#and i was insanely distraught tbh

[spicebiter]

i got my watch band resized today and i'm losing my mind because the guy took off literally one link from the look of it and it somehow fits perfectly??? It was loose enough to rotate around my wrist with complete ease before and now i can hear it straining if i try to turn it past the width of my wrist. Am i stupid or did i pay this guy to do real fucking magic on my watch

[rainingincale]

.

[selttiks4313]

He is not performing surgery on himself in his bathtub rn. Please say sike please say sike. There’s no way this is happening I’m gonna be sick

[ronanlynchbf]

sisterhood of the...sisterhood of the hunting heart necklace 🥴😖🤐....

[lemongogo]

genuinely at a loss 4 words ok

[jewishdragon]

Oh also speaking of Laios not picking up on subtle cues

It was not clear in the anime (and not much more in the manga TBH) but when Kabru is triggered and has his flashback in response to Laios offering him harpy eggs to eat, we are seeing the emotional response in Kabru's head. Laios doesnt have our Audience POV and to him Kabru legit seems genuinely interested and engaging.

Kabru has insane interpersonal skills, that emotional reaction WE the audience saw was all internal. Even his numbness while eating it was the internal reaction, not his external one. "he'll do literally anything to get on someone's good side" tells us that Kabru was actively responding in a positive manner to Laios and the food, while we saw his neutral to negative internal reaction.

Laios isnt THAT dense. Kabru is just that GOOD at hiding his true emotions/reactions and conveying the ones he chooses to convey.

Kabru really should have been open about his trauma here, i feel bad for both Laios (who doesnt know how badly he triggered Kabru, and would be distraught to learn of it) and Kabru (who needs to take a little responsibility for his own mental health regarding his PTSD.)

[This post is not Kabru hate. This is a Kabru neutral post. This post is explaining why Laios didnt pick up on Kabru's extreme visceral reaction, because to Laios, and literally anyone but Kabru's own party who knows his history, there wasnt one.]

[until-another-one-comes]

I remember your headcanon that if Francis was forced to draft in the army, he and Steven would meet. What happens if Mr Mosses did end up enlisting his son in the military? I don’t think Francis would be the type who’s good at fighting. Perhaps he’d be stuck as a low ranking soldier or something. How would Francis and Steven meet and how will their relationship go? How does Francis feel about being in the army, especially when his life is put on the line. Would Francis’s relationship with his father change in this timeline?

I'M SO GLAD YOU REMEMBER THAT CUZ ITS HONESTLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE HEADCANON- what could've been...

Okay admittedly its a bit hard to guess this because I'm not 100% sure on the timeline and what not (tbh I kinda feel like Steven is YOUNGER by a few years than Francis so...??) or when they both enlisted or how the US military even works.

Okay lets do this one at a time- if Mr Mosses went through with his decision (his wife is distraught) I agree that Francis would have a hard time dealing with the situation. He is NOT a fighter, not the way Steven is, and training would absolutely be hell for him. HOWEVER, I do think he would still do his best to adapt and while he's absolutely not the best, he still survived training. He'd def be a low-ranking soldier though but at least he's still alive.

Now in come Steven who I think arrives a year or so after Francis. Again its kind of hard to guess this because they're in completely different group (Steven I'm sure voluntarily joined the army and obviously enlisted for the pilot training) and again I have NO idea how the military works but fuck it they still meet somehow. They meet up in a group one night and got to talking about their lives and home. Francis doesn't spill about his home life right away of course but Steven is a friendly and mostly open guy so he talks about his family and his ma and his pops who's insanely proud of him (Francis is kind of envious about this) and how he'd always dreamed about being a pilot and how great it is to be able to fly and see the open sky and everything he wants to do after he finally gets the position and Francis is. Enamoured. Steven is open and adventurous and brave and they continue to meet each other throughout training despite not having much time for that but they made it work. Francis eventually opens up to Steven about his homelife and Steven comforts him which made their friendship grew stronger.

After Steven finally graduates as a high-ranking pilot and sent for missions they still keep in touch through letters and photos. They both talk about wanting to meet each other's families and get to finally spend time with each other outside of missions and trainings after all of this is over.

Okay this is where I'm really just BUTCHERING logic and timeline I'm SO sorry- but eventually Francis got out of the army (after surviving the war) and went back home. Do you remember the Moral Orel talk earlier about Clay? I imagine Francis and Mr Mosses relationship is similar to how Orel feel about his dad after Nature. He no longer cares about pleasing his dad or making him proud. Mr Mosses's actions proved that he doesn't care at all about Francis and he was done with him despite Mr Mosses for once finally showing approval at his son for being a soldier (a position that HE forced on him). Francis stayed around in his town for his mother but then left and cut off contacts with his father. This time because theres no lingering shame or guilt Francis regularly visited his mother and was there when she died so og!timeline pain where he didn't get to be there during her final moments is erased.

