#and i really feel like i’m talking to myself and only occasionally other people on here

[fxrmuladaydreams]

angel on his shoulder: meet cute? (op81)

mean!oscar x sweet!reader

summary: you shouldn’t even try to form a friendship with the austrailian driver, but you can’t help but want to

notes: so he’s not really mean, more standoffish and off-putting. but i hope you guys like the first part of this story 🥰

wc: 834

Unpleasant. That was the word used to describe Oscar most often in the paddock. He wasn’t necessarily terrible, as long as you didn’t bother him. He was known to give stern glares, and eye rolls with a sigh all too often.

He was entirely different from his teammate Lando. Lando who won over crowds with his charm and cheeky smile. Oscar never entertained crowds like Lando did. Sure, he did the press conferences, but only because they were mandatory. He was there to do one job, drive.

He was damn good at it too. Having won a sprint race in his rookie year, and his maiden win in his second, he was proud of his skills. He was happy to simply keep to himself, play nice for the cameras when he needed to, and drive.

That all changed the day you came into the MTC, trailing behind Lando. His steps were quick as he rambled on about something, talking animatedly with his hands. You followed behind him, holding what looked like a few folders and notebooks in your arms, occasionally nodding along to whatever Lando was saying.

You wore a papaya colored McLaren polo, the same he was. You must be a new employee. He kept an eye on you throughout the day, watching the way you followed Lando everywhere, practically attached to him at the hip.

He was gathering his things to leave at the end of the day when he felt a soft tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see you standing there, a shy smile on your face.

“Hi, I’m Y/n.” You stick your hand out to him, offering him a handshake. “I’m Lando’s new assistant, I just wanted to introduce myself.”

Oscar nods, shaking your hand. “Oscar.” He says.

You nod. “Yeah, you’re Lando’s teammate.” You wait for a reply, but don’t receive one. “I’ve seen a few of the races. You’re both very talented.”

“Thanks.”

You feel embarrassment creep up inside you at his apparent disinterest. “Uh, I should go, find Lando… It was nice meeting you, Oscar.” You don’t give him the chance to reply before turning away and leaving.

Oscar lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding in. Most people tended to leave him alone, and he preferred it that way. But you looked so soft and sweet, standing there, even complimenting his driving. It was all too tempting for Oscar. You were too tempting.

You leave Oscar standing there to walk back over to Lando, who had his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face.

“I told you he wasn’t friendly.”

You shake your head. “Just because he keeps to himself doesn’t mean he’s not friendly.” You look back over at him as he finishes gathering his things. “I’ll be his friend in no time.” You stuck your nose up at Lando.

“Sure thing, sweetheart.”

Oscar tried to keep his distance from you, genuinely, but he couldn’t help but feel a pull towards you.

He spent his days stealing glances at you during meetings, and watching you as you shuffled through paperwork for Lando.

You started small, slowly seeping into his routine. You would offer him a coffee in the morning, claiming they accidentally made two, and that the last thing Lando needed was caffeine. Then there was the day that you baked cookies for the team. You put them all in a bowl and left them on a counter in the breakroom for anyone to grab. You knew Oscar wouldn’t take any, so you bagged him a few, and left them with his things.

He remembers the day you really planted yourself in his life. You stood next to the table he was sitting at, a bag of takeout in your hands.

“Could I sit with you, Oscar?” You ask.

Oscar looks up at you, then glances around the room. All the other tables are filled with people, chatting or working, but it seemed the only one available was the one he sat at. He tries not to feel too insecure that his table was the only one no one else wanted to sit at.

“Yeah, sure.” He nods.

You smile as you sit down in the seat next to him, rather than the one across from him.

He quietly watches as you unpack your food, making yourself comfortable.

“How was the sim today?” You ask.

Oscar shifts in his seat. “Good.” He nods.

“Lando says that he’s confident going into next weekend.”

“Lando’s confident going into every weekend.” The corners of his lips turn up, just slightly, enough to hint at a smirk.

“Is that a smile? From Oscar Piastri?” You ask, your own smile on your face.

Oscar flushes a bit at your words, attempting to stutter out a reply.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” You give him a wink.

Oscar feels a shift with you then and there, a longing to keep you close like this, and he knows he is well and truly fucked.

next part

[7ndipity]

Every Little Thing

Yoongi x Reader

Summary: When you overhear Yoongi talking about how clingy you’ve been lately, you decide to take a step back from your friendship to give him space. But your sudden absence goes far from unnoticed by him.

Word Count: 2k(wtf?!)

Warnings: angst, swearing, only partially proofread

A/N: Thanks so much to the lovely anon who requested this! This story, I... I don’t know what happened, I went from struggling to get it to work at all to getting waayy too carried away. I kinda had to stop myself at the end before it shifted into something else, but maybe if y’all want a part two, we can pick up from there?

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

As you got off the elevator, you couldn’t help the faint bounce in your step as you made your way to Yoongi’s studio, your bag slung over one shoulder, a grocery bag of snacks and drinks for the two of you to share.

Ever since you and Yoongi(and in turn, the rest of the members) had become friends, The Genius Lab had become a hideaway of sorts for you. Whenever you were feeling stressed or overwhelmed, you knew you could call Yoongi, and he would tell you to come over, letting you camp out on his couch while he worked, occasionally asking for your thoughts or opinions on a specific song or line.

As you neared his studio door, you noticed it was slightly ajar, allowing the voices from inside to slip out into the hall, quickly recognizing them as Yoongi’s and Namjoon’s.

“You wanna come to lunch with me and Hoseok?” Namjoon asked.

“Agh, I can’t, I told Y/n’s we could hang out today.” You heard Yoongi’s chair creak as he stretched, letting out a groan.

“Again? That’s like the third time this week, people are gonna start thinking you’re a couple or something at this rate.” Joon joked, making your cheeks flush lightly.

“Nah, it’s nothing like that,” Yoongi replied, sounding tired. “They’re just being clingier than usual, you know what they’re like.”

You frowned at his words. What did he mean by that?

“I know it’s just cause they’ve been stressed lately,” Yoongi continued. “But honestly, it’s gotten to the point where it’s weirder for them to not be here.”

Joon chuckled. “I’m surprised you don’t find that annoying.”

“I didn’t say that I don’t,” Yoongi said. “But it’s Y/n, so I let it slide. Anyway, on that track you showed me-”

You stepped back from the door, the sudden tightness in your chest making it slightly difficult to breathe as you quietly made your back down the hall to the elevators. As the metal doors closed, you replayed what you had overheard in your head.

Yoongi had always told you that he didn’t mind you hanging around, but maybe you had started to abuse that privilege, grown too dependent on him. Was that how he really felt about you? Had you become a nuisance? And if so, why hadn’t he said anything?

Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you quickly found his number and hit the call icon, trying to swallow down the lump in your throat before he picked up on the second ring.

“Hey, are you almost here?” He answered, sounding much brighter than a few minutes ago.

“Uh, actually, I don’t think I can make it today.” You said, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Is everything okay?” He asked, concerned.

No, one of my best friends hates me. “Yeah, everything’s fine, something just came up, sorry.” You bit your lip, managing to slip out of the building without running into any of the other members and making your way down the street to the bus stop.

“Okay.” He sounded unconvinced. “Is it anything I can help with, or-?”

“No, no it’s-, it’s a work thing.” You said, the words falling flat on your own ears. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Alright.” He said reluctantly. “Bye.”

“Bye.” You hung up, letting out a deep breath.

You could tell he hadn’t believed you, but you didn’t really care at the moment. If he wasn’t going to be honest with you, why should you be any different?

Suddenly presented with the afternoon to yourself, you decided to head to the park, wandering along the river as you thought over everything.

You and Yoongi had come here together not long after you had moved to the city, the last few blooms of the cherry blossom season clinging on stubbornly to their branches. He’d promised to bring you back the next year, so you could see them in their full glory at peak bloom.

Of course, life and work had gotten in the way, as they often did, and before either of you had realized, the season had nearly passed again before he could keep his word. You’d told him at the time that it didn’t matter, you’d just been happy to spend time with him, a recurring theme for you apparently…

Had you been a bother to him back then as well? You didn’t believe so, but the earlier sting of his words had left you questioning everything, even if you knew it might be an over-reaction.

It was dark by the time you made it home, flopping down on the sofa with a tired sigh as you contemplated your options.

So you’d been bugging him lately, that was an easily fixable problem, right? Just leave him alone for a bit, it was as simple as that, wasn’t it?

You weren’t so sure as your phone suddenly buzzed on the cushion next to you, drawing your attention to Yoongi’s name illuminated on the screen. You’d forgotten you said you’d call him.

‘Hadn’t heard from you, just wanted to make sure you’re okay?’ The text read.

Now who’s the clingy one? Was your immediate first thought.

‘I’m fine, just tired. Talk to you tomorrow.’ You typed shortly before turning off your phone and going to bed, with no intention of texting him the next day unless he did so first.

For the next week, you tried to keep up with your new normal; you didn’t go by the studio, you avoided texting him unless he did first, and generally avoided his invites to hangout with vague excuses.

One place you couldn’t avoid him though was dinner with the other members. It was a monthly tradition that you usually looked forward to, but as you stepped through the door of the restaurant, you only felt a wave of nervousness, for what though exactly you didn’t know.

“Y/n!” Tae quickly hopped to his feet to give you a hug, the others all greeting you enthusiastically. You noticed Yoongi didn’t speak, only nodding to you politely, but his eyes never left you for a second, seeming to study your every move.

“Y/n, do you want my seat? I know you usually prefer to sit by Yoongi-hyung.” Jungkook asked, starting to get to his feet, but you quickly waved him to sit.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to move for me, I’m fine over here.” You said, settling in the free seat next to Jimin, which happened to be directly across the table from Yoongi.

Everyone quickly settled into their usual routines and conversations, the mix of voices blurring into an almost comforting buzz, allowing you to zone out for a moment and relax, but a single low voice managed to snap you back to attention.

“I haven’t seen you all week.” Yoongi said quietly, a noticeable heaviness in his voice.

“Yeah, things have just been kinda busy.” You tried to say convincingly, but it was hard to pull off under his gaze. Luckily, Jin asked you about something from the show you’d been watching and gave you an easy out of the conversation.

You managed to get through the evening well enough, talking with the others, even making plans with Jimin for him to help you pick out some new furniture for your apartment. You’d felt Yoongi’s eyes on you all evening, but hadn’t said anything.

It was later that night when you were pulled from sleep by the sound of someone knocking persistently on your front door.

Cautiously, you climbed out of bed and padded to the door.

Who’s there?” You called anxiously, trying to remember where you’d put your old baseball bat, in case you needed to defend yourself.

“It’s Yoongi.”

You froze, staring at the door in surprise for a second before going over and peering out the peephole.

Sure enough, he was standing on your doorstep, causing a brief sense of relief that was quickly replaced with confusion and the same nervousness from earlier.

Not quite knowing what else to do, you cracked the door open slowly, taking in his slightly disheveled state; hair mussed and faint bags under his eyes. He looked the same way as when he would pull all-nighters at the studio.

“What are you doing here?” You asked.

“Why’ve you been avoiding me?” He responded with his own question, staring you down.

“I-, I haven’t-”

“Don’t lie.” He stopped you.

Glancing around quickly, you pulled him inside, not wanting to have this discussion in the hall.

“You’ve been dodging my texts and calls, you wouldn’t sit with me at dinner, you asked Jimin for help with furniture shopping, which you know he’s terrible at.” He continued as you closed the door. “So, tell me please, what has happened to make you start ditching me?”

“Why didn’t you tell me that I was annoying you?” You snapped.

He stopped, staring at you in confusion. “What?”

“I heard you and Joon talking last week,” You said, his face falling as the memory came flooding back. “About how clingy I’ve been, and how I’ve been annoying you by hanging around so much.”

“You haven’t been-”

“Don’t.” It was your turn to cut him off. “Don’t try to tell me that it’s not true or you didn’t mean it. What I want to know is why you weren’t just honest with me?” You hated the way your voice started to shake as you spoke. “Why didn’t you just tell me to fuck off or something? Why do you put up with me if I'm such an annoyance?!”

“Because I fucking love you!” He blurted out.

You froze, staring at him in shock. “What?!”

“I-, I love you.” He said quietly.

“You love me?” You repeated, hurt and frustration still churning in your stomach, not letting you take his words to heart. “You love me, but you think I’m annoying?”

“I think everyone’s annoying!” He tossed his hands up in frustration. “The difference is that I like your annoyance!

“I like that you’re loud and weird and make terrible jokes, I like that you nag me to take better care of myself.” He said. “I like that you’re happy holed up in my studio with me. I like that you sing along to every song that you recognize, even without realizing that you’re doing it.”

He took a cautious step closer, pleading with his eyes as he spoke.

“I like every little annoying thing that you do, because they’re what make you you. I’m so sorry that I made you think anything otherwise.”

You hadn’t moved as he spoke, fighting the tremble in your lip as your eyes had misted over with tears.

“Y/n?” He asked anxiously.

You didn’t speak, choosing instead to lunge forward, wrapping your arms tightly around him in a bruising hug. He staggering back slightly at the force of the collision, arms immediately coming up to hold you in an equally tight embrace.

“I missed you.” You sniffled, burying your face in his chest.

“I missed you too.” He replied, holding you tighter, pressing a soft kiss to your head. “I’m also sorry for telling you I loved you in a shitty way.”

“Eh, it’s kinda on brand for us, honestly.” You teased, making him let out a huff of laughter.

“I guess you’re right, fuck.” He shook his head.

“You wanna try again?” You offered.

He pulled back to look at you. “Really?”

You nodded. “If you want to.”

He nodded, pulling away enough to take your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles as he pressed his lips together nervously, eyes shaking slightly as he met your gaze.

“I love you, Y/n.”

He’d barely gotten the last word out before your lips were on his, effectively shutting you both up for the next several minutes.

When you finally pulled back, his eyes were blown wide, lips swollen and red from your assault, his breaths coming out in shaky puffs.

“I love you too, by the way.” You said, grinning at his slightly dazed expression.

“Cool, c’mere.” He said, pulling you back in, making you giggle as he eagerly reconnected your mouths.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

[canthelpit0]

Enemies (With Benefits) PT4

Pairing: Cold!Chris x Reader

Wordcount: 4K +

Summary: Chris and reader have always been enemies ever since they’ve known each other. neither knew why they had this burning feeling in their gut. So one day they decide to fuck it out. Until, eventually doing it regularly

Warnings: Smut, language, mentions of insomnia, mentioned nightmares/dreams, slight facial dysmorphia (if u squint), mentions of crying, slightly toxic, party, use of y/n, nickname (cherry), pet names (ma, sweetheart, etc), fight (not graphic), switching, unprotected, creampie (she’s on the pill)

(A/N: hope you guys like this! got the idea from this request. Tysm again <33)

PT1 PT2 PT3 PT4 FINAL

Everything with Chris is so unnecessarily complicated.

Why does he act like a little bitch sometimes. Coming to my house, begging me and than being all sassy and annoying.

I let out a harsh scoff when I accidentally smudged my mascara a little bit. Rolling my eyes I pick up a make up remover and a cotton pad to clean up my mistake.

I’ve gone back to ignoring Chris, for my own sake. And he’s stopped attempting to talk to me fully.

I’ve been sticking to Ethan a lot recently. Just staying by his side and all.

We were both invited to this party. But we were both gonna Uber there separately.

I was thinking of getting wasted tonight. I haven’t done that in a while. The last party I’d been to was the party Evelyn forced me to go to.

Evelyn and I haven’t talked much, due to me distancing myself. But she hadn’t tried to reach out either. I’m sure though, that she’ll be at the party.

Having finished my make up now, I look at myself in the mirror. I color corrected my red eyes from crying, well. That as Well as my dark eye bags from sleeping bad.

I was never the type of person to cry a lot. But recently… i was crying because of Chris. But I hate him. Yet he was making me cry, wishing that he was here to comfort me

I hum a tune that’s been stuck in my head.

I just wanna rub my eyes harshly, and just start crying again. I’ve been dreaming of Chris. All in different scenarios.

Sometimes we fucked, cuddled, or even argued. Other times he was with charlotte; or someone else. And other times I was with someone else and saw him in the corner of my eyes.

I’ve been sleeping bad at night, so occasionally I’d have naps after school. Wich didn’t really help much since I’d dream again.

I sigh staring back at myself. And it feels like the more I stare into the mirror, the more my face morphs and changes. That doesn’t look like me.

I purse my lips. My hands slam on my vanity as I aggressively get up.

I let out a harsh sigh moving away from the vanity.

I get a notification from my phone, notifying me that my Uber is here. I snap out of my trance. Honestly I’m so glad that that caught me off guard because I actually might’ve broken that mirror if it hadn’t.

