#and i saw one a while ago that was like 'recommending you books based on specific settings' and one of them was FOREST

[boycritter]

I HATE YOU BOOK INSTAGRAM

[jjenthusee]

Where We Are

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader

A/N: honestly this has been marinating in my mind for a while because a while ago I saw @sunnie-angel post this small writing (linked here) and I wanted to write something for it, but I haven’t gotten to sit down and complete something :( BUT i finally sat down and wrote because i needed something as a break from my end of semester stress from school :D i would also recommend reading the linked post first so it gives some context and insight to why i was so drawn to it and how it heavily inspired this fic. ENJOY and like, comment if your comfortable 💐

Summary: How do you live with the memories of Jason after his death as Robin?

Tags: AAAANGST, have a nice day :)

Word Count: 1.6k

A boy.

Full of so much life and raw emotion, who stood against the worst of Gotham.

He saw so much of its poison. It struck him, filled his veins, but he fought every day against the pain. Only when he finally left did Gotham return its thanks.

Everyday was torture. The memorials, the photographs, the graffiti. Streets littered with “We remember you.” Every waking second was a reminder that he was gone.

No more late night chats, meeting at the library, leaning against his shoulder.

You can still taste the bile that consumed your throat when you opened your door to Alfred standing there with the most chilling expression. Once he said your name in such a matter-of-fact tone, you knew. Your heart ached the same way it did when your thoughts brought you back to your worst fears, maybe it ached worse but that memory is buried in the back of your mind.

You slammed the door on Alfred. Grabbing your phone, calling one of the most recent phone numbers in your call history. It rang and rang. Nothing.

You left voicemail after voicemail. Begging, yelling, crying into the ending message to pick up.

You couldn’t walk down the road that led to the same library you spent all summer with him. The humid air beating down on you before the air conditioning sent a chill down your back. Scanning your library cards, returning books, letting Jason give you recommendations.

The memory made your eyes water.

You did everything to avoid it all.

Taking the longer path to school, playing music in your ears loud enough to drown out the passerby’s conversations about how tragic such a thing could happen to a young boy, avoiding any sort of color that matched the suit he was so proud of.

The same one that took him.

The more you avoided, the more the image of him chased you. Billboards, coffee cups, baseball caps. Robin was everywhere.

Until you saw a memorial video that some Gothamite made on social media.

It broke you one more time.

You screamed and screamed until your voice couldn’t. He was gone. Your Jason was truly gone.

You couldn’t get mad at him cheating at board games, you wouldn’t hear his laugh, no more asking him to drop off food while he was on patrol.

The world took the other half that completed you.

When the pain numbed out and you felt the guilt of your actions, you apologized to Alfred. You got back on track for school, the world wasn’t better, but it didn’t weigh on you as much.

You finally took a walk down the road you didn’t dare look down. You held your breath when you crossed over the invisible line, taking you down a familiar path, but with only one pair of shoes on the sidewalk this time.

You walked with your hands clenched, before you found yourself in front of one of the small memorial stands. A tiny Robin keychain stared back at you. You paid the seller with cash and continued on your walk.

The air hung heavy in your lungs as you stopped. Coming face to face with Jason’s favorite gargoyle that sat in front of the library steps. You fought the tears with lowered eyebrows and a stiff expression to place the key chain on the base of the statue. You grabbed a permanent marker out of your bag to write in big bold letters, “We Remember You.”

It was sloppy writing, but it captured your unrelenting, unapologetic emotions that Jason had always told you was why he loved being your friend.

As the weeks went by, more tiny Robins appeared on the gargoyle. Flowers were placed and you finally listened to the city mourn your friend.

Eventually you graduated, took a job at the library because you didn’t know anything about your future into being a young adult. Life was simple, it was enough.

You finally felt some stability on the anniversary of Jason’s death before you heard talk of a new Robin. That a replacement had been made.

You were at a rage again.

When times were too tough or when you just didn’t know how to handle yourself, you called Jason’s phone. Leaving voicemails admitting how much you missed him, how mad you were that he couldn’t even wait until you were able to beat how many books he checked out at the library, now it wasn’t fair to continue the competition by yourself. How mad you were that they didn’t retire the Robin suit after he sacrificed everything for it.

You didn’t even question how his phone line was still running as long as you could leave more voicemails.

When your rage started to cool, you joined Alfred one morning while the cold air chilled your face. Alfred handed you a hot tea that you refused to take, but Alfred always managed to get his way. It brought a smile to your face when you realized Jason used to do the same thing.

You walked with him down your familiar path to work. Before Alfred could say anything, your body unconsciously walked up to a new park bench. It wasn’t worn, but freshly placed with a shiny plaque that you couldn’t move your eyes from.

“In memory of Jason Todd-Wayne, a son who is loved as much as he loved books.” You quietly read.

You couldn’t move. You didn’t say anything to Alfred as he handed you a handkerchief when you felt the tears drop down your chin. The two of you just stood there, admiring the wood, the brass, and the memories.

When Alfred said his goodbyes, you stayed there. Afraid to sit down, but afraid to leave.

You spent the following anniversary standing next to the bench, next to the one place that was so precious to your childhood. The fear prevented you from taking a seat.

By the next anniversary, you managed to sit on the bench. Alfred visited again, shining the plaque and wiping down the park bench. You didn’t say much, but it was comfortable and breathing wasn’t that difficult that year.

By the most recent anniversary, you were starting to spend every important milestone at Jason’s bench. When you got your degree in library science, you sat with your cap and gown. When you got a job promotion at the library, you came to sit and watch the sunset.

Life was content as you passed Jason’s bench and gargoyle on your way to and from work. It was a part of you.

One late night as you locked up the library, making sure all the part-timers and volunteers made their way out safely and secured the doors, you said goodbye to your coworkers as you made your way down the worn steps.

Your feet ached from the new shoes that didn’t support you enough, but your walk back to your apartment would be short to endure the pain. The fatigue could wait until you walked through the front door.

You trudged through the familiar path, passing the same trees, shops, gargoyle. Fifteen paces, another thirty, but you couldn’t continue to count your steps when you saw someone facing Jason’s bench.

A tall man, large build, covered in a large hoodie with the hood raised. Only a couple strands of hair stuck out the opening, but you couldn’t see a clear face.

It was eerie how still the figure was, the small fog of breaths were the only indicator that the person was living.

You quickly moved to the edge of the sidewalk as you distanced yourself from the large man. You held your breath as you briskly walked passed, but a small ache hit your chest. A tiny feeling, so minuscule that you tried to talk yourself into not looking back.

Why would you do that late at night in Gotham?

Two paces, five paces. You paused and turned your head over your shoulder.

They were gone. Only a clear yellow street light shining down on Jason’s bench.

Weird.

But you weren’t going to find out what that was. You paced back to your apartment, throwing your jacket off, letting your aching muscles relax on the couch. You sighed as you couldn’t get the figure out of your head.

By the morning, you woke up early to get some breakfast on your way to work. A quick drink and some food to help give you some energy. You said ‘Good morning’ to the owners, passed by other early commuters.

You held your warm drink, breathing in morning air and taking your breakfast to-go, until you sat at Jason’s bench. It had been a while since you got to enjoy a meal there.

You sat, listening to the birds, seeing morning joggers pass, kids making their way to school, and you finished your meal. You got up to throw your trash away and took one last glance at the plaque.

You memorized the phrase engraved on there, but still took the time to read through every word. You took your hand out of your warm jacket pocket and felt your hand graze over the cold brass, your fingers feeling the grooves and the strict maintenance courtesy of Alfred.

In one last sigh, you turned to get to work, tapping the base of the gargoyle before the steps, happily humming to the calm start to your morning. Then another ache hit you just before your last step.

You turned around, but all the people hanging around the block were further away, enjoying the company of others or taking a stroll. You glanced around, unsure of what you were looking for.

But your search was interrupted by the cheerful voice of your coworker making his way up the steps.

You pushed down the feeling of the unknown, but some days you always felt like maybe Jason was with you, maybe from his bench built in his memory or the fact that this place was important to the two of you, but you always knew you were going to carry a portion of Jason with you.

In some comforting way, you told yourself that maybe your Jason never left.

[luvyeni]

THE BUTTERFLY GARDEN ; LEE HEESEUNG

pairings. yandere!heeseung x fem!reader

wc. 1.4k

warnings. dark fic, reader is trapped , but heeseung has brainwashed her , oral (m. recieving) , unprotected sex , names (butterfly, baby, pretty) this is just fiction , this doesn't portray heeseung irl at all !

synopsis. heeseung loves you so much , his pretty little butterfly.

authors note. loosely based off a book i read called the butterfly garden by dot hutchinson , it's a really good book , i recommend it ! someone asked for a yandere heeseung fic and i thought of this

heeseung loved butterflies , he thought they were the most beautiful creatures he'd ever laid eyes on. as a kid , he'd go to his grandparents's house — his grandfather was very rich man , who had a huge mansion , with a huge green house , the size of a mini mansion — that's where his grandmother kept all her flowers , and butterflies.

he'd watch the butterflies fly around the green house, all sorts of different colors , he was mesmerized by them. when his grandparents past , he inherited all the money , along with all the properties , including the green house.

heeseung hadn't outgrown his obsession , rather he gained a new one , you. he saw you one day , working at a coffee shop he often visited , he couldn't keep his eyes off you. he could remember the outfit you wore , a yellow sundress , you were so sweet , the way you greeted everyone. your smile , you were so beautiful , like a pretty little butterfly... he had to have you , he needed to add you to his butterfly collection.

he watched you for silently months , learning everything about you , where you were from , your family name , favorite things. you didn't have many friends , so that was good , no one to really miss you. while watching you , he made some moderations to the green house , adding a beautiful bedroom , with all your favorite things , along with a bathroom. he made sure everything was perfect — perfect for his newest and prettiest butterfly yet.

it was so easy befriending you , you were polite to anything with a pulse , all he had to was introduce himself , and your friendship blossomed from there. you thought he was so cute , you never really got attention from boys , so it was new. you'd seen him multiple times at the shop , so you were aware of his existence. he was kind , and sweet.

you never saw the signs , you would have never believed that the doe eyed boy had a sick and twisted plan brewing. first he got rid of your family , isolating you from them , telling you lies , saying that they hated that you two were so close , that he was only using you as a charity case , until you stopped contacting them all together. your so called friends didn't even need any pushing , he just wired a few thousand into their bank accounts , telling them to back off. when you came crying to him , telling him that they completely cut you , he put a act , telling how he always said they were no good , that he was the only one for you , he was your only friend , you believed him , you believed that he was the only person who had your back , that everyone else basically hated you.

that's when he knew he had you...

that was was about a year ago , a year and 6 months to be exact. a year and 6 months since you last seen your family , or friends , or the outside for thay matter. a year and 6 months since he trapped you in his butterfly garden.

"butterfly , where is my pretty little butterfly?" you heard his voice , the door closing on the way in. "im in here!" you called from the bathroom , running out into the indoor fields where you spent most of your days , alone with the butterflies , watching them fly around. "hello pretty , it's been a while hasn't it." you smiled , nodding. "almost a month , i missed you so much." it was sick , you knew that , but he was your only source of friendship , that love that you so desperately craved.

"did you , i missed my butterfly too , i watched you from the camera , wishing to be with you while on my trip." he said , pointing to the camera in the corner. "maybe next time i can go with you." he shook his head. "now you know you can't , butterflies are fragile , people will hurt butterflies and i can't have you getting hurt and corrupted by those people , now can i?" he caressed your cheeks , noticing your frown.

"those work trips are boring anyway , i would rather be playing here with you in the garden." you knew what he meant by playing. "don't you like playing here with me and the other butterflies?" his doe eyes always made you feel bad about asking to go out , he knew that and he loved to use it to advantage. "i do , i promise i do love the garden." he smiled. "good , now don't ask about it again , okay?" you nodded. "i won't heeseung , i promise."

"good , now how about you show me those pretty wings of your , take off your shirt off for me." you turned around , taking your sweater off , revealing the huge tattoo on your back — butterfly wings. he had gotten them tattooed on your back the 4th day you were trapped here , it took almost 5 months to heal. "so pretty." he could feel himself growing hard in his slacks , just from the tattoo. "my pretty butterfly." he pressed his hard cock against your ass.

"i think you're the prettiest one here." he kissed your shoulderblade. "butterflies don't live long , but you , you'll last forever , won't you." he kissed your neck. "hee-heeseung." you moaned softly , he was sick , this was sick , you shouldn't want him to touch you , you shouldn't crave his touch. "i'll never let you go." he bit down on your earlobe , he genuinely meant what he said , he was never gonna let you go.

"get down on your knees." he said sitting on your bed once you reached your room. you sunk down to your knees , his bulge right in front of your face. "you see how hard i am for you?" he palmed his cock , unzipping his pants , his cock slapping against his stomach. "come on , grab it." he groaned as you wrapped your hands around his cock , jerking him off. "fu-fuck , put it in your mouth." you obeyed , taking him fully into your cavern. "sh-shit , just like i trained you to do , good girl."

he grabbed the back of your head , guiding you up and down on his cock , you gagged around his length , tears wielding in your eyes. "you looks so pretty , gagging on my fat cock , drooling." he grunted , pushing your head down , fucking up into your mouth. "fu-fuck im gonna cum , gonna cum down that pretty throat of yours." he whined , pushing your head down one last time , keeping you there as he came , hitting the back of your throat. "fuck!" he pulled you off him , you coughed , finally being able to breathe.

"you did so good , took my cum so well." he pulled you up , manhandling you on to the bed , putting you into his favorite position , face down ass up , so he can see the wings on your back. "such a pretty sight , my beautiful butterfly." he lined his cock up at you entrance. "so tight." he filled you up , his cock stretching you open like always. "your pussy is always so good , you feel so nice around me struggling to take my cock." he grunted , thrusting inside of you.

"fucking beautiful baby , gonna keep you here forever -fuck- the only butterfly i need." he began to fuck into your hole much faster , you gripped the sheets below. "fe-feels like heaven." his eyes were trianed on the tattoos as he fucked you , pushing your back down to hit a new angle that made you scream. "shit , heeseung im gonna cum." he grunted , fucking you faster. "fuck , cum for me , cum all over my cock." he rubbed your clit , you mouth formes a 'o' shape before you came , legs shaking.

"oh fuck , you're squeezing my cock , im gonna cum." he pushed your body flat against the bed , using your tired body to get himself off. "fuck , im cumming ngh fuck !" he whined , his cum painting your walls , pulling out milking his cock , more cum spurting on your back. "sh-shit." he stuttered , he breathing heavy. he looked down at your body , almost getting hard again , the way his cum looked on the wings , made his cock jump in arousal. "shit , i'm gonna get hard again if i keep staring at your pretty wings , covered in my cum like that."

you whimpered , trying to move away. "n-no more." your voice horse , body sensitive to touch. "i know , i know my fragile butterfly is so sensitive." he climbed off of you. "no need for clothes , i want to see my butterfly covered in my cum for awhile , just for me." he wanted to capture this moment.

"my pretty little butterfly"

©️LUVYENI

[active-mind-15]

If the GoM + KagaKuro + Momoi had YouTube channels

I saw a headcannon post like this a few days ago and thought I'd take my own crack at what I think the YouTube channels of the main cast of KNB would look like if they had them. Hope you enjoy!

[KUROKO]

Mainly on the book side of YouTube.

He likes to do book reviews and book recommendation videos and keep people updated on what he's been reading recently.

He also does this thing where he opens up a Google Form every once in a while and takes suggestions from his subscribers on what to read and then he'll pick a few suggestions at random and give his thoughts in a video.

Sometimes he does vlogs where he hits up his favorite bookstores and encourages people to visit them (he mainly supports local bookstores and also is a big library advocate and often urges his viewers to support their local libraries, too).

On occasion, he uses YouTube shorts or the community tab to post pics and short vids about Nigou like taking him for a walk or dressing him in cute outfits (Nigou is Kuroko's pfp on his channel).

Kuroko also never shows his face in any of his videos and his viewers always get so curious about what he looks like, but when they ask for a face reveal, he never budges.

Because no one can see his face, they focus a lot on his voice and Kuroko has been told by many people that his voice is calming and he could definitely dip his foot into ASMR. He compromises by posting the occasional video of him reading excerpts from his favorite books.

[KAGAMI]

Very much a "ball is life" type of guy. He posts clips of his basketball game highlights from school tournaments. Also posts clips of him playing streetball with his team members from Seirin and sometimes other GoM members if Kuroko invites him to come play.

He posts travel logs, too. It could be something like him heading to LA to visit or to get some basketball training in with Alex. OR he could do "day in the life" vlogs in Japan where he just shows people how he's living. He posts them very sporadically, there's no schedule for any of his vlogs.

I feel like he could also do those "What it's like to live in ____" videos where he tells people about his experiences living in the US and Japan and gives people travel tips he's picked up along the way.

