#and i will say about the doctor that i have very different feelings about 13 and jack

[ssentimentals]

haiii, i really love your writing🤍 can you please do either 13 or 60 with jihoon?? Whichever spark your wonderful mind🤗 Also i wanna ask, can i make another request after this? That's it, thank you!!!

haii sweetie, thank you so much 💜 of course you can make another request after this, thank you for participating in the prompt game! 13 is taken, so let's go with 60 :)

prompt: 'truth serum/spell'

'this is bullshit,' jihoon barely resists flinging his cup to the wall. 'how the fuck-'

'well, considering how you are cursing and you usually never curse then i'd say that it really was the truth serum,' wonwoo says, sighing. 'how you're feeling right now? headache, stomache?'

jihoon doesn't feel any different if not to count for a strong urge to tell wonwoo that his hair is horrible - words are out of his mouth before he can even blink and wonwoo simply raises his eyebrow in response. jihoon purses his lips into a thin line and groans; yeah, it definitely is a truth serum. it's not a big thing and doesn't require doctors, truth serums last for few hours max and don't give any physical harm but they are incredibly annoying. 'i'll just go take something from the cafeteria, i'll be fine,' jihoon mutters.

wonwoo nods. 'it's 8 pm, so there shouldn't be many people around. i'm going back home and i won't tell anyone, but let me know in few hours how you're feeling, yeah?'

jihoon smiles, nodding thankfully. last thing he wants is to worry everyone over such a small thing and wonwoo knows this perfectly well. he also doesn't get offended at all jihoon's outburst about his hair and only jokingly warns him to stay away from directors or anyone important. 'don't want you to say something bad to them,' wonwoo huffs, heading home. 'look out for yourself.'

jihoon does usually, he has no idea who the fuck added truth serum to the coffee. grumbling under his breath, he walks to the cafeteria and instantly thinks of going back when he notices you. he doesn't trust his mouth around you in usual days, but now that he drank a freaking truth serum he certainly needs to run-

'jihoon? what are you doing here so late?' you turn to him with a small smile and shit, running now would be too rude.

'i was checking few tracks,' jihoon says. and then, because truth serum is impossible to ignore, he comments: 'you look beautiful.'

your stunned expression makes him want to die. fuck, you two are not on a compliments basis, you two are barely on a colleagues basis fuck- 'like always,' he adds. 'i mean, you look beautiful. always.'

fucking hell he needs a mouth tape. you look very surprised but he can see it's a pleasant surprise by how your smile widens and cheeks grow rosy. 'oh. thank you. that's very, um. kind of you.' and then because you're an angel, you save him from awkward silence: 'i was actually going to ask you about the comments you gave on my report? i don't think i understand them fully, maybe if you have time now we can discuss it? i'm not sure what i did wrong-'

'nothing,' jihoon interrupts. truth serum is not letting him keep his mouth shut. 'everything was okay in that report, but i needed a reason to see you again so i added some unnecessary comments.'

jihoon is actually going to die. like, go throw himself out of the window. the last thing he wants is to confess his crush on you in this kind of way, totally unrehearsed, completely out of blue. you deserve better, you deserve flowers and nice restaurant and a romantic song-

'what?' you breathe out, confused. 'you- are you kidding? my work is.. a joke to you?'

'no!' jihoon almost shouts. 'no-no, of course not, i'm just a fucking idiot who can't behave like a normal person around you. i'm so gone for you, but i never know how to breach this gap between us cause you're you and i am me and i started writing a song for you, about you, and this stupid truth serum ruined everything-

'truth serum?' you interrupt and then your eyes widen. 'wait. so what you're saying is-'

'all true,' jihoon mumbles, finally taking a deep breath. 'all true.'

there are all kinds of confessions out there and jihoon never thought that this is how it's going to happen, but when you start asking more questions and he has no choice but to answer you honestly - he thinks maybe this version of confession is not the worst one. especially not when you smile and start teasing him, asking him questions like what he thinks of you and what he likes the most about you. 'date tomorrow?' jihoon asks because bravery is reserved for the desperate times.

you laugh. 'yeah, jihoon. date tomorrow.'

maybe there are some good things about truth serums.

a/n: this is the cutest concept i've written flkfngldkgdk, hopefully you liked it! - nini

request your own here

my other seventeen work is here

[bonebabbles]

TEQ: 11, 12, 13

Chapter 11,

Leafstar falls asleep during Kitescratch's vigil, in a way that suggests she was so tired she essentially passed out. Kite's mom, Reedclaw, has had enough of Leaf's inability to lead and calls the vote.

There's a bundle of fun little character moments. Ridgeglow tries to tell Birchfeather to vote to get rid of Leaf, but Hawkwing says no and Birch is VERY grateful. Medcats Fidgetflake and Frecklewish vote in lockstep. Fallowfern is the deciding vote and has to take a moment to figure out what the hell is going on because she can't hear.

Reedclaw's vote to oust Leafstar fails, but she vows that this isn't over.

Chapter 12,

Moonpaw's sinister voice is getting more malevolent.

It's agreed she can come to the Moonpool to figure out if she's capable of having visions or not. I like the way that Alder and Jay are giving her lots of chances to try out the duties before actively committing to it, I'd like to think it's because both of them had been forced into the role the moment they had difficulties as a warrior. They don't want that forced on her in a similar way.

She sees her dead sister in her reflection again, giving her an evil look, and tries to swat the water. SPLASH! INTO THE DRINK WITH YE!

Alder and Jay decide this counts as a vision.

Jayfeather: "Next time, do not try to attack your visions. This is not BB, you can't just do that, and even if it WAS BB only I'm cool enough to do that."

Moonpaw: "please. Bones doesn't even rewrite arcs until they're done"

As Moonpaw tries to fall asleep, the voice in her head calls her cringe and tells her to quit being a doctor. Moonpaw tells her to shut up because she's the one fronting. "BET!" the voice laughs maniacally.

Chapter 13,

Tigerheartstar is REALLY snappish and controlling.

Puddleshine is telling the story of how Moonpaw got dunk tanked, to everyone's delight, and then the conversation gets grim as it turns to human activity. There's worry that the Moonpool will be destroyed or the Clans will be forced to do another Great Journey.

Tigerheartstar asserts that what happened in the old territory was different. If the Moonpool is destroyed they will find a new way to connect to StarClan. He then angrily shuts the conversation down.

Tawnypelt then decides to go visit Birchfeather, and asks his parents if they want her to relay any messages. Dovewing is visibly sad, and is about to say something when Tigerheartstar interrupts her and snaps that they're exercising "tough love" and won't be acknowledging him until he comes home.

Jeez. THAT feels odd for him. It's going beyond "acting understandably unreasonable out of hurt" and crossing over into active control tactics.

Anyway, Tawnypelt goes to see her grandbaby. He shares news that he hasn't had any trials because the Clan voted to depose Leafstar. When asked why, he shares the secondhand story of the badger attack, leaving out major details because he (admittedly) wasn't there. Tawny says that anyone could have mistaken a cat for a badger. tawny, no.

[moonlightpeddler]

Hiatus

The game is on indefinite hiatus.

Demo

[Current word count without code: 11465 with two branches]

Life is unpredictable.

You have just been to your first party, with hope for a different, better, and more social future, but instead of waking up with a hangover, you wake up 13 months of coma later, severely ill and with no chance to build the life you wanted to live.

Confined at home, confined to the night by your medication, deprived of outside contact to keep stress away from you, and with food that tastes like iron, all you have is your loving family and the small village they have moved to during your long sleep.

The house is old, dilapidated, the neighbours unfriendly and distant, looking at you with strange eyes, whispering whenever you see them, treating you like your illness is contagious.

But why has your family never taken you to the hospital for a checkup? Since when do hospital doctors make frequent home visits, and only when their patient isn’t conscious?

What would happen if you open the curtains they tell you to keep closed?

The game is intended for a mature audience.

Blood

Violence

Self-harm (for a reason)

Murder

Assault

Brainwashing

Dysfunctional relationships

Co-dependency

Death

And many more.

Depending on the route you take, Cailean, your character, can not be said to be an innocent or good person, please make sure that you are okay with playing a non-human MC who might act accordingly.

Mending Yesterday pairs folk believes, old elements, and lore from different media, with Vampyr lifestyle to create a modern portrayal of vampires that retains the classic feel yet gives it a more down-to-earth presentation.

You take the place of an established character and turn the tale into your very own, form the adventure and how the protagonist faces his new reality.

Will you change Cailean’s behaviour over the course of the story, develop a new personality for your new life, or will you cling to your old self despite the consequences it could have?

Will you keep to yourself and your loved ones, build something new to spend your long life, or get involved in a struggle that isn’t yours? How will others see you, who are your friends and foes? Do you stick to those who are seemingly safe, or will you place your own judgement?

The game doesn’t give you an overpowered protagonist, you aren’t the chosen one, won’t save the world or change it in any meaningful way.

You are just a 19-year-old young man being in the wrong place at the wrong time, all you can do is live your own life that, in the grand scheme of eternity, is nothing but a fleeting picture.

Taking place in a fictional village in Ireland, the game takes a step away from the Urban-Vampire trope and focuses on dynamics commonly found in, very, rural places.

While I have abstained from using phonetics to make it easier for people not familiar with the country, selected sayings and use of words have been kept to preserve the feeling.

Mending Yesterday is most and foremost a horror-drama, character-driven and story-heavy, not a dating game. The only romantic candidate (male) is a central character and the relationship with him greatly influences the plot instead of being flavour or a sidenote; you can stay distant, friendly, close or even loving, all four options significantly shape your personal story.

Being a family-person, you will have to keep an eye on your parents and brother, how you react to the changes in your life, respond to situations, and how you treat them has a direct impact on how your adventure will go.

A character and relationship focused narrative requires you to think twice about how you interact with others, pay attention not only to yourself but those you meet, decide wisely about how to treat them and with whom you want to be close with.

There are relationship-stats you can and should check regularly, for they keep track not only of your bonds but could give you valuable information, yet they won’t ever tell you clearly what they mean.

Just like in real life, people aren’t open books.

Every choice you have to make is meaningful, it either changes or determines something important; you won’t be continuously prompted to make decisions. The game doesn’t bother with flavour.

Routes are roughly equally long, with several endings dedicated players can try to find.

Prologue

Cailean Morrison, whose place you take, is a 19-year-old geriatric-psychology freshman. Calm, quiet, and slightly distant, he was never good at making connections and even worse at maintaining them. He loves his family above all else, has a good heart, and is very fond of older folks.

James Morrison, Cailean’s father, 46 years old, family lawyer. He’s a sensible, somewhat emotional person, bad at dealing with negative experiences, and generally a kind soul.

Aileen Morrison, Cailean’s mother, 44 years old, elementary school teacher. While she loves her family and students, she can be very strict and vengeful, knows how to stay calm in difficult situations, and often keeps her emotions to herself.

Alfred Morrison, Cailean’s brother, 24 years old, investment banker. Although he was wild in his youth, he’s hardworking and cunning, and while usually perceived as friendly, he has well-hidden sharp edges and a ruthless nature.

Choices will determine which talent you are proficient in, while some increases might be obvious, others are hidden behind story-progression.

You can’t fail skill-checks, instead they will change the story depending either on which talent you are most versed in, or if you are generally lacking - and they might have an impact on how other characters feel about you.

The game is in active development. Planed additions include more visual elements, incidental music, and a compendium that tracks information the player has found (coming in the Chapter 1 update). As a solo dev who does everything by himself, music and visuals are not my priority and will be included only in major updates.

[sparkles-and-trash]

Second Chances, a Shouto and Touya fix-it one-shot ~

tags: healing todofam, todosibs, Shouto and Touya focused, some dabihawks and bktd in the time jump part

note: this ended up a lot longer than planned, and I even added a time jump for some dabihawks and tdbk in there hehe! And as usual I'm playing a little fast and loose with the ages of the Todoroki kids for plot purposes, so let's just go with it and have fun, yeah?

~ ao3 link ~

He got life as a gift for a second time.

That's what the doctors and nurses keeps telling him, at least.

But right now, Touya's not sure he agrees with them.

The sterile air in the hospital room makes his nose and mouth feel dry, his eyes feels tired of all the white; the white walls, floors, sheets, his white bandages.

But honestly, while his body is covered in bandages and skin grafts and the intense pain that flares through his very bones every time he takes a breath, he still thinks the worst part is the embarrassment.

Turns out nobody tells you how embarrassing it is to almost die.

The nurses treat him like he's some little baby, which he isn't, he's 13 and a half, and the doctors talk all over him.

Meanwhile his family is all being totally awkward and weird, even more so than before, which quite frankly is saying something.

All Touya wanted had been for his dad to see him, to listen and to give him a little attention; how stupid and unknowing he had been.

Now his father refuses to leave his side, always just sitting there, teary eyed and sad looking, which is ridiculous when Touya's not used to see him show any emotion besides anger.

At first he has tried to hold Touya's hand all the time, but Touya managed to put a stop to that sooner rather than later.

His mom is quiet, and she's usually smiling and telling him about her day and how the wildlife in their garden is doing, but Touya sees the sadness in her eyes, too.

No matter how much she tries to hide it.

Fuyumi and Natsuo clearly thinks the hospital is scary, and Fuyumi keeps berating him for hurting himself, but she also loves to whisper to him about how dad is different now, that he barley goes to work, and Natsuo said that he even tried to watch SpongeBob with them recently.

Touya would love to have witnessed that, but all he gets is weepy dad.

No fair.

The only one he hasn't seen yet is Shouto, and he understands why.

Touya is way too scary looking for a little kid like Shouto.

One of the changes Fuyumi and Natsuo mentioned is that dad is no longer super focused on training Shouto, and Touya thinks Shouto should be able to enjoy that without being traumatized by seeing his brother looking like a freaky mix of a mummy and Frankenstein's monster.