I grab my tiny handbag and shove my phone into it. Then I just walk outside.

Once I’m in the Uber again I drift away in thought.

Chris had done nothing but mess with me, since I’ve known him. Since forever.

Now I’m in my tiny dress, my ass probably showing slightly when I walk, and I’m gonna get laid from someone other than Chris.

Maybe I can obsess over someone else.

And maybe I can finally remember that Chris is not the only human with a dick. And not the only one who can use it.

Before I knew it we were already there. I could hear the slight music from outside blaring into the car.

I tip the dive and finally get out the car.

I heard the car speed say behind me. While the house party in front of me had loud obnoxious music playing.

I swing open the door. I sigh at the tight crowd of people and just decide to card through them.

I’m getting Deja vu from this really. But last time I’d been here I’d seen Chris almost fuck charlotte, and than proceed to fuck me.

Chris..

Chris?

I raise an eyebrow staring back at a person across the room. He was dancing a solo cup already in his hand.

Okay so I was extremely late, so what.

I need to stop going to parties ‘fashionably’ late. By the time I arrive everyone is already wasted.

I purse my lips pushing through the drunk teenagers to get to the kitchen. From where I was standing I could still see Chris.

I need to stop thinking about him.

But how could I do that when he is just a few feet away, probably drunk and dancing with charlotte.

I turn to the counter grabbing some random liquor and pouring it into a, presumably, clean solo cup.

I down half of it in seconds. I need to feel the rush. I need to get drunk.

Honestly I could go looking for Ethan, but than I’d probably hang out with him in the backyard and smoke all light. Or I could find myself some good dick.

★ ★ ★

After a good few drinks I was dancing with some dude. I don’t know his name, and I don’t care to.

This would be a simple hook up.

Before I know it he starts to guide me outside mumbling something to me about how we can fuck at his house.

And honestly I don’t know why I let him drag me out of the party.

I don’t really want to hook up with him, I want Chris. But I won’t stop him either. I don’t care to.

Suddenly we stop walking. And within seconds I feel his hands off of me, and a loud cry echo through the night air.

I turn around to see what’s happening.

It was Chris. He’d punched my possible hook up guy. My mouth falls open. I want to say something. To tell Chris to fuck off and leave. But I want Chris.

I don’t pay attention for one second and suddenly the guy is on top of Chris beating him up.

I can see from their faces that Chris had gotten a few punches in too though. The guy was taller and bigger than Chris. And I remember something about him being an American football player or something.

Chris manages to flip them around beating up the guy. They wrestle on the ground while I just stand there stupidly and watch.

My drunk brain was processing this way too slow.

Suddenly I see Ethan come into my field of view trying to separate the two on the ground, without getting involved.

I feel another presence next to me. And it’s charlotte. The girl looks as shocked as me. but she also looks more sober.

I snap out of my trance, my slow brain having finally caught up.

I put a hand on Ethan’s shoulder to tell him to back off. And once he does I pull them apart. And they let me.

I yell at both of them about how stupid they are to make a scene like this. Both of them look down in shame.

I turn fully standing in front of the random dude. I slap him across the face and tell him to fuck off.

After that everything is a blur really. Once I somehow got Chris to my house, and up the stairs without waking my siblings, we stand in my bathroom.

Chris is sitting on the closed toilet seat. I sprint downstairs really quick to get him some ice, because, half his face was definitely going to be blue by tomorrow.

Once I’m back I put some alcohol on a cotton pad gently dapping it in his skin as he occasionally takes in harsh breaths.

“Why would you hit him?”

I sigh. That’s the first question I’ve asked since we’ve gotten here.

He holds the ice on his cheek, while I tend to a wound on his forehead. He wasn’t cut up too badly though. It was just a fist fight after all.

“Because he was going to take advantage of you” he scoffs as if the answer to that was obvious.

I purse my lips. Honestly I was subjecting myself to it. I was literally begging for anything, I would’ve been fine with that.

“You had no right to intervene.” I purse my lips. I take the alcohol from the sink and put it back in its place in the cabinet.

I help him up. Chris wasn’t walking bad, I just wanted to touch him.

We walk to my bedroom where he sits down on the bed, and I once again stand between his legs.

I take the ice out of his hands to look at his cheek to see how bad the damage is.

And after a moment I feel his arms wrap around my waist. He berries his non-bruised cheek into my stomach.

“You don’t get it cherry” he sighs, relaxing more as he touches me. “He was looking at you in a weird way.”

“Like what?” I ask. My hand goes to his head. I card my fingers through his messy brown hair.

“Like an object.” He mumbles so lowly, I barely even understand it.

“Oh and you don’t?”

The question is asked flatly. I just look down at him blankly not thinking anything of it.

“No.” He pulls away to look up at me. He looks at me like he is insisting he’s telling the truth.

“I may be rude, but I never look at you like you’re an object.” He scoffs at the accusation. He rolls his eyes hard.

“You don’t?” I ask flatly, not bothering to even act surprised. As much as in hate Chris, he doesn’t treat me bad. Necessarily. He’s just a dick.

He grumbles disagreements turning his face fully into my stomach as he keeps holding me closer.

He starts to complain about his head hurting, and how he fought someone for me and whatever.

I pull him off of me slightly. I was still holding the ice in my hand. It was a bunch of ice cubes I had put together onto some towel.

I slowly sink to my knees between Chris’ legs. I look up at him through my lashes.

“Want me to take your mind off of things baby?”

I ask in a mildly mocking way. But I was dead serious.

Chris lets out a shaky breath. He tugs his shirt off, quickly throwing it off to the side. “Please” he sighs out.

I tug at his belt trying to undo it slowly, to tease him more.

“God I’ve missed you so much.”

His breaths are shaky. His eyes close for a moment. He was getting so worked up and bothered already.

“Have you?” I ask teasingly. He purses his lips slightly staring down at me. He undoes the button on his jeans and finally slides them down.

I help him take them off fully. Then I toss them away.

I look up at him watching him, as he sat only in his boxers in front of me.

“Fuck, you gonna be all submissive like last time?” I mock still looking up at him.

“Cherry, don’t tease please.” He sighs looking down at me.

I stand up quickly and turn to face away from him. Since the dress was a halter dress. I pull my hair to my from teasingly.

“Be a sweetheart and undo this for me real quick.” I don’t wait for long. His hands find my upper back undoing the string of the halter.

I turn back around again letting the top fall, revealing my lacy bra underneath.

I wiggle the dress around a little bit to slide it down. I slip out of it and then kick it away. I was standing in front of him in my matching lacy bra and thong sent.

His eyes trail my body. He looks hungry and needy. Looking submissive as ever.

I lean down to help him take his boxers off. And once he does I sit back down between his legs.

I look up at his dick. And it’s the only one I’ve seen in a while. It’s the only one that I’ve ever found pretty.

Never thought that was possible. But here we are.

The tip was the same red as he has on his cheeks. He was painfully hard and it had pre cum leaking.

I cup it in my hand starting to teasingly slowly jerk him off. “Y/n/n, cherry, please” he whines loudly, to wich I stop my movements.

“Chris” I hiss under my breath my expression harsh. I slap his thigh for a moment to catch his attention. I squeeze his cock lightly.

“My siblings are home. Shut the fuck up”

I hiss. Usually I wouldn’t mind, but my siblings are younger than me. 4 and 5 years. Me being 18, they’re 14 and 13. They don’t need to hear my childhood friend that they have also known for ages get fucked.

“Sorry, sorry” he huffs under his breath. I watch as Chris leans back in his arms looking down at me.

I take one of the ice cubes from the ice in the towel. I then proceed to put it right on his aching tip.

He flinches at the contact of the cold ice in his burning hot skin. I grin at the reaction, watching the way his dick twitches.

“You’re such a tease” he scoffs, to wich I just chuckle.

I drag the ice cube down his shaft before putting it back on the towel with the other few ice cubes. I knew it was gonna melt but honestly I couldn’t care less.

I start to jerk him off slowly again. I lean down to place a peck on the tip, and then proceed to suck him off slowly.

I swirl my tongue only keeping the tip in and staying teasingly slow.

I hear Chris let out a sharp huff, throwing his head back.

“Come on, ma” he says under his breath. His hand snakes into my hair, Slightly gripping at it. And then he harshly pushes me down, making me deep throat him for a second.

I choke on it for a second. Chris starts to move my head, yanking on my hair. I was deep throating him roughly.

I keep my hands on his thighs and pull off. “Don’t” I huff pushing away his hand from my hair, And then smoothing it down again.

I go back to licking a teasing stripe up his shaft, before I go back to deepthroating him, jerking off what I can’t fit in my mouth.

“Ma- I’m-“ he sighs. He was leaning back on his arms his head thrown back. He was trying so hard to keep his moans and groans minimal and as quiet as possible.

I pull off and chuckle. I kiss up his sensitive shaft while looking up at him. Then I get up and hover over him.

I connect our lips in a deep passionate kiss. And while I continue kissing him I lean over starting to straddle him.

Still while kissing him, I start to slowly sink down on his length making both of us moan.

When he bottomed out in me I pull away. My hands go to his shoulders as I just sit there for a moment.

My cunt was aching at the stretch. I had to get used to it again, since we hadn’t hooked up in a while.

I haven’t hooked up with anyone other than Chris in a while. And the last time I had it was not nearly as pleasurable as when I did it with Chris.

“So good for me, baby” I mumble under my breath leaning in more as I wrap my arms around his neck.

His hands trail over my thighs to my hips to hold me.

“Just for you ma.” He mumbles back. We’re so close I can feel his soft breath in my face. He just looks so kissable right now. With his lips plump and swollen like that.

“Oh yeah? Didn’t get pussy from someone else, hm?” I say again my tone low and harsh.

I start to gently grind into him. His hands on my hips don’t stop me or help me either.

“Fuck-“ Chris’ breaths are heavy as he tries to keep his voice low. “You’re the only girl I’ve been fucking.” He admits lowly, the blush on his cheeks only deepen.

“Oh, am I?” I mock as I start to slowly lift myself. I start to ride him, his hands on my hips only being there to steady my movements.

“God- you’re gorgeous” he breaths out staring up at me. His eyes stay locked on mine.

One of His hands starts to trail up my side. And once he reaches my bra, he pulls my body closer to him so he has better access to undo it.

Both his hands back down to my waist now actually helping me ride him harder.

I clench my teeth my moans coming out as sharp breaths as I try to keep quiet. I’m doing a better job than Chris is though.

I put a hand on his mouth to muffle his groans further.

“God- you’re doing so good for me baby.” I pant under my breath, still trying to keep as quiet as possible. My hips pick up pace even more. I continue moving, his tip pressing against my cervix repeatedly.

He mumbles back an agreement, my hand still keeping him quiet.

I continue to ride him at a harsh pace until I feel the knot in my stomach get tighter, ready to snap.

“Chris- I’m so close-“ I breathe out trying to keep myself from moaning.

Chris gently takes my hand from his face putting his own hand on my mouth to muffle my sounds.

“C’mon ma, come for me” he bites his lip. leaning back slightly, he watches as I do all the work. “Go on, get off on my cock”

My pace starts to become more messy and uncontrolled. Chris was also not helping, doing nothing except keeping his hands on my face.

With a muffled moan I slam myself down one last time. My head falls forward as I feel my orgasm wash over me. I feel warm and so relieved.

He takes his hand from my mouth, he then leads me to him by my neck and presses our lips together.

His hands both go back to My waist. just holding my body close to his.

I could still feel him rock hard in me. I knew we weren’t done, but I was appreciating the break.

Chris pulls me off gently and picks me up. He turns us around so he is on top of me.

Us fucking in missionary was always rare as hell. Because we’re there for the benefits. -And according to Chris, he hates my face so much he doesn’t want to see it.

well at least that’s what he used to tell me.

He slides his dick through my folds, before slowly pushing in.

I sigh feeling him fill me up again.

In our enemies with benefits situation we never did anything that felt intimate. The sex felt like sex, and not love. And that’s how it worked. It was good like that.

But like this, Chris, his blue eyes staring right into mine. The way he kept his hand at the curve of my waist, his other hand holding him up placed next to my head.

We were so close, I could practically feel him breathing on my face.

This felt so intimate, like something we, as people who hate each other, shouldn’t be doing

And that’s exactly what it was.

Well I guess we already made the first mistake when we first hooked up.

We were never meant to be. Not like that. Not like this.

So why did it feel so good though?

“You good ma?”

Have I been staring? Probably. But how can I help myself when he is so close to me, looking ever so handsome.

“I’m good. Please move” I whine trying to keep my voice low.

He sinks down, his face burying in the crook of my neck as he starts to move. All slow and sensual.

we barely ever did missionary, and when we did, his face was as far away from mine as possible. But right now it seemed like he was trying to be as close to me as possible.

He occasionally groans into my skin, sending tingles down my spine and right to my aching core. I try to keep my voice low, but still let a few soft moans slip.

“Y/n?” He says abruptly. He keeps up the slow sensual thrust, keeping himself buried deep. Yet he sits up slightly, his forearm next to my head holding him up.

“Mhm?” I say lowly not really trusting my voice.

Our eyes lock. Chris swallows. My eyes trail his features, trailing down to his chest, to his lips and back to his eyes again.

“Can I come in you?”

I raise my eyebrow at the question. Usually we used condoms. I mean I’m on the pill but according to Chris he ‘doesn’t want to take any risk’. But recently we had done it like that more than we had since the whole arrangement started.

“ ‘corse” I mumble back.

And before I know it Chris is picking up pace. He doesn’t move back, keeping himself hovering right above me our eyes connected.

My core was aching from all the over stimulation. So I shudder when he picks up pace.

He still keeps his strokes sensual and deep. I moan lightly, cautiously keeping my voice low.

He re-adjusts my legs, wrapping them around his torso for a deeper angle.

He picks up pace even more. I throw my head back at the overwhelming pleasure, my eyes closing, my mouth falling open in a silent moan.

Chris doesn’t even bother to make me look back at him. He just lets me enjoy this, and watches. Watches the way I look with my head thrown back in euphoria.

“Chris, Chris- chris-“ I keep my voice low but the more I chant his name the higher and squeakier my voice gets.

Chris takes that as a telltale sign that I’m close, but so was he.

He cups my mouth shutting me up. or atleast muffling my moans and whines.

He picks up pace even more. My eyes go back to meet his, my eyebrows scrunched in pleasure.

I tap his wrist to tell him I’m close. He licks his lips. Of course he knew I was close without me telling him.

His hand stays firmly on my mouth, keeping me quiet. “You’re doing so good, cherry”

His other hand goes to my clit in order to finish me off quicker. He rubs it harshly.

Suddenly I throw my head back again, clenching around him. I feel my release wash over me again.

He keeps pounding into me. But his thrusts get more sloppy and uncontrolled. Until his hips stutter. He gives me one last thrust before his spurts of cum shoot into me.

My legs are tense around his torso from the overwhelming pleasure.

I feel warm and so filled. It felt way more intimate than the countless times we’ve hooked up before.

And the fact that he stays there, collapses on top of me, his face in my neck, gently kissing, And not moving off, only made this feel even more intimate.

After a long while of just cuddling, and being in each other’s presence, Chris sits up. He gently and slowly pulls out, making me wince at the loss of contact.

He stares down at my cunt for what feels like a long time. Until his pointer and middle finger meet it again. Pushing the seed that was leaking out of me back in.

“Chris” I hiss my body shooting up. I was now half sitting my arm propping me up, my other hand going to circle his wrist to stop him from moving his hand.

“Awe poor baby does that hurt?” He huffs in a slight mocking tone. But for once it doesn’t seem menacing.

“Yes. don’t do that” I roll my eyes.

He chuckles at the sassy tone. “Well I gotta make sure you don’t waste it.” He sasses right back.

Chris already prepared for the worst outcome.

“I’m still on the pill.” I huff. I then slowly pull his fingers out of me, seeing the way they were covered in a whole lot of our mixed juices.

He chuckles popping his fingers into his mouth.

Matserlist

A/N: I loved writing this series. But it’ll probably only have one more chapter (so 5 in total). This was my first ever series, and it was so fun to write. Love y’all. My dms & req are open 🩷

‼️please don’t copy my work/idea‼️

Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturniooolos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangeypepsi , @klaus223492 , @t1llysblog

[avatar-anna]

Assistant! Reader x Harry Styles Masterlist

April 2016

“Thank you for meeting me.”

Y/n settled into the seat across from Harry. Her hands curled tightly around her mug, apprehension seeping into her bones. “Of course.”

She had been surprised when Harry called her, asking to meet at the Beachwood Cafe. She hadn’t heard from him in months, not one call or text, not even an email. Not that Y/n really expected much when One Direction finally went on hiatus, but after zero communication, she wasn’t quite sure why he’d called her all these months later. 

