#and i will sooner die than abandon my ship

[izzymarksthespot]

We won (but at what cost)

[kookieskookiejar]

Star Wars AU

Dark Lord Jungkook x Rebellion Rookie Jedi Reader

Synopsis:

When you're captured by The New Order, you were sure the end of your life would come sooner than later, and being a rebellion pandawan, you've accepted death long before it came knocking, and you knew it'd come any time, just not this soon. However, what you didn't expect was to learn how to live under the man everyone fears.

Warnings under the cut!

Warnings: Mild bloodshed, mild slowburn, inaccurate depictions of the star wars universe (I'm sorry, I tried my best 😅), low-key tsundere Jungkook, age gap but both consenting adults, fluff, smut, face sitting, unprotected s*x, ch*king, body worship, Jungkook is a whipped mess ngl.

A/N: DON'T LIKE DON'T READ, SCROLL AND MOVE ON.

The cold cell was almost unbearable, you were obviously not dressed for this, thinking you’d be in Tatooine for a few days for a mission with your master along with the other fellow padawans, and now here you are, surrounded by four concrete walls, not even with your force could you break yourself out, you’re no Luke Skywalker, not even a window in this goddamn cell, not even a water bowl, the paper cup they had given you now drained next to you, your throat parched even though you haven’t spoken a word.

You kick the paper cup out of anger, this wasn’t supposed to happen, if only your master took your advice and ran for it, it was obvious that all of you were outnumbered, especially with him in the equation, you shudder, recalling the chill that ran down your spine, the scene was everyone’s worst nightmare, seeing that red lightsaber glow in the dark, his cape bellowing whilst a sandstorm brews behind because of the engine of his ship.

Lord Jungkook is his name, and he’s the current leader of The New Order, and he’s as ruthless as they come, everyone who used to know him describes him as a cold blooded killer, that he strives to prove himself to be even more cruel than Darth Vader, that he wanted to exceed the image of what was deemed the best, or the worst, depending on your political stance.

You muster up a weak depreciating chuckle, all your life, abandoned by your parents, sacrificing your childhood for the never ending training, and for what? Just to die this fucking soon in a worn down cell.

Your life has no meaning, all that pain and all those sleepless nights for nothing, no one’s going to remember you, you’ll just be another statistic, if you’re lucky enough that is, so many jedis are killed and no one finds out until months later, and that’s if they found the body or someone heard the news through word of mouth.

Before you could spiral any further down, someone unlocks your cell, three stormtroopers march in, heaving you up to your feet.

“Walk, and don’t try anything funny,” the clone demanded, his blaster pointed right at the juncture of your neck.

You don’t know where they’re taking you, every hallway looks the same, the same stark white hallway with lights that are too bright for your eyes, now you know why everyone wears a goddamn helmet here, you’re getting a migraine just from walking these few minutes.

When you finally reach a lift to the top floor, you were surprised by the dark interior, and that’s when you feel it, the same chilling feeling running down your spine, your hairs standing on its ends, immediately scanning your surroundings, looking for a way out.

“Don’t even think about it, walk,” the guard next to you says while the other requests for entrance with the other guard that’s sitting at the reception, the one next to you, stiffens up when those doors slid open.

There, a figure stands with their front facing the windows that show the beautiful red planet at a distance, the planet looking so much smaller from this height.

Jungkook is so much taller from a closer distance, you can see the back of his head, his hair gelled neatly, his helmet perched on the windowsill.

When the troopers leave, he finally turns to look at you, and you stop breathing briefly, not because of his force, but because of how drop dead gorgeous he is, his big piercing eyes stare right into your soul, his face screwed into an emotionless expression, but one thing that you can just tell from his face is that he’s not someone who’d let someone off lightly if he gets pissed off.

“You’re the one who tried to throw that boulder at my face, you’re more powerful than the other padawans” he states, rounding his desk with slow strides, his eyes calculating every micro expression that you refuse to show.

“Why? Hurt your pride?” you asked, sarcasm dripping in your tone, might as well piss him off and have his lightsaber plunged in your abdomen, it’s better to make this death quick.

“No, in fact, you piqued my interest, you’re not like the others, you’re smart, more powerful, I bet you’re not your master’s favourite, you intimidate him too much, I bet, I can offer you so much more,” Jungkook offers, leaning back onto his desk as he watches you with a quirk of his lips, his first expression of the night.

“No thanks, training under you would be even worse than that old man, just kill me like how you probably had the rest of them killed,” you say after a heave of dry laughter, that’s all you could muster up right now.

“It’d be a waste to just kill you, it’d be wasting too much potential, and I promise I’ll reward you generously, I’ll appreciate you more than that old geezer,” Jungkook banters, as if he could just tell from your face that you were treated unfairly under your master, now you know why he’s at the top, when he can’t kill his way up, he sweet talks his way through.

“How do I know you’re not lying?” you ask, pulling the thin jacket closer to your body for warmth, is this guy numb to feeling cold even?

“I won’t, you have my word… isn’t this arrangement better than death?” Jungkook says with a quirk of his brow.

“I thought someone like you would understand that death is better than many things in life in a time like this,” you say, looking into the dark space, gaze faraway, suddenly lost in thought, death feels very welcoming now, after what you've been through, and how there seems to be nothing waiting for you in the future.

You got so used to the feeling of Jungkook’s presence that you didn’t even realise he was next to you until he draped his jacket over your shoulders.

“I see myself in you, I won’t be like your old master, you might be wondering why I’d choose to do this… let’s just say, I don’t want you to end up in worse hands,” Jungkook says with an amusing glimmer in his eyes.

“Aren’t you the worst of them all?” you ask, turning to him, the movement has his scent wafting up your nostrils, and boy doesn’t he smell refreshing against all the desensitised clones and their hard suits.

“To others maybe, but I’m willing to be better towards you, it’s always only been a matter of choice for me,” Jungkook’s nowhere near a good person, but hearing him say this, when his hands are stained with endless bloodshed of his victims; it’s as if he could sense what you’re thinking because he speaks up before you could.

“I only kill those who don’t surrender…half of the time at least,” Jungkook adds after checking the stats at the back of his head, he doesn’t enjoy sugarcoating.

“Fine, but I’m blasting myself out of space with no oxygen if you piss me off,” you don’t why you’re agreeing to his offer when pretty much lost any desire to continue living on this life, it’s a stretch to hope that being on the dark side would be any better, but you’re willing to try, you have nothing to lose afterall.

Training with Jungkook is hard, but you don’t feel as burnt out, maybe it’s also the fact that Jungkook is a busy man, hence training never goes beyond 3 hours, it could be also the fact that you are very well fed here, no more fearing for a lack of supplies or eating beyond your limit when you’re no longer a pandawan under your master who was always on the run with a bunch of other pandawans where everything was stretched thin.

Today is no different, other than the fact that you’re blind folded, you’ve done this before, but you’re definitely no match against the Lord of the dark side of all people.

“You have to focus on the force, don’t be intimidated by my presence, just act like I’m R9F7,” you hear Jungkook say before you hear the robot himself speak up.

“Master, Miss almost took off my entire arm the last time I trained with her!” The robot speaks up in panic.

“Well I’m not you, am I? It’ll take a lot more to take off my arm,” Jungkook says before he deflects the metal stick in your hand, “Good job, you’re doing much better,” Jungkook praises before you manage to catch him again, having managed to pinpoint his presence, a brief sword fight breaks out between the two of you before Jungkook calls for a stop, his nimble fingers taking off your blindfold.

“Good job, you’re dismissed for the day, join me for dinner later, I’ll send R9F7 to fetch you,” Jungkook says before he retreats to the other side of the training room where the gym equipments are at, starting his own training of the day, he never fails to keep his body in its best condition.

“Dinner, with who?” you ask, usually you just eat with everyone else in the canteen where everyone else goes to, there’s not many places to go to on this ship anyways, but you’ve never seen Jungkook go down to have dinner with anyone else, you assume he eats in his own quarters or something.

“Just me, why? I’m not enough for you now, is that it?” Jungkook asks, obviously joking, but you can't read his expression, given that he's currently doing pull ups, his arms and back slightly distracting to you, just the slightest, you tell yourself.

“No! It’s just that, I thought you needed to show up to some event and I needed to show up or something,” you say, thanking R9F7 for fetching you a glass of water.

“I don’t have an audience with anyone yet, maybe in a month’s time, this is just a casual dinner,” Jungkook tells you while he starts doing his archer pull ups, and you’re so glad that damn robot had gone to refill your glass of water, that damn metal head cannot know you’re gawking at the way Jungkook’s arms flex against his weight, muscles rippling while your mouth waters.

“Y-yeah, okay, is there anything else?” you ask after snapping yourself out of that trance that’s stronger than any force.

“No, you’re free to leave if you want to,” Jungkook says, “but you have lessons with Captain Yoongi right?” Jungkook, being the busy man he is, sure is very clear with your schedule.

“Yeah,” you confirm, preparing to take your leave.

“Don’t crash into anymore asteroids, we have limited fighter ships on this ship, when we’re back on base, you can start making more mistakes,” Jungkook reminds you, obviously poking fun at you, if the tone wasn’t obvious enough, the slight upturn of his lips is a giveaway when he drops himself down to face you, you’re slightly taken aback, this is definitely not what most people see when they interact with Jungkook.

“If I’m making more mistakes when we’re back to base then I’m a failure,” you say with a huff after gathering your bearings, recalling all the moments your old master called you that.

“In all of my years of experience, I’ve met many failures, and you’re definitely not one, being bad at something is nature, being bad at fying a ship isn’t the end of the world, I could always get you a droid to do it, you just need to know how to get yourself out of an emergency if the droid isn’t available, it’s not a big deal,” Jungkook says before he finishes his set, the joking tone in his voice gone.

“Don’t worry, I like flying ships, hopefully I won’t need a droid to fly me everywhere, I’ll take my leave, or Captain Yoongi is gonna throw a fit again,” you say before retreating to the door.

“See you tonight,” you hear Jungkook say before you parrot it back to him.

You thought it’d be awkward to have dinner with Jungkook, but it’s going better than you ever imagined. Right now, you’re talking about your day with Captain Yoongi.

“He was like, ‘Kid, I’m not used to teaching someone who I’m not allowed to get mad at, and the fact that I won’t be able to even if I want to, I don’t lash out at women, don’t want my mother to pop in my head and give me a scolding’, then he started cursing at how the force works,” you retell before he breaks into yet another fit of laughter.

“Why did he say that even? What did you do to the old man?” Jungkook asks before he continues cutting into his steak, patiently waiting for you to continue your story.

“I said if you keep sighing you should just let a droid teach me,” you say before Jungkook doubles over, his piece of sliced steak forgotten, and at that moment, you think Jungkook has a pretty smile.

Today, you’re having a bad day, you couldn’t sleep well last night, your insomnia is always worse at the tail end of your menstrual cycle, so you’re naturally feeling really moody today, the sleep deprivation and changing hormones are getting to you.

Unfortunately for you, today you’re starting a new form of training, and it’s said to be hard, Jungkook described this as a form of virtual projection, crazy how a pair of goggles could teleport the two of you to a realistic battle.

You groan when the words ‘defeat’ flash across your sight.

“You need to focus, if you can’t get through this stimulation, how can you survive out there?” Jungkook asks, he doesn’t sound mad, he just sounds…realistic, for a lack of better word.

“Spar me,” Jungkook says before he gets into position.

“We can just do this without the goggles,” you suggest, but get into position anyways, sighing as you do so, this is going to be a long day.

“The wooden sticks are all the way in the gym, come on, just a little bit longer,” Jungkook says, but he could see the way your shoulders drop.

“Start,” Jungkook says before he advances onto you, he knows you’d never make the first move, your fighting style is always more on the defense.

The small stick that’s supposed to imitate your lightsaber hums when it clashes with Jungkook’s in the game, It’s like your body awakens, your brain going into fight mode when you dodge Jungkook’s second attack, planning on striking your leg after he identified that he can’t continue advancing with the first move, and you use the force to propel yourself backwards, your master never likes it when you do that, says it’s a sign of cowardice, but you’re not like the others, you strive for survival, which is why you didn’t think twice before you used the force to throw a rock at Jungkook, which he quickly sliced apart with his lightsaber, a look of bewilderment on his face.

“I had no idea you could do that in here, must be why we need to wear these gloves and weird socks on our legs,” Jungkook says before you see the mischief in his eyes, and that’s when you see it, his hands grasping the air in a similar movement to yours before you see a wrecked ship being hurled towards you.

You did a quick backflip, using the force to lift you in the air higher, landing back on the ground on your two feet.

“Now you’re just showing off,” Jungkook says before he advances onto you again, you deflect his attacks, the red of the imitation weapon glows dangerously close to your body, you would’ve been able to feel the heat of it if the two of you were using real lightsabers.

“Come on, this can’t be the best you can give me,” Jungkook taunts before he reels back and does a quick turn, catching you off guard, and immediately you panic, taking one hand off the stick to summon the force to push him back, sending Jungkook backwards, skidding on one knee to balance himself, before you feel yourself naturally wielding the lightsaber towards Jungkook, and right before you would’ve stabbed him, not that he’d get hurt in the simulation, you stopped, recalling that this is merely training, and that you’re not in actual danger, that Jungkook wouldn’t hurt you.

“You knocked the wind out of me, I had my guard down, but that was good,” Jungkook says as he gets up from his kneeled position.

“Sorry, I lost myself just now,” you said, your hand fidgeting with the stick.

“Don’t worry about it, being immersed in a fight is a good thing,” Jungkook says before he takes the goggles off, “let’s stop here for today, get some rest, you look like you need it,” Jungkook says before he disappears from your view, and you do the same, the virtual warzone disappearing right in front of your eyes.

“Sorry, I didn’t sleep all that well last night, I’ll be better tomorrow,” you say as you pack up the equipment back to where it was.

“Don’t apologise, all of us have bad days, and if it’s too much, you could always let me know, get sufficient rest, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Jungkook says with a comforting smile before he leaves, probably rushing off to a meeting with the council or something.

The first rumble of the spaceship had you jerking awake from the comfort of your bed, bounding out of bed with unsteady footsteps, you hold onto the side of your cabinet to look out your window, and you catch sight of x-wings and their lasers hitting the ship, immediately you start to sway at your feet.

You get dressed as quick as possible before running down to the control centre where you know Jungkook will probably be at by now.

No one questions when you step into the room, and you’ve never seen Jungkook this serious ever since the day you first met him, brows furrowed and his jaw clenched, the situation must not be looking too ideal, but still he senses you when you’re near him, turning away from the panels to look at you briefly.

“Not hurt?” he asks, Captain Yoongi casts a curious glance at his boss, but he remains silent.

“No, the protective shields on my side held up,” you answer, it’s nothing, standard procedure to check if the ship is alright, why did Yoongi find it weird?

Jungkook nods before he turns back to Yoongi, taking note of the situation and how their fighters are doing.

“It’s not ideal, there’s quite a large amount of those fuckers, half of our lasers are down, and the shields are at 40%,” Yoongi informs.

“Tell them to prepare my ship, I’ll handle them myself,” Jungkook says before he turns, preparing to descend down to the flight deck, his cape bellowing at his quick movement, you never liked capes, but you guess it’s tradition for the supreme leaders on the dark side.

“Wait! Alone?” you ask, a sliver of worry blooming in your chest, Jungkook always seemed invincible in your eyes when you only knew him through all the rumours, disregarding him as a person, that he might die, but now that you know him personally, he doesn’t seem as invincible anymore when he's no longer a myth in your head.

“Is that an issue?” Jungkook asks, confusion clear as day on his face, but his tone authoritative, you don’t dare to question him, it’s not your place to do so, especially not in front of everyone, Jungkook lets you get away with a lot of things, but this is probably not one of them.

“No, not an issue,” you say before letting go of his arm, and when he walked out, you could immediately see the tension in the people’s shoulders drop.

“He’s gonna be fine, kid, he’s got a reputation after all, he earned that through all the blood on his hands,” Yoongi reminds you before he gets back to his job, typical of your other mentor, he’s never the type to communicate more than what’s enough.

You stand idle as you watch the chaos unfold, Jungkook’s ship easily distinguishable by the additional purple streaks he had them installed when he didn’t like how his ship isn’t all that different from the others.

It swerves and dodges the x-wings’ lasers, zooming past the slower ones that got distracted by the other tie-fighters with a blast from his blasters attached to his ship, the red lasers dashing past, making contact with the jets before it blows up.

Every time he flies too fast and close to the exploding ships, you fear his ship is the one getting blown up.

The tension in your own shoulders drops slightly when you could see that the empire is winning with the dwindling numbers of ships.

“Fuck,” Yoongi curses, but before you could ask why, you see it, a large rebel mothership emerges from a lightspeed portal, surrounded by more x-wings.

“We need more people out there! Deploy the remaining teams!” Yoongi shouts into the intercom system.

“How are the stakes looking now, Cap?”you ask as you watch, then you feel it, the tremor of the bond, the one that you thought would never be established between you and Jungkook, the ‘force’ bond that establishes between a master and a padawan, you can feel how stress he is, his anger sizzling through the air that only you can feel in this room.

“Not very good, it’s going to need a lot of our firepower to take out the mothership,” Yoongi tells you before he barks more orders at the people around him, directing them on how to take down the mothership with the bigger blasters attached to the ship.

Suddenly, a staff let out a gasp of alarm.

“Captain, one of main blasters are jammed, we were supposed to use it to blow out the mothership, at least to deter it before we decide to hyperspace jump if needed,” the man said, but he immediately clams up when he sees how dark Yoongi’s face had gotten significantly darker.

“And there’s no way to fix it?” Yoongi asks, his fists balled at his sides.

“The droid that is supposed to fix that section of the ship got damaged by a stray laser from the battle going on nearby,” the woman next to the man explains, you can sense the overwhelming amount of fear emitting from the two of them, the rest of the staff’s emotions peaking as well.

“I can defend myself out there, tell me how to fix it,” you ask the man, the poor guy not knowing how to respond at first, expecting the pandawan of Lord Jungkook to be just as brutal as the man himself, but before the man could answer to your demands, Yoongi speaks out immediately.

“No, if anything happens to you, Jungkook would have someone’s head,” Yoongi explains, arms crossed against his chest, his eyes stern.

“Well, if we die, he would have no heads to behead so…” you remind Yoongi, rocking on your heels, you know he’d budge, Yoongi is a man of logic, and he always says he isn’t paid enough to be this stressed out about this job.

“Fine, don’t you dare die,” Yoongi warns you before he delves right into the logistics of what went wrong and how to fix it.

“I’m serious kid, don’t you dare fucking die, kid,” Yoongi warns one last time as he helps you with the oxygen mask and oxygen tank.

“Make sure you don’t damage the hose from your tank, there’s a spare tank under hatches where the ship is marked red if you run out, a red flash would keep appearing if there’s a leak or if the oxygen levels start getting low,” Yoongi reminds you one last time.

“I know I know, Cap, you’ve told me so many times I’ve lost count on how many times you repeated this,” you joke as you try to cope with your nerves.

“Okay, I’ll be watching you from here, don’t get out of sight,” was the last thing Yoongi said before you stepped into the escape hatch area before the doors opened and the sight of the on-going battle greets you without any barriers, goosebumps rise on your skin when you take the first step into zero gravity.

Immediately your feet were jerked to stick to the surface of the ship, the magnetic shoes work at least, you think to yourself.

Following Yoongi’s directions, you quickly located the main blaster that was stuck.

However, before you could remove the debris that had the blaster stuck underneath its hatch, you caught the attention of a x-wing that had just took down a few tie fighters, and immediately it fires at your direction, the shield is still up, but you’re not part of the ship, you’d get strike down instantly, and so you did what your fight or flight response told you to do, and that was to roll away before your hand shoots out to jerk the ship away, but sadly, due to its weight, the ship barely moved, it was onto you again once you were back on your two feet.

The x-wing was coming onto you quick, diving down to where you stood, and you let the force guide you, doing a flip to get out of its way before your hand quickly retrieves your lightsaber that was strapped to your space suit to strike the wing of the x-wing, a huge chunk of the wing was chopped off and the ship goes skidding behind you before it comes crashing against the exterior of the control room, the ship blows up but the mothership is unscathed due to the shield barrier surrounding the ship.

A tremor goes through your body when you see Jungkook’s personal ship in your peripheral vision, you can feel the worry in the bond the both of you share, you don’t dwell on his reaction, quickly getting on your feet to fix the blaster as soon as possible, finally getting it unstuck.

Jungkook’s ship makes its way near you again, and you think he’s going to give you a quick ride back to the docking area, but before he could do so, you see a few ships tailing his, coming a little too close to comfort to where both you and Jungkook are situated, an ambush, a flurry of red and white chasing the lone black ship, the rebellion are really eyeing every opportunity to have Jungkook dead.

It was instinctual, you were raised to not have any fear, to die for the cause, even though you weren’t all that dedicated to any of the sides you have been on, but Jungkook is Jungkook, he’s not a side, and you don’t understand why you’re risking your life for him, but it just felt right when you harness all the force in your being to constrain the three ships together, the one in the middle exploding from the pressure while the other two begin to catch fire from the damage, the damage must’ve caught Jungkook’s attention, because before you felt all the energy fade from your body, you see his ship turn its back to you, flashes of red lasers are the last thing you see before your body slumps, your vision blacking out to fade into darkness.

Soft, to the point of being close to what you imagine sleeping on a cloud would feel like, is this how death feels like? So all the jedi afterlife world was complete bullshit? Not surprised, you always thought those jedis that claim to see their dead masters were all in such dire and desperate situations that they started having hallucinations.

But then you feel it, the receptors at the tips of your fingers, the smooth sheets under your palm, you’re alive, then you feel yourself jolting out of bed when your eyes pry themselves open in surprise, a gasp leaving your chest as you sit up.

“Miss is awake! I’ll fetch Lord Jungkook immediately!” you hear the voice of a droid say before the sound of the doors opening and closing reaches your ears.

Another droid dashes to tend to you, checking your pulse, your vision, and brain activity.

“Everything seems to be normal, miss, do you need me to fetch you anything?” the droid asks.

“You’re dismissed, I need to get ready for Jungkook’s arrival,” you say before you decide to power off the droid yourself, you're never too comfortable with droids anyways.

You quickly dash to your bathroom to wash up, change and comb your bird nest of hair, god forbid you let anyone see you like this.

When you come out of your bathroom, you spot Jungkook standing next to the droid, the droid rattling off your stats like it’s listing out a list of resources the ship needs when it lands for a refill.

“You shouldn’t have turned him off, what if you fainted in the bathroom?” Jungkook asks, turning to you after the droid was done with the updates.

“I was overexerted from using all that force, all that sleep got me feeling more refreshed than ever, he said I slept for two days straight,” you nod at the droid’s direction.

“Force exertion is the equivalent to getting a serious injury,” Jungkook says as his eyes scan your face for any signs of pain or discomfort, his hand reaches up to feel your forehead, if those doe eyes won’t be the death of you, that hand will be, you thought to yourself mindlessly before the rational part of your brain scolds you and tells those voices to shut up.

When Jungkook finally deemed you alright, the gentleness in his eyes disappeared.

“What were you thinking out there?! You could’ve gotten yourself killed!” Jungkook bursts out, the cold gaze he usually reserves for others now directed to you, but instead of cowering in fear in silence like others, you’re taken aback by that tone directed at you, never once has he ever reprimanded you this way, not even when you were first taken in as hostage, but you’re never the type to back down when a man raises his voice at you.

“Well, maybe I wanted to die! I was ready to die back when I first got here anyways!”

Jungkook is rarely ever speechless, this is the first time you’ve seen him flabbergasted, and in the worst way possible, you've never felt his wrath on you, the effect making your hairs stand on its ends.

“Did you still want to die? All this time? Even after being under my care?” Jungkook asks, his tone deadly, even if you were deaf, you’d be able to feel it through the force.

