#and i think i would actually lose it if i dont get to play in this role
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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Does anyone else get the thing of like you're already so obsessed with something that you're like it would probably be good if I was less obsessed with this / I need to shut up about this but at the same time you constantly find yourself thinking I have Got to get more obsessed with this. I have Got to get more obsessed
#its the thing of like i really want to spend more time on this but also i feel like i shouldnt spend all my time on it so i try to reel it#in but im not particularly good at doing that anyway so i really am like i should just say fuck it and immerse myself even more however#its hard because the more i do that the harder it is to reign it in when i do actually need to#but theres so much i want to research and learn and also do and spend time on where im like i have Got to dedicate more of my time to this#while at the same time being like this is already taking up so much of my time but also because i worry that it is i end up wasting a lot o#time that i could be spending getting more obsessed with this thing. soooo idk but i dont know if that makes sense#its like how im also really bad at working on music becsuse i know when i sit down i will lose several hours so i avoid it but then i end u#not playing music...but i would be happier if i let myself just lose myself in it but then idk. im bad at like Setting aside time for thing#its always all or nothing which is frustrating!!!!! but its like my worry is i wont be productive in other ways but im not anyways so#it doesnt actually matter... sooooo yeah i have Got to get weirder . i have got to just let myself get weirder asap#i think this is also part of the late diagnosis thing of i spent my Entire life forcibly repressing my interests and cutting myself off fro#them after being told i need to. but actually i can just be weird but its really hard to let yourself do that without shame but it is#unjustified in this instance therefore i should take the opposite action and just keep doing it sooo im gonna do that. bye!#i am gonna go listen to bootlegs for approximately 5 hours
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I CANT I CANTTTTTTT I WILL LITERALLY EXPLODE RJIKNHGKRSBKFUCKNHJHFBNJEA JFHBAEJHBFJHBHBHBHBHBBAZHJDBAJHDBAJKHBDJKNA????A//////!?!!!!!!!!??!!???!?!?!??!! I CANNOT I LITERALLY NOT THE CAN I CANTTTTTT RAUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#⚠️WARNING⚠️TAGS R SUPER FUCKING LONG I NEEEEED TO RAMBLE ABOUT LOVE AND DEEPSPACE I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS#SUGGESTIVE ART? NSFW? LITERAL GODDAMN PORN? LIGHT WORK NO REACTION#POV ROMANTIC OTOME GAME SHIT WITH THE TINIEST HINT OF SPICE??? I CANNOT ITS TOO MCUH I ITS AUGHHH IM JNUHJHFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK#IM LIKE FUCKING PLAYING THIS GAME WITH A HAND COVERING MY EYES WHILE PEEKING ITS TOO MUCH#I AM LOOKING AWAY EVERY SECOND IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FUCKUNGBHGJGHJHGHGBJJH#I HATE HATE HATEEEEE (not rly) IT WHEN THEY GET NEAR U ITS AUGH ITS SO WEIRD I PUT MY PHONE FURTHER AWAY FROM ME OUT OF EMBARASSMENT#SOMETIMES I LOSE MY IMMERSION AND GET SELF AWARE AND THINK TO MYSELF THIS IS SO FUCKING WEIRD... THIS IS WHY I DONT PLAY OTOME GAMES DUDE#like no hate to otome games its just way too much for me i get way too embarassed abt playing them its def a me thing#ok first of all the combat is p ok actually it reminds me of pgr and hi3 altho i like pgr better :] (lee my beloved)#i did burst out laughing when i found out abt it cause i thought it would be like mysme and its just visual novel shit but its really okay#also i did a bit of thinking as to why i dont find the charas super appealing & its cause theyre obv manifactured to b 'the perfect guy'#like you know how pugs were bred to be cute but end up deformed and stuff? yea kinda like that#im not saying theyre deformed but thats the vibes im getting#deformed pug vibes#the jp vas are pulling thru though#ALSO I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF GACHA pleaseee i alr play hsr + gi + /occasionally/ pgr and stopppp i hate the gamba aspect of the games#AND IM NOT JUST SAYING THAT BC I DIDNT GET THE CARD I WANT#.................. OKAY SO MAYBE I DIDNT GET WHAT I WANT THE POINT STILL STANDS#i like them (reluctantly) all so far ? idk no one is rlly my fav yet tbf im still at ch. 2 so..#theyre all cute ig zayne is nice maybe i dunno i like his shoulders......? hes very cold tho cause haha ice powers#i call him elsa in my head#xaiver is also nice? hes cute? hes sleepy n shit#rafayel is kinda goofy? aloof? but in the 'she's so crazzzzzzzzzy! i love her!' way (look it up if u dont know) and im not super into that#hes the one whimpering though so it is what it is#overall i think ill keep playing until i get the card i want ill also prolly play it on my laptop instead cause its super laggy on my phone#idk how ill deal with the combat part tho but thats a problem for future me lolol#okay yea idk if anyone is still reading this but i dont want my irls to know that im playing this game so here we r#idk why im using the tags to ramble its way more fun like its more casual i think#OKAY YEA BYE#frambling...?
