#and i think the only ones who know where he lives are foolish and dapper

[lionheartedmusings]

i've seen a lot of people talk about pomme being mischaracterised by the fandom, especially when it comes to her design (this one particularly was on the subreddit) and how she's usually depicted as this sweet little girl, which doesn't match up with her warrior side.

i actually… hate this take? now, i totally get that pomme does get mischaracterised by people who aren't usually privy to her for long periods of time, but why is her femininity out of character? how is portraying her as girly and sweet and kind somehow in detriment of her personality in any way?

pomme is kind. she's kind to an extreme, she's communicative and loving, and deeply emotionally intelligent. she's by far one of the genuinely kindest eggs, and deeply understanding of other people and their actions. she's sweet, and caring, and careful of the people around her — she feels horrible about killing foolish, and dislikes being teased about it because it was an accident and she didn't mean it. she'll take other people into account every time, and try her best to have healthy communication at every turn (i.e. her letter to tallulah yesterday).

she's also a warrior, one with the best pvp and pve skills of the eggs, well trained and deadly if need be. i don't think i've ever seen her be downed under any circumstance other than the code, and let me tell you girlie's been in some tough positions where being downed would've been normal. she's loving, but she's not an idiot and she's certainly going to kill instead of being killed.

she's also deeply wounded and paranoid, with her potions and quick switch armor, and reflexes that are frankly only rivalled by bad's. when richas went down, it took bad around 20 seconds to get to him (yes, felps was there but bad didn't know and better safe than sorry) but it wasn't bad who got him up — when pomme realised what was happening, she instantly went to his room. by the time bad arrived, richas was one second from being up. when she needs to tp the eggs, pomme is almost always faster than the parents, because she knows being fast is the difference between a scare and a dead sibling.

she wants elquackity dead. she named her scythe "revenge" because she wants him to pay for what he did to dapper. she's not scared of elquackity for herself, she's pissed the fuck off because no one touches her brother and lives. and this isn't bad's influence on her, mind you, this is pomme being pomme. the only thing that's more important than kindness and survivability is revenge when people harm those she loves — richas canonically had to hold her down in ninho the day dapper was kidnapped, because she wanted to go help the adults.

yes, pomme's the baby, but she's by far one of the most capable eggs in just about any regard. she's traumatised and wounded, but she knows when to put her own emotions aside and focus on the task at hand. she'll dig holes to whine about being called the french assassin, but she wants elquackity's head on a spike. she's gentle and caring and not afraid to talk about her emotions, but she's also cold as ice when need be.

my point being, pomme is a well developed character with a lot of nuance but that doesn't mean portraying her as a sweet little girl is wrong — that's still who she is. there's just layers to her, and i kind of feel iffy on the idea that portraying her in a very feminine way is somehow wrong or betraying who she is. she's the epitome of "don't mistake my kindness for weakness", all in a cute beret and pigtails.

[sagesparrow394]

I have too many aus already but my brain’s thinking

AU where Quesadilla Island is instead a small town that’s known for being a hub for the supernatural

The Federation is a group brought into the town that is made up of, essentially, monster hunters who aim to ‘protect’ the regular human townsfolk. Feelings among the townsfolk about the Federation are mixed. Some support their mission, others are more dubious but still kind to the Federation workers, and others believe they’re making the town more unsafe

Unknown to the Federation, there are a few supernatural beings living right under their noses, pretending to be ordinary people

Charlie Slimecicle is a werewolf

He refers to his wolf form as Slarf. Slarf is a black wolf, with piercing red eyes

He works out and eats a ridiculous amount of protein partially so he can brush off his supernatural strength as a product of his routine

No one knows he’s a werewolf, not even his partner Mariana or best friend and roommate Baghera, and he desperately wants to keep it that way

At some point, he out of nowhere ‘adopts’ a daughter called JuanaFlippa. She’s actually a young orphaned werewolf who got very attached Slarf on a full moon night and now refuses to leave Charlie’s side

Cellbit is a vampire

Not born one, but bitten. He has a sister who is human

His son Richarlyson and his boyfriend Roier are the only ones who know what he is

He gets a job at the Federation to gain information, and with the hopes it’ll reduce any suspicion placed on him - but it potentially does the opposite, now regularly having their eyes on him

When he needs to feed, he tends to target Federation workers to kill two birds with one stone

BadBoyHalo and Tina are demons

They are on earth for different reasons, and they both know about each other

Bad is there to mentor a young demon, Dapper, and teach him about humans

Tina is far more secretive about why she’s living on earth. She’s close friends with Mouse, the only person aside from Bad who knows what she is

Both are close friends (or frenemies in Bad’s case) with Foolish - which becomes potentially dangerous when he gets hired to work for the Federation

Speaking of Foolish, he’s actually merfolk

A shark merman to be specific. He’s also King of the Merfolk, aka KOM. His status grants him immortality and the ability to change his form to have legs. With his long lifespan, the decades he spends in the town are just like a brief vacation to him

Already knows Bad isn’t human - he remembers seeing Bad hanging around on earth a few times over the past hundreds of years. He doesn’t know about Tina

He has a child, his little princess Leo, who likes to hang out with him on land. His husband, Vegetta, tends to spend a lot of time busy in their underwater kingdom

His human roommate, Jaiden, knows about him - they tell each other everything

Joined the Federation both for fun, and like Cellbit to get info and get suspicion off of himself

Philza is an angel

Angel of Death specifically

Feels rather safe despite being a supernatural being due to not being as ‘dangerous’ as others, meaning he likely isn’t a number one target of the Federation. He’s not demonic, legend doesn’t say he lures people to drown in oceans, he doesn’t lose control and attack people, he doesn’t need to go on killing sprees to survive

Not to mention his connection to gods and deities gives him safety and places of refuge

The biggest issue he has is hiding his wings. Aside from that, he’s pretty comfortable living with his human partner and children

Absolutely knows Something Is Up with the other five but doesn’t know for sure what. He’s not a narc, so he doesn’t ask

[livmightlive]

Okay so vampire AU!

The world had a war that resulted in vampires being subjected to a lot of shitty stuff. They have the basic negative stereotypes and the one place that vampires actually rule is a lawless wasteland where all humans die. Most places kill or do not allow vampires to reside there, but Quesadilla Island does, albeit for shady reasons. 

Vampires are allowed to live in Quesadilla Island relatively peacefully, however they must stay at one of three group homes. I imagine BBH, Philza, and Foolish each running one. BBH runs one in the far north where it’s cold and rainy most the year, Foolish in the south of the archipelago where it’s warm and daywalking is more common, and Philza somewhere in the middle, maybe he’s the only one who owns a group home in the city. 

Foolish, BBH, and Philza are all 2nd generation vampires which means they were sired by the “original vampires”. No original vampire still survives which makes the few remaining 2nd generation ones the strongest around making them ideal to run group homes. BBH, Foolish, and Philza are all reasonable and kindhearted in their own ways, which make them ideal to run group homes. Their power also makes them ideal to have under control. 

I haven’t quite divided up who would live under which group home but I think vaguely it would follow purgatory grouping, though I imagine tina with foolish and bagi with bbh so maybe not. Tubbo is a human who got forced to live at BBH’s home for reasons I haven’t fully fleshed out. Bad and the vampires are surprised. Tubbo is scared at first but they all adapt.

That’s basically the bones of my AU. It’s so far completely been in my head so the details are jumbled.

Some plot lines I’ve had are that BBH and Foolish were sired by the same vampire so they were both under his control at the same time. This led to them somewhat trauma bonding. Philza is somewhat of a mentor to bbh and foolish being older than them by a few hundred years. BBh is older than foolish by about 50 and holds it over his head all the time. 

BBH takes in a lot of children who got turned and abandoned, Dapper being one of them. Cellbit was sired by BBH and went on to later sire his husband Roier himself. They both used to stay in Philza’s coven but were forcibly removed and sent to bbh and foolish separately after an incident. They’re both depressed. 

Tina and Bagi are also separated, but they didn’t do anything so there’s conspiracy that the federation wont tolerate vampire couples or something. 

Pac is a newly turned vampire. He lives in a anti vampire city with Mike who is his sole source of food. Pac begins to hunt after Mike gets more and more anemic. Fit is a handsome vampire hunter that visits the 24/7 diner that pac works the night shift at. Fit was in an awful accident where he and his family ended up in the vampire lands. Fit was the sole survivor and really buys into anti vampire propaganda. One night he gets a call reporting a vampire and finds the cute waiter that’s been working the night shift at his favorite diner. He freezes and lets Pac escape. This leads to him questioning all of his beliefs and when he finds Ramon, a child vampire a week later that he can’t kill, he knows there’s only one person he can turn to for help.

[imagines-babes]

cardigan (c!wilbur)

Hello thank you for over 50 followers. This week story is about qsmp and about the egg. This is a long story so just a heads up. There not a lot to say before i just tell you how it goes. But one thing I would say is, The moon is beautiful isn’t it, means I love you. Today song is, cardigan by Taylor Swift. I hope you enjoy and maybe next week story will be about pirate Karl.

Wilbur list Masterlist

*********

Arriving at the island. Leaving them all behind starting a new live. Forgetting all the rules of my parents. Forgetting what happened that was before here. This is a vacation. Seeing everyone at the station I smiled. That failed till I saw him. My lover. I gave a smile. No more lies No more hiding. No more of any of that. Wanting to walk up to him. He never saw me there. Till his eye meet mine I gave a smile. He hugged me as kiss my lips with a smile.

But that 27 days ago. I haven't seen him in 27 days. I never heard from him or even found where he lives. I thought we were lovers before we came here to Quesadilla. But after the first night here he disappeared. Never to be heard from again. But that's beside the point I have forgotten about him. I think I have. But a lot has happened. Everyone was sent to a pairs and gotten a child(egg). They pair up people with someone who's first language was Spanish or if you spoke Spanish they got paired with someone first language is English. Somewhere in the system there was mix up. I was not picked to have an egg. So the single parents were bad and quackity. I told them both  before everyone went off to show their child around. If they ever needed help to me know or just to message .Looking at all the eggs either parents made me smile. Everyone left the adoption center while I stayed looking around for a egg of my own. But nothing came so i left going to my house and stare at the night sky.

Along this 27 days 3 eggs have died and new homes were build. With the exploring, bad getting on foolish nerves with now Dapper, Slime and Marianna went to court then was behind bars aswell as foolish, Bobby bulling his dad, Foolish love life, don't get me started with it, but he only has eyes for veggeta so i believe him, and many more that i won't go into detail.

This morning, I heard voices near the adoption center as I went in. It looked abandoned, webs with broken glasses and a ladder against the wall. I climb up little by little. ' Fit I don't think I am able to take care of an egg I can barely manage myself,' poking my head out to see fit with Wilbur. After 27 days he comes here and gets a child. 'Oh hey y/n, what are you doing here?' Fit asked to see Wilbur turned see me. Looking passed them to see an egg. 'I was just walking passed till I heard you both talking. Who is this little one?' Passing by them to see her with the same beanie and hair as her father. 'Hey little one I'm y/n and these men are fit and Wilbur wanna come out so we can give you some food and you can run outside?' Steping out of the glass slowly we made our ways to the bottom as i lol at the two. 'Come on you two, oh and fit you can go home to Ramon, if you want I can help Wilbur.' He nods making it to the bottom telling us good luck. Giving us a wave. Looking over to Wilbur. 'So your a father now,' the air was thick as he nods.

Within the first day of getting her, Tallulah, he got attach to her. I started to light up an area for them by the water. For Wilbur, he made a dock for her. For her to do some fishing like he did when he was a child. He made he a fishing pole as she gave him a flower with a smile. Tallulah waited to catch her first fish as i sit on the deck with my leg hanging off touching the water while Wilbur sat beside me. 'How are you feeling?' He turned to look over at me, 'y/n I'm so-' I shake my head, 'that's not what I'm asking. How are you feeling?' He took in a breathe, ' I'm good now, never knew how much my life would change because of Tallulah,' I gave a small smile, 'so where is your child?' That question made my smile disappear. 'The day everyone got their egg i was one of the last one to be assigned. When I walked up to get a ticket nothing happened and their was no egg. So I guess I wasn't fit to be a parent. But I do help other with their kids if they ask.' Tallulah was rolling in the string to pull up something she has caught. 'Dad I have got something,' she started shouting to Wilbur. With him quickly going over to help her caught her first fish. She pulled it in as Wilbur smiled. It was fun father and daughter time and possibly will be one of their first best memories. Across the stream was quackity staring at them both. Starting to walk to wilbur, 'I will be back,' giving across the river I walked up to him. 'It's not fair,' was his first words, 'it's not fair that my tilin had to die while he finds another child to raise.' There were tears in his eyes while I nod. 'Maybe Wilbur isn't tilin father quackity. Maybe it's Luzu remember he wasn't assigned ether. ' he shook his head quickly and replied, 'it's his.' Nothing had came out as I touched his shoulder, 'if you ever want to talk I'll be here,' walking back to Wilbur and Tallulah. They smiled trying to catch another. 'Wil you should talk to him,' he agreed and left tallulah here by the docks. 'Mis y/n do you like my dad,' the question stumble on me while I look across the water. I didn’t want to lie so I told the truth, ‘long ago I was in love with your father but I don’t know about now. Just don’t tell your dad.’ She gives a nod while catching another fish. The two across the water started to yell as I turned to Tallulah. ‘How about we build you a small house for you to sleep in for now while they talk.’ She gives me the fishing pole as she nods. Cutting the grass and picking up flowers we build a small dirt house. Wilbur came back and look defeated. Tallulah notice and gave him a flower. That was putting a smile on his face. Finishing the house and sitting by the water. Wilbur was putting Tallulah asleep as I didn’t know what to do. More like I was procrastinating on if I should go or not. Laying back on the grass with my eyes staring at the moon. Hearing the footsteps come closer. He sat down looking over at me then at the sly. ‘The moon beautiful isn’t it Wilbur?’ He stayed silent for a minute than looked over at me, ‘More beautiful than it know y/n.’

[qsmprambling]

Thinking about Dapper's sign again and how so much is said with so little...

The text on the sign is clear, saying that Dapper misses everyone, even his uncle Foolish who he always jokes about but clearly adores. But to those who don't know Dapper it's a bit strange, right? That Dapper would mention everyone generally, and specifically Foolish, instead of his dad? But really... it doesn't mention Bad at all exactly because of how much Dapper cares. Because just like his dad, Dapper hides how deeply he feels and often struggles to express himself, choosing instead to mix his genuine feelings with humor.

The sign is a message to everyone, it expresses his true feelings in a limited way, but the brownies... Those are a secret message to Bad, and Bad alone.

Because the only one who understands what those actually mean, and how deeply they cut, is Bad. Only Bad now knows that even in this situation, where the kids are kidnapped or fleeing for their lives, in danger and afraid and unable to come home... Dapper is thinking about how much pain their disappearance is causing Bad, so much so that when given the chance to send a single message, Dapper, in typical Dapper fashion, figures out a way to send two.

And they are 'I miss you'

And, to Bad alone, 'I'm sorry'

[fruit-sauce]

My swag and totally normal q!BBH headcanons

I need to talk about my thoughts and headcanons about q!BBH, ESPECIALLY after the lore drops of him being like. a manifestation of c!bbh as well as the fact he “arrived” in 9600 BCE??? I need to say my thoughts- NOW. (also for the fact i wanna draw these out, some of them feel kinda specific and/or complicated)

warning, its a lot:

First and foremost, he’s the Grim Reaper. That’s just a canon fact, but! I still like to remember the name “The Saints of Games” and input that into his lore. 

Basically, he started off as angel, just like q!Philza, but (after some deals and not so good things) he turned into a demon. Design wise, he can go between looking like an angel, demon, or just a guy, but that’s mostly for funsies for me lol

As a demon, he quickly became high ranking, eventually working under the goddess of death herself as “the grim reaper.” this is where he meets phil, since now they’re technically co-workers.

He used to only care for guiding spirits and souls in the underworld, but soon discovered that something was wrong. Souls were going missing, sometimes going past him multiple times. This caused him to venture to the overworld (And cause whatever he did in 9600 BCE???)

The cause of his problems was Foolish! :D Seeing as foolish is a literal totem, I like the idea of him being some type of god/demi god that causes rebirth/keep people from dying/etc. This starts their rivalry that we still see now.

As a general, not every iteration of BBH, Phil, Forever, etc. is the same, they all come from different universes and timelines, but can come together and retain the memories as they move forward. This idea came from the fact qBBH wants “a skeppy” not even his skeppy, just A skeppy. Skeppy is not a deity, so, in every universe, he has to meet bbh over and over again, there are infinite skeppys, but only 1 bbh, and bbh knows that. There is a Skeppy in the QSMP universe that’s been with bbh for years now and has some remembrance of other timelines, the “main” skeppy, if you will (mostly eggpire stuff cause i love the eggpire (something i’ll, idk, make a comic about or something one day))

On the island itself, there’s something up with it that, when they woke up on the trains, BBH, Foolish, and Phil were simply drained of their abilities and magic. They still had some, but no where near enough to leave the island or contact anyone. That being said, BBH gets his energy from souls, something he doesn’t like to do with living beings. He also just naturally takes energy from people, so he plays the bit of the grim reaper that wants people to stay hydrated and takes care of all the eggs because if everyone is happy and healthy, he doesn’t have to worry about accidentally killing them!

There are some that resist him tho: Foolish and Phil, obviously, but also Dapper, Cheyenne, and Leo! The eggs seem to take in the dna of their parents somewhat so these 3 also get that pass... Also Missa, Slime, and Rubius..

Speaking of Rubius, BBH and him I feel like HAVE to have some backstory, they’ve totally met before, both are literally angels/demons. 

Back to Foolish, as much as they poke at one another, they do trust each other a lot, when they were in that dungeon where Foolish almost died, in my head, BBH was basically pulling Foolish out of the way of the Vindicators, digging his claws into Foolish, who then used his totem body to keep BBH from dying (when BBH spent 2 totems trying to pick him up) the third totem was a normal totem tho, him saying “You’re making me eat totems” was literal, he held it in his mouth and broke thru it to use it....

that’s not how they’re supposed to be use i just think it’d look cool...

... I need to make an animatic about that...

[blockgamepirate]

So....assuming the eye bastard in Purgatory isn't lying and the teams really can save "some eggs" (I don't think this is actually even true but let's go along with it for know) what would be the likely choices?

(And yes I know Quackity apparently said the eggs are not actually gonna be killed off (although I don't have the source for this so idk what his exact wording was...) I'm talking in roleplay mode here because the characters don't know that)

So, how many eggs can be saved?

Two:

If it's only two then I feel like there's probably gonna be some kind of thing where the winning team will be broken up and they have to fight each other to be allowed to choose the eggs they want to save. I mean the eye could just allow them to argue but that doesn't seem to be its MO. It wants blood.

Six:

If it's six (yes I know I jumped all the way to the other extreme, go along with it) then it'll be a "which egg specifically are we leaving behind" (I think this is pretty unlikely but it would be heartbreaking). There's an argument to be made that Pomme is the one who still has an extra life but she also has three parents still in the game so idk. Red team would probably leave Ramón just by default, because every other egg has parents on Red team and they didn't make a deal with Fit. Blue team would have a much harder time choosing I think.

Four:

If it's four, that's an interesting one because seemingly you could account for all the parents (of living eggs) on whichever team wins but in practice not. Red team has Phil, Foolish, Cellbit and Baghera, whose assigned kids are Chayanne, Leo, Richas and Pomme. Blue has Bad, Pac, Aypierre and Missa, whose assigned kids are Dapper, Richas, Pomme and Chayanne. (I'm not counting members who never logged on btw). But we know some of them have two kids.

With Bad his other kid is already accounted for because Aypierre is on his team, but he also made a promise to advocate for Ramón. Then again if Missa doesn't log on then Chayanne also doesn't have an official parent to advocate for him, just his godparents. So if Blue wins and it's four to be saved, I assume Dapper, Pomme and Richas would be a given, but the question would be whether to save Ramón, Chayanne, Tallulah or Leo. If Missa does log on then I assume they'd choose Chayanne for him? If not, I have no idea. Tubbo and Niki would have to choose between Tallulah and Chayanne for who to advocate for, although Tubbo also said he would advocate for Leo, and Bad, I assume, would honour his deal with Fit? Tina would probably advocate for Leo. idk about the others. Tubbo and Niki might choose Tallulah just to honour Chayanne's message to Phil, but they could also choose Chayanne for Missa's sake. It's really hard to say.

If Red team won and it was four to be saved, you would have Leo and Richas as a given but Phil and Baghera would have to choose between their kids. (I'm assuming Wilbur doesn't log on.) In Phil's case, would he choose his and Missa's son or his and Wilbur's daughter? Would Chayanne's words to protect Tallulah affect his choice? Could he justify leaving Tallulah behind when she's canonically the sickly kid? In Baghera's case, would she choose the only Francophone egg as the only Francophone on the team who has to be there to advocate for their daughter? Or would she be willing to risk Pomme who has two lives and could maybe still be saved even if she lost one? Could she look Bad in the eyes and choose to leave Dapper? Could she look Aypierre in the eyes and choose to leave Pomme?

It's very unlikely that Ramón would stand a chance though. Obviously Red team would want to save Ramón as well but they all have other priorities.

Three or five:

I have no idea, I feel like these would just be messier versions of the other alternatives. Three feels like it's just not enough for negotiations (not enough for all parents in one team to have at least one kid saved) but it's kind of a lot for a full on "break the whole team up and have them fight each other over it". I'm leaning towards the latter though, they could do something like have all the eggs represented with effigies and the first three eggs to have their effigies delivered to a goal would get saved and the team would have to fight each other on the way. Or something along those lines.

With five it's basically a mix of four and six but I do think Chayanne's chances go way up because I think if blue can afford to include him they will, for Missa's sake. Then again maybe the players will consider leaving behind one of the duos, so Chayanne&Tallulah or Ramón&Dapper or Pomme&Dapper. idk. To me leaving Tallulah makes no sense because she's got her asthma, she's at highest risk, while Ramón, Dapper and Pomme are all fighters. But I can't see Bad agreeing to leaving Dapper behind, even with Ramón. I do think if the eggs themselves got to decide, there's a very good chance that Dapper and Pomme would volunteer to sacrifice themselves, but I find it really unlikely that either team would do that because they both have parents on both teams.

Red team might, if pressed, leave Ramón and Dapper behind together. Basically if it was a case of either Phil or Baghera having to give up one of their kids, which it basically is. The team might choose to let Phil as the leader take home both of his. Plus many people don't even know Baghera adopted Dapper so they might be dismissive if they like literally only just heard about it now. Plus the duo aspect with Dapper and Ramón, because Ramón would probably be left behind by the Red team no matter what.

Idk what Blue would do because while I do think they would be more likely to save Chayanne if they had the option, they have a lot of conflicting priotities. For all that Bad had a deal with Fit, Ramón might still get ditched, if only to save Tallulah instead. But who knows.

I do think this is an unlikely scenario though, I doubt it'll be six or five, I think it's gonna be four or less. If any eggs even do get to be saved at all by the winning team, which I'm still not at all convinced will happen. Although they might make the players go through the choice before actually revealing that it was all a lie.

In all honestly I do think it's all bullshit. In terms of storytelling, I don't think it makes sense, and there's been zero evidence that the eye bastard has the eggs. They have footage of the eggs running away but that's literally it. That's nothing, they could have stolen that from the Feds.

Anyway, if any of y'all have any different opinions I wouldn't mind hearing those too, obviously I don't watch all POVs so I don't know everything

[qsmpmiraheze]

Tubbo and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Did you wonder what Tubbo did on the first day of QSMP 2024? Don't worry -- we've got you covered! Join Tubbo on a journey involving many dissapointments, and many (non-)flying horses. (That's what he called those, yes. I personally think they look more like very weird chickens.)

