#and i will always find a reason to post about gerard
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cuffmeinblack · 2 years ago
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Military Seb just reminding me of the best music video of all time.
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awsugar · 2 months ago
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speaking of questions that exercise very mcr specific muscles in your brain. i was perusing mychem tumblr the other day and came across a masterpost about the SS/mayo blog frerard lore (i’m aware frerard is not PC these days thanks obama). i’ve been a dedicated fan for over a decade now and my brain is an mcr lore bank but i had literally never heard of this. do you know about it and if you do what are your thoughts
omg yea. ss/mayo is crazy. and unfortunately a lot of it has been lost to time and its not even saved on wayback. theres some stuff thats convincing, theres some stuff thats not.
so like lets preface this by saying that the ft willz myspace? confirmed to be frank. and obviously the stuff posted on skeleton crew, those screenshots of ft willz works that look like theyre on burnt paper? yea so those are confirmed and those are real fully frank no questions.
i personally am a skeptic of other accounts that claim to be ft willz. like the tumblr? i do not think thats frank. and i think that came at a time when people had already really speculated or figured out that ft willz WAS frank. so like i think the tumblr is honestly just someone who was pretending to be frank and managed to sort of emulate his style but yea i don't think it's him. i think the reason some of the stuff hits so hard in a frerard sense is because that was intentional by the person writing it. you know.
anyway ss and mayo. there were two blogs on blogspot started in 2007 i believe that fans thought were frank and gerard. well it started with mayo (its-mayonaise.blogspot.com). that blog is still up and so are a lot of the posts but i think a lot of them have been deleted as well, and not saved anywhere on wayback. im sure theyre on someones hard drive out there but i haven't seen them. then a blog appeared called iamthemodernprometheus.blogspot.com. some of those posts are still up but most are gone. that was ss/sss/shitsubou shita/frank (allegedly). ss started interacting in the comments on mayo's blog. and i think i may have read some mayo blog posts back in the day but i haven't been able to find them to answer this one. i just remember when i joined the fandom most people thought it was gerard.
now here's a couple things of evidence. THIS is a blogspot comment thread where people who have saved some of ss' blog posts put them in the comments. and yes obviously it could be an elaborate hoax by two fans who were invested in frerard. but like these things were being posted as it HAPPENED. you know? idk i wasnt there in 2007. but 2007 was when the fanfic took off and we really informed a lot of our perception of what happened with frerard on things like ft willz/stuff that happened on stage/and a lot of these posts really fit into the timeline. i would recommend reading that because its kind of hard to believe its like. a teenager pretending to be frank. it really just SOUNDS like frank. and he's really writing blog posts. basically to gerard lol. it gives the impression that they were on tour together (projekt rev) and doing the Thing but like there was def tension going on behind the scenes and we already know that thats true. frank didn't like eliza and thought gerard was moving too fast, the imnotokay.net post came from someone in mcr's camp that ppl thought was frank (or maybe brian) and then tbh its happening again?? just months later? it makes complete sense that if frank thought gerard was moving too fast with eliza that he DEFINITELY thought he was moving too fast with lynz getting MARRIED to her backstage just a couple months? after breaking off his engagement with eliza. anyway just read the comments. its very easy to believe its frank.
and then the other peice of evidece i found in this reddit thread: x comment in particular by u/ReallyKapu. they say that they have always gone by Kapunua online and that they met frank at a lm show, gave him a hat with the inscription 'sss' inside and later on he thanked them for it on the blog.
sure enough:
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from what i've read it seems like the blog was actually a community. there were people who followed it and made friends in the comment section. and it does seem implausible but it looks to me like frank saved all of his gifts from tour and then made this post specifically thanking people for them. the person who claims this is them also says that they don't think mayo is actually gerard but that frank thought it was.
and i've seen stuff saying that if it wasn't gerard it was probably someone close to the band because they had like information that was posted on the blog that wouldn't come readily available (or make sense) until the show the next day.
anyway, i wasn't there for this. i was on the forums and twitter and tumblr for a LOT of mcr history but this was a little before my time and i think if i had been there OR if the blogs had actually been preserved in some way that i might be able to form a better opinion. i think theres a lot of evidence for frank, not sure about gerard. but i won't claim that it's true either bc we really don't know and this one i don't think we ever will!
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otherone12 · 2 months ago
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I Don't Need a VIP Pass
Gerard Way x Reader
-> Masterlist
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A/N: Heyy!! This fic was quite short, but I really think it turned out well… anyway, I don't think there was any reason to extend it. Hupe u enjoy it!
(Plz sand me requests! Literally anything... )
Summary: You are a non-public Gerard's partner, 'because you never really cared about put this under the spotlight, 'cause you love each other and thats enough for you. He invited you to see MCR's concert, but you didn't found him anfter the show. Looking for him, you went to the "meet & great" area, but you haven't a VIP pass.
- Word Count: 900
- Warnings: None :)
- Ps: I'll not use y/n…
- Ps2: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language... sorry if i wrote something wrong.
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1st Person POV
The crowd’s cheers still echoed in my ears as I maneuvered backstage, a mix of adrenaline and nerves coursing through me. MCR had just put on an epic show, and all I wanted was to be with Gerard, like we always do after shows. 
Our post-show meetings are practically a ritual. Right after the show I meet him backstage, then we go to the hotel and enjoy some of the quiet time we have during the tour. When there's a meet-and-greet, it's customary for us to see each other beforehand, and I stand nearby waiting. But this time I couldn't find him anywhere.
- Did anyone see Gee? - I called out, trying to maintain my composure as the backstage chaos unfolded around me. It was usually easy to find him, everyone here knew I was his girlfriend, and I never needed any pass or else. But tonight, the backstage area felt like a maze, and I was losing my sense of direction.
- Good luck finding him! - Frank joked as he rushed past me. - He’s probably off kissing some fan or something.
- Ha, very funny, - I shot back, rolling my eyes. But my heart raced with a mix of annoyance and concern. He always made it a point to find me right after the show. Why was this time different?
I made my way toward the meet-and-greet area, where fans buzzed with excitement, but my stomach twisted when I couldn’t spot Gerard’s familiar bright-red hair in the crowd.
A couple of girls, probably around my age, stood near the front. They looked like they knew everything going on so I approached them casually.
- Hey, have you seen Gerard? - I asked calmly - I’ve been looking everywhere for him.
One of the girls immediately gave me the up-and-down, zeroing in on my neck.
- You don’t have a VIP pass. - she said, in an affronting tone.
- Yeah, I know, - I forced a smile, tryng to keep calm - I don’t need one.
I kept my eyes darting around, trying to spot him.
- Well, we paid for ours, so we do need one. - Her friend snorted and rolled her eyes. - If you don't have a pass, you're not supposed to be here.
Her voice dripped with that Karen-level smugness, making my skin prickle.
- I’m not here to meet the band, I’m just looking for Gerard.
 I said, trying even hard to keep calm. My patience was wearing thin.
She crossed her arms with a mean smirk.
- Well, too bad. If you don’t leave, I’ll get security.
I took a deep breath, again, forcing myself to relax, though anxiety and frustration gnawed at me. Where the hell was he?
- Look, I don’t want trouble, -  I said, my voice tight. - I just need to find Gee-
- SECURITY! - she yelled, cutting me off.
A wave of exasperation hit me like a truck. Great.
A large security guard lumbered toward me, parting the crowd with the sheer size of his presence. 
- Where’s your VIP pass? -  he asked gruffly, crossing his arms.
- I. Don’t. Need. One. - I clenched my jaw.
- Why do you think you’re so special, huh? - The obnoxious girl made a loud scoff, apparently trying to get as many people as possible to look at the whole scene
I was about to open my mouth and replace her. The things running into my mind to say that weren't friendly at all, but when I saw Gerard, weaving through the crowd, with that cute smile I loved so much and his hazel eyes sparkling under the dim lights, relief flooded me.
- Gee! - I called, waving at him.
- Sugar! - His face lit up when he saw me. 
 He practically ran over, slipping an arm around my waist and pulling me close.
- There you are, - he murmured, pressing a quick kiss to my temple. - I’ve been looking for you everywhere.
- So was I,- I said with a grin, running my hand along his cheek and pulling him in for a proper kiss. 
His lips met mine slowly, sweetly, in that overly dramatic way only Gerard could pull off. And, of course, I made sure the smug fan saw every second of it.
When we finally pulled apart, I glanced at her. The look on her face was priceless. Eyes wide, mouth agape, disbelief painted across every feature. I couldn’t resist shooting her a wicked grin.
- That’s why I don’t need a VIP pass, - I murmured just loud enough for her to hear.
- What? - Gerard blinked, confused but amused. 
