#and i was like? surely there must not be that much water?

[pureomi]

˚୨୧⋆｡🍓˚ in which: itoshi sae feels inferior to itoshi rin; even if for just a moment

includes: itoshi sae! x reader. 1.7k wc. fluff and humour (i promise the title is just dramatic). silly itoshi brothers but we love them. kind of ooc rin. includes some swearing but it's meant to be lighthearted <3

itoshi rin being sick was somehow more of an inconvenience to sae than it was to rin himself. his brother falling ill during his stay at sae’s place was already a disgusting coincidence. now, sae had to watch the unfortunate scenes unfold in front of him without a choice.

“woah, you’re burning up, rin,” your voice filled the room, holding the thermometer up to check it again, your voice laced with concern. rin only nodded, his quiet nature amplified by the haze of his fever. his half-lidded eyes and flushed cheeks made him look pitiful, almost drowsy.

to sae, it was nauseating how pathetic he looked—and worse, how effective it was.

“here, i got you medicine,” you said, helping him sit up from a lying position. “say ahh,” you sang sweetly, holding an ibuprofen capsule to rin’s lips and following up with a glass of water. he obediently parted his lips without a word, swallowing with a slight grimace but no complaints.

meanwhile, sae stood in the doorway with his arms crossed, scowling like a cat. rin must have it so damn good right now, he thought bitterly. crashed out on his bed, coughing like a mess, and worst of all—being pampered by you! him spreading germs all over the room was annoying enough, but the fact that you were doting on him? that was the real problem. sure, rin was sick, but did you have to treat him like royalty? it made sae feel almost childish how much it irked him. he knew you were just being you—kind, caring, and attentive. you weren’t a complete jerk like sae; of course, you’d take care of your boyfriend’s little brother.

but still, the sight of you meticulously adjusting rin’s pillow, tucking him snugly into the blanket you and sae usually shared, and gently brushing his hair out of his face like he was some spoiled kid—it was enough to drive sae up the wall. and if all that wasn't bad enough, now you were feeding him. feeding him.

rin opened his mouth again without so much as a sigh, his quiet compliance somehow making the scene even worse. sae glared as you dabbed the corner of rin’s mouth with a tissue, your expression always remaining soft and tender.

sae’s patience finally cracked as he scoffed. “pick up your own damn spoon,” he muttered under his breath.

you finally tore your gaze from rin to look at sae, laughing lightly. “it’s okay, sae. he’s sick. it doesn’t bother me.” it didn’t bother you, but it sure as hell bothered him. watching rin quietly accept another spoonful while sae fumed in the corner felt like a fresh insult every second.

“is the soup good? i tried my best,” you asked, giving the bowl another stir, awaiting his answer. your expression was so stupidly expectant that it effortlessly tugged at sae’s heart. rin, naturally, noticed the way his older brother’s jaw tightened from the corner of his eye, sae’s glare sharp enough to cut through steel—nonverbally screaming at him to be nice. rin wasn’t dumb—he knew better than to even consider giving a bad review of your cooking, especially with sae simmering in his spot by the door. and besides, the soup was actually delicious. “it’s good,” rin said, glancing at you. he took another spoonful for good measure, his movements deliberately slow, before adding, “it’s like our mom’s cooking.”

your face lit up instantly, a warm smile spreading across your lips. “i’m glad! good thing i asked for her recipe,” you shared, feeling accomplished. then, after a thoughtful pause, rin continued, “nii-chan should try some.” that last line, paired with the smallest, almost imperceptible smirk tugging at rin’s lips as he subtly shifted his posture toward sae, was so perfectly calculated it could’ve been a soccer play. rin didn’t even bother looking at his brother; he didn’t need to. the strained silence from sae’s corner was reward enough.

sae’s knuckles flexed against the doorframe, his patience wearing thinner than ever. try some? was rin actually inviting him to participate in this ridiculous display? no way in hell. you turned to sae with an inviting smile, completely oblivious to the brewing tension. “sae, you can have some if you want. i made more just in case…” his eyes flickered to you for a moment, and he opened his mouth to respond, but all that came out was a quiet, disgruntled, “i’m fine.”

rin didn’t look up, but his breath released ever so slightly faster—barely perceptible—like he was holding back laughter. and yet, rin wasn’t done being petty. he shifted slightly under the blanket, letting out a low sigh that seemed almost contemplative. “my back hurts.”

he murmured quietly, drawing out the words just enough to give them weight. his gaze flicked briefly to sae—long enough for him to notice—before turning to you with a soft, almost too-casual tone.

“i think i need a massage.”

before sae could even process the audacity, you were already setting the soup aside. “oh no! here, turn around—” “it’s fine,” sae absolutely snaps, stepping forward and snatching you up from the bed. he firmly guided you toward the door. “i got him. just bring a hot towel, will you?” “huh? oh, okay…” you blinked, a bit startled by his sudden intervention, but nodded. “if you need anything—anything—just call, okay?���

you shot rin a sympathetic look as you left, sae’s hand still firm on the small of your back until you were out the door.

the moment the door clicked shut, it was as if rin’s back was in pristine condition—like he was born with the perfect spine. he sat up straight, stretching with ease, his back suddenly requiring nothing but a headboard to rest on. sae responded with nothing except his expression, his eyes narrowing as he stepped closer. without a word, sae lifted his leg and dug a kick square to rin’s back. “what the fuck?!” rin hissed, flinching forward. “back pain, huh?” sae asked flatly, mocking his claims. “you’re too old to be attention-seeking, dumbass,” he said, giving him another shove with his foot. “go back to okaasan, since you like being babied so much.” “fuckin’ hypocrite,” rin kicked back with both legs, shoving sae’s leg away with surprisingly good strength for someone whose supposed bones were crackling just a second ago. “you’re the one fuming for her attention.” sae rolled his eyes, unable to accept the fact that he was probably right. “she’s my girlfriend, you fucker,” despite the possibility, he defends, his voice sharper now. “and yet here you are,” rin said smugly, leaning back against the headboard, “competing with a sick kid.” sae opened his mouth to retort but froze. damn it. he was competing. and somehow, rin was winning.

“here’s the towel—” you finally walked in, but not without sensing the tension hanging in the air. “did something happen?…” you quickly remarked, in a suspicious manner. “no.” both rin and sae responded in perfect unison, their tone almost too quick, too practiced. you couldn’t help but feel like you were the only one who wasn’t in on whatever strange, silent competition they were having.

“rin’s feeling better,” sae suddenly spoke out, his voice way too casual, as he bolted for the door. “call if you need anything.” “ah, okay…” you blinked, eyes lingering on him watching him go before shaking your head. maybe you did imagine that awkwardness.

you quickly turned your attention back to rin and handed him the towel. “you should get some rest. i’ll attend to some chores.” rin gave a quiet nod, already looking more comfortable with the towel draped over him. you gave him a smile, relieved to see him at least looking better, before stepping out of the room. you found sae in the kitchen, carefully dishing out a bowl of soup. the act was too adorable; you couldn’t resist. you snuck up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist in a gentle backhug. “what do you want?” sae asked, his voice trying to sound neutral, but you could hear the softness underneath it. you rested your chin on his shoulder, feeling his warmth, and smiled. “why are you sulking?” you asked softly, your tone full of concern. “i’m not,” sae replied, though the words came out more quietly than he intended, a little hint of frustration still there. you could feel his tension, so you just squeezed him a little tighter, letting the silence settle for a beat. “i know you’re worried,” you said, voice gentle and sincere, “but it’s okay. he’ll be fine. i’m making sure of it.” sae remained quiet for a moment, but there was something different in the way his shoulders eased under your touch. he wasn’t used to this kind of reassurance, but somehow it always worked.

there was always something disarming about your presence, the way you seemed to understand him without asking for anything in return. he didn’t quite know what to do with this feeling—this overwhelming need to just be close to you. without making any effort to break the hug, sae's hands gently moved to rest on yours. he turned slightly so he could look at you, his eyes soft and filled with something tender you couldn't quite place. there was a subtle shift as he leaned in, his breath warm against your skin. he paused, just for a moment, before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. the kiss lingered longer than usual, a silent reassurance in the simple gesture. “i’m not worried,” sae whispered firmly, trying his best to rely his feelings. “since you’re taking care of him, i’ll just take care of you.” you blinked, your chest tightening with warmth at his words. it was rare for sae to lose his guard, and in these moments, his affection always spoke far louder than anything he could say. you could feel the space between you narrowing as he moved even closer, his lips brushing near yours. “isn’t that right?” he whispered, his voice low and filled with a quiet confidence.

AH-CHOO! a loud sneeze rang through the hallway, shattering every sense of peace in the house. sae froze, his entire posture stiffening, as he shot a death glare toward the room where rin was.

god he’s gonna kill him.

a/n: this is such an old draft omg...finally got inspired to publish it bcz i currently feel like sae lmao. still figuring out my writing style so i hope nobody minds the randomness of my works T-T

[revelboo]

HELLO I was the anon who got a random blockee and was hoping for the soundwave figures and while I didn't get him I got Scavenger and he has my whole heart 😭😭😭 he's my lil booboo 🥰🥰 (I will be ordering soundwave tho and more I'm doomed)

He’s lonely. He needs friends 😃 Scrapper finally showed up after his tracking stopped updating Dec 31st and he disappeared off the face of the Earth. Two more to go.

