark behind you, once they'd managed to drag the crocodiles corpse out of the way and gently lay your leg down on the grass. The sounds of the other guard cursing and Murdoch yelling about something also fill your ears but you choose to focus on Jim, kneeling beside you looking alarmed and not-at-all confident about your leg.

He helps you to sit up, hauling you up with his good hand before holding you up with his bad. You dig one hand into the mud behind you to help keep yourself up, eyes filled with tears looking at your poor leg. "Okay- alright, sweetheart, we're gonna, uh... wrap that up, for ya. And we'll getcha to a hospital, and they'll fix it up. It'll be fine." Your free hand finds his and he lets you squeeze it as hard you like- no complaint. "Just don't, uh... don't go moving it... "

"I- I don't think I could if I wanted to." You force out, watching Beach fall to his knees with bandages and a sturdy-looking stick he found, by the destroyed appendage.

Jim looks awkward, and worried; Eyes flickering from your face to your leg. "Oh, well, good. Look, ah- worst comes to worst- you just get one a these old things, eh?" With his hook, he reaches back and pats his own prosthetic leg, a wonky grin on his face that you hold onto. "No big deal, hey? Yeah, its gon' be alright... yeahh, just fine... "

"Hey!" Murdoch snaps, then, standing above you all with a disgusted scowl on her face. "What are we doing?? We need to move on! My snakes- "

You watch Jim roll his eyes heavily, then, trying not to snap at her- and failing miserably watching you back- your eyes are getting heavy and your grip on his hand looser. "Oh, shut up about your goddamn snakes, bitch. With any luck, the crocs already made a meal outta them."

Murdoch's eyes flash at the back of his head. "... No. No, I cant believe that. And it would do you good to keep your thoughts to yourself Bickerman."

"... considering you already paid me, I don't see why... " He mutters sarcastically, an underlying trace of malice in tone; Face dark as he stays focused on you. His good eye flickers over your body still- making sure that you're breathing, checking how much blood you're losing, how Beach is going wrapping you up, and then tightening his grip on you when he sees how badly its going... You just take deep breaths, letting your eyes fall shut so you don't have to look at your leg anymore, and... because you're suddenly also really... really tired... "Hey, hey- no, no sleepin', ey princess? Stay awake... "

"Mm... don't think I... can... " God, you're passing out. All that blood loss stealing all of your strength away, making your eyelids so so heavy... you don't think it would be possible to lift them open again. You rest your upper body against Jim and take a deep, shuddering breath. "I... don't think I can... Jim... "

"Yeah, hey Bickerman I don't recommend she take a nap right now." You hear Beach call, still wrapping all the gauze they have around your leg and the stick

"Yeah, I got that, thanks so fucking much." Jim growls, and you feel it more then you hear it. Actually his voice is starting to sound like he's underwater. Or you're underwater. Where are you again?... Something cold and metallic presses against the delicate skin beneath your chin and pushes your face upwards. You feel panicked, heavy breathing on your face. "Uh uh... no... damnit Y/N!... Open up your eyes again- ... now!"

Jim's words cut in and out, sleep overwhelming you- and then, it all goes black.

~

"... she's asleep." Murdoch informs, leaning over your body and peering at you like some stinky road kill they just dragged off the highway, before giving a sigh and straightening up. "Its better that way. Come on- "

Shaking his head carefully, Jim lets your head fall against his shoulder, removing his prosthetic from your face. "We aint going anywhere, 'ma'am'... " The tone in his voice is dark, and angry, and it makes the business woman stop. She looks to Beach with a glare, waiting for him to do something about this.

But he doesn't.

"Look- she's asleep now. She wont feel any pain when she dies." She says it as if its a certainty, and Jim sets his jaw hard, the only thing keeping him from threatening this bitch with a gun being his unwillingness to lay you down in the dirt. "We don't have time to sit by and hold her hand through it, that's suicide. So lean her up against a tree somewhere and lets go!"

At this Jim doesn't even respond, unable to form words to accurately describe how much he is not leaving you here. He just glances at Beach, who's just finishing your leg up, having used up all the bandages they had for emergencies in order to curb the bleeding, and knotting it tightly. Without looking up, he shakes his head sternly. "The others were dead Murdoch, we had to leave them. I get that... but L/N's still breathing. We cant just leave her defenceless."

"Then leave her a gun! If she miraculously comes to- she'll have it to protect herself with."

Beach just glares, his mind fully set on this matter- he might have to work for her but he doesn't have to become someone else to do it. Then he gets up, walks around your body and gestures like he's going to pick you up- asking Jim, silently with his eyes, if that would be alright.

Poking his tongue into his cheek, Jim gives Beach a careful glare. "... son if anything happens to her, I'll be happy to shoot ya dead before y'can say 'oops'... " Slowly, he nods though and helps to stabilize you in the other mans arms.

Beach slowly stands up, getting used to your weight, while Murdoch watches- dumbfounded and pissed at the blatant insubordination happening in front of her.

"... She'll slow us down." She snaps, as if they don't know that.

This time, Jim has his hands free and scrambles to his feet- grabbing his rifle on the way and pointing it at her without blinking an eye. For a moment he doesn't say a damn thing, just carefully watches the cocky look that was on her face initially, give way to a lick of fear when he turns the safety off in her face. "... I'm not gonna say it again- Y/N's comin' with us whether you like or not, snake lady. So if I were you I'd get with the goddamn program, eh?"

No one has ever accused Jim of being a good man, but he's about to pop a bullet in this bitches face and he's not even going to blink about it. "... Don't you talk about her like that,"

But she doesn't let up, even then. "Surely, dragging your dying whore through the woods is just going to hurt everyone else in the end, huh?"