(another thing thats erased is him meeting Nacha but uhhhh thats for another day MEKDKDK)

Okay so we're back to where things are supposed to be but with a completely new timeline. I can't see Francis continuing being a soldier so after his contract was up he just went and got odd jobs rather than go back to the military. I'm not entirely sure WHAT he does for a living (I'm sure soldiers get pensions or smth??? but idk) but its a little bit like the og timeline with the addition of military experience and ex-soldier in his list. While Steven is off on missions Francis also visits Mclooy who Steven talked about a LOT and who he always wanted to meet and he became the father figure that Mr Mosses never was.

(also sidenote but about Mclooy's wife- I kind of feel like she's dead before the game began and he's a widow?? Idk it just feels like it to me the only thing I'm unsure of is when she died but I also have this headcanon that Steven and his dad only started living in the apartment after she died)

Back to Steven. Again, we circled back to how canon went with him continuing being a pilot for the military. He still does live with his dad, the only difference is that he and Francis are much closer because they've known each other for years through hell. I like to imagine after the war is done they regularly visited each other and Francis spends a lot of night at the Rudboys's house before they moved into the apartment. They're best friends and have the strongest bond out of all the residents (besides married couples and families)

(also off topic BUT if you want to see a Francis who enlisted in the army check out @/phatkochi's Milkplane swap au where Francis is in the navy! just a suggestion cuz I can't draw or write any of my headcanons down, at least not something this detailed)

[pumpkinsy0]

dude im so distraught rn because my big presentation i did on leprosy like two years ago is GONE!! like it just got erased from this earth. ive never been more proud of a project and i wanted to save it before i graduate and its just not there anymore :( my “leprosy? more like leproSIN” joke (nobody else thought was funny) in regards to leprosy and the bible no longer exists. my collection of art from people living in leprosarias and a breakdown of the stigma is just gone. like im actually so devastated because it was such a fun topic to do research on and i spent days on it. it was like my mini passion project because i was really into the idea of pursuing mortuary practices at the time, and i was inspired to do it because of a mortician youtuber i loved had just covered Kalaupapa. its stupid but i feel like ive lost a piece of my heart because of how important it was to me.

ANYWAYS this would be pony if he ever lost a project he really loved (cough cough if he managed to lose his essay a few years down the road)

1) theres NO way to get it back???? id b going insane, i remember once i fucked up and forgot my password so i had to reset my ipad and lost all my photos n i was so upset but i got this computer and somehow my old photos got on there and i was so happy 😭

2) tbh that essay has been through hell and back, its been ripped here n there, but ponys always made sure hes had it, and he KNOWWWWSSSS that he has a copy of it, but he doesnt WANT a copy, he wants THAT one bc its been w him for so long, he even has a stupid name for it and he was NOTTTT getting a good nights sleep while it was lost

he was cleaning the place all the time just to find it, hell pony even has the pencil he used to write the essay, it means a lot to him

[twistedlovelines]

*(Bursts in during my lunch break)*

I need a list of who you think the biggest carpet munchers would be, pretty please; also I missed you & hope you're doing well—

—🐈‍⬛

WAUGHHH I MISSED YOU TOO 🐈‍⬛ANON <333 im doing well!!! being haunted by demons (blue lock) but. i missed writing sub! twst men dsfji. they are my comfort characters fr. i hope all has been well for u!!!

biggest carpet munchers... leona (obviously), rook, ruggie, floyd, trey, and deuce are the biggest culprits 2 me...

like genuinely leona adores eating pussy so much and will readily kneel for u to eat u out whenever u want . esp if its after u both play fight/train together...smthn about your sweat and scent drive him absolutely insane and he will get so upset if u ask him to eat you out after showering instead of straight after ur workout . will be so distraught if u shave/wax ur pussy. pubic hair is SACRED .

rook too...he adores your natural scent and can smell when ur aroused its so evil of him...also enjoys eating u out no matter the time of day because its You and Your Scent. he likes to check in on your health and will subtly feed u more nutritious foods if ur pussy tastes like u need more nutrients/if u need to be more hydrated. also generally enjoys seeing ur reactions and lovessss to make an absolute mess of u with only his mouth...another one who will mourn ur pubes if u choose to shave/wax. he will write a eulogy the likes of which u have never seen.

ruggie receives soo much pleasure whenever he eats u out tbh. your reactions spur him on and oftentimes he'll get off by grinding into the mattress/against his clothes while eating you out. frankly ur pussy tastes like a reward to him and he will seek it out every opportunity he gets cgfnhu. will never deny u if u just want to pull him aside to eat u out. if u ask him which tastes better- your pussy or chocolate covered donuts- he will be in genuine agony .

