#and i like things that suck so obviously i was considering this very deeply

[electricsynthesis]

thinking back on it i think i was thinking about sci fi cloning in the name of repopulation as a plotline for rebuilding altea like, in my own brain, unrelated to the tv show, and somehow i decided that this was something i got from the childrens netflix television series. As opposed to Obviously being a machination of my deranged mind

voltron was really going for something when it’s villain was keeping a dead genocided species alive through cloning and keeping them in isolated colonies in order to be quite literally farmed for their life force. but sadly That’s the premise of a psychological horror not a children’s TV show so they kind of lightly shoved that bit to the side and never went anywhere with it

[bueris]

okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead

[allllium]

andrewgarfield!peterparker x reader where reader has the biggest crush on peter but doesn't know he's spiderman? angst to fluff please!

have lovely day/night <3

Unrequited (I've always loved you)

~ Sorry this took so long and it's a lot longer than I usually write but I love how it turned out <3

~ Fluff, hurt/comfort?, Angst, WC: 2,274

~ Your best friend has a secret

Being in love sucks. Being in love with someone that's not in love with you sucks even more. But that's fine. Everything's fine. Nothing can go wrong when you're in love with your best friend.

Peter looks over at you as you repeatedly tap your pencil against your notebook, very obviously not doing the homework. You're sitting on his bed while he's across from you at his desk. Ignoring the tap from your pencil, you look around his room, lost in random thoughts, well thoughts mostly of him.

"You alright?" He asks, soft voice coming from a few feet away.

"Ugh, just bored." You slightly whine. Standing from the bed to look more around his nerdy room. All the walls are covered with different things that you don't really understand.

He just nods and returns to his work. You admire him from your stance behind him. The way his fluffy hair falls softly in front of his face or the way he's dressed so casually but still looks so good. You don't understand how one person can be so perfect. Not to mention the way he's stronger than he looks, allowing him to maintain his lanky figure that fits him so well.

Out of your boredom you start rummaging through all the stuff he has lying on his bookshelf, which leads to opening all the drawers you can find. You continuously look over at him to see if he has a problem with what you're doing but he makes no move to stop you even as he watches what you're doing.

As you're digging around you eventually reach his closet, you're a little hesitant because you don't wanna press your luck too far but what are best friends if not nosy. His closet is small and way overcrowded with clothes you swear he's never worn. You wouldn't doubt that his aunt tried to sneak them in to help him fit in more.

Something catches your eye as you go to shut the door. You wouldn't think anything of it but the red color of it deeply contrasts the rest of the closet. It looks like fabric but it's not hanging up with the rest of his clothes. Instead it's in a box on the floor, only a piece of it visible as if he rushed to put it away.

Peter shoots out of his chair when you bend down towards the box. He grabs your arm and pulls you away so he can quickly shut the door.

"What was that?" You ask in suspicion. Peter's reaction is one you haven't seen from him before.

"Nothing." He tells you, a serious look falling over his face. He pushes you a little further so he can stand between you and the door.

"Peter, c'mon." You deadpan. All the embarrassing things it could possibly be run through your head. Nothing you think of would warrant this much of a reaction.

"No. Leave it alone." He doesn't exactly snap at you but it's definitely on the line of it.

"Okay then. I'll go now." You tell him quickly. You gather up your stuff and look at him one more time before leaving, his gaze is focused on the floor in front of him. Shaking your head in even more confusion, you leave.

You don't see him for the rest of the day. Or the next day. Or even the day after that. You get the feeling he's avoiding you. It's a mystery why you think to yourself in a sarcastic tone.

Of course you see him around school but he always does more than necessary to avoid looking at you. At this point you're determined to know what was in that box. Is it a huge violation of his privacy, yes. Do you care, no, not one bit. If he doesn't want you to violate his privacy, why would he hide things from you? Make it make sense.

It's not that hard to get access to his closet considering Aunt May will let you in the house will no explanation. After school you walk right in, she gives you a bright smile and continues whatever it is she's doing. Not one question.

You have no problem going into his room, he's probably off skateboarding or whatever else nerds do in their free time. Once you get your hands on the box, that he's now shut completely, you have second thoughts. Maybe it really is wrong of you to invade his privacy like this? Oh well you open it anyway.

