#and i think i might kill myself if it ever comes to pass.
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fiovske · 2 years ago
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my mother warning me out of the blue today to not get married before 30 like... pipe down mother. u don't even know I'm GAY.
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cherryrikis · 2 months ago
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EVERYTHING BUT NOTHING
PAIRING football captain bf jake x fem reader
WARNINGS swearing, arguments, jake makes a singular joke about killing himself
GENRE angst
SYNOPSIS jake is just the nicest guy, everyone knows that. and he’s even sweeter as a boyfriend rather than an acquaintance. even after an argument, you could never stay mad at him for long. but you question that when you hear him talking about you after school.
read part 2 here ?
“are you gonna talk to jake? i know that argument was pretty intense, but you’ve gone a week with no contact.” yuna asked as she tilted her head, standing by your locker while she waited for you to grab your belongings.
“eventually, yeah. i was thinking today after school. the thing with jake though, he either shuts down, or acts like it never happened whenever i want to talk about an argument.” you sighed.
it’s true. as open as jake may appear to be, it’s all but factual. you could never have a real talk with your boyfriend, because he hated confrontation. avoided it entirely.
typically, you don’t let arguments get in the way of your relationship. especially since living together is hard if you’re having frequent conflicts. it wasn’t too much of a problem now though, since he’s been staying at jay’s. but when you brought up the fact that he’s been spending too much time at practice, and that he always forgets your dates, jake let it all out.
it shouldn’t have been as big of a problem as it was. you just wanted to talk. but he finally argued back.
“i get it. sohee is exactly the same! don’t stress though. i know jake is a good guy, he’ll come around.” she smiled. “now let’s go to class? passing period is almost over, and yizhuo has been saving our seats.”
the lecture seemed to go by faster than usual. you were nervous as you steadily approached jake’s locker, which was directly outside his last class.
but when you heard his oh too familiar voice, you stopped in your tracks. you felt your heart sink to the floor as your stomach dropped.
“god. guys, don’t ever get a girlfriend. i’m bounded to long walks on the beach and dinner dates till i die. y/n’s demanding too much of me. i might just kill myself one day.” jake sighed.
“okay but dude, your girlfriends cool and all yet she’s lowkey uptight.” you heard heeseung say as he slapped jake’s shoulder.
“yeah man, you’ve been missing too much practice for your dates now. coach is getting upset. i saw yours and y/n’s texts the other day, and she micromanages you a lot. blink twice if you need help.” sunghoon joked as the three of them laughed out loud.
“i know, i know. i love y/n, but i cannot with her lately. thank god jay let me crash at his after the argument, because i couldn’t live with her constant nagging. she’s so fucking annoying.” he snickered. but, all their faces fell once they saw you.
you slammed jake’s locker door shut with so much force, your hand turned bright red. him and sunghoon flinched harshly, while heeseung and jay had no reaction.
your face ran hot, you felt it as you tightly closed your eyes, holding back the urge to burst out crying. the glass tears threatened to roll down your cheeks.
but one look at his desperate eyes filled with regret, and you tipped over the edge. your salty tears spilled out, past your lashes.
you sniffled as you continued to cry uncontrollably, staring at their flustered faces. jake reached out to wipe your face, but you pushed his hand away, wiping the tears yourself.
“you fucking asshole.” you whispered. “i came here to apologize. but you can’t leave it be.”
“y/n..” his eyes softened, voice faltering as his words were laced with regret and shame. he reached out for you once more, but you stepped back.
the distance between you two physically and emotionally only continued to grow. “baby, just let me talk. like you wanted.” he pleaded, begging, almost.
“i.. hate you.. how could you ever talk about me like that? i never once would even think about saying something like that about you, like you did me.” you scoffed, looking behind him as you finally realized his friends left the scene.
you watched as his eyes watered, with one last attempt of trying to reach you. but he knew you were untouchable in this moment.
“sweetheart?” he watched as you began to walk backwards, away from him.
but you didn’t let up, still hurt. you shook your head, silently telling him no.
with every step you took backwards, jake moved forward, before finally grabbing your wrists tightly so you can’t leave him.
“it costs nothing to be a sweet guy, like the version everyone sees of you. but it takes everything to be an asshole.” you mumble, before pushing him away, finally and surely leaving out the school’s glass doors.
and jake remained there, his regret suddenly transferred into anger. he kicked his locker, watching the metal rattle.
he hated how his such childish and immature words cost nothing yet everything.
“fuck..” he muttered.
“fuck!” jake said once more, but louder, yelling it out loud.
he watched out the window as you walked towards the parking lot, before getting into your car and leaving without a second thought.
“please don’t leave me.” he whispered as his vision turned blurry.
“please don’t leave me..”
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louloulemons-posts · 3 months ago
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heyyy. i saw your taking logan fics. do you think you can write a fic of logan and reader but she’s very girly and bimbo like? thank you 🩷
Claws and Frills
wolverine x fem!reader
(x-men wolverine, he’s a big boy)
summary : At first Logan didn’t know how to take you, but now your the first person he finds when he returns to the mansion.
word count : 0.8k
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warnings : not proofread, fluffy, petnames (reader calls logan kitty and the famous bub), readers a necromancer, mentions of violence, blood and killing, readers not really described - only her outfit , hanks a bit of a dick, very very sweet, no established relationship.
~ / / / * \ \ \ ~
At first Logan didn’t know how to take you, you were unlike anyone he’d ever met. Cooing that Charles had adopted a pet ‘Kitty-cat’ when you first met one another.
It had taken him a few months to realise, you weren’t being condescending, you were truly that sweet and slightly ditzy. Saying that you had the gift of necromancy, controlling those who had passed, along with their powers if they were mutant.
Logan strolled outside of the mansion finding you, lay on your stomach reading a book, a soft lilac blanket beneath you.
A pink dress and short white cardigan hug your figure, as your pink converse lay discarded beside you, showing your white frilly socks.
“Hey Bub,” the man called out, walking over to you. With a grin you turned to him, “Kitty, come sit,” Scooting over to make room for his larger figure, the smile never left your lips.
With a soft groan he sat down next to you, laying back, hands behind his head. “How was your mission?” you asked, placing your book to the side to have your full focus on the man beside you.
With a shrug he spoke, “Went well, stopped the guys.”
“Any blood spilled?” You questioned, head cocked. “Less than last time.”
“And you?”
“Me?” Logan pulled his sunglasses down to rest on his nose, so he could meet your eyes with his own dark ones. “Did any of your blood get spilt?”
“Nothing I couldn’t heal from Bub.”
“Logan you promised-“
“Sometimes it can be helped,” he cut you off, “I did everything I could to be safe and come back to you in one piece, and look here I am.”
He motioned to his long body, dressed in a flannel, unsurprising, a pair of jeans a boots. “Well even if they killed you, you couldn’t be rid of me.”
He laughed, “You’re awful.” With a pout, you sat up on your knees, “What? I have to use my freaky-deaky powers at some point!”
“Freaky-deaky? Is that the technical term?” He smirked. With a groan you spoke, “Don’t, you sound like Hank.”
Logan’s face went serious, “What’s he said to you?” He was ready to shred that blue asshole to pieces for making you feel insecure.
“Nothing, he actually apologised. Charles told him he’d upset me. I mean I know I’m not the smartest sometimes,” Logan tried to cut you off, but you didn’t let him.
“But, I’m not stupid, we actually spent a lot of time talking about, neuroscience. Just because I’m not a total badass like Storm or Jean doesn’t mean I’m an awful hero, I just …” You sighed.
“What Bub?” Logan pushed himself up so you sat face to face. “I just don’t want to stop being myself, and my… gift already makes me feel like I have too.
“Maybe I was given the wrong one, would have been better if I could control plants or I don’t know, talk to animals.”
Logan smiled, pulling a cigar out of his pocket, which you snatched away without a second thought. If it was anyone else, his claws would be out, but it was you.
“Your power doesn’t define you, you know that right? You’re you. You’re sweet and kind, and anyone or anything you’ve controlled with your powers has been as respectful as you can make it.”
“But I’ve killed.”
“And you’ve saved.”
“But-“
“Bub, you’re good, and Hank isn’t a people person, he just talks sometimes. Nobody is a special or as badass as you, I promise.”
“Not even you?”
He titled his head, thinking for a moment, “I might be a close second.”
“Third, Erik’s more scary than you … and Jean oh and Scott-“ he put a hand over your mouth.
You couldn’t help but smile against it, causing his lips to twitch upwards. He pulled his palm away, “Thank you Kitty.”
“Never have to thank me, you know that.” Leaning forward you placed a soft kiss on his cheek, wrapping your arms around his neck. “You really are my favourite person, you know that?”
“You’re crazy,” he said making you laugh, arms coming round your waist, “But you’re my favourite too.”
Pulling away you stroked his face gently, “You’re a good man, you know that right?”
“You tell me most days. Now read to me,” he said, falling onto his back, hands going back behind his head.
Crossing your knees, you sat beside Logans figure, his eyes falling closed. One of his hands moving to stroke your leg softly. “What are we reading?”
With a smirk you spoke, “Pride and Prejudice.”
Logan groaned, “Again?!”
“Hush Kitty.”
And hush he did, listening to your soft voice hand never leaving your leg. Remaining on that soft blanket with you, until the sun began to set and the stars rise.
~ / / / * \ \ \ ~
Thank you so much for reading!
i honestly can’t believe i’ve never done a logan fic but deadpool 3 brought back my obsession big time.
I hope you enjoyed.
Please leave any requests 🫶🏻
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therandompagesblog · 7 days ago
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SKZ Mate Chapter 21
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Trigger Warnings: Smut, orgasm, cunnilingus, oral play, reader squirts, threesome, trichophilia, salirophilia
"You are such an annoying shit!" Y/N growled as she smacked the wolf with the towel. "Did you have to call him out?" "Hey. Hey. Stop. Omega." Seungmin growled as he tried to catch the towel that was repeatedly smacking him. "I'm sure you're not the best pleaser anyway. Minho might be better." The wolf growled, baring her teeth at the beta. Seungmin smirked and grabbed the towel, dragging her body towards his so he could grab her legs. The female squealed in shock as he grabbed her and pushed her body against the backdoor, his hands resting underneath her ass. "Shall we find out little puppy?" Seungmin taunted. "If you were so desperate for my attention you could have asked." Y/N mimicked his tone, testing the wolf's patience. Seungmin chuckled at her attitude before kissing her harshly. His teeth smacked against hers as he shoved his tongue into her mouth. Seungmin was relentless as he kissed up her neck, biting every so often he fancied before returning to her lips. Y/N could feel her arousal creeping up on her and she knew Seungmin could smell it. It was almost hard not to feel the way she did. His mouth was hot and wet. His fangs were sharp they made her shiver in delight. "Hold on to me. I'm not taking you to the garden. I'm not that cruel." Seungmin breathed out as he opened the door to take her to the living room. "Are you not?" Y/N challenged and Seungmin gave her a wink before throwing her onto the sofa with a growl.
Seungmin pulled her down with another growl before he leaned to kiss her, yet he didn't. His lips ghosted over hers, making her whine out in frustration, but Seungmin ignored her. Instead, he grabbed the hem of Minho's jogging bottoms and ripped them. Not caring about the item of clothing in front of him. "What? I'm an impatient man." Seungmin answered with a grin. As soon as the bottoms were desgarded he snapped the band of her underwear clean off before quickly spreading her legs, not wasting any time to prove he could definitely please her. To her surprise Seungmin was slow and attentive as he licked through her folds to her clit. The padding of his tongue laid flat against her. His rhythm started off slow as he built her up, carefully he flicked over clit. Occasionally he would suck before he came back down to her opening, teasing her entrance with his tongue. Her soft little breathy moans hardened Seungmins cock but he did not care. He wanted her to cum. He wanted to see her release. Seungmin sped up and paid extra detail to her hardened bud, edging her closer and closer until she came. "I mean. You tried." Y/N breathed out causing the wolf to glare at her, ready to start again when Felix walked passed. Y/N threw the wolf off and wrapped the blanket around her so she could mostly check on the wolf. "Felix. Felix." Y/N called out.
Felix turned around and looked at the sweaty female wolf curiously. He could see the frustrated beta behind him. "Are you okay?" Y/N breathed out. "I am alright. Come here." Felix pulled her hand and took her to the kitchen so she was away from Seungmins glares. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I wanted to talk to you but I didn't know what to say to you. I didn't want to say the wrong thing and I didn't want you to blame yourself. Honestly, I never wanted to kill anyone. I don't like fighting. I mean I don't like it when Chan argues with me so killing someone was hard. I felt sick and it made me hate myself. I hated myself more when I saw your face. Wooyoung was your alpha and you loved him and then I killed him. I didn't even know what to say because despite being angry at you, I never wanted you to ever think it was your fault or feel bad. I am sorry. I will always talk to you about anything baby, but this was hard." Felix's confession made Y/N's head swell. She appreciated his honesty and recognised how valid his feelings were. No one was meant to like killing. It should always be a last resort or an impossible resort. "I wasn't angry at you, ever. It was hard because I watched the person who abused me die. It was weird. I felt felt relief, but sadness, but I never held it against you. Your feelings are valid. No one is supposed to kill. But anyway it's fine. I want us to be fine." Felix appreciated her words. He was grateful for her being so understanding. "Come here, my love," Felix whispered as he pulled her closer, careful of her blanket as he kissed her softly. Felix's mouth was salty. She could taste the sweat on his tongue as she pushed harder, causing Felix to grip the towel. "Did Seungmin not please you," Felix murmured as he pulled her head back to deepen his tongue. "Need Lixie to make it better," Y/N whined. Felix smirked and put Y/N onto the counter, dismissing the blanket that was wrapped around her. "Mmm. Lixie make it better baby." Felix whispered as he planted his forehead against her, his fingers teasing her opening, while his thumb massages her clit. "Felix is sorry baby. Felix loves you so much. Gonna make you cum baby." Felix whispered as he teased her opening before sliding two fingers into her wet hole, causing her to gasp. Felix slowly slid in and out of her causing her to whine, her hips thrusting forward. "Can I taste you, baby? Hmm, let me taste you?" Felix whined, his soft pouty face aroused her. He was teasing her. She knew he had another face but he wasn't showing it. "Baby?" He cooed. "Yes. Yes." Y/N answered and gasped when she felt his mouth on her clit. His rough sucks sent a wave of emotions causing her to cum all over Minho's counter, but Felix didn't stop. Felix brought his head up to watch her as he slowly entered a third. "You gonna cum for me again baby?" Felix teased as he pressed harder into her, causing her to let out a panicked groan as he pulled out slowly only to slam into her harder. "Felix." Y/N gasped as he watched her, flicking his wrist slowly but harsher before thrusting faster into her. The sound of her wet pussy being fucked by Felix's hand sounded dirty. Her slick was seeping out as slid down Felix's hand. "Such a pretty wolf, aren't you." Felix cooed as he nuzzled her face. "Has your Felix been forgiven?" "Yes. Yes." Y/N reached out to pull the wolf towards her, her hands pulling Felix's hair as she kissed him. Felix growled at her actions, it was turning him on.
"Can I have her back now." Seungmin called out, causing Y/N to glare at the wall. "Go on before he gets grumpy. I'll clean up." Felix answered as he kissed her lips, before she headed into the living room to see a dangerous Seungmin who patted his lap. Y/N rolled her eyes and sat on his lap with her arms crossed. "Such a sulky puppy." Seungmin chided. "Such a sulky puppy." Y/N mimicked sticking out her tongue for him to catch, his nails digging into her tongue, causing the female wolf to look dumbfounded. Seungmin smirked and spat on her tongue, his saliva sliding down the side of her mouth. "Does puppy like being spat on?" Seungmin growled, letting go of her tongue before flipping them over, his hands pushing her into the sofa with a glare. Seungmin winked at her, his amber eyes glowed and his fangs appeared, making her nervous at his animalistic presence. Seungmin lowered his head down to her wet glistening pussy that was already leaking her silky slick all over again. Seungmin gave her one flick of his tongue before grazing her sensitive bud with his fangs causing her to grip the sofa. She had never experienced anything so primal in her life. She was scared but so excited at the same time. Seungmin growled and flicked her clit with his fang again causing her to whimper. He had her right where he wanted her. The wolf grazed his mouth harshly over her pussy before he meticulously fucked her with his tongue. His sharp fangs scraped away at her causing her to let out an orgasmic scream. Her panicked scream caused Felix to burst through the door in worry as he heard her. He was unsure if she was enjoying it or petrified at Seungmin's wolf, but seeing her flushed skin and blurry eyes, she seemed fine, until he stopped. She was so close to the edge and he stopped.
Seungmin laughed at her, as he patted her wet pussy. He could see she was annoyed. Her blue eyes glared at him. She was so undeniably desperate. "What is it puppy? Hmm. Do you need to release it? Too bad." Seungmin answered. "You're so mean. Let her come." Felix stated as he walked over to kiss the sweaty female wolf. The female wolf grabbed and pulled him down to her, desperately latching on to his mouth. Felix obliged, kissing her softly as his hands reached under Minho's jumper to play with her hardened breast. "Why don't you order him to make you come," Felix whispered. "He has to listen. Alpha Hyunjin ordered him to." "Seungmin. Don't be so mean. You have to let me come. Please." Y/N whined as she watched the wolf's hardened eyes. "Alright puppy, but only because I have to. Once tomorrow hits I'm gonna punish you." Seungmin warned as he dived into her pussy, his fangs almost piercing her skin. Felix lifted her jumper so he could suck on her breasts. The sensation of both betas hand sent her into an overdrive causing her to pull at their hair. Felix didn't seem to mind and almost orgasmed every time she yanked him but Seungmin seemed to get more pissed off, that every time she did it, he would nip her thighs.
Seungmin and Felix continued to please her all afternoon, sending her into several orgasms, one after the other, each taking it in turns. They expected her to stop so they could cuddle and eat but her drive kept going and going to the point the two betas got worried. They had made her orgasm seven times and she still begged and cried, to the point she wanted them in here. They had her on the sofa, over their laps, at the coffee table even in the kitchen. It would not stop. They were afraid they might have triggered her heat accidentally, which was a good thing, but they needed Chan back. Technically they didn't need him, she could have anyone of the wolves she felt comfortable with but it was mainly the fact that Seungmin was getting tired. The obnoxious male had started to regret antagonising her and his hand was beginning to ache. He even joked about getting a dildo from the shop to help since they were not allowed to fuck her yet but Felix warned it was still a bad idea because she was healing, even though they both had slammed their fingers into her. Still, she was still begging and crying at the beta's for more release and Felix couldn't even get hold of one wolf. Felix tried Chan but his phone was off. He called Hyunjin twenty-four times but it went to answer machine. Seungmin in the end had to send an SOS message to their group chat in hopes one of them would see it: "HELP! I think Y/N's gone into heat! We need backup." Felix even responded with a light-hearted message in case the wolves panicked, "We can do it but I think our little wolf may need an alpha because Seungmin hasn't gotten the alpha stamina." And yet the two beta's had no response. They were left all alone with an incredibly feral female.
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jennifer-jeong · 9 months ago
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Fluff | Genshin x GN!Reader What Made Them Fall For You?
Xiao, Wanderer/Scaramouche, Diluc
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SUMMARY Headcanons on what makes the genshin pookies fall for you <3
CONTENT Fluff, gender neutral reader, men falling for reader, reader is not traveler but is friends with them, mentions of character's trauma, CHARACTERS ARE 18+
AUTHOUR NOTES I hope to eventually write about all the men >:) it will probably take a while to get to it but I’ll try to keep each one short to encourage myself to finish them all hehe.
