#Every year I see the take that Scrooge only changed when he saw the future | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

Text

Ducktales: Woo-oo! Review! or From the Top

Hello all you happy people! And to those of you just joining this blog, welcome I review ducks, other animated shows and comics... and today’s review is special for me. For a number of reasons. For starters it’s a reminder how far i’ve come. See I always wanted to be a reviewer, ever since high school when a friend showed me a certain online reviewer whose now dead to me, and opened me up to a world of much better reviewers who i’m still fans of to this day, and ones who came after them , and after that and so on and so on. I so badly wanted a community to belong to I struggled to be a youtube reviewer but frankly lacked the talent or self confidence back then to try, so my attempts over the decade were a series of stops and starts. Of me starting to find my niche writing only to stop because I hated myself so much, and still struggle with that, i’d tell myself I could never do it, I wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t funny enough and no one cared. I kept shutting myself down AGAIN AND AGAIN, for far too long.

But that all changed a year ago next month: I’d long been a fan of the Ducktales Reboot. I was caustiously optimistic when it was announced. The optimism came from a deep abiding love of scrooge as a character despite not having dove into his comics that deep, I didn’t have an easy way at the time, thanks to life and times and what comics I had read, and was excited to see a fresh reboot closer to the comics with my eternal boy Donald Duck back in the main character. The caution.. came from the fact that at the time we’d gotten a string of bad to medicore reboots: Teen Titans GO, Powerpuff Girl, and Ben 10 which started pretty meh but has turned into alirght from some of the later episodes I saw. I wanted to be hyped to all hell but I had no proof this wasn’t going to be another dumbed down reboot. Then comic con came, the first teaser poster dropped, and my skepticism died.

It was perfect: a barksian art style with it’s own twists! Donald full on display! And best of all the triplets FINALLY had not only unique outfits but personalities! I’ve long went on in my reviews about how much that annoyed me and while it worked for the barks comics ever since then it’s just felt like a waste to have three characters there.. and not even the SLIGHTEST difference.

My anticipation only grew with the full trailer, the promo posters as more and more info showed how good this series would be, how unique it’d be, and how much tw as taking what made the comics great, giving us a better distalation of that while still being very much it’s own beast. And once this episode dropped.. that faith was unfounded. Woo-oo! is without hyperbole, one of the best pilots i’ve seen, one that introduced the entire main cast perfectly, gets the series tone and mission statment out just right and in general set the stage for one of the best shows of the 2010′s (and 2020′s, even if it only lasted a year and some change). Wheras Teen Titans GO actively tried to take a dump on it’s source material, they thankfully have stopped that but it dosent’ make those early years any less grating, Ducktales was a breath of fresh air that honored the past while making i’ts own future. I tried talking about it but it was all in other failed attempts at reviewing: solo podcasts, my breif second video review career.. stuff no one rightly cared about and I just couldn’t get the hang of.

So this is where we loop back to last year: I decided to finally try and cover it one more time, not realizing this would be my last chance as it came out anyway, and since I was doing text reviews but my output had slid in the new year, I decided to review Season 3 as it came out. If it bottomed out I could always stop.... and I just never did. I kept going, eventually finding new fans, a patreon (The other one’s an old friend of mine), and not only got paid doing what I love.. but found some peace. I reviewed other shows as they came out, covered things i’d wanted to cover for years like life and times, scott pilgrim and x-men,. I covered other shows as they came out, found people willing to talk over my opinions and found my niche at long last.

So that’s why the long speech folks: After almost a year of reviewing i’m properly covering the start of something that made me happier than I had been in a long time and gave me hope during one of the worst periods of ALL our lives. Something i’ve wanted to cover since I finally got started last year, and something truly amazing. So i’d be honored if you’d join me under the cut as I talk about the genesis of one of the best series Disney has ever put out.

Behind the Scenes Stuff: Most details I could find were sparse. it took going back to the first month the show came out and looking at a LOT of unrelated questions to finally find out Frank and Matt outright pitched the show. This dosen’t suprise me as both are huge ducktales fans with Matt having drawn his own duck comics as a kid and Frank taking it an extra mile having sang the theme song in his first grade talent show, worked it into his vows and got his first daughter’s first word to be “Woo-oo”. It’s very clear this show as a labor of love for them something they dreamed of Disney made possible.

Otherwise I don’t have much on the genisis of the show: It was in the earliest ideas going to be a revivial but Frank and Matt both decided against it , deciding it’d be unfair to expect kids from 30 years after the original to know the source material, and instead just starting it over outright, which was the right call especailly with Alan Young’s passing.

Design wise I found quite a bit of concept art thanks to one website, and it’s incredibly intresting. This is why i’ve really gotten into art books: I like seeing this early stuff what characters used to be, figuring out or outright hearing from the creators mouths why they changed it that sort of thing.

Starting off we have some early designs for Donald, with him wearing the sailor suit as a kid but his Quackshot outfit as an adult, something I honestly wish they’d kept but get why they changed it: The iconic sailor suit both helps contrast him with della and fits his reluctance to adventure in season 1 more. I still wish that they worked the Quackshot outfit in somewhere, but they worked in so damn much, it’s hard to complain> Though I probably will make a list of “things I wished they’d worked” in at some point and i’d be lying inf I siad my mind wasn’t currently turning the gears to figure out how to work this into a fanfic. Oohhh maybe as Dewey’s outfit as an adult but blue, obviously.

Next we have Donald settled more into his final apperance as well as the boy’s first outfits. As you can tell from both of these the show originally went more with the classic art style before getting the one we’re familiar with now, one I love by the way and was made to combine a classic cartoon style with the visual of the comics. Donald originally had his classic outfit before they transitioned to the more barks style one, a good call.

The interesting bit though is obviously the boys original outfits which i’m honestly bummed didn’t make it for Huey and Louie, not so much Dewey minus the visor. I do get the changes though: The hoodie Dewey had fit WAY beter on Louie, and the lumberjack shirt didn’t quite fit the nerdier huey. Still look nice. Dewey’s is okay, but only the visor is something I really gregret them removing same with louie’s fedora. It would’ve been neat ot keep the hat thing, but have each hat be unique. Likely they simplified things to make animation easier and simply removed the hats for some reason, but it’s nice ot see these more detailed original drafts and it is VERY interesting to find that differentiating the triplets was something planned from the earliest concept art. Though given Matt and Frank said in interviews they wanted a more natural family feel, it’s not a huge surprise.

Scrooge like everyone BUT the boys thus far, naturally also had his original outfit at first, but like he ended up doing in the series rotated a bit, if not as much in the final product. We also see a protoype for his final design, the old coat but with a jacket over it in the last image. I also notice Donald seemed a lot more like his old comics self in the concept art with quackshot!donald.

Like everyone else, Webby and Launchapd were originally their 87 deisgns, though Launchpad’s slightly diffrent jacket and green scarf were changed from the start. Webby is the closest to her 87 design, and as shown in the previous Lena concept art from my “Spies Like Us and Dime after Dime” double feature, she still had her new personality. More on that in a bit.

Finally we have Flintheart, whose design is a bit diffrent from 87: He was a chub from day one it appears, though they’d exagerate it, and his beard was a bit longer at first like his other incarnations.

Beakly is largely unchanged form 87, only given a coat, which would gradually be mofidied, much liekt he boys into her current outfit.

As you can tell Beakly, Webby and Launchpad were all there from day one as they wanted them from the original ducktales just updated.

Production wise they wanted to go handrawn, chose the style they did to have something close to the comics that felt classicly aniamteda t the same time, I feel they succeeded and wanted a show that felt like the original. I do think this show has it’s own feel but it does feel ducktales. I badly hope for an artbook at some point though as this show probably hada LOT more intresting concept art. Seriously Disney I will PAY YOU to look at your neat art. Please.

So they created a fully formed world and put the characters in it, wanting it to feel like the world had existed before and had throughly been explored and letting our young heroes be the watson to Donald and Scrooge’s holmes.

Finally Della was indeed part of the initial pitch and a core idea from day one as every family has secrets and Della felt like one that had been lurking around the fringes of the story for 80 years. The rest of the production stuff i’ll weave in as we go but first one last stop, the STELLAR voice cast, none of whom outsideo f Tony i’ve talked about before sooooo...

The All Star Cast

The casting was outstanding here, with Matt admitting the cast brought a LOT to the characters, especially Ben Schwartz whose taken on Dewey was so unique and intresting they actually rewrote some of his dialouge for the pilot to fit this version better. This is far and away one of the best casts in western animation, most coming from comedy backgrounds and one or two coming from a voice acting background, but all bringing their absolute best. And since our main 8 are all in the pilot let’s run them down along with Keith Ferguson shall we?

Playing everyone’s faviorite billionare scotsman and one of the very few to ever do so, we have David Fucking Tennant. David was their “First and only choice” and for good reason: David is a talented actor with a MASSIVE amount of stage, tv and audio drama credits. His biggest and best known role is playing the 10th Doctor on Doctor Who, which while not my faviorite (That’d be matt smith, as he’s both the one I came in on and hte one who got me hooked) he’s still VERY close second and damn talented and I need to watch more of his tenure. Outside of that just to condense it to his ongoing roles on stuff and bigger roles: Filmwise he’s had starring roles in the Fright Night remake, You, Me and Him, Fish Without Bicycles and Bad Samartains, and is set to do a voice for the upcoming Loud House Movie, which excites me to no end.

TV wise where most of his roles have been he got his first big starring role on the Telly with the BBC Mini series Taking Over the Asylum in the late 90′s. He’d go on to make a career out of doing mini’s for a while, also taking part in He Knew He Was Right, The Quatermass Experiment Remake, Casanova, Secret Smile.. and Blackpool. I saved Blackpool for last before we move into the Who era as if you’ve never heard of it.. it’s REALY fucking weird. It’s a jukebox musical about a man who wants to make Blackpool, a real city, into the new vegas and Tennat plays a cop investigating a case around the guy and also trying to get with his wife because they used to date and because our lead is philandering jackass. That’s already kinda nuts.. but then you get to the fact the songs are sung OVER the original songs instead of making a new version of them. It’s surreal to be sure but if you can find it it’s worth it for the handful of good numbers and how weird it looks and you can find clips of the songs on youtube if your intrested. Here’s a starter.

youtube

Your also welcome. He’d go on to play Detective Alec Hardy in Broadchurch to critical aclaim as well as be a part of it’s short lived american remake, would play the Fugitoid in tmnt 2007, Kilgrave in Jessica Jones, one of his few post who roles i’ve seen or heard besides Scrooge and easily some of his best work he NAILS that purple bastard perfectly, would make his own show Staged about a fictional version of himself putting on a Stage play that’s still ongoing, and is currently , along with Ducktales as it wraps up, the voice of Lord Commander on Final Space, with the character returning this season judging by the trailers to fan delight and terror. He’s a VERY talented actor and voice actor and I do hope he goes on to do more and more voice work in years to come as, with his background in radio, he was born for it.

He was also born for this roll, playing Scrooge perfectly and easily matching Alan Young in quality, not a small feat and i’ts VERY obvious why he was their one and only choice.

Next up is another legend, Tony Anselmo who we’ve talked about before when I covered legend of the Three Cablleros: He’s been Donald’s voice since shortly before Ducktales, hasn’t done much else but given he’s THE voice for the character and this show let him show off one hell of a range with teh voice, he dosen’t really need other credits. The man is a treasure and I fear loosing him one day and fear for whoever replaces him as they have a LOT to live up to.

Getting into the triplets, we’re going by age so starting off we have Huey, voiced by Danny Pudi. Like most of this cast aside from Toks Ogladyve and Beck Bennet (Who I probably HAD seen on SNL but didn’t really know or look out for him on there till after Ducktales), I not only knew Danny but was a huge fan of his going in. This is due to his breakout role on the glorious sitcom Community, which sadly only had a handful of i’ts cast show up on this show. I mean you got Lin Manuel Miranda I’m sure Donald Glover would’ve said yes too. He grew up with Ducktales. Regardless his role as meta guy Abed was easily the best of the cast on that show, with Glover as troy a very close second and the two working at their best as a duo. Outside of that he’s had a few roles being a regular on Powerless, which I forgot existed and currently on Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet, and shockingly hasn’t done a ton of voice work. And given his performance as huey was one of the best parts of this show he REALLY, REALLY SHOULD. Please Danny. He’s also a loving husband, father and surprisingly a marathon runner. Never would’ve guessed.

Next up is SNL Alumn of 9 years, Bobby Monynihan. Bobby is naturally best known for that, my faviorite role of his being Ass Dan. That’s right bitch you know he’s going to live fore..

ASS DAN 1981-2021

He’ll be back. Outside of SNL he’s done a bunch of minor roles. He’s currently on the tragically mediocre sitcom Mr. Mayor, and voiced Panda on We Bare Bears. Hopefully he keeps up the good work as he deserves better than he’s gotten and Ducktales proves it.

Finally for the triplets we have a rising star in voice acting, Ben Schrwartz. At the time Ducktales launched, I was a fan of his from his roll on parks and Rec as Jen Ralphio, aka older scummier Dewey.

youtube

Outside of his historic recurring role here he played a main role on House of Lies, a show I need to go back to, and has done other live action rolls but has REALLY hit his stride in voice acting. He started with voicing Randy Cunningham in Randy Cunningham 9th grade ninja and since then has hit the ground running: He was Rutabega on Bojack, Josh on Bob’s Burgers, and went on to complete the trifecta of blue nostalgic characters after voicing dewey by voicing Leo in Rise of the TMNT (and having one of the most unique and intresting versions of the character to play) and reprised the roll for the upcoming film. And of course he hit it HUGE by playing Sonic in the suprsingly fantastic Sonic the Hedgehog movie, and will do so again for the sequel and might even take up the roll for the games now Roger Craig Smith has retired. We shall see. Point is this guy’s at the top of his game and Dewey is part of that. Like with his brothers I can’t picture anyone else playing him.

Rounding out the kids is Webby, played by the wonderous Kate Micucci. Kate is a lovely talented woman who mostly showed up in smaller parts, was part of the musical duo garfunkel and oates which even got their own tv show, and is currently a fairly prolific voice actor with this being her best known roll. I also had a bit of a crush on her once can you tell? Regardless besides absolutely nailing it as Webby she’s voiced Julie Kane in the crimnally short and even more crimnally not on Disney+ Motorcity, “Irma” in the 2012 TMNT cartoon, and the fact that “Irma” is in quotes should tell you how big a waste I felt it was having her NOT actually be Irma, despite Kate’s massive talent, the fact that Irma hadn’t been in anything since the 87 cartoon, and the fact that for added “Fuck you audience points” her krang form was voiced by Gilbert Godfried, who I love but whose casting feels like they wanted to make the twist as grating as possible. Good job there.

Anyways her second biggest voice gig was as Sadie on Steven Universe, which took WAY too long to show off her absolutely tremendous singing voice. She started voicing Velma Dinkley in the mid-2010′s and has since, voiced Milo’s sister Sarah on Milo Murphy’s Law, Dr. Fox on Unikitty, and most recently voiced a sentient present on close enough who did this.

So yeah quite the career and like Ben she probably has a long and storied career in Voice Acting ahead.

Next up is Beck Bennet as everyone’s friend Launchpad where he excels. He’s best known as a castmember on SNL outside of this, and shockingly hasn’t done a ton of voice work. The only other time i’ve caught him is in the same season of Close Enough as Luc, aka dude-bro satan. But like eveyrone else here who hasn’t done a lot of voice work so far or has been more selective I defintely hope he keeps going with it as he’s amazing. He and Ben will be co-starring on MODOK in May so i’m excited for that.

Last up for the main cast is Beakly, voiced by Toks Olagundoye, who I hadn’t heard of before this show and hasn’t done a lot outside of the two season sitcom the neighbors, the aliens one not the really terrible looking one, and a stint on Castle, but like everyone here deserves much more and if Beakly is any indication, really should stick with voice acting.

Last up is Keith Ferguson as only he could as FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD, whose a staple in the voice acting community ever since 2000, and has had a TON of roles some of which I was unaware with him. Given Frank worked with him on Wonder Over Yonder, where he voiced Lord Hater to perfection, the two clearly have a close working relationship. He also has a close working relationship with Wonder creator Craig McCracken and has worked on all of his post-powerpuff girls show, voicing Bloo as his first major role, something I never would’ve guessed, and currently voicing Papa G on Kid Cosmic.

Outside of Craig and Frank, he played both Karate Kid and Nemisis Kid on Legion of Super Heroes (Which really needs to come to HBO Max), Deputy Durland on Gravity Falls, and Thunderbolt Ross on Avengers Earth’s Mighteist Heroes. He’s damn good and deserves the world for Glomgold alone and i’m glad Craig rung him up again as so far through my watch of Kid Cosmic he’s great.

So with our cast in place, our past in place and you all likely ready to get on with it already let’s dive into the episode:

THE EPISODE: Part one Woo-Ooo!

We begin with a shot of a seagull flying overseagulls, a nice way to establish how this world works and how it bends expectations. They’d have to wait till season 3 to get a duck next to ducks but given that gag is one of the best of the series, it was worth it.

Inside a house boat we meet Donald, Huey and Louie and get a sense of their personalities: Donald is panicked trying to get to a job interview and insists the boys wear life vests, showing his overprotectiveness and responsibility exclusive to this version. Louie stresses that Donald wear a suit instead of his normal clothes to properly impress the interviewer, showing his skill at people reading and manipulation, and Huey is making a nice, if messy, breakfast with a heartwarming message showing his heart and dedication. After finding out said Babysitter was sent to the wrong address, the boys TRY to hustle him out to stay alone.. only for Dewey to blow the scheme by starting the boat too early, letting Donald know he’s been had. Huey’s attempt to lie about it is of course the classic “Who’s Dewey?” Dewey’s caught wiring the boat and Donald throws them in the car, with Donald livid and the boys upset as their chafing at his constant overprotectiveness.

Both sides aren’t wrong. tThe boys DID do something reckless, putting an old woman in the desert and risking their home just to go on a joyride. What they did was wrong.. but the boys AREN’T wrong for getting annoyed that he won’t let them DO anything and overly hovering over them when they CAN handle themselves as we’ll see. WE now know why: he lost their mother and his sister to her and scrooge’s recklesness. While he got therapy for his anger it’s clear he never properly got help about Della, and thus overcompensates by trying to keep what he has left of her alive. He means well.. but to them it comes off as him being manically overprotective with no good reason. They get into trouble because it’s the only way to DO anything away from him. He’s trying so hard not to loose them he almost has by the time hte series starts, and it’s telling that when they get context in Last Crash, they appricate him more from then on. They do love him, but their frustration is understandable even if what their doing is pretty damn stupid. But their also 10 and Donald’s the grown adult in therapy who should’ve dealt with this or tried to at least by now.

So with no other options Donald sets a course for McDuck manor which excites the boys who have heard of Scrooge McDuck and his exploits, each rattling off something they heard him do that fits their personality (Dewey picks him fighting a stone monster, Huey picks him uncovering a hoax and Louie picks his swimming in money. ) As Donald tries to get them to simmer down, they wonder what he’s up to

He’s up toooo.. depression. He’s in a room with his board, watching them with utter hate and sadness as they talk about cutting the invention and aviation departments. This scene plays ENTIRELY differently after the final two episodes of the season. Before it still plays well as Scrooge clearly resenting being stuck in a boring board meeting, having lost everything that made him him and just having lost his passion for life. Now? It plays as a man utterly disdainful of the men who made him give up on his daughter. While as far as he knows they did it to save his employees from his company collapsing, we know better now... and seriously where IS the rest of the board they just vanished after the Season 3 premiere.

I don’t mind only one being fleshed out, unlike the triplets we only NEED the one I mind that they just never explained it and still haven’t. Hopefully the finale will.

But back on the plot, it now plays as Scooge just full of hatred for them, knowing they had to do what they did, even if they weren’t emebzlling but still hating them and himself. He’s likely not even paying attention anymore because he just dosen’t CARE: he has all the money int he world.. and it couldn’t bring him his daughter back. As he sadly puts the coins he was fiddling with back and says see you tommorow he can’t even close the vault without a struggle. As we’ll see later the strength never left, it’s not like he stopped execrising.. but he has nothing left to fight for. Nothing left to care about. He could adventure agian so far.. but without Della or Donald, as we’d learn two seasons later the reason he enjoyed it again... what’s the point? He has nothing left except his money.

This is also a nice parallel to the final Chapter of LIfe and Times. I always felt the first half of woo-ooo was a spiritual adaptation of chapter 12 of that: Scrooge meets the boys for the first time and with their help, and Donalds in the story< Webby and Launchpad here, he regains his passion and more importantly his family after driving them away> The how is very different: he did in life and times due to sinking to his lowest point morally, then cruelly dismissing his family when they tried to welcome him home and bury the hatchet despite what he’d done. Here.. he made a HORRIBLE mistake, one that wasn’t entirely on him but still cost him everything and spent the decade instead of stewing or making more money trying desperately to undo it. The end result is the same, a dried out husk of a man with nothing left to loose and no will to gain anything.

This husk has launchpad though whose introduced as his driver and while good with subs and planes.. isn’t great on the road. After that though Donald pulls up hoping to drop the kids off before Scrooge arrives. Naturally this being a cartoon and Donald having tempted fate with that Scrooge shows up telling him to jettison that Jallopy at once. And finding out who it is, apart from asking how Donald is and Donald doing the same, dosen’t sway him. The boys however freak out after finding out Scrooge is Donald’s and there uncle, with my faivriote bit of that being Dewey exiting the car via a window and rolling across the roof back in. Amazing bit of animation. Wish I had a gif of that.

Donald makes the situation plane and angry and asks “Can you do that without LOOSING THEM”. And scrooge is so painfully disarmed by his reminder of his past mistakes and the fact his surrogate son still resents him, that he agrees before realizing “Shit I have to watch children now don’t I” as Donald drives off. As you probably guessed, this is another scene that plays differently in hindsight, if not by much: It still plays as two men too stubborn and bitter to reconcile.. but now we know the why behind both their rages it feels even sadder. They both lost the person they cared about most but as it sadly happens in real life both have dug in their heels to reconcile, both feeling their right when neither completely is. While Donald was right to be upset at scrooge and della for what happened, and is mostly taking it out on scrooge because he’s the one left... he’s held onto his anger for 10 years instead of going to help when he’s unemployed, living in a dilapidated houseboat and trying ot raise three children alone and could’ve used what help scrooge would give. Scrooge is right to be upset that Donald is just selectively ignoring everything he’s done to save Della, but is too stubborn and prideful to apologize for what he DID do wrong and feels that’s enough to make up for it when , while it is enough that donald should forgive him, still dosen’t mean he dosen’t have a lot to apologize for. Both are just too angry and too much alike, as much as it woudln’t seem so, to settle with each other and see too much of what they lost.

So the kids follow Scrooge.. who forgets to open the door, and Beakly lets them in. It’s a nice subtle bit. After some silence, Bentina TRIES to get her old friend and now employer to talk to them, but he naturally refuses and they do the talking, asking tons of questions.. and Dewey ends the conversation by accidently pressing the “imply he USED to be something rather than is something right now “ button

So Scrooge throws them in the twins old room, and Beakly gives them some marbles. You will give them b ack they will be counted. But another subtle touch I missed the first time is there... her sad look. She clearly doesn’t want to do this, but she has to play this carefully or else he might get mad and fire her on the spur of the moment. He’d obviously hire her back, where else is he going to get an ex spy who will both clean for him AND be his bodyguard and security. It’s a very small pool. Mostly because Beakly probably killed most of the other people who’d of fit that description during her spy days.

Scrooge meanwhile is still rattled by Dewey’s statment, wondering if he really is a “used to be” instead of a “never left”. The fire is starting to spark again.. he just needs more kindling. And more kin.

Meanwhile Louie and Huey marvel at Dewey’s “Brilliant’ breakout plan: hit the door knob with the sack of marbles til lit breaks. To be fair, they’ve known dewey as long as they’ve been alive and even by season 3 after he’s taken several levels in badass and cunning.. he still crashed a plane because his brother well-meaningly called him basic, and thought being nearly sacrificed the most times was an accomplishment. This is the best he could do and you all know it. It also works, so they can’t fault him for that... though he’s quickly kidnapped as are they. They wake up after the commerical break in a room with pure darkness, hung from the celing with a mystery person asking who they are and who they work for before Louie calls out for “uncle scrooge”... so she claps the lights back on and..

Well close. But it is Webby, who cuts them down, fangirls over meeting the nephews and asks who the evil triplet is. They all point to Louie who shrugs it off. I mean it was funny enough the first time but at this point I know he’s running several fradulent charites, almost all scamming his uncle. He’s earned that title. Webby puts them on the big board and then when asked they find out she’s Webby, her granny Beakly is housekeeper. She then asks the big questons “Are we friends now?” “If we say yes will you let us live?” “Ha good one new best friend”

She then explains she dosen’t get to leave or anything even eat a hamburger. The boys are moved by this and Louie asks what she does for fun. She leads them to the vents and while Huey and Louie are a bit relcutant, Dewey naturally goes first pointing out it’s better than the marble room. They agree and are on their way.

Okay unpinning that pin, the crew conciously updated Webby and Beakly as neither really had a lot of purpose in the original. It was also to conciously add more actiony females to the main family lineup, as both creators, both being fathers, preferred someone their daughters could look up to and would enjoy watching. Not someone perfect but someone intresting instead of someone who often got Kidnapped and whose main charactrisitcs were “Sweet and GIRL STEROTYPE” So cleverly they KEPT her being girly, having a skirt, liking ponies. .but also gave her all the training and skill of one Cassandra Cain, a sheltered background and an adorable personality that kept the sweetness but added her probably having killed a man at some point. It worked as Webby is one of the best parts of the show.

