#and i love how he becomes a child around the muppets.

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

Vincent Price guest stars on The Muppet Show (1977)

[starkwlkr]

Hi!! Can we have headcanons for all of the Jackman babies?

of course you can lovely anon 😘🫶🏼

alex

so he’s the firstborn and it’s canon that he was born in the year 2000 simply because i am so bad with dates (plus that’s the year my sister was born so it’s easy for me to remember)

he once told a girl at his school that his dad was wolverine to try to impress her and she didn’t believe him so he made hugh pick him up from school for a week even though he had his own car

he’s a big fan of horror movies, his favorite horror directors are mike flanagan and wes craven

he enjoys musicals every now and then though he’ll never admit it to anyone

him and reese are only two years apart so they attended school together for a few years. instead of ignoring reese, they would sit together at lunch and even had a few classes together.

he doesn’t go into acting like people expected him to. he goes to college and studies architecture (thank you to the anon that suggested this!!)

reese

my sweet middle child 🫶🏼

so he was very quiet and awkward in high school and his friend group was small. the only time he really talked was if he was with his friends/alex or if he was called on to answer a question

during parents teacher conferences, his teachers told you and hugh that the only complaint they had about reese was that he was too quiet and needed to participate. of course you got mad because if reese doesn’t want to participate then he doesn’t need to!!

dr. pepper lover i said what i said

his school didn’t have a film club so he made one with his friends and the first film they watched was chicago because why wouldn’t he want to show off how talented his mom is?? bonus: you attend one of their gatherings and talk about the production of the movie ☺️

btw if you didn’t read the other fic where i mentioned chicago the musical, it’s canon that marvel actress!reader plays roxie <3

he’s a big momma’s boy

his dream is to be a director and make a movie with you and hugh as the leads but he’s scared that the media is going to say that he only got the opportunity because he’s a nepo baby

his idols are marilyn monroe and his mom ❤️

his comfort movie is the muppets movie

olivia

olivia my queen 🫶🏼 so she is not afraid to tell it like it is

she’s close in age to dafne keen so they become best friends on the set of logan and have been ever since <3 of course dafne ended up becoming an honorary member of the jackman family

she follows in her parents’ footsteps and becomes an actress. she really doesn’t care if people call her a nepo baby, she knows she is 💅🏼

her first role was an A24 movie (of your choice) and she was going press interviews when deadpool & wolverine came out so she was asked a lot about the movie, mostly if she was in it

she was the valedictorian of her graduating class and included logan’s last words in her speech: “i’ve watched my brother, cousins and friends graduate and now it’s my turn. so this is what it feels like.”

have y’all seen the pic of romy mars, sofia coppola’s daughter, on the set of priscilla and jacob elordi is bringing her cake and singing happy birthday to her?? well olivia took some inspiration from romy and was on set of the new avengers movie that marvel actress!reader is directing and pedro pascal ended up being her cake and singing happy birthday to her 🤭

here’s the pic lol

ok that’s all for now <3 thanks for sticking around!! love y’all ☺️😘

@kellyxo1 @barnes70stark @flyestvenustrap @ru-kru @evasmlp

[mage-ical-character-person]

He doesn’t know what a target audience is.

Sir. Child does not understand mannequin soap opera. You cannot expect mannequin soap opera to appeal to average child.

That doesn’t mean you have to make THE SLOP! I love children’s programming and this is insulting. You parodied blues clues you referenced the muppet show you should know better. Become Sesame Street! Become Yo Gabba Gabba! Become Storybots! NOW!

Genuinely though. Such a good episode. I love how pathetically lonely this guy is. Favorite genre of guy. Meggy’s incredibly mixed feelings on him. It’s great.

Genuinely so excited to see where this bit goes.

I think it’s notable that… Puzzles didn’t really do anything all that bad here? He’s at rock bottom and the worst thing he does is yell and children. Which is of course bad, but very tame considering his track record. Nobody got kidnapped, or brainwashed, or forced to be an actor against their will. The only one who got hurt is Puzzles.

He has NO ACTORS. He is using mannequins and chicken nuggets as characters. And he can suck people into his head even when he doesn’t have the ratings power. He does it in Mario the Exploro when he’s half dead.

and the fact that he asks.

Sure, he’s being a smug jerk about it, but he asks. He doesn’t force anyone to do anything.

I guess once you get a taste of someone actively and genuinely choosing to be around you, it’s hard to go back to keeping only brainwashed company.

(Also don’t act like something can’t be both profound and a dumb meme. Ironic enjoyment is still enjoyment even if they don’t “get” it. Bring people joy. Throws Potato Knishes at you. Little King John… the flood…)

[atopvisenyashill]

i can elaborate if anyone wants, i’m not joking when i say i will be stuck in this car for like four hours 😭 why is urban sprawl so bad (it’s white flight i know this, not the point).

PROBLEMS

uneven as FUCK pacing - maybe there’s no getting around this but i do think this ties back to the idea that they do not care about the source material the way they should. so they just like, rush past the parts they clearly don’t think are interesting to get to what they DO like, because they only have 10 (and EIGHT) episodes to do it in. that’s not enough time!!!! 13 episodes MINIMUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SLOW IT DOWN LET IT SIMMER

in season 1, i think the younger generation suffer from this writing choice the most, but so did the strongs & the velaryons most acutely. i also think older rhaenyra is often too busy with Plot to have good Character Moments while older alicent gets a much more even hand. viserys dominates screentime, & we all know i want to top that old man but now he’s dead and the characters that are alive need so much more work.

in season 2, i think the velaryons once again suffer from this, and around idk rooks rest the greens very suddenly drop off. rhaenyra becomes much more balanced and alicent spends too much time being sadly silent instead of doing serious character work w other characters + they completely cut off aliotto & alilarys (and arguably aligon) for That Other One and i just don’t get why u would focus on the worst ship out of those three.

criston should have spent more time w aemond & gwayne should have been daeron. daemon gets too much fuckijg focus in harrenhal and only half of it is interesting. alys & simon you’ve done nothing wrong ever in your lives and i love you.

which tbc i don’t think they have SIDES they love i think there are EVENTS they find interesting & they prioritize getting to those events quickly (bc they don’t have enough episodes).

Alicent should have been older than Rhaenyra. you can make her a child bride, you can make her friends with Rhaenyra, you can make her homoerotic relationship with Rhaenyra the beating heart of your show and still have her be several years older than Rhaenyra, if you’re not a fucking coward.

Tullys - if i thought they did this because they felt it was too many characters to juggle, i’d get it. but you know damn well they did it bc they don’t think the muppet names fit their serious business aesthetic and they are fake fans for that shit.

The Lads - where is Black Aly. Where is Benjicot. Where is Sabitha. Where is Red Robb Rivers. what the fuck. why do the riverlands always get the shaft even when they’re technically getting focus.

the north - i’m sorry did we find it enjoyable when bran disappeared for a season. did u know that this doesn’t have to feel like nostalgia bait if you don’t TREAT IT like nostalgia bait??

nettles - cutting nettles defeats like, at least 33% of the reason you even adapt the dance. even if they backtrack, it is a mind boggling decision to attempt to do the dance without nettles. if u wanted to cut a dragonseed, i’m sorry, i kno i got ulfhusbands following me but cut one of those dudes. “oh but what about their dragon” vermithor & silverwing are the two most boring dragons and you can quote me.

Sunfyre & Dreamfyre - LIKE YOU KEPT VERMITHOR & SILVERWING, WHEN VERMITHOR IS THE UGLIEST DRAGON & SILVERWING IS JUST A LESS COOL DREAMFYRE BUT U CUT 90% OF THE SUNFYRE & DREAMFYRE CONTENT??? ARE YOU SILLY????

Velaryons - where do i even begin. it’s bad to racebend a family and then completely rework their characters so they’re less prevalent. idk how many times this has to be said, but idc if u think rhaenicent is the better ship, there was no reason to write laena the way they did. what was the point of having laenor live if they were just gonna kill him offscreen. what did THEY think they were cookin with vaemond huh. why do rhaenys & jacaerys never fucking interact on their own. can we get corlys talking to any of his grandkids except that one time with luke. pls.

the strongs - every day matthew needlham comes onto set and slays and they go “you know what. let’s have daemon do carpentry instead.” harwin’s entire character was either cut or implied. i like the alys stuff but hollywood has a problem with refusing to cast milfs and i won’t let it stand bc why can we have paddy AND rhys the dilfs but not alys. why is daemon played by a 40 year old but alys can’t be??

rhaenyra’s hair - it’s TWO BRAIDS do NOT piss me the fuck OFF. have the nerve to be RISKY instead of redoing dany’s fifty little braid big braid thing!!!

daeron - let me stop here.

honestly so many of the character troubles can be traced to “needs more time” - the kids in the back half of s1, corlys, rhaenyra in the back half of s1, the strongs, the riverlands, the north.

