#and i was like: oh my???? really? i‘m so proud of you!!!!

[alkibiadessuperfan]

who would have thought that seeing a friend would make everything better?

[cocoakrispis-blog]

SCHOOL GIRLFRIEND ELLIE HEADCANONS

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who almost always snoozes her alarm and unintentionally forces you to make a routine of calling her before school every morning to make sure she’s awake.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who likes to spend the morning wandering school with you holding hands and talking about your upcoming assignments, or tests of the day.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who then ends up almost always being late to her first period because she’s way too clingy in the morning and never wants to say goodbye.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who texts you at all times throughout the day. ellie almost getting her phone taken away from her by her teachers is almost a daily thing.

“wait wait wait before you take my phone up i need to tell her that i‘m getting it taken up!” ellie bargains with her teacher to let her send on one last meage

the teacher sighs in defeat and shakes her head sadly, not even having to ask who ‘her’ was there was only one girl ellie texted and it was her girlfriend.

“yea oh my god thank you i promise i won’t text anymore in your class!” ellie practically jumps for joy when the fed up teacher hands her back her phone to message you.

she gets it taken up the next day.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who if she doesn’t have her lunch period with you will bribe your teachers to let her sit in there and just watch you work no matter how boring it is.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who walks you to all of your classes no matter how far away her next class is.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who has your schedule memorized better than her own and gets along with all of you teachers even better than you.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑who is in the advanced art classes and is almost always making projects inspired by you. when her amazing art pieces get chosen to get hung up in the hallways she is so eager to show you, obviously very proud of her own work.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who surprises you the first time she helps you with what you considered to be possible math work. she’s shockingly good at math and blushes profusely whenever you praise her for being a smarty pants.

“oh no babe you’re using the wrong equation for that one you’re supposed to be using this one.” ellie casually points to another nonsense equation on the sheet that was supposed to be helping you. truly the only thing it was helping you do was be more confused.

you snap you head up at how casually ellie fixes your problem and give her a confused look. “wait ellie i didn’t know you were good at math?”

“yeah it kinda just comes naturally to me so i never really talk about it.” ellie shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly.

you squeal at her words and immediately pounce on her to give her a tight embrace.

“gogh how did i get so lucky i have the smartest girl in school all to myself.”

ellie’s cheeks warm at the compliment and she gives you a dorky smile before returning your tight embrace.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who is actually president of some pretty nerdy clubs and is really flattered when you always attend her meetings.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who sucks at study dates and always ends up in a hot and heavy makeup session with you during it no matter what.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who puts on glasses to do school work and has no idea just how hot it is for you.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who talks about you so much to her teachers you have random adults constantly waving at you in the hallway.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who always forgets her water bottle at home and begs you for sips of your own in between classes.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who is not at all surprised whenever you guys get cutest couple in the yearbook. the whole school loves you guys together so much and now’s you guys will never break up.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who overcomes her social anxiety to go all out to ask you to all the school dances. you say yes every time and she lets out a big sigh of relief every time as if you’d ever say no.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who breaks her instagram ban to post all the pictures you took together at the latest school dance.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who very reluctantly agrees to match with you for all of the dress up days for school. you totally think she hats it but she secretly loves dressing up especially with you.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who definitely always have her big chunky headphones in the hallway and is always extremely startled when you pull up behind her.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ agrees to go to all of the school events with you despite the fact that she’d rather be at home playing video games or something.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who’s whole entire friend group loves you maybe even more than ellie, and are always hoping she invites you out to their hangouts.

“wait so is (y/n) coming or is it just you?” dina questions ellie seriously.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN JUST ME?!” ellie cried out in frustration.

“chill out dude we just want to know f she’s gonna be coming or not.” jesse lightly tries to diffuse the situation.

ellie lets out a groan at jesse’s remark before very huffily shooting you a quick text.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who definitely has a new polaroid of you in her phone case every week.

school girlfriend ellie ⭑ who proudly wears her ‘i love my girlfriend’ t-shirt to school almost every week as if anyone could forget how much she does truly love you.

a/n: okay so i know its barely been ac lupe’s days but i had to spin back on these school ellie headcanons and add even more that i’ve been thinking of. a lot of these are actually based on irl experience its so fun to have a gf during school. but yeah a lot fo you guys seemed to enjoy the first one so here’s some more hope you guys enjoyed!!!

[spiceofvy]

BTS - Teaching an innocent reader

requested by: @dambaepuff

cws: gender neutral reader, nsfw, this made me blush while writing it, dirty talk, (soft) corruption, praise, could be read as d/s if you squint, slight degradation (jin), blowjobs (jin, yoongi, jimin), handjobs (hoseok, namjoon, taehyung, jungkook), implications of the reader also receiving pleasure, mentions of porn (taehyung), mentions of masturbating in front of someone (jungkook), mentions of edging (jungkook)

Seokjin: Surprisingly he gets off the most on the idea of „taking your innocence.“ Also kinda the meanest about it as you try your best to get as much of his dick in your mouth. „Aww, you really never did this before. It's so obvious, so cute.“ „Helps“ you by pushing his hips up, not enough to choke you but just enough to startle you a bit as he suddenly shoves himself into your mouth deeper. He is not super vocal as you suck him off, as he is too high on his power trip, locking his eyes with your teary ones. His hands caressing your hair, petting your cheek, wiping your tears. „You can do more, I know it. Try harder for me.“ Encourages you to move your head on his dick, hearing you sigh around his cock as you feel his dick twitch in your mouth. He gets close to his orgasm faster than he realizes and pulls you away at the last second, coming all over your face. After he slips down from the couch onto the floor with you, wiping you clean with his shirt as his usual sweet persona returns. „You did amazing. So good for your first time. I‘m so proud. Made me feel really good.“ Gives you such great aftercare after.

Yoongi: He is oh so gentle with you. So understanding, almost tooth rotting sweet, reassuring you the whole time. „Don‘t worry about doing anything wrong, I will tell you exactly what to do.“ Helping you kneel down on the pillow he laid before his studio chair, so you don‘t hurt your soft little knees while you suck him off. He’s stroking your hair as he opens his thighs shuffling just a little bit closer, putting you face to face with his dick. „C‘mon no need to be shy, open my pants, little love.“ Chuckling at how hands shake just a little bit, as you reach for him you blush getting darker as you undress him. Secretly or not so secretly he puts all of his attention on how he likes to get pleased. He's not just teaching you how to give someone head, he is teaching you how he likes it. Where to suck, how deep to take him. He’s getting the biggest power rush from knowing that you are leaning all of this for him. Because you want to please him. Want him to feel good due to what you are doing. Ruining you for anyone else. „So good, keep doing. You know what I like, don't you?“ Pulls you onto his lap after he has come, holding you tightly, while he in turn makes you cum on his skilled fingers.

Hoseok: Oh he has so much fun „teaching“ you everything you need to know to make someone feel good, especially if that someone is him. Likes taking it nice and slow while he leads your hands down his body, cupping them in his when and slowly moves them over his dick. Shamelessly moaning in your ear, and cooing at how you blush. „Shouldn't it be me who is shy? I am the one who is naked after all. Cutie.“ Helps you jerk him off, showing you the moves. He has so many sinful yet sweet words of praise for you. „Keep going love, show me what you learned.“ Tells you when he feels close, whispering to squeeze harder, go just a bit faster, to not let go. „Doing so good for me, feeling so good. Aren‘t you listening well ?“ Squeezes you so tightly to his chest when he spills all over you, his hips twitching, riding out his orgasm. Wipes your hands clean after he comes before pressing you back onto the bed. Slowly kissing down your body, ready to repay you. Is really soft after you also came. Holding you tightly. Telling you again, and again how good you did. Just to start it all over again the next day.

Namjoon: Is so sweet and patient with you, dims all the lights so you feel less intimidated by the sight of bare skin. Hugs you tightly, laying your head on his chest, telling you to touch him whenever you feel ready for it. „Take your time, sweetheart. We‘re doing this at your tempo.“ Won't rush you, as you finally snake your hand down his sweatpants, under his underwear. Grazing his already half-hard cock, a soft sigh leaving his lips at the slightest touch worked up from anticipation. When he feels you hesitate, he takes your chin in his hand and turns your head to his, making you keep eye contact. „So good, the hardest part is done. Just touch me.“ Kisses you to calm your nerves, and moans into your mouth as you wrap your finger around his dick. Carefully you start pumping his dick, feeling his hip push towards your hand. „That's it. That's my baby. Keep going. You can do it.“ He keeps encouraging you, his hips doing most of the work. Not big on giving you direct orders, likes to teach by positive reinforcement. He comes almost embarrassingly quickly, but neither of you mind, as he hugs you even closer, kissing your cheek softly.