"Murdoch," Beach pipes up, stealing both their attentions. "Its 2 against one- I'm sorry, but we're bringing her along."

"I'm the boss here!- " Murdoch exclaims, disbelief in her tone at everything that is happening right now. All for some- some- invalid?? She didn't even want this chick on this expedition, she wanted Jim but apparently they're a 'package deal' as you had told her when she tried to make off with him- ugh.

Rolling his eyes, losing some of his steam from a moment ago, Jim gives a great sigh. "You're about to be the boss a the underworld if you keep talkin', woman."

Finally Murdoch stops arguing, glaring between the two men and at your pale body propped up in Beach's straining arms- your head drooping backwards into empty air in a way that's definitely going to ache when you wake up again. Its useless, she thinks, eye twitching. They're idiots, and the mission is going to fail because of it.

But, it seems there's nothing she can do about it. "Fine- lets try and find my snakes quick. And you better hope they're alive, Bickerman. Because if they're not- " Murdoch flashes an ugly glare the old mans way. One he doesn't much care about, lowering his gun back to his side and shaking his head. "You'll be paying for it."

"Oooh, shaking in my boots...," He growls back, rolling his eyes. As long as you're alright, he could not care less what Murdoch could do to him. He's gotten out of worse scrapes.

As the group trudges on, Jim's eyes glide back over to you, still unconscious in the Terminators arms up ahead, and gives a frustrated huff; Hurrying to catch up with them with his own bad leg slowing him down. "Watch her head, wouldja?? C'mon, now- "

~

When you woke up, you were alone, on a beach, with a gun in your hand. It was terrifying, waking up at Blackwater, way too close to the lake for your tastes, with one gored leg. You didn't know where everyone went, or how much time had past by since you passed out, or anything. All you did know was that you had to move.

It was difficult, but you managed to force yourself up against the tree you were propped against. All you were thinking was how you cannot die in this hell. And where did everyone go?? Where's Jim??

So, taking a deep breath, you tucked the gun into the back of your jeans and walked.

The bad news- the bones in your leg were most definitely broken, and the skin was torn to shreds, and it hurt like hell to put any kind of weight on the limb, but the good news?? It worked. Feeling it meant it was still there, you supposed, and at least you had it. With just a stump, you aren't sure what you would have done.

You managed to walk 10 minutes into the tree line, searching for any signs of... anything. Crocs being the worst case scenario, the fence being the best. Nothing turned up- but you began to hear something.

Is that... laughing?? What in the name of hell is going on-

OH Jim. Its Jim. You only know one person crazy enough to sound like that and you would bet good money that it was him. "Oh- damnit!" You try to move a little quicker, to find him, but your leg screams at you for it and you have to pause and take some deep breaths to curb the pain. "Okay... okay... I'm sorry... we'll go slow... "Sucking in a final deep breath, you start up again, moving very, very cautiously, with your arms held out at your sides for balance; Taking only tiny little steps in hopefully the right direction. "Hooohhhhkay... "

The laugh turns into more a drunk chuckle after a few moments, but you know you're closer because you can hear it much more clearly now and, yes, its definitely Jim. You would know his voice anywhere.

"... Jim??" You call out, taking a chance that if there were crocodiles nearby- they would have come at the sound of laughing earlier.

"... I must be goin' crazy... " You hear him sigh, then chuckle again- and you roll your eyes.

But you're also pleased- because if this is a trick created by your own head and blood loss, then its a really really good one. And you're not that creative. "Nope- you went crazy a long time ago! Now- ah, fuck. Now you're just going dumb- where are you??"

There's a pause as you struggle through the trees, towards another beach. You can practically see Jim's face in your mind, trying to decide whether he's hearing things or what. You give a heavy sigh. "Do I have to insult you again old man or are you gonna help me out here?"

Finally you see him, laying on the beach covered in blood not 10 feet away. Your heart drops, because this is the second time you've seen him like this and you're honestly so sick of it.

When you get to him, you ease yourself down to the sand and wince when your leg stings at having to bend. When you're forced to drop the last foot down because your leg just wont bend anymore, you let out an 'ooft!' and an 'ow'. "You're alive, then... happy to see it, dumplin'... Now- now whatcha gonna do, huh? Heheh, you gonna- heh- gonna tear off bits a your clothes to set my wounds with? Cuz I- I got a lotta wounds... and I could get behind that."

"I'm sure you could," You humour him, shaking your head. Then you just sit and assess him for a moment, eyes gliding up and down his body- and sigh. Why. "... We can never come back to this fucking lake."

"Oh," Jim chuckles, shaking his head. "I'm with ya there, sweetheart."

"Good." You nod, resting your chin in your hand and your elbow in your non-injured leg, and leaning over his head to give him a soft little grin.

"Unless they offer me a lotta cash, and I mean buckets and buckets of- " The grin slips right off your face, and he starts to laugh again.

"No- "

"Ah ah ah," He suddenly leans up off the sandy dirt, managing hook his good hand around your neck and pull you down into a salty-tasting kiss. You let your eyelids fall closed, an absolute sucker for his kisses; And for a good long moment, it feels like neither of you are potentially bleeding out. When he pulls back again, theirs a wicked grin on his face that's oddly comforting, to you. "... I was just kiddin'."

... Sighing, you roll your eyes with a bemused grin, and straighten up again while he lays there and laughs - like the insane old man he is, - taking the moment to yourself to just wonder how you're going to make it out of here. Its going to be tough.

... at least he's alive, though.

[formula-fun]

“Not a happy story”?????????

I was already really worried the last time you said the last chapter was going to be so full of angst. Now I’m just really really worried at the possible sequel.

Forgot to say hi first lol. Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Though I suppose overall for me who is a “life sucks so much already I’m not reading angst in my spare time”, rreereading your story so many times has sort of trained(?) me for it, because I kind of know that sitting through the pain only gave me such sweet intimacy later.