trey bc he genuinely feels awkward when all the attention is focused on him but Adores turning all of his efforts on you and making you cum on his tongue. does it bc he loves ur reactions and likes having you squirm underneath his touch...and having his head being squished between your thighs <3 would be the type to

floyd is Evil and loves trying out different techniques/positions to eat you out to see how quickly you can cum/how many times he can make you cum in a set amount of time. Will pull you away to eat you out whenever a new idea strikes him and is a Fiend. if he gets his mouth on u its game over . godspeed soldier . (that being said i do think he has smthn for like. waking u up with oral because its soooo fun 2 him).

and ofc . deuce . who else . my beloved . he adores your pleasure and will hardly ever deny you. of course he's a carpet muncher . (brain empty but aodhfoshdof...many fuzzy thoughts ab him)

[bibibbon]

something that constantly pisses me off about lov bashers is that they don’t understand that an explanation is not an excuse.

they can’t wrap their head around the fact that yes toga is a murderer but that doesn’t negate the fact that she was driven to that point by society.

if her parents supported her and helped her with the symptoms and urges caused by her quirk i doubt she would’ve become a villain.

she was literally driven to insanity not because she’s always been that way, but because suppressing her urges for so long caused her to snap.

twice became a villain because he had no other choice. he had no family, no job, and he was just a child. he had no where to go and no one to help him.

it really hits home for me because i have autism and several other mental problems, so some of my behaviors are because of those issues. but whenever i say that people say i’m making excuses when i’m not. i understand that some of my behaviors aren’t okay. that my mental illnesses aren’t my fault, but they are my responsibility.

yes toga should go to jail/juvenile detention because she’s killed several people, but we should acknowledge that the reason she became a murderer is because of how she was treated. BUT that doesn’t mean her being a murderer is okay or justified.

this also relates to how i believe spinner was right about how placating to their oppressors will do nothing.

the civil rights movement wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. they had to *fight* for their rights. key word being fight.

yes peaceful protest are certainly effective but they won’t work 100% of the time. sometimes you just have to get your hands dirty.

for example, sit-ins and peaceful marches were extremely important to the movement. but sometimes you just need to throw a brick at a cop.

stonewall isn’t infamous because it was peaceful. it’s infamous because it showed the world that the lgbtq community wasn’t going to sit idly by and let themselves be brutalized.

but the thing is 100% of spinners ideology won’t work, and 100% of shoji’s ideology won’t work either. there needs to be a balance between the two.

tl;dr some of the mha community is allergic to nuance and it makes me wanna scream.

Tbh I wouldn't label myself a league of villains basher but Iam definitely anti against the lov fans that claim the league are completely innocent and haven't done any crimes whatsoever.

I have said this before and I will say it again all of the leauge of villain members are victims. They are victims!!! But they have also done bad things. They are victims and they are bad people. Two things can coexist at once.

One thing that I find interesting about some league members that I wish was explored more often was the hypocrisy they had. For example take toga who has stated that she doesn't want to go to jail for her crimes and has murdered but also simultaneously gets distraught over twices death. I love toga but that can definitely be described as hypocritical and it's something that I love about her and I wish horikoshi delved into this with the league a whole lot more.

Also one of my problems that I mentioned in another post is that the leauge don't actually have a viable goal. As of current their goal was to simply destroy and create carnage so they can somehow get a better world for themselves. Realistically that plan is incredibly flawed and would obviously backfire horribly so I wish that horikoshi could of made it so that they developed out of that plan and used the MVA to target groups like the HPSC and other parts of the government to prove their point without harming innocent kids and civilians.

Agreed shoji and spinners ideologies are both flawed but if combined there can be a common ground reached. Thinking about this I can't help but also wonder what if shigaraki properly used the MVA and their resources? What if there wasn't an outright war? What if there was more bonding between the villains and their heroes?

@mikeellee used to suggest that shigaraki would try and get izuku on board with the MVA and I can't help but think that's a great idea and would help the narrative while adding more nuance and development to izuku and other characters.

[thebindingofpillo]

in the big ol google doc, when esau dies, jacob is completely distraught. how does he try to cope? like i feel like hair pulling as an unhealthy coping mechanism for jacob. in the game, tainted jacob has a bald spot. and jacob seems the kinda guy to pull on his hair until it comes out when under a lotta stress. also, how does laz try to help? laz is shown to be abit more of less sympathetic person.

Another thing, what is Esau after he comes back to haunt jacob? A spirit trying to remind Jacob of his sins, or was it jacobs negative emotions and thoughts that made esau manifest as he is?

Lastly, how does both Jacob and Lazarus deal with esau?