Jimin: Usually calm-headed in bed but the way your big innocent eyes look up at him, is doing things to him. Are awaken something in him. His eyes look dazed as he sees you sitting between his thighs, shaking trying to open his fly, but slipping. „Try again, you can do it.“ Laughs, when you blush, making you blush even more, as you sit a bit helplessly in front of his dick, eyeing it. „C‘mon you are a smart baby, aren‘t you? Try to lick it, it's intuition, I promise.“ So responsive too, getting loud so easily, as you shyly give his tip kitten licks. Buries his hand in your hair but stops himself from pushing you down, softly urging you to take something into your mouth, and more and more. Not once are you breaking eye contact and it makes him crazy. Not really helpful with advice, but his moans are enough to give you an idea of what he likes. „Look at you, doing so good for me. So perfect. Sweetest of them all.“ Comes on your mouth but immediately hands you a tissue in case you want to spit it out. Helps you onto the couch, caressing your sensitive knees. Promising to kiss them better later but first he repays you in pleasure.

Taehyung: Uses porn to help get his point across, not caring how flustered you get by the idea of the two of you watching such kinds of videos together. Sits next to you on the couch, some amateur porn running on his big-screen TV. Opens his pants and as he slowly pulls your hand to his crotch he whispers commentary into your ear. „See how he moves his hand over tip, that feels really good. C‘mon try to copy him.“ Guides your hand onto his dick, leaving you your only choice to either look at the sinful video, his face, or his cock. „Just move up and down. So good, keep going for me.“ Moans close to your ear as you do as he tells you. Pressing kisses to your cheek and neck, whispering more and more praise. As he gets closer and closer, his hips start moving on his own, working in tandem with you. The video ended already but you keep going, his sounds making you feel hot yourself, shifting in your seat. He comes over your hands, dripping onto his expensive couch but he doesn‘t care as he kisses you hurriedly. „You did amazing, what a natural talent you are.“ Kisses down your neck while undoing your pants, getting to lesson two, how to be good for him as he makes you feel just as amazing.

Jungkook: Believes in „learning by showing“, because how are you supposed to learn when you have no example to follow? Which is how you ended up with him sitting in front of you, naked stroking his dick. Telling you everything he believes you need to know to give an amazing handjob. „You need to pay attention to the base too. See?.“ He comments, as he strokes himself for you, cock shiny with the excessive amount of lube he used. Gets himself so close, making sure you get to see the whole process, „Don‘t look away. Look at me. Only at me.“ Just when he is about to come, he rips his hand away, edging himself for you. Before urging you to come try yourself, just do what he did. You can do it, he believes in you. Pulls you onto his lap, sitting chest to chest, as you reach down, shyly taking his dick into your hand, still wet with the lube. Feeling how hard and hot he is your hand. You try to imitate his moves, his eyes not leaving yours once. „Doing great, amazing. Learning so fast for me.“ Comes really fast due to his edging, and turns into a lovesick puppy afterward. He is just so proud of what you accomplished. And while he cuddles up to you, whispering sweet words, his still lube slick hands move into your pants, ready to make it even.

[wonbriiize]

baking with riize

how the members would act if you’d suggest baking something together…

⋆｡‧˚ʚ shotaro ɞ˚‧｡⋆

biggest grin on his face. he stood up and walked over to the kitchen before you could even finish your sentence. “of course i want to bake with you! let’s start right away,” he is so excited. “we should bake cupcakes!”. it‘s making you nervous that you have to tell him that you guys need to buy the ingredients first (you got nothing at home) because you don’t want shotaro to feel sad about it, but not even that is bothering him. “so what? let’s go buy them,” he grabs after your hand. “i‘m going to put so much love in making these cupcakes, just for you.”

⋆｡‧˚ʚ eunseok ɞ˚‧｡⋆

baking isn’t really his thing, he’d rather cook. so, you’re not too sad about him not participating in the baking process because he always cooks for you — now it is your turn to make something for him. you decide to bake your delicious brownies. “you’re going to love my brownies!” “you‘re making them specifically for me, so of course i will love them,” he smiles at you. and even though eunseok said he doesn’t want to help you bake them, he can’t just sit there and watch you do all the work. he stands up, puts on his apron and walks right next to you. “they are going to taste even better now because we will make them together. tell me what i can do.”

⋆｡‧˚ʚ sungchan ɞ˚‧｡⋆

flour fight. it started when sungchan tried to pour the flour into the bowl but he missed, which resulted in half of the flour landing on the kitchen counter. you wanted to clean it but sungchan thought it would be funny to blow the flour.. right into your face. “you did not just do that,” you rub your hands over your face, cleaning it. sungchan laughs. “you look like a clown.” opening your eyes, you glare at him. he apologetically puts his hands up. “i meant a lovely clown! not these creepy ones.. but if you keep looking at me like this i might change my opinion,” he laughs even more. you grab after the flour in the bowl and throw it at him. the two of you keep doing this until all the flour is gone.. poured all over the kitchen. you would be mad, but honestly, this was far more entertaining than baking.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ wonbin ɞ˚‧｡⋆

decorating the cookies you two have just baked is serious business to him and he’s not letting himself get distracted. not even when you plant kisses all over his face (because you’re so proud that he‘s working so hard on this). “y/n you have to stop, i need to concentrate.” this makes you pout, but you pull yourself together and let him work on the cookies. you decide to decorate your own cookies and you are so invested in it that you don’t bother to look at how wonbin decorated his cookies until he puts one in front of you. he drew a heart and wrote your initials in it. looking over to his side of the counter, you see that he has done it to every single one of the cookies he has decorated (and he has decorated a lot). when wonbin sees how speechless you are, he smiles proudly, pulling you close to him. now it’s his turn to plant kisses all over your face.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ seunghan ɞ˚‧｡⋆

heart-shaped. to everything you suggest to bake, seunghan keeps saying “it needs to be heart-shaped!”. after you decide on making a big heart-shaped cake, seunghan can’t wait to start baking. it takes the two of you hours to finish (because sometimes seunghan would wrap his arms around you, start kissing you and you’d just get lost in it), but once you do, the cake turns out to be better than you could have imagined it. before you could decide on how to decorate the cake, seunghan is already on it. he writes down “seunghan loves *y/n* very much” with icing and proudly grins at you afterwards.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ sohee ɞ˚‧｡⋆

“i haven’t baked in ages,” sohee admits when you ask him to bake pizza together. “oh, c’mon, pizza isn’t that hard to make,” you plead with your eyes and sohee can’t help but to give in. whenever you look at him with those beautiful eyes of yours, he has no other choice. he would do anything to see them sparkle. once you finish making your own pizza, you look over to see how sohee is doing. “don’t look yet!” he says, trying to cover up the pizza he has been working on, but it’s too late, you’ve already seen that he cut off the edges to make the pizza look like a heart. it makes you smile so hard that your cheeks start hurting. sohee sighs when he notices that you’ve seen his surprise for you. “i even put on your favorite toppings,” he softly smiles.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ anton ɞ˚‧｡⋆

“i don‘t think i‘m good at baking,” anton shyly says when you drag him into the kitchen. “you don’t have to be, you got me. just follow my orders,” you grin at him. anton nods, not really trying to get out of the situation because he knows you won’t let him. you two decide to bake muffins and as of right now, everything is going well. you only had to help anton once (out of nervousness, he almost poured salt into the bowl instead of sugar so you had to stop him). it’s making you really happy that anton is here, trying his best even though he isn’t very good at baking. “thank you for doing this with me,” you nudge him softly and he smiles. “you know i’d do anything for you.”

[graneymar]

Could you write neymar x reader

When neymar gets drunk and doesn't recognise reader so when she comes up to him to go home he backs up and shows his wedding ring while laudly saying "I'm a married man, HAPPILY MARRIED to a beautiful woman" and his teammates just laughing with reader 🌹����

#7. NEYMAR: DRUNK IN LOVE

SUMMARY: above

WARNINGS: none

PAIRING: Neymar x fem!reader

Neymar was celebrating his birthday in one of his favorite clubs in Paris. Since we got married, he barely went to parties, so the alcohol got to his head very fast.

"Y/N, do you know where Ney is? We wanted to say bye before leaving", Kylian said, Achraf beside him looking for Neymar. My eyes wandered through the club, but my husband was nowhere to be found. "I have no idea, Kyks, sorry", I shrugged, "But feel free to go. He'll probably doesn’t even notice." Achraf laughed, "Good luck taking his drunk ass home." We hugged and I watched them get out of the club. "No but seriously, where are Leo and Neymar? I haven’t seen them in about an hour", Antonella yawned. It was about 3am, some of his mates were already leaving or at least planning to - our husbands simply disappeared. "I'll go and look for them", I sighed. Marco and Sergio didn’t want me to walk through the crowded club alone, so they followed me around. I went upstairs as I remembered there was another dance floor aswell. This one was way more empty, probably because there was music you wouldn’t really party to. So even though it was quite dark in there, I immediately saw Neymar and Leo at the dance floor. The song 'Lambada' started playing and Neymar shouted, "Oh meu Deus!" He jokingly started swinging his hips to the rhythm, but to my surprise, he did pretty good, even in this state. Leo was laughing at Ney, but attempted to repeat his moves. Both of them were holding a bottle of champagne, taking some sips every now and then. Antonella, Marco, Sergio and me were observing them for a quite a while, until I realized his other mates found their way to us too. Marquinhos immediately recognised the song and ran up to Ney and Leo, joining their dance session.

