#and i love mutuals in general so like hi hello pls be my friend

[star-racing]

would anyone be interested in seeing snippets of my voltron fic as I work on it or do we not really care until it's all finished and the fic is ready to be updated?

[svmjaeyvn]

love maze, s.jy.

chapter six pairing: jake x afab!reader word count: tbd (series)

masterlist

add yourself to the taglist here!

genre: college!au, mutual friends, fake dating, smut.

synopsis: an unfortunate encounter, drunken mistakes, and a sort of (definitely) stalker leads jake sim ‘dating’ his best friend’s childhood crush.

or, your life gets intertwined with a rich boy’s in attempt to not get sued by his crazy personal fangirl and like with all good cliches, sex overcomplicates things.

contents: smut, sort of strangers to fuck buddies to lovers pipeline, childhood best friend!jay, mentions of best friend! yunjin, curly haired & mixed reader, uni!au, rich nepo baby!jake, enha frat boys, lots of kissing, fake dating turning into fwb real quick, totally way too into it for it to be fake early on, big booty reader that’s jake’s obsessed with, partying and alcohol use, slight violence, he fell first and harder trope, stem bf & writer gf, (kinda overly) possessive jake, some angst to spice things up, daddy issues, hyper independent reader who struggles with her feelings, fluff and happy ending!!

a/n: hello~ i’ve never been a tumblr girly but i have went through my w*ttpad era back in 2018 so bare with me y’all. this will be a series but not that long (i hope) so pls look forward to it. warning tags will be placed before each “chapter” to specify what to expect. pls pls reblog and interact, i’d love to have feedback and see what your thoughts are. okay! yay, for now enjoy and thank you sm :D

MDNI, 18+

tap below to continue

CHAPTER SIX: EXS

previous masterlist next

word count: 3.3k

warnings: swearing, kisses, calling minjun a stalker, protective jay and ni-ki

a/n: not a lot of jake in this one i know but i have to make a plot and conflict yall 😩 adding in bbg riki and some more best friend!jay pls enjoy

           "HOW MANY TIMES have I told you to wear the gloves when you do the dishes?" You tsk, delicately wrapping the small gash that ran along Ni-ki's, the newest trainee at your work, hand. He sheepishly smiled, tilting his head in the smallest of ways.

"Sorry noona," He mumbled out, embarrassed by his third time sitting like a kid being scolded due to his clumsiness. "I needed the steaming pitcher so I just reached in the sink and didn't see realize the tongs were so sharp,"

You shake your head with mock disappointment though a small smile perked at your lips nonetheless. With the middle of the semester rolling around, most freshmen had found themselves finding a rhythm with balancing their school lives enough to find a part time job. You've seen numerous come and go, Cho— your generous manager who was the sweetest old lady that ran the cafe, always took them in for at least a short amount of time.

Ni-ki was your favorite thus far, always listening intently (to everything aside from the dishwashing) and picked up the skills relatively fast. Respectful but also comfortable enough to joke around with, the two of you had become a dynamic duo in closing four days out of the week together.

Of course he was still a boy, a young and partially annoying one at that but he reminded you of your younger brother, weaseling his way in having a soft spot in your heart even though it had only been two weeks.

"Okay now we switch, you run the front I'll clean up back here," Satisfied with your makeshift bandaging, you shoo the younger boy along who rolled his eyes but nonetheless disappeared from the back of the house. Cleaning up the medical kit and barely managing to slip on your gloves to handle the load of piling dishes, you noticed his head poke in around the corner.

"Someone would like to talk to you," He hums before disappearing once more, not giving you enough time to determine whether it was a good talk or bad one in having to handle the customers. With a small sigh, you make your way to the front, prepped for the worst but your tension dissolves seeing your bright smiled best friend leaning over the pastry case.

"Off the glass," You warn, making your way to the register where Ni-ki stood with a goofy smile. Jay reluctantly stands himself up straight, pouting seeing as you didn't greet him with the same warmth he was expecting.

"That's not very good customer service, where's ajumma Cho? I'd like to file a complaint," Jay tuts, peering around the store though he knew well enough it was only you and Ni-ki in the building. The younger boy lets out a small snort, used to his antics in the past two weeks of running into each other and forming a budding friendship through their mutual teasing over you.

Rolling your eyes, you lean against the counter expectantly. "What'd you need Jay?"

"I can't just come say hi?" He pouts, seemingly offended by your words while he shakes his head. "I haven't seen you in days teeny, you've been too busy with your boyfriend to give me any attention now,"

"I saw you when we had lunch," You deadpan, finding his dramatics amusing though you knew the mess that occupied the back room needed tending to before you were forced to stay late. "Seriously, I actually have work to do today so I can't talk—"

"I'll help!" Jay volunteers, the same boxy smile on his lips while you shake your head. "What? I've done stuff before! I'm bored and want to hang out, let me help. It'll show me what you broke college students do everyday to survive and stuff,"

"Let rich boy do the dishes," Ni-ki interjects, rolling his eyes at his ladder sentence though it was all in playful manner.

"As long as I get to wear an apron," Jay agrees, pointing a finger at the coffee brown colored uniform piece you had to wear.

It was a temping offer, and he wasn't wrong. Typically you had him clean the menus or refill caramel bottles whenever he wanted to be like a kid and help out but you really did dread washing dishes. With a reluctant sigh, you nodded your head and not even a split second later, Jay had made his way around the counter to the employees side.

"This is exciting," He hums, following you to the back while you reach into the locker cubbies, pulling out one of the spare aprons left just in case anyone needed it. Jay slips it over his head, securing the strings behind his waist while you point toward the far end of the room. His excitement visibly deflates seeing the mountain of items waiting to be cleaned, the cherry on top being the empty dishes Ni-ki waltzed in with a genuine smile of content as he added to it.

"Have fun princess," You laugh, patting his shoulder as you walked by and with some reluctance, Jay made his way to begin without a word of protest much to your surprise. Having far more time to do your tasks, you began with the inventory. Going through the store and marking down the amounts had while Ni-ki continued to clean and restock due to the end of the night approaching, it was peaceful with the younger boy taking hold of the aux to play his own music now opposed to the cafe playlist.

A few minutes passed without any words, finding comfortable silence and both of you working on your own things before the jingle from the front door indicated someone coming inside. "Welcome in," You called out, not bothering to look up from the fridge you were bent down beside while Ni-ki headed for the register to attend the guest.

"Hey," You stiffen at the familiar voice. Pausing in your count, you stare at the half empty milk carton in the fridge, waiting for the person to speak again, praying it wasn't what you thought. "Sorry man, is ___ here?" With a deep sigh, your head falls down. Ni-ki peers to the side, giving you a questionable glance noticing your reaction and unaware of what to respond with.

Sending him a half smile, you stand up properly, exposing your hidden figure behind the counter. You make eye contact with Minjun, void of emotion and placing the fakest of smiles onto your lips as you spoke. "How can I help you?" Decidedly going with the faux customer service route, you place the book down you were previously using to record while his eyes trail over your figure.

"Hi," Was all he spoke, almost hesitant and you had to hold everything in you to not roll your eyes. "You're a manager here now?"

"Yeah stuff changes over a year," You respond dryly, not particularly seeing the point in his attempt in a conversation. Ni-ki lingered, seemingly wiping at the warming station but he listened carefully, aware of how unenthusiastic you seemed and found it best to stay close just in case with how stiff the air seemed. "Something you need from me?"

Minjun opens his mouth only to close it twice over. Not having the proper words to say, he purses his lips. "I've been wanting to see you," Was all he could come up with, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck. "Heard you still worked here and figured it'd be the best place to find you,"

"Yunjin told you to leave me alone and that I didn't want to talk," You reiterate, sending him a pointed look while he nods along. "So you came to my place of work knowing I didn't want to see you," Another nod. "Yeah, think that's called stalking,"

Ni-ki stiffens up at your words. "Noona," He mumbles, coming up significantly closer to your side while you shake your head. Ni-ki was tall, significantly more than you and a majority of the male population was shorter than him but he was still a kid. Besides, you didn't need any protection, Minjun wasn't a dangerous guy, just an idiot.

You hold up your hand, silently telling him that everything was fine. Reluctantly, he backed away, though he still lingered and his eyes stayed glued to Minjun who stood on the opposite side of the counter.

"I just wanted to talk," Minjun starts, voice seemingly sincere but you shake your head.

"There's nothing to talk about,"

"No means no dipshit, did you forget kindergarten rules already?" Jays' loud voice interrupted the stiff air, the attention brought to him as he emerged from the back room, a drying towel being throw over his shoulder and his apron slightly damp at the waist. He makes his way beside you, arms folded across his chest and puffing out the muscle and veins that peaked out from his rolled up sleeves. You nearly let out a laugh seeing the tough guy act your best friend pulled, almost wanting to take out your phone and take a picture but you had to admit, Jay was intimidating when he wanted to be.

"Lovely to see you again too Jongseong," Minjun sighs, plastering on a more than fake smile at the man who always expressed his distaste over him even when you were together. "Didn't think you'd be a part-time cafe guy,"

"You gonna order or not?" Jay cuts to the point, his patience thin enough as it was and especially with people he didn't like. You made a mental note to applaud him for being mean for once.

"If I order will you go away so I can talk to ___?"

"She has a boyfriend," Ni-ki interjects, standing beside Jay who nods along. "Plus she doesn't like you, so I can either take your order or you can leave,"

Minjun's eyes flicker to you once more. "A boyfriend," He repeats. "Thought you told Yunjin to tell me that just to get rid of me,"

"Not everything's about you man," Jay rolls his eyes, quick to answer for you. "Being desperate doesn't really work for you,"

"How long?" He ignores Jays jabs, eyes focused on you while you shrug. "Recent right, considering you haven't posted anything about him,"

"You really are a stalker," Ni-ki grimaces, not knowing the full details but hearing enough to make his judgements.

Sending the two behind you pointed looks, silently telling them that you'd handle it, you look back at Minjun with a small sigh. "It's not really any of your business, is it?"

"Well with me you were all about posting stories and making sure I posted you so it's just surprising,"

Narrowing your eyes, you pick at the skin of your nails at your side, something that Jay took note of in your old habits whenever you grew irritated. "Things change. Being with a guy who provides reassurance and treats you well does wonders," You hum, no longer bothering with decorum. "I don't have time to go back and forth with you. If you want to order they'll help you, if not, leave,"

Without giving him time to protest, you made your way to the back of the building ensuring he wouldn't be able to follow. Jay was quick to tag along leaving Ni-ki to fend for himself but knowing the young boy would be fine.

"He's fucking insane," Jay rambles as soon as the two of you were out of sight and behind the door that separated the front from the back. "To think that after all the shit he put you through you'd just, welcome him back? Delusional ass who doesn't know how to take no for an answer apparently—"

You nod along, taking a seat in the plush chair that was tucked away in the corner of the room beside the desk. You stared at the ground, focusing on counting the tile patterns allowing for Jay to ramble as he paced around the room. Taking note of your unusual silence, he stops mid step to look at you, a small sigh leaving his lips seeing how your bottom lip was tucked between your teeth and how you continued to pick at your hands.

Leaning down in front of you, Jay squats as his hands find way to your knees, leaning against you and forcing your line of vision to be filled by him. "You okay teeny?" He asks softly, the look of pity one you remember all too well and not what you wanted.

"I'm fine," You respond. And you were, for the most part. You just couldn't deal with your own emotions and Jay going back to treating you like a fragile piece of glass, it was exhausting enough having him be as attentive as he was in general. "Seriously, I'm fine. He's not worth my time anymore J, I just hope he got the hint and won't come back,"

Jay nods along, giving your knee a small squeeze in reassurance while you click your tongue. The door swings open, Ni-ki poking his head in the frame. "He left," The younger boy reassures, a small smile sent your way. "Am I allowed to ask noona?"

He looked concerned, an expression you had yet to see from Ni-ki and it emphasized just how young he seemed in your eyes with the innocent gleam. Gesturing for him to take a seat, you lean back in the chair while Jay settles himself on the ground. Peering up at the security cameras, ensuring to have a clear view of anyone were to walk in, you begin your story.

"Buckle up kid, you're getting a whole new level of lore from me tonight,"

           "THIS IS SUCH bullshit," Jay huffs, eyes focused behind you as he takes a rather large bite of the apple he had been holding for the past ten minutes. "I can't believe he transferred back,"

"You know, it's kind of heartwarming how upset you are for me," You tease, significantly less worked up over the situation although it was less than ideal.

"No I agree, he's a fucking asshole," Yunjin adds, shooting daggers with looks that could kill causing you to raise a brow. "What? I hate him. We're not even really related, my aunt is divorcing his uncle and I only hung out with him cause of her so now it's free range since he's being a weird idiot,"

"Are we talking shit?" Sunoo draws the attention to himself, placing his bag down and smiling brightly as he clasped his hands under his chin. "Who about?" He sing-songs, voice dripping like honey and a grin that seemed so innocent but the content behind it was entirely different.

"Her stalker,"

"Whose stalker?" Heeseung interjects, Sunghoon trailing behind him to join the ever growing table. Jay and Yunjin's fingers immediately point toward you, silently answering his question causing the older boys brows to frown. "What happened now?"

As you opened your mouth to explain, a rather loud one cut you off once again. "Noona!" Ni-ki calls out, voice booming as he made his way toward you with Jungwon leading. Rather obviously pointing in the direction you spoke of, his eyes were wide seeing Minjun on the other end of the plaza with his own group of friends. "What the hell is he doing here?" The youngest asks as they reached the table, now having all curiosity peaked of those out of loop.

"Who?" With the last member of the group joining, Jake smiled widely as he weaseled his way beside you, placing a quick peck to your cheek as he sat.

"Everyone here now so I can talk?" You ask aloud, glancing over the group and doing a quick headcount. Over the past week, with the concept of you and Jake being together, your friend group had merged with his. Well your two friends, one of which you shared already, had joined in with Jake's while Ni-ki had been recently adopted in after finding Jungwon and him shared a general ed class. You had to admit, it was nice having more people to talk to, your life had certainly become more interesting in the best of ways.

"Do tell," Sunoo urges, far too excited to know more as the certified gossip of the group, though he was always the best at giving advice so it was two sides of the same coin.

"My ex transferred back here," You finally say with a small shrug. Jake tensed up from beside you, his brows pinching together as he leaned in closer to listen to your explanation. "He came by my work the other day trying to talk and I told him to get lost and then now he's here,”

"He's weird," Ni-ki adds in, his face pinched with disgust as he shook his head. "Desperate stalker behavior,"

"Who is it?" Sunghoon asked, looking in the general direction Jay pointed in but not particularly locking in on anyone.

"Kang Minjun," Yunjin answered without missing a beat.

Jake lets out a scoff, leaning closer into your side. "He's a fucking prick. Came into class today and wouldn't shut up during the lecture," Taking hold of the unpeeled orange you had left since it seemed like far too much work at the time, he peeled the skin off without a word, holding out the first piece to you before popping one into his mouth. "Professor Choi loved it, annoying as fuck when most of us just come since attendance is mandatory even though it's a gen-ed class,"

"We're the same year, he had always been popular," Heeseung shrugged. "Definitely annoying considering he used his looks for basically everything and acted cocky all the time,"

"The pretty one?" Sunoo asks, glancing around while he gained a few pointed looks for the comment. "What? My bad I've never seen him before," He pouts, hands up to show his lack of defense.

"Stalker," Ni-ki reminds, entirely ambient on making it knowing for everyone how uncomfortable he was to be around. "Doesn't matter what he looks like, he's still a weirdo,"

Jungwon lets out a small snort at his comments while Heeseung suddenly changes the subject. The conversation topic switching over to plans of a staycation in the near future while Jake absentmindedly holds out the last slice of orange for you to take.

“He comes over here and I’m throwing this apple at his head,” Jay warns, holding up the partially bitten fruit causing you to grimace.

“I don’t think he’s that dumb,” Sunghoon snickers. “And that’s gross, you can see all your teeth marks,”

“Who cares?” Jay retorts, beginning to bicker as the two change the topic for the second time in a near minute. Everyone else following along, paying no mind and rather comfortable in one another’s company.

You felt Jake’s arm wrap around your shoulders, pulling you closer to his side as he leans down to your ear. “You alright?” He mumbles, breath fanning against your skin causing you to shiver but nonetheless nod along.

You pull away slightly, enough to see his face while a small smile peaked at the corners of your lips. You had to admit, it wasn’t ideal and made you exhausted having to deal with your past. You put on a brave face, one enough for the others but for some reason, Jake could see through it more than you knew.

He let out a small sigh, a lingering kiss placed to the crown of your head as he did so. “You’re alright,” Jake spoke, the words intended to reassure you, fully certain of it for your sake and that seemed to be more than enough to help your nerves for the time being.

Letting out a puff of air, you allow yourself to melt into his side, settling in comfortably as your head tucked itself below his chin, leaned into his chest and arms caged around you for extra support. Your attention was brought back to the rest of your friends, eyes meeting with Yunjin who sat with an amused expression being one of the ones who knew everything while Heeseung had his nose scrunched up with disgust.

