#and i still gotta go to a 4 hour long class in like a few minutes

[lunar-wandering]

why does my whole body hurt....

[yeonmuse]

SYNOPSIS — Park Sunghoon doesn’t usually like involving himself with those at Chaconne academy, but when he finds out his little sister’s music teacher attends and she starts getting a little too close she forces him to let his guard down. Now he’s gotta juggle new people and new emotions entering his life and she’s got to face her past in order to hold tight to him and her future.

ᥫ᭡ f!reader x Park Sunghoon ── 𝒢enre. Uni au. fluff, angst non idol enha. feats. ot7 [reqs are closed] ᝰ.ᐟ 𝓁ibrary 🎻

⍣ ೋ AUTHORS NOTES . Strong angst themes, slow burn but mostly fluff. I’m not sure where this idea had come from considering I have 4 unfinished series out right now but I wrote this in 4 days so lets fucking go i guess??? Includes Choi Yeonjun, Bae Jinyoung, Kim Sunwoo, Jung Wooyoung, Shen Ricky, Xu Jiaqi and Asaya Jurin.

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | ENDING

Sunwoo had been kind enough to let you borrow some of his clothes and stay in his dorm, he didn’t bother asking any questions, knowing that when the time came and you were ready to talk you would. You’d told him you wanted to be alone but even through the hardwood door he could hear how you cried for so long that you eventually tired yourself out and fell asleep on his bed. You ended up sleeping until the next morning, Sunwoo had thought about waking you up for classes but after remembering the state you were in when he’d found you last night he knew you would be grateful for the extra sleep. Which meant when you finally had woken you were left completely alone in his dorm and even though were truly grateful to him for having let you sleep in, part of you was wishing he had stayed too. Without your phone or notebook you had absolutely nothing to do. You got so bored that you sat on the couch for hours just flipping through tv channels and when he finally did return to the dorm he found you sitting on the couch watching old cartoons.

“She finally wakes.’’ he chuckles, throwing his bag onto the counter.

“Thank you for not waking me, and for letting me stay here.’’

“You know I don’t mind having you here yn, but if you are going to stay here longer I will need to know what happened last night.’’ that was the long awaited question from him that you'd completely dreaded speaking on, yet another person you had to tell about your mother. As hard as it was to open up to someone else about her, he was your friend, so you told him everything, completely leaving out the interaction between you and Sunghoon because you weren’t in the mood to hear yet another “i told you so” about Park Sunghoon. By the time you were done you’d left Sunwoo completely hating your mom.

“Do you know if she’s still there? Do the girls know who she is?’’

“I don’t know, I left everything last night, my wallet, my phone. I just can't go back right now Sun, not now, not when she knows it’s my room.”

“I’ll get your phone tomorrow, if you need anything else i'll ask just ask the girls, my roommates should be gone back home for a few days so you can stay here as long as you need while they’re gone.’’

“Thank you Sun, It means a lot.’’ Sunwoo would have done anything for you, you were someone he considered one of his best friends. Someone special to him that he cared for just as much as he cared for himself so of course he’d be the shoulder for you to cry on when you needed. He’d sat with you that entire night binging ghibli movies, something that you were meant to do with Sunghoon, it was supposed to be your new thing, but after last night you were not sure if he or Yoari would ever want to speak to you again.

Eventually the girls did find out that you had been staying at Sunwoos place, after telling them about the night you’d had when you ran away you made them swear not to tell anyone else where you were, not wanting to risk the possibility of your mom knowing where you had been. Though the secret of you being at Sunwoo’s place hadn’t lasted long when jiaqi had accidentally let it slip in front of Yeonjun who’d told Wooyoung, Haknyeon, Jinyoung and eventually Jake and Jay. They’d all been happy to know that you were completely safe and sound with Sunwoo and even though the rest of them had no idea why you’d run away they were just grateful to know you were okay.

Meanwhile Sunghoon had completely shut everyone out other than Jay or Jake, though when either of them would even mention your name he’d pull his headphones over his ears or simply walk away, his emotions from the previous night still weighing heavy on him.

Yoari of course missed you though, as heart broken as she had been at your broken promise she missed seeing your face every day and how you’d praise her playing or tell her how proud you were of her. Without you showing up for classes she was forced to sit and practice with her mother who in her eyes was an awfully dreadful teacher. Of course she loved her mom, but when it came to the love she had for music the two of them never saw eye to eye.

“Okay i can't do this anymore are we really going to act like he’s not acting like an ass right now?’’ Jake stands up from his spot on Sunghoons bed, breaking the silence between the three of them.

“Jake let it go.’’ Jay insisted, knowing that it wasn’t the best idea to pry in what had been going on between you and Sunghoon.

“No, because he’s being fucking stubborn, you turned her away last night now she’s cozying up with Kim Sunwoo.’’ Jake regretted it the moment he’d let the words spill from his lips, what was meant to be a secret had spilled from his mouth so easily.

“You’re no better than Choi Yeonjun.’�� Jay sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“What do you mean cozying up?’’

“She's not cozying up to anyone, she just stayed with him a couple of days after the recital.’’ Jay tried his best to clarify, but by the look on Sunghoons face he’d only made things worse. Sunghoons jaw clenched and he remained silent, he wasn’t sure how to feel about the sudden revelation that you’d stayed with Sunwoo the exact same night you missed your date with him, but he knew one thing was for certain and that was that he should have never asked you out to begin with.

-

Since a week had gone by and there had been no sign of your mother you’d eventually returned to your own dorm room, you had still been unsure of whether or not you wanted to tell your dad and step mom about your mother showing up to the school. If he’d known that then you’d be forced to pick up and leave once again, and you couldn’t do that to him, you couldn’t do that to yourself.

You had started just finding your happiness again and finally returned to some sense of normalcy, though it wasn’t entirely normal without your daily visits to the Park house. You now constantly sit staring at your phone for hours waiting for a text, a video, or even a call from Sunghoon, despite knowing it wouldn’t happen. Eventually your phone did light up with a ding, making you scramble to go for it and immediately open your messages. Though you were only disappointed as your eyes skimmed through the message from Mrs. Park herself, a message that stated that you had now been let go with no sort of explaination.

When Jurin and Jiaqi found out they’d been pissed. Knowing that the job and your visits with Yoari was something you often looked forward to, knowing that Yoari was someone close to your own heart. They had been so pissed that while you’d locked yourself in your room and cried yourself to sleep they drove all the way to Sunghoons place just to rip him a new one.

By then Sunghoon had already sent Jay and Jake on their way, wanting to be alone with his thoughts that he was currently completely drowning in. He was completely stranded within the forests of his own mind when he made it halfway up the stairs and was forced to walk back down hearing a knock at the door. He assumed that it had been one of the guys coming back for something they’d forgotten and was caught off guard the moment the door swung open and Jiaqi and Jurin stood on the other side.

“We need to talk.’’

“What is there to talk about?” his words earned a scoff from Jurin who’d already been fed up with him before he had even opened the door.

“Don’t play that game with me Park, you really have some fucking nerve. I should have told her keep away from you the moment she mentioned your name.’’

“Funny you had to warn her about me when she’s the one that's full of it.’’

“Oh you are full of shit Park Sunghoon. All you care about is your fucking self.’’

“I only care about myself? That’s rich coming from you two when your friend is the selfish one. lied to me and my sister so she could fuck around with Kim Sunwoo.’’

“Okay what the fuck are you even talking about?’’

“So now you’re acting like you didn’t know?’’

“Okay are you stupid or do you just enjoy pissing women off?’’ Jiaqi finally inserts herself into the conversation earning an annoyed side eye from Sunghoon.

“If you’d answered your fucking phone when we called you’d know we couldn’t even find her because she ran off the night of the recital.”

“What are you talking about she was here.’’

“She came here looking for you. The night of the recital her-” Jiaqi was quick to shake her head in disapproval at her friend's choice in words. As mad as the two of them had been with Sunghoon, it wasn't their place to discuss the events of that night with him.

“None of that matters, we’re here because you’re being fucking selfish. She got fired because of you.’’

“I didn't even tell my mom about the date in the first place, if she’s fired then it's because she lied to Yoari, not once but twice. If neither of you could tell me why the fuck she was at Kim Sunwoos that night then this conversation is over.’’ slamming the door shut he turns around making his way towards the staircase. Yoari came running down almost immediately after.

“Was that her? Did she come back?’’ her eyes lit up thinking that you’d finally come back, being completely unaware that her mother had already fired you. Truth be told, Sunghoon hadn’t known about it either and he wouldn’t have been if it hadn’t been for Jurin and Jiaqi.

“Just Jake and Jay Yoa.’’ As he watched his sister return to her room with a look of disappointment on her face he couldn't help but dwell on that simple detail, why hadn’t his mother told them?

Sunghoon had waited all night for his mother to return home, and eventually she did when the clock struck twelve and Yoari was fast asleep.

“Hey sweetheart, didn’t think you’d be up at this time.’’ she knocks on his bedroom door and enters with a smile.

“Mm just have a lot on my mind.’’

“Oh? Well, let’s talk about it. It’s been a while since you and I had a one on one chat.’’ She responds a little too enthusiastically as she takes a seat on the edge of the bed.

“Did you fire yn?’’

“Of course not Sweetheart? What would lead you to think that?’’

“Friends from school came over today, friends of the two of us. Said that you’d fired her today because of me?’’

“Well i did tell you that people we think are special to us may not turn out to be what we expect them to be, the girls probably a liar just like her mother.’’

“What?’’

“I said they may not turn out to be-”

“No what you said after that, about her mother.” Sunghoon wasn’t sure how she had known anything about your mother when she knew for a fact you’d said nothing about her to her in particular.

“Well the lying trait and broken promises trait must come from the mother.’’

“No you said it like- like you knew her. Like she was someone you’d known.’’

“Well I mean I did meet with her yes, but I only wanted to get to know the girls parents.’’

“Then why not her father? What do you mean you met with her mother?’’ Sunghoon had gone from slightly annoyed to completely furious in a matter of seconds. He didn't understand what any of this had to do with her firing you.

“Well, I did have someone look into her and I reached out. Apparently she’d been looking for her for quite some time, her and that father of hers. So I told her that she attended Chaconne along with you and your friends.’’

“What the hell does that have to do with you firing her? You know what that doesn’t even matter right now. That’s exactly why you were asking her those questions the night we went to the movies isn’t it, you didn’t give a shit about getting to know her you wanted information.’’

“Hoon, Language.’’

“Do you know anything about her mother? About what she did or how she treated her and her father?’’ at Sunghoons question, his mother immediately fell silent. She didn’t know, she knew absolutely nothing about the woman other than the fact that she had been looking for you.

“I- Sunghoon it’s her mothe-”

“Don’t. that woman single handedly ruined her entire family. Not to mention the amount of times she’d lied and manipulated both yn and her father and you lead her right back to her.’’

“I- I didn’t know that there was anything wrong with-”

“Yeah and you didn't care did you, all you cared about was getting what you wanted out of the situation whatever that had been.” It was then that something had finally seemed to click in his mind, he’d remembered what Jurin had said before Jaqi had stopped her from talking. “If you’d answered your fucking phone when we called you’d know we couldn’t even find her because she ran away the night of the recital.”

“When did you meet with her?” Sunghoon couldn’t even be bothered with the tears that fell down his mothers face, after all she’d done it to herself.

“What-”

“Her mother when did you meet with her mother”

“T-the night of the recital why?’’ Ignoring his mother calling out his name he’d already grabbed his keys and made his way down the stairs. He realized that he’d made a mistake, a big one.

His mother sat silently in the room suddenly drowning in her own guilt. She had let her own envy and pathetic jealousy get in the way and caused an even larger ripple between her and her kids. All because she had felt incompetent and lacking as a mother she’d involved herself in a young girl's life having known nothing about it. She felt ashamed as a mother knowing she’d allow her selfishness to get the best of her. Instead of being the mother figure that her children once knew her ass she’d acted conniving and sneaky.

Sunghoon felt so much guilt pouring in about the night of the recital and everything he said. About ignoring you and not having said anything to you for a week after, if he had just listened to you and everything you had to say he would have known, He would have forgiven you. If he had just picked up his phone when the others called he would have known that you werent okay.

When he finally did arrive at your dorm he found Sunwoo standing outside preparing to knock, he didn’t know how to feel knowing about the two of you having been close but right now wasn’t the time to let his jealousy get the best of him he just needed to talk to you. The door swung open and rather than pay attention to the guy standing in front of you, your eyes had fallen upon him and he froze almost immediately.

“Yn.’’ Before he could even explain himself Jurin immediately cuts him off.

“What the hell is he doing here.’’

“Fuck, Jurin can you not get involved for two seconds I just want to talk to her.’’

“Am I missing something here?’’ Sunwoo questions, getting completely ignored as Sunghoon watches Jurin shake her head at you in disapproval.

“Give us a minute. Please?’’

Jurin sighs, her and Sunwoo stepping inside and closing the door behind them leaving the two of you alone to talk.

“I- I shouldn’t have said what I said that night. I shouldn’t have shut you out or- I just let my emotions get the best of me and I acted like a dick. I should have let you explain…should have let you talk but I didn’t.’’

“You really have a funny way of acting Sunghoon, you make someone feel special to you and then the moment things go south you immediately shut them out if they don’t act how you want.’’

“Fuck, I know I fucked up yn. You just came here, you came in and you changed everything about myself that I thought I knew, everything I was so sure of and when it all came down to it I blamed you when I got vulnerable and my feelings got complicated.’’

“So you tell me I'm like my mother? You know what she did, you know how- you know how hard it was for me.’’

“I didn’t mean it, any of it, I got annoyed, I got upset, my feelings just got the best of me. You know I’d never intentionally hurt you.’’

“No Sunghoon I don’t know because you never talk, you never tell me how you’re feeling, even the night of the recital you just shut me out.’’

“I didn’t know. I didn’t know what happened that night I didn’t know that she- that your mother came back.’’

“What..? Sunghoon….Sunghoon how do you even know that..?’’ You knew for a fact that the only people aside from Sunghoon that knew about your mother were Jiaqi, Jurin and Sunwoo and you were more than sure that none of them would have said a word about what happened that night to anyone else, so how did he know?

“My mom..”

“Your mom, Sunghoon what does your mom have to do with any of this.’’

“She, she found your mom. She told her where you were the day of Yoari’s recital. All of those questions she was asking that night, about you and your parents…she was just trying to get information out of you.’’

“What..?”

“Yn I didn’t– I didn’t know that she had been doing any of it, I only found out today, she didn’t even tell me or Yoari that she had fired you she-”

“I want you to stay away from me Sunghoon.’’

“Yn”

“Whatever your mother was trying to accomplish, whatever she thought she was doing by bringing my mother here, I hope it was worth it for both of you.’’

“Yn I didn’t know-”

“Just go Sunghoon, tell Ari that i’m sorry I disappointed her.’’ He stood watching your back as you made your way back inside, joining Jurin and Sunwoo and leaving him alone.

Chapter 5

When the others found out what Sunghoon’s mother had done no one really knew what to say to you. Sunghoon had stopped hanging around, leaving Jay and Jake to spend most of their time with you and the others. They all refused to bring up the topic, it had been obvious to them for quite some time now that something was going on between you and Sunghoon, and it was obvious that whatever had been going on between the two of you had completely broken you both but no one dared mention it. Jurin and Jiaqi would try their best to get you out of the dorm on the days you had no classes but most days you stayed locked to the confinement of your room wasting away. It got so bad that eventually the girls decided to do the only thing they knew would raise your spirits, even if it meant you possibly getting upset with them for doing something you’d told them absolutely not to do.

A knock at the door stole your attention from your momentary focus on the bedroom ceiling.

“I’m not going Jurin, I told you both just go without me.’’

“Yn, darling open the door.’’ Having suddenly heard your stepmother's voice and shuffling on the other side of the door followed by your fathers voice sent you into a panic.

“Starfish, let us in.’’