Likewise Beakly was upgraded from fuddy duddy housekeeper, to badass former secret agent whose also a housekeeper, and bodyguard and confidant to scrooge. Demonstrated by her talk with him as he tries to put on his diving suit and go after the jewel of atlantis, having spotted the signs to go after it in the paper.. and wanting to prove a child wrong. Beakly points out the flaws in this, and tries to get him to connect to his family. Having lost hers, it’s easy to see why.. though the how’s a mystery.. for now i’m guess. We’ll see in the finale. But she’s Scrooge’s concisence and the one who can easiest reign him in, to the point two episodes directly have our heroes have to NOT call her or else the plot was end, but have that worked into the plot so it works. She’s the calm in his storm and hte one person he needs more than anyone else even if he dosen’t always realize it. He calls family “nothing but trouble” just as Dewey passes overhead.

So naturally as Webby shows off Scrooge’s old treasures in a mysterious room, while the other Siblings are rightfully impressed, Dewey dismisses it as “fake” because he’s being a little shit, and they agree after seeing Donald, not knowing his reputation. The cutaway to him struggling with a stapler does not help> it’s only when Webby accidnetly uneleashes Captain Peghook, a vengeful ghost after scrooge, who gets his hand on a ghostly sword do they realize this time the monsters are real. Huey also accidently wakes up Manny, the headless manhorse!

Things somehow get WORSE as Scrooge finds them.. but is in no state to argue and as our heroes duck and Huey tries to divise a plan.. Scrooge get’s his spark back once agian.. it’s starting to become an ember now... and he charges in despite Dewey’s cries of “No come back your old!”. It then gets VERY badass Scrooge: Oi! Beastie! What's it gonna take to shuffle you off to the afterlife? Captain Peg-Hook: The head of Scrooge McDuck! Scrooge: [cracks his neck, flips his cane around to wield like a sword] Would you settle for his hat?

Now that is how you show how badass Scrooge is in a few lines and gestures. HE proceeds to take both out, as they’ve now teamed up, easily, tricking peghook into cutting off the head of a statue of him in the area, throwinng it at him and finsihing the ghosts buisnesss (”I should’ve been more specifiiiicccccc”) and then giving Manny the head, earning him a loyal employee for life. So our days saved, the kids have faith.. and Scrooge is still pissed. He also reveals this isn’t a treasure room but the garage in what’s easily the best gag of the first half, possibly the whole special but one iconic moment is very close in that one. Webby concedes what about the stack of old magazines or the hose or.. okay he’s probably right. He berates them only for the kids to fire back, pointing out he threw them in a room, they just wanted to spend time with him... but it’s only Dewey throwing his words back in his face that pisses him off. Scrooge bellows at them to get out, clearly having internalized everything with donald into rage and trying to justify pushing eveyrone away instead of working at it... but this dosen’t have time to actually work, nor would Beakly actually throw three children out on the curb, as he hits a mystic gong.. the third time it’s been hit. And after realizing it’s already been hit twice Scrooge is faced with Pixu, the gold hutning dragon! And guess who has a giant bin of it wanting to snack on? Scrooge naturally climbs on the thing and the kids naturally want to follow, with Webby getting her first development by proudly announcing “I’m going to eat a hamburger” then explains the metaphor. They just need a pilto.. and as Launchpad has been saying but I forgot to add in “I’m a pilot”

So we get a GORGEOUS bit of Scrooge riding the dragon over the city, getting banged up as he does before finally being thrown off.. only for the kids to catch him with the planes help and try and come up with a plan. Scrooge overcomes his anger at them not staying put, especailly since Webby brings up the right weakness: as a wise man once said...

So they need some.. like say the Medusa Gauntlet Scrooge had in the garage.. that Louie naturally stole. Huey and Webby eyeroll him but they have what they need.. and Huey brought the hose and quickly comes up with a plan, tying scrooge in, and swinging him to Pixu. The kids hold on tight, Dewey calls his family awesome and our heroes win the day as Scrooge turns the dragon to stone, slips and falls.. and then GRACEFULLY dives into hte bin, showing off his diving skills and his badassery. The day is saved, the gauntlet and the dragon go in the bin for safe keeping and Scrooge calls the kids trouble.. and chuckles fondly. “Curse me kilts how i’ve missed trouble”

He’s impressed: Huey’s quick thinking, Louie’s pickpocketing, Dewey’s drive, and Webby’s magical knowledge all saved them. For once. .he’s happy again. And for the second time in life it took his family to remind him why he does this and show him the true fun of adventure: Getting to share it with those he love. And he finally has people to love again. He has family back, kids who look up to him and want to learn from him again, a REASON to adventure. Money and treasure and eveyrthig couldn’t bring della back.. but he at least sees now that whiel they certianly couldn’t.. they can bring him closely with what he has left. She’s gone, for now.. but she left behind three great kids who could use a mentor and Beakly brought him a fourth. And he just found out he has a pilot. The ember.. is now a raging flame. Scrooge is back. Because i’ts not the money or the glory.. it’s the thrill of it, the discovery.. and the family that makes adventuring worth while and he’s learned that lesson again. So he calls Beakly to clear his schedule.. forgetting she you know PUT A FUCKING PIN INTHE WALL the last time he asked her to play scretary and the onlyr eason she dind’t drive over the choke him to death, is that she’s probably happy he’s back on track.

Back at the interview Donald is stapled to the wall and gets the job.. not as an accountant mind but his employer needs a sailor.. and his employer is FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD. Oh boy.

Part 2: Escape To/From Atlantis First the last bit of background I saved: Originally, Fenton and Gyro were supposed to show up here, starting a gag of Fenton showing up but not being named until “Beware the B.U.D.D.Y. System!”, setting up the sub. But the crew decided this took too much away from the focus on the duck family. The not naming him gag was also dropped, and I have two reasons why: Their given reason, which is it’d take up too much time and a logistical reason: While they gave a heartfelt pitch to Lin-Manuel Miranda, as frank wanted a strong Latino superhero to combat the lack of them on film, Frank and Matt probably thought they woudln’t get such a huge name or at least prepared for it.. and were delightfully suprised when Lin happily and tearfully agreed. So they likely scrapped it so they could properly promote the biggest name in their voice cast. Honestly it was for the best and they still go to do the idea with Drake in “The Duck Knight Returns!”, where it worked much better than it probably would have with Fenton.

We open with the Glomgold Industries Employee Training Video! Encourging IP Theft, making things cheaper and general scumbaggery, and claming your the world’s most beloved scottish billionare. IN short the perfect introduction to everyone’s favorite insane, fake-scottish, scheming, egotistical , short sighted billionaire. As i’ve made transparent before, I fucking love the reboot version of Glomgold and he’s easily one of my favorite parts of the reboot. They clearly needded to find a new place for Glomgold in the grand scheme of things as the show was more about globetrotting adventure and family and less about getting contracts or bets about whose bigger money and more about family. While they DID do a classic bet storyline with season 2, it’s clear the old glomgold was just a bit too stiff to properly fit into this new zanier and deeper universe.

So they instead remolded him as a half insane, knockoff scrooge, someone who PURPOSFULLY modeled himself after the guy to try and one up him, and instead of being a fairly low pitched schemer, was a bombastic idiot whose schemes were half baked, whose name was on everything he made, and whose only thing bigger than scrooge was his glorious ego. In short he was perfect for this series and perfect to show up way more often as a bumbling thorn in Scrooge’s side.. but one who COULD be effective in the right circumstances, as to not make him completely pointless. Keith was likewise the only person I could see in the roll now as with Hater he had a history of playing bombastic, egosticial morons, and made Glomgold into the enjoyable ball of ego, bombs, sharks and shouting we know and love. Some people didn’t take to this version after a while... I’m not one of those. I loved him here, I love him now, and he’s every bit as good in season 3 as he was at the start. He’s also wearing a kilt mcduck A KILT. A bit that’st STILL funny four years and 70 some episodes later.

So we meet Gabby McStabberson and the Smashnikovs as they and Donald file in, though Donald is busy wrapping up a call with Scrooge, who assures them he has a low key day planned.. while in the sub getting ready to go to atlantis. And nearly drowning when Dewey tells Launchpad to dive while he and Scrooge are still up top. Cue credits.

So on the sub we get our setup for the two main plots for the episode: While the main thrust of everything is Scrooge taking them to Atlantis, each leads to a diffrent plot. Louie talks to Donald and lies entirely about their day, worrying Webby.. who then reveals she just didn’t tell Beakly she took off or where she was going and encourages her to call and lie. To save time, i’m going to cover this subplot now minus the conclusion as it’s pretty simple and this review is already a day behind. Louie wants her to lie so she dosen’t worry, which is oddly sweet.. still a bit greasy, but it’s clear he means well and it shows in his own way the boy cares about Donald: Sure he’ll lie to the guy, and set up a fradulent charity to scam him.. but he also knows not to worry his dad-uncle and kows Donald is better off thinking their safe than knowing the truth. Granted it also prevents consequences for Louie.. but he’s not playing here here. He gets nothing out of Beakly not knowing the truth or helping some girl he just met, he’s just being NICE in his own twisty way. It’s a nice show of his depths: While louie will lie, cheat and steal Eddie Gurrero style, he does have a caring side underneath hit. He can read people well and while he primarily uses it to manipulate people, we’ll see time and time again that he can use it for good too and to help those he cares about. He’s nothing but supportive the whole plot, and even when he says “you can’t back that up” it’s more worrying about her and having a bit of crack than actually being a dick.

So Webby tries lying, but is about as good as Huey is at it, saying “I’m at a friends house nothing, then makes up a clearly fake name, then says their only talking in swedish for a grandpa. Launchpad DOES help, but only by accident and snake venom. We’ll get to that. As I said this wasn’t the most complex plot.

The main plot is our focus episode for dewey. In theory each of the kids was supposed to have one in the first five episodes: Dewey here, Webby in Daytrip of Doom, Louie in Great Dime Chase and Huey in Impossible Summit of Mt. Nevverest!. Given the last one was horribly delayed, he instead got Terror of the Terra Firmians, which in hindsight wasn’t the best spotlight episode for him. But it’s a good system; Introduce them all in the first half of the pilot then slowly focus on each one. So now Idoloizing Scrooge, Dewey is desperate to be his sidekick and be seen as an equal and is in deep denial as scrooge instead has them all buckle up for a 17 hour ride and when Dewey questions the route, which skips the direct path.. but is clearly marked with monsters, Scrooge just snaps at him and shuts him down and disapoints the boy who only wants to prove himself to Scrooge.

Naturally though, telling someone with that kind of need for attention and validation to wait goes poorly as he redirects the map while Launchapd is distracted.. and we find out WHY the trip is 17 hours as the direct route nearly gets them killed by mer-ducks, krakens and some sort of storm elemental. Dewey is bummed it didn’t work and annoyed to realize he’s just lumping them all together like Huey pointed out earlier. Huey is also delightful here, having brought travel bingo and sea shanties, clearly used to trips with his other uncle. And adorably taking after him.

But Dewey’s deversion has done more than make him even MORE determined to prove himself to Scrooge whose just trying to NOT loose the son of the daughter he lost...

The Merducks have taken up residence in the bathroom, so they have to make a pitstop. Scrooge, CLEARLY forgetting how to take a trip with children, wasn’t prepared for this but they find a frieghter and make a stop. Naturally it’s GLOMGOLD’S freighter, where his sub took off from, and he and his minons including Donald find Scrooge using the bathroom.. and the boys to Donald’s rage. Unfortunately saying ‘I’ll kill him” to a raging sociopath who takes that as a sign to kill ALL of them, isn’t a smart move.

So while Donald tries to plan to keep his family alive, said family arrives in Atlantis with a great bit of Scrooge trying to give a big speech only for them to see it first and ooh and ah. They touch down in the city.. which is flip turned upside down. Scrooge notes hti is odd but is able to read the hieroglypchs even upside downa nd notes there’s tones of deadly traps and that they shoudl stay back and..

Huey: Dewey ran in as soon as you said traps.

So while Scrooge tries to prevent dewey loosing his head, Donald prevents launchpad loosing his and makes up an excuse about “if their dead now we can’t tourture them later” to cover his ass. Glomgold is impressed. Dewey is Dewcipointed that the traps are upside down, though he does trigger some snakes that get launchpad. He’s fine just delirious. And possibly slowly dying but the fact he’s lived this long is a miracle. Maybe that’s why he’s missing for most of season 3 part 2, the snake venom caught up to him and drake and fenton need to find the cure. Anyways the rest of the party stays behind while Scrooge chases after Dewey, who naturally runs ahead AGAIN.

Donald ducks out to use the bathroom, as Dewey tries the old dance through the laser grid routine.. but forgets the part where your supposed to actually avoid it, leaving it to an unseen Donald to stop the fire traps from barbqueing his boy. IT’s a really awesome sequence that shows off Donald’s still got it even if he dosen’t want it. Scrooge naturally works smarter not harder and simply ziplines above like a badass and berates Dewey when he tells him he took “The easy way”

“Why would you want to take the hard way?” The argument that’s been brewing all episode bubbles up and once again both sides have a point: Scrooge rightfully points out Dewey’s being reckless, has no experince and needs to listen to Scrooge and learn something. Dewey claps back that Scrooge isn’t TEACHING them, just teling them to get behind him while he does things instead of trying to actively mentor them. He outright told them he was going to teach them so while Dewey’s been a wee bit overbearing, he’s right in being disappointed that Scrooge instead just wants them to be safe. I see it as his subconscious acting up: He wants and needs the kids along and is right ot keep them safe.. but is too scared to properly mentor them after what happened to Della and is just trying not to loose anybody. His methods have been right, to keep them safe.. he’s just been so determined to save them, he can’t properly TEACH them so he won’t have to forever or explain WHY. And given the First Adventure shows that while protective he did eventually let Della and Donald pull their weight.. but here he lost so much between adventures.. he just can’e bear loosing them. Dewey also rightfully points out he just lumps them together which in any other version wouldn’t be an issue, until the reboot I had no idea which one was which here? They have distinct outfits and personalities and you had 17 hours to actually get to know them. Probably less given the shortcut but still, several hours at a minimum. It’s things like this that make the series work: while there’s plenty of internal conflicts, at their best their nuanced ones, where if one character is clearly in the wrong they have a reason, and if both are right both are also a bit wrong, versus the original where it’d be scrooge or the boys grabbing the asshole ball at times (Not always mind you but when they did it was insufferable.

However they don’t have time to argue as the bridge goes out and Glomgold finds donald.. and another way around as a result and gets to the treasure first. Scrooge notices they have donald but once again Dewey charges in

“Unhand my uncle” “No” “Okay wasn’t prepared for that”

Naturally both sides are a bit livid, Donald for dragging his boys into danger after being part of the reason his sister is on the moon right now, and Scrooge for working with one of his greatest eneimies.. though Scrooge has less ground to stand on because as Donald points out “I can’t keep track of ALL of your sworn enemies” I mean he has lived like .. 200 years. That’s a long enemies list and Glomgold, while the most persistent, isn’t exactly the most dangerous they probably encountered. Given the guy’s an artist with Bombs and Sharks that does say a lot about how badass Scrooge is.. and how incompitent glomgold usually is. He’s just having an on day today I guess.

Glomgold naturally holds Donald hostage, takes what is suppsidley the jewel and leaves them to drown to death, hitting a wall to let it start leaking. HIs minons run into the rest of the heroes and a fight breaks out while naturally Donald, after even more naturally getting his ass stuck in a hole, literally, rails out at Scrooge for doing this telling him “I knew I couldn’t trust you and” “This is the spear of selene all over again”

Scrooge’s only response is “I was not responsible for the Spear of Selene!”

Dude you still paid for the rocket. While Della shoulders most of the blame, SHE choose to take an untested rocket, SHE choose not to come back during the turbulence YOU still built it and hid it from donald and didn’t make sure she couldn’t just take off in it. Your both to blame. And as I mentioned earlier to the least extent but still an extent, so was Donald telling his grown, adult sister whose as stubborn as she is what she could and couldn’t do. He had the right idea and was the only person trying to be an adult here in this situation.. but he still took the wrong approach with stopping her. Still he got far more ground to stand on than Scrooge, who also took his nephews out. Dewey stops both by pointing out that while yes Scrooge took them on an adventure he’s been doing NTOHING but keeping him safe and most of it was his fault which disarms donald a bit. Though Dewey is quickly distracted.. but for once by an obersvation: the gem glowing above thaem that glowed when they entered... and since the city got flipped turned upside down.. THAT’S the real jewel. Dewey asks Donald ot let it flood so they can get it and begs his uncle to trust him despite his doubts which he does. They get it and everyone’s okay and even more when they reunite with the others they find they’ve handily beaten them. To me this is where donalds walls go down a bit: he realizes he’s been smothering the kids, and that while he may hate his uncle for good reason... he’s not going to make the same mistake with them and while he lied.. Don probably realized if Scrooge had been honest Donald would never have let them go. He can trust him.. and he can trust his kids will be alright without him.

So Glomgold naturally leaves his minions to die, but our heroes manage to make it to the sub, and Gabby asks if they can bum a ride. Not wanting to do any murders they agree. On the surface Glomgold is showing off his jewel, only for Scrooge to upstage him second’s later with the real jewel, and point out his is “nice but defintly cursed”... and right on cue Glomgold gets dragged off with an octopus and let’s off his first “Curse you mcduck!”. Scrooge offers clean water and power thorugh it, for a price because of course he does, and has offically made his grand comeback.

We get back to Webby’s subplot, as she’s confronted by Beakly.. who naturally being a former spy easily figured it out immieditely but is only upset her grandaughter lied to her. And even at that she dosen’t raise her voice or anything about the matter, knowing it’d only make her feel worse and getting that her grandaughter needs to see the world and that much like donald, she walled her up to prevent loosing what little she had left. And since being with Scrooge is safe as with her, she can go with him anytime just tell her first kay? They hug. Awwww.

Donald likewise apologizes, admitting that whatever has passed, he misjudged his uncle here and while not forgiving him yet, is at least willing to let him back into his life and into the boys.. on holidays and stuff at least. But fate forces his hand.. or rather his 10 year old nephew-son having left the engine on and neither having turned it off, meaning his boat goes boom and is in no liveable condition. But Scrooge has the space in his heart and mansion for them.

So as we close the kids help move the artifacts all around the house instead of just the garage while Launchapd drops the boat. While clearing out Dewey notices the painting from earlier.. and finds part of it was flipped over...

“Mom?!”

Now keep in mind, while nowadays Della’s inclusion in the show is one of the most famous and treasured parts of the show.. back then this was a fucking shock. Disney never really cared about the boys mother and outside of one comics story never really went into what happened. So the fact she was not only an actual important part of the plot but we’d find out was a HUGE wham moment and left my jaw dropped after seeing the episode. Like I would with the finales I had read no spoilers and had no idea this was coming but damn was it a huge and welcome suprise and how far they’d take it and how much they’d flesh her out was an even bigger one. Easily one of the best big reveals i’ve ever seen. The only better one I can think of from this series itself... is the end of season 2. But that’s for another time.

Final Thoughts on Woo-Ooo!:

This two parter/hour long special.. is still one of the episodes best and easily one of the best pilots. It does slow down a bit in pacing in the second half, but otherwise is just an immaculate , beautiful pilot movie that introduces and fleshes out all 8 main characters, maybe Launchpad the least but enough to still work, gives us some big mysteries to work out, and even throws in Glomgold’s first apperance. It sets the tone, reverent and adventuerous but also with it’s own weird and wacky sense of humor and world building, and universe perfectly. I .. don’t have much else to say really it’s just THAT good and really worth checking out. If you somehow haven’t seen it go watch it and if you haven’t seen it in a while might be worth a rewatch before the finale. The absolutely perfect start to an amazing ride.

Next on the Della Arc: Dewey and Webby try to figure out where Della is while Louie learns a valuable life lesson and pisses off a killer robot along the way.

Next on the Blog: Amphibia Season 2 is back!

Until then if you liked this review follow for more and if you could please support me on patreon. Even a buck a month helps and juicy stretch goals give you na incentive to contirbute. We’re 5 bucks away from 20 dollars a month which means a review of super ducktales and a Darkwing Duck review EVERY. MONTH. So contribute now! Until the next rainbow it’s been a pleasure.

#ducktales #wooooo #woo-ooo #scrooge mcduck #webby vanderquack #donald duck #dewey duck #louie duck #huey duck #bentina beakley #launchpad mcquack #flintheart glomgold #della duck #disney channel #disney xd #disney plus #ducks

21 notes · View notes

writeyouin · 5 years ago

Note

The autobot human friend(animated) decides to sneak to the decepticon cave and give them a Christmas no matter what

TFA Reader Insert – Spreading Joy

A/N – Merry Holidays, two years late (So sorry, I was always bad at timing.)

Warnings – None.

Rating – T

“(Y/N), are you okay?” Optimus asked, frowning concernedly at you.

“Hm?” You blinked, noticing that he was staring at you. “Sorry Optimus, did you say something?”

“I asked if you wanted to help us decorate the base tonight for your holiday, Christmas, but you didn’t answer. So, is everything alright?”

You blushed at having been caught not paying attention, “Yes, sorry. I suppose I was just thinking about some things.”

“A shanix for your thoughts?”

“I was just wondering whether the holidays will see you fighting the Decepticons again, or if they’ll be quiet this year.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure everything will be just fine.”

“I suppose so. I just wish that Megatron could see the beauty of our planet, like you guys do.”

“Sorry (Y/N), but some things never change. Megatron is just one of those things. It’s nice that you’re hoping for a better future for the ‘Cons, but it’s better if you don’t waste your time tonight.”

“Sure,” You said, walking over to the group who were putting up the tree, though as you decorated, you couldn’t help thinking of Scrooge in from the Christmas Carol. Sure, he was only a fictional character, but he had been shown the way to change; maybe the Decepticons could be given that opportunity as-well.

As Christmas drew nearer, you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the Decepticons and the comparison to Scrooge you had accidentally made. Perhaps, if you could give them a real Christmas, they might find the beauty in your small planet after all.

Fortunately, you knew that Sari’s father, Professor Sumdac, had been working on a private plane that would make travel possible for anyone with a regular driving licence. It’s one flaw? It couldn’t be picked up on any radar thus far; hopefully that would count for Cybertronian radar as well.

“Thank you, Professor Sumdac,” You beamed, relieved that he was allowing you to test out his plane at your request. All you’d had to do was tell him that you wished to lend a hand with the toys for tots delivery and he had been putty in your hands.

“No problem (Y/N). I’m glad that it’s you requesting the test-run instead of the military. Toys for tots is a much better use for my inventions than a silly war.”

You grinned at that. At least it was true that you weren’t using the plane for a war; in fact, you were trying to end one.

After hauling various boxes of Christmas decorations into the plane, you took off, finding it more than easy to fly the simple machine. You plotted the coordinates to the Decepticon lair, hoping that there would be no way for Professor Sumdac to find out where you had gone when you returned the plane to him.

Although you felt that what you were doing the right thing to do, you couldn’t help feeling anxious that it was a silly pipe-dream. All the same, you tried calming your jittery nerves by humming the various Christmas songs you knew.

Finally, in the chorus of ‘Do they Know it’s Christmas,’ you spotted the Decepticon lair. You couldn’t see if anyone was outside because of the heavy snowfall blocking your view. You only hoped that the snow covered you as well in case anyone was out on patrol.

Landing among the cover of trees near the mines, you lugged out the boxes of decorations, glad that you’d had the foresight to bring a dolly to carry them; after all, it would speed things up and you were relying on speed so you didn’t run into any of your unwitting hosts.

“Alright Decepticons, get ready to be blasted with joy,” You whispered to yourself, taking your first tentative steps into the old mines.

Every step felt heavy with trepidation. You kept to the sides of the mines, often stopping to look around or listen for anyone coming. Only once did you fear that your heart might stop as Lugnut and Blitzwing walked right past you. Fortunately, Blitzwing was in his Random mood, tormenting Lugnut into a rage; the pair passed you, too deep in their argument to notice a stray human on the ground. Once they were gone, you remained where you were, too scared to move any further in case they came back.

After ten minutes or so, you finally left the safety of your shadowy corner to head further into the lair, stopping only when you reached the main cavern where the Decepticons clearly spent most of their time.

“Okay,” You breathed, when you sure that Blitzwing, Lugnut or Megatron weren’t anywhere nearby. “Time to get things moving.”

You had never decorated so fast in your life. Then again, you had never had the threat of being held hostage to motivate you. First, you set up an inflatable tree which was the only thing you could get to match the Decepticons size without help. While the electric pump slowly brought the tree to life you wrapped red and silver tinsel around the computer’s keyboard, adding colourful fairy lights afterwards.

Since the tree itself couldn’t hold any baubles, you hung them of various stalagmites, which you also sprayed with artificial snow. Everywhere you went, you made sure to throw some glitter around for good measure. Once you had placed some large stuffed toys of Santa, snowmen, and elves in various locations, you surveyed your work. Granted, it was still a mine and there was little you could do to make it homier, but you didn’t think it was a bad job, especially when you hung the Merry Christmas banner as high as you could near the entrance.

You were almost finished but you had one more box which was the most special of all. It had taken a lot of time, but you had made a tiny replica of each Decepticon and wrapped them up individually in paper the colour of each bot. Their names hung off them, printed in fancy cursive that you had to use a stencil to write.

As a last touch, you left two Christmas films that you hoped the Decepticons would watch. The first was the film that had inspired your miniature quest, A Christmas Carol. The second was a film you thought Icy and Blitzwing would enjoy a lot more, Die Hard.