- Never mind.-  I held his leather jacket, pulling him for a kiss again, smirking against his lips before pulling away. - But next time, babe, can you make sure I get a VIP pass?
I know that wasn’t nice for me to doing this, but damn it was so fun. I made sure to get the most touchy possible while we’re talking, hands under his jacket, hugging him.
- Why? - He raised an eyebrow, grinning.
- Because I really don’t want to have to punch your fans. -  I wrinkled my nose playfully.
- You wouldn’t-
- Oh, I would,- I teased, cutting him off - For you? In a heartbeat.
He let out a soft whine, squeezing me tighter. 
- But they’re not like groupies… just enthusiastic fans, babe, you know that.
I gave him a sly look. 
- Sure, Gee. Whatever you say. - I packed his lips one last time before we walked away together.
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~ Soo that's it! Lemme know if u liked it! <3
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theboombutton · 11 months ago
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Bad Fictional Data vs Fictional Bad Data
WARNING: This post will include discussion of a name that might be Alice Dyer's deadname. I won't be calling Alice by this name or using it in the context of that name being a pointer to Alice, but I will be using the name, uncensored, when talking about where and why the name appeared in chdb.xls .
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You may know that as part of the ARG, the sleuths on Statement Remains uncovered a document called chdb.xls, allegedly a list that has something to do with The Magnus Institute. There's a list of names, ID numbers, first and last names, dates of birth, and information apparently related to each person's "score" in an assortment of psychological/personality tests. Three of the names in particular have stood out in a lot of analyses: Samama Khalid, Gerard Kaey [sic], and Connor Dyer.
You likely don't know that the commonly linked version of the spreadsheet, ported to Google Docs and linked in the TMAGP ARG Masterdoc, is presented out of order. (I'm guessing they didn't lock down editing until it was already all out of order from various people messing with it - totally understandable, this is not a callout post, thank you for making this easily accessible to people.)
But let me tell you about something I discovered by looking at the spreadsheet in its original order, and the almost certainly incorrect rabbit hole of theorizing it has sent me down.
Bad Fictional Data
Until episode 2 I had the same thought about the Dyer listed in the spreadsheet that I think most people did: that it was Alice's deadname, and that she had therefore been one of the Institute's young subjects. But after Alice had absolutely no reaction when Sam mentioned the Magnus Institute to her in episode 2, I now think this is significantly less likely.
Don't get me wrong: it's still reasonable to think that the Dyer listed in chdb.xls is Alice. Maybe she had some kind of supernatural experience that wiped her memory. (It probably wasn't that Alice was too young to remember, as the Dyer on the spreadsheet is listed as being at Piaget Stage 3, which occurs from 7-11 years old; but it's always possible that the Magnus Institute was using the names of legitimate psychological tests to hide their tracks when recording more esoteric data.) The point is, this isn't hard evidence that Alice has no connection to the Magnus Institute; it just made me go looking for more evidence.
I went back to the spreadsheet to look for more clues about whether or not this was Alice's deadname. What I found instead was some extremely sloppy fake data at the bottom of the spreadsheet.
For context, here are first ten names in the spreadsheet:
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Note how each ID begins with the name's first and last initial.
Now check out the last ten names:
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Not only do these IDs no longer always match their subjects' names, they occur in order: CD, EF, GH, IJ, KL, MN, OP, QR, ST, UV. The first names of each pair match the first letter of each ID, but many, though not all, of the surnames don't match the second letter.
My first thought was that whoever Rusty Quill had contracted to generate these names had gotten sloppy at the end of the list, created the IDs all at once using this alphabetical pattern, and picked names to fill in that roughly matched the IDs. But hey, we could use this to our advantage! Any name that was filled in as part of a series of IDs with an alphabetical pattern like this could be removed from consideration for red string analysis - we'd know they were meaningless fakes added by a lazy contractor, and not clues or characters that might show up again later.
Scrolling back up the spreadsheet, we can see the person generating the data having more care the earlier we go. We find the beginning of the AA/BC/DE/FG/HI pattern at line 136, but at first, the names mostly conform to the initials they've been given. JK09874 "Josie Jordan" at line 154 is the first break from the "first two letters of the ID are their initials" pattern; and breaks occur more often the further you go down the sheet.
Scrolling up to before line 136 (AA09911 - Aaron Atkinson), while the pattern isn't yet at AB/CD/EF/GH levels of obviousness, the first initials are still in alphabetical order. Zoe Hart follows Yara Logan follows Xavier Freeman follows Wyatt Edwards. The data creator skips a few letters - for example Niamh Fenton is followed by Phoebe Emmett, and S and T are together in the same line in Skye Travers.
We can follow this less-obvious version of the alphabetical pattern up to an abrupt break right at line 118, above which the IDs don't follow an alphabetical pattern at all. (They might follow a different pattern, but it's not one that I've found yet.) So that means we can discount all the names in line 118 and below as purely fake, generated lazily by a contractor, and not worthy of our attention for the purposes of red-stringing. Right?
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What the fuck?!
(highlight is my own, it is not present in the original document)
My first thought was that the sloppy data generator had done the funniest thing imaginable, sending everyone on a wild goose chase about Alice's deadname just by having the name "Dyer" on the brain while looking for a surname that started with D. This would be Very Funny. No plot relevance, no implications, just the brain fart that launched a thousand theories.
My second thought was that maybe Connor Dyer was the last legit name on the list, and whoever started filling the rest of the sheet in with alphabetical junk data was inspired by the "CD" initials in the first place - whoever it was went on from there.
These are both valid thoughts! But I prefer my third thought:
What if it's on purpose?
Fictional Bad Data
There is a very obvious break between the set of data that doesn't look obviously* fake, and the set of data that is immediately identifiable as such. If we assume that this was intentional - and I want to reiterate that it all being unintentional is still a very real possibility here - why would someone at Rusty Quill want the data to be structured like this?
If the sharp dividing line between reasonable-seeming data and obviously fake data is intentional on RQ's part, it would suggest that we should take the data above row 118 as in-universe real data, and the data below row 118 as in-universe falsified data. It suggests that someone, either at the Institute or after its demise, was adding nonexistent children to the roster of The Magnus Institute. Why would someone want to do that?
There are all kinds of possible reasons, but here are a few off the top of my and my theorizing buddies' heads:
Financial fraud (institutional edition). If the Magnus Institute received funding on a per-child basis, they'd have an incentive to inflate their numbers.
Financial fraud (researcher edition). One or more people on staff were blowing off their child-analysis sessions and recording fake numbers for fake children. This would be ballsy as hell if they could be fired for it, but it was the Magnus Institute, so there's decent odds they couldn't be.
Scientific fraud (faking conclusions edition). The Magnus Institute in the Protocolverse claimed to be doing research on giftedness in children, which is the kind of thing that you'd normally publish in a scientific journal. It's not unheard-of for dickhead academics to falsify data to generate statistically significant results, since statistically insignificant results aren't going to get you published.
Scientific fraud (obscuring paranormal bullshit edition). If the Magnus Institute was using legitimate psychological test names to record Fear-related test results, it's possible their results showed different patterns from what you would expect from the real tests. They could have added the fake children to balance out the dataset as a whole.
Pseudonyms. The children are all real, the Institute just started using fake names for them for privacy purposes. They couldn't go back and change the names they'd already written properly for some reason. Probably something paranormal.
Those are all pretty interesting possibilities, and if we could narrow them down, it might tell us something about what things were like at the Magnus Institute before it burned down!
And the other big question is: why did RQ make the dividing line between the two sections, the first likely-fake entry, Connor Dyer?
One straightforward reason could be as a troll, a red herring to watch fans get in a lather over. And once the community inevitably noticed all the obviously falsified entries, RQ could eat popcorn and watch us lose our minds over whether or not that's even a real entry! (That sounds really fun, I would absolutely do that.)
But let's dig a little deeper, and look at what Connor Dyer being on the border between the real and fake entries would mean in-universe. Because of its position as the border between real and fake, it would be very easy for that entry to be accidentally included in the wrong group - a real research subject discarded as fake, or perhaps more interestingly, a fake research subject accidentally reclassified as real.
Remember, if a name is fake in the context of the Magnus Institute's research, that doesn't mean that the name itself is made up. If I was trying to think of a name that fit the initials CD, and those were the initials of my next door neighbor's kid, I might just write their name in as a lark. Especially if it was my first time trying to get away with falsifying information: this is a kid that verifiably exists and lives in the area.
My theory, supported primarily by my love for The Implications instead of actual evidence
Twenty years on, after all institutional memory of the fraud was long gone, trans icon Alice Dyer applies to work for the OIAR - an institution that (according to this theory) has an unofficial preference for hiring former Magnus Institute kids.