Drive Pt 4

Constructicons x Reader

• “Thank you?” Part of you wants to ask if they’d hurt anyone stealing this stuff for you, but honestly? You’re scared to. Because it looks like Long Haul and Bonecrusher probably went on a crime spree. And Bonecrusher just keeps producing stuff out of nowhere to add to the pile. Food, clothes, small electronics, soaps and candles. Maybe they’d just demolished a mall? They mean well and they’re trying to take care of you, but you really hope they didn’t hurt anyone. Even as a guilty part of you is ridiculously excited about the food and soap.

• Bending, Long Haul begins setting your new things in the mini habsuite they’d made you. Noting that Scrapper and Scavenger had been busy while he’d been out and had tapped into the base water lines to make you a tiny wash rack and waste disposal area. Your little habitat now even bigger as they all keep adding to it. “You needed food and human stuff,” Long Haul mutters, embarrassed when you offer him a small smile. And it’s not like he’d minded. Getting to really let loose and destroy things had felt good. Freezing when you limp closer and lay a soft hand on his ped, he hesitantly brushes a servo over your head before turning away. “It’s either feed you or watch you die,” he adds gruffly, uncomfortable with your affection.

• Venting as you smile up at Long Haul, Bonecrusher reaches to gently scoop you up. Feeling little hands on his servos as he carries you over to his berth and lays back carefully rubbing your jaw. So small you feel insubstantial in his hands, and something about that fragility fascinates him. “You missed us?” He asks, stilling as you grab his servo and smile up at him like you’re not the least bit frightened. That trust shocking him. How can you be so small and not cower?

• Watching Long Haul pimping out your alien, Barbie dream house, you wrap your arms around Bonecrusher’s servo to keep him from petting from neck to navel and further south. It’s not like he knows better or means anything by it, but putting a stop to it as quickly as possible seems a smart move. “It was quiet,” you say opting for honesty. Because the six of them are constantly laughing and jostling each other. Loud and raucous in a way that reminds you of a frat house. Complete with the alcohol, or high grade as they’d called it. After realizing you’re safe as long as you play along at being their collective pet, you’d started consciously trying to make friends. After all, your survival depends on them.

• “Must have been boring,” Long Haul calls from the floor as he arranges boxes of food stuffs in a tidy pile in a corner. You’ll need storage space so this stuff isn’t just lying around. “I’m thinking cabinets and shelves,” he adds, looking at where Mixmaster and Hook are working on reports. Waiting for Mixmaster to vent at him, but set aside his report to help.

• Glancing at his brothers fussing with your space again, Hook checks on you and Bonecrusher. Making sure the much bigger mech isn’t being too rough with you, but so far he’s been shockingly gentle. And right now the huge mech is making a grumbling purr of his engines at you. Something he’d call out anyone else for. Getting punched in the face by Bonecrusher not exactly on his to do list, though, because his brothers definitely don’t warrant the same gentleness you do.

Previous

[heesterical]

"My friend here thinks you're cute!" - Jaemin.

Pairing: Jaemin x F!Reader.

Synopsis: You're not sure that accepting(?) Donghyuck's idea of wingmanning was a good decision, since he's about as subtle as a rock, but at least it was… effective.

Genres: Fluff. Comedy (there was an attempt.)

Wc: 1k.

“Don’t turn immediately, but there’s a guy in a black t-shirt near the water cans behind you. That’s him.” You say softly, glancing over Donghyuck’s shoulder. 

Said guy was hunched over a pile of donated supplies, neatly sorting bags of pet food into the labeled bins. Even from a distance, you could tell he was focused, his brows slightly furrowed, the short sleeves of his shirt revealing his forearms as he worked.

Donghyuck, being Donghyuck, immediately turned around, not even trying to be subtle.

“Donghyuck!” you hiss, grabbing at his arm, but it’s too late. He’s already full-on staring.

“Huh. Nice arms,” he observes, nodding approvingly before turning back to you with a smirk. “You’ve got taste, I’ll give you that.”

You roll your eyes, cheeks heating up. “Shut up. I told you not to make it obvious!”

“And you promised you wouldn’t be a chicken. Yet here we are,” he counters, putting the flyers down in a neat pile on the table. “You’ve been pining over him for weeks, Y/n. It’s tragic. Let me help you.”

“I’ve not been pining over him! I just… think it’s cute how he always greets the dogs with that big smile,” you mutter, trying to sound casual as you adjust the paperwork and flyers on the table. “Even when he looks dead tired, he still sits with them and talks about his day like they’re his best friends.”

Donghyuck stares at you, wide-eyed. “Oh my god, you’re hopeless. That’s even worse than I thought.”

“Shut up!” you hiss at his annoyingly loud accusations. You duck your head, trying to hide the embarrassed blush creeping up your neck. “It’s not like that. I just… admire how he’s so kind to the dogs. He’s just—”

“Adorable? Sweet? Husband material?" Donghyuck finishes for you, grinning like the devil he is.

You groan, burying your face in your hands. “Why do I tell you anything?”

“Because you need me,” he says dramatically, placing a hand over his heart. “And because if you don’t make a move, I will.”

“You wouldn’t,” you warn, your eyes narrowing.

“Wouldn’t I?” he challenges, already standing straighter, his eyes glinting with mischief. Your stomach flips and you know that it spells trouble. 

“Hyuck, don’t—”

Too late. He’s cupped his hands around his mouth and is already calling out, “Hey!”

Oh god.

"What do you think you're doing-!" 

"Hey, you! Black t-shirt!" 

"Donghyuck, shut the fuck up-" 

He looks up immediately, pointing at himself when he sees that Donghyuck was staring right at him.

“Yes, you! Jaemin, right? My friend here thinks you’re cute!” Donghyuck shouts - even though he’s already got the attention of both Jaemin, and every single person in the vicinity.

You wonder if it is too late to drown Donghyuck in a bathtub and escape to another city. 

For a moment, Jaemin just looks at you, then at Donghyuck, and back at you. Finally, to your horror, he smiles, getting up and brushing his hands off on his jeans. He starts walking towards you, and your panic only grows.

“Oh my god, Hyuck, I’m going to kill you,” you mutter through gritted teeth, desperately wishing the ground would open up and swallow you whole.

“Relax,” Donghyuck says, patting your shoulder with zero remorse. “This is your big moment. Don’t blow it.”

“I hate you so much.”

Jaemin reaches you in just a few strides, his smile easy and warm. “Hi,” he says smoothly. His eyes linger on yours for a moment before darting to the guy next to you. “You must be the world’s loudest wingman.”

Donghyuck grins, unbothered. “I prefer ‘effective.’” He gestures toward you with exaggerated flair. “And here’s my very cute, very single friend.”

You press your lips into a tight line, feeling the heat of several stares on you. You shift awkwardly on your feet, suddenly aware of how much attention the three of you were drawing from the people around you. 

Your cheeks flare with a fresh wave of embarrassment. You try to subtly adjust your posture, but it only makes things worse — and now you’re hyper-aware of every tiny movement. 

Jaemin chuckles softly, his gaze returning to you. “So... is it true?” he asks, tilting his head slightly. “You think I’m cute?” 

You glance up at him. “I—uh—” 

“She does!” Donghyuck pipes in before you can even form a coherent sentence. “She’s been admiring you for weeks. It’s kind of pathetic, honestly.”

You elbow him in the ribs. 

Jaemin, however, doesn’t seem weirded out. 

“Weeks, you say?” he repeats, his voice light, and you can hear the playful edge to it. He sounds amused, and maybe, just maybe, a little flattered.

You bite your lip, a nervous laugh escaping you. “It’s not like that,” you try to salvage whatever is left of your dignity.

Jaemin’s smile grows, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Well, I think you’re cute too,” he says easily, his tone light but sincere.

You stare at him, your brain short-circuiting. “You... what?”

“I’ve noticed you around,” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck. “Was wondering why you kept glancing over.”

Perhaps drowning Hyuck in the bathtub wouldn’t be nearly enough.

“I… wasn’t staring at you. I swear. Just, you know, the dogs are adorable.” You say, attempting to salvage whatever was left of your dignity.

“Really?” Jaemin sighs, pretending to be disappointed. “I was hoping it was me you were looking at.”

Oh?

You raise an eyebrow, a bit of confidence creeping in despite the blush still covering your cheeks. “Oh, so you don’t mind if it was you I was looking at?” you tease, a sly grin tugging at your lips.

Jaemin's smile widens. “Not at all,” he shrugs. “In fact, I think I’d prefer it.”

Donghyuck gasps, clutching his chest dramatically. “Oh my god, this is better than a K-drama.”

You ignore him, focusing on Jaemin, who looks at you like he’s genuinely glad this is happening. “So,” he continues, a hint of nervousness creeping into his voice. “Can I get your number?”

You can have anything you want from me, Jaemin....

NCT Masterlist.

[newkatzkafe2023]

May we have the monkey kings + BMW monkey king & destined one meet and try to woo a "mother of the sea" reader?

Oh! And if possible, may I have an added bonus if he succeeds, they end up starting a family of "sea monkeys" together. Pls?

I'll give you this strawberry if you do. 🍓

Put chocolate ��� on that strawberry 🍓 then you got yourself a deal🤩😉

(Lmk Wukong) He was chilling on the beachone saturday sunbathing and drinking a peach wine but, he saw something in the ocean light?? Glitter?? Maybe??? Wukong jumped on his nimbus to fly above the water to get a better look, until he was the most beautiful creature he's ever seen. You were a Giant female monkey simply floating and swimming in the water, Wukong immediately had hearts in his eyes upon your form. Wukong chirps as he few close to the water as you Pop your head out smiling at him, giving him a friendly hello. Your voice was music to his big ears and spend sometime getting to know him and bond together. A year goes by, and Wukong pops the question of marriage and soon you make a brand new breed of adorable sea monkies Wukong really couldn't be happier.