Holy shit. You don't even know what to think as you pull out a spiderman costume. You think, well hope, it's a costume because you don't know what to think about your best friend being the New York superhero.

How? When? How again? Is this why he's so strong? You've been friends with Peter long before Spiderman showed up which means he chose not to tell you. Is it because he doesn't trust you? Or maybe he doesn't like you as much as you like him? That stings.

Now you know why he was so adamant you leave it alone. But how is this even possible? He swings from buildings and fights giant lizards. How are you supposed to believe that your Peter can be doing that?

You quickly put the suit back in the box and hurry out of his room. As you rush down the stairs, he's coming up, running into his shoulder halfway down. You know he immediately knows but you keep running anyway.

He doesn't even stop to explain as he continues up the stairs. You walk home and wonder if there's any possibility it was just a Halloween costume.

Your phone rings over and over and over. It's obviously Peter. It's only nine in the morning on a Saturday so you have no plans of getting up or moving enough to answer your phone.

You're guessing he's mad. He should be. Now that you know what it is you can think a little clearer and you understand that maybe you should've respected his wishes a little more.

You don't answer the phone because you know he'll be mad and you don't want him to ever be mad at you. Or he'll be sad and you don't want that either. But of course, above all, you don't want to admit to him that you were wrong.

Once you finally get to moving out of bed, you spend a lot of time reading articles on Spiderman and trying to figure out how he does what he does. Now that you know Peter is Spiderman some of it makes more sense but all the other stuff makes even less sense.

Your phone rings a couple more times and you get a dozen messages but eventually they all stop. You focus your time on reading every single thing you can about him. From everything about the giant lizard to saving cats from trees and catching falling women.

"That was an interesting day." A voice comes from behind you. You jump out of your seat and turn to face them. A not so flattering shriek leaves your mouth and your heart beats faster than you thought possible.

"Peter, what the fuck." You gasp. Heart still racing and breathing slightly heavy. You take a moment to look at him, taking notice of his messy hair and the fact that he's in the Spiderman suit. Obviously he looks insanely hot but very very angry.

"Oh what? Did I invade your privacy?" He mocks, throwing down the mask you're just noticing was in his hand.

"I mean you came through the window so I'd say so." You whisper, not sure what you're actually supposed to say.

"I guess we're even now huh." He takes a seat on your bed and you almost want to say something about outside clothes on your bed but you don't have that right.

"Yeah I'd say so." A simple shrug of your shoulders has him rolling his eyes.

"That's the second time you've said that."

"I don't know what else to say."

"I wonder why." He mutters, more to himself than anyone else.

"Were you ever gonna tell me?" You ask, hurt covering your voice.

"I wanted to." You sit next to him on your bed.

"No you didn't. You should've told me."

"I don't see how it's any of your business." The setting sun shining in through your window glows on his face. You can see every detail of both him and his suit.

"Because we're friends. I don't know, maybe it wasn't."

"Really? You're gonna play this card." He stands in front of you.

"What card, Peter?" You almost yell back.

"You! Acting all sad and betrayed, trying to pretend you don't know if we were ever real friends." He's yelling now too.

"What does that even mean!? I'm allowed to be upset when you keep something like this from me!" You stand up, not liking the way he was looking down at you.

"It's none of your business." He enunciates every word to get his point across.

"Fine. It's not my problem. I shouldn't have done it. Now get out of my room."

He stares at you for a full minute. Like he's not done with whatever he wants to say or maybe he just wasn't expecting you to snap. Either way he respects your wishes, waiting only a moment more to leave out your bedroom window.

The next week rolls around very similar to the last. You go to school, you go home. Peter still avoids you, and what looks like everyone else. Throughout the whole week you don't see him talk to Gwen or anyone else he usually hangs out with.

It's not until Thursday that Gwen actually comes up to talk to you. Usually you would talk everyday but she's been more than busy with her band.

"Hey, are you alright?" She asks, coming up behind you as you put stuff back in your locker.

"Yeah, why?"

"I don't know Peter's being weird and all mopey so I thought he finally kissed you or something." She sighs so freely like she didn't just say something like that.

