#and i think its making me hit a bump where since im learning im more aware of my mistakes
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empyreasheart · 1 year ago
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hm. i know i talked about drawing more and expanding on my kh ocs after finals, but i seem to have hit a creative rut. and unfortunately become extremely hyperfixated on trolls
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presidentkamala · 2 years ago
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Ok 2022 wrap up. First the good:
* killed it at work and on schedule for a huge jump in salary in january 2023
* finally let go of the worst years of my life by *gasp* leaning in2 and committing to my present self???
*moved to a banging new apartment WITH kitchen island
*volunteered for midterm campaigns
*went to chicago, cincinnati, honolulu and st. louis
*READ like 80% more this year than last year (the bar was the like 2 books i picked at and didnt finish last year but still improvement)
*more consistent with skincare routine
*hit 50k in my one savings acct in accordance w financial goals
THE BAD:
*didnt learn a new language, instrument, to code, pottery, or anything. Was grinding at work and not much else
*health took a backseat: too much doordash no fitness plan or even much activity
*didnt make any new friends
*stagnated in other areas. No volunteering for causes i care abt or even at community garden. mUST CHANGE THIS IN 2023
*struggled to stay consistent with much of anything. Scatterbrained for most of the year
THE UGLY:
*lost all muscle tone due to nothing other than lack of care
*no motivation. No real direction. No real sense or vision of the future i want and am working towards. No effort in the places where it counted
*phone and screen addiction. BIG TIME. losing hrs to this that i should be using to get out there and meet ppl and actually improve my quality of life LOL.
*deep-seated suspicion that im not well-liked at work bore out late this year. Not super pleased since that's been my main focus. Probably connected to this other stuff.
*loss of basic intellectual curiosity. In complete survival mode for the first 8 months of the year. Self is almost unrecognizable in many ways.
THE RESOLUTIONS:
I've spent the month of december devoting myself to prepping for the big three resolutions that i feel will have the biggest impact on my immediate health and wellbeing. I did a recipe plan for every day of december and gave myself a zero doordash/restaurant rule but no other real restrictions on what recipes i make and that's gone super well in terms of re-integrating cooking regularly back into my life and even enjoying it! I think in february im going to start paying more attention to making sure im incorporating the plate method to ensure im getting the right proportion of protein veg and carbs into my diet but for now its all about finding recipes that taste good and that i can sustainably replicate etc. I've been doing a lot to make sure im brushing my teeth and doing my skincare routine at least every morning so im going to start bumping up my evening care in January as well. I also downloaded the none2run app to get me up to a 5k which at least lays out the calendar of what i need to do and im on week 2?? I think of the beginner exercises before starting the runs in earnest. I've deep cleaned my apartment and kitchen and have been regularly washing my clothes and doing the dishes instead of letting it all pile up. All of these changes in routine have been gradual over the last 5 weeks or so but its already paying dividends and i love the idea of prepping for resolutions and planning them out so i don't lose track as the year progresses:
*Journal at least once a week (minimum 52 entries by this time next year)
*Develop nourishing recipes you actually enjoy and can replicate. Limit restaurants to once a week (non-holiday) or 3 times a week (with holidays)
*complete none2run 5k.
*sign back up for barre classes at least once a week (non-travel)
*on work travel, complete youtube pilates vid at least twice a week
*this is the year to tackle skin texture and pores. Set up derm appt in January
*complete liftoff program for beginner weightlifting beginning in June.
*volunteer for minimum 2 hrs each week. For anything.
*volunteer for dems at least once this year.
*SEE A FUCKING PSYCHIATRIST
*take one extra-curricular class
*check in quarterly on goals
*take one international trip
2023: We are being specific and intentional!!!!!
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icarusbuck · 3 years ago
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here's the thing...
just because buck and taylor are dating doesn't mean bucktaylor is endgame, especially when you consider buck's dating history.
in the pilot we see that buck tends to put himself out there and has a number of hookups, but in the very first one he tries to take that further by asking her out and gets shut down. so from the start he isn't just looking for sex, he just keeps ending up in bed with people who are. enter abby
right off the bat, abby is a break from the norm. she doesnt even want to meet him in person at first. they form a connection before they ever hook up (and one could argue phone sex is even a little more intimate in some ways because there's an added layer of vulnerability to it). she shows buck how far emotional investment can elevate a relationship. unfortunately, she can't invest nearly as much as buck can, and ends up leaving him high and dry when he's ready to take the next step with her.
lesson learned: he needs someone he can keep pace with. enter taylor (phase i)
at first taylor seems like a good, safe bet, but buck is once more seeking connection ("call me?") and taylor's career is taking off - which is just so sexy of her, i might add - and their false start leads them nowhere. but it does have the benefit of helping him put abby out of his mind. enter ali
i dont care what anyone says, ali and buck were cute together. the scene where they're touring the loft? adorable. ali helps buck move forward from abby in multiple ways, including getting him out of that goddamn apartment and into his own place. they operated well together, shared equal footing, had great chemisty; everything buck had with abby, but with someone in the same phase of their life.
by the end of season 3 we know that while buck may have moved forward from abby, he hasn't fully moved on. closure is a powerful, powerful thing. and man, can i just say im such a sucker for "right place wrong time" love stories? age gap aside, i was alright with buckabby until we learn she ghosted him in season 2.
in the end, while ali cares deeply for buck, knowing he's always in danger and seeing it for herself are just too much to stomach. lesson learned: he needs someone who will be able to handle the stress of dating a firefighter. enter taylor (phase ii)
disaster bis are back, baby! they start off as friends, but something is off from the beginning. buck jumps the gun, dropping hints that hes looking for more. taylor jumps the gun too, showing up to a double date thinking it's just a hookup. there is a significant lack of communication between them.
even before they get together we see that taylor often retreats into her own head when they're running on different wavelengths, leaving him behind instead of meeting him halfway. even dragging him along would be better; at least that would show she values his input.
we see this displayed most prominently in the treasure hunt; they have a couple moments where they're perfectly in sync (which visibly bothers eddie, and god i love that for me) and others where taylor hits the ground running and leaves buck standing in a cloud of dust.
we didnt get to see their honeymoon phase (tragic; i may not ship bucktaylor but i sure as hell like seeing hot people make out, bless you season 5 premiere) but if we extrapolate from monday's episode, buck is still resorting to using his body to get her attention - and even that fails sometimes.
we havent seen them hit any bumps just yet, but i think bucktaylor will reach a crossroads sooner rather than later. there will come a time when buck needs her to be there for him emotionally, and taylor either won't be able to OR she'll try, and it won't be what buck needs.
the lesson he hasn't learned yet: relationships need equal footing.
relationships that dont work out are important. they teach you what kind of person is right for you, the kind of person you want by your side forever. bucktaylor needs to run its course, or she will just end up taking abby's place.
and the thing is....
buck already has someone in his life keeping pace with him. buck already has someone in his life who understands why he puts himself in danger. buck's already (almost perfectly) in sync with someone who has been his equal since the day they met - and even went far enough to make that somewhat legally binding.
you can have my back any day. you could have mine.
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smallstoriesiwrite · 4 years ago
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The Dragon and her Knight
a/n: before I start this. This will be my first time writing a short story that I thought of. So please help with feedback!as well! its very long! its been awhile since i wrote something like years so please bear with me! remember yall are loved!
Tenya x Female!reader 
“We will be family day tomorrow remember tell all your family to come so we can all get to know each other.” Aizawa said
All the class groans
“Hey I'm just the messenger. Principle Nezu requested it for Class 1-A. So please bring your families. And I understand if some can’t make it. But please request they come. Okay class is over for today. Remember to call to see if they are coming and that it’s all day. Class dismiss”
Everyone started packing up when Shoji approached Y/N.
“Hey y/n you excited for tomorrow?”
“Honestly Sho I am. You will get to see my 3 older siblings and my parents again! They are always so busy with the agency we never see eachother.my father is even taking the day off.”
“That’s amazing! I would love to meet your parents again!”
You smile remembering how Shoji met your parents when you fell ill during Flu season and your family came and visited you while Shoji took care of you.
While walking towards the door someone bumped into you hard as you fell to the floor.
“Y/N?! Are you okay?” Shoji asked while helping you up
“Yeah Im fine sho now who the fuck bumped into me that hard ?”
“I must have not seen you there L/N. I figured because you're not up to my level?” Iida said.
“Guess who still hasn't learned how to fix that cursing problem you have L/N? Even as kids you used to curse like a sailor. You really have no manners do you?”
Smirking you said
“I may have a cursing problem Iida. But god knows I don’t have a stick up my ass now do I? And from what I hear you're just mad from your actions.”
“Now why would I be mad?”
“My family is all coming tomorrow and your precious rich daddy can’t take a day off of work now could he?” You say tauntingly
“For your information all my family is coming along tomorrow as well. Even my brother.”
“Ah the laid back Iida is coming too! Wow must be an accomplishment?! Here let me give you the pity award” You say sarcastically
Tenya growled and walked away while saying
“See your family tomorrow L/N. Tomorrow will be an interesting day.”
You rolled your eyes and walked to your dorm with Shoji.
“Tell me why again you and Tenya are always at each other’s throats about y’all’s family’s? “ Shoji says
“You see love. Me and Iida grew up together and were the best of friends. We did everything together from helping both of our older brothers with their suits to eating family dinners together. “ you say while arriving at your dorm and unlocking it
“Our older brothers were best of friends and so did my sister and brother got along with Iidas older brother. We were always neck in neck in school and Quirk power. Until one day my older brother Kyo (I’m just gonna name the siblings and if that’s your name I’m so sorry😭) was top of his class and was beating Iidas brother in both hero work and school wise. It was never more than a friendly rivalry between them but our families took it seriously. Iidas family found out that Kyo was excelling faster than Tensie. And surely enough my brother graduated top of his class and knowing how to control his quirk.”
Going into your dorm you set your backpack down and Shoji did the same. Starting to change into normal clothes while shoji did as well. It was so common for shoji left clothes because he always slept over.
While changing you continued
“So when graduation came along both of our families decided to have dinner with each other before having our own big parties  separately. While eating dinner at Kyos and Tensies favorite restaurant our families started to compare our brother's work and every time they tried to one up each other until finally Iidas' family said “You know what? Our sons don’t need to hang out with your kind. We are better than you all and our Agency and money proves it. You don’t have enough money to raise 4 Children! Ha you guys are low lives we will never associate with again.” According to Kyo, Athena and Laxus
Tensie defended us and tried to apologize but it didn’t slide with my parents. We left and ever since we have been rivals. We were never the richest like them. We worked for our big agency. My father and Kyo run the Agency.
It has been a rivalry between us as well. That’s why I study for long hours and as well practice my Quirk with Kyo Athena and Laxus when they come around to visit or present. They all graduated top number one. I want to do that as well.
Iida is just a reminder from my past that tamiles like them exist. They are born into riches while we work for ours. I can never forgive his family for what they said to mine. You know how much I love them. My family is everything to me. We might have arguments and disagreements about my future and the agency but at the end of the day they are my headache to deal with and honestly I don’t mind.” You say smiling and looking at Shoji
“But you do remember that time you lost a dare and kissed Tenya that one night I thought for sure you were over this rivalry. I swear every time I bring it up-“
You cut him off by throwing a pillow at him
“STOPPPPPP WE DON'T TALK ABOUT IT! IT WAS A STUPID DARE IT MEANT NOTHING!!!”
He laughs and says
“SUREEEE you came back a squealing mess and so unsure of your feelings that night to my room.”
I sighed and looked at the grown
“You know I can’t love him. My family wouldn’t approve and you know they are my world.”
“But n/n you need to realize that it’s your future. And your love. You love him don’t you.”
Sadly nodding
“I do. But he hates me. He doesn’t see me as a potential lover. He sees me as a rival he needs to crush because his family says so. My family wanted me to have that mentality as well. But for the love of fuck we held hands growing up and he gave me flowers because he thought it would go pretty un my hair.”
You say while walking to a small box of memories and pulling up photos of Tenya and you as children and dried flowers you pressed.
“I’ll just love from afar Sho.”
He nods and pulls you into a warm hug.
“Remember bestie I’m here for you. Anytime anywhere and if I have to knock some sense into Iida when he’s mean to you. Even if I don’t like hitting my classmates I will do it for you.”
Hugging tighter you said
“Thank you really bestie thank you.”
“Now let’s get to studying. We need to review for next week's test. But we can listen to music and dance around as well.” You said smiling while pulling away from the hug
Shoji nods and grabs his work while you turn up the music.
——time skip to next day brought to you by my raging headache and wanting to eat as well my spelling errors———————-
“Hey y’all made it!” You said running towards your family
“Hell yeah we did we miss your stupid face!” Laxus said while hugging you
“Haha I miss your dumb face as well.”
You said while pulling away from the hug
“Hi mom hi dad “ you said smiling and hugging both
“Hi my love, how are you? Are you eating well? Not forcing yourself too much are you? And Shoji, where is he?” Mom said in a hurry
“Women, she will never understand you. Calm down, I'm sure they are fine. Right love?” Dad says
“Yes dad I am, don't worry mom I’m okay I’m healthy and breathing no I’m not giving myself too much and Shoji is just with his parents In his room before we meet up in class for the activities.” I say while looking over to see Athena and Kyo walking our way.
“Tell me again you sleep deprived child why are we here again? Family day was eject a thing back when we went to school” Kyo said while leaning into a hug
“Nice to see you too Kyo and I don’t know honestly. Guess to get closer. Dawg we've been through so much shit together as a class I think In principle eyes we need to like to know each other on a deep level I guess.” You say while pulling away
“Well beats me honestly it gives us time to relax with you and spend time with our small child we raised now come here and give your sister a hug.” Athena said while giving you a bone crushing hug
“Look at her now she was Bitching the whole way saying she was hungry and didn’t want to relive her U.A. memories. Now she’s hugging you.” Kyo said while wrapping his arm around Laxus.
We all laughed when we heard
“I see you still have a cursing problem L/N. You haven’t changed since U.A.” Tenie said
“Well you see Engine arms we love to keep it real with the family and no filter who do we need to please with our manners? Now you can just simply ignore our “vulgar language”now can you?” Kyo said tauntingly
There was a dead silent between them when Tensie said
“I’m just fucking with you Kyo. How you been, haven’t seen you in months brother.” Tensie said while hugging Kyo laughing.
“I’ve been good! traveling to America for hero work and Singapore. How are you?”
“Even since the accident I’ve been in my wheelchair but I’m still helloing the old man with work at the agency. Mister and Misses L/n hope you guys are well. “ Tensie said
My parents simply nodded there head with a straight face
“The Devil Dragon herself. How are controlling your powers going?” Tensie said to me
“I’ve gotten better. Athena has shown me ways to control them better and so has Laxus and Kyo at times.”
“Now that’s good! I say take better points from Athena. They don’t give her that name for nothing. Now do they?” Tensie says flirty to Athena like who simply rolled her eyes and said
“ in your dreams Iida” while smirking
“Ah so I’ll dream of it tonight.” Tensie said and laughed
Which left Athena a blushing mess
Before Tensie can talk again I hear
“Son, why did you wander off again?! We told you to meet us at the Classroom.”  Mister Iida said while approaching us
“Yeah Tensie, we thought you got lost?” Tenya said as well
“I'm a fine father. I was just saying hello to Kyo and his family. And how could I get lost Tenya I came here to school. I can only go so far with my wheelchair.” Tensie said
Our family locked eyes and said
“Ah The L/N family I’m so surprised they let you children come to this school after your first son.” Mister Iida said
“Well I have you know Iida, my daughter and Son graduated top number one in their class as well. And our last daughter is not too far behind. I hear from Eraser that she’s number one in her class. And her Quirk is more lasting and controlling than anyone’s” my father said while stepping up
“You see Tenya isn’t too far behind and I’m positive he will beat your daughter. And her devil form.” Mister Iida said while giving me a side eye
I rolled my eyes and grabbed my dads hand
“Come on dad. Let’s go do the activities and see around.”
“Okay love let’s go.” He said not even saying nothing to the Iidas while I spoke up to Tenya
“Keep your father on a damn leash or i'll send him to a nursing home.” While bumping into him harshly
[time skip]
After a day of fun activities and hanging out with Shoji and his parents everyone decided to meet up in class to have the introduction part over with.
While everyone introduced their family my name came up.
“Y/n your turn “ Aizawa said
While dragging my parents and siblings up there I said
“Hey guys you know me Y/N I am the youngest of 4. There is my brother Kyo you may know as “The Fire Dragon” he is the oldest. Then there is Athena who y’all may know as “The Wind Dragon” who is second oldest. Then there is Laxus who you may know as “The Thunder dragon” and lastly me who happens to be “the devil dragon” us 4 beautiful babies came from our mother Lilac and our father Ivan. Together we all run Dragon Slayer Industry. Any questions?”
Someone spoke up and said
“Why does your name end with dragon?”
Kyo spoke up and said
“When we activate our Quirk our facial features slowly change into a dragon form. We saw that in the patterns of myself maturing into my Quirk along with everyone. You see, our cheek has scales at times when we use our quirk and Wings as well but only if we are fully using our powers. It differs for Y/N tho. Due to the fact her transformation is more lengthy and more levels towards her dragon form. She posses our strongest form of Dragon Slayer which is Devil power.”
I looked down and smiled when my dad speaks up
“She’s the youngest of our 4 children but we love her as much as we love our 3 eldest. They all happen to be our pride and Joy of Dragon Slayer industry.”
We all look up and dad and he gave us a soft smile
After everyone introduces their families and explains their quirks, Principle Nezu stands on Aizawas shoulder and speaks.
“All of the Families and students meet up in the common room of The dorm we are having karaoke night with the families!”
Me and Athena locked eyes and smiled
While Kyo and Laxus groaned and sat their heads on both mine and Athena's shoulders.
“Awwww what’s wrong Lawx? You don’t wanna perform?” I say while scratching his head
“No, because we don’t sing well, you and Thena always sing better than us.” He mumbled into my shoulder
“I mean that’s true but we know our old school songs don’t we Laxus?” Kyo said optimistically while wrapping his arms around Athena's neck
“You guys legit screamed Drivers License with me and Y/n when it came out. What makes y’all think y’all can’t sing?” Athena says while getting up and following the crowd to the common room.
“Did you really sign the driver's license with your sister Kyo?” Tensie said while his family behind him
“Hell yeah I did. It’s manly to scream with your sisters in the car about a breakup song. And I love them too much as well.” Kyo said proudly
“AWWWWWW you love us?!” Me and Athena gushed
“Shut up you guys” kyo says while pushing us
We both laughed and look at tensie
“What song are you planning to sing?” Athena asked
“Well hopefully a duet with my brother but if not if you want I can do a duet with you?” Tensie said
Athena blushed and mumbled
“Yeah sure.”
I smiled and quickly looked at Tenya who was just smiling at his brother and kept quite along with his parents.
“Are y’all planning to all sing together at least one song? “ Tensie ask us
“HELL YEAH WE ARE! “Laxus yelled happily
“We already have a song in mind. We relate to it too much so we might sing that one!”
We all nodded in agreement and arrived at the common room. It was big enough for the karaoke machine that was hooked to the t.v.
We all sat down Iidas family not far from us and Shoji's family right near us. Me and Shoji smiled and shared snacks while everyone performed.