Someone has read that monster of a Google doc????? Waow………

Anyway I feel like Jacob would be super depressed. I like the idea of him pulling out his hair in distress, but also consider: stress so big it just falls out. Lazarus brushes his hair and it just falls out in clumps… Speaking of which, yes, Lazarus is a bit of an ass, he’s not a bad person and Jacob is still his best friend (and future partner). It’s kinda sad but I envisioned Esau’s death as a huge growth opportunity for both of them, Jacob will learn to live as his own person without Esau and Lazarus will grow to be more responsible and less of a prick. He’ll finally realise how much Jacob means to him and will have to confront the fact that he’s not always been the best of friends to him (and Samson too, especially Samson, but that’s for another time) so he’ll try to make up for it.

I guess Lazarus would try and take over for Jacob. Like, taking care of him, making him food, making sure he eats and stuff… Jacob is also disabled, and Esau had been helping him in day-to-day life for the longest time, so Jacob is not only missing a brother but also a caretaker. Lazarus would immediately go to his house and take it from there, keeping tidy, making food etc. etc. he wouldn’t be alone of course, Bethany, Samson and even Eve will gladly stop by to help and make Jacob feel less alone… but also the fact that Jacob blames himself for his brother’s death will not make things easier for them. I feel like all my characters need therapy ngl. Maybe Samson can help him find a therapist…

As for Dark Esau… it’s Esau. He’s back. Basically the main idea was that Esau, in his first life, made some sort of deal with the devil to get revenge on his brother for everything he did to him (the birthright, the blessing etc.) but Jacob always managed to die before him, or before Esau gained his memories back, so he could never truly get revenge until now. This idea is still a bit fuzzy tho, don’t treat it like gospel. I also liked the idea that Esau’s rage is what constantly brought him back to life over and over, he just couldn’t let go. And not only because of Jacob! Esau’s grudge is also directed towards Isaac!!! Yes, Jacob stole his birthright but Isaac also refused to give him his blessing (and for a very stupid reason too!). And probably towards Rebekah too, since she was the one who originally pitted them against eachother… what I’m trying to say is that Esau has a huge grudge against his whole family, and nobody is safe.

When Esau started manifesting it was for Jacob only, and the man really thought he was going insane since nobody but him seemed to be able to see him. Lazarus was skeptical at first, but he’s dealt with enough supernatural bullshit (like being on a first name basis with the literal angel of death, knowing that demons exist etc. etc.) so while he thinks Jacob is only having a mental breakdown, but he’s still open to the possibility of him being actually haunted by his brother.

As for resolving the situation… eeeeeeh that’s still a bit fuzzy tbh. Like my main idea was that this situation would progressively escalate until Lazarus and Jacob had to find help with Judas and the others (because Apollyon is real powerful, Azazel is a demon and he might help, even Eden could chip in and lend a hand) but THEN Bethany would explode because of Dogma, and even Esau can’t bear to see someone he loved so much in so much pain, and I had this idea he would try and fight Dogma to save her and in doing so his should would be cleansed and ascend to heaven? It’s still a bit fuzzy, but I also think Isaac and Rebekah apologising could help… like it wouldn’t really do anything for Esau, but maybe it could help him let go of his anger and move on. Hell you know what? I’ll throw in Cain too, if someone knows what it’s like to kill your own brother and why it’s a bad thing it’s him! And his whole arc is about the importance of letting go and not let the past consume you etc. etc. it’s too perfect, he can help the flaming ghost. I also know how to shove it in the action: Dark Esau has completely reverted to his old memories and personality, which means he can only speak ancient Hebrew, like in Bible times. And Cain is the only one who can understand him! And then thanks to Cain he could unlock his most recent memories and realise he’s being stupid.

[manwiththemagic]

spn s1 ep3 "Dead in the water"

more rewatch notes/commentary I have while watching!! :9

Ew Wisconsin okay...

“guys don't like buff girls.” WHO ASKED?? dumbahh person of the week. I don't even REMEMBER this episode and honestly, I blame you pal. I. Blame. You.

“be careful.” Okay so she's going to die then.

I wish I lived on a lake :(((

HELP THE SLOWMO... uhhh rip girl?? Ig..

Why does Dean look actually insane. He has like 100 newspapers, and his scribbling out faces and circling others 😭😭 i'd call the cops tbh..

Episode three, and second chick we see hitting on dean. It's just bc of his long eyelashes I bet.

LMAO “can I... get you anything else? 😏” “just the check please ☺️” LOVE YOU SAM.

The way dean immediately gives up trying to convince Sam about hookups bc lil bro is still distraught about jess. Like yeah... no way is a hookup gonna seem "fun" to a grieving man

The side eye Sam gives dean when he's telling him about how the people had a funeral for a missing person.

“a funeral?” “yeah for closure or whatever” “closure? What closure. People don't just disappear Dean, others just stop looking for them.” WOAH NELLY... I get it. Bro wants to find dad, dad to find monster, monster to be KKKKKKKKKILLED‼️

vaild.