So no, Shouto had not come to visit, yet.

But apparently he's been asking about "Nii-San" all the time, and their mom is insisting that Shouto is ready, but Touya isn't so sure.

The next time his mom comes through the door to the room to his hospital room, she looks weirdly nervous, but she's also smiling.

Like she has a secret.

Touya's not a fan of secrets.

She sits down next to him carefully, and when he finally looks at her properly, she puts her hand on his.

"Someone's here to see you, today," she says softly, and Touya sighs.

"Is it dad?" he asks in his new, creaky voice.

"Is he crying?"

Touya swears his mom hides a smile behind her hand.

"No dear, your father is home with your brother and sister," she informs him, and Touya nods.

"Good."

Rei tilts her head.

"Your little brother really worries for you, Touya," she says softly, and Touya has a feeling she's not talking about Natsuo.

"Probably because you guys are making such a fuss," Touya mumbles grumpily, before he adds.

"And dad crying all the time."

Rei actually fully smiles this time.

"That might be, but he refused to let me leave without him today, so he's sitting outside in the waiting room as we speak," she tells him, and Touya's heart starts speeding up.

"You let him come?!" he asks, and Rei sighs.

"Like I told you, he refused to let me leave," she says.

"I think that was the first temper tantrum he's thrown in his whole little life, actually."

Touya's eyes widens.

"He did?" he asks, only half believing her.

"He did," Rei confirms, before she continues.

"He's also refusing to see you with me in the room, so I'm gonna go outside and send him in now."

Touya doesn't protest, but he can't meet her eyes.

"It's time, baby," Rei says softly as she strokes his cheek, before she gently tilts his face so he has to face her.

"And be kind to your brother."

Touya nods.

He doesn't have enough energy to put up a fight.

His mom gets up to leave, and Touya keeps looking out the window, trying to show how disinterested he is.

The door closes, and he hears two quiet voices outside for a bit, before a tentative knock hits his door.

Touya sighs heavily.

"Come in, Shouto," he calls out as loud as his fried vocal cords will let him.

The door creaks open, and the sound of little footsteps comes closer towards his bed.

Touya really doesn't want to turn around and face his little brother.

What if he scares him?

With his burned face and bandaged body, with his new voice and his pale face, those parts that aren't burned at least.

Turns out Touya doesn't have to turn around, because Shouto's already made that choice for him by walking all the way around the bed.

Suddenly Shouto is standing right in front of him, his mis-matched eyes staring straight into Touya's, and for a few seconds his expression is unreadable.

Touya's heart is beating so fast and hard he worries it'll alert the nurses.

Then, as if someone pulled away curtains on a sunny day, Shouto's face lights up with pure joy and relief.

"Nii-San!" he squeals, and clumsily tries to climb up into Touya's bed.

Touya just stares, trying to figure out if this is real.

Shouto finally clambers up into the bed, and he gently reaches out to put his hand on Touya's cheek.

Exactly like their mom.

"Nii-San, does it hurt?" he asks quietly, and Touya blinks down at him.

Then he nods.

"Yes, it does," he says carefully, and if Shouto is scared of his voice, he doesn't show it.

Shouto's face falls a little, so Touya hurries to continue.

"But they give me great pain medication, and the doctors says my skin gr-"

Touya cuts himself off mid-sentence to not traumatize his almost-seven year old brother more than necessary.

"Uhm, my brand new skin is growing quick and it's strong!"

Shouto's eyes are huge, but not from fear, rather... awe?

"You're so strong, Touya-nii!" he exclaims eagerly, and Touya feels a blush creep up on his cheeks.

"I'm not..." he starts, but once again cuts himself off.

No need to take his own self hatred out by airing it out to his baby brother.

"Well, thank, Shou," Touya says quietly as he gently ruffles the kid's two toned hair.

Shouto beams.

"When I grow up I wanna be like you," Shouto declares, and Touya's heart squeezes.

Had he always been this goddamn cute?!

Touya gives him a wry smile.

"Maybe a little less fried, tho, right?" he asks in a teasing tone, and Shouto giggles, before his face gets serious again.

"You were very hurt, Nii-san," he says in his serious little voice.

"Dad cried."

Touya sighs and rolls his eyes.

"Well, dad cries every time he's here now, so you don't get to complain!" Touya says, trying to lighten the mood.

Shouto doesn't smile.

"I was really scared, Touya-Nii," he whispers.

Touya averts his eyes.

"I'm sorry about that, Shou," he says quietly, and suddenly a small hand grabs Touya's.

"Just don't get hurt like that again, okay?" Shouto asks, and Touya looks back at him.

"I'll try my best," he says with a small smile.

Shouto shakes his head.

"Promise!" he insists.

Touya chuckles.

"Fine, I promise," he says and he ruffles Shouto's hair again.

"Promise."

-

At this point, a trip to the hospital is like a trip to the grocery store for Touya.

Even his family doesn't kick up much of a fuss for these smaller procedures anymore, which is quite nice honestly.

Especially now that he has a boyfriend that takes care of all that worrying for him.

This was the first time since he and Keigo got serious he had to go under anesthesia for a small procedure, and Keigo had not been coping too well.

He was pretty good at pretending to keep it cool, but Touya knew better, and it was obvious he'd been a nervous wreck.

Which is why he's rather surprised when the first person through his doors when he's come to after surgery isn't Keigo.

Touya should have known.

"Nii-San!" he exclaims as he hurries over to Touya's bedside.

Touya can't help but smile.

"Hi, Shou," he says tiredly, and Shouto sits down on his bedside.

Even now, 18 years old, interning as a Pro-Hero and with a steady boyfriend, Shouto still gets that look in his eyes sometimes.

The one he had when he told Touya that he wanted to be just like him when he grew up.

To be fair he wasn't doing half bad on the matter.

Shouto was interning at the same agency that Touya (and Keigo) currently worked at, and he was already taking an extra interest in rescue and first aid work.

Touya couldn't be prouder.

"So, why is your face the first I see, and not my doting boyfriend?" Touya asks dryly, and Shouto shrugs.

"Because I told him to wait outside," Shouto said simply.

Touya felt a headache coming on.

"Why?" he asks, and Shouto tilts his head.

"Because I'm the first one who sees you," Shouto says simply, and Touya rolls his eyes.

This kid.

"I hope you were nice to Keigo at least?" he asks, and Shouto nods.

"I'm always nice to Keigo, I like him a lot."

Touya feels a small smile tug on his lips.

"I'm not so sure about Kats, tho," Shouto adds thoughtfully.

Touya's smile drops.

"...please tell me you did not leave Keigo alone with Bakugo?" Touya asks, and Shouto blinks.

"Why would I tell you that?" Shouto asks genuinely.

Touya sighs heavily.

"Nevermind Shou, could you just tell Keigo that he can come in now?" he asks, and Shouto nods.

"Oh, sure," he agrees and gets up off the bedside.

Before he goes to save Touya's boyfriend and keep his own in check, he stops and gives Touya a genuine look.

"I'm glad you're okay, Nii-San," he says quietly, and Touya smiles.

"Well, I'm glad you cam to check on me, Shou," Touya says back, and Shouto beams.

"I'm planning on keeping it that way," Shouto informs him.

Touya chuckles.

"I'll tell Keigo," he says dryly, but Shouto nods serious.

"Yeah, you probably should."

Touya waits to roll his eyes until Shouto's turned around.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, Touya-Nii."

Touya huffs.

"Just get my boyfriend, you menace."

Shouto turns back to give him a final smile before he goes out the door, and as soon as the door opens the sound of Bakugo's voice hits them both, and Shouto suddenly seems in a bit more of a hurry.

"Yeah, hurry up you little weirdo," Touya mumbles as Shouto scatters off.

He's rather grateful he still has his biggest fan, after all.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey cas...........so this is super duper personal so you 1000% do not have to respond to this but um here you go:

i am 18, afab, transmasc transnonbinary and i have to go see a gynecologist bc my body isn't functioning correctly (i get my period for too long too frequently and lose a lot of blood). now i don't typically experience dysphoria about things like my period bc it's just something that happens and wtv, but lately idk if it's dysphoria or just general icky frustration bc my body is not regulating itself and i can't control it. anyway, the whole point of the ask was to ask you if you've been to a gyn and what are some things that helped you feel more comfortable about your body and things you can't control. (and if you don't want to answer any of it or some of it or wtv, i totally understand. this is a super invasive and personal ask and i just thank you for even reading it.

all that aside: i love all of your works, esp trans!regulus! thank you so much for being the aunt of the marauders fandom and just being an amazing person in general!!! sending you so much love to you and your family through the holidays!!!!

Hi!

I have been to a gynecologist, I go every year. I've actually been going since I was 13 because I have PCOS so I've had a lot of issues with my cycle (such fun).

I'm going to put a 'read more' here because I'm sure many people don't want to hear me go on about the OBGYN for ages lol

I think the first thing I'd suggest is to be picky, if you can. I know that's not always possible, depending on your country, insurance, etc, but if it's possible to look into the gyn's policies when it comes to LGBTQIA+ patients, first-time patients, etc and pick a doctor that is accepting in that way, it makes a huge difference.

Along with that, before you go to the appointment, research what to expect. Before my first appointment, I read about exactly what would happen. I wasn't thrilled about everything I read, but I wasn't surprised at all, which was very comforting. Knowing what is coming can also prepare you to know what to ask for. For example, if you don't like hearing certain words for certain body parts, you can ask the doctor to avoid using those words and instead use others.

At the appointment, it's very important to be honest about how you're feeling. The nice thing is, gynecologists have better bedside manner than the average doctor, because they work with pregnant people, so if you're honest about feeling uncomfortable, they'll be more likely to listen. Say how you're feeling, ask questions about what is happening, and as weird as it feels, be very honest. I have had some VERY weird conversations with my gynecologist and there has been no judgement. Trust me when I say they have seen and heard EVERYTHNG, so it is much better to be honest. Along with this, if the doctor is NOT helpful or kind at any point, remember that you STILL have the power to remove consent. You have control over your body. You can tell them to stop, ask for a different doctor, or decide to go to a completely different office. You can ask why something is necessary, or refuse a treatment even if the doctor tells you that you should not. You have control over your body.

After any sort of check-up, make sure to ask questions about the suggested treatment. Ask questions about things that matter to you. For me, I always ask about how new medications might affect my weight, my estrogen and testosterone levels (because I am nonbinary and I don't want my estrogen too high), my mood, and my blood sugar (I am diabetic).

Most importantly, remember that you are NOT a bother. Whatever questions you ask, whatever hesitations you voice, however many times you need to correct people on pronouns or anything like that, you are NOT a bother. This is your health and it is extremely important.

Two more things: if you feel like a doctor isn't listening to you, at any office, ask for the doctor to note their decision in your chart. A written note of their decision can often cause them to suddenly be willing to do more for you. And...how do I say this without saying it. If you need to get a physical exam from a gynecologist and you are worried about...sizes of devices used for the exam? Some gynecologists have a smaller version of the device that you can request. I hope that makes sense...

Good luck! And if you have specific questions about what an appointment is like, you're welcome to DM me! I'll let you know if the questions are too invasive.

[greetingfromthedead]

1. Death's Door

Series: Apple Blossoms Series Plot: Knives is finally crushed, his plans in ashes, his body at Death's door, but Vash decides to spare his life. With the last power he has left, he carries his brother to a person who has nursed him back to life, now begging for you to save his twin too. A tattered Knives finds himself in the care of a human and as time goes on, he has to come to terms with uncomfortable truths about his skewed world view and the strange feelings he discovers blooming in his chest for you. // Contains some Trimax spoilers. // A slight mix of all the Trigun iterations, but mostly Trimax Pairing: Knives x GN!Reader Series Rating: PG-13 + pwp BONUS chapters Series Tags (initial): No use of "Y/N", Redemption, Love, Romance, Sickfic, Medical Inaccuracies, Knives is injured, Caretaking, Falling In Love, Adventuring, Cowboy vibes, Knives is introverted, Knives has a crush and is very lost, Fluff, Reader-Insert, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Canon, No use of y/n, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Forced Proximity, Trauma, Knives pouts a lot Word count: 3.3k

Author's Note: It is not yet a fully fleshed out story, I have the first few chapters planned out, but keeping it going will depend partially of the interest shown for it and how things will work out. All in all, I would be grateful to hear your thoughts. What is something you would love to see in such a story, scenarios and dynamics you would like to explore. Perhaps I will adopt some of them.

Yapping | Next »

It has been many long months since the communications were cut off as the satellites fell from the sky as comets. Since then, the only source of information have been the criers, who travel from village to village, sharing news and stories. Sometimes you hear different stories from different mouths and really can never be sure what the truth is. Apparently, at least most of the Seven Cities have been decimated, and a giant ark is destroying everything in its path. The criers are warning people to seek shelter and prepare for the worst, but you still hold on to a sliver of hope. You've heard that Vash the Stampede is somehow involved in this whole mess. The man with a giant bounty on his head is rumored to be the Devil himself, the Humanoid Typhoon. Some sources say he is behind all of this; he is the one who is raining down destruction as he always does; others say he has stepped up as the protector of humanity on this desolate planet. And the truth remains a mystery, hidden behind the game of telephone and conflicting accounts. Deep down, you believe that he is on your side, fighting to keep humanity safe from the impending destruction.