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theyre never gonna make a new tomodachi life but also. um. they should announce a new tomodachi life tomorrow
#unpopular opinion(?) though i dont think a tomodachi switch game should have miitopia's editor...#dont get me wrong the artistry of miitopia's community was and still is Nuts. the stuff people made is really cool.#but i think a slice of life game like tomodachi life would lose something if none of the miis were recognizable as miis anymore#i like miis the way they are#bri talks#maybe a few new face and hair options owuld be cool but yknow. maybe just still more in line with normal everyday people types of hair#and the updated colors options from the switch's. sad little mii editor for icons#anyway i dont usually go into directs with a lot of expectations. i dont play very many games so im not always interested in a lot of them#but side order news would be quite nice. itd be cool if they announced a puyo game for next year#because. theres no way theres no 2024 puyo title right. like. they love 24.#they love 24 so much they celebrate february 4th as puyo's birthday instead of puyo's actual birthday which is in october.
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Sorry this is the same anon from before LOL i wanted to clarify something!! When i said incentivize tanking i meant it encourages players to show up to smaller tournaments that they don’t actually intend to put full effort into. Because like you said, the majority of 500s are right around slams/masters! So why would an Iga or Aryna want to go all out in those tournaments knowing that if they’re tired or hurt for the big ones they’re leaving points on the table. It’s just hard on the players all around
Sure, but I mean now we're just back to the scheduling issue which the one thing I think everyone can all agree on (season too long! why 6 mandatory 500s??). But still, I don't necessarily think there's clear incentive to tank 500s for the sake of satisfying the mandatory 6. I just don't think there's any motivation to tank tournaments that are going to count towards your point total anyway, and even if there is, then that's the player's loss (that is, if you're taking the effort to show up, you might as well play). From what we can see, it seems more common for players to just skip 500s entirely if they don't want to play, and accept mandatory zeros.
Of the current top 10 players, only Emma, Dasha, and Bia have actually played 6 or more 500s. I'm pretty sure more of them reached 6 through other means (e.g. Qinwen is allowed to count Ningbo because she did promotional events there, Jess and Elena both have multiple extended periods of inactivity due to injury which might add to their tally). But my point is, I don't think the WTA making it mandatory to play 6 500s even makes much of a difference, because clearly the players are willing to drop points and take mandatory zeros for the sake of scheduling. Which again, circles back to the rather annoying conclusion of "well...those are the rules I guess" when it comes to Iga losing #1.
But the truth is I really don't think any of these players want to tank. Even just going to a 500 event and losing in R1 expends a lot of time and energy. Plus, a lot of these players get first round byes, so they're usually having to stay until mid-week anyway. At that point, I think most of them would rather just skip, take the zero, and prepare for the next tournament. And even if they do go to 500s and tank...then I think that's kind of their problem? Because ultimately they're the one losing out on points. So it could be a strategy employed by some, but it really seems that most of these players prefer skipping to tanking.
