#and i think his feelings on her are extremely complicated. she was an adult who was actually nice to him and expressed concern about him

[235uranium]

"loki is akechi's hate" "loki is destroying akechi's psyche" you're all cowards. loki is akechi's anger and outrage at being trapped and abused. and that is NOT a bad thing

[chowadoe]

so more on that role reversal au...

Shadow (created as a Weapon Against Humanity) who was eventually raised, and exploited, by G.U.N to become Humanity's Ultimate weapon and Sonic, found by Robotnik

some more expanded thoughts below ^_^

SHADOW - G.U.N AGENT

Shadow was initially created with the intention of being a Weapon Against Humanity. after a life-altering incident, G.U.N. takes Shadow into their custody, raising him to become one of their top agents, exploiting him.

he's constantly under government surveillance... inhibitor rings (developed by G.U.N.) are clamped onto him like a shock collar so he is unable to tap into his full power. (Shadow has neither tested nor does he know the extent of his strength.. he has never tried removing them. G.U.N. is the only one who can remove them.)

the hypocritical method in wanting their weapon (cough trained dog) to exercise and develop restraint on his own terms, and yet forcefully acclimating him.

Shadow’s aware of his past. Definitely struggles with Existential dread about why he’s on Earth and what he was made for. he wants to (and feels like he should) do good, but if he was initially made with destructive intent… is he compensating this way? is this what he really wants? no.. he shouldn't think like that.. Maria would want him to be good..

If not to make the world the better a place, if they still treat his kind as inferior and sometimes, even a threat to the whole human race, does humanity and this planet still deserve its rite for redemption? What is humanity? Is that something he’s capable of, as a weapon of mass destruction?

what is he trying to prove here? His docility? His ability to be obedient and be, by human standards, good? what does that mean in a world that may never accept them, and much less him- a synthetic and all-unnatural organism forged from humanity’s worst and an alien race only capable of Evil and wrongdoing. a being so perfectly suited for any and all forms of persecution. Humankind’s scapegoat. He thinks about Maria.

Maria remains a guiding light. Back then, she would sneak Shadow out to gaze upon the Earth, her former home. She misses it, the lush greenery, the sun, the people. she hopes that Shadow will get to experience what it’s like.

au shadow is emo edgy in a sad wet adult 40yo cat leon kennedy kind of way. au sonic is emo edgy like a 14yo that found out you could buy a tattoo gun on amazon without a license. I know nothing about resident evil

when he's not on a mission, he's usually in his "room" (extremely generous word for containment chamber/training facility.) he's like a hamster in a cage with toys to play with . (treadmills. race tracks. dummy robots. Ak-47s.) He's allowed to freely roam HQ from hours 6am-10pm, and if not, he is usually escorted by a guard, unless its Rouge sneaking him out. But beyond that, it's not like the ultimate lifeform needs that much sleep, and it'd be bad to have their ultimate weapon roaming the halls without supervision. but let's say there's the occasional nocturnal scavenger providing him a bit of nightly mischief that even the most complicated most difficult to navigate ventilation system cannot keep a natural-born burrower out..... (haha)

SONIC - ACCOMPLICE

Robotnik’s “accomplice” (adoptive son?)

Sonic goes along with Robotnik’s schemes but has his own ulterior motives .. after all, working under someone is still infringing on his sense of freedom, independence, and pride.

He only rlly helps out Robotnik out if it helps him… robotnik makes some new tech that tickles his , esp if smth that happens to enhance his existing abilities. sure he’s more than capable of doing things on his own but what’s better than to play with his new toys with his already existing toys (GUN. shadow.)

and if he manages to break them in a day then he’s found an issue that robotnik needs to troubleshoot immediately. eggman should really be Thanking him!

his only known goal atm is to find things that stave off his boredom. from what Shadow's gathered at least. but maybe there's more...

has a very bad No Good Fixation on shadow's inhibitor rings for whatever reason. wonder that could mean.

Still fucking around with roles and nothing's rlly set in stone. Im just kind of giggling kicking rocks and throwing pebbles in the water to see what lands ^q^

Rouge is still there! A contractor for G.U.N. A Recovering/reformed Jewel thief who joins the task force (maybe?) 

the gang is also there! still brainstorming roles though. emrmmm

[the-peak-tmnt]

Hey The Neon Void readers, quick update from the author's sister!

(art commission by @kaysdenofchaos)

Hi readers of The Neon Void fanfic. This is the author’s older sister. She’s been getting a lot of fan art and asks lately. She’s sent me screenshots of a few unanswered ones looking for advice on how to respond.

While all the love and support of TNV is genuinely appreciated, my sister @sugarpasteltmnt is not equipped to respond to a small handful of these asks/comments that are, quite frankly, inappropriate.

Sugarpastels is not a therapist, and she’s certainly not an internet stranger’s therapist.

She’s an adult with an extremely demanding and stressful job for a very large client. Some of you have already experienced and enjoyed her work IRL without knowing it. Her company is close to finishing another project that will bring a lot of joy to hundreds of thousands of people every year, but working on a project of that scale is extremely stressful.

She is writing this fanfic for fun. TNV is a way for her to decompress and put her creative energy towards something other than work.

What’s not fun is coming home to asks/comments from readers who are projecting their own struggles/mental health onto TNV, and even Sugarpastels herself, and demanding some sort of attention from her over it.

Let’s be real: it’s fun to watch our blorbos suffer! So much of fandom is just us putting our favorite characters in Situations because it’s fun. Simple as that. But I think another reason TNV has resonated so strongly with readers is because of the way Sugarpastels writes the internal struggles of these characters.

We are both aware that TNV deals with mental health topics. Since the early days of “modern” fandom, fanfiction has been a way for people to explore complicated, difficult and sometimes even taboo subjects. There’s no shortage of complex feelings being explored in TNV, which is why we’re all having so much fun reading it.

But that’s all it is; an exploration. Sugarpastels is not a mental health expert. I’ve read a handful of books on PTSD and mindfulness for research while writing my own fanfic, and I would never consider myself prepared to help someone else.

It’s okay if you relate to things from TNV. I know I do! Again, fanfic has always been a way to read about things rarely dealt with (or handled poorly) in published fiction/tv shows/movies. I will always argue one of the greatest things about fanfiction and other fanworks is being able to see ourselves and our own struggles through our favorite fictional characters.

But Sugarpastels is not a fictional character. She’s a real person. Most importantly (to me at least) she’s my little sister, and this big sister cannot handle watching some of her readers expect more of her than is appropriate.

So I’m asking you to please be mindful of what you ask/say to not just her, but literally everyone on the internet. Unless you’re chatting with someone regularly, they do not know you. Whether it’s friends, family, teachers, coaches, etc, there are people in your life who know you personally, and are therefore better equipped to help you than a stranger on the internet.

Sugarpastels is so full of empathy that it’s hard to not feel for you when you send things like this. But it just isn’t fair to put that kind of unnecessary pressure on someone who is, at the end of the day, just trying to have some fun writing about ninja turtles bein’ sad.

(That being said, PLEASE DON’T BE SCARED TO SEND HER ASKS AND FAN ART!!! They make her day every single time and are seriously so, so appreciated. She’s texting me about it constantly how much she loves all of TNV’s readers. This whole post is really directed at an extremely small percentage of her readers, but there have been enough I felt something needed to be said.)

[keyotos]

i am absolutely in love with ur writing AND with gepard landau,, can i request a first kiss fic for him? i read your kiss the girl fic for dan heng and ITS SO GOOD!! tysm in advance, take care of yourself!

teenage dream

summary ⎯ gepard knows he can't keep these feelings to himself. gepard also knows that he can never tell you about how he feels. so, he goes to the person he tells all his secrets to: serval. serval, who told pela. pela, who is determined to set you two up. and doing so, entails a bookish adventure for you to enjoy.

tana's words ⎯ i too am in love with gepard. i feel u anon. also thank u for the kind words!

tags ⎯ matchmaking (serval and pela). first kiss. pining (this should be expected). bookish!reader. bookstore owner!reader. oblivious idiots.

IT’S EXTREMELY SURPRISING TO HEAR GEPARD frantically knocking on the doors of nevermore workshop, so serval obviously had to open the doors for him.

when he entered, gepard immediately shut the doors as if he was being followed. the expression on his face was dire; he looked as if he was chased by wolves and he was being hunted down.

“gepard?” serval asked, concern dripping in her tone, “what the hell happened?”

“serval,” gepard panted. serval was getting worried; this was all irregular behavior coming from gepard, “i need help.”

gepard never asked for help. he is one of the most self-sufficient and stubborn people serval knows. he would rather stare death in the face instead of asking someone for help.

“what is it?” serval rushed by his side, “whatever you need, i got you.”

