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#and i try to make it more fun because it is easier to do when im turned on
meo-eiru · 2 days
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meruuuuu! Can I perhaps know how you learnt Japanese? I don’t really know if you learnt because you lived there or anything, so I don’t really want to assume, but if you did learn by taking classes or something can you please point the way for me 🙏🙏
I’ve wanted to learn a second language for a while but I have no idea where to start!
Ok so back when I was in 7th grade, a young weeb who was learning the big world of anime for the first time, I was really into Naruto. And I had another friend who was into Naruto who was way ahead of me. So since I really wanted to catch up to her I'd watch like 11 episodes of Naruto a day with subs. By the time I was done (watched other shows too) I realized my ear had gotten used to Japanese and I could understand the gist of sentences just by hearing them.
I didn't want it to just stop there tho so in 11th grade I started actually studying. You see Japanese has 3 alphabets; hiragana, katakana, kanji. Hiragana and katakana are easier since they are more like learning your a,b,c's. I focused there first and used duolingo to memorize them. Now I won't recommend duolingo for actually learning japanese but it's good for memorizing the alphabet if you are consistent. I'd also solve a lot of hiragana and katakana tests online to test myself.
Once I made sure I got the hang of it I started kanji. For kanji I use wanikani, it's an amazing site when it comes to learning kanji and vocabulary I'd 100% recommend it. I was lucky to not need to study grammar since Japanese sentence structure is already the same as my mother tongue Turkish.
Last winter I managed to pass JLPT N3 and this winter I'll try out N2.
Long story short definitely immerse yourself. Find a type of media of the language you want to learn and consume it lots. This could be tv shows, youtube videos, podcasts, music, games. Just hearing the language constantly will help you a lot. And be consistent with it, turn it into a daily activity, a hobby. If you do it for a week then stop you won't learn anything. Find ways to make it fun for you
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fuck-customers · 2 days
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I'm so devastated
I LOVED this job when I first started 4 years ago. It was a bit tedious work but the culture of the company more than made up for it
I really felt like they cared. They looked out for us during the pandemic, sending care packages and organizing online social events that were actually fun.
The benefits were amazing, I was even able to get gender-affirming care through them, I came out as non-binary and it was welcomed!
It was truly a wonderful place to work.
And then the founder left. Retired to focus on his side business. And I felt it then, I knew things were going to go badly.
Sure enough, slowly but surely, things started to change.
They forced everyone into a hybrid model, even though before it was a choice to WFH. They did it in the name of culture and making meetings easier, but half my team is across the country. Most days I'm alone and I talk to nobody for all 8 hours.
They split my department in half, outsourcing 80% of the work to another company, who don't know how to handle the issues properly and it shows. Our customer satisfaction dropped SIGNIFICANTLY and I'm spending most of my day fixing mistakes the other company made.
Then they started backing these projects that everyone knew wasn't going to work, and sure enough, they didn't, and they laid off 20 people in the name of "being streamlined and nimble" (their exact words).
My husband (who worked at the same company in a different department) got fired because of an executive throwing a tantrum. It was either him or his whole team and he took the blame so they wouldn't all lose their jobs.
And because they swapped to a merit based raise increase (aka constantly be doing more work year over year) I haven't gotten a raise in 3 years and I barely get enough to cover our bills alone BARELY but my husband's unemployment is about to run out cause the gaming industry SUCKS and finding a job is really hard, and I'm not sure how we're going to get food.
I've been working every overtime and holiday shift they'll approve, but I'm also trying to lose weight so I can qualify for a necessary surgery, and I'm just so fucking exhausted all the damn time.
I hate this place. And it's so much worse because I used to love it. It used to be amazing. I used to think I would be there for a long time, at least until I got my own business up.
They crushed that dream too. Had to drain everything I'd saved up for it.