OR “i need u to acknowledge your limitations as writers” - alicent, the velaryons, the twins, some of the gender stuff, imo this comes from not having a diverse enough writers room & not having anyone writing that’s darker than a paper bag Does affect this.

listen. does brienne become plot relevant right away? no, she’s just kinda following catelyn around after some weird shit happened to her. but we still get to MEET her and CARE about her before stuff gets crazy. oberyn is introduced so we have an emotional tie to dorne in affc. hugh & ulf & the hull boys felt a bit randomly added but imo this is bc they narrowed the scope so much w everyone else.

NOT PROBLEMS

the yuri is INTEGRAL to the plot dont pmo

i have never seen a rhaenyra criticism that didn’t annoy tf out of me

“oh she’s too perfect” no “oh they favor her” no “um excuse you but rhaenyra is FEMININE” im mailing my dog’s shit to your house as we speak

they don’t have a favorite side stop saying that

the concept of black velaryons/dragon twins. i literally did that graphic and it would be so easy to have corlys explain this in his monologue to daemon but i actually think that In This Day And Age, it’s fine to look at a vey white source and go “now where can i maybe race or gender swap some stuff to add to the narrative” pls see iwtv & anne with an e for examples. what they did was maybe perplexing (well no it’s not, it’s a common trope) but still workable and tbh Corlys as a Black man is simply canon to me, eat shit.

“oh they softened this character i hate but they wrote the characters i love badly” it’s bc the writing is incredibly uneven across the board i need everyone to get over themselves. i’m a rhaenyra apologist and even then, they just clearly miss the mark in a few spots bc this series is sloppily written bc it’s on a time crunch. the vision they were going for in their softening of every single character makes sense & are often changes they made to deal with a source material that is VAGUE and PURPOSEFULLY CONFUSING. it’s fine.

the abigail thorne cameo. should tyland & her have done jack shit for like a third of the runtime? no. but like, just casting a funny lady in this part is fine?

i’m sorry i think the hairstyles can be whack but the wigs are great?? why is everyone always shittalking the wigs?? well okay the aegon s2 & jacaerys s1 wigs were p bad but i don’t think any of the rest of them are particularly egregious. everyone shits on the daemon wigs specifically but i think he looks very good??!

the cgi is good i think some of u are too picky

Alicent - listen. obviously i think some of the complaints about her writing has merit. but some of the shit i see is just the the stupidest shit. making alicent a child bride was a good choice, bc we don’t see aemma’s child brideness. also, she’s 17 when they start fucking around, viserys is not like Meaningfully better in the books about her. making alicent a young mom IS the correct choice! keeping alicent as a main character in s2 IS the correct choice. “this is a story about the fight between rhaenyra & aegon” your brain is the size of a pea.

Visaemon is the correct choice (imo they should have leaned in slightly harder to the Viserys/Rhaenyra angle to really bring it home, but everything they did regarding the characterization of this triangle is good.)

and for that matter, bringing aegon, helaena, and aemond closer in age to jacaerys, lucerys, and the twins is also the correct choice. the helaena visions, aegon sadboy, jacaerys classism allegations, baela not gaf abt the bastard allegations, these were all good choices. leo hurt! aemond save me, same me leo hurt! aemond.

helaena and viserys being dreamers is genuinely inspired

criston being dornish is also a good move, all the people who complain about this are just like. so clearly racist aksjdjd and i think they do a good job with Criston As The Lone Dornishman (though they fail a LOT with What Does Being Dornish Mean To Criston but again, this goes back to the writer’s room)

the prophecy stuff is GOOD i’m stealing from kingcunny here but if u don’t like the idea of rhaenyra getting fixated on the same prophetic magic that drove her father to murder her mother, and driving her son away, then maybe targaryen madness isn’t for you!! “well i don’t like the targaryens” i also wish they’d do a show about literally anyone else & i think these overhyped lizard fuckers are obnoxious but like, the main series is FULL of prophecies, you can’t SPIT without landing on another prophecy, wanting LESS MAGIC in the MAGIC SHOW is exactly why we have the dumpster fire that is the main show. be serious!!!!!

[ilikelookingatthings]

Anyone else kind of hope in the next Trolls movie they might properly adress the trolls becoming Grey thing?

because in the first movie they make a point that Among all of the trolls in the village Branch is the only Grey one due to the trauma of feeling like it was his fault his granny died and he felt it was the music's fault because he lured the Bergans over because he wasn't paying attention. He avoided hug time and seemed to put up a front to push the others away...but by the end of the movie he was okay with hug time and was able to bring back everyone else's colors and got his colors which were much brighter back.

and we saw all the trolls go grey and demoralized when poppy got sarcastic and felt hopeless....but Branch was living in a relatively peaceful settlement for ages and wasn't doomed to be eaten and was atcvely doing his best to prepare and fight against those type of scenerios...so its not just the hopeless factor right?

but what I don't get is Branch goes from super grey to super bright blue...but then in the following movies he was bright but then got darker?

like on one hand in the second movie he felt a bit off to me because he was supposedly more positive due to not being grey anymore so felt like he had more difficulty calling poppy out..but what I don't get is he is clearly much darker in this third movie then he was before? what happened to his colors? why did no one bring it up?

like does it come and go? can he shift his colors now depending on how he feels? but we also saw how there WAS a bias about him being kind of weird and grey so why does him being greyier not get adressed by anyone if those bright colors f his were so hard won in the first movie?

also what about his brothers? I know its been a while since they've been around branch so they don't know the specifics about him being grey before(which feels odd they never brought up) but do they not think his colors aren't as bright as they used to be?

also his brothers' colors (aside from bruce/spruce and maybe clay's hair) seemed to be not as bright...like their bods seem to bathc but werent they all bright colored before on the body? did they just naturally fade?

did his brothers turn Grey at all?

cuz honestly it seem difficult to get a troll sad enough for them to be grey..let alone stay Grey...and considering all of troll villaige went through the trauma of having been systematically eaten for a LONG LONG time and the only Gray one was Branch...like maybe its because he was a impressionable child it stuck harder? but I have questions...

like they make a clear point that princess/queen Viva has strong similarities/paranoia to Branch but she also clearly hasn't lost her colors...is it because she was forcing herself to stay positive and be strong for the other trolls she was protecting? but what about Clay? he has bright hair but has his odd sad hut he was choosing as his room and is the one who seemed to be doing the fire exits and the like..and Viva seems way more traumatized....but they at least seemed to semi listen to him...

so is it a socialization things? like everyone in viva's kingdom still seemed on edge so Clay got to actually feel more listened to and included unlike how all of the trolls kind of brushd off all of branch's warnings due to his 'the red coats are coming' vibe and his dismissal of their choice to cope with trying to forget and move on?

Bruce/Spruce has the love of his life and his family with the muppets so still seemed pretty bright....but i'm definitly stll curious.

especially about John Dory...because he was the eldest child and he left but when he came back he literally thought EVERYONE had died...and he had no way to know if his other brothers were alive either. He seems to be pretty upbeat honestly with some similar vibes to Poppy...but he definitely seems duller...but we know branch turning grey definitely was connected to seeing the grandma die/be taken...but also since most of the trolls had to deal with the bergens they all must have lost someone at sometime to the Bergens but they weren't Grey....but if Branch turned Grey over the grandma...its hard to imagine John Dory NOT turning Grey afetr thinking every troll he knew was dead including grandma and bitty B and most probably his other brothers...

but did he get his colors back recently after hearing about branch and teh pop trolls after they were discovered in the second movie after complete isolation? or was it earlier due to taking care of his catterpillar bus?

like...I'm kindof curious about how they can adress the grey aspect.

though I am applauding the implication of them showing the hug time aspect isn't just for socialization and care...it seems to be a biological need as basically having all his energy sucked out/talent...floyd came back to life after they were all around him giving him a hug...it wasn't even a 'spray my talent on him to see of it would bring him back' thing...it was literally hugs that saved flyod which gets so interesting thinking about all the other hug times as well as the affects on branch who avoided hug times as much as possible when he turned grey...also...how come we don't really see the other genre's of trolls with the hug time braclets...

also was it just me or were the trolls using their hair less in the third movie?

[brunhielda]

Haveing one of those days where I’m not in pain but I am just all out of sorts. So what do I spend my Sunday doing?

Watching multiple versions of Treasure Island. Obviously.

First Treasure Planet, then Muppets, because again, most fun, obviously.

Although, side note: as someone who has seen more adaptations and read the book, Muppets might be one of the most faithful adaptions I’ve seen. Because Muppets- they value that good literature 📚👍

It is hitting me this time around that many of the adaptation changes in any media version have to do with culture, and what makes sense to the intended audience.

In the book:

Jim is like 12/13, maybe even younger.

Sure, his dad is dead, but it’s more of prerequisite to needing the income from going to sea than it is a a main character trait. It is not implied he needs a father figure. It is simply understood, in a British way, that men will influence him as a young man going off into the world to learn. There is a lot of comparing the different types of men he meets and deciding for himself what makes a man, but it is not about father figures, just observation and lessons along the way.

Jim never really trusts John. Even as he learns useful skills from him, he is cautious and wary, and as soon as they confirm John is a pirate, Jim’s attitude is very “I knew it!” And “Finally, here it is. Here we go.”