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XIAO
I think Xiao would start to fall for you because you see through his tough, mean guy act. You can tell that even though his words are harsh and he’s telling you to leave him alone, he’s just protecting you. You might not see it at first, but as you understand his condition, his karmic debt, you understand him. Your realization makes you feel warm knowing that Xiao is really just an innocent soul who wanted to keep you safe. He wants so badly to never hurt anyone ever again and “repent” in solitude even though he has nothing to really repent for; he was forced to kill by his previous master and his karmic debt only comes from killing the remnants of old gods and absorbing their debt.
You start to hang around him more as a result and, much to Xiao’s dismay, he doesn’t hate it. In fact, he actually enjoys how you reignite the warmth in him, the warmth he hasn’t felt in so long since his fellow Yaksha have passed. But did he want to let you in? Shouldn’t he push you away? He’s been alone for so long, why change that now? He felt like he didn’t deserve to enjoy company again, that he didn’t deserve you and your kindness. But maybe just this time… just once, would he allow it.
WANDERER
I think Wanderer would start to fall for you because you make him feel human emotions like he’s never felt before. He’s always searched for a “heart” in the form of a gnosis, thinking it would make him human and make him feel loved and wanted. But even when he had it, it didn’t feel right. Even now, with his anemo vision, he feels more, but still not what he wants. But with you, it feels perfect. Others would probably describe what he feels as something like “butterflies in my stomach” but since he probably doesn’t really experience physical things like that, being a magical puppet and all, he thinks about how you make his vision glow. When he feels a surge of emotions, it feels like he’s using his vision. It feels powerful, happy, strong, and warm, like how a light breeze feels on a sunny afternoon.
You know about his past, what he did, and how the world wronged him. He’s been so traumatized and can barely comprehend his emotions. So when you reach out to him after he regains his memory and a new anemo vision, you try to help him through his emotions in the gentle way that you do. You’re so soft with him and it makes his vision heart ache. He believes he doesn’t deserve you but you try your best to show him otherwise. As you two get closer, you never really notice, but the wind always picks up just a little bit when he sees you.
DILUC
I think Diluc would start to fall for you because you don’t just see him as “the young and rich son of the Ragnvindr family estate.” You see him for him: Diluc. You see a beautiful soul with a broken heart that has put up walls that he intends to never break down again. Others might think that Diluc is just cold, but you and the others close to him know that no matter how cold he may seem, the pure fire that burns inside him always spreads its warmth to those around him. He’s believed for a while now that barely anyone can see what he’s hiding underneath, that people want him for his money, his property, his material things. But you prove him wrong time and time again. You sweetly say hi to him every time you see him not because you want to put on a facade to get on his good side. You don’t help him break up a fight at the tavern and clean up after because you want a monetary reward. You don’t bake him an adorable strawberry cake for his birthday because you want something back. No, you do it because you care, because you have so much love to give, and Diluc feels so lucky to be a part of your life.
He feels his feelings grow for you as time goes on. He feels you getting closer and he barely hesitates to let you in. You didn’t break down his walls, you politely made a door for yourself to enter and it makes you both laugh to think about it that way. He stays reserved around most others but always holds the door open for you, physically and metaphorically.
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|| MASTERLIST ♡ || Thank you for reading! ||
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missadangel · 21 days ago
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The Heart of Rome (Marcus Acacius x Reader)
All Chapters List
Chapter 10: The Conflict (+18 - MDNI - Smut)
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“non est vivere sed valere vita est.”
Life is more than just being alive.
The distance from the city to the port of Ostia was not great, but the ride was rather lengthy and tiring, even for a seasoned rider. Octavius was ever watchful, noting when you were faltering and offering you a respite. You declined, though your body was crying out for it. Your sole concern was to reach Marcus before it was too late. Fortunately, a little later, Octavius noticed a few tracks on the ground as you passed through the dark woods, slowed down and dismounted his horse. He crouched down and examined the tracks then looked at you.
"We should continue on foot from this point onwards, my lady."
"Are we close?" You looked around but there was nothing in sight.
"Indeed. We must proceed with caution and avoid attracting attention. We need to leave the horses here," he said, holding the reins of his horse as he approached you and extended his hand.
"Thank you sir but I can dismount myself." You said and got down from your horse, despite the soreness in your legs. It felt nice to be able to step on the ground again. Unio let out a soft neigh, as if she had read your thoughts. You stroked her face and, grasping her reins, walked in the direction Octavius had said. It was quite some distance from the road and not very visible. In this darkness of the night, it would have been difficult to see anything if not for the moonlight anyway.
Once you had tied your horses, you set off through the forest, guided by Octavius. You eventually reached a hill. It appeared to be a rather tranquil. The only sound that could be heard was the hooting of an owl.
“My lady, if I might ask you to consider promising me something,” Octavius said.
You raised your eyebrows. “What is it?”
"If we don't make it in time, you'll come back to the villa with me."
“No need to worry about that now, if we make it in time, Sir Octavius.”
He sighed. “I'm pretty sure Acacius will kill me this time,” he muttered.
You looked at him with a hint of guilt. “I'm sorry, but you're doing this for him, for your General, your friend.”
"I hope he's already taken care of him and I hope we've came here for nothing. I'd be really happy to be reprimanded and even punched by him."
You laughed nervously. "Would it offend you if I said I hope so too, sir?"
He grinned. "Never, my lady."
"You are a good friend, Octavius.
"Always at your service.”
You were startled by the sound of a horse neighing and immediately sought cover behind nearby bushes. You observed that three horses were tethered in the forest.
"That's Dromos," you realized.
"We must be close," Octavius said quietly.
You soon heard the sound of swords clashing in the distance and moved at a slow pace towards it. When you saw Marcus from behind, you were on the verge of running to him without thinking, but Octavius grabbed you by the shoulder and pulled you back.
“We can't let them see us,” he said, warning you.
He led you to move out of sight to the left, where you hid in the bushes. You observed the situation at a distance and noticed that Marcus cut a soldier with his sword made him collapsed to the ground. However he was alone, probably having lost his men. Macrinus, on the other hand, was standing just behind the five soldiers.
“General, you must cease this nonsense. You'll get yourself killed.”
“Not before I take your life first!”
Your heart was racing with worry. Even for Marcus, who was one against five men, survival was a near impossibility. Octavius stepped in front of you as you stood up.
“My lady, please wait here, I will back him up," he whispered, his hand moving to his sword.
Just then, you heard horse hooves and three horsemen appeared, coming towards them from ahead. Macrinus let out a laugh. Octavius swallowed and looked at his General, unsure of what to do.
At the time you thought you had to stop it somehow, knowing the fact that Marcus won't stand much of a chance. It seemed that he had no intention of retreating though. Furthermore, he assumed a defensive stance, grasping his sword more firmly.
You reached out to grasp Octavius' arm as he began to step towards them.
"I must stop them."
Octavius opened his eyes wide. "But how, my lady? No, return to your horse now, and-"
"No, please hear me out. I don't believe Macrinus will harm me. And Marcus won't let him go no matter what. Besides even with your help, you can't beat all of them. This is the only way.”
Octavius seemed unsure. "What makes you so sure that he won't harm you?’
“Think about it. He has known me for quite some time.” You observed them from behind the bushes. It seemed as though Marcus was contemplating an attack. “If he wanted to kill me he would have done it when we were alone, but instead he made me appear before the council, why do you think?”
"To help you regain your title and gain formal recognition."
'Well, it wasn't out of the goodness of his heart, of course. I believe that when he ascends to the throne, he thinks it would be beneficial for him to have a strong consort that he values in his council." Your voice cracked.
Octavius clenched his jaw. “There is no stronger consort than a princess,” he muttered. Then opened his eyes wide. “If he kills the General-“ he swallowed, words caught in his throat.
“I won't let that happen. So step aside and let me stop them.”
Octavius nodded in despair. "If things don't go well, I'll be here to ensure your safety and that of the General. I'll do my utmost until my last breath.”
You nodded and took a deep breath, moving slowly through the bushes. Just then all five men and the others drew their swords making a schwing sound echoing through the woods.
"General, this is my final warning. It is not possible for you to survive this." Macrinus called out to him.
Marcus was aware that, regardless of his considerable strength as a warrior, it would be extremely challenging to fight against such a large number of soldiers. But retreat was not an option for him. He had to take Macrinus down and make sure his head was severed from his body, no matter what. If he could do that, he didn't mind facing his own death in the end. He was only afraid of being separated from you; he had no other fears at all. He was truly grateful for all those beautiful moments he shared with you. Getting ready for a confrontation, he pointed his sword at the soldier charging towards him. Just as he was about to attack, you suddenly jumped in between them, yelling.
“Stop!"
With determination, you swiftly drew your knife from its sheath on your ankle, holding it firmly in one hand as you prepared to execute your seemingly absurd plan. Marcus opened his eyes wide, looked at you in surprise, and then glanced around.
"Aurelia! What the hell are you doing here?" He yelled.
"My lady!" Macrinus was shocked too. Keeping his distance, moving towards you behind the soldiers, equally bewildered.
"End this, please." You said without looking at either of them.
"Go back, now!" Marcus shouted, knowing full well who had brought you here.
"I'm not going anywhere without you," you protested.
"I have to finish what I started. Now, go!” He hissed.
He brandished his sword at Macrinus's men once more, determined not to back down. You, however, had no intention of letting him get himself killed. With no other option, you put your knife against your neck. Marcus looked back at you, astounded. As your eyes met, Macrinus, as you had suspected, grew concerned and approached you.
“That knife looks pretty dangerous, my lady. I think you should give that to me.”
“Stay back!” You shouted at him, “Don't come any closer!”
“Are you mad? What do you think you're doing?” Marcus roared. He was boiling with anger.
"I'm a medicus, aren't I? I know exactly how and where I should cut to kill myself without suffering."
Marcus clenched his jaw.
"Do you wish to kill yourself, my lady?" Macrinus asked.
You looked at him, feeling the sharp surface of the knife, it made you tense but forced yourself to stay calm. Also, it seemed like a good opportunity to see if your theory was correct.
“You don't want me to die, do you, Sir Macrinus?’
He raised his hand as if he wants to stop you. “No, of course not, my lady. Please put that knife down.” He looked at Marcus. “Acacius, I think we're done here.”
Marcus looked at him with a piercing gaze. “This isn't over, Macrinus.”
He laughed, then his gaze hardened as he looked at him. “You'd better be on the right side when the inevitable happens, General, if you care enough for your wife.”
“If not today, rest assured that I will end you.” Marcus growled.
“It would only be to your detriment,” he said, his eyes shifting to you before he nodded and turned. He tapped one of his soldiers on the shoulder. “Sheath your swords! We're heading for the harbour!” He jumped on his horse and the soldiers followed him behind.
Marcus turned his head towards you and came up to you angrily, snatching your knife and pulling so hard that you stumbled towards him.
"Why did you come here? How dare you hold a knife to your throat?" he barked. His voice was loud enough to make you startle. "I didn't give you this to cut yourself! Don't you value your own life at all?"
"You're the one who doesn't value your own life!" You shouted back. Marcus frowned. "What's the matter with you? Do you think it's worth risking your life trying to kill him? You know how it feels when you lose someone you care about. How can you be so selfish? Have you ever thought about what I'd do if you died? You're so mean.”
As your tears rolled down your cheeks, Marcus' expression softened. He approached you, took your face in his hands and gently wiped your tears away with his thumbs. His dark brown eyes spoke volumes, but he was so angry that he remained silent. After staring at you for a while, he pulled his hands back and looked towards the bushes.
"Octavius! I know you're in there, get over here now!"
The bushes rustled and crunched loudly. As soon as Octavius set foot on the dirt road, you noticed the tension on his face despite the darkness. He came up to you and bowed his head to the General. Marcus gripped him by his leather armour in his fist and pulled roughly.
“Since when have you begun to disobey my orders?”
“Forgive me, sir. I was wrong.”
“I forced him, Marcus,” you interjected.
He ignored you. “I told you to protect her, you shouldn't have cared about what she said to you. You should have stopped her, Even if it meant locking her up or tying her up, it would have been better to do so.”
You laughed hysterically. “You can't be serious.”
He turned towards you. “I'm quite serious, my lady. Instead of risking your life in such a ridiculous way, you would be safe."
You rolled your eyes. "I wasn't really intending to kill myself. I just wanted to be sure of Macrinus' intentions, but you were so determined to sacrifice yourself without listening to me, so I didn't know what else I could do.”
“We'll talk about it when we return home,” he said, pointing his index finger at you. Then he turned and approached his soldiers lying lifeless on the ground, sorrow evident in his eyes. “Octavius, make sure the funeral rituals for our brothers shall be arranged.”
“Yes, sir.” He approached him, kneeling next to a soldier and closing his eyelids.
From a distance, you watched them and found yourself blaming yourself. Perhaps if you had arrived sooner, you could have played a role in saving their lives. Or, if you had come later, Marcus might have faced a similar fate. You shook your head and tried to put these thoughts out of your mind.
While Octavius tended to the deceased soldiers, you and Marcus returned to the villa on horseback. It was just after midnight. The vast majority of the villa's residents were awake and gathered in the courtyard, awaiting your return. Marcus remained silent all the way back, likely still enraged at you. You were no different. It was torture to think that you had nearly lost him because of Macrinus.
Cato respectfully took hold of the reins of Marcus' horse as he jumped down. You dismounted too, noting that your legs felt a little sore from the long ride. As soon as you landed on the ground, you felt a momentary loss of balance, but Marcus' arm caught you. You smiled at him. Even though he was angry; he was still there to protect you. However, he did not smile back. Instead, he took hold of your wrist and pulled you towards the courtyard.  Furthermore, he was not as gentle as he usually was. He did not care when you moaned from the pain in your wrist. He took a quick glance at everyone in the courtyard who greeted you and pulled you towards the stairs. When you turned your head, you saw their faces. They seemed grateful for the safe return of their Dominus, but perhaps a little worried about you. At least, that was your interpretation, because you knew you were in trouble.
He shut the door behind you. You were glad when he released your wrist, as it started to throb. You knew it would be bruised by the next day. Marcus put his holster away while you rubbed your wrist with your other hand. You went over to help him remove his armour. He was aware of your intentions and leaned against the edge of his desk with his arms folded. There was blood splattered on the Medusa's face and on the leather strips of the armour. You gave Marcus a direct look as you undid the armour's threads. He was still frowning and staring ahead. He still seemed to refuse to look at you as you undid the other side.
“You know you're not the only one who's angry, right?”
He then turned his head to you as your fingers unraveled the threads a little harder.
“You can't be any angrier than I am.” He took off his armour.
You crossed your arms, “Why not, I can be just as angry as you.” You lifted your head and looked away stubbornly.
Marcus was trying not to laugh at your behaviour. He pressed his lips together and cleared his throat.
“No way, princess. I'm more than angry; I'm fuming!”
You looked at him as he walked towards you. His gaze certainly showed his anger, but when you noticed the hint of mischief at the corner of his lips, you decided to continue playing this game. He was removing his armbands.
“Fuming? Hah! I'm furious!” you shouted sarcastically.
He threw the armbands on the floor and came right in front of you. This time his gaze was intense.
“I'm filled with wrath!” he growled.
You involuntarily took a step backwards. “So?” 
He appeared to be relishing the opportunity to engage in this somewhat heated, sexual tension-filled game, as he took a few steps towards you.
Suddenly, your back slammed on the wall. He lifted your wrists above your head and leaned in.
"I think you deserve some punishment," he murmured, his breath caressing your ears and causing your body to shudder. He pressed his pelvis against yours and his lips found the vein on your neck. He sucked and nibbled at it, sending a tingling sensation throughout your body. His lips trailed from your neck to your chin, and you found yourself longing to touch them.
You took a sharp intake of breath. He teased your lips with a slight touch before retreating. You leaned forward, aiming for his lips, but you failed. He smirked. His right hand roughly removes your cloak and undresses you, while his left hand keeps a strong hold on your wrists. Your dress fell to the floor, pooling around your feet as the hem caught on the scabbard tied around your ankle. Marcus bent down, untied it and pulled it off. Suddenly, he grabbed you by the legs and threw you over his shoulder. Before you could blink, you were on the bed, gasping for breath. Your stomach tightened with excitement when he emerged from above you.
But he still hadn't taken off his tunic, you thought angrily.
It seemed a bit unfair that you were the only one who was naked. He pushed you back gently when you reached towards him. "Not yet, princess." His hot breath hit your breasts, making you squirm. You were infuriated when he roughly spread your legs with the palm of his hand. Was he going to enter you before your lips met and traveled over each other's body, before his hands caressed your breasts? That's what he called punishment?
You bit your lower lip as you felt his strong fingers on your most sensitive spot. But his fingers lingered, moving in circles. You wanted to sit up and look at him, but he pushed you backwards with his other hand. After teasing your clit with his fingers, which made you clench the sheet, he grabbed your hips and buried his head between your legs. He deliberately blows into your folds, making pleasure run through your body. His erection sears your skin, making you aware that he's getting pleasure from driving you mad with his mouth. He flips his tongue and sucks your most sensitive area hungrily, relentlessly. You moan loudly and your response encourages him to increase the pressure. He is an expert in the art of pleasure giving and he uses you as skilfully as he uses his sword.
“Marcus,” you groaned, you're almost sure that your voice echoing in every corner of the villa. Feeling almost at the edge. You feel him smiling as he moves his lips and touches your body with his warm tongue and fingers. But he retreats suddenly. You moan in protest. You open your eyes to look at him. Panting. You feel a surge of disappointment and a distinct sense of being used. But he laughs cruelly. He wipes your sweet liquid from his lips with his thumb, then licks and sucks the tip, smiling crookedly all the while.
You frown. “So that was your punishment?”
“I was actually going to do more, but…" He quickly takes off his tunic, throwing it on the floor. “I missed you so much and I want you so badly right now.”
“Take me then.” You smiled naughtily.
He smiles back and grabs your arm, using his soldier strength, he turns you and bends you over until you're crouching on your knees. One of his hands is still holding yours behind your back, and the other keeps your torso down so your breasts press against the silk sheet. You wriggle, and his grip tightens. Gods! You haven’t ever felt so helpless. Used like a toy. He keeps teasing your lower wet lips with the tip of his erection. His voice is husky, sensual. “How will I take you, my sweet princess?”
He digs his fingers deep into the cheeks of your butt. This position feels raw, animalistic but pleasantly erotic at the same time. “Shall I take you this way?” he asks without stopping his hungry attack. His warm breath, and beard tickles your ear, and waves of hot pleasure wash through your skin. As though your body is a toy, he forcibly turns you again, and now your under him once more. One hand holds you immobile by your throat. The other grabs your hip. "Or this way?" he says as his now-soaked tip presses against your entrance, bringing shudders and ecstasy into your squirming body. You moan loudly, pressing his lips to yours roughly, silencing you.
He’s taken full control of your body and won’t share it with you. He’ll take you in any way he wants. And, yet, because your body is yearning for him, you can’t bring yourself to ask him to stop, this was a huge turn-on for you. "Marcus," you whimpered. "Please, I want to be yours. Take me now. Pretty, pretty, please." You begged.