You have met that strange man before. He arrived in your care with multiple gunshot wounds in the dead of night, or rather, you stumbled over his dying body in the dark desert. It had been nothing short of a miracle that he had evidently walked from the next town over towards your lonely house before collapsing. And it was even more of a coincidence that you found him at all. Vash the Stampede truly has the luck of a demon, or perhaps it was fate. Who's to say? But you did dragged him home, patched him up, and took care of him until he awoke from his week long slumber. He remained under your watchful eye for a bit longer, and as the closest thing to a doctor this area has, you felt it was your duty to make sure he fully recovered before letting him leave. You got to know him quite well during the time he spent at your house. You quickly realized who he was, but let him introduce himself. It became clear to you that the vicious rumors held little truth. He might be clumsy, but not evil. He was nothing but kind and grateful to you, helping you however he could and paying you for the time and medicine spent on him even as you tried to refuse. All that happened a few years ago, but his generosity and kindness still stick with you to this day. You still remember his smiling face as he turned to leave into the empty desert where you found him in the first place.

Nowadays, you live quietly in your lonely house. The closest village is half a day's ride away, and you rarely see anyone besides the occasional messenger passing through. The closest city is Octovern, but to reach that via tomas, it would take nearly half a week. You occasionally take your first aid kit and go through the nearby towns to help anyone in need, but you have been blessed to not be dragged into the larger war decimating the planet. You have been able to maintain a sense of peace and purpose amidst the chaos, but you can only hope things will return to a sense of normality soon, as much as that can be found in this place.

Little did you suspect of the evening where a loud and insistent banging on your door would shift your life entirely. A rap like that always means trouble, and instinctively, you hurried to open the old creaking door into the cooling evening air. The golden light of the setting suns tries to flood into your hallway, only to be obscured by a giant figure. It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to see more than just the silhouette, but still, the sight leaves you dumbfounded. Before you are two people, but they aren't entirely human as wings spread from their backs, not quite covered in feathers like an angel, partially reminding you of roots and stone, partially of shattering metal. Two wings, one on each of the bloody men. One holds the unconscious body of the other. He struggles to stay upright, one knee on the ground, the other supporting the limp form of the other as his singular arm wraps around the other's waist. The stump of his left arm has wires tangling from it, and it must have been what he used to knock on your door. It takes you too long to realize who that man is—Vash. His blonde hair is now entirely black, and his features are obscured by dirt and blood.

"Please. Help." He pleads with desperation in his eyes. "Can you save him?"

Your eyes shift to the man in his grasp. He is looking even rougher than Vash; his clothes seem burned and torn, and his skin is covered in blood and open wounds. His face is bruised and swollen. He hangs limply in Vash's embrace, his arms dangling lifelessly at his sides in an uncanny fashion. He's barely breathing, and it's clear that time is running out.

"Right!" You stir from your shock. "Let's get him inside!"

You push aside the weirdness and the unnatural aspects of the situation you find yourself in and slip back into the familiar feeling of urgency. You rush forward to put a shoulder under the unconscious man and lift him up with the help of Vash. You drag him not to the cot that's reserved for your patients, but instead you haul him onto the long dinner table that doubles as an examination table in a pinch. Your hands move on their own as they grab what you need: shears and cloths, first aid kits, bandages, medicine, water, and alcohol. You firmly tell Vash to sit down on the stool in the corner and not get in your way. You feel bad for being so stern with him, especially since he is injured too, but the man on the table is already playing dice with death.

You get to work quickly, knowing that every second counts. You remove the tattered clothing and assess the extent of his injuries. You're surprised he still has life left in him with the amount of blood he must have lost, chunks of his body apparently missing, gashes, and cracks covering his skin. You do as much as you can, focusing on the larger wounds first, knowing that time is of the essence in saving him. To your surprise, he doesn't bleed nearly as much as you think he should, given the severity of his situation. You roughly stitch him up and pull a few bullets from his flesh. His internal organs seem in good enough condition, and you're glad you don't have to operate on them further. As you work away, the wing on his back crumbles; the chunks feel strange, and you can't begin to guess the material, but you don't have a chance to analyze it either. By the time you are done, the wing is gone, leaving a chunky heap on the ground, almost like sand. You clean his body with water and alcohol before checking his skeleton and joints. There are no broken bones, but the right shoulder is dislocated. You take care to pull it back into place with a snap, and you continue to examine him. Much of his skin is cracked; it looks strange, and you can't begin to guess what caused it.

After hours of grueling work, you administer him medicine to hopefully avoid infection, another dose of strong painkillers, and some saline to help with his recovery. You lift his head carefully as you smear the gooey concoction on his gums for a longer lasting effect. To be doubly safe, you inject more drugs directly into his bloodstream and lather the wounds with ointment to help them heal. Wrapping him in bandages takes a lot from you too, especially since you can't accept Vash's offer to help since he is still dirty. By the end, your patient is almost entirely covered in bandages but still breathing. You throw a clean blanket over him and a pillow under his head, too worried to move him off the table onto the bed. It will have to wait, perhaps if he survives until dawn. But the chances of him making it through the night seem slim.

"Right." You let out a deep sigh. You can finally shift your attention from the dying man to Vash. You are deep into the night, pushing the morning hours, with dark circles forming under your eyes, but there is no rest for you yet. You turn towards the man in the chair; he looks like hell. You have never seen him look this bad before, and last time, he was the one whose life was dripping from his body on this table. Tears have carved deep lines into his dust, ash, and blood covered cheeks. There is an unusual mix of emotions on his face, but worry burns the brightest.

"It's your turn now," you say to Vash, catching his attention. His gaze lifts from the floor, and for a moment, it seems like he didn't hear you at all. You just continue, getting a washbasin, cloth and a jug of water ready. "You can use these to clean up; I'll help you with any spots you can't reach in a bit; I'll clean this mess up first."

"Will he survive? Will he be alright?" he asks instead, ignoring your comment completely.

"I do not know. I tried my best. The rest is up to him and fate itself. Whether he makes it or not is out of my hands." You look at him sympathetically. "Hopefully dawn will bring good news," you say softly.

As you pick up your bloody tools and cloths, you hear Vash stand up, but instead of walking towards the counter where the washing supplies are, his steps lead away, towards the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" you ask resolutely, a nip in your voice. He pauses in silence for a moment.

"I must go. I have some things to take care of still," he answers, a note of guilt present in his tone.

"You will clean up, have me patch you up, and take a nap before you can think about leaving. Doctor's orders!" Your words are commanding, leaving no room for argument. You're both tired; he looks awful, and you almost sway on your feet. But your work is not yet done.

Vash stands quietly for a moment longer before turning back and stripping a few layers of his tattered clothing. Exposing the bruises and wounds covering his body. He struggles a little with the setup at hand, using the reflection of your window to try and see where he has to reach. At the same time, you clean up the mess you made while working on your patient. You wipe the surfaces and wash the tools, and finally, you can discard the bloody robe, mask, and gloves.

You help Vash wash away the dirt from any spots he can't reach and have him sit on the chair in his underwear. You stick a cup of warm tea in his hand and down a strong coffee yourself before washing your face with cold water to wake up again. After that, you set everything up to stitch him back together and get to work. You examine him thoroughly and give him pain medication before getting the needle out. His body is tense and his pulse is still high; he has yet to calm down.

"Is he your brother? Even under all that bruising and swelling, I can tell the similarities." You speak softly to him to get his mind off the things that are hurting him at the moment.

"Yes, my twin," Vash replies, his voice hoarse and filled with pain.

"I didn't even know you had a twin. What's his name?" You continue as you tie together another suture.

"Knives."

"That's an interesting name," you say with little emotion in your tone, most of your attention going into taking care of his wounds. A stray thought of the wings crosses your mind; Vash has lost his too in the time your focus was on his brother. There is clearly something weird going on, but for now you are too tired to ask the relevant questions, and you need Vash to relax.

"I guess…" His voice trails off, and you can see him staring at the unconscious body on the table.

You keep talking as you work on him, stitching, disinfecting, and bandaging the larger cuts one by one. You give him a checkup and pain medication, and as you take his pulse, it is normal again. You are relieved; he seems to be stable and doing alright despite the way he looks. You provide him with some loose clothing you have laying around just in case and make him get in the bed you have in the other room to rest and recover for the night. He is hesitant, but the tiredness in his eyes tells you that he needs the rest.

"I will stay up with your brother; I will check on him, and I promise I will wake you up if there are any issues. Sleep. You need it." You assure him as you throw a cooling blanket on him before turning off the light and leaving the room. "Rest easy; everything will be alright now."

You return to the patient on the table and check his vitals again. You take his pulse and check his light blue eyes. His breathing has returned to normal, and he looks to be doing better, but as you press your hand on his forehead, you feel the developing fever. You know that this could be a sign of infection, and it makes you slightly nervous. His jet black hair feels damp as your hand glides over it, and you notice that his skin is sticky to the touch. However, you try to remain calm and decide to check again soon and keep a close eye on him.

To keep yourself from falling asleep, you keep yourself busy with whatever tasks you find. You clean up your kitchen from everything, organize your cabinets, and even clean Vash's clothes and hang them to dry outside. Dawn comes, but nothing changes; the slight fever still lingers, and Vash is asleep. You mix up some sugar water and carefully drip a few drops into Knives's mouth. He swallows painfully, and you continue administering him the water for a few hours. You're losing the battle with your exhaustion, so you make yourself a cup of coffee again, letting it steep while checking on the wounds. They look good, and it almost appears like they've started to heal a little. You write it off as your own delusion. The rising suns cast their hot light on the desert, and Vash's clothes dry in no time. You pick them up and get to sewing the dark shirt and his pants; the red coat is mostly gone, burned, and torn.

You realize that it has been a while since your last meal, as you even missed yesterday's dinner. You get to cooking up some porridge after leaving Vash's clothes in the other room and making sure from afar that he is still breathing. Every quarter hour, you return to the man on the table, check on him, and give him some water and medicine if necessary. Nothing has changed, neither for the better nor for the worse, and you are grateful for that, counting your blessings as you remind yourself of the condition he arrived in.

Another hour passes as Vash appears in the door-frame, his eyes first falling on his brother before moving to you. He looks better; he is still covered in bandages and bruises, but the wary tiredness is gone from his eyes. He wears the clothes you mended for him, and his expression softens as he takes in the sight of you checking the pulse of your patient.

"Good morning," you tell him with a slight smile. "I made some food, but it's probably cold by now. Feel free to take as much as you want. Your brother is doing alright; he has a slight fever, but it hasn't gotten worse. The wounds look good, and I've given him water and medicine. For now, it's okay; he is not out of the woods, but he's getting there."

"Morning," Vash says as he walks closer to you. He doesn't say much; there is an unexplainable expression on his face as he pulls you into a one armed yet crushing bear hug. You feel his breathing get more ragged as he holds you; he repeats seemingly endless "thank you"s until you feel tears soaking your shirt. He finally lets you go, holding your shoulder and looking you in the eyes, tears and snot running down his face.

"You're welcome, but don't get too carried away, okay? I cannot promise you anything other than that I will try to get him back to full health; it doesn't mean it will happen." You try to calm him down again, reaching for a tissue to hand him. "Now eat; I will check your wounds again after that."

And so it goes. Vash eats his fill, dragging his chair a bit closer to the table but not quite next to it, as you gave him a stern look, worried for any contamination. He finishes his meal quickly, eager to have his wounds checked, as if he is in a hurry. Luckily, they look fine, and you lather him in ointment and cover everything with fresh bandages, relieved that he is okay.

"You said you had some business to attend to. Is that why you are vibrating on this chair?" You ask calmly, checking the strange cracks in his skin on his cheek.

"Well, I have to go. I promise I will be back as soon as I can—just a few days at most. I am sorry to just dump him on you, but I beg you. I only go to keep both of you safe." His sky blue eyes try to track your movement the best they can as you put a bandage on him.

"It's alright; I'll take care of him. I doubt he will regain consciousness anytime soon. I can only hope he won't get worse." You take a step back, happy with your handiwork, as nothing is bleeding. It's the best you can do for Vash right now.

"I will forever be in your debt. Thank you for everything. I will pay you once I get back, I swear." His eyes look pleadingly at you as he gets up from the chair.

"I believe you; don't worry about that." You smile, recognizing the honor in his face.

Vash gives you a nod and goes closer to his brother. He says something quietly to him, and you don't quite pick up any of the words. With that, Vash turns and walks to the front door, and you follow.

"Thank you again," he says to you tenderly, and then more loudly over the whole house: "Get better soon, brother!"

You watch as Vash steps outside, heading into the desert. Only a little while later, you figure out he has nothing with him but the clothes on his back and the gun on his leg. No water, no food, no shelter—nothing. You turn and see what's left of the red coat on the chair, now realizing you must really be out of it to not notice it sooner. But it's too late to go after him now; all you can do is hope that he has a plan.

Yapping | Next »

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[anotherwatchedninja]

I feel like people forget Time Lords are the same person across every incarnation.

like, ‘14’ even says that it’s not dying. Same memories, same thoughts about people, sometimes expressing something they can’t, not being able to say something they used to.

Think back to you 10 years ago.

You're probably a very different person now compared to then, but you're also not at the same time.

You probably talk differently now, you see the world differently, you might believe different things.

When The Doctor regenerates, that's the level of change that is done but in a few seconds instead of a decade.

Fundamentally you’re still the same person, and you’ve probably retained most of your core beliefs and interests, but you’ve also grown and learnt more about the world; altering many of your less integral values, and even possibly some of you more integral ones.

you could attribute it to a line from one of the novelisations, where the doctor attributes his lack of control over regeneration (and as we can imply, how bad of a post-regen situation he has) is because he didn’t pay enough attention in regeneration lessons.

I think for the Doctor it's like if you woke up and were suddenly 8 again, with all your 8-year-old impulses and personality and likes/dislikes, but your current memories.

The Doctor is always the Doctor. There's no "2nd Doctor" or "10th Doctor" or "14th Doctor." they're all the same person. Just because someone gets clobbered on the head and wakes up from the resulting brain damage knowing fluent German doesn't mean they disappeared and a new person took their place. His brain gets a shake-up, and his appearance changes, but it's still the same person all together.