Don't forget to check out our wiki for the most recent edition of this recap!

Tubbo was incredibly excited to join the server, first things first remarking on Dapper’s incorrect name and configuring his voice chat. Sunny immediately came to hang out by Tubbo. He was incredibly surprised at Antoine’s inventory showing up and showed off the new animation to Quackity (who was logged in from the wrong account and sounded like he was talking from the toilet). He reunited with Foolish, the two of them being incredibly excited about the Town of Fobo. Sunny said she’d missed Tubbo a lot, and Tubbo remarked on how they had fancy signs. He went on to finalizing his sound and translation settings.

He talked with Ramón and reassured him that his fathers were probably fine. Tubbo noticed the eggs’ inventory sometimes popping up and prompted Sunny to type commands. He then decided to find Phil, and scared him by greeting him from behind him. He looked at his map and noted how they were hell knows where. His game then crashed.

He logged back in. He noticed Etoiles writing down some commands as he’d already noticed some dungeons. Tubbo saw that F3 was now much nicer. Philza pointed out how much better the performance was, making both him and Tubbo even more excited. Tubbo invited Philza to the Town of Fobo. Philza said he’d think about it, and that he might just live in a hole with his eggs.

Lenay logged on, and Tubbo encouraged Sunny to go and meet her. The two tried to approach her, but her mic was broken. Tubbo reunited with Baghera. He experimented with new emotes, talked with Dapper and Pomme (and learned that Dapper had more than one father), as well as Chayanne. Tubbo also reunited with Cellbit and showed off his new skin. Tubbo had clarified that he’d forgiven Cellbit for what he’d done to Tubbo in Purgatory, but warned Sunny against interacting with him anyway. Tubbo wondered if they could get out of the landing area.

Sunny asked Tubbo about Lenay again, so he went to talk to her only to get immediately distracted by reuniting with Bagi. Tubbo got a blindness effect and beefed with Etoiles for a bit.

Everyone was teleported to spawn. People remarked on how good the place looked, but Tubbo had trouble remembering where they saw it before. Tubbo looked at the map and noticed that Create trains were visible there. He and Phil then noticed a screen with a timer, and sat down to watch it, discussing how many mobs there were.

Tubbo realized he left Sunny unattended, and went to talk to Lenay. Everyone was separated into two groups. Tubbo reunited with Empanada, happy to see her safe and sound. Tubbo greeted one of the workers that had shown up and discovered that they had the Attributes mod. He explained to Phil what it was and Phil shared his theory on what was going to happen. Tubbo and Phil experimented with their speech bubbles’ styles. The two bothered one of the workers for food and asked Leo if she was okay (she was okay). Phil and Tubbo found out they could change text on eggs’ signs and were very mature about that feature. Tubbo reassured Leo Foolish was okay. Tubbo and Phil bothered the worker some more, to no avail.

Everyone sat down to watch the cinematic. Tubbo wondered “what half that shit even meant” and immediately went to press the button. The group went to the train, and Tubbo was very excited about the next Create expansion that was added. Tubbo then fell through the train and ran across the tracks for a bit before being teleported back to the train. Tubbo begged to be the driver and cried at not being able to drive once the train took off.

Once they’d arrived at the station, everyone got off the train. They met the new workers and joked about the island being a “furry island”. Tubbo saw a dungeon and talked to Foolish. He, Foolish and Quackity killed a giraffe. Tubbo went through the items list, trying to determine which mods they had.

Other islanders came by. Ramón noted that they should get the eggs armor, first things first. Sunny informed Tubbo that she had another Dad. The group was confused, and Tubbo asked Sunny to clarify who her parents were. Quackity came by and pointed out they had to be following a certain worker. Tubbo looked through the items list some more, and then took off running after everyone else.

He questioned what the workers were. They soon arrived to spawn. They saw ATMs and Bagi laughed about how fucked Tubbo was now that they had real money for Sunny to be obsessed with. Tubbo ran around, checking out the stores and marveling at all the new stuff. Sunny asked Tubbo to win her a plushie at the local arcade machine, but Tubbo didn’t know how. Sunny decided she wanted to make her own shop, which Tubbo approved of.

Tubbo saw Etoiles screaming about how he’d gotten kicked. Foolish and Tubbo recruited more people into their town and Tubbo made sure Sunny was with them before they left to claim their territory. Foolish gave Tubbo some food. Foolish declared Antoine as their enemy. Sunny went to ask Lenay to come.

Tubbo had a phone call IRL, and after it the group continued to run further into the wilderness. Tubbo saw a cool mob and just as he approached it, a new cinematic played. Tubbo was rather excited about capitalism. Once back, Tubbo declared that the mob they’d found was now called Frank, and rode it for a bit. The group proceeded to start exploring.

The group collected resources and found a spot for Town of Fobo. They found the first home of fobo and a villager. Sunny and Leo’s beef evolved. Fit came by and checked out the Town of Fobo. Frank was killed by admins. Richarlyson was downed twice, which got Tubbo and Fit properly spooked. They beefed with Fit and Ramón and told them to get off their property, dug out a basement below the first home, Tubbo learned there was already a Town of Fobo update account and the server crashed.

Upon returning, everyone struggled with lag; the Town of Fobo continued on despite it. They mined, declared Cellbit as their enemy, and discovered an absurdly large cave system directly under the first home. As they were mining, Cucurucho showed up, and they shared their plans with it. They later said that they were surprised it was still around, as they assumed that it was replaced by Mr. Bunny.

A chat message about being chased was displayed. Foolish and Tubbo got attacked by brand new mobs multiple times, and Tubbo got downed a couple of times. They’d discovered Alex’s caves, got into the atomic age by discovering uranium. They found two spawners, in one of which Tubbo acquired a rubber ducky akin to Chayanne’s. He’d found netherite boots (which he immediately bragged about to Etoiles), and after finding another spawner, the duo headed back to the surface.

Upon arriving there, they discovered that Fit put his house right on the border with the Town of Fobo. They reunited with their daughters, who seemed to be getting along rather nicely. They put up Leo’s amethyst and the Gem of Fobo — the first ever diamond the two mined. They discovered that while they were gone, Sunny and Leo cooked six and a half stacks of toast and gathered an absurd amount of seeds.

Tubbo farmed wood and just as he gathered all the resources he needed, he found Create mod disabled. He sat in Town of Fobo, unsure what to do. He made sure Sunny had gear and asked about her relationship with Leo; Sunny told him what had happened to her while he was away.

The two went looking for dungeons. While looting a structure, Tubbo found a signed book written by Kubek727 that read, “Dupa Biskupa :D”, which is a name of a Polish game that literally translates as “bishop's bum”. Exploring further, Tubbo found a chokobo and lost Sunny before finding her again (she had been in a hole).

They ran into Etoiles, who gave them a piece of leather Tubbo needed for a chokobo saddle. He left, and the two ran back to Tubbo’s chokobo. It was named Star, but couldn’t fly, which Tubbo was disappointed about, and proceeded to declare a new mission for the day: to find a gold chokobo which would be able to fly.

They found a second chokobo which was named Blue, and Tubbo established a chokobo breeding pit. Fobo claimed its first victim (BadBoyHalo, who was killed by Foolish). Tubbo had to fight off a zombie horde.

The first natural resident of Fobo was born — a baby chocobo. Leo came by, with Foolish and Tina soon following. Leo gave Tubbo some stuff, which he was ecstatic about.

Foolish and Tubbo lied to Tina about the origins of the first home and the three chatted for a bit about chocobos, their building plans and streamer awards. Foolish and Leo logged off for today, but not before suggesting Tina be the Fobo ambassador (especially since Tina was very interested in the place). Tina and Tubbo discussed recent money-related shenanigans, chocobos, Tubbo’s state of real life and effects of lack of Create on his psyche, American food and Etoiles. Tina left to find Empanada and build a house, and Tubbo continued on with this bird breeding business.

Sunny said that she was a bit sleepy, which Tubbo was very unhappy about, though he did later clarify that he was just joking and proceeded to put Sunny to sleep. He then went back to breeding. He heard some weird sound he couldn’t identify the source of and expanded the pit.

Richarlyson came by, looking like a pin cushion (stuffed with arrows). He said that he wanted to find Bad, which Tubbo wasn’t able to help him with. Tubbo showed him his chocobos and very non-subtly asked if it was even possible to get a golden chocobo. It turned out that golden chocobos were disabled altogether.

Richarlyson hugged Tubbo in consolation, and gave him a blue axolotl even though Tubbo didn’t want it. He also gave Tubbo a shiny plant, which Tubbo agreed to. Tubbo went back into the pit and continued breeding chocobos, rambling about how he wasn’t going to give up; he then came back up and screamed some more. Richarlyson asked to use Tubbo’s crafting table. Tubbo stood over the pit and rambled about unlucky rolls. Richarlyson asked about Tubbo’s rubber duckie and said that he also was nerfed — he wasn’t able to use wooden axes. Tubbo disagreed it was a nerf, saying that it was a World Edit tool. Richarlyson asked to smelt some iron; he then suggested he ask the gods whether there could be a golden chocobo, which Tubbo enthusiastically agreed to.

Tubbo continued to lament about lack of Create and decided to become the chocobo guy. He crafted himself chocobo armor and continued to breed chocobos. He had a mental breakdown in the pit, and decided to switch to the fishing mod. Richarlyson wanted to try breeding chocobos as well, but Tubbo said that it would be rigged and didn’t allow him.

Tubbo and Richarlyson fished. Upon Tubbo’s request Richarlyson shared whether treasure chests were nerfed, and Richas made fun of Tubbo farming chocobos for so long. Tubbo threatened to break the server.

Richarlyson egged Tubbo to breed the chocobos again, which Tubbo refused to do. Tubbo screamed about backpacks still being enabled with Create mod and chocobos being disabled. He learned that a lot of backpacks' features were disabled as well.

Tubbo continued fishing and chatting with Richarlyson. At one point Richas asked Tubbo to breed chocobos one more time, which Tubbo did. Richarlyson explained that only white, black and golden ones were blocked, and that Tubbo must have had terrible luck. They discussed the situation some more, and Richarlyson revealed that Frank was ‘’his’’ chocobo all along. Richarlyson realized he had to meet up with Bad, so Tubbo sent him off.

Tubbo then fished until he got a Neptune’s Bounty. Once he did, he bred the chocobos some more and decided to go to spawn. He talked about how he might take a break until more mod stuff is unlocked. Once at spawn, he walked around, experimented with the ATM, got himself a bounty to complete and soon logged off.

[thecoddaughter]

GUTS as QSMP

Hey, yall! Quinny back with yet another album breakdown. This time: Olivia Rodrigo's 'guts'

(read below the line <3)

song: all-american bitch

characters/context: jaiden and baghera, general characterization

key lyrics:

“I pay attention to things that most people ignore” “And I am built like a mother and a total machine. I feel for your every little issue, I know just what you mean” “I forgive and I forget” (hahaha yeah they forget a few things… like their whole lives!) “I don't get angry when I'm pissed, I'm the eternal optimist I scream inside to deal with it, like, "Ah"”

song: bad idea right?

characters/context: foolish about mariana (only in the meme sense, i swear…)

key lyrics: 

“Yes, I know that he's my ex but can't two people reconnect? I only see him as a friend. The biggest lie I ever said!” “And I told my friends I was asleep but I never said where or in whose sheets”

song: vampire

characters/context: baghera about the federation 

key lyrics:

“I used to think I was smart but you made me look so naïve. The way you sold me for parts as you sunk your teeth into me!” “You're so convincing… How do you lie without flinching?”

song: lacy

characters/context: foolish about jaiden and cellbit being the federation’s favorites

key lyrics:

“Aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of Hell?” “Like perfume that you wear, I linger all the time, watching, hidden in plain sight.” “The sweetest torture one could bear” “Like ribbons in your hair, my stomach's all in knots. You got the one thing that I want.” “You poison every little thing that I do”

song: ballad of a homeschooled girl

characters/context: jaiden, general characterization (i kinda wanted to put juana but this is more funny)

key lyrics:

“Cat got my tongue and I don't think I get along with anyone” “I broke a glass, I tripped and fell. I told secrets I shouldn't tell. I stumbled over all my words.” “I laughed at the wrong time, sat with the wrong guy. Searchin' "how to start a conversation?" on a website. I talked to this hot guy, swore I was his type, guess that he was makin' out with boys, like the whole night. Everythin' I do is tragic. Every guy I like is gay.” (she’s literally in a qpr with a gay couple but still funny to me) “Don't let me out at night! I'm shocked I'm still alive!”

song: making the bed

characters/context: dapper, general characterization

key lyrics:

“Want it, so I got it, did it, so it's done. Another thing I ruined, I used to do for fun.” “I thought it, so I said it, took it 'cause I can. Another day pretendin' I'm older than I am.” “Push away all the people who know me the best but it's me who's been makin' the bed.” “And every night, I wake up from this one recurrin' dream where I'm drivin' through the city, and the brakes go out on me. I can't stop at the red light, can't swerve off the road. I read somewhere it's 'cause my life feels so out of control.” “They're changin' my machinery, and I just let it happen.”

song: logical

characters/context: idk????? Part of me wanted to but fit and spreen but I know nothing about their relationship.

key lyrics:

song: get him back!

characters/context: (i want put 4halo again but i shouldn’t so you are getting nothing. Listen to the song still its a banger)

key lyrics:

song: love is embarrassing

characters/context: badboyhalo and forever

key lyrics:

“And now it don't mean a thing! God, love's f-----g embarrassing” “And I consoled you while you cried over your ex-girlfriend's new guy. My God, how could I be so stupid?” “I placed my bets and it's not worth anything. I give up, give up but I keep comin' back for more!”

song: the grudge

characters/context: slime to mariana (i’m mean, sorry! this is in the context of juana)

key lyrics:

“I have nightmares each week about that Friday in May. One phone call from you and my entire world was changed.” “You took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers and I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did but I hold on to every detail like my life depends on it.” “And I know in my heart hurt people hurt people and we both drew blood, but, man, those cuts were never equal.” “But even after all this, you're still everything to me and I know you don't care, I guess that that's fine.”

song: pretty isn’t pretty

characters/context: leonardo, especially the day before being taken

key lyrics:

“Bought a bunch of makeup tryna' cover up my face” “'Cause there's always something missin'. There's always something in the mirror that I think looks wrong “You can win the battle but you'll never win the war. Fix the things you hated and you'd still feel so insecure.”

song: teenage dream

characters/context: eggs, general characterization

key lyrics:

Pomme - “When am I gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise?” Leo - “When am I gonna stop being a pretty young thing to guys?” Dapper - “When am I gonna stop being great for my age and just start being good?” Richas - “When will it stop being cool to be quietly misunderstood?” Tallulah - “And when does wide-eyed affection and all good intentions start to not be enough?” Dapper - “When will everyone have every reason to call all my bluffs?” Ramon - “And when are all my excuses of learning my lessons gonna start to feel sad?” Chayanne - “Will I spend all the rest of my years wishing I could go back?” JUST IMAGINE THEM SCREAMING THIS LINE: “​​Oh, they all say that it gets better. It gets better the more you grow. Yeah, they all say that it gets better. It gets better, but what if I don't?”

[my-brothers-corrupted]

Book Four - Part 9

Dapper wakes up somewhere new, feeling unwell, while Trick struggles alone in his room. Red, Blue, and Dok come home to help.

Tws for imprisonment, major illness, psychosis, sedation, and verbal and physical aggression from Anti.

Part 9 - The Locked Room

Anonymous asked: Sorry for saying you were a joke... it's just that your source material didn't really paint you in a nuanced or multidimensional way, and that's mostly what we're all basing our understanding on... You're a bit of a prick tho

Your camera comes back to life in unfamiliar hands as afternoon light spills across black hair and turns it to gold. Silver turns you gently in his palms, curious and bright-eyed, the panic of the night before gone from his face. Closer up, you can see some of the ways in which he is not Mark - a pair of small scars across his chin, a habit of picking at his lips that leaves them raw and red, a gauge in one ear.

As for your camera, the tiny symbol of an eye that usually resides in the corner, either opened or unopened, has been replaced by a small, presumptuous G.

“Hi,” says Shep, sat on his bed and looking at you. He hears footsteps down the hallway outside his room and furtively tucks you against his side, waiting for the steps to pass before he draws you out again.

“Hi,” he repeats, beginning to smile. “This is cool. I actually have a way to talk to you. Yeah, no, it’s okay. My source material is a joke, that’s why I said it even before you did. But - a prick?”

He pauses, glancing away.

“A prick,” he repeats in a mumble. “I think that’s new… I like that, let me just…”

He hops out of bed and takes a journal from one of his dressers, and then opens it up to reveal a long list of descriptors, some more inane than others, all printed in scrappy handwriting down the lines of his notebook. There are general adjectives in some places - “strong,” “bold,” “foolish,” “cute,” “conniving,” “selfish,” “clever,” “sweet” - but other places have full phrases or apparently random words - “you fucking annoyance,” “loves kids,” “buddy,” “your own kind of superhero,” “my soldier,” “a joke Mark forgot about,” “martial arts nerd,” “eats all the fucking candy in the house” - and it goes on for pages and pages.

On the first open line, he pulls out a pen and writes “a bit of a prick.”

Anonymous asked: damn, shepard. what happened to you lot?

Shep puts down his pen and turns to you, grinning. “Ah, you’re gonna have to be a little more specific than that. It’s been a long… eight years? And you haven’t exactly kept up to date with me. Which isn’t your fault. I guess. Not really.”

He side-eyes you, flipping his pen between his fingers.

“Anyway, this is my first year back in Dark’s houses for a while. I was living in the city for a few years after Dark kicked me out because I kept, uh. Bringing criminals back to the house for interrogations. They said I brought too much attention to us, so they had Google throw me out. Guess I deserved it… it turned out to be mostly okay. I had my own apartment for a while. My own pet rat. I was teaching martial arts and making rent. Then I kind of got into some trouble trying to be a fucking hero again… and I got lonely. Stressed all the time. Can’t keep a girlfriend. Rat died. Kind of a breaking point for me. So I came back here. Because of course I did. Because I always do. Because I don’t have any purpose without somebody else fucking giving it to me.”

He sighs bitterly, scratching at the web of cuts on his leg from Anti’s vines last night. Some of them are fairly deep, but he’s just stuck a mess of Band-Aids over the top and went to sleep with a towel beneath his legs just in case.

Anonymous asked: are you happy with this, shep? i'm trying to figure out how much we can trust you.

“You can trust me entirely, we’re just not on the same side,” answers Shep frankly, raising his eyebrows at you. “What’s not to trust? I belong to Dark. That’s true. There you go. Make of it what you will. And as for being happy, it doesn’t bother me. I’ve done much nastier things for Dark and enjoyed them much more. Parts of my life are still hard on me, but I’ve done what Dark tells me for the better part of eight years, ever since I pulled my head out of my ass and realized Mark was never going to come back and make me a real hero. So now I make my own choices. Sometimes I make ones he probably wouldn’t make for me. Sometimes I make ones almost no one else would be able to make. And that’s freedom. That adrenaline… that knowing that you are changing someone else’s life, that you matter, even in the worst fucking way possible… that’s freedom.”

Anonymous asked: are you doing ok, shep? seems like your life's been a bit of a mess.

“Yeah,” laughs Shep. “Honestly, things are fine now. I’m just never getting out of this house, you know? I don’t know. Ippy moved out two years ago. Yan’s in prison and nobody wants to bust her out after what she did. Dark has Google throw out or kill anybody who annoys them. Wil travels half the year, Eric works at the aquarium, Host’s published, even the twins have jobs, haha. And Bim…”

Silver scratches bitterly at his legs, maybe trying to draw a little blood now, bored of the scabs.

“Ran off about four months ago,” he mutters. “I miss him. Asshole. Didn’t tell me where he was going. Doesn’t answer his phone. Could have taken me with him. There was nobody quite that chaotic. I don’t know, maybe Dark just killed him to stop him from making our faces too public like he always wanted to, the little showman. But no, it’s okay. I’m like Google, you know? I’m just always going to be stuck in this fucking house. But I like it pretty well. Dark keeps me busy. And I like when the others come visit. I’m pretty much friends with everybody. Maybe I’ll get another rat soon.”

He flashes you a sudden look of alarm, his hands drawing away from his legs.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m… first time I get to talk to you in years and I don’t have anything worth saying, I just - I can tell you stories! Maybe. Uh. I’m not good at telling stories. Ask Host. I should have taken video then so I could have something to show you. You’re going to forget again and then all of this will be for nothing and no one will even see me differently. Eight years! Fuck. Do you want to go talk to somebody else? I bet you do. Well, sorry I’m not good enough for you, okay? Guess I never was. Whatever.”

He shoves the camera onto the bed, picking tersely at his mouth.

The door swings suddenly open. A figure in a long coat leans against the doorway, crossing his arms.

“I can hear you being a little bitch all the way from my room,” drawls Host.

“Oh, fuck off!”

Host laughs and leaves him again. He’s not interested in chatting.

“This story isn’t about us,” he calls back at Shep. “Don’t damage the narrative integrity with your need for their attention. Let them see their baby brother. He’s not well.”

Anonymous asked: hey, shep, don't you start saying you're not good enough for us. no matter what mark says or did to you, made you a joke or whatnot, that doesn't mean you can't become something different. and i have no doubt that one day, people will know you, and people will love you. maybe you'll have your own story. you just... can't rely on mark to write it for you. sometimes you have to do things like that for yourself. and for what it's worth, i think you're pretty cool. you're different. for example, what's up with that book you just wrote in?

Shep grins weakly, acknowledging the foolishness of his own outburst.

“I try to get rid of the thoughts of him,” he says. “You should hear Dark snarl about the stories Mark told about them… but I’m just jealous. It’s stupid. And you guys - you never - ”

He shrugs and lets out a huff, the irritation fading again. He knows it’s all useless and unfair, but it never stops eating at him. What could have been. But he tries to cheer up for you.

“These are just things I am or might be,” he says, hefting the book. “Things other people have called me. I try to figure out which ones are true. And which ones I want to be. I’m not good at that part so much, though. Sometimes I decide I want to be, like, nice, but then next thing I know I’m shouting at somebody for looking at me wrong, ha. I’m glad the others put up with me. I mean, some of them are dicks. But we kind of make a team together.”

“I’m not what I was then,” he adds after a moment. “So maybe I broke away a little. But at the same time, I’m not sure the story I’ve told is the one that I wanted. Or the one that I want.”

Anonymous asked: it's okay, shep, we don't mind hearing you talk. could we go see dapper, though? i'm a little worried about him.

Shep lets out a sigh, breathing out some of his anxiety. “Yeah. Sure. Is that actually his goddamn name? We’ve got some pretty nutty names around here, but not ‘Dapper.’ I guess it’s kind of cute.”

He gets to his feet and scoops you up, wandering down the stairs. The house is quiet but for the whirling of a fan overhead and the buzzing of a show somebody left playing on the TV. Out in the yard, you catch a glimpse of a few of them playing badminton, dropping the birdie most of the time and then racing each other to pick it up and bring it back to their side. Wilford’s booming voice drifts into the house as though from much farther away than it is. Around their feet, barking joyfully, is a dog almost as enormous as Anti’s wolf-like form, wagging its tail furiously and racing to the birdie along with its owners.

“Actually,” says Shep, pausing outside the only door with extra locks. “I’m not sure Ippy will want me inside. Let’s see if he’s in here.”