#idk. like of course it's hard to evaluate what the general opinion is since i am not a professional athlete#but i also think there's just no strong incentive to tank 500s#i think there IS strong incentive to skip them! which is why you see tournaments like guadalajara and seoul had so many withdrawals#because the players want a break after grand slams so those are the tournaments sacrificed#i just think when you factor in tournament preparation and travel etc etc etc that tanking isn't actually worth it#especially considering the fact that as i mentioend before the 500 draws are getting weaker as more tournaments get added#so if you're showing up as a top seed and might not even play someone ranked in the top 20 until the final...#it just seems kind of like a missed oppourtunity if you tank#but also i do remember some people accused elena of tanking in adelaide so that she could have more time off for AO and look how that went#i think if a player is fatigued enough to consider tanking they would rather just withdraw entirely#but i also think it makes a difference depending on the player because it's easier to play 500s if you're losing earlier in big events#if you lost round 1 of uso then going to guadalajara is a lot easier than if you made the final#idk. i have more thoughts about this because i think it really connects to the entire calendar as well as the more specific scheduling bits#but i dont want to put all of that in the tags#sorry for talking so much
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everyone pray for me that i did not just give myself food poisoning (;・∀・)
#i may have made a bad decision with the meat i cooked shdjdkl BUT I THINK IT'LL BE FINE#it was past the date on the packaging but it didnt smell or look or feel off at all so . i decided to risk it#and now im panicking bc i think perhaps that was actually rly stupid fhdkdl#but it was. so much money. i had no idea the date was so soon on the package when i got it from mum#I would've frozen it if I'd known dhdksl i should've looked#alas !!! i think it'll be fine tbh bc it genuinely did not seem spoiled at all so ... now we just pray#i had a fairly small serving of it and I'll see how i feel to figure out if the rest of it is safe to eat or not#im just fhdjdkl crying a little rn bc the past two days have been so awful and im so tired#i rly dont want to get sick on top of everything else going on#i would like one thing to go well fjdkdl just like. one thing. this feels like divine punishment for having the old lady group go so well#im just kind of losing my mind rn i think actually fhfkdl i have a therapy/counseling appt on monday though so we'll see if that helps#i do not have high hopes fjfkdl#MANNNN. can the universe give me a break PLEASE. I've been trying so hard the past three weeks to do well 😭😭#im putting in so much work and effort fhdksl can i PLEASE have this one thing go okay djdksl i do not want to get sick !!!#if i do get sick then im just. hhhhh. idk djdkdl it's just one more thing to add to my pile of Bad ig djdkdl what can ya do djdkdl#i am going to pull myself together and stop crying and go play stardew maybe idk fjdkdl i feel like im starting to crack a little bit#augh. augh. i would love to catch a break djdkdl#dandy.cmd#vent //
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Im just thinking about that American psycho musical and how much it affected me as a person and changed who i was
Also that face he makes in the movie - i always do it like the ‘ooh’ face (it also feels like a very Canadian Jim Carrey face to make too idk it might just be my connection to it)
#feral-teeth thoughts#american psycho#i watched a bootleg of it online#and holy shit#holy fucking shit#it was so fucking good actually#it inspired me to like#get back into theatre#also currently reading the lines to audition for something called whale riding weather#and it has genuinely changed my life#like#it has reached into my soul and tore out apart of me#and my queerness#and like my butchness but also the masculine parts of being a gay man that i connect to so deeply#but didnt know i was allowed to connect with#being born female#but being so fucking nonbinary#and one part one character kissing his belly#the character i was reading as#and in my mind it like#healed the parts of myself that hated myself#and my size and my belly#i really am craving to be in this role with my whole life and body#and i think i would actually lose it if i dont get to play in this role#so please#pray for me and send good vibes for me to get this role#or maybe that night was enough#me reading the play and acting it out in my head in the dark of my bedroom#playing pretend in the black box theatre in my mind#im scared that my autism and my awkwardness is going to keep me from performing at my best
