#and i want to expand my teaching experience
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i. want to work abroad.
#i have no vendetta with my current workplace btw#im okay with it and im happy working there#its just. i feel like im at that age where i want to explore#and i want to expand my teaching experience#outside my country u know#im not married and honestly i have no intention to#my real desire is to work abroad#thatll be my prayer during umrah. insya Allah#fafar yaps
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This is just a map of New England (minus Connecticut the fake New England state)
#text post#new england#source: boston 25 news website: believe it or not massachusetts is not the most irish state new study finds#18.9% of mass residents have irish ancestry#really this is not surprising at all. massachusetts is the most population-dense state by far with the most immigrants#and new hampshire? ask anyone where their family lived before they came to new hampshire. it was massachusetts#new hampshire is full of ethnically irish and italian and polish catholics whose families have been here long enough#to assimilate and move to the suburbs and become xenophobic and anti-immigrant.#literally bothers me so much when ppl named molly o'flannigan and patrick sullivan talk shit about dorchester lawrence etc#and other immigrant-dense areas in new england. i'm like baby your grandparents lived there#well or at least that's my experience#new england still does have a shocking amount of wasps whose families have been here since the fuckin mayflower#i dont have a direct link to that in my own family but it's very strange how that is taught to new england children as like#'our' heritage in schools. plymouth plantation and the puritans and all that. you're weirdly made to identify w it#and like as time goes on#just factually that only represents the population of ppl who live and are raised here less and less.#not to mention it does nothing to address DIVERSITY in the area. but i suppose there's like a local mythos#we have to teach a story to children and it has to be a 'we' story and that story has to be pilgrims#bc the story has to start at colonization and not expand after that. thats too complex. happy thanksgiving?#new england white people have a habit of thinking theyre irish catholic anglo-protestant settlers and they built this country#they dont parse out their own identity at all and they certainly don't want to have to consider other ppl's.#wow i didnt mean this to turn into a culture-critical rant im sure most of my followers arent even from here so idk what this means 2 u guy#happy saint patrick's day!
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I have another job interview tomorrow, this time for a part time English faculty position -_- wish it was full time… actually yknow what I really wish? I wish the university where I applied for the visiting English instructor position would call me back. Let me teach Mythology and Composition and World Lit, goddamnit!
Unfortunately/fortunately (I have VERY mixed feelings about it), I apparently did really fucking well in my interview Friday for a teaching position for secondary education (7th-12th grade). I don’t want to teach kids…but fuck me the pay and benefits would be phenomenal…but holy shit they’re KIDS and I wouldn’t be able to PICK what I TAUGHT god
Despite how mixed I feel about the secondary education position, the interview turned out to be a nice confidence booster for me. The nice women who interviewed me (also English teachers) said I answered all the questions with great responses relating to my past teaching experience. The head interviewer, also the assistant principal, even said she was worried I’d be bored teaching secondary education level bc I was overqualified -_- I both liked and hated that… liked it bc that was super nice of her to say, hated it bc I know she’s right and I will probably be bored. :/
If I can’t manage to whip out a full time faculty position at a university before August I’m gonna end up probably teaching either 7th and 8th graders or 11th and 12th grade…
#it would be nice to expand my teaching experience but also. I Do Not Want to Do It.#my fucking thesis was over women/women’s bodies in horror and they expect me to make my teaching style PG? fuck me#raise a glass to my sanity bc I haven’t seen it in a couple weeks since this whole thing started rolling#self#vent
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why you should stop consuming media if you want to shift.
where your attention goes, is where energy will follow. the more you focus on something, the more real it becomes.
⭑.ᐟ i made a post a while ago saying “why you should get off social media if you want to shift”. id like to expand upon that a little more. so, here’s a “why you should stop consuming media” or at the very least “why you should consume media carefully”.
you are being programmed through everything — social media, music lyrics, television, advertising, the news. this is why meta wants tiktok b@nn3d so badly. its taking away their ability to control & their influence upon you because average people spend more time on tiktok then anything else. this can be extended to news networks because more and more people are using it as news sources. media, not just social, need your attention in order to program you. as someone who has taken classes marketing, the core of what my class was, was teaching someone to be the best manipulator. my professor said to always “play on people’s emotions”. anything that has the ability to take your attention away & live in a negative & distracted stake, is taking away your ability to create the life you want to live. a lot of — if not everything — is about power & controlling you for someones benefit.
taking this into account, you can now begin to understand why television shows are called television programs. it is programming you to think & behave & make purchases. for example, the human mind does not know the difference between real & fake. if something provokes an emotion out of you — that emotion it is still real, even it was brought on by fiction. the human brain cannot truly comprehend fiction. this is why people form such emotional attachments to fictional characters because our brains cannot distinguish that they are a character or a scenario is not real.
power comes from your attention & what you focus on; what emotion it provokes.
₊˚⊹♡ why is this relevant ?
your thoughts & feelings create your reality.
by waking up every morning after a shifting attempt & saying “i didn’t shift, im not in my desired reality” is what you’re affirming to yourself. when you roll over & scroll on your phone, you are taking your attention away from persisting that you are in the wish fulfilled. you aren’t focusing on that you have already shifted. every shifting tiktok video is affirming that you aren’t in your desired reality. it’s reinforcing that idea of “you’ll shift tonight” “who would do this in your desired reality” “___ in my desired reality” — that you are still here. it’s hardly ever said “you’ve already shifted” on tiktok. again, this circles back to “playing on people’s emotions” — desperation & excitement. keeping people in a loop of shifting content instead of actually wanting to experience it for yourself. i will admit, practically everyone is guilty of this — self included. it definitely doesn’t come from a place of malice & i doubt it’s always intentional on anyone’s part but it’s something to consider that every shifting video you come across is a reminder that you haven’t shifted yet.
limit what you consume. for example, if you keep listening to a sad song, you’re going to be sad & pulled back into a time in your life that no longer serves you. it removes you from the present. the brain has no concept of time as it is a man-made idea. by eliminating media entirely (or limiting / being mindful of what is being fed to you & taking nothing at face value), you are getting that power back.
media keeps you distracted. it keeps you focused on other things & not your manifestations. it constantly brings back you into the 3d. the longer you’re focused on the 3d, the further away you will be removed from your manifestations & you will be pulled into things that fuel others desires.
#desired reality#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting#shiftok#shifting motivation#shifting realities#shifter#reality shifter
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guitar teacher!ellie x smartass!reader thank you for all the meet-cute requests @thatdammchickennugget -- they are my absolute favorite and this one is a classic. i plopped a lot of my real life into this lmao. i kinda wanna do a spicy part 2 here. idk. we'll see!
you wait with bated breath inside the cramped, soundproof lesson room at your local music store, where you signed up on a whim to learn the guitar. it’s an impulse decision, really—all but doomed to be just another tick off the ever-expanding list of random cool skills you’ve tried. at the very least, you hope maybe you can whip this one out to “impress the ladies.” maybe even serenade them with some songs and actually sound good doing it—lord knows many have endured the clunky chords of a red hot chili peppers song from some mediocre man already.
you clutch your new guitar semi-awkwardly, plucking the strings and lightly tapping the cool basswood. you can tell that the tune is off, but damn if you know how to fix it. you wonder if you’ll abandon it after the first 40 minutes, just like most other hobbies you’ve sampled.
in your hasty decision-making, you hadn’t even requested a specific teacher. you’d only ever seen middle-aged men employed here, which is fine. you trust their experience, picturing some warm-hearted old rocker coming in and showing off his tried-and-true tricks. what you don’t expect, then, is when the door opens and a girl your age enters the room, extending her hand to shake yours.
“hi, my name is ellie. you’re the one here to learn guitar, right?”
you shake her hand, eyes glancing over her form, trying not to seem like a dumbfounded creep. jeez, she’s cute. she has reddish-brown hair in a choppy bob, freckled cheeks, green eyes, and a dorky smile. she’s adorned in a faded blue jacket rolled up to her elbows, revealing arm tattoos, and a ragged t-shirt with a band you’ve never heard of. and this is the cutie who will watch you fiddle with out-of-tune strings and act like a complete dumbass? you half hope the ground will swallow you whole.
“yeah,” you manage to reply once you remember how to speak. “that’s me. word of warning: i really don’t know what i’m doing, so i’m, like, a total beginner.”
ellie chuckles reassuringly, likely having heard that tired statement a million times over. she gently picks the guitar up from your lap, inspecting its quality. of course, in her hands, the instrument looks like it was made to be held by her. “hey, that’s fine. everyone starts somewhere, right?” she gets to tuning the strings as naturally as breathing.
“so, what’s got you interested in learning?” ellie suddenly asks, just to fill the dense silence of the room. your mouth runs dry, struggling with a response that doesn’t sound as idiotic as “i’m an obnoxious flirt.” she catches onto your fumbling, adding, “what? wanting to look like a badass guitar god, hm?”
“calling yourself a badass, then?” the tongue-in-cheek question escapes before you can rein it in. ellie pauses her tuning to look up at you, and your heart drops to your stomach. she’s going to kick you out, you reckon.
“i mean… you are staring at me with your mouth open. must be in awe of my guitarist badassery or something. i don’t mind,” ellie replies with a knowing, smug smile, then returns to helping your sorry ass tune up your guitar.
yep, you definitely need that hole in the ground right now.
after that rocky introduction, the lesson takes on a more professional atmosphere, with ellie explaining the basics. she teaches you about the body of the instrument, the strings, and some basic history—you name it, and she knows it. it’s clear that ellie is enthusiastic about the guitar, her interest rubbing off on you, which does not help your case with how cute you already find her.
you try your best to be a good student, which isn’t the energy you typically bring to all your other short-lived courses. there is something special about ellie’s passion—how her lips move as she speaks about it, how her eyes light up, her fingers curling against the strings while demonstrating songs—it compels your attention. you listen respectfully to the multitude of rambles she embarks on and cuts short whenever ellie realizes she has led you too astray from the basics.
at approximately the 38th minute of the 40-minute lesson, you realize that you haven’t attempted to actually play the damn thing. ellie must have come to the same realization, flashing a tilted smile, hoping you aren’t too annoyed that this instructional course devolved into a ted talk, a worry she couldn’t possibly be more wrong about.
ellie assists your clumsy self in positioning the guitar onto your lap, showing you how to hold it correctly. the closeness has your heart racing, and every touch sends shivers through you—you hope the internal gay panic doesn’t translate outwardly. ellie takes her time helping you press your fingers onto the correct strings and frets to play a simple “c chord.” her fingers guiding yours with such precision causes your thoughts to veer into thousands of inappropriate possibilities. the pose feels a tad contorted, your fingers placed in a way totally foreign to you, but her reassurance builds your confidence to try. she crouches before you, making final adjustments before her greens glance back up to you expectantly, waiting for you to try.
you strum the one chord—a passable sound that resonates throughout the guitar. it gets the job done but, of course, lacks the flow that ellie could have had. but ellie is proud, her genuine smile and silly applause flustering you.
you find yourself feeling more accomplished in this single instance than in the last three skills you’ve tried combined.
“good start, guitar god. i’ll show you another one—if you think you’ll stick to a second lesson,” ellie then suggests, an endearing smile on her face as she watches you absent-mindedly fiddle with the individual strings a bit more. an effective bargaining tactic for sure.
“yep, no problem.” easiest commitment you’ve ever made.
"hell yeah," ellie rejoices, reaching out one last time to high-five you. she looks delighted. just happy to have a new, consistent student, of course--that has to be it.
you sign up for another lesson after—and maybe another. and another.
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Teach Me*
Summary: Harry needs a little practice in the art of Eating Pussy, and who better to ask for help than his best friend?
You.
Word Count: 5.4k
“...I’m sorry, you need to what?”
“I need…” Harry repeats, “...to eat you out.”
You blink at the man standing alarmingly still in the hallway outside of your door. “Is it crack? Is that what you smoke? Do you smoke crack?”
He smirks at the familiar joke before he’s brushing past you and striding into your apartment. “All right, fine. I just thought I’d ask.”
“Ask what?” you huff as you shut the door and face him. “I still don’t understand what it is you want.”
“I want to eat you out,” he says yet again as your expression falls flat. “Look I need…the practice.”
“Practice…”
“Practice.” He nods before flopping down onto the sofa. “You remember Tina, right?”
“Tall, hot, and out of your league?” you recall as you walk over to him. “Yes, I remember.”
He fights a smile. “Yeah, well…she agreed to let me take her out and I just…I want to make sure I’m prepared.”
“...prepared.”
“Prepared.” His eyes follow you as you take a seat beside him. “Come on, you know I don’t have a lot of experience with that shit, and I want to make sure I’m…you know, at least capable of making her come. And I have no other way to get…better.”
“Oh, so, naturally I’m your second-best option,” you snort playfully as you pull your knees to your chest. “But how would eating me out help you make her come? Not all girls like the same stuff, you know. Lesson number one.”
“Because I need someone to help me make my technique a little…smoother, I guess. Tell me what feels good and what doesn’t so I know,” he explains, without a hint of embarrassment, and truthfully, you’re a little impressed.
Harry has always been…bold, you would say. Assertive, confident, borderline egotistical. He’s never had a problem making friends or getting a girlfriend, so learning that his sexual experience didn’t expand as far as you thought it did was kind of a surprise.
You do admire him for wanting to be good for her. In fact, the thought is almost sweet, although you have no idea where he got the idea to ask you.
Sure, you’re his best friend, but…that’s kind of fucking…weird. Right? You guys don’t do that. You don’t even like to hug.
You run your tongue over your bottom lip and look for the deception within his expression. He could be messing with you. It wouldn’t be the first time and you certainly wouldn’t put it past him.
But there’s something…earnest in the way he speaks. In the way his eyes hold onto yours as he awaits your response, hopeful and desperate.
“So…wait, hold on.” You clear your throat and straighten up. “You…you honestly want…to eat me out…just to see if I like it?”
“Kind of, yeah,” he agrees as one shoulder bobs up in a nonchalant shrug. “I’ve got a few ideas on what to do, I just…I need someone—I need you—to tell me if it feels good or not. So I can practice and make sure she’ll like it.”
Your teeth begin to absentmindedly knaw on the inside of your cheek. Truthfully, you have no idea how to feel about this. The request is outrageous and weird and it goes way past the duties of friendship.
But you’ve known him forever and you trust him and honestly? You feel a little bad for the guy.
Sure, the best way for him to get the practice he needs would be with her, but you know him. He doesn’t like to admit he doesn’t know something and he absolutely despises feeling unprepared.
He’s a perfectionist.
And you are a little flattered that he feels safe enough with you to showcase his inexperience and that thought alone begins to wash your reservations away.
“So…all I’d have to do is just…sit here? And tell you yes or no?” you clarify, and he nods.
“Yeah. I won’t make you come, don’t worry. I know that’s…going a little farther than we need,” he says. “I just…wanna play with you a little.”
You smirk. “Wouldn’t not making me come defeat the purpose?”
He exhales a laugh as he leans back. “I just want to make sure I can. Besides, doesn’t it open up a bunch of emotions and shit? It attaches you to the person? I mean, do you really wanna live with the knowledge that you came because of me?”
“...no,” you admit. “Okay, that’s fair. So…if I agree…you’re not gonna drag this out, right? Just to annoy me?”
He chuckles again. “Well, I wanna make sure I’m doing it right…but no, I won’t drag it past that. I’ll stop whenever you want.”
Your fingers pull at a loose strand on your jeans. You aren’t seriously considering this, are you? “And if I say yes…how would we…I mean, what would we do?”
He thinks about this for only a moment, suggesting that he already came with a plan. Typical. “I guess we go somewhere you feel comfortable…we start slow. You tell me what you’re okay with, what you’re not okay with…and then I’ll just…get started.”
You look at him. Really look at him. He’s relaxed. Almost too relaxed considering the line he’s suggesting you both cross. A line you can never uncross.
And as you stare at those familiar features you’ve known for years…you feel your body exhale a deep breath. You’re doubtful, sure…but he’s always been rather exceptional at providing you comfort, just through a look alone.
Exactly like he is now.
His mouth quirks up in a smirk as he bumps his knuckles against your knee teasingly. “We don’t have to, Bee. I just…thought I’d ask.”
You roll your lips into your mouth as you hesitate, the familiar nickname calming you ever-so-slightly. “I didn’t…I’m not saying no, I just…I don’t know. It’s weird.”
“I know,” he agrees with a nod. “Look, just…forget I said anything. I’ll Google it, it’s fine. Let’s just watch Schitt’s Creek or something, yeah?”
With that, he turns toward the TV, grabs the remote, and begins to flip through the channels, leaving the conversation behind.
But you aren’t as quick to let the idea go. After all, he planted the seed, and now you’re starting to wonder. You’re starting to…accept.
Maybe things will be weird. And maybe you won’t be able to go back to how you used to be. But at least you’ll have helped him…? And that’s…something that friends do.
…right?
“I have never heard someone say so many wrong things…one after the other…consecutively…in a row,” David says to your right as Harry smiles and glances over to see if you’re listening.
But you’re not.
At least, not to David.
“Okay,” you murmur, quiet enough that it becomes lost beneath the next line on the show.
Harry, confused, raises a brow and begins to lower the volume. “Sorry, what?”
“Okay,” you repeat, a little more confidently than you had before. “Okay, I agree to your proposal. Just this once.”
He blinks. “Wait, seriously?”
“Seriously.” You nod. “What? Don’t look at me like that, I’m charitable. And cool, and a really good friend. So…don’t forget that the next time I ask you to buy the popcorn at the movie.”
His eyes roll but he laughs as he tosses the remote aside. “All right, that’s fair. Deal.”
You both go quiet.
Funny…for some reason, you thought agreeing would be all there was to it.
His eyes soften as he looks you over. “So…you’re in charge, okay? You just…tell me where you wanna go, what you’re comfortable with…whatever you want, yeah?”
You nod faintly before glancing toward your room. “Um…I guess we can do it on the bed. There’s probably more room, so it would be a little easier…I guess.”
He nods, too, before slowly moving for the edge of the couch. But he doesn’t stand until you do, eyeing you closely as if gauging your reaction.
You aren’t sure why you feel so…timid. You’re not exactly nervous, maybe just…apprehensive. But, it’s Harry, and he will always be the boy that got a blueberry stuck up his nose and snorted purple snot to you.
And it can’t get more embarrassing than that.
He follows you into the bedroom. The same bedroom he’s seen a million times, although now, it’s like a completely different space.
With an awkward clear of your throat, you take a seat on the corner of the mattress, head tilting back as you look up at him expectantly. “Uh…now what?”
“You tell me,” he says softly, hands finding refuge in his pockets. “Where do you wanna be? Against the pillows? Might be more comfortable.”
You glance over your shoulder at the headboard. “Yeah, I guess that’s…a good idea.”
He smiles again, stepping back to allow you the room to crawl back.
Once you’re in position and settled, he takes your spot on the edge of the bed. “Still good?”
You nod, arms resting atop your stomach, almost as if to hide yourself. “Yup.”
“Do you wanna pick a safeword?”
Your brows raise. “I mean…I think ‘stop’ will do just fine.”
He snorts his amusement. “Fair.”
Again, you both grow quiet, and you wish you could find your nerve. In the many years you two have known each other, not once have you ever been this shy. Or quiet. In fact, you don’t believe there’s ever been a second of silence between you, and you have no idea what to do with it.
He straightens up, taking the reins when he notices you don’t plan to. “Do you have your phone?”
Confused, you reach into your pocket and wiggle the cell phone free.
He nods. “Okay, I want you to pull up your favorite porn.”
Your lips part as you blink. “...I’m sorry, what now?”
"Well, I’m willing to bet you’re not exactly turned on right now, right?” he explains, nodding his chin at you with a teasing glint in his eye. “And I’m just thinking that might be a little harder to work with. For both of us.”
Unfortunately, he’s right. You’re about as dry as the Sahara desert, so you admit defeat and swipe up on your screen.
Now, while you and him have both exchanged some of your favorite videos before, pulling up one now…in front of him…feels like a whole new ballgame.
You quickly readjust the volume before looking for the ones you know normally do the trick, refusing to sneak a glance at the man now scooting a bit closer to you.
But you do hear him smile. “Find it?”
Your eyes land on the familiar thumbnail you’ve seen a hundred times before as you whisper, “Yeah.”
“Good,” he hums, hands coming to rest near your outstretched legs. “Can I take your jeans off? Just your jeans.”
You peek out from around the screen of your phone, catching the curious but hopeful look on his face. “...sure.”
He nods his understanding before shifting closer so he can reach for your zipper to guide it down.
You debate watching him but choose instead to click play on the video and force your attention elsewhere. Maybe this will go smoother if you just…don’t look at him.
Ever.
You feel the air hit your legs as his fingers curl around the fabric at your hips to pull it down. He’s deliberate, making sure he doesn’t accidentally graze something he’s not supposed to (ironically enough), but you appreciate the gesture.
He gently tugs the material down to your ankles before effortlessly tossing it aside, and you feel yourself swallow.
This isn’t your first time, so you thought you’d know what to expect. But you don’t know what to expect from him. He seems to have a plan (thank God), and you catch the way he eyes your underwear before he glances up at you.
“Ready?” he murmurs, the cadence of his voice rather reassuring. “I’ll just play with you a bit for now, yeah?”
Again, you swallow thickly, forcing the nerves aside. “Yeah, go.”
And from that point on, you decide to proceed with a more clinical mindset. This is practice, exactly like he said. It doesn’t mean anything to either of you, and once it’s over, you doubt you’ll ever mention it again.
It’s just practice.
A cunt is a cunt, a tongue is a tongue, a hand is a hand. Doesn’t matter who they belong to. Pleasure is pleasure, and that’s all there is to it.