I think all the media hype about the actors playing the role, and this weird regeneration for the 60th, kind of make it hard to remember that. For the Doctor, it's one continuous line of consciousness. 10 didn't die and wake up again with 13's memories, because there is no 10, there is no 13, there is only The Doctor. We number their faces but they're one person.

And it's confirmed by what he said immediately after the regeneration. He didn't say, "I'm alive!" or "How did I get here?" or something along those lines. He said, "I know these teeth." He realises that he's reverted to an earlier form, but he hasn't forgotten the intervening forms.

It seems to change not just from writer to writer, but Doctor to Doctor. 9 didn't seem to think of his 'death' as the end by any stretch. 10 considered them different people that shared memories, while 11 seemed to see more continuity and connection from incarnation to incarnation. 12 similarly was refusing to regenerate because he wanted to end it, a pointless position unless he saw 'the next Doctor' as still being him. 13 seemed to lean more towards the individual incarnation view, as she felt in necessary to say goodbye to Yaz.

And this is just the Doctor, a single Time Lord. We've seen extremes from literal dissociation from incarnation to incarnation with the One through Union (aka the collective, but that’s due to their condition), to Romana trying on new faces line a human would a new outfit, or how the monk tries to act like their past selves are different people to shift the blame and get away free from the consequences, or how six was post-regen

I just really don't like the idea of them being separate people, which unfortunately does seem to be RTD's interpretation from 10's line of regeneration feeling like dying, and a new man sauntering away. To me that devalues the idea of the Doctor being the same person from 1963 until today. They're the same person, who have been through the events of every single episode, and remember them and all the companions there travelled with.

If they were different people, them meeting former companions just doesn't have the same weight either. 10 for example becomes someone who just knows of Sarah Jane instead of being the same person who travelled with her.

But that doesn't mean it can't still be confusing when an old face returns. It's something that's never happened to the Doctor before, and perhaps it's something that he's never heard of happening to other Timelords either. So when it does happen he's very confused because he immediately knows who this new version of himself is, instead of having to go through the usual self discovery at the start of each incarnation.

I remember from an audio story (I think Sirens of Time), one of the Doctors (i say DOCTORS because time travel) said something along the lines of this: Take every trait of their personality is like a bar graph. Kindness, courage, alienness, anger threshold, etc. each have their own bar on the graph. Each regeneration is essentially the same personality but the bars could be altered with some traits more emphasized in a new face than the previous one.

Some examples of what I mean.

10 and 11 are examples of the alienness trait being skewed in opposite directions, where I feel Smith is more alien-like in his physical behavior than Tennant is. 12 and 13 still have this trait but it’s viewed more subtly through social interactions.

6 and 12 were less on the kindness scale but increased over time. 10, 11, and 13 seemed to have that kindness trait more emphasized.

Anger threshold /emotional control can get thrown multiple ways if a respective Doctor is impulsive and expressive vs bottling it up and letting it simmer. I feel like there are many examples to pull from off this alone.

There could be more obvious ones I’m missing but these spring to mind. I do like this interpretation since it lets you know it’s the same person but just aspects can be more emphasized than others across their different incarnations.

I like to think it’s just the same person at different points in their life - hell, we aren’t the same person at 18 that we are in our 30’s, or even the same person we are in our 40’s that we were at 30.

Life changes you, sometimes you’re goofy, sometimes you’re callow, and sometimes you’re stern. In DW terminology: you’re a quirky thief, then a person who has to kill everything they know, and then you become a person capable of finding some solace in life… then to a whole new person.

From the doctor’s point of view I believe they think they are the same person, they don’t differentiate between selves. Think of 12 near his start when 11 phoned Clara, he says he didn’t need to eavesdrop because it was him talking and that she looks at him but can’t see him.

Now this doesn’t mean the doctor doesn’t remember the traits each regeneration has, and this can manifest in their subconscious as talking to their different regenerations; but that’s no different than you talking to yourself in your head.

like, it’s even implied 14 will eventually become 15

[picnokinesis]

plottier / character focused thirteenth doctor fic recs

Ipseity by WalkerLister (43k, 10 chapters, gen) summary: Eight months since the Doctor sacrificed herself on Gallifrey, and Yasmin Khan is still struggling to move on. However, when she comes across a familiar face who is not acting like herself, Yaz may finally get the answers she has been looking for surrounding the Doctor. However, those answers will be revealed in a way a bit more dangerous than she had been anticipating. //Okay, so no one is surprised that I like the amnesiac!divisioned!13 fic, but in my defence, it's absolutely fabulous. This one was written waaaaay back in mid-2020, so we all knew that 13 was in prison and everyone was pretty sure that Jack was coming back due to some bts detective work, but that was about it - so, for obvious reasons, it doesn't align with ROTD, but it's such a fun one, guys, I love it a lot. Also, y'know, thirteen in a leather jacket and snarling at people? What more could you want?

don't have to make it to the moon by Ymae (28k, 7 chapters, gen/thoschei) summary: After New Year's, Ryan decides to stay traveling in the TARDIS for another little while. Only, the Doctor's rarely alright, and between experiencing the wonders of the universe, Ryan wants to figure out what's happening to his friend, too. //I love Ryan so much. He's such a wonderful character and I always love it when fics focus on him, or have him as the pov character. Unfortunately, fics like that are a bit few and far between, but this is one of them, and it's absolutely fantastic. It really delves into his character, but also his dynamic with the Doctor (especially after he talks to her in ROTD and she admits that she's scared and angry), and it's just auuuuuuugh so good!! And, it's also go some great whump and psychic content, with the Master showing up to cause trouble, alongside some gorgeous world-building, so I enjoy it very very much.

Ghost War by riptheh (25k, 1 chapter, gen) summary: All the Doctor wants to do is pass the time, and help a friendly face. So when a young man with a strange tattoo and a psychic wound shows up, she dives right into the mystery - and finds herself flung far into the future, mindwiped and alone, fighting a war that by all rights, shouldn't exist at all. A war she could help end, if only she could figure out who she is. //Oof, this one. It's absolutely stunning. This author really has a way of taking some absolutely fascinating and mind-bending concepts and just running with it, and just nails it each time. I feel like the less I say about the plot of this one, the better, because it sort of unfolds as you go, but please just trust me when I say that it's absolutely fantastic.

Lifelines by Sue_Denham (40k, 11 chapters, gen, wip) summary: Lifeline: a thing on which someone or something depends, or which provides a means of escape from a difficult situation. Set just after the events of Spyfall, the Doctor has a few things to work through. //Okay this fic is one of my favourites that's been posting over the last year or so - it's a brilliant exploration of Graham and Thirteen, and how different races deal with loss, guilt and death. I honestly think the best kind of sci fi takes concepts that we sort of take for granted, and then shows them in a completely new light. That's what this fic does. Also, Graham is just wonderful for the entire thing - though, as a note, Yaz and Ryan do end up somewhat side-lined, so bear that in mind if you're particularly looking for fics about those two, but I forgive it because it's such a great look at Graham and the Doctor. It feels like a character focused tie-in novel, y'know? Also it's pretty angsty in places, naturally, but that's what I'm here for haha.

Disordered by Echo (44k, 7 chapters, jack/13) summary: Messing with memories is always a risky business. Messing with your own memories, now that's just asking for trouble. The Doctor is very good at asking for trouble. And Jack is very good at finding it. //Ohhhhh okay so. This has been one of my absolute favourite Doctor Who fics for a long while. Definitely the shippiest of this list, but it's so lovely and such an excellent look at the Doctor facing the consequences of trying to get back her Division memories in the aftermath of s12, as well as the relationship between the Doctor and Jack across multiple regenerations. It's just so so good, flowing smoothly from very angsty to very soft, and the Doctor and Jack's voices are just spot on (especially considering that we see different versions of the Doctor, this is a particularly impressive note). Highly recommend!

The Trial of the Doctor by wreckageofstars (20k, 5 chapters, gen/thasmin, wip) summary: Haven is a planet at the edge of time, on the brink of destruction. Ravaged by the Time Lords and a war that time forgot, its people are desperate for justice before it’s too late, and the Doctor might be the only being left in the universe who can provide it — because she was the one who started it. So why can't she remember doing it? //Okay okay so, this one has only recently started posting but I've known about it since about 2020 and ohhhhhhhhhhh my goodness, GUYS. If you're not following this one, you need to be. It's a mix between Doctor Who at it's finest, Kafka at it's most unsettling, and Douglas Adams at it's most absurd, and it's delightful. There's so much in this one, and as always this author is just spot on with all the characterisation - especially Thirteen, who suddenly finds herself being prosecuted for a crime that she can't remember, and is forced into a situation where she's physically incapable of telling a lie. It. Is. Marvellous. Also there's a cockroach lawyer, whom I adore HAHA

lighthouse keeper by BlueLillyBlue (57k, 12 chapters, gen) summary: The Doctor is missing, and the fam is concerned. Featuring Yaz being a badass, Ryan being a cutie, Graham being a granddad, Jack being Jack, and the Doctor's complicated moral code. Also: space prisons, galactic war, the Doctor's time war trauma, the Doctor caring about people in her own weird and repressive way, and, most importantly, Thirteen wearing Jack's coat. //Oh, this one is such a favourite of mine. It's very angsty, so if that's not your schtick then - well, then you're kinda scuppered for all of my recs, to be honest, but this one is a bit on the dark side. Oh, but it's fantastic. Again, this one feels like a tie-in novel, and this author (as I think I've said before) is just incredible at crafting these very vivid worlds and really hard-hitting stories. The situation is pretty dire and desperate, and the Doctor is often faced with the fact that not every plan works out, and sometimes the only choices are bad ones. It's just really excellent guys (also! Thirteen in Jack's coat!!)

angel ellipsis by SleepyMaddy (36k, 8 chapters, gen/thoschei) summary: When the Doctor and Yaz find a planet in ruins, they’re only half surprised to discover the Master is responsible. But when his plan backfires, suddenly they have no choice but to work with him to stop his former allies from tearing the universe apart. It goes about as well as one might expect. //OKAY SO. This one is SO much fun and SO great - in particular, if you like the Master being a tricky bastard, but also getting screwed over by his own plans? You'll love this one. Everything about it is so vibrant and brilliant, and aaaaaahh man it all comes together in such a satisfying way. As with many of the authors on this list, this author just really gets these characters and how they tick, with some absolutely beautiful prose, and it's just such a joy to read.

nothing in the dark that isn't there in the light by river_of_words (6k, 1 chapter, thasmin) summary: Two weeks since Yaz got the most confusing rejection she ever hopes to get and the Doctor seems to have decided to blame Yaz for every single one of her furiously conflicting emotions. At this point she’s sort of asking to get hit. And at this point Yaz is sort of curious to find out what the Doctor is going to say that’s going to make her meet that request. //These next two fics are a lot shorter compared to the others, but I really wanted to include both of them because they're great and SO interesting to me. With this one, it digs into the Doctor and Yaz's relationship in the aftermath of LOTSD, and the ways that the Doctor does not actually talk about anything but does also tell Yaz more than anyone else. It's about the frustration that builds between them and the way that they're still finding more comfort in each other than anyone else. It's also a little feral, which as a thoschei shipper, definitely had a lot to do with why I liked this one haha. Anyway, it's really fantastic - really quick paced and emotional, and packing a LOT of punches with mostly dialogue in a very effective way. Go read it!

we'll do it right by daring_elm (3k, 1 chapter, gen) summary: She's never really noticed Yaz's perfume before. Shoulders relaxing, nausea subsiding, the Doctor inhales again, filling her lungs with jasmine and sandalwood, steel and glowing crystals and her box out of time. She can be back with Yaz within minutes of her leaving. She can save the child, change the foundation of Gallifrey and still return to have a picnic on Soria T4.  //Okay so I loooove love love this one because I just adore it any time someone explores the Doctor's reaction to the Timeless Child stuff after the fact, and this one is just so wonderful. The characterisation is just fantastic, and then just the progressive spiral of the plot as we follow the Doctor on a mission that is doomed to fail by the nature of her own timeline. It's about how by trying to change the past, all you do is mess up your present and your future, and I love that a lot. Augh, it's a gut punch and a half - highly recommended!

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Okay I was too tired last night for coherent thought but I’m now here with some assorted bullet points after watching dr who e6: Rogue

SPOILERS AHEAD

Overall I really enjoyed this episode! I thought the pacing was good, it was typical Doctor Who style and very enjoyable, I liked that we got time with both Ruby and the Doctor separately as well as together, I have a couple of thoughts but I just really want to say that overall I loved this episode

Theory based on the theory (I’m sorry I don’t know who first said it I’ve seen it a lot) that Devil’s Chord was moved: This was supposed to episode 2 - Flashback to Ruby’s mum when she ‘died’ that we didn’t get when died in Boom, one of her pieces of evidence that it was her was ‘we met space babies’ but no reference to other adventures, it would make the timing match up (she can’t remember whether it’s June or July back home), the stakes are less visibly high, other than Susan Twist there was no real reference to the overarching story arc (no snow, no One Who Waits, no pantheon references, etc) as is common with early episodes, we had more focus on the Doctor himself than we’ve really had so far and we actually got to understand, I felt at least, more about him as a character which again would usually be set up earlier on idk

Do you understand how relieved (and excited) I was when they started actually acknowledging Susan Twist, and of the same vein as I was when I saw the teaser for next week??? Absolutely buzzing, and also I was starting to think I was going mad looking for connections that didn’t exist so whooo

I thought Rogue was a really good character, I thought they were definitely trying to set something up for him to the Captain Jack archetype character (if that makes sense? I hope I’ve worded that right) and although I saw it coming for him to sacrifice himself for Ruby I don’t think that’s going to be the last of him - even if we see him at a different part of his timeline instead of his future. That could also be really interesting if the partner he lost was in fact in a romantic relationship with him and we have to see the Doctor contend with that, I can’t remember whether they stated the nature of their relationship or not but I don’t think they did so that could leave some options open to explore. I did feel that the Doctor and Rogue were a little bit rushed but overall really liked the set up of the relationship, I only found it slightly jarring when 13 was so broken up over the impossibility of letting herself fall in love with Yaz but I also think that different incarnations tend to approach their relationships differently so for me it wasn’t so much an issue as just a noticeable thing I guess

Speaking of noticeable things, IT WAS MODERN MUSIC??? I heard Bad Guy by Billie Eilish and Poker Face by Lady Gaga but there may have been others I didn’t recognise/pick up on. This was very very very suspicious to me, and other than a few episodes I haven’t watched Bridgerton but isn’t that what they do in Bridgerton??? Classical instrumentals of modern music??? Very suspicious

Also, the shapeshifters (chuldrur? Sorry I can’t remember it exactly) referred to themselves as cosplaying and that really caught me out I thought it was odd

I didn’t feel like the the rules of the trap were quite well established enough in that it wasn’t very clear to me how Rogue could so easily throw Ruby out of the trap when she couldn’t move; I assume it was because the capacity remained at 6 but idk I just felt like we could have had a clearer understanding of how it worked for the purpose of that set up

Ruby’s pretence was interesting, it made me think of Clara in Deep Breath a little bit but because of the perspective the stakes felt quite different. I did think it was weird that everyone else stopped cosplaying for the wedding and she was just there looking like herself because it made her stick out and also if the wedding is their finale to the game why wouldn’t they want to be in character?