“I..” but before you could explain yourself out of the situation, or try to help him understand what you're uncertain you're even feeling yourself, you see the familiar bright sliver of his dagger, the one that you know he keeps by his side as a last means of defense, a weapon that is perfectly deadly in the hands of someone with the force.

You quickly dodge out of the way, summoning the force beneath your feet to elevate yourself, the dagger touching the tip of your feet, you're fast on your feet, on defense, but Jungkook has always been quick on offence, it's why the two of you work so well, the sound of a twang sounds behind you when the dagger etches into the wall, just the tip, before it lands on the metal floor.

“Stop defending yourself if you just want to die!” Jungkook bellows before he comes storming towards you, the blazing red glow of his lightsaber emitting off his sharp features.

At this moment, you don't want to die, you don't want to die seeing Jungkook angry, you don't want to die knowing that you had disappointed him, and so you draw your own lightsaber, quickly deflecting his own, the lasers deflecting sparks off each other, your lightsabers a contrast with one another, Jungkook’s being a shade of dark red, and yours being a faint shade of rogue, his eyes widen at the familiar colours, hesitation flickers across his face, and that's when you make your move, summoning force to your forefront to send Jungkook thumbling a few steps backwards while you catch your breath.

“I don't know how I want to live my life yet! I haven’t phased out from the life I led before you picked me up,” you say, your eyes downcast, you don’t know how to face him, in your defence, that’s the harsh truth, you were always wishing to leave, to get out, but you didn’t think that day would actually come until it did, and now you’re lost, all your life, you’ve been drifting aimlessly, a tree without roots, you don’t know your origins, you don’t know your future, and coming to terms to that in front of a person who probably has everything figured out is…shameful.

You finally look up from where your eyes were previously trained on the rough grip you had on the staff of your lightsaber, even though you could feel Jungkook’s hostility decreasing through the feel of the force, you know he isn’t entirely not angry, and your suspicions are confirmed when you’re greeted by the sight of his locked jaw and cold eyes, his lips still set in a thin line, but his lightsaber is switched off.

“I offered you the position of succeeding me, but you won’t take it, I was paving you a path, a way to live your life, you just have to say yes,” Jungkook looks at you, now with more warmth in his eyes, hopeful, but you can’t, you can’t promise him and yourself something that you’re so uncertain of.

“I’m not sure I have the capabilities to lead as well as you, and I’m not sure if that’s the life I want to live, I’m sorry, Jungkook,” you might as well be honest, it’s manipulative to lead him on just for the sake of the benefits of living here, under the protection of the new order and Jungkook, and if he wishes to end your life right here, then he has every right to.

“You disappoint me,” Jungkook mutters before he turns his back to leave the room, leaving you wondering if maybe you should’ve just said yes to appease him, or that maybe death is a better fate than disappointing the person who you actually sort of look up to.

Later in the day, you don’t see Jungkook, everyone’s busy with packing to get ready to return to base, a first for you, you didn’t even know where you would’ve been staying until a droid came over to tell you that it would be responsible for escorting you to your new quarters.

When you finally arrive, you’re greeted by the sight of a healthy green planet, you were quick to get off, with your limited belongings, the droid enthusiastically escorting you to your new quarters, which turns out to be a large unit within the base.

“Everything’s been modelled to suit the aesthetic you had picked prior, miss, the fridge is stocked, heating is available, running water is available, heated water as well, I was also advised to stock up your wardrobe, everything is according to the measurements you sent, and whatever daily necessities you may need, miss, when things run out, just type in what you need in the tablet available by your bedside, miss,” the droid explains with wide gestures and quick steps to show where everything is.

“Thank you, you’re dismissed, I won’t be needing anything else,” you say with a curt bow, to which the droid returns.

“Before I leave, here’s your keycard, miss, but you can use the facial recognition system which can be turned off in the settings panel as well, no one can come into your room without authorisation, so don’t worry about anyone barging into your room, miss, that is all, miss, have a good rest, miss,” the droid says before finally stepping out the door.

So this is where you’ll be staying when you’re not travelling, you look around with a huff, it is nice, but you’ve never lived in such a spacious place before, being on the run meant you had to sleep in tight places with someone in your personal space, maybe you’re a greedy bitch for wanting the luxuries that come with being Jungkook’s pandawan without accepting the duties that come with it, should you leave? Will he kill you if you do? With all the secrets you know, he probably will…this is a deadend for you.

A few days have passed since arriving to base and Jungkook and you have this cold war going on, you’ve only seen him in passing, he hasn’t scheduled a lesson ever since the confrontation, and maybe it’s a good thing, maybe he needs more time to think of what to do with you, in all honesty, you wouldn’t mind just being one of his fighters, at least you’ll get to stay.

There was a sudden fanfare today when you were out for lunch, you got to know what when the waitress sees you looking confused in your spot, watching the soldiers lining up outside a ship.

“You must be new here, that’s Lord and Lady Kim, they’re close friends with Lord Jungkook, dear, they’re the only few that know of this location and can freely travel in and out of base,” she explains before scurrying away when someone flags for her attention. You quickly finish up your food and return to the main building, it’s best to return in case you’re needed for whatever.

Celebrations were still ongoing when you got back, hopping off your hover car and quickly thanking the droid who works in the valet service.

You ask around to find out that the main celebrations are taking place in the grandhall, where major events are held and important announcements are made, which means the waitress was telling the truth about Lord and Lady Kim being very closely affiliated with Jungkook.

You’ve never seen the grandhall being decorated to the nines, so when the droids open the doors for you, you’re surprised by the grandeur decorations spanning the entire room, even the serving droids look freshly waxed, handing out food and champagne to everyone on shiny platters.

You spot Captain Yoongi a few feet away, nursing a glass of whiskey by himself.

“Hey, do you know them personally?” you ask when Yoongi sees you.

“Kind of yeah, but I’m not one of those kiss-assers,” Yoongi jokes with a jerk of his head to where the crowd is gathered, probably where Lord and Lady Kim are.

“You should say hi at least, be a good friend, cap,” you joke.

“The fact that I’m here is already a reach, I could be taking a nap right now and waited until the dinner to see them,” he retrots, finishing his glass before flagging down a droid for another glass, the two of you watching the people silently, if there’s anything the two of you can definitely get by, it’s people watching, or for Yoongi, people judging.

A few minutes later, the crowd finally parts, and everyone can see why, Jungkook has arrived and has gone straight for the couple, when the crowd parts, so does who you think is Lord Kim and Lady Kim, both of them tall in stature with kind smiles on their faces, you avert your gaze to the side and that's when you see him, Jungkook, saying something to Lord Kim, but when he feels your gaze on him, he diverts his attention to your direction, immediately his eyes harden at the sight of you.

“That's my cue to leave, cap,” you say before quickly downing the rest of your glass.

“Are you seriously going to avoid him forever?” Captain Yoongi asks with a scoff, “you and I both know he's never going to come around, so don't be the stubborn one, kid, he's way more stubborn,” he says, and you know what he means by that, Jungkook has an ego that comes with his reputation after all.

“I just need to figure some things out and so does he, I'm gonna go now, don't miss me too much,” you say before quickly sneaking away.

“Mind telling me who's the young lady that's got you so riled up yet you have no plans of killing her?” Namjoon asks his long time friend, Jungkook is like a younger brother to him at this point if he was being honest, so of course he's intrigued by Jungkook acting this way, a first in the many years he's known him since they were children.

“She's my pandawan, but she rejected my offer of having her lead the new order after me,” Jungkook mutters with disappointment before downing his glass, welcoming the burn of the alcohol down his throat.

“She's not that young though, do you plan on retiring early?” Namjoon asks with a shock, his wife, Sejin is intrigued as well, Jungkook isn't the type to hand over power so quickly based on their understanding of their dear friend.

“She's still many years younger than me, I could still take on another pandawan, or she could, was my initial plan, no one else had piqued my interest like she did, everyone else lacks in talent,” Jungkook explains.

“So you're mad she doesn't want to be your successor? Then you should just dismiss her as pandawan, you can always find a new one” Namjoon suggests with a dismissive wave of his hand, but Sejin could tell something was bothering him and that her husband's dismissive suggestion isn't something Jungkook wants to hear.

“Maybe you can keep her as your right hand woman, not everyone wants to be a leader, Jungkook,” she suggests, and from the way she could see you standing there in silence instead of socialising with the rest of the crowd, she could just tell you have no desire to lead an entire nation.

“Quite out of character for you to not kill her once she told you that,” Namjoon notes, which earns a swat on the arm by his wife, she doesn't want someone dying out of her husband's silly suggestion of all things, they did leave behind this life to lead a peaceful one, and that means as less bloodshed as possible, even indirectly.

“I wanted to, but I couldn't,” Jungkook says without further elaboration as he notes that you have already left the hall.

Namjoon and his wife share a look between themselves when they see the little bits of forlorn on his face that aren't obvious to others.

After a long day of training with R9F7 and practice flying a ship with Captain Yoongi, you felt tired and in dire need of a nap after a shower. When you had finally woken up, you thought of heading down the dining hall for dinner, but a small bouquet of flowers by your doorstep had you stopped in your tracks.

Miffed by the sight of it, you quickly look around to see who left it there, but noting that it's dinnertime now, chances of the person delivering the flowers having left long ago are quite high, so you bring it back in to read the note.

Written in what you presume is the florist’s handwriting, due to how neat it is, is an address, time, and a table reservation number for the restaurant listed.

You quickly change as you debate on whether you should go, whoever sent it is probably quite high in ranking to know which unit you stay, and is probably not someone that is against the order, since your living quarters have high security levels, so who sent those flowers?

Fuck it, you think to yourself, you're perfectly capable of protecting yourself, you reassure yourself as you pull on a dress and a brand new coat, you've never dressed up before, it was merely a fibble dream back then, to think you'd be able to live a stable life of riches and be adorned in the finest silks if you're willing to fight for a greater cause, you scoff at the thought of your old perceptions on life, no one would be able to afford such a life through justice, at least not anywhere in the near future, not as long as Jungkook exists.

Before you left your unit, you quickly strap your lightsaber on your thigh, just in case, you thought to yourself.

You summon R9F7 to drive your hover car, just in case you want to drink during or after the meal, depending on if the person you're meeting is someone you deem you should be weary of.

When you get to your destination, you quickly pat down your hair, maybe you should consider getting a hood installed on your hover car, you think to yourself as you tell R9F7 that he's free to walk around if he wants after he dropped you off.

Heading to the restaurant, you immediately walked up to the employee situated at the front of the property, noting that this place must be expensive if there's service right outside the restaurant and you also see two security droids in place.

“Reservations only, miss,” the waiter informs you without looking up from his tablet, seemingly uninterested in servicing you.

You state the reservation number for him and that's when he finally looks up.

“Please, right this way, miss,” he says as he gestures the droids to open the door, the gust of warm air providing a sense of comfort, until you see how fancy it is on the inside, velvet carpeting with intricate designs, customers dressed fancily, crystal chandeliers hanging from high ceilings, and cutlery that look more like fine jewellery in your eyes, but that's when you notice the stares and the whispers amongst the diners, they must've realised you're not a regular.

“That's the Dark Lord's pandawan, I saw her at the welcome ceremony of the Kims’ that day,” you catch someone saying, loud enough for someone with the force to hear.

You seriously hope no one recognises you in your seating area, you think to yourself before you finally come to a stop at a more secluded area, and the person waiting for you was none other than Lady Kim herself.

“It's nice to finally meet you, I'm not sure if you saw me that day during the welcoming ceremony, I'm Sejin, I've been friends with Jungkook for a long time, but my husband, Namjoon, is much closer to him. I thought I'd take this opportunity to get to know you, now that we're back for a visit, my husband is busy with catching up with his old friends, so I thought I'd take this chance to get to know you first, we're both women after all,” Lady Kim says as she stands up to shake your hand, gesturing you to take the seat in front of her.

“It's nice to meet you, Lady Kim, but I'm not sure why you would want to meet me of all people,” you say honestly, you would've understood if you met under formal circumstances, like being introduced by Jungkook as his pandawan, not in such a private situation, not even on base grounds.

“I wanted to meet you, you're Jungkook’s pandawan after all, being Jungkook’s close friend, I think it's normal to want to meet his pandawan,” she replies as she flags down a waiter to pour you a glass of wine identical to hers.

Gears turn in your head as you try to read the woman in front of you, after being under Jungkook, you've learned that people usually have the worst intentions and assumptions towards you, so you've grown to be cautious with strangers.

“I just thought we would've waited until our formal introduction with Lord Jungkook, but I have no qualms about meeting you for this dinner, Lady Kim,” you explained, not wanting to come off as hostile or reluctant to meet her, you don't want to offend her, especially given the fact that she seems almost like family to Jungkook.

“Please, just call me Sejin, Lady Kim makes me sound so old, and thank you so much for meeting me, sorry for not informing earlier, I was worried you wouldn't be willing to meet me if you had known,” she explains, her expression apologetic, but you understand where she's coming from, you don't like people knowing you're Jungkook’s pandawan either, they always have a bad perception of you.

“I wouldn't have minded, Lady Kim,” you quickly reply, still not forgoing the honorific, but she quickly amends you, chastising you in a lighthearted manner to not call her by her title.

“How old are you, darling? You look so young,” she remarks as the first two dishes are being laid on the table, you sure hope she didn't order too much, or anything too exotic, you weren't familiar with what people on the dark side eat until just a few months ago, there's still many things you've never tried.

“I'm 21,” you say before thanking Sejin for putting food on your table, even the ham looks fancier than usual in this restaurant.

“Oh my, you must've been so young when you were taken in by your first master,” Sejin exclaims, chopsticks hanging idly between her fingers when she registers what you said.

“I was trained under a jedi master before Jungkook,” you answer honestly, but albeit, hesitant, your loyalty lies with Jungkook, but you know the whispers of some of his men, how you're unworthy because you used to be under the rebellion.

“Darling, you don't have to be ashamed about your past, in fact, I was trained in a rebellion academy too,” Sejin says, which has your eyes going as wide as saucers.

“It wasn't the main rebellion base, just a small academy started by an old master who takes in orphaned kids who were blessed by the force but too old to be enrolled in the official academy, I was to be killed the day the dark forces found the base, but Namjoon pleaded his master, also Jungkook’s master at the time, to give me a chance to live and prove myself worthy, so that's how I met Namjoon and Jungkook, Jungkook was still so young at the time, time flew by so fast after we left, in a blink of an eye, he now has now his own pandawan,” Sejin says with a sigh, nostalgia heavy in her tone, but she seems happy about the way her life turned out too.

“Why did you and Namjoon leave?” you couldn't help but ask, sitting up straighter, engrossed in Sejin’s life story.

“I wanted a life beyond all this, I felt like growing up, from the moment I was abandoned at war, picked up by my old master and met Namjoon, I felt like all I did was training for something that I didn't feel passion for, Namjoon felt like he was doing it out of obligation as well, especially being the oldest one, he was expected to lead the New Order, but Jungkook took over instead when our old master died, he was always the one that's more passionate about leading the New Order, so Namjoon and I decided to leave, start a life for ourselves, to see the universe. So I understand if you have no desire to follow Jungkook’s footsteps, I've been at such a crossroad too, but I think he didn't receive the news all that well because maybe a part of him still feels like he was abandoned by Namjoon and I,” Sejin explained.

“I'm sorry you had to go through so much at such a young age,” you know how hard it is, having experienced it first hand, but you know she must've had it even harder, Jungkook treats you as an equal despite being his pandawan, but you're sure their old master, being someone of more traditional upbringing, couldn't have treated them as well.

“It's fine, it's been so long, I've moved on quite alright, but I just want to let you know, I'm here to offer you a chance to leave this all behind too, Namjoon and I never had any children, nor do we plan to, since we always move around in fear of being caught or killed, we talked and decided that if you ever want to live with us, we welcome you with open arms,” Sejin offers with sincerity in her eyes, you can see the moisture in them, and you know where she's coming from, she sees herself in your life story too.

“Thank you so much for giving me the chance to leave with you, but I can't leave Jungkook, my loyalties lie with him, he saved my life and I'll always be grateful to him, I can't imagine myself not being under his servitude,” you decline politely, if it wasn't Jungkook you would've taken up on her offer, but you don't have any aspirations other than protecting the one who saved you from your miserable life, even if he demands to have you killed, you wouldn't have any qualms.

“Jungkook saved my life, if he wants me to hand over my life for not following his footsteps, then that's a price I'm willing to pay,” you elaborate further before sighing, you've sealed your fate since the day you accepted his offer, and you always keep your word.

“Darling, he's not going to kill you for not taking over his place, if he wanted to kill you he would've done so long ago, I know I might be prying, but I feel like there's another reason for wanting to stay by his side, do you perhaps hold affection towards Jungkook?” Sejin asks with a knowing smile on her face, not a sliver of judgement, but you feel like you've been gobsmacked by the force in its entirety.

“I wouldn't even dare dream of such a thing, goodness,” you say with a weak chuckle, quickly distracting yourself with your drink, taking a quick sip, you would've downed the whole thing, but that would make you look ridiculous.

Thankfully the food has finally arrived, temporarily diverting both of your attention.

“I won't question you further, there are some things you need figuring out yourself,” she says before she plates some food onto your plate with a knowing smile on her face.

*I ran out of image limit so this is my new page break, sorry guys*

“I saw your pandawan leaving base all dressed up when I was on my way here,” Namjoon brings up midway through dinner at Jungkook’s chambers.

The man across from him immediately stops chewing on his steak, the force around them strumming in suspense, even without the force, they would've felt the hostility in the air even if they can't see the hardened expression on Jungkook’s face.

“Maybe it's just a friend,” Namjoon says offhandedly, and then Jungkook stiffens up, instantly he lets go of his hold on the force, but Namjoon is used to this sort of suffocation, he had to deal with teenage Jungkook after all.

“It doesn't matter,” Jungkook brushes off, resumes cutting his steak, but with a new sense of vigour, the knife scratching the surface of the plate.

“You can't lie to me, Jungkook, need I remind you we grew up together?” Namjoon teases, but he's still concerned, he's never seen his friend invested in something other than his work, “You need to tell her how you feel,” Namjoon advises, though he knows what Jungkook is thinking when he sees the clench of his jaw, and just as Namjoon predicted, Jungkook refutes immediately.

“That's my pandawan we’re talking about,” Jungkook deadpans, staring down at his long time friend.

“I know, just because I'm in my forties, doesn't mean I'm hard of hearing, and just because you're in your 30s, doesn't mean you're an old man, she's only in her 20s, that's not very far apart,” Namjoon explains, because he knows what Jungkook’s mindset is right now, he thinks he's too old for you.

“Don't be ridiculous, she's in her early twenties, she deserves someone her own age, not me,” Jungkook protests with an agitated sigh before he downs the rest of his whisky, the droid immediately refilling his glass, as dutiful as ever, but maybe out of fear too.

“Why are you so against the idea of being with your pandawan? She's an adult, what are you scared of? Definitely not what other people might say. Are you scared you might take advantage of her?” Namjoon retorts to elicit a reaction out of Jungkook, and it's instant.

“I would cut off my own arm before I would even think of doing anything without her permission,” Jungkook says with the force omitting from Jungkook’s body in waves, the droid at the side quietly scoots away from his previous spot closer to Jungkook.

“Then why are you so against the idea of being romantically involved with her?” Namjoon questions with a gentle tone, he's gotten his point across, he doesn't need to press further, Jungkook is in denial, but nowhere near dumb, he just wanted to know why his dear friend is torturing himself by denying his own feelings, but if he won't tell him now, he'll just have to try his best to pry later.

*page break*

The forest stands intimidating as the winds howl and the trees waver under its force, the sound of leaves rustling a familiar tune for Jungkook and Namjoon.

“Can't believe we didn't do this the last time you came back,” Jungkook says as he watches the scenery with a fond nostalgia.

“Didn't know you'd still fancy hunting this much, after so many years of being the Dark Lord,” Namjoon muses with a shake of his head, but he'd ought to know better, Jungkook always had a sense of childlike adventure and a hunger for a challenge, it's why he enjoys what he does.

“Hunting creatures sometimes trains my wits more than hunting people, people are getting more stupid by the day,” Jungkook says before he orders a trooper to open the weapon crate, “Weapon of choice? I'll let you pick since you're my hyung,” Jungkook says before he walks aside to let Namjoon take a look.

Namjoon digs around, uninterested, until he finds a rod shaped weapon, with a click of a button, it unfolds itself into a spear.

“Always have an eye for the unconventional ones,” Jungkook mutters but laments, picking up another spear from the crate.

“That's what makes things fun, Jungkook, gotta keep you on your toes, that's what I'm here for on this boring planet,” Namjoon says before he takes off into the forest, the familiar scent of the trees greeting him like a warm hug.

The sun is nowhere near setting, but in this forest, the rays are blocked by the thick trees overhead. However, Jungkook isn't worried about the darkness, he's trained to see through the force instead of his vision, the force to users as skilled as Jungkook, is like touching the fabric of existence, able to map out every obstacle around him like a physical map.

He hasn't gone hunting ever since the last time he did it with Namjoon, but the forest doesn't feel the same since then, it's too empty. Jungkook hasn't felt a creature other than some bugs for miles, which is an odd occurrence for a forest that he knows is abundant with wildlife.

Something feels terribly off, and he hates that feeling, especially when it's happening on home base.

Instead of trekking for animals, he's now feeling the force for Namjoons's whereabouts, but he must've walked further away from him to have a better chance of higher numbers, he isn't on Jungkook’s radar anymore, and communication doesn’t work in this forest, they did agree to meet back out in an hour's time, but his gut tells him to not dwell.

Suddenly, he feels footsteps, lots of them, then he registers it, a stampede, and it's coming his way.

Creatures he's all too familiar with, even the more ferocious ones, are chasing the tail of some small creatures, but not as predators, because Jungkook can sense the fear in all the creatures in the stampede.

Jungkook immediately summons the force to jump onto a high branch, perched on a higher ground to observe what's happening below, he still can't see nor feel the creature that caused this stampede, but he knows it must be ragesome for it to trigger a stampede in the forest, and he has a sinking feeling that it isn't native.

Then he feels it, a thrumming in the force, a disturbance, but a familiar strum has Jungkook on alert, Namjoon is close, but he's miffed by the fact that both the creature and Namjoons's presence are ascending his way simultaneously.

By now Jungkook doesn't need to use the force to keep track of the creature, the whole forest is shaking from the weight of its heavy footfalls.

Lo and behold, there he sees it, a green 10 feet tall reptile on all fours, huffing and shaking its head, clung onto his neck is no other than Namjoon himself, trying his hardest to hold on for his life while he tries to stab the creature with the spear that acts more like a sharp stick against this monster.

Jungkook has no idea where this creature came from or why his hyung is on its back, but he's damn sure he isn't going to let Namjoon die in the jaws of this monster.

“Joon! Get off its back!” Jungkook shouts from the top of his lungs, getting the attention of his hyung, thankfully, he heard him or felt his intentions through the force, and so he leaps off its back to the side, rolling to safety.

Jungkook descends from his spot from the branch, summoning the force to cease the creature in its tracks by exuding pressure in front of it, acting as a temporary barrier.

The creature’s weight has Jungkook skidding back a few steps, shaking its head, confused as to why there's something in its way despite not seeing any physical obstacle, but then its eyes zero in on Jungkook’s figure a few feet away, and with a mighty roar that showcases its sharp teeth, it decides to pounce on Jungkook, but Jungkook once again stops it with his force before he wields his lightsaber purely with the force, calling it from where he laid it out for safekeeping right outside the forest, thankfully they've moved closer to the forest clearing, Jungkook was planning on ending it once and for all by plunging the weapon into its throat, however, the creature had unfortunately caught sight of Jungkook’s lightsaber, and with a swish of its tail, albeit with a wail of pain from the burn of the saber, the lightsaber is smashed to pieces, distracted by his prized weapon destroyed right in front of his eyes, Jungkook was was nearly bitten by the creature if Namjoon hadn't used the force to pull him out of the way.