“I hate couples,”

my tags!! @slutforsjy @jaklvbub @whowantshota @addictedtohobi @coolwitu @simjyunnie @kgneptun @graythecoffeebean @143ikeu @zyvlxqht @tesywesy @nxzz-skz @aishisgrey @missmischief1408

( pls make sure your settings make you applicable to tag )

[drawingbakeryy]

(UPDATED INTRO)

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-

Hello my name is bakeryy(online name BUT you must have the two y’s its important) but you can also call me bake! i dont mind which one.

I am a minor so pls dont be weird af

i see any pronouns

likes: IM A HUGEEE DONNIE FAN, also a future donnie fan too heheh, i love drawing a lot, you'll see my account filled with loads of donnie drawings, i love editing and animating!

dislikes: all of the basics, proshippers, tcests, etc etc basically every problematic things, just NO WEIRD PEOPLE GET AWAY.

Fandom: ROTTMNT, undertale, popee the performer, and the thief and the cobbler, camp camp, MHA (present mic lover)

ASK ME ANYTHING! it will take a bit for me to respond but go ahead and ask me stuff!!

other socials: TIKTOK

BYF‼️‼️: I like to post rottmnt content mainly future Donnie but there is some Donnie drawings, I would like to start on a comic but I have a comic to finish on my TikTok- but wtv

DNI: PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT IF YOUR A PROSHIPPER, TCEST, ETCETC, NSFW ACCOUNT, IF YOUR A WEIRDO, JUST RUDE IN GENERAL, OR YOUR A SENSITIVE PERSON (the type that takes everything srs)

please!!! Interact if your nice, into rottmnt and a minor, I would love to make mutuals 😼😼💪🏼💪🏼

(just know i dont respond a lot but i will try.)

About me: Hi! my name is bakeryy (drawingbakeryy). I started with a account on TikTok just to post 2 videos for fun, with like no intentions into becoming this known. it was around the time i got into ROTTMNT(oct 4th 2022), then my first known video was my comic on TIKTOK that I never expected for it to blew up but it did. honestly i dont regret a thing, I made amazing friends and I love my followers sm I swear they give me motivation and they are just so nice so thank you ❤️

uhh idk what else to put on here so I’ll just post this and edit ir later if I got smt lol

[beyuwol]

XTH TIME'S THE CHARM !!! hello... as usual i did not write this up nor did i post this in time. sorry about that! i hope my snail pace won't deter you from sticking around! this is velv- *sound of lorry passing by* disregard my previous failed attempts here i promise i will do better this time and today i bring you han yuwol, violin prodigy stepping into the ~band kids zone~ and who knows if that'll work out. happy to be exploring his future with you guys! without further ado, here are the notable links:

PROFILE ⋆ BACKGROUND

other than that, under the cut will be a list of general connections or plot ideas that we can work with, though i'm always open to brainstorm B) as usual, please LIKE THIS POST for me to slide into your ims for plotting purposes! i also have twitter (which sucks now) / discord (sucks less?) upon request

PLOT IDEAS !

if you peruse through his profile, you can see that he... barely has any hobbies tbh. probably not healthy. he would need someone more... free? fun? creative? to introduce him to some Fun hobbies (pls) that ISN'T music related!

more rebellious souls who would convince him to skip violin practice once in a while to hang out. take him to a bar. convince him to get his first piercing. make him Break Some Rules even if it feels like you'd be talking to a wall sometimes... IT WILL HAPPEN

fellow nepobabies who he would've "hung out" with during formal events and the like. people his parents might've told him to "befriend" and the connection remains superficial or... you two actually managed to become real friends!

would be nice if there was a pianist out there who would've performed with yuwol here and there for performances. could be friends... could be... people who were just forced to perform together. here's a ref to the vibes of yuwol's performances (usually it's hauntingly mesmerizing vibes)

other than that, acquaintances or friends from the classical music scene would be nice! people he knew from the orchestra. someone who might've trained with him. whether the connection is negative or positive, i'm open to both. he can't always have friends!

friends or people he knew from high school! he would've been a... goody two shoes, but would also have days when he would be absent performing. i... honestly haven't decided where he went to school so. lol. ehe woopsies. maybe ppl think he always seem so arrogant with how he keeps himself "busy"... or maybe you rlly are friends!

university friends! i also... did not decide where yet. haha woopsies x2! same things apply.

people from the Band Scene(tm), he's kind of 'new' as an active participant (guitarist/violinist/vocalist...?) but he always loved coming to watch performances because he simply loved music. so maybe people he knew from that circle, and now bam the violin prodigy is trying out band!

a few close friends who he can actually talk to. he isn't the most expressive person but he is usually friendly and kind, always willing to lend an ear to those he deems a close friend! he's not above laughing at you or tell you as it is if you fucked up somewhere though. even if he'll try to help out. he might sometimes crash your place when his parents are being Particularly More Unreasonable than usual and he needs an out (rare, but happens!)

can't really imagine him having mutual enemies... if someone disliked him he would just. laugh about it. and act like normal. which, granted, can probably piss people off

drinks coffee. eats junk food if he isn't told to eat properly, tbh. people who work at the cafe he frequents... people who see him eat terribly and then decide THIS HAS TO CHANGE!!! IT'S TIME FOR PROPER MEALS!!

I JUST READ ABOUT THE XMAS MARKET EVENT… so those too, please! 🙏

if you have any other ideas... please hit me with them!! i loveeeeeee brainstorming and mixing ideas and just READING. thank u all <3

[stardustfanfare]

Pls do a whole essay on akiangel im interested 💞

HELLO ANON. ok let me gather their thoughts. first of all there is SOOO much mischaracterization going on with them in fandom which i think is partially due to what my good friend fletcher has dubbed "prettyboy yaoi syndrome" which is a very funny way of putting it (u know in fandom when there is two guys shipped together because they are two guys around the same age and thats it. yeah) BUT the thing is they actually DO have depth. and you cant get to the core of their relationship without peeling back a bunch of layers. they both have a lot of emotional issues and feelings of isolation (angel being a devil and therefore alienated and used as a tool and aki feeling like everyone he loves dies and like hes not allowed to be weak or open in front of people). so when they start to care about each other i dont think its romantic. like there can absolutely be romantic undertones but i also think their relationship can be really deep and meaningful and completely platonic if u wanna read it that way. neither of them expect to love each other. they want to protect each other but almost never say it. their most intimate moments are those of the mundane; comfortable silences and late nights. aki is struggling with fear and angel is struggling to rationalize his emotions in general i think. this is only the second time this has happened to him. hes got a standoffish nature and hes not like a flustered cute prettyboy!!!! hes stubborn and an asshole and not ready to love. hes literally like. not a part of society at all. aki has had a tragic life with loss after loss after loss and struggles with Too Many emotions rather than too few. there is nothing normal about their circumstances. in another life they might fall in love differently. they have a mutual understanding of each other. they have a mutual fear of letting people in close. they die before they learn how to love each other.

[alterousuggestion]

Hi can you help me understand myself pls?

I really don’t understand the difference between platonic and romantic feelings/relationships. I’m worried that if I end up dating someone that I’ll upset them with how open i am with my love and affection. I also don’t understand monogamy. I’m really bad at explaining things so bare with me pls

So if I’m dating someone who’s monogamous because I love them and I’m sexually attracted to them

AND

Love my friends and I’m sexually attracted to them too

But only have sex with the one I’m dating

Questions : does that make me aro? And should I set some boundaries with my friends when it comes to the romantic type of affection? Is it cheating if I don’t set boundaries? Should I not date a monogamous person?

I just wouldn’t want my partners feelings getting hurt that’s all. Thanks

Hello~ I am so sorry it took me forever to get around to answering this.

I think it's very common in both aro and alloromantic circles to sometimes tell the difference between platonic and romantic attraction, especially if, as an alloromantic, you are on the younger side in age (not always, but sometimes!!). It's something that comes with experience, on both sides. The alloromantic person will eventually get better at realising the nuances in their feelings, and the aromantic person will also get better at understanding themselves as well.

As always, I can't give you a 100% yes you are aro because what being aromantic means is different for everyone. However, what I will say is that you recognising that your love and affection, as well as your sexual attraction, can apply to more than one person at the same time, can be an indication of a more non-monogamous/polyamorous attraction style.

I am not an expert on this, so please view this as a jumping off point into your own research rather than a 100% correct answer. I would recommend researching up on polyamorous relationships, and I would also recommend to do some research on relationship anarchy, and see if that is something that would interest you. I also want to say that being polyamorous and aromantic is not mutually exclusive, as there are many people who are both.

Now to answer your questions:

Does that make me aro?

Reflect on how you feel in terms of your romantic attraction. 'Love' is a very broad term. What does it mean to you? Do you love your partner and your friends in the same way? Are there differences? Does calling it romantic attraction when it comes to your S/O feel good? What about your friends? Do you get a positive reaction when you think of your attraction in romantic terms, or do you feel indifferent or maybe even a bit uncomfortable?

From what you wrote, I sensed that you may be conflating sexual attraction and romantic attraction. Remember, aromantic means you have little to no romantic attraction. It is distinct from being asexual.

Should I set some boundaries with my friends when it comes to the romantic type of affection?

This is a tricky one. For the meantime, until you are able to figure out what you are feeling and what you would desire, I would say yes. I think it's really important to realise that, while feeling attracted to multiple people at the same time isn't wrong, it can be hurtful to the person you are in a relationship if they don't understand. It can also come across as confusing to your platonic friendships too. Boundaries are extremely important no only for yourself, but for others too. Like I said, it isn't wrong, but it's so important to be mindful of the fact that our experiences will touch and affect others too.

Is it cheating if I don’t set boundaries?

It might come off that way to your partner, so I would say yes, although it's a bit more complicated than that since you might have a different perspective. You need to be clear and honest to yourself about what you want, and you need to respect what your partner wants too.

Should I not date a monogamous person?

In general, if you feel as if you would like to explore polyamory and your attraction to multiple people, then being with someone who is monogamous can be a challenge. Both people have needs, and they may come off as contradicting. Again, neither of you are wrong, but it's about knowing what you are and are not comfortable with in a relationship. Ultimately, this is a conversation you need to have with your partner.

I understand not wanting to hurt your partners feelings, but honesty is always the most important thing in my opinion. Respect yourself and your partner enough to have this conversation, because it's about honouring you both.

Here are some resources that might help you out further:

[meowzfordayz]

Hello!! I was thinking of some of my generally favourite tropes and at the very top there's the "and there was only one bed" one 🌸 if you feel like it, I would love to read your interpretation of it involving Sanemi! Make of it what you want. Sending kisses 💞

Hiya! I’ve reread your request for ~days, and haven’t felt inspired. 😭 I could offer some quick hcs, but just can’t seem to brainstorm an entire fanfic. 🥺 Update: nvm... Ig this is actually a proper hcs fanfic now lol (I started writing those “quick” hcs, and then it suddenly wasn’t so quick anymore). 🤪🤗💗

Author’s Note: not much to report other than it’s super sunny outside !! ☀️ Which, isn’t related to this fanfic in the slightest lmao.

and there was only one bed

Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader

Word Count: ~700

CW: explicit language

~faqs~

Overall, I feel like Sanemi’s not too dramatic about it ??

Certainly caught off guard, but attempts to be suave like “it is what it is” *shrugs*

He has bigger fish to fry than to bitch about there only being one bed

Exception(s) being: if he hates you (which, you’d def know 😆) OR if he loves you (which, for the sake of ~tension, let’s assume you don’t know yet 👀)

If you’re acquainted (friendly)

Sanemi freaks out a lil — sure he doesn’t ~dislike you, but jumping from “they’re okay” to “let’s share a bed!” has him like 😵‍💫

Will offer to sleep on the floor, but if you insist on sharing, then he’s absolutely rolling an extra blanket to serve as a divider between y’all

So when he wakes up before you, an unfamiliar weight slung over his back, he almost shouts

Until he realizes it’s just your arm, unconsciously seeking his warmth 🥲

Does he remove it ??

100% yeah and also 100% immediately regrets it bc ngl it was kinda nice

If you’re acquainted (enemies)

Literally fights you for the bed

I’m talking one of you goes to sleep w/ a black eye

Lowkey a miracle you don’t get kicked out for fighting in the lobby lmao

He prob wins tbh

Gloats the entire morning after about how amazingly he slept 😌

If you’re friends (platonic)

Yanno those blissful, innocent days of sleepovers w/ friends when you were like, 7 ??

That’s you and Sanemi sharing a bed #platonically

No pressure, no awkwardness

You def banter about how the receptionist thought you were dating #as if 🥴

Just good vibes, tickle fights, and then competing to see who falls asleep first

Whether or not you cuddle is a mutual decision

If you’re friends (romantic)

MY DUDE

Sanemi is in shambles

He seems so angry ??

“There’s only one room?” his teeth clenching, “Yes sir,” the poor receptionist 😅, “Fine, we’ll take it.”

EXCUSE ME ??

Fuck, now I get to share a room w/ this grumpy ass

Not that you’re disappointed !!

But it’s def disheartening when the guy you’re in love w/ is clearly irritated by the prospect of sharing space w/ you 😔

Not to mention: you’re friends ?? 🤔

Yeah, one room’s inconvenient, but it’s not like you ~hate each other’s guts ?? 🙄

...

“THERE’S ONLY ONE BED.”

You frantically slap his shoulder

Like, Shut up shut up shut up, “I can see that, Sanemi. No need to yell.”

“First there’s one room, and now there’s one bed.”

The roughness in his voice makes you think he’s beyond pissed

But really, he’s beyond terrified 😣

How is he supposed to handle sleeping next to you when he can barely function within 10 feet of you ?????

“I can sleep on the floor?” you suggest reluctantly carefully

“No.”

You’re both surprised

He did NOT mean to say that out loud 😭

#no take backsies

“Uh, so you want the floor?”

“No.”

WTF ?????

“So… we’re sharing the bed?”

He nods

You raise an eyebrow

“Alright.”

He’s simultaneously applauding himself and sobbing — inwardly

Fortunately, by the time you’re fully unpacked, he’s calmed himself down Thank fuck

And the rest of the night is relaxing, enjoyable, playful

You are friends after all

He holds himself together until he’s positive you’re asleep

And then he legit squeaks

Like, an excited, giddy, I-can’t-believe-it squeak

Idc if that’s ^ ooc — pls and ty let this man have his head-over-heels moment 😤

...

“Sanemi?” you poke him

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry. I feel like you didn’t sleep well,” you mumble sheepishly

I mean, you’re not ~exactly wrong 😶

Bc he didn’t sleep at all 🙃

He doesn’t give a single fuck tho

Of course I didn’t sleep, you’re so insufferably pretty 🥰

You blink

“What?” he grunts, annoyed by your curious stare

“Err- Nothing.”

He rolls his eyes

Sanemi thinks I’m insufferably pretty ?! 🥺

...

FUCK

Is what he thinks when he’s finally in his own bed, alone, replaying his whirlwind of a weekend w/ you

He dials your number in an instant

Were you already anticipating his call ??

~Possibly

“That didn’t take too long,” is your greeting

“Fuck you,” he says, even as he melts listening to your soft, drowsy giggle, “Well? Tell me!”

“Tell you what?” you tease

“Am I pretty too?” he grumbles impatiently

“You’re the prettiest, Sanemi.”

His breath stutters at how immediate your answer is

“Not quite,” he murmurs, “That would be you.”

[yoselin-uyu]

♣️ Hiii love <3

HellooOOo !! Thanks for asking !! ✧\(>o<)ﾉ✧

You're my: ♡(> ਊ <)♡

GURLLLL I WAS WAITING FOR YOUUU !! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LIKE YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME

Your my bestie, my beloved, my bfffff, the reason why am i here !! Really i dont lie when i say it ! *Cries in mexican*

How I met you: (灬º‿º灬)♡

First i saw your art on Pinterest GOD BLESS THE APP 'couse i found your Twitter and i was like "girl you need to do something for her" and so then i did !! AND YOU RESPOND i was so happy !! 'Couse it was my first digital drawing and you liked it !! *Stop or i will cry* and then we starded talking and you didn't ignore me damn im so thankfull *starts to cry*

Why I follow you: ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

I MEAN HELLO ? WHY WOULD I NOT your so kind, and lovely, and my mutual AND MY VERY FIRST FRIEND dont forget you draw AMAZING !!

Your blog is: ✨🤍🌅🌠🌁💛🌼

WONDERFULL !!! I LOVE how the colors suits joslyn personality !!!

Your URL & icon is: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

THANKS YOU SO MUCH FOR PUTTING MY ART ON YOUR HEADER i really enjoy so much drawing joslyn, the couple look so cute im melting, this will be always my fav. ship they just look so perfect together !!

And the icon of joslyn made be @hphm-jeniferltheman IS SO BEAUTIFUL i mean look at her !!! Isn't she a cutie ??!

A random fact I know about you: ⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾

I saw you grow on tumblr i feel like mama' seing his child, oh god thanks again

That our Mc's almost have the their Birthday's the same day !!! That MUST be a signal, oh and that my name is yoselin almost like joslyn maybe thats why i wanted to do something and talk to you !

General opinion: ヽ(｡◕o◕｡)ﾉ.

ALL THE HPHM FANDOM LOVES/LIKE YOU, I know thats true and who doesn't must have something wrong going around (no mean to offense pls just jk), AND i dont blame who likes you, you are lit. That friend we all need.

AND i love that you are always willing to help, or just listen to me when i need to say something thats just random !

