#and i relate it to place because i simply was not having this issue before i moved. and i imagine (hope) when i move again it will be better

[ckret2]

Basically a scene where Ford's emotional atrophy is shown by not recognizing that Bill is showing his vulnerable side or dismissing it as Bill manipulating him, but also a scene where he realizes how broken Bill is regarding the massacre, his self-deception saying that his dimension is fine as himself, but more so Bill's self-perception as a monster for having destroyed Euclydia

I got nine asks one after another just a few minutes apart, so I'm assuming they're from the same person and answering them accordingly.

I don't think Ford has "emotional atrophy."

And I already have significant plans in place for exploring Ford & Bill's trust/trustworthiness issues, and Ford finding out about Bill's emotional relationship to his dimension.

Ford will tell Mabel at some point, when Bill showed him the last particle of Euclydia (I know that's not the case in this masterpiece), and it ends with Mabel going to hug Bill and telling him why.

This is a canon-compatible fic, including TBOB. Anything that doesn't currently appear to be canon-compatible was written & posted before TBOB came out and is still in the process of being updated.

But even at that, I think the only thing that implies Bill might not have shown Ford the particle is simply that it hasn't been mentioned. That can be fixed with one sentence during revisions.

Yes, Bill did show Ford the last particle of Euclydia in this fic. That's still canon.

At any rate—Ford may not like Bill, but he's not the kind of person to be an asshole just to be an asshole, and telling someone else about the particle would be an asshole move. That moment was deeply private.

Ford says in J3 he spent part of his portal era trying to find out where Bill is from; this means he must have decided "a monster ate it" is either a lie or an incomplete story. Whether or not he saw Euclydia's particle, he believes he doesn't really know what happened to Bill's dimension—which is what he's currently told Mabel—and which is all he's going to tell Mabel.

Bill's perfectly capable of telling Mabel about his home dimension of his own volition, just like he did in ch 52-56.

And that's as it should be. Bill telling Mabel about his secret particle is an act of trust. Ford telling Mabel about Bill's secret particle is a violation of trust.

This is a redemption fic, after all, and forcing Bill to be vulnerable by ripping his secrets out of him and smearing them around town against his will won't help him.

You know what will help him? Getting him to a point where he feels safe sharing his secrets.

In the case of Euclid's design, you have not considered that it is a triangle with a hexagon inside its body, as if the tips of its body were in sections with smaller equilateral triangles, and that the bases that give to the rest of the body adding to the sides form a hexagon.

You say that like it's a fact? It's not a fact.

His design doesn't involve hexagons and I'm not going to incorporate hexagons.

I gave him bricks because his son has bricks and I want them to look like they're related. The bricks are at an angle because I headcanon he has a twin brother and the pattern continues across both their bodies if their sides are pressed together.

Now, I don't particularly like how it looks, which is why I might change it, but "looks like he's related to Bill" and "looks like he's 1/2 of a pair with his brother" remain my objectives in figuring out his design. I'm not just gonna make something up that doesn't line up with those goals.

I will admit that I miss the axolotl since his arc ended, so you can have something about him in the future, like him visiting Mabel through the dream plane just to give her pictures of baby Bill, and tell her that Bill didn't know how to tie his shoes until his teenage years or other embarrassing details that Bill wouldn't want anyone to know.

I have plans for the Axolotl.

Unless plans significantly change, I don't intend for him to swing by Earth again just to hang out and gossip. It robs him of his mystique. Whenever he shows up, it's because he has a purpose.

He's still Bill's lawyer. Bill broke out of Theraprism. That's the sort of thing Bill's lawyer might need to deal with. That's the focus of the Axolotl's engagement in the plot: representing/protecting Bill on a cosmic level, and delving into related themes of justice & punishment & second chances.

The Axolotl barely knew Bill until after the Euclidean massacre; he doesn't have Bill's baby pictures or know when he learned to tie his shoelaces.

Since Dipper's the one who met the Axolotl earlier in the fic and Dipper's the one who's become preoccupied with the Axolotl's poem, Dipper's the one the Ax will speak with again. It's one of his character arcs.

One way to excuse the USB, would be that they have had many incidents of not only losing the USB, but the animals always end up eating it, enough so that making USBs resistant to stomach acid especially for goats is actually a route to the destination of taxpayers' money.

As I've said, I'm deliberately not seeking an explanation for the flash drive because there's no explanation that would be as true to the show's spirit as simply not explaining it would be.

I think I'm stupid, exactly what information did Bill not want to tell Ford about the portal, was it that Bill was the same, was it the nightmare realm or something else?

Bill didn't tell Ford the thing he didn't want to tell him about the portal, and Bill hasn't thought about it while we've been in his POV since then. This is what we in the writing biz call "a mystery."

Now that the Axolotl arc is over, it's possible some people might be able to figure out what Bill didn't want to tell Ford, although I don't expect it from more than one or two readers. But if you haven't figured it out based on the Ax arc? Then the reason you don't know the info is because you haven't been told the info. You'll find out when the story tells you.

If you could have decided what Bill's phobias would be, what would they be? Of the canonical ones, only TV static is good because that's how his blood looks, and that this fear comes from the massacre or naturally from Bill's discomfort at always seeing the inside of everyone in Euclidean (possibly including himself).

tbh I wouldn't have given him phobias? Not everyone reacts to trauma by specifically developing phobias.

Bill's psychological self-care might be shit, but if he got messed up by something during the massacre so badly that it turned into a phobia, then a trillion years later he either would've encountered the trigger so many times he's become numb to it, or else the trigger would be something so obscure that there's no way he'd just randomly stumble on it where we the audience can see.

Like, in fic I give him an extreme revulsion to having hair; but within a few weeks he's made major progress in training himself out of it.

I don't think the sight of something he's seen on every single person around him everywhere he goes ever since he was born would make him feel disgust. He probably struggles to picture his people without seeing their insides. He may well have a reaction to the sight of gored Euclidean bodies—but from his POV, normal healthy bodies with every organ where it should be are simply what normal Euclideans look like to him.

In the B&N deluxe version of TBOB, he says he hears voices in TV static and a hidden code on the page says "he never sleeps he never dreams but somehow still he hears their screams." I assume that's the reason he has a phobia of TV static.

[imaginarypasta]

i have such a hard time here and it’s because i literally feel like i do not exist. i will be having a conversation with someone and they just stop responding, stop talking (not a natural lull even) and im sitting there like “hello? i just asked you a question.” or we’re talking and they pick up the phone and just start ignoring me, just surfing social media. or they get a phone call and i’m in the middle of the sentence and they just pick up the call and walk away. like no “excuse me.” and i feel horrible being like “these phones” and like “no one has manners” but jesus, i can literally remember the last time i had a conversation where the other person was listening & paying attention and it was almost six months ago

[the-tarot-witch22]

Your life purpose - Pick a pile

Pile 1/ Pile 2/ Pile 3

My Paid Readings | My insta | My year goal post | Give away

Liked my blog or readings? Tip me!

Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!

Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!

How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to! You can choose more than one pile, it just means both pile have messages for you!

I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!

Pile 1:

(The cards I got for you - 8 of wands, ace of pentacles, and the moon)

Okay so the very first thing I feel and heard is you guys are meant to experience new things in your life, to travel the world, or new places, many of you might be travellers or even, if you haven't travelled, then you guys might love to travel or foreign culture might attract you a lot, I also feel this pile has good intuition like they know thigs, sort of psychic or even Deja vu, might happen with you guys, I also feel in this life time, you might and tend to rush things, like you don't like to stay at one place longer than few hours, you need to keep moving or even feel productive, I also feel, in this life time you are meant to be your own person like many of you even have most independent issues, I also feel you are supposed to be financially secure, and if things don't go your way then it will, it just means there are things that needs to be better or you need to be better before you get the result you want, I also feel you are mean to help people, or grow yourself personally and professionally everything i feel for this pile is definitely related to your self, I also wanted to clarify more, but I got the feeling that as you grow, age wise, experience wise , you will figure it out yourself, and i also heard "don't be discourage, with time you will get the things you deserve", when i said people i meant emotionally and financially not like give everything at your own expense but simply means help a little if you can, it will do you good, ifykwim,I also sense a Capricorn , taurus and Sagittarius energy here, sun, moon and rising, anyhow I also feel in this life time you are meant to go through numerous transformations, and find your own path as you move on, i also feel there might be few or many lessons you could have gotten in friendships or if you ever were in relationship, or even your homelife might have taught you a lot. Some of you i need to say might get anxious too, like little things worries you so i have been called to say, just know be calm and be confident, and know that it's not you, it's them. and if it's you then you will get better, and by that i mean problems you might have or had.

Alright pile 1, that's all i got for you, all i wanna say is you guys are going on right path, and believe in yourself a little more!

Pile 2:

(The cards I got for you - The lovers, King of swords, 9 of wands)

Okay so the very first thing i felt and heard is you guys might love, love. or be in love, sort of hopeless romantic i might add lol. But anyhow , let's dive deeper, you know the funniest thing? I feel this group is meant to find their other half in this life time, not saying that's your only purpose, but meeting your person is one of them and really a priority I feel in past life, you might have promised them to meet you again, and i felt goosebumps all over my body, totally unrelated but needed to be said. anyhow i also feel this pile are meant to find themselves, but not as much as their person, i feel there might be a urge of finding someone, and it's not because you are desperate it's because you have promised your person in your previous lifetime, and that is why you feel restless, like a fear of them not fulfilling their promise or you who could not be able to fulfill their promise, and that's a fear i see you feel. I also feel, there might be confusion in taking or making new decision you tend to overanalyse things, don't do that, if you feel your gut is right? go with it! no need to be too scared and live in "what if's", I also feel this group is academically intelligent or if academically average i might say you guys could be very witty, like you always have words ready to say, and god forbid if someone gets on your wrong side, you either cut them off, or show them who they actually messed with. anyways! I also feel you guys are meant to face some transformation in your adult life. There might have had some delays in good things, because universe prepares you first, I also feel check out pile 1 , there might be some messages for you there, I also feel you are meant to balance yourself, emotionally and in your personal life, I also feel one of your purpose is you need to stand up for yourself, to finally know your worth and what you were made for, I also feel there might be some of you who is confused for their career, like you might not like traditional things, do things your way or unconventional, I also feel you are meant to break generational curses, new things or bloodline starts with you, new purpose too!

Alright pile 2, that's all i feel for you guys, but i might say, your future person is coming soon, not gonna lie, they just kept giving me messages me lmao, they do miss you! so don't worry things will work out for you guys~

Pile 3:

(The cards I got for you - 8 of cups, 9 of cups, and the world)

Okay so the very first thing I feel and heard is, you are meant to complete karmic cycles in your life. Let's dive deeper! I also feel this group might have felt and experienced betrayal a lot, like in your friendships or even relationships, it's specific for few of you, but i am getting someone cheated on you? like which gave you lots of trust issues. But anyhow! I feel this group is meant to love themselves and learn how to be alone like not too co dependent or having your happiness and anything dependent on anyone but you, I also feel, this group might isolate themselves a lot, if something hurts them, and they tend to take a lot to recover, I also feel in this life time, you are meant to grow on your own, universe means to tell you that you have everything in your heart , that you find in some place else, so embrace that, even with help of therapy or if not, taking it easy and one at times, I also feel this group is very emotional like, very sensitive, I also heard "heart of gold", so you people are meant to find that purpose on your own and not to take people's harsh words to heart, I also feel you are meant to feel happiness, if you haven't had many happy moments, the i see in future there is so much more for you, i also "heard keep going", "being alone is not a curse but a blessing", right person knows that, I also feel you are meant to use your skills, for good, many of you might be super creative or have good communication skills, but anyhow you are meant to express yourself your voice, not bottle up, let people know how special you are, I also feel you guys are supposed to go through hard time, or have gone through hard times, but don't be scared i feel it's just a small debt you had from past life, and in future you would be much more happier you have ever been!

Okay pile 3 - this is all i got for you, but you know guys you are doing amazing! Take it easy~

Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3

[splatoonpolls]

a really long analysis about fanon Marina and the flanderization by fandom she has gotten

fanon marina (the version created by the fans) mainly focuses on two things, her being autistic coded and her being basically confirmed to be a lesbian. And I do think this has to do with her being VERY much like a typical splatoon fan in many people’s eyes. Her being a nerdy queer neurodivergent person. This is also why other parts, especially her relationship with her being an octoling gets often locked away. Subconsciously at least

if Marina was a book, several chapters would focus on her identity as a dome octoling. Her being autistic would probably pop up here and there, but it wouldn’t be a whole chapter. But her very much gay relationship with Pearl would definitely have a few chapters. But with people focusing on those few lines and chapters rather than the whole book. People would slowly ignore the other chapters, get shocked like Adam Sandler learning Pac-Man was the bad guy in the hit movie pixels.

the splatoon fandom’s western side is mainly white Americans and Europeans. Which is one reason why the fanon Marina doesn’t focus on her identity as an octoling, but also on how many details are not really told to the player. Marina barely shows her ears, which can both be read as her having sensory issues (which is a super valid headcanon(, but also her not feeling super comfortable with her body. With her ears being a reminder of her “you are with people who still think you are only going to steal stuff”. Her tentacles may be weird, she may lack the eyeliner an inkling has. But those things can simply be a stylistic choice. Her ears can’t be one. They are too different. I also know the DLCS focuses more on her identity as a dome octoling. However many can understand how her arc as a whole can be paralleled to the real life experiences of people belonging to marginalized ethnic communities. I also want to point, while writing this. I realized (which many people probably already did). Dome octolings you see outside of the domes (splatoon 2 octolings, Marina, Acht, Paul), are all refugees. They are all characters who grew up in a society that had been shunned for decades, even centuries. That society ended up being oppressive both due to external and internal issues. They know the society they’re living in is no longer a good place to live in. So they escape. Hoping to find a place that will take them on. For agent 8, Marina, and Paul. They found a safe place. Acht wasn’t super lucky however. They were told they could find a “promised land” only to be left in even more ruin before. So not only does Marina’s character arc focus on her being a part of an ethnic minority, but a refugee at that. so why does fanon marina usually avoid that part of her? Well as a mentioned before. Marina has three things that makes her very relatable. While the more backstory focused things are less relatable to a way smaller margin of the splatoon fandom. A way smaller part of the fandom are poc in a very white country. And a very small percentage are refugees.

if we removed Marina’s backstory. We would still be left with the fanon version. A nerdy autistic lesbian who deeply loves Pearl. I love how Nintendo got a game that also isn’t afraid to show a society that cares about queer people if not is queer centric itself. Which is probably why many people cling to that part of Marina. But if we removed that part. What would we be left with? Well, we would have an octoling refugee who is a trained soldier and can create weapons of destructions (and she would still be in love with Pearl, it is an important part of her backstory). im not saying the splatoon fandom’s openness to lgbtq and neurodivergent people is a bad thing just because they boil down one of the most plot heavy characters down to those things. It is actually a really great thing to have a fandom that is open to these marginalized groups.

i just want to say, due to this love for Marina being a character you can relate to. It feels like certain parts of Marina’s character (which can also be very relatable to some) is being drifted away to the more lore centric side of the fandom. Which will lead to a sort of fandom flandarization which is very unintentional and just done due to a love of Marina as a character.

If you’ve read this an disagreed, that is fine. Character writing is a very subjective thing

[ssahotchnerr]

Jack still sort of maintaining a relationship with Roy the first few years after Haley dies (Aaron thought it was important to maintain those connections for Jack even tho it hurt Aaron to do 😭 it was easy with Jess who he loves but SUCKED with Roy) but he gets extremely exclusionary once Ellie is born. Him being like “I will spend time with MY grandson who belonged to MY daughter but I will not be wasting my time, energy, and money on a child you’ve had with another woman. A child who – might I point out – would not have been born if you stayed married to my daughter and didn’t get her killed in the first place.”