Okay so Sam is tweaking because he wants to find John, and Dean is— NO WAY HE JUST SAID THAT. “im sick of the attitude.” DAD DEAN CHAT!! also no way he pulled the "I've been with him everyday for the past two years while you were off at school—" BRO.

Great more depressed. old. MEN.

does the loch ness monster exist?

Oh shoot broke dam!! More like... Dam I'm BROKE!!

Dean being good with kids part 1!! Also this is why I have a hard time believing he's so bad with Jack like... LOOK ST THIS.

Dean and his 3 woman in three episodes.

“must be hard with your sense of direction.. trying to find your way to a decent pickup line.” HEYOOOOO!! she ate that.

“‘i love kids’?? You don't even like kids.” “yes I do!” “name 3 kids that you even know.” LMAO NOT SAM GATEKEEPING KIDS LIKE ITS AN INDIE BAND!!! also yes he likes kids, he literally raised you Sam wtfdym?

Wait so late monsters do exist?? THE LOCH NESS IS CANON?? just not here..? Damn I thought since bigfoot was fake that would be too.

I'm pretty sure it's some ghost chick.

Yikes more dead...

“no wonder that kid was so freaked out, watching one of your parents die isn't something you just get over..” DEAN :((( I always forget he watched Mary die, cause like Sam too, he just doesn't remember it.

Dean is so good with kids :(((

STOP THEY'RE SO CUTE.

“when I was your age I saw something... anyways..” FUCK.

DWAHHH LUCAS TAKING THE PICTURE DEAN DREW ☹️

AWH HE GAVE DEAN A PICTURE!! they made a connection.

Oh shoot.. that man is so dead. “im gonna make some dinner”

OH SHIT ITS IN THE PIPES

your dead kid. D E A D. IDC tho you ain't Lucas

Ew don't dig in the dirty water. HOLY SHIT HE DROWBING. HE DROWBNIN

Damn.. and in dirty water. I could never.

Bill Carlton is cooked. Literally everyone he knows is dead now.. like damn. Wtf did he DO.

“my children are gone..its worse than dying..” MORE SAD OLD MEN OMFG.

Lucas drawing is important!!

Why don't these people ever be like “yea.. serial killer man..” LIKE A BELIEVABLE BUT STILL CRAZY LIE. "Why the FBI here?" "Serial killer." ITS THAT EASY.

Dean getting help from a kid AHHHHHHHH!!

“your... scared..? I understand.. you see when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared too.. I didn't feel like talking, just like you. But see my mom.. I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that every day.” FUCK. JUST TEAR AT MY HEART STRINGS THEN DEAN. “and I do my best to be brave.. and maybe your dad wants you to be brave too.”

LUCAS YOU THE GOAT!!!

so now they are looking for the house Lucas drew and Dean like "man where tf is it?" And Sam's like "uh.. maybe let's look for the church?"

“ohhh collage boy thinks he's so smart!!” Dean the goat of this episode

Sam twitching because he doesn't know if or how he should bring up deans speech. Honestly now that I think about it Sam digs into deans personal stuff alot, mostly because Dean is jaded and hides stuff but IDK it's interesting.

“oh God we're not gonna have to hug or anything are we?” like you wouldn't enjoy that..

The churchhhhh

OMG THE BIKE. IT WAS BIG IN A DIFF DRAWING AND HERE IT IS AGAIN. omg wait it is important.

He's missing.. the kid with the bike.

HOLY COW. all the parents talking about how losing a kid is worse than death, and hey I know what canonically happens in death and uhh, idk if your right about that. Hell? eck.. ghost life?? yikes.. heaven? good but.. mehh...

Rip lil kid. Rip

HE KNEW BILLY. holy cow. Dead kid knew billy. Billy Carlton knows something is going on?? WAIT WHATS HAPOENING.

So wait is the dead kid the ghost..?

HOLY COW THAT BOAT FLEWWWW!!

Lucas having another vision??.. OH SHIT YEA THE GHOST GIES AFTER HIS MOM OR SMTH RIGHT??

THIRD TIME GETTING CAUGHT LMAOOO. “and your not really wildlife service..” HELP.

this cop made sus. Why you so mad these guys are investigating a murder?? They weird but like..

LUCAS KNOWSSSS..

This is kinda like a call forward or uhh foreshadowing to Sam's visions, which is kinda dope

LADY DON'T TAKE THAT BATH. NOT JUST CAUSE I DONT WANNA SEE YOU NAKED..

deans going back to town even after being threaten because lil kid was scared. GOAT. the goat I tell you.

