#and i think waiting longer and longer without any romantic or even platonic relationship in my day to day life is..

[destielgaysex]

im the second of four children and im the most loser of them all. is this anyone else's experience or just me.

loser defined by: no friends or social life, no relationship experience, dropped out of undergrad 5 years in, living at home at 24, 0 platonic physical touch ever experience in entire life outside of family, etc.

[nmakii]

GETTING CAUGHT IN THE MOMENT… LIPSTICK ON YOUR FACE

— alastor + lucifer + vox getting caught with lipstick stains all over them…

— generally gn!reader. guys can wear lipstick too smh

hehe i got a new lip tint (˶‾᷄ ⁻̫ ‾᷅˵) maybe alastor’s part is a little self-projected

— alastor

alastor himself isn’t one for physical affection. in fact, the thought itself makes him feel dirty. someone else’s skin against his… eugh…

though, when it came to you, he couldn’t keep his hands to himself; hands clawing and playing with your hair, wrapping his arms around your neck, pinching your cute cheeks, holding your hand… it’s almost as if he’d double-die without you near!

and the only thing he’d enjoy more than that would be having his affection reciprocated; interlocking your arm with his, a surprise hug from behind, a kiss on the cheek, they are all more than appreciated! especially the thing about kissing…

a kiss from you is simply just exhilarating. the suddenness yet sweetness of it, it’s truly the purest form of love, regardless of if it’s familial, romantic, or platonic— it’s the purest expression of your love for another person.

so, just imagine alastor’s reaction to your new lipstick, strawberry red to give your lips a glossy color, yet still light enough to appear natural. the pretty hue of red complimenting your face features perfectly by giving it the color it needs as to not appear pale.

absolutely gorgeous. so confusing how a simple amount of color could make you look as if you were an angel from heaven itself. you quite literally took his breath away from just applying a new lipstick…

at some point, alastor had reached some sort of limit when he finally caved into his inner desires, bringing you to a secluded place in the hotel, his hands moving to your hips and hair.

he couldn’t wait any longer to place his lips on your’s, your lipstick smearing all over his thin lips. kissing him from his cheeks to his jawline, leaving light pink stains all over his skin.

he groaned at the feeling of wet lipstick all over his face, and at the same time reveled in the ways you are telling everyone that the only one who could see the radio demon in such a needy and doe-like state would be you; he’d be yours to fool around with, and yours to do however you’d see fit. just as you are his— no one else’s. the smeared lipstick on the side of your lips should send that as a statement enough to whatever lowlife hooligan would even attempt to sweep you off your feet.

when the two of you had returned, it was a strange sight to say the least… alastor’s face and jaw covered with pink lips, and you with your lipstick smudged and smeared off your lips, instead all over you neck.

“well, uh… you two look like ‘ya had lot’sa fun…” angel said monotonously, awkwardly trying to keep up conversation. “ohh, most certainly!” alastor grinned, his transatlantic accent popping through the radio static.

he knows he could’ve wiped it off… he has a handkerchief in his back pocket, he could’ve easily saved himself that awkward conversation.

but, he didn’t.

could you blame him? he wants all of hell to know that both you and him off-limits for good.

— lucifer

when many imagine the king of hell, it’s hard to think he’d be a social piranha. the same case had gone for you.

who knew lucifer was still as pure of heart as he was during his time in heaven? and who knew he’d fall for someone so easily after the sudden disappearance of his wife?

when he saw you, it was practically love at first sight! your big eyes, your shiny hair, and those big pretty lips of yours that he just wanted to kiss so badly…

he listened carefully as charlie introduced you to him, trying to remember every detail about you and every feature on your face, stuttering over his words once it was time to speak for himself.

and somehow, despite his meekness towards you and your awkwardness whenever he was around, you two ended up in a relationship— with the help of vaggie and charlie’s meddling in pushing you two together.

the two of you loved each other, of course… but it was always hard to express. the only way lucifer knew how to show his love was through his presence and gifts. he wasn’t hell’s greatest kisser, but he tries.

and, today— it was your 5 month anniversary… quite a long time, the hotel’s been good so far, no major threats other than one of cherri bomb’s occasional explosions. and because of how long it’s been, you decided to do something a little special… put on some relatively expensive clothes and make-up your face a little bit.

when lucifer saw you all dolled up, he was honestly a little stunned. lips as red as an apple, hair as soft as silk, the words were stuck in his mouth. “w- er- wow..! i’m not dressed up or anything— agh, this is awkward..” lucifer muttered. “hey, it’s ok… this was a surprise for you, y’know?” you said, comforting him slightly.

“you look… stunning today” he smiled, carefully putting down his anniversary present for you on his work desk, still wrapped in a red ribbon. he made his way to you, hands making their way to your cheeks to softly cup them as he gently leaned into you for a kiss.

he released a breath he didn’t know he had been holding as you kissed his face all over, as if healing the wounds of his past with his present. his banishment into hell, lilith’s abandonment, they all didn’t matter anymore, you are the present and the future.

he wrapped his arms around your waist in a hug as he kissed your forehead, the residual lipstick from his lips smeared onto you.

lucifer laughed awkwardly before using his finger to carefully rub off the pink stains on your forehead. “haha… c’mon, i got a dinner reservation in the lust ring tonight…” he laughed, interlocking his arm with yours.

“don’t you wanna take off that lipstick on your face first?” you raised an eyebrow at him. “i mean… i dont minddd… so, it’s only if you wanna take if off” his eyes wandered, his cheeks growing flustered “hmm… nah. i want everyone to know you belong to me now.” you grinned mischievously.

and when the two of you walked out of the hotel lobby, charlie went to wish you a safe trip and happy anniversary before she noticed the stains on her dad’s face. “err… dad..? you gotta a little something there…” charlie muttered as she pointed all over his face. “ah..? yeah, i know” he laughed it off, proudly showing off to hell how hopelessly devoted he is to you.

— vox

vox was a busy man. from having many public appearances, to coming up with new ideas for voxtek, to putting out valentino’s temper tantrums, he barely had the time for romance.

barely. he loved you, truly. he keeps you dear to his heart, no matter how busy he’d be, vox would still make time for you late at night.

everyone had known you, why wouldn’t they? you’re the partner of one of the most influential overlords in hell, that’s a feat that is amazing to accomplish, dating vox in itself has made you into a sort of local celebrity; causing you to be invited to many galas, parties, and occasional raves.

and tonight happened to be the night of one of those parties. zestial had invited you to a formal dinner party, an all star guest list filled by many of the goetic princes, various overlords in hell, and other local hellborns such as verosika mayday.

“please, voxxx? just this once, it’s only like 3 hours!” you grumble as your apply a coat of ruby red over your lips, checking your appearance in the bathroom mirror. “i can’t.. i have a 5:00 with val and velvette, then after that, a board meeting about new gadgets to release…” vox groaned, already pissed about the day ahead.

“fine then, your loss.” you pouted, rolling your eyes as you left the bathroom and into the bedroom. “holy shit…” vox sighed out. “you look… really good, my love.” he walked over to you, his hands moving to your body, outlining the clothes’ stitching as he recognized it to be the one he had custom-made for you.

your hands rested on vox’s shoulders, forcibly making him lean over a bit before leaving various kiss stains all over his screen.

vox visibly tensed as his screen started glowing a bright teal, showing his clear embarrassment as pink smudges fogged his screen.

his breath heaved as his hands moved all around your body, desperate to find some kind of relief to his pent-up stress.

ending your kiss attack all too soon on his lips, you pulled away, your lips slightly pale now as you grinned at him. “spend the day looking like that and i’ll give you more after work” you winked, taking your belongings and leaving out the door, leaving a flustered vox in your bedroom, covered with lipstick stains.

“vox… the fuck is going on with your face?” velvette snarled. “it looks as if you got fucking mauled by a bear pretending to be a woman.” she yelled, her british accent making her trip over some consonants.

vox sighed, hearing valentino mutter some sort of dirty comparison of vox to a prostitute. “instead of focusing on me, why don’t you put your efforts into our agenda today?” vox frowned, his tone clearly saying that he’s holding himself back from releasing a flood of curses onto the two…

[earthtooz]

x : BETWEEN LOVE AND LIES :*+ﾟ

in which: you thought nagi was dating you for media reputation... so why does this relationship feel suspiciously real?

warnings: 11.9k words, pro-soccer player!nagi x physiotherapist!gn!reader, reader has hair, lots of food, not at all a realistic story but that's okay pls don't come for me, SLOOWWWWBURN, fake-dating au, reader is oblivious :<

a/n: goodness. if this flops i will cry bc i spent way too long this for it to be healthy for me. enjoy !

↳ 5K EVENT MASTERLIST ༉‧₊

nagi approaches you the day after his name goes viral.

you weren’t doing anything spectacular, merely putting away all the kits and equipment you’d used for the day when the white-haired soccer player approaches you, his hands in his pockets, strolling over to you as he would on any occasion. 

your heart races- as it does whenever he’s around, regardless of said occasion, but what tumbles out of his mouth next was worthy of ceasing your heart rate all together.

“wanna date?”

you’re speechless. malfunctioning as you register what he’s saying. the sheer casualness of it all is alarming and you have to snap yourself back into your physical environment before your mind loses to a universe of questions and doubts.

out of all people who have asked you to date, nagi was definitely the most unique. was he okay in the head? did he come for a check up? did he get one of rin’s kicks to the head? or was he just straight up delusional?

“uhh, why?” you ask, cursing yourself a little for how disgusted you sounded.

fortunately for you, your ungracious tone didn’t phase him, not one bit. “isn’t that what two people do when they like each other?”

yeah, romantically. you don’t even think nagi likes you beyond simply platonic, whereas you have to try and shove your feelings for him down your throat every morning before walking in to the training grounds for blue lock’s official team.

you find yourself agreeing regardless, still a little overwhelmed by everything that was going on. 

the soccer player then has the audacity to give you two thumbs up in approval, a dumb smile plastering on that expression of his. this confuses you even more.

“okay cool, so what should we do now that we’re a couple?” he asks.

you glance away, unable to look him in the eye for too long without getting flustered. the various weights and foam rollers still scattered on the floor catches your attention, reminding you of your previous task before nagi came to stir up a storm. “well, i have to put these away amongst various things. you can sit on the couch if you want to pass time?”

“do you need any help?” he questions, already bobbing down to be eye-level with you, ignoring the second half of your statement.

“no it’s fine, thank you though.”

“are you sure?”

“yeah! i don’t want to bother you.”

“well if you do this all by yourself, it’ll take longer, and you take longer, it means i have to wait longer to spend time with you.”

when you turn around to say something, the words die on your throat when you realise just how close he’d come to you during the time you had your back towards him. a flash of hurt crosses his typically emotionless eyes when you instinctively recoil from him, his innocent stare dimishing just a little. 

“you know how much i hate waiting. it’s such a pain, so let me help out and you’ll get done faster, right?” his hands are already reaching for some of the foam rollers before you can stop him. with an affectionate sigh, you take it from him, placing it back in its original spot.

“fine,” you say with a smile. “if you insist then would you mind putting the ice packs in the fridge? isagi’s ankle was messing up earlier and chigiri came in for his knee again.”

the white-haired hums before obeying, his footsteps that shuffled along the floor telling you know that he is carrying out his duties that you’ve assigned for him. the way his tracksuit makes a noise every time he walks is distracting, but you can’t help but think how much nagi reminds you of a penguin. the adorableness of it all might just kill you.

if only the internet and ‘#nagi seishiro’ tags knew just how much of a teddy bear that 6’3, legendary prodigy, nagi seishiro was, and how you had to massage him almost everyday after training sessions otherwise he’d come to practise the next day with the resolve of a five year old.

being a junior physiotherapist for the blue lock team, you only took care of a few blue lock athletes as your clients since the team was divided between you and a senior physio. nagi wasn’t one of your assigned athletes, however when you first came to the job, he would come during almost closing times (when you had no one booked) and ask for a massage, even if he had his own physiotherapist to request that of. however, nagi seemed to always have some sore muscle because his demands for a massage became a daily recurrence.

you just hope whatever is wrong with him gets sorted out soon. 

sure athletes are meant to work hard and use their bodies in the field but physio massages were to assist with injuries by minimising the risk of them, fixing the alignment, or help extend any limited range of movement. 

whatever. now’s not the time to think too hard about it because you’re about to go on a date with nagi seishiro. 

after cleaning up your space so you could prepare to take care of more athletes tomorrow, nagi is sauntering over to you once more. this time, he drapes himself all over you, causing you to stumble a little from how heavy he is. you pray to whoever’s listening that he can’t feel or hear the way your heart races in your chest, threatening to climb up your throat and jump into his hands. 

“tired, nagi?” you question, words muffled against his shoulder as you bring your hands to soothingly pat his back. 

“yeah,” whines the white-haired. the smile that creeps onto your face is one full of adoration for the man slung over you. “let me take you out.”

“where to?”

“a night market? it’ll be fun.” 

“sure.” 

at your confirmation, he separates from you with an excited glimmer in his eyes, 

after grabbing your bags and setting out, you’re violently flooded by dozens of paparazzi and interviewers who are click their cameras in hopes of catching blue lock’s soccer player who has taken the world by storm. it’s a little overwhelming, but when nagi covers you from the reporters with his arm which had his tracksuit jacket draped over it, you’re thankful for his thoughtfulness, especially when you’re relying on his grip around your waist to pull you in the right direction.

the crowd is shouting a flurry of things, nothing that you can make out amongst the mess of your mind, your heart, and your ears.

it’s not until you decipher someone shouting something about dating rumours with a japanese pop singer, that you piece together his intentions; a loud wakeup call to the reality of your ‘situation’ with nagi. 

the possibility that nagi was using this ‘relationship’ for media coverage and acknowledgement was very likely, especially with his recent growth in popularity and social media following- it would be understandable if he wanted to prolong his moment in the spotlight by entering beneficial relationships. 

except typically, celebrities would do it with other celebrities.

so what’s the appeal behind using you? 

a funny feeling brews in your gut, one that clawed at your chest with a series of disappointment, anxiety, and dismay. it was unbelievable that someone as hot, both literally and figuratively, as nagi would be interested in you; a junior physiotherapist fresh out of university, but you had hoped. his abruptness today and the whole ‘we should date’ ordeal was to dispel the media from his back, not bred from any genuine feelings.

if this was the only chance you got to stand beside nagi and have him hold you like this, so protectively against him, then you were going to take it until fate deemed it over and pulled you away from him itself.

you were young and simply put, nagi could provide the companionship you were looking for.

fortunately, the press left him alone at the parking lot where security guards were standing, two in the booth and one purchased near the gate. you give them a shy greeting and they return it with a bow.

“sorry about that,” nagi mutters, not looking at you even when you turn your head to stare up at him. “i wasn’t expecting paparazzi to be right outside, they’re such a pain.”

“it’s okay, if anything i owe you a thank you for covering me from them,” you huff, stuffing your hands into your pockets, mind still a little frazzled over the memory of how protective nagi was over you. “stuff like this happens when you’re famous, mr soccer hotshot.”

he rubs his neck, looking to the side as his next words tumble out of his mouth: “does that impress you?”

“why wouldn’t it?” 

you try not to think too hard about the blush that manifests on his face, pinning it on the colder weather and frostbite rather than your words. 

“so… where’s this night market? i didn’t know tokyo had many night markets.”

“just in shibuya.”

“won’t it be busy?”

“yeah,” he shrugs before adding as an afterthought: “does that bother you?”

“no not at all, i just thought you hated big crowds and busy places.”

“‘s won’t be so bad with you there.”

for someone who prefers to keep quiet majority of the time, nagi sure does have a silver tongue. this is probably the third time in the past half an hour that he’s made your stomach flip, and you can’t help but question his intentions. if he was trying to make you actually fall for him to make your relationship look more legitimate then he’d be disappointed to know that you already had, way before he approached you today. 

he agrees to drive the way since one: it was easier and two: you could avoid the paparazzi that way. 

upon arrival, you’re glad to see that there aren’t too many people in the crowd. since it was a weekday, students would be participating in extra curriculars and businessmen would be only just finishing work. the majority of the people here were older with a few couples here and there.

