#and i was skinny and young and cis

[dinopant]

i need to move out of this 'idk what im doing with myself' phase in my life and start doin shit that makes me feel like it matters

[interruptingkau]

My Girl Experience seems like it was a lil different than the ones I read about. When I was a kid I really roundly rejected feminine stuff, and looking back, a huge part of it was feeling that by being fat, I didn't "deserve" to wear dresses or jewelry or whatever else. I had the intense feeling of being an ugly kid playing dressup and it being very obvious I didn't belong. I still feel like I have to justify my femininity sometimes? Like I have to "prove" that I deserve to like pretty things? It's so bizarre. I felt like a disgusting imposter for so long.

[autistic-katara]

if there’s one thing abt staying up rlly late it’s that it gives u the best lore-dreams

[crazyw3irdo]

trying to find reference images for specific types of people always makes me feel like im a second away from getting put on a watchlist

[bylertruther]

evil post incoming but um. i think some of u underestimate just how much strength it takes to hold someone bridal style let alone carry them like that and also fail to understand tht being thin and tall does not mean that u automatically weigh less in gen and esp in comparison to people shorter than u but i'm 😴😴😴😴

[foxboyclit]

its easy to envy the cast of like, critical role and bg3 for having other people depict your characters but honestly if i saw fanart/mods that made my ocs conventionally attractive id start killing

[punkitt-is-here]

I'm very fortunate I don't need this but there's gotta be more fat trans women characters for hundreds of young trans women to latch on to. I love Bridget and all the numerous incredible trans rep we've had recently with all my heart but too many girls are latched onto the idea that they gotta be skinny little anime girls to be happy or loved. No u don't!!!! There are cis women every day who are fat and awesome and gorgeous and look like you and you don't need to idolize the idea of perfect skinny beauty to be happy or comfortable or a "real" woman!!!!

[cinna-wanroll]

The Twinkification of Obi-Wan Kenobi

Hi everyone! I have emerged from the abyss to posit an opinion and analysis about something that has been ongoing in my corner of the fandom for some time now and I just wanted to share my thoughts. Please note that this is not meant to be a call-out post. If you have made references to Obi-Wan being a twink, we are cool, we simply have a difference of opinion! As always this blog is an open space where people from across the fandom are welcomed and loved.

With that being said:

The Co-Opting of "Twink"

It isn't uncommon to come across the term "twink" nowadays while scrolling the social medias. In fact, there are several videos referencing men, both real and fictional, using "twink" as a kind of affectionate endearment.

Is there a big, beefy man who shows his emotions in your favorite TV show? Chances are he has been called a twink.

Looking at a cute post of a straight couple? There is a chance the woman has captioned her post with: I love my twink boyfriend! :)

Is there a trans man on your for you page? Peer in the comments: chances are he, too, has people teeming in his comments to call him a twink.

Let us be clear: this is not what the word "twink" means.

The term "twink" is a queer term that has become so mangled and co-opted by cis, straight people (especially women) that it has become misused across the internet. So what is it, exactly? "Twink" is a queer identifier. Traditionally, the term refers to gay men who are:

Thin

Not very muscular

Not hairy

Young

Of course, there is always room for nuance. Also, there are so many layers to this conversation I have not and will not address fully. However, the main purpose of this conversation is to discuss its relation to Obi-Wan Kenobi.

So You Want to Woobify a Warrior

Most of the time when I see someone refer to Obi-Wan as a twink, it is in reference to mid-thirties, mid or post-war Obi-Wan. I am not going to address sexuality here because I am a firm believer in allowing people their interpretations of characters' sexualities. Instead, here are some photos of Obi-Wan Kenobi during and a bit after the era previously mentioned, and of his actor, Ewan McGregor:

Here are some things of note: Ewan and Obi-Wan are not especially petite. They are muscular, hairy, and visibly middle-aged. Or at least, visibly older than 20s.

In Karen Miller's Wild Space, Bail Organa throws up in his hands out of fear when Obi-Wan is having hallucinations and moves to attack him.

In Christie Golden's Dark Disciple, he punches a droid in the face and it stumbles back.

My point here is that Obi-Wan is intimidating. He underwent years of rigorous training, fought in battle after battle, and is an expert in martial arts. The chances of him escaping that with the appearance of being boyish, early 20s, skinny, and not muscular seem... slim. War does not typically have anti-aging effects.