ALSO it once again all links back to story whenever we are with Ruby and I think that’s fascinating, especially as a character who has died and been brought back, ‘died’, or had her history changed and rewritten in almost every episode so far

On that point -> Dungeons and Dragons!! Effectively what the shapeshifters felt they were doing as their game, and such an interesting link when there are so many questions left unanswered about Rogue ooo I’m excited

Okay I may be back with more but I think that’s all for now, very excited for next week’s episode, thanks for reading my ramblings I hope they were at least vaguely interesting <3

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: สามเราต้องรอด / 3 Will Be Free.

3 Will Be Free is a 2019 bisexual Thai thriller about a complicated and extremely sexy trio on the run because they've been accused of some crimes they mildly to moderately very much did commit.

If you love an earnest and often frankly absurd revenge drama with smokin' hot people from across the gender spectrum who like to kiss other people from across the gender spectrum, then strap in, buddy, because this is just what a certain kind of doctor ordered. It's a blockbuster concept on a street-food budget. Its greatest joy is finding flimsy excuses to take off its male characters' shirts.

One of the best things the show has going for it is that it's a relatively quick bite -- ten fast-paced, 50-minute episodes, long enough to tell the story, but short enough that it doesn't overstay its welcome. If I've caught your attention, keep on reading for a somewhat brief five reasons you might have a good time here.

1. Hope you're horny...ish

I feel this is obvious but still worth saying: All three of the main characters are stupidly hot. They are, left to right in the photo below, a very tall bisexual boy, a fairly short ostensibly straight girl, and a regular-sized gay boy. Two of them are sex workers who know exactly how sexy they are, and the third is a complete virgin.

The tall boy is Neo, a sexy club dancer whose initial character brief was clearly "bisexual Magic Mike." The girl in the middle is Miw, a sexy club host who is a bitch and I love her so much. The gay boy in glasses is Shin, a sexy art weenie who has disappointed his mafioso father for many reasons (though being gay is not among them!).

And yes, they all hook up. I know sometimes with me, it's hard to tell because I talk about things like they're textually gay when they aren't actually, but these three hook up canonically, onscreen, and it's hot.

And yet -- and this is going to sound so weird, but go with me on it -- it's not very salacious, as horniness goes. Like, someone's pretty much always sitting there consumed by lust, but onscreen you don't get to see as much as a butt crack. It's kind of PG-13 horniness, perfect for people who are cool with the idea of sex, but not into seeing it. It's basically the radio edit of a much steamier show. You could have aired this on USA in the '90s, right after Silk Stalkings, and it would have fit right in. It's Kidz Bop Kinnporsche.

I should note that I don't think the show's choice of slightly coy tone is necessarily a good or a bad thing. It is, however, something you should know about before going in, in part because the promotional material definitely implies something far pornier than what you're actually going to get out of watching it. But if you like looking at sexy people and then having imagination adventures about the parts you didn't get to see, this is a can't-miss experience.

2. Mae, my beloved

Mae has done exactly one thing wrong in her life, and that is her hairstyle. Your face was not made for those bangs, baby, to say nothing of whatever you think you're doing with that little topknot. Grow those out, brush it all back, and it'll be perfect.

Mae has the most complex character arc of anyone in this series. When you meet her, she's a mild-mannered waitress saving up for bottom surgery and dating a kind and loving thug who's going to do one more job before he gets out of the thug game for good, so you know that's going to go real well for her.

I love that the show knows exactly how loveable she is. Two different hot guys fall for her, and you know exactly why!

3 Will Be Free has some incredible moments of tonal mismatch, where the fairly uncomplicated action narrative of the main getaway plot suddenly slips and reveals something almost profound. My wife made the very astute comment that whenever one of Mae's scenes starts, it's like the show has cut away from Fun Action Television Time! to a (slightly less bizarre) season of Fargo. The moments and conversations she has with her boys are intense and often heartbreaking, which is a big part of one of the unexpected features of the show...

3. When it's good it's weirdly great

It is at this point I am going to talk about episode 5.

This episode kind of knocked me on my ass. It's almost like they ported it over from a different, better show. It slows down and does some backstory for Neo and Shin, which means that we get a long stretch where no one is shooting or fleeing or doing crime. It's just two people getting their footing around one another while posing nude for an art class, semi-crashing a bachelorette party, running into old flames at a restaurant, and playing badminton.

And it is the episode that, hands-down, gets the best acting out of those two goobers.

They are not bad actors! They are actually quite good at their craft! I've never seen them in anything else, but people who have seem to enjoy their work! It's just that this drama is, by and large ... well, I'm not going to call it badly written, especially since I'm consuming it via somewhat roughly translated subtitles, which puts me in no place to judge. It's just not especially meaty, as far as the material goes. It's mostly lot of panic! and bad feelings! and misunderstandings! that add up to some artificially melodramatic moments.

Here, though, the drama demonstrates its ability to build some great dynamics between its characters, not just for a single scene, but for a whole episode. The boys get some room to just roll around in their characters, and I more than slightly suspect they got a chance to do some ad-libbing too. Nothing even really happens in the episode! And yet it makes you feel like everything that does happen matters.

When I got to this episode, my ears perked up! I was like, wait, is this show going to be Actually Good from now on? Am I going to have to start taking this junk-food series seriously? ...Well, no. As soon as this episode was over, the show settled back into what it had been before -- which, I hope I've made clear, is a whole lot of fun! But high-quality television, it ain't.

I joked at first that this episode must have been done by the second unit. But no, what I suspect actually happened is that this episode is much more the director's real speed. That'd also explain why all the quiet, tense moments with Mae are so good! This drama is an action series made by someone who comes across as way more comfortable setting the camera down and letting two people talk.

Or, you know, make eyes at one another from across the room.

You could probably just watch episode 5 by itself. Minus some foreknowledge you need from the main story, this episode would actually stand pretty well on its own as a little oneshot BL piece. But if you did that, of course, you'd miss...

4. My Little Miw Miw

Shout out to the beautiful and incredibly named Mild Lapassalan Jiravechsoontornkul for hands-down being the best actor in the whole cast.

...Which, unfortunately, is a bit of damning by faint praise, considering a lot of the cast sounds like they learned to act from a career of being side characters in gay porn. So let me be clear: She does a fantasic job, and in doing so, she makes Miw a real, solid, loveable character -- and that's important, because Miw is kind of the glue that holds the whole series together.

Having a character who's a bitch is tough! You have to write her so she inhabits a space between so bitchy that you actually find her offputting and so toothless that she's not fun anymore. Miw is just right in that sweet spot where she's definitely cruel, but you can also tell that being recreationally mean is just her home language. A lot of the time when she's around her boys, it's kind of that drag-queen mean, the verbal equivalent of slapping someone's ass hard enough to sting. Neo knows exactly what this is like, so he can have fun with it.

Shin does not, though, which makes his and Miw's relationship fascinating. He does not have any natural immunity to play-fighting, so he reads it all as real fighting. She's ready for them to wrestle and chomp one another on their way to friendship, while he's certain that this means she hates him forever. This is the leg of the OT3 triangle that is the weakest -- something the show acknowledges in so many words -- but it's still absolutely necessary.

Miw is frankly inspirational. She has been kicked in the teeth by life so many times, and yet she's still going. She's got that perfect cockroach motherfucker vibe, the kind that lets you know the girl has Seen Some Shit. But she has put on her big-girl panties and decided to just fucking deal with it, like the legend she is.

I suppose I'm especially grateful for Miw because of the number of trio-based things I've seen where there are two fully fleshed-out male characters who have rich internal lives and reasons for what they do, and then there's The Girl. Even if The Girl is cool in theory, in practice she's at best an accessory to the men's stories. You could replace her with a sexy lamp that said sassy things occasionally, and mostly you wouldn't notice the difference.

Neither, though, is Miw some superhuman Strong Female Character whose job is to be smarter and stronger than the boys at things (until, of course, the boys become smarter and stronger than she is). She's as out of her depth as Shin and Neo are. She does not have some special training. She just knows that she wants to survive, and she's willing to do whatever is necessary. She's done it before.

She's also just stupidly gorgeous. What a babe.

5. Diversity Win! This Local Mafia Kingpin Supports the LGBTQ+ Community!

One of the things that weirdly warmed my heart about the show was how it never went for homophobia or transphobia as a cheap villain characteristic. It would've been easy to jump to making the bad guys extra-nasty about the queer and trans characters, and that's never what happens.

This is perhaps most prominent in the case of Mafia Dad, Shin's father. He's the major antagonist of the series and an objectively bad father in many respects, but he completely absorbs the idea that his son is gay without blinking. He's even weirdly supportive!

There is a point near the end where someone says, almost verbatim, '[character] is at the transgender clinic with his transgender girlfriend!' and Mafia Dad's reponse is, 'Oh, so he's trying to live a normal life now, huh?' And we just cracked up, because, yeah, to this show? Normal life.

It's not a world where homophobia and transphobia don't exist. The show acknowledges that legal and medical things can be rough for gay and trans people, and there are of course a couple outright jerkfaces here and there. But on the whole, the main conflicts in the show are fairly agnostic on categories of gender and sexuality. Sleeping with the wrong person gets you in trouble no matter what your genital situations are!

It's a great example, too, of how the answer to bad representation is more representation. Neo has two trans/gender non-conforming neighbors (pictured above) who are there as sexualized fujoshi comic relief. If they were all the trans representation you got, then yeah, that might not be great. But they're two of several! So because they're not bearing the burden of being the show's entire commentary on trans existence, they're allowed to live the truth that trans people can be just as annoying as cis people are.

This is not to say that the show is a perfect queer utopian fantasy. It's more than a little hung up on cishet ideals. For all it tries to be very LOVE IS LOVE! about things, it can't quite escape an understanding of the world that will allow queer and genderqueer variations on bodies and relationships, but only so far as they mimic and do not challenge the supremacy of cisheteronormative standards. The director is openly gay and makes other gay media, but even that's sometimes not enough to break out of the tyranny of "normal."

It's also not a perfect polyamorous utopian fantasy either. The ending takes a kind of hard left into pushing pair-bonded relationships the true ideal happily ever after. How you feel about this is going to depend a lot on how you feel about a certain character who gets introduced in the back half of the show. It doesn't sink the OT3 ship by any means, so you don't have to worry. But it does get in the way of it, and that's all I'm going to say about that.

If that's all going to frustrate you, then yeah, that's going to frustrate you. (It did me!) But if you can roll with the fact that it's trying (and it is!), you can be charmed by how it's getting there. (Also me!)

Ready to jump in?

This YouTube playlist has you covered! All of the episodes are broken into four parts each based on commercial breaks, which comes in handy if you ever don't have time to sit through a full episode.

You may notice the playlist is longer than what's needed to cover a mere ten episodes. That's because the last hundred videos on the playlist are clips, trailers, and reaction videos -- so if you want to get an even better sense of what the show is like, well, there you go! Beware of spoilers, of course, both in the clips and in the thumbnails.

I will be the first to admit that I am probably cutting this show a lot of slack because I am starved for actual onscreen ongoing bisexual representation, where it's not just a boy who makes out with a few girls, then falls for another boy and never goes un-gay. Is it my ideal bisexual polyamorous love story? Oh, heavens no. But it's what we've got, and what we've got is fortunately pretty darn fun.

They're free now!

[thenanbakacorner]

I don’t know if requests are still open I’m so glad to see your back and writing i believe I saw request open but if I missed the window I’m sorry to bother you. I was wondering if I could request how would the boys in cell 13 react to finding out their s/o who’s also their cellmate has a chronic illness (like endometriosis or POTs) nothing life threatening but they have to get surgeries very often due to those conditions.

(I just had my 4th surgery in 3 years and unfortunately my doctor isn’t sure if I’ll need another one)

Yep they're open, no worries!!

As for the request, aughh my hearttt, the angst potential is so realll. Went with endometriosis for the S/O's illness. Never heard of it till now so hopefully I wrote for it okay!!