He smiled and let you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him to you. He was as impatient as you were, but he was determined to keep this fun and heated game going. He was having fun rubbing his lips against yours and making you whimper a little more. For him, there was no comparison to watching you squirm to be his.  But he couldn't wait to be inside you, and when he finally pushed his length inside your walls, entered you roughly, your body trembled with pleasure. You felt euphoric when his mouth finally met yours. You enjoy him kissing you with incredible hunger until you forget to breathe. With each rough thrust, you instinctively dug your fingers into his back which made him lose it, deepening the kiss, turning it into a carnal mating of mouths. He bit your lower lip, and you moaned with both pain and pleasure. He released his bruising grip, the hard press of his lips, and rolled onto his back, taking you with him. He seems a little worried, but when you giggle at him, he grins and buries his head between your breasts, licking your sternum all the way to your neck. He grabs you by the waist and spins you around, your back hitting his chest. He kisses your shoulder, nuzzles his nose into your hair and finds your ear.
“I want to take you this way.” His hot breath hits your ear as he caresses his way up your neck, making you shiver.
He practically has to arrange your limbs himself as he folds you forward onto your hands and knees and settles behind you. He wrapped his arms around your torso, entering you from behind, and you moved together, as one, never once breaking your intimate connection. When he increased his rhythm, one hand gathered your hair on one side of your neck. His lips traveled from your neck to your exposed shoulder, while his other hand wrapped around your waist. This position made you feel his length much deeper inside you. Your mewl-like moans were added to his and harmonized with the slick sound of each thrust. it sounded like your own special music. Marcus' hands slid under your arms to your breasts and cupped them. You threw your head back in pleasure, bumping into his shoulder as he kissed your neck repeatedly. With his forehead and brows covered in sweat, he sensed that the end was near and his hands gripped your hips tightly, deepening his thrusts and reaching his climax at the same time as you. You instinctively leaned forward as he filled you with his warm liquid, but he caught you and wrapped his arms around you tightly. He groaned loudly and his hot breath washed over your ear. You felt his nose on your cheekbone. His hand cupped your chin, turned your face to his and kissed you passionately. As you wrapped your arms around his neck and turned towards him, he pulled out of you and pressed his forehead to yours, both of you panting. Your eyes were closed, savouring the moment as the sweat mingled on your forehead and ran down your cheeks. You opened your eyes as Marcus placed a kiss on the tip of your nose.
He brushed back a few strands of hair that stuck to your forehead, also caught in your eyelashes. You looked into his eyes and looked at him.You spoke with your eyes for a while, then he frowned. He took your face in his hands, his expression serious. You were unaware that you were crying until his thumbs wiped away your tears from your cheeks. He bent his head and kissed your eyelids and long eyelashes. You nuzzled your head into his neck and he wrapped his arms around you. You couldn't stop your sobs and tears. All the emotions you felt seemed to take over your body at once.
His fingers ran through your hair. “My love. From now on, I won't risk my life easily,” he said in a velvety tone. “So please don't cry.”
You nodded and sniffled. Marcus kissed the top of your head and pulled you down with him onto the bed. You snuggled into his chest, realising how much you missed him even though it had only been a few days. It was late at night and the only sound in the room was the two of you breathing.
“I guess this has become a habit for me,” Marcus broke the silence.
You raised your head and looked at him. You ran your eyes over the sparse beard on his chin, greying in places.
"I've always lived my life like this, always fighting, battling, killing. It's the easiest thing I can do." His fingers traced the curve of your spine. “I was never afraid, not of death, not of losing. I just fought. It was easy because I had nothing to lose. That night, when I was poisoned, I knew it was time for my eternal rest. I felt relieved, not afraid, but ready.”
You swallowed, thinking about that night for the first time in a long while.
"But then I saw those eyes and they gave me the purpose to carry on living." He tenderly touched your cheek with the back of his hand. You raised your head to meet his gaze. He was already looking at you.
“Now I have a responsibility,” he smiled. “My weakness.” He bent his head and stroked yours with his nose. “A beautiful reason for me to die for.” His lips ran through your forehead. "Dying for Rome is easy, simple. But for you, my lady, it's hard, painful. The thought of never seeing you again.” He exhaled deeply. “It puts me in agony.” He frowned. “Just when I saw you put that knife to your neck so recklessly. It was painful too. I'm still angry with you for that.”
You propped yourself up on your elbow to look at him. "I feel the same way, Marcus. I can't even begin to tell you how much it hurts me to think of losing you. I couldn't sit idly by while you risk your life. I'd never be able to bear to lose you." Even the thought of it made you shudder.
He sighed and turned his head towards you. “You won't lose me. There is nothing more important to me in this life than you. How whole and at peace I feel when I hold you in my arms when I'm deep inside you. The reason is you, princess. The reason I wake up every morning with a smile. The reason I am eager to return home from my duties. To you. So I don't want you to do one more thing to put yourself in danger.”
You kissed his chest. You wanted to say more but his words were so beautiful, you couldn't object. You felt tired from the horse journey so you snuggled closer to him. Before he wrapped his arm around you, he covered you both with the sheet. You were finally about to get the peaceful sleep you had been longing for for days. In his arms.
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When you woke up in the morning, the sun was high in the sky, but it wasn't its light that woke you up. Instead, it was the gentle caresses you felt on your legs that roused you. Your hand moved to the side of the bed to feel the sheets, but Marcus wasn't there. You opened your eyes when the caresses on your legs were replaced by nibbles. Was he under the sheet? Your eyes opened wide when you saw Marcus's face, smirking at you from between your legs.
“Morning, princess.” His boyish and mischievous grin spread all over his face. “May I?”
“What are you- Ow!” You gasped when you felt his tongue on your most sensitive area.
Expertly, he was licking, biting, sucking, giving you incredible pleasure this early in the morning. You had now discovered all the men inside his enormous body. The honourable man, the dominant leader, the fearless warrior, the poet, the loving husband, the romantic gentleman, the expert lover full of lust, the child inside the fourth year old man.
You smiled when the lustful expert lover has taken you to the sky full of pleasure. It's empowering to know that it was you who drove a powerful, dominating, strong beast like him mad. As you descend from the sky, he settles on top of you, placing kisses from your legs to your belly and then to your breasts and chin. He kisses your eyelids and asks you to look at him without telling you. Now that you know him so well, you immediately obey. Since you are already so ready for him, he enters you easily. He wraps his arms around you, you throw your hands back and clench the sheets. Your body curves backwards and he speeds up his thrusts. You try to suppress the urge to close your eyes tightly. He realises and finds a new solution for you and presses his forehead to yours. You smile when your eyelashes touch. But then, when he gets closer to the edge, also gets deeper into you and increases the pace tremendously, he buries his head in your collarbone. You wrap your arms tightly around his neck. And once again, you ascend to the sky. This time, you feel immense pleasure. You feel a few bites on your neck. You look at him, your eyes alight with wonder, and marvel at the beauty of the man that is coming undone inside you. He tightens his arms around your waist and moans as he reaches his climax. His body collapses on top of yours, his arms loosening. It's so beautiful to watch him as you feel his heated breath on your neck. To feel his heart thudding violently against his chest, the way your bodies connected. You both savour the glorious, euphoric feeling of being in love. Your breathing returns to ease, you feel him soften inside you and he lies down beside you, pulling you into his arms.
"Do you have any duties today?" you ask as you run your fingers over his chest.
"Yes, first I have to meet with my legates, then I have to go to the barracks. I believe there may be someone spying for Macrinus. It would be beneficial to find him before he returns to Rome."
"Didn't you say you'd already found him?"
"No, he was Julia's." His voice was sharp. You were sure he killed him. It must have been very hard for him though, a soldier from his own troops spying for someone else. After a moment or two of silence, you asked him to change the subject.
"Am I forgiven?"
“I’m thinking about it.”
You sat up in bed, intending to study his face, but suddenly a feeling of nausea hit you and you fell back. Your neck hit his shoulder.
“Oh…" You put your hand to your head. Your vision was blurred, closed your eyelids.
“My love. Are you alright?" There was concern in his voice. He sat up in bed and wrapped his arms around you.
You opened your eyes and smiled at his worried face. “My head is spinning a bit.”
“It's almost noon. You've been sleeping for a while.”
“Noon?" You hadn't realised it had been that long. You were usually up early, woken by the rooster. Perhaps it was because you hadn't slept well for a few days without him.  Maybe it was because you hadn't slept properly in his absence for days. "But did you wake up first and await me?"
"That is correct, but then I became somewhat impatient if you remember." he winked.
You smiled shyly. He graciously kissed the top of your head. “My lady, I believe that you may be hungry, are you not?"
You yawned and nodded. “Indeed I am. I must admit that I am rather famished after my longest horse journey.”
He laughed. "I'll tell them to prepare a lunch for us. I must then take my leave.”
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Once Marcus had departed from the villa, you wanted to check on the girls. Norell and Decima were sitting together in the courtyard, weaving rugs. You stood nearby, observing them. Decima was from Egypt, so she was used to weaving and her hands were moving with practiced ease. She mentioned about it before.
"My lady, would you care to try?" Decima asked.
"It looks very intricate," you hesitated.
Tullia came into the courtyard with a laundry basket. She made a slight gesture of respect with her head as she caught sight of you. You observed that she was walking with a slight limp. She seemed to be in pain.
“Tullia, your leg seems to be bothering you."
She put the basket down and let out a sigh. “My knees, my lady. I guess it's because I'm too old now.”
"Let me take a look," you said gently, walking over to her. Despite her objection, you helped her sit down in the chair and examined her knees. Given her late fifties age, you diagnosed her with rheumatism, given her late fifties age.
"I think I know what will be good for you," you said, walking to your private clinic-like room. Tullia's eyes widened when you returned with the hemlock jar.
“Isn't this herb poisonous?”
You smiled. “Yes, and potentially deadly.” You teased her.
“Gods, my lady, please forgive me if I've made a mistake.” She placed her hand on her chest.
“Please calm yourself, Tullia. It is indeed a very poisonous plant. However, it is also very useful to the body. I'll make you a tea of this, you drink it every other day, understood?’"
She was still looking at you weirdly.
You laughed. “You do trust me, do you not?”
She nodded.  "I am grateful to you, my lady, for ensuring General's safe return to his home. So, I have great trust in you.”
You smiled. ”I imagine you must have known him for quite some time.”
"That's correct. I've been fortunate to reside in this villa for as long as I can remember."
"I see. Then you knew Marcus's father, the Dominus'?"
"Yes, my lady.”
She had been with him for many years, residing in this villa. She had likely witnessed his childhood, his youth, his unhappy marriage, everything. You felt a bit envious of her, as though she knew more about him than you know about Marcus. But you were also grateful for her loyalty over the years.
“It's the first time I've seen him alive,” she said, surprising you.
“How do you mean?” You demanded.
"Dominus. He would prefer us not to call him that, not after his father. I must say that after you came into his life, I felt like I didn't know him.  He was rather solemn, and it was rare to see him smile. But now I see that he's really alive. It's so pleasant to see him like that. I'm really grateful for that, my lady."
You put a hand on her shoulder. "And I'm grateful that you have cared for him over the years, that you have served him, that you have looked after him."
She put her hand on yours. "It is my duty," she said, smiling softly.
“Domina!"
You both turned your heads to the slave who came running towards you.
“My Lady, the Imperial guard has arrived.”
You inhaled. "Am I being summoned?"
The slave looked at you with hesitation and bowed his head, which meant affirmative. Decima came to stand beside you. "Shall I come with you?"
You grasped her hand. “Yes, please.”
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It was your brother Geta who summoned you this time. You weren't particularly curious, but you felt it would be a good idea to pay him a visit. You couldn't help but feel a little concerned about him, though. Besides, it seemed like a good idea to stop by the poorhouse on the way back. You were keen to find out how the children are doing, since you missed them. By the time the imperial carriage arrived at Palatine Hill, it was already late afternoon. You came to realise that you didn't miss wearing stola much since it was difficult to get used to the feeling of being tangled in their feet. And the knife Marcus gave you wasn't helping at all. It seemed a little odd to wear it on your ankle when you couldn't actually use it properly, but you had promised him after all. Geta was waiting for you in the great courtyard. When he realised you, he came running to you with a wide smile, his arms outstretched.
"Aurelia, you've been missed, sister!" He embraced you. You flinch every time he does this, but he deliberately ignores it.
"I'm really curious to know why you called me here."
"Come, let's talk while we drink. Shall we?" He led you to an armchair in the courtyard. You sat down next to him, and adjusted your dress to cover the knife on your leg.
"Wine," Geta ordered the slaves.
One of the slaves poured you a glass of wine. Decima was standing right next to you.
"So, you ordered the guards to send food to the Poorhouse," Geta said, taking a sip of his wine.
You brought your glass to your lips, but the smell was unappealing, so you put it on the table, and pushed it forward with your fingers.
"I did. Or, are you angry with me for this?"
Geta laughed. "I can't possibly be angry with you. However, I believe this is an unnecessary expense."
You glared at him. "Surely it's not as unnecessary as a tiger?"
"At least the tiger entertains us, sister. What is so interesting about those people? Nothing. I have not yet informed Caracalla of this, so you'd better end it before he becomes aware of it."
You leaned towards him. "You are not fully aware of the gravity of the situation, so you speak with undue levity. Would you be willing to abandon those children to their fate?”
He exhaled loudly. He pretended not to care, but he was thinking.
"If you'd like, I can show you. Caracalla doesn't need to know. Trust me, it's a lot cheaper than what you spend on other unnecessary things.”
"No way I'm going there!"
You sighed and stood up. "You do as you wish," you said, with a hint of sarcasm. "I was just considering paying a visit there." You glanced at him, took a step forward. He stood up too, grabbing your arm from behind.
"You've only just arrived, stay a little longer." He sounded like he was begging. He was looking at you in a strange way, you averted your gaze.
"I'm a married woman, I have responsibilities. And those children are one of them." You looked at him again. "As Emperor, you have responsibilities as well. They are your people too. You could come with me and see for yourself. If you are not convinced, I will not bring it up again. I promise."
He thought for a moment, then nodded. “Alright, you win. I'm coming with you.”
He stepped towards to the entrance, but you stopped him by tugging on his arm. "Perhaps you might like to consider changing your attire?" You asked, running your eyes over his fancy toga.
"What's in my attire?" He looked down at himself.
"Well. Your bronze crown, your gold embroidered toga, your gold bracelets, necklaces, and rings, need I say more?’
"Or do you want me to dress like a commoner? Never!" He frowned.
You rolled your eyes at him. It was futile to try to persuade this stubborn boy. So, you gave up. "Very well, as you wish, Your Majesty.”
His frown vanished and he smirked.
As you made your way across the courtyard towards the gate, you became aware of a few murmurs and turned your head in that direction. A group of people were heading into the great hall. Their attire differed from that of the members of the Senate.
"I had completely forgotten they were coming today," he said.
'Is there an official meeting with Caracalla?'
“Our relatives,” he murmured.
You regarded him with a look of surprise. “You were correct in your assumption,” he said, observing them from a distance. “The execution of Gaius has caused some distress within the dynasty in Leptis Magna. They have come here to speak with the emperor.”
"And what about you? You are the emperor as well."
He shrugged slightly. "It doesn't matter. I'm sure he will make a decision similar to the one I would have made."
"Which is...?"
Geta's face suddenly became serious. Without answering, he pulled you towards the gates roughly. But you clearly heard the sounds of screaming and shouting coming from the hall. You felt a shiver run down your spine.
“Did he murder them?” Your voice cracked.
He grabbed your shoulders and pushed you into the carriage. "They killed themselves at the very moment they set foot in Rome, Aurelia.”
It seemed that Decima was attempting to sit next to you, but he indicated the seat opposite. He then sat right next to you. You couldn't focus on them staring at each other, the screams still echoing in your ears, and continued to torture you all the way. All this brutality felt so wrong.
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When you arrived at the Poorhouse, the children noticed you and ran towards you with huge, beaming smiles on their faces, gathering around you with cheerful laughter.
“Princess Aurelia!”
You smiled at them. They then looked curiously at your emperor brother, who was standing behind you. The guards approached Geta, looking a little wary. Geta covered his nose with his hand. With a somewhat displeased expression on his face he extended his arm towards them as if warning them.
“Don't you dare come near me!” He yelled.
“They're just children,” you muttered.
“But, they're filthy,” he grimaced.
You rolled your eyes and went over to the boy you had met earlier. It seemed that the mother and baby were doing better. You asked Decima to bring your bag and, as Medicus, you examined the woman and her breast milk, which was now coming in. Geta observed you as you treated a few wounded and sick people. He maintained his distance, of course. Since these people had only seen his face from a great distance before, their jaws were dropped open when he appeared before them in all his majesty.
The provisions have been brought as you requested. But it didn't seem to be enough to feed these people, yet they were happy and grateful.
"I should also provide some new clothes for them," you said, approaching Geta.
He folded his arms and looked them up and down. His expression had become somewhat more gentle, as though he was lost in thought. He seemed to be deeply affected by the unfortunate situation he had witnessed.
"You were right after all," he murmured. "They really do look rather poorly."
You looked at him. "Your Majesty, you have decided to extend a helping hand to these people?"
He locked eyes with you for a moment, his expression hard to decipher, but he seemed happy. Then he cleared his throat. "I would never allow them to pollute the streets of Rome." He turned to one of the guards. "Do as Princess Aurelia says. Make sure you provide what is needed here. And if you dare to speak to my brother about this, I will have your tongue cut out myself.”
The guard bowed his head. “Yes, Your Highness.”
You smiled at him. “Thank you, brother. I believe there may be some good in you after all."
He frowned. "I'm not sure if that's meant as an insult or a compliment."
“Perhaps both.” You stuck your tongue out at him and laughed. You were just trying to make him laugh and your intentions were innocent. But he wasn't laughing. In fact, he was looking at you seriously in a way you'd never seen him before.
"Don't laugh at me like that." His voice was sharper than his gaze. “As if you don't belong to someone else.”
You swallowed, his eyes looking at you with a dangerous intensity. You averted your eyes.
“My lady,” Decima came to your side. She was holding a bowl, without even turning your head, you could smell what was in it. The smell of meat was intense. You felt like your stomach was cramping.
“Hot, freshly prepared food has arrived, the children are eating. Would you like to have some too?”
Instinctively you covered your nose with your hand. "No, Decima, could you keep that bowl away from me?"
"Ah, it seems we have some things in common after all. I think it looks disgusting too." Geta said with a displeased expression. "Well, I think I've seen enough, I want to leave now." He turned towards the carriage.
He raised his hand and beckoning you to join him. As it was nearing dusk, you were keen to return home, so you nodded in agreement. However, as you began to walk towards him, your vision blurred, and your feet betrayed you, causing you to collapse on the ground. When your cheek touched the cold cobblestone, you felt a severe headache. Then everything went black. The last thing you remember was Decima and Geta's concerned voices mixed together with the voices of children.
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You felt slight shaking of your body, which prompted you to wake up. Your headache was still present, opened your eyes slowly. The first thing you saw were the golden curtains glimmering by moonlight, which entered through the long window. Next to the window was an armchair with golden details. It seemed as though everything in the room had a golden hue. You realized that you had been in this room before. You were beginning to regain consciousness. You then sat up.
"Sister, I hope you are feeling a little better?"
You opened your eyes wide and looked at Geta, who was lying next to you. On the bed. His bed. You let out a scream in shock. He flinched.
"WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?” You quickly checked yourself over. Your clothes had been took off, and you were wearing a white, almost see-through tunic that didn't just belong to you. “What happened to my clothes?” You yelled.
Geta covered his ears with his hands. “Ugh! Could you please stop screaming? You're hurting my ears!”
“What have you done to me?”
He laughed loudly and hysterically. "Apart from making you clean up and bring it to my room? What was I supposed to do? You collapsed on that awful, stinking street. Should I have let you stay in your filthy clothes? It was gross, so I had them thrown away."
The slaves must have dressed you, at least that was a relief. But you were still very angry that you had been put in this embarrassing situation. You realised that his eyes were roaming over you. You grabbed the sheet and pulled it up to your neck, covering your body.
“Get me some decent clothes now!” Your voice was slightly trembling with anxiety.
Geta raised his eyebrows, he pointed his index finger at himself. “Did you actually say that to me? You have no manners at all. You don't know how to talk to an emperor.” He teased.
You moaned in response, placed your head in your hands and rested on your knees.
“Please, call Decima over here.”
"I want to know why you fainted. Tell me, are you sick?"
He touched your shoulder, you pulled yourself back and got out of bed. It is almost nighttime now. The mere thought of Marcus coming to Domus Severiana and seeing you like this made you shiver.
"Girl!" Geta yelled towards the door.
Decima and Geta's slave entered the room together, both looking at you with concern.
"Make sure you dress the princess properly. Otherwise she'll be torturing my ears with her squeaky voice all night." He said, squinting at you.
You ignored him. When the girl left the room to bring you a stola, Decima came over and held your hands.
"Are you alright? You frightened me.”
"I'm fine, but we should return to the villa now."
‘"Indeed, you've been unconscious for a while, it's almost midnight."
"Midnight?" You bit your lip.
Now that was something to worry about. You were sure Marcus would be here soon. Luckily the slave girl came with a stola and began to dress you. You heard footsteps and then a knock on the door.
Geta was still sitting on the bed, wine in his hand. With his permission, a slave boy who came in looked scared. “Your Highness, my lady. General Acacius-“
“Aurelia!”
Marcus's booming voice made you feel like you were on the verge of fainting again.
Geta grinned. "This is going to be fun."
You warned him as he was leaving the room. "Please don't say anything ridiculous to him.”
He shrugged. With your heart beating like it was going to burst out of your chest, you urged the girls to hurry up. Geta left the room. You tensed up even more when you heard him calling his name. Finally, the girls finished dressing you as quickly as they could, and you left the room, heading for the stairs with Decima who was trying to catch up with you. As you descended the stairs, you saw him and locked eyes with Marcus. He observed you with a keen gaze. You bit your bottom lip. He then looked at the stairs that belonged to Geta's chamber, then at Geta himself. Suddenly he grabbed Geta's collar with his fists, causing everyone to become tense.
"Have you gone mad Acacius? What do you think you're doing?” Geta barked.
“Marcus!” You ran towards them.
The guards drew their swords.
“What have you done to my wife?” He roared.
“Get your hands off me now!” Geta warned.
“Marcus, please, it's not what you think.” You grabbed his big hands and tried to pull them away from your brother's collar, but it was like moving a marble statue.
“You don't seem to be taking good care of your wife like you promised.”
Marcus tightened his grip and shook him angrily. “What are you saying?”
The guards approached the two of them, their swords pointed at Marcus.
“General Acacius, I warn you.” One of the guards said.
Marcus ignored him, his dark eyes locked on Geta’s.
“Your wife fainted in the middle of the street. I wonder if you were aware that she's been sick.’’
Marcus then withdrew his hands, released him. You exhaled in relief. Geta ordered the guards to put their swords away.
Marcus stepped towards you. "Is that true?" He sounded concerned, touching your face with his hands.
You grasped his hand. "I felt unwell for a moment, but I'm fine now."
Marcus observed your face a little more. Then put his arm around you and glared at Geta. "We shall take our leave now."
Geta shouted behind you two. "You're not even going to ask for my forgiveness, Acacius?"
Marcus answered without looking at him. "With all my heart, no."
You turned your head and looked over your shoulder at Geta. He looked angry and annoyed. You gave him a faint smile.
"Your Highness, shall we stop him?" One of the guards gripped his sword once more.
"Just give us the order, Your Highness."
"Shut the hell up! Leave me alone, all of you! Get out of my sight!" He shouted at them and walked towards his chamber. Caracalla watched the whole thing from a distance, he was looking at his brother coming up.
"You're so pathetic." Caracalla chastised.
"Don't you start!" Geta barked at him, walked towards his room, and slammed the door.
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It was well after midnight by the time you arrived back at the villa. Marcus still seemed a little tense, which made you wonder what he was thinking. He was looking at your ankle as you walked to your room. He stopped in front of the door.
“I do not see your knife.”
You looked at him, you had no clue.
“Here, sir,” Decima said. She came up the stairs and stood beside you. She was holding your scabbard in her hand. She handed it to you. “After you fainted-“ She avoided Marcus's stern gaze, turning her eyes to you. “I'm the one who dressed you so I kept this.”
“Thank you, Decima.”
She smiled. “If you'll excuse me, sir, my lady,” she bowed and turned to head for the stairs.
Marcus closed the door behind you. He placed his hands on your shoulders and guided you to sit on the bed, then sat down next to you.
"My love. Are you sure you're feeling well?" His hands touching all over your face.
How can I possibly feel bad when you touch me like this? You thought.
"I suppose I do not need to bring a Medicus for you?” He smirked. “So, what is your diagnosis, lady medicus?”
You smiled. “Hmm, I think I became a little nervous when I-“ You swallowed.
“Continue, please.”
"Caracalla. He had our relatives from Leptis Magna killed. I didn't see them, but I heard them…”
Marcus frowned, clenched his hand into a fist and pressed it to his forehead. He then closed his eyes. “That scum. He must be out of his mind for sure.”
You put your hand on his shoulder. "How do you mean?”
He then stood up. You went over him, untying the strings of his armour.
"Macrinus. He has a majority in the Senate. He managed to eliminate Gaius and his supporters. Caracalla is his instrument. It is likely that he will announce him Commander of the Praetorian (Imperial) Guards imminently. I should have killed him last night." He banged his fist on his desk, almost startling you.
You took a deep breath. “Then why did he go to Libya?” You helped him take off his armour.
"I believe there is a possibility that he is raising his own army. I haven't heard from the legions in that area for some time now."
"His own army?" You shocked. You hadn't realised how serious things were.
"If my suspicions are correct, yes. He also would want to incorporate the southern legions into his own as well."
"Your legions?"
“I'm afraid so.” He turned his head towards you. "I may have to go there soon."
You cringed and your chest hurt. You weren't expecting this at all.
Marcus realised the look on your face and put his arms around you. "I'll have to kill him sooner or later. And them too." His voice was sharp.
Surely you were aware of whom he was referring to.
“I will not waste another generation of young men on their arrogance and vanity. I will not allow Macrinus to use your brothers' trust and start a civil war that will harm Rome.”
“Caracalla, yes, but maybe Geta-“ the words seemed to stick in your throat.
"Are you defending him to me?"
"Absolutely not." You shook your head. "I was just thinking he might make a good emperor.”
"Please Aurelia. I assume you're not meant seriously.”
"He's not like Caracalla. I believe you are aware of that. I don't think you are truly inclined to kill him."
"I was considering it. When I saw you coming out of his chamber..." He pursed his lips, trying to be calm.
You tensed as you remembered that moment. "I'm truly sorry about that." You bowed your head. Marcus placed his hand under your chin and gently lifted your face to look at your eyes.
"He didn't touch you, did he?" His brown eyes were almost black.
"No, Marcus. Of course not."
He grabbed your face in his big hands, pulled you towards him, you stumbled with the sudden rush of his. "I am the only one who can touch you. You are my Aurelia. Mine."
"I am indeed, Marcus.”
"Say it," he demanded. "Say that you're mine. I want to hear it from your lips."
"I am yours." You said softly.
He smirked and bent his head, kissing you roughly almost forcefully. His skillful hands were not gentle while undressing you in a hurry. When you were completely naked, he scooped you up and put you on the bed. In the blink of an eye he was on top of you and then inside you. While he’s having you roughly, his lips, his tongue, his teeth travelled over every possible part of your flesh. Marking you. As if physically claiming you. Making you his.
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The sun had just risen when you opened your eyes. But it wasn't its light that woke you. It was the sudden pain in your stomach and the feeling like you'd been punched. You gasped and covered your mouth with your hand, attempting to suppress the urge to vomit. You hurried out of Marcus' arms and ran to the latrina. He was roused from his slumber by the sound of the door closing with a resounding bang.
“Aurelia?”
You were too distracted by feeling unwell to focus on his concerned voice. You splashed water on your face to feel better after violently throwing up. Suddenly you felt Marcus's hands on your shoulders. “My love?”
Your stomach was still causing you pain and you found it difficult to speak. Also, your head was spinning, so you took a moment to lean against the wall. Marcus quickly took you into his arms and carried you to the bed, sitting next to you.
“My lady, I'm really starting to worry now.”
“No, please don't. If I get some rest, I'll be fine.”
“Are you sure?” He took your hand in his hands.
You nodded and smiled at him. But his face showed concern.
“Perhaps I could stay here with you today.”
Just then, there was a knock on the door and Cato came in with Marcus's permission. He gave you both a nod. “Sir, I am here to inform you that the soldiers you have been expecting from the south have entered the city at dawn. The Legates have requested an immediate assembly.”
"Is that so? At last, some good news." He said, then looked at you with uncertain eyes.
You smiled at him and touched his hand with yours. "Please do not concern yourself with my well-being. Just leave. It must be important."
He leaned towards you and kissed you on the forehead. "Have a good rest, my love. And please be well." He kissed your hand before leaving the room with Cato.
After a while there was a knock on the door again. Decima brought breakfast for you.
"My lady, are you feeling better?"
"I believe so."
She approached your bedside. "Would you like me to feed you?”
You laughed. “Dear, please. Hopefully I'm not in a situation that requires me to be fed." You got out of bed and walked towards to the chair. You weren't exactly starving, but you knew you needed to eat to feel strong. You asked Decima to join you.
"My lady, well I am. I've been thinking it over.”
“Hmm?”
"This nausea you're feeling, the headaches. I wonder if...’ When she looked at you suggestively, you swallowed and looked at her, taken aback.
You'd never thought of that. As a medicus, you were confident that you didn't have any other underlying health issues. On top of that, it had been a few weeks since the wedding and you hadn't had any monthly bleeding since then.
"Gods," you murmured. "Could it really be?”
Decima took your hands, seemed excited. "I think so. Have you ever examined a woman carrying a child?"
"No, I've only assisted women in labour. I know how to run a consultation though. But it's still too early to be certain."
Decima smiled widely. "I hope you're with child."
You couldn't help smiling back. "I hope that too. But we should keep this between us for now."
"Indeed, of course.”
“Domina!” came a voice from behind the door.
“Come in.”
The slave boy from yesterday came in, his face was worried again.
“Am I being summoned again? Please tell them I'm sick and having rest.”
"You're not being summoned, my lady.”
“What's the matter, then?”
He bowed his head, as if he didn't know what to say.
“Tell me.” You demanded.
“If you can come down, you'd better see for yourself.”
You exchanged glances with Decima, then got up and left the room. As you were making your way down the stairs, you almost lost your footing when you saw the person standing in the courtyard.
“Lady Domna?”
Julia was waiting by the fountain in a black cloak. She looked a bit worried and uneasy.
"May I ask what you're doing here?"
"We need to talk." She said in a commanding tone.
You suddenly felt tense as you remembered your last conversation with her. What the hell was she doing here?
'Do you usually keep your guests waiting without offering them a seat?'
You rolled your eyes and gestured to the armchair nearby. “Have a seat.”
She sat down in a rather arrogant manner. “Leave us,” she told your slaves. But they were looking at you. Julia was annoyed.
You sat opposite her. “Leave us alone please," you said the slaves with a smile. They then bowed their heads and left the courtyard. Decima too, she nodded.
"Your slaves don't know how to behave." She muttered.
"Could you please tell me why are you here? I thought you were in Syria?"
"I've recently returned. Never mind that. I need you to help me with something."
"My help? Why should I help you?"
"Because I believe you would want to.”
You crossed your arms. "What are you talking about? Speak clearly, please."
Julia sighed. Then leaned closer to you with a sharp gaze, whispering. "I need you to help me kill Caracalla.”
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hunnylagoon · 10 months ago
Text
Right Where You Left Me
Pt 4: The Sweetest Thing to Ever Scare You (Finale)
Ellie Williams x reader
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I remember when I first saw you. I remember looking into your warm almond eyes and feeling butterflies in my stomach. But soon, when I looked into your eyes, I no longer felt the same warmth that I once knew. It felt as though you had killed all of the butterflies inside my stomach but yet, I still loved you.
Premise: You and Ellie are childhood best friends until you drift apart. Funny thing about soulmates is they tend to find their way back to each other. You and Ellie try to end the tireless war between you.
Warnings: Angst / drinking / violence / not really religious mentions in this one
Part one here!
Part two here!
Part three over here!
Guys I thought I posted this two days ago but I actually just saved it to drafts. Sorry for being an idiot lmao
I think that I have unlearned how to love.
That’s not even a word but there is no other way to tell you that I have turned myself cold.
Without partying to distract me and religion to fill in gaps of emptiness, I isolate myself and begin to write once again. I'm almost certain that my body has been telling me to write, that I need to pour myself into art as opposed to a girl I was friends with a million years ago.
I figure that I need to create rather than destroy but it might take me a while to do so.
The morning after I abandoned my faith on the church floor, I had woken up and expected Ellie to be gone, however, she was wide awake and playing subway surfers on her phone. Her hair is messy and her eyes are half-lidded. 
She turns to look at me when she feels the shuffling of the bedsheets; despite her doing nothing more than smile at me it is like an understanding passed between us, war is over.
Almost.
It's like I've forgotten how to be soft, I can't manage to get the words out that I need to, and the thought of it alone makes me cringe. "Breakfast?" I ask, unsure of what else to say.
Ellie passes on it and I awkwardly excuse myself, saying that I got called in to take a brunch shift at work. Of course, this is not true. What I do is get into my car and drive and drive until I get mad at myself for burning gas. 
The war between Ellie and I had ended but it didn't register in my head, I almost fell in love with it. Without the constant arguing and passive aggressiveness, there was nothing to put a wall between us and I wasn't ready to be vulnerable again. 
So I begin to feed Ellie the ugliest parts of me; I show her everything I'm sure she will hate but she doesn't, she's patient and shows me the kindness I have been looking everywhere for. Still, I am cold to her, I don't know what else to do. 
I try to push her away all over again but this time, she doesn't let me. Ellie comes into my room when I'm studying to sit on my bed so that she can be in proximity to me. Sometimes she'll ask me if I want to go for a walk or a late-night gas station run, all of the things we used to do.
When I'm angry at her, she lets it happen, she won't escalate the fight all she does is apologize and does what she can to fix it. Everything feels like it's in order again, Joel even starts to send me little text messages to check in on me and sends me Facebook memes that make him think of me.
As of now, we are setting up for Dina's twenty-first birthday. The living room, typically a space for casual gatherings and movie nights, had undergone a transformation. Vibrant streamers adorned the walls, and an array of balloons in assorted hues scattered themselves along the floor "Are balloons too childish?" Abby asks as she walks out of her bedroom.
"They better not be after I just spent half an hour doing all of these," Cat answers, giving her a scornful glare.
"They look great, Cat," I smile and give her a thumbs-up from where I am in the kitchen dumping bags of chips into bowls. "Should I make a veggie platter?"
Cat furrows her eyebrows "If you can finish it by yourself, sure."
"Cat, we aren't children, adults eat vegetables," Abby takes a seat on the couch behind Cat, investigating the hard work she's put into making the living room look nice for just one night "Isn't it weird that Dina is organizing her own surprise party?"
I shrug, placing a wooden cutting board down on the kitchen counter "I don't blame her, I don't think we've always been one hundred percent reliable, me specifically."
"But it's not a surprise if she knows about it."
"So?" Cat asks.
"So why are we calling it a surprise party if it isn't a surprise?"
"Why not?"
"Well, why can't we just call it a party?"
"I don't think it matters," I cut in, I begin to peel carrots and slice them up into quarters. Ellie comes out of her bedroom, she took a nap after completing her physics presentation, her hair in a messy bun, and she's in her typical pyjama uniform of sweats and a hoodie. "Hey, Ellie," I smile at her.
She rubs some sleep away from her green eyes "Hey," Ellie walks over to the kitchen island where I slice and chop vegetables and sits right in front of me. Even half asleep she looks like a statue of marble carved by a skilled hand.
Abby raises an eyebrow, asking 'When did you guys become friends?' without saying it and then it hits me like the plane in Lost. Ellie still hasn't told anyone about our history, our sixteen years of friendship is invisible to the eyes of those who think they know us well.
I'm broken from my thoughts when Abby speaks up "When are you picking up the cake?"
My heart drops "I'm not?"
Cat and Abby cast one another side glances while Ellie snatches a cucumber off my cutting board "Dina was handing out duties and you said you would take care of the cake."
I freeze, unsure of what to say "Nuh-uh." I shake my head like a child denying blame for breaking her mother's favourite dish.
"Yuh-huh," Cat shoots back. "How could you forget that?"
My mind fumbles for an excuse and somehow I land on "I forgot because I went temporarily insane from Lyme disease," What am I saying? "I got Lyme disease because I go camping in secret," I don't camp "And I never told you guys that I go camping because I'm deeply ashamed of it."
Now everyone looks perpetually confused, Ellie included "What are you talking about?" Abby asks, her eyebrows furrowed.
"Okay-well," I place my knife flat on the counter by the wooden cutting board, ignoring the odd spiel I just went on "I'm going to drive to-
"You dropped your car off for a suspension repair yesterday," Abby reminds me.
"Ellie is going to drive me to get a cake," I correct myself "I will be back to finish making my veggie plate." I quickly rinse my hands before grabbing Ellie's keys from the little jewelry dish on the island and yank the sleeve of her hoodie to pull her along.
Ellie doesn't say anything, she slips into some Crocs and we walk outside to her car. "Where are we headed?"
"Uh, hang on," In Ellie's passenger seat, I go on Google Maps to look up the closest bakeries that are still open at this hour, there are two, one a couple of streets away and the other one is across town and closing in twenty minutes. "Infectious Confections," I wrinkle my nose "That's a weird fucking name."
While Ellie tries to make conversation in the car I only speak when giving her directions to the bakery. She knows something is up and I can tell by the way she keeps glancing at me. I just can't manage to get it out of my head that she's still keeping me a secret. 
She pulls up to the bakery and I get out before she even turns her car off, she pulls the keys out of the ignition and trails behind me through the doors.
The bakery itself was rustic and clean, there were two display cases and tills one of the displays held danishes, croissants, cookies, scones and whatever those little swirly flakey things are called. The other display had a big chalk menu above it that read 'Cakery' Though what was in the display case was very sparse.  
"Hi," I walk up to the till, putting on the friendly smile and customer service voice that I usually only use at work. "This is pretty short notice but I was wondering if you had any cakes left or if I could get one made for today?"
The guy behind the counter is a scrawny teenager who looks like he has had a long enough day of dealing with annoying customers "We close in half an hour, there's not enough time to bake and decorate a cake." He explains it like he's said this to a million people, he's bored of the same phrases that his manager has scripted out for him.