Once everything was set up and in place, you snuck out of the Decepticon base, hoping that your stunt to make the Cybertronians love Earth would work.

Megatron was not amused by what he saw when he returned to the base. He wanted to punish his subordinates for their hijinks and order them to take down the infernal rubbish that had been placed around the base. Yet, as the pair sat in front of the computer, watching a human known only as John McClane battle it out on screen with the intellectually superior Hans Gruber, he revelled in the peace; at least the trashy Earth media was keeping them quiet for a while.

Like my work? Buy me a coffee and earn preview of the next fic, or commission me on the new commissions page.

#tf #tfa #transformers #transformers animated #maccadam #lugnut #blitzwing #megatron #optimus #christmas #reader insert #reader #fanfiction #fanfic #spreading joy #fyrestrike

131 notes · View notes

oveliagirlhaditright · 5 years ago

Text

For Valentine’s Day.

Sora and Kairi’s dates from the end of Re:Mind.

Change of Focus Sora had wanted to see fireworks with Kairi, ever since he'd seen them going on during a Struggle Tournament in Twilight Town. Those hadn't been particularly spectacular, however, as they’d just been pale white fireworks upon a light backdrop. But since they had been the first ones Sora had ever seen-right before he'd found Riku and Kairi at the World That Never Was—they held a special place in his heart. And so, the Keyblade wielder was thrilled that he was experiencing this with Kairi now (and Chirithy). Sora wanted to give Kairi everything he possibly could—as he’d realized after Kairi had said how excited she was about sailing, on that night long ago—before his time in this world was up... though he refused to think about that part of it, just yet. "This is so lovely, Sora!" Kairi chirped, as a dark purple firework lit up overhead, to make Kairi even more beautiful in Sora’s eyes. "Where did you even learn about fireworks… and get the idea to set them off here?" It was Sora who had set up the fireworks being used, when Kairi, Chirithy, and himself had first come to Disney Castle—when Sora and Kairi had decided that they wanted to go on a nice date, already, but also wanted to secretly check on their friends as they did so—Sora had found said explosives in Disney Castle, and had gotten them out in the hopes that his friends would set them off... And now they were. And as that fact made this the perfect experience for Kairi and himself in every way imaginable, Sora couldn't have felt more love in his heart now for both his girl and his friends. "I first saw them in Twilight Town, Kairi," Sora explained, as he took the love of his life’s hand in his own and selfishly found himself wishing that Chirithy wasn't with them, after all (if for just a moment), so he could maybe finally kiss her. But Sora let it go, as he lost himself in conversation as he always did. "And they were so cool, I became instantly addicted. Y’know? So I just had to show them to you! And I kinda figured King Mickey deserved ta see ‘em with Queen Minnie, too." And Sora scratched his cheek awkwardly, when he realized that he’d pretty much just compared Kairi and himself to the king and queen—and had admitted without really saying a thing about the matter, that they were dating—but when Kairi giggled, and leaned into Sora so that her head was on his shoulder and her arm around his waist—Sora decided all was right in the world. She then showed him a glowing stick she’d gotten from Merlin when he’d visited her in the Enchanted Forest. So, both him and Kairi were showing each other glowing lights… it made Sora happy to know this; and he rested his head atop her own in response. … Sora and Kairi weren't exactly acting like the… best surrogate parents to Chirithy, when they visited The Land of Departure again for the first time. Instead, the two had way too much fun playing on Terra, Ventus, and Aqua's training grounds. Sora splashed Kairi with water, the way that he had Rapunzel here… Kairi gracefully jumped through some loops while summoning water magic there (she was clearly taking a page out of Aqua’s book)… and then the two of them were rolling down a hill. And though Sora accidentally landed on top of Kairi—and they did gaze into each other’s eyes longingly for a second when it happened—they didn’t lock lips with each other, or anything, like that (that would have scarred Chirithy for life), but they did end up throwing grass at each other... and if Sora dreamed that maybe he could get some of it off of Kairi by using his mouth—what?! Grass was edible!—he kept it to himself. And it was when Kairi was pulling a shard of blue grass off of Sora's chin, with her lips parted, that he noticed it: Terra, Ventus, and Aqua were solemnly carrying their wayfinders with them towards a makeshift grave made for Master Eraqus. It was then that Sora and Kairi got up, stopped goofing off, and tried to usher Chirithy towards Ven. Sora in particular was doing this with words, as his little friend continued on trying to fight the natural order of friendship. "Come on, Chirithy. Friends help friends through moments of grief! You being there for Ven is exactly what he needs right now and will help him accept you again!" "Yes!" Kairi jumped on the bandwagon, as she nodded her head enthusiastically. "If you're kind to Ven, I'm sure he'll remember you! When Sora believed in me when I faced Xehanort, it reminded me of when he said I should pursue drawing when we were young: since I was better at art than him, in his eyes." For some reason, a slight blush had risen up to stain Kairi's cheeks as she’d said this; that somehow also made her freckles more visible to Sora than they usually were, and he couldn’t get over just how cute she was. And Sora could really appreciate it now, because Chirithy had listened to them and was back where he belonged. And. so Sora took one of Kairi's hands in his own. … "I'm more than okay with being in Twilight Town again, Sora. I want to check in on dear Hayner, Pence, and Olette—but if we're going to get ice cream while we're her... Do you mind if we try other flavors, too?" And after the amazing chocolate that he'd had in San Fransokyo with Big Hero Six, Sora could only say “yes”. He got where Kairi was coming from, after all. The part of him that was still Roxas was fighting this idea in his head tooth and nail... but after having had so much sea salt ice cream from Scrooge McDuck near a year ago, Sora was getting a bit sick of the blue treat himself. "Yes, Kairi. Anything you want!" Sora assured his girl, as he took her hand in his and she leaned against him. And they did do anything they wanted to do. Like, in traversing around Twilight Town, Sora and Kairi found something called "Dip 'n Dots", that was apparently the “ice cream of the future”—something Sora was hyped for, even despite the fact he didn’t have a future—and it was great! Though there was some confusion when Hayner, Pence, and Olette came to join them—and some ice cream fell out of Kairi's cup, and Olette thought they were beads from her bracelet and tried to grab them up—but other than that, it was one of Sora’s top five instances, for sure. And after Sora and Kairi bought Olette some gloves, to try and make her cold hands feel better, the couple finally got some sea salt ice cream (having had enough of vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and orange sherbet at this point), and headed up Twilight Town clock tower as far as they could. Sora wanted to “fly” with Kairi again, after all. And it was when the two of them were nibbling on their second bar of it—…so maybe they'd realized they liked sea salt ice cream more than they were earlier thinking. Stomach aches, be damned—that they noticed Roxas, Lea, Xion, Isa, Hayner, Pence, and Olette all sitting beneath them! "Do you think we should say anything?" Sora asked, cocking his head to the side: because as nice as Roxas, Axel, Xion, Isa, and the Twilight Town trio’s hangout was seeming right now, what if Hayner, Pence, and Olette remembered that Axel had kidnapped Kairi and needed them to step in to tell them everything was alright?! But Kairi was quick to convince Sora otherwise, as she placed a gentle hand on his own. "This is between all of them, Sora. Bridges need to be mended for them, the way they were for us with Riku. And in that way, it’ll be a more real and cherished memory for them that way, when all is said and done." …And Sora couldn’t help wondering if he’d have to find a way to mend bridges with Kairi, if he found a way to become corporeal again in the future and return to her… Probably. And there’d probably be quite a few fights before he could prove himself to her again. But Sora had always enjoyed Kairi’s fire, despite everything, and if he had to go through even that to stand by her side again, he gladly would. And for the first time ever, Sora’s lips found Kairi, as he pressed them to her rose red hair. ... "…Sora, why did you let me get so hung up on seeing the worlds with you?! We’ve both been remiss on helping Naminé!" Kairi exclaimed, pulling at her hair in an agitated manner, said suddenly to Sora, exited the station together. "…But why am I placing blame on you, Sora, when it’s really my fault? I just... got caught up with everything--and what you said to Chirithy about seeing new places with those you care about--and how there’s clearly something wrong with you and you won’t tell me why… but can we go to her Replica body now?” Sora certainly didn't have to be asked twice. He opened a Corridor of Light—something he’d recently learned from being connected to Terra—and pushed Kairi through it: his hand on her back lingering for just a moment, as he tried to use a cure to heal any scar she might have still have there, from… from- And Kairi must have noticed what Sora had done there, because she rocketed back towards him and kissed him on the cheek. And if her purity, and the feelings she made him feel, melted Sora into a pile goo and made him realize he could never tell her what was happening to him... well, that was his business and his alone, wasn’t it? … Sora and Kairi positively ran to Radiant Garden castle—wanting Naminé by their side again instantly—but it ended up being the waiting game, anyway, as Ansem, Ienzo, and Even had to set up the Replica body first. As so as Sora and Kairi waited, they alternated between running a hand through Naminé's hair here, or massaging her face with a thumb there, and playing paper games together as they waited. But eventually, the scientists came and joined the pair—telling Kairi they were ready for Naminé's heart—just when Sora began panicking. Thankfully, the Organization members decided to leave Sora when he began to second-guess himself, so they’d be able to say they hadn’t witnessed him lacking tact at all. "Kairi..." Sora began, hanging his head—as memories of when Xehanort had separated them all heart from body came to mind --"I don't know about this. I don’t want to risk hurting your heart!" But Kairi, as she so often did, knew exactly what Sora needed—and put her hand over his heart, as she looked at him with pure unadulterated love and trust. "But Sora, it has to be you since you care as much about Naminé as I do." And when Kairi put it like that, there was no way to deny what needed to be done. Was there? More and more memories of Naminé from Castle Oblivion were coming back to Sora now, and he’d do anything to put a smile on that face again. And as for Kairi… well, there were no words to describe just how good she was and what she meant to him. He would die before he ever harmed her. And so Sora would do this, and make sure nothing happened to Kairi or Naminé, because he loved them both, wouldn’t he? …Besides, the way Kairi wanted him to do something as intimate as freeing her heart, and perhaps cradling it in his hands,, spoke of other intimate bonds she'd maybe want them to have in the future... someday. And since Sora was her first love, he didn’t want to break this kind of trust in her or him so easily. So, Sora ushered the scientists even further away from them—because he and Kairi had done everything else alone in the worlds they’d visited, thus far; And Sora at least wanted to pretend that it had been the same way here—and felt for two hearts that were nearly one, and smiled when he was rewarded with then was light. …And that while they were leaving, that light appeared to find something worthwhile with the dawn. ... It had been no question to Sora that he would take Kairi home when everything was said and done. He had promised her she could always come back to this place, hadn't he? And he was determined to keep his oaths to Kairi now. And Sora also recalled how he'd told his friends both he and Kairi would come back here safe, before they knew it. And he would keep that promise, too. The lovers sat on the paopu tree together—where their destinies had first become one—and while Sora could sense his friends behind them and internally marveled at their joy, his real focus was on Kairi's beauty. And Sora held Kairi’s hand in his, tighter than he ever had, as he felt himself begin to fade away. And as he did, he had to try and reassure her some, via with the truest words he'd ever uttered, and close his eyes against the tear Kairi cried, that he had never wanted to see, Before Sora was fully gone, he heard a lovely "You're not getting off that easily" from Kairi. And next thing he knew, he was catching Kairi’s tear in the hand that had held hers last… and he was alive and whole again.

#sokai #fanfiction #mine #my work #Shanna writes #my writing #kaiora

28 notes · View notes

the-redhead-who-writes · 5 years ago

Text

The Nutcracker Prince and the Devil Mouse

A re-telling of the classic ballet has Mika Anderson receiving a set of exquisite soldiers and a handcrafted Nutcracker for Christmas from her Grandfather Drosselmeyer. But with her joy comes uncertainty when an unexpected announcement from her Father and the sudden appearance of a frightful villain threatens to shatter everything she knows. Amidst the darkness, Mika will find love and an inner strength she'd never before known. Along with the magic of Christmas and the help of her friends, both old and new, will it be enough to save the holidays and her future?

Happy Holidays dorks! This story has been in the works for nearly a year now when I woke up in a cold sweat one night in the middle of last January and thought: "What if Harold Anderson was more like Uncle Drosselmeyer from the Nutcracker?"

So, I present to you a fanfiction to spread a little festive cheer to both veteran and new Seduce Me fans alike. The plan is to have the whole story up before February, but you know me and my time management skills; I promise to do my best though!

This fanfic is also specially dedicated to my best friend and beta @the-sassy-sister. Thank you for being with me through thick and thin!

And now, without further ado, please enjoy my take on a holiday classic!

Links: AO3

Mika imagined that most girls her age would be excited about their family’s annual Christmas party. Her Mother certainly was; she’d been running around for days arranging the necessary preparations: polishing the silverware, scrubbing the floors. Ensuring everything would be just perfect.

Mika struggled to see the point.

Not that she considered herself a Scrooge by any means. She really did love the holidays and everything that came with them: the house smelling of delicious food being prepared; the beautiful decorations that glittered over every inch of the house; and, of course, the time spent with friends and loved ones.

But when the ‘friends and loved ones’ were powerful execs and stuffy, influential board members, it was hard to feel merry.

The party was dragging by at a snail’s pace, and Mika’s cheeks ached from the smile she’d kept plastered on her face for the last three hours. She supposed she should be used to it by now; her father held the same lavish affair every year. And every year, she was expected to stand around, look pretty and repeat the usual lines.

Thank you for coming. We’re so glad to have you here. Why yes, I am doing well in my studies. Please, try the fruitcake.

She sighed, rolling her neck to ease the tense muscles in her shoulders. Her position as a greeter at the front door had long since finished, as the party was well underway and all of the A-list guests had arrived. But Mika wasn’t waiting on any of them.

Anticipation had her fingers drumming on the staircase railing, keeping in time with the ticking antique grandfather clock in the adjacent living room. Slipping away during speeches would probably earn her a lecture from her Father at the end of the night, but right now, she couldn’t bring herself to care.

“Any sign of him?”

Mika turned her head from the door to see Naomi exiting the kitchen, holding a glass of punch. Suzu followed after her, grinning toothily behind her plate of precariously stacked baked goods.

Mika smiled wearily, accepting the drink from Naomi. “No, not yet. He should be here soon, though.”

The soft-spoken girl nodded, while Suzu snorted, moving to sit next to Mika on the bottom step. “Your Granddad sure does like to make an entrance.”

Mika followed suit, sitting down with a chuckle.

Harold Anderson, the eccentric toymaker and famed CEO of Anderson Toys.

He’d amassed quite the legacy over the years; travelling to every corner of the globe and creating the most exquisite toys the world had ever seen. His products were a household name around birthdays and Christmas, and he was regarded as one of the highest-ranking businessmen in North America.

Multi-national corporation aside, he was also known for his kind heart and regular charity donations; he had more than a handful of schools and playgrounds named after him. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that thousands of lives had been changed thanks to his generosity.

But to Mika, he was simply Grandfather Drosselmeyer.

She couldn’t recall where the moniker had come from, most likely stemming from his many travels - travels which he would spin for her in hundreds of elaborate stories. As a child, she’d sit and listen to him for hours as he described the magic behind his latest adventure while he tinkered on one of his brilliant contraptions. And when she discovered her love of ballet, he’d bought Mika her first pair of dancing slippers and never missed a concert.

Nowadays, she was just grateful to hear from him.

Her Father wasn’t shy about his distaste for the unconventional methods in which the patriarch of Anderson Toys ran his company, along with his “childish” views on business. So as the years went by, Mika saw less and less of her Grandfather. He still held the reins on the company, of course, but chose to handle most of his work abroad to appease his son. That left Mika relying on word of mouth or social media to keep track of him.

The exceptions were the holidays, where he would arrive with exquisite gifts and handmade toys for his employees. How she treasured those moments: they made her Father’s parties bearable.

“Whaddya think he’ll have this time?” Suzu asked, words muffled by the cookie she’d stuffed in her mouth.

Mika shrugged, gaze back on the door as she took a sip of her punch. “Who knows? He’s been really quiet this year. Last I heard he was visiting Moscow.”

Naomi excitedly clapped her hands together, cooing. “Ooh, maybe he’ll bring you a set of cute little Russian nesting dolls!”

Suzu rolled her eyes. “Those things are creepy as hell, Naomi. What about one of the model airplanes he said he was working on-?” She paused, taking a massive bite of a brownie. “Nah tha wud be cul.”

Naomi made a sound of disgust as Suzu smirked, teeth smeared with chocolate, and Mika grinned behind her glass.

“Mika!”

The sharp, cold voice had the young woman in question nearly choking on her drink. She lurched to her feet, turning around to see her Father straightening his already pristine tie as he approached from down the hall.

“Yes, Father?” she quickly replied, placing her cup down on the step and folding her hands timidly.

“You’re needed in the dining room,” the man said curtly, eyeing her friends. Naomi twisted a piece of her hair, looking at the floor; Suzu hastily swallowed her mouthful of brownie.

Mika blanched. “R-right now?” she stammered, “But, I-I’m waiting for-”

“Yes, I’m well aware of what you’re doing,” he sneered, casting a dismissive glance at the door. “But as usual, my Father is late. And this is vitally important. My speech is about to begin.”

Her Father glared down at her, arms folded tightly across his chest. His lips were pulled into a thin, impatient frown, and Mika swallowed, squeezing her hands.

“I understand Father, but could I have just another few minutes? It would be impolite to leave Grandfather Dross-“ Mika backpedalled, watching her Father’s eyes narrow at the nickname. “...To leave Grandfather to let himself in.”

A scoff. “My Father can’t be bothered with etiquette, so why should we pay him the same kindness?”

Hearing the word 'kindness' out of her Father’s mouth was as foreign as “I love you.” Mika’s lips almost twitched.

Almost.

“Now, hurry up. Our guests are waiting.”

His tone left no room for argument, and with the very real threat of an open shouting match in front of her friends hanging in the air, Mika faltered.

Resigned, she nodded complacently. “Yes, Father. Of course,” Mika murmured.

She then turned to Naomi and Suzu, who were watching her with small, sympathetic smiles.

“Let me know when he arrives?”she asked.

Suzu grinned, shooting her a thumbs-up. “You got it, Chika.”

It was at that moment the front doors blew open, sending a gust of winter air spilling into the foyer. The snow that carried in sparkled as it swirled around them, glittering under the chandelier light.

Mika winced against the bite of the cold, shielding her eyes as her hair whipped her face.

“When who arrives, sweetie?”

Mika’s heart lurched at the familiar, jolly voice, and she hurried to blink the spots from her vision as the heavy doors thudded closed.

His cheeks and nose were bitten red with the cold, but warmth shone in the forest green eyes that were a shade darker than her own; their only resemblance.

He reached up to tip his top hat politely. “I’m sorry, my dear. Did I keep you waiting?”

Standing under the light of the winter moon, he beamed at Mika from under the brim with such love that her eyes pricked with tears.

Her Grandfather Drosselmeyer.

Mika’s face split into the first genuine smile of the night. Forgetting all proprieties, she ran to embrace him, burying her face in the heavy, woollen material of his worn travelling cloak.

His arms came up to return the hug, squeezing her tightly and resting his chin on the top of her head.

“Even taller this year, I see,” the old man chuckled, and Mika grinned.

“You’re just shrinking,” she shot back playfully, looking up to see her Grandfather’s eye - the one not concealed under his eyepatch - crinkle with mirth at her usual retort.

He’d never told her what had happened.

Years ago, Harold Anderson returned home from one of his long trips with the right side of his face bandaged painfully tight. He’d soothed Mika’s frantic tears, taking her small form up onto his knee with a mischievous smile.

“Mice,” he’d whispered. “Such tricky little devils.”

With his sharp wit and seemingly boundless energy, her Grandfather Drosselmeyer had the disposition of a man half his age. His laugh lines were what gave him away, etching his face with the echoes of every joke he’d ever told.

Combined with his neatly styled silver hair - which he sported as a proud badge of his years - Harold Anderson gave off the impression of a kindly, dignified artisan rather than a shrewd business mogul.

Unlike her Father, whose glare burned into Mika’s back with unabashed contempt.

Mr. Anderson pointedly cleared his throat, and Mika winced. Her Grandfather didn’t seem the slightest bit perturbed, though. He turned them both to face his son with a broad smile.

“Merry Christmas, my boy! It’s so good to see you.”

The greeting he got in return was clipped.

“Father. Clearly, you believe attending these parties aren’t worth your precious time. Why even bother showing up?”

“Oh, come now, son, you know how I hate small talk. Why drag myself through such stuffy formalities when I can simply arrive at the climax?” Grandfather Drosselmeyer exclaimed cheerfully, unphased by the sour look on his son’s face.

Mika giggled, but the laughter died in her throat at her Father’s glower.

Mr. Anderson hummed, unimpressed. “Honestly, with all the money being thrown away on these ‘research expeditions’, you’re lucky I can keep the company afloat.”

“Ah, is that an invitation to join back in on day-to-day affairs? You know how I’ve missed our little chats. The burnt coffee in the boardroom was just a bonus, after all.”

Her Grandfather’s easygoing attitude only seemed to irritate her Father further.

“You are a figurehead, and nothing more,” he snapped. “Anderson Toys is finally moving towards becoming one of the top grossing corporations on the continent, and if footing the bill for your ridiculous trips keeps you out of the way, then so be it.”

Fury and indignation for her Grandfather boiled like acid in Mika’s stomach, and her hug tightened defensively around him.

Her Grandfather, as she had expected, didn’t rise to the taunt. He simply patted her hand soothingly and continued to smile.

“Even the figurehead still gets to attend his own company’s party, yes?” he inquired politely, and her Father sneered.

“You’d still ask despite turning up late? Clearly your nerve hasn’t softened with age like your mind. Well, seeing as how I was just in the middle of addressing my guests, you can wait here until I’ve-“

“Oh, is that Harold?”

“Harold, you sly dog! We thought you’d never show!”

The voices that floated in expressed surprise and delight as Harold’s arrival reached the dining room. Slowly, guests carried into the lobby, eager to greet their beloved CEO with a flurry of questions.

Drosselmeyer met with each of them, shaking hands left and right jovially before inviting the group to follow him to the main parlour.

“Oh, you don’t mind, do you, David?” Harold chimed, seemingly unaware of the way in which he was stepping on his son’s proverbial toes.

Mika knew better. A twinge of satisfaction curled her lips as her Father’s spotlight was stolen away, leaving the corner of his eye twitching.

“...We’ll get back to the speech’s afterwards,” Mr. Anderson ground out as delicately as possible.

Harold clapped his hands together. “Wonderful! Now, shall we?”

-❄-

Soon, the parlour was packed, and a roaring fire crackled merrily in the brick fireplace. With the room full of laughter, warmth, and happily chattering people, Mika felt like Christmas had finally arrived in the cold estate.

And in the middle of it all was her Grandfather Drosselmeyer.

Sat in a large armchair by the fireplace, he beamed like a modern-day Saint Nick. The overstuffed velvet sack he’d conjured from seemingly thin air sat open on the floor, and with every dip into its endless depths, a new and wonderful creation appeared.

Button-eyed teddy bears with hand-stitched smiles; rollerblades whose wheels gleamed with fresh polish; pop guns that fired corks with a bang.

Even the company’s oldest employees were transported back to their earliest Christmas mornings, eyes sparkling with childlike wonder at the beautiful toys her Grandfather produced.

As the last of the gifts were handed out, Mika and her friends sat around the front of Grandfather Drosselmeyer’s chair.

“You’ve really topped yourself this year, Mr. D!” Suzu exclaimed, fiddling with a stray paddle ball while she lay sprawled across the carpet.

Naomi coughed daintily into her fist, sitting cross-legged. “She means ‘thank you,’ Mr. Anderson.”

Her Grandfather laughed heartily. “You’re most welcome, girls. And I’ve told you to call me Drosselmeyer, Naomi. ‘Mr. Anderson-’,” he said, donning an exaggeratedly droll tone and puffing out his chest, “-is my son.”

Mika giggled, smoothing the glossy curls on the china doll in her lap.

Her Father was busy skulking around the outskirts of the party, so she could allow herself to relax for the time being. It was hard not to when she was with her Grandfather; his presence was like being enveloped in a ray of warm sunshine.

“I’m glad to see you ladies are having fun,” Grandfather continued, “But we aren’t through just yet! There’s still the grand finale!”

Grandfather Drosselmeyer gestured for the three girls to come closer on the carpet, and so they did, crowding nearer as he once again delved into his bag.

“For Suzu,” he began with a twinkle in his eye, “the latest in my line of model airplanes.”

He revealed a beautifully painted metal bi-plane with gold stripes up the wings and matching propellers on the nose and fins. The landing gear even had miniature rubber tires.

Suzu was starry-eyed. “No way! It’s so cool!”

Grandfather Drosselmeyer chuckled, handing it to the eager girl. “I thought you’d like the fastest prototype we had available. I trust you’ll give our engineers a run for their money.”

“Hell yeah! Thanks, Mr. D!” Suzu whooped, jumping to her feet and dipping the plane through the air, watching the propeller blades spin.

Naomi's lips pinched, clearly torn between reprimanding Suzu for her language and letting her enjoy herself.

Her struggle was immediately forgotten, however, when Drosselmeyer announced her gift.

“For Naomi, a hand-painted matryoshka doll that’s travelled with me all the way from Belarus.”

Naomi squealed, the excited noise a stark contrast to her usually reserved nature.

“It’s beautiful, Mr. A- Um, Drosselmeyer!” she corrected quickly, gratefully accepting the wooden figurine.

It was of a woman with ruby lips in a green-patterned apron, her eyes closed demurely. The paint glistened in the firelight, and Naomi traced along the intricate carvings before twisting the top half gently. It popped open with ease to reveal a smaller figurine, this one in a blue dress.