Aaron being pissed on Ellie’s behalf (and his feelings are hurt tbh) and you being pissed on both of their behalfs. But, unexpectedly, Hc that Jack overheard this conversation and basically says to Aaron the next time Roy wants to take him somewhere (Aaron didn’t want to make HIM feel bad on top of everything else by banning him from seeing his grandfather, so he was gonna let him go), “I don’t want to spend time with grandpa Roy if he’s gonna be mean to Ellie. Thank you, but I’ll stay here.” SUCH A GOOD BIG BROTHERRRRR you and Aaron are so proud 🥺❤️

OHHH MY GOD??

roy just completely refuses to acknowledge that ellie exists 😭

it happened right from the start: when aaron shared the two of you were expecting, roy brushed it off, muttering something incoherently in response. after she's born, aaron invites him over for family dinners, he refuses to come. he's invited to ellie's first, second, third birthday party, doesn't come. every time he comes over, he acts like he's never seen her before. disregarding her completely.

it becomes very clear very fast that he wants to spend time with jack and jack only. as much as aaron hates to admit it, in a way, he understands. roy's bitter about what happened to haley, so this was somewhat expected. it's a different situation that's hard to navigate - ellie isn't related to him, so if roy doesn't want to bring her along to places, whatever, aaron's not going to force roy to do anything. the issue is what an issue it is. how ellie is being treated.

it's more of a problem when ellie is a bit older, and wants to tag along with jack wherever he goes. she just wants to be included 🥺 sweet ellie simply says hi when roy comes over to pick up jack, he ignores her. the next time, she draws him a picture, and he doesn't accept it.

aaron gently confronts him, and that's when roy brings up haley and how this child is a disgrace to her. imagine he full-on admits he wishes she never existed?? 😭 ellie's a product of what happened to haley, he'll never forgive aaron for getting her killed, so he'll never accept this child's existence. she shouldn't exist.

that angers aaron and he starts going off - ellie is a part of this family, whether you like it or not. and fine, you don't have to love her (saying that SHATTERS aaron's heart) but do not treat her like she's nothing. aaron won't let that stand.

it starts a huge argument 🥺 roy refuses speak to aaron, except when it comes to arranging his time with jack, and the conversation is very short at that. he doesn't speak much to you either (never has). again in his eyes - you're haley's replacement. jack's new "mom"

and it's especially sad because ellie knows about haley too :( - not the story, but the simple, good things: jack has another mommy, she's not here with us anymore but you can talk to her with a candle. haley has never been a avoided topic in the house, she's encouraged. and so ellie loves haley in her own way :( so to call her a disgrace in haley's name?? when she's also keeping haley's memory alive? :((((

you feel awful. you know how hurt aaron is but he doesn't allow himself to show it. he hates talking about it, and he's always in a mood whenever roy's with jack. you feel awful for your daughter who doesn't know what's going on. you feel awful for jack who's taking an unnecessary weight on his shoulders in terms of this too.

ellie's confused and upset, this is the first person who's ever shown her unkindness. aaron gently tries to explain, but also, how do you explain this to a toddler? so he simply apologizes and scoops her up into his arms and holds her close :( he feels awful, and as if he's failing her in someway. this is "his fault", isn't it? 😭

so if roy's taking jack out, aaron or you, or both combined, take ellie out for the day to do something fun. or try to keep jack heading out on the down-low. it sucks, you still both encourage jack to spend time with his grandfather - maintaining that important relationship - even though it's exceedingly complicated behind the scenes.

and jack, being the sweet sensitive kid he is, picks up on the tension immediately. and he's torn 🥺 he wants to appease his grandfather, knows what he's doing isn't right, but also doesn't want to betray his little sister, letting behavior like this continue. he feels guilty :( he takes the initiative and brings it up to roy himself, asking if ellie can come with them someday, like to the zoo or to a movie. but roy's pretty level-headed and his mind is made up - absolutely no ellie.

so jack gets really upset :( he gets home one day and cries about it :((( you're trying to console him, as is aaron (who's close to tears himself), and ellie wanders over :( she gets sad whenever jack is sad :( and while she has no idea what's going on exactly, she just buries herself right up into jack's side as he's crying. to comfort him too 🥺🫶🏻

overall it's a reallyyyy messy situation, one that you can only hope resolves with time :(

[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Practice On Me — Part Thirteen — Azriel x Reader

Summary: Backstreet’s back, ALRIGHT! Or rather, the Bat Boys™️ sort their issues out. Tathaln’s ball is officially announced. Azriel gives Kaeda a piece of his mind. Fin has no business being the sexy dad he is. Roza’s worried about reader.

Word count: 6.3k.

Warnings: None for this part.

All is silent, save for the rhythmic tick-tick-ticking of the clock. Cassian has always hated that clock. Finds it fucking annoying.

But it fills the vacant hole that exists in the absence of conversation. That hole is open and gaping between Cassian and Azriel. It’s not a table that sits between them — it’s a dangerous, yawning chasm.

Az stares at Cass, and Cass feels uncomfortable. He’s seen that cold gaze be levelled on people hundreds of times, thousands. To be on the receiving end feels a little like staring death in the face. He actually kind of wishes that Kaeda hadn’t been sent off to the dorms to sleep off her drunken state, because at least then he wouldn’t be the only one here, being subjected to…this.

So, he stands up, so abruptly that his chair almost topples over, and asks, “Want me to make you some tea?” The question feels stupid the second it leaves his lips.

Azriel’s eyes track him, drink in every uneasy shift and twitch. It’s not that Cass is afraid of Az — though anybody with half a brain cell would be — just that he’s not good in these situations. Situations where he has to be serious and…and listen.

“Cassian.” The shadowsinger’s cold voice stops him before he can move. “When, in our years of friendship, have you ever once made me tea?”

Cass peers over a broad shoulder and shrugs half-heartedly. “First time for everything…”

“Sit.”

The word brooks no room for argument. Cassian does, indeed, sit.

It’s then that Azriel heaves a deep sigh, his entire body taut as a bowstring, and says, “I’m sorry.”

Cass blinks. “What?”

“I’m sorry—for what I did in the mead hall. I…had no right.”

“…But Y/N and I…”

“It’s not for me to dictate whether the two of you should or shouldn’t lie together. My…jealousy…is my problem, and mine alone.”

This is hard, Cassian realises — for Az to say this. For him to face it. And Cass can relate to that. Not everyone can be as silver-tongued as Rhysand. The Mother knows, Cass himself isn’t.

But he also isn’t an idiot. Some people may believe him to be, and that’s their mistake, because being proved wrong is usually the last thing they remember before waking up to a healer standing over them. He’s aware enough of his surroundings to know that something was brewing between Azriel and Y/N for years before Cass took her to bed…or kitchen counter, or…whatever.

“I need to be better,” Cassian offers, “at thinking before I act. Thinking about who I might hurt with my decisions. I’m working on it.”

Az studies his friend, and he feels no anger. If anything, it’s guilt that claws at the shadowsinger. He gave poor Cass a pretty good hiding over something that was, essentially, none of his business. And it could have all been different if Az simply wasn’t a coward, afraid of his feelings.

Something he needs to work on.

And perhaps he’s doing that as, rather than burying the topic, he asks, “What…what actually happened? How did you end up sleeping together? I mean…do you have feelings—”

“No.” Cassian cuts him off, blinking. “Gods, no. I love Y/N, you know that. But not romantically. I just…I felt so damn useless that night, Az. If you’d seen the way Y/N was…the self-loathing. I didn’t know how to help.”

Immediately, Azriel’s brow pinches. “Self-loathing?”

“Because of what her father did to her. When we were flying to Fenlaros, and she was the only one being carried in…”

Azriel slumps back in his chair, feeling like a godsdamned idiot.

He blinks forward and wonders what the fuck the point is in being born a shadowsinger when he obviously can’t read situations very well. Within seconds, it’s clicking into place.

“And then you started that fight with that Fenlarion male,” Cass continued. “and Kaeda just declared that it was her you were fighting over…and everyone has a limit, you know? I think that night was just all too much for Y/N. And she was so upset, so downtrodden…talking about how she hated herself. And I’m not good with words like Rhys is, and I’m not as observant as you are, but I am good at physical touch. Physical comfort. And it seemed like the only thing I could offer in that moment to take that bleakness away from her. But I should have thought about how you would feel—”

“I’m glad you were there for her.” Azriel blurts, realising, with every word, how much he means them. “I wasn’t. I failed her that night.”

“I really didn’t know that the two of you had been exploring things. If I did, I wouldn’t have done it. I mean…that fight you started wasn’t over Kaeda at all, was it?”

Az’s eyes shutter. And it goes against every natural instinct of his to strip himself bare and just…be honest. Every steel wall he’s ever built up is screeching in its effort to stand strong and not be caved in. And those walls were necessary in a life of darkness and hate…but that life is long gone.

What good do those walls do him in an environment where he has love, has people who genuinely care for him? As much as he wants to run and hide from his feelings as he always has…he thinks that the key to happiness may be on the other side of those walls. That a new bravery lays in letting some light filter through the cracks and warm a guarded heart.

His voice is quiet, laced with a self-preserving fear, as he admits, “No. It was not.”

Before Cassian can offer an encouraging response, the front door is swinging open, and Rhysand is kicking snow from his boots and trudging in. Azriel tenses like a threatened animal — but there is no threat here. Only safety, only love. He forces his shoulders to relax.

The violet-eyed male takes in the sight before him. Goes still as he looks between his two friends. “Please tell me this is a positive conversation.”

Cassian inclines his head. “Work in progress. Why don’t you make some tea?”

“Fuck you, make your own tea—”

“Make me some tea—”

“Kiss my ass, dickhole—”

“I’m in love with Y/N.” Azriel blurts.

It promptly shuts the other two males up.

They turn away from their bickering to look at the shadowsinger. He looks…shocked, by his own confession.

“I’m in love with her,” he breathes.

Cass and Rhys share a glance, and then Rhys is slowly approaching the table, carefully taking a seat like he doesn’t want to startle Azriel out of the moment.

“We know, Az.” Rhys tells him gently. “I mean…I think we always suspected…”

“I started that fight in Fenlaros because I was jealous of that damn male having his hands all over her. Saying the things he was saying. It was nothing to do with Kaeda.”

“You should really tell her — Y/N, I mean. Tell her how you feel.”

Azriel’s eyes trace a mark in the table as he admits, “Kind of already have. When she came to speak to me earlier today.”

Another glance is shared between Cassian and Rhys. And both are equally surprised — figure they would have heard something about it. Unless…unless it hadn’t gone down well.

And now that Rhys thinks about it, Y/N had been tense whilst he’d flown her back to Velaris. Taut in his arms and barely uttering a few words. Perhaps this was why.

“Did she…not take it well?” Rhys hedges. He wants to be delicate, not go blasting in at full-force. So rarely do they get to see such a vulnerable side to Az.

Azriel shakes his head once. “It’s not that, it’s…” He clears his throat. “It’s more complicated than that.”

“How?” Cass pushes, and Rhys shoots him a warning glance.

But Azriel doesn’t balk from it, doesn’t slink back in his seat. Instead, he lifts his head, and he levels his friends with a desperate look.

“There’s more that I haven’t told you.” He says.

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A short while later, Az thinks that maybe talking through his feelings is a good thing. Just saying the words has a little bit of weight easing from his chest, his shoulders.

But Cass and Rhys aren’t saying anything at all. Cass and Rhys are staring at him like he has two damn heads.

And then Cassian sits up, barking, “Tathaln Baralas wants what?”

“Exactly what I told you.” Azriel shakes his head. “He wants me to move to Fenlaros and work alongside him. Has some sort of backing from the High Lord, though I’m not sure how much. In a nutshell, Kaeda’s interest in me has always been driven by her father.”

“I knew that little wasp was up to something. You know she tried to kiss me tonight?”

Az shrugs. Really could not give a fuck. “I figured something had happened from the look on your face.”

“I never liked her. Nor her father—”

“Her father,” Rhys cuts in, “walks a very fine line in presuming to exceed in his role as a Camp Lord. His ego and title are going to his head a little, it would seem, if he believes he has the authority to scheme such ideas.”

“It’s a terrible idea.” Cass says. Neither of the other two noticed him get up, but he’s returning to his seat, speaking around a mouthful of food. “All Illyrians in one big camp? They’ll kill each other.”

Rhys is inclined to agree. But he turns a neutral — maybe gentle — expression on Az and asks him, “Do you want to go to Fenlaros?”

It would kill him if Az said yes. Would kill Cass, too. These recent days of being torn apart by tension has been bad enough. Being in different camps and not seeing each other is an almost unbearable thought.

But they would find a way to live with it, if Az decided he wanted to go. They’d find a way to be okay with it.

Such thick silence fills the room that the thudding of all three of their hearts is audible.

But then Azriel replies quietly, “No.”

Neither Rhys nor Cassian bother to hide their relief.

“I told Kaeda I would think about it.” Azriel goes on. “And I told Y/N that I’d promised Kaeda that. But I don’t think I’ve ever really intended to think about it — or needed to. I think…I think I was just using it to bide my time. To create space for myself and…avoid everything else.”

“By everything else,” Cassian chomps into a loaf of bread, “do you mean facing your feelings for Y/N?”

Azriel can’t deny it. He nods. “It’s not an easy thing to face…to be vulnerable. Hiding behind this Fenlaros situation has just been easier. Cowardly, yes, but…easier.”

“You can’t keep pushing her away, though, Az.” Rhys says. “You can’t let her think that you might be leaving if you have no intention of doing so.”

The shadowsinger’s eyes flutter shut, thick, dark lashes grazing his cheekbones. “Do you think I’ve fucked it beyond repair?”

“No.” Cassian offers. “But you will, if you don’t start handling this the right way. Tell Kaeda and Tathaln to fuck off. Tell Y/N you’re in love with her and want to see her naked—”

“Watch it.” Azriel warns quietly, but Cass continues, unperturbed.

“Just start letting more people in. And I’ll stop letting so many people in, because it gets me into trouble. I think…I think we all need to grow up a little. Do better.”

Rhysand’s brow pinches. “What do you mean, we all do? I’ve done nothing other than put my own pleasure aside to advise you idiots. What could I possibly need to do better?”

Cassian shrugs. “That haircut, for one. It’s annoying.”

“And when was the last time your hair saw a comb, Cassian?”

“When was the last time you were generous and made tea for your good, long-suffering friend?”

“So this is about the tea.”

“Of course it’s about the tea, jackass. Zakai clearly isn’t with you for your observational skills…”

Azriel sits back, allowing their bickering to become background noise. There’s a warmth to the sight, the sound, that makes him realise he never again wants a repeat of this situation — of being apart from his friends for days, tension thick between them.

He loves Rhys and Cassian. Loves them dearly.

Another reason why he could never, ever turn his back on this place.

And he finds himself actually being…grateful…that Cass was there for Y/N that night. That she didn’t have to suffer her self-loathing alone.

There’s still a lot to get through, of course. Daunting emotions and truths to face head-on. But as he watches the two loveable idiots in front of him take verbal swipes at each other, it’s the first time in a while that he wonders if things might actually be okay.

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The news is announced the next day, when Lord Devlon gathers a rather colourful bunch of his soldiers in the mead hall and stands at the front, silencing them all with a single shout. Rhys, Cassian and Azriel stand against the far back wall, their arms folded over their chests.

Gods, they hope it’s not another training exercise. Not so soon. Az has things he wants to resolve before he saunters off and possibly gets himself killed.

But Devlon reads the roll of parchment in his hands, a frown contorting his features. He looks up, his eyes very deliberately finding Rhysand as he announces to the room, “A message from the High Lord.”

And every other gaze is then swivelling to turn on Rhys, too. There’s something accusatory about it, like they’re assuming he’s privy to whatever it is their asses have been dragged out of bed to hear.

He isn’t. He wants to be in bed, too.

“Looks like you pricks better get your dancing shoes ready.” Devlon raises his eyebrows. “The High Lord is calling for a ball. Legions from all camps invited.”

This — this is exciting news for the brutish males who could fill the mead hall with their egos alone. Not because they have a particular affinity for dancing, but because amongst themselves, they’re already murmuring about which particular camps they dislike for some reason or other, and what they plan to do about it. So many bloodthirsty streaks are painted in those males’ eyes, stamping out the tiredness that lay there only moments before.

Nothing pricks an Illyrian male’s ears up quite like the prospect of a fight.

“The legions from each camp have been carefully selected, and you lucky fuckers will be representing Windhaven.” The Camp Lord continues, disdain dripping from his voice. He wants his men out there training in the cold, not prancing around a dance floor. “Plus-ones are allowed, also, so it might be time to splash out on a pretty gown for whoever is warming your bed these days. The ball is to be held on Starfall, at a neutral venue of the High Lord’s choosing, and I expect you all to make Windhaven — and me — look good. Any questions?”