“Fuck, did you bring your lightsaber?” Jungkook asks.

“No, I didn't expect we'd come across anything that needed one,” Namjoon says before he advances onto the monster once again, with the spear in hand, he leaps onto the monster’s neck once more, angering it.

“Try to strike its eyes out!” Namjoon suggests, and with a sigh, Jungkook follows suit, trying his best to balance with the aid of the force, Jungkook tries to get the spear into its throat, but the reptile's strong scales wouldn't budge, protecting itself like an armour.

“The spear isn't strong enough to penetrate its scales, if we blind it, we might be able to find its weak spot on its underbelly,” Namjoon informs Jungkook, to which the latter nods, trying his best to weaken its sight, but things prove to be tough since the monster is trying its hardest to shake them off like they're merely pesky flies.

Jungkook hopes they'll get out of this alive.

*page break*

An insistent throbbing in the back of your head rouses you from your nap, immediately you can tell something’s wrong, and that something being Jungkook, you're not sure how it works, but having a force bond with someone is like an invisible string, and the throbbing at the back of your head is similar to a thread being yanked on, beckoning you for help, even if the person in danger didn't specifically asked for you.

You quickly get dressed and grab your hoverboard, you shouldn't be riding it in hallways, but the route from your unit to Jungkook’s unit is quite near, some staff did give you the side eye, but you needed to be quick.

“Droid, where's Lord Jungkook?” you ask the droid standing guard as you skid to a stop in front of Jungkook’s unit.

“Lord Jungkook has went hunting with Lord Kim in the forest, miss, would you like to schedule an appointment to meet with Lord Jungkook after he comes back?” the droid asks, but you have taken off in a haste once you knew of his location.

After zooming through the hallways with many apologies given, you finally reach the entrance of the forest, and gathered around an empty clearing are five storm troopers.

“Lord Jungkook is in danger, I need all of you to follow me into the forest,” you ordered, all of them scrambled to their feet, but the leader, the one with a red graphic print on their shoulder pad remains seated.

“With all due respect, miss, but we were ordered to await Lord Jungkook’s arrival back from the forest, and given Lord Jungkook’s capabilities, I doubt he is in any danger,” they dismissed.

“Are you questioning my authority and capability of wielding the power of the force?!” you question with a flick of your wrist, the trooper is being tossed high up into the air, screaming on top of their lungs before they begin apologising and pleading for your forgiveness.

“Miss, look, there's birds flying out in flocks from that direction,” another trooper informs you, so you quickly let the trooper down and hop on your hoverboard.

“I sent all of you my tracking so you can follow my lead, call backup as well,” you say before taking off into the direction of where the commotion was at.

You've been in the forest many times to train alone, but you've never delved into the thick of it like this before, where the trees are more dense from one another.

You try feeling your way through the forest as well as following Jungkook’s energy force like a beacon, but one thing for sure, there's definitely something that doesn't belong in the forest, you can sense its immense size sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the other creatures.

When you reach a clearing, you see the monster in its entirety, its eyes blazing, mad that Jungkook and Lord Kim are trying their best to deter it in its path by blocking its vision, though, you can tell they're trying their best to injure it.

“Jungkook get out of the way!” you shout from the top of your lungs as you summon your knives, the knives flying through the air with the power of your force, Jungkook dodges right before the knives are impaled into its left eye, roaring at the pain, and also distracted, you used this chance to take it down, your lightsaber alight before you took off, summoning the force to give you a boost to your jump, stabbing the lightsaber into its neck before you let the force of gravity do its thing, slicing its neck all the way down.

You jump back when the blood of the creature starts to spray out in jets, but in doing so, you miss the snap of its jaw, you feel a familiar hand reach out to grab you before the creature could have your life one last time, you were pushed away, a loud curse reaches your ear, you look back to see Jungkook throwing a spear with all his might into the monsters jaw, the creature whimpers at the unexpected pain, before it finally succumbs to its injuries, falling to the side lifelessly.

With a sigh of relief, you quickly turn to Jungkook, but your blood runs cold at the sight, his back has obvious scratch marks from the creature's teeth and his clothes are drenched in his blood.

“Jungkook!” you call with a wretched sob before the man before you sways, you quickly catch him before he falls, his whole weight crashing onto you.

Then you hear the troopers, most of them bought weapons but thankfully one of them thought of bringing a stretcher, better late than never at least, you thought with a sigh.

Lord Kim calls out your name before offering you help in manoeuvring Jungkook onto the stretcher.

“Jungkook’s going to be fine, he's seen worse, let's hurry back to get you checked out as well,” Lord Kim says as he checks you for any obvious injuries.

“Thank you, Lord Kim,” you say with a bow, but he quickly dismisses you and tells you to call him by his name as well, just like his wife.

You can’t help but worry when you watch the many different machines scanning him and tending to his wounds, you can’t help the pangs of aches in your heart when the sight of his old battle scars meets your eyes.

“You’ve been overlooking the droids for a long time now, darling, the next procedure’s going to be more invasive, how about we let the droids work in privacy?” Sejin says, and immediately the droids start undressing Jungkook more, so you quickly agree and make a turn to leave Jungkook’s room in a haste.

“You need to get some rest yourself, darling, you can visit him after the droids are done,” Sejin says, and you agree, you do feel tired after all that’s happened.

*page break*

A groan leaves Jungkook when he rouses, a slight ache settling into his body, nothing out of the ordinary, but what he didn’t expect was the weight that he feels on the area of his wrist, he cracks opens his eyes and he sees you, asleep, bent over with your arms folded as a makeshift pillow, then everything comes rushing over him, the beast, you swooping in to help him and Namjoon fight it off, and him getting hurt because of saving you.

Jungkook sighs to himself at the reminder of that memory, he can’t avoid you any longer, it’s not professional nor it is healthy for the two of you moving forward by putting a strain on your relationship this way, but he can’t help but be pissed that you almost got hurt again, but he knows he and Namjoon would’ve struggled to take down that monster by themselves.

Jungkook sees you stir just as the force bond tingles at the back of his neck.

You jolt awake at the sight of Jungkook awake and staring at you with those intense eyes of his, and so you did the thing you rarely ever do, bolting.

“I’m gonna go inform Lord and Lady Kim,” you mutter in one breath and leave before Jungkook could say anything to you.

Jungkook sighs before he hears a droid coming to him to rattle off his vitals, he begrudgingly leaves the comfort of his bed to wash up, and when he comes out, Namjoon and Sejin are seated on his living room sofa.

“Look who finally decided to wake up,” Namjoon teases before he engulfs his friend into a bone crushing hug, a hand patting his back a little too hard, but Jungkook’s used to it by now.

“How long was I out?” Jungkook asks when his friend finally pulls away.

“About two days, silly girl didn’t leave your side ever since you laid on that bed,” Namjoon informs, and that’s when Jungkook notices it.

His home is usually very neat, he’s what most people call a neat freak, but now there’s things scattered around, a practice stick laying on the ground, a book of his on the coffee table with a bookmark shoved in haphazardly, and some of his photo frames misplaced, and scarily enough, he doesn’t feel an ounce of irritation.

“Poor girl didn’t leave your bedside, worried to death,” Sejin pipes up with a glint in her eyes, she knows the topic about the two of you can’t be avoided at this point.

“You should’ve told her I was going to be fine and to get back to her own life,” Jungkook says with a sigh, thinking about how you were cooped up here for almost 3 days.

“You think we didn’t try telling her that? She didn’t listen, as stubborn as you are, unsurprisingly, but that’s what you saw in her isn’t it?” Namjoon teases and Jungkook turns away to his shelf, seemingly arranging his things, but he’s just looking at what you browsed according to the movement of his things.

“That’s what I saw in her as my pandawan,” Jungkook clarifies but he hears Sejin’s snicker.

Jungkook lifts up a snowglobe of some sort from his collection of random things from his endeavours before he abruptly slams it down when he hears both of his friends now blatantly laughing at him.

“Are the two of you here to inquire about my health or gossip about me in front of my face?” Jungkook questions, turning back to face his friends with a scorned expression, he’s not used to people blatantly going against him this way.

“Oh come on, Jungkook, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to get my lick back for all the years you teased me about Sejin,” Namjoon jokes.

Jungkook curses at his teenage self for not shutting up, with a roll of his eyes, he plops down on the couch with a huff, and suddenly, Jungkook looks so much like his younger self to the couple.

“Cut him some slack, love, I wasn’t your pandawan, so things do seem more complicated, but these are just surface things, Jungkook ah, if you have no bad intentions then what’s stopping you? If anything happens, you’ll regret having not been loved or have loved someone, trust me, Namjoon and I, we’ve been in tight situations before we left all this behind, and in that moment, I had no regrets because I had a fulfilled life loving and being loved by Namjoon, but I understand why you’re hesitant, since you’re all good and up on your feet, we’ll leave you to continue resting up, we’ll come by tomorrow again,” Sejin says, tugging a very confused Namjoon on his feet.

“Let the poor boy figure things out, he’s just woken up and now he’s clouded by all these emotions,” he hears Sejin say under her breath to Namjoon, but Jungkook doesn’t hear what Namjoon says, nor does he bother to correct Sejin that he’s no longer the boy that she used to watch over with Namjoon but in fact a grown man in his 30s.

After his friends’ departure, Jungkook sits in silence in his own unit, ‘are you not coming back to check up on him?’, he wonders with a displeased sigh.

When it gets late to the point where he knows you’re most probably asleep, he gives up waiting on you. Jungkook’s eyes land on a bracelet he’s never seen before when he heads to bed, sitting idly on his nightstand, ‘did his droids find this when they were cleaning his room during his brief coma?’ he wonders to himself, but he doesn’t remember any of his past conquests wearing anything of this sort, but to be fair, he doesn’t remember much about them, if anything arises his suspicions, he’ll just check the cameras in his home, he brushes the bracelet off, he’ll just drop it off lost and found tomorrow, he decides before letting sleep consume him once more.

But not long after he fell asleep, at least according to the clock on his bedside, he hears rustling coming from his living room, he immediately jerks awake at the realisation, summoning the force, the spare lightsaber he owns flying into his outstretched arm before he creeps into his own living room.

His eyes lock in on a familiar figure and now that he’s more awake, he can sense it’s you just by the bond.

“What are you doing here at this hour?” Jungkook questions while he lowers his weapon, letting his guard back down.

You turn around with a surprise gasp from your hunched position over his couch, seemingly searching for something before he caught you like a deer in headlights.

“I realised a bracelet of mine is missing, it was gifted to me by Lady Kim and I’m having breakfast with her tomorrow, so I had to come back to look for it or it’d seem rude to show up without it,” you explain in one frantic breath, standing a little too straight for comfort now.

“You could’ve come to get it earlier,” Jungkook deadpans, arms folded over his chest with a sigh.

“Well. I didn’t want to disturb you, and Lord and Lady Kim were over, so I didn’t want to intrude,” you say, but both of you know that’s not the main reason.

“The droids picked up your bracelet, it’s in my room,” Jungkook says, turning back to the direction of his bedroom, silently beckoning you to follow him, which you do.

Then you see the familiar glint of the beads on his nightstand that you had familiarised yourself with the past few days.

Jungkook takes a seat on his bed before he retrieves the bracelet from his nightstand, beckoning you over with a flick of his wrist, and so you move to stand before him, gently, he grasps your non-dominant hand in his before he slides the bracelet back onto your wrist.

“Take a seat, I’m not here to discipline you,” Jungkook says before patting the spot on the bed next to him.

“We need to have a talk about how you’re constantly putting yourself in danger for me, but in short, stop doing that, don’t risk your life for me,” Jungkook says curtly, keeping things straight to the point.

“Why are you acting like I’m the one who got hurt?” you retorted, but before Jungkook could remind you of what happened, you beat him to it, you have a fast mouth on you, that Jungkook acknowledges.

“I get it, you saved me, but if I wasn’t there, that monster might’ve hurt you or Lord Kim like really badly, just because you’re my master, doesn’t mean you’re invincible,” you reasoned, and Jungkook equally loves and hates this part of you, the way you stand up to him with little to no fear, he doesn’t have many equals in this position other than Namjoon and Sejin, but unfortunately for you, this is what keeps Jungkook on his toes and also the reason his temper fires up.

“I’m not invincible, but you’re not either!” Jungkook retrots, his voice booming in his spacious unit, his eyes ablaze, chest heaving. Jungkook rarely ever raises his voice, if he’s mad at someone for a failed task, he’d merely dispose of them, which is why he’s bad at controlling his emotions around you, he’s never needed to keep himself in check and this doesn’t help the fact that you’re a hot headed person yourself too.

“You don’t get it do you? I don’t want you to risk your life for me!” Jungkook’s so agitated to the point where he’s stood up now, a hand running through his hair.

“We’re all risking our lives for this cause anyway, what’s the difference between me and you?! Why are you ‘allowed’ to get hurt for this cause but I’m not?! Wh-

“Because I can’t stand to see you hurt!”

“What’s the difference between me and all the other millions of people under you?!”

Hearing your outburst, Jungkook walks away with a shake of his head, going to that planet and insisting on wiping out your old master and the rest of his pandawans turned his life over like a snowglobe, and he doesn’t know if it’s for the better when the snowstorm in his head is still raging.

“Don’t make me say it,” Jungkook mutters under his breath, defeated almost, something you’d never thought you’d ever describe Jungkook as.

“Cherishing someone isn’t a sign of weakness, Jungkook,” you lament with a sigh, if this was your bed you would’ve crashed onto it, reasoning with Jungkook is such a mental turmoil.

“It’s wrong if it goes beyond the limit,” Jungkook says, throwing his hands up, very much exasperated, and the sight of you seemingly so calm and collected just pisses him off more.

“What limit, Jungkook?! You’re backing yourself into this non-existent wall for no goddamn reason-

“Because I have feelings for you!” Jungkook bellows, his facial muscles strained to the point where you think he might actually self-combust, then in a flash, you’re being thrown backwards onto Jungkook’s bed, the wind knocked out of you, distantly you can hear Jungkook’s furniture and knick knacks in his room falling over in quick thumps and numerous shatters of glass.

“Fuck,” you hear Jungkook curse before he comes rushing over to you, his worried face coming into view.

“I’m fine, not hurt,” you say before Jungkook helps you sit up from his bed.

“I had no idea having feelings for me is such an agonising experience to the point where you’d have such an explosive reaction,” you mutter bitterly as you sit up from Jungkook’s bed.

“It’s agonising because it’s not right, not because of you,” Jungkook says in a disheartened tone, looking away from you, head hanging low in the glow of his lamp in the corner.

“You’re big bad Dark Lord and you’re scared about what people say behind your back?!” you question with full offence, head whipped to the direction of the pathetic man you’d looked up to for so long, he tenses up at your accusation, and he turns to face you in an instant, his venomous eyes piercing into yours.

“If someone even dares to speak ill of me or you, they’ll regret it in their last dying breath,” Jungkook warns with a slight growl, and to your dismay, it sends a chill down your spine.

“Then what’s your damn issue? Don’t tell me you suddenly have a moral high ground, you kill and torture, but you’re not willing to touch your pandawan?!” you shout in his face before you could register to filter that damn primal part of yourself.

“It’s because I’m so much older you, god damnit!” Jungkook retorts, hands flailing, you’ve never seen him so out of his damn mind, and it kind of feeds into your ego that you can make the most powerful man in the universe crumble this way.

“So what? I’m an adult, now and back when we met,” you say a little calmly for Jungkook’s liking, like he’s pathetic for having all these valid concerns.

“I could be your father at this age of mine,” Jungkook mutters dejectedly.

“Maybe boys my age are of no interest to me, have you thought about that?” you fire back, and Jungkook looks at you like you just said the most scandalised thing he’s ever said, you hate it when he babies you like a child, you have made no reckless decision ever since you came here, your most reckless being hurling a giant rock at Jungkook, not that it matters, it got his attention, and now you have him at your feet.

Suddenly, you feel yourself taken over by a crazy amount of confidence, something must’ve possessed you for you to have the courage to walk over to him, and grasp his face in your hands, the way your dainty fingers envelope his sharp features is a sight you won’t be able to forget, but it’s the way his doe eyes get lost in yours is what made your breath hitch, so you swallow the lump in your throat, the power exchange is borderline addictive, yes, Jungkook is slightly more vulnerable at this moment than you’ve ever seen him, but admitting your feelings to him, your heart on your sleeve for his taking in itself is a form of submission, especially for someone as headstrong as you, and you prove your assumptions true when suddenly his eyes sharpen, piercing into your soul like daggers.

“If you want this, I need to know that you’re mine and I’m yours alone,” he says, his voice tense, as if just the thought of you being with someone else sets off his temper.

“I’m yours for the taking,” you say before you finally seal your lips with his, along with your fate.

*page break*

Celebrations are in full swing after Jungkook led everyone to a victorious conquer of yet another galaxy, but that didn’t come easily, some troopers had sacrificed their lives, many injured, you didn’t get out without a few gashes and many bruises too, but what hurt the most were your ears after being lectured by Jungkook for getting hurt, which is ironic, because he had himself battered up too, you didn’t even bat an eye, just patching him up diligently every single time.

Though now, you hold no grudge against him for that, not when he’s having his big day now, which is why you’re dolled up for the night, well, it’s nothing considered too fancy as compared of the many flamboyant outfits you’ve seen the noblewomen adorn day in and out, but it is however, considered dressing up for you, in a glittery dress that shows off your silhouette.

Eyes trace your figure when you make your way through the hall where the celebratory dinner is held, all the way until Jungkook notices you, then the eyes on you, which were quickly diverted when they catch the scowl on his face, but it was quickly wiped off his face when he greets you.

“You look beautiful tonight,” Jungkook whispers to you when you take your seat next to him, eyes discreetly looking over at what he can see of your dress from this angle.

“You don’t look too bad yourself too,” you say instantly, holding your tongue on how you love it when he tight fitted formal attire like these, unfortunately, still black, but it’s almost impossible to convince the man to wear any other colour, but purple does make an appearance once in a while, he has almost ten purple shirts in his closet, and yes, you went through his closet just to see if everything was black to confirm your suspicions.

“Thank you, darling,” Jungkook drawls with one more greedy glance at your appearance before he goes back to people watching, observing who would most likely walk up to him next to talk now that you’re in his presence, everyone wants to know more about the apple of Jungkook’s eye, no one had expected Jungkook, with the temper he has going on, would ever be patient enough to teach someone, especially someone from enemy lines.

“Lord Jungkook, congratulations on the success of your last excursion, achieving great things alongside your pandawan I can see,” Lord Bautinite says, a didynon who’s older than the both of you combined says, but instead of addressing Jungkook properly, the old man is staring at you with his big bug eyes that Jungkook’s holding back the urge to poke out.

“Lord Jungkook did most of the heavy lifting, Lord Bautitine, but thank you for your confidence in my capabilities, I’m merely doing my best to support Lord Jungkook on the field,” you say, always humble, Jungkook lost count on the many times you watched his back for him and patched him up, he wouldn’t have successfully conquered that galaxy if you weren’t there.

“What a humble pandawan you got yourself, Jungkook, have you thought about who to arrange her marriage to?” Lord Bautitine asks with a hopeful glint in his eye that has your temper flaring up, but no one else would feel but Jungkook, due to the force bond between you and Jungkook that has gotten even stronger because your relationship with Jungkook exceeds the depth of a normal master-pandawan relationship, the two of you could feel every change and flicker of emotion no matter how brief and how far the two of you are physically. Jungkook doesn’t expect you to lash out though, you never do, you’re the opposite of Jungkook, Jungkook lets his anger be known by everyone, but you could be feeling even angrier than Jungkook about a situation but your face would give nothing away.

“My pandawan is a grown adult who’s capable of making her own decisions, I have no desire to arrange a marriage for her, she’s free to choose who she wants to be with or to stay single,” Jungkook answers without a second of hesitation, he knows this question would come up sooner or later.

“I have no desire for marriage in the near future, Lord Bautitine, for now my passion lies in serving The New Order only,” you reply with a smile plastered on your face while your temper continues to flare up the force, Jungkook doesn’t know how you do it.

“It’d be a pity to lose such a useful worker to marriage so soon, though I’m sure she will still dedicate a lot her time in her work, I might not be very lenient on her partner if they ever get in the way of her and her work though,” Jungkook says, an indirect warning that underlies the meaning of fuck off.

“Why yes, I hope you find someone who respects your boundaries one day,” Lord Bautitine says to you before he quickly excuses himself to speak to someone else passing by.

“It’s insane how well you manage to compose your anger,” Jungkook says with an amused shake of his head, he was trying so hard not to kill him, but he knows Lord Bautitine has influence in the local economy here, it’d be messy to kill him off.

“I’m surprised you’re getting better at managing your anger too,” you have to give tens where tens are due.

“If he had laid a hand on you he would be dead by now,” Jungkook says casually before taking a swig of his drink, smiling over the rim of his glass when he sees you laugh and your anger fizzling out, but soon, there’s more people to meet, only excusing yourself when the next course rolls out, you don’t mind socialising with Jungkook, but you would never compromise for food and Jungkook respects that.

Deeper into the night, you excuse yourself and leaving Jungkook to his own devices, Jungkook knows your social battery has a limit and he has no desire to drag you around talking to dickheads anyways, it’s normal for you to retire earlier when there’s events like these, and if anyone dares to question Jungkook about your loyalties and hard work, Jungkook allows his displeasure to be known in the most brutal way possible.

*page break*

When Jungkook finally retires to his own quarters, he breathes a sigh of relief when he takes in the comfort of his abode that once felt empty to him, most days you slept over, you practically live here, and so Jungkook’s home now has bright pops of colours, cute cushions from the market, your cup on the kitchen island, and the many jewellery you have lying around here and there that Jungkook bought many of, he reminds himself that this is what he’s doing for, staying in power means he has the means to keep you safe, Jungkook reminds himself as he quietly peels away his clothes to hop in the shower for a quick rinse before joining you in bed, a cute bundle between his sheets.

However, to his surprise, the cute bundle between his sheets is now laying on his bed, your smooth legs posed enticingly, kicking the air lightly while your bum takes the spotlight, the giant red bow sitting prettily at the dip of your back catching Jungkook’s attention instantly.

“What do we have here? Thought you were fast asleep,” Jungkook questions as he rounds his bed with quick strides, tossing his towel aside when he deems his hair dry enough.

“I was, but I heard you in the shower,” you’ve always been a light sleeper from years of being on the run, Jungkook sighs when he remembers that fact, he’s so glad he had that old man die a painful death for what he put you through.

“Aren’t you tired? You didn’t have to do all this for me, having the pleasure to hold you close is enough of a blessing,” Jungkook says as he slides into bed next to you, his nose immediately goes to the juncture of your neck, inhaling your scent mixed with his shower gel, tickling you in the process, his chest blooming at the sound of your sweet giggle.

“Missed you, you’ve been so busy, you deserve a reward too, for all your hard work in the order,” you say before you lead his face to yours, capturing his lips with yours, your hand tangling into his hair, your breath hitching when you feel Jungkook manoeuvre you atop of his lap, he wants you as close as possible after being apart for so long, it’s been only 4 hours max, but Jungkook is a fiend for your presence.

When Jungkook could tell you were getting lightheaded from the lack of oxygen, he pulled away, his eyes immediately trained on the way your eyes had glossed out, lost in the kiss the two of you shared.

“Gorgeous,” Jungkook praises under his breath as he brushes your hair back from your face, taking the sight of you in, he's the luckiest man in this universe, and it's not because of the empire he has, but because of you.

“You mentioned a reward just now, darling,” Jungkook reminds you, with his thumb holding your chin in place, he knows that such a simple gesture has your panties slicking up, always a menace in riling you up.