So many performances went on From Sero and Ojiro performing
To me and my siblings
To Tensie and Tenya
Me and Shoji as well
And even Tensie and Athena
To even Bakugo surprisingly
Everything was coming to a end when Mina requested After her song finish
“I request Y/N and Iida do a song together to close it off!”
“WHAT?!” Tenya and I screamed
“Yes, that would be an amazing idea!!!” My sister stated
“We second that!” My brothers and Tensie said
All the class started agreeing and even there parents while I looked back at mine and Tenyas parents
“Love. It’s all up to you, we won't be mad at you if you do.” My mom stated
My father was about to say something when kyo covers his mouth
“Go sis. It’s okay. Right old man.” He said forcefully
I sighed and got up and said
“Well are we doing this or not engine legs?”
Tenya nodded and got up as well while we headed to the small stage and we looked at eachother and sighed.
“What song are we gonna do?” Tenya asked quietly
“Well I don’t know we can pick random-“ before I can finish the sentence Tensie and Athena walked up and said
“We already have a song in mind. Here this one” Tensie pointed to “Beauty and the Beast and before you say no one we won’t let you leave so do it good” Athena said smiling and walk off with Tensie
“Let’s get this over with Engine legs. I'm sleepy.” I say while pressing play
The music starts
I sing
Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly
I look at Tenya and he smiled and turned to me
Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Both of us at the same while looking at each other
Beauty and the Beast
Ever just the same
Ever a surprise
Ever as before
And ever just as sure
As the sun will rise
Ever just the same
Tenya singed and looked into the crowd
And ever a surprise
Both while Turning to the crowd
Ever as before
While I sing sweetly
And ever just as sure
As the song goes on we became more emotional and more one with the song
Both looking into eachothers eyes and singed
Bitter-sweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong
We scooted closer together
While still singing Tenya puts his hand on my cheek which makes me melt Into his hands and forget anyone was watching. I felt that the world stopped while looking into his blue beautiful eyes.
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast
Beauty and...
Beauty and the Beast
Singing the last note, Tenya pulled me into a kiss.
It wasn’t a dominant kiss, it was more of a passionate and tender kiss.
Happily kissing back we sadly pulled back for air and realized we were around people.
I turn to see my siblings clapping and jumping around and my mom's smiling face and my dad's soft stern look.
To Tensie clapping and hugging Athena and Iidas parents' shock.
Finally I pulled away from Tenyas grip when I felt being pulled off the stage by Tenya. Dragging me to an empty room.
“Wait Iida what are you doing? Dude let me go” I say while struggling to get out his grip when finally we stopped in an empty study room.
“I'm sorry I pulled you away. It was too much commotion for me to speak to you in private.” Tenya says while looking down
“Why did you kiss me?”
He stayed silent
“Tenya, why did you kiss me?” I say softly
He chuckles and says softly
“I haven’t heard you say my name in years. I forget how smoothly it came off your lips.”
Smiling sadly I grabbed his face and looked at him.
“Huh yeah it’s been awhile hasn’t it. But really why did you kiss me? I understand if it was in the moment and not meant-“
“Wait, you think I didn’t mean it?!” Tenya says with panic in his eyes
“Well with the rivalry and the mean comments and just brutal training against each other  at times I would never think you would like me or even kiss me.”
“I understand where you're coming from but I need to assure you that I do care for you. Even after the stupid and inconsiderate comments my parents said years ago. I never stopped caring for you. This rivalry is so dumb. if I see Tensie falling in love with Athena. Why can't I do the same.” Tenya says
“Wait, you love me?”
“I always have. Since the day we met when Kyo and Tensie had a group project and you came over with Kyo to my house. I remember your beautiful c/e looking so afraid and didn’t want to leave Kyo’s lap because you only knew him. And while I tried to persuade you to come and play with me in the garden I remembered I overheard your mom say your favorite flower was f/f and lucky for us we had it in the garden. I begged my mother to cut the smallest flower there was.” He smiles and continues
“I grabbed the flower carefully and ran back to Tensei's room where you and Kyo were. I sat next to Kyo and I saw your eyes light up in the sight of the flower. I asked if I can put it in your hair and you nodded and I said-“
“It looks beautiful. If you come outside with me we can make a beautiful flower crown for a princess like you.” We say in sink
“You remembered” I say softly
“I always have.” Tenya said
“What do we do now? We both like each other and just want to be happy with each other. Without our parents at our throats.” I say
“Come.” Tenya says while holding my hand
We both ran to the common room and saw nobody and I looked to see that both of our family’s were in my dorm room. I tugged Tenya and pointed to my family. He quickly dragged me with him and while we approached our families we heard our fathers argue.
“If your daughter hadn't come to this school Tenya would be number one!”
“Oh please that is so not true and you know that. Your son wouldn’t be number one even if my own daughter wasn’t here. She got so many recommendations to come here like Endeavor's child!”
While they argued I see our mothers knock on my door
“Y/n sweetie please open the door. We know you're in there with Tenya.” My mom says
“Y/n its okay me and your mother are not mad. Tenya please convince Y/n to open the door.” Tenyas mom said
I see on the floor crouching down my brothers and sister along with Tensie who seemed to be calling our phones. And I remember I left my phone on my bed.
“Mom, I'm right here.” I say
I see my family look at me and Tenya holding hands.
“Oh thank god. We thought you locked yourself in your room.” Athena said while getting up and hugging me
“Oh no I just left my phone on my bed. I just talked to Tenya for a bit and we want to talk to y’all actually.” I say while looking at my family and his.
“And before we go into my room. Please stop the fucking arguing this rivalry is gettin old. Of who’s better or not. Both of you men are reaching an old age, stop arguing and act normal. I will not tolerate it in my room. If y’all do I will spray you with my spray bottle that has water. Got it?” I say while unlocking my door
They nod and all pile into my room.
My siblings sat on my bed with Tensie next to them.
My parents and Tenyas parents sat on the couch I had.
After everyone settled in Tenya spoke
“I understand that this rivalry has affected me and y/n in many ways you wouldn’t understand. From me and Tensie losing our best friends to hating the idea of them succeeding. Tensie matured and became friends again with the y/n family and hell even fell in love with Athena. I always respect you father because you always knew better for me but this is my time to choose and I choose to be friends and more with Y/n.”
“I understand dad that you don’t like me associating with the family who made fun of us because of our wealth and status. And god knows I'm still upset but it was never Tenyas nor Tensei's words. Even misses Idas words. And I know it gives you rage and anger seeing with the son of the man who made fun of us. But dad. Im old enough to choose who to associate with. I know mom is okay with it. But I want you to be okay with this as well. I'm not asking you to forgive them this instant. But please work with Tenya and Tensie they are trying to make amends.” I say with tears in my eyes
“Father. I love her.”
‘Dad I love him.”
We say together
Our father look at us and each other and sighed
“Darling I will try for you.” My dad says
“ I will as well.” Tenyas father said
I smiled and ran to hug my parents.
“Thank you really thank you” I say crying
My parents hugged me back and kissed my forehead
My sister pulled me from my parents grasp and threw me to my brothers who hugged me
“Look at this little devil dragon growing up it was just like yesterday you told us to shut the fuck up.” Laxus said
“If you dont let me breathe ill make sure you don’t have children you fucking dick” I say struggling to breath
When they let me go I see Tensie and Athena hold hands having there cute couple moment
I smiled and walk over to my record player and put the disc vinyl of Cage the elephant and
“Cigarettes Daydreams” played
I look to see my father dance with my mom
As well with Tenyas parents
With our siblings singing
Distracted in the moment i hear
“Can I have this dance” Tenya says
I smiled and slowly danced with him
“ We will make this work. I promise.” Tenya says
“We better. I know I didn’t kiss you as a dare for nothing.” I say while looking up at him
“I remember that kiss. You ran off to Shoji's room while I stood shocked and eventually went back to my dorm and overthink the kiss.”
We both laughed and that’s when I sing
“Soft speak”
“with a mean streak” Tenya singed
“Nearly brought me to my knees” we said softly as we danced to the rest of the song
Do do do do do do You can drive all night Looking for answers in the pouring rain You wanna find peace of mind Looking for the answer If we could find a reason, a reason to change Looking for the answer If you could find a reason, a reason to stay Standing in the pouring rain
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halfhappyhooligan · 4 years ago
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a voltron au? in 2020? it’s more likely than you think
look. LOOK. i know that voltron is stupid and we hate it but lets be honest: everything up until season 3 was pretty good and had lots of potential !!
today i was rewatching voltron and a thought struck me: what if, instead of shiro being cloned, he was chipped and turned to the side of the galra?
so here it is, i did not blink since i thought of this
(warning, i have not seen voltron in a while and this is just knowledge i have stored in my moss brain and stuff i know from rewatching the first season)
au where shiro goes evil bc of what happens @ end of season one instead of the clone thing bc 1) haggar rly could not have made thousands of shiros after bumping into team voltron like what twice? its hella improbable and 2) just… weird
so instead they insert a chip in him that helps them spy and control him just like kuron (the clone) did minus the unlikely storytelling
eventually after the convo with sendak when he was in the pod trying to temp shirp, he does have thoughts about helping zarkon
(“im already infiltrated with the arm, i could just speed up the process by leaving now. save the team the trouble of investing in a leader that’s doomed to fail from the strart.”)
shiro ends up leaving team voltron in season 2 after zarkon goes crazy w the black lion n stuff
^^ this adds to Keith’s reasoning of joining the Blade of Marmora (shiro is his main stability and one of the main reasons he even stuck around with team voltron, so with shiro gone and keith questioning his place as the leader and paladin of the black lion, he decides the BoM is just.. what’s best for him) 
obviously lance isn’t happy with this (“you just told me that i’m a valuable member, now you don’t think YOU are? what logic is that?”)
ofc keith goes anyways
lance becomes paladin of the black lion
allura takes on the red lion
who has blue lion? ...idk this isn’t that thought out (maybe matt after pidge finds her family) (which will happen earlier in the plot since we can forget about the miniplot of black no longer responding to shiro)
enter lotor only this time he has a sidekick and what omg its shiro wow
shiro has that bigger version of his arm that was once offered to him
he’s stronger and scary, but his eyes aren’t the same, he has the strength of a galra but lacks the passion 
in the fight between lotor and zarkon, (and after, of course lots of self doubt and questioning) shiro comes between them and convinces lotor NOT to kill zarkon
then zarkon kills lotor
everyones like oh shit bc surely someone who’s life was just spared wouldn’t kill the person who seems to have the most power
but he did. bc he’s zarkon. and he’s fckn crazy.
shiro doesn’t go back to team voltron bc its too much too easily
instead he takes the place of lotor in the group of gals 
he convinces them all to rebel against the galra
eventually they teach him all about quintessence and all the shit lotor had planned that they can’t do anymore
(lotor wasn’t harvesting alteans in this universe bc what the heck even was that subplot that had little to no relevance to the main storyline?
instead he was trying to find a way to technologically bring back alteans (kinda like how allure’s dad was originally preserved in s1)
i know nothing about How Stuff Works and i dont remember much about quintessence n shit but the basic idea is that when tying in some of a persons artifacts with technology stuff and some quintessence then boom. a weird route from astral projection land to the team is created and ppl can come back or smth idfk
but lotor was never able to get the comet so shiro decides he and the gals will get that comet and try to bring back as many alteans as they can
^ all this while infiltrating as many galra fleets as possible + saving planets under galra empire
they personally visit every planet that lotor was in charge of and release them from galra control
they are able to bring back an altean (its romelle) and she talks abt her friend who lives on the balmera and they go to the balmera and its revealed that it was shay’s great grandmother so romelle asks where shay is and shay’s family is like with team voltron of course
so
they take her
obviously team voltron, the BoM and the Rebels r very hesitant to make contact but they decide to try it out
keith refuses to meet, instead he’s on the team that stands guard
reunions !! 
romelle and shay hit it off and hunk makes a dinner much like roselle’s past (allura and coran also hang out and they all vibe)
lance talks to shiro abt everything to do with keith and shiro is like dude do u??? like him?
and lance is like what? no ofc not—oh shit.
and keith ✨overhears ✨
pidge matt and shiro catch up n shit
meanwhile keith is like Hey Lance Uhhhhhh What The Fuck
they end up being like hey since we’re all here and we hate zarkon what if we make a plan to end the galra’s reign Right Now
so they do
and y’all.. it’s hella baller plan
except something is going wrong and in the middle of an attack zarkon is able to get the upper hand 
due to haggar’s magic and lance’s mental and emotional instability, zarkon is able to get in his head
everyone is trying to talk him down but they’re all under a lot of pressure
allura is also conflicted bc she wanted to be black lion bc she wanted to rub it in to zarkon’s face that she was stronger than he and that she could beat him at his own game
but the negativity and instability feeds into zarkon’s power and makes him and haggar stronger as they pull in voltron to finally take over the team and regain their status as the most powerful alien race
hunk realizes this and is like okay can y’all stop being negative? its clearly affecting them in a good way and it makes us an easier target
and pidge is like im literally a child pls i don’t wanna die i just got my family back it can’t end like this
shiro realizes what’s going on and he goes to save them
he uses all his energy, pulling in the positive memories (everything: first learning about space, becoming a teacher, meeting adam, meeting keith, first making team voltron, his friends and family--all of it) to push back zarkon and haggar’s powers and battle once more in the astral realm 
in defeating zarkon, shiro loses his life
afterwards keith enters the ship in a hurry and is like where the fuck is shiro where’s my brother what did you do what happened
and team voltron is like hey man.. we are so so sorry
and keith cries because the last thing he ever said to shiro was mean
lance feels like its all his fault since he was supposed to be a good leader
they talk about separately while hunk pidge and allura discuss
krolia is like keith we, ur family, are here for u
and axca is there and shes like um?? hey?? sry for trying to kill u bro
and he’s like i absolutely do not wanna talk i just lost my closest friend
they talk about it later
axca tells keith abt shiro finishing lotor’s work and abt bringing people back and well.. 
they use the methods to help keith visit shiro in the astral realm
shiro is like oh uh hey i was just having a drink w adam we r happy
and keith is like shiro u fuckhead why would u sacrifice urself
shiro sighs bc cmon keith you KNOW why “remember what i always said? we can’t focus on what went wrong..”
“we’ve got to figure out how to make it right” keith finishes
keith breaks tf down crying and screams apologizing
“i love u shiro. ur a like a big brother to me.”
and shiro is like yeah i know and ilyt but hey. everyone’s safe and happy. im safe and happy. & you deserve to be too. you don’t need me anymore.
so the galra rule is over and everyone goes to their respected planets
romelle and the other alteans as well as some galra babes hang in earth
romelle and shay r in an apartment together and have a garden
allura realizes she may not have been the strongest leader for voltron, and  couldn’t stop zarkon on her own but that physical strength doesn’t define her as a whole
her heart is strong enough to care for everyone, so thats what she does
allura starts running an inn for alteans filled with painted sceneries like altea in case anyone ever needs a reminder of home
when lance reunites with his family its a real tearjerker
rachel finally gets her jacket back and veronica is like So.. Axca 👀
the McClain’s host a huge party for everyone and it’s filled with lots of hugs and loud music and even tho lance was way too tired, he danced all night
he wouldn’t trade his family for the world—genetic and chosen
when hunk reunites with his parents they don’t let him out the house for hours, he tells them all about his new best friend shay as well as hundreds of his favorites stories from space
they are so, so proud of him
hunk spends the next days playing minecraft and animal crossing with pidge, giving their brains a rest from being on hyperdrive for 3 yrs straight
when pidge gets home she finally gets grounded by her mom, only being allowed to leave the house to see her old teammates
(same for matt and her dad)
(her mother cries so hard when they opened the door to the home)
the holt family holds movie nights filled with popcorn, cuddles, and tears
keith moves in with the holt family, and finally accepts that he has a home as well as a family
he often goes on trips with the BoM but mostly just stays on earth
after a Team Voltron sleepover in the altea inn keith and lance decide to get an apartment together and live their lives in love and in peace
everyone gets together once a year in celebration of shiro and the sacrifice he made for them
they use the ship to visit Astral Shiro and once they even met adam
everyone laughs and catches up and just... live their lives
everyone is happy
pls ignore any and all errors lmao
again, just a thought !! maybe i’ll write a fic abt it idk for sure but yeah
feel free to add anything <3
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definitelynotacosmicbeing · 4 years ago
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I attended a funeral today...
And I really don’t know how I feel right now. The last time I went to a funeral I was a kid and really didn’t understand what was going on. I felt no grief for the bastard that died.
He was an abusive as hole who hit kids, and cuased my dad to go through hell. I only knew him for a short time and the only emotion I ever felt towards the man was either fear or resentment.
He died when I was in the first or second grade. So I was whatever age that is.
But today I went to a funeral for a women I never met. And- it was a Christian funeral by the way. I was completely lost the whole time but the families there where very understanding and never got mad when I didn’t sing along or not understand that I’m supposed to say the words in bold.
She was my fathers childhood best friends mother. She died on my brother birthday last week. From the story’s I’ve heard she was a wonderful woman.
And... And her kid... He was- is so awful. For an example he destroyed her and her husbands business running it into the ground completely.
He was never around and just acted as a leach, takeing things without the entent to ever repay the favor. Not that she ever asked him to.
But- what’s really makeing me angery is what I found out. Her son two weeks before her death (illegally) changed her will so that he would inherit everything.
He took advantage of her, just for some properties and things that she considers valuable.
This of course won’t stand up in court, the other son. (He’s a literaly angel. I’ve know him since I was a kid. He’s to kind for his own good.) Will though have to face his brother in court and have to fight for the house.
This of course will take time. To much time, until then the bad son will probably pawn everything the woman owned.
But... I’ve never turely felt loss like this in my life. I have both my parents, the grandparents that I’ve grown up with. I’ve never had a friend die, I never lost a person so close to me. It’s a loss that I will be forced to feel again but- probably a thousand times worse.
I’m terrified.
I still cry when I hear that someone was killed on the news, I still mourn the loss of those people like they where family. It’s something I’ve always done.
But this... I don't know how to my feelings into words. As i write this Im crying and my heart rate is 98. But those are just observations.
I can explain what’s happening in my mind though... I’m remembering things, things that make me angery and confused.
Things like my own father saying that the elderly should just die- because they can’t contribute anymore.
My mother making ugly remarks about a kid at my school who died from an overdose. Calling them a “druggy” who is better off not being a burden.
The people who created “all live matter,” to say that all lives don’t.
People who remove park benches because people where sleeping on them.
The kids that bullied me rerenttusly because I was “forren.” (I’m an American cizsen who is white. I might have other things in me but I’m white.) Just because I wasn’t born in the same town as them.
The first person who hit me. Just because they where mad, I’ve never wanted to do that... I can’t understand why someone would do that to another person.
I’m currently in a lot of pain from my covid vaccine my entire arm feels like it’s being crushed from all directions. My brother is purposely bumping into it and is punching it. And all I’ve said is “please stop, your hurting me.” I’ve never punched him in his arm, where he was vaccinated. It’s never even crossed my mind.
I guess why I’m trying to say is I can’t understand why people can be so cruel. How people can just- say things like that. Where talking about people...
I just- what... What happened to cuase this? We- people aren’t supposed to be like this. Where supposed to be the smart ones but- we can be so cold and curel.