She gave the old man a quick hug before beginning the task of opening each compartmented doll.

Mika smiled at the twin expressions of joy on her friends’ faces.

How her Grandfather always knew just the right gifts to bring was beyond her, but it wasn’t surprising. He’d always had a knack for reading people, and she’d seen him do and create so many extraordinary things.

Mika doubted she’d ever stop being amazed by her Grandfather Drosselmeyer.

A small, fearful part of her heart prayed that she wouldn’t.

Her sudden anxiety calmed when a knuckle curled beneath her chin, tilting her face upwards to meet loving eyes.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” Grandfather Drosselmeyer asked softly, and Mika’s throat tightened with a swell of emotion.

It was Christmas, and she was with the people she adored; it was everything Mika could possibly want. To spend such a special night worrying would be a waste.

“Nothing Grandfather. Everything is perfect,” she reassured, shaking off her momentary nerves with a watery smile.

Her Grandfather’s eyes shimmered with a depth far beyond his years as he studied her face carefully.

Mika’s heart turned over in her chest. At that moment, it felt as if he could see right through her practiced facade, knowing every one of the hopes and fears she had long grown accustomed to keeping hidden away.

But then, his smile brightened.

“Well if that’s the case, I don’t suppose you’ll be needing your gift then, hmm?”

Mika’s relieved giggle was dwarfed by her Grandfather’s hearty laughter as he pulled back to once again reach into his bag.

“I must confess that I actually have three presents for you this year, my dear. Is that alright?”

Mika bit her lip and attempted to school her features into a mask of nonchalance.

“Well, if you’ve already brought them, then I guess it's fine.”

Suzu snorted, tucking her plane under her arm and plopping back down next Mika.

Grandfather Drosselmeyer chuckled, waiting for Naomi to close up the last of her dolls so she could watch too.

“Now, for my beloved Granddaughter,” he announced, “this first gift is best suited for someone with your open-mindedness.”

Curious, the girls leaned closer. Grandfather paused for a moment before showing a stuffed animal.

Or at least, what resembled a stuffed animal.

It was white, with a long bushy tail and small feet. It sat on its hind legs, its stubby paws folded in front of it.

But in one of its paws, it had… a knife?!

Combined with its eerie red eyes and a jagged smile, Mika was shocked this design had ever cleared management.

“I know, he’s a little off-putting at first,” Grandfather admitted. “He was meant to be a cooking squirrel, complete with a chef hat. But somewhere along the way, he got a little…”

“Creepy?” Suzu offered, and Grandfather Drosselmeyer shrugged helplessly.

“...Yes, I suppose that’s fitting. He’s the only one of his kind, you see, and rather than have him destroyed, I thought Mika might be able to find his potential.”

Mika listened to this, all the while observing the unusual looking toy.

Yes, it had a few quirks, but there was undoubtedly a charm to him that Mika couldn’t quite put her finger on. So, she happily took the squirrel from her Grandfather, setting aside the doll from earlier to place it in her lap.

“I think I’ll call him… Simon. Simon Tabby.”

Her Grandfather nodded his approval while Naomi and Suzu gawked at her like she’d grown a second head.

“What?” Mika smirked at her friends, holding Simon up and wiggling his paws. “You’re not really scared of such a cute little guy, are you?”

Suzu scoffed, though Naomi looked noticeably paler.

“The next is something to read in bed during a stormy night,” Grandfather Drosselmeyer continued.

He dug around the bag again and Mika held back a gasp when a beautifully decorated leather book was revealed.

It was about the size and thickness of a phone book, with gold and bronze metal detailings along the spine and cover corners.

“Grandfather, it’s lovely!” Mika breathed.

“Ah, but I think you’ll like what’s inside even more,” he said with an arched brow.

Opening the book gently, Mika watched as he flipped through the parchment pages to reveal dozens of hand-painted illustrations and cursive script.

“A collection of as many tall tales and legends as I could find throughout my travels. I know how much you love a good story; when you were little, you wouldn’t settle down until I’d read you every book I had on my shelves.”

Mika wrinkled her nose playfully. “Every book? Knowing your library, I never would’ve slept.”

Grandfather groaned dramatically, head sagging to his chest. “Oh, you didn’t. Just thinking about those long nights chasing you up and down the hallways is enough to make me feel my age tenfold.”

Mika’s giggles were bubbly as she leaned forward to take the book, being mindful of Simon Tabby in her lap.

It was shockingly light for its size, only a third of the weight Mika had been expecting. Opening to the index, she read dozens of titles, some she recognized and others she didn’t.

Just picturing the hours of work that must’ve been needed to create it had a tingling warmth fill her chest.

Closing the tome gently, she offered it to Naomi, who began skimming the chapters curiously. Suzu scooted over to sneak a peek.

“And last, but certainly not least…” Grandfather Drosselmeyer trailed off quietly, reaching in with both hands and a small wistful smile.

Slowly, he pulled out a wooden box with a dark spiral pattern burned into the lid.

“A set of loyal protectors.”

He opened the case, hinges creaking, and this time, Mika’s breath did rush out in a soft gasp.

Four tin soldiers laid in the box’s velvet lining, adorned in matching military uniforms. Each one had a different colour lapel and hat brim. They were incredibly well made, with distinguishing features such as hair and eye colour.

And in the centre of the Soldiers was the most handsome Nutcracker Mika had ever seen.

Brilliant emerald eyes seemed to shine from behind the brim of his hat and brown bangs. A sword was tucked carefully into his left holster.

Mika didn’t even realize she was crying until her vision blurred, hot tears fluttering on her bottom lashes.

“You like them?” Grandfather asked tenderly, and in response, Mika held out her hands.

“Can I hold them, please?” she whispered with a choked voice.

Grandfather smiled. “Of course you can, dear. They’re yours.”

Mika received the chest with the utmost care, gingerly running her fingers over the five figurines.

“Did you make them, Grandfather Drosselmeyer?” Mika murmured, still enraptured with her gift.

Grandfather shook his head. “I can’t say that I did, though they’ve been through a great deal with me over the years. Now, I give them to you: to protect my most precious Granddaughter.”

Mika was in two minds. She so desperately wanted to throw her arms around her Grandfather and give him the tightest hug she could. But instead, she found herself strangely fixated with the soldiers that lay before her.

They radiated with life, just shy of breathing. It felt as if she took her eyes off them for even a second, they’d simply stand up and run off with a will of their own.

Drosselmeyer broke her trance by reaching down and carefully removing the Nutcracker, reassuring his suddenly panicked Granddaughter with an amused smile.

“Don’t worry, sweetie, I just want to make sure he’s still working properly after our long journey.”

Mika released the breath she’d inadvertently been holding, rightfully embarrassed at her covetousness. As her cheeks bloomed red, Grandfather Drosselmeyer waved off her stammered apology as he reached into his coat pocket.

“It warms this old man’s heart to see just how much you still enjoy his tricks, my dear. And speaking of tricks…”

He revealed a single walnut. Placing it inside the Nutcracker’s mouth, it only took a quick pull on the lever in his back to crush the nut into pieces.

“Whoa!” Suzu exclaimed, leaning up on her knees as Drosselmeyer brushed away a bit of stray dust from his pant leg. “That’s awesome!”

“Yes, he’s certainly a handy fellow, isn’t he? But at my age, soups and a nice soft muffin are more fitting. So I hope you’ll find some use for him, Mika.”

Mika rolled her eyes at her Grandfather’s joke but quickly focused her attention back on the Nutcracker. “I promise I’ll take the best care of him, Grandfather. You have my word.”

Grandfather Drosselmeyer’s eyes glimmered with intrigue as he raised a brow. “And there is power in our words, hmm?”

Suzu and Naomi might’ve thought the sudden gravity behind her next sentence was out of place. But to Mika, having her Grandfather’s trust meant more to her than anything.

When you grow up around people who view lying as natural as breathing, you either learn the importance of fidelity and honesty, or you become them.

And Gods did that terrify her.

“Every single one,” Mika swore earnestly and was rewarded with a proud smile from Grandfather Drosselmeyer. He handed back the Nutcracker, and Mika held him carefully under one arm as she stood to meet her Grandfather’s hug.

“Thank you, Grandfather Drosselmeyer,” Mika whispered fervently.

“You’re most welcome, sweetie,” her Grandfather whispered back.

If he noticed how desperately she clung to him, he didn’t mention it. He simply returned the embrace for as long as Mika needed it, only moving back when she loosened her grip slightly a few moments later.

She looked up to see the adoration shining in his eyes, and Mika’s heart felt lighter than it had in weeks.

Finally, after every silent meal, cold glance and forced smile, finally... the house was her home again.

-❄-

There you have it, the first chapter! I really hope it was as fun to read as it was to write and plan out.

The story will follow the classic ballet along with a few twist and turns of my own design, and since I'm still polishing a few bits and pieces for the later chapters, any and all feedback is much appreciated!

Oh, and by the way, I won't be revealing which boy Mika ends up with until a little later into the story. Feel free to take your guesses as to who the lucky fella will be!

#my writing #seduce me otome #seduce me the otome #seducemeotome #fanfiction #the nutcracker #christmas #fluff #mika anderson #visual novel #suzu #naomi #enjoy this first chapter!

22 notes · View notes

bolddeducktionneverfails · 6 years ago

Text

The Depths of "Gander": What's Going On Here?!

Whenever I’m asked what my favorite DuckTales episode is, I always immediately want to say “House of the Lucky Gander!”. Not just because it was a fun episode to watch, but it premiered during such a great time.

Disney XD was airing the first season out of order and that disrupted the flow between globe-trotting episodes and the Duckburg episodes. It also affected the amount of screen-time certain characters were given. Some viewers were convinced the show was beginning to focus too much on Webby and expressed their disappointment over the lack of Scrooge and Donald. In addition to this, there were also complaints about Launchpad's character being too dumbed down after “Terror of The Terra-firmians!” aired.

But when “Gander” premiered, it attended to these problems: This was a globe-trotting episode; something we haven’t seen since “Woo-oo!”. Both Scrooge and Donald were present, we got to see a Duck Family relative and we were suddenly let in a little on Launchpad's past! It was wonderful! Perhaps Disney Channel realized that the viewers were upset, because “The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks!” was originally set to air on that date. There was a change in scheduling five days prior and because of this, Disney XD Canada, who’s schedule is supposed to mimic the U.S. version of the channel, ended up showing “Internship” anyway. The networks later flip-flopped the airings for the two episodes the following week. Heh, that was interesting.

...But, yeah! I was so shocked by Launchpad's side-quest! It left me with so many questions! Like “what was that all about?!” and “why didn't we get to see what happened?”. The more I thought about it, I began to wonder about the significance of Gladstone’s side of the story as well. I was hoping that we would get to see LP go on another side-quest some episodes later and get to see the action we missed out on! But the season ended without returning to this aspect.

Then about a year later, “The Depths of Cousin Fethry!” aired, and much to my delight, we got to see Launchpad go off on another secret adventure! Along with other similar elements to “Gander”! But, yet again, we didn't get to see what that adventure looked like. Everyone was so confused about this. Why did he go on another adventure we weren't allowed to see? What was the point of bringing this idea up a second time if it isn't going anywhere?

After comparing the two episodes and looking back at my theories, I think I know what the show-runners could be trying to do with these stories:

I think they're indirectly giving us information on Della's situation and how her return might play out.

⁽ᴵ ᵏⁿᵒʷ, ᴵ ᵏⁿᵒʷ, ᴳᶦᵖʰʸ ʷᵃˢⁿ'ᵗ ᶜᵒⁿᵛᵉʳᵗᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᶜᵉⁿᵉˢ, ᴵ ʰᵃᵈ ᵗᵒ ᶠᶦⁿᵈ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᵉˡˢᵉ. ᴹᵃʸᵇᵉ ᴵ'ˡˡ ᶜʰᵃⁿᵍᵉ 'ᵉᵐ ˡᵃᵗᵉʳ.⁾

Both “Gander” and “Depths” follow the same formula:

The family goes on an adventure to see a Duck relative (more specifically, a Duck Cousin)

The featured relative is compared to one of the kids

Dewey wants to name something after himself

Launchpad goes on his own adventure involving someone he previously dated

We can use this as a base to help us determine what could happen in the future.

The Family Goes On An Adventure to See A Duck Relative

“Gander” opens up with the Sunchaser flying though a starry, night sky accompanied by a large, full moon. The family has just arrived to the distant land of Macaw to answer Gladstone’s call for help. Originally, they were on their way to go to the Temple of The Golden Cricket, the home of a legendary insect that emerges every fifty years, but it was decided to attend to this family matter along the way.

When they find Gladstone in the hotel, he appears to be fine and claims that he just wants to hang out with his family. This is a cover for bigger reasons because he knows the owner of the hotel, Toad Liu Hai, and his staff are lurking around; keeping Gladstone in check. Since the beginning of the episode, Scrooge looked down at Macaw because he believed it was full of empty distractions. He constantly tries to mosey the kids over to the hotel exit so they can get back to the main adventure, but Toad Liu Hai keeps obscuring their path and reeling them back in with food and entertainment.

Later on, it turns out that Toad Liu Hai is an immortal being who has trapped Gladstone within his domain solely for the purpose of feeding off of his good luck. Donald fusses at his cousin after this reveal: “We came out here to help you and you put the family in danger!” The two of them are forced to participate in a challenge where the winner is freed and the loser has to stay trapped forever. Gladstone, of course, strolls through the course with no problems while Donald struggles to keep up. Just before Donald can give up on winning, he finds a new found strength in Louie’s words of encouragement that helps him to plow through all the obstacles and past the finish line; all while Gladstone gets distracted by a twenty dollar bill like in the montage from earlier in the episode.

Toad Liu Hai is about to reclaim Gladstone as his prisoner, but Scrooge thinks quickly and deceives the vampire into thinking Donald was the luckier one for winning. Louie is very upset with Scrooge’s decision; someone he admired and trusted, just carelessly handed his uncle over to someone evil! But Louie soon saw that this was all according to plan; Donald’s luck was so awful, that Toad Liu Hai and his entire tourist trap disintegrated! Both of the Duck Cousins are saved! The family get back in the Sunchaser to visit the temple like they originally intended and Gladstone sails away on a yacht.

“Depths” opens up with Huey doing something seemingly trivial and nerdy. He’s determining the age of a tree trunk in Scrooge's office by observing its rings. Dewey, who was interrupted from his bath to watch his brother do this, is bothered. He was hoping to see something exciting; something worth dragging him out of the tub for. Soon after, the office receives a call from Cousin Fethry, who’s been living in Scrooge's underwater lab for the past four and a half years. It's an invitation to meet him in the deep, dark and distant waters of the Mid-Atlantic Ridge. He's made an exciting discovery and wants to share it with his family. Scrooge and Donald encourage the boys to disregard Fethry's call because he has the tendency to exaggerate the urgency of his findings. Every time they visit him, the discovery ends up being something silly that wasn't worth the dangerous adventure. The boys aren't convinced and answer the call anyway.

They trick Launchpad into stealing the submarine by claiming Scrooge wants them to “test the equipment” and head over to the lab’s lighthouse where Fethry is waiting for them. When Huey and Dewey reach the top floor, they’re not met with their cousin, but a crudely put together decoy of him. Before they can worry about what happened, Fethry appears in front of them from the ceiling; totally fine. He greets the “Little Donalds” and descends the aquavator so they can begin their expedition. While they wait to reach the laboratory, Fethry gives them a tour of it though a miniature display of the lab’s multiple pods. One of which, includes “The Dream Room! Great for naps! Relaxation! Embracing the unending darkness... becoming one with the abyssssss…”

The trio stop by the Tully Observatory, where they’re suddenly attacked by mutated sea worms! Once they’re able to calm the creatures down by showing them affection, Fethry introduces the boys to his team of glowing krill. These tiny crustaceans will assist them in getting to his exciting discovery. Fethry and the boys head back to the aquavator, but not long after, something cuts the cord attached to it! The only way for them to get to the discovery now is for them to swim out to it. Fethry and his krill lead the kids through the hydrothermal vents that surround the laboratory pods. Little do they know, something, or someone, rather, is lurking…

The group make it safely to the Dream Room and Fethry gets ready to finally show Huey and Dewey the amazing thing he found. He hesitates a bit a first by offering them them food; to make his family feel at home and get comfortable, but the kids don’t care about any of those things, they want to see his discovery NOW! It turns out, Fethry called them all the way over from Duckburg...and took them all the way to the bottom of the ocean...just to see a bunch of rainbow krill. This reveal doesn't sit well with the boys at all, especially Huey: “We trusted you! Came all the way down here! We got attacked by a squid! I kissed a worm!” It was all a big waste of time, just like their uncles had warned them...Dewey orders his cousin to take them back to the lighthouse, when suddenly, a giant glowing monster appears in front of the pod window!

The trio desperately swim out and make their way to the aquavator as the vents destroy the laboratory around them. Once they make it, Huey fusses at his older relative again, “You lured us down here to get devoured by a monster. Thanks!” Fethry is saddened by this accusation; that wasn't his intention at all. While the brothers devise a plan to ward off the monster, Fethry begins to notice something very familiar about the creature...it’s not a monster, it’s Mitzi! A long-lost member of his team! She was mutated by the hydrothermal vents! Fethry notices that she's trying to help them get to safety, but Dewey isn’t buying it and continues to blind her with the aquavator’s spotlight. The two cousins fight over the device and Huey is left wondering who to trust. Fethry is able to win him over by reminding him about a rule in the Junior Woodchucks Guidebook involving how you must be open to the unknown to discover the truth. To test Fethry’s claim about Mitzi, Huey switches on the speaker and begins to sing to her like he had seen his older relative do earlier with his team. Mitzi becomes still and glows in response. Fethry was telling the truth! Something that seemed extremely trivial at first, ended up helping them in the end. The giant krill safely brings the boys back to the lighthouse and swims away into the distance with her old friend.

So...how could all of this relate to Della’s situation?

The environments in both episodes were vast, dark and distant, much like the moon in space. The moon and a starry sky were the first things we were presented with in “Gander”. In “Depths”, Launchpad referred to the ocean as "the underwater sky" and Fethry later described it as “liquid space”.

Interestingly enough, in “Woo-oo!”, Donald says “This is the Spear of Selene all over again!” when they’re stuck in an underwater chamber.

Gladstone needed the help of his family to escape the place he was confined to. Della’s stuck on the moon somehow and might need her family to help her. Fethry was secluded far away without interaction with his family and acts strangely because of his isolation. Della will likely act in a similar manner when she comes back.

One relative calls for help while the other relative calls to share a discovery. Scrooge looks down at something about the upcoming adventure for seemingly being a waste of time; Macaw was full of distractions and visiting Fethry always ends up being a “fool's errand wrapped up in a needlessly, dangerous adventure”. He was originally in the process of trying to do something else he thinks is worth his time, like heading to the Temple of the Golden Cricket or organizing his office.

Could Della try to contact Earth asking for help but her call is ignored at first? The mission control center hasn't received a message in years, (Where exactly is it? Was it part of The Money Bin?) he may not be quick to believe any transmission is coming through. What if he doesn’t heed her call because he’s too busy saving money in order to beat Flintheart in the bet they made at the end of “The Ballad of Duke Baloney!” so he can keep his company?

Will she be unable to relaunch the Spear after she repairs it because of an opposing force? Similarly to Donald’s situation with his houseboat?

Is Selene, another moon deity or creature keeping Della trapped on the moon for some reason? If it’s Selene, is this part of a cruel prank? “The Secret(s) of Castle McDuck!” highlighted how Della loves to pull pranks and how Selene enjoyed them. The fact that the triplets discover Della’s blueprints for the Spear in the same episode could be implying part of Della’s situation may be Selene’s doing. It doesn’t make sense for Selene to have never seen Della in years when she’s been within her domain this whole time. Was the way she acted when Dewey and Webby entered her garden all an act?

There’s been a number of other situations involving possession and being imprisoned somewhere:

Scrooge imprisoned Magica in his Number One Dime, Magica created and possessed Lena to set herself free.

Doofus temporarily claimed Louie as his “friend present” and wouldn’t allow him to leave his mansion. (This situation seemed very similar to “Gander”; Louie even wears the suit he wore in that episode.)

Zeus trapped the family on Ithaquack and forced them to participate in a contest. He later gets a siren to possess Storkules and attack the McDuck Family.

The Ghost of Christmas Past traps Scrooge in the past because he was fed up over being neglected every year in favor of Scrooge spending Christmas with his family.

Could any of these cases help give us a better idea for why Della could be trapped?

The relative is thought to be in serious danger in the beginning of the episode but it turns out they're fine or at least they appear that way. Gladstone was just getting an intense massage and Fethry set up a decoy to ward off pirates.

Could Della have to pretend not to be in trouble so she won’t get caught trying to leave?

In “Depths”, Huey and Dewey say something similar to Donald’s statement in “Gander” about the relative getting them in danger.

Could Della’s rescue put them all in a greater danger?

Fethry just wanted to show his family his discovery about the multicolored krill, he didn’t mean for things to go wrong.

Did the krill represent Della wanting to show her boys the stars and ignoring how dangerous the journey was? Both just wanted to spend time with their family; Fethry stalled before he uncovered the pod window. He’s usually very alone and more than likely wanted company in the process. His adventures were how he bonded with his family, like Della in “Last Christmas!”. Looking for Santa seemed trivial to Donald but she just wanted to spend time with her brother by going on an adventure with him. Something similar could probably be said for her purpose of creating the Spear of Selene.

Could the hydrothermal vents represent the cosmic storm in some way? Did going through it give Della any abnormalities? Is that why she’s able to breath in space? I've seen comments here and there comparing her situation to The Fantastic Four.

If not Della, did someone else experience a mutation? If Fethry, Huey and Dewey were swimming around these vents, could they have been affected in some way?

Someone’s trust in another person gets tested and words of encouragement are given. Louie gave a speech to Donald and felt betrayed by Scrooge giving his uncle up. Huey had to deal with Fethry’s claim about Mitzi. This is also similar to Donald having to trust Dewey with the death trap in the pilot.

Will the family have to trust Della about something working out? Or the other way around?

A big reveal takes place: Toad is an immortal being, Mitzi is a long-lost friend.

Could the reveal be an explanation to why she could never be found before? A bigger reason why she took the Spear?

Does Della reunite with an unexpected friend from her past?

Elements from the earlier half of the episode come back into play in the latter. Gladstone getting distracted by a twenty dollar bill and Fethry singing to the krill.

Something that was previously believed as trivial will have significance in saving the day? (This sounds reminiscent of Launchpad starting the burrito-based uprising in “The Living Mummies of Toth-Ra!”)

Huey, Dewey and Launchpad stole the sub like Della took the the Spear.

Will a spacecraft be stolen in order to save Della? And could it be done behind Scrooge and/or Donald's back?

Whenever Launchpad is part of the main action of a story, Donald tends to get pushed back. When Donald's part of the main action of a story, Launchpad tends to get pushed back. (This also occurs when a Duck Cousin is in focus and whenever Storkules is present.) If Donald was involved in the main action of “Woo-oo!”'s Atlantis-half and if parts of that situation were meant to mirror what could happen with Della's rescue, can we expect a flip where Launchpad is in focus during the space adventure while Donald gets pushed back somehow? Is that what his absence from the news report in the Season 1 finale was alluding to?

Tʜɪs ɪs sᴏ ᴏᴅᴅ...ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴀ ᴇᴍᴘᴛʏ sᴘᴀᴄᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɢᴏɴᴇ. Aɴᴅ ʜᴇ ᴡᴀs ʜᴇᴀᴠɪʟʏ ɪɴᴠᴏʟᴠᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ ʜᴀʟғ ᴏғ "Sʜᴀᴅᴏᴡ Wᴀʀ". Wʜʏ ᴅɪᴅ ʜᴇ ɢᴇᴛ ʟᴇғᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ?

At the end of the episode, one relative rides away on a yacht while the other rides away on a giant krill.

The family rides back home reunited in a spacecraft?

“The House of the Lucky Gander!” (home is on land), “The Depths of Cousin Fethry!” (deep in the sea)

Can we expect a title along the lines of “The Heights of Della Duck!”? (high in the sky?)

Since both “Gander” and “Depths” premiered in October, could we expect another episode that follows the formula to be aired in that month as well? Or did the Disney Channel move affect when “Depths” aired?

The Featured Relative is Compared to One of The Kids

When Louie begins to hang out with Gladstone in “Gander”, he remarks “I love this kid! He's like me, but shorter, with a cheaper haircut.” Both characters also wear green, are easy-going, savvy and lazy. In “Depths”, Dewey points out that both Fethry and Huey are eccentric nerds who follow the Junior Woodchuck guidebook and wear red caps that they never take off.

When thinking about which child could end up being compared to Della, I originally thought of Webby. While she isn't a blood relative, she's still treated as family and shares similar personality traits and interests with Della. If Webby took off her bow, she would even look similar to what Della used to look like when she was younger. I've been theorizing that Della will be pretty withdrawn after being isolated for so long. When she gets back, it could be like Webby's situation but sorta in reverse: Della doesn't want to explore anymore, she wants to stay in the mansion. She'll also feel out of place like Webby: her brother is more of a parent than she is and so much has changed since she left. I think the whole family will try to help her readjust, but Webby might be able to relate best to what she's feeling.

In spite of this, I'm starting to believe the next child to be featured in a “Gander” styled episode will be Dewey. There have already been comparisons between him and his mother. Scrooge, Donald and Selene are all reminded of Della's feisty demeanor and recklessness through Dewey's behavior. He was the one to discover the ripped painting in the garage and got the Della Mystery started. If a space trip is planned in the future, he would very likely be the main kid in focus.