“who are you and what have you done with my brother??” it's really not out of character for him Sam😭

DON'T TAKE THAT BATH LADY. YOUR DEAD. DOOMED.

oh whatever. I give up. EW MURKY WATER. CAN'T YOU FEEL IT LADY.

poor lucas.. lil bro bouta become an orphan.

LMAO DEAN THREW LUCAS OUTTA THE WAY. and Sam actually saved her 🤷

So wtf is after them. I DON'T REMEMBER.

Oh shoot puppy dog eyes Sam is back. “tell me what happened. Everything. 🥺”

More Lucas visions..

THEY FOUND THE BODY. or no? THE BIKE.

THE SHERIFF DID WHAT NOW.

No dead ghost Peter LEAVE LUCAS ALONEE!!

oh shit he did kill someone.

OH SHIT.

YOU WERE A BULLY?? EE. I HATE YOU. YOU KULLED HOM?? WTF.

dude no your daughter should stay away from you you freak.

LUCAS IS DROWNING.

Mermaid Dean 🧜

Sacrifice yourself for Lucas? Valid sheriff. Valid.

WOOO ITS OVERRRR!! MYSTERY SSSSOLVED!!

AW LUCAS IS TALKING AGAINNN!!

Dean teaching random kid his morals and tastes in music LMAO.

dean pulls yet NAOTHER woman. Are you fr?

One of my least favorite episodes tbh..

[bolontiku]

Work things *siiiiiigh*

Long work shenanigans under cut

Gavin (work child #1) arrives, 5 minutes later... "Hey baker! Tell me if I am wrong, but I would rather suck man dick -"

Me "you are super pretty and I'm fairly certain you could make a lot of money sucking dick... be it man or otherwise."

"BAKeeeEEerrRrr!!"

"Right... right, just saying but go on..."

He sighs, "so... man dick or hairy pussy?"

Me blinking at him, "I'm old school, not like you youngins, I am from the old world where we wooed our women by singing soulful songs whilst splashing in the rain, hairy pussy is for no fool and I would still eat it."

He considers me a second "dick or... gross pussy?"

"Hobo gross? Yeah no, definitely dick, but grow up and learn that hairy pussy is still good you won't be pretty for the rest of your life" (tbh he's really pretty and likely to only grow prettier unless somebody throws acid or something insane like that)

Sebastian (work child #2) chatting with another coworker "yeah so we-"

Aggie, "Wait, this the same girl?"

Sebastian "naah, I broke up with the other one last month, this is the new gf, yeah, no BRO imma dawg!"

Me sighing heavily as I scrub my focaccia rings, she laughs "baker do you hear this?!

I shake my head as he visibly panics, "my work children out here being such HOES! My poor Victorian heart cannot take it, I feel faint, fetch me my fainting seat! I am disappointed and distraught!"

"Wait... Baker! I- we... were were only dating! It wasn't a real relationship- AND I broke up with her, like really! I didnt ghost her or anything! I did it to her face!"

Aggie laughing as he hurries over to me by the sink. I contain my chuckle, "so, you were a man about it?"

"Yes! TOTALLY! Like you said, I didn't just disappear! I promise!"

Me smil8ng "that's what DATING is, a time period to figure out whether you like the person to the point that you decide that you want to commit, and that's when it turns into a relationship. But that includes the commitment thing- which is gross, be a hoe."

He laughs.

Back to Gavin, he comes up as I'm speaking to a manager, "Baker, how do you tell your gf her mom is like... super hot?"

Me- 😮 manager 🤣🤣🤣

"Well the thing is- we did our workout and she tells me that her mom made us food and I like food-"

Me nodding "understandable"

"Then I walk into her home and her mom is cooking at the stove in like this nightgow thing! And my floor hit the fucking ground cause she is so hot! Like... RIDICULOUSLY HOT, not that my gf ISNT pretty, but her mom is so-"

Manager "waaaaiiiiiit! How old is her mom?!"

Gavin "not sure but she falls in my age range, which is like, 20yo to-" eyeballs the manager "...50...ish"

She laughs and I fistpump the air "I STILL FALL IN YOUR AGE RANGE IN MOT TOO OLD!!!" manager laughs as he smiles at me and nods "but your still too young for me and I'm so old my bones creak, but your valid for wanting the older chick bud, older women pull shit out of the hat that you never knew could be done and they just smirk at you after it's all done"

He nods enthusiastically, "spitting straight facts and I am legal now, 18 is legal"

Manager laughing"oh my gawd! You two are too much!"

Me dying as he stares at me and shoves him over "your legal enough to get in trouble for crimes and arson! Not old enough to drink asshat!" He cackles

Both boys "baker you're so cool"

Me 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ I'm too old for this shit. They gonna kill me hahaha

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

i wonder what would happen if lo'ak got captured instead of spider? neteyam would probably be distraught and jake, oml.

This raises so many questions and changes the plot dramatically.