I feel like a pool cleaner that was given the ability to see color.
I was a pallbearer today, normally I wouldn’t be but my younger brother wasn’t actually strong enough to do it. So I volunteered too, I was worried that without the “correct amount” of people something would go wrong.
As I carried the body of a woman who I learned so much about I so little time... It was like a wave of emotions hit me all at once.
I was allowing myself to grieve for the first time. I’ve never done this before...
I don’t personally believe in an after life out of spite. If someone can create such a cruel world they don’t deserve to be praised for it. I don’t believe in the small moments or liveing your life to the fullest.
I’ve personally not lived a good life. It could have been so much worse but, it was enough to make the way I am today. Spiteful against my own existence. Everytime I find myself smileing and doing something fun I can’t enjoy it. Because if I do- when it’s gone, it will just hurt more.
Because it won’t last...
One day I’ll just be FIRST NAME LAST NAME. (In the government when your deased your name is written in all caps)
Ive have never let myself think to much about my death... Its inevitable, and I don’t think I can ever get over that. I don’t see a reason to want to live forever but I don’t see a reason to want to die other.
So I just didn’t let myself think about it. It never lead to good things.
As a result of my depression my memory has become worse and worse. I’ve been on trips and have had so many experiences but I have no memory of them. Not even after being reminded.
Only photos that I took- it’s... They had photos of her in the church. They where of her when she got married and some recent ones. And I thought to myself, it’s just like looking at the photos I take.
Ones of experiences that I don’t remember, ones that only others can remember for me. And I guess, that broke me today.
One day I’ll be her, people will take whatever I called my own. Whatever family I may have will have to experience my loss.
And someone won’t care. Someone will just glance over my death as a fact in a history they never will experience.
I’m sorry for putting such a long post on here... I- I’m just really not okay at the moment. I have to many things going on right now for me to handle, I just want to scream and cry but don’t have the time to.
What a cruel existence I’ve found myself in...
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47cityordinances · 5 years ago
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In This White House
alright listen up this is going to be a long post. i spent a lot of time on it but yeah. enjoy.
okay so i just rewatched s2e4 “in this white house” of west wing and VFCDTYHJNFBVCH.
first off, “ginger, get the popcorn” is the best line EVER.
but i kept watching and noticed things i’ve never noticed before.
starting with ainsley. oml i love this girl. she presents a different view of things but the show needs that counterbalance and she is just amazing and I love her. her “they are righteous, and they are patriots. and i’m their lawyer” speech is SO GOOD. she doesnt agree with them, but she understands that they are good people, and i think thats something we’ve lost in recent years
so besides the whole ideological lesson to be learned, josh and sam’s interaction is just priceless. (I love “hold on, im still on he offered you the job”) anyway, ainsley is chewing them out and listing the reasons that she doesn’t want to work for them. at first, they’re intrigued. sam is kind of taken aback
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but look at josh’s face. he likes her. he sees her side. he’s realizing just how brilliant and amazing this woman is.
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then, ainsley brings up the second amendment. she says “this white house that loves the bill of rights, all of them, except the second one”
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now, josh’s reaction to that is like quiet resignation. his smile vanishes. he doesn’t say anything. he just kind of stands there and takes it. honestly, im pretty sure he’s a little shocked that she would bring up gun control. this is only two episodes after the shooting. he just got out of recovery. he just looks shocked. he looks at sam, then kind of makes a move with his head. he doesn’t want to talk about this. he doesnt want to argue with her about it. he looks like he just wants to disappear.
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sam, though, is furious. “this is the wrong place to talk about gun control right now” he goes OFF on her, but what i noticed when watching wasnt him and it wasnt ainsley. (although when ainsley realizes what she said and how seriously they take it she looks a little regretful and i love her even more for it.)
the person whose reaction is PRICELESS during sam’s rebuttal is josh. josh and sam’s interaction is just amazing.
when sam talks about how “but for a brilliant surgical team and two centimeters of a miracle, this guy’s dead right now,” josh just looks at him like “thanks man.” honestly one of my favorite parts is i think josh couldnt argue with her but he appreciates sam taking what he wants to say and actually saying it.
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LOOK AT THEM. BABIES. the look they exchange is full of so much meaning, but what i get most is thank you for everything. i think it might also be a little of a warning like “dont go too far”
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but then josh seems to get a little tired of it. i think its partly his ptsd. he just doesnt wanna talk about what he went through. he tries to separate himself from the conversation and walks away, but not before this.
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he bumps into sam in a kind of “calm down, it’s okay, back off a little.” it could also be a “thanks, but im outta here” and i think its both, but he just touches sam a little because theyre best friends and he knows that sam needs to chill out a little and knows how to make that happen. 
meanwhile, sam is pissed as hell
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you can see it in his face, in his body posture, in his words, in everything about him. he almost LOST josh. theyve been friends for years, since before the campaign. he almost lost him, and ainsley doesnt realize how scared they were and how much they care about each other until then
but look in the background. while sam is mad and talking about personal freedom, josh goes and leans against the doorframe and rubs his face in his hands
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he’s so tired. he just doesnt care anymore. i dont even know how to articulate the feeling that this scene made me feel when he did that. he loves sam. he loves his job. he’s just a touch overwhelmed and needs to clear his head. he removes himself and composes himself again. 
the next thing josh says is to toby when he asks where leo is. he has a grip again, but he’s so tired. he’s so, so tired. 
they all care about each other so much and other people dont realize just how much and this scene is possibly the best josh and sam scene ever. the acting and writing in it is just superb and they bring the characters to life. josh doesnt even know he has ptsd at this point, but he feels overwhelmed and doesnt want to talk about gun control. thats all he knows. he tries to block it all out but its too much. 
then of course there’s a crisis and he has to jump into action quickly but just. aaron sorkin. this was josh’s first episode really back and his ptsd was already showing itself. this is GOOD WRITING. josh’s ptsd slowly builds up until noel, when he breaks down, but this is the first, most subtle nod to josh not being fully okay after the shooting. 
anyway, i just really love this scene. i love the whole episode, but this scene just really hits home for me. if anyone notices anything else, please tell me. i spent a lot of time just analyzing this and would love to hear what other fans think
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ghosttotheparty · 4 years ago
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while the world ends around us (make believe with me)
5. We let the freckles on our faces make a million stars AO3
When Jens’s phone buzzed late last night, he ignored it, simply glancing at the brightening screen before looking away, back at the video game he was engrossed in. Lotte and his mom were both in bed, probably snoring, but he couldn’t fall asleep, hard as he tried. 
It was almost midnight when he finally took off the headset and shut off the tv, rubbing his sore ears and blinking in the dim light of the hallway seeping into the living room after staring at the bright, fluorescent screen for so long. As he moved down the hallway, it was like the music and booms and crashes of the game were echoing, rattling around in his skull, clashing with the deafening silence as he cracked Lotte’s door open and gazed at her for a second, his phone, notification forgotten, in the pocket of his sweatpants. 
He’d left his light off when he threw himself onto the bed, the door shut gently behind him. The windows were cracked open, the pale yellow curtains parted to let light from street lamps leak into the room, the quiet city just out of reach as he stepped between the window and his bed to grab his earbuds from the floor. 
He fell onto the bed, causing a quiet thump and he buried himself under his blanket, hiding from the soft breeze sneaking into the room. He finally pulled his phone out, struggling for a second before managing to plug in his earbuds, and he opened his phone, flinching as it shone too brightly in the dark. His eyes caught on a notification as the phone opened too quickly for him to read it beyond a phone number he didn’t recognise.  He let out a quiet “Oh,” as he swiped on the screen until his messages were open, remembering suddenly, his heart picking up its pace until he could hear it. 
l: hey this is lucas :)
Jens smiled, hurriedly sending a hey whats up?? before adding the number as a contact, as lucas :). (He’d used a smiley face in the initial email, so maybe it was a Lucas thing.) Before he could leave the app to open his music, Lucas had texted back. 
l: not much just staring at the ceiling
Jens had laughed lightly, rolling over so he was on his belly, propping himself up on his elbows with his phone in front of him. 
j: oh same
He paused before typing again. 
j: sooooo how are you liking antwerp
He watched as a bubble appears, and then disappears, and then appears again. 
l: im sure if i went out into the city and actually did stuff i’d like it more
Jens had chuckled, tilted his head understandingly.
j: very valid
j: it’s not the same rn bc of covid but there are still some cool places to see
He watched the bubble again. 
l: i haven’t really left my apartment since i got here :( but i do want to go places l: my friends are pressuring me to be adventurous
j: when it’s safe for people to meet up i can show you around
j: we can go on some adventures
After hitting send he paused, biting his lip, wondering if it was too… forward, straight-up, blunt. If it was too early, too soon for a let’s hang out invitation. But then Lucas responded with his little :)and it was fine. 
Jens started getting sleepy as they chatted, as Lucas told him about Utrecht and about what he did with his friends. 
l: we used to get fries a lot l: too often maybe
l: no such thing j: so we’re getting fries when we meet up it’s decided
l: a man after my own heart
j: stomach
l: oh yea
He wakes up to shifting on his bed, and his eyes open, just a bit. It’s still a little dim out, too early for him to be worried about missing a class, too early for him to be worried about sleeping through an alarm. 
It’s the first time he’s woken up in the morning without earbuds tangled around him. He sees them when he opens his eyes, a fuzzy, white, tangled mess on the edge of his bed like he placed them there (maybe he did), and a part of him says huh, seeming to forget that it’s actually possible to fall asleep without his head full of noise. 
He glances down, still too tired to really move, and sees Lotte crawling up his bed, a little blurry. He moves his arm so she can climb under it, and realises his fingers are resting on top of his phone, also dangerously close to the edge of the bed. He pulls it closer and slides it up to a safe place before lifting his arm up more, feeling Lotte’s small hands pull at his bicep until it’s in the air, and she flops down next to him, narrowly missing his face. He scoffs and pulls her close, resting his chin on her head. 
When he wakes up again it’s brighter, and there’s a jolt in his chest before he reaches up, around Lotte (the arm she’s laying on it filled with static but he’s careful not to move her), and snatches his phone, bringing it close enough to his face to read the time. There are only a few minutes before his alarm is going to go off. 
“Lotte,” he whispers, and she just nuzzles her face into Jens’s chest. “Hey.”
She groans quietly and furrows her brows, a hand coming up and curling under her chin softly. 
“Lotte, I have a class soon.” 
“I don’t wanna go,” she mumbles, moving closer, and he sighs, running a hand over her hair. 
“Will you stay quiet while I’m in class?” he asks after a second. 
“Mm-hmm.” She nods, moving closer, but Jens sits up, pushing her away, and she ends up with her head on his leg, seemingly undisturbed as Jens bends around her to pick up his laptop and set it in front of himself. She’s snoring softly by the time the video call is open, by the time Jens’s glasses are on his face, by the time the teacher’s droning voice is talking about the homework Jens did last class, still with a few minutes before class actually starts. (Chemistry. Jens suspects Mr Claes is just about as done with virtual learning as the rest of them. Classes are quick, just attendance and instruction. The minimal amount of learning Jens does in this class is through the assignments: YouTube videos and Google Forms. Modern education.) 
Jens ends up running his hand over Lotte’s hair, waiting until Mr Claes dismisses them with too much time left over like usual so he can go and make breakfast. 
As Mr Claes is talking to Mathijs (“Why didn’t you do last week’s assignment?” Jens winces in sympathy for him.), Jens’s phone buzzes, back on his bed where he had put it before Lotte crawled in and he leans back, pulling it close and looking at the notification, a text from Lucas :).
i: i have dupont first l: any advice
Jens opens the messages, skimming the ones from last night, that took up too much of the night, that are probably the reason Jens’s eyes are struggling to stay open this morning more than usual, and types a response, lifting his hand from Lotte’s head to do so.
j: never had him :/ 
Lucas responds soon after a second. 
l: ugh l: disappointing
Jens scoffs, glancing up as Claes starts discussing the day’s assignment. 
j: my apologies j: good luck
He sighs, leaning back as he waits for a response. 
“So,” Claes is saying, his voice echoey. “It’s the same as last class, just make sure to turn it in before three today.” None of the other students have their cameras on, and Claes stares blankly, waiting for a response, reminding Jens of Dora the Explorer. After a second, he gives up and says, “Okay, guys, I guess I’ll see you Tuesday.” A pause. “Or I’ll talk to you next Tuesday, I guess. Email me if you have questions.”
Jens’s phone buzzes in his lap but he ignores it long enough to lean forward and unmute himself to say, “Bye, Mr Claes.”
He shuts his laptop quietly when he leaves the meeting, setting the assignment on a to-do shelf in his brain, and lifts his phone to read the text. 
l: ok he’s just telling personal anecdotes about his cats i think he’s bored l: but i am too so what’s up
Jens smiles again, pushing his glasses up his nose and pushing his laptop away.
j: my sister is asleep on my leg and my teacher just dismissed us j: so i’m going to make breakfast or something
Jens yawns after hitting send, arching his back as he stretches and hearing it crack softly, taking care to not move his leg and bother Lotte, who’s still sleeping peacefully. One of her hands is under her chin, her fingers pressed between her face and Jens’s leg, making her cheek squish, and Jens gently brushes her hair back.
l: wait that’s so cute how old is she l: also what are you making can i have some l: also dupont just dismissed us, do you want to call bc i don’t have anything to do
Jens grins, quickly reaching up to push his glasses again (they fall when he looks down at his phone; tightening them has been on his to-do list for a while), and responding.
j: she’s eight j: eggs probably come on down j: yes i’ll call you in a minute
“Lotte,” he says softly, clicking off his phone and tossing it away. He touches the top of her head, rustling her hair gently, and she lets out a disgruntled groan, turning her face into Jens’s leg. He laughs, rustling her hair again. 
“I’m going to make breakfast, but you have to get off me first.” She doesn’t move. “Do you wanna eat?”
Her eyes open and she glares at him groggily. 
“You can stay here if you want, I just have to get up.”
“But you’re so comfy,” she says, nuzzling her face into his leg again.
“Well so are pillows and that’s what they’re actually for.”
“Ugh.” 
She finally moves, rolling off of his leg and squirming around like a fish until she finds the pillows, and she clutches the end of the blanket and she buries her face in them. 
“I’ll wake you up later.”
“Don’t,” she grumbles into the pillow, and he almost doesn’t hear her. 
Before leaving, he reaches over her, snatching his earbuds and pressing a chaste kiss to her head. 
As he makes his way to the kitchen, he struggles to plug the earbuds into his phone, lifting it closer to his face to see and bumping into the doorframe of the kitchen, wincing as his shoulder hits a sharp corner. 
He calls Lucas, hesitating for only a second to take a deep breath, as he opens the pan cabinet. 
“Hey,” he says when Lucas picks up.
“You said you’re making eggs?” Lucas says, sans greeting, and Jens startles, snorting and trying to stifle a cackle as he flips the pan in his hand and turns on the stove. His voice is different than it was during class, over the video call. It sounds... closer. Softer, even though he’s speaking with his chest more so than he did when he was in class. 
“Yes? What’s your problem with eggs?”
“I don’t have a problem, it’s just fucking gross.”
The laugh breaks through loudly as he sets the pan on the stove, leaning over the counter to grab the non-stick spray. 
“This is not a conversation I was expecting to have today— Are you vegan?” 
“No, I’m not vegan. Why, what’s your problem with vegans?” 
“I don’t have a problem with vegans.”  He spins on his heel to go to the fridge and pulls three eggs out of the carton, leaving two. He makes a mental note to get eggs next time he takes Lotte grocery shopping.
“Just like I don’t have a problem with eggs.” 
“Listen… I respect veganism.” He cracks an egg.
“Did you… Just tell me to shut up so I could hear you crack an egg?”
“I…” Jens looks at the eggshells in his hand. “That was not on purpose.”
“The amount of disrespect.”
“I just said I respect vegans!”
“And I just said I’m not vegan!”
“Oh my god…” 
Jens laughs as he drops the eggshells in the bin, turning back to twist the knob on the stove to turn down the heat.
“Anyway,” Lucas says lightly. “How are you today?”
Jens scoffs, grabbing a plate from the counter as the egg cooks.
“Fine? I’ve been awake for approximately ten minutes, so we’re going pretty good. You?”
“I’m dead inside, thanks for asking—” Jens interrupts him with a laugh— “But this class doesn’t seem too hard, so that’s nice.”
“Cool, which class is it?” 
“Biology.”
“Oh, gross. I just had chemistry.”
“Biology is better than chemistry.”
“Incorrect,” Jens says after scoffing. 
“Actually, I’m always correct.”
“I think your brain is broken.”
Lucas lets out a quiet laugh. 
“Just a little bit.”
Jens laughs, carefully shimmying the spatula under the egg to flip it.  
“What have you been up to other than classes?” He asks after a second, and there’s a slight pause before Lucas answers. 
“Just hanging out in my room, I guess. I haven’t done much.” 
“You said you’re an artist, right?”
“Uh— Yeah,” Lucas says, sounding hesitant.
“What kind of art do you do?”
“Visual,” he says. “Mostly portraits in pencil or pen, but I really like watercolour.”
“How come  you don’t have art or anything on your wall?” Jens asks as he drops the cooked egg on a plate and sprays the pan again. “One of my friends is an artist and his wall is covered.”
Lucas sighs. 
“I would, but I’m not allowed to put anything up.”
“Like your landlord won’t let you put pins or anything?” 
“No, like my dad won’t even let me use tape, it’s ridiculous.”
Jens makes a face even though Lucas can’t see him.
“That’s stupid,” he says, cracking the other two eggs and mixing them together when one of the yolks breaks. 
“He is stupid,” Lucas grumbles, and his voice has changed. It’s lower, less playful than when he picked up.
“How come you live with him?” Jens asks, something in him recognizing the result of divorced parents. Lucas doesn’t answer, though, and Jens regrets asking as he hears Lucas let out a quiet sigh. 
“We can talk about something else,” he says gently. 
“Thanks,” Lucas says softly.
“So you only do portraits?” Jens asks, changing his tone so it’s more conversational. 
“Usually, yeah.” There’s a clicking sound on Lucas’s end, sounding like the mouse of a laptop. “Every once in a while I’ll draw something else, but it’s typically faces.”
“Do you do people from real life?” Jens asks curiously. “Or do you do like… I don’t know.”
“Both,” Lucas says. “I use references and I like drawing my friends with pictures they send me, but sometimes I just… draw whatever comes to mind. Random faces and stuff.”
“I wish I could do something like that,” Jens sighs. “My sister is the artist of the family.”
“I already love your sister.” “Everyone loves my sister.”
“What do you do?” Lucas asks, and Jens shrugs, mixing the eggs around a little with the spatula. 
“Not much. Before covid I went skating with my friends, I went to parties and stuff. Now I just play video games and play guitar on occasion.”
“You play guitar?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re an artist.”
Jens scoffs, laughing lightly, but Lucas insists, “You are! Music is an art and you make music. Artist.”
“If you say so.”
“I told you I’m always right,” Lucas sighs. “Ah, shit.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Dupont actually assigned homework.”
“He’s a teacher, Lucas, that’s what they do.”
Lucas sighs again, sounding forlorn. 
“Yeah, but I was hoping he’d be easy.”
“It’s biology.” 
Lucas groans loudly, and Jens winces, laughing. 