“Do we actually have to dance?” One male asks, while another one pipes up with, “Will those pricks from Camp Steelshore be there?”

Rhys shuts out the litany of battling voices as he turns a concerned look on Az and Cass. Their expressions mirror his own. Something about this feels…off.

So while he looks like he’s merely lounging against the wall, hands in his pockets, he sends his inner claws spearing straight for Devlon’s mind. He doesn’t give away what he’s doing, not even slightly, as he roots around in the Camp Lord’s thoughts and grabs for his glimpse of the letter. Rhys scans it, drops the thought, and he’s out of Devlon’s mind and straightening himself up before the male can so much as flinch.

“Let’s go.” He tells his friends, and not Devlon nor the males around them seem to care as Azriel and Cassian follow him, the formidable trio traipsing out into the thawing snow, regardless of whether the meeting is over or not.

They’re halfway back to the house, safely out of earshot, when Cassian finally barks, “A ball? What the fuck?”

“At the request of Tathaln Baralas.” Rhys reveals. “That’s what the letter said. He took the idea to my father, and the asshole is humouring him. This has all got to be part of Tathaln’s plan.”

Cassian scowls and spits his disdain at the ground. “Someone needs to drive a poison arrow through that prick’s heart already. I don’t like this one bit.”

“It’s my father’s intentions I’m worried about.” Rhys shakes his head. “Tathaln only has the power that my father gives him. One word from him and this idea could be snuffed out and never mentioned again. And I expected that to be the case. Arrogant as fuck he may be, but my father isn’t stupid. He’ll know what a terrible idea this is, and I would have predicted that he’d laugh in Tathaln’s face for mentioning it. I didn’t think he’d actually entertain it…which means—”

“There’s something in it for him.” Azriel finishes.

Rhysand nods. “Every single move and choice my father makes is, ultimately, for his own gain. He would never agree to anything if he weren’t getting something out of it himself. Whatever Tathaln has proposed to him…my father will be using it for his own gain.”

Cassian opens the door to the cottage and strides in, forgetting — as always — to kick the snow from his boots. “What, though?” He asks. “What could Tathaln have that your father could want?”

Rhys shrugs and waves a hand, magic promptly mopping up the wet, melting trail left in Cassian’s wake. “That, I don’t know.”

“So what do we do?” Az watches him closely, trying to read the thoughts on the male’s face. His shadows reach out to him, too. “Are you going to talk to your father? Make him see how ridiculous this idea is?”

“No,” Rhys shakes his head. “There would be no point. I could lay a whole host of truths out to my father, and he’d go against them on ego alone. He must want something badly enough for him to be throwing money into it. This ball won’t be cheap.”

“And it won’t be a ball, either.” Cassian cocks an eyebrow. Roots through the kitchen cupboards for food. “Blood will be spilled. And you can’t dance on blood. I’ve tried. Too slippy.”

Rhys chooses to ignore that little scrap of information. Mostly because he doesn’t doubt it for a second. “I don’t want us to pre-empt anything.” He says. “If I go straight to my father with concerns about any of this, it could blow up in our faces, instead. For the time being, I think we should just…go along with it. Watch it play out, and see what happens. My father is unpredictable. Even I can’t tell you what goes on in his head.”

“I can speak with Kaeda.” Az clears his throat. “See if she’ll tell me anything.”

“You have fun with that.” Cassian mumbles, biting into something. “I’d sooner chop my balls off and nail them to the front door.”

“Such a way with words. It’s no wonder, really, that females fall at your feet.”

Cass shoots him a wicked grin. And this…this is nice. What they’ve both missed. This is normal.

“I’ll keep an eye and ear out for anything.” Rhys drags them back to the subject at hand. “But my father’s good at not letting anyone know things until he wants them to know them. And he’s clearly serious about this.”

Cassian swallows. Takes another bite. “And until then? Until we know what he’s even serious about?”

Violet eyes sparkle with mischief, and one side of Rhysand’s lips tips up. “Until then, boys,” he says, “you’d better practice your dancing.”

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Azriel really hopes she’s not there, but sure enough, when he enters his room at the dorms, Kaeda is sitting up in his bed.

It gives him a little bit of satisfaction to see her look…less than perfect, for once. Her hair is knotted, and even the vibrancy of the red shade seems a little dulled. Her skin is sallow, her eyes bleary. He wonders if she’s as miserable as she currently looks.

She beholds him with a strangely coy look, like she’s waiting for him to rip into her. But if she really knew the shadowsinger, she’d know that that is not his style. He does not shout. He rarely fights physically. His danger lies in his quiet voice and icy stare.

Kaeda’s tired eyes fall to the blanket pooled around her waist, and she murmurs, “You’re angry with me.” Her throat bobs with a swallow. “I understand. But I appreciate you putting me to sleep in here when I was in a vulnerable state.”

“I would have done it for anyone.” Az presses his back against the wall, folding his arms. “Don’t let it go to your head.”

The female merely bows her head. Doesn’t bother to argue.

“I have a question.” Azriel then says. “I’d like an answer.”

“I know that Cassian has probably told you about last night, and all I can say is I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed him. I was drunk and upset and I—”

“I don’t care about that.” He really doesn’t, and it shows on his face. “I want to know what your father is playing at by organising an Illyrian ball. I don’t believe for a second that the gesture is an innocent one.”

She glances down again, but Azriel doesn’t buy the coy act for one moment.

“Kaeda.” His voice is laced with warning. “Tell me.”

“It’s just…a ball. A ball to have all camps in one place, so he can get a good look at what each one has to offer. It’s nothing sinister.”

“So, a chance for him to scout more supporters for his cause.”

“He’s trying to make a change, Azriel. A good one—”

“He’s interfering with lives. Tearing families apart.”

“Good results require difficult choices.” Her voice hardens.

The shadowsinger bites out a cold, brusque laugh, turning away from her. “Mother above, he has you trained well.”

There’s movement behind him. Kaeda is kicking the sheets away and pushing to her feet. And she’s…seething.

“You would laugh in the face of somebody trying to make a positive change?” She snaps. “What reason have you to be so arrogant? At least my father is trying to make a difference. All you’re doing is clinging to a miserable life in a miserable place where you don’t even have a family or home of your own—”

“Except that I do.” Azriel rounds on her so quickly that his wing knocks a fragrance bottle off a shelf. “I may not have your riches, and that’s fine, because I have a group of people — a family I made — who love me enough to care whether or not I come home at night. Who want nothing less for me than happiness and contentedness, and not just to use me as a pawn in some convoluted plan that will do more harm than good. I have reason to be in Windhaven, whether it’s miserable or not. I have love here. So much of it. And there’s nothing — not a damn thing — that would make me turn my back on it.”

Something in his impassioned speech clearly hits a nerve with Kaeda. She goes still.

And she looks…small, despite being fairly tall. She looks…insignificant.

Her eyes fill with tears. One spills over and rolls down her cheek as she whispers, “Please, Azriel.”

Azriel says nothing. Stares at her.

“Please.” She takes a step closer. “I’m not above begging. I…” Her voice cracks. “I need this. I need you to say yes—”

“Your father,” he interrupts quietly, “is playing a very dangerous game. And he’s using you to do it.”

“You don’t understand. I…if I can’t give him what he wants, I’m finished. I’ll have no home to go to, nobody on my side.”

“You already have nobody on your side. You’re his daughter and he’s dangling your livelihood over your head and ready to snatch it away if he doesn’t get what he wants. You’re already finished.”

“Please.” She says again. Tears are streaming, now, and she tries fruitlessly to wipe them away. “Please, just…if this is about Y/N—”

“Do not,” he grits out, “bring her into this.”

“She’s already in this. I know that you want her and not me…that you always have…and that’s fine. Bring her to Fenlaros with you, if you must. I’m sure my father could be persuaded on that. But just…please—”

“You’re not listening, Kaeda. This isn’t just about my family. It’s about all the other families that would be separated, ripped apart by your father’s scheming. He’s power hungry. This is just the beginning of a whole host of self-serving plans that will bring him glory — do not doubt that for a second. People like him are never satisfied, and he needs to be stopped. Not encouraged.”

“You’re wrong.” Her voice is so weak, Az isn’t convinced she believes her own words. “He just wants a better future for Illyria—”

“No.” Az levels her with a pointed look. “He wants a better future for himself. I will not play a part in that, and neither will my loved ones.”

“Azriel, please—”

“I will attend your father’s ball, just as Lord Devlon has ordered me to do.” He breezes to the door, not caring that this is his room he’s leaving her behind in. He stops, palm poised on the handle. “But as for delivering a male straight into your father’s den? You better start trying that seduction on somebody else. Because there is nothing that would make me follow you into that camp.”

He leaves without a glance back. And while it sits uncomfortably inside him that he made a female cry…he can’t help feeling like he’s finally doing the right thing.

About time, too.

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This — this is the last thing you ever would have expected of coming to Velaris.

The tonic you’d needed was an extended amount of girl time with Roza. And yet here you are…in the High Lord’s arms.

“This is useless.” You murmur, aware of every single place your body brushes against his. One of his hands is a firm weight on the small of your back, the other clasping yours. “I’m not a natural dancer. Fuck, I’ve never even been to a dance.”

Fin’s mouth tips up at the corners. “There’s that filthy mouth.” His hand lets go of yours, opting to move up to the cut of your jaw, where he allows his thumb to rest on your lower lip. “You,” the pad of it swipes slowly over your mouth, “are going to be exquisite.”

You square your shoulders. Cock a challenging eyebrow. “Is that genuine encouragement, High Lord? Or an order?”

A deep chuckle. Slowly — reluctantly —he lets his hand drop. “Both.”

Flirting with him like this, playing the part of the High Lord’s pet, is a necessary evil. You’re just so surprisingly good at it that you can’t discern whether it’s an affront to him, or to Roza. Or both.

But you can’t deny that you’ve been flattered by his undivided attention this past week. And perhaps he’s been flattered by yours, too.

Mother bless Roza for her undying support. The best you can do for her, right now, is to keep her in the loop. She merely tells you to be careful.

But a week — a week of cosying up to Fin, of breaking through his exterior and appealing yourself to him. You humour him with these dance lessons, with the preposterously expensive shopping trips and dinners, the late night fireside conversations. Anything, everything, to get him to tell you what truth lies behind the excited glint in his eyes whenever he speaks of the ball. To tell you what it is he’s planning.

Perhaps you’re not appealing enough. You are no more aware than anyone else. And that’s really fucking frustrating.

At least your hard work has kept you from thinking about Azriel every five minutes.

Your breath still heaving from your dance efforts, you make your way over to the table of refreshments by the huge, arcing windows that overlook the city. The High Lord’s palace, you have to admit, is a place you might miss once you’re back in Windhaven. You’ve never been one for luxury, never had more than a few things to your name — but the views are what makes you feel like the richest person in all of Prythian. These are not the cold, barren views of your camp, but a place of such vibrancy, it sometimes makes you want to cry. It’s like the setting of a storybook, laid out right before you.

From behind, slow, graceful footsteps sweep across the wooden floor. Fin comes to a stop so closely behind you that his body heat encases you.

Fingertips make contact with your skin, the back of your neck. The sleeveless tunic you wore for your practice now feels like nothing more than a paper towel.

“You have such beautiful skin.” Fin says roughly, and you tense. So far, this week, he’s kept a respectful distance away. Hasn’t put you in any awkward positions.

You pivot under his touch, pressing your back up against the table enough that his hand drops. It’s not entirely for show as you smile apologetically and tell him, “Sorry — scars.”

Such genuine, slicing rage fills his face. The intensity of it almost knocks you breathless.

“I will kill him.” He says the words like a lover’s promise. “With my bare hands, I will kill him for taking your wings.”

He had the power to stop the practice before you were even born. He is very old — over nine-hundred-years — and very powerful. What he says, goes.

And yet…he means it. You can see it. And perhaps you have seen so much unkindness, such brutality, that little scraps of ferocity, of passion, in your defence, make you a blinded fool.

But a part of him — however small — actually cares about you. Enough to mark your abuser for death.

But your father’s blood will soak your hands, and yours only.

You smile up at him, wickedly, cunningly, prettily. “No, you won’t.” You reply. “Because I will do it first.”

And the fury in his stare simmers immediately to a different sort of heat. Your words are a flirtation to him — a cut of raw meat dangled above a hungry, waiting animal. They make him feel something.

“Such a murderous little thing.” His soft laugh caresses your skin. He sounds pleased — impressed. “I like that. I like it a lot.”

“I would hope so. I am to be your special guest at the ball, after all.” A small voice in your head wants to coax him; tell me what you’re planning, tell me what to expect.

But, as always, he steers the conversation away, a vague, mysterious smile on his face. “Do you like it here in Velaris, my murderess?”

“I do, very much so.”

“I can’t help pondering how much you would thrive here. You were made for so much more than Windhaven. Illyria, even.”

A soft, coy smile — one that comes from deep within that part of you that wants the praise, the compliments — that needs them. “Many would disagree with you.”

“Show them to me, and I will twist their minds until they see in you what I do.”

“And what is it you see in me?” A disingenuous little liar. A good actress. A traitor.

Fin leans down, and for one startling, heart-stopping, stomach-lurching moment, you think his mouth might meet yours.

But his lips brush over your cheek in a tender, barely-there caress. He presses a kiss to the skin before retracting. Straightening himself out. The way he slides his hands into his pockets with casual arrogance reminds you so much of Rhys that you miss your friend instantaneously.

“I see beauty that is unappreciated, and intelligence that is underestimated.” Fin says. “And I see a female that I wouldn’t mind having at my side.” His eyes trace you from head to toe. “I wouldn’t mind it at all.”

No response sits on your tongue. You think you might be too surprised by the genuine praise. The fact that the High Lord actually feels some level of affection towards you.

Maybe you’re not so bad at these games.

He turns without waiting for your response, and only when he’s at the door does he make eye contact with you over his shoulder.

“Keep practicing the dancing, my murderess.” He says. “We’ll make a fine pair at that ball.”

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If Roza weren’t so worried, she might laugh at the three expressions of outrage that meet her when she strolls into the cottage.

Rhysand jumps up immediately and demands, “Did you fly here? You’re supposed to be resting.”

Roza merely rolls her eyes and shuts the door behind her. “Don’t get your undergarments in a bunch, Rhysand. I’m pregnant — not on my death bed. The babe is fine.”

Her son does not look convinced. Neither do Azriel or Cassian. As if they’re, like, experts on pregnancy, or something.

“What are you doing here, mother?” Rhys stalks straight to the fire and stokes it. Then straight over to the kitchen to make a hot drink. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes. Mostly.” Roza pauses. “I hope.”

Azriel sits up at that. “Is Y/N alright?”

“She’s fine.” If playing games with the High Lord of the Night Court can be considered fine. Roza eases herself into a seat, and Cassian is promptly propping cushions behind her back. “I want to talk to you about the ball.”

Cass’s lips turn up into a half-smile. “We’ll be on our best behaviour, Roz. Promise.”

“You’d better be. Because I want all three of you looking out for Y/N at that ball, do you hear me?”

The command is a firm one, and yet the three males don’t straighten up at her matriarchal tone like they usually do. Instead, they share a puzzled glance, frowns pinching their features.

“It’s a ball for Illyrian soldiers and their guests of choice.” Rhys explains, carrying a steaming mug over to her. “None of us are bringing her along. Not to that.”

“You may not be.” Roza slides a protective hand over her bump. “But your father is.”

All three males go so preternaturally still, it’s almost frightening.

Rhys bites out, quietly, “What?”

“Your father is taking Y/N to the ball as his special guest. He’s bought her a gown, taught her to dance — he’s serious about this.”

“He can’t.” The shadowsinger’s face is like rolling thunder. “He cannot take her there. All those males—”

“That’s precisely why I’m not attending. He needs someone in my place, and he’s taking Y/N.”

“He can choose someone else.” Azriel’s clipped tone, his panic, is not at all personal to Roza. Usually, he would never speak to her in such a way, but—

But this is Y/N they’re talking about. Y/N in the High Lord’s hands, at a ball with so many Illyrian males, too many Illyrian males.

“Watch your tone, Azriel.” Rhys warns, but Roza is holding up a hand. Because she gets it — the panic.