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#wanna get back into toh but the bits and pieces of stuff ive seen on tumblr and ig is. rancid#the show will always be good and dear to my heart despite its flaws#but the fandom?#theyve sandpapered down luz and the lumity ship in general and removed anything that made them interesting#instead of focusing on any of the relationships between characters that they spent all show building up#instead theyre just spamming the tags with mindless h/u/n/t/l/o/w fluff#bc compulsory heterosexuality i guess#im sure there are still a lot of ppl who make great art and fics for toh#and im sure a lot of ppl are still having interesting discussions about parts of the show that i would want to talk about#however i go into the tags and am immediately assaulted with hunter and willow playing out hallmark movie scenes#and i immediately lose interest#tbh the crew played into this shit towards the end too and it felt super cringe#not just the huntlow stuff but also sanding away any of the bite with lumity or even the clawthorne sisters#and not doing anything with willow and gus except for one scene shoved in last minute#they were more interested in catering to fandom stuff than telling the actual story even if it turned out pretty alright in the end#this is just a problem with rly big fandoms mostly#this is what happened to star vs the forces of evil i think#dont quote me on that i stopped watching in season 3#anyway owl house good fandom bad#how dare fandom not cater to me specifically#i want to participate in fandom but i dont want to do the main activity of fandom#which is to sift through piles of garbage to find stuff that i actually like#shut up pandora
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sometimes you just have to take a seat and touch grass with your most beloveds
#while crying in public and noticing that theyre tearing up with you#the grass is damp but it doesnt matter bc the pastries are soft and sweet and it all feels safe if only for a bit#and then you get joke married outside a closed museum after buying stickers and pins while a loud band plays songs you dont know#i like to believe that friendship is some type of home and I really do hope i don't lose anyone else#im trying so please i hope i dont make people push me away anymore#anyway#on the funny side. the amount of people asking if im actually married. uncanny unparalleled unexpected#didnt think it would be relevant yet i started getting dms from people who havent spoken to me in years asking abt it#im not but thanks for confirming that everyone loves/cant resist a bit of gossip. including myself
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trying to figure out the best way to intricately mold a graces roleswap au just for me
#.text#my go to currently is asbel -> sophie -> richard#so that asbel is protos heis. sophie is the princess. and richard is from lhant.#because i think the idea of a 13yo asbel being the Famed Weapon of Fodra Fame is really. really funny.#and also because i like the parallels between richard and sophie. so sophie is the antagonist now.#sorry i only swap the protagonists its all in good fun and character dynamics i dont get to see because of Circumstances#but also because the side characters in this game revolve around who and what they are so intricately that i think trying to#swap them around would actually just end up losing their character.#like i think you COULD swap malik with say pascal but you cant swap pascal with anyone and have the same character#since her involvement with the plot is Because of her character#i could attempt to switch hubert with pascal as the local genius for example but what would then become of pascal#because ultimately the only reason hubert ended up with the party is because he was ordered to. and realized he wanted to stay.#and he is a logical person who does not consider his feelings much save for his pride and trust. so if you took away him being ordered#around. i do not see him staying.#though i could switch hubert with cheria. because i think even if asbel wasn't the Older brother i think they would still be Brothers#so he would become the healer and stay out of what he feels is obligation to asbel.#but then my original intent was to switch cheria and hubert so then itd look like im just playing favorites....#WHICH I AM. so who cares actually. cheria the childhood friend who was forced to move away as a child#but then pascal is NOT an easy person to swap with which is the problem !!#if i swapped her and malik those two would end up in the same position but with like slightly different entrances#whatever. WHATEVER. ill think about it later#graces
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What do you think Jo is ugly and it pissed off people?
no my friend nono you got it all wrong. no its the opposite.