“oh, they have lemon tea,” nagi mutters, grabbing your hand before unceremoniously dragging you to the stand. his excitement was endearing, especially when all 6’3 of him approaches the lemon tea stand, needing to bend down in order to be seen by the elderly stand owner. a flash of surprise crosses the maker’s face as he makes eye contact with the white-haired.

“two lemon teas please,” requests the soccer player, using his hands to gesture ‘two’ as he fishes out the appropriate amount of money.

“hey, you’re that soccer player, nagi! you scored an awesome goal the other day. mind if i get a picture?” the owner’s gruff voice requests, a cheery smile making its way onto his face.

“oh. sure.”

you take the picture for them, counting down ‘3, 2, 1’ as nagi gives the camera a peace sign and the owner has a wide, bright smile on his face; so bright that you couldn’t help grinning as well. “i’m putting this on my store front. now you want two lemon teas?”

“coming right up!” 

“did you just buy me a lemon tea without asking?” you question, a smile appearing on your features as you glance up at your companion.

he meets your eyes, “yeah, ‘s there something wrong with that?” 

“no, not at all. i wouldn’t mind some lemon tea right now. i’ll pay you back.”

“don’t worry about that,” nagi cuts you off before you can even reach for your wallet. “everything’s on me.”

“but-”

“-it’s on me.”

the stand owner is handing over two iced cups of lemon before you can continue bickering and nagi hands one over to you with a wordless expression and you’re compelled to take it, though reluctantly.

“are you two a couple?” the owner asks.

nagi nods, “yeah, we are.”

“ah! no wonder. you two look amazing together, you bagged a real gem,” he says to nagi, pointing at you. you laugh it off, flattered.

“i know i did. thanks for the tea, sir.”

“thank you!” you call out to the owner before being dragged away by nagi again, careful not to spill your drink from how much vigour was in his steps. for his one stride, you had to take two. 

after going from store to store and blindly following nagi who led the way with his stomach, you’re eventually brought to a less busy, picnic-like area where there were various benches for you to sit on. it was away from the busyness of the main street, but still had lanterns hung around the premise, combating the darkness of the early sunset during colder months.

you take a seat beside him whilst he sets down the variety of food he bought from the merchants, not trying to think too much about the way nagi presses himself closely against you. 

“oh, one of my games had a character drop an hour ago,” he absentmindedly comments, opening his phone for the first time since being with you. you catch a glimpse of his dim phone screen, seeing the notification banner from the game he was referring to.

“that’s cool,” you mutter, unsure of what else to say as you take a bite into the red bean taiyaki.

“yeah, he’s a cracked character. been wanting him forever.”

“are you gonna pull? i wanna see him.”

“really?” 

when you give him the nod of affirmation, nagi opens the game whilst you continue eating, gentle anticipation hanging in the air as well as a comfortable silence. it doesn’t take long before he’s purchasing special event tokens, going to the special character screen and pressing the ‘draw x10’ option. you peer over his shoulder, trying to resist the urge to rest your chin on it.

you’re snapped out of your reverie when nagi emits a small gasp. “no way.”  

“what?” you ask, watching the way his screen lights up in gold which signalled a successful draw. he looks up at you, eyes wide and mouth partially parted. “did you get him?”

“yeah, on the first go,” he says in wonder, a dazed look in his eyes. “that’s never happened before.”

“no way! you’re so lucky!”

nagi’s face erupts into a small smile, and you’re caught off guard all of a sudden when his hands snake around your waist, pulling you up to sit on his lap. the new proximity and abruptness of it all causes your mind to stop for a second, shutting off as nagi peers up at you with stars in his eyes. you want to hide, but his grip around you is too tight, pulling you in to him.

this feels criminal. 

“nah, i just think you’re my lucky charm.”

a quiet squeak of ‘is that so?’ is all you can reply with before looking away, trying to distract your rampant thoughts, hoping that the cool breeze will calm the heat creeping up to your face. “so,” you begin, trying to recover yourself from embarrassment. “can i see your characters? all of them?”

“all of them?” nagi repeats and you miss the small look of bliss on his expression.

“yeah.”

“i showed them to you the other week.”

“okay, well show me this new character then.”

“as you wish.” 

he talks you through the characters and their tutorials, showing you their special combos and ultimate moves, all whilst you have to feed him the variety of foods he bought whilst dragging you around like a dog and its owner. as he munches on the takoyaki, kebabs, and sweet potato, you realise just how bottomless nagi’s stomach was and the way he hums in satisfaction after each bite was very adorable.

the night fades into a nice memory of laughter, emptied food boxes, and easy conversation. somehow nagi has manoeuvred himself so that his head was now in your lap, snowy hair spread so invitingly as you resist the urge to run your hands through it, wanting to respect any boundaries of his. 

every so often you have to remind yourself that this wasn’t real. 

reality hits you once more the following morning when you check social media just to see ‘#nagi seishiro’ trending all over again, all talking about the paparazzi photos that were taken yesterday. taking a glimpse for yourself, you hate the way your gut sinks, especially as articles with the title ‘nagi seishiro with a new lover?’ shine in your face.

it only solidifies your speculations about this (fake?) relationship, and despite coming to accept it, growing resentment poisons your system, rendering you incapable and bitter as you let your breakfast grow cold. 

at least nagi correctly covered you with his jacket, your face is completely obstructed, only your body is revealed. you thank your lucky stars that you decided to not wear your ‘blue lock’ staff clothes that morning and just opted for your own athletic wear, that way your identity could be hidden at least just a little.

a message from reo captures your attention and you click on it immediately. 

reo: is that you with nagi? 

you: yeah! 

reo: about fucking time. got sick of you two never doing anything. 

you: haha 😐thanks reo 😐

reo: did he take you to the night market last night?

you: yeah! it was fun :)

reo: that’s good, nagi’s been waiting forever.

reo: don’t break his heart 

you scoff at the irony of reo’s last text, typing something noncommittal before throwing your phone else where. 

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

the whole team practically knows about you and nagi when you return to work the following monday and the second you enter the building, you’re swarmed by the friendly faces of bachira, isagi, and chigiri, who are seemingly holding a tired nagi hostage. quite an amusing sight. three people, who are roughly a head shorter than the white-haired, restraining a lethargic 6’3 athlete with their bodies. 

“are you really dating nagi?” isagi begins before you could even fit in a ‘hello’.

“uh… yeah?” you sound unsure; because you are. a fake relationship is still a relationship, it’s just that one party is more infatuated with the other.

“damn. i didn’t think it was real,” mutters chigiri. “are you sure? he’s not like… paying you to do this, right? you like like him?”

“yes?” you exclaim, a little overwhelmed. “i’m not getting any monetary returns even though i wish i did.” nagi narrows his eyes at you, you poke out your tongue. “please, no more questions, it’s way too early for this.”

“you don’t know how long we’ve been waiting for nagi to ask you out, y/n. even we placed money on him,” reveals isagi but before you could say anything in response, bachira cuts in, practically skipping up to the white-haired.

“finally grew some balls and asked, good job bro!” bachira sings, patting nagi on the back with a violet slap before disappearing.

“see you at practice, nagi!” 

the three athletes disappear and you finally exhale after holding in a breath for what felt like ages. what an animated way to start the day.

you hold your breath again when nagi approaches to stop in front of you, a singular coffee cup in his hand; one that he holds out to you.

“good morning, nagi,” you greet.

“hey, i got you coffee.” instinctively, you take the cup from him, immediately warmed up by the heat emanating from it. “i hope it’s still warm. i’ve been waiting for you for a while.”

“you were waiting for me?” 

“yeah. wanted to see you before going to training. makes my day less of a bother.”

you smile into your cup, trying to hide the effect that nagi has on you. you were so stupid for him it was insane.

“i’m sorry for making you wait, the trains were a little delayed this morning,” you confess, “but thank you. you’re very thoughtful, nagi.”

his face contorts into an ugly expression, a display of his feelings that are quickly quelled by the feeling of your cold hand grabbing his warm ones. “you take public transport to work?”

“i don’t want to pay for parking and everything. it’s not all bad, i get lovely views and a wake up call every morning.” 

the white-haired athlete makes a face of contemplation briefly. “let me pick you up from now on.”

“no, it’s fine. i don’t want to be more of a hassle. i know how much you hate waking up to even just come to work so-”

“-i want to.”

your heart flutters at his insistence and all you can mutter out is a feeble ‘ok’ before slipping your hand out of his. you don’t know if you’ll ever be able to get used to the way nagi seishiro so effortlessly warms your insides; to the point that it becomes an unrecognisable pool of putty. 

after a moment, you regain your senses. “you should be going off to practise. don’t make ego mad before the day even starts.”

he groans, “won’t you come and watch? i’ll feel a little better if you’re there.”

“i have my own work to get to but i don’t have many checkups today so if i can, i will.”

“i suppose that’s good enough,” mutters nagi before pulling you in for a loose hug, arms wounding around your waist, breathing you in before stepping back, as if rejuvenated by your touch and presence alone. 

“work hard, nagi.”

you go your separate ways, him to the field and you to your office where various coworkers resided.

after a morning of answering emails, going to meetings and consulting the results from various body screenings, you finally have a chunk of time around 11:45 am to go and watch practice. as soon as you entered the training grounds, you’re a little stunned and impressed to see that they were all doing shooting drills, landing them perfectly with no effort, the harsh sound of shoe slapping against leather ringing throughout the area.

nagi notices you almost immediately, his eyes lighting up a little when you shoot him a small wave before wandering into the bleachers, taking a seat in a second row. 

you continue watching, straightening up in your seat whenever it’s nagi’s turn, waiting to watch the genius at work. the results are no less than impressive every time but you have to pretend like you weren’t at all marvelling at him whenever he turns around and looks at you expectantly.

15 minutes later, ego calls for an hour lunch break, allowing the players to break off to do whatever their heart desires. the first thing nagi does is walk over to where you sit in the stands, leaning over the first row of chairs to reach you.

“why hello there, soccer sensation,” you greet and he gives you a lazy smile.

“hi.”

“you going to go for lunch?”

“yeah. have you had something to eat yet or do you wanna grab a bite together?”

“i brought cup noodles but i don’t mind. don’t you want to go with your friends?” 

“you’re better.”

“please shut up, that’s so cringe,” you murmur with an undeniable grin, one that causes his gaze to soften as well. “let’s get lunch together then.”

“let me get dressed,” the athlete says, about to run off when you abruptly stop him, causing him to turn around suddenly, his hair whipping around with his actions. “what’s up?”

beckoning him over, he returns to where he stood before and you take out a hair tie, one that you store in your pockets all the time just in case. “does your hair not bother you when you practise?” you silently ask for permission, hand merely hovering near his head until you realise that he was okay with the contact. “it’s getting all in your face, even i was annoyed when watching you.” 

gently, you run your hands through his hair and despite the sweat on his forehead, it’s still soft and fluffy. goodness you could play with it forever.

then, you gather nagi’s front bangs, bringing them together to resemble a unicorn horn, tying it with your hairband. when you part from your work, you’re pleasantly surprised that it holds but you suppress a giggle because of how ridiculous he looks, paired with that dazed look in his eyes, you never thought you’d see nagi like this.

when you reach to tug your hairband out of his hair, he waves you off, taking the updo out himself.

“can i keep the hairband?” he pleads and you quirk an eyebrow.

“it’s just a hairband,” you say.

“so you won’t miss it right?”

“no, i won’t-”

“-okay, epic,” he mumbles before putting the hair tie around his wrist and a part of you swells with pride at the sight; a feeling that you try to shove down with little success. “can i get changed now?”

“yes, go.”

whilst you watch the white-haired disappear from your vision, you can’t help but wonder how you got yourself into this situation with such a weirdo. still, you adore said weirdo and this was no one’s fault but your own.

nagi wears the hair tie for the remainder of the day.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

roughly two months or so pass by and the days become a blur, especially since training is becoming more rigorous for the team due to the preparations for their spring soccer season. your schedule is piled day by day with athletes coming for their regular checkups and consultations, leaving you drained as soon as the work day is over.

nagi, your loving ‘partner’ notices this because he always likes to stick around after hours and bother you for a massage. he always insists that you do it because it’s like an immediate ‘full heal’ but you just think that he’s too lazy to book a professional masseuse and that you’re the next best thing.

whatever. at least he’s cute.

“i hardly see you nowadays,” he mutters, voice muffled by the leather bed of your workspace. 

you gather a little more lotion on your hands, spreading it along his calves before pressing your thumbs into his muscles, trying to identify where any tight spots might be. “i’m sorry, i don’t have much time nowadays. appointments with you guys go all the way til six, and i don’t get home until 6:30. then i’m practically out like a light.”

he hums in torment and in consideration, tensing his shoulders a little as a natural response to the pain in his legs. “well, tomorrow’s a saturday. can i take you out?”

“i don’t know, some athletes may sporadically come and bother me to get a massage so i’ll let you know if anything comes up.”

“be serious.”

“i am free tomorrow.”

“sick. keep it that way.”

“even if athletes bother me for a much-needed massage in order to perform at their best?”

he huffs something in response before flopping his face back down on the leather bed, the (seemingly invincible) knots in his calves taking too much of your attention for you to think too hard about tomorrow’s date with nagi. 

he’s still wearing your hair tie around his wrist. 

true to his word, nagi picks you up the next day at 3pm for your date since he insisted that was the earliest he would be ready by (meaning, it’s the earliest he can wake up). when you meet him, you’re a little stunned by the amount of disguises he’s wearing. sunglasses, beanie, and a face mask, you’re not sure whether he’s going to attract more attention or blend in.

also, when you’re 6’3 it’s hard to avoid eyes.

“hey, i’m supposed to meet someone called nagi, he’s got white hair, grey eyes, 190 cm, have you seen him?” you ask as soon as you approach the soccer player. he sighs through his mask when you erupt into a fit of laughter. “i’m just kidding.”

nagi brings down his mask to sit below his chin. “your boyfriend is right here,” he corrects, voice demanding and authoritative, sending shivers down your spine. 

“so he is,” you mumble, stepping closer to engulf him in a hug. he wraps his arms around you in return and you contentedly sigh when he pulls you into the comfortable, expensive material of his hoodie. “what’s with the disguise?”

“i don’t want anyone to ruin our day out so i’m wearing this.”

“ever so thoughtful aren’t you?” 

when you take a step back, nagi’s careful to not let you stray too far which is indicated through the protective arm he keeps around your shoulders. 

“should we get going?”

“yeah.”

the white-haired laces your hands with his, his grip gentle yet committed to keeping you near him as you stroll down the warming streets of tokyo.

“it’s finally spring,” nagi comments offhandedly, causing you shift your gaze towards him. you’re surprised that he was initiating conversation, majority of the time it was you doing the rambling and him partaking in the listening. “the cold weather was getting bothersome. hated going to practise all freezing, makes warmup so hard.”

“i like the cold weather,” you say. “it’s easier to dress for winter than it is for summer.”

“that is true.”

“do you like spring?”

“yeah, ‘s my favourite season.”

you didn’t think someone like nagi would bother too much with having a favourite season. “why’s that?”

“it’s a good season for napping and staying inside. i like that i don’t have to do much nor think about much.” 

such a nagi response. you admire how stubborn he sticks to his ideals and general philosophy, it’s a comforting quality and aspect to have. 

“plus it’s your birthday season,” you add. 

he looks at you with a gentle smile before repeating: “it’s my birthday season.”  

nagi takes you to a park where the cherry blossoms are in full bloom, its petals decorating the scenery and ground, creating a dainty, lovely carpet of pink and beauty. however, the main attraction of the date isn’t the scenery of the park but rather, the lake where several pedal boats float on the water; some occupied, some vacant.

the soccer player shows the attendant his purchased tickets, getting them scanned before you’re led to get on one of the boats. 

“so… are you liking the date?” nagi asks when you’re out far enough from the dock so that no one can hear you. here, he takes off his mask, tucking it into his pocket.

“i am, i’ve been wanting to ride one of these boats for a long time but i’ve just never found the time,” you confess. “i’m glad that it’s with you. thanks, nagi.” 

he looks away, an obvious pink tint appearing on his cheeks as he rubs his neck in embarrassment. “it’s okay, i s’pose.”

“you’re so cute,” you say whilst raising one hand to drag through his hair.

