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the stoic teenager to being on the verge of tears anytime something slightly inconvenient happens adult pipeline is very real

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oh.....

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I hate him.

I hate him.

I HATE HIM.

What do you mean you spent it on ammo? What do you mean you left your kids, barely teenagers at the time, to look for their own food at some crappy motel room? What do you mean you left Dean at a boys' home as punishment after he got caught stealing bread because he and Sam were hungry?

I hate him.

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BABYBOY :( also the implication of "i have the days with sammy while dean is learning..." like, so dean has the nights? is what you're saying. baby second grader dean (age 7) has the nights with sammy while john goes out and hunts. john's gotta stay home with sam because his babysitter's off at school. dean refuses to leave for school until john swears he'll take good care of sammy. he's telling their father this, as if it's dean's job to make sure sam is taken care of in his absence. he is 7.

then this passage a year later:

eight years old and "willing to die" to keep sam safe because he's had it "drilled into [him] that sammy is his responsibility." as john literally says, he's eight years old. EIGHT!

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John dehumanizes Sam and Dean in different ways, but both in the way a solider would to keep a “level” head in a situation, which I think makes a lot of sense, as John was a marine.

Initially, he seems to view Sam as someone might view the “good side” in combat, something that needs to be defended even if it means laying down your life, but there’s no actual emotional connection, a soldier who loves this country doesn’t necessarily love the people. Later on after the demon blood incident it’s like a switch is flipped for John, and all the sudden he sees Sam almost as a traitor who needs to be taken out. It kind of makes me think of in zombie media when a character is turned and another one kills them without hesitation because it doesn’t matter if they used to be their loved one, they have to kill them for the greater good.

With Dean, he treats him kind of like a subordinate or fellow officer. He cares about him, but in the throes of what he sees as battle, if his comrade is taken out, he can’t always stop to save them, he would have to do what’s best for the greater good in the situation. He would feel sad if Dean died, but he would justify it by saying that, that’s the way war is, and that Dean was a martyr (as if Dean chose to be in John’s Sudo army). I think this is also why John is so aggressively hard on him because he doesn’t see him as his son, he sees him as a soldier who needs to be harped on.

This is also reflected in the canon because there are several times where a character will assume that Dean was in the military, and he will answer along the lines of that he did serve, but he’ll be vague. To be perfectly honest, Dean did essentially serve when it comes to the emotional toll, but he was never in an actual military position. 

“Even extreme grief may ultimately vent itself in violence--but more generally takes the form of apathy.” -Joseph Conrad (Heart of Darkness, 1899.)

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I think that the Supernatural fandom doesn't give Dean Winchester enough credit or hold John Winchester accountable nearly enough. I would argue that John's abuse (mental, emotional and physical) and its constant effect in both boys lives is constantly downplayed by a majority of the fanbase.

The parentification of an elder sibling has been proven to cause lasting issues and we see this throughout the show; when Dean is overly protective of Sam, treats Sam's life as more valuable than his own, can't picture a life where he's not needed, and his dismissal of Sam as a valuable contributor in an equal partnership. Dean is often criticized both in canon and by fans for being overbearing and codependent on Sam. This is a direct result of John Winchester's inability to parent.

Dean's emotional repression is shown to be caused by his father's militant behaviors and approach to parenting. Dean doesn't see his feelings as valid or important and thus turns to repression or unhealthy coping mechanisms as illustrated throughout the show. His alcoholism, violent outbursts, and unhealthy relationship with sex are all coping mechanisms he uses not to feel.

Through flashbacks (and some dialog) the viewer is show that Sam is more resentful towards John than Dean, and that he even holds resentment towards Dean for being the "perfect little soldier".

That's part of the reason Castiel is such a great foil for Dean, both are loyal to absent fathers' but while Dean was born with free will he follows his father's orders unwaveringly until sometime after his death, Cass a being created without free will breaks free of the command of his father and from his father's mission, becoming for all intents and purposes a Prodigal son like Sam.

Dean's adherence to his father's word is, much like Sam's rebellion a response to continued and repeated abuse, neither brother is perfect. And their father was the furthest thing from it.

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Oh you tiny idiot… got a girlfriend that year. Mistake please never allow me to manifest

Okay but if don’t get a girlfriend by the end of the school year was it even worth it?

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Chapters: 1/2 Fandom: Merlin (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen & Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin) Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin) Additional Tags: BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Powerful Merlin (Merlin), Confident Merlin (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Sparring, Swordfighting, Training, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Top Merlin (Merlin), Bottom Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Not Canon Compliant Summary:

There might have been a version of him, confronted with this sight, who would crumble and beg for forgiveness, but that Merlin seems so far away now.

At his very core, he supposes he’ll never change; he’ll be the same man who acts without thinking for his own safety, the same man who leaps into fire and lets it engulf him, lets it leave marks, and most importantly, he’ll be the same man who bleeds and bruises for Arthur.

Merlin’s proud of that, even when the man he fights for is pointing a sword at him.

A 'Merlin learns how to use a sword' fic with UST, badass Merlin supremacy, and strong platonic friendships.

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Me when my job (installing bumpers) makes me install bumpers: this is rude and unusual punishment

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Me, wondering why I feel like I’m being hunted for sport and will need to run at any moment: ow.

The 600 mg of caffeine that I’ve consumed: could be anything…

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Give your characters top surgery in fantasy settings. “It’s unrealistic-“

There are entire fucking dragons and spells to raise the undead? You want to tell me that in a world with elves and shit that no one would have made top surgery possible?

Like okay coward.

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hey remember it's the, um, the month when we leave comments under ao3 works we read. even a small 'nice fic' can save a writer

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Finally picked up the “pen” again and wrote 12k of absolute nonsense but it was nice. Hopefully I can actually hold my self accountable to flesh this out into a proper story.

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Yeah let’s kill the not dog

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Look I’m no extremeist but maybe don’t make bus drivers keep their windows open in 30 degree weather?