A random thought I have: ლ(^o^ლ)

That i hope that we keep being friends because I appreciate you too much, oh and that i would love to know more about you pls !!! Maybe i will ask you random questions if you let me ofc HAHAH !!

YOUR DOING AMAZING SWEETIE !!!

[nightswithkookmin]

BREAKING NEWS

Oh so he's not gay??🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Kpop fans are hilarious

Hello. This is 2PM’s Chansung.

The cold winter season is already here. I began activities when I was 17, and 15 years have passed already. A lot has happened, and there have been many memories. I express endless gratitude to HOTTEST who have created valuable memories. Today, I am telling you about changes and happiness in my life.

There is someone who I have been in a relationship with for a long time. This person has been the resting place for my unstable heart and a friend who I can share anything with for a long time, and she became my girlfriend. While preparing and planning marriage with this person after my military discharge, the blessing of a new life came to us earlier than expected, and we are planning to get married as early as the beginning of next year. We are very cautious as she is in the early stage of her pregnancy, but I am sharing this news as I thought that I should tell you first.

My partner on this road to creating a new family does not have the same job as me, so I ask for your generous understanding for not revealing her.

In addition, my contract with JYP Entertainment, which I have been with for 15 years, ends in January. I went through much discussion with the company regarding my thought to go down my own path along with the addition of my new family that I will continue life with, and we came to the mutual discussion to not renew my contract. The decision was made through communication with my future as the priority, and the company willingly gave blessings for my bright future. The company is my root and like an old friend, and we will always support each other’s growth. My definite path has not been decided yet, but I will share plans that won’t cause concern to fans.

As I relayed so much information today, I am concerned and worried about how our HOTTEST will feel at the sudden news. I will work hard as I am right now in the near future in order to impress as 2PM’s youngest member Chansung and actor Hwang Chansung.

Thank you.

I love this so much. Can't explain why.

But look at how this man prioritizes the safety of his wife and kid he actually IS admonishing fans to KEEP THE IDENTITY OF HIS WIFE TO BE A SECRET because she is not in the same industry and he intends yo shield her from the cuckoo toxicity of the fandom.

Imagine his frustration if her identity were to be leaked by saessangs... cough Tae cough. I wonder if, with her safety as his priority, he would risk posting her and blurring out her face in photos as code to his fans on his IG🤔

It reminded me so much of our conversation on Namjoon's alleged boyfriend and whether or not showing him off was more important to him and took precedence over him protecting this person or even hiding his sexuality.

Kpop idols are supposed to keep a facade and create the impression they are single, straight and available at all times. The moment that is not the case either because you are gay or married or have a gf you might be kicked out of your group due to fan backlash.

We've seen it happen over and over again with hyuna and dawn etc

I mean why does this 31 yr old man feel a need to start a solo career and leave his company just because he has wife and kid on the way?

It's probably for the best but still.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by 황찬성 (@hwang_chan222)

Oh and I found an image he posted blurred with the same heart emoji namjoon used but Yall pls that's not his girlfriend 😫

I mean his group even were the most popular amongst the gays😫😫😫😫

Well they beat the gay allegations 🤣🤣🤣

Y'all get the point I'm making?? We rush with the G-word too early in this fandom 😫

GOLDY

[albatris]

Hey, hi, hello. The music associated with ocs thing: nat & quinn please! I'm love them & every rental car related post I've seen. ^^

hello, hi, hey! I'm very very late, but I was in the mood for Tunes today so I come bearing gifts for u

thank you for the ask!! and for the kind words also, I'm so happy you've enjoyed rental car so far :D

nat and quinn were popular choices for this game, which is fine by me because I obviously have a soft spot for these two ahaha. so, there are a few tunes for them I posted a while ages back in response to this game and potentially some more on the way! again, I know I'm late, rip

but for now mmmmmm two tunes for both I think c:

and pls forgive my rambles, I love talking oc music so much

"Mx. Sinister" by I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME is a funky little Quinn tune! albeit a distressing one. pretty self-explanatory for an all-round shady bastard. a tune fitting for both an early story Quinn who is. for lack of a better word. Extremely Fucking Sinister. in their hunting down and acquiring of allies and useful people and "friends", as well as an early story Quinn who's in a bit of a love-and-obsession spiral with a particular new ally of theirs c: either way, shifty, ruthless, manipulative, little regard for the other person's opinions on the matter

Oh, you never seem to notice when I follow you home / In the dark of your apartment when you think you're alone / What will it take? What else should I do? / How far must I go to prove that I love you?

whether it's genuine love or just a convenient illusion they spin together to get folks to trust them It's Fuckin Shady As Hell

plus the chorus in general of course

And I'll get you yet / I've got to make you mine / Just know I'm not the sinister type

aaaand next up for Quinn is "The Fox" by North Bloom, which is one that came up on my discover weekly that I immediately yoinked for my playlist

fantastic vibe for a scared Quinn who's starting to slip a little bit

I thought I was always awake / I thought I wouldn't make a mistake / They say I lost hold of the glue / They say that my view is skewed

n particularly this part lmao

But it's hard to get around / When you can't see the ground / Or the path that leads me to / A bond built on something other than bluffing

these are some Quinn vibes if I've ever heard them :( most of their relationships aren't exactly mutual and trusting, the only way Quinn feels safe in their relations to others is if they can maintain the upper hand at all costs, often resorting to manipulation and bluffing and occasionally blackmail. they feel uncomfortable and vulnerable without it. Quinn's approach to relationships is to immediately establish the best way to gain control over the other party and keep that control at all costs, so constantly being paranoid and On Guard and lying through their teeth comes with the territory, n they have very few real friends

n like. oh, sure, Quinn doesn't recognise it at first, but they're SUPER fucking lonely and isolated, like, this song has some good Yearning in it too. they have no fuckin CLUE how to establish a bond built on anything other than, yeah, bluffing and manipulating and whatever in a frantic effort to Keep Control and maintain their image as someone formidable and not to be backstabbed. plus also

Could I have your attention just for a second / I'm trying to tell you that all of this blame and this shame / It is all mine to take, I have so much to say / So I'm trying my best just to do what I can / Without addressing the topic at hand

Quinn Cooper, master of "I'm desperately lonely and scared and isolated and I want to open up to the people I care for but I'm going to sidestep the entire conversation and beat around the bush and never use any specifics because this is fucking terrifying to me"

(genuine connection and real friendship?? no open up and be vulnerable!!! only genuine connection and real friendship!!)

n lastly "chronically dire / reliable liar" is too delightful a Quinn description to skip out on c:

as for Nat tunes!!!!

I have to include the obligatory Super Edgy Nat Tune which is "An Ode To Death" by Birds of Tokyo. honestly this song all round is a fantastic vibe for this poor boy's many, many, MANY ongoing personal crises

Tell me, how far would you go / Would you take the life of another? / Will you be the one to say no? / Forgive and forget when you die, my love

plus of course the repetition throughout the song of "Never will I see the sun again" and "Where were you Monday? / I was not missing, I was dead" are real good too :3 like, oh, perhaps a dash too literal but not technically WRONG. either way they're good lines for a truly sad little miserable vampire lmao

and finally, I was tossing up between two songs here, but I think "Dear Wormwood" by The Oh Hellos is an excellent Nat tune, specifically for the kinda..... ramping up to the climax of the story scenes, where the mystery is mostly solved and all that's left to do is fuck shit up with the Garble

like. the end gets Loud and Passionate but it's still quite a gentle, sad song imo. I have plenty of angry vs. Garble tunes but this one is. just. yeah. yep

I have always known you You have always been there in my mind But now I understand you And I will not be part of your designs

I know who I am now And all that you've made of me I know who you are now And I name you my enemy

like!!!!!! hello. this is just such a great little vibe for a Nat who finally has all the pieces put together and has accepted what he's about to do, intense and determined but not angry, with a newfound self-assuredness and understanding of himself, both in terms of the role he's playing in this whole stupid mess and just like........... himself as a person, what’s at his core, what he wants, what his morals are, the ability to stand firm in his convictions. v good. yep

anyway thank u for coming to my ted talk and also for reading these rambles <3 mwah. goodnight I'm going to bed

[megumisbimbo]

Still Into You - Takeda Ittetsu

request from @kalesugar

if it’s possible,, could i get some takeda fluffs based on the classic still into you from paramore? i saw that you like to work with songs!

kale baby !! here’s your long awaited request! i’m so sorry it took so long! tumblr deleted my ask box a while ago and i wasn’t able to find your request but lucky me ! i took a screenshot of it !! hope you enjoy it <3

this fic is based off the song: still into you by paramore <3 so you can listen to it while you read !

Your job was secured. Another transfer to a school located in..the Miyagi Prefecture. The place where you grew up. It would be nice to go back and work for the school that was practically your second home. You missed Karasuno and the people there. So you packed up your things and hopped on a train headed for Miyagi.

It was late at night when you arrived at your apartment, boxes and bags littering the floor. It was a painful sight. But you got to work quickly, only unpacking the essentials you needed for the night and for the upcoming work day. After brushing your teeth and washing your face off, you hop into bed and aimlessly scroll through your phone setting up your alarms and checking last minute emails. It was your old high school so you knew the place inside and out, but you couldn’t help but feel a little nervous at the thought of teaching there. But there was no time to sit and overthink.

— — —

The piercing sound of your alarm wakes you up. Today was the day. You took your time getting ready, making sure everything was in order. You couldn’t afford to mess up on the first day. You hop into your car, your bag and to-go mug of coffee in your hand. Whether you were ready or not didn’t matter, you need this job, so everything had to be perfect.

And everything was perfect. The school day went smoothly and the students were kind and attentive. Of course, there were a few who dozed off during the lesson, but you pay them no mind. Lunch time had arrived, so you head to the teacher’s lounge and take a seat at one of the tables.

“Hello! Are you the new history teacher?” A friendly face asked.

“Oh hi yes I am. My name is y/n, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you as well y/n. My name is Yuki!”

Yuki takes a seat next to you and chats with you for the rest of the lunch break, asking general questions about your life and your time in high school at Karasuno.

“Yuki! There you are I’ve been looking for you! I have some files I was asked to give you.”

Your attention turns to the man that just walked in. He looked oddly familiar, his dark locks disheveled and his glasses sitting on the front of his nose. Then it hit you. How could you forget?

“Ittetsu? Is that you?”

“Uh yes, do I know yo- Y/N?!”

His eyes widen as he recalls the time you spent together when you were both students at the school.

“Oh my god how have you been it’s been so long!” He asks stepping towards you.

He was still handsome, his black hair still framed his face so well. The sweet smile that greeted you daily was decorating his face. Oh how you missed his smile.

You stand up and wrap your arms around him.

“I’ll let you two catch up!” Yuki says, taking the files from Takeda and making her way out the room. Takeda turns back to you with the same eyes you fell in love with all those years ago.

“I missed you Ittetsu...” You whisper, voice only audible to him. He pulls you closer, his arms wrapping around your waist.

“I missed you too.”

Time goes by slowly, as you spend the extra time outside of class conversing with your old best friend.

“How was Tokyo?” He asks you.

“It was good but nothing compares to being back home.”

“I missed you here..Well we missed you! Yeah all of us did!”

Takeda’s face burns a bright red as you smile at him. You place your hand on his cheek, his eyes wide and nervous.

“Uh- y/n?”

Your stomach rushes with butterflies as you realize just where your hand was.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to-“

He reaches out and grabs your hand again, placing it against his cheek. He leans into your soft touch.

“Ittetsu I...”

“y/n I need to tell you something..”

“...yes?”

Takeda’s face inches close to yours as your old feelings for him resurfaced. His lips brush against yours. You can feel his hot breath against them as he utters the words you’ve been waiting to hear.

“y/n...I’m still into you.”

Without wasting another second your press your lips against his. You cup his cheeks, which are hot from the deep blush decorating his face. You turn your face, deepening the kiss. His hands roam your body settling at your waist. He pulls you close, your chest flush against his.

“Ittetsu...I’m in love with you. I have been...for quite some time.”

He smiles, brushing his finger across the apple of your cheek.

“The feeling’s mutual.”

this was a little short but i hope you liked it kale baby <3

— megumisbimbo © 2021 — pls do not repost or translate

taglist: @erensbunny @mitsuluv @izukine @xenihime @fiaficsxo @glittrkink @dancingazaleas @s4ijohs @rintarouss @innrsoul @kalesugar @nkogneatho

[pinencurls]

“I could just hold you and listen to your voice all night long.”

Hiii so this is my entry to @stellarboystyles‘s three year anniversary fic challenge! I’ve been busy with getting ready for classes starting and balancing other stuff so I wrote it on and off for a week and a bit but I hope you all enjoy! Feedback is so so encouraged and appreciated <3 

Here’s my masterlist of some other stuff I’ve written x 

Enemies (more like friends but oops) to lovers, prompt 9 “I could just hold you and listen to your voice all night long.”

14k+ :) Not read through sorry! pls let me know of any mistakes and I’ll correct them <3 (also i k n o w the title's bad but i couldn’t think of anything, pls feel free to leave any recs.)

- - - - 

It isn’t that I hate Harry. He just makes me feel...insecure. He’s never said or done anything directly but it’s hard to feel good about yourself when all your closest confidants seem to compare you to somebody else, somebody they so clearly hold higher above you. There wasn’t a single day I could meet a mutual friend of mine and Harry’s and not have them sing his praises, and apparently everyone was a mutual friend. I’ve known Julia and Theo for years, we all met in uni when they first started going out but it wasn’t until a year ago that I somehow ended up finding myself a regular within the friendship group they’d formed when they both went into the music and fashion industries. They had ties everywhere and after a pure coincidence of running into them and their circle at a pub, almost all my weekends were spent in various art galleries or new restaurants owned by somebody’s cousin or the guy they met last night at a Fleetwood Mac concert. 

I’d met Harry about five months into hanging out with the group. He’d known them a lot longer than I had, weaving his way into the little pockets of interesting people for years since the x factor. I was busy with work the first few times he was in town but after a while, Nick, the persistent party planner of the group who always managed to wrangle us together, insisted that I just had to meet him.                  . . . . . 

Eleanor’s house is huge and buzzing with hundreds of strangers. I cling to Julia and Theo’s side, Nick and Eleanor are nowhere in sight - most likely playing host or drinking too much chardonnay in another corner of the house. These four are the only people I can say I really know here, sure there are a few familiar faces on the dance floor, either from having met them at any of Eleanor's past elaborate parties or just because of they’re not so subtle fame. That’s another thing, all the people sipping wine and dancing around me are fairly...well known. Either just within the industry or to the general public too, they’d all gain fairly high status. It was a fluke really that I got on so well with Julia when we first met on a fashion course in uni. 

Julia had big goals, all of which she was on track to fulfil, that conflicted slightly with mine. Her goals consisted of runway show models clad in designer brands she might one day contribute to whereas mine were more...anti, that whole world. It took a few years to find a steady footing but eventually, I was proud of where I’d ended up: a comfortable little cubby in the fashion and sustainability columns of a handful of independent magazines. After a few nights out with Julia, I was pleasantly surprised to find her shared interests and solidarity in my work and ambitions of her own within the same ideology. But whilst that’s all well and good, I’m still very much the small indie journalist that slips through the cracks when it comes to small talk at these kinds of events. It became apparent pretty quickly that my latest articles on how fast fashion had begun its destruction of a liveable environment in developing countries weren’t as relevant or interesting to the people promoting Prada and Calvin Klein as the next met gala theme. 

“Do you want another drink?” Theo asks from beside me, pulling my focus from my scan of the room. 

“No thanks..I’m good.” I murmur, debating how long I have to stay before I can slip out and feel a little less awkward around all the people I have no clue how to talk to. “Think I’m gonna head off actually..”

“Look I know you hate networking, but this is just a chill get-together yeah?” Theo chuckles, squeezing my shoulder before taking another sip from his gin and tonic. “We’re in the same boat about these snooty things but tonight’s not like that, relax a bit will ya.” 

Theo works mostly with small-time music artists, producing debut albums and such so we share the same deep discomfort for the many events we often find ourselves at. It’s how we got close really, week after week we’d trail behind Julia as she strikes up conversations with Hollywood elite...and he always makes getting piss drunk in someone’s pool house exceptionally fun. 

Before I can further any excuses about getting home to start on the legitimate and ever-growing pile of work deadlines on my desk, a tall man in far too much Gucci to belong anywhere but in a room full of models and artists makes a beeline straight from the bar to our awkward party. 

“Harry!” Theo shouts, embracing the slightly tipsy man in a hug he reciprocates. 

“It’s been too long mate, how ‘ave you been?” Harry cheers, leaning back from the hug and grinning down at his friend. 

“I’ve been good - busy, enjoying the free bar as always.” Theo jokes, motioning between his and my matching G and T’s. Harry’s eyes wander up from the drink, realisation dawning on his face as he smiles again.

“Ah and you must be the famous Olivia,” He reaches his hand out to mine and shakes it lightly. “Sorry I didn’t introduce myself, ‘m Harry, it’s good to finally meet you, love.”  

“Likewise.” I smile, trying to suppress the blush his words of endearment tease. I can’t deny the natural charm and charisma everyone always talks about now that it’s hitting me straight on. There’s something about the way he doesn’t hesitate to hold eye contact just that little bit longer that makes the room go still for just a second. He’d got it down to a T.