I wish you nothing but the best of luck, I'm so sorry to hear about the surgeries!! (｡•́︿•̀｡)

* * *

🔓 Jyugo 🔓

Jyugo had a feeling there was something off with his S/O by the way they seemed to be in pain quite often, and it worried him to no end

Then he hears that they need a surgery and he's terrified, asking them what it's for and what's wrong

His S/O tells him they have endometriosis, explaining what it does and what the surgery fixes

Takes their hand and asks if there's anything he can do to help. It pains him seeing them in their own pain

While thankful for his offer, the S/O knows there's not really anything he can do to help per se other than being there for them for comfort and assistance when needed of it

Jyugo swears to always be there for them and do his best to keep them as comfortable and happy as he possibly can

🎲 Uno 🎲

Uno can tell something is ailing his S/O pretty quickly when he picks up on their pained cries from the bathroom and when moving the wrong way

Wastes no time asking what the matter is, if they need to go see Otogi, if they need anything..

When the S/O explains their illness to Uno, he's mortified. It does sound like it'd be beyond painful!

Then they explain that they need surgeries for it and he gives a soft frown, taking his S/O's hands and kissing the backs of them as he murmurs how sorry he is to hear about what they're going through

Assures his S/O that he'll do anything he can to be of help, even if it's just being by their side before or after surgeries to soothe their pain

Concerned boyfriend is concerned and will always be looking out for his S/O's wellbeing

🍩 Rock 🍩

When he first hears of his S/O's pain from the inside the restroom, he pulls them aside to ask them if they're alright no sooner they emerge

The noises of pain they were making were more than enough to leave him concerned for their health

As they explain their illness to him, his eyes meet their lower stomach, and he lets out small noises of understanding as they speak

Reaches out to cup their belly as if trying to magically heal their illness, his eyes soft as he lets out a small sigh and says how horrible it sounds

Then he hears of them requiring surgeries every so often to remove the growths and he's heartbroken, wrapping them into a warm and gentle hug

Promises to help any way he can and to never leave them to deal with the pain that comes from this terrible illness on their own

💊 Nico 💊

Nico just knows something is different about his S/O even before they started dating, but he never really pushed to figure it out

Then comes the day he hears of them needing a surgery, and he's a bit panicky as he asks them what it's for

Hearing that his S/O has a chronic illness hits far too close to home for Nico, being a whole library of a host of illnesses himself

Wraps them in a big hug and tries not to cry at the fact that he now knows what ails them, and how painful it is for them. Not to mention needing surgeries!

Apologizes profusely (Even though it isn't anything in his control) and swears to be as helpful as he can to keep them comfortable and happy

Insists on being by their side before and after any surgeries to come. Doesn't want to be apart from them when they're desperately in need of comfort

[yourlocalartsonist]

MFIP (and life) UPDATE✨✨

1/13/25 | Update 3 | Next Update | Last Update

Oh-ho-ho notice how I didn’t have “monthly” in the title this time~ Yeah, we’re not doing these that frequently anymore. I realized I have a lot going on, and MFIP doesn’t really have progress done every single month; I’m writing a fic, so it’s even harder to show progress without spoiling shit honestly, and I don’t make a new art piece every month. I’m still gonna be doing these updates, though! They’ll happen every 3-4 months—not including hiatuses—so I’ll actually have stuff to share with you guys and not have to worry about scraping for dimes.

Anywhizzle, today’s update is gonna be a long boi, and I wanted to just yap about what was going on this semester in general. I know I shouldn’t be feeling guilty for not working on the fic as much as I wanted to, but I still wanna give you guys an explanation as to why I randomly disappeared for a good few months. Unlike what I usually do however, Imma start with the life bullshit this time instead having it at the end. We’ll get to the actual progress update afterwards, and boy oh boy was progress made. So strap in for the ride folks!

Now Presenting: “What The Fuck Happened To You⁉️”

Okay, so, I’m a little bit of a dumbass—

Dudes if any of you are gonna start college or are currently in college, please think twice before making the same mistake as me. Last semester during the fall, my teeny tiny little apeshit brain thought it would be a good idea to enroll in six courses, four of which are online.

“I can handle it!” I thought, “How bad could it be~” And much like the Onceler, I got motherfucking humbled.

See, I dunno if it’s different anywhere else but for my college, online classes typically mean you get a fresh new load of work to do and hand in every week. Two of the classes my little Einstein heart enrolled for AS ELECTIVES were Criminal Justice and Creative Writing. Ya know! For fun! It’s not like I was enrolled in Calculus Level 2 and the Calc 2 Lab Class for my career requirements at the same time as those or anything—Oh, wait.

Anyways, me being the little genius I was thought that wasn’t enough, and enrolled in two more elective classes. To give myself some credit, one of those classes was Geography which would be a very easy grade. To immediately take that credit back, the other class was Physics: Energy and Environment literally because they wouldn’t let me enroll in an actual Physics class until the Spring semester and my moronic ass was impatient, so gave myself a supplement💀

As you can probably tell, I had massive regrets lmao. The workload was extremely hefty considering both Creative Writing and Criminal Justice had a LOT of reading and writing; both classes would have around 3-4 assignments due for each class at the end of the week. The Physics class took place hella late in the day twice a week, so I’d have to get all that work done before that class started ‘cause I’d be way too exhausted to do anything afterwards.

It was a living hell.

I was working on studying and homework almost every single day for hours on end. Being real with y’all, it added to a lot of stress and irritation, and admittedly a few breakdowns where I legitimately had to just cry to relieve the stress. It’s why I hope no poor soul bites off more than they can chew in a moment of overconfidence or just poor judgement the way I did ‘cause man that semester was so rough. I actually love college too, so getting me to dread it meant I def fucked up with choosing classes. Needless to say, I barely got to work on MFIP for four months. Progress was slow, if any at all.

I’ve talked about this before too, but my mom’s a breast cancer survivor and I’m an only child. Since my dad’s the sole breadwinner, I’m the only one who can take care of my mom. AKA on top of all the pressure from college, I had to manage doctor appointment after doctor appointment, and it only adds up to more chaos as more doctors have to get involved.

BUT HEY!

I got through it in the end! And without withdrawing from any of my classes or getting a low grade! So the torture is thankfully over and I now know to literally never do that again for as long as I live— Now that it’s winter break though… 👀

🎉CONTENT TIME BABYYYYYYY🎉

So the good news of all of this is once winter break hit I uhhhhh got silly.

DUDES you won’t believe the sheer level of fucking insanity that took place once I was finally able to finish this semester, go on break, and actually write. I uh…

I finished Chapter 10 in two days🦐

Yeah I uh finished the fucking chapter in two days I am not shitting you. My ass went on break, sat down, and accidentally finished this long ass chapter that’s above 11K words within two days. It’s even funnier because I was tweaking so badly to work on MFIP the entire semester that once I finally sat down, I figured out exactly what I want to happen all throughout the rest of the arc. To properly explain, Imma just say how I usually work on my chapters.

I don’t actually have an organized outline for MFIP! I have a Google Docs full of ideas and certain beats I know I want the story to hit, and I generally know in my head what’s gonna happen. The details are what I figure out as I go, it’s like improv but for writing. Why don’t I just make a proper outline for the story? Because my brain genuinely can’t work that way for MFIP🦐✨ I’m not sure why; it’s not like I suck at outlines or anything, but MFIP just gets overcomplicated when I try to make an outline for it. There are so many different threads all tying back to each other that the only way I can properly comprehend it is by trusting what’s in my head.

I’m not going into detail to avoid spoiling, but I know exactly what most of the story is gonna be. I have an endpoint in mind, albeit one that’s very far into the future.

I knew what was gonna happen in the end of Arc One all the way from when I started the first chapter. That’s why the entire arc is building up or spiraling down to the events of Chapter 14. The difference is, now know 90% of the details for each of the remaining chapters too! It basically means I’ll have a very smooth writing process ‘cause all I have to do for these final chapters is to write them.

I’ve completely finished Chapter 10 and am currently around 5K+ words into Chapter 11.

Once my team finishes editing it, it’ll be published here and on AO3 as usual. I’m anticipating for it to come out sometime in late February!

HOWEVER, THERE’S ✨MORE✨MOTHERFUCKERRR

💥ONESHOTS💥

THAT’S RIGHT! We’re getting canon Oneshots along with the chapters! I’ll be posting them in a specific order, but I’ll say between which chapters the Oneshot takes pace in the author’s note so y’all can keep track easier~

The Oneshots will vary in POV. Sometimes it’ll be Salena, sometimes someone else.

I’ll make it obvious which character it is if it’s a relevant character at all but I’ll also, once again, leave the info in the author’s notes! We’re not tryna recreate FNAF here-

They’re a cool way to show more content to the story that’s either too short to fit a chapter, or just not from Salena’s perspective. They don’t HAVE to be read in order to understand the story of MFIP, but they do add a lot more substance to the events that transpire. It’s like peeling back to see another layer and more context.

The first oneshot Dear Moon will release soon after this update!

It might even release the next day, honestly. I really can’t wait for you all to read them! I think they turned out really well ;w;

✨To Art, or Not To Art? That Is the Question✨

Yeah I’ve been a bit indecisive on the whole art in the Updates thing

I’m not gonna post any art for this Update bc it’s already getting like WAY too long, but I’m debating the whole thing altogether. I don’t really think it’s necessary, and I would much rather make art its own separate posts on Tumblr and yap about ‘em there. It’ll def take off the pressure of creating a new art piece to talk about considering this is a fanfic not a comic. Otherwise my ass was scavenging through procreate for art like a hyena scavenges for meat💀 I might try out showing off all the art I posted here and link to the posts where I yap about them.

It’ll be like a gallery for all the pieces made between the Updates~

I think it’ll be more fun to post stuff that way instead, and also reduce how much I procrastinate with these Updates—

And That’ll Be All Folks~!

I think that’s everything for this Update. You guys have no idea how happy I am to FINALLY be back😭

Classes start again for me in around a week, but I’ll probably still have time to create stuff so won’t need a full blown hiatus again. It’s gonna be a bit tricky since my classes are very math-heavy and intense this semester, but I tried being smarter about my schedule to not overwhelm myself.

So yeah, I’ll keep working on MFIP and posting whenever I can! I’m so excited to finish off Arc One of the story and finally get to the part I’ve been building up to for around two years now. Only five more chapters to go~!

Some last little reminders!

Dear Moon Oneshot will be out within this week

“Are You Free Tomorrow?” Oneshot will be out sometime in late February

MFIP Chapter 10 will be out on the soonest Friday within that same week of February

ROTTMNT: Moths Fly In Packs

[hiiragi7]

ignore this if it’s uncomfy to answer, but do you have any advice for someone getting tested for having possible ovotestes?

Hmm... Let's see.

Disclaimer that I was tested for ovotestes when I was a teenager and then didn't find out I actually had them until several years after surgical removal (I was more or less just told I had weird gonads that didn't function as expected and that I needed to remove them to continue HRT), so my experiences may differ from yours. I think the advice I give here should apply okay anyway, though.

Advice for the emotional side of it:

Take it slowly, breathe. You're still you, your body is still your body regardless of what gonads you might have in there. And also, even if the results come back negative, that doesn't invalidate any other intersex traits you may have or your life experiences up until now. A test is just a test. It doesn't define you, at most it might provide explanations.

Remember to take care of yourself, this is often a pretty emotionally and physically draining process and it can take a lot out of you. Even if you view your intersexuality as 100% positive, doing anything medical often is draining and time-consuming and ideally you should be giving yourself lots of space to recover from all of that work. Take breaks, engage with your hobbies, self-care, all that good stuff.

If possible, let someone else know about what's going on so you have somebody to talk to about it (both about positive and negative feelings, excitements and anxieties). If not, could always try to pick up journalling if you think it might be helpful.

If it's not too overwhelming, you could try surrounding yourself with support from others who have been in your shoes. Get to know other intersex folk in your community, or join one - InterACT has a discord server for youth ages 13-30 and InterConnect has both a Facebook group and a discord server for all ages. (Here is a link to the InterACT discord server and here is a link to InterConnect's join form. I also happen to moderate both discord servers if you're interested and need help with either of them.)

Advice for the medical side of it:

Ask lots of questions, really push them on answering.

Make sure you can see all of your medical documentation, ask to see photos from any scans or MRI they do, not just reports if possible.

If you get anything more invasive done (ex. biopsy, surgical removal), make sure to get as much detail as you can on what exactly is being done, what will happen if they find something unexpected during the procedure, what the purpose of the procedure is and what the pros and cons are. This won't guarantee the doctors won't lie or will honor all of your requests, but you should do it anyway.

Most importantly, frequently check in with yourself and make sure YOU are comfortable with all of this. Remember that unless there is a pressing health concern you do not need to rush into any of this and you can take your time to decide on what you want to do and you can decline to do tests or procedures you aren't okay with. This is YOUR BODY!

Adding onto that last point, some tests just aren't feasible for every person. For example, I've heard from a lot of intersex folks with vaginas that they either could not do transvaginal ultrasounds at all or it was very painful for them, and a lot of people have to skip that specific procedure. And that's fine! If there are any procedures you can't do, that's okay and it doesn't make you a "bad patient". Work with your body and express your needs to the medical team. If something hurts, say so!

I hope this helps, let me know if you have any other questions.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - March 9

@aamilahtahira, cis writer anon (new), @blueberry-b4gel, possibly aromantic anon (new)

@aamilahtahira

Hi so um I've been seeing someposts (haven't rlkybused tumblr alot haha) and I've saw you helping ppl out w their like sexuality and things? So I think I'm gay (this feels so crazy bc I have not spoken to this aby anyone??) but I'm muslim so it's like against my religion and sometimes I hate myself for it? Like I just don't want to be me and everything feels so heavy and I just can't stop crying and there's like something wrong w me like is this gid punishing me or am I just a trash person bc sometimes I get so aggressive and my friends just don't want to talk to me for a bit (and I totally get that since it's their right) but sometimes I just feel like I'm the only person in the world so I thought maybe writing this might help.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense I am severely sleep deprived (which is prob the only reason I'm writing this I am not usually this honest lmao)

Also feel free to just ignore whatever this is

Hi! You're definitely not a shit person and you're not alone. I've had other Muslim people write to me about this same exact thing. Honestly, I don't know a lot about the Muslim religion but I have to believe that if God is real, and he chooses how people are (gay, straight, etc), why would he make people in a way that he doesn't want?

