#and i still. don’t know how to feel
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me: why am i having nightmares
me: why is this person recurring in them
my facebook memories: oh by the way 9 years ago today …
#weird how it’s been almost a decade#and i still have such conflicting emotions about it#like right after it happened i didn’t believe anything was wrong bc i said okay#but jenna’s mom took one look in my eyes and with no context was like oh. she assaulted you#i had the same look in my eyes after#and like how could she do that if it wasn’t really assault#but i still didn’t believe it. bc i said yes#and then paige hit me years later with the hey. i’m sorry. that was fucked up#i was considerably older than you and insisted on you taking pills i had given you and then wouldn’t take no for an answe#and that was all the validation i needed for all the fear i had felt in the moment i said yes because. she knew. she knew it was fucked up.#and then i just never spoke to her again#until my mom died#and she reached out with the absolute kindest words and advice that helped so well i still use it regularly to this day#the only person#actually#who gave me advice that helped#and now she’s in my nightmares every night and my facebook memories every day#and i still. don’t know how to feel#bc other people have assaulted me or been questionably pushy#and that’s easy#not that there’s a ton but they’re all undeniably bad people#paige was. the first person to show me family or otherwise i could be treated kindly#paige and her mom gave me somewhere to go when my mom was throwing me into stools and rock walls and jean was doing meth#and paige also told me several stories of being drugged and assaulted as a child#and we were both still children#what do i do and where do i stand when the person who did something horrible to me is still a good person?#it’s funny. everyone knows who duane is. but no one who wasn’t around even knows i dated a girl named paige.#and yeah a part of me just doesn’t wanna talk about that night or any of the fucked up things that lead up to it#but also. to be honest. i don’t wanna hear paige slander.#today marks nine years and here i am. still protecting you. even just from the opinions of people who will never meet you or see you
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These cats have taken over my brain
Champion dose NOT like the cold tea, and he keeps hissing everytime Jon tries to warm it up in the microwave
Cat!martin by @ultramarinaa !!
#the magnus archives#tma#tma fanart#cat!martin#tbh I don’t even drink a lot of sweet/iced tea lol#I just gotta defend it#for my grandma’s honor#I don’t know how Martin would feel about sweet tea#I’m still surprised it’s not normal in England
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Begging swifties to understand that Taylor didn’t write reputation and Lover with the knowledge of how the relationship was going to end and that trying to “excavate” those albums for evidence to prove a specific theory as to why it ended is not how they should be viewed. Taylor wrote those songs feeling a very specific way because that’s what she was experiencing and she is now reflecting on them with hindsight and relates to them differently than when she first created them. These conflicting emotions can exist; how she views it now doesn’t diminish how she felt about it when she first released it.
#taylor swift#don’t know if I’m expressing myself as properly and as articulate as I’d like#but both of the emotions she’s feeling about the songs can coexist#like little lover can still be a love song that’s what it was for her for a while#but she can also look back and say ‘oh maybe this wasn’t the best’ but it doesn’t void what it was originally#like I keep seeing things like oh she wrote this lyric in lover about him not showing up and it’s like no that’s not right#like yes you can see her underlying anxieties and fears in those songs because she was open about them#it doesn’t mean she predicted how it would end#there was a point in time where she thought this man was the one and would write about feeling that way
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reigen you should tell him he’s not supposed to eat the green part