“i think i have feelings for,” gepard sighed, palm dragging across his face, “the owner of the bookstore,” he finishes quietly.

serval’s jaw dropped. it wasn’t because of the declaration of gepard’s crush. it was that he made it sound so dramatic. serval thought that he was being tracked down and was about to be sent to the madhouse.

“are you serious!” serval shoved gepard, “i thought you were about to die or something!”

gepard recoiled at serval’s shove; his sister was stronger than most people thought, “it feels like i am! every time i’m around them my heart rate quickens so much that i think i’m about to have a heart attack. i get all nervous on the inside and i can barely think with them beside me.”

aeons, gepard has definitely fallen in love with you.

“wait⎯so, where are you gonna go from here?” serval leaned on the counter, trying to process all the words her brother confessed.

“that’s the thing,” gepard sighed again. he sounded like a lovesick puppy, “i don’t know. that’s why i came here, i thought you’d be able to help.”

“um. you are aware of my past relationship with cocolia, right? i think i’m like the least qualified person you should be asking romance advice from,” serval pointed out.

“i don’t know who else i could tell,” gepard ran a hand through his hair. this was really stressing him out.

“how about you just… tell them?” serval suggested.

“no!!” gepard shook his head distraughtly, “i can’t do that. what if they don’t feel the same?”

“then it’s not meant to be,” serval said, “simple as that.”

“but it’s not,” gepard whined. serval thought he was making this a lot more complicated than it needed to be. when she was his age, she confessed her feelings to cocolia like it was nothing. they were happy until the break up anyway.

but then it donned on serval. gepard had little to no relationship experience. the only “experience” serval remembers him having was when they were children: his friend had a crush on him and tried to confessed, but gepard rejected her.

that’s why gepard was so distressed. he had no idea how to go on with this. these feelings for you? all new. what he missed out as a teenager, he is now getting as an adult.

“tell you what,” serval wrapped her arm around her brother’s shoulder, “i’ll get this sorted out. trust me. yn will never know about this,” she reassured him.

“you just go along with your guardly duties. i’ll help you,” serval grinned. she knew that she had the perfect plan. except, she couldn’t do it alone.

pela already knew about your crush on the silvermane guard captain. every time he greeted the two of you at the book store, pela practically saw the hearts in your eyes. it was sickening and disgusting, but it was cute too.

what pela didn’t know, however, was that gepard has a crush on you as well.

serval came to pela just a few minutes after gepard’s confession. she knew that she probably shouldn’t have told pela right after the conversation happened, but serval didn’t know how else to console gepard.

“so… you’re telling me that they both like each other?!” serval slammed her hands on the counter. “and they’re both too scared to confess!?”

“that’s exactly what i said, yes,” pela monotonously replied.

you knew that there couldn’t be anything between you and gepard. it was highly improbable that you, a bookstore owner, would be able to gain the captain of the silvermane guard’s interest. it seemed like something straight out of a fictional (key word: fictional) romance novel.

so you appreciated his friendship while he was around. sometimes, as a way to become closer to the captain, you’d suggest different books to him every week. despite being on the front lines quite often, he always comes back to see you. well, he comes back for the books anyway.

serval groaned into her hands, “so what do we do? they both like each other but they literally can’t bear to admit it.”

pela smirked. she’s read enough romance novels to figure out what to do next.

“two words, serval,” pela smirked, “grand. gesture.”

gepard took a few deep breaths before approaching your book store. after his chat with serval, he's been distressed the entire day. he had these feelings for you storming all over his body; occasionally, they'd get so strong that it would feel like those feelings would overtake him.

he opened the door, book in hand, and greeted you formally. gepard couldn't help it: he was so nervous, he wasn't able to function straight.

"hello, captain gepard," you turned around. you were on a latter stacking books on top of bookshelves. originally, you thought it would be cool to have towering shelves, however you quickly learned that it was extremely impractical and difficult.

"i told you," gepard stood near the counter, refusing to slouch in your presence, "you can call me gepard."

"and i told you," you grunted, trying to reach a higher spot on a shelf, "to drop the formalities," you grinned to yourself.

gepard noticed your (potentially) perilous situation and quickly got near the end of the latter. in the case that you fall, at least gepard would be there to catch you.

fortunately, you made your way down the tall latter peacefully. as you descended, the sight of gepard holding down the latter for you made you flush. it was the bare minimum, but it still made your heart speed up.

when he reached out his hand to guide you down (it was out of instinct), you gave him a warm smile. it looked easy on the outside, but you were burning up on the inside. similarly, gepard had the same reaction. for you, he'd do anything.

"thank you," you held onto his hand for a little longer. once you realized what you were doing you quickly recoiled your hand away and apologized. gepard wished your hand was still entwined with his; he wanted to hold onto to the feeling of your hand in his. gepard wanted to trace patterns on your hands, wanted to feel every part of them.

as an attempt to dissipate the tension (it was making you nervous), you decided to ask gepard for help. "we had a busy day yesterday. a best seller recently came out; people were storming the shelves. good for my profit but not good for my sanity," you let out an airy laugh, "would you mind helping me clean up?"

realizing what you just did (asking the captain of the silvermane guards for help) you quickly added, "unless you're busy! then i'll be okay. you can leave. i'll be fine," you rambled.

gepard parted his lips, almost as if he was about to say something. how could you ever think he wouldn't make time for you? even so, he'd deploy a few other guards if you needed help. he'd make sure your needs were met as soon as possible.

he reached his arm out; his hands were close to your collarbone. then he reached back, scared of what would happen next. how silly. the captain of the silvermane guards was not scared of no monster, but of rejection of the one he likes.

"i'll stay for anything," gepard blurted. you were taken aback for a second, but then once you realized what he had just said, you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and covertly pinched yourself to make sure that whatever was happening was not a dream.

gepard didn't intend to add, "anything," to his sentence. but his mind was thinking it, and then it just accidentally came out. he meant what he said though. if the bluntness of his voice didn't show his sincerity, the blush that was slowly grazing his face probably did.

"thank you, gepard," you bit the inside of your lip to keep yourself from beaming too hard. you had to turn away from the captain once again, for your smile at his words would be too embarrassing to show. how silly of you to act so giddy and childish at one simple word.

gepard thinks he could hear you say his name a million times, and he would never get bored. he wants to hear his name on your lips as if it were a mantra; you've said his name a few times before, and each time he swears he gets more and more addicted to the sound.

"how about i start on the right and you'll start on the left. that way, we'll both finish in the middle!" you clapped your hands together. you gave gepard a reassuring smile.

you two started on opposite sides, but how gepard wished that you two would be closer. however, there are positives to this situation. gepard can brainstorm ideas for the "grand gesture" pela and serval texted him about.

gepard already had ideas in mind. he just needed to figure out the material for them. he obviously will not tear out papers from a book; that will cause more harm than good (for you and gepard; he cares about books).

while gepard was planning, you were blushing. you still couldn't believe he actually stayed with you. surely, there are more important deeds than helping out a leisurely bookstore owner. and this was the most boring task ever: organizing books. yet, gepard was still here. and he was only a few feet away from you.

you turned back to observe gepard; you wanted to see if you had trapped him in a boring task or not. to your surprise, gepard seemed to be enjoying this. he would flip through pages of various books, spend time reading the summaries; gepard would even go as far to reading the first few pages of some books.

gepard liked to read. at first, he started coming to the bookstore to fetch some books for pela. however, after he met you, he began to adopt a newfound interest in books that he never had before. he read some of pela's books, discovered that he did not like them, and went to browse for more. that's when you came up. you thought you had talked his entire ear off that entire morning; you went on and on and on about what kind of books he would like.

you tried to ignore him afterwards; you even offered the books for free because you were so embarrassed. but gepard kept coming back. your recommendations impressed him: gepard had never met anyone who was so meticulous at their craft. and he loved hearing you talk. he loved your rambles, your rants, your reviews. maybe that was the first sign.

gepard caught your gaze as he turned around. he had the same motivation as you: he wanted to see how you were faring in this task. did you miss the proximity you had before? are you flustered as well? do you like him too?

you two were both staring at each other, thoughts racing, until you shouted, "see something you like?" to break the tension.

gepard thought the question was a taunt at first; similar to asking, "like what you see?"

"no!" he abruptly shouted, trying to hide the fact that he was just staring at you. and then he realized the real meaning of your question: he was browsing the books with such intensity. the truth was, he was trying to find your favorite books. you've informed him about them before, always on your bookish rants. he was going to use them for his gesture later on.

thinking that he now looks like an idiot, gepard tries to save himself by shouting back, "i mean⎯ yes! i do. these books are nice," he tried to cover up.

you seemed not to register his mistake, as you tell him, "whatever you want, it's on the house. for your work today. it'll be on the house for life!" you put some books on some shelves and move closer to the middle.

gepard shook his head and chuckled, "you've always given books to me for free." he put some books back and continued around the room.