We had a good laugh watching them, but I came to the decision that it was time to leave, especially when Antonella kept on yawning. I tapped on Neymars shoulder as he turned his back to me. He ignored my action and continued dancing. "Ney", I shouted out. Didn't he hear me or didn't he want to hear me? I softly dragged him back by his shoulder. "Come, let’s go home", I whispered into his hear. His eyebrows furrowed and he removed my hand from his shoulder. "Thank you, but no. I‘m a married man", he started as he put his hand up, shoving his wedding ring right into my face, "Happily married to the most beautiful woman. She’s the only one I'll go home to. Thanks for the offer though." I was absolutely perplexed. Was he so drunk he didn’t even recognise me? Walking back to Antonella and the rest of his mates, all of them were laughing. "At least you know he’s trustworthy", Sergio said and shrugged chuckling. "Yeah, I guess", I mumbled, unable to hold back a giggle.

The song ended and some lights were turned on. Marquinhos pointed at us standing in the corner. Neymars eyes sparkled up the moment he saw me. "Oh meu amor", Ney began as he finally made his way to us and hugged me, "You won't believe what happened!" I raised a brow at him, wanting him to continue. "Some bitch just came up to me while I was dancing. She tapped my shoulder but I ignored it, really. Then…", his eyes widened, his hand gestures getting wild, "Then she fucking pulled me back to herself and said, hey, let’s go home!" He was shocked, "Can you believe that?" I bit my lip, trying not to burst out into laughter, "And what did you say?" Neymar smiled, proud of himself.

"I help up my hand and went like no, thank you, I am happily married and my wife is the most beautiful." I nodded and grinned at the attitude he was telling his story with. "Actually, I wanted to tell her to run. I knew if you saw her trying to flirt with me, she'd lose her fucking head." I took his hand and dragged him out of the club. Luckily, the club wasn’t far from our home, so I decided we would just walk. "This bitch", Neymar mumbled looking around, "I'll tell you when I see her. Why would she even do that? Everyone knows I am married." I smiled as I stopped my walk and stood right in front of him. "Babe, that bitch was me. You can calm down now", I admit, placing a short kiss onto his lips. Neymar was visibly confused. "It was really you?"

"Mhm", I nodded. Neymar quietly laughed at himself. "Well, at least you know how smitten with you I am", he grinned and kissed my cheek. "Yeah, that’s exactly was Sergio said too."

[mythunderstorm]

Let you go | MV1

Max Verstappen x fem!reader

summary: despite breaking up with you years ago, it seems like Max‘ still can’t forget about the time you shared.

warnings: short mention of J*s Verstappen, not really an happy ending but still sweet? idk

Normally I don’t write in first person but idk, just wanted to try something so enjoy some (short) heartbreak from Max‘ pov while I mentally prepare myself for the singapore gp lol

masterlist

It had been years since we broke up. Maybe five or even six, I think. Highschool sweethearts. Unbelievably in love but sadly not meant to last. I haven’t seen you since graduation, you going to university, I fulfilled my dream.

That‘s why this is the last place I ever expected to see you again - at one of my races. I remember that smile, that silky hair, those bright eyes, still the same from those years ago.

Just.. you.

You look a little lost, like you’re not exactly sure where to go or what to do. I was the one ending things. My career got more serious, I told you my attention should be a 100% on racing now. I told you what my father told me. I‘m sure you know my dad had something to do with the break up but you never dared to actually ask. I wouldn’t have told you the truth, anyway.

My eyes are entirely focused on you and then your eyes met mine. You realize you‘ve been caught. I notice you're with a friend, maybe even a new relationship. Regardless, seeing you brought back many bitter memories and feelings. I look forward, determined to ignore you, ignoring the part of my soul still in love with you.

I wonder if you sometimes wonder what would have happened if I never ended things with you. Because I certainly do. Would we still be together now? Or would it have ended one way or another?

I wonder if you still miss me, or if there's still any room for love in your heart. Because despite all the time that has passed, I love you. More than you know.

I can see you look up at the podium, proud but sad at the same time. I actually archived my dreams. The ones I told you about all the time while we were teenagers. The whole reason why I broke up with you in the first place. I did it. But sadly, not with you by my side.

It was heartbreaking. I still loved you deeply and after today, I wonder what might have been, if I made a mistake all those years ago.

Bullshit. I know I made a mistake that night. Ever since, your eyes kept me up at night.

I had to try and forget you, but that was much easier said than done. I missed the warmth of your eyes, your warm comforting touch. I missed your sweet voice and laugh. I missed everything about you.

Would you ever talk to me again, if you had the chance? I would want to talk to you. I‘m sure you miss me, even if it’s just a little bit. I was always good at reading your expressions.

But I am not the same guy you used to date in highschool. I’m not sure if I’m still the kind, caring Max you met and fell in love with. Because I don’t think I am that person anymore.

But I wonder the same about you. If you’re still the same caring, kind and friendly person you used to be. But I’m sure you are. You are perfect.

Even in the depths of our break up, no one else could replace you, and I think I'd known that back when we were together. It was impossible to not love you. Your presence alone made me feel like I had wings.

I look back at the late nights you sneaked me into your bedroom. Trying to keep your giggles at bay, getting lost in my eyes.

I miss those late nights we spent together and all the times we snuck around for that quick kiss or touch.

I miss holding your hand secretly underneath the table in the geography class we had together.

I miss holding you closely and feeling the heat of your body.

But most of all, I miss the warm touch of those lips. I wonder if they still taste and feel the same.

Oh what I’d give to kiss you again. Only once. If only you knew the feelings I felt for you. How the mere thought of your fingers on my skin or your voice whispering in my ear made my world stop.

I miss those long and tight hugs, I miss holding you in my arms as if I never wanted to let you go as I kissed your neck.

Oh god, I wish I was down there right now, next to you.

You smile at me and I ask myself if you’re bathing in memories and sorrow just like me. You throw one last glance at me, full of love but full of despair. Like you’re face is trying to say that you’ll always love me endlessly but it just wasn’t meant to be.

I look up and our eyes meet once again, though I know it is for one final goodbye. My heart beats faster as I look down at you from the podium and see this smile on your face. That smile I fell in love with so many years ago. I can't believe you've always lived in my heart, this entire time.

And now I let you go.

Or at least, I try.

[skipper1331]

World Cup Loss // Mary Fowler

a/n: based off this request.

"Baby, look what your mom just sent me!" you shouted as you made your way over to Mary who was sitting on the couch with her laptop on her lap. "Show me" your body flopped next to her as she closed her laptop.

It was a picure of the two of you after a u20s game. Mary had her arm around your torso while you talked to her dad. Your faces were still a little sweaty, a result from playing 90 minutes but nonetheless you looked beautiful. Mary had the biggest heart eyes as she looked at you, smiling widely.

Everyone around could see that Mary was so in love with you.

"Why didn‘t she sent me that picture?" the striker pouted.

"She loves me moreeee" you replied, cheeky. "She does" Mary agreed as she pulled your legs over her lap, her eyes like on the picture: heart eyes.

"Because you‘re one of a kind-"

Your bubble was broken when your phone rang, both of you looking at it. "Coach. What shall I do? Oh god. Mary, what shall I do?" You shoved your phone right in front of her face, waving nervously with it.

"Take it, love" her voice was calm - the complete opposite of you, you were panicking.

You accepted the call while you stood up, "Hello," internally hitting yourself at the weird greeting with your quevering voice.

The world stopped.

Your face went pale whilst you could just listen to Tony Gustavsson.

"Thank you… yes… have nice day!" were your last and only words before you hung up, your phone slipping out of your hand.

"My love? Are you alright? What happened?"

Mary turned you around so she could look at you - herself standing. "I did it," you whispered in disbelief, "I really did it. I‘m in the squad."

"Baby! That‘s amazing! I‘m so proud of you" she hugged you in a death grip, spinning you around. Utterly in shock, you couldn‘t even hug her back.

Not even two seconds later after she‘d put you down her phone started ringing.

'Tony Gustavsson'

"My phone! Argh! What shall I say?" Now, she was the one panicking - you calm. "Take it" you repeated her words, your hand finding hers.