#doctorsiren#mob psycho 100#reigen arataka#shigeo kageyama#mp100 fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#originally mob wasn’t eating the green part#but my sister said that she thought he was because of the way Reigen was looking at him#the rendering didn’t turn out really the way I wanted it to#but it’s still good I think idk#painting characters over real photos is calming to me#the rake brush was a last minute decision but I think it saved the rendering bc I was not liking how it was looking prior to me doing that#also yes I know you *CAN* eat the green part of a watermelon#I don’t think I’ve done one of these redraws with Mob and Reigen where Mob wasn’t his little kid self#I just haven’t found a picture that feels right enough to redraw as normal mob and reigen#all of them have been little kid mob HHDUIHFIUF
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whatever happens, please don’t break
#god not a fucking DAY goes by where i don’t think of that one interview and this quote#does anybody have it word for word? please? i’ll pay you#literally every single time i think about how kunikida as w character was MADE for dazai. specifically to share his suffering#i actually sob into my hands because that means they were both destined for tragedy together and the long dark road they will walk#will at least not be lonely. because they have each other. they are each other’s light in the darkness.#DO YOU UNDERSTAND#bro the fact that kunikida is painfully aware of the imperfection of the world and how he still continues to fight for his ideals#paralleling dazai who finds humanity beautiful but cannot become attached bc he feels alienated from emotion#THE WAY THEY COULD HELP EACH OTHER????? SICK SICK SICK I AM SICK#i love kunikidazai sm i wish more ppl could see the potential#but some of you aren’t ready for the sheer perfection of their dynamic#also i’ve noticed that i am only capable of drawing dazai properly when it’s with kunikida what’s up with that 💀#and sorreyy i know their height difference isn’t THAT big but i didn’t realize until i was halfway into the coloring 😔💔#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#lotus draws
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(Mostly) Harumi centric doodle page for a friend
#mortal kombat 1#mk1#mortal kombat#harumi shirai#tomas vrbada#mk smoke#kuai liang#mk scorpion#hanzo hasashi#I still don’t know how to feel about her and Kuai Liang#unless nrs releases more content#I dunno I think they have potential to be a cute couple but for now it’s still sus#also! I love to hc that harumi got Tomas to open up to kuai#cause uhhh the Lin Kuei kinda killed his family#so harumi is like ‘ey bro they’re not so bad when you get to know them… except for bi Han… fuck that guy’#bi Han would highkey make a tree house and put up a ‘no girls allowed’ sign and she never forgave him for that#if bi Han ends up being the reason she dies in this timeline it would kinda be funny cause he’d be like ‘I never liked you’#and she’d be like ‘me neither you stupid boy’#and he’s like ‘yknow what this isnt even about kuai liang anymore- screw you’#doodles#my art
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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y’all do get that if dan and phil hard launch it will break the internet right? like people who haven’t thought about dnp since 2016 and literally everyone else with an online presence will know. suddenly there will be so many new eyes on our cute little community that we’ve managed to build from the ashes of the early phandom. it’ll be worldwide news that those guys from youtube who “weird girls” always shipped were actually together the whole time. it’ll be absolute chaos. it’s not that i don’t want them to hard launch if that’s genuinely what they want to do, i’m just afraid that it’ll send shockwaves through the entire internet that’ll shatter the nice little thing we’ve got going on here. i for one don’t want to be talking to an acquaintance in class next semester and hear them say “did you hear that dan and phil from youtube are together? that’s crazy! i never watched them ‘cause their fans were always so weird. i didn’t even know they were gay. i guess their fans bullied them out of the closet.” and then have to pretend to be normal.