“I’ve tried telling him to take somebody, anybody, else.” She says. “He’s insistent — absolutely adamant that he wants Y/N.”

“But why?” Cassian frowns.

“I don’t know. I don’t know if his kindness to her is genuine or not.” She shakes her head, absentmindedly stroking her bump. “All I know is that he’s taking Y/N to that ball, and I’m not going to be there. You know, Rhysand, that there is no changing your father’s mind once it’s set. I need the three of you to look out for her.”

Because Y/N is just as much a daughter to Roza as the little girl growing in her belly. They know that.

Rhys inclines his head, reaching out to place a hand over Roza’s. “We will, mother.” He promises. “Whatever game he’s playing…we’ll look after Y/N.”

Roza’s eyes dart to Azriel, to Cassian. “Do you promise?”

“We promise.” Cassian, unfazed as always, grins. “You just focus on the little one, Roz.”

Azriel’s face is grave, but he nods once. “We won’t let her out of our sight.”

Y/N is in good hands with them, Roza knows. She may even be in good hands with Fin, depending on what his true intentions are. Perhaps being at the High Lord’s side is the safest place she can be. It’s an unknown.

But one thing Azriel does know, as he wishes and wishes for this damn ball to just be over already, is that he’s wracked with guilt.

He can’t help feeling like it’s his fault — that his actions, his behaviour, chased Y/N right into a viper’s den.

That he’ll stop at nothing to get her out of it.

pom tags: @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @sirenpearldust @queercodedcharacter @azriels-shadowsinger @ruler-of-hades @demi03 @magicaldragonlady @abrielletargaryen @ralsieq @v3lv3tf0x @achase2002 @feyretopia @hayrunnwr @don’t-feed-the-hipsters @brekkershadowsinger @piceous21 @bloodicka @acourtofinkandpapyrus @riri-is-agirlie @siriusement @4valyries @socmono @azriels-mate123 @acourtofbatboydreams @katherinearcheron @nesemi @lupinswolfsbanes @dreaming-unafraid @dxnniiix @cyrygher @liddyr03 @lmllsl @nightless @teenageeggscissorslawyer @brighterthanlonelythoughts @blitz-fall @maybefoxysouls @mschanand1erbong @juiceboxreads @bangtanbecks @florencemtrash @hyemishii @obixix @thenovarose @meshellexplosionmurder @angzlxna @lissy31xoxo-blog @supernatural99 @positivewitch @art3-m1ss @milfhunter-pdx @bbuckysbeardd @coralseacourt @towhateverend87 @sspookz @bird-on-the-wire33 @morrie-rose @megwan @catscanteleport @sevikas-whore @thickthighs-sadeyes @hihelloitsbooktimeppl

[gay-impressionist]

Hi! I’m starting to learn French and one thing that’s both cool and weird to me is how everything is gendered in a way (referring to someone/whose saying the statement/etc.) and I was wondering how that relates to people who identity as non-binary or gender fluid in France? Are there equivalents to they/them pronouns or neo pronouns in French?

I do plan on doing my own research about this but I figured since I love your blog and you’re really open about different cultural lgbtq+ communities I’d try here first!

That's an awesome question... with a complicated answer lmao. So buckle up and bear with me !

Basically, you can't be non-binary in French. The community found ways to do it but it's not mainstream. Most of the time, they're going to get misgendered or will have to misgender themselves to get understood.

Some things I'm going to list here are not proper French. Actually, they can even be forbidden in some circumstances, according to the law (the use of inclusive language, and more specifically le point médian, was made illegal in schools in 2021 for ex) or simply because your company etc forbids it. So use this wisely, there is a time and place for inclusive language in France.

That said, things have greatly developed over the last two decades. Which was partly because of the queer community and mainly because of feminists, who are tired of the way French erases women. More and more people are using inclusive language, at least in some circumstances and circles (for ex, i wrote my master's thesis in inclusive language and it was accepted bc i was in a leftist faculty). And inclusive language is debated as a serious issue now, which is saying something.

So, how do you use inclusive language in practice?

There are different ways, as it's informal and mostly new. People are still testing new things and trying out various methods. You can stick to one or alternate or mix them up.

Pronouns

Officially, there isn't a gender neutral pronoun. We don't have an equivalent to they. You're either talking about a man or a woman. If it's both, you use masculine pronouns ("masculine trumps feminine" rule). Same thing if you don't know the gender of the person ("masculin générique").

The most common neopronoun is "iel" (plural : iels), which is obviously a contraction of the masculine pronoun "il" and its feminine equivalent "elle". It works for nb folks or to avoid talking about someone's gender or to refer to a group of men and women. So it's equally used by the queer community and feminists.

I'm pretty sure other neopronouns exist but I can't think of any at the top of my head.

Choosing the right words

Sometimes, inclusive language is just about learning to use alternatives.

Instead of using gendered words, you can choose to use gender-neutral words or words "épicènes", aka words which are identical in their feminine and masculine form. For ex, instead of "homme politique" or "femme politique", you can use "personnalité politique". Personnalité is a feminine word but it's actually gender-neutral as you can use it for women and men alike. "Élève" (student) is épicène, as a female student and a male student are both referred to as "élève". Although épicène words as a gender-neutral option only work in their plural form, as you have to choose either a feminine or masculine article for the singular ("les élèves" is inclusive but it can only be "un" or "une" élève).

As good as this method is, it can be quite limitating. Your vocabulary will be drastically reduced and it can be quite hard to master that kind of speech so you can reach the point where you don't have to think everything over for ages before you open your mouth.

With oral French, you can take it a step further by choosing words that sound the same even if they have a different spelling. Ex, friend is "ami" or "amie" but it's pronounced the same way so if you say it out loud, people can't know how you're gendering it (as long as there isn't a gendered article/word with it ofc).

It avoids misgendering people but the downside is that, as masculine is considered neutral in French, people will often think : no gender specified = masculine. Not even because they're sexist or whatever, it's just so ingrained in our brains that it's a knee-jerk reaction.

That's also why most feminists often prefer to use explicitly feminine words when talking about women. For ex, they prefer the word "autrice" to "auteure" (female writer) because the second one sounds the same as its masculine version "auteur". And as previously mentionned, out loud, people will assume by default you're talking about a man. It's a big debate though, lots of women prefer words that sound masculine - going as far as refusing to use feminine words at all! Which sounds cool and gender-bending as fuck but in reality comes from feminine words traditionally seen as less legitimate and serious. Even today, if you look up the word empress "impératrice" in a French dictionary, the first definition that comes up is "wife of an emperor". "Woman ruling a country" comes second. Using a masculine title to refer to women can also be a way to mock them and show they're not welcome (a french deputy got fined in 2014 because he called the female president of the national assembly "Madame le président" and refused to use the feminine title "Madame la présidente").

Recently the tendency and official guidelines have been to feminize words, so I'd say go with that by default, but respect other people's choice if they specify how they want to be called.

Anyway I'm getting off-track but what I meant was that in French, if you avoid talking about gender, you're automatically erasing women (and nb people). So if you want to include everyone, you need to make it obvious.

Inclusivity as a statement

The most common way to make women and men equally visible is the "point médian" rule, which you can also use to refer to non-binary people as it avoids picking a specific gender.

Basically, it means pasting together the masculine and feminine forms of a word and using dots/middle dots/hyphens/parentheses/capital letters to create an inclusive word. For ex, instead of saying acteur (♂️) or actrice (♀️) for actor, you'll write "acteur.ice". For the plural form, there are two schools of thought : either you separate the feminine and masculine form AND the suffix used to signify the plural, or you don't. Aka, "acteur.ice.s" or "acteur.ices". Personally I prefer the second option because less dots makes it easier to read and faster to write, but it's an individual choice, both work.

There are two major downsides to this method : it only works in writing + it isn't doable for every word, as feminine and masculine words can be quite different and pasting them together that way would be unintelligible. Ex, "copain" and "copine" (friend or boyfriend/girlfriend depending on the context) would give something like "cop.ain.ine"...

You can work around that by choosing alternative words (as previously stated!). And it's still a pretty good method, especially as it works for any type of word (adjectives etc). Some people argue that it's hard to read and ugly but personally I think it's just a matter of habit (although it does pose a problem for people using screen readers). Be aware that it is the most controversial version of inclusive writing, as it's the furthest structure from how languages typically work.

If you don't like dots or want an alternative for oral speech, you can also straight up create new words that sound both feminine and masculine, making them gender-neutral. To use the previous example, "copain" and "copine" become "copaine".

Obviously, this only works if it's obvious which words they're based on. I think it's a great way to make French more inclusive but I'd advise against using it with uninitiated people as it would probably confuse them more than anything. This method is still quite niche.

An inclusive, yet binary language

As you've probably figured out, inclusive language remains quite binary in the way we approach it. It's more about making things both masculine and feminine than transcending gender and creating gender-neutral alternatives. Probably because inclusive language was more often a will to stop women from being erased rather than a non-binary friendly gesture.

Which means, there are also some rules that were created to avoid the "masculine trumps feminine rule" but don't allow room for non-binarity at all. I'll still explain them because they're interesting and you might encounter them at some point.

The proximity rule ("règle de proximité") is one of these. It existed in Ancient Greek and Latin but was dropped in Modern French in favor of the masculine trumps feminine rule. Basically, you gender things according to what's closest in the sentence instead of systematically using masculine words to gender a mixed group. For ex, instead of saying "Les hommes et les femmes sont beaux" you say "Les hommes et les femmes sont belles", as the subject "femmes" is closer to the adjective "beau/belle" than "hommes".

Another method is to systematically use both masculine and feminine words (which I personally find excruciating to write and read). Meaning, instead of writing "Les étudiants mangent à la cantine" (students eat at the cafeteria), you'll write "Les étudiantes et les étudiants mangent à la cantine".

This is mainly for the subject of the sentence : adjectives and such are gendered according to the masculine trumps feminine rule. The point is to explicitly include women, not to make the sentence unintelligible or gender-neutral.

When following this method, you also have to pay attention to whether you put the feminine subject first or the masculine. The rule is to follow alphabetical order. For ex, in "l'égalité entre les femmes et les hommes", "femmes" comes first because F comes before H. But in "Les auteurs et les autrices de roman", "auteurs" comes first because E comes before R. Etc.

This method is common as it's the only inclusive language you can get away with, given that it's a valid way of speaking French. It's even mandatory in some situations now, like in job descriptions for the french administration, in the spirit of gender equality.

So, how do I gender a non-binary person?

In short, you can use the pronoun iel + avoid gendered words and/or use the point médian and/or make up new words.

But keep in mind that if you're not talking to someone familiar with these rules, you'll have some explaining to do. And looots of people are still very anti inclusive language, because they're sexist and/or transphobic, ignorant, language purists, etc. A few years ago it was the thing to be angry about for conservatives and anti-feminists so it's still very controversial. But if you're in a trans inclusive queer space or talking with intersectionnal leftists, go for it !

I hope I covered everything (fellow french, don't hesitate to comment!) and didn't put you to sleep lmao. If you want to see some examples, you can look it up on Wikipedia or check #bagaitte on tumblr (it's the french queer tag) 😉

[alexanderwales]

Person 1: You know when you think about it, Batman could stop a lot more crime by donating to charity. Person 2: Gee, I don't know, maybe it's a comic book? Get some media literacy.

I have seen this argument a few times now, specifically with this claim that this is "poor media literacy", and I find it really frustrating, because that's not what media literacy is. Reading a work in the way it is meant to be read is like ... basement level foundational stuff, but it's not the only way to read a work. I think it's good and worthwhile to understand what we're meant be getting from the work. That's just where we start from though.

Reading a work in a different way from the intended one is also a super important part of media literacy. What assumptions is the work making about the world? What fantasy is it appealing to? How does this fantasy intersect with the real world? What are the contradictions inherent to the work? What complex issues are we poking at the edges of?

Here's how I'd like the conversation to go:

Person 1: You know when you think about it, Batman could stop a lot more crime by donating to charity. Person 2: I don't think that would fulfill the fantasy that Batman provides. Person 1: Maybe, at its core, the fantasy is a bad one. Person 2: In some incarnations Batman is very restrained, and never gives anyone any injuries, never kills, puts the bad guys away but in a prison that offers rehabilitation. Person 1: I think even that variant is also a fantasy, and Arkham Asylum being a revolving door points to a particular view of rehabilitation, one that's negative. Person 2: Not universally. There have been a few stand-out episodes that are about these super criminals coming out and having to grapple with a lack of support structure, which is one of the things that leads them right back into a life of crime. How do you stay on the straight-and-narrow when no one will hire you, when all your old friends are criminals, when all your skills are crime-related? Person 1: And that's a support structure that you think Batman should provide? Person 2: Well, in those episodes the point is interrogating the real-world social problem of reoffenders and recidivism, so it would undercut the story if Batman came in and fixed the problem before it became a problem. Unless it's a fantasy of using money to help people. Person 1: There's also the question of corruption, which is a running theme through the franchise. Gotham City is depicted as deeply broken, with corrupt cops, paid-off politicians, and institutional decay. Person 2: Which brings us back to fixing those things, and why fixing them is usually not a part of the story. The stories are generally simple, rather than complex. We like simple things, and a comic book isn't the best place to try to tear apart the how and why of corruption. The fantasy is that if we had power, we could simply use our power to stop bad things. Person 1: Which is true, in a sense, isn't it? I mean there are times and places when everyone knows who the worst people in a community are, when there's this constant thorn in your side, and there's just no way to do anything about it. Person 2: Someone peddling drugs on the corner, gangsters going around strapped, the asshole who keeps stirring things up. Sure. Person 1: So there's this gap in society, sometimes, a problem that doesn't necessarily have a solution, and the comics are, in part, a way to fulfill that need. Person 2: And also a bunch of stuff about the nature of fear, the strangeness of identity, legacy and family, order and chaos ... Person 1: It's complex. Hey, sorry about earlier when I said you should get some media literacy. Person 2: Yeah, it's fine, I was just struck by the thought, this way that there's this tension there. Person 1: I mean, to be fair, in some continuities Batman does give to charities and supports criminals after they get out of jail and does all this other stuff that people say he should do. Person 2: But it never changes anything. I mean, the two examples I'm thinking of are Harley Quinn, who becomes an anti-hero more than a hero, and the guy that controls Scarface. Maybe that second one is a good example. But it's not a central example of how the franchise handles its villains, it's definitely an oddity. Person 1: A lot of it is just how comics are, and I don't mean as a deliberate fantasy, I mean ... the narrative just keeps going, and there's always pressure to bring back fan favorites, so the status quo has to keep going, and this runs against any kind of reform or rehabilitation narrative, both for the villains and the city itself. Person 2: Which I guess you wouldn't argue is intentional. Person 1: No, it's a bug, not a feature. But it's a very different way in which the question of why Batman doesn't give to charity has an answer.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi Miss Raven! I was reading your opinions about Leona and wanted to ask you, do you think Leona would be a better king than Falena?

[Referencing this post!]

Put simply, no--but not for the reasons you're probably thinking. Hey now, hold on! Put down your pitchforks and torches! Please at least hear what I have to say and consider it.

It's not that I think that Leona is incompetent or that I think Falena is sufficient as a king. It's that ruling (especially as a monarch that has a LOT of power and control) is very nuanced and to say that one person would be "better" than another is grossly glossing over all that goes into governance.

This post gets quite long, so I've placed all my thoughts under the cut. Again, I ask that you read the whole post before commenting.

First of all, the baseline we're comparing to is Falena so let's review what we know about him that's relevant to this discussion. Leona describes Falena as someone who has a "carefree attitude". Because of this, Leona worries that Falena will "run [their] kingdom into the ground." Now something I want to make clear: "[running their] kingdom into the ground" is very harsh wording used ONLY in EN. In JP, Leona is much more casual with his phrasing. He simply expresses that he is "worried about the country's future", not that he thinks Falena will ruin it:

In the book 2 post-OB flashback sequence, Leona implies that his older brother can sing and nap but still be guaranteed the crown because of Falena being first-born. Falena is noted as holding a ceremony in honor of his son's birth; he had commissioned for a fountain to be built (even though water is a scarce resource in their land) and unveiled in their capital—an occasion which Leona skipped. He refers to the ceremony as a "self-indulgent party where you show off your son to the people." This characterizes Falena as a jovial and excessive person who doesn't think too deeply about policies. Another example of this comes from Leona's Birthday Boy vignettes, in which Falena sends his younger brother an expensive rug. "In the time he spends sending me gifts I don't even want, he could be sending rugs to neighboring lands and bolstering our foreign relations," Leona says. "Of course, the thought never even crosses his mind." One of the Sunset Savnna’s driving philosophies is “hakuna matata”, which, as Leona describes it, means, “don’t think too hard about things”. And indeed, if Falena is anything like how Leona says he is, then he is the walking embodiment of their country and their beliefs.