I hate them so much
Posted by admin Rodney
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l0stfoster · 1 day
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I wanna know more about the harpies they interest me so deeply ‼️
HARPIES TALK TIME!! They're some of my favorites to think about. I'm gonna re-post the little bits of info about them from the original post ab Cursed here, just so this can be like a little collective master list of Harpy info :D INFO BELOW THE CUT BECAUSE I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON!!! If I add more info about harpies I'll likely edit this post
- All the greaser Harpies look out for one another. It doesn't matter if they're not from the same gang, or if their gangs have tension; you look out for one another. They may necessarily not be each other's flock, but it’s natural for them to stick together. - They flock together as much as they do because a harpy escaped Tulsa once, completely disappeared, and it set all the east side harpies into a panic. They can't leave Tulsa, so it's better to always have a connection to ensure you won't HAVE to leave. - The harpies love to play fight. They will absolutely beat the shit out of each other and then grab lunch as if nothing happened. All of the harpies have bird habits too. Most of them sleep on their stomach because catching your feathers underneath yourself when sitting up hurts. - Gifting culture and flock marking with feathers is a huge thing for them all. Almost all harpies have feathers from other harpies, though the symbolism with those isn't for flock marking and stands more as a general display of loyalty. - All harpies have an inherent aversion/fear of cats since felines are a pretty big predator to birds. Even harpies of birds of prey or the birds you'd traditionally see that go for cats have that built-in instinct to avoid. (Little fun fact, they're not fans of Umbra, and Paul abuses that. He has let Umbra gnaw on Tim's feathers before out of spite) - Not a single harpy can see glass, they're all victims to the DX windows. - Pretty much all of them can enter torpor willingly as well. Some do it more often than others, it's a preference thing. - Most of the harpies can't fly well in rain, it's just difficult in most weather conditions that aren't clear skies. However, bad weather doesn't stop them from trying; it just means there's an increase in broken bones and hurt birds for a day. - All of them can chirp, coo, whistle, copy voices, etc. Certain harpies are better at it, as the kind of bird they are makes it either easier or harder. The Shepards are a good example, being black vultures and all. Vultures don't have voice boxes and usually make low growling sounds instead of other noises. But since the shepherds are harpies and not full birds, they can make normal bird chitters and such but it’s raspy because they’re not really supposed to be able to make those noises. - They're very territorial by nature. - They generally don't eat bird meat for cultural reasons, but every now and then the birds of prey and scavengers do. It's sort of in their nature to be uneasy about it, though, and they're not fond of watching people eat bird meat either. - They all have hollow bones, so they're pretty damn light. - A lot of them affection bite. - One baby harpy gets adopted by pretty much any harpy in the proximity. Two's sister was a victim of every Harpy taking the chance to fly with her, preen her, etc. It's like that motherly thing where moms will whip around if they hear any child yell "mama", only it's that the harpies will be up and arms the second a baby harpy makes a sound. - On that note, though, the babies get bulled (lightly) for their goofy-looking wings. Mostly the ones who look like blended cotton balls as babies. Some baby birds are REALLY ugly. - They have a really good sense of smell and even better eyesight. I would not want one of them hunting me down. - Their talons are hella sharp and their nails usually get sharp as fuck too.
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saxandviolins88 · 9 hours
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TF: ONE - My thoughts
Spoilers? All of them
First of all, Transformers as a franchise and cinema have a tumultuous relationship. The 86 movie is definitely dear to me, but I can't deny it was made with a clear commercial purpose, and it shows how eager they were to clear the cast and add new toys. It has interesting ideas, sure, but those ideas were only to gain form in the third season of the cartoon (which is good, you guys are just mean.)
Now the Bay movies... It may come as a shock to all of you, but I actually enjoy those movies, not as a Transformers fan but as an enjoyer of non-sensical gory violence and cool robots. Though these movies succeed in being brain fodder, anytime they try to tell a compelling story (if they even try), they fall flat; not only for not understanding the characters people love... but also not understanding their own characters and universe. So when the worst qualities of Bay join together in a confused movie with bad designs and sub-par action... You get franchise killer TF5. (fun fact, but that was the first TF movie I sat down to watch and try to get into the franchise... it took a few years for me to recover...)