I bet he has YouTube shorts where he films what he eats in a day, and because of the sheer volume of food he consumes, his subscribers always think he's bullshitting because who tf eats that much in 24 hours?

He also does YouTube shorts where he cooks simple dishes. He always gives people an ingredients list so they can try the recipes, too.

He probably has both a domestic and international viewer base because he's bilingual (and I saw a headcanon someone had that Alex taught both Himuro and Kagami some Spanish so maybe he's even trilingual). When talking directly to viewers, he switches between languages a lot.

I bet he does livestreams too every once in a while when he's alone on a basketball court at night and wants some company, so he just props his phone up and comes back to it every so often to read the live chat.

[KISE]

Oh, he's a beauty guru through and through. I know he's got makeup tutorials on his channel. He also does viral makeup challenges (or maybe he creates his own challenges and they go viral on their own).

He also posts a lot of GRWM videos. Sometimes he gets ready for modeling work, and other times he gets ready for school or a basketball game.

Also, he deffo gets sponsorships from cosmetic brands all the time like maybe foundation or face wash. He just has so much social media presence that brands are all lining up to ask Kise to use their products.

I can see him doing vlogs, too. Usually when he's out doing modeling work. He likes to show his subscribers behind-the-scenes stuff about modeling and how the industry works.

He 100% does clothing hauls, too. He likes to pick clothing brands he thinks deserve more love so that his subscribers start shopping there and the brands get more business.

He does livestreams where he does Q&A with his subscribers and talks more about himself there. They're a fan-favorite because subscribers get to see him more laidback and comfy.

I can also see him trying to do simple dance challenges for YouTube shorts as well. He usually tries to drag his Kaijo teammates or even the other GoM into it. Some are more receptive than others, to put it lightly...

[MIDORIMA]

He's a weirdo (said endearingly) on YouTube. He makes content for all the boys and girlies interested in obscure niche topics.

I'm sure a good chunk of what he posts is related to horoscopes and compatibility stuff.

He also does livestreams where he does fortune-telling for his subscribers, usually summoning the power of whatever his lucky item is that day.

I would also like to think he does videos picking apart popular conspiracy theories and then going to war with said conspiracy theorists in the comments.

But then another part of his channel is almost like "study with me" type videos where he shows the process of completing homework or getting ready for an important test/exam.

A lot of people under his comments for those videos ask him for study tips and he freely gives out advice.

There are also people under his comments who talk about how stressed school makes them and he's actually very encouraging and supportive to them in his own way. He's big on motivating his subscribers to try their hardest and not to get too down on themselves if their results aren't as good as they expected. Because of this, his subscribers love to update him on their academic progress, both the good and the bad, and Midorima reads every single one of their comments.

[AOMINE]

Probably the most sporadic poster of them all. Nobody ever knows when this boy will post and he gives no heads up either. YouTube community tab is for losers. You'll see his videos when you see them.

Most of the time he uploads videos they're usually super short, maybe no more than 2 minutes long. And the content of these videos could honestly be about anything.

Sometimes they're clips of gameplay from a video game and other times, it's just him filming random stuff that captures his eye.

He doesn't edit or nothin, he just rawdogs the YouTube experience and posts his videos as they are from his phone.

In a way, you could call some of the videos vlogs, but they're just so short and borderline cryptic that his subscribers don't see them as anything other than shitposts. And that's precisely why Aomine has amassed a sort of cult following.

The non-shitpost short videos are ones where he films himself catching bugs in the summer. Those are actually super cute and wholesome because he likes to share factoids about the bugs he caught.

The only times he does longer videos is if he posts clips from streetball matches he has with the other GoM + KagaKuro. They're usually titled something like "Kicked Kagami's ass in b-ball today". Any and all dislikes on videos like that are solely from Kagami and all the burner accounts he uses to dislike Aomine's videos.

[MURASAKIBARA]

I think his most popular segment would be snack/sweet reviews. Especially when there are new limited edition flavors of something. Sometimes snack brands like to send him mystery boxes for him to open up on camera.

He also likes to talk about what he eats when he travels to new places, giving tips on places to eat in foreign countries that you may not find on an initial search online.

His subscribers treat his word like the holy bible and a lot of them will not trust a snack unless Murasakibara has said it's good. He's like the Keith Lee of snack YouTube. Very wholesome but also holds a lot of authority.

I think he would totally do mukbangs, too. He noticed his subscribers love it the most when he eats crunchy stuff, so a lot of his videos around that are him eating chips or his maiubo sticks. It's basically ASMR, at this point.

While he does mukbangs, he likes to rant talk about his day to his subscribers. They find it very endearing when he gets invested in telling stories.

I remember Fujimaki once saying Murasakibara's alternate future job would be a baker/patissier, so I think Murasakibara would also have content where he's just baking. He likes to take suggestions on what he bakes from subscribers. His taste testers are his Yosen teammates or the GoM if he happens to be down in Tokyo/Kyoto for whatever reason.

The only non-food content he has on his channel is his livestreams, where he plays video games. He either plays cozy farming sims or horror games. There is no in-between.

[AKASHI]

A total equestrian boy. A good chunk of his channel is riding sessions he has with his horse, Yukimaru. He answers questions about horses from his subscribers in the comments all the time. Sometimes you will see him under the comments of other good horse YouTube channels gushing about how beautiful those YouTubers' horses are and how well their owners take care of them. He asks them about certain riding gear he sees them use, too, so he can buy it for himself.

Another chunk of his channel is music-related. He likes to upload videos playing his favorite pieces on both the piano and the violin. He takes song requests from his subscribers, too. Once in a blue moon, he'll even post a piece he composed himself. One time, he posted a video of himself playing the violin for Yukimaru, and his subscribers thought it was the most precious thing ever.

He also posts videos of himself playing shogi, either by himself or whoever he has convinced into playing shogi with him. It's usually Midorima, and he always loses.

Speaking of Midorima, Akashi noticed his "study with me" videos and wanted to try doing it, too. This eventually led to once-a-month livestreams where Akashi studies by himself in his room. This led to his subscribers nicknaming him "Lofi Girl". He did not understand the reference.

He posts basketball stuff on there, too. Usually, stuff he's taken from his own team's practices as he observes them from the sidelines.

He also sometimes posts YouTube shorts of the Uncrowned Kings when he's hanging out with them. They're always candids of them engrossed in a conversation, or when they're goofing off, and during those times, when Akashi feels compelled, he'll sneakily record them and post it later, almost like an archive of memories to look back on and smile.

He's also pretty passionate about mental health and sometimes talks about it on his channel, encouraging people to normalize conversation around it. He gives updates on his own mental health journey (yes, I have a headcannon that he starts going to therapy after the Winter Cup) and his subscribers are always so supportive of him for being open and honest about it. His transparency in turn inspires his subscribers to take their own mental health more seriously and they give Akashi updates of their own. He always loves hearing their progress and always tells them to hang in there.

[MOMOI]

She loves a lil vlog here and there. She loves showing people what she does on a day-to-day basis. Her editing style is also super adorable.

She also likes to livestream to just talk to her subscribers about anything, really. A lot of times, it ends up being about romance, though.

Her content has a slight overlap with Kise in which she also does GRWM videos. Usually for school or to go into town. Sometimes this bleeds into her doing videos where she puts outfits together for specific situations and gives fashion/makeup advice to subscribers.

She does hauls, too, but it's all bath salts and bath bombs. She has an extensive collection of candles, too, and she loves to tell her subscribers when she gets new stuff.

She's probably also done a room tour, too, I bet. I like to think her bedroom has that gamer-girl vibe. Just all cute shit but at the same time she gets down to business you do not play around with data analyst Momoi.

I would say she also includes the other miracles the most out of everyone. Kise is usually the most willing participant in her videos. They probably team up for makeup challenge videos. Somehow they rope Aomine into them to be their test subject, may God bless his soul.

She also likes to take videos of the GoM when they have get-togethers. Her subscribers get a kick out of seeing their antics and they constantly tell her she has amazing friends. Momoi agrees.

Anyway, that was it from me. I don't think I've ever done a KNB headcanon post like this before, so I just wanted to try. I hope you guys liked it! ✨✨✨

[songmingisthighs]

Fire of My Passion

group : ateez

pairing : poly dragon!ateez × reader, dragon!seonghwa × reader

genre : angst, fantasy, mature

word count : 13.2k

warning : slight gore (murder, abuse), death threat, murder intent, depiction of attacks and casualties, mentions of people getting hurt, psychological anguish

a/n : this is a fic based on @thelargefrye 's dragon!ateez universe !! honestly i really love the fics, i've been recommending it everywhere. if you haven't checked it, please read them first before you read this >:) you can find the dragon!ateez fics here here (m, mdni) here (m, mdni) AND BY THE WAY SMALLS IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SUCH A LONG FUCKING WHILE IDK WHAT I WAS DOING ASOGHOSIGOSIJ I STARTED BULLSHITTING AND I CAN'T STOP

There were things that Seonghwa was used to; calm surroundings, his books in the library, his mates, and his clan. Everything was in order, as it should be since generations before and he loves it. This castle is his home, his sanctuary, where his past happened and where he will establish his future. All were as they are supposed to be.

That was until you came.

"Sunyeol, no!"

Just the sound of your voice was enough to ruin his whole day.

The voices made Seonghwa snap his head to see you running after a hatchling not too far behind him, a little boy named Sunyeol who was holding something in his hand, running past him with glee while you were in tow. Less than three months ago, Seonghwa didn't have to worry about being aware of things around him when he sleeps as the clan was secure in the mountains but now, his mates were sleeping with someone who could potentially kill them without having to lift a finger. How will his ancestors react upon learning that he and his mates, high-ranking members of their clan, were sleeping with the enemy and have mated with the enemy and even brought said enemy to their home, their little safe haven? To be frank, Seonghwa didn't know which part was worse but he resented himself for not preventing you from being admitted into their lives. Because as usual, the witches do whatever they want and everyone was simply supposed to go along with it despite the pain and anguish. So imagine his fury when he saw members of his clan being happy with you. He hated it. He hated YOU so much.

Seonghwa's steps halted when he saw you cornering the boy and alarms started blaring off in his head. The scene was just too reminiscent of the countless murders of both adults and hatchlings in his life. "Alright, Sunyeol, you give me my stone back or else," it was obvious (to you and the hatchling at least) that you were being playful, it was nothing but a ruse to make things fun and the hatchling looked very much happy and engaged, "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way," each step you took made Seonghwa's heart beat louder in his chest, ringing in his arms like drums, "And we both know we don't want me using the hard way," the smirk on your face was menacing to him, it was a sign of threat. At that point, Seonghwa was no longer even looking at Sunyeol, his eyes transfixed on you, on how you were preying on that little hatchling boy.

In a flash, Seonghwa had you pinned onto the wall, his arm pressing onto your chest suffocatingly in a diagonal angle, using his sleeve to separate you from him because he couldn't imagine the disgust, the utter uncleanness, the absolute filth on your skin latching onto him. "Is that your ploy, witch?" Seonghwa's eyes narrowed as he glared at you with seething hatred, the pure anger that his eyes conveyed was enough to have your stomach sink in fear. "You come here, you pretend to be this nice little witch when the truth is you were just waiting for the opportunity to erase our entire existence, right? And this is how you start? From our precious hatchlings?" smoke started coming out of Seonghwa's mouth and fear struck you deeply. You were confused because you were playing with a hatchling, helping Mingi with his duties one second, and the next thing you know, you were about to die in the hands of a high-ranking dragon for being playful. You tried to claw his arm off of you, desperately trying to get oxygen back into your lungs, but it was apparent from his grip that Seonghwa's aim was to kill as he was seconds away from murdering you.

Had it not been for Sunyeol's cries, asking Seonghwa not to hurt you, you would have surely lost your life that moment. Even when the boy was brazenly tugging on Seonghwa's shirt harshly, screaming at the top of his lungs to let you go as tears streamed down his chubby cheeks, Seonghwa still hesitated to let you go. In his head, he was only thinking of the fact that he might not get a chance like this anymore, to get you in such a vulnerable place that he could just take your life so easily. But the sound of the boy's cries seemed to remind him that he couldn't just make a decision about not only his but his other mates' mate single-handedly. Surely the council will disapprove and his mates (the ones that like you at least no matter the small number), will have his head on a stick.

With resolve wavering (as much as he hated to admit it), Seonghwa let you go, pushing you off to the floor where you croak, struggling to breathe despite being able to feel the oxygen fill your lungs again. With a last glare sent your way, Seonghwa turned on his heels to leave but not before reassuringly patting Sunyeol on his head.

Truly, Seonghwa had no idea as to how and why would his kind be so accepting and understanding of your kind. Since they were merely hatchlings, they were already warned about what witches do, what they were capable of. Cautionary tales of how witches put enchantments on dragon folks lure them to their dwellings and make them turn into their dragon form before killing them. Their scales were sold as armour to dragon hunters, their teeth turned into necklaces that serves as wards with runes on them or ornaments like trophies in their homes, their blood drained to be used as an elixir or potion, and the rest of them were either put on display as a reminder of what they managed to kill, unable to get eternal rest or let just thrown away carelessly as if they were nothing. Those who were killed like that died a gruesome death with the lucky ones got to die in their human form. Seonghwa could never forget the time Hongjoong burned down an entire village filled with dragon hunters when he saw his father's dragon bones propped in the square as if he was nothing more than a statue while his mother and brother were killed in front of it. How he took his family who were already gone, into his strong talons and stayed there as everything burned around him. That day Hongjoong unwillingly became the clan's leader, shouldering the burden and the pain that he was yet to be ready for.

You can ask anyone and they'd say that Park Seonghwa is benevolent, he is kind and understanding, and he is compassionate. But he truly drew the line at you and your kind. He would never forgive you for just entering their lives and messing things up. Things might seem okay and good now, but he knew that the likes of you would only bring pain and misery to their lives, he knew it. It's hard being someone who can see things clearly but not wanting to mess things up as too much was on the line.

For now, all he could do was keep an eye on you and prepare for when he needed to defend himself and his mates, his clan. He'd give his life for them but moreover, he'd take your life to salvage them.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Thankfully for Seonghwa, you spent the next several days cowering in the shadows. He walked around in pride whenever he saw you clutching your chest when you saw him before turning around on your heels and running away. Usually, you'd be walking around with Wooyoung or Yeosang, Mingi would only be around you when you were working with him and he convinced himself that it was simply because he saw you as nothing more than a coworker, nothing romantic. But the three seemed to know nothing which means you hadn't told them that Seonghwa almost killed you. To that, Seonghwa gave you trust points for not being a tattle tale.

It felt refreshing not seeing your face so often as before. One might even able to see the little spring in Seonghwa's steps and the slight smile that was returning after months of not seeing it.

But of course, all good things must come to an end.

One fateful day, after the sun has long set and the halls of the castle was illuminated by candle lights, Seonghwa walked out of the library to be met with the sound of hurried steps.

"Hyung, they came! They fucking came!" San cried out, panting when he reached Seonghwa with Yunho next to him, looking equally distraught. Confused, Seonghwa looked at San and Yunho with clear confusion in his face, "Whoah, whoah, whoah, calm down there," despite his calmer tone, Seonghwa felt uneasy from how his two mates were acting. "Dragon hunters attacked the border residence, we have casualties," the words that left Yunho's mouth froze Seonghwa's body.

He didn't remember what he said, he didn't even remember moving because when he came to, he was at the place where the hunters attacked. A good dozen were being treated for trap wounds, cuts and bruises, and not far from where they were, five bodies covered in white cloth laid still. People were crying over their burnt houses and while there were only two burning houses, it was two to many.

"Where are they?" Seonghwa's voice was eerily calm and stern, an absolute darkness filled his aura and both San and Yunho could feel it. "They ran off to the woods, we have three patrols chasing after them," that was all Seonghwa needed from San for him to transform and chase after the hunters himself. It wasn't hard for him at all as his eyes managed to catch their thermal signature and they were mocking the dragons they killed, obnoxiously yelling how the tip was worth the gold they spent and it just angered Seonghwa even more.

Moments passed like a second and the next thing Seonghwa knew, he reemerged from the forest drenched in the blood of the hunters he just... exterminated. His eyes was golden and face hard, wildness and fury apparent and for a moment he seemed soulless, like a simple sentient being whose job was to kill and had no remorse nor any emotions whatsoever. Not even San nor Yunho dared to got close to him as they didn't know how Seonghwa might react. Heck, they didn't even know what was going on in Seonghwa's mind as he walked past them towards the castle. Neither of them would have guessed nor expected for Seonghwa to immediately target one person in particular.

You.

Dripping blood, he was making a trail everywhere but he didn't care. No, he couldn't care less about the mess he made. He was going to do what he should have done from the beginning. He should have protected his kind, he should have protected his mate, he should have made sure that you had no chance to hurt them even for a bit.