He pushes the door gently open. Edward only glances up for a second before turning back to his notes. It’s a makeshift clinic room, barely even the size of the bedrooms, and it’s cramped with a desk and a bed and some examination equipment and dressers with supplies in them. Dapper’s on the bed, tucked up tight, asleep.

“What’s that?” asks Ippy.

“Uh, a camera.”

“Is it now?” he answers dryly.

“There’s an audience or something.”

“Is there someone who can tell me what’s going on with my patient?”

“Well. I guess. I think.”

Ippy reaches out, beckoning for the camera. Shep hands it over and Ippy drops you on the bed, still scrawling in his little notebook. “I’d like medical history, please, allergies, recent injuries, notable behaviors, sleeping habits, blood type, next of kin, etc. Start talking.”

Shep chuckles at his bluntness and pulls up a chair beside him, grinning at his friend as he works.

“What are you looking at?” mutters Ippy, and he reaches out to shove playfully at Shep’s head. “Called me in on my day off for this, huh. Fuckers. You’re lucky he’s actually sick or I’d be peeved.”

Anonymous asked: you can always change. seriously, shep, it's never too late to become someone different. and i'm sorry that none of us did anything. it's difficult, when mark made so many videos and gave so many more characters attention and left others with nothing. you did not deserve that, and i'm genuinely so sorry. does mark still even make videos? we haven't heard anything about him in a long time.

“You’re talking to them about this?” asks Ippy.

Shep shrugs, settling down in his chair.

“It’s very simple, Shepherd. Mark doesn’t have much control of his power and even if he did you were still early enough that you would have been created.”

“I know, Ip.”

“Telling a story about you would only limit your freedom and subject us to more publicity, which is dangerous.”

“I know, Ippy.”

“The audience can’t do anything for us without videos and them dwelling on the thought of us does not make you any more of a - ”

“I know, Edward!” snaps Shep. “Okay?”

Ippy rolls his eyes and turns back to Dapper.

“Mark makes videos sometimes, but he focuses on bigger productions,” adds Shep with a sigh. “I think he mostly wrapped up ego stuff, but you never know with him. We don’t talk. And ever since he got that bigger deal as a real producer - ”

“Can we not talk about Mark?” asks Ippy. “I don’t like hearing about him. He’s fine, I guess, but I just prefer to live a Mark-less life at this point, thanks. A life unmarked by Mark, as it were.”

“You really are peeved today.”

“I just have boundaries, Shep, maybe you should learn some.”

.

Dok wakes to the buzzing of the lights in the bathroom.

He shifts uncomfortably, feeling his back protest, but the cold plastic of a hospital chair is much better than waking up in that room back in the house, aching on the unfinished floor, dreaming of spiders crawling over his skin. He shudders and sits up, pulling his - oh. This is Red’s hoodie, wrapped around him. He sighs and glances at his brother splayed over the side of Blue’s bed, dead asleep.

The bathroom is silent but for those burning lights. He waits a long time, but nothing moves.

“Blue?” he calls wearily, getting to his feet. He knocks his fist gently against the door. “Okay? Want the nurse or something?”

Blue doesn’t answer.

“Hey, Blue, no silences,” he begs with a sigh, rubbing at his head. “Too many nights finding Trick hurting himself in the bathroom. Come on.”

Blue mumbles something. Dok grimaces and pushes open the door.

He’s okay, which he’s grateful for, though he’s almost too tired to be relieved. He steps forward and takes Blue carefully by the wrists. He was just standing there staring at them. Too intently. Too blankly.

“What’s going on?” asks Dok.

Blue turns to look at him and his eyes are fogged and all but blind. Dok touches his cheek to ground him, sighing in his brother’s stead.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t have to be sorry. Tell me what’s up.”

“I don’t… know. Just… looking at myself. So weird.”

“What’s weird?”

Blue reaches out and touches his own reflection on the surface of the mirror.

“Not me,” he mumbles. “More and more often, it’s not me. Not real. It makes me feel really… I don’t… I don’t like it.”

Dok shifts on his feet and pulls his sibling’s fingers away. “That’s called dissociation,” he says. “I get it too sometimes when Anti uses me. It can’t be easy having been possessed so often lately.”

Blue shakes his head numbly, managing to fix his eyes on him for a moment. “Dissociation,” he repeats.

“Let’s ground. Tell me three things about your body.”

“What?”

“Look. In the mirror. Tell me three things about yourself. Anything. Obvious things. It’s okay.”

Blue stares into the mirror, blinking. His mouth parts. But he doesn’t say anything. After a moment, there are tears welling in his eyes.

“Blue,” breathes Dok.

“Sorry,” repeats Blue frailly, turning away from the sight of himself, covering his face with his hands. He doesn’t want to see himself. He doesn’t want Dok to look at him. He doesn’t want anyone to look at him ever again.

“What’s going on?”

“I just want Anti’s fucking head, alright?” snaps Blue. “I just want to murder him. And then I’ll feel like myself again, and I’ll get my magic back, and then my body back, and we can have a chance to be okay again. And until then I just have to deal with this. Until I rip his goddamn throat out. Like I promised him I would. When my hands are covered in his blood, then I’ll feel better.”

Dok looks at him, taken a little aback. His hands curl together nervously on his stomach. He stares down at the floor.

Blue sighs bitterly through his teeth, shaking his head. “I know you don’t like talking about blood. Sorry.”

Dok shrugs. “Is fine.”

“Dok, I just can’t take much more, you know that, I know you feel the same way… surely you get this same bloodlust, don’t you, my darling? He’s been torturing you. Don’t you want to torture him back?”

Dok’s stomach turns. He takes a step back, shaking his head.

“I would not like to ever torture anybody ever again,” he says quietly. “I have had my fair share, thank you.”

They stand side-by-side in the bathroom, frowning together, cold.

“What if it doesn’t make it better?” asks Dok.

“What?”

“What if killing Anti doesn’t make it feel better?”

“Killing Anti will solve most every problem of mine I can think of,” answers Blue soundly, straightening up.

“Oh, goodness,” grumbles Dok, rolling his eyes. “I’m not even going to start with you.”

“Better not, you sassy little monkey man.”

“Monkey man? I am monkey man? How dare you say this.”

“Yeah. You’re bananas.”

“Blue, I will end you.”

But he’s laughing now and that’s what matters. Dok snorts and rolls his eyes, trying to let himself laugh a little too. He leaves the bathroom and flops down on his chair, gazing at Blue as he limps back into his bed and sits down. They look at each other for a long moment, trying to make each other smile with their own tired grins.

“I’m sorry you’re hurting,” whispers Blue. “I wish I could keep all of you safe.”

“Don’t have to be sorry,” Dok says again, letting his eyes slip shut. “I know you’re trying so hard. It’s not your fault at all.”

“I’ll kill Anti for you,” Blue swears, his eyes shining through the haze that seems to lie over them most days. “Then we can be okay again.”

“And what if we can’t?” asks Dok, barely even registering the words before he feels them leave his mouth. “What if we can’t kill him, Blue? What happens then?”

Blue stares out at the smog of the sky, wishing he could see the stars.

“Then I think he’ll kill us instead,” he answers simply. “And then, either way… it’ll be over.”

Dok nods slowly, not opening his eyes. Blue reaches out. They hold each other’s hands in the low light.

.

Anonymous asked: Hey there Ippy, we don't know much about Jameson medically, besides that he has schizophrenia and takes the medicine Haloperidol/Haldol, and he's allergic to rowan (as though he might be a chageling?). He's not a regular human either, he's basically Jacksepticeye's version of you guys.

“Ohhh,” says Ippy, standing slightly outside his clinic, arms crossed over his chest and eyes wide. “Schizophrenia. I’m relieved, actually. Because if this was fever delirium… we would have a problem.”

Google leaps out of the room, synthetic blood dripping down his neck, and slams the door hard behind him, panting. From within the room, hissing.

“Kid’s fucking nuts,” Gigi snarls.

“Kid’s fucking delusional,” answers Ippy sharply. “And that’s not his fault. This is on you for kidnapping somebody with a psychotic disorder.”

“He would have died there anyway,” sneers Gigi, stalking past Ippy. He has a red shirt now instead of blue. “That little monster wasn’t going to get him any help for that infection. And if you don’t do something fast, he’ll die here instead. He’s exhausting himself. Sedate him again.”

“No. Too much sedating. We have to calm him down. I’ll give him his Haldol intravenously so he can’t throw it up with this fever. You just have to steal some for me.”

“I only take orders from the Darkness,” answers Google.

Ippy sighs and shakes his head, turning stonily back to the door of his clinic. “If this doesn’t change, I’m sending him back to his brothers.”

“That place has no family. And Dark will speak with him before he’s let go. You get him well enough that he can have a discussion, then he’s free to go.”

Anonymous asked: JJ, honey, are you doing alright? I know you must be absolutely terrified right now, but at the very least you're getting medical treatment and they plan to give you back to Anti after you have a discussion with the Darkness. I know it'll be absolutely terrifying, but I think it's the only way to get home. Ippy is going to give you Haldol, if you'll let him? You'll feel much clearer if you do, then maybe you can make plans on what to do next.

JJ has not struggled this much with his symptoms since he and Red were homeless in Columbia and he knows it.

But he can’t make it stop.

“Tell my big brothers to come get me if they have to kill everyone in this house to do it!” his hands scream, and that is the last coherent thought you get out of him.

He moves! He has to move. He doesn’t just pace, he darts around the room, he races. His hands strike strike strike every surface. He pauses only for a moment to be sick over the waste basket, leaving him pale and dizzy, but even then his body is consumed by wracking spasms and shakes. He spins in a circle. He can’t stop looking at the lights no matter how hard he tries. His eyes are up, up, up. Fluttering, rolled back. Watching the light. Fixed on the light. If he looks away bad things will happen. The cameras told him so. Didn’t they? Someone did and he knows it must be true. He has to look at the light or the Darkness will get him.

“I’m already here,” whispers Dark’s voice in JJ’s head. He spasms and jolts back with terror, rubbing at his arms and shaking himself like he’s trying to act out a seizure, but despite his frantic motion and his fear, his face is numbed to any emotion, blank as it was when Red would struggle to understand him in Columbia. Dapper starts to sign wildly, but the words don’t make sense together to anyone but him.

“Skin. I was in. Blood up tree branch he made me go there and I didn’t want to! Can’t Red come? Miss candy and bedsheets, where? The radio, turn down. Does my blood come up? Does my blood rise?”

Ippy peeks his head inside the room. Dapper turns and sends a lamp flying towards him, smashing it against the wall, and Ippy ducks away again. Dapper grins joylessly, with his teeth, his eyes rolled towards the lights on the ceiling. He holds up his wrists and his hands dangle as though on string. Then he crumples to the ground, dazed and panting, scratching at the fever in his face.

“Jackie,” he begs. “Chase.”

Anonymous asked: dapper, jamie, my dear. you're okay, yeah? we would tell you if we thought you were in danger. and now i'm telling you to try to be calm, okay? we'll tell you if we think you're in danger. i promise.

For just a moment, he manages to drag his flickering eyes over to you. There’s a red light on the camera. That counts, right? Does it? His hands search the floors for his bear. Trick packed his things. Didn’t he? But what if it was a trick? Isn’t that why he named him that? Also guns and grey shirts.

He rubs at his aching, pounding head, and swats at a tactile hallucination on his legs. Just a snake, though, and those you don’t have to worry about. It’s dogs and cats that will tear their teeth into you.

He registers the promise vaguely, but his paranoia is so high he could be home safe and sound and still feel that Dark was slowly killing him. He casts his eyes over your message, counting the y’s. Nine. Does that mean something? He knows it means something. The universe is trying to talk to him. God is trying to talk to him. He just needs to listen.

Anonymous asked: ippy's gonna get you your haldol, okay? he's kind. he won't hurt you. do you think you can agree to that, dap? that way, if you are in danger, it'll be clearer, and if it's a hallucination that'll be clearer too.

He would like his Haldol. He would. That’s one of the only mercies Anti usually grants him. He registers that someone is coming into the room and you said it was okay. He rocks his head back and forth, trying to think, feeling drool clinging to his lips. Where is he?

Ippy tries again. Creeping, patient, quiet.

“Are you feeling up to talking?” he asks quietly, when he manages to get into the room without being assaulted. Dapper learned from Anti and when he does not have a blade he makes use of his teeth and his mean white fingernails.

Dapper rocks his head, still trembling from the catatonia, burning with fever.

“I don’t know where to fucking start,” Ippy mumbles, kneeling down beside him. “You’re going to puke up your medication. Google might get you some of the liquid stuff, might not. Depends how generous he thinks he’s being. And what Dark tells him…”

Dapper shudders, baring his teeth.

“Please turn down the radio,” he says, clawing at his ears between signs, but it just looks like more frantic movement to Ippy. “So many people talking all at once.”

“Can I give you something for the fever?” asks Ippy, getting up to get him some water and medicine. “Yeah? Try to keep you hydrated? I need to look at your wrist.”

Dapper clutches his arm to his chest, squirming. “Anti? You’re playing games with me? Can I come out, please? Been good.”

scunneredzombie asked: Jay, they're going to give you some of your medicine. You have a really bad fever right now, it's most likely making the psychosis much much worse. We're here to help and so is Ippy. You will be okay. Breathe, Dapper, just breathe. You will get through this. Remind yourself of things you know are real, things that are unchanging and true no matter what. Cling to those for now. That's what I do during my psychotic episodes.

What’s real? What’s unchanging? What’s true?

Dapper squints his eyes up at the light on the ceiling and tries to think. His hand is still searching for his things. Ippy passes his backpack towards him and Dapper finds his bear, dragging his gaze down to it. Red and Blue and Dok got it for him for Christmas this year. He’s had it for months, even in Columbia. The fur is alpaca. It doesn’t feel quite like any other texture. Cloudy and thick at the same time. Warm. It still smells, faintly, of their home in Peru.

He tries to breathe.

“Okay, I’m going to try to give you some medicine here,” Edward warns him carefully, moving closer. “It’s good for you. Just to bring the fever down a little. I’ll look at your wrist again here in a minute.”

JJ scoots away, shaking his head, but it only makes him dizzy. A hundred voices speak to him. Edward’s is rich and deep and all too familiar. He concentrates on the faint beep of the camera, a sound he’s grown used to over months and months of what would otherwise be total loneliness.

He hopes Trick is okay at home. He’s sorry he left him alone.

Anonymous asked: yeah, you're doing well, dap. just gotta hang on a little longer, okay? and ippy will help you, dap. you don't have to trust him, but you trust us, don't you? and we trust him. it's okay, dap. you're gonna be okay.

Ippy takes his chin in his hand and angles him towards him.

Nope.

Anchors fall away and Dapper feels something inside himself snap. This has always been the rule. This has always been the rule, the rule he has learned since his creation: no one touches him but Anti and his brothers.

No one.

And the punishments he’s seen Anti inflict on those who broke that rule -

Dapper does not often wish for a voicebox that works. But right now, all he wants to do is fucking scream.

His teeth flash and bite down hard on Ippy’s hand, making Dark’s look-alike yelp in alarm. Dapper slams their heads together and grabs him by the throat, burning with fury, burning with fear, burning alive on a pyre he did not set, and then Google is there, and he has him by the hair, and he shoves a needle deep into the neck of Anti’s most savage attack dog.

Dapper quails, gripping frantically at Gigi’s hand. He chokes and looks up into deep brown eyes. There is no red glow.

He slides to the ground, asleep. Google lets him go.

“Alright?” asks Google quietly.

Ippy swears under his breath and puts his hand to his forehead, teeth marks indented in the skin. “I’m fine, goddammit.”

“Keep him asleep til he’s better,” says Gigi. “I will not tell you again.”

Edward shakes his head slowly, biting his lip, but he doesn’t protest.

Jamie sleeps. The fever is burning in his flesh.

Anonymous asked: Trick is right, Anti. You keep asking, multiple times now, "why did this all fall apart?" And the answer is because you constantly excuse your cruelty, excuse your abuse and all the pain you cause, by blaming Jack and saying you "can't control yourself". You, sir, are just as capable as anyone else in the world of controlling your temper and controlling your aggression. You need to stop making excuses. They will leave over and over and over if you do not change.

“Leave over and over,” mutters Anti under his breath, his eyes angry, aglow in the morning light through the great window in the master bedroom.

Trick is still asleep, though he shifts now, his hair mussed around his eyes. The roots have turned brown. The bright green is beginning to fade to yellow.

Anti wraps his arms around his waist, tugging him close. Trick rolls over with a yawn, trying to rise, but Anti’s grip holds him in place. Trick cracks open an eye and finds himself pressed against him.

“Anti, hey, wake up,” he mumbles, rubbing at his sleepy eyes. “Lemme go. I want a shower and some coffee.”

Anti is already awake, but Trick can’t see that, and he doesn’t move. Trick pauses. He starts trying to squirm out of Anti’s arms without moving enough to wake him if he is sleeping, but he doesn’t have much luck. Anti tightens his arms around him as he tries to escape.

“Anti?”

Anti glares out the window, ignoring his wriggling. Eventually, blinking in surprise, Trick just stays in place.

Leave over and over. Anti grips his ribs until his fingernails put cuts in Trick’s shirt. Leave. Ha. He isn’t going anywhere.

Anonymous asked: are you alright then, anti?

Anti gets out of bed after a half hour has passed. Trick is hot and uncomfortable, needing to stretch and change out of his sweaty sleeping clothes and use the bathroom. But he’s stopped struggling by the time Anti releases him.

The glitch gets to his feet and picks out an appearance for the day in the mirror, settling on the younger man he wore when Dapper was created, ruffling teal hair in the mirror. Trick sits up and gives him a smile. Anti doesn’t answer your question, but the way he looks at Trick - he focuses on the bruises someone left in his wrist as they pulled him along. Something simmers in Anti’s eyes. He turns towards the door.

“Where are you going?” asks Trick, hurrying out of bed. “Hey - Anti? Come on, have breakfast with me or something. Don’t leave me, dude.”

“I have to go get your little brother,” answers Anti. “Just stay here, Trick.”

“Anti, I - ”

He glitches away.

Trick stares at the door, mouth slightly parted.

Anonymous asked: You gonna do something that will stop Dark from kicking your ass a second time?

“Where in the narrative did Dark kick my ass?” snaps Anti, stalking into the forest. “Last I checked I was tearing them and their fucking soldiers a new one when Bubblegum McGee scoops my kiddo off the ground and disappears like the deranged little thief he is. And then all of them went sprinting for the hills. No. When I find Dark, I’m burning down everything they love and tearing apart that mangled excuse for a spine of theirs. Then we’ll see if they remember me.”

Anonymous asked: Trick? You want to talk for a bit?

“Yeah, uh, yeah,” says Trick, trying to recover quickly, nodding his head and straightening up. “Yes, please. House is super quiet without anybody else! Last time I was this alone was when Blue was in hospital and I’d come back to the house and try not to worry about everybody else too much. But I do have Noodle! He’s always got my back. I’m just going to get changed and then we’ll go make some breakfast and check on kitty cat, yeah? Doesn’t have to be a sucky day just cause things are trying to go bad. I can stay positive.”

Anonymous asked: Alright, we'll just have a bit of a "you" day. Decompress a bit. It's good to check in on yourself and have a little time off. (Give noodle some pets please!)

“Yes,” laughs Trick. He worries at his hands, yes, kneading his fingers into his palms, and you can see the edge of a breakdown somewhere in the back of his eyes, but he has survived a lot and he wants to prove to himself that he can be okay even without Dok sometimes. Maybe even to be okay when Dok isn’t, so he can look after him better. So he can look after all of them better.

Next time they’re scared enough to run away, he wants to be someone they can trust.

“Decompress - play some games, probably - chill with my cat - cook a ton - swim, maybe… yeah!” Trick pulls his shirt over his head and turns toward the door, grabbing the handle. “I’ll - ”

It’s locked.

Trick stops. Tries it again. Stares. Glances at you. Tries again.

It’s still locked.

He stands in front of the door. His hand rests on the door handle.

Outside, a mewl.

Anonymous asked: can the window open, trick?

“The… window?” he asks. “Yeah… yeah, it can. But I’m on the second story.”

He moves to the window and lets it swing open. The fresh air and the scent of the forest are refreshing, but the red brick of the patio is still several meters down.

Anonymous asked: where's noodle?

Claws pick at the carpet outside Anti’s bedroom. Trick hurries back to the door and kneels down, crouching to try and see his cat through the crack beneath it.

“Mrow,” complains Noodle loudly, scraping at the carpet with his claws out. “Meehhhh.”

“Daddy’s here, kitty cat, I’m right here.” Trick reaches for him as though he could pull him beneath the door. Noodle attacks one of his fingers, chewing on the end, but Trick doesn’t even mind. “Are you hungry? I’m sorry I didn’t let you out last night. Things were crazy, baby. But I’m coming, boyo, I’ll… I’ll, uh…”

What is he supposed to do?

Anonymous asked: do you think anti will be mad if you leave the room?

“I don’t know. It was probably an accident.”

Noodle yowls on the other side of the door. Trick stares at his kitten’s paws, his eyebrows drawn back in worry. You see him look down at his feet.

He knows it wasn’t an accident. And he wouldn’t have locked it if he was okay with Trick leaving.

Anonymous asked: Okay unless we know a for our window downstairs is unlocked, I wouldn't use the window, don't want you getting locked out of the house entirely. You think you might be able to find a key or break the lock if you need to?

“It’s… maybe I could? I don’t want to get in trouble. But there’s no keyhole on this side. I’d have to really bust the door up. And then he’d be so angry.”

Trick steps back from the door, chewing on his nails. He closes his eyes and tries to breathe.

“Okay,” he says after a moment. “Okay. I wish he hadn’t done this, but he did. I’m safe in here. I have a bathroom with water and all the stuff I packed into a bag in case I got kidnapped is here. Dapper was keeping food in the drawers. I’m okay. But my poor cat…”

Anonymous asked: for now, at least, you can make sure noodle has food, right? is the food only in there? maybe you can grab a little something and push it under the door

“That’s a good idea. Okay, let me look.”

He goes back to the bottom drawer and pulls it open to reveal Dapper’s stash. He recoils a little, scrunching up his nose - he hadn’t realized how bad it smelled in the panic of last night, but now he notices.

“This is kind of nasty… we’ve only been here a couple weeks. Why would he keep - ugh, cheese!” Trick chucks the hot string cheese towards the trash, making a gagging motion. “He has to know this would go bad right away, right? Why even take it? Look, my cookies from last week. Hard as rocks cause he didn’t even ask me to wrap them. There’s lint on them. He just shoved them in his pockets. Fuck’s sake… oh!”

Here’s some stuff that should still be edible. Crackers still in their packs. A couple apples. Tupperware with brownies. One pack of raisins, one pack of dried cranberries. And a little pack of Dapper’s favorite - jerky. Most of it is gone, but there are a few good chunks still at the bottom.

“At least I can give him something, then,” says Trick, taking a breath.

Anonymous asked: Anti keeps his favorite trophy locked up in a case when not in use

Trick looks at you, eyes wide, and then away, trying to make himself scowl. He crouches down beside the door and pushes dried meat towards his cat. Noodle seems to accept the offering. He goes quiet and Trick hears him chewing. It’ll take him a while to get through that.

Trick sits back on his heels and stares at the door.

“Always wanted to be Anti’s favorite trophy,” he mumbles, something frightened and tired passing across his face. “Or thought I did, I guess.”

Anonymous asked: you have a choice, then, trick. do you want our help in leaving the room, to go to noodle? or will you stay here and wait for anti to come back and let you out?

Trick sighs and slumps down against the door, rubbing at his face. He stares out the window and thinks.