“Go do your homework,” he says when Lucas stops. “I’m gonna wake up my sister to eat. Are you still coming by for breakfast?” 
“If I’m ever going to your place it’s not gonna be for eggs. It’ll be to hang out with your sister, because she’s probably cooler than you”
“...Wow.”
“Did that hurt your feelings?”
“Little bit.” 
“Good. Build some character.”
Jens lets out a laugh that sounds a little much like a giggle for his liking, and his face burns as he turns to pull the fridge open.
“Go do your homework,” he says as he pulls the orange juice out.  (Lotte’s favourite. She would drink it like water if Jens let her.) 
“I don’t wanna….” Lucas whines. 
“My hands are full, you have to be the one to hang up,” Jens says, lifting a plate and trying carefully not to drop the juice. 
“Are you already tired of me?” Lucas asks, and Jens can hear him stifling a laugh.
“I’ve known you for less than twenty-four hours.”
“And yet…” Lucas sighs forlornly. “I’ll let you go, I guess.” 
“Text me later.” 
“Will do. Bye-bye-e-e.”
Jens sets the other plate on the table just as Lucas hangs up, and he stops, his eyes stuck on the table in front of him. Lucas’s voice is still rattling in his head, a stark difference from the sudden silence of the flat. He sounded like he could be in the same room, right next to Jens, teasing him and laughing with him like they’ve known each other for years. Jens briefly wonders if this is how Robbe felt when he met Sander, but he shakes his head, dismissing the thought. 
---
Jens twists his back, popping it, and winces in the bright sunlight streaming through his window that falls on his face. 
“And I want you all to get some fresh air today too,” Ms Peeters is saying. Her hair is tied up today. Jens has never seen her with her hair tied up. He’s reminded that she does have ears, even though they’re typically covered by her curls. “Take a walk or open a window. It’s nice out today.” “My window is stuck closed,” someone says after a second, the bubble with his initial in it moving as he speaks. Ms Peeters opens her mouth to say something before another student, Liam, interrupts, “Smash it.”
“No, I don’t recommend that,” Ms Peeters says, and Jens hears Liam’s snicker echoing in his speakers. Liam makes similar comments in class. 
Jens laughs, glancing down to the little box with Lucas’s face in it and feeling a little rush at Lucas’s grin. 
“Okay, anyway,” Ms Peeters says, and it takes a second for Jens to look back at her. “Matthew, don’t do that please. And if you do, I had nothing to do with it, I don’t want a phonecall from your parents. Anyway, you all remember what I said about a project, right?”
Almost every student throws their head back, rolling their eyes, and Jens sighs deeply, mentally adding the unexplained work to his to-do list. 
“Well, you’ll be happy, because you can really do whatever you want.”
“Does that mean I can do nothing?” Liam asks, and Jens wonders if he leaves his microphone on just so he can cut in easily. 
“Liam, I will fail you,” she dismissed him. “That means you can do an essay, a powerpoint, a poster, whatever. If we were still in person, I’d want you and your partner to present it to the rest of the class, but I won’t make you do that.
“Your assignment is to read a book. A classic,” she clarifies. “And to complete something, powerpoint, essay, whatever.” “Are you assigning partners?” Ella asks after a second, and Jens finds himself glancing at Lucas's box again. 
“No, you guys can pick partners yourself. No more than three to a book, and you can all probably find the books online as PDFs.” She pauses, her eyes scanning her screen. “Any more questions?”
“Uhm,” Ella says, looking hesitant. “When is this due?”
Ms Peeters sighs, looking away from her computer. 
“I don’t know yet. We’ll see. Probably not for a while, I know you’re all busy with your other classes and, you know, the pandemic. Don’t put it off though,” she adds. “I don’t want you to skim your book and throw something together the night before it’s due. I want to see effort.”
“Also--”
“Ella, stop asking questions,” Liam interrupts, and Jens decides that he definitely leaves his microphone on just to be able to annoy people better. He wonders if he does it in any of his other classes. Maybe not. None of Jens’s other teachers are as patient as Ms Peeters. 
“Someone has to,” Ella retorts. “Are we still doing poetry?” 
“Yeah, we’re going to do poetry in class and your project you’ll have to do on your own time.”
“Okay.”
“Any more questions? Comments, concerns? Debates, disputes, dilemmas?” Ms Peeters asks, her trademark end-of-class questions. “No?” 
Jens shakes his head, because he knows she can see him. 
“Okay, well I want you guys to enjoy today, so you’re free to go. Pick your partners and book and email me so I can keep track. Cool?”
Jens’s phone buzzes not five seconds after he leaves the meeting. (Ms Peeters always leaves last. He doesn’t know why, but he suspects it’s in case anyone wants to stay after and talk. She seems like that kind of person.) He shuts his laptop, leaning over his bed and pulling his phone up.
l: partners? I might already have a book
Jens grins, immediately typing a response. 
j: yea for sure j: what book do you have?
He lays back on his pillows as he waits for a response, pushing one of them under his head until it’s comfortable. 
l: the great gatsby? She never said it had to be a belgian classic
Jens scoffs, shaking his head. 
j: You’re turning into Liam  j: but sure whats she gonna do, make us start over?
l: I can send her an email and ask but i’m pretty sure shes gonna say sure
j: sounds good
Lucas responds with his signature smiley face, and Jens smiles at his phone before adding, 
j: i should warn you that youre making a mistake picking me as your partner though j: im not a reade
After hitting send he tosses the phone across the bed, stretching his back again and looking out his window. From his room he can see the buildings across the street. The windows are all shiny, reflecting the sunlight brightly, like the sun is inside the building itself, burning everything up except the structure and glass. Jens tosses his blanket aside, stretching his legs out and sighing before spinning to sit on the edge of his bed. His eyes drift shut as he sits there, supporting himself with his hands by his legs, digging into the mattress. 
It’s quiet, but he can hear Lotte’s TV show come through the walls and his door. The volume is low, per his instructions, and it’s just a gentle, inaudible hum. It makes him think of the music he’d be able to hear through the bathroom door at parties. 
His phone vibrates behind him and he reaches back to get it as he stands, opening his door. 
l: not to worry i like reading l: and ive read the great gatsby several times already
what are we gonna do our project on, though? Jens types, making his way down the hall, doing his best not to walk into the wall or door frame of the living room. like a powerpoint or an essay or??
l: powerpoint sounds easiest l: we can do like just a summary of it l: or analyze gatsby or something
j: whatever gets us a passing grade
l: got it
“Are you done with class?” Lotte asks, looking up at him with a cereal bowl under her face. She’s cross-legged on the floor in front of the television. 
“I’m done with that class,” he says, flopping onto the sofa. “My teacher let us out early so we can enjoy the weather.” 
“Are we gonna go on a walk?” she asks excitedly, spinning around on the floor, nearly spilling milk on the carpet. Jens raises an eyebrow at her. 
“We can if you finish eating first. And if you get dressed,” he adds, glancing at her pink pyjamas.
She eats her cereal as quickly as she can (Jens tells her not to choke on it.) before rushing off her to her room to change. Jens doesn’t bother changing out of the sweatpants and t-shirt he slept in. While she’s gone, no doubt wrecking her room by throwing clothes everywhere, Lucas texts again. 
l: I found my copy of it l: you should be able to find a pdf online but worst case scenario i read it to you over skype or something
Jens smiles. 
j: yea that could work
Lucas responds with another smiley, and Jens thinks about it. 
He supposes he could do something while Lucas reads it, take notes or work on the powerpoint. But part of him (most of him) wants to just listen. Lucas’s voice sounded different over the phone than it did during class. Jens wonders if it’ll sound different when it’s just the two of them.
Just the two of them.
Jens’s stomach flips over. 
He grabs a granola bar before he and Lotte leave.
---
He doesn’t bother putting in the effort to finding the PDF of the Great Gatsby online after Lucas says it’s a go. (Ms Peeters is indifferent. She says she just wants them reading.)
“Hey,” Lucas says when he appears on Jens’s screen, and Jens was right. He does sound different. He also, apparently, has freckles scattered across his nose, and a mole just above his lip that Jens can’t see when Lucas is stuck in a box as small as the one in class. After a brief pause, Jens turns up the volume a little on his laptop, adjusting his headphones as he sits back.
“Hey.”
“So. Storytime?” Lucas holds up the book, smiling. It’s dim in his room, like Jens’s, the setting sun making stripes on his wall glow orange.
“Yeah,” Jens says brightly, sliding down so he’s propped up on his pillows. (A stack of three. His mom hates it, but it works for him.) “Do you want me to take notes or something?” He has a notebook and pen next to him already.
“You can if you hear anything worth noting,” Lucas says, shrugging. “I already have a ton of annotations in here, so I wouldn’t worry.” 
“Okay.” Jens leaves his laptop propped up on his legs and crosses his arms over his chest, burying his chin in his elbow. 
“Okay,” Lucas says, smiling as he looks at Jens. There’s a long pause before he inhales sharply, looking away and opening the book. Jens’s face feels hot. “Okay. I’m skipping the preface because it’s like w quarter of the book and kind of unnecessary.”
“Do you have notes in that section too?” Jens says, and it’s meant to be a tease, but Lucas says, “Yeah,” and Jens snorts. 
“It’s a good book, you asshole,” Lucas retorts, grinning. 
“Proceed,” Jens says, gesturing politely with his hand. 
“Dick,” Lucas mutters, and Jens snickers as Lucas opens and flips through the book. 
“Okay. Ready?”
“Mm-hmm.” 
“In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice…”
Lucas’s voice shifts slightly when he reads. It’s lower, less him and more… Nick, Jens supposes. He can’t tell if Lucas is doing it on purpose. He doesn’t think he is. He reads a little quickly, but not so quickly that Jens can’t understand him. 
Lucas reads.
And reads. 
And reads. 
Jens can tell Lucas loves the book. 
He barely even looks up (which means Jens doesn’t feel embarrassed about how much he’s just staring at him (although to be fair he doesn’t have many other staring options)), completely engrossed in it, subtly shifting the octaves of his voice for the voices of  Jordan and Catherine and Myrtle. Jens finds himself smiling. 
The only time Lucas breaks character is to say, “This is my favourite line.” 
“Tell me,” Jens says softly, almost holding his breath to hear it. 
“Yet high over the city our line of yellow windows must have contributed their share of human secrecy to the casual watcher in the darkening streets, and I saw him too, looking up and wondering.” He pauses, taking a breath. “I was within and without, simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life.” 
Lucas looks up, a small smile painting his face, and he looks almost proud. 
“Wow,” Jens whispers. “Do you have that highlighted?” 
“Underlined.” 
Jens hums. 
“Are you gonna fall asleep on me?” 
He hums again, moving his arms out of the way and rolling his head. 
“I’m sleepy but not like falling asleep, you know?”
 “Mm-hmm. We can finish this chapter; it’s only two more pages.” 
“How many chapters are there?” Jens asks, and he watches as Lucas flips through the book.
“Nine,” Lucas says after finding it. “And we have time, so…” 
“Yeah.” 
“Myrtle pulled her chair close to mine…”
When the chapter is finished, it’s dark out, and Lucas closes the book dramatically and sets it to his side with a flourish. 
“To be continued,” he says. 
“Spooky.”
“You’re falling asleep,” Lucas says, looking at him skeptically, cocking his head and smiling. 
“...Yeah.”
“Didn’t know my reading voice was so soothing.”
“Oh, so soothing. You should do stuff for the Calm app.”
“‘Stuff.’ Very specific.”
“I just said I’m falling asleep, and you expect me to be articulate?”
“Well I never expect you to be articulate.”
“Oof…” Jens winces, looking away from the computer as Lucas says, “Hah hah.”
“You’re too quick for me,” Jens says, sitting up slightly and pushing his laptop away. Lucas raises an eyebrow. There’s a curl that’s fallen in his face, and for a second, Jens wishes he could push it away. “I’m gonna have to kill you. I can’t have any competition.”
“Social distancing,” Lucas says, holding up a finger. “Murder responsibly.”
“Of course. Always.”
“Okay, got to bed, Jens. You look like you’re about to pass out.” 
Jens groans, shutting his eyes for a second, ignoring the strange flutter in his stomach.
“It’s only like ten.”
“Yeah, that’s bedtime by normal people standards.”
“Ugh. Fine. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
When they hang up, Jens finds himself smiling. 
Again. 
He lifts his eyes from his blank laptop screen after some time (he doesn’t know how long, and he can’t be bothered to look), and shakes his head.
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eagesoldartblog · 4 years ago
Text
Heyooo I guess im posting fics to tumblr again- I hope you enjoy!!! Warning: detailed impalement, massive injuries, I mean MASSIVE, graphic descriptions of violence and near death experinces
Vivi’s Scar
“Hey Vivi,” She perks up, twisting her head away from her beach bag full of towels to Arthur, who was ... staring at her. He palms the back of his neck awkwardly, before pointing at her stomach, “so... sorry if this is weird but... what’s with the tattoo?”
“Tattoo?” Vivi says, raising an eyebrow, before she looks at her arms curiously, taking note of the small decals she dedicated to her two friends, “Which?”
“The one one your .. chest.”
“Huh?” Bewildered, Vivi looks down, before it hits her, “Ohh... I see what you mean.”
“Yea! I figured I - you know what, uh... what’s with it?” Arthur asks, brushing his hair back lamely and shifting on his feet as he comes closer to get a better look.
Vivi snickers, “it’s not a tattoo. It’s a scar.”
“... What?” Arthur lightly touches his own shoulder, which was scarred to hell and back itself, before looking at hers again.
“Yeah!” Vivi stretches her torso, and traces her finger down it, “don’t get me wrong, I get why you think that!”
It’s a large scar full of texture, appearing like a fat slithering snake was making a large S. The edges appeared white while the rest of the body became discolored, edging on gray. It starts around her belly button and then curves up her right breast. It was more than obvious now that she wore a bikini since it revealed the full extent of it. The thought made her grin a little bit. “I got it when I was a kid. Don’t remember how though, if I’m honest.”
“How do you not remember getting a scar?”
She shrugs, “My mom told me that I went missing one day, and when I came back, I had this wacky scar and some broken limbs. Fun stuff!” She laughs lightly, as if it wasn’t a big deal, before she returns to double checking the bag for the sunscreen. 
Arthur appears around her shoulder, craning his neck to look at it. Vivi smirks, and grabs his wrist.
“Wanna touch it?”
“Ah-! I- huh?”
“I mean you keep staring at it! And I’ll tell you what, it does feel kinda weird.”
Arthur jerks his hand away and sputters, blushing lightly, “No-nonono, that’s- uh... it just looks like- I don’t know, a carving? Kinda like when you burn designs into wood.” 
”Pyrography?” Lewis offers, peaking into the room with a cooler. 
Arthur snaps his fingers and nods, “Yes! That. It looks... like that?”
Vivi snickers again, “well thank you for calling me a piece of art~”
“Oh, don’t flatter yourself.”
“How can I not?” Vivi bites her lip to avoid laughing more than she wanted to, “I know how much you two look at me~”
”Just as much as you look in the mirror?”
“Okay, fuck you, Lewis.”
The three laugh amongst themselves, Mystery couldn’t help but smile himself. Only for that smile to fade as he averts his gaze.
If only she knew.
-
The trees towered above her head, and the sweet earthy grass beckoned her in. Never willing to miss a chance on adventure, Vivi sprints through the canopy, with her trusty ‘sword’ in hand. It’s wooden bark has long since stripped away, but the stick was as sturdy as can be.
And to prove it, Vivi spots a spindly tree with a burl sticking out, and she wallops its side. The hefty crack vibrating through her arm and sending thrills down her back. How could it not? 
Vivi was a strong, powerful warrior, taking after a legacy of even more powerful warriors. A long list of samurai, rōnin, onna-musha, and yokai hunters. At the very highest, one of the most well known and revered, Mushi Yukino.
Vivi’s heart flutters, her stomach twists, as she imagines the woman, surrounded by hundreds of monsters and serpents, in between her and the legendary kitsune who she dominated and harnessed. So strong and powerful, the kitsune had no choice but to submit. They had to join the yukino family and protect her descendants!
Vivi giggles, abandoning the beaten tree and leaping through another bush. 
I’m going to be the next! Vivi laughs full heartedly, hooking her sword around a tree branch and swinging her feet as she lands. Taking off in a new direction.
As far away as possible from home. Okkasan and Otousan would be furious if they knew she went out this far. Vivi didn’t particularly care. It was her break from her studies, and her otousan let her have some time to play after a lengthy English lesson. 
But why would she just play in the court, when she could train in her natural element? 
A few mountains peak through the trees, and Vivi’s eyes crinkle as the scent of the caves and stones called to her. Only for her to dig her heel into the ground.
The mountain stands before her, tall and unyielding...  She can’t climb! Not yet... Vivi gulps apprehensively, stomach souring as her hands become clammy around her sword. Baba told her time and time again to be wary in the forests.
Pay respect, and it will respect you. But by all means, don’t go on your own.
Vivi shudders lightly, eyebrows furrowing. 
She’ll never become like the greatest monster Hunter of her family if she never learns to climb!
So...! She’ll just have to get over it!
Steeling herself, Vivi turns her head up and stares at the tree beside her.
It’s towering over her, with many branches sticking out from it. Surrounding the tree, was a few considerably smaller ones, with lush greens that nearly made it impossible to see through.
Perfect! She grins, and sets off through the bushes that also surround the tree. One bush was filled with many shiny scarlet berries. 
Vivi paid it no mind. She’s seen weirder.
-
Not far off, a white rabbit watches. The fur along its back prickling, ears straight and alert, and the urge to thump and scream intense. It leaps after her.
-
Balancing her sword against the bark, Vivi stares at the tree and bites her lip. Beads of sweat were already beginning to trace her forehead, even if it was near freezing. There were a few bumps and ridges that jut out. Looking stable. Then again... it could easily drop her if she puts too much trust in it...
Oh well! Vivi sucks in her breath and grasps one of the ridges. Much to her delight, it’s easy to hold onto, and she hurriedly grabs the next.
It scratches her palms and fingers. They're going to be really mad at her when they see her sore palms. Vivi puffs, shooing the thought away as she hooks her foot along the bark and pushes herself up. 
“I-I knew it! This isn’t so hard...!” Vivi hisses through her teeth, biceps trembling as she hangs there and traces her foot for a previous bump to stand on. Then again, and again, and Vivi could see the trees surrounding this one from a brand new angle the higher she got.
-
The rabbit runs faster. Squeaking now. Thumping their hind legs on the ground and jumping against the trees to leap faster and get to her quicker. Vivi doesn’t notice.
-
Vivi climbs another few steps, dragging her front against the harsh bark. It scraps against her harshly. Even if her sweater blocked her skin, pins and needles and a red rash undoubtedly began to form. Vivi shifts uncomfortably, eyebrows furrowing together. 
Is it a poison tree? Is that a thing? Vivi gulps, the sweat along her forehead dampening her hair and her hands became slick with that same anxiety. 
The higher and higher she got, the more the tree felt like it swayed. Vivi took a deep breath, and the tree seemed to breath with her, expanding outward until she was nearly hugging it. The hairs on the back of her neck began to stand. A gust of wind pushing past her. Vivi dared a look - and saw that she was now high in the air, above the other surrounding trees and bushes. A sense of terror grew in her stomach as her thoughts filled with the image and sensation of falling-!