They are very confused when Alice proceeds to act nothing like a former Magnus Institute kid. It doesn't occur to anyone that her entry might have been falsified. What reason would anyone have to do that?
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* Of course people with a background in data analysis or statistics will see immediately that even above line 118 this is a wild-ass dataset that would raise red flags for falsification, but at least it's not "the alphabet over and over" levels of obvious.
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starstruckbyacomet · 2 months ago
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On the Break-Up
Tarlos vs Tevan
People had mentioned that Tevan's break-up is similar with Tarlos', which may indicate a reunion in the near future. The only similarity I can think of is that both happened because one half of the pair wanted to move the relationship forward, while the other half was reluctant. On the other hand, I find several differences between the two which are quite alarming:
1)) Rafael Silva was/is a main cast. He wouldn't go anywhere. Lou is just a guest star.
2)) Tarlos is the only queer couple on Lone Star. 9-1-1 OG has already one queer couple: Henren. So far, I haven't found any shows marketed towards the general audience, which have more than one queer couples who got a happy ending.
3)) Both Tim and Oliver agree that Buck is always a bit promiscuous. This trait is even deliberately shown when Buck was tackily eyeing a woman in the middle of his anniversary dinner with Tommy! Neither TK nor Carlos has this trait. During 5 seasons of their up and down relationship, neither TK nor Carlos has ever shown attraction to other people. Tim also posted a video in his Facebook page about how a character shouldn't change so much on a TV show. It could be an indication that he has set Buck as an eternal bachelor, who was destined to always search for love, while bedding multiple love interests until the season finale.
4)) Tarlos' break up didn't feel out of character. Although it happened off screen, and the reason was disclosed much later in the storyline, the explanation made sense. On the other hand, Tevan's break up is out of character for everyone involved:
Tommy used to be very mindful about other people's feelings. In 7x04, he was aware that he had created a wedge between Buck and Eddie, so he visited Buck to clear the air. This Tommy wouldn't get into a relationship, if he knew he couldn't move to the next step.
Buck who had always been clinging and pursuing people who had left him (Abby, Maddie), would not let Tommy go without fighting for their relationship.
Bobby who has said Tommy was good for Buck, and Henren who have questioned Tommy about his intention with Buck, would not standby watching the break up without saying anything to either Buck or Tommy.
5)) Although in the middle of a break up, there was a sense of continuity in Tarlos' love story. We saw both TK and Carlos struggled with the break-up. We saw people around them were concerned and questioning, as if they want Tarlos to be back together. This doesn't happen in Tevan's break up. The only sign that Tommy has been struggling is #TommybubblesBuck. We see mostly only Buck is struggling, while people around him indicate that they want him to move on (by hiding his phone instead of encouraging him to talk to Tommy like an adult!). It feels like the purpose of showing how much Buck has been struggling is to remind the audience that Tommy is as important as Abby for Buck, because Buck was also struggling when Abby left.
6)) Buck didn't even seem struggling while he was interacting with his team or Brad on episode 8x08 "Wannabes". This is different with TK and Carlos who carried their feelings almost all the time during their break-up period.
7)) Overall, the way Tarlos' break up was executed more thoughtfully indicates that it is an important milestone in their continuing love story. Tevan's break-up seemed poorly written and rushly executed, as if just to put a lid on a box. It seemed that the way Tim viewed Tommy is similar like he viewed Gerard and Ortiz: as loose ends from the prior season which need to be tied up asap, before being discarded like used tissues. Tim even preferred to give more attention to Brad Torrence, his shiny new toy. This was not happened in Tarlos break up.
Despite all the discouraging signs, I couldn't put off the tiny hope which is still flickering in my heart. I love Tevan too much, and it feels like I have been fighting more for their relationship than for my own 😅. With all the above signs, I'm afraid that the only chance for their love story to continue is by:
keeping the rating/viewership low until Tevan reunited on screen.
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twistedastrology · 8 months ago
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- Cancers at their worst -
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i just saw an ig post (no shade to the original poster) that said a cancer's dark side was everything they are stereotyped to be (extremely emotional/sensitive, are way too kind and always think people are judging them) and as a cancer that may be about to go neurotic again rn im gonna tell you from my personal experience what a cancer's dark side is actually like.
like i said though im going off of mostly just my experience so if this doesn't resonate, my bad- i did my best 🙏😔
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to understand the nature of a cancer at their worst, you have to actually understand water and its potential volatility.
remember when i talked abt cancers and rage and how i said cancers are fire-coded (cardinal) water? keep that in mind for just abt this entire post.
fire is pure energy, and so is water, water just has more space to hold said energy- where fire burns out quickly, water doesn't dry out that fast at all especially if you have an ocean specifically.
people who say cancers (or really any water sign honestly-) are crybabies and switch moods every 5 seconds do not understand what water really is and this topic makes me a little livid sometimes because those are the same people that made me not like my rising sign for a long time.
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to understand a cancers rock bottom, think about what water can do.
tsunamis can kill hundreds of thousands of people if they're big enough.
hurricanes, and sometimes tornadoes, form over water when the temperature is right.
the pressure at the bottom of the ocean can crush almost anything in an instant except for what has specifically evolved to live down there.
rain can lead to insane flooding (fellow floridians remember hurricane ian 2yrs ago 😕)
we have explored less of our ocean than the space around us, can you imagine what oceans on other planets would be like? especially the planets or moons that are almost Entirely water?
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water represents emotion, yes, but when we boil that down to water signs being overly emotional, it doesn't make any sense and it makes some people, at least the ones that are like me, ashamed of their water placements because our society loves to say "emotion = bad." when obviously that is not true.
But if we wanna talk about the actual dark shit, aka my jupiter in scorpio's favorite shit, u gotta strap in.
Cancers feel more rage than anything.
i talked abt this specifically in my cancers and rage post, but it's true for this as well.
to use myself as the example, whenever i feel depressed or upset for some reason (like today), it's never just that sad feeling, it is always accompanied by a distinct anger because i get pissed that i feel like shit.
but if that rage doesn't get its way, or worse, gets too much of its way, i can succumb to a state of misery or, at my worst, neurosis, where multiple god awful things happen.
im not one to stay down for long, the last and first time i went neurotic, it only lasted for a week until i snapped out of it, but it was still very damaging.
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cancers at their worst will feel an urge to self-destruct that may or may not be uncontrollable depending on other placements in the chart and of course how shitty they feel.
they will find something detrimental to do and if they genuinely can't, they will instead just mentally rip themselves open and daydream about what it would be like to just completely lose control and fall into a self-destructive spiral.
that's what happened to me when i went neurotic. one wrong decision and, having no access to anything that would take a toll on my physical body, i ripped myself to pieces in my head and almost fell in love with the act.
like gerard way said, there's something very romantic about it.
cancers can get moody, yes, but at this point they'll go mostly numb and tearing at their soul is the only thing they enjoy.
and then the pain will catch up to them.
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once that pain catches up to them, two things will happen.
they will begin to realize what they've been doing and how pointless it is, and they will activate a duality within themselves of the desire to hurt and the need for pain relief.
they will tear at themselves even more, knowing they shouldn't be doing what they are, but it's a vicious cycle.
this will happen, and then the potential for redemption begins to boil over.
after being in the dark, blissfully hidden depths of their own mental ocean, they will realize they can't breathe anymore, and they will either suffocate themselves or snap their eyes open and swim up until they see the light they deprived themselves of for however long.
once they've made it to the surface, they gasp to catch their breath, their tears being of the need for pain relief winning against their desire to hurt.
now the water is not a personal vice, but a cleansing presence that makes them feel understood. the water gets it. the water would never judge them for what they did.
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after being in the dark embrace of the depths of the ocean for so long, the light finally hitting your eyes makes color seem so much more vibrant.
- 🌙 -
all this to say that, at their worst, cancers can succumb to self destruction like no other, but they have the drive to keep them going to even them out.
they don't just cry all day or switch moods 24/7, they fall into a vat of water that, the deeper they go, reveals more and more of their very soul.
it's the deepest level of shadow work, it's the pain no one wants to go through because it's the pain of losing your personal momentum and then having to find it again in an instant before it's gone forever.
OR i could be totally wrong idk But this is my experience!!!! ✨💞💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨ God belsls!!!!!!!!
my bad that was real dark and poetic writing now i gotta balance it out Uhhhmmmmm Legalize nuclear bombs. 💥
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littleststarfighter · 2 months ago
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I hope this doesn't come across as entitled or condescending - - I just really love your MCR art and I hope more people will find it. Have you considered tagging it #triple r? I don't really know why, but it's a newer term used for Frerard. Another thing you could consider is posting the art without text below it (and then add your text commentary in a reblog). For whatever reason, this fandom gravitates to art with minimal captioning. These are all small tweaks that could help because I really don't think your art style is incompatible with what the fandom likes the most!