“You know… I think I’ll try to stay here for a while,” he says, giving you a smile that looks more like a grimace. “It’s not bad. We’ve definitely stayed in much worse places! I have lots of room and a clean bathroom and everything I need. Maybe I’ll take a bath. Yeah… it’s okay.”

He glances around the room. How long has he been in here? Two hours? Oh, twenty minutes. He bites his lip and sighs. He puts his head between his knees and rubs at the back of his neck.

“Always kind of knew it couldn’t really be fun for anybody to be locked in a room all day. But I thought maybe, with Dapper’s nerves, it was better for him just to stay up there with Anti. And when I imagined it, I guess I made everything nice. Him getting to eat his own food, sleep whenever he wants, just working on his art all the time. Doing whatever he wanted, you know? I usually imagined Anti actually… being here, though. Yeah. I guess that I thought that when he loved me, I’d be able to feel it.”

Trick pauses, looking up. Looking out at the sun.

“That’s always the thing with me, though,” he says. “Even when I know for a fact people love me - it doesn’t always feel that way. And I thought - well, Anti, he just… with his power, it’s like he can make me feel that way. Or maybe it’s just him. But those days when I would just spend all my time praying to impress him… and then he would brush his hand across my hair or smile at me… it would be my favorite part of the week. Like I finally got it all right. Like I’m finally worthwhile.”

He puts his head down again, looking at the carpet, his fringe falling into his eyes. It occurs to him that he doesn’t really like bright green. Or dying yellow.

“I love him,” he says, a little hollowly. “But I think maybe Dok was always right. Nobody else can magically fix me. I need to stop expecting Anti to put everything right in my head. That’s not fair to either of us. I should have been happier just being with Dok. Cause Anti gave me these bursts of joy, yeah, and he’s trying to be better to me these days - but Dok has been the earth beneath my feet for months now.”

He stares at the food in the drawer, rotting. He tugs uselessly on the door handle. He stares around the silent, empty room, and the silence stares back, and says nothing.

“I shouldn’t have been jealous of my little brother,” says Trick, heart sinking. “I should have been making sure he had ground to stand on too.”

Anonymous asked: yeah, i get that, trick. and i think anti does love you, as much as he can love someone anyway. although, trick, you don't have to answer this now, and if you don't want to talk about this right now i'll stop, but trick? if given a choice between dok and anti, who would you choose?

“Oh, hey,” protests Trick, a little weakly. “That’s family both, we don’t talk like that. Hey, it’s okay to love people in different ways, and I know you don’t like Anti. But the truth is that just because I’m closer to Dok, I would never ‘choose him’ over any of the others. We all gotta just love each other in the way we need. I want to do what’s best for all of them. If… if Dok and Red and Blue need some space from Anti, well… maybe they should have some. But even if I lived with some of them instead of the others, it’s not because I’m trying to pick someone as my favorite. We just all need different things at different times. Whoever needs me most is who I ‘choose.’ Whoever I can help. And I hope it’s always… all of them, you know? When you’re a family, helping one person is good for everyone.”

Anonymous asked: It's easy to fall into a "grass is greener" mentality but abuse is abuse no matter if you're crouched by a window with a gun, locked away in an attic, or running through the streets with stolen drugs. I don't blame you for wanting a higher standing with Anti but he's not going to give you what you want, to no failing of your own.

“Ha! Okay, fair… maybe being in the basement and being in the attic both kind of suck. But I’ve always had Dok. Having someone there with you is what makes it not sucky. Look, this house is fucking awesome! But there’s no one here with me right now. And that does kind of suck, even worse than when Dok and I were sleeping in the same pile of cheap blankets beside a window in a broken down cabin during a Norwegian fall. We had a good time in Norway, didn’t we? Before everything went wrong? Do you remember… we got fish in a restaurant in town, ha… and I got my crinkle paper…”

Trick pulls it out of the pocket of his basketball shorts and presses his fingers to the crinkly baby paper, familiar and fond. He smiles while his eyes grieve.

Anonymous asked: Those sound like fair conclusions, Trick. It sounds like you've been thinking a lot about yourself and how you've interacted with your family in the past. That's really good; well done. For what it's worth, I am really sorry you got left here alone. You don't deserve that. Are you sure you don't want help leaving, or looking for something else to do?

“Aww, you guys are like my therapists now,” laughs Trick, genuinely pleased. “That’s sweet, thanks. No, um… I’ll stay here a while, I guess. Think Dap would mind me looking through his sketchbooks? Maybe I’ll draw a little myself. Or… write, maybe. Yeah. Maybe I’ll write a little.”

Anonymous asked: trick, that's admirable. and i do mean that. you have a lot of loyalty. but trick, it's not just that they need some space from anti. anti has hurt them, time and time again. family doesn't hurt each other like that, trick. anti has gone too far, many, many times.

“I am loyal,” he agrees quickly, because that’s something he’s always known and one of the few things he’s almost always liked about himself. “Yes. Mh.”

He pulls his eyes away from the rest of the message uncertainly, fiddling with his hands as he sits down on Anti’s bed and pulls Dapper’s latest sketchbook off the bedside drawer. He’s grinning for a minute. They’re mostly pictures of animals. Some people scattered in there - dancers and babies and old people in love. Dapper’s good and he’s gotten even better since the last time Trick checked in on his art, which was… how long ago?

But there are other things in the pages too.

Faces that almost hurt from how familiar and yet unrecognizable they are. Images Trick recognizes from Dapper’s hallucinations, painful and threatening. One baby that is not like the rest in a way Trick can’t express. And… himself?

Himself burning?

Trick takes a moment to realize what this is. The night he got the burn that now laces from his palm to the back of his hand. He hadn’t realized Dapper remembered, or was even there, watching, as it happened.

In the image, a dark figure shoves him towards the fire. His shirt sleeve is already ablaze, his hand consumed, and yet - despite the fire, despite the pain, his eyes are like those of a monk in Mass, wide, adoring, tear-filled - and those eyes are fixed on the creature pulling him into the flame.

Trick shoves the sketchbook away from him, squeezing his eyes shut.

“I don’t want to talk about this right now,” he croaks, turning his face away from you. “Later. Okay? Later, I promise, just… not right now.”

It is the second time he has pushed your concerns aside in as many nights. There are messages waiting for him that he’s avoiding. But he still isn’t ready to hear it.

Anonymous asked: okay. that's okay, trick. do you wanna talk about something else, then? i can tell you a funny thing one of my birds did, if you'd like.

“Ha. Birds, wow, that’s awesome. Yeah, sure! Tell me.”

Anonymous asked: alright! so, my sister has an obvious favorite, and the bird knows it, and likes to hang out on people's shoulders and stuff. and today, she flew up onto my arm, and then stared at me face very curiously, and so i started talking to her, and she immediately tried to eat my teeth. very smart bird, who apparently does not quite get what is or is not food. she's very funny.

Trick snorts and covers his mouth with his hand. “Oh, no! I do not like the sensation I am imagining. A beak picking at my teeth, haha. Geez. Sounds like a funny bird. Noodle likes to try to eat toes when we move at night.”

Anonymous asked: oh, yeah, my friend's cats are kinda like that too. for a while, when they were kittens, we had to be careful because they would try to attack our feet. is noodle chaotic like that?

“Half the time he is nuts-o crazy boy, and then half the time he pretends he’s a perfect angel and he just wants all of Daddy’s attention and all of Uncle’s attention and everybody’s attention one hundred percent of the time. And he looks up at you and cries until you scratch him.”

Anonymous asked: oooo, do you write, trick?

“Well, I thought since I’m sure jabbering your guys’ ears off, I could write some shit down. Dok had me do that for a while once. It was right after… well, there’s blurry spots in my memory. It was right after I started being his twin. I was pretty low. I was, um. Self-harming a lot. Losing a lot of my memories. So he recommended I write stuff down. Whatever I was feeling. And he said even he wouldn’t read it, he promised. We were in this kind of warehouse place at the time, and there was nowhere to sleep. Not a lot of privacy except my pieces of paper. They’re gone now. But I think they kept me focused on something, at the time.”

He holds Dapper’s pencil in his hand, taking a loose sheet of paper. But his eyes get fixed on the stretched out sketchbook on the floor once again. He looks away from the image of himself with a grimace.

That night - that look on his face - that wasn’t what he remembers. Not exactly.

Want to know a secret? he writes.

He has scrawling, beautiful, messy handwriting.

I was pissed at you that night. You left me and Dok to freeze. I don’t even think I started that fire because I was trying to keep Dok warm.

He pauses, squeezing his eyes shut. Bites on his lip. Puts his pencil back down.

I wanted to make you angry. I wanted there to be a confrontation. I was angry at you. But I didn’t know how to tell you because you didn’t care about me back then and that was what burned, more than this goddamn scar on my hand. I wanted to hurt you for hurting me. But all you did was hurt me worse. You act like you want things to be good between us now but we’ve never even talked about

He stops and sighs and scowls before crumpling the paper up, scratching at his scalp.

“Forget it,” he mumbles. “Not that. Just…”

Noodle mewls at the door, beginning to get bored with his jerky. Trick smiles softly and chuckles, turning away.

When you were a kitten your body was like a slinky and I could feel every one of your bones. Hot little spine rubbing against my wide palms. Big fuzzy leaf ears. When you were a kitten you made a weight beneath my throat and when I breathed I would feel the tiny thump of your heart. You are the memory of someone I lost.

And Trick is stopped again, closing his eyes again, turning away again.

“Maybe I’ll just go get a hot bath. Relax a while. I’m okay. Poor kitty cat. Don’t be lonely, okay, baby boy? I’ll be back in a while.”

Anonymous asked: Keep your head high and your standards higher, Trick.

“My standards for this rich guy’s bath are high as fuck right now,” he says, slinging a towel over his shoulder. “Motherfucker got bath bombs and everything. This better be some Spirited Away experience or I’m out. Minus the evil lady, though. Just the big steamy bath and the nostalgia, please. Hey, keep an eye on my kitty for me, yeah? You’re still in the cameras all over the house? I’ll be out in a little while. Maybe a long while. Thanks, guys. Uh. For real.”

Anonymous asked: I'm sure noodle is going to be okay, Trick. If you're worried about him just stay near the door and he should be fine óvò You might want to try to slip him something to eat tho, I have no idea when was the last time anyone could've fed that kitty

Trick slips him one more piece of jerky and lets him chew on his finger for a moment before he slips into the bathroom. Noodle has his snack happily outside the door, and then, deprived of Trick’s presence, he goes exploring.

Trick has made toys for him out of anything he could find. He plays with string and a ball that makes a jangling sound. He zips around the house for a while. He searches for Trick and Dok, or anybody to give him some attention.

Usually they’re down in the basement. Usually they all stay down in the basement, Noodle himself shut in most of the day to avoid Anti, though he’s perfectly content to stay down there with everything he needs. But today, he gets to explore. The door was opened while Dark’s soldiers searched the house and he’s free to roam. It’s a little exciting.

He’s okay. For now, he’s okay. Trick has fed him and there’s a little water still in his bowl by the door. He’s okay.

But Trick was too hot in his bed for a reason. And he’s right - the windows do open.

Noodle gets tired of the basement. Noodle gets tired of his toys. Noodle wants to see Trick and the others.

He explores. The fresh breeze and the smell of the trees - the movement of the grass and the warmth of the sun - the song of the birds, the scurrying of mice, the cool water of the pool - they call to him.

He has not been outside since he was too small for anything but milk. Not until today.

He slips out through the window of Red and Blue’s room, and he explores.

Anonymous asked: hey, shep? dapper's brother has a golden cat, who we just saw leave, but he's away from the cameras at the moment so we can't tell him about it yet. could you and the others keep an eye out for the cat? his name is noodle, although i don't know if he knows it or not.

Shep hears the beeping in his pocket and pulls the camera out immediately.

“Shep! Come on, throw it in!”

“Just a second!”

His eyes scan your message and brighten, a hint of gold from the sun lighting up the brown curve of his irises. He feigns disinterest for a moment, pausing to kick a soccer ball back towards someone on the lawn. You can hear a dog barking and voices chatting. The sun is overhead. It’s a beautiful day.

“Would that make you happy?” asks Shep. “If I found the cat for you?”

He looks up at the forest.

Outside of the sunlight, Darkness reigns in more ways than one. The trees are thick and tall and heavy, shrouding the earth in a loving chill. Animals scamper across the dirt and lean plants curl up from the ground and latch onto the broad backs of trees, clinging to damp red wood. And for miles - for miles - it stretches on before him.

“Okay, then,” he says. “I will.”

Anonymous asked: it would help. thank you, shep. anti doesn't like animals, so i wouldn't recommend bringing the cat back to the house they're in, but you can bring it here and we'll tell the brother about it.

“I’ll start looking right now,” he says. “It’s a big forest. But I can do it.”

Anonymous asked: sleeby jj...Soff sleeby bean.. get well soon

His eyes slide open to your familiar light.

He stares at you for a second, his eyes heavy with shadowed circles.

Then he registers the message and manages to roll his eyes for the first time in days, huffing out a bit of a sigh.

“Not a bean.”

It’s only as he signs it that he realizes he’s no longer restrained.

He sits up slowly, pressing his palm to his forehead and grimacing. He doesn’t feel well at all. His stomach swims with nausea and he can feel his blood chugging sluggishly through his veins. But it’s better than the last few days.

He glances around the room, blinking slowly. He’s alone and there’s light streaming in through the barred window.

Alright. He’s had his nap. Time to start trying to escape.

Anonymous asked: Jj, think about this first. Anti is already coming for you, and if you try to escape you'll be in miles and miles of unknown forest, with no haldol, no medication for your fever, and no way to be sure you can get home. At least maybe wait until you've gotten over the infection and until you can steal some haldol to have with you? Just trying to analyze the situation fully before action is taken.

“I am not going to sit quietly while the monster who has haunted my nightmares - well, one of them - keeps me prisoner. I only do that for Anti. Come on, don’t be boring! Help me get out, yeah?”

He struggles to his feet, but as soon as he’s found a moment of balance he loses it again, tumbling into the wall and holding himself there on shaking arms and legs. He swallows thickly and turns towards the windows, yanking on the bars with his good hand. The other one is swaddled so thickly in bandages he can barely feel it, but at least his fingers stick out to let him speak most words.

That being said, he has about four good yanks on those bars before his head is swimming. He slumps against the wall, clinging to the metal. His whole body aches.

“Maybe you have a point,” he admits sullenly, rubbing at his face.

Anonymous asked: Haha, sorry Jay, not trying to be boring! I just want to make sure you've got a second voice to help think clearly. Look around you maybe? See any spare haldol or fever medication you can swipe and save up for when you do the grand escape?

“Thank you,” says JJ, grinning slowly, though nothing quite makes it to his eyes. “Okay, let me look. I think I must have something in me now because my psychosis is a lot less intense right now.”

He glances around the room. He isn’t hallucinating and his thinking is much clearer, but his expressions are still dulled, his face is twitching, and he isn’t sure what’s true and what’s not. He needs rest and a lot less stress.

He checks the drawers, but everything’s locked up.

nikkilbook asked: JJ, remind me again why Dark frightens you so much? I’m sorry, but I can’t remember clearly. He doesn’t remember any of you either. He showed up that first time because he didn’t know why Anti was trespassing in his territory.

Dapper looks over at you.

He turns away for a second, chewing on his nail. Shrugs. Sits down on the bed.

“Not a fun time,” he signs eventually.

scunneredzombie asked: Rest up, if you can, JJ! I'm almost completely certain you'll be safe here. Darkness won't hurt you because they want you healthy enough to talk to them. You need rest and to let your haldol take effect.

“Dark can do a lot worse things than hurting anybody,” he answers. “It’s the talking to them that’s more likely to fuck me up than anything. And I never want to see them again. Tell them to leave me alone! Where’s my big brothers? Are they coming to get me yet?”

Anonymous asked: How are you feeling, JJ? Still burning up?

“I actually feel quite cold.” He hugs his arms around his sunken chest, staring around the room. His lips are chapped to blood and his face is the color of bleach. He doesn’t look well.

“This is miserable,” he admits, his signs soft. “I remember when I was created I always had energy and felt strong and healthy most of the time, even when I got hurt. I bounced back. The last few months, I’m just… every day I’m sicker. My bones break and I catch every cold and infection. Keep have psychotic episodes. Don’t sleep well.”

He realizes he’s just complaining and makes himself stop, digging his nails into his palms. Won’t help anything. He needs to get out.

He creeps to the door and takes the handle in his hand.

“Going somewhere?”

He turns, spitting, back to his bed, the hair on the back of his neck standing up like an angry cat’s as he snatches a pen off the nearest counter for self-defense.

Wilford nods patiently, following his movements as he swings his legs on the side of the little clinic bed. “Very good, very good.”

“You stay away from me.”

“Oh, my dear, forgive me, I don’t understand a word of that. Shall I get you paper?”

Dapper steps away from him, watching him with glittering eyes. After a moment, he nods.

Wilford pulls a pad of paper out from behind his back as though it had been there all along and sets it on the bed beside himself, smiling.

“What are you so frightened of, young man? Come on, then, calm down.”

Anonymous asked: Are you wearing your dress-shoes? The heel might be good for smashing the locks off the drawers! Though you'd have to be uh... as quiet as smashing can be haha.

JJ looks down at his bare feet. He scowls. Just like the day he was created.

But Wilford has boots on. “Give me those,” he demands.

Wilford doesn’t speak sign language, but he gets the gesture. “Sure,” he says, tugging a boot off and tossing it to him.

Dapper slams a desk drawer handle remorselessly. A loud clang signals the death of the handle as it flies to the ground. Dapper yanks the drawer open.

“Ippy says you’re all sorts of unhealthy,” says Wilford cheerfully, still kicking his legs, halfway bootless now. “Do you feel better today? He said you have so little Vitamin D he could probably break your bones with a pillowcase. You need some sun, dear boy!”

Dapper searches through the drawer, but there’s nothing but cotton swabs, gloves, tongue depressors and everything boring. He raises the boot and smashes another dresser handle, a little breathless.

scunneredzombie asked: Anti is trying to find you right now, I'm pretty sure. I understand not wanting to see them, they're frankly a terrifying jedi-powers 3D glasses fender-bender in you all's life. You'll be home soon, JJ. But you need rest right now, you could end up hurting yourself if you're in a bad mindset or not with the proper medication. I know being careful is no fun, but right now it seems like the best option. I know this sounds fucked, but trust Anti to find you. Like he'd give you up that easily, ha,,

“You don’t want to see Dark?” asks Wilford, finally sounding genuinely wounded. “Oh…”

“You stop,” signs JJ fiercely, whirling on him. “You’re lucky you’re out of your mind or I’d call you a creep for staying around that horrible - that horrible - thing. Whatever. Leave me alone. You’re a killer just like them.”

“I think your camera’s right. You ought to sit. You don’t look very well.”

Dapper glares, panting a little. He glances around the room again, a sense of despair shuddering its way over him. Always locked in his room. Always locked in his room. Always locked in his room. He grips at his hair, breathing through his teeth.

“Hey,” says Wilford. “It’s okay. Can you hear me at all? Do I need to be writing things down too? My handwriting is very good. Would you like some water?”

He clears his dry throat, his eyes flickering over to Wilford. Actually, he would. He’s parched.

Wilford nods and gets up. He disappears for a second and returns with a glass of water. JJ takes it from him with shaking hands, sinking down onto the bed.

Anonymous asked: Hey Wilford, you're not... planning on hurting JJ, are you? You don't seems like you have any intention of it but knowing you we can never be too wary >_>

“Excuse me!” Wilford waggles his finger indignantly, making a noise like pshaw! again and again. “I have never hurt a living soul in my life. Wouldn’t hurt a fly. I’m a pacifist, actually. Excepting that door-to-door salesman who would NOT stop coming by…”

Dapper hisses out a breath, pressing at his forehead, feeling faint again. He scoops up Wilford’s pad of paper and sets Ippy’s pen to it. “You really have no idea what’s going on, do you?” he scrawls out in a bitter, looping cursive.

“Do you?” spits back Wilford just as quick, a little fire flashing through his eyes.

Dapper sinks in on himself, exhaling. “No,” he writes. “Not ever.”

Wilford eases again, grinning his nonchalant, slightly dazed grin.

“Why’d you come in here?” writes Dapper.

“To see you,” answers Wilford eagerly, clapping his hands together. “Finally, a new ego with a real aesthetic!”

“I’m not a new ego, Wil. Look, I don’t look like you.”

“No, you’re not like me - well, like him,” insists Wilford, undaunted. “You’re one of the boys that runs around with him sometimes. He can create things too, that’s alright. You can still stay here.”

Dapper softens a little, quirking his eyebrows. “You’ve met Jack?”

“Seen him! They made a lot of videos together for a while, do you remember? Every day!”

JJ laughs, shaking his head. “You’re thinking of Ethan.”

“No, who? Noooo. The brown-haired one. Loud? Bouncy?”

“They’re both - ” JJ cuts himself off, laughing into his hands. “Never mind.”

“I don’t have my glasses on.”

“Apparently.”

Anonymous asked: Hey JJ, did you and Wil knew each other before the whole timeline mess?

“No, not really,” JJ signs to you gently. “I’ve never really had anyone outside of Anti.”

“Are you mute?” asks Wilford politely. “What’s wrong with your voice?”

“I’ve never been able to talk,” he writes out. “Don’t worry about it. I won’t be able to stay for long.”

“Oh,” says Wilford, face falling. “Oh, I thought that was why you came.”

“You took me from my house. Do you remember?”

“No… you’re thinking of one of the others, I think?”

Dapper lets out a sigh and smiles. “Never mind. Just - ”

It’s then that Edward enters the room.

Dapper stiffens, rubbing his shoulders and staring down at the floor. Ippy looks relieved, stepping carefully into the room, as though approaching an animal caught in a fence.

“Hi,” he breathes. “Feeling any better?”

JJ looks away, uncomfortable.

Anonymous asked: Hey Dap? I just wanted to let you know that it's ok to be experiencing symptoms right now. You're under so, so much stress, your body must be having hell and two pence. It's ok if you feel apathy, have a hard time with facial expression, hallucinating. You will be okay. You will get out soon, and you will have time to de-stress, you will see your brothers again soon. Know even through the fear, everything will be okay. You were made for happy endings.

“Do you have symptoms like these often?” asks Ippy.

Dapper plays with the edge of his paper, unsmiling.

“Your, uh… friends? Said you had a psychotic disorder. When was the last time you saw a clinician about that? Seems like you’ve been on Haldol a pretty long time.”

Dapper draws circles on his pad, not looking up.

Ippy sits down in one of those backless chairs that doctors roll around their offices in. “Are you aware that you have a Vitamin D deficiency? Serious enough to be impacting your bone strength?”

Dapper glances at Wilford but doesn’t answer.

“Broken rib… infected wrist… some pretty serious scarring…”

Dapper leans down to write something. Ippy waits patiently. Dapper turns the paper around and he’s written “stop talking to me” across the whole page. Ippy rolls his chair away and lets out a grumble beneath his breath, getting up to -

“Hey! Who broke my drawers!”

Wilford and JJ exchange glances.

“Probably the dog,” answers Wilford wisely, and it almost, almost makes JJ smile.

It’s okay. He’s okay. It’s okay for him to be psychotic. He’s just got to get through it, like he always does. It’s okay to struggle.

Anonymous asked: Hey now! Let the doctor take care of you, bud. You deserve some proper medical attention, you deserve some healing after everything you've been through.

“That’s not my doctor,” signs JJ bitterly, glaring Ippy down as best he can, though he mostly ends up looking like he’s squinting. “Give me back to my brother.”

“Five questions,” asks Ippy. “Yeah? Then I’ll give you some space.”

“One question.” He holds up a finger.