One major issue that is unique to their homeland is that of unification. The Sunset Savanna boasts many different kinds of beastmen, each with their own customs and cultures--and because of that, these beastmen tend to live in settlements of just their own kind and don't always get along or see eye-to-eye with others. For example, it is said that very few bird beastmen reside in the capital city and Ruggie has implied that hyenas are low in the social hierarchy. Kifaji, the grand chamberlain, confides that the acting king Falena has struggled with this unification. The Kingscholars' father has communicated that he would like for nothing more than Leona to lend his assistance to Falena for this endeavor. (Keep this in mind, as I will be touching upon this again later!)

What I think many people tend to overlook when it comes to Falena's rule is that he has not been in power for a long time. According to Tamashina Mina, Falena has only been running the country for "the last few years", which is NOT that long. Falena has not even had that much experience as the official head of state to begin with--and yeah, you could argue that he has been preparing his whole life to eventually become the ruler, training for it and actually doing it are very different beasts. No amount of tutoring will prepare you for having the weight of an entire nation suddenly on your shoulders. I would also argue that anyone that is new to a job won't do the best right away and that experience is the best teacher. Falena is likely still learning while on the job and trying to do his best while also juggling being a parent and husband, trying to reach across the aisle to his estranged younger brother, and looking after his ill father.

This leads me to another point: a lot of what we hear about Falena is coming from Leona's perspective, which is very biased (especially in the post-OB flashback, as this was when Leona was at his most bitter). We should be aware of this while taking in the information Leona is offering. I don't doubt that Leona's telling the truth about how his brother is carefree or the things his brother has done, but at the same time we need to realize that this is a limited view of Falena. It's not the whole picture of who he is. Leona tends to focus on his brother's shortcomings and downfalls--but thinking about it, what are Falena's strengths?

Well, one of them is definitely that Falena is friendly, kind-hearted, and honest. Even Leona confesses to this. However, he frames these traits in a negative way, stating that "[Falena] could just focus on the kingdom's affairs--you know, his JOB--but nooo, he's gotta be the caring big brother who's nice to everybody," and, of his honesty, "he just makes things harder for himself." Falena also seems to be positive and insightful--admirable qualities in a leader. When Leona speaks rudely to him, Falena tries to reassure his little brother: "You may never become king, but you are still wise. There is much you could do for this country." He even pursues Leona when he leaves, trying to get his little brother to see reason. Falena sees the potential in Leona and he wants Leona to realize that potential too. If you look at this another way, this personality can be a boon. It could make it easier for Falena to smooth over tensions and get other political figures to open up to him, similar to how Kalim’s empathy helps to uplift and support his dorm mates and how those dorm mates in return give him their loyalty.

Finally, we know that Falena is cognizant of the culture and the values of the Sunset Savanna and likely works in accordance with those. If we revisit Tamashina Mina, Leona talks at length about how some areas of the country are so underdeveloped that its people are still drinking rainwater or from wells. He laments the situation and says that if only they improved their infrastructure and mined the valuable ore their country has, the people would be able to live better lives. Leona here leans pro-industrialization. From the lack of industrialization we see in large parts of the country, we can assume that Falena does not have this same stance. Rather, Falena understands that the people of the Sunset Savanna cherish living in harmony with nature and want to honor their animal ancestors by living in a way that is sustainable He KNOWS that their people would be against industrialization, and so he favors slower development (Sunrise City being one of these metropolises that developed under the rule of their father) and in ways which preserve nature. As Lilia puts it, “Developing is easy. You just throw money at it. But building a city like this, while still preserving nature? That’s the real challenge, I’d say.” (That was a very quick summary but if you're interested in reading more about this topic specifically, I'd recommend this post!)

Falena cares about tradition and upholding it, and there isn’t inherently an issue with that. He values where he comes from and the practices that come with that. That’s why Falena gets upset with Leona for not doing his duties and skipping out on important meetings. It’s not purely that Falena sees these acts as disrespectful (although let’s be clear, it is disrespectful), but it also comes with the sadness of knowing that his younger brother doesn’t see the value in the same things he does—yet he still understands that Leona has his own strengths that be brings to the table.

You can see how this could translate into his ruling style too, even if it is not explicitly stated in the game. Falena is someone who is easy to approach with your problems (let's assume that this is the case both for his own people and for diplomats of other countries). He is someone who cares about tending to everyone, which would make him popular with the public--but that means he may spread himself or their resources too thin. Falena is also for slower progress in order to respect the ways of their culture and their people's values. He sees value in hearing others out and working in teams, even pleads with Leona to join his bureaucracy. But the point is, Falena cares, and all Leona sees in that is a bleeding heart since it doesn't produce what Leona thinks are good results.

And speaking of Leona, it's about time we get to him. What are his qualifications in a situation where he was king? What would his ruling style be like, and who would it serve his country?

Firstly, it's worthwhile to compare Leona's thinking to Falena's. Unlike his older brother, Leona is proactive--he plans ahead and considers the political power in something as simple as gifting an item. Many of the ideas he proposes for bettering his country are things that Falena either never thought of (ie gifting the rug to another country instead of to him; Falena sees spelldrive/magift as a national sport but Leona thinks they can drive up tourism with an elite team for the world league) or would refuse to implement out of principle (speedrunning mining operations). However, it's undeniable that Leona's methods would produce results. As he demonstrates to us with his shady tactics in books 2 and 3, it does not matter to Leona what he has to do in order to achieve what he desires. His eyes are set on the goal, not on how he gets there (though he will plan the steps out meticulously as well). He's willing to tear up the environment if it means enriching the Sunset Savanna's economy and providing clean, consistent drinking water for the citizens. It's ultimately gains, but it jeopardizes maintaining harmony with nature. This would earn him genuine ire from his people (and honestly, disliking someone for blatantly disregarding your beliefs is valid; it's not blindly being petty or hating Leona for being the "lowly second born"). But!! Leona as of book 7 says he is going to intern at a mining and energy lab in his home country. This implies that he is willing to learn about the field and may use that knowledge to enact sustainable change. This is a really good start to his development and growth into a wise leader.

The brothers' personalities are also not alike at all. Leona is... admittedly far more abrasive that Falena. I'm not saying that Leona would behave so rudely to politicians or on a global stage (please, the man has more tact than that), but he would carry himself very differently than Falena. Leona can be polite and speak fancily all he wants, but he still does not have that same approachable warmth to him. Something else we should consider is that... well, Leona doesn't like stuffy occasions or putting on airs, which would basically be expected of him as king. We don't know for sure how he would act if the circumstances ask that he be cordial and yet the man himself detests such a thing. He could play the part if needed, sure. But for how long before he becomes annoyed or tired of it? Leona can also be arrogant and demanding. Do you think he would skip/sleep through meetings with advisors he deems irrelevant or unproductive? (Recall how he skips ceremonies and traditions he deems unimportant or boring, like the celebration of Cheka’s birth and tries to cheat his way out of his responsibilities as Captain of the Sunset Warriors. He also skips classes, deeming school largely unnecessary for him because he thinks he already knows everything.) How do you think he'd act with people who oppose him? Would he defy traditions? He also disregards the “hakuna matata” mantra and cynically labels it “self-serving”. I could see how tensions could rise as a result. (Reminder that I'm not saying it's for CERTAIN that Leona would do these things, I'm just posing possibilities based on what I understand of his character and whether you believe Leona would act like this or not is up to you.) Leona is 10 years younger than Falena and has never formally served in a governmental position. This means that he, too, lacks the political experience to be king. Some would say that where Leona makes up for this is in life experiences. He has been downtrodden and defeated, mingled among the common folk, etc. This means Leona is better equipped to understand the plight of his people, they argue. And I can see where people are coming from--but personally, I think Leona still lacks what he needs to be a "better" ruler. Yes, Leona has lived "out there", but the fact remains that Falena still has 10 years on him. What's more is that Leona has not actually strayed that far from his privileged life. He's dorm leader (a position of power within NRC), attends an elite magic school, and constantly has Ruggie taking care of him. I don't think this really prepares him to rule a whole country.

That's a good segway into Leona and his leadership. As I've mentioned before, Falena is having trouble with enacting national policies to unite all beastmen. Leona does not appear to have the same issue, as even though there is a variety of beastmen within Savanaclaw, they all defer to Leona the same. Therefore, Leona, as king, could easily resolve this problem in the Sunset Savanna--so the theory goes. As for me, well... In my opinion, I do think it's a show of skill that Leona can get many different beastmen rallying under his flag but I don't think this generalizes to (again) the scale of an entire nation. Not only do we have to account for WAY more people, but also people of demographics that differ wildly from Savanaclaw. The mobs under Leona follow him, yes--but thinking about it, they're all VERY similar demographics-wise. They're roughly the same age, all male, all students, and have the same goals in mind (for book 2, it was to be noticed by talent scouts). I would bet that most of them are from middle class or upper-class incomes too. Now expand the scope to a country. Do you think Leona could appeal to young and old? Male and female? Rich and poor? People of all occupations? What about parents? There are so many other factors to account for, so I don't think it's fair to generalize Leona leading a dorm of maybe 85ish (this is just a guess; NRC has ~800 total students, 600 are on-campus and split across 7 dorms so this assumes equal splitting) to a diverse kingdom of thousands. We also have to consider that the rules that govern NRC don’t translate to the real world. At NRC, power and individualism is what is valued—both of which Leona has in spades. Are those same things valued in his kingdom? No, be is feared for his power and can’t realistically accomplish the things he wants to on his own.

I want to point out another glaring weakness of Leona's: because of his pride, he has trouble sharing power. While Falena is okay with working with others, Leona hates to be challenged. He doesn't have a vice dorm leader because he doesn't want to butt heads with someone else about how to rule. He shuts down Epel, who asks him about strength training and tells him to focus on speed instead, because that's what Leona sees as Epel's best asset. He scoffs at the idea of listening to individual complaints and thinks there would be a more efficient way of handling them. Leona generally lacks his brother's empathy and would rather maximize efficiency by allowing himself to be the only one calling the shots. We get a glimpse of Leona relinquishing his power as dorm leader to Ruggie in book 6, but that's only because Leona physically cannot be present to rule. This could be an exception, or just the first step in Leona shifting to adapt to working in a team.

If Falena were to abdicate the throne to Leona right this second, no, I don't think Leona would be fit to be king. Leona's ideas seem "good" on a surface level, but that's ignoring the long-term impacts and his less-than-stellar personality quirks. He has a ton that he has to learn before he can comfortably govern. At the same time, Falena isn't exactly a perfect ruler either. He, too, lacks experience and can be short-sighted and naive in spite of his good intentions and willingness to hear everyone out.

In an AU where Leona was actually the crown prince (and thus never got talked down to or treated like the “lesser” second born), maybe things would be different. But then that creates the same issue with Falena (now the scorned younger prince) being the "Leona" of the AU.

Each Kingscholar brother has his own strengths and weaknesses, perspectives, and leadership styles. THIS DOES NOT MAKE ONE SUPERIOR OR "BETTER" THAN THE OTHER. Instead, they make up for one another's deficits or flaws, creating a more well-rounded and unified view. This is, perhaps, why both Falena and their father want Leona to step in and help with ruling the country. I think they all see the benefit that Leona could provide and that they value his thoughts.

The "best" situation for the Sunset Savanna, in my opinion, would be Leona and Falena working together to see the country's future through. It does not have to be in the capacity of king and advisor; titles do not matter here. What is most important is that Leona and Falena can meet on neutral grounds and agree to put their all into improving the Sunset Savanna.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Hi ;) I really like your works!!!! But I'm craving for II (really). So I would be glad if you would write something very sweet related to him. For example, inside the mind of II: how he secretly cares about reader more than she know.

All of the small things that you do

He is super attentive but as I have said before I think he’s more of a do not tell guy. So if he is doing something for you you would never catch him going “Yeah… well I did that or this for you”. He just does it. It’s second nature for him. And the range is wild because he loves to look after you.

So we could go from house chores. While it usually flows dynamically, there are parts that you had split and it worked just fine for you two. There are times when ii can tell that you are not in the right mindset to worry about a dirty bathroom or laundry. So he’s ticking your to-do list off for you. Sorting out your product for you on your side of the sink. Ones you had left scattered in the morning. By now more than aware of how you placed them. That’s also the time he looks through your product. Taking pictures of the ones that were running low so that he could simply show the picture and get the right thing.

“I think I’m tripping”, you would step out of the bathroom making ii lift his head from the wordle game he was playing. “I swear this morning the tub was almost empty”, you lift your moisturizer, holding the towel wrapped around your body with the other. “Am I tripping?”, you ask and ii can see the weight of the day still making your brain turn. “I grabbed it for you while I was out with the boys today”, he says so casually and you can’t help but look at him for a heartbeat. “You… you went to the makeup shop with the boys?”, you ask making ii shoot you one of his signature glares. “Yeah? Is there an issue we were in the area anyway”, he shrugged, “The lady recommended iii olaplex for his hair”, you can’t help but snort slightly at that, sitting down on the bed before leaning in to kiss your boyfriend, “you didn’t have to”. “I didn’t but I wanted to”, he cups your cheeks, squeezing them, “Put it on and come to bed”.

I can also see him packing lunch for you the night before. Idk tell me you can’t see him with a towel thrown over his shoulder, chopping up some vegetables for a salad. Cause I sure can. And the little sticky notes would probably make an appearance. A whole cheesy ass “Can I get a smile? Here we go, now that’s my pretty baby”. Would he ever admit to it? No. He’s not mushy and lovesick what do you mean? But his heart never fails to skip a beat when you end up sending him a pic of you holding the note and smiling at the camera.

Whatever he does, ii never expect praise or anything in return. It comes naturally. If he can make your life easier why wouldn’t he? But there are nights when you just end up staring at him. Thinking of all the ways he showed up for you throughout the day. “What is it?”, II would shift slightly taking his eyes off the screen. You just shake your head continuing to look at him. “Why are you looking at me like that?”, wrapping his arm tighter around your shoulder he would let his gaze linger on you. “Just thinking of how much I love you”, you mutter, watching how the look in his eyes shifts even if his face stays the same. “Are you now?”, “Yeah, I wonder if you know just how much I love you”, you shrug, letting your fingers trail over his jaw. “I know that you love me, darling”, ii reassured you, letting his fingers tangle into your hair. “But do you know how much?”, he can’t help but let out a slight chuckle before muttering, “The question is if you know just how much I love you in return”.

[deathbxnny]

helloo, platonic aventurine, sunday and jing yuan with a teen!reader like ai hoshino?

(reader is a talented and captivating idol/singer, but outside of their idol persona they are sort of empty, trying to understand love and often doing self-destructive things while doing so)

Hey there, Anon! Thank you for your request, and I'm sorry this took so long! Life sucks as usual, lol. Anyways, I hope you'll like this!<33

Content: Hurt/comfort, angst, platonic relationships, potential mentions of depression and themes surrounding that, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!!

((Not proofread))

》SUNDAY

Sunday already knew alot about the life of an idol through his own sister being one. But this also meant that he could look right through you with ease. Hiding your true feelings from him was impossible, but that also meant that he wouldn't confront you about it immideately. He simply observes your downfall in this suffocating and fast lifestyle before finally pulling you aside to see what the real issue is.

He sympathises with you deeply, mainly due to your young age and him knowing how hard it is to uphold a perfect appearance all the time. He keeps an eye on you closely, not letting you drown in your self-destructive methods, no matter how hard you fight him on the matter. He knows there is only just so much you can take before you break completely, after all.

Sunday eventually forces you to take a break from everything, where he takes you under his wing and essentially nurses you back into a healthy mental space. Whether he uses his abilities or not is really up to how well you respond to this, but he won't let you return to your life as an idol until he's convinced of your improvement.