Oh no! it's not condescending at all. It's very helpful thank you. I had no idea about that tag. I've always known it as Ferard and just Gerard/Frank. So that will come in very useful. I did look at others' art and they were very sparse with their text. Something I'm definitely not lol I always tend to come up with small stories to my art and try to fit it in. So I'll try the reblog part if I have those extras to tell.
I love drawing MCR and Frerard so much that I hope people find it too, as I would love more people to share it with. I don't know too many folks in MCR apart from my friends over on Instagram. I’d like to know more people here. So thanks for all the helpful tips ♥
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drinkpisser · 3 months ago
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HOW IT CAME TO BE, CHAPTER 6 !! 🛸👽⭐️
so,, hi!! :3 I know I went on a whoooole tangent last time about how I was gonna take a break but for some reason every time I do that I end up becoming even more motivated to post/write and this chapter was basically made in almost record time ( ・д・) aaaaneewayz,, I've figured maybe the way to go is to write slightly smaller chapters so I don't burn out so quick 🙏 BUT YEAH!!!! ENJOY AND THANK YOU FOR READING IF U DO !!! <3333 :D🫶
READ THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER !! 🪐
begin reading chap.6 under the cut ‼️
CHAPTER 6: WE'RE NOT JUST DREAMERS
Gerard, Ray, Jamia and Frank had decided to meet up on a brittle Autumn's day. Tragically, they soon came to learn that Gerard being the oldest meant he was the only one able to drive without legal measures obstructing their stride.
What did this cause, you ask?
Well.
"Gee, pick us the fuck up! We're freezing out here!" Frank yells down his cellphone, wind muffling his voice.
Gerard, already exceeding the speed limit, hits the pedal with his foot twice as agressively than before.
"I just got offa' my shift, dude, wait!" He screams back with a struggle.
Thrusting towards the sidewalk with a "skrrrt!" of the car's wheels, Gerard manages to find Frank and J (a nickname acquired for Jamia) waiting outside the local burger joint, munching away with cold hands from holding their XL shakes. Almost instantly after they pile into the back, the car shoots off. J shrieks, a good half of her burger flopping onto her jacket, now glued together with artificial cheese.
Mikey, hiding under his hair, clears his throat as though he is intimidated. Pushing up his cracked glasses and sniffling, he shuffles around in the car seat.
"You okay, lil' brother?" Gee asks, noticing his timid mannerisms.
Mikey nods, "I still don't know these guys very well is all," he sheepishly turns to them.
Frank and J are now kissing passionately in the back of Gee's shitty Golf GTI. Frank briefly sideyes his poor witness, pulling away from J considerately.
"Yo," Frank grunts. J smiles. Mikey waves.
Gerard hits a sudden and sharp stop, turning to the rest of his companions- Mikey nearly flies out of the window, thank god for seatbelts.
"Where's Ray?" Gerard wonders.
"Not at a fucking gas station." Frank stares directly at the camera. What? There's an imaginary camera representing the audience?
"I swear I haven't seen him, since, like, last week. When we went to the skate park." J adds.
"Well, I walked him home and stuff after that but he hasn't said anything about cancellin' on us today," Gerard observes, "I think I'll drive to his house cause he ain't here." He points to the outside of the café where Ray had supposedly arranged to meet about half an hour ago. Gee zooms off once again.
Zoom!
Ray's house can only be described as modern- like your average, run of the mill family home. He hadn't moved out yet, unlike Gerard, so chances are if something is wrong, then his parents will answer the door; Ray always rushes to the door when he knows Gerard is behind it.
Gerard shuffles along, hauling his ass out of the car in a slight panic. Gee knocks three times.
"Coming!" A voice chirps from behind the door. Thank goodness, It's Ray. Opening the door, he whistles unknowingly.
"I totally forgot about meeting up, sorry I'm late! Uh-" Ray stumbles on his words.
"What's goin' on?" Gerard quizzically stares, tilting his head slightly.
"You see, erm," Ray gently grabs Gee by the collar, ushering him inside like its some secret operation that they're gonna go out and get cookies after this.
Gerard wide-eyedly blinks, going along with it.
"Yknow, everyone's in the car." Gerard suggests passively.
Ray opens his bedroom door, kicking away some clothes blocking their entry.
There sat two extraterrestrial beings on his unmade bed. One angelic, however animalistic, and the other slightly grotesque- similar to a guard Gerard had seen on the mothership. Somehow, Ray didn't see the resemblance and just let them right in to his home.
"I made some friends today!" Ray exclaims with joy, clasping his hands together.
Gerard stands gulping in petrification.
"Th-th-the the-" Gee shakily points a finger, as though he is about to detonate.
"What? They're just people, Gee! They asked about you, actually. Rico and Sly ring a bell to ya'?"
"Sly's one word for it," Gerard squints in speculation, "but it don't ring no bells to me." His fear shifting to anger, he stares deadpan at the two aliens who's gazes increase in sincerity.
"Rico" appears to be analysing Gerard's every move, from the way his mouth awkwardly jerks to the left as he speaks to the delayed seconds between each blink of his eye. They've met before. That blinding, white aura radiating off of her skin screams familliar to Gerard like a kettle on a stove. The absence of light makes it easier for Gerard to distinguish her features, just plain old missable stuff- like her blank third eye resting on her forehead, or the scales running down her body. Despite the intimidating presence she gives off, she could easily be percieved as attractive, unconventionally.
All at once, he remembers.
This is a face only he'd see again when his time was due to leave planet Earth.
But why? Why today? What about his friends? His little brother waiting in the car?
"They said something about you needing to go with them? I dunno, family-friend emergency?" Ray informs.
Gerard, his lips beginning to tremble, shakes his head repetitively.
"I can't go yet." He persists through suppressed tears.
"I just can't. Why don't we-"
"There's no need, Gee. Just go." Ray had suddenly begun to act odd, or had Gerard just suddenly noticed?
The more he thought, the more that dawned on him.
Ray isn't this gullible, right? Letting total strangers in, (in our case, aliens) and believing them when they want to whisk Gerard away somewhere unknown? Ray couldn't ever endanger his best friend like that.
"You need to go with them." He adds.
The doorknob behind Gerard had started to insistently creak, before opening with a hustle. Behind said door, entered a paradoxical sight. Another Ray, wearing Gee's striped scarf that he had lended to him, cozied up in his winter coat and his hair tied back under his wooly hat. Behind him, stood Frank, J, and Mikey, who had come along in pure bewilderment.
"I was INSIDE the cafe, dumbasses! It's freezing out there!" Ray exclaims.
"What the fuck... Am I seeing double?" Gerard questions, double taking back and forth between the two Toros, beginning to feel lightheaded and faint.
The three quickly notice the absurdity of this situation, gasping and shrieking at the cloned Toro. Cunning as they are, the aliens always have an instant, emergency resort to being caught. Dissapearing, making Gerard out to be some fool.
The Ray that had lured him into the house begins to disintegrate, it's skin reducing itself to nothing but sands of atomical matter. All that remained of it was an anatomical skeleton hanging on the wall.
Likewise, Gee also begins to dissapear, losing consciousness upon the uncanny sight of his best friend's face melting off, and he flops face-first onto the carpet.
Momentarily, his surroundings cannot decide where they are. Shifting, like a cracked chromatic abberation. Perhaps it's the underlying fear of waking up on that damned ship, lying next to the guilt of unfinished interactions and sayings of goodbyes. Of course, this didn't happen. He just remained. On Ray Toro's carpet.
Without allowing himself a minute of recuperation, he sits up with haste.
"You all saw that, right?!" he pleads.
The three had sat around Gee in a huddle, as though they were whispering away their conflicted thoughts.
"Hello?" he sneers with slight annoyance.
"I told you all that he wasn't lying. I believed him since the beginning!" Ray defends, rushing over to his drawer of handmade tinfoil hats and conspiracy magazines and waving them around enthusiastically.
"Yeah, well, I dearly apologise for not wanting to be involved in some body-snatching shit!" Frank snaps.
"Maybe we should be more concerned as to where he went," Jamia intervenes.
Huh?
Gerard rubs his eyes, soon finding that he was watching from a screen. He struggles to grasp hold of any materialised items, before ripping a virtual headset off of his eyes. The room, if it is one, is dark. Darker than the nights at summer camp, especially without the radiance of the moon keeping him company. Registering the slight malice of the unusual spying eye machine, he tosses it against the solid void, hearing the crash which allowed Gee to confirm the precise proximity of this ambiguous area.