Ippy holds up three.

Dapper turns his head away. Tries to glare again. Nods. Fine.

“When was the last time you saw a psychiatrist?”

He’s never seen a psychiatrist. That’s why they mostly just call it a psychotic disorder. Schneep says it’s probably schizophrenia, but he’s a surgeon. Until Anti stole Dok, he would just tell Dapper that Jack fucked his head up as bad as his voice.

“I don’t have a psychiatrist,” says Dapper. “The Haldol is fine. It manages most everything.”

“Most of the positive symptoms, I bet,” says Ippy. “And even if antipsychotics are helpful, they still need to be adjusted sometimes, and you should probably be seeing a therapist for behavioral therapy.”

“What’s positive about psychosis?” asks Wilford. “Is that like the fun kind of psychosis? A little LSD, anybody?”

“Wilford,” sighs Ippy. “Positive means something added. So things like hallucinations, delusions, hyperactivity, disordered thinking - those are positive symptoms. Most antipsychotics work best for those. But there are negative symptoms too - depressed mood. Flattened expressions. Lack of enjoyment or pleasure. Feelings of hopelessness.”

Dapper stares at the floor. After a moment, he writes “question two” pointedly.

“Why do you look like Mark’s friend?”

“It’s exactly what you think it is. Don’t waste either of our time.”

“Dark says Jack doesn’t have videos with you or any of the others.”

“Is that a question?”

“No, grumbles Ippy, rubbing at his forehead. “Forget it. Who gave you all your scars?”

Dapper’s eyes flicker. He glances away. “Self-harm,” he writes.

“Liar,” answers Ippy evenly. “They go all the way to your back.”

Dapper hisses, tucking his pad up against his chest for a second. He lets out a breath of air, shaking his head.

Anonymous asked: His ribs are broken because his "big brother" nearly beat him to death then left him sitting in filth for hours until he passed out. He's deficient in vitamin D because he spends his entire life locked inside one room and that same brother almost never lets him out. He's scarred from year of torture and abuse. Let's just say he doesn't have the easiest home life.

Ippy sits back, setting his clipboard aside.

Dapper closes his eyes. He doesn’t want to think. He doesn’t feel well.

“Please just leave me alone,” he writes. “There. You got your answer. My brother did all of it. Go away.”

Ippy gets up. He takes Dapper’s bear off the bedside table and hands it carefully over to him. Dapper swallows and accepts it, pulling the familiar warmth and texture and smell to his chest. It’s grounding.

“Want to come sit in the sun for a while?” asks Ippy.

Dapper looks up at him, eyes wide. Ippy waits.

Dapper sighs and shakes his head, curling up against the wall. Even if he wanted to accept anybody’s niceness right now, he’s too tired.

“Okay,” says Ippy. “You don’t have to. But you should know - now that you’re awake and talking - ”

“No,” Dapper is already writing, the pen shaking in his grip.

“They just want to talk. That’s all. They won’t - ”

“Tell Dark to stay away from me,” writes Dapper frantically, tears budding in his eyes. He underlines it. Again and again.

Tell

Dark

To

Stay

Away

Ippy gets to his feet wearily. He unlocks one of his drawers and sets a Haldol and a Vitamin D tablet out on the dresser beside Dapper.

“Get a little sleep,” he says. “You’ll feel better.”

“I want Dok,” writes Dapper. “Please.”

Ippy is already shutting the door behind him.

nikkilbook asked: Edward, do you have any contacts in the city that work with homeless shelters or other kinds of emergency housing? I think that’s where three of his brothers are.

Edward’s eyebrows raise. “Oh? Sure, there’s some shelters. I usually refer them to LAAG. Sets you up in a hotel for a month or two if you’re out of somewhere to stay. Mostly for moms with kids, though. There’s some men’s and women’s shelters in town. Lot of homeless people out here, unfortunately. Hey, Gigi.”

“What?”

“What’s the closest homeless shelter?”

“Are they finally kicking you out of that pigsty you call an apartment? The closest homeless shelter is Missionaries of Charity Relief Services, 23.6 miles away. There is an adjoining soup kitchen.”

“There you go.”

nikkilbook asked: Could you send someone (non/less threatening, if possible?) to ask after them, see if they’d be willing to come and help you with JJ? Though one of them, Marvin, is hurt really bad as well because of some messed up dark magic crap that Anti thought was a good idea. Schneep, the doctor that JJ keeps referring to, is doing his best, but he’s technically a surgeon with holes in his memory.

“Excuse me,” Google cuts you both off, stepping forward. “You have to run decisions like that past Dark.”

“Then ask Dark,” answers Ippy mildly. “I’m sure they’d love to worm their way into somebody else’s heart. They wanted that other kid that was there, right? Bet they’d be happy with you if you brought the other three back to them.”

“You think you’re very clever.”

“But I got you thinking about it, didn’t I?”

Google glares at him.

Then his composure breaks, just the smallest bit, and you see a smile on the edges of his mouth. Ippy laughs and trails past him towards the kitchen. “Come on, you goddamn sycophant. It’s curry night. You can help me make it.”

“I’m not your maid,” says Gigi stubbornly.

But he follows right after him into the kitchen.

Anonymous asked: Does seeing outsiders reaction help you realize it JJ? How horrible Anti really is to you? You're dying, Dapper. You might be dead if you hadn't gotten medical treatment. You have all the scars because of his actions. All of your pain was caused by him. You have a psychotic disorder and he's never /once/ taken you to a psychiatrist. If he was your brother, if he loved you beyond being his pet, he would have at least taken you to therapy. Can you see the damage he's done, Dap?

“Save the realization tactics for my brothers, my friend,” JJ signs quietly. “I’ve always known exactly what Anti is. I used to stay because I was scared of what he’d do to me if I tried to get away. Now I just know there’s no escaping. Not for me.”

And that is when the light from the sun flickers and dies.

Dapper closes his eyes. He knows. Right away, without pausing.

“Dark,” you see his mouth move.

“Feeling… hopeless?” asks a voice that echoes. “I can help with that.”

“No,” says Dapper. “No, you can’t.”

And he gets to his shaking feet.

Anonymous asked: They made a deal JJ. This is the last time. If you don't allow yourself to escape, allow yourself freedom and family, true family, love... Then I fear you'll be stuck with him forever. Let yourself escape. Let Jameson Jackson live. Let your soul breathe again.

JJ holds the camera close to his chest, sinking down beside his bed as his legs give out on him. It makes Dark tower over him. He closes his eyes.

Family, true family - what he wouldn’t give for them to be here right now. And it’s odd to him because most often, when he wishes for family, he wishes Anti were here to protect him.

Today, he doesn’t wish for Anti at all. Even if Anti would protect him from Dark, it doesn’t matter. He wants… fuck, he just wants Red and Blue and Dok and even Trick, because every one of them, he has begun to realize, would take care of him if they ever had the chance to. Blue would be shouting at Dark to back off, Red would already be on the attack, Dok would be making him feel better, and Trick, he thinks, would just be wrapped around him, holding him, just like he did when Gigi and Shep came to take him away.

Maybe he wasn’t stuck up in the attic or in the backroom or in Anti’s bed because everyone else hated him or didn’t want him around. Maybe it was always just Anti’s barriers.

“How interesting the pair of you are,” Dark says, looking down at JJ with your viewpoint in his hands. “To know him intimately… to speak with him. Even when I talk to you, it’s always me on the one side of the camera, and you never able to answer… Mark sees to that. How interesting, though, to be the ones to tell him he’s loved.”

Dapper takes the writing pad in his trembling hands. “What do you want?” he writes.

Dark leans down, too close to him. “I told you. Let’s talk. I want to know everything about that monster you live with - and just how I can get rid of him.”

Dapper creeps along the wall away from Dark, shaking his head minutely. He and Anti have their struggles, but he doesn’t sell his brother out, and especially not to Dark.

“Come on, little one. What are you so scared of? My soldiers have all seen the markings all up and down you. Wouldn’t you rather let me extract a little vengeance for you?”

“Not little,” writes Dapper. “What do you want with Anti? Why kill him?”

Dark cocks their head coolly, eyes flashing red and blue.

“If you don’t remember him, there’s no reason to be angry.”

Dark doesn’t answer. Dark never answers if they don’t have to. They don’t give up information, period.

“I hope you know I hate your guts,” says JJ.

And then Dark’s hand is on his throat.

JJ wheezes in alarm, grabbing Dark’s arm as the room seems to flood with a darkness so thick it seems to shove at his bones like a fist or a car collision. He kicks his legs desperately and, for a moment, manages a shrill whistle of alarm - and then Dark makes him still.

The calm is like an infusion of something, settling into his lungs and chest and softening his violent terror into a whimpering fear. Dark drags him back to his bed and throws him onto the mattress. And Dapper, shaking and petrified with a weepy, muted alarm, curls his body into a roly-poly and hugs his bear to his chest, staring up at Dark with huge, watering eyes, because the times when he acts childish and too cute to hurt have never been anything more than a fear response.

“There you go,” says Dark, sitting down in the chair beside the bed and leaning back, their eyes closing for a moment from the strain it puts on their spine. Anti’s attack has left them physically shaken and weak, the pain haunting them through waking and dreams. For that, they will have revenge - and for the way that the thought of Anti has haunted them for more than a week now. “Be good now and tell me how you know me.”

“My brother brought me to you some years back to reset me even better than he can alone,” writes Dapper shakily. “He manipulates thoughts and he can possess people. You manipulate souls and emotions. I woke up a different person. Since then I feel like I have a different personality every day. You and Anti took who I was from me.”

Dark shakes their head faintly, squinting for a moment. They glance at Dapper, at his eyes, at his chest. They don’t say anything.

“Please don’t hurt me anymore,” writes Dapper.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” says Dark gently, and they try to make it feel, in Dapper’s heart, that this is true, but all he does is close his eyes and hide.

Anonymous asked: hey, jamie, dapper, my dear. i know you've been hurt by dark before, and i'm not saying you have to forgive them, or trust them, or anything. but can you try to trust us, when we tell you that you are safe? i wouldn't say that lightly, dap. but right now, you are safe. deep breaths. we're here to help you.

“There, that’s right,” agrees Dark quietly. “Don’t be scared.”

Dapper shudders under another wave of their power. Affection and faith well up in his chest, and this feeling, at least, has an anchor of truth in his head, a foundation it can stand on. Yes, he remembers the days when you have kept him company, the days when you have warned him of danger or convinced Anti to leave him alone. He remembers Trick and Dok taking him for fish and chips, presents you picked out for him, and the beeping of the camera on so many of the nights in the past seven months where he would have been completely alone without you.

He sucks in a deep breath, closing his eyes.

“If I met you and your brother,” says Dark. “Why don’t I remember?”

“You are a creature manipulated by the stories your creator tells,” writes Dapper slowly.

“Mark did this?”

“No. Another storyteller. My creator gave me his power of manipulating stories. Last year I changed things without meaning to. There are inconsistencies now - people who remember things that never happened in this timeline, and people who have forgotten things that happened to them in another life. And then there are things like you, somewhere in the middle - torn between memory and loss.”

Dark’s eyes narrow, smoke curling off their shoulders.

“I know you don’t remember Anti,” writes Dapper. “But at the same time, you do.”

“Enough,” says Dark. “Quiet. Let me think.”

Deep black eyes pierce into JJ like a scalpel. He stares up at the light, trying to breathe.

“The truth is you know nothing of what’s happening around you,” Dark murmurs.“You’re delusional and ill. You remember things that haven’t happened because you have a disorder.”

“No,” signs JJ, shaking his head. “No.”

He does have delusions sometimes, very intense ones. But he won’t let Dark tell him that he doesn’t know his own power - the piece of himself that Jack gave him.

“Look at you.” Dark shakes their head, eyes glittering, and smoke curls around them like creeping cats wandering through the air. “The moment you’re away from him, you crash, is that it?”

Dapper closes his eyes, turned up to the lights.

Dark hums and gets to their feet, drawing out wine and glasses as though from the shadows themselves. They pour two cups of rich, black wine and press a cool cup into his hands. Dapper’s fingers wrap around the glass slowly, his eyes blank.

“Why did you become psychotic the moment you were away from him?”

His gaze flickers up to Dark’s. He doesn’t answer.

“Of course,” mutters Dark, backing away and sitting down in their chair. “You live with a mind manipulator. I bet he makes the voices quiet, doesn’t he?”

Dapper’s mouth parts, a gleam of something hard appearing for moment in his eyes before shifting away again, leaving him tired and only vaguely annoyed.

“Admit it,” says Dark. “You rely on him. Don’t you? You wouldn’t last on your own, not without him. The medication manages some of it and he manages the rest. When he’s away, you can barely survive. You need him – desperately.”

You can hear Dapper breathing now. His eyes are fixed on the light above. He holds his wine too tightly in his fingers.

“And he tells you so,” adds Dark slowly, staring at Dapper’s face. They tilt back their wine and they drink. “Doesn’t he? Constantly, I would guess. You and him both know that you need him – and he loves it.”

Dapper doesn’t have anything to say to them. He wants to be far away. He hates them.

“It must be difficult to be both – ”

“Don’t even fucking start with me, jackass, as if you know anything about what it’s like to be mute and psychotic and abused by the person I love most in the world, as if you’re not the one who fucking triggered my schizophrenia, as if you know anything about my life or what I’ve done to – ”

“Calm down,” says Dark gently, and Dapper feels a rush of unnatural calm flood over him. For a second of raw terror, he is completely aware that he’s being forced to feel something he doesn’t really feel, and then, the next moment, he is slumped back in his chair, letting out a low sigh of relief.

“I can’t understand sign language, so you’ll have to write for me,” says Dark. “We can have a calm conversation if you stay level-headed instead of getting so out of control. I’ll forgive you because of your fever.”

Dapper reaches dazedly for the writing pad, trying to keep his thoughts straight. This is happening again. He’s losing himself again.

“You talk about my brother controlling me and then shove your way into my chest yourself,” he manages, his handwriting scrawling and small. “Just tell me what you want from me or let me go home.”

Dark drinks from their glass again, never breaking eye contact.“What do you think I want?”

“I think,” Dapper scrawls. “That you don’t have a fucking clue what’s going on.”

It is Dark’s turn for their eyes to gain a hardness. Something glitters in black irises.

“And you hate that, don’t you, Darkness? More than anything. More than anything.”

Dark does not answer.

“You want to know how to kill Anti because you remember him,” writes Dapper. “The fragments of the memory of him haunts you because you hate not knowing and you hate being confused, and the thought that I somehow changed your story is second in bitterness only to the knowledge that Mark has already told it for you. Of course you don’t want to admit you don’t remember. It means someone else changed you without your permission. Your greatest fear.”

“Watch your words,” warns Dark.

“Anti hated you at first. We would agree that you were a creep, a control freak, an asshole. But you were insistent. How pretty he was, you would say, and how you had finally found someone who matched you in ferocity. After a while, it started to flatter him. He decided he was some sort of exception to you. You would be terrible to everyone else but good to him. He loved that. The thought of being special to someone. His abandonment issues made him look past everything horrible about you.”

“You’re making this up.”

“You taught him to dance,” writes Dapper, his words coming faster and faster beneath his scrawling hands. “Do you remember? Your hands on his waist as he finally trusted you enough to put his head on your shoulder. You would bring him flowers, roses he pretended he didn’t want and then put in a vase by his bed, purring to me about how wrapped around his finger you were. You would go hunting together and let him have the kill because you loved to see him lose his mind with the power and the fun of it all. His sadism was wild any time he was with you. He would come home and hurt me on accident - mostly - because he was so violent and worked up he couldn’t control his energy and his excitement. Do you remember?”

Dark’s eyes are raised to JJ’s now, staring at him, their mouth faintly parted.

“Have you been dreaming, Dark?” asks Dapper. “Killing him won’t make it stop. Speak with him. I don’t think the two of you know what love is, but you loved the time you spent together.”

“You’re sentimental as well as delusional,” answers Dark, tilting back their wine.

“I would listen to me if I were you,” writes Dapper. “Because at this point, Dark, there are outcomes - you cool his fury, or he will kill you.”

Red and blue in Dark’s eyes. Bone through their rotting fingers.

“My brother has taken on power he should never have stolen,” says Dapper. “You can’t beat him with Blue’s power combined with his own. Calm Anti down, Dark - or he will burn down everything you love.”

Dark blinks, revealing, if only for a moment, an unsettled look on their face.

Outside the window, the others are laughing and talking. Dark catches a glance of Wilford’s bubblegum hair and the movement of the enormous dog you spotted earlier. Host’s voice murmurs down to them through the ceiling and someone is cooking in the kitchen, making the house fragrant with garlic and spices.

“Please leave me alone now,” says Dapper.

“One last thing. Is it true that you can time travel?”

“Yes,” Dapper answers. “I know you can feel the power in my chest.”

“I could take it,” says Dark. “If I wanted to. Your power is a part of your soul and that, my darling, is my specialty.”

Dapper flips a page on his pad and writes across the full page:

“It would burn you alive.”

A flicker of a small on Dark’s coy mouth.

“Yes,” they say. “I suppose it would. I’m not as stupid as your brother.”

“Whatever you say,” writes Dapper dryly.

Dark gets to their feet, draining the last of their wine.

“Can I go?” writes Dapper desperately.

“Hm? Oh, no. We’re not finished, doll. Hey.”

Dark reaches out to cluck his chin, but Dapper jerks back, terrified. Dark laughs and takes their hand back, leaving Dapper with a sudden and painfully intense feeling of exhaustion. He crumples against the bed, his eyes flickering shut.

“Get some sleep,” murmurs Dark, turning their back and beginning to disappear back into the shadows. “Hostages are no good to me dead.”

Dapper fades into darkness.

.

Blue wakes up to a hand on his shoulder. “Mh? What is it?”

He hears his twin chuckle softly above him. “You make cat noises when you’re waking up.”

“Mmmhhhh,” protests Blue sleepily, cuddling down deeper into his blankets.

“You can go back to sleep,” Red whispers. “I just wanted you to know I’m heading back to the house for a couple days. Stay here with Dok and I’ll - ”

Blue is awake. He almost flinches out of the sheets, sitting up fast and grabbing Red’s sleeve. “Wait, no. I’m coming with.”

“No, Blue, you need to stay here and rest.”

“I’m feeling much better,” replies Blue, his tone brooking no argument. “And I am NOT going to be miles and miles away while you go back to an Anti who’s no doubt furious. I need to see the others too. I have to make sure they’re okay. That’s my job.”

“I’m coming too,” answers a quiet voice from the doorway - Dok slipping into the room with three cups of hospital coffee.

“Guys, no,” protests Red. “Please. I’d rather you be here. Dok, Anti threatened to kill you.”

Dok shrugs, placing coffee down on the bedside table. He plucks at his necklaces. “We might need these,” he says, picking at each raven talisman in turn. “And I… I need to see Trick.”

“We’re both going, Red,” Blue insists, touching his arm and squeezing reassuringly. “You don’t have to do this alone. We’re here.”

Red smiles weakly at the both of them. “Just… promise me you won’t try anything stupid, okay?”

“Promise,” says Blue.

“I never do,” answers Dok dryly.

The twins laugh quietly at his answer. It does not, however, hide the fear that trembles in Dok’s fingertips and rattles the insides of his chest.

He can do this. He can. He has to.

immabethehero asked: Good luck dudes!

“Thanks,” says Ro, looking up at the house. “Yeah, thanks, we appreciate it.”

Blue and Dok are behind him. He can hear them whispering to each other, but he doesn’t want to interfere. Blue is wrapped around Dok like a vice, rubbing his back as he tries to reassure him, and Dok clings to his necklaces and his sibling and hides.

“Is, um.” Ro stares at the windows and door. “Is Anti really angry? Is he in there right now? I don’t really know what to expect…”

Anonymous asked: uh, trick? i believe noodle has decided to go exploring. outside. i'm going to tell the others, so they can look for noodle too, but i thought you should know.

“Noodle?”

You find Trick kneeling by the door, scratching at the carpet and trying to catch his cat’s attention. Yesterday, he waited patiently for Noodle to come back. Today, four days after Dapper was taken, Trick has only seen Noodle twice, and the light in his eyes has become desperate and frantic.

“Baby!” he hollers, sticking the last piece of jerky under the door. “Come here, sweetie! Daddy’s upstairs. Where are you? No, no, no, he can’t have gone outside. Noodle, come here! He’s never been outside in his life. He’s always been with me. Noodle!”

He wipes at hot tears on his face, back shaking from how long he’s been crouched there. Anti has let him out of the room a couple times, but he’s been with him the whole time, so all he’s done is make himself dinner a couple times or watch a movie with Anti.

He wants things to go back to normal.

“Noodle! Please come here! You’re scaring me!”

Anonymous asked: Dok, what if you feigned that you were "taking off" your necklaces, but quickly clasped the animal one around Anti, then got him weak as you could and used the light? Or perhaps told him the only way to stop their power was for him to wear them, then put the animal one around his neck? Do you think a plan like that would work?

“Yeah, if I can manage that I would like to do this,” says Dok frailly, gripping Blue’s hand so hard it’s beginning to bruise. “Might not be able to trick him, but could maybe act fast and hurt him.”

“Remind me what all of these do,” murmurs Blue, touching his brother’s collarbone.

“This one is light, this one is transformation, and this one keeps Anti out of my head,” Dok whispers. “They said I should give the light one to a warrior.”

Blue glances at Red, pacing his way towards the house. He wants to be the first one inside, to bear the brunt of Anti’s fury. Blue pulls Dok after him, trying to think.

Anonymous asked: Trick has been alone for such a long time, and Anti has been locking him all alone in one room most of the days, he really needs you Dok, needs you to help him fight. As for Anti, he's been in and out of the place, we're not sure what he's doing.

“Anti locked Trick in his room?” asks Red.

“Let’s go,” says Dok, pulling away from Blue and hurrying towards the house.

“Dok! You don’t know if Anti’s in there!”

“He’s already seen us on the cameras from this close,” answers Dok, yanking open the door to the house and moving inside. “If he wants to come after us, he will. There’s nothing we can do about that. Right now, I just want to see Trick. Where is he?”

He runs down into the basement where they’ve been staying, but Trick isn’t there - and neither is Noodle. Dok returns to the ground floor, where Blue and Red are looking through their own room. Blue shuts the window that’s been open for days, making the room hot and airy.

“Where’s kitty?” asks Blue.

“I’m sure he’s just with Trick,” answers Dok. “Right?”

Anonymous asked: Trick is locked up in Anti's bedroom, and Noodle is missing, he escaped outside. Trick's been alone with no one but Anti for this whole time.

Blue and Red exchange wide-eyed looks, Red already pacing towards the door to look around for the cat. Dok races upstairs, feeling more awake than he has in weeks.

“Trick!” he knocks rapidly on the door and shuffling sounds greet him from the other side.

“Anti?”

“Trick, it’s me,” Dok calls.

“Dok!”

The way he calls his name is almost a sob. Dok scrambles with the lock on the door, turning the stiff lock to the right. Trick shoves the door open and meets his eyes.

“Are you okay?” croaks Dok.

“Fine,” whispers Trick, though his hair is limp and dry and his eyes hollowed out. “Are you?”

“Yes. I’m okay. Listen, Trick, I just - ”

Trick crashes into him and hugs him to his chest. They fall back against the wall, pinned together, skulls pressed together and arms wrapped around each other’s ribs.

“You don’t have to explain,” says Trick. “I should have protected you better, so you didn’t have to run away. I’ll be better for you, Dok. I’ll take better care of you.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I should have been someone you could trust.”

“Trick…”

They wrap tighter around each other, rocking each other’s bodies against the wall, safe in each other’s grips.

Anonymous asked: He's here.