Luckily for him (but unluckily for you), he saw you walking from the path in the garden, seemingly coming out from the forrest it led to. And everything clicked in his head. You were the one who tipped the hunters in the first place. You were the cause of the despair that befell them. You were everything Seonghwa thought you were and more.

Just as you stepped back into the castle, Seonghwa ambushed you, pushing you off of the steps and out onto the grass. The impact didn't wound you but it surely knocked the breath out of your lungs, causing you to choke as you tried to retrieve the oxygen that was oh so harshly forced out of your body. "I should have killed you when I had the chance," Seonghwa's voice was cold as ice, void of any emotion and it frightened you. You began scrambling backwards only for Seonghwa to take steps closer to you and it was only when the moonlight hit him that you realized that he was drenched in blood. "How could you?" He caught up easily and grabbed you by the hair, pulling you up as you hiss in pain, "What could you have possibly benefitted from killing innocent people?" When you were at eye-level with him, you were able to take notice of the tears brimming in his eyes, some had dropped onto his cheek and mixed with the blood before pooling on his sharp chin. "We let you stay with us and this is the thanks we get? You tipping those hunters where we live and letting them attack us? Attack the people who are precious to us? The innocent people whom we swore to protect and you made us break our promise for what? What did they promise you?" At this point, the hand that gripped your hair had moved to the side of your head as his other hand gripped the other side with his thumbs on your cheeks, smearing blood that penetrated your nostril harshly but it wasn't as bad as the pressure Seonghwa was putting on your skull. "S-Seonghwa," you whimpered, your hands gripping his in an attempt to pry him off of you. The tears in your eyes did nothing to stop Seonghwa from trying to crush your skull. He was in anguish, he was mourning, he was betrayed and he didn't even have his trust in you in the first place. So how could he have let this happen?

Your fingers had begun scratching his hand as you cried for him to let you go, begging to not kill you while proclaiming that you did nothing, that you didn't know what he was talking about. But he didn't care, he didn't want to care anymore because he was hurt, he was angry, he wanted to punish you for what you did because how dare you deny the truth when it was so glaring?

"P-please Seonghwa, don't k-kill me," you cried, managing to grab his thumb and still trying your best to remove his grip on you. "I didn't do anything." "I should have killed you the second you stepped into this place, I should have killed you like you deserved after exterminating us like vermin." Emotions were running too wildly in Seonghwa, every emotion that he never realized he had were running through his body like crazy, controlling his mind and action to the point that he didn't even realize that he was crying hard at that point. Though tears blurred his vision, he was still able to see the look of absolute fear on your face.

Your brain was swirling with ideas on how to escape the situation because the last thing you wanted was to die in the hands of your mate's mate. And then you got the idea, you found your escape.

"T-think about Y-yeosang a-and Wooyoung! Think of how much," you momentarily paused to adjust to the feeling of Seonghwa's fingers digging into your skull and you were sure that it was permanently dented. At the mention of his mates, Seonghwa seemed to come to momentarily. The grip loosened slightly but his hands were still caging your head so while it gave you a little bit of hope that you'd be able to keep your life. "Think o-of how much they'll resent you if you were the one to make me disappear," it was apparent that your tactic was working, Seonghwa's sharp nails slowly relaxed from your scalp, allowing you feel the sting from the breeze that brushed through your hair. "Let me make myself disappear, that way they'll hate me and not you and it'll be much easier for them to move on.

Your words struck Seonghwa rather deeply as he considered your words, thinking that you had a point and he'd get an easy out with his mates. As someone who was always level-headed, Seonghwa was rather surprised at himself for being taken over almost completely by his emotions and even more so that he was even considering listening to you. It was truly a cursed day and the quicker you were gone, the quicker he can move on and forget about how shitty it is.

When Seonghwa's hand let your head go, you finally realized how warm his touch was because as soon as he let go of you, the breeze blew rather harshly and goosebumps rose on your skin. Or maybe it was the realization of what just happened, you were going to have to leave your boys without saying goodbye. Technically speaking, it was just Yeosang and Wooyoung and probably Mingi, but you think it was better for your sanity to believe that the only reason Mingi would miss you was that now he didn't have anyone to help him with the hatchlings. And God, leaving the hatchlings that you had grown so close with. Just as a couple of them proclaimed their love for you because they thought you were so cool and kind and loving and they wanted to see more of your grimoire, Weiss. How were you going to move past this life? The life that you never expected but found to love despite the obstacles in every way. How were you going to survive waking up all alone when you've been so accustomed to waking up with Wooyoung and/or Yeosang in bed with you. Their dragon warmth that could not be replicated no matter how much you asked Weiss (because he didn't want you to accidentally burn him) helped you through rainy days and anxiety-filled nights. It was one of your favourite things about them and they'd be more than happy to provide it to you. But over anything else, you can't believe you were leaving them just because your life was on the line.

Just as you were about to say your goodbyes to Seonghwa (not that he was going to care, but it was just polite that way), when he suddenly grabbed you by the neckline of your top, pulling you close to his face so he could speak lowly with his teeth bared and body vibrating. "I'm letting you off for now but make sure I can't find you, you hear me? I'm letting you off because I don't want Yeosang and Wooyoung to hate me for killing you no matter how fun it would be. Because believe me when I say that I have made a list of how to kill you in an excruciatingly painful and slow way that you would actually much rather kill yourself than have me spend my precious time and energy on you," each word was like a stab to your gut but the pain it inflicted was nothing compared to the fact that you actually believed him. Genuinely, you know for sure that he wouldn't hesitate if you gave him the chance.

Seonghwa then pushed you by your chest, not so hard that you fell but just enough to send you reeling slightly, stumbling before running off into the darkness in the woods. The last thing you remembered was Seonghwa's golden eyes turning back to their normal dark brown colour shining in the darkness as he returned to the castle. It was all you could think of as you travelled through the safety of the shadows that the trees cast, thinking that even if Seonghwa were to send his dragon guards at you, you'd still be able to feel the safety of the idea of being hidden so organically.

You must've run beyond your strength because the next thing you know, you stumbled down a hill and you fell rolling down. The impact all over your body seemed to bring your realization back a little because when you finally landed limply on the clearing of the meadow at the bottom of the hill, everything came crashing down to you. How you were so close to losing your life in the hands of your mate's mate, how you were accused of doing something you didn't even understand or know and weren't given a chance to defend yourself or even to provide your point of view, how you selfishly traded your love for your own life like a coward, and how you might not be able to see your mates again anymore. It was only then and there that you cried, your throat turned raw when you screamed out of agony. The pain of falling down and your ankle twisting was nothing compared to the pain of being separated from your mates and you couldn't even imagine what Yeosang and Wooyoung would wake up to, how they would react. For now, you for sure know that they'd have nothing but hatred towards you and you were willing to burden it all if it meant that they would be kept safe. Maybe Seonghwa was right, maybe whatever happened was your fault somehow, maybe you brought them bad luck or maybe there was a reason that you couldn't even think of at that moment. But you stood firm on your resolve that you were doing this for your boys, for them all.

As painful as it was for you, you wiped the tears off your cheeks and stood up straight, letting the pain all over your body drive you by reminding you of what was important. You could still see the castle where you had resided for more or less three months, the towers were slightly covered by trees but you could never mistake it, and you could never forget what it look like. But you couldn't focus on reminiscing now, not when you can't shake Seonghwa's accusation that you were the cause of their despair. So with a shaky breath, you cleared your mind and summoned Weiss who opened itself up for you with no question as your hands raised.

"Let's get to work."

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The past three weeks had been hell for everyone in the castle, especially for the residence. It was nothing like Seonghwa expected whatsoever. He had thought that by eliminating you, their lives would be much different and for the best. Never could he have imagined that the situation was much more complicated and dire.

"How is he?" Hongjoong asked, looking tired and stressed.

The head healer sighed and shook her head much to his and Seonghwa's disappointment. "Well, what do you know?" Although Hongjoong tried to sound confident, it was obvious that he was beyond worried, there was a slight quiver that indicated fear and while other people couldn't have noticed it, Seonghwa knew Hongjoong well enough that he was truly fearing for their newest addition. "Well... He's... Mourning, sir, the simplest explanation is that he was separated from his mate for too long that his mental state just... Broke," she explained timidly in a slightly bowed stance as to avoid Hongjoong and Seonghwa's gaze. At the mention of Wooyoung's mate, Seonghwa's body froze slightly, it was as if his body was involuntarily reacting to the trigger word or words in this case, immediately reminded of the scene where he drove you away by threatening to kill you. As far as Seonghwa knows, nobody else knew about that incident, no one knew he had almost destroyed you that night and that he didn't even see where you had gone to. He was just glad that you were gone. This, however, the news that Wooyoung suffered a mental break and Yeosang became so weak that he injured himself in a patrol was something Seonghwa didn't expect. In all honesty, he felt bad, he felt as if he was responsible, but he didn't want to believe that it was his fault so he put those thoughts on the back burner, trying to focus on how to better the situation instead.

The explanation didn't make Hongjoong feel better though as he couldn't really comprehend what is it that made Wooyoung experience such a devastating break. He tried looking at the two assistant healers but they too were avoiding his gaze as best as they could. "That's stupid," Hongjoong groaned in frustration, hands rubbing at his face harshly, "The oracle said he's our mate and if you haven't figured it out yet he's with his mates right now so you must be wrong!" he growled, terrifying the healers but didn't let them respond as he turned and walked away, yelling to them one last time, "You better come up with a better explanation and treatment plan for him!"

With a last glance spared to Wooyoung's bedroom as the healers reentered, letting the sound of Wooyoung moaning and crying in pain escape, Seonghwa followed behind Hongjoong. Maybe it was best for him to tell Hongjoong what he did, what he had done to Wooyoung's... mate. No matter how much they denied that a dragon could mate with a witch, they have to consider that fact now, especially with Yeosang's incessant and teary attempt of convincing them. The mood in the castle had gone down considerably and at a pretty drastic speed. One could argue that it was the stress of handling the dragon hunter issue and rebuilding the ruined houses and also calming the people down, ensuring their safety with double the patrols which obviously took time to assemble and set their working schedule. It was a miracle that all of them were still functional even though barely. Though, Hongjoong's dedication of time and effort to accommodate the situation was proven fruitful as they have yet to see nor sense another attack from dragon hunters. The patrolmen hadn't even sensed witches or their runes or potions around, meaning that it was more likely than not safe for them. Hongjoong and the others took this as a win as one issue is at least resolved. For now.

Other than Wooyoung and Yeosang, Mingi seemed to receive the third biggest hit. It had been a while since Seonghwa saw him practice his sword skills, abusing the life out of the dummy they usually use for practice and even managing to break three with a wooden sword for practice. As a carer of the hatchlings, Mingi was never expected to be the best in fighting as his main priority was protection over the little ones. While basic fighting skills were needed in order to protect the hatchlings if needed, none of them had ever seen Mingi letting out so much frustration and emotion which made him look terrifying. Thankfully, the children would provide him with some comfort, allowing him to still feel some semblance of warmth as he took care of them but once his duty ended, he would... clam up and go back to his sword practice. Yunho, San, and Jongho on the other hand looked detached even during their duties. While their quality of work wasn't affected, their mood does and it made them even more unapproachable, especially with the glare that Jongho and San would give to the other patrolmen. Yunho would more often than not venture off by himself, excusing it as him wanting to check something out by himself before involving the others.

"I went to the Oracle again," Hongjoong sighed as he and Seonghwa reached a secluded part of the castle, "I... Asked them about this whole thing," with his back against the cold stone wall, Hongjoong was able to lean his head back and just closed his eyes. Seonghwa sidled close next to him, his hand circled and rested on Hongjoong's hips to pull him close, the sudden act made Hongjoong open his eyes to look at his mate before accepting and just letting him get as close as he want. "What whole thing?" Seonghwa asked, his thumb began rubbing on Hongjoong's hips gently in an attempt to comfort the man. "Apparently... It was true," Hongjoong's head dropped to rest on Seonghwa's shoulder, feeling the absolute weight of responsibility burdening him so heavily that it was as if he could crumble then and there, "(y/n)... She's our last mate," an incredulous scoff escaped Hongjoong's mouth as if the words left a bitter taste in his mouth. Almost immediately, Seonghwa's body tensed up and froze, not believing his ears. "Yeah, I was surprised too," Hongjoong nuzzled his head deeper into the crook of Seonghwa's neck with his eyes closing once again, "What are we supposed to do? That little witch ran away and now once again we're left with cleaning her mess. How are we supposed to make sure that Yeosang and Wooyoung will be okay? They have truly mated with her so they're suffering greatly," Seonghwa felt Hongjoong lifting his head up slightly and when he looked down, he saw his strong leader's eyes brimming with tears, a rare occurrence that truly broke his heart, "How are we going to help them, Seonghwa? Why can I protect everyone else but them?" Seonghwa was quick to envelop the man in a tight hug despite he himself slowly becoming affected by his mate's words, he knew he had to be strong so Hongjoong could momentarily falter.

"Don't you even worry," Seonghwa said firmly, unknowingly using his own words to convince himself as well, "We're gonna get through this. We're going to be okay."

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to anyone else, Yunho had taken it upon himself to venture off again. He had been feeling something... odd in certain areas, as if something was calling for him, wanting to be found and rescued by him.

It was odd.

Every day, Yunho woke up to the feeling of wanting to venture a little bit further out than his usual patrol would take. There was something about the hills that called to him but every single time he got closer, he found himself walking back to the clan. And each time he returned to his people, there was a sense of longing and sorrow. Today, however, he woke up and sense that he felt different than the previous days. He couldn't quite explain it, but he sensed that whoever or whatever it was that was calling him is reachable now. So he rushed to the path that called onto him, fully hoping to see something new, some kind of explanation.

What Yunho didn't expect, however, was the sound of a mountain troll roaring followed by the sound of branches crunching but louder. Immediately, Yunho got into his battle stance, thinking that the troll sensed his presence and wanted him gone from the area. His ear and thermal sensors were able to pick up where the beast was coming from and where it was headed easily. However, what intrigued him was another signature that was much smaller and seemed familiar. It was only when he saw you being thrown to the ground by the mountain troll as if you were nothing but a book.

"Fuck," You groaned, trying to get up and running away but the monster grabbed you by the leg and dragged you closer to it. You were already so weak from trying to run away from the brute, and it was getting so frustrating and hopeless as you were a lot smaller and weaker than the thing. To be frank, you could've taken Weiss out and performed magic to daze the monster so you could make your escape but that would be counterproductive as it would leave a signature and you were trying to not get caught or found by anyone. So equipped with only your with and your desperation to survive, you tried your best to pry the hand of the monster off of you by throwing whatever your hands could grab from the ground at it. But it was no use, it had no effect whatsoever and it even looked unbothered. A loud cry was ripped out of your throat when you felt its claws sink into your skin, to ensure that you wouldn't go anywhere and it was then that you realized that you were facing the last moments of your life without having your task completed.

Thankfully, Yunho stepped in just as the troll was about to drag you by your injured leg to its dwelling, possibly to be torn apart and eaten by its group. With unmatched strength and clean movements, Yunho easily sliced the monster's arm off of you and sent it running to the other side, growling, howling, and injured. Yunho could've run after it to finish the job like how he was trained to do, but he was more worried about you. When he turned his back to offer you some help, you weren't where you initially were and it made Yunho panic slightly as he hadn't even gotten the chance to talk to you. His eyes darted around to see you limping away in the direction from which you were running away from. "Hey!" Yunho called out, jogging to catch up with you easily as you were injured and he was not human.

To be quite honest, Yunho actually felt glad that he saw you again after a long while. There was a sense of relief that came with seeing and confirming that it was indeed you; his chest felt lighter as if a weight has been lifted off and he actually felt... happy. Said happiness was ripped away from him however when he first noticed that you weren't where you were on the ground. "What are you doing?" his hands shot out as you stumbled slightly, situating them near your body so if you were to fall, he could catch you, "We should be getting you back to the castle! You're injured!" he exclaimed, cringing when he saw your bloodied leg that you still forcibly use to stand. It felt odd for him to be so nice to you especially since your nice gestures had been reciprocated with nothing but disdain and rejection from him for months.

Much to his surprise, you barely spared him a glance as you shook your head whilst simultaneously producing Weiss into the open air. Oh, how the tables have turned. "Go away, Yunho, I have important work to do," ouch. "Like hell you do, you need to be taken care of right now," your stubbornness was almost endearing to Yunho at that moment as it reminded him of his mates, specifically Hongjoong. It was no secret that the leader has his priorities set on his pride and his pride only so more often than not, they were forced to use force on their leader to make sure that he gets his rest. So out of instinct, Yunho held your elbows so he could usher you to the castle to get some help and hopefully some answers. But his heart stopped in his chest when he felt you slap his hands away as you turned to look at him. Yunho's eyes widened at the impact, completely stunned and surprised. You were glaring at him but he could see that it wasn't hatred, not from how your bottom lip was trembling and tears were brimming in your eyes. "Don't make this harder than it has to Yunho, go away," you said before turning around and going back to "work" just a little bit further away from Yunho.