Mary was shaking slightly yet smiling, nodding along. "Thank you! Bye!"

"We‘re going to the World Cup, baby!" squealing, she picked you, your legs wrapping around her waist as you held her face. "I‘m so so proud of you," each word said between kisses.

"We‘ve been dreaming about this since we‘re little. Baby, we‘re going to a World Cup!"

Her lips found yours, kissing them passionately. All you could think about was Mary, the way her lips felt on your own. The slow movements of her tongue made you go crazy, desiring more. Pulling away, your lover attached her lips to your neck, sucking on a certain spot where she knew it made you weak. "Mary" you whimpered, breathlessly, your hips grinding against her while her hands rested on your bum.

"I love you, i love you so much"

-

Australia vs Ireland

Starting XI, Mary and you made it. You were in the lineup. Nervous wouldn‘t even describe what you felt when you entered the changing room. You were jittery and excited, you couldn't sit still for a minute, not even when Mary braided your hair like she always did.

The feeling to walk on the pitch, a complete nation behind you who supported you was absolutely amazing. It was just wow.

When Steph slotted that penalty, the whole stadium went crazy as well you did. You jumped screaming on your teammates, overcome with joy.

The first goal of many, hopefully.

The next game was against Nigeria, Mary was on the bench while you were in the starting lineup. It was a rough game, you couldn’t do more than assist Emily to make it 1-0 yet shortly after, the draw was made.

It was 1-1 at half time - nobody was happy. At the 60th minute, you got subbed off, not happy with your performance. You took a seat next to Mary who was watching you closely. She wanted to tell you that she was proud of you but she didn‘t, she remained silent. She knew the signs. She knew when the right moment was to say something to you or when it was better to be quiet. In that moment, it was better to be quiet, to just be there.

5 minutes after your substitution, Nigeria went in the lead with 2-1. To be honest, you didn‘t know how to feel. This was the group stage everything was possible. And it was dangerous. You hoped that your team would make it 2-2 but then Oshoala made it 3 to 1. Your teammates looked exhausted but still determined. They had hope - you had hope.

In the 90+10th minute Alanna made the score line 3-2 but it wasn‘t enough. Australia had lost by one goal.

You laid in Marys arms, searching for comfort. Why didn't you play better? "I can hear your thoughts," the striker whispered, your legs tangled together as she played with your hair, "You need to believe, my love. I‘ll promise you we‘ll make it past the group stage"

And you did.

Canada vs Australia, you had to win. Everyone was confident. Australia could do it. The fighting spirit of each individual player was there, the communication and tactics worked and the 1-0 came by. Hayley Raso scoring a banger. The stands erupted in cheers and 20 minutes later, the one and only Hayley Raso scored again.

2-0

If you thought the stadium was loud before, hell no, now, every fan was screaming at the top of their lungs.

Despite the fact that the score was 2-0 at half-time, Canada shouldn't be underestimated. Canada had world class players like Sinclair, Fleming, Leon and many more. The whole squad was full of top players. But Australia played at its best. As the 58th minute came, it was the time to shine for your girlfriend, this time for real. Her goal counted. You were the first to jump on her as your teammates followed. "THAT‘S MY GIRL!" you yelled, not only you and your teammates but the whole nation was proud. You wanted to kiss her - you didn‘t. This was a world cup match, not a place to kiss. Yet she would receive that well deserved kiss later.

Last but not least Steph made the score 4-0. You kind of felt sorry for Canada but this was a World Cup.

After the game you talked to some canadian players and comforted them. Yes, you were happy you won but seeing the others cry hurt a bit, you knew a lot of them.

At the end you swapped your shirt with Jessie Fleming as a reminder. You didn't mean to be mean in any way, it was common to swap shirts and the Canadian jerseys looked really nice, to be honest.

Behind closed doors you kissed Mary, you kissed her like the proud girlfriend you were. You kissed her the way she deserved to be kissed.

And she kissed you like you were the only one, she kissed you like she would lose you. You laid in bed, kissing and holding each other. You made it past the group stage. "You were right," you mumbled in her neck, half asleep, "We made it"

"I promised you, my girl. You know I never break my promises." She pressed a gentle kiss to your head before she fell in to a slumber, exhausted from the day.

-

Round of 16.

Some people thought that wasn‘t much but this wasn't true at all. It was already the first knock-out game in a world championship where nobody went down without a fight. Everyone tried to do their best as a team and individual. And for Australia's luck (and talent) it went 1-0, Caitlin Foord scoring and Hayley Raso making it 2-0. The team was overcome with joy. They survived their first Knock-out match and were about to play in a quarterfinal - against France. Tough call. France was a top team.

The game started with you on the bench and Mary in the starting XI, she looked so good.

The perfect chance came in the 40th minute for Australia. The french goalkeeper besides the goal, Mary shooting. Out of nowhere came de Almeida who managed to prevent the goal. Your heart stood still for a moment as well of your teammates on the bench, basically everyones heart stopped beating for a moment in the stadium. Everyone thought the ball was going in for sure but it didn‘t. Mary was angry and disappointed yet it wasn't a reason to give up, you had to admit de Almeida did a really great job defending the goal.

0-0 at half time.

0-0 at the 90th minute.

Extra time.

You were subbed on but couldn't help to make the lead. It was going in to penalties. Australia was nervous but determined.

France started but missed.

Foord 1-0

Diani 1-1

Catley 1-1

Renard 1-2

Kerr 2-2

Le Sommer 2-3

Fowler 3-3

At this point you were a nervous wreck, holding on to your teammates, praying that you would win.

Périsset 3-3

Macca on fire!

Arnold 3-3

Geyoro 3-4

Gorry 4-4

Karchaoui 4-5

Yallop 5-5

Lakrar 5-6

Carpenter 6-6

Dali 6-6

Macca saving not once but twice.

Hunt 6-6

Gosh, your heart couldn‘t take it anymore.

Bècho 6-6

Steph and Sam both looked at you. You had to take that penalty. You've never been a fan of penalties, you've either shot over the goal or hit the post and now you should take the winning penalty. They were crazy. Your face should have told them that you didn't want to, that you couldn't but you had no other choice. You had to do it. Slowly, you walked to the penalty area, many cameras were pointed at you, the whole world could see how nervous you were. However, once you had put the ball on the spot, your whole face changed. Your face was stone cold, no sign of nervousness.

Mary was sweating, hoping, wishing. You had to do this. For your own sake and Australias.

You took three steps back, one to the side.

The world stopped, Durand dived right and your shot went left. You scored!

Y/L/N 7-6

Australia made it. They‘re in the semi-final. Your whole team jumped on you, shouted roars of passion, feeling energetic.

In the locker room, Macca and you in the middle of the circle as everyone sang and danced around you. They celebrated you. Mary watched you closely, she felt so much joy - seeing you, winning, about to play in a semi-final. As you stretched out your hand for Mary to join you she instead pulled you close, kissing you in the middle of the changing room. Your friends wolf-whistled while your cheeks turned red.

"I love you"

-

You had lost against England.

Toone scored first, wasn‘t great but Australia still had a chance then in the 63rd minute Sam equalized.

71st minute, Hemp 1-2

86th minute, Russo 1-3

It hurt, tears streamed down your face as you pulled your shirt over your head, sitting defeated on the grass. You wanted to hide from the world, you gave everything and it wasn't enough. You didn‘t know what to do. You wanted to be at Marys side but couldn‘t move. "I‘m sorry," Alex Greenwood whispered as she had her hand on you neck, squatted down. She was like a mentor to you, a big sister, one of the first people who made Machester feel like home, "I‘m proud of you" she gave your forehead a kiss before she left you alone. Esme, Chloe and Lauren giving you a hug which you appreciated. You left as soon as you could, you didn‘t listened what Gustavsson said, you couldn‘t. It fell to death ears. You wanted to go home.

Mary felt devastated, heart broken.

That night, you laid in each others arms, holding on to one another as if the other would disappear. There was so much to say but neither of you could. Silent tears were rolling down your faces, fingertips wiping them away, softly.

For hours you laid in silence, seeking comfort in the touch of your lover. "I don‘t know what to say," Mary whispered, her hands holding your waist in manner of comfort, "i have so much to say but i don‘t have the words…"

"I know.."

"It- it just hurts, so much. I couldn’t do anything to help the team. And- and looking at you hurts because you- you look so sad while you probably feel the same. I don‘t know."

Your thumb caressed her cheek as a single tear rolled out of her eye. "I‘m so proud of you, Mary. It's not optimal how it went, for sure but other nations didn't even make it that far. At the end of the day, we can be proud of ourselves even if it hurts," you whispered, "We can win 3rd place"

You didn‘t. Australia had lost 2-0 against Sweden. It stung.