"are you complaining?" you raised an eyebrow, "what if i just kept a tab on you this entire time? and you never knew?" more books get put away.

"then i'd rightfully pay you back," gepard wholeheartedly responded, "or i'd arrest you," he joked.

you mock-gasped, "for what?" you're getting closer to the middle now.

stealing my heart, the intrusive part of gepard's mind thought. he'd been hanging out with serval too much; he would never say that. gepard internally cringed.

"false advertising," he moved closer to the middle, “i don't know," he smiled to himself. gepard doesn't think he would have the heart to arrest you.

you blushed at hearing the captain lost on amendments. the captain wouldn't know how to arrest you. is this flirting? or are you reading too much into it?

you don't know if the heat on the back of your neck is from gepard's words or the sun shining so brightly on the back of your neck. you stack some more books on shelves; you've now reached the middle. you're having trouble reaching one of the shelves, but you're too lost in your thoughts to even think about that.

in fact, you're too lost in your thoughts that you don't even notice the warmth disappear from the back of your neck. your cheeks are still warm, so you are still blushing. your struggles with the tall bookshelf are lost when you feel a hand over yours.

"i'll take that," gepard quietly mumbles. it's so quiet that you didn't hear it at first.

on instinct, you turn towards him. when you looked at the position the both of you were in, you noticed that you were caged against him. you were caged against the captain of the silvermane guards. against a bookshelf.

gepard towered over you. his body was centimeters closer to fully pressing on you. his breath was fanning on your face. you could see every detail of his face from your view from below. your hands were so close to grazing his chest, so you immediately slapped them to your sides. you gulp, you start to breath quicker, and you feel like you're about to combust.

you swallowed, trying not to move. you were frozen in place as you tried not to disturb gepard. you gaped at him as he was working to organize the books, not noticing the position the two of you were in.

when gepard finished, he gave a sigh of relief. he underestimated your job: if you had to do this every day, you were probably stronger than some of his soldiers. when he opened his eyes, he was greeted by your wide eyes staring right into his.

he was breath-taken by your beauty. the look in your eyes as you look into his was captivating. gepard needed it framed. the way your lips parted made him go feral; his heart stuttered with every second he looked at you.

his arm was pinned above your head. your bodies were so close that you kept focusing on the rise and fall of gepard’s chest. the way his expression scanned yours made you want to quiver against him.

you said the first sentence, “hard work?” your tone was breathless. you were still trying to catch your breath.

“yeah,” he sighed, still not noticing the way your bodies curved into each other, “hard work.”

“did i waste your time?” you whispered. it was quiet, like you were ashamed of your actions. you looked down at his chest rather than his face.

“no,” gepard leaned in, trying to hear your voice one more time. he tilted your head up slightly with his fingers so you could look at him, “you’d never.”

silence crippled the room. it was just you and gepard, the two of you leaning oh-so-close together that your lips were nearly about to touch. a part of you wanted to lean into him; you wanted to pull him closer and closer until you were both out of breath.

but that was delusional. that was something straight out of romance novels, and your life was anything but.

gepard leaned in closer on purpose. he gave into temptation and wanted to feel your lips on his. he wanted to grab you by the waist and pull you so tightly into him. he wanted this: he wanted your kiss, he wanted your insight, he wanted you.

but with gepard, want is not something one could have. especially one like him.

“i’m sorry,” he abruptly let go, “i’m⎯i think, i have something i need to do,” he took a few steps back away from you, leaving about three feet in distance. quite the opposite from how you two were positioned a few seconds ago.

“oh,” you let go immediately. “i’m sorry! i didn’t know,” you quickly ran to the other side of the room. you wanted to hide from embarrassment.

“not your fault!” gepard shouted as he headed for the exit, “goodbye mx yn!”

you didn’t bother to say goodbye as you slammed the door shut after he left. what just happened was mortifying. the position you two were in? the way you two gradually leaned closer to each other? no wonder he ran away, you thought, you must’ve scared him off.

oh, if only you knew how wrong you were.

you didn't see gepard for a week after the incident. he hadn't come into the bookstore at all the entire week. however, that also could've been your fault: you've been in and out of the bookstore for the past week. if you faced gepard after the incident (you've dubbed), you'd probably apologize and beg for forgiveness.

but still, wouldn't he come in and leave a note? wouldn't he at least stop by once? did you scare him off that badly? the more you thought about it, the more you thought about becoming a hermit.

you'd thought you terrified him and ruined your friendship (and any future hope of a relationship) until flowers appeared on the counter of the bookstore. your assistant refused to let you know who they were from.

you bent down and eyed the pot of flowers sitting on the counter. they were your favorite color: pink. you had to admit, they were gorgeous. they looked well grown, as if these were from a master gardener. the flowers bloomed perfectly, each petal reaching out for the sun.

the message of the flowers also intrigued you. begonias are the flowers that symbolizes knowledge and deep thoughts. whoever gifted these to you must have been very observant or they wanted to be your intern.

"did someone come by asking to be my intern?" you stood up and put your hands on your hips. your lip twisted in thought. you were a bit preoccupied at the moment; the bookstore was getting exceptionally busy and (with your whole gepard crisis going on) you didn't think you were fit to be a mentor at the moment.

"no," your assistant shook her head. you leaned back on the counter, wondering why (and who) would gift you flowers on such a strange day. you already knew it wasn't gepard, due to the awkward tension surrounding the both of you right now, so you had a big list to narrow down.

"but," your assistant continued, "someone dropped off this letter with the flowers. they told me to give it to you after you saw the flowers," your assistant handed you the letter.

it was very formal, the letter. it's envelope was very extravagant, fit for someone with high standards. the stamp was still warm, meaning that this letter had been written recently. you tore open the envelope to reveal it's contents.

yn,

please do me the honor of accompanying me to everwinter cafe tonight. i would really appreciate seeing you there.

gl

"g.l." you paused, "as in green lantern?!" you asked your assistant, wide eyes and all. "who is trying to cosplay as a superhero to talk to me? this is insane. did i owe someone a book or something? charged them extra?" you panicked.

your assistant frowned at your idiocy. who else could 'gl' entail to besides gepard landau? "what if it's the captain," your assistant urged on, nudging your shoulder.

"it couldn't be the captain," you jolted. does your assistant know? "we barely even talk," you try to reason.

"he comes in here nearly every day," your assistant counters, "if not every day, be it every other day," they sighed.

"he just comes in to look at books," you placed the flowers in a safe space in the shelves. "we don't converse as often as you think."

"you talk every day," you assistant drags on. "you're telling me that the two of you have no relations whatsoever?"

"we⎯it's complicated," you sighed, "long story short, it could never be the captain," you looked down at the plant. even if it was gepard, what was he doing? sending anonymous flowers? cryptic notes? why couldn't he just talk to you?

"you should go," your assistant encouraged, "you never know. it could be the captain or it could be another potential secret admirer."

"you think?" you raised an eyebrow. your assistant nodded in response.

you looked at the flowers one more time. though you wished it was gepard who sent them, you knew it was probably someone else trying to flatter you into taking them in as an intern. but as you stared at the begonias, no other thoughts beside gepard consumed your mind

it was late when you walked to everwinter cafe. tonight was not a particularly chilly night, but belobog's slight chill was ever present.

you walked around aimlessly, trying to walk slowly so you can prolong the sight of your "intern." you tried to focus on other things as you walked past, such as the plants and heaters surrounding the city. it's wondrous how things such as plants are still able to flourish in times like these.

as you viewed your surroundings, you saw a note placed on a lamppost close to the cafe. it read, "'i know you're working. i wanted to be somewhere...' safe? familiar? comfortable? 'near you.'

you automatically knew which book that quote was from. book lovers by emily henry. it was your favorite romance book; you've raved about it many times with gepard.

as you continued, you saw another note, "'if you saw yourself the way other people see you, you'd never doubt again.' 'how do people see me?' 'like you're the most beautiful, most remarkable, thing they've ever seen."

you must admit, you blushed a little bit while internally reading that. the only reason you blushed was that because you discussed that quote with gepard. you were talking about the 'twisted' series and how it had it's pros and cons with gepard, and this quote was one of the pros.

another read, "'who are they? the best part of my day.'"

another, "books she has found, are a way to live a thousand lives."

and the last, "'favorite word?' 'you.'"

you quickly noticed that these were all quotes from your favorite books. these are books you've only discussed and rambled about with one person: gepard. you'd never thought he would've actually read these books. let alone, you'd never thought gepard would also quote them.

with slightly more hope than before, you ran up to everwinter cafe.

"did you get my message?" gepard stood tall in front of you. you couldn't look into his eyes and it was killing him.

"your letter? yes, i did. and your flowers too. they were beautiful," you rocked back and forth on your heels.