“Aww I see you two have finally met!” Nick interrupts. My hand falls from Harry’s grip as he’s welcomed into another hug. “About fucking time as well, been trying get this one to take a night off for weeks!”

“I literally came out with you last Thursday!” I counter, not missing the smirk setting on Harry’s face as he watches Nick and I’s back and forth. “And the Saturday before, come to think of it I’m always out with you Nicky.” 

“Not when Harry’s in town though n’ that’s a different kinda night.” Nick laughs, his beer sloshing slightly in his free hand as his other remains draped over Harry’s shoulders. 

That was maybe the first sign of my slight resentment for Harry. All night I wandered around with Theo hearing little bits of conversations, all surrounding the star of the party. I understood this wasn’t his doing, his humility was clear in every one of his bashful attempts to turn the conversation away from his growing achievements and onto literally anything else. He was, however, a self-proclaimed narcissist. Every time somebody would swoon over him and insist he stay the topic of conversation, a smirk tugged at his lips and stayed there as he consumed the endless and animated praise from almost all the party guests. 

I’d expected some of his qualities to be untrue, learning from the past never to believe blindly of someone’s pure character when you didn’t truly know them. Especially when they frequented the gossip columns. But it wasn’t him so much, he was true to his motto of kindness and courteous even as people fawned over him, it was more the attention that surrounded him. As the night went on it became clear what Nick meant even if he didn’t know it himself. A night out with Harry was different because everyone made sure to capitalize off how different he made them feel.

. . . . .

“Can I get you anything else M’am?” The young waitress asks as she clears up my empty mug and saucer. My eyes falter a little as they adjust from the blue light of my laptop I’ve been staring at for the last twenty minutes. 

“Um- oh please could I just get a refill?” I ask. 

“Sure thing - mint tea right?” She smiles, adjusting the mug in her hands to make a quick note. 

 “Yeah..s’perfect - thank you.” She’s gone before she hears my delayed gratitudes, definitely used to the throngs of bemused writers tapping away at their laptops for hours. 

I turn back to my open google doc. So far it’s written in two parts I have no idea how to connect and my senseless rereading hasn’t resulted in any legitimate progress in almost an hour. I’d accept the rut I’m stuck in and work on something else for the day if I didn’t only have the day. Last night had been filled with plans of settling in early and finishing the last two thousand words on an upcoming sustainable clothing brand. That all went out the window of course as my phone buzzed off the kitchen counter with Nick’s insistence of yet another night out to celebrate ending the work week - his was quite different to mine. It was easy to ignore the persistent beeping of my phone as new texts and call notifications popped up every three minutes, but less so when the rhythmic bursts of noise were replaced by knocks on my front door. 

Within 40 minutes of opening it to Nick in a silk shirt and jeans too skinny for someone pushing thirty, I was two drinks in and dancing to Blue DeTiger with a pair of hands on my waist that I didn’t entirely recognise. It was just the six of us: Me, Nick, Ellie, Theo, Julia and Harry.

He was hard to ignore, not that I was trying particularly hard. On the drive over, the limited backseat space in Nick’s car and close proximity had practically forced me into his lap. Even with thighs pressed tightly against each other, we hardly talked, a few polite hellos here and there and then silence as we listened to Eleanor recall her latest night with whichever blonde bassist was her ‘soulmate’ that week. The whole ride over, Harry kept his hands on the thigh closest to the door and leant his shoulders the same way as to touch me as little as possible - which was still quite a lot considering the packed five seater pushing seven passengers. It was fairly common knowledge we weren’t close and I got the feeling he wasn’t too keen on me, but he could at least not act like touching me would be the worst thing ever. 

As the night went on he clung to Theo, ever the cuddly drunk, and I stayed more to the pleasant stranger I’d found on the dance floor.

No meanest was ever intended between us but I couldn’t help but watch the kindergarten like bitterness grow as everyone just loved him. We couldn’t go anywhere without a crying fan or two approaching the sweet and smiling man who always answered their questions affectionately and hugged them goodbye. The times he was out of town were always filled with comments about his absence, as if none of us were good enough without his added presence. I couldn’t help but wonder why they even bothered to bring me into their little group. The lack of closeness between Harry and I felt almost like a lack of closeness to the group as a whole, despite how much my individual friendships with everyone advanced. 

Just as I thank the waitress - Alice, her name tag read, and take the first sip of my third tea (I had to switch after a particularly strong starter coffee) I notice a familiar man out the corner of my eye looking just as rough as me. Of course he’s wearing it better than I am. 

Harry collects a drink from the counter and bows his head slightly in thanks, turning and catching my eye just as he’s on his way out. He waves with his free hand and shoots me a candid smile before making a quick change in direction towards my small table. 

“Long time no see,” He pulls the chair opposite me out a little as he chuckles at his own joke. He perches lightly, temporarily. “How’ve you been?”

“A little hungover, I won’t lie..” I laugh, surprised by the whole encounter. “You?” 

“Same, I might have had a shot or two too many,” I nod knowingly and shut my laptop softly. He sips what smells like coffee before going on. “Are ya workin? Sorry to interrupt.” 

“Oh no- I mean I am but it doesn’t matter really, ‘ve kinda hit a dead end.” His eyes hover, waiting for me to go on. “I was gonna get it done last night but Nick had other plans..” 

“Yeah Nick’ll do that to you,” He laughs, “What’re you writing ‘bout?” 

He leans slightly forwards, holding eye contact and shuffling comfortably into his chair. 

“Oh just this promotional piece on a new company, they’re hiring young women and training them to make these handmade clothes. They’re paying them above minimum wage and focusing on sustainability so this editor I’ve written for before offered me it.” I’m not really sure how sincere he is in his curiosity, he always seems to have time to listen when Julia has a new design plan or Theo’s found a new artist but that’s different really. I stop before I start to ramble, just in case. 

“That’s so cool, what kinda stuff are they making?” He prompts, resting his chin on his fist, imitating the posture of an eager little kid. 

“They've started stocking stuff by other independent artists but mostly dungarees and these cool cord trousers, they’d suit you actually, even got some 70s style ones.” Now that the two worlds are colliding in my head, I can’t help but imagine Harry in a pair of their forest green cords, the wide legs would almost bury his vans but a part of me is pretty sure he’d love them. 

“Thanks, if they come at your recommendation I might have to get my hands on a pair,” He smiles, his tone’s a lot different to the usual polite cheer, it’s difficult to place where it’s landed before he’s talking again. “Reminds me of that show you took us to with the upcycled clothes, all those dungarees made of old quilts - remember?” 

It’d been a small exhibit just outside of London I’d mentioned offhandedly and somehow ended up showing everyone around. It was nice to have them all in my world for an evening. Marcus, a friend of mine from college, had put it together and created a lot of the pieces. He and the others I’d met through my work were fairly shocked to say the least when Harry Styles came traipsing through the doors behind me. All night he quietly asked Nick questions, to which Nick only responded by motioning towards me and wandering off to the bar. 

“I do - I’m surprised you do to be honest.” It slips before I can decide if it sounds passive aggressive or not. To be fair, it had been a surprise to me, meeting everyone at the train station and watching Harry and Nick scramble out a taxi and run towards us. He’d been dressed in proper gallery attire and seemed genuinely thrilled to be joining in on the rare night I actually played host. 

“Course I do, it was a good night...I’d choose it over Nick’s tequila Tuesdays anyday.” His phone buzzes on the table, a text popping up in green. “Oh I- my manager’s waiting sorry.” 

A sheepish smile is accompanied by a loose arm movement towards the door where, out on the street, I see Jeff. He’s shaking his head and motioning for Harry to hurry up. Had Harry sat down to talk to me whilst his manager had been waiting this whole time? 

“It was good running into you, good luck with it all,” He stands. “See you friday yeah?” 

I’d totally forgotten about his “Whenever I’m in town Friday film night.” until he mentioned it. I’d been twice in the past and stayed quietly to my corner of the sofa, only watching as everyone else laughed at whatever romcom had been chosen that night. 

“I-maybe.” He shakes his head as I smile, not quite ready to commit a whole evening to watching Nick raid Harry’s wine cellar. 

“You better, I’m gonna need to hear more ‘bout those cords.” He points his hand in a kind of joking reprimand/wave before he’s gone back down the aisle of tables to the door where Jeff ruffles a hand through his hair and laughs when his hands fly to fix the now birdnest of brown curls. 

I open my laptop back up, skimming over the last few lines I wrote to get myself back on track. I take a sip and my tea’s gone cold. 

. . . . .

“Are you coming to Harry’s tonight?” Eleanor asks down the phone, her voice chipper as she no doubt raids her closet. 

“Maybe, I don’t know..I’ve got this deadline Monday morning that I’m nowhere near meeting.” 

“Come on Liv, we haven’t seen you all properly together since last month, and last week doesn’t count it was too loud to actually talk!” She chimes in, the sound of clothes being tossed to the floor clear in the distant background. “Have you got a problem with Harry or something?” 

“No Elle, of course I don’t-” 

“Then why do you guys never talk? You hardly come with us when he’s around and when you do you barely even say hello.” Eleanor complains, she’s mentioned it in the past but it’s been easy to blow off with excuses of how busy he usually was making his way around the room to greet everyone or how we just hadn’t known each other that long and weren't particularly close yet. 

“I just...I don’t know, I don’t think he likes me very much.” I pause. I still haven't decided what last Saturday was in the cafe. “We’re not really close and I’d prefer not to spend another night listening to people tell him - and everyone else - how great he is.” 

“You’re saying that like he’s some arrogant twit, if you came out with us more you’d see what he’s really like around his friends. Or you know, you could actually talk to him when we’re together and see that he’s not a dick?” 

It was a fair point. I haven’t made much of an effort over the past year to spend any time with him outside of larger gatherings or to have genuine conversations with him that went past the weather or a new jacket one of us had on. Maybe he really is a good guy away from all the pretentious crowds and watchful eyes he usually called to our group. He’d certainly seemed different in the quiet Saturday surroundings of Blondies Coffee Roasters in between sips of coffee. 

“Okay, okay yeah I’ll see you there.” We hang up a couple of minutes later and I’m left alone in my kitchen again.

. . . . . 

“Hey!” Harry cheers as the door swings open to reveal him in yet another pair of flared pants that hung comfortably around his waist. “Come in, come in.” 

We all pile in through the doorway as he steps aside. Arms weaving through each other as we hang coats and jackets and Julia passes Harry the fruit platter she’d made (and scolded us all for picking at on the drive over.) 

“Oh very appropriate,” Harry laughs as he uncovers the tray to reveal an array of sliced watermelon, strawberries and grapes, He sets the fruit down on the table in the lounge for us all to eat and shakes his head lightly. I look up at Julia for an explanation but she’s too busy claiming the comfiest loveseat for the night. “I’m never telling you anything again, Jules.” 

Julia and Harry tease each other for a moment more until Theo catches my confused stares and laughs to himself. 

“Harry wrote a song ‘bout fruit- another one actually,” Theo starts, tucking himself beside Julia and letting her take over before he can finish. “S’not just about fruit though is it H?” 

Harry blushes slightly and settles his glare on Julia as he carries six wine glasses through to the table. 

“‘S about watermelon, it just has some..” He clears his throat as he fumbles for his next sentence. “Other themes to it too.” 

“As if mate,” Theo’s laughter booms, “ Basically Liv, he wrote this new song the other day all about how much he loves to-” 

“Watermelon!” Harry yells, pointing an accusatory finger at Theo. “S’all about how much I love watermelons...I’m a fruit guy.” 

“Oh are we talking about the pussy song?” 

All heads snap round to see Nick, obviously having let himself in and now chuckling softly to himself as he leans against the archway into the room. 

“Oh sorry H, were you tryna give an interview answer?” 

Harry just slaps his palm over his eyes and lets his shoulders shake for a minute before he bounces back to host mode. 

“Okay!” I can’t help but notice how flushed the tips of his ears are as he claps his hands together, desperately trying to move on from the conversation. “Who wants wine?” 

Fifteen minutes later everyone is settled onto the sofas with an array of throws between us and a layout of fruits, crisps and other mid rom com snacks that make me feel bad I left my flat in too much of a hurry to remember anything but hummus. 

“Okay - Sixteen Candles, When Harry Met Sally or Mamma Mia?” Nick calls out, waving the tv remote above his head to get everyone's attention. An outpour of votes follows - you’d think between only six of us we’d be able to sort out a process by now but still we fall into momentary anarchy as the room divides. 

“Mamma Mia is a classic!” Eleanor protests as Nick’s shaking his head. 

“And Billy Crystal isn’t?” He yells back, eyes wide and genuinely offended. 

“Colin Firth is arguably more iconic, Nick really, come on.” Theo sighs. He accepts the high fives Ellie and I reach out to him and saluts us both. 

“We’ve all seen Mamma Mia before though, we’ve never watched When Harry Met Sally all together,” Julia points out, winning a smirk and nod of approval from Nick. 

There’s a beat of silence while Nick weighs up the votes in his head. He tilts to the side slightly and eyes Harry up, our gazes following. 

“Harry?” 

“Ellie?” 

“Come on, you’ve got the last vote here, and I know how much you like Meryl.” Nick gasps a little, the mention of Meryl Streep as a wager to win Harry over to his opposing team was definitely foul play in his eyes. 

“Yeah but he loves When Harry Met Sally...and he is a narcissist..” Julia offers into the debate, a few snickers follow her comment before we all turn to look at Harry. We’re all already half a glass in but I could swear for just a moment his eyes lingered over me, fluttering down to my smile before turning back to announce his decision to Nick. 

“I’m afraid I am in the mood for a bit of Abba,” Cheers and not so subtle murmurs of frustration fill the lounge as Nick scrolls through the Romance bar on Netflix before clicking on the film of just over half of our choosing. 

Everyone goes quiet as the film starts, breaking out into bursts of song only as the cast does. From the conversation in the car, it’s pretty clear everyone has just been through a pretty tiring week. We all tended to pile our workload a little heavy so it was always nice to escape for a few hours at the weekend and relax together.

Just as Voulez-vous plays through the room, a slightly tipsy Nick leans into Harry to serenade the singer with his own rendition. The duo sway slightly, both narrowly avoiding Nick’s wild limbs before there’s a crash and Harry’s cursing. 

“Oh- H, Sorry!” 

Nick’s wine glass that’d been balanced on the coffee table in front of him moments before now lays on its side. The, luckily white, wine trickles down onto the rug but most noticeably splashes into Harry’s lap. I’m not entirely sure how he managed it, it must have flown forwards when it was knocked but Harry quickly stands to access the damage. 

“I’m so sorry Harry I-” 

“Don’t worry mate, I’m just gonna go change and toss these in the wash..could you wipe that up for me?” Nick nods, looking a little less cheerful and a lot more guilty now as Harry makes it way out the room. He calls behind him: “Keep watching I’ll only be a second!” 

Nick finishes wiping down the table and rug just as Harry jogs back into the room. I don’t mean to and I’m never one to check people out..unless very subtly, but I can’t help but let my eyes linger a little. 

He’s still in his plain tee but instead of his fancy pants he’s found some soft wash denim jeans. The whole look paired with his thick rimmed glasses and how his hair's gotten tousled about by Nick throughout the night just made him look so...ordinary. Not in any bad way, anyone who met Harry knew he could never be ordinary, no matter how casual he dressed, but something about seeing him abandon the more dressed up looks and go for the comfortable option just made him seem different. 

In a second his green eyes are complimenting the look too as he gazes down at me. 

“Hi,” He mouths, nobody’s taken much notice of his return, yet another musical number taking everyone’s attention. It’s my turn to blush a little now. I avert my eyes quickly, anywhere really, before sneaking a quick look up at him to smile back. 

Ellie had helped Nick in the “For fucksake save Harry’s rug it probably costs more than your car” mission and had stolen the seat beside him after they were done. It slipped my mind until Harry set the new bottle of wine on the table and sunk down into the space beside me, He curls one leg underneath him and slips me one more smile before turning back to the screen just as Donna and Sam start singing SOS.

. . . . . 

“Ah shit, I think I left my book!” I curse just as we make it down the road to Julia’s car. Parking was shit so by the time we found a spot we’d ended up a good 15 minutes away from Harry’s house. “You guys go on, I’m only round the corner anyway.” 

Theo and Julia were familiar with my stubbornness so let me go, yelling their goodbyes after a few hugs as they drove away, Ellie and Nick do the same as they clamber into a taxi. I turn quickly in the chilly air and make my way back down the street to Harry’s drive, punching in the familiar code at his gate before running up to the door hastily. 

It was open - as always, so I let myself in. He was probably still cleaning the lounge up after we all got a little too tipsy. 

“Hey it’s me...just left my book sorry!” I call down the hallway. It’s quiet despite the light Paul Simon playing in the distance so I make my way quickly to the sofas I’d spent most of the night on, praying to avoid an awkward run-in with Harry. 

Although we’d actually shared some light conversation throughout the night and a handful of smiles, I’m not sure we’re quite at the stage in our friendship that me more or less breaking into his house wouldn’t be awkward to run into. 

The lounge is empty when I get there. The side tables are still littered with wine glasses and tacky red rings on coasters but no Harry in sight. Or book for that matter. 