You return your attention to your phone as the bed dips, signaling that he’s getting himself into position. You wonder what he means when he says he wants to play with you, and you also wonder if he’ll actually be any good.
But before you can worry that you’ll have to tell him that he’s terrible…he touches you.
You feel his palm, gently smoothing up your right leg, slowly but with purpose. Your breath hitches as you blink at the images flashing across the screen in front of you. You have no idea if you’ll be able to get out of your own head long enough to feel turned on, but you don’t worry about it quite yet.
Then…you feel his thumb.
Your entire body goes still as the pad of his finger brushes down the front of your underwear, right over your clit. There’s just enough pressure to capture your attention but not so much that it feels uncomfortable.
Your chest deflates with a deep breath as you begin to move your focus from the porn to him.
He does it again, a little harder this time around. It’s teasing, almost. Exactly like he said it would be. He’s simply playing with your body and seeing how it reacts. And every time you twitch or your legs begin to tense, you hear him smile, as if making a mental note of it.
For a few minutes, this is all he does. He runs his fingers up and down the fabric in slow but teasing patterns, pressing and sometimes circling as you feel an ache begin to form.
The sounds coming from your phone are successful in urging your body to bend to such salacious intentions. You can feel your muscles unwind as your mind begins to release those doubtful premonitions.
With a flutter of your lashes, you move your phone to the side so you can get a glimpse of the boy between your legs.
He doesn’t seem to notice. Either that or he pretends not to. And for a moment, you aren’t sure what to make of the sight before you. Harry, your best friend, in a staring contest with your cunt and you want to be put off…but you’re not.
“How’s that?” he murmurs after a moment, his other hand softly stroking the skin of your thigh as he pulls your legs further apart.
Your voice betrays you as you breathe, “Good.”
He looks up. Smiles. “Noted.”
He does it some more, thumbing over your clit before pressing into it and guiding it in a circle. You squirm each time, the faintest of whimpers getting stuck in the back of your throat.
He seems proud, and you almost want to be annoyed, but you just don’t have the mental capacity to be in this moment.
Maybe when it’s over.
And then, he does something you hadn’t expected.
He dips down…and presses a soft kiss to your inner thigh. Not too close but not too far, and as he does, his eyes find yours.
Shit. “Okay, I’m ready,” you whisper quickly, hips subtly bucking up. “I’m…I think I’m good now.”
His brow raises as he drops his hand and you have to fight the urge to whine. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” You chew on your bottom lip. “I mean, if you are.”
“I am,” he says, glancing back down at your waist. “Yeah, I am.”
So you nod, and anxiously await his next move.
He reaches again for your body, and you want to sigh with relief as he slips his fingers under the band of your underwear to peel it down.
The cool air is rather chilling and it’s then that you’re made aware of the mess already forming between your thighs. You knew you’d begun to enjoy yourself but you’re surprised by just how much.
Whether that was because of him or because of the video…you don’t exactly know.
Once the lace has been flicked to the side, he readjusts onto his knees and formulates a plan.
He makes you wait. Watch. Watch as he once again takes your legs in his hands to guide them apart and settle between them.
Watch as he outstretches his palm so he can run it along your hip before moving lower.
Watch as he takes his thumb and brings it back to your clit which is now exposed to his skin.
And the contact is sinful. You’re worked up enough that the immediate connection makes your head drop back, and while you’d like to be embarrassed…you just don’t care.
He drags it down. Down. Presses, rubs, and dips into the wetness that waits for him.
He’s concentrated, and the look on his face is rather adorable. He’s learning. Studying. Observing each and every reaction you offer him as he continues to tease you.
Once in a while, he’ll venture a glance up, perhaps for approval, and you’ll nod quickly. Then, he’ll return to the task at hand as he looks for new ways to make you gasp.
He slides the tip of his finger in without warning and when you whimper, he stills and raises his brow.
You can tell he was aiming for the element of surprise, choosing not to warn you in order to receive this very response, but he’s not sure if that was a sound of approval or unease, so you rush to clarify.
“No, it’s fine,” you mumble. “It’s fine, it’s good.”
“Are you su—”
“Yes, it’s good. Go.”
Encouraged, he pushes in. He’s still wary of your enjoyment but he seems to focus more on the movement of his hand than your expressions. And that’s all right with you. You’re happy to simply sit and…judge. Which is what he’s asked you to do, and you plan to uphold your end of the deal.
He stops when he’s reached his knuckle, finger curling slightly before he’s gently pulling back. He repeats the action a time or two more and the fullness that accompanies the stretch is quite enjoyable.
Your eyes move to the ceiling as you fight the urge to watch him. You’re not that comfortable yet and perhaps watching him would ruin the fun. So, for now, you stare at the white paint above you as he begins to pump his hand a bit faster.
When he adds a second finger, you gasp, and he uses this as leverage to expand his search.
And you know exactly what he’s looking for, the crease between his brows indicative of his captivation.
But just when you’re getting ready to offer some help, he drives in and curls up until the tips of his fingers brush against that particular point of ecstasy.
You inhale a sharp breath and writhe away, faintly panting, “Shit…that.”
Intrigued, he perks up, although he doesn’t relax his pace. “That?”
He does it again and your eyes squeeze shut. “Yeah…yeah, it’s…mhm.”
A smile dances across his lips as he scoots a little closer to watch his own hand as he repeats the action.
You begin to slump down the mattress, limbs turning to jello as he guides your body up toward that familiar ledge, and you hear him hum his approval.
“Good,” he murmurs, you assume in an attempt to soothe you. “Very good, m’proud of you. Seem to be doing really well.”
You stumble over a scoff. “Yeah, well…so are you.”
The grin grows. “Still doing okay?”
“Yes,” you whisper when his thumb ghosts over your clit. “Yeah, I…fuck. I’m…is this all you’re gonna do…then? I thought…I thought you wanted…to…with…the other…”
Nothing that comes out of your mouth is coherent but he seems to understand. “Yeah, I just wasn’t sure if you were ready.”
“I am,” you correct quickly. “I’m…yeah, I’m fine. You can…you’re good. Just do it.”
He dips his head down but doesn’t quite connect as he continues to watch you carefully. “Bee?”
“...wha—shit—what?”
“Thank you.”
Your eyes roll playfully, although perhaps that’s just from the pleasure. “Yeah, yeah, I’m…I’m a fucking saint. Just…fucking do it, okay?”
So…he does.
Those lips you used to stare at move down to your clit and he brushes his mouth over your body for just a moment before you see his tongue.
He takes a moment to decide exactly what he wants to do before he’s pressing that tongue into you and dragging it up from his hand.
You’re so wound up that it doesn’t take much more for you to arch off the bed in search of that feeling. He’s hardly done anything but your head is rolling back across the pillow as your fingers dig into the blanket beneath you.
He nips at you gently, continuing to pump your arousal in and out as it coats his hand, and your mind instantly falls completely blank.
The sounds…god, the sounds. The sound of you, the sound of him, the sound of your body falling apart beneath him.
He’s good. He’s very good, and you almost wonder if he was lying about his inexperience. There’s no way he learned this from porn…at least, you can’t see how. But, he is a perfectionist. Maybe it just comes naturally to him.
“Awfully quiet up there,” you hear him say, and the vibration of the deep tone of voice sparks a chill down your spine. “That bad?”
No! you want to scream but you simply shake your head. “It’s…it’s good. You’re…this is great. This is all…you know…standard…good…stuff.”
When he smiles, your cheeks grow hot. “Guess I have a good teacher.”
“Please,” you huff, pressing your palm to your forehead. “You always—god, always know what you’re doing. I had nothing to do with it.”
He shrugs as his eyes flick across the mess in front of him. “Had more to do with it than you think.”
He dives back in, licking a stripe up before driving his fingers in further. And there’s so much happening. So much that it makes you crazy. There’s him, and there’s you, and there’s that reminder of need that continues to grow. You can’t focus in on any one thing, and honestly...you’re okay with that.
When he sucks you into his mouth, you have to fight the urge to grab onto him, twisting the duvet around your knuckles as you reel.
“Don’t,” he mumbles, and you work to figure out what he’s referring to. Did you do something wrong? “Don’t grab the blanket. Grab me.”
You blink down at him. “I’m…no, it’s fine. I was just—”
“Bee, I’m not asking,” he interrupts, rather resolutely. “You wanna do it, so do it. Promise, I don’t mind.”
You certainly aren’t a stranger to this more…authoritative side of him. Although now, you might even…like it? At least, in this context.
“Come on,” he repeats, pulling back only to shoot you a stern look. “She will. And it’ll show me what you like. Don’t be a pussy, just do it. You won’t hurt me.”
And you almost want to fight him, but he’s right, and you can’t argue that.
So, the moment he returns to his focused work, you reach for those chocolate brown curls and give them a nice tug.
He makes a noise of approval that nearly kills you, lapping at your folds like he’s depraved and you’re his only remedy.
Tina is gonna love it.
He finds a certain rhythm that you respond to well and zeros in. His cheeks hollow every time he sucks on you only to quickly pop off as he presses his tongue beside his fingers.
Your nails scratch down his scalp and he seems to like it, his other hand grasping onto your thigh so hard you imagine it’ll bruise.
And for just a moment, you actually don’t mind. You concede to the satisfaction he’s offering and you indulge in it. You find gratification in the fact that you accepted and you even decide that maybe…this was a good idea.
“Are you close?” he asks once your whimpers scale up an octave.
You nod quickly. “Yes…yeah, I’m…yeah.”
“Good,” he muses proudly before he’s suddenly removing his hand from your body and pulling away.
You nearly disappear through the mattress as you choke on a dejected whine and look down at him. “What…what happened?”
He breathes out a laugh as he settles onto his knees. “Nothing, I’m just keeping my word.”
His word.
Right.
“You…oh,” you whisper, fighting your disappointment. “Yeah. Well…that was…you did good. That was all…you know, very well done. She’ll like it, you’ll be fine.”
He seems pleased with your approval before his eyes begin to narrow in thought. He watches you haphazardly reach for a throw blanket to cover yourself, but just as you’re getting ready to toss it over your legs, he snatches onto your wrist.
You both still as he studies you. “Bee?”
“...what?”
He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. “If there’s something you want to ask me…then ask me.”
You blink. “What…what do you mean?”
With his hold still on your arm, he leans closer. “Bee…we agreed, yeah? M’trying to be a good student, but I can’t be if you don’t tell me what you want.”
Your breath hitches the closer he gets. “Har, I don’t know what you’re—”
“Do you wanna come?”
Well…shit. “I…” You begin to shift nervously under his pointed stare. “I was just…”
His expression softens although there’s a hint of smugness swimming behind his smile. “Do you want me…to make you come?” he clarifies as your stomach twists into a knot.
Feigning exasperation, you huff a stray hair from your eye. “Well, what do you think? Obviously nobody likes being edged.”
He’s amused as he begins to lower back down, fingers still wrapped around your wrist. “Then what do you need to do?”
You huff again, shooting a quick glare his way as you watch him drop his gaze to your sensitive cunt. “Harry…come on.”
He clicks his tongue and cocks his head. “Nope, that’s not it.”
You open your mouth, a quippy remark locked and loaded, but right before you can use it…he puckers his lips and blows on your clit.
Your muscles recoil and your throat seems to close up as you pull against his hold. “You fucking asshole, you did that on purpose.”
“Obviously.” He tosses you a wink. “You wanna try again?”
No, I wanna kill you, you think but don’t say. “Harry…please.”
You briefly notice the way his eyelashes flutter at the sound of his name but he doesn’t comment on it. “Please what?”
“Harry—”
“Come on, Bee, you can do it.”
“I just…I…this isn’t…”
“Almost there, that’s it. Be a good girl and ask me.”
Oh, that sadistic fucker. You’d berate him for such a nickname if it didn’t turn you on so goddamn much, especially with the state you're in. You might even wanna hear it again and truth be told, the thought blows your mind.
You swallow a shaky breath. “Harry?”
“Yes?”
“...please make me come.”
A wide smile bursts across his face. “Attagirl.”
And with that…he continues.
You’re thrust back up the precipice of pleasure as he slips three fingers into your aching, dripping cunt.
And it’s purposeful and practiced and he’s such a liar because he knows exactly what he’s doing, at least to you, and you want to smack him.
But you also want to grab onto his hair and his arm and every inch of his body and never let go because he’s so good for making you feel this way. The best friend you could ever have and why on Earth didn’t you guys try this earlier?
Each curl, each twist, each push in. You feel so full and he feels so good and it’s only his hand and then suddenly…it’s his mouth, too.
And the moment he presses his tongue against you, you lose it. You roll your hips against his face, and lift your back from the bed, and drop your mouth open as a desperate moan falls free.
And it goes, and goes, and goes. Stronger and longer than any other one you’ve ever had and this time, you think it really does kill you.
But he doesn’t stop, not even when you’ve begun to settle. He pushes against the sensitive nerves until tears spring to your eyes. He teases and he tortures and he demands a second orgasm out of you before you can even fight it.
This time, he grabs onto your hips, one hand on either side, to lift you and place you where he wants.
And he tastes you. Savors you on his tongue as if this is for his enjoyment, not yours.
And you look down at him, and you see the flush in his cheeks, and the messy way his hair falls into his eyes, and the veins in his arms as he holds you.
And you lose it. Completely and utterly and permanently.
You disappear into your own head for a moment until his ministrations relax and he slowly—very slowly—begins to let go.
As you fight to catch your breath, you watch him run his thumb across his lip. He’s going to wipe you away, you imagine, but then, to your surprise, he sucks his thumb into his mouth.
When he notices you watching, he raises a brow. “Want some?”
And you can only lay there and stare at him, dumbfounded and blissed-out
He laughs to himself when he notices the spacey expression on your face, moving to hover over your body until he’s only inches away. “Can I try something else?”
“What?” you ask breathlessly.
He smiles. “Kissing you.”
Your eyes widen. “...why?”
He shrugs. “I mean, it’s only polite after something like that, no? Like…a parting gift.”
Your eyes narrow. “How sweet. No, really, that was so romantic. Don’t stop, give me another compliment—”
He presses his lips to yours. And it’s rushed and it’s messy and it’s the perfect parting gift.
It’s him.
And you don’t mind that.
You both grin when he pulls back, chuckling to yourselves as he flops over onto the bed beside you.
He helps you toss the blanket over your legs before he’s turning onto his side, head in his hand as he studies you. “All right, Teach. What do you say?”
You pretend to think. “Well…your dirty talk could use some work.”
He smirks. “Okay.”
“And your incessant need to make me spell it out lost you a few points.”
“Sure, sure.”
“But, overall…that was really good,” you admit, and he beams. “Like…better than I expected, and I kind of think you lied about not knowing what to do.”
He shakes his head playfully as he glances off into your room. “Good to know you had so much faith in me.”
“Oh, I didn’t. Not even a little.”
He snorts. “Well, I meant what I said. I only knew what to do because of you.”
“Yeah right. I didn’t tell you any of that.”
“You did,” he argues, turning his attention back to you. “Not with words, no. But with the sounds you made. The way your breath would catch or the way you’d squirm. Or when your nose would crinkle up ’cause you were trying really hard not to like it.”
Shit…had he noticed that? “I…okay, in my defense…I like almost anything. And I wanted to make you work for it.”
“Oh, is that right?”
“Yeah.”
He rolls over onto his back, grinning up at the ceiling. “All right, well…I still appreciate it.”
“Hey, don’t get all sappy on me now.”
“Fuck off,” he groans. “I mean it, Bee. I was honestly…okay, don’t fucking laugh, but…I was kind of nervous about it. About whether or not she’d like it. Whether or not you’d like it, and…I’m glad you said yes. I’m glad it was you because…you know. It’s you. And I always feel better around you.”
You work to restrain your smile as you look up at the fan spinning above you. “I feel better around you, too.”
He hums.
“Especially after that. I mean…that was good,” you add and he shakes his head again. “She’s gonna love it.”
He turns to you. “Honestly?”
“Honestly.” You meet his eye. “Really, Har, you have nothing to worry about. She’ll show you what she likes just like I did. You know what to do, you just have to listen. And then…you can call me and tell me all about it.”
“Deal,” he agrees eagerly, sticking his pinky between you.
You take it and squeeze. “And I already know what next week's lesson is gonna be.”
Amused, he says, “Oh, yeah? And what’s that?”
You grin.
“How To Eat Ass 101.”
Next part:
~ Show Me* (Pt. 2)
~ Full Teach Me Masterlist (with all the other parts plus extras!)
~ Other Harry Blurbs
~ Full Masterlist
#harry#harry edward styles#harry styles#harry styles fan#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles one shot#best friends to lovers#friends to lovers#best friend!harry#harry styles imagine#harry styles smut#harry styles x you#harry styles x reader#smut#oneshot#imagine#harry styles concept#harry and bee
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I SENT THE ASK ABT TEACHER CORYO IM BEGGING YOU TO WRITE TA/PROFESSOR SNOW 😝
OKOKOK IM GONNA WRITE SOME HEADCANONS BUT I MIGHT HONESTLY EXPAND THIS INTO A FULL FIC BC im a whore!
warning(s): nsfw, obsessive behavior, lowkey an abuse of power
coriolanus, almost out of university, was selected to teach a higher level math class on the account of dr. gaul saying he needed a little bit more experience with teaching and leadership if he was to be head gamemaker. so, he was a TA, teaching under a professor but was basically given full rein with the class, as the professor seemed to focus more on research than teaching the class. the second he was in the lecture discussion, he saw you walk in. you were a junior, just a year under him in university and god were you beautiful. almost mouth wateringly so. it made him sick in the head at how pretty you were.
and gods above, you were smart, almost as smart as he was (though he wouldn't ever admit that) and it was clear that you liked him. you always smiled when he complimented your high scores on tests and quizzes, and would read the notes that he put in the margins of your essays with a glimmer in your eyes. he needed to talk to you, needed to be closer to you, and the only way that he could think of was to give you slightly lower marks on your essays and homeworks. never on a test, he would never want to drop your grade low enough for it to be concerning, but he did wait for you to stumble into his office hours. and you did. you asked him how you could do better on the material, and he told you that he'd help you.
he didn't have an office, only a classroom that he was lent during his office hours in the top floor of the math building. it was there that you would meet him, every tuesday and thursday, to go over problems. he liked the way that your lip would be bitten in between your teeth when you were looking at a particularly hard problem, or when you would look at him with your big doe eyes when you asked him for help. and whenever you asked him for help, he would lean closer, and explain it to you.
one day, he finally got the courage to make a move. you asked him for help and he placed his hand on your thigh, as if he was using it to keep himself steady as he leaned over. but instead of watching him explain on the paper, you kept your attention on his face. and then he pushed his hand further up your thigh, under your skirt, and you didn't stop him. your hand came to his and you pushed it up until it was cupping your pussy. he fingered you right then and there, hoping beyond hoping that no one else would walk into his office hours for help. the two of you made out while he fingered you, going as far as to press three fingers into you, with a squelching sound, your moans echoing through the room softly.
that became somewhat of a normal thing. you two always met during his office hours, until you decided to go to his home one day for some extra tutoring. it ended with you in his large bed with your legs spread, while he put his fingers in your mouth as he fucked you with such fervor that you were sure you were going to break.
sometimes when he was grading papers, you would slink under his desk and pull his cock out, spitting on the tip and bobbing your head up and down until he gave you the attention you wanted. he always fantasized about you doing this when he was teaching another class, with you working him with your mouth as he sat on his desk and no one else knew the wiser. he would have to try that with you one day.
lots of words like how dirty you were for sleeping with your teacher. "you're such a needy thing, aren't you?" "show me how good you've gotten" when you were riding him. "you probably fantasize about my cock in class, don't you?" it was all so derogatory. and other times he would praise you. he would tell you how smart and beautiful you were. he would let you cum when you got a problem right while he sat under the desk, eating you out. when you got a problem wrong, he would stop, and no amount of begging would get him to continue unless you continued your work.
#coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow smut#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus snow x you#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus x you#tbosas#the hunger games#tom blyth#angelica talks!!
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Solar Return Observations 3
Accuracy influenced by entire chart
SR VENUS conjunct NATAL MERCURY
This can sometimes indicate resolving issues. Venus can offer a harmonious energy. You or someone else may effectively communicate to create solution.
House placement is important as well - EX: In 3rd, it could be with a childhood friend, siblings/cousin, neighbour. You or them could reach out to resolve past problems.
SR VENUS conjunct NATAL VENUS
In a social house like 7th, 5th, 11th, 1st, this can indicate a new romantic interest.
In 11th, 10th or 2nd this can indicate a blessing in finances, reputation, or long term goals.
In 10th, you may be promoted. You may find a new source of income. You may be better perceived. A boost in reputation or status.
In 2nd, you may purchase one or many new possession. You may find a new source of income. You may receive help in finances.
However, keep in mind entire chart influences accuracy. For example, SR VENUS conjunct NATAL VENUS in 2nd H opposite Jupiter. This can manifest as making purchases that you can’t afford. Venus can feel indulgent. If you’re not disciplined in finances, Jupiter in 8th may expand your debt/what you owe.
SR Lilith in 9th
Usually I don’t put too much focus on asteroids in SR. However, I have seen this many times in the charts of friend’s in the year they dropped out.
This can manifest as being the “outcast”. You may not feel you belong while travelling. You may feel you don’t belong while enrolled in a uni or other type of higher educational program.
SR SOUTH NODE conjunct ASC
This can result in unintentional or intentional weight loss. South Node can create decrease. In my experience, this can be a year where you focus less on yourself. You don’t even realize you aren’t getting enough sleep and/or food. Your focus is on your relationship’s with other people (romantic, business, platonic). Since SR NORTH NODE would be in 7th, this can be due to changes in relationships with others.