Or maybe we just have different understanding of angst? Because for me once they have established the foundation of trust that “no matter what happens we are going to be here for each other, for the championships, the pregnancies, the parenting, the long-distance relationship and the so sweet life together” , then is just growing into themselves, growing up, and growing stronger. Not to mention even if said foundation was not acknowledged out loud (yet?) they are still actually actively trying to baby trap each other hahahaha.

So I was just sort of doing rereads and calmly waiting for the next chapters, now you say the sequel(if it happens) is going to be not happy?????? They have a baby! That’s grounds for a happy story(in fiction) right???? Right??

Haha in truth I’m just ready for anything you decide really.

Hopefully your projects are coming along better, I studied finance and maths which were in no way as stressful as architecture, and I still jumped between “if they want my (tuition) money they would let me graduate right?” “What was I thinking picking this subject my brain is not built for this” and “just let me die” most of the time. Of course you would pull through!!!!!!

Xxxxxxoooooooxxxxxxooooo

Hahha helloooo!! i love that my askbox is known to be a place to say hi now dkdfjdfkjdjk dear random person somewhere in the world we are at the same stoplight and i am waving at you from my car <3 This got super long so ill put a cut line

Hmm so I think maybe angst was the wrong word then! its not gonna be a happy story in the sense that the plot wont be 'max and charles live happily ever after with a baby', theres still going to be some shit going on. Ur 100% right that there's always sweetness scattered in within that, it's not just angst for the sake of angst, and they'll at least be able to outright support each other in the sequel without like jumping through hoops to quantify what they are to each other or whatever. So in that sense maybe what i mean is more that it won't be a fun fairytale epilogue kind of vibe, there will still be stuff they need to figure out?

also this is going to sound so pretentious im so sorry but the first two fics are heavily heavily written around the idea of gender. if you cut max and charles out of the entire rest of it it's just a story about two equals who love each other and are trying to find a common language to communicate that, but once you add in gender roles and expectations and judgement it all becomes this huge fucking mess even though the core of it is something so simple. the sequel is probably going to be kind of similar, but more along the lines of defining what a family is to them outside of their own expectations or trauma. so ya sorry to summarize theres room for intimacy and happiness and love and all that but there's also a heaviness if that makes sense. Kinda like what we have now

they also have just basic issues honestly. newborns cant really fly so max cant travel with charles for a lot of the beginning of the season. charles wants to be home as much as he can but he's kinda torn between his family and his job. they miss each other! the baby misses her mom!! kinda screws with everyones head a little, especially max who grew up without a mother! they try their best but its just hard sometimes my friend

and thank youuuuu honestly that's where i'm at with school rn!! we had 3 more hours of presentations yesterday (had to do the project over the weekend) and literally as soon as the last group was done we got assigned 3 versions of a 5 floor apartment building which we have to present tomorrow? this on top of the essay due today, the other one due thursday and the third one due next tuesday??? me and my friends just looked at each other in silence and apparently we were all fantasizing about dropping out djfkdfkjdfj they're trying to weed out our class rn though and im sorry but if admin want me gone theyre going to have to kill me

anyway thank you so much my dear!!! im sorry this is one big long ramble but hopefully it answered your questions!!

[leninova1997]

"Doom3guy/Doom marine now got his own name, backstory, relations and well deserved character depth." Will you keep his name a secret until you release the novel?

Can you talk a little bit about his personality?

It's okay if you prefer not to share due to spoilers, I'm just curious but I respect if you prefer to keep it a secret.

Hey, thank you so much for the questions! 😍😍😍

Well, yes, it is going to be a big-big secret. 😂😂😂 Not because the name is anything mindblowing, its more about teasing from my side. Im pretty sure though some people will be surprised by it (maybe just a little bit). And no, it has nothing to do with the OG canon names like Taggart and Blaskowitz. Its standalone in a special way

Oh boy, his personality. Where do i even start? 😁😂😂

I always described him as a cold, heavily determined and straightforward person. Mostly he only cares about accomplishing his task (when he is in the "zone"), anything else can wait and will wait. This never could be possible without hardening during actual conflicts. The years while being on the battlefield taught him a few very valuable lessons about warfare and himself too. This kind of control always elevates his distant and calculating side along with low emotions and high concentration. He wants to be as invulnerable as possible, no matter how much he has to shield his human side. But in such deadly conditions, who can blame him?

He is a badass, no doubt. Not many people even with his experience, expertise and self regulation or with much more would have been capable of carrying out such an act as he did. Im sure he was surprised to some extent when he returned back to Delta and had a moment of peace for himself while leaning next to the wall.

Then, theres his other side that is much more caring and kinder than anyone would expect. Most people wouldnt even guess this because his "naturally shown" behavior toward strangers is also very distant, argumentative, detached, restrained when it comes to communication and connections. But for special people, like his family, wife (yes, in my headcanon he is married) and daughter he is like a total opposite. He is not only always there to support but to become a reliable example of trust (and very often he is). He takes care of his family as seriously as possible (like how he does in the military) and doesnt mind if he has to sacrifice his own needs in the process. He believes its the responsibility of the head of the family and refuses to even question this line of logic (thanks to this, he sometimes becomes too overprotective).

He also likes to present his inner emotions to them in the most honest extension. Its very noticeable how much he smiles (which suits him very well) and laughs during these times. Or share his worries and pain with members who he expects some encouragement from. Or maybe, he just needs some comfort from his memories and/or the hypocrisy of society/the world. Its truly rare, however, such simple things will help him out tremendously.

He also has a huge heart and not afraid to aid those who deserve it. He cannot stand immorality and corruption: if something or somebody shatters his faith (like his belief in the corps), nothing will keep him around in his soul anymore and wont obey in the way he used to (doesnt care if this brings danger to his life).