"thank you, i grew them myself," he gave you a soft smile. you wanted to talk about how he managed to even grow such beautiful flowers, but how could you talk to him if you couldn't even look at him in the eyes? "but, did you get my message?"

you looked down at the many notes in your hand. it turns out gepard had left notes after all, "oh yes. i did," you blushed at the obvious context of the quotes. "all my favorite books."

"yeah," gepard spoke breathlessly, as if all of his air had run out after he started speaking to you, "but did you get my message?" he looked at your face for any type of indication: whether you liked him back, hated him, or had no strong feelings towards him. his eyes darted throughout your face, and the sight made you slightly flustered. he was leaning over you, and you thought you saw his eyes graze over your lips.

then it donned on you. the flowers. the letter. the sneaking out at night. the romantic context of all the quotes. the way all the quotes were from your favorite books that you've only talked about with him. the way gepard has admired and remembered every single thing about you. your stomach dropped as you realized gepard had been feeling the same things you have felt for him this entire time. your heart pounded in your chest as you finally met his eyes in the pale moonlight.

"yes," you swiftly exhaled. it was like all your hidden feelings for gepard were compacted in your chest, and when you finally breathed, they were all let out. it was like all your troubles were leaving you, "i did."

"and..." gepard trailed off, now failing to meet you in the eyes. he was terrified of your rejection; your opinion was one of the things that mattered most to him. before, he regarded it was his passion for the people, but now he recognizes that he was just passionate for you. "did you like it?"

"i loved it," you smiled; it wasn't just a soft smile this time, like the ones you've always given him. it was a big smile: loud and talkative, much like you. one smile could convey so much.

but you still had thoughts, "i didn't need all of this though," you grabbed his hand for reassurance. you were in range of his lips. you could close the gap right now.

gepard froze; your words and your touch made him tense. he was finally able to look you in the eye, having prepared himself for iminent rejection and was ready to leave. whatever you needed, he would do.

"what do you need?" gepard asked frantically. "whatever you need, i will give it to you. whether it be space or never seeing me again."

what you needed? you needed his thoughts, his opinions, his reassurance. you needed his touch on a cold night, you needed his arm around you when you were cold, you needed to feel him beside you on nights similar to this. you needed everything that he was.

"i need you," you whispered up on his lips. "right now."

and gepard swore the entirety of everwinter city heard his heart drop to the ground. he was sure that you could feel his heart pounding in his chest after you said those five words. only five words, yet gepard felt like he was going insane. he was going insane for you: your touch, your mind, your words, your entirety.

gepard removed his hand from yours for just one second, using it to tip your chin up so you could be in his view. in the pale moonlight, you were gorgeous. to be fair, you were always gorgeous, but something about tonight extenuated your beauty.

"can i⎯"

"don't even ask," you cut him off, leaning into him.

the kiss was soft and sweet at first. the feeling of your lips pressed onto his was heavenly: gepard felt ten times stronger with you than with anything else. it was gentle and tender.

but when you tugged your arms around his neck, all restraint went out the window.

gepard moved his hand from your chin to your waist, pulling you closer into him. it was bold for his first kiss, but who could blame him when you're holding onto to him so tightly?

you threaded your hands through his hair as he kissed you feverishly. his hands on your waist made you want to combust into him. you were standing on your toes at this point; if you tried to stand any taller, gepard was about to lift you up into the air.

when you finally stopped to breath, all that was left in the air was your love and the light from the sky.

"was i your first kiss?" you asked him coyly, arms still wrapped around his neck.

gepard blushed and you immediately knew his answer to your question. you stood up one more time to give him one more quick kiss.

yes, you were his first kiss. and gepard wished for more to come.

i need a week off after this fic i swear to god

[os-eclipses-tamen-son-yuri]

I think the addition of Tsuwabuki to the plot line of RGU is genius, BUT especially so linking him narratively with Nanami.

Something about... depicting a child who wants to be a prince to protect princesses (the narrative male gender role) with initialy good intentions; and taking that and making him end up looking up to Touga (and everything he represents; The Student Prince) .

Already showing the seeds of the instrumentalisation of his role as a man when stalking Nanami in an extremely creepy way and manipulating her to get on her good graces, even if it DOES put her in danger.

Something about growing up and feeling the despair of seeing the boys you care about in your life (who already had privilege over you as a girl, even if they didn't know how to fully exploit) turn into mysoginistic men...

Seeing this kid who at the very start you think: "well he's still just a child, maybe he won't be like the other men, maybe he'll just be a sweet boy so that Nanami gets some character development and nothing more, a one-episode character and then realize that...no. It's not that he's different from the others, it's that he has yet to be like them.

In Ohtori, Tsuwabuki is a "kid". Really, all of them are. But the show makes a very clear separation between kids before adolescence and teenagers. What's interesting is that, in Utena, the designs of everyone who is at least a teenager support the narrative theme of the adultification they suffer, which is clearer with the younger girls. Nanami and Tsuwabuki have a 3 year age gap, the same as her and her brother. This allows us to really see the disparity between their desires.

Nanami "loves" his brother because she has been brought up to believe that he is to be idolised, the he is HER prince.

Touga wishes to become A Prince (not an Ideal Prince like Dios, for his behaviour clearly tells otherwise; after all, he is following the steps of the "Captured Prince" but that's a story for another day).

And then there's Tsuwabuki, whose core desire is... becoming an adult.

But adults are complicated, especially in Ohtori, for they don't really exist. Ohtori is a corrupted Neverland where its Peter Pan is an adult only when compared to all the children that surround him. For can someone really be considered an adult when they willfully remain inside their own man-made eggshell. Choosing death –for only those who are dead lose any ability to grow up– so long as he remains in control. A chick growing inside their coffin, with no desire to see the outside world. The most childish desire of them all.

But kids look up to their older peers. It's only natural.

AGAIN we see this idea of boys becoming oppressive and learning to use their privilege kinda reprised (or rather, Nanami being once more the reflection) with Dios/Akio and Anthy and Akio and Touga.

How "The prince" ends up manifesting in all boys and men in Ohtori, how his ghost(s) haunt those men both dead and alive. Younger and older men alike...

[blossomthepinkbunny]

Character development in HB

(and why it doesn't really happen)

I think another reason why the characters of HB feel flat/underdeveloped is because there are a lot of the same revelations made time and time again, without any real progession. It seems as if the writers assume that writing a character arc is just doing the same stuff just more extreme.

Loona realized that she should appreciate Blitzø more two times already (three times if you count "Spring Broken"). In the Beelzebub episode she cares for him when he got drunk after trying to pick her up from the party. In "Seeing Stars" she tells Octavia that their dads might be annoying sometimes, but they care very deeply actually. We also get some insight into how Blitzø first adopted Loona in "Seeing Stars", when she was in a state of needing someone who takes care of her. Despite all these moments were Blitzø showed great care for her (including "Spring Broken") and despite the moments where she realizes she should be nicer to him, we never see a definitive change in her behaviour. Her helping to take out the C.H.E.R.U.B could be counted as having a new attitude towards her dad, but Millie and Moxxie also followed him, so it's not an exclusive decision she made. And if her not wanting her dad to die is a new trait of hers, then I don't know what I should think of her character to begin with.

Octavia has the exact same conversation about her relationship with her dad twice. In "LooLoo Land" she finds out that Stolas cares more than she realized and that adult relationships are more complicated than she expected. In "Seeing stars" Loona and her talk about how Stolas loves her a lot more than he is able to show. Octavias character is stale and there is never a new conclusion she draws from these experiences.

In another way, Stolas realizes that his daughter feels neglected and he wants to be more present for her, yet after that we never see him spend more time with her and after a few episodes she feels neglected once again.

We get to see some insight into Millies character in "Unhappy Campers". We see that she is pretty insecure in her own worth and needs approval. In some of the leaks for the unreleased ghost episode, Millie apparently is going to try to commit suicide because she feels useless and has insecurities. We get the same revelations for her, just that the second time it's way more intense. But despite this intensity, these deep feelings Millie has never come up until the show sees them as "relevant" (keep in mind this part with Millie is only based on the leaks I saw, take this one with a grain of salt maybe).

In the newest episode Stolas realizes that Blitzø isn't really interested in a deeper relationship with him. Blitzø tells him off, just as he did in "Ozzies" with Stolas coming to a pretty similar conclusion after Blitzø told him off and didn't take the offer to hang out in a non sexual context. He and Blitzø also text, which we see in "Western Energy". Stolas tells Blitzø that he doesn't have to show up to their annual meeting or that they can meet up for other, not sexual stuff. Blitzø never responds enthusiastically or like he is genuinely interested in getting to know Stolas. Stolas has found out that Blitzø isn't really interested in him beyond the deal multiple times. Yet in the newest episode, he acts shocked and saddened, as if this is something he just found out about.

I know that character development takes time and it's not realistic for people to immediately change after having one revelation about their behaviour. In HB however, the character arcs feel like they turn on and off however the show needs them to.