“It’s fine... it’s fine...” she hums to herself, forcing her smile to stay put as she reaches for another ridge- one that’s curved and slanted in an odd way that she couldn’t describe at first. 
Just keep climbing. Just keep climbing…
She felt... small. Her limbs start to ache. The air around her seemed to thicken and no matter how much she gasped, the air refused to fill her lungs. None was getting in.
Was something watching her?
”VIVI!”
Otousan? Gasping, Vivi’s entire body seizes up. Her grip on the tree began to wane, but Vivi twists her head around to peer at the ground. The… really far ground... 
No one was there.. Maybe it was just her imagination...?
Ragged, Vivi slows her breathing, and looks back to her hands and the tree.
Only for the curved ridge she was preparing to latch onto pops open. 
Vivi’s heart stops.
An eye. A deep hole like-eye with something red glowing behind the ridges- the eyelids. 
Then several more eyes open. All the other bumps above her opening to reveal angry, intense eyes. 
Vivi didn’t make a sound. 
But that didn’t matter. A creaking, cracking whine fills her ears, all the branches moving like arms. She dares a look as something seems to move in front of her stomach. 
The bark expands- bubbles- in front of her body. A branch shoots out.
Stabbing through her feeble skin. Stabbing past her spine and tearing through her torso like a toothpick. It keeps growing. Despite being impaled, it keeps growing. Sending Vivi out to dangle by her ribs around the wooden arm. Her eyes sting, feeling escaping her as she watches it all in shock. 
The tree holds her at the branch's length. She could only stare in horror as the new branch’s base splinters and creaks. Cracking.
And it snaps off.
A scream fills the air as she and the branch fall.
It’s her own.
The trees spike past her like streamers and fireworks, and as Vivi suddenly slammed against something, they explode in an eruption of different light. All behind her own eyelids. Where tears stung and her body sat numbly.
Numb. For maybe a second. Before she tried to breathe and her lungs constricted around the branch lodged through her. The narrow, bloodsoaked tip had snapped on impact. Her body sagged down on the broken pieces. Shooting pins and needles in every muscle that wasn’t already screaming.
A slickness soaked her belly. Her arms. Vivi couldn’t move. Stuck with the large branch stabbed into her like a knife.
Her throat strains. Rips. She was still screaming. Even as her mouth filled with copper and blood.
Her vision goes dark. She didn’t stop crying.
-
The rabbit races over, a growl ripping from it’s too small body as a new form rips out of its fur. Large fluffy paws become vicious claws, and a pointed mouth of teeth snap threateningly as eight tails thrash out.
“You bastard!” Mystery barks, glaring at the tree mimic with fury burning in every part of him. 
It’s many eyes blink as it unroots it’s many decoy trees, becoming sharp appendages. The scarlet berry bush shifting to his underbelly.
“What?” It hisses, “Angry because I caught your prey? You should know better than to claim what you haven’t properly snatched. This territory is free for all of us to hun-“
Mystery growls, a scream building in his throat. The mimic’s leaves recoil. Before it has the chance to flare out fully and unleash its storm of pine  needles, -Mystery pounces. 
Lunging past the barrage of needles, Mystery dives directly into the berry bush with jagged teeth. Digging his teeth in despite the horrified resound of screeching from the mimic. Mystery clamps his jaw on the one part that mattered most. 
It’s heart.
Lurching back, mystery tears the heart from its roots. The mimic’s life force began to drain instantly into the soil, enriching it with blood. But Mystery doesn’t stop there. He clenches his teeth shut, and the fruity heart bursts down his throat, coating it in a sickly spicy flavor. 
The mimic falls quiet, eyes shutting, and with nothing left to keep it up, the tree whines and creaks.
Crashing down, unrooting the earth where the roots sat.
Spitting, Mystery sends one final curse, before quiet sobbing takes hold of his heart.
Horrified, Mystery holds his breath and rushes to Vivi’s side. 
The branch that impaled her was beginning to shrink and curl, but the gaping wound was immeasurable.
Guilt and pain overwhelms his mind. Several apologies drown  his mind. 
“No! Vivi my dear, can you hear me? Please if you can, hold on as long as possible.” He begs, scanning her small, frail body one more time.
The effects of her lineage were already taking effect. Ice particles flaking off her uncovered skin, and frost attempting to stop the flow of steaming blood. Vivi’s eyes were wide open, blackened and becoming blue. The last line of preserving herself, if she knew it or not.
Mystery grits his teeth, and a flicker of a memory fills his mind.
His only daughter.. It worked for her... Yes. Yes, perhaps this may work!
He swallows back the sickly bile, and Mystery twists his head around, teeth catching on one of his eight tails.
And just like the mimic’s heart- Mystery rips the tail from its socket. Despite the pain that already threatened to crumple him, he drapes it against Vivi’s chest.
Dropping his head low, he presses his muzzle to her head, and whispers.
”My dear, Vivi. I swore an oath to do everything I can to protect you. I know we are forbidden to meet, but I care for you like everyone that came previous. I will ensure your safety. That is a promise.”
Her irises begin to glow, deep icy pits shining with golden light.
”Allow me to grant you a second chance, abilities beyond your own. To heal, to hide, and to live. Allow me this, and I promise I’ll ensure you won’t need any more.”
He kisses her head. And her body glows.
-
Katsumi sweeps through the house within minutes, annoyance bubbling in her chest as she clenches her hand. In her grasp and tightly held against her chest, was her granddaughter’s scarf. In the process of being lengthened for her upcoming eleventh birthday.
And just like she feared. Vivi was nowhere to be found. Eyes and nose scrunching with a hate filled grimace, she marches back to the main entrance. 
“Can’t believe this,” she croaks, imagining her son’s face when she undoubtedly wallops him. “Letting her run outside on her own...! Why do I bother helping him when he throws it so far to the wayside..!” 
Her son and his wife, Clara, were out of the house and were searching.
Are they not aware of how she is? Always running amok and getting into trouble with the neighbors and disturbing the guardians and kami who linger.
She nearly growls as the sound of Clara’s wind chimes. The noise breaks her concentration and worsens her growing headache. 
Where on earth was Yatamo? Have they really not found her yet-
There’s a knock at the door. Katsumi freezes, her eyes widening as spiritual energy flows into the home. A familiar one too.
You...
Gripping her staff, Katsumi moves quick and steady, and if she willed it, frost would fill the windows to show that he wasn’t welcome.
But the chance that he has Vivi... she can’t risk it.
Swallowing, Katsumi grabs the doorknob and opens it.
Her glare immediately gives way to horror.
An elderly man in a kimono and haori stood before her. With thin arms and even thinner cheeks. Despite the frail appearance, he cradled Vivi close to his chest, with nothing but sorrow in his face.
His tail peaks out from between his feet, and he bows solemnly.
“I apologize for this meeting, Katsumi.”
“What have you done to her?” Katsumi lunges forward and unhooks Vivi from his grasp. Vivi’s entire body was coated in blood, her skin cold and cracking. “What did you do to her-?” Katsumi demands again, tears welling in her eyes as she glares accusingly at him. The kitsune frowns, and stands straight. 
“I swore an oath to protect my descendants-“
“She isn’t your descendant!” She says, stomping her foot against the ground and mustering all the hate she could. “I told you to leave, and never bother my family ever again. Now my mago is- why would you hurt her?”
“I didn’t. A mimic in the forests did, next to the mountains of Yamo-no-kami.” Katsumi‘s lips twitch, and she turns away from Mystery, instead examining Vivi’s body. Her torn clothing and her shallow breathing. 
“You did something to her.”
“I had to, Katsumi, the mimic tore through her with the intent to kill. It was either this, or her life.” 
Katsumi‘s shoulders begin to tremble, bitter tears slipping down her cheeks and onto Vivi’s neck.
“Leave... leave at once!” 
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want it to come to this.”
”Out!”
“As you wish.” 
The wind chimes trill, and the man’s footsteps lightly tap the porch until he vanished from sight.
The chill from the wind seeped in, but Katsumi didn’t tear her eyes away from Vivi as she rushed to the infirmary. The one place she hoped she would never have to utilize. Never this soon.
“Vivi.. why did you let this happen...!” Katsumi asks, but it was more to herself than to Vivi, who slept unconcerned for the sob rising in her grandmother's throat.
-
Her body... hurts. It hurts a lot. She could hardly feel it, but what she could feel ached.
Vivi’s eyes were shut tightly, and every breath made her shudder. Only for her body to ache more and more. 
There's murmuring around her, it’s... somewhat familiar... Okaasan and Otousan...
Maybe she just had a bad dream? Or.. something...
“Vivi, darling?” Okaasan says. 
Crap. They caught her... swallowing thickly, Vivi cracks an eye open. It’s easier than she expects, because the only light is a flickering candle that’s.. somewhere around her. Okaasan and otousan are there, whispering to one another. Immediately to her left, baba is lightly stroking her hair.
“How are you feeling Vivi?” Otousan leans close, cupping her cheek. Breath hitching, Vivi recoils from the pain. 
“Oh- I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
There’s a moment of silence, Vivi feels herself drifting in and out, laying her head back on the considerably more comfortable pillow than the... the ground. 
“Vivi,” Grandma says, voice raspier than usual, “we need you to stay awake. Your Ojisan is coming to visit.”
“...Oji Fumi?”
“Yes.”
“...why?”
The adults pause and share a silent glance, before looking down at her sadly. “You got hurt today, and your arm, leg, and ribs are broken. He’s going to come and patch you up.”
“O...okay...”
It hurts.. a lot. But maybe Fumihito will bring her some candy...? 
That would be nice.. the gummies are always nice...
-
The months have become chillier lately. Mystery sits on a tree branch, taking the form of a small bird, and he stares at the house quietly.
Since he brought Vivi home, almost none of the family members have left the house. Some have come and gone, many whom Mystery recognized, but Vivi hadn’t stepped outside once besides for a visit to a shrine. Where she hobbled around in crutches with her arm bound in bandages. 
Mystery remembered wincing, but he knew she was bound to be hurt regardless. It’s fortunate that it was just a few broken bones... It was fortunate that they kept her inside to heal. Who knew what sort of thing she could have done had she had the freedom to leave...
Yip!
Perking up, Mystery hops in place. Tempted to fly and scan the area for any dastardly foxes who may come about...
No. That wouldn’t be the case. Mystery made sure that no creature dared to harass his family... perhaps he’s just imagining things-?
There’s two more yips, and then a howl. 
His feathers ruffle as he launches himself into flight. Gliding toward the home urgently as the fox noises continued.
How is it possible- where is it coming from? Surely Katsumi wouldn’t allow a fox into the home, even if she was begged for it! So then-
Mystery lands on the roof, and quickly, he hops to the edge where the court yard was.
It was fairly sized, with a tree standing tall and filled with bird feeders and chimes. Decorations...
“-Yeah, I went to the Inari shrine for a blessing!”
Mystery would have gasped if he could, his eyes honing in on what was before him. Part of him wanted to pray it wasn’t real.
“...Is that really what you think? You’re weird!”
It was Vivi. 
She was sitting in a chair, her crutches stacked awkwardly beside her, and her leg wrapped in a cast.
No.. that wasn’t supposed to happen!
Her hands were blackened, the nails sharp.
She had fox ears, and a large puffy tail that was a brilliant white color, much like his own...
And before her, a small spirit that resembles a cat sat. The two making small talk.
She never spoke to spirits before... what is the meaning of this? Mystery hops anxiously, coming closer. The tail- the ears, they had to be fake. Yes. Stage make up put on her so that way she can play even while stuck inside-
Her ear twitches on its own. Mystery’s heart stops. Vivi twists her head and their eyes meet.
For a second she looks surprised, only for a smile to come across her now fox-like face.
Mystery turned and flew away as quickly as he could, just as she started to wave to him.
What has he done?
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doubleshotofsomething · 4 years ago
Text
Needy
[ This is my submission for @sourpatchkidsandacokecan​ ‘s Little Darlin’ Mystery AU challenge. It is a three part soulmate au inspired by the song ‘Needy’ by Ariana Grande, the prologue and epilogue do not count as part 1/3.]
There is nothing wrong with wanting more. You deserve the love you give to others. You deserve it more than anyone. 
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Summary: The end is the beginning. The beginning is the end. You can still love someone and not want them in your life.
Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Thor x Reader
Warnings: angst...aNGST?? fluff ( i think its there, im not sure, but yes). Loki is alive here folks...and... everyone is learning to not be idiots?
Prompts: soulmate au. song prompt
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series masterlist
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Epilogue
Born a King.
There are so many things Thor doesn't remember missing about home. The sound of his footsteps as he walked on the bridge, the glimmer of gold when light reflected on it, or the creatures that Earth could never have.
He still had Asgard, at every smile and every nod as he would walk past his people. At every meal and every feast with his people, every conversation with Valkyrie, and every disagreement with Loki. He still had home in them.
Born a King.
He doesn't remember missing the bruises of battles fought, or the stiff muscles of every war won. The anticipation before a fight, or the unpredictability of space. The adrenaline that came with every spark of lightening, the power that came with the energy coursing through his blood. He doesn't remember missing any of that about home.
He doesn't remember why he keeps getting coffee grains of that brand, or how Loki survived in space. He can't remember what colour the ceiling was in the throne room or why he keeps leaving Stormbreaker in the closet. He doesn't remember that being part of home.
Born a King.
He doesn't remember what it felt like when you walked in through the door, or how the look in your eyes made him feel every time you found him on the couch –  that too small for two couch –  waiting for you. He doesn't remember the way you would try and squirm your way out of his grip in the morning, trying to escape before he made you late again.
He doesn't remember hating the little jokes you would make, or the stupid way you stumbled over your words when he got you flustered. He doesn't remember getting annoyed at the sight of the missing toothbrush next to his, or the milk that he keeps getting and ends up getting spoiled because no one drinks it, or the coffee that's slowly filling up the cupboard. He doesn't remember hating the thought of you.
When the hell did you become home to him?
Born a fucking King.
Then why is the thought of you, sharing your jokes with someone else, making him feel so powerless?
Why is the possibility of another man in your bed, your sheets, poisoning his judgement?
He was born a king, powerful and strong. So, why... why did leaving you make him feel so weak?
Thor was made for a throne, a Kingdom. Not a woman, not a Midgardian woman.
But he doesn't remember yearning for something he cannot have when he was with you. He doesn't remember missing the land he was raised on when he was with you.
He doesn't remember missing home. Especially not when it was curled up on his lap, face buried in his neck as you fell asleep. Not when you smiled at him like that and kissed him like that and held onto him like... like... like you weren't made for anyone else but him.
It has been over a year, but you still failed to leave his mind.
It has been over a year and he still can't unlove you.
"I don't have anything left to give."
How much had your mate taken from you, for you to think that you had to give him something to stay?
How much had everyone taken before you became complacent enough to still give?
Even when you had nothing, you still tried to give him something to stay.
You must think the worst of him, right now. You offered yourself to him, ready to defy fate and nature, for him, and he still chose to leave you.
 Thor turned to look at Bucky. His arms were crossed over his chest as he faced Tony, nodding every so often as the man went on about mission strategy. To his right sat Wanda, his wife.
Thor could understand, if he tried to, why someone would not be with their soulmate. He could understand, if he listened, why he chose her. He could come to see reason, he didn't choose you either when the time came, but...
This was you.
Thor may not have chosen to stay, but he still couldn't move on. Not when every fibre of his being still knew what Saturday morning felt like with you.
Blue locks on blue, a colour that just won't seem to choose you.
"Thor..." Bucky raises an eyebrow at him, in question. "You good, buddy?"
He frowns at that. Because no, I'm not good and how could you still be okay? and how did you manage to forget the sound of her footsteps?
Thor shakes his head, eyebrows furrowing as he studies him. For the first time since they had met, he studies the man with another woman on his arm –  in his heart.
"You must be so hard to please." He finally says, leaning back against his chair as he scans Bucky one last time.
Thor didn't mean to find you; he was looking for Jane when your car hit him. He didn't mean to keep coming back, he just needed to make sure you were alright. He didn't want to love someone else, but he willingly fell for your fool's gold the second he saw you laugh.
You made him come back for more, until he decided he just wanted to have it all. You made him want things he didn't know he wanted and taught him things that he would have gone his entire existence without knowing. You taught him what love, selfless and unconditional, looked like – felt like... And he couldn't even think about wanting it from someone else.
How could your soulmate want it from someone else?
Bucky frowns at first, confused, then his face visibly hardens. "We're bonded, not matched—"
"Doesn't matter—" Thor stands, hand tightening around stormbreaker. "—I don't care. We're both wrong... But I learn from my failures."
  ---
 You were over it. Really.
A year later and you could walk into your apartment, look at everything and not cry yourself to sleep.
You could separate your own colours, and do your own dishes, and slice up your own peppers. You could roll over and not have to bump into another being in your bed, you could get out of bed and not be late for work.
You couldn't sleep in the dark anymore, but that's not something a bedside lamp can't fix.
The window was jammed again, and the caretaker had reverted to being difficult. Your neighbour woke up one morning and realised Nickelback was his spirit music – whatever that means – so he made sure you heard it too. The couch was still too big for just you and there was that empty space next to the milk, that you can't seem to fill...
But you don't cry whenever it rains and Bucky has stopped trying to reach you, so all in all... Progress.
Good.
Great.
"Jesus Christ—" You nearly jumped into your ceiling, pressing a hand on your chest and shutting your eyes.
Your groceries are scattered on the floor, and your heart is racing. You take a moment to catch your breath, before opening your eyes back up.
He's waiting for you. He has been waiting all day, sitting on the coffee table and staring down at the passage that lead to your door. You're home and he remembers how it felt.
He's waiting for you to calm down, to take a breath. He remembers how you never liked unannounced guests, but he couldn't risk you driving away the second you saw him in the parking lot.
You're looking at him now, finally looking at him after all this time. And he hates how your eyes narrow at him.
He can hear your heartbeat, and he's worried you might pass out if it doesn't slow down. He can feel your anger, from where he's sitting, and he can see it in your eyes –  in your stance, in the way you're not wearing that pendant he had made for you.
He left you and that warrants your anger.
He didn't stay when you needed him to, and that justifies your fury.
But his key still fits in the lock, and his fingerprint still deactivates the security alarm. So, surely you don't hate him that much, right?
He wants to say something, tries to say something, but he draws blank. What else does a man say to the woman he let go?
Sorry I didn't stay?
Sorry I didn't fight harder?
Sorry I was too weak to choose you?
"What do you want?"
You speak first though. Your tone harsh to his ears, but it's enough for him to remember why he should have listened to you.
"You."
He's serious. As serious as he was on the day he left, when he told you he couldn't stay – knowing what you were.
So, you don't believe him.
Why should you?
You put your heart on your sleeves, and let him in. Then, as soon as the going got tough, as soon as things got uncomfortable, he leaves.
You don't believe him. Not when you've spent the past year wondering which part of you keeps giving them a reason to leave.
You do not believe him. Because you're done being that idiot. Because you're not that desperate. Because you deserve better.
"I don't believe you." You tell him, glaring at him, at clear sky blues.
He doesn't argue, like you expect him to. He doesn't force it down your throat, like you expect him to. He doesn't demand, or yell, or break anything.
He just nods, slow and understanding.
You don't believe him, and you don't forgive him. And that's okay with him?