First off, Jake and Neytiri aren't leaving Lo'ak behind. So the whole Metkayina shit is gone. And they're going to mount an attack to retrieve him. Quartich hates the Na'vi so he's not gonna try to manipulate Lo'ak like he does Spider, so Lo'ak is not leaving the Bridgehead. I see it going one of a few ways.

Either they try to trade Lo'ak for Jake, which he'll def go for and then there could either be a big battle to try to avoid that or he could just go. Or there's a massive Bridgehead assault that results in an insane amount of casualties on both sides, but I would think heavily Omaticaya. I don't even know if it would be successful in getting Lo'ak back honestly.

Or, I could see a stealth mission to get Lo'ak back. Tbh I think this idea is fun, because the humans could GET IN on this. Spider is the only unknown human right, so I imagine they have records and photos of the other defectors so they couldn't sneak in. But Spider is real tall and he can pass as an adult in proper clothes when no one is looking that close. If they can get him in the vents, he could just blend in. Neteyam can be his back up, as he barely fits in the vents as well. I bet Spider and Neteyam cook up this lil scheme to bring to Jake and Neytiri, let us mount the stealth attack but also sneak Spider in. I'm living with this idea a little! I think Spider and Neteyam are ruthless in their need to get Lo'ak back and they are kindred spirits in that. Neytiri is like "How can we trust Spider won't defect?" and Neteyam looses patience and he's like "Mom, Jesus Christ be for real we are all being serious right now. Get on board so we can get Lo'ak or get out."

Jake is torn about putting his kids in this dangerous situation but he needs Lo'ak back and this is the best plan. He's too big for the vents but Neteyam and Spider (Spider easily of course) fit so we have this horrible decision of wether or not to let them help. Love it. I also would love if it manages to open Neytiri's eyes to Spider more, how much he's willing to risk for her son.

[cupcakedoesthings]

So. I have finished SVSSS VOL 2. And. WHAT?

Spoilers under the cut 😭

I am actually going insane

I kind of wanted to make a post saying "LMAO sqq kind of reminds me of Helen of Troy" AND THEN?? HE FULLY JUST SAYS THAT HIMSELF?? That was a jumpscare honestly

AND?? So he fully just faked his death. Which I kind of assumed, BUT? HUH.

I'm actively distraught over that cliffhanger ngl

THOUGH that last illustration is really funny tbh 😭 It's honestly giving "This isn't you!" but in a silly way (specifically this one audio I've heard on tiktok, shoutout to you if yk what I'm talking about)

I have. Many thoughts. But I shan't say them rn as I don't have time

[starwritesyanderes]

Can i request yandere phoenix wright x reader headcannons? :D

WAHHHH MY FIRST ASK HI ANON!! ofc ofc, love this man tbh...

pairing: yandere! phoenix wright x gn reader

cw/tw: yandere topics, obsessive behavior, babying, stalking, manipulation, no pronouns for reader (only use of you/your)

all i can think of </3 (also might be incredibly ooc... he just strikes me as a pathetic bbg...)

☆ PHOENIX WRIGHT

✧ as a yandere, i full heartedly believe this man is delusional, like most of the time he is daydreaming on the day you finally listen to his insane ramblings and decide that you don’t need anyone else but him!! he’s a lawyer!! he can somehow provide for you darling!!!

✧ i also don’t feel like he’s the kind of guy to kidnap his love interest, he’ll just try his best to make them stay with him.

✧ now i feel like the two ways to stick out to this man, well at least exceptionally anyways, is to be a lawyer, specifically one that has gone against him in court, or, to be a client of his. 

✧ going down the lawyer route, you were nothing but a simple lawyer, defending a clearly not-so innocent man, something about a robbery? you knew he wasn’t innocent, though the paycheck you got was ginormous!

✧ but the passion you had for the job was, in his eyes, adorable. it wasn’t hard to find your whole personality adorable. even if you saw him as a competitor, someone in the way of your paycheck.

✧ it drew him in, you were like a lovely drug, one he couldn’t seem to get off of. 

✧ now at first it started off as a puppy crush, with him thinking he wouldn’t be able to see you again. but… you started showing up a lot more than he bargained.

✧ though you were always there, it felt like he couldn’t get to you. like he wasn’t worthy enough to even talk to you.

✧ after a while, you started talking to him, your first mistake. because now he is going to start to become even more clingy, even to the point of stalking you.

✧ at first it was an innocent trailing behind you when he wasn’t hanging out with you. and when you would start getting suspicious he would have to stop for a bit then meet up with you.

✧ but then he started getting farther and farther from the innocent trailing. what was innocent now turned into following you home in the night, using the darkness to hide him.

✧ he was also getting very clingy towards you now, if you had a meeting with a client, he would whine and cling onto you and beg to come along.