I once saw someone on this app make a point that because Obi-Wan is portrayed as the more intuitive and emotionally regulated character in contrast to Anakin's brash violence, he is perceived as more feminine. Therefore, he is more "coddleable." And, furthermore, the "feminine" narrative lends itself to the stereotypical parts of the label of twink. (Again, there is a deeper conversation to be had there. I am generalizing).

Unless Obi-Wan has been extensively malnourished, shaved, and de-aged, I don't see sense in seeing him as a twink.

The part of all this with even more implications associated is that I see a lot of this mentioned in relationship to Obi-Wan being in a relationship with Cody. There is a lot of comparison there, usually positioning Cody as the strong, indestructible warrior of whom Obi-Wan is either envious of or saved by. The racist undertones there are infinite and have been addressed and readdressed, especially by POC in the fandom.

Anyways gorgeous people, this concludes my thoughts, as it is very late. I am hoping to be able to participate in Codywan First Kiss Bingo, but I was hit with the flu and have been working diligently to catch up in my uni classes. I love you all and wish you nothing but the best!

[dasha-aibo]

This is gonna be long and rambling, but it's something very personal, so strap in, I guess.

My "trans awakening" was in the mid-00s, back when a lot of language was not set, the community was atomized and it was just not an Accepted Thing To Be.

Back then, you had to scour shady self-hosted websites to get in touch with anyone. But because I was not ready to go out of the closet, I mainly lurked. And, because I was a horny teenager, I consumed a lot of "magical gender transformation" erotica.

Being trans overall was rough back in the mid-00s. Trans men were basically invisible and trans women were assumed to be either predatory drag queens, parodies of women, or demure housewives.

To this day I feel uneasy around drag queens, through no fault of their own. I didn't want to be a parody of a woman. I didn't want to be loud and over-the-top and exaggerated in femininity.

I just wanted to be Me, but a cis woman.

True, I probably would've allowed myself a more feminine expression than I even allowed myself during my brief skinny and on HRT stint. But I would've still acted and had the same interests as myself.

Now let's get back to that pesky erotic fiction.

Mostly I consumed written erotica. There was just more of it and with the lower entry barrier, it was easier to find. It was also, for the most part, garbage.

There were four main types of stories. The Bimbofication, the Stepfordication, the one-off stint and The One I Actually Liked.

Bimbofication and the one-off were mainly sex-based. Focused on the pleasure you would experience in the woman's body and how much you would be driven mad with lust. Obedience and shame kink were also pretty heavily involved.

The Stepfordication went a step further and involved a complete mental shift into a 50s housewife stereotype, complete with a pregnancy fetish.

I never liked those. They never spoke to me and, frankly, grossed me out. They had the same general vibe as the drag queens I feared. An adoption of shallow stereotypical femininity and an embracing of all the sexism that came with it.

The few stories I actually liked were more thoughtful. They never destroyed the protagonists' personality and even if the newly-acquired womanhood influenced them, it was more subtle and never radically changed them. Oftentimes it was about the internal struggle, the acceptance, the contemplation, with some sexy times thrown in.

What can I say, I was in my teens.

But those stories were rare. And as the time went on and I tried interacting with more trans people, I found that the majority of them I found online kind of aligned with the first three types more. I felt alienated and withdrew into myself.

Then the 2010s came. I was an adult, I had my own views and my own very complicated relationship with gender. And I saw a wave of very young, for the lack of a better word, punk people, treat being trans as a fun game of dress-up.

I lashed out. I was an asshole to them, when I didn't need to. I felt like they were making a mockery of my complicated journey of self-acceptance.

I made a some transmed friends. Mostly angry trans dudes, who loved slinging shit with me. But then the community fell apart. Some of it was just people getting exhausted. Some, like me, realized the pettiness and the pointlessness of it all. Some did a 180 and went full TERF.

And, once again, I was left alone.

To this day, it's hard to me to interact with other trans people. Especially trans women. I feel othered and alienated, because their experience doesn't resemble mine. Regardless of how much erotica I consumed, it never was a fetish for me. I just... Tried to explore my sexuality, while accepting that I can't be called a cis straight men, like the society expected me to identify.

I don't fit in with the old, I don't fit in with the new.

I just feel isolated and I don't know how to break this.

All through the lens of my horny teens, 20 years ago.

Being an adult trans person sucks, kids.