#snap chats#WE ONLY SAY RESPECTFUL THINGS IN THIS HOUSE I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT BOUT ANY CHARA#esp not one mo-capped off an actual guy 😭 a very lovely and funny and phenomenal actor of a guy 😭#get out of my tags everyone im explaining myself#IMA JUST LEAVE WITH those who remember my baddie baddies tier list know. they know the answer#😔#stop im telling the story about my friend playing y7 for the first time again since this is related#i JUST told the story X days ago but its relevant to this topic#because its still funny as hell we got to chapter two and during the car ride to me getting us lunch we were like#Seriously talking about the game and she was theorizing what would happen next and just talking about how she loved ichiban#after all that like. we just sat in silence for like a minute or two#i cant remember if she brought him up first but im 99% sure i was like 'so whatd you think of jo' or something#and she was just Snap. 👀#and then we spent the rest of the ride talking about him fjLKJELKAJ FUNNIEST THING EVER#no cause when i was doing my first playthrough of y7 and /i/ saw jo the first time i Also was just 👁️👁️#idk what it was bro was just doin accountant shit aAEJLKA😭☠️☠️☠️#and still i was like 😔hii 🥰😔 the rarest instance of me. in a sense. falling for a chara frame one ☠️☠️ very embarrassing ☠️#and then the rest of the game unfolded and now we're here SO NO anon i DIDNT find him unattractive#it was terminal literal frame one and the sniper outside is to make sure i dont say anything INSANE and lose the respect of everyone#whatever respect exists. there's like. a drop of it left and i will cling onto it for my life
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i love my simic mtg deck so much
#personal#mtg#tatyovaaaa my beloved#im adding more chaotic cards to the deck like. hehehehehohohoo#i dont like playing counters very much because you have to remember to use them at the right time AND have enough mana available#not very adhd-friendly. not fun for me#so i replaced one with String of Disappearances#my friends dont play blue much so mostly it's a good cheap instant for removing things#BUT if theyre playing blue or have 'add mana of any colour' it has the potential for a lot of silly bullshit#i love silly bullshit#last time i played Minds Aglow as a hail mary when i was about to lose & my friend put a billion mana into it and we all ended up#drawing like 20 cards#i had to discard most of them but i set up a 2 counters for 4 mana situation with uh. i forget the cards#rewind i think? and frilled mystic#i still lost but it was fun#i also put Eaten by Piranhas in because it's funny#it turns them into a skeleton...#Combine Chrysalis and Rampaging Baloths are both in there too and. god i hope i get to play both of those at once that would be so funny#flying baloths!!#i forget what else i was gonna say. i love this deck tho it makes me feel like a mad scientist cartoon villain#oh right. i dont think im all that good at mtg yet lol#not aggressive enough in combat im always like. my creatures... i dont want to lose them... what if i need them...#have had multiple times where afterwards my friend was like. wait why didnt you play that card?? you could have won with that card#but im good at setting up combos. and i really like the landfall mechanic in this deck#oh i also have clone legion. which goes very well with combine chrysalis#behold my ARMY OF FLYING CLONES#anyway. yeah. just rambling#i made a second deck thats red/black instead of blue/green but i think maybe it sucks#not sure yet. havent had a chance to actually play it
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Thinking about how i've been playing harry in regards to his interactiosn with kim and The Implications of it
#like i was watching this therapist play it and he was talking about how he thinks harry views kim and how that affects the way he treats him#and that got me thinking about how i have harry treat kim and the implications of it#because i have harry latch onto kim from the get-go partially because inland(?) says kim would die for you from the moment you met him#and also.... also because kim Cant Leave hes stuck with harry for the duration of the case#no matter how i push him or how much i lean on him he Cant Leave Me Yet hes stuck with me if he likes it or not#its not healthy but its Stable and harry has zero stability at the moment#and the game even lets you become kinda codependant with kim like when youre talking to jean (your Actual Partner)#you can say that you dont even wanna think about having a partner other than kim#when youre reading that dick mullen book it tells you through your internal dialogue not to lose kim that youll never find another like him#and one of the purple skills (i dont remember which) tells you its true in more ways than