This is still not the whole picture though, but i hope this essay/posting means enough aid to get to know him better in my writing. 😊

[cugzarui]

immortality

you are alone in the dark, not really remembering how you got there. its hard to remember anything through the pain. gas bubbles form under your skin and in the hard vacuum. the dry frost nipping at your eyes and tongue and nostrils. the sensory deprivation of a true void rings in your ears and flashes before your eyes. in time you adjust.

you get used to it. you dont know how long it takes; but as painful as it is it is also a constant, unchanging pain. a fixed stimulus. and after a while your brain determines it must not be worth paying attention to. you reflect on how lucky you are that "getting used to it" is not considered an ailment, or your supernatural healing wouldve kept you in eternal torment. you reflect again on how lucky you are, that excessive hallucinations do count as ailments, and so you are able to retain awareness of your circumstances rather than falling to inescapable madness. you do still indulge in delusions quite often - what else is there to do out here? - but it is not a compulsion.

one day while floating listlessly through the void, you are struck with a bit of fancy, and maim yourself. you pour out your blood and pull out your hair and tie them together into a ball - a planet. your planet. your new home. it will take forever to build, so it is quite fortunate that forever is exactly what you have.

you still cant tell how much time passes; but you can do the math. after a few months your planet weighs about as much as you do. after a decade or two it stands as tall as you do. a bit of a surprise comes in after what must have been only a few centuries at most. you feel the slightest brush of wind. your world doesnt have its own gravitational pull yet, but you reason that the molecules evaporating from it ever so slowly, will escape with too low of a velocity to travel far. they accumulate in the "vicinity" (by some loose definition of vicinity) of your world and create a barrier that slows down faster moving molecules as well. even the fast molecules coming off of your own body hit the planets surface and slow down. gradually, this all turns into a noticeable cloud of gas. one which even acts as an insulator (it does consist heavily of CO2), warming your world a little and speeding up the evaporation of more gas.

you build a house out of hair and blood-ice

after some millennia your world finally has a noticeable gravitational pull. it is just barely there. you have to set sensitive experiments to detect it (take a chunk of ice. place it above the ground. check back after a while and find that its on the ground), but a gravitational field is definitely present.

it takes about a million years before that gravitational field goes from "technically there" to "i need to actively consider this on a regular basis". it is still quite weak, but it fills you with confidence. truth be told you lost your first few attempts at making a world. that rope trick only works so well...you really need to stay vigilant or you'll drift away. but not anymore. well you still be vigilant, but now you only need to worry about accidentally jumping at escape velocity. you wont just casually drift away out of the blue. not with gravity. not anymore.

you notice various oddities about your world as well. its been getting warmer, and youve made various environments out of boredom, and now they seem to begin evolving without you. slow chemical reactions that are only appreciable on such large timescales. strange gasses and oils begin forming on your world. rocks as well. actual rocks. actual. rocks. not ice. not hair. not rock-hard viscera. rocks.

your world is a work of art. simply adding material is boring, so you shape it into beautiful things. stories written in weaves of hair and carving of solid blood. fountains and springs and pools and rivers of mysterious oil. and in special thermally insulative containers of your own making - bacteria. your microbiome is considered a part of you, and is maintained indefinitely while inside your body. once outside, the bacteria die to the cold and vacuum; but you can now breed them. selecting for those of lower maintenance that can survive in this harsh environment. then breeding those to have desirable traits. you were so delighted when you first developed a strain that could make light. you vaguely recall that oxygen is necessary for that kind of reaction and wonder where oxygen is coming from in this empty place. then you realize that you must have oxygen dissolved in your blood and some of it must be escaping without being used. whatever. whats important is that you can see. finally you can see. it may be faint - fainter than a candle or LED - but by god for the first time in a million years you can see. you want to turn your whole world into light, but you mustnt. every light uses energy, and you can only replenish that energy so fast. youll just be left with an empty world. be patient.

you waited a million years. you can wait more.

you slowly develop methods and technologies that wouldve been wholly impractical to anyone else. processes that take thousands of years to complete. but you develop industry and tech. gradually you become more advanced. you never crack the secret to your own immortality. you believe it is some inherent property of physics; like mass or electric charge.

you make a friend.

you somehow do it. after who knows how long, youve built a machine of such efficiency, a world of such efficiency, that you can continuously support another being; a being with a design so advanced it rivals that of a human. your world is a far cry from the mat of hair and blood it started as. you have streets paved in stone. a ground of something resembling earth. water. clean water. street lights. air (still not breathable). gravity. warmth. you have a bed and it is comfortable.

and now you have a friend.

your resources are still limited, so twice the manpower doesnt double your productivity, but perhaps because your friend is new and mortal they are able to see things that you cant. make advancements you never thought possible. in another million years, who knows what this world would look like...

[caloalvarado]

One night we were watching videos of nostalgiacore, dreamcore and liminal spaces. The slow tempo and reverb of the music and the vhs filter of the footage creates such a soothing and confortable atmosphere. Such an "i have been there sensation".

When it comes to the surrealist landscapes of the dreamcore aesthetic its obviusly that i was never there, at least not phisically.

Talking about liminal spaces we have been there but also we haven't. We walked in Malls but not the one on the photo, Scratched our knees on the playground, not the one portrayed. Even when we were never in the exact same location, we visited places so similar that liminal spaces can make us feel nostalgic.