After that, TF movies turned into course correction and tried to get TF back into the mainstream. Don't get me wrong, TF IS mainstream... But movies are what the public wants. (easier to consume and don't waste your time.)
I gonna say, the Bumblebee movie is a good movie... With TF things slapped on it. Generally speaking, Bumblebee (2018) is a modern Herbie, the Love Bug, a Travis Knight vanity project. I'm being a little evil here, but it is what it is.
Now... ROTB... It is a movie. It has all the aesthetics of a movie... And there are transforming robots in it. Look, I like ROTB, I saw it on debut day and I was hyped, but it makes so many weird decisions... From Optimus's weird unfocused character arc, Unicron... Mirage... if I can even call him that. It's a bullet-list movie with a few funny moments. Oh and Beast Wars cast, but they're the most nothing-burger characters ever in that movie.
NOW TF: ONE
It is a good movie!
A course correction movie, but a good movie. It's a more or less safe bet by Hasbro. It hits the re-start button, so new audiences won't be intimidated by MCU-ness AND it is animated, easy cash with the kids and their parents who'll have to buy two tickets.
ANIMATION AND VISUALS
They fucking lied when they said it was "spider-verse levels", like bruh.
BUT the animation of TF: ONE is very good. Sure, some places had more care than others, but the final product wasn't affected and it was a smart choice. I'm more impressed by the fight scenes, which are well choreographed and spaced while using the characters' transformations creatively - and in that, I have to commend TF: ONE for doing something I always wanted to see - transformation isn't something these characters just happen to be able to do, it's an essential part of who they are and this also plays into the plot. Another thing I'm very pleased with is the character acting in general, you get the feel these animated robots are real people, and this is done through their facial expressions and body language (though, this is more notable on D-16 and Orion Pax.) The designs are nothing to write home about, serviceable at best, and boring at worst. Still, I'll have to give this one to Megatron, but ONLY because he hasn't had a good tank design since... I wanna say Armada, but part of me says it's G2. Sentinel Prime is boring, but he has the fucking Titans Return toy knees, wth? Great design just on this basis.
Now WRITING AND GENERAL PLOT.
One thing I'll applaud this movie for: It knows what it is.
When I saw the first trailer, I had a nagging feeling in the back of my skull that this would be one of those movies... where it promises you stuff while not doing it and overstuffing it with half-assed characters, thoughtless plot points, and uninspired dialogue. (I'm a DC fan, I see the abysm every year or so... Kal-el no😦!)
Well, I am happy to say that wasn't the case.
If I had to describe TF:ONE in one(lol) word, it would be: focused.
It knows its runtime, it knows its audience(s) and it knows the franchise(the good, the bad, and the controversial.) It's a break-up story between two friends - where one falls from grace and the other ascends.
I found this movie quite enjoyable in the dialogue and character writing aspect too. Each character feels distinct enough and they're so quippy, it's a joy to watch them talk to each other. However, the crux of this story is D-16 and Orion, and they REALLY succeded in selling not only their friendship but also the rift in their relationship. This movie isn't afraid to touch on some dark themes; a political scandal disguising itself as a MacGuffin hunt is very welcomed in the MacGuffin Hunt franchise. (still has a MacGuffin tho, it's logically IMPOSSIBLE to write a Transformers story without a MacGuffin)
Sentinel is a perfectly serviceable villain, uniting all existing versions(minus G1) into the ultimate jackass. D-16 is a good voice of reason that breaks into Megatron, his descent into evilness was believable enough for the runtime. Orion is the hero's journey circle. Elita-1 is a supporting character who sometimes delves too much into Hollywood girl boss, but at least they didn't insert the inevitable romance in this movie but still made her valuable to Optimus. Badassatron is a funny comedic relief that could be removed without changing the plot too much (and he didn't have any reason to be Bumblebee.)