I wanted to avoid suggesting him because according to the formula, the kid that gets compared to the relative ends up having the next season's main arc dedicated to them and Dewey already had that in the first season...but who's to say there won't be another episode to follow the formula next season with Webby? Both kids are like Della, so could there be two similarly structured episodes highlighting this?

Dewey Wants to Name Something After Himself

In “Gander”, Toad Liu Hai offers Dewey a jade tiger. Once Scrooge allows him to keep it, he names it Dewey Jr. In “Depths”, Dewey desperately wants to name a new species of sea-life after himself and constantly comes up with variations of his name like “Dewfish” and “The Dewnificent Krilldabeast”. If the family goes to space, maybe he'll want to name a star, some sort of alien creature or the vessel they're traveling in.

If the formula decides to stray a bit from this element, could we possibly expect something else involving his name? The kids were given nicknames in both episodes: Gladstone referred to Louie as “Lou” and Fethry collectively referred to Huey and Dewey as “Little Donalds”. Maybe Della jokingly refers to Dewey as “Bluey” because of his time travel adventure in “Last Christmas!”.

Launchpad Goes on His Own Adventure Involving Someone He Previously Dated

In “Gander”, Launchpad makes a rough, water landing with the Sunchaser, but he doesn't crash like he usually does. When the family disembark from the plane, LP reveals that he wasn't planning on entering the hotel with them. He motions towards a starry patch in the sky over the city and tries to explain to Scrooge that he has an old girlfriend, named Ziyi, who lives in the area. He wants to go check on her due to the problems she's been having with the local crime family. Scrooge ignores all of this and simply reminds Launchpad to be ready to resume the trip in one hour.

When the family comes back from the area where the hotel used to stand, Launchpad is seen holding the plane's plug door open, wearing Chinese armor. He's covered in several arrows with an eye patch over his right eye and a baby panda on his back. He had clearly come from some sort of scuffle while they were gone. While everyone doesn't seem to care and board the plane without a word, Dewey becomes concerned and asks him what happened. Instead of going into details, LP brushes it off as “tourist stuff”. When Dewey goes into the Sunchaser, Launchpad turns around to the city behind him and says “Goodbye...Ziyi. Wherever you are…” This more than likely implies that he wasn’t able to find her. There's a high chance she went missing due to the crime family.

In “Depths” Launchpad doesn't crash, but he lightly bumps Scrooge's submarine into the lighthouse. He hooks the sub to the railing and gets ready to join Huey and Dewey on the adventure, when all of a sudden, a familiar voice calls out to him: It's Oceanika! One of his many previous lovers. She is seen out in the open sea, on top of a rock; far away, but much closer than Ziyi.

When Launchpad returns to the lighthouse after yet another mysterious adventure, he crawls out of the water and on to the platform, wearing an Aquaman-esque get-up. He holds a trident in his left hand, a couple strands of seaweed are draped over his shoulders, a conch shell is hanging from his neck and three color-coded sea creatures are attached to him; a green eel, a red octopus and a blue starfish. While reuniting with Oceanika, he may have gotten caught up in a fight of some sort. He turns around to face the rock he had found her on earlier and begins to bid her farewell, until Dewey interrupts him: “Launchpad, what happened to you?” LP tenses up and claims that he “ran into an old friend...snorkeled around” and “saw some...sea stuff”. A longer explanation than last time, but still rather skimpy on the details.

What could this information possibly be suggesting about the future?

Launchpad doesn't crash. He makes a rough landing with the plane and a minor bump with sub.

Could Launchpad make an even softer landing with a spaceship? Maybe even a perfect landing?

Many comparisons have been made between submariners and astronauts. NASA Astronauts use the sea to help prepare themselves for space missions and the training required for managing a submarine is similar to that of a spacecraft. There are also situations in which test pilots become astronauts and depending on how far the show runners or willing to go with Launchpad's history, he may have already held that aviation position in the military.

Since discovering the space-sea connection, I pondered a little about the possibility that Launchpad has already been through space before or at least went through some amount of training required for it, because seriously...how is he going to be this amazing at piloting a submarine, without prior experience? He can navigate it while sleeping and while being blindfolded, but he never crashes like he does with everything else he operates...

Launchpad doesn't join the first relative adventure, but he almost joins in the second one.

Will he join the main adventure the third time?

In his first adventure, LP wanted to check in on Ziyi because she might be in trouble. In the second adventure, Oceanika isn't in trouble they just want to see each other, but trouble might have arose in the process.

Will his third previous lover end up in trouble? Are they already in trouble?

LP returns from his adventures showing signs of being in a battle. The first time, he was shot at with arrows and wore an eye patch. The second time, he’s holding a trident and not as worn out by battle.

On his third adventure, will he have little to no damage at all?

LP returns from his adventures with a smaller creature or creatures attached to him. In the first adventure, the baby panda was in a basket on his back. In the second, the octopus and starfish were on his back and the eel was wrapped around his arm.

Will he have another group of smaller creatures with him in the third adventure? Will he carry Huey, Dewey and Louie back home with him? The colors and personalities of the triplets match the sea creatures: Eels are slippery, octopi are smart, a̶n̶d̶ ̶s̶t̶a̶r̶f̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶b̶r̶a̶i̶n̶s̶. Ha, just kidding about that last one. Not about the fact that starfish are brainless, but Dewey is impulsive; he doesn't think before he acts. Other possible connections between him and the starfish are how it could represent his desires to be an astronaut-president as he claimed in “Internship”, how he wants to stand out from his brothers and how he resembles Della in personality the most. The starfish is even a shade of teal, like Della’s scarf.

Something else that could support the idea of the sea creatures representing HDL is that there's a pattern suggested with the colors too. Louie is missing where green should go.

Tʜᴇ ᴘᴀᴛᴛᴇʀɴ ɪs ᴀʟsᴏ ɪɴ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴏғ ᴋɪᴅs ғᴇᴀᴛᴜʀᴇᴅ ɪɴ “Gᴀɴᴅᴇʀ” sᴛʏʟᴇᴅ ᴇᴘɪsᴏᴅᴇs: Lᴏᴜɪᴇ ᴡᴀs ғɪʀsᴛ, Hᴜᴇʏ ᴡᴀs sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅ, Dᴇᴡᴇʏ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴡᴇʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴛʜɪʀᴅ. Tʜᴇ ғᴀᴄᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ LP ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʟᴏsᴇsᴛ ᴛᴏ Dᴇᴡᴇʏ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ʙᴇ ɪᴍᴘʟʏɪɴɢ ʜᴏᴡ ʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ʜᴇᴀᴠɪʟʏ ɪɴᴠᴏʟᴠᴇᴅ ɪɴ Dᴇᴡᴇʏ’s ᴇᴘɪsᴏᴅᴇ.

Could Louie have been represented by the baby panda? He’s the “baby” of the trio and his voice actor plays Panda on We Bare Bears. DuckTales was still in development when that show premiered.

When Dewey asked LP what happened, he is given a description that mirrors what occurred on the relative adventure. At first, a short explanation was given. The second time it's a little longer.

Will we get a more detailed explanation the third time? Or will the situation speak for itself?

Going out to help Ziyi mirrored Gladstone’s call for help. Getting beat up at the end of his adventure mirrored Donald getting worn out by the obstacle course.

Was Ziyi possibly being held captive by the crime family like Gladstone was with Toad?

In “Gander”, Dewey, a child, took care of an adult animal, the jade tiger, while LP, an adult, took care of a child, the panda.

When Launchpad rose out of the water with a serious expression at the end of “Depths”, it kinda mirrors how Dewey looked when he was upset over Huey disrupting his bath in the beginning of the episode. Dewey was expressing how he wanted to see something exciting happen and Launchpad ends up coming from something exciting. (Kinda like how Huey licked the tree stump in the beginning of the episode and Fethry later licked the rust in the aquavator...ew.)

Going off to see someone special from his past mirrors Fethry reuniting with Mitzi. Fethry’s comment about sharing a rib-eye with Mitzi sounded reminiscent of a date too.

If Huey kissed a sea worm during the second main adventure (oof) while Launchpad’s adventures continue to be romantic based, could there be another kiss on the third adventure?

We don't see Ziyi because she's far away, we see Oceanika, but she's shown at a distance.

Will we see the third lover up close?

The intensity of LP’s adventures seem to increase while the intensity of the relative adventures seem to decrease:

LP’s adventure in “Gander” had less visible characters involved. LP didn’t participate with the family, Ziyi was missing and a short description is said. Then in “Depths”, he’s close to participating, we see his lover from afar, he gives a longer description to the kids and he comes back with more than one creature.

“Gander” had a more serious threat with more characters involved. “Depths” involved a lesser amount of characters with a lesser threat.

With each episode, the environments become even more space-like.

These three major elements seem to be leaning into each other and could eventually reach a point where they intersect and even out:

Launchpad goes on a space adventure regarding a Duck Family relative he’s previously dated...?

Ha, if you’ve been following my blog long enough, you know this isn’t new from me, maybe you already sensed it while you were reading through, but seriously...first it was land... then there was sea...and with Della becoming a more prominent character this season, space will be soon. Launchpad’s adventures only occur when a Duck Cousin shows up and the basics always end up being similar to their situation. Ziyi (and Gladstone) could be reflecting Della’s past while Oceanika is reflecting her future; she was lost, but now she’s found.

Something that may be an indicator of these plot lines meeting in the future, is an upcoming Issue for IDW’s DuckTales comic series:

“It's a special 20-page story as we present "Money-Grubbing Hooligans from the Deep!" A tsunami is about to hit Duckburg, but a mysterious submarine may be the reason behind this unexpected occurrence. Find out how the occupant of the submarine is connected to Launchpad McQuack and if Uncle Scrooge's Money Bin will survive the watery onslaught!”

(Sᴏᴜʀᴄᴇ 1) (Sᴏᴜʀᴄᴇ 2)

While the comics are not necessarily set as canon, they will sometimes loosely parallel certain events from the show. Like how the first two issues revolved around Donald looking for a job and how that element was present in the pilot episode. “Happy Happy Valley!” seems to be inspired by “The Town Where Everyone Was Nice!”. The plot for “The Incredible Shrinking Webby!” sounds similar to “The Most Dangerous Game...Night!” where Gyro's shrink ray got out of hand.

I think Issue 18 could be borrowing certain elements from Della's return with some bits from "Depths" as well.

Let's take a closer look at Cover B:

Hᴇʜ, Wᴇʙʙʏ's ᴀʟʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ "Wʜᴏ ɪs ᴛʜɪs?" ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ʟᴏᴏᴋs ʟɪᴋᴇ Lᴀᴜɴᴄʜᴘᴀᴅ's ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪᴅs ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ. Pғғғғ.

We're presented with a night sky full of stars and the moon peeking behind a cloud. The submarine and its mysterious owner (who I'm very tempted to call “Subina”), are placed below the moon on the right hand side.

This new character seems to have combined traits from Oceanika and Della. While she’s from underwater, there's a bit of a space-ish vibe about her looks. She wears a teal dress that consists of a lighter shade and a darker shade like LP's hat, so like Della, she too shares his colors. Also, being the helmswoman of submarine technically makes her a pilot...a pilot who has something to do with Launchpad...in a story that gets released a day before Valentine's Day...

And like I've noted earlier, there’s a connection between the sea and outer-space. I believe that a sea theme was used to throw us off but indirectly give us information at the same time. (Like “Woo-oo!” And “Depths”.)

Aside from the mysterious submariner somewhat resembling Della, there's also mentions of her being the cause of a tsunami hitting Duckburg and the possibility of The Money Bin taking a beating from it. This could very well be in reference to the bet Scrooge agreed to with Glomgold. If Della needs to be saved during a time where Scrooge is trying his best to save money, he's going to have to make a choice between his family or his fortune. If he chooses family, he'll end up spending too much money and loose. The natural disaster could also be paralleling some other sort disaster about to happen in relation to the moon.

Before I close this out (Yes! You're reaching the end!), I wanted to mention something that might not support my claim, but I still wanted to discuss it:

At the end of “Last Christmas!”, we find out that Della brought her copy of the family photo from “Last Crash” with her. On the back of the photo are drawings of what look like baby ducks.

I noticed the doodle on the right looks an awful lot like a baby version of Gladstone. Because I mean, c'mon...just look at those thick eyebrows. The curly bang is very reminiscent of Gladstone's pre-reboot hairstyle too. The one on the left however, was very difficult to compare to an pre-existing character... I came across a comment about the possibility of it being a baby version of Fethry. (Maybe the cone shape on top isn't hair, but a pointed hat?) If this is intended to be Fethry and Gladstone, this might be further proof that their situations were meant to reflect Della's.

Another possible explanation for these drawings could be that Della drew Dewey and Louie from memory based on what she could retain from the news report. So maybe there's a sketch of what she remembered about Huey on the bottom half.

I believe it's going to be quite a while before we get a glimpse of what the third “Gander” styled episode will look like. The possible subject matter seems a lot more suited for a two-part finale and we're only six episodes in. Perhaps the beginning of the formula will span over some episodes prior to it, similarly to how “Castle” and “Last Crash” had elements that lead into “Shadow War”. Whether I'm truly on to something with my speculations or not, Della's return to Earth is an exciting subject, and I can't wait to see where it will go on the show.

That's a wrap, readers! Thank you for taking a dive with me on the S.S. Bold De-Ducktion!

TL;DR: We just might be in store for one heck of a family reunion.

54 notes · View notes

wutbju · 5 years ago

Link

The Times They Showed Their Quality: My own experience with Liberty University’s treatment of faculty BRIAN MELTON·MONDAY, JUNE 24, 2019 Clarification: This note was written in direct response to comments from Liberty’s provost in a recent Christianity Today article claiming that the relationship between the LU administration and its faculty staff is “healthy”, and that the faculty is “completely comfortable with what [the administration] is doing,” and it should be read in that context. I offer this as a simple statement of my experience to serve as a corrective in honor of the many people whom I know wish they could speak out but can’t. Thanks in advance for taking this as nothing more or less than it claims to be. --Brian Anyone who is paying attention to criticisms of Liberty University these days is well familiar with the charge of “Fake News.” It is a common and mindless refrain, parroted back in obedience to The Donald’s talking points and it somehow resonates with otherwise intelligent people. It is also an easy charge to levy, as most of the time when people not connected to LU hear about nefarious happenings and underhanded actions, it is as “something that happened to this guy I heard about” or the like thanks to LU’s use of non-disclosure agreements. I never signed an NDA. So, I thought I might skip the rumor mill and share my own direct, first-hand experience with the administration’s behavior. What I can attest to is only the tip of the proverbial iceberg and not as bad as what has happened to others, but it marked the transition when, after fifteen years, I finally came to the definite conclusion that the upper administration at LU wasn’t simply self-serving or even inept, but fundamentally duplicitous. Worse, it demonstrated to me that they acted this way intentionally and with malice aforethought.

In 2014 my family and I moved back to the Lynchburg area, where I occupied a position as an Instructional Mentor, acting as a bridge between the College of General Studies and the College of Arts and Sciences. Previously, I had worked for LU full time residentially for over ten years. I served as a professor, chair of the curriculum committee, and moderator of the faculty senate during that time. I liked and respected (I still do) the people in those schools I worked with directly, and at the time we intended to spend the rest of our lives there. I figured whatever else happened, we would muddle through it and I would retire from LU when the time came. My point is that though I of course had my frustrations with the administration on some issues, but there was no ill will and I hoped to keep working for them for years to come.

One peculiarity of my position at the time was that it was “part-time full time.” Technically, I was a part time worker and I received none of the benefits that other faculty did, while at the same time I was counted as a “full time” faculty with a terminal degree for SACS purposes via a “limited benefit” contract (the sole “benefit” was that after filling out paperwork I could receive up to $400 a year to join professional associations). I knew there would be none of the standard health or life insurance, tuition assistance, etc. going into the position and was fine with it, as we were allowed to take extra classes and make a comfortable sum that allowed me to pay for all the extras out of pocket. I recall speaking with my associate dean as late as 2015 and telling him that I would be happy doing this job until I retired.

Of course, the lack of medical coverage in particular was a complaint that many had, but I did not see it as a significant obstacle. Yes, it was on the unfair side to be a second-class faculty member who did not get the coverage others did, even though I did as much work, and getting on the school insurance would be a significant boon to our family. Still, I worked from home, was paid well, and just accepted it as a known downside of the specific job I had agreed to do. There had been constant rumors that the administration appreciated us and was taking steps to give us coverage, but nothing ever came of it. Until the Fall of 2016, that is.

That fall I received an email on a Friday afternoon (when few people would be expected to look at it, of course) informing me that I had worked enough to qualify for medical coverage under the university. I had one week to respond. If I didn’t I would immediately and permanently forfeit any claim to coverage now or in the future. As you can imagine, I didn’t wait! I responded immediately that I was grateful for the opportunity and to put me down for it. I also contacted both of my bosses, who were happy to hear that I had received coverage. Both promised to do everything they could do to make sure I kept it by giving me the required amount of work.The next week I called Human Resources to find out more. I spoke with the benefits coordinator, and told him how much I appreciated the gesture. He replied that he was glad to hear it and that LU was always happy to help its people. As he explained the details of the coverage, he was careful to sneak in a comment that if I ever happened to fall below the required line, I would lose my coverage. “Well,” I thought, “that’s fair.” And so I asked what I thought would be the obvious question: “Where is the line? How much do I have to work in order to rate coverage?” His reply was shady, and you could tell by the uncomfortable tone of his voice that he knew it too. “That’s proprietary information,” he said, “I can’t release it.” “You can’t tell me at all?” I asked. “No” was the answer. My bosses, good people that they are, also both followed up with HR and they were both given the same answer.

From that moment, I knew that this was, in reality, nothing but an intentional set up. The reason they would tell no one where the line lay was because it was mobile--no one would ever cross it again. No matter how much we worked, it would always be “unfortunately” short of the goal. In fact, Liberty had obfuscated on Obamacare as long as they could, and now they were being forced to offer coverage to all full time workers. Rather than be frank about it, they were playing the situation off like this was a friendly and helpful boon to their employees, all the while laying plans to revoke the coverage at the first opportunity and blame it on said employees. It was as dishonest as it was obvious.

Sure enough, within a month, we began to get notifications of sudden “policy changes” that cut the financial rug out from under whole classes of faithful employees. My own turn at this came in December. In a move worthy of the counting house of Ebenezer Scrooge, four days before Christmas, I received an email informing me that I was to be locked out of any and all overload teaching effective January 1. For me, that amounted to an immediate pay cut of approximately a third of my yearly LU income. I was given approximately two weeks--including Christmas Eve and Day--to make adjustments. Never was an apology expressed, regrets offered, or even an acknowledgment made by anyone beyond my immediate superiors (who had no say in the matter) for the obvious effect this had on people’s lives or for the manner in which it was rolled out. Over the next quarter, chaos ensued as the administration waffled back and forth about what to do next and my hapless bosses could only report what the whim of the day happened to be. One day I was looking at a 50% pay cut. A week later, the rumor was that my position was being eliminated. A week after that, it was 20%. Then 30%. etc. etc. etc.The following Fall, things finally settled out--as much as they do at Liberty, where things are constantly in flux as the latest disposable “rock star” tries to leave his mark. I ended up losing about 25% of my previous income potential and we were limited to a theoretical 30 hours per week of work. I emphasize “theoretical” because in fact no effort was made to track anything outside of teaching hours, which represented the hours for which we were actually paid. At the same time, Liberty’s “Co-Provost” announced sweeping changes to our positions requiring substantially more administrative work. Since administrative hours were never counted or totaled nor paid individually, in fact our workload as a whole went up substantially while our overall pay potential dropped significantly. Perhaps worse, we were now charged with tracing faculty compliance via a tool called the “FAR” which tracked and logged every single time a faculty member was late doing anything. While that information had been available to chairs and deans for years, now it was forced down to even the adjunct level and I, as an Instructional Mentor, was required to contact the faculty under me and ask for an explanation any and every time I saw a “red flag.” Miss posting your Monday announcement by five minutes this week? I have to demand a justification that I would log with the university on your record. Are you a little late in grading the papers the university suddenly required you to return to the students two days earlier than before? I’ll be checking up on you for an excuse why you shouldn’t be fired. And with the “Co-Provost” (What the heck is that, anyway? The real provost pretending to not be? The actual provost’s personal assistant?) constantly haranguing us with threats that there were “hundreds of people lined up for your job”, threats so thinly veiled that they insulted your intelligence as much as they frightened you, there was plenty of angst to go around.And so I found myself in an interesting position: I was working full time hours at a part time job that had at least full time expectations, being told that I could get in trouble if I didn’t accomplish my full time work in my part time hours. I operated on a one year contract with no job security under implied threats of “non-renewal” delivered via smarmy video messages that tracked how much of each you watched. I was part of an increasingly Orwellian surveillance system that meant I was party to inflicting all of this onto others. (Let us not forget academic standards that had fallen dramatically over recent years and about which I could perhaps write another whole article.) And I was supposed to be happy about it--sacrificing my time and my family for the university, but not being able to expect a scrap of loyalty or genuine appreciation out of anyone above the deans’ level in return. The only safe words that could be used to express serious dissent were, “Thank you sir! May I have another?” All of this was happening in the name of Christ, and every complaint was expected to be excused for the sake of the mission, a mission that it was increasingly clear the school’s own president regarded as secondary to making money and winning football games (since confirmed directly in a recent tweet). It should come as no surprise, then, that in the summer of 2017, when I was approached about an opportunity to teach in Europe, I decided to leave. And the medical coverage? In September of 2017 I received the equivalent of a medical “Dear John” letter, regretfully informing me that since I simply hadn’t worked hard enough in the past year, the university had no choice but to end my medical coverage. At the time, my wife and I were actively being treated with expensive anti-biotics for Lyme Disease and a malarial-type infection she had picked up on a mission trip. My new chair in LUO (my previous one had quit in disgust) went on the line for me to try to reverse the decision, but was told to sit down and be quiet--the administration didn’t care and he was risking his own position by speaking up. In the final tally, I most likely could have made ends meet on the new salary they were offering, but money wasn’t the central problem. Neither was the still-absent medical coverage; we had lived without it before and could again. The most important issue for me was character. I had to be able to rely on Liberty University to treat me and others fairly and honestly if I were to bank my family’s welfare on working for them. My own personal narrative aside, I knew of many other people treated worse than I was--a whole list of persons I liked and respected. If the last few years had taught me anything, it was that while there are still many excellent people to be found there, Liberty University as a whole was as shifty, dishonorable, unprincipled, and hypocritical a work environment as could be offered. I could not trust my family to them, and I increasingly found it hard to have my reputation associated with an organization that had proved itself so often without honor. (Yes, I’m old fashioned that way.) It was a hard decision. We love our friends in the Lynchburg area very much and we love the Virginia mountains. We love our church, and, as I said, we planned to grow old and die there. We miss them all badly, even as we travel and experience Europe. Unfortunately, Liberty’s behavior and lack of honor made it virtually impossible to stay--for us at least.

Moving into 2018, I learned that more cuts were likely. (Despite what Provost Hicks asserts, it is a relatively recent thing for faculty to be completely surprised by their non-renewal. At one point there was a written agreement that faculty would be notified by January if it were a possibility, and even later people were unofficially informed.) I approached my bosses and let them know I would be leaving at the end of the year in the hopes that if they knew it, someone else’s job might be secure (I was told that it did save a position). In true LU style, I later received official notification in a boiler plate email that they had regretfully decided not to renew the contract I had already informed them I wasn’t seeking. I arrived at LU in the Fall of 2003 to find an earnest, if humanly fallible university making its very best effort to transform itself into the Notre Dame of Evangelicalism. I left a financially successful behemoth where real ministry and Christian charity is carried out by earnest believers in spite of the effort and example of its upper administration to the contrary. Increasingly, LU is becoming more the Harvard of Evangelicalism than the Notre Dame (academic standards definitely not withstanding). It is a university where the original mission has been sacrificed in favor of a political agenda and a secular system of situational morality, Liberty falling to the right wing in counterpoint to Harvard’s left. Though the campus may be bigger and more beautiful than ever before, sadly, thanks to the trajectory of its current administration, its reflection of Christ is not.

#Bob Jones University #Liberty University #Faculty

1 note · View note

jaynaneeya · 7 years ago

Text

Happy Holidays, @roxymoron101! It’s your Secret Santa. Sorry I’m posting this so late in the day...I got kind of carried away and it turned out a bit longer than I intended. Hope you like this post-epilogue Wellenore fic!

Prompt: Wellenore Fake dating! (Maybe someone told family about having a bf/gf and now the family wants to meet them for Xmas)

Christmas preparations were in full swing at Edgar Allan Poe’s house when science-fiction-writer-turned-time-traveling-ghost HG Wells arrived on December 23rd. HG suspected that it was the first time that this or any other holiday had been celebrated there. Edgar wasn’t really the celebrating type. But his ghost girlfriend, Annabel Lee, certainly was, and the way she lit up with joy at even the mention of lights and ornaments was enough to melt any Scrooge’s heart. She had recruited HG, in addition to all of their other ghost friends, to help turn Edgar’s bleak mansion into the most festive home in Baltimore.

As soon as HG Wells walked through the door, Annabel thrust a coil of lights into his arms. “Mr. Wells, will you please wrap these around the handrail of the main staircase?” she requested.

“Certainly,” he agreed, relieved that his first assignment was relatively simple, and he set to work. So engrossed was he in his task that he didn’t notice that he wasn’t alone.