As if you couldn’t believe the two of them had actually been here you stumble out of bed and shuffle to the door swinging it open in surprise to see that they actually stood on the other side. For a while you sat in silence while the two of them prepared the food they’d brought along with them knowing you hadn’t eaten much in the past few days as told by the girls. When you all finally sat down and dug in, the two of them remained just as patient as ever waiting for you to finally speak.

“I told them not to call you guys.’’

“Sweetheart, we're your parents, we don’t care how much you think you can carry on your own, you're still our little girl. This isn’t something you should be carrying all on your own.’’

“She showed up here, of all places she showed up here.’’ the two of them make their way over to you, sandwiching you between themselves as they allowed you to get out your tears

“We know.’’

“Y-you know? They told you?’’

“Sunghoon called sweetheart.’’

“What?’’

“He called right after the girls did and said that you needed us. He told us about everything and apologized even though it wasn’t quite his fault. And we met with your mother before coming here.’’ Your step mother reassures you, smoothing out your hair and wiping the dry tears from your cheeks as she and your father spoke.

“She apologized to your father, left him the money she received after selling your old childhood home.’’

“W- when did you?’’

“Before we drove here, Sunghoon and his mother were kind enough to let us talk in their home. listen sweetheart we know that you aren't entirely over what happened then, but she does want to see you, and talk to you. If it’s not something that you’re ready for then we fully understand, but if you think you’re ready then, we’ll be right there with you.’’

You weren’t sure what to think of all of it, so many things had all been thrown at you at once that it all felt surreal. It felt like you were having some outer body experience of a ghost watching the events of her life unfold before her eyes. At first when your parents presented the idea of meeting your mother to you you wanted to completely shut it down and shut her out but then you realized you’d been doing exactly what you had yelled at Sunghoon for doing with you and the others, you had been shutting her out. You and your father had shut her out and sacrificed so much for so long that you’d not even realized you had been neglecting yourself by continuing to run away and avoiding it. You no longer wanted to run, you’d found a place that truly felt like home, amongst a group of people that made you feel loved and accepted for the first time.

You’d taken a long time to think it over eventually deciding that you did want to talk to her, wanted her to know how she scared you back then, how much she’d broken your heart as a child but most of all how hard it was to go through life knowing you’d never had your mother to run to about the things that mattered most in your life. So after having cleaned yourself up and making yourself look presentable you and your parents drove back to the Park residence, the place you’d never thought that you would find yourself stepping into again after the events that had unfolded.

Mrs Park had pulled you aside while Mr. Park and your parents had gone out back to give you some space. The silence between the two of you was absolutely suffocating, you weren’t sure what you were to say to her but thankfully she was the first to speak.

“I wanted to apologize, I crossed a line not only as your boss but as an adult, as the mother of two kids and i’ve never been more ashamed. I realized how close you had been getting with Sunghoon and Yoari, how much she loved you and how further apart I was growing for the post of them and it’s pathetic to say that it made me feel like less of a mother. That was my fault not yours and I shouldn’t have taken that out on you and your family. It’s my fault that they prefer spending time with you since me and their father or never home. You’ve made them both the happiest I've ever seen since you’d started working here and instead of envying that I should have been grateful. I’m dearly sorry yn. I know that an apology cannot make up for any pain i’ve caused but I do hope that you can one day forgive me for involving myself in your family affairs. And if you’d like…only if you want i’d like you to continue teaching Yoari, she really does adore you.’’

You weren’t really sure what to say to her at that moment, she had been right, a simple apology couldn’t make up for years worth of trauma suddenly crashing down on her after two years. As much as she wanted to accept the apology and tell her that she understood she just couldn’t bring herself to speak a single word to her.

“Honey.’’ both your gazes shift to Mr. Park who’d at some point made his way back inside to retrieve his wife.

“She’s here.’’ Once your mom enters the house, joining the three of you in the kitchen Mrs.Parks looks over to you, giving you a nod and an apologetic smile as she goes to join her husband. Your mom didn’t forget to thank the two of them as they went out back to join your parents again.

When your mom finally did look at you she seemed apologetic, conflicted, anxious, but most of all joyful to finally be seeing her little girl. While she inched closer you took two steps back wanting to keep a distance between the two of you.

“You look just like him, your father. You grew up so beautifully.’’ While you remained silent, she took that as an opportunity to continue.

“I remember when you were first born, you looked so much like me but you had your fathers eyes. Everyone used to call you my little mini me.’’ she laughs at the memory, seemingly choking back tears as she watches you yourself force your own tears back.

“Six years, six years of absence. You can’t make up for missing six years of my life with old stories.’’

“Lovebug I was unwell.’’

“No- you don’t get to call me that. You don’t get to miss six years of my life and just come back and be the world's greatest mother. Do you know everything I went through? Everything that dad went through? How many schools I’ve attended or jobs dad had to go through just to keep us out of your mess.’’

“Yn..’’

“I was sixteen, sixteen having to watch dad pick up all the pieces after letting go of the woman he loved. I had to let go of my mother. Do you know how traumatizing it is to watch your own mother completely lose it and refuse help when she spirals out of control? You were supposed to do better. For me. For dad. For yourself.’’ The tears came pouring down your face, betraying your best efforts to force them back.

“Yn I wasn’t well, you know that I wasn’t. It got tiring, dealing with being sick it made me bitter and spiteful. I may have been your mother but I'm also human and I wasn’t perfect, I'm still not. It can be a terrible thing watching the world pass you by when your life is wasting away. Knowing that there are worse people in the world that have all the things they want in the palm of your hands but the good ones have to waste their lives. I became bitter having to spend most of my days inside watching everyone else live their lives not just for them , but for their families. I know that doesn’t make what I put you and your father through any better, but I was clinging on to the last of my sanity in those moments sweetheart.’’

“You were supposed to try harder, for me. It was like I wasn’t important to you.’’ Your mothers heart shattered to pieces watching her only child, her precious daughter break down all because of her own actions.

“Yn you and your father were the most important things in my life, having you was one of my most amazing accomplishments no matter how many milestones in my life that I cross. I loved you and your father more than anything but I needed help, I needed time to get back to a healthy place before I could continue being a wife or a mother. When you and your father left I was alone and lost, It made me fall down an even deeper hole than i’d already been in before losing you and it took years of therapy and getting help to get back to the place I was before I became so bitter.’’

You’d wanted to find some flaw, some lie in the things that she had been saying because everything in you had been screaming not to forgive her. But looking at her and the way she looked at you, the tears that stained her own cheeks you could tell that she was being completely genuine. It was so hard to grab for you, the woman you’d resented yet yearned so much for in your life was standing right before you pouring her heart out after six years. You wanted to let it go, to forgive her and move on with your life as if none of this had ever happened, as if you’d never seen her but you couldn't. As much as you wanted to hold yourself back and hold the grudge against her you couldn’t after all she was your mother. Your mother that had never done anything to harm you or hurt you, your mother that would once sing you to sleep and shower you with kisses when you’d come home from school. Your mother who you knew even then had been growing weaker and weaker when she had first gotten sick, when she’d first started to lose her spark.

When your mom had finally gone it left you with an empty feeling, she was grateful that both you and your dad had given her a chance to apologize face to face, to make up for all the things she’d caused and right her wrongs. But she also knew that if you were fully going to forgive her again, if she wanted to be in your life, she would have to give you time. Having found her way back to you she didn’t care how long it would take or the lengths she’d have to go through for you to need her again.

Once your mom had gone, the adults had finally joined you back in the house. The first thing your father did was press a kiss on your forehead and tell you how proud he was of you for being an adult about the situation. For giving your mom the opportunity to speak and talk to you, and allowing yourself to move on made him realize how much you’d truly grown up.

Having gotten all of your emotions out and partially come to your senses you’d finally realized that the entire time you hadn’t seen Sunghoon nor Yoari come down the stairs at all, not even once. Mrs. Park seemed to have caught you looking around and it wasn’t that hard for you to figure out exactly what you had been looking for.

“He took her to the movies.’’

“H-huh”

“Sunghoon, he took Yoari to the movies. He thought it’d be best to take her out while you and your parents met with your mom.’’

-

Jurin and Jiaqi were startled and confused to say the least as the dorm room door shot open and you came rushing in making a beeline for your door. They’d be even more confused hearing the sound of shuffling and things being thrown around your room until you’d finally come speeding out wearing your outfit and hair from the night of the recital. They were simply left lost as you left them with a simple “i’ll explain later” before rushing to Sunwoos dorm. Sunwoo who had gotten halfway through his bowl of ramen before you came banging on the door asking him to drive you to the theater which he of course did.

Meanwhile Sunghoon couldn’t seem to stop his thoughts from drifting to what could have possibly been going on at home. As much as he wanted to be attentive to the movie that Yoari had seemingly been enjoying, he couldn’t. The only thoughts swarming his head were pertaining to you. Were you okay? Did your parents see you yet? Did you leave after your dad found out about your mom? So many thoughts invading his head that he knew would only remain unanswered.

🏷️ @jwonistic @bubblytaetae @pkjay @heesallure @planetmarlowe @dreeki @butterflywonz @lillotus17 @squiishymeow @river-demon-slayer @sol3chu @st4rryst4r @firstclassjaylee @right-person-wrong-time @riribelle @gaytron3000 @heesunghooney @i03jae @blackhairandbangs @sunooqvrlsx @addictedtohobi @enaile23 @ivyvioletcarson @kristynaaah @starbyeol1512 @tinyteezer @jkslvsnella @brianashiftz @starbyeol1512 @miuwonis @zaycie @hollxe1 @yukiscoffeebreak

[pro-mammonologist]

I've got some headcanons!

Even though Mammon's far from a virgin by the time he and MC get together, he doesn't last very long the first few times they have sex because he's so excited to be with them.

As a dom, I think Mammon would lean more towards being fun and caring than a Hard Strict Daddy Dom™️. He can be firm, but he doesn't want to come across as harsh, and the idea of giving them an Actual Punishment leaves a bad taste in his mouth. He's got a long history of being punished. He also won't be very comfortable with degrading MC. He'll call them stuff like "my slut," but anything relating to their worth or intelligence is a hard limit for him.

Degradation is a hard limit for him as a sub, too. He'll let MC tie him up if they want, under the condition that they don't leave the room until after he's been untied. He's into impact play (specifically caning), electrostimulation, and wax/temperature play. Probably (definitely) more but that's what my mind is fixated on rn lol

He's 100000% got a praise kink (big shocker, I know). If he's subbing, he needs plenty of praise throughout aftercare. If he's domming, he still needs some praise - but that's got more to do with reassuring him that he did well and didn't hurt them, and can wait until the post-scene discussion

He loves giving and receiving overstimulation. He's greedy for his own pleasure as well as MC's. He likes to be edged - well, he likes the payoff - and could be talked into short-term chastity, but I couldn't see him being alright with anything longer than 24 hours (especially if there's a chastity device involved).

He *could*, in theory, edge MC. But he caves almost as soon as they start begging.

I have sooooo many more headcanons about Mammon as both a dom and a sub (and I'm more than happy to share) but I need to go to bed lol

Also, I love your blog! I'm so glad there's someone else who loves Mammon so much!

-- 🐦‍⬛ anon [this is my first time submitting an ask - is this nickname taken?]

I am going to address all of these individually.

1. Yes. Accurate. And I feel like the demons have low expectations for humans sexual prowess since humans have a lower tolerance for everything and also the fact that since they are western demons, they likely have interacted with the western hemisphere the most and anyone who has take a history class can tell you it’s been puritan af up until the 60s.

Also to add on to that. He’s not as embarrassed by the fact that he’s cumming fast but due to the fact he’s cumming insanely fucking hard to the point he can’t do as many rounds.

2. He’s a cocky ass bastard when he doms. He can try to be hard but he’s the kind to immediately melt after Mc does something too cute. He’s mostly cocky and teasy and praisey. And also he’s nervous about degradation too. The only way he’d do it is if you gave him very detailed and precise instructions or if he was like in a random context “damn you��re a real slut for some bacon” and then he gets scared that he offended you but you’re like “I’m a slut for you mammon.” And then he’s just shook to his core.

3. Yeah for real, he’ll be your slut and that’s about it. Mammon won’t do anything to Mc he wouldn’t want done to him. Bondage kinda pisses him off in my opinion like— he’d be for it but then he’d be like 😡😡😡 “let me out I’m losing it” and not in a cute pathetic way but in a damn whys he look so pissed?

Electro. Yes. Wax. Yes. Temperature. Yes. But I gotta know why you think he likes caning I cannot see him liking pain toys that much. I can see the sensational side of his masochism but like something real hard??? Nah he’s a baby. I just can’t see it.

4. Yeah there’s no discussion there. I think people are weird if they don’t have a praise kink. For mammon he goes nuts for it tho.

5. Yes, he’s the greediest most eager bastard out there and I can see him always down for it too. If he’s not down for it, then he really really really needs to rest or relax and maybe sex shouldn’t have been on the table period. Mammon wouldn’t edge for long, he likes the idea, but the actual wait kills him. And yea, chastity might kill him too and he’d have some hard ass limits. I feel like he wouldn’t like a device at all. Shit I can’t even see him going past 24 minutes, let alone a whole day with a device. He likes pressure and pain but he doesn’t like having his greed suppressed that badly. Of course, who knows, if Mc begs he’d do anything.

6. Yeah…. He’d cave so hard. He’d push and push and push himself to edge Mc but fail after making them hold back 2 times.

Mammon also is (in my mind) the most shy about his kinks because he’d face bullying whether he’d dom or sub sooo. Him getting to admit everything would be so hard.

Also no, it’s not taken.

[x-birdsong-x]

An insane amount of Adams headcanons

of varying topic.

-She gets a dog post-canon. A five-month-old German Shepherd. Black medium-long coat and tan socks on her front leggies. Her name’s Rue - like the flower. Nicknames Rubes, Rue-Bee because she nearly got stung her first day around, and Kanga-Rue. She’s a good girl. She can’t eat chicken. Has a lot of fancy martingale collars.

-Don’t ever call her Jessica. It’s Jess. If not Adams to the team. She’s always just been Adams to House especially (and post-ep 4 and ep 6’s endings mostly, that’s important to her.)

-When it’s late and nobody else is there, her favorite part of the hospital has to be the waterfalls inside.

-Mix of (over)analysis in this one but still very much HC: Adams’ parents are fine with, say, mentioning people they know who are LGBTQ+, hearing about it on the news and stuff like that, but they don’t want their own kids to “get involved with it.” Adams would never have brought it up or wanted to bring it up as a teen even if she had acknowledged it then, avoidant as she is. Her parents want her to get married, she knows her dad’s other family especially expects her to have kids with no understanding if she out-loud says she’s never once in her life wanted that. Present-time, she’s definitely never going to bring it up. Her parents barely even know much about she and her ex splitting up, let alone why, going off Risky Business’ ending. Adams is canonically still in-contact with her parents, but she lives her life in secret.

Pre-canon/as a teen, I don’t think she really thought much about it. She’s fine with it, wouldn’t exactly have shoved it away if the full thought had crossed her mind, but she just doesn’t think about it for herself. She finds she likes to talking to a girl in passing between classes or at the end of the day? Yeah, so? She’s gotta go home and get this work done. She doesn’t like the thought of meeting a guy, getting married, everything that could come with that? Whatever, she’ll just put it off for as long as she can.

Headcanons-included or not, I think getting together in the first place and getting married was on some level convenient, potentially for her and her ex, given (even with all my problems with ep 17,,) how soon everything went bad and how soon they split up. Similar to her pushing herself so hard in school post-nyc- telling her mom she’s engaged, getting married, especially to someone mom thinks "calms her down," is going to make her mom happy. It’s going to put her in her mom’s (surface, easily lost) good-graces for a while. Even if, obviously, it doesn’t erase the problems. Her dad especially doesn’t like that she's nicer when interacting with her partner than she is with him and her mom.

Canon-time, year separated from her ex, I still don’t think she really thinks about it. So she’ll play around with Park? What about it?