However nostalgiacore its all about nostalgia (its quite literal its name), and can be quite efective for us that grew in the 2000s,.Those candies, toys, tv shows and retro games really reach deep into us, like do you remember using My First Encarta for high school homework. Hours trying to find an alledged secret level in our favorite videogame, The adventures we could live only whit toys and imagination, even those toys that we could never have but we remember how we wished them. Those snacks you really had to bargain to be able to eat them.Such memories can be really nostalgic for many of us who grew up in the first decade of the 21st century and we think: "How we miss those" but thats a lie we tell ourselves.

We could easily download(though not so ethical or legal method) the aforementioned encyclopedia and even play the games on the kids version but doesnt feel right, its because we don"t miss the software, we miss that excitement of discovering something new.

That favorite game most likely has not became lost media and we can play it as an adult but it does not feel the same, all to the cause we never missed the game, we miss that sense of surprise after unlocking a new level or area or that sense of self worth after defeating a particulary hard one.

Most of us could go and buy the toys we miss, even finally do what our child self once said: "when i got my own money i will sure buy that toy my caregiver wont give me". Will we buy it?, most likely not, the reason, we don't the toy but rather miss the times when the only ones who we buy stuff for is ourselves, to have fun. Not like now that many in the world buy everything they own to impress others than couldn't care less.

We do not miss the past, we miss that child that years ago looked back at us when we looked at the mirror. There is a cute combination of ignorance and stupidity we call "the innocence of children", that made that kid in the past think that humanity had any hope left.Think the world of the then tomorrow that became the present world of today would be amazing and full of wonders and freedom we miss that dead child we once were.

But in reality the inner child its not really dead. They talk to us when we face the stimuli we talked about here, telling us: "look how happy you were when i was in charge"; the inner adult then looks at the child whit sorrow and sadness, because they know that the innocence and joy of the inner child can be easily mistaken for weakness. and they know how much humankind love hurting each other, and how being seen as weak paints you a target for mistreatment.

"Remember how happy we were when i was in charge, not worring about the money, to be liked by people you don't know them and they do know even less about you, or to not become homeless, now i see you horrified of becoming unable to work, why would i be so obsessed whit working?" said the inner child

"Your words put a smile on my face but also a slight pain on my chest oh innocent one, you were never worried about most of the things that steal my nights of sleep, the things that take away the melanin of my hair because someone else was worrying in your place, Can't you see we are alone little one. You are scared of the monsters from the movies, the demons that you were told about on the temple. Listen kid, i know the lowest of our kind and the day you learn the reach of human evil and cruelty, is the day demons stop being scary.

So please forgive me if i erected huge walls whose weight opresses our happiness. Its what i must do to keep ourselves safe in this hell we call earth" replied the inner adult engaging in a dialog we call nostalgia

[lets-talk-spirituality]

helloooo~ I hope this message finds you okay :) so i've been having a lot of anxiety with the future of my relationship since we're now long distance, i read you said to another anon that we live in the present and we have to evolve to attract what we want. it kinda soothed me but me and my bf had this talk abt our goals and we found out our future plans are pretty much the opposite and that wrecked me bc one of us would need to sacrifice our goals to live together (this is basically something that may happen in 3-4 yrs honestly). it just made me think how we wont work, even tho he said "things could change over the years, lets focus on things one day at a time". if it's okay, could i get a message from spirit on how what to expect from my relationship as times goes by? we've been together for 2 years. thank you!!! <3

First of all I have to respond as myself. I think your message to me shows that you are convincing yourself to hold onto something you know isn’t right for you. And where is that coming from? Is it fear that there’s nothing better or more? It’s okay that you aren’t ready for things to end and to take time to let things evolve, but I also worry that you may compromise your goals and needs in order to keep the relationship. I want to strongly urge you to not do that, and instead, throw yourself more fully into your goals. You don’t have to have the future planned out but it’s important that you listen to yourself about the truth of the situation. Long term goals can change as we age, as people we change too but it seems to me you’re at a fork in the road where you can choose to change or stay the same. I personally encourage you to choose change before it’s chosen for you.

I’d never tell you leave the relationship. You will know what to do when it’s time but if you are already feeling that you guys won’t work. Maybe it makes sense to release the relationship and to trust that if this is your person, you will find your way back to each other. Sometimes we need to grow through other relationships before we come back to people. Sometimes we can only learn lessons with certain souls. I wrote this recently as I’m letting go of someone too… sometimes letting go is the most loving thing you can do. It hurts like hell but what hurts more is slowing decaying a relationship you refuse to release. I’ve clung to lovers until it became so toxic it had to end. I encourage you to end it if you notice it starting to head that way. It’s better to pause on good terms than ruin your connection all together.

Spirit, what can anon expect from the relationship?

That depends on you. There are many directions this relationship can take. All have been planned already. Your soul is tugging you towards one of the paths and you already know the answer. You need to listen to yourself. We know that things aren’t easy but we cannot tell you the future because you are creating it moment to moment. What we can say is that love discovered is love that always existed. Nothing can be created or destroyed. Just because we experience separation in the material plane doesn’t mean that we are separated spiritually. Sometimes life paths ask so much of us, leaving lovers and families to find more out there. But you are strong and capable to choose your own growth. That’s why they are called growing pains, child, it hurts to outgrow your shell. You have to fully rebuild yourself. The more you do it, the better you become at it. We hope that you trust yourself and us that the path you’re feeling drawn to will lead you to your ultimate bliss. We hope you can remind yourself of this always. Connections are never lost only transformed.

Card Pull

Chakra Exploration Deck

Solar Plexus— where are you being asked to grow, evolve and transform in your life?

Mantra: I can rely on my will to create the changes I want to see in my life and welcome challenges with grace, equanimity and resilience.

Well, this is pretty spot on. I asked what spirit wanted you to know about your relationship path and this came up which mirrors what spirit said above. Choose the path of growth! It’s not always easy or pretty but it’s worth it.

Hope this helps! Would love to know if it resonates.