Loona is abusive, annoyed and cynical when the show wants to be funny (that's pretty much the only joke she has). When the show wants to tackle her seriously she becomes a scared, closed off, but still able to be genuine person who realizes that she needs to be better. They want her to become better but they also never let her fully go through with trying to change. Octavia is never seen on screen until the show wants to present Stolas as a better dad than he seems. So she can't progress because then, her whole purpose as a character (as it is now) is defeated. Millie is a seriously insecure person needing of approval in scenarios where they want to have conflict with Moxxie (or make her seem more deep ig) but in other instances we can't see her insecurity, because she also needs to fullfill her purpose of being Moxxies hypewoman and full support. Stolas wants to dial back his sexual side towards Blitzø to make him realize he isn't just interested in their deal. He wants them to be genuine and says himself, that he doesn't like just making their relationship sexual. He makes sexual remarks towards Blitzø in "Seeing Stars" and doesn't show restraint in talking about him sexually in "Western Energy".

The characters feel like they loop around and don't develop because a lot of them are just acting how the plot needs them to act in a specific scenario. That's either because they never get real focus that would help adequately deal with their stuff, or that it's pretty clear that they weren't written with the intention of having big arcs/deeper motivations.

I think the biggest development any character had throughout HB is Stolas realizing he wants more out of his and Blitzø's relationship (even though that came very suddenly) and Fizzarolli and Blitzø becoming friends again (which was also kinda rushed but it's fine). Blitzø in general is one of the better written characters in the show in my opinion and he has some nice moments amd interesting interactions.

Also, @wolfscarr has a three part set of posts talking about the problems with HBs narrative, wasted relationships and opportunities. It's really thorough and makes interesting points about the broken narrative of HB. I'll put the link to the first part right here if you wanna check it out.

[daisyychainssj]

I know the whole Richas and Tallulah conflict happened hours ago and it reached a resolution and stuff but I'm just now catching up with it so I'm gonna write out my feelings about it because I think the whole thing and the way everyone is interpreting it differently is really interesting. I'm probably going to end up saying things that people said like hours ago so sorry if it's a bit repetitive to read!

!THIS IS ALL ABOUT THE CHARACTERS NOT THE CCS!

Richas POV - Okay so firstly, Richas' pov is probably the most complicated because he (obviously) has a much more complex relationship and understanding of the paintings. Not only do they cause him to be distressed because of how they're created but seeing it up on Philza's wall has just shown him that his pai Cellbit betrayed his trust. He didn't get rid of the paintings and instead has been just handing them out behind his back and I can't imagine how gut wrenching that must've been. Tallulah get's defensive about the painting and so she becomes the target of all of his hurt, frustration and fear. He is so worked up over this (understandably) and is getting increasingly frustrated because nobody is listening to him. He didn't agree to the "not be siblings anymore" ultimatum because he truly felt that way, I think he was just blinded by pure desperation. This poor kid NEEDS to be given the opportunity to sit down with someone and open up about this whole Romero Richas situation and he needs to be listened to and his fears taken seriously.

Tallulah POV - Now onto Tallulah's pov. For Tallulah this painting is a cute art piece of her papa phil and her brother Chayanne and suddenly her other brother is demanding that he take it back. Yes it's his painting but also she's a kid, in her eyes this painting was given to them and it's theirs now why would she give it back just so it can be destroyed? Also, Tallulah is the sweet egg! the kind egg! oh she's just so lovely and that's all there is to her!!!!! (sense my sarcasm here) sometimes when that is the way that someone presents themselves it's because they're scared that if they aren't that way they won't be liked/loved and people will leave if they're not prefect. This girl has abandonment issues on top of abandonment issues and Richas agreed to not be her sibling anymore over a painting. So this impacted her HARD. (we ofc know Richas didn't mean it but her character didn't) Tallulah acts out and (from her pov) stands her ground for once and now her brother doesn't want to be her brother anymore. I also think her throwing a tantrum and being a bratty made some of the audience even more shocked and dare I say frustrated at Tallulah behaving like this during this situation because that's not how they're used to her being. She was being stubborn and giving these intense ultimatums but she can be like this I think people just don't see it often because she only really lets her guards down in that way infront of Phil and Chayanne.

So now you have two extremely worked up kids who won't really listen to each other because their emotions are so heightened and that's to be expected! Children can not and should not be expected to regulate their emotions in the same way adults can.

Forever POV - His entire pov of the situation is very interesting to me. I see a lot of people criticising the way he handled this and to a certain extent I do agree. However, I think something that is being overlooked is that Forever perhaps wanting to make sure Tallulah was okay is because that is not his child. He only got permission literally yesterday to look after her after being previously denied. With Richas he can sit with him for HOURS afterwards if needed to try and talk through things. He has to drop Tallulah home in like an hour. It's very obvious to everyone on the island how close she is with Phil, she will tell him everything that happened during her time with the other parents. It makes sense, to me, for Forever to want to try and smooth the situation out as fast as he can and make everything okay. Do I think that makes the way he acted completely fine. No. but I don't think it makes zero sense for him to have acted that way. Also, him being Richas' pai means he's seen Richas have tantrums and be dramatic and bratty, he's never ever seen Tallulah do that so yeah he's going to panic and be like "oh shit I need to calm her down/make sure she's okay because this is unusual". I really do wish he had taken Richas' feelings and concerns more more seriously and hadn't just left him for a bit hopefully in the future he makes sure that he does that. It's a learning curve and he's learning to parent as he goes! He crash landed on an island and then got a child dropped into his lap to take care of so he's kinda just learning on the job.

BBH POV - I don't really have much to say here, I think bad handled the situation well given what he canonically knows about the Romero Richas situation (which is basically nothing) He encouraged Tallulah to talk things through with Richas and kept explaining how important their bond is and idk I just think BBH did a really good job.

Overall, I LOVE that the eggs are getting storylines with each other and are learning and growing. I'm so glad that Richas and Tallulah made up, they both need a warm hug and some hot chocolate or something after that whole ordeal. Little kids feeling big emotions for the first time is tough! but they did great <3

(I apologise if I missed anything important that happened between Richas and Forever when they were alone, I don't speak Portuguese but I tried my best based on the bits and pieces that the wonderful Portuguese speakers on here have translated!)

Anyway that's my long ass essay done! <3

[ninadove]

Hello, all respectfully, may I ask, why do you want emilie to be dead? I mean adrien deserves to have his mom back, don’t you think? You can answer it thru private chat if it makes you more comfortable.

No that’s perfectly fine! I love getting a chance to overanalyse and write down my own thoughts! 📝

So, I have a complicated relationship with Emilie as a character, but I don’t hate her by any means. I do believe she is a lot less pure and innocent than we were first led to believe, but that makes her much more compelling, so as far as I’m concerned it’s a great writing choice.

The reason I think she should be dead, or more accurately, stay dead (the nuance is crucial), is simply storytelling.

As fun as the show is, it is also pretty serious when it wants to be, and these 5 seasons were written with a couple of core messages in mind:

Part of the experience of being human is to accept that there is no magical solution to our problems. Sometimes things don’t work out, sometimes we lose the people we care about; and actions bring consequences, always. This is why using the Peacock carries such a heavy toll, even after it is fixed, and why the Lucky Charm primarily relies on Marinette’s intelligence and creativity (characteristically human qualities) rather than being an automatic problem solver.

Whenever these losses occur — you have to move on. Staying stuck in the past means depriving yourself of a chance to enjoy the present and plan for the future. All of the events of these 5 seasons were triggered by Gabriel’s inability to accept the concept of death, and by his attempts to drag all of Paris down the pits of grief (symbolised by the akuma attacks) with him — starting with his own son.

Of course, Adrien deserves to be happy and loved! And Emilie herself explains how it can happen:

By letting her go.

Adrien is an extremely strong and loving kid who, unlike his father, is able to shoulder the pain while still opening himself up to the world. Gabriel trying to bring Emilie back did nothing to fix the sorrow his son had to deal with; in fact, it cost him his other parent and a normal childhood in the process.

But the thing is — Adrien does not need Emilie anymore.

He has a girlfriend who loves him so much she gave his dad one last chance to make the right choice, despite all the pain he caused (and will likely continue to cause from the grave). He has a cousin who loves him so much he was willing to burn the world down, then help fix it to protect him. He has amazing friends who supported him through this entire ordeal (special shout-out to Nino, who has been on Gabriel’s case since S1 E9), even when he did not feel comfortable enough to share the full extent of the abuse he was going through. He has Amelie and Nathalie, who will provide him with the motherly love he needs in his life, and Tom and Sabine, who are already packing him his breakfast every morning because they’ve carved him a place in their family and hearts. Also, he has a cheese-eating demon who lives in his pocket.