Blue is hugging Trick and Dok to himself, babbling at them about how he loves them, about how he missed him, about how happy he is to see him. Trick is relieved to feel less alone for the first time in days. He tells Blue he looks better and that he loves him too.

It’s Red who sees Anti.

He’s leaning against the banister at the bottom of the stairs, staring up at him with cold blue eyes.

Red swallows. Anti doesn’t say anything.

He signs “come here.”

And then he walks away.

Red feels a shudder down his whole body. He glances back at his brothers, celebrating the mini-reunion together, talking about everything that’s happened.

He doesn’t see Dapper. Anti must have him with him.

Red needs to see him.

He swallows once again, clearing his throat this time. He won’t be afraid. He can’t let himself get lost in Anti’s lies again. He sees what he is more clearly than he has in years and now - now he has to protect his brothers from the monsters in the middle of them.

He moves down the stairs after Anti.

Anonymous asked: Uh guys, look out, the big-bad wolf is here

“Big bad wolf…”

Anti turns back to Ro for a moment in the middle of the hall, his eyes burning red.

“That’s me, then, right, Jackie?”

Ro’s blood seems to frost over in his veins. He stops short in the hallway, mouth parted.

Anti narrows his eyes and turns away, leading Ro further down the hall. Red can barely bring himself to follow, but his nerves are tempered by his confusion.

Anti has never called him Jackie before.

“Where’s Dap?” he asks quietly, stepping after Anti.

Anti doesn’t answer. He steps into the office room where you once found Dapper drinking and waits.

Red steps in after him, chewing on his lip.

Anti closes the door behind him and sits down at the desk, propping his feet on the table. He glares at Ro, flipping a knife in his hands.

“You got a deathwish or something,” says Anti.

“No,” Ro manages. “No.”

“Tell me why you went,” Anti snaps.

“You were threatening Dok. Blue was sick. I got scared.”

Anti stares at him, eyes burning with flame.

Anonymous asked: Anti Blue was dying and you were threatening Dok. Don't punish Red for being their protector, that's literally what you make him be. Thanks to his action, neither of them are dead. You have him to thank for the time away you got to think about your temper.

Anti takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second. “Was that all it was?”

“Yes,” says Ro quietly. “I just didn’t want them to get hurt. Anti, you can’t threaten to murder Dok and expect me to - ”

“I can do what I want,” snaps Anti. “What’s your name?”

“What?”

“What’s your fucking name?”

Ro licks his mouth anxiously, glancing around for a second. He wishes Blue were here.

“It’s Red, Anti.”

Anti sighs, shaking his head at him. His posture relaxes slightly, letting his head thump back against the office chair.

Anonymous asked: Dapper isn't with him because Dark's soldiers stole him away. It seems like Anti can't find him.

“What?” asks Ro, incredulous. “Wait, you mean you actually let that monster get their hands on him?”

“You weren’t here!” shouts Anti, glitching to his feet and making Red stumble back. “You were the one I chose to protect them, Red, but you ran away without him or Trick like they meant nothing to you!”

“I thought you would keep them safe!” cries Red.

“I would have been able to if you had been here and I had known about Dark!” Anti snarls back, slamming his hand into the office table, a slight tremor in his palms. “But you and them both turned your backs on me! I can’t trust anyone but myself!”

“You were going to hurt Dok!”

Anti’s palm connects with Red’s face, sending him staggering back. He feels blood rush to the handprint on his cheek and he grips at his face weakly, looking up at Anti with watery eyes.

“You would have been useless if you were here anyway,” growls Anti. “You’re terrified of Dark. Fucking coward boy. And to think, Jack called you a hero.”

Hurt and fury light up in Ro’s chest. He squeezes his eyes tightly shut, straightening his back again and clutching his hands into fists.

“I found Dark today,” says Anti coldly, turning away. “We can get Dapper back. If you help me, maybe I won’t fucking slaughter you for running away like the little bitch you are.”

“I’m not a little bitch,” says Red. “You… you’ve never liked me.”

“Correct,” answers Anti.

Anonymous asked: Jackie's throwing caution to the wind, you're willing to throw everyone's lives to the wind. Even moreso now that this is the last run-through, right?

“If you turn on me like that again,” says Anti. “I’ll kill you like I promised you I would.”

“You expect my loyalty,” says Ro. “But you don’t even like me. You threaten us and hurt us. How do you expect me to stay?”

“You’ll stay because if you don’t I’ll end all five of you,” snarls Anti, Jack’s teeth in his mouth giving way to those of a dog. “What, you think you did a good job, running away from me? Think you saved them from anything? I know you were staying in Ashley Valley Hospital Room 412.”

Ro’s blood is cold.

“I know the fake names you used, I know the food pantry where Dok was getting you food everyday, I know what Blue’s doctors said, I know, I know, I know. You can’t get away from me, Red. You never will. All the more because you’re a spineless, needy moron who can’t think of anything but a man who doesn’t love him anymore and whatever bullshit your mind fixates on on any given day. You’re broken, Red. Same way Jack made Chase and JJ broken. Even when you were Jackie, you were still pathetic.”

“Wonder why Marvin and I were able to beat you to hell, then,” says Ro.

It’s a mistake as soon as he’s said it. It’s a mistake. It was a bad choice. He shouldn’t have said it.

But he doesn’t regret it.

Anti takes a step back towards him, his eyes narrowed like a cat’s.

Jackie takes a step towards him too, fists clenched.

“When I said that you made me forget important things in the past,” he says. “I meant that you made me forget people I loved and the places I come from. But there are other things you made me forget too, Anti. You’re not as untouchable as you’ve always told me you were. And you know what else?”

Anti’s eyes are pupil-less, iris-less, white.

“I think you’re still afraid of me,” he says. “I think that every time you flinch back from a bird at the window, you are flinching away from the memory of just how bad I hurt you the first time you stole my baby brother.”

Anonymous asked: Stand strong, Jackieboy man. You've got a war to fight.

Stand strong. He straightens his back. The others need him.

“Come on, then,” he snaps, taking another step forward. Anti takes a step back. “I can see it in you. That you want to hurt me. It’s a look I’ve gotten used to. That you want to see me begging so you feel less scared.”

“You shut your mouth, Jackie,” says Anti.

“No,” spits Ro, clenching his fists. “No, I won’t. I’m tired of you silencing me. I’m not stupid and I’m not a coward.”

Anti strikes him, harder than the first time. Red backs off, grabbing his face with a gasp. Tears water in his eyes. He straightens up again, seething.

“You’re the fucking coward, Anti,” he croaks out, something snapping in his chest. His little brother really has always hated him, no matter how hard he tried to love him. “I won’t let you tell me differently anymore.”

Anonymous asked: Hey younger brothers, you miiight want to go to the office with Red and Anti, something tells me it's about to go downhill from here, and you'd be stronger together, protecting each other.

Blue blinks and looks around, realizing only now that his twin is gone.

“Oh, shit,” he breathes.

He turns and races down the stairs, tearing towards the office.

Anonymous asked: You are not pathetic, Jackie. You are a hero, through-and-through. You've spent your every waking moment protecting them from abuse in any way you were able. "Broken" is just Anti being an ableist, abusive asshat. You are stronger than him. You always have been, no matter what he tries to convince you of. Break free of him, Jackieboy Man.

“Yeah, you know what, they’re right,” Jackie continues, lifting his chin up and glaring at Anti as bruises form on his face. “You know what I think, Anti? I think you’re so desperate to believe that our creator - that Jack - ”

“Don’t say that name!” screams Anti, slapping him again.

Red laughs. “I think you’re so desperate to believe that Jack was in the wrong that you tell yourself he did something wrong to us just because of things like me being autistic. And that’s pretty fucked up, Anti. There’s nothing wrong with me. There’s nothing wrong with Dap and Trick. Honestly? I think Jack was probably an okay guy, and you’re the one who’s always been the villain.”

“Stop it!” screams Anti, driving his fist into Red’s chest. Red steps back, but doesn’t falter. “Stop it, stop it!”

“You like to act like you’re in control and you can’t even control your temper and your fucking daddy issues!”

“Red!” shouts Anti, his eyes flashing. “Stop it! You’re just like Jack, you’re just like Dark, everybody turns on me eventually! You were always just Jack’s little soldier, his failsafe! You think I made you a guard dog? Jack used you for years to get what he wanted.”

“Jack was trying to protect us from you!”

“You don’t even remember!” Anti grabs Red by the throat and slams him into the wall, crashing his head into wood. “Who have you been talking to? You - ”

“Hey, stop, stop!” cries Blue, appearing to grab Anti’s hands, trying to tear him off his twin. Anti kicks his cane away from him and sends him crashing to the ground.

“I ought to put both of you right back in the hospital!”

“Anti, don’t hurt him!” shrieks Blue. “Dapper’s not here! You can’t fix this if it all goes wrong!”

Anti’s grip tightens for a moment on Red’s throat. Ro chokes, gripping at his fingers.

Anti drops him to the ground.

“You’re right,” he spits, turning to grab Blue by the hair, dragging him back up to a sitting position. “So I’ll deal with you two once I have my boy back.”

[callmessam-blog]

Not One, But Two (Part VIII)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII

Summary: It all started on that night when you and Jay were both too drunk to remember anything. You resigned from your job and left Seoul with a secret. Now you’re back and ready to tell Jay about them, but doing so means sharing their lives and putting his career and love life on the line.

There was no time to back out. As you got closer to the private room Jay had rented for tonight, a faint sound of laughter left the thin space of the door. They were having fun on the other side of that door, while you were another story out here.

Your thoughts ran wildly inside your brain. Perhaps you shouldn’t have worn this floral dress, it made you look so positive. Or perhaps you should have told Jay to wait for you instead of walking ahead like planned to avoid prying eyes from the public. God, of all the days to get a stomach ache, why not now so you’d have an excuse? No, in fact you could already be sick from this nervousness.

When Jay arrived at your doorstep this afternoon, looking dapper in his white dress shirt and pair of navy blue jeans and wearing a wide smile you’re sure one would have a hard time erasing, you wanted to tell him that you were wrong. You were being foolish when you agreed to him and you didn’t think this through. You’d be lying of course because you were telling the truth. The guys ought to know. You hated keeping the twins a secret from them when they had treated you so well in the past.

Jaeyoung tugged your hand and you looked at him, his face confused why you had stopped when the door was just there. Suri clung on your dress and was also looking at you. Could it be that they were thinking the same thing?

All of a sudden the door opened and Jay popped out. “Hey,” he said, sounding relieved. “I thought you got lost or something happened.”

“Daddy!” Jaeyoung cried excitedly, running to him. He shot his hands up and Jay carried him.

“I missed you buddy,” Jay said, ruffling his son’s hair. Recalling how Jaeyoung cried when he left them once out of the car crushed his heart.

You shook your head, smiling at yourself for your foolish thoughts. You must have been standing still here for quite a time already. “Something happened, but nothing that big,” you said, walking towards him with Suri. “This is gonna sound crazy, but I think I am crazy. I don’t know what to say to them.”

“It’s going to be fine,” Jay said and reached out for your free hand. He squeezed it gently.

For a moment you didn’t say anything and relied on the warmth from his palm. “Okay, I got this,” you said and nodded.

At first, there was silence.

You barely had the confidence to look at each of their faces, staring at you when you walked inside the room with Suri and Jay holding Jaeyoung. Most of them sat around the long table, except for Hyukwoo and Pumkin who stood next to the window.

And the next thing you knew, you were being crushed by Hyunjung who got up to hug you. Then chaos erupted—Jay was laughing at Jukyung who wanted to carry Jaeyoung; Kiseok pointed out that Jaeyoung had started crying because of Jukyung; Upon hearing her brother cry, Suri frowned and clung to you tighter, fearing the strangers before her; Sunghwa knelt in front of her and waved a lollipop in front of her to cheer her up; and amidst everyone else’s actions, you found yourself laughing at this welcome.

“Mommy,” Suri said, and you knelt down to wrap your arms around her.

“It’s okay baby. They’re mommy and daddy’s friends,” you told her, patting her back to calm her.

“Look, my kids are getting scared of you guys,” Jay said, trying to stop himself from laughing, and then pointed at Sunghwa. “How dare you bribe my daughter? I’m telling you. You’re handsome but I’m her dad. I get the final say.”

Abashed, you looked at Jay and called him out.

“I’m just kidding,” Jay grinned.

In the list of the many things that had happened to you and how you expected them to turn out, how everyone welcomed you and the twins should be added to it. You were, in general, the kind of person who always prepared yourself for the worst. Tonight, you expected some kind of indifference from everyone. However, fate had blessed you and gave you people who treated you well.

Around the table, Suri and Jaeyoung sat in between you and Jay. Next to you was Hyukwoo.

“Jay-hyung told us everything. They’re very cute,” Hyukwoo told you, glancing at Suri who seemed to have noticed him for she looked at him curiously. “Her name is Suri, right?”

"Suri, this is uncle Loco. Will you say hi to him?" You asked Suri.

She shook her head shyly. That only won Hyukwoo more.

"He's also a rapper like your daddy," you added, pointing at him.

"Ra-pper?" Suri said and peeped at him from your cardigan where she hid her face.

"Mhmm. Well, how about a handshake?"

Suri stayed quiet, stealing quick glances at Hyukwoo, who waved at her. "This might be a selfish request but somehow I wish I could be their godfather," Hyukwoo whispered to you.

It touched you to hear him say that. But all the more your guilt ate you up. "I'm sorry for keeping them a secret from all of you. Most of all, from Jay. At that time, I really thought I was doing the right thing," you confessed.

Kiseok, sitting across you had joined the conversation. "No one blames you. What's important is that they finally have both of their parents. And of course, that we met them at last. Come to think of it, our family just got bigger."

Grateful for what he had said, you raised your glass of soda to him. “Thank you, Kiseok. And I missed you and your words of wisdom. They were my guide in a dark tunnel.”

Kiseok chuckled. "I gotta give it to Jay. Never thought he'd become a daddy before me."

“Well, it wasn’t planned,” you joked.

On the other side of the table, Jay enjoyed telling the others funny stories about him and the twins and Suri got his singing skills and Jaeyoung inherited his moves. Jaeyoung seemed comfortable now, looking at the adults surrounding him. Though he had not said anything, he listened to them as if he followed what they were talking about.

Your eyes swept the room, from the jolly faces to the scrumptious foods on the table, and felt your heart heavy with relief to be here tonight. It was like a dream you never had yet was given to you.

So why was it that a pin was stuck in your heart and your tears wanted to come out?

The night had deepened, and when Suri yawned and the foods were reduced into the plates where they had been previously arranged so artistically, everyone agreed that the stories left untold would be continued some other day and it was time to go home.

Jay carried his sleepy daughter on the way to the parking lot; and Jaeyoung, equally tired, was in the arms of Sunghwa whom he had gotten close to. He volunteered to carry him since his car was parked next to Jay.

"Thank you, Sunghwa. I always thought you would be a good uncle," you said, walking next to him. Delicately, you swept Jaeyoung’s hair that was stuck in his forehead.

"Thanks to the lollipop," Sunghwa chuckled lightly. "I think he likes my shoulder.”

"You know he really does take after Jay. And Jay likes you, so I'm sure he does too."

"Are you guys talking about me? Hurry up!" Jay called out, standing next to his car. He fished out his car’s remote and unlocked the doors. You opened the back passenger doors, and both Jay and Sunghwa carefully placed the twins on their seats so they wouldn’t wake up.

“I promise I’ll come visit your new studio soon,” you told Sunghwa after thanking him once again for helping out. Once inside your vehicles, you and Jay waved back at Sunghwa, and then left the parking lot.

The drive back to your house was spent listening to the cool evening voices of the radio DJs in between songs they played. With the quiet rain that began when you were a few kilometers away from the restaurant, to you it seemed as if this departure was the continuation of a life that had been put on hiatus for three years. Your life.

"We did good, right?" Jay asked, catching a glimpse of you through the rear view mirror after checking the car behind him.

You turned to him and leaned comfortably on the soft cover of your seat. It was dark but you could just see him, smothered in various colors of lights coming from the outside.

"I almost thought we were spending their birthday months before the actual date," you giggled.

"That's not even the half of what I would do for their birthday. I'd surprise you," Jay replied. He smiled as he saw you close your eyes momentarily and nod at him.

"You always do, Park Jaebum."

And then, it's just Jay who was awake, reminding himself not to be carried away by the waves of exhaustion and join the three of you in your slumber. No, he had to drive past these cars eager to get to their destinations and slippery roads that ended before the seas, and make sure that nothing would happen. That nothing would wake you up until he got you home.

But he knew it in himself. None of these cars or roads or rain could stop him from seeing his home, when he’s already looking at them.

He’s finally at home.

[lifeofbouyd]

I just had to

Dear Bouyd,

There’s a lot of things that I’ve done in my past that I’m not too proud of. I'm sure we all have that sit and reflect on life moment that makes us wonder, what the fuck was I thinking? The funny thing about mistakes is, it either makes us or breaks us. I’m gonna tell you about one that made me and broke me at the same time. Please don’t judge.

I was only seventeen years old when I met Steven for the first time at a family reunion back in 2005. I’d normally find an excuse not to go, but this time, mom wasn’t having it. For every excuse, I made she had a resolution. So I was either gonna attend or pretend to be dead. I got dressed and headed out with them, hoping to have a terrible day. We pulled up to what seemed to be a bus park only to realize that it was the family parking lot for the event. Over one hundred vehicles, most of which were top of the line. These people seemed filthy rich and very organized. We walked across the park to greet who seemed to be the event organizers or the big money spenders in other words. I had seen the people once or twice as a child but I didn’t even know their names. There were so many people there that I felt lost. Kids running all over the place, elders playing dominoes, boys playing cricket and football and most the girls seemed to be gossiping. They were staring at me from the moment I got there. I felt like the new girl in school, with no friends or a reputation to protect me. I simply sat with the organizers and listened to them tell their life stories. I overheard them talking about Steven, saying he’s always late and they have a presentation for him. I then realized they had multiple gifts sitting behind them, one even had my name on it. “Speaking of the devil, here he comes.” Said, my mom. He pulled with his friends and they seemed somewhat elite. He wasn’t dressed as if he planned to take part in any of the events, he was rather “dapper” from head to toe, looking like a girls man. My mom gave out, “Yuh see how yuh cousin hot gyal, spoil brat dat eno.” I couldn’t help but laugh. He walked as if the ground adored him, with his head held high and a straight face. Almost everyone was staring at him. He kept staring at me while he hugged and greeted everyone and for some strange reason, it gave me butterflies. He walked slowly towards me and said, “I hope you’re just a friend of the family, I couldn’t live knowing I can’t have you.” My smile touched my ears as I blushed and stared at him. “Could I have your name and number in case I need to contact you in the future?” “I’m not sure if we’re family or not, but I do hope that we’re not”, I replied. To be honest, if he had come any closer to my Face I’d probably kiss him right then and there.

He invited me onto the field where we sat and chat for a while till his stupid ass friends came along. “Football time eno mad dawg” I wanted to squeeze their necks for taking him away. “As much as I’d love to stay and make you wet, duty calls, please forgive me.” I couldn’t help but smile at this niggas “cockiness”. He thought he had me. I watched them play for a while until I got super bored and decided to join the cheerleaders who kept screaming his name. He didn’t even score a goal so I really don’t see what they were going on about. He did look a bit “sexyish” in his gears now that I think of it. We chat for a while after the match before he left with his friends. We were both too shy to ask for each other’s number, so it was a total waste of a day. I got back home that night, filled my tub with bubble, and grabbed me a decent sized cucumber from the fridge. My clit was hard from the thought of him fucking me, slow and deep. I closed my eyes and rode that cucumber until my legs were shaking. I squirted within minutes. Holy fuck, he did actually have me weak. As tough as I thought I was, he had decoded me and left me to fend for myself. How stupid of me not to take his number, what the fuck is wrong with me? I was going crazy for Steven. Pussy jumping kinda crazy, want to be a big stinking freak with him kind of crazy. What if he is my cousin? I always heard old people say “cousin and cousin boil good soup.” Plus I’ve always found cousin porn on pornhub to be sexy. Just the thought made me want to climb a wall. How do I get to him, will I ever see him again? I fell asleep with my pillow clutching between my legs.

“Santana, Santana, wake up or we’re gonna leave you.” My mom shouted. I half opened my eyes to the sun shining through my window and mom standing at the door. She shouted again, even louder this time, “We’re going to the final day of the reunion, the dinner so put on something nice” I jumped up hearing such great news. I was gonna see him again after all. I looked across my room at the clock which was showing 1:36 pm, which couldn’t be right. At least ni to my knowledge, I don’t normally sleep that late. Or maybe it was that damn cucumber. I checked my phone hoping that the clock was fucked, but it was indeed correct. I rushed to the bathroom to take a shower then dragged my favorite dress and heels on. I did my face as if I was in a pageant and damped myself with my Dolce perfume. My dress was tight to the front so he’d see how bugged I was and the back sat gently on my hips and my but. It seemed like a runway kinda dress. I had one intention and one intention only, win Steven over. I knew would be competition, after all, these people are rich. What guarantees a broke girl like me a chance with him? It was either I go hard or go home. I was worried he’d be booked by the time I got there but funny enough, he saved me a seat right next to him. He was either as anxious as I was or pretty damn good at charming. He was super fly, from head to toe. His scent was to die for. I sniffed him so much my mouth tasted like him. He whispered one thing in my ear that made me have to rush to the bathroom to rub my clit. “I’d love for you to suck me and ride my dick right here, and ride it till I cum inside you.” He bit his lips and stared me dead in the eyes, “I bet you masturbated to the thought of me drilling you hard last night, how was it?” My underwear was soaking wet. We bumped into each while coming from the bathroom. He stole a slow wet kiss and braced his hard dick on my trembling legs. Again my pussy flooded, I melted into the wall. Anxiously I grabbed his dick and rubbed my hand gently across it. “I want to fuck you right now,” he said. Squeezing my neck, grabbing my ass and bracing his hard dick against me. He turned me around, now facing the wall with one hand on my shoulder. He slapped my ass hard and whispered in my ear, “I’m gonna fuck you here, be silent.” I arched my back and watched him lift my skirt to take a peek at my buff. I had never been so horny in my life. He rubbed his dick against my leg causing me to tremble. He shifts my thong and rubbed his big dick on my wet pussy. But by the time he could make his way inside me, my mom came calling. He ran for over in one of the girl’s bathroom and I acted as if I was washing hands.

I was dying for him, crying for him. Sigh, I wanted him so badly I didn’t even talk to my mom for days. The one chance I had, the one chance I created, gone to waste. I fucked my cucumber several times that night, trying to fill the gap, but that did nothing than make me hornier. He gave me his number but clumsily enough I didn’t save it. I felt like dying. Days passed and I was stuck with nothing but a fantasy. My boyfriend even left me for calling him, Steven. No boyfriend, no dick, no Steven 😔. I had given up on all hopes of ever seeing him again. After all, I had no contact with him nor anyone back there. So why torture myself. I woke up one morning to message I will never forget.

Message:

Good morning. I apologize for taking so long to get to you. It took quite some time to find you.

My dick is still hard and I can still feel your lips on mine. I miss you, come see me, please.

I sat there for a while, laughing to myself, thinking this was my stupid ass boyfriend looking some pussy. I replied with a “who this” only to get the shock of my life.

Message: It’s Steven. The one and only.