[throwaway-yandere]

Sunshowers (Yandere!Ei/Reader)

A/n: (reposted cause im confused on how tumblr works and it wont let me add spaces) Ahh big mood anon. Thought about this idea before as well but didn't know how to expand on it. I'm not entirely familiar with Japanese (and Inazuman) mythos & culture so please inform me if I got things off because my search history is getting weirder. And I didn't know what vision you wanted anon so I let wheel of names dot com decide lolol. Also sorry if this story is off, I wrote the draft around 3 am and slept lmao

gn!reader

cw: yandere ei. kidnapping

-------

How could you prevail in a confrontation with Ei if you don't even have the upper hand against the puppet, Raiden Shogun?

After being soundly defeated near the Statue of the Omnipresent God, Ei herself appeared to patch you up. She took you into her world and made it clear that she was unequivocally surprised by the turn of events. Despite choosing not to let trivial concerns cloud her judgment, Ei still finds this scene to be oh-so-heartbreaking.

Her plane of Euthymia appeared hostile and dim when you first arrived. The atmosphere remained the same until you consented to receive her treatment. Afterward, the realm then grew increasingly vibrant and pinkish, and whenever you acknowledged her presence, it seemed as though iridescent rays were trailing behind her.

This disgustingly cheerful environment gradually contributed to your increasing contempt for her illiterate viewpoints. Maybe you would have kept your lips shut if her consciousness wasn't so obviously delighted in keeping you company.

"(Y/n), please stay still..."

She started to cover your wound with a cloth, and you recoiled in pain.

You mustn't look up because you are Shoguji¹ (Y/n) and not Guuji Yae. It's not like you also want to stare into Ei's eyes. All that will be sharing your gaze are eyes that perfectly resemble your one and only master, and you cannot stomach the thought of it. She is not the Archon who took you in during times of famine. You are Makoto's dearest snow-white fox² and the parallel Ei's reddish-pink familiar.

Even if you frequently confide in Guuji Yae about your problems, it seems the trickster won't be of assistance. In reality, she may have stopped hoping for your safe return. Despite being more than a few centuries older than her, you have lost much of your previously sharp wit and piercing gaze thanks to numerous traumatic incidents. Nevertheless, you didn't give up on the Inazuma that the public desired. You cannot allow the blueprint of what your master Makoto intended to be destroyed by her twin and handcrafted playthings.

Raiden Makoto once said to "never stop searching, even for a brief flash of light. If nothing else, we have the present moment." And in this "present moment", you cannot let these children suffer from an Archon's half-baked ideals.

And if the Tri-commission and the renowned traveler refused to join the resistance, then so be it.

"Did you hope your foolhardiness will shelter those who invoked a revolution? It is only through my mercy that the Shogun spared you." Ei spoke softly. "Oh, (Y/n)... Had I not programmed her to protect you, you would find yourself in a more... Excruciating state."

"Can you not for the very least display gratitude for that?" She said, almost remorseful. Not in a way where she regrets her transgressions, but more of how she regrets getting you involved.

Her pained expression disgusts you.

Why does she have more sympathy for an inari fox over the many mortals who loyally offered fares and served her stead? An inari who had the fortune to control the water element?

You coughed up. No matter how much you tried to grin and suck it up, the blood managed to get out of your system. This only sparked more worry from the Archon.

If only you could use your hydro vision to heal yourself. But Ei snatched your vision the moment you entered her realm.

Should've expected that from someone who thought a Vision Hunt Decree is a bright idea.

"You..." Another cough echoed in her vast and lonely domain. "You're not this blind... Are you, Beelzebul?"

Ei blinked.

"Pardon me?"

"The people of Inazuma aren't thriving from your stiff regulations." You said. "You do not even trust your own people. I am aware that this will come across as treacherous, but is it not unfair that you only took my vision but not Yae's as well? You are aware that this was her plan, right?"

The Archon stayed silent.

You laughed humorlessly. "Doesn't that sound like nepotism, Ei?"

"It is."

Your eyes widened, not expecting an honest reply. Ei didn't believe her statements were particularly noteworthy based on her expressionless stare. You steeled yourself and laughed.

"I'm glad you're self-aware. I wonder how far I can push that..."

"I do play favorites, but not in the way you think."

You concentrated on her eyes.

You're unsure about whatever made you so terrified to look at them. At first glance, they do resemble Makoto's, but what mirrors deep within was a far cry from her gentleness.

"If I favored Yae, I would've ripped the electro vision dangling from her ears."

Shame on you for failing to remember that, out of the two siblings, Raiden Ei has experienced the worst effects of war.

No matter how calmly Ei said it, the image of having a part of Yae's earlobe violently torn made you cringe.

Ei sighed. "I can read your expression, (Y/n)–"

You huffed. "Ah, then it appears my acting skills have grown rusty–"

"–I'm aware that my words are not making sense at the moment. But, let us put it this way..."

She tilted your chin with her slender fingers.

"Your individual ambition is becoming a threat to Inazuma's goal of eternity."

Your natural instinct was to reach for your belt, but your vision was no longer in reach.

"You have already lost a lot in your pursuit." She didn't have to say anything, but it is clear that she was alluding to your seized vision. "And if each step forward meant that something will be lost, isn't it high time that Inazuma remain static as it is now?"

The situation dawned on you.

"I've already lost her. And I cannot allow myself to lose you too."

Oh.

So this was the game Ei was playing.

"You're..." You chuckled nervously. "You're not going to do what I think you're doing, correct?"

"I was there when Makoto tamed you." She said.

"I strangely recall how she deliberately robbed your vision to prevent you from rushing to her aid five hundred years ago." Ei took one step forward, and you stepped back twice. "I don't seem to be feeling any signs of erosion, because memory serves that you have lost most of your wits in that time. It was my sister who incapacitated you so you wouldn't join her on the battlefield. To Khaenri'ah."