No one is entitled to raising the dead, and Adrien would never even consider it. But he does deserve love and care and happiness, things his father deprived him of in his senseless quest to defy the laws of nature — things he was able to build for himself because he chose to be kind and vulnerable despite his grief.

Season 6 will be terrible on him, but he will come back stronger on the other side. And in doing so, he will send an important message to the core audience of the show: young children who will sooner or later have to mourn a loved one themselves, but will know they can be OK thanks to his example.

And you know, sometimes us adults need a little reminder too. 💚

[sharpth1ng]

What do you think of Roman Bridger? Will he ever appear?

I think in isolation from the rest of the original trilogy Roman is an entertaining character and Scott Foley does a good job in the role. There's even a lot I like about scream 3, I think the extremely meta concept of having a scream movie happen on set for a stab movie is pretty clever and there's a lot of potential there.

However, I really really dislike Roman's origin and I think that overall his presence weakens the series, especially the first movie.

Roman's Motive

Literally he's trying to get revenge on Sid because Maureen put him up for adoption after she was sexually assaulted when she was just 19. I get that it's hard to be adopted, I have sympathy for the complicated feelings that would bring up, but Roman is a grown man getting revenge on his birth mom, who was a literally teenager when he was non-consensually conceived. It's pretty vile.

The movie clearly knows this is a gross motivation but it feels pretty played out to bring it back to Maureen's sexual history again. At least in the original she was having a consensual affair with Cotton Weary, but punishing her in the narrative for a sexual assault feels nasty. Leave this poor woman alone, she's been post-mortem slut shamed enough.

2. The Billy & Stu retcon

The second thing I don't love about Roman is that he takes responsibility for the original Woodsboro Massacre, saying that he's the one who gave Billy the idea and basically told him how to pull it off. In my opinion this really weakens the original movie.

Part of what works so well about Scream 1996 is how petty and teenage it is. The slasher villain isn't this omnipotent force of nature that seems able to teleport and survive all wounds, it's literally two 18 year old boys doing a bunch of fucked up stuff for fun. That's unique, it's fun, and its an actual commentary on the genre.

Coming back five years later and being like "Oh wait actually it was this adult mastermind pulling the strings behind the scenes this whole time!" just really cheapens all of that. It weakens the strongest movie in the franchise and I can't forgive that.

So yeah, for me scream 3 isn't canon, or at the very least Roman is lying about the fact that he gave Billy the idea. As of now I don't have plans to include him in the series, but if I do he's going to be in a very different form.

(If you like scream 3 and Roman and all that comes with him, thats totally fine, its just not for me)

[cavennmalore]

tagging @myfairkatiecat because it is only fair after you requested this word vomit lol

The thing about Keefe not being a good person is a little complicated. Full disclaimer, I don’t really believe in the whole good/bad person dichotomy, and definitely not for KIDS. Nevertheless, I don’t disagree with the people who say that Keefe isn’t the awesome person Sophie’s (biased) opinion makes him out to be. Not for the manipulative reasons -- which, Keefe is a teenage boy and I don't know about anyone else but that is like THE demographic for being a little messy in relationships lmao -- but for a lot of his planning. Joining the Neverseen without telling anyone what his plan was? Proposing himself as Mercadir without giving anyone a chance to refute him? Lying at the end of Legacy and showing up to the confrontation even though it was explicitly agreed he'd stay back? Basically, everything he did in Lodestar? Not great.

It's not Certified Good Guy Behavior. But that's his role. Keefe was literally designed to occupy this grey, questionable space, both in the narrative and outside of it. He's Sophie's character foil. Lady Gisela's plan revolves around pushing Keefe to become a worse and worse person; that involves raising him in a way that cultivates bad behavior and forcing him into increasingly extreme situations that are designed to make Keefe "ready" when the time comes. That is a huge part of the plots of Nightfall and Legacy.

Admittedly, I don't think Shannon has made him evil/grey enough, which I know isn't a popular take. There was real potential to make Keefe a wild card in Lodestar and make it so that the question isn't what stupid scheme is he planning? but to what extent have Lady Gisela's machinations worked? It's an interesting plotline to me. It's why I'm so excited for Unraveled; it's a chance to see this push-pull in action without Keefe's "north star" (AKA Sophie) guiding his decisions.

But a lot of people don't feel this way. A ton of the complaints I see around the book have to do with Keefe getting too much page time, the plotline taking up too much space in the story, etc. Which is fair! If you don't like Keefe, I'm sure a lot of this is grueling. However, a point I see connected to this line of thought is a wish for the books to return to a more ensemble vibe. That there should be more Dex, more Biana, more Stina, more Tam, etc. the way that it used to be.

That version of the books, though? It only really exists in the first book. Keefe is a prominent character in Exile and a huge driver of its plot. It's only in Book One where he only exists on the margins and isn't super involved. The ensemble cast has grown exponentially since then, to the point where there are frankly too many characters to keep track of in a scene without straight-up listing them all (which did happen but I'm forgetting which book). The decreased page time of supporting characters isn't solely because Keefe is eating the narrative, but because there are way too many characters for everyone to get a subplot; rather than have pre-existing characters solve issues, Shannon tends to just pull new ones in, and then leave them to hang out for the following books. If the series was for a more adult audience, I would say that it was time to start killing people off (like the popular critique of The Boys) but because this is a kids series, they're going to just hang around and not do much.

A lot of the nostalgia for this old version of KOTLC presents itself in fandom discussions of Dex. Full transparency: I didn't really like Dex that much in the early books when I did my reread. I found him unbearably rude to Fitz and Biana. His crush on Sophie felt invasive at times as if she was catering to a boy that was projecting his feelings and making her accommodate him. It's very similar stuff to the current criticism of Keefe! But I have yet to see any discussions around Dex that don't characterize him as kind, goofy, or sweet. Maybe there is some discussion of him being snarky or sarcastic. The most criticism I've seen of him is about how he treated Stina in his introduction, which was taken largely in isolation.

But that sweet, goofy version of Dex that people talk about missing? He doesn't exist. Sure, Dex mellowed out a ton in the later books, but he didn't become a whole new character. And I don't believe that he disappeared from the books in the way that some people claim. He just... doesn't have a subplot anymore. His crush on Sophie was resolved. It was a sticking point in his and Sophie's friendship which made him part of her character arc, and that arc is done. If that went on for any longer, it would be a drag on the pace of the series. Like I said before, the presence of so many side characters, each with their own needs and motivations, makes it difficult to introduce him into new stuff. It's why he gets so much more page time in Unlocked. With the presence of so many other characters, Shannon tends to handwave a lot of the background group dynamics. Dex ended up becoming close to Keefe and was able to shine there, away from Sophie's perspective and their finished arc.

All of this is to say, it's not wrong to dislike Keefe or like Dex. But I think a lot of the conversations surrounding these guys can get muddled in nostalgia and what people think the books should be rather than what they are. I'm (severely) guilty of it too. It's part of a broader trend in fandoms as "fandom" as a concept becomes more popular. That is a whole other post, though, and frankly, this one is long enough lol

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

If Poppy somehow knew about Proto’s true identity before HoJ, how were her actions and attitude towards him change?

HONESTLY I think that if she knew the Prototype was Elliot Ludwig all along, she could have stopped the HoJ from happening. So...

Great Escape AU

Poppy finds out that the Prototype/Experiment 1006, who she thought was a stranger who suffered a cruel fate just for her to become alive, is actually Elliot Ludwig, her adoptive father. And, even worse: He's planning to kill everyone inside Playtime Co. in order to free all the children inside! She must stop this plan from continuing, and, after that, elaborate another one so everyone can be free: Workers and children alike.

Poppy finds out about this when Theo is turned into Catnap, after confronting Pierre about why he was burning her father's legacy to nothing. He accidentally implies Elliot had a similar fate, and, after days of investigation, Poppy has the awful realizzation that Pierre wasn't lying. Knowing the Prototype is looking after Catnap, she decides to talk to the smiling critter, just in time to make him realize that the one who saved him wasn't a higher being, but just another victim of cruelty. Now together, the two adopted siblings must try to convince Proto to stop with the violence.

And, when and if they finally do that, they must figure out a way to make everyone escape and have the authorities actually do their job well, instead of trapping everyone into another prison. Things feel so complicated, but a certain PlayCo. worker may be the savior angel the duo needs...

This is like a drama movie combined with an action movie combined with a comedy movie combined with a tragedy but it has a happy ending. Some extra thoughts:

Elliot dehumanizes PlayCo.'s workers due to all the torture he has been through. This is not an excuse to his actions, but it's a reason why he's doing what he's doing;

Catnap thinks he failed the Prototype during their escape attempt, the last thing he heard being "you have failed him". What he doesn't realize is that this was the Prototype talking to himself: He failed Theo. He failed his boy;

Catnap and Poppy have a sibling dynamic as they have in Poppy Worldwide/Save Everyone AU;

Poppy was an adult when she got turned into a doll, and despite her size, she's very protective of Catnap, knowing that in the end he's just a kid. Not that he LISTENS to her reasoning for that...