He can read the confusion so clearly on your face, it's almost as if he never left. Except he did, and now he has to learn.
"What do you need me to do?" He asks, leaning his elbows against his knees as he looks up at you. "What do you need me to do, to earn your forgiveness?"
What?
You blink at him. Because no. Because not today. Because you were just learning to live without him, and he pulls this stunt?
"I want you." He states, blue eyes unwavering as they stare back at you. "I want you. I want us. I have spent this past year trying to forget, trying to live—to exist— without you... I failed. I failed when I didn't stay, and I failed when I chose to listen to anyone but you.
"I see you everywhere. I feel you everywhere. In my thoughts, in my dreams, in my heart. And every time I think I can get through a task without thinking about you, I hear your voice. I hear your ridiculous laugh and I spend the rest of the day trying to find it, trying to find you—"
"That's not fair—"
"—it's not fair," he agrees, almost instantly, eyes glistening to match yours. "It's not fair. Because fate made you for someone else. But it feels like you were put in this world for me to find. It's not fair because I wasn't made for someone else... but I can't even function without you.
"It's not fair, for me to be here, and ask you to want me back. So I won't. I won't ask you to have me or to believe anything I say. You gave me your trust once and I broke it, and I know that. I failed you, and I'm willing to spend the rest of my life apologising for that— to make up for that... Tell me what you need me to do, is all I ask."
If you were mad before, then you were angry now. Furious, even.
Words. Words. Words.
That's all the whole lot of them have ever been good at. Promising things they can't give, telling you things they shouldn't, preaching and never practising.
Steve had words for you, promises of keeping Bucky away from dangerous missions. Suddenly, you're allowed on the compound because he got too injured to be treated at the Tower.
Wanda had words for you too, telling you all about how she would make sure he never tried to contact you again unless it's an emergency. You've seen him ten times in one week, and none of those were emergencies.
Bucky had the most words for you, though. Preaching about the happiness you deserve and the loneliness you don't, yapping about finding someone but ruining it the second you do. He tells you to move on, to be happy with someone else, but you can barely sleep at night with all his hovering. He smothers and lurks, talking about fixing things.
You tell him to go on less missions, he listens and nods but never agrees. Why would he listen when you’re not his wife?
He talks about forgiveness and promising to be a better mate and friend to you. You listen and nod, but you don’t forgive. Why should you when he’s not your husband?
And now, Thor. The last person you expected to see back in your life, is giving you words. Telling you things. Baseless words and empty promises.
Have you ever seen anything so hollow?
Tears blur your vision, and you don't need to look at your hands to know they're shaking. You're pissed, and hurt and tired of all this bullshit, and you've had just about enough.
"Haven't you people taken enough from me?" Your voice isn't as stable as you had wanted it to be, but it's still yours. "You lot show up, whenever you like, just to take. You don't care about what you leave behind or the shit I have to deal with, all you want to do is take. And take. And take. Even when there's nothing, you still take – what more do you want?"
Your words sit heavy on his chest, and his heart aches for you. He doesn't want to take, but he also didn't stay when you were the only offer on the table.
You struggle to speak past the lump in your throat. "I was ready, to choose you. I told you that I wanted you and you left—" you quickly wipe the tears just as they slide down your cheeks, "—you left, Thor. You can't do this, you can't just walk in here and talk that bullshit like I didn't—like I didn't crash and burn because of you."
"Do you want me to leave?" He hopes you say no. He hopes you ask him to stay and hold you, because he won't be able to walk passed you and leave.
He's hoping you don't break down in front of him, because then he can't leave. And he can't stay for the wrong reasons, he can't stay without your clear-headed say so.
The sound that comes out of you when he asks that, has his stomach cramping for even suggesting that. Because you're staring at him in utter disbelief for saying that, for putting it in the air, for making you even think about it.
"How dare you—"
"Y/N—"
"I never wanted you to leave—" he's getting up from the table and crossing the room to you, before you even finish, "—you did that all on your own."
He doesn't touch you, though. He lost that right a year ago, and he understands. He has a great deal to learn and a lot to amend... so, he'll only stare until you can stomach his touch.
He'll only stare, until he can learn from his mistakes.
He'll only stare, until he's earned the privilege to hold you...
Until he's earned your love, once again.
You deserve better, you know that now, and so does he.
So, he'll be better.
---
THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading this. Thank you so much for all your support and feedback. And thank you so very much for just being here.
Thank you to @sourpatchkidsandacokecan​ for letting me participate. Your challenge is amazing and so unique(it’s closes on the 20th incase anyone wants to join). Thank you
To anyone that related to this fic, I want you to know that I am so very sorry that someone made you feel that way. Please know that you are not needy or too much. You deserve the love that you give. You deserve selfless and unconditional love. You deserve better.
---
Tagging: @sourpatchkidsandacokecan​ , @decadentsoulbiscuitgoth​
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seolar-system · 5 years ago
Text
cs ‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ drapetomania
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✫ Genre: idk, maybe a little soft?
✫  Request:  I wanted to suggest 5 and 7? With San? If that's okay. And a suggestion for a plot could be anything like a pirate au 
5:    “Why are you helping me?” 7: “Just trust me.”
✫ a/n: One day I might continue this.. Like I really feel like this needs a pt.2 ;)
An Im sorry that it took me so long buut you know these past days have been kind of weird :D 
"You sure that you can handle that?" The captain looked at me with suspiciousness and I tried to build myself up, nodding confidently. I felt, how someone was staring at me, and as I looked around, some of the crew members were checking me out, with some ambiguous smiles.
"My Ship, My Rules. Get on." Finally the captain moved and I could get on board. I didn't know if I would regret this. But for now, I was fine with anything that could get me away from here. I walked around the deck and observed everything with curiosity, when 2 men coming on board got my attention. One of them had an immense presence and even though I was standing on the other side of the ship, I could feel his strange aura as well. They passed by and as this strange man looked up, our eyes met. He noticed that a ship was not my place to be, but he just smiled softly."M'Lady." Something felt odd. I made a small step back and bumped into the wooden deck rail. "No need to make our little guest feel insecure and why even trying to hit on her? You will just sit in a cell and asking for mercy." the second man pushed him forwards.
 It was when I noticed, that he was wearing handcuffs behind his back, before they both disappeared under the deck. It wasn't much later before the ship was setting sail and starting its journey towards the horizon. I stood at the bow and gazed towards the sunset, but I wasn't alone for long before the captain stood by my side. "Have you found your place to sleep yet? Even though I don't want to give you any extra treatment, I think you should sleep in a cabin instead of the dormitory." He nodded towards his crew and I understood.
He leads me under the deck, where all the hammocks for the crew members hang. The air smelled like sweat and kitchen and I was relieved when we continued walking down the hallway, away from the smell and the eyes. We were passing cabins filled with wares before he stopped and pointed at a door."It is probably not what a Lady like you knows. But you better get used to it."
"Thank you, I will." gracefully I smiled at him, before he left me alone. 
I looked around the hallway and noticed something shimmering a few cabinets further. Making sure, no one was watching, I walked towards the shimmering thing, but I still couldn't really make out, what it was.
"What is a nobility doing on a ship like this?" I gasped and I recognized the young man from before."I'm not a nobility and why do you care?" his chains were rattling as he stood up and held on to the metallic bars, which were the cause of the shimmering I have noticed before. 
He chuckled. "Your necklace told me." his eyes were fixed on it and I quickly held on to  it. "So why are you here then? Running away from a forced marriage?" my eyes grew bigger and my mouth stood open. "H-how?"
He let go of the bars and pushed his hair, out of his face.
 "Let me guess.. Your father wanted you to marry some kind of officer, because of the family honor." Something about him felt odd.It seemed like his coat never has been washed before and his earrings were shimmering in the dark.
"Oh where are my manners." he bowed politely "My name is Choi San, but you can call me San." he gave me a friendly wink and looked at me expectant.
 I have been taught to greet everyone with respect, so I did a curtsy and revealed my identity " Y/N. Daughter of Y/N/Father"
"It's a pleasure to meet you" he looked down the hallway, where the crew members were chatting. "Let me give you a tip: Stay away from the crew. Don't walk around at night and the most important, lock your room whenever you are inside," he revealed a worried look on his face. My eyes switched between him and the others. "Why are you telling me that? I don't know anything about you and there must be a reason for you to be handcuffed." I raised my chin and turned around."Besides I should not talk to you. Have a good day." I was about the leave, as he began talking again.
 "Other than you, I know what it is like to be on a ship. These men over there are nothing more than wretched beggars just waiting for something to put their dick in."I froze in my movements and starred at the crew. Even though I didn't want to admit it, he was right about it. He clicked his tounge,  slid down the wall and closed his eyes."Get some rest M´Lady. This is going to be a loooong and hard trip."
-
The days passed and there was still no land in sight. My stomach began to get upset about the permanent pitching and tossing from the boat. I took San's words serious and tried to stay safe: Every night, I would make sure that no one was following me and every time, I would hear him saying "Good night M´Lady." before I would lock myself in the cabin. 
But one night it was different. He didn't wish me a good night, and even though I shouldn't care, it felt weird. I walked towards his cell, where he stood at the porthole and looked out into the night. It was silent for a while before he started talking: "Make sure to not be on deck tomorrow. Stay inside your cabin. Even though you might be hungry, do not go outside and keep. The door. locked." he turned around and walked towards me.
"Here take this. Make sure to wear it tomorrow." He held out a necklace, with a small compass attached to it. "What? Why?" confused I looked at him but he just reached out, took my hand and placed the necklace inside it before he closed his hand around mine. "Just do it, okay? And now.." he released my hand and walked back to the porthole. "Have a good Night M´Lady." He ended the conversation and left me with many questions. I knew that he wouldn't give me any answers now, so I decided to just go to bed.
However I couldn't fall asleep. I held the necklace between two fingers and took a closer look. My attention was brought to the back of the compass where the letters C and S were engraved. It was when I heard some steps on the deck. 
It was early in the morning and everyone should be sleeping... I got out of bed and walked towards the door, as I recalled San´s words. What is going on?
My curiosity won over my rationality and I opened the door, popped my head out and looked around. The hallway was filled with the sound of sleeping Sailors and the ships crunching wood, as I stepped on to the hallway. I sneaked past the sailors and got on deck. Assuming I wouldn't meet anyone, the Helmsman caught me off guard and wished me a good morning, but besides him, the deck was empty and peaceful. The wood squeezed under my weight, whilst I strode around the deck, trying to catch a glimpse of the rising sun at the horizon, through the misty morning.
"PIRATES! EVERYONE G-" a scream disturbed this peaceful morning.I turned around and witnessed the Helmsmann getting knocked out, causing his knocked-out body to fall with a dull thud. My body was in shock and ready to screech, when someone grabbed me from behind and prevented me from doing so. "What is a beautiful lady like you doing on a ship like this?" someone smirked in my ear. I identfied the person as a strong male, who was used to a life on board. He smelled like rum and seaweed and probably haven't got the chance to wash him in some days, maybe even weeks. I tried to free myself but in vain. "Shh princess, you don't want to get hurt, do you?"A shiver went down my spine, when I noticed the big ship through the thick fog, loaded with greedy pirates, who one after one jumped on this ship. I once again tried to free myself, but this time, I bit on his finger and hit a sensitive spot. Immediately he let go and crawled up in pain. " Ohh you gonna regret that very soon!" he groaned and tried to chase after me. It was a big mess: the deck was filled with sailors and pirates fighting each other. Is this what San meant? Is this why I should've stayed in my cabin? But whats he got to do with this? How did he know? I had so many questions that I didn't realize the Pirate from before reaching out for my wrist. I jumped in the air end let out a squeal before I managed to run further and into someone else. I was ready to fight until I recognized the smile. It was San who held me in one arm whilst he held a sword in the other."I told you to stay inside," he smirks while fighting with someone. Puzzled I looked at him, but I didn't ask any question since he protected me against everyone. We worked our way through the battlefield, as we came to a stop.
"Jump!" in the act of fighting, he shouted at me in a commanding way.
"You must be crazy! Im no-" and before I could protest any further, he pushed me over the edge.The water hit me hard and my body was starting to stitch from the cold. In my chest I could hear my heart beating fast, trying its best to keep my body alive. I sank deeper into the dark, my body too paralyzed to move. Everything before my eyes went black, before my mother appeared in front of me. She reached out to me and I tried to grab her hand, but it was pointless. Asudden I felt a grip around my waist and my body got pulled toward the water surface.As soon as I surfaced I inhaled sharply and Eagerly gasping for air.
"You drowning was not part of the plan." San held my head over the surface, helping me to breathe. I never learned how to swim, since I was never asked to.I Caught and spit some seawater back to the ocean."Why are you helping me?"He chuckles
 "Just trust me, okay?" he began to swim towards a dinghy, at which he helped me to get on, before he jumped in as well and started to row. My body was shivering and I held onto myself."Come on. You don't want to sit there all day, do you?" I didn't notice him getting up and going on board of another ship. Shaking I got up and followed him.
"Our captain is finally back!" I heard someone howling, followed by cheering. I looked around and realized that this wasn't the ship I was sleeping on the past few days. This was a pirate ship!
My eyes grew wide in panic. Maybe I just should have been drowning, this probably would have been much better. "Don't be so frighten M´Lady. They wont hurt you." San stood by my side, but something on him was different, he was wearing a hat and not just any hat.
"Wait.. Are you?" 
"The captain? Indeed" He finished my sentence with a grin on his face. The whole crew went silent as he stepped forwards and started talking.
"I'm proud of you! Even though I wasn't on my ship, you kept it in a perfect condition!" a latter walked around before he continued "You guys saved me from something, I don't want to imagine... Probably you would have seen me hanging at some port... BUT let me tell you something: No one gets my head and if you mess with me, you mess with ALL of us!" the pirates started cheering and whistling. "BUT then again!" he turned around, took my hand gentleman-like and made me step forwards. 
"I did not come alone." The crew went quiet and stared at me.
"This is Lady Y/N and now part of this crew! If anyone touches you, I swear that this would be your last Lady to touch. Do you guys understand!"All of them agreed unanimous with an "AYE!" San smiled in satisfaction before he raised his fist."AND NOW, SET SAIL AND LETS GO HOME!" the crew went on and San turned around to face me "Follow me.." he let go of my hand and started walking. 
"Ladies first" he opened a door, let me step inside the captain cabin and what I got to see there, was marvelous.
 A big wooden table placed at the end of the room, in front of the windows, a king-sized bed placed in one corner and a huge map on the wall. San pulled out another chair and placed it in front of the table. He gently pushed the chair so I could sit down comfortably, before he gave me a blanket and sat down on his chair. He leaned forward and smiled, amused by my overwhelmed expression. "You probably have a lot of questions, so go on. Ask." relaxed he leaned back and I tried to sort my thoughts.
"Well.. I guess you knew they would attack since you are their capitain... So far soo good. But why did you took me with you? And where are we going now?"
"Ohh that's a really good question. Well, I knew where this ship was going to. It would sail straight to the capital. Even though you are a Lady from the upper class, I doubt that you would find a suitable way to survive without ending in a brothel or in someone's basement. As for now, we are heading for OUR capital city, or should I say Island?" he pointed towards the necklace on my neck, which he gave me before "and as long as you are wearing this, you are under my protection. No one will dare to hurt you, when they see my sign."I tried to connect the dots "But why are you doing this? Why are you helping me."
"I've seen many like you. They ended in a worse situation than what they came from. I've had enough. Seeing all those innocent girls suffer. You don't have to trust me. I can find someone who can take you to the capital or somewhere else. I will give you some pocket money for the first days but after that you will be on your own, if it's that what you wish." I don't know what it was, but something made me trust him. He was speaking the truth and from all the rumors you heard about pirates, especially their capitals, have been proven wrong by now.
 "No. Take me with you." I said with confidence, which made him smile with pride.
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nad-zeta · 4 years ago
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Match up! (◠‿◠✿)
hiya!! can i pls get a matchup for ikesen, if its ok? 💞
bi girl i prefer guys! ambiverted intp, gryffindor, n true neutral. i have an older twin sis n i love/hate her sm lmao!!
i have medium-length straight-ish black hair (w/ a side bang to the right) & dark brown eyes!! im 5'5-ish, fun fact: im a filipina!
sooo im a complex daydreamer!! i NEED attention/affirmation or ill feel unwanted/sad. emotional scorpio, im quite sensitive. anxiety, i overthink too much! quiet w/ people im not close w/. easily annoyed but guilty after ‘cause im soft-hearted. im like half funny/playful/kind & half deep/mature/awkward- hopeless romantic! i have a way w/ words, sorta poetic? i wanna be the best! sorta socially anxious, i have a fear of judgement. im not innocent but ppl think i am at first. i look fine but deep down im a big mess. rlly smart & knowledgable. vv passionate, big nerd actually! im like a kid w/ my twin but w/ others im more mature. im the type to do fun stuff and loosen up but would also just cuddle and have long convos. im vv good w/ technology! very imaginative, i come up with stories a lot- around others im very quiet because i literally have no idea what to say. actually a big history fanatic, hehe. i act confident but im not rlly, actually vv insecure and i regret a lot of things.
a habit of mine is that i tend to drift away and just… think? i also tend to care a lot abt my appearance! i get competative but there are also times when im just chill. i get vv embarrassed when i lose control tho n i regret it sm :(( i have loads of trouble asking for help even if i like to help others a lot! i like being organised but i tend to be… chaotic.
hsjsh- fun fact: there are times where im just,, super hyper n say the weirdest things? im good in school but,, im lazy yknow- i love math (surprisingly, i got a natural talent?), science (esp abt stars n space), history, and english (actually my 2nd languange but im very fluent) the most. bilingual but im also learnin french! wanna learn latin too tho but id break down- i have the fear of the unknown, failure, n loneliness! im scared of the future cause its beyond human ability to know,, the only guys ive rlly talked to r family members so my awkwardness goes 100x hsjsjs
oh, i rlly love affection, but i need a lot of space too, tho! girls gotta have privacy- games r a hUge part of my life, so is technology and the modern era! i actually like sports too- not very good at em tho :((
some likes: gaming, jokes (esp corny/stupid/puns), space, stars, weapons (esp swords/guns), philosophy, psychology, testing myself, affection, animals, doing exhilirating things, music, movies, books, writing, astrology, astronomy, learning new things, & mythology.
some dislikes: too much heat, school presentations, creepy dolls, being under pressure, dirty things, blind faith, & annoying people.
tysm! omg i hope this isnt too long- i think this is too long?? yIkes i hope that this is ok!! love ur writing btw! stay safe 💞
Hi hi love! thank you so much for the request! You sound like a wonderful person and omw it soooo cool that you have a twin! I actually think she sent in a request right after you did lol! Anyways sorry for making you wait sooooo long and i hope you enjoy it! @x-joie-x
 So i match you with...................... Mitsuhide
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The first time you meet this sneki boy, you were quiet and reserved. War council had just ended and you were named as a princess of the Oda forces. You were super socially awkward, and anxiety was slowly starting to creep in, as the curious warlords started to surround you. It wasn’t until Mitsuhide had pulled you away in a teasing manner to save you from the crowd that you finally started to calm down. He had noticed this new little mouse had been on edge since arriving. However, he didn’t suspect you of being an assassin or spy as, during the whole council, your hands shook, and you could barely speak up against Nobunaga’s demanding and commanding tones. 