"Any shot that someone didn't pick up their cake?" I ask, fingers crossed in the hope that he says yes.
"Let me talk to my manager," His voice drags on, and he turns around and disappears through a commercial kitchen door. I wait patiently, hands balled together in front of me as I rock back and forth on my heels. A minute or two later he comes back holding a bright blue cake with pink detailing of bows and mustaches, there's text on it that reads 'It's a...' gender reveal cake. "This is all we have left, they cancelled last minute.
I look back at Ellie to get her opinion, her eyebrows are furrowed slightly "Maybe we good just get some of those cupcakes and smush them together and smear the icing so it looks like a cake."
I wave her off "I'll buy it," I say this only because it is 5:41 and with each passing minute I am growing desperate, also I don't want Jesse to be disappointed that I fumbled the cake and ruined his girlfriend's birthday.
Angsty teenager puts the bright blue monstrosity into a cake box and charges me an absurd total for it, I bitterly tap my card on the machine. 
As I walk back out to Ellie's car I take a brief moment to look at the sky, it's the same hue as cotton candy and looks as if it had been projected from a watercolour painting, even after I get back into the car and Ellie begins to blast her old dad rock songs, I can't tear my eyes away from it.
After five minutes of silence from my end, Ellie finally asks the question that's been burning into the forefront of her brain "Why are you being weird?"
"Why haven't you told anyone that we met before we moved in together?"
Her dark eyebrows furrow "You haven't told anyone either-
"Yes, I have."
"Who?"
"Yara, Stacy, Kayla, Mitch, Nigel, Carmen, literally everyone from my work," I admit "I just haven't told people who know you personally so it can't make its way back to you because you clearly don't want people to know."
She falls silent, searching her mind for the right words. She clutches the steering wheel tight and looks dead ahead at the car's bumper-to-bumper ahead of us. "I just know how to slip it into conversation."
"I don't think it's that hard, you can just say that we were friends, you don't need to give an intricate play-by-play of everything that happened."
"Why is it important that people know if we're cool again?"
I turn my head to slowly look at her "You are the one who always said 'If we don't have honesty, we have nothing at all'," I point out.
Silence strings between us again, I almost want to throw up.
'We're cool again' Nope, not anymore, we are so very far from cool. Instead of Ellie casting me little glances as she had on the ride there, she ignores my presence almost completely while I glare daggers at her. Was she embarrassed by me? When we went to lunch together why did she lie to Dina about where she was? When she slept in my bed why did Cat ask me if I knew why Ellie came home at eight AM with nothing, not even a key? Did she crawl through my bedroom window to walk around to the front door and pretend she was just getting home?
AND WHY DIDN'T I CALL HER OUT?
She was keeping me a secret and that realization hurt worse than any injury I had ever suffered. She hasn't even told her dead who practically raised me that we lived together. 
God, we weren't even anything and she was keeping me under wraps like I was some disgraceful secret that she would get shamed for holding. The very second she approached our house, I got out of her car, she hadn't even stopped it completely but cake in hand, I hopped out of her car door and didn't look back.
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I think I've had my fair share of partying.
After that month-long bender I had where I went to clubs every night and replaced food with vodka, I never wanted to even look at another solo cup full of liquor. Instead of drinking, smoking, or doing karaoke, I hide from Ellie.
I hide from her in conversations and sometimes sneak into my bedroom just to get a bit of breathing room from all of the strangers in my house. Wherever Ellie was, I was not. If she was outside, I was inside, if she was in the living room, I was in the kitchen enjoying my veggie platter. 
Have you ever been the only sober person around in a group of people? If the answer is no, have you ever babysat a houseful of toddlers? Because it's just about the same thing.
When I'm not hiding from the girl who wriggled her way back into my good graces just to trip herself off the podium, I'm cleaning up, protecting our furniture, holding back hair as girls I've never met sob into the toilet, and stopping the drunk from doing stupid things. 
"Hey, buddy," I take my can of hairspray that this frat-adjacent man is holding behind an ignited lighter "I don't think you would look good as a burn victim," His friends moan in disappointment as I do so, they were very excited to see a makeshift flamethrower; I wasn't in the mood to have my house burn down, or have a guy with peach fuzz waste my thirty dollar hair spray. 
Thirty dollars?
Note to self for later: Make smarter spending choices (And smarter relationship choices!).
I felt a tap on my shoulder only to turn around and see Dina, she wasn't drunk, just tipsy "Smile!" She holds up a camera to her eye and clicks the shudder button before I even have a chance to react the flash goes off. A large Polaroid begins to print out, Dina snatches it and shakes it until you can see my silhouette, my eyes are wide, my hair flying behind me from the quick turn of my head and I'm holding a can of hairspray angled to look like I'm going to spray the camera with it "Cute!" She smiles, tucking it into her pocket for later "Wait, I want a group picture of the roommates."
Dina takes my hand and pulls me to one of the couches where Ellie and Abby sit with some guy, she shoes him to get up and drags Cat over to replace him, she stands me in between Ellie and Abby and lightly pushes me down to sit wedged between the two.
"Jesse, please do not do me dirty with this picture," She hands the pink Polaroid camera to her boyfriend and quickly ushers herself to the far left of the couch where she bends over to kiss Cat on the cheek for the picture. Ellie and I are stiff and awkward when the flash goes off. 
After the picture is taken, Ellue turns to face me just the slightest "Hey, I think we should talk-
"I think it's time for cake!" I push myself off the couch and usher myself to the kitchen. 
I pull the cake out of the fridge, looking at what I had done to salvage it; Below the part that said 'It's a...' I wrote '21 year old!' in chocolate pre-made Betty Crocker icing that I had in the fridge for months, it didn't look the best, but it could've been worse.
Dina, of course, cackles when she sees it. To her, it is the funniest thing she's seen all night. I stick the candles in and light it with the light I confiscated from peach fuzz frat boy and push the cake towards Dina after tucking the light back into my pocket, she is illuminated in the glow of iPhone flash all filming her.
"Make a wish!"
Age Sixteen- Grade 11
I think back to how embarrassing it felt to be thoughtful.
How fragile I felt when I would share my feelings and how frail I seem when I do it now. Ellie was always tougher than I was, in rugby, in fights, just in general. That's why I figured she would be taking it better than me when I cut contact, once again I have been proven wrong.
"Conner, can we please just leave?" I pleaded with my then-boyfriend. The night had started fine but after a couple of drinks Ellie and I were becoming increasingly hostile to one another, it wasn't my intention to speak to her but the universe forced my hand when we were shoved into a circle of our friends and made to converse around the bonfire at the beach.
The salty breeze carried the sounds of laughter and the gentle crashing of waves, the scent of roasted marshmallows wafted through the air.
 "What, you need your boyfriend's permission or something?" Ellie held a can of berry blast Smirnoff, staring into my soul from the other side of the fire, the sparks glitter through the night like fireflies. Her words don't feel too bad but they don't feel too good either.
I cast her a glare before I looked back to my boyfriend "Please?" 
He is getting perpetually annoyed with me he shrugs away from my grasp, "Fuck off, we just got here," He mutters, Conner must think I couldn't hear it. He had already downed three Bud lights and a couple of shots of cheap vodka, now he is nursing another beer in hand. 
"Excuse me?" I say, narrowing my eyes. Everyone around the fire pauses their conversation to tune into mine. "Come on," I stand up and try to pull him along so we can have a conversation away from the prying eyes of our friends.
I can't pull the mass of the 6'2 quarterback along with me but he obliges and follows me where I yank him. As I drag him along the rest of the group giggle and makes jokes along the lines of 'Trouble in paradise' but Ellie is the only one who doesn't jump back into mindless conversation, her unnerving eyes are still on me while I chew my boyfriend out by the shoreline. 
"Why do I have to leave just because you're feeling a little bummed out?" 
I'm almost floored at out someone can lack so much empathy "Because you're my boyfriend?" I can feel myself tensing up.
"Why does that mean you can't get up and leave on your own?" He defends "You begged me to come here and now I just wanna down a couple of beers and hang out with my friends."
"You've already drank like twenty!" I retort.
"It's a fucking party!" Conner says, raising his voice "It's a party and it's summer and you're seriously trying to tell me not to have fun?"
"Fuck!" I shout in frustration "Why don't you ever call me? Why can't you ever let me in?" The argument is quickly escalating "Why didn't you tell me that you kissed Tamar and why haven't you told me that you love me?"
"Because I don't."
My words fail me. I knew he didn't, I knew that he hardly even liked me. My dad had thought so highly of him, she said he was the type of guy to rescue a baby from a burning building but as I look at him now, I figure that he eats babies.
I almost open my mouth to say something different, almost, but I don't. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I didn't, I might've been able to salvage the rotting corpse of my relationship with Ellie but I didn't. "Fine," I say, voice calm and quiet "Let's stay."
Before that night I had never really gotten drunk but the second I got back to the bonfire, I was digging through the cooler and shotgunning canned Smirnoff. "Woah," Riley laughs "Someone's finally being a bad influence."
I got myself so shit-faced that when everyone else got up to dance to the music blaring through the Bluetooth speaker, I sat by myself at the shoreline, looking bitterly out towards to ocean while the tides crash at my feet and get sucked back into the ocean. For a moment I think about jumping in and letting my lax body get washed away and sink beneath the surface until I wash up as a water-bloated corpse that some nine-year-old will find when they're beach combing.
My mouth tastes like peroxide and blood, my lungs burn with a red-hot pain. The wind is becoming increasingly harsh and I ignore the hair that is tangled into my golden hoop earrings.
"Wow, you look awful," I don't need to turn around to know who it is.
"Can you just fuck off?" I say "I don't give a shit about you, just leave me alone."
She always had to antagonize me, Ellie went out of her way to stray from the group and bother me. It had something to do with the alcohol in her system. Despite her alleged hatred for me, she takes a seat next to me regardless.
"Fuck, you're so sensitive," She scoffs "I don't know why you're dating him, I'm not even sure why you'd want to fuck him unless you're too lazy to jerk off-
My hands think before my head and I deck Ellie right in the side of her face, getting a solid hit to her cheekbone. My hand flies over my mouth "I'm sorry, I-
Ellie doesn't waste any time in lunging back at me, she pushes me down by my shoulders until my back is in the shallow of the water that moments ago just splashed at my feet and takes a swing. The impact of her punch almost knocks me sober.
I take a sharp inhale, grabbing her elbows and pulling her down to where she was the one on her back and I was the one straddling her. I land one last blow to her nose, I hear a crunch and the panic immediately sends me scrambling to my feet. My eyes go wide at the blood dripping down, her face I turn to run but Ellie is faster, she grabs me by my hair and yanks me down further into the water with her. 
"Fucking cunt!" I cry, though my scream is drowned out by the overwhelmingly loud tides crashing on the shore "Get the fuck off me!" 
Ellie is better at fighting than I am, I had never been on this side of her before, usually, I had been the one to drag her away from fights but now I am the one who is going to stumble home numb from the devastating pain.
Frankly, I'm fucking scared.
She continues to drag me by my hair until I'm knee-deep in the water with her, she almost throws her entire weight into me, dunking me beneath the surface where her bony hands snake around my neck. My eyes have gone blurry with the salt water, they sting and burn. I can't see anything, all I can do is uselessly thrash beneath her. My hands push against her face, trying to pry her off my body. 
Eventually, I manage to claw her face with my fingernails, I dig deep enough that it breaks skin and she recoils just enough for me to knee her in the stomach and let me get out from under her. Just as I try to slip away she reaches for my hair again, but instead of tugging on my hair, she rips out my gold hoop earring. I screech out in agony, hand reaching for where the metal sliced through the lobe of my ear, I shudder in pain; my cries are now jagged and harsh.
This is the exact moment Ellie begins to regret what she's done. "Fuck, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to." Her tone softens and she tries to approach me but I back away from her like a frightened dog.
"Get away from me!" Despite the pain surging in my body, I find the strength in me to hit her again, she staggers back tripping into the water. I hit her so hard that I feel a crack in my knuckle and I yelp out in the immediate shock of pain. 
I wasn't sure when the others had noticed this was happening probably because my vision had gone blurry from salt water and adrenaline but before Ellie could hit me again, she was being restrained by Riley and Kennedy while some guy who I had probably had two conversations with dragged my back to shore.
I keel over on my hands and knees and begin to start retching onto the sand. Laila rubs a gentle hand on my back, my hair sticking wet on my forehead. A seagull, disturbed by the commotion, took flight, its wings cutting through the charged air. 
Next to the pile of vomit I just heaved, blood drips down from my ear, pooling and then soaking into the sand. My neck swells from what is still the raw sensation of Ellie closing her hands around it. 
I look up at Ellie, there is blood that has dripped its way into her mouth, clinging to her white teeth. She has what almost looks like a cat scratch running down her cheek, blood begins to prick and spill from the lacerations.
She stares back at me and we don't say a word but we understand each other clearly, I never want to see you again.
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"Let's go," Ellie grabs my arm as Dina begins to slice the cake "We're gonna fix this right now."
"Ellie, there are so many people here," I say in a hushed tone so people can't hear me.
"I don't mean here," She looks at me, face expressionless "Just get in my car."
"Excuse me?" I say, tone accusing "Did you just order me to get in your car?"
"Fuck," She sighs, dropping my wrist to rub her hands down her face "Please can you get in my car so we can work this through."
"There's nothing to work through," I retort "You're embarrassed by me or you still secretly hate me and that's fine, I meant what I said on winter break about the lease, the second it's up, I'm getting the fuck out of here."
"What? No, don't- just," She takes a breath, reevaluating what to say "I have a point to make but I can't make it unless you get in my car."
We stare at each other for a moment, I narrow my eyes and she is still unmoving. Every scenario runs through my head of what could be waiting for me in that car.
"Fine."
I sit silently in her passenger seat, my knees are pulled into my chest and I rest my chin on them. Ellie doesn't say anything either as she drives. I watch each traffic light pass me, every street name to try and make sense of where we are going.
I almost feel like I'm going to suffocate beneath the silence of everything going left unsaid.
When I spot the boardwalk up ahead, I know exactly where she's taking me "Ellie, why are we at the beach?" I give her a side glance "Do I need to take out my earrings?"
Heat rises to her cheeks when I say this, "Not yet," She jokes, getting out of her car and grabbing a tote bag from the back seat, and I follow in tow.
We walk past the boardwalk and onto the sandy beach, I'm already not feeling whatever she's doing; there is sand filling up my Converse and a slight wind chill, I'm really wishing I had a hoodie right now. "Can you tell me what we're doing yet?" I'm hugging myself in an attempt to stay warm "If we're still walking on the beach why couldn't we have just walked on the boardwalk instead? It literally has walk in the name." I'm already going off on one of my tangents.
She still walking ahead of me but she briefly turns around to face me "Can you just stop asking questions for a minute?"
"Okay, whatever," I mutter, trailing behind her still. I can hardly see in the night, the only light to guide us is the moon and the warm ceiling lamps from restaurants along the boardwalk. I can vaguely see Ellie's silhouette, she's outlined by the gentle glow radiating off the moon, I try my best not to stumble over things poking out of the sand that have been lost to sight by darkness. 
"Okay," Ellie stops, "Here we are."
"Where are we?" I ask "I can't see shit, I don't know where here is."
Ellie digs around in her pocket for her phone and turns on a flashlight and it reveals a small iron firepit that was cemented into a slab of concrete in the sand. She hands me her phone so I can keep the flash on her and she can see what she's doing. 
She pulls out some pages ripped out from her notebook "Can you hand me your lighter?"
My eyebrows furrowed, and I felt around in my pocket wondering if I even had one. I did, it had slipped my mind that I still had the bic lighter that I confiscated from Peach Fuzz. I hand the lighter to her and watch as she tucks the pages beneath logs that were in the firepit before we arrive, they are somewhat charred but still viable.
She flicks the lighter to ignite it and the paper catches immediately. The initial flicker grew into a tentative blaze, licking at the edges of the kindling. The crackling sound echoed through the night. 
Once she is sure the fire can survive without her feeding it, she steps away. "Alright, let's have it out."
"Like sex?" I scrunch up my nose.
"Oh my god, no, like let's talk this through." She pinches her nose bridge, taking a breath in before exhaling and putting her hand back down "We're gonna recreate the night of the bonfire how it should've been," Ellie reached back into her bag and pulled out two white claws "I snagged these from Dina's party, sorry this was kind of last minute."
I can't help the smile that grows on my face, I take one of the white claws and crack it open "I don't know how authentic this is gonna be if there isn't any canned Smirnoff."
I think back to exactly how that night played out and I take a seat on the sand, facing the crashing dark ocean. I sip my white claw, as expected Ellie takes a seat next to me, just what happened on the actual night.
"Wow," She says "You look really pretty and I'm an idiot for ever saying you looked awful," Ellie looks gorgeous illuminated by the orange light of the fire, and the breeze causes her flyaway hairs to drift in the wind. "I'm an asshole for pretending that I didn't know you, I was scared I would get hurt again and take it to heart like I did last time. I promise the second we get home that I'll come clean."
I don't know if I can deal with this sugary philosophy. She's being so sweet that it's rotting my teeth.
"Ellie," I say gathering my thoughts, it was so hard being honest with my feelings, it felt like I would get hospitalized if I showed any emotion. "I was so in love with you in high school that it killed me, and I was terrified that my parents would throw me out well, they did- but that's why I pushed you away and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't regret it." 
The surprise on her face morphs into a soft smile "What about now?" she asks "Do you still love me?"
I shrug, it's honest "I dunno, but I think there's room to try."
She looks from me to the ocean and the way the moonlight glitters off the surface "What happened next?" Ellie toys with the tab of her drink "Did you hit me?"
"Yeah," I say softly, following her gaze out to the waters "But if we're doing the night how it should've been, I'd rather just kiss you."
Ellie turns her head back to look at me. She shoves her white claw into the sand then takes my face into one of her hands and kisses me like it's her job, so tender and carefully like she's afraid I will break beneath pressure.
How weak have I become? My heart is so full of her that I can hardly call it my own.
A/N: Be grateful for this ending because I was very tempted to give you guys an unhappy one. Sorry that I forgot to post this lol, I’m sad this series is over but excited to show you all my next one which may be the angst-iest yet 👀
Thanks for reading!
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mirai-e-jump · 2 months ago
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Animage October 2024 Issue Kamen Rider Gavv ft. Chinen Hidekazu & Sugihara Teruaki (translations below)
Publication: September 10, 2024
The Strange Sweets Kamen Rider
The 6th Reiwa Kamen Rider is the first ever to use a sweets motif! The cast and staff talk about the behind the scenes of the birth of the new hero who fascinates us with a gap between poppin visuals and its heavy filling!!
Having passed out due to hunger, Shouma, who comes from another world, was saved by a human boy named Hiroi Hajime. Shouma was in a difficult situation when he confronts the Granute, a monster who wants to kill Hajime, but when he "sets & eats" the familiar like creatures called Gochizo in the mouth on his stomach, he transforms into Kamen Rider Gavv and crushes the Granute. This was the beginning of Shouma's battle to protect humans.
The latest entry in the Kamen Rider series, "Kamen Rider Gavv" only just started in September. Despite the poppin imagery and visuals of sweets as its motif, this is a hard and serious drama that depicts the lonely battle of a young man named Shouma, who hides a grand past and mystery behind him.