“How are you? I haven’t seen you in ages,” Harry asked.

Y/n’s eyebrows raised a bit, but she answered him anyway after taking a sip of her coffee. “Fine, I guess. You?”

“Good!” Harry said excitedly. “Taking a break the last few months has been…I don’t know. Peaceful, but odd, you know? I’ve never had so much time to myself before.”

“Must be nice,” Y/n said, trying to hide the irritation in her voice.

“Yeah, but I realized that I kind of miss it,” he said. “I knew once we decided on the hiatus that I wanted to do my own thing, but I thought I would take a longer break, but I feel like I’m…itching to get back to work.”

That definitely seemed like Harry. Y/n had worked for him for years, and even when there were breaks between tours, he was hard at work—writing, going to Fashion Week, collaborating with other artists, vocal training, even trying new recipes in his state-of-the-art kitchen, which led to a phone call at one in the morning where Harry asked Y/n to come over and see if his macrons tasted "fluffy enough." It seemed only right that he rested for mere months before starting a new project. She could practically picture him at either of his homes in LA or London, scribbling in his leatherbound journal or playing new melodies on his guitar or piano (and the occasional late-night pastry party). As long as she’d known him, Harry had been a hard worker through and through. A little on the wild side when he had some tequila in him, but when it came down to his career, he was focused, determined. 

“Good for you,” Y/n said, meaning it. She always thought he was capable of more. “So what comes next for you? Have you recorded songs already?”

“Not quite. I’m planning a trip to Jamaica to write and record there. It’s remote, serene, a good place to get away. So we’ll have to start booking flights and places to stay and—”

“I’m sorry, ‘We?’” Y/n asked, her brow furrowing with confusion. 

Harry matched her look of confusion with one of his own. “Yeah, I mean—I need you. I can’t do this without you.”

The sentiment warmed Y/n’s heart for a moment, but his immediate assumption that she would drop everything just because he asked her to brought the irritation swarming back. “Mr. Sty—Harry, you know I don’t work for you anymore, right?”

“What do you mean? Are you talking about the hiatus? I just thought we could all use some time off, but…I guess I just thought—”

Harry didn’t finish his thought, but his cheeks were flushed with embarrassment. Y/n would’ve found it cute if he hadn’t been so dense. Resentment still circled around her like a fog, and she wouldn’t let it go so easily, she couldn’t. 

“I was employed by your management, Harry. To be an assistant to a member of One Direction,” Y/n explained. “I was let go. I had to quickly find another job doing something else.”

“Oh.”

Y/n supposed she should’ve anticipated being fired, but she didn’t. There was a lot of information that she was privy to that most people weren’t, secrets that were tightly bound by an NDA when she was first hired, but talks of the hiatus was very hushed. She knew to suspect that somewhere down the line the boys would finally take a break, but it came a lot sooner than she was prepared for, and she was left jobless before she had the chance to line something else up. Y/n thought that Harry would give her the courtesy of a warning, but he said nothing about it to her, didn’t offer much except a side hug after One Direction’s last performance.

So yeah, she was a little bitter.

“I’m—I’m really sorry, Y/n. I know it doesn’t make up for…all of this and everything you went through, but I am truly sorry.”

“Thank you.” 

Y/n believed him, believed that he was sorry for everything that went down, but it still hurt to know she wasn’t someone he was close enough to talk to about all of this at the time. She was Harry’s assistant, she knew that, but they’d been through a lot together. But he was ever the professional it seemed, and it was her job to remember that, not his.

When she realized her coffee was finished, Y/n stood up. “Well, it was good seeing you, Harry. Good luck on your next project. I’m sure it’ll be great.”

“Wait, but—you’re not—you‘re leaving?”

“I have to run a couple errands before work," Y/n explained. She rested her hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. “But really, no hard feelings. I wish you all the best.”

She left Harry at the table, heading for the front of the cafe and toward the busy street beyond. Her heart felt heavy as she walked away, but she tried to shake the feeling that she was walking away from more than just her boss. Former boss. Like her mother always reminded her, she couldn’t be a personal assistant forever.

“Wait!”

Y/n turned on instinct, eyes widening as Harry jogged after her, his little bun bouncing with each step. He skidded to a stop in front of her, green eyes wide and searching. For what, she wasn’t sure, but the heat of his gaze was enough to make butterflies stir in her stomach.

Putting on her best front, she raised her eyebrows, waiting for Harry to say whatever he needed to.

“I wasn’t kidding earlier. I need you, Y/n,” he said. “I—You’re the only one who really knows me, who I know will have my back no matter what. I need a familiar face in my corner.”

I need you, Y/n. Those words were her kryptonite. Year after year, Y/n heard Harry's voice over the phone as he roused her from sleep, read the text messages while she was getting her nails done or watched TV in her hotel room, or on the rare occasion she went on a date. But she had to hold strong. Y/n had been devastated by her sudden layoff, but now she had a life, and she didn't want to get sucked back into Harry's very alluring web of charming smiles, cheesy jokes, and endless adventure. That was his life, not hers.

“I have a job, Harry. I can’t just drop everything and quit because you suddenly want me to—”

“What are they paying you?”

Y/n’s brows furrowed. “Excuse me?”

Harry pushed on. “What are they paying you? I’ll double it.”

Scoffing in disbelief, she said, “It’s not about the money—”

“Triple,” he countered. Harry took her hand in his and squeezed it. He looks desperate, Y/n thought.

“I can’t just quit my job because you remembered I existed,” Y/n said quietly, pulling her hand out of his. She clung to her resolve, hoping Harry would make this easy and just let it go, let her go. “I—I deserve more.”

More of what, she wasn’t sure, but Y/n knew it was true. Harry only reached out because he needed something from her, and that hurt more than she cared to admit. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” Harry said, looking down at his shoes. A pair of scuffed Chelsea boots he wore practically everywhere. Y/n had bought him a pair of Vans one year, an attempt to switch up his wardrobe, but he still chose the boots nine times out of ten. “Just—At least think about coming to Jamaica. Please?”

“Harry—”

“Not as my assistant. As a guest. A friend,” Harry amended. “We’re planning on staying at a huge villa, and I want to make up for being an idiot. Just—Just think about it. Please.”

Despite everything, Y/n found herself wanting to say yes. It was that magnetic pull she felt toward Harry that had kept her working for him for so long. He was an important person in her life, and up until he’d all but ghosted her after the hiatus, she thought she was important to him too. In spite of his misgivings, Y/n still wanted to believe that she was. 

It was so stupid, but it felt good to be wanted by him. She was an idiot, she knew that. But her friendship with Harry was legitimate, he'd just acted like a complete idiot. She'd known him long enough to know he was very capable of acting like an idiot. So even though she shouldn’t, even though she had carefully lined up her reasons not to in a little line, she started to cave. 

But she couldn’t make the decision now. Not when Harry was looking at her with pleading green eyes and his sad little puppy dog face, his cologne dizzyingly lovely. No, she owed it to herself to really think about what she wanted. If getting sucked back into that whirlwind was worth it. Worth getting her heart properly broken when she knew he would never feel the same about her.

"I'll show up at work, you know," Harry said. "I'm not above it. You might think I am, but I'm not."

Y/n had no doubt in her mind that he would. Along with being an idiot, Harry was very stubborn, and very persistent. She had years with him to know that. Did she really need Harry Styles showing up at her place of work?

“Fine, I’ll think about it,” she finally said, trying to pretend like her heart was screaming to just agree. But her heart was an impulsive little shit that was bound to get her in trouble.

Harry’s face broke out into a wide grin, one that displayed those famous dimples and lit up his entire face. It was hard to feel like he didn't think she was the only person on earth to exist when he looked like that, like he was convinced she’d already said yes. “I’ll take it.”

[habken]

Izuku and Katsuki Hospital Comic - Thoughts and Process

I wanted to talk about the process and my thoughts while making this comic! Cause it was A Lot of planning and I feel like talking about how I went about it could maybe be helpful for other people who wanna make comics too ?

Also I just like talking and I've had So Many thoughts about it over the last few months, I just need to get them all out lol

everything is under the cut (it's Very Long) ↓↓↓

Initial Thoughts

I started planning the comic in January, around the time the chapter with the second user's plan to transfer ofa to shigaraki came out. I remember feeling so anxious and sad seeing how devastated Deku was to lose the 'gift' that All Might had passed to him :'((

It made me start thinking about what it would be like to not only go from having all this insane power at your fingertips back to nothing, but also how it would feel to lose the vestiges, which had been his advisers, yapping in his ear and keeping him company for months. How it would feel to go from constantly having people looking over your shoulder back to silence.

Then I thought about what that would mean for his and Bakugou's relationship, which has developed so much over the series. How Bakugou would feel about Deku no longer having ofa, how the two of them would wrestle with old feelings now that Deku would be quirkless again. Bakugou having to face the kid he bullied and Deku going back to a state where the world saw him as "useless" with dreams too big for somebody without a quirk.

I feel like sometimes it's not really taken into account how Deku's past affects him in the present, and that goes for in the actual series as well. Considering he's the main character, it's funny that we never really get too much of a peak inside his mind lol, especially not recently, which is most likely intentional, but I digress.

What I really wanted to do for this comic was circle back to Deku's question to All Might at the start of the series, "can I become a hero without a quirk" because while yes, deku can be a hero, he had to get a quirk to do so. So what happens now that he no longer has it? After all of Bakugou and Deku's development, would Bakugou's opinion on deku pursuing his dreams while quirkless change?

I really didn't want that answer to be no. I didn't want to believe that Deku would have to give up and "be realistic" again, it just didn't feel right for that to be the answer after 400 chapters.

So I wanted to make something that would encapsulate those thoughts! And I felt like the best way to fully get that out was through a scene in the aftermath of the battle, the two of them in the hospital with nothing to do but talk about their feelings.

It was important to me that the doubts they both felt about the future were stomped out, and for there to be reassurance that things between them wouldn't snap back to how it was before UA. That Deku could still reach his dreams even if they did become harder to obtain.

I also felt like narratively it would be a good parallel if Bakugou were to lose something tied to his power too, and with his arm being so bad off in canon, I thought it made sense that there was a chance he could lose it forever.

So it's like they're both coming out of the final battle worse off with huge losses, but no matter what, they're going to fight to achieve their dreams, and they're going to do it side by side :')

At its core, it’s very self indulgent lmao, I didn’t think that we’d get something that sappy and gross in canon (😳) so I wanted to make something for myself :')

Planning

So then I made a first draft!

When I’m making bigger comics, thumbnails are super helpful! They help me see the full picture of what it could look like, and let me change things without putting in too much commitment. So most of the drawings are loose, but occasionally I’ll put in a little extra detail into things that I want to make sure are included in the final work.

There’s three main things I consider when thumbnailing for comics; expression, composition, and dialogue. Each of these things have a huge influence on each other, so keeping them all in mind when roughing out your drawings is important!

How it usually works is I play out the scene in my head like a movie and roughly come up with dialogue, then I draw characters and expressions based on that dialogue and the visions I had. Simultaneously I plan out approximately where those drawings will go/how much space they'll take up and finally, I add in the dialogue and move things around as needed so everything fits nice together.

Having the dialogue there in the draft lets me know around how big the speech bubbles are gonna be which is a massive help when figuring out paneling. It lets me plan around the bubbles and make sure nothing is too squished!

General tips:

Something I learnt from storyboarding is that establishing a setting for your scene at the start is really important! Most of my comics will start with a long shot or include one early on for this reason. It’s good for making sure readers aren’t confused on where everything is taking place!

Having a variety of shots is good for keeping your story engaging! This comic has a lot of closeups, but I tried to add variety where I could and used a lot of different angles to keep things entertaining even if there isn't that much going on

Final thoughts on this draft:

At this stage, the ending was really different from the final version I ended up with. It was a lot more focused on Bakugou's losses too and the vibe was kinda "well we're both nerfed now but that's chill we can still be heroes." I axed most of that cause I thought it was dumb and wasn’t really the conclusion I wanted lol

After the rough draft, I started sketching everything out and adding in panels based on the composition from the og thumbnails. I also changed the dialogue as I went, focusing on making it sound more natural and easy to read.

This is where the nuances in movement and expression became a bit more refined and speech bubbles where better planned out.

At this stage, establishing clarity and imagining how readers are going to move their eye along the page is really important. Comics are generally read left to right, but you can’t just assume people are going to automatically read it in the order you want, which is why panels and speech bubble locations are so important.

Tips:

A general rule is that along with going from left to right, speech bubbles should be in descending order. This can be broken a bit, but it’s important to remember that the rule is there in the first place for clarity's sake. So if you do plan on breaking it, make sure it's not at the sacrifice of legibility. The human eye is lazy and will jump to whatever seems most logical, so planning things out in a confusing manner is going to make your comic hard to read!

This is another thing I picked up from storyboarding, but keeping in mind the 180° rule is good for clarity as well! In the simplest of terms, if you have two characters in a scene, it’s good to keep character A on one side and character B on the other, and not switch those sides willy-nilly, otherwise it can get confusing. This isn't as important in comics as it is in film/television, but I still like keeping it in mind.

Final thoughts:

I hated the original ending but I couldn't exactly figure out how I wanted it to go, and I was too busy at that point to dedicate the time I needed towards it, so it stayed as these four panels for while :’)

During the period I stopped working on it, Deku lost his arms which had me panicking lmao, so much of the comic was devoted to his emotions and body language, specifically in his hands. I just went "am I gonna have to redo everything? Do I give him prosthetics?" and I was fully ready to rework the entire thing but Eri came in clutch for Deku (and me) <3

After Deku started getting hurt, I didn't really like the idea of him being discharged and sitting with a still injured Katsuki, and wanted it to be clear that they were both still in the hospital, so I had to axe poor Deku's "hospital gown" shirt for actual hospital garb </3

At some point during april-ish, I finally added in a new beginning and end, which took the comic from four pages to seven. I felt like the new parts added a lot more levity and humour which were needed, and I think it helped make Izuku and Katsuki feel closer than before.

For these pages, I skipped the thumbnail stage and jumped straight into full page stuff, which felt easier because they were kind of just add-ons.

Something I specifically liked were the first two panels in the last page. Fun fact, but a few days after I sketched those out, horikoshi released that art of to two of them smiling together and I went !! That's the vibe I wanted !! Me and Horikoshi are on the same wavelength! That was a good day lmao.

At this point, though, while new parts added a lot more to the story and brought it closer to the vibe I wanted, they also messed with the tone and overall pacing and it ended up feeling really off. Deku was now doing this weird 180 from being super sad and upset to then immediately joking around and goofing off with no acknowledgement of anything Katsuki was saying, which had been fine enough when it was just 4 panels, but very off-putting once I made the comic longer

...So I decided to add even more panels :')

I went back to my original ideas, and part of what I wanted to get across originally was the doubts about Izuku's future from here on out, and the worry that things would go back to how they were before he got ofa. I realized those initial things which had fueled the comic were no longer really part of it, and I wanted to change that.

When I thought up the idea of visuals surrounding their middle school selves, I felt so smart LMAO. I think it ended up being the thing that brought the entire comic together.

Izuku reverting back to that anxious, unconfident state, spiralling into himself, and mumbling out all his insecurities, including his fears about losing Katsuki's friendship (and yet still somehow more worried about Katsuki's feelings than his own). And in turn, Katsuki remembering and seeing Izuku as that kid again, and his own fears of becoming a bully once more.

It better explored what I wanted to originally get across and delved more into their feelings, so that the jokes and levity at the end felt like they were earned, rather than being a rapid shift in tone.

(The only other thing that changed was the some of the panels in the first page. I changed up the speech bubbles and got rid of a panel so it would be less cramped and easier to read.)

At this point, I was still having trouble figuring out how to tie everything in and segway pages 6-7 into the ending organically, so it sat like this for around a month.

Then chapter 423 released and the battle was over and I realized how little time I actually had to get the comic out. I knew that the next chapter could possibly make my entire comic obsolete, so I hauled ass :D

These were the final plans before I cleaned everything up! I changed around some of the panels to make the story flow better, I figured out how to tie everything in, and I finalized the dialogue!

At this point all the panelling was redone because I wanted more space in between them. Before, it felt really cramped and I think adding in more breathing room made it feel slightly less overwhelming for readers.

The biggest changes from the previous draft:

First, obviously, I finished the middle school stuff and figured out how to get from one part to the next. This was the hardest part of the planning, but I ended up deciding that Deku would spiral, Bakugou would kind of bring him out of that, they'd hug and then Bakugou would reassure him. I also included motifs relating to their childhood to be reminiscent of The Apology, and Katsuki's thoughts going back to them sharing the special All Might cards, them at the lake, etc. As if this was another healing moment for each part of them; their current selves, their MS selves, and their childhood selves too

I then changed some of the panels in the first page. I switched the direction of the diagonal line in the first few panels because I thought it made it more clear which way to start reading and made the comic flow better.