Post-canon, if she offhandedly mentioned a girlfriend at some point, I don’t think anyone would be surprised outside, maybe, surprise that she’s been seeing/has met someone in the first place given her “I don’t have time for that” when House was still around. I don’t think any friends of hers, at work or otherwise (not that she seems to have many people she’s close to outside PPTH), would be surprised if she starts seeing or briefly mentioning a girl.

-She’s got a low heat tolerance. And it’s annoying. Winter gets cold and she has times at random where it takes her a while to adjust to the chill and/or she feels cold for no good reason, but she’d rather it be freezing to the point of needing to warm up than too hot to cool down. Resulted in a nice issue with headaches, especially as a teen. Overheat > Get a migraine > Go into cooler place > Migraine dies down > Go back somewhere warmer > Migraine immediately gets worse > Stuck with it > Eye hurts > Go to bed > Get woken up a few hours earlier than usual the next morning because aching eye socket feels like it’s being crushed > Migraine nausea > What the fuck

-She grew up with dogs. Big dogs. Sadie, Rough Collie x German Shepherd who was the oldest and one of the two the kids really grew up with. Lucy, an old black Lab they got off dad’s brother who was around until Adams was five and liked to try steal hot drinks. Shep, a Border Collie who was dad’s boy, and Sheba, a Rough Collie who was mom’s girl.

Adams was closest with Sadie - also the only one who would choose to sleep upstairs every night. Adams’ room was always the coldest (thank god) so Sadie would sleep in with her.

-Horsegirl. Her parents don’t like horses. Her dad quote “doesn’t trust them” and her mom is intimidated by them but tolerated it for the kids.

Her horse was Calliope, a dark bay tobiano Paint x Percheron who was only eight when they got her. Ollie’s horse was Zephyr, a black Quarter. He was fourteen when they got him.

She started riding when she was eight with a friend of her mom’s, the woman who owned the place. She competed a couple of times when she was twelve and thirteen- jumping or cross country, she could not get into dressage- but by the time she was fourteen she preferred trail riding so much more that she mostly stopped with competing, which is when she got Cal - who also did better trail riding. She took on a handful more shows when she was fifteen with a different horse, a smaller handful when she was seventeen-eighteen.

Evening/early morning trail rides when it’s not too hot and it’s just her and the animals and there’s a cold breeze? That’s the best part. Always has been. She’d sneak out of the house early to go to the yard with one of the dogs (Sadie, 99% of the time) before anyone else got up, especially when she could tell she wouldn’t have been able to interact with anyone without snapping. There was this trail she’d go on with a little creek that would eventually lead into a clearing/small field where she could hitch Cal and hang with the dog(s).

Going to see the horses was the first thing that really got her out of her room and out of the house post-NYC. Eventually.

-She loves cats although they never had any outside a few at the yard that weren’t really theirs so much as they were barn cats. If people were calm enough around them they’d lounge around if they were in the mood and give a sniff. It was Skipper, Tom, Pepper, Tabby, and King. Skipper was a solid gray three-legged sweetheart, Tom was a tuxedo, Pepper was a gray tabby, Tabby was a brown tabby, and King was another tuxedo. Adams was closest with Skipper but King was just as friendly and he absolutely loved the dogs - he’d jump off his perch to run over and greet Sadie as soon as he saw her. Her parents don't like cats.

Skipper had been their neighbors' adult (20+) daughters' cat, once. Sort of. Ignored and left outside to curl up in a flowerpot on the back doorstep and get fed by the much nicer neighbors across the road. Eventually, the girl took Skipper to the yard (she had no horses, thank god) and just left her there.

Before Skipper became a yard cat, Adams has this vivid memory of her mom coming into her room one summer night to close her window when she was little - The curtains had been shut hours ago, and her mom paused before asking her if she’d left a cuddly toy on the windowsill. She’d said no, been asked if she was sure she hadn’t, and then came a quietly shocked “Oh- damn cat’s in here.”

Skipper had made her way over to the house at some point, figured out a way to climb up to Adams’ window, and made herself comfortable completely undetected. They stayed there for a pretty long time with Adams giving Skipper all the pets and begging for her to be allowed to stay. She loved that cat.

Neighbors' daughter also had a Border Collie named Ellie. She'd bark constantly, and Adams' parents always told her never to go near her (both because the neighbors weren't friendly and they didn't believe Ellie was friendly). Ellie was kept outside, usually around back with a doghouse by the back door (next to where Skipper's flowerpot was). They fed her fine, she had water, they threw toys out for her, but they never once interacted with her and if they did, it was to tell her off for barking.

Adams snuck out one night, Ellie noticed her through the fence when she passed the bottom of the neighbors' driveway, and Adams decided screw it. She went up there, held her hand out for Ellie to sniff, and theory confirmed: Ellie was friendly, at least with people. She stayed there for as long as she could petting Ellie through the fence and promised her she'd make a habit of visiting from then on when she had to get moving.

The two dogs at the yard were Saffie and Archie - two Field Spaniels. They found Shep very strange.

She’s always gotten along with all the animals a lot better than she has with family.

-They weren't super rural, but they had a lot of land and the yard was walking-distance away, just a bit quicker if she cut through a bit of a wooded area. Nearest neighbor on their side of the road was walking-distance but still fairly far apart.

-Somehow a member of the Never Broken A Bone club. Though her dad accidentally dislocated her shoulder when she was younger. She can’t remember exactly how young but young enough that she let him walk next to her and pick her up because they were out with the dogs and he decided to pick the kids up by the arms and spin them.

-Misophonia for DAYYYSSS. Chewing is the worst, she absolutely can not stand the sound of chewing. She’s gotten pretty good at masking it but it’s a lot more difficult to ignore around family when they leave her in constant fight andor flight in the first place.

-She picks her nails when she’s anxious (Canon!) and pretty often she’ll “click” her nails when fidgeting. Rim of her thumbnail scraping under another and clicking when quickly pulled back.

-She plays the penlid game and it’s a terrible way for someone who gets easily angry to fidget because the lid will always at some point end up flinging across the room and/or the pen will snap away and stab her hand. It makes her angrier. She keeps doing it.

(Canon!)

-There are certain scents she avoids. There’s this handsoap that smells exactly like where they stayed on a particular miserable vacation, some perfumes she avoids because they remind her of ones her mom used to wear.

-Her necklace is and always has been a comfort item. And she likes the noise it makes. Originally given to her as a present - the first time she’d ever seen it, but her dad told her what it was.

-She likes the noise heels make the same as she likes the noise her necklace makes. As a kid she had a pair of boots that never even left her room so she could put them on whenever that made really nice sound. Good for if she was pacing.

-She won’t ever eat any seafood willingly whatsoever because she can’t stand the texture of it (or how it looks and smells, ugh). Any shellfish are especially gross. Started when she tried prawns and was miserable for the rest of the day because it gives her a nasty migraine. She can’t remember how old she was but younger than fourteen. She will opt to starve because if she takes a bite of any of it she feels sick. Nauseating hunger migraines are preferable to nauseating seafood migraines.

-She’s super picky about smoothies. She’s only found three in a lifetime that she’ll willingly drink and not hate the texture of, which is a shame because she really likes her fruit.

-But she HATES the texture of bananas. They don’t even taste nice. She doesn’t like them in drinks either though she’ll be more likely to agree to a banana milkshake over anything else that includes bananas. Another thing she’d rather starve than eat.

-Adams likes pineapple on pizza. She went a good bit of her life not even knowing the opinion on that was divided.

-She has problems with solid food in the mornings a lot of the time and generally struggles to eat when she’s anxious. On the occasion she does eat in the morning, it’s usually some type of fruit. Or something soft and sweet like porridge. Started when she was around fifteen. If she remembers right.

-She has siblings. She doesn’t even remember how old her younger brother is. They don’t really acknowledge each other and they don’t like each other either. On her end, it swings between resentment and apathy. Ollie (Oliver) is mom’s little baby and can get away with bloody murder. He Exists. They never make any move to acknowledge each other unless they have to or in very rare moments of peace. She knows Ollie is very aware that she doesn’t like him. She doesn’t know how exactly he feels about that. She doesn’t care.

Her half-sister’s eleven years older and Adams gets along with her a lot better but they never see each other very often, and given Kat (Katherine) doesn’t have the same feelings about their dad, Adams never really makes a move to seek out contact/her avoidance comes through when it comes to her sister as well. She’s always found it much easier when they’re 1:1 instead of when anyone else is around. One of two people on Dad’s side of the family she’ll willingly talk to. Mom doesn’t like Kat very much because she doesn’t like that Dad favors his first kid whilst actively playing favorites herself and wondering why Jess and Ollie hate each other so much.

-Her parents are both "Talk so I can hear what I want" parents.

-She limits contact with family both generally and on most special occasions to phone calls or replying to texts for her dad’s family if she’s lucky. When she was younger she really didn’t enjoy her birthdays especially. Too much attention, too difficult to figure out how everyone wanted her to react when showing any real emotion around her parents was always either Too Much or Not Enough or Not Correct or their response made her feel silly. Eventually her only response to things like “What do you want for your birthday?” became I Don’t Know. She preferred the idea of spending the day alone with the dogs and/or taking Calliope out. On her seventeenth she quite liked the thought of finding enough sleeping pills to knock herself out for the next forty-eight hours.

-No family can remember the last time she let any of them take a picture of her. She hates any of them taking pictures of her. The latest picture they have of her, she was fourteen according to them. She doesn't have any pictures of herself as a kid around the house. She doesn’t mind having her picture taken - she minds when it’s family trying to do it.

-It's impossible for her to picture herself as a child. She has some very vivid memories but when looking back on them she can only see herself exactly as she is in the present. She sees through the eyes of the memory.

-She can very rarely remember how old she was regardless of how vivid her memories are. She can guess, sometimes have a pretty good idea, but she can never be sure. It's all blended.

-One of the moments she feels most guilty about is the time her mom picked her up from school and by that point, she already didn’t respond well to either of her parents trying to talk to her, so she got snippy as soon as she got in the car. She’s sure she was fifteen. Her mom told her it’s easier when she isn’t home, that she’s a lot like her dad, and “You know when we say how disappointing it can be when dad gets home? I feel that way about you sometimes.”

-She learned to drive a year or so later than she could have because she didn't want to learn from either of her parents. They wanted her to, but she gave in once and sat in the car with dad for just five minutes while he pointed things out (that she wouldn't remember within the hour) before she couldn't take it and he must've been in a great mood there because he noticed and let it go. She put it off for as long as she could whenever they brought it up after that. She learned from an instructor eventually.

-By fifteen she reached the “fine” phase responding to any “how was-” questions from family. She greeted the animals with 100x more enthusiasm than she ever greeted her dad especially, another thing she hopes he noticed (and it was massively satisfying when he did point it out once a few years after it started).

-Her relationship with her dad is much less painful than her relationship with her mom. There’s a hell of a lot more guilt involved with her mom. When it comes to her dad, she snapped somewhere along the way and wouldn’t let him get away with his shit anymore. He still never listens to a word she says and very loudly thinks of himself as good and approachable but it seems he gets the feeling she doesn’t like him. Not sure what he expected. She’d without a shadow of a doubt rather be 1:1 with House for the rest of her life than spend a day with her dad. She hates him.

-There were plenty of times she fantasized running away. Plenty of times she looked at her window or her door and could see it in her mind’s eye. Fear always beat it out of her. And she couldn’t imagine going anywhere without Sadie.

-Over the holidays as a kid, her dad would drag them to his sister’s house where there’d be a gathering of family she didn’t trust/who never really seemed to like her or her mom (or Ollie). Her dad’s family had/has a weird dynamic in which he is the glue that keeps them all together even though these gatherings were never specifically his idea. The world revolves around his side of the family as soon as he’s thinking about or interacting with any of them, he’s sunshine and roses with them compared to what he’s like at home, “jokes” that hurt her mom’s feelings and/or make Adams snap are his icebreakers, he gets pissy when she waits for someone to talk to her before she talks to them. They’d get together for gatherings but then all talk behind each other’s backs as soon as it was over. Her aunt’s kids would bring their little kids who at least kept the attention of everyone off of Adams. Only one of her aunt’s daughters was someone Adams genuinely liked and felt comfortable saying hi to. Her sister was never there because she never lived close enough to make it. Nobody ever turned off flashing lights or disliked the heat and the living room would always be crowded so Adams would end up with a migraine every single time without fail.

The bright spot was always getting to see her aunt & uncle’s pets - Border Collie Tilly and black cat Nancy. Her dad would mostly ignore them pretty much the whole time they were there and her mom would focus on Ollie. Great! She’ll be elsewhere sitting with the cat. (Tilly would hide behind the couch to escape the little kids because nobody ever told them to leave her alone, and Nancy would hide in a different room because she was the type of old cat who just wanted a quiet room and quiet stroke or nothing at all - Adams was more than happy to give that).

-”Jess stayed in the room with us for an hour just because you were there? That means she likes you!”

-She gets really worked up if someone goes into her room without explicit permission and without her there to keep an eye on them. Especially if they change anything. As a teen it took something like seven times of coming home to a completely moved-around wardrobe and getting Very angry about it for her mom to stop going into her room every once in a while to move things while she wasn't there. It’s always felt like her room is something nobody else is meant to see. It’s her room, it’s her space, everything in there is hers - No one can just come in when she’s not there and touch things and move things and change things.

-She has to sleep with a fan on. She cannot sleep without it. If someone turns it off when she's asleep she'll wake up and turn it back on. It has to be aimed directly at her face. She needs the cold, needs the sound. She'll hear it straight away if it starts clicking and needs cleaning.

-She has to have her room set up a specific way. Her bed has to have the headboard and one side in a corner because she can't stand open space behind her. Bedside table right next to the open side where her fan will go. She's had her rooms set up this way for as long as she can remember and won't let it change.

-Overall she sleeps fine. Mostly. Usually. If she’s at home. If she’s not at home then it’s more difficult, especially the first night. She could be given all the in-advance warnings in the world and still not be able to sleep properly the first night away from home. She’s tossing and turning and irritated by sounds nobody else seems to be bothered by and getting up to pace around the room all night because her blood feels like it’s boiling and being aware that she’s supposed to be asleep gets her even more worked up and makes it even harder. She ends up even more short-tempered than usual.

The one exception is post-canon on bad nights sometimes she’ll go to the hospital really early, shut all the blinds and usually end up falling asleep in the office. (The fact it makes her feel closer to House is irrelevant.)

-She read Lassie Come-Home constantly as a teen, was given to her by one of her grandparents.

-She had a comfort item until she was nineteen - a plain white snuggle blanket she’d had since she was a baby that she called Snuggles. She doesn’t remember how old she was when she firmly stopped taking him out of the house so he wouldn’t get lost (or dirty), but it was driven by the time she nearly did lose him in a store and her dad finally gave in and took her back there to find him because she wouldn’t let them leave him and wouldn’t stop crying. She’d completely stopped using his name in front of anyone by the time she was twelve, stopped mentioning him at all around dad by the time she was thirteen and only mentioned him to mom if asking where he was after he got washed because she refused to ever leave him downstairs where dad could see him.

By the time she was sixteen to nineteen, he was more holes than cloth and was small enough that she could ball him up and hold him in one fist. He’d come apart more with a tug too hard and would get all twisted up in himself when he got washed.

She never had any intention of getting rid of him and didn’t want to let him go, her parents were just fed up with their teenage daughter still having a comfort item like that so one day she got home and noticed something wasn’t right in her room, realized he was missing and spent a frantic set of minutes looking for him around her room in case she’d moved him somewhere and forgotten, and as soon as she had nowhere else to look she knew her immediate theory was correct.

She didn’t even try to keep the topic quiet from dad when she went downstairs to ask where her blanket was. Mom said she didn’t know, dad didn’t answer. It took two days of bothering mom about it over and over to make her crack and say dad went into her room when she wasn’t there and got rid of it. I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with a baseball bat. She felt so completely off and had so much trouble getting to sleep without Snuggles that from that first night without him she took out an old long-sleeve shirt with similar-feeling material and cut the buttons off it to have that in her bed instead.