“Hey, Costco Optical,” a voice behind him said so suddenly that HG jumped, lost his balance, and fell down the stairs. Ghosts were subject to far more laws of physics than he would have liked, but at least he couldn’t get hurt. Laying on his back on the floor, he looked up to the top of the staircase to see a horrified Lenore, who, unbeknownst to him, had just experienced an unpleasant flashback to the night of his demise.

“Sorry, HG, I didn’t mean to startle you.” She hurried down the stairs and helped him to his feet.

“That’s quite all right, Lenore. I’d hoped that as a ghost I’d be less clumsy, but alas…”

They looked at one another awkwardly for a few moments. Neither of them knew what to say. They’d seen quite a bit of each other since HG’s death, but rarely without at least three other ghosts present. Apparently, HG had been the first one to unlock the mystery of time travel, and he’d been showing others the secret. Lenore often tagged along, even after she’d learned to move through time without his assistance. They’d walked with dinosaurs and some strange futuristic creatures they had no name for, watched empires and nations form and crumble, and tried (unsuccessfully) to stop people they knew were about to become evil dictators, but through it all, they had spent no more than a few minutes alone together. HG always invited as many ghosts as he could because he knew Lenore thrived in large groups. Lenore knew HG was trying to take in as much of the past and future as he could, and she didn’t want to distract him from the only thing that made him happy to be dead, so she spent most of their trips talking to the others.

Finally, HG broke the silence. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Oh, right. I just wanted to know if you had any Christmas plans.”

“Well, Edgar and Annabel invited me to join them. As you know, my family…” He trailed off. Lenore knew. His family didn’t like ghosts and had tried to exorcise him when he visited them.

“I just thought you might want to spend Christmas with me. My parents wanted to bring me back, so they’re totes cool with ghosts.”

HG didn’t know what to say. Why did she want to spend Christmas with him? She never seemed to want to talk to him on their time traveling adventures.

Before HG had time to say anything, Lenore spoke again. “Also…I kind of might have told them that I have a boyfriend…”

HG had never seen her look so embarrassed. She wasn’t exactly blushing – he wasn’t sure if ghosts could blush – but she was staring at the floor when she normally had no trouble meeting anyone’s eyes. He didn’t understand. “You have a boyfriend? Is it John Proctor?”

“Ugh, no, I don’t have a boyfriend, that’s the problem! I mean, yes, John Proctor is totally hot, but he’s also totally not into me, so that was never going to work.”

HG was still confused. “So why did you tell your parents you had a boyfriend if you’re not dating John Proctor?”

“They kept bugging me about it. They were all like, ‘What did we even bring you back for? What are you doing with your afterlife? Why don’t you settle down instead of always time traveling and haunting the creepy raven enthusiast?’ I got so sick of it I told them I was seeing someone, and they asked to meet him, so…” She fought the urge to roll her eyes at his still blank face. He really could be remarkably clueless for the guy who discovered time travel. “So, will you come with me to my parents’ and pretend to be my boyfriend? Just for Christmas,” she added quickly. “My parents are totally used to my relationships only lasting a few days anyway. I wouldn’t have been surprised if one of them had died of shock on my wedding day instead of…anyway, I can tell them we broke up if they ask about you again. But hopefully if you come over for Christmas dinner, that will get them off my back for the time being. So will you do it?”

To HG’s immense surprise, his immediate reaction was disappointment that she wasn’t asking him on a real date. Then he mentally shook himself. He wasn’t sure how he felt about Lenore, he reminded himself. He enjoyed her company, certainly, and he cared about her, but he didn’t think he’d be able to handle dating her. Some of her slang made more sense now that he’d started time traveling, but he still had trouble figuring out when she was joking. And as she had said herself, her relationships usually only lasted a few days anyway. If they dated and broke up, it would ruin their friendship. So he should be relieved, he told himself, that she was only asking him to be her temporary pretend boyfriend. But he couldn’t quite convince himself. Lenore was waiting for his answer. For a moment, he considered responding with, “I’d rather go as your actual boyfriend,” but the words changed before they got to his mouth, and what he said instead was, “Why me?”

Lenore had watched him carefully as he was pondering her offer, but his expression was unreadable. She tried to respond in a way that would minimize his discomfort but maximize the possibility of a favorable outcome. “Um, because you’re one of my best friends and I thought you probably didn’t have any Christmas plans. Unless you’re, like, desperate to be around that all day.” She rolled her eyes and nodded her head toward something behind his shoulder. He whirled around to see Edgar and Annabel under a sprig of mistletoe. He hastily averted his eyes. “I mean, you don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to,” Lenore was saying, “I just thought it might be more fun than watching the continued blossoming of the love that’s more than love, or whatever.”

“Of course, Lenore. I’d be honored to be your fake boyfriend for Christmas,” he heard himself say.

The Lady Ghost looked happier than he could ever remember seeing her. “Great! Meet you at 4pm on Christmas Day in front of town hall? My parents live right near there.”

“It’s a date,” he replied automatically. “A pretend one,” he added hastily.

“There you are!” Lenore exclaimed. “I was afraid you’d decided to blow me off.

HG consulted his pocket watch. “It’s 4:01.”

“I know, but you’re usually so prompt.” She began leading the way toward her parents’ house. “I assumed your secret was that if you were ever running late, you just time traveled.”

He chuckled. “You know I don’t believe in using time travel for personal gain. I’ve always had a knack for arriving on time, even when I was alive. But today I was so focused on trying to finish your present, I lost track for a minute.”

“You didn’t have to give me anything,” she insisted.

“I doubt your parents would believe you were dating someone who wouldn’t even give you a Christmas present,” he pointed out.

“Good thing I got you something, too, or I’d be feeling really awkward right now.”

HG grinned. “So I did have to get you something.”

“No. If you hadn’t, I just wouldn’t have given you your present. Here.” She handed him the bright red and green gift bag she’d been trying to hide behind her back. “Merry Christmas, HG.”

“Thank you. Shall I open it now, or-”

“Now. Somehow I don’t think my family will fully appreciate it.”

He looked inside. “You must be joking!” he exclaimed, pulling out a pair of 23rd-century goggles and immediately slipping them over his eyes. Not only could he now see the world in sharper clarity than he’d ever seen it before, but everything was accompanied by a description. Every tree he looked at had its common and scientific name appear beside it. Each house had a list of all its residents from the time it was built to the time it would be demolished (or the year 2222, whichever was sooner). Of course, taking in the world this way while walking can be quite dangerous, and unsurprisingly HG soon tripped on the uneven pavement. Lenore caught his arm to prevent him from falling. The goggles labeled her Lenore: Lady Ghost, Ghost Lady. “Did you steal these from the future?” he asked, reluctantly removing them so he could concentrate on walking.

“Of course not; I bought them.”

“Where did you get 2222 currency?” he wondered.

“I didn’t. I also didn’t buy them in 2222.”

“But I remember these,” he insisted. “We saw them in 2222.”

“Well, yeah, that’s when they were made, but I got them in 2287 in an antique shop by trading with some other antiques I happened to have.”

“That you stole from Edgar’s house?”

“Oh, please, that guy didn’t go in his attic once the entire time I was haunting him. He’ll never miss a few useless trinkets. That’s not important anyway. Do you like your present?”

“Do you even need to ask? I hope you like yours even half as much.” From inside his jacket he produced a manuscript. “Merry Christmas, Lenore,” he said, handing it to her.

“The Timeless Adventures of Eleanor the Ghost, a novel by H.G. Wells,” Lenore read aloud.

“It’s a working title,” HG explained apologetically. “And it’s only the 17th draft so it’s probably not very good yet, but I wanted you to be the first to read it. It’s the story of a time traveling ghost named Eleanor and her trusty sidekick, G.H. Waters.”

“You wrote a novel about us!” Lenore exclaimed, eagerly flipping through the manuscript.

“Well, sort of about us. That is, I, uh, used some of our experiences as inspiration. But the characters in the story time travel to solve and prevent crimes, which is something I’ve always desired but have never quite achieved.”

“Hey, you got super close to murdering Hitler,” Lenore reminded him. “We’ll have to go back and try again sometime,” she added absent-mindedly, still skimming the manuscript in awe. Sure, Edgar had written that poem with her name in it, but he’d mostly used it as an excuse to write about ravens. HG had written a whole book…

“Are we nearly at your parents’?” HG asked, abruptly breaking her reverie.

“Oh, yeah, it’s the next house.”

HG had been afraid of that. The house she indicated was bursting with people. The front door was open, and even the porch was crowded. As the ghosts crossed the front lawn, someone cried, “It’s Lenore!” and suddenly they were surrounded by people crying, “Merry Christmas!” and “So glad you made it!” and “It’s wonderful to see you!” and “Is this the new beau we’ve heard so little about?”

Lenore spoke louder than all of them. “Everyone, this is HG Wells, my boyfriend.”

“What’s HG stand for?” someone bellowed from inside the house.

“H-H-Herbert George,” he stammered.

There was a snort of derision from the bellower. “What a terrible name.”

“It’s not so bad once you get used to it,” Lenore replied defensively. “Now, will you guys let us in to the house?” She grabbed HG by the hand and they made their way inside.

“I wasn’t expecting quite this many people,” he murmured in her ear.

She looked rather sheepish. “Yeah, sorry, I was afraid if I told you how many relatives I had, you wouldn’t come. But I mean, I didn’t know they’d all be here today.”

“Are you kidding?” asked a young woman who looked a lot like Lenore. “A chance to see our favorite ghost relative and meet her ghost boyfriend? Of course we wouldn’t miss that!”

“Okay, well, here he is. HG, meet my cousin Mary…” And so it began. HG was introduced to at least 20 cousins, a dozen uncles and aunts, a brother who looked remarkably like a mustache-less Edgar, and finally, Lenore’s parents, who had both been busy in the kitchen when they’d first arrived.

“Dinner’s nearly ready,” her mother announced to the whole house before she spotted them. “Ah, Lenore, you made it! And this must be the famous HG Wells! Welcome!”

“Thank you, madam, it’s a pleasure to meet you. And you, sir,” he added, as Lenore’s father appeared beside his wife.

“Mr. Wells, I’ve heard so much about you,” he said, shaking the ghost’s hand. “Sounds like you and Lenore have spent a lot of time together – centuries in fact!” He laughed at his own joke.

“Millenia, technically,” HG added.

“So, HG, we’ve heard a bit about your recent adventures with Lenore, but where did you two meet?”

HG was surprised that Lenore hadn’t told her mother this. “At Edgar Allan Poe’s house.”

“Oh, were you haunting him, too?”

“Why, no, it was at the dinner party.”

“Dinner party?” her mother repeated blankly.

HG looked over at Lenore, perplexed. She was shaking her head at him imploringly. It dawned on him that she hadn’t told her parents about that night, and that she didn’t want them to know about it. It was time to start inventing again. “The dinner party…that Edgar hosts…periodically to reunite dead authors.”

“Interesting. Lenore always complained that he never interacted with people,” her father commented.

“Well, not very often, but sometimes we talk him into it.” HG didn’t think he was being very convincing, but he wasn’t sure what to do about it.

Thankfully, at that moment one of Lenore’s younger cousins whined, “Are we ever gonna get some food around here?” which prompted her parents to hurry back to the kitchen.

HG beckoned Lenore off to the side. “You haven’t told them about the dinner party?” he asked incredulously.

“No, I’m sorry, I should have warned you.”

“You know how terrible I am at thinking on my feet! But more importantly, why don’t you want them to know about it?”

Lenore looked at him like he’d sprouted horns. “Oh yeah, that would be a really great conversation. ‘Hey, Mom and Dad! Remember that guy I was going to marry right before I died, who killed himself before you could bring me back? So it turns out his brother had a desperate thirst for revenge, and he went on a murderous rampage in the house I was haunting to get back at me for causing his brother’s death. It’s all good, though, because most of his victims came back as ghosts, and everything’s fine now!’ Yeah, no, kind of desperate to avoid that chat.”

“Eddie didn’t only do that because of you,” HG pointed out.

“No, but I was a significant contributing factor. And I really don’t want them to think I got you all killed just so I’d have more ghost friends.”

“Who would think that?” he wondered.

“You don’t?”

“Of course not. Did you really think I blamed you for my death?” he asked, but at that moment dinner was served and the whole crowd started moving en masse to the dining room, giving Lenore an excuse not to answer.

The dinner smelled delicious. Two gigantic tables were piled with goose, turkey, ham, roasted vegetables, potatoes, pies of every flavor imaginable…HG piled it on his plate and took a bite. If he concentrated hard enough, he could very nearly almost taste it. He could tell it was scrumptious, but it wasn’t the same.

HG watched Lenore, who was sitting across from him. She looked as though she was thinking similar thoughts as she took her first bite. He began to ponder as he continued to gaze at her. She’d never told him how she felt about that night. Did she really blame herself for his death? It had never occurred to him that what happened was anyone’s fault other than Eddie, Charlotte, and Anne. He didn’t even think Guy’s death was her fault. Eddie had been utterly irrational to blame her for that. She didn’t purposely break his heart, any more than he, HG, had purposely inhaled that smoke…

Suddenly a loud clang interrupted his thoughts. He jumped; so did several other people. All the conversations had stopped, and everyone seemed to be staring at him. He looked down at his plate and realized what must have happened. He’d forgotten to concentrate on holding his fork, and it had fallen through his hand. Sometimes being a ghost was the worst. He wanted to hide under the table. But then there was another clang, and everyone turned to stare at Lenore, who had just dropped her fork as well.

“What?” Lenore asked, picking her fork up and continuing to eat as if nothing had happened. “Oh, sorry I forgot what time period I was in. In the future there’s this custom to always drop your fork after the first bite of a great meal. HG and I just came from there, so we haven’t readjusted yet.”

She winked at him, and for once he understood, though ordinarily he would have been confused by her reference to a tradition that didn’t actually exist. He smiled at her gratefully.

From then on, incredibly, miraculously, despite the surfeit of people, HG had a wonderful evening. Lenore’s relatives kept asking him questions, mostly about him and Lenore, but he found them surprisingly easy to answer. He could come up with dozens of things he liked about her, and several anecdotes about their adventures. But he never felt too much pressure to talk, and the family seemed to understand that he needed to just sit and listen some of the time. But then he found out that Lenore’s father was a bit of a history buff, and the two of them had a long conversation about various events that HG had witnessed in his travels.

Far and away the best parts of the evening for HG were those moments when he caught Lenore’s eye every time someone made an unintentional reference to one of their inside jokes. HG hadn’t realized how many they had. After about the tenth time they looked at each other and chuckled, Lenore’s father commented that he’d never seen her anywhere near as happy as she looked at that moment.

Before HG knew it, the party was breaking up. Lenore kissed her parents goodbye, then slipped her arm through his and together the two ghosts strolled down the street. When they were out of earshot from all of her relatives, she said, “Thanks HG. That was fun.”

“It was,” he agreed, chuckling nervously. “Certainly the best pretend date I’ve ever been on.”

“Yeah, me too.”

He took a deep breath and summoned all his courage. “Perhaps we should try a real date sometime.”

She stopped walking. He couldn’t look at her, terrified that he’d gone too far. But then she responded with the most beautiful four words he had ever heard: “Does tomorrow night work?”

#poe party secret santa #roxymoron101 #poe party #poeparty #wellenore

31 notes · View notes

aion-rsa · 4 years ago

Text

Darkwing Duck and the Slow Building of the Disney Afternoon Universe

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This DuckTales article contains spoilers for the recent Darkwing Duck special.

The people behind the new DuckTales are massive fans of Darkwing Dark. You can’t deny it after the recent big “crossover” episode aired on Disney, which finally brought Darkwing and his extended cast fully into the story of DuckTales. It featured a deeply compelling story about Darkwing, Gosalyn, and Launchpad, furthered DuckTales‘ current story arc, AND tons of references, big and small, to Darkwing and the Disney Afternoon.

Putting together an episode like that is not easy so we had to sit down with DuckTales Co-Executive Producer Frank Angones and Executive Producer Matt Youngberg to discuss the genesis of the episode, how they adapted Darkwing’s tone to DuckTales, and what this all means for the future of the “Disney Afternoon Universe.”

Den of Geek: Would you say that all of the new DuckTales has been leading to this Darkwing Duck episode? It feels like everything that you’ve done, all these episodes, has led to this moment.

Matt Youngberg: We’ve always joked that DuckTales was Frank’s long game for Darkwing Duck. It was very early on that I knew that as much as Frank loved DuckTales, he loved Darkwing Duck. There’s a different level of love. We always knew Darkwing was going to be an important part of the series. That was established in the first season. It was important to be able to combine it with DuckTales in a way that was very natural and that came through Launchpad.

Frank Angones: Everyone else is an incidental character building to this exact moment. You’ll never see the McDuck family again. It’s just this for the rest of the season. (laughs) No, no. Here’s the thing, DuckTales is a crown jewel. It’s a crown jewel of Disney Television Animation. It’s a crown jewel for Disney Scrooge and Carl Barks. Practically invented the adventure genre for the next 100 years. In season three we started talking a lot about legacy. Part of the legacy of DuckTales is the Disney Afternoon. That was the one that cracked it. Without DuckTales, you don’t get Darkwing and Rescue Rangers and Tailspin and Bonkers and all these other things. The idea of paying homage to that legacy by having these Disney Afternoon characters become more and more prevalent (in the new DuckTales.)

Also, just as we’ve gone through the season, we’ve been asking the question, who are you going to be from now on? What’s your next thing? As the family’s been adventuring together, they’re trying to figure it out, all the characters. We saw that with Lena. We saw that with Gyro. We saw that with Huey, we’ll see that with other characters coming up.

This was the natural evolution. We always introduced Darkwing within the context of Launchpad and Launchpad was introduced as a huge fan of Darkwing Duck as a kid. Then he got to meet the actor playing Darkwing Duck and then he got to meet a different actor playing Darkwing Duck and went through all this meta nonsense. We could only do Darkwing at this point in time, as the evolution (of) Darkwing Duck is very much a part of Launchpad’s legacy as a character. It’s essentially him starting his own adventure family. That was really exciting. It was both a shockingly difficult and shockingly easy episode to write.

Frank, I remember you posting on Twitter way back when Darkwing first showed up in DuckTales about how you’ve had ideas how to combine Darkwing and DuckTales since you were a kid. Was this alternate reality plot part of that idea?

Frank: Yes and no. Here’s the thing, DuckTales was grounded in golden age pulp adventure type stuff, right? Darkwing was always grounded in silver age superheroes and the multiverse is a huge part of that, right? Within just the original Darkwing Duck show, there was the regular universe and the Negaverse and Darkwing had 20 different origin stories, depending on how Tad (Stones) was feeling that day. It became interesting to me as we were talking about the core story that I had, as we do with all things in DuckTales, is we want it to build these characters as three-dimensional characters based off of the things that we knew about them. Part of the thing that we knew about Darkwing was that he was an egomaniac. We were like, well, why is he an egomaniac? It’s like, oh, he was an actor. That made sense.

I always said that the story of Darkwing Duck as a show is a story of a father, a daughter, and a Launchpad. It’s that family, it’s that trio. To explore in the last (DuckTales) episode that introduced Drake and his reasoning for wanting to become Darkwing is selfish. He wants to be the superhero that he was as a kid and have that legacy and so much of it as caught up in the catchphrases and the motorcycle with his face on it and all that kind of stuff. Then the question was okay, but who is this really for? That’s where we introduced the idea of Gosalyn.

This is the story of a girl who, it seems like she’s just out for herself and she’s learning how to trust other people. It’s the story of a girl becoming a hero and a hero becoming a dad and it speaks to what Darkwing’s legacy is going to be and also what Launchpad’s legacy is going to be.

You mentioned how this episode was both shockingly easy to put together but also hard in a lot of other ways. It’s an episode that could have so easily devolved into only references, or just becomes a Darkwing episode guest starring Dewey. What was the balancing act of making sure that this is still 2017 DuckTales, but also, we’re bringing in all these Darkwing elements as well?

Matt: I think a big key for that was setting it as our mid-season tentpole for DuckTales. That made it really clear that it needed to be a DuckTales episode because from this two-parter we really set up the rest of the season. That doesn’t mean that Darkwing and Gosalyn are the main reason for the second part of the season, it’s still DuckTales from here on out. They’ll pop up, but it had to be a DuckTales episode first, that was the main thing. Even if Darkwing and Gosalyn get more screen time, the reason for the existence of this episode needed to carry the story arc that we’d been working on for the first part of the season and then kind of give it that change up that pushes the narrative for the second part of the season. That was the main driver of the episode.

Frank: It makes sense within the larger context of the narrative of the season, not just in terms of legacy, but also in terms of all of these Disney Afternoon characters who keep popping up and forming this Disney Afternoon Universe that we’re trying to cultivate. Part of the challenge of it, on top of trying to do justice to the original Darkwing show and ‘Darkly Dawns the Duck,’ which is the single greatest written episode of Disney Television Afternoon content ever, is the challenge of making it a part of DuckTales and making Darkwing a character in DuckTales. Tonally DuckTales and Darkwing are actually very different, right? Darkwing is so slap sticky, fourth wall breaking, but still grounded and the thing they share is that notion of comedy at heart. We don’t do a ton of cartoon slapstick on DuckTales.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

We do a lot with Donald because that’s part of his DNA. So we had to figure out what is cartoon slapstick and what are these stories within a DuckTales context? Matt was the one who stumbled upon, oh, he’s Jackie Chan. He gets punched and he gets two punches for every one he throws. He’s always overwhelmed and he’ll take a lot of pain, but he’ll keep fighting. You love to see him get hurt, but you want to see him win. That became a big part of, not just how do we introduce the narrative of Darkwing and those characters within the context of our show and to the larger Disney Afternoon Universe as a whole, but also how do we adjust the tone of that show to fit within the tone of our show, was a really interesting challenge.

DuckTales airs Mondays at 7 p.m. ET on Disney XD.

The post Darkwing Duck and the Slow Building of the Disney Afternoon Universe appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3dHmBwN

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

0 notes

centerofstupidity · 7 years ago

Text

A Walk to Remember Chapter 1 Snark

If you enjoy the content you are reading, please like and follow the Center of Stupidity blog.

Interested in reading the previous A Walk to Remember chapter snarks? They can be found here.

Next Nicholas Sparks Book Snark: The Rescue

Chapter summary: We meet a Bible-thumping minister and Landon is a terrible person. Also, the designated love interest is an Angel of the House: innocent, perfect, and pure.

The story is set in Beaufort, North Carolina in 1958.

Landon says that the humidity is so hot in the summer that “walking out to get the mail made a person feel as if he needed a shower.”

People waved from their cars whenever they saw someone on the street whether they knew him or not,

In a Nicholas Sparks, everyone is friendly, good, and God-fearing Christians. (The villain is always one-dimensional.)

They know each other’s business and have lived in town for their entire lives. And news always travels fast in the small town.

Landon says for many people fishing and crabbing is a way of life.

Only three channels came in on the television, though television was never important to those of us who grew up there. Instead our lives were centered around the churches, of which there were eighteen within the town limits alone.

1. Yes, I know that Americans were more religious in the 1950’s. 2. But they still had a life outside of a church and weren’t thinking about Jesus 24/7. 3. People went camping and fishing. They also went to bowling alleys, sock hops, and drive-in movie theaters. 4. For most of the story, Landon isn’t very religious. He goes to church but that’s it. And Landon regards a girl who reads the Bible every day as a weirdo. 5. The only time Landon became religious is when he supposedly fell in love with Jamie. 6. It is important to remember that Nicholas Sparks has writing rules that he won’t break like all of his characters must go to church. 7. And he has said that people without faith are alone, thinking they are the center of the universe.

Landon rattles off the names and types of Baptist churches in the area.

The big event of the year is a Christmas play sponsored by the Baptist church downtown and the local high school.

The play is written by Hegbert Sullivan, “a minister who’d been with the church since Moses parted the Red Sea."

Okay, maybe he wasn’t that old, but he was old enough that you could almost see through the guy’s skin. It was sort of clammy all the time, and translucent—kids would swear they actually saw the blood flowing through his veins—

Translucent skin… Translu…

“His skin was translucently white, like onionskin, and it looked just as delicate—” New Moon by Stephenie Meyer

So Hegbert is a sparklepire? Good to know.

and his hair was as white as those bunnies you see in pet stores around Easter.

Wow. Just wow. The prose is so boring and bland.

And Nicholas Sparks thinks he writes like Ernest Hemingway…

Also, what seventeen-year-old boy would say “bunnies”?

Hebert wrote the play The Christmas Angel because he hates A Christmas Carol.

In his mind, Scrooge was a heathen, who came to his redemption only because he saw ghosts, not angels—and who was to say whether they’d been sent by God, anyway?

I hate to break it to ya but both ghosts and angels are spirits.

The only difference is that a ghost is a human spirit that has not properly passed over to the other side and they remain on earth while angels are spiritual beings of light.

And who was to say he wouldn’t revert to his sinful ways if they hadn’t been sent directly from heaven?

Um… If the ghosts weren’t sent from Heaven, then where did they come from?

Baptists don’t believe in purgatory. After death, they believe that there are only two places where people can go: Heaven or Hell.

Unless the minister thinks the ghosts are demons in disguise.

It won’t make any sense because the three spirits are trying to get Scrooge to repent and be a better person.

The play didn’t exactly tell you in the end—it sort of plays into faith and all—

Maybe Charles Dickens didn’t think he had to spell it out in 72 pt Times New Roman font.

but Hegbert didn’t trust ghosts if they weren’t actually sent by God, which wasn’t explained in plain language, and this was his big problem with it.