I think you should try to find other Muslim people who are gay. They're out there, I promise, and there are plenty of Muslim people who practice the faith and are okay with being gay. See if you can talk to them about how they've been able to do both.

I promise you that you aren't wrong or broken. You're perfect just as you are <3

____

cis writer anon

Hii

I wanted to ask that if a non-trans person wrote a fic where a character is trans but hasn’t been able to transition, would that be okay? Solely because I know that not everyone has the means to change their appearance but they’re still just as valid and I wanted to represent that. Will do the proper research too in order not to hurt anyone but I’m not sure if anyone would be comfortable enough to read that, maybe it’ll be triggering?

I think as long as you do the proper research and tag appropriately, there's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure people will want to read it!

Just remember that some trans people choose not to do things like get surgery because they don't feel it's necessary. But you're right in saying that some want to do those things and cannot. Either way, I wouldn't say they 'haven't transitioned' because they still could have transitioned socially by dressing differently, using new pronouns, changing their name, etc. They just may not be taking hormones, getting surgery, etc.

__________

@blueberry-b4gel

hi! I just want to start off by saying how you are so amazing, and thank you so much for giving us advice!

so, I came out as trans ftm to my dad, and he doesn't believe me bc im too young apparently (13-15 age range). but we did come to a compromise where he'll call me KJ instead of my deadname.

but he won't use he/him pronouns for me, call me his son, etc

he is very liberal, anti trump and elon, etc. and he said he'd accept it if I came out as gay, but somehow, me being trans is too much for him.

and I just need advice on how I can explain the concept of being trans, dysphoria, and how much it would mean to me if he used he/him prns for me.

❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛

Well that's hypocritical of him.

Honestly, I would find some articles showing the negative effects of misgendering trans youth. Like the suicide rate of trans youth, the mental effects of dysphora, etc. Find articles that are from official sources, written by scientists and doctors. Adults like listening to other adults.

And I would also ask him why. Like let's say it is a phase (I'm not saying it actually is, but that's what he thinks, so if we go with his ideas), what's wrong with going with it and using the pronouns you want and the name you want, until the 'phase' is over? You're not asking for anything permanent. Like genuinely ask him who it's hurting.

If all else fails, you could start misgendering him, but that might land you in deep trouble lol.

_______

possibly aromantic anon

Hi im just gonna tell you because i would like to tell someone

So i know everybody thinks im gay because thats what ive told everybody, and like i dont think im lying really because i dont know the truth but i think im aromamtic. So theres that. Thats a thing but sometimes i feel like im not because i want a relationship. I read about it and see it and want it so bad.

Also i think im agender but i feel like im lying to myself when i say that. Like i dont mind any pronouns to be used for me. At all. And i think gender as a concept at least for me is stupid. Like, what does it matter? Again thats for me i completley understand for some people pronouns used are really important. I mean even though i dont mind i still remember the first time someone refered to me as they/them and how good it felt.

All this to say ik really fucking confused but at this kind of point where i honestly dont care anymore...? Lol like im gonna keep making gay jokes probably because for some reason lesbian gets less questions than aromantic. Seriously though why do people ask such weird questions as soon as they find out youre queer? I had a guy who didnt even know me ask if i felt horny around girls all the time?? Like wtf. Also like... straight girls talking about how easy it must be to be a lesbian. I thought that was fake for a while but no not at all

Anyways i hope you enjoyed my wierd ramblings. This was originally gonna be an ask for you to use he/him pronouns for me but as soon as i opened it i decided to vent lmao

Yeah I think people worry way too much about other peoples' labels. Labels can be important to people for themselves and that's fine, but who cares about other people? And you're right- sometimes the questions people as are so ridiculous and offensive.

Remember that it's okay not to know and it's okay to just not have a label. It's truly up to you and what you're comfortable with. There's no right or wrong and I don't think you're 'faking' anything. It's okay to take all the time you need to figure yourself out <3

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

Batman au but Thomas Wayne lives

Thomas lives, and well Bruce has his Uber traumatised ready to murder people father.

Thomas becomes Batman, his favourite weapon is the gun that killed his wife and a scalpel bc he’s poetic like that.

Bruce being literally 8-10 is like

“dad where are you going don’t leave me!”

He has like really bad attachment issues now.

“Son I have to avenge your mother”

“dad, what-what are you going to do? Can I come with you?”

“no you can’t”

Bruce follows along anyway sneaking out to find his dad, he watches him suit up in his Batman suit it looks scary as fuck but little Bruce keeps following

(Thomas doesn’t have like Uber amazing fighting skills he’s just strong and a doctor”

little Bruce keeps following along making sure he doesn’t lose his dad, until they come to a weird warehouse. It’s old rundown and looks abandoned, Thomas enters little Bruce is still scared but he can’t leave his dad.

Thomas enters the warehouse and pulls the gun from his holster. And starts staring at the man who killed his wife.

“You thought I wouldn’t come back for you huh? How does it feel to be in the same situation again?” Thomas says darkly and loud.

little Bruce is off to the side confused why his dad is doing this, and starts sneaking towards him.

“Man I- I- don’t know what you want! It was a hit! It was a hit!”

“You know what I want.. I want your blood spilled. But it won’t be quick no, it will hurt. It will hurt so badly you’d wish you were dead.”

“Please- ple- I will give you anything you want! Money! Bitches! Smokes! Whatever! Just leave me alone!”

little Bruce has snuck up and starts asking his dad what’s he’s doing?

“Dad! Wh- why are you threatening that man? You, you said all life was-was sacred! That’s not okay! You shouldn’t um kill people! You should turn him over to the police!”

“Bruce? What are you doing here?! You should be in bed!”

“Dad I can’t sleep. I don’t wanna lose you like mom”

Thomas stares at Bruce and back at the man who killed his wife, and he sighs.

“Okay Bruce, okay. Your lucky, your so lucky don’t you ever tell anyone you saw me or your life is as good as gone, trust me I follow through with my promises.”

“Yay! What do, we do now?”

“Well Bruce we are going to take this bastard to the police, and then we are going to have a LONG conversation about what you just did”

“Jesus what the fuck are you doing”

Thomas grabs a tranq and stabs it into the man.

“Okay dad!”

-

flash forward a couple years, Bruce is 12 and he is very very determined to follow his dad out on patrol.

he even made his own version of the bat suit with Alfred’s help!

he dubs himself “batboy”

and starts to follow his dad, his dad isn’t as stealthy as him he’s been practicing for a while now.

but he follows, his little black cape and gray and yellow suit modeled after his favourite show gray ghost, and a domino mask cover his face.

he can barely keep up with his dad but he does, following him through alleyways and up. Eventually he stops and he goes up to his dad to hug him.

“Bruce! What are you doing here?”

“No! Dad call me ‘batboy’ I thought that.. if I made a costume I could join you!”

Thomas stares at him, he looks adorable and so happy.

this isn’t the first time he’s done this and it won’t be the last, the kid sneaky and persistent this is the 4th time this week he’s snuck off to go find him.

maybe it won’t be so bad, but he just can’t fathom anything happening to Bruce.

“Okay ‘batboy’ you can only come on patrol when you finish your schoolwork and are able to fight. I know you will keep following me again and again but it’s just not safe, go home buddy, go home.”

Bruce sulks and heads home, but with a new goal. Learn how to fight! And finish all his school work, if he does it all he’ll be able to work with his dad so much faster!

so we have a training montage of Bruce being taught by Alfred and him getting self defence lessons and learning how to use different weapons and stuff.

by the time he’s 13 he’s completed all his schoolwork and has gotten into college, and learned a ton of different fighting styles and tactics.

he also started learning about forensics and criminal justice and sciences, his dad may be a doctor but he’s not really good with the whole forensics stuff.

he actually just passed it off to Bruce to Learn about, Bruce is estatic about being able to work with his dad.

eventually Bruce tries again and sneaks out to follow his dad, his dad is going to take down a mafia deal. And Bruce feels comfortable with going and helping his dad.

he arrived shortly after his dad and sneaked into the battle field he started running at a goon and thumped HARD against them. Whilst laughing and turning to face his dad.

“Hiya dad!”

“BATBOY WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”

“I finished my homework. And I know how to fight people now, I did everything you asked of me so why am I not allowed to help you?”

Bruce said while jumping onto someone and start punching their face.

“BATBOY I DONT WANT YOU HERE IT’S TOO DANGEROUS!”

“Dad, this is nothing this is a Tuesday for me!”

Thomas scowls, but let’s him continue to fight.

they quickly defeated the mafia and high-five!

“Maybe I was wrong batboy, maybe you can help me fight crime.. but there’s still more to learn, and I’d prefer if you stuck to your studies.”

“Aw, really wanted to help you dad!”

too be added idk, here you go please write more about them

[cecilysass]

Shine On (13/16)

Read on AO3 | Tagging @today-in-fic

Chapter 13: Revival

Farrs Corner, Virginia February 23, 2015 9:05 am

For fifteen minutes neither of them moves.

They sit on the floor soaked in their son’s blood, Mulder’s arm limply around her, staring at the boy’s body lying before them, still and unmoving.

*** She knows they should stand up. She knows this. They should make calls. They should clean up the glass from the shattered door and the broken coffee pot. They should take showers and prepare for the house to be a crime scene.

But she can’t. She can’t look away. With his eyes closed he looks so much younger. More like a little boy, and she never saw him as a little boy. The slope of his cheeks, the delicate thin skin of his eyelids: this is what remains of her baby, that baby she loved so much and expected to raise.

His lips are stained with blood, but they are round and perfect and look just like Mulder’s. Just exactly like Mulder’s.

***

After fifteen minutes she becomes dimly aware of the sound of footsteps on the porch through the jagged maw that was once the front door, and she knows she should be concerned. She should at least turn her head to Mulder and look at him. They should appropriately evaluate the situation.

But she doesn’t lift her eyes from Jackson. She can’t, yet.

She feels Mulder’s arm pulling away from her. He seems to be trying to get eyes on the person approaching the house.

“Hello?” he calls half-heartedly. His voice is weak, almost unrecognizable. It sounds like it belongs to an old man.

The creak of footsteps grows closer, and Scully has the thought that maybe someone has come back to finish the job, to kill her and Mulder. To make sure there are no witnesses after all, despite all the cryptic statements about flesh and blood and old allies.

She reaches out and tentatively touches some of Jackson’s soft dark brown hair, in a way she never did in his life.

Maybe I deserve to die. For failing to protect him.

The footsteps crackle over broken glass as whoever it is walks into the house, walking right up next to them. Scully bows her head, allowing some tears to drop onto Jackson’s mangled chest.

She closes her eyes now. Waiting. Preparing herself for whatever additional violence is about to come.

“You’re too late,” Mulder says dully to the stranger. “He’s gone.”

Hearing his voice distantly reminds Scully of something, nudges awake a thought inside her: Mulder. Mulder is here, too. She can't just meekly watch him die. 

She forces herself to look up.

It’s not an armed man, but a petite woman in a black coat, staring down at them impassively. She doesn’t seem very dangerous.

Ah, she thinks listlessly. The mysterious Rose. What does it matter now? Scully looks back down at Jackson’s motionless face. None of his secrets matter now.

“He’s not gone,” the young woman tells them suddenly. “We need to revive him.”

Scully and Mulder say nothing at first, as though they haven’t heard what she has said. Neither of them move.

“Did you hear me?” the young woman says. “He’s not gone.”

“He is,” Mulder says shortly, his head snapping up towards her. Then he shakes his head, and his tone grows softer and more despairing. “I’m sorry, Rose. I’m so sorry.”

“I would know if he were gone.” Rose’s answer rises in pitch just slightly. She looks at Mulder significantly. “Maybe you can tell, too. Try and see. Reach out.”

“Jackson hemorrhaged,” Scully replies, monotone, emotionless. Whoever this Rose is, she obviously needs to understand. “The bullet likely hit an artery. He bled out fast. There’s no possible way. He’s gone.”

“He’s not,” Rose repeats back to Scully in a fierce voice. “Try to revive him.”

“I’m a doctor,” Scully says, her voice a flat line. “I know when someone is alive or dead.”

“That’s not always true. You have to try.”

“Scully,” Mulder says, his tone suddenly different. “Let’s hear her out.”

“You feel it, too, don’t you? His shine?” Rose turns her attention to Mulder. She crouches down next to him. “You can tell he’s still here?”

“Maybe,” Mulder says quietly, his eyes bouncing from her to Scully. “Maybe. I feel … something. I can’t tell what it is.”

“A person can’t be alive after having lost so much blood,” Scully recites robotically. “He needs the blood to sustain basic life functions. He hasn’t been breathing. For fifteen minutes.”

“Jackson isn’t like other people,” Rose says. “He has a set of abilities, some of which you know about, and some of which I don’t think anyone knows about. Maybe including the ability to survive more than human beings can survive. To go into temporary stasis. Like … some of the hybrids can.”

“Like you can?” Mulder interjects softly.

“Yes. Like I can.” She turns back swiftly to Mulder. “Which is how you were misled … back then.” Her next words are low and urgent. “You can’t be misled again. Please don’t be. He’s still here, Mulder.”

“Yeah,” Mulder responds, furrowing his brow, his face beginning to come into focus, to take on an intensity Scully doesn’t understand. “Yeah.” He takes hold of her shoulder. “Scully, we need to try to revive him. Right now.”

“When we were misled back when?” Scully repeats, bewildered. “What’s she talking about? Who is she?”

“We should try CPR,” Mulder emphasizes.

“Right now,” Rose agrees. “Who will do it?”