-Connects to the next one, but one day a few weeks after she’d turned fifteen, she’d gotten really stressed over the fact her dad would be picking her up from school because she can’t stand being 1:1 with him like that and a teacher caught her struggling not to cry and took her to an empty classroom to talk to her, and that just became a regular thing once every week or two. Jess could come to her classroom during lunch or gaps in her timetable for a 1:1 and just talk about anything she needed to - stuff at home, anything she was having trouble with at school, etc.

Jess got attached to her really quickly - it was nice to have someone she felt safe with and felt comfortable talking to and felt was actually (at least trying to) listening to her - but she did tend to… make up a happier answer if she felt the real one would disappoint this teacher. These 1:1s went on for a long time - until April of the year after where talk of vacation had already started up at home. Jess said plenty about that, said her dad told her to come up with “real reasons” she didn’t want to go, and spent a 1:1 getting help putting some reasons together. And at the end of that session, the teacher let Jess know that she’d be leaving in two weeks (not her decision), and Jess remembers very vividly feeling her heart drop and putting on a brave face as she left but having to run to a hidden corner she knew of outside to cry.

Of course talking to her parents about vacation didn’t go well, had one 1:1 with the teacher where she tried to talk about it, agreed to “try sitting them down to talk to them if they’re both acting better right now” and never actually did that because she knew it wouldn’t change anything and/or wouldn’t last even if she did. But she didn’t say that the next morning when she ran into the teacher in the hall and got asked about it- made up a happier answer, avoided her for the rest of the day - and that teacher was gone the day after.

Post-vacation, post-NYC, back at school, Jess made a habit of going to stand outside that teacher’s classroom during lunch/between classes to feel more grounded. She remembers feeling a surge of anger when someone new set up in there.

-She had a horrible time being away from home vacation-wise when she was sixteen. And it’s strange!! Because when she was a kid they went on vacation three times - always to the same area - each of which she doesn’t remember much of.

The first-first she was too young to remember, so it doesn’t count. Of the real first one, she remembers Ollie pushing her into the pool when she couldn’t swim and not getting in any trouble for it. She remembers her dad was in A Mood one afternoon and gave everyone the silent treatment until the day after. She remembers dad crossing the road because he was in that mood and Ollie went to walk with him while she stayed with mom. She remembers getting a toy dog that broke within the day. She remembers the second because she made a few friends she never saw again and met a lifeguard’s little gray & white kitten named Albert. She only remembers she was twelve because she told one of her friends. She remembers trying her dad’s bright blue fruit drink she liked but can never quite remember the name of.

The last one she remembers a lot more of, likely thanks to the fact she was older and miserable.

She never even wanted to go. And everyone knew she didn’t want to go. Just over two months or so before they'd leave- which would be a couple of weeks after she turned sixteen- dad told her that if she could give him a real reason she didn’t want to go, then he’d think about it. And she did that, about a week later once she’d worked up some reasons in her head apart from “I don’t want to be stuck with you for two weeks” and “Sadie’s really old now and I don’t want to leave her” and “I literally just don’t want to go?”

And her dad’s first reaction when she said she wanted to talk about it was to roll his eyes and then imply he was never serious anyway. And oh, that was it. Mark #1 of her major “And She Snapped” moments. She went off on them (while making her way to leave the room) and surprise surprise it got her nowhere. I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with a baseball bat.

She remembers dad saying she’s definitely going with them now because he’s absolutely not going to leave her when she’s like that, and mom was softer for like two days afterward. Still didn’t listen to her - just expected that now she’d said it, it all went away and wouldn’t come up again. Talk so I can hear what I want.

The dogs went into kennels the day before, so the night they left she hadn’t been able to sleep because Sadie wasn't there and she didn’t want to go in the first place and her fan started clicking so she got up to clean it and then it was too bright to sleep even with her curtains shut and they had to leave in the early morning and she didn’t want to fly and mom kept telling her to knock it off because she was crying like ten minutes into being in the airport and ruining everyone's time (it wasn’t at all busy that early in the morning - she’ll never know why just being there threw her whole system completely out of whack).

They got there and it was too hot and so Not Her Room when she had to unpack and she was hungry and tired and she’d been around the others for so long without a break and it was so long until it was going to be dark enough to sleep and the dogs weren’t there and she didn’t want to be there and little things and little things and little things

They went out that evening to walk around and something happened to set her off - she doesn’t remember what, it might’ve been something her mom said because she’d waited for her to get her necklace back on before following everyone else - but she just started crying. And just couldn’t stop. For hours. She got a little cuddly bunny from one of the shops they went into. She got pulled into another by her mom just to be told to Knock It Off and stop ruining everyone's trip out the way of everyone else. She saw a cat in an alley they cut down and dropped behind a minute to spend some time with the much more understanding fluffy tabby. She could've stayed there with the cat, she remembered her way around. Would've been in even more trouble for making them come back to find her though.

Sat down at a restaurant, got snapped at by dad, quietly snapped back at him to piss off - prompted his immediate response of “Tell me that again I’ll bash your fucking face in”

Which didn’t sink in right away

Her dad ended up storming off and walking back to where they were staying when they got up to leave because apparently she was the problem. She remembers the rest of them got back before him, which was lucky at least. She's pretty sure he doesn't even remember what he said now.

She went straight to Not-her-room. She remembers feeling really cold. And floaty. Kat called before dad got back to ask what was going on - and Adams knows their dad stopped on his way back and called her to complain about her because she (reluctantly) went to answer and verbatim it went: “What’s going on, Jess? Are you not enjoying the trip?” and her response to yeah fine was “I know you’re okay in your room, but it would be nice to make some memories with the family while you’re out there. Dad was really looking forward to this and they’re all really worried about you."

Was the longest she slept the whole two weeks there. After however many hours spent completely unable to because the bed was in the wrong position and she had to have her back to the door that didn’t lock and she could hear the road from afar and the fan kept making the blinds tap but that whole side of the room was windows so she wasn’t going to open them but she’d immediately overheat if she turned the fan off and then it’d be too silent and the road would be even easier to hear.

She really thought about it there, before she fell asleep. It would’ve been so stupidly easy - open the outside door of her room, slip out and hop over the wall and disappear. She knew her way around, knew her way to and around town, could’ve gone down to the beach. As usual, the fear kept her. It was dark, she couldn’t have spoken to anyone if she for some reason needed to, she’d have had to be back before morning. Just… wasn’t doable.

She tried her damndest to avoid her dad after that - Notwithstanding his attempts to act like he never said anything/nothing ever happened. As he does. She wouldn’t have forgiven him even if he had apologized. I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with a baseball bat.

She honestly would’ve preferred not to be given the false hope of her mom telling her multiple times that they might leave early anyway. The worst one was the morning after day one because her mom suddenly listening & saying If I could get you home right now, I would, was enough to make her cry again.

She spent 95% of this trip in not-her-room on not-her-bed feeling progressively worse. The whole place was too hot. She could hardly sleep because she could hear the road and the blinds kept clicking but she wasn’t going to open them and they were the only thing making the room only just dark enough to sleep. The bed meant she had to have her back to the door that didn’t lock. These little flies kept appearing from god knows where in her room even though she never opened either of her doors for more than a few seconds to the point she just started hand-killing them. She was the only one to notice these tiny ants in the kitchen the first night they were there and the bug spray her mom tried gave her a migraine and put this horrible greasy coating on the bed so she went looking for any spare bedding as soon as she was alone and found stuff twice the size and twice the thickness of what was meant to be on the bed but she wasn’t willing to touch the original stuff so everything ended up even hotter and she never wanted to be there in the first place and she just really really wanted to go home.

The little time she spent anywhere else was whenever she and Ollie were there on their own so she’d leave her room to force down a snack, and then one night after her dad came back from a walk talking about how everyone should come see this cat that looked like Skipper. She said no at first and then made herself upset thinking about the kitty so she went with.

Her mom told her during the second week that she wasn’t helping by staying in her room and not talking to anyone, and when they got home they were going to sit down and have a family discussion. That wasn’t the first time she’d said that or the first time they’d ‘tried’ that, but this one never happened at all and she’s well aware nothing like that ever lasts anyway. Talk so I can hear what I want.

-She ran away about three weeks after they got home.

-…

-Her mom used to tell her and Ollie that if either of them ever got lost somewhere and she hadn’t given them a place to meet up/wait if they got separated, then find someone with a dog and ask them for help.

So that’s what she did. She found this woman loading her dogs into her car and asked if she could give her a ride home. It was Nellie the Red/Irish Setter and Rover the St. Bernard.

-The first parts of that drive home actually felt like a massive relief. The dogs being in there with her helped massively - Nellie was sat next to her in the back seat, Rover was in the trunk and had his head leaning on the seats pretty much the whole way. The anxiety came back the closer she got to home.

-She remembers it feeling really awkward when she got back - walking up to the front door. She wanted to be home but she didn’t want to say anything to anyone.

-And then she found out Sadie had died while she was gone.

-She smashed a mirror, ran upstairs, got smacked by dad a few minutes later for breaking a mirror, slept for eighteen hours, then barely left her room or got off her bed for another month.

-Parent tried to “talk” to her -> she’d get angry and at some point start kicking and punching the walls to make them give up because I am using my words, you’re not listening to my words -> they’d give up for the day/night -> she’d get the rest of her emotions out until she was exhausted enough to curl back up on her bed and fall asleep -> repeat. During one of these tantrums she smashed her own mirror because her dad had threatened before to put padding up on her walls if she kept kicking them, and her mom was keeping the dogs away from her.

-The dogs were kept away from her that whole time. Her parents used it as punishment. A "Well, if you're going to keep acting like that, we can't trust you around the dogs" before her mom would walk out. Shep and Sheba didn't often come upstairs, but they were kept downstairs at this point and if one of them did follow everyone upstairs in the evening, they were sent back down just as quickly to keep them away from Adams' door.

-”Tantrums” (were absolutely meltdowns)

-She very nearly got into a physical fight with Ollie in that month - she was having trouble getting back to sleep with a (still there) migraine and Ollie slept with his door open and lamp on, so the light from his room was coming in under her door. She got so worked up that she went out to go close his door, as she was turning back heard him pull it back open so turned around to do it again, and he reached out to hold it still. She told him to turn the light off if he wanted the door open, got told no so went to do it herself, and he grabbed hold of it roughly enough trying to block her that when she pulled it away from him, it yanked him out of his bed with a bit of a bang. He got up off the floor, got hold of her arm, said he’d break it, tried pushing her out the door again. She told him to let go of her, and by then they were both shouting until she shoved him really hard to get him to let go, right back into the side of his bed/against his bedside table before she ran back to her room. Mom was not happy with her.

-Sometime during this month her mom did come to speak to her on a night she was just Tired, and apologized “for whatever we did” with a nice dose of “but what you did and the way you’re acting now is still so much worse.”

-Nobody else ever knew about any of it. Her parents never let anyone know, it had to be kept quiet once she was back at school.

-NYC really amplified her problems with solid food. She felt too sick to eat much of anything for those last weeks/that first month back and she’s been even more sensitive to it ever since. And never really eating at all if she’s anxious and/or nauseous makes her feel even sicker.

When she did get hungry enough during that first month back, she’d wait until everyone was asleep to go downstairs and get a snack because she didn’t want her parents to feel like they’d won. It also gave her a chance to see and talk to the dogs. She owed them some overdue apologies.

-There were multiple nights she thought about sneaking out to go to the yard like she used to. She couldn't force herself to do it without Sadie. Shep and Sheba didn't do anything wrong, she just couldn't stand the thought.

-She doesn't often drink something strong, never tries anything else in those lanes. She tried once in NYC, spooked herself, hasn’t touched any of it since. She absolutely loathes the smell of cigarettes and couldn't be convinced to have one.

-That little bunny she got? Very mixed feelings about it. It never got a name. Just a very soft bunny. Sometimes she’d throw it as hard as she could against the wall and pick it up just to throw it again, others she’d feel so guilty she’d start crying. She still has it just sat on her desk with a little cat ornament to keep it company. If he notices it somehow on the rare occasion he’s in her house, her dad will comment on the fact she still has it. It’s really none of his fucking business.

-Since that vacation she got even shorter with her dad and she has not walked next to him since. If he drifted over to her when they were out somewhere, she’d drop back and go around her mom’s other side to get away from him or just stay back behind everyone. She doesn’t know if he really noticed it was entirely intentional, but she really hopes he did. Icicles don't soften when they die (they sharpen into sabers and they stab you in the eye) etc etc

-She didn't have too many friends in school. When there was a group she'd hang around in high school, a lot of it was friend of a friend with only one or two people she was semi-close with. Post-NYC she just wasn't very interested at all.

-She and her ex knew each other since they were kids. Like kids-kids. Lived walking-distance apart. Same schools, class, etc etc. Their parents (more their moms) were friends and it was always kinda joked about that the kids with so much in common were best friends.

That friendship paused/cutoff when Jack switched schools in 7th grade and they went to different high schools but they saw each other again during the months post-NYC thanks to their moms. Her tantrums were dying down but she was also nearing over a month of barely leaving her room and barely eating, so her parents brought in the Old Friend. When her parents started going out with Ollie again, to walk the dogs or something, they left Jack to make sure Jess didn’t leave the house/do anything while home alone.

She was not having it - it took a while for her to open up at all to him being around. She wouldn’t let him past the threshold of her room if he came up to say something or give her some work mom or dad wanted her to do. One of the big moments was when she decided to go see the horses and had to bring him with. She put him on Zephyr and they went to the field and Shep decided to sit with him when they stopped. He won over two pets. +2 to getting to know each other (again)

She never told him a lot, but he knew a bit more than her parents. They're the only people (until House) who know anything at all.

-Jack had another tuxedo named Tom when they were younger, so when she first saw his cat once they were really friends again she thought he was Tom. Jack broke the news. This tuxedo was also named Tom. Every tuxedo Jack ever had was named Tom.

-Next time they planned a vacation, she didn't go. Dad wanted her to, tried guilt-tripping her into it plenty of times, but she wasn't budging and she was nineteen by then so he couldn't use that to push her. She stayed home alone with the dogs and it was great. Jack brought Tom II over for a few days which was fun. Tom made good friends with Sheba.

Timeline: 16 on June 28th -> Dragged on vacation on the 5th of July -> Home on the 19th -> Eighteen days (6th of August) at home before she ran away -> Two months in NYC before she went home -> About five weeks spent Not Doing Well -> Mom got her back to school as soon as she could once she was "doing better"

[tragicallyuncreative]

can we get a new ATEOTR sneak peek 😩 i’ll pay you

I'm a little late responding to this. I'm so sorry this break between chapters has been dragging, guys. It has been a ROUGH few weeks with 36 - 45 hours of clinicals per week, plus lectures, labs, and tests every Monday. Not to mention I commute over an hour to get to class and between 45 minutes - an hour and a half to get to the different hospitals I'm assigned to. There is a light at the end of the tunnel though- Thanksgiving break coming up and end of the semester the second week of December- I can promise lots of writing/ updates then. No promises, but am very close to being done with Chapter 4 and would love to get it out within the next week. But y'all have been very patient and it's only fair to give another sneak peek. This will be the last one before the update! BTW- this chapter is a long one so will be split POV between Ponyboy and Darrel.

At The End Of The Road: Chapter 4 Excerpt

Darrel “I-” my voice broke and I cleared my throat, continued in a husky voice, “we gotta go to the hospital, Ponyboy.”

He just looked at me. “Huh?”

“That was Dr. Thompson. He wants us to go to the emergency room and they gonna admit you from there. You need to pack a bag.”

“Why? What’s wrong with me?”

“It’s- um, there’s people at the hospital who are gonna talk to you ‘bout that when we get there, okay? They can, uh, explain better than I can.” There was movement to my left, and Soda sidled in and stood beside me, eyes still red and swollen but clearly trying to appear calm for Pony’s sake. He nodded encouragingly at my words, and I felt reassured, knowing Pony would likely be satisfied with this plan if Soda was.

“No.”