(MKR Wukong) He was patrolling around the camp like he usually does, until he saw something glowing in the distance. Wukong walked closer to the water to see a literal giant monkey woman moving smoothly in the ocean. He was in a state of shock as he Gawk at what appears to be a beautiful goddess, as you noticed him looking at you. You popped out the water, no breaking eye contact, just looking at him with a gentle but curious smile. Wukong was dumbfounded by your presence and the situation he was in, but he felt like he could trust and bond with you. You followed him during the journey to the west offering support and assistance and Wukong appreciates you so much. You both got married at the end of the journey and had a mountain full of sea monkies, as Wukong stared in shock at the groups of cubs.

(NR Wukong) He went to this beach party with Li and Su, when he saw something afar. Something glowing blue and red in the water and that's when you popped out the water, giving him a gentle smile. Wukong jaw dropped at this as his beer bottle fell out of his hands a sexy sea goddess, he must be passed out drunk on a beach chair again....😮 it took him a few weeks to realize you were real and he cranked up the charm and flirted like the wind with you. It wasn't long before you both got together and the land and sea was full of monkies🥰

(HIB Wukong) Wukong was looking for Luier and Silly girl, as it was getting late and was ready to leave the beach. Until he saw the two small children staring at something in the ocean, when Wukong walked over that's when he saw you. A giant sea monkey swimming along the ocean eyes sparkling in excitement and care, it was love in first sight. Wukong chirps whenever he sees you, and you would giggle and squeak back at him, showing fondness for him. Ever since then, Wukong would come back to visit you again, making you smile and chat with him, Wukong loved your voice and enjoyed hearing you talk. You made sure to follow him during his journey, offering support and assistance to him. At the end of the journey, you both married each other and got to surprise him with a whole mountain worth of baby sea monkeys, heh well his family is way bigger now.

(Netflix Wukong) Believe it or not you had spotted him first, and you thought he was adorable but were to shy to approach him. One night Wukong finally noticed you and his eyes sparkle in astonishment, upon your appearance. To say you were big and beautiful was a severe understatement as you were a Giant female monkey with such elegance and strong magic. Though Wukong was not Deterred and went off to officially meet you in the ocean, Wukong had so many questions and wonders about you, and you felt the same about him and spend your relationship getting to learn about land and sea. It didn't take time for you both to fall in love with each other, as Wukong would brag and talk about himself at times. Though that didn't stop you from marrying him and giving him the family he always wanted full of baby sea monkies😊

(BMW Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhh god his jaw was on the floor, when he saw you that one dark night. You were just gracefully swim under the water so carefree and elegant, hell you were even majestic. Wukong was smitten and immediately worked to woo you over. Often giving you land gifts and flirting with you, at first he was annoying to you with his boastful attitude but he soon grew on you. He would make you laugh with his land gossip and bring something genuinely interesting and soon you both began a relationship and got married a few years later. You can imagine the look on his face when he sees you birth a bunch of adorable laser eyed baby sea monkies.

(Destined one)(when he looks at me and I look at him🎵)(when she looks at me and I look at her🎶) Yup its a Staring contest between a adorable silent monkey and a giant sea goddess who is also a monkey. The Destined one had soo many questions about the situation he's in but you showed him you were no threat to him, if anything you were just as interested. The Destined one and you would share cuddles and have private quiet time with you for months on end. At the end of the year he put a ring on your finger and soon had a surprise bundle of baby sea monkies.

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG🌊

[holylulusworld]

Jerk next door (8) - Lies to tell

Summary: You move in next door to a jerk after a bad breakup.

Pairing: Andy Barber x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, mostly investigations

Jerk next door (7) - Plans to make

Jerk next door masterlist

Sirens. All you remember are sirens, and the scent of blood creeping into your nose.

Andy tried to keep you away from the crime scene, but the detectives coming to his house to investigate your ex-husband’s death wouldn’t let him.

Now you’re sitting on a chair in his kitchen, feeding lies to the cops. You nod and agree to anything Andy says—lies, of course.

“Okay, let me get this straight,” the detective clears his throat to get your attention. “You spent the evening at Mr. Barber’s house, and later, you went upstairs to sleep.”

“Yes,” you sniffle. “I had a terrible headache. Andy wanted to join me later. He wanted to work some more after dinner.”

“Good, good,” the detective takes notes as you try not to show how scared you are. If you forget the things Sy and Andy instructed you to say before calling the cops. “What happened later.”

“After I finished work, I checked on Y/N. She was sleeping soundly, and I was about to use the bathroom when I heard noises coming from downstairs,” Andy continues. He takes your hand, pretending that you’re deeply in love. “I silently walked back into the bedroom to unlock the safe and get my gun out.”

The detective watches Andy, quirking a brow. “You’ve got a gun in your bedroom. Why?”

“I’m an attorney lawyer,” the lies easily come out of Andy’s mouth, “more than once I got angry calls, or received letters in which the person threatened my life. And I got an angry ex-wife.”

At that, the detective chuckles. “So, you heard a noise and got your gun.” He asks, watching you sniffle silently. “What then?”

“I wanted to walk down the stairs, the gun in my hand,” Andy is quick to reply. “I saw a shadow move quickly. He growled something at me that I didn’t understand.”

“What did you do?” You pray the detective believes Andy’s lies, if not, you are all doomed and will end up in jail. “Mr. Barber?”

“I-“ Andy sniffs. “He threatened my girlfriend and told me to go to the living room. I didn’t want to provoke him, so I followed his order.”

“Why didn’t he tell you to drop your gun?” You suck in a breath. The detective asks all the right questions, and you fear, Andy won’t be able to keep up the wall of lies for much longer.

“I pressed it close to my leg, and the lights were out,” Andy replies without missing a beat. “It was dark. Maybe he didn’t see the gun in my hand. I don’t know, though. Who knows what is going on in people’s minds when they try to kill you? We’d never thought my girlfriend’s ex-husband would break into my house to kill us.”

“Sure.” Watching the detective take notes, you wonder if he knows that Andy and you are lying. “You never know.” He nods now. “Please continue, Mr. Barber.”

“I tried to talk to him, telling him if he just leaves, there will be no consequences,” Andy licks his lips. He wrings his hands, pretending to be sad about what happened. “Or something like that. I don’t remember. It all happened so fast.”

“Do you need a moment, Mr. Barber?” The second detective joins you in the kitchen. “Water maybe, or something to eat?”

Andy must fight the smirk wanting to creep onto his face. He knows all the tricks. She tries to play the nice cop, offering food and water along with compassion.

“No, thank you. I should tell your partner what happened as long as my memory is still fresh,” Andy tries not to be too proud of the construct of lies he carefully fed the cops with. “Where were we?”

“You told the detective you tried to talk to him,” you murmur, and pat Andy’s hand.

“Oh, yes. Thank you,” he replies and lovingly looks at you. Andy Barber is a great actor; you give him that. “He…he didn’t want to hear anything. Before I could fathom what happened, he fired in my direction. One of the bullets hit the wall and I dropped to the ground, searching for cover behind the couch.”

“I woke from a loud bang,” you continue. “I believed Andy dropped something. When I moved downstairs, I saw someone turn toward me, a gun in his hands.”

“She screamed, and that was when I got back up from behind the couch. I yelled at the man, and he turned back around, wanting to shoot me, but…” Andy releases a shuddery breath, pretending to be sorry for your ex-husband’s death. “I was faster and fired at him.”

“How many bullets did you fire at him?” The second detective asks. “Mr. Barber?”

“I think I fired two or three times at him. I’m not sure.” Andy turns his head toward you, worriedly looking at you. “I could only think about Y/N, and that he’ll hurt her.”

“I think we are done here,” you nod as the first detective slowly gets up. “If we have further questions, we will contact you, Mr. Barber.”

You’re too shaken to even get up. Watching the detectives leave the kitchen, you exhale sharply. It’s all you're capable of.

You should be relieved. The man tormenting you is dead. He’ll never hurt you again, still, all you feel is dread.

“Mr. Barber, I’m afraid you must leave the house for tonight, and maybe tomorrow. This is still a crime scene,” the detective says.

“He can sleep at my house,” you jump in, smiling. The fake smile hurts your face, but you try to play your part. “No problem. We just go and leave you to your investigation. After what happened, I couldn’t sleep here.”

“Thank you for having me,” Andy murmurs while looking around your guestroom. “I know I’m the last person you want to have at your house.”

“What if,” you sniffle. “What if they find out what you did? We will all end up in jail!”

He carefully touches your shoulder and says, “No one will end up in jail. Your ex-husband broke into my house and tried to kill both of us. It’s called self-defense…”

Tags in reblog.

[uas-fics]

Title: Pestering Brothers

Rating: T

Summary: Narinder goes to pester Kallamar at the Healing Bay.

Ships: N/A

Content Warnings: N/A

AO3 Upload

When The Lamb wandered towards Narinder's sunning spot, Narinder pulled his robe's hood down over his face. The Lamb would understand he wished to be left alone to enjoy the nice sun and did not want to be roped into whatever task they had on hand.