"What do you mean finally? Why would he kiss me?" She looks panicked. Clearly she wasn't supposed to say something but everyone knows Gwen isn't someone that keeps secrets very well.

"Fuck." She turns around and starts walking off. You slam your locker shut and follow her.

"No, no, no, no. Gwen, you get back here."

"I can't, I wasn't supposed to say that." She starts walking through people and down random halls.

"Gwen, you better get talking or I'm telling Peter what you already told me." That makes her stop in tracks. She turns to you with a look of both disbelief and betrayal.

"You're not even on speaking terms!"

"We'll go on speaking terms outta spite."

"Fine, I'll tell you but you can't tell anyone." She points her finger at you accusingly.

"Who would I tell?"

"Peter may be an insy tinsy bit in love with you."

"Gwen!"

"What? I'm not the one in love with you!"

You take a deep breath while you try to process everything you've learned in the past three minutes.

"I've been trying to get him to admit it to you forever but he didn't want to do it until he told you he's Spiderman." She continues her explanation, not realizing she's yet again saying more than she's supposed to.

"So you already knew he was Spiderman?"

"Fuck." She whines and turns to leave again but this time you let her. It's not her fault Peter didn't trust you. Or that he's in love with you.

"Gwen told me she told you." Peter says, not even a moment after you opened your front door. "And so I guess I don't really have a choice but to explain myself. And I mean that literally because Gwen is giving me no choice." He talks quickly. It sounds like he's trying to say it as fast as possible to get it over with.

"Wanna come in?" You ask, again not knowing what to say. It's funny how all it takes is his presence to make you more nervous than you ever have been.

He walks in hesitantly and doesn't move further than the entryway before he starts talking again.

"I only told her first because I'm not in love with her. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want it to affect anything, but I didn't want to tell you I was in love with you before I told you that I was Spiderman because it didn't feel right to keep that a secret."

"That makes no sense." You run your hands tiredly over your face. "I mean seriously at least have a good excuse."

"I don't have one. Okay, I don't know why I didn't tell you."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I love you and I don't want this to ruin anything." He looks down at his feet, breaking the eye contact you were making.

"I love you too but if I was a superhero I'd tell you."

"I know you would. I don't know why I didn't." He shrugs. "Did you just say you love me?"

"Not if it takes you that long to notice." You smile, forgetting about being mad.

"I really am sorry." He says, stepping closer to you.

"So am I." You say, also taking a step closer.

"Can I kiss you?" He asks, closing the space between you.

"Of course." Your smile grows even wider as his lips reach yours.

[nothorses]

https://www.tumblr.com/rq-lif3styl3s/752949689078431744/bahhahahagaggag

Yeah okay, I've got juice in the tank for this one.

So, for anyone who doesn't wanna click links from anons, this is a link to a post about "transracial" and "trans-abled" people. Specifically, this post is arguig that transracial and transabled people Are Valid.

I mostly see people dismiss these ideas as obviously wrong and shitty rather than actually engaging with them, and like, fair. But I have the energy right now, so fuck it. Let's learn!

The thesis of this post is "gender, race, and ability are all basically the same, so being trans-gender/racial/abled is all the same." I think this demonstrates a fundamental lack of understanding of all of these concepts, and frankly, I think this is a deeply incurious way of thinking.

This person clearly has at least a surface-level understanding of transgender theory, and they've gone ahead and applied that understanding to everything else without doing any deeper thinking or learning. That sucks. Gender, race, and dis/ability status are all very much social constructs on which systems of oppression are based, but these are social constructs with very different histories and frameworks.

For example: pretty much every culture has had some concept of "gender"- most of them resembling the "male/female" binary we're familiar with today- since time immemorial. Gender roles are fluid with time and culture, and trans identities (and even culturally-sanctioned gender roles/terms) have also been present as long as gender itself has. Gender in various cultures has not always been a construct on which systems of oppression are based, nor is that system of oppression always a patriarchy.

"Race", by contrast, is a concept that sprung up in the 17th century as a justification for colonization and slavery.