This production features Takebe Naomi-san as the Producer, Sugihara-san as the pilot Director who determines the direction of the work, Komura Junko-san as Screenwriter, and Fujita Satoshi-san as Action Director, all of whom have worked on the Kamen Rider and Super Sentai series. In particular, Sugihara-san and Komura-san are the pair that gained attention for their work in "Kaitou Sentai Lupinranger VS Keisatsu Sentai Patranger" and the fans are expressing their expectations.
The story of a fierce battle between the sweets Kamen Rider and the Granute monsters has only just begun, so don't miss a moment of the birth of a new Kamen Rider legend! _
Chinen Hidekazu (Shouma)
The first transformation born from an extreme situation
-Supported by dependable friends and the Director-
"Please tell us your impression of the Kamen Rider series."
Chinen: For me, I've admired Kamen Riders since I was a child, and I love them so much that they're the first thing that comes to mind when people ask, "Who's your hero?" I've lived my whole life dreaming of becoming a Kamen Rider, so I was really happy when I was chosen to be Shouma.
"Are there any works that you find particularly memorable?"
Chinen: It's hard to pick a single work from my generation since I'm so attached to all of them, but……I think "Kamen Rider OOO" might be the one I was particularly enthusiastic about when watching. The dialogue between Hino Eiji and Ankh was interesting, and even as a child the ending made me think, so including its theme song, it's my favorite work. Lately however, I've been super into "Kamen Rider Den-O" (laughs). I'm watching it from the perspective of learning why it became so popular, but I also like Den-O because of Satoh Takeru's (who plays Nogami Ryotaro) amazing performance in which he plays multiple different personalities.
"What kind of person do you feel Shouma is?"
Chinen: I read the script so much that it felt like I was watching myself, as I thought that Shouma was so similar to me. We're very similar in the way that we're abit out of the loop, but also curious and get into the things that interest us. I was glued to the TV when I was a child, and I'd become so engrossed when watching it, that I couldn't even listen to what my mother was saying. However, I feel like I'm far removed from him in terms of his guts and inner strength, his desire to save people even at the risk of his own life, and his ability to fight the enemy. Playing the role of Shouma gives me energy and makes me aspire to be like him.
"We think another feature of this production is that right now, Shouma doesn't have a fixed place to stay, and that he comes into contact with a variety of people wherever he goes."
Chinen: I think alot of people are curious to see what happens next, as so far in Gavv, the story continues to be dominated by Shouma's easygoingness and the fact that we don't know what he's thinking. He seems to have a connection with Sachika-san, who he met in episode 2, so what happens to them in the future is a big point to watch out for!
"Please tell us your impressions of Sachika and the person who plays her, Miyabe Nozomi-san."
Chinen: Miyabe-san is a very refined person, so when we first met at script reading, I was shocked and said, "This person's gonna be a gyaru?!" (laughs). One of the things I like about Miyabe-san is that her mannerisms show the quality of her upbringing, but the more we talked, she really started to look like a gyaru, and I felt that performing together with her was amazing. Sachika-san leaves a strong impression of being a gyaru, but on the inside, she's a stable girl who's able to understand the feelings of others. Seeing her say with a refreshing smile, "I think it's good for everyone to be happy," Shouma respects her and thinks, "She's such a wonderful person" and "I want to be like her," almost like she's the embodiment of peace. When I read the script, I always feel supported and say, "Sachika-san, thank you."
"Shouma's brother sister like relationship with her is also very interesting."
Chinen: Director Sugihara Teruaki said to me, "It's like a dog and his owner" (laughs). Still, I think that Sachika-san's all encompassing kindness, and Shouma's simple mindedness are a great combination, and we're also playing the roles with confidence.
"He's yet to interact with Shouma, but we think the role Hanto plays will also be another highlight to look forward to."
Chinen: In some ways, Hanto is also easygoing, but he's the compassionate, hot blooded type, and he too lives by carrying something on his back. I hope you'll look forward to seeing how Shouma and Hanto, who are completely different types of people, interact with each other and what they'll think of each other in their first meeting. Hino Yusuke-kun, who plays Hanto, is the mood maker who makes the set feel relaxed, which is a gap between him and Hanto, but I feel that we're similar in our passion for the production and performance, and the way we put our all into something. To me, Hino-kun is a rival but also like a reliable big brother, and we often consult with each other and visit each other's houses (laughs).
"What were your impressions of Director Sugihara, who also directed the first two episodes as the pilot Director?"
Chinen: As I had no experience in acting, Director Sugihara is a respected teacher who taught me how to perform from the ground up, including how to read the script, and he's like a father figure from Tokyo. He understands each actor's personality and gives them advice accordingly, and he's an amazing person who draws out our potential, so every time I'm on set, I feel happy to film under Director Sugihara. He's a Director I really love.
"Before filming, it seems that you and the Director practiced vocalization together."
Chinen: Yes, even before I could act, my voice wouldn't come out (laughs). I'm really grateful that he took time out of his busy schedule to watch me one on one, and it was an important turning point that led to something changing in me. I want to grow so that people will feel that I'll have changed over the coming year, and one of my goals is to give an inspiring performance that'll be recognized by Director Sugihara with, "You gave it your all."
-Aiming to be as cool as Nawata-san-
"Kamen Rider Gavv, who Shouma transforms into, has a motif based on gummies and other sweets."
Chinen: When I saw the illustration depicted in the proposal, I thought it was incredibly simple, however, my opinion changed when I saw it in person. The armor on the chest and shoulders have a gradient so that it shines beautifully when light hits it, and there's a playful gimmick where a squishy dent will form when it's pressed, so a bunch of detail has been carefully put into it. I'm now so attached to it, that I can't think of anyone else but Gavv. Personally, what I want you to pay attention to the most are the feet. The feet are actually clawed, and this slightly animal like aspect is an important element of the show, so I'd be happy if you make sure to pay attention to the feet as well.
"What's your impression of Nawata Yuya-san, Gavv's Suit Actor?"
Chinen: Nawata-san is an actor who I shape Shouma together with, and he's an indispensable person to me, as I'm able to talk to him about problems that I can't talk about with the other cast members or the Director. He also taught me about acting, like how to create the mood and how to read the script. I'm grateful to Nawata-san's action, as I think Gavv's appeal has tripled, and I feel like the show itself has also become more brilliant.
"Does that also get you enthusiastic about the post transformation dub recording?"
Chinen: That's right. The recording process is more difficult than normal acting because you have to use only your voice to express your emotions and fight scenes in accordance with the footage. In episodes 1 and 2, I had to rerecord so many times that I lost the strength in my voice, and it took twice as long as the planned time (bitter smile). As well as the performances of my seniors in the Kamen Rider series, I also studied the game "Street Fighter" based on the advice of Director Sugihara, and now I feel like I'm getting by. I'll work more diligently to make Nawata-san's performance 120% more appealing with my voice performance, and to become a Shouma who's just as cool after his transformation into Gavv.
"One of the real thrills of the Kamen Rider series are the transformation scenes, but how did you create the pose?"
Chinen: The transformation pose was decided through a discussion between myself, Action Director Fujita Satoshi, Director Sugihara, and Nawata-san. It's a movement that involves rotating your arm, but the final version, which we created after discussing the angles and timing with everyone to make sure it looked cool and appealing, is the transformation pose used in episode 2. Depending on the story, he could transform quickly, so I hope people watch the way he changes based on the situation.
"In the episodes up to this point, the action leading up to the first transformation in the first episode is a scene that can't be ignored when talking about Shouma. There was some action involving wires, and we were also impressed by his performance as he was gradually being cornered by the Granute."
Chinen: That scene was prepared weeks before the shoot, as Director Sugihara and Action Director Fujita came up with a really cool direction. The scene where Shouma is beaten was especially important to give depth to the reason for his transformation, as it took two days to film. In the end, it was in the most extreme situation I had ever experienced in my life, my performance came out unconsciously, and I was complemented with, "Your facial expressions were very good." I could've never done it on my own, the scene was made possible by the advice of Director Sugihara and Nawata-san, who worked beside me, and by all the staff members who created an environment that allowed me to concentrate on my performance.
"It makes us want to go back and pay attention to the expressions on your face. Finally, please tell us your goals throughout filming of Kamen Rider Gavv."
Chinen: I'd like to learn alot about action from Action Director Fujita, Nawata-san and everyone else on the Action Team, and I'd like to improve my acting skills. I've never been in an environment where I could spend an entire year with people who are so good at captivating others, and I don't think it'll ever happen again in the future. I hope to make full use of this experience so that in the next year, I can be an actor who can do it all, from acting to action and recording, so I'll do my best to do what's in front me!
Director Sugihara Teruaki
The vibrant world Shouma comes across
-A dark story with colorful visuals-
"When did you first hear that you'd be the pilot Director?"
Sugihara: I'm pretty sure it was around last Fall, when I was working on the drama, "Tokyo MPD: From Zero to Hero," I received a phone call from Producer Takebe Naomi-san who said, "I'd like to meet and talk with you at once." I heard from a separate matter that Takebe-san would be in charge of the next Kamen Rider, and at the time, I thought I was going to be the second Director, but when I met her, she said, "You're the pilot Director." (laughs).
"At the stage when Director Sugihara joined, how much of the content in the show was decided on?"
Sugihara: Aside from the sweets and monsters motif, we'd yet to decide on the content of the story and the personalities and relationships of the characters. In the beginning, we were a small group consisting of the Producer team's Takebe-san and Takishima Minami-san, Screenwriter Komura Junko-san, and myself. Our three parties worked out the content by sharing ideas from our respective perspectives.
"What specific ideas did Director Sugihara have in mind? Personally, we felt that the visuals of the characters, including their costumes, incorporated the Director's ideas."
Sugihara: You can assume that I'm basically in charge of visual aspects like the impression and fashion. For Shouma's fashion in particular, during the rather early stages, I'd draw an illustration and say, "How about something like this?," and I'd have them look at it while I created his character.
"Not just Shouma's clothes, but also the interior of Hapipare is rich in color, so much so that it's unusual for the Kamen Rider series."
Sugihara: I told artist Fukuzawa Katsuhiro that I wanted to make the visuals as bright and pop as much as possible. Kamen Rider Gavv itself isn't meant to be a continuation of the "ism" seen in the first generation of Kamen Rider, but it includes themes like family conflict and Shouma's sad separation from his mother, so the content is heavy. Because of this, we made the impression of the colors vivid, and were careful to not make them too dark. Moreover, being in the human world for the first time, Shouma's a kid who's impressed by everything he sees, so I was conscious of the world captured from Shouma's point of view and to use rather flashy colors. Conversely, the Granute World and Stomach Family use muted colors, or to just say it outright, they have dirty colors.
"What do you value in your expression of Shouma, the main character?"
Sugihara: I wanted to depict Shouma as a pure kid, someone who suddenly comes to the human world and finds everything he sees as fresh. On the inside, he's not much different from Hajime, who he first meets in the human world, in fact, he's much more of a child than that kid. So he ponders over what he's been told, hurt by the casual mention of "monster" and afraid of hurting others, he's unable to be together with someone else, so he leaves Hajime and Sachika and goes elsewhere. However, I didn't want to make it too dark, so it was hard to depict (laughs). While he carries a dark side, I want him to be a kid who's always smiling when he's with someone, even if he has to force himself to smile.
"This Shouma is beautifully embodied by Chinen Hidekazu-san."
Sugihara: The best thing about Chinen-kun is that he looks great on camera. That's the kind of talent an actor has. Also, the expressions on his face when he eats are really good. Even though he's eating food he usually sees all the time, he eats it like it's a delicacy, looking as if he's eating something he's never seen before and is impressed. In that sense, I think he was the right choice to play Shouma. Still, since this is roughly his first performance, he had to start from a place where he couldn't express his emotions properly, and to begin with, he couldn't even vocalize. I had Chinen-kun stand on one end of Toei's rooftop, and I stood on the opposite end and had him deliver his lines. I gave him relentless acting instruction from the very beginning (laughs). Filming started earlier than usual, so we've already shot several episodes, and I feel that he can now stand proudly in front of the camera as Shouma. With each episode his performance and facial expressions are getting better and better. I have high expectations for his growth over the next year.
-Dedicated action that make the most of the motif-
"We felt that the vibes of Gavv's everyday scenes were different from that of previous Kamen Rider series, but was there anything you were conscious of in your direction?"
Sugihara: In my mind, I had a bright, pop like feeling, but during filming, Chinen-kun……it was important to me how to capture Shouma and the human world from his point of view. I may have only been thinking, "How can I get a good shot of him?"
"In that sense, it's interesting to think that the entire production is being pulled along by Shouma and Chinen-san."
Sugihara: That's right. This is especially true for the first episode, as the story unfolds from Shouma's point of view, so I was conscious of the fact that I wanted to bring the viewers perspective as close as possible to Shouma's.
"Despite the battle scenes also having a fancy sweets motif, from the very first episode, we were taken back by the intense physical battle depicted between Gavv and the Granute."
Sugihara: I'm pretty sure it was Action Director Fujita Satoshi who put out the idea of a serious fistfight at a container warehouse, and with sword fighting in a narrow space. We specified the colors and placement of the containers, and asked the people on location to arrange them accordingly. From there, Fujita and I talked in detail about the composition of the action, and we put it together by discussing the angles while adding in our own ideas as we filmed on site.
"We heard that you and Fujita-san worked closely together to create this."
Sugihara: I also like action quite abit, so I tell Fujita various things like, "Do this sort of thing." Naturally, Fujita has alot of things he wants to do as well, so the two of us are working together to come up with ideas for action sequences and angles.
"Including Gavv's own actions, the way he fights while "eating" the Gochizo is unique."
Sugihara: It was decided in advance that the transformation items Gochizo would appear alot like that of "Pikmin" and "Minions," so I thought it'd be better to use alot of them. Because of that, when Gavv takes damage, his armor breaks and he'll eat the Gochizo one after another……we're calling it "follow up sweets," and I think it'd be interesting to keep changing sweets and repair them as he fights.
"The standard Poppingummy Form has flexible armor, while Zakuzakuchips Form's sword weapon can easily break depending on how it's used, and the use of sweets as a motif was also visually enjoyable."
Sugihara: Inspiration for the action comes from discussions that are almost like casual conversations. I thought about how things like thin baked snacks such as potato chips might be weak to side attacks (laughs). Also, unlike other Kamen Riders, we don't use bullet impacts on Gavv when we depict him being hit (mechanism that detonates gunpowder that's attached to the performer). In his setup, the armor is derived from sweets generated by his own body, so we tried to create the effect of small bead like things flying around him. During filming, we've been throwing beads into the air from the side of the camera. In that sense, it may have a new visual feel.
"What scenes from episodes 1 and 2 were particularly powerful?"
Sugihara: In terms of taking the most time, I'd say it was before the transformation in the first episode. When I was thinking about Shouma's human image, Takebe-san said, "I don't want him to be a hero who fights just because he has powers." You don't fight just because you have the power to become a Kamen Rider, there's a will to fight, and that's where the power comes in. I wanted to create an image of a hero who's able to transform into Gavv because it's Shouma. Since the time of the script meeting, we had talked about how we wanted to portray a different kind of strength from that of the everyday Shouma, who keeps going despite being beaten up by someone he can't even stand up to. On set, Chinen-kun and I worked together to find out why Shouma was feeling that way, and we worked on his facial expressions and gestures one by one, and I was quite persistent throughout filming. We were supposed to film the transformation scene in one day, but we took too long and didn't get to the transformation, so I had to apologize to the staff (laughs).
"Finally, please tell us your enthusiasm for the future."
Sugihara: Honestly, I have no idea how Kamen Rider Gavv will conclude a year from now, but I want to make a show that'll make people who watched it think, "Gavv was interesting." For this reason, I'd also like to delve deeper into Shouma and Hanto, and Sachika and the others characters, and to make each of them appealing. I'm sure that Komura-san will come up with some great developments (laughs), and for my part, I hope that I can take advantage of that, and as the pilot Director for the first time in a long time, to create images that people watching in their living rooms have never seen before.
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leilohsstupidgaystuff · 25 days ago
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Erik knew there was going to be trouble, when he saw the shit-eating grin of his son, who came towards him.
"Sooo... I heard you're in love with my favourite professor?"
Well... fuck. On the inside, Erik slammed his head against the nearest wall. On the outside his expression remained as cold, as it was before Peter had spoken way too loud about his annoying secret. "I have really not the slightest idea, what you're talking about."
Much too Eriks displeasure Peters grin didn't fade, if anything at all, it just got wider. "You know you're not the only one here anymore that talks german, do you?"
Erik didn't answer to this. He was aware of Peters new friendship and he really hoped this conversation wouldn't go as he feard it would.
"And if, let's say you confess your undying love to your 'old friend' in german, so he doesn't understand you, a little blue elf might overhear you and tell his new, really good looking best friend," Peter pointed at himself. "just how adorable his father actually is."
Erik glared at him. The conversation actually went exactly as he had feard. "I don't know what Kurt thinks he heard, but you're talking nonsense."
Peter met his glare with a smile. "You know, this, normaly really scary, look only works, if you're eyes aren't filled with panic. I know you're down bad for the professor."
"What do you want, Peter?"
"You know, as disgusting I think this all is -I mean, you two are really fucking old-"
"Charles just turend 40."
"My point still stands, also: Notice how you didn't talk about your age?" The raised eyebrow of Erik still scared him. "As disgusting this all is, you are way more relaxed around him and things may get easier for me and all of your classes, if you two just get it over with and fuck."
Peter already ducked, before the little metal toycar, some younger student lost in the hallway, hit his head.
"What did I do too deserve you as a son?" Peter opend his mouth to answer, but Erik shut him up with a gesture of his hand. "Don't answer that, it was a rethorical question. I know."
"So you're going to ask him out, or what?"
Erik looked at him like he was mad. "First of all: lower your voice, or I will make sure Logan will make you read your homework out loud the next lesson. Second of all: No, I will not."
Peter raised his eyebrows. "What are you waiting for? Another 20 years to pass by? You know being gay is legal now? Or is dating in your age just really slow? Do you know how to date? Did you ever? Do you-"
"Shut up. I will not embarrass myself in front of Charles and destroy our friendship, by telling him how I... feel."
Peter just looked at him for a few seconds and than bursted out laughing. "You think the prof sees you as a friend? The dude, that talks about you all the time in his lessons, with the biggest hearteyes in the universe? Also isn't the whole story of you two, just a big romantic drama? You know, the pessimistic one with the shitty backstory meets the optimistic one with the big heart, fucks up really bad, but still is being forgiven, because how of much in love the other one is?"
"He talks about me in his lessons?," Erik asked. He had not really paid attention to the other stuff Peter's been saying. Peter looked slightly disgusted. "Oh my god, you're really patheticly in love with him, aren't you?"
Peter looked over Eriks shoulder and the look on his face, already told Erik he was going to do something, that Erik really wouldn't like. "Hey, Prof!"
Erik turned around and saw Charles in the hall, now coming towards them. He looked back at Peter, who would be dead now, if looks could kill, but before he could yell at him, Charles already reached them.
"Good morning, you two." Erik smiled at him, panicking on the inside, as he saw how Peter already started speaking with a very suspicious grin. "Hello Professor, my father and I were just talking abou you. In fact he told me, that he wanted to ask you something very important." The smile on Eriks face faded and his panic started to show on the outside. "I have no idea what he's talking about," he said, way to quickly, to Charles who looked at him now with these goddamm beautifull blue eyes, giving him his full attention.