I was taken aback. I was expecting some tears or anger with pushback maybe, but not this flat-out denial. He wasn’t getting worked up or showing any signs of emotion, just looking at me as if this was a simple explanation that summed it all up.

“No? What do you mean, no?”

“I mean no.” His voice was getting louder, but he still had an air of deadly calmness about him. “I am so sick of all this. Y’all actin’ like everything’s some big secret that I’m too much of a kid to know about. Well, I’m the one it’s happening to. I’m the one who’s sick all the time, not you. I’m the one who can’t run track anymore. I’m the one who’s too damn tired to get through a day of school. I’m the one who feels like I’m dyin’!” His lip quivered then, and I saw tears gathering in his eyes. His next question came out as a whisper. “Am I dying, Darrel?”

[lightaflametoburnmethrough]

YunaAki Moments Collection: Chapter 9

❣️❣️❣️Happy Valentine’s Day❣️❣️❣️ 🤗💖

Figured today would be a good day to start that mini project I mentioned a few posts back where I said I’m going to analyze every YunaAki moment there is (manga first, I’ll get to the anime at a later date I still have to finish those gifsets, urk! 😅)

It may not seem like anything special for this kind of holiday (though I did make a fanvid so check that out if you’re interested) but y’know, I’m a rambler so I’m gonna talk and talk for all my love’s worth, haha!

はい！さ〜！行きましょう！😊🫰❤️

While Kaito hasn’t shown up yet at this point in the manga, he is mentioned for the very first time in chapter 9. And of course, leading into that mention is the topic of food. Namely the fancy-looking bento he always prepares for Akiho (I love how it opens up all ✨きらきら✨ like some kind of rare treasure chest 🤣).

Food has always been Kaito’s love language to Akiho since, given their circumstances, there really weren’t a lot of other appropriate ways he could express his feelings for her (plus, there’s also the fact that he had trouble acknowledging his feelings to begin with but we’ll save that for another time).

You can tell how much he adores her by all the care that went into making every single piece that filled her bento box. Everything is arranged so neatly, the vegetables are cut up so clean and nice and cute (😆💕), it’s practically one of those dream bento you see more often in food magazines than in real life.

Which means it must have taken a long time to prepare. As in, he gotta get up as early as 4 AM in order to have the bento packed and ready by the time she leaves the house around 3-4 hours later.

Prep time for something this extravagant is tedious and honestly, a simple bento would’ve sufficed. But nope, because Kaito is all about going that extra mile when it comes to Akiho 👏😤

It wouldn’t surprise me if this was his thought process when he started making bento lunches for her. He took into consideration how tired she would be after half a day of classes or whatever activities she was doing that morning so he wanted to give her something that was not only nutritional in value but also pleasing to the eye. When she opened her bento box, her lunch would be as ✨pretty✨ to behold 🤩 as it was delicious to eat 😋 and both those factors combined would give her an extra boost of energy to get through the rest of the day 😊

That’s the kind of thoughtfulness Kaito has ☺️ and I believe Akiho knows it as well. Which is probably one of the reasons she immediately denies it when someone asks if she was the one who made her bento.

It’s not just her bad habit of constant self-criticism (we’ll get to that in a minute), it’s also because she refuses to take credit for someone else’s efforts. She’s honest like that (I love her~ 🥰).

What’s more, you can tell in a few future scenes that she always looks quite proud or pleased whenever Kaito’s cooking skills are brought up and that’s probably cuz she wants others to know how amazing he is.

Even in this panel, Akiho has noticeably calmed down from her flustered state when the conversation veers away from her to Kaito, showing she’s much more comfortable about others being complimented than receiving any praise herself.

That’s her bad habit. But her little chibi nods are so cute! Oof! 😣💘

However, she can’t be blamed for having low self-esteem when it’s later revealed how horrible her childhood was. The abuse she suffered conditioned her into never seeing herself in a positive light.

Even the way she describes her relation to Kaito here is very self-deprecating because the translation for “面倒みて” means “took the trouble to”.

If she grew up normally, she’d simply say “yes, he took care of me since I was little” (I believe お世話 would be the right term to use in this case).

But she didn’t grow up like that. Instead, it’s “yes, he went through the trouble of looking after me since I was little”.

She words it like she is the burden. Like she is the hassle that’s been dumped on him.

That’s so heartbreaking 😢💔 No child should ever describe themself like this, much less a lovely girl like Akiho.

And we’ll see later on how strongly Kaito carries this sentiment in how he always tries to correct Akiho whenever she puts herself down for not being “good enough”.

In the meantime, back to Akiho talking about Kaito.

The third thing she discusses about him is that they’re not related by blood.

From a writer and reader’s view, it’s likely to establish the point that since they’re not relatives, it’s not a problem for her to have feelings for him. Seriously, it’s not. Akiho has a person she loves and admires. That’s totally normal.

From Akiho’s view within the story, however, it’s just to make it clearer what their relationship is.

Kaito is not considered family in the traditional or biological sense. He’s been assigned to attend to Akiho’s needs so it’s professional. He’s her caretaker.

Those are the surface facts.

But what Akiho says next along with the expression she makes…

It tells us that there is something between them that goes beyond just the facts. Beyond what’s written on paper. Beyond how they officially present themselves.

“He’s an important person to me.”

What Akiho means is he’s more than just her caretaker, he’s more than just her traveling companion, he’s more than just someone who fills the absence of family and friends she’s always felt ever since she was little.

The way her eyes look so warm and how her smile softens so significantly…

It’s a face we only see her make whenever she’s thinking of Kaito.

Around her new friends, the happiness Akiho shows is the excited kind. The thrilled kind. That makes sense cuz after moving to Japan, it’s her first time having people her age to bond with. Which is good, she needs that.

But when it’s Kaito, her happiness is one full of tenderness, security, quiet joy and contentment.

It’s giving “I have someone to go home to at the end of the day and I’m so grateful for that”.

It’s telling “Kaito-san is the complete package. He was my first friend and still is the one I can confide my deepest thoughts to. He cares for me in all the ways my own family never did. It’s so wonderful to be with him, I hope it lasts forever. He’s irreplaceable. I love him so much. There’s no one else like him in the entire world.”

…yea. That’s the look of a girl who understands just how lucky she is. To not have only found the right person for her but also, the BEST person she’ll ever get 🥰

And that’s also why she would not hold up well under a hostage situation 😂

Her emotions are too obvious! She just confessed her greatest weakness in the middle of a public street! Akiho doesn’t wear her heart on her sleeve, her heart is her face! She’s so kyuuuuuuute!!!! 😆💕

Oye, so it’s really a good thing Kaito whisked her away from magician society. Akiho is too good 😇 for a place that is so evil! 👿 He needs to protect his precious girl always and foreve~~~~rrrrr!!! 😫💗

Next: Chapter 11 —>

[coffeecatsandhealth]

4/23/25

Haven't been on here much lately, but I noticed now that you have to go to your settings to see mature content now.

Come on now, they could have done this YEARS ago instead of trying to get rid of all of the mature content on here. Instead, a bunch of people left this site because they couldn't get mature content. 🙄 Reddit has mature content, why did it take so long for Tumblr to come up with this feature? Good grief.

In other news, I'm headed to yoga. I kinda don't wanna go but ugh I'm going. I'm hoping the main instructor shows up and not the sub. The sub makes class soooooo much harder than it needs to be and doesn't do enough modifications. I'm not in the kind of shape (yet) where I can do all the complicated crazy shit. Hell, downward dog can be hard on me because of my arm strength and having to hold up my body weight. That shit is hard!

In other, other news, I ordered some cute panties from Lane Bryant to try and make myself feel better about myself. My confidence is increasing with weight loss, but I need an extra little oomph to feel sexy in my own skin. That's what I'm trying for here, to feel sexy and comfortable in my own skin.

I've also gotten an obscene amount of books lately. Most of them are cookbooks. I'm hoping it'll help me be more creative because I am usually in charge of the cooking. Hoping the recipes don't suck! Most of them are crockpot recipes because of my schedule. It just makes it a hell of a lot easier to prep food during the day during my downtime like on my work lunch and have food ready in a few hours. That and I'm going for stuff that's high protein and there's gotta be more ways to serve meat than the crock pot cookbooks I had before say. I got a mixture of a lot of different stuff including some vegan and vegetarian stuff too to make sure I'm getting my veggies in. I try to prioritize meat though because it's easier to get protein in that way for me and stay full while still losing weight on Zepbound.

Ugh... I like yoga but I so don't want to go today, but I might as well because my fiance is going to be doing it at home so I'll just feel meh about myself if I don't go. Ugh. I just wanna be lazy and maybe read a bit. Boo at being responsible and damn my adhd which would make it hard for me to read consistently in the first place. Blah.

[mrapplethorn]

D&D's Tiers of Play Visualized

For inexperienced GM's (and even some experienced ones) it's often hard to know how much impact your players can have on the world around them. In addition, they often don't know how much they need to prep to be prepared for the shenanigans their player's can get up to. Let me help.

TIER 1 | Level 1 to 4: Weak Shmucks

Like many other GM's, I start my campaigns out at level 3. Mostly because my players don't want to have to wait to have a well rounded character. And I get it, you want to have a class and a subclass, to be as unique a character as possible, distancing yourself from your own past characters and others. But I would be very interested in one day playing a few months in this tier.

Because you don't have to prepare that much as a GM in this tier, but your players can go wild, come up with the most crazy stuff, and y'all can just improvise togethers, as friends.

TIER 2 | Level 5 to 10: Everyone's Favorite

As stated above, this is everyone's favorite tier, both for GM's and players. As a player I really adore level 5 both as a fighter or a spellcaster, because it feels like every turn I have a clear impact in what is happening.

But as you can see, prep does not get more difficult in this tier. Death is still a big fear for players, and as long as you don't give your players a list of all the Teleportation Circles in your world, they still have to travel the slow way (giving you ample time to prepare the village or city they're travelling to).

It often takes me 2 years to get from level 3 to level 9-ish, but I've heard of GM's going either way faster or way slower. Luckily that too is in your hands.

TIER 3 | Level 11 to 16: Death? I don't know her

At this state it gets wonky, and I gotta say I never had a character reach this level (although I have played some at levels 17-20).

Sadly enough, this tier requires two things of you as the GM:

A clear understanding of most places in your world and the surrounding planes of existence, because your players can most likely travel to wherever they want in an instant.

A clear understanding of the entire magic system, because you NEED to throw higher level stuff at them. Not just because of their increased hit points, but because they can solve must puzzles and traps using magic if you aren't aware of everything they are capable off. And you need to give your villains the means to thwart the player characters, and higher level spells can sometimes be puzzles in themselves if you play your cards right.

Your players can (and hopefully want to) make a visible impact on the world around them. But they are not the only ones, create powerful factions that have opposing thoughts and morals to keep your players on their toes.

TIER 4 | Level 17 to 20: God Status Achieved!

Your players are gods, maybe not the strongest (or wisest), but they can hold their own against multiple ancient dragons. It has probably taken your group 4 to 10 years in real life to achieve this, so it is time to let them take the reins for once, it's not like you can do anything to stop them if you wanted to. Treat this more like an epilogue, and as the epilogue of a 9-hour film franchise can be 30 minutes, the epilogue of a 9-year tabletop game can easily take half a year to complete. Tie up loose ends, get married, create a new world with you as it's sole ruler, go to heaven and bitch slap Thor, whatever it is: have fun!

[leftnotright]

A TEXTBOOK EDUCATION

"This will be a skill-building experience. You've had it too easy. You've had your Family name to back you, and your Right Hand at your every call. It's time you learn to carry yourself, to build from the ground up." Dino Cavallone, the Cavallone Don, fresh out of high school.

Reborn, the deadliest hitman of the modern era, has a special kind of torture up his sleeve for his dear struggling student. Dino will have to see how well he handles alienation, isolation, and worst of all, class participation. “Now, go on, my useless student Dino. Let’s continue your education.” (Or: Reborn sends Dino to Australia. It goes better than he could have ever hoped.)

Parings: N/A Characters: Dino (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Vic Hunt (OC - Original Character), Reborn (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Romario (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Cavallone Famiglia, Enzo (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Original Characters Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, University, Pre-Canon, Financial Issues, Fluff And Angst

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

CHAPTER 7: I JUST NEEDED COMPANY NOW

Vic watched Dino from the couch, her knees drawn to her chest as she sat lazily fanning herself. They were nearing their final assessments for the academic year, burning through the semester in a blurred frenzy of days-weeks-months. What had started with a leisurely semester of introductory courses had ended in the stomach-tingling dread that was the looming final essays and exams.

And despite all this, despite the steady pile of 30%, 40%, 50% (half of their fucking grade, Vic had nearly choked—) assessments growing with every two-week notice, Dino had not failed one to, after every class, sat back down at his dining table and returned to his family’s finances. Eyes squinted in strain as he read the glaring screen of his laptop, the papers by his side wrinkled at the edges from the amount of times Dino had handled them.

Vic frowned. 

Dino rubbed his eyes and pinched his brow, trying to work out the tension. He blinked widely, before returning to squint as he scrolled through a, frankly, upsettingly long document. 

At his side, his phone’s screen lit up with a notification: ECON2003 EXAM 2 WEEKS. At the same time, a notification for a betting app pinged into place, and Dino rushed to update his nauseating spreadsheet, decorated with a tangling of line-graphs. 

Class, racing, class, racing— Dino went around and around in circles like a horse tied to a stake. 

“I wanna go somewhere,” Vic announced.

“Uh huh,” Dino grumbled, and pulled a piece of paper closer to him.

“Just a day trip, can’t be arsed to go far.”

“Uh huh.”

“You’re coming, I don’t wanna drive the whole way.”

“Uh huh—Sorry what?” Dino looked up. 

“We,” Vic said, pointing to the three of them, Enzo included, “Are going on a trip. We gotta get outside, Dino, I haven’t been anywhere but work and the campus in weeks!”

“I can’t, I—” Dino jumped but Vic was already on her feet, stretching wide with her arms out.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re busy. But lemme ask you, ponyboy, are a few hours gonna change anything?”

Dino grimaced and looked down at his work. He hadn’t made any progress in weeks, everything he could do, already done. Still, with no jockeys in sight. Dino ran this thumb over faded ink. He had been going over the same details to make it feel like he was doing something. Like he wasn’t just sitting here, leisurely living off his Family’s dime while they cut costs.

“You need a break,” Vic insisted, rounding the couch and stood at Dino’s side, hand on his shoulder. “A refresh. Get away from the desk and clear your mind.”

As the last of the exams had rolled in, so had the first dregs of a wet Summer, humid and sticky. Dino’s window was lined with little pots, basil, oregano and rosemary grew strong. The parsley looked a bit limp, but it had always been a temperamental bitch in Vic’s opinion. The sun was out and the aircons were blasting and Vic felt it was long past due time to drag Dino’s skinny ass to the beach. He had spent nearly a year in Australia and the only bodies of water Dino had interacted with were the Macquarie lake — don’t think about the meme, it had died with the month — and the numerous puddles along the main Walk that were out for Dino specifically. 

Honestly it was a miracle Enzo hadn’t gotten wet yet. Vic had more practice catching turtles than she ever thought she’d get.

“Come on,” Vic whined and shook Dino in his chair. “I wanna go out! We could go to the beach! Or The mountains! The bush!”

Anywhere. So long as he moved forward, and not around and around— Vic gritted her teeth behind her smile.

Dino rubbed his nape and glanced up at Vic who continued to tug at him, trying her best to twist her expression into something puppy-eyed-pleading — but it honestly looked more like some kind of long-faced monkey. He didn’t tell her that, he valued his life.

“Pick a place, we’ll go!”  

Dino looked at the documents on his desk, sanitised for Vic’s eyes even though in all the months she had been haunting his dorm, not once had she snooped. Even politely looked away when he opened his laptop.

He felt her grip on his shoulder, a quick squeeze to snap him back to attention. She wasn’t going to let this lie. 

“I…” Dino trailed off. “I cannot drive.”

Vic blinked, then tilted her head.