As soon as John is a pirate, he is evil. It is never implied he is anything better than the devil figure whispering charm in your ear. His one single redeeming quality is that he actually does like Jim. That doesn’t make him special. Jim is the youngest cabin boy and the ship mascot. Everyone likes Jim. The question remains- is this character willing to kill a child anyways? In the end John isn’t, and it’s a surprise. Him getting away at the end still has that feeling of the noted enemy getting away at the end of an episode of a super hero show- “Another day- Jim Hawkins!”

In any American adaptation:

We age Jim up. I will say, again, Muppets are more faithful here. Still, every adaptation makes it more ok for him to go to sea. Jim in Treasure Planet is a troubled teen who needs to prove himself. Jim in Muppets is an orphan with nothing to tie him to land. We as Americans don’t like the idea of a Mother sending her son to sea for months to earn income, so that’s not what happens.

A boy needs a father. In the US it is expected that a father teaches thier son all the things that make them a man. Boarding school is last resort rather than expected. So of COURSE Jim is taken in by John- he was missing a father in his life. It is a main character point of the story. The comparison of different men becomes more emotional than intellectual.

This shifts the tone of the story so much. Original book is very much “kid character off on an adventure.” He’s clever, thoughtful, and important to everyone. He gets himself into trouble, but he gets himself out of it, and saves the day multiple times- not just at the end to show growth. It’s personal fantasy for rambunctious little boys. But the family friendly versions written by Americans? The kid is a kid, and it’s about him learning to lean on the right adults and build self confidence. If he’s great right off the bat- where is the story? Well, the original story is a little boy proving to the adults he can do stuff, which is a completely different view of how growing up is supposed to work.

John is so much more sympathetic. You actively root for him to do the right thing and be a good man, despite his love of gold. In Treasure Planet he is mostly a scallywag, and he builds a real bond that makes you cry. In Muppets the ending feels like Jim has won over John’s worldview. You WANT him to be good.

Why? Because Americans have a much different relationship with pirates. Pirates won our wars and built our port towns. They were the first sparks of rebellion against the structure of the British society. They are freedom- in all its worst chaotic ways and best democratic equality ways.

Pirates are chaos- They are clever, disruptive, and write thier own rules. How your society relates to chaos will inform your view of pirates. Often in American story’s- Errol Flynn, Pirates of the Carribean, ect- they are the chaotic hero against the oppressive structure, akin to Robin Hood or Bug Bunny. We do love our conmen.

Meanwhile, British society is built on the idea that structure and bureaucracy keeps things running and people from falling to the wayside. Pirates cause battles and destroy innocent port towns. They disrupt trade routes and people go hungry.

Neither view is wrong, but focus on different aspects of a complex group of people of a very vast spectrum.

It is an interesting intellectual excercise to pull pirate depictions apart. 🧐 Perhaps someday I’ll have a whole thing on that.

I think what I get from this analysis of “Treasure Island” in general is that I want a TV show. Not because you get more info from the book, but because the book is very serial, with many smaller adventures, and you could get more of that feeling of the kid hero solving problems and proving themselves to everyone, while also possibly exploring some of the emotional aspects that we have come to expect out of John Silver and Jim’s relationship with him.

For a modern example- it’s why Percy Jackson works so much better as a show than a movie. Even if they had done the movie well, the show still would have been better, because the book is episodic like that.

A show could also actually portray the Doctor, Trelany, and the Captain the way they should be done. In the original book, they are a wonderful trio akin to Star Trek’s Bones, Spock and Kirk. Only imagine all of Kirk’s charm and daring with none of his brain in Trelany, the Doctor being later Spock with all his intelligence and warmth, and the Captain as a very practical, very firm, often grumpy Bones. Obviously the Doctor and the Captain spend far too much time reigning Trelany in 😂.

Like, I get why two out of three of these guys get squashed together into one character in adaptations- that’s a lot of characters for a movie. But a tv show could be really fun. And the fact that you have these three on one side, with John Silver on the other, as the angels and much louder more charming devil on Jim’s shoulders, fighting for his heart and mind, is amazing. Intrigueing. Dynamic.

The fact that evil can be one charming clever guy, while good is so difficult and complex it need three entirely different guys to portray it is one of the best parts of this story and it is NEVER explored in on screen adaptations.

Finally, it’s a minor note, but Ben coming out of nowhere would stop feeling disruptive. It’s just another episode with another aspect of this treasure hunt to focus on, not some random character out of nowhere. I did appreciate how the Muppets solved that. Picture in the Captain’s quarters and suddenly the appearance on “Ben” is cheered, lol.

Also- could I have a version, of any media, where it is blatant that the Pirates need this kid’s help because he can read? It is such a huge “learning to read is important” moment in literature, and I think I’ve seen it in like one version? Maybe? I think it’s in the Disney live action?

I really like the “Jim knows machines” from Treasure Planet, but it does steal that moment, and in the Muppets, who you think would run with this, it is more about his compass than his reading skills.

Reading lets you have adventures, both imaginative and literal, and I want that to be important in this story. It doesn’t need to be a big hokey moral lesson, but if it was just more obvious, kiddos would make that connection themselves. Sorry- Librarian bias here, but I want it back.

Anyways, I could do with a tv with different seasons just being different classical children’s literature. Most of them were serial, and would lend to that structure really well. We could explore more classical aspects of the story while keeping the bits we tacked on in later adaptations.

Could be fun 🤷🏻‍♀️

[nuttersincorporated]

Some of you have only watched The Muppet Christmas Carol, not read the original story and it shows. I LOVE The Muppet Christmas Carol! It is be far the best movie adaptation of A Christmas Carol but the original story is still superior.

Listen, you can’t compare Scrooge to modern CEOs. He was ALWAYS better than them, even at the start of the story where he’s a jerk. No, Scrooge did not need to see people happy at his death before he was willing to change.

Seriously, the story is public domain and not that long. There are free versions online to read and/or listen to.

The original story does a better job of showing how Scrooge became the man he was and how the Ghosts helped him change for the better.

In the book, young Scrooge was basically abandoned at school by his father, who was a cruel man. He was the only child left at school over Christmas, so never had the chance to celebrate it. He read fairy tales and dreamed of mythical characters.

When old Scrooge saw his younger self alone at Christmas, he thought about a boy who’d been carolling at his door earlier. He wished he’d been kinder to that child.

One year, his younger sister Fran (the one family member who ever truly loved and who he loved) came to pick him up. She said their father had changed for the better and he could come home. His younger self was overjoyed.

Scrooge used to love the Fezziwig Christmas Party. The Ghost of Christmas Past pointed out that it wasn’t a very expensive party but Scrooge said that wasn’t the point. It was kind and fun and… oh, suddenly he wished he could have a word with his own employee.

Scrooge used to love Bell but became more and more money focused so she left him.

When the Ghost of Christmas Present came along. Scrooge learned how wonderful Christmas could be. He saw people being kind, even though they gained nothing from it. He saw people in need and realised he had the power to help them. He had his own cruel words thrown back at him and realised how horrible they were.

When they went to Fred’s Christmas party, Scrooge had a wonderful time. He didn’t even take officen when – in the guessing game – Fred referred to him as an ‘unwanted animal’. He could tell it was all in fun and that Fred was serious when he said he really wished Scrooge would accept his invitation one of these days.

By the time the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come came along, Scrooge had already decided to become a better person.

Scrooge didn’t immediately make the connection between himself and the dead man everyone hated because he assumed that his future self was off somewhere else doing good deeds. He kept looking around for his future self, to see what good he was doing. It was only at the graveyard he realised this was what his future would have been if hadn’t already made the decision to change.

TL;DR the last ghost might be needed for modern CEOs. However, I doubt all three together would make a difference because they are worse than Scrooge. Also, while the last ghost reenforced things, Scrooge had already seen the error of his ways and decided to change.

[tragcdysewn]

@mvsicinthedvrk asked: for chunyu: do they prefer the overhead lights on in their house? or are they an ambient lighting/holiday lights around the house kinda person?

chunyu is absolutely a fairy lights kind of girl, and her bedroom overheads have probably never been turned on. the whole thing is lit by pastel colored fairy lights and nothing else.

@mvsicinthedvrk asked: for he chunyu: luo binghe: how have the people in your life shaped you? do you think they had good intentions when influencing you, or were they only out for themselves?

honestly, she's become a bit spoiled and naive as a result of people in her life influencing her, but i don't think that's the result of malicious intentions, and neither does she. she just has severe youngest child syndrome and doesn't really know how to handle someone arguing or disagreeing with her.

@mvsicinthedvrk asked: for chunyu: How many hobbies have they attempted to have over their lifetime? Is there a common theme?

quite a few, honestly, but they're all vaguely creative or artistic endeavors. she loves music and dancing, and has gotten pretty good at physical art as well, drawing and painting and embroidery. she's always leaned more into creativity over intellect, and spends a lot of her time doing those sorts of things. she's gotten pretty good at them, honestly, and enjoys it a lot.

@irresistiibles asked: sha hualing: are you confident in yourself? is this confidence baseless or have you proved your merit? do you take well to people not having the same confidence in yourself that you do? (for chunyu)

she's pretty confident in herself in most situations, and i think it's earned. she does well on a normal day, and is capable of taking care of herself. in disaster situations, she is absolutely the opposite, and has no confidence. she'll just lay down and give up. she's pretty stubborn, though, and is not a fan of people claiming she isn't capable when she knows she is. she'll one hundred percent fight back on that.