The Lamb plopped next to him with a noisy sigh.

Or perhaps not…

"Your older brother is…" they paused momentarily to gather their thoughts, "a bit much."

"You can say 'annoying,'" Narinder grumbled, adjusting his hood so only one of his three eyes peeked out towards The Lamb.

"I said he's 'a bit much,' not 'annoying'."

"Are those not the same?"

"Not the point." The Lamb rubbed their temples with the heel of their palms.

"Then what is the point? If you are here to bemoan your mistake of bringing him to the cult, take it elsewhere. I tried to warn you."

"I'm not." The Lamb jutted out their chin. "I'm being nice and giving you an update how your older brother is doing."

Narinder didn't want any updates on Kallamar. He wanted to lounge in the sun until he had to go prepare the temple for the evening's sermon.

The Lamb said, "Giving you and your siblings specific jobs seems to have helped you all adjust faster to mortal life."

Narinder conceded this fact with a slight nod of his head.

Leshy lived for the drama and fighting he encountered at the drink house. Nearly every other day, his youngest brother had some tale to tell of the night prior where he had to step in and calm down a particularly nasty argument—or goaded the fight into continuing, depending on how he was feeling.

As for Heket, she enjoyed cultivating the garden plants. If Narinder stood up from his sunning spot, he could easily see the sizable pumpkin his sister had been babying for the last month and a half.

"You gave a job to Cowardly Kallamar then?" Narinder smirked. "What do you have him doing? Scaring off birds with his shaking?"

"I brought him to the healing bay," The Lamb explained. "He was the god of sickness, so he must know what helps the sick, too."

Narinder made a noise of agreement, then added, "Let me take a guess: He spent ten minutes bragging about how true that was and telling you that you are a fool for not realizing it sooner?"

The Lamb slumped down into the grass. "Five minutes, but, yes, more or less."

Kallamar was insufferable. He had always been insufferable…and vain and annoying and a coward and--

"He was going through the herbs and tinctures when I left, " The Lamb continued. "I'm sure he will have a list of complaints about what we have and don't have when he is done." They threw their arm over their face with a groan.

Narinder knew he would. Unless Kallamar was in his own temple in Anchordeep, he would criticize and complain about every little thing, from how the bottles were stored to how the poultices were mixed.

Narinder stood, wiping the grass off his robes. "I will go check on him."

He had barely taken a step when The Lamb grabbed his ankle. "Don't go harass him. He needs time to adjust. You all did. Besides, I just brought him back from the dead. I don't want to waste bones doing it again so soon."

With a snort, Narinder pulled his leg away. He adjusted to being in this weak, ungodly body quickly. It only took him a week to remember he had to eat food and drink water every day.

"I won't make him cry," he promised, though he wasn't sure he would be able to keep it.

The Lamb sent a pointed look at Narinder, a wordless warning not to be a jackass.

Kallamar did not know that bothersome lamb had given him a Sisyphean task! Kallamar took a cracked bottle from the shelf and turned it over in his hand. Brittle leaves rattled against each other in the bottle.

Narinder rolled his eyes and started toward the healing bay.

---

It seemed half the bottles Kallamar had pawed through were like that. They were cracked, cloudy, dirty, or all three at once. Much of their contents had turned to dust or evaporated away to nothingness—completely useless!

How did that lamb keep a cult running with their medical supplies in shambles like this?

No wonder it took so long for Kallamar to heal when The Lamb forced him to join their pathetic cult.

Kallamar pinched the cork and pulled. Instead of popping out of the bottleneck, the top of the bottle snapped off at the crack near the base of the neck.

Kallamar looked from one part of the bottle to the other before heaving a sigh. He set the broken bottle top to the side then dumped the leaves into his palm to examine.

Kallamar jumped from the warm breath on his shoulder. The bottom of the bottle fell to the floor and, by some miracle, it didn't shatter.

When he spun around, he found himself face to face with death itself—his little brother, Narinder. No, no, not death. Not anymore. Kallamar had to remind himself that Narinder didn't have the crown. He held no more power than Kallamar, Heket, or Leshy. He was a lowly, earthly follower now.

Narinder raised his eyebrows before pointing back down at Kallamar's hand.

He said something, but Kallamar found himself still too shaken to pay attention enough to see what was said.

"W-what?" He stammered.

"Raspberry leaves," Narinder repeated, pointing again to Kallamar's clenched hand.

Kallamar opened his palm. He had accidentally crushed the dried leaves to dust when Narinder scared him. He wiped the powder off on his robes and did notice the slight scent of raspberry.

"What do you want?" He narrowed his eyes, focusing hard on Narinder's lips.

Without his crown to dampen the blaring tinnitus in his head and strengthen what little hearing he still had, he had to concentrate to understand what anyone said to him. Reading lips and paying attention to the slight sounds he could still pick out was all he could do.

Narinder straightened himself and took a look around the healing bay.

"I was told you were assigned to clean out this old place. I thought you might need some help," Narinder commented idly, as if he had just stepped in for a chat.

Kallamar knew better than that.

"I don't want your help."

He didn't want Narinder anywhere near him.

Kallamar turned around to the table to continue to sort through the bottles, boxes, and satchels of medicine. He had hoped that his curt reply would drive Narinder off, but instead of leaving, Narinder moved to sit on the bed, the least musty thing in the whole place. He stretched, yawned, then laid back with his eyes shut.

Of course, Narinder would not leave. Narinder never listened to Kallamar before, why would he start now? At least before, Kallamar could retreat to the safety of Anchordeep and his temple when Narinder antagonized him. Now Kallamar was stuck in this pathetic, little base, in this pathetic, little body with no powers, no followers, and no place to go.

He gritted his teeth.

No, he was not going to let Narinder get to him. They were not gods anymore. Narinder was not death and Kallamar was not blight. Narinder was just Kallamar's annoying and pestering little brother now, nothing more.

The medical bay's bed was comfortable, if a little too cool for Narinder's taste. If the bed was pushed towards the door and the warm sun, then it would be an excellent new napping spot. The Lamb wouldn't be able to find him as quickly and make him 'get back to work' or whatever other nonsense they ordered.

He had to just ignore him. If he focused on his task at hand, he could do that with ease.

---

He sprawled, listening to the clinks of bottles as Kallamar worked. Every so often he would hear a mumble "What is this?" or a groan of frustration.

Narinder considered holding a one-sided conversation, mostly to annoy Kallamar when he finally noticed he was doing it, but decided against it. Just staying there after he was told he wasn't wanted was enough to mess with Kallamar. To Narinder's pleasure, he had noticed a tenseness in Kallamar's movements and the occasional glances at Narinder when he thought he wouldn't notice.

Narinder rolled so his head lay off the side of the bed. He looked upside down at Kallamar.

Much like his younger siblings, when The Lamb hauled Kallamar from his torment in purgatory, they left all of his thousands of years of divinity behind. The air of godly power that somehow clung to Kallamar, despite his cowardly nature, evaporated when Kallamar fell face-first onto the indoctrination circle. How sickly and weak he looked then, barely able to hold his head up as an odd green color painted his face. The weakling spent days on bed rest before he was able to stand again.

Narinder almost laughed at the memory.

Kallamar took a wooden box from the counter and shook it. Pursing his lips, he pried the lid off. With a puzzled expression, he tipped over the box until the contents fell out to the tabletop. Kallamar carefully picked up something wrapped in paper and herbs. He pulled away at the wrapping before gagging.

Narinder rolled over to his belly and pushed himself up to his knees.

He cringed and dropped the bundle back in the box.

"Why?!"

"What? What is it?" he asked, but Kallamar didn't respond. Instead, he held his face in his hands and groaned.

Narinder frowned. He took the pillow from the bed and threw it. Kallamar jumped when it hit his side and said a swear in a language no mortal spoke anymore.

When Kallamar turned to glare, Narinder repeated, "What is in the box?"

A smirk crossed Kallamar's face as he returned the lid with a sound tap.

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"I would. That is why I asked."

Kallamar hummed in reply and set the box to the side. He proceeded to pop the top off of a cloudy bottle and give it a sniff, completely ignoring Narinder.

Narinder bristled with annoyance. He came here to mess with Kallamar, not to be messed with.

Narinder jumped to his feet and started towards Kallamar and the box. Kallamar snatched the box, holding it to his chest. Narinder stomped his foot down, knowing the vibrations through the floor would be enough to scare that coward into losing his grip.

A sharp pain shot up his leg from the sole of his foot. With a cry, he hopped back, lost his balance, and fell to his back.

He bit his tongue to hold back a cry, trying to force his head to stop spinning so he could focus on the stabbing pain in his foot. He hauled himself to the bed before he set his foot propped up on his other knee.

Glass and crushed raspberry leaf clung to his bloody foot.

It's from the bottle Kallamar dropped earlier, he realized. Kallamar had been so busy pretending to ignore him, that he never picked it back up.

An instinct Narinder usually ignored reared its head. With pain and annoyance on its side, the primal urge beat any rational thought. Narinder stuck his tongue out to lick clean the wound.

Kallamar grabbed him by the cheeks and forced his face up.

"Are you stupid? Do you want glass in your tongue, too?" He snapped.

Though Narinder knew he was right, he huffed in defiance and looked to the side.

Kallamar pulled his hands away. He carefully picked his way through the remaining shards and started rifling through items on the table. He hoped Kallamar would leave to find The Lamb or their younger siblings for help, but Kallamar returned a moment later and sat next to Narinder.