I start pulling back the cushions carefully - god knows how much they cost. Despite scouring the one spot I’d pretty much clung to the whole night -  incidentally beside Harry -  I have no luck. Nick tossed the book back to me at some point in the night after reading it by my recommendation but knowing him it could have ended up anyway. I follow the breadcrumbs of our night down another hallway as I vaguely remember Nick talking about a certain plot twist as we searched Harry’s kitchen cupboards for the wine he’d sent us off to restock. 

As I come around the white archway into his kitchen I catch a glimpse of him from around the kitchen island. He has his back turned to me but he’s leant forwards against a counter with ring covered fingers clutching the edge, a glass of amber liquid set slightly away from him. 

“Oh, sorry I was just-” He jumps a little at my voice, turning quickly to face me with his now free hands coming up to hold his chest. When his eyes finally meet mine they’re red and it takes a second for him to register the tears still streaming from them before he replies. 

“Shit, fu- what are you..are you alright?” His hands bat between tangling into his hair and wiping the tears from his cheeks, anything to avoid actually looking up at me again. 

“Yeah, I just..um..left my book,” I mumble, taking a step closer to him when I notice how his hands shake as they move timidly around his face. “Harry, what’s wrong?”

“Uuuh um.” He wanders for a moment before slapping a palm lightly atop the counter and pulling out his infamous grin. “Nothing much, how bout you - find your book?” 

“-Harry..” I take another step close, “I know we’re not, ya know..close. But you can talk to me.” 

There’s a beat of silence when he keeps up the act, I’d almost believe it if it wasn’t for his bloodshot eyes and anxious fingers drumming against the tile. 

“What’s wrong?” 

He pauses for a moment, assessing whether or not to tell me whatever’s weighing so heavy on his shoulders. But the dam bursts. 

“Fuckin’ everything Love” He laughs, rubbing his palms over his face. I try to focus on the matter at hand: Harry weeping in his kitchen. But that name’s only ever left his mouth directed at me a handful of times and it’s never made my stomach flutter quite as it did just now. “Just..Fuck I’m so lonely Olivia.” 

I don’t really know any of the details but between conversation - mostly overheard, and the media frenzy, it was hard not to be aware of Harry’s break up two months ago. I can’t claim we were close enough to discuss it, having hardly ever talked beyond trivial issues, but I knew that despite them only being together two or so months, he’d been incredibly distant for the weeks that followed the break up. 

“I hear about you and Aubre..I’m really sorry it didn’t work out for you guys-” Harry laughs almost, a pained sort of chuckle that told me I was way off with this one. 

“It’s not..that isn’t why I..” He takes a deep breath before lifting his head up slightly to focus on where his fingers still tapped out a nervous beat on the counter. “I was lonely before her...and with her. I just, I can’t seem to get it right ever...feels like nobody wants to be with me for the right reasons.” 

“Hey no..what about tonight? Your house was full of so many people who love you yeah? Maybe your bougie wine collection had something to do with it but still,” He laughs at that, peeking up from behind his fringe for just a moment. “They- we love you ‘k?” 

“I know but, ‘clock hits the am and everyone leaves, it just gets...it gets so fucking lonely to see everyone in perfect pairs ya know?” 

I don’t really know what I’m doing but I’m doing it - my arms wrap over his shoulders and lock with a hand at the nape of his neck. We’ve never hugged before beyond a general greeting but anyone watching wouldn’t know it, his face burrows quickly into my shoulder and his arms cocoon over my waist, holding me tightly and slipping under the thick layers of my jacket. 

“I know exactly what you mean, H.” 

The hug lasts longer than I imagined it might. He smells of vanilla and the coffee he brought back in bulk from Jamaica. He lets out a shaky breath and melts further into me, nuzzling my neck softly with the tip of his nose. His curls are soft between my fingers and I find myself shhing him, lulling us both into a tired kind of calm. 

Another moment passes in the silence of his kitchen before Harry lets out an awkward cough and straightens up, pulling out of our hold and immediately covering his face with his palms again. 

“I..sorry Jules and Theo must be waiting for you..” Harry murmured, wiping the last of his tears away and letting his hands fall and fidget by his sides. 

“Oh no don’t worry they..um they already went I was actually just gonna walk.” I tell him, making his head perk up a bit. 

“Wha-It’s past twelve Liv it’s not safe, how far do you even live?” He clears his throat and his voice is clearer now, it feels like a whole different world to the one we were in just a minute ago. 

“It’s fine honestly, only take like thirty minutes walking - I’ve done it before-” I ramble, eager to put this situation behind me before I embarrass myself anymore. 

“No - let me drive you yeah?” Harry shakes his head, adamant. 

“Harry..we’ve been drinking all night, I think that’s more dangerous than me jus’ walking.” I laugh, holding his gaze for a second longer than I usually would - fuck, how do we usually act around each other?

Before I come to a conclusion, his eyes rest heavy on mine and I can see the cogs turning in his brain as he tries to work his way out of this one. Ever the people pleaser. 

“Then stay.” 

“Harry-”

“You said you know how it feels.” He cuts in, unwavering now as he doesn’t let my eyes fall from his. “So stay …’s safer anyway.” 

. . . . . 

“I can take the sofa, really Harry I don’t mind,” I reassure as he tosses me an old t-shirt and joggers to sleep in. “It’s comfier than my bed anyway. 

His guest bedrooms had just been painted and were still pretty fume filled so the sofa or his bed were the only options. For twenty minutes now he’s tried to convince me to take his bed and leave him on the sofa, despite the fact we both know he’s a little too tall to sleep without his feet hanging off the end. 

“But you’re my guest!” He protests again, coming up from his wardrobe to stand in front of me, hand on hips and an expression of concern on his face. 

“And you’re almost six foot!” 

“Hey, I am six foot.” He takes a deep breathe, exhaling through his nose in defeat before speaking again. “Okay, you can sleep on the sofa but if anyone asks I was the perfect host and you bullied me into this.” 

I laugh softly, this whole new side of Harry had never been directed solely at me before and it was honestly refreshing. Usually Nick or another friend was the target of his jokes and playful demeanor and I only noticed it from afar but now he was right in front of me, hauling pillows off his bed and sticking his tongue out when he caught me staring. 

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” He asks for the third time since I agreed to stay the night. We’ve just finished setting up the sofa to sleep on and despite the duvet and many quilts far more lush than my own actual bed, he seemed unconvinced it was enough. 

“I’m sure” I sit back into the pile of blankets and pillows, tucking my feet underneath me and looking back up at Harry. “If you’re really not, just come watch a film with me and see how cozy it is.” 

The quick change in dynamic was a lot smoother than I’d imagined. Within an hour of being alone together we’d already talked more than in all our past interactions, not to mention how close we’ve gotten. He only nods his head quickly and he’s settling under a quilt beside me, rummaging around for a controller to pull up netflix again. 

“Mamma Mia two?” He asks. 

I chuckle a bit and nod. At the beginning of the evening I hadn’t quite seen it ending in a Mamma Mia marathon with just me and Harry. 

He presses play and as the opening display begins we both lean back into the sofa and pull the blankets up over us. It’s only in the quiet of the first few scenes that I notice we’re matching. We’re both dressed fully in his clothes, grey joggers and t-shirt - his rolling stones, mine fleetwood mac. And it all smells of him. I pull the blanket a little higher over my chest and the faint, but now familiar, scent of vanilla and coffee fills my lungs and for a second all I can focus on is how desperately I want to be in his arms again. 

. . . . .

“-ow” A groggy voice mumbles from above me and I feel myself being pulled forwards slightly against something hard - and warm. 

I’m a few seconds from falling straight back asleep before I feel the painful ache in the side of my neck. I reach a hand up to gauge my current situation and feel my fingers plunging into soft hair - soft hair that ends too soon to be mine. 

“Hi..” I recoil my hand quickly back to my side and push myself up so I’m sitting slightly. I look down and see Harry, half asleep still and hand still resting on my side. 

“Oh-hey sorry,” What do you say when you wake up beside the guy you barely knew but simultaneously had been incredibly vulnerable with just the night before? 

Harry seems to be waking up now and certainly more aware of our predicament as he pulls his hand away from where it was holding firmly onto the material of my - his - t-shirt and pushes himself up to sit against the arm of the sofa. 

“We must have fallen asleep..sorry I didn’t mean too, ya know…” His eyes flutter between where I sit opposite him and the “Are you still watching?” Netflix screen. 

“It’s fine, accidents happen an’ everything.” I smile, slipping out from the warm cocoon of blankets to stand. “I’m just gonna wash up quickly and I’ll be out of you hair.” 

Before I can rush off to tame my hair and hopefully find some toothpaste to rid me of my morning breath, Harry clasps his hand gently around my wrist and tugs slightly to get my attention. 

“Not in a rush Love, I’ll make us some breakfast.” He says it effortlessly, like it was a regular occurrence for us to fall asleep cuddling on his sofa. He stands, groaning as his knees pop appreciatively and lets my hand go before he’s disappearing into the kitchen.

“Okay…” I murmur to myself. “....okay.” 

. . . . .  

Alice is back at my table with my second refill before 11am. I thank her and take a gulp of the fiery ginger tea before reading over the last three paragraphs I just wrote. The spice licks my tongue as I tip the cup up for a second sip; it’s autumn after all. 

In the last two weeks September had slipped into October and all the trees in London had received the memo. I’d been busy, hoaled up in the quietest corner of Blondies the whole time with coffee filling all my senses. I haven’t seen everyone together since that night at Harry’s. I grabbed lunch with Eleanor the Monday afterwards and told her nothing, preferring to avoid the texts my phone amassed over the fortnight. I've turned down all proposed group activities and focused on work instead. To be fair, I do have a lot to get done. There were always seasonal pieces in my to do list and with the weather getting colder it was time I got to them before it was Christmas already. 

I haven’t talked to Harry either. He made us pancakes with blueberries and maple syrup in the morning and we haven’t even texted since; I’m not sure that we even have a private text between us. Eleanor and Julia have told me how much fun they’ve all had the times I’ve politely but persistently declined, I can only assume Harry’s in the mix with them all. He’s in town for awhile if I’m remembering our breakfast chatter correctly, it makes sense that they’re all hanging out together really when they don’t often get time together. Ellie’s phone calls keep me from sliding into thoughts of how easily I could fall right out of the group and not be missed, at least. I was just taking space for work. The fact that most of my afternoons at the cafe disappeared into me analysing anything I might ever have felt or said to Harry means nothing at all. 

Neither does the heightened pace of my heartbeat when he walks through the stiff wooden  doors of Blondies. 

He orders what I assume is his regular black coffee, scans the room for a second and lands directly on me. He hesitates a little to hold my gaze, turning his head to look outside before looking back at me and smiling. He thanks the server and takes a few quick steps towards me, weaving in between the packed tables to my little spot hidden away in the corner. 

“Hi,” He smiles again, although his toneos overshadowed by a slight anxious hilt. “Can I sit?” 

Nodding, I close my laptop and pull my tea closer to me to make a space for him. 

“Hi.” He repeats, smiling a little sheepishly. 

“Hi,” I wait a second, nervous to start when I’m so unsure of how this conversation has already gone in his head. But he doesn’t say anything so I push through and bite the bullet against my better judgement. “Look, about that Friday I-”

“Can I just-” He cuts me off, leaning forwards and opening his hands out as he mulls over his next few words. “I’m sorry if it was awkward at all, I didn’t mean for anything to happen and I thought we were fine an’ everything but then I haven’t seen you in two weeks and Ellie keeps saying you’re not comin’ out. Did I do something wrong?” 

“Oh god no,” I hurry, “You didn’t do anything it was just - I didn’t expect to wake up..like that...and it was just a really quick change because we’ve never really been close and suddenly it was just, us, like that.” 

He nods, pushing a loose curl back a second later that broke free in the motion. He seems understanding as he looks down before leaning his elbows against the table so only the two of us can hear what he’s about to say. 

“I know, I didn’t expect it either but, can I just tell you I’m glad that it happened?” He leaves a three second pause for me to flounder in confusion before continuing. “What I told you, ‘bout feeling lonely, it messes with my sleep all the time. I just get stuck in my own thoughts but the night you stayed over I slept fine - perfect even.”

Not sure what else to do with this new information, I nod for him to continue.

“I know we’ve never been close, but hanging out with you just really calmed me down.” He smiles, gaining confidence now in his vulnerability tucked away in our little hiding place. “Thank you for staying.” 

“I get what you mean.” I mumble, slightly anxious any of the busy customers with prying eyes could overhear my confession. “I never really know when to stop working and I think I got the best night sleep on your sofa I’ve had in awhile, which really speaks volumes about how crappy my mattress is.”  

He chuckles. Relief seems to settle in as he lets his shoulders relax and face soften. 

“I was thinking - especially now that I know it was good for you as well, maybe it could become more of a regular thing?” He asks, his forefinger and thumb pinch together and twist one of his rings a little - a nervous habit, I’m sure. 

“How do you mean?” 

“Like..when we all go out, maybe we go home together, you know - so we can sleep better.” He moves down to focus on the metal rose he’s still fumbling at. “If..if you don’t want to or you think it’d be weird it’s fi-” 

“I’d like that.” I reach forwards to comfort him, absentmindedly cupping my fingers around his. “I think it’d be nice, to get a good night's sleep I mean.” 

“I’m glad.” He beams.

“..That and you make a mean blueberry pancake.” I tease, earning a light chuckle from Harry. 

Just like our last cafe encounter, the ping of a his phone beats me to my new few words. He checks it quickly, shaking his head and glancing down the large room to the shop front where, once again, Jeff waits. He seems a little more agitated this time, waving vigorously whilst trying not to attract the attention of passersby, all  rather unsuccessfully. 

“Bollocks okay - I’ve gotta go,” Harry swears, collecting his coffee from the table and pushing his chair back quickly. “I’ll just - we can text before we go out next yeah?” 

“Cool, yeah - wait a sec, let me just give you my number.” I reach up for him to hand me his phone but he doesn’t make any effort to move, instead he blushes slightly and stares at the floor. “..What?” 

“I um, I already have it.” He fiddles with the hair at the nape of his neck before talking again. It’s hard not to remember how it felt when it was my fingers carding through his brown curls. “I got it from Theo awhile back when we were going to this thing, felt weird not having it. I hope that..okay and everythin’” 

I nod, smiling up at him. The idea of him having a part of me for this past year without me even knowing is oddly precious. The fact that he felt odd about not having my number and going to the effort of getting it from Theo was unbelievably endearing. 

“That’s fine, helpful actually.” I smile still, “Text me before we meet everyone and we’ll make a plan or somethin’” 

“Okay,” He smirks, his slight cocky nature reemerging. “Will do, Liv. See you soon?” 

“See you soon.” 

Jeff flies a hand up to his hair like before but this time is met with a grinning Harry who doesn’t seem to mind so much. 

. . . . . 

Unknown Number 

‘Hey! Is tonight good? We can slip off after drinks at the gallery. H x’ 

I look down at my phone. Caught off guard by the sudden text, I’d almost forgotten out arrangement. Julia invited us all to a gallery opening of one of her friend's new exhibits. Even as I flicked through my wardrobe for the right jacket, I hadn’t put two and two together and realised I’d be seeing Harry again for the first time since our chat at Blondies four days ago. 

I save his number and I think quickly, not wanting to leave him on read when he knew I’d be leaving to see them all any second and most likely spend the whole tube journey on my phone. 

‘Hi :) That’d work for me yh, just let me know when you want to leave and I’ll make an excuse. Liv x’ 

With another thought rushing through my head, I send a quick follow up. 

Me

‘Can we keep this between us right now? Might be a bit tricky to explain to the others.” 

Harry

‘Read my mind love.’

‘See you in a bit :)’ 

I’m still not the hugest fan of the airy feeling that rushed through my stomach as I read over the pet name. He was just from Manchester, it was normal up there to call everything by casually affectionate little names. It didn’t mean anything at all. 

. . . . . 

“Livia!” Nick calls out when he sees me scanning over the faces at the entrance to the gallery. I smile instantly and make my way over, quickly falling into his arms as he rocks us for a second. “Haven’t seen you in an age!” 

“‘Ve been working, we can’t all piss about Monday to Friday.” I giggle, smiling wide as he murmurs something under his breath and plants a big kiss on my cheek. “Is everyone here?” 

I try not to look suspicious when I peak over around us, trying to pick a certain brunette from the crowd.

“Yeah, they’re just over there with Julia’s friend.” Nick points and I see him immediately. He’s dressed just as I expected - half gucci half grandpa sweaters. “I’m gonna get us drinks, meet you there?” 

“Mhmmm” I hum, breaking out of his hold and slipping through the crowds to our small group of friends. 

“Hi!” Julia smiles brightly. She hugs me quickly before stepping aside to give Eleanor and Theo their turns. They all whisper quiet ‘Missed yous’ in my ear as if I’ve been gone for years. 

“Hey,” Harry appears by my side as everyone else turns their attention to the front of the crowd where it looks like the artist is setting up to introduce the night. “How’ve you been?” 

“In the last four days?” I chuckle, “Good. Not been sleeping great, but I’ve got a lot of work done so that’s been great.” 

He nods approvingly. A smile tugs at his lips at the mention of sleep, almost like some secret inside joke we’ve managed to form between just the two of us. 

“Me neither. Jeff’s been buggin’ me what feels like every hour with deadlines.” I find myself squeezing his hand a little under his long coat sleeves so nobody can see. “Looking forward to just collapsing tonight, if I’m honest.” 