SR MARS IN 8th
This is can be a difficult placement. Be careful to not act on any impulsive or negative thoughts. You may experience a lot of emotional distress. Mars can be quick to act.
You may rely on other people’s finances as well. A negative manifestation of this would be stealing money or a possession from someone else.
SR Jupiter in 5th
This can indicate you or someone else is expecting a child.
You may meet new romantic interests.
You may find new hobbies. You can teach others about these hobbies/recreational activities.
The negative manifestation is you may find there is a lot of drama in your life this year. You may want to check aspects & natal jupiter placement for more insight. Example: If natal Jupiter is 10th, possibly this drama is regarding the workplace or authority figures.
SR SOUTH NODE in 12th H
This can leave you feeling mentally or physically depleted. The reasons may be unknown to you. A mystery illness. Negative emotion lurking behind you for possibly unknown reasons.
North node would be in 6th if you have this placement. This suggests you may be inspired to focus on fixing your health. You may join a gym or find other ways to be active. You may create an entirely new routine. You may get a pet to help your mental health.
A negative manifestation would be changes in daily life possibly on the job that negatively affect your mental or physical well-being.
SR MARS conjunct ASC
This can make you prone to accidents. You could develop a rash. You may find scars on your body or face. You may struggle with more frequent breakouts.
The positive manifestation is you are more energized. You could be more active this year. You could be more assertive and action orientated. This may lead to more arguments.
SR MARS conjunct MC
This can indicate your being seen as more assertive. You may go for leadership roles in the workplace. This can indicate hostility in the workplace and in regard to your reputation/status.
ex: Let’s say SR MC is conjunct URANUS & SR MARS is conjunct MC. This seriously indicates a tough work year. You may unexpectedly be fired or quit.
SR PLUTO conjunct SR VERTEX
This indicates a transformative event that is fated. This event may lead to receiving more power or status. However, if badly placed it can be a loss of power & status.
To find in which area of life it will occur, check for the house. EX:
4th H : You may move. You may experience a death in the family.
6th: You may experience the death of a pet. You may be diagnosed with an illness or disorder.
3rd: You may move neighbourhood. You may get a new vehicle. Your relationships with siblings, cousins, childhood friends and even neighbours may change.
SR Saturn conjunct Neptune
This transit will kick your ass if you have been doing any shady shit - lying, cheating, stealing, going behind people's back, etc. The consequences are unavoidable. I have seen people who have this in their SR be exposed, shamed and left.
If you aren't doing any of that, it can still be tough. You may find other's around you are exposed. They could have been going behind your back.
Depending on house & sign, the experience will force you to mature. You can get a hard reality check if you haven't been actually working toward you goals. Saturn will bring experiences that make it hard for Neptune to keep you in a dream state. Saturn wants you to create a solid plan and start working toward your dreams.
#astrology observations#astrology#solar return observations#solar return jupiter in 5th house#solar return mars in 8th house#solar return south node conjunct ascendant#solar return venus conjunct venus#solar return south node in 12th house#solar return mars in first house#solar return mars conjunct mc
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minghao as your boyfriend
notes: happy new year! my first post in a Long time but here's to more writing in 2024... let's do this!
lots of quiet moments together. even in loud, crowded rooms, minghao still finds a way to give you little moments of solace with a hand in yours and quiet, whispered conversations.
art gallery dates! so many art gallery dates. every time a new one opens, you're equally excited to go visit. sometimes you'll both quietly share your interpretations of the different pieces with each other, and sometimes you'll just bask in the beauty of the creations and simply being able to experience it together.
very endeared by you. you will simply exist and he'll let out his soft giggle, burying his face in your shoulder, pinching your cheeks, and kissing all over your face when you guys are alone together. you're confused when he first does it, asking what you did for him to be so impossibly fond. he just responds with a you're so cute, baby and it makes you far more flustered than you're willing to admit.
very protective over you. not because he thinks you're weak–you're one of the strongest people he knows–but he's very gentle with you anyways. he does everything he can to make sure you don't get hurt, and is very, very attentive to you. you've been doing everything yourself for so long, he just wants to take care of you.
you're both a very fashionable couple. long trench coats, nail designs, matching colour schemes. everybody is intimidated by you until they catch you giggling together in a corner.
loves having you in his lap. he'll wrap his hands around your waist and rest his cheek on your shoulder, quietly telling you how much he appreciates everything about you.
he will casually say the most devastating things, randomly, while he traces little shapes on your hip. baobei, i'd give you all the stars if you ask. you're my warm patch of sunlight, my safe space. everything slows down when i'm with you. little i love you's scattered all over the things he says to you.
he gets uncharacteristically shy when you compliment him. the first time you do it, it's when he got his nails done differently and you told him it was pretty and his ears went very red. you've taken advantage of it ever since.
takes you on romantic dinner dates, well thought out and so, so perfect.
he teaches you how to slow dance, even through all the times you accidentally step on his foot. he twirls you and kisses you so sweetly, you could turn to putty in his hands.
a Very good kisser. i could expand on this but the brain worms are simply too strong. but he's Good with his tongue. the first time you really kiss him, you pull away very breathless and tell him just that. the only thing he answers you with is a small smug smile and a gentle peck, so different from the heated makeout session.
takes the best photos of you and hypes you up while he does it. the only reason your instagram feed looks so good is because of his amazing photography skills.
#seventeen scenarios#seventeen imagines#svt writers#svt scenarios#svt x reader#frenshushutoast writes#seventeen fluff#minghao x reader#minghao#minghao fluff#minghao headcanons#the8 x reader#seventeen fic
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☀️Sun in Synastry - How this person lights you up ☀️
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Their Sun in your 1st House Synastry
Sun is the illumination. Sun is attention and the core of our essence. When someone's Sun falls in your 1st house, you can expect this person to completely transform your outlook on life. The Sun person will show you new ways of being, they will show you traits about yourself, they will be like a mirror to you. Their love language will be to motivate the heck out of you. This person will encourage you immensely to be a better person. They will teach a lot about who you are. Your mindset will expand and grow with this person's presence. They will hold you down in your darkest times, and will fly together with you in your best times. Expect a lot of compliments from this person, a lot of deep talks where you touch the very ways of being authentic & being yourself, a lot of admiration for the person that you are! You both will relate to each other immensely and will grow together as two individuals. The Sun person will feel like they found a person worth sharing their life with, because you two are so similar in so many ways. There could be a little bit of competition involved, but rest assured if this is a healthy relationship, you won't have to worry.
Their Sun in your 2nd House Synastry
This is kind of materialistic, but this person is actually so whipped up for you, that they can't really focus on anything else. This person is extremely attracted to how you carry yourself, what your beliefs and focus on life is, what it is that you do with your body, your possessions, how you act, etc. This person has a whole dictionary about you built in their heads. This may sound a bit obsessive, BUT it's in a good way. Because this person simply adores the way you carry yourself. They are attracted to how nicely you put yourself together, your habits and values, they are super inspired by that! You can expect this person to gift you a lot of things that they might want to be a part of your aesthetic. They might be super touchy, especially in healthy romantic relationships, the Sun person will love to adore your body, make you feel good about yourself, see you enjoying the experiences they give to you ;) . You will feel like they constantly have their eyes on you and even from a far without seeing it you can just tell that they were peeking glances at you. You will feel super adored and cherished by them. And they will make sure to do whatever it is that will put a genuine smile on your face.
Their Sun in your 3rd House Synastry
This person will be extremely talkative around you. Even if this is a very shy and introverted person, you can very well expect their talkative side to come out in your presence! They will naturally feel like expressing their thoughts to you. And they will feel like found an amazing companion with whom they can discuss anything and grow their minds in plenty of ways. You both will share a lot of deep conversations, ideas that you both will bond on, and you can expect plenty of similar opinions on plenty of things. The Sun person will open up to you in plenty of way and you will find a buddy with whom you share a lot of similar ideas and interests. This is not extremely romantic, like the cases where the couple is super intimate or involved in each other's lives. This is more lighthearted and about a very beautiful friendship built on common interests. This person's love language is to speak what they feel about you, they are very honest and don't really sugarcoat anything. You can always expect to have a good laugh with this person about anything. They will be super goofy around you.
Their Sun in your 4th House Synastry
When someone's Sun falls in your 4th house, you can really expect a sense of intimacy and closeness with that person. This person will feel like a home that you always wanted to return to. You both will build a very deep sense of attachment and closeness with each other. The Sun person will feel very seen in the presence of the house person. They will like they finally found a person who understands them to a great length. You both will be very active when alone. Expect a lot of quality time together where you both just spend as much time as you both can simply understanding each other and feeling comfortable in each other's presence. You both will share a lot of "secrets", in a way where the Sun person will only open up truly with you. You will see a very emotionally charged and vulnerable side of the Sun person. They will feel like you can just 'get' them for no real reason, and therefore sometimes they might feel a bit hesitant or shy with you. Their love language is to spend time alone together where you both create this safe space for each other to express whatever you both feel. You can also expect almost this baby like behavior from this person because they just feel so safe with you!
Their Sun in your 5th House Synastry
When the Sun falls in the 5th house in synastry, an undeniable sense of joy and creative expression permeates the connection between two individuals. The Sun person becomes a radiant source of inspiration and vitality for the house person, igniting a profound sense of playfulness and enjoyment in their presence. There is a natural harmony and synchronization between the energies, fostering a deep emotional connection and a shared zest for life's pleasures. The house person experiences a magnetic pull towards the Sun person, as if they have found a muse who understands and appreciates their unique talents and desires. When someone's Sun falls in your 5th house, it's like you've found your own personal ray of sunshine. The Sun feels naturally themselves in your presence. Since is at home in the 5th house. This connection thrives on quality time spent together, nurturing a sacred space where they can openly express their deepest emotions and create lasting memories. The love language between them is a fusion of passion, creativity, and genuine companionship, creating a tapestry of shared experiences that celebrates their individuality and brings out the best in each other.
Their Sun in your 6th House Synastry
When someone's Sun falls in your 6th house in synastry, it's like having a dependable partner who's got your back. This person brings stability and practicality to the table, making you feel supported and grounded. They understand the importance of getting things done and staying organized, which meshes well with your need for routines, and a stable life. Together, you make a great team, always ready to lend a helping hand and push each other to achieve your goals. You appreciate how the Sun person sees your efforts and values your attention to detail. You'll find yourselves spending a lot of time working together, tackling tasks and creating a sense of accomplishment. Acts of service and practical gestures are their love language. You both show each other that you're reliable and committed to help each other in whatever situation. This is a good aspect for co-workers and if you both are working on something together, like managing a home and kids! The Sun person will show you ways to have better routines or they might totally change your lifestyle. You both make an awesome team!
Their Sun in your 7th House Synastry
With someone's Sun in your 7th house, you will experience a deep sense of commitment and closeness with them. The Sun person will be like your soulmate, your perfect companion. You will find that all the qualities that you seek in an ideal partner, are presented in the Sun person. With this placement, you both will feel like each other's ride or die, or partner's in crime. The Sun person's love language is to spend a lot of quality time together, literally being together, and just supporting each other in whatever. This is a very ideal placement for romantic relationships because the Sun person becomes this perfect other half. The 7th house is all about "the others." Sun will help you feel fulfilled in this relationship, will teach you a lot about relationships and making a relationship itself work. You will learn to depend upon each other in a healthy way, to communicate your needs in a healthy way, and to learn how you can be there for someone through the thick and thin. There will be a lot of joy and playfulness in this relationship. You will feel like you found you soulmate, or a person that just simply gets you!
Their Sun in your 8th House Synastry
The 8th house, especially in Synastry is super intense and deep. Because the 8th house is all about bonds, secrets, transformation and rebirth. It's all about what you share with someone else. Therefore when someone's Sun falls into your 8th house, you can expect to share an extremely deep connection with them. And by deep, I don't mean just deep talks, this is a whole mind, body and soul deep. This will bind you to the Sun person on a whole new level. You both will feel super involved in each other's lives. The Sun person will illuminate your secrets, your deepest darkest side, all your shadows. You will feel like a completely different person in their presence. They will show you parts of yourself that were so deeply buried within you. This person's love language, honestly is just anything that exist to make you feel loved and better. The Sun person is so infatuated, so intrigued by your essence, that they can't help but be involved in anything and everything that you do. They don't hold back. This relationship might get obsessive sometimes for the both of you, but remember to always trust each other first and foremost. You both will thrive in environments when both of your needs are met equally.
Their Sun in your 9th House Synastry
When someone's Sun falls into your 9th house, you can truly expect this connection to be full of excitement and growth. This is the type of couple that will explore the world together, have adventures, make plenty of memories, teach each other so much about life, and these two might even change each other's philosophy/outlook on life while in this relationship. The Sun person feels super interested about learning your philosophy on life. The Sun person looks up to you as this wise soul who can teach them a lot about life. You will feel like the Sun person is this curious soul who is always eager to learn something new about life. With this aspect you can expect a relationship filled with a sense of adventure, any kind of. You will have more fun with the Sun person than you have had with any other person (unless they have their Sun in your 9th house as well). Sun's love language is to make memories with you, any kind of. They would love to go on adventures with you, travel with you, make beautiful memories with you. Anything with the Sun person will feel super thrilling. This might turn into a restless energy where both of you can't catch up with each other's need to live their life to the fullest. The Sun person will be your greatest teacher about life.
Their Sun in your 10th House Synastry
The 10th house is the highest point in the sky, and having someone's Sun there tells us that they will be an extremely influential person when it comes to our public image. The Sun person is naturally the person who other people consider you to be. Your social mask will be even more illuminated by the Sun person. They will shine bright, when they are around you. People might be immensely drawn to their presence in your life. This also symbolizes that the Sun person will play an important role in your career and public life. They are someone who gives you much more publicity than you usually get or if you are an introverted person they make you become super social and interactive with others. Sun will also make you feel more confident and bold than usual. You will feel a heightened sense of ambition, recognition and power. This is kind of giving, "Whenever you will be remembered/talked about by others, some way or the other the Sun person's name will follow up." The Sun person will bring you lots of growth in your career field, and they will almost be like a mentor. Romantically speaking, the Sun person loves to show you off, praise you for your achievements, and they love it when people see you both together.
Their Sun in your 11th House Synastry
The 11th house is all about networking, dreams, hopes, long term plans, etc. This is the most social house. When someone's Sun falls in your 11th house, you will find that they are present in every one of your social interactions somehow. Sun person will be very popular among your friends and networks. The Sun person will give you a heightened sense of going after what you desire. They will truly be your biggest cheerleader. You will feel like you found you best friend who is with you on every step of the way while you set out to fulfill your hopes and desires. They will help you immensely along the way, perhaps by guiding you with the right steps to take or by introducing you to people who can help you immensely. The Sun person will feel like a beautiful star around your presence because you share with them your plans and hopes. They will feel like you value them a lot because they are like this guiding light in your life. Sun's love language is to include you in their own dreams and plans, to always encourage you and be there for you as a helping hand whenever you aspire for something. You will find a deep sense of fulfillment in this relationship because Sun will help you realise a lot more about your own ideals of life.
Their Sun in your 12th House Synastry
12th house is the most "hidden in plain sight" type of house. Often times the Sun person will express themselves in such subtle ways that will make you wonder if they are really expressing themselves or if it's just you. This relationship is build on very subconscious clues and those unrecognizable signs. The Sun person activates this intuitive side of yours where you can just perceive what's up with them or why they are behaving the way they are. A heightened intuition is a keyword here. The Sun person finds you to be very mysterious, and someone who they cannot really understand just by looking at the surface. The Sun person feels a lot of intense thoughts/emotions whenever you are around. And you feel super attracted to them because they feel like this ball of light that has lit up your darkest house. This person might make you loose your mind upon how intensely obsessed they make you feel with them, and vice versa. There is a sense of very strong connection on the spiritual side, therfore it's also a very karmic house because this type of intense connection will tangle you both very deeply with each other. You will feel like an unexplainable attraction towards them, and you will be fascinated by who they are as a person.
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#natal chart reading#astrology readings#sun in synastry#synastry chart reading#Synastry sun#future spouse#relationship astrology#Synastry love reading#astrology
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okay, love I've got something in my mind for a fic.
reader is mate to ao'nung, but they're in love with each other and reader is the future tsahik for metkayina clan (ronal choose her because she's really adore her) and she's learning to became a tsahik but also travel to another clan to learning from their tsahik. when she came back from her trip, she didn't know there's jake sully fams live in her clan. then she's getting close to the sully's and tell them about the trip. then little suprise is one of sully's boys have feeling for her and confess to her but they don't know that she's already mate with ao'nung.
i leave the rest to you, ma'dear. i hope it's not make you confused 😭😭
thank you, love your works🤍🤍🤍
Are You Jealous
summary: neteyam takes notice of the metkayina’s future tsa’hik who also happens to be ao’nung’s future mate. jealously seeps through ao’nung and y/n is there to clean it off him.
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You and Ao’nung promised yourself to each other years ago. It had always just been you and him, never leaving each other’s side. Growing so close to Ao’nung and his family you became close with Ronal to learn the ways of a future Tsa’hik. She adored you. She thought you were perfect for Ao’nung and knowing that you were one of the best healers this clan had ever seen it was out of the question for anyone but you to be future Tsa’hik.
It had become tradition between the Metkayina and the neighbouring clans to teach their future Tsa’hiks. To expand their knowledge outside of what just the clan knew to perfectly interpret Eywa’s will. You had been at a neighbouring clan for around seven eclipses and were set to head home the next morning. You missed your bed, your family but most of all you missed Ao’nung, you wanted to recount every experience you’ve had with him while you laid in his embrace.
Arriving back on the shoreline of your island you didn’t expect such a fuss to be made when you arrived.
“Y/N is back everyone!” Tsireya shouted to the large group she was with and ran up to where you were getting off your ilu to get back to your home.
Tsireya, Ao’nung and Roxto all came to greet you. Tsireya knocked you into a hug almost toppling you over. “Be careful!” Ao’nung sneered at his sister as he snaked a hand behind your back to give you a tight embrace. You could feel just how much he missed you by how his fingers dug into the flesh of your back.
Turning to the side you spotted four people standing behind Tsireya all waiting for her to explain who you were and why everyone was excited to see you.
But you were confused, they weren’t from any sea clans, they’re bodies were smaller, and their skin was a darker blue than the rest of yours. Tsireya noticed both groups confusion and chuckled slightly.
“Y/N these are the Sullys, they came from the forest for refuge and they’re adjusting amazingly well.” Ao’nung scoffed at this crossing his arms.
“Sullys this is Y/N, she just came back from our sister clan to learn more about being a Tsa’hik.” You waved to them as they all waved back to you. This was an odd addition you were not expecting to be there when you came back but you were not opposed.
You soon learnt all the names of the Sully kids. Neteyam, Lo’ak, Kiri and Tuk. They were all unique in different ways, but you seemed to spend more time with Neteyam and Kiri. Kiri was always with you as you developed a close bond with her but Neteyam? He followed you around like a lost child. He was just always there, and you accepted the fact.
“It wasn’t too different to the way we did things.” You were explaining your experience with your sister clan to Kiri and Neteyam. “I did learn quite a few more medicines and stuff of that sort. Better ways to heal the sick and keep my people healthy.”
“It must’ve been fascinating!” Kiri exclaimed, you noticed her enthusiasm for everything about nature, you could see her being so connected to Eywa it brough you both together.
It was hard to converse with such a piercing gaze dig into your side. You could feel Neteyam’s eyes burn into you. Still, you didn’t want to acknowledge the fact.
He was sure to understand that you were promised to someone else. Or maybe he didn’t care, either way you were sure to not feed into his infatuation of you.
“I could definitely teach you guys more about it!” Neteyams eyes widened in joy. The suggestion of spending time with you sparked his interest.
“Please do Y/N, it would be good to…learn…” Neteyam said brushing your shoulder with the tips of his fingers lightly. His skin against yours made you shudder, it wasn’t the same as when Ao’nung touched you.
You looked at him seeing an odd spark in his eyes, deciding against the better odds you decided it was just your fatigue and you were making things up.
But no, it wasn’t the fatigue that was making you see Neteyam’s action and from a far Ao’nung watched as his chest rose in jealously. He swore if that freak was to put another finger on you he’d cut each of his fingers off.
“Well meet me here tomorrow, I’ll teach you more about the plants and what they do.” You smiled at them both before heading back to your pod. Neteyam’s touch and Neteyam’s eyes lingered in your mind, something about them made your stomach turn, in the worse way possible.
Walking towards Ao’nung who resided in his family’s marui you saw his angry nature. The way his lips pursed, and his eyes furrowed. The way his breathing was fast and the way that as soon as you stood in front of him he ingulfed you into a desperate kiss.
His mouth was moving desperately, his hands roaming across your body. His eyes shut tight focusing on the sensation of his lips on yours. You weren’t against it, but you knew something was wrong.
Breaking from a kiss you caressed his cheek watching his angry stature dissipate. “What is wrong my love?”
“That forest boy.” He scowled getting angrier even thinking about the way his fingers glossed over your skin.
“Be calm and tell me what the problem is.”
Ao’nung groaned as he looked away from your gaze. He was so jealous, and he was embarrassed to say it. “He likes you. That freak is all up on you!”
Realization hitting you with Neteyam’s odd behaviour towards you. The lingering, the following, the touches. It was so obvious. Yet, you wanted to ignore it, so it didn’t end up with Neteyam being hurt and Ao’nung beating the ever-loving shit out of him.