》AVENTURINE

Aventurine could also easily see through your facade, mainly because, in a way, he very much related to you. You were young, forced into this fast life as an idol that seemed to only spiral downwards until you were barely able to keep up your perfectly strained smile. He understood you. He really did, which is why he wanted to help you in the first place. But he knew it wouldn't be an easy task at all.

You were hellbent on concealing your self-destructive ways, the question of what truly meant and felt like always hanging over your head, heavy on your young shoulders. He'd reach his hand out for you, offering to help you out of this hole life has unfairly dug for you, promising that it won't hurt your idol life. Unless escaping is what you wanted.

He becomes somewhat of a mentor/big brother figure to you, someone you can come to when the days get too dark and you need a bit of light to guide you back to the exit. He knows that with time, you'd eventually be able to deal with things on your own. But for now, he'll be there for you, just the way he wished someone would've been there for him all those years ago.

》JING YUAN

Jing Yuan is rather sly, yet at the same time, very stern with his approach to your obvious self-destructive demise. He knew from the start that your life as an idol would be plagued with uncertainties and sadness that a young teen like you could never handle on your own for long. But he waits for you to come to him first, like you knew you could. He didn't want to assume wrong and anger you, after all.

He doesn't have to wait for long, however, as you eventually break and come to him with the near ashamed plea of wanting to take a break and get help from everything that has been plaguing your young mind. The life of an idol wasn't easy, and he knew that, which is why he simply obliged and announced to the Luofu that you'd be taking an indefinite break from everything. Your happy-go-lucky attitude had been completely demolished by then, the guilt killing you, and yet he still didn't let you slip through his fingers and sink any further.

It doesn't matter how long it takes. You'll eventually come back to singing in much better health than ever before one way or another, him cheering you on quietly with a content smile from afar.

Alright, Anon... I'm sorry if this isn't good, I've been super busy with everything lately, so I hope this is alright!! Thank you again for the request!!<33

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

if you ever did an in-depth post about ‘you need to calm down’ i would love to see it because that is my most-hated taylor swift song. like why are you comparing your beef with katy perry to homophobia 😭😭😭

As a lesbian- I have a lot of feelings pent up about "You Need to Calm Down" and all of them are negative.

At the songs core- Swift is showing herself to be horribly ignorant. Are we really all going to accept her propping up the idea that homophobia is the same as having a public disagreement with another celebrity? Not only is she negating the power dynamics that often exist within the propagation of homophobia, by insinuating that homophobia is the same as a disagreement between equals in society, but she is also trivializing it down to a simple disagreement over career related bullshit.

Not to mention that she is NOT an ally- I cannot stand the people who think she is a left-leaning, feminist, LGBT advocate. It's like they have created a fanfiction concept of Taylor Swift in their heads.

She profits off the LGBT community when it is most beneficial- but when legitimate rights are being stripped away, she is silent.

Taylor Swift is really good at commodifying social trends without actually risking anything. She waits until it is safe- then pretends to speak up for people's rights, when, in reality, she is just finally able to turn the social trend into part of her brand. Therefore, she gave a stupid line in the song "Welcome to New York" (2014) about how New York City is somehow a utopia of gay freedom (not true but whatever), and then in "You Need to Calm Down" she was profiting off the excess of emotion and democratic enterprising seeping off the US Election cycle.

Her first use of this profit-first tacit happened in 2014- what happened in 2015? The US supreme court legalized same-sex marriage. Swift simply saw the social trend- and captialized off a topic about which the youth were passionate.

The second time, in "You Need to Calm Down" she published this song in 2019- firmly within her faux activist era, and well-aware that the youth were interested in politics. This was right before the 2020 US election- she once again saw the increase of young people paying attention to the ideological split within the country- bearing in mind her target audience skews young, progressive, and American, she pounced on the opportunity to capitalize off their impulse towards supporting ideological-progressive media. As we all geared up to vote down the conservative-leaning Donald Trump, who aligned himself with right-wing religious ideologies standing to threaten the previous supreme court decision on Same-Sex rights, Swift swoops in with a silly pop-beat and a fake country accent to pretend she is the savior of the young and gay.

If it wasn't so shady- it would be a brillant use of rhetorical analysis to sell product. Capitalism has made a cynic of me- I fear.

Swift saw the fear of young LGBT people- during an election cycle-and decided to profit off that fear not through distancing herself from them, but by pretending to care. Notice, again, how she only mentioned gay rights during these very specific cultural conditions which allow her to somehow make a profit off ideologically aligning herself with one side of an issue or another.

Personally, I find fake care even more heinous than outright hatred.

Once again- in this current year she is using the endorsement of a US presidential candidate to further her own brand and try to re-affirm her place within the general rhetorical circles of "progressive and therefore morally upstanding individual" to the youth.

It's all a calculated move to shake-off whatever negative press she got through her associations with right-wing Footballers and keep her prime audience of young Americans.

I have much more to say on this topic- but for now, this is where I leave you. I have to go eat lunch.

[allthecanadianpolitics]

Hey, I know this isn't your normal content so feel free to not respond, but what's your opinion on the "socialization" issue (as in trans men are socialized as woman and trans woman are socialized as men before transitioning and it effects their personality) ? Recently I've seen a bunch of posts saying it's a bad thing to acknowledge. Like trans men and woman saying people who bring it up are trans misogynists. But personally, as a trans man with many trans fem friends I feel it's an important thing to see. In my view of things it's a larger part of sexism and what children are taught. By saying a trans woman was "socialized" as a man when she was a child I don't mean she was raised with a bunch of privileges. I'm often referring to what could be very traumatic and is a brand of trauma I probably can't relate to. Most trans woman I know where forcibly excluded from learning how to cook or clean even if they wanted to because those aren't "manly chores" and where not taught how to keep themselves safe the same way cis woman are. Or in the experience of my friends even beaten for wanting to do feminine things, not just by parents but also by peers. Where as most of the trans men I know can cook and clean like no ones business but no one taught them how to fix a sink or their car or how basic financing worked and they got hit for asking about it because "that's not a woman's place". And although I fully believe all children should be taught how to do all these things so they can take care of themselves, I am also aware that's not the society we currently live in and most trans men need help learning how to navigate things like not talking over woman (they're so used to having to scream to be heard) and how to fix a financial or household issue while alot of trans woman need their girlfriends to explain to them that they can't walk down a dimly lit street with their headphones covering both their ears. Idk maybe I'm just misunderstanding the whole thing but I think acknowledging socialization Is simply a step in learning how to take care of yourself and keep yourself safe in a world that didn't think you needed that info

I think there's some value as a way to understand the way that each gender was raised and the way gender roles are reinforced, but even so you can say I was 'socialized as a man' as I am a Trans Woman, but at the same time, I never really acted much like a man because the more I was socialized to act like a man, the more I gravitated towards feminine things that didn't cause me dysphoria.

I have a completely different lived experience growing up compared to a Cis man, even when I wasn't aware I was Trans.

I did have to do a lot of unlearning toxic masculine things and needing to learn essential feminine things as I came out and started living for myself and my gender expression, but a lot of the things that people say I was socialized as a man to, I just never did because they made me extremely uncomfortable. Its because I was never a man.

You can try to socialize a Trans person to act against their gender identity but a lot of the time, those gender roles just do not get enforced, because they're so toxic to your sense of self.

[amoristt]

take me back to eden

「 ✦ seong gi-hun / reader ✦ 」

tags: nsfw // jealous gi-hun, thigh-fucking if u squint, exhibitionism?? i think??, very very very light angst cuz im emo like that a/n: no titles we use metal songs like men original request (x)

Twitching skin, excitement lying under the stones of your mind, fingers that can’t seem to hold you tight enough. You wish you could face him, bury your face in his chest and drag the tips of your fingers up and down the length of his body just to summon goosebumps in their wake but he’s got you on your side instead. Almost intentionally so, just to keep you in place as he took his sweet time. 

You haven’t always been so impatient, but he drove it out of you. To get back at you, you think.

Your back is so flush against his chest that you can feel his every shaky inhale and exhale. One arm remains tucked underneath the cradle of your neck, the other draped over your waist so his broad hands could splay over your cunt and drag languidly through your folds. He’s trying to be coy- you can feel the way he smiles into the back of your neck every time your hips try to leap into his touch. And maybe you’d believe it, too, if not for one damning piece of evidence that said otherwise. 

Tucked between your thighs lies his cock, so hard that every time you give him a squeeze his breath hitches in his throat before he’s burying his face in your hair and groaning. You can tell he wants to rut into the feeling of you, the soft skin of your thighs a heaven sent, but he’s got enough brain power to understand the slightest noise could alert someone of your activities. He couldn’t risk that after he’d been so discreet, so silent from the moment you’d laid beside him and first ground your hips into his own until he was nothing but putty in your hands. Silent when you’d let him run his hands under your tracksuit and caress your chest, silent when you’d shimmied your pants down around your thighs and he slid himself in between the supple flesh. 

And to think it all started because the man was jealous. A player you didn’t even bother remembering the number of had given you their portion of their dinner, something about the food always giving them stomach pains. Or maybe it was allergy related? You really didn’t care to remember that, either. All you did care about was the fact that your stomach was doubly as full as it could have been and you didn't even have to swindle for it.

Now, that harmless little interaction alone wouldn’t have been an issue. The problem was that Gi-hun had already offered you his only moments before, wanting to ensure you felt your best the next coming games. He was always sweet like that, always looking out for you. You turned him down, but gratefully accepted a competitor's meal. He took it personally, not understanding that the reason was simply because you didn’t want Gi-hun going to bed on an empty stomach. You cared for him too much to take. But a random competitor? Sure. If they were offering, why would you say no? It was hard to give a damn.

Then, almost to add salt to the wound, not knowing you’d offended him, you even tried to share your new spoils with Gi-hun but he insisted you kept it all for yourself. 

You think if it had ended there, he likely wouldn’t have become the crab-ass that he had right before lights out. But then the player randomly checked in on you as you climbed into your bunk, leaned on the side of the frame with broad shoulders and watchful eyes. 

“If you get scared, come find me.” He’d said. You barely batted an eye, but you curtly thanked him regardless to send him on his way. 

Sharing dinner, fine. Whatever. But man. That bothered Gi-hun. He sauntered into your bed beside you, grumping about the player having such a sudden interest in you. You teased him, not understanding the scale of his envy for your attention. As if you gave a shit about anyone but him. He didn’t appreciate the way you provoked him with that humming tone, but you knew what he would appreciate, and you were quick to get to work.

Just like you knew he would, he did appreciate it when you started kissing at his neck, dragging down the collar to his tracksuit to nip at his skin and add to the countless hickies you’d already left there from your previous excursions. He definitely appreciated it when you’d unzipped your jacket and tossed it over your waists like a blanket before dragging your hand over the growing bulge in his pants. 

He was so easy to please. So easy to provoke. 

But you suppose you’re the same- melting in a puddle of drool and squirms after he’d rolled you onto your side and started poking and prodding wherever he could reach. Little swipes and grabs here and there to remind you, and to remind himself, that you'd given yourself over to him entirely.

At this point you’re sure that you’ve soaked the mattress. You need him bad, so bad that you can hear your wetness as he sinks in a finger down to the knuckle. When you spasm around him, Gi-hun curls around you and croons small sounds into your ear, his cock twitching to be buried in that heat as if it had a mind of it's own. You urge him on, clenching around his digit, twisting your fingers in the thin sheets of the mattress. He slips another in and they drag along your gummy walls. 

You could get off like this. You have gotten off like this. But he’s so neglected between your legs, his hips barely rutting for any stimulation he could get, you can't help but try to get this show on the road.

“Gi-hun,” You sigh, breathless. “Please.”

He doesn't waste much time after that. How could he, when you sing his name so sweetly and rub your swollen sex over his aching tip, a pleading invitation.

And when he finally sinks himself into you, your greedy cunt sucking him in and soaking his shaft, he has to hiss into your neck to avoid outright moaning. You know you’re tight around him- you can feel your walls constricting, zips of pleasure racing up and down your body. It feels so damn good, fills you out just right, and you’re so wet that he doesn't even have to adjust himself before he’s pulling all the way out and kissing your slit with the tip of his cock and then he’s chasing that heat all over again. 

You shove your face into your pillow and bite down the fabric. There’s an audible squelch with each idle thrust, and if he weren't bear hugging you against his furnace-hot body you would be jumping in his hold every time he sheathed himself within your core. Your hips bounce back against him as he sets a rhythm, little noises chirping from his lips as he did. You're drunk on every sound, feeling your skin growing hotter and hotter, your toes curling and uncurling. 

He reaches up to hook your leg over the bend of his arm before he carefully drags it up, just barely nudging you further onto your belly before he started fucking into you all over again. The new angle is exactly what you needed, his member showing that sensitive little spot inside of you some much needed attention. Now you’re really struggling, eyes screwed shut, your chest heaving. Everything's tingling, a simmer building in your gut that has you chasing and matching every thrust. 

His fingers find your clit again and you arch against him- thighs starting to shake. You’re getting close. It’s so dirty, the way you can hear people in the distance rolling in their beds while you’re seeing god behind your eyelids. He’s determined to get you off, to bring you to that lovely high before he does but you’re so hot, and you’re so wet and you’re squeezing him so right that he knows he doesn’t have long. Trying to make every second last an eternity, trying to stay enveloped in your walls where he's safe and riddled with a sense of pleasure so intense it leaves him trembling with aftershocks. He's almost there- you can feel it in the way he changes his tempo- plunges his cock into you so desperately and then stills to regain composure before doing it all over again. The uneven rhythm makes you kick your legs uselessly.

“Please, please,” You whimper into your pillow. “-M' so close…”

Gi-hun’s feeling like he’s on the final lap. You’re close, finding your way to the edge and teetering right on the precipice. He latches onto your neck and drives into you almost hard enough for the frame of the bed to rattle. Your fingers grip onto the sheets for purchase, it’s like being on fire from the inside out. He’s panting into your ear and it’s only spurring you on, rocking your hips until each thrust impales you to his very hilt. 

Your brows knit, your lips falling parted as you focused on how that simmer had turned into a raging inferno, growing and growing until finally it combusted and burst throughout your entire body.

When you cum, you see fireworks behind your eyes. 

Your back arches so intensely that he has to catch your hips to keep you in place, flattening himself over the cat-like bend in your spine, trapping you under his weight. Waves of mind numbingly blissful pleasure have you covering your own mouth and drooling through your fingers. You’re tight as a vice around him, and he’s still filling you with each thrust until you’re struggling to take it in silence. 

With one last powerful thrust, he stills inside of you for just a moment. He curls around you and you think maybe this time you'll get the joy of feeling that familiar warmth of his seed filling you to the brim, but instead he pulls out and sinks himself back between your thighs. Hotness paints your skin in spurts, thick and oozing. A deep shudder wracks his body, his fingers gripping hard enough into your skin to leave marks as he rides out his orgasm, shoving himself into your shaking thighs until he’s spent and shivering over top of you. 

Your hearts beating so loudly in your ears that you can’t even tell if you’re being noisy or not. Hard breaths panting in tandem, a concoction of juices pooled between your legs, you can’t help but feel like a bit of a whore. 

But then again, you don’t really care that much. It's hard to bring yourself to give a shit about much these days knowing any moment could be your last. And you certainly don't care about being judged. Not when he rolls himself off of you and drags you against his chest before you could even think about gaining the strength to move. He’s as warm as a furnace, his unkept hair stuck to his forehead with beads of sweat gathered at his brows. It makes you smile- his blissful exhaustion was god’s greatest gift on this earth. You wished you could see it every day of your life.

You hoped one day you'd get the chance to fuck him properly in the privacy of your own room. But, until then, this was just as good.

“Thank you.” Gi-hun murmurs. You snuggle up against him, grinning like a fool. 

“I could tell you needed that,” You start, sliding your hand under his shirt to trace imaginary lines over his skin. “I didn’t know you were the jealous type.”

He grunts, exhaustion lacing his tone. “I’m not. That guy's been watching you. What does he want with you anyways?”

"Dunno. Maybe he's the jealous one."

It’s cute when he’s trying to act like he’s not pouting. It was one of the things that drew you into him- this sort of pathetic need to be touched and wanted by you at all times. He would have to be a fool to think you'd ever have eyes for anyone other than him.

You just wish you hadn't had to find him at the games.

“Look, whatever it is he's wanting, he’s not getting it.” You kiss his shoulder. 