Another example: "Disability" is a more modern term, mostly referring to a system of power and one's position in it. There have always been disabled people, but they haven't always been thought of as disabled, and a lot of things we consider "disabilities" in our present culture weren't always thought of as disabling (i.e. pathologized). A lot of things that are disabling are also not thought of as "real disabilities", and a lot of people who are disabled don't think of themselves- and thus are not thought of- as "disabled". It's fluid in a very different way than gender is fluid.

Racial identity is also fluid for very different reasons than the others: a lot of the reasons someone might experience fluidity in their racial identity have to do with their context, and their individual relationship to white supremacist power and oppression.

I don't think there's anything wrong with acknowledging or exploring the overlap between these things; I personally am super interested in the overlap between cissexism and ableism, and I've explored it a lot in the last couple of years of schooling! Medicalization and pathologization, medical needs and gatekeeping, the understanding of bodies as "natural" and "pure" vs. "unnatural" and "disfigured"- it's all fascinating.

But learning more reveals a lot of differences between gender and transgender folks- things that are entangled with power, but do and have existed separate of power- versus race and disability, which describe relationships to systems of power on a very fundamental level.

It's a mistake to ignore the differences like this, and it reveals more ignorance than anything. Learn about the histories, complexities, studied frameworks, and lived experiences of trans people, disabled people, and people of color! Learn about what makes us similar, and what makes us different! Learn about the issues unique to each of us, and the conversations we're having about theory and systems of oppression!

I'm here for the inclusive mindset, and also, like, there's a reason people treat these things differently. Please learn.

[overleftdown]

this is going to be my somewhat-brief analysis (buckle in, it's not brief at all) of preluding scenes to farleigh and olivers... scene, lmao. because i can't read micro-expressions and social cues IRL, but i can for movies! also, i want to give my understanding of farleigh's character using the most substantial part of his arc. i disagree so much with a lot of people's takes on farleigh. i needed to talk extensively about it.

[0:58:46] farleigh makes eye contact with a footman. this is one of the footmen that farleigh mentions to felix in a later scene, which i'll also go into. what's interesting about this subtle interaction is how wildly differently you could consider it, depending on how you choose to view farleigh as a character. if you go the "mirror of oliver," route, then this eye contact could be the moment farleigh decides the route he's going to take to confront felix.

on the other hand, the hand that i believe makes more sense, farleigh is genuine in his confrontation with felix. the eye contact he shares with the footman is reciprocated; the footman holds it, even as his body pulls back and his head turns. this gives the idea that they are making a connection. the expression farleigh makes afterwards is also an indication that farleigh isn't plotting or scheming to earn pity points; he feels a connection and comradery with the only other black people at saltburn. when the footman turns away, unneeded anymore (this can be a parallel to farleigh), farleigh glances down, back up, then purses his lips. he looks dejected, in my opinion. this is immediately followed by farleigh's dig at oliver; "i think oliver looks like he'd rather throw himself out of a window.

food for thought.

[0:59:9] elsbeth: you can invite all your friends. farleigh: what friends?

this can obviously be a petty dig. and it is, in some ways. but i think a lot of these petty digs are because farleigh has been here before. he has watched his cousin drag home mediocre and tragic (presumably) white boys for perceived self-benefit. whether felix wants entertainment, wants to quell his guilty conscious (both of which are motivations for his mother), felix seems to have these fleeting possessive relationships with the friends he brings back to saltburn. he could also be queer and deeply repressed, lmfao.

i digress; farleigh is sick and tired. the first thing he says to oliver, before oliver even got to felix, was bitchy as all hell. after that, farleigh had more incentive to belittle oliver; yes, his comments about mannerisms, class, and overall character were petty. they were also all of the qualities that farleigh couldn't afford to have. farleigh is pointing out that oliver has no social life, yet still gets a 200-person party full of people that don't even know his name. this is tragically unfair, at least in farleigh's mind.