“Oh is my Ao’nung jealous-”
“Shut up”
You pushed him lightly as you travelled your hand down his arms to grab his hands that were balled into fists. His grip released with you touch. He was totally undone by you, you were his biggest strength and weakness.
Sighing he sat down still holding onto your hand looking up to you. He was perfect, the way the setting sun reflected through his eyes made him look ethereal. How could he ever be jealous? You wanted nothing but him since you were born.
“Y/N can you please tell that stupid forest boy to leave you alone, go swim away and never return.” He was joking but the way he said it was so desperate it made you let out a giggle.
“How about you join me tomorrow when I teach them about some stuff I learnt, you can show him that we’re promised and promise me not to get jealous again. How about that?”
“I’d rather punch him.”
“Ao’nung.”
“Sorry….yes I’ll come.” Giggling at his manner you sat beside him resting a head on his shoulder.
He smiled at the way you found comfort on him. He was yours and you were his. No silly forest freak would get in the way of that.
“I love you Y/N.”
“I love you too.”
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authors note: thankyou so much for requesting! i hope you enjoyed. please request some other characters guys! i have many ao'nung fics in line!
#ao'nung oneshot#ao'nung x reader#aonung#aonung xreader#aonung x you#neteyam#tsireya#kiri#avatar the way of water#avatar oneshot#ao'nung fic#ao'nung fluff#avatar#ao'nung#avatar x reader#atwow#neteyam sully#neteyam x reader#ronal
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Monthly TV Guide, October 2024 Issue ft. Kamen Rider Gavv Cast Members (translation below)
Publication: August 23, 2024
Chinen Hidekazu x Hino Yusuke x Miyabe Nozomi
Chinen: The three of us have many scenes together, but even before filming began, we were able to go into the shoot with a mutual relationship.
Miyabe: That's right.
Hino: Hide would suddenly show up at my house and say, "Let's play a game."
Chinen: Hahaha! (laughs).
Hino: From the start, Hide was the first to take the lead in bringing the three of us closer together.
Chinen: I wanted us to get to know each other as quickly as possible, and to film in a condition where we could communicate. Because of that, we all exchanged contact info.
Hino: We exchanged LINEs on the day of our meeting, and from there, he immediately asked us out to a meal, which made me happy, and I think this led to better communication on set.
Miyabe: Even on set, Hide helps everyone around him feel at ease. He's calm, but he's also got a reliable side to him, and he also puts alot of thought into his role. He'll also say things to us like, "Let's try this part here," or "Let's practice alittle more," which has been extremely helpful.
Hino: I mean, he's reliable, or atleast he's trying to be reliable (laughs).
Chinen: Eh?!
Hino: That's what's so wonderful about you (laughs).
Chinen: Thank you (laughs). With this production, we've been taking on alot of different challenges, wouldn't you say?
Hino: That's right. First, It's not an easy experience to play the same role for a whole year, right? Because we have a year to work on it, I think there's a certain way to develop and immerse ourselves into it, and if we can do that, I think we can grow alot as actors, so I'm going to go all out.
Chinen: I also want to do my best with action. I've always practiced karate while in Okinawa, so I'd like to become an actor who can also do action. Even now, I'm learning one on one from everyone on the Action Team, and they teach me cool moves that I've sought after myself by saying, "I want to try this move."
Miyabe: I play the role of a flashy gyaru president, but it's the complete opposite of my actual self. Still, I also think it's alot of fun to play an opposite type of role like this, so I hope to continue to expand on that range and to be able to connect with it in the future.
Hino: Is it fun being a gyaru?
Miyabe: It's so much fun!
Hino: Somehow, you're more cheerful than you've been before.
Chinen: I really thought that! I thought that living with a gyaru mindset makes you cheerful, as well as the people around you. For the first time I thought about gyarus, and I thought that being a gyaru is great.
Miyabe: "Being a gyaru is great"! (laughs).
Chinen: I think I'm envious of that mindset…!
Hino: It's positive, isn't it?
Chinen: Yeah. I hope to be able to incorporate that kind of positivity into my own personality. _
-This is what I want to fight with!! Food & Tactics-
Chinen: I think liquid types would be strong. Like the carbonated kinds.
Hino: Shouldn't we limit this to sweets…?
Chinen: Alright then, it'd be konjac jelly! It'd be the type that jiggles and would absorb the opponent's attack. It could repel various things.
Miyabe: I see (laughs). I love plums, so by using it's sour power, it'd make the opponent lose it's strength.
Chinen: That might be the most unpleasant thing for the opponent's side. I don't think I'd be able to keep my eyes open (laughs).
Hino: Ah, that could happen!
Miyabe: In that case, it'd be something like plum candy or plum tablets!
Hino: I'd use experimental types. It'd be like, I put powder 1 and powder 2 together and then mix them.
Chinen: I see!
Hino: That's how I'd restrain my opponent.
Miyabe: It sounds like it would take alot of time and effort to mix (laughs).
Chinen: Would you tell the enemy, "Hold on a sec" (laughs).
Hino: We'd need to establish an unspoken rule that they don't attack during that time (laughs).
#kamen rider gavv#kamen rider#shouma stomach#shouma inoue#inoue shouma#inoue shoma#karakida hanto#hanto karakida#my scans#my translation#sachika amane#amane sachika#hidekazu chinen#chinen hidekazu#yusuke hino#hino yusuke#various tv japan#tokusatsu#toku cast
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Jenny Odell: I sometimes feel that in an individualistic culture, people get freaked out by the idea of being tied down or responsible for anything. Thinking about a gift economy, they might say, “I want the gift part but not the accountability part.” Lately, I’ve been volunteering in this native plant restoration group, and one of the most surprising parts has been how enlivening it is to help keep something else alive (I’ve never had a garden before). Sometimes I truly can’t tell whether I’m giving or getting. What are some ways that you see participation in a gift economy changing the participant’s sense of herself and her place in a network? In other words, is participation itself part of the gift?
RK: Yes. Exactly. Participation is part of the gift, where giving and getting meld into one another. A garden teaches you that every day. Gifts and responsibilities are always coupled to each other.
Of course, you’re right that given our hyper-individualistic culture, many people are not eager to embrace responsibility. Its often confounded, I think with the notion of “obligation”. Obligation feels to me like an involuntary demand on our time and energy, imposed from outside without the assurance that you’ll benefit in return. I’m sometimes reluctant about that, too. But, responsibility is an invitation to respond to need, an opening to reciprocity in which the benefits flow both ways. The benefits of participation in a gift economy are not only flowing to the gift recipient but the giver as well. Working on your restoration project, or any other gift exchange strengthens your own sense of agency, doesn’t it? It awakens care and compassion, builds relationship and nurtures your own identity as a person of capacity, of having enough abundance in your life that you can share it. I think it contributes to a sense of purpose, which we know is good medicine. It reminds you that you matter, that you’re part of something. That’s a big reward.
I find that some of the times that I feel most fully alive are in experiences of shared physical work in community with others. Like an old-time husking bee or shared planting. We’ve lost so many of the opportunities for that and gift economies provide the opportunity to work in common, to satisfy the need for belonging. And when that work is on the land and the benefits flow into our neighborhood of many species, the benefits are multiplied beyond the boundaries of ourselves.
JO: There is a really beautiful analogy you draw between the economy of nature and the human gift economy. Asking what in the gift economy functions as the “sun”–the constantly replenishing source of energy–you speculate: “Maybe it is love.” Reading this, it occurred to me how love is in essence a surplus, the force that gets things going. Could you speak more to the emotional and practical role that things like love and gratitude play in a gift economy? And how do they change the way we see “resources”?
RK: The fundamental currency of a gift economy, is relationship, not money. I suppose it’s what some people call “social capital”, but I’m not fond of that term. Participation in a gift economy could create a whole continuum of relationships, from the warmth of being cared for or an expanded sense of justice to just plain neighborliness. This can create a sense of security because mutual reliance grows from gift exchange. There is a sense of satisfaction in being able to give, and a sense of kinship in being able to receive, when we share the mutual acknowledgment of human vulnerability. For me, that continuum of relationships includes the possibility of a currency of love and gratitude that motivates the gift exchange, which is the source of the flow, between people and between people and the earth as well.
Gift-giving is a way of saying “I see you.” I see what you need and I see what I have to share. My well-being is tied to yours and yours to mine. It develops a trust that when I am in need, there will be abundance shared with me. The giver and the recipient are honored at the same time. That seems a lot like love to me.
Robin Wall Kimmerer, interviewed by Jenny Odell, Gift Thinking. [emphasis added]
#this is a fantastic interview im so excited for RWK's new book#robin wall kimmerer#jenny odell#ecology#world healing#readings#mine#words
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Chaos and Consistency
I've been thinking about why Carmy chose a career in fine dining in the first place. Obviously there are the reasons we're told in the show:
Cooking was a source of connection between Carmy and his family, particularly with his brother/surrogate father, Mikey (recall the first scene of 1x06 Ceres).
Carmy also knew that he wanted to be chef from a young age (recall 3x02 Next and the convo between Carmy and Chi Chi, and 3x06 Napkins and the convo between Tina and Mikey about Carmy's purpose).
Carmy's family is well connected in the restaurant industry: his parents owned their own restaurant (The Beef) and his cousin Michelle owns restaurants too (recall Michelle and Carmy's sidebar in 2x06 Fishes). Carmy is given the opportunity to work in these places and gain valuable experience that opens up doors for him to go onto work elsewhere in the industry.
In addition to the above, I think Carmy chose and stayed in professional kitchens as a response to the chaos he grew up in, which was largely the result of his absent father and abusive mother. I'll explain my reasoning for this conclusion below.
Chaos
The chaos that would have been present in Carmy's childhood is never as clearly illustrated in the show as it is in 2x06 Fishes. The emotional powder keg that is his mother, Donna Berzatto, propels the action in that episode, whether its via her constant yelling at the people around her, the repeated dinging of her kitchen timers or the multiple pots and trays of food she has going that simmer and bubble until everything boils over at the end of the episode with Donna purposely crashing her car through the family living room:
Its clear that in Donna's house, chaos reigned. She was erratic, unpredictable and inconsistent as a parent. She also nursed an alcohol addiction and left her children feeling afraid. Recall 1x08 Ice Chips and Natalie's disclosure to Donna about the former's fears for her unborn daughter:
Natalie: Mom, I don't want her scared like I was scared.
Donna: I scared you?
Natalie: You scared all of us.
While its indicated on the show that Carmy's father left the family when Carmy was young, its also implied that he too behaved erratically and suffered from multiple addictions. In 1x04 Dogs, Cicero tells Carmy that the last time he spoke with Carmy's father, they had fought about the latter's drug and alcohol use as well as gambling issues. Cicero also discloses to Carmy that his dad couldn't settle on a job and had a new career "every ten minutes."
Cicero's chat with Carmy along with what we know of Carmy's father from Mikey and Donna (i.e. that he abandoned his family leaving his eldest son to step into the trap role of "man of the house", that he was an unsupportive partner only being present for the birth of one of his three children - Carmen's - and while he was at the hospital, did everything BUT support his wife through her labour), paints a picture of a volatile and incredibly unreliable person.
Consistency in childhood
One of the most important things that caregivers can provide children is consistency in their parenting. This usually takes the form of regular routines for your child and as much predictability as possible in your reactions and behaviour.
Routines and predictability give children a sense of safety as they absorb the world around them. Consistent parenting gives kids the space to learn what to expect in any given situation, particularly in relation to cause and effect. It teaches them about limits: physical and behavioural, because kids can rely on their parents to model and guide them as to what is acceptable in both regards. Repetition through routine has a big role to play in children's learning (as kids - and adults alike - learn new skills through repetition). Importantly, the security that children feel due to consistent parenting also gives them the confidence to take risks and try new things. And novel experiences expand children's knowledge bases and skill sets.
Think about it: if you are in an unpredictable situation with lots of things changing or out of your control around you, would you feel comfortable doing something totally out of the box that you have no experience in? Probably not.
Where a child experiences parenting that is inconsistent or unpredictable, this has been found to lead to a number of different, harmful outcomes for that child, including but not limited to:
low self-confidence
anxiety
depression
attachment issues
emotional dysregulation
Its clear that the Berzatto kids grew up in a home where chaos and a fair measure of dysfunction dominated. Consistency was rare and when it did occur, it was likely to have involved the elder Berzatto children, Mikey and Natalie, stepping into provide that security for each other and their youngest sibling, Carmen.
Throughout The Bear, we've seen multiple examples of the impact of that chaos and dysfunction on Carmy as an adult. Those impacts include Carmy's various attempts at asserting control over his life (for example, his spiral in 1x07 The Review or his obsessive focus on perfection, most dramatically highlighted in season 3). Another example is the firm boundary he's able to set with his volatile mother. Of all three of Donna's kids, Carmy is the one who's maintained the widest distance from her: its been established by those working on the show that by the end of season 3, Carmy hasn't seen Donna since the events of 2x06 Fishes (which took place roughly 5-6 years ago).
Carmy is also the only Berzatto child whom we see clearly articulate that at least one of his parents was chaotic. He's also the first Berzatto child that we hear name the antidote to chaos: consistency. Recall the conversation between Carmy and Nat in 1x06 Ceres:
Natalie: Plus, we never spend any real time together. This place is eating you alive.
Carmen: You always blame this place.
Natalie: What do you mean?
Carmen: I mean, you blame the restaurant. Alright, you don't blame Mom. You don't blame Mikey.
Natalie: How can I not blame this place? I just cleaned up shot-out glass, and now, I'm covered in carbon. All of our time, money, work, gets sucked up into this place. The only thing we get back is chaos, resentment. Its bullshit.
Carmen: Sounds like Mom.
Natalie: I'm serious.
Carmen: I'm serious.
Natalie: I just want things to be calm. I just want things to be on solid ground. I want things to feel...
Carmen: Consistent.
Natalie: Yeah. Consistent.
Carmen: Yeah. That's totally reasonable.
While Natalie identifies The Beef as the source of the chaos that plagues her family, Carmy insists that that chaos rests at the feet of their mother, Donna. It is here in this conversation, that we can see a difference in approach between Carmy and Nat when it comes to relationships. Natalie is quicker to give her family members grace (recall her admission in 1x06 Ceres that she knew it was a bad idea to co-sign with Mikey for ownership of The Beef but did it anyway; also recall 3x08 Ice Chips and her reaching out to Donna to help her through labour, despite all of her trauma directly caused by her mother) while Carmy has shown that he will internalise sleights (real and perceived) and will cut people off as a result - though we know how deeply feeling the man is, I imagine the cutting off would be experienced as akin to dismemberment for him. Recall his monologue in 1x08 Braciole and his description of how Mikey made him feel as they grew apart:
Carmen: He stopped letting me into the restaurant, couple years ago. He just cut me off, cold. And that...that hurt, you know. And I think that just, that flicked a switch in me, where I was like, okay, fuck you, watch this. And because we had this connection through food, and he had made me feel so rejected, and lame, and shitty, and uncool, I made this plan where I was going to work in all the best restaurants in the world.
Also recall the entire walk-in blowout between Carmy and Richie in 2x10 The Bear after Richie compared Carmy to his mother, Donna (I'll just include an excerpt below because, honestly, I hate rewatching this fight):
Richie: Where were you when I fuckin' put your brother in the ground you selfish piece of shit?
Carmen: You know what? You're-you're obsessed with my family. That's what you are. You fuckin'...
Richie: I'm fucking obsessed with you.
Carmen: You're a fucking leech.
Richie: I'm obsessed with you.
Carmen: You fucking leech.
Richie: Yeah.
Carmen: I should've cut you out!
Richie: I fuckin' love you!
Carmen: I should've fuckin' cut you the fuck out!
Above: The line that, in my view, blew up Carmy and Richie's relationship at the end of season 2 and from which it still hasn't recovered by the end of season 3. Screenshot from 2x10 The Bear.
Despite Carmy and Nat's different approaches to their relationships, the conversation between them in 1x06 Ceres shows they do have something in common when it comes to responding to the chaos in their lives: a desire for consistency.
Striving for consistency as adults
Natalie and Carmy go about achieving their goal of consistency in different ways. Nat has sought it out and found it in her partner and father of her daughter, my beloved Pete. The man is the definition of an unproblematic king: see this post and this post by @thegirlwhowatchedeverything for the evidence). Natalie has also got a head for accounting and project management. Its hard to be good at that stuff without being consistent and diligent. She's actually a bit of a jack of all trades: she can lecture a plumber on how to fix a toilet (recall her phone call about The Beef's possessed toilet in 2x02 Pasta), run FOH for The Bear and interference with The Bear's main investor, Uncle Jimmy. For Natalie, consistency means making sure her home life is safe and secure. It means being practical and reliably available to check in and help others, even to her own detriment ("if someone feels sick, I start to feel sick").
In contrast, Carmy spends little to no time on building a secure home life for himself. When he does partner up, its with a woman wearing a bullet necklace, who talks about almost committing manslaughter at work and who mirrors his abusive mother. Carmy's home itself is pretty barren and he appears to be living out of boxes. He's still storing his books in piles on the floor by the time we hit the penultimate episode of the series thus far (3x09). Its also clearly established that Carmy is not practical (recall Sydney and Nat's joint observation in 2x01 Beef: "Your math is fucked" lmao), and he's often not reliable (recall episodes 2x03 through to 2x10 when he flakes on The Beef's renovation repeatedly).
The primary way Carmy has sought consistency in his life has been through his work as a chef.
In the course of researching and drafting You love taking care of people: Love in the Time of Late Stage Capitalism, it became very clear to me just how regimented the back of house of commercial kitchens aspires to be. The creation and implementation of the French Brigade system is one way that the restaurant industry tries to imbue order into a kitchen setting. The French became synonymous with fine dining and restaurants because, in large part, of their involvement in systematising the kitchen in order to scale service and increase the number of patrons that could be fed.
That systematisation and desire for order, consistency and control in restaurants is reiterated repeatedly in The Bear. Recall the following bits of dialogue from throughout the show:
1x02 Hands
Marcus: [cleaning BOH] Why am I using a toothbrush?
Carmen: Its about consistency and being consistent. Can't operate at a higher level without consistency.
1x08 Braciole
Carmen: And the more he wouldn't respond, and the more our relationship kind of strained, the deeper into this I went and the better I got. And the more people I cut out, the quieter my life got. And the routine of the kitchen was so consistent, and exacting, and busy, and hard, and alive, and I lost track of time and he died.
3x10 Forever
Will Guidara: I was just, like, immediately obsessed with the controlled chaos. Like, the orchestrated frenzy. [...] And then you get to, like, be the conductor of it all.
We also saw visuals throughout the show of the control asserted in restaurants, particularly in BOH. Recall Carmy scrubbing floors by hand, the cold sterility and precision in the Empire kitchen, and the well-oiled cleaning machine that is The Bear crew in 3x03 Doors:
Note how different the above restaurant kitchens are to the state of the kitchen in the Berzatto house - how orderly and clean. While I'm sure these kitchens can reach epic levels of mess when staff are in the middle of service, through his experiences as a chef Carmy would have seen time and time again a system - as fucked as it was - to get that mess under control. In the Berzatto house, there was no system - at least no reliable one - that could reign in the chaos left in the wake of Donna and her ex-partner.
We know Carmy came back to The Beef to try and fix his family, as he tells us in 1x08 Braciole. But what if Carmy has been trying to fix his family with every job he's taken as a chef? What if he is using - either consciously but more likely unconsciously - his experience in each kitchen he's been in as an opportunity to perform control and consistency in the way he wishes he was able to have done at home, with his mother and with Mikey?
Carmy may not be able to fix people, but he knows restaurants. He’s had experience in wrangling, to varying degrees, the chaos of a kitchen into some semblance of order. And if he can impose that order, that consistency in one context, maybe he can do it in another. What Carmy will need to learn is that consistency in terms of a product (e.g. a clean kitchen every night or immaculately plated dishes each service) and consistency in terms of relationships are two different things. You can strive for consistent products but destroy all your relationships in the pursuit of them. Conversely, if you strive for consistency in your relationships, you may not always make consistent products (and quite frankly, that's OK - is a perfectly plated agnolotti dish worth Carmy's relationship with Tina? Is driving Syd to a panic attack worth Carmy's pursuit of a star? I think not on both counts).
Consistency as peace: Sydney
The reason why Sydney makes Carmy better at his job is because unlike him, she is a chef who has practically mastered both forms of consistency. She understands what consistency of product means in the realm of the restaurant industry and can execute to that standard (she may not be as experienced as Carmy in this regard but she's more than capable).
Sydney is also incredibly adept at relationship-building and the consistency required for this. In regards to her relationships, Sydney is consistent to a fault, likely due to the fact that the parent who raised her for most of her life - Emmanuel Adamu - was also a consistent and loving father. He modelled steady, unwavering love for his daughter and Sydney exudes this in turn.
For me, the most clear manifestation of Sydney's consistent love and care is in how she mentors the staff at The Beef and The Bear. Unlike Carmy, she does not visit the trauma she has been subjected to (which we understand has largely occurred in kitchens through her work as a chef) on her peers. Sydney does not displace or blow her trauma through others. The one time she comes the closest to doing so is in 1x07 The Review. However, the experience is such a foul one for Sydney that she quits her job because of it (much to Carmy's dismay). And as we all know, she returns to The Beef and then goes onto run interference between Carmy and the rest of The Bear crew in season 3, protecting the crew so that don't get in Carmy's line of fire.
Above: Sydney physically and emotionally protecting Tina from Carmy's emotional dysregulation in 3x03 Doors.