“Good. I like this, what we have.” Gi-hun’s eyes are slipping shut, satisfied with sex and content with your in his arms.  He pets down your sides with sweet strokes.

You trace his chest hair. "I do too. I like you."

He peeks at you, those eyes swimming with tender love. It makes your heart flutter. He answers your sweet words with a kiss to the top of your tussled hair.

You can’t help but glance up at him, and appreciate the way his furrowed brows have untensed, those deep lines on his face disappearing with tranquility. A small bit of you dreads this part, this inescapable heaviness drawing your eyelids closed. Sleep would slip through your fingers like sand and before you knew it you’d be awoken to a scathing alarm reminding you that death was around every corner. 

But you try to not think about that. Not yet. Not while he's clutching you against him like you're the only thing keeping him grounded. The slow, long pets from your sides down to your hips slow into a still, and just like a light, he’s out.

You watch him for a while, memorizing the maps of his face down to the minute detail.

Just in case.

Tomorrow would be a new beast entirely. But for now, all you bring yourself to care about is matching your breaths with his, and the way he murmurs your name in his sleep.

[pbstarot]

𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐌𝐲 𝐎𝐂𝐬 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 + 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐮𝐬𝐡, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭.

Hi, so here I am with yet another PAC, this time about your specific person's daydreams when they are in love. This pile works for Future Spouse, Future Lover and Crush (remember to apply where it fits). This PAC was suggested by @rosearex. Thank you! I used my OCs as the pictures on the PAC simply because I was too lazy to choose a theme for this. No other relation. Still, art credits go to me. Also, if you wanna take this PAC for yourself, you can, no problem. Additionally, most piles here got some NSFW mentions. Now, I kept it as PG as possible, except for pile 3, which was nearly impossible. So, if you are a minor, maybe steer clear of that one. Disclaimer: Tarot does not replace any sort of advice from a trusted professional that went to college for 8+ years to be there. It also does not always get things right. The future changes all the time and a responsible tarot reader can only assure 80% of their readings will be correct at any given point in time. Remember to take what you look at and go “huh, that could be me,” and leave the rest. Be conscious about your tarot content consumption and drink lotsa agua, amigo(a)(x).

Pile 1

Confirmation that this pile is for you: You could have a round shaped or heart shaped face. You could have upturned eyes. You could have darker skin. You could like the rain a lot. Vampires could be your favorite mythological creature. You could wear rings a lot. Your favorite colors could be white, red or gold (or all of them). Summer could be your favorite season, or when you were born. You could be pansexual. You could be considered quite popular, or have been popular before. You could enjoy watching documentaries. You could have Moon in Scorpio or Gemini in your chart. Those signs could also be present in the second house, or just be in your natal chart in general. Your initials could be S, L or M.

Their daydreams when they're in love.

Cards: Wheel of Fortune, Seven of Wands, King of Swords, King of Wands, Sun, Seven of Pentacles, Five of Swords rx, Eight of Swords.

Ok, so, right off the bat I figure your person is a little more down to Earth or TRIES to be (emphasis on try) when they have a crush or are in love (I'm getting that mainly from the King of Swords. When it came out, it was the first thing I thought of). So, I'm thinking that you are not gonna know this person's feelings, thoughts, daydreams, etc, likely ever. They can be more of a stoic presence, and even if not, when it comes to love, they become that. Serious and grounded. 

With the Wheel of Fortune, their daydreams might go all over the place. I think this person has very highlighted ups and downs too. For some, they could be prone to obsessing over the person they're in love with (hence why they wanna be so grounded and stoic. Responsible could be a better way of putting it) and that can lead to what, to them, is perceived disaster. This person is guarded, so anything out of the ordinary feelings-wise for them could indicate a dent in their perfect facade of not needing anyone. For others, they just fell in love a lot, and don't wanna do it anymore. No matter what, with the ups and downs, this person could go from thinking of them and their crush kissing, to getting married, to breaking up and being left alone, to someone dying, etc. The possibilities are endless and probably most of these stem from their abandonment issues (for everyone? Maybe not, but for a lot of you. They could also have perceived abandonment issues. For example, they had several deep crushes that never came to fruition and when they didn't, they felt abandoned by those people. It's more complex, I believe, and not any less harrowing. It caused them to be, again, emotionally guarded).

With the Seven of Wands, again there is this theme of blocking said daydreams, not wanting to acknowledge them. This person might be someone who prefers work and physical things. You see how I'm not getting any specific daydreams? This person is not letting me in for these first few cards. I think it will improve, but this info is just as important to understand them. Their avoidance could be something deeper, although you can never tell through a tarot reading AND it changes a lot from person to person. Nonetheless, you might find them cold if you meet them, or think they are not someone who is good with love (or very sympathetic towards it). That could be one of the things that might turn you off of them. Take as resonates. 

Now, going straight to the King of Wands, I believe this is where they let me in. With the King of Wands, things change a little bit, even color wise. Everything else was very blue, and from now on there are a few red colors again, much like the Wheel at the very beginning. To me this represents passion and love. For some, this person might daydream about themselves in a leadership role. (Could also be that most of their daydreams are NSFW, but I'll try to keep it PG, even if I am feeling it). They like to be in charge because they feel like this makes them more likable, or hotter to their partners. They also daydream of pursuing their crush, of making themselves known, of sweeping them off their feet. They like the idea of making someone fall in love with them. They might use money and status to get that, for some. For others, they use presents, independent of whether or not they have money. 

With the Sun, they daydream about a happy relationship, a happy life too. I believe they fall in love forever or for the long haul, another reason why they keep themselves in check. The Sun has a lot of yellow, red and blue, so through it all, I believe they also daydream about the sad parts and of overcoming them. This is a well rounded person who wants to have a real relationship with someone, but even though the reading is not about that, I don't know if they are ready for something like that quite yet. Again, different for each person who reads this, so you know the rule, but it's a feeling I get. I also believe they could daydream about having kids, about seeing them running around, and that might make them wanna cry. Very very guarded, especially this last one. This could be someone people don't often want to have kids with, or someone who doesn't wanna have kids most of the time, only inside their heads and locked very tightly (or, alternatively, only with the right person). This is someone who you could see staring into space and for sure they are thinking about love. They LOVE love. They think love is the best, and yet they don't let people know that (or not anymore). So, a lot of the ones around them might think they are simply coming up with new ideas, but they're probably just thinking of their crush, spouse, etc, wondering what kind of gifts they'd like, where they like to go out to, what are their interests, etc. 

With the Seven of Pentacles, again there's this feeling of them wanting to preserve this relationship, of patience, of kindness. This person can be soft, they need space to be, but they are good at being it. They know what to do in a relationship, even if, for some, maybe in theory only. They understand the ins and outs. Some could have been children of divorce, some could be children of "my parents should have gotten a divorce," but all in all, they wanna be patient for their partner, kind of emulating the feeling they were not exposed to growing up. They might daydream about helping their partner when they're sad, of being attentive to their needs, of hugging and kissing them when they're in distress. Things like that. 

With the Five of Swords reversed, the feeling is exemplified again. They could have been left in the cold a lot and not only by their situation growing up (whatever it was), but also by their subsequent partners. The volume of that varies from person to person. For some, your person has been in and out a lot, several different people, etc. For others, they might never have been in a relationship, and if they did, they had long ones, 2+ years. In the first scenario, being in and out sounded like the easy, good thing to do: Nothing lost here, considering no one had expectations, except for their soul. This is someone who can't do casual as well as they wish they could. For the ones who have been in longer relationships, the people they had relations with were just manifestations of their traumas. Either that, or entirely emotionally unavailable. Some very few could have been well meaning, but this person was just a lot (which isn't a bad thing with the right person, but in this situation, considering everything, it was). So, their whole daydream surrounds them not feeling out in the cold. Being able to unwind with someone, to not feel like they have to hide. The same goes for their partner, but I think this is their selfish daydream. The daydream in which they get the attention, the love and the hugs. 

With the Eight of Swords, I can't not see a more NSFW sentiment, but I'm gonna try to keep this PG. Because this person is someone who seemingly needs to trust their partner, one way of doing it would be trusting them in bed. They might like to be tied up, but also because they know their partner is gonna remove the ropes afterwards and take care of them. It's a trust exercise for them. They like the idea of being able to have this entrapment and knowing that it's not forever, that it's just inside of a specific part of their relationship, that once it's done, it's done. It's hot for them partially because of their past experiences (as truly, all kinks we have are fuelled by our life and psychology, etc), and partially because it's freeing for them. 

What makes them blush and gush, whether they admit it or not?

Cards: Five of Swords rx, Seven of Swords, Wheel of Fortune, Seven of Cups.

You got some repeats here, considering I took this one with the Luna Lapin, so I'm gonna go over it a little more briefly (although it'll probably be like that for all the other piles too). With the Five of Swords reversed, definitely their need to be cared for would make them blush. Being cared for would make them blush in general. This is something they want, but might not be entirely equipped to accept. They wanna be the center of attention but panic when they get there, basically. I think they might even stutter trying to tell you to stop or explaining why they don't take it as well as they wish they could. 

With the Seven of Swords, this is again NSFW, but something that makes them blush is them and their partner going out for some non-pg activities and people knowing it. They like the idea of keeping everything that makes them vulnerable a secret, so if they had a partner who's a little more touchy-feeling and who wants to engage, even in an appropriate, albeit obvious manner, they'd blush about it because they don't want people to notice that, well, they had sex. Very guarded person, again. Keep that in mind.

With the Wheel and the Seven of Cups, I feel like many things do make them blush and it's up to you, the querent, to find out. Some are less obvious than others, some take a while to notice, and are subtle. It's a delicate game, but this stoic looking person (to some) can be broken down by a partner they love or a crush, simply because they are not used to being flirted with. Shamelessly flirt with them, but be really honest and emotional, because depending on the flirt they might take it as a joke and give it back to you as that, doing a back and forth. In their minds, they'll interpret it as just a game. However, if you look into their eyes, pet their hair, hold their hand, all of these more intimate gestures, they'll melt. Just their nature.

Pile 2

Confirmation that this pile is for you: You could have more of a vintage style. You could like watching or reading period dramas. You could be non-committal in some capacity. You could enjoy the sunlight or need more of it in your life. You could be white. Werewolves could be your favorite mythological creatures. You could be athletic. You could be on the logical side. You could be in your 20s, or like the 20s as a decade. You could have been born in the month of July. Your favorite color could be purple or pink. Fall could be your favorite season, or the season you were born in. You didn’t get any signs, but you got the numbers 4, 7, 8, 9, 10 and 11, which could be any prominent houses, or numbers in general for you. Your initials could be S, U, W, F or P. 

Their daydreams when they’re in love. 

Cards: Five of Pentacles, Ten of Cups, Strength, Eight of Cups, Hanged Man, Queen of Cups, Two of Cups, Wheel of Fortune, Five of Wands rx, Page of Cups rx, Hermit, High Priestess.

Your person’s got quite a few majors. I feel, from that, that they might be someone that once they fall in love, they fall really hard. I believe they might be even a bit obsessive when they’re in love, which might make them crazy. You know those people who can’t separate things, who’d die for their person, etc? Yeah, this person’s like that. I also feel like there’s two sides here. First side hates being in love because of this. Second side likes to be in love and is always looking to give love a new chance (Pamela Anderson style, love one more time and always one more time). 

With the Five of Pentacles, their de facto daydream could be knocking on their person of interest’s door at night, with snow dripping from their hair and clothes, the person answering them and them asking for their forgiveness. I don’t know why this person feels like they need to be forgiven, but it’s quite interesting to see that one of their first fantasies is being accepted, even after they have done something “bad” to this person. I don’t sense they cheated (although maybe for a few of you it is that in their head), but I do think it was something emotionally straining, that wasn’t done on purpose. Afterwards, they dream of pulling the person and kissing them. I also think, for some, this is less about forgiveness and more about begging. They came to beg their love interest to love them as passionately as they love them and were accepted, wholeheartedly. They also like people who are not as outwardly emotional as them, that hold things in, and then let themselves go in their arms.

With the Ten of Cups, I think after the prior fantasy, they wish and daydream of kids, dogs, cats, nice houses, domestic bliss, etc. Sometimes, the two are disconnected, and this fantasy is about nothing ever being wrong between them and their person of interest. I also think they daydream about a quick wedding, the kind where you just meet someone, click immediately, and you’re married in a month (my High School Portuguese teacher’s second marriage was like that. Basically she got a divorce, and after the divorce was finalized she was walking around the supermarket when she met this guy and they liked each other. They were married in two weeks, and had been for seven years when she told me that story).I think they want this because they are so passionate, and they believe in soulmates (I feel like some would deny this passionately, try to go the “rational” route, but deep down they know they at least wish the concept was real, so they’d never feel unsafe again). They like the idea of an unexplainable, powerful connection, where the people involved just know.

With the Strength card, I also think their daydreams revolve around being sweet and nurturing to the person they’re interested in, and vice versa. Bringing each other coffee, talking about each other’s day, going about errands. They might actually daydream about what their person gets in the supermarket, what aisles they go through more often, what their usual purchase looks like. To them, this is intimacy, knowing someone like that. They get heart eyes just thinking about it, because it’s so common and beautiful. It’s real, it’s what they’d think. They had relationships before in which they went grocery shopping with their partner, so they don’t concern themselves with the more extravagant expressions of love. They know that love is in the mundane. I also think they imagine themselves visiting their person at work and vice versa, bringing them some food, some coffee, things like that.

With the Eight of Cups, their daydreams take a turn. I think here, one of their biggest daydreams surrounds the person they are interested in, or themselves, leaving their partners for the other. I think this person has been in quite a few difficult relationships, although it doesn’t have to be for everyone. In the end, they just want someone who would fight for them, or inspire them to fight for something again. I don’t think this person has given up love entirely. They definitely think they have, but I’m not entirely sure it’s not just in the back of their heads, waiting to make a comeback. That being said, it’ll have to be someone bringing in the fire. I feel like this person also second guesses themselves a lot, which would make sense in this scenario. All they want is someone they are sure of, like I said, someone they know that, if they’re in a relationship with them, things are gonna go smoothly. That’s mostly what I’m seeing here (and they do daydream about this, but I think it’s not with anyone they fell in love with, but this idealized version of a partner).

Ok, now, with the Hanged Man, some NSFW messages come through, although like in Pile 1, I’m keeping it very PG and brief. I think that, if they like to be tied, they like it because it makes them feel safe. It’s similar to Pile 1, although now that I mentioned it, I feel like this is a more metaphorical tie (although the NSFW message can fit someone too). They might literally dream of tying the knot, of being forever tied to someone. I also think they daydream of making those stupid ball-and-chain jokes, but in a postmodern, ironic way. I think they’d make them while hugging and kissing the person they are making the joke about. 

With the Queen of Cups, their daydreams also revolve around their person of interest being quite emotionally intelligent, nurturing (once more), and kind. Someone who gives a wise vibe, someone who understands themselves and others. I feel like their daydreams also revolve around being intrinsically known and connected to the person they are daydreaming about. It reminds me of that Jane Eyre quote: “I have a strange feeling with regard to you. As if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly knotted to a similar string in you. And if you were to leave I'm afraid that cord of communion would snap. And I have a notion that I'd take to bleeding inwardly. As for you, you'd forget me.” I think they also believe, painfully, that they need this person more than the person needs them, even in their own daydreams. I think communication wasn’t a big thing in past relationships, so they felt like they poured everything they had to emotionally unavailable people, and they can’t help but let this energy leak, even into their happiest thoughts. This seems like a highly realistic person. 

With the Two of Cups, the cord comes back here. They want the soulmate and they wanna believe that most of their people of interest are that for them. They always believe in love one more time (for those that this resonated, and even for the ones that don’t, I feel like this person can’t help falling in love, Elvis style). I think they wish to know that this person is their soulmate, for sure, too, so they’ll make no more mistakes. They might put their people of interest through tests in their own heads. They also might have a list the person of their dreams needs to fill, and considering the list is complicated, they’ll never fall in love. It’s a method they might use to protect themselves from falling too hard. I also think they daydream of a person who’ll finally fill everything in, although they know that it’s impossible. I think recently they have been a little more flexible in this regard.