He held out his hand.

"Let me see your foot," he ordered.

Narinder snorted. "No. I will be fine." He pinched the largest piece of glass between his fingers and sharply pulled. A hiss of pain slipped from his teeth.

"Fine." Kallamar sniffed. "Get an infection, die of sepsis. I do not care what happens to you, anyway." Kallamar dropped the items he'd brought in a heap next to Narinder. Narinder stared at the blood dripping down his foot.

An infection? He couldn't remember when he had last had one, but he could remember the infections and sepsis he saw in his followers, the burning flesh, the oozing pus, and the writhing pain they were in until Narinder ended their suffering.

He groaned. Before Kallamar could get out of reach, Narinder grabbed his robes.

He didn't speak; he just met his older brother's eyes for the heartbeat his pride would allow.

For an instant, Kallamar looked fearful and untrusting, but his expression shifted to one of annoyance.

The bloody glass shard clinked against its brethren on the red stained cloth.

"You've always been such a pest," Kallamar grumbled, taking Narinder's hand off his robe.

---

Kallamar bend down to the bowl of steaming water he'd rush to the kitchen to get. He didn't dare light the fire pit in the medical bay to boil water. Whoever had been keeping the bay up before Kallamar had put baskets of vomit stained blankets right next to the pit. Some of the blankets had even spilled into the ring of stones, and Kallamar refused to touch something so disgusting with a new body so susceptible to illness.

He took a cloth rag from the bowl and rung the water out before pressing it to Narinder's foot. He would need to stitch up some of the gashes, but the skin had to be clean before he made any attempts.

Narinder hissed through his teeth.

"Oh, do not act like a baby." Kallamar rolled his eyes.

Narinder glowered, attempting to sit up from his back, but Kallamar lifted his foot up higher.

"This needs to stay above the level of your heart."

Narinder huffed and laid back down.

"I've seen you cut in half before. This should be nothing to you." Kallamar returned the foot to his lap.

"Being cut in half doesn't hurt," Narinder retorted, crossing his arms over his chest.

A bellowing laugh burst from Kallamar's chest, making Narinder jump.

"You are a dirty liar. It does hurt--a lot. " Kallamar moved the rag away from the foot. He gave Narinder's foot one last wipe and a good look for any more glass before dropping the rag next to the glass pile.

As he picked out the needle from the bottom of the water bowl, he continued, "Your usurper cut me in half the first time they killed me." He pointed the needle to the top of his head and drew it down to his belly

He had fought for his life, sending wave after wave of curses and minions and Anchordeep beasts to kill that vile creature masquerading as a god of death. He accomplished his task twice before The Lamb came back a third time, accompanied by two small demons and a glowing, godly axe. It was this axe that the Lamb slew him with, striking him when he took less than a second to breathe. The Lamb sliced through his flesh and bone, leaving blood and pain in the axe's wake.

To add insult to injury, as Kallamar lay dying, he watched as a third demon came flying in, bringing with it a spirit heart for the victorious lamb.

"Foul, terrible, cruel creature…" he muttered, shaking his head.

Kallamar tied a knot in the silk thread. He had always preferred the use of catgut to close wounds, but dried intestines were among the many other materials The Lamb's medical tent lacked. He didn't bother to warn Narinder of the pain as he stabbed the needle into the soft flesh.

Narinder bit down hard on his lip as Kallamar worked to close the largest of the gashes. Kallamar took another rag from the side of the water bowl and wiped away the new blood.

If Narinder attempted to speak to him while he worked, Kallamar couldn't tell. His focus lay solely on closing the wounds. He felt calm, the most calm he'd felt since being indoctrinated into this blasted cult. Patching up wounds was his second nature.

As he pulled tight the last stitch on the final large wound, he saw Narinder's jaw moving out of the corner of his eye.

"What? Do you need to cry? Does it hurt worse than being cut in half?" Kallamar mocked.

He tied off the thread without having to look at his hands. He knew taking stitches without any type of numbing hurt, but he didn't want to give Narinder any pity.

Narinder made a rude gesture towards Kallamar with his middle finger.

"Lucky for you, I am all done sewing you up," Kallamar said, twisting the lid off a glass jar. Inside was the saddest excuse for a wound poultice Kallamar had seen in centuries -- there wasn't even any flax in it—but it would have to do to keep the wound moist and protected from dirt.

Narinder said something, but Kallamar was too busy slathering on the poultice to catch it. He set it aside and went for the bandages before turning his attention to Narinder's face.

"Hmm?"

Narinder opened his mouth, then shut it a heartbeat later. He looked away and shook his head.

Kallamar shrugged and started to wrap up Narinder's foot. As he worked, a thought came to him. He'd never dressed any of Narinder's wounds before then. Even before they sealed him away, Kallamar had never had to step in and suture closed gashes or apply honey and bandages to scrapes on him, unlike the rest of their siblings.

With how many fights Heket tended to pick, she was the worst of them, though Leshy was a close second since he liked to join Heket in her scuffles. Though uncommon, even Shamura had to be patched up when they underestimated the army or god they waged war against.

Narinder never needed wounds shut or a poultice applied. He would not scar. His wounds would not fester. He would die and bring himself back before that could happen.

Suddenly annoyed, Kallamar pulled the bandage a little too tight—not enough to cut off blood flow, but enough to be uncomfortable.

Kallamar lifted Narinder's foot from his lap and scooted out before dropping it unceremoniously back down.

"There. Done, " he said, tying up the cloth with the glass shards. He took them to a pile of old and broken containers he'd made earlier to throw out. He grabbed a straw broom and quickly swept the remaining glass on the floor into a pile. He was not going to risk having to use any of this cult's medical supplies on himself, not until The Lamb had replaced them with items of higher quality, at least.

Narinder moved his foot into his lap to examine the bandaging. An odd expression crossed his face, guilt or sadness, maybe? Kallamar didn't have time to dwell on it before that complete fool swung his legs out and attempted to stand.

Narinder yelped and fell back onto the bed.

"I will see about getting you some help to hobble back to your quarters." Kallamar waved his hand. "The sooner you are gone, the better for me."

He expected a snarky retort or another rude gesture, not for Narinder to smile softly at him.

"You know, I have seen you throw around your plagues and spread your miasma thousands of times," he mused. "I always found sickness a terrible way to die. There is no honor or glory in succumbing to a fever. It's pathetic."

Kallamar bristled, wishing he had tied the bandage even tighter.

Narinder chuckled. "Thousands of times," he repeated. "Thousands of thousands, even, but I only ever saw you cure sickness one time." He held up his pointer finger. "One of Shamura's soldiers brought back some sort of terrible illness, a cough that racked the body and fever that brought delirium, " Narinder recalled. "Shamura summoned me to help those that they knew would not make it pass on peacefully."

"I remember you actually scolded Shamura," Narinder shook his head, "and told them they should have called you sooner. That they know better than to let sickness spread."

Kallamar furrowed his brow. He vaguely recalled that. It was thousands of years ago, possibly more than that. Well before Heket or Leshy joined their family at the least, back when Narinder was the youngest bishop and Kallamar held less fear of him.

"You cured that whole army with ease, soothing their fevers and easing their coughs with merely a wave of the hand." Narinder met Kallamar's eyes. "I was jealous, you know."

"What?" Kallamar gasped. "You were jealous of me healing some mortal soldiers?"

There was plenty Kallamar could understand Narinder being jealous of, including his good looks, the glory of his temple, and the majestic beauty of Anchordeep, but that? Something so simple?

"I could only end suffering. I could not ease it nor erase it." Narinder looked at his hands, his eyes heavy with sorrow. "That has not changed, I'll admit."

Kallamar's chest twisted uncomfortably. How could Narinder have admire his abilities? Admired him? It made no sense.

He looked away, more emotions pulling at his heart. He should still be mad. It shouldn't matter what Narinder said. Kallamar should still hate him…

No, he never hated Narinder. He was scared of him, angry that his cult swelled while Kallamar's waned, upset about his handsome ears and hearing loss, saddened by chaining Narinder up for a thousand years, but he never actually hated him.

Kallamar had his head turned away and was uncharacteristically quiet.

Kallamar blinked at the tears welling up in his eyes, but despite his best effort, they overflowed and ran down his cheeks.

---

Narinder pursed his lips. He knew he shouldn't have said that, but the pain brought old memories to the surface and loosened his tongue.

A sniffle brought Narinder out of his thoughts. He winced as he saw Kallamar wipe his eyes with his wrist.

The one thing he had promised The Lamb he wouldn't do, make Kallamar cry.

He turned his attention to his lap, pretending he didn't hear anything. Kallamar stepped forward until his feet were in Narinder's line of sight.

"I have two little brothers and you are by far the worst of them," Kallamar stated matter-of-factly. "You are egotistical and annoying and a pain in my ass."

Narinder glared upwards, about to make a retort, when Kallamar continued, "However, you are still my brother, and it is clear we are stuck with each other here from now on. We should at least try to get along. Here. Fulfill your curiosity, Nari." He shoved the wooden box into Narinder's hands.

Narinder skeptically shook the box once before opening it. He took the object wrapped in brittle paper and herbs from inside and slowly pulled the paper back.

Inside was a dried, wrinkled, black-and-white spotted--

"By The First God's wounds!" Narinder yelped, dropping the bundle back into the box. Though he hadn't touched the dried flesh, he wiped his hands on his robes regardless.

"Is this a--?" He wrinkled his nose up.