In the fourth page, I added a panel after Deku starts crying, because I felt like it worked better with the dialogue, and brought in more of Katsuki's POV into the story

The sixth page doesn't really look different, but there was a lot of resizing going on panel-wise. The bottom panel doesn't take up as much space and the panels up top are a little bigger

The final big change was the eighth page. I added in an extra panel and changed up a lot of expressions/dialogue so there was more of a natural transition between the heartfelt moments and the two goofing off

I then made some final changes and drawover notes before I started a week of cleanup and colouring!

Cleanup/Colouring Stage

Cleaning up my sketches usually just means duplicating the layer, putting the original layer at 5% opacity and.. cleaning it until it looks nice lol. It's the easiest way for me to work because I hate doing lineart.

This is what my sketch vs final usually looks like. The biggest change was adding in bandages into all the drawings lol.

For speech bubbles, I drew them all by hand, created a flat colour layer underneath in white, duplicated that and filled it in with black and shifted it with the transformation tool to make a drop shadow effect.

It took me two days to colour the whole thing :')

Usually when I colour, I work in a pretty painterly way, but I thought flats/cell shading would be a lot faster for this. I was right but it still took Very Long.

The smartest thing I did was put colour swatches of each colour I was using on a separate layer above everything else so I could easily use the eyedropper and get the right colour without having to reference them from another page. It was a big time saver!

I colour all on a single layer so I don't have progress photos to show, but for each drawing, I roughly added in all the colours in the approximate locations they'd be, and once I did that for every single panel, I went back and cleaned them up one by one.

And that's that! After colouring was done, I added my signature, posted it, and took the nap of the century.

Final, Final Thoughts

I worked... Very Hard to get the comic out before leaks night and even if it was just a few hours, I'm so glad I was able to do it cause when I saw the actual chapter I lost my mindddd

I feel like as the comic progressed, Katsuki's feelings took a backseat and if I was to redo it, I'd probably put a bit more emphasis on that than I did in the final version. I feel like his ~inner turmoil~ didn't fully come through the way I wanted it to. I didn't want it to be an immediate acceptance — I wanted the fact that he was struggling with his past to be evident too — but with the focus being so heavily on Izuku, Katsuki's inner thoughts get a bit lost which is too bad </3 Good thing is Horikoshi had the exact opposite idea as me, so it all worked out :D

I'm really proud of how the comic turned out, and I'm so happy to have gotten such a positive response to it! Thank you for reading if you got this far and thank you for reading my silly self-indulgent hospital comic :)

[guiltysungho]

— boynextdoor if they were gonna do a public confession.

genre : tags. fluff, confessions, f2l

wordcount. 200 - 400 each

a/n. i hope y’all like this i was kicking my feet thinking about these. same vibe as the first headcanons (public) but now its inclusive not 18+ who jumped?? :D

sungho;

ᡣ𐭩ྀི you had been getting used to each other’s company, you only recently met through a friend but the feelings were undeniable.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི one of the reasons he felt so drawn to you was your similar taste in movies, every time he’d bring up a favorite you would gasp in excitement, sharing your love for the movie as well.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི you would often stay up just reminiscing of the first time you watched a comfort movie, the first time made you cry all the emotions in it, shared with your new favorite stranger.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི it was lucky that there was a outdoor movie theater open in the city, it was fate that they were showing one of your shared favorites. he had to take you there, and maybe he would let the words slip.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི watching the movie together, the sun setting in the background, he knew it was the perfect moment.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི bringing your gaze to his with a his hand on your chin, the sound of the movie playing in the background as he echoed the words to you.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི “i want you. i want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.”

ᡣ𐭩ྀི the curve on your lips planted a fire in his heart, watching as you leaned closer, eyes bouncing between yours and the gap in your lips.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི one pull by the collar and his lips were all yours.

riwoo;

ᡣ𐭩ྀི he knows what this feeling is, why your proximity makes his whole body heat up but he just didn’t expect to feel this with you.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི whatever you were feeling wasn’t clear to him, you had been friends for the longest time so any display of affection could mean anything.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི he could be misinterpreting your quiet sweet nothings whispered into his neck whenever you cuddled on the couch, your soft lips grazing his adam’s apple every now and then forcing him to divert his focus.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི maybe you didn’t mean anything when you’d tell him, how much you missed him in the dead of the night when you were away.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི but it was all getting to him and he was really hoping it meant something.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི he knows it could wait, you were at a park under a tree just watching people pass by. you rested your head on his chest with his arm wrapped around you, he couldn’t tell if you were asleep or not but the words couldn’t wait.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི “i like you here in my arms, i find myself loving you more when you’re so close” he whispers to you, you’re quiet so he continues, he could at least get it off his chest.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི “i genuinely do love you, in ways i don’t even understand, more than you know.”

ᡣ𐭩ྀི when you look up, he’s obviously flustered he thought he’d been talking to himself but you heard it all. the smile on your face relieves his tension, and then you let him know your love with a delicate kiss.

jaehyun;

ᡣ𐭩ྀི you probably already knew how jaehyun felt about you, everyone did. he never really tried hiding his feelings even though he didn’t explicitly expose them.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི it was in his touch that you knew, his hands would always find their way in your hair, pushing a couple strands behind your ear when you were busy. using childish tactics just so he could hold your hand occasionally.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི and yet he never told you his true feelings, because your feelings were never truly clear but now he could tell.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི he took you out to a karaoke bar, he knew what he wanted to do and how he wanted to do it. he wanted you to feel special amongst the crowd because that was what you were to him.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི after a few duets and a couple drinks, he goes up on the mini stage picking out a song, glancing up at you before starting.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི “this song is called bad by wave to earth, i’m dedicating it to all the good in my life” he’s addressing the public but he’s only talking to you.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི his voice is perfect with the song, not a single crack just pure melody, beautiful harmonies for you. he bounces off the stage, singing as he makes his way over to you.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི “i’m sorry i made you wait, i love you” he smiles watching you blush at his words spoken loudly in the mic.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི pulling the mic away from his lips, you whisper the words back before placing a kiss on his lips. as soon as you pull away he brings the mic back to his lips, “she loves me y’all”

taesan;

ᡣ𐭩ྀི he hates that he likes you because he doesn’t want to be one of those guys that can’t keep a female friend but the feelings are clearly there.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི he doesn’t show it and doesn’t plan on telling you, he just chooses to enjoy having you as a friend, instead of self sabotaging.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི it felt impossible that you would reciprocate the feelings anyways because you had mentioned liking someone for the longest time so he was sure of his choice.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི you would go out often together to your favorite spots, sharing your interests, new or old just rediscovering yourselves through music or art.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི this time around he brought you to a different vinyl store from the one he usually went to, bigger with more variety. he’d encourage you to pick out a few records to listen to, picking a couple of his own for you to listen to.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི there were no booth just vinyl players with connected headphones, he helped you setting up the music. glancing over your shoulder to him as he grabbed the headphones, placing them on your ears letting the music play for.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི whenever you became a part of his safe space, it made him want you more like you were meant to be here with him.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི he just leaned over on the side watching you enjoy the music you picked out, telling him what you thought of the songs as they played, he couldn’t help the adoring smile on his face.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི “i picked out this song specifically for you, it makes me think of you” he tells you, unaware you can hear him clearly even with the music.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི Something by the Beatles, the lyrics make it clear but his words clear any doubts.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི “you drive me crazy” he scoffs at himself, ruffling his bangs before turning back to a shelf. you take off the headphones and make your way over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder for him to turn to him, his brows flinch at the sight of you so close but then he smiles. you smile back as you pull him in closer towards you arms around his neck, kissing him cautiously.

leehan;

ᡣ𐭩ྀི at first he just thought he just found you pretty, you were undeniably one of the most attractive girls he’d met. physical attraction would make sense but that really wasn’t it.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི not when everything you did brought him joy, just watching you swipe through your phone aimlessly, he found himself smiling like a fool.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི you weren’t even that close but everything he learned about you made him want to know you more, your likes and dislikes, your dreams and aspirations, he wanted to be the one you shared those thoughts with.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི when you agreed to spend the day with him, he made up his mind to be honest about his heart.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི he waited patiently for the right moment at the end of the day after watching a movie together, a nice walk in the cool winter breeze leading you to an ice rink.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི the smile on your face as you got on the ice together made it worth the wait, you were unsteady taking little steps while holding on to the wall.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི you’d apologize for your clumsiness after almost slipping a couple times but he was just glad to see you having fun even after losing your balance you’d laugh it off. looking at the pure bliss on your face, he only wanted it to last.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི “here take my hands” stretching his hands open for you to hold, “just follow my movements, don’t pay attention to anything else. if you fall i’ll catch you trust me.”

ᡣ𐭩ྀི so you did as he said holding onto his hands, slight panic in your eyes as he started gliding backwards allowing you to move along with him, shaky eyes watching your feet “hey look up at me, you’re doing fine”

ᡣ𐭩ྀི “you’re doing so well, i’m impressed” he says looking at you with a dazed smile. it happens in a flash, his eyes widen as his body falls back pulling you along with him.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི the fall isn’t a painful one maybe since you were on him, you pull away from his chest a surprised smile on your face as you check up on him. an embarrassed laugh escapes his lips and then a pause as he realizes how close you were, his eyes are locked on your lips for a second before coming back up to your eyes.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི “i want to kiss you, right here in front of everyone” his hand reaching towards your face, pushing your hair behind your ear, “tell me that’s okay”

ᡣ𐭩ྀི one silent nod from you and his lips are on yours, kissing you so gently the cold ice under your knees adding to the chills across your body.

woonhak;

ᡣ𐭩ྀི woonhak likes you, he likes your laugh, he likes your groans, he likes your burps, he likes your everything. he doesn’t really know why but you’ve been the only thing on his mind ever since he thought of you.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི he’s not sure how you feel but he doesn’t really worry about it, he’s too focused on being completely enamored by you.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི your voice from across the room, discussing a random topic with your friends, makes coming to class worth the while. even if that’s the only thing he listens to.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི he knows you’ll show up to his basketball game, you always do thats where he first met you. your loud cheering, tiny jumps of joy every time his team scored made him curious, it wasn’t unfamiliar to him but you were.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི and there you were once again, a cute wave to him the moment you noticed him on the court. he could get used to that, your little gestures just for him.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི the whole match he barely could keep his eyes off you with every ball bounce came a glance in your direction, whenever he’d score he’d flex his arms up at you with a big smile, proud of his achievement.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི he knew he had to make this shot in the last minutes of the match, less for the team and more for you.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི “hey y/n! this last shot is for you, i’m taking you out after this” he yells as he sprints across the court dribbling the ball, dodging the opposing team before shooting the ball through the hoop with a light jump.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི as the ball passes through the match ends, he turns to you shocked by his own skills, jogging over to you before lifting you up in his arms.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི “did you love that?” he looks up at you up in his arms, you can’t help the smile growing on your lips as you look at him, “i love you” he says under his breath.

[maxwhathappened]

Order #1

pairing: Max Verstappen x reader

warnings: language

word count: 1,171

order:

waffle cone - angst

butter pecan - “I can’t imagine my life without you.”

espresso - “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

orange soda float - secret relationship

You were waiting in Max’s hotel room. He was out celebrating after a win—out of obligation he told you. It didn’t take any of the sting out of the fact that Max had you hiding away in his hotel room instead of by his side. You had been dating for eight months. Occasionally paparazzi had gotten a photo of you together, but his manager had been able to stop all of them from going public. Max had literally paid to keep you a secret. You were upset about it. You had been for a while. But as you sat alone watching tv in the empty penthouse Max had booked you knew that you couldn’t accept it anymore.

It was 12:36 AM when Max finally came back from his night out. You were seated on the couch when he got there. You turned to look at him and he had a wide smile on his face, happy to be with you again. His smile quickly fell when he met your eyes. You had never been good at hiding your emotions. He walked over to you slowly, unsure exactly what it was you were upset about.

“Thank you for staying up for me, schat,” Max said as he sat down beside you. “I missed you.” You scoffed.

“You missed me?” You questioned, your tone harsh. Max furrowed his eyebrow.

“Of course I missed you,” he tried to assure you. “I wanted to be back here with you.” You sighed.

“You didn’t want me there with you though? You just wanted to be here with me?” You asked. Max was confused to say the least.

“What’s this about, schat? Let’s just talk,” he requested. You took a deep breath.

“Why aren’t we public yet?” You asked. Max was quiet for a moment.

“I like having you to myself,” he said thoughtfully. “The world knows everything about me, but you and I are the only ones who get to know about us.”

“They won’t know about us just because we go public,” you said. “It’s not like they get to watch us when we’re at your place together.” Max cringed a bit at the words ‘your place’ from your mouth. His place was your place. It was your home. He knew it was too soon to ask you to move in with him, though you basically already did. You only stayed at your place when he was out of town and you couldn’t go with him.

“They won’t see us at our home,” Max said. “But they’ll know more about us than you or I want.” You stared into his icy blue eyes, emotion pouring out of yours.

“I don’t want to be a secret anymore, Max. I want this to be real,” you told him.

“This is real,” Max told you firmly. “People don’t need to know for this to be real.”

“But we can’t be together. Not everywhere. I can’t kiss you in the garage before races. I can’t hold your hand or even walk into the paddock with you,” you replied.

“Is that important?” Max asked. “Isn’t it enough that we love each other?” You stared at him blankly. You hadn’t really been expecting him to say ‘no.’ It seemed like you were overdue to be public to you.

“I want to love you everywhere,” you told him quietly.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea. You’ll be safer if nobody knows that I care about you,” Max said. You felt tears coming to your eyes and looked down at the ground. Max raised an eyebrow. He was about to speak up when he heard you sniffle. His face immediately fell. “Fuck, I’m sorry,” he spit out quickly. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Max pulled you into his lap at once, letting you tuck your head into his neck and wrapping his arms tightly around you. You let out a small sob and Max felt his heart break.

“Shh. Shh. Shh,” he soothed. “It’s alright.” He tucked some loose strands of hair behind your ear and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I’m sorry,” he murmured again.

“I just don’t get it, Max,” you whimpered. “You tell me you love me, but you don’t want anyone to know. It just feels like I’m temporary.”

“Baby, no,” he cooed. “You are not temporary. I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“Then why do you still want to keep us a secret?” You asked.

“I want you safe, schatje,” Max explained. “Once the world knows we’re together the press and fans will start criticizing you for everything you do.” He sighed. “I don’t want that for you.” You were quiet for a moment.

“I would rather the world hate me and know that I love you than if they didn’t know I loved you at all,” you said thoughtfully. Max smiled softly. He lifted your head from his neck so he could meet your eye, cupping your cheek and gently wiping away a stray tear with his thumb.

“You want the world to know you love me?” He asked.

“And that you love me back,” you said. Max chuckled.

“Do you want to officially come to the next race with me then?” He asked. “You can kiss me good luck before the race and we can hold hands in the paddock,” he suggested.

“Really?” You asked.

“Yes, schatje,” he confirmed. “I want you to be happy.”

“You make me happy,” you said. “Just you. I don’t need anything else.”

“But you need me to show you off, hmm?” He teased you.

“I need to be with you when you celebrate,” you told him. “I’m proud of you, Maxie. I want to be there with you.” Max smiled softly.

“It’s amazing how you tell me something so simple and it’s better than a whole night with my friends celebrating me,” he said.

“Imagine how great a night where we’re celebrating together could be then,” you replied.

“The two of us can celebrate when we get back to our home,” Max said.

“Our home?” You had noticed when he said it earlier, but when he said it a second time you couldn’t resist.

“You might as well move in,” Max said boldly. “You already have a key,” he reasoned. “And my closet is full of your clothes,” he added before you could reply.

“The only people who know we’re dating right now are our families, but you want me to move in with you?” You asked with a chuckle.

“I don’t see the issue,” he replied. You giggled before leaning in to kiss him. He gave you a dopey smile when you pulled away. “I love you,” he sighed helplessly. Another giggle escaped your lips.

“I’ll move in,” you told him. “I want to see an instagram post about it though,” you teased him.

“Liefje, if I’m not hiding you anymore then I’m going to be showing you off,” Max said. “There won’t be a person alive who doesn’t know you’re mine.”