@mvsicinthedvrk asked: for he chunyu! what muppet does your character feel the strongest emotional connection to?

i took a quiz for it and got scooter which... a little oblivious but friendly and trying your best? yeah that tracks honestly.

@masqce asked: 2. how does your muse deal with loneliness or missing someone? ( for chunyu )

she's someone who will use whatever method possible to distract herself, keeping busy means she doesn’t really think about whoever it is she's missing. there's simply not enough room in her brain for both.

@mvsicinthedvrk asked: for chunyu: “unfortunately for you guys she’s got morals” - what is one inconsequential opinion (i.e. pineapple on pizza) your muse will never change their mind on? what is their argument when they stand their ground?

microwave popcorn is the best invention ever. argue with the wall. it's a great snack and it takes like two minutes to make with almost no clean up.

[spoke-n-languish]

There’s a Monster at the Bottom of this Swamp

In one of the happy little nooks hidden deep inside my feelings-hole, I still nurture warm, cute & fuzzy cherished memories of when I was just a young child, my mother reading stories with me. One of our favorites (or, mine at least, your patience duly noted, Momp!) was a Sesame Street book called “There’s a Monster at the End of This Book!” featuring one luvable, cute and cuddly blue-furry friend, Grover. If you’re not familiar with the story, the premise is that Grover is becomes terrified of the impending monster after reading the title, and then devoted himself to trying to prevent you, the reader, from turning pages thereby bringing ever-closer the encroaching doom. So he tries tying the pages down, boarding them down with nails, bricking them up a la Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Cask of Amontillado”, et cetera… only to be thwarted time and again as I, filled with the cherub-like glee and effervescence that only the true innocence of youth can muster, would barely be able to wait for mom to finish reading the pages before joyfully giggling would foil whatever fortifications the fearful muppet had constructed and flip the page to hear his lamentations on the following page — something along the lines of, “Don’t turn it, nooooo… Did you know you are very strong?” ~~~~~ Spoiler alert~~~~~ (To everyone’s relief, Grover’s most of all, the penultimate titular monster at the end is revealed to be none other than Grover himself, phew, “…and you were so scared!”) How I delighted, turning those pages the flapping them over as quickly and as forcefully as i was allowed in good prudence. (Again, a heartfelt thank you is owed for your love and patience, Mom!!) But, the memory has taken a bit more of a bittersweet taste of late as I reflect on my current state of affairs, by which of course I refer to this latest salvo of crisis I find myself trying to survive the navigation of. {Pardon me here as I segue tangentially into another metaphor as is my preferred wont, but I do promise to circle back around by the end.}

I think it was Stephen Covey who described crisis management as trying to paddle a leaking raft through a swamp full of hungry alligators. You can avail yourself with great purpose toward bailing water out of the boat to keep from sinking. You can use the oars to swat at the threatening gators and keep them at bay. But, unless you designate some of your time and energy into putting those oars in the water and paddling, you will never survive let alone make it back to shore and safety. This is how I have lived most of my adult life, except I feel like in addition to these distresses, my raft bears a lower birth in the water because in addition to myself, I am trying to ferry my loved ones safely across and so bear the (admittedly self-imposed) responsibility of ensuring their protection and (because I do love to challenge myself) happiness as we drift across. So, I find myself singing an uplifting tune to keep moral up, allowing any who would prefer to climb up onto my shoulders to remain dry while using one hand to bail water, one hand to fend off gators, and the other hand frantically trying to row. Okay, so I’m not sure how that math checks out, but it explains why I feel exhausted all the time. For the record, I have not lost anyone to alligators nor drowning. But, I have not yet made it out of this bleak morass either, and (un)fortunately (depending on perspective) I have l allowed passing boats to extricate my passengers — I told my conscience that it was better this way. They would have better and safer odds, and it seemed this would lighten my burden thereby making my struggle less and increasing my own chances as well. But the loss of their moving on not only lightened the raft but also served to displace the fervor with which I had been keeping occupied. It is difficult to muster my (fifty-) second wind. Now I feel heavier and move more slowly as apparently my spirit took flight with my charges. It almost seems like I no longer have a reason to continue the struggle (which is how I have come to view what others refer to as life). It is the way I have always been… I will fight like a honey badger with no care for fatigue or injury to protect those I love, but when it comes to myself, I have a harder fight just mustering the will to defend myself. I cannot express adequately how deeply I yearn - how the wanting aches throughout my body for this chapter to be over. It is the counterpoint yin to that bubbly yang I felt as a child, but the desire is the same. All I seek now is to turn the page; to finally put this most arduous chapter behind me and progress to the next act of my life… hopefully one with fewer catastrophes. One where I may find a chance to put my feet once more upon solid ground and catch my breath. This is my new hope. {See, I told you I would pull it back around for the tie-in!}

~ and as for the swamp, I never quit… so I guess I’ll walk out if I have to!

[pricescigar]

Yandere Platonic 141 HC's

Requested by: @emtynessinmyworld

Description: So , if you okay with it...What you think of Platonic Yandere "Ghost" Simon Riley? Or maybe even the whole TF-141?

(Why not do the whole team ;) )

No gender specified all for everyone to enjoy!

For those who don't know a platonic Yandere is; Someone who is absolutely obsessed with another person, harming anyone who gets in the way of the relationship, but the obsessed person constantly stresses about how they're just friends and it isn't a romantic relationship at all.

-

Cpt. Jonathan Price 🚬

"What the hell you talkin' about you muppet? Course I don't see them that way!" As he would always say.

Price isn't scared of relationships, and understands the commitment to it. But due to him being in the army, it becomes quite difficult of course.

But of course meeting you was different, almost like ... He became obsessed with you completely.

Price couldn't even explain the feeling— Even if he wanted to tell you, he just... He felt the need to protect you, from everyone in this cruel world.

He's never been the jealous man. Never, but seeing other men around you. The jealousy boils his blood to the core.

Hell he even punched and threatened his coworker once due to them flirting with you.

Ever since then, men have been avoided you. Because they all know that they'd have to face the wrath of Captain Price himself.

Despite all of that Price always reassures that you guys are just friends, just friends and nothing more.

Every second of the day he reassures that, all the time. Always will remain as friends, and nothing more... To save the professionalism.

Price always reassures that you're okay, and always stressing about you all the time. Especially when you go on missions with him and the team.

Overall he knows how strong you are, how you take care of yourself. You're pretty badass But still, Price always feels the need to protect you. Always.

Despite everything, he cares for you very much.

Lt. Simon "Ghost" Riley 💀

"Take one step closer to them, and I'll kill you."

The menacing Simon Riley to love someone? Never. The word "love" Scares him a little still.

Ghost is scared of commitment, and has major trust issues due to his upbringing, he always thought the world was against him. He had to fend for himself.

Ghost was so independent at a young age, he always believed at a young age that he didn't need anyone in his life.

He was scared to fall in love, to fall so hard for someone only for his heart to be broken? Ghost never wanted to go through that kind of pain again.

Which is why most of the time he ousted people away... Keeping them at a certain distance, he was hurting, his inner child and self needed to heal.

After joining the army, he slowly come to terms thst not everyone is out to get him, nor to inflict harm on him. Gradually, he finally felt peace.

After meeting you, a spark inflicted inside of him. What was that feeling? What was it?

Ghost couldn't explain how he felt, but he felt the undying need to protect you, to make sure you were safe, and no one would ever harm you!

Everyone was deathly scared of Ghost, after some mishap that had happened with a coworker, no one else glanced, talked or even be near you again.

They'd always see Ghost looking over you, watching everyone's move. Just to protect you.

Does he see you in a romantic way? Honestly no, not really. But his gut tells him that he wants to protect you till he dies himself.

He finally has someone, a person in his life to protect, to care for. With all feelings aside, he has something to protect.

And that, was something worth living for.

Sgt. Kyle "Gaz" Garrick 🧢

"No, you got it all wrong. Course I don't love them! Who told you that?"

He loved how funny, caring, amazing you was. Laughing at all of his jokes, being there... It was just beautiful.

The young Sargeant Garrick, it may not seem like it but he's extroverted and interactive. He loves meeting new people and getting to know one and another.

He's quite adventurous as well, trying new things that he came across. After all, you only live once, as he always said.

After meeting you, there was a different kind of excitement within him. One that he couldn't explain.

He didn't like it how others talked to you, how others would flirt, show off and trying to get close to you.

To others... They saw Gaz being all loved up, but Gaz saw it differently than others.

Gaz convicned himself that he was jealous and nothing more, trying to ignore his own feelings didn't help.

"Don't touch them you prick!"

No one had ever seen Gaz like that, but his conscience told him so. You were just so amazing... He had to protect you.

Was he going too far? No of course not, if it meant protecting you, to hell with it.

People had always questioned if Gaz truly loved you, nope, to his words he professed saying you two were just friends. Just friends, he would say repeated.

It was interesting to say the least to see the Sargent himself act like this, even those who known him for a while.