1. And where is the proof that they are not sent by God? 2. Faith is about believing without seeing and not demanding proof. 3. And Christians who deepen their faith learn how to discern between the voice of God, the voice of Satan, and one’s ego. 4. Is Hegbert pissed off at Charles Dickens because the ghosts didn’t say ”I am the ghost of Christmas (past/present/future) and I was sent by God the Father Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth"? 5. Because following that logic, the Archangel Raphael was not sent by God. 6. In The Book of Tobit, the Archangel Raphael didn’t reveal his identity until Tobit cures his father’s blindness. For most of the story, Tobit knew the Archangel Raphael as Azariah the son of Hananiah the great.

A few years back he’d changed the end of the play—sort of followed it up with his own version, complete with old man Scrooge becoming a preacher and all, heading off to Jerusalem to find the place where Jesus once taught the scribes.

Unsurprisingly, nobody liked the play so Hegbert decided to write his own play.

He’d written his own sermons his whole life, and some of them, we had to admit, were actually interesting, especially when he talked about the “wrath of God coming down on the fornicators” and all that good stuff.

A fire and brimstone minister.

N. Sparks will claim later on that he has a great sense of humor and we are supposed to see him as a great guy.

Because we all know fire and brimstone ministers are not anti-semitic, homophobic, islamophobic, misogynistic, racist, sexist and xenophobic pieces of shit.

That really got his blood boiling, I’ll tell you, when he talked about the fornicators. That was his real hot spot.

“And don’t get him started on those Commies and sodomites."

So Landon and his friends hid behind trees and shouting that Hegbert is a fornicator before walking down the street.

We’d giggle like idiots, like we were the wittiest creatures ever to inhabit the planet.

Landon is following Anita Blake's logic: If you do something wrong, just say you feel bad about it, and continue being a terrible person. And nobody will dare tell you to STOP being an asshole.

Old Hegbert, he’d stop dead in his tracks and his ears would perk up—I swear to God, they actually moved—and he’d turn this bright shade of red, like he’d just drunk gasoline, and the big green veins in his neck would start sticking out all over, like those maps of the Amazon River that you see in National Geographic.

1. So Hegbert is a mog too? (Virtual cupcake to anyone who gets that reference.) 2. I know that some people can wiggle their ears. Because humans can't perk their ears up like a dog.

Hegbert is pissed off and he is looking for them.

Boy, it was something to watch, that’s for sure.

"Being an asshole is a lot of fun!"

So the assholes are hiding behind a tree. Landon sneers "what kind of parents name their kid Hegbert, anyway?" and Hegbert is standing there, waiting for them to "to give ourselves up, as if he thought we’d be that stupid."

They cover their mouths with their hands and Hegbert always knows where to find them.

Hegbert tells them that he along with the Lord knows "who you are". And a minute later, Hegbert walks away.

During the sermon that weekend he’d stare right at us and say something like “God is merciful to children, but the children must be worthy as well.”

"But subject you to pain, unpleasantness -- suffering -- and you will take notice, you will fight to overcome, to earn your redemption. That is when you're at your best." Gabriel from Constantine 2005.

I think Gabriel and Hegbert should go bowling.

The assholes lower themselves in seats "not from embarrassment, but to hide a new round of giggles."

Landon says that Hegbert didn't understand us "didn’t understand us at all, which was really sort of strange, being that he had a kid and all."

But then again, she was a girl. More on that, though, later.

"Girls are ladylike and only like cute and pretty things. And tomboys don't exist."

Landon repeats the fact that Hegbert is the one who wrote The Christmas Angel and decided to put on the play.

He says that the play isn't bad and this surprised everyone the first year it was performed.

I am putting on my jeweled turban and gaze into my crystal ball.

It's about Hegbert Tom Thorton who had lost his wife in childbirth and is raising a daughter all on his own.

It will also be sappy like a Hallmark movie. Aren't I awesome?

He hasn't been the greatest father and his daughter wants a special music box for Christmas. He can't find the box and meets an angel disguised as a woman on Christmas Eve.

The angel promises to help him to get the gift for his daughter. Along the way, they help a homeless person and Landon is quick to say that "back then they were called bums".

Tom tells the angel that he wants his wife back for Christmas. The angel tells him to look into the city fountain and he'll find what he is looking for.

Tom cries after seeing the face of his daughter. The angel is MIA and Tom heads home.

He realizes he hasn't been a good father and that his daughter is all he has left of his wife.

The story ends with the music box underneath the tree and the angel on the box looks exactly like the mysterious woman.

Landon repeats that the play "wasn't that bad".

Apparently, the play sold out every year and people "cried buckets" every time they saw it.

Hegbert wants seniors in high school to perform the play and not the theater group.

I reckon he thought it would be a good learning experience before the seniors headed off to college and came face-to-face with all the fornicators.

Unless these seniors want to become actors, how is performing a play count as "good learning experience"?

And how does performing a Christmas give the students the information to deal with "fornicators"?

I'm getting the impression that Nicholas Sparks thinks that men and women in the past were BOTH expected to stay celibate before marriage.

But that's not the case. Men weren't expected to remain virgins.

Men could have extramarital affairs, have longtime mistresses, and even have sex with other men. And guys would get away with it as long as they didn't flaunt them in public.

Women were expected to celibate until they were married. It took an unchaperoned visit or ONE sexual affair for a woman to be considered a whore.

He was that kind of guy, you know, always wanting to save us from temptation.

"Remember boys and girls: premarital sex is wrong!"

He wanted us to know that God is out there watching you, even when you’re away from home, and that if you put your trust in God, you’ll be all right in the end.

Riiight.

Because the same minister who gives fire and brimstone sermons would be the sort of person that would talk about God watching over you and if you trust Him, then things will be all right.

I think the minister would most likely say "God is always watching your every move. If you are bad, He will smite you. And your soul will burn in Hell for all eternity."

It was a lesson that I would eventually learn in time, though it wasn’t Hegbert who taught me.

"It would be my designated love interest."

Landon says that Beaufort is a typical southern town but it has an interesting history.

He talks about how Blackbeard owned a house in town and recently his ship might have been found by "some archaeologists or oceanographers or whoever looks for stuff like that."

Landon, they are called marine archaeologists.

Being that it sank over 250 years ago and you can’t exactly reach into the glove compartment and check the registration.

Because a pirate ship would have a glove box.

I think that comment sounded wittier in Nicholas Spark’s head than it does on paper.

Beaufort’s come a long way since the 1950s, but it’s still not exactly a major metropolis or anything.

We get it, Landon. Beaufort is a quaint and small southern town.

Beaufort was, and always will be, on the smallish side, but when I was growing up, it barely warranted a place on the map.

For the love of all that is holy, will you please stop talking about the same thing over and over again?

Landon keeps talking about how Beaufort is a small town and how "the congressional district that included Beaufort covered the entire eastern part of the state—some twenty thousand square miles—and there wasn’t a single town with more than twenty-five thousand people."

It turns out that Landon's father is a congressman.

I suppose you’ve heard of him. He’s sort of a legend, even now.

If he was a legend, then you wouldn't be telling us who he is.

Landon's father is Worth Carter and he was a congressman for almost thirty years.

Worth's election slogan is “Worth Carter represents ———” and people are supposed to fill in the city name where they lived.

I can remember, driving on trips when me and Mom had to make our appearances to show the people he was a true family man

I call bullshit on Landon's dad being a "true family man".

Landon's father is gone nine months out of the year and is living in Washington D.C. while his mother is taking care of him.

Landon talks about how his father election slogan "was fairly sophisticated publicity."

He says that nowadays people would put foul language in the blank space but in the good ol' days "we never saw it once."

Landon quickly backpedals and says "okay, maybe once."

A farmer from Duplin County once wrote the word shit in the blank space, and when my mom saw it, she covered my eyes and said a prayer asking for forgiveness for the poor ignorant bastard.

Nicholas Sparks is still trying to persuade me that 1950's was a wholesome utopia.

But I'm not convinced.

Every era of human history, no matter how fascinating or glamorous, has a dark side that people don't want to acknowledge.

And I find it very hard to believe that Landon has never seen or heard foul language before.

For instance, in middle school, I heard people say things that would make even a sailor blush.

Since Landon's mother is ladylike, she "didn’t say exactly those words."

So my father, Mr. Congressman, was a big-wig, and everyone but everyone knew it, including old man Hegbert.

Landon claimed that daddy dearest was a "legend."

And Merriam-Webster defines a bigwig as "an important person"

So the words "everyone but everyone knew it" is redundant.

Worth Carter and Hegbert don't get along. But Worth still goes to Hegbert's church whenever he was in town.

Hegbert, in addition to his belief that fornicators were destined to clean the urinals in hell, also believed that communism was “a sickness that doomed mankind to heathenhood.”

I will bring this up if anyone claims that Hegbert is a good guy.

One of the biggest problems with A Walk to Remember is plot mixing.

What is plot mixing, you may ask?

Plot mixing is a term that I have coined. Plot mixing is when an artist takes at least two contradictory plots and they mix it together haphazardly, resulting in a ghastly mess.

For instance, Hegbert is supposed to be a wonderful guy with a great sense of humor. But he is acting like a Bible-thumping minister.

They also knew that he was directing his words specifically to my father, who would sit with his eyes closed and pretend not to listen.

I have just a quick question: why would Landon's dad go to a church where the minister despises him and makes pointed sermons?

According to Landon, there are other churches in the area. So, why hasn't Worth Carter left Hegbert's church and joined another church?

It turns out that Landon's father belongs to the House of Un-American Activities Committee.

My father had consistently looked for facts, which were irrelevant to people like Hegbert.

IRL, I hate it when people think they are the gatekeepers of knowledge, truth, and wisdom.

They also claim that they have "facts" that support their worldviews.

If anyone who disagrees with them, then they are dumb sheep and a racist bigot.

Are we seriously supposed to see HUAC as the good guys?

HUAC ruined people's lives and careers. And their actions violated the 1st and 5th Amendments of the Bill of Rights.

Every time Landon's father would come home after the church service, he would complain about Reverend Sullivan.

My father tried to defuse situations whenever possible. I think that’s why he stayed in Congress for so long.

Like any politician, a congressperson gives people in high places verbal blowjobs and make promises that they have no intentions of keeping along with having goons to cover up their crimes.

The guy could kiss the ugliest babies known to mankind and still come up with something nice to say.

Are we supposed to applaud Landon's dad being nice to the "ugly" people?

“He’s such a gentle child,” he’d say when a baby had a giant head, or, “I’ll bet she’s the sweetest girl in the world,” if she had a birthmark over her entire face. One time a lady showed up with a kid in a wheelchair. My father took one look at him and said, “I’ll bet you ten to one that you’re smartest kid in your class.”

Fuck this book with a rusty screwdriver!

And he wasn’t such a bad guy, not really, especially if you consider the fact that he didn’t beat me or anything.

A parent is not supposed to abuse their children, you twat!

But he wasn’t there for me growing up.

In a better story, Landon being estranged from his father would be a source of conflict.

And throughout the story, Landon would fix his broken relationship with his father.

But this is a shitty story, Landon will meet his designated one tru luv who is purer than Sir Galahad.

Landon spends time with this girl and his relationship with Dad is magically mended.

I hate to say that because nowadays people claim that sort of stuff even if their parent was around and use it to excuse their behavior. I’m not using it to excuse the person I’ve become, I’m simply saying it as a fact.

No, you did.

You even said it "made me become something of a rebel."

My mother didn’t go with him because both of them wanted me to grow up “the same way they had.”

So they were raised by one parent?

Wait a tick... I think what Landon means is that his parents wanted him to grow up in a small town.

And small towns tend to be politically conservative.

As a member of HUAC, a married man living alone would raise more than a few eyebrows.

Especially since the nuclear family was considered the "ideal" family in 1950's.

Also during this time period, people wanted to uphold traditional family roles and values.

I'm sure Worth Carter's political opponents would have a field day if they knew he wasn't a family man.

And you can't tell me that in a Southern small-town that people won't gossip about a married woman raising a child all by herself and her husband is rarely home.

Landon says that his grandfather spent time with his father and how that "adds up to quite a bit before adulthood."

Landon talks about how his father was "a stranger" and someone he "barely knew at all."

He also used to think that "all fathers lived somewhere else."

Landon says that one day his best friend Eric Hunter asks him "who that guy was who showed up at my house".

Landon replies that the man was his father "proudly."

“Oh,” Eric said as he rifled through my lunchbox, looking for my Milky Way, “I didn’t know you had a father.”

"People around town were saying that your mamma was a whore and has a beau."

Landon repeats the fact that he was raised by his mother.

Now she was a nice lady, sweet and gentle, the kind of mother most people dream about.

Because most people want their mother to be a cold-hearted bitch.

Does Landon seriously think that his mother deserves a medal for not being an asshole?

And I'm getting the feeling that dear old mom is going to be a submissive housewife who never speaks her mind, makes sure the house is always immaculate and treats her husband like a king.

But she wasn’t, nor could she ever be, a manly influence in my life, and that fact, coupled with my growing disillusionment with my father, made me become something of a rebel, even at a young age.

Where do I even begin?

According to Landon, women are incapable of doing/liking "manly" activities.

Butch women or tomboys don't exist. ALL women love feminine things and are ladylike.

And it takes a MAN to raise a "real" man.

The father is supposed to do "manly" activities with his son on a regular basis. And boys are supposed to do and like "manly" activities.

If the boy doesn't and becomes a delinquent, then he is a sissy and his mother is to blame.

Not a bad one, mind you.

This is a Nicholas Sparks novel.

He would never have a "protagonist" do bad things. He has a wholesome image to uphold.

They must be good as gold or be mildly delinquent.

Me and my friends might sneak out late and soap up car windows now and then or eat boiled peanuts in the graveyard behind the church, but in the fifties that was the kind of thing that made other parents shake their heads and whisper to their children, “You don’t want to be like that Carter boy. He’s on the fast track to prison.”

Contrary to what Nicholas Sparks might believe, the 1950's wasn't Leave it to Beaver.

For instance, people did phone pranks, threw cherry bombs or were stealing statues.

Me. A bad boy. For eating boiled peanuts in the graveyard. Go figure.

Landon repeats the fact that his father and Hegbert don't get along. But he says "it wasn’t only because of politics."

And then it happens.

It turns out that Worth Carter and Hegbert knew each other for a long time.

And Hegbert is twenty years older than Daddy Dearest and used to work for Landon's grandfather.

My grandfather— even though he spent lots of time with my father —was a true bastard if there ever was one.

I have a question, Landon. Does your grandfather only wears black clothing and has an evil laugh?

He was the one, by the way, who made the family fortune, but I don’t want you to imagine him as the sort of man who slaved over his business, working diligently and watching it grow, prospering slowly over time.

We get it, Nicholas Sparks. Landon's grandpa is more evil and greedy than all the robber barons.

Next, you'll be telling us that grandpa was a pedophile or kicked puppies for fun.

His grandfather was a bootlegger during the Prohibition, started buying land and then hired sharecroppers to work it.

Grandpa also took ninety percent of the money the sharecroppers made and loaned them money whenever they needed it at high-interest rates.

Grandpa is so EVIL he forecloses on any equipment or land they happen to own. Evil Grandpa...

No. From now on, I'm calling him Grandpa Beelzebub or GB.

GB started a bank called "Carter Banking and Loan."

The only other bank in a two-county radius had mysteriously burned down, and with the onset of the Depression, it never reopened.

The other bank didn't "mysteriously" burn down, you twit. GB had his goons torch the place.

Though everyone knew what had really happened, not a word was ever spoken for fear of retribution, and their fear was well placed.

So even the police were shaking in their boots?

The bank wasn't the only building that burned down.

Landon repeats the fact that Grandpa Beelzebub's interest rates "were outrageous." As time progresses, GB amasses more land and property.

He gets the original owners to continue working and pays them just enough money to "to keep them where they were, because they had nowhere else to go."

He told them that when the economy improved, he’d sell their business back to them, and people always believed him.

The townspeople know that GB used fear and intimidation to get what he wanted along with his shady business practices.

And they ALL believed that he would honor his promises.

Never once, however, did he keep his promise. In the end he controlled a vast portion of the county’s economy, and he abused his clout in every way imaginable.

Ya know what?

There are so many times I can point out how Grandpa Beelzebub is cartoonishly evil so I'll let this gif speak for itself.

Grandpa Beelzebub died while having sex with his mistress on his yacht in the Cayman Islands. GB was also an old man.

He’d outlived both his wives and his only son.

If Daddy Dearest died before GB, he wouldn't be a prominent congressman.

And Landon would have never met his father.

He would be visiting Daddy's grave and be raised by a widow.

Life, I’ve learned, is never fair.

Marvel at how deep he is! No one has ever made such a wise statement.

Landon whines that it should be taught in school.

Hegbert, once he realized what a bastard my grandfather really was,

You mean arson and usury are not legal and moral? I never knew that!

Thanks for letting me know, Nicholas Sparks!

So, Hegbert quit working for GB and went into the ministry. Then he started ministering in the same church that Landon's family attended.

Hegbert spent some time "perfecting his fire-and brimstone act", giving monthly sermons on the evils of greed.

He was so busy Bible thumping that he had "scant time for anything else."

Hegbert was forty-three when he was married and his daughter Jamie was born when he was fifty-five.

Hegbert's wife was twenty-three years old and had six miscarriages before Jamie was born. She also died in childbirth.

Hence, of course, the story behind the play.

I love it when I'm right. And Hegbert is so arrogant if he thinks that everyone would want to see a play that is his thinly veiled life story.

People knew the story even before the play was first performed.

If it was any more obvious, the character Tom would be called Hegbert and be a minister.

It was one of those stories that made its rounds whenever Hegbert had to baptize a baby or attend a funeral.

Baptists don't baptize babies. They believe that only believers should be baptized and be fully immersed in the water.

Landon repeats the fact that everyone knew about Hegbert's story and says it is why people "got emotional" when they saw the play.

They knew it was based on something that happened in real life, which gave it special meaning.

So if a story isn't based on something that happened in real life, then it isn't special? Fuck you, Landon.

Jamie Sullivan was a senior in high school, just like me, and she’d already been chosen to play the angel, not that anyone else even had a chance.

I would be very surprised if Jamie WASN'T in the play.

After all, the play was written by her father and is a thinly veiled story about her dad losing her mom.

And real subtle, Nicholas Sparks.

A saintly girl is going to play an angel.

Thank God, Jamie isn't named Sunshine Goodness.

Jamie playing the angel is going to make the play "extra special" and how it is going to be a "big deal" especially for Miss Garber.

Miss Garber is the drama teacher and she was excited "the first time I met her in class."

Landon admits that he really didn't want to take drama class but it was "either that or chemistry II."

No papers, no tests, no tables where I’d have to memorize protons and neutrons and combine elements in their proper formulas … what could possibly be better for a high school senior?

How about lunch? All you have to do is eat and socialize.

It seemed like a sure thing, and when I signed up for it, I thought I’d just be able to sleep through most every class, which, considering my late night peanut eating, was fairly important at the time.

Why am I getting the feeling that "late night peanut eating" is a euphemism for sex? Because eating peanuts is not a strenuous thing to do...

Landon arrives before the bell rang and sits in the back of the room.

Miss Garber had her back turned to the class, and she was busy writing her name in big cursive letters, as if we didn’t know who she was.

You just said that you met Miss Garber for the first time in class.

Now you are saying that you already knew her.

Which is it, Landon?

All these contradictions are giving me a headache.

Everyone knew her—it was impossible not to.

"She was bludgeoned with the ugly stick."

Am I the only one who thinks this comment is catty?

She was big, at least six feet two, with flaming red hair and pale skin that showed her freckles well into her forties.

The word "tall" seems like a better fit.

Big is used to describe the size of something.

While "tall" refers to the height of something.

I seriously hope that Landon isn't saying that this woman is "ugly".

She was also overweight—I’d say honestly she pushed two fifty—and she had a fondness for wearing flower patterned muumuus. She had thick, dark, horn-rimmed glasses, and she greeted everyone with, “Helloooooo,” sort of singing the last syllable.

Translation: she's a fat Julia Child who wears glasses.

From now on, I shall call Miss Garber Julia Child.

Miss Garber was one of a kind, that’s for sure, and she was single, which made it even worse.

Stop! Do not pass go! Do not collect $200!

A guy, no matter how old, couldn’t help but feel sorry for a gal like her.

Because after all, beauty on the outside is the only thing that matters.

Being a good human being and having a nice personality is overrated.

Later on, Landon complains that "the pickings were getting pretty slim" and how he doesn't want to be stuck bringing an "ugly" girl to the homecoming dance (i.e. girls who have thick glasses or have lisps.)

People praise Nicholas Sparks for writing wholesome fiction that has life lessons and good morals.

But I would rather read a story that has swearing (Ow! My virgin ears!) or graphic sex (gasp!) than a story with shitty messages and it is written by a pretentious writer who believes that they write literary masterpieces.

Julia Child writes the three goals that she wants to accomplish: self-confidence, self-awareness, and self-fulfillment.

Landon remarks that she was "into the 'self' stuff."

Maybe it had something to do with the way she looked; maybe she was just trying to feel better about herself. But I digress.

It wasn’t until the class started that I noticed something unusual.

"Everyone wore black cloaks and pledged their allegiance to Satan."

Landon is surprised that the class is "at least ninety percent female" because he "knew for a fact" that school is split 50/50 between boys and girls.

There was only one other male in the class, which to my thinking was a good thing, and for a moment I felt flush with a “look out world, here I come” kind of feeling.

The schools in Beaufort NC have excellent math programs...

I don't feel like spending hours trying to look up the average high school class size in North Carolina during the 1950's.

So I'll be using the current average high school class size in North Carolina.

According to this, the average class size for secondary school (high school) in North Carolina is 25.8 students.

Let's say there are twenty-six students in the drama class.

91% of 26 would be 23.66

Approximately, there would be 23 girls and 3 boys.

Besides Landon, there would be two other boys in the classroom.

Girls, girls, girls … I couldn’t help but think. Girls and girls and no tests in sight.

It is good to know that Landon is thinking with his head and not with his dick.

Okay, so I wasn’t the most forward-thinking guy on the block.

Anita Blake Logic # 2: If you say something wrong, act like you are feeling guilty.

You DON'T try to be a better person and APOLOGIZE to the person/people that you have hurt. No one EVER calls you out on your shit.

So Julia Child talks about the play and tells everyone that Jamie is going to play the angel.

She starts clapping and it turns out that she is a member of Landon's church.

And there were a lot of people who thought she was gunning for Hegbert in a romantic sort of way. The first time I heard it, I remember thinking that it was a good thing they were too old to have children, if they ever did get together. Imagine—translucent with freckles?

The very thought gave everyone shudders, but of course, no one ever said anything about it, at least within hearing distance of Miss Garber and Hegbert.

So everyone is an asshole and gossips like fishwives?

Gossip is one thing, hurtful gossip is completely another, and even in high school we weren’t that mean.

"Like Duloc, the South is a perfect place!"

I'm sorry but I don't believe that a high school with no cliques and everyone is nice exists.

Landon is a douchebag and so are his friends.

Also, how is gossiping about Thank God Hegbert and Julia Child can't reproduce count as not being "mean"?

And the townspeople talk about Hegbert's wife having multiple miscarriages and dying in childbirth...

And for a novel that is so friggin' preachy by constantly talking about God's plan/the Lord's plan and quoting Bible verses...

It doesn't realize that the Good Book doesn't view gossip as a venial sin while "hurtful" gossip is a mortal sin.

The Bible denounces it.

Julia Child keeps on clapping until everyone finally joined in. She orders Jamie to stand up.

Jamie stands up and turns around. Julia Child is clapping even faster to which Landon snidely remarks "as if she were standing in the presence of a bona fide movie star."

Now Jamie Sullivan was a nice girl. She really was.

Translation: It's a pleasant way to say that she isn't attractive.

Landon talks about the town only has one elementary school so everyone has been "in the same classes our entire lives."

He admits to having a "few conversations" with Jamie.

Who I saw in school was one thing; who I saw after school was something completely different, and Jamie had never been on my social calendar.

"She is not worthy to stand before me!"

It’s not that Jamie was unattractive— don’t get me wrong. She wasn’t hideous or anything like that.

"Inner beauty is overrated!"

Landon reluctantly admits that Jamie "wasn't half-bad." But he doesn't consider her to be attractive.

Despite the fact that she was thin, with honey blond hair and soft blue eyes, most of the time she looked sort of … plain, and that was when you noticed her at all.

Because having fair skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes were NEVER considered to be signs of beauty.

And I really hate it when a character is "TV ugly".

Especially when it is combined with this.

Jamie didn’t care much about outward appearances, because she was always looking for things like “inner beauty,” and I suppose that’s part of the reason she looked the way she did.

I love how inner beauty is put in quotes. As if the concept is absolute horse shit.

For as long as I’d known her—and this was going way back, remember— she’d always worn her hair in a tight bun, almost like a spinster, without a stitch of makeup on her face.

This statement is obnoxious because later on in the story Jamie will be described as beautiful even when she is dying of a terminal illness.

Jamie wears frumpy clothes and everyone thought it was "just a phase".

But it wasn’t just the way Jamie looked that made her different; it was also the way she acted.

"She acted like an Angel of the House: innocent, perfect, and pure."

Jamie never went to slumber parties or had a boyfriend.

Old Hegbert would probably have had a heart attack if she had.

Hegbert would have denounced his daughter as a harlot before killing her.

Jamie carried her Bible wherever she went, and if her looks and Hegbert didn’t keep the boys away, the Bible sure as heck did.

"It couldn't possibly be that her father is a Bible-thumping asshat."

Now, I liked the Bible as much as the next teenage boy,

Translation: not at all.

but Jamie seemed to enjoy it in a way that was completely foreign to me.