[hexb0nes]

i’m sooo normal about your writing omg. could i maybe request some t4t jayce x transmasc reader headcanons (or anything else) please? either sfw or nsfw are completely fine i leave that up to you, i’m just in love with the way you write jayce (and viktor too, of course)

a/n: YEAH T4T JAYCE & READER WOOOOOOO!!!! best ask ever, i put my heart & soul into this <3 thank you for such kind words, i hope you enjoy this t4t transmasc!jayce x transmasc!reader post!

you and jayce have known each other since you were little kids, your moms being best friends

your moms would often joke about how close the two of you were, something about how your husbands wouldn’t be able to separate such a friendship from you

however, you end up moving away and lose touch with jayce for a solid decade before you find one another again

it had been 4 years since coming out and beginning your transition when you moved to piltover for a new job, so you’re certain that people wouldn’t other you because of how similar you looked to a cis man

you end up working at the academy as a biomedical researcher, on the same floor as the lab used by the renowned ‘man of progress’

you have no clue who that is but judging by people’s reactions, he was a well-liked and very important guy

regardless, you adjust well to your new job over a few months and even make a few friends, one being sky young, the assistant of the hextech inventors

you two hit it off well and she wants to introduce you to the inventors for a potential collaborative project

so you agree and let sky drag you off to the hextech lab, chattering with glee about the chance of hextech becoming integrated with biomedical technology

now you’re in the lab and there’s two guys, a skinny pale one with a crutch too busy soldering some wires to acknowledge you and a buff tanned one hammering something metal

‘damn, that guy’s BULIT’ you are forced to push the horny thoughts aside and keep your professional composure

sky introduces you to the pale guy first, viktor; you greet him and he gives you a nod before resuming his work

the other guy, though, was much more engaging, as sky waves him over and he immediately stops what he’s doing to do so

sky tells you that the massive buff man before you was jayce talis, the man of progress

you laugh a bit and ask if he had a cousin, much to his confusion; you then explain how your childhood best friend had the same last name and you knew it wasn’t very common

jayce goes silent and lets the gears in his brain turn before his eyes widen to the size of saucers

he pulls you aside and asks if you were who he thought you were, you ask him to elaborate and he deadnames you

so now you two are pointing at the other in surprise, realizing that you both transitioned

you laugh over it and jayce invites you out for a drink to catch up, which you happily accept

fast forward to the evening, you and jayce head out to a bar and talk about everything the other missed since your separation

the night is filled with laughter, drunken antics, and joy; it feels like you’re playing in the fields outside jayce’s childhood home again, just like old times

the two of you get pretty drunk so jayce hails a carriage and takes you two to his and viktor’s apartment, knowing viktor’s working late at the lab anyway

at the apartment, the two of you talk more, about your transitions, your relationships, your work, etc. when jayce suddenly blurts out that he’s so happy that “you’re not a girl anymore” because he wasn’t sure if he would still “have a huge crush” on you after exploring his sexuality in conjunction with his transition

you go quiet and jayce realizes what he says, he begins profusely apologizing but you shut him up with a kiss

you make out sloppy style on the living room floor of the apartment, minds hazy from the liquor and the confession

by morning, jayce wakes up and finds you asleep, holding his side like a teddy bear, while a note from viktor is taped by the wall

‘jayce, i had to gather the assistance of our neighbors to put you two in your bed. don’t this a recurring problem. —viktor”

[gor3sigil]

Hi ! I’m a 29 year old trans man from France, and I really like reading your blog. You write very eloquently and what you have to share is important. It’s bittersweet for me to finally encounter people talking about transandrophobia. I’ve been trying to talk about it for years. My heart breaks when I think about all the young trans men and transmasculine people who grow up hating themselves because of both the societal transphobia and the transandrophobia of queer spaces. I detransitioned for 4 years, partly because I felt so alienated. A woman I loved and looked up to, who calls herself a feminist, told me that after my first testosterone injection I could not talk about feminism anymore. She said I was now on the side of the oppressor. She stated that she would support me as an individual but that her fight was for women, cis or trans, and I had to stay quiet and let women speak. She, in fact, did not support me as an individual either. When I was an androgynous non binary person she would compliment me all the time. When I transitioned, she started to grow colder and patronizing with me. She blocked me after I made a general post to talk about my experiences and explain, in a very gentle way, how trans men experience misogyny in a lot of spaces, misandry in queer and feminist spaces, and transphobia everywhere, and how our fights are intertwined with feminist fights.