[certifiedsexed]

gen/good faith question — is it disrespectful to lesbians or queer people in general if i were to identify as a he/him lesbian?

for context: i’ve always known i was into girls, and for some of my life, i considered myself a girl as well. there was nothing about me that made me want to make that choice, other than the fact that i was perceived by everyone around me as a girl and expected to be one.

and then i started to question my gender. i don’t really feel intrinsically as though i have a gender, but at the same time, certain forms of gendered language and some forms of gender expression make me happy and comfortable. at the same time, some forms of both those things don’t.

the thing is, most gendered language (i’m only using this here for clarity — i know that really no language is gendered and people can use whatever terms, pronouns etc to refer to themselves and that doesn’t have to correspond to stereotypical gender that usually goes with that term) and most gender expression that i enjoy are both usually correspond to those used by men, and sometimes those used by nonbinary people. for example — i like being called a guy, i like referring to myself a person, i like dressing in traditionally ‘masc’ clothes, and i would love to be perceived as androgynous sometimes.

but also, on the flip side, i usually like traditionally ‘female’ gendered language and expressions applied to me. this is a bit of a nuanced thing for me, though! i love wearing dresses and looking ‘feminine’, but only really in private, because to me they’re an example of cross dressing or messing with the gender binary because i don’t consider myself a girl (i don’t consider myself ‘anything’ in regards to gender, as mentioned above — i think the term is agender?), but most people don’t see it that way since i’m usually perceived as female, which puts me off it. additionally, i like she/her pronouns, but only at certain times, and not very often. i would also consider myself genderfluid, in the sense that the pronouns i’m comfy with change… however, usually, those pronouns are he/him, and often they’re they/them, but only occasionally she/her.

so people have asked why i consider myself a lesbian if i feel this way, and that’s due to a lot of factors. it’s because i was always certain of my sexuality before i was certain of my gender (and before i out conscious effort into thinking about it), and so identifying as a lesbian has and still does influence how i see and interact with the world. also, i’m not someone who will ever be able to pass in general society as anything but female — i have d cups, a high voice, am often told i’m ‘pretty’, and am very curvy. so i also identify as a lesbian because as someone who doesn’t intend to do much in the way of medical gender affirming care, the fact that i am constantly perceived as a woman unless i say so (and that’s not always respected) does also have a bearing on how i experience the world too.

i don’t know, i’m just really confused about if i can use this term or not. i’ve spent a long long time agonising over what discovering my gender identity and what that means for me will affect my sexuality, and a lot of that agony now no longer comes from not knowing about myself, but from feeling like i’m being disrespectful. i don’t want to hurt the queer community, specifically lesbian woman, or trans guys, and i feel like i’m doing both. but on the other hand… he/him usually really fits me. lesbian usually feels right too. i took a long time to come to terms with both of those, and so they feel very hard-won — like i can finally exist knowing who i am, and so to not be able to deceive myself in the way i’ve tried really hard to find is something that makes me really sad. but i would love any advice! :)

There is no way for your pronouns to be disrespectful to someone else unless we're talking about your pronouns being slurs that do not apply to you. Your pronouns have nothing to do with anyone else [exception aside].

Your sexuality is also no one else's business but your own. You don't have to justify your pronouns or your sexuality: they are not hurting anyone. You are not hurting anyone.

None of what you're talking about is disrespectful to anyone. Its just your personal identity. That has nothing to do with anyone else.

All of this has no affect on the lesbian or trans community by large except that one more he/him lesbian becomes apart of it, which is actually a win!

If you makes you happy, go for it! If it feels right, go for it! It sounds like you've found a label and pronouns for you and that's awesome! Congratulations. <3

I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions. <3

[believesthings]

Paper Thin // Ted Lasso x Reader

Summary: you’ve been secretly listening to your hot American neighbor masturbate through the walls. When you finally do go inside his place for the first time, some interesting revelations come to light.

Warnings: smut. smut. smut. Masturbation, fingering, dirty talk, light anal play, nipple play, body praise, vibrators, slight allusion to violence but nothing is specifically described or mentioned.

You have a filthy fucking habit.

Your vibrator has taken a permanent residence on the empty side of your bed to allow for easy access when you hear the inevitable shuffle on the other side of your bedroom wall.

The entire ordeal started when Ted Lasso came to town. You had heard about the news, of course. Football was a big deal around here and even if you weren’t big into the sport, it was pretty close knit community and a new face, especially an American one, was bound to make some waves.

What you hadn’t expected was for him to be so… hot.

You were at the Crown and Anchor when it first hit the airwaves. You were pulled from your own personal bubble when you heard Peter from the bar shout,

“Farmer fuckin’ Brown is gonna be the new gaffer?”

You pulled your head up to see Ted’s smiling face on the screen, explaining how he was taking over for AFC Richmond.

People weren’t thrilled about it to say the least. You kept quiet though. You had to admit, looking at him, you weren’t mad about it. He seemed exactly like your type. You figured that it didn’t really matter. Most likely, you would never run into the man.

That, as it turned out, was massively inaccurate.

The flat next to yours has been empty for a few months. You’d gotten used to the silence, so much so that when you heard footsteps and a voice, a male voice, on the other side of the wall, your first instinct was to call the police.

You were so startled that you stood there, phone in hand, hovering over your bed. When you heard the knock on your door, you tried not to panic. Making your way slowly to the door, sneaking a glance through the peek hole, you see a disheveled Ted Lasso at your doorstep. You open the door in a haze.

He is hotter in person, you decide. Up close you can see the stubble from where he hasn’t shaved. His sleeves pushed up exposing his forearms. A little tendril of hair over his forehead that you want to run your hands through. Big, bright eyes that you could probably get lost in. What was that Dolly Parton lyric?

Here you come again, looking better than a body has the right to.

That seemed to embody Richmond’s new football manager.

You both stared at each other momentarily. He broke the silence first.

“Hey there! Sorry to bother you so late, I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Ted Lasso, your new neighbor.”

Oh shit. Shit. Shit.

The universe was either smiling down on you or paying you back for a nasty curse in your past life. At the moment, you weren’t sure which way the scales were tipping.

He’s there holding out his hand, seemingly about to drop it when you come to your senses.

“Y-yes. Hi. I saw you on the news. You’re the new coach?” You take his hand and he squeezes yours lightly. You’re only a little embarrassed to admit that it makes you wonder what it feel like for his hands to squeeze other parts of your body.

“That’s right. Well, listen I won’t keep you long, I know it’s late. I just wanted to stop by and say hi. I’ll try not to bother ya too much. Now I won’t lie to you - you’ll probably hear the occasional billy ocean song in the morning or maybe some late night viewings of you’ve got mail, but feel free to just bang on the wall or some thin’ if I ever get too loud for ya.”

You nod, practically unable to form words.

“Oh shoot! I didn’t catch your name.” He pauses waiting for you to give it, which you do.

“Nice to meet ya. Goodnight neighbor!” He flashes you a smile that practically makes you melt before he’s off to his own door.

You were definitely screwed.

The first time you heard him touching himself, you almost didn’t realize what was happening. There was some vague shuffling on the other side of the wall and you were wrapped up in your own world to really pay that much attention. The moans started, light and soft, you couldn’t really be sure what you were hearing but as he got more and more into it, it became clear.

Oh fuck.

You were squirming listening to the sounds he was making. It didn’t sound like there were any other noises so you have to assume he was alone.

You’re practically holding your breath, as if just a simple exhale would give you away and he would stop. One deep grunt in particular, followed by a light bang of his headboard against the wall as he jutted his cock up into the curve of his palm, had you damn near convulsing.

That was the first night you broke out the vibrator. It hasn’t been put back in your drawer since.

You hear the familiar knock of Ted’s hand on your door and you scurry to answer.

“Hey! I baked some goodies for my favorite neighbor.”

Jesus Christ, he bakes too?

“Favorite neighbor, huh? What about Mrs. Shipley?”

He waves you off, “oh I think I might’ve burned my bridge with her a while ago. Bit too loud for her taste.”

“Might not hurt to bake her some treats, get back on her good side. You could get yourself a discount from Shipley’s Steakhouse.”

He looks directly at you when you replies, “Oh now, I love a good steak, don’t get me wrong but what I really value is loyalty and I’m not one to quit, so when I find a favorite… trust me, I stick with it.”

Either you’re hallucinating or his eyes seem to move up and down your body at the end of his speech. Was he still talking about baking? Surely, you’re reading too much into this. He couldn’t be into you, could he?

You can hear him again. You reach for your vibrator beginning to travel down between your legs at the sounds of his moans.

This is also the only time you’ve heard him curse.

“O-oh fuck.”

You close your eyes, trying to picture what he must look like on the other side of the wall.

You have no idea what his typical nightly attire is but for the purposes of your fantasies, you imagine he’s shirtless, legs stretched out, lazily stroking his cock. His eyes are also closed, just like your own, soaking in his own pleasure. Familiarizing himself with every ridge and curve. He doesn’t go too fast at first, wants to feel it steadily build. He keeps a thumb on the tip, rubbing smooth, slow circles. A bit of pre-cum is probably already leaking out, as he uses it to coat the head of his cock. You can hear his moans getting increasingly louder, loosening his inhibitions. He’s probably giving himself smooth, even strokes, thrusting his cock into his own hand.

You follow suit at the idea, grinding your hips in a way that has you fucking yourself against your vibrator.

You can hear his moaning getting more erratic on the other side of the wall and you’re sure he’s close. Thank god. Because you are too.

You hear another string of curses, followed by a final moan that you’re sure is his release and you follow momentarily behind him, trying to remain quiet. If you can hear him through the walls, it stands to reason that he would be able to hear you too.

You both come down from your high together, separated by a nearly paper thin wall.

You fall into a comfortable rhythm with Ted. He brings you baked goods, you chat and flirt at the doorway, you sneak to his door and write little thank you notes. Then at night, you shamelessly fuck yourself while listening to him cum.

You had ended up at Ted’s doorstep after a particularly nasty date. You were rain soaked, shoes covered in mud and shivering.

When he opened the door and you saw him standing there, looking so cozy in his sweater, it almost made you wanna cry.

He didn’t ask questions, he stepped aside for you to come in.

“Gonna run you a bath, alright?”

You nod. You wrap your arms around yourself, trying to warm yourself up.

“Come on, darlin’.”

He’s filled up the tub for you, leaving you alone to get undressed and get settled in.

“Ted?”

He peaks his head around to see you in the bath. “Yeah?”

“Would it be weird for me to ask you to stay in here with me? I don’t really wanna be alone right now.”

He seems momentarily fazed but he recovers quickly. “Yeah, of course.”

He doesn’t make an effort to get in the bath with you, he sits in front of tub, his back against it.

“Not that I don’t appreciate your presence but can I ask what you’re doing here? Is everything alright?”

You don’t answer at first. Weighing it out in your head. He doesn’t rush you, not that you would expect him too.

“Well, I downloaded Bantr..”

You don’t notice it, but Ted stiffens against the tub. Jealously, he guesses. Which is ridiculous. He knows he has no right be. He would never want to be one of those guys that tries to dictate who you could or couldn’t spend time with but he hates you the idea of you with someone else all the same.

“I didn’t really want to do it, to be honest. I mostly did it to support Keeley. Anyway, there was a guy I was talking to on there and we finally went out on a date tonight. It was.. bad.” You wonder at the way your voice cracks at the last word.

“He was… he..” you trail off.

Ted seems to become even more tense. In a tone you’ve never heard from him before, he asks, “Did he hurt you?”

When you don’t respond, he takes long, deep breaths. You’re not giving him much to go off of and his anxiety is filling in the gaps with some pretty nasty scenarios. “Darlin’, I would never want to force you to talk about anything you don’t want to but I need a yes or no answer. I need to know what we’re dealing with here.”

You instantly note the fact that he said what we’re dealing with instead of what you’re dealing with.

“It was awful, Ted. The entire night was just one backhanded compliment after another. He constantly interrupted everything I had to say. He kept making all these little snide remarks. And the poor waitress, he was such a prick to her. At one point, he actually said that the date and I were a waste of time and then he left me with the check and no ride home. So, I walked here.”

“You could’ve called me, ya know. You didn’t need to walk, especially in the rain. I would’ve come and got you.”

“What if you were busy?”

“Doesn’t matter. Nothing could keep me from you.”

You raise your hand up to run your fingers through his hair. He leans back into your touch. “Ted, could you join me, please?”

He turns to fully look at you. “You sure you’re comfortable with that?”

You nod but you had a feeling he would want verbal confirmation. “Yes.” You follow up by asking, “Are you? Comfortable with that?”

“Yeah, course.”

You watch him undress and you scoot forward, drawing your legs up to allow him to slide behind you. He picks you up and slides you onto his lap. You try not to focus on the feeling of his growing erection prodding against your back, instead leaning back and relaxing against his chest. You watch the water pool around knees and see his arms wrap around your front, making his way up your body.

You hear his words rumble in his chest as you press against him. “There we go. You feeling okay?”

You nod, “Yeah. Thank you, Ted.”

You chuckles lowly in you ear. “You don’t need to thank me. This is exactly where you should be.”

He rubs small circles into your hips and asks, “Can I kiss you?”

“I think I would lose my mind if you didn’t.”

He tilts your head up and Leans down to kiss you. You can feel his hand, moving further up your body to begin idly toying with your nipple. You let out an involuntary whimper into his mouth and you can feel him smirking against your lips. The bastard. He definitely knows what he’s doing. When he break apart, he brings his hand up to run a finger across your bottom lip. You open your mouth and suck his finger into your mouth. Ted lets out a sudden guttural groan that tells you that you made a good call.

You flutter your tongue up and down his finger, tightening your lips and sucking. He answers with another growl before bringing his other hand down to continue playing your nipples, rubbing circles, feeling them harden beneath his touch, and then when you least expect it, pinching at them too.

You break away to let out a moan of your own. "You feel so good." You say to him, feeling him continue to toy with your body.

He dips his head down, placing kisses to your neck. "I'm sorry you had a bad date, sweetheart. But that boy clearly didn't know what he had right there in front of him. It probably worked out for the best, you deserve better than that. He wouldn't have been able to make you moan like this anyway."

You peer up at him, "Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?"

He leans down to your ear, "Because I know what gets you going sweetheart. I don't think that vibrator is as quiet as you think it is."

Oh Shit.

You whip your head around at him. "You knew this whole time?"

He nods at you as you shrink you body, trying to hide your face in embarrassment.

"Oh, now there's no need to start getting shy on me now, Darlin'. Do you have any idea how hard it was to keep my cool around you sometimes? You remember that time you came by and brought my phone to my office because I went off and left it at home?"

You nod, trying to focus on his words while you can feel his hands continuing their exploration of you.

"Some of the guys in the locker room were talking about you, how attractive you were and it drove me crazy. I wanted to tell them that none of them had a chance because I knew at the end of the day, you were going home and sharing all pleasure with me. Do you know how wild it made me to know that you were on the other side of the wall, stroking your silky little pussy while listening to me? I had never even laid a hand on you but hearing you break out that vibrator, it was enough to make me want to claim you as mine."

You laugh lightly at this. "I've always been yours, Ted. Since that first night you knocked on my door."

He runs his hands along your inner thighs, soothing you into relaxation. When his fingers began to play lightly over your pussy, he hard you sigh in relief. He keeps kissing down your neck, he nips lightly at your shoulder. He works two of his fingers around your opening, dipping inside to find you wet and ready.

"You wanna know what I thought about all those times I was touching myself? I bet you already know. I was thinking about my pretty neighbor."

You had just enough coherence left in you to crack a joke. "Mrs. Shipley? I'm sure she would be flattered."

He doesn't acknowledge your quip, instead bringing you for another kiss, continuing to finger you under the water of the bath. "There is nothing better than the feeling of you getting wet for me."

He brings his thumb up to rub circles on your clit and you're arching your back against him.

"You're so responsive, aren't you sweetheart? Can you do me a favor? Can you get on your knees for me?"

You do as he asks, feeling his hands stoke along your hips, positioning you against the opposite end of the tub. He kisses down your arched spine, groaning at the sight of you - the swell of your ass rising from the water, bubbles from the soap pooling around you. He takes his hands, rubbing them smoothly over your skin, drinking you in. He leans over you, "I need to be inside you, sweetheart. Would that be okay with you?"

You nodded, your head relaxing against your arms.

You feel him begin to push into you. "Don't worry, honey. I'm not gonna give you a straight plunge to the top of ya. Gotta let you adjust, don't we?"

You gasp and stiffen at the feel of him, new and incredibly full, tapping you part way into you.

He goes back to toying with your body, giving you light kisses, waiting for you to relax against him. He can feel you arch your ass back into his hips. He can hear you gasp and let out a moan as you relax around him. "I was right, you are responsive. That's it baby, open up for me. I can feel you practically fluttering around my cock, honey."

He gives one final push, now fully inside you. He never lets his hands take a break. His fingers are either circling your clit or toying towards your ass. You can feel him all over you.