Like Nat, Sydney is reliable and practical. Recall the below non-exhaustive list of examples:
how Sydney took control of lunch service at The Beef in 1x05 Sheridan after the restaurant loses power and gas (including by building an entire grill from found construction materials - what?!);
how Sydney single-handedly oversaw much of The Beef's transformation into The Bear in season 2 while Carmy was out numbing himself with Claire;
how after the birth of Nat's baby, Sydney makes a shit tonne of food for Nat and Pete, including Nat's favourite lasagne.
Above: Sydney and Tina building an outdoor kitchen in 1x05 Sheridan
Sydney is also able to establish firm boundaries with Carmy ("You are an excellent chef. You are also a piece of shit.", "If this is going to work the way that, I think, we both want it to work, we need to try to listen to each other.", "I'm not your fucking babysitter") and pushes Carmy to be consistent in his relationships. Recall 3x01 Tomorrow and her gentle insistence that he call Richie after their walk-in blow up.
Carmy recognises all of this pretty quickly with Sydney, making her his sous chef by the third episode of the series ("I will dial business. You are everything else.") and offering her part ownership of The Bear by 3x02 Next. Whether Syd is going to accept Carmy's offer is another question and one that I suspect is going to heavily depend on Carmy's ability to repair and practice loving consistency in his relationships next season.
I think key to this, is going to be a realisation on Carmy's part that he cannot treat consistency in relationships like he does consistency in the restaurant or creating a dish. He can't just "be square with everything [...] and everyone" or "make it good [by filtering] out the bad" like he described in 3x07 Legacy.
That description by Carmy of how he wants to be remembered - his legacy - still reads to me like the description of a product. That Carmy wants to be remembered for creating something panic-less and anxiety-free while giving little attention to how he might go about actually creating the thing in the first place: the consistent work that needs to be done in relationships to make sure that people aren't panicking and aren't anxious. Contrast this with Marcus' desire for his legacy:
Marcus: I kept my chin up. Listened and learned. I did honest work. Fun to be around. And an excellent emergency contact.
Marcus' legacy is all about relationships and process. He, like Sydney, knows that at the end of the day, the end product - his legacy - will not be a thing. It will be the sum total of everything: what he made through honest work but more importantly how he engaged with others: how he listened and learned, was fun to be around, and was reliable enough to be an excellent emergency contact. Key to all of this, is his consistency (which Marcus models from the first episode of The Bear and is probably why he is held so dear by Carmy as well). I’ve no doubt that Marcus’ consistency and how he treats people was modelled for him by his primary caregiver, his mother Angela Brooks. This is based on Marcus’ eulogy for Angela in 3x03 Doors.
Marcus: She loved everyone. I think you can tell 'cause there's so many people here. I always felt loved. It didn't matter what was going on or if I was in trouble or whatever. I knew she was listening. And she knew I was listening too.
This is essentially, the core of consistent parenting. Ensuring that a child feels loved, even when things are hard. Its also the core to consistent relationships throughout one's life. And it depends entirely on people and how we handle our connections to each other.
Indeed, what Carmy needs to realise could also be put another way, as it was by Chef Terry in 3x10 Forever:
Andrea Terry: I think what I've learned over the years in all the places I've worked, is people don't remember the food. [...] Its the people that they remember.
Tagging in case you're interested in more of my rambles but as always, I'm interested in chatting about this stuff with whoever wants to (tagged or not!):
@currymanganese @vacationship @thoughtfulchaos773 @moodyeucalyptus @fresaton @ciaomarie @hwere @tvfantic87 @freedelusionshere @mitocamdria @ambeauty @angelica4equity @anxietycroissant @turbulenthandholding @brokenwinebox @devisrina @alwaysrunningoutoftime
#the bear#the bear fx#the bear hulu#sydcarmy#sydney adamu#carmen berzatto#the bear meta#the bear season 3#marcus brooks#angela brooks#carmy x sydney#natalie berzatto#sydney x carmy#donna berzatto#mikey berzatto#carmy berzatto
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inextricable p3 Sasuke xFem!Uchiha!Reader)
a/n: thank you guys for your patience in waiting on this last part! I will be releasing the angst ending later today and will link it to this post for convenience later!! i also have to thank you for voting in how this part should turn out and overall even reading these!! this has by far been my favorite series and makes me want to do more in the future! also also, I was thinking about making this expandable if I get more requests, so you can request specific moments for the Uchiha Princess like Kakashi finding out she's pregnant or more on Sasuke and Y/N's stay in the Sand!
cw: violence, death, fighting, mentions of sex nothing crazy, pregnancy, etc. not proofread so shoot me
wc: 17, 212
part one // part two
He was thinking about you. He wondered what you would think if you could see him like this, teeming with rage and anguish. Ever since he was told about the truth, since he shared that truth with you, he hasn’t been able to stop the rage brewing inside him. He watched his brother die, he helped kill him. He endured three days worth of suffering in his brother’s genjutsu, watching helplessly as his parents died over and over. His brain was so damaged when they found him, it took a Tsunade miracle to piece him back together. He lost his best friend, separated in order for him to foster this hatred in order to carry out this revenge. He has done what his brother wanted: he has activated his mangekyo and stalked the man with the most to do with assigning Itachi this mission. Yet still, he yearns for your company. He wants you to see the man that wrecked your life too. He wants to help get your revenge too. But you’ve always been so much calmer, he guesses that was Kakashi’s influence. Would you join him in this crusade? No. You’ve tried to talk him off the ledge several times, you would be appalled with his behavior. That realization hurts a little bit, hurts in a different way than everything else. Itachi engineered him to be a being of hate, knowing that someone would stop him from going too far. Does he think Kakashi or Naruto have the capability? Did Itachi prepare for that person to be you?
He knows that the newly-recognized Hokage Danzo will be in the Land of Iron, that all five kage would be in fact. He didn’t initially plan on a visit to the Leaf, but the opportunity to see you again weighed heavily on him. He just wanted a chance to talk to you in person. To try and convince you one last time to join his revenge tour. He could teach you more and keep you safer than Kakashi can. You are the last of the Uchiha, you are inextricably bound to him. He needs you, this is meant to be a journey for two. You would come to him this time, he’s sure. You may disagree with his methods, but he remembers you swearing your allegiance to him, telling him with big teary eyes how much you missed him. Surely that would outweigh any anger you have. That’s why he sent Madara ahead to scope you out in the Leaf, to make sure you were safe and well cared for. So imagine the surprise, the pride, the wide amalgamation of anxiety and something close to fear that Sasuke experiences whenever Madara comes back to report the antithesis of what he had expected.
“The Sharingan Princess is not in the Leaf.”
Sasuke’s head whipped toward the masked man. “What? Not in the Leaf? Where is she?” He asks in rapid succession, getting to his feet.
Madara held his hands up in uncertainty. “Who’s to say? She seems to be cloaking her chakra very cleverly. She’s been listed as a deserter in the Bingo Books.”
Sasuke narrows his eyes in confusion, his mind reeling. He couldn’t figure out what would make you leave so suddenly, he hadn’t had the chance to speak with you in months, too focused on his plans. Had you become so worried you came to look for him? “Were you able to find out why she left?” He asks in more of a statement, expecting the man to provide more information.
You could hear the smile in the masked man’s deep voice. “Pain attacked the Leaf. It seems many died in the initial attack, including your lady's father. Naruto Uzumaki was able to get Nagato to reno-rebirth them all, but it seems our Green Goddess of the Leaf left before that happened. They haven’t seen her since. Naruto Uzumaki keeps making efforts to find her, no luck. It’s believed that Y/N Uchiha has obtained the Mangekyo Sharingan with an ability similar to Shisui’s dangerous Kotoamatsukami.”
Sasuke’s rendered speechless. You’ve been on the run for several months, with Mangekyo powers and with a renewed sense of hatred? He had to find you. His mission to the Iron seemed incomplete now, and he couldn’t risk the Leaf finding you first. He glanced at the other members of his team and sighed.
“We have to find her first.”
Madara chuckled. “No need. It seems the Last Uchiha Princess was searching for you, and found you indeed.” He says, stepping aside to reveal your form. Time slowed to a stop, he swears. Your hair had returned to its full black, all the traces of dye long gone. The moon’s beams gave you an angelic glow. Your shinobi headband was gone .Two swords crisscrossed in sheaths on your back. Your eyes shined the color of blood, the symbol of your Mangekyo made his lips spread into a grin. You were beautiful, just as he knew you would be from his crows over their many visits. Revenge and anger flowed through you freely, and he thought that looked good on you.
A girl with bright red hair and eyes stepped forward with her arms crossed. She looked at you with malice. Your eyes snapped to her. “Whatever you’re thinking about saying to me, don’t.”
Sasuke nearly chuckles. Your presence was like medicine, and he was relieved to know your ferocity remained intact.
Karin frowned at your words, and the shark-featured boy next to her giggled lightly. “Oh don’t mind her, Y/N,” He says, as if you’re old friends, “She’s probably just wondering how you found us.”
“I could detect Sasuke’s chakra even if he repressed it to zero.” You reply flatly. “Plus, I ran into this guy and followed him back up here.” You add, still eyeing the girl analyzing you. Her eyes flickered back to Sasuke, who was watching you carefully. You smirk at her, tracking her eyes. “Hey, girl.” You chuckle, the smile on your face vicious, eyes crazy. “Don’t try it.” You say as sweetly as you can manage, clapping her on the shoulder and moving towards your old friend.
She frowns, the smile on Sasuke’s face as you come closer was unmistakable mostly because he had never smiled so widely before. Suigetsu elbows her, distracting her from watching your every move.
Your smile wasn’t missable either, and you did have to repress the urge to wrap your arms around him and cry out in relief. However, given the reputation you’ve both acquired, it would be in bad taste. It’s been years, four to be exact, since you last laid eyes on him. He’s perfect, tall and well-built. Your cheeks grow warmer as you realize just how beautiful he has grown. It’s also like no time has passed, his chakra presence putting your nervous heart at ease. He holds his hand out with a small half-smile. You never look away from his eyes as you gently place your palm in his. You turn your eyes off, returning his tiny grin. The moment felt intimate despite all the other people gathered in the hideout. The truth was the two of you had been imagining this moment for years, wondering when you’d find yourselves together again. He looked at you gently, with all the love left in his mangled dark heart. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too.” You say plainly, you’re both walking a fine line of collapsing into all your emotions and showing none at all. You felt vulnerable, and in front of Sasuke that was alright, but in front of all these new and dangerous Akatsuki members, you wanted to look strong. Because you are, the months that passed proved fruitful for your talents.
“I’m glad you’re okay.” He adds after, his thumb stroking the back of your hand mindlessly.
“It’s good to see you safe.” You say, essentially the same message. We’re alive and back together.
He makes a nervous chuckle of some sort. He thought it was interesting that you considered him safe, he was a rogue nin and now you were too. “I’m..sorry. About Kakashi.”
Your grip on his hand loosened momentarily. The memory of his death flashes before your eyes and you're forcing yourself to smile gratefully. “I appreciate it…it truly was the last straw.”
“Do you think he would support you?” Sasuke asks, more out of own curiosity since he knows that Kakashi is alive. He feared you finding this information out, would you flock back to him?
You nod. “Kakashi specifically asked me to leave the village just before he was killed. I have to believe that he knew I would come to you.” You answer truthfully, able to talk yourself into believing that your adoptive father’s support and love for you could never waver.
He hums at your response. Perhaps you were right, it was a calculated risk that the Sensei took on his deathbed. It was desperate, but it made sense. Kakashi knows you well, he knew the craving for revenge that brewed in your heart and he wanted you to satiate it safely. Maybe he knew that the other Uchiha would never hurt you, maybe he just hoped that was the case. Either way, Kakashi would be stupid to think you wouldn’t search for the only other person that mattered to you.
“How did you find my chakra?”
You smirk again, proud of yourself. “I’ve told you, dear Sasuke, I’m very strong.”
He matches your expression, knowing that with his Mangekyo where it was as of now, you were probably just as prodigious as him. “I know you’re powerful, Y/N. I want to know the specifics.”
“I have insane chakra control and tracking abilities from my senseis.” You say, moving your bangs to show him the seal on your forehead. “I found an old friend of yours…name’s Kabuto.” You share with a shrug, watching Sasuke raise his eyebrow in interest. “He told me about Danzo...the man that ruined our lives. Apparently there’s a Kage Summit in the Iron, I knew you’d be around here somewhere. I could sense all the chakra pooling and then I saw Madara standing down there, almost like he knew I was coming.”
“Interesting indeed, I wonder why Kabuto felt inclined to help you.” He says, truly just wondering out loud.
“Same reason anyone does, power. He’ll be an issue later.”
Sasuke is markedly impressed. You had a variety of different talents and abilities, and though you may never be as strong as he was, he doubts many could ever be as strong as you are. And for a time, you were inarguably stronger. He was glad he never sparred with you. Your prowess in most fields made you borderline invincible. Perhaps Kakashi was no slouch after all.
“You’ve unlocked your Mangekyo.” He states, but his brow is raised like he wants you to add further comment.
You nod, hand still in his warm one, eyes still locked. “Kakashi’s death.”
He nods, the intensity of his gaze makes you feel like a precious jewel under his microscope. “I see. Your abilities?”
“Similar to Shisui’s. I don’t have full blown mind control, but I can move the body and speak with the mouth. They usually don’t remember anything that happens.” You reply with a broad grin, now this was something you definitely were proud of. "My other eye lets me cast my jutsu effects on others. So if I put someone in a genjutsu, they see my delayed sense on me and whoever I touch."
Once again he has to fight a chuckle. It felt weird, the odd rhythm of his heart as he looked at you with such fondness unfamiliar to everyone else. The other Akatsuki decided to give you some time to catch up, much to Karin’s dismay. They went to make preparations for their short journey into the Iron. This left the two of you standing alone in a cliffside cave, staring at each other in hopes it said everything you wanted to say.
“Have you performed a susano’o yet?” He wonders where the limits of your expertise were without Kakashi there to guide you.
You shake your head. “I haven’t needed to, you know how it goes.”
He nods. “That’s good, but you’ll need it soon.” He says with a hint of his familiar arrogance.
It makes you smile this time though, and you nod in agreement. “Alright, noted.” You hum, your smile so warm and genuine that it’s hard for him to imagine you as you were when you entered the cave. He takes time to admire your features, the arch of your brow and the pink dusting your cheeks. He notices the stress lines forming under your eyes, which makes him frown. But mostly he notices the purple headband on top of your dark hair and the purple earrings you wear, complete with purple bracelets. It was interesting, your clothes all black, he felt the need to comment his thoughts.
“I thought I was purple and you were green?” He asks, the ode to childhood seemingly out of place given your current conversation of power.
You touch the headband with your free hand, almost like you knew that’s why he said anything at all. “Oh. I guess I was. I just like the familiarity of purple.”
The sentiment in your voice hits him like a ton of bricks. He had noticed the headband before, thinking it was some sort of reminder of him. But it ran much deeper than that, the headband was your prized possession. It gave you lines to both Sasuke and Kakashi, made you feel close to them. You needed no reminder of him, you needed a connection. He thinks of the way his chest tightened every time he saw something in the same deep green of your tricycle, the same shade of your chakra, the bright lime. It put your face in his mind each time it happened. His hand squeezes yours, suddenly refocused on the lack of a normal childhood he had, you had, what you two could have had together.
“We’ll kill him. For Itachi, for Shisui.”
You nod. “For our parents, for the entire clan.”
Naruto slams his fist on the wall, clearly frustrated and guilty. He can’t find you. He can’t find Sasuke, though, even he is smart enough to assume you two are together. Losing Sasuke crushed him. He loved him like his own brother, even though he never really knew how that felt. He saw Sasuke’s strength and wanted to surpass it, make a name for himself and become Hokage. But how could he do that if he can’t protect the people he loves? Losing you was a devastating blow. You were family, his love for you hard to quantify. You were the sunshine of Konoha, how could you leave?
Kakashi insists it’s his fault, though it’s easy to see his grief wearing on him. He told you to leave the village. At that point, he was scared for your life. He just wanted you to get away, preferably finding Naruto. He should have been smarter than that, but in that moment of weakness he’s able to admit he thought about the possibility of you going to Sasuke. He wasn’t angry, nor would he say he’s necessarily disappointed. It’s hard to put a name on this feeling, other than guilt. He’s sad, and he’s worried about what this means for the future, but he knows if you were here right now he would sigh with relief and hug you close.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself, Naruto.” Kakashi breathes, trying to hold tightly to the students he had left. He can see how this weighs heavily on the young man, his face tightened up as he tried not to scream and cry.
“My friends! What have I learned if I can’t even keep my friends in the village?!”
“It has nothing to do with you, Naruto..” Kakashi says in comfort, his own heart panging at the sentiment. What kind of Dad am I if I can’t keep her in the village? “They…have their own troubles to deal with. In time, we will get them back. I don’t think he’ll hurt her.” Kakashi adds, hoping to ease some of Naruto’s worries.
The blond widens his eyes, looking at the last teammate. “He’s tried to kill Sakura twice!”
“He won’t.” Kakashi repeats, more sternly this time, trying to convey a message behind the simple statement. He was trying to say, ‘Yeah, well, Sakura isn’t his childhood friend and last lady Uchiha either. She doesn’t matter to him the same way Y/N does.’
Naruto’s lips tightened in a thin line, seemingly dissatisfied with Kakashi’s urgency. “Aren’t you worried sick? She’s an enemy of the village now!”
This was true, as a deserter there were no exceptions. Classified as a SS threat, there was nothing he could do to lower your profile now. All you had were enemies, in a way, Kakashi was hoping you did make it to Sasuke. He tried to sway Tsunade, explaining that he told you to leave, but it was no use. The Lady Hokage was visibly upset by this as well, a mentor to you in your teenage years. He knew it would take work, but he knew he could get you admitted back into the village after some time. Even if you had to serve a small sentence, it would be better than living as a rogue nin for all your days. He only wished there was a way to find you, but you knew how to hide. He had taught you. And you didn’t even know he was alive, if only he could talk to you.
“Of course I’m worried about her future, but I’m not worried about her safety at the moment. It would be wiser to come up with some sort of plan.”
“Go on, take it.” Your best friend says, holding out a red crane fashioned from folded paper. He had made you all kinds of things, a paper purple rose, a gray elephant, an orange cat. He never looked you in the eye when he handed you the little trinket, almost like he was embarrassed.
You smile softly, gently taking the bird from him and inspecting it. He really was quite good at origami, and you wondered when he learned how to do this. “Thank you Sasuke.”
“Mm.” He grunts in acknowledgement, fingers busy working on yet another paper craft.
“I wish I knew how to make you something, I feel so useless over here.” You chuckle, setting the crane down next to his other creations.
He sighed, like it was a dumb thing to say. “You are giving me something.”
You hum in amusement, thinking about what he could mean. You two rarely spoke in lengthy flows, much of your communication was non-verbal or through a system of subtle noises. “I’m stumped.”
He looks into your eyes this time, and slides his latest design across the mountain-side hideout floor.You arch your brow and notice the light shade of pink dusting his cheeks and nose bridge. You look down at his symbol of affection, a green paper heart under your fingers.
“You came to me, that’s quite the gift.”
It’s your turn to heat up. You knew you couldn’t tease him like your first instinct is to, since he’s being so vulnerable, but it also made you feel a tad exposed. “You have a point there.” You hum, deciding to combine both approaches. “Does this mean this qualifies as the date you said you would take me on when you saw me again?”
It’s no wonder that neither of you are well versed in the language of feelings and human emotion. All you knew was that Sasuke meant more to you than anyone in the world.
A couple beats of silence pass, and he hums in approval. “Yes.”
The three of you stand on the bridge, carefully watching as Danzo Shimura unravels the heavy bandaging around his arm. When he drops the gauze, Karin gasps. His right arm was riddled with the sharingan of your dead clan. Your eyes narrow in anger, the pit in your stomach impossible to ignore. These are the deep seeds of hatred, and you are letting them grow. Sasuke’s eyes widen and then squint in disgust, the stare in his eyes as dark as they come.
His regular sharingan analyzed the mutative arm his enemy possessed, and with a menacing tone he asked, “How did you get those eyes in your right arm?”
Danzo looked unbothered, the eye visible to his challengers closed, the other side bandaged up in similar fashion to his arm. It made you feel as if he were hiding more of your clan’s eyes under there. You searched to find Shisui’s, determined to take it back, but you couldn’t see it easily. That was to be expected, your brother’s Kotoamatsukami was easily one of the most powerful Mangekyo abilities to be had, and your training on your own had discovered it was much the same. You could now influence thoughts as well as control the body, you could choose when to release it, and it was only penetrable by other genjutsu. Still, it would be nice to have your brother’s eyes back in your family and usable for your Eternal Mangekyo. It was clear either way that the man before the Last of the Uchiha severely underestimated the power of each of you individually.
“Through various means, it would take too long to describe.” He answers nonchalantly.
“Any explanation would have upset me more.” Sasuke says with a stern frown. He closes his eyes. “Forget it. I’ve decided to kill you. Y/N, stay back unless I need you.” He says, to which you nod affirmatively. You would step in if his chakra was running out, as your chakra control and storage made you tireless. He nods back, satisfied with your answer. “Before that, let me ask one thing: Is it true that Itachi Uchiha eliminated our clan by order of the Elders?”
Danzo doesn’t respond. He simply starts weaving hand signs and staring blankly at him, and then he runs. He sprints full speed straight at Sasuke, reeling his arm back for a chakra packed punch. It’s stopped by a purple wall of Sasuke’s chakra.
“Part of a susano’o..” You wonder softly aloud.
Danzo stumbles back in surprise. The fist of Sasuke’s summons sweeps Danzo into the air and threatens to crush him.
“So this is the Susano’o.” The old man groans, obviously struggling for breath in this chakra hold. The fist starts to squeeze inward. You’re standing off to the side, not quite able to read Sasuke’s expression, but his raised voice tells you everything you need to know.