Another trans man from France hooray !! I'm very glad you shared your experience, partly because I relate to it a lot (idk if you've seen the post I made about how I detransitioned for a year and it was partly due to the mistreatment I've been getting because I was a trans dude), and also because it's so important to spread the word. I'm really sorry you went through that. I had the same type of shit from women that I considered my sisters before transitioning, who ditched me like crap when I started using he/him pronouns. Since you're french too, I'd like to point something that I noticed in the french trans community (maybe you'll disagree and that's totally fair), is that anti transmasculinity and radfem ideologies are VERY LOUD in queer spaces and that trans men often play a part in it. I saw 2 separate videos recently from two trans men youtuber (who I will not name publicly for obvious reasons but you can ask me in DMs if you want) who both made videos asking if "Men are trash" included trans men, and both I found... Well, wrong, in a lot of ways. Because the main argument is that trans men who medically transition, do so with the intent of being treated and perceived in society AS men (or if this wasn't the intent, this is what happens anyways), and so basically take the role of men in the patriarchy, so the role of the oppressor. The second video was a bit more nuanced with the idea that not all trans men do transition medically, some don't pass etc but still, I find it appalling to see that almost every transmasc creator I see, who makes content in french at least, talk about transmasculinity in a way that is almost exclusively "AFAB perisex person who wants to be a Neo Cis Man". Which is, at least from all the people I've talked to since coming out in 2017, not the case for a vast majority of people, and even when it IS the case, trans men don't, and I say that with my whole chest, they DON'T have cis men privileges and they ARE NOT in a position of power over women, ESPECIALLY cis women. Well, that's my way of seeing things anyways. I really hope our local activists will stick their heads out of their white, skinny, cis passing trans men asses and start taking a look at the actual experiences of the many more of us. It'd be a nice change of pace. Thank you for your comment and sorry for the rant lmao

[angelellipsis-devilofdots]

happy pride month to:

poc queer people. you guys deserve just as much representation as white queer people and you're beautiful as hell. ❤️

white queer people. remember to be allies to poc and let them into the spotlight as well, it's our mission to listen to and support them. 🧡

fat queer people. you're gorgeous and deserve so much love. your bodies are so wonderful, never apologize for being you. 💛

skinny queer people. you're beautiful and i see you. remember to help lift up fat queer people this pride month. 💚

cis queer people. be a trans ally always, and speak up for your transgender and transsexual siblings. 🩵

trans queer people. you are so powerful, you're all lovely and such fighters in this world. 💙

nonbinary queer people. no matter how you choose to present, you are valid and never let anyone tell you who you should be. 💜

straight queer people. you are just as valid as the rest of us. never let anyone exclude you from your community. ❤️

arospec queer people. your love is beautiful, even if it's not what society considers to be standard or status quo. 🧡

acespec queer people. whether sex-repulsed, sex-favorable, or anywhere between, you belong on this spectrum. 💛

allo queer people. remember to be a representative of your aspec and arospec fellow queers and be an ally to them always. 💚

closeted queer people. we welcome you no matter your situation, thank you for being so brave. 🩵

out queer people. being out and proud is inspiring. let's all show support for the closet queers. 💙

young queer people. we are the future and we can make a real difference in the world for future generations. 💜

old queer people. thank you for building us safe spaces and paving the way for us, we have so much to thank you for. ❤️

disabled queer people. even if you can't celebrate pride the way you want, i love you and i see you. 🧡

able-bodied queer people. let's work together to create safe, accessible spaces for our disabled queer siblings. 💛

neurodivergent queer people. we'll fight to create sensory-friendly pride spaces, you'll all wonderful. 💚

neurotypical queer people. help us work to create our safe spaces as well, i appreciate all support you can give to us. 🩵

religious queer people. you are seen and loved by any deity or deities that you believe in. 💙

atheistic/agnostic queer people. never let anyone make you believe that you're invalid for not following or believing in a religion. 💜

and literally any brand of queer people i forgot. pride is for you. i love every single one of you 💞

[transharmful-angel]

I love men. I love men sm. They are so pretty and handsome and hot. I love cis men, I love trans men, I love chubby men, I love skinny men, white men, black men, asian men I DONT CARE. I love all of them. Old men? HOT. Young men? HOT. "Ugly" men? HOT.

I NEED a cute, hot, handsome bf that lets me do wtv to him its not a want anymore. I LOVE MEN!!!