To cut an already long post short. I expect the sequel to focus on the Quintessons, I do NOT care about more thirteen primes content (MAKE IT STOOOOOOP), and I also really want them to keep Megatron complex (make him doubt his cause, make him remember his gay little roommate, DO something with the character you've developed.)
and uh... just so I don't lose my brand
*cough cough*
I want the Constructicons in: "TF: ONE: 2: Electric Boogaloo"
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good-beanswrites · 9 months
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My lyrics for Double!! I really loved this song and became like a thousand times more impressed by Deco27 and Natsuki Hanae after working with it for so long 😅 I chickened out of recording this one in the apartment but if anyone wants to cover it... lmk.... 👀 I can definitely put something together to help hear how the rhythms work, because I got it all to line up very nicely! (Lyrics under the cut and my little commentary in the tags)
(I’ve got you, leave it to me!)
Welcome home, it's another day, keeping things at bay, you see no change
Not a smile in this mess, you're doing your best, you say (wake up)
"Don't need a break" as you proceed to start breaking, both sleeping and waking makes you bleed
And now, reborn anew -- I'll take in on for you
Not your plan? Who gives a damn, I'm here and here is where I'll stay
It's just the two of us, nothing left to run from. You're safe now, your hero's come.
All I did was dream, is that a crime? Is that enough to name me guilty by?
"He can't be trusted, he lied," you cried. Made me out as the bad guy. But why?
Ah, I'm the one that saved you, don't you see? So tell me why the hell you cry to me!
Let me hear you revel, grateful, cling to me with "savior," "adore" -- oh, sing to me.
Welcome home, it's another day, keeping things at bay, you see no change
Too late, your limits passed. Too late, yourself has cracked (goodnight)
If you persist I'll assist with releasing, keeping your peace is why I exist
And now reborn anew -- I'll take it on for you
(Oh, hello? Mom? It’s been a while. Yeah.. well, I mean, some days are hard but I’m doing alright, don’t worry. How’ve you been? I’ll go home next time I get some time off...)
The reason I'm alive, must be making sure that you survive
"He can't be trusted, he lied," you cried. Made me out as the bad guy. But why?
All I did was dream, did you forget? Go on and forgive me, I'm no threat.
Listen to me confess, honest. Eat your words and I bet, regret
Ah, I just tried to help, tried to be strong. So tell me why the hell it's all gone wrong
Let me hear you revel, grateful, cling to me with "savior," "adore" -- don't sing me this song
Lost my memory
I'm double, it was unavoidable
Living painfully
I'm trying, as hard as possible
Tell me, tell me.
If I wasn't born, maybe this trouble --
Tell me, tell me.
It's all my fault
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yaoianime · 6 months
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Soon im rly gonna do it
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#🕸️#sui mention#< in the tags tho cuz it feels nicer to talk abt this in tags than in the post itself cuz to me posts are like talking normally but tags are#like whispering? talking you can tune out if you want but whispering is rather more voluntary to say it doesnt matter however#every single year passes and i wish i didnt live in each and every one of them i feel disconnected dissatisfied empty disappointed every day#it can be a small part of a day or a bigger but its still there clenching onto me like and never letting go im tired of it theres always a#wall between me and otyer ppl im unsure if i put it there or was it put there by other ppl but its there and even if anyone tries to reach#into it do i understand how even if close are we really far away it makes me understand just how much of an abnormality i am and how much i#cant ever be like them no matter how much i try and climb and crawl until i bleed its exhausting its maddening#almost everything i do is shaped by spite i wear one bracelet for years out of spite i dont smoke out of spite i dont shave my hands not#only because im normal abt body hair but also out of spite the more i know ppl the spiteful i get only way for me to truly like someone is#to keep them at a lenght outside that wall if they get in then theres only two choices for them to dislike me or even hate my entire being#or me to shove them back out without ever letting them get in#coworkers say im a nice kind person but im not its all just a facade to make my life easier and to suit myself im hateful but i dont believe#its entirely my fault after all they will to my face make fun of. laugh at. and hate everything of me they would see in other ppl that dont#hide it deep within like i do and then it rly hits me how different abnormal foul disgusting and unnatural i am#im hit with his every talk that goes on too long every word that keeps going every touch every expression every comment made on my behalf#its exhausting to live this way i fear im near my limit i havent reached it but who knows when i will#i sometimes dream of doing it and leaving behind a note wishing nothing but painful suffering to everyone i ever knew irl but i dont want to#do that to my best friends and my dog but who knows how long its left before the thread breaks#thats all like comment and subscribe if you personally would do me a favor by taking me out back and shooting me
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aliusfrater · 5 days