This time, Mary was by your side. She didn‘t want to be anywhere else. She hugged you as if her life depened on it, crying in your neck. You wanted to whisper sweet nothings in her ear like you always did when she cried but you couldn‘t. You grieved as well. Seeing Sweden get their medals hurt, seeing all those happy faces while you felt pain yet Sweden deserved it, they played fantastic, no matter if some fouls happened. As you watched their ceremony the complete Australia team sat on the ground, looking exhausted and broken. Mary had her arm around you, needing to feel your touch to somehow ease her pain, as your head rested on her shoulder. Comforting one another.

"love?" you asked. She squeezed your hip to let you know she was listening. "Do I think I can ask Rolfö for her shirt?"

Fridolina Rolfö was one of your favorite players, she was just wow, you liked the way she played and her unique talent. Though you didn‘t know If it was the right time to ask her yet you didn‘t know when or If you would ever play against her again.

Chuckling at your admiration torwards the blonde, your lover pulled you close, "Go for it, baby." You looked at her, a smile covering your face.

"Do you think she‘ll give it to me?"

"You have to find out"

Your teammates swarmed out to talk to a few of the swedish players (Steph talked to Stina, Sam with Magda,…).

Yes, you lost an important game but that didn't mean you don't show respect or sportsmanship to your friends.

Nervously, you made your way to Rolfö, "Hi?" your voice was shaking. "Hey!" the tall blonde greeted you, smiling fondly at you, "Umm do- do you wanna swap shirts? With me?" Awkward! Mary watched you, laughing to herself at your nervous state. She could imagine what you just said. "Sure! I‘d love to" Rolfö replied, already taking off her shirt. You turned around, respecting her privacy - there was none in the stadium but still, you respected her and Mary. You took off your jersey as well, handing it to her as you swapped. "Th-thank you" gosh, you were an awkward mess. To be fair, who wouldn‘t?? She pulled you in a hug, thanking you for your shirt and the game before you walked to your girlfriend who grinned. "Fridolina Rolfö just hugged me" you said, not believing what happened.

Back at the hotel, the team ate together before everyone went to their rooms. Your pain wasn‘t away and maybe it would never go away but you would come back stronger, the whole team would.

You were already laying in bed as Mary joined you, her head rested on your chest as her hand laid on your stomach, tracing patterns. "I love you" she whispered, feeling the urge to tell you. Her mind was back at the match, what she could‘ve done better. "Look at me" her eyes found yours, they looked so sad "I‘m disappointed, too. We wanted more and we could‘nt achieve it. It‘ll hurt for a while but we changed this sport forever. Look at us, look at Australia, look at all the little girls, we can be proud"

"When did you become so wise?"

"it’s always been in my nature" giggling, she started tickling you. Hovering above you, she stared at you with so much love, the same way as on the picture her mom sent you which was also her wallpaper, by the way, the same way like all those years ago: with heart eyes.

The out-come of the World Cup wasn‘t the result you wanted but at the end of the day you could be proud of yourselves.

The Matildas would come back stronger.

—————————

[vespervanbebber]

when he wins, we will go backwards. It will get worse.

They will hate, and they will be proud of it.

And things, will get Bad.

And maybe, as some say, this will be the dismantling of ‘America‘ (tm). That, the empire falls. That, the oncoming storm signifies a new world war. Or something.

But when he wins, I‘m not going just Watch as things get worse and worse. I‘m not going

to lose.

And we‘ll see

We‘ll see how hard he wins. How bad it gets.

And if it gets really fucking bad, and all my protesting and all my fighting ends up with some nasty little visit from the nasty little restructured government, knocking on my door to take me away,

I‘m not going to be there. I‘m not going to go.

Because there IS something to the endless trumpeted (ha) ‘freedom and anarchy‘ argument from those ultra-survivalist, gung-ho first amendment dick riders: “That we must be Ready to Fight the Government when it finally wants to take Everything away“.

And they are right.

A well armed minority is harder to oppress.

And so, after I have done everything I can to peacefully dissent; after I have screamed my voice hoarse, Raging Against the Machine;

They‘ll come for me.

If things get bad.

And I will disappear.

I will use all those skills that are so hatefully coveted by the racists and homophobes and pedo-protectors and so on and on and on like a Star-Wars title crawl of skin crawling depravity, against them.

And Once everything becomes so extreme that they are Taking people from their homes, because they have dissented, by dissent or existence,

-If, things get that bad-

Then I will join them on their level.

Let America become the third world country it has never gotten to be.

Things aren‘t bad yet.

They look like they might Get bad, things aren‘t bad yet and you already see republican idiots missing shots

at their own presidential candidate.

And so, oh here me, you knock-off annoying orange leather-skinned used-steel-wool lookin fishdick, If It comes down to It,

If you start coming for me and my friends.

Hell, if you start coming for anyone

I will assure you, that America, true America, founded on the bricks of stonewall, the eradication of smallpox, the backs of ringfighting immagrants just scraping by, the endless sky above plains and forests that is not gone yet, the men and men and women that somehow landed men and men and women on the moon, will cost you. We will cost you dearly.

Because if you look at it, in most everywhere she is losing, she is losing by 3%.

Do you want to go to war?

Do you want to go to war with 47% of America?

It doesn‘t take a historian (though I am one, by degree) to recall how that went for you last time.

Civil war two. I can be Sherman. You can be dead.

Because I know that there must be at least a few, enough other like me out there.

Others who are Just as capable

of your hateful, spiteful violence

as you are.

More even.

We won‘t miss.

And unlike you, who will be out, on the street, or in your homes, or at the supermarket, preaching your hateful hymns,

I will be hiding

I will be in the woods, with the fairies and horrible terrible naught

I will be shadows, and Grassy Knolls, and theatre booths,

And you will be gone.

Of course, this is If he wins.

and this is if it gets real bad.

I hope it doesn‘t.

Of course, it shouldn‘t have to.

I shouldn‘t be strategizing with my trans buddy about possibly fleeing the country.

But it is what it is.

And if what it is what it is is real nasty,

expect nasty back.

[dontyouworrydaddy]

Right where you left me

Title from Taylor Swift‘s song Right where you left me🫧

Leon Kennedy x gn! Reader

summary: After breaking up with Leon you never visited the café you guys used to have y‘alls date. What happens when you decide to buy a coffee und see him sitting in the corner you guys used to sit?

Warning: other than heartbreaking and seeing Leon sitting alone and looking at his coffee, none.

not my gif!

It‘s been five months since you and Leon broke up. It was because you guys were having problems with communicating and it got so worse you just had to leave. A part of you hated you because you left the man you truly love but the other part of you is proud of you because for the first time you put yourself first. You told Leon to find you when he is ready to start a new relationship after seeing a therapist. You even gave him the number of a very good therapist in town which your best friend is also visiting.

And now… You’re standing in front of the cafe Leon and you would have your regular date. Every Tuesday at 3 pm. You would sit there for hours and drink y‘alls coffee while enjoying each other’s presence. There were times where none of you would talk. Just looking at each other like some Teenagers. And now… everything is gone.

But you’re really craving for some good coffee after having the most exhausting day at work. You get in without thinking any further and make your way to the cashier.

“Hey! What can I get for you?” the orange haired woman asks you with a kind smile. You feel like you‘ve seen her somewhere but you can’t figure out from where. “Hey. I‘d like to have a double espresso to go.” you tell her. She tabs on the iPad and looks at you again. “Would you like to pay with cash or card?” she asks you and you hand her the cash with tip with a smile “with cash and the rest is tip.”

She smiles and before she goes to make your order she stops and turns to you leaving you a bit confused. “I have a question.” Now you’re curious. What might her question be? You tilt your head and your eyebrows furrow. “Yes?” you answer. “This might be a weird thing to ask but… did you and your boyfriend break up? Because I didn’t see you guys here in a long time. It was kinda sad not seeing you guys sitting at your regular place with your regular drink. We Were a bit worried since you guys were the locals.” Oh? Of course this was gonna happen. You gulp really loudly and your face sadden. The cashier notices your face change real quick and adds “I- uh I- didn’t really mean to uh… you know. It wasn’t my intention to bring up memories. I‘m really sorry if I hurt you” you can feel the woman being worried about accidentally hurting you and quickly shake your head. “No it’s okay. We are just… yeah we broke up” you whisper the last sentence. It feels like someone is stabbing your heart. Maybe stabbing you won’t hurt you as much as your heart hurts right now. “I‘m sorry to hear that. You guys were so cute. Anyways… before I leave to make your order…uh- He is sitting at your regular place. You know in the corner right back. He never stopped coming here” she tells me before leaving.

He never stopped coming here?

Is it really just for the coffee? A part of you hopes that he still comes here because of you, hoping to see you.

Curiosity wins and you step to the side a bit, trying to get a look at the back of the caffe.