Yunho followed suit and he was about to scold you for not wanting his help when he watched what you were doing. Your hands moved in almost a graceful manner, going into your pocket and producing a white powder to spread on the grassy ground as you recite a spell. Slowly, a translucent film-like barrier appeared from the place where the powder was spread and up to the sky. He didn't know how tall it was, but he had a good idea of what it exactly was. "You put up a barrier to keep us inside," Yunho muttered as his eyes slowly trailed from the barrier down to you who had moved further away to continue the process. "Were you trying to imprison us?" the question had no malice in them but the way he immediately thought the worse of you made you flinch slightly, "Of course not, if I wanted to do that, Wooyoung wouldn't have been able to visit my cottage," you sighed before continuing your work. Immediately, Yunho's eyes widened at your revelation, "How did you know that? Have you been spying on us?" again, he didn't mean any harm, it was just that he was in such a state of shock that it caused him to have a poor choice of language. Still, you didn't know that and it still hurt. "No, I was never spying on you all. I was making sure that you all were safe from hunters," you planned on concluding your explanation there, clapping your hands to get the remnants of powder off before limping away.

Of course, your exit was not made easy. Yunho grabbed your arm and turned you to him, this time looking at you with genuine worry in his eyes. "(y/n) please, come back with me to the castle, you need help from the healers!"

You had been hoping for months that one of them other than Wooyoung, Yeosang, and Mingi would reach out to you and asked you to stay just as Yunho was doing. But you couldn't shake off the fear Seonghwa had struck you. You couldn't even go back to living in your cottage as you were afraid that he might find you just to make sure that you were really gone or that Wooyoung or Yeosang might find you and brought you back or even just told him that they saw you back in your cottage. You couldn't risk it and you couldn't risk going to your mother's place as they could sense the dragon off of you and they might enchant you to tell them where they were. So you hid in plain sight, you set up camp in the meadows, right where you fell off after your encounter with Seonghwa and stayed there even after your barrier was set up and it was a good thing that you did because, during the past three weeks, several hunters got close to the area and you had to drive them away with enchantments and monsters ran rampage that almost broke the ward in the barrier. You had pride in your work, everyone inside was not able to look past it and those outside can't peek in except for you. If they even thought of venturing past, the barrier would incept their minds and lead them to go back to the clan instead. Of course, they were able to go out past the barrier, but not from the front entrance that you set which was the area of your camp, they were very much welcome to use the path past the river. You mostly patrol the front entrance and every once in a while, you were able to see some of them with other patrolmen. Mostly Yunho and Jongho, but you remembered seeing Yeosang and how weak he looked just three days after you left. You really wanted to hold him, hug him, tell him that you were sorry for leaving without saying anything but it was for his own good. And then you saw Wooyoung in your cottage. You didn't mean to follow him per se, you were just making sure that in his frantic state, the hunters wouldn't find him or he wouldn't do anything stupid. You even had to enchant him to go back and that was the last time you saw him.

It took everything in you to not give up and tell Yunho everything; what had happened and most importantly, how much you wanted to go back home to them, be with them. But you couldn't. You don't belong there with them.

"I'm sorry Yunho," you whispered. Before he could ask what you meant, you had placed your fingers on his temple, the touch allowed your powers to permeate Yunho's mind and sent him into a frozen state. You could feel his consciousness lowering ever so slightly as you recite the spell that would make him think that this was a dream and send him home. Yunho could feel it, your magic coursing through him and it felt warm, it felt nothing like what his elders told him a witch's magic was like. As you and him connected on that deep of a level, unbeknownst to you, Yunho was able to feel your pain, fear, longing, and love that wasn't just for Wooyoung and Yeosang, but for every single one of them including his clan. It was his first taste of pure and genuine love and devotion and he felt safe in it. Just before Yunho lost consciousness completely, he said something that surprised you as it was the first time someone had managed to peek out from your mind spell. "W-What about Yeosang? What about Wooyoung? They- we, we need you." A soft, sad smile appeared on your face and you shook your head at him, deciding to say something that you had no idea he would take to heart completely.

"He'll be fine. They both will, take care of them for me please."

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The guilt was eating Seonghwa inside and out.

It had been a week since Hongjoong's revelation that you were supposedly their mate too and he felt like he was going insane. Days spent putting out one fire after the other with Hongjoong but thankfully it wasn't literal fire like the ones before. The things he had to handle were mostly over his mates being so unfocused they made mistakes in their jobs. San accidentally hurt himself during patrol, gashing his own leg by mistake when he tripped and fell down the stairs so harsh he had to be put to rest for two days. Jongho looked so worn out that he actually broke down crying one night to Seonghwa, saying that he didn't feel quite right and it was exhausting knowing something's wrong but not knowing where to start fixing it. Yeosang and Wooyoung were still in the same state; Yeosang's weak with cheeks hollowed, lifeless as he remained catatonic in his bed while Wooyoung reached a new level of despair; only saying "(y/n) please come back, i need you," as he made numerous attempts to travel out of the castle to find you only to pass out not even three steps from the garden. Frankly the only functional ones were Mingi and Yunho, keeping up with their duties while filling in wherever they were needed. Yunho was especially surprising because he suddenly spend his nights in Wooyoung's room, accompanying and making sure that he was okay before leaving to rest himself.

But everyone had their limits and this was it for Seonghwa.

He couldn't admit this before but he felt that his chest was hollow, his heart beating without his heart being there and his passion diminishing. Even Hongjoong took notice of this when he noticed Seonghwa slowly skipping his meals and remained to himself for the majority of the time, not saying anything when it wasn't truly dire. This, of course, led to fights between the two eldest as Hongjoong was afraid that he would be the last one standing, holding onto every last bit of remaining sanity in the group desperately while his partner was reduced to something similar to Yeosang. Seonghwa kept trying to convince Hongjoong (and himself) by repeating over and over again that he wouldn't, that he had a better grip on his sanity and control over his urges than Yeosang because he had never done the mating ritual with you. But of course, what he neglected to tell Hongjoong was the fact that he was so guilt-ridden that he has been functioning on anxiety for a couple of days and he had been travelling outside for a bit every day in hopes to see you. For the first time ever, Seonghwa was actually disappointed that he didn't see you anywhere near the castle and not even your cottage every time he checked there.

You truly did believe that he would end you and somehow he disliked that. The idea sent a bitter taste to his mouth like poison or rancid meat.

Now, however, he had to put his feelings and stress aside because he had to deal with Wooyoung who had once again left his bedroom without anyone noticing to venture out of the castle in search of you. With frantic steps, Seonghwa looked for Wooyoung, hoping that he'd be in the garden where you and he once spent hours cultivating and replanting herbs to be used or studied, or in the library where you spent the whole night reading dragon folklore to Wooyoung while stroking his hair, or even in the kitchen where you two stole cookies in broad daylight as a challenge to see if either of you were as subtle as you claimed. It surprised Seonghwa how he know so much about your behaviour yet claimed that he had no care for you whatsoever. Maybe he had been too stubborn to admit the fact that despite your identity, the connection was truly there and it was strong. His stubbornness also exists within the actions that he made namely not telling anyone else that Wooyoung had once again made a crazy escape in a very unwell state because he thought that as the oldest and the second in command, the last thing he needed to do was to involve people who were resting and made it seem like he couldn't handle certain issues by himself. God forbid that.

Suddenly Seonghwa remembered where you would sometimes take Wooyoung when you couldn't find the herbs you needed to make your (demonic mind control) potion. "Shit, he better not be there," despite his complaining, Seonghwa transformed as he jumped up to fly to where he thought Wooyoung might be. It was at the bottom of the hill where there were tons of stumps where mushrooms could grow freely and due to the type of wood growing in the area, there was one type of mushroom, a special and rare one, that could either heal someone's ailments and clean the body or kill them when consumed incorrectly. He remembered you talking about that because you had once prepared the drink for Seonghwa after he spent two weeks dealing with an issue with the neighbouring clan and was so close to passing out. Of course, back then he accused you of trying to murder him and slapped the glass off your hands harshly so that there was a large red mark on your skin for the next couple of days. Ironically, when he did pass out, he was brought back to good health by your mushroom incense which made him throw up all the toxins and fatigue that accumulated in his body from his neglecting it so bad which to stay true to his hatred towards you, he claimed that his body was rejecting whatever it was you used to incapacitate him and decided to just be better so he could fight you off.

From the sky, Seonghwa could barely see anything through the thick trees but he tried his best to sense Wooyoung. After all, he was weak and slow, it shouldn't be too hard to locate him. It wasn't until he heard sobs and a voice calling out for your name so brokenheartedly that Seonghwa dove down and transformed as he reached to ground to see Wooyoung lying on the dirty ground limply as his hands tried to pull the grass so he could crawl to his destination. Seeing him like this made Seonghwa's eyes water and his heart clench so painfully harshly that he thought it might stop beating. This was all his doing, it was all his fault for making a single-handed decision out of his sheer stubbornness and trauma, incapable of considering the fact that his mates might have been right about you because he thought he knew best.

"Wooyoung," he called out, wiping the tears that were cascading down his cheeks as he crouched down near the man who looked so broken and lost and abandoned. Wooyoung didn't even acknowledge Seonghwa's presence, he kept trying his best to pull himself forward more but the lack of strength in his body did nothing but gave him frustration. "Wooyoung," Seonghwa tried calling him again, his voice cracking slightly as he grabbed the younger dragon by the shoulders to stop him from moving more and potentially hurting him. The sight of his dirty, tattered shirt was something Seonghwa didn't look forward to finding out. To his surprise, Wooyoung was able to shrug his grasp off of him, making his escape by using whatever was left in him to stand up. "I need to see (y/n)," he croaked, lifeless eyes staring forward at seemingly nothing, "She needs me, she's calling for me," though he said with little to no facial muscle movement, the tears that sprung from his eyes indicated just how desperate he was.

The thought of scooping Wooyoung and simply taking him away flashed in Seonghwa's head. It would be so easy to just grab him and take him away, God knows it would be best for the both of them. But Seonghwa felt in his gut that he wouldn't be able to cope with the knowledge that he has once again done something that was against what his mate wanted. Another thought flashed in Seonghwa's head, was he about to let his mate do something that could potentially end his life? Not on his watch. So how was he going to convince Wooyoung to return home?

Seonghwa's deep thoughts were cut short when he heard rustles coming from the darkness in front of them and soon cloaked figures emerged from the shadows. The second they stepped close enough, Seonghwa could smell the stench on them, the stench of dead dragons. "Dragon hunters," he muttered to himself, highly alert and swiftly pulling Wooyoung back against him. It didn't even matter to him that Wooyoung was thrashing like crazy, sounds and words from Wooyoung's mouth muddled together, making him incoherent. While this just made Seonghwa panic more, as his brain immediately thought of ways how he could get both himself and the inconsolable younger dragon out of there safely, the hunters seemed to find Seonghwa's state of panic highly amusing.

One of the hunters took his hood down to reveal his face which was half hidden by a headpiece made from intricately placed dragon scales with sections that go down his jaw to his chin decorated with dragon teeth. It was highly disrespectful to wear the carcass of such majestic creatures like that but of course, those hunters don't care, the more ridiculous they looked the higher regard they got from their fellow hunters.

"Looks like we have our work half done for us, boys. We can get the crazy one to the Head of the Coven and have her turn him into a puppet for children's show or for the circus," he laughed with boisterous laughter following after him. "The taller one we can use for accessories. Did you see the colour of his scales? We'll make bank with a lot left for ourselves," the hunter's eyes zeroed in on Seonghwa as if Seonghwa was a treasure that he had been looking for.

Horror struck Seonghwa and dread washes over his body at the mention of his dragon form. It was his fault that the hunters found them, he led them here because he couldn't be bothered to take the hard way and be discreet as he looked for Wooyoung. Not to mention his stubbornness and need to prove himself that led to him not alerting the others that Wooyoung was gone and that he needed help was going to be the reason his other mates will blame themselves if anything were to happen to them both.

"Get them, but make sure you don't nick their skins, I want to make sure we can get the best price," the same man said simply, cockily looking down at Seonghwa and Wooyoung as if he was sure that he was going to get the both of them. His confidence effectively struck his companions positively as they soon took menacing steps forward, seemingly to corner Seonghwa. Between making sure he had a secure grip on Wooyoung and trying to find a way to escape, Seonghwa couldn't even estimate the number of hunters around them. Were there more? Are they surrounded? What weapons do they have? Which clan did they come from? What do they want? There were thousands of questions running through Seonghwa's head which didn't help with him concocting a way to escape.

For some reason, Seonghwa was calling to you in his head. It was odd, he didn't know what it was exactly that you could've done and to be quite frank, he had always mocked you for it, calling you useless and unnecessary because he couldn't be bothered to learn about your power. Despite that, he was calling for you in his head because he had a feeling that you would know what to do to deal with the hunters and even how to deal with Wooyoung and perhaps even calm him down a little. The grip Seonghwa had on Wooyoung was trembling slightly, he was slowly consumed with uncertainty and anxiety and he feared that the hunters must have had something on them that made Seonghwa feel like so. According to their words, they must have had witches living among them and they have been helping these hunters capture dragons. He could only assume that those witches are powerful too because Seonghwa felt his legs trembling and his chest tightening, he was slowly being overcome with anxiety and while he was still able to function, Wooyoung was wailing. With each step the hunters took closer to them, the more sure Seonghwa was that it would be the end of him and Wooyoung. His grip slipped ever so slowly but he still tried to hold on to the younger dragon, he wanted to hold on. Because however, the situation will end, he wanted to be selfless and be there for the mate that needed him.

When a sound popped out from the left side of the hunters, Seonghwa was damn near using the last of his sanity to turn into his dragon form and breathed fire at whoever made that sound. But it was a good thing he didn't because he immediately recognized you standing there, looking seemingly harmless but he noticed the determination in your eyes and it was enchanting.

"And what the fuck are you supposed to be?" One of the hunters scoffed at you, thinking that you must be a joke.

With a raised eyebrow, you whipped Weiss out and shoved both hands into your skirt pockets. "The last thing you'll ever see, unfortunately," in a split second, your gaze shifted to Seonghwa and though you spoke in a low, almost whisper-like tone that seemed to sound louder than it actually is and echoed in his ears, "Duck"

As soon as Seonghwa's front side made contact with the ground with Wooyoung in his death grip, he heard something sizzling that was followed by the smell of something burning and men screaming around him. Seonghwa couldn't look around as the sound of men screaming into the night was deafening and it caused his body to freeze in utter shock. The only thing he could see was you standing a little far away from him and Wooyoung, face emotionless with hands covered in a thin layer of white powder and your chest slightly heaving. Seonghwa didn't know what was happening and frankly, he was rather hesitant to find out because whatever it was you did wasn't good.

Your eyes met Seonghwa soon and his stomach dropped, he had never seen you like that before and he suddenly felt the urge to say a lot of things to you. He wasn't sure what those things were, but he knew there was too much to say. He was about to get up and run to you when you lifted a hand to him and shook your head, "Run," you said simply, taking small steps to inconspicuously return to the safety of the shadows. Though he wouldn't admit it out loud, Seonghwa felt his heart clench when you told him to run, to go AWAY from you instead of TO you. He could only assume that you would be happy that he finally wanted to be close to you but instead you were acting so cold and dismissive towards him. The screams of men in pain snapped Seonghwa back to reality, however, realizing that all of the hunters were in fact distracted enough that they wouldn't even attempt to follow him if he were to safely return home. You had provided him with an escape.

So Seonghwa did what he thought he should do despite the aching feeling of uncertainty about whether or not he or any one of his mates would see you again, he had to prioritize and at that moment, Wooyoung seemed more important than anything else. He grabbed Wooyoung and moved to pull him up despite him wailing for you, calling out your name and trying to claw his way out of Seonghwa's grip. "Wooyoung, snap out of it!" without hesitance, Seonghwa slapped Wooyoung across his face which seemed to stun him enough to focus on Seonghwa, "We need to get out of here! We don't have time to spare or chances left!" Desperation palpable in his voice and the eyes that conveyed a thousand emotions finally penetrated into Wooyoung's mind and for the first time in weeks, he was able to give a sound response. Slowly, Wooyoung nodded and stood up, wincing as he realized just how sore and weak his body was while Seonghwa followed suit. Hastily, Seonghwa pulled Wooyoung further away from the group of wailing men, "You need to turn and fly away home, okay? Call for help, and I'll distract them as best as I could to make sure they don't follow you," Wooyoung opened his mouth to say something but Seonghwa raised his hand to stop him, "You are in no condition to argue with me, just trust me and do as I said."