“Wanna make you feel good,” you emphasise with a roll of your hips, Jungkook’s length twitching at the action, impatient to be inside of you, “but first, how about dessert?” you ask before lightly pushing Jungkook to lay on his back, an amused huff leaving his lips.

“It's like you read my mind, sweetheart,” Jungkook says as he bunches up your nightgown, surprised but very much happy to find that you had forgone panties tonight, “don't hold back, I want your entire weight on my face,” Jungkook demands, knowing that you have the tendency to hover over his face instead of giving him the full meal.

You sigh at your lover’s insistence, so instead of replying him, you take your seat, successfully shutting up and satisfying him, obvious by the groan he emits once he gets the first taste of you, groaning into your core, the vibrations and his tongue have you gasping for air, quickly holding onto the headboard for your dear life.

Jungkook has always been straight to the point in all aspects of his life, which is why he immediately dives his tongue deep inside, the action messes your balance while you curse from the sudden shocks of pleasure, Jungkook, being the observant lover he is, immediately notices and stables you with a palm on one of your cheeks, taking the chance to grab a handful of you, making you squeak at the pinch of his fingers.

Jungkook smiles against your flesh, and to level up a notch, he then frees his other hand from where it was wrapped around your calf to where your bundle of nerves reside, drawing quick circles, timing them perfectly with the thrust of his tongue that has you gasping his name breathlessly between moans.

Jungkook could sense you were getting closer when you started grinding down to meet his tongue, he could sense the beating of your heart quickening, and lets you do as you please, eyes wide open as he takes in the beautiful, but slightly obstructed sight of you chasing your own pleasure with his face, you being rightfully in your place, Jungkook might as well be the king of this universe, but you are the queen of his world, and a queen deserves the rightful place of a throne, and what better throne than Jungkook himself?

When you finally reach your high, Jungkook rolls your hips for you, helping you ride out your orgasm while stabling you atop of him as you convulse, your knuckles whiten as you let yourself be overtaken by the pleasure coursing through your body, completely undone by Jungkook’s expert hand and mouth, you can feel that he's drinking you in, trying his best to collect your sweet nectar with his tongue, you had to remove yourself on your shaky legs in order for him to give up, chest heaving as your gather your bearings, laying on the bed next to Jungkook.

But soon the man has other plans than letting you rest, Jungkook having an almost wicked smile on his face.

“I can't feel my legs yet, how about I let you use my mouth as an interlude,” you joke, which gets a laugh out of Jungkook.

“It's fine, I can do the heavy lifting first,” Jungkook dismisses before he wraps your legs around his waist, moving you about like a doll before he bends down to place a short and sweet kiss on your lips, the gesture full of love in the midst of your throngs of passion, it never fails to bring a smile on your face when he does this.

Jungkook then leans back to focus on the task on hand, grasping himself, his cock almost painfully hard from enduring through hearing your pleasure, but Jungkook enjoys hearing the way you react to him without any distractions, he's a patient man when it comes to you, well to a certain degree, he thinks to himself as he pumps himself a few times before he finally positions himself at your slit, probing with his cockhead, teasing you, which earns him a few whines and a light thump of your leg on his back before he finally relents, sliding into your heat slowly, his brows furrowed as he focuses on the feeling of being engulfed by your warmth.

You tighten your legs around Jungkook’s waist when you feel the familiar addictive feeling of being filled up, nails digging into Jungkook’s arm.

“Doing so well for me, baby, always so wet for me,” you hear Jungkook say, whispering sweet nothings into your ear until he bottoms out, he hears you panting by his ear as he waits for you to adjust, and in the meantime he takes off your nightgown, letting his eyes wander, basking in on all your naked glory.

“We've been doing this for so many times, and yet you're still so entranced,” you comment as you watch the way his huge eyes trace every little bit of your skin.

“I'd never be bored of the sight of you, especially when you're on top of me,” Jungkook says as his hands join in on the mix, tracing every curve on your body, making you shiver from the featherlight touches.

“Thought I'd look best like this, under your mercy,” you joke, getting a chuckle out of Jungkook.

“You'll see why in a bit,” Jungkook comments before he gives an experimental thrust, your gasp of pleasure a telltale sign that you're ready for more.

Jungkook starts off with a mild pace before he hears you begging for him to go faster, your legs tightening around him as you fully immerse yourself in the pleasure you're receiving, your body tensing up with the overwhelming amount of pleasure running through your veins, especially when Jungkook lowered his head to capture one of your bosoms into his lips, sucking diligently as hips continue their unforgiving pace, never missing his target of the spot that has your head spinning.

“Close,” you gasp out when you feel the coil in your belly threatening to snap.

Jungkook ceases all movements before pulling out of you gently, he then manoeuvres you on top of him, taking your place on the bed.

“You wanted to know why I prefer the sight of you on top, this is why,” Jungkook says before tilting your head up to look at the mirror he had installed on his ceiling, and true to his words, the sight is a bewitching one, the way your body has a healthy glowy sheen from the exertion, and the way Jungkook is looking up at you, eyes trained on your reflection, the most powerful man in the universe, and his pleasure is at your mercy, and at that moment, you feel like you could strike even the most powerful entity down, Luke Skywalker be damned if he wasn't dead.

“Do you see what I see now? My queen, rightfully on her throne,” Jungkook says after he tips your head back down to stare into your eyes, he needs to get the idea in your head, it should be a crime that you had no idea of how powerful and mesmerising you look on top of him.

Instead of replying him with words, you smash your lips against his, pouring all your love out through it, you rarely initiate such an intense kiss, but soon you hand the reins over to Jungkook, even though you love having power over him, submitting to him is what you enjoy most in your love trysts.

A moan slips from your lips to his when he slips back inside you with a quick adjustment of his hand, the familiar fullness more than welcomed, and Jungkook then immediately sets a rigorous pace, thrusting in an upwards motion while his eyes look into yours, attention unfazed despite his hips working hard to tip the scales of your impending high.

Alas, at the end of the day, Jungkook is only a man, which is why he elicits a giggle out of you when you catch his eyes do a quick sweep of the bouncing motions of your breasts.

“You won't be laughing soon, my love,” Jungkook taunts before he lands a quick spank on one of your cheeks, the sweet tinge of pain nearly sending you over the edge, and seeing the damn smirk on Jungkook’s face, you know damn well he felt you clenching on him.

Jungkook then slows down his pace, switching to slower deeper thrusts that have you clawing his back with long thin marks that he would wear proudly for the days to come.

“I want you to cum, darling,” Jungkook breathes into your ear, sending a shudder running down your back, his voice quiet but still commanding, but what comes next is a surprise, something that merely agreed upon but Jungkook hadn't tested the waters until now.

Jungkook wraps a hand round your neck, not squeezing like you expected him to, but then you feel it, the way your throat constricts by the force lightly, cutting part of your airflow.

“Look up, sweetheart,” Jungkook demands, and you heed, staring at your own lust driven body, the light sheen of sweat making you shimmer under the artificial lights.

“Look at you, right where you belong, on your throne, is my cock treating you well, my Queen?” Jungkook taunts before he stops all airflow for a single second, and that's when you lose it, your orgasm hitting you like a ton of bricks, a curse stuck at the back of your throat because of Jungkook, but when he ceases control of your breathing, your mind blanks out from the all encompassing pleasure, your legs shake as you feel yourself cumming as if you can't stop, soiling the sheets as Jungkook whispers sweet nothings into your ear about how good you did, a hand slipped down to your clit to rub slow circles onto it to curb you to clench around him tighter before he spills into you with a groan. Jungkook then lays you down on the clean side of the bed, before he retrieves the box of tissues on his nightstand to clean you and himself up quickly, he doesn't want to make a mess on the way to the bathroom, he wants the droid to change the sheets then get out of his hair as soon as possible.

“Don't pull out yet,” you demand with a weakened grab of Jungkook’s arm to get his attention, just in case he can't hear you from how soft you are, Jungkook has you spent tonight if you're being honest.

“Anything for you, my love,” you hear Jungkook say with a kiss to your temple before you feel yourself succumb to sleep.

When you wake up from your much needed slumber, you let yourself some time to just feel and appreciate the fact that you're being held in the arms of the love of your life before extracting yourself from said arms, which is quite the feat when Jungkook is built with all muscles and almost zero fat percentage.

When you finally succeed in escaping his embrace, you sigh lovingly at how peaceful Jungkook looks in his sleep, none of that constant frown that he sports when he's awake and stressed about whatever task he needs to attend to, you think he even resembles a rabbit when he sleeps, all pouty lips and his nose twitching now and then, he's gonna throw a fit if he hears your thoughts now, he hates it when you call him cute, are you still going to do it? Absolutely, but for now, you're gonna let him rest up more.

You're still fresh from the bath Jungkook must've taken with you when you were asleep, so you quickly wash up and pad into the kitchen to get a warm cup of water for the both of you, settling Jungkook’s cup down on his side of the nightstand before you walk to the large floor to ceiling window of his bedroom that overlooks the beautiful garden within the base compound.

“You're gonna fall sick parading around naked in my home like this,” you hear Jungkook say before you turn your head to catch him just as bare as you before he retrieves a blanket from your reading nook armchair to drape around both of you, but you with the added layer of bulging muscles.

“This is considered warm for me, I've been through worse conditions, don't worry,” you say before Jungkook steals your cup out of your hands for a quick sip before putting it on the nearby bookshelf to wrap his arms around you once more.

“I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner,” Jungkook mutters as he snuggles his face into your neck, breathing you in, he loves it when you smell like his body wash.

“It's fine, I was just making a joke out of it, you know, no need to get all wound up over it for me,” you say as you reach back to brush through his hair gently.

“Still, I'm glad you're here, and that all those conditions didn't stop us from meeting. I love you so much,” Jungkook says while he wraps you round his arms even tighter than you thought possible, screw rabbit, he reminds you of one of those giant bone crushing serpents you dealt with in the past.

“I love you too, my love,” you say through staggered breath from how he's almost crushing you, but you let Jungkook enjoy this moment a little longer as you bask in his warmth embrace because all’s well that ends well to end up with Jungkook.

The End.

[multifandumbmeg]

How many times now have I said "I'm never opening Netflix again"? I love to just not take things too seriously and enjoy what I get when it comes to shows, all too often I've seen fans talk mad shit or abandon ship over perceived slights or minor infractions, but the past couple years I have been utterly gobsmacked by the egregious shit they have done. Incredible shows like Lockwood and Co getting cancelled after one season with zero explanation. Spin-off for Six of Crows being in massive demand, fucking stellar cast, COMPLETELY WRITTEN and then dropped. A multitude of multi-season shows taking a meteoric nosedive in writing quality that has me genuinely wondering, did they switch to AI for this?? Did they hire a wattoad teen from off the street??

Everyone's got their favorite cancelled show, but the recent trend of just absolutely sabotaging your most beloved shows on the way out instead of ending strong to keeping to ANY sort of character arcs or thematic consistency? Agonizingly heinous. If you saw my blog earlier this year you'll know how I felt about the final season of Umbrella Academy, one of the best shows the platform ever put out (viewers know. Not a soul was anything less than heartbroken, and it's rare to see universal opinions online) and today they crippled Outer Banks by writing off the most popular character- and in doing so the ship he was a part of- by killing him. A character once again (TUA reference, once again my fucking favorite ofc) who was abused in childhood, fucked over every moment in life until finally, finally having a chance at peace and then having it nonsensically ripped away for a completely devastating, unecessary, and thematically inappropriate to the show and arc reason. If they're trying to save their platform, they're sure as hell not gonna do it by annihilating every good thing they have.

And on a final note, the particular trend of taking abuse victim characters who have been nonstop shit on by life and then giving them equally tragic, miserable endings no matter what the earlier writers had clearly set up is so fucking disheartening, disrespectful, and dangerous. I can't recall one show they've put out that chose to tackle abuse, especially childhood abuse, that didn't end in a miserable person who was never able to meaningfully connect long term dying horribly. The message that sends to those of us who have actually experienced it- and are statistically prone to harming ourselves as a result- is that there is no hope. You are permanently broken. And sooner or later you will die a miserable death just like every moment you lived- there's no point. Why bother extending your suffering? Just get it over with. Meanwhile those responsible act like the response should be, "Oh yeah, and sad claps, how misfortunate. Just the way it goes I guess. We all love a good tragedy 😘". No. We don't. We are tired of it. We are exhausted. Society and reality fucking sucks right now, we don't need every single bit of media, regardless of tone or themes, to be "gritty" with its most vulnerable and beloved characters.

It's painful, it's personal, and it's not even a good business model! People love these characters BECAUSE we're rooting for them!! We want to see them win after all the suffering!! To remind us in our real lives it is possible, and life is worth it!!

[shadowground]

Hi! 👋 choose violence ask game: 9, 12, 21, 22. Can be tfp or tranformers in general 💞

Hi there my fellow Tumblr dweller! It seems the misery continues, but you've asked and I shall deliver! :3

9. worst part of canon

The worst part of canon in TFP except the fact there were money cuts, and director changes thus the series couldn't reach its full potential? For sure, facts not adding up sometimes. The info contradicting itself or being straight up illogical. Let me give you an example... When a new enemy drops in this series they are introduced like a Doom boss. But later on, while confronting autobots, they just evaporate with no effort from the opponent. Two vehicons at the beggining of TFP - Arcee and Bee couldn't fight them off for the half of the episode. Only when Bulkhead joined they actually retreated. Later on vehicons are dropping dead left and right with the slightest touch (I know there are theories about them pretending but it's still stupid). When the first insecticon appears, Megatron, the champion of Kaon, barely defeats the creature. On Cybertron Arcee cannot take it either, so it needs to be devoured by scraplets. Later tho, they drop like flies when hit by Autobots. Bulkhead can take 3 at once while being barely alive from tox-en exposure, and it is said they are the best insecticons in the grup. It's like the characters saw the new enemy, faced it while being underleveled af, and later they grinded behind the scenes, so now the enemies are just dying with a touch of their mighty finger (excuse my game comparison).

What is also annoying about TFP is the ammount of favouring towards Autobots while preaching that their enemies are very powerful. An example: Megatron is a menace, he is a monster, everyone is scared of him - gets his ass wooped every time. Starscream, the master of strategy, great commander deemed as unpredictable - would trip and die sooner than the enemy would reach him... Like, at least just state that Decepticons are dumb, so somehow their gigantic army with very dangerous general and leader, posessing unlimited energon supplies and a ship that can take them everywhere (that also has Soundwave on board) didn't win with 5 Autobots sitting in a cave, constantly starving, and stranded from their own technology. I know why they did it, it's more exciting for the viewer. But if 5 Autobots can best all of this, why didn't they just win the war earlier? I know we'd not have a show then, but it's still a bit funny when you'd think about it.

Next thing is that characters often forget that they can transform or have any abilities when the show needs them to lose the fight, even if they used said abilities previously when the show wanted them to win...

It's all very well-hidden behind the captivating writing and beautiful visuals, but mate there are problems. Anyway, it's still the best show in my book.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Airachnid - the queen! She's so interesting! I like what they did with her, her character, abilities, the fact that she collects species and just chills on her own in space, her unique transformation with spider parts. I'm surprised there is so little content about her. I myself have a bit of a problem with her, mainly because of my arachnophobia, and her spidering time... I just have a little block to make anything with it, but I love her nonetheless ;v; Her backstory would be something I'd gladly read about.

Breakdown - rarely seen without his hostile red car partner (affectionately) on fanarts. It seems as if fandom treats him like he was just Knockout's love interest, where I feel he has a lot of potential on his own. For example, his story as an ex-wrecker that got totally abandoned by the show alone. Him being much softer in character than other Decepticons and the fact he is one nonetheless. Very interesting to ponder.

Makeshift - the potential this character would have in this show... if only he wasn't taken away from us so early...

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

Decepticons having blue eyes before the war. So many people jumped on the bandwagon of this subjective af Ratchet's story... and then it appears that the creators made it only so the children would understand visually that this was the moment of Megatron choosing violence. It makes no sence in the lore, and doesn't correspond to other characters that have also different eye colors than just red.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

Soundwave. Him choosing not to do anything except when he is directly asked to. Soundwave is like a half-god in TFP. He never fails, can move groundbridges at will, can teleport the whole army to the random moon on Cybertron... Why won't he just teleport Team Prime to the vulcano? Or to some trap to insta-kill them if he can do the same with the whole army of Insecticons and Airachnid? He kinda just looks depressed in his corner and seems like he doesn't give two shits about the war effort sometimes. He would do something when he's asked to, and if not for that, he kinda just idles in the background. Except that one time he brought back the corpse of Megatron from the orbit. And I know you can explain it in many ways but the trial of doing so with certain details is something I've not seen that much of. Mostly people just brush it off with simple "he's just loyal to Megatron" but some scenes could suggest different solutions, and finding more reasons for him doing what he does is very interesting to me.

That concludes it! Thank you so much for the ask fellow Tumblr dweller! I only hope the read won't be too long, but I simply couldn't contain myself ;3

Ask game

[liauditore]

LIAU MY BELOVED

ask game question

Jimmy x Martyn

:D

romeo asking for mirror birds in MY ask box?!!?!??!?!?! (i know u pref mirror birds but solidwood is too funny im so sorry)

ah yeah. these losers.

see, a lot of my thoughts surrounding these two would kind of spoil my own AU that i never make stuff for so im usually somewhat hesitant to talk about them but basically., (toxic!fh mention)

post-evo divorced property police is so real. ive always imagined it as a childhood friends situation, with martyn being a bit older than jimmy.

they probably caught feelings for eachother fairly late and already well into teenhood but neither of them were really sure what it was (this is maybe going a little bit into sexuality hc territory but ive always imagined jimmy as whatever the male equivalent of a useless lesbian is and martyns biphobic towards himself lmao).

i touched on this briefly in that one fic i wrote but i've always headcanoned martyn as being somewhat parentified and thus ties his worthiness to be loved into his ability to perform acts of service for someone rather than just.. existing and letting himself be loved.

so as jimmy became more independent, martyn becomes a bit more insecure about their friendship. this becomes a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy as he distances himself from jimmy, feeling like jimmy wouldn't love him if he didn't Need him, and jimmy in return feels confused and hurt as he helplessly watches someone he knew all his life drift away.

that + jimmy has this not-so-subtle crush on scott that martyn's always suspected. he's a jealous bitch.

The storm formed after a final sip, my fingertips frozen solid, I pretend that again I can see, you past the rails, ready to meet And I wonder is it too much to ask, to once more, hold you warm in my hands? To accept I can’t forget, and embrace what still fails to fade?

Milk Tea (Oktavia's translyrics) (because I wasn't kidding when I said these two were cheesy yuri to me lmao)

we had a clown to clown communication moment i think cus I also love the idea of them splitting up and meeting in Third Life years and years later (altho i like to imagine it as more of a voluntary separation).

some stuff copy+pasted from that cursed shipping doc i mentioned awhile back: ((scott + jimmy became a thing while martyn was gone pre-3L))

Now reuniting in 3L as fully grown adults after years apart, all those suppressed emotions come bubbling back up to the surface. An adult Martyn is much less unsure about what he's feeling and Jimmy still has those fantasies of what could have been playing on loop in his head. Of course, Jimmy is still attached to Scott and can't abandon his Bethrothed. He loves and knows what's best for him, he would sooner die than forsake his loyalty. But it does hurt when he hits him. Martyn still cares for Jimmy deeply, whether he wants to or not. He takes the time to keep an eye out for him, even though they had no real reason to interact anymore. He becomes one of the only people to realise what Scott was like with him, how devoid of love it all was. He throws out a line, offers to help him run away. Jimmy refuses. Betrayal. A second time. For the same man. Who cares about Jimmy anyway? (he always did take me for granted)

(a little note here before anyone sets me on fire - time works a bit differently in my writing and the players don't have exact ages but jimmy and martyn's age gap is probably not as dramatic as their cc counterparts)

(it's still there but neither of them even recognise their feelings as remotely romantic until they reunite as adults, as kids it's all just them being silly and having grade school drama with each other)

So uh yeah lots of mutual pining and suppressed feelings and puppy love turned angst👍 tis all i shall say cus i wanna make art of the rest lol

Just a second to lessen the ache, or minute to kiss it away I’d give all I have for the chance to go back to youth and you

[crimsonwolf715]

Hallucinations

Shiro's thrown into a different cell than normal. When the door shuts, the room is completely quiet and pitch black. Shiro can’t even see his arms, which he knows are right in front of his eyes. He can’t feel the vibration of the ship or hear the hum of the machinery that he could hear just a minute previously. He had just tried to escape from the arena and he had been caught.

This feels like…

“Morning, Champion. Actually, I think it’s the afternoon now. I’ve been doing some research on what the druids figured out about humans through you and the other two that were here. Apparently you have a problem with this room, so staying in here will be your punishment. The sooner you agree not to run away again, the sooner you get out. We’ll know if you’re lying.”

The sound cuts and the room returns to complete silence. Shiro forces himself to keep taking deep, even breaths.

It hasn’t been too long. I can wait them out a bit and then promise that I won’t run away. These aren’t good for long periods of time.

“There’s no lying to them. They always know, Shiro.”

Shiro recognizes the voice and looks around for Keith. He finds him sitting in the corner, holding a knife.

“There’s no getting out of here without giving up.”

“Don’t say that. I refuse to give up on getting home to you.”

“Then you’re not getting out of here until your anxiety makes your heart stop.”

“I won’t die. I’m getting home to you, I swear it. Nothing will stop me.”

“A nice sentiment, I guess. What makes you think I’ll wanna see you though? You abandoned me.”

“I didn’t mean to be gone this long. I wasn’t gonna be gone this long, I swear. We… I just wanted one more mission before I couldn’t do any more. I wanted to fly into space one more time before being stuck on Earth for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to leave you for so long. You’re my brother and I love you.”

“Well, that makes sense. Maybe with that attitude you can make it home. Maybe you can convince me that you still care.”

“I do. I care about you more than anything else.”

“M'kay. You should try to sleep then. Make time move quicker so they’ll believe you’ve learned your lesson.”

“I love you Otouto. I’m getting home.”

“Don’t stress so much and get some rest.”

Shiro closes his eyes.

Keith wakes up feeling hot and his head feels fuzzy.

“Hey, buddy,” Shiro says, sitting down on the edge of Keith’s bed.

“Shiro, you’re here?” Keith asks. “But you’re gone. Trapped in space.”

“I’m here, buddy,” Shiro promises, running his right hand through Keith’s hair. The warmth puts Keith at ease. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Shiro. I’m so glad that you’re back.”

Keith chokes up and Shiro shakes his head.

“Don’t work yourself up. It’s alright. No need to cry, Otouto.”

“I love you so much, Shiro.”

“I love you too. Let’s get some medicine and rest, alright?”

“No, I don’t wanna sleep,” Keith says, sitting up as Shiro goes to get medicine.

Shiro clicks his tongue as he gets the medicine out of the cabinet. “You need rest. Your body heals the best when you’re sleeping.”

“But you just got home and I don’t wanna miss anything.”

Shiro hands Keith the medicine and a glass of water. Keith takes the medicine. Shiro sits back down on the edge of Keith’s bed.

“Why don’t we talk for a bit and then you can sleep?” Shiro offers.

“Okay,” Keith agrees. “Where have you been?”

“Captured, but the details aren’t important.”

“How have you been? I know with your…” Keith trails off.

“I’m okay, just fine. No danger of dropping dead.”

Keith laughs, then coughs. Shiro gets up and starts cleaning.

“You always have been particular about living situations,” Keith says with a smile.

“Yeah, because your room should be in good shape. It makes it easier for you to function.”

Keith’s eyes start to droop and he starts rubbing them to avoid falling asleep.

“Stop it, Keith. You need to rest.”

Shiro walks back over and starts humming as he covers Keith in his fuzzy blanket.

“You promise to be here when I wake up?” Keith asks.