✧ he was also threatening those around you when you weren’t looking. and if it was another prosecutor or a familiar defense attorney, he would sing your praises to them if they were clear that they did not like you romantically.

✧ if they did like you romantically? maybe they would be able to escape.

✧ though whenever he was away from you, he couldn’t ever keep his mind off of you. you, his beloved darling, an angel sent from heaven, only for him though!!!

✧ though this does get in the way of his job, and if he were to go against you in court again? he’d be staring at you dreamily, you’d catch on, but he would still do it.

✧ now, he’s starting to creep you out, the sweet Phoenix Wright, looked to be infatuated with you. he was literally staring at you with hearts in his eyes??

✧ though this would be cute, it starts getting creepy when he won’t stop staring at you.

✧ though you’ve also noticed him everywhere, he was always where you were, even if you didn’t message him, or even if you were out of town.

✧ you’ve decided to start distancing yourself from him, feeling as though you just need a little break. when you told him this, he looked distraught, you almost felt bad. he, although disgruntled, agreed.

✧ but that’s when your stalker problem started. you would go to sleep at night then wake up with either things missing or out of place, or the house would be cleaner and a snack would be on the counter. you never touched those.

✧ then came the gifts, either pictures of you or flowers. the pictures would be in low quality, leaving you wondering who even was the muse of the photograph?

✧ and the flowers, most of the time it was baby’s breath, though rarely you would get gifted some tuberoses, rarely.

✧ then the gifts starting getting more concerning. the photos started getting closer, started getting clearer, you could finally see who the muse was.

✧ when you finally called him he was overjoyed! had you finally given in? have his gifts finally drawn you back to him?!

✧ when he picked up you were sobbing, words hardly sounding coherent, when he finally calmed you down, you sputtered out that someone was stalking you and how oh so scared you were.

✧ his heart broke, his poor darling was scared because of his gifts?! now that he has fuel for the everlasting fire that is his love, you’ve now sealed your fate, because he’s not leaving!!

✧ now that he knows how vulnerable you can be, he won’t let anyone see you like this, you trust him!!!! he’s yours now!!! just as much as you are his!!!! 

✧ anything you do to try and leave him he’ll bring up how your stalker might act up if you’re alone, effectively scaring you into staying with him.

✧ he’ll treat you well darling, don’t worry :)

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

✧ but if we’re going down client route, let’s just say, when he first met you, it was love at first sight!

✧ he knew you were innocent, i mean, with a face as cute as yours? (it’s very true tho, y’all are cute <3333 /p) so he became your little white knight from day one!!!

✧ as your case went on, he learnt more about you. what your favorite color is, your favorite candy, hell, even what your relationship with your family is!

✧ you didn’t really question him, seeing how easy you found to talk to him.

✧ in the end, your case was over, but that doesn’t mean your relationship with the attorney is over

✧ he stuck with you even after the case and safe to say, your budding romance grew! now that you weren’t his client, he was finally able to ask you on a date

✧ while it wasn’t the best date, you found it sweet, how caring he was for you! it just goes to show he’s the best one for you darling!!!

✧ as your relationship continues, he starts babying you more.

✧ first by letting him pay for dates, little things at first!! but as soon as he was allowed in your house?

✧ dates were always at your place!!! but you couldn’t cook for them, he would either cook for you, or he would bring take-out with him!!

✧ because his darling didn’t deserve to have to cook, or do anything really!! he can provide for you! he can care for you!! just please don’t use a knife.

✧ once he sees you using a knife to cut vegetables while he was cooking.

✧ he clutches his chest and yells ‘good lord!’ before taking the knife away from you, kissing you sweetly and telling you to sit down on the couch and to let him prepare dinner.

✧ he stays over after most of your dates, even if he has to leave in the morning and even if your place is far from where he works. 

✧ in the morning you have to persuade him to let you go and to go to work before he’s late. he refuses and all you have to do is give him some little kisses before he’s wide eyed and bushy tailed and out the door

✧ he likes the domestic setting with you at home, wouldn’t be surprised if he laced the house with cameras just so he can see what you’re doing when you’re not busy.

✧ though god forbid you tell him about someone flirting/harassing you. you’ve never seen him look more angry, some… evil scum is flirting with his angel?!

✧ don’t be surprised when you hear that the perpetrator was later in court and then sentenced for a crime he committed, and it was your darling boyfriend who put him away.

✧ now he won’t allow you to leave the house alone, because what if that criminal did something else to you?!

✧ he won’t allow anyone to hurt his angel, if you want to go out you have to bring your darling boyfriend with you, no more going out alone, and no more talking to your friends either.

✧ they can hurt you too darling!! you have to trust him he only wants the best for you!!!!

✧ though the best for you is him…. he won’t allow you to leave him:)