“Huh, for some reason I thought you’d’ve learnt,” she said.

“Well, uh,” Dino winced, “Technically, yes?”

Vic squinted. Dino smiled weakly and picked at the frayed edge of his documents.

Vic stood and grabbed her keys off the kitchen counter, a vicious jangle of metal and plastic as she shook them at Dino like a cat-o-nine-tails.

“Get up, we’re going driving.”

“Huh?” Dino wheezed, but Vic was already hauling his ‘skinny, Sicilian ass’ out of his chair. 

Vic barely gave him time to shove his feet into his once-white running shoes and snatch his own dorm keys before they were crossing the Village. Enzo grumbled from inside Dino’s pocket as they rounded the side of Vic’s dorm building, and into the carport in the back.

Vic’s car’s name was, affectionately,  ‘Bumpa’. Indicative by the sheer amount of dents on the boot-end of that little black Holden Apollo.  

“Ya know, like bumper cars,” Vic explained casually as she keyed the car open. “They’re all on the back so they’re not my fault.”

Dino clutched Enzo as he stared at the scratch on the passenger side door. It looked like someone had tried to cover it with a Sharpie. 

“Robbie side-swiped a pillar at a Coles car park. Get in.”

Dino swallowed. Enzo squeaked. 

Bumpa the Car rumbled to life despite how it sounded like nothing pained it more. It idled for a moment, before the window rolled down and Vic leant to stare at Dino.

“Get in, ponyboy.”

Dino gingerly set himself in the passenger seat and immediately regretted it. Maybe it was because the carport provided no shade, maybe it was because of the car’s black paint, but the inside of the car was sweltering. 

Vic made the air conditioner roar on the ‘coldest’ setting. Dino spluttered as a wall of hot air went straight down his throat. 

“The wheels on the bus go round and round,” Vic sang idly as Bumpa rolled backwards, reversing out of the carport.

They hit something. Dino screamed.

“It’s a speedbump, Dino, my God!” Vic gasped. “Have some faith in me! Piece of shit.”

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologised, shirt fisted at his chest as he tried to steady his heart.

“At least Enzo trusts me,” Vic grumbled.

Dino looked down at Enzo. Only the shell stared back at him. He tucked Enzo under his shirt.

“Sure.”

Vic glared at Dino out of the corner of her eye and went straight at a round-about. Dino swallowed thickly as he looked out the window, every one of his senses aware of the slightest disturbance. Someone was about to cross the road, a car was turning into their lane, oh god the light was going to turn yellow Vic slow down!

“It’s still green! Green means go!” Vic shouted.

“But the timing!”

“Green means go!” She repeated unrepentantly. “Just, chill, and look out the window or something.”

Dino whimpered loudly and gripped his seatbelt. Still, he looked out the window as they turned left again. What had started as tall trees and wood-log fences (Vic said there was a bushwalk down that way) became long, squat buildings and half-cobbled construction frame sites lined either side of the road, Chinese restaurants and dentists’ offices standing side-by-side. On his right, a long, warped, green sign read E A S T W O O D and Vic turned right into a long flow of traffic.

Dino blinked. Vic was barely paying attention to the road as she fiddled with the radio, grumbling as her bluetooth adapter screeched and mumbled something that sounded like music. 

“You know the roads well,” Dino said as they inched down the hill like a line of ants. 

“Told you, I’ve lived here all my life,” Vic said, and pointed out Dino’s window, nearly punching his nose as she did. “Down that way, at the school. I used to go there on the weekend for tutoring classes. Further down is the shops and the Masonic theatre, I used to do ballet classes.”

Dino stared at Vic.

Vic squinted, “What?”

“Ballet?” He said slowly. 

Vic’s middle finger popped up off the wheel. 

“Only for like a year, mum wanted me out of the house so she could actually sit down. We just did ‘fairy circles’ most of the time.”

“I did ballroom dancing,” Dino offered.

Vic was quiet. Then she snorted in a way that sounded like it almost hurt her nose. 

Vic rolled them to a stop at the traffic lights — she looked at Dino. Dino still had a strangle-hold on his belt. She rolled her eyes and turned right.

Dino gasped as the car jolted its way over a dip in the road as Vic steered them through a gate. She craned her neck with the muttering of “children, children, don’t hit the children” before Vic parked them in the shade of a wiry looking tree. The car idled for a rumbling moment and then came to a quiet rest, the keys jangled in Vic’s hand.

Dino peered out the window. They were in a parking lot, surrounded by long stretches of grass playing fields and some kind of hard, green tarmac court. It was empty, with only a few pink and grey birds eating at the seeds on the field.

“Okay,” Vic said and unclipped her belt. “Swap.”

“What?” Dino blinked as Vic popped the door and got out. He rushed to follow, gravel loose under his foot and he had to grab at the car’s door not to slip.

“The car park will be empty for a few hours. There’s no PSSA today so the field’s not in use.”

“Okay?” Dino uttered before he watched, wide eyed, as Vic shuffled passed him and sat in the passenger side. “Vic?”

“Take your time,” she said idly as she adjusted the aircon grates and buckled herself in.

Dino gawked at Vic. Gawked at the empty driver’s seat. Gawked at the keys in the ignition. 

“Vic,” Dino wheezed, “I do not have a driver’s permit! This is illegal!”

“Oh it’s fine,” Vic assured, “I’ve got my black licence, so I’m qualified to teach ya. I mean, you’re meant to be at least on your L’s to handle a car but—”

“Vic!”

Vic just laughed at him through the open window.

This was illegal! Vic would get into trouble with the law for this! Civilian law cared about who drove what, and Dino was not allowed to drive a car! Not in Sydney! 

“Oh don’t freak out, just get behind the wheel. You’ve done this before, it’s like riding a bike.”

Dino decided not to tell Vic about all the times he had ridden a bike, and with great misery and dismay, shuffled his way around Bumpa’s dent-ridden boot to the driver’s side. He set himself in the seat in a way that allowed the least amount of ass to upholstery and nearly had a panic attack when his toe nudged the accelerator. 

Dino closed the door and sat, knees pressed together and Enzo clutched in his hands. 

“You can’t drive with something in your lap,” Vic said after a long silence. 

Dino squeaked out a noise. 

Slowly, he moved Enzo across to Vic who took him gently into her lap. With nothing to do with his hands, Dino let his palms touch the wheel.

The last time Dino had been in a driver’s seat had been in the Academy’s Vehicular Instruction Class. It was an elective, a choice between that or Toxins and Exposure 2. 

It had started off well enough. Most of Dino’s grade had never even sat in the front seat of a car, let alone driven one. Amongst the precious sons and pampered daughters of Dons and Masters alike, Dino was “right where we want him at this time of semester” — which Dino quickly learnt was teacher-talk for “epitome of average”. The class had churned through booklets and videos, seminars spent listening to master-class mechanics who could identify an engine piece by smell. They learnt everything from how to parallel park to how to hot-wire, all within the safety of the classroom. 

This was all just a precaution, after all. The same as the ‘Toxins and Exposure’ course. You were being kidnapped. You were being hunted. One day, you may need to break out of a car. One day you may need to steal a car. One day you may need to drive a car.

Dino swallowed as Vic continued to sit in the passenger side. She didn’t rush him, just sat there and traced the scute mosaic of Enzo’s shell. Dino touched the keys in the ignition and twisted. 

The class had been brought out to a large plot of paved land, stocked with several cars and instructors. Drive a course, follow the instructor’s directions and break when asked. Simple. It was only the first practical lesson of the block.

Dino never saw the end of it. He still remembered the sharp jolt of fear as the professor snapped, face red with frustration. He still remembered the burn of humiliation as all those eyes watched him walk back to the coach. 

Dino’s report card for VIT had read an exact 6. The minimum for a pass.

Vic’s black car lurched forward. Branches of that wiry tree scraped across the windscreen, woodchip mulch crunched under the wheels.

“Reverse!” Vic shrieked, eyes wide and a vaguely hysteric laugh on her lips. “Put it in reverse Dino!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Dino gasped and fumbled with the gear stick.

Dino craned his neck to see around as the car rolled backwards into the open space of the parking lot. He put it in drive. The car rolled on and, despite the lot being empty, Dino put on his blinker to turn left.

Or, he tried to. Dino screamed and proceeded to hit the brakes hard as the wipers screeched across the windscreen. 

Vic smacked the dashboard and wheezed like some kind of locomotive as Dino slapped at the gears to try and stop the wipers. Fluid squirted, the wipers went faster.

“Vic!” Dino sobbed, before screaming again when his foot eased off the brakes and they lurched forward. “Vic!”

“Okay, okay,” Vic gasped, eyes all foggy with hysteric tears as she reached over. “Left side is wipers, right side is blinker. Pull the stick down.”

Dino rushed to obey and snapped the stick down twice, and finally those flailing arms of terror settled back in their place. The windshield was streaky. Dino sat there for a bit and slumped back in the seat when all the noise stopped.

Vic held Enzo up to the window, his little foot touched the glass. She made no indication of taking over the wheel at any time. Dino let out a whine of misery and placed his hands back on the wheel, taking his foot off the break he had been trying to dig into the floor mat.  

The car bounced as they drove across a stretch of road pocked with potholes, random bumps from wandering tree roots and grass-fuzzy cracks. Dino clutched the wheel, shoulders bunched up tight as he steered jerkily.

But he didn’t crash. And slowly, oh so slowly, Dino picked up speed.

Dino swore there wasn’t a tree there last time. 

Vic screamed. Then she laughed, a hysteric, panicked laugh as she pushed herself back in her chair. 

“No! No, you’re fine, keep going!” She assured, eyes wide and smile wider as they went sailing over a tree root, the assorted Woolworths bags in the boot falling over each other.

Dino wheezed and eased off the accelerator, the car cruising the parking lot at a more manageable speed. He jerked the wheel to turn a corner, Vic gripped the front console. But she was still laughing as she pointed to the little white-lined boxes and told him to try and park. He gripped the wheel and entirely overshot the lot Vic had pointed at, so they went around again. 

Dino watched the flat fields roll past the windows, the uneven bitumen under the wheels no longer alarming and loud. Dino was confused. 

The last time he had been in a driver’s seat — a white Mercedes Benz with so many little switches and dials — the hood had smoked like a cigar, the engine choked like it had a tumour. Three of four wheels had popped, his chair had, for some reason, had slipped all the way back until he had to crane to reach the wheel. The car had lurched and stalled, responded too fast then not at all. Dino had been on the verge of tears as the instructor had slapped the dashboard in frustration. 

This car — Bumpa, the beat up, black Holden with a crackly radio that only took CDs and cassettes — grumbled under his touch, but didn’t groan. It bounced over the speedbumps, but the suspension held. He turned the wheel and the car followed suit, only as hesitant as he was.

Dino was confused. He was doing okay.

But he was alone. None of his men were here. They were all on a different continent, different hemisphere! Reborn wasn’t watching, there was no pressing will to live, fear of death. So why? Why was Dino doing so—

Vic laughed. Enzo clutched to her chest, Vic laughed as they half-mounted a speed bump as Dino tried to make a turn into a parking spot. Her foot stomped on the floor mat, muscle memory reaching for the breaks. In the hazy midday of winter, Vic’s teeth were exposed, bared as she grinned and wheezed, the car rumbling and bumping on the cracked tarmac. 

He felt it then. The little whisper, the little warmth. Something he hadn’t felt in — years. The tentative hope, the giddiness of home. Dino felt it then. 

Dino of the Cavallone was Courting Vic Hunt.

“Break!” Vic shouted and Dino stomped on the break. 

The thin leaves of a wattle slapped across the windscreen as they came to a sharp stop. The licence plate of Bumpa gently kissed the thick bark. In the quiet, the window wipers pushed the nuts and dead leaves off.

Shaking, Dino got out of the car. The dashboard beeped with the keys still in the ignition. 

Vic stumbled out the passenger side, legs weak and laughs drunken-bubbly as she staggered along the side of the car. She whooped as she pulled herself up on the boot, legs dangling off the edge as she laid on the rear window. 

Her skin felt tingly, adrenaline and something warm all through her nerves. She breathed deep through her teeth and felt the cool air fill her chest, fill her skin. 

“You are okay?” Dino asked, and when Vic looked up, he was standing a sensible six-feet away. 

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine!” Vic assured and let her head thunk back on the window. “Fuck, ponyboy, you sure can drive!”

“Sorry,” Dino chuckled weakly, he wrung his hands. Felt the warmth, felt the tug. Dino didn’t take the bait. He couldn’t do that to Vic. “I’ll…I’ll buy dinner? Or we could make dinner, you said something about garlic bread?”

“The fact that garlic bread isn’t actually Italian is deceit in the highest form!” Vic announced, “And I deserve at least two loaves of garlic bread, excuse you!”

The car bounced as Vic kicked her legs and gestured wildly of the legacy of ‘garlic bread’ and ‘bruschetta’. Dino smiled and hoisted himself up onto the boot beside Vic, the car bouncing under their combined weight as Vic teased the screams of panic he had made while driving. Dino slapped her arm and she went for his face, the car shook under them. Enzo sat on the roof, basking.

[rextasywrites]

Hamstring - a Zack Fair fanfic!

Recent reports had showed that Wutai was preparing for an attack, upping up on various weapons and there were whispers about newly developed robots for a counterattack. Bigger, stronger, smelling the mako-enhanced SOLDIERs from a mile away.

Too bad that Zack had the tendency to forget to shower.

Warnings: mention of injury, Zack and Angeal becoming friends, Zack being stupid

This fanfic is a birthday present for my friend @crylin ! Happy late Birthday dear, have a good one! <3

Also big thanks to my buddies in the server who always hype me and my writing up, including but not limited to @ryvian @prismaticpichu @dyradoodles @winter-doggo and so many more <3

*

The concept of a God, or several Gods, was unknown to Zack. But in this very moment, if he had faith in any of the things people called ‘religion’, he would have thanked whatever deity he were to believe in.

Zack and his 2nd class buddies had been sent out on a spy mission near Wutai. Recent reports had showed that Wutai was preparing for an attack, upping up on various weapons and there were whispers about newly developed robots for a counterattack. Bigger, stronger, smelling the mako-enhanced SOLDIERs from a mile away.

Too bad that Zack had the tendency to forget to shower.

“Hey Zack! Are you not gonna go to bed now?”, Kunsel asked Zack, who was putting his shoes on. “You are on morning duty.”

“Yeah no, I want to look around a little bit. Get used to the surrounding area. Besides, the food was terrible, maybe I can find some berries. Gotta be tastier than the slop we just got. What even was that…?”

“Angeal said it was some kind of nutrient filled mash with pieces of Hedgehog Pie.”

“More like Hedgehog Vomit!”

“Zack!”, Kunsel laughed and threw one of his towels, which he was holding, at his friend. Zack caught it mid-air and chucked it right back, laughing just as much as Kunsel did.

“I won’t be gone for too long, don’t worry!”, and without another second to spare, Zack ran off towards the nearest forrest.

Angeal, who had been watching the whole situation, sighed as he put his Buster Sword on his back, knowing he’d have to rescue this dumbass 2nd class SOLDIER sooner or later. From what he had heard about Fair, Angeal thought it would probably sooner than later, and took off after the young man.

*

“Oh, no no no no!”, Zack cried out. In his berry haze, the SOLDIER hadn’t realized that Wutaian soldiers were on his trail, ready to attack any ugly Shinra SOLDIER dude on sight. Zack was cornered up by a cliff, his only way out would have been a high jump down into a roaring river. While he could potentially survive the jump, the strong current could be his end. And Zack wasn’t ready to die! He had people he loved at home and still hadn’t tried the cool takeaway place in Sector 4, the one Kunsel always told him about!

With his enhanced abilities, Zack managed to take down two of the Wutaian soldiers. The fight seemed to go well for him, until one soldier managed to land a massive hit on Zack’s right leg, right on the hamstring. A loud bang was heard and before Zack’s brain could receive the information about pain in the leg, it gave in, making Zack land face-first in a puddle of mud and blood of the fallen soldiers.