Something taps him from behind, holding a flashlight, visualising the essence of a metal door blocking Gee from uncertain freedom. He hastily turns around in apprehension, before momentarily losing his tension.
"Oh, Lola, it's you," Gerard fails to hold back a slight smile, "You've grown quite a bit."
Lola, who now is less pint-sized and more adult sized, stands up from their sat position, towering over Gerard. Of course, it isn't intimidating at all- moreso, it feels protective and almost reassuring.
"But-" he pauses, growing in upset.
"That means they didn't keep to their fucking side of the deal!"
Lola shakes their head, as though they themself had realised something was wrong with the establishment they'd grown up in. Unsure of any other method of interacting, they open their arms for a comforting embrace.
Gee, disoriented, slowly lies into Lola's thick, fuzzy fur, clinging. Lola truly is the alien-critter depiction of a teddy bear, if there isn't already one. Residing within the two laid an innately strong sense of trust, and by the lonestanding fact that they'd been imprisoned together, it was made clear that their bond was about to strengthen even further.
Tears well up in Gerard's eyes semi-automatically, grateful for Lola's presence but resentful towards the cliffhanger he'd been pushed off from, not being granted a chance to leave the way he had anticipated or had been promised. All he wanted was to say goodbye, leave things in tact. Now, to him, it's all destroyed. Pointless; every friendship that he'd lived around had hit an iceberg eroded by exasperation- and he couldn't even do his usual, futile act of overexplaining the strange phenomena revolving around it.
"Goddamnit," he sniffles, eyes puffy and words slurring, "why can't it just be okay for once?" Gerard weeps into Lola's shoulder.
With their soft paws, they stroke Gee's fluffy ginger head of hair and hold him tighter. They sit together for a little while, not speculating or discussing a plan of escape, but adjusting to eachother's company. Close, but wary. Friendly, but not quite friends yet.
Lost in thought, but on their guard. Perchance they'll escape, or maybe they won't. For now, it's a waiting game. Nonetheless, Gee can't help but wonder from here on out:
How is it going to be?
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seeing as you are a fellow mcr enjoyer i have a question for you of the utmost importance: do you think mike wheeler would like mcr or not
OHOHOHOHO YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE ASKED ME THAT. you just need to know beforehand before i am doing the answering of this uestion that i am ooo osooooo normal about this topic. trust me. the most normal
ok.
he absolutely likes mcr are you kidding me look at this man
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he's struggling with his mental health, he's struggling with his sexuality, he's idolising a dude with long hair, piercings and pronouns, he's trying to be more metal. it's right there. plus the fact that he is just like me fr fr so i am going like this
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and giving him all of my interests + autism (BECAUSE I SAID SO)
so. the question is, what's his favourite album. what's his favourite song. which one of the members does he have a crush on. does he read the killjoys comics. does he listen to summertime at 4am and cry and think about will. ("the song as a whole is about those people you meet who pull you out of your sleep, and make you wake up to real life, the good, beautiful things...")
i think mike would have a contentious relationship with bullets, it took him a long time to get as into it as the other albums, one week its his favourite, one week he hates it etc etc. his all time favourite album is three cheers and he actually told me that himself so idc. black parade is a very close second though, and disenchanted will always make him feel feelings.
favourite songs from all the albums: Our Lady of Sorrows and and Honey This Mirror and Headfirst for Halos (<< ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME IT IS SO HIM) and a smidge of Demolition Lovers. as a treat.
Give Em Hell Kid (BFFR!!!!), The Ghost Of You (another one that makes him feel The Feelings and will get an emotional reaction always. UM SEASON ONE??) and Cemetery Drive.
I Dont Love You, Disenchanted, and Teenagers absolutely. (are you fucking kidding me??? the most mike wheeler songs EVER and i will die on this hill nobody TOUCH ME),
Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back (his self sacrificing instincts are showing), S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W (at first he hates it, but after he reads up on the lore and the whole TTLOTFK thing he gets way into it), and Planetary, for no reason other than it sounds great 👍
EDIT: Conweap his favourite overall is cw5 and his fav songs are Burn Bright, The World Is Ugly and AMBULANCE
he absolutely looked at gerard way and said i need that man's gender RIGHT NOW and was just absolutely in awe of all his tour outfits and woke will up in the middle of the night to show him a video of cheerard with a flamethrower. that was a big 'wait i can dress less masculine if i want to??' thing and helped him find his personal style i think. and i also think. he has a n eeensy weensy teeny little crush. on gerbar. shh.
also.
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look at this dork.
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this absolute cringefail loser.
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this nerdy nerd nerd.
the absolute second that mike finds out there's a comic that inspired danger days, he s p r i n t s to the local bookstore and cleans them out immediately. he binge reads them for like two nights straight and wakes will up constantly because look look LOOK WHAT HAPPENED WILL NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THEY-- he then spends the next month entrenched in killjoy lore and ends up with posters up all around his and will's apartment like this
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trying to figure out the universe. (he also writes fanfiction but nobody tell 🤫)
anyway. this is a. bit of a long post and as you can tell from my introduction i am so so so so normal about mike wheeler, mcr, and my precious little headcanons.
tldr: yes he would love mcr and no one can take that away from me.
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gerardpilled · 2 years ago
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this is kind of off topic so i hope you don't mind the ramble i'm just passionate about this stuff. i for sure agree with you - it's even gone full circle if you look at the evolution of trap and internet rap and playboi carti's whole deal rn if youre familiar with it at all. him and his record label have taken heavy inspiration from early britsh punk rock and post punk acts + even nu metal in music, style, and even in their live shows; nowadays you won't see a single rap show without moshing. their fans are all doing liberty spikes and dressing in all black and styling themselves in tripp pants. again this is straying off topic, but i just find it kinda fascinating
Noo I think it’s on topic and I definitely agree with you. I’m not gonna say I’m the most knowledgeable on this stuff but I have seen people talk about the more goth roots of a lot of rappers today. I think that’s a mix of the fact that the two genres of rock and rap aren’t as different as you’d expect and the younger generation being brought up in a more culturally diverse climate when it comes to the arts.
There’s also a reason why Gerard said in mid 2000s interviews that the best reception within the industry largely came from rappers and hiphop artists lol. Jay-z referencing mcr in a song. A bunch of these rappers revealing they’re mcr fans online. These scenes have always been interconnected and I think a large part of that comes from song writing style.
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practically-an-x-man · 5 months ago
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Get ASKED
(For this ask game)
For Desert song;
4, 23 and 25
For any fic you'd like;
11, 15 and 20
Thank you so much!!
Normally I put the link to the ask game here but since you linked it up top... here, I'll just give you the Crown of the First Ask 👑
For Desert Song:
4. If the fic required it, what did you research in order to write it?
I didn't actually do a whole lot of research for this one!! A lot of the more complicated subjects were areas I already had knowledge in, like anatomy and forensics, and the rest I just made up on the fly lol.
I think the main research I did was for how to write Quinn's disabilities. Many of her experiences with chronic pain and joint problems are pulled from my own life, but the circumstances that led to that (being very different from my own) took a bit of research. Plus, I haven't experienced hallucinations the way she does, so I looked into blogs and posts from people who have experienced them to try and convey them in a realistic, respectful way.
23. How did you come up with the title?
The title is from the My Chemical Romance song called Desert Song, which is given the tag of (Previously Unreleased) on some deluxe albums. It was a song that wasn't meant to be on the album - written when Gerard Way was suicidal, performed while he was drunk, it's incredibly powerful and incredibly rough.
I knew from the beginning that I wanted this fic to be themed around music, particularly punk, metal, and alt rock songs like the type Quinn would listen to. Desert Song in particular worked for the title for a few reasons:
The main setting is the desert, with the airplane graveyard that the ghosts use as their home base. The fic is the song of the desert.
A lot of the lyrics line up with Quinn's experiences - "did we all fall down?", "I can see you awake any time in my head", "from the Earth to the morgue", etc.
The circumstances of the song, like I said above, also echo Quinn's experiences (particularly at the start of the fic, where she's alone and in pain and still grieving her former life)
25. Share your favorite line
Really it's just this last line, but it's only impactful if I share the context too
“Not really.” they admitted, “I mean, I tried. But I guess there’s just a lot about me that tends to… scare people off.” They weren’t going to shy around it. It was the punk-ness. It was the trans-ness. It was the disabled-ness. And maybe it was the fact that it was not just one or two but all three, and that tipped the scales just a little too much. Were there people out there who wouldn’t care? Without a doubt. That was simply statistics. And she wanted to believe the world was good at heart. But she’d just happened to fall on the unlucky side, as she always seemed to. If there were people like that out there, she’d never been lucky enough to stumble across one of them. All she’d managed to run into were… the others. The not-so-greats. The Wait-So-You’ve-Got-A’s and the Can’t-You-Just-Walk’s and the You’d-Be-So-Pretty-If-You-Just’s. It was a lot like the physical therapy, really. After a while, she just gave up on it. Billy was silent for a moment. Finally he squeezed her hand, his fingers warm around her own. “Haven’t scared me off.”