Kallamar cackled. "A charm to increase male potency, yes. The wive's tale goes if one sleeps with a bull's manhood under their pillow it'll help them, well, you know." He clicked his tongue twice and jabbed his thumb up.

Narinder dropped the box as far from him as he could on the bed. He did not know why The Lamb had such a thing, and he did not want to ask.

"Disgusting. " He shuddered. "That can't possibly work."

"Oh, it doesn't," Kallamar shrugged, "but it is not the strangest 'remedy' for that particular problem I have come across. Once, some mortal brought me the foulest concoction I have ever seen, and claimed that was why he and his wife had so many children." Kallamar met Narinder's eyes with a serious expression. "They were rabbits."

The brothers held each other's gazes for a moment longer before their lips started to pull up and they both burst into laughter.

Kallamar wiped fresh tears from his eye. "Narinder…here." He held out his hand. "Let me help you back to your quarters. I'll have someone bring you some tea to help with the pain. I definitely saw some willow bark…somewhere in this mess." He gestured with his head to the table of herbs.

Narinder took his big brother's out stretched hand.

"Thank you, Kallamar."

---

AN:This was techically my first COTL fic, but I didn't finish editing it until recently. Also I have next to no medical knowledge, so those parts might be wrong.

[diazheartsbuckley]

🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫

Hello my dear 💕

A little bit of insomnia fic coming your way 💕

🚫🚫🚫🚫

When Buck realizes that Eddie only sleeps at night if they’re on the phone, he makes it his personal mission to make sure that it happens. He knows that Eddie has admitted that it helps but seeing it in action is another thing. One night in particular stands out to Buck because he catches a glimpse of what Eddie has been trying to handle alone for the past four months.

He sees Eddie stirring in his sleep, tossing and turning in his bed, lips and brows furrowed and even a low whimper escapes his mouth.

Buck never brings it up with Eddie tho, knowing that the fact he has even dared to talk about his feelings is overwhelming enough for him. And they don’t talk about it at work either, not because people can’t know that Eddie is struggling, because most of them have caught on.

But because it feels so intimate. Because it feels like it’s just the two of them in the world when they’re both awake at 2 am, not saying a single word but finding equal amount of comfort in just knowing that the other person is there.

And apparently Eddie talks in his sleep. A lot. Most of it doesn’t make sense but sometimes it does and it’s either immensely heartbreaking or funny. One time, Eddie was mumbling about Shannon’s death and Buck saw his entire body tensing up as it happened.

And Buck wants to ask about it but it hasn’t felt like the right time yet. And although Eddie is the one who often calls him in the evening, even bringing it up feels like a violation of his privacy. Yet curiosity gets the better of him one night when they’re sitting in Buck’s kitchen, Eddie’s fingertip tracing the label on his beer.

“I-…I didn’t really know if this was appropriate for me to talk about but I just couldn’t help but to wonder” Buck starts out carefully, testing the waters.

Eddie lifts his head and tilts it slightly, urging Buck to go on without saying anything.

“You talk about her sometimes in your sleep, you know? Shannon, I mean. And it made me think about how much you must miss her. Everything happened so fast and-..”

“I miss her everyday, Buck. But the reality is that I lost her a long time before she passed away and I don’t know, sometimes that makes it sting even more”

Make me write ✍🏻

Using this as my fuck it friday 💕

Tagged by @tizniz 😘

Np tagging 💕(lmk if you want to be added or removed)

@watchyourbuck, @thekristen999, @theotherbuckley, @wikiangela, @daffi-990, @underwaterninja13, @giddyupbuck, @bucksbignaturals, @bucksbirthmark, @cal-daisies-and-briars, @devirnis, @spotsandsocks, @hippolotamus, @honestlydarkprincess, @namjroon, @jeeyuns, @wildlife4life, @ronordmann, @exhuastedpigeon, @actualalligator, @kitteneddiediaz, @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming, @extasiswings, @princessfbi, @inell, @steadfastsaturnsrings, @actuallyitsellie, @diazsdimples, @epicbuddieficrecs, @pirrusstuff, @elvensorceress, @bidisasterevankinard, @dangerpronebuddie, @jesuisici33, @rainbow-nerdss

[lillaydee]

Matchmade Part 2

Millionaire! Joel Miller / Reader

Having experienced traumatic, life altering events, a freshly divorced Joel worked to repay his debt to the person he owed his life to.

WARNINGS:

Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Joel Lives (The Last of Us), Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Character Death, Fluff, Angst, Eventual Smut.

SERIES MASTER LIST

Part 1

---

***So many possibly inaccurate medical jargons and conditions ahead. I don't know why i keep writing about medical conditions - I am nowhere near the Doctor spectrum occupation-wise. Just a shit ton of Grey's Anatomy and House. So, sorry about that.***

What? No, that’s impossible. She was there. She must be hiding. He had only known her for a day, but she seemed like the type. He had to make sure she was safe.

Joel’s thoughts were suddenly lost. He had lost consciousness, his energy completely depleted, he had lost too much blood. Tommy radioed the main boat, and they called for help. His heart had stopped by the time they got to the main boat, and he had to be shocked several times to get it going again. Soon after, he was flown into the nearest hospital, Tommy going with him, praying to God his brother would make it.

He was severely injured. Aside from the many, many, many lacerations and sunburn that he had, he was also severely concussed, his stomach wound had festered, nearing sepsis, he had a fever, his lungs were partly filled with seawater and debris, his main organs affected by it all, not to mention, a few bruised and cracked ribs, and hairline fractures on his arm and leg bones. The doctors were shocked when Tommy told them he was mobile when first spotted, one wouldn’t be able to tell from the extent of his injuries.  

When he finally woke up from his surgery, his first question was about Sarah. She’s at home, with Tess, Tommy told him. She was far too young to see him like that. He asked what happened. They received a distress call from the boat, fire in the engine room. It blew up. So far, he was the only one found. How long had it been? Five days, Tommy said. Joel only remembered being on the island for a night. He must have been unconscious for three days before he woke up.

The doctor said he was extremely lucky. If the boat hadn’t spotted him when it did, he would be dead that very night from the bleeding. He was lucky he was unconscious; the wood plugged his wound from bleeding too much until he pulled it out. The water and food he consumed definitely helped, too. He would’ve just slipped in his sleep from dehydration of he hadn’t had a drink.

Joel asked about Allison. Allie. The doctor looked a little apprehensive before answering – he was concussed, it was mostly delirium. He was seeing things. The rescue team went and scoured that island. No one was there.

Joel couldn’t understand. She was there. He wouldn’t have been alive and rescued if not for her. She woke him up when it rained, made him drink and clean his wound, made him plant the makeshift flag, made him go get the crackers, which he wouldn’t have found on his own, weak as he was. She woke him up when the boat was sighted. She made him draw their attention.

He would be long dead if not for her.

But as they had told him, there was no one else there. Maybe he did imagine her. maybe his mind was trying to save him?

Tommy stayed with him at the hospital, not wanting to leave his brother for a second. Maria and Tess came to visit when his parents got back to look after Sarah. Joel hadn’t wanted to speak to her on FaceTime, his face was almost unrecognizable. There were cuts and bruises all over, his skin was peeling, he didn’t want to scare her.

Tess and Maria told him that Tommy left as soon as the distress call was made, and didn’t come back until he was found, refusing to believe he was dead. Liz came to the office, demanding to see his will, and for Joel to be declared dead. She made a scene when she found out that Joel had instructed that all his money and other possessions to be given to Sarah, with Tommy as the executor until she turned 21. Joel was only going to give her the house in the event of his death. She was also still the sole beneficiary of his considerable life insurance. It’s not a wonder she was antsy for him to kick the bucket.

He was suddenly exhausted again, his head hurt from all the information that was given to him. His body was hurting from his injuries. After dinner, a nurse came in and gave him some painkillers, and before long, he was asleep again.

---

“Joel! Joel! Wake up! You have to wake up! You need to get help!”

He opened his eyes slightly; Tommy was sound asleep in the chair right next to his bed.

“Joel! Look alive, old man! She’s doing something!”

He glanced to his left, a nurse was standing next to his IV, checking something. He didn’t move, unsure if he was awake or dreaming.

“Joel! Wake your brother up! Do something!”

Who was speaking? The voice sounded familiar.

The nurse glanced at him and Tommy. He closed his eyes, not wanting to make a scene if nothing was going on. He couldn’t see her face from the angle. From her clothing, she was a nurse. Maybe she was just there to administer some medications. She took something from her pocket, and produced a syringe, still in its package. Joel placed his fingers around the call button, ready to press it if necessary, careful not to move, his eyes only slightly open to watch her. She removed the syringe from the package and pulled the plunger all the way back.  She placed a needle on it and inserted it into the IV line and began to quickly push.

Joel pushed the button as many times as he could, while shouting as loudly as he could for Tommy, who jumped upright and yelled for help, despite his grogginess. Something about his brother’s voice set off an alarm in his head. The nurse, unable to complete her task, tried to run, but Tommy managed to grab her, screaming for help.

The alarms were going off. Joel had gone into cardiac arrest.

“SOMEBODY HELP!!!”

---

Joel opened his eyes, feeling as if his chest had collapsed. Tommy was sitting at his bedside, his hands rested on the bed, his chin on them, his eyes red from sleep deprivation, exhaustion and possibly emotion.

“What happened?”

Tommy heaved a sigh of relief, calling for the doctor instead of answering him.