you know#but like if you express this sentiment aloud in front of kim he directly contradicts it tells you this is temporary#but if you go down this path harry sort of internalizes that kim will be there for him#because he Has To Be because he doesnt remember before kim was there for him#its so easy to forget that kims there because he has to be#frame his attempts at undermining you as friendly jabs because youre running into this far too quickly#imagine a repoir that hasnt really been built yet because youre Alone In This World and kim Has To Follow You#all you remember is longing and pain try and use kim to fill the hole#force him into situations where he has to comfort you lest the whole case be compromise by your instability#(im not saying kim Doesnt Care about harry just kinda thinking about possible implications of how i play harry)#🪩🔍
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Required to file for unemployment in order to stay insured. Have to file within a specific 7 day period that starts today. Only 1 day off within that time frame (today) and it’s a sunday. Can’t access the application bc of my usual identity verification issues and can’t get help accessing it bc the office is closed. Don’t even know if I have to actually Qualify for unemployment in order to have insurance or just prove that I filed, don’t know what happens if I get a new job or what time frame it would have to be in etc. Can’t ask those questions either bc again it is sunday. Tried asking when I learned I’d be losing my job but was told I have to wait until my job officially closed (2 days ago). So what’s the point of being told in advance if u don’t get to do anything abt it until u have to scramble during a short time frame anyway. The irony of not having time to deal w this bc I do in fact have another job, for one more week. Just beyond the time frame in which I’d be able to file. Killing killing killing
#i hate america and i hate being disabled#all week I’ve been anxious abt filing today (it would Have to be today specifically)#was anticipating spending all day on it but ofc I’m just not even allowed to try#that certainly impacts the rest of my day. i have a lot of other smaller tasks i have to do#but wanted this out of the way first so I wouldn’t be like filled w fear as i do those tasks#now i have more time to do those tasks. but like. do it sad#im tired of trying to apply for things that are clearly not open to me dude its such a waste of time#all it does is make me feel more hopeless and angry#i dont even care abt unemployment benefits. I wouldnt have bothered just for the sake of it bc I know theres no way in hell id get them#but I literally am required to. I have to play this stupid game of pretending I’m eligible for smth I’m not. bc I need insurance#loses my insurance bc I lost one of my 3 jobs. none of which offer insurance#hell world hell world I hate everybody#also the third job I mentioned is that I’m still mascot at my school#the hours are so sporadic it doesn’t feel like being employed but I technically am. idk if that would count but I don’t get to ask#my unpaid job starts soon and I’m thinking abt having 3 jobs Again. not even just for money but for insurance#during full time grad school. I feel like I’m going to actually have a heart attack or smth this year#mine#txt#personal#vent post
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[image description: a shoulders-up view of a deep gnome player character from baldur's gate 3. his skin is a bright light purple, with tightly coiled short silver hair, and a short beard. silver ring piercings decorate his pointed ears. his left eye is completely black, with dark grey wavy line tattoos emanating from it towards his left ear. his right eye is a prosthetic, with a blue and yellow iris and white sclera. there is a vertical scar through his right eye socket. end description]
haha guess who got his eye stabbed out right after hooking up with astarion :)
#letting astarion drink his blood right before they fucked and then waking up and noticing volo had 'researched' his 'removal techniques'#and thinking oh holy shit this timing is too funny#makes sense for caprice as a durge to be chill with pointlessly losing an eye#i thought it would look like wylls eye so im a bit disappointed about the sclera actually.#but part of caprices lore is the black eyeball isnt his either. bhaal demanded it as part of following the bhaalspawn path.#so he has an eye from bhaal and an eye from volo now.#newt needs a text post tag#newt plays bg3#the series of dialogue confirmations that you have to do to get volo to stab the eye out. psychic torture.#i had to look away and they dont rly show anything it was just. the narrator made it SOOOO clear that it was stupid and agonizing and slow#bg3
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