Of course, even with Seonghwa's order, Wooyoung's heart still yearns for you, he wanted to be with you after being separated for so long. Hoping that he would be able to make eye contact with you, Wooyoung glanced to where you were standing only to be met with the sight of shadows casting through the woods. "Go!" Seonghwa growled, pushing Wooyoung slightly away when he only stood still. Reluctantly, Wooyoung shifted and flew back as quickly as he could to the castle, roaring in the air in hopes that someone from the clan heard him.

Seonghwa was too preoccupied with making sure that Wooyoung was okay that he neglected to see the leader of the hunter group coming at him with an obsidian blade. He only realized what was happening when he caught his shadow moving from the corner of his eyes and even then, Seonghwa knew that it was too late for him, he was going to be stabbed with a poisonous blade and he could potentially die. Things started to move in slow motion and his eyes closed, defeated, as he waited for the pain to strike him whilst he continuously reassured himself that even though he was going to die, he managed to get Wooyoung to safety first.

The sound of the blade taking flesh in between flesh was gut-wrenching to Seonghwa and he could only imagine how the stone would interact with his dragon blood, turning everything toxic and rotting his flesh from the inside out.

He waited and waited, but the pain never came. When his eyes finally opened, he was beyond shocked to see you in front of him, the blade nesting in your right shoulder as you stared up at the hunter dead in the face. There were a lot of things that Seonghwa didn't expect from you and on the very top of that list were you jumping in front of danger for him, putting your life at risk for him. He expected you to do that for the others, even Hongjoong (since he's the clan leader), but not him. Never him.

"Wrong move," you spat and before either he or Seonghwa could react, you pressed your powder-covered hands to his face. Then Seonghwa saw it, he saw the man's face sizzling under your touch in the areas where his dragon scale helmet was and around its area. As if it wasn't enough, you mumbled spells that soon caused blood to leak from the man's eyes, his pupils constricting to the point that they were mere dots as his throat vibrated with the agonizing cry he let out.

Only when the man dropped to the ground at your feet that you let your arms fall to your sides. Slowly, you turned to Seonghwa and Seonghwa could see the more relaxed expression on your face. Then his gaze dropped to your body, specifically to your blood-drenched hands. He didn't know whether it was the hunter's blood or yours, everything was just too messy for him to see clearly and he didn't even know where to start looking. "(y/n)..." he called out reaching out to take your arm in his grip gently but you scurried away abruptly as if you were scared, you would've continued if it wasn't for the tree that you accidentally hit, making you wince from the pain of the blade. "Please don't kill me," you whimpered slightly, inching to the side of the tree in hopes that you could make a quick exit. The words somehow struck Seonghwa deeply, he was well aware that he was the one who threatened to kill you in the first place but he never realized that you would be so affected by it. The fear in your eyes when you looked at Seonghwa without the safety of hunters to excuse your presence somehow bothered him. Just a couple of weeks ago Seonghwa would've taken great pride in instilling such crippling fear into you, but now he just hated how you wanted to get away from them now. From him.

"You're hurt..." Though his voice was wavering slightly, Seonghwa tried his best to keep a strong front, wanting to show that he wasn't letting his emotions get the best of him. And it worked, you only took further steps away from him because you felt that he was being so stoic and perhaps he was giving you a false sense of security just to trap you and kill you. So you quickly shook your head at him, not wanting his words to influence your decision to go back into hiding and plan a better strategy to protect them.

With every faltering step back you took, Senoghwa seemed to want to follow and it scared you. He wasn't taking more steps than you but his strides were longer. Right then and there, you could feel a pull to him, a pull that you've experienced with Wooyoung and again with Yeosang when he finally opened his heart to accept you romantically. The feeling was warm and comforting, reassuring of your safety and life despite the poison that was entering your bloodstream. You had been so focused on Seonghwa that you didn't even notice the little trick the leader hunter pulled to ensure incapacity towards any of his enemies, dragons or not. The poison he used was deadly to dragons, capable of paralyzing them in 30 seconds and completely killing them in 20 minutes. While it wasn't as deadly to humans, you didn't have much time until you grow weak in your tent and die slowly for days whilst locked in your own body, able to feel everything but unable to do anything.

Thinking that the chicken dance you and Seonghwa were doing could last a while, you decided that you should just make your escape so you could treat your wound as soon as possible. With a smile thrown at Seonghwa, your feet took their position to run, "I'm glad you both are safe." Seonghwa's body went into an immediate state of panic as he heard you say that, alarm bells started going off in his brain knowing that that was your way of saying goodbye. He had been so determined to find you and bring you home, how could he just let you go? It wasn't like he was trying to force you to come with him or even kidnap you, but he wanted to bring you back home where you belong. The home that Seonghwa had so selfishly taken away from you and for what, pride? In the name of trauma? Nothing could excuse his behaviour and that was why he wanted to make sure that he could make up for it. And he couldn't do it when the person he wanted to make up to isn't there.

As you turned around to flee, you felt something shoot up your spine and your vision turned black. The pain made you want to scream and you could've sworn you were screaming in pain. But in reality, your face was lax and your body swayed to the side, gravity doing its job pulling you to the ground when all strength left your body. The last thing you hear was the sound of someone calling your name, then a couple more that was followed by flaps of wings and rushed steps. You must've imagined things. Out of all, however, Seonghwa's voice was more prominent and you could've sworn the palm that supported your head as you fell belonged to him. Well, you must've been beyond delusional which means the poison was doing such a marvellous job. This was maybe the sound that was sending you off to the afterlife and to be honest, you could be hearing worse.

Now all you had to do was welcome what comes next.

Whatever it was.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

"Hyung?"

Seonghwa's head snapped up to the door when he heard someone calling for him. The door to your room was shut with a heavy thud and Mingi came walking in with some things in his hands. "I thought you were told to rest," the younger sighed, displeased that his older mate was disregarding the words of healers who had instructed Seonghwa to take it easy on himself. Seonghwa shook his head as his gaze dropped back to the woman sleeping on the bed, looking like a corpse with how she was unmoving and unresponsive but still alive as indicated by the flush on her cheeks and lips. Since when do Seonghwa think of you like that?

Though Mingi was worried for him, Seonghwa only waved a hand dismissively at him, "No, I... I put her in this situation, I should take care of her."

When Seonghwa brought you back to the castle, not only were his mates up and about due to Wooyoung's warning (and being absolutely surprised that Wooyoung was functioning normally), but they were preparing to save you and Seonghwa. So when they saw Seonghwa in your arms, they thought that you had died. Chaos ensued when Seonghwa reassured everyone that you weren't dead but were definitely dying if you weren't treated immediately. Coming to his senses first, Yunho scooped you from Seonghwa's arms and carried you to the house of the head healer just outside the castle area followed by Yeosang who regained some strength at the mention of you and also Wooyoung. As soon as you were out of sight, Seonghwa dropped to his knees, legs lost all strength as tears poured out of his eyes, coating the skin of his cheeks in a glittery sheen. That was when he grabbed Hongjoong's hands and confessed to what he did, how he threatened to end you because he thought you helped orchestrated an attack. He confessed how he almost did kill you that night, how he single-handedly exiled you because he thought he was doing what was best for everyone. He confessed how it was his fault Yeosang and Wooyoung almost lost their minds and how the others were suffering, not realizing that it was because their mate was told to stay away from them.

That night Seonghwa received nothing but confused, cold glances from his mates even as he was being patched up. It wasn't that they hated him for what he did nor were they mad, it was just the fact that Seonghwa kept such a big secret from them. Moreover, after Wooyoung recounted how you had saved him and Seonghwa from out of nowhere which prompted them to ask Seonghwa how you got stabbed by an obsidian blade. Of course, Seonghwa told them everything, he told them about how you jumped in front of him with no hesitance which saved him completely from danger. Then there was a conversation of dragon's honour, how they should never bite the hand that fed them (literally or not). Mingi was the first to innocently bring up the fact that you had been but nice and generous to Seonghwa but he had only returned your kind gestures in utter disdain. Hongjoong defended Seonghwa by saying that despite his actions, he did not break a dragon's honour as you had never saved his life before. Then surprisingly, Jongho backed Mingi up by saying that the dragon's honour doesn't only apply to live-saving situations, it also applies to general, mundane situations which prompted Hongjoong to snap at the youngest, saying something along the lines of "If I remembered correctly, you wanted to stake and burn her to see if, and I quote, 'she smells like rotting eel like the rest of her coven' when she first came to us" which was not received well by Jongho.

Now, five days later, you were still not up but the tension amongst his mates had died down and things had started to turn for the better. The warriors were less antsy and got even more confident with the additional good news that Yeosang was finally cleared to come back on duty 3 days ago. Wooyoung was once again able to function normally, returning to his studies with the healers whilst sharing the recipes he learnt from you during the time you lived together. Hongjoong was finally able to calm the council and was able to address the questions regarding the citizen's safety with more assurance. Mingi brought the good news that you were back to the hatchlings and they were more than elated, immediately asking Mingi when they could see you again which made him so happy. And Seonghwa felt much more at ease with knowing that you were there with him, knowing that they were once again whole despite your comatose state. One thing for sure though, you were never left alone without anyone's watch. Wooyoung, Yeosang, and Mingi had taken it upon themselves to sleep in your room with you with Mingi dragging a (not so) begrudging Yunho with him. Jongho would only stand guard outside your door in the afternoons when everyone else was too busy with their own duties while San would stand guard inside your room but away from you, both were still feeling awkward because they had been so bad towards you and they didn't feel their fussing over you would be justified. Hongjoong would keep watch from afar and through his staff, asking questions directly to the healers or (not so) casually asking the members on watch about your condition during their supper. Seongwha remained a constant by your side though, adamant about being there when you woke up. He would do his duties from his seat and only leave when absolutely necessary and even then, he would rush and make sure someone was in the room with you.

Whilst keeping watch on you, Seonghwa made the realization that you were the difference that they needed. It could be because of the fact that you were destined to be mated with all eight of them, but it was also possible that it was because you were... you. Never had he experienced such a drastic difference that happened with a person's absence and presence. It was as if you forged their life force, your mere presence elevated their energy in more ways than one. He had been a fool to let his ego cloud his judgement.

Mingi walked towards you with a gentle smile on his face, his hand gently placing a flower crown on top of your head, "Hi there, I... made this when I took the hatchlings outside to learn about nature. They missed you so much," he wanted to say how he missed you too, but the presence of Seonghwa only made him swallow his own words. Mingi then turned to the older male, sighing when he saw his eyes busily darting through scrolls for different businesses that Seonghwa needed to tend. "I'm worried for you, hyung," Mingi confessed, eyebrows scrunched in slight frustration at the older's stubbornness. "I said I'm fine," Seonghwa sighed, putting his scrolls down on the desk next to him to look at Mingi with a small smile, "Don't worry about me, okay? I know my limits and I just want to make sure (y/n) comes out of this okay," he reassured him. It seemed like Mingi wanted to say something, but the stare Seonghwa gave him made him shut his mouth as if telling him it was pointless to argue with him, he wasn't going to budge. So Mingi simply nodded and left the room after giving your hand a gentle squeeze to return to his evening duties.

Once he was back alone with you, Seonghwa thought that it was best for him to focus back on completing his task, he was quite behind already and he didn't like leaving his duties like that. But as he was about to delve back into his scrolls, he couldn't help but look at your sleeping figure and his legs automatically took steps closer to you. Every time he looked at your face, he couldn't help but remember the frightened look on your face the day he almost killed you. While he used to find pride in it, now he couldn't help but be embarrassed of himself, embarrassed of how he threatened someone who bore no arms as it wasn't a noble thing of him to do no matter the person. Above that, he was embarrassed of himself for treating his mates' mate like that. The regret played over and over in his head as if to mock his lack of judgement and he knew he deserved it, he was willing to bear the shame brought by his own stupidity and more if it could bring you back. The healers kept reassuring him that you would be up but they couldn't really know when and that scared him, the uncertainty and vagueness only made him stress more.

With the gentlest of touch, he traced your hand that was resting on your stomach, flipping them over to graze over the burnt skin as he winced, imagining the pain you must've felt. Turns out, when you burnt that hunter's face with the powder you had, the direct contact made your own skin burn and while it will heal, the pain you must've endured was more than you should have felt. "I'm sorry..." tears built in Seonghwa's eyes as his eyebrows furrowed tightly, creating a crease in the space between, "When you get out of this, I'll make sure to pay you back a thousandfold, you hear me?"

The lack of answer made Seonghwa fall to his knees by your bed with your hands still in his grip. His face rested by your hip as he cried hard, body shaking and hands trembling with overwhelming emotions. Seonghwa didn't even know why he was crying, it wasn't like you were dead despite him seeing your unresponsive body. He was glad that you were back with him despite not knowing how you would react when you finally came to and realized that you were back in the dwelling of the person who claimed wanted you dead if you ever showed your face again. But he knew a lot of them wanted you there with them and he knew you knew that fact too whilst also knowing that before this, the majority of them disprove your existence amongst them and had even pulled petty pranks as hiding Weiss in the dungeons for three days which caused you to panic and even stated their disdain towards you and your kind right to your face. So really, what was Seonghwa crying about?

"I'm so sorry," Seonghwa's voice cracked from raw emotion like he never felt before, his cheeks wet with tears that dropped and pooled on your bed. He tried looking up at you again, but he couldn't bear the sight for long before he hunched over with his face on your stomach, crying even harder. His lips kept mumbling apologies like it was a prayer or a mantra, not knowing what else to say to you as he felt his transgressions towards you had really crossed all the lines that exist in the world. But even then, especially then, you showed him nothing but kindness and genuineness. Seonghwa gripped the blanket over your body and the shirt you were wearing tightly in his hands as if to anchor him to reality, whatever it was.

A sudden touch to his head stopped Seonghwa's cries almost immediately because he thought he was imagining things, maybe his mind was starting to play tricks on him. Seonghwa snapped his head to your face only to be greeted with the sight of you smiling gently at him, your eyes lively and smile like a fresh breath of spring that made his chest bloom. Then he felt your fingers carding through his hair slowly and gently as if the action was filled with nothing but affection.

"Purposeless tears can kill your fire, dragon. Why are you wasting them?" though your voice was cracked from the dryness of your throat, it still sounded melodious to Seonghwa.

For the first time ever since you knew all of them, Seonghwa cracked a smile, albeit a teary one. He gently took the hand that was on his head and pressed them to his lips before moving them to his cheek where he kept it to enjoy the warmth of your life with his thumb gently caressing the inside of your palm. The initial fear of you rejecting him died within seconds, now being proven that you only had love and care for him just by how you were gazing at him. Seonghwa didn't even care if it was his imagination or if it was the delusional side of his brain trying to compensate for his guilt because he was seeing actual proof in front of him. Proof that you woke up from him opening his heart to you.

"No one could kill you, my fire, I won't let anything kill you."

And you believed him.

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[varlaisvea]

A Guide to the Art of Fortune-Telling with Tales of Tribute

Part I: How to read the cards, plus interpretations of six Patrons

For the free day of @tes-summer-fest, here's the first half of a "how-to" on reading fortunes with a Tales of Tribute deck! (Note: this is fictional and in-universe; I have some ideas for ways to approximate this, but as far as I know, sadly, there's no real Tales of Tarot.)

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Like many who wield psijic magic, in my youth back in Sunhold, I used to make a bit of coin telling fortunes. I fell out of practice when I left Sunhold after the Maormer invaded, but when I travel, I still make a habit of seeking out fortune-tellers to see how they weave their tales. A few years ago, when I was in Black Kiergo as a healer, I met one of the finest tellers I’ve yet experienced, and his deck of cards had an alluring hexagonal shape that I felt added so much flourish to his interpretations. So when I first saw Tales of Tribute cards, whose shape is based on Pellitine tarot, I knew I had to try using them to read fortunes! Of course it had been a while, but I dusted off my old skills and started reading for friends and lovers. Since then, I’ve met several others who use Tales of Tribute cards for mystic purposes, and since these cards are seemingly in every tavern, it’s easy to get your hands on them.

This little book represents what I’ve learned so far, I hope others will publish their findings!

---

Learning how to read the cards

You’ve seen a fortune-teller use cards, no doubt—they lay out their cards in a mystical sequence in front of them, and then read from those cards their querent’s future. Tales of Tribute is a game about storytelling, and above all, you should see your reading as a story—this is actually the highest function of fortune-telling, no? There are countless meanings for each component of the reading, and if you try to understand them all separately, you will lose your mind and your client! While it is useful to be able to pick out specific meanings, the goal is to take the tableau as a whole and then view its parts. Therefore, I strongly advise you do not read the full tableau until all of the cards are dealt.

The layout I will cite here is the classic layout used for fortune-telling, but there are countless others! As you learn how to read the cards, you may decide there are layouts that work better for you, or that give more insight in specific situations.