The doctor came rushing in and gave him a quick check-up. Once satisfied, the doctor left, instructing Joel to rest as much as he could. Joel’s eyes followed the doctor out, realizing that there were police officers outside his room.

Tommy took a cup and filled it with water, and asked Joel to drink.

“Tommy, what happened?”

He looked at Joel hesitantly.

“Liz tried to kill you. She injected air into your IV line. You had a heart attack. You flatlined. It took them forever to get you back.”

Tommy began to cry.

“The only reason you didn’t die was because she didn’t manage to finish the job. You woke me up before she could. If she did… Joel, if you… I can’t…”

He sobbed. His face buried on Joel’s side, his hand clutching at his brother’s arm. 

Joel rubbed his little brother’s head, telling him he was alright. It took a while for Tommy to calm down. By then, Tess had come in, trying hard to get Tommy to go home and rest. He hadn’t left Joel’s side at all. She was starting to worry for him. He refused. Terrified to even sleep, now that Liz had done what she had done. Maria came in a while later, bringing Tommy some clothes to change into, and food for the three of them. She told him not to worry. Liz wasn’t coming back anytime soon. She was charged with attempted murder. Caught red handed. Tommy looked relieved. He was terrified she was going to get off scott free.

“Hey, Joel? How did you know she was here? How did you know to ask for help? You were on painkillers,” Tommy wondered.

Joel tried to get up. They helped him adjust the bed, so he was more comfortable.

“Someone woke me up. Screamed at me asking me to get up. Wake you up.”

“Who? There was no one in the room.”

“I know. I didn’t see her either.”

“Who are you talking about?”

“That girl I told you about. Allie.”

The room got really quiet.

“But Joel…”

“Look, I know what you said. But I didn’t imagine her. She helped me on that island. If it weren’t for her, I would be dead. Maybe she’s in my head, but she was real to me. And it was her last night. I didn’t see her, but it was her. She was screaming at me to wake up, just like she did when it rained on the island, she told me to drink. Clean my wound. She told me there was some food washed up. I couldn’t move. She forced me to. She told me to make the flags. She woke me up when she saw your boat. If she didn’t, I wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t have seen me. It was all her. I swear, I’m not crazy. Maybe I imagined her, but it was all her. Allison. Allie. With an A, but she wishes it was spelled with an E instead. Because her teacher kept calling her first in class.”

He laid his head back down, exhausted from trying to explain this. He knew what concussions could do, and he was concussed. Maybe she was in his head. But that didn’t make her unreal. She was there, and she saved his life. Twice.

Tess let out a deep breath.

“Well, if that’s the case, then thank you Allie.”

“Thank you Allie,” Maria said, raising her soda.

“Thank you Allie,” Tommy said, “here’s to you, Allie,” raising his soda before drinking the whole thing in one go, earning himself a brain freeze.

Tommy decided to stay with Joel, promising that he would rest. Joel requested a cot for him, the man looked as if he was about to fall over. The police officers had left, Liz being in custody, sure that he was not in anymore danger. They did move him to the room right in front of the nurse’s station though, at Tommy’s insistence, just for his peace of mind.

As much as Joel rolled his eyes at his brother’s overprotectiveness, Joel was secretly glad. He was having trouble sleeping that night, despite his exhaustion. Since he had arrived at the hospital, his sleep had been aided by medication. Now, he was terrified of falling asleep, worried that Liz was coming back, or that he would wake up on the island again, that all this had been a dream. He watched something on TV while Tommy slept, his eyes closing every now and again, only to be jolted awake again, too nervous to properly sleep.

But eventually, sleep took him.

---

When he woke, someone was sitting cross-legged at the end of his bed. He glanced at the clock, three am.

“Allie.”

“Hey old man. Glad to see you made it.”

“Where did you come from?”

“What are you reading from a script? Have some originality, old man. Is that all you could ever think to ask me?”

“Quit calling me old man.”

“You are old, old man.”

“I’m in my 30s, thank you.”

“Ooh… that’s not old at all��” she said, waving her hands around.

“How did you get off the island?”

“You know, you are far too interested in how I got here and there.”

“Okay, what are you doing here?”

“Visiting you.”

“It’s three am.”

“So? Maybe I’m not just visiting you.”

“Who else would you be visiting?”

“A friend, she’s on the 4th floor.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

She shrugged, averting his eyes.

Tommy stirred. Joel turned to look at him.

When he turned back, Allie was gone.

When Joel woke up the next day, he was sure he’d dreamt it all.

Really, if he really thought about it.

First of all, she disappeared when he looked away, in a split second. He didn’t feel her move or hear her run off. He might have been severely injured, and according to her, old, but to his knowledge, he could still feel his legs, and his hearing was intact, for now.

Second of all, she was what, maybe thirteen? Fourteen? It was three in the morning. Who in their right mind let their teen daughter visit someone at the hospital at three in the morning?

And finally, when he asked the nurses about it, they informed him the main door to the ward was locked at eleven at night. Someone had to buzz her in, and no one came in at that time.

Yeah, he must have been dreaming.

---

Joel had been healthy all his life. He was a strong man, made stronger by his size, his occupation, and his youth. Big, strong, imposing, deep sea fisherman. But right now, he was quite the opposite. He couldn’t talk for long without going out of breath. He couldn’t walk properly without help. He needed help showering. He needed help getting dressed.

It's so easy to give up when you went to bed a strong, horse of a man, and woke up as he did. He honestly had no idea how he had managed to walk at all on the island. His legs were severely chafed, cut, bruised, the soles of his feet practically robbed off the skin. All the bandages, the casts, the sutures were only making things worse. He had lost so much weight in the five days he was lost at sea; you would think he was a different man altogether.

He missed Sarah so badly he felt as if he was losing his mind. He talked to her on the phone, but he still didn’t look his best, and the last thing he wanted was for his little girl to think he was weak and couldn’t protect her anymore. So he waited. but it was killing him.

That first week he spent at the hospital was not necessarily bad, save for the attempted murder scenario, but other than that, he was sleeping most of the time. Whenever he was awake, Tommy was there, so that helped with the boredom. But once the doctors declared him stable, he persuaded Tommy to go home. The man had a life, a wife, a job to take care of. He couldn’t bogart him like that. But the very first day he was gone, Joel felt it. He was never an idle man, and laying on a hospital bed alone, not having company, hardly able to move, was annoying, to say the least.

He started taking short walks as soon as he could manage standing without getting dizzy. He had to use a walker, but he was walking. Just around his room at first, and then to the nurse station, before eventually making his way around the ward.

He was still not sleeping through the night. He kept waking up every couple of hours but managed to sleep longer and longer each day. He was sure he saw Allie sitting in one of the chairs one night, but when he turned the lights on she was gone. He couldn’t get her out of his head. Why did he keep seeing her? She was always in the same clothing. That should’ve been a clue that she wasn’t real, but he had a hard time accepting it.

After two weeks, he was improving, by a lot. He no longer needed the walker but could only manage walks around the ward. Tommy helped him walk beyond the ward, following him with a wheelchair just in case. He went outside for the first time after three weeks, breathing in fresh air, having been too cooped up these last twenty days. His parents brought Sarah to visit him that day. He held her tight for so long she started squealing, missing the weight of her little body in his arms, the smell of her hair. I missed you BabyGirl, you got so big. His head magically cleared up after that, finding himself able to sleep longer – he had seen his BabyGirl, he felt more like himself.

The next day, he was taken for a final scan. He fell asleep during the scan, waking up as they were wheeling him back to his room. In his groggy state of mind, he saw Allie get into the elevator. He tried to call her, but the doors closed.

As soon as Tommy and Maria got there that evening, he asked them to accompany him to the fourth floor. This whole ‘Allie is not real’ thing was really bothering him. This girl saved his life – twice. He needed to know.

They accompanied him to the fourth floor – the pediatric unit. He didn’t know what he was looking for exactly, she said she was visiting a friend. He scanned the faces of the children in the ward, their parents/guardians in the open floor ward, looking for anything that could help him find her.

He found nothing.

Until the sound of a door closing caught his attention – a corridor with private rooms laid before him. He walked in and began reading the names on the door – most were open, their occupants resting, or talking to their guardians. Right at the end of the corridor, was an open door, sounds of machines beeping inside. He glanced at the name on the door – Williams, A.

The three of them peeked inside. Joel’s insides turned cold.

There, lying unconscious on the bed, covered in tubes and wires, was Allie.

“Tommy, this is her. This is Allie.”

The three of them stared at her unconscious body, her eyes taped shut, a breathing tube down her throat.

“What happened to her?”

“I don’t know. I swear I saw her walking around this morning.”

“Excuse me, can I help you?”

Joel turned around, and saw you standing by the open door, a cup of coffee in your hands.

---

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude. I’m here to visit Allie.”

“You know my sister?”

“Yeah, she, well, she saved my life.”

Joel told you everything. The island, the ward, everything.

You listened and asked him when this happened. Three weeks ago, he told you.

You stared at him and pressed the call button.

“You need to leave.”

“Wait, why?”

A nurse came in.

“Can you please escort these people out?”

“Look, I’m sorry, I just wanted to thank her, I mean no harm,” Joel was pleading with you, as the nurse began to escort him out.

“My sister couldn’t have helped you. She’s been in a coma for four months.”

---

Part 3

[witchexia]

NEW!(not included in my other headcanons) Dr. Simon Glass headcanons!