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i hateee the way the supernatural narrative sets up like. relationship conflict through fault because i feel like it's counterintuitive to understanding characterisations and relationship dynamics
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#it’s weird because i always know before it’s even said#but it still hurts each time?#wild#hitting on some real tender spots that i thought i left behind years ago#it’s not. like. punch to the gut whole world seems wrong level.#it’s more like a short sharp stab in my heart the size of a pencil#but it’s still definitely not fun#especially with everything else going on#just. overwhelmingly bad timing for me personally which is wildly selfish#but i think i’m allowed to feel that way so long as i don’t let if affect the way i act#still very much trying not to pull away#and that’s kind of really fucking hard#because it’s so much easier to make the decision myself#but i’ve learned from my mistakes and i don’t plan on hurting anyone like that again if i can help it#i just. i’m tired. i’m tired of putting on a brave face for everyone and still not doing a great job at it.#my friend today said ‘you’re allowed to be grumpy’ before we hung out and that felt really good#and i found that i didn’t even have to put on a brave face around her or pretend to not be grumpy#i just wasn’t grumpy anymore#so that was definitely nice#there are good things in my life!#and i know this#it’s just hard when so much is changing at the same time and it definitely doesn’t feel#like it’s for the better#but: i have my friends and i’m going back to school#(both of which are actually also causes of stress rn but ALSO sources of joy and excitement)#anyway glad i can talk here#kinda want to cut my chest open and bleed out the painful bits#but talking is a decent alternative#personal
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ahhhhh i’m so fucking close to getting the IN 1cc but Reisen keeps wearing me down to where i can’t clear Kaguya but the last two runs i’ve had have made it to her final spell (i can only do about 1 or 2 runs a day cuz the malice cannon puts a lot of strain on my wrist) and in all honesty i probably shoulda beat it the last time my first 3 stages were the best they’d ever been and i sightread Keine’s Last Spell but stage 4 was p rough for me but that was my fault for streaming and talking and not paying attention. reimu’s like danmaku barrier is definitely like a top 3 spellcard for me along w okuu’s final spell because it’s just so much fun and a really cool concept i think anyways goodnight
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I love those scenes where the character has clearly beat the crap out of someone but they’re framing it in a different way
Current thoughts are a substitute Human teacher, doing their best to stay calm and dignified around the parents but getting sick of the xenophobic ones who keep encouraging their kids to be dicks
A, with some suspicious spots of green on them and a bloody nose: Me and your father simply had a constructive conversation on how hate is very much an emotion, one that can lead to other destructive things like anger and violence, I gave him a firsthand look at some evidence supporting my stance and he had to agree with my point, so of course, as your father, he wouldn’t want to encourage hatred against Humans in you
A: So I really think it best if you apologize to the other child, run along now, your father will be with you momentarily after he concludes his…meeting with our school nurse
#ya’ll aren’t getting the full picture so this character probably sounds more like mirror verse Amanda#but they’re v different#substitute teacher is inaccurate but I didn’t wanna get into full details in the body of the post#they’re an academy student helping out an experimental class as coursework#the experimental class is taking a diverse group of kids and getting them adjusted to what their lives would look like in space#so that it’ll be an easier adjustment when their families move to space bases#they’re specifically diverse to help eliminate any xenophobia before they’re surrounded by an even more diverse population#anyways they’re only supposed to be doing a little bit of work for this class#teaching for like an hour or so a couple days a week#because they’re still a student this is just a coursework thing#but they have some really annoying coworkers who keep trying to dump their own coursework onto them#(not all their coworkers just some)#so currently they’re really tired really overworked really annoyed#and every time they make headway with the kids their parents undo all their hard work#which lead to the above situation#annoying xenophobic Vulcan parent#because I’m thinking about Stonn rn#made up dialogue by yours truly#usually it’s fun thoughts with this character#like wrangling the kids to have a field trip at an aquarium#or thinking of situations where one of the kids sees them outside of the classroom and now they gotta switch to ‘professional mode’#so they still look dignified to the kid#while their classmates are like ‘who tf are you and where did you hide our friend’#because they’re not used to their friend trying to act almost emotionless#(they don’t fully try to act like a Vulcan but it helps the kids not be overstimulated if they’re much calmer and stuff than they normally#are)#tumblr is being weird I hope all my tags show#not sure how to tag this since I’m talking about a trope?#I guess no fandom for now
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deadrlngers · 2 years
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— OCS AND TRAGIC HORROR TROPES.