[1:01:25] felix: and fucking farleigh, what a little shit stirrer. oliver: well, someone has to entertain us all. felix: ...right. oliver: that's why we love him.

there's a clear disregard of humanity and depth, when felix concedes that farleigh is "entertainment." the sheer fact that felix would immediately believe oliver, a "stranger (as venetia so eloquently puts)" over a close family member, is odd on it's own. there are probably more reasons for distrust; everyone in saltburn is a shit stirrer, and farleigh does put on a particularly good show.

that's intentional, though. farleigh is very intentionally entertainment. otherwise, why would the cattons keep him around? they're welcoming people to their house as family, because they want a break from the reality of soul sucking wealth. because they want entertainment. elsbeth with her friend, who's only real personality traits are being pitiful and visibly different. felix, with his summer pet projects like oliver. farleigh can't be a temporary show; he needs to keep coming back. he needs sir james to support his mother.

[1:02:40] farleigh: i'm not saying my mother isn't completely idiotic when it comes to money. felix: you just have to be firm with her. farleigh: well i can't call her and tell her no! felix: i know, i know, you've said that. i know, i understand. farleigh: no, you don't know! you don't, it's humiliating. felix: it's very hard.

felix's approach to discussing other people's issues--that he does not relate to--makes me giggle sometimes. not that he's malicious or a fumbling idiot, but because of this scene specifically. in just this chunk of dialogue, you have the "i understand" and "you don't understand" conflict. an age old one. a common representation of someone who has never lived a specific struggle yet frames themselves as knowledgeable. felix seems to enjoy the "it's very hard" verbiage. the manner in which he speaks to oliver about his supposed impoverishment and struggles is very similar to the way he speaks to farleigh, in this scene.

i don't know what else to say about this. you can make your own inferences on felix's dialogue, i suppose.

[1:02:50] farleigh: i'm sorry, but it's a bit fucking shitty. you're all throwing oliver a party for 200 people while my mother lives in squalor. felix: well, she's hardly living in squalor, mate. farleigh: well she can't pay her bills so she will be! okay? at the rate she's going, she will be.

GAH. again, this dialogue can be considered in two different ways. farleigh could be hyperbolizing in order to play into the catton savior complex. or he could be completely genuine in his anxiety surrounding his mother's finances. it's very important that you recognize the fact that farleigh isn't arguing about himself, in this situation. he's talking about his mother. later in the conversation, he recenters himself as a person of color. but the original conflict is about whether or not his mom is living comfortably. this arguably affects him, but not entirely. he could continue to maintain his oxford-student-and-saltburn-resident character and continue to frolic around while his mom struggles to make responsible decisions.

[1:03:02] felix: right, well that's exactly why dads concerned about helping her. he doesn't want to enable her. he wants her to learn how to stand on her own two feet. farleigh: yeah, like he does?

and farleigh ate.

[1:03:09] farleigh: i mean, you know how this looks, right? making me come to you with a begging bowl. felix: what are you implying? farleigh: i think you know what i'm implying, felix. why don't you ask liam and joshua? felix: who... who the fuck are liam and joshua!? farleigh: ...your footmen.

farleigh's mannerisms in this portion of the scene GAG me. the easy confidence, the self-assured and confrontational attitude. the cocky wave of his shoulders and tilt of his head. he smirks, scoffs, makes and holds eye contact as emphasis to what he is accusing. the way he says "i think you know what i'm implying" even though i'm not quite sure if felix did. this really hammers in the implicit nature of the cattons' treatment of farleigh.

[1:03:33] felix: oh, oh. that is... that is low, farleigh. farleigh: okay. felix: jesus christ, mate! seriously, is that where you wanna take this!? farleigh: right. felix: make it a race thing!? what the fuck! i mean, we're your family, we hardly even notice that you're... different, or anything like that! farleigh: mmm. felix: i never know our footmen's names!

GAGGED. i eat up this scene and lick my fingers. "wohohoho, i don't see color! i can't believe you'd make it a race thing!" i know i should cut felix some slack, but this is just a little too real. although i've cut farleigh some slack for his classism.

the complete change in farleigh's mannerisms from the previous timestamp to this one is EDIBLE. i can't cope with it. his smile as felix says "that is low" is so painfully real. it says "i've been here before and maybe i was expecting this." for a second, felix is almost entertainingly cliche. then the exasperation hits. farleigh just looks tired. he blinks rapidly, smooths over his eyebrow with his hand, vocalizes his disbelief in felix's denial. "we hardly even notice you're different," to which farleigh crosses his arms (defensive), raises his eyebrows, nods along.