And she was right. He is sitting there, all alone and looking at the coffee. The coffee you always ordered when you were having your dates with him. But you thought that he would never in a million years would drink that. But here he is, drinking it. You can’t figure out how he might feel because his face doesn’t hold any emotions. Should you go and say hi to him? Would that be awkward?

“Here is your order. Have a great day!” the woman says while handing you your coffee. You thank her and take your drink.

And now you’re standing there. Wondering if you should go and say hi.

You want to run to him and kiss him for as long as you can. You want to run to him and hug him and confess that you missed him so much. You want him to know that you spend days crying because you felt bad for leaving him with an opening ending. But you also just want to leave and not look back.

But somehow you feel like your feet is acting on their own and now you’re walking towards him. “I thought you would never drink that?” you speak and he flinches. He turns his head to you and you see how his face lights up. Immediately, he jumps up from his seat and looks at you. “Y/N? Oh my god. Hey!” his voice is still deep and so damn sexy. You remember how he used to praise you with this voice while he was-

Snap out of it.

“Hi Leon. How are you?” you ask him and give him a genuine smile. The corner of his lips curl a bit and you could bet he was trying to hide a smile. Also, you notice that he is pretty nervous because his hands are doing everything but standing still next to him.

“I‘m good. Yeah. Uh…. how are you?” he asks you back. “I‘m good thanks. But since when are you drinking my regular drink?” you ask him and you can feel him getting even more nervous. “Actually it still tastes like shit. I… I honestly don’t know” he stutters. If it still tastes like shit than why is he drinking it? You don’t get the point.

But you decided to not push the topic further as you realize that this question made him pretty nervous because now he started to swing with his body. You guys stay silent for a solid minute before it gets any more awkward you decide to break the silence.

“Okay… Than I should probably get going. Bye Leon” As you were about to turn around you can feel his huge hands wrap around your wrist and stopping you from leaving. Before you can ask hin what’s wrong he interrupts you.

“I really missed you Y/N. Home doesn’t feel like home since you left.” he starts confessing. His voice is heavy, you can hear it. “ I’m going to a therapist and I‘m actually doing great. I‘m making progress. I don’t know why I‘m telling you this. Maybe because I just wanted to you know.”

He did in fact went to see a therapist. Not only because of you but also because of himself. He realized how much he was hurting you without even knowing. He also didn’t realize that he was hurting himself. So he decided to take help from someone professional.

“I didn’t talk to other woman. I mean yes I talked to them but not in that way. I kept rejecting them and told every single one of them that I‘m seeing someone. I want you to know that I still love you. And I think I will love you until I take my last breath. My heart will continue to beat for you until it stops beating. ” now you can feel a tear escaping your eye. It feels like someone is putting weight on your heart. It’s too heavy and your heart can’t take that.

“But please don’t feel bad for leaving me. Actually, I‘m kinda glad you did. Because now I‘m healing and I can be the man you truly deserve. I was being serious about us marrying. And I was about to come and find you again. Asking you for another chance. So please Y/N, can I take you out on a date? Just to talk. Because right now I don’t look good and I want us to have more time to talk.”

His little speech kinda touched you. He did really change. He is changing and he is healing. That’s what you always wanted for him. Not thinking too long you nod and it makes him happy. You can see his smile brighter than the sun.

“Next Tuesday, at 3 pm, here?” he asks you.

“Okay” you agree.

[humans-are-space-orcs-1004]

Competitive Chomping (Episode 5 of Human Jon [space orcs])

Warning: If i spell any of the alien words wrong then thats because im on a different keyboard and cant be bothered to check each word

Alice decided to go see her family while Jon, B‘ksa ans L‘öšmgj headed into the heart of the city. Jon‘s parents were taking care of Fluff.

J: Oh my god! A competetitive chompdown!

L‘: Come again?

J: It‘s this thing we do where we have a competition to see who can eat the fastest. You register by filling out a form then you compete against opponents to finish 50 celloth sausages the fastest.

B‘: Why would anyone do this?

J: For fun? People pay to watch this. Speaking of, I‘m gonna buy us a ticket each to watch.

B‘: What could possibly be fun about this? You aren’t savoring the food and you don’t even need that much! You could feed a family with that many celloth sausages.

J: You‘re right, it is a waste of food but the reason it‘s fun is because it‘s just a fun way of competing against others.

L‘: Humans have a weak digestive track. Do they not throw up afterwards?

J: Well yeah but we get to watch them do it! Part of the fun.

B‘: How come there’s only humans comepting?

L‘: That‘s not very progressive.

J: No, see this schedule? It says that today only humans comepte and tomorrow anyone can compete. Humans are at a disadvantage aginst other species so you know.

The three of them get into the crowd to watch strangers force feed themselves plant meat that could have fed a battalion of children. Because Jon bought the tickets off of someone else who didn’t want to watch anymore instead of off of the seller, he was able to get front row tickets.

Announcer: Folks, it looks like two of our contestants can’t make it today on account of being murdered by their competition.

B‘: Holy hell you take this seriously.

A: No, I‘m just kidding of course, the two missing competitors are actually the Garsen brothers but it seems their father has passed. He was a legend in the Competitive Chomping Community. Rest in peace, Fuzz Garsen. A momemnt of silence please.

B‘, loudly: What does he mean by that?

J: Shhh

A: You two, what was that? Did you just disrespect the great Fuzz Garsen? Did you not hear me call for a moment of silence? How would you two like to compete against the others? Fill in for the Garsen brothers?

The crowd started chanting „Fill in! Fill in!“

J: Fuck‘s sake B‘ksa look what you‘ve gotten us into.

A big entity from Fhsbeb picked the two of them up and dropped them on the stage.

J: Is this even allowed? B’ksa is a Hö\an…

But nobody cared. Because B’ksa was small. He was not a threat. Jon was about to get embarrassed in front of this crowd. He was already full and B‘ksa was a meter tall. But Jon had a strategy. The way the competition worked was that you would stop eating once one person finished all 50 sausages, then you get scored based on how many sausages you had left.

A: 3, 2, 1, go!

John took a sausage and bit a part of it. He then proceeded to chew on that bite for a good 20 seconds before taking another bite snd chewing again. He chewed for 20 seconds and took another bite. At 1 minute and 3 seconds, the buzzer rang. Jon had only taken 3 bites and he was feeling proud of himself. He looked to his left and saw both the opponents on his left still had a sausage in their hand, one of them had another in his mouth. To his right he saw a contestant with 40 or so sausages still on his plate and he had passed out. So that’s why they stopped. But then…

A: How the hell did you win?

Somehow, B‘ksa had fucking won. He ate more sausages than anyone else.

A: That’s cheating, get off the stage!

J: Why, what did he do?

A: Your bastard disrespectful friend compressed all the sausages together and then swallowed it whole! Surely that doesn’t count?

Hö\ans were really strong. They also had the ability to stretch their mouth really far. Also celloth meat just happened to dissolve quickly in Hö\an saliva. So B‘ksa had compressed 50 sausages into an unholy stack of plant meat which he then dissolved in his huge mouth.

After being kicked out, Jon searched for the interplanetary record in Competitive Chomping 50 Celloth Sausage%, and found out that B‘ksa had shattered the record by 24 seconds!

B‘: So? Why would I care?

J: You‘re the first Hö\an to compete in this and the beat the interplanetary record!

B‘: I don’t see how this benefits me.

J: I literally cannot with you.

******

Alice: He WHAT? J: Yeah the fucker doesn‘t even care.

A: Damn that’s kind of badass though.

J: Bro what the fuck?

[brainrotarchive]

Do you like fun? Do you think about Aziraphale and Crowley more than the average person? Did you mildly enjoy History class in High School? Oh girl, I wrote a fanfic just for you!

So, I recently let my inner historian shine through and poured my heart and soul into a short good omens fic about the fall of the Berlin wall! It’s called „I can remember, standing by the wall“ (yk, like the Bowie lyrics!)

Let me set the scene:

It‘s November 9th 1989, Crowley convinces his angel to visit Berlin for a short trip after his senses tell him a major historical event is near. Chaos ensues and they find themselves again in the middle of a reunited Berlin. For a moment they get carried away and allow themselves to hope.

I‘m really proud of my work and I hope this post can reach other history freaks like me. This fic is overall canon compliant and totally romantic. It explores their relationship and belief system before they work together to stop the apocalypse and is spiked with some banter and hidden references. There‘s also a pretty intense end note that gives you all the historical context you might need. This moment in history always made me really emotional and I had so much fun using it as a setting for our favorite husbands. Believe me the Cold War and the ineffable husbands work amazingly together!

Please say hi on ao3!

[xxnghtclls]

Hearing that Permission will be ending soon makes me so sad 😔 I actually started reading it at a point in my life where I was severely depressed, and my therapist told me to push myself to do the things I used to enjoy, and Permission became the first thing I read and I instantly fell in love🩷

So that story means a lot to me now, and it's one of the most beautiful ones I've ever read, so I wish you all the very best for the upcoming chapters 💖 you're super talented and amazing, don't sweat about it!