"Almighty Raiden Shogun..." Makoto...

"Ah, so it's Almighty Raiden Shogun now, and not Ei?" She combed your stray hairs back. "We are good friends. I don't need to remind you that."

"Please..." 

Your breath paced irregularly as you timidly grasped the hem of her sleeves. 

You're no longer as cunning as you used to be. There are no tricks nor schemes hiding beneath your sleeves.

All you can do now is beg.

"G-give me my vision back..."

"I was on the front lines five hundred years ago too." Ei continued to ignore you as she rambled on. "And yet, your primary concern has always been my sister instead of me. Why is that? Is it because you have complete faith in my capabilities? It doesn't seem to be the case. It is always I who starts the conversation first, despite living in my sister's shadow."

"E-Ei..."

"If not that, then it couldn't be that you favored the company of my sister over mine, could it? It was I, Raiden Ei, and not Raiden Makoto, who introduced you to Kitsune Saiguu, brought you on picnics with our mutual friends, and spared you the last tricolor dango each time. It was all Raiden Ei. I do not recall my sister spoiling you as much as I did."

And such actions are supposed to make her entitled to your loyalty and affections? You didn't dare question it out loud. The fear of losing your vision– losing yourself– once more is prominent. One's sharp memory is a kitsune's pride. You already lost more than enough of that.

As if to make you steady, Ei cupped your cheeks with both hands. Her lavender eyes softened. 

"Stay." 

Her fingers tightly clutched your side, and you felt her breath tickle your ear.

"Stay, and I shall have you reborn as my spouse that deserved to see Inazuma as the land of Eternity in the present moment and the next. Be my forever."

From then on, you lost sight of who you are. Permanently, this time.

And Raiden Ei made sure of it.

 ------

Ei smiled as she gingerly ran her fingers through your hair. Your eyes were closed as you indulged yourself in her soothing ministrations. She hummed to herself. This is exactly where she needed you to be, laying down peacefully on her lap.

"Won't you take a peek at the outside world, (Y/n)?" She said.

You rolled over and looked at the reflection sluggishly. The water outside seemed to be soothing. You were drawn in by the splashes it made.

You were, nonetheless, strangely uneasy. It appeared as though you had previously held the element in the palm of your hands until it was stolen from you...

"It's a sunshower. I believe this is what you and Yae call 'kitsune no yomeiri'³, is it not?"

... Sunshower?

You could only stare blankly.

Yae? Kitsune no yomeiri?

You returned your gaze back to the puddles outside.

How would you be able to answer? After all, you have never heard of those terms before. It's not as if those unique syllables had any significance for you.

... Did they?

"It's time that I have my bridal procession. I may be the God of Eternity, but you have kept me waiting long enough, my forever."

-----

Notes:

¹ Can't find much about shrine maidens, but shoguji seems to be the head shrine priest's assistant(?)

² Snow-white inari foxes seem to be "good and kind" in mythologies so I added that (the rest of the myth is angsty and i love it lol

³ "Kitsune no yomeiri" or "The Fox's Wedding" often refers to sunshowers since people believe it's a trick caused by kitsune-s.

[xsarcasticwriterx]

Room

Summary: After Hydra captured you and tony they decided to use a weapon that was more terrifying than any gun.

Pairing: Tony stark x reader

Warnings: Smut(imma be honest i dont give a fuck if you aren't 18 pfft), sex pollen, fingering, riding, masturbation,honestly just desperate horny sex, floof floof, Swearing,

Notes: The end to the smut part is kinda shit sorry about that 

How you and tony ended up here was unknown to you. Well not unknown just...complicated. Turns out not all of hydra was taken down in the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. The others sent you and tony in figuring that it would be easy peasy and all make it home before dinner. Well that wasn't the case at all. Turns out they had weapons more powerful then the two of you combined. They subdued your powers and broke tony's suit. 

So now you two are here. Trapped in an empty white room. you paced around looking for anything but to be honest it was so bright you could barely see anything from seeing too much? 

“there's no point there's nothing here” he said from his spot on the floor. you grumbled before sitting against the wall across from the door. “we need to find a way out” you said sighing. Tony opened his mouth before the air started to pour in. it burned as it entered your nostrils. you started coughing like crazy hunched over as you coughed. “hey are you-” tony started but then also started coughing. 

your lungs burned no your whole body burned. you felt like you were on fire. you stopped coughing but the heat in your whole body was still strong. “hey tony you ok?” you asked as you slowly moved towards the wall he laid against. “dont dont just stay” he said putting his hand out. you stopped moving and sat back huffing. That's when you felt it. your whole body tingled and burned but the pooling of wetness between your legs was prominent. you squeezed your thighs and looked at tony who was looking down at his legs. 

Your eyes followed seeing his very present boner. you cleared your throat. “whats going on” you asked in a rush because every word that exited your mouth felt like it took all your might and breath. Tony shook his head. “fuck!” he yelled. “thor he said that on certain planets fucking doesn’t come as a normal thing sO to stop the inevitable extinction of that they use this stuff to make them have to fuck. anyways apparently some parts of the world got their hands on it, used it as a weapon before it got banned.” he said leaning his head on the wall. Sweat fell from his face. “just fucking go over there” he pointed to the other side of the room.

you nodded and crawled to the other side. you sat in the corner but kept adjusting yourself. you squeezed your thighs for some sort of relief. “will this kill us?” you eventually asked. when tony stayed silent you got worried and looked over. he was looking at you hungrily his eyes devoured you. “possibly” he eventually said. “possibly?!” you yelled then groaned the amount that you were turned on was physically starting to hurt. “depends how much your body can take how much heat and pain before giving up” he said before closing his eyes and moving around. 