But as long as you were safe, that's all that matters.

Sgt. Johnny "Soap" MacTavish 🧼

"Haud yer wheesht! I don't love em'!"

The thought of a relationship never crossed his mind, well– He has a lot of things in his mind.

Soap is career driven, happy being in the military, playing football in his fretime and doodling alway in his sketchbook.

Still young as ever, full of energy, who in their right mind has time to fall in love?

He met you just after he passed selection, let's just say... You are the one thing, that's always in his mind.

Soap even drew you in his sketchbook, humming to himself and smiling wjrn he finished drawing. He fell hard for you.

Now, he couldn't exactly profess these feelings to you without being seen as a bloody weirdo, but the moment your attention wss taken away from him. Soap becomes jealous.

Oh how he hates it when your attention his taken away from him, how people hang around you, talking, gossiping, all of those things...

Soap didn't make it obvious though, although he got caught glaring at someone one. He quickly changed his attitude once he was caught out of line.

Why does he hate it when people talk to you? He couldn't understand, he can't to terms that he wants you. You, all to himself.

He absolutely hates it when people tease him about being all loved up. But that's how the others see it, don't they?

But he didn't love you. That was the thing, he had Ghost's undying desire to protect you, from everyone, to have your attention all on him.

Soap, the jelaous man in the Barracks, he hated being teased that way.

He drew the line where he said that he didn't love you, and that you two are just good friends. Wether they'd believe it or not.

Even to this day Soap is running by a small thread, so close to punching someone

[seedsofwinter]

All right let's test this with my top 10 favorites. You can click on the name of the artist to watch the YouTube video!

Christmas in Killarney, Bing Crosby version (circa 1951) - This one is about coming together on the holidays with people, especially in Killarney lol This is an Irish American song. It's just about what a great time Christmas will be (in Ireland).

Go Tell It On The Mountain, version by Jim Nabors (circa 1967) - So distinctly in "the birth of Christ shall usher in a new age and no man shall taste eternal death" category. This version is my fave, it's so upbeat, and Nabors has a lovely baritone I think would be?

Mele Kalikimaka by Bing Crosby & the Andrews Sisters (circa 1950) - yep, Bing's back already. This one distinctly is the opposite of "look, snow!" It is the antithesis of that one. Though I imagine it falls into that category of talking about the weather. So yeah, this one doesn't work. It is however about how nice Christmas will be this year (now in Hawaii). I'm starting to think that this is the secret 6th Christmas song type.

Dominick the Donkey, by Lou Monte (circa 1960) - When I was a kid I wasn't super into this song, but as I have grown up I have become so nostalgic for it and I unironically adore it and have chosen to listen to it around the holidays of my own volition. And with my housemate. It's just a silly little story about an Italian donkey who delivers the toys to the children. I have no idea where to put this one. Maybe what a good time everyone will have on Christmas because of this donkey, in Italy lol 😂 I am noticing a trend that for the most part I really like songs that are just about what a great time Christmas is going to be.

Mary's Boy Child / O My Lord, by Boney M (circa 1978) - Absolutely just about how man will live forevermore because of Christmas Day, it's right there in the lyrics. 😂👏 This one's a groovy disco number with some reggae beats.

Father Christmas, by The Kinks (circa 1977) - Yes this one is about We want shit. But they want money. They very specifically say leave all the toys to the little rich boys. And at one point they're talking about like "give my dad a job cuz he needs one; he's got lots of mouths to feed". The song is definitely about wanting shit but not about wanting *shit*.

It Feels Like Christmas, from The Muppet Christmas Carol (circa 1992) - I know it's from a movie but it's a necessary piece of Christmas, this song. And it's about how exciting Christmas is and loving people and having joy in your hearts, okay! Secret 6th type, going strong.

White Wine In The Sun by Tim Minchin (circa 2006) - Even though wine is specifically mentioned in the title, and I feel like someone would throw this into the "let's get shnackered" category, it's more about being soft about impending gathering on the holidays and nostalgia about it all. Makes me cry. Love it. And it fits into the 6th type of how nice Christmas is going to be.

Sometimes You Have To Work On Christmas by Harvey Danger (circa 2007) - I think I really have to stretch the definition of it, but this one would go under I want shit, and the wanting is to not work on Christmas next year. It is distinctly the opposite of my secret 6th type, being: How much Christmas is going to suck this year (bc of needing to work.)

Fairytale of New York, version by Katzenjammer, Ben Caplan, and The Trondheim Soloists (circa 2012) - This one is like... What a terrible time we're having and have had on Christmas, and ALSO we're so nostalgic about the good times we had, but even those are colored with anger and sadness by the poverty we've lived through until now. It starts by being in a drunk tank, so I feel like this is what happens after "let's get schnackered". (Special shout out to this version by Doc Hammer and Jackson Public as their Venture Bros' characters Dr Mrs the Monarch and The Mighty Monarch, circa 2007. JackHammer has done a Christmas song for most years during the VB run, and you can find them on that poster's page, Ken Plume. It's my fave show and they're all goofballs.)

So.

What have I learned?

No horny (for) Santa in my faves. And a lot of excited about how fun Christmas will be. Which is amazing and perfect bc I don't celebrate these days, and grew up in a really damaging household where it was the worst time of year: when you're stuck at home with your abusers. So I think I have a love of the idea that Christmas was or ever is a great time for Other People.

Thanks for joining me on this completely unnecessary journey to test a joke theory no one asked to have tested!

EDIT: I looked over the reblogs of this earlier post and saw that people had discussed what a terrible time Christmas will be. They called it something like "Christmas is coming but have you considered fuck that shit?" Fairytale of New York and Sometimes You Have To Work On Christmas definitely fit that!

Another category was I'm Going To Kill Santa Claus lol Which is great because I had absolutely forgotten about Weird Al's the Night Santa Went Crazy. It's a fun one but not my top 10, but if I'd considered it I would have realized it was another one and it didn't quite fit. They pointed out Grandma got run over by a reindeer would kind of fit that, I think it also fits into But Have You Considered Fuck That Shit?

And I am standing behind my category of How Exciting It Is That Christmas is Coming. Too many of my personal favorite songs only fit that category!

Which means we're up to like eight categories lol

[teafairywithabook]

Redacted Bois Favorite Winter Movies and Songs Pt 1 D(a)emon Edition

Wolf, Vamp and Humans in progress, but I am biased so this came first. Enjoy my winter ramblings

Gavin - 

Movie: The Hallmark channel goes on and does not go off. Is there a dog, snow and a broken down car? He’s into it. You've Got Mail? Please, if it’s cheesy and romantic he wants to cuddle up under a blanket and watch it.  He’s got a romantic heart and it comes out this time of year. Most times of year to be fair! 

  His favourite though? Love Actually. 

Song: Santa Baby. He will change a few words but the essence remains. He’s been an awful bad incubus and he wants his Deviant under the tree! You can bet he's going to sing it as seductively as he can. Can he sing? This boi was built to croon.  Bonus: But please imagine Gavin singing Baby It’s Cold Outside to Lasko as he tries desperately to leave and just turning into a small puddle.

 “Sorry Lasko, you’ll have to sing your line a little louder!” 

 Lasko mumbling “So really I’d better scurry..” but smiling.

Gavin grinning when he gets to croon “Beautiful, please don’t hurry…”  and Lasko hiding his head in his hands, blushing in the best way. 

Caelum - 

 Movie: Caelum will watch The Muppets Christmas Carol any time of year! An all-star cast, top songs, a good chunk quoted from the book, what more can you ask for? Oh yes, Rizzo the Rat! Caelum would love a pet rat and to call it Rizzo just because of this film.

Song: What? He has to chose? No no no he can narrow it down to a seasonal album…couple of albums…three maybe? He loves music! When his friends are singing, and putting up twinkling lights, and everything feels so good, how can he pick just one song? Not when there’s years of music to be had! If he tried to narrow it down, it would probably be Step Into Christmas by Elton John. Or maybe I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day? It used to be Last Christmas, but not since Freelancer has started throwing things at him for trying to play it much before the 23rd and he’s not sure why. 

Avior-

Movie: Avior isn’t exactly unfamiliar with holiday traditions, even if he hasn’t participated in them much for himself. He hasn’t watched a lot of holiday movies. The first year they were out of the trap, Starlight wanted to put up some lights and then settle down to watch a movie. Avior let them choose one and ended up sobbing. Properly ugly crying while Starlight has one arm over his shoulder, trying not to laugh. 

“Alright, alright! We won’t watch It’s A Wonderful Life again!”

It’s his favorite movie now. Shh. 

Song: Music is much more familiar territory for Avior. Music and emotion are inextricably linked. Walking around in winter while feeding on feelings of seasonal goodwill, listening to late night choirs had become something he looked forward to.  He always enjoyed listening to The Carol of the Bells. The fact that it’s beautiful arrangement is in a minor key and doesn’t sound like every other “cheerful” carol offsets the rest of the songs wonderfully. 

Camelopardalis-

Movie: Camelopardalis has a T.V. It doesn’t really go on much, but he has one. He tends to forget about it, honestly.  When Cam has the inclination to watch, he loves the classics. Miracle on 34th Street is right up there at the top. 