Scully blinks, looking from Mulder’s gaze to the young woman. “Me, of course. Me.”

It feels ridiculous, sad, against every bit of training she’s ever had. To try to revive her obviously dead son feels like a pathetic act of futility.

But Mulder’s eyes are close on her, so she leans over and begins the process of trying to keep Jackson’s circulatory system alive, even knowing that for the past fifteen minutes no air has been filling his lungs and no pulse thumping through his veins.

She begins chest compressions, the sickening squelch of his pooled blood under her fingers. The only thing she can do is keep her mind empty. Don’t dwell on anything but the familiar movements. She tilts his head, giving him two rescue breaths. His mouth is still bloodied, and she tries not to think about the copper-penny taste on her lips.

Then she pulls back, watching his chest in silence to see if it moves.

It doesn’t. Of course it doesn’t.

“Nothing,” she whispers. She looks up at Mulder’s face. His eyes are on her.

“Now you do it again, right?” he asks. “That’s how it works?”

Scully twists her mouth, nods. She can’t possibly let him down, not when he is looking so hopeful. Not when she failed to protect his son to begin with. She’ll do any irrational thing he wants.

She positions her hands on Jackson’s body for the chest compressions again.

Press, press, press, press: her hands rediscover the required rhythm, the natural backbeat of life.

Each time her hands bear down she feels more hopeless. She wonders if she will break his ribs, if she will damage the body of this poor child of hers further. She tries to empty her mind again. When she can’t do that she tries to think more like Mulder; she tries to will herself into believing it might work.

All along she can feel the young woman Rose leaning tightly over her shoulder, her breath drawn. In a different situation, Scully might be curious about this. As it is, she can only focus on what she must do.

Thirty compressions, then back to the breaths. She takes careful hold of his chin and tries again, pushing air forcibly into his lungs with her own.

She brought him to life the first time, in Georgia, years ago. It was a miracle then. Maybe she can do it again.

She stops, waiting and watching.

With a sound like an inflating balloon, Jackson suddenly gasps, his eyes fluttering open.

Scully’s mouth flies open, too. Not possible. The boy’s chest begins to rise and fall rapidly, as he tries to gain control over his lungs again.

“Jackson,” Mulder says shakily. “Jackson, can you hear us?”

Scully stares. Her hands, still smudged with blood, are still extended unsteadily in front of her, as though they’re about to do more compressions. She’s afraid to trust her senses, afraid to move.

Jackson, wheezing a little, looks at Mulder and begins to cough violently, pushing himself up on his elbows. Blood foams from his mouth.

“Oh Jackson,” Scully whispers. She makes herself move, dabbing at the blood on his chin with the sleeve of the tee-shirt she’s wearing, which is covered in blood already anyway. “Jackson, it’s going to be okay.”

“I’ll get him water and a washcloth,” Mulder says, leaping up.

“What’s going on?” rasps Jackson. More blood dribbles from his mouth.

“Just wait,” Scully says in an artificially high voice. “You’re okay. You’re… going to be fine. Just let us take care of you for a moment.”

He sinks backwards again on the floor, wincing a little.

“I don’t understand. What about the entry wound?” Scully whispers in horror to Rose. “What about the bullet? Internal damage?”

“I think he must heal fast,” Rose says, sounding perplexed. “He must. You could … look at the site of bullet penetration.”

Scully reaches down and examines Jackson’s torso, visible through his ripped shirt. She runs her fingers over his rib cage, sticky with blood, but she can no longer see the site where the bullet pierced him, no source of bleeding.

“It’s completely closed,” Rose observes in a whisper. She seems to be surprised by this, too. “That makes it … hard to kill him. Maybe impossible. This changes things.”

“I got shot,” Jackson mumbles in shock. “That man shot me, didn’t he?”

“He didn’t kill you,” Scully says. She touches the hair on Jackson’s head affectionately, not caring for a moment about giving him space, not caring about the blood on her hands. “You’re alive. You’re going to be okay.”

“There’s blood … everywhere,” Jackson breathes, sounding panicky. “Is that my blood? On the floor and all over you?”

“Here’s a damp washcloth,” Mulder offers. He crouches down to hand it to Jackson. “You can wipe some of the blood off.”

“Did you save me, Rose?” Jackson croaks, accepting the washcloth and wiping his mouth.

“You saved yourself,” Rose says with a small tight-lipped smile. But, Scully thinks, Rose did save him, or at least her unlikely advice did. “You seem to have the ability to bounce back from death.”

“Wow.” Jackson stops wiping his chin. “Really?” He looks at Scully for confirmation, which she finds oddly touching. She nods weakly, and he turns back to Rose. “So I’m, like, immortal. Like a god.”

“I wouldn’t put it like that,” Rose says, her smile brightening. “I have some of the same abilities, you know, so you’re not that special.”

Scully raises her eyes to study Rose more carefully, noting this dynamic between her and Jackson. Didn’t she imply she was a hybrid? Where did she come from? How does he know her? The girl’s eyes, alight now with happiness, are very clear and very blue.

Jackson smiles crookedly. “We’re superheroes,” he mumbles, dazed. “Like the brother and sister in The Incredibles.”

“Something like that,” Rose says. She looks like she wants to cry, but she presses her lips together into a tiny smile instead. Scully frowns, wondering. Part of her is tempted to begin pressing for information right now.

But Jackson is still so pale. First things first.

“Let me examine you, Jackson,” Scully says crisply. Nothing here is normal, everything is upside down, but her tone is all business. A personal specialty. “And let’s get you cleaned up.”

***

Jackson is remarkably healthy for someone shot a half hour ago, although he’s suffering from what Scully might describe as low level shock. After he rinses off in the shower and dresses in Mulder’s old sweat suit, they wrap him in Scully’s quilt. He sits bundled on the couch, a slightly stunned look on his face.

Scully crosses her arms over her chest, trying to formulate the right series of questions, when Mulder clears his throat and wipes his palms on his pants.

“We should probably figure some things out,” he says. All in the room look at him. There are still visible tear tracks on his face. Scully imagines there must be on hers, too. “Do we need to take Jackson to the hospital, Scully?”

“I don’t see why,” she says. “There are no signs of serious trauma. We can monitor him here.”

He nods. There’s an abrupt frigid gust of air from the hole that is the former front door, and Mulder speculatively looks it up and down. “We need to consider this problem, then. It’s freezing out,” he says, gesturing to the destroyed door frame. “I either need to find a way to make this weather proof, or we all need to relocate to a motel tonight.”

“Yes, agreed,” Scully says, nodding, trying to keep up with what he’s saying.

Rose is sitting silently on the desk chair, and Mulder walks to her, putting his hand on her shoulder. “And what about you, Rose? Do we need to be worried about your immediate safety? Are there going to be more Walled Garden operatives coming for you?”

“No,” she says blankly. She looks like she is about to say more, but her eyes land on Scully. “No. I don’t think so.”

Scully’s eyes dart in the space between her and Mulder. The relationship between Rose and Jackson is perplexing enough, but this interaction is even harder to interpret. Mulder seems almost protective of Rose, like he knows her.

“I don’t mean to be rude,” Scully says softly to Rose. “But … who are you, exactly?”

There’s a pause, and no one answers. Rose looks at her feet, her discomfort apparent.

“Yeah. All right, Scully,” Mulder says, placating. “We should talk about it.” She hates the tone of voice he’s using. It’s the one he uses to calm her down when he thinks she’s being unreasonable, and her question isn’t unreasonable. “I think that first I should get some plywood I have in the shed out back. Maybe I can board the door up for now. Then—I don’t know, we can sit down and talk, make a plan.”

Scully does not like this at all. But she raises her chin up and down in a reluctant nod. “Do you need help?” she says.

“Why don’t you take care of Jackson?” Mulder suggests. “Rose, why don’t you give me a hand with the plywood?”

Rose nods shortly, glancing again at Scully.

“It will just take a second,” Mulder assures Scully, clearly reading her expression and body language. “We’ll be right back. We’ll all talk.”

“All right,” she says. She stands, watching as Mulder silently bundles up in his winter coat and smiles at her, then walks out the gap into the cold morning.

Rose follows him, burrowing her hands in the pockets of her coat again. She pauses, angling backwards, and her blue eyes shoot back inside towards Scully for a moment.

Almost like the curiosity is mutual.

Scully realizes she’s gnawing on her bottom lip as she meets the young woman’s eyes. She gives Rose a cautious smile instead.

Even after both Mulder and Rose have disappeared from sight, she stands there, facing the gap in the wall.

Her hands run slowly up and down her arms. She’s wearing a clean oversized shirt of Mulder’s, but there are still streaks of dried brown blood everywhere on her skin, even in her hair, and she feels cold and uneasy. She tries to warm herself as she puts pieces together.

She thinks over what she heard Mulder say to Rose just minutes ago, about operatives from something called the Walled Garden. She wonders if that’s the same organization the hybrids who came for Jackson were from.

“I know,” Jackson says in his hoarse voice from the couch. “You hate not knowing the whole truth, even for a few minutes. Right?”

Scully has the inappropriate urge to laugh, remembering suddenly that Jackson hears all of her thoughts. She really needs to get in the habit of remembering. Feeling suddenly very tired, she walks back to the couch and sinks down next to him. He is watching her with an intent, serious expression.

“That’s right,” she admits. “Is that something you saw using your shine, Jackson?”

“Yeah,” he says, “but even if I couldn’t, I think I could tell from how your face looks right now.”

That does make her smile a little. “I’ve always tried to appear inscrutable,” she says, “but people often seem to be able to tell when I’m upset.”

“Me, too.” Jackson pulls the blanket tighter. He eyes her. “I’d like to have a poker face, but I just don’t have one. My face gives away more than I want to, I guess.”

Scully’s smile deepens. “Exactly.”

“That’s not always necessarily bad,” Jackson says.

“No,” agrees Scully. “Not necessarily.”

Jackson pulls in a breath. “Mulder’s worried about how you’ll feel about what he's going to say. He’s worried that … you’ll be upset.”

“Oh.” Scully leans her head back against the couch, feeling rising trepidation. She doesn’t look at Jackson, continuing to stare instead at the wrecked door frame. “What do you think?” The wind rattles into the heart of the house again, sending a deep-reaching chill through her. “Is he right?”

“I don’t know,” Jackson says. “Maybe.” His brows knit together. “You know… you know how you told me you’d tell me the story of your first kid—of Emily—but that it was a sad story?”

“Yes,” she says cautiously. She squints as the light filters through the front windows, becoming suddenly more starkly bright.

“Well,” Jackson says, swallowing. “It is a sad story. Just not in the exact way you thought.” He hesitates. “You know how genetic brothers and sisters sometimes have the same traits. The same abilities.”

In slow motion Scully turns her head to look at him.

“That’s what it is, I guess. Although … I don’t know if her having those abilities and me having those abilities is actually because we are brother and sister,” Jackson says. “Because she has them because she’s a hybrid. And I have them … because of some reason nobody understands.”

Scully stares at him blankly. She thinks about Rose, all sorts of details from her memories now coming into crisp focus. The strawberry blonde hair, the blue eyes. Mulder’s hand on her shoulder. Mr. Potato Head. The brother and sister in The Incredibles. How we were misled back then.

“I didn’t have any idea I had a sister,” Jackson continues. He turns to face Scully now, his voice turning secretive and important, like he wants her to know. “But I think she’s known about me for a long time. I think she’s been watching out for me. She’s the one who saved me after my parents were killed.” He’s watching her face now. “You get what I’m saying, right?”

“Yes,” she says, the word whisper soft.

But she’s not sure she does, not really. That woman, that adult woman. It couldn’t possibly be. She was dead. It had been confirmed. They knew she was dead. It was the only way she would have ever left San Diego and not looked back.

She becomes aware that Jackson’s expression is changing—his eyebrows arching, his lips drawing together. He looks concerned for her. Worried. Tender. He looks just like Mulder.

“She’s not Mulder’s kid, like I am,” Jackson says curiously. He’s clearly listening to her thoughts. “Is she?”

“No,” replies Scully again.

Jackson seems to consider this a moment. His eyes slide over to her again, worried.

“I can tell you’re upset. But … I thought you’d want to know so you didn’t wonder,” he says uncertainly. “And I thought… maybe somehow me telling you would be better than them telling you?”

He’s watching her so closely. She knows she needs to think straight here, to pull it together.

“I did want to know,” she says, her voice brittle. “And you’re right, Jackson, you telling me is better. It’s just …”

A shock. The nauseating discovery that she’s failed to be a mother for two children, not just one. That this child went from being a cherubic preschooler to a stoic young woman in black without her, with whatever chaos happening in her life, just because Scully wasn’t brave or wise enough to question what was conventional and safe.

“Okay,” Jackson says suddenly. “Come on. Jesus. Stop.”

Her eyes focus back on him, on his pale face.

“That’s what my therapist would call negative self talk,” Jackson adds, rolling his eyes self-deprecatingly. “And, uh, I’m hearing all of it.”

She feels her lip trembling. “Jackson,” she manages. “I’m sorry. It’s just …”

“Rose probably hopes that you’ll be happy to meet her now,” he says pointedly. “Because that’s a pretty good thing, right? After all this time. That you get to finally meet each other. Maybe even be … something like family. Isn’t that kind of badass? Isn’t that a pretty good thing?”

She doesn’t need a shine to see into his thoughts right now.

Silent tears are on her face, and she takes his hand in hers, squeezing it. Looking into his eyes, she lets him feel her joy, her real joy.

“It’s more than a pretty good thing,” she agrees simply. “It’s a miracle.”

She realizes, somewhat to her surprise, that she believes what she’s just said.

“Yeah,” he says sheepishly. She notices there are silent tears on his face, too. “And like the third one today, too.”

They don’t let go of one another’s hands. They wait in silence for Mulder and Rose to return.

***