Shiro laughs, like it’s a silly question. “Of course I will be. I promise.”

Keith nods, then lays down. “I love you, Shiro.”

“I love you too, Otouto.”

Keith falls asleep listening to Shiro hum as he finishes picking up all the things Keith had thrown or left on the floor.

Shiro's completely lost track of time. It wasn’t long after day two that he lost track. He fell asleep and when he woke up, had no idea how much time had passed. Every time he shouts that he won’t sneak out again, nobody ever comes to get him. Like they actually know that he’s lying. Time passing has been horrible. Shiro can feel his skin starting to crawl the longer he’s here. After a while, Shiro starts scratching his arm in an attempt to remind himself that he still has feeling in his limbs.

That… this shouldn’t feel nice. This shouldn’t be a relief. I could stay like this for a while though. At least this isn’t as bad as earlier.

“Shiro, please stop.”

I can’t get out of here.

“Not that. Shiro, you need to stop hurting yourself. Please.”

I’m fine, I’m not hurt. Not yet.

“Just keep me company, buddy. I miss you so much.”

Shiro closes his eyes and starts drifting off to sleep, softly humming the song he used to sing when preparing for bed. Before he can fall asleep, the door opens. Light and sound come rushing into the room and Shiro's eyes open immediately. A soldier drags Shiro out of the room and after a minute, he realizes that he smells blood. He’s too out of it to look due to the lack of sleep, but he notices that his arm hurts a lot.

“Look at what he did to his arm. He tried to kill himself,” the soldier says.

What? I didn’t do that.

“Patch him up now,” the soldier continues. “We can’t lose him.”

“I’ll do what I can,” a familiar voice says.

Shiro passes out as the soldier throws him onto one of the medical beds.

Keith wakes up and the house is dark. He looks around and finds the mess that he left in the wake of him getting sick.

But Shiro cleaned…

Keith’s eyes tear up and he picks up the lamp on his nightstand and throws it against the wall.

Shiro wasn’t here. I had a fever and hallucinated him coming home. He’s still gone.

Keith puts his head in his knees and sobs.

Why can’t Shiro come home? I just want my brother to come back to me.

Keith sobs until he physically can’t cry anymore. After that, the sadness turns to rage and Keith finds himself throwing everything he owns around his tiny home. He collapses back onto his bed, feeling completely drained.

He grabs the thermometer and checks his temperature.

Still running a fever, just a low one now. He takes the medicine and resigns himself to sleeping and then going back to searching for what happened to Shiro. Keith starts humming that tune Shiro used to sing that he can’t remember the words to anymore. He falls asleep after a while of staring at the wall and humming. He can almost feel Shiro presence as he finally drifts off.

[pico-digital-studios]

Into, Across and Beyond! Scripting: Home or Hero?

In One More Hero Chapter 1, after OMT!Tails, CR!Sonic and Nine got their transport vehicle sorted out, they began their flight over New Yoke City.

Nine: So, do you have a Sonic back where you came from?

OMT!Tails: Well, I did.

Nine: What happened?

OMT!Tails: Some supernatural monster tried to ravage my home, and Sonic sacrificed his life to destroy it. I know everyone else has been able to move on, but it's been near-impossible for me to maintain the promise I gave him. *sigh* Guess I just suck at moving on, I suppose…

Nine: I'm sure he'd be proud of how far you're coming, Tails. I mean, you can gradually learn the steps needed to take up his mantle and keep those in your land safe. And you've got my support as well, through whatever you endure from here on out.

OMT!Tails: Thanks, Nine. That really means a lot coming from you.

Nine: Anytime!

CR!Sonic: Alright. Next stop-! Hey.

CR!Sonic had noticed a hedgehog figure standing on the ground in one area of New Yoke.

CR!Sonic: Is that-? Oh, boy! Tails, slow down, quick!

OMT!Tails: Huh? What’s up?

CR!Sonic: STOP THE SHIP!

OMT!Tails: Okay, okay! Hang on!

Tails did so, landing it as the three hopped out.

Nine: What’s up, Sonic?

CR!Sonic: If it isn’t bleedy eyes himself! Haven’t seen you since Corrupt and stuff.

The figure, Exenesis, turned back to CR!Sonic in response.

Exenesis: Oh, Sonic. Never thought we’d cross paths again.

Nine stepped in front of Tails to protect him, mainly due to the latter having not yet gotten over seeing an evil Sonic.

Exenesis: Still shaken from whatever ordeal took hold of your dimension, huh?

OMT!Tails: Yeah...

Exenesis: Hey, it's alright, kid. My killing days are long behind me.

CR!Sonic: So, what brought you into this Shatterspace?

Exenesis: I felt there was a lot of unusual activity going on and tried to cross through here, but I guess we crossed paths sooner than I had anticipated.

CR!Sonic: So you experienced those weird portals too, huh?

OMT!Tails: I... think I know what really caused the issue.

Nine: Huh?

OMT!Tails: Back in my dimension, me and the local hero there uncovered an interdimensional energiser in an old and abandoned Death Egg.

Flashbacks are shown to the sequence.

OMT!Tails: I felt an urge to figure it out, though during the fight, the energiser fired up proper, and Detective Ghost was caught in the beam. We both managed to escape, though I've now got the responsibility of the world on my shoulders, since I need to be the one to shut it down.

Back in the present...

CR!Sonic: Oh, NOW you tell me how I got in your dimension proper?

OMT!Tails: I could've explained it to you before you went and ran off ahead of me before.

CR!Sonic: I ain't one for long talks, though, kid. You know who I am, right?

Exenesis: He does have a point, though. Don't you remember? With great power always comes great-.

CR!Sonic angrily pushed Exenesis back.

CR!Sonic: Don't you dare finish that sentence... Just don't do it. I'm sick of it.

Nine: Sonic, cool it! What do you even plan to do?

CR!Sonic: Well, go back there, and when it runs again, I'll just jump in and get back to my life-.

Exenesis: Doing what? Wasting away on chilli dogs whilst lamenting about breaking your Sally's heart?

CR!Sonic: ...How the hell did you know that?

OMT!Tails: Look! We can't let the guy behind it run it! I'm supposed to destroy it so that it never runs again, or everyone's gonna die-!

CR!Sonic: (mockingly) -or everyone's gonna die! (normal) That's what they always say. BUT! There's always a little bit of time before the end of the world, and that's when I do my best work!

OMT!Tails: Before we head back... Aren't you gonna be needing this?

OMT!Tails pulled out the little device Kaede had passed to him before.

CR!Sonic: Ah, you have a goober! Give it.

He tried to take it, though OMT!Tails just flipped his back to Sonic with some cute pouting.

OMT!Tails: Not so fast! Kaede called it an override key.

CR!Sonic: There's always a bypass key, a virus key, a who-cares key I can never remember. Since I don't have my Tails available for this, I just call these things goobers for consistency. Hand it over!

OMT!Tails: I need it to destroy the energiser!

CR!Sonic: I need it to go home!

Tails quickly put it in his mouth, glaring at Sonic.

OMT!Tails (muffled): No! I'll swallow it if I have to. Don't try this on me!

CR!Sonic: What was that?

He walked slightly ahead, knowing he would provoke a response.

OMT!Tails: I said-!

And he quickly swiped the device right out of Tails's mouth.

OMT!Tails: Hey!

CR!Sonic: The energiser created a portal that brought me into your dimension before, so I have to g-. ... Did you break this?

OMT!Tails (sweating): Oh, no... It must've broke in the middle of that crazy chase away from the SIGU.

CR!Sonic: *sigh* This is why I never had kids. This is why I never did that!

Nine: We got my workshop, haven't we? Can't we make another one?

CR!Sonic: No, Nine. We can't do anything! Thanks to the whole thing back at Tails's world, I have to re-steal what his girl stole from that Death Egg and make another one of these.

OMT!Tails: Okay, look, Sonic! If I don't turn off the energiser after you leave, everyone on my South Island, Knuckles, Amy, my little sister, my aunts, my uncle, my big sister-in-law, and millions of others are going to die! And you're just gonna trail right back into a crummy apartment without making meaningful changes and leave ME to figure it out all on my own?! Are you seriously good with that, Sonic?

CR!Sonic: ...yeah? *sigh* I'm gonna take a small walk. Call me when you're ready to cruise off again.

He walked off.

Exenesis: Urgh, come ON, Maurice! This isn't the blue blur I once knew!

CR!Sonic: Yeah, and he ain't comin' back!

Exenesis followed him as OMT!Tails sighed in frustration.

OMT!Tails: How come I'm now stuck with the angsty, older, broke Sonic?!

He punched a nearby girder to vent out his anger, only to look in surprise when the punch actually knocked it out of shape a bit.

OMT!Tails (surprised): Oh. That's new.

Nine: *sigh* Yeah. That Sonic's not been in the best state, even when I first met him last week. I'm sure there's still good in him deep down. It's just that it's currently buried deep under a lot of trauma.

OMT!Tails: Yeah, I get that. When we're on the move again, I'll try to see if we can awaken that in him again.

Nine: Heh, good call.

Nine got to sorting out the engine for multiversal travel while OMT!Tails waited for CR!Sonic to let off his steam.

[lossofallwords]

Okay I know I'm the only one who ships it but, I've decided to make a post about it! Odysseus x Scylla, or what I'm calling "Torchshipping"

I'm just using the Hades 2 looks for this but this extends to just Odysseus and Scylla in general, them as a pair is the Ship.

The ship name comes from EPIC: The Musical if you guys have listened to that.

They're the Same so why not ya know? Why NOT? No one can stop me, and No one can stop you either if you also have felt like this but just never had a place to say it.

I could go on for a long time about why I enjoy this concept, the themes you can explore go pretty deep when you look for them.

I'd like to imagine this comes about if Odysseus doesn't get to make it home ever, however its done is up to whatever you want but I imagine every effort is in vain.

He's alone, tired and angry and very very sad obviously. He drifts in the Ocean for the longest time, before drifting back into the Cave where his raft gets stuck on the rocks. He wakes up, eyes hurting and straining to see in the dark as he fumbles around to light something.. Only for him to see a familiar face staring at him. The sea monster who years ago he sacrificed Six of his men to to make it home. Obviously seeing this triggers him, the flashes of that moment in his head causes him to throw the torch into the water despite the fact they both knew they saw each other. "Hello." The chorus of voices echo off the wall, "I know who you are, even if you look different." Odysseus's beard was out of control, his hair a mess but he still looked the same. Just rougher, sadder, bloodier. He stunk like a corpse, but Scylla didn't mine. She knew that smell well. "You look the same, even if I know that's not all of you there is." He got to his legs, "Why haven't you devoured me yet?" "Why should I?" She moved closer to him, shaking the raft as the body under the water displaced and caused waves. "I said it before. We are the Same. I don't cannibalize my own, though I'm not sure I can say the same for you." Her laugh was always going to be cruel, Seven heads would do that even if most where muffled by the waters they here under. Odysseus however didn't respond, flashes of faces in his mind again. He wasn't in the Underworld any longer but he still heard them. He heard his men in this very cave. Their screams as Scylla tore them apart one by one. "I have to keep going." His mind snapped back from the thoughts as he turned to try and get himself unstuck, using his rusted blade to hack away at the rotting wood. "I need to.."

"You cant." The Monster responded. "You, just like I, are feared by the Sea God." "How do you know this?" He turned his head slightly while he still worked, still determined even after everything. "I heard. Every beast did. His cries moved through the water faster than through the air." She approached more, enough that he could see more of her in the dim light. She was horrifying to look upon. Despite having a woman's face, the eyes where sunken and hollow but glowed white when showing emotion. Her expression didn't change even when speaking unless it was a grin of delight at the bloodshed she revealed in. "If you try, Charybdis will just catch you again. I'm sure she'd be eager to not let you escape her like the last time you encountered her." He was going to ask how she knew that but remembered what she had just said previously. "So what am I meant to do then, to just give up? Give in and abandon my wife and son?!" His anger flared up as he turned the blade around to her. "Id sooner try killing YOU than do such a thing!" He knew she'd end him in a near instant yet he still threatened. She knew it too yet wanted to show him. Suddenly a head appeared behind him and grabbed onto his waist. She lifted him into the air but didn't bite. "I am telling you this, you leave this cave and you are Done for. You'd never see them ever again either way! So Die in vain or stay here!" She raised him more as she brought a bit of herself out of the water to get closer to his face. "At least here you wont starve, nor will you be killed by any other sea creatures." "Why do you even care so much about my safety?! You killed my men!" "YOU Killed your Men Odysseus!" Her voice growling so much it shook his bones. "I just ate the meal you provided me so you could pass!" She suddenly put him down onto a small part of land now. "You would've killed all of us if I hadn't!"

"I would have! And you would've done the same!" Realization hit him at that moment. He knew he was a Monster, he knew he had done these horrible things.. allowed so many things to happen. Yet he didn't notice how true her words had become.

"We are the Same."

[nyastyaraspurrtina]

Okay so basically there's 9 people, they all play a character. They're space pirates living on the starship Aurora. The ship is sentient and is in a sexual and romantic relationship with one of the crew members, Nastya Rasputina. Don't worry about that :). They were all Mechanized by Doctor Carmilla, a lesbian vampire mad scientist who replaced parts of their bodies with mechanisms that made them immortal. (Well, some of them were Mechanized by the crew.) Jonnys mechanism is his heart, Marius his arm, Ashes their lungs, Raphaella her wings (it's heavily implied she mechanized herself) Drumbot Brian his entire body EXCEPT his heart, Nastya her blood (it's mercury!) Tim his eyes, Ivy her brain, and the Toy Soldier is simply a toy soldier that is only pretending to be alive. They have 6 albums total, each one telling a story. Highly recommend listening to High Noon Over Camelot first, it's cowboys in space. It will destroy you emotionally. The band used to be called Doctor Carmilla & the Mechanisms, but the person who played Carmilla, Maki Yamazaki, left early on and they were just called the Mechanisms. Their in-canon explanation is that someone (heavily implied to be Jonny) pushed her out of an airlock. This bring us to my next topic: their deaths. Nastya died a bit sooner than the others. The Aurora essentially got ship of Theseus'd, and she'd had so many repairs Nastya no longer recognized her. This drove her to jump out of the airlock holding the last original piece of Aurora, hoping to die for good this time. This was written in a fiction called Out, linked here. https://themechanisms.com/fiction/out/ here's the summary at the end of it:

Nastya Rasputina was a founding member of the Mechanisms. She played strings and synths with them from 2010-2015 and had a hand in the writing of both Once Upon a Time (in Space) and High Noon Over Camelot. Upon the death of the Aurora she finally abandoned the Mechanisms to their own devices; her current whereabouts are unknown.

The Mechanisms broke up in 2020, and played a final album called Death to the Mechanisms, detailing their deaths. Ivy retired and was killed trying to save some books. Tim was killed in an explosion, Jonny on some backwater asteroid in a bar fight, etc. I'm tired so I'll add more to this later, but here's links to TheVoidSings, a YouTube channel with almost all the songs uploaded with lyrics, and most of the concert footage I know of.

^ this channel has footage of ouatis, udad, and spaceport mahon

it would be amazing if anyone knows but WHATS THE MECHANISMS LORE AND WHERW AND HOW CAN I LISTEN TO IT???? LIKE I NEED TO KNOW. 😭

[andorerso]

since you’re asking for prompts, what about “I told you that I’d never leave you; I’m not going anywhere” from one of the dialogue lists you reblogged? 🧡

If there’s one thing Jyn’s sure of, it’s that she’s not going anywhere. Not like this. Bleeding from a leg wound that left her lightheaded and limping and, worst of all, slow.

If there’s another thing she’s sure of, it’s that Cassian isn’t going to leave her. Stubborn to a fault and unfalteringly loyal, he would sooner die beside her than break a promise. Abandon her to her fate. So that at least one of them might make it out. No, he’d rather doom himself too than survive alone.

Jyn can’t say she doesn’t understand the choice. Yet, she tries to make him see reason.

Surrounded by a swarm of enemies in this tiny room they barricaded themselves in after their mission went south, after Jyn was injured, they both know she’s not going to walk out that door and make the track back to their ship all the way in the mountains. Cassian might, on his own, but she’d only slow him down, distract him.

She’d only get him killed.

And she’d sooner turn this blaster on herself and end it now than get another person she loved killed.

So yes, she tries to make him see reason. Even if he won’t listen.

She lets him take his scarf and wrap it tightly around her leg to try and stop the bleeding, grants him this small action so he might feel like he’s done something useful. They both know that it’s not much. They don’t have anything to actually treat her wound, or at least get her on her feet long enough to reach their ship. No bacta patches, no med-spike, not even karking med nog.

It seems that her luck had run out, and all the near misses and close calls finally caught up to her. Cassian’s just too stubborn to admit that. So Jyn will be the reasonable one this time.

Once he tied the scarf around her leg, he pulls back, looks around once, takes a deep breath. It’s clear he has no idea what their next step should be, and for a split second, before he shuts himself off, he looks so lost and helpless that she wants to cry. But she knows what their next step is.

“Cassian, listen to me,” she begins, reaching for his hand. He’s crouching next to her as she sits on the floor, eyeing the only door in the room, eyeing the windows, the rusty old pipes that run across the opposite wall. Searching for an exit strategy that’s not there. But her words pull his gaze back to her face as she curls her hand around his. He looks like he already knows what she’s going to say, and he’s watching her with a dark, almost angry gaze, daring her to say it. “There’s a chance you can still make it.”

“Not alone,” he responds without hesitation, narrowing his eyes at her.

“Yes, alone. You know I’ll slow you down.”

“So fucking what?” he growls, real anger leaking into his tone. The kind of anger she rarely hears from him. The kind of anger that’s born from fear. “We’re in this together, Jyn. We go together, or not at all. I’m not leaving without my partner.”

“Cassian, look at me!” She gestures to herself, sitting on the dirty floor, her breathing labored, face pale and sweaty. The wound on her leg already bled through the scarf he’d wrapped around her, staining the fabric red. “I’m not going anywhere like this.”

“Okay. Then I’m staying too.”

“So that we can die together?” Jyn snaps in derision.

“Yes. Just like we were meant to on Scarif.”

That shuts her up quick enough, wiping the scoff from her lips. Scarif. Getting the plans, honoring her father’s memory, holding Cassian close on that beach after trying, at least, to make a difference… It would have been a kinder death than she thought she’d get. Peaceful, even. And she felt content, then, to have someone with her, someone she trusted, someone who was just beginning to feel like home. She didn’t mind the end if Cassian was with her.

But this isn’t like that. There’s no sand under her feet, no waves crashing against the bank in her ear. There’s no grander purpose or blaze of glory. She’d either bleed out on this dirty floor, or be shot dead once the troopers broke through that door, and there's nothing peaceful about that. She doesn’t want Cassian with her for that.

“I told you I’d never leave you,” Cassian continues when she has no response for him. The anger in his voice burned out, but the quiet desperation is worse. Jyn would do anything to make him leave, and she’d never recover if he did.

He promised her. He promised he’d never leave, not in a way that matters. Not by choice. If he could, he’d stay, and if he had to go, he’d always try to come back. It was the only thing a spy like him could offer her in a galaxy at war, but for someone who’d spent most of her life being abandoned by the people she loved the most, it mattered more than she knew how to say. She trusted his words, trusted his sincerity, trusted that he’d be there when she needed something solid to lean on.

Asking him to break that promise now isn’t an easy task for her either.

Tears spring to her eyes, her voice wavering when she speaks. “This time, I’m asking you to.”

Cassian shakes his head, gives her a strained smile. “You know I’d do anything for you, Jyn. Anything but this. It’s the one thing you can’t ask of me.” With his free hand, he tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, grazes her cheek with his thumb. Jyn lets her eyes close, lets herself lean into his touch for a moment. Just for a moment. She doesn’t want to let go yet. “I’m not going anywhere. Not without you.”

He leans down to press his forehead against her, and Jyn cradles his face just to feel something solid under her palm. Something to ground her.

“Then what do you propose we do?” she whispers, too exhausted to keep arguing with him. Not when there’s a small selfish part of her that’s glad she doesn’t have to watch him walk away from her.

“We’ll try. We’ll take our chance. And we’ll keep taking our chances until —”

“Until the chances are spent,” she finishes for him, those old familiar words pulling a wistful smile from her lips. “You think we can do this?”

“We beat worse odds.”

Like carrying Cassian’s half-dead body to the rescue ship that showed up at the last moment while Scarif crumbled to dust around them… She’d held on tightly, unwilling to let go even as he stumbled on his own feet and nearly dragged her down. If he fell, she’d fall with him, go down together. It was more acceptable than surviving alone. Yet somehow, by some miracle, they made it. Lived long enough to reach Yavin IV and keep fighting.

The hope he gave her swells in her chest and she finally allows herself to believe in it.

We go together. Or not at all.

[sovonight]

undone, part 3 (end) | atton/exile, sith exile au, kotor 2

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

✧ — ✧

"Whinu claims he had nothing to do with it," Cela says, as soon as the door closes behind her. She moves to pull her cloak off her shoulders, before remembering that her cloak is gone, and abandoning the movement. Jaq is at her desk, leaning against the edge of it, leaving the chair free for Cela to take with a tired sigh.

"And you believe him?" Jaq asks.

Jaq's tone is neutral, leaving the judgement solely to her. Whinu had been insulted by her accusation, and had insulted her in turn, saying outright that Cela had plenty of other enemies at the academy to accuse instead. Beneath her anger, Cela had felt in that moment that she'd burnt her last, tenuous bridge at the academy, but she'd had to persist. The access codes, the timeline, the motivation, everything pointed to him. And yet….

"I don't know," Cela says. "I'm no longer sure of my judgement of him. But… Jaq, you've been on many interrogation assignments, haven't you?"

A strange look passes through Jaq's eyes, before he forces a casual laugh.

"Yeah, but breaking a Sith's different from breaking a Jedi," Jaq says, "And I'm out of practice, anyway. I'm just a pilot, now, remember? You need any ships flown, I'm your guy."

"Of course," Cela says, not so taken by the mystery of her assassination attempt that his somber air passes her by. She nods to his jacket. "A pilot who carries a small arsenal with him wherever he goes."

"Hey, old habits die hard," Jaq says, with an easy shrug, and Cela is glad to hear his tone is light once more.

Perhaps she can set this mystery aside. She had feared that Whinu or another Master would take advantage of her absence to claim her title, but nothing had happened. And for all that she's been through in these last few days, she's emerged better for it: the academy is still against her, but she's now assured that Jaq stands by her side.

"Jaq," Cela begins slowly, casting her gaze down to her cold hands, "Do you remember the last shipment you collected for me?"

Cela has never asked for Jaq's help in rounding up hopefuls. At some point, he had just begun doing it, offering them to her of his own volition. Cela had interpreted his help as some jab at her own weakness, but beneath her doubts towards him, she had long grown grateful for his silent devotion.

"I find myself in need of another," Cela says. "The sooner, the better."

Instead of the immediate yes she'd expected, Jaq frowns to himself, shaking his head.

"I can't. Nothing's coming in right now," Jaq says. "Word is, recruitment efforts are waning now that most Jedi are dead or dying. The academy's still getting students, but they're coming direct from the torture chambers."

"And the academy would be expecting them," Cela finishes for him, and Jaq only nods.

Cela falls silent, unable to suppress the cold in her chest. She had always known Korriban's supply would run dry, but had never thought it would happen so soon—not when she truly needs it. With the state she's in, the most she could do is mind-trick a gizka. She can feel the Force around her more acutely than ever, flowing throughout the academy, winding through its inhabitants; it drifts so near, and yet denies her grasp, taunting her.

"There are other ways to let off steam, you know," Jaq says.

"I'm not stressed," Cela says, her tone harsher than she intends it to be, and Jaq just gives her a raise of his brow, as if to say, And you were saying?