Song: Cam likes a little bit of everything. There’s no particular genre or artist he prefers, if he likes a song, he likes it. Having said that, he particularly likes musicals. And jazz. For wintery favorites, Cam likes I’ve Got My Love To Keep Me Warm, preferably by Billie Holiday. 

Vega -

Movie:  Vega loves the holidays. So much misery and loneliness this time of year. He’s not overly familiar with movies. One might be playing the background as he’s feeding, but he’s not taking much notice. If pressed, he’d probably go with Home Alone. Some rich ass goes away and manages to leave one of their numerous offspring at home? Not only that, but when various attempts are made to burgle the property, the child torments the intruders. Truly inventive and all of it very human. 

Song: One thing humans do well is music. Vega may not like most of Elegy, but if there is one thing that makes this dimension worth having to visit, it’s the music. You would probably think Vega appreciates classical, and you’d be right. If he gave it any thought, perhaps Cage's Winter Music might appeal. 20 seperate pages of music for up to 20 pianists, in any order so that it's different every time. Difficult to predict, but makes sense if you have all the pieces...

[popculturebuffet]

Monthly Muppets/Pirate Month: Muppet Treasure Island Review!: The Darkest and Most Tim Curry Muppet Film of All (Comission for Emma Fici)

Hello all ye swabs and welcome back to pirate month, my look at a bunch of pirate media as we sail out of summer, as well as Monthly Muppets, my monthly look at muppet media as comissoined by my good friend emma. 

Today’s film is one I did see as a kid but hardly remember as did my co-pilot for this one @jess-the-vampire. I dont’ remember hating it but I do remember drifting off, findng parts boring and only remembered cabin fever and part of Kermit and Piggy’s duet. Little Me was just ambvalient to it unlike say Problem Child , Heavyweights or  Little Rascals which conversely i’d watch on loop at my grandmas. Classics one and all that i’m bound to cover someday (Or sooner if you want to comission it, wink wink)

So it took me until the tender, innocent age of 30 to not only watch it again.. but to truly enjoy it. Dosen’t mean kids can’t, i’ve heard plenty of people loved and grew up with this one, i’ts just the weird ass path i’ve taken in life I suppose. On rewatch.. this film was excellent if not at all what I expected. I mean it is in ways; i’ts an adaptation of a classic british novel , done because Christmas Carol was a huge hit so the Muppet Crew wanted to keep going down this road, and as far as I could tell production went well. While Tim Curry wasn’t the first choice in mind, they also had the equally great casting of David Bowie and the baffling casting of Mic Jagger (who is a great musician but just dosen’t have Curry or Bowie’s Charisma), in mind, otherwise productoin went well and while the film didn’t do great in the box office, thus leading to muppets from space, the first film covered for this feature, it as should be clear did great on home video. 

What caught me off guard.. was the tone. See I forgot just how seriously Christmas Carol took things, essentially being an almost straight adaptation of the book but iwth some muppety jokes and the various muppet cast members dotted about and playing apporirate parts. Still fully muppety but far more serious than the usual madcap antics. Treasure Island takes that and runs with it, but while Christmas Carol’s darkness comes from the fairly dark subject matter, a bitter greedy old man, the things that he lost becoming this way and the horrible things to come for him and those around him should he stay th ecourse, this is an adventure story and being an adventure story written before censors stepped in for children.. it’s one shockingly paved in blood and something that the movie mostly stays very close to. The OPENING SCENE is a dead serious and wicked cool musical number, and as has been standard since Labyrinth i’ll get to those later on their own, about pirates, dead men telling no tales.. and that ends in Captain Flint MURDERING most of his crew to keep the treasure secret. We don’t see it but most muppet productions don’t open with cold blooded murder for pure greed, nor are most bits of mupet violence played dead seriously like this

And this isn’t a tonal clash: While there are PLENTY of jokes, and all time great ones for the muppets as a whole the story and it’s stakes are mostly played dead serious. And you’d THINK this wouldn’t work.. while the muppets can have truly good truly deep stories, see the 2011 movie, usualy their more in the line with personal drama when drama does crop up. The muppets usually don’t do big sweeping adventure stories. Yet.. it works pefectly. The jokes are spaced out well from the dramatic scenes and the action set pieces, so the transition isn’t jarring. For instance at one point Tim Curry’s Long John Silver valiantly holds back his traiterous crew to save Jim, our human lead more on him in a sec, we get some space to progress the plot more with Jim, and then we cut back to an all time great gag as his crew literally hand him a black spot (a black spot, aka the black death, was seen as a polite vacation certain doom. Full credit to jess for just casually knowing that) The film can be as madcap as a muppet film needs to be, with it’s all time best bit being the roll call

I saw this on tumblr years ago and it’s lived in my head with ME paying it rent for the pleasure of staying ever since.  One of the best muppet bits period and one of my personal faviorites. I mean you have this, yet it dosen’t detract from the story. 

Getting into the story so we have context, and because it makes it easier to get into some bits, the story follows Jim  Hawkins, a young lad played by the equally young at the time Kevin Bishop. He is incredibly good in the part despite his age, being a bit shouty (as child actors tend to be) but still earnest, heartwarming and when needed steadfast in his convictions. And i’m proud to say Bishop had a career after this, mostly tv but he IS the current voice of 2D of the Gorillaz, and that will never not be the highlight of anyones resume. 

Jim is an orphan, a slight change from the original where his parents both lived and his dad only died shortly into the story, but one that makes sense: it streamlines things and makes his close friendship with Gonzo and Rizzo, who are apparnetly also children? It’s Vauge, and both were SUPPOSED to be in jim’s part entirely, but the execs figured the two just didn’t fit for the emotoinal core of the story.. and were right. The two are amazing characters but they just don’t WORK as a wide eyed 12 year old boy. Granted that leave sme scratching my head why they didn’t just use robin, the actual child in the muppet troupe, but Bishop was great, so it worked out. 

Jim toils at an inn for a selfish boss who can always tell what anyone says “how does she do that”, listenting to the stories of Billy Bones played by Billy Connoly, who has pride at being the only person killed in a muppets film to die on screen. The landlady, Mrs. Bluvridge is played of course by british icon Jennefer Saunders. Always a delight to have her pop up in something. While most of the pub thinks bones is full of rum soaked barnacles, turns out he was righ tin the tale he tales, of being one of the only ones to know where Captain Flint’s treasure is via a map he stole. Naturally he gets beset by other pirates, and Jim and co barely escape thanks to Jennifer Saunders FIGHTING THE PIRATES OFF. God I love this job. 

They convince the son of a lord, played by Fozzy, and his assitants played by bunsen and beaker who naturally had a gunpowder mishap shortly before meeting our heroes, to fund a trip. Unfortunately the rich dimwit son trusts the tiny man in his finger to hire the crew

So while the captain is the utterly stalwart, kind and resonable Smolett, played by Kermit the frog here, and his first mate the stick in the mud who wants to commit attrocities in Smolett’s name only for Kermit to say

Or somethign like that, the rest of the boat is a wretched hive of scum and villiany, and to no ones shock are both the ones behind the attack on bones and the former crew of the traitorious captain, all lead by the MVP for the film, the man with the sexiest non-keith david voice in the world, the sexiest man to ever put on panty hose, and that’s a long list, and one of the coolest guys to ever live, Tim Curry, playing Captain John Silver. 

Curry is the best part of the film, and yes i’m aware it’s a film filled with the muppets at the top of their game. He’s the rare actor who upstages the fucking muppets, and he does so with gusto, playing the roll of Long John Silver to the hilt, and doing so better than I’ll wager anyone ever has. I could be wrong as i’ve barely seen any adaptations of treasure island, but I doubt I am. 

He plays Silver as smooth, charming, able to easily bond with young Jim and quickly taking the kid on as a surrogate son, genuine in his love for the boy and care for him. That said he’s also cunning, ruthless and when he goes full ham he goes FULL HAM, with a wonderful song we’ll get to later to show that off. He’s at the same time threatning and charming as all hell because i’ts tim curry, it’s what he was born for. He’s clever, ruthless, and cool, yet also can be funny as seen with  the black spot scene and his musical number, without ever breaking character. He plays off the muppets without missing a beat and the film would not be as good without him as it’s core. And that’s INCREDIBLY rare to say for a muppet movie, but it’s the truth; Tim Curry takes the film seriously when he needs to and has fun the whole time, and this is to this day one of his faviorite rolls and makes me even sadder he’s retired. He’s a swashbuckling badass bar none and the gold standard for pirates for me now on... well okay much like the gold standard for sexy voices it’s a tie but in fairness.. his competttion is VERY steep

So yeah Curry rocks as silver and rolls easily, with him and Kermit playing move for move. Kermit is also amazing in this, being a tough but fair captain, only taking jim’s map when it’s clear the danger of someone stealing it is too great and almost, ALMOST beating silver: after Jim overhears he’s behind the mutiny, Kermit plans to MOTHERFUCKING MAROON THEM FOR A YEAR. It only dose’nt work because silver, being tim curry, is one step ahead and takes jim. 