“stop,” he whines but not brushing you off or pulling away, instead, he leans into your touch.

a few minutes of silence pass by before nagi speaks up again, retreating back into his personal space as he fishes for something in his hoodie pocket. he pulls out a long velvet box, handing it over for you to take which you do with a little hesitation.

“i wanted to give you something to mark two months,” he tells you and you feel your heart drop.

“wait what? two months? i didn’t know we were celebrating that!” (because you spend too much time fretting over the day he’d tell you that he wants to break up, not needing this fake relationship anymore.) “i didn’t get you anything, i feel terrible now-”

“-it’s not a big deal, i just wanted to give you something.”

“nagi i can’t accept this, this is too good-”

“-i insist.”

“but i don’t have anything for you-”

in the blink of an eye his hands are clasped tightly around yours, his face incredibly close to yours that you’re stupefied into silence. “i. insist.”

you stare at him for another three seconds before relenting, opening the velvet box with the utmost care in fear that you might drop it in the water; a horrifying thought. 

a gasp of delight slips out of your mouth when you see an emerald necklace beaming brightly in your face. it’s in the shape of a pendant, encrusted around a halo plate with gold surrounding it, and from the looks of it, it couldn’t have been cheap.

looking back up at him to express the disbelief you feel, you’re silenced by the gentle look in his eyes, one that shines with adoration and devotion.

“it’s beautiful,” you whisper, unable to talk much louder in fear that it’ll cause the emerald to shatter in your hand. “you shouldn’t have.”

“i wanted to because i really like you. stop worrying.”

you exhale deeply, a little flustered and caught off guard by how candid he was. this feels suspiciously real.

“where did you learn to be so romantic?” you quiz, using humour to narrow how awkward you felt. 

“shoujos,” he answers shamelessly.

“ah.” makes sense as to why he makes you feel like you’re in one. “can you help me put the necklace on?”

the white-haired shines with glee, features brightening for a second. “y-yeah, of course.”

“thank you.” 

when he grasps the jewellery in his hold you turn around to expose the back of your neck to him, practically holding your breath when you feel his warm fingers brush against your skin, his touch barely there yet still prominent enough to blaze trials of fire where he caresses. 

“how do i look?” you ask, turning back around.

“beautiful,” he says, no louder than a whisper.

eventually the boat ride comes to an end and you return back to the dock. a lingering feeling of bliss and giddiness resonates in your chest, evident in the undeniable grin plastered on your face whilst you walk through the park; this time with a pretty gemstone adorning your neck. 

“nagi, look!” you exclaim, gesturing over to a company-branded photo booth that had set itself up in the middle of the park. there were various people lining up for one and judging by the pleased squeals from groups of students, it would be a nice memory to keep for today. “should we take one?”

“sure,” he shrugs, letting you drag him to hop in the queue which was going much faster than you anticipated. 

when it’s your turn, there’s hardly any time to discuss poses when the cameraman clicks the countdown button so unexpectedly. you reflexively hug nagi whilst smiling and he just gives a simple peace sign. he then stands behind you, wrapping his arms around you to place his head atop yours. finally, he bends down to kiss your cheek, rendering you completely mentally inable as you default a pose, not entirely too sure which one whilst you wait for the countdown and the camera flash. 

“you guys are so cute!” the photographer exclaims, handing your photobooth strips already. even then you hadn’t regained your senses, relying on nagi to guide you with his hand on the small of your back. 

glancing down at the photo strip, you’re stunned into speechlessness at the last photo. you can still remember the feeling of his lips on your cheek, specks of his warmth lingering on your skin whilst you continue trying to register what just happened.

you might explode or something. 

“cute,” nagi mumbles whilst putting the photo strip into his wallet, pulling you in by the waist to stand closer to him, whispering in your ear. “i still have one place i want to take you.” 

“do you?” you squeak, earning you a nod as he leads you through the park, coming to a stop when you enter a somewhat secluded section that had a sign labelled ‘private picnic rooms’ with various price ranges according to the number of people.

once again, he claims to have a reservation and you’re led by an attendant towards a specific area that had a table scattered with plates of snacks and various decorations. the vibe of the room was incredible with tatami mats, a floor to ceiling glass window that outlook the cherry blossoms, and if you tried hard enough, you could hear a stream running. 

“you… really outdid yourself,” you murmur, wandering over to one side of the table, expecting him to sit on the other. instead, he takes the spot right beside you.

you’re not too sure if this layout is how the establishment intended it to be but it is now.

“so you like it?” 

“i do. i love everything you’ve done today, you’re too good for me.”

“not true,” he grumbles, too quiet for you to address it further but loud enough for you to hear.

your relationship doesn’t make any sense to you. why is nagi trying so hard to impress you when this relationship was just for beneficial gain? what does he get from booking a pedal boat ride, buying you a (clearly expensive) emerald necklace, then taking you to have a private picnic? 

picking up a piece of halved mochi with the provided fork, you give the first bite to nagi who is more than happy to oblige, chewing on it with a satisfied expression. 

he’s so cute, you could pinch him.

your eyes then flit over to the decorations on the table, reaching over to the branch of cherry blossoms in a vase before you could think, ripping off one of the sticks with the bloomed flower and putting it in nagi’s hair and behind his ears. his adorableness just tripled.

“aww you look really cute with pink!”

“ya think so?” 

“yeah! you’re so pretty nagi,” you reach over to fiddle with the flower, not registering how close you’d gotten to him until you feel his breath fan across your face.

then you comprehend it, frozen in place for a second as you study nagi’s beauty from an angle you hadn’t before. how his snowy hair fanned perfectly over his forehead, the way the light bounced in the reflection of his eyes, and the imperfections that littered across his skin all contributed towards making the pretty being that was nagi seishiro. 

he leans in. you freak out, instinctively turning your head.

your breath gets caught in your throat when you feel nagi’s lips brush against the corners of your mouth, lingering there for a moment before parting and the look of hurt that flashes across his face hurts your soul. 

did you do the right thing? you thought you did- you know nagi isn’t into you the way you are into him. this relationship was made for media attraction, for him to gain more seconds of fame, so why does he keep acting like you two are real? why does he keep protecting your identity from the internet, why did he wear a disguise when meeting you when he would have wanted to boast that he was taken, why does he want to kiss you?

why does he look so hurt when he didn’t?

this was all so confusing.

tension lingers in the air for the rest of the date. you try to compensate for it by being a little more affectionate, giving in to your desires of openly loving him for the day. nagi’s satisfied.

you don’t notice how the cherry blossom fell from his ear.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

you won’t find answers to your questions for a long time. in fact, the amount of questions you had quadrupled one night when you had spent the day at nagi’s apartment after work one day to watch a tv show that was on his ‘to-watch’ list.

“stay the night?” asks nagi, resting his head on your shoulder to give you his best puppy-dog eyes. you will yourself to not look at him by keeping your gaze firm on the television screen. 

“oh this episode sounds good. maybe we can watch this then i’ll get going,” you mutter whilst fiddling with the remote, dutifully ignoring his pleads and the way he tugs at you; something that does not resonate well with him. 

“oi. don’t ignore me.”

with a rough exhale, you finally turn towards him. “i can’t.”

“why not? we don’t have work tomorrow.” 

“i know but i just feel bad to bother you and take up your space.”

“you’re not botherin’ me. there’s so much space here, it feels empty without you.”

“nagi-”

“-won’t you call me seishiro? or something more romantic?”

the relationship shifts with his very words and you feel the genuine desperation that bleeds from nagi through his tone. when you look him in the eye, part of you shines with hope that maybe your relationship was real and not bred for media benefit.

in this moment of weakness, you let the top of your walls crumble.

“okay, seishiro.”

he beams. a smile so pure that you shatter like glass in his hands. “yay.”

you then find yourself underneath him as he lays his entire body weight over you, pressing you into the comfortable cushions of his couch as his hands delicately run up and down your waist. paralysed with confusion at the amount of love he pours into his touch, you keep forgetting that the higher you climb, the harder the inevitable fall will be. 

“stay the night, please?”

how could you say no when he was asking so nicely? “okay, seishiro.”

“yay.”

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“hey seishiro, are you ready?” you ask, fiddling with your rings as you round the corner of your living room where your oversized boyfriend is lounging across the couch whilst you got ready (boyfriend still feels weird to say even if he has zero problems with addressing himself by that title).

“yeah. let’s go-” he grumbles, cutting himself off when he glances over at you, eyes widening. “-whoa.”

heat rushes to your cheeks whilst nagi continues to shamelessly marvel at you, slowly standing up to cross the distance between you, his hands naturally hovering to hold your hips when he’s close enough. his gaze lingers even longer on the emerald necklace that sits between your collarbones. “like what you see?”

he stays silent for a second, leaving you to anticipate his answer. “we don’t have to go to isagi’s,” he mumbles. “how do we feel about staying in?” 

“don’t. your best friend is hosting this party, can’t you at least show up for him?” 

the white-haired sulks. “but you look so good. why should i celebrate that shortie instead of you?”

you push his face away, jokingly fed up with your boyfriend’s lazy attitude. “isagi is also my friend and i want to celebrate with him, just for an hour or two and then we can leave. deal?” 

“fine.”

twenty minutes later, you arrive at isagi’s place where a good amount of his closest friends had gathered, showing up far earlier than you and nagi did. 

truthfully, you were looking forward to isagi’s party since he was not throwing a massive rave where everyone was invited- those always ended up to be more unfortunate than fun in your opinion, and that wouldn’t exactly cater to his shy and sensible character. tonight was a gathering for his friends to hangout and celebrate. some you recognise from the team, some of them must be from high school or elsewhere.

bachira’s cheery face is the first one you see upon arrival, his smile wide as he practically bounces off the walls in excitement and you already begin to wonder just how many desserts and sweets he’s had upon arrival. 

“hey it’s the couple of the century!” he exclaims with a wink. nagi keens at bachira’s compliment, all proud and boastful as his hand creeps up to hold your hip protectively. “lookin’ good as always!” 

“yo, where’s isagi?” the white haired questions.

“around, i’ll take you to him c’mon!” 

the two soccer players are off before you can even count to three, nagi and bachira disappearing into the crowd as the hyperactive boy drags your 190 cm of a boyfriend through the crowd. well, at least he took the gift you both bought with him, but now you feel a little alone and very awkward.

walking around the hallways of isagi’s, you feel a little out of place since most of them seemed to be high school friends. it’s not until you reached the kitchen that you sigh in relief, met with the familiar, friendly faces of chigiri and reo who see you first.

“hey!” the red-haired calls out, waving at you as you walk over to them. “it’s good to see you, y/n, how are you?”

“hey chigiri, hey reo, i’m good! i just arrived but this seems like a cool gathering. isagi’s really outdone himself,” you greet.

“yeah he did. good way to unwind before the soccer season gets too crazy,” reo chips in. “nice outfit by the way, you served!”

“oh shut up, you look amazing yourself. you too chigiri.” 

“so… where’s nagi?” the purple-haired asks, checking his phone to see if he had received any texts from his best friend. “didn’t he come with you?”

“yeah but bachira dragged him to go talk to isagi as soon as i arrived. you know how he is.”

after a few more minutes of talking with the two, you finally pause the conversation out of concern about nagi’s whereabouts might be. you thought he’d come and find you after a while but guess you’ll search for him first. 

informing the pair first before breaking away, you wander into the rooms where bachira pulled nagi into, blindly hoping that they’ll be in there. to your chagrin, there were only a few unfamiliar faces spread along the couches, discussing something with a drink in their hand. you ignore the sight of otoya and one of isagi’s friends sitting too close for comfort.

when you walk into the next room, you stop in your tracks at the sight in front of you: nagi leaning against the wall with a stranger who clearly has no distinction of personal space, their hand resting on his chest. your heart plunges the bottom of your stomach as distraught settles within you because of the scene unfolding in front of you, chest churning with a distant ache that you can’t put your finger on.

then he looks over at you.

the instinct to turn around and run overpowers any rational judgement, especially when a flurry of emotions begin to well up inside you, causing you to sink further and further in an ocean of doubt and fear. 

you had no right to be jealous, not over nagi because you’re just his ‘pseudo-partner’, he’s not really yours and it’s moment like these that truly humble you into remembering. you’re just his ‘pseudo-partner’, you’re just his ‘pseudo-partner’, you’re just his-

“-where are you going?” comes an indifferent voice from behind you. all anxiety floods out of you like a broken dam. a warm, large hand tugs on your wrist and even if he had not spoke, you’d know from touch alone that it was nagi behind you. the multitude of times that he’s spent holding you, intertwining his hand with yours, and cherishing you has forced you to brand him into your memory. 

you are his. even if it is not mutual, you would be his until he stomps the fire out.

“i-i thought i was interrupting something,” you stammer, looking into at nagi’s doe eyes.

“you didn’t. actually, you made it better by coming,” he says before wrapping his arms around your torso. “that person wouldn’t leave me alone, such a pain. tried to say i was taken too, so glad you came.”

you return the hug, trusting his words. “glad i came too.”

nagi pulls you out of the water.

“can we leave yet? i don’t wanna be here anymore.”

“just a little longer. i haven’t even seen isagi yet. plus, we should dance.”

he gives you a quick look up and down before nodding in agreement. you smack his shoulder.

you manage to locate isagi rather quickly. he was near the food bar where refreshments and various desserts and snacks laid so after greeting him, wishing him ‘happy birthday’, and chatting with him for approximately five minutes before nagi started getting bitchy, you’re pulled into the dance floor by the white-haired. he said that they were playing a good song when you asked why he was being so impatient.

with a laugh, you give in.

nagi doesn’t really know how to dance but you can’t help but be a little entertained, deciding to end his awkwardness when you grab his hands and lead him through some moves, singing along to the song with each other. it ends with your arms around his neck and his around your waist (again) when a slower song plays. 

hiding your face in his chest, you breathe in the subtle aroma of his cologne that you urged him to put on earlier. when he gently prompts you to look up at him with a hand gently pulling on your hair, your breath gets caught in your throat at the close proximity as nagi stares at your lips, glancing up to meet your eyes again before leaning in.

this time you don’t feel as cruel, bracing yourself for the first sip of water after crossing the desert, for the final puzzle piece clicking into place, for the feeling of his lips slotting against yours; for the feeling of completion. 

instantly you relax at the sensation, melting into his embrace as you hold onto him a little tighter, wanting more. you want to take as much of him as he’ll allow and even then, you’ll cherish every last part.

you want him the same way the ocean longs for the moon.

parting from him makes you feel empty. the lidded look he gives you is full of temptation and… love?

snapping out of your reverie, you step away from him, using his dazed state to create some distance between the two of you as you come to your senses. senses that scream at you for possibly ruining… this. 

you hate that you keep running away from him, leaving him in the dust of the mess that are your feelings. it’s immature, irrational, and downright childish, really it is, but how else can you stop the way you’re about to burst at the seams? how can you stop yourself from devoting yourself fully to nagi seishiro if you don’t forcefully screw the lid over your emotions?

for the second time tonight, the white-haired chases after you because there was never another option. he despises being away from you and despises it even more when it’s him you’re running away from, wanting nothing more than to be by your side at all times.

for the second time tonight, he grabs your wrist but now, he leads you through isagi’s house, weaving through a series of well-kept and simply decorated rooms to finally arrive at a balcony. one that was untouched by the party goers.

“why do you keep doing this?” he asks, pleading for an answer as desperation laces his voice and eyes. “why do you keep running away?”

you’re stunned. he’s hurt by your carelessness and the way you constantly recoil from him as if he was electric, his powerful figure slouching, all his quiet confidence and stubbornness seeping out of him, running to pool at your feet. 

“am i doing something wrong? i thought you liked me.”

“i-i’m confused,” you stammer stupidly. 

he grows even more perplexed. “you’re confused? i’m even more confused! one second i think you like me then the next, you’re trying to avoid me. why do you keep doing this? i really really like you, y/n. but it doesn’t feel like you like me at all sometimes.”

“no!” you blurt out. “it’s not like that! i do like you, a lot, in fact i might even… love you? it’s just…”

as you try to recap the timeline of your relationship in the past few months, you find yourself at a loss for words as you truly realise the multitude of your stupidity. you might slap yourself in the face.

this entire time, nagi has liked you- genuinely liked you for who you are yet you’ve been denying the love he has been trying to share with you since you internalised it all to be a sham. that someone like nagi seishiro couldn’t want you in the same way you wanted him. you’ve been hurting him this entire time and you don’t know how to begin explaining why.

well… no other option than with one word at a time.

you go to grab both his hands, inhaling. “i didn’t think we got together based on genuine feelings.”

he recoils, eyebrows and nose scrunching. 