First of all... a lot of this is pulled straight from the heart for me. I am trans, and punk, and disabled, and a lot of Quinn's fears here are the same things that worry me whenever I think about trying to find a partner somewhere out there. It's a really painful passage for me, but also really comforting when we get to Billy's response. A lot of this fic is a reflection of how I wish I could be cared for, and this is one of the more explicit allusions to that.
And even within the fic... I think it shows a lot about their relationship. Up until this point, they've been mostly trying to pretend things are still like they always were - and in some ways they are, but there are also a lot of things that will never be the same, and they can't just ignore that forever.
This line is an admission from Billy in two ways: first, he's admitting that he cares about her on this incredibly deep level, and second, he's acknowledging her disabilities and the way things have changed, while also promising to her that those things aren't going to push him away. It's a really powerful line, especially when he's the type of guy to take so few things seriously most of the time.
____
And honestly I'll just answer these other three for Desert Song too XD
11. What was the most challenging aspect of writing it?
Hm... pacing. I want to keep things moving enough that the action doesn't fade, but I also don't want things to move so fast that we lose Quinn's bonding with the team and her learning to get comfortable with herself. I love writing Quinn and her relationship with Billy so much, it's hard not to get lost in it lol
15. Talk about the characters’ struggles & how you decided on those
I've said it before, but a lot of Quinn's struggles are a reflection of my own. There are differences too, of course: she's transfem and I'm transmasc, her joint problems are much more severe and developed after a single traumatic event while mine are chronic and progressive, and while her learning to cope with her disabilities is very much a reflection of my experiences as a very active kid and teen (I even briefly trained for American Ninja Warrior!) now dealing with progressive health issues, I'm definitely not a pickpocket or parkourist. But she's trans, she's disabled, she's hardcore punk, and so am I, and I use her story almost as a journal to get some of my own feelings out.
As for how I "decided" on those... I was writing Nom De Guerre (my first 6 Underground fic with an entirely different OC) when I came up with the idea of a character who was in the parkour crew with Billy, fell with him, and didn't get lucky the way he did when it came to injuries. That was the first spark of Quinn as a character. The other details sort of fell into place from there.
20. Did you work with a beta? How did that affect the finished fic?
Nope! I have never actually had a beta writer, on any of my fics. No Beta We Die Like Six, or whatever
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angstics · 2 years ago
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it's always been interesting to me that the only thing seemingly "separating" the transgender truthing from the homosexual truthing, in terms of legitimate proof that someone who only knows gerard way through interviews and stage performance could provide, is the history of open gnc-ness. which doesn't really correlate to any kind of transgender identity but obviously i know why people choose to interpret it that way. (even then, the offstage dude kissing could and usually does fill an identical role in other peoples interpretation of gerard as being secretly gay so. shrug). but this time TRUST ME his performance art in solidarity with an oppressed queer group is ACTUALLY him being secretly trans. i try not to engage with any mass discourse events and find the she/her pronoun usage distasteful and just personally uncomfortable, so i dont directly encounter many people who even orbit this kind of discussion lol. im curious what you think about this comparison! and i apologize if anything was worded unclearly :)
this is a big can o worms! i like hearing your thoughts. there’s sooo many different readings on his identity and how the outfits factor into that.
it’s invasive but it’s not the same ethics as theorizing about a friend. understanding an artist is important to people. it’s part of being an artist which is normal but heavily contested. im always reminded of siken’s response to the student who wanted to learn more about his life to understand his poetry lol (he wasnt nice). why would it matter? authenticity, connection, need to label? there’s no universal or moral answer
anyhow back to gerard. the shift from homosexual to transgender truthing is funny! people didnt give up, they just concluded he’s unlabelled gay 😭 not from the on/off stage kissing (which were all performative) but from the tweetsss. “when people try to define your sexuality [morrissey picture]” and “why would i hide it if i was a Homosexual”. the affair conspiracies and gay music themes and general stereotypes probably aided that. whether the assumption is true or false makes no difference. the reasons behind why ppl even make the assumption are so intriguing to think about… but this is already too long.
the “trans truthing” is complicated bc it’s more personal to ppl. im not gonna create a boogeyman. ive seen all of this, some i align with some i dont. putting them in a list cuz it’s easier to read
ppl in my corner of the fandom are comfortable with calling him queer, nb, trans — from most to least common. all as umbrella terms. all to mean not-cis. justification is good ol FLAGGING. like getting an undercut to tell girls yr a dyke without needing to come out. i can expand on this thought process if wanted. ive seen this kinda labeling for YEARS
a lot of ppl i follow stop at gnc because that is the only visibly obvious option. and it’s the term The Advocate used for him in 2018 (tho we gotta note that he didnt self-id — the writer used the same principal of gnc being about presentation over id). the term is treated as if it were between cis and trans. or more accurately, not-cis not-trans.
ive noticed that old/ex fans or outsiders under my 30k cheerleader gifset see the dress as a coming out…? people of 1 and 2 chalk it under that history of gender nonconformity. it’s surprising but makes sense. i think that’s the function of said history
all the egg talk ive seen is on twitter among transfem ppl and tumblr posts in the wild. i searched “gerard way trans” and got so many tweets referencing kurt cobain. that is transfem business, not mine 😭
all this to say that i havent seen anyone in these circles insinuate he was Secretly trans. it’s the same as the gay assumption. it isnt about proving what reality is. just whatever individuals accept as their truth. lots of 1 ppl have said that if he suddenly came out as cis, their perception wouldnt change. i take that to mean bc the performance itself is the person and the performance they see is transgender.
i dont see how art and artist can be separated in performance. what other version of the artist are you getting? i dont know if anyone round here is talking about the couch sitting gerard way. like why would we 😭 even if one does, it’s under the perception of the performance we know. if we werent talking about the performance, we wouldnt even be talking about it. you wouldnt imagine your loved one watching tv. youd sit next to them. look at them. talk to them. YOU KNOW? like this whole debate on whether it’s invasive goes NOWHERE. we arent talking about someone who could be known. we are barely talking about the real person.
and he knows this because anyone with a Name becomes this. the real life person doesnt need defending. he needs respect. to me that means not harassing him, not digging into his private life, not speaking for him. the rest is what feels ok for me. if the environment is uncomfortable, all i can do is share why. which is why talking about it is important.
ill say, im fine with she/her-ing him. i know those arent his defined pronouns. i know i use them as a term of endearment and character-dedication. i know when to avoid them. i personally dont believe in rigid pronoun use. i don’t believe in there being a handbook of rules of what is or isnt rude (not to say there arent general rules). you learn person to person.
goes back to the Pursuit of Universal Morality. god i remember last year getting so mad at the trans labelling id leave tumblr to complain on twitter. but ive changed my tune to seeing the non-cis ambiguity. not because of Evidence but because i found comfort in that connection. i wasnt wrong then, am not wrong now.
it isnt really about him, it’s about what he says and does. which IMO he’s likely to accept as an artist.
so yeah. TLDR: posts that are like “how can you say he’s [cis/trans] if X?!” are really just stating their own perception. even if they uncritically believe what theyre saying is reality, it’s THEIR reality. there is no difference btwn “his performance art in solidarity with an oppressed queer group” and “him being secretly trans”.
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wildwinterlunas · 1 year ago
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May we discuss other characters that Talon managed to manipulate and completely destroy? Widowmaker is a show of just how badly it can get. They also had made Gérard LaCroix a mess of an agent from how frantic and desperate he had become trying to find Amelié. Physically broke him, you could see it in ways characters talk about him, the man was about to crumble if not already.
I'm not sure if you're willing to analyze this, but you can see how Doomfist's voice lines are quite literally sugarcoated, but also he is picking an prodding at what he knows the character's are interested in.
Hell, he even gives Brigitte advice on becoming a good leader during idle interactions, and is constantly indulging and influencing other character's desires and interests at some points.
Talon agents are something else completely.
Ok so in my analysis post in the section where I talk about where Talons manipulation fails I was going to talk about Cassidy and Hanzo but I decided I wanted to keep the post purely Talon focused. But you saying this gives me a reason to talk about how Talon's influences people outside of Talon.