Step One: Choose your Patrons

For this reading, we are going to use four Patrons—the classic and most common. In general, you should choose at least two but no more than four—one perspective is never the full picture, but more than four is too many voices. A note: it is best for beginners to choose Patrons at random from the bag of tokens—if you’re doing a reading for a querent, let them pull the medallions from the bag. (Choosing specific Patrons has its value; you may have certain Patrons you’re drawn to, or Patrons whose energy you specifically seek in your reading. I recommend saving that for when you have developed a good sense of the personalities of the various Patrons.)

Step Two: Place the Patrons

Place the four tokens in positions representing north, south, east, and west.

The four cardinal directions are associated with many things—heroes, legends, constellations, elements, and many more. You may choose not to place meaning on the positions of the Patrons, or you may choose to derive meaning from this—whatever you like. I have noticed certain Patrons have stronger influence on the reading in certain positions, for example, Ansei Frandar Hunding in the east (typically associated with Yokuda) tends to be more powerful than he would be in other positions, likewise with Sorcerer-King Orgnum in the west (typically associated with the sea).

Take a moment to look at your four Patrons and meditate on what they say about the reading, the querent, or the question at hand. What themes are represented and reinforced by the four of them together? Where are their conflicts? The four Patrons together will tell you the broad strokes and big picture of the reading. In the final chapter, I will detail the meanings I have noticed for various Patrons, and synergies I have found recurring through my readings.

Step Three: Deal the cards and place them in the spread

Next, remove the starter cards and shuffle all four Patrons’ decks together. Ask your querent to meditate upon their question or situation, and have them cut the deck.

It is said that change in Nirn happens in six ways, and fortune-telling is all about telling stories of change. So, for this spread, we will use six cards. Deal them, and place them in a roughly hexagonal shape, like so:

Again, you may notice associations with the various positions, or with the order in which the cards are dealt, or the orientation of the cards, their proximity to the Patron tokens, or many other things. Notice what calls to you, what stands out. Notice also what your mind wishes you to ignore—this is always a valuable lens.

Step Four: Interpret!

Look over the spread as a whole—what energies are strongest?

For example, if four out of six of your cards are from the Red Eagle deck, the tone of the entire reading is likely to be colored by the stark and resilient energies associated with Red Eagle, and the position of the Red Eagle medallion might have extra meaning or strength. Likewise, if you put down three threes, you can expect the energies associated with the number three to play a large part in the interpretation. As another example, more expensive cards are rarer. Sometimes, I have found that a spread heavy with expensive cards is a sign of good luck and fortune for my querent, whereas other times, it adds a flavor of challenge, difficult-to-reach objectives; walking against a strong headwind. It all depends on how the cards fit into the overall context of the spread.

One last point of advice: remember that your culture, heritage, and life experience will matter a great deal to your perspective and your interpretation, but it is foolish to stop there. The most well-rounded readings draw from as many cultures and sources as possible.

Guide to interpretations

Please note, this is information I have gleaned from my own experiences, and chatting with others who are using Tribute to tell fortunes. You may find that the cards have different energies in your hands, or on certain days, or many other factors—the best way to learn is to keep practicing! And don’t take any of this too gravely—take it from a seasoned fortune-teller: sometimes a fanciful or flimsy interpretation is more satisfying than a literal one. As I said, above all, your reading should tell a story—even if it is not a pleasant one. And of course, don’t forget to use the art on the cards to help guide your interpretation!

Finally, remember that Change is the most sacred force we experience, so no matter what the cards portend, a different outcome is always possible!

Card costs in gold

We will primarily be using the Patrons to guide our reading, but of course, it's the cards you're reading! So a good place to start is the gold value of each card.

In general, even numbers tend to correspond with order and stability, while odd numbers tend to correspond with change and chaos. This is also true when speaking of other numbers beyond the cost—months, days—any number associated with your reading.

Twos — Hints, portents, beginnings. The essence of the thing in question. Threes — Ephemeral. Sacrifice. The right thing at the right time. Fours — The source of power, the edge. A thing working the way it is supposed to. Fives— Chaos, secrets and subterfuge. Acquisitions, thievery. Sixes — Order. Important person, the agent, the one who carries out the orders. Protection/protector

Numbers above six are less common, so their themes are more specific to the individual cards.

Keep in mind that different Patrons affect different numbers differently. For example, Rajhin's upgraded five (Grand Larceny) is to me the most five card possible, for reasons you'll learn very soon. As another example, save for one card, the Duke of Crows has only fours and sixes, so those numbers will have extra meaning when you're working with the Duke. And so on!

Moon phases

I was fortunate to spend several months traveling with Baandari healers, many of whom are also fortune-tellers. They taught me how the phases of the moons are interpreted in fortune-telling—or at least they taught me well enough that I can somewhat-capably use it in my readings! The Baandari fortune-tellers explained it like this: when Azurah created Khajiit, she gave each of the sixteen furstocks different abilities and strengths.

One could view it as a spectrum with Alfiq and Senche-raht at either end. If we’re talking about individual Khajiit, of course there are Alfiq brawlers and Senche-raht wizards and everything in between, so for fortune-telling purposes, these characteristics define the moon phase rather than the people born under it, even though it also tends to describe the people born under it… eh, it would take a long time to explain the finer points, but very roughly: Alfiq represents great mystical power and nimbleness of the body, Senche-raht is great physical power and nimbleness of the mind, and all the rest fall somewhere in between. I have noted the moon phases when I have found a strong connection in my readings.

Associations with months of the year and constellations

This is where the Patrons draw some of their strongest energy. Some of the associations, I have found to be very strong, while others are loose or vacillate between a few different constellations/months. Here, I have listed each Patron along with the month/constellation I have found it most strongly associated with, both for myself and others, as well as some of the most common traditional interpretations of each constellation—as with everything else, you may include or discard these as you see necessary!

A note on The Serpent

Currently there are twelve Tales of Tribute patrons, so none is associated with The Serpent—as is appropriate, The Serpent’s energy is everywhere and nowhere, affecting every patron at one time or another. If there is ever a thirteenth patron, I’d put coin on The Serpent becoming most strongly associated with Sorcerer-King Orgnum—for me, he is usually far more Serpent than Lover—but the snake’s presence will most certainly continue to be felt everywhere. You will know The Serpent when you feel it—as if there is something else pulling at your thoughts along with the patron’s normal energies.

Some patrons are far more susceptible to The Serpent than others in my experience. For example, St. Pelin often struggles to escape The Serpent’s energy, and Hermaeus Mora is a strong personality who is nevertheless vexed by The Serpent. The Druid King and Red Eagle are associated with old magic; when The Serpent arrives with them, it is an adversary, but one they welcome, as they have mastered its energy. For the three guide constellations, (Mage, Warrior, and Thief, represented by Psijic Loremaster Celarus, Saint Alessia, and The Duke of Crows respectively), their relationship with The Serpent is part of their identity—never look at The Thief, The Mage, or The Warrior without also wondering where The Serpent is! I will note The Serpent’s effects where applicable, but all I can say is be sure to listen to The Serpent when it arrives!

Below, you'll find the first six Patrons, and notes on interpreting each.

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The Druid King

Cohesion. Overwhelming might. Ancient magic, nature magic, the Earthbones. Insularity. Teamwork/collaboration within the chosen group. Synergy, abundance. Experimentation.

Constellation: The Ritual (a charge of The Mage) The Ritual is associated with magic, especially old magic. Despite being associated with change, its association with old magic means it’s the sort of change that often has very old roots which have weathered hardship—late winter; the moments of silence before the rebirth of spring begins. As an image The Ritual represents the Eye of Magnus itself, magicka itself, and the Druids revere The Ritual above all. The first month of the year is a fitting place for the roots of magic.

The Ritual has seven stars and occurs in Morning Star, the first month of the year, so it is associated with the numbers 1 and 7. This makes it strongly mutable, associated with odd numbers and thus change. Morning Star is Vakka (Sun) in Jel. (Another association with Magnus.) To the Dwemer, The Ritual was The Laboratory. In Yokudan song, The Ritual is turning through the night. It is a protective sign, and Celestials associate it with protection of the head.

Moon phase: Dagi-raht Copious raw mystic power, with understanding of earthly things sufficient to master old magics.

———

Sorcerer-King Orgnum

Pressure. Groupthink. Piracy, plunder, mercilessness. All-or-nothing. High risk and high reward, priority of the whole at the expense of the individual. Keep in mind, I’m from Sunhold, where we’re generally not terribly fond of Maormer, and that surely colors my interpretation of the Sorcerer-King, but we better than most can attest to Maormeri efficiency. Orgnum represents what we came to call ‘the triumph of rats’—on their own, each individual problem is fairly easy to deal with (if you can catch them), but if too many of them overwhelm you, their victory is all but assured, and you’ll have to scuttle your ship to be free of them completely. King Orgnum means that a querent could be in danger of losing everything if they’re not vigilant.

Constellation: The Lover (a charge of The Thief) As I said, for me King Orgnum is the most mobile, and brings The Serpent more than any other. Still, The Lover works for him when I think of how the Maormer see him: they tend to think as one, with Orgnum as their guiding light. The Lover is associated with relationships of all kinds, and with protection and safety. The Serpent is everything for King Orgnum—sometimes I think he's been assigned The Lover because it was the last sign left over. If nothing feels Lover at all about your reading, just look to The Serpent!

The Lover has twelve stars and occurs in Sun’s Dawn, the second month of the year, so it is associated with the numbers 2 and 12. The Lover is very fixed, associated with many even numbers—order and security. Sun’s Dawn is Xeech (Nut) in Jel. In Yokudan song, The Lover is sighing through the night. It is a protective sign, and Celestials associate it with protection of the hands.

Moon phase: Suthay Represents potential, and power yet to come.

————

Grandmaster Delmene Hlaalu

Cold ruthlessness. Mastery. Gold. Subterfuge. The power of coin. Everything and everyone has a cost; enough gold opens any door. Everything is negotiable, a smile on the face with a dagger behind the back. The long game. Shrewdness, financial intelligence, opportunism. Trade and commerce. Luck in business affairs. Avoidance of conflict in favor of negotiation. The Grandmaster is calculating, a master at finding opportunity, even in seemingly-bad situations. There is always a solution, it just may not be palatable; she is the opposite of sunk-costs. No matter how bad things get, no matter how many people you must hurt, no matter how much you might harm your own long-term plans, there is always a way to get ahead in the short term.

Constellation: The Lord (a charge of The Warrior) The Celestials say of The Lord, who wieldeth both sword and plowshare, planting both seeds and foes? That’s what the Grandmaster represents: control of the game board—winning not with soldiers or resources, but by controlling the movements of both, and playing them against each other when useful. The Serpent rarely affects the Grandmaster—she simply has no time for it. When it does, it's in subtle ways; uncharacteristic carelessness with coin, relinquishing the upper hand in business choices, and other such anomalies.

The Lord has nineteen stars and occurs in First Seed, the third month of the year, so it is associated with the numbers 3 and 19. First Seed is Sisei (Sprout) in Jel. In Yokudan song, The Lord is advancing through the night. It is a combative sign, and Celestials associate it with swords. The Lord is mutable, befitting both sword and plowshare; associated with odd numbers and thus chaos and change.

Moon phase: Ohmes Versatility, cunning, hiding in plain sight.

———————

Psijic Loremaster Celarus

Manipulation. Control. Hidden agendas, farseeing, scrying. Time. Order, hypocrisy, upholding status quo. Puppetmaster. Kingmaker. The long game. A check on power, a deus ex machina. Eternal knowledge, fate, plots, the long arc of history. Celarus reminds us that someone is always watching, whether we like it or not, and that no matter how powerful we are, Time is stronger. The Loremaster allies himself with power and status, for a good only the Psijic Order gets to define, so he represents shadowy forces we do not control, and agendas to which we are not privy. A heavy presence of his cards is a warning that there are forces at play you do not understand, and cannot affect.

Constellation: The Mage I am an adherent of the ancient psijic tradition from which the Psijic Order long ago untethered itself, erasing its roots in the process, so in this case, like Socerer-King Orgnum, my own life colors my opinion of the good Loremaster. While it may personally pain me to associate him with the celestial Mage, I cannot deny that the Loremaster represents the very concept of magic itself, and specifically, mastery thereof. To the Dwemer, a Mechanist would be a crucial person indeed, whose abilities and choices impact the very functioning of life. We who still follow the psijic way, the Old Ways, have had our magic branded as witchcraft, but Reachfolk use the word witch with the great reverence it deserves—and whether Celarus likes it or not, it describes him: a master of very old, very powerful magic, poorly understood by most. The Serpent is never far away, though—in the hands of a powerful mage like Celarus, The Serpent's touch of chaos is a harnessable and exploitable energy like any other. But, it adds a very unwelcome hint of urgency that weighs on Celarus if it is not dealt with quickly.

The Mage consists of twenty-seven stars, plus the planet Julianos, and occurs in Rain’s Hand, the fourth month of the year, so it is associated with the numbers 4 and 28. This makes it strongly fixed, associated with even numbers, stability, and order. Rain’s Hand is Hist-Deek (Hist Sapling) in Jel. To the Dwemer, The Mage was the Mechanist, and to the Reachfolk, The Mage is The Witch. In Yokudan song, the wise Mage orders. It is a combative sign, and Celestials associate it with staves.

Moon phase: Alfiq The most mystically gifted, with the power to pull the strings of the Moons.

—————

Rajhin, the Purring Liar

Deception. Zero-sum games. Self-sufficiency, self-promotion. Smooth talkers. Rain of sand, war of attrition. Isolation is the word most associated with Rajhin—he has trouble making allies; the master thief, at best, has allies of convenience. Rajhin is clever and nimble enough to stop an entire army with only his sleek wits and his shadows for help, so Rajhin reminds us that one person’s cunning can bring gods and mortals alike to their knees. But shadows land no blows, so Rajhin is also the only Patron who cannot win on his own. When someone does get the upper hand on Rajhin, he is doomed, and when he is finally forced to learn his lesson, it is painful. Don’t forget about the sweet purrs in Rajhin’s lies—a skillful tongue opens at least as many doors as a key! But just as forcing your opponent to sustain losses is no substitute at all for winning, talking your way into someone’s bed is no substitute at all for true love.

Constellation: The Shadow (a charge of The Thief) The Celestials associate The Shadow with shoulders—uncovering only to strike from below. Rajhin is fittingly associated with the shoulders, as Rajhin is always looking over his, always sleeping with one eye open. Becoming a master thief is only half mastering the art of swiping things—the other half is not getting caught. If the Serpent is around, Rajhin makes mistakes, and nothing dooms nimble cleverness faster than a few missteps—work through The Serpent's energy quickly, or everything falls apart, and it's just you and your very, very angry adversary.

The Shadow has five stars, and occurs in Second Seed, the fifth month of the year, so it is associated strongly with the number 5. Second Seed is Hist-Dooka (Mature Hist) in Jel. In Yokudan song, The Shadow is lying through the night. It is a protective sign, and Celestials associate it with protection of the shoulders. The Shadow is mutable, associated with change and chaos.

Moon phase: Dagi Nimbleness of mind and body, well-suited for hiding and moving swiftly, unseen.

—————

Ansei Frandar Hunding

Choices, especially forced choices. Flexibility. Well-rounded warriors. Preparedness. Mastery of martial skills. Hunding is loyal to whomever has the might to employ him, so while he is a formidable foe with an equally formidable force behind him, he is also a reminder that loyalty is for friends, family, and lovers—one who lives by the sword is ultimately loyal only to their sword. Hunding is the only Patron who has no neutral position; once he has entered the fight, you must contend with him, either as an ally or as a boon to your opponent, and there is no third option. The lack of neutrality also means that sometimes there will be no warning that defeat is at your doorstep—keep an eye out for people whose shift in loyalty could turn the tide without notice. You may need to be an extra step ahead to keep them from leaving you in a lurch.

Constellation: The Steed (a charge of The Warrior) The Steed is prancing through the night according to the Yokudans, and Frandar Hunding represents the warrior-poet; he who understands that battle is a performance and a puzzle as much as it is a test of might. In my experience, Hunding is rarely affected by The Serpent—The Serpent is usually smart enough to avoid being underfoot of The Steed. However, when The Serpent does upset fixed, staid, orderly Frandar Hunding, it’s absolute chaos: up is down, yes means no, and the stars feel as if they’ve spilled out of a bowl—totally unfamiliar and useless for guiding your ship or your choices.

The Steed has eight stars and occurs in Mid-Year, the sixth month of the year, so it is associated with the numbers 6 and 8. Mid-Year is Hist-Tsoko (Elder Hist) in Jel. In Yokudan song, The Steed is prancing through the night. It is a protective sign, and Celestials associate it with protection of the feet. The Steed is fixed, associated with order and security.

Moon phase: Pahmar-raht Represents physical capability well-tempered by intellectual and political capability.

——————————

Please look for Part II, which will detail the other six Patrons, plus some interesting synergies I have noticed!