[enbycrip]

Binary gendered people, can I please ask you, if you are writing or creating anything - from homebrew campaigns to published media - and you are thinking about nonbinary rep, not to *only* do it as with someone who is some form of shapeshifter?

Yes, there are complex and interesting questions to be raised about how perceived gender shapes a person’s experience. Yes, a lot of nonbinary folk *empathise* with amd see ourselves represented in shapeshifting characters - and what this is categorically NOT is a request to try to block nonbinary spectrum folk from playing shapeshifters, whatever that means in your setting.

But in real life every nonbinary spectrum person out there lives with a meatsuit that in fact stays very much the same.

We might get moments of serious euphoria by playing with presentations that massively shift how we *appear* to others; that give us a little bit of the potential experience as shapeshifting. But at the end of the day we are still stuck with a meatsuit that in fact does *not* meet the very narrow skinny white young abled idea of what seems to constitute Socially-Acceptable Attractive Androgyny, nor change effortlessly to meet fluid changes of what would give us euphoria or prevent dysphoria. Most of us live constantly with misgendering and denial that someone who looks like us could be different from the man or woman they read us as.

And if your only attempt to represent nonbinary folk is to do with physical shape, you are really misrepresenting not only the nonbinary spectrum experience, but saying a lot of things about gender that are not accurate and, frankly, playing into a lot of harmful ideas the cis still hold about gender.

You might not guess the huge joy you give me whenever I meet a huge hairy muscled nonbinary person, or fat curvy nonbinary person, or a nonbinary wheelchair user, or older nonbinary person, in fiction, but it’s very much there.

(YMMV. I do not in any way speak for all nonbinary people. No, this isn’t only about Double Trouble.)

[thecoolerliauditore]

third time getting this ask deleted, i don't think the universe wants my thoughts on fem grian out there :(

i don't even actually have any problem with this interpretation. it's just both very interesting and silly to me. there is a non-insignificant amount of fanwork that emphasizes grian as having a small, thin waist and general petite frame. nothing wrong with that, but deeply amusing as someone who generally doesn't see the c!lifers' human builds as significantly different from their irl counterparts. starting to suspect people don't share my love for middle-aged guys who look like middle-aged guys... maybe i watch too much british comedy.

ultimately i do agree that it's due to grian being more uke-viable than the other two in mumscarian. which is interesting, because you could argue that mumbo shares a lot of the same "effeminate" traits (higher-pitched voice, not a hulking brute force, sneaky and conniving, young, skinny?) which just proves the power of the Guy with Suit and Moustache branding. exceptions to this are when mumbo gets to have a nice long dress, but i still think the way grian gets feminized is different to that.

something else i find interesting is that grian's deception and manipulation (and power?) is sometimes the sole reason for his feminization getting pushed from generic twink to femboy/literal woman. which is something that i don't think i can do justice pontificating about. i mean this less in a "that's kind of misogynistic way" (well, sort of) and more like, ok what kind of psychosexual game of telephone is happening here. martyn or scott don't really get this treatment, despite (imo) both being valid contenders for evil womanification.

does any of this matter? absolutely not. men shipped in yaoi pairs will get interestingly gendered one way or another. it just so happens that a very specific domino effect lead to grian getting hit with the twinkification beam at a disproportional rate to the others. the only factor that is unique to grian in getting twinkified and feminized is the 3px skin. all others are shared (gremlin-ness, shortness, voice, cuteness, youth, being evil?, sneaky, manipulative) ergo it really is the 3px skin difference. thank you for your time.

also sorry if it seemed like i was assuming you were a grian fan, i legitimately wasn't lol i just sent it to you because of aforementioned gender mentions and you general Goodness in talking about fandom meta.

last thing i'll say is i mournfully agree with the menswear section. i do wish that we could combat more against the "men's fashion/design is boring" sentiment in general fandom. character involving menswear is such an untapped treasure trove that it's baffling to me. alas.

oh please don't worry I was just trying to clarify I wasn't knowledgeable on grian, I love discussions like this! I just didn't want to like. yap a whole bunch and then hit you with the "ok so I don't actually watch Grian all that much" (like I genuinely had completely forgotten about Mother Spore)

"psychosexual game of telephone" is very real and I think I'm going to adopt that into my vocabulary from now on. Scott's name being here is interesting because I actively try not to bring him up in every discussion nowadays, but I do think he is also feminized in fanon but in a way very different to Grian.

