#and i wish i could get a fucking grip

[graysongraysoff]

i hate feelings fr they are so stupid bc it's like

i am like 99% sure i don't want to do zines. i did one and i didn't really enjoy it. having deadlines made writing fic feel like work to me, and fic is supposed to be a fun hobby, not like. a job.

And Yet when my friend mentioned they were doing a nanami zine i was like idk. half-considering applying?? bc i already have an idea for a fic i was going to write if i had gotten into the other nanami zine i applied for a while back. so i figured going in with an idea already pretty much fully formed (and even outlined now!) would make it a little less daunting. and on the other end maybe having a reason to write it would make me actually do it instead of just having the outline in my google drive for another seven months lmao or however long it takes for the mood to strike (if it ever strikes again).

but then i went to look into it and it's an 18+ dark zine, not just like a general nanami zine like the other one, and i'm just. 🫠 well never mind i guess.

except there is. genuinely no reason why this should upset me lol!!! i don't even want to do zines and my friend knows i don't want to do zines and also even if they didn't they can do whatever they want lol like they're the one running the thing not me!!!! and i fully believe that people should be able to make zines about whatever niche shit they want, including 18+/nsfw stuff!!! like go off!!! and honestly i probably still would have hated doing it anyway even if i did get in, bc again the last zine i was in just made me anxious for like three months lmao. but again feelings are stupid and i feel like.............. left out??? 🤡 because i suck really bad and think that everything has to be about me all the time.

like the most reasonable angle i could possibly take on this is like, i guess i'm a little sad that i won't even get to enjoy this zine as a consumer, either, bc i have. i would say less than zero interest in 18+ fandom content, lol. like idk i'll probably buy a pdf just to support and just. not open it i guess, lmfao. which is such baby shit. bc i suck extremely badly and i only like nsfw content when it's 1.) written and 2.) involves myyyy special oc. like even if i wasn't going to be in the zine i was kind of excited at the prospect of another nanami zine, except now i'm like. well fuck me i guess lmfao. (but not even sarcastically like seriously fuck me bc i'm a whiny shitty baby.) bc i'm a fucking star wars fanboy i guess and i can't deal with the fact that not all content is for me.

[lgbtlunaverse]

While I think the moment in cql where Meng Yao– still bleeding from a stab wound in his chest btw– realizes Lan Xichen is in danger and decides to save the man who was so kind to him in cloud recesses is cute and all, nothing will ever beat the book for me. Little bookkeeper civilian Meng Yao, who has not had a serious chance to make his dreams of being a cultivator come true in fucking years, out of nowhere gets the fucking sect leader of Gusu Lan dropped right in his lap?

It's such a great example of Meng Yao's multilayered motivations to me. Because is civilian Meng Yao thinking of all the ways he can use this? Of the fact that having a great sect leader in his debt is the best thing that could happen to him? Duh. Obviously.

Is he very purposeful about appearing to Lan Xichen as a kind young man full of untapped potential, brave and willing to put his life on the line even though he really doesn't know so much about about cultivators, no sir, except a little he picked up here and there, because you see his father– 👉👈 Of course he is!

But the way through which he does that is... by actually saving Lan Xichen's life, at no doubt significant personal risk. The way he makes Lan Xichen believe he's kind and selfless is by... being kind and selfless. Just because he's doing it on purpose doesn't mean he's not doing it.

Is it lying if you want people to think you're nice and so you're nice to them? Isn't that just called being nice? Yes, he is very purposeful about how he appears to people, and very carefully crafts an image based on what he wants them to think of him, but most of the time he does that simply by... actually being the kind of person he wants to appear as. He still did the kind things he did, regardless of his motivations for doing them.

[gojoest-main]

i don’t mean to be dramatic but gojoest will remain locked for the foreseeable future

[scrawnytreedemon]

While I intend this blog to remain a largely news-free space due to the constant hellstate of the world, let me be clear that I stand in full support of both the Palestinian and Jewish peoples who are currently experiencing relentless hate and suffering in these horrid times.

I am disgusted at the number of people, especially "progressives" on this website who have used this situation to spread both Islamophobia and Antisemitism. This goes double if you dared to reblog those "punch nazis/fascists <3" and "[x] are welcome here!" posts while in the next breath spreading dangerous fucking narratives that kill people.

So many people in online political spaces evidently see this as nothing more than a case of picking "sides", when ultimately what matters is supporting the oppressed against fascist governments and militias, wherever they are.

Common people will always have more alike with each other than their leaders. This is not a novel concept. Your activism should always be motivated by love and compassion first, and hatred second. If you use your beliefs as an excuse to find an acceptable target to vent your hatred towards regardless of the actual material outcome, you are no fucking activist.

You're a bigot.

[t8oo]

there is some symbolism iv never considered in that one episod of pt5 where zenigata rescues fujiko before she kills lupin

[teddybeartoji]

i'm sorry i didn't plan anything for xmas btwww well i did Plan things they just didn't work out the way i wanted to which is somehow . even worse lmao ANYWAYYYYYY i'm sorry i just feel like i'm not giving back enough bc you're all so fucking good to meeeeeeee but i will be better... for you.....

[willowchild]

I think it's dumb to boycott Eurovision. How exactly does it help Palestinians?? You're boycotting for no reason at all. It's not even that the song is advocating for something bad. Those who don't fall for Instagram faux activism will have fun while your performative ass that knows nothing about the conflict will obstain. Nothing will be gained if you don't watch it, I know the infographic said otherwise lmao

[charliextea]

don’t you love it when someone comes to front and impulse buys a bunch of stuff only they will enjoy wearing, knowing full well they are barely ever out???

[whereowlsknowmyname]

I wish I could have been what you wanted

[folkinsomnia]

screaming myself hoarse til I pass out we were together during a very tumultuous time in our lives I will always have your back and be curious about you about your career your whereabouts!!!

[stinkbeck]

god damn. will these whiny straight guys ever stop publishing thinkpieces about how it's oppression that we aren't forced to buy their books?

[bribes]

gnawing on ankle

[featuresofinterest]

my (democratic!!!) rep voted to censure rashida tlaib this country sucks so much ass

[buck-yyyy]

i feel Very Weird

[royalpane]

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