#and i want to do it so bad
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the “change yourself to look like him” urges are getting harder and harder to control :)
#yes this is about benrey hlvrai#no i will not go into further detail its embarrassing#ok i lied i’ll go into detail but i’ll be incredibly vague about it#basically i have this hc for one of benrey’s physical characteristics#and i kin benrey#however this physical characteristic that i hc that benrey has is unfortunately very different from the physical characteristic that i have#in fact they’re opposites#now its important to note that im insane#and bc i kin benrey and am insane i want to be just like him in every aspect possible#and i have the ability to change this physical characteristic of mine to match benrey’s#and i want to do it so bad#but im scared#im scared i wont like the results#and im not sure how to go about doing it bc of how my body works#so im not going to do it#but my god the urges are getting stronger#tldr: im crazy LMAO
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I’m sorry but I will truly never get over Ekko who lost his mentor and all his friends at a young age, then spent the rest of his childhood building a beautiful and strong community that helped get shimmer addicts off the streets and give them a new life that thrived off of trust, respect, and loyalty while slowly watching the girl he loves lose herself to her psyche and become an unhinged suicidal terrorist who he is unable to save despite repeated attempts at it. And THEN gets booted into an alternate reality where he learns he could have had EVERYTHING, the beautiful and thriving community, the education, his family, and the girl he loves and he heartbreakingly leaves it all behind because he knows he doesn’t belong there and he has to go back to save his people which he DOES multiple times at great risk despite knowing what overextending his z-drive could do only to end up completely alone in the end. The most selfless character in the entire series. That’s my boy savior.
#Ekko I love you so much#I wanted a happy ending for him so bad#FINE I’ll do it myself#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#ekko#ekko arcane#timebomb
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
#it's bad if you want i have sex it's also bad if you DON'T want to have sex#god forbid if you're a woman in a heterosexual marriage and aren't in the mood#that's 'withholding sex' and you're clearly abusive scum who should be divorced and left without any of your shared assets.#but if you DO have sex now you're a degenerate freak plotting for the downfall of western society#i don't know what to say i'm just so tired#politics#culture#queerphobia#lgbtqia#misogyny#<it's not the exclusive source but let's be honest sooo much of this is integral to the patriarchy#patriarchy needs access to an underclass they can treat like sex objects but they also don't want them to have any human rights#so sexuality is both obligatory and stigmatized#purity culture#i'm really struggling with tagging this because most of the appropiate tags would- in a beautiful twist of irony- get me booted off tumblr
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one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."
I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.
#example: a 'friend' in middle school told me I should ask a guy out. she said 'he'll totally say yes'.#he did not. which was the obvious outcome#but it took me years to realize that she'd said that hoping to fuel some drama for her own entertainment.#ANOTHER EXAMPLE#a guy in college approached me saying that he'd been seeing me around campus but was always too shy to talk to me#and that he really wanted to get to know me#so I was like wow 🥺 romance 🥺 and hopped into bed with him#and afterward I was like what do you wanna do 😊 should we see a movie 😊 should we go out 😊#and he was like nope. byeeee.#and I realized I got bamboozled into sex#total shocked pikachu face#I'm still not the best at this tbh. I'm like 'why would this person lie to me. lying is bad'.#anyway this is why I not looking forward to entering the dating world again#DONT BAMBOOZLE ME I'M GULLIBLE
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Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.