Mitsuhide had found you incredibly amusing from the first moment you walked in, you caught this foxes eye. He didn’t know if it was the innocence or naïve purity that just seemed to radiate from you, but for some reason when he was looking at you, he found that he simply couldn’t look away.
It took all of one day for all the warlords to officially drop all suspicions of you. You were just such a sweetheart how could they not instantly love you and feel the need to protect you. You had started helping a few of the maids that first morning after you were named princess. You didn’t want to be a freeloader, so you worked hard to earn your keep and soon, the maids were fighting over who would get to work with you cause all of then just loved and adored you so much. 
You got annoyed with Hideyoshi when he first found you helping the maids, as he was 100% started micromanaging you. You lost you cool and raised your voice at him, TBH Hideyoshi didn’t think anything of it, but it wasn’t until you had pitched up at his manor an hour later to apologize for being so rude to him that he realized what a sweet and sensitive person you truly were. Of course from that moment onward you had gained yourself a big doting brother.
All the Oda forces agreed that you were too sweet and naïve for your own good, so Mitsuhude was assigned to give you princess lesson to prepare you for your new life as Oda princess. You were super excited when Mitsuhide had told you that he was going to teach you a variety topics such as economics, politics, history and self-defence. You even managed to impress the sneki boy, by getting all the questions correct on the first test he had handed you. You had found that first test incredibly easy as you were a bit of a history buff, and all the questions had been based on Nobunaga’s history. This low key shook the sliver kitsune a little bit, as this proved that not only were you pure and naive but you were also super smart. You kind of reminded him a little bit of Mitsunari, a cleaver professor with their head in the clouds. 
Mitushide praised you for your ability to pick up on concepts quickly and work diligently as a student, “I dare say little one, you are the best student a teacher could ask for.” You spend masses amount of time with sneki boi, and through that time you realized just how sweet Mitsuhide truly was, although he was a massive tease leaving you a blushy mess almost every day after lessons with his teasing comments. And naturally, the more time Mitsuhide had spent with you, the more in love he fell. It was also noted by the fellow warlords that, Mitsuhide always wore a soft gentle expression when it came to you, and in your experience he had been a kind gentle patient teacher. SO naturally you found yourself more and more drawn to this mysterious man.
Through all the time spent with the kitsune, you found yourself opening up more and more. He was one of the few people that got to see your playful side. You now would make the puniest, corniest jokes he has ever heard, leaving this kitsune in a fit of laughter mid-way through a lecture. Not only that, but he loved loved loved your competitiveness side. 
This side of you slowly started to surface after the 3rd or 4th self-defence lesson when you started challenging the kitsune to rematches whenever he would pin you down, ultimately beating you in your little makeshift sword fight. Boy oh boy, don’t even get me started on the shooting lessons, once you were able to fire the rifle, you were straight-up challenging this boy, the best marksmen around to a shoot-off. “Come on Mitsuhide, the first one to get 100 bulls-eyes in a row wins, and the loser has to buy tea.” Needless to say, you always lost and even though every day you would make that exact bet, Mitsuhide would always insist on sticking you for tea and lunch as reward for being such a good student. 
He really enjoyed spending time with you and would absolutely insist on holding your hands whenever the two of you were on your way to the tea house together after your lessons. “I can’t have my clumsy little mouse tripping and falling now can I.” Every day without fail, he would say that to you as he wraps his big hand around your small one, while leading you to your favourite tea house.
The two of you would talk about everything and anything over tea, these topics ranged from you making stupid jokes, to talking about random topics such as philosophy and psychology. Either way, Mitsuhide loved to spend time with you. He would always listen to and hang on to every word you said, storing every word in his memory. 
You were his precious little mouse, and he knew you were an extremely sensitive creature. If anyone dared say a single bad word to you or make you sad, they would face the wrath of this very protective kitsune. Like one time, one of the visiting daimyos had talked down to you for accidentally bumped into him. You were busy cleaning the windows when you accidentally lost your balance and bumped into him. He was so disgusted that a mere maid had touched him. He started yelling at you and insulting you, this escalated to such a point that he even had his hand raised ready to hit you for getting dirty window water on his shoes. That’s when sneki boi decided to intervene. Mitsuhide legit stood protectively in front of you with his rifle pointed at the man’s heart, with the full intention to shoot. “Golly me it appears like you are quite the troublesome little mouse, my dear.” He then turned his sharp gaze towards the daimyo “I do suggest you apologize to the Oda princess, lest you want to answer for your crimes directly to Nobunaga.” The man simply scoffed and walked away. Mitsuhide then turned to you and enveloped you in a warm hug while kissing the top of your head, “Are you alright, my dear little mouse?” Mitsuhide looked into your beautiful eyes and gently took your hands in his, “Come little one, I have something I wish to show you.”
The two of you walked hand in hand to Mitsuhide’s manor, Mitsuhide led you out into his garden, where you saw something so beautiful you could cry. The garden was filled with flowers and candles and in the centre was a table set up, with a feast laid out op top of it. 
Mitsihide had told you that night that he was hopelessly in love with you. He was overjoyed when he had discovered that you like him, was also a hopeless romantic and that you had an incredibly poetic, romantic way with words. You handed him a letter in which you had expressed your feelings for him in the form of a beautifully written poem. You were actually intending to leave the poem on his desk as a way of confessing your feelings. This instantly melted sneki bois heart into a giant puddle and he couldn’t help but pull you in for a sweet kiss. 
After diner Mitsuhide had led you deeper into the garden where a fluffy blankie was sprawled out on the grass, he guided you to sit down and the motioned for you to lookup. Above you, a thousand stares were shooting across the sky in a big meteor shower. Mitsuhide pulled you into his arms and kissed your cheeks as the two of you watched the sky. He always remembered every detail you had told him about yourself, so when you revealed that you loved the sky and the stars, he knew he had to incorporate this rare meteor shower in your date somehow. 
This had sparked a new tradition between the two of you, to stargaze and spend the whole night in deep conversation. These nights were full of love and affection as Mitsuhide would pull you into his lap and just hold you there for hours and hours as the two of you talked and watched the sky
Of course sneki boi also had a bit of a spontaneous side, and would take you on exhilarating trips around Nobunaga’s territories. They were mostly missions but after you had nagged Nobunaga to give you permission to go along on the missions, you and Mitsuhide would finish the official work asap so that the two of you cuties had plenty of time to enjoy yourself in the new environment.
Mitsuhide loves everything about you from your slight messiness, to your love of learning new things. He also knows that his sweet little mouse sometimes needs some space and alone time and will be sure to give you as much alone time as you need to recharge. He knows that you will seek him out when you have had enough of your own company. He will always welcome you back with outstretched arms when you have had enough alone time, and shower you with endless amounts of affection.
Whenever you are feeling insecure or worrying about the future Mitsuhide is right there by your side, whispering words of affection and reassurance in your ears. He makes sure to remind you every day just how perfect you are and just how much he loves you. 
Often you can be found in sneki boys lap with your head resting comfortably in the crook of his neck as he soothingly strokes your hair. Don’t be surprised if this sneaky kitsune drops a few kissed on your nose, cheeks or lips during these quiet and peaceful moments, just as a way to convey how much he loves and adores you.
Other potential matches……………..Masamune 
I hope you enjoyed it dear and i hope you have the best day! 
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elysianswoo · 5 years ago
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Reach for the Calm
Genre: friends to lovers!au | fluff 
Member: Mark x Reader
Warnings: swearing
Word Count: 1 300
Part 1 | Part 2
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“Mark, it’s time to wake up now” you yell while jumping on his bed. The bed was big enough to fit both you and your best friend comfortably. However, that fact didn’t stop you from falling straight on him, making the poor boy let out a groan into his pillow. Laughing you get off and lay down beside him, giving him enough space to turn around on his back. You face each other and stay silent for a moment just taking in the presence of one another. You can see that Mark still hasn’t fully woken up yet, given the fact that his eyes pull him in and out of consciousness every other second. You smile at that, having your heart beating with love for your childhood neighbour as well as best friend. Lately it has been beating with a newfound love for the boy, but it is a path you have yet to indulge in. Pushing your thoughts away you whisper a small “happy birthday Mark” making him fully open his eyes to look at you, giving you a tired smile.
“it’s been a year since the last one already, huh” he mumbled more to himself than you, while draping his arm over your waist pulling you into his chest. You fell into place right away, your head tucked under his with your legs tangled together. Cuddling wasn’t anything new to either one of you, having found comfort in each other’s embrace since a young age, it came to be a frequent occurrence. You let out a hum against his chest, confirming his question. “that’s why you have to get up and get ready, because I made you a breakfast cake”. you could feel his chest shake with silent laughter, making you smile.
“really y/n, breakfast cake?” his amused tone made you look up at him and laugh. “yes of course a breakfast cake, it is your birthday after all” you replied matter-of-factly. He just gave you a shake of his head “no, I don’t want to get up, I’m way too comfortable right now, cake can wait”. This made you get out from your embrace, opting more for the hover position, to look more intimidating. You pushed Marks shoulder into the pillow with the palm of your hand, looking down on him you gave him the best glare you could muster “Mark Lee, you better get you ass up right now and eat the cake I spent all night preparing”. Even though you tried to look as intimidating as possible Mark just found you all around adorable. Giving you a soft smile, he reached out to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear, making your cheeks heat up. “Okay, I’ll get up and eat the cake” he breathed out. Smiling you got up to leave the room, yelling out a “don’t take too long” on your way out.
Walking into the kitchen, you see his mom already seated there. “did you manage to wake him up?” she asks with a curious smile. Laughing, you tell her your struggles but that he should be down any given moment now. As if on cue, Mark slides into the kitchen. You’re all seated around the kitchen island just talking a bit until his mother walks out saying she wants to give you guys some “privacy” making both you and Mark laugh.
“so anyways, what do you want to do today? The day is yours” you say while locating the cake, cutting him a piece. “I only want to be with you” he answers nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders in the process. The fact that he’s so nonchalant about it while you almost choked on air is just straight up unfair. You try to mask your surprised half choke up with a laugh making the boy raise an eyebrow at your antics. Clearing your throat, you answer with a simple “but we’re together every day” this time you raise your eyebrows at him, resulting in him giving you a small smile. “yeah, so let’s be together today too”. Knowing this conversation will lead you nowhere you roll your eyes and mutter out a small whatever, while handing him a plate full of cake.
You eat in a comfortable silence, only being interrupted by him telling you how good the cake is, followed by a smug reply from you. You’ve both finished eating by now, but no one’s willing to break the silence that has draped itself like a blanket of serenity over both of you. Nevertheless, he’s the one who breaks the silence once again “come give me a hug” he says with his arms stretched out for you. Not giving you much time to react he pulls you down from where you were seated to in between his legs. Given the extra height from the bar stool, you again found you head tucked away under his, but he pushed your head away a bit, before pushing up the paddle under his seat for it to fall down a notch. Giving you the perfect opportunity to place your head in the crook of his neck, he mirrors your actions. You’re so close to each other that you can feel his breath dancing across your neck, and you’re sure he can feel your heart hammering its way out of your chest and into his. He lifts his head, and this time you mirror him.
“sorry I just wanted to be close to you” he whispered out but given your position and the way he looks at you with those doe eyes you’ve learned to love over the years, his voice hit you more like a tsunami almost drowning you in the process. Trying to stay afloat you give him a tiny smile, pulling him closer to you, hiding away in the crook of his neck once again. “I’ll always be close to you, Mark” you whisper against his neck, making goose bumps rise intact with your breath. The room gets draped over by the blanket again, and in the midst of the silence his mother comes walking in again, making you break away from each other. There’s a faint red colour blossoming its way onto both of your cheeks. His mom gives you both a knowing look. “your mother is asking for you y/n” she says breaking the silence. You let out a breath of relief, having an excuse to leave the awkward atmosphere that has occurred. You tell Mark you’ll be back soon while hurrying out the door.
Having left Mark alone with his mom, he let his head fall against the island counter emitting a bang. Making her chuckle. “fuck, mom” he drags out both his words making his mom laugh. “what” she answers. He looks up and there’s already a pink shadow developing on his forehead. He gives his mom a pained, but nevertheless a hopeful look “I’m in love with her” he says, resulting in a nod from his mother. “Are you going to tell her?” she asks, smiling at him. There’s a moment of silence after the question was asked. And Mark thinks, he thinks harder than he would during a math test. And if anyone were to walk in on them in the kitchen, one might think he was thinking about the answer to a question with no answer. But mark knew there was one, and when he heard the front door open and your steps approaching, he knew the answer. Looking at his mother there was a newfound beating in his heart, and he let out a confident I will, right when you entered the kitchen. And there you stood, with the power to end him without even knowing it.
And maybe that’s the reason or perhaps its because this has no answer like a math question does, but mark looks back at his mother before letting out a small
«someday"
a/n: soo,,,im not really sure if i should just end it like this or make it into a series :// do yall want a part 2? Lmfao
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zanecosh · 4 years ago
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’ ・゚ : 👽  : ・.  INTRODUCTION — Zane Wancosh  .・: 👽 :・゚ ’
⌠ CHANCE PERDOMO, TWENTY-ONE, CISMALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, ZANE WANCOSH! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in MEDICAL TRAINING; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (sunglasses in every imaginable color, serenading ‘ my heart will go on ‘ loudly at 4 am, finger guns to the pals and the gals). when it’s the (aries)’s birthday on 04/18/1999, they always request their FRENCH FRIES WITH GRAVY from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.
tw; drugs, jail/prison ??, alcohol
PAST but not rlly since i always had to mention what it did to him
- Zane was raised in Ottawa, Canada .. something he is very proud of and will mention a billion times as soon as he gets to know someone -- he will also deliberately say ‘ eh ? ‘ to let people know b ut we all know he ain’t sleek !!
- His parents had always been a loving bunch so he grew up receiving so much affection and attention that he now is a little FULL of himself but only because he seeks love and won’t stop until someone provides it for him im srry i didn’t make the law
.- So given his upbringing he’s always been the completely affectionate type, having his hands everywhere all the time and achING for hugs and small things like hand holding or just a pat  on the shoulder like he is seriously convinced that if he doesn’t get at least four hugs a day he will die a painful, lonely death
- So in addition to that, he had always been a very active, youthful and energetic kid which was pretty much something he got from his dad since he sort of kept things playful and always did the best that he could while his mom was on the stricter side but instead knew how to teach him things that were important !!
- So growing up he always made friends very easily because of how open he was ( except that time when he brought this girl home at the age of 7 because he thought she’d make a cool pet ) and because he was always vERY friendly, even if he had a tendency to be too nice at times and just got upset when people didn’t like him ?? which is honestly still the case
- Of course he loved being popular which is kind of his aspiration in most things nowadays?? he seeks to be liked so much it’s sometimes a lil sad but he will legitamately try anything to make you his friend and he wont care if ur bothered because at least then he’ll get a reaction out of you !! but yeah it’s something he never really learned bc he’s used to getting validated from his parents so he genuinely doesn’t COMPREHEND meanness ://
- It was when he was around ten ( 10 )  years old when his dad randomly moved to New York ?? which was honestly super scary to him but his mother assured him that it was for a special job which was definitely weird for him because that was the only thing she ever said when he asked her about his father and ofc zane wasn’t dumb just a little idiotic !!
- They still visited his father often where Zane was able to get to know America and New York a little better, which he definitely enjoyed even though he sort of preferred Canada always because he likes snow a lot and the fact that it kind of melts when you pee on it but anyway he was getting a bit more suspicious as he grew older
- Then on his sixteenth birthday he was able to visit his dad once more to which he then was revealed that his dad was the ring leader of a spy business !! WOW to which Zane was baffled of course bc his dad ??? who tripped over his 7th birthday cake because Zane saw a squirrel and started to chase it ?? exactly !!
- So of course, Zane wanted to start working there !! Not only because of curiosity but school was kind of boring ( ngl ) and he missed his dad a lot so while his mother was not happy about his choice at all she always believed in people doing whatever they wanted so without much time passing the male moved to New York and started working for his father !!
- it was quickly noticiable that Zane wasn’t great at spy work, considering he was incredibly clumsy and was always distracted by everything and almost shot off his left toe ONCE okay it was only onCE !! Anyway his father got a little frustrated with his chaotic energy so he gave him the jobs were he was usually with someone else so they could babysit him which was honestly better for him too bc he could make friends !!
-  So when he was around 19 that’s when he got to know his boy Landon, his main squeeze, one could even say the love of his life ( only he would say that ) but they immediately vibed with Landon being his driver even though they lowkey ended up doing stuff that completely wasn’t what his dad wanted but Zane was honestly just loving life and just doing a bit of shady stuff with his buddies was bonding ??
- HOWEVER NOT ALL THINGS CAN BE SUNSHINE AND CAKE; so they often kind of got into trouble ?? they were good at hiding and sort of running from the cops a couple of times but honestly not that much of a big deal as Zane would say but once upon a time, these assholes rlly got caught ahead of their time to which Landon then got away in time with someone from Gallagher helping while Zane honestly didn’t know what was happening n got caught ??
- To which he then ended up in jail for a year !! love carrying contraband while being high as fuck !! anyway, it was a very self reflecting time . even though he sort of learned nothing ?? anyway not even his dad could bail him out, only shorten the time if he in return joined Gallagher, a school where he would learn how to behave and use his spy knowledge to some good instead of just causing trouble !!
- Which he honestly didn’t vibe with so much because he was kind of scared of these spy kids ?? legit all of them could kill them w a look he wasn’t sure was his dad was thinking but that’s also why he chose medicial training, in order to not get hurt and if he did, he would be able to take care of himself which honestly wasn’t that much of a help when he was about to bonk this girl but ended up hitting his dick against the ground as they rolled around ?? he doesn’t wanna talk about it
- Anyway, he sort of grew into Gallagher for the most part, since he is a very adaptable person in general and was looking forward to making friends with people who were way cooler than him which was honestly a plus !! he just vibing y’all there ain’t no problem at all at all
PERSONALITY & LITTLE QUIRKS
- He’s super chaotic and all over the place, loves talking about anything and everything and sort of philophises over the most mundane things because its fun to talk about life y’all
- He has a super colorful taste in clothing and decoration and is pretty extraordinary in most things in life, whether its sunglasses or flowers on his backpack and shirts and stuff that’s way too big
- Is a slow talker and also doesn’t understand people who talk fast
- Has a habit of interrupting people mid-conversation and doesn’t realize that it could appear rude
- Loves everyone, is also super affectionate and always has an arm around his friends or will at least ask for conSENT bc that matters to him but he will most likely touch u some type of way im sorry
- Probably because he is super fidgety too, he legit has his hands everywhere all the time because he doesn’t like to stay still
- Somewhat of a class clown and certainly does not enjoy studying or any school related work so he’s kind probably always on the verge of failing ?? idk how he does it you guys
- will fist bump you but will also grab your ass
- Just wants to chill most of the time but somehow still always stressed
- Is a party ANIMAL like if there is a party, he’s there and probably drunk and high before the party even starts ?? in general i don’t think he’s been sober a day since he turned 18 who the fuck knows
- Will probably trip and fall everywhere as a drunk but he just laughs about it the second day, like he says if he doesn’t get hurt it won’t be a good party and i honestly worry about him and i’m not sure how he’s still alive
- does the peace sign way too often
- could be considered a sunny boy but since he’s from cold ass Canada he loves snow way much more and the cold for some reason
- has the biggest potty mouth like he doesn’t even realize he’s swearing
- is extremely honest like he will just stand there listening to someone complain and be like well that’s a bitch
-  also huge flirt and also catches feelings fast and will mostly say it outright when he falls for someone like boy has seriously no shame ?? he will feel the heartbreak but he believes he can deal with it better than questioning it all the time and if they feel the same he will just loVE
- he also might be polyamerous he doesn’t know it yet bc he’s never had that many chances but he just likes to love whatever
- his head is everywhere and nowhere at the same time so it’s possible that he doesn’t make sense 80% of the time
- has tattoos that don’t make sense at all, i like to refer pewdiepie or uhhhh what’s his name uhhhh kURTIS CONNER ?? im too lazy to fact check i been writing this for an hour let me be
- knows how to juggle and thinks that’s that probably the coolest skill he’s ever learned
- has two earthworms that he got during a biology project back in high school who have been in his possession for six years now ?? ( i checked they live for four to eight ) he loves them to death ok their names are Niall and Liam ....... ( yes he was an 1D stan don’t confront him about them he’ll cry )
- is very superficial, loves the horoscope and believes in like bad luck and stuff like that, will scold u if u don’t listen to him rant about unlucky things !!