Maverick (his therapy duck!) is anomalous!

He likes to keep these marimo moss balls as 'pets' in his office (and before you ask YES he does care about them and his plants and flowers!!!!!)

oh SPEAKING OF PLANTS AND FLOWERS, i think he would have lavenders, monsteras, succulents, parlor palms in his office, but incase he knows he's too busy, sometimes he gets one of his coworkers to water them for him!

a LOT of people mentioned this headcanon but I AGREE SO MUCH, but he has a HUGE sweet tooth ! he has to stop himself from taking too much of the candy from the snack bowl he has in his office Ahihihi

also this IS canon but he keeps snacks under his desk ! i made it so he has a bowl of them ON the desk but he has backup bags under his desk, so when the snacks run out from the bowl he can simply refill it!

He ALWAYS shaves his facial hair, he got it from his military days (in the military, your face MUST be clean shaven - exceptions being mustaches and religious reasons, skin conditions etc - and he cannot get off of the habit of not letting ANY facial hair show haha

When he's alone in his office, he likes to listen to stuff like Michael Jackson or Jack Stauber while tidying up his office and playing with Maverick

He strategizes what he wears so he could be like a walking huge cuddly teddy bear (he wears warm, comfy clothes ! what he wears in summer is a new story LOL)

not sure if i mentioned this in my previous headcanons BUT he teaches his patients how to do origamis as a calming method, and he has a little cup FULL of origamis HE made !

About how he types texts, I headcanon that he switches from capitalizing his sentences to NOT doing it at all, sometimes it just depends! like- he capitalizes his sentences in VERY important text/email conversations, and he doesn't when he's texting his coworkers or patients!

If he overhears ANYONE talking about wanting to have a job in the whole psychology field, he gets REALLY excited and is TOTALLY willing to help them/offer them a role!!

another somewhat canon one, BUTTTTTTTTTTT he has access to EVERY Safe, Euclid humanoid SCP file, and a big amount of Keter files! He's spoken to almost everyone, so of COURSE everyone likes him!

On some days, he does his work in the cafeteria! You may find him there in the earlier hours in the morning or lunchtime!

Another headcanon i REALLY like, BUT he LOVES light blue - light yellow things ! he gets VERY happy when his patients bring him little trinkets with that color scheme!

a little obvious, but his fashion aesthetic is Light Academia !

IF he EVER has the time, he goes to visit a local pond to feed the ducks there fruits!

In the situations where one of his coworkers/patients are having a birthday, he COMPLETELY makes sure they feel loved and important ! He gives them fun little origami trinkets and stuff !

I feel like his patients EASILY get him to watch stuff, like for example: one of his patients talks about a popular series/movie like squid game, Simon checks it out, instantly likes it AND SO ON ! (i took inspo from someone elses headcanon for this one!)

ANOTHER somewhat canon? HEADCANON, but he's like a MAGNET for animals! if he goes out to a public park, you BET he will be surrounded by pigeons!

he LOVES card games like uno! and hes ALWAYS up for a card game with a patient/coworker! lol imagine beating your therapist in uno HAHA

(lmk if some of these headcanons are repeated from my other hcs! i forget things VERY easily and i thought of some of these on the spot ! i HAVE talked about these to some people!)

[newtness532]

did you know that pumpkins are 90% water?

[organised-disaster]

I can't be trusted. When I refer to "my babygirl" it could one of four people (and six entities)

A 16 year old boy

A ~15 year old girl

A plant

A grown ass man with a drinking problem

An agender ghost

A fat yellow dinosaur

[hana-bobo-finch]

I know I JUST said that I would be too busy to make art in the coming days but I. did it anyway. guys looks it’s lethia I love him so much. look he even has little bug-person symbol flags he’s so cool (HE DOES NOTHING) (SERIOUSLY HIS ENTIRE PURPOSE IS THAT HE DOESNT DO ANYTHING AND NOBODY REMEMBERS HE EXISTS) (HE WAS RELEVANT FOR ONE MINOR INCIDENT AND EVEN THEN EVERYONE FORGOT HE WAS THE START OF IT ONCE A WIDER CONVERSATION ABOUT THE INCIDENT STARTED)

[freebooter4ever]

What do you miss most about Pittsburgh?

Oh gosh, that's a question! I mean aside from the obvious answer of my old dance buddy lettia or naeem.

I miss pittsburgh's community, specifically the very music and art oriented one i was in. There's community here in LA but its all about fame, and money, and celebrity, and how you can use other people to get ahead. Just the other day i saw an influencer i actually kinda admired brag about meeting someone who out of respect for them + their privacy i have never never mentioned because i met them as a friend first. And it felt so weird seeing this person i know be used as click bait for the influencer's hits/likes/subscriptions. It kind of jolted some reality into me about how this city operates even in the smaller circles i run in. Its like the vibes in LA are all about 'being someone' and self importance. If someone is only going to respect me for my money (or disrespect me for my lack of money), or who i know, or credits to my name, i dont think i want their respect anyway.

Pittsburgh though - nobody was anybody in pittsburgh so we didnt fucking care, lol. It was a lot easier to go to things, to feel connected. There was an emphasis on diy, where it didnt matter who you were or who you knew if you had a good idea there was a chance it could happen. There were things like Art All Night and the various music festivals in the different neighborhoods. I was most connected to the music scene so i miss the casual afternoon concerts in someone's tiny apartment with everyone crowded around the band. The basement parties, the dancing. Ted's rowhouse was on fisk street so when i lived there with friends i really enjoyed how much of a community space it was - people were always coming and going off of butler street, movie nights, human chess parties. It definitely could feel too small sometimes - literally everybody knew everyone and everybody dated everyone. The year i left two of my ex boyfriends were living in the same house and i cant tell you the number of 'male harem' jokes i got about that one. Or the number of times a dude wanted to date me and when i said 'no' i immediately got excluded from an entire friend group. But no matter how frustrating the smallness got, i still was also aware of how special it was. Its also mostly over - a lot of my friends from that time have since dispersed to other cities. I think moments like that are fleeting, but thats what makes them unique.

But even with all that said, you know what my favorite thing to do in pittsburgh was?

Driving

and ok ok that probably sounds stupid. And it probably does not help that im in LA where driving is now the second level of hell. But even compared to seattle or nyc or other places i lived, driving in pittsburgh was just so much fun and you cant recreate that anywhere else. I once saw a data visualization of the main cities of the US and places like LA and even NYC were nicely laid out squares but pittsburgh was just this insane clusterfuck pencil scribble, and thats truly it. Cause not only do you have over 100 bridges and lots of one way roads that will funnel you onto a bridge you absolutely dont want to go over but whoops guess you're going anyway, but this city was also built on a cluster of hills. Thats what makes up the various neighborhoods - and the roads that connect these hills through hollows and over forests - are the most confusing rat maze you can imagine. For every one way to go there's also probably a dozen other options and mentally calculating which route will be fastest taking into account traffic and distance and 'speed limit' is a skill only acquired after years of living in the city. And if you have a tiny car and nasc*ar level driving skills thanks to the multiple generations of engineers in your family....driving up and down those hills is just a joy. It also, uh, helped that I made my own hours so worked from 11am - 3am most days and avoided all traffic. And in the city proper the pigs arent allowed to r*adar so as long as you knew where the speed traps were you could...uhhh... Be lenient. I only ever got pulled over once and that was because one time in the spring of 2016 i went home from work early one night and these asshole hockey fans were taking up the entire street around the rink that would get me onto bigelow and connect me to lawrenceville. And since i couldnt go down that one street, becaues its pittsburgh, i had to go in the complete opposite direction to find another route home which took like an extra fifteen minutes. And yeah i got pulled over, started crying and explaining i was just trying to get home from work, and they let me go. But damn those hockey fans. :P (but also had i realized you could go hangout outside and watch the hockey game on giant screens with a huge crowd of fellow broke but dedicated weirdos, i totally would have loved that. Thats what pittsburgh is all about lmao)

Anyway one of my old friends moved from pitt to LA, and then he moved from LA to shanghai. And i once asked him would he move back to LA and his response was that he couldn't imagine living in LA again after living in a Proper City like shanghai. And he made it clear that he saw being able to 'make it' in larger and larger cities as like...a mark of his personal progress. But me? Im a small town girl unfortunately. I still dream about the day i can fuck off to live in a cabin in the woods somewhere.

[arolesbianism]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ONI EARTH HAD SMOG SO BAD THEY COULDNT EVEN USE SOLAR ENERGY??? JUST FOUND THAT LOG AND. HEY???

YEAH I KNOW RIGHT most of the oni logs are so stuck within gravitas that it's easy to skip over the random little bits of fucked up world building, with the smog being my favorite piece cause it implies a whole fuckton of other environmental issues and it's suddenly like damn these guys were rly just living their lives while half suffocating huh

[wild-at-mind]

I feel like tags like these were inevitable on the post about people traumatising themselves for the greater good or w/e... There is SO much emphasis on posting on tumblr and other social media being so important and so useful and we must never stop. But I would like to counterargue with the idea that posting on social media (especially tumblr) constantly does very little/nothing. If that was true then the point here becomes meaningless.

[rooftops-are-for-towels]

Realizing that the hottification of skin marks and hair and all that and the increased desirability of all that fun jazz has become another body standard for people who do not have bodies that are "conventionally attractive" to look at enough already. Shout out to people with bodies with distributions of fat or lackthereof that's considered substandard that have no fun marks and tidbits bro