And Silvers relationship with Jim is another key part of the film, as the two geninely bond and the only thing you can trust about silver.. is that he cares for the boy. His attempt to make jim join them dosen’t seem born out of ego or neceisity, he could simply just toruture the boy into it or have his crewmates back on the ship bring someone as a hostage.. but he dosen’t. He wants Jim to join him because he wants his son back, gladly defends the boy and kills poor dead tom at gunpoint when that fails, and the final confrintation between the two is truly heartbreaking. We’ll get to that. Curry and Bishop play off each other wonderfully. 

For now though, our heroes thankfully sent a landing party of Steed, Gonzo and Rizo. Unforutnatley they run into the weakest part of this some wild pigs

Not you pal, but it IS nice to see you again. 

No it’s another stock “savage natives’ sterotype , who have made piggy, aka Benjamina, a CHOICE for a name instead of just calling her benni since she’s adapted from a male character. I am so fucking tired of running into this crap in my reviews. Like i’ts not just general racisim. I’ve seen plenty of that too. but this kind of stupid shit was in everything and i’m glad i’ts gone because this was irritating and Piggy really adds nothing to the film. She has a romance plot with Kermit.. and that’s about it. Their number as they hang off a cliff together is also a crime for the ears. 

So with that we cue the music for a second. And the music here is mostly really good.. but what isn’t grinds the movie to a halt. So let’s talk about them

The opening number, Shiver Me Timbers, is an omnious, forboding and perfectly mood setting piece, and easily the films second best number, with only one we’ll get to topping it. It woudlnt’ be out of place in any work with pirates and should be mandatory for pirate works but alas, not the world we live in. 

Something Better is a VERY boring, very typical “I WANT A BETTER LIFE BY GOSH BY GOLLY” number. It’s nowhere near the best in it’s genre and just wasted 2 minutes of my life instead of really adding anything. Could’ve been cut without any real issue. 

Sailing for Adventure on the other hand captures the spirit of adventure the other song was going for MUCH better as the crew of the hispanola sings their hearts out about the voyage and it is awesome. Flawless, no notes. 

Cabin Fever is the most fun song and a wacky number where all the muppets aboard not part of the plot bar fozzy and the ambigoiusly gay duo have a party have a ball. A true bit of fun. 

Professional Pirate is my faviorite. It’s also tim Curry’s main song and as should be clear anytime tim curry sings it’s fucking trancendant. Though we already knew that LONG before this movie

It should be also mandatory tim Curry sings this in every work he’ sin, but sadly not the world we live in once more. 

Love Led Us Here Blows. It’s a power ballad between kermit and piggy, and we’ve not only got better love ballads from both, but this one goes on for an enternity. The only entertainmetns is the weird cuts to the pirates findign the gold and partying, the best being the shot I used as the main one for the review: Tim Curry grinning ear to ear while making it rain. As bad as that song is, it gave us that and i’ll give it that. 

The final song is Love Power by Son of Bob Marley. It’s a generic Reggae Song and is only MARGINALLY better than Love Led Us Here. It dosen’t fit the film at all, feels horribly out of place and feels like the most “Stuido Mandate” thing i’ve seen since the Iluminati section of Multiverse of Madness

The climax to the film before that though is great as we get a full on action scene that works with the muppets.. and Sam, who was sent away on a dinghy but I forgot, who is THE ONLY verison of mr. arrow to surivive suprisingly enough, boogtey boogetys the pirates into fear and allows our heros to save the day. we also get kermit swordfighting tim curry and doing backflips

It’s the scene after that’s the real climax, as Silver attempts to sneak away with a few treasure chests.. only for Jim to confront him. It’s utterly heartbreaking, with Jim wondering why Silver did all this, and Silver admitting he can’t turn back, it’s too late for him.. but that his love for the boy, for his son.. was never in question. Both are clearly heartbroken.. but both have taken a path the other can’t follow; Jim has found a family who values his honesty and inegrity and Silver can’t be a part of it. The best he could do is stay and be executed.. so go he must as the two tensely stand off, Jim with a whistle, Silver with a pistol.. and Silver backs down, unable to hurt his son. Turly effecting stuff, especailly Kermit who was there.. and who says Jim did the right thing. Our heroes take off for wherever adventure takes them, Silver ends up with his boat sinking (an original additon though him somehow escaing is part of the story. Weird), and we’re out

As you can probably tell this film is awesome it’s only problems being love lift us up and the piggy subplot that feels tacked on just to get her into the movie. Seriously cutting that could help the film’s pacing amazingly and get rid of some good old 90′s racisim. Everyone wins. But otherwise.. this film is a masterwork, it’s rightfully loved and I recommend checking it out. As for where it ranks with the muppet films i’ve covered so far, well thanks to letterboxed instead of typing you, I can just SHOW ya

It sits at a comfy #3 as while having a weaker plot, I felt most wanted was slightly stronger, though both are pretty close in quality. 

Next Month: It’s time to hit the big apple as the muppets take manhattan! Will I like it better this time than I did first seeing it years ago?

But find out next month and thanks for reading. 

[killian-whump]

I’m sorry if I bother you, I’ve come for advice since I think you’ve dealed with this kind of stuff before. Since I was 11 years old I’ve been a fan of a cartoon character. He’s been my comfort character all my life. Back in the early 2000’s I had a fan page devoted to him. I attended a few cons where I met his Voice Actor and this character has been a very important part of my life. (1/6)

When I turned 21 I had a little picture of him tattoed in my arm. Few years ago I got a Twitter account for this character (since I don’t have the fan page anymore). All this time I’ve been posting pictures, quotes, little videos, merchandising, etc. I don’t interact with people or anything, I just post my stuff and continue with my life. I had around 1200 followers. (2/6)

About 10 days ago I noticed I had lost like 200 followers overnight. I thought it was strange but I didn’t really care because I’m not the kind of person who counts followers. Then I started to get hate messages, basically telling me that because I’m an adult, maintaining a Twitter account for a cartoon character was weird and it means I’m a pedophile. (3/6)

I’ve never talked to anyone, I guess they figured out I’m an adult since I always post stuff from the 90’s and all, but my account is clean and there’s nothing there to make anyone think I’m a creep or anything. Thing is, they have been attacking me for more than a week, I’ve lost almost 700 followers and I honestly don’t know what’s going on, where did this come from or what’s happening. (4/6)

The person I think started everything (because she’s the most vocal insulting me) is a teenager Egyptian-American girl I don’t even know. For now I’ve been ignoring everything, not a single comment, not a reply, just acting as if I hadn’t even noticed what’s going on. But it’s stressing me. I’ve thought about closing my account but I love it and also, I did nothing wrong and I don’t want to act guilty. (5/6)

Also, I don’t want to interact with teenagers or discuss with them. At this point I don’t know what to do and I’m very sad. My only “mistake” there is being an adult… but this cartoon character has been my comfort character since I was 11. How do you deal with stuff like this, with the haters and all? Any advice? Thank you so much! – The Cartoon Girl (6/6)

Hi Cartoon Girl ❤️ Let me first give you some hugs and tell you how very sorry I am that you're going through this. You're being bullied, and that's a terrible thing to go through no matter what age you are or what "reasons" the bullies have for picking on you.

As for your age... There's no age limit on fandom. And there's no age limit on cartoons. I've been a life-long fan of cartoons, and one of my favorite characters ever is Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls. For that matter, there's no age limit on loving children's media in general. I'm a big ol' Muppets fangirl, and I adore Sesame Street and all of the characters on it. I'm also a lover of picture books! I've liked cartoons and children's media for the first 40+ years of my life - I expect I'll continue liking 'em for the next 40+ as well 🙂

Ultimately, beyond the "growing pains" of childhood, puberty, and the teenage years, people don't really change all that much as they grow older. I'd say by about 20 or so, your core personality is mostly set. If you like playing video games or watching cartoons or reading comic books... Well, you're probably still going to enjoy those things at 30 and at 40 and at 50... and beyond. And I think most people past their 20s understand that, because they've seen it happen with themselves.

But younger people often live under this delusion that one day they'll magically "grow up" and cast aside their child-like interests and traits and become old. They'll suddenly live for cooking and cleaning and child-rearing, and they'll thrive in a 9-5 work environment of water cooler conversations and golf on the weekends. That doesn't happen. It's a fantasy. Nobody ever "grows up" that way. We just add candles on our birthday cakes and become fatter and grayer versions of the same person we were last year.

So I absolutely understand the frustrations of being an older person in fandom - hell, being an older person in general. Young people are almost like a different species at times, because they take everything so seriously but they understand so little about how life actually works. And, of course, you can't tell them this, because they're certain they know everything and old people could never understand them - despite the fact that every single one of us was young once and understands all too well just how ignorant and terrified we were then.

It's that ignorance and fear that drives a lot of the "hate" towards older people online and/or in fandom. Seeing older people who haven't "grown up" and grown out of "childish" interests like cartoons or video games goes against that magical belief that one day they too will "grow up" and become a thriving, successful adult. It means either there's something "wrong" with that adult online who's actively participating in "young people" activities... or maybe there isn't a magical "growing up" phenomenon and they're going to have to try to acclimate to "adult life" as the person they already are.