“i thought you were using me to- i don’t know, trend on the internet by teasing everyone with some sort of secret relationship which sounds so stupid, i know, but i just couldn’t believe that you would want me for me,” you ramble, only stopping to breathe. “these few months have been amazing but i lowkey thought you were going to break up with me and say something like ‘surprise! i’ve never liked you’ before leaving me. i don’t deserve someone like you and-” 

“what?”

you shut up.

“you thought you don’t deserve me? that’s the biggest lie i’ve ever heard. you’re perfect. i was the one that got lucky.”

“lucky? you? really?”

“yeah,” he breathes. “you’re like a gift sent by fate.”

that renders you speechless for a little. there’s more to say, you know there is because of the pregnant silence that lingers around the two of you for a little but maybe that’s for another time. 

are you dreaming? this feels surreal. maybe you’ll start floating too. 

“also, why would i want to trend for any other reason but soccer?”

“i don’t know! you asked me out really abruptly- i’ve never been asked out like that before! talk about confusing. and the paparazzi was waiting for us after too like, what was i supposed to think!”

“i see.”

“yeah.”

more silence.

“so… you love me?” nagi asks and you groan, removing your hands from his to cover your face from embarrassment. 

“i guess i do,” you grumble.

“hey, don’t hide from me,” the white-haired says before grabbing your wrists to lower them from your face. “i love you too.”

“really?”

“yeah.”

“that’s cool.”

“it is.”

you do both of you a favour by kissing him fervently. 

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“sei, shouldn’t you be getting ready for the match or whatever it is you athletes do?” you ask when nagi’s mop of white hair peaks up from behind the door to your physio office.

he steps out from behind the doorframe, crossing the distance to get to you. he’s sporting his blue lock tracksuit with his hands dug into his pocket and you’re a little envious of how comfortable he looks. “i was until i realised you weren’t there. i was waiting for you to show up.”

“well i don’t really have to be there early. i just get there around 20 or so minutes earlier.”

“i see.”

“why, did you want me there or something?” you ask with a cheeky eyebrow raise, poking him in his sides causing him to recoil a little from your touch.

“why else would i walk all this way?”

“a stunning 50 metres- i’m so sorry for your perilous journey,” you comment, placing a kiss on his cheek before walking away from him to set up your box of medical supplies including kinesio tapes, bandages, and cold spray. he slumps down on the waiting couch near the entrance.

your role as blue lock’s official therapist meant that you had to be on standby for the team at all time during official matches. even though you aren’t their nurse, you still bring first aid things like ice packs to minimise the amount of time spent travelling between offices, especially if that distance is not needed. 

after scanning the box for the last time and mentally ticking your checklist of materials required to bring, you pat your leg in satisfaction before standing up. “i can go to the field now. there’s probably tape changes that i need to do.”

nagi lazily grins, searching for your hand to help pull himself up. “yay.”

“you need to be warming up while we’re at it.”

“aw. okay.”

the walk back to the field is painless enough with nagi holding onto your hand for dear life whilst carrying your box of supplies for you. for someone who is about to compete in less than an hour, he is surprisingly calm, hardly different from his passive, pacifistic self. should you be nervous on his behalf?

stepping in to the field, you’re overwhelmed by the enormousness of blue lock’s home stadium, the lights shining down on you so brightly that you need a moment to recollect yourself. to think that all these empty seats will be filled with various people scares you mindless; even vacant it was still overwhelming.

“y/n!” isagi’s voice breaks you out of your reverie and he jogs over to you with that friendly smile of his. “what’s up?”

“hey isagi, sei dragged me out of my office,” you grumble before turning around to the white-haired who places your supplies on the ground, instructing him to: “go continue warming up.”

he grumbles something incoherent, leaning in to place a kiss on your forehead before running off, leaving you a little flustered as the dark-haired player waits patiently to talk to you.

“so what’s up?”

“i just needed my ankle to be retaped, is that okay?”

“that is my job so come over,” you say, beckoning isagi to one of the benches nearby where you decide to station yourself for the time being. 

whilst you’re unrolling the adhesive, he awkwardly sits there with his shoe and sock off, exposing his joint where he already you tape it for him. 

“do you want pink or blue tape?” you ask, holding up the two options.

“pink.”

the background noises of athletes shouting and kicking soccer balls fill the silence whilst you cut up the length needed to tape isagi’s ankle.

“how are you and nagi?” he asks.

“we’re good,” you respond, mentally reminding yourself to give isagi a present in exchange for his birthday being the sole reason why your relationship strengthened. “both been busy cause of the season but it’s fine.” 

“that’s okay, you’re making it work!” he reassures, “well, nagi is really happy.”

“is he now?” you ask, looking intently at your hands as they worked around isagi’s ankle, hiding your giddy expression from the soccer player. the effect nagi has on you will never disappear.

“yeah! always talks about you to us.”

“does he?”

“of course, why wouldn’t he? swears you’re the best thing to have happened to him in a long time or whatever.”

your heart warms uncontrollably. nagi seishiro was going to be your downfall. 

finishing up on isagi’s ankle, he tests it out quickly before thanking you and running off again to blend in with his teammates again. ‘don’t work too hard!’ you yell out after him.

after retaping chigiri’s knee, commanding karasu to do his recommended exercises, and other various checkups, the boys are ushered back into the stadium so the audience could begin filing in. before nagi went in, he runs over to you, bundling you in his arms despite the various exclaims of ‘hurry up!’ yelled at your white-haired partner.

“gotta go,” he says breathily.

“wait, shouldn’t you take this off?” you ask, gesturing to your hair tie which sat snugly at his wrist. 

“do i have to?”

“you can always rewear it after the match sei, it’s not a big deal.” 

“fine. i’ll see you soon then.”

you give him a smile of reassurance, hugging him back. “go. i’ll be watching, my superstar.”

his eyes shine. “cheer for me, won’t you?”

“of course i will. i’m your lucky charm,” you tease but he takes your statement quite literally, grinning at what you say which only illuminates the cheery look on his face.

“can my lucky charm give me a kiss?”

cupping his face, you quickly place a peck on his nose before lightly pushing him away. you know the kiss is not good enough to satiate his hunger but perhaps that’s just what you want from him, to try hard for a better reward. and in this case, by trying harder, he would bring home the trophy.

“go line up!” you command. 

nagi grumbles something before stepping away, “i’ll score for you.” 

he dashes towards the stadium entrance, leaving you in a lovesick daze as you watch him retreat. someone clears their throat behind you and you remember where you are, sitting down to preserve some professionalism. 

sitting in the medics corner was scary, especially as you watch every seat getting gradually filled with an onslaught of different people, but all you need to do for the 90 minutes is watch and be attentive to the game and the health of the players. an easy job for the amount of pay you get.

when the teams walks out into the field, everyone in the stands erupt into a roar, waving their various flags and colours. despite the chaos, nagi looks over at you and you blow him a kiss, unsure of whether or not he could actually see you. 

as everything settles down, the match finally begins, starting off with a bang. from time to time you talk with the two other blue lock medics and spend the other moments admiring your boyfriend in his athletic glory.

it’s not until almost halftime that something disastrous happens. when itoshi rin collides face-first into another player, toppling over on the field on top of each other, the crowd erupts into a series of gasps and concerned noises. as the referee’s whistle is called, you three official blue lock staff scramble to the middle of the field where a crowd was gathering around the two, trying to help their soccer players but stepping out of the way when you approach.

“where are you?” one medic begins asking.

“the stadium. we’re in the middle of a match,” comes rin’s gruff tone.

“you are?”

“itoshi rin.”

“how many fingers am i holding up?”

“four.”

“what hurts?”

“my fucking face,” rin snarkily replies, trying to stand up but not making it past his knees as he stumbles a little, holding on to his nose. “shit.”

taking his hand away, there are droplets of red coating his skin and you snake yourself under his arm in order to assist with helping him to the medic’s area, another nurse doing the same. hopefully it’s not serious and he won’t need be to sent to hospital, only benched by ego. which, he was. 

in your panic, you don’t register any of the commotion happening within the players themselves whereas nagi, on the other hand, hears it all clearly. how a player on the team he was playing against says something like ‘look at that cutie. reckon i could cuff ‘em?’ where his friend replies with a ‘yeah dude. seems like a babe to be honest, workin’ as a nurse and shit’, geturing to you.

nagi has never felt such an overwhelming urge to punch someone, to jump the two players and tear them apart with the fury he feels accumulating in his insides.

the whistle to notify that the game was continuing disrupts nagi’s train of thought. he goes back into position but not without snaring at the opposition. 

blue lock seems to be doing fine without their number one player for the remainder of the game; in fact, nagi is practically dominating the whole field as he shoots, earning goals left and right for blue lock. he’s moving with unmatched determination; a blazing kind that you’ve never seen from him despite having seen countless of his games. you wonder what happened to him since rin got injured, where did the calm, unbothered nagi go? why are you kind of scared of your boyfriend right now?

maybe your good luck kiss worked in giving him the boost you predicted.

however, you never could have predicted the huge turnaround that your life would take when nagi’s jealousy gets too ahead of itself. when his urge to show the world whose you are outspeaks his rationality, too caught up in the torments of untamed jealousy. he’s never felt this way before; a carnal desire so inherent that it makes him feel bare.

only you could do this to him.

and only you could fix the ugly monster inside him

when blue lock scores the goal needed to take the trophy home, the stadium is deafening, so loud that you need to cover your ears from the unrestrained passion of fans and watchers alike, the buzz of excitement unmatched. 

nagi is awarded man of the match, taking home a shiny trophy in recognition of his athleticism and remarkable talents. yet the first thing he does when taking his prize is not rush over to his teammates and… do whatever it is that men do, but to run over to where you reside, a possessive and dark look in his eyes. it sends shivers down your spine. 

he sweeps you into his arms, winding you so close that you can feel the body heat radiating from him, even through the fabric of his jersey. the trophy presses against your back.

“can i kiss you?” nagi questions although it sounds more like a demand, especially with that breathy voice due to how much he’s been running around.

short circuiting for a moment, you reply: “but everyone’s watching.”

“let them.”

you’re well aware of the multitude of cameras that may be pointed at you and nagi. if you act stupidly, it will appear on the internet and who knows what repercussions it might bring, are you ready to be thrown into a life of chaos, joining alongside your boyfriend?

the answer is obvious when you take the initiative of kissing him, allowing him to devour you whole: his first act of establishing just exactly who you were to the entire world.

you adore how scandalous this feels.

his second act comes mere minutes later at the exit where paparazzi and media were waiting patiently behind barriers for their star players. this time, instead of leaving alone or with his teammates, there’s an unidentified figure accompanying him, hugged close to his side and proudly wearing his jersey. the very one that boasts ‘NAGI’ along the back. everything descends into chaos. 

an immense feeling of deja vu encompasses you when you recall the day nagi asked you out and the overwhelming lineup of paparazzi and photographers that waited for him outside. it’s different now. you feel confident in your place beside nagi, looking perfect to him in his clothes- as if you were meant to be his.

nagi walks in front of you to use his stature to protect from the greedy eyes of the internet whilst you use your hands to cover your face as best as possible, all to ensure your privacy from those who are going to eat these photos up when they see them. 

and- well, if everyone is going to see them then why not send a little message whilst nagi’s here?

the kiss nagi sneaks on your neck is entirely proprietorial, a clear sign of affection for the whole world to see as he eyes the cameras with a deadly look in his eyes. 

“mine,” he mutters in your ear, sending one last glare over his shoulder before disappearing from their nosiness and intruding flashes.

the cameras can see your hair tie that slips up when his sleeves are tugged too short.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

your notifications are rampant the next morning, mostly because of friends, and ‘#nagi seishiro’ has taken the internet by storm once again.

this feeling of anxiety settling in your stomach will never go away whenever you check social media to see if any of your information has been leaked and by whatever miracle, you’re absolutely relieved to see that nothing drastic has been revealed.

speaking of boyfriend, nagi stirs from where he lays beside you, stretching for a moment before patting the bed in search for your warmth. 

shutting off your phone and putting it down, you watch him try to locate you, unable to stop the smile from stretching at the corner of your lips. he’s adorable. even more so when he has to open one eye because his instincts were failing him.

“oh. why are you awake?” he asks groggily, still adjusting to consciousness. nagi tries to sit up to rest on his elbows only to fail miserably and fall face-first into his lush pillow.

“body clock,” you say. you’ll talk about yesterday later. right now, it was just you and him and the soft glow of the sun saying good morning.

“turn it off and go back to sleep.”

“fine.”

“c’mere,” nagi beckons you over weakly, hands reaching for your figure but falling short due to the enormous size of his bed.

it’s not like nagi to splurge on things but it is like him to splurge on getting the most comfortable bed ever, so when he demands you to fall back asleep, how could you say no when it feels like napping on a cloud? and with your adorable boyfriend? some things in life come too easy.

shuffling back towards him, he’s quick to throw an arm and a leg around you, trapping you in. 

“my body hurts,” whines nagi. “so much.”

“what do you want me to do about that?”

“massage later, please?” 

“is that all i am to you?” you question teasingly whilst rubbing hearts into his skin.

“maybe,” he sings.

astounded, you give him your best look of betrayal. “we’re breaking up.”

“no, don’t do that,” nagi pleads, hugging you closer as if you were going to get up from his vice grip in the first place. “don’t be mean.”

“oh sure because i’m the mean one,” you joke as he burrows his head into your neck. instinctively, your hands card through his hair, extra soft from washing it last night. after a moment of silence, you speak up. “you’re trending again because of me so just remember that what i said about our fame-grabbing relationship was true.”

“i didn’t mean for that to happen. i’m just too good,” he takes his head out of your neck, doe eyes looking up at you with heart wrenching awe. “and i love you too much to hide it.”

you pat his cheek, unable to stop a wide, dreamy smile from appearing on your face. “go back to sleep.”

“‘k. goodnight.” the second nagi’s head hits his pillow, he’s out like a light. 

it’s a little surreal to be wrapped in his embrace like this, to be able to gaze at his features so closely and unabashedly whilst his arms extend to mould you into him. even being as close as humanly possible isn’t enough for nagi who has an unlimited desire for more, at all times. 

if it’s you he wants, then you’ll happily grant it.

the last thing you see before falling into a deep slumber is a hair tie that lies on his bedside table.

[theyluvlyss]

𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐈 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭...

...you'll be able to find each ghost boy (under their respective section, ofc lol) in the master list all with the same title :). I decided to just do them all one at a time to keep from having you wait any longer/forcing myself to pump them all out in one go/one long ass post lmao.

plus, to hopefully make it easier, I'll just tag you each time as the requester so you know, if that's okay lol♡.

𝐄𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐎𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬

《 ♡ 》 headcannons

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 :

while it's always fun to imagine (haha, get it💀) what it'd be like for him to be your best friend or your boyfriend, there's times when you yearn for that tension. that something in between that's more than a platonic relationship, but just short of being a lover. and I'm here to revive that feeling of what it'd be like for robin arellano to have a crush on you...

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 :

fem!reader x robin arellano - she/her/hers pronouns!

𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞 :

70s-80s - the grabber doesn't exist

𝐓𝐖/𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 :

cursing - robin lowkey being a menace💀 - him also liking you tho - mentions of fighting/violence - manhandling,,, kind of?? (idk I personally wouldn't call it that, but- 😭✋🏽) - me focusing a little too much on the jealousy stuff lol whoops🧍🏽‍♀️...

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

I feel like he doesn't really "crush" on ppl. He finds people attractive and that's about as far as that's gonna go lmfao. If anything, he finds it fun to recognize/point out the difference between when people are conventionally/deemed by society's standards "attractive" vs when HE actually finds somebody to be a good looker to HIM (he wanna be different so bad🙄✋🏽).

But like I said, him finding someone hot doesn't really go anywhere. He doesn't do/say anything about, nor go out of his way to force things, especially when there's no prior connection/feelings there.