Enjoying himself, Peter didn't drop the topic. "Oh yes he does. The question goes something like 'Do you have plans this evening?'" Charles smiled amused. "I don't... What's happening here?," he asked turning to Erik again. Erik couldn't even do or say anything, before Peter talked again, so he just put a hand over his face and hoped to just die on the spot.
"My father would like to ask you out, professor. As in a date. A real date not as friends, because he's super in love with you, and I, and all the other students in this school, believe you too, are totally in love with him in return. Also it was nice seeing you, but I will go now, because I think I'm gonna get murderd if I don't." The next moment Peter wasn't there anymore.
Erik slowly lowerd his hand, meeting Charles eyes. Charles had turned a bit red, but he grinned at him. "So you're super in love with me?" Erik let out a small pained laugh. "Shut up." Charles grinned even wider. "Meet me at 7 at the front door?" "Yes, please."
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libraryofloveletters · 7 months ago
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Bound By Fate
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Jenson Button x Fem!Teammate Reader
series summery: the strings of life connect two people; teammates, friends, perhaps lovers. Even when you think you’ve gotten rid of him, the strings of life pull you back in. some things are just meant to be. 
author's note: this was prompted by god knows what but this is my new passion project. jenson girlies, this one is for you. shoutout to @mev33 for losing her mind over this with me <333
bound by fate taglist!
chapter one: united front
attached at the hip, jenson button and y/n l/n are the unstoppable duo. the same soul in two bodies. all but 4 points separating them. // “where you go, I go. What you see, I see. I know I’d never be me without the security of your loving arms, keeping me from harm. Put your hand in my hand and we’ll stand.” - Skyfall by Adele
chapter two: time cast a spell on you
spending nine months with someone is a long time, especially when you’re forced to be with them. feelings grow, both good and bad.  - “Time cast a spell on you but you won’t forget me. I know I could have I loved you but you would not let me. I’ll follow you down ‘till the sound of my voice can haunt you. Oh give it just a chance. You’ll never get away from the sound of a woman that loves you.” - Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac  
chapter three: the blame is on you
two mclarens spin out, drivers at each other’s throat but only one’s to blame. what’s said on track doesn’t always stay there. - “It’s my own design, it’s my own remorse. Help me to decide, help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure, nothing ever lasts forever. Everybody wants to rule the world.” - Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tear For Fear 
chapter four: no grace
jenson can’t take it anymore; the back stabbing, the betrayal. he did what he thought was best and left. on what was supposed to be the happiest night of y/n’s life, she’s heartbroken and upset. — “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace, so the battleships will sink beneath the waves. You had to kill me, but it kills you just the same. Cursing my name, wishing I stayed. You turned into your worst fears and you’re tossing out blame, drunk on this pain. Crossing out the good years and you’re cursing my name, wishing I stayed.” -  My Tears Ricochet by Taylor Swift 
chapter five: the final tango
y/n and jenson find themselves front and centre, smiling for the cameras in their sunday bests, yet their hearts are in different places. - “it hurts to be something, it’s worse to be nothing with you. I’ve done the math, there’s no solution. We’ll never last. Why can’t I let go of this?” -  Promise by Laufey 
chapter six: secrets of us
when all is said and done, it’s never really over, is it? jenson spills far too much in a tell-all interview that back fires on both he and y/n. - “And you don’t seem to understand, a shame you seemed an honest man. And the fears you hold so dear will turn to whisper in your ear. And you know what they say might hurt you and you know that it means so much, and you don’t even feel a thing.” -  Duvet by Bôa
chapter seven: a chapter of me
four long years have passed, both y/n and jenson are in different places of life but they find themselves at Silverstone, together once again. jenson’s a commentator and y/n’s still a racer. seems the dust has settled. - “Just wanna let this story die, and i’ll be alright. We can’t be friends, but I’d like to just pretend. You cling to your papers and pens, wait until you like me again.” -  We Can’t Be Friends by Ariana Grande 
chapter eight: a glimpse into the past
people come and go, life moves on; that has always been your view. you can’t move on when your past comes back to haunt you. -  “So I ask myself, do I let you go or do I keep you in the frame of my mind? Now I’m growing wise to your sugar coated lies, nothing’s sweet about my misery. Yeah, I finally found what went wrong, i finally found the wrong in you.” - On My Mind by Jorja Smith
chapter nine: twelve steps forward, one step back
the final race of your life, mixed emotions truly. your career was one out of a movie, you’re waiting for the final shoe to drop and when it does, it hits you hard. - “Isn’t it strange? I am still me, you are still you, in the same place. Isn’t it strange how people can change from strangers to friends, friends into lovers, and strangers again?” - Strange by Celeste
epilogue - chapter ten: the last bow
life post retirement is a funny thing, you thought you’d be having fun but you’re bored out of your mind. a solo trip results in seeing a ghost from your past.  -  “I'm sure we're taller in other dimension, you say we’re small and not worth a mention. You’re tired of movin’, your body’s achin’. We could vacay, there’s places to go. Clearly this isn’t all that there is, can’t take what’s been given. But we’re so okay here, we’re doing fine.” - White Ferrari by Frank Ocean 
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ghostsandfools · 3 months ago
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Solar and Lunar's Relationship is so Underrated
Alright. I already typed out like a whole essay about this in one of my friends dms (I am so sorry you had to read all that-) but I decided to post an even LONGER essay here! Because I can :]
Solar and Lunar are just... Just the best. I love them. SO MUCH.
Lunar:
Lunar was the first person that Solar met from the main dimension. Lunar was obviously terrified of Solar at first, considering he looked and sounded just like Eclipse, but I love how Solar treats him when they first meet. He says "I don't know how anyone could hate you" and "I know I'm not your Eclipse. but you're not a mistake" and is just super sweet in general. It's been a while, but I recommend y'all go back and watch that episode, it's "What if Eclipse isn't evil?! In VRCHAT" and it's genuinely so so adorable.
It took a while for Lunar to get used to Solar, but Solar was patient with him the whole time and I love that. He understood why Lunar was scared of him and was just as sweet as possible until Lunar could feel comfortable around him.
One thing I think is interesting is that when Lunar went in Solar's head, he saw the memory of Solar killing his Moon. I don't think he saw the exact moment when Solar shot him, but from the fact that Solar was still alive and had never told anyone about it, he could probably infer what happened. He knows it happened, but he never held it against him. He never told anyone, he never blamed Solar or called him a murderer, because at that point he knew he wouldn't hurt someone without a reason. He knew Solar was trustworthy.
I think it's nice how their friendship was developed more in the background. Solar and Moon were always 'the besties', always spending time together, working on projects together, and it was the same way with Earth. But even though Solar and Lunar never spent as much time with each other, I feel like they understood each other better than anyone else. Their friendship was special, even if it wasn't as prominent.
When Lunar killed Eclipse, Solar showed him the same patience and care and kindness that he's always shown. Earth was scared of him, Gemini was angry at him, but Solar understood exactly what he was going through, because he'd been there once himself. And just like Lunar didn't judge him, he never judged Lunar.
Solar:
In his home dimension, Solar didn't really have anyone that he could trust. His Moon and Sun BOTH died. In the episode he was introduced in, he explained that during the separation or sometime after, his Moon passed away, and the version we saw who tried to kill him was a copy of his Moon with the same memories. I wonder if that's why he's so unwilling to except what happened to Nexus, because he's seen it all before. And I wonder if maybe this will become a pattern, and what happened to his Sun will end up happening to ours?
Anyways. Solar had to come to the main dimension because his Moon tried to kill him and scrap him for parts and was just being an abusive asshole in general. It does remind me of Eclipse and Lunar. Solar was just a byproduct to his Moon, a useless machine he could use for extra labor, and when Solar wasn't useful to him anymore, he tried to scrap him for parts, desperate to get back his Sun, his star. In a way, I think Solar sees himself in Lunar. That's why they understand each other so well.
When Solar killed his Moon, he didn't tell anyone. I really wonder if that'll ever get brought up again, because he and Lunar have both been hiding it for so long. I can't imagine the guilt he'd feel afterwards, even if it was justified.
I'm going to talk about self harm now, so if you're sensitive to the topic, just scroll past this pink section.
Now, this might be me projecting, because i used to self harm and in a way, I see myself in both Lunar and Solar. But I can see the signs in both of them. Both of them, at this point, have got to have some kind of self worth issues. Constantly being told you're worthless is going to critically damage your self esteem, and it's clear that it's taken some kind of toll on them.
Solar is always working, constantly, and I think that's for two reasons. The first it to distract himself, of course, but i wonder if he's trying to prove himself. He wants to prove to his family that he IS worth something and that they don't need to punish him or scrap him for parts because he IS useful.
And Lunar is the same way. He hasn't shown as many signs, but he's had a lot of pressure on him since he came back. He feels like he has to be good with his powers, to keep both him and his family safe. He has quite literally got the entire world on his shoulders, with Rez threatening him and Taurus threatening him and worst of all, the looming threat that Gemini will probably never speak to him again if he can't master his powers, that's A LOT.
They're both dealing with a lot, and being constantly overwhelmed like that can drive a person to hurt themself. It's more of a headcanon with Lunar, but I could see it being canon for Solar. Like in one of the recent episodes where he was talking to Jack and said "Break the habit Solar- I mean, break the habit Jack!" I wonder if that's what he could be referring to? Idk, let me know what you think.
Okay, I'm done talking about that now. Anyways. When Solar died, Lunar didn't really react. Earth screamed and cried, Nexus went insane, but Lunar didn't really react. And looking at things from a surface level, you could say it's because he and Solar weren't as close, but i don't think that's really true. Lunar said he didn't really feel strongly about it, but how could he? With how much trouble his own emotions cause him in the past, how could he possibly? Maybe he didn't want to lose control of his powers again, maybe he didn't want Earth to be scared of him again. And everyone around him was already so sad, he needed to be stable so they didn't have to worry about him too. But just because he didn't have an outwards reaction, that doesn't mean he didn't care. That doesn't mean he didn't grieve, it doesn't mean it didn't effect him.
Sadly, we haven't seen Lunar's reaction to Solar's return yet, because youtube decided to chaunce around and be stupid, but I'm excited to see how he feels about the whole thing.
I have a little theory/prediction for you all before I end things off. Lunar got star power because he was rebuilt in space. Eclipse's lab was apparently next to the sun.... Maybe Solar will get star power as well? It would make sense, why should he not? He was rebuilt in space as well. It would be dumb if he didn't. Their lives are very parallel to each other after all, even their names.
Anyways. That's enough chauncing about from me, I've got to get to school. But let me know what you guys think! Are Solar and Lunar best duo 2024? Will Solar get star powers? Will the be fire themed and cool as fuck if he does? Does Solar is gay??????? I guess we'll have to wait and find out.
(Jesus Christ, you are DEDICATED, I don't know how you made it this far. If i saw a tumblr post this long, I would not have the patience to read it, you get a gold star for coming all this way ⭐)
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victoria-grimesss · 10 months ago
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can you write the group in bg3 teasing Tav for going around in circles, not being able read a map and going one way only to immediately go the other way? :D
Map-Reading is Hard for Tav :( masterlist This one was so fun to write! Enjoy :)
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"This is pointless, I've seen us pass that rock at least a dozen times now!" Astarion is exasperated, leaning dramatically against it.
"This is true, not many times have I encountered the same terrain, oh look, it's that goblin I killed just a few hours back."
"Okay, Lae'zel you are not helping." You turn the map once then twice, flipping it each way before turning it back again.
"I'm truly concerned with how you got around before the Nautiloid." Shadowheart looks pleasantly amused at this whole scene, and poor Karlach and Gale are just trying to help in any way they can.
"Alright, I think I've got it, if we just go this way we'll definitely get there I'm sure of it." You're still chipper despite the number of times you've walked in a circle.
Astarion scoffs, "By all means, go right ahead I will wait right here, I doubt you'll make it that far, might as well save myself the trip, my shoes are looking worse for wear."
"Yes, scurry along istik, with your poor map-reading skills we may all reach ceremorphosis by the time you come back. Why don't you lend the map to someone more traveled?"
Your brow is furrowed tightly trying to make sense of the landscape and which path leads where, "No. no. I've got this, I just need to go- wait, yes this way!"
"Well, I'll come with you just so you don't walk yourself off a cliff soldier." Karlach's never-ending enthusiasm sure spurs you on, with a hearty clap on the back from her and a pained look from Gale you're on your way again.
"I certainly could take a look at it if you want?"
"I've got this Gale!"
"I question that."
You think you've got it this time, rounding a corner and certainly somewhere new to get you right to...
"Welcome back."
"It seems the tadpole has scrambled your brain rather violently, now I had some time to sharpen my sword but I've grown sick of standing around, let someone else take the map."
"Gladly!" Your mouth is agape as Gale snatches the map turning it right side before directing everyone on the right path.
"It's alright soldier, if we ever encounter a place where we need to go in a circle I'll be sure to let you lead the way, who knew a wizard would be better at a map than you huh?" With her arm slung over your shoulder, you trudge along.
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vickytaa · 1 month ago
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The silence"
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Summery: You had a boyfriend who didn't care at all. You have been fighting with it for a long time, but you couldn't do more.
warnings: please don't read this if you are a sensitive person.
an: heyy, I've been on a sad mood lately, so this is what I brought up :)
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October 13th
"Tom, yesterday you said you could go out with me today. It's our anniversary, what's wrong with you?" I complained.
"I'm sorry, babe, it's just that Emily is not feeling well," Tom said.
"But you've been with her the whole week!" I said as tears began to appear in my eyes.
"I've been here alone, just waiting for you and all you do when you are here it's just to stay in bed and talk with or about Emily all day."
"Babe, I am really sorry."
"No, you are not. If you really were, you would stay with me toda-" I get interrupted by his vibrating cell phone.
*'Emilyy' calling*
"I'm sorry but I need to go with her."
I started crying as I watched him leave. I couldn't believe that he really did that. He just left me alone. All because of her stupid best friend.
I loved Tom, and I still do, but I can't live with the thought that he might love her best friend more than me. All I wanted was for him to give me what I gave him. Just wanted passion from him.
He may not do it on purpose, but every time her name appears in the conversation, it feels like a stab in my heart.
☆☆☆
Hours pass by, and there's not a single sign of Tom. My heart beats with pain, and my soul feels empty.
Why did he leave?
The room is full of silence. A silence that could represent my deep loneliness.
Tears fall on my cheeks incessantly.
And all I could think of was if I would ever be enough.
I'm always trying my best to keep Tom satisfied, letting him come and go whatever state I'm in. But whenever I brought her up, he would tell me I was paranoid.
10:16 pm
Matty
Hey, I heard that Tara it's doing a party tonight. Wanna go?
y/n
hi. sorry, not today.
Matty
what?
you always want to go out with me.
Is everything ok?
y/n
I don't wanna talk right now.
*seen*
I sighted deeply as I sink in the sofa, trying so hard not to go to the bathroom and get my scissors.
But the guilt killed me. I wasn't enough for anyone. I never will. All my love and patience are unappreciated. I'll just have to accept it and live with it. But I couldn't. It's not worth fighting for love if they couldn't show it to you.
I sat on the bathroom floor with the scissors in my left hand, and my right arm extended.
I knew it wouldn't change anything.
But I felt like nothing.
I've always cared about the people around me. But, who cared about me?
All I wanted was to leave. I didn't want to be anyone else, I just wanna leave this fucking world.
My left hand is moving nearer my right one while I cry.
I was about to cut myself when my phone buzzed.
*New message*
I tried to get the tears out of my face so I could see my phone's screen well.
Matty
Y/n I know that you might not answer my messages, but I just wanted to let you know that I love you.
Text me if you see this.
I tried to text him that I loved him too and tell him that he was the reason why I didn't want to leave, but it was too late. Suddenly, the room started to feel smaller. The lights went darker.
And the pain started to disappear.
I tried to send the message, but my fingers didn't move.
My eyes started to close, but I didn't want to, I just couldn't do anything about it.
I didn't feel anything, but at the same time, I was burning alive.
It was a nightmare, and everything was black.
5:44 am
I started to hear people talking about me, i knew it was about me because i heard my name, and an intense pain began to appear throughout my body.
But then, a familiar sense was covering me. Who was it? What happened?
As I opened my eyes slowly, I heard Matt crying.
"Wha-, whatt.. what happened?" I try to form a sentence successfully while my whole body is hurting.
"Y/n?" Matt whispered. "Y/n?!" Are you ok? Oh my god, I was so scared. "
He cared.
All I could think was that he cared.
I try to look for anything familiar besides Matt, but everything looks like I was in the hospital. And I was right.
Matt's blue eyes, a bit red because he had cried a little, found mine. I felt like he knew how I felt. What I experienced.
The only thing I did was hug him.
It was the cure of every pain.
He was it.
As we slowly go back to our initial places, I lay my head on the headboard, staring at him with pain.
I didn't do this on purpose. In fact, I didn't do anything.
But I knew Matt was scared of losing me, as well as I was losing him. But I thought it was the cure for everything and everyone. And it wasn't.
"I love you," I whispered
"I love you more y/n."
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mellozheist · 5 months ago
Note
Hi guess who got no sleep last night (thanks doctor's appointment) and decided to watch your animatic again
I quote myself about 1 hour ago in a treebark channel on a discord server my friends and I made (to anybody that reads this i am so sorry):
(Also I'm sorry if somebody's uncomfortable with swearing :'D)
"[Link]
I'm sorry I still can't handle this animation's existence peoples
I can't with it
I'm crazy
Like REN PUTTING HIS HEAD BACK ON AND CALMING DOWN MARTYN WHO'S PANICKING?????
REN BEING SO CALM AND THEN FUCKING CRAZY IN THE NEXT SHOT?????
FUCKING HELLO????
THE VERY FIRST FEW SHOTS WHERE MARTYN IS LOOKING AT REN BEING ALL EXCITED AND BLUSHING??????
THE END????????
THEM HAVING THEIR PINKIES WRAPPED AROUND???? I EVEN SENT MELLOZ AN ASK ABOUT THAT AND THEY TOLD ME "oh yeah they indirectly promised to see each other in the next life series :3" MELLOZ IS SINGLEHANDEDLY KILLING THE TREEBARK SHIPPERS WITH THIS ONE
MARTYN HOLDING REN'S HAND AND KISSING IT BEFORE DYING ALSO
GUYS I BEG
I CAN'T WITH THIS
I CANNOT
I AM UNABLE TO
Oh my gosh FCUKING REN PUTTING HIS HEAD BACK ON AND LOOKING AT MARTYN WITH THOSE DANG EYES
Guys I need to resist spamming this thing in here
But at the same time IT'S SOOOOOO TEMPTING
FUCKIN
LOOK AT IT
[Link]
GRIPPING MY HEAD FURIOUSLY
THIS WHOLE BEHEADONG SCENE
I JUST NOTICED REN'S NECK DOESN'T LIGN UP PROPERLY IN THE SHOT WHERE MARTYN KISSES HIS HAND
GUYS I'M INSANE
GIYS I'M INSANE
LOOK AT THISSSSSSS
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Furiously rattling the bars of my cell is that what it's called
Honestly I never thought I'd go insane over a ship called treebark
IT'S FUCKING BAUMRINDE IN GERMAN
BAUMRINDE IS SUCH A SILLY SHIP NAME ISTFG
I don't think I've ever loved an animatic thid much
I'VR NEVER LOOKED AT AN ANIMATIC SO CLOSELY
THE FACT THE FIRST SCENE IS SO SWEET AND THE SECOND ONE IS ALREADY REN BEING BEHEADED
I wish they won. I wish Ren or Martyn was the winner of 3rd Life
CAN'T I HAVE L8KE
A LITTLE FAIRY THAT MAKES MY WISHES COME TRUE?