"I'm not!" Cela insists. "I'm—I'm just—"

There's just Korriban, bland and bleak and threatening, all around her again. There's just the academy, so full of plotting minds and jealousy and vehemence. There's just the vacuum in her chest, chilling her to the bone, threatening to eat her alive.

And there's Jaq, who's watching her now, who's closer to her now than she has ever let him be before, and yet—for all that she wishes he would reach out and help her—can do nothing.

"I'm just… not used to feeling the weight of the academy again," Cela finishes, hollow. "It is a temporary thing."

It's a familiar wall that she reaches for—so familiar that Jaq's body language closes off in response, taking her words as a push away.

"Right," Jaq says, subdued. "Well, I just remembered some repairs I have to do anyway, so—"

"Wait!" Cela says, and it's only when Jaq looks to her with a mixture of puzzlement and astonishment that she realizes that she's snagged the edge of his sleeve as he turned to leave.

"Yeah?" Jaq says, his tone edged with hope. "What is it?"

"Perhaps a moment at the cantina would help us both," Cela says, "If you're willing to join me?"

—

The cantina is a bright light in Korriban's dusk, filled to the brim with the liveliness of the evening crowd. Cela's gaze passes across the room, recognizing the mechanics from the hangar; workers and archaeologists from the dig; and guards from the academy. The only person she doesn't recognize is the woman behind the bar, who stares at her in open shock before spinning quickly away to wipe down more glasses. Jaq leads her towards the booths lining the back wall, where the din of the cantina is quieter, sinking into the backdrop.

Cela stirs her drink idly, the ice within it long melted so that it no longer makes a sound. She doesn't remember what Jaq had gotten her—it doesn't sharpen the mind the way Jaq claims juma does, at least, she needs her wits about her—and it doesn't matter, as such trivialities are far from her mind right now. The soft light around the booth melts against Jaq's features, leaving a touch of gold upon him that softens his sharp smirks and scowls as he talks over the day's work at the hangar. His grey eyes shine amber, like setting suns through the haze of dusk, and a sigh escapes her as Jaq continues on, oblivious.

"So I looked into it," Jaq says, "And yeah, if it's going to take that long to go through official channels, we should keep the junk ship for now."

"And our rogue repair droid?" Cela asks, resting her cheek on her hand, only to be startled by a cold sensation as she nearly sticks the stirring spoon to her. Thankfully, Jaq doesn't notice, and Cela quickly sets the spoon on the table, a safe distance away. Surely she's stirred enough.

"I didn't catch its serial number, so I sent them all in for inspection," Jaq says. "Mechanics weren't happy with that, but we're past the busiest part of the month, anyway. It does mean I'll be working on the junk ship myself for the time being, but it's worth the trouble. With the way cargo ships only stop in periodically to deliver supplies, we could be left trapped here if any brave Jedi decide to ambush u…"

His gaze drifts over to hers, and he interrupts his words with a smirk.

"Oh, so it's the idea of us all dying gets you smiling, and not a single one of my jokes?" Jaq says. The smile on her lips surprises her, disappearing as soon as she notices it—but Jaq doesn't tease her further; his gaze only softens.

"No, it's just…" Cela hesitates, wondering if she might be saying too much, but that ease and lightness in her shoulders guides her to continue, "We're on Korriban, and yet it feels like we're together for one of our old missions. As though we could step out of here and be... anywhere."

"Yeah, I miss it too," Jaq says, and she notices then just how wistful she had sounded, for him to respond in the same way.

"Why don't you go back?" Cela asks; she's long been curious. "The work here is tedious and unchallenging; I see how this place stifles you. They would take you back, easily."

Jaq only shrugs, glancing down at the table.

"It just isn't the same without you," Jaq says. "I don't want to work with anyone else."

I came here for you, he'd said. A sentiment that would've sunk sweetly into her heart if it weren't for everything keeping her here. If he had hoped to convince her to return with him, he'd sought her out in vain.

"Don't think of me," Cela says, quietly. "I am glad for your company, but Korriban has a way of wearing its inhabitants down to shadows of themselves. I would not want to see that happen to you, when you could thrive somewhere else."

"Funny," Jaq says, "You took the words right out of my mouth."

Cela looks at him, and realizes what he's saying.

"Jaq—I can't leave," Cela says, stunned, and Jaq shrugs.

"Why not?"

"I'm the headmaster."

A couple heads turn from the tables beside them. Cela hushes herself a moment too late, but Jaq replies, unfazed.

"Last I checked, you have twelve replacements who'd happily kill to take your place," Jaq says. "Besides, once you leave, it's not your problem anymore."

She has long dreamed of throwing up her hands and telling the Masters to sort the academy's troubles out amongst themselves, rather than turn on her—but….

"I still have a duty to Revan," Cela says, quietly. "It's her wish that I remain here."

"Yeah, but Revan's not watching this place anymore, is she?" Jaq says, meeting her eye. "If she doesn't care about it, you shouldn't either."

It could all just... go away. Without explanation, without logic, she and Jaq could escape into the night, and leave the Masters to fight amongst themselves over the empty title she'd left behind come morning. No one would notify Revan of the change in command—and with Revan's frequent turning wheel of projects, it could be a year or more before her personal attention returned here.

"You could go anywhere," Jaq says. "An army's not the only place that could use a Dark Jedi like you."

"A rogue Jedi who had abandoned both sides would soon be found and dragged back," Cela points out. "If I am to walk free, I would never be able to use the Force again."

"Not necessarily," Jaq says, "You're a healer. People would be willing to cover for you."

In that one word, this hypothetical escape crashes back down to the earth. A bitter smile takes her lips, holding back more complicated emotions that she hasn't touched in years.

"I'm no healer," Cela says. "It was a pleasant thought exercise, Jaq, but my place is here."

"But why not? You heal me all the time," Jaq says. "Just do that for other people."

"It doesn't work like that. You're—different. A special case," Cela says, and Jaq chuckles, giving her an amused look.

"Alright, I know an excuse when I hear one," Jaq says. "I've never been a special case in a good way in my life. What's the real reason?"

"I'm serious!" Cela insists.

"Sounds like a Jedi lie to me," Jaq says, though his tone is teasing—and Cela's face warms, both out of indignance and what she's about to say.

"Force healing isn't like kolto," Cela says. "I can't use it whenever and however I want. I need to feel a certain kind of genuine emotion towards the receiver—emotion that I can no longer muster towards most people."

Cela watches for Jaq's response, and wonders if her burning face and beating heart might reveal to him the full implications of what she's just confessed, but Jaq's lips quirk to the side in confusion.

"What does that mean?" Jaq says. "Cela, can't you just drop the cryptic Jedi talk and tell me?"

She lets go of her breath in a frustrated sigh.

"No," Cela says adamantly, and turns away from him, taking a long drink from her glass. In their silence, the din of cantina roars back into her awareness, bringing her pieces of conversation that float past:

"—so I say to him, look, you find me another pair of power converters, and I'll—"

"—can't stand these Hssiss, we're running out of antidote packs—"

"—still making preparations, the Dark energy readings are overwhelming—"

A pair of archaeologists walk past their table, leaving Cela with that last shred of their conversation as they leave. Beside her, Jaq plays with the empty shot glass in his hand, muttering, "Something she feels towards me but no one else…."

"Jaq," Cela interrupts, too pulled by urgency to wonder what guesses are going through his head, "Those archaeologists. Do you know what site they're talking about?"

Jaq blinks, brought out of his subdued and thoughtful state.

"Oh—yeah, I've heard about it," Jaq says. "It's another tomb they've been digging out for weeks now. It's got some kind of strong stench around it. I say it's just the dead guy inside, but they say it's Dark energy, and they're making all these preparations and requests for it. I bet the forms are going to cross your datapad soon, if they haven't already."

Cela is on her feet before she fully registers her movement, and only glances back at Jaq when he calls her name, puzzled.

"It's getting late," Cela says, by way of explanation. "I'm returning to my quarters."

She doesn't address her abrupt action, or the way that this is hours before she would usually turn in; and thankfully, Jaq points neither out.

"Alright," Jaq says, "But you're not going to stay up all night working again, are you? Because you know those forms can wait."

There's that concern in his eyes again; now that Cela knows his sincerity, it's hard to push it away. Jaq is always looking out for her; he wouldn't want her to head into the tomb alone. Perhaps… she could tell him—

But as Cela looks at the lively flush in his cheeks, and the bright gold in his eyes, her uncertain words die in her throat. The Force is dangerous in her hands. She's only just opened her heart to him again; she fears what would happen if he walked in.

"I'm not," Cela lies. "Good night, Jaq. Take your time without me."

—

When Jaq leaves the cantina at last, the sky is long dark, and only a couple stragglers remain inside, their silhouettes hazy in the dimly lit windows. He hadn't meant to stay so long, but something about a lively room leaves just enough space for his thoughts, and he'd had many to sort through.

His hand has gone absentmindedly to his temple, touching the very spot Cela had healed just days earlier. Jaq pulls his hand back to his side, curling his fingers closed. He has all the pieces to understand what she'd said. Healing is an ability of the Light side—she'd told him this—and he's seen the Light. It had left him shivering, drowned in the vastness of it, haunted by the way the world looked through the eyes of the other side. But… he had felt none of that at Cela's hands. What she'd shown him was anything but grand and unknowable, it was... familiar. It was as if she'd known he was afraid to see the Force again, and had eased it for him.

Gratitude curls up in his chest, but guilt is there to meet it. She hadn't known. And it's precisely because he's kept all these secrets that Cela—Cela, who faces all challenges with a cold determination and set shoulders—had broken down and cried in front of that wreck of a ship, not from the pressures of Korriban, but from a fear of him. A chill grips his heart at the memory; he never wants to see that look on her face again. He had always thought that she walked beside him knowing the way in which she marked his limits. Anyone, but her. No one, but her.

But that small, troublesome voice in the back of his head pipes up: he has never wanted to let Cela to know just how far he'd go for her. He's had his moments of self-justification—it's more noble, isn't it, to serve her quietly from the shadows—but he's long known that his reluctance is due to pure cowardice, tied up in that itchy sense of self-preservation that's kept him alive all these years. Even that glimpse he had shown her of his uncovered heart had taken all his willpower to hold open. And Cela… and Cela….

Cela had given it back to him. His affection, still wrapped within his fear and his guilt. The Light, tamed to fit into the palm of her hand. He's back at the start: an emotion that she feels for him, but no one else. He's close, but he's afraid. Because if he wants it, then all these tricks and shadows and lies he's built up around himself have to go, to leave room for her.

"Easier said than done," Jaq says to himself, then pauses, looking up. "Wait, where the hell am I?"

He'd been heading towards the hangar, but a glance around shows him that he's wandered onto a dig site, his boots upon the gradient of a shadow cast by an entrance dug into the cliff face, within which lies a path that only seems to slope down. Jaq looks cautiously in, reaching a hand out to the side of the entrance to support his lean in, but the moment he makes contact, an overwhelming wave of emotion hits him: urgency, wrongness, danger.

"Cela," Jaq says, because his responding pull of protectiveness would emerge for no one but her, "You didn't go back to your quarters, did you?"

Sparing only a second for a steadying breath, he heads in after her.

—

Jaq knows he's entered the tomb proper when the dug-out soil of the cave fades into tiles of dusty ceramic, which run alongside carved reliefs that line the wall and stretch into the shadows ahead. It takes a moment for Jaq's eyes to make out the entrance to an interior chamber ahead; the workers had installed lights in the cave, running wires down from the surface, but none hang here. He runs a hand along the wall, following the lines of ceramic down the path, and that feeling of foreboding crawls up his fingers once more.

There's just enough light to guide him into the chamber—into the empty chamber. For a brief moment, Jaq's heart drops, but he's heard stories about these tombs: about the ones that torture their trespassers, and the ones that don't want to be entered. Surely this is one of the latter; and surely Cela had left her touch here, had marked the way ahead, even though she had been foolish enough to go on her own.

A thought bothers him, nudging at the back of his mind—what is she looking for in a place like this?—but Jaq waves it away. He needs all his focus to make out the reliefs on the walls in this terrible, dim light, and that foreboding is still—

That foreboding is still guiding him. His eye catches on some text on the wall, probably some sort of ancient Sith riddle, but he doesn't need to play their games when he has her. Jaq places his hand on the wall once more, closes his eyes as he's seen Cela do for her use of the Force so many times, and holds still as that danger, alarm, fear crashes over him, sending spikes up beneath his skin. She's so close, he can almost feel it—

—And a low, grinding sound comes into his awareness. Jaq opens his eyes to see a carving in the wall, a piece of which has been depressed by a push of his fingertip—a hidden switch. With a step back, it's released, and the wall that had pretended to be a dead end before begins to pull away from the ceiling, sinking into the floor. Jaq grins to himself in relief, but relief soon becomes confusion as the light in the room begins to fade, cut by a rising line of shadow cast along the falling wall. He turns back in time to see the last gap of light between the chamber and the hall outside disappear into the ceiling, as a second wall slides into place.

Of course: a trade. With these people, there's no give without take. Jaq shakes the residual shiver off his shoulders. Whatever—he doesn't need that door open anyway, not until he finds Cela. But... that feeling he's been following is gone.

Thoughtlessly, Jaq clutches at his heart, as though emotion were a physical item that could be lost then found, but it's vanished. That can't be right. Jaq doesn't know much about the Force, but he doesn't think it works like this. He can't run out of awareness. That'd just be stupid.

A nervousness tugs at his lips, a reassuring smile that has no one to see it, alone and sunken into darkness as he is. Cela's here… right? Unless he'd just imagined it. Unless he'd just been tricked. It wouldn't be the first time, but it hurts more now, now that he's walked into it. Something gives in Jaq’s chest, and when he sways slightly, finding a wall behind him when he takes a step back to steady himself, he just lets himself slump against it. What is he doing? Assuming that Cela's here, based on one bad feeling? Assuming that Cela needs him, when he'd been left behind?

Take a hint, Jaq. Cela knew what she was doing when she left him for Korriban. She'd seen enough in their time together to see through him, to all the ways in which he's weak. And she'd been right: when he'd seen that Light without her there to make sense of it—without her there to prevent him from ever seeing it at all—he'd ran, afraid, in the direction of the closest safety he knows. He'd told her he was here for her, but the truth is in a twist of the words.

A ragged breath escapes his lips, and horrified, he clamps a hand over it, silencing himself. This tomb is mired in Dark energy, whatever that is, but like the others scattered in the valley, it could hold all manner of creature inside, from a common mynock to a wandering Hssiss. Jaq doesn't have any antidote packs on him; for all the supposed precautions that line his jacket, he'd rushed in after all.

Then he hears a shuffle of fabric against the floor... a step of a boot. When a light shines through the darkness, in the familiar vivid red of a Sith lightsaber, all Jaq can feel is relief.

"Cela," Jaq says, quickly wiping the dampness from his eyes, "You're alright."

"Yes, but are you?" Cela asks. The light rises to illuminate half of her face—oh, how he's missed that half of her face—and she extends a hand to him, helping him up. "You look shaken."

"You know me. I'm fine," Jaq says, though the quick grin on his face has never felt more like a lie. "What are you doing here? I felt—I mean, I thought, that you were in danger."

"Ever vigilant," Cela comments, with a small, fond smile that lifts his previously leaden heart. "There is no more danger here than there is in one's mind. This is a proving grounds, of sorts. I came here to conquer my doubts."

Cela holds her lightsaber aloft before them, revealing their surroundings in its red glow. Rather than a wider version of that chamber he'd stood in, what lies before them is some kind of underground arena, with stands that stretch out to either side, circling a pit in the center. Jaq steps forward for a better look, doubting his eyes; he's sure he would've seen hints of a structure this grand before that wall sealed the way behind him. But all thought escapes him when Cela places her hand on his shoulder and draws in close, the fabric of her robes moving in a whisper against his back.

"I'm glad you're here," Cela confesses. "I was waiting for you to follow me."

"Well—you could say something next time," Jaq says, turning to her, but Cela rests her head against his other shoulder, and her hand moves into a loose embrace across his chest, holding him; he stills against her softness.

"Do you truly not know what I was trying to tell you?" Cela asks, softly. "In the cantina."

Her breath ghosts past the shell of his ear, a kiss of warmth against the cold; he holds back a shiver.

"I think I do," Jaq admits.

"Then what will you tell me in return?" Cela asks. "A confession for a confession."

But an unease crawls up his neck, and he has the distinct sense that they should get out of here.

"Look, Cela, I feel the same way," Jaq says, "And I'll say it, properly, as many times as you want, but—can we leave this place? It's giving me the creeps."

He still has too much to tell her, too much that might change her mind, and he'd rather not rush it here and now, not inside this tomb. But Cela laughs, low and drawn out, tipping her forehead against his shoulder. Jaq wonders if the bartender had gotten her drink wrong, if Cela weren't drunk after all, but when he turns to face her, her eyes are dark and unreadable in the lightsaber light, and hold no amusement anymore.

"Not that confession," Cela says. "The other that you owe me."

"What are you talking about?" Jaq is aware of now of another, building nervousness under his skin, layered upon the unease; different from what he'd followed for Cela, it's a portent for himself. "You know, relationships are built on—"

"Relationships are built on respect," Cela interrupts him, and takes a step forward; with her lightsaber drawn before her, all he can do is step back, startled, dropping down a stone step. "A respect you refuse to show me when you continue to hide the truth from me."

"Uh—Cela, I—" Another step, and another, steadily pushing him away from the entrance. "I'm lost. Help me out here. What—what truth are you talking about? Because I—"

"This is about the Jedi," Cela says, low and serious. "I know all about your last interrogation assignment. I know how you almost left."

Speechless, his veins run cold, and he stumbles down the last step, backing away until the arch of his boot rocks over the edge that separates the stands from the pit below. For a split second, his balance is gone, until Cela reaches out and grabs a fistful of his collar.

"You ran to me like a coward," Cela says, coldly. "You think I can't see the way you cling to me? How you hope to use me? Not just as a distraction from the spark of the Force that lies in your heart, but as something more?"

"That's not true," Jaq says, desperate even to his own ears, but Cela only holds him further out from the edge.

"Be honest with yourself, Jaq, in a way you have never been with me," Cela says. "What else did you seek of me?"

"I…" His voice fails him, breaking upon his words, "I wanted it to be you. If anyone was going to train me... I wanted it to be you."

"Finally," Cela says, with a cold satisfaction, but Jaq can't stop looking for the warmth in her eyes.

"But I didn't come here to use you," Jaq says, his words as rushed as a plea, "I came here because I couldn't leave you behind. They're destroying you here, you know that—"

"And a coward that can't even bear the Force can save me?" Cela asks.

"I can bear it now," Jaq says. "I can bear it, if it's you."

"Then prove it," Cela says, and in an uncurling of her fingers, lets him go.

Weightlessness is followed by impact far too soon, and he groans in pain, finding himself upon the dusty floor of the pit. Cela's figure swims in his hazy vision as she looks down at him from above, and he watches as she deactivates her lightsaber and tosses it over the edge after him; it strikes the dirt next to his hip.

"Pick it up," she commands. "Stand and face your opponent."

"You're crazy," Jaq says, pushing himself off the ground with a wince. "I don't care what's going through your head—I'm not going to fight you."

But Cela ignores his words, folding her hands behind her back, and looking out into the area behind him. Jaq realizes that there's more than one red glow illuminating the place—and there has been, for some time.

"You must take his place," Cela says. "There is only the Dark side, or death."

Jaq feels like a mind trapped as his body moves for him, turning to face the figure behind him. Twin lightsabers rise to reveal their wielder: his own corpse, staring back at him.

—

Revan's reinforcements are late, and with their forces struggling, the Mandalorians may yet turn the tide of battle. Cela knows she must give the order—and Jaq, beside her, gives her a solemn nod, prepared for the sacrifice—but she isn't. Somehow, Jaq wears the robes of a Jedi; somehow, his heart beats next to hers; and she would trade the galaxy to spare herself from feeling not only her wound created anew, but the agony of the Mass Shadow Generator tearing through him, tearing through her.

"I can't," Cela says, betraying the Light for her attachment to him, betraying the Dark for her unwillingness to complete the test. "I can't do it."

"And the sacrifices you've made to stand here?" Jaq says. "Your kyber, your family, your Order. What are they worth if you don't commit to your path?"

"It's not the same," Cela says. "I haven't lost you yet."

"You will," Jaq says, his eyes cold and unkind, "When I see you for what you are. When that time comes, do you want to face me with the Force, or without it?"

"You..." Care about me, she wants to say, but the words catch in her throat, "You'll understand."

Jaq sneers, cruel.

"And I joined Revan for my generous sense of understanding, did I? You're a Jedi, Cela. You'll always be one of them, looking down on the rest of us. Even if you spare me now, one betrayal is all that stands between my blade and your throat."

Jaq advances, and Cela steps back, maintaining a buffer of distance between them.

"Will you walk away from here with the power to keep up your act—or will you show me what you really are?" Jaq says, low and mocking. "Lost, and broken. Worthless without the Force."

Cela's back hits one of the consoles on the bridge, having backed away as far as she can, and yet Jaq still advances, gripping her jaw in his hand, twisting her face up to look at him.

"Love is fleeting," Jaq says. "There is only the Dark side, or death."

Jaq's eyes are on hers, their grey as opaque and uncaring as the sharp edge of a vibroblade, and Cela shuts her eyes, no longer able to stand his gaze.

Power is what kept her going, but in that time when she had believed that she stood alone on Korriban, lost in a sea of hostility, what use was her power then? Cela had never felt more unlike herself—and until she had healed Jaq of his injury, she'd forgotten what she'd once held in her heart.

And yet Cela cannot fathom turning away. She's never known how one could bear it: to hear the Force and never be able to grasp it again; to feel like this, forever.

But before she can voice anything, Jaq's cruel touch is pulled away. A sensation of falling lifts her heart to her throat, and a gloved hand grips hers, pulling her through—and Cela's eyes fly open, seeing not the bridge or the stormy skies of Malachor, but the mundane and familiar interior of the headmaster's ship, the one that she and Jaq had left in flames on that pale speck of a planet.

Her hand is still held, tight, and her gaze trails up her rescuer's arm, to the shoulders of a familiar jacket. Jaq's back is turned to her as he scrolls quickly through the screens at the pilot's seat, and scenes fly past in the front viewport: sandy dunes, barren land, a cantina interior, a forest floor.

"Jaq?" Cela says, and hears in her voice a trembling, fearful shadow of herself; with a breath to gather herself, she tries again, firmer. "Jaq, what is this?"

"Hold on," Jaq says, "I'll find it—any moment now."

"Find what?" Cela says, pulling away. "If this is another trial, I—"

But when Jaq turns at last to face her, his eyes hold none of the cruelty of the tomb’s trials, bearing only concern and warmth—he’s real. With a shaky breath, relief drives her forward, and Cela finds herself throwing her arms around him, pressing herself to his chest.

"Wow, you're really glad to see me, huh?" Jaq sounds relieved, relaxing and wrapping an arm around her in return. "For a moment there, I thought I'd never find you."

"Wait," Cela says, pulling away to look at him, "How did you find me? How are you here?"

"It's a long story," Jaq says. "You know, I almost got fooled by this other version of you, but then I saw myself, and—well, you have no idea how many places I waded through to find you."

"You're navigating inside this place," Cela says, disbelievingly. "But you shouldn't have been let in. These trials, the Force, it…"

"I guess now is as good a time as any," Jaq says, and with a hollow smile he shrugs and says, "I'm Force sensitive."

"What?" Cela says, faintly, pulling away from his grasp, but Jaq steps forward to meet her step back, reaching out to her.

"No, I know," Jaq says. "That's what I thought, too, but Cela, it's okay—"

"What part of this is okay?" Cela says, pushing his hand aside. "What possessed you to follow me? You should have stayed where I left you—far away from this place!"

Cela regrets her words when hurt flashes in Jaq's eyes, but his determination soon replaces it.