#katniss everdeen#the hunger games trilogy#the hunger games#primrose everdeen#hunger games#batcavescolony reads the hunger games#suzanne collins#'now it seems i have become someone precious' NOW? GIRL BFFR you're their hunter girl#and this isn't negative just bffr girl#your WHOLE DISTRICT did the three finger salute that you yourself says means admiration thanks and goodbye to someone you love and on top is#old a rarely used. your WHOLE DISTRICT decided in that moment that they needed to bring back this sign of respect for YOU#...................................................................#idk why some people are thinking i mean this as negative i don't she is unreliable but its not intentional. like when Peeta heart stoped in#CF she doesn't know what Finnick is doing at first cus she doesn't know off the top of her head what cpr is. she also thinks Peeta after the#reaping is acting for the cameras. he isnt we dind out later his mom basically told him Katniss was gonna win and he would die. obviously#shes not doing it on purpose shes just for lack of better words uneducated? as in she doesn't know everything shes not omnipotent#so when Plutarch (? second games guy) shows her his mokingjay hiden watch shes like *wtf that's weird?* then the people traveling to#district 13 show her the mockingjay cookie and explains it and she then goes on the difference between his watch and their cookie#and why does eveyone act as if district 12 is as bad as the capital? they CANT help Katniss and Prim in the way you want. they cant give#them food. none of them have any! and im not putting iton Katniss but they hid they needed food so they could stay together. it sounds like#some of you are in this our world mentally of what people do after a loved one dies (brings food constantly checks on them etc) district 12#cant do that. they dont have food and they're all suffering. you cant give someone food when you have none to give. then theirs the fact#that peeta DID help. Peeta buring the bread and tossing some to her then taking a beating from his mom is a HUGE thing in the books.#he used his resources to help her like you all said someone should.#district 12 DID (rip) care about Katniss before the hunger games. why do you think she was allowed to hunt? or how her trades were good#these are the little ways 12 can shows Katniss they love her. but again Katniss doesn't see this and YES its because she had ptsd before the#hunger games as well. i swear some of you make it seem like d12 was all living a life of luxury and glaring down at Katniss.#other things that show Katniss is in hight standing with at least her people of d12 is her dad was known enough through d12 for peeta dad to#comment on his singing along with his commenting on her mom. also her mom is a healer in the community. yeah her parents arnt the top but#of d12 but they are/were definitely high staning in the Seam.
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when i was a kid i wanted to be a famous youtuber like dan and phil so that people would gay ship me with my irl best friend and we would be sooo weirded out by it and laugh and make videos joking about it but secretly it would make her realize her repressed gay crush on me and i'd help her through her gay crisis and then we would have a sickeningly sweet sappy romance and read fanfiction about ourselves together... anyways just found out she's married to a guy in the mafia now so i probably don't have a chance
#dan and phil fanfiction changed me#come into my lady door#and teen me saw that and went “i need to be that so fuckan bad”#i wanted to be dan but now that im a mature adult i understand that phil is better. phil guy 5ever nowadays#do i tag this as dan and phil. i still dont know tumblr site tagging norms and im like a year in now#dan and phil#dnp#phan
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trick or treat!
#my art#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#maki zenin#yuta okkotsu#inumaki toge#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#u could argue that the spoilers r hidden by the costumes but idw take my chances#i havent posted art in a billion years i feel like a fraud and i am going to get a bad grade in tumblr dot com#so i am posting these early idc anymore#i still have probably one more halloween draws i plan on posting but im cracking i want these out of my drafts Now#these KILLED ME#i miss drawing fast i miss it so badddddd#dont get me wrong the costume design ws so fun i loved it but god did it take ages#but on the bright side. yuuji in a toga.#on another bright side. little devil nobara n cowgirl maki#on yet anotHER bright side. eldritch horror pandachu#these costumes eat if i do say so myself ghjsdfkgjf undead inuokko makes me so happy also they r so cute#not to mention megumi in his gay little hat god i made itfs so obnoxiously flirty in this#remember when i said the timeskip art ws the least heterosexual group photo i've ever drawn i take it back#theyre disgusting . save nobara episode 356325746732#anyway happy 10 days early halloween <3#i will try to not take a whole week to finish the last piece(s)
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A h-heartfelt reunion..?