"You close already? You're taking me so well."

"Yes" you moan out - head rolling against your forearms trying to keep balance.

"Can you help me come baby?" Ted was speeding up a bit now, his thrusts making you brace against the side of the tub.

"Y-Yes."

He brings his thumb against your ass, slowly sliding it into you, you gasp out at the sensation, tensing up at the new feeling.

"I got ya, honey. Just relax. Just wanna make you feel good, nice and full, okay?"

He begins moving his thumb to the same rhythm as his cock, enjoying your moans, rubbing the pad of his thumb against you, he says, "I can feel my cock in you. You feel... so g-good." He groans out. "So tight." He growls more to himself than to you. "You ready to cum for me?"

You were beginning to shake, feeling helpless against the tidal wave of pleasure. The fullness that made you feel split open, the tingling and sparking that indicated that you were so, so close. "Y-Yes."

He hand reaches to tug your clit in between his fingers, "Cum for me, Darling." Your head jerks back, knocking against his collarbone as you shudder blissfully. After a final push of his cock and fingers, he growls and joins you, mouth biting down on your shoulder, absorbing his moans.

Gently sliding out of you, He wraps his arms around your shaking body, wrapping you against him, gently rocking you back and forth while your breathing returned to normal. "You were so good for me." He gives you one final kiss and lifts you from the tub, drying you off with a towel and rubbing coconut oil on the sore parts of your body.

"Thank you, Ted."

"How many times do I need to tell ya, Darling? You don't need to thank me."

He hovers above you for a moment before continuing, "Although I guess there is something you could do for me if you wanted."

"Course, Teddy. You can have anything."

"You can invite me over to your place one of these nights and let me use that pretty little vibrator on you myself."

[strniohoeee]

Can I request a Matt x childhood friend reader, like I’m talking since diapers. But like everyone knows they like each other I’m talking EVERYONE 😭. But they’re both oblivious asf.

Oblivion

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N could not fathom the idea of being in love with Matt. It’s been shoved down her throat by her mother her whole life, and she’s never agreed. But one night she starts to think, and things take a turn🌙

Warnings⚠️: NONEEEEE, hope you enjoy tho🫂

Song for the imagine: Mind Over Matter- Young the Giant

You know you’re on my mind?

And if the world don’t break

I’ll be shakin it

Cause I’m a young man after all

Being an only child makes some people think you have it hard. You know since there’s no one you can really run to other than your parents. However I’d beg to differ.

I have been friends with the triplets and their brother Justin since I was in a diaper. Our moms being friends since high school really made it nice for us. It was an automatic built in friendship.

We had a lot of play dates since I had no siblings and no immediate family my age. I looked at them as my brothers and Justin as an older brother.

Our childhood was so fun, often going up to the Cape with them for the summer since my parents had to work. I never ever felt alone. Occasionally bored when they went on a vacation my parents didn’t let me go on, but still never a dull moment.

Matt and I got the closest since we shared similar interests, but also we felt like the odd ones out. Most times sticking with each other because Nick and Chris had their own group of friends we didn’t really like to hang around with.

My mothers always told me Matt was my soulmate whether it was romantically or platonically. She always said I gravitated towards him the most since we could crawl. I often cringed at this statement because he was like my brother.

I think I gravitated towards him the most because we liked a lot of the same things, and we were more reserved than Nick and Chris. We’d always get the same gifts because well like I said, we liked the same things. After a while our parents only got us one thing we’d both liked so we could share. Like vinyls for our record players, movies, CDs, and even accessories like hats and even rings.

I didn’t think Matt was my soulmate per say, especially not romantically. I mean sure I had a crush on all three of them at one point, but that’s totally normal. I got over it quickly. I even had a crush on Justin, and he’s 7 years older than us. I mean what’s not to like? He was a cool 17 year old with nice clothes, a cool bike and a new phone. To even be in his presence made me nervous. But like I said I got over those crushes quickly.

By the time we got to high school I’d say I never thought of any of them in a romantic way. They were gross teenage boys and I looked at them as stinky brothers. Matt had a lot of trouble attending school, so we didn’t hang out much till we all got home.

I found myself looking for him in the hallways, at lunch and even next to me when the seat was empty. I felt like I started to like him again, but quickly those feelings died down when I had a fair share of experiences with some boys at our school.

Matt really hated the guys I talked to, and I wasn’t sure why. By senior year we had our first argument over a guy I was dating. He told me he’d hurt me and use me, and I was so blind to it that we got into a fight. I didn’t speak to them that whole summer, and to my surprise that guy was a complete asshole like Matt said he was.

I went to a local college while the triplets focused on their YouTube career. After that summer ended I decided to make up with Matt because I really missed my best friend. I swear best friend breakups are worse than breaking up with a significant other.

We were all 18 and living our best lives as the four again. Spending every second of every day together. I tagged along with them while they filmed and did some things around the city.

I had finally gone home after being at their house for 2 weeks straight. Going from campus to their house and back stopping at my house to shower and change, but that was about it.

“Holy shit she’s home” I heard my dad say as I closed the front door

“I know I know the celebrities back home” I said nodding my head

“Where have you been?” My mom asked laughing

“Well to school and then the triplets and then back to school” I said

“I’m about to tell Mary Lou to let you stay there and charge you rent” my dad said

“Ahaha veryyyy funny” I said sitting down across from them

“You and Matt seem to be doing good” my mother said

“Yeah we’re good now” I replied back

“Sooo did you admit your feelings to him yet?” My mom asked

“Feelings?” I said furrowing my brows

“Yeah…you like the kid and he likes you it’s pretty obvious” my dad said laughing

“I don’t like him, and he doesn’t like me we’re just friends” I said crossing my arms over my chest

“Mmm I don’t know about that he seems like a love sick puppy” my mom said

“Yeah whatever” I said laughing

“Even their mom says it. Just confess already you guys are madly in love” she said

“What? Mom don’t be crazy” I said shaking my head

“You better admit to these feelings soon because that boys following you around like a guy under a love spell” my dad said

“You guys are being insane I’m going to bed” I said rubbing my temples

I went to my room and laid in my bed. My hands crossed over my stomach as I fiddled with my thumbs.

In love? No I couldn’t be.

Matt is my best friend, and that’s all.

Well I mean…..he is really handsome, sweet, and funny even though he says he’s boring which he isn’t. He’s super caring, always putting others above him.

He’s always there for me, he loves watching chick flicks with me and reading sad love stories. He loves my poetry that I write, always helping me make it better…..

I mean I couldn’t like him….right?

But then I started thinking

Friends don’t offer you their jacket if you’re cold, they don’t hold your shoes for you when your feet hurt, they don’t pick you up in the middle of the night because you’re sad, they don’t take you on Long Beach walks at night, or take you out to eat and pay EVERYTIME……..they definitely don’t watch romance movies and read sad romance books when you know they hate it. I mean, could he like me back??

No of course not, don't be irrational Y/N….hes just a very very nice friend is all.

My heart started to race and my breathing quickened. I shot up in my bed and looked into the darkness of my room.

Was I in love with Matthew?

The boy who would wipe his nose on me

The boy who would trip me to make his brothers laugh

The boy who would walk by and steal some food from my plate

The boy who would crack a joke and look at me to see if I’d laugh

The boy who waited for me in the rain when I was fighting with my ex

The boy who made me smile

The boy who made me look for him in everything I did

Holy shit…..

I AM IN LOVE??? WHAT THE FUCK???

I began to panic because of course I had boyfriends, but that was because I was bored. I’ve never loved a guy I dated

But for some reason I am in love with Matthew?

Cursing myself out internally because my mom was correct, and so was Mary Lou.

Suddenly my thoughts stopped when I heard something hit my window.

I jumped up from my bed and slowly walked over to my window when small pebbles hit the glass again causing me to flinch.

I looked out the window and to my surprise I saw Matt standing in my lawn??

Was this a cheesy 80s film? Where’s his boombox? And the stupid sunglasses?

I opened my window

“Matt it’s 1AM what are you doing here?” I said in a whisper

“I was bored” he said back

“You were bored? You could’ve texted me” I said raising an eyebrow

“Well yeah…” he said scratching the back of his neck

“Tell me the real reason you’re here” I said giggling

“I also miss you” he said smiling like a dork

“Miss me? Matt you’ve never said you missed me a day in your life” I said leaning on my palms as I look down at him

“Yeah I know, but I don’t know I just have been seeing you for so long that I guess I just really miss your presence” he said laughing a bit

“I’m loving this little Romeo and Juliet moment we’re having” I said laughing

“Oh shut up you know you missed me too” he said trying to throw pebbles up at me

“Mmm I’m not too sure” I said shrugging my shoulders

“And you left your lip gloss in my room” he said digging in his pocket

“That could be one of your girlfriends” I said laughing

“What? No….there's never girls in my room but you” he said pulling the lip gloss out

“Mmm how do I know you’re not lying” I said

“You’re the only girl I know who has used this same exact strawberry lip gloss since we were in 7th grade” he said showing me the gloss

“Alright you win” I said rolling my eyes

“And I never bring girls home” he said again

“I got the point Matthew just say you’re in love with me already” I said laughing playfully

“Not if the feeling isn’t mutual” he blurted out

“What?” I said shocked

“You heard me… Y/N I have been in love with you since we were 10, and if all my gestures haven’t made it possible. Then me standing out here on your lawn embarrassing myself at trying to say I love you better work. If I have to scream it to the world I will” he said swallowing thickly

“I….I” I could not form a sentence

“I’m sorry….this was wrong oh so wrong” he said shaking his head and turning around

I backed away from the window and ran down the steps to my front door.

I swung the door open and walked out and saw Matt walking away back to his car.

“Matthew! Don’t go” I said loudly

He turned around and looked at me stopping in his tracks

“I have been ignoring this feeling for far too long. Everyone around me is telling me how I feel and how you feel about me. I was so scared to open my eyes and realize that you may have been the one for me since forever. I never sat down and thought about it until tonight. When I replayed many interactions in my head. And I couldn’t wrap my head around why I’ve never loved any of my past boyfriends, and that’s because Matthew I’m so madly in love with you” I said breathing heavily

Matt walked over to me and crashed our lips together. I won’t lie, I have kissed plenty of guys before, but I’ve never enjoyed the kisses. I’ve never gotten butterflies or felt my face flush with heat. It had always been matt and it took me so long to realize.

His lips disconnected from mine as his thumb ran over my cheek staring into my eyes.

“I always wondered how many more time I had to watch The Notebook with you before you realized I was so in love” he said laughing

“Oh shut up” I said rolling my eyes and laughing

“God I’m just so in love with you” he said looking at me

I began to blush and looked away

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He suddenly asked me

My eyes snapped to his and my heart began to beat faster

“Yes Matt, yes I will” I said smiling

He smiled at this too and crashed our lips together once more.

That night I snuck Matt into my bedroom, and had a feeling that wouldn’t be the last time I’d do that.

We spent the night watching The Notebook and talking while we cuddled into each other's arms eventually falling asleep.

How could we both be so oblivious this whole time?

The End

I hope you guys enjoyed this one🥹🤞🏽. I’m at 1,410 followers which is MADNESS?? Like what???? I love yall so freaking much🥺🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[cozage]

Aaaaa, Cozage, I'm thrilled with your post about "Panic Attacks"! I fucking love it when people take care of me or show attention to me, so for me it's just wonderful. But at the same time, I like to help people myself. So, if it's not too much trouble, could you write about how the reader calms Sanji, Zoro, Ace and Lo when they have a panic attack? We can say: the opposite of what was written earlier) Have a nice day ❤

Sorry for my English, it's not my native language 😔

Friend!!! This was such a fabulous idea!! Our boys deserve love :)  And I must say, your profile pic?!?! DELIGHTFUL! I’m such a big fan of Chuuya :) he’s one of my favs in BSD <3

Characters: gn reader x Sanji, Zoro, Luffy, Law CW: panic attack descriptions, Marineford Spoilers Wordcount:1.4k

Helping Them Through Panic Attacks

Sanji

Sanji is a big scent guy, so certain smells trigger him. Iron and rust are the big ones, but sometimes the salty breeze blows just the right way and reminds him of when he almost starved to death on that rock. Sometimes he just disassociates, sometimes he goes into a full blown panic attack.

Sanji needs to be grounded during panic attacks or dissociative episodes. Talking doesn’t do much for him, he needs to feel people next to him to be brought back to the moment. 

When you're in public and you feel him slipping away, you grab his hand and interlace his fingers with your own. Occasionally he needs a little squeeze of reassurance to bring him back. 

Sometimes you’ll put your hand on his knee or his arm. You try not to do anything surprising, just little gentle touches to remind him where he is, and that you’re close by. 

When he gets a panic attack, you’ve found the best thing to do is get as close to him as possible. Just as a scent triggered him, your scent brings him back to the present. 

Sometimes you have to cup his face in your hands and force his eyes to look at you. You’re one of the few people who can do this when he's in such a panicked state. If other people try, he usually fights back. Even Nami and Robin can’t help him.  

His eyes are so full of fear, but you only show him your adoration and love in return. That’s all you want him to see in those moments.

As he calms down, he likes to rest his head against your chest and listen to your heart beat as you stroke his hair. Most of the time he falls asleep, and you always let him lay there as long as he needs.

Zoro

There’s nothing particular that really sets him off. Sometimes it’s a smell from his past, sometimes it's this weird deja vu that he can’t place. Sometimes he’s just thinking about how to be better and he starts to spiral. There’s not really any specific thing, it’s usually a lot of little things. 

Zoro is a prideful bastard. He doesn’t like people knowing that he’s suffering. So it took you a few episodes to realize what was happening with him.

When you see him starting to panic, you’ll ask him to follow you to a private, quiet room. At first he was skeptical of your methods, but after a few times, he started seeking you out and letting you lead you to a room to help.

You try not to touch him much or talk to him during it, but the two of you have created a pretty good method over a few trials and errors. You place your hand on his chest, and he places his hand on your chest. He feels your heart beat, feels your chest fall and rise, and he focuses on those movements. He shuts off his brain and brings his attention to matching your rhythm.

When he finally matches your heart rate and breathing pattern, he mutters out a quiet “thanks” and returns to whatever he was doing. The first time it hurt your feelings, but Zoro doesn’t like to mull over the fact he needs help. 

After a few hours (usually that night, when you are in bed), you’ll ask him if he’s okay or wants to talk. Most of the time he says he’s fine, but sometimes he’ll talk about what was bothering him. But every time he’ll pull you in closer to him and thank you with a little kiss on the forehead. 

Luffy

Blood had never bothered Luffy before, so he didn’t understand why his ears started to ring whenever he saw it after Marineford. He didn’t understand why holes in things like  trees or concrete structures bothered him so much now. He didn’t understand why he wanted to vomit when he saw an orange hat or a large back tattoo. 

Most of the time, you’re able to, quite literally, snap him out of it. Snapping your fingers in front of his face is usually enough to have him step back from the edge of a panic attack, but you also go a bit further by redirecting him to focus on something else. Food, some cool attraction on an island, or a game you know he likes to play.

If you don’t get him in those first few moments, though, his chest becomes tight and he feels like he can’t get enough air into his lungs. He wants to scream out, but his voice is gone too. So he’s left clutching his chest and gasping for air. He doesn’t have enough energy to find you at this point, so he lays into a ball and curls up into a ball and waits for someone to find him.

When you find him or another crewmember directs you to him, you keep your voice low and calm, as if you were talking to an injured animal. You always start the same way: “Luffy, it’s okay. You’re safe.”

You pull his head into your lap and you’ll run your finger through his hair to brush it out, and then start braiding little pieces. 

You tell him stories of your life in a soft, even voice. If you can’t think of stories, you make them up. You ignore the tears falling from his eyes and the soft sobs that escape his lips. 

Eventually, he falls asleep. But you don’t move. You keep twirling his hair in your fingers, waiting for him to wake up. After a very short nap, he wakes up a new person. He gives you a big kiss and bounds off, his energetic self returning like nothing ever happened.

Law

You didn’t understand why Shachi’s prank made Law so scared. It was just a harmless joke. Shachi had spent hours taping up hundreds of pieces of string all across the common room so people would have to jump over, duck under, and crawl around to get through it all. But when Law had turned the corner and saw you all sitting in the mess of string, you only saw one emotion in his eyes: Fear. 

After that you started to notice it more. Whenever he walked into spider webs unexpectedly, or saw those fun feathery boa necklaces at festivals, or heard the sound of a gunshot, panic set into his eyes. 

“Everything okay?” you’d ask every time, but he’d always give you one quick nod in response. You started taking that as your cue to intervene. 

Law hates making a big deal about things. So when you’re in public, you subtly grab his hand. It’s one of the few times he doesn’t mind PDA, and he grips your hand so tight you have to clench your teeth. But you never complain. 