Like you said Gerard was a mess after Amelie was taken, and I think this was an unintended effect that worked in Talon's favor. Gerard's desperation combined with how close he was with Jack and Gabe probably lead to a lot of things being rushed. Leading to Amelie being able to go home without anyone, not even Angela, detecting that she had been made into a sleeper agent. There is also the fact that it's implied that Moira and Gabriel aren't the only ex-Blackwatch agents to have joined Talon, in fact it seems that a lot of Blackwatch joined Talon if they weren't already a part of Talon.
And with Doomfist, he's probably one of my favorite villains in any media I've consumed. I just love to hate him, and the fact that a lot of fans don't credit him as being the main villain is criminal. What I like the most is the fact that though he is a physically strong character, he doesn't always win, in fact we see him loose most of the time, he's gotten his ass beat by Winston, Orisa and it's hinted that he's fought with Asa sensei, Kiriko's mum. He's not shown to be this unbeatable force, he's shown to be human and that's the terrifying part.
As for his interactions he definitely makes himself appear to be one of the nicer Talon agents. I think this is best seen in his interaction with Brig, as you pointed out, and his interactions with Cassidy. He actively says that Cassidy didn't fail Overwatch, that he would be welcomed in Talon. The thing is with Cassidy interactions he, unlike with other characters, doesn't know what he wants. Going off of surface level things that anyone could pick up.
That's the interesting thing, Doomfist is only good at manipulating characters who both wear their heart on their sleeve and are in a place of vulnerability. Whether it's to get them to join him or get under their skins. We see with the characters that are more logical thinkers, like Cassidy and Moira, when he tires to pull out the manipulation, they're more vaguely annoyed then deeply effected. Moira doesn't want to go onto the field and Cassidy doesn't want to join Talon, they're sure about this and no amount of manipulation will change that.
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wav48k · 2 years ago
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i think that gerard tweet wasn’t the sole reason but more so the fact he’s been playing up ambiguity sexuality wise on social media even before by constantly diverting attention from questions abt it and purposely dancing around it but i agree
i was posting about that one specific tweet and its use as seeming "hard" "evidence" that people use and accept as "proof," rather than the general phenomenon of people finding whatever they can to support gerard being not straight in some way, but yeah absolutely theres other stuff from his time on social media that can be presented in the same way! esp when you line it all up in a neat little compilation and then wink meaningfully at the reader. this is literally how the petekey doc et al. get people lol, though obviously you have to have rpf goggles on in the first place to see #proof of gay bandom shipping and go "yeah this seems like the whole truth with no editorializing or misrepresentation." but thats off topic.
hes always had fun fucking with people who want to believe something about him, and if those people were weird invasive fans instead of homophobic warped tour rejects in the later years then more power to him! but expecting that to mean something about him personally is like expecting the stage gay to mean something about him personally 🕯️ just because hes not literally physically on a stage doesnt mean hes not acting a certain way on purpose for reactions/fun/art lol
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ollieofthebeholder · 2 years ago
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to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest): a TMA fanfic
<< Beginning < Prev. || AO3
Chapter 31: January 2010
Gerard slips into the room, closing the door as quietly as he can behind him, and gives his eyes a second to adjust. It’s dark, not necessarily by design, but it is well after sundown and the curtains are tightly closed. The green glow of the luminescent hands of the alarm clock on the nightstand gives texture to some of the shadows around it, but little more than that.
“Hey,” he says, keeping his voice as low as possible. “How is he?”
“Sleeping. I think.” Melanie’s voice is barely above a whisper. She sits at the side of the bed, both hands wrapped loosely around one of Martin’s. “He’s not fighting things that aren’t—that I can’t see, anyway.”
Gerard comes closer and sits beside Melanie. As usual, he’s struck by the difference between this room and his own, or Melanie’s. Gerard’s room, one of the few spaces in his life he’s always had control over, can be most charitably described as organized chaos, his clothing spilling out of boxes rather than bothering to put it away and the carpet and wall behind and beneath his easel splattered with long-dried paint, all the furniture and woodwork painted or stained as dark as he could get it and a haphazard collection of tapes and CDs littering the area around his stereo. Melanie’s, especially these days, frequently looks like a small localized tornado has swept through, and her walls are so covered with band posters and pictures cut out of magazines and photographs of the three of them that you can’t see the original wallpaper, but the furniture is the same white gilt-edged furniture she inherited from her late mother that she’s used her whole life.
By contrast, Martin’s room is neat as a pin, all his belongings carefully tucked away out of sight, the walls perfectly blank and painted in clean, light colors. The furniture is cheap but serviceable, although the bed is of surprisingly good quality and size (or would be if Gerard didn’t know it used to be Roger and Lily’s), and everything is laid out very precisely and logically. There’s no decoration, no personalization, no expression of individuality.
Gerard knows that at least part of that is because Martin always had trouble focusing on his homework as a kid if there was literally anything to distract him, but damn, he’s a grown adult with a job now. Surely he can let himself have something. On the other hand, part of it is also that he’s ever so slightly paranoid about losing things the second they’re out of his line of sight and thus minimizes the clutter and places for things to hide as much as possible, and Gerard isn’t sure how to alleviate that. Especially not since there’s a good reason for him to fear it.
He reaches out and gently lays the back of his hand against Martin’s forehead. “Jesus. He’s still burning up.”
“Maybe we should take him back to the A&E.” Melanie’s voice wavers uncertainly. “That doctor said he’d be fine with a bit of rest, but…it’s been three days.”
Gerard worries at his lower lip for a moment. He’s never going to forgive himself for this.
He’s been touring the continent for the last few months, mostly in the south, trying to get away from…everything. Chasing he doesn’t know what. Freedom? Change? He never planned to be gone forever, just long enough for things to settle a bit. His thought was to take a year, learn a few things, and then come home in time for Martin’s birthday in August. It was when he’d called to find out if Melanie had got the Christmas present he’d posted from Athens that he changed his plans.
It’s been an unusually cold, wet winter, and while Martin never complains, and wouldn’t have said a word even if either of them had been in town, Gerard likes to think he would have at least bought his brother a decent pair of boots. Instead he’s been walking around in shoes that aren’t waterproof with the soles nearly worn through, without a warm enough coat, and the car finally gave up the ghost three weeks before Gerard left the country. No wonder he’s sick now.
Bronchitis. Not as bad as it could be, but bad enough, and Martin let it go untreated too long, according to Melanie. Unsurprising, since he’s been alone for the last few weeks, between Gerard being thousands of miles away on holiday and Melanie trying to get that ghost-hunting show off the ground, and also because it’s Martin, who will run himself into the ground to take care of the people around him but would rather chew off his own arms than admit he needs it too.
Gerard is just thankful Melanie made it home from her filming a couple days before Martin collapsed while trying to re-shelf some books. And that he called her when he did instead of a few days earlier, because if he’d moved on to another country, she wouldn’t have been able to let him know what’s going on.
“They discharged him, though, right?” he asks. “I mean, he was at the A&E and they said he was good to go home?”
“Honestly, I think they were overfull and didn’t consider him a priority,” Melanie grumbles. “But he was awake…sort of…and we got an official discharge with a prescription, but the second I got him home…” She nods at the bed.
Gerard swears softly under his breath. “I’m rubbish at this.”
“Me, too. I thought I could do this because Martin always did it for me—and for Dad and Lily—and I thought I’d learned from watching him, but…” Melanie won’t meet Gerard’s eyes. “Martin never let it get this bad when it was us.”
“We weren’t here.” It’s a weak excuse and Gerard knows it. Even if he’d been in London, the likelihood he would have noticed anything until it was too late is slim to none. Since the incident with that early edition of Stand Still Like the Hummingbird a few years back, he’s become adept at spotting when Martin’s mental health is starting to fray, but hell, Gerard can barely tell when he’s starting to actually get sick with something serious, let alone when Martin “it’s supposed to do that” Blackwood is. Besides, Martin isn’t the sort to give in to illness. Partly it’s the same situation as Gerard and the migraines he’s finally outgrown—that his being sick was never taken seriously growing up, that he was expected to suck it up and deal—but partly it’s that he focuses so hard on taking care of others that he won’t let himself be sick. For him to be like this…
Gerard hears an odd sound, only obvious because of how quiet the room is—a faint rustling, a riffling of cardboard—coming from Melanie’s direction and frowns at her. “Neens? What are you doing?”
Melanie stills, her head still bowed, looking at whatever is in her hands. “I won’t lose him.”
“Melanie.” Gerard’s stomach lurches as he realizes what she’s holding. He reaches over and covers it with his hands. “Do you actually think you can cheat Death?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, yes, you can, but—Melanie, you know you won’t like the consequences.”
“Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.” Melanie’s voice is nearly inaudible. “To be trapped by one of Them forever, if it means you and Martin are okay…I’d put up with a lot for that.”