That’s it, that’s his end, he thought as the Wutaian soldiers stalked up to him, sinister grins on their faces. “Should we kill him?” “No no, let's take him back home.” “Yeah, I heard the General has developed a great new torture method!” “The one with the water and the wax?” “Fuck yes.”

The next few seconds felt like hours. Zack later described the appearance of Angeal in a flash. By the time the Wutaian soldiers could turn around, their guts were spilling out of their bodies, the weak attempts to keep their stomachs and bowels in place with their hands fruitless. They dropped dead before they could have taken another breath.

“Zack Fair! Are you insane?!”

*

Angeal had dragged Zack back to camp, right into the med tent. Zack’s right leg’s hamstring was cut right through, requiring surgery. Zack was flown back to Midgar, Kunsel in tow as his ‘emotional support SOLDIER’. Angeal approved Kunsel’s earlier departure, instead requesting some 3rd class SOLDIERs to get flown in for field training. The 3rds were excited and Kunsel was glad he got to support his friend. *

A few weeks later, Zack was walking on crutches. The fact that he was unable to do squats (he had a cast so high up his leg, he could nearly rest his butt on it) and no running around… Zack hadn’t felt this bad since a bad flu knocked him out for 6 weeks when he was just 7 years old.

The days felt long. Kunsel had gone shopping on the plate and got Zack some games to play. Board games, card games, and with some money thrown together from both Zack and Kunsel, he even got a gaming system for both of them to play on.

One lonely afternoon, Kunsel was scheduled for combat training sim the whole day, Zack couldn’t do much else but play SOLDIER Kart. The TV in front of him felt lame, and Zack felt as if he had played through every single track thrice by now. There was only so much fun he could have had with this game. Even after a while, shooting Commander Rhapsodos with ‘turtle shells’ and throwing bananas at him became boring. He even made his own character in the character creation menu, but playing as Sephiroth sure was fun too.

“Do you have any idea how hard it was to get Sephiroth to agree to this game?”, Angeal had entered the room without Zack noticing. Zack paused the game and placed his controller down, focusing completely on the 1st class SOLDIER.

“Tell me!”, Zack laugh, and Angeal sat down next to him on the bed.

“Sephiroth had no interest in any kind of ‘video game’, no matter how funny or silly it was. PR told us to agree to this game, and since Genesis and I are ‘always around Sephiroth’, as they said, we should try to change his mind.”, Angeal started to tell the tale, “So Genesis and I took him into the arcade down in Sector 2 one night after bedtime. To make sure no one would recognize us, we put Sephiroth in a wig and a hoodie, Genesis wore a face full of make up and I wore a beanie pulled so far down, I was barely able to see. We got him to play all of these silly arcade games…”, Angeal laughed at the memory.

“Sephiroth was blown away by the games and by how much fun it was to play with us. He won a big prize that night, don’t know what game. But one of the owners challenged us to some game and the prize was free pizza for a year at the arcade’s restaurant. Sephiroth, of course, kicked the owner’s ass, and we got free pizza for a year.”

Zack listened, his eyes growing bigger with every word spilling from Angeal’s mouth.

“We were just ranked up to 1st, young men with an appetite to rival monsters. We nearly made them go out of business with the amount of pizzas we ate! Whenever we came back from a mission, we would eat until they had no dough left!”, Angeal couldn’t help but laugh even more at the memory. But the knowledge, that Sephiroth hadn’t eaten pizza, or even knew of pizza, before this event, was something he’d keep for himself.

“So PR got the deal for the game and we got free pizza for a year. Win-win for everyone”., Angeal smiled, but then his face changed.

“So, Zack, about the incident in Wutai…”, Zack went pale at the words. Oh no, he’d get kicked out of SOLDIER now! He’d have to move back home to Gongaga and live in his parent’s basement and work as a hunter or farmer! Oh no!

“I saw what you did to the two guys before they cut you down. You have potential. A potential I’d like to see grow. Are you interested in becoming my student?"

[starry-eyed-butch]

Birthday Help, I'm sorry. (I'm not gonna tag you, but you should know that you've helped me tremendously and I DO NOT want you to see this and be like "well shit". love you long time, just gotta go through my panic mode sometimes and birthdays really bring it out of me).

Hey, I have received help in the last few years that I couldn't have gone without and I'm so grateful and also constantly embarrassed and ashamed that I need help. I feel like I need it more than most other folks, and then I remember I don't really have family nor a significant other like most households.

I can't guarantee I could pay anything back or I wouldn't be in this position anyways but if you can think of something I can do as repayment, I will do my best.

My birthday is on the 17th. I haven't quite figured out how I'm gonna buy textbooks for classes that start the 27th, one of which is about $200 for the lab kit since I'm an online student. If it helps, I've been on Deans' list twice and honor roll once (found out my mom had cancer and kind of fucked off), that was just my first year. This is the start of my second. So far, it's just my biology class that has the needed purchases. Oregon state tries to reduce textbook costs so I'm hoping my other three classes will be providing materials again.

I'm also maybe hoping to be able to make myself a little cake or something (like $4), and I'm still trying to not have my electric shut off or my car repo'd (both are many, many dollars). The other big one is a pair of shoes for work, I've been wearing the same non-slip crocs the entire time at work (3 years in april). The slip resistance is mostly scuffed off and I have plantar fasciitis so it's been fun. I'd just get another pair and they're like $35. I tried to get another pair and hadn't realized my credit line with kohl's had lapsed without warning.

I work full time, I'm a full time student when it's in session. I give plasma so I can eat and have gas for work. I just don't know if I can swing a second job and be mentally well enough to exist (again, for years I worked like 90 hours a week, that's how I got my car in the first place, and then I moved back across the country 3 months before the pandemic really got kickin').

Anything helps, ya know? I've given the car people over $500 so it's put the other things on the wayside. $233 to keep my electric on. So I'm behind on a lot of other things. Late fees are killer, and overdraft fees and negative balance every check because of it. Just keeps rolling.

I begged for a raise and got .50 and my new general manager gave me a referral bonus in the system to help with my car. I'm trying so hard.

I have a cashapp $exrae

And paypal if people still do that, arw004@yahoo.com

I think I have venmo still too.

Anything at all helps, I'll be 32, just trying not to be bummed about it.

[writingfortheheart]

Counting to 30: Marcianna 4

The previously empty halls in the campus complex were now full of students going to their respective classes. Marcianna attempted to weave through the throng of women hurrying to their next destination, but found it quite difficult. Among the sea of leotards were also dotted a few students wearing street clothes. They would be going to theory classes where they'd learn dance history, among other things. Those were the only classes at the academy to be co-ed.

Women had an entire side of the campus to themselves with all the amenities, men had a separate side, both sides joined by a taller building in the middle that contained the clinic Marcianna had just come from, a bunch of classrooms, a large auditorium where practical exams and end of year productions took place, and a library.

A familiar bun caught Marcianna's eye as she entered the dance studio wing, Beth had just stepped out of her current class for a quick break. She still had her leather ballet slippers on, normally a faux pas in the hallway, but she wouldn't be very long. "Hey, newbie!", she said as Marcianna waved, "How has your day been so far?"

Marcianna did a quick shrug. "Fine. I still haven't done a class yet. That will change soon, though. I only have one today, then I think I'll just go back to the dorm". Beth nodded, "Who's your prof?". Marcianna responded, "Professor Julie".

Beth gave Marcianna a large smile, "Aww, I love her, she's awesome. I think they give her the intro students so they don't get scared off. She'll put you through your paces, though".

Beth's big, white smile and friendly voice suddenly made Marcianna feel a lot more comfortable. "I can't wait to hang with you back at the dorm", Marcianna grinned. Beth threw back her head and laughed, "After today, I'll be glad to take care of you". She did a quick check of her watch, "I gotta get back in there, and you should get to your class, too. I'll see you later".

The hallway where Marcianna's classroom was smelled of flowers. Just a faint smell, but noticeable. A large glass wall gave her a peek inside where several dancers were milling about, some doing warm up stretches on the floor, some standing with groups talking. A long wall opposite the one she was looking through was also made of glass, a window displaying the outside world, a cliffside overlooking a wooded area. The sky had gone grey and it had started to rain. It caused Marcianna to shiver, but she admired the beauty of it. The entire perimeter of the studio, including the glass walls, was lined with a barre, along which many students chose to stretch.

Marcianna stepped in and found a place to pull off her nylon booties and get comfortable. She sat in front of the large window to the outside and rested her back against it, feeling the coolness of the glass against the area cut from the back of her leotard. She stared at her feet for a moment, pointing and flexing them, making the leather on her slippers wrinkle. "This is real...", she thought to herself. She contemplated her slippers a bit more she a woman in her late 30s walked in. "Good afternoon, ladies! I am professor Julie, you can just call me Julie, welcome to intro to ballet here at Hope International".

Julie's long skirt flowed as she walked to the front of the class, her teaching shoes, black shoes similar to jazz shoes with a large heel, clicking on the shiny wood floor. "Most of you are already on the floor, let's start with some floor work!", she said, clapping her hands together. Marcianna listened to Julie's instruction and followed along to Julie's counts.

A hour later, Marcianna was drenched in sweat, her body was aching like it never had before, she was done for the day. She trudged back to her dorm, pulling her keycard from her bootie and swiping it against the lock. A beep, a click, the door opened. Beth sat on the couch, a plate of raw veggies in her hand as she watched TV. "I told you she wouldn't be easy on you", Beth said, placing her plate on the counter. "Go get undressed, I'll get you some ice".

Marcianna sat down on her bed, taking her modesty skirt off and tossing it to the floor, followed by her leotard. She swung her legs up and laid down on the bed, suddenly very comfortable, she felt like sinking in. "Are you decent?", Beth's voice came in through the door. "You're fine. We'll probably see each other naked at some point", replied Marcianna, a groan of pain in her voice.

The ice packs were cold as Beth carefully laid each one over strategic parts of Marcianna's body, but with the cold came relief. Beth started to massage Marcianna's calf muscles. "Trust me, this gets you feeling better faster". Marcianna closed her eyes and let Beth do her work. "How did you learn to do this?" she asked. "Lots of years of doing it myself. I started in sports medicine, fell into ballet, I figured if that falls through I can go back to sports medicine again".

"It's only our first day and I already like you, Beth", Marcianna forced a smile. Beth stopped a moment. "I think I like you, too..." she said, red filling her cheeks. She continued massaging. "There's supposed to be a welcome party tomorrow night. I'll be going to help out, but we can hang out after. I know a good place."

Marcianna took a deep breath in and smiled. "Yeah, that sounds nice..."

TO BE CONTINUED

[drowning-inmysleep]

cruel angels requiem

"He was a good friend of mine, He died. Why write about him now? Gotta honor him somehow." June 11th, 2023 I received three calls in a row from my dad while I was at work. His father, my grandfather, has been sick for the past year and it's been progressively getting worse. Once I noticed the missed call I stepped outside to call him back, fearing my grandfather's condition had worsened. He picked up and I asked him frantically "Are you okay? What's going on?" he told me his phone has been having issues lately and he must of accidentally called me. I ask him again if anything was going on, and to that he said no. We continued our conversation like usual, me making jokes at the way his phone made his voice sound, and ended the call as I went back into work.

I was relieved what I feared/felt in my heart wasn't true but still couldn't shake the feeling that someday soon my grandfather will pass and I won't ever hear him call me baby and kiss my head when I hugged him goodbye again.

It was a long shift, about 10 hours, I got home late. I worked on finishing my project for school, was confirmed that I passed the course and spent the rest of the night drinking modelos and playing Diablo 4 in celebration. That night (last night) when I went to sleep I remembered the call I had with my dad, thought a lot about my grandpa and fell asleep. I had a lucid dream again, in which I was at my grandparents house watching a movie with them. My grandma was in the kitchen, leaving me and my grandpa alone in the living room. He looked at me and asked if I remembered the movie we were watching, I did but not enough to fully recall. He told me "this was that movie me and your grandma rented when you were a kid, the one that scared you so bad you had to sleep in bed with us!" and laughed, I laughed too. We must of watched the entire movie in that dream, and when it was over he looked at me and said "You know I'll always love you, right?". I didn't know why he was telling me this out of the blue, but then in the dream I remembered the call I had from my dad (in real life) the day before. I told him I loved him too, and that I was sorry I wasn't around as much the past few years. He told me not to worry about that, and said he's always asking about me. My grandma (from the kitchen) joined in and said the same thing, that he always asked about me. I woke up after that, and went about my day. I have dreams like this often and didn't think too much of it, though I remembered my sister calling me in the dream, which is what woke me up. Around 2:00pm my sister called me three times, I missed them, and she texted me "Please call me back". I called her back, she'd informed me that my grandfather had passed away. I didn't cry when I talked to her, maybe because she was crying so much. That's how it always is, I never cry when I talk to my sister, because it'll make her cry even more. We talked for awhile, she told me that his condition suddenly worsened this weekend. This morning he was in critical condition, and my father and aunt came over to take him to the hospital. He died a few hours later. I still didn't cry, but once she passed the phone to my mom I broke down.

I've spent the entire day talking to my family over the phone, since I live a few states away and it's all I can do for now. I've heard them all cry, and all tell me how much my grandfather loved me, and how much he'd ask about me. They told me he was proud of me, and I knew that.

I'm writing this during my final class for school, this is my way of processing and understanding where I'm at mentally. I have severe issues with disassociation, and felt myself falling into that earlier today. Whenever this issue first cropped up in my life, I was 14 and that's also when the lucid-drowning-dreams began. Whenever I have lucid dreams it's almost like a warning to me that something is about to shift.

When I spoke to my father, he told me he and my brother also had a feeling in the pit of their stomach this weekend. That something was about to happen, that our grandfather would pass.

I have so much to say about him, and so many moments in which he was there for me when no one else could be. He was a very sweet man, with rough hands and tough/large exterior. The type of guy that you might be intimidated to speak to, but once you do He had been to prison a few times, and was involved in organized crime up until my youngest aunt was born. There are lots of stories in which my dad or one of my aunts recalls him coming home late at night, with blood on his hands and shoes.

I don't know the specifics of what he was involved in, but if I had to guess it was probably cargo theft / redistribution. He stopped being immediately involved and started a construction company whenever my brother was born, his first grandchild.

My family comes from a rough industrial Midwest neighborhood called Spanish Lake, in Missouri. Known as one of the top ranked "Dying communities in the United States", Spanish Lake was blighted by institutionalized and commercialized racism. My parents talk about when the first black family moved into Spanish Lake, and how white residents would burn crosses on their lawn. I have 3 aunts, Tricia, Kristen and Bianca. Bianca is not related by blood, but is my aunt Kristen's (Aunt KK) childhood bestfriend. Bianca was black, and the second or third black family to move into Spanish Lake. When she was a teenager and hanging around my aunt KK a lot, her father and her had issues. He was physically abusive to the point that my entire family knew, the night Bianca fought back he hurt her so bad that she had to go to the ER, and he then told her she was disowned and not allowed to return. Bianca then went to my dad's teenage house, and upon learning what happened my grandfather took Bianca in as his own. Her father came to the house a few days later to apologize, my grandfather let him in and kept watch on the situation. Bianca told him that she would not return, and that my grandparents would be taking care of her from that point on. In response to that he got up and began to yell, and get violent. My grandfather came out of the kitchen and took him outside. He told KK and Bianca to get to their room and lock the doors. Apparently my grandfather tried to talk him down, to which Bianca's father said that Bianca was no longer his daughter. My grandfather knocked him out and dragged him off the property, waited for him to wakeup before telling him never to come near her again. from that point on Bianca was my dad and aunts sister, she and KK loved taking care of me when I was a baby.