“Me too.” I smile tiredly, tonight had been a big ask come to think of it. I've had work piled up twice my height all week and even having worked day in and day out I’ve still only made a crack in the mountain of final edits and emails to respond to.

Harry squeezes my fingers back and our hands linger in each other's hold until Nick emerges beside us and the artist begins her speech. 

. . . . .

 The comfortable chatter surrounding the booth we’d taken up a few hours ago died down as the clock ticked later and later. We’d left the gallery a while ago now in favour of the after party at a pub down the road but by now the heavy scent of beers and various gin based concoctions were giving us all headaches. 

“I think I’m gonna call it a night guys,” Harry announces, a slew of groans following from the group. “Sorry, sorry! It’s been great but it’s getting late.” 

Julia and Theo move out the way to let him out the booth. He slides across the red cushion to stand, pulling his coat over himself as he sneaks a quick look at me. 

“I think I’m gonna head off too,” I smile, waiting for Eleanour to stand and let me out as another wave of complaints flooded me. “Sorry! I’ve got work and the tube’ll be hell any later.” 

“Well if Harry’s going too couldn’t he take you home?” Julia suggests, looking between the two of us as we now stand slightly away from each other. “You drove right?” 

“Yeah, I did.” Harry turns to smile at me, amused clearly by how our plan was being unknowingly encouraged by our friends. “C’mon, I’ll drive yeh.” 

I nod, biting back a smirk. We say our goodbyes and wave as we slip out the heavy pub doors out onto the road outside. It’s started to drizzle slightly and I resent choosing the jacket without a hood. 

“I’m just over here,” Harry points a little ways off. “Hurry, think it’s about to pour.” 

We walk quickly down the street and through a metal gate into a car park when there’s a loud rumble of thunder and immediately the rain thickens. 

“Fuck!” Harry laughs as he scrambles for his keys, we match each other's paces until we’re practically sprinting to his car in the far corner of the lot. The click of the locks sounds out and his lights flash red a second before we’re both pulling the doors open and throwing ourselves inside onto warm seats. 

We catch our breath, chests rising and falling with uneven pants before our laughter settles and Harry slots the keys into the ignition. 

. . . . . 

“Do you want anything to eat?” Harry asks as he closes his front door behind us and we kick out shoes off in his hall. “I think I have some takeout menus somewhere..” 

“I’m not really hungry, thanks though,” I cut off his search as he walks through to his kitchen and starts opening draws. “Kinda just wanna go to bed now.” 

He nods and rubs a hand under his eye in silent agreement of my exhaustion.

“I’ll make us a tea, meet you up there yeah?” He calls over his shoulder, having turned quickly to retrieve various packets from his cupboards. “Chamomile okay?” 

“Yeah chamomiles good,” I hover for a second in the archway leading into the kitchen, suddenly awkward to be alone in his house again. “Where um..where is it?” 

He looks over his shoulder at me, slightly confused. His eye brows unfurrow when I motion behind me. 

“Oh- just up the stairs and third room down the hall..on the left.” He smiles, turning back to the cupboard to look through his extensive mug collection. 

I nod to myself, spinning on my heel and making my way up his stairs. I’ve never gone beyond the downstairs of his house before and even then I stuck to the kitchen, dining room and lounge. It felt odd to suddenly have access to something as intimate as his bedroom, I try not to overthink things as I push open the third door I see.

The first thing I see is his large bed, there’s probably enough room for three people on it and there’s definitely enough pillows to go around. The room as a whole is tidy, whether it’s always like that or only organised so precisely for my visit, I don’t know, but the thought makes my stomach flutter. 

I walk up to the side of the bed with no charger on it’s table and set my bag down. We hadn’t talked about the logistics of our...arrangement, but I’d brought the basics to last me through the night. I plug my charger into the wall and take out my wash bag and a set of clothes to sleep in before sliding my bag under the table. I look around for a second. Somehow I hadn’t really thought through the fact that by the end of the night, I’d be in Harry’s bed. With Harry. In a completely platonic way with the only function to soothe our mutually crappy sleeping habits. 

I hear Harry walking up the stairs just as I slip into the un suit to wash up and get changed. He’s humming a song under his breath. The clink of mugs being set down is followed by wardrobe doors opening and closing and a light thud of clothes being thrown on the bed. 

I wait a few minutes to make sure I don’t walk in on him changing. Opening the door tentatively, I step out into the room in a large sweater and pajama shorts. Harry turns to look at me, he’s in the same t-shirt he wore last time and a pair of boxer shorts and the whole situation suddenly seems so amusing. After just one night of falling asleep on the sofa together, not having ever talked before, here we are standing at our most vulnerable about to cuddle in his bed together.

“Hi.” 

“Hey,” He nods, looking down at himself. “Hope this is okay...I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or-” 

“It’s fine,” I reassure him, “I didn’t really know what to wear either.” 

His eyes flicker down my body and he smiles back up at me. He motions to the bed and we both nod a little awkwardly before making our way over to our sides. I climb in and instantly let a small groan out as my body sinks into the mattress, the pillows and duvet feel almost like a cloud as I burrow under and pull my tea up to my lips. 

Harry chuckles from beside me, I peak over the mug to seem him grinning down from where he sits slightly taller in the bed.

“Sorry, you look comfy.” He laughs a little, 

“I am, your bed’s insane.” I set my mug down and turn to him, bouncing slightly to emphasise the quality of his mattress that probably cost more than a year of my rent. “I really should start earning millions, feel like it’d suit me.” 

He returns his tea to the bedside table and copies me, turning to face me with his legs crossed. 

“It definitely would.” He smiles, bouncing a little before I let out a yawn. “Tired?” 

“Exhausted.” I mumble, hand still covering half my face. Harry reaches behind him to turn to switch the lights above his headboard off before pulling the duvet back for us to slip under.

“C’mere,” Without hesitating, I shuffle back slightly until I can feel his chest behind me and an arm come up to rest around my hip. “‘This okay?” 

“Mhmmm,” I hum, “What about our teeth?”

“We’ll brush ‘em in the morning,” I nod, groaning again as all the aches in my body subside as I sink into his arms and the foam mattress. “You okay?” 

“Yeah,” I mumble, embarrassed to have let myself go so easily around him. “Your mattress is just unbelievable. Might have to make this a regular thing.” 

I speak before I think, mind clouded with sleep and my eyes already fighting to stay open. 

“That’s the plan, love.” 

. . . . . 

When I wake up, Harry’s arms are tight around my middle and his body’s like a furnace behind me. I vaguely recall pulling my sweater off in the night to cool down as I lay now only in a vest and shorts. I slept better than I have in months though, despite the warm breaths on my neck turning my cheeks flushed. 

The mix of Harry’s company and his safe haven of a mattress made for the perfect night sleep. I push back slightly into his chest and feel his arms tighten around me and a low murmur of his voice in my ear. The clock on my bedside table reads 6:30. It’s a Saturday and I can quite easily imagine spending the rest of my day - weekend even, exactly like this. 

I slip back to sleep for a little awhile before I’m woken up to a low groan behind me. Harry shifts slightly, burying his face in the base of my neck and squeezing around my waist again. He must still be half asleep to be this comfortable with me. 

I’m proven right when it takes another fifteen minutes for him to poke his head up over my shoulder and mumble: 

“Breakfast?” 

. . . . . 

Our routine works smoothly for weeks. After sleeping so well the first few times, it became a given that we’d pile into Harry’s car after every night out with our friends and go back to his. Sometimes we’d get takeout or watch a film, but it wasn’t so rare that we’d just stumble out of his car, or a taxi - depending what the night had entailed, and walk with eyes almost closed straight to bed. 

I stopped bringing things every night about two weeks in when a new toothbrush appeared next to Harrys and an oversized t-shirt of Harrys found its way onto my side of the bed. We also ditched the awkward pleasantries. Spending two or three nights a week in his house, I’d become pretty familiar with it all. I sometimes brought us breakfast if it was a weekend, or left a coffee beside the bed for him if I left for work first, We had very easily slipped into an oddly familiar sense of domesticity. It was strange to never mention any of it to our friends, it made it special though. We helped each other, and it was all just between the two of us. Nobody else knew Harry taught me how to make coffee just the way he likes it, or that we share his lavender shampoo sometimes. 

“Ols?” Harry calls up the stairs to me. We’re running late to Julia and Theos anniversary dinner. 

“Coming!” I yell back, reaching into his wardrobe to snatch a jacket before running down the stares. 

“Oi! Slow down love, you’re gonna fall,” He complains, holding his hands out at the bottom of the stairs to catch me as I skid a little on the wooden floors of his hallway. “Hey! This’s mine!” 

He tugs playfully on the opening of his jacket. I pull the fabric from his grasp and smile up at him. 

“Not anymore…” He scrunches his nose up and pulls me towards him. The sudden movement pushed the air from my lungs suddenly. “-Fine! Just for tonight...nobody’ll notice anyway, you only just got his one.” 

He shakes his head, bringing his fingers up to tickles across my stomach quickly before letting me go and clapping his hands. 

“Shoes now!” He points down at my sock clad feet, “Come on we’re late already.” 

I sling my bag over my shoulder and slip my boots on before trailing after him to the front door. He’s pulled his large green coat off the hangar before he’s looking back down at me, brows pulled together in confusion. 

“What’ve got yeh bag for?” 

“Ah see Harry, I tend not to leave my stuff places I don’t actually live.” I laugh.

“You’re not coming back tonight?” The confusion’s not joined by a hint of sadness as his hands fall from the door knob and he turns to face front on. 

“Oh I..hadn’t thought ‘bout that. I’ve gotta water my plants.” I haven't been home in two days, I spent the whole day at Blondies yesterday then headed to Harry's after a few drinks with him and Nick. We’ve hung out around his house all day, sleeping in and finishing our last few bits of work for the week. “I can let them go a little dry I guess-” 

“Can I come to yours?” Harry cuts me off to ask. “It’s just, I haven’t ever seen it..and that way your plant’ll be fine.” 

I stay quiet for a second. Our world of sleepovers and movie marathons and home made curries for dinner existed within his house. My flat was small in comparisons to the homes of our friends, who were all, delicately put, pretty well off. Not that I wasn’t, I’d just gone into a lower paying area of my industry. I lived alone anyway so there wasn’t much point paying thousands in rent when I didn’t need much space. 

“It’s fine it you want a night to yourself I can just-” 

“It’s not that, H, I just didn't really think about how we only ever come here.” I mumble the last part, “Come back to mine, I don’t feel like going back on my own anyways.” 

I smile a little, unsure of where we stand on the whole admitting we’d grown pretty dependent on each other’s presence, front. He smiles back, twisting the door open and holding it for me as I slip under his arm. 

The car clicks unlocked and I settle into my seat. I reach over to push my seat belt in as Harry pulls his door shut and the car rumbles to a start. 

“Can’t believe Jules and T have been together so long.” He sighs as we pull out onto the main road. 

“Tell me about it,” I gaze out the window as rain dribbles lightly. “Feels like the year just went straight by.”

“They seem so happy still, like they’re still honeymooning,” Harry hums. 

“I remember when they just started going out in Uni, even then it was obvious they’d end up together.” 

“I like those kinds of people. The ones who make each other just completely themselves, ya know?” He glances over at me before turning back to the road. 

“Yeah...they’re proper soulmates aren’t they.” 

. . . . . 

“Okay but seriously, what the fuck is up with you and Harry?” Eleanor bursts out as soon as we reach the bar. We’ve been sent off to get the third round whilst the others stayed at our favourite booth of the pub we frequented. 

“Wait what?” I yell over the loud chatter of the pub, “What do you mean?” 

“You know what I mean!” She’s still waving her hand out for the bartender when she glances down at me again. “You’re tryna say you’re suddenly so close and nothing’s happened between you?” 

“We’re not that close.” I quip, “We’ve just talked a bit more lately, I guess.”

“And nothing’s happened?”  She raised a brow at me suspiciously. “You guys have left together every night for the past few weeks, just admit you have feelings for each other.” 

“No, nothing’s happened.” I sigh, unsure if I sound convincing or not. “We just live close and it’s too cold now to get the tube back so late, he’s just being nice. You know Harry...he’s like that with everyone.” 

Eleanor laughs a little, shaking her head. She places our order with the bartender when he makes his way to our side of the bar before turning back to me with her arms crossed. 

“He’s nice to everyone, but he’s not just being nice to you.” She smirks, “And he usually doesn't give just anybody his clothes.” 

She reaches out and rubs the fabric of my - Harrys - jacket between her thumb and forefinger. She looks up and quirks her brows up a little again. Before I can splutter out an explanation our drinks are being laid out on the counter beside us and Eleanor is pointing to the ones for me to carry and turning back to our booth. 

A surge of anxiety washes over me as I follow Eleanor back to the group. My breaths feel unsteady and I can’t help but dart my eyes to get a quick glance at Harry to see if he’s experiencing the same kind of interrogation. He seems fine though, laughing at something Nicks said. 

Soon we’re at the booth, slipping back into our seats and setting the drinks out in front of everyone. Harry’s eyes hover on me for a few seconds, brows raised a little in question. I smile and shake my head - everything’s fine. 

I don’t miss how Eleanor glances between us throughout the whole night. Especially not when a different two get up for the next round and Harry and I are pushed next to each other when they climb back into the available seats. Harry seems a little suspicious too. He clearly hasn’t noticed Eleanor’s strange behaviour - or doesn’t care - because he’s kept gazing down at me every now and then since we came back with drinks hours ago. When I stop looking up at him, nervous Eleanor might question me about his constant and slightly nervous glances when we’re alone, he reaches his hand under the tables and pulls mine into his lap. He squeezes our hands every now and then. He’s always a touchy, cuddly drunk. Normally it’s a bit more obvious; he’ll wrap his arms around one of us on the dance floor or lap his head on a shoulder, nothing too intimate. Just friendly. But now he’s stroking his thumb over my knuckles and tapping out the beat of the current song playing with his foot, his knee bumping mine. 

Julia and Theo are the first to go. Relief settles in me at the idea of not being the first two to leave for once. There’s no way Eleanor wouldn't’ve have noticed me and Harry sneaking the other a glance like we usually do to signal we’re ready to go, without some kind of distraction. 

“It was so lovely guys, feels like we haven’t just sat down and talked in so long!” Julia smiles, leaning into Theos side tiredly as they say their goodbyes. 

“I think I’m gonna head off too, it’s getting pretty late,” I smile, waiting for Harry to speak when Theo pipes up before him. 

“Livs, you want a lift?” Theo looks down at me. 

“Oh Olivia, that’s a good idea, you were just saying how it’s too cold for the tube.” Eleanor beams, smiling cheekily as she knows I’m the only one who’ll understand her subtle teasing. 

“Oh I-” I stutter before Harry’s squeezing my hand again and looks up at Theo. 

“I was actually gonna take her home, we’re only 10 minutes apart so it’s just easier.” He smiles politely, if I couldn’t feel his foot hooking over mine I’d believe he was just being nice and helping out a friend. 

“Yeah but you’re gonna stay a little while aren’t you?” Julia countered, “We’re pretty close, it’s fine really.” 

I nod, motioning to slide out of the booth. Harry lets me by, dropping my hand before anyone else could see. Julia, Theo and I say goodbye quickly and head out to the car park. As soon as we’re all strapped into their car, I pull out my phone and click Harry’s contact. 

Me 

Meet me at mine x

Harry 

Okay - what was that about? 

Me 

I’ll explain when u get here, just something w Eleanor

U might have been right about the jacket :/ 

Theo pulls up outside my flat and I jump out the car, thanking them quickly and waving them off. I climb the stairs of my building and click the keys in my door, pushing it open and kicking my shoes off the second I get in. After a fifteen minute frantic clean, the place is looking slightly better. There’s no time to perfect it as I hear my phone buzzing on the counter, a dorky photo of Harry in one of his infamous sweaters all sprawled out on the sofa and sticking his tongue out at me flashes the screen. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, I’m just outside,” He talks softly, “What number are you?” 

“24, wait a sec and I’ll buzz you up.” 

I tread quickly to the button by my front door and let him up, hearing a quiet thanks over the phone and a “See you in a sec”  before the line goes dead. 

A minute later there’s a quiet knock at my door. I open it and see Harry, he looks a little more tired than when I left him forty minutes ago, he rubs his knuckles under his eyes and sighs softly. 

“Hey, come in.” I pull the door a little wider, stepping aside to let him inside. He walks past me, eyes watching the floor whilst I lock the up behind us and turn to face him. There's an awkward tension in the air that I haven’t experienced with Harry before, maybe a little that first night when I walked in on him in his kitchen, but nothing like this since we’ve gotten closer.  

“What happened?” He asks quietly, lifting his head with an uncertain look on his face.”You barely even looked at me. 

“I..” I stumble over what to say, I’ve been thinking I could just explain what Eleanor had said and have it done with but now I know we’re not going to be able to just leave this. If somebody’s going to find out about our arrangement then something would have to change. “Ellie thinks there’s something going on with us and she kept staring all night. I just, I couldn’t give her anything to be suspicious about.” 

“S’that what you mean about the jacket?” I nod, “What did she say?” 

“Just that we seemed closer, talk more I guess.” I sigh, “She didn’t believe anything I said.” 