[merlin-slut]

all the different arthurian legend related books ive read

so these are just books ive read that are either based in on the original stories or reincarnation related!! i have no ranking system so this is just based on vibes and is mostly in the order of when i read them, with the most recent at the top (except for the mary stewart series but im just very passionate about it lmao)

The Arthurian Saga by Mary Stewart: SO GOOD i loved it so much it was amazing HIGHLY recommend!!! it was more historically based and is so so so so so well done!! i read this about a year ago and im already thinking of rereading it!! the first book, the crystal cave, focuses on merlin growing up and learning about his visions! it covers up until arthur being conceived. it was SO GOOD and i desperately want to watch the cursed looking tv show based off of it!!

The Once and Future King by T.H. White (this included the Book of Merlyn): there was something about this i didnt quite vibe with. like i mean it was pretty good until the book of merlyn so maybe just skip that and leave it incomplete lmao definitely had more of the whimsical vibe attached to the legends, as its what the disney the sword in the stone is based off of. so, i would say it was only so-so for me

The Other Merlin by Robyn Schneider: okay so i was tricked into reading this by tiktok because i saw the author saying it was waaaaaaaaaay more gay than it was and very merthur inspired and please dont read it if you think thats the case. it does have some interesting concepts about sexism in magic (though not entirely in the way you think) and focuses on the merlin you're thinking of's children. it was alright on its own, as long as you separate it out from bbc Merlin. the advertising of the book skewed my perception about what it would be. so yeah, its not the best but its still a fun story!

Camelot Rising series by Kiersten White: ooooooooo these ones were fun!! its told from Guinevere's point of view but it isn't actually Guinevere!! she's a changeling who was sent to Camelot to marry Arthur and was told she would be his protector from something working to destroy what he was building! it was interesting and so fun to be in guinevere's mind while she tried to figure out who she is and what is trying to destroy camelot!! so fun!!

The Dragon's Call by Simon Forward: honestly no notes! so fun! its a retelling of episode 1 with some added details!!!! excellenttttttttttt

Gwen and Art Aren't in Love by Lex Croucher: ooooooo this one was fun too!! and is actually queer as advertised!!! so gwen and art HATE each other until they discover that they're both gay and decide on an alliance to help each other out and protect themselves!! so yes!!! actually gay!!!!! however i do think so bits were a bit slow and so it def couldve been paced a lot better but overall, wasnt bad!

Potions and Poison by Jacqueline Rayner: again another book thats a retelling of the show!!! it covered s1 e3 and 4! and is part of the younger readers collection so it def was written for young audience but it had some full illustrations and was still fun to read!!!

Once & Future by Amy Rose Capetta and Cory McCarthy: sooooooo I read book 1 but have not read the sequel! its set in space, in the future, and Ari is the 42nd reincarnation of King Arthur. so yeah, its a little different lmao. this one is also fun with ari discovering who she is, both as a reincarnation of king arthur, and with her queer identity! she meets a teen merlin, who, like in white's the once and future king, is aging in reverse, so it creates some fun dynamics! I read this one over a year ago so the details are a little fuzzy but i remember liking it, although some bits were slightly confusing i think??? i remember them trying to take down an evil government and ari being an illegal immigrant! so maybe i should reread this and then read book two?????

Avalon High by Meg Cabot: so yeah this is what that dcom is based off of but the book is pretty different!! i feel like the book is more stereotypical in the way arthurian legend retellings go, especially compared to the movie! still it was a fun and very fast read!! very like YA style book though, but its meg cabot so its to be expected and very much a 2005 book!

i think this is all of them???????? but im going to list what's on my tbr and if yall have an recs PLEASE send them my way!!!

the rest of the bbc merlin episode retellings

le morte d'arthur by thomas malory

bliss and blunder by victoria gosling

sir gawain and the green knight (are there any specific version recs???)

the fall of arthur by j.r.r. tolkien

[aesethewitch]

Hey friend 👋 I just stumbled across your ghost analysis post and was intrigued, and saw that you do tarot readings?

I recently began looking into tarot, but the two decks I have aren't traditional ones, but I've read from a lot of people that traditional tarot decks are the (only?) way to go. I'm curious about your journey in learn to interpret the deck(s) you have, since I'm also struggling with that.

I also see that you have a free tarot reading Friday, and since it IS Friday, I'd like to ask- how can I overcome the political and religious obstacles that force me to hide?

(if this is a question that isn't so suited for tarot, that's my bad)

-SC

Hey there! (:

So, anyone who tells you there's only One Right Way to do something is full of shit. Folks just like to feel superior for doing things More Correctly Than You.

You can use whatever for divination and get solid results. You could make a functioning system out of coupons. Hell, you could doodle on printer paper, cut it into squares, and then use it as a tarot deck. That would probably work, as long as you understood what the pictures meant.

Some folks have an easier time with traditional decks, others don't. I tend to vibe with decks that are a little funky. Extra cards, different suits, interesting presentations, etc.

The deck I use most often, the Alleyman's Tarot, is technically not a tarot deck at all -- it's an oracle deck, since it doesn't follow the "traditional" composition of a tarot deck (major arcana + minor arcana). But I still call it a tarot deck because I can and I use it like one. It works great.

I do have the Deviant Moon Tarot, which is based on the Rider-Waite-Smith, and it would be considered a "traditional" kind of deck. It's a great deck, and it's the one I taught myself to read with many years ago.

When I got that deck, I believed that someone else had to buy tarot decks for you; it was "selfish" and would "taint" the deck's power if you bought it yourself. Also bullshit, by the way, but I had that belief in me. A kind lady overheard me lamenting and pining for the Deviant Moon in a bookstore, bought me a gift card, and gave it to me with a note telling me to buy the deck for myself. It was a life-defining moment for me, to be sure, and one that sticks with me today. I strive to live up to that kindness.

Learning was an interesting thing. I didn't look up any spreads, and I barely used the book. Mostly, I just wanted to look like I knew what I was doing right out the gate (I didn't; I was 18 and had self-image issues, lmao). So I taught myself to interpret based on vibes and imagery, then went back to reference the book when I really needed to. It helped that I had a spirit ally hanging around that was looking for a vessel; it's still attached to those cards to this day, and it helped me learn how to hone my abilities. For a long time, the act of pretending I knew what I was talking about prevented me from actually learning much at all.

It isn't... well, it isn't great advice. I wouldn't recommend "learning" tarot the way I did. I figured it out after a while, but there was no real system to it. If I could go back and relearn it the way I would do it now, I absolutely would. Here's what I've learned is a fairly good method for learning any new tarot deck:

Shuffle the cards and lay the pile face-down.

Draw the top card.

In a notebook, write down your immediate, knee-jerk impressions of the card. I recommend just key words or single sentences.

Then, take a closer look at it. Note the colors, positioning of figures, background imagery, and other details. Write down what you see, not how you would interpret it.

Now interpret. Take your time writing down how the card's specific imagery makes you feel. What does it remind you of?

Jot down an example question and how you would apply the card to the answer. For example, the question "What do I need to know right now?" answered by Temperance could be something like: "Patience is a virtue. Take your time." Or however you would interpret that.

Set the card aside. Repeat until the entire deck is done.

Congrats! Now, you have a general idea of the entire deck's meanings and a handy guide to help you remember what they mean to you.

Bonus step: Review periodically. Opinions and interpretations change as you do.

I follow this routine with every new deck I get. I've figured out that the same card in two different decks could have vastly different meanings, depending on how it's depicted. It's really cool!

Also, it's kind of important to note that I'm not really a full animist. I don't think that tarot decks (or other tools) have individual spirits. My Deviant Moon deck has one, but that's because of the ally I mentioned before. The Alleyman's deck doesn't have a spirit as far as I can tell. I've got spirits hanging around that enjoy assisting with divination and magic and such, though.

As for free tarot, it's closed for now! The update reblog was sent to my drafts instead of posting,,, sorry about that!! Your question would definitely be fine for tarot interpretations (though a little shallow with only one card; situations like that are typically better interpreted with more cards I've found). I do open it up every Friday, though, so feel free to stick around and send another next week! (: (Or visit my Ko-Fi linked in my pinned post if you want a more in-depth paid reading! /shilling)

[murdleandmarot]

hello!! for that ask game, 3 and 17? :D

hi hello!!!! I already answered 17, so I’ll just talk about a couple of my favorite movies :)))

1. The Secret of Moonacre (2009)

Jesus Christ I love this movie. It’s based on a book that is bad, but it was made into a movie that is my favorite thing in the world, me and my sister watch it ALL the time.

There’s just so much to love about it. It’s a fantastical movie that I don’t want to spoil, but it’s got magic, it’s got 2008 CGI, it’s got fairytale worlds, it’s got so many queer undertones that it’s insane, it’s got historically inaccurate but stunning costumes, sets and scenery to DIE for, some of my favorite scenes in movie history just for the whimsy of it all, and Tim Curry.

The main character Maria is LITERALLY just me, and very Jemima coded, and you’ll see why if you watch the movie, I cannot recommend it enough. Someday I should do fanart

And it’s got this gayass mcr teenage guyfailure silly boy with eyeliner who my sister clocked as gay the MINUTE he walked on screen.

(Why do people keep doing that to me. First with this, then my friend with Misto (HOW DID HE DO THAT??? IT WAS THE FIRST LINE!!!))

2. Clue (1985) and Glass Onion (2022)

I LOVE detective and crime movies that are focused on shenanigans, aesthetics, and actually SOLVING the crimes. So much of true crime to me is just ‘and then the violent and misogyny person ate 8 children 😔’ like okay. Thank you.

I actually can’t stand it and that’s why I like murder mysteries more than thrillers.

Clue is hysterical and has shaped my humor to an insane degree, my dad and I quote it each other all of the time. The murder mystery element is incomprehensible but the shenanigans are so good that you don’t even notice the entire movie is nonsense until the end. 10/10 no notes.

Glass Onion is a masterpiece. Eat the rich <3. Also they should keep making Knives Out movies forever.

3. Wait Till Helen Comes (2016) and Bluebeard (2009)

OBSCURE INDIE FILM GIRLIES UNTIE!!! I’m a huge fan of movies that are spooky, but not horror, and these movies delivers on both accounts, at least for me. Also they’re free on YouTube :))) double win!!!!

WTHC was one of my FAVORITE books as a kid, (alongside like. Dork diaries and Frozen Charlotte), so when I saw it was a movie on YouTube I lost my mind. Watched it in the middle of the night at my great-aunts house while writing horror fanfiction. Truly the teenage dream.

It’s SO crazy to me, atmospheric, makes almost no sense, but is still one of my favorites.

Bluebeard is Bluebeard :)) so so good, in French, watched it for the first time about two weeks ago? And my computer started screaming at me. Like actual screams. Super creepy. I love the acting, I love the ambiguous ending that is SUPER dark and abstract. What was going on there. I love it.

[burgerdrome]

Are you still a fan of Warhammer? I hope it’s been long enough that you aren’t scared of this restarting anything but like, I’m a fan myself and everyone I know is also one, and your article gave me some uncomfortable feelings of “what’s the woke way to enjoy this” lol

Hello! Thank you for the delightful question and thank you also for allowing me to be part of the authentic Tumblr experience of receiving an inbox message from a questionable username.

So I guess I think the question about whether there's a "woke way" to enjoy Warhammer is an unhelpful way to think about it (or about anything). It's okay to enjoy a pretend game about silly clanking armoured men just in the same way it's okay to enjoy a pretend video game where you drive a car over the speed limit.

I think a lot of leftists get caught up in ethical hand-wringing and sort of paralysed by how to move forward with something but the reality of participation in a capitalist system is that while you can be conscientious about your choices, at the end of the day you still have to, you know, make those choices. There isn't a perfect way to do it - there is no ethical consumption under capitalism!

One of the great things about the Warhammer hobby - hell, just about all tabletop gaming hobbies - is that the companies who make the products simply cannot stop you from buying them, building them, and playing with them in the way that you want. The fact that Warhammer (hell, D&D too, etc) is essentially imagination layered on top of painted bits of plastic means that the barrier to entry, and the conditions under which a corporation can control your entry, are astonishingly low.

But of course this means that a huge chunk of potential profit is going missing. One of the big ways that Games Workshop - hell, just about all tabletop gaming companies, really - has tried to maximise their profits in recent years has been to attempt to normalise the idea that to "play Warhammer" is to engage in brand loyalty rather than personal creativity - in other words, to own as much of your potential hobby ecosystem as possible.

Purchase your official Warhammer model from the official Warhammer store (good luck getting a pre-order from a local games store which has been deliberately understocked!), clip it from the sprue using official Citadel clippers, glue it with Citadel plastic glue while you're watching the official Warhammer Plus "loremasters" show, basecoat it with Citadel spray, make sure to play it using the new rules we released 3 months ago and which we will update in another book in 3 months time (which you will need to buy, you don't want to miss out!) etc, etc, etc. Deeply tiresome shit.

(Illustrative side note: Recently I saw a post on Facebook marketplace with someone saying "Can someone sell me a pair of Citadel clippers, my last ones broke!" Someone immediately responded to recommend going to buy a pair at Bunnings for $5, and the person legitimately had to be convinced that they were the same product and weren't going to, in some way, "hurt" the models.)

Of course while GW has a long history of trying to trick baffled Christmas aunties into buying spray paint from their stores for $30 instead of from Bunnings for $10, when I got into Warhammer in 1997 DIY creativity was explicitly encouraged and that was pretty much the whole point - Games Workshop literally published books telling you to go to construction sites to find basing sand, to repurpose old cardboard boxes to make buildings and walls, to use guitar strings to make power cables, to write your own missions, to invent your own Chapters (with rules to do so), to build your own characters and leaders, etc, etc. And I did! And it kicked ass.

The old codexes are full of examples of people scratchbuilding whole terrain sets, converting up models for characters that GW couldn't be arsed to provide - that sort of "make it your own! exercise your creativity!" ethos was baked into the very DNA of the hobby, and it has always stuck with me, even as GW has tried to backpedal away from it and focus on "how well can YOU paint OUR kits?"

So now for me I look at Warhammer the same way I might look at an art supply store. Yes I can buy one particular brand of paint or one particular brand of canvas when looking at doing up a new watercolour, but ultimately it's about picking what I think is going to allow me to exercise my creativity the most, or what I enjoy working with.

And when I do throw dice (I am a busy full-time employee with a mortgage and now mostly play small scale Kill Team skirmish games) I play against extremely chill people who have straight-up 3D printed accessories or whole models, or play in my local games club on old Malifaux terrain on a third party game mat, or whatever.

I buy all my models second hand online or purchase out-of-production things at swap meets. I use third-party paints and brushes, and 3D print up conversion parts that I need which I purchase online. I engage with the hobby on my terms and look at it as a way to express my own creativity, or as a series of building blocks to assemble in whichever way I see fit, because that's what makes me happy. Ultimately Games Workshop's colour schemes, lore, etc are (and only ever can be) suggestions - the only difference is that they used to explicitly tell you as much and encourage you to play around, and now they strongly encourage the opposite.

This isn't to cast shade on anyone who just buys GW models and paints them with GW paints or whatever. Doing that isn't somehow a fascist act or a one way ticket to Cancel Jail. They make some nice fucking models! And tbqh their Contrast paints are the best in class for that sort of thing (Army Builder "Speed Paint" ones suck ass).

Buying little toy dolls from companies (at least companies which aren't openly funding genocide) is only a problem if we do so uncritically or treat those little toy dolls as sacred idols and allow them to consume our personalities. That's when you end up with weird right-wing 40K Lore Youtubers with aquila tattoos.

[nateorr25]

After talking about my opinions on artists and comic series' I'm not familiar with I wanted to share my three favourite Comic series'. First is Radiant Black, I found this series while scrolling through Instagram and saw a post recommending it to anyone who likes Spider-Man and Invincible, I liked both of those at the time and still very much do so I went to a comic shop and bought the first volume which contains the first four issues and loved it, it has a very quip-y humour similar to Spider-Man and the story and Characters of Invincible with also a bit of Power Rangers too, I like the regular art style it has with nice line work and bright colours that go well with the panel layout and the scenes but there's also parts in the series where they speak to a great ancient figure named 'The Radiant' and when that happens they get put into a very abstract colour world made of purples, yellows and reds as well as an occasional glitching effect.

Secondly is Invincible, I found the Invincible series after watching the show of the same name and after watching it, I learned it was based of a comic run and immediately bought the first issue off of amazon and read it in an hour. I loved the show a lot and the characters, story and feel, I like how there's a lot of space adventures and backstories as well as incredible fights but the characters arch's and relationships are what I love most. The comics are very similar to the show but with some drastic changes too, one minute you could be reading the comic as well as watching the show and just be seeing the same thing exactly and another could be something that was completely taken out of either the show or comic and that's what I like when a story of some kind gets adapted, I want to see certain things play out in animation but I also don't want to see a word for word remake, I want change and differences and this series does it perfectly.