i was tagged by @florbelles @henrytlney @denerims @jillvalcntines @devilbrakers @indorilnerevarine @swordcoasts @nuclearstorms to take this quiz for my ocs, thank you all soso much!!!
tagging: i'm pretty sure this made the rounds already jsfkjfkd so i'm not directly tagging anyone but if you see this and want to give it a shot just say i tagged you!! <3
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THE FINAL GIRL
the final girl comes out the other end of trauma alive- or, they were supposed to. honestly, you're not so sure you're really alive anymore. you saw the same hurt take those you were closest to while everyone paraded your bruises as bravery, as strength, as if you're the hero. and it hurts. you're tired and you don't want to have to be brave anymore. whatever you went through, it changed so much of who you were that you're still getting used to the person you see in the mirror. you didn't have a say in any of it, but you're here now, and that's gotta count for something. you'll make it count for something. but first, you need to let yourself find rest.
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FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER
this plight is the simplest of them all: you did not ask for this. you were never given a choice. no part of yourself feels human, just a collection of traits you've picked up from mirroring anyone you could, even the people you meet through a television screen. it's alienating to live that way- yet someone has called you the alienating one. maybe too many people to count. maybe they treated you so uncomfortably inhuman that it's all you can understand now, or you've dug yourself into such a deep hole in an attempt to keep safe that you can't remember a person living in the home of your body at all. being alive is confusing and painful and lonely and loud but living is all there is to being human- you're already there. just take air into your lungs and breathe. close your eyes and picture a beautiful sky. you made that. you painted that yourself.
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THE VAMPIRE
it is the loneliest day of a vampire's life, the first time they look into a mirror and see their reflection missing. drinking blood sucks too, don't get me wrong, but as a vampire you had to learn to hide from the sunlight, from your family, all your friends, because you were unavoidably different now and you didn't know how to explain that to them in a way they would understand. you could get stranger's blood in bursts, but what is life when you can't know someone for longer than the night lasts? you left everything behind because it was easier than trying to tell them. i just hope you know you're not the only vampire out there, and that there exist people who will understand your situation without a word. they'll sit with you in the dark for as long as you'll need them to.
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glitter50000 · 2 years
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bitches be getting so happy watching the darkling being portrayed as a villain and a toxic lover. It’s me, I’m bitches
#I won with this season in so many ways#Like just watching him be all fucked up and evil I loved seeing it#I love watching his POV and agreeing with him sometimes but also just being like “you bitch” as well#And the way how he was with Alina made my hair stand up as it should and I’m glad it did#I dunno it’s just more fun to me to see him as a villain cause then those moments of humanization really just shine through for me#And I just never really liked when ppl would say how he wasn’t one just because of his cause or his past#And I agree it’s not for his cause that he’s a villain but his actions instead#The thing is saying he’s not a villain is like erasing all the ugly traits he has when those traits help make up his character to me#Like he wanted to help and he wants love but he’s clingy he’s needy he’s lonely he’s delusional he’s got little to none morals he’s tired#He’s fucking pissed he’s possessive cause he had nothing and he’s saying fuck this country actually#It’s having more then 400 years of vengeance and hatred just boiling in you because you saw the worst this country offered#It’s him being like “you are going to like what I am doing for us even if I have to shove it down your stupid throat”#It’s how he was a good person and he was trying to help at one point but overtime it just became “my way is the right way and the ONLY way”#He uses fear because it’s easier and he was taught long long ago that it’s a powerful ally#but something he forgot is that use it too much and now it’s a double edge sword#sab spoilers#shadow and bone netflix#shadow and bone season 2#aleksander morozova#Does this make sense?#Like it’s not JUST Ravka’s corrupt system that made him who he is it’s himself as well so to say he isn’t a villain or an antagonist or#that it’s just Ravka’s fault is I dunno I guess erasing his part and his choices to me in doing this#Like the whole thing is that he doesn’t want redemption nor does he ask to be forgiven
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radioactive-cloud · 5 months
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i'm tipsy and sad and i just want to matter and not to feel like this
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catgirldyke · 6 months
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vent post
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killerpancakeburger · 1 month
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Thinking about a Reader who ends up having Scary Dog Privileges with Ghost without meaning to. It just happened.