My panties soaked, my heart started racing, making it hard to breathe. I couldn’t believe for a second it was him so I called. His voice, sigh, shit. Now my pussy is wet all over again. He told me how he wanted to fuck me and make me suck his dick. He expounded on every single detail, from the foreplay to the orgasm. God, I came so hard. But how was I gonna see him? He lived all the way on the other side of the country. I thought long and hard and then it hit me. My dad was always saying I should go spend time with my family in the country. Steven lived just up the road from them so that was our best shot. Foolish enough they sent me the next day. Putting little red riding hood in the big, bad wolf’s mouth. I took all my sexy panties with me, even ones I’ve never worn before. I wanted him to feel like a king while taking my clothes off. He made arrangements for us to go to a party that night, some hot shot party at his friend’s place. I got my self dressed and anticipated his arrival. Patiently waiting for what’s to come. I was fine until he started whining on me, bracing his dick against my nice little ass. He banged me hard and made me super wet. He said he was ready, he had work early in the morning, so he’s gonna drop me off and we’ll link up in the morning. I got angry, super angry, as I thought he was going to fuck me. On our way back he made a detour, said he needed something at his house. I followed him inside only to see a room full of balloons and a card sitting on the bed. It read: Tonight I take what’s rightfully mine, take off your clothes or if you don’t mind I can always shift it to the side. Now he didn’t have to say it twice, I was butt fucking naked in less than five seconds. His dick stretched across his pants like a snake. I flicked his shirt off and swooshed his pants one side. We started kissing, deep and passionate. He squeezed me ass and nibbles on my tits, my body got so numb I could even feel the vibration of my clit. He sucked my nipples hard and finger fucked me till I came all over his hand. I laid on my back with my legs wide open, pulling him in to fuck the hell out of me. But he wasn’t going in that easily. He teased me, squeezed me and made me beg before sliding the head inside. I came again. He pushed and shoved and stroked me until I was numb. I couldn’t take no more. I pushed him on his back and stared at his big black dick. “You can suck it if you want you know, I won’t tell anyone but you.” He gave out. But I ain’t ever sucked a dick before and I sure as hell didn’t want to choke. “No teeth, just mouth,” he said. Believe it or not, I slapped my tongue around a couple of times, from ballot head, and from head to ball and back. I opened my mouth as wide as I could to take him down my throat, but I couldn’t even half his dick. Omg, my boyfriend begged me so many times to suck his dick and I wouldn’t. But for Steven, I suck him right now if I could. He fucked me even harder when I was finished. Making me squirt several times. With his dick half way in my tummy, he was sucking on my tits and rubbing my clit. He knew exactly where to push his dick and how long to hold it there. He fucked me for at least an hour before cumin. That was satisfaction guaranteed. No one has ever made me feel like that since the last time we fucked and I just can’t let him go.

Now u know it’s wrong to fuck my cousin, but god as my whiteness, I’d fuck him again and again if I could. Unfortunately, he’s now living overseas and I’m stuck with this empty feeling of incomplete. I just had to fuck him and I’m patiently waiting till he gets back home to fix me up again. Fuck me all over the place and make me rain. I masturbated several times while writing this and I’m still gonna masturbate again when reading it on your page. I have no regrets and I just hope y’all will love my story and not judge me.

Yours Truly,

Santana

[scuzmunkie]

Love is Blind: Chapter 10

A/N: My beautiful, darling little pumpkins. Thank you so much for the outpour of love you all continue to show me and my story!! I can’t tell you how excited I get every time I see a note, comment and reblog!! You all are so amazing!! Here’s chapter 10, lmk if there are any mistakes or if you’d like to be added to the tag list and as always, enjoy!! Seth Rollins x Blind OFC Warnings: Language and pure, unadulterated fluff. Implied sexy times. Word Count: 3000+ Summary: Seth was Lily’s world, she was foolish enough to think that she was his. That is until he leaves her behind in pursuit of his dreams. What happens when fate throws them together again years after the heartache and tears? How can Lily see past the pain of the past when she can’t see at all? +++ Seth looked at himself in the floor length mirror, fiddling with the black piece of fabric for what felt like the eightieth time. He turned at the sound of Roman and Dean trying to stifle their laughter. “I’m glad you two douche bags find this so amusing!” He growled with a scowl, looking back at the mirror. Roman finally stood, walking over to the younger man and pushed Seth’s hands away from the uncooperative article of clothing. “Deep breaths.” Roman said calmly as he retied and straightened Seth’s black tie. “There you go. Now calm your ass down.” “I’m trying, I just want everything to be perfect.” “It will be!” Dean piped in, straightening his own tie, “and not to sound like a total dick, but she’s blind, you don’t have to look perfect for her.” “Damn Uce, stay classy...” Roman said, shaking his head at Dean’s comment. “I know that, but I want to look my best for her, to let her know that she’s worth getting all dressed up for.” All three men turned their heads to the door when they heard sniffling. Renee stood there with tears in her eyes and a hand over her heart. “Rollins, that may have been the most beautiful thing I’ve heard.” “Hey, I say romantic shit to you all the time, doll!” Dean said, chuckling when Renee playfully smacked his shoulder. “How is she?” Seth asked, fastening his cuff links. “Oh Seth, I wish I could tell you, but it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding!” She said, her pointer finger raised for dramatic emphasis. “Now sit and let me help you with that mop.” “For your information, Lily loves my mop, thank you very much.” He said, hubris radiating from him. Renee simply rolled her eyes as she parted his hair and put it in his signature low bun, securing it with a black hair tie and gelled the hell out of it. “There,” She said, admiring her handy work, “this sucker won’t move even in a hurricane!” Kissing her cheek he mumbled a ‘thanks’ and proceeded to get the rest of his suit on. He and Lily decided on a black on black three piece suits for him and the groomsmen while the women wore knee length, mint green lace dresses with cap sleeves and open backs. Seth chose the color because it brought out Lily’s eyes. Taking a deep breath, Seth gave himself one last look over before he, Renee, Dean and Roman left the room. —- Lily’s mother, Gwen, sat next to a very nervous Lily as the makeup artist applied the finishing touches on Lily’s face as the hair dresser gave her one last sprits of hairspray. Her leg was bouncing with anticipation. She hadn’t slept at all last night. She stayed up with Renee and Amanda talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Gwen reached for her daughter’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “What’s got you so worked up, my sweet girl?” Lily bit her lip as tears started to fill her eyes. Amanda quickly started fanning Lily’s face to stop the tears from ruining her makeup. Synndy was by her side in an instant with a cold watery bottle. “Lily-Pad, what is it?” Amanda asked sweetly. “It’s stupid.” Lily mumbled, not wanting to say it out loud. “Hey, it’s not stupid at all, tell us what’s wrong?” Renee said, crouching down in front of the bride to be. “I just, I wish I c-could see, just for one day.” She whispered. “I wish I could see Seth and the look on his face when he sees me. I want so badly to see how stunning he’ll look in his suit. It, it’s silly tho.” She finished with a sad smile. The other three women immediately embraced Lily. Gwen took Lily’s face in her hands and lovingly kissed each of her cheeks. “Oh my sweet baby,” She softly cooed, “it’s not silly. Not one bit. It’s normal to want that, especially on such a special occasion.” She kissed her daughter and gently dabbed her tears with a tissue. “Now, lets get you dressed m’love!” She said as Amanda got Lily’s dress. They had spent hours upon hours trying to find the perfect dress then one day, they found Lily’s dress; an elegant lacy mermaid dress with an off the shoulders scoop neck and long sheer sleeves. When she first tried it on, there wasn’t a dry eye in the store. When she was dressed, Amanda gently placed a bouquet in Lily’s hands, placing a small kiss on her best friend’s cheek. Just then, there was a knock on the door and in came a very dapper looking Luke. He smiled lovingly at his wife as he kissed her then made his way to Lily. “Wow kiddo,” Luke said once he stood in front of Lily, “you look absolutely breathtaking.” He placed his hands on her shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze and kissed her forehead. “I c-can’t thank you enough for doing this for me, Luke.” Lily said softly, unshed tears in her eyes. “Hey,” he whispered, lifting her chin with a single finger, “it’s my absolute pleasure. Your old man is a fool because I would be so proud to be your dad. If I ever have a daughter I want her to be just like you.” He pulled her into a hug as tears freely rolled down his cheeks. —- Seth stood at the alter, anxiously waiting for his bride. He smiled as he thought back to the first day he saw her. He was so humiliated he had fallen that he took it out on her. Now, he’s so grateful that he tripped over her cane because that’s what brought her into his life. He was brought out of his thoughts when the music hit signaling that the bridesmaids and groomsmen were on their way. “Ok,” he mumbled to himself, “let’s get this show on the road.” He quickly cracked his neck trying to get rid of the last of his nerves. Roman’s daughter delicately dropping handfuls of flower petals as she slowly walked down the isle next to Brody who was proudly holding the rings on a light mint green pillow. When they reached the end of the isle they both gave Seth their best smiles. Then came Amanda and Roman, followed by Dean and Renee, all wearing huge grins and unshed tears, the most prominent being Amanda. She smiled at Seth while giving him a wink. As hard as it was for Amanda to let her go, she knew that Seth would take care of Lily and love her for the rest of their lives. As they took their places by the alter, Roman gave Seth’s shoulder a brotherly squeeze. “I’m so happy for you, little brother.” Roman whispered as the music signaling the arrival of the bride started playing. When the guests all stood, Seth took a deep breath and looked towards the end of the isle, only for said breath to be taken away. In walked Luke with Lily on his arm. Seth felt his head spin and as tho his heart would beat right out of his chest. Lily walked down the isle looking like something out of a dream. Her beautiful smile lighting up the room with eyes shining bright. He still couldn’t believe that this beautiful angel agreed to marry him. Truth be told, Seth never thought he’d ever get married, it wasn’t something that appealed to him. But that all changed the day she walked into his life. When they reached the alter, Luke gently turned Lily towards him, lifted her veil and kissed her forehead. “Love you, kiddo.” He whispered before turning her back to Seth who had his hand stretched out towards his soon to be wife. Lifting her wrist, Luke guided Lily’s hand to Seth’s open palm. Lily’s nerves were still raging on the inside, but felt a sense of peace when she felt Seth’s fingers wrap lovingly around hers. He helped her up the steps to the alter where the officiator waited. Lily’s face was going to hurt so much by the end of the night with all the smiling she was doing. As she held Seth’s hands, a bastard tear managed to find its way down her cheek but was stopped by Seth’s calloused hand. He felt his heart skip a beat as she nuzzled into his touch, something he’ll never get used to. “The couple will now exchange their vows.” The officiator said, bringing Seth and Lily out of their tender little moment. Lily took a deep breath, squeezing Seth’s hands softly. “Seth,” her lips were already trembling, “you make me feel whole, like there’s nothing wrong with me. When I’m with you I feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. All my life, people treated me like I was broken, but you see me, not my disability. You are my heart, without you I am nothing. I hate going to sleep because it’s hours away from you. Where I’m weak, you make me strong, when I fall, you catch me, and when I feel like I can’t go on, you give me the strength to feel like I can do anything. I love you more than life itself and I can’t believe that I get to spend the rest of it with you.” By now Lily’s tears fell freely as she professed her undying love for Seth. Seth let out a shaky breath stared at Lily with nothing but pure love and admiration. “My beautiful Lily, before I met you my world was dark, all I saw was black but you came in and brought color into my life. You were the only one who saw me suffering when I tried my hardest to hide it. With no disregard for your own safety, you came into my apartment, someone you barely knew and saved me from myself. I never wanted the whole married thing, wife, kids and what not, but with you I can’t wait to have a little one of our own. I love you with every fiber of my being.” With tears streaming from down his face, Seth pulled Lily closer to him, placing his forehead on hers, whispered, “My heart truly beat for the first time when I felt your arms around me that night.” There wasn’t a dry eye in the entire room. The officiator finished the ceremony, Brody proudly bringing the rings to the happy couple, earning a wink from Seth. “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!” Seth pulled Lily into his arms and happily shared their first kiss as husband and wife. —- Lily and Seth sat at the head table after greeting their friends and family. Seth brought Lily’s hand to his lips and kissed the back of it, Lily turned to face her husband, feeling for his face with her free hand and kissed his lips. “I love you so much, Mr. Rollins.” “I love you too, Mrs. Rollins. More than you’ll ever know.” He whispered, kissing her again.

He was lost in her eyes, they were filled with love and utter joy. He promised himself right then and there that he’d do everything in his power to keep that look in her eyes. The voice of their MC brought them both back to the present. “Ladies and gentlemen, the happy couple will now share their fist dance as husband and wife.”   Taking Lily by the hand, Seth stood up with her and they made their way to the center of the floor. Lily had asked Seth to choose their song which he agreed to but with one condition; she didn’t get to know until their wedding day. He couldn’t help but reminisce about the night he chose the song. —- Seth was driving to the next town with Lily curled up sleeping soundly in the passenger seat. It was her turn to choose the music and even tho she was asleep, Seth kept her phone plugged in. Then, a song came through the speakers. When he was stopped at a red light, he peered over to the sleeping angel on his right as the lyrics filled the air. Seth reached over, tucking his hoodie better on her but stopped when she took his and in her sleep. He was so lost in the moment, her hand in his and the lyrics. It wasn’t until the car behind him honked that he realized that the light had turned green. It felt like this was her song for him and his for her, this was it, this was their song. —- When Seth and Lily took their place in the center of the room, her arms around his neck and his hands on her hips, the music started to play. I remember all of the things that I thought I wanted to be So desperate to find a way out of my world and finally breathe Right before my eyes I saw, my heart it came to life This ain't easy, it's not meant to be Every story has its scars Lily’s eyes immediately filled with tears. “This is our s-song?” She asked, smiling through the tears. “This is our song, pretty baby. Listen to the words, this is how you make me feel.” When the pain cuts you deep When the night keeps you from sleeping Just look and you will see That I will be your remedy When the world seems so cruel And your heart makes you feel like a fool I promise you will see That I will be, I will be your remedy “I l-love you so much, Seth.” She whispered against his lips. “You’ve made me so happy” No river is too wide or too deep for me to swim to you Come whatever, I'll be the shelter that won't let the rain come through Your love, it is my truth And I will always love you Love you “Not as happy as you’ve made me. I’m the luckiest man on earth.” He said, kissing her deeply. 

When the pain cuts you deep When the night keeps you from sleeping Just look and you will see That I will be your remedy When the world seems so cruel And your heart makes you feel like a fool I promise you will see That I will be, I will be your remedy “Oh? I think I could give you a run for your money, Mr. Rollins.” She challenged playfully, a small giggle escaping her lips. “Is that so, Mrs. Rollins?!” He would never tire of saying that, knowing that she was totally and completely his. She gently tightened her arms around his neck, their foreheads pressed together, as she softly sang along with the last chorus of the song. When the pain cuts you deep When the night keeps you from sleeping Just look and you will see I will be, I will be When the world seems so cruel And your heart makes you feel like a fool I promise you will see That I will be, I will be, I will be... Your Remedy When the song ended, the guests clapped and couples started making their way to the dance floor. Seth felt a small tug on his pant leg. Looking down, Brody gave a small wave. “May I cut in?” He asked, a cheeky smile plastered on his little face. Lily couldn’t help but laugh at the small boy’s bold request. Seth crouched down in front of Brody, giving him a warm smile. “Alright kiddo, but I get her back after this dance.” He said, playfully tussling Brody’s hair. “Deal!” And with that, his little hands reached for Lily’s as they danced to Mika’s “Love Today”, Brody jumping to the beat. The rest of the evening was spent dancing and laughing with their loved ones. Luke had surprised Lily with a father-daughter dance, both were in tears by the end of the song. Lily couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day. —- As Seth unlocked the door to their hotel suite he abruptly scooped Lily up in his arms and carried her over the threshold. She let squealed at his sudden actions, laughing as he set her on her feet. She turned in his arms, placed her hand on his face as she delicately traced his lips. Seth closed his eyes, savoring her soft touch, making her jump when he caught her middle finger between his teeth. She gently gasped as her cheeks slowly reddened. He still had the ability to make her feel so small and fragile in his arms. He took her hand in his as he softly kissed each of her fingertips. She closed her eyes at the sensation of feeling his lips on her skin. “Shall we consummate our marriage, Mrs. Rollins?” Seth said huskily in her ear, a small whimper escaping her luscious lips. “Please....” She whispered, her hands grabbing the lapels of his jacket. He groaned, how could one simple word make his entire core quake? He quickly threw her over his shoulder, giving a playful smack to her butt as he ran to the bedroom. They spent the night, tangled in the sheets and each other’s bodies, their breath mixing together as if their very existence depended on it. Lily laid next to Seth, her head on his bicep and her soft snores filling the room. Seth just laid there, eyes glued to his wife’s soft features. ‘My wife’ he thought to himself, two words he never thought he’d have in his vocabulary. He gently brushed the hair out of her face, tracing her lips with his thumb causing her to softly sigh in her sleep. Smiling to himself, Seth slipped his arm around Lily’s bare waist and pulled her flush against his body. Kissing her forehead one more time, he allowed sleep to peacefully wash over him as he fell asleep with his wife in his arms. +++ A/N: So I wanted to throw in the part with Seth dressing up for Lily even though she couldn’t see him. I got the idea from a documentary I watched about the man who Ben Affleck talked to when he was filming DareDevil. He told a story about how his wife got all dolled up for him. She told him that even tho he can’t see her she wanted to look her best for him. It was the cutest thing ever!! A/N: Just wanted to also say that Seth and Lily’s wedding song was “Remedy” by Adele In case anyone didn’t know what the song was.

@haven-raven012591 @wrestlingfae @neversatisfiedgirl @hanaslay @calwitch

@lost-in-the-stories @team-elias @panda-girl1999 @imagine-all-the-fandoms 

@captainwinterwriter

[stephobrien]

Four Times I Begged Them: A Don't Starve Fanfic

Spoiler/content warnings:

This fanfiction contains spoilers for the end of Don't Starve's adventure mode. It also includes mentions of death and suicidal desires. ​ ​Description:

In the centuries since Maxwell was dragged into The Constant, he's begged his tormentors four times. As his pleas fall on uncaring ears, he resorts to increasingly desperate measures in his quest to escape his prison.