And lastly, quite a different series, The Adventure Zone is a fantasy series based off of a podcast which I haven't listened to where a group of brothers and their dad play dungeons and dragons and that was turned into a comic, I like this series because after picking up the first issue years ago just as something to read on the plane on my holiday, I was invested, there's a long overarching story but with each book being a very different story, one book the character's are in a murder mystery on a train and then they're stuck in a time loop in a western cowboy town, but the most recent book has a very big plot twist and only one book left to go so I'm very excited for that to come out. I highly recommend this series for anyone who likes fantasy and crude humour.

[elliepassmore]

The Prisoner's Throne review

5/5 stars Recommended if you like: scheming, court intrigue, faeries, morally gray characters

Stolen Heir review

First, I want to say I called it regarding Oak being exactly the kind of person you would think he would be after being raised by Madoc, Oriana, Jude, Cardan, and Taryn (and the Court of Shadows). How any of his family members were surprised by that I have no idea. I'm also happy to say that Taryn actually does seem to have gotten herself together and is much more tolerable in this book than in TFOTA (of course, that was also 8 years ago and Oak's POV is not Jude's, but still).

I enjoyed Stolen Heir but I think I like this one better. I did miss Wren's POV, though like with Oak's in book 1 having her narrate would obviously give some things away. The first book was quest-based and so we got to see a lot of new people and places, and much of the plot centered around the details of the quest. This one, on the other hand, is more along the lines of what we saw in TFOTA, where it is court against court and scheming abounds among those who want power. Questing plots are fun, but I do think I prefer this kind of intrigue.

I was so excited to see Jude and Cardan! I found it interesting to see them through someone else's eyes, since in previous books we've only ever seen them through their own, but Oak is Jude's younger beloved younger brother and Cardan's nephew and BIL, so he has a very different view of them than they do of themselves. That being said, they are more or less exactly as we remember and I enjoyed getting to see their interactions and reading their sass.

Oak is a trickster and a liar. He is, as mentioned, exactly the kind of person you would expect considering his family and the people he grew up around. He's good at scheming and seeing what people want, but he's also incredibly loyal and would do anything for his family. Unlike his father and sister, Oak still doesn't have ambitions for the throne. But that doesn't mean he isn't still involved in court intrigue, and this book shows us just how involved he is and the manipulations he's willing to use to protect the throne. It was interesting to get inside Oak's head since he's a child in TFOTA and Wren is technically a newcomer. Oak does feel like he needs to live up to what his family needs and the sacrifices they've made for him (though let's be honest, Jude's queenly ambitions only started with Oak, she sustained them on her own), and that creates an interesting dynamic. Related to this and to his scheming, Oak has so many layers and masks to portray the things he wants people to see that he also feels like people don't really know him, and it was interesting to see how that plays out.

Oak and Wren spend a lot of time separated in this book, but it's clear Wren is trying to get a grasp on what's going on and what exactly she wants. There are enemies closing in on all sides, and she struggles to find a workaround for all the people demanding things from her, and who have the power to make those things happen. While I know it would probably spoil some of what she's planning, I would've liked to have Wren's POV in this book alongside Oak's. I feel like we are missing part of the story by not having it, and I'd like to know more of her thought processes and how she decided what was a strategic decision vs not. That being said, we do get to see how Wren behaves when she feels she's been betrayed, and we also get to see how far she'll go for those she's loyal to. She and Oak have that in common, and the two are seemingly willing to rend anything, including themselves, apart in order to save those they love.

I enjoyed following the schemes of this book and learning who the new enemies were. Bogdana is obviously a major player, but there are people in the background that get revealed as the book progresses. In TFOTA, the game is putting someone on the throne and keeping��them there. In this book, it's about determining who is out for the throne and what (and who) they have on their side, all while trying to balance competing priorities.

I'm particularly interested in the setup at the end of the book that seems to promise at least one more book set in Elfhame/involving the Greenbriar-Duarte clan. Holly Black had an interview that basically said as much, so I'm super interested to see where that goes (here's hoping it's Jude and Cardan again!).

Overall I enjoyed this book and seeing how Wren and Oak's story ended. It was interesting being inside Oak's head, though I did miss Wren's POV as well. I'm looking forward to future books set in this world!

[elhoimleafar]

Three Old spells to enhance dreams/night magic.

For Hispanic Heritage Month ~ Three Old magical spells from the Venezuelan Amazonas to enhance dreams/night magic.

My most recent book, Dream Witchery, was finally published almost a year ago, and the DM conversations about it have been truly enriching and nourishing on multiple levels.

Many of these conversations revolve around two specific topics: spells and charms and dream interpretation, which I've already written about in this other post (Click Here to Read it). Another topic I'd like to discuss is dream walkers and lucid dreaming, but the book handles this topic well, and I haven't felt I need to expand on it any further.

Anyway, while I know many of these spells, nobody's gonna practice them, lol, and I need to understand that is not my concern. Many others are looking for more information to integrate into their practice, which is something I'm here for.

Magic dolls hang on the balcony. They were created during the past new moon and filled with a blend of dried powdered herbs and flowers for protection and clairvoyance, keeping us warned and shielded against enemies and their bad intentions. They hang on the balcony in the east direction of the house (air, communication, visions) to spread their energy around the property.

So here are some spells of everyday use for you focused on Night & Dreams magic.

I. Night vision.

A common practice in the Guajira (modern wayuu people in the cities) tribe of the Amazon is night vision. Yes, it sounds funny. The real name is 'Takuma Tiko,' which translates to... (surprise, surprise...)... night vision, lol. Takuma means "something you can see," and Tikoi means 'something dark, something hidden, something in the night. '

It consists of a practical divinatory exercise that involves entering a dark room or one with very little light and simply lighting a candle (traditionally, the candle is anointed with a drop of bird's blood, but we can skip that part for obvious reasons), lighting a small bonfire on the ground or a cauldron with a small bundle of dried herbs collected at dusk, or more specifically, "plants collected with the last light of the day."

You visualize the shapes of the smoke in the darkness, focus your eyes, and breathe deeply into the smoke and its contours around the candle. This ritual is performed twice weekly for an entire lunar cycle (3 to 4 weeks).

Traditionally, we wouldn't tell anyone to "carry a notebook" or "keep track of everything you see." Still, in the modern world, we know that specific recommendations work, so take notes and check your progress.

II. The mask to protect yourself.

In all forms of witchcraft, there are so-called 'witchy wars,' in the old school, kinda interesting wars between witches cursing each other with real spells and sending hexes to others; even you could quickly know when you were part of a witchy war because you see it in nightmares and visions, nothing like these modern "witchy wars" more based on basic bitches sharing boring screenshots via DM and looking to "cancel people?" or some shit like that, but online, nothing magical or interesting (precisely like them) just a dull sea of ​​lies and manipulation and the most prominent display of narcissism and gaslighting.

In the old school, when these witchy wars happened, you saw actual witches meeting in the night and working together, sharing formulas, exchanging books with notes in them, etc. My mom has never been the friendliest person in the neighborhood or in the witchy groups, so yes, she was always "fighting" some mystical enemies or removing curses that kept us all awake all night. And my lord of the night, I have many stories.

My mother's divination method uses tobacco, and if you have been to a proper divination session (here is more information), you know that the answers are pretty specific. It is pretty different from tarot or runes; it is more of a system of "Q&A" and interpretation of images in the ashes.

One old trick witches did when you were trying to reveal the identity of a brujo was asking the tobacco to reveal their identity. I clearly remember when Mom repeatedly said, "I see nothing." Then Aura, a friend of Mom's, told her this person was masked, and I was curious and listening. She explained to us something curious: when a witch wants to curse you, send you deaths and curses, and wants to keep her identity a secret from the "Reversals," it involved putting on a mask made of black cloth during the night ritual to send the curse in the direction of one's enemies, and to ensure that the curse would not return.

III. A basic protection spell.

You'll find different regional variations of this simple recipe in many books on Espiritismo and Brujeria (not to be confused with Western Witchcraft).

It consists of keeping a glass with clean water under the bed. Depending on the different traditions of magic they follow, this glass of water can be accompanied by a pair of scissors opened in the shape of a cross, two knives crossed over each other, a lemon cut into four parts, or five cloves of garlic.

My own variation of this spell is to keep the glass with clean water that I renew every night before going to sleep, with 3-5 drops of myrrh or frankincense essential oil, a piece of crystal quartz, and a small piece of amethyst placed next to the glass of water.

For more context or to dive deeper into the topic, read These are the questions I get most often about Dream Witchery and The Dream Interpreter: A Bridge Between Worlds in the Amazon.

Also, to explore more into the topic, grab a copy of my 400-pages book "Dream witchery" Here 

[oo-hazel-oo]

hey everyone, i’m back… sort of.

i know i disappeared off the face of the planet for a while and i’ve been absolutely awful at keeping in touch with so many of you, which i am so, so sorry for. i’ve been dealing with some health stuff that prompted me to take a social media break, but it was one of my new year’s resolutions to reconnect with you all. i’ve missed everyone so much. so to start 2024 off on the right foot, i thought i’d give you all a recap of the past six months! i also thought i owed y’all an explanation for why i disappeared for so long, so i included that below the cut (tw: health stuff - if you have health anxiety, don’t read - or if you’re just wanting some happy news, feel free to read the fun update instead!)

fun update

some amazing things have happened this year!

♥️ i graduated university with first-class-honors!

♥️ i got to meet some of my amazing internet friends in-person (shout out to @just-another-dreamerr <3)

♥️ i finally got my u.k. citizenship and decided to move to scotland on a more permanent basis (will be starting grad school in sept. 2024)

♥️ got to spend some quality time with my best friend before she moved across the country

♥️ rediscovered the joy of live music

♥️ received amazing recommendations from my professors for my grad school applications, which really helped validate my writing and made me smile for a week straight

♥️ i got to travel across europe with friends and family - saw some beautiful places, ate incredible food, and met some of the kindest, most generous people

♥️ got to witness my favorite football (soccer) team make it to playoffs

♥️ improved my crocheting so i now i get to make lots of little gifts for friends and family

♥️ finally found a curly hair routine i love!

not-so-fun update

(again, tw: health stuff)

so over the past year i’ve been dealing with health issues, both physical and mental, and i finally went to my GP to address them last january. they essentially told me that everything could be attributed to anxiety and low iron levels; i accepted this at first, but when symptoms persisted over spring/summer, i became a bit frustrated - i felt like once anxiety was added to my record, it was all the doctors would acknowledge. anyways, flash forward to a month ago when i finally found a symptom that was a bit more difficult to just brush off as anxiety - a painless, hard lump at the base of my neck.

as soon as i found it, i booked an appointment with my family’s doctor, as i have family history of cancer (including my mom and grandma), and have since become wary of any unusual lumps and bumps. but to be honest with you, i wasn’t that worried - i was assuming it was just a swollen lymph node. this new doctor was more thorough than any doctor i had seen in the past. she ran a bunch of tests and discovered that my WBC count was low. my iron levels were actually great, which surprised me because i had attributed lots of my previous symptoms to iron deficiency. she took a look at my neck and immediately was concerned by the size, texture, and location of the lump and referred me for an urgent ultrasound, which i have on the 8th, to (hopefully) rule out the possibility of lymphoma.

needless to say, i’m panicking a bit. on the one hand, i’m glad i’m finally being taken seriously by a doctor. on the other hand, i’m supposed to move to the u.k. on the 19th and no longer know if that will be happening. the not-knowing and waiting around is really, really hard.

so it’s been a difficult start of the year for me and i feel a bit burnt out by everything. but i’m trying to keep myself busy with the things i love and hope that this will at the very least give me some much-needed answers.

anyways, i love you all so much and hope the new year is treating you well. and if it’s not, know that you definitely are not alone. please shoot me a message, even if we’ve never really talked, i really want to catch up and hear about all the amazing things y’all have been up to! ♥️

[zoeyslayter]

2024 To Read List (plus reasons as needed):

TW for Columbine/school unaliving mention and conversion mentions (homophobia). If I've missed your trigger let me know so I can fix the tags accordingly.

All book titles connected to their respective Goodreads pages.

A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy by Sue Klebold - Reading this out of pure spite in response to an-in my opinion- unfair video about Sue. Won't link it so the guy doesn't get harassed but it made my blood boil. Side note: I have a special interest in Columbine but I in no way am interested in joining Tumblr's TCC. Eric and Dylan should not be fangirled over imho.

Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett - I like faerie books

Murder Your Employer: The McMaster's Guide of Homicide by Rupert Holmes - No particular reason; saw it at B&N and thought it seemed interesting. R.L. Stine apparently liked it so hey, why not?

We Sold Our Souls by Grady Hendrix - I've been looking at this author for a while, and I own some of his books on audible, but I've been trying to get back into physical media

My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom by Satoru Yamaguchi, illustrated by Nami Hidaka, and translated by Shirley Yeung - Whole series, but I'm on the second book. One of my all time favorite animes. Can't wait for the Switch game to come out in NA.

Fire Dancer by Catherine Jones Payne - I met this author about 2 years ago at a convention and she is awesome. I'm almost done with her Breakwater series, which I also recommend if you like mermaids.

Split Image: The Life of Anthony Perkins by Charles Winecoff - Perkins has been said to be bisexual, but based on further research I genuinely think that he might have been a homosexual. This topic surrounding him has interested me for a while. especially since I have reason to believe that this came from conversion therapy.

RWBY: After the Fall by E.C. Meyers - I love RWBY and also fanfiction reasons. I also got Before the Dawn and Roman Holiday for similar reasons.

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins - Okay so I read the first book around the time the first movie came out but I only watched the movies past that, and I suddenly got hooked back in by people mentioning small details that Collins wrote, as well as Panem Academy and Emhahee on tiktok

[littleblueberryartist]

Hello! I’m relatively new to the genshin fandom and after doing Venti’s story quest I have decided that he is the favorite, but all of the fics I try to find with him he’s usually just a side character, so do you have any recommendations? :)

Sorry if it’s too much to ask you can ignore this if you want

Anon we are shaking hands!!! Venti's story quest really got a lot of people onto the Venti fan train huh XD

Also you're in luck because when ever I hyperfixate on a character I tend to scourer their ao3 tag like a dog digging holes in someone's yard (admittedly I've only begun organizing my bookmarks recently so I may miss a fic but it's fineeee)

Anyway onto the fic recs! (I'll mention the potential quest spoilers since I don't know how far into the game you are)

The Melody of a Gentle Breeze A recent fic I read and one I made art for! Nameless Bard/Venti's friend gets yeeted to the present learns about how the world has changed. I love how he's characterized here and how his relationship with venti is portrayed <3 (admittedly venti isn't the main focus here but you can feel his presence and influence on the fic and I adore that!!!)

Singing to the Mountains, Only My Echoes Sing Back This one is based on the Wings of Shimmering Galaxy (anniversary glider) description! It's about Venti's story and the fic ties it to song and I love it a ton!!!

Pure Sky This one is a lighter one that uses wine as a character study and honestly I love that! Venti and his love for Mond and their love for one another in return my beloved!!!!

Three Evenings Before the End THIS ONE THIS ONE IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE FICS!! It talks about Venti's friend's throughout Mondstadt's history and the whole thing with repeating parallels and how he notices the similarities and differences between his friends throughout the ages,,, o u g h A lot of the stuff in the fic is regarding bits of old mondstadt and aristocratic mond lore that you can find in book, weapon and artifact descriptions in game so it's not quite spoilers. But you might get a little confused regarding the characters if you don't know the jist of mond's history sfdgdfs (the author has the second chapter dedicated to worldbuilding and lore speculations tho which is hella neat!!!!)

Event Horizon I THINK ABOUT THIS EVERY SINGLE DAY Not really spoilers but it does talk about the Cataclysm and destruction of Khaenri'ah + speculations(?) though a convo between Venti and Dain (The guy that narrates the character miscellanies and who first appears in game in Bough Keeper: Dainsleif and later on in subsequent archon quests)

The Archons (soldier, poet, king ANOTHER FAVE OF MINE! This one's a series about Venti and his interactions with the other archons!! I love how it shows the more serious side of him that others may not see along with his usual silly whimsy <3 Of course, since each fic talks about the archons we meet in each nation, spoilers for all the archon quests so far!

The Springtimes You Never Saw Okay this one's longer than the ones I've recommended so far (my ADHD fucks with my attention span so I tend to stick to one-shots for the most part) but it's so good!!!! I know I say that about all the fics here lmao but I do genuinely adore this fic. It's a canon divergent AU where Dvalin never gets poisoned during the fight with Durin 500 years ago and it's such a good character study of my boyyyyy Also while the fic is tagged xiaoven it's queerplatonic and the pairing doesn't take center stage (not that into shipping in general lol so I tend to prefer fics without ships or with them not as the main focus)