“I’m going to ask one more time. Is it true that Itachi Uchiha eliminated my clan by order of the Elders?” His voice thunders, larger than you’ve ever heard before.
Danzo looks at you, clearly unfocused on Sasuke’s line of questioning.
“I’m asking if it’s true!” Sasuke roars again, demanding his attention. The Susano’o’s fist tightens once more, and you’re sure Danzo’s bones will start to break soon. You smile at this, knowing it is kinder than what he deserves. Danzo grunts out, the pain clear. “Answer me!”
“I–I didn’t think he was that kind of man.” The Leaf’s Hokage says with a trace of disgust. Sasuke gasps softly at his words. “Damn Itachi. I see he revealed everything to you before he died. As I thought it seems that you are truly special, that younger sister of Shisui as well.”
Sasuke seems stunned, lost in thought momentarily. You’re thinking of the night of the massacre, what Itachi said to him then. He made hate his driving emotion in hopes of this, this revenge that’s happening right before your very eyes. He built Sasuke himself, pushing him as far as he could go to increase his power. Did he do this for you as well? Did he know that you would become such a powerhouse yourself, was he expecting you to be part of this retribution?
Surely. Itachi was nothing if not meticulous and intelligent. He could basically see the potential future, and he figured out exactly how to play the cards to his game. He knew. He knew there was nothing he could do to keep the two of you apart forever. He just needed it to happen long enough for Sasuke to breed this strong emotion in his chest. He needed you to learn under talented teachers until the day you came back to serve in avenging the Uchiha.
Itachi and Shisui were betrayed by the shinobi world, abused and thrown away like nothing. You find yourself clutching your fists and begging for a chance at one of the men that made it all happen.
“Answer me!” Sasuke’s voice cuts through your hazy train of thought.
“I…I didn’t think Itachi was the kind of man who would reveal secrets.” Danzo says, genuinely frustrated that Itachi dared to share their corrupt ways.
“Does that mean it’s true?” Sasuke asks calmly.
You watch as his susano’o grows in power. The formerly bony skeleton mass of purple chakra became strapped in muscle and flesh, eyes glowing like two stars in its skull. You marvel at the creation, grinning at what you would be able to accomplish in time. Who knows, maybe you would get the chance to try it out against this pile of trash. Sasuke stands proudly before his susano’o, knowing he’s effectively bulletproof. Karin gasps and covers her face in fear, making you roll your eyes. And she hoped to be with Sasuke? Sakura was more bold.
“Self-sacrifice…That’s what epitomizes a shinobi. Never seeing the light of day. Toiling in the shadows. It is as it was in the past. That is what a true shinobi is.It describes not only Itachi. Countless other ninja have died the same way. Niceties alone will not make the world go round. Peace was attained all because of people like him.” He says, almost generous in the way he speaks. That demeanor quickly turned sour. “People like you who misunderstood Itachi’s intentions couldn’t possibly understand. Still, for Itachi to reveal such a secret to you makes him a traitor to the Leaf.”
Upon hearing those words, Sasuke’s Susano’o fully closes his fist around the man, and your eyes widen slightly as the blood oozes out from its palm.
“Don’t say anymore about Itachi!” Sasuke said, staring at the dangling corpse of Danzo.
“You’re right…Then let us proceed to a battle of the eyes.” Danzo’s voice rang out from behind him, kunai drawn. Sasuke whips his head around, Mangekyo fully displayed, Susano’o surrounding him. Danzo charges again, attempting to plunge the blade into the chakra shield.
You were astounded that the fool was even alive, knowing it had to be some kind of ability related to the sharingan he stole. But even you had to laugh aloud at his pathetic attempt at piercing a Susano’o. Karin looked at you wearily, and you just shrugged. It was a terrible move.
“As expected…Susano’o.” Danzo says as if the gigantic chakra skeleton man did not tell him that it was a Susano’o. You cover your mouth so as to not laugh again. “Just the thing to protect yourself.”
At just the moment he finished speaking, Sasuke’s susano’o dropped a pile of rocks likely from the landscaping above. It landed right on top of Danzo, yet you felt as if he would somehow escape this death too. You watched as the debris cleared, focused on Sasuke and his chakra levels. He was using quite a bit with his Mangekyou and Susano’o. You needed to figure out what kind of jutsu Danzo was using and quickly, to end this for good.
“The power in its attack is as expected.” Danzo says, you and Karin quickly look to the side of you. There he stood, up on a carved stone tower a few hundred feet away. Sasuke stared at him, you could tell he was working to sort it out just as you were, but the emotion he felt was getting harder and harder to ignore.
You knew this couldn’t be a genjutsu. You were extremely resistant and everyone’s chakra remained undisturbed. It had to be some unique ability connected to one or all of the sharingan in his right arm. Sasuke’s Susano’o had only formed from the spine up, yet it had the balance to rear back a punch to the tower, sending Danzo flying on a lifeboat of a stone slab under his feet. He landed on the ground below, just in time for another punch from the chakra being. Fog from the debris clouded your vision and flew towards you both, Karin screaming out in fear. Against better judgment, you wrap your fingers around her wrist and reluctantly pull her out of the way with you.
You turn your regular Sharingan on, searching for Sasuke within his Susano’o. You see him fly towards the head of his summons, and you hear the faint deep rumble of, “Amaterasu.”
You sigh, knowing he would be even more depleted by this, and Danzo would know that too. The fog clears enough for you to see the Elder being consumed by the signature black flames of Sasuke’s Mangekyo ability. Danzo plummets to the ground in agony as Sasuke lands back on his feet with his chakra shield summon dissipating around him.
You can see how tired he is, and you begin to worry. He’s been using his Mangekyo all this time, it had to be bleeding or close to it. His body heaved with heavy breath, yet you knew this still was not over. Effectively the third time he had killed the Hokage, but it was not over. You and Karin scanned for his chakra presence, shouting in unison, “Sasuke, behind you!”
“Wind Style: Vacuum Bullets!” Danzo shouts as he weaves his hand signs to activate the jutsu. It sends several compressed air bullets flying Sasuke’s way, and you wince as once slices open the top layer of skin on his arm. It shatters the rocks as he flies through the air to avoid them, sending himself flying over the bridge.
“Sasuke!” Karin cries out, moving towards him. Your hold on her wrist keeps her in place, she looks at you with confusion.
“He’s not an idiot, he has a plan.” You promise, eyes focused on the scene.
Before you know it, Sasuke is rising before you, standing on the back of a giant hawk. Karin sighs in relief, but you just smile smugly. You never doubted him for a minute.
Danzo chuckles. “Amaterasu. It’s been a while since I last saw that. You are Itachi’s younger brother after all.”
It’s now that you can see his face that you confirm your earlier suspicions. His left eye is already bleeding. He hovers in the air on the bird, crouched on its head. Your eyes flicker between him and the enemy, watching as an eye closes on the back of his arm. That had to be significant.
“You’ve taken over Itachi’s jutsu.” Danzo observes, just serving as kindling for Sasuke’s fire.
“I told you never to speak of Itachi again!” He reminds not-so-politely.
“Brothers with the same ability…Yet, what your eyes perceive is so different. I wonder if the sister of Shisui is the same. The truth about them doesn’t matter to you. You direct your hatred at whomever you can lay your hands on. You two make the sacrifice of the Uchiha Clan meaningless.” He spits, holding that disgusting right arm over his face.
Sasuke snarls. “You have no right to talk about the Uchiha!” His bird soars toward the man standing on the bridge, his hand gripping his sword. Danzo begins to weave more hand signs.
“Wind Style: Vacuum Blast!” This attempt sends some of the debris towards the hawk, which the rogue nin easily evades by jumping off and pulling his sword in the air. Sasuke scans for him in the smoke, catching the spinning shuriken hurled his way. He easily evades this as well, bending backwards out of line of danger and flipping himself to a safer position. He positions his sword in front of his face and spots Danzo atop a large rock pillar. He sends two more rounds of spinning shuriken Sasuke’s way. He catches one on the tip of his sword and sends the other one flying in the air. You notice the screech of his hawk, as if he was instructed to do something here. Sasuke slings his sword, sending the rotating weapon back to the sender. Danzo knocks it upwards, watching as it takes a chunk of rock off hurtling toward the spot where he stood. He had no choice but to move towards Sasuke. The Uchiha jumped toward him, hopeful of landing a blow with his sword, but Danzo caught him by his neck.
Your eyes widen in anxiousness, Karin once again pathetically screams his name. The hawk screeches again, and you see the missing shuriken from earlier come back into play, slicing Danzo’s arm and allowing Sasuke to strike yet another fatal blow. You inched forward, hoping this was the final time. How many times could Danzo use whatever it was he was using? Surely he would be done soon. Karin elbows you as another eye on his right arm closes.
“It’s like they represent his lives, almost.” You say, to which she nods.
“No way!” She says, prompting you to follow her eyesight up to where Danzo once again stood above you all on one of the only carved pillars remaining.
“It’s useless.” Danzo says to Sasuke once more. The wind blows across Sasuke’s face, moving his hair to let you see the serious glimmer to his eyes. He would not give up, you would have to join him yourself when he got too tired. His eyes widened again, and out from his body came a murder of crows. Danzo seemed genuinely thrown off by this, searching wildly around him, coming face to face with the figure of Itachi.
“Th-this is…Itachi?” The man asked, staring at the sharingan of the boy gone too soon.
Itachi stares blankly at him, more crows circle overhead.
From the ground, you watch Sasuke’s chakra dwindle even more as he says,”Die…Amaterasu.”
Danzo is consumed in flame yet again, but now you begin to expect his scheming survival. “I commend you for placing me under genjutsu.”
Sasuke capitalized, taking the time that he had for Danzo to be distracted to appear behind him, sword nearly pressed into his back.
“However…” He knew Sasuke was there. He realizes this truth too, grimacing. The blade of the sword dropped a little.
“Sasuke! Now’s your chance! Why did you stop?” Karin yells, and you want to punch her for her stupidity.
“He can’t move.” You say, the answer is obvious to you. And sure enough, a curse mark burns its way up Sasuke’s body.
“I was aware of your genjutsu long ago. It is a far cry from Itachi’s powerful Tsukuyomi in which he freely manipulated time.” Danzo says dismissively, he’s growing arrogant.
It’s clear that Danzo placed this mark when he touched Sasuke earlier, and you didn’t come this far to watch him lose. This is what you were here for, it was time for you to take over. You turn your eyes to Mangekyo, ready to throw your version of Kotoamatsukami down. You feel a hand on your shoulder before you can focus, causing you to turn toward the figure.
Seemingly, Karin had the same hopes to help as you did, mindlessly running up the pillar and subsequently being plainly kicked off. She lands in a pile of rocks with a loud whine, and you fight a smirk.
You shrug the hand off your shoulder, faced with Madara Uchiha. You sigh at him.
“He needs to do this on his own, it’s Itachi’s will.”
“Sometimes I think you’re just making shit up for your own benefit. Itachi doesn’t want him to die!” You argue back with a faint snarl.
Once again, you can hear the fondness coating his voice. “Oh, dear Y/N, have some faith.” Madara encourages, eye flickering between the fighting above and you. It was apparent that someone had to keep you back, or else you would prevent Sasuke’s growth. Danzo makes eye contact with you both on the ground, seemingly deep in thought.
You sigh and fold your arms over your chest, pouting like a child. “I deserve revenge too.”
Madara nods. “And you will have it, my dear. We both want to see Sasuke at his fullest potential. He cannot do that if you save him now.”
You bite the inside of your lip and nod. “Fine.”
But Madara is not dumb, he won’t leave you unattended now.
“He’s your ultimate mistake.” The words from above caught your attention, watching with true fear as he swung Sasuke’s own blade toward his paralyzed body. You jump, but Madara’s arms stop you.
You gasp. The Susano’o reappears, much bigger and sturdier than before. It burns a mass of purple flamed chakra, the skeleton becomes armored and stands tall. Sasuke lets out a guttural yell, and you can tell his chakra stores are expanding, as if he’s leveled up his hatred yet again. The curse mark fades, and he gains control of his own body.
Danzo sucks in a breath and flies through the air. He tries to stay out of reach of the Susano’o, landing on the remnants of the bridge in front of the armored mass. Sasuke shoots an arrow of pure chakra at the man. He looks as if he’s about to weave, but then abandons it in favor of summoning a massive tree to absorb the blow.
“Wood style?” You hum to yourself, amused and confused. You notice how his chakra has plummeted with the attack as well, making you take a sigh of relief. It all makes sense to you, something Tsunade showed you a long time ago. Hashirama cells…it must be to manipulate the powers of the sharingan. He must be getting close to his last few extra lives, and that’s why he’s getting desperate.
“Sasuke! That’s the real Danzo! The jutsu that makes him invincible is broken right now!” Karin yells out, making you hum. She was smarter than she acted. “He’s vulnerable!”
That makes you slap your hand over your face. If she figured it out, if you figured it out, that means he had figured it out too. The last thing he needed was her advertising that he knew.
Danzo’s seals were fast, but Sasuke raced to hit him with another purple beam of chakra. He was clearly exhausted, one eye closed it was ailing him so badly. He was breathing hard, trying to accomplish his one true goal for the two of you. He felt rejuvenated, having you there to watch. He didn’t want you to fight. As good as you were, he hoped he could prove to you that he could defeat anyone on his own.
Karin celebrates, but you hold your breath.
Surely, Danzo reanimates just next to the spot he was standing in. You look at Karin, she had figured out his chakra levels were fluctuating just as you had.
“The key has to be in the eyes that close. Maybe they’re used up for the time being?” You hypothesize aloud.
“Sasuke!” Karin brainlessly calls again, causing you to grab her and shake her a little.
“Get a grip. Your screaming is only going to distract him or get him killed, and if that happens, I will kill you. So shut up, and keep watching Danzo for better reads.” You say, to which the redhead tearfully nods.
Danzo runs for the Susano’o only to be impaled by the chakra weapon. It’s almost as if nothing happened, Danzo appears again right in stride, still running towards Sasuke. He creates a gigantic air bubble, blowing it towards the Susano’o. It’s guarded easily, but you can tell these attacks are just to bait him and tire him out more. You believe in his abilities, but he didn’t have to fight alone, so why make him?
“Madara, please, he’s running out of time.” You say shortly, eyeing the masked figure that still stood so close.
“No.”
You huff, folding your arms again. “This is ridiculous.” You turn your head back toward the action in front of you. Or rather, inaction. Danzo stood, catching his breath and analyzing his next move. You would finish him where he stood, no time for pleasantries. You were sure he would do the same if he wasn’t so wiped.
To your surprise, Danzo summons a massive elephant-like beast. It creates a vortex of wind as Danzo sprints toward the Susano’o. The summon sucks everything toward it like a vacuum, allowing him to get close enough for another wind style attack. The Susano’o is unable to move properly, and it seems as if Danzo needed that to happen .
Sasuke sends a fireball for the beast to eat, gaining mobility of his Susano’o back, He swings around in time to punch his opponent in the face and body, sending him flying towards the rocky ground. Sasuke falls to his knees, and you inch toward him, though you know you won’t be allowed to move much further. Sure, you could try to fight Madara, but that would only distract Sasuke and possibly damage his support so you didn’t want to take the risk. Though it slowly became more and more of an option as you watched your best friend cough up blood.
Your heart quickened, the thought of the only person in the world that held your heart perishing here, right in front of you, just days after you’ve reunited, felt like hell. You needed him to get up and finish this so that you two could get the revenge you deserved.
The Susano’o starts deteriorating, matching Sasuke’s chakra levels. Karin explains her findings aloud, and you nod along with her explanation. “Oh please don’t–”
“Sasuke!” She calls up to him, “I figured out a little bit of that guy’s jutsu! Listen. Alright?”
“When all ten of your eyes have closed on your right arm, your jutsu will be undone, isn’t that so?” Sasuke asks, focused on the enemy.
You smirk, and look at the girl with a glimmer in your eyes that portrays exactly how smug you feel.
Danzo seemed unimpressed, but his words prove otherwise. “You knew about Izanagi?”
“As I suspected!” Sasuke says, dropping down to his level inside the remnants of the Susano’o.
“You tricked me? What a crafty brat.”
“Y-you fool! Why are you engaging him?” Karin asks, and you slap her arm.
“Haven’t you questioned him too many times? Let him prove himself.” You say with a fond smile, proud of what Sasuke had been able to accomplish. You still wanted to vent your rage, but Madara had a different target in mind for you.
Danzo tried to stop the Susano’o’s approach with a gust of wind, but it was only delayed. He dropped an elbow down on top of the Hokage, waiting to see if an eye closed. It did.
“Sasuke! Get away from him now!” Karin panics, outwardly showing her fear. That’s where she made her mistake, and you know it. “Prolong the battle!”
You groan, watching as Sasuke turns away from her loudmouth. He doesn’t hear her, you don’t think. He’s entirely too focused. “You idiot, if that means that his jutsu is undone, then all of Sasuke’s chakra is still gone and he’s uninjured.”
Sasuke has his back to you, but when he turns back around he’s flinging shuriken at the man coming at him in the air. Another eye closes. Just two more minutes, two more killing attacks. Danzo disappears from midair, appearing behind him. Sasuke’s palm is encapsulated by chidori, one of the only things that he learned from Kakashi. He forms it into a sword, wielding it by his side as he yells, “How many Uchiha did you kill to get that right arm?!”
Danzo has a chakra blade of his own it seems. “It was Itachi who enabled me to get it.”
“You made him do it!” Danzo’s eye grows wider and everyone watches in wonder. Sasuke’s lightning blade rests burrowed deep in his chest.
“You were too hasty. My eye is still open. Go to Itachi so he can lecture you. I win.”
You shook your head in disbelief. No, this couldn’t be it. He had done it! What did he mean, he wins, no he doesn’t! Not against Sasuke, not here.
“You may think you’ve seen through Izanagi..” But then the man’s eyes go wide in a mix of shock and fear. He coughs up a stream of dark blood. It’s not working, you think, Sasuke put him under a genjutsu. The last eye closes, and you clench your fists as you eagerly watch on. Sasuke pushes the man back slightly, freeing his lightning blade from his abdomen.
“You’re the one who is going to see Itachi.” Sasuke states smugly, watching as his opponent fell to his knee with a grunt of pain. Sasuke’s exhaustion was clear, and you hoped this would be the extent of it. You’re not as confident about him having to do this over if the Izanagi was undone. With another yell of suffering, Danzo falls forward on his hands, inches away from Sasuke’s feet.
“Now that’s battling with your eyes. Don’t underestimate the Uchiha.”
You watch them carefully. Danzo never used Shisui’s eye, perhaps he was worried about you or Sasuke or even Madara getting it back. You knew that he was seeking power and prowess, but you were sure he would allow you to keep your brother’s eye. You want to get it back, it should’ve never been abused like this. None of this should have happened like this. Danzo is the reason your brother is dead. All because they wanted his abilities. You are his second coming, the now mostly heartless version of the boy who had been so kind. Your abilities will make up for the loss of his.
Ripping you out of your thoughts was Sasuke’s yell of pain. You focus back on the present, moving toward him as far as Madara would allow. Karin runs fully fledged, and you’re annoyed that he lets her. This of course is an ultimate move to keep you out of danger and to allow Sasuke to be the best. Madara knows Karin can’t contribute anything too useful, whereas you could have used your Mangekyo ability to control everything.
Karin crouches next to him. “Are you alright? Hurry up and bite!”
You roll your eyes. That would be how her healing works, how stupid. He grabs her arm and his eyes flitter over to you for a moment. He looks back down at her wrist and reluctantly chomps down. You can actually feel your body temperature increase when she moans out and turns red, obviously getting something from this.
“Bringing that woman was a wise decision, she’s useful. I see why Sasuke chose her.” Madara says, and you wonder if he gets pleasure from pissing you off. You’re fully capable of healing too, it really wasn’t necessary for her to be here at all. Sasuke did want her to join, however, and now you’re wondering why. It felt silly to be so jealous at a time like this, so you force the thought out entirely, choosing instead to watch the scene before you.
You watch as Danzo summons yet another huge tree from his Hashirama given ability. It makes you wish you could make trees this powerful under your plant jutsu, but the wood style was so unique to the first Hokage.
“What a persistent guy!” Karin says as Danzo reaches to undo the bandages covering his head and right eye. You almost shout for her to get out of the way, but something causes the words to die in your throat.
“Not yet. This is where we battle with our eyes.” Your stomach sinks. This could really only mean one thing. The sharingan in his head was Shisui’s. All you see is red, wishing you could throw caution to the wind in order to get it back.
Almost as if he’s able to read your thoughts, Madara’s other hand claps down gently on your shoulder. “We’ll be getting it back.” He promised, needing both of the Uchiha to unlock their eternal Mangekyo status. His visual prowess combined with yours would make any opponent terrified to stand across from you.
Sasuke realizes this as well, recognizing the sharingan pattern of your older brother. He charges at Danzo with his left hand consumed by Chidori. But Danzo doesn’t wait for him to make it, choosing to run around to hold Karin by the neck. You clap your hands over your face. Of course, she would be annoying this entire mission and then get herself taken hostage when the battle was nearly won.
“You used your visual prowess too much, didn’t you?” Danzo asks, a smug expression on his face.
Karin struggles in his grip. “Sasuke..!”
“Useless.” You mutter, directly arguing Madara’s earlier claims. “I could have healed him faster and avoided this.”
“Isn’t it ironic that you, who glorified self-sacrifice, would take a hostage?” Sasuke asks calmly. You know that he has a plan.