"I heard you," Jaq says. "You were calling for me—I didn't imagine that."

"You fell for a trap. You shouldn't have listened," Cela says, even though she knows he's telling the truth—the truth, for once, she doesn't want to hear. "I was fine where I was. I was in control. I always am."

"Then you have a funny way of showing it," Jaq says, sarcasm coloring his words. "Were you fine when you panicked at me rounding up hopefuls for you, trying to help you? Were you in control when you crushed that creature guarding the ship?"

Cela opens her mouth to answer, when the ship trembles, and she looks up quickly, eyes wide and afraid to find Malachor in the viewport again. Nothing fills it but dark, vast space; and when her attention returns to him, all the harshness in Jaq's demeanor is gone, leaving only the hurt beneath.

"Cela," Jaq says, "Please—I know something's happening to you. I thought it was just stress, but—whatever it was that overcame you, whatever it is that you're scared of—that's why you're here, isn't it?

"If you just tell me what's happening, maybe I can help," Jaq says. "Maybe this touch of the Force inside me can be good for something for once. Whatever you need of me, if you show me, I can—"

"You can't. I can't let you help me," Cela says, pulling away from him before he can take her shoulders in his hands, blanket her in more frustratingly gentle words. Though the Force can't be manipulated here, she pulls something like it to her hands to hold him apart from her, fearing that her resolve will break—and the ship shudders in response, protesting the barrier, but Cela ignores it, her voice strengthening in conviction.

"This isn't some monster we can kill, some night terror. This is the Force itself," Cela says. "After Malachor V, they called us all ghosts for witnessing so much death that day, but I was one who felt it. I held a tie to every last Jedi, every last sacrifice, and I felt their deaths scream across the Force, magnified tenfold in the intimacy of my mind.”

"I couldn't bear it,” she confesses. “I couldn't listen anymore. I cut them all from me, severed every last tie, including mine to the Force. But the Force must run through all living things, and the price I pay to live is to steal what shreds of it I can from others. I drained it from every Jedi we hunted, every doomed hopeful you brought to me, and now—"

She laughs, helpless.

"Now I can hurt you in the same way," Cela says. "You've seen the kind of death I deal; it had disturbed you. Aren't you afraid?"

She expects Jaq to look upon her as what she is: a shambling disaster, a tragedy past its ending. The metal of the ship around them strains, and the stars in the viewport begin to melt and marble into space, becoming the lightning of Malachor V once more—and yet, when Cela raises her gaze to Jaq's at last, the look in his eyes is fierce and determined, centered only on her.

"I’m not," Jaq says, “But you are. You’re just trying to scare me away.“

"Jaq," Cela says, despairing, "You don't understand—"

"Maybe I don't," Jaq says. "Not yet. I haven't known all this as long as you have. But there's something that you don't understand either."

Somehow, that not-quite-Force begins to slip from her fingers, the barrier between them buckling.

"Because I remember Malachor, too," Jaq says. "I remember all the anger and hatred I felt as the war was dragged out for nine long years, because the Jedi council refused to join it. I remember feeling that for so long that every other emotion in me grew dull. But you were part of what woke me up again, Cela; you were why I stayed. I've been afraid of the Force for so long—Light, Dark, it didn't matter—but you showed me another way."

The barrier is gone now; Jaq could approach, but he doesn't, leaving the space between them merely empty. Outside, the stars have become not the surface of Malachor V, but coalesced into plain sunlight; the ship, having accomplished its task, simply disappears from memory. All that remains is a tree, a wall, and a field of green, familiar to Dantooine. Light passes through the canopy above, falling dappled upon her shoulders, and unlike the memories the tomb has shown her, this one holds nothing but calm.

Cela runs her fingers through the sunlight, watching the flickers of gold play across them. Jaq, who despite taking her here, seems completely new to their surroundings, looks around with some confusion.

"The wall, it just… fades away," Jaq says. "I know none of this is meant to be real, but…."

"It's all I remember of home," Cela explains. "From before I joined the Jedi."

"Oh," he says, changing his tone in that single word; Cela gives a slight smile.

"It's alright," Cela says. "I'm told my family was proud to let me go. I was proud, too, of all the things I'd been told I could learn to do…."

A leaf flutters in the breeze on one of the branches above, and drops, spiraling into a chaotic fall. Cela holds out her hand, and though its path appears unpredictable, it lands perfectly into her palm.

"The world felt different then," Cela says. "Unknown, but knowable. Vast, but finite. The whole world is simple when you heal; there's nothing else to pour your love into but the wound before you."

This time, she doesn't pull away when Jaq steps forward to close the distance between them. His hand finds the curve of her face; his thumb is gentle as he brushes her cheek, and she realizes that, at some point, a tear had fallen there, betraying her.

"Can you show me how?" Jaq asks.

"So you can heal the wound in me?" Cela says, with a weak laugh. "It's futile. You could keep trying for years upon years, an eternity, and never make a mark."

"That's alright," Jaq says, "I've got nowhere else to put my love. The Sith Lord it belongs to doesn't want it."

"I'm no Sith Lord after this," Cela says; though no one else need know about the tomb and its test, she'll forever know she failed it. "And… you don't know that."

"I don't?" Jaq says. "Does that mean you'll come back with me, now?"

Cela lifts her gaze to his.

"I will, but... do you understand what you're asking?" Cela says, stilling his hand. "If we're to love each other, we'll inevitably form a Force bond. You'll be able to feel my pain, my sadness—"

"—And your love, and your relief," Jaq says. "And the same goes the other way around; I know. I remember my training. I always thought a bond like that would weaken me, but now it sounds like what we already have."

"But it's stronger," Cela says. "Unbreakable, unless one of us dies, or wounds ourselves to sever it."

Rather than match her seriousness, Jaq only smiles, and the fluttery, warm thread laced through the tangle of his emotions reveals the love beneath.

"Cela," Jaq says teasingly, "Are you proposing to me?"

Her words play back in her head, her face burning with warmth—but her response is cut short. Dantooine is fading: the tree bark has grown stony and jagged, the land barren, and the wall translucent, a window back into the trial she’d left behind. Cela pulls Jaq close to her.

"We can't dwell here any longer," Cela says. "You've shown me a way out; now take it."

It's no different from waking from a dream. Cela's eyes open to the ancient, dusty tomb floor she had fallen upon, and Jaq, slumped over her previously limp body, begins to rouse as well. His eyes catch hers, and she's pulled forward.

"Cela," Jaq breathes in relief, pulling her into a crushing hug. It's uncomfortable yet calming at the same time; his heartbeat is strong against hers, reminding her that she's still alive. When the embrace relaxes, it's only so Jaq can pull away slightly to look into her eyes. "No more creepy Sith tombs, please—at least not without me."

"Y—yes," Cela says, and it's only now that she's experiencing the real thing that she realizes how muted Jaq's touch was in the tomb's illusions. Had he always been so warm? And had she really said all those things—been so honest with him... shown him the parts of herself she'd long sought to hide?

Somehow, Jaq seems to know exactly what's running through her mind.

"I guess they're not all bad, though," Jaq says. "I finally know how you feel about me."

The look on Jaq's face is smug, satisfied—but just a touch uncertain, as though a trace of doubt lingers that their earlier conversation had ever happened at all. Cela could deny it now, put him back at an arm's distance—but after all the pain it took to get here, there's something freeing in pure honesty.

"You do," Cela admits, and for all her embarrassment and flushed cheeks, finds it the easiest thing in the galaxy to say, "I love you."

It's one thing to know, and another to hear it outright: Jaq turns red, as well.

"R—right," Jaq says, and clears his throat awkwardly. "And the bond, well… I think you know what my answer is."

A warmth glows in Cela’s heart, and she takes his hand, interlacing their fingers.

"I do," Cela says, "Though I wouldn't mind hearing it."

"I'll spill everything once we get out of here," Jaq says. "We've had a long enough heart to heart in some dead Sith’s resting place."

Cela laughs, and with that, they leave.

—

"So, Nar Shaddaa?" Jaq asks.

"Nar shaddaa," Cela confirms. "It will be easier to hide you there than on Korriban."

"I'm sorry," Jaq says, and Cela wonders what the apology is for when she's already come to realize that she has only ever suffered through this place, but he continues, "I know what you gave for your place here."

That, out of everything, is what constricts her throat, with something not unlike sorrow cinching it shut. She grips the sill of the ship’s viewport; the pressure against her fingertips grounds her.

She looks out across the cracked and barren land, to the academy, standing high on its cliff, a lofty structure that well represents its place in Revan's army. It had seemed so crucial and all-encompassing, holding all the crushing weight of Revan's influence… and yet now that she's prepared to leave, it appears small.

"It's alright," Cela says at last, turning away from the sight. "It never suited me."

[fallout-drabbles-n-stuff]

Companions and their mental health statuses?

(Wrote this while listening to a Spotify playlist named "going absolutely fucking apeshit" anyway- I'm gonna split this up by what I think character wise...and then my experiences with these seggsy bitches in game bc boy, it's been wild)

Cait:

•Sufferer of severe trauma throughout her life.

•Shit just gets worse

•Fights for her life and has a strong love for psycho before a special someone convinced her she is worthy of being loved

•Trust issues out the wazoo..for sadly, good reasons.

•Maybe not the worst on the list, but definitely up there.

In game experience...

•GOD DAMN FALLOUT VERSION OF LYDIA- like seriously? Gtfo the doorway! I'm getting blown up!

•Hates everyone and everything except sole and breaking the law.

Curie:

•Actually not all that bad...except for secret abandonment issues.

•Usually masks it by burying herself in research.

•As far as these poor bastards go, she's probably one of the most mentally stable- which is scary.

In game experience.....

•Sweet Frenchie with asshole pets.

(I don't travel with her often 🥲)

Danse:

Pre-Blind Betrayal-

•Confirmed sufferer of PTSD

•Blames himself for the death of several team members.

•Evidence points towards un-talked about alcoholism.

•Seems to be attracted to power armour..

•Not very good but not the worst on this list..

Post-Blind Betrayal-

•Same as above but add on identity crisis times a thousand and two.

•Will literally kill himself (or let you kill him) if you don’t convince him otherwise.

In game experience....

•Fucking goes apeshit, pre or post BB

•Completely unaware of his surroundings unless it has to do with vertibirds flying over head, then it's time for guerrilla warfare. "Fate has decreed that you must die!"- he speaks, drawing a laser rifle.

•Has been caught on multiple instances doing drugs out of the drug vending machine in Nuka World despite clearly being against them.

Deacon:

•Probably one of the more mentally fucked.

•Lost his wife in front of his own eyes in a notably terrible way.

•Escapes his deep seeded pain through his elaborate schemes, justifying it by telling himself it helps his organization.

•Still feels like shit every waking minute.

•Cant really allow himself to get close to anyone because of his experiences.

In game experiences...

•Asshole

•Jumpscare king, mainly because I didn't know he changed outfits THAT often.

•Doesn't like physical affection???  Shit that actually makes sense..

•Stalker.

Gage:

•He's pretty "meh" on the sanity scale. He's ruthless, but he's entirely stable besides his attachment issues.

•Trusts too easy and hates himself for it...also tries to make himself not be that way and for the most part, it works!

•Problematic raider.

In game experience...

•Makes stupid comments at inappropriate times as though he wishes for the enemies to murder us

•Thinks that walking through walls is entirely possible and gets stuck every time I run with him

Hancock:

•The actual worst on this fine list of mentally messed up individuals.

•Self worth is just nonexistent despite being a pretty all around decent guy

•Uses drugs to cover up terrible trauma to the point of putting himself in the greatest danger just short of dying

•Oh yeah, doesn't mind death actually.

•Doesn't feel worthy of anything deep down.

in game experience...

•Shoots sole for stealing shit in the third rail

•Unhinged

•Sits for hours

Macready:

•Lost his wife in a horrific way

•Only has his son, who he is convinced is going to die sooner than later because of something he can't control

•Willing to do everything if it means caps to send to his sick child

•Doesn't really have a place to call his "home"

•Reckless and unforgiving

In game experience...

•Being nice? How dare you speak such ill language.

•Kleptomaniac

Maxson:

•Does as good as a boy his age with all of the responsibility possibly could.

•Just imagine- your dad died when you were super young. Your mother shipped your ass away. The people you loved like family died all around you. Now you're stuck in foreign land and have no fucking idea where to begin, only that you have to mobilize these fuckers you're in charge of and remain a good leader...

•Still not good enough? Okay, pile on insomnia, alcoholism, and the thought that you have no one alive that truly loves you as more than just the "elder". Oh, but you eventually got to spit out some kids somehow because you're the last of the great "Maxson" line...

•Also not exactly on the "stable" side..

In game experience...

•Stares intently down the Prydwen command deck with his hands behind his back..for hours.

•Never wants to chat :(

•Long winded and short sighted, bad combo..

Nick:

•Has to deal with not only demons that technically aren't even his, but after "reunions"- Kellogg's fucked up self haunts him. He keeps it to himself and suffers silently.

•Deals with the pain of knowing there will never be a place where is truly just himself. He's a man trapped inside of a metal cage..and yet he's not even really "that" man, is he?

•One could easily understand how he has some issues too.

In game experience...

•Cigarettes? Yes.

•Oh, Youre in a fight? Seems like a good time to tighten the bolts in my hand right about now...

•Wields a flamer like a champ.

Piper:

•Surprisingly..has the most sound mental state out of all.

•Is a little obsessive tho

•Has had to adapt to the role of sibling and parent to her younger sister, which isn't easy for anyone.

•Often delves into her work, sort of like curie, to avoid dealing with the pain of her parents no longer being there for her or nat.

In game experience..

•Hey kid, want some Nuka-Cola?

•Mayor McDonough shall die, even if it means execution by the hands of everyone else in Diamond City.

Preston:

•Has canonically admitted to considering suicide.

•Is holding onto the last threads of hope he has with a fucking death grip.

•Definitely not of the best mental state

In game experience...

•Doesn't know how to properly use furniture.

•Can hear sole coming from a mile away and is already getting the map out for the next settlement

X6-88:

•Emotions? Is that a snack?

•Seriously though, he has been "reset" so many times that sometimes-he doesn't even realize it- he doesn't even know what "he" is. Every aspect of who he is..it should be gone, he's a machine and he knows it...why does he still feel like a person?

•Short story, he hates life. He hates being held captive and being used like a damn hound to hunt down those who were smart enough to run- those of which he envied and didn't even realize he did. Hey, he's just a machine though- it's his job and he knows better than to revolt.

•Violence is the freedom he feel he has. He can kill and track in any way he wants, so long as it is successful and what the Institute deem appropriate. It's horrible, but he doesn't realize it- and at this point he doesn't care. The death of another and the way they die by his hand is just his way of expressing who he is deep down.

In game experience...

•Oi, you don't like the institue? FUCK YOU

[sithsecrets]

one and lonely | din djarin x reader

you and mando visit one of his old friends at a corellian strip club, and doubt begins to set in. in return, mando gives you something no one’s ever had: his name.

---

2.8k words

mentions: implied/referenced piv sex, fem!reader, strippers, strip clubs, original female character, mild jealousy, mild hurt/comfort, mild smut, fluffy at the end

---

In hindsight, you have no idea why you agreed to do this. It probably has a lot to do with the words Mando used, how he asked you and when he asked you.

“I know someone who can watch the baby,” he had said, murmuring in your ear under the cover of darkness. “I need you to come with me. Will you?”

Need— that one little word is what made you say yes, heart jumping in your throat the second you heard it. And what a sound it was, dripping from Mando’s tongue raw, the static of the modulator not touching a single bit of the word. It’s like he knew you couldn’t say no to him then, not when he was naked and laid out beside you in the pitch-black hull, helmet off— no creed to abide by, no business to attend to, just him. Then he’s talking about needing your help, insinuating that he wants you to assist him bring in bringing in this bounty, and well… It hit all the right spots inside you, the raw ones that need gentle handling, and you said yes without second’s hesitation.

Since it all began, what you and Mando do together in the dark has felt vaguely unreal, the sex and the talking and the vulnerability of it all so foreign and ridiculous in the light of day. But you this right here, this strip club on Corellia? It’s realer than real, your senses overloaded by the sights and sounds, by the smells and textures. Your first instinct is to turn right back around, but Mando’s got you by the arm, gently leading you through the room.

“Find a table near the stage,” he tells you, speaking in your ear to be heard over the thudding, fast music. “I have to meet someone. Send me a comm immediately if you see the quarry, alright?”

All you can do is nod, distraught as Mando abandons you near the front of the club. You watch him walk away, colorful lights bouncing off the beskar as he goes, and then you do as you’re told, taking a seat at a table as far away from other patrons as possible.

Alone and completely out of your element, you have no idea how to act. You suppose you should try to blend in, but you feel shy watching the show. The women are half-naked and unbelievably beautiful, practically levitating as they perform onstage. You have no idea how they’re doing half of what they’re doing on their poles, and you envy their sex appeal, their confidence. You’d sooner die than give one of these patrons the time of day, but to watch them fawn over the dancers and give them money does make you feel just the slightest bit less-than. You could never be so bold as to work a job like this one, and the attention, well… Nobody’s ever going to look at you like that, not even the most desperate man, and you’re sure as hell never going to have anyone throwing credit after credit your way like it’s their honor to do so.

“It’s okay if you want to look, honey. Nobody’s going to judge you, not in here.”

The sound of a voice above you has you jolting in your seat, your train of thought crashing and then disappearing like it never existed in the first place. You look up to see who’s addressing you, only to find that it’s not a someone at all, but a goddess. Never in your whole life have you been this close to someone so gorgeous, and you finally understand what it means to be struck speechless by a person’s beauty.

The woman seems to sense what you’re feeling, and a small, almost satisfied smile creeps over her perfectly painted mouth. She leans down, her curtain of thick, silky red hair swinging, and you catch the scent of something spicy all around her. Perfume, you think, but not the cheap kind. “Are you here all by yourself, baby?”

Something in your brain sputters back to life, and you’re able to speak again.

“No,” you blurt, “I— I’m here with my friend. He has to talk to someone.”

The second the words leave your mouth, you feel like you’ve said too much, done too much— your gaze went straight to Mando when you started talking about him, and the redheaded goddess is looking dead at him now. And that’s just what he needs, more attention than he’s already getting with all that beskar on his body. Mando always puts a premium on secrecy, especially during his hunts, yet here you are spouting off all his business to someone you just met. Fucking unbelievable.

“The Mandalorian is your friend?”

You couldn’t lie to this woman, not even if you wanted to, and so you find yourself nodding before you can think about what you’re doing. She looks back at him one last time, the jewels on her skimpy costume flashing, and then you’re the object of her full attention once more.

“Loosen up, honey,” she says to you, reaching out to brush a strand of hair from your face with a soft, manicured hand. “I’ll send you a drink on me.”

The goes the way she came, disappearing more than she walks away. A few minutes later, a waitress does come by with a drink for you, but you still don’t have the nerve to turn your gaze towards the dancers. No, instead you keep your eyes essentially glued to the floor, only peeking up now and then to glance at Mando. He’s still at the bar every time you look, stock still and unbothered, almost like a statue someone affixed to the stool he’s seated on.

About the fourth time you do this, you’re startled to find that Mando’s no longer alone, accompanied now by the very same redhead that bought you a drink. She’s just as stunning at distance, perched on the stool like it was made for her, hair shining under the lights. The shape of her body had been lost on you before, but it would seem that that, too, is utter perfection. Jealousy flashes up inside you when Mando leans in close, giving her his full attention as she talks. Whatever’s being said must be important, the set of her face serious as she listens to him in turn. Eventually, the conversation wraps up, and then Mando’s coming to collect you from your table. The two of you leave together, and you’ve never been more relieved to get back to the Crest.

Though your little jaunt into Corellia’s night life was anything but, the rest of your evening is routine. You and Din collect the Child from his friend, you make dinner when you get back to the ship, and when the baby falls asleep, Mando cuts the lights and fucks you for the better part of an hour. You’re left sated and sleepy by the end of it all, already dozing off as Mando cleans his cum off your stomach with a rag.

Mando had you in his arms when you finally went out for good, but you wake up cold and alone, blinking sleep out of your eyes in the dimness of the hull. You pull on a new pair of underwear and a loose shirt, stumbling back towards the armory after a quick check on the baby. He’s still sound asleep, but you know Mando’s up and about if the noise in the back is anything to go by.

Sure enough, you find him cleaning his blaster, perched on a crate with some supplies laid out nearby.

“Hey,” is all Mando says to you, barely looking up from his work. You feel it still, though, the way he reaches out to pinch the back of your thigh as you walk to the pantry, and that makes something warm bloom in your chest.

It’s quiet for a while, just you munching on your snack as Mando works on his weapons. There’s a clink here and there, a crinkle of the bag in your hands, but neither one of you speaks at all. As you sit there and watch Mando clean and count and calibrate, you can’t help but think back on all that’s happened today, on the club and that woman who spoke to both of you. The smell of her perfume is still vivid in your mind.

The smell of her perfume, and the way Mando sat so close to her.

“That woman you met with tonight was nice,” you say slowly, trying to fish for information without being too obvious. You’d like to know if Mando knew her before tonight, and how he came to discover that club at all. There’s so much of his life that predates you, so much of his history that you’ll likely never know, and it’s times like these when that fact comes into sharp focus.

Mando doesn’t even raise his head. “She liked you.”

That makes you flush. “We didn’t even talk for five minutes.”

“She liked you anyway.” Finally, you earn yourself a glance. “Sypha’s just like that.”

Sypha. Even her name is sexy.

“You know her?”

“She’s a friend,” Mando affirms, shrugging. “A lot of people pass through her place. She’s always good for information when I need it.”

You nod, trying to stay causal. “How did you two meet?”

“We know some of the same people. I cut her in a bounty, Maker, what, five years ago maybe? Anyway, I’ve kept in touch ever since. Like I said, she sees a lot of faces.”

That genuinely makes a lot of sense, but you know that Mando doesn’t consider just anybody a friend.

“Have you had sex with her?”

It’s risky question, and you’ve really got no right to ask it. But since you and Mando started hooking up, you’ve always wondered what he’s comparing you to in his head, always wanted to know how you measure up to the women he’s had in the past. Call it jealousy, call it insecurity, hell, call it self-absorption— in any case, you just want to know. You have to know.

Mando’s hands go completely still, abandoning his work in his lap as he raises his head to look at you. You feel small and helpless before him, and you wonder if he knows that he had your dignity, your ego, and, most importantly, your heart clenched between his teeth. Just the slightest bit of pressure, one puncture from a sharp, dismissive word, and he could destroy all three.

“Yeah,” he finally says, “a few times. But that was back in the day.”

A few times stings, but he’s not exactly telling you to fuck off and mind your own business. You know you should quit while you’re ahead, but you feel like a woman possessed, words tumbling out of your mouth before you can stop them.

“Did you want to hook up with her tonight?” You take a breath, think about how that might have sounded. “I mean— If I wasn’t there, if I hadn’t been waiting for you, would you have gone in the back with her?”

You know he knows what you’re talking about, Mando’s not stupid. He saw how some of the dancers would lead patrons back behind a curtain and off into another part of the club, he saw it because you saw it, and Mando doesn’t miss a thing.

The blaster and his tools now fully abandoned, you know Mando’s appraising you, his gaze intense even behind the helmet. An apology sits poised right on the tip of your tongue the instant you’re done speaking, because who the fuck do you think you are? Mando’s girlfriend or something? And even if you were, even if he did call you his and show you off like that, he’s a grown man. He has a past, and he has a right to have a past, regardless of what it involves. Just because you’ve had sex with a grand total of two people in your entire lifetime doesn’t justify you being upset at the fact that Mando’s known more than one woman before you, whether he paid to know them or not.