On that note, I feel like for him to have a crush on you (reader), two things would need to be an order; You'd have to attract him one way or another. Like, there's gotta be something about you that makes him have that, "Oh, she's fine as hell, I gotta talk to her." mindset towards you, even if he'd have yet to act on it. And, there's gotta be, like I said, a prior connection.

Or, you could get lucky, and a very specific set of circumstances could spark something up between y'all. He's not opposed to a meet-cute😻.

If y'all were already friends/close, he'd deny👏🏽deny👏🏽deny👏🏽 having feelings for so long. Not towards you, but towards himself. He would deadass be lying to himself about liking you romantically, even a little a bit, but unfortunately, it'd be one of those things that sneaks up on him one day and then just all comes crashing down into one existential crisis.

But even after accepting them, he'd STILL not bother to do anything about it - not bc he doesn't think he has a chance (well, maybe a little bit, but see if he'd tell anyone that), but also bc he doesn't want to ruin the friendship between y'all.

He'd hate to lose you just because he woke up "...on some bullshit, bro, I can't believe I like her..." one day, so he's more than likely to keep quiet about it.

Although, he can say that's what he's doing all he wants, his actions kind of prove otherwise; he might accidentally drop a subtle hint or two, and the stuff that he normally does that held the air of friendship and loyalty suddenly becomes a bit more,,, ✨️🧡💫💋, ykwim?

If he's walking with you, maybe crossing the street or something, he could care less about how far you are behind him if it meant getting to the nearest idk Burger King or whatever faster💀✋🏽. Or at school - sure, he might be on the look out for you if he's bored, or should he hear anyone tarnishing your name without you there to defend yourself on your own, shoot them a dirty look. And even just hanging out at the drive-in; it's viewed as more of a casual hangout than anything.

But let a crush develop some,,, let him become a little infatuated with you... Now, all of the sudden, crossing the street is a whole ordeal; checking for cars is routine now, and whether you like it or not, he's got a hand wrapped around your wrist and is tugging you along gently with an alertness that both amused and perplexed you. And at school, he's now taking any free time he may have to actually go looking for you instead of your paths crossing due to natural coincidence, just to act as though he had no time at all to waste with you, and would pester you at your locker whenever he did spot you.

And, as much as he hated the way his hands would clam up and how his heart would beat out of his chest and how he practically had to force himself not to look for your reaction to every single scene of the movie he picked, he was insistent on having a specific schedule for going out to the movies now. And no, he'd never, ever let you pay, even when you really should've and definitely could've.

But...

Say if he hadn't known you beforehand tho, and y'all met through some sort of meet-cute or whatever,,, him starting to like you would be a little easier of a process for him.

Something he wouldn't be so against because there's "nothing" to ruin or fuck up besides his chances with you, so now he can pretty much just focus on not screwing that up.

He's way quicker to drop hints (not saying he's any smoother with it, but that's not gonna stop him from doing it lmfao cuz who finna check him😗😹).

It's things like really obvious (almost bad) flirting, and teasing that isn't in the same way as he might do with his regular friends. If anything, he might use it as an excuse to always be touching you in some way - OMG TELL ME HE WOULDN'T BE A CHRONIC "You got something on your shirt..." JUST TO FLICK YOUR FACE TYPE OF PERSON LMFAO!!

You'd hate it and look at him like, "😐" and he'd just get a kick out of it, looking at you and laughing every single time like he's comedy fckn central💀.

Or if he's telling you a story - probably about the last time he beat someone up - he's using you as "the other guy", gently tapping you with ghost punches and moving you about by the shoulders when need be lmao. And even just in general, when he's not storytelling,,, give him ONE good reason to try and be physical, and he'll take it and SPRINT.

And if you notice that fact (there's no way you possibly couldn't), all he'll do is smirk at you and go, "It's fine, you like it😌."

Bro just slaps on an obnoxious and obscene amount of confidence and calls it a day, basically. Fake it 'til you make it type of thing, and it most definitely works (you wouldn't be reading this if it didn't🤭🤷🏽‍♀️). But of course, let it be known he'd never do anything to make you uncomfortable. I just imagine he's rather cocky in his abilities to woo someone if he really, really wanted it, and well... it's you, so...

He really, really wants you LMFAO😭. Anyways, back on track...

I feel like he's definitely the jealous type, but he won't do anything about it/won't get outta pocket unless your well-being is at stake. Like, if you were clearly uncomfy in a situation, or you specifically came to him on some, "This guy's bothering me..." type shit, oh, it's 0-100 rq. He's absolutely beating the shit out of that person (more so than when he's just in a regular fight).

Because of that, he'll definitely be scary dog privilege, like, I'm sorry, but,,, I feel like he's the type to - once he decides he's gunning for you - that's it. Not in a possessive way, just in the sense that he's totally made up his mind and, as much as he likes to maybe slap on a chill and nonchalant-type persona, he actually cares very deeply about things and people that have an affect on him.

He's also a go-getter, so with all of that in mind, it makes sense that even if you didn't reciprocate his feelings, he'd STILL make it known that he don't play about you lmfao. But even so, jealousy is also one of those things he just deny-deny-denies, will totally brush it off if you bring it up, even if you tease him for it.

But, he is a dork at the end of the day lmao tease him long enough and he'll eventually fold and just be like, "Nah it's just cuz I treasure you and I like you, like... would you rather I didn't care or just ignored it whenever a guy looked at you crazy? Exactly, hush, you love me😌✨️🧡." Once again, it's that seemingly blind confidence that definitely has you shaking your head a lot with a giggles escaping you, but YOU ALSO DON'T SAY NO/TELL HIM OTHERWSIE, SOOO😆🤭...!!

Honestly, with Robin being jealous, I feel like it's one of those things you dk/even realize he's feeling until it's "too late" - he's stalking towards someone you've complained about making you uncomfortable or he's already done what he needs to do, he's coming back to you, and after a short conversation with you pressing him about why and whatnot, it just hits you, and you're like, "Oh...Oh my god, you're jealous🤭..." and he's all "nO😡....."

"You lyin'?😆"

"...yeah😔..."

Although, jealously for you surprisingly isn't often. Like sure, girls dk how to back off, but not only are you both pretty secure, but he's also very reassuring. Both in speaking directly to you, telling you he doesn't really have eyes for them, AND towards the other people. He breaks hearts left and right, and it's highkey not even on purpose...

Bro just doesn't know how to let folks down easy - so much so that sometimes even YOU feel bad😭. Sometimes...

"You didn't have to say it to her like that...!"

"Wha-? But it's true! Should I have lied? Like..."

"No, but I'm just-! ... You need to learn to be more sensitive about these things😭..."

"Fym, I'm the most sensitive guy I know😙."

"...The kid whose nose you broke a month ago would say otherwise, but okay🙃."

But otherwise, if and when you're not scolding him, he finds your envy to be very endearing and validating. It lets him know that you are actually thinking about him in the romantic sense like he is you, and he just likes seeing you get all worked up lmfao. Something about your brows being furrowed and the heated look in your eyes reminds him of, well, himself! And he takes a little bit of pride in that, if he's being honest with himself, especially if it's a rare occurrence.

If you're normally this little sweetheart, and you're not exactly on the violent and/or temperamental side, in those moments where you might snap a little bit, he's DEFINITELY paying the most attnetion and he's DEFINITELY standing there like, 'Omgomgthat'shot-...' 💀😭.

If anything, I feel like these strong emotions from either one of you two could for sure be the gateway into him finding out/realizing you like him back...

Like, you'd definitely slip up one time, say something you weren't supposed to, or he'd reassure you way too much and let something slip, SOMETHING LIKE THAT, and either way, he finds out and he's like "Ohp🫢...AAAAH😃🫵🏽⁉️....YOU LIKE MEEEEE I KNEWWW ITTT🤪😘🫵🏽!!!"

He'd probably be too busy celebrating the fact he "...always knew and I'm always right about these things, blahblahblah..." while you stand there like, "🙄😒..." to remember there's actually supposed to be something following up after a whole ass love confession💀.

But, because you do, in fact, love him, I'm sure you'd be the one to fill in that gap, and short after, a very chaotic yet loving/meaningful relationship would ensue.

THAT BOY LOVESSS YOU, OKAAAY💋🧡✨️‼️‼️‼️

𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐥...

...as I was writing this one (well, adding onto what had already been written), the app glitched, and the whole thing deleted itself...

shit pmo so bad, I just didn't touch it again for like a whole month😭✋🏽. it's also part of the reason why it's shorter than I actually intended, so I apologize, but I hope all enjoy it regardless🙏🏽♡.

next up is vance, tho !!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 :

@in3rci4

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 :

1,830 words

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 :

none :(

[niki-phoria]

Can we get some headcanons or short little blurbs on how enha would comfort m!reader when he can't sleep? Could be established relationships or not! Romantic or platonic, it's up to you!

ALL THE WAYS I GOT TO KNOW YOUR PRETTY FACE AND ELECTRIC SOUL

enha comforting their insomniac boyfriend !!

male reader (he/him pronouns used)

HEESEUNG

“why are you still up?” heeseung’s voice cracks slightly; each word drips with the remnants of sleep. stray strands of his disheveled hair stick up at odd angles, making you chuckle beneath your breath. 

“i can’t sleep,” you reply, turning to lay on your side. heeseung sighs, reaching over to pull you into his hold as if it’s second nature. he allows his eyes to flutter closed as you lean your head against his shoulder, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. 

heeseung’s arms wrap comfortably around your waist, tugging your body even closer until there’s no space left between you. your legs tangle together beneath your blankets; your arms find a home resting lazily across heeseung’s chest. 

a comfortable silence falls over your bedroom once again, only interrupted by the occasional whirr of the dorm’s heater turning on and blasting hot air throughout the vents. your eyes wander around heeseung’s room, taking in the details despite the darkness obscuring your view: the notebooks filled with half-finished songs laid across his desk. the deer plush you had won for him from an arcade claw machine. your jacket lying carefully laid across the back of his chair as if to preserve the fabric as opposed to the variety of heeseung’s own clothing haphazardly thrown across the room without care.

heeseung hasn’t moved since he first pulled you to lay on his chest, but you can tell he’s still awake. his breathing isn’t as deep as it should be and he snores - no matter how much he refuses to admit it. 

“you should get some rest,” you murmur, finally breaking the prolonged silence once again. 

“so should you,” he replies. your protests die on your tongue when heeseung shifts to look down at you. he softly smiles as he trails his fingertips along the curve of your jaw. “just close your eyes. i’ll be here when you wake up.”

JAY

jay lets out a disgruntled groan when he’s shaken awake, squinting at you through tired eyes. he blinks a few times at you in the darkness, waiting for his eyes to adjust. “what is it?” he mumbles. 

“i can’t sleep.” 

a beat of silence passes. you study jay’s expression, waiting for any sort of reaction from the other man. the numerous apologies lingering on the tip of your tongue are stolen away when jay leans in, pressing a feather-light kiss to your lips. his touch is gone just as soon as it’s there. you find yourself resisting the urge to follow his lips when he pulls away. 

“come here,” he finally mumbles, opening his arms as an invitation. you accept it immediately, shuffling across the bed until your body is pressed against jay’s. leaning your head against his chest, jay tucks his chin against the top of your head. “close your eyes.” 

you obey, letting your eyes flutter closed and nuzzling yourself even closer to him. “i found a new recipe today,” jay murmurs. his hands slip underneath the hem of your t-shirt, rubbing miscellaneous shapes into your bare skin. “i think you would like it. jungwon offered to help me go shopping and prepare some of the ingredients.”

jay pauses when a deeper, longer breath escapes you. he smiles when he feels your body relax against his chest; the stress and worry of the day leaves you in waves until only the boy he fell in love with so long ago remains. 

leaning down, jay presses a chaste kiss against your temple. “sweet dreams, love,” he murmurs into the dark before he closes his own eyes, letting sleep overtake him once more.

JAKE

jake is annoyed. it’s painfully obvious, from the way his eyebrows furrow in confusion to his small frown as if he’s still in disbelief about being woken up so suddenly. he squints at you in the darkness; his face shines silver from the moonlight seeping in through your still-open blinds. the light is just barely enough to illuminate your features. 

his face relaxes almost as soon as his tired eyes meet your wide-awake ones. his voice is deep and raspier than usual - the last remaining remnants of sleep still dripping like honey from each word. “what’s wrong?”

“i can’t sleep,” you murmur in return. jake hums, shifting slightly so his body just barely brushes against your own. he smiles softly when you slide across the covers, wrapping your arms around him. 

you rest your head against his chest, just above his sternum; he can feel you angle yourself so you can hear his steady heartbeat beneath your ears. jake rolls onto his back, staring up at the ceiling as if the perfect remedy will somehow engrave itself into the drywall above. 

thankfully, you already seem to have one. “sing for me?”

he bites back a soft chuckle in favour of looking downwards. jake’s gaze studies your face; his eyes trail down the slope of your nose and linger on your plump lips just a little longer than necessary. “do you have any requests?” he finally asks.

“no,” you hum, nuzzling yourself even closer to him. even with the fabric of his shirt separating your skin, jake can feel the heat radiating off of your body. it makes his heart race and cheeks flush no matter what he does his best to disguise the feeling. jake nods into the darkness. a beat of silence passes before he begins, voice quietly filling the space of your otherwise silent bedroom. “it’s like a polaroid love. love, that old-fashioned feeling but my heart is racing. why am i like this?”

SUNGHOON

“are you okay?” you nearly jump at the quiet whisper from the man beside you, forcibly ripping you away from your swirling thoughts and bringing you back into reality. 

“i’m fine,” you finally sigh, rolling over to face him. “just can’t sleep.” 

sunghoon hums, reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair away from your face. your heart rate picks up when his hand falls to your shoulder, gently trailing his fingertips against the junction of your neck and shoulder. 

the quiet breath of relief that escapes you in response is embarrassing - mortifying, even. you freeze almost immediately, suddenly overly thankful for the darkness concealing both your embarrassment and sunghoon’s reaction.

he doesn’t immediately pull away like you’re expecting. instead, he breaks the silence with yet another whisper. “you’re tense.” another beat of silence passes before his hands are on your chest, pushing you onto your back. “roll over.”

your questions die on the tip of your tongue as you silently obey. sunghoon’s hands just barely brush against your skin as he gently presses his palm against the center of your back. he waits for a second before he presses the pads of his fingertips into the tense muscles in your shoulders. 

you softly sigh in response, letting him continue his ministrations. with no complaints leaving your lips and the stress all but dripping off of you, sunghoon continues. he shifts, pushing himself up to get a better angle. his touch becomes more confident; his hands apply more pressure, slowly relieving the stiffness from your body. 

sunghoon’s movements pause when he notices your breathing has slowed. your soft snores occasionally break the silence. smiling to himself, sunghoon leans in to press a chaste kiss against the back of your shoulder blade. “goodnight, y/n.”

SUNOO

“can’t sleep?” sunoo asks, quietly slipping into the kitchen. you acknowledge his presence with a glance over your shoulder and a soft sigh leaving your lips. 

sunoo leans against the counter beside you, studying your features. the dim kitchen light paints the entire room in a golden glow - one that he’s only used to seeing during quiet mornings when he studies your relaxed features for just a little too long. 

this time, the light only seems to illuminate the exhaustion present on your features. your shoulders are stiff, even as you lean against the counter for support. sunoo can clearly read just how desperate you are to rest, and just how difficult your mind is making it to actually get some.

“i’m sorry,” he finally murmurs. the quietness of his voice is almost overpowered by the whistle of the kettle beside you.

you offer a soft, sad smile in response. your shoulders sag as you sigh, letting your eyes flutter shut for a second. “it feels like i’ve tried everything.”

“i know.” sunoo’s mind races, searching for any sort of reassurance that will make you feel better. unfortunately, he still hasn’t found any by the time you’ve poured two cups of tea, sliding one across the counter to him. 

sunoo accepts it with a grateful smile, resting his cold hands against the warm ceramic. “can i do anything to help?”

there’s a beat of silence just long enough to make sunoo reconsider his words before you speak once again. “i don’t want to be alone right now.”

sunoo reaches up, resting his hand against your cheek. your eyes flutter closed at the contact; your body instinctively relaxes against his hand. sunoo’s thumb brushes against the dark circles staining the skin beneath your eyes before finally settling against your cheek. “then i’ll stay with you.”

you smile softly, reaching up to take his hand into your own. sunoo’s cheeks burn brightly when you press a gentle kiss against his wrist. “thank you.”