My Scott design at least I think you could make that argument for since I based alot of him off of my favourite pretty boys/bishounen, with the eyelashes visible and whatnot, but I tried to at least make it somewhat clear that he is a Man. He even kind of got hit with the detwinkification ray the more I drew him.

And idk fanon Scott is like. It's own brand of fascinating to me because I used to see a lot of people claim he was a "fem gay man" and I was like???????? is he???????????? I suppose his masculinity is a very queer brand of masculinity but it still very much reads as masculinity to me. Very "cis gay man" as he says himself. When I see the words "fem gay man" I am not imagining Scott Smajor, that much is for sure.

There's also just not that many Scott artists relative to the rest of the characters but what art I do see of him tends to lean either anime twink. Weight and body type is also a factor here I think is worth exploring but aughhhh shutting up about Scott. Point is I do think he gets his fair share of feminization but it's complicated with him cus you have to factor in him being The Gay One (and the associations people have with that) and his whole persona being very Cute 🌺

But yes yes anyway I do think Mumbo's moustache does him wonders, as does the CC's reputation for being a giant.

And while none of this Really matters I also don't think any of our lives Really matter and I think these trends are interesting so. We may as well have fun studying them. It's times like these where I wish I could have the brazen-ness to just yoink people's art and put them next to their takes about the character to really, really get in there but I'd feel rude 😔

FTR re the whole nothing wrong with it thing I agree! And you can look at this silly thing I drew for April Fools for my opinion on fanon designs and body types. I am a massive hypocrite in a lot of ways and I think sometimes you do just gotta break down the biases that make you view a certain set of traits a certain way and go. Wow okay that's interesting. and just kinda leave.

My Pearl design for example has some misogynistic implications -- hell, all of my designs for the women lifers are on the shorter side. My Pearl is shorter than my Bdubs and Joel who have entire gags surrounding them about being short! CC Pearl is very much not cute moe anime girl, I turned her character into cute moe anime girl. And I'd do it any day. Minus one point for me in the feminism and body positivity categories 😔 and I'd do it again.

It's whatever man. Humans have biases built on millions of years of history and people also have their own individual beliefs and preferences influenced by that history. and I think seeing that show through people's minecraft youtuber designs like little bits and pieces of worldviews is REALLY COOL. and while I'm also a biased human being who has my tastes I genuinely do think this is really fascinating.

Ok sorry this really got away from me can you tell I like this topic lmao. I just think it's really cool when you get unlimited perspectives on a certain set of traits applied onto a very interpretable design like a minecraft skin

Fist bump on the menswear btw. Makes me wanna draw that self-indulgent idea I had awhile back where I just use the lifers as my fashion dolls. Idk I just think Etho would kill in some Japanese techwear

[banamine-bananime]

just listing some of my headcanons (mostly appearance/demographics) because i like listing things and i’m procrastinating hard

caboose - 18-19 in 2552. went straight from hs graduation to basic to sim training to blood gulch. he was gonna do a program where the UNSC provides a hefty scholarship for completion of an engineering degree with a few years of service upon graduation, but got enlisted instead through a combination of paperwork being confusing for bureaucratic nonsense reasons, paperwork being confusing for deliberate predatory we-need-as-many-people-for-cannon-fodder-as-possible reasons, and him being confused by any paperwork. 6'7”, ~250 lb, very muscular and not thin but not quite chubby either, very mixed but mostly latino and arabic ethnicities, thick fluffy 3A chin-length dark brown hair that's always in his eyes, round face with cute fuzzy eyebrows and aquiline nose. him and tucker (and kinda donut and perhaps sarge) are the only motherfuckers here with a stable happy childhood. uses-no-specific-label queer cis dude.

church - we know church is 5 in blood gulch lol but it think he thought he was like 23-ish/jimmy was around that age. in jimmy's body, 5'10, ~230 lb, chubby and "normal" level of muscularity for someone who has a somewhat active job but doesn't work out much, untidy thick straight black hair that's like 2" grown-out from a buzz, face passably similar to the director if you squint but not really (e.g. shorter/squarer face, eyes hazel instead of stupidly light green). epsilon projects a similar bodytype but would probably default to a young-director-ish face if he had to make one. i think he would at some point consciously change it around if he were doing a face with any regularity. bisexual and nonbinary and will probably never fully acknowledge it but she can have some pronouns as a treat (from tex or in her own internal monologue) sometimes.