C'MOOOOONNNNN [insert a bunch of screaming emotes here]
AGH I CAN'T
...what if i copied every single message and sent melloz this as an ask to show my appreciation
CUZ I SURE DO APPRECIATE THIS ANIMATIC
[Link]
WATCH THIS. WATCH. OBSERVE. NOW. I BEG.
I'VE WATCHED THIS FOR 5 TIMES IN A ROW NOW
I'M VERY SANE
I STILL CAN'T GET OVER REN'S NECK NOT ALIGNING PROPERLY
also the feather and the poppy but this is the treebark channel
Not
Not desert duo
I CAN'T
.........do i send this as an ask i am very sane i promise
One of my very favourite scenes though is the beheading scene, funnily enough
Me literally passing out when I see gore but not here cuz idk baumrinde <333333
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Also here
HIS NECK.
IS NOT.
ALIGNING.
Or what if it's his head falling off after death cuz he died and that determination is no longer there to keep dogwarts, causing his hesd to fall off
New headcanon i think
And I just noticed I watched this like 6 times now DESERVED THOUGH
Gonna watch it again
I love them so much
I love this animatic so much
Guys I can't
WAIT DID MARTYN'S EARS TILT DOWN IN THE REN DEAD SCENE
HOLD
WAIR YEAH
HIS EARS TILTED DOWN
I CAN'T
Somebody stop me
Actually no
Oh also the song choice IS PERFECT????????
WAIT REN'S PONYTAIL IS GONE IN THE LAST SCENE HIS HAIR IS OPEN
YAAAAAYYYYYY
Anywhoozles
[Link]
WATCH THIS.
I BEG
EVERYBODY THAZ DOESN'T IS MISSING OUT THIS IS SO COOL"
And with that, Melloz you're amazing, EVERYBODY WATCH THE ANIMATIC EVER >:D
I have so much fun reading this, It's like I'm in a theater seat watching this happen with 4D sound surrounding Lmaoooo
Thank you for sending this to me I really appreciate this <3333
I'm so happy you eating all the details I put in hehe
though the part where you describe Ren's neck as not aligning is probably just my error in art but that's also a really cool headcanon!
I might adopt that headcanon :d Like drawing Martyn carrying Ren's head
you really made my day Thank yooou :D
hope you get a good night sleep bud
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xetlynn · 9 months ago
Text
Twilight- Switch of Daylight: Chapter Eleven, Cliffs
(Alice x Reader x Jasper)
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[Ten] [Eleven] [Twelve]
Someone knocks on the truck door, startling me. I thought it was going to be Charlie but when it was Jacob instead, my eyebrows furrowed.
He opens the door and forces me to scoot over. I then look at the door to see Bella waving and then entering the house. "You apologized?" I asked, holding myself tightly. Not caring about anything else.
"Yes, and I need to apologize to you as well." He doesn't look me in the eyes as he says this. "It's fine Jake." I shrug it off but he disagrees.
"It's not fine. I didn't understand anything and immediately jumped on you. You're nothing like the Cullens." He says, I look up at him. "Jacob, the Cullens have done nothing to you." I cross my arms, "whatever, that's not the point of this talk. I should've never said those nasty things about you. Your situation... it's pretty serious and I'm sorry." He sincerely says in a soft tone. "I have another thing to bring up to you." He tells me and I nod for him to keep talking, bringing my knees up to my chest as I listened.
"Victoria, that red headed chick. You know she's after Bella-" "Yes I already knew that." I chuckled, "why?" My nose scrunches, confused on why he would bring something up I already obviously know.
"Well you know she's after you too right?" He asks, giving me a serious look and then I see in the forest line, Sam and Paul's wolves poking out. "Yeah, Laurent might've mentioned it." I look back to him, now tensed up from the conversation.
"I don't think it's to kill you though. I think she wants to trigger the curse." Jacob says, he's hesitant though. I think Sam fully explained everything to him for which I'm grateful but he should know I don't think I could ever truly trust him again. "Finish what James was trying to accomplish." I finish Jacob's words. Now thinking it all over. Before he turned me he said he wanted me to turn into a vampire so he could kill me and it would be permanent. But he didn't know if that was actually true.
"She figured out what James wanted to know." I sigh out, putting my head down.
He pulls me into his arms and I actually felt a tear pass my eyes, startling me but nothing that's supposed to make sense is anymore so I ignore it. "I'm scared, Jake." My body trembles as he holds me a little tighter.
"Hey, it's okay." He assures me, "we're gonna keep you safe." Even in the arms of Jacob all I can think about are Alice and Jasper.
The next day I decided to go hunting myself. I haven't gotten to do so in a while and I need to have enough strength to not react to other people's blood.
I'm not going to get into anything gory, of course attacking an animal I try to keep to a minimum due to the guilt I feel. Even if this is the better way I still hate doing this. Yeah, I ate meat as a human but I didn't have to do the killing to eat it. To my left I hear leaves rustling, almost scaring me until I realized it wasn't as close as I thought. Moments later a large body makes its way from the trees. I shake my head, smiling. "Hey Jake, Embry." I acknowledge the one behind him.
Jacob nods his head slightly, coming over to look at the animal I covered with leaves, then turning to look at me. "I uh, feel bad." I rub the back of my neck before wiping the blood from my mouth.
"Still on the search for Victoria?" I question as if I could understand them. I mainly go by body language. Embry huffs meaning they definitely still are. That was until we heard a laugh. Jacob gets in front of me and then we see a glimpse of red hair.
Jacob and Embry go after her as I stand there confused on if I should go help or not, then I remember I told Bella I'd meet her back at the house after hunting.
Racing home I get there to see Bella's truck gone. I begin to panic, using my speed ability to check around the house before thinking next of where she could be.
The guys weren't supposed to allow her to leave so most of them might be chasing after Victoria. I hurry up and  go to the Rez. Fuck, I don't know where she could be around here.
I run to Sam's house, banging on the door like a mad woman. It swings open and his face is furrowed.
"[Name], what happened?" I push past him in the house. "Where's my sister?" I look around, going into the kitchen then searching in other rooms. Only to bump into another woman.
"Sam, what's going on?" The woman asks, I push past her as well, going to go outside but Sam stops me.
"This is [Name], Bella's sister. And what's going on, why are you freaking out?" He questions me, I grow antsy, not wanting to answer him as I was just trying to find my sister. "[Name], what's going-" "Bella, where is she?" I glare at him. "You said you guys were gonna keep her safe, she was supposed to be at the house, where is she?" I start to grip back on his arm, visibly hurting him but I was not doing too goof. "It's okay, she was was just here." Sam attempts to calm me down.
"Yeah, she was looking for Jacob." The girl speaks up, I glance back at her. Then something comes back to me. The cliff. She wanted to cliff dive. "Thank you!" I point to the random woman I've never seen before.
Speeding out of the house, practically ripping my body out of Sam's grasp.
Arriving at the Cliff I look around, seeing Bella's truck parked. I hurry towards the water, Bella's body was falling to the water. "Bella no!!" I scream. She hit the ocean.
"Bella!" I cry out. Moments pass and then her body pops out. A huge relief settles in my body. Panic still over washed my face nonetheless. "Yes!" She laughs. Then a wave crashes over her, pulling her under the water. Without thinking I dive into the water once I hit the water I open my eyes, searching for Bella.
It takes longer than I liked but once I found her, her eyes were closed. I just barely grab her by her sleeve, once I have her I fix my grip to her waist. Swimming out of the water, making sure her head is above it.
Getting onto shore I try to remember what to do. I hear footsteps behind me as I begin CPR. "Oh my god, Bella." It was Jacob behind me, he gets down to his knees as well on the other side of her.
"Bella, please." I beg with her, dread entering my body. Jacob and I lift her torso up, hitting her back. Finally she spits out water.
"Bella!" "Bella can you hear us?" Jacob asks. "[Name]...? Jake?" She's attempting to focus on us, mainly staring at me. Sam stands behind us. "She'll be alright." He tells us, I stand up letting Jacob lecture her as mine will be far far worse.
I go over to Sam.
"Sorry..." I mutter. "Sorry?" His eyes widen slightly, surprised I'm talking to him to begin with. "For pushing past you, searching your house." I say, holding myself. Weirdly just now feeling the water drip from my clothes.
"Who was that girl?" I suddenly ask as he stayed silent after my apology. "That's Emily, Paul's imprint." He informs me.
I nod my head a little bit. "Oh," Was all I said in return before joining Bella and Jacob again.
"Get them home, I'm heading to the hospital, I'll meet you there!" Sam shouts over to Jacob who only nods in return. Sam jogs off.
"Why would you jump? Didn't you notice it's like a hurricane out here? You're lucky [Name] got here in time." Jacob turns back to my sister. "I know. It was stupid- Sam said hospital- someone's hurt?" She asks and then I realized what was said too and we both stare at him waiting for an answer.
"Harry Clearwater had a heart attack." He informs us. I close my eyes, knowing that's going to be heartbreaking for our dad. "Oh my god- does our dad know?"
"He and my dad are both over there." He says. "Will Harry be okay?"
"I don't know. Come on. I'll find you both something dry and drive you guys home." He tells us, helping my sister up. She then falls into my arms and we walk together as I hold her from the side.
Jacob both found us jackets but it was kind of irrelevant for me as I don't feel cold. Bella shivers though so Jacob pulls her close.
"Hundred and eight degrees over here." He smiles, she tucks herself further into him. "Must be nice, never getting cold." She says to the both of us, mainly to Jacob so I stay quiet. "It's a wolf thing." He shrugs it off. "It's a Jacob thing. You're just... warm." She compliments him. "Like the sun." He grins.
I roll my eyes from the subtle flirting he's trying to pull off. "Like the sun." Bella repeats him.
"Which like always comes back. You can count on me." He sincerely tells her. She only nods though. I feel her grow awkward. "There are other cool things about all this, like- I heal fast. Wanna see me stab my hand?" He jokingly messes with her. "Yeah, 'cause that would be fun." She sarcastically responds.
Jacob pulls the truck into our house. "So... this wolf thing's not all bad?" She changes the subject, I still decide to stay quiet. I feel tired almost which is weird but ignored like everything else has been. "It's better. Not that you know. But..." He grows quiet. "But..." She says, egging him on to continue. "It's just... comes so easily to me. More than the other guys."
"That's a good thing, isn't it?" She tilts her head.
"Maybe. Or maybe it makes me less human than the others." I notice him glance at me then back to Bella. It was quick, not exactly intentionally but I saw it.
"Sometimes I'm scared I might disappear, you know? Who I really am." Bella looks him directly in his eyes and this where I take it as a sign to get out of the truck.
They of course noticed it due to Bella's truck being so nosey but they continued with their conversation. I leaned against the truck, wanting to wait for Bella before I went into the house. I closed my eyes thinking about how Bella might not have made it. Moments later Bella opens her truck door but Jacob pushes her back into the trucking slamming her door before grabbing me and leading me back into the vehicle as well. "There's a bloodsucker out there." He says.
"Hey! Excuse me!" I motion to myself, I get a quick apology but then I notice the sense of another as well. "How do you know?" She questions. "He can smell us. Wolves and Vampires have distinct smells." I tell her.
"Yeah, and they reek. Sorry [Name] but it's true. And I'm getting you guys out of here." He pulls out of the driveway, whipping the truck around. "It's not Victoria!" I shout. And both Bella and I look in the driveway again. Realizing who it is. "Yeah, stop, it's not here!" Bella screams.
"Forget it." He shakes his head.
"It's Carlisle's car! They're here. Go back!" Bella orders him but he doesn't listen. "It's a trick-" He floors it so I take Bella, opening the door and jumping out causing Jacob to slam the breaks. I try to careg Bella bridal style, going to run off to the house but Jacob gets in front of us. I slowly put my sister back down. "Stop, you guys gotta come with me." He desperately says to us.
"It's okay. They're my friends." Bella argues. "Jacob something might be wrong if they're back." I plead with him. "Don't you get it? If a Cullen is back here, this is their territory. The Treaty says we can only defend our own lands." He explains to us.
"It's not a war." Bella disagrees. "It is. And you'll only be safe in La Push. I can't protect you here anymore." This isn't about me anymore. I'm only plus one because I'm Bella's sister.
"I don't need you to-" "You're about to cross a line." He cuts her off. "Only if you draw one." Bella states. We begin to move past him but he stops us. "I'm not letting you two do this." He says.
"You don't have a choice. We- I don't belong to you." She says, knowing it will hurt him, and it does. She sees it but she knows she can't take it back. He hands her the keys. "Bye, Bella. I hope you both don't die." Bella flinches from his words, he disappears in the woods. Leaving us in the road so I take the keys from her. Grabbing her arm so we can continue our way to the house.
But as we begins rustling noises start. She freaks out but I smell the scent of who it is and I instantly let Bella go. She screams though, stopping once she sees who it is. "Alice!"
"You're... alive." Alice seems confused. I stand back, completely silent at the sight of her. Bella hugs her. "Oh my god, Alice. You're here." Bella grins. "I heard voices- I didn't think it was you two but- you're alive." She repeats herself from the first time. "You keep saying that." Bella chuckles anxiously.
"I saw you- a vision of you- you jumped off a cliff. I knew I'd be too late but- Why the hell would you try to kill yourself?!" She suddenly grows angry. "I didn't I was cliff diving." Bella corrects her.
"Why?!"
"Um... fun?" Bella even questions it herself, knowing her answer isn't a good one. "That was fun for you." Alice looks her up and down. "Until I hit the water." She nods. "I have never met anyone more prone to life-threatening idiocy... and what is that hideous dog smell on the both of you?" Oh so she can acknowledge my existence.
"Oh, probably Jacob. He's kind of a werewolf."
Masterlist
A&J M.L.
I am sorry for the weird ending of this chapter. Also I obviously switched up Paul and Sam to go with my story lol.
Taglist: if you want to be added lmk!
@stevenandmarcslove
@steh-lar-uh-nuhs
@kisekihany
@aureliacorvina
@l3ejm
@marit332
@marsyay78
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starogeorgina · 11 months ago
Text
𝐖𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞
Paring: Hvitserk × reader
Warnings: None
1.01
“Whatever happens, my brothers will watch over you in my absence.”
Unintentionally, you pouted; you hated the idea of being apart from Hvitserk, but you understood why he was leaving with Bjon. “I can take care of myself.”
A mischievous smile appears on his face. “I know."
“I’ll miss you.”
“I miss you too.” Hvitserk brushes hair behind your ear before cupping your face. Sighing, he says, “I need you to promise me something.”
“Hmm.”
“Don’t get into any trouble.” Laughter passes your lips before you realize how serious he is. Hvitserk frowns. “I mean it. My brother’s always found a way of dragging you into problems that aren’t yours. I want to know my wife will be in one piece when I return to Kattegat.”
Your caring husband was being paranoid. You often found yourself between Ivar, Sigurd, and Ubbe’s spats, and almost always you took Ivar’s side. However, when it came to the sons of Ragnar fighting with others, you tended to stay out of it unless you felt it was absolutely necessary to get involved, or Hvitserk said otherwise.
“I will try my best, but I cannot make such a promise.”
Knowing this was possibly the last time you’d see each other for some time, Hvitserk kisses you passionately. You would truly miss him.
“Just behave while I’m gone.”
You sit on the dock beside Ivar, watching boats come in. Vikings from all over were coming to Kattegat to join the sons of Ragnar Lothbrok in seeking revenge for their father's death.
“Do you think Lagertha will join us?”
Ivar scoffs, “She told Ubbe she has many reasons to stay.”
You click your tongue and say, “Hmm, I suppose Kattegat is more important to her than a dead man.”
Ivar glares at you.
“What? I speak nothing but the truth. Lagertha had already lost Ragner, so she wouldn’t risk losing her throne so easily. You’ll need to find another way to convince her to leave Kattegat.”
The corners of Ivar’s lips pull slightly. “I say we kill her now. She will always be a threat to us, and at least then she will be out of the way.”
You pondered his words while twirling the knife in your hand. You understood his desire to kill the woman who stole his mother from him, but it wasn’t that simple. “If you kill her now, then a lot of the shield maidens in Kattegat will no longer join you in seeking revenge, nor will Bjorn. I say you get justice for Queen Aslaug’s death when we return.”
“So what? We just let Lagertha sit upon my mother's throne, free to do whatever she likes. She will stab us in the back as soon as she gets the chance.”
“That’s not what I was thinking.”
Ivar’s scowl turns into a smile. “I imagine whatever you’re thinking will not please my dear brother, Hvitserk.”
You raise your brow and nod. “It's a risky idea, but it might help us get an insight into what Lagertha is planning.”
As a child, you were brought to Kattegat to be a slave, but Hvitserk took a liking to you, and Queen Aslaug released you as a slave with the intent of marrying you to her son, which is exactly what you did. And ever since, you have remained loyal to Hvitserk and his family.
“I want Lagertha to think I’m on her side.” You drop your gaze to your feet, hoping that Ivar understands the reasoning behind your plan. “You, Hvistserk, Ubbe, and Sigurd will always be a threat to her, and so will any children fathered by any of you.”
“The legacy of Ragnar Lothbrok.”
“While my husband is gone, I’m vulnerable.”
Ivar scrunches his nose up and scoffs, “Don’t talk nonsense. You're one of the least vulnerable women I know; I’ve seen you fight before.”
“That’s not what I mean. Think about it. Lagather has already tried to befriend me multiple times.”
“She wants to manipulate you because she knows how much my brother values your opinion.”
“Exactly." You nod in agreement. “Hvistserk is gone, and if I were to fall out with you and Ubbe, then my loyalty may sway. If Lagertha were to trust me, I would be able to learn what her intentions are.”
Ivar claps his hands together and says, “You are far more devious than anyone who gives you credit. You have one problem, though; she wouldn’t believe you’ve turned your back on us so easily.”
“Not unless you give me a reason to.”
As planned, warriors who followed the sons of Ragnar did as Ivar asked and took everyone in the great hall hostage during a feast to welcome them. A sharp blade is pressed against your neck, preventing you from stepping any further.
You let out a loud gasp, “Let go of me.”
Ubbe stares at you wide-eyed; he’s surprised to see you on the opposite side of this. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it when Ivar gives him a cold glare.
They both turn their attention back to Lagertha, who has stepped down from the throne. Ubbe begins to circle her while raising his axe, and Ivar growls up at her with a blade in each hand. But before either of them can attack her, the doors to the hall swing open, and Bjorn enters. “If you kill her, my brothers, you’ll have to kill me too.”
Ivar looks up at him and says, “Maybe we should.”
“Shut up!” Ubbe hisses. “She killed our mother.”
In a calm tone, Bjorn says, “I know. You want revenge, and so would I. But more importantly, we have to avenge our father. That is why I came back. And that is what we are going to do.”
Lagertha tosses her sword to the ground. Furious, Ubbe and Ivar leave the hall. You twiddle with the threads of your dress, staring ahead, teary-eyed. Under your breath, you mutter, “Brothers.”
When Lagertha catches your eye and gives you a sympathetic look, you quickly turn and run outside, doing your best to hide the smirk pulling on the corner of your lips.
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