“What did you say?” He presses. His tone is unclear, he seems less hurt now and more focussed on getting answers from me. 

“I just, I told her nothing’s happened.” I mumble, “She asked about us leaving together and I told her it was just because we lived close and it’s easier than the tube.” 

Harry bobs his head a little, taking in what I’ve just told him before laughing a little. He shakes his head and brings his palms up to his face, cursing under his breath. We stand in the quiet of my hallway before he speaks up again.

“Can we still do this?” That catches me off guard. Of course I knew we’d have to stop sometime when one of us started dating or a friend found out, I just hadn’t thought seriously about it happening anytime soon. “If she does find out, would that be the worst thing in the world?”

I shake my head, taking a step towards him to close the gap between us that’d been building my nerves throughout this whole exchange. 

“I don’t wanna stop hanging out.” I confess. Harry quirks his lips up a little, obviously relieved as he pulls me to his chest. He wraps his arms around my shoulders and rests his chin on my head as we breathe together for a moment. All the while we’ve been spending nights at his, there’s been no serious moments like this. We’ve opened up about vulnerable subjects and confessed more than we probably should have to each other, but never anything like this. There’d never been a  time I thought I could lose him. 

“What if something did happen.” He whispers into my hair. 

“Like what?” I murmur, voice a little muffled by his jacket. 

“Like..” He trails off a little and I’m pretty sure I hear him inhale a little and smell my hair. “Like what if I kissed you..or something.” 

“Or something?” My chest tightens, stomach fluttering suddenly. 

“Mmhhhmm,” He hums, “What would happen then?” 

“Eleanor would have a field day.” 

Harry laughs, shoulders shaking a little as he giggles above me. He loosens his grip on my and pushes away to create a little space to see me again. 

“Oh yeah?” He teases. 

“Uh huh,” I smile, “She’d never let us forget it if she knew she was right.” 

“And what would she be right about?” Harry lifts his hand to cup my face, tilting it slightly to make sure I’m staring right up at him. 

“..Something..happening.” I whisper, “Having feelings for eachother.” 

Harry grins, cheeks a soft rosy between the outside cold and the new blush. He strokes the pad of his thumb against my cheek and beams down at me. 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Uh huh…” 

“Really..she’d be right about that?” 

“I’m pretty sure-” 

Before I can tease anymore, Harry’s leaning down to press his lips against mine. I inhale sharply, closing my eyes and looping my arms around the back of his neck to hold us in place. His hand still holds my face firmly, thumb fluttering over my cheek a couple times before he pulls away and we both breathe in deep. 

“She’s definitely right.” He smiles, tone turning serious for a moment. “I really like you Olivia.” 

Butterflies surge through my stomach for the millionth time since he walked through my door. Blushing and happy, I tighten my arms and push my face back into his shoulder. 

“I like you too H….just a little bit.” 

“We don’t have to tell anyone, just want this to be ours for a little while.” I can hear the smile in his voice as he leans back down to whisper into my ear. 

“I want this to be ours forever.” I hum, words quiet and part of me hoping he doesn't hear my honest confession. 

A comforting quiet settles over us. I remember how tired I really am as I melt further into Harry’s body, breathing in the sweet cinnamon and vanilla scent. His breathing lulls me half to sleep as I let my eyes flutter shut and bury my head further into his neck. I feel him lifting me up as my body relaxes against his and I catch his last few words before I he’s shifting me into his arms and walking us up the stairs. 

“I could hold you ‘n listen to your voice all night long, love.” 

. . . . .    

“Oh my god!” Julia yells out, unravelling a long shawl from pristine white tissue paper. “Okay whoever got me, thank you so much!” 

She continues to squeal a little as he wraps it over her shoulders and presses the end to her nose, inhaling the lavender scent of her favourite designer brand. 

I’d only spent one Christmas with the whole group before but it was clear secret Santa was a bit of a tradition. Between the six of us we all had other friends, family and mostly, relationships. Organising a secret santa within our group just relieved some of the stress of present buying - and it was fun. 

We’re all sitting around Harry’s living room, it felt the homiest  to us after all. The kiddy advent calendar I bought for him hung by the fireplace reading December 21st. We’ve all finished our egg nogs, meaning it was officially present time. Over the next few days we’ll all be driving up and down the country to visit family, meaning today’s the last day most of us will be seeing each other. Harry had whined about me leaving, begging me to stay another day with him or better yet - spend christmas with his family up north. 

It was when I told him my own parents were spending the holidays visiting my sister and her kids in New York that his campaign started. We kissed almost three months ago now and have been on a slew of dates since. Between all the secret dinners out, brunches and farmers market trips, we haven’t found time for the talk. We had no official title. I’ve heard Harry refer to me as “m’girl” a couple times when I’ve wandered into the kitchen and overheard him on the phone to mitch, but nothing he’s told me himself. Despite this, he still insists I have to come and spend christmas with him and his close family. The idea of me hanging out with my young cousins and distant relatives apparently doesn’t satisfy him. 

“Are you serious!” Eleanor gasps as she unwraps her own present. Everyone had picked the perfect gifts for each other this year. In a pure coincidence, I ended up with Harry’s name after Nick made me trade because he’d already bought Julia’s present for her. I’ve been nervous about it all evening, I was sure he’d like it, a little too sure. That was the problem. One night, wrapped up in Harry’s bed, he’d recalled his latest tragedy to me: He’d taken shroom with Mitch on his last trip to LA and subsequently decided to skinny dip in the sea, losing his favourite mustard cords in the process. The only times we’ve seen everyone else has been with the both of us present and , to my knowledge, he hasn’t mentioned this to anyone else. The brown paper package that sat on the coffee table could invite a few more questions that I was prepared to answer. 

“Harry, you’re next!” Ellie grinned, hugging her present to her chest. 

Thanks to our early secrecy, there’s been no opportunity to tell our friends we were dating. Eleanor hasn’t stopped her constant questioning but we’ve kept up a pretty good front of excuses. It was still freezing out so it made sense for us both to climb into his car together at the end of the night. Nobody had to know we would be going home to the same house where we’d climb into the same heavenly bed and scramble eggs together in the morning. 

“I’m going, I’m going!” Harry laughs as Ellie tries to hurry him up, playing perfectly into her role as the youngest in our group. 

He pulls the first fold of paper back with his ringed fingers and immediately looks up at me as the mustard fabric shines up at him. He grins wide, beaming back at me before pulling the rest of the paper back and laying the trousers out in front of him. 

“No babe...where did you find them?” He’s running his fingers down the cord, in awe to have his favorite trousers back - or at least a copy. 

I don’t miss how Eleanor and Nick’s heads turn to share a look of shock as the pet name tumbles out. Before I can put anything together, Harry’s standing and leaning over the coffee table. He wraps his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug and whispering his thanks in my ear. 

“Wait I dont - how did you know it was h-” Julia pipes up, before she can finish she’s cut off by the joint gasps of Nick and Ellie as Harry plants a wet kiss to my cheek - then my lips, and laughs at our friends reaction. 

“I knew it!” Ellie yells, pointing frantically between the two of us, Harry now having stepped over the table and come to sit next to me, pulling me into his side.

“What was-” Julia stammers, “Since when!” 

Harry’s eyes flutter down to my face. He giggles quietly when he catches on to my glare. This wasn’t exactly how I’d imagined the evening going. 

“Have you just been lying to my face for the past three months?” Ellie asks, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting her lips. 

“Five,” Harry mumbles, almost just as an inside joke for the both of us to enjoy. I slap my hand against his shoulder to shut him up but the damage is already done. 

“Five months!” Even Theo’s joining in now. “How didn’t we know?” 

“It didn’t start out like this honestly, we would’ve told you.” I try and explain, eager for this to quiet down so we could get to the roast dinner waiting for us in the oven. 

“How did it start?” Nick pokes, drawing Julia and Ellie’s attention as the same puzzled expressions adorn their faces. 

“Unimportant,” Harry brushes off, standing up to tower over us all and reaching a hand back for my own. “We better get dinner, we wouldn't want burnt potatoes.” 

Harry pulls on my arm gently, leading me out the room before anyone can object. 

In the kitchen, he picks up a tea towel and starts to check on the food, prodding at the parsnips. I roll my eyes as he ties his lavender apron around his waist and tentatively pulls the potato tray from the oven. 

“Harry..” I sigh, trying not to laugh as he turn to face me, spatula in hand. 

“Yes dear?”  

“What was that?” 

“Oh - You’ve gotta shimmy a little spatula under the potatoes or they’ll break apart-” 

“No, obviously not that,” He makes it so hard so stay stern, a giggle leaks out as he lifts a hand to rest on his hip. “Why did you do that?” 

“I want them to know.” drops his utensils, tone sincere as he takes another step towards me. “I want our friends to know how much I love you already, and you remember about my mustard cords so..it felt like the perfect time.” 

“What?” I stutter, looking up at him from where he’s pulled me into his chest. His hands rest on my waist, rings a little hold against my exposed skin. 

“You remembered the trousers I lost last month in LA -”

“You love me?” 

His eyes go a little wide, a smile peaking through as the sides of his mouth quirk upwards. Realising what he just said, he lifts a hand from my waist to rest it against my face and lean down a little. 

“Of course I love you.” He whispers, his voice a little croaky and I can see tiny droplets gathering in his eyes that make my heart flutter. 

“Love you too..” I mumble. I wipe a thumb over his cheek before pulling him down into a kiss. I feel his smile against my own, and everything’s perfect for just a second. 

“So you’ll come to Christmas with me?” 

. . . . .

Hiii I hate the ending :)

Tysm for reading !! pls leave a like or reblog (it rlly helps <3) if you enjoyed it x

[fluffyfranny]

So hey! Might as well start posting! 

Starting off with an oldie in my past writing archives when I was at my peak in the Markiplier fandom. Still love his content dearly, but I don’t think I’ll write for his egos anytime soon.

Posting this with a lil motivation from @yaysof11037 who has become such a great mutual earlier on this week! (If ya haven’t checked out their works you totally should btw). In return for the lovely angst they provided for me, angst is what you shall receive in turn >:3

Hope y’all enjoy this piece I conjured WAY back in April :0

TW for descriptive gore, past and present character death and overall angst in general under the cut >:3

~Gone Too Soon~

Paranoia.

That was one of the primary emotions Eric felt all the time. The poor boy had been through a lot. He had lost a majority of his family, including his mother and the rest of his brothers, in a tragic accident, and he considered himself an “omen” of bad luck, of sorts, since things seemed to die around him.

Unfortunately, that was about to come true, once again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It all started one brisk night, when Eric was having trouble sleeping for what seemed like the fifth time this week. He tossed and turned underneath the sheets, clutching his worn-down, yellow handkerchief with an iron grip in one of his fists. This lasted for about an hour.

The primary cause for this state of unrest, however, was not only his ever present state of anxiousness, but the fact that a nightmare unlike any he had ever dreamt was roiling through his mind.

He had dreamt that the rest of the Ipliers currently living in the manor, including his father, had mysteriously disappeared. Eric had been wandering the halls, calling out for them, his cries becoming squeaky as tears threatened to spill over...

Before he found his family and the states that they were in...

But then, he shot bolt upright in his bed. His breaths were rapid and his forehead was layered with a fine sheen of nervous sweat. He pinched his hand to make sure that it was all a dream, and fortunately, it was.

Eric tried to stabilize his breathing then and there, attempting to calm down. “It w-was all j-just a bad d-dream,” he kept repeating to himself. “None of t-that was r-real.”

With a sharp exhale of air, he dragged himself out of bed and left his room. He figured a walk around the vast, ever-expanding halls of the manor would calm his nerves, along with a glass of water.

The weight of his prosthetics made the stairs creak, but the other Ipliers knew better than to interrogate whoever was making such a ruckus. When they heard the familiar metallic clunk against the steps, they knew it was Eric, and they either left him be or awoke to provide him assistance, if needed.

As he made his way down the stairs and into one of the bigger hallways, he sensed that something was off. The air felt thicker, as if some invisible force was adding weight to the environment without anything actually being there.

In addition, he thought he caught a whiff of something along the lines of smoke. He shivered slightly at all of this, but shook his head in denial, brushing these factors off as remaining slivers of his nightmare that still plagued his mind.

Eric was just about to step foot into the living room when one of his prosthetic legs slipped in something wet, nearly sending him careening to the tile floor. Fortunately, he grabbed onto the railing on the side of the wall with a less than elusive yelp to stabilize himself.

He caught his breath and, with fear laced in his vision, glanced down slowly towards the ground. He nearly started having another panic attack when he saw a smear of red coat the tile and flow around the bend. The red coloration was so deep, it nearly appeared black as ink.

With even shakier steps, Eric clambered around the corner to locate the source of the stain…

Only to be met with the pale, lifeless stare of his father, lying in a pool of his own blood.

This time, Eric’s screech could be heard across the entirety of the mansion, had it been any louder. He immediately knelt down and began inspecting Derek’s clothes with quivering hands. His red, white and blue polo shirt was now dyed with an even darker crimson due to the blood seeping out of a massive hole in his chest.

“D-dad?” Eric whimpered, his handkerchief slightly speckled with Derek’s blood after placing it next to him. “W-what h-happened? Pl-please get up!”

He began shaking his parent’s shoulders rather forcefully, causing his head to loll to the side rather limply, then softly thumping back down onto the floor once Eric had ceased his actions.

Before he could let loose a scream of his own, several more heart-stopping yells proceeded to echo throughout the living room and the halls surrounding it, followed by the crashing of bodies. Eric’s head snapped up and glanced in all directions to locate who was screaming. However, despite the noises sounding like they were coming from right around him, there was nobody else with him. Aside from his father.

Then, that’s when he heard them.

“Why, hello there, Eric.”

His head whipped to his left to meet the gaze of a man talked about throughout the household, but none too kindly. Said man stood before him in a red tailcoat and black dress pants, both of which had gashes torn in them, and from these gashes seeped both red and black. Various other cuts also covered his bare hands and face. The red was definitely blood, Eric assumed, but why was this man bleeding black as well?

Either way, it didn’t matter as the man strode in Eric’s direction and placed the blunt end of the cane he clutched on the area where his heart would be before giving the area a gentle tap and stepping back again, smiling wickedly all the while.

“Wh-what have y-you done with m-my friends?” Eric stammered, trying to lace some confidence into his voice. “M-Mark?”

“Oh, poor, sweet Eric,” Mark tutted, shaking his head and scattering loose flecks of blood and pitch-black ichor. “I’ve been waiting a while now to exact my revenge against your...family here.”

“R-r-revenge?” Eric questioned with wide eyes and a more noticeable quiver in his voice. “B-but the others a-are so sweet t-to me. They’d n-never do-”

“Oh, but my friend,” Mark interrupted with a wave of his hand. “You’ve just missed out on all the horrendous things they have done to others. Even to me.”

“T-that’s a l-lie!” Eric tried to shout. “They’d never d-do anything b-bad to others! You’re just t-trying to c-convince me o-otherwise!”

“You don’t get it, do you?” Mark began to raise his voice, inky-black ichor seeping out of the corners of his mouth. “You’re just too naive to see it! The others are evil…”

“No, t-that’s y-you!” Eric finally found the courage to retort back semi-confidently. “Y-you’re the e-evil one!”

At this, Mark’s eyes widened, and he turned his head slowly towards him, a pissed look in his eyes and on his face. He snarled, his lips quirking up to bare his teeth back at the boy.

“You insufferable brat!” Mark said, ever angrier. “Just for all that you’ve said and done, I’ll show you what has been made of your “family” and be on my way.”

Before Mark disappeared in an explosion of smoky black mist, he gave Eric one final glare and remark:

“Don’t be surprised if you end up being next.”

And with that, he was gone.

However, once he vanished, the air around the room began to shimmer before the environment revealed a truly horrendous sight from behind Mark’s illusion.

Blood and gore everywhere.

Eric felt like he was going to be sick at the sight of his friends plastered around the house, laying in their own life essence. He hesitantly gazed around and, one by one, took note of what happened to each of them.

First, he spotted Wilford in the kitchen, draped over the countertop with the broken end of a wine bottle stuck in his head, the jagged ring of glass biting into his scalp and sticking there, all the while drawing blood that flowed off of Wil’s head like tiny rivers.

Then, he saw Bim hanging from a taxidermy deer skull in the living room, the antlers emerging from above his eye sockets to make it look like he had sprouted the appendages.

As Eric shook his head in both fear and denial, he practically bolted out of the conjoining rooms and down the hall he came from. There, he saw both Google and Bing’s dismembered parts scattered across the floor, with a few limbs laying on the stairwell and a head posted atop it. Whoever’s head it was was barely recognizable, for the artificial skin was peeled away to reveal the mechanical insides.

Eric, surprisingly, only started to cry harder now, tears rapidly streaming down his cheeks as he realized that this was not just a dream.

It was a nightmare come true.

He then came across Dr Iplier, whose corpse was laying halfway inside a closet and covered with crudely stitched gashes that still leaked blood, which, to Eric’s horror, was a mixture of the red and black that Mark was coated in.

As he rounded the corner, avoiding going upstairs again, he nearly tripped over Host, whose blindfold was ripped clean off to expose his empty, bloody eye sockets. In addition, he was also missing the skin on one side of his jaw, exposing the teeth and bone beneath to give him a zombified look.