All the Smiling Critters have their BBI versions as well;

Elliot had volunteered to become the Prototype, thinking this would make the brain transfer safer for Poppy, not realizing that dr. Sawyer was trapping them both inside PlayCo. It was too late to help Poppy or himself by the time he put the pieces together;

Angel is the same one as the Poppy Worldwide/Save Everyone AU one, only younger, being on their late 20s/early 30s by the time Poppy and Catnap drag them to their plan;

More workers will eventually join the plan to help Angel, including the children of Playcare;

Elliot still has schizophrenia and still deals with a lot of hallucinations;

Poppy and Elliot were extremely close before getting turned into experiments, and once someone knows they were daughter and father, it becomes easy to spot all the habits one got from the other. These include hiding their mouths/covering their faces when laughing too much, figdeting with their fingers, and clapping two times when they want a group to pay attention to them. Catnap is also going to get these habits from them.

[lone-pylon]

My Thoughts on the Nuances Behind 47's Emotional Dependency:

This is going to be a long post, so I'll put it behind a Read More:

I often find myself coming back to the post-Dubai cutscene where Lucas questions 47 about things he had never had the time or care to think about before. Things like his future, his desires, his loyalty to Diana. He has so much trust in her. So much so that, when challenged by the first person he ever trusted, admired, and befriended, he still firmly defends her. Grey's reasoning behind his distrust of Diana is: "I don't like executive decision makers" Well, of course he doesn't. Lucas is extremely emotionally-driven, and understands fully the consequences of blindly relying on authority. Whereas 47 doesn't. 47 has always been dependent. We see this early in his life when he bonds with 6/Lucas. Lucas was always independent and free-thinking, always asking questions and acting as 47's big brother and guardian figure. 47 was always seen as the Most Gifted Boy, never asking questions and never failing to please his superiors. He had expectations to carry, and fulfilling those expectations gave him a sense of purpose in life. It wasn't until he started clinging to 6 that he began deviating from those very expectations, resulting in his -to put it bluntly- chemical lobotomy.

It's been shown over and over again that 47 is, in fact, a fear-driven person. He constantly seeks approval from those he perceives as authorities to himself, those who know exactly who they are, what they're doing, and what they expect of him (Ort-Meyer, Lucas, and Diana later on). His desire for meaning stems directly from fear: fear of imperfection, fear of death, fear of betrayal, fear of uselessness. Every facet of his Self is influenced by fear. So, when confronted with someone who nurses every one of those fears (Diana), he attaches himself to them, because they confirm his own perceptions of safety and purpose.

It's so... Tragic. He is wholeheartedly dependent on Diana. From the surface, it'd be easy to say "47 isn't dependent, he's a competent adult." But then you peel back the layers and you realize, no, he is dependent. He needs to be.

Diana pursued a degree in psychology because, in a revenge-driven obsession, she wanted to understand what made people tick. She wanted to learn how to manipulate, to control, to dominate. When she met this man, this emotionless, confused, empty person, she saw an opportunity for herself. She didn't feel anything for him. No pity, no sympathy, no understanding. Instead, she was almost giddy at the realization. She saw 47 as nothing but a tool to further her own goals and to propel her reputation; to say to Soders "I told you so". 47 was the only agent she was able to successfully control because he was, in her own words, a blank slate. She could puppet him however she wanted and leave no loose strings. And 47 had no idea. All he wanted was a path, a purpose, a goal, and she gave it to him. And it was easy.

After Dubai, Lucas tells 47: "You have to face the possibility that there's no going back" But he can't. 47 immediately responds with defending Diana, going back to that safe, comforting dependency: "She'll make it right. She always does." He doesn't want to face that possibility. He responds the way he does as if to say "Don't make me think about things I don't understand". His response to things that confuse him are just another reaction to things that scare him. Anything he can't predict, understand, analyze, or kill, is terrifying, and he no longer has the means to grapple those complicated feelings. Instead, he attempts to avoid them altogether, to derail the topic with something more logical to him, more predictable, more safe. But the part that breaks my heart the most is the pre-Romania cutscene. The nightmare sequence, right after he's poisoned. The entire cutscene is showing us his inner thoughts, his fears. What makes it so tragic, though, is that all of these fears are speaking in Diana's voice. Even in his own mind, his existence still revolves around her. All of his fears, his self-loathing, rely on her judgement. They aren't even his own thoughts anymore. She is the one holding the scales.

It isn't until we see Lucas appear in these hallucinations that we finally see some sort of reasoning happening in 47's thoughts. We hear his voice, his own cognition, his admission of unknowing. This is the point where he's finally breaking free of his strings, asking himself "What do I do?" to which the ultimate response is a resounding "Embrace yourself, but don't let the past define you."

[bananasfosterparent]

Hehehehe tell me more about consort efinity pleaseeeee

OH...OH no.. you--you don't know the size of the shipping container of worms you just busted open with this question lmao 😭😭😭

(Seriously, getting this ask had me kicking my feet and giggling during my mini vacation at a friend's lakehouse!! Thank you for having an interest in my babu 😭😭 it really means a lot to me.)

I have some posts about her general backstory in her tag but I am guessing you mean taking about Efenity as Astarion's Dark Consort specifically? So, I'll focus on that.

Plus it's not something I've delved into fully and on Tumblr yet lol I apologize for the length before I've even typed out this post lmao I wrote a lot under the cut, sorry 🫣

This song sums up nicely how Efenity is with becoming a Consort and how it makes her feel being his:

Catching My Breath (Cutmore Remix) - Kelly Clarkson

Also, I will mention a lot about her relationship with Astarion in general, and not just Efenity herself as his consort.

As Astarion's consort, Efenity can just be herself in full comfort. In truth Consort Efenity is cruel, unforgiving, uncaring, ruthless, and extremely selfish toward those who are not herself, Astarion or (despite their differences) Shadowheart. She is everything she's always been, but cranked up to 12. She's arrogant and puts all of her confidence in herself and her Lord (this only increases with time lol). On the surface (to charm normies), she is generous, considerate, warm, and charismatic. But like the weather she channels, people soon learn they are just in the eye of the storm.

Efenity is a simple woman. Despite how complicated her schemes can be, despite her elaborate manipulations and meticulously detailed plans for heists...really it's all for a simple concept: comfort, security, and security in comfort. Her main goal for most of her adult life has been to score a hit big enough that she can use the money she stole to purchase her own home (preferably in the upper city), fund her own criminal ring, live lavishly and alone. Once strong enough, she planned to usurp Ninefingers and be the new 'queen' in charge of the underbelly society. Without even being detected. She wanted to live large in her big home and throw parties for other nobles too drunk to notice they were getting their pockets emptied in her party rooms. And then fund her lifestyle by the criminal ring she would be secretly running.

So becoming Astarion's consort literally is her greatest dream come true.... plus the grandest dream she never even thought possible, of becoming the bride to a vampire lord.

---

I'm going to skip ahead to their 'comfortable' years, after the palace has been fully rebuilt and refurbished and they have returned from their leisure travels. I headcanon that it takes a very long time for Astarion to be comfortable with turning someone else into a spawn. And even then, he doesn't find actual pleasure in it, but sees it as business. It's on his terms and only those he personally deems worthy of it. While he talks a lot about making spawn at first in-game, he also admits (to Minthara) that the gift of immortality belongs to only him and his Consort. I feel like those are his true feelings.

But I like to think eventually, Efenity reminds him that they cannot run a palace by themselves, and they certainly cannot have living civilians working for them. His ghouls and werewolves--while great for a fight--are no use with pouring tea or cooking feasts, or changing silk bedsheets. They need servants. Vampire servants. Especially to dispose of bodies and clean up blood splatter without question. And just like that, Efenity's life becomes more than just being Astarion's lover and confidant. Now she had more responsibility, managing the lesser spawn.

----

Consort Efenity spends most of her time in two places: the main palace, and her underground study.

In the main palace, her duties as Lady of the Manor are:

Plan/host the parties she and Astarion throw for gathering intel and victims.

Charming targets at their parties to drill information, blackmail fodder, or gossip out of them covertly.

Make alliances or use philanthropic ventures to keep up appearances AND put people in debt to her and Astarion.

Emotionally keep Astarion in check.

Perhaps most importantly: lock the main doors (both physically and with an arcane lock) to keep victims from escaping and crafty heroes from entering.

In her study, her duties are:

Training the lesser spawn on using their vampiric powers (according to DnD lore, they probably have natural abilities automatically when they awaken but I hc they have to train to improve at them).

Combing through Astarion's side of the plans for inflitration or domination of different groups and parties, filling in the details and making the plans actually do-able.