🥺 I‘m really moved by your message, luv. I‘m so happy to hear that my story could give you love and strength in times that weren‘t easy for you! It‘s making me incredibly proud.

Also, thank you so much for the trust in me not to fuck it up 😆

I think it‘s a worry of mine, because of course I want to have written a story that‘s good from start to end and I don‘t want have people saying „Oh Permission, yeah its a great story but the ending sucks“ lmao

I personally think my ending is the most fitting one for the story, but I‘m just that much of a people pleaser that I want everyone to like it 💀 WE WILL SEE. Y‘all have to comfort me if it goes south 😆

[sonnetnumber23]

Good Omens Season 2 Rewatch.

Episode 2.

So, I’m going on with my rewatch. Most of this are my thoughts and feelings, and I don’t sure they’ll be very original or something. But I needed this anyway.

*

At first I tried to be brief (spoiler: I failed), so the first comment I have is about the scene with Shax and Crowley in the car.

Crowley can have so much willpower. I mean, he did have thousands of years to practice keeping a straight face – lying to Hell, hiding his true feelings from Aziraphale.

In this conversation with Shax where she asks if he understood her threat, I just feel so proud of him. Like, there’re a lot of jokes about how Crowley is not as cool as he thinks, but actually he is very cool. It’s just not about trivial things; it’s about something that matters.

[Also, compare that to the way he is in the last episode where he makes his speech to Aziraphale, and how he’s absolutely incapable of staying calm. Oh, Crowley, you’re so brave, my dear. T_T]

*

I am very slow, so I only now paid attention to the opening credits, and the way Crowley strikes the match there. It is a reference to Angel!Crowley who says “Let there be light”, isn’t it? But it is also a reference to the way Crowley carries his light through the darkness of Hell even, I think. Love it. That it’s Crowley, not Aziraphale, who does it.

(Really, this show pays so much attention to details, it’s hard to believe there can be things that don’t make sense or are OOC, so there must be a reason for them??)

*

25 Lazari – that basically means A&C can raise 50 people from the dead with one full miracle done together. Holy hell! That really is something to fear, isn’t it, Metatron? And if they throw a hint to Gabriel and Beelz that an angel and a demon in love can do that, the Earth might have a very good protection next time anyone tries to start an Apocalypse or something. Also that looks very much divine to me, so that’s obviously a God’s plan, and it’s ineffable, or rather quite effable: God bloody well wants angels and demons to fall in love with each other (love thy enemy for God’s sake pun intended), and they get rewarded for that!

*

I caaaan’t:

Aziraphale tells Crowley that they have to make Maggie and Nina fall in love, and Crowley isn’t immediately: “Ffs, Angel, don’t we have more important things to do?” or at least: “The hell you were thinking? I’m not getting into this farce!” He’s immediately engaged and providing his plan, as if he had had it ready all along. (Oh I‘m so not thinking of Crowley driving up to Aziraphale’s bookshop every time it started to drizzle over the past four years! Which was – considering it’s London – five days a week.)

*

“Surely the great thing about being a demon is that you can do whatever you want.”

So here Aziraphale has a pretty vague understanding on what it means to be a demon. He thinks that if they rebelled than they might be free to wreck whatever havoc they want. He doesn’t yet think that there are any consequences if they don’t.

There is sooo much in that dialogue in Job’s house, actually. Crowley notices that Aziraphale’s words sound like jealousy.

A: “Certainly not. I get to do what God wants.”

C: “Like killing innocent children to win a bet with Satan?”

A: “I don’t think that is what God wants.”

Then comes: “And I don’t think you want it either.”

Aziraphale believes. He believes in God – even when he doubts Heaven and Archangels. And he believes in Crowley. And these are two main pillars of his existence. Everything else is shaky and questionable. But these things are solid. And that’s why it’s so hard for him when it seems as if they contradict each other. Like during the Apocalypse. Aziraphale (seemingly) has to betray Crowley to do God’s will. But in the end it turned out that God wasn’t against their actions at all.

But here, in the early days, Aziraphale is already sure that Crowley deserves his belief.

A: “I knew the angel you were.”

C: “The angel you knew is not me.”

A: “Then you tell me you want to do this…”

It’s an interesting scene, because what happens is that Crowley lies to him. Very artfully, but he still lies, and it looks a bit unlikely that he thinks that Aziraphale won’t find out the truth. So basically, Crowley (half-willignly) admits to Aziraphale that he is not that far from the “angel he knew”.

It’s easy to understand Crowley: he’s desperately lonely, and he likes Aziaphale a lot already. So… He must hate himself so much for being weak and admitting that he was better than he claimed to be. But if it takes this to make a friend?..

Aziraphale must be triumphant in this moment. He was right. And the angel really is still in there, doing what good he may even being a demon.

**

“That sounds a bit… lonely.”

Again, as I wrote earlier, Crowley is so good at keeping composure. Aziraphale has spotted the core of his sufferings, his greatest desire, and he acts like nothing happened.

Also, when he asks: “What side are you on?” Aziraphale says: “God’s, of course!” Not “Heaven’s” – “God’s”. Mind what I said earlier.

*

The scene with rewarding Job is really weird.

Starting with Crowley coming to the rescue at the very last second. Don’t get me wrong, I love it. In fact I’m enjoying Crowley so much this season – it’s like here we got all his soft parts that we were supposed to get in season 1 but didn’t. But really, isn’t he too brave? Too reckless and too sure of himself to appear just like that in front of a group of angels?

Well, I guess we can confirm that when in season 1 Sandalphone smelt “something evil” in the bookshop those were indeed Geoffrey Archer’s books. We already have some other proof that angels can’t detect Crowley – in the 1st season in Heaven (though taken alone it could be due to him being in Aziraphale’s body), in this scene with the angels and Job, in the bookshop with Muriel, and later in Heaven.

So okay, he is counting on angels being daft and his own cleverness. He isn’t very well prepared though – he has no real plan though he had clearly intended to return Job his children.

So even though it’s so obvious, I’d like to point that out specifically: Crowley was counting on Aziraphale. If you think about it, it’s pretty scary how much he was counting on him. If Aziraphale hadn’t lied along with him, Job and Sitis would have either fallen, or the angels would have discovered Crowley who then would be a criminal for both Heaven and Hell.

Like, I’m sure, if Aziraphale hadn’t found out about the goats, Crowley would think of some other way to return the children to their parents (maybe that would have been after the Fall of Job though). But now Aziraphale has asked him for help. And Aziraphale was so happy that Crowley didn’t kill the kids. And for some reason he just can’t stand the angel being sad or disappointed in him. So he risks his existence for something he believes in (that Job and Sitis don’t deserve to Fall for loving their children) and also to get closer to Aziraphale – to show him that they are not that different.

What is also strange in this scene is that Michael clearly understands both what is happening and that Aziraphale is lying to Gabriel. She doesn’t say a thing after Gabriel believes him, but you can see the look on her face, and it’s clear that she thinks Aziraphale is going to Fall any minute now. Just like Aziraphale is sure about it himself.

That doesn’t happen.

Funny thing by the way – the mechanics of Falling and unFalling. On one hand we know that it is like demotion and promotion. On the other hand, Aziraphale kind of thinks that even though the archangels believed his lie, God will know the truth. But Crowley says: “I’m not gonna tell anyone, are you?” And so again, it’s like God wouldn’t know or They don’t really have a say in that matter.

Which is really weird. Like the original Fall certainly had to happen because God decided that, right? But then Metatron and the archangels just took all that matter in their bureaucratic hands or what? What is it with Michael not bringing it up then? She just didn’t want to point out Gabriel’s stupidity to him?

I think it’s all so vague because the angels and demons aren’t completely sure about it themselves. Both Crowley and Aziraphale are so amazed that God is actually talking to Job. They don’t know for sure if God can learn about Aziraphale’s sins. Probably not, or They just don’t care. After all Aziraphale has already lied to God once and got away with it. As he lives (and sins) some more he gets more proof that God isn’t looking.

But don’t They really? If you think of God’s presence all over Season one, you’ll have to admit that They do.

They just don’t have anything against it!

Aziraphale is trying so hard to fool Heaven all the time, but maybe he doesn’t think is fooling God. As I said earlier, for him God is the ultimate authority, and he believes that They are actually really on his side. Just like he is on God’s side. He just can’t get through to Them because there isn’t a suggestion box.

It’s all so interesting to think about, because for me this partly explains Aziraphale’s stupid unwavering belief in the supremacy of Heaven over Hell. He sees God as someone who can tell real right from real wrong (“I don’t think that is what God wants.”), it’s just the angels and the demons who constantly mess it up.