"She reads it from cover to cover."

Not only did she go to vacation Bible school every August, but she would read the Bible during lunch break at school.

This is Nicholas Spark's "subtle" way of telling us that Jamie is a good person. Because she reads the Bible.

Landon thinks Jamie is abby normal. How romantic.

No matter how you sliced it, reading Paul’s letters to the Ephesians wasn’t nearly as much fun as flirting, if you know what I mean.

Because flirting is a lot of fun!

If I didn't know any better, I'd say flirting is a code word for sex...

But one of Nicholas Sparks' writing rules is that his teenage characters never have premarital sex.

But Jamie didn’t stop there. I knew she volunteered at the orphanage in Morehead City, but for her that simply wasn’t enough.

Let me guess. Jamie is SO good that she is going to help baby animals and solve world hunger.

She was always in charge of one fund-raiser or another, helping everyone from the Boy Scouts to the Indian Princesses, and I know that when she was fourteen, she spent part of her summer painting the outside of an elderly neighbor’s house. Jamie was the kind of girl who would pull weeds in someone’s garden without being asked or stop traffic to help little kids cross the road. She’d save her allowance to buy a new basketball for the orphans, or she’d turn around and drop the money into the church basket on Sunday.

Ho-lee fuck! Where do I even begin?

There is no such thing as a Native American princess.

Nobody is perfect. But according to Nicholas Sparks Landon, Jamie is practically perfect in every way.

Jamie is NEVER depicted as having any flaws. She is always nice to everyone and always never does anything wrong.

She was, in other words, the kind of girl who made the rest of us look bad, and whenever she glanced my way, I couldn’t help but feel guilty, even though I hadn’t done anything wrong.

You are a douchebag who makes snide comments.

Nor did Jamie limit her good deeds to people. If she ever came across a wounded animal, for instance, she’d try to help it, too. Opossums, squirrels, dogs, cats, frogs … it didn’t matter to her.

We get it, Sparks. Jamie is a paragon of virtue. Stop talking.

With Jamie, everything was in the Lord’s plan. That was another thing. She always mentioned the Lord’s plan whenever you talked to her, no matter what the subject.

I get it, Sparks.

Jamie is a saintly person.

And Jesus is love, Jesus is life.

Landon tells us that Jamie thinks she is "so blessed to have a father like mine."

He thinks "what planet she actually came from."

Despite all these other strikes, though, the one thing that really drove me crazy about her was the fact that she was always so damn cheerful, no matter what was happening around her.

In real life, a person who is ALWAYS cheerful is depressed.

But this is a Nicholas Sparks novel.

So Jamie is cheerful like a Disney princess.

Thank God, Jamie doesn't break into song.

I swear, that girl never said a bad thing about anything or anyone, even to those of us who weren’t that nice to her.

Translation: Jamie is a female version of Jesus Christ.

Landon keeps going on about how nice Jamie is.

All the adults "adored" her and ladies would "come running out of their house" if they see Jamie walking by.

I was thinking about all this while Jamie stood in front of us on the first day of drama class, and I admit that I wasn’t much interested in seeing her.

For a girl that Landon despises, he won't stop talking about her.

But strangely, when Jamie turned to face us, I kind of got a shock, like I was sitting on a loose wire or something.

It is bad enough that Nicholas Sparks is forcing a romance between two characters and will claim that they are soulmates...

Now he has them feeling an instant electric connection.

What’s next? Will fireworks go off? Will cherubs start to sing?

She wore a plaid skirt with a white blouse under the same brown cardigan sweater I’d seen a million times, but there were two new bumps on her chest that the sweater couldn’t hide that I swore hadn’t been there just three months earlier.

I'll give three guesses and the first two don't count.

It isn't surprising since a lot of Nicholas Sparks' novels are renowned for having contrived "tragic" endings in which someone (usually the love interest) dies.

She’d never worn makeup and she still didn’t, but she had a tan, probably from Bible school, and for the first time she looked—well, almost pretty.

If "almost pretty" isn't a backhanded compliment, I don't know what is.

Landon quickly "dismissed" the thought.

But as she looked around the room, she stopped and smiled right at me, obviously glad to see that I was in the class.

Smiling is an expression that shows happiness, affection, etc.

She shouldn't be happy to see him.

The guy mocks her and avoids her like the plague.

But Sparks told us that Jamie is made up of sugar, spice, and everything nice.

It wasn’t until later that I would learn the reason why.

#snark #book snark #anti nicholas sparks #a walk to remember #bad fiction #chapter snark

2 notes · View notes

robertjameshomeservices · 5 years ago

Text

Breaking Old Habits

The struggle to achieve a balance between family and business life is not a new one. It’s very beautifully documented in one of the all-time great modern Christmas stories, A Christmas Carol, by one of the greatest storytellers of all time. A Christmas Carol is a novel by Charles Dickens, first published in London on 19 December 1843.

A Christmas Carol tells the story of a bitter old miser named Ebenezer Scrooge, and his transformation into a gentler, kindlier man. Ebenezer’s transformation begins with a visit from his former business partner Jacob Marley, followed by the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Yet to Come. The novel has been made and remade many times into a movie by Hollywood.

That was 1843; we are now 174 years down the road into ‘yet to come’. The advances we have in technology today could never have been imagined back in Charles Dickens’s day.

Those advances have certainly made our daily lives much easier and more comfortable. But the irony of it is, we still struggle with the daily decisions about where our priorities should be in order to get the right balance in our lives.

(Maybe we need an app to make the decisions and help to measure where our focus is on an hourly basis. You could check on your phone to see if you should be playing with your kids, giving your partner a compliment, or perhaps doing a bit of work!)

Confronting your own ghosts

I have a challenge for you; it should be a bit of fun and create some self-awareness all in one. I want you to borrow from Charles Dickens and have a chat with your spirits of past, present and future.

Imagine you are sitting down with your own self; do you have a message for you about your life balance? Don’t do it out loud where others can hear you; they might think you have lost the plot all together.

Let’s say your Spirit Past is you from five years ago. Your Spirit Past turns up at your office for a meeting, with an urgent message for you. What would your Spirit Past say to you? What would he/she warn you about? What would he/she congratulate you on? What limitations would he/she argue for? For example:

‘You were lucky to get this far.’

‘You are not really educated enough to have gotten as far as you have.’

‘How can you be a great parent? You can’t even look after your goldfish or potted plant – they always die.’

Write down the message in two or three paragraphs. Do it now. I mean right now – don’t read on until you do the exercise.

Next, pretend Spirit Present is your next appointment. Spirit Present is more up to date, and claims the message is even more vital and urgent. Again, what would your Spirit Present say to you? What would he/she warn you about?

What would he/she congratulate you on? What limitations would he/she argue for? They could be different, or still some of the ‘old chestnuts’. But would he/she disagree withSpirit Past? Maybe Spirit Present believes you made your own luck and has evidence to prove it.

Again, write down the message in two or three paragraphs. Don’t read on until you do this.

If you take time to challenge the spirits in your own head, it goes a long way to giving clarity on where your Spirit Future will lead you, your business and your family. Either way, your mind believes your imagination, so if you imagine a successful business and family life, your mind goes to work on making it happen. If Spirit Past still has the power to influence the decisions of today, it will take control of your Spirit Future said Robert James and James Home Services.

So, I know this is going to come as a shock, but your next appointment is with your Spirit Future. He/she says, ‘My message is the most import- ant; it’s what you now have the power to create.’ Spirit Future has a very positive and pragmatic attitude, and knows that without the other two, there is no Spirit Future.

He/she knows your job is to understand and learn from Spirit Past and Spirit Present. He/she also knows he/she doesn’t have to be limited by their opinions. He/she knows opinions can and will change with time.

Again, what would your Spirit Future say to you? What would he/she warn you about? What would he/she congratulate you on? What limitations would he/she totally remove from your thinking? This time the message is co-authored, by you and your Spirit Future.

Write down the message in two or three paragraphs. Do it right now. Read on only after you have gone through this exercise.

Escaping the past can be tough

I have seen all too often how the ghosts of the past can take control of people’s futures. One of the most inspiring examples of beating those ‘Spirits Past’ is Denise.

When I first meet Denise, she was 50 years of age, Mum to three beautiful teenage children, and married long-term to Gordon (an accountant). Denise had had a rewarding lifelong career in nursing, and she had a very friendly, caring and likeable natu

Unfortunately change was forced upon their family. Gordon, who had always been the main income earner, was made redundant.

But instead of seeing this as a problem, they decided to take the opportunity to go into business together. Denise and Gordon became one of our very early regional master franchisees in James Home Services.

They had what seemed to be a very practical plan. Gordon would use his accountant background to manage the finances of the business and coach the franchisees. Denise clearly related beautifully with people, and she would start on an exciting new career as the salesperson in the business and also recruit the new franchisees.

She had spent a lifetime dealing with people.

How hard could it be? She though.

Robert James and James Home Services had very detailed, thorough, proven and professional recruitment processes for master franchisees to use to recruit new franchisees.

The logic was that if Denise used the systems combined with her natural flair for dealing with people she would make an awesome success of her new role.

Well, things didn’t go to plan.

Denise had lots of franchise enquiries, she knew the processes, she dressed in our uniform and looked the part, but no-one would join her team. Our sales manager John spent time with her. He observed her out with clients. He couldn’t help her to achieve any improvement. His only observation was that, ‘Denise just didn’t stop taking at all!’

Denise appeared to be very flushed and certainly didn’t project the confidence that was needed to lead new franchisees to join her business. And John’s involvement seemed to make her even worse.

Time progressed. Nothing improved. I took over the mentoring role with Denise. I felt with my experience perhaps I could work out why Denise was failing, but I too was bewildered about where the strong, positive woman I had first met had vanished to.

I really couldn’t answer why she was transforming into this nervous, excessively talkative and at times vague person.

Over a series of coaching sessions, we found that the problem tracked back to two ‘Spirits’ of her past. Firstly, Denise saw herself as a nurse. She came from an environment where salespeople were dishonest, manipulative and uncaring.

Denise was none of these things and was terrified about being thought of as such. Secondly, Gordon was always

the main breadwinner. How could Denise bring in more income than her husband? It seemed to conflict with her work life expectations. The structure of her whole family was built around these beliefs.

These restricting beliefs from her past clearly were controlling her present results. These illogical beliefs were very much in play every day. People around her argued for the Denise of old. Friends confirmed that she was a nurse.

Nurses are caring, friendly and nice people. ‘Sales- people’ were not, according to Denise’s friends. Denise just didn’t have what it took to be one of them! Unfortunately, my sales manager John believed the same. His recommendation was to move Denise and Gordon out of the system.

I personally didn’t agree, but it was now a year into the business and Denise’s results were still very poor. I had to consider that maybe Denise and Gordon should sell their business and move on. So, with their approval, I put the business on the market, and very quickly I found a potential buyer.

It was a Friday afternoon. I rushed to their home with a signed agreement for the sale of their master franchise business. It was a good offer; they would have made a good profit.

I was quite excited, thinking this was a good result for everyone concerned. I happily placed the offer in front of Denise and Gordon. I said, ‘I think it’s a good deal. What do you think?’ Gordon had the biggest smile I ever saw.

I was thinking they would grab it with both hands and open a bottle of something to celebrate. (I think Gordon was already heading for the fridge.) To my surprise and Gordon’s shock, Denise answered, ‘I want to think about it over the weekend.’ At this moment, Gordon nearly passed out. I was lost for words, but I agreed to come back Monday morning.

Monday morning arrived. We met at their home to hear their decision. Denise said, ‘We don’t want to sell’. I was surprised – to say the least. I even pointed out that down the track if things didn’t improve there was no guarantee I could get an offer as good as the one on the table. They both understood that. The decision to persevere was made.

I asked Denise why she decided to reject the offer. In her answer came the ‘Empowering Spirit’ of her past. She answered, ‘I have never failed at anything in my life – this is not going to be the first time!’ And from that day on, everything changed for Denise. She became a true sales professional. She learnt everything she needed to learn, her skills developed, her attitude changed, and she got the results.

Denise was in that business for over 15 years. As a master franchisee she sold the most franchises in the history of the network. The family business got the kids through University and set them up for retirement. The ‘Positive Ghost’ reminding her that she never failed was right.

Success in one area of your past can fuel your future.

Unfortunately, the Spirits Past with the scariest stories seem to have the loudest voices. But no matter how loud they are, it doesn’t mean you have to give them power.

You have to face up to any arguments or limitations from your Spirit Past before you sit down with your Spirit Future.

Dealing with the ‘Spirits’, whether in demon or hero form, that float around in your head is a very real challenge, even though they only live in your imagination said Robert James and James Home Services.

Originally Posted:-http://www.robertjameshomeservices.com/breaking-old-habits/

#unfortunately #imagination #demon #spirit #matter #university #franchises #success

0 notes

one-of-us-blog · 8 years ago

Text

A Christmas Carol (Doctor Who Christmas Special)

Today Jon is forced to watch and recap “A Christmas Carol”, the latest Doctor Who Christmas Special, as well as “Space” / “Time”, a pair of mini-episodes set somewhere around here in the continuity of the show. A ship carrying Amy and Rory is about to crash unless the Doctor can convince a Scrooge-esque miser the value of human life. Will he change the old man’s ways in time?

Keep reading to find out…

Eli, first of all, I’m sorry this recap is coming in a little late! I was very busy yesterday with critically important activities that included sleeping in very late and taking in the current film being discussed by Act One, so, as you could imagine, I just didn’t have the time I needed to commit to today’s recap. Second of all, I need to apologize again, because I didn’t even realize I forgot to add a That Ain’t So Bad moment in my “The Big Bang” recap! I’ve since gone and retconned one in, but I’d hate for anyone to think that was a deliberate slight against the episode on my part. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to keep that feature going, but if I do decide to stop it I’ll be sure to officially announce it instead of just stopping it out of nowhere. With all that out of the way, let me say that you did a great job on your “Mr. Terrific” recap! This isn’t an episode that particularly stands out in my memory, and I feel like all of your criticisms were well founded! That Kolak was way out of line, and it’s no surprise that the people of Twylar decided to kick him off the planet.

Now, before I think of anything else I need to apologize for, let’s get to some Who! Buttocks tight!

Mini-episodes directed by Richard Senior and written by Steven Moffat

“Space”

The Doctor’s busy doing some upkeep on the TARDIS when Amy shows up wanting to talk. The Doc’s got no interest in that and calls for Rory, who, it turns out, is helping the Doc with whatever he’s doing. Amy’s mad that Rory gets to help with the macho mechanic stuff while she gets left out, but Rory says Amy’s a terrible driver and only passed her driver’s test by wearing a short skirt. Get it? Cause women suck at cars and can only get anywhere in life by showing some skin to appease their patriarchal overlords? Get it?

Anyway, the TARDIS gets rocked by something and goes dark. Rory dropped a coupling whosit because he was so busy looking up Amy skirt, which, in case you missed it, is short. Amy says Rory’s ogling is entirely her fault, and Rory agrees. The Doc gets the lights back on, and it turns out there’s a TARDIS inside the TARDIS. The Doc enters the second TARDIS but just ends up coming through the door of the first TARDIS. The Doc says they’re in a space loop and nothing will ever enter or leave the craft ever never ever again. Just then a second Amy Pond walks through the door of the first TARDIS.

“Time”

This new Amy says she’s the old Amy only from the future, and then explains the science part of this to the Doctor. In case you were concerned that we might find out that Amy understands anything scientific in nature, don’t worry, because she’s still dumb as hell apparently and only repeating what she heard herself say a few moments ago in this magical time loop. Rory starts thinking about the sexual possibilities involving two Amies and his one penis, because that’s just the sort of episode this is. The first Amy prepares to go into the second TARDIS, but not before we get a good old bit of selfcest as the two Amies talk about how utterly fuckable they each are and Rory watches on while masturbating in a corner. The first Amy steps into the second TARDIS and the whole loop starts over again. We follow the loop through, but this time we stick around with second Amy after first Amy’s gone. Just then yet another Amy and a second Rory walk through the door of the first TARDIS. These two Amies also want to bone each other, and, who knows, maybe the two Rories want to blow each other. The Doc sends the first Rory and the second Amy into the second TARDIS while he remains in the first TARDIS with the second Rory and third Amy. We start this loop over again, this time remaining with Rory 2 and Amy 3. The Doc’s going to set up a controlled explosion, and a second Doctor arrives to let him know which lever to pick and then the first Doctor heads into the second TARDIS and it disappears. The Doc tells Amy to put pants on so her shameful body won’t distract poor, helpless, utterly-unable-to-control-himself Rory again and this shitfire finally ends.

Special directed by Toby Haynes and written by Steven Moffat

We start off in orbit of a cloudy planet, which a spaceship is hurtling towards. The captain takes the bridge and informs everyone they’re crashing and that Christmas is canceled. Damn that Grinch! Turns out Amy and Rory are using the honeymoon suite on this ship, and they’ve called the Doctor for help. Amy hopes that once, just this once, the Doctor won’t be late, and her prayers are answered as the TARDIS appears.

After some holly jolly credits, we see that beneath all of those clouds is a large city. A voice over informs us that yuletide frivolity is a universal part of human nature. On Earth this is called Christmas, but on this planet it’s called the Crystal Feast and Kazran Sardick thinks it’s a heap of shit. Neo-Scrooge here loans people money and freezes members of their family as collateral. He’s also in control of the cloud layer surrounding the planet, and he could help out with the crashing ship but he’s cool with letting the 4,003 on board die. He also refuses to unfreeze a young woman so she can spend Christmas with her family and sends them on their way as the Doctor comes crashing down the chimney. He rambles for about twenty minutes before finally letting us know that the spire atop Sardick’s tower can manipulate the cloud layer. Only Sardick can operate the mechanism in the spire, though, and he’s not willing to help the Doc out. Sardick has the Doc and the poor family out, and the youngest member of the Torkelsons throws a rock at Sardick. The old man almost hits the boy, but chooses not to at the last minute. Sardick’s staff apparently keep forgetting they’ve been told about three times to remove the Doc, because he just keeps sticking around and deduces that Sardick isn’t completely bad. The staff finally comes to remove the Doc and put Nora Fries back in cold storage.

Outside, the Doc lets Amy know he’s working on things while the patriarch of the porr family warns the Doc that there’s a fish warning out for tonight. Turns out that on this planet fish can swim in fog. I’m sure that’ll come up later! Also, the CGI is dated by today’s standard, but the visual of the fish definitely holds up and they Ain’t So Bad to look at. The Doctor decides to alter Sardick’s personality to suit his needs ala Dickens. Back in Sardick’s room we see a projection of an old video 12½-year-old Sardick recorded which features Sardick Sr. being a jerk and hitting Sardick Jr. The Doc shows up and informs the old man that his servants are all gone and that he’s filling in for the Ghost of Christmas Past. Sardick reflects on his younger self and states that this incident taught him that no one would ever be there to help him.

The Doc jumps in the TARDIS and appears to 12½-year-old Sardick, announcing himself as the boy’s new babysitter. Through the projection, the Doc lets the old Sardick know that since his timeline is being altered his memories will change as well. Young Sardick explains that the whole purpose of Sardick Sr.’s sky-taming technology was to make sure the sky fish are only able to swim amongst the people when they want them to. The Doc rigs up a sonic lure and gets a fish to swim into Sardick’s room. It’s tiny, but it’s followed by a shark, which eats the smaller fish and the sonic screwdriver in one bit. The Doc hides in the closet with Sardick. The shark bursts into the closet but gets wedged in the door, giving the Doc a chance to reach inside of its mouth and get part of the screwdriver back. He stuns the shark, but now it’s dying because it can’t survive outside the cloud layer for long. Sardick decides to save it by cryogenically freezing it in one of his dad’s iceboxes.

Sardick decides to borrow the icebox belonging to Abigail Pettigrew, the young woman we saw earlier. Sardick says Pettigrew loves the fish, so she won’t mind giving up her box to save the shark. Sardick starts to thaw out Pettigrew, but turns out the shark followed the boy and the Doc down into cold storage and got a boost from the fog lake keeping all of the iceboxes cool. The shark gives ‘em a good spook, but then Pettigrew begins to sing and, like you’d think, music soothes the savage beast. Back in Sardick’s present, the portrait of Sardick Sr. changes to a portrait of Pettigrew.

Pettigrew, lil Sardick, the Doctor and the shark enter the TARDIS so they can release the shark back into the cloud layer. The shark, once more free to terrorize the sky, flies off, and the Doc and Sardick put Pettigrew back on ice. Lil Sardick cons the Doc into agreeing to come back and visit every Christmas, so a year later Sardick and the Doc unfreeze the woman again. They call down their shark friend and hitch it to a wagon so they can have some aerial exploits. With that done Pettigrew goes back in the box, while present-day Sardick reflects on his new memories. Throughout various Christmases the Doctor takes Sardick and Pettigrew on various adventures through space and time, but then suddenly lil Sardick is a young adult Sardick and Pettigrew is decidedly more interested in his company.

Pettigrew wants to see what her family is up to, but she only observes them through a window. She starts to cry at the sight of her sister and her kids, so Sardick does his best to comfort her. Pettigrew is upset because she can’t have this sort of life, but before we get any more exploration there the Doc’s inside with the poor family and Pettigrew and Sardick are inside. Pettigrew’s sister says Sardick will grow up to be a jaggoff like his dad, but Pettigrew says he won’t. Sis asks Pettigrew to stick around, but Pettigrew says she can’t. Instead everyone has Christmas dinner a night early so Pettigrew can get in on the fun. Back in cold storage, Pettigrew and Sardick share a private goodnight, during which some spit is swapped, while present day Sardick reflects on all his fun times with his frozen lady.

One Christmas, Pettigrew spills some tragic tea while the Doc goes on about Marilyn Monroe because Steven Moffat won’t let us forget for five seconds that the Doctor is constantly banging famous women in history. Also, boom mic.

Back in the freezatorium, Sardick fresh-lock’s Pettigrew back up and tells the Doc this is the last Christmas Eve they’ll be spending together. The Doc leaves him his broken sonic screwdriver so the young man can reach him if he needs him, but Sardick says he won’t need him. Back in the present, the portrait shows Sardick Sr. again instead of Abigail. Sardick reflects on a time when his father revealed he wanted to manipulate the cloud layer so that he could control the fish, and, by extension, the people. Sardick considered calling the Doc, but decided not to. Present day Sardick is still refusing to help the 4,003 people on the crashing ship, but then a hologram of Amy appears and declares herself the Ghost of Christmas Present.

In cold storage, Sardick is shown projections of all the people who are on the crashing ship as they sing Christmas carols. Sardick is unmoved by the holograms, though he does go to visit the still-young Pettigrew. Sardick explains to Amy that Pettigrew was ill when she went into the icebox, and if she were to be thawed out again she would only live a single day before she died. Amy says that’s more time than she’s got, and Sardick says that’s good. Rory beams a hologram of Sardick up to the bridge of the ship. The captain pleads with Sardick to prevent the crash, but he resolutely refuses. The holo-Sardick gets beamed down to cold storage, where he confronts the Doc. Sardick tells the Doc that he simply doesn’t care about the 4,003 people about to die, and challenges the Doc to bring on the Ghost of Christmas Future. Turns out the Doc’s already shown him; he’s brought lil Sardick here from the past, and now the boy is forced to see himself as an old miser. He confuses his older self with his abusive father, and old Sardick breaks down into tears and hugs his younger self.

This does the trick, and Sardick’s willing to help, but, not so fast, the controls are attuned to his brainwaves and the Doc’s altered Sardick too much for the controls to recognize him. Half of the Doc’s screwdriver is still in the shark up in the cloud layer, and the half that Sardick’s kept all these years is trying to repair itself by calling out to the rest of it. The Doc’s going to use the spire to broadcast a signal to the shark-eaten half. They have to use Pettigrew’s singing, of course, and after some soul-searching Pettigrew’s back in the plot. Pettigrew’s song is carried throughout the cloud layer, unlocking the clouds and allowing the ship to fly well enough to land. This also causes it to snow, much to the delight of the rabble. The Doc flies lil Sardick back to his time and then meets up with Rory and Amy while Sardick and Pettigrew enjoy their last day together by dashing through the sky in a one shark open sleigh.

The End

~~~~~

I’m straddling the fence a bit with this one! On one hand, the Dickens metaphor was pretty heavy-handed, but I don’t think that was supposed to be a secret. It seemed like everyone was having a lot fun while making this one, and Matt Smith had clearly had an extra cup of juice the morning before filming started, but Sardick was almost a little too over the top in his miserliness for my taste. The flying fish were a neat concept, and came into play more than I expected. I liked that old Sardick flat out told Amy that the Doctor was only trying to manipulate his personality to suit his own needs, because that’s definitely what’s happening here. Unlike in the actual A Christmas Carol, where the three ghosts are trying to change Scrooge’s ways in order to let him live a happier life, the Doc’s trying to change Sardick as a means to an end. The argument could be made that Sardick will end up living a happier life (for a day, at least) but that’s a side effect the Doc had no idea would occur going into all of this. I know we’ll almost certainly never see these people again so it’s not that big of a deal, but I couldn’t help but wonder about that while watching this one. Maybe I’m just feeling generous after hating “Space” / “Time” as much as I did, but I really didn’t mind this one at all!

I give “A Christmas Carol” QQQQ on the Five Q Scale.

We’ll see you again on Friday when Eli will wrap up the third season of The Golden Girls with his recap of “Mother’s Day”, and then I’ll be back on Saturday to kick off the fourth series of Doctor Who with “The Impossible Astronaut”.

Until then, thanks for reading, thanks for freezing and thanks for being One of Us!

#one of us #doctor who

1 note · View note