tucker - 18-19 in 2552. went straight from hs graduation to basic to sim training to blood gulch. enlisted because he was a “fuck around without any motivation or particular goals in life” kind of teenage dirtbag who was like “oh hey predatory recruiters absolutely dominating every career fair in Covenant-war-era earth. i’ve heard being in the military is very sexy and exciting and makes you a chick magnet so sure sign me up”. 5’4”, ~110 lb scrawny guy in blood gulch -> ~135 still pretty skinny but more muscular later. 4C hair with a grown-out buzz from basic in blood gulch becoming locs when it's long enough. *takes you by the shoulders very seriously* repeat after me, his eyes are BROWN. and the only acceptable other option is when they’re turning gray as in a body horror way, gray as in your body becoming something uncanny to you, gray as in the horribly blinding cold light of unfathomably vast stars lightyears away from anything you’ve ever known (read lazarus left the tomb btw. treat yourself). very handsome face in a boy-next-door-looks-very-sweet-until-he-opens-his-mouth kinda way. an only child or had like one older sibling he wasn’t very close to by the time he enlisted. i think of him as a bi cis guy but i enjoy trans hcs.

kai - 20 in 2552. 5’2”, ~200 lb, fat and top-heavy hourglass and broadset. a little muscular (it’s not immediately obvious) as she was always athletic and basic training helped, but she’s made more for endurance (body by “dancing 7 hours and walking home across town drunk and sleep-deprived”) than strength. thick upper-back-length black 2C hair that she sometimes dyes streaks in or ombre (usually brown highlights but she mixes it up). broad face and nose, big adorable eyebrows, life-endingly cute eyes and smile. alternates between no-makeup all-leg-hair realness, and full femme glam for funsies with 5 sets of fake eyelashes trying to take flight (at least three of them are inevitably going to be Just Fucking Gone by some point in the party). pansexual ipsogender intersex gal (tbh the original reason i headcanoned her having mosaic turner’s is the colorblindess [x-linked recessive traits are rarely gonna show up if you have 2 X chromsomes vs having one, so i was like, “hey her retinas could be some of her XO tissues, and with mosaicism, fertility isn’t uncommon, so it doesn’t contradict her having had abortions”] and then years later i thought about it harder and was like wait she has achromatopsia and that’s autosomal. biology nerd fail moment. but anyways she’s intersex.)

tex - her body is modelled after allison aged 33 (when she died), but bigger stronger faster idealized-by-memory-and-wanting-her-to-be-invincible-to-the-point-of-looking-more-like-she’s-on-gear-and-photoshop-than-a-natural-body. 6’2”, body looks like ~220 lb of muscle and low-body-fat (but not like, cut for bodybuilding competition level of low-body-fat), but being made largely metal, she is heavier. whereas allison was like 5’9”, 170 lb, serious-crossfit-competitor kind of build but nowhere near as built as tex. face looks very similar to allison but just… weirdly airbrushed look and looks… sharper. harsher features. more intimidating. but she’s got this crooked smile that looks kinda like a smug smirk but also like she’s not laughing at you exactly, she’s just vibing with you and the inherent comedy of the absurdity of life. but when she’s Not Smiling it's the kind of expression you start backing away from expeditiously. i think of her having shoulder-length hair she wears in a ponytail but i do love short-hair tex dearly. gnc butch gay/bi (mostly attracted to women, uses both labels) cis woman who uses any pronouns.

wash - around 31? in 2552 (would put him being recruited to pfl at about 26 which feels right for being able to slide into the Goofy Innocent Rookie role but also plausibly have achieved a pretty high non-commissioned officer rank). 5’6” -155 lb, functional muscle with a build in-between lean and stocky (“otter” as a label keeps coming to mind). i don’t have a super settled facecanon but picture him as either white or mixed white and east asian. he has not changed his bleach-blonde crewcut since he was 17 and the shock of allowing himself to change it now might kill him. gay ace trans man.

carolina - 29 in 2552 (actually the youngest among the high-ranking freelancers. she would kill (jk) to protect this secret). she did the whole 4 year military academy to commissioned officer training thing and had a couple years of normal UNSC service before unfortunately getting wrapped up in her dad’s mad science pet project. 5’8”, ~150 lb, leanly muscular. i think of her having natural red hair she dyes bright red but i love a black-haired carolina too. we’ve seen her face. straight trans woman (transitioned as a preteen). i know, i wanted her to be in the wlw club, too. unfortunately every time i try shipping her with a woman she’s like “meh. thinking about my weird khaki man.” and i’m like oh. sorry about that affliction.