Bonus
#Sir Crocodile#Monkey D Dragon#Emporio Ivankov#Dragodile#Crocodad#My art#One Piece#We're not gonna talk about the work I should be doing rn I have Severe Procrastinitis and I'm doing my best okay#Alternative version where it was both Crocodile and Garp beating Dragon's ass before Iva-chan joined in but that was too much effort lmao#I'm a believer in Dragon being a Wind Logia so don't worry guys he is 100% taking this beating intentionally#He knows what he did and he's dealing with the concequences of his actions. With grace.#You know I realize Iva-chan should be two whole meters taller than Crocodile but we're just gonna ignore that#Look Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and being like ''Crocoboy is right you fucked up bad Dragon'' brings me joy#And for real I've been wanting to draw this for months. But never did because I had other shit to do. Which I still do#But. You know. Sometimes you need to draw a shitpost. It's ✨ self-care ✨#And appearently One Piece shitpost comics have become the thing I draw for myself on occassion
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I mean this came from me seeing the meme template randomly, but similar enough to my vision, I guess
I forget meme templates and PNGs exist
He misses his husband, Jazz. He misses him a lot. He’ll be back
#I still want to do that comic#but I can at least do this for now#exam went pretty well#it was also over Europe though so it wasn’t too bad#anyways sorry random#I feel like this is Optimus’ thoughts after the movie#only time will tell if they will be undoomed#transformers#transformers one#optimus prime#megatron#megop#meme#random stuff
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senshi fans: learning how to make nutritious meals for themselves
laios fans: down bad
marcille fans: lesbianism
chilchuck fans: putting that man in situations
#this is what I've observed over the past few weeks#it's great#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#senshi#laois touden#marcille donato#chilchuck#2000+ notes later and I'm starting to think i read y'all to filth#with exception to senshi fans also being down for him#update at 9000 notes: you can like laois for autism reasons and still be down bad#some of y'all in the tags and fics are down bad for laois in mental way#like you want him to be real so you can do brain crazy with him do you understand
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Every time that the stakes are now So So So high in Doctor Who I'm like. Congratulations to Fourteen for well and truly fucking off. His ass is NOT dealing with death gods his ass is trying to get rid of the spider mites on the basil
#doctor who#it's so funny. to be clear i dont want him to show up. it's just so goddamn funny to be like theres another doctor out there#and he is not doing SHIT#other! peoples! problemssss!!!!#meanwhile fifteen is like hey. im doin real bad :)#what if the doctor just keeps bigenerating to go retire with donna. fifteen is like im out sixteen this is your problem now
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lived my whole life in guilt bc i thought i was responsible for people's feelings. newly realizing that other people are responsible for their feelings and reactions, even if they make it seem like i'm the problem. a lot of the time it really has to do w them and their own emotional regulation. i can't keep thinking i'm not allowed to have space bc of other people's insecurities. like i literally refuse to dim myself. other people are responsible for their feelings just as i'm responsible for mine.
#like i'm always gonna operate from a place of kindness but i've had to deal w so many people who're bad at communication/confrontation#which led me to think i'm the problem#that i deserve to be given the silent treatment or dismissed disregarded belittled etc#that's j not true. i'm far from perfect but i think so few people deserve that kind of reaction. and my biggest revelation is i do not#even if people want to make me think i do / that their reaction is justified / that i'm a burden etc#my biggest problem is i humor people like this for too long bc it's been normalized behavior to me#does this make any sense to anyone. it's the end of the year and i'm reflecting on so many things#p
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so I started playing stardew valley, and now it's the only thing I want to do with my life
I had to trick myself by drawing stardew things, namely krobus my beloved
#my brain is screaming at me for posting at a bad hour#but when it comes to me doing things if i dont finish them in one sitting i never do#so I want to post it now#please be kind to me and rb it to prove my brain it's fine#krobus#stardew valley#stardew#stardew valley krobus#sdv krobus#void chicken#strange bun#art#stardew fanart#digital art#artists on tumblr#my art#artist#drawing#digital artist
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I don't like this place. It's turning everyone edgy and sad.
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#undertale#deltarune#crossover#utdr#crossover comic#twin runes comic#twin runes au#my art#art#susie deltarune#chara#this will ignite the “chara did nothing wrong” vs “chara is a murder hobo” debate I just know it#fact is they gave up everything for their plan to succeed and asriel blew it#HOWEVER they were also forced to watch asriel die and they could do nothing about it#so what does a dead child do for who knows how many years all alone with no one else to talk to?#they rethink everthying that went wrong#guilt is a weird thing that lingers and festers in your mind#no matter how much you're actually at fault#I mean come on... they were an abused kid#all they wanted was to not hurt anymore and return the love they were given no matter the cost#but now they are CONVINCED it was their plan that kickstarted this whole mess#and it's eating at them#you can see it because they actually used contractions for once#i love subtle stuff like that#also hey#susie's feeling remorse for her whole “chara offed asriel” comment#the two are more alike than she thought and now she feels bad#out of all people she should know what it's like to be falsely accused
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Regulus: sitting in James’ lap, clearly upset
James: What’s the matter?
Regulus: (aggressively) My brother.
James: What about him?
Regulus: He’s over there being gross and kissing Remus.
James: And this is bad because…
Regulus: Because if I tell him to stop then he’ll call me a hypocrite and tell me to get off of you.
James: Ah, and we can’t have that.
Regulus: (snuggling closer) No, we can’t.
#jegulus#marauders#marauders era#regulus black#james potter#wolfstar#sirius black#remus lupin#starchaser#james x regulus#sunseeker#marauders fandom#I genuinely get so much rage when I see my siblings doing something that I do that I don’t want them to do#I’m a bad influence 😭
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