Then they have to deal with the fact that this comes with duties too.
Tags: civilian!reader, gn!reader, mostly fluff, a bit suggestive, smug!Ghost, smooth!Ghost. 800 words.
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When Ghost is reluctant to getting sutured in Medical after accidentally opening his stitches, grumbling he can do it himself, who does the nurse call for? Yeah, you.
She could stand her ground, after all she's used to dealing with big, whiny men, but it's much more fun to knock on your door and smile at your bewildered gaze and gaping mouth when she explains the situation in two sentences.
"Ghost's being difficult, mind taking over?" "I'm sorry, what the hell does this have to do with me?" "C'm'on, everyone on base knows he's got a soft spot for you. Don't you want to make my job easier?"
You roll your eyes and slam your hands on your desk as you get up. Groaning as you walk past her— "I'm doing this for you, nothing else, got it?"
Mumbling to yourself "you've got to be kidding me" as you barge into the sick bay. Ghost is coolly seated at the end of a bed, large as life, casual clothes as black as his mask and— oh. You weren't told the wound was on his thigh— you weren't warned that he didn’t have pants on. You can’t help it, your eyes go down, down, your lingering gaze and your flustered silence forming a confession louder than words.
A noise — a scoff or a grunt, you’re not sure — emanates from him, breaks your trance, makes you look up. The amusement in his gaze tells you he noticed your oggling— of course he did. Nothing gets past the Ghost, and you've been remarkably unsubtle. Despite the mask, you swear you can make out the smug smirk on his lips. His cockiness reignites your irritation. Annoyance making you bolder than you really are, you charge at him, crossing the distance between you two in a stride, stopping close— too close. He doesn't back off.
"What's wrong with you?" you snarl. "Nothin'," he retorts, imperturbable.
It's actually the first time you’re overlooking him. You may be enjoying it a bit too much. Nevermind the fact that you've had to wedge yourself between his parted legs to get there.
You frown, unconvinced by his answer.
“Did Soap contaminate you?”
Bargaining to be cleared out earlier was the Scotsman's trademark.
“Johnny throws a fit cos he hates feeling useless. That's not what I'm doing.”
A smirk stretches your lips.
“Oh, no? I'm sure your reasons are much more noble.”
“Doesn't matter. Got what I wanted anyway.”
He's way too self-satisfied for a man in his underwear.
You throw an unequivocal look in the direction of his injury.
“What you wanted? A still open wound?”
“You.”
He replied without missing a beat, as confident as usual. It is both alluring and aggravating.
“And your idea of wooing me is making me upset?”
You don't add “because if it is, that's really fucking stupid” out loud, but you’re sure he got the message through your tone.
“Nah. But you're more honest when you’re angry. Gutsier.”
You only realize he slipped his index and middle fingers in your trouser loops when he sharply tugs at them. Off balance, you steady yourself by catching his shoulders.
Taking advantage of the strip of bare skin between your shirt and bottoms, the pads of his thumbs idly stroke your hip bones. The contact sends electricity through you, shivers of pleasure running down your sides.
“Ghost,” you start, severe, trying not to let the effect his touch has on you show in your voice.