Now, I’m not saying he’s right. To be honest, I don’t think Good Omens God cares much about right and wrong. What They care about is playing. (And shades of grey) God put the players on their positions, gave them their set of characteristics and weapons and let them play. It’s fun and I don’t think it has any other purpose other than being fun. Which is great. All the purposes in the world are made up by people on the Earth. And sometimes by angels and demons who are not really that different from humans as they think.

 *

What I also want to think about here is the way Aziraphale refers to demons and the Fall.

Because it’s also relevant to the problem I’m trying to solve for myself – why does he think Crowley would be better off as an angel.

So Aziraphale thinks he’s a demon, a Fallen angel after he lied to thwart the will of God.

He thinks that was the right thing to do but he still believes he’s done the wrong thing. So it must be about him. He must have something corrupt deep down if he doubts his God.

And he is so scared. He is extremely scared because he wants to be good. He wants to do good. And it’s so painful for him that what he believes to be good is different from what God wants. (As it seems to him in this particular moment) Because if you can’t rely on God what can you rely on? It’s lonely, and hard, and so uncertain, and he just wants to do good and make people happy…

“I’m like you now. A demon.”

Even though he thinks he and Crowley did the right thing saving the kids, he still marks this as demonic. Because it was against the orders.

Crowley laughs at that. He knows it takes much more to become a demon, and it’s not even about bad deeds. It’s about someone wanting to cast you out. Just as it’s not enough to do good to become an angel. You need them to forgive you, and they won’t.

So Crowley is generous enough to give Aziraphale a choice: “Are you?”

If Aziraphale confessed before the angels or if Crowley told about him he would have probably been cast out. But thanks to Crowley Aziraphale can decide – to Fall or not to Fall. This is the choice that Crowley didn’t have. No one looked at him and measured his bad deeds and asked him if he wanted a second chance.

Surely Aziraphale must understand this and think of this in this moment.

Crowley told him that he was fine being alone on his own side. But here he confesses that he lied. It is lonely. Crowley is lonely.

And it is interesting that from that moment of openness already they understand each other differently. What Crowley means by his confession is: “I wouldn’t be lonely if you were with me.”

What Aziraphale thinks is: “He deserves not to be lonely. He is good enough not to be lonely, he deserves to be in Heaven, not less – if not more – than I do. If only he had the choice too…”

Why doesn’t Aziraphale hear Crowley when Crowley says again and again that he only needs him, he doesn’t want Heaven?

Isn’t it obvious? Aziraphale is utterly, completely and sincerely certain that he himself is not good enough.

Yup. Despite all his “I’m a great deal holier than thou” rhetoric, he actually thinks very little of himself.

There are so many moments scattered around both seasons where Aziraphale is reminded how unimportant and incompetent he is.

The angels all look down at him, he is not ever consulted on anything, he is fooled by the Nazis, even children can insult him as the magician at the party. And what’s worse, even Crowley sometimes contributes to that. Add to that his ever-present understanding that he is not always carrying out his duty as he is supposed to. I feel like throughout his whole life Aziraphale is constantly fighting for his self-esteem, both with people around him and with himself. That’s why sometimes he overcompensates, especially lashing out at Crowley, unfortunately, because he feels safer with Crowley, he feels almost competent, so sometimes he gets intoxicated by it and does something he really shouldn’t.

But the point is, I don’t think he ever thinks he can be enough for Crowley, that he can do what Heaven can do – to be his home. If he could read Crowley’s soul he would understand that he definitely can. But he can’t do that. And Crowley doesn’t even say enough or show enough before the last minutes of the show for Aziraphale to start understanding it.

(I’m not saying it’s Crowley’s fault, by no means it is! They are both very bad at communicating. Crowley might just be a little stronger and braver to come to terms with his feelings a little bit earlier.)

And when Crowley says it, Aziraphale is too far gone in this newly opened possibility – he can give Crowley the chance that Crowley gave him all those years ago, after Job! Surely this will be better? They can be together, and be in Heaven. They will have their place in the universe. They don’t have to be lonely.

And besides that, the Metatron’s offer doesn’t just give Aziraphale a direct opportunity to save Crowley from loneliness via returning him to grace. It also gives him the realization that he, Aziraphale, might after all be worthy. If he is good enough to lead Heaven, if he is trusted to do good on Earth, if he can help Crowley, then maybe he’ll be worthy of Crowley’s love after all.

I might get back to it when I’m watching the last episode, and I might disagree with myself from the past or find some other evidence to my thoughts. But that is what I’m feeling now.

[mommyownsmee]

I really like your blog but recently my mommy kink has gone away because I lost my real mom and even though it’s just a title that turns you on, I feel weird using it now. I still have a huge praise kink and love being a good girl

Oh sweety.. I‘m so, so sorry for your loss. It hurts me to know you‘re going through such a hard time and it changes you so much. And even though I like the name.. it doesn‘t mean you‘d have to call me that. It‘s fine if you just call me cutiepie or send me a 🧁 emoji. That‘s totally okay. There is no need to hurt yourself with saying it if you‘re not comfy with it. You’re a good girl, I’m sure about this fact. Don’t forget that. Maybe your kink will come back someday, maybe not- give yourself time and don‘t rush. You know, I‘m a CG too and this side of me really wants to hug you right now and just hold you. You‘re doing amazing, even if you maybe don‘t feel like it right now. You can be proud of yourself. Well - I AM PROUD of you. It takes a lot of courage to be honest with yourself and set those boundaries with others. You can always come back and talk to me. I hope you have a good morning (or day) honey (it‘s 6:30am at where I live right now). Don‘t forget your gorgeous smile. I know it may hurt, but you surely look so stunning with it. 🤍

[the-al-chemist]

i‘ve just finished your hexley saga and it was MAGNIFICENT. i started following the story when you published the first chapters of year 5 and Artemis has come to mean so much to me. i‘m so happy she has more stories to tell. picking my favorite part is hard, but it’s likely Artemis relationship with Bill and the parallel it is to Jacob. the last scene with Jacob almost made me cry, too. he loves her so much, he hurt her so terribly and after all this time he barely even knows her anymore, and i get the feeling he probably never will. (and Artemis is right she already has a brother😭) that aside i adore the hufflepuff girls, you have my favorite characterization of tonks ever and your charlie/artemis is to die for. the way you tied in the vaults with the og series is genius level writing and i loved all your twists in year seven (still so proud i guessed that kingsley was reggie after reading „Matchmaker“) i was too shy too review before, but i had to get this of my chest. thank you so much for Artemis, i can’t wait to see what she’ll get up to next

Oh, WOW. Where to start with this lovely message?!

Firstly, thank you so much! I’m really glad that you enjoyed reading The Hexley Saga (I might start using magnificent more in conversation, actually!) and have come to love my darling devil child. The fact that you liked the ending especially means so much - I was so worried that people may find it underwhelming or too bittersweet, so I love that it made the right impression on you at least! The other things that you’ve spoken about are some of my favourite things, too, and amazing guesswork by you on the Kingsley front.

As for being shy, I totally understand that, but I’m so happy that you plucked up the courage to send this. I’ve only just had the time to respond but trust me, it left a big smile on my face all day, and will probably have me smiling for all of tomorrow.

And don’t worry, Artemis is cooking up something as we speak, so the two of us will be back before you know it!

Lots of love to you 💛💛💛💛

[ja3yun]

I know random but uhm I have something like acting as a school subject. I choose that because I‘m shy and a Introvert and I really want to connect to people faster and not be embarrassed (my sister said it’s obvious when I find something embarrassing because of my voice change and my face expressions)

Now I never had a boyfriend in my whole life and every time when I see people that I find beautiful I‘m getting shy and a bit nervous/excited? (mostly with boys)

So today in acting (it was our third lesson) we had to stay in two lines and had so face each other and on the opposite of me there was this beautiful boy ( we went to the same Kindergarten. He‘s really popular in our school and city) So I was super nervous and embarrassed when I had to walk up to him and had to make eye contact with him (I had to that was the task)

And then I got super shy/ embarrassed and I started to laugh/smiling (probably blushing I‘m not sure. Boy was silent Judging me) And then we had to greet each other. It was like this:

He: Hello

Me: hello how are you?

He: I‘m fine

He: how are you?

Me: that’s nice to hear

AJ THAT WAS SO EMBARRASSING WHAT SHOULD I DO AND MANY OTHER EMBARRASSING THINGS HAPPENED 😭

oh babe 😭😭 i'm sorry there is nothing worse than embarrassing yourself in front of people you fancy 😮‍💨 but!! imo this isn't too bad, if that makes you feel better! could have been way worse if you think about it. did you both laugh it off??

i'm happy you're taking drama though, getting out of your shell more! i'm proud of you for that bb, i really hope it helps you 🙏🏻🩷