“Sypha never took me in the back, not even back then.” Mando doesn’t sound upset, but the tone of his voice has certainly changed. “And no, mesh’la, I didn’t want to fuck her tonight, and she didn’t want me either. All that’s long gone between us. And even if she did ask, I wouldn’t have accepted. I wouldn’t make a fool of you like that.”

You must look as confused as you feel because Mando shifts on his crate, tilting his head your way. “Cyare,” he says, disbelieving, “do you really think I’d do that? Fuck some other woman while you’re here waiting for me to come back?”

It feels like somebody picked your brain up and shook it, all the thing you could say jumbling up in your head. “Well, we never… You never… I don’t know what I thought, Mando. I’m sorry.”

He sighs, deep and tired, but you don’t think it’s directed at you. “No,” he says, “I’m sorry. I don’t— I’m not good at this, and I know that. I’m not good at talking, especially when it’s about you, or what we do when the baby’s asleep, or how I feel. Just… Just know that when I meet with someone, whether you’re there or not, it’s all business. You’re the only one, alright?”

Once again, you have absolutely no idea what to say. You’re not sure you could talk around the lump in your throat anyway, even if you did have the words to express how you feel. Tears burn the corners of your eyes, but you refuse to cry, deciding that that would be entirely too dramatic.

“I know the fact that I’ve been with other people worries you—”

“It’s doesn’t,” you cut, lying through your teeth. You’d sooner die than have Mando think that you judge him for his past.

“It worries you,” he presses, “but it shouldn’t. You have something that none of them have ever had, something they’ll never get to have, period.”

Your heart leaps in your throat, thoughts racing. “What’s that?”

“My name.”

“But everyone calls you Mando. When—”

“No,” he says, speaking over you, “my actual name. The name my parents gave me.”

You think for a moment there that you’re still sleeping, that you never woke up from your little post-sex slumber and that this is all a dream. But no, Mando really is beckoning you over, gloved hands reaching out to grab hold of your waist as you lean in close. The two of you are alone on the ship, save for your sleeping baby, but even so, the whole thing is secretive, hush hush like a ritual. And you think that’s a fitting way to treat this, a fitting way to behave as Mando reveals one of his most closely guarded personal details.

“Close your eyes,” Mando commands, speaking softly, and your heart stops as you think of the lights— one false move, one flutter of an eyelid, and you’ll see it all. You’ll see him.

“Mando—”

“Close your eyes, mesh’la,” he repeats. “I trust you.”

Those last three words alone are enough to put your body on autopilot, and so you do as you’re told, eyes slipping closed. The sound of Mando removing his helmet is unmistakable, the beskar landing with a thunk beside him. Your stomach flutters when you feel his breath on your ear, the warmth of it so familiar and yet so foreign all at the same time.

“My name is Din,” he whispers, voice softer than you ever thought it could be. “Din Djarin. You can’t call me that in front of other people, but here when we’re alone, when we’re with the Child, you can say it all you want.”

“Din,” you say, experimenting with the name, trying it out on your tongue. A hand trails up and down, up and down, up and down the inside of your thigh, and so you sigh it again. “Din.”

“I like how you say my name,” Din tells you, and it takes all you have to keep your eyes clamped shut. “But I’m sure I’ll like how you moan it that much more. Go lie down, I’ll be there in a minute.”

You don’t have to be told twice.

[specialagentartemis]

🌾

🌾 A fic you really want to write but you haven’t (yet)?

I have SO many more ideas than I have energy to carry them out. The big one is the Last Days of the Lovelace Administration which I have like a six page outline for. A frame story set during the Wolf 359 s2-s3 timeskip, when Minkowski has kind of accepted that sooner or later the Hephaestus is going to fail and they’re all going to die and no one is answering her calls, and Lovelace tells Minkowski about what happened when her own mission failed, tracing the history of What Happened from Fisher's death to Lovelace's abandonment of Selberg on the station as she takes off alone. It will be very long and horribly tragic.

I actually have, like, I think three other distinct "here's how everybody on this space/deep sea station died" fic plans percolating in my mind (the last days of Zhang's Tiamat, the last horrifying few hours of the Hermes, and the decline and... it never really ended, Sirena kept surviving for ten years under the sea, of Sirena Halcyon's Tiamat as well.) (I love... the slow quiet horror of being trapped, abandoned, and doomed.)

(Relatedly, but with a more hopeful ending, it's a fascination that has made me go "who WAS Consuela Makeba and WHAT WAS HER STORY" so if nobody stops me I'm probably going to someday end up writing the backstory of how the Preservation Alliance began ~280 years ago, back with an abandoned and desperate and starving colony planet and a sleeper ship captain determined to help.)

[solarsavoy]

WIP Wednesday, 2022 Goals

For this week's WIP Wednesday, I wanted to share what my goals are for the rest of the year in regards to my art and writing. First are the things that I "must" do, then the things I "hope" to do.

Must List:

Keep up with weekly Life in Retail updates on Saturdays. Since it's supposed to be happening now, I can't just stop, right? Lol.

ASD Karushuu. ASD is a collection I've started called "Any Ship Dates" where I write up a date for any ship. This one, however, happens in the Life in Retail universe and should happen on 9/11, at least that's the plan.

Suprise one-shot for 11/9 that also happens in the Life in Retail universe. Don't want to spoil anything with this one though. 😉

Kristmas Karma II Prelude, end of November. Just like with Kristmas Karma I, there will be a prelude, main story, and New Years epilogue. This is also when the AC character starts working at Nagisa's store, Convenience. ^^ Or at least they get the job. I haven't worked out the details yet. Interacts with Life in Retail.

Kristmas Karma II, posted daily just like the first one for 25 days of Christmas! Interacts with Life in Retail.

Technically 2023, but Kristmas Karma II New Years on the first of January. Interacts with Life in Retail.

I also plan on keeping up with Magic Shuu every other Friday and hope to get ahead so when it comes to Kristmas Karma II, I don't die from overworking and stress. 😅 We'll see how it goes. It's all planned out, so it should be easy to get ahead, but the chapters are long and it comes with pictures.

Second Chances, a To Your Eternity one-shot. I feel like my muse just up and abandoned this, but there's no excuse! The picture is nearly as done as the fic and it just needs a little bit more, but I... just... haven't touched it. 🤷‍♀️ But seriously, it's been nearly done for two weeks now, so hopefully I'll finish it soon. Hopefully...

Maybe List:

I would like to finish Gerit. I only have to do the pictures and I'd hate for it to take over a year to post something as small as 20k words that has been finished since June of last year because of just some drawings. >_> But we'll see. If I don't start it up by October, it probably won't get done this year, but I want to. May also post this on Patreon for Patrons so that at least the story is up somewhere, but AO3 will just have to wait for pictures. Sorry.

Krystar First Fragment edit and republish. I'm considering alternative self publishing other than Amazon and I'd like to have it up sooner rather than later, but apparently ISBNs are expensive. 😵 So this may also be made available to Patrons via Patreon. Also hoping to redo the cover, but we'll see.

And that of course brings me to Krystar Second Fragment. I'm in the process of editing, but it's slow going since I like to keep myself busy (can't you tell? Only 9 things on this list already. 😅) I plan on having a few beta readers get at it after that, but then I might not be at the publishing stage until next year. Even so, I hope to get the editing done and it sent to the beta readers by November at the lastest (but we'll see how that works. 🙄)

Finish Assassin Skills Required Bonus Round. The main story is done. I just have to rewrite it with Deshi and Stag's perspective. Why is this so hard? Or rather, it's not hard, my muse just doesn't want to do it anymore and it was its idea. 😣 Whatever... Anyway, would love to knock this and Gerit off my list so all my works are completed on AO3 because I'm OCD like that and hate unfinished things. Anywho.

The 20 day drawing challenge that I'm cheating and doing ahead of time for Assassination Classroom. High chance of it getting done (at the time of me writing this) and I hope to start posting in September, but honestly, if I don't, I probably won't do it this year at all.

Zodiac Killers. It's only 12 chapters. I have them all planned out. It's not that intricate of a story. I can write this easy, yeah? Well... I didn't finish it in July and haven't touched it since but I'm still hoping to write it up so it's off my to-do list. Planning on posting sometime in September or October. If it doesn't start by November, also putting it off until next year then.

And last but not least, Pandora's Box - The Lust for Truth (work 1 out of 7). It's mostly dependent on the art right now, and I hope to get this out, but of everything on the list, this is probably the least likely to happen. 😅 I'll try to work on it at least and since I plan on finishing the entire thing before I start posting it, I really don't care when I get it done, even if it's during Kristmas Karma II. I'll still post it, because it'll be done.

And that's my list. Because I'm a nerd, here's a schedule for your viewing ease on my goals for this year.

Thanks for reading! What are you most looking forward to reading? Let me know with a comment. 😊

Edit: I wrote this up last week and this edit is right before posting this. The 20 day challenge will start October 1st and I'll be posting a celebratory pic for my 1st year on Tumblr the same day, inspired by @o0o0thorn0o0o . Also, I'm considering pushing my whole Krystar project off until I've created more of a fanbase and gained some financial support for it. Speaking of which, Patreon is currently up and running! And I post all my sketches and linework on there. Still making tweaks and stuff on it, but I am posting exclusive stuff already, soon to include chapters of Krystar First Fragment until I'm ready to publish it again. Thanks for reading!

[mari-beau]

GIVE ME A REASON: PART FOUR - A Rogue One Fanfic

So this part/scene got a little out of control. Ironically, since I only had the base idea of when it would take place until I started writing it. You can also find/read this story on AO3 now.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Title: Give Me A Reason: Part Four

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Characters: Jyn Erso POV, Cassian Andor

Pairing: Cassian/Jyn (mostly pre-ship?)

Spoilers: Rogue One; Episode IV A New Hope

Setting: Post-Rogue One AU (Cassian & Jyn live); Also during/post A New Hope

Warnings: Some sappiness?

Words: 2,978

Story Summary: Jyn’s entire universe has been turned on its head, so maybe she’s clinging a little too hard to the one thing she feels certain of (strangely enough) as she tries to figure out her place in the galaxy. And maybe she’s being a little overprotective of a wounded captain.

Also can be found on AO3.

...

“Ms. Erso, it is time for you to vacate the infirmary.”

Jyn jerked, jarred from sleep and reaching for the knife she no longer had on her person. Her situation settled back around her surfacing consciousness, calming her immediate fight-or-flight response but keeping her on edge.

“No,” she told the medical orderly droid. “I already told the doctors, medical staff and you lot that I’m not leaving Captain Andor. I don’t want him to wake up alone.”

“Yes. You were most clear regarding your intransigence, Ms. Erso.”

Droids had the worst attitudes. Shouldn’t med ones be programmed with a better bedside manner?

“But the bed is needed,” the droid went on when she just wanted it to go away so she could wallow in the overwhelming mix of emotions drowning her; loss, guilt, relief. “There are numerous incoming casualties from a skirmish in the Za’dan sector.”

Jyn scowled, but didn’t budge.

“What difference does it make if I leave? It’s not like I’m taking up an extra bed.” As if to prove her point, she shifted closer to Cassian in the infirmary cot, making her already petite body take up even less room.

“Captain Andor is to be processed for discharge. So you will keep your superfluous vow that he won’t wake up alone. Even though he wouldn’t be alone anyway. There are medical staff and med-droids present.”

Jyn was too alarmed by the droid’s revelation to mind the griping typical to its type.

“You’re discharging him?!” Jyn shifted, pushing herself up to study the unconscious man.

How well she knew every bruise and injury visible and many hidden by the white medical tunic and pants. She’d passed out herself from exhaustion as they began treating her injuries, but as soon as she’d woken up, she’d bullied, threatened and pleaded until they brought her to Cassian, making her wait outside the operating room, only able to watch as they finished the surgeries and treatments. They’d let her curl up in a chair next to the Bacta tank they’d stuck him in afterward, and no one even questioned by the time he was relocated to an infirmary bed when she climbed in beside him.

She’d seen the bandages, bruises, burns and scars. And she knew how they’d changed as the hours, the days had passed. Barely days, just three days since Scarif. Were they insane? They were just going to turn him out, in his condition?

Apparently, they were.

The med-droid was already injecting him with something, and Cassian was rousing. Jyn’s heart beat faster and she practically held her breath, on her knees on the edge of the bed, leaning forward with anticipatory anxiety, clutching at her kyber crystal with one hand. His past few hours of sleep had been strained. He’d been unconscious but also tense, in pain. She’d felt it in the rigidity of his muscles, the periodic hitches in his breathing.

“Did you give him more meds for the pain, too?” she asked the droid. How could they ask him to get back on his feet when he was in so much pain just lying still?

“Yes. And the stimulant should keep him awake until he gets settled back into his quarters.”

Jyn sagged in relief slightly until Cassian came crashing back into reality with a gasp and a jerk, and bewildered, began to thrash. She threw herself on top of him, placing her hands on his shoulders to hold him down, hoping he wouldn’t hurt himself worse, but understanding how confused and frightened he must feel.

“Cassian, It’s Jyn.” As if that would make a difference to him, if he even remembered her upon waking from a days-long practically-a-coma, someone he’d only met far less than a week ago and since had suffered devastating traumas. “You’re safe. You’re on the rebel base on Yavin 4. In the infirmary.”

Almost instantly, he went still, calmed, like a switch had been thrown. But she supposed the man did have quick reflexes, was highly adaptable to various situations. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have made it so long as a rebel spy.

“Jyn?” His eyes found her face. They were a little glassy and unfocused but were still, well, captivating, dark, intelligent and expressive. “What happened?”

“We did it.” She shifted back to kneeling beside him, gave him a smile, a genuine one albeit bittersweet. They had succeeded in their mission, but at a tremendous cost. “The plans to the Death Star were received by the fleet.”

“Are they planning an attack?” Cassian pushed himself up to a sitting position, wincing and inhaling sharply, making Jyn picture the freshly healed surgical incisions that were doubtless strained by the movement.

“I…” Jyn had never thought to ask. The moment she realized they weren’t going to die on that beach, making sure Cassian survived had become her only concern. “I don’t know.”

“I should report to Command.” Cassian moved to get out of the infirmary bed, but Jyn stopped him, grabbing his arm to hold him back. She shimmied across the bed and hopped off it to stand in front of him.

“If they needed any more information or intel, they would’ve asked me.” It sounded plausible, even though if they’d tried it, she couldn’t rightly say she would’ve cooperated (they hadn’t listened to her the last time she tried to convince them of the truth), but especially if it meant leaving Cassian’s side. Even for a moment. How had someone else become her primary, her only concern, that she now cared only for his welfare? “And you’re not in any shape to help. Give yourself a little more time to heal.”

She reached for him as he was already trying to stand, stiffening and wobbling for a moment when he was fully upright. But Jyn would support him without him needing to ask, slid her arms around his waist and tucked her shoulder under one of his arms. He leaned into her, likely without even realizing it. From what Jyn could tell, Cassian was an independent sort of person, like herself, but unlike herself, was not too proud to accept help, being more of a team player than she ever had been.

His fingers went to pinch the bridge of his nose and his eyes squeezed shut. He took a long, deep breath, swaying a little.

“How far are your quarters from the infirmary?” she asked.

He sighed. That close, was it?

“Can you make it? If I help you?” Jyn looked around, but the droid had already stripped the bed and skittered off. She would go find whatever he needed for assistance because maybe he was a little proud, too, and had sacrificed a good portion of his independence by leaning on her. She waited, letting him decide, despite her wanting to wrap him up in soft warm blankets in a fluffy bed of pillows and keep him safe.

“Let’s try it. I should probably find out how bad the damage is sooner than later.” His expression had gone tight and unreadable, and her heart broke to think of the justified fear he must be feeling, that he may have suffered permanent damage that could affect the rest of his life, that might take away his purpose of serving the rebellion.

“They healed the blaster wound easily, but you’ve got an impressive scar,” she said as he took a tentative step, using her like a crutch, not questioning why or how she knew his wounds and medical diagnosis and treatments. “The fractures in your vertebrae and ribs probably haven’t completely knitted yet but the prognosis is good.”

Well, this wasn’t so bad. His weight was a burden making her own steps difficult, but Jyn didn’t begrudge it, not when it meant he was alive, and on his feet even. And they were already at the infirmary door. The medical staff hadn’t given them even a second look, but Jyn steeled herself for the possibility of stares as they entered the rest of the base. She couldn’t care less but these were Cassian’s fellow soldiers and he deserved their respect and not pity.

“They replaced your hip and part of your femur,” she said when they entered the hallway.

“Is that why it feels like I’ve been sliced open from my ribs down to my knee?”

“They sealed you back up.”

A light chuckle escaped him. “Things could be worse, then.”

They could, they really could. If Jyn were to make comparisons, it wasn’t just the fact that they hadn’t died on Scarif like it seemed they should’ve, but this situation she found herself in, saddled with a wounded spy (by her own choosing), on a rebel base, a Death Star out there somewhere in the galaxy… It was still the best place she’d been in since… Since she was abandoned by Saw at 16? Since her mother had died and her father had been taken?

Part of her that enjoyed the warmth of Cassian’s body beside hers, the feel of his wiry flank beneath her hand, the smell of his skin, even the weight of him he placed on her shoulders, that part proposed that this was the best situation, the best time in her entire life.

How pathetic did that make her?

She enjoyed dragging a severely wounded man around some giant old ruins half-reclaimed by the jungle converted to a military base… sort of base… The Alliance was so loosely confederated, everything seemed slapped together and piecemeal.

But hopefully the medical facilities had been up to par… They had seemed nicer than anything Jyn had ever experienced. But that wasn’t saying much at all.

“You need a minute?” she asked, finally realizing Cassian’s steps and breathing had become labored. She maneuvered him towards a wall and leaned up against it with him, nodding to a passing rebel soldier of indeterminable rank and unnotable appearance.

“Maybe it would’ve been better if you’d left me on Scarif,” he said, his voice low, quiet and pained as he almost-panted, sagging against the ancient stone wall.

“No,” she said. “You don’t mean that.”

“I was ready to die.”

She didn’t want to hear this. The meds and the strain were making him say things. She told him as much.

He shook his head.

“Listen to me, Jyn.”

What could she do? What could she say? That she didn’t want to hear how he valued his life so little, that he’d throw it away just for the slim chance of providing an opportunity for the rebellion to destroy some Imperial weapon, a terrifying one, but one weapon of many. She-

“I felt peace. For the first time in my life, probably.” His voice had gotten even lower and quieter, almost a whisper, wistful even. Jyn didn’t dare look at him, had to concentrate on breathing normally when she felt his fingers slip into her hand. It was easier to consider her unsolicited affection for the man when he was giving no indication of whether or not he returned it. “And I think it was because you were there. For the first time in longer than I can remember, I didn’t feel alone.”

Oh, Force. He was getting delirious, saying things that, from what she knew of him, he would never share even if he did feel them.

“Come on, let’s get you back to your own bed.”

He didn’t say anything else as they traversed several more halls, and Jyn wondered if she’d hurt his feelings by not responding to his raw, quiet confession. But he continued to lean on her without any hesitation and the silence between them felt comfortable. It was strange. He’d made her so tense in the beginning, the way he watched her, how secretive he was, so guarded. But somehow, somewhere along the way, she grew to not only feel comfortable with Cassian Andor, but to trust him as she’d never trusted anyone else before.

And she thought, maybe he trusted her in return. He followed her on a suicide mission, let her support his injured, vulnerable self on Scarif, let her drag him off that cursed planet, and now lead him across the rebel base, passing by people who really amounted to the only family he’d ever had.

There weren’t many, however. And none stopped. Or stared, too much. The med droid must have been right about the incoming survivors of the skirmish, everyone seemed a little rushed and mission-oriented. Or maybe there was more going on…

“Stop. Stop.”

Jyn immediately froze.

“Are you okay?” she asked, shifting beneath Cassian’s weight to try to get a good look at his face. “Do you need a break?”

“We’re home,” Cassian said, his eyelids sliding nearly shut before they shot open again.

“Oh,” Jyn said, ignoring the way something fluttered inside of her over his choice of words. “Which one?”

“Left side of the hall.” He indicated the door directly to their left with a nod of his head. The stimulant must be failing to combat the pain meds, and his body’s need to rest, to heal. Because he was getting heavier and more slack in her arms.

They staggered over to the door to his quarters and he was at least coherent enough to punch his code into the lock. His room was by no means large, barely larger than Jyn’s cell on Wobani. But at least he didn’t have a cellmate, er, bunkmate… Well, not officially…

She basically dumped him on the narrow bed, which he didn’t seem to mind at all, making a groaning sound of relief and taking several deep breaths, his legs hanging awkwardly off the side. Not knowing what else to do, she bent to lift his legs and slide them onto the bed, forcing him to lay down in a less uncomfortable position. She pulled the white slip-on infirmary shoes off his feet and tossed them in a corner, feeling only a flash of contrition over sullying the pristine room. It was so austere, even with two of the walls comprised of the old stone of the ancient temple. It could’ve been anyone’s quarters. No. That was wrong. It’s nondescriptness, everything hidden away in the meager storage units, only Cassian would keep his personal space in such a spartan manner.

“Cassian…?”

He mumbled something she took to imply he was listening and not passed out yet.

“Do you have extra bedding? A blanket or something?” She could do without. She had, many times. But it would be a little bit better than sleeping on the bare hard stone floor.

“No… Jungle moon… Already too hot… Why?”

“I was going to sleep here, if you don’t mind,” Jyn said. Why was this an awkward conversation to have? Why was she so afraid he’d say no, send her away? “On the floor.”

His eyes opened and that furrow formed between his brows as he studied her with a gaze that seemed to be having trouble focusing. But then he was scooching over until he was almost touching the wall.

“I think this is a nanometer larger than the infirmary cot,” he said. “What do you think?”

Jyn tried not to smile as she kicked off her own flimsy infirmary shoes and climbed onto Cassian’s bed to stretch out beside him. Something inside her sighed, content. She didn’t let it out.

“I don’t know…” she said. “But I guess if they made the infirmary beds nicer than the barracks, they’d have sick rebels all the time.”

A chuckle escaped through his nose.

“I don’t think they usually offer an ángel as a companion, either.”

“What?” Jyn shifted onto her side to study his face. His eyes were closed and he seemed content. The pain meds must be working.

“My mother was a believer in an Ancient Festian religion that worshipped a creator god. I don’t remember very many specifics...” Jyn didn’t dare breathe out, afraid of interrupting the story, softly spoken with hints of nostalgia, sharing a childhood memory, an intimacy she knew Cassian permitted, well, probably no one. “Except, there were these creatures that did the creator’s bidding, guiding people, aiding them, saving them… Angeles… I don’t know the word in Basic…”

He looked at her, and her apprehension about breaking the spell ebbed. Cassian knew full well who he was talking to, even if the pain meds had loosened his tongue, broken down the rigid walls he kept around his private self.

“I don’t know the word, either,” Jyn said. “I’’ve never heard of such creatures, mythical or otherwise.”

Cassian laughed, a soft little rumble that was accompanied by that rare smile of his that was brighter than a yellow dwarf sun and warmed her just as well. But, “What’s funny about that?”

“You…” His hand found hers, fingers sliding against her palm to curl around hers, engulfing her smaller hand. He shifted to face her, wincing a little, but his expression was soft if serious and . “Jyn, you saved me, guided me, are still coming to my aid… You’re my angelita…”

Oh, shit, he was so tired and drugged up he was becoming incoherent. Hopefully, he wouldn’t remember saying such emotional things- oh.

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back of her knuckles, making her swallow a gasp of surprise, and fight the sigh when he held her hand to his chest as he lay back, his eyelids finally losing the battle and sliding shut.

Oh, Cassian…

“Don’t worship me,” she whispered to his sleeping form. “I’m nothing worth venerating.”

Of course, was she behaving any different when it came to him?

They were quite the mess, the two of them.

She wriggled her fingers in his hold until she was able to interlace them with his and feel the warmth of his palm against hers. Jyn closed her eyes, immersing herself in the quiet, safe moment.