sarge - 62 (?) in 2552. 5’6”, ~200 lb, stocky and solidly muscular barrel-chested slight-beer-gut old dude. chinese-american. if you somehow catch him without his helmet he’s got wraparound reflective shades so good luck ever seeing his face (he’ll tell you it’s classified). another eternal crewcut guy but his is shorter than wash’s. bi and definitely a robofucker tbh. he is cis or trans depending on what’s funnier in any given circumstance.

grif - 24 in 2552. worked in honolulu a couple years after hs graduation until kai was old enough (17) he felt he could leave. did a year at university before realizing he’s smart enough to be admitted to cornell but not to get the scholarship he realistically needs to not be in crushing debt on graduation and also there’s not nearly enough regimentation to college life to prevent him from rotting in bed paralyzed by Problems. went through basic and stationed on the doomed outpost. that Whole Thing happened and he was reassigned to sim troopers. 5’8”, ~300 lb, fat and a little bit strong against his will from an involuntarily active job (he has valiantly resisted picking up cardiovascular conditioning. he works very hard on unfitness). he’s kinda cute in a “hasn’t washed his face in 5 days and his peachfuzz/stubble patches combo is very uneven but you caught him smiling for 2 seconds and oh no it was VERY charming” way. thick 2C dark-brown hair that’s a few inches long, wears it longer later. gay trans guy (because his little sister is named “younger sibling of the same gender” so like… also lmfao how unfortunate for kai that her name, which she did not choose, misgenders her big brother. like 😭 god it is very on the grif siblings brand of “hello so the circumstances we have been put in mean that my existence [kai]/how i have to leave you here to protect my own sanity [grif] is actively making your life much harder. i am ashamed of this, let us never communicate about it ever. i love you so much.”)

simmons - 23 in 2552. tried to do university several times and had to drop out for mental health reasons (a very polite way of putting “rapid spiral into absolute disaster every time”. it leaves room for giving him the benefit of the doubt that this was a proactive “ah i should take care of myself and this is not working for me :) #selfcare #therapy” decision. this is not benefit of the doubt that anyone who knows him would extend.). I go back and forth on whether to roll with the “suspiciously specific denial of being in a unit that was stranded and had to eat their dog to survive” thing or just say he was assigned straight to sim troopers. 5’11”, ~160 lb, wirey build and has to be standing at attention or else he holds himself so awkwardly. i pretty much go with the Standard Ginger Simmons Fanon Face but light brown hair also feels right and i think his hair should be very short. i really like when people draw his prosthetics very industrial/bare mechanical frame not trying to imitate biological form, just whatever’s functional. Red circle eye, hell yeah. bi and i used to firmly believe “this guy has to be cis because there is NO WAY he would have the hutzpah and willingness to put self-authenticity over doing what he’s Supposed To Do. we’ve seen how he deals with anxiety. he would just be white-knuckling his way through dysphoria to this day” HOWEVER i have really come around to trans simmons

donut - 19-20 in 2552. i see him taking a gap year or two to work on the farm and think about what he wants to do with his life (not productively introspecting on his deeper desires in life and what would allow him to fulfill them, god no, of course not. daydreaming unrealistically. obviously.) before enlisting. i think his upbringing was fairly happy but kinda weird and a bit insular within a small community of some Beliefs and possibly homeschooled. not like exactly Fundie Christian America as you might assume with that background; american subcultures have changed enough over 500 years that this is one of many totally unrecognizable to us. like it has some roots in Fundie Christianity and homesteading-from-a-weird-reactionary-tradfamily-can’t-trust-the-gubernment-place and some in Hippie-dippiness Spirituality, not-actually-a-cult-but-sometimes-you’ll-hear-him-say-things-he-thinks-are-normal-and-you’re-like-ummmmmmmm. (Idek how that headcanon started. i think i was just like so how DO you build a guy like donut). he’s 5’10”, ~185 lb, sturdy build, i don’t think people would consider him chubby but definitely not thin. his face and hair looks like he should be on a 1960s white america boyscouts poster but like, goofy about it. i think of him being mostly white but some latino heritage he’s curious about but was not raised connected to (hence wanting to learn spanish). acearospec and gay (he’s like…. mostly asexual and aromantic but it’s complicated. he is barely aware of being gay let alone ace or aro. he just fully makes up what he thinks sexual attraction and romance are and assigns it to random feelings/experiences). cis dude or nonbinary.