At any rate, that's no excuse for the kind of bullying you're experiencing. It sounds to me like someone is spearheading a targeted hate campaign against you specifically and claiming you're a predator. That goes FAR beyond the usual age-related fandom squabbles and generational drama. Unfortunately, there's not much I can say or do to help you with this situation. Bullies do what they do because they like doing it. Their actions make them feel powerful and in control; they beat down others to ease their own anxieties and avoid having to deal with their own weaknesses and troubles. You really can't reason with a bully, because their motivations are far deeper and much more twisted than most people can understand. All you can do is avoid them and ignore them.

Easier said than done, I know. Especially as the number of bullies seems to grow every year and the Internet gives them a particularly fertile playground to wreak havoc and multiply in.

The best way to avoid age-related bullying in fandom is to be 100% up front about your age. Post it clearly in your bio/about section (if you have one) and make no effort to hide it. I understand the impulse to avoid the topic and just "blend in" with everybody else - but that rarely ever works. AND it's the same tactic predators DO use when they try to blend in with younger people to seek out prey. To some extent, it's healthy for young people to be leery of older people in fandom spaces who aren't upfront about their age.

Being up front about your age is especially important in younger fandoms/areas where young people are more common. Will being open about your age decrease the pool of folks willing to interact with you? Undoubtedly yes - but every one of those people who won't interact with you due to your age would be uncomfortable if they had been interacting with you and then found out your age. You're not losing a follower/friend, you're just helping people who wouldn't want to interact with you KNOW not to interact with you.

In that sense, you really can't worry about the followers you've lost. If they followed you believing you're a young person and they UNfollow when they find out you're not - Well, those are people who shouldn't have clicked the "follow" button in the first place, and likely wouldn't have if you'd had your age publicly posted on your profile in plain sight. In other words, you can't lose a friend you never had. And if they don't even know how old you are and/or refuse to interact at all with people your age... Well, then they ain't no friend of yours. No harm, no foul - let 'em leave.

As for your account... There's settings you can make on Twitter to limit who can interact with your tweets. I'd make good use of them and shut down avenues of interaction that aren't necessary for how you use your account. Shut off replies. Shut off DMs. If you're not interacting with people anyway, this shouldn't really affect how you use the site. Liberally block anyone sending you hate, and make a concerted effort NOT to look at anything they're posting. I know, that's hard to do, but responding to bullies is almost always NOT the best course of action. It only feeds them and stresses you.

Really, the best (only) way to deal with haters is to ultimately not give a fuck about them. Do whatever you like, whatever makes you happy... and fuck anybody who doesn't like it 🤷‍♀️ Of course, there's caveats to that - you can't just go around hurting other people or making it difficult for others to do what they like and find their own happiness... but as long as you're not doing that, well, fuck the haters. Let 'em stew in their own bile until they choke on it. I'm just assuming that last part is what happens to them, as I've never actually cared enough about a hater to check back with any of them. I just roll on in my "fuck the police" mobile and assume karma or gravity or Jesus will take care of them eventually 🤷‍♀️

If all else fails, post memes.

[thegreymoon]

Monarch Industry

What a horrific death and she did nothing wrong.

Pure evil.

***

Zilong and Wanru are so dysfunctional all of a sudden. They were all lovey-dovey and he was faithful to her an episode ago, and now he’s mad she’s upset he has other women and is crying all the time because god forbid a woman not be up to entertaining him after giving birth to a sickly child she is not coping with. Also, it’s just so infuriating how she’s expected to not be jealous so that she can ‘set an example’ to other women in the country when their husbands take a dozen wives. Ick. 

***

Oh, are your newborn and your wife with PPD inconveniencing you? 

 Go fuck yourself with a cactus, you obnoxious douchecanoe. 

*** 

*facepalms forever*

He only barely cleared his name with the whole contraception debacle, and now Pang Gui is going to think he has a bunch of illegitimate children on the side 😑😑

***

Oh my God, Potato is going to try to kill Xiao Qi because of a shitty horoscope. I almost want to cheer for his muppet brother to overthrow him but, honestly, they can both go fuck themselves. They are both weak and ridiculous. 

***

I can’t wait to watch this backfire in all your stupid ungrateful faces. 

***

Just watch her go stirring shit up again 😫

I hate this woman. 

***

LMAO, I love that Awu immediately went to check for herself who these illegitimate children her husband supposedly has with another women are, like a normal person 🤣🤣

***

He looks absolutely splendid in this robe 🔥🔥

***

Yes! Smart man! Dump these useless royals, go back to Ningshuo with your wife and the stray kids you picked up and live a happy life!

I wish he would start talking to his wife before making major life decisions, though. 

***

Look, I am sure acupuncture is great and all, but come on now. 

But the things they’ve used it to treat so far include everything, from pedestrian unspecified illnesses, to old age, poisoning, fatal stabbing, obstructed labour, and now apparently death in childbirth too. 

One of these days we will wake up to an episode that goes like this:

“Doctor Shen! Help! My husband is dead!”

“Don’t worry, my child! I will try acupuncture! But it is a very risky procedure!”

“Doctor, we will risk anything!”

“Well, in that case...” 

*doctor Shen stabs his wrist with a needle*

*husband rises from the dead*

***

Wait, is she a double agent? FOR WHOM? 

***

He’s so beautiful 🖤

***

He’s become so cold and unbothered by the deaths of innocent people.

***

That’s right, sweetheart, you tell them!

Make them jealous, because each one of them has crap husbands. 

***

This woman is hilarious. 

She keeps trying to kill Awu and Xiao Qi, whom Awu loves more than the world, even after Awu was, by her own admission, the only one willing to step in front of her to save her life, only to turn around and complain how she treats her like a stranger now.

LIKE, LADY, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?? 

***

So cute 💛

[merpuccino]

Watched a Muppet Christmas Carol again this year and...

I just want to say the story of parents with a child they can barely afford health care for is still resonant even to this day and that’s... wow. 

So good job 90s Muppets and Charles Dickens?  But I also love the way Michael Caine played Scrooge. He really creates this character who is so malicious and cold but at the same time has a soft spot. He delivered on that performance. He bought in all the way.  I also want to notice the way that Scrooge totally changes his tone after the Ghost of Christmas present. This is especially important because the Ghost of Christmas present comes off as incredibly dumb at first, kind of loopy. But he uses humor to break the ice with Scrooge and they end up joking together. Finally, he treats Scrooge like a friend. (While being honest with him and not taking his shit) This makes such a profound difference for Scrooge.  The Ghost of Christmas past points out his mistakes which hurts because Scrooge is forced to face the mistakes he’s made. The Ghost of Christmas present functions like a balm for that hurt but he also shows Scrooge the reality of what IS - that if he doesn’t change his ways, not only has he hurt himself and his own life (losing the woman he loved) but he’s also going to hurt other people with his choices (Tiny Tim and Bob Cratchit).  The result is that when Scrooge encounters the Ghost of Christmas Future, he actually tries to empathize with the ghost, even expresses being willing to learn and be led.  The funny thing is I’ve found this reminds me of how I relate to students at times and what I recently realized. It sounds cliche when people say ‘relationship is important’ and that you have to establish a rapport with your students but the more I teach the more I realize how true that is.  More to the point, my recent epiphany was that I often just try to start class without stopping to actually chat with the kids first. I’ve noticed that more experienced teachers will kind of ‘hang out’ at the front of the class while kids do their bell work and chat with them. And that’s the important thing - the chatting.  You won’t need all these silly little ways of getting your students’ attention - hand clapping and stuff - if you actually just engage with them.  And it’s funny because I’ve learned this from working at Starbucks too. It sounds cliche and corporate but engaging with customers, chatting to them and being friendly, really does change the nature of the exchange. You go from just being a place people buy coffee to a place people feel at home. You become a part of their routine and they feel more special when you remember their name and how they like their drink.  It’s really the same with students. Like when I felt nervous about starting a new long term substitute teaching position, I just thought of my manager at Starbucks. She’s very hard working and efficient and she shows how she cares about people in the way she speaks to us. She’s respectful, she doesn’t use an accusing or demanding tone. She talks to us like our feelings matter to her. (Which makes her one of the best bosses I’ve ever had).  I started thinking ‘What would she do? How would she be a teacher? How would she talk to these kids?’ So when I approached the students about things, I just tried talking the way I thought she would. The result was that I actually felt better about teaching. Because I viewed these kids almost like adults in a working place rather than kids whose behavior I had to manage.  Though to be able to sit around during bellwork you have to have it together as a teacher and I think that’s the issue. I was often trying to do grading during class. Like I gave them something to work on and then focused on powering through grading. I think my mistake was that I wasn’t more of a presence in the class during my four weeks there. The times I did talk to the students and engage wtih them, I think it made it clear that I cared - and that is what motivates kids to do their work. If they feel like the teacher cares.  They can’t appreciate that you’re grading stuff - even if they complain about it not being graded ‘on time’ or ‘soon’ or whatever. But when you talk to them and ask them if they understand or what you can help them with it makes it more clear to them that you’re invested in their learning. If it looks like you’re ignoring them, they think ‘Well she doesn’t care so why should I?’