“Simon,” he counters, surly. “Told ya it's Simon when we're alone, didn't I?”
He did, but you didn’t think he was serious. If that's what it takes to get him to listen… you’ll play by his rules.
“Simon. What's the rest of your brilliant plan? I'm here, but I can’t stitch you up.”
“How ‘bout a deal. I'll stop resisting… for a price.”
You raise an amused eyebrow.
“What kind of price?”
“A kiss.”
You snort. You didn’t believe him capable of something so… puerile.
“With the mask on?”
He doesn't move a muscle to get rid of it.
“Take it off.”
You usually wouldn’t obey what sounds like an order so easily, but it's the first time you get to touch the skull. Slipping two fingers between skin and cloth, you slowly roll up the mask all the way under his nose.
You gently trace the scars surrounding his lips. Then, the second you feel him relax, grip on your hips slackening and intensity of his gaze waning, you grab the bottom of his mask and drag it back down vigorously, making the holes for the eyes land way too low for him to see anything.
“If you thought you'd get a reward for acting out, you've got another think coming.”
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louisa-gc · 5 months
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how to start reading again
from someone who was a voracious reader until high school and is now getting back into it in her twenties.
start with an old favourite. even though it felt a little silly, i re-read the harry potter series one christmas and it wiped away my worry that i wasn't capable of reading anymore. they are long books, but i was still able to get completely immersed and to read just as fast as i had years and years ago.
don't be afraid of "easier" books. before high school i was reading the french existentialists, but when getting back into reading, i picked up lucinda riley and sally rooney. not my favourite authors by far, but easier to read while not being totally terrible. i needed to remind myself that only choosing classics would not make me a better or smarter person. if a book requires a slower pace of reading to be understood, it's easier to just drop it, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid at first.
go for essays and short stories. no need to explain this one: the shorter the whole, the less daunting it is. i definitely avoided all books over 350 pages at first and stuck to essay collections until i suddenly devoured donna tartt's goldfinch.
remember it's okay not to finish. i was one of those people who finished every book they started, but not anymore! if i pick up a book at the library and after a few chapters realise i'd rather not read it, i just return it. (another good reason to use your local library! no money spent on books you might end up disliking.)
analyse — or don't. some people enjoy reading more when they take notes or really stop to think about the contents. for me, at first, it was more important to build the habit of reading, and the thought of analysing what i read felt daunting. once i let go of that expectation, i realised i naturally analyse and process what i read anyway.
read when you would usually use your phone. just as i did when i was a child, i try to read when eating, in the bathroom, on public transport, right before sleeping. i even read when i walk, because that's normally a time i stare at my screen anyway. those few pages you read when you brush your teeth and wait for a friend very quickly stack up.
finish the chapter. if you have time, try to finish the part you're reading before closing the book. usually i find i actually don't want to stop reading once i get to the end of a chapter — and if i do, it feels like a good place to pick up again later.
try different languages. i was quickly approaching a reading slump towards the end of my exchange year, until i realised i had only had access to books in english and that, despite my fluency, i was tired of the language. so as soon as i got back home i started picking up books in my native tongue, which made reading feel much easier and more fun again! after some nine months, i'm starting to read in english again without it feeling like a huge task.
forget what's popular. i thought social media would be a fun way to find interesting books to read, but i quickly grew frustrated after hating every single book i picked up on some influencer's recommendation. it's certainly more time-consuming to find new books on your own, but this way i don't despise every novel i pick up.
remember it isn't about quantity. the online book community's endless posts about reading 150 books each year or 6 books in a single day easily make us feel like we're slow, bad readers, but here's the thing: it does not matter at all how many books you read or what your reading pace is. we all lead different lives, just be proud of yourself for reading at all!
stop stressing about it. we all know why reading is important, and since the pandemic reading has become an even more popular hobby than it was before (which is wonderful!). however, there's no need to force yourself to be "a reader". pick up a book every now and then and keep reading if you enjoy it, but not reading regularly doesn't make you any less of a good person. i find the pressure to become "a person who reads" or to rediscover my inner bookworm only distances me from the very act of reading.
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