With the Wheel of Fortune, I think that they daydream of the years passing and of their partner still being with them. Life going up and down, loss of money, parents, etc, but also gain of fortune, promotions, pregnancies, all of that. Once more, this comes across as a highly realistic person, so they wanna take into account all the good and bad that might happen in a normal relationship. Control freak too, just to be sure they’ll be able to cover all of their bases, they think of what those would consist of. For some of you, this is the type of person to save for a rainy day, who can’t fathom anything catastrophic happening.

With the Five of Wands rx, this person daydreams of a relationship with no arguments. Once more, I think this was a problem they might have had in past relationships. One of their partners could have been quite combative, not very lenient. They don’t wanna build a home that is filled with shouting and violence. For some, this could have been their parents. For others, this could also have been friends. It differs for everyone, just know that there was something in their past, likely with someone or several people they loved a lot, that turned out very sour and made them fear disagreements. It truly wasn’t fair, so they daydream of conflict resolution, or not having any at all, like I mentioned.

With the Page of Cups rx, the first thing that came to my mind was that their daydreams rarely revolve around the honeymoon phase, which is true. Everything seems to be focused on the late relationship, like this person wants to rush the first part. I think they, somehow, don’t believe they are lovable, so the longer they give a person to figure out who they truly are before they get married, the more they’ll clock onto that fact. It could also be that they simply don’t wanna waste any more time, because they’ve been in and out of relationships enough, and now they just wanna get married already, see what the big deal is. I also think that they inherently hate the honeymoon phase and think it’s fake. It’s just two people putting their best foot forward, which falls apart sooner rather than later. So, they wanna know who they are with, truly (which explains the daydreams about going to the supermarket, etc), without any affectations.

With the Hermit, they keep their daydreams for themselves, but if anyone truly wanted to know, I don’t think they’d keep it in. This person believes in communication, even if they haven’t always been bestowed the same grace. I also think that they daydream of a free relationship, where they are left to their own devices once in a while. Something close, but not suffocating. They might enjoy their alone time a lot, to connect with their own soul, so this is imperative.

With the High Priestess, I still believe that, through it all, they leave some space to the unknown. Again, this person understands that daydreams are just daydreams, because they are, themselves, emotionally intelligent. This is something they use to amuse themselves when the day is slow, or, truly, when they are in bed at night, alone. Reminds me of yet another thing, the lyrics to Meeting Place by the Last Shadow Puppets: “She clings to his consciousness wherever he lays//He struggles to sleep at night and during the day//He's worried she's waiting in his dreams//To drag him back to the meeting place//His love had left him there.” I think this person might be quite cultured, which is why I am getting these things, or they use other people’s words to explain what they can’t convey. Nonetheless, no matter how emotionally intelligent and mature this person is, we all need love, and it has been particularly difficult for them to get what they want in this regard. So, they daydream.

What makes them blush and gush, whether they admit it or not?

Cards: Nine of Pentacles, Emperor, Temperance, Judgement.

Once more, a lot of majors for just a four card pull, so this person is quite decided in what they like. It’s interesting, because I got two messages right away. First, they are into beautiful women who are determined, confident, and dedicated to themselves. Second, they are into powerful men, who could make them submit. This person might be bisexual, or you could just adapt to your situation. Ideally, they wish they could have both. They like dominant people, who will take care of them, likely. They wanna be loved, wanted, all of that, and it’s easier to get that with someone who is confident, who won’t let them second guess whether or not they are beloved. I think this person is quite sexually free too, so they could have had both, if you get what I mean, even at the same time. Of course, once more, you take it as resonates.

With the Temperance card, I also think that what makes them blush is someone who is patient, and kind. Someone that, paired with with the Judgement card, makes a good judge of character. Above all, the people who make them blush are always more of a dad or strong, beautiful woman archetype. A man who could take care of them, a woman who could beat them up. It’s kind of cute. I don’t think they are at all attached to these types, though, and might go just every which way, depending on who they like. Again, emotionally intelligent enough to understand that they have to be flexible when it comes to real people, and that no one will fill their dream partner list completely (although they so, so, so wish for it). I think they also like people who can they be this Emperor to, so, cute people. Yeah, it’s definitely a case by case situation here, but this type of person doesn’t make them blush, they wanna make them blush. Again, it depends.

Pile 3

Confirmation that this pile is for you: You might prefer to watch movies than read books. You might wear earrings a lot, and have quite the collection. You could also have a necklace you wear all the time or often change them around. You could be in the Aro-Ace Spectrum. Alternatively, and this came to me, you could have a crush on Aro Volturi from Twilight (Yes. Aro Volturi from Twilight. This is more relatable than you think. I will not elaborate). Your favorite color could be green. Your favorite season could be Winter. You could have a shorter stature.You could be quite emotional. You could be neurodivergent. You could enjoy watching documentaries. You could be athletic. You could frequently hear tinkling bells. You could have Cancer anywhere in your chart. Your initials could be M and B.

Their daydreams when they're in love.

Cards: Five of Wands, Magician, Ten of Wands, Eight of Cups, Empress, Three of Cups, Ace of Pentacles, Devil, Two of Swords, Ace of Wands, Justice, Nine of Wands. 

The first thing I got looking at the cards was a bad vibe. Interesting person. I think that this is definitely the most immature of all piles, and could be someone who hasn’t been in many relationships in the past. I also think it depends, true. Mostly this gives me a fuckboy-girl sort of vibe, someone who isn’t serious about their relationships, which is quite different from the previous piles (I also think that, if you felt attracted to any of the others, give it a read, because it could complement this one). This is also the pile with the most NSFW energy out of all of them, but, once more, I’ll try to keep it PG. Still, if you are a minor, maybe sit this one entirely out.

Also, this pile is a bit all over the place. These people are pulling me in every direction, so I think there’s a few of them here. I’ll try my best to make sense of everything in a coherent way.

With the Five of Wands, I think one of this person’s daydreams is riling their person of interest up, and getting them to be mad at them. I think they think it’s hot when someone is screaming at them bloody murder. All they want is to grab them by the waist and kiss them. I also believe that this person does that so they feel like they have some sort of control over this person. For some, it’s not that deep, it’s one of those “pulling your pigtails” moments, that is more to evoke an emotion than anything. With the Magician, I feel like this person doesn’t have many problems pulling partners left and right. I believe they might manifest people to have sex with quite easily. I also think that one of their chief daydreams is to have multiple partners, at the same time too. I really wanna keep this PG, so you can fill in the gaps yourself. Either way, this is someone who is, again, quite free with sex and they don’t think of much more than that. There is a fear of going deeper, of wanting love. While Pile 2 tried their best to believe in love one more time, this person has seen enough, doesn’t want any. Alternatively, though, they could be quite the opposite, and be waiting to manifest the perfect person. This is, however, to a very few of you only.

With the Ten of Wands, I think one of their daydreams could be to help the people they are interested in. Interestingly, we have arrived at a sexless fantasy of theirs. I think they like to be of service and that could be one of their love languages. They like this because it makes them feel wanted. In fact, this whole sex God façade could be just that, a need to be wanted, but not to be had. They want what’s easy: Sex, without attachments, but just enough of it that they don’t feel like a waste of space. I don’t think they are at a position in which they can face this is their driving force for going on so many sexual escapades (considering they hide behind the fact that they are young. This is, truly, the early twenties pile), but they will when they are older. Still, for some of you, they are truly just exploring, and there is even a more earnest wish to be a good partner. Like Lynn Barber, I think I mentioned her here before. If you ever watched An Education, you know who she is (the main character’s story was based on her real life account of the same happening to her). Lynn Barber went to Cambridge, found out that she wasn’t the smartest person there, and decided to explore her romantic options. She wanted above all to understand men. Because of her experience with one in the past, she aimed to discover everything there was to know about them. I feel like your person’s daydreams revolve around this understanding, although there’s less of it and more of action. They might run everything they did with someone romantically through their brains afterwards, taking note of what was good, what wasn’t, what there is to improve, etc.

With the Eight of Cups, one of their daydreams revolves around leaving. They might have attachment issues and be one of those people who likes to leave before they are left. This daydream brings them joy because they wanna be the powerful one, the one who pulls the plug, the unfeeling one. Again, I told you I got a bad vibe. Mostly, it’s emotional immaturity. If you inquired about your Future Spouse, I am not sure this will be them when they meet you, but could be for some. Either way, you should wait it out, so they get out of this phase. I think that being a prick brings them immense satisfaction, and you don’t wanna get involved with someone like that (you can’t change them. They’ll change themselves). If this isn’t the case, then I think they might be ashamed of this in the future (although I can’t be sure). Still, there’s joy in this card. Leaving feels oh so good. With the Empress, they daydream of a beautiful person, who’ll wreck their life, but whom they can tame. The femme fatale, the dangerous man, the modern siren. Whoever it is, they wanna win, they don’t wanna be taken by them. It’s a demonstration of power, again. This person has a LOT to prove to themselves. For some of you, though, I think they think of a nurturing, beautiful, creative creature and that would be the only one they would submit to. Like Pile 2, they have a very specific type they wanna marry someday (and that is a far someday). It’s quite divided, so I think you’ll really have to use your discernment here. 

With the Three of Cups, I again feel like this person might want multiple partners at once and daydreams about that quite frequently. I don’t see polycule, because that would demand an actual relationship, but definitely a situationship. I also think they daydream about being free to go out with friends. Honestly, I don’t think this person ever falls in love and if they do, they run. Still, if it were the case, then, this card would symbolize them going out with their partner and friends, but just the thought of it might make this person wanna puke. It’s not, again, that they don’t want it, they just like to convince themselves that they are above this sort of behavior, that they cracked the code of love. They are definitely in their early, early twenties. With the Ace of Pentacles, I think this person might daydream of a relationship that is mutually beneficial. Sugar baby/daddy. I don’t think they’d go all the way, though, but they might like to think they would. For others, though, they daydream of being able to help the person they are infatuated with monetarily. I don’t think it’s even with any strings attached. That whole being of service thing comes back. They do truly wish to help others. This is a kind, bruised sort of person, who is just learning how to function in the world of relationships and love, without wanting to get got by anyone. I also think that if the person they lent the money to tried to tell them they were in love with them, they’d vehemently deny it, and even leave forever.

The Devil is self-explanatory in the NSFW realm, but, being entirely honest, I think this person daydreams of toxic relationships. Listen, I have my own view on what is toxic or not (namely that, to be toxic, a relationship needs to be unbalanced. Sure, there are things that are non-negotiable, like physical abuse, and other things, but I think a relationship that is intense is not necessarily toxic. I don’t think this is the case, though), and I think this is one of the actually toxic ones. They might daydream of a very unrealistic, Wattpad-y attachment. Fifty Shades of Gray sort of situation, where it is not a BDSM relationship, but a really bizarre, cult-like one, where there is heavy manipulation. Now, I don’t think this person does that because they are toxic, they do that because they don’t know better. They have this lack of experience with ACTUAL relationships, and so they think this is the best thing ever, this is the only one in which they would feel actually understood. I do think one day they’ll look back at this and laugh so hard, and thank God that they never truly got into one of these (which I think it’s the Universal truth here). With the Two of Swords, again, more NSFW messages. This person can’t stop, they are obsessed with it. Blindfolded and all. If I go into a non-nsfw route, though, this could symbolize their lack of daydreams. Again, they are an action oriented person, and so they feel like they don’t have time to indulge in these things. They still wanna believe they are superior. With the Ace of Wands, I’m sounding like a broken record, but yeah, I swear, all they think about is sex and what comes with that. They also might daydream about pulling people, making out with them, making them “theirs” for one night, especially people they know, friends, colleagues, etc. I think they like the idea of having some sort of emotional connection with the person, to make things feel better, but not a romantic one. A casual thing, a taboo thing like a workplace relationship, having sex with a best friend and no one knowing, etc.

With Justice, now, we get to a major, probably hidden daydream of theirs, which is fun and interesting. They secretly long for someone to balance them out, to save them from themselves. This is different from the toxic relationship. In fact, this is pure. They wanna have someone who’ll convert them, like the Empress before, but even purer. Someone that they can trust in completely, a balanced connection without any darkness. Someone they can worship entirely, give themselves to entirely. This is a general fantasy though, so unlike the femme fatale energy from before, this is tender love and care. Very hidden, very vulnerable daydream, the kind they’d laugh after being accused of, before running away. They give me MAJOR Lestat de Lioncourt vibes, but in Interview With The Vampire, which is Louis’ take on things. Last, but not least, Nine of Wands. It ties to the previous daydream well. They want someone who’ll nurture them back to health, who’ll fix them in a way. No, they cannot be fixed, and they know that, but they want someone who’ll try. Someone who’ll show them they care, who won’t run when they do. Major major attachment issues, again. They don’t wanna take accountability for their side of the dynamic and I still believe that, if someone did this for them, they’d leave anyway. Some, sure, would stay, but the majority would leave. And even the ones who would stay are not worth it in this scenario. Will they care for their person back? Honestly, probably not. So, that’s that.

What makes them blush and gush, whether they admit it or not?

Cards: Tower, Queen of Wands, Eight of Cups, Four of Wands.

I think someone who’ll wreck their life, like I said with the Empress. Someone who’s gonna give them the best, most mind blowing night of their life and then disappear. They blush to the thought of someone stronger than them in bed, stronger than them in life, who’ll disappear as if in a dream. With the Queen of Wands, this would likely be someone powerful in themselves who doesn’t need this person at all. That makes them blush. With the Eight of Cups, definitely the idea of someone leaving first, leaving them in the dark. And, lastly, with the Four of Wands, surprisingly, weddings make them blush. I think it’s the public display of everlasting affection that gets them at the end, the idea that it could be them if they were a little less emotionally unavailable, that someday they too could end up tying the knot. In general, what makes them blush and gush are powerful people BUT I don’t think they are outwardly exhibiting the signs. This person can be quite good and controlled. They don’t let themselves get caught being anything less than dignified when it comes to love. Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother comes to mind. Perfect suit, perfect life.

[clown-cafe]

After talking about this with a friend earlier, I wanted to make a post as a place to theory-craft about Jonathan potentially being the Little Pale Girl's next vessel (the witch?)

I know this is a popular theory

But these are things I've picked up on that made me personally believe it. I'd be super interested if people have other ideas/interpreted any of these differently 👀

1) In Terrifier 2, Jonathan wanted to dress up as Art for Halloween. That's always felt like foreshadowing waiting to happen to me personally.

2) Sure, Sienna can see the Little Pale Girl in Terrifier 2 because she's some kind of warrior angel force for good. What about Jonathan being able to see her? Is it just because they're related, or was he chosen to be able to see her?

3) Sienna and Jonathan always felt like direct parallels of Art and The Little Pale Girl to me. Not exactly evidence, but I've always correlated them in my head.

4) The Little Pale Girl/Victoria have already nailed mimicking Jonathan's voice. I know she also mimics Sienna's aunt and uncle, but mimicking Jonathan twice in two different forms... Hm...

5) Jonathan is seen taking medication and telling someone in a very deliberately included shot of his phone that "It's getting worse/bad again (can't remember wording - I need a rewatch)"... what is? We never find out the details of his trauma. We never find out what exactly caused Jonathan's meltdown. Are his issues similar to Sienna, or is he dealing with something far more sinister.

6) We never see what Art and Victoria did with Jonathan. I do not believe he's dead. I simply do not. Maybe they're holding him somewhere. He feels like a real ace in their sleeve for dealing with Sienna - why wouldn't they kill him in front of her if they wanted to break her that bad.

7) Victoria/Pale Girl were built up to be a very important figure in Terrifier lore in Terrifier 3. But Victoria is presumably dead now as a vessel. She'll n e e d a replacement.

8) Jonathan is particularly closed off and calloused in Terrifier 3 which, don't get me wrong, can definitely just be his trauma. But he wasn't at the start of Sienna's hospitalisation. When he was studying demonology and writing to her that they "Need to kill the Little Pale Girl before it's too late." He of all people knows what she is - where's his urgency.

9) Lastly, this may be entirely unrelated. But Art ate Victoria's face. Then she was possessed presumably by the time she attacked Monica Brown.

At the end of Terrifier 2, Art is seen attempting to eat parts of Jonathan.

Not killing him.

Biting him.

With all his tools that he has there

That he could have been torturing him with-

Biting him.

And I'm sure Art has bitten more people and I just forgor

But it keeps coming to mind again and again.

Feels significant somehow.

With all the chances Art had to kill that boy.

Why was he alive so long.