Story: ​In the interminable stretch of time that has passed since my dabbling in dark magic got my assistant and I captured and dragged into The Constant, I’ve begged our captors four times. The first was the night they took Charlie. When they first pulled us into this miserable world, I thought we would at least be able to take comfort in each other’s company. Charlie was angry with me – understandably so – for ruining her life through my reckless hubris, but I knew she’d forgive me eventually. I was ready to do whatever it took to earn that forgiveness, though I knew I would never truly deserve it. After dragging her into this mess, the least I could do was everything I could to keep her alive and to give her as good a life as we could create in this wretched, uncultured wilderness. But I don’t think our captors like it when we have hope. The more our minds deteriorate, the further we slide into their world, and I suspect that’s exactly where they want us. So they took Charlie there by force, and made her one of them. If only I’d known what I know now. I would never have let the fire go out. Wouldn’t have left her vulnerable to the monstrous hands that closed around her, dragging her away from me as we screamed and clung to each other. But their limbs were far stronger than ours, fingers invisible in the absolute blackness, snaking around our desperate hands and prying them away from each other’s arms. They wrenched her away from me, and as her terrified shrieks went hoarse with pain, I tried to fumble for a torch. They wouldn’t allow it. My arms were bound to my sides, a horrible preview of what was to come, and I could only listen and call her in vain as her wailing turned to choking, then went silent. Why they chose her, I don’t know. I was the one who had the book, the one who trespassed in their domain. Maybe that was why. Perhaps it amused them to leave my will intact, to let me wallow in my guilt as they punished my innocent assistant for my mistakes. When they finally released me, leaving me alone and trembling in the darkness, I’m sure they must have been silently laughing at the foolishness and shock that kept my hands from lighting a torch. When a hissing snarl tore through the air, I thought they were coming for me next. In my horror, grief and guilt, I almost welcomed the thought. If only I hadn’t been wearing that grass suit. If only the pain of her claws tearing into my chest hadn’t galvanized me into action, sending my shaking hands groping for a torch so I could see what was attacking me. If only I’d let her finish me off before the light drove her away, letting me have a final glimpse of her twisted, deformed face before she fled my sight forever. I would’ve been so much better off. So would every person whose life I’ve touched since then. But to everyone’s misfortune, I would live to beg them three more times. ~*~ The second time I begged them was the day I reached the throne room. There wasn’t much there when I showed up; no Merms, no Depths Worms, none of the strange but comprehensible creatures that populated the world they threw Charlie and I into. Just dust, and the Void, and them. I thought I had come prepared. The grueling worlds that led to that room had tested the limits of my skill, and I had brought enough rations to last me a few days. I even managed to make a few crock pots to extend my food supply, and a teleportation device that I foolishly hoped would remove me when I was ready to leave. With all that in place, I told myself I would have enough time to convince them to restore Charlie to her former self. Maybe I could even get them to let us leave. Time. Heh. There was one thing I’d have more than enough of. Not that it mattered, in the end. I was a fool. I dared to hope. I thought if I reasoned, bargained or begged, eventually I’d find the combination of words that would persuade them to let her go. But no matter how clever you think you are, you cannot bargain with someone who won’t reveal what they want. And these creatures just watch you. Unless you get too close. I guess I got too close. After several days, as my food supplies ran low, the shadows began to coalesce. They twisted and solidified, until they formed the rough and thorny chair I still sit on today. I knew it wasn’t a good idea. But at that point, there were no other ideas left. I’d tried everything else at my disposal; all there was left was to accept their invitation, and find out what would happen next. The moment the familiar grip of their tendrils closed around my wrists, I knew I’d made a mistake. I should’ve let myself starve. Instead, I found myself bound to the chair, drowning in memories of darkness, fear, and the screams that had torn at my ears the first time I felt that horrible grasp. For the first few seconds, those flashbacks roared with such overwhelming force that nothing else could touch my mind. Then the crackling of the torches around me began to filter in, the whispering flames slowly pushing my friend’s cries aside with their simple, wordless message: Charlie isn’t coming for you. We won’t give her back, and as long as these cursed fires burn, she will never come. No one will get you out of this. Not even through death. ~*~​ The third time I begged them was the day they took my hands. For weeks, I fought to keep my sense of self, staring at hands that refused to age and clinging to them like a lifeline. Those once flawless, manicured fingers were marred by dirt and callouses, but they were still mine. The nails, frozen in time and unable to grow, were smooth and perfectly shaped, and the skin around them was supple and human. They reminded me of who I was: a cultured man with scruples and dignity. The prisoner of these demons, maybe, but never one of them. I guess they thought it was time I learned who they wanted me to be. It seems they don’t like a spirit that’s intact once it has ceased to amuse them. They didn’t do it all at once. They started with my right hand, those wretched lights illuminating every revolting, unnatural movement as my bones began to lengthen, stretching and tearing the muscles around them and straining the skin to its breaking point. Agony tore a scream from my throat as fire and nausea drowned my senses, and my dignity was forgotten as I begged for them to stop. They didn’t, of course. They never do. They didn’t when they were transforming Charlie. Heaven forbid that she felt the same kind of pain. It was only when my hand had been stretched and sharpened into a mocking likeness of them that they finally relented, leaving me gasping and shuddering as my body tried to empty a stomach that hadn’t been filled in weeks. I knew they wouldn’t settle for one. They were letting the pain and shock of the first deformity, combined with the dread of what was to come, take its full effect before eclipsing it with fresh anguish. I told myself I wouldn’t break. If there’s one piece of me that I thought I could keep intact, it was my pride. That, and what was left of my cultured demeanor. Turning my deformed hand palm-up, I asked if they could free it long enough for me to use my handkerchief to wipe the tears, snot, saliva and stomach acid off my face and suit. Damp is not dapper, after all. The shadows coiled tighter around my other hand, twisting barbs preparing to inject their nightmarish fuel, and they allowed me just enough time to say “I didn’t think so” before the agony resumed. ~*~ The fourth time I begged my captors, it wasn’t for mercy. I already knew that they had none to give. This time, I asked for one final act of cruelty: one which, compared to their other actions, would seem like mercy to me. I asked them to kill me. And this time, please, don’t bring me back. The words felt costly and humiliating, like a king paying his last pennies for a meal of garbage. And yet, I said them, despite already knowing they would not be heeded. My captors have never spoken to me before, nor showed signs of heeding me when I spoke. They’re smart enough to make that cursed book, so I know they aren’t stupid animals, but that doesn’t mean they’ll deal with me as equals. If anything, humans are animals to them. Pets – or, even worse, toys, to be played with and worn down until we cease to entertain them. I knew they wouldn’t listen. And yet, I begged. My body aches from staying in one position so long, and I don’t know which is worse – the days when I can feel my legs, which they twisted so viciously that my feet now point toward each other, or the days when I can’t. I haven’t eaten or drank in months, maybe years, yet the Nightmare Throne won’t let me die. Every time I expire, I reappear in this seat, hungry yet hale enough to continue entertaining my sadistic audience. I fear that the sound of those torches might be permanently carved into my mind, occupying more and more space where joy and memory once lived. I’ve forgotten how to build things I invented myself, and I don’t even remember what it’s like to be touched by another human being. I try to recall the feeling sometimes. To remember Charlie’s gleeful hugs when a show went particularly well, the playful kiss she would brush on my cheek, the hand on my shoulder when she entered a room I was sitting in. Sometimes, I try to pretend that the bonds on my wrists are her hands, but I can’t get the illusion to take hold. Charlie’s skin was never so rough. Well… maybe it is now. Just like my own grotesquely clawed hands, which remind me every day that a part of my tormentors is inside me now, and that they can turn me into anything and there’s nothing I can do to stop them. Even if they let me go, I doubt I could ever return to my life. Not now that my body is an echo of their evil, and Charlie’s is even worse. That’s my fault. I deserve this fate. And yet, I begged them to release me from it, in the only way I thought they might be cruel enough to accept. They didn’t, of course. These overgrown children want a toy, and I’m the only being stupid enough to dabble in their realm and leave myself and the people close to me vulnerable to them. Then again… am I? ~*~​ When they took Charlie, I begged them. When they took my hope of saving her, my human hands, and my will to live, I begged them again. When my humanity was lost, there was no one left to beg. My captors did not take it from me; I gave it away myself. For years, I held a selfish hope that they would trick some other poor fool into coming here. I imagined that, with the power I’d absorbed from the throne on which I’m imprisoned, I might help their new victim; I could bend the world to improve the newcomer’s odds, guide them to the door that brought me to this room, and perhaps be rewarded with a companion for whose fate I wouldn’t have to blame myself. But they didn’t. It was if my tormentors were deliberately wearing me down, waiting for me to break and do their dirty work for them. Perhaps, since the Codex Umbra was pulled in with me, they have no way to acquire new victims, and they require a human traitor to help them snare more of his kind. I don’t know how long I resisted the temptation. Time moves differently here. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were stretching it out so that a day in the world I left behind lasts a season in this little pocket of Hell. But eventually, as the years wore on, the sound of those damn torches slowly ate into my mind, my ears begged for the sound of a voice, and my skin cried out for another person’s touch, I gave in. Of course, I tried to justify it. I’d been unprepared. I wasn’t strong enough. Maybe a more powerful person would be able to do what I could not, to defeat the beings that held us here and find a way to escape. The delusions we trick ourselves into in the depths of desperation. The first two soldiers I contacted were wise enough to refuse me. The third was all but broken by war, by the public’s harsh reception when he came home, and by his own inability to adapt to civilian life. From his perspective, he had little to lose by accepting one last mission, one I deluded both of us into thinking he had a chance of accomplishing. We were both such fools. As if he could defeat an enemy that neither of us could destroy or even understand. He didn’t even last long enough for them to become a threat. A Deerclops got him first. I told myself the next one would succeed. I kept on telling myself that until he was stabbed to death by a spiked tentacle. And then, as my guilt crushed down on me, I told myself they deserved it. After all, I had survived, hadn’t I? I had faced the same odds they had, and triumphed. They’d died because they were weak and stupid, not because I had selfishly lured them to their deaths. When the suicidal ex-Marine was eaten by a Bearger, I kept telling myself that. When the martial arts student was cut down by Charlie after entering The Constant out of compassion for me, I continued repeating my excuses. As I watched the victims who thought they’d be rescuers die, one after another, I ceased to find comfort in the hope that they’d succeed, and tried instead to find some solace in the days before their deaths. I’d spent so long watching an unpopulated world turn without me that compared to that, seeing another person repeat my fight for survival felt almost like being alive again. I could nearly recall the feeling of machinery coming to life in my hands, of grass beneath my feet, of a rabbit’s soft fur before it gave its life to prolong mine. In the brief moments when I was able to communicate with the people I deceived, I could almost feel that I was part of another person’s life again. What am I saying? Of course I was a part of their life. The part that led it to its end. Not that I could admit that to myself. Not before I went numb. As I spread my focus to targets from other walks of life, people who knew nothing of combat or survival, I told myself I was simply trying a new strategy – maybe someone with a different perspective would be able to repeat my success and surpass it. Besides, this mission was important, wasn’t it? After all, the creatures that control The Constant were still a threat. If they weren’t defeated once and for all, who knew what they might eventually do. As if there was any realistic chance that that mission could be accomplished. As the years went by, the creeping rot of desensitization started to strip away the need to lie to myself, and reality began to sink it. And that reality was, I was bored. I was tired of watching trained fighters fail, so I wanted to try something new. That’s what my most recent victims died for. Not for a hope that faded years ago, but a final attempt to feel alive by a broken husk that cannot die. As long as I’m bound to the Nightmare Throne, it’s easier if I don’t think of myself as anything more than that. Trying to be something other than what my jailers wanted me to become takes energy that ran out long ago. Of course, that’s probably just another excuse. I should’ve stopped before those became necessary, and just let my soul decay with what little grace it still had instead of corrupting it further. I shouldn’t have given them the satisfaction of listening to me beg, or of hearing the final words and screams of the people I got killed. Hearing, and… I shudder to think of it. I knew they were watching, listening… but I never foresaw that they would record those people’s final sounds, mash them into a gratingly cheery tune, and then put that horrible song on a phonograph that never stops playing. “The cold! It burns!” “Heh… this is what I get for trusting voices on the radio.” “I’m sorry… Elizabeth…” “This heat is unbearable.” “EEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!” I’m starting to forget which voice belongs to who. I can’t even remember how many people I’ve lured here, how many lives I’ve ruined. Is it because there were too many to count, or because if I remembered, what little remains of my conscience would destroy what’s left of my mind? In the end, knowing won’t change anything. I’d rather not think about them. The sins of the past cannot be undone, and my latest misdeed taunts me with the hope that my crimes might finally pay. When the redhead agreed to enter this world, tempted by the promise of a stage that would suit the persona that’s devoured her mind, I thought she was just another sap who had fallen for a clever conman’s lies. But now, I’ve started to believe that out of all the people I brought here, she is the first to truly receive what she wanted from our deal. She threw herself into the task of survival with savage gusto, slaughtering anything that challenged her spear. Her foolish devotion to her diet, combined with her fragile mind and reckless love of battle, have sometimes left her clinging to life by the skin of her carnivorous teeth, and yet somehow, she still lives. Several times, I’ve watched her body break, only to be made whole again by an effigy or enchanted stone. Just as mine was, more times than I can recall. When she found my door, my spirits rose. She passed it by, and they sank again – only to flicker back to life when she returned a year later with a defiant gleam in her eye. The warrior desires a challenge, and with a puppet shaped like me dangling from their strings, I know that our mysterious captors will give her one. They’ll pretend that I don’t want her here, when in truth, her arrival is the only thing I can still realistically hope for. They don’t want to lose their favorite toy, so they will try to deter her. But perhaps, if she proves as resilient as me, they’ll decide they’ve found a worthy new plaything to twist and break. Better her than me. It isn’t a matter of deserving anymore. She doesn’t deserve to be conned into this. I don’t deserve to be freed. But I no longer care. I’m beyond feeling guilty for my victims’ deaths, and long past wishing that one of them would offer the friendship I’ve forgotten how to feel. My need for conversation and physical contact has withered along with my morals and my soul. I’ve been losing pieces of myself for… heh. Track of time is just one more thing I’ve lost. If she can destroy the pieces that still tie me to this world, I don’t care how little of me is left to pass into the next one, or if that lingering fragment is sent to Hell. It can’t be worse than this. I just want to be anywhere other than here. I won’t beg her for it, though. I’m done with begging. It never works anyway. She will do what she will do, and I doubt that any facts or reason will sway her stubborn mind. She doesn’t seem very smart, and I almost wish I wasn’t smart enough to know that no matter what she does, she’ll just be delaying the inevitable. Reality is like that, sometimes. For now, I’ll continue to wait and watch. I think I’ve said enough. Author’s note: In the game, the phonograph simply plays a jaunty but grating tune. However, given the fact that all the characters are voiced by musical instruments, it has been theorized that the music is composed of various characters' voices and screams. ​Given Maxwell's tendency to lure people into The Constant, it would stand to reason that the voices he's forced to listen to 24/7 are those of his past victims.

[gamerdamemedia]

Tales From Fallen London: Abandon All Human Decency, Ship & Hope Who Enter Here

I wrote this vignette 2 years ago based on a failed playthrough of Sunless Sea.  It was a lot of fun to write, so I thought I’d post it here.

My first unlucky avatar was Captain Sibeal Delauncay.  The good Captain, as she preferred to be called at port, was a natural philosopher by trade, & took an old steamer ship, along with her faithful Surgeon, feral & nearly comatose ferret as the ship’s mascot (clearly doomed us from the start) & a crew of eight zailors (no I did not misspell that) out into the dark sea.  Her goal?  To gather enough tales from her adventures to one day retire & publish a novel.

Things began simply enough for Captain Sibeal.  She picked up a passenger who wanted to be taken to a tomb colony, presumably to die — there isn’t exactly a lot of land in Unterzee — & was tasked by the admiralty to check on the ports in the area.  Captain Sibeal chose to remain close to the main port, but did travel to several close islands, learning Secrets that she shared with her Surgeon to gain more insight in the workings of their dark world.  She gained the attention of Zee’s three gods.  She spent one evening in port with a Dapper Gentleman who bid her passionately to keep his locket with her.  She quickly replace her feral mascot with a grumpy cat that snuck aboard at first opportunity who somehow made their cannons work better.  She shot a lot of giant crabs & even a pirate ship once.

It’s hard to say where things began to take a turn for the worse.  Perhaps she should’ve been more adventurous in her explorations.  Perhaps she should have been more diligent in following up with quests.  Perhaps she shouldn’t have agreed to smuggle goods for a dark stranger.  Perhaps she shouldn’t have accidentally spent all her meager money on flares when she meant to buy fuel & then couldn’t sell them back for even close to the same price as she bought them!

Who can say?  What can be explained is the series of events that ultimately led to her death.

After running out of fuel & supplies, Captain Sibeal weighed her options & ultimately decided to turn to the gods for help.  It was better than waiting to die.  At least in her travels she had learned a few Secrets, & she whispered this to Salt, the god of horizons.  Rather than bestowing them with much-needed supplies, a white zee-bat, unlike the normal one they kept on the ship for scouting, lighted upon the railing.  Captain Sibeal stared at the zee-bat while it stared back, transfixed by its crystalline eyes.  Her gaze followed as it suddenly flew away into the darkness.  Hearing the crew gasp, Captain Sibeal came to her senses, only to discover that they were now in a new place.  The accursed Kingeater’s Castle, all the way on the other side of the known map!

Accursed god of secrets!  How did this help!?  What good was it to bring them here?  After finding nothing of use on the island, they set out from the desolate castle, praying their meager fuel holds out.  Not wanting to waste anything, the Captain sends out the zee-bat to search for land.  It returned, bringing a report of a place called Saviour’s Rock not far north.  The name offered hope, & the Captain directs the ship northward.

Heading north, they enter the Sea of Statues.  Giant hands protrude from the murky water, as if reaching to the forgotten surface.  Or perhaps they wish to pull the foolish humans down with them.  What lies below, waiting in the unseen?  The crew grows restless in the dark, as they’ve had to douse the running lights to conserve fuel.  It’s a risky gamble.  They need fuel to get out, but will it matter if they’re all insane?

It turns out not to matter either way, as they’ve barely cleared the castle when the engines die.  This time, she turned to Stone.  The only female of the three gods (assuming gods even have physical forms to have genders), perhaps she would hear the lady captain’s plea.  But rather than an offering of Secrets, Captain Sibeal offered of herself.  A great wound for the Wounded.

Thankfully, the Surgeon is able to efficiently bandage the wound.  After, Captain Sibeal paces the deck, anxious that there has been no hint of a reply either way in response to her offering.  Silent gods can be just as terrifying as when they speak.  Suddenly, the engineer runs up to her.  Expecting more bad news, Captain Sibeal is thrilled when he reports, “Captain – there’s more fuel in the bins than I realized.  Just a little.  I’d looked three times. I’m sure it wasn’t there before. But now – it might be enough -“

Silently thanking Stone for offering useful aid (was transporting them here Salt’s idea of helping, or was he just being a jerk?), the crew sets off from the desolate place.  But it wasn’t long before the lack of supplies began to take its toll on the crew.  When the first crewman died, the bo’sun offered a terrible choice: prepare the body for the funeral, or prepare it for a meal?

The idea is tempting, but Captain Sibeal knew order had to be maintained.  The crew was already on the edge of terror.  Having them feast on the flesh of their fallen comrade would only push them further over the tenuous border of sanity.  She dismisses the bo’sun.  They had to retain their humanity.

Sadly, while the crew is giving out, the engine gives out first.  Again, they are stranded without fuel.  It crosses her mind to use a flare, but sadly she’d sold them back.  And this far out, what are the odds that would do any good.  The only knowledge Captain Sibeal possess that might be a boon is her attention of the gods.  Salt was less than no help, & the Captain wasn’t too eager to turn to Stone again so soon.  Besides, as weak as she was from the hunger, Captain Sibeal wasn’t sure she had the strength for another offering.  Storm is the only one left.  The angriest of the three.   Sadly, it wouldn’t be the Captain making the sacrifice this time.

The only fair way to decide is to draw lots.  The loser is swiftly & painlessly killed on the deck.  The few remaining crew watch on silently as his blood slowly spills over the edge of the deck & out into the sea.  No one can stand to look at the other.  Suddenly, there’s a loud crack, & a stalactite falls from the sky, crashing onto their deck.  At first it seems they’ve only drawn the ire of the Storm, given the massive hole in the deck & the second dead crewman.  But as they examine the stalactite, they discover it’s made of ore that can substitute for coal.  They will live another day, but the price of that survival is growing increasingly high.

Captain Sibeal frequently finds her mind wandering.  Thoughts of evenings at the pub, enjoying warm meals & decent wine parade through her mind.  Soon it becomes all she can think about, almost an obsession.  When she begins to eye one of the starving crew, Captain Sibeal shakes herself to her senses.  She must do something to stave off the madness.  She fears what will happen otherwise.

But as more times passes, & more of the crew begin to die, Captain Sibeal knows she has to do something to save her crew.  The inevitable has set in.  The creeping sense that they won’t make it out of here alive gnaws at her mind worse than the blasted, useless ferret.  And if that’s the case, then Captain Sibeal vows to fight as hard as she can against fate, the gods, or whoever else tries to stand in their way.  So when she receives word of more dead zailors, she orders the bo’sun to do what’s necessary.  The Captain salves what little is left of her humanity with the knowledge that they were already dead, & twas better for their bodies to feed the crew than the sea.  But is there coming back from such a point?

The deck is far more silent now.  The only crew remaining is the Captain, the Surgeon, the cat, & two zailors.

Finally, they reach Saviour’s Rock, & there’s a brief moment of hope that their suffering was worth it.  But there is no salvation to be found.  Unless that salvation is in the terrifyingly giant, hairy arms of the spiders scurrying about.  As Captain Sibeal stares at the monstrous webs crossing above them all hope fades like a puff of smoke on the non-existent wind.

All that matters is trying to survive.   So when she sees her crew eating the few rats that remain, she turns a blind eye toward it.  They’d already eaten their mates.  What was a few vermin?  Sadly, for some reason she can’t eat the ferret.

As the engines sputtered into silence, & the warm glow of the lantern fades into nothingness, Captain Sibeal accepts the inevitable.  They must abandon ship.  In such a desolate place, the odds that any will survive in their current state is highly unlikely.

Thus was the fate of Captain Sibeal Delauncay.

[sweetestlittledarling]

To Good Friends

For @jim-news‘s Ego Christmas. Prompt: Candy Cane

I almost feel this story would have worked for the prompt of eggnog (and you’ll notice I made a reference to something Jack said about making eggnog in there). I apologize if this is a little bit sloppy as I really wanted to get this done for the day it was supposed to be up and I stayed up really late so yeah...

This was inspired by a story I read here on tumblr about how Dapper Jack (or Jameson as I’m calling his past persona) might have known Damien back in the day. I will find the title of that fanfic later as it is super late and I really gotta get to bed. I hope you enjoy this bit of fluff I wrote.

P.s. I decided to put this story right after my other story ‘Let it Snow’...

Everyone knew Dapper Jack as the quiet, friendly one. What not everyone knew was he used to be someone else. Sometimes he even forgets that fact himself, deciding just to focus on who he is now rather than who he was back then. He suffered less that way. But like the fallen snow, his quiet held back memories and standing there in the snow looking up at the turrets of the large snow fortress, looking up at two familiar faces that he remembers even though they probably would never remember him. He couldn’t help but allow himself to remember…

             “Hey Jameson, could I get a little help?”

             “Oh sorry!” Jameson puts down his pen and quickly rushes over to help you with the string of lights you are currently trying to wrap around the tree. Up till now he’d been sitting there, working on his writing. He was a quiet sort of guy, most of the time wishing to be on his own which didn’t win him many friends at the dorm. If it weren’t for you and Damien you are pretty sure that he would probably spend most of his time locked away just writing. But he’s a friendly guy, and you like having him around. With his help you manage to finish stringing the lights.

             “There!” you say in triumph. You have to say that the three of you do some excellent work. Getting the common room ready for the annual dorm holiday party has been no easy task but you have managed to pull it off. “Now all we need is for Damien to get back with the eggs for the eggnog and we’ll be all set.”

             “Don’t know how you manage to do pull this off year after year,” Jameson admits, patting you on the shoulder.

             “Just takes a little organization and a little bit of hard work.”

             “Guess that’s why your studying to become a lawyer,” Jameson admits, “and I’m just the lowly writer.”

             “Oh, come on now Jameson, you’re an excellent writer,” you say, “your work is amazing.”

             “Yeah well, try telling my father that,” Jameson sighs as he walks back to the sofa where he left his pen and pad of paper. He picks it up looking down at the words he’s written. “He’s convinced that becoming and author is foolish. Tells me that I should just come home and start working for the family business, making whiskey.”

             “Well your family does make fine whiskey,” you admit. You remember the bottle Jameson had shared with you that one night after midterms. Most of that night was a blur, it was that good.

             “Yeah, we do,” Jameson sighs, “I just wish I had passion for it. I wish I could please my da’ but my heart just isn’t in it. Not like it is with writing. I just wish I could make my old man proud ya know?”

             You do know. Your family has been telling you that you should just give up this dream of becoming a lawyer and to move back home so that you are not so far away. Sure, you don’t have a family legacy to uphold but trying to make your family proud was something you knew well. You place a friendly hand on Jameson’s arm, giving it a little squeeze. “I’m sure that your father will come around one day, Jameson,” you tell him. “Maybe after you become an award-winning author who writes books that sell millions of copies!”

             He chuckles as he rolls his eyes. “Yeah if I ever manage to get published, which I think will be never,” he sighs. But then he smiles. “But thank ya’ for believing in me. It’s nice to know someone does.”

             You smile back. “Hey as I tell Damien all the time, I got your back Chief.” That’s when the door opens and in comes Damien with his bags from the grocery.

             “Here are the eggs,” Damien says as he produces the item in question, handing them to you.

             “Good, and now gentle men we see if my aunt’s magical eggnog recipe actually lives up to all the hype.” You walk over to the refreshment table and crack several eggs into the punch bowl where you have all the other ingredients already mixed together nicely. You mix in the eggs, sprinkle in a bit of cinnamon, and pray that this won’t go the way of the bad clam chowder incident (which still makes you a bit queasy just thinking about it). You ladle some of the eggnog into glasses handing it to both Damien and Jameson before taking a cup yourself. “Alright, the moment of truth,” you say. You all clink your glasses for luck before taking a sip. It doesn’t taste horrible but-

             “It tastes kind of like cinnamon milk,” Damien muses.

             “It has been a while since I actually had auntie’s eggnog,” you confess, “maybe as a kid I thought it tasted better.”

             “Wait hold on!” Jameson says, placing his cup down with a big grin on his face. “I know exactly what will help!” He rushes out the door and only a few minutes later comes back with a bottle in his hand. “Me Ma’ sent me some of the good stuff. Said I should share it with my friends over here in the states. No better time than the present!” He pours the in the whole bottle and you ladle out some more. You all clink and then take a sip.

             “Mmmm,” you hum, the alcohol instantly warming you and making the eggnog taste far better. “Let me just say, that right now I consider your mother a saint among women!”

             “Truly a wonderful woman,” Damien agrees. “Oh, and I almost forgot!” He quickly goes back to the shopping bags and produces a box. “I stopped by the candy store on my way back, figured we all deserved something sweet,” he says as he opens it.

             “Ooo, candy canes!” you say in delight as you reach in and grab one. “Man, it feels like it’s been forever since I’ve had one of these.” You pull one out and hand it to Jameson. “Here ya go Jameson, sweets for one of the sweetest guys I know.”

             “Aw, thank ya’ kindly,” he says, blushing a bit. “And I want to make a toast.” He raises his glass in the air, a big smile on his face. “To the both of you, two friends who have been for me over these years of being away from home! I want to thank you and pray that we continue to be friends for the rest of our days!”

             “Yes, the best of friends!” Damien echoes raising his glass.

             “To friends!” you say, raising your glass as well. The sounds of clinking glasses fills the air…

             “Dapper? Are you alright man?”

             Warfstache’s voice brings Dapper back to reality as he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns and looks at the pink man’s worried face. He smiles, as a sign for his friend not to worry. He is glad when Warfstache smiles back. Looking around Dapper realizes that Anti has disappeared, probably off to lick his wounds. He’s pretty sure that he’ll be back at some point, never can keep the king of chaos down for long. Dapper will have to make sure to remind himself to go and check on him later, maybe make him some hot cocoa.

             “Well, it’s been fun guys, but I think it’s time for me to head home.”

             Dapper looks up as you come out of the ice fortress, followed by Dark. You are still wearing Dark’s coat which makes Dapper smile. It feels so good to see both you and Damien together again…even if it isn’t really Damien and you aren’t really you…but then again with any of the Egos can anyone really call themselves who they were in the past. Feeling a bit nostalgic Dapper snaps his fingers and produces three candy canes. He hands ones to each of you.

             “Aw, thank you, Dapper,” you say.

             “Ooo, candy!” Warfsache says, giving his cane a long lick before sucking it into his mouth like a toddler.

             Dark takes the candy cane, eyeing Dapper a little bit. Dapper wonders if Dark knows his secrets maybe even remember him. It really doesn’t matter to Dapper at that moment as he is just happy to be amongst his friends once again.