“It’s not that I consider my life precious. But for the sake of the Hidden Leaf Village…for the ninja world…I cannot afford to die here.” He replies, making it clear how much of a rat he truly is. He cares not for the Leaf like he claims, he only cares about power and winning. “No matter what the means, I must survive. For I will be the one reformer who will change this ninja world. This woman will be sacrificed for that cause.” He adds, tightening his hold on the redheaded healer.
You can’t find it in yourself to care. You just want Danzo dead and your brother’s eye returned to you. You want to get rid of this whiny brat that thinks that she has any of Sasuke’s attention. You want to balance out the scales and go home, wherever that would be.
“Sasuke help!” She pleads again, not an ounce of self-preservation instinct in her.
“Don’t move…Karin.” Sasuke says authoritatively, causing the girl to smile with relief. You gasp. He looks terrifying right now, nothing but coldness and brutality emanating off of him. He shoots a beam of his chidori straight out, hitting Karin and Danzo both.
Karin’s eyes are wide, blood seeping from her mouth. Even you are surprised. Your shock turns into a smile, appreciating his desire for revenge. He would never let Danzo get away, just like he had promised to himself and to you.
Danzo is stilled, hit in a vital point. It should just be seconds before he draws his last breath.
“Brother…one down.” He says with a satisfied smile.
“Sasuke…what was I to you?” She asks desperately, as if the answer was not clear by his willingness to sacrifice her life to get what he wanted.
“Karin…You managed to get taken hostage, you are nothing but a burden to me.” His chidori finally powers down and Karin’s injured form falls face first onto the cement. Danzo’s breathing grows heavy, and you can still hear the woman struggling for her own breaths. Sasuke is satisfied. There is no guilt or remorse.
Danzo turns and starts to lightly jog away, his desperation clear. He had no other options, and was cornered once more. Sasuke starts to calmly walk after him, his dark eyes glowering with a crazed desire. He smirks, walking Danzo down. Madara takes you with him as he jumps to the bridge, cutting off his escape.
“Danzo..I’m taking Shisui’s eye.” He says with finality. Sasuke reflects on the night he found out about Shisui, the pain he felt for you. He couldn’t have imagined what it would be like to lose Itachi yet, and if you felt even a fraction of the way he did now, you deserve this retribution tenfold.
Danzo seemed enraged. “For the sake of the ninja world…for the sake of the Hidden Leaf…I will not let you three live!” He declares, a black seal appearing on his body.
“Sasuke! Get away from Danzo!” Madara yells, dissolving into the ground below. You and Sasuke jump into the air.
You shake your head. “No! Shisui’s eye!” You remind, eyes fixed on the man destroying himself just to keep you from having it. The two of you land on the Samurai Bridge, close to Karin’s body. There’s not any time to process what happened, and you think you’re hallucinating when you see Sakura walking toward you two.
She pleads with Sasuke to allow her to join your team, claiming she, too, has defected. You immediately know she’s lying. If another team seven member left the village, every available ninja in Konoha would be after her. And, as sweet and talented in medical nin as she was, she was not gifted in evasion or lying.
Sasuke seemed to play her game, telling her she could replace Karin on their squad if she killed her. You could see the terror flashing in her eyes. She wouldn’t do it. Karin groaned in obvious agony, watching all three of you. As Sakura approaches her, you share a glance with Sasuke. You shake your head, eyes flickering over to the other women briefly. He nods, agreeing with you. He lights his hand with what little chakra he has left, but before it goes anywhere, Kakashi flies onto the bridge, swooping the pink-haired woman away.
Your heart stops, your mind goes blank even. Kakashi? You really must be hallucinating now. You watched him die, how on earth is he standing before you? Is this a joke, no, no, a cruel prank. He sets her down, instructing her to take Karin somewhere else, if you hear him correctly.
After that, you’re not really sure what happens or what’s being said. You can hear the cold and biting tone in Sasuke’s voice. He’s really going off the rails, he’s getting more cruel and more dark. You knew that was Itachi’s goal for the most part, but only to drive this revenge and keep the name of the Uchiha respected. But he had killed the most prominent motivator behind the massacre, shouldn’t he feel better? Kakashi…it really is him. It’s his voice, all the body language is the same. A strange noise comes out of your mouth and you’re embarrassed when your knees buckle.
Kakashi is relieved to see you unharmed and relatively safe. He sees the myriad of emotions on your face, and for a moment he wants to pause all of this arguing to give you a hug and tell you that it is really him. That he’s not angry with you and he’ll do anything it takes to keep you safe, even if that includes hurting Sasuke.
You hear the battle between them commence, a few ninjutsu here and there until Sasuke summons his Susano’o. You know no matter how this ends, you’ll be heartbroken for a time. You wanted revenge too, but even you could admit that you were worried for Sasuke once again. And if Sasuke hurt Kakashi in any permanent way, you would hold that against him. His Susano’o falters, running on fumes of chakra at this point. He taps you in.
“Y/N, take care of this pretender!” He demands, enraged, that Kakashi has the sharingan and the chakra control to use it as a non-Uchiha.
But you don’t move. You know you can’t, you could never even imagine it. Deep down, Sasuke knows this too. That’s why he gives you such an order in the first place. He’s losing himself, he can feel that. All his love and care for you has been devoured by this Amaterasu of emotion. The only thing he can comprehend is hatred, is the need for crushing anyone and anything that’s hurt him. He’s jealous and angry at you, too, for having someone care about you like Kakashi does. You didn’t have to experience everything on your own like he did. Once, he wanted you to get revenge too. He wanted your hatred to burn and consume you just as it had him. But yours wasn’t strong enough. No, because you had weaknesses. Your loyalty to him could be blinded by your devotion to the man who raised you. Maybe at some point he had appreciated this about you. Part of him may even be glad that you had a family. But when you denied him the first time he was baffled. He knew you had to care for him more than that, right? But here you sit, on your hands and knees in the river, denying him again. Uchihas feel every emotion deeply, and you love him. You have always loved him, so how dare you choose Kakashi right now? It was your chance to prove that you were indeed strong.
Kakashi was going to be a few seconds too late. Sasuke moved toward you with the intent to kill this time, and he was stunned. Was he really this close to bringing you back home only to be responsible for your death?
Your eyes widened once you realized that he was coming at you, and then all you felt was a gust of wind and a strong body and chakra wrapped around you. You looked up, arms around the neck of Naruto Uzumaki. Maybe under different circumstances you would smile at him. But now, your emotions are so conflicted. Even when Naruto smiles warmly down at you and sets you back on your wobbly feet, you don’t know what to say. Because really, you are just as bad as Sasuke. You let him attack Karin and you would have let him kill Sakura on a whim, just because you knew you could. You got revenge, but you were devastated about not retrieving your brother’s eye. You fed off of Sasuke’s negativity instead of him feeding off of any of your light. You knew there were more targets, but how many innocent people would you have to hurt to finish attaining revenge?
Part of you died again with Kakashi. With every loss, your heart grew smaller and your eyes more powerful. You enjoyed being powerful, but at this cost…the price was much too high. It becomes clear to you that the only person that can save Sasuke is himself, and only Naruto can get close enough to him to force this. Kakashi’s hand is on your head, bringing you out of your thoughts while Naruto and Sasuke exchange words and promises. Sasuke wants to attack the Leaf, Naruto swears to defend it to no end. Life was so different just moments ago, but you have to let Sasuke go. It’s the only way you can ever hope to mend what you have, if that time ever comes. Kakashi’s hand is large, but it’s a welcome reminder of the best thing to come of this: his return.
“Are you alright?” He asks, eyes carefully analyzing you. He knew this must be beyond difficult, as most your life had been, he understands.
“I think so.” You reply unsurely. The truth was absolutely not. How could you be okay? You were in the Bingo Books but all you sought was justice, corrupted by the desire toward the end. And now, the only true love you’ve ever known would have killed you had Naruto not showed up.
Madara and Zetsu show up, trying to de-escalate the situation and take Sasuke away. Zetsu wanted to further the fighting to take you back, and perhaps capture the nine-tails inside Naruto, but he was luckily talked down from that. They disappear, and you’re left looking around at Kakashi and Naruto without a clue in the world what to say.
“Don’t worry Y/N-chan, Kakashi-Sensei and Old Lady Tsunade will get all of this taken care of! We want you to come home!” Naruto says cheerfully, though you can tell he’s hiding his emotions by distracting himself with yours.
You look down at the river beneath you. “Is it really that easy? I..I don’t know how I can face anyone..”
Kakashi’s face softens. He knows the feeling. “You’ll do what you have always done before. You’ll train and go on missions and earn back trust over time. It won’t be easy, but it’s nothing you can’t manage.”
“Plus we’re always here for you!” Naruto adds, patting you on the shoulder affectionately. “I missed you! I looked everywhere for you Y/N…” He chuckles nervously, clearly not trying to get on your case.
“I know, you got close several times. I’m sorry…I thought that this is what I wanted.”
“It’s alright, really! Don’t worry about it, you’re coming back home to the Leaf and now we can train together and we’ll be ready to take on Sasuke!” He holds his hand out for you to take, and you do. You squeeze it out of appreciation, and he seems a little lost for a moment. It causes a smile to sneak up on you, he wasn’t familiar with acts of affection and it made you wonder why he held his hand out to you at all.
“We’ll be ready.” You confirm, heart aching already at the thought of the Last of the Uchiha standing against each other instead of beside. Your smile is weak and it’s easy to tell that you’re still weary, but it means enough to the jinchuriki and your father figure that they both smile softly at you in return.
“Let’s go home.” Kakashi hums, relieved to have you in tow. But he felt immense guilt over Sasuke, and what lay ahead for you.
Home. You nod, wondering the same. Wondering what home really means, and if life is always this painful.
Naruto starts talking about some old story that Jiraiya told him, and you’re grateful that he keeps the journey from being silent.
“Gaara! I will stay and fight with the Kage!” You proclaim, taking up a spot beside him and aiding Tsunade in his healing.
He hums his approval. “Good, your prowess will help us well.” He says honestly, the last time he saw you was at the Kage Summit, and you were not so helpful then. But before that, you helped save him from Sasori and Deidara, and before that, you were kind to him at the chunin exams. Overall, he has more reasons to believe in you than not, and he chooses to trust in you.
The Mizukage sprays a lava jutsu all over the place, allowing the Raikage to pull off some lightning style moves.
Madara re-emerges from the rubble in a big blue Susano’o not unlike Sasuke’s. You hum, finishing up Gaara’s healing to form a Susano’o of your own. You had been practicing it as far as you really could, stressing yourself out by reliving your different traumas until your summon was perfect. A bright green chakra statue comes together in the sky, your Susano’o standing directly against Madara Uchiha’s. Madara throws attacks at you, Gaara’s sand creating a protective barrier around everyone else. You crush the attacks with your hands.
“Another pesky one of my own, is that so?” Madara chuckles deeply, almost admiring your perfect Susano’o. “It’s too bad I’ll have to kill you, child!”
Gaara covers his Susano’o with his sand, preparing for his ultimate sand coffin burial. Madara shoots his chakra through, piercing the layer and preparing for another attack. The Mizukage covers the field in mist, obscuring the rinnegan’s ability to see. The Raikage takes the opportunity to get through, and you follow his lead to take a shot at Madara’s Susano’o too, the sound of chakra against chakra like nails on a chalkboard. You knock him from the being, powering yours down to fight regularly. You punch the ground, creating a physical rift and hopefully some sort of visual one.
The Tsuchikage talks Naruto’s shadow clone into trusting in the five Kage’s abilities, especially with you as added backup. Naruto trusts you too, maybe more easily than you deserved, but his clone sped off and left the six of you to take Madara down.
Madara wraps vines around the Tsuchikage’s defense, and you recognize the plant style similar to yours. You grin, you summon your own vines in the variety that would smother out his own, considered more powerful but also more chakra consuming. Your seal appears on your forehead, and you’re ready to consume what you’ve had stored for so long.
Your vines take out half of his plants, but it's not enough. They start to admit a poisonous pollen, which Tsunade advises everyone to avoid. Everyone jumps in the air, giving Madara an opening to reform his Susano’o. The commotion of his summons sends everyone flying towards the tree roots he’s created below. He uses a fire style to light the wood on fire, smoke inhalation making you all fall forward, unable to overpower it. The Tsuchikage uses all of his remaining strength to use a metallic jutsu, repelling the flame away.
It takes a few minutes, but slowly you all wake, rushing to the Tsuchikage’s aid. Madara reveals his addition of Hashirama’s powers to his own, taking the time to insult Lady Tsunade’s powers in comparison to her grandfather’s. He even calls her a weak woman, to which your promise he will pay for.
“Alright it’s time for you to stop talking!” You grit your teeth, watching Tsuande’s 100 healings jutsu seal wraps around her body, and her punch is enough to actually physically crack Madara’s Susano’o. You’re mystified by this, and proud of one of your teachers for defending her abilities. Hashirama was a God amongst men, there is no comparison to be made except for maybe Naruto. The Mizukage has to jump in to extinguish another bout of fire style. Her water dragon comes next, allowing Tsunade and the Raikage to score hits on the chakra shield. Their punches land, cracking the usually impenetrable guard and taking Madara right out of it.
“I’ll admit it. Undoubtedly you are not weak woman. However, Hashirama, I don’t know exactly what it is you’ve left to all your followers. But this falls short of your abilities. If you’re going to let your underlings take over, you should have taught them how to resurrect you. The only thing that is ever truly passed down, of course, is hatred.” He says smugly, arms folded over his chest.
Tsunade flies at him. Landing a punch to his chest. The Raikage calls for Gaara, letting him enact his plan. He captures Madara in a sand pyramid, and you jump over to land with Tsunade.
“Way to go!” You cheer, just as a beam of chakra erupts from the tree root you’re standing on, shooting right through your mentor. It lifts her into the air, the rest of you staring in shock. Apparently Gaara sealed a wood style clone instead of the real Madara. Tsunade yells out, a guttural mix of frustration, anger, and the desire to win. She ‘cha’s’ the chakra beam impaling her, and this time even Madara is surprised. She holds onto the other end of the tentacle-esque formation, slamming it to the ground below her. Madara sends her flying into a pile of rocks, even more shocked when she pushes them aside and stands ready to fight again.
The Tsuchikage tries an attack from behind while Tsuande aims one at his front, but Madara is able to deflect. He summons five clones for every one of you, taunting you with the option for them to use Susano’o. Yours forms again, ready to take on most of the clones yourself. Your Susano’o fights with two samurai blades, slashing through several members of Madara’s army. One still hits the Mizukage, sending her flying back as well as Gaara when he tries to intervene. Lady Tsunade and the Raikage land a few shots on their own shadow clones, and then Madara decides to pick the Raikage out of the crowd. He puts him under a genjutsu, and the Tsuchikage’s summon is the only thing that saves the former’s life.
The Five Kage plus you stand aligned, ready for what came next. You knew the clones were going to be an issue, though Madara seemed less sure about them now that your Susano’o stands tall too.
The Tsuchikage sends out a particle style jutsu, absorbing the rest of the clones and forcing Madara into his perfect Susano’o. You force yours to his level, knowing that if you don’t, all five Kage will die. Madara hits the cliff, sending everyone but your shielded form back a few hundred yards. His Susano’o walks up to yours. You slash at him, but he’s quick. He lands a hit on your chakra form, making you take a couple steps backward. You block his next attack with one sword, using your other to stab through. For a moment, you believe your attack is what causes him to drop from his Susano’o, but he declares that something is wrong with the jutsu he’s been using.
You grin, knowing that if you can continue to hold him off, you may overpower him simply from your chakra stores. He obviously has virtually hundreds of years of fighting experience and Hashirama Senju was his opponent, but still, you tell yourself that your power compares to no one else, not even your brother.
“It appears that the reanimation jutsu has been released.” He says unbothered, though you feel like it’s a ruse. You drop from your Susano’o in favor of your right eye’s Mangekyou ability, Subete o Mamoru. It allows you to project your genjutsu onto everyone else, giving you the opportunity to give the Five Kage your delayed sense.
Madara barrels toward you, and the only person you can’t protect is Lady Tsunade, who barrels ahead to meet him. You watch her stutter mid-air, her seal must have worn off. The Raikage jumps to catch her, but she’s gently placed down on a tree root before anyone can actually make it to her. You’re all confused, as she seemed to have passed out in the air. When she comes mentally back, she seems re-energized, claiming she got to see an old friend. It must have been the reanimated souls making it back, someone came to see her. You wondered if it was Dan, or her brother, or even Jiraiya.
Madara claims that she will see him then again soon, releasing the jutsu. He voices his desire to go for Naruto instead, which you vehemently protest.
“Even if we can’t stop him, we can’t just let him get to Naruto!” You proclaim, arguing with the Kage of the Villages. You’re not sure what happens next, all you see is the ground beneath you growing closer dangerously fast.
It’s Kakashi that shakes you awake. The sun is hanging in the sky, things are mostly quiet other than a low rumble of a few people talking here and there. His eyes look at you with worry, but your gentle smile puts him at ease. You were mostly unharmed, just a few scrapes and bruises here and there. You fought valiantly and stood toe-to-toe with Madara. He pats your head.
“Is it over?” You ask, looking around at the immeasurable damage done.
He nods slowly. The war is certainly over, but Naruto and Sasuke were standing against each other for the final time.
“What is it?” You ask cautiously, able to read that there was more to know. Your heart drops, and you fear that you’ve lost your friends.
“Naruto and Sasuke are fighting in the valley.” He states, watching your expression shift. You didn’t even know Sasuke had shown up, and you immediately feared that he was fighting with the other Uchiha.
“Sasuke? Did…he–”
“No, he fought for the Leaf…he needs to fight Naruto a final time, I think. To fully put this to bed.” Kakashi explains calmly, lifting you into his arms to take you and Sakura to the scene. He lets the two of you heal each other, silently. There was a quiet understanding that you had between each other, and you were okay with that.
When you get to the valley though, all the fighting is done. The two boys lay almost lifeless on the rock, missing an arm and bleeding out. Sakura runs over the rock to Naruto, and you find yourself automatically moving the same way, sitting by Sasuke’s side with a pained smile.
Sakura is in tears, healing Naruto and looking between the two of them in wonder.
You hold your hand over Sasuke’s wound, and the look in his eyes is heartbreaking. His other hand closes around your wrist, pushing your hand away.
“I don’t deserve it.” He says, seemingly realizing the mistakes he’s made all at once. As he looks at you, someone who had every right to turn out just like him, but someone who was so much better. You were kind and forgiving and full of love for other people, and it hurt him to look at your brightness. Especially when he almost smothered it out, almost killed the person he cares most for simply out of anger.
You peel his hand off of yours, pooling your chakra to heal the wound. “You deserve to live, Sasuke.”
“I hurt you. I’m sorry, you didn’t do anything to deserve that.” His voice is thick and shaky, and you know he’s fighting tears.
You rest your other hand on his face. “Apology accepted. The world doesn’t work off of who deserves what, Sasuke. We can only do that for each other, from now on. I’ll give you what you deserve if you can do that for me.”
He nods, watching you stop his bleeding and bandage the nub that used to be his right arm. You’re beat up, and he wonders who you were fighting with and against in the war. He wonders how you can forgive him so easily and touch him so tenderly after everything he’s put you through, all the back and forth and the mistreatment and the danger. He can tell by the softness of your features, the gentle smile playing at your lips and the life that shines in your eyes, you aren’t upset. You meant what you said. He feels another emotion, one he’s felt in short bursts before, but this time it’s overwhelming. Anger and hatred burned from the inside, turning everything to blisters and scars. But what he feels as he looks at you, it soothes. It’s a rush of cool water relieving all his burns, stronger than the gusting winds of his doubt. He knows it will be alright, for the first time. He knows he will do whatever it takes to give you what you deserve, it’s the least he can do, so he’ll do even more than that.
He’ll make it up to you, or spend his life trying.
Kakashi was chosen as the Sixth Hokage, much to your enjoyment. You knew the job would keep him on his toes, but you couldn’t imagine anyone better for it. He pardons Sasuke for his crimes, citing his war effort and even Itachi’s work to protect the Leaf as the reasons why.
Itachi and Shisui are officially commemorated as Heroes of the Leaf. It warms your heart to know that this came from Sasuke’s journey. Just like you had hoped, Naruto forced him to save himself and understand his actions.
In an effort to continue making up for his transgressions, he vows to search the hidden villages for any more Kaguya-level threats to keep the Leaf safe for as long as he lives. Itachi would be proud. Sasuke cites you as the biggest reason he was able to come back to himself, the way you stood strong was inspiring. A true example of the honor, strength, and integrity of being an Uchiha.
It has only been a few months, but the two of you have become inseparable. All is right in the world, the Last of the Uchiha stand side by side wherever you see them. That doesn’t change even as he gets ready to set out on this mission, your journey unarguably bound with his. He knew you would come with him, but part of him worried that you would change your mind. He worried that you would realize that you were better than him, that he had done unforgivable things, he broke his promise. He swore he would never hurt you yet that’s all he’s ever done.
So how can you look at him so happily, bouncing up to your fellow Uchiha with a bright smile and a bag hanging off your shoulder, no doubt packed for the trip. How can you leave Kakashi behind in favor of him, the man who almost killed you? The warmth in your heart sparks life in him, determined to take your forgiveness and make the most of it. You look as magical as you usually do, your Uchiha-crested shirt form-fitting to your womanly figure. You took the comfortable and utilizable route of shorts, knowing that you would be active. Your cloak is snapped above your chest, the purple cape flapping in the breeze. And that damned purple headband keeps your dark hair out of your shining and love-filled face.