Bianca loved my grandfather, would call him dad sometimes, but mostly called him Johnny. Her father never returned. When I was a child I had a lot of difficult with anxiety, and would skip school often. Half the time my Grandpa would pick me up once the principals called my parents, since he knew the route I had to take to walk home. Everytime he'd pick me up, ask me how I was doing, and drive me home. He never got mad at me or punished me for this, just made sure I got home safe and was okay. A few years after that I had fallen into a deeper bout of anxiety/matured depression, and I tried to kill myself multiple times. The first time my dad found me, the second time my brother found me, the third time my grandfather found me. The third time, my grandfather was tipped off by my sister that I'd been making her worry and was locked in the bathroom. I won't go into the details of the process, but she kept trying to get me to leave and I wouldn't. She was screaming and crying, and eventually I heard the front door open. I heard heavy footsteps come down the stairs, walk up to the bathroom door. In a instant the locked door was broken open, my grandfather rushing in. He said "oh my god, baby!" when he saw me, picked me up and put me over his shoulder and took me outside, telling my sister to stay inside and lock the door. I was so scared, he'd never shown any anger or violence towards me but if he did then, I wouldn't of been surprised. He didn't put me down, I was 17 years old at the time and 5"8. He was in his 60s, and held me so tight off the ground while he pet the back of my head and repeated "oh my god Alex". He kissed the side of my head over and over again, and told me we were going to the hospital. I immediately felt the deepest sense of regret I've ever felt in my life, as my grandfather cried and told me "There is no way in this life that you will die before me". It's hard to talk about the details of this, but I had told him I was tired of taking medicine for depression and anxiety all the time and I wanted to quit everything. I told him I needed something to hold onto, and all he said back was "hold onto this" and held out his hand. After that day I never again attempted suicide, I was put in a hospital for a month and a half, my grandfather visited multiple times a week. The first time he did, he gave me an envelope and said it was from him and my father. There were two letters inside, one written by my grandfather and another by my father. They were heartfelt, multi paged letters saying all the things that were too hard to in person I assume. My grandfather's letter was where he told me about his criminal background, and how dark the world had seemed until he met my grandmother Pam, and until he saw the faces of his children. He told me thought about suicide too. Most importantly he finished the letter saying "I will always love you, I do not feel any anger or disappointment in you at all for this." He said when he saw me he knew I'd be trouble, but that I'd be loved and favorited by my family. And that was true, I was a problem child, had a lot of issues up until I moved out/got kicked out, but at the same time everyone in my family loved me very much. My grandparents and my aunts would fight over watching me and taking care of me. I spent a lot of time at my grandparents house. If my grandfather wouldn't of broken that door down I don't know if I'd be writing this out now. I know both of those stories are harrowing examples of the love he showed me and everyone in his life, but at the same time that's who he is. He's someone that's been through so many problems and scenarios, yet he handled all of them and put his family before himself.

I remember when I was 10 I got a guitar for my birthday, and I'd never played but he told me to plug it in and play. I did for a few hours and he sat there watching me, even though it probably sounded horrible.

The last time I saw him he asked me about how music was going and I told him it was alright, and that I was in town to play a show with my friends. He asked if I got paid for it and I told him yeah, I get paid pretty handsomely. He told me how proud he was and how great that is, saying he knew it's what I always wanted.

Seeing him these last two times was really hard, he was a decayed version of himself and was very weak. Still a large, imposing figure, but one with a fragile shell. I ate dinner with him and my Grandma. Me and my Grandma went outside to smoke cigarettes', and during she told me how scared she was of him passing away. She told me he was her world, that he'd been with her for 50 years.

I was sad to see my grandma like this, however I decided to speak to her like anyone would. We had a very real conversation about all of it, and while it was sad, I was happy to speak with her in a way that proved I had grown up, and different from the kid my grandpa found in the bathroom.

today I spoke with her and she told me "Your grandfather loved you so much baby, he was always asking about you. You know he always loved you right? He was so proud of you."

I cried harder than I did all day, and typing this out I'm crying again.

I think i'm a lot like my grandfather, from toughness / roughness around the edges, to not being afraid to show love to those around us. A few years back at a family get together my grandfather was asking me about my new tattoos. I showed him a cross I'd poked into myself on my finger, he pulled out his hand (The one he 'gave' to me in the story above) and showed me he had the same cross tattooed on the same finger. He'd done it himself as well, in prison. My dad's family always calls me baby. They call everyone that, it's something that's seeped into the way I speak. They're the type to kiss the side of your head when they say goodbye.

When I think about showing love or speaking to the ones I love, I think about how my grandfather would talk to me.

today I'm remembering the last time I saw him, two weeks ago. he hugged me tighter than he had in a long time, kissed my head, said "I love you baby you come back soon", and I left.

[effervescentbee]

Just an update on my homework, I turned it in at 11:51 pm, 8 full minutes before it was due <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠>

Now all I gotta do is study for my algebra, chemistry, and medical terminology test tomorrow ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

This is what I get for thinking I could handle all these advanced courses when I am chronic procrastinator

And cause I feel bad posting without it being something fandom related take stressed out miles (note that any and all stuff about miles and school is definitely me complaining about my school work)

When miles got to his dorm the first thing he did was kick off his shoes and fall face first onto the bottom bunk (I always say bottom/top bunk cause I have no idea who has which bunk Q^Q)

It had been a long day

The worst part? His day wasn't over, he still had a mountain of homework to get through. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration but it definitely felt like a mountain of homework when he sat down and stared at the pile of notebooks and folders full of assignments for each of his classes

This was always the hardest part, actually starting. Should he start with the easiest ones to give himself a bit of a break before getting into the harder ones? Or maybe he should just get the harder ones out of the way? Maybe it was smarter to start with his first period homework since it was due first?

Miles groaned as he let his head fall into his desk with a loud bang. why did this have to be so complicated?

Miles felt his phone buzz in his pocket, he should really turn his phone off unless he wants to get distracted. He pulled the device out of his pocket and nearly broke down in tears right then and there, it was a reminder that there was a test in his math class tomorrow, one he had not studied for yet

That just added to the list of work and questions of what he should do first. Now that he was aware he had a test it was probably more important to study for it then to do homework, it was worth more of his grade after all- but, he had missed so much schoolwork already and he wasn't sure if he could afford to not do the homework

Miles sighed as he pulled out his computer, he had to check his grades to make sure he could afford this, not doing the homework. He froze as he pulled up website, he really didn't want to check his grades

What if he was failing? He knew it was an unreasonable thought, just a few weeks ago he had all A's and he had been doing all the work he could and he knew he had been getting nothing but A's and B's on those, a missed day or two wasn't going to bring his grade down that bad, but what if?

Miles sucked in a sharp breath, checking his grades right now was not an option, and it wouldn't be an option until he was certain he was passing

What did that leave him with then? 7 classes worth of homework and a test to study for, all in- miles checked the time, it was 5:32

Right, 7 classes and a test in 13 hours, when he put it that way it didn't sound too bad. Miles looked through his homework, 2 worksheets, 3 packets, 1 essay, a few chapters of a book to read, and all the reviewing he had to do

Okay, he could start with math, his first period. All he had was a worksheet that would take maybe 30 minutes, then he couldn't move on to his next class and read the book, that would take him about an hour or so

The other worksheet would also take 30 minutes, each of the 3 packets would take an hour, the essay would take maybe two hours plus, and he could review for an hour at the minimum

That would all take... 8 hours at the minimum, let's move it up to 9 hours just to be safe. That left him 4 hours, he could use that time to shower and look over his work to make sure it was right. Then he couldn't go over his math notes one last time and then he'd go to class and he'll have all his work done and he'll be ready for the test

This could really work. Sure this means he has to stay up all night but it's not like it'd be the first time, besides, his parents always told him his number one concern in life should be school

With that, miles sat at the desk and began working on his homework

Just me projecting last week lol

Anyways I don't know how to tag and always use the minimal amounts so if someone could reach me that'd be great cause I suck at this

[somevirtualnolife]

A Winter Run For Love Chapter 1

Also on Ao3

Fandom: Tokimeki Memorial: Girl's Side 4 Rating: T Pairing: Sassa Nozomu x OC Summary: It's almost Christmas, and Habataki University's track and field team is looking to host their first Goukon (group date). Nozomu Sassa is initially reluctant but feels ready to start dating again since high school. With the help of Akari Saikai, the team's manager, will he finally run in the right direction towards love?

Author's Notes:

I initially wanted to write a one-shot, but then decided it would work as a short, multi-chapter fic! I have wanted to write a TMGS university fic for a while because there are certain things that you could do in a university setting that wouldn't be appropriate in a high school (drinking, flexible hours, etc.). I don't plan to make this super explicit or anything, but I just wanted a chance a different dating opportunities.

Akari Saikai is actually the name of my Mari in TMGS4, but I thought it would be fine to have her as a separate character! Kind of like one of the girls you would meet in the first two games who is crushing on the same guy that you might be after.

Other than Saeki Teru, Sassa is one of my favorite LI of the series. I just love his positive attitude while also being acutely aware that he is a guy who is into girls and gets all embarrassed about it. So I hope that maybe through this fic, you might get a chance to see why he's so endearing!

Chapter 1: On Your Mark

“A goukon?”

“I’m telling you, group dates are a great way to finally meet some girls on campus! We go to one now, we basically have a date for Christmas. You’re in, right Sassa?”

A small group of second-year university boys stretched in the middle of the track and field grounds of Habataki University. While the weather was cool, no snow had fallen yet. Ideal conditions for Nozomu Sassa to run longer distances and build up his stamina. But this also meant more energy for the rest of the team to come up with a bunch of ridiculous schemes, in his opinion.

“I dunno,” the brunette rolled his shoulders, hopping from one foot to the next.

“Come on, man! If we get the track and field ace to join, the girls are sure to flock. The season’s done anyway, we can take it a bit easier.”

“You know him, his first love is running,” another young man named Takeda added.

“Yeah-yeah, I get it. My brain is nothing but white lines and hurdles,” Sassa placed his hands on his hips. He’s heard it all before.

“You’re not warmed up yet? Everyone else is already on the tracks,” A young woman with long dark hair and glasses approached the young men with a clipboard in hand.

Akari Saikai. She and Sassa had known each other since their high school days. She was the team’s manager back then as well. He always attributed part of his success to winning the nationals to her in his final year. When he realized that she also got into the same university, he basically begged her to join as manager again. Sure, Akari was always a bit strict, but he always quite liked it. Pushed him to train harder, but also knew when it was time to rest.

“Sorry, manager! We’ll be hitting the tracks soon! We just got caught up in some stuff,” Sassa responded with a large grin.

“Oi, Saikai-san. Whaddya think? Goukon? We still need a couple of girls,” Hiiro winked, shooting some finger guns at her.

“I think that you should worry about your run times rather than finding a date,” Akari was deadpan in her delivery, not even bothering to look up from her clipboard.

“Come on, we’ve been working hard all season! Besides, you gotta know a few single cuties from your classes, right?” Hiiro continued.

“I do. Doesn’t mean I want you to meet them.”

“Oooof, harsh as always, manager,” Takeda tried to stifle a laugh for the sake of his teammate.

“Come on, guys, let’s just hit the track,” Sassa clapped his hands together and then motioned for the rest of them to follow as he started to jog. It wasn’t before long the rest of them followed suit.

“Come on, dude” Hiiro flanked the team’s ace to his left. “You had a great season, the top of your game! You should reward yourself.”

Sassa’s face turned beet red. “Don’t put it like that, it’s creepy!”

“What he means to say is that it’s nice to just have a night out,” Takeda came up on the other side. “This is just as much for you as it is for us.”

The brunette twisted his mouth a bit but didn’t break his stride. He hadn’t really dated anyone seriously since his high school years. Not since…

“Just… let me think about it, alright?”

*

After practice, Sassa showered and changed back into his blue flannel shirt and jeans before throwing on his jacket. Another end to the day. He was

As he left the university’s gates, his eyes caught a familiar-looking figure walking ahead of him. Long back hair, tied back in a ponytail, dark green trenchcoat…

“Hey, Akari-san! Heading home?” he quickly jogged up beside her, shifting his backpack on his shoulder.

“Yeah, just grabbing the train,” she responded, burying her face in her scarf.

“I’ll walk you to the station! It’s nearby the place I’m picking up dogs for a walk,”

“That reminds me, my uncle was looking for a dog walker for a couple of weeks since he has to work a few extra hours. Would you be interested?”

“Sign me up!” If Sassa had a tail, he would probably be wagging it. He loved dogs, he loved running, so naturally, being a dog walker was a great part-time job for him.

Akari chuckled slightly. “I’ll let him know,” Though her face was hidden, Sassa could tell that there was a soft smile behind that scarf.

“So,” she continued as they walked. “A goukon, huh?”

“Ah… yeah. You know how Hiiro is. Sorry about that,”

“If he put as much energy into dating as he did his training…”

“He’s not so bad. I’m sure he’ll be ready in time for the next season,”

“You’re going too, hm?”

Sassa’s muscles stiffened, the usual pep in his step coming to a halt. “Well…”

“I don’t think I’ve seen you on a date since Konami-san,” Akari mused. “This is pretty big for you.”

Ahh, Konami Minako-san… Mari was what she typically went by back then. She was something else. Smart, super cute, bubbly… unfortunately, things didn’t work out in the end. Before he could tell her how he felt, someone else did before he could. It shouldn’t have surprised him that other guys felt the way he did. Mari just had that magnetism to her. And he supposed it must have been pretty obviously how he felt if Akari took notice.

He felt a bit sheepish.

“Hiiro and Takeda really want me to go,” he replied. “Don’t know what use I’ll be unless the girls want to talk track,” Which would be fine if it was with the other girls on the team, but again, dating within the team wasn’t a great idea either. Could cause a lot of unnecessary friction if things didn’t work out.

“But it could be fun,” he finally admitted. He may have running on the brain, but he was still human. A couple of drinks, some games, cute girls… yeah, it was appealing. Honestly, he was ready to just have a good time with no pressure.

“Well, I suppose you all worked very hard,” Akari finally admitted as they stopped in front of Daigaku Station. “And as much as I hate to admit it, I might know one girl who might find Hiiro-kun charming. And there are certainly a few others in my economics class that would certainly be interested in trying to find a date for Christmas as well,”

“Ahh, Akari-san, that’s why you’re the best manager! Always making these connections,” Sassa grinned widely, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

“Yeah-yeah,” she waved her hand dismissively, getting back into her club roll, and pulling out her phone. “I’ll send Hiiro a LINE. He better have chosen a good izakaya.”

“Cool! So, I guess I’ll see you Saturday then, right?”

Akari’s green eyes suddenly seemed unreadable behind the lens of her glasses. “I suppose so.”

With that, the young woman waved before leaving Sassa on his own. He couldn’t be entirely sure, but he was pretty sure that he saw her cheek flush a shade of pink as she pulled down her scarf before she entered the station.

Huh.

[tucommuter]

Overheard

Monday:

Person 1: Is it worth skipping ci on tuesday? I’m trynna work.

Person 2: Nah, go to class

Person 3: Skipping school for work is wild

Person 1: I need the money

Person 4: Are we hopping on later? Val cod or dbd

Person 2: Im down for dbd later

Tuesday:

Person 1: lmk bro when we can get lil adventure going

Person 2: U ain’t busy yo?

Person 1: right now?

Person 2: Later, I can dip 215ish

Person 1: yeah lets do it

Person 2: Bet, also I got mk1

Person 1: sheesh

Person 2: We can play a lil after if you down, when you trynna slide?

Person 1: I need to pump gas but in a few

Person 2: Cuz Im getting ready rn for the adventure, lmk

*hours later

Person 2: Yo thanks again for yesterday bru, I really had fun and a good time

Wednesday:

Person 1: We have to start practicing for the winter basketball league

Person 2: Yeah if it wasnt freezing just get on the game

Person 1: yall soft we used to be outside in this weather last year

Thursday:

Person 1: I feel like as time goes on theres always a fallout of the group

Person 2 : Yeah I agree sometimes change is good but a lil too much is bad

Person 1: I guess it comes with getting older

Person 2: Yeah man its been so long since I had deep talks with the boys it seems like they all are doing their own thing

Friday:

Person 1: Do you still want me to take the 12:30

Person 2: Yeah I gotta take the test in a bit

Person 1: kk