JUNGWON

“what do you usually do when you can’t sleep?” 

you let a quiet sigh escape your lips, shaking your head in defeat. turning onto your side to face him, you catch one of jungwon’s hands into your own. “i just wait until it passes.” 

he frowns softly. he remains quiet for a moment as you begin to play with his hands, trailing your fingers along the ebbs and flows of his knuckles. his hands feel soft against your own, even when you reach the calluses on his palms.

you nearly startle when he softly gasps, eagerly pulling his hand away from your own. you watch in confusion as he quickly stumbles over to his desk, grabbing his computer before sliding into bed beside you. 

“what are you doing?” 

jungwon’s smile grows as he sets his now-open computer down in the space between you. his fingers fly across the keys as he logs in before opening netflix, clicking through a variety of tv shows and movies until he finds what he was looking for. 

wrapping his arms around your waist, jungwon tugs you to lay back down before he makes himself comfortable against your chest. you can all but feel the excitement radiating off of him as he curls up beside you. “just watch,” he says, gesturing towards the opening credits. 

you only listen to him for a second, watching as the opening credits fade to black before the screen lights up once again, illuminating the dark room in a glow of colour. “we’re watching a movie?”

“it’s your favourite,” jungwon hums. 

you can feel your face flush despite your best efforts. jungwon has always known exactly how to fluster you, you suppose. “thank you,” you whisper. reaching over, you push a stray strand of hair back into place.

jungwon’s only response comes in the form of a soft smile and a chaste kiss pressed against your jaw before he lays back down in his rightful place - lying comfortably on your chest.

NIKI

niki startles awake with a sigh, glancing over at you with an accusatory glare. “stop stealing the blankets,” he sleepily mumbles, tugging the fabric covering both of your bodies until you’re both covered once again.

“i’m sorry,” you whisper, pushing even more of the duvet to his side. “i didn’t mean to wake you.”

niki props himself up on his arm, twisting around until he’s fully facing you. through the darkness, niki can just barely make out your tired features. “what’s wrong?” he asks, all venom slipping away almost as quickly as it was there. 

“i can’t sleep.” a defeated sigh escapes you as you roll onto your back, staring up at the ceiling. niki frowns as he shuffles a little closer to you. he moves without thinking, wrapping his arms around you and moving to rest his head against your chest. his heart beats rapidly in his chest at the minimal space between your bodies. sharing a bed had never been an uncommon experience, but neither of you had ever pushed the boundaries this much before.

niki catches his bottom lip between his teeth, anxiously awaiting your reaction. instead of pushing him off like he expected, you smile. his face flushes when you reach up, gently carding your hands through his hair. niki remains silent, simply watching as you twist his bangs between your fingers. a content sigh escapes him, making you smile in response.

“why do you like playing with my hair so much?” he finally whispers, breaking the comfortable silence. your movements pause for a second before you continue, carefully untangling his disheveled bed hair as best as you can with one hand.

“i don’t know,” you hum, gently scraping your nails against his scalp. “it’s just… relaxing, i guess. do you want me to stop?” 

“not if it helps you fall asleep,” niki replies, only half-joking as he twists to glance up at you. 

you smile in response, leaning down to press a kiss against his forehead. “sweet dreams, ki.”

notes: i'm sorry for the lack of fics lately, i've been busy with school and i've been absolutely captivated by a fanfic i found so i haven't been writing much sknds gonna be totally honest i started running out of ideas really quickly but i loved this idea !! thank you for requesting and i hope you like it <33

if you enjoyed this fic, please consider leaving a like, comment, feedback, or rebloging !! and if you want to support me, check out my enha imagines or more enha reactions <3

[vigilskeep]

Wait what’s the dynamic of Alistair and Minerva? Could’ve been lovers but worse actually ? Or something else?

well that really is the question all of ferelden asks itself daily

what alistair and minerva endure together makes them truly inseparably close during most of dao, that kind of forged-under-fire bond. minerva has so much faith in alistair’s protection and loyalty that he’s the only person she really feels safe being publicly affectionate with, and alistair trusted her, thought the world of her as his leader, and followed her anywhere. but the friendship messily explodes when minerva’s political agenda leads her to spare loghain at the landsmeet. which is what i refer to as their platonic divorce

they love each other a lot, and no matter what point the relationship is at, harm to the other would be unbearable to them both. but there were always fault lines in the relationship liable to at some point erupt, major ones including: a) alistair’s history with the templars and certain mindsets he was taught, vs minerva’s lifelong trauma with them that she only during dao even begins to come to terms with. b) minerva does not have the sense of honour or justice alistair assumes is universal among those he considers good, which leads him to wrongfully assume she would draw his same line with loghain without it having to be discussed, and to no longer be able to categorise her as “good” when she suddenly fails his standard. c) she is a manipulative political person who, due to circle mage backstory horrors and growing up as a first enchanter in the making, simply has never been taught and does not believe that individuals getting the lives they want is realistic or necessary or even a requirement of doing right by them. she pushes alistair to take the throne and marry anora to serve her own big-picture goals. he does not have the necessary courage/confidence to stand up for the life he wants, while she fatally simply assumes that he would refuse if it really mattered enough to him (which she literally would have adjusted her plans for with minimal complaining! because she loves him! but because he’s alistair, and also because he loves her, of course he’d never refuse outright what she said was so important. maddening.)

alistair considers loghain to have massacred the only true family he ever had, and minerva not only turns around and spares him but gives him a place in that very family like it’s nothing. alistair abandons minerva at the most public moment, and when she and the world perhaps need him most, in the final battle against the archdemon, he isn’t there. neither of them are really built to be able to overlook what each other did. but the love is still there, as i like to say

post-dao they have a weird painful dynamic in which king alistair continues to give her the cold shoulder while doggedly pursuing the freedom for mages she asked for as her boon from the crown, and minerva, loyal to him to the death, refuses to let slip a scrap of emotion or remorse in his direction because she cannot bear any further damage to her pride. they work together constantly but usually at the distance between denerim and amaranthine rather than seeing each other in person. they’re both very angry, they both miss each other all the time. i like to think that over the years the latter eventually wins out but maybe that’s wishful thinking

because their relationship has the appropriate plot relevance and intensity—friendship always seems too weak a word, and comparisons to siblings useful but not quite right—i do have aus where they are romantic, but i don’t consider those to be “canon”. alistair did flirt once or twice in her playthrough which probably muddies the waters of his feelings a little bit but i don’t think even he took that particularly seriously, he’s just 19-20 and she’s extremely pretty and extremely right there. alistair isn’t really minerva’s type she goes for scoundrels

[mokusilkani]

☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟLuna x Saturn's Moon! Reader☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ

_______________________________________________

☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟCan be viewed as platonic or romantic head cannons ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ

GN! Reader

_______________________________________________

If I must start this off, you and Luna are best buds! You're very close with him(⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

Though your first meeting with him wasn't so great...

As one of Saturn's Moon, he often didn't pay attention to his other moons other than Titan and some others (I think? Or is it just Titan?) I mean he had over 120+ moons! He can't remember them all. Which was perfect for you to sneak away without him noticing and venture on to meet the Rocky planets!

Yes you heard of the Rocky planets from Saturn and it made you yearned to see them. Soon you made it to the asteroid belt, but to your disappointment you couldn't see any planet at all? That's not right... There should be a planet, unless they left their orbit? Let's say you got hyped up for no reason, best option is to head back to Saturn and be absolutely forgotten...

"Hah! I win again! That's another point for me!"

Huh? You thought there was no one but you surely heard a voice. You then found yourself heading closer to the voices and soon enough you found what you always wanted to meet!

The Earth! And Mars, and Venus, and and... Wait is that a moon?

Oh you forgot, apparently only two out of the four rocky planets have moons and Earth is one of them

What was his name again? You honestly don't know but you could just ask?

"Psst, hey!" You tried to get the attention of the moon but failed miserably

That's alright! You can try again! You'll be able to get his attention soon enough!

How many times has it been already...? 19? 20? 21? You weren't counting but this was taking longer than expected...

"No worries... I can try something else, just keep calm and think..." You murmured to yourself, and then you got the perfect idea!

Throw an asteroid towards him!... Wait what...? What are you even thinking!?

Too late... You had grabbed the nearest asteroid next to you and threw it as hard as you could

The moon was minding his own business till he looked behind him to find an asteroid going full speed at him!?

He managed to move quickly out of the way but that asteroid was so close that he would've sustained a bad hit... Not to mention that his life flashed before his very eyes

"Oh heavens! I'm so sorry I didn't mean to throw that asteroid so hard towards you! I'm truly very sorry..."

The moon who was still shocked and processing what just happened look at you for the very first time

"Wha...? Another moon!?"

_______________________________________________

•Tbh you're relationship was kinda rocky at the beginning with the moon but hey it got better!

•You started calling him Luna after his sentence "STOP CALLING ME EARTH'S MOON!"

•A little secret, he loves it when you call him Luna instead of Earth's moon(⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠)

•You two actually got to spend a lot of time together since Saturn doesn't really notice

•If Luna ever has an argument with Earth, you're there to help him and show the right or wrongs

•It makes him feel better that he has someone to talk to

•The way you talk to him? It makes him melt and feel fuzzy every single time

•Honestly he gets sorta tired of you talking about the rocky planets

•Its not rocket science that you like them or anything

•Though he wishes that was him you'd talk about... WHAT WHO SAID THAT WHO SAID THAT!!!

•Yes Luna has been warming up to you lately

•Your friendly and cheerful personality is what makes him so allured to you

•A delightful moon indeed! You were too perfect for this world- *Cough cough(⁠゜⁠o⁠゜⁠; *

•Earth began to realize Luna's sudden disappearances and was pretty displeased about it

•That is until Luna finally reveals you to Earth after you begging him for days non-stop

_______________________________________________

"Really? Awh thank you so much Luna! You know this means the world to me!" You chirped with such excitement and cheerfulness, you could feel the uncontrollable smile appear on your face.

"Yeah, I mean I had to or else you'd keep bothering for decades" Luna said with a pleased smile. He totally didn't do it to see you happy... Hahahaha...(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

You tilted your head(?) at him before getting closer so you could whisper something into his ear(?).

"I'll cherish this forever, I promise..." You spoke with a graceful tone and then left him by himself. The poor moon was left in awe struck by you.

You'd mean everything to him and he'd do anything to make you smile again... Wait why does he feel his face heating up?

_______________________________________________

IM FINALLY FREE!ᕦ⁠[⁠ ⁠◑⁠ ⁠□⁠ ⁠◑⁠ ⁠]⁠ᕤ I'm so sorry that this took a long time to post. School is basically jail for me༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽

I'm also going to say that I've peaked a little bit of my interest in Solarballs again but it probably won't last longÓ⁠╭⁠╮⁠Ò

I hope you can enjoy this while I yippee (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

A/N: The end kinda cheesy tbh(8/9)

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

Yandere Rikkiel X Ex girlfriend stand user reader

Oh God just when I was about to post did I actually see the stand user part!! I'm so sorry, my eyes betray me once more. I've been pondering on the fic for so long but I'm going to post anyways it as I've kinda gone to far to throw it out.

If you still want me to do the stand user concept please send me another ask and I'll fulfill it. Yet again my apologies.

I pondered on this for awhile after finishing as it's my first time writing for Rikkeil and i was a bit nervous due to how little we get of him. Hope I did him justice.

(Yandere Rikkeil x gender neutral ex Reader)

“Rikkeil, I have something to tell you…” you said as you sat with him for lunch. You had to tell him, it was eating you inside to keep hiding it.

“Yes?” He asked. Obviously happy to be with you. You didn't want to hurt him but you had to tell him. You took a deep breath in before finally speaking.

“I got into the University of Michigan,” you told him. Of course he was proud of you. Previously you arranged to go to whatever state you got in together but recently you started to think about your relationship with him. You did care for him, however you realized that your feelings for him were more platonic. He deserves someone who could love him without a doubt.

“There's another thing I have to tell you too” you said. He could tell something was wrong by your somber tone. He reached out to hold your hand but you pulled it back.

“I've been thinking about our relationship, I realize that my feelings for you aren't romantic. It's nothing to do with you I just feel as though I didn't understand what I really felt” you tried to explain. He sunk in his seat, you could tell he was hurt.

“Are you ok Rikkeil?” You asked him.

“I'm fine” he told you with a shaken voice. He was struggling to articulate just how he felt. Ye wanted to cry, to beg, even grab you and ask if this was a horrible joke.

You had been the only person he'd been with, one of the few people who hadn't looked down on him and helped him. Deep down he felt something repulsive writhing inside him, reaching up into his chest and ensnared his lungs.

“We can still be friends, I promise I'll keep in contact if you want” you reassured him, however he couldn't quite take that. He loved you, you were his everything. He couldn't even speak, couldn't bear to be in this situation any longer as he felt himself struggling to breathe.

“I have to go! I forgot something important!” he yelled as he stood up and quickly left. You felt horrible but perhaps it was best just to give him some time.

💔💔💔

He hadn't left his house in days, God he felt horrible. Even worse than usual. All he could think of is just how much he needed you. You'd been together for a few years now and you'd helped him through so much even before he'd had the confidence to ask you out.

He wondered if he did something that made you not like him. Were you telling him that you'd stay friends just to please him. His mind was full of so many horrible thoughts.

Even in his dreams he couldn't escape it. Horrible scenarios of you meeting someone else, getting hurt or even worse.

He was convinced that he had to do something. Had to get you back. He grabbed his tone and texted you as quickly as he could.

‘(Y/n), could we catch up?” He asked and waited for what seemed like forever for a response.

‘I'm sorry, Catching up with family for a couple of days, I'll be back on Thurs’ you replied. It only made him more insecure, what if you were lying? What if it wasn't even you that responded to his texts.

💔💔💔

After a lot of deliberation he finally decided to check your apartment. He needed to know what was going on. At first he thought it would be tough to get in but the moment the owner saw him she offered to unlock it for him assuming he was still the tenant's partner.

He practically scavenged through everything in an attempt to find a reason. He hadn't even realized you'd arrived home early until you'd turned on the lights.

“Rikkel? What are you doing here?” You asked with concern in your voice. His head whipped towards your direction. What was he going to tell you? That he was looking for a reason as to why you dumped him. No he had to make an excuse or else you'd surely get defensive.

“I… I was looking for something, lost something and I last remember having it here” he worked up a measly excuse.

“Ah, I'm not feeling too well but I can try my best to help you find it” you offered.

“Thank you,” he said.

“What was it you lost?” You asked. Again he had to lie, he was raking his brain for another excuse.

“A card,” he replied.

“What was it for and what color?” You asked.

“Red… it was one of those loyalty cards for the mall… need it to get something for my grandma” he lied.

He could see you pondering, did you not believe him?

“I don't remember seeing it around, it must be in-between furniture or something if it is here” you told him.

“You sure it isn't at yours or in your car?” You asked.

“I checked several times,” he explained.

“Ok I'm going to sit down for a bit, could you get me some water and I'll start looking when I feel a little better” you told him as you sat down on the lounge.

“Of course” he responded, heading to the kitchen.

“Oh could you add some ice?” You asked.

“Yes,” he replied.

“So how was seeing your family?” He asked.

“It was alright, had dinner out but I got this pounding headache and couldn't stay any longer” you explained.

“I was supposed to be heading off to an engagement party a couple of hours out tomorrow but I don't know if I'll go if I'm still feeling like this, at least I didn't pay for my own room” you continued.

Meanwhile Rikkeil was getting out the ice cubes and putting them in a glass. His heart was racing from this whole ordeal. He couldn't lie, part of him was pushing for extremes. To lock you up and never let go. He didn't think he could ever do such a thing til now. End up like those sick freaks on TV. Maybe they had gone through the same thing, unable to process not having their one and only and acting out.

He opened up your medication draw. He knew you had some strong sleep medication somewhere. He shuffled the boxes around before he saw the familiar packaging. If he were to slip those in your water he'd have no issue with just picking you up and taking you back to his car.

No, he couldn't just do that?! If he got caught he'd get sent straight to prison. But what if you understood him? You always had. If you could see just how much he needed you you would reconcile. He could really show you that you still loved him.