When you can finally get away from others, you’ll take him somewhere quiet and sit on the ground with him. You keep holding his hand, and use your free hand to trace over his tattooed fingers. 

You always ask him questions about his crew, trying to redirect his brain. “What do you think Bepo is doing right now?” “How did you meet Shachi?” “Remember last week when Penguin and Ikkaku almost caught the kitchen on fire?” He doesn’t usually respond, but you always say what you think the answer is. You’re not sure if it helps, but after a while his grip starts to loosen on your hand.

Law is a silent sufferer. He doesn’t have many indications when his panic attacks start, or when they end. So you sit with him, answering your own questions until he finally takes a deep breath and says “Okay, I’m ready to go back.” He keeps holding your hand though, for as long as he can.

[boyfhee]

CLOSEST FRIEND AND MORE ⋆ pjs

prompt · “i don’t think i’ve ever felt the way i do with you with anyone else.” “what does that mean?” “what do you think it means?” · requested

g · fluff warnings · light profanities, mentions of injury wc · 0.8k

note · writer's block is real and it sucks

“and then, that bastard, that cheating lying bastard, blatantly lied in front of everyone and said that, i pushed him during the game. seriously— can you believe that?” a scoff falls off your lips and you recall the moments from your PE class this morning, which more or less morphed into a fight between you and one of your classmates who claims to have been pushed by you in a game of dodgeball and sprained his ankle when in reality, he practically launched himself towards you and all you did was step aside to save yourself. 

and jay, he’s hearing this story for the fifth time today, in different narratives from different people, with more colourful words for the said boy being served by them on a silver platter.

“no, i really can’t believe that,” he responds sarcastically, eyes focused on the evening sky and then the road as a soft smile rested upon his lips, throughout the walk from school to your place. 

“jay,” you slow down, the extra emphasis on his name to get a serious reply, making him turn to look at you. you stare at him for a second while he mirrors the same blank look at you, before a faint sigh slips off your lips. “you’ve been really quiet today, you know?” 

and not just today but for the past four to five days. jay is a quiet person, actually, but not quiet quiet, not the quiet where you hear six words maximum from him in twenty-four hours. you wouldn’t say you and jay are super close or the bestest of friends and yet still, you can hear him whisper from behind you during classes, making you laugh occasionally, sneaking notes from under the desks, everything that makes maths more bearable for you and everything whose absence for days now has you concerned. 

“is that so?”

“mhm, i almost forgot your voice,” which is an exaggeration on your part, but you’re pretty sure it would have come true had the silence game continued for a few more days. “are you okay, though? is there anything you’re worried about, anything you’d like to tell me?” 

a brief pause follows, a moment of silence yet again, filled with the shuffling of your footsteps on the pavement as he swings your hand back and forth, holding it a little tighter. “well, there is something i’m worried about but i can figure it out myself,” 

you step in front of him, getting a better look at his face and his eyes meet yours. “are you sure?”

“i am,” 

you see your house now, the first one as soon as you'd take the next left. walks with jay are less frequent. he’s either busy with his other friends or after school stuff that your homeroom teacher assigns him, much to his disappointment. walks with him are less often but are always fun, hands intertwined as you both take all the time in the world to cover the ten minutes walking distance from school to your house, since he insists on walking you home everyday. 

walks with him are less common, this might be your ninth or tenth time, but they’re already something you look forward to ever since you wake up. you realise that walks with jay might be the only chance to get to know him better, and thus, you take the opportunity. 

“i know you don’t like stressing people out with your own problems and you rarely talk about them, but i want you to know that you can rely on me,” the two of you finally stop in front of your house and you stand in front of him, taking both of his hands into yours. “you’re one of my closest friends, i’m here if you never need someone to listen to you,” 

he has known you for one month, barely, and you’re asking him to spill his worries to you as if they’re your own, but how does he tell you that you’re the reason he’s losing track of day, noon and night, wondering if there’s even a little chance that you feel the same way as he feels towards you? 

“i don’t think i’ve ever felt the way i do with you, with anyone else,” but the words escape his mouth, leaving him surprised too, as if he has lost control over his thoughts, letting his heart take over his mind, allowing it to make all the decisions. 

you feel your heart skipping beats and pacing relentlessly, quite sure going to pop out of your chest any second. “what does that mean?” 

how does he tell you that you’re the one making him worried with all these feelings that he has for you? 

“what do you think it means?” and the smile on your face morphs into hesitation, heat rising up your cheeks as he takes a step towards you. another string of silence follows as you try to come up with words, but before you could even sort out your thoughts, jay beats you to it. “see you tomorrow,” 

and that’s all he says before walking away, because you consider him one of your closest friends, so how does he tell you that he’s inexplicably in love with you, and that he wants to be something more? 

[doing-swell]

hello, my name's swellie 💖✨🌈 aka: new pinned post! new pinned post! read all abt it!

welcome to my blog! I started on here almost exactly a year ago, and since then I've learned not only so much about my pregnancy kink, but also about myself. being here has been formative for my kink exploration journey, and it's helped me deconstruct years of catholic school girl trauma (s/o to catholic guilt!).

This is a pregnancy and birth fetish vlog. This is an 18+ only environment. DO NOT INTERACT IF 18 OR YOUNGER. I am a 27 year old white cis woman with brown hair. I identify as a neurodivergent bisexual woman on the ace-spectrum. I live in the US - New England specifically!

I've had a pregnancy kink since I was a kid. I even got in trouble for google image searching "pregnat" on my childhood computer lol (it was 2006 folks, what else was i supposed to do?) I created this blog to share the beautiful side of this kink. I hope you enjoy! <3

Keep reading below!

As a queer person I will absolutely not condone any form of homophobia, transphobia, racism, misogyny, etc etc. I am an open and tolerant person, and please do not try to take advantage of me because of this. I mostly only follow back people whose content I enjoy seeing.

When I interact with kink content here, I mostly imagine myself as the pregnant carrier. I mostly get off to picturing myself in some sort of pain (i.e. labor) or I like to picture myself with a pregnant person.

Things I really enjoy:

Wearing a fake pregnant belly

Pregnant bellies (specifically, large pregnant bellies, smaller bellies, those with stretch marks, red bellies, moving bellies)

Breeding <3

Impregnation <3

Poking pregnant bellies, rubbing them etc

Stirrups, medical torture stuff, etc (FANTASY ONLY. I CANNOT REPEAT THAT ENOUGH. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU FEEL OTHERWISE)

Birth, birth denial, labor and contractions

Pregnant lesbians (because duh,,, I’m fucking gay)

Historical pregnancies or pregnancies set in the past

Clothes not being able to fit/spilling out of old clothes

Giant swollen boobs (especially with veins 🙈)

Giant bellies in laps <3

Waddling and being out of breathe, struggling to sit up, contractions, unable to get up from sitting, etc

Curves🤤🤤

I’m not into:

Anime/ drawings

Monster fucking, slime, pups/litter talk, etc

Mpreg

Beastiality, aliens, monsters, anything sci fi

Eggs or pushing out objects

Feederism, feedies, or stuffing (in very very specific circumstances I tolerate this)

Anything to do with fatphobia or shaming folks for their size/weight

Swollen feet

It gets weird when it gets misogonistic in a "I would actually vote to overturn roe v wade if I had the chance" kind of thing -- if it's fantasy/pure imagination, I'm all ears. But when I think you would actually hate crime me IRL..... that's when I [not-so] politely decline ❤️🫶🏻

Other disclaimers:

I am in a relationship right now and she knows about this blog and my kink. She is so supportive and I love her very much. We are very open to exploring ourselves sexually, but never, and I mean never, would I risk my relationship because of something on here. If you cross a line, I will immediately tell you. Please do not assume I want to fuck you or be in a relationship with you in real life, this is purely for kink purposes. I think of you as my friends! If I talk to you, or respond to your DM's or like your content occasionally, that means I'm grateful to have you in my life and you make my life better by being in it. Xoxo, thank you for understanding!

Please send me asks, tell me about your fantasies, ask me questions about my fetish. I want to learn more about you as well! I’m an open book when it comes to most things, I promise I won’t judge you 🙈

I don’t want to tell you my real name, where I live, or anything about me in real life. You won’t ever see my face. It’s what I’m comfortable with, full stop. If you do get my name or anything from me, it’s for you only. Do not share that without my consent. For purposes of this blog, you can call me Swellie 🤪

I love interacting with mutuals through tags and captions 💋 it’s my way of flirting and will swoon if you do the same

Happy swelling, babies 🫡

[infiniteeight8]

Tony and Stephen coming out as the omega power couple. Like, maybe they always hid genders/pretended to be alphas to the rest of the world and then people are baffled to find out that these two powerful men are actually omegas and together in a relationship.

My automatic reaction to this prompt was to write a press conference. But I didn’t really feel like writing a press conference, so I started thinking of other ways we could see people’s reactions to Tony and Stephen coming out, and I got this idea. 

-

Tony didn’t go to a lot of scientific conferences—even if he’d had the time, there more invitations than he could handle—but when his alma mater was hosting, he figured he could indulge in a little favoritism. Besides, it was fun to take Stephen to an event where nearly as many people were interested in talking to him as to Tony. MIT might not be known for its med students, but the ones it had were absolutely feral in their commitment. All of which meant he occasionally got a breather.

“Doctor Stark?”

Tony turned, already smiling. Even here, most people called him ‘Mister’; the ones who didn’t were almost always students. Sure enough, a young woman was hovering nervously. She was probably twenty-three, a grad student if he had to guess… and an omega. Probably not the only non-spouse omega in the room, aside from him and Stephen, but Tony was only guessing at the others; he knew scent blockers better than most. “That’s me,” Tony said easily. He held out his hand.

“Jessica Loiselle.” She was shaking with nerves when she took his hand. She took a breath after letting go. “I wanted to thank you.”

That wasn’t unusual at events in general—all the Avengers got it—but at academic events people were usually more interested in picking his brain. “For?” he asked, smiling reassuringly.

“For coming out,” she said, and Tony froze. She went on quickly, the words almost tumbling past each other now that she’d started. “You and Doctor Strange could have passed for alpha the rest of your lives. It would have been easier. But you didn’t. You said you hoped you’d make it easier for other omegas, one day. And I wanted you to know, you already are.” She took a breath. “My supervisor is great, he always believed in me, but the rest of our research group… They used to say the best an omega could do was be a lab tech. They used to say, ‘It’s not your fault, you just weren’t built for high pressure situations.’ They used to tell me that if I made anything of myself, it’d be because I had a supportive alpha.” Jessica grinned suddenly. “They don’t say any of that anymore.”

Tony beamed. “I’m glad,” he said. “Hang on, Stephen needs to hear this, too.”

This, Tony thought as he pulled Stephen’s attention away from the student currently interrogating him. This is what makes all the bullshit worth it.

[amerricanartwork]

I saw your lilypad art post, and I got curious: why do you enjoy lilypad? it's not a common RW ship, so I'd be interesting to hear what about it you enjoy!

Hear me out, guys... I must explain myself before I get onto the Lilypad essay.

I made that original comment because, at the time, I wanted to just get the aforementioned headcanons out as soon as possible. Understand, my reluctance wasn't because I didn't want to talk about Lilypad, but rather the exact opposite: I had so many feelings about it, yet had put so little effort into expressing them in a coherent, presentable format that I just knew it'd distract me for the next week or two if I let it rent too much space in my conscious thoughts. But now that little comment has left me with several people asking me to share those thoughts, and, both thankfully and unfortunately, I simply can't resist indulging in thoughts about the characters I love—!

Keep in mind, I haven’t finished Saint campaign yet, and even then I’ve found like less than half the broadcasts in Spearmaster campaign yet, so there’s likely some extra canon info I may be missing that could add to or change some of what I say here. I also apologize if some of what I write here seems really out-of-character. I try not to let my passion for my little headcanons and scenarios make me disregard the canon, but even so, I might slip and think up some weird things occasionally. Nonetheless, I feel like I’ve got enough of the picture to start confidently enjoying this ship, so I’ll talk about it anyway! 

As always, feel free to add to these ideas if you can! Without further delay, enjoy this 3381-word essay, with a few initial headcanons sprinkled in, on why I adore Lilypad!

Oh, and just in case, if you couldn’t already tell, major Hunter campaign spoilers below.

Quetzalli on Loving Lilypad

I’m gonna start this out with a preface: I can generally find the appeal in a lot of different ships and the art other fans make for them, but for me to ship something enough to actively draw it and make my own headcanons about it and such (outside of, perhaps, gifts for other people), it usually has to contain a variety of “ship tropes” that I personally fancy. Many of my most-favorite ship tropes tend to be the ones that aren’t just cute, but that carry narrative significance and seem poetic in some way, usually because they can facilitate character arcs in the involved characters. The more of these a ship has, or the more ship tropes I can portray it with without it seeming too out-of-character, and the more I like those specific tropes, the better. This principle is a major reason why I’ve gravitated towards Artimand as my main slugcat ship, but for now, I’m going to focus on which of these I see in Lilypad — in canon content, other fan-portrayals, and my personal headcanons — that, as opposed to other iterator ships, has currently won me over.

I’m gonna describe the main general things I like seeing in this ship. Some of them are more due to fandom portrayals than what’s in the canon, but they all play a big role in my current love for Lilypad. 

Synergy

I’ll begin with how I really appreciate just how much synergy Looks to the Moon and No Significant Harassment are shown to have, at least in fan content! I always like seeing pairings where the characters aren’t just romantic, but also work really well together as a team or even just as friends. After all, just because the characters may be romantically in love doesn’t mean they must only show it in explicitly romantic ways. To me, Lilypad strikes me as a relationship where Sig and Moon would make an amazing team in many aspects of their lives, whether it's collaborating on projects, sharing their interests, or trying to maintain order in the rest of their group. And their compliment is just really sweet to me, though I’ll get to that later.

A Shoulder to Lean On/The Lady

One of my favorite ship tropes is “character with a lot of weight on their shoulder who finally gets to lift it off and be ‘normal’ for once when around the other”. I’ve always found it sweet when characters like this, especially ones who are normally very selfless, finally get a chance to indulge and enjoy themselves for once! And once again, this is another thing I imagine in Artimand too, and you could project this onto Trafficlights given Suns’s implied high status, but I think it works especially with Lilypad, given Moon’s role as group senior means she objectively has a lot to manage all the time with no permanent escape from it. Even beyond the whole Five Pebbles rot drama, Moon probably had a lot on her plate just in terms of maintaining order between the rest of the group and setting a good example to the younger generations, especially as the group expanded over time, not to mention trying to find the solution herself. Combine this with how I picture her to be the kind of person who cares a lot about her image as a “proper” and  “dignified” leader, and someone who often sacrifices her own desires to promote the group’s welfare, I just find it really soft for her to have someone to lean on, metaphorically (and in a worm-off-the-string scenario, literally), and who better to go to than her best teammate, who knows the power of a good laugh and will stop at nothing to have fun with those he loves? Not to mention, since I headcanon Sig as slightly younger than Moon (2nd gen, specifically), I just find it rather cute in an ironic sense that the older, more serious Moon is soft around the younger, far more chaotic Sig, especially as Moon would go through the realization that she actually kinda likes this little troublemaker! 

This also comes back to something I mentioned in the tags of that beepsnort post, which is that one of my other favorite ship tropes is “guy who loves/is good at making people laugh x girl who has a REALLY weird/embarrassing laugh”, and that just works so well with Lilypad! It’s admittedly a very headcanon-based thing for me, but given how I’ve already explained my perception of Moon as very proper and serious, I imagine one of the best ways Sig takes the weight off her shoulders is by being the only person who can consistently make her laugh so hard! And with the beepsnort headcanon it’s even cuter, because of course Moon would be super embarrassed every time she even so much as gives a half-chuckle at one of his jokes, because Sig is relentless when it comes to getting the giggles out of her, and he won’t stop until she’s rolling and shaking on the floor of her chamber, her beepy-snorts filling the room! My GODDD I love this trope so much, and for beings who are inherently such workaholics, I think getting to genuinely relax and have fun for a bit, once she gets over the initial shock and embarrassment, would be something Moon would really come to value.

Inverses Attract/The Tramp

I’ve mentioned it in my last Artimand headcanons post, but one of my absolute all-time favorite ship tropes is the classic “opposites attract”, although I prefer the name “inverses attract”. As I like to portray it, the trope not only involves characters who are opposites personality-wise, but those being opposites of the same core aspect, and ultimately helping balance each other out by offering the other half of the equation to each other (hence the name “inverses”). The trope I just wrote about above is how Sig helps Moon to relax and have fun, but as I try to do with all ships, how does it work the other way too? Well, I really like to imagine Sig learning to be more openly serious and dedicated! Don’t get me wrong, Sig is a hard worker (it’s pretty much the nature of all iterators), but given he seems to pretty strongly reject the quest for the Triple Affirmative, I imagine the next problem would be in him finding a new purpose to strive for. And what better new purpose than in standing by and protecting the group senior he thinks he just might wanna be more than friends with?