You sat there sweating your ass off and moving your legs around. anything that usually caused relief was useless. then the heat got worse and a stabbing pain in your uterus happened. You hunched over and screamed. The pain only seemed to increase. “hey hey speak to me whats going on” tony asked. “pain so much fucking pain” you groaned and screamed as another stab came. “and hot so hot” you said tears falling to the ground as you grit your teeth.

“ok ok y/n listen to me” he said clearing his throat. “you need to do this your going to say no because of me but your life is kind of dependent upon it. you need to get yourself off.” he said. you looked at him wide eyes and shook your head “fuck no” you said. “want the pain to stop?” he asked. you screamed feeling the pain and nodded. “then do it” you groaned lifting yourself back to sit against the wall. 

Tony turned around giving you more privacy. you took off your pants and underwear. your hand went to your clit giving you relief you moaned and groaned. you inserted two fingers moaning loud. “jesus oh god” you gasp as your fingers go in and out of you. you look over at tony and see his arm moving up and down. you gulp looking down before speaking. “tony” you whispered but with the echo of the room he heard. “yes?” he whispered back. “you can turn around if you want.” you said.

Tony slowly turned seeing your legs spread and your fingers inside of you. Tony's pants were open slightly lowered from his waist. his boxers were visible and you whimpered at the site of tony so disheveled. You started to move your fingers in and out of you again. you moaned and whimpered. Tony started to push his cock over his boxers. “you can ya know if you want to” you said nodding to his strained dick.

Tony shimmed his boxers down and his cock sprung free. It was long and thick. you groaned and moved faster. you watched as tony started to stroke his cock at the same pace your fingers went. You stared at him jacking off as he stared at you. You started to feel your walls tighten. you head hit the wall as your fingers spend up. your thumb rubbed your clit as your moans got more intense. Your walls squeezed your fingers and you moaned loud. you squeezed your eyes shut and your mouth hung open. The sight of you made tony go faster and groan. 

As your orgasm stopped you still felt like it wasnt enough like nothing would be enough. How do you feel” tony asked between breaths. “still feel like shit” you say. Tony releases his cock and looks down. “me too.” he said. 

You scream feeling the pain again. God why wont this all justs stop. you started to cry the pain was so bad. you curled up hoping it would be like a period cramp and certain positions could stop it but the pain kept going. “y/n...” tony started to say. you looked over at him. Your hair was a sweaty mess your face looked flushed and you just looked like a horny mess.

“We can...it'll stop it if that's what you want.” tony said. He felt bad like he was taking advantage of you. He didn't want you to think he didn't care for you because he did. Hell he loved you, god he wished he told you that before you ended up here. He hated seeing you in pain especially when he could stop it even if it did make things difficult. “is that what you want” you huffed out tears still falling down your face. “I want to stop the pain. I want to help you..in whatever way i can.” tony said. 

you gulped and nodded “help me” you said. Tony crawled over to you and sat you back against the wall. you instinctively opened your legs and tony say between them. “I'm going to make you feel so good princess” he said with a smirk. He kissed you hard but slow. you felt his hand on your thigh. He squeezed it before moving forward. “please” you pleaded against his lips. he smiled and pulled your bottom lip with his teeth. His fingers made contact with your clit and you whimpered, closing your eyes. he pinched it making you moan. He started to move in circles smiling at the noises that came out of your lips.

he kissing your bottom lip before kissing you. his fingers moved inside of you his thumb circling your clit. you moaned against his lips. “that's it let me make the pain go away.” he said his fingers moving in and out. you grabbed onto tony's shoulders. your hips moved meeting his movements. “there we go princess” he said. He bent his fingers meeting a spot that made your mouth open and no noise exit. “jesus fuck tony there please there” you pleaded. His finger massaged the spot he stoked and pushed it. Your walls tighten around his fingers. you pull him closer your head hitting his shoulder. his fingers stroke the spot why still playing with your clit. You moan as you cum on his fingers.

“it still hurts” you mumble into his shoulder. “i know princess i just needed to die down the pain before this” he said pulling away from you. You were sweating even more now and you felt so empty without tony. tony shoved his boxers down and taking off his shirt. He went back to his spot between your legs. “I really wish i could've said this before now but i love you”  he said before entering you. you moaned before you could respond or even process what he said. He bottomed out and kissed your neck.

His fingers found there way back to your clit messing with the very sensitive bundle of nerves. you rocked your hips trying to gain movement. tony took the sign and rocked back and forth. He was trying to be nice but nice isn't what you needed. “faster tony.” you said. tony sped up but it still wasn't enough. grabbing tony's shoulder you made him stop. he looked at you softly. “tony stark you are a playboy ok now rail me” you said desperate. something changed in tony because he pulled out pushing you to the floor and before you could do anything he shoved all the way back into you. 

He grabbed your hips jamming in and out of you at a force you didn't know existed. he played with your clit going from pinching to slapping to rubbing it. you moaned and screamed. grabbing onto tony's shoulder you puled him into a kiss. You felt your walls tighten again from the stimulation your grip in him tightens and tony goes to kissing and marking your neck. 

“cum for me princess” he says. that was all it took for you to unravel under him. you put your head onto his shoulder shutting your eyes. tony pulled out and flipped you over lifting your hips. he held on tightly ramming in and out of you. you felt his movements sputter and you moved your hips to meet his. his nails dug into your skin as his cum flushed into you. he pulled out and flipped you over. “better?” he asked. you nodded “much” you said. 

The pollen seemed to have died down after that. Tony laid next to you and you curled into him. “I love you too stark” you said tracing over his chest. he looked down at you and you looked up. “I have for a while” you said. tony smiled and kissed your forehead. “Let's get the hell out of here princess” he said.