So he followed through. Taking out the medication and crushing it with the side of a knife.

“You ok?” You asked after hearing a thud.

“Yes I'm fine, just hit my knee” he told you as he put in the crushed up medication into the water and gave it a gentle stir til he couldn't see it.

“Sorry for taking so long” he apologized as he headed towards you with the glass in hand.

“No it's fine” you replied.

He sat next to you and handed you the water.

“Thank you” you told him before taking a sip.

“I was worried when you left the other day,” you confessed.

“Why?” He asked

“It's just… I know it must have hurt to hear me say what I did after all we've been through, I was afraid to lose you. I might not see you romantically but I still really care about you. I didn't want to lead you on… you deserve someone who can love you without a doubt” you explained.

He remained silent, there was no going back now. You were the one he deserved, how could you not see that you two were meant to be. After everything you two had gone through.

[yes0another0outsiders0blog]

Damn, this next alphabet is kicking my ass and then I have so many more to do-- (I'm excited to do them, I love long form headcanons and overthinking things into essays and covering a lot in one post, they just take so long especially when my brain ain't working--)

Anyway, have the rest of my sexuality headcanons!!

The Outsiders Queer Headcanons : (Part 2)

Tim -

gay, 100% into men.

has dated/hooked up with women because he's "supposed to," but they always have to make the first move and he never really enjoys it.

pretty open about it. not really the type to bring it up unprompted, keeps his personal life personal, but if asked he sees no reason to hide it

what's anybody going to do about it, fight him? okay, he'll kick their ass. he ain't scared of what anyone thinks about what he does in his own free time. they're the ones that brought it up, they can mind their damn business.

Curly -

unlabeled, if asked he'd just shrug. he likes guys sometimes, he's pretty sure he's liked a girl or two before.

no thoughts, head empty. he has put zero thoughts into it.

maybe somewhere on the arospec, his romantic interests are really muted

still there, just not strong

for him, a partner is more of a MAJOR best friend that he happens to be physically attracted to as well

"wait, do any of the Shepherds like girls?" you ask

well, I just said that Curly likes girls sometimes... but let me introduce yall to

Angela -

pan and proud as FUCK

and has MASSIVE game, more than her brothers combined

poly as well, loves group dates and having partners that interact with each other especially

gets really into queer spaces/community, will actually seek out lgbt spaces and such

loves going to drag performances, she's loud and social and likes dramatic make up and costuming, she has a natural draw to drag queens.

Sylvia -

bisexual, prefers men, might go her whole life without even thinking of herself as anything but straight outside of modern au

like, in modern day after hearing about different sexualities then she might clock the feeling after realizing that being attracted to women is a thing

but her attraction to women feels different than her attraction to men, so she would probably just think "oh, we're REALLY good friends and I'd totally kiss her if she wanted to, but that's just how girls are right??"

it isn't even preference so much as it's intensity of attraction, has more small crushes on women and few bigger crushes on men

Evie -

aromantic, bisexual and slightly prefers men

not very romantically affectionate (is platonically affectionate), but is okay with having a partner that is. she just won't initiate or crave it, but she doesn't mind it. romance neutral in general.

does want to date still, loves a good qpr, will communicate with her partner about her lack of romantic attraction but doesn't feel the need to be open about it with others. she's in a relationship, it can be read as a romantic relationship, she isn't correcting anyone

Sandy -

straight

homophobic in an ignorant way

"no, I don't have a problem with the gays, I know some gays!!" girl, NO.

won't be intentionally mean, doesn't like when people are blatantly homophobic, but also won't put effort into changing herself and won't call out other's around her. might give an eyeroll and a "stop, be nice!!" at most.

thinks that since it doesn't actively affect her it isn't really her place or business

Cherry -

bicurious, but probably ultimately straight

is such a girls girl, very platonically affectionate, thinks girls are so pretty, so the thought of dating a girl has crossed her mind

also, she has ass taste in men and has definitely said "a woman would NOT treat me like this" but, boo, I have met women that would treat her like that and if she would just date a man that isn't garbage then she'd see that it's her standards that are the real problem

does try dating a few ladies, really isn't feeling it, feels really bad for leading them on and ends up staying longer than she should because she really loves them as friends and doesn't want to lose them

is the super pretty, casually flirty straight girl that 99% of sapphic people have unfortunately fallen hard for.

Marcia -

aromantic and asexual

has fallen into a lot of comphet, has absolutely dated a handful of men because her friends all were in relationship

slightly romance repulsed, thinks it's all just so boring

but is BOMB at coming up with pick-up lines and stuff, is witty as hell and will get flirty sometimes. she just doesn't want anything even slightly serious. it's a mental exercise, some friendly back and forth, nothing more. anything seriously romance-heavy gives her a major ick

sex-neutral, is interested in anatomy and artistic nudity (think figure drawing), she's not squeamish around the idea of sex and isn't even strictly against having it

just very... scientific about it. not very emotional, will work out theories or ideas in practice. likes to see what the human body can do, likes playing with dynamics, sees it all as research

doesn't really like the idea of a long-term relationship, likes her independence too much

[stellarhoxy]

honestly i feel like updating it more, like in other aspects but... motivation..

so coming out post! and this is highly individual, not universal. please do not take this in any shape or form as an aspec advice post or anything.

I'm aspec - aroace. I'm favorable to both romance and sex, but i am not alloromantic by far. microlabels i most identify with is aegosexual + cupioromantic.

I desire a romantic relationship, but I do not experience romantic attraction. I do know i experience strong platonic attraction / affection to people. It is possible some romantic aspects are involved but they are either weak or temporary, and I am unable to differentiate / distinguish them. I fail to understand what romantic attraction is in me, even after countless explanations I fail to identify it. it is possible i feel weak romantic attraction at the beginning, but this fades over time (may vary, but this is another aromantic sublabel so yh). I'm very loyal and stick in those relationships, but when my partner expects me to be romantic and I just feel like an impostor, and an alloromantic partner can absolutely sense it. I notice myself feeling increasingly miserable and tense because I want to make my partner happy but they won't be satisfied. I noticed it makes sense because I really loved the idea of love since I was a little kid, I want to marry, have a family, all that shebang. I got into a lot of online relationships which floated me in the idea of romance, but once they got real it just didn't feel as right anymore. Usually the end was marked by a fallout, or learning my partner was problematic and I was no longer comfortable. This is why if I ever do a relationship again, I want to start real, be clear i'm arospec, that I love differently than an allo and will almost certainly never love as an allo would, and that for many allos it's just never gonna be enough and might not be for them. I'd prefer relationships - or QPRs, as i actually see no difference for me so long they are dedicated - with other romance-favorable aspec people.

With sex it's different. It's kinda tricky. Most close is aegosexual or demisexual i guess we're stacking again. I do rarely experience sexual attraction but never wish to act on it to strangers, do not enjoy hookups, but when a close bond is formed, i would be willing to have sex with someone "to make them happy". But I do not experience pleasure from this, just joy, content. There are however many acts in sex that feel appealing, some are just physical stimuli but others are aspects i like, but i often experience a disconnection between the subject and pleasure - which is an aego thing. I identified as bi because of the sexual attraction thing but something always felt off about that label bc of how rare i felt everything and the desire to have an exclusive romantic relationship, without fully understanding its meaning. I crushed on "my favorite people" at a moment a lot. but when i realised i felt similar feelings to my close friends than "romantic" interests i was like "yeah hold on wait a minute something ain't right" What i genuinely just want is the dedication aspect, a companion, someone to share a household, a family with, like an extended friendship. We don't need to do... whatever romance's supposed to entail, i like to go to fun places like amusement parks or cat cafes, do lots of fun things friends would do, but while i do like a soft peck or a cuddle, maybe a happy fuck, cooking for someone dear and taking care of them, many happy memories together.

Allos need more than that, learned this the hard way. It's possible that if I knew and they knew it'd be different, maybe... People are different, that one experience isn't universal. And it's all about consent.

and I know there are people out there who think lack of attraction to people means lack of desire for unions but not always the case. yes many times goes hand in hand. maybe i'm being a little delusional or who knows what'll happen in the future. shall see.

anyway yap over have a good day

[that-wildwolf]

Get to know your fanfic writer!

Thank you @callista-curations for tagging me!

When did you post your first ever fanfic?

Circa 2008 I think. Let me tell you those were the wild days. FF.n wasn't really that popular and AO3 straight up didn't exist yet. You would make a whole ass entire blog. And you would post your fic on that blog. And people actually found that shit???? Wouldn't work now.

First Character(s) you wrote?

OCs actually, in the PJO fandom. I don't really enjoy writing OCs now but that's what was cool back then 😅 The first canon characters I wrote were Sarah Jane and the Doctor from Doctor Who.

Main Character(s) you're currently writing?

Well I've always got that Shakarian brainrot, don't I? Also like. Saren and Nihlus I guess.

Character(s) you haven't written about before but plan to soon?

Jolyne and Jotaro Kujo! I've still lowkey got that Eyes of Heaven brainrot, and isn't it cool to write characters that are biologically parent and child as having a sibling relationship, but I'm aware that the target audience of that fic would be uh. me. so I'm not in a rush.

Fandom(s) you're currently writing?

It's mostly mass effect. Even the WIPs I have of other fandoms are scarce among my mass effectses.

Platonic Pairing(s) you're currently writing?

Jotaro and Jolyne, definitely. Shepard and Saren is always a lot of fun to write, though my Kryterius fic mostly focuses on Shepard and Nihlus. Also fun, but not as much.

Romantic Pairing(s) you're currently writing?

Shakarian and Kryterius. I mean what did you expect? a magic trick?

Your top AO3 tags?

Interspecies Relationship(s) absolutely sweeping at 32 fics. Followed by Fluff (19 fics) and Post-Canon (18 fics). Like I said I have no idea where this idea that I'm an angst writer came from, I'm all about the fluff--

Current platform you use for posting?

I guess I might as well officially say that since finishing up my first contact Shakarian AU two years ago, I am no longer posting my fics on FF.n anymore. It's all AO3 now.

Snippet of the WIP you are currently working on?

"Saren." Nihlus is immediately at his side, one hand on his cowl and another grabbing his good arm. "Saren, you're not going to die. I'm getting you out of here. I swear."

"Shepard will never allow that."

"She doesn't have a say in this. You're my responsibility." Nihlus nearly growls at the thought of anyone getting in the middle of that. After everything he's done, the Council will have to agree if he asks. Damn what Shepard thinks. "She doesn't have the authority."

"Nihlus..." Saren shakes his head at him. His subvocals, as always, remain infuriatingly silent, but Nihlus has learned to read his body language to make up for that. He doesn't like what he's seeing: Saren's eyes are completely vacant of any emotion and his shoulders drooped. There's nothing left in him, no fight, no hope. He's given up already.

And that's something Nihlus can't accept.

“I’m getting you out of here,” he promises again. This time, he receives absolutely no reaction.

It nearly breaks his heart to leave now, but he has to. He has to get Saren out of this as quickly as possible, he can’t allow this to go on. So he quietly slips out, silently hoping that Saren isn’t looking. He wouldn’t bear to have that hopeless gaze on himself right now.

Shepard is waiting for him just outside the holding cells. Of course she is. Nihlus doubts she would ever allow anyone to make a decision about Saren that she didn't approve, or at least know, of.

Which is probably going to make things very difficult for him from now on.

"You can release him," he says simply.

Shepard, to her credit, doesn’t say a word. She just looks at him like he's just done the worst thing she could imagine. In all honesty, the flicker of rage, disappointment, and disapproval that lit up her eyes almost made him pause.

She slowly shakes her head and walks away without as much as a single look back. Nihlus isn’t sure how he feels about that.

He just hopes he hasn't just made an enemy he won’t be able to deal with later on.

Tagging (but you guys know my tags are no pressure. I won't be upset if you don't do it.) @whiskynorocks @milkywayes and @nicolasadrabbles

[noisytenant]

rambling personal/introspection i guess, positive-ish

while im not doing "well" in general ive been starting to feel a sense of peace and unburdening with some things.

i think that given the pain of living in certain conditions, it can feel unbearable to imagine going another day with things as they are. i spent so much of my life "waiting it out" that i felt like it would be a crime against myself to not respect my feelings and emotional needs as they came.

but when you set yourself on addressing these things, sometimes you get buried in a cacophony of calls to action, an endless stream of internal requests that often contradict each other. i thought that perhaps i could chart an efficient course to meeting the most needs with the least actions, but strategizing takes time away from action too.

so i'm trying to loosen up and not set a strict dogma for how and when things happen, so long as they comply with external needs (eg there is a ticking clock on how long i can go without income before major and bad life changes activate; i need to eat and sleep a certain amount every day). i'm trying not to be too hard on myself for not living up to expectations and to accept certain patterns of behavior, to be more curious and to not immediately problematize them.

for example i'm watching wordgirl a lot and it's somewhat avoidant, but it's also something that lubricates the meeting of other needs and makes me happy, so it's not a "bad" or even fully "maladaptive" strategy. just a complicated one.

in the time shortly before my breakup, something i feel like i have still only fractionally processed (and that's okay according to my hip new state of mind), i felt like there would be disastrous consequences for less-than-ideal behavior. knowing the relationship and my mental health were both on the ropes, i wanted really badly to do things the best way i knew how. but i think it kind of would have been okay if i did it any other way too. it would have sucked but been fine if we screamed at each other, it would have sucked but been fine if we stayed together, i think anything would have been okay because you have no choice but to live with your actions and keep acting forever

something i struggle a lot with is in committing to decisions vs. being flexible. big questions in the fight for agency. i can't prescribe a heuristic for deciding whether you stick to a principle or change your mind, but in the moment i'm basically going back to the strategy of, "i'm going to do things however i'm doing them until something gives way and makes me need to change paths". and i think that's a freeing sentiment, one i'm able to access because i'm no longer in a relationship--i don't need to worry for two. i hope in my future relationships, platonic and romantic, i can maintain a greater sense of security that is resilient to these shifting tides.

a big thing also is that i'm temporarily electing not to dig into introspection, something i've seen suggested but hadn't really understood and kind of resented. in practice i'm using it to mean, "the most dire parts of my inner world will communicate with me if they are relevant. given my immediate needs, it might be better to wait until i have more breathing room before consciously exploring things." so i'm trying not to worry about, for example, being a person who forgets parts of its own life and experience because those parts will come back to me in due time.

ultimately i'm trying to give in to spontaneity. a feeling is only intolerable if i cannot tolerate it; if i'm finding that i'm avoiding or dreading something, it might really be intolerable, but i am constantly reminded how easy it is to actually survive and persist throughout the pain (this is only my personal experience)

it's hard and hurts to know you're carrying these burdens that ache for release and you're unable to address them completely. i hope to be able to give myself the care i deserve sooner rather than later. but maintaining stability and progress is a kind of care too!

and that's the nature of living, isn't it? ultimately, i want to be honest with myself and others. it's evidently the case that i can't solve every problem of mine overnight just because it would be nice if i could. i think all of me (or most of me, let me not speak for everyone) can appreciate an honest "no i can't solve your ass indefinitely" over "sure honey just a minute [doesn't do anything]". so for the moment i'm happy to be here and hoping i will be in better circumstances soon.

[icarianiscariot]

you blog a lot about romance for a self-professed aromantic

yes well my particular brand of aromantic is "has fallen in love twice, ever, where that feeling was reciprocated, and both times it crashed and burned within 6-8 months"

my particular brand of aromantic is "it takes several years to find the capacity to even entertain the idea of a crush. except i don't get crushes, i fall head over heels and then self-sabotage because i get nervous and insecure and scared of how big my feelings are!"

my particular brand of aromantic is "i need someone to give me affection and attention consistently, regularly, for 6-8 months, without getting bored or tired and giving up on the idea that i could allow myself to establish a relationship" which is frankly cruel and unrealistic and nothing i would ever actually want to impose on anyone. no one should devote themself to me like that on the risk that i might be able to one day give them a label - how could i ever ask that of anyone?

my particular brand of aromantic is "they made one (1) passing comment that i took as an indicator that they would never actually date me, so i've lost any drive to attempt to pursue them"

i call myself aromantic because my romantic attractions are few and far between. i cherish them when they happen, though, and mourn them when they leave. i call myself aromantic because it takes very little for me to swat away romantic feelings, especially when lack of reciprocation is established or something else along those lines. i call myself aromantic because i don't think that anyone will ever actually wait for me, and i don't think that any entanglement i find myself in will last longer than half a year (i've yet to find anyone who stands this test of time), and i've contented myself with that.

but god, anon. don't we all crave being known? platonic or romantic?

i love being in love, when it's good. but all it has ever done is hurt me, in the end. still, i'm a hopeless romantic. maybe some day someone will have the patience and gentleness for me. maybe some day there will be someone i write poems for who stays.

doesn't stop the yearning posting, though. sorry. i'm a poet. it's what i do.