Running the city's criminal guild. There are underground tunnels connecting the palace to her own guild. She ultimately plans to eliminate Ninefingers (and what's left of the current guild loyal to NF).

Overall, she's a cruel mistress who enjoys giving an inch to take a foot. She likes playing cat and mouse games with victims and being such a big woman, can easily drain them dry in moments. She and Astarion make a million plans and rarely do any of them actually work out, but they keep trying and she has fun with that.

---

But she and her Lord are not without their issues between them too.

She has lost a good amount of control over herself to vampirism. Being a woman of rich comforts and hedonism, these traits are amplified in vampirism and she easily falls victim to her own hunger and boodlust. Thankfully, Astarion is there to help her through it, but must keep her in check when she has episodes of feralness. Just as she emotionally helps him check himself, he helps bring her out of her hunger daze. I hc that he cannot actually compel her because she is legitimately his bride, so he has to employ other ways of bringing her back to herself. Effective, but rarely is it pretty.

Both of these things can be quite frustrating for both of them. They desire to maintain their twisted version of love, as--thanks to their Blood Bond--they emotionally and mentally depend on one another's joy and happiness to fully have their own. It's very co-dependent, but they are both happier that way.

As time continues, they become more powerful and Astarion is more and more possessive and protective of his bride. Likewise, Efenity becomes more and more obsessed with him and blinded by the greatness she sees in him. To her, he is like a god, her Lord who can do no wrong. Her Lord who has remade her entirely. No longer do they help put each other in check, but instead indulge in their desires to be feral and power hungry for one another. They see themselves as the most powerful and clever creatures in Faerun, and want to prove it together, against the world. Thus, begins their eventual downfall.

But it takes many, many, many decades and decades for them to get to that extreme.

[utilitycaster]

I'll admit Pâté's introduction as a familiar was a lot, but I think that's the point. Laudna was able to bring him to life...but by the time she could do so, she had real friends - friends who traveled across the world to resurrect her. So now she's grappling with the fact that he's extremely useful, but when he's not scouting or helping her in combat, she can't just stop him from talking about how horny he is to random strangers anymore. His original purpose as a companion no longer makes sense, but the vestiges of it, some of which are, well, a lot, can get really grating. I think that's why she's come off recently as a little irritated with him.

It's funny, because earlier Laudna was portrayed very much (and said as much by Marisha) as having somewhat arrested development and ever since her resurrection she's sort of speedrun that and is acting much more like an adult. I don't think she's played with her dolls in the same way since, and I wonder if Pâté being real is part of it: she got the living puppet she'd dreamed of, but that means she doesn't totally control what he's saying anymore. I mean, he's a familiar, she can dismiss him or give him commands, and she still clearly cares about him, but bringing him to life was probably something that, years ago, she dreamed about. And now she has it, and it's got its drawbacks. And when you consider it in the context of her having the rest of Bells Hells to lean on, it's just something she's started to outgrow a bit.

It's also interesting because Laudna tends to swallow her irritation and perform for the audience - even many of the members of Bells Hells. This is a woman who, upon being brought back to life after several days trapped in the afterlife, tried to deflect the focus from herself as much as possible, and who as we're seeing now isn't letting herself cry no matter how scared and worried she feels. Letting herself be openly annoyed with aspects of Pâté is a small step, but it's an important one.

I also wonder - and this is more of a long-shot - if Pâté reflects some of Laudna's own worries. The thing is, he is more annoying now, but he's also more useful. I wonder if she asks herself if that's the case for her. It's not, but she has felt a bit like a burden as of late. Which in turn would complicate things with Pâté, if he serves as a reminder of some of her own (unfounded! but possibly very real to her!) insecurities.

[absolxguardian]

The new book Rise And Fall of the Galactic Empire, which is an in-universe history book, provides some lore that I think provides very interesting background context to that Tay'lor Spiff post. (I know there's a Republic era pop-star that was a Taylor Swift easter egg in the last issue of the Jango Fett comic series, but the fact she's a Twi'lek makes me feel like she can't be a full Taylor Swift expy- because she wouldn't be a part of the dominant racial group.)

Set alongside the SAGroup was the Coalition for Progress, which in many ways fulfilled similar roles and responsibilities relating to the adult population of the galaxy. Initially one of the smallest groups within COMPNOR, Progress—as the name was often shortened to—was sometimes greeted with a degree of trepidation by Imperial citizens and planetary governors. Much of this stemmed from the actions of the group within Progress designated to deal with art and culture. Progress created a very narrow definition regarding acceptable art, music, or performances that could be held or showcased in public. The result was a funding collapse in artistic pursuits and the blacklisting of some extremely high-profile artists, performers, and musicians who fell afoul of the new regulations. This included some of the leading gonk-rock groups of Bormea sector, who regularly had their venues closed or raided, and the overtly anti-Imperial band Red Shift Limit. Furthermore a musician from Naboo named Palo Jemabie was imprisoned at a labor camp by the Empire for a musical performance described—without detail—by his criminal record as “deviant.” This situation was particularly complicated as various planetary governors had previously been patrons and supporters of those who were now banned and could no longer enjoy their work.

[...]

The SAGRecreation group in particular was highly adept at identifying potential role models within various spheres of sport and culture who might appeal to younger citizens. Grav-ball already had an existing widespread appeal in the galaxy, but the Empire took the extra step of incorporating it into various military academies and recruiting some of its most famous stars as examples of what both physical prowess and loyalty to the Empire could mean. Broadcasts of grav-ball tournaments on the holonet were often accompanied by recruitment messages that featured popular players, and Grand Moff Tarkin was sometimes seen in the crowd for games that took place on Coruscant, though it remains unclear whether he actually had any interest in the sport.

This is clearly inspired by how sports and the arts were treated within real life fascist regimes- grav ball is space American football, there's an entire middle grade book about that. Given the position the kind of country pop Taylor Swift makes in our current cultural hegemony- the Empire isn't considering it "degenerate music". So Spiffies (specifically young people from wealthy Core families who'd be the only ones able to get away with posting stuff like that on the Holonet) insistence that Tay'lor is actual a force sensitive rebel sympathizer is even more ridiculous, when her boyfriend is actually part of Imperial propaganda. However at the same time I feel like there does have to be some poor ISB agent who has to check all of Spiff's lyrics to make sure there aren't actually secret messages like some of her fans claim.

[seeminglyseph]

I do love that the like. Purity Police were losing their shit about MaoMao being 17 and Jinshi being 24 and how problematic the age gap was and like. Plot twist he’s lying about his age too because like it wasn’t the most obvious thing about him, Jinshi is in deep cover and lying about his identity. He and MaoMao are absolutely in the same age category anyway because like. This is a period piece where 17 is fully an adult and MaoMao is more mature than most of the adults in the series and has on more than one occasion been the one teaching Sex-Ed to the people around her, like. It’s very infantilizing to treat her like she is somehow without agency.

Like there are very clear power dynamics in their relationship that the series is 100% aware of and like. Actively commenting on and dealing with, the potential of an age gap is like… that was the previous emperor and he’s dead now. Maybe because he was into really extreme age gaps *ahem* it is why some of his concubines had complications in childbirth, canonically. Like. Predatory age gap shit is canonically why the current emperor is like “I prefer women with huge breasts and have 100% been through puberty in a really obvious way.” And the kinda creepy young consort is like… feeling bad his dad preyed on her. He doesn’t want her himself he just like… seems to be a decent guy who isn’t gonna leave a girl to be “ruined” by his father being a pervert forever? Even if court politics is tricky about it. And maybe when she’s an adult she’ll be hot and that’s cool, but for now she can just live in the palace and be taken care of. There was no good outcome for her anymore after his father already had her as his concubine.

Honestly like. Apothecary Diaries is probably already commenting on like half the stuff people are kinda huffy about, in some way, it just like… some people take talking about it to be endorsement or don’t listen long enough to realize what’s actually being talked about. See Lishu is present and assume that’s the story being told. See that MaoMao is short and flat chested and assume a story being told.

I have seen so many people being like “oh my god she’s 17!!!” In response to Jinshi’s like. Mild flirting, like MaoMao isn’t capable of having a dirtier mind than like… 90% of the cast of this series. Proven repeatedly. Everyone forgets this girl is raised in and around a brothel, like “oh my god protect this baby” there is a class disparity but I think if it came down to it, MaoMao would absolutely *destroy* Jinshi. She would *wreck* every sense of innocence he has. She’s the one who keeps imagining him getting seduced by other men. He gets protective of her wellbeing, she put lipstick on him while his eyes were closed and decided even if it would be fun the threat to the realm was too great. They are technically both late teenagers, so adults AND idiot children.

And Gaoshun has to deal with them *and* his own son being the same age?? Does this man know any peace at all? Or is it just idiot teens as far as the eye can see? All adolescents all the time in Gaoshun’s Hell Palace Experience.