/ @gallagherintro
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csykora · 5 years ago
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[A tabby cat curled up in the middle of a bubble hockey board. Or you, being comfortable in an athletic community that’s good enough for you]
Hiiiiii! I’ve been looking at ice hockey and it seems a cool sport and something that I might want to do as a hobby. Only Im disabled. Do you think I could still do the thing? Do you have ideas on how to start doing the thing? Ive often found it hard to do sports because coaches or trainers don’t know shit about disability and so have no clue how to teach you things or what you may or may not be capable of and telling them is useless because they make assumptions about your body and gah. Cheers
Hey—
Yes. Do the thing. Please go do it! I am not your coach, not your trainer, only friendly local bone witch—which I am very annoyed to have to say because you are a great athlete to work with.
Can I point out a couple things you just said?
You’re offering to do a trainer’s homework for them.
The early game didn’t have coaches. People milled on and off in whatever situations they felt like. Coaches and trainers came onto the scene so that someone was keeping track of who was actually good at what, when they needed support, and how to use them to best effect. That’s their whole gig.
Talking to folks on this blog, I’ve learned lots of people have this impression that capital-A Athletes have some factory-settings-standard body, any deviation a disaster (and they themselves can’t be athletes because they don’t.)
I think it’s very useful to smash this idea. Every athlete is a grab bag of weaknesses and weirdnesses, from old injuries down to handedness. Every coach longs to have three right-shot defensemen, and has made peace with the fact they’re not going to get them. Their job is to play with all the mismatched pieces they do have until they fit into a team.
If you present a coach or trainer with information about your abilities, and they don’t want to use that information, the problem you got right there is a shit coach.
Despite what the National League believes, there are more than 32 coaches in the world. 
Throw a stick up here and you’ll hit another amateur coach. When we’re little, if we get a shit coach or PE teacher, we get stuck. That does real and lasting harm, which I am happy to go on at length about, but to flip it around:
Now, you are a big Zee, who wants to learn to play as a hobby, with the goal of having fun. That’s a powerful place to be.
I won’t say there aren’t stakes: you could get hurt, physically or emotionally. Sharing information about your body with other people to try to keep yourself from getting hurt all the time can be hard. Playing can make you feel physically accomplished and capable in your body, which is a deep need I think we all have, so having to back away if a team does turn out to be shit is hard. So I don’t say “you can always quit a team” lightly, but…there is no threat if you quit a shit team, no one (who matters) will get mad or make you go back.That means you can advocate for yourself, and if a reasonable shot at advocacy reveals that a coach isn’t just unfamiliar with how to do their job for someone with your disability but uninterested in doing their damn job for a disabled person, you can wave them farewell and find another.
Now, our goal is for you to find a good trainer, who just needs to be given information about what you (not someone with the ‘same’ condition, but you specifically) have got going on.
I’m going to tell you to look up an adult learn-to-skate program. Most rinks will have regular learn-to-skate and learn-to-hockey programs spaced throughout the year (often paired so you spend “first semester” on skating before the people who want to move up to hockey). Look up different rinks, talk to people about the rink culture and the coaches there. If you have the time, maybe spend a while hanging out there watching the open skates, local team practices or public classes, getting a sense what it’s like and telling yourself you have as much right to be in that barn as anyone else. Then sign up for a class. But first I want you to be devastatingly, Hepburn-ishly confident in talking about what your disability means for you.
From the information you’ve just given me, I don’t know almost anything I would need to work with you. You may or may not know that information about yourself already, but you can figure it out.
“Mild hemiplegia” is not a super-medical phrase. Hemiplegia is complete paralysis on one side of the body, where you are unable to move those muscles on purpose. A mild to moderate loss of muscle strength on one side is hemiparesis.
These terms are, to be honest, mostly used to organize medical literature. They describe very specific signs that might happen for a variety of reasons. Other symptoms like loss of sensation, loss of range of motion, involuntary muscle spasms, or loss/delay of involuntary motion (reflexes), which may or may not occur with plegia/paresis, have to be specified and described. If I were treating you I definitely wouldn’t describe your case as “hemiplegia”, I would call it “hemiparesis” with a lot more descriptive words around that (and I probably wouldn’t use either when talking to you).
It’s not that you used a word wrong. I’m concerned that 1. people have made you think you have to use A Medical Name for your disability for it to be taken seriously, but also 2. because the stroke happened so early, you’ve actually been denied care and opportunities to learn about it.
1. First, for the record, you don’t have to justify your disabled identity to me. And while I really (really) understand the self-protective urge a lot of us have to try to say, “my condition is really real and serious, it has a Real Medical Name, please believe me”, I think that (outside of a legal context where you’re seeking protected accommodations) that strategy often isn’t as useful as we hope it will be to communicate with other people in our daily lives. The people who demand to see your Really Medically Serious card before making accommodations will always find something else to demand, while people who aren’t trying to be assholes will be better able to help you if they know exactly, practically how.
It’s not that one way of talking about your disability is wrong, but I want you to talk about it in ways that are useful to you, that help you connect with other people and get you what you want.
2. I’ve worked with a lot of elders who have paralysis or hemiparesis from strokes later in life, after being able-bodied for most of their lives, and doctors and therapists jump right up in there teaching and training them to “recover” that “lost function”. They/their families can’t not know all the medical words just from hearing them over and over. But what often happens when a person is disabled since childhood is that…they aren’t seen as having “lost capacity” that can be “saved”, but as having a baseline “low level of function” that’ll never change, so much less attention is payed.
I’m using the air quotes because many people’s disabilities are present throughout their whole lives, and someone’s disability or disabled identity is not just a “problem” to be solved or gotten rid of. But people with disabilities grow and change, especially when we’re, you know, children. What often happens is that parents/authorities encourage able-bodied children to play, practicing motions and building up their bodies’ ability to move, while children with disabilities get benched from practice, benched from not just one activity but from being active at all, which means being benched from developing their bodies in the ways that might actually work for them, and from developing relationships with their bodies.
Proprioception, for example, is a combination of some fundamental ability/capacity/threshold/potential/whathaveyou and skill developed through experience that changes in context. Ever seen a baby? None of them know where the hell they are. A baby that can crawl is let loose to explore the world and bump into things that trigger their nerves until their body learns to fit all that sensation information together and use it. A baby that doesn’t crawl for some other reason often doesn’t get a chance to explore, to experience those sensations or train up that skill. And a kid that has a different threshold for stimulation, who naturally seeks out more or less or a different sort, is often stopped from stimming in ways which would provide their body information they could process.
As an adult, you get the chance to look at what you want to do and how your body can do it again.
So…
I want you to go throw a ball at a wall. Try to catch it. If you do any exercises already, sit-ups or pushups, do some of those. Run around the block, jump around on your bed. Stretch or just swing your arms and legs around. Find some small objects to use as weights and lift them, with either arm and then either leg (or set them on the floor and see if you can push them).
Work your way up your body one limb at a time, first thinking just about that limb on its own and then comparing the two sides after you’ve done them both. Don’t put a value judgement on anything yet, just pay attention: if your feet feel okay after running around, if you had more strength in one spot than you expected, if you had fun jumping, if there was a time you thought you might wobble but were able to correct, count that too! Think about each activity you did, the sensations around it, and whether that stim was satisfying, overstimulating, or not stimulating enough.
I want you to be able to go to a learn-to-play program, ask to talk with the coach at an appropriate time during the application or orientation, and say things like, “I have this condition. This is what it means: I have less strength with one arm, but I can move it as fast as the other, and with the same range of motion. I don’t grip items as well with one hand, or I tend to grip very hard. I don’t feel this type of sensation in this area, but I do feel that”.
Your coach is then going to recommend exercises to build strength in particular areas, or modifications to exercises so that you can do them without needing to use a particular area; they might have you try different equipment (find a tape job or adapted hand position that helps you keep hold of your stick, etc), and they may also encourage your towards and start training you for a particular position where you could do the most. When it comes to sensation, they’ll know to watch you closer for injuries in that spot that you might not notice.
This came in while I was applying to go back to university, and I bribed myself through the short essay section by pausing every hour to eat chocolate and sketch out what I would have you do for hypothetical positions and exercise plans. That’s still a long way off, but I’m very invested, so a couple things I want you to think about as you work towards the goal:
Keep sled hockey in mind. It’s not always a fit for people whose disability involves their arms, but it’s a cool community and most rinks will offer clinics where you can try out a sled and get a sense of the game.
How do you feel about getting hit with a puck? From your description, stickhandling and shooting may not be super fun for you. They may be, but if you give them a fair try and start to fee discouraged, try picturing yourself as a defender focussing on positioning or shot-blocking, or a goalie. Some people never ever want to do it, which is fair, but if you’re at all interested I’d love to see you try some time in goal! Everyone’s different but some folks the weight of the pads and the focused role can be really good stimulation. If your handling or footwork doesn’t feel great, goaltending would let you focus on moving your body more naturalistically as a whole to position in front of shots. And everyone else will love you for volunteering!
Write back and tell us how it goes!
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butter-egg-toast · 5 years ago
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Together forever.
Ikuya x reader
Another story I wrote her up at I just wanted my Tumblr followers to see cuz I love you all so much 😘🤗
You and Ikuya were having a little engagement party at your shared apartment with family and Friends.
Time passes by and the party soon ended.
"Thanks for coming" waving your parents off as you shut the door behind you. You signed in relief. Tired, even though you love your relatives they can be very hard to handly.
Ikuya comes from behind you giving you a hug. It took you for a surprise but your were happy to feel his warmth.
"You look so elegant in this dress (y/n)" he kisses your cheek.
You let out a small giggled
"Don't you remember... You're the one who pick this out for me" you smile
"Ohh? I did?" He moves his head near your neck.
"...By the way, I love this perfume you have on!" he nuzzled his face on your neck slightly sniffing it.
"Well.. I'm glad you like it." You turned around wrapping your arms around his neck. For a good minute, you and Ikuya stood there in each other arms. Gazing in each other eyes.
"Did you spray your perfume at the back of your ears too? The scent is strong here." he moves his head towards your ears.
You blushed.  " yeah..." You said.
Ever since you and Ikuya started  dating he always teased your ears by kissing, licking and whispering in them. He knew this drove you crazy and you both loved it.
"you're just so beautiful.." he kisses your lips.
"Oh?! I almost forgot I wrapped up some pistachio cake for you in the  refrigerator, for some strange reason my (sister or brother) kept on eating it.." you said.
Ikuya smiles at you
"I'm happy  you were thinking of me." He kisses you some more.
"I have been thinking about you all day today...How long it's been since we had time together" you said
"..yeah...a while... I know I've  been busy. I didn’t really get to spend much time with you. I’m sorry.” he apologized
“No need to apologize, I know it's  been tough on you since the companionship are coming up, so don't think too much about. I want you to win." You smiled warmly at him.
"I’ve been really looking forward to today... and in the Future I'm looking  forward to being a wonderful husband to you" he said
"And I looking forward to being a wonderful wife" you said
"Hey......can we do it?" he ask
You blushed. "I would love to."
Ikuya smirks
“Hey, where do you want to be kissed?… "Is it your neck?"
"Or your ears?"
"Or…here?"
He rubs your breast through your dress.
"Even though you are clothed I can still feel how soft your breast are".  Ikuya kisses your neck.
"Hmm... I love you." Moving his lips to yours.
You both kiss passionately while you ran your fingers through Ikuya's hair
"I can feel your heartbeat. It’s beating really fast. Are you nervous?" He said with a concern tone.
"Or, are you excited?" He teases you.
Your whole entire face turn red, this was unexpected of Ikuya, so your reaction to his question made you slightly embarrassed. You knew your body and Ikuya most definitely knew your body as well.
"Whoa, that reaction was so cute," he's taken aback.
He pushed your back against the door.
"This perfume is really turning me on…" he places his head on your shoulder.
"Haha I can see.." you smirked.
He creeps his hands behind your back and slowly unzips your dress, pulling it down only exposing your bare chests (your dress had one of those built in bras in it).
"So perfect," he stares a your breasts.
"Ikuya" you feel slightly embarrassed.
"Sorry (y/n) they're just so beautiful" he lowers his head down to kiss your sensitive nubs.
"Ahhh" a soft moan escape your lips.
He teases you more by sucking and biting them.
"..I..Ikuya♡" You covering your mouth.
He stop for a brief moment to look at you.
"Don’t worry about your voice, be as loud as you want." He kisses you again. At that moment you could feel Ikuya's cock pressed up against your thigh. You started to slowly rub your hand against his crotch. You both were really turned on but you still felt a little nervous.
"Are you feeling concerned because we’re at the door?…" he asked
"....a little... " you shook your head.
"Do you want me to stop?" He ask. Ikuya didn't want to force you to have sex here if you didn't feel comfortable. But you didn't want to stop, if anything you wanted him to make love to you already. You were just a little anxious since you guys never had a sex near a door before.
"...no..not really... I really want you right now" you cuff your hands on his cheeks.
He Giggles. "I love how honest you are, I will continue to please you" he kisses your jawbone, moving his hands up your thigh. He makes his way to your panties and starts to rub through the material.
"Mmhh" you moan
"Wow, your completely soak already." he pushed the material to side and starts to rub between your folds.
Stimulating your clit.
"Spread your legs a wider." He said.
Ikuya inserted a finger inside.
"Its so hot, you liked that?" He Whispers in your ear
"..y..y..es" You said as you stumble with your words.
"I’m adding one more finger." He inserted another finger inside you.
"Ahhh♡" you moans.
Ikuya slow pumping his fingers inside you massaging your inner walls, but then he suddenly stop.
"(Y/n) I don't think I can hold it in any longer." he unzips his pants pulling them down to his knees, pulling out his manhood.
"Wrap your legs around me". He lifts you up putting his hands on your butt for support. Without hesitation Ikuya slowly inserted himself inside you. Sending chills down your spine
"Ahhh♡..It’s hotter than usual." He moans.
"Oooh Ikuya♡" you wrapped your arms around him
"I'm going to be a little rough today, is that okay?" he asks
"I don't mind " you burried your head on the crook of his neck.
Ikuya gives you a quick kiss on the cheek. He roughly thrusts his hips against yours. Letting him easily slip inside you, causing you to bump your head against the door.
"Aahh" he groans
You could feel your juices flow out with each of his Thrust.
"More" you pleated with him
Ikuya wasn't really the type to have rough sex with you. He was always a gentle and a slow pace lover but today was different. Today he wanted to fuck you till your legs were weak, till you tremble and beg for more.
"Ah, your so amazing (y/n)" he said as he kisses you. Penetrating you deeper. You calling out calling Ikuya's name in bliss. Both you and Ikuya's voices Echo throughout the corridor and the slippery wet sound effects of your pussy as he pumps in you.
"..T..Thats it....I'm.." you tighten your grip around him feeling yourself getting close. This was intense  pleasure for the both of you. His powerful movement hitting your favorite spot.
" ♡(y/n)♡ I'm so close" fasten his pace.
"I..I..Love ..you ..s..s...so..much Ikuya" you said with a shaky breathe.
"...mmm...Ahhh♡" you came hard, leaving your whole body inside and out shaking. Soon after Ikuya followed after you.
"Ahhh♡" he moans in your ear, as he came inside you, leaving the both of you exhausted.
Ikuya out of breathe."....Haha I can feel You're insides twitching (y/n)" he let's go of you. As your feet hit the ground your legs start to give in.
"Whoa, have your legs gotten week?" He puts your arm over his shoulder.
“Can you walk to the bed?” he asks
You blush a little. "Don't worry about I'm ok"
"."
"Are you sure? Maybe we overdid it?" he's worried about your well being.
"No it was absolutely perfect" you kisses him on the cheek
"Thank you♡" he said
*A few months passed*
You were anxious to tell Ikuya the good news but still unsure of it.
Ikuya and you were at home watching  (favorite movie) and cuddling on the couch
"It feels so calm Holding you like this." You said as you embrace him. Trying to wash away your worries.
"It means we feel safe and trust each other." He said
"Holding you in my arms soothes me; All my fears and worries disappear when I’m with you." He hugs you
You didn't really react to him, this was unusual, on some occasions you'll get a little embarrassed when Ikuya touch you in the slightest.
"What's wrong (y/n), you look distress." He asks you.
You signed, you couldn't hold it any longer you had to tell Ikuya now or never. You turned yourself around and took a deep breathe. Ikuya for some strange reason got nervous as well.
"Ikuya.... Im... pregnant..." you hesitated with your sentence.
At that very moment Ikuya went through different types of reactions. Ranging from shock to nervous to happy. His silence was killing you and, you wanted to know how he felt.
"Ikuya.." your eyes started to tear up.
He suddenly grabs you and embrace you for a hug.
"Ikuya?" Confused even more.
"I’m looking forward to our baby (y/n) ." He blushed
At the moment the flood gates open with tears of happiness from you.
"Hey, from now on, please be by my side forever". You said between tears.
Ikuya laughs.
"We still have a long way to go, but I would never leave your side, I want to come home to you with our child" he kisses you
“I love you.” you said
*Four years later*
You and Ikuya finally got married, moved back to Iwatobi and had your daughter.
Ikuya and (Daughters name) just came back from the swim club. (D/N) was an exact copy of Ikuya, same hair, same eyes, same everything, but except her personality was more like Natsuya's.
They both entered the house to find you standing at the kitchen counter drinking some tea and reading a book.
"Mama" your little girl kicks her shoes near the door running towards you.
"Today I learned about the breaststroke." her mimicking the swimming style with her tidy arms.
"Amazing, your going to be a pro swimmer just like your daddy" you said
"Yeah" Ikuya Ruffles her hair
"Sweetie get ready for bed you got school tomorrow" you said.
She pouts a little and runs upstairs.
Ikuya comes from behind and gives you a hug.
"You want to tell her tonight?" Ikuya questions you
"Yeah, I want to tell she'll be getting a a little sister soon" you snicker as you rub your belly.
Ikuya smiles at you
"Yeah I can't wait" he kisses you.
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