[xxjazzxx]

Okie here we go:

I'll start with Mhin. Looking at their eyes alone, nothing else about their face always makes me feel like there's a clear boundary and/or brick wall that's unspoken. Surely, they haven't even said anything to you yet, but it's still evident. At the same time, there's an eerie sense of calm before the storm. Recommended to not piss them off at any point. If you've established a relationship with them platonic or otherwise, you'll gradually see a shift in how their gaze resonates with you (for the better ofcourse).

Vere is next! Fiery, flirty, sharp and intelligent. There's no pulling the wool over this fox's eyes at all. He's already done that the minute he locked eyes with you. There's also something there that gives one a sense of "I don't bite I swear" in terms of trust but that's to distract you from that smile and his "crossed-fingers" that could be behind his back. If his eyes weren't so busy tempting you, his body language could be read or how his tail swishes or if it's fluffed out, pointed a certain way or how his ears are placed or positioned.

Hmmm for Elyon, it's tricky because I only know a small tidbit. But right off the bat, his eyes tell me depending on how his mood is and how useful I am to him will determine whether or not I'm safe around him. Not that he's dangerous, but as any business owner...I can assume that he's not to played around with unless you like suffering the consequences of your actions.

(i'm only skipping Kuras for now because his is long)

Ais, oh boy. Am I annoying him? Is he watching me? Is he watching something behind me? Those bright red peepers are alarming and enticing, unreadable as far as what he thinks about you. Even worse when he speaks to you with very little emotion showing. It's almost as if he's trying to warn you about something, or pull you in without trying. Either way, you're stuck in his gaze and he's waiting to see what you're going to do about it.

Sen, lovely, beautiful, breath-taking. Independent, searching, and somewhat longing. All of these I can feel when I stare at her eyes, trying to see if I can figure out more about her without saying much. In fact, I could probably get lost in them but then trip over myself when she finally meets my gaze. I wish I could ease whatever uncomfortable emotions she seems to try and hide.

Oh Leander...sweet or sour man that you are. Immediately his eyes are inviting, playful, cool, romantic, and full of whimsy. Just as charming as any other feature on that face. But the longer you stare, the more ominous he seems. What's up with this charismatic attitude that seems to just be so natural and on queue? What do you want from me sir?

Finally, Kuras. The reason his would be particuarly long in detail is mostly of bias because he's the fave. But other than that I'm sure you all see how magnificently gorgeous those eyes are. An intense heat of warmth, as if you're being hugged by his wings that aren't there. Frozen in your steps, thinking back to when you first noticed him from afar, or even further when you took your first breath. Crazy, how just a simple gaze makes you feel this way. But what his eyes say mostly about him, is how unapologetically kind and gentle he is. Humanity has been around a short time compared to his lifespan, and he just can't help but extend a hand out. A protector, a lover whether it's platonic or romantic. Honest, trustworthy. Of course an angel displays this, but at the same time...he's a challenge. Do you want to know more about him? Tap into his true nature and true feelings without prying too hard that requires him to shut down? Patience. He teaches you that, he is patience in fact. He waited so long to meet someone to cross his path that's like you...millions of faces and yet it's you that catches his interest. All of this in just one look at his eyes? Foreal? Well...yes honestly. Very much a big fucking yes.

@harmlessghosty i promised you a tag, bestie

What do you think each character’s eye design says about them? 👁️

[writing-ca-ira]

GUSTED

Dick Grayson x Reader

My favorite version of Robin Dick Grayson will always be the one in the Young Justice cartoon for a multitude of reasons, one of which includes his abuse of English prefixes.

Reader is gender neutral.

Contains: team-member reader, platonic relationship, could be translated as romantic pining if you squint, nothing but banter.

“Did you know that Happy Meals now come with JL toys?

You looked away from Connor and Wally’s sparring match to see Robin leaning against the wall next to you. “Huh?”

“McDonald’s,” he clarified, gloved hands casually crossed against his chest. “If you buy a Happy Meal, you get a Justice League toy with it.”

It was kind of a random thing to bring up, but you were curious (besides, this was way more interesting than watching Wally lose to Conner for the 8th time). “Seriously? How’d you find that out?”

“There was an ad about it,” he answered while bringing up his glove’s computer. You watched as he tapped a few buttons, a hologram popping up a couple seconds later. “This one.”

Sure enough, the hologram displayed a McDonald’s ad with the words, “collect them all” at the top. Below were the likeness of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, Aquaman, and Martian Manhunter. Your eyes scanned over each of the vaguely familiar, poorly manufactured plastic figures, noting how the paint job on each of their faces were slightly off-centered. An amused smile threatening to break out on your face (especially when you saw Aquaman’s awkwardly spaced eyes. Could this count as defamation?).

“Dude,” was all you could say. Robin snorted next to you, zooming the hologram in so you could get a better look at each figure individually. That’s when you got a good look at Superman’s face, and it amazed you that someone could make something look so psychotic and constipated at the same time. You glanced at Robin with a quirked brow. “Do you think Batman would let us make a quick stop at the nearest McDonald’s next mission?”

“Not a chance. He’d probably say,” he cleared his throat, dawning his best Batman impression, “your role as a covert team means completing the mission without any distractions. If this is a joke, I don’t find it funny.” You could see the edges of his domino mask crinkle as a huge grin broke out on his face. “But since when has a Batman speech stopped us from doing anything?”

“We could totally do it after a mission,” you proposed with a similar grin, playfully nudging his shoulder. “As a little team celebration thing, y’know? Totally gusted by the idea. I think it would be a lot of fun!”

Robin’s smile immediately dropped. Though you couldn’t see his full face under the mask, you could tell he was furrowing your brows at you as he made the hologram disappear. “What?”

Confused, you blinked at his sudden change in demeanor. All you could do was blankly stare back at him and echo back, “what?”

He continued to look at you skeptically. “What did you say?”

“… I think it would be a lot of—?”

“No, no, before that.”

You cocked your head to the side in confusion, but quickly realized what he was referring to. “Oh, gusted? It’s like aster and traught. Y’know, those little wordplay things you like to do?”

“What does that even…” he trailed off, and you could tell he had a brow quirked at you. “Wait, disgusted??”

“Yeah,” you confirmed with a smile, “but it’s like the opposite of disgusted. I took the dis part off.”

The longer he stayed silent, the more nervous you got. The only noise that filled your ears was the sound of Wally being flipped over Conner’s shoulder and smacking against the sparring floor (followed by a pained, “aw, man…”). You could feel the smile slowly dying from your face, and you were worried you somehow offended the sidekick. Perhaps it was an unspoken rule that only he could completely abuse the laws of English prefixes?

Then, after what felt like forever, he finally told you point blank, “that doesn’t make any sense.”

You were taken aback by his words. How did it not make sense? Wasn’t it the exact same thing he was doing; taking the negative prefix off of a word to make it into a good thing? You furrowed your brows at him, trying to follow his logic. “How come?”

“Gusted can’t be the opposite of disgusted,” he explained. “The word itself sounds disgusting. It can’t be the opposite of something when it sounds like that something!”

You found yourself blinking at him once more. Admittedly, he lost you a bit in the explanation, but you tried your best to reason with him. “But… it follows the rules,” you said. “Without the dis, it means something positive. Like I said, aster and traught.”

“You can’t do it with just any word, (Y/N),” he insisted in a flat tone. “It has to sound right, and there needs to be an actual need for the word.”

“… An actual need for the word?”

“Yeah,” he replied. “You don’t need the opposite of disgusted. You could just say pleased or delighted.”

His logic made your mind run in circles. You could feel an incredulous look growing on your features as your arms crossed. “Can’t you say the same thing for your other made up words?”

“There’s no clear opposite of disaster,” Robin retorted.

“You could say something like success or fortune,” you retorted back.

“Aster is more general,” he informed you with a matter-of-fact tone. “Instead of everything going wrong, it’s everything going right.”

“But doesn’t aster already mean something?” You scratched the back of your head. “I could’ve sworn it was the name of a flower or something.”

“Words can have double meanings,” said Robin. “Besides, if we went with that logic, gusted already means something.”

“Yeah, but that’s as a verb. I’m using it as an adjective.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Why??”

“Because gusted sounds dis-gust-ing.”

“And traught doesn’t?”

“Now why are you coming after traught?”

“Because—”

Wally’s voice interrupted your sentence. “Are you two done yet?!”

Both you and Robin looked over to see Wally (who was rubbing his shoulder) and Conner staring with questioning looks. They seemed to be done with sparring — which meant Wally finally gave up — as the floor was no longer lit up and the computer was off. You couldn’t tell how long they’d been done for, but it must’ve been a while. How long were you and Robin going back and forth about made up words for?

When neither of you answered him — only offering dumb stares — Wally gave an exasperated sigh. “You’re the only two people I know who could get into the argument about bogus words,” he said as he walked off the sparring floor, Connor not far behind.

“Sparring floor’s free,” Connor told you, and you finally remembered what you were there for in the first place.

“Oh, yeah. Thanks,” you voiced. When you caught Robin’s question look, you said, “I was waiting for them to finish so I could catch up on some training.”

Robin seemed to give a nod in understand, but then a wicked grin grew on his face. “Sparring without a sparring partner?”

“Well, I wasn’t planning on sparring,” you wistfully began walking onto the floor to turn on the computer, “just using the computer to assess my performance.” A crooked smile tugged at the corner of your lips. “Buuuuut, if you’re offering…”

Robin was already two steps ahead of you, flipping onto the sparring floor and prompting it to light up once more. “Loser pays for the McDonald’s trip?”

You cracked your knuckles.

“You’re on, Boy Wonder.”

[meeko-mar]

The more I think about it, the more I might be signing on to the theory that Izuku KNOWS his trigger is Kacchan, and he just hasn't admitted/confronted it yet...At least, that we have yet seen.

Hold my non-alcoholic beverage.

Once again, let's preface with the fact that we have SEEN with our own eyes, that Kacchan has been the trigger of two specific incidents, being Monoma insulting Kacchan and Izuku becoming angry enough to manifest Black Whip.

And second, Kacchan following him into danger, and then getting impaled and nearly dying to protect him, which then triggered possibly the most RAGE we have ever seen Izuku possess, AND the manifestation of Danger Sense, AND caused him to literally throw himself at AFO/Shigaraki which put him immediately under threat of having OFA stolen. Obviously, the vestiges protected the Quirk, but the fact still stands that the rage the a Izuku felt was enough to drive him LITERALLY into Shigaraki's hands, despite how very very dangerous that was. Izuku LOST HIMSELF so badly that he could have lost the entire war right there, if The Vestiges hadn't protected him and the Quirk.

The moment when All Might and Kacchan are trying to coach him and find the connection that brought about Black Whip. The mention of an external factor, and Izuku's avoidance of saying what that factor was(Kacchan being insulted, as we ALL know and explicitly saw), and arguably his words of "It's not something I can handle right now" seem a bit suspicious.

(NOTE: I've said before, that I had slight skepticism that this line about not being able to handle it and putting a lock on something, was meant to refer to the power he unlocked, however, watching season 5 has made me remember that, after the chaotic manifestation, and talking to Lariat, and realizing that Black Whip was part of his Quirk and therefore there to HELP him, and he had successfully used it without losing control because he ACCEPTED that it was a power that was there to help, not hurt him. I am not so sure that Izuku's "lock" is referring to the power anymore, but rather, his feelings for Kacchan.

But, I have new perspective that maybe, like others were pointing out, maybe it IS referring to the actual TRIGGER. IE, his feelings for Kacchan/his anger on his behalf.

I could be wrong, of course? But stay with me because this is a part of a larger context)

So, after the War arc, after Kacchan got gravely injured on his behalf, after hospitalization, we are given one thing before Izuku suddenly leaves. But it was KACCHAN's perspective, Kacchan waking up and being desperate to get to Izuku, and getting DENIED at the door. We are shown Kacchan's desperation to make sure Izuku's ok, but so far, even well after waking up, we are NOT SHOWN Izuku's worry over Kacchan's condition. We are suddenly FLUNG into a brand new world where Izuku is a drop-out "vigilante" working on the villain activity outside of school, cleaning up villains and questing to find out how villains come to be in their own minds.

We've seen him talk to his mom before he leaves. We've seen him talk to Gran Torino.

But we haven't seen him talk to ANY of his friends yet, ESPECIALLY KACCHAN. When there has been such a fantastic amount of tension placed on that particular relationship, after not only the sacrifice Kacchan made, but also, and particularly, the FOCUS that was placed on Kacchan trying to REACH HIM and FAILING.

We've all been forced to inhale a deep breath as Kacchan charged down that hallway yelling for Deku, and we are STILL HOLDING THAT BREATH. There is a huge, poignant LOOSE END there that is hanging over our head. We are still waiting for the payoff.

So like that scene, in theory, Izuku is still avoiding how he feels so strongly about Kacchan that he can be triggered into rage over him being hurt?

Actually, no, I think this sudden change to Izuku is very much him finally acknowledging it and acting on it.

The reason we have so much unresolved tension still hanging over Kacchan and Izuku's non-reunion, the reason Hori set up this big conflict that hasn't been resolved yet, why he showed us Kacchan trying to see Deku and not an ounce of Izuku wanting to see Kacchan before he leaves,

is that Izuku is actively trying to distance himself from Kacchan.

He did say that the reason he won't be returning to UA is of course because AFO could find him at any time and he would place everyone around him in danger.

But Kacchan? I think Izuku is still very much traumatized by the fact that he witnessed Kacchan taking a would-be fatal blow for him and falling out of the sky, drenched in blood.

I think he probably realizes that if Kacchan follows him into battle again, there's a real chance it could happen again... Or worse, AFO/Shigaraki, now knowing what a touchy button that is for Izuku, could actively target Kacchan on the battlefield, kill him, and/or use him against Izuku.

And Izuku is in the literary stage where the protagonist thinks that the love they have for someone else is a weak point and a danger/liability to those he loves, and so tries to shoulder all the burden themselves an shut the other out. He doesn't want his friends involved, he doesn't want Kacchan involved.

Because he knows that his love for Kacchan is his weakness. He's finally acknowledging that when Kacchan is hurt or slighted, he tends to lose himself. He loses control of his heart, and this is not something they can afford at this point in the game. Defeating AFO is now or never. (and he just desperately doesn't want Kacchan to be hurt for him anymore.)

He is going to have to learn, however, that, like Kacchan says to him, he can't keep playing the Hero on his own. And that their love can be their greatest strength, instead of a weakness.

So he's left, probably without a conversation with Kacchan. Hori is holding out on showing us this, building onto that tension, and I feel like he has some very significant pay off coming up. We haven't been shown any such conversation because he wants us to keep holding that breath for a little longer.

And if I'm right, it's gonna be dramatic when Izuku breaks down about this to Kacchan, finally. There was also some theories that Kacchan v. Deku 3 is going to follow the progression of their relationship and have this one center around Izuku's feelings being laid bare and Kacchan "accepting his feelings" as Izuku had done for him in KvD2, I think I'm a fan of this theory.

So yeah, Izuku knows that Kacchan is his trigger and purposely left without him for that reason.

That's basically my theory. Probably not the first one to think this, but I thought I'd write about it anyway. to get it outta my head, lmao.

Alsooo, yeah this is tagged for my Bakudeku peeps, and I use the word "love" in this, but you can read that as you will, either platonic or possibly romantic, not here to say this theory calls for canon romantic feelings between BKDK because that's not really my point, but at this point denying that they love each other in SOME capacity is being blind.

Ship or don't ship, but I legitimately think this is the psychology of Izuku's decision right now.