#idk i feel like we’ve all gotten lost in the sauce of a hard launch and forgotten just how big of a deal it would be#it’ll be like the stir their coming outs made but even bigger#like most people still know them as the cat whisker guys from youtube and don’t even know they still post#maybe i’m totally overestimating the extent to which the rest of the internet would care but i don’t think i am#once again it’s not that i’m against a hard launch i just think that everyone who still cares about them and their content already knows#although if they wanted to generate buzz for a big project it would be a great move tbh#dan and phil#dnp#dan and phil games#dnpg#dan howell#daniel howell#danisnotonfire#amazing phil#amazingphil#phandom#phan#phil lester#dip and pip#phannie#that being said i do think i still want them to hard launch cuz the chaos would be funny#lee says things
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“peeta is bisexual” you guys are losing the vision. peeta isn’t even straight. katniss INVENTED sexuality for him. whatever katniss identifies as, he’s like “yeah, i’ll take that one” no questions asked
#katnissexual#i’m joking btw#and i agree with yall#he says you’ve ruined all other women for me#yeah twink we know#the hunger games#katniss everdeen#thg#nightlocked-in#everlark#peeta mellark#hunger games headcanon#hunger games incorrect quotes#thg incorrect quotes#bisexual peeta#peeta what’s your sexuality?#idk#what do u mean u don’t know#i’ve never thought about it#well i mean… do you like guys? do u like girls?#he thinks for a second…. girl#just one#katniss he says#i’m convinced in modern au’s when he’s dating someone else he just pictures katniss when fucking and then feels horribly guilty for it later#peeta why don’t you look at me during sex?#huh? oh glimmer uh… i just get distracted by how uh… good it feels. yeah that haha#katniss was his first love in every thing and not only was she his first love she was his ONLY love#so he’s never even considered being attracted to girls besides her#so when he tries to date he finds girls that are objectively attractive but on a scale of 1 to katniss they are still 1’s to him#and that never stops being a problem
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the psychological horror created by Hasbro’s desire to sell more toys rather than honour the desires of the original creator resulting in an immortal alicorn princess of friendship doomed to watch her friends grow old and die without her is so interesting to me. by trying to cater to children more you have accidentally created a reality in which death of the main characters friends as she lives on for centuries is not just implied but confirmed. idk it’s fascinating to think about
#EVEN MORESO BY G5#with discord in the comics clearly descended into misery without fluttershy#their absence speaks volumes#and I know kids are able to handle mature topics like death earlier than we often assume#but still it’s so strange to think about death of the main characters being canon and confirmed in the colourful pony cartoon#wild#mlp#major character death#character death#DONT GET ME WRONG I LOVED THE LAST EPISODE SO MUCH#it’s just !!!!! I wish twilight was growing old alongside them#I don’t like how much she looks like celestia too#she’s grown so apart from her roots it feels like it undoes much of her growth#at the same time it’s the best ending we could’ve hoped for all things considered#I JUST MISS HER ICONIC FRINGE
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Okay but the thing about veilguard reviews is I don’t care what the gaming review sites think. I especially don’t care what some random ytuber who’s probably just grifting right wing nutjobs for easy money and has never actually played the games before thinks. I don’t even care what an unrelated but accomplished rpg dev thinks
The only opinions I want to hear are from 7 trustworthy sickos (affectionate) who had their brain chemistry permanently altered over a decade ago by critically hated yet loved by me specifically video game Dragon Age 2, and only after I hear those opinions will I decide if I’m buying it or not
#I do have. a prediction#but I don’t know if people really care to hear that right now#so I’m hiding it here in the tags: I think it will be good from a game perspective#but it will lack the secret sauce that makes a good DA experience#so it’ll be commercially successful but kind of a let down to long time fans#and I could be completely wrong I have no fucking idea and haven’t seen most pre release stuff lmao#but idk the choices thing… that still bugs me a lot ngl#idk how it can feel like DA like that#guess we’ll see soon enough though#text#dragon age#shut up nerd#veilguard
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hate to say it, but part of ending the stigma around sexual assault means not assuming every woman blames herself. yes, female socialization encourages it, but that doesn’t make it a given, and the goal of all of these campaigns is to eventually diminish the proportion of women who do blame themselves. it is entirely possible, and increasingly common, for women to experience sexual assault and not feel shame or guilt, which we should be happy about. but instead, there are only so many times you can hear “you know it’s not your fault, right?” before it sounds like “it was your fault”. and there’s only so many times you can hear “don’t blame yourself” before it sounds like “you should blame yourself”. because it feels good to say, doesn’t it? sure, you don’t believe she’s guilty, but you do believe she should feel guilty, so that you can disabuse her of the notion. just something to consider.