You love him, he realizes again. Once, it upset him. He felt entitled to your love without even really knowing what it meant. He thought a woman’s love was pure devotion, that it was something mindless and just another facet of life. From his earliest ages, he remembers assuming he’d marry you. He remembers not being bothered by the idea, but didn’t think you were much like a wife when you were little. His mom was quiet and sweet, and you were a yelling demon of a girl. His mom always made good dinners and always made him happy when he cried,so that’s what thought love meant. And he could live without a good dinner or and he doesn’t cry often enough to need someone to cheer him up.
That’s what he used to believe, until now. Now that he’s watching you carefully pack onigiri in a small box, rambling on about Shikamaru and Temari’s wedding that would happen while you two were gone, it all makes so much sense. The unfathomable care and worry he had for you that night, grieving your loss as a child, wondering if he would ever see you again. The jealousy of watching you become close with Naruto and Shikamaru, the deep need to have you by his side at his lowest mental point, it’s because he loves you too, and it means so much more than he thought.
You fill the emptiness in him with your smile, the sound of your laugh makes his heart beat funny but he likes it. If anything happens to you, he fears what he truly would become then. He decides to push that out of his mind, knowing he would never allow that. You would be safer than you’ve ever been, because he would die for you.
Your eyes narrow at him. You could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn’t listening, he was lost in his own head again. You wonder if it’s a good or a bad place, whatever he’s thinking about. You think it’s pleasant, from the small grin betraying him. His hair ruffled slightly with the breeze, his dark cape doing the same. He stood tall, seemingly growing more even over the past few months. He traded his purple clothes for black, knowing you would keep the purple alive. His robes were simple, but you thought he would get too warm on the long road ahead.
Over the past few months, the two of you had grown closer, however that was possible. It seemed easier now, like after your traumas you were able to let things flow more freely. Unfortunately, neither of you were magically gifted with the ability of affection all of a sudden, though you were each trying to work up the nerve to display your true emotions in a more bold way. So far, the furthest confirmation you had received from him was the green paper heart tucked still in the pocket of your bag, and the most he had from you was your utter stoppage of Karin every time she was around. It was clear how much you meant to each other, and you were able to say as much. You usually stayed with him in his old apartment, which made conversations flow unfiltered and with plenty of wonder from you, gazing at the nearly barren place.
He’s been here since you were kids, and it didn’t have any personal decoration or flare to it. It barely looked lived in, though you imagine his desertion at 12 had a lot to do with that. Yet still, it was a time capsule of comparison. You had six years of learning to be a person with Kakashi, he had six years of beige walls and a ticking clock on the wall. Nothing but his own mind to keep him busy, his emotions and need to get stronger motivating him to train hard. You marveled at the dust settled over everything, opening the window to air the apartment out. You two had spent that afternoon cleaning the entire place, and you displayed a few pictures and some of the origami he made you to decorate. He smiled at the gesture, a picture of the two of you as rogue nin framed. It made him want to chuckle, so he did, though it sounded strange.
“What, you don’t like it?” You pouted, moving to grab it back. He quickly stopped you by stepping in between the picture and origami setup on the dresser and your lunging form.
“It’s just an interesting picture, that’s all. I do suppose that’s the only one you have, though.” He admitted with a shrug, a tiny smile on his lips. He was amused by the pouting and by the effort to make his apartment seem more like a home despite the fact you two would be leaving it to dust over again in a few months anyway. “I like it.”
You arched a brow. “Are you lying?”
“No. I don’t get the point of decorating when we’ll be leaving again, but I think it’s nice of you to worry about things like that.” He says, and you look at him critically, deciding he was telling the truth.
“Because it’s still yours. It makes me a little sad to think about tiny Sasuke growing up here. I guess I can’t undo that, of course, but..I can make the future better.” You say, pouting again at the idea.
He smiled and nodded. He definitely agreed, you were just about the only thing that could make him better.
So now that you two are ready to set out, he wonders if he has the nerve to push things just a little further with you. You set all his paper origami creations on his table that day a couple of months ago, all except the most important one.
“Hey, did you keep the..paper heart-thing I made you..?” He asks just as you were about to ask if he was listening. So that’s what he was thinking about. The question and his awkwardness makes your heart quicken.
You nod. “Yeah, it’s right here.” You reply, undoing the button on your bag so you can pull it from the pocket to show him.
He smiles softly when he sees it, and almost instinctively looks away. “Why did you keep it, instead of putting it up in my apartment?”
“Because this one means something else, I thought.” You say back, quicker in response than he anticipated. There’s a knowing tone to your voice, like you understand what he’s working towards and are letting him have the time to do it.
“It does.” He confirms, and it wasn’t as hard as he expected. He holds his hand out to you again, like he did in the cave months earlier, but instead of letting you grab it, he looks down at it like he wasn’t sure how to accomplish what he wanted. He wasn’t sure how to simply express his affection for you other than what you did to him after the war. He tilts his hand a little and rests it on your cheek instead. When you touched him like this it was gentle and sweet, he could feel your forgiveness. He hoped you could feel his love for you.
“I love you too.” You hum, sinking into the touch. He could feel your cheek move for your soft smile. Your fingers close around his wrist, The two of you just looking at each other. There was nothing else to say, out loud anyway. His heart softened at you words, you did know him so well.
Time heals most wounds, and so does working missions with your partner. It felt like the two of you versus the world, in a good way. The way you had always imagined it would feel. The wide open sky welcomes you both, stars lighting the way of your walk. It had been another few months since the two of you left the Leaf to start exploring threats, and since you confessed your previously unspoken love for one another. Not much had changed since then, other than the two of you holding hands as you talked about all kinds of different things and explored the hidden villages.
The beautiful night sky just served to highlight your beauty, in the eyes of Sasuke. It really was a miracle that you didn’t fall for someone else while he was gone, truly the Last Princess. Uchiha were unusually beautiful, but you were angelically so. Not to even factor in your immense power and perfect persona. He wasn’t completely sure anyone deserved to be with you. He was lucky you gave him that chance.
“We should rest here for a while.” He says in that ever calm voice of his. You hum your agreement and begin to set up a little pallet bed for each of you. He came over to help set up his own, remembering something you had said a few months ago. “Hm. Isn’t Shikamaru and Temari’s wedding today?”
You gasp and nod, pilfering through your bag for a scroll to write them a letter. “Yes! I completely forgot, thank you for reminding me!” You say, taking out the paper and bearing down on the ground with your ink pot.
“Silly girl.” Sasuke mused, summoning two crows. “This will be faster, and they’ll show clones of us. What would you like to say?”
You stand back up, pleasantly surprised that he would send chakra birds to deliver your message faster. “Of course, of course, uh let’s see.”
You stare off at the stars above you, biting your lip. Maybe everything really was worth it, if in the end he gets to keep you. You’re impossibly seductive, even when you’re simply thinking of what to tell your good friends.
“Congratulations, Shikamaru and Temari! I’ve known that this is how your story goes since we were chunin, the chemistry you two have is so amazing! I love you two so much and so does Sasuke!! We’re sending you a wedding gift when we get to the next village so be on the lookout for that. Can’t wait to see you both soon! Sasuke, say bye!” You say, cheerful and bouncy. He can’t help himself, everything in his body aches to grab you in his arm and kiss you, uncouth as it may be. So he does. He steps forward and wraps his left arm around your waist, tugging you close.. You look up at him when he does this, only surprise and excitement on your face as your hands brace yourself on his chest, waiting expectantly. He brings his hand up to hold your face in the way he likes so much, thumb gently stroking over your cheekbone. He leans down, trusting his body to know what to do. Your lips meet his, soft and warm. He finds that he does know what to do, mouth moving over yours easily. You feel him relax, hands still balled up in his clothes. His body is tingling, your breath giving him life and motivating him to keep going on. Only when he’s breathless does he pull away, resting his forehead on yours. His heart races but in a comforting way. Like he would spend the rest of his life chasing that feeling, of your hands and lips on him and no one else.
His eyes widen when he realizes that the chakra crows would replay the scene, and you seemingly understand this at the same time. You giggle and shake your head, turning back to them. “He gets a little excited, sorry about that you guys.”
He smiles sheepishly, waving towards the birds. “Um, yes, I apologize. Congratulations on your marriage,” He weaves the sign to send the birds, looking horribly embarrassed when he turns back to you.
You can’t help but laugh again, giving him a shorter but just as sweet kiss. “Well now the Leaf gets to commemorate our first kiss!”
The journey involves a few firsts for the young couple. You discover that you have an insane fighting chemistry, able to read each other’s moves and capitalize. Fighting together feels amazing, like all is right in the world. You train and keep your abilities sharp together, eat every meal by each other’s side.
You’ve been traveling for a little over three years, marked by your eighteenth birthday. Sasuke had already celebrated this milestone earlier in the year, but he wanted to make it more of a spectacle for you, if that can be believed. He visited a shop and had cookies made, and even sacrificed some of the money to spend the night in an inn. It still wasn’t nearly what you deserved, but he wanted you to feel loved by him. He’s not stupid, he knows he’s not very romantic verbally, so he had to rely on his actions to help.
You, of course, nearly sob at the gesture. It was impossibly sweet, and it got his message across perfectly.
“Happy birthday, Y/N.” He says after showing you the room you two would rest in for the night. You were taken with the space, it was bigger than Kakashi’s apartment, and it was decorated beautifully. The Mist definitely knew how to leisure.
“Sasuke…this is great!” You beam, throwing your arms around his neck. “I love you!”
“I love you. Don’t waste the cookies.” He says, returning your hug. He relished the way your body felt pressed against his, the way you tucked your face into his neck and the way your hands rubbed circles into his shoulder blades.
You giggle at the sentiment, releasing him in favor of trying your birthday cookies.
That night, you celebrate another first time, gifting all of yourselves to each other and demonstrating all your love.
“I think we should be married.” He says almost absentmindedly, the two of you walking by some official-looking building in the Stone.
“Oh, is that so?” You reply with a short hum, wondering if he was being serious. Though, admittedly, he’s not the type to joke around.
He hums in reply. “Yes. We’ve loved each other our whole lives, I think it’s safe to get married…I know that ladies enjoy things like that.” He adds, as if he hasn’t been daydreaming about marrying you since you sent chakra crows to celebrate that occasion for friends of yours.
You arch your brow. “Just ladies, hm?” You tease with a gentle yet mischievous smile.
“Not just, I…I believe you deserve to be a wife and not a girlfriend. That title undermines your importance to me.” He says, cheeks turning red despite your closeness.
You squeeze his hand. “Well, is that your way of proposing, Sasuke?” You whisper, almost afraid of looking up at him for his answer.
He squeezes back. “Yes.”
“Then I say yes.”
He stops walking and looks at you, a soft smile on his face. He holds your cheek and gives you a loving kiss. It says what he cannot find the words to, that you’ve made him the happiest man with that answer, that he wants to have your marriage in order immediately.
“Would you like to have it done here, in the Stone?” You ask, looking over the village you were visiting. To be transparent, you didn’t much care where you were married and you didn’t care for a big party in an event. You would be more than happy to marry Sasuke quietly in the Hidden Stone and have the legal work forwarded to Kakashi to announce the celebration.
“I would like that, dear Y/N.”
And so that’s how it went, you visited the officials in the Hidden Stone and had them perform a short and simple wedding ceremony. You both remained in your regular shinobi clothes, only the giddiness on your face revealed the importance of the situation.
You promised to love and support each other always, be honest and loyal forever, and to respect and honor each other above all else. When the village official pronounces you man and wife, you whoop and holler just to aggravate your new husband. He flusters, the only other person in attendance was the officiant, and even he chuckles at the scene.
“Well go ahead, kids, make it official and kiss!” The old man cheers, his day made by the charm of young love.
You don’t have to be told twice, leaning in to each other for a lengthy union. His lips were always a tad icy, giving you goosebumps every time. Everything else about him was warm, his hand on your face and the care he took in kissing you. Like usual, he rests his forehead against yours. This time his smile is hard to miss.
“My lovely wife.” He muses, proud of himself for making the moves. He wishes Itachi were here to see him, he’s sure he would be proud of his choice of bride. He hopes that Shisui would be happy to see his little sister married to him. This was a long time in the making, fated to the highest degree. You were practically made for each other, and now you two will make a new Uchiha name.
You two continue your missions as husband and wife, the last of the Uchiha united. Another year passes without incident. You miss Kakashi and the rest of your friends, getting word from Gaara in the Sand that Naruto and Hinata were married shortly after Sakura and Rock Lee. It makes you happy to know that all of your classmates were safe and enjoying their lives. Gaara congratulated you two on your marriage, just passing your first anniversary. He graciously offers for Sasuke and yourself to stay in the Sand for around a month or two, in order to rest and help them with some recurring invaders.
The two of you agree to stay, being put up in a nicely sized inn room for the duration of your rest. The Inn reminds you of your birthday treat, and you two can’t help but recreate that night several times over the course of the next two months.
It takes three and a half months to fully absolve Gaara of his concerns with the Sand.
There had been a string of violent robberies in the village, yet it seemed like the perpetrators were traveling into the village each time. It ended up being a team of rogue nin from another village, and you were able to take them into custody easily. Later that day, when debriefing Gaara on the situation, you nearly fainted. You were hit with a bout of lightheadedness and felt yourself fall into the wall that is your husband.
One of the Sand shinobi brought you a chair and Sasuke helped lower you into it. Gaara hummed in concern. “Are you alright, Y/N? Should I send for the medical team?” He asks Sasuke, who looks to you.
You wave off their concerns with a hum. “I’m probably just a little dehydrated, I can check.” You say in an effort to ease their worries. Your palm is covered in your chakra, allowing you to scan your body for any ailment. You place your hand over your kidneys, expecting to see a little damage. You were not expecting what you found instead as you gasp dramatically.
“What is it?” Gaara asks with more concern.
Sasuke crouches beside you, taking your free hand in his own.
“I’m pregnant.” You say softly, lips parted with shock. The room is quiet for a few moments, Sasuke visibly surprised. His hand squeezes yours tighter.
“Congratulations again, you two.” Gaara says with the trace of a smile. “Should I send word, or would you like to keep this between you for now?”
“We need to make arrangements to go back to the Leaf.” Sasuke replies, his mind made up. You still couldn’t quite tell how he was feeling, but you didn’t want him to assume you were useless now.
“Woah, Sasuke, I don’t want to go back home yet. We can wait until I’m further along! We can get so much more done.” You advocate, anchoring the hold on his hand to make him look at you instead of the Kazekage.
“I’ll not have you in harm's way, not now.” He says, effectively dismissing your argument. Anything can happen to you at any time. You’ve just changed his life, the entire way he thinks. He was going to be a father…
He couldn’t risk anything happening to you on this journey. You were the most important person in the world, the thought of anything happening to you already was unnerving but he selfishly wanted you to come along. But now it’s not just you, you were rebuilding the clan, a job much more important than his. He nods to Gaara, as if to say, ignore her and do what I’ve asked. Gaara nods back.
“Sasuke, please, don’t just banish me!” You pout, still worried that he was upset about this surprise. He turns to face you, his features softer than just a few moments ago.
“My love.” He breathes, holding your face and placing a kiss on your forehead. “I’m not punishing you, I could never carry on if something happened to you and now the child. You won’t ever for a moment be alone if you don’t want to be, Kakashi would never forgive me if I didn't send you home. I’ll join you before it’s time, I promise. It’s my job to protect you.” He reminds, smiling softly. It’s a mix of emotion, he doesn’t want to miss you like that ever again. But he had to make a choice for someone other than himself, for you and what’s best for you now that you’re giving him the greatest gift a wife can give her husband, especially in this case.
You reluctantly sigh. He was right, and you knew it. Part of you knew you wouldn’t be able to be a shinobi in the same capacity again, so you wanted to keep fighting to stay.
In the end, Sasuke won. You’ve been back in the Leaf for five months, estimating yourself around six and a half months along at this point. You basically moved back in with Kakashi, who spends all of his spare time preparing for his grandchild. All the ladies of the Leaf are thrilled, doting on you as you dote on them. Many of you are pregnant, hoping for another generation of classmates, you all would joke.
Hinata and you schemed the same way Sasuke’s and your mother did, planning playdates for children that aren’t even here yet. Sasuke was right, you were happier in the village with other women that knew what you were going through and the comfort of Kakashi and Naruto. Sasuke stays by your side in other ways, regularly sending his chakra crow clones to make sure that you and baby are healthy. Being apart this time isn’t as hard as it was before, maybe because you know he’ll come back this time or maybe because your relationship was much more concrete than it had been in years passed. In any event, you were counting down the days until he came home, just missing your lover.
You were over at Naruto and Hinata’s place when Sasuke came home, and he figured that would be the case based on the amount of times his crows had to track you there instead of his apartment or Kakashi’s. Hinata gets the door when you hear the knock, giggling happily at the visitor and escorting him into the living area. Sasuke hums at the sight of you, letting you jump all over him once you’ve realized he’s back.
He chuckles at your behavior, kissing your forehead without embarrassment. Naruto and Sasuke exchange pleasantries, you can tell how the men have missed each other and you make a mental note to let them have some time to catch up soon. He comes back to you, resting his hand gently on the small bump you’ve formed. He thought pregnancy looked amazing on you, and he wondered how it was possible for you to grow even more beautiful to him.
“I missed you.” You hum, resting your hand over his.
“I missed you, my love.” He returned, and the sound of his voice makes your baby kick ferociously. You gasp and then giggle, Sasuke’s brow arching in careful confusion. You move his hand to the location of the kicks, and his eyes widen slightly when he feels the sensation of pressure.
“They like the way your voice sounds, I think.” You giggle again, memorizing his shocked look. It was sweet, he was fascinated by it and couldn’t believe that he was the cause.
“Oh, well, be nice to your mother.” He said, a small grin on his face, his hand moving in subconscious circles over your belly. At this moment, everything is perfect. He never imagined a life like this for himself. His friends laugh and are happy to see him, the woman he’s wanted his entire life is at his side and growing his child in the first step to rebuilding their clan.
You’re at peace, knowing the only thing you’re missing now is Kakashi, who was probably still working hard at keeping the village secure. You’re safe, loved beyond measure, and living the dream. You know your family would be proud of the shinobi and woman you became, and now you can only pass on their memory to the Uchiha you would give life to.
“Would you like to go home?” Sasuke asks, and for the first time, you know exactly where home is.
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tags: @cococola-cocaine @hinari27 @bbylime
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Something I would just like to get off my chest...
Literally I just want to talk my shit. This is just SOME of the shit I'm tired of seeing in my community.
I grew up in a extremely god-fearing Christian home. Most of my childhood years where spent in a church or with my nose stuck into a Bible. It was horrible. When I was 10, I was opened to the world of magic and slowly I realized that what I was reading could be true. I began to research as much as I could and now here we are. But anyways, as I began to expand my craft, I start to find myself with people who also practice!
My first experience with the shit talk in my community was from a witch who came from a long line of witches and claimed they were more powerful then me bc of that....I've never seen them practice or even attempt to practice....and their mother is a wiccan....ok yeah sure ☠️ like first off, literally I don't care, I don't care if your mother is a witch, I don't care that "you are the granddaughter of the witches they didn't burn" ☠️☠️ you can miss me with that. Second off, because they claimed to be a more powerful witch they said they could "mentor" me and teach me the "right ways" and when I said no they then told me I would never be powerful and that they would curse me....where's that curse at girlie???? I do not care for power. I do not care for control. I just want to find harmony with myself and the world.
The second experience I had, AND I KNOW EVERYONE. EVERYONE. HAD THIS HAPPEN TO THEM, was the "I've been practicing for x amount of years so....Im actually better then you" I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I do not give a fuck how long you have been practicing. Here's a real question, why do you, a "experienced" witch, feel the need to invalidate new witches, when your practice is all your own? Are you really practicing if you feel the need to scare and fearmonger newer witches? Why not help them?I remember I was at such and loss starting out because no one would tell me, they would be like "how could you not know that?!?!" Or "I would NEVER make that mistake" it's ok to make mistakes, fuck man 8 years later and I still make mistakes. Also, Witchcraft communities have always been about communicating, when looking for where to began, young witches would TURN TO THEIR ELDERS. Why have we driven away from that? Idk I just feel like if you feel the need to invalidate newer witches, you aren't actually secure in your own practice. So are you really better then me? Or are you just worried I'll become more "powerful" then you?
And I know we've all gone through the "I have the most expensive herbs so my spells are way more powerful" just say you love capitalism ☠️☠️ LMFAOOO the witches I see on tiktok are like the over consumption final boss like holy shit. I literally get everything I need from the forest outside my house, I literally haven't bought anything for my practice in like months because I put my time and energy into what I create for my deities, spells, and rituals. And honestly, Ive had way better results because of it. You don't need all this big fancy stuff, just get started with what you have. Make it your own.
Instead of doing all this, mind your business, stay to YOUR craft, and if someone asks for help you can give them what you can. Literally just be a nice person Jesus fucking Christ. Just be a nice person. The entire reason I made this blog was for witches who needed someone to push them in the right direction. This post was me talking shit, if you feel called out....then consider this a sign to try to be better, there's always a chance to start again. And also, in no way am I bashing witches who come from a long line of witches, that shit is cool as hell, I'm just saying when you use it just to be cool and not practice, bc i hate to break it to you but if you don't practice like at all, not even attempt to start, then you aren't a witch my guy im sorry being born into a witch family doesn't automatically make you a witch, you have to carve that shit out for yourself. But anyways it's 1am I'm tired I honestly have no idea why I wrote this. Ok bye.
#witchcraft#hellenic deities#hellenic pagan#hellenic worship#hellenism#aphrodite#pagan#hekate#paganism#please dont come for me this is just my opinion#chaos shit talks
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