Gerard gently cups Melanie’s chin and turns her head in his direction, forcing her to look at him. “He will never forgive himself if you bind yourself to one of the Fourteen for him. Ever.”
Melanie’s eyes brim with tears, and she pushes his hand away roughly, but she does put the deck of cards in the drawer of the nightstand. “I fucking hate you.”
“So what else is new?”
They sit in silence for several more minutes, listening to Martin’s raspy, labored breathing. Finally, Gerard breaks it, just because he can’t stand the sound. “Bets on whether we’ll be able to get him to stay in bed once he wakes up?”
“He’s going to stay in this bed until he’s well if I have to tie him to it and sit on him,” Melanie says fiercely. “If he gets up he’ll just get sick again. I mean it, Gerry, I am not losing him. Not him or you. Not to something like this.”
“It’s not the way I’d want to go out,” Gerard agrees. Not that he thinks he’ll have the luxury of dying of old age, not with the life they lead, but getting taken out by something preventable like a virus just feels anticlimactic and unfair. He’s sure he’ll end up dying at the hands of one of the Fourteen, probably in agony. He just hopes it’s not in front of Melanie or Martin.
Melanie lifts her hand and begins brushing Martin’s hair back from his forehead in soft, rhythmic strokes. After a moment, she begins humming, then singing softly. Gerard recognizes it as the old seamen’s hymn, the one Martin sings sometimes when he feels sad or lonely. When he feels the fog closing in, as he puts it. Gerard joins in as soon as he remembers where the words are going, trying to keep his voice as low as possible.
The tattoos on his joints give a dull, pulsing throb, and Gerard realizes they aren’t just singing for no reason, even if Melanie thought they were when she started. Something is trying to get at them, probably the Lonely, and the song is helping to push it back. Maybe.
Martin’s breath hitches, then evens out. Slowly, almost painfully, his lashes flutter open, and he squints up into the darkness. “Melanie?” he croaks. His eyes widen suddenly, and he tries to lift a hand to her face. “Melanie, your—eyes—”
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Melanie says gently. She grabs at something on the bedside table—Gerard is about to reprimand her for going for the cards—then comes back with Martin’s glasses and slides them onto his face before leaning over to kiss his forehead. “There. Better?”
Martin blinks slowly once, twice, then nods. “Yeah,” he says, sounding uncertain and disorientated. “What…time is it?”
“Half-two,” Gerard says with a quick glance at the alarm clock. “In the morning, not in the afternoon.”
“Gerry…?” Martin tries to sit up. Both Melanie and Gerard make noises of concern and try to stop him. “What…are you doing…here?”
“I came back when Melanie told me you were sick.” Gerard concedes the inevitable and gets up to help Martin into a reclining position, leaning against the headboard and propped against his pillows so he can—hopefully—breathe. “What, did you think I’d just say ‘oh, well, that sucks’ and keep traipsing across the continent?”
“I mean…yes?” Martin blinks at him, evidently confused. “I’m not sick?”
“You are,” Melanie says, her voice wavering between exasperation and worry. “The doctor at the A&E said it was bronchitis.”
Martin turns his confusion on Melanie. “When was I at the A&E?”
“Three days ago. You fainted at work and they called an ambulance for you.”
Martin coughs, a wheezing, rattling thing that sends a spike of anxiety up Gerard’s spine, and Melanie hands him a glass of water that she’s evidently had waiting for him. “Okay. Maybe I am sick.” He takes a sip of water, then looks up at Gerard, guilt written all over his face. “I’m sorry you cut your holiday short.”
“I’m not. Traveling alone was starting to get old anyway.” Gerard sits on the edge of Martin’s bed and pats his leg under the blanket. “And since I’m here, I can help Melanie force you to stay in bed until you’re actually over this.”
Martin opens his mouth to protest, but Melanie forestalls him. “Shut up. You’re not putting me through this again. If you try to get up too soon, you’ll just get sick again, and next time it might turn into pneumonia. You are going to stay in this bed until your fever’s been down for at least twenty-four hours without medication and I’m satisfied you’re back to normal.”
Gerard can’t help but smile a little. “Dr. King has spoken.”
“You can shut up, too.”
Martin sighs. “If I went to the A&E from the Institute, I’ll have to have a doctor’s note to go back to work anyway. Good job I’ve got plenty of sick time, I guess.”
“Have you taken a sick day since you started?” Gerard asks.
“No, not really. A personal day here and there, but nothing like this.”
Melanie hesitates. “There was a text a couple days ago—I didn’t recognize the number and it’s not saved in your phone, but whoever it was told you that you had plenty of time built up, and not to come back until you were ‘properly well’ because ‘the Library needs you at your best’. So I think you’ll be okay.”
“That’s…not as comforting as you might think.” Martin lets his head bang gently against the wall and closes his eyes for a moment. “All right. You win. I’ll be good.” He yawns, then breaks off into a coughing fit. “Ugh. I think I’m going back to sleep for a bit. Um, I’ve still only got the sofa, but—“
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not leaving you.” Melanie scoots the chair closer to make her point.
Gerard nods in agreement. “Get some sleep, both of you. I’ll be here.”
It’s a sign of how sick Martin is that he complies immediately, letting his eyes drift shut and his shoulders relax. It’s also a sign of how little sleep Melanie’s had in the last three days that she folds her arms on the side of Martin’s bed, rests her head on them, and falls asleep barely a heartbeat later. Gerard slips out to the living room long enough to grab the knitted throw Martin made when he was twelve, then tosses it over Melanie’s shoulders before settling onto the end of the bed cross-legged to watch them.
He doesn’t regret coming back. Not in the slightest. The trip’s been good for him, but he’s glad to be home, even under the circumstances. And when Martin is better, he’ll be gladder still. For now, he sets himself to keeping an eye on his brother and sister. He doesn’t doubt for a minute that Melanie’s been wearing herself to a thread with fretting, and she needs looking after as much as Martin does, in a way.
That’s his job. He may not be as good at it as Martin—nobody is, really—but he’s still the big brother, and he still feels a need to look after them. He probably always will.
After all, he loves them, and love is worth the work put into it.
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edienotsedgwick · 2 years ago
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Saw these tags in response to this post and it made me chuckle a bit as someone who’s only personality trait at the moment is being autistic as fuck about both these bands
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Nicky Wire definitely has had unwarranted beef with many bands/musicians over the years (it’s a part of his charm to me - go off with your silly little opinions king), but surprisingly My Chem have never been one of those bands! Dare I say they’re probably one of the only bands I can think of that he’s claimed to at least RESPECT right out of the gate. That’s a rare feat to achieve considering this is a man who’s historically had a reputation for hating everyone!
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This is just one example of something he’s said about MCR, he considers them to be somewhat carrying the torch of what the manics (particularly Richey) were doing when they started! Being a band with the desire to turn as many heads as possible, make larger than life statements/tell interesting stories with their art, and encourage people to change the world. In a shorter summary, Nicky Wire was embracing this comparison years before I think any of us were drawing these parallels to begin with.
I feel like he’s also said something along the lines of considering The Black Parade one of the best recent rock records he’s heard but I can’t find that interview for the life of me, I’m gonna have to get one of my manics mutuals who’s quite the archivist to dig that up at some point.
(I don’t know personally what James and Sean think about MCR cause there’s been no documentation of their personal opinions on the matter and they’ve always preferred to let Nicky talk for them, but I feel in my heart that James and Ray would get along for some reason. That’s just me projecting though!)
My favourite thing about all of this though is that the respect between MCR and the manics is mutual. Gerard and Mikey have been citing them as an influence for a long time! I can’t be assed to dig for interview clips of them talking about the manics, but this Gerard tweet (nickyposting on MAIN- they’re just like me fr) and this pic of Mikey wearing a Lifeblood t-shirt should say everything that needs to be said (side note: Mikey is so real for being a Lifeblood enjoyer, Lifeblood haters DNI that album is in my top 3 manics albums)
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(TLDR) there is no evidence whatsoever of MSP looking down on MCR, there is however evidence of the opposite, and even more evidence of the love being mutual! These bands are cousins/contemporaries and they like each-other :) I think they should tour together at some point even though it would probably make my brain explode.
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Here's my resignation, I'll serve it in drag! / All rock and roll is homosexual
Manic Street Preachers and My Chemical Romance on defying gender and sexuality norms
nicky wire photographed by mick hudson / gerard way at Riotfest / mama by mcr / born a girl by msp / richey edwards / gerard way by kenneth capello / frank iero / james dean bradfield / a version of reason by rob jovanovic / interview with gerard way / frank iero's pansy guitar / richey edwards fairy t-shirt
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