#i think we are very pleased with the idea of female shame#even among people who genuinely do not believe women are at fault for being assaulted#you are still meant to pay the penance of suffering and self destruction#god fucking knows why#“i got mugged” “aww don’t blame yourself for walking around with those fancy shoes and visible wallet okay? it’s not your fault”#you’d be like girl what. i didn’t fucking say it was my fault but your mind sure jumped there fast 🤨#“my mom died” “wow. do you feel terrible crippling shame for everything you’ve ever done wrong in your life?#up to and including causing your mom’s death? because that would be totally wrong if you did”#like how could that possibly be an appropriate response#genuinely i think the feeling that i was going completely insane post-being raped because no one would believe i didn’t blame myself#was like. solidly half as traumatic as the actual event#like. it is okay not to feel guilty and shameful. it’s great actually. you’re not having the wrong response.
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Haha
#yanqing#honkai star rail#hsr yanqing#my immediate fixation on ice wielding child genius characters in every media I consume strikes again#idk I just think he’s neat!! and so is his gender#he’s definitely overdesigned but I do enjoy the general shape of his clothes#like wow… baggy outer layer AND baggy inner layer#how come you get to have two baggy layers#still don’t know that much about him even after reading his character stories on the wiki#so I’m hoping that his quest writes him well#I suppose there’s some degree of like interesting contrast in the fact that he’s very young on a ship full of people who live very long live#but I feel like regardless they really don’t give him much of a personality besides his hyperfixation on swords and the general naivety and#inexperience from youth yknow what I mean#I just think it would be cool to see like why he’s so ambitious! was he railroaded into being a knight because of his talents? did he try#to be accepted as a knight? what kinds of expectations is he facing and what expectations does he place on himself as a result#I really hope he isn’t just there to be a simpler minded child character for jingyuan to take care of
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Slaps my lavellan this bad boy can fit so many abandonment issues
edit: uploaded the right picture lol
#dragon age#solas#lavellan#dragon age inquisition#oc: avelea#solavellan#dai#my art#I could not bear to cover up solas’ neck and shoulders#I don’t know how the inquisitor got back to the team#but my hc is that they ended up finding her and helped her back to the palace for treatment#imagine the love of your life broke up with you#promised you answers and then disappeared without a trace#could be dead or alive#you’d feel insane! you’d go crazy#2 years pass and you start to feel normal again#BOOM HE’S BACK#also he still loves you#you changed him#made him hate himself more#and he still won’t choose you#kisses you one last time#implies you’ll never meet again#disappears again#personally I’d explode#but Lea definitely disassociated until the gang showed up
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DPXDC Prompt #94
Danny falls through a portal to the DC world from a natural portal that opened up while he was in mid fight with Skulker a fight that began at Vlads where the creep put a collar on Danny that kept him in ghost form, Vlad thought he’d force Danny to reveal his secret to his parents by taking away his human form. Looking around he’s in a dark city with dark smog colored skies. Unfortunately he’s stuck here as the portal closed leaving him trapped. He tried to find help but no one can see him in his ghost form. He starts tailing the vigilantes of this world and eventually follows one onto this space station through this tube (possessing inanimate objects sure comes in handy). He wasn’t expecting for the random British guy in a trench coat to see him.
#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc#dc x dp#danny fenton#danny phantom#writing prompt#poor danny#What if no one could see Danny like deadman#Danny is stuck in ghost form#Constantine has a headache especially from the ghost king that has apparently been tailing Batman for a week#ghost king danny#Batman had a feeling he was being tailed but it’s hard to prove when nothing is amiss#my asks are open#More Minty lore? Sure!#Honestly no one in my family knows I love Danny Phantom so I only own a glitch in time#It’s still my favorite show from the 2000s but at this point that probably has more to do with the phandom#I’d also like to reveal my DP inspired world soon but I have no clue how to go about it#Should I start a new blog? Or should I just post it here? This blog is meant for everything but I don’t want to bog it down#So that’s my rant take it or leave it but you can’t unread it!! Thanks for reading have a great day!
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I think Vash should try to save Wolfwood with his plant powers. Do you see my vision?
#trigun#trigun stampede#trigun spoilers#kinda?#vashwood#I hope I don’t hate the coloring on this by tomorrow I feel like it’s a little dark#still getting used to tristamp vash but I love how he glows#oh bonus points if you know the pose reference#my art
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