This drew a gag from Eric at the sight of Host’s mangled face, and he quickly fled deeper down the hall.

At this point, he had exhausted himself, so he simply let his back hit the wall and slide down to the floor, where he held his head between his knees. He then began to let loose gut-wrenching sobs that would make anyone else cry, as well.

He pulled his handkerchief out of his pocket and began to fidget with it, nearly tearing it in half with the force he was using on it.

Just as he was about to fling the cloth away, he felt the air around him drop in temperature, which caused him to look up. There stood Dark, his hair disheveled as if he were running his fingers through it all day. His jacket and shirt were both wrinkled, and his tie was missing.

At the sight of Eric curled up in a sobbing mess, Dark got on both knees in front of him and patted one of his own. He looked up to see the pale man smiling at him sadly.

“I’m terribly sorry, Eric,” Dark spoke at a low volume. “We couldn’t save them.”

Eric choked out another sob as he gazed up at Dark with watery eyes. “Th-they’re all dead! Even m-my d-dad is g-gone. My whole f-family is g-gone!”

He put his head between his legs again so Dark wouldn’t see him cry anymore. He felt a heavy hand rest atop his head and ruffle his hair, a seemingly kind gesture amidst these depressing times.

“Look here, Eric,” Dark said as he gently pressed a fingertip underneath Eric’s chin and raising his head to look back at him. “You still have me. We can be our own little family.”

“B-but what if M-Mark comes back f-for you?” Eric whined. “Th-then I’ll b-be all a-alone!”

“Trust me as you have in the past,” Dark drawled out, moving the hand away from his chin and dropping it back to his side. “He won’t be back.”

“P-promise?” Eric questioned, voice shaking harder than it ever had.

Dark merely responded with a nod and one word:

“Promise.”

Before he could get up and take Eric away with him, he let out a grunt and got back on his knees. Eric could only stare in horror as a spot on Dark’s dress shirt became soaked in black. The spot only grew bigger, as if he were hit with a bullet, and the blood was spreading further out.

Dark gently prodded at the fresh hoel in his gut before looking back up at Eric and uttering two words that would be the last he’d ever hear.

“I’m sorry.”

After uttering those final words, Dark collapsed right into Eric’s lap, his head landing in his cupped hands. He let out a shocked gasp and lifted Dark’s head up to look into his eyes and wave his hand in front of them.

“Oh...oh n-no, D-Dark, please d-don’t!” He began to babble uncontrollably, tears falling faster than ever, with a few landing onto Dark’s cheeks to make it seem as if he were crying. They ran down his face, which seemed to be getting paler by the second, even though it seemed impossible for him to pale any further.

“P-please don’t l-leave me,” Eric sobbed, cradling Dark’s head as he felt his blood soak into his own polo shirt, staining it black. “N-not alone in th-this place.”

Dark could only let out a faint wheeze that sounded like a chuckle before he took one final deep breath and let it out. His obsidian eyes seemed to dim as this last breath fled from between his lips.

Eric gasped as he heard this and, not wanting to lose the last friend he had left, clutched onto Dark’s body and held him close, his head lolling over and landing limply onto Eric’s shoulder.

He sat there, clinging to Dark’s body amidst the massacre of his family that had taken place just mere moments ago, and cried for hours on end.

This was truly a nightmare that Eric would never wake up from.

[kreidewaltz]

YEAR END LOVE.

happy holidays and advance happy new year everyone!! this was supposed to be for christmas but.. yeah hope u had a great time w your loved ones <33 this is for my friends who helped me get thru shitty times, who made me laugh so hard, and made me feel appreciated :) to my mutuals, thank u for taking ur time to talk to me!! any interactions from u guys makes me so so happy <3 im proud of you for getting through this year!! this is gonna b a long one .. hehe <3 sorry if i didn't mention u!! i still love u :( this is in no particular order dw dw ily all d same

to my followers, mutuals, and people who likes my stuff in general ツ

AAAAAAA guys ily you rock !! thank u for supporting me and just being there for me (esp for the ones who listened and stayed w my shit !!) ty for liking, reblogging about my stuff, or just interacting w me!! pls pls talk to me let's have some good convo hehe i hope no one will send me or any blog hate bc that isn't cool >:( happiness and love only are allowed people!!!

@sunakissses ツ

my bestie, my bae, babe <3 you rock val if im honest :( even tho we haven't been friends for a long time, we just clicked !! and yeah talking to u is just makes me at ease n u have that comfy vibes :)) and our interactions r so funny and wholesome <33 i just love when im talking to ya you know :(( and idk i love ur supportive aura whenever i do something hehe :( lets keep going next year and be more closer >:) and yes u and suna r going to be the cat's first ever aunt and uncle <3

@romaune ツ

okay .. the literal meaning of sunshine, yes you gracie baby :( you're so wholesome i wanna cry thats me 2 u !! i love your aura and just everything, i get so excited when u reply to my asks fr, because ure so enthusiastic n i like that a lot !!! :( ik we don't talk a lot yet but from our interactions (or just us screamin abt our mans winks) i know i gained a friend, a good n funny friend for that:) and ure so like hinata i wanna squish and hug and talk to!! i love how we scream abt our ongoing suna brainrots HAHA can't forget that <33

@cryoqi ツ

people put ur hands up 4 the coolest person ive met !!!! >:( istg you're so kind and so funny even if thats not ur intention T_T at first i was intimidated by u but then yeah <33 we vibe :( only the real ones know abt us and me bein your bread anon <33 ure rlly great and can't forget d time us and dove sang thru texts ...? yes that i cried while laughing HAHA, and yes i love the way u write 2!! so you and just amazing overall :)) n yeah i like to talk to u a lot in the server !!! ure so funny & relatable at times hihi

@miyasangel ツ

arden bae !!! you're so ... cool and pretty and one of the people i want 2 talk to in here <3 you're like cool and the way you write is chefs kiss >:( and i love it whenever we talk abt random things AHSHS and when we talk abt atsumu <33 i love love that !! n yeah good thing i interacted w u b4 on ur old blog and get to talk to you more !!! i was so shy n nervous while sending you asks sometimes LMAO idk why :(( ure rlly a great friend <3 n i think u also became a factor on why im liking inarizaki :D

@cafemiya ツ

omg hail to issy !! i know we don't talk that much yet but i literally like u a lot >:( you're rlly great w your long fics !! n handmade heaven lead me to you and ur asks <3 and you're so chaotic too HAHA i like that :) dw ill always shower u w compliments bc u so deserve it bby !!! and i squeal sometimes when u reply to my asks w the same energy :(( n yes i just love you and your vibe in general <3 and im so excited 4 the collab !!! <3 thanks for reaching me out hehe or my slowburn fic journey wont happen :( anw ily and keep slayin issy baby!!!! :D

@kuro0luvr ツ

omg kieran .. the big phat supporter of chlojime is here people !!! <3 i just love loooove talking to you esp in the server & we scream abt anything n everything :( and thank u for always giving me support and everyone else when we're down!! you're one of my sunshines 2 :( i love how we just talk and instantly b close friends you know!! even tho we dont chat like in dms we r so close hehe :( and yes ill never forget how happy u got when i complimented that u have akaashi vibes <3 ty for being a good friend n supporter to me :(((

@oikawasbliss ツ

milo everyday !!! >:) i missed our interactions tbh :( you're just so chill n i vibe w u a lot!! your themes omg i want em its so aesthetic and everything <3 and uhm i love ur love for oikawa >< i mean who wouldn't but whenever i see smth kawa related i think of u immediately T_T and yes ure just so so cool :(( lets talk more soon gah and maybe talk abt aot hehe smirks <3 and yes i just like ur themes and vibe a lot <3 lets talk more soon gah >:)

@himichii ツ

I KNOW we didn't talk really like until few weeks ago but ... you're so funny and kind n lowkey sweet HAHA u were so intimidating before i can't talk 2 u <//3 but im glad i did !! not me writin this and listening to the playlist u made for me :( omg thank u for that and the other that u posted, i felt nostalgic and (good) sad on d inside <3 HAHS lets talk more omfg idk what 2 say :( OH oh ure a greatt writer :( the angst u sent yesterday made me sad gah <3 let's talk more in the new years!!! :(

@hajimine ツ

oml lexy bae where do i start??? omg ily like <3 because you're so nice n sweet n so funny 2!! glad i started participating in your ask games and on that we became friends hehe :( i love how we just talk abt anything on your asks <33 like ur life keeps me entertained HAHA and when u became more chaotic n all that .. i liked it!!! :( and oh u write so well if u didnt know >:( can't wait 4 more interactions w you bae !! <3 and ugh omg ily <3 literally cannot express how much :( you have good vibes n i wanna have that too !! and love how we just scream over one man ;D

@lcaita ツ

omg kai ... hi <3 HAHS sorry if im so awkward wtf but ure so cool and so funny !!! i like ur vibes always even tho ure not always around <3 and when youre around i just get happy !!! >< for some reason i love ur name hehe and uhm i love ur aesthetics hehe on ur acc !!! >:) and yes thank u for being a kind friend hehe :( lets talk more next yr abt anything!!! maybe abt ur mans (kaashi, semi, others) hehe ;)

@kemochie ツ

nea !!! i just . wanna say that you're a sweet human being :( and deserve the world :( ik we didnt interact much yet but !!! i love u already n your aura in general <3 and i just get soft on ur username for some reason T_T i love our little interactions from time 2 time n i wanna boost that more on the new years!! <3 idk i like u :( that's it thats my say :(

@nightmareupondaydream ツ

kana baby !!! im so grateful for u whenever u send me sweet words at random times ... and when i need it <3 and i missed our chats in dms :( lets do it again sometime !! im gonna be here for u okay :( and you're so sweet fr i love u,, and yeah just talkin about how shitty life is or how my writing goes, let's do that on the new years oki!! <3333

@ravscrii ツ

thank u for being there like really >< ik u have own probs to solve but you still helped me :( ty for being a great listener and supporter hehe <3 u deserve great things !!! and pls dw okay we're good even tho we arent talking that much :( i miss that hehe n ure a kind and funny person ASHS esp in the server ur replies n everything make me laugh :( lets talk more soon like the old times AAAAAA i miss it hehe <3 and goodluck on genshin HAHA pls entertain me w it even tho i don't play </3

@rintaroll ツ

olivia babe <3 omg i missed u sorry 4 not checking on u :( forgive me <//3 just wnna say u totally made my 2020 better n a little more bearable <3 i like ur vibes sm and ur name .. olivia wow i like it :( and oh you're so aesthetic like ur blog in general ??? hello pls step on me :( and u also influenced me (for some reason) to like tsumu more ?! which i dont mind at all .. i like it when we scream over tsumu or i tease u n him getting horknee :D yeah and god i can't forget the time we fangirled over gojo on ur asks ... and u sent me gojo gifs which made me scream <3 one of my unforgettable moments w ya!!

to my hajime anon + mod ツ

thank u for always being here :( and you just chatting w me makes me so happy <3 i hope you'll see this hehe and just thank u and ily yknow :( when im down or happy, or shitty you're just there, supporting me always <3 im so grateful for that!! and hajime anon mod ily :( thank u for taking ur time to chat w me and make me so happy hehe <3 take ur time okay :)

to my baby, stella ツ

AAAAAAA idk if you'll see this but shoot me an ask if u saw :( uhm i love ur vibes and you're so cool !! promise <3 and your theme changes r always so beautiful <3 pls pls i love you so much agh im so worried when u deactivated :( pls dont overwork okay whenever ure working :( i love talkin to u always in ur asks !!! ure so sweet and lovely grr >:( u deserve all d good things okay ily stel :((

[euphhorias]

♧ 🧎‍♀️ hello~

queen kris hi!!

you’re my: leo bestie aside aside from anj and soph, and an inspiration to me honestly, fellow jikook enthusiast 💘

how i met you: i believe i reached out a few months ago saying how much i loved your blog and boom the rest is history as they say

why i follow you: um why wouldn't i follow you? the way u make your gifs is so unique, in my five years here, i have never seen coloring or softness like yours and every time there's a set on my dash, i know it's your work 🌙

your blog is: oh my gosh so pretty! ik u just changed your theme but this one is even lovelier than the last ✨ everything matches and don't mind me i'm always lurking on your posts 👀

your url is: calicooky was a cutie and she will be missed but u snagged a GEM w this new one!! i love it!! 🤧

your icon is: hottest human to grace this earth

a random fact i know about you: u can't buy something without one of us in the gc blatantly telling u to 😂 enjoy the dicon mag babe

general opinion: you're a gentle soul and even if u have trouble expressing it, u hold a lot of love within u 💞 i feel completely lucky to be friends with u, to be there for u whenever you're struggling in life, as u brought many of us together. your talent knows no bounds so pls don't doubt yourself, u do so much for others but take time for yourself too ily

a random thought i have: well i never really shipped real people before joining this fandom, and you've educated me a lot about jikook and bts in general so i'm thankful! 🐰

mutuals send me a ♧ and i’ll do this

[lgcsunwoo]

hello everyone!! i’m super excited to be here with my big dumbass, jeon sunwoo! a quick and dirt rundown of his #stats: nineteen, first year student at korea university, and hopefully a future actor (because he sucks at everything else). you can check out his about and biography pages if you want to know more, but i’ll also drop a brief intro under the cut. pls do hmu if you’d like to plot! i have sunwoo’s plots page up and i’ll leave some connection ideas under the cut as well. you can find me on ims usually, but also twitter and discord (please ask for my username!) if you prefer. ooooorrrrrr you can simply like this post and i’ll come to you to plot :’D

QUICK FACTS:

entered legacy in january 2020, so he’s still pretty new to the whole idol life/training thing. isn’t really good at like, the basic requirements of being an idol (so singing/dancing/rapping) and focuses more on things like modelling, acting, and variety because those are things he CAN do, you know? 

he’s an idol trainee for now though and he sucks. can i get an f in the chat

a first year at korea university, majoring in physical education. he’s also part of the baseball club @ uni and it’s something he’s very passionate about for reasons... anyway school isn’t his strong suit; he knows he only got into ku because of his dad’s connections

he’s ~pretty~ wealthy; dad’s the ceo of a heavy equipment company and mom is a former miss korea winner/model turned philanthropist. he also has a little brother (jinwoo) who is five years old and sunwoo literally never shuts up about how cute and perfect he is

since he basically lived life as an only kid, he’s a little spoiled and useless - his parents used to dote on him, basically gave him everything he wanted and did everything for him so when it comes to life skills he’s sorely lacking

the only thing he’s really good at is baseball - used to play in little league, then on his high school team. they were really good, consistently did well in national tournaments

(he’s not sure if he loves baseball because he’s good at it, or if he’s good at it because he loves it. that’s a whole other thing we won’t get into).

anyway!!! went viral during a tournament because they did a short segment on him and people were like wow he’s handsome + those proportions + talent and a bunch of people told him he should be an idol/celebrity and he was like haha maybe (but no)

but he didn’t get scouted by any of the teams in the kbo or futures league!! his dad helped him get into school but he was like, i can’t live life for just SCHOOL

so he auditioned for legacy at the urging of a friend and got in and was like, so desperate for a new dream that he decided ok this is what i want to do with my life

(we don’t know if it is)

he’s actually a super warm, friendly, cheerful guy. always the mood maker in any situation, wants everyone to get along. can sometimes come across as like arrogant or egotistical but he’s a rich kid so #webeenknew

kinda aimless in the sense that he lives in the moment and doesn’t worry about the future... he’s not good at planning so he’s just like, i will not think about it. he’s just straight vibing most of the time...

honestly really trusting and obedient, wears his heart on his sleeve, can be emotionally volatile at times but he tries to internalize the ~bad things~ and push people away when he’s not feeling great!! lies a lot too--innocent white lies that are mostly to like, get out of situations he doesn’t wanna deal with, but still

loves affection and being praised... external validation is s*xy to him... when he doesn’t get it he just crashes... sorry he’s not good at like... self-motivation

overall, he’s a good kid. i swear.

this was supposed to be short why does this always happen to me i’m so sorry

CONNECTIONS:

friends... pls... he’s a very friendly guy and generally will like add you to his circle after two conversations so i feel like he would have tons of these!!

fellow junior trainees especially extreme newbies!! let’s be bad at things and try to figure shit out together

also any korea university students pls hit him up... let’s be campus buddies... alternatively, any yonsei students: let’s throw the fuck down let’s GO school rivalries

where are his dorm i buddies at... sunwoo gets attached to people easily but he’s also the worst fucking roommate so...

older/more experienced trainees he can look at with sparkly anime eyes and seek validation from!! please mentor him!!

fellow actors/acting hopefuls in general... same goes for models/variety stars (current or aspiring). his people... he wants to connect with his people...

would love some enemies like maybe not even that antagonistic but sunwoo can get pretty annoying... maybe someone who hates him but sunwoo thinks they’re friends, or like... RIVALS... anything really

one sided crushes? mutual crushes that don’t go anywhere?? soft shoujo romance vibes ruined by how dense he is?? 

maybe (1) ex. maybe. dated them more for the feeling of being in a relationship rather than for real and now it’s awkward

people who like baseball or sporty people ): hit him up... let’s exercise together

older sibling figures who can take care of him because god knows he needs it... also he’s a cute younger brother and will do aegyo on command

or if nothing’s working i have a more detailed plots page as well!