It already works because Moon, of course, would work to keep Sig in check and make sure he doesn’t go too overboard with his shenanigans. But just imagine how inspired he’d grow over time seeing Moon work so hard to keep the group together and keep them striving for their purpose, even if he doesn’t agree with it. I imagine it’s why Sig’s methods are still rather controlled rather than purely chaotic, and there’s a reason to his rebellion. Thanks to Moon, rather than slaving away at a seemingly impossible solution until his mind collapses with his structure, he’ll use his talents to, at the very least, keep the local group together as long as possible, because even if they’ll all be gone one day, that doesn’t mean they have to go alone!

It’s why I’m also labeling these two tropes together as “the Lady and the Tramp”, yet another ship dynamic that gets me every time! It’s a specific instance of “inverses attract” where the noble, proper lady finds a taste of freedom and courage from the dangerously charming tramp, who from her finds a new sense of purpose and honor! And in my opinion, Lilypad is most definitely the best opportunity for this dynamic among Rain World ships!

The Fated Couple

Slow-burn couples seem to be pretty popular in many fandoms, but what about a really slow-burn? There’s something just so romantic to me about the idea that Moon and Sig, from the moment they met, have always just clicked so perfectly, and have been by each other’s side so constantly ever since, to the point it seems practically inevitable to everyone (except them of course) that they’ll eventually get together romantically. Of course, there are two main roadblocks to their romance being 1.) their whole objective and purpose for being created is kind-of fundamentally opposed to strong attachments like love (I mean, if Karma 3 is Companionship, wouldn’t romantic love be considered the worst example of that?), and 2.) even if they did reject this purpose, being massive immovable structures with the only humanoid part stuck deep inside a box, a budding romance seemingly couldn’t really go anywhere anyway. In fact, because of these roadblocks much of my Lilypad imaginings take place in the ever-popular “worm-off-the-string” scenario, especially since the next couple of reasons for why I like the ship play a lot into the themes I like to incorporate in this story concept. 

However, these issues towards such a romance are also what make it so sweet in the end! Just think of Moon, alone in her chamber, beginning to worry about how she’s actually kinda sorta, maybe, hypothetically, possibly, just a little bit starting to like the carefree and charismatic Gen 2 in the local group as even more than just a work partner and a dear friend, but oh no, that’s indulging in a Karmic Sin, and as group senior she can’t just throw away their purpose like that and set such a bad example to the rest! What’s she gonna do?? And then on the other side, Sig puzzling in his chamber, pining so hard for the group senior yet seemingly unable to confess, because, even disregarding Karma 3 and the fact that giant immobile calculators aren’t about to be snuggling any time soon, why would someone as perfect and powerful as her want someone like him, so dismissive of their core purpose and unorthodox in his methods? Is there even a point in having these feelings at all, when they might very well end up simply fading to dust along with the rest of his structure?

Maybe, they both think, it’d be better to just keep these feelings to themselves and quietly love from a distance. That is, until…

Moon’s Collapse and the Slag Reset Keys

The fourth reason is, of course, the most steeped in canon. It goes back a bit to the “shoulder to lean on” concept, but even aside from that, there is something just so romantic about this on both sides.

Firstly, from Moon’s perspective. There’s no doubt that the collapse must have been very traumatic for Looks to the Moon physically, but I like to think about just how much it’d affect her emotionally, too. I mean, being so painfully destroyed by your own brother, with seemingly nothing that can be done to stop it and no one to help you? And then consider how lonely it must have been in her final moments. The only comfort she does get is from Spearmaster’s visit, and even then she sends him off to go deliver her final words, which has still got to be really depressing. And finally, think about how betrayed she must have felt, trying so hard throughout her operation to help her citizens and the local group and be kind to everyone, only to have it be repaid like this, forced to collapse in on herself, being buried under her own body, unfathomable pain all around, and with not a soul to help her.

So then, think about just how shocking and heartwarming (literally, if you think about it) it must be when that lovable Gen 2, always so playful and carefree normally, is the one to give her a second chance and being her back when all hope seems lost, and using such a unique delivery method no less! I mean COME ON, Sig literally brought her back to life, how could one NOT fall in love with someone who did that for them? It links back to the “shoulder to lean on” idea, in that, for once, someone finally looked out for Moon and gave back to her for all the kindness she gave to the world. Think about this as the moment she truly realizes she’s in love with No Significant Harassment, and how tragic it’d be knowing now, it’s too late to say it. But, even so, if he’s willing to go this far to make sure she’s okay, then maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance her love at least wasn’t alone.

Now, my thoughts about this from No Significant Harassment’s side (which also kinda turned into a mini NSH appreciation paragraph that links back to the earlier Inverses Attract and Lady and the Tramp segment), I think it’s very poetic to see him going out of his way to take his messenger concept, originally used for no more than a trivial prank and at most a very experimental and unfinished alternative communication method, and turning it into a noble last-ditch effort to rescue the one he loves. It doesn’t just clearly show how much he cares for Moon that he worked to save her when no one else did (and if that’s because the odds of being able to do anything seemed very low to the rest of them, that makes it even more sweet) I think it shows off a lot of Sig’s character beyond just being a jokester. Like, I’d seen this kind of personality for Sig in the fandom content before, but this action and the other broadcasts are what first made me truly realize not just that it is based in canon, but that, more importantly he’s not just stupid or unfocused, he’s rebellious. He doesn’t joke around because he just doesn’t care, it’s because he’s independent, he’s got other places he wants to go and plans that don’t fit into what most of his peers are used to. He makes light of the world because he sees what others don’t, and it’s honestly pretty frickin’ funny how blind others can be most of the time (case-in-point: him making a slugcat from a messenger, which no one else thought to do because those creatures seemed too “dull” and “primitive” to ever be capable of such a thing). So think about how significant it must be when he’s openly taking something seriously. This is where that dynamic of the Tramp, and how Sig would benefit from this relationship is really highlighted. I just adore it when the easygoing, carefree character finally finds purpose in their lover, and springs into serious action like they never were before! And it makes sense too given what I said about them not getting together before: seeing Moon collapse would show him directly that even beings as durable as iterators don’t last forever, so if he’s got these feelings for Moon, he’s got to make a move while there’s still a chance! And what better way to show his love than to bring her back when all hope seems lost? Which brings me to the final aspects I’ll talk about here, first of which is…

True Love’s Kiss

Yes, you read that right. The real reason I love the slag reset keys as a plot element so much is not just because it shows Sig’s secret strength of character, not just because it finally gives reward to Moon’s kindness, but because it is a real fairytale come true! 

I know this sounds crazy and probably totally unrelated to Rain World, but think about it! You guys have probably seen Snow White and Sleeping Beauty before, or at least one of the two? Isn’t the whole trope that the beautiful princess, fairest maiden in the land, gets cursed through some means or another to die (or in Aurora’s case, fall into an indefinite sleep), which is only undone when the strong and brave prince, riding upon his noble steed, awakens the princess by giving her true love’s kiss? I already love both those movies on their own for various other reasons, but after my description, is this starting to sound familiar in another way?

I mean, with everything I’ve said about Moon in this post so far, there’s no doubt you could perceive her as the “fair princess”, who through unfortunate circumstances is put to a premature and indefinite death. And there’s no doubt Sig fills the role of the brave prince by working to save her with the slag reset keys, which in this metaphor are undoubtedly the “true love’s kiss” that ultimately conquers all, always longed for, and finally delivered! And hey, given Hunter is the one to carry the keys to Moon, a small yet courageous beast who stops at nothing to meet his goals, Sig even has his own “noble steed”! And even if Hunter is technically the one to actually deliver the green neuron, and the death the “princess” succumbs to wasn’t out of genuine malice towards her, I think the sentiment is still there and the parallel is close enough! 

But yes, as strange as it may sound, the fairytale parallel is the main reason Lilypad resonates with me so much! Those classic fairytale-esque romance tropes and that poetic storytelling found in Disney’s first feature-length animated films has always been dear to my heart, and is even more so now that I’m older and can truly appreciate the beauty of them. So now, even in my fandom experiences, ships that win my appreciation over all others are often those that manage to embody those classic romance tropes and themes as best as possible, and frankly, even Artimand loses ever-so-slightly to Lilypad in this regard! Or, as I also enjoy calling them, “Lifeline”, for reasons that are probably obvious now. 

And it’s even better when you consider…

Some Things Never Change

Another trope I’ve recently begun to love is the idea that some phenomena in the world never truly disappear, but simply manifest in different ways, sometimes unexpected ones. And given the whole Triple Affirmative quest and the Ancients’ mass ascension philosophy, this idea is something I especially love seeing in Rain World content. Even the canon events show this idea, but think about how wonderfully it would work with Lilypad beyond just the slag reset keys, especially taking up that “worm off the string” iterator AU concept some have explored in this fandom already.

Just think about how sweet it would be when Moon and Sig, operating primarily through their puppets now, get to finally hug and kiss and be with each other so directly now! Think of the way Sig would speak to Moon about how, even after her collapse, she's still somehow beautiful as ever, and Moon returning with how even all the trouble the group has faced hasn't put a dent in his charm! And it's even sweeter when you consider it’s against everything their creators stood for! Think of Moon, after everything she’s been through and how much she’s probably changed at this point, now willing to give some of these “worldly attachments” a chance, because you can never truly get rid of them, but she knows better than anyone that you won’t be around to experience them forever, so why not enjoy it while you’ve got the chance? And it’d make sense too, not just for her own benefit, but for Pebbles and the rest of the group’s sake too! She’s always strove to set a good example for them, and since their original quest has left them with nothing but pain and trauma, why not show them that maybe all these attachments aren’t so bad after all?

I just think it’d be really interesting to see Moon joining Sig in that rejection of the Triple Affirmative, and what better way to do that than by finally embracing that love they’ve felt for each other for so long? Because love never truly dies, it just appears in new people. And maybe they don’t have to spend their whole lives as grand iterators, the vast infinitely-advanced mechanical deities who embody perfection in almost every way. Maybe, even just for a bit, they can just be people, falling in love just as their creators did all over again!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

And with that, I think I’m FINALLY done here. HOLY COW, this is easily my longest post yet, and I hope it doesn’t disappoint! Part of the reason it took so long was because I was trying to find the perfect way to express all these ideas without it just spilling out onto the page in some weird half-coherent mess. But eventually I just said “ah screw it, let’s just ramble about this ship and see where it goes!” and my god, did it go far! And I still managed to somewhat organize it, so yay!

But aside from that, thank you SO MUCH to everyone who asked for my thoughts on Lilypad, and everyone who made it to the bottom of this essay! I’ve never really gotten a chance to openly ramble about one of my favorite ships to the rest of the fandom like this, so seeing that some fans, even if it’s ultimately not a huge amount, actually wanted me to do it was such a welcome surprise!

I hope you all enjoyed the drawings and the art! I’ll be around in case someone wants me to write another ship essay or something! And who knows, it’s likely I’ll find more reasons I like Lilypad as time goes on and I see more fan-content and find the rest of those broadcasts! But at least this was a starting point! 

Expect more LIlypad content to come in the future, but until now, thanks again for the opportunity!

[caustinen]

Loving your Hollywood Clegan AU so much!

Curious though...how do they transition when their relationship becomes public? Are there any issues with fan backlash? Or being an openly gay actor? What about the increased paparazzi attention or stalkerish fans? :O

Hello lovely person!! As usual this got a bit long but I hope it answers the question a bit at least 😂💘

To start off with, I usually reimagine my fics in worlds that don’t have homophobia because I personally don’t enjoy writing it/making it a plot point, there’s so much amazing art in all forms dealing with it that it doesn’t feel like trying to erase a very real problem/ignore it because obviously it unfortunately is a big part of queer experience for a lot of people, it’s just that I like to imagine worlds where that isn’t a factor just so there’s also places to escape that, esp in silly fanfiction that I write – that’s what I also enjoy to read as a queer person myself! So while it would definitely give this au a lot of depth, I’m at least not right now including that in these replies <3

As for the other stuff, I have not thought about it a lot even though these should be kinda the main questions for this au… So let’s think about it!

Paparazzi – John dislikes paparazzi as much as anyone but Gale despises them. He finds it a bit invasive but kind of a “part of the job” con for John and later their relationship in the public when it happens when arriving to/leaving events, but when he first catches someone taking his picture while leaving the gym or his office he gets very antsy. This creates some tensions for a bit as John understands his stress but also feels like they talked about it beforehand and now he can’t really do anything about it. When they’re out together and they spot paparazzi John always tries to block Gale from the sight, pull him behind himself or guide them some other way. They love to travel and it’s also easier to avoid being spotted when they’re away from LA/New York. It’s bad for the first few months but eventually the attention on them eases up a bit and they can go back to the new normal with only occasional encounters with the paparazzi; Gale also grows more accustomed to it and knows how to dress to and act to hide & make it a bit less intense.

Fan backlash – I think this would be an interesting thing to explore. Even though a lot of the fans are just happy for John, there are also some who have become too parasocial/illusioned about him after being fans for years (and he is a heartthrob and charming and widely accepted as “boyfriend material”) that they get upset when the relationship is revealed, starting to talk shit on social media about John never having been genuine and has only been lying to his fans meaning he never actually cared about them, and through that getting to insult his work and that they only went to see it because he’s hot but now it’s ruined. John was also shipped with a lot of his previous castmates and some shippers are also upset and saying he “setteled” for Gale who’s “just an ordinary office worker” when he could’ve had a flashy Hollywood Romance – while many see his fiancés shyness and soft-spokeness in public as adorable, some say he doesn’t match John’s vibe at all, and the fact that John also seems different with him is not a good thing and they start to psychoanalyze their relationship. John couldn’t care less for some angry comments on his insta but some of the hate is directed towards Gale, and he’s a bit taken aback when he starts to receive DM’s telling him to leave John immediately and accusing him of manipulating him into a relationship with “someone like him”. John is obviously very upset by all of this but Gale reminds him that he’s seen it all at work and can handle himself.

Stalkers – The other extreme of Gale haters would then be the people who get like way into him real fast, he’s beloved by the masses, sure, but these people are more like a cult (probably of the similar style of fan as the one’s who turn against John in the previous point, like highkey parasocial behavior but when John starts to date publicly it’s like “no, he’s OUR boyfriend” but not in a funny way you know). The line is blurred to some people what it means that John revealed he has a partner, it’s not a ”new part of him” but a real person of his own that happens to be dating their favorite actor, and this gets lost on some people who start to treat him almost like he was Bucky’s pet (idk if this makes any sense but like as if he was just a cute little thing he can post pics about and doesn’t really have an agency of their own AND the fans feel like they ”know him” when they actually know nothing about him except that he’s dating their idol). Gale’s not expecting to get any “fans” of his own, so he’s a bit weary when he’s asked to take pics with people without John or given stuff on red carpets etc, and especially when people really cross boundaries and try to gift him/them like condoma or sex toys or lingerie (I’m thinking of that one interview where they showed Austin his fan merch and there was the thong with his face on it and I’m thinking someone gifting a similar one of Bucky to him and him being absolutely horrified) or something else kinda projecting their own fantasies into them, or playing it off as a joke while it’s actually really distrurbing — just because they’re out doesn’t mean the relationship opened for other people to comment on. Then of course there’s just the usual internet hellhole-stuff, people start sending him really inappropriate messages about his body/looks/what they’d want to do to him given the chance that he maybe didn’t expect because he doesn’t believe John when he tells him that’s like notably attractive. I could also imagine for example a moment where someone approaches them when they’re leaving an event or something and Gale is being professional and polite but the other person is really overstaying their welcome/not following social cues but talking to him like a friend would and when John tries to politely lead them onwards the “fan” grabs Gale’s arm or something and it causes a small scene. Gale is stressed in these situations mostly because he fears how they’ll reflect on John’s image if he’s presented as being rude to fans but luckily these are rare occasions.

Despite all of this, they both are happy that the relationship is public, there are more pros than cons for being able to build their future together without having to be each others dirty little secrets (idk why but it came to my mind now that Gale is so the type that since he couldn’t always tell people he had a partner, everyone would either hit on him or try to match him with someone because “how is someone that pretty single?!” and this would annoy the hell out of Bucky despite him being the one with millions of options at any given moment, i like some jealous bucky :D)

Hope this was satisfactory!! Any more ideas to these scenarios? I’m so used to doing just fluff/smut so this was a fun challenge, thank you! <3