i won't include the final few lines of this conversation cuz i'm blabbing FAR too much, but farleigh's expressions of absolutely exhaustion and disappointment as felix says they've "been more generous then most"... i'm so sick. it doesn't matter what other families would do, because this family passes out charity like it's their favorite pastime. farleigh is your best american girl.

oliver, overhearing this conversation, immediately knows what his next plan of action is. compare himself to farleigh. and really, it's funny, because oliver misses the obvious differences between him and farleigh. just like everyone else. he will never feel different, not in the same way farleigh does. not with farleigh's relationship to the cattons, the legacy of his parents, and his blackness.

[1:06:32] (godfather's karaoke scene, AKA apple bottom jeans. he's a disgusting manchild and he throws his jacket at his wife.) is it odd to point out that another one of the only visible black characters is being degraded/mistreated/disregarded? not crazy, right? especially following the conversation about bias two scenes ago.

[1:07:02] farleigh: y'know, i think i'd fuck richard the III. he's so insecure, so you'd know he'd put in the work, right? oliver: or you could just fuck me, right?

here, i think there's a level of projection that farleigh is using in his line about insecurity. not only is it made known that farleigh uses sex as a tool (with teachers, specifically), but it's also made known that farleigh believes/knows that he is treated differently due to his race and/or family history. oliver seems to have clocked this, considering he relates himself to richard the III, then tells farleigh they have similar experiences.

[1:07:34] oliver: y'know, if you ever wanna talk to anyone, you can talk to me, farleigh. farleigh: ...what do you mean? oliver: well, i know you're going through a hard time at home. i know how that feels, when things are so precarious. it's terrifying... and lonely. and it must be so fucking weird, having to ask them for everything. and i know you fucking hate me. farleigh: i... i don't hate you. oliver: but... if you ever wanted me to talk to them, to see if there's... if i can help in any way... just ask. farleigh: ...okay.

i love this movie. have i said that yet? i bet you definitely couldn't tell by this post. this conversation is so... there's so much to talk about.

i'll start with some of my favorite of farleigh's mannerisms/expressions. when oliver first cuts their... tensions with "you can talk to me," farleigh pulls back slightly, sits up slightly, looks across oliver's face. there's a level of shock to it, but. farleigh was comfortable with oliver, his sworn enemy, flirting with him. yet, he pulled back at a genuine offer of support. some see this as farleigh always wanting oliver sexually, but i think it's more nuanced than that. when oliver says "terrifying... and lonely" that's when the camera cuts back to farleigh. he previously wore a half-smile that is now dropping; "lonely" was the hardest word to swallow. his lip is quivering. he looks up in an almost-eye roll when he says, "i don't hate you." he's laughing when oliver finishes, like he finds it all funny, yet the way he says "okay" makes him seem genuine. however... clearly not, considering the next portion of this scene!

even though oliver is lying out of his ass, everything he's saying is a description of farleigh. people grossly misunderstand farleigh's character, even when it's laid onto a banquette sized table through this portion of the movie. he's insecure, desperate, terrified, unsure, and lonely. farleigh, with so many friends and so many scandalous choices, is so fucking lonely. he knows he doesn't belong here, so he jams his ill-fitting puzzle piece into the saltburn jigsaw and crosses his fingers.

he tells oliver he doesn't hate him, and he looks like he's struggling to spit it out. he looks up towards the ceiling, closes his eyes like he's gathering himself. again, people take this as a bonding moment. the next portion of the scene contradicts this. honestly, i'm not completely sure, either. i think he's honest when he says he doesn't hate oliver. so, what? he's jealous, definitely. he wants to hold the same power as oliver, a foreign entity with somehow so much more privilege than farleigh. maybe that bred a certain kind of infatuation; the need to emulate what you'll never be. of course, he sees himself in the boys felix brings home; they, just like farleigh, need or want something from the cattons (although i object to the idea that farleigh is somehow "a mirror" of oliver). do what you will with this word vomit, i don't know where i'm going here.

and OH MY GOD "if you ever wanted me to talk to them, to see if there's... if i can help in any way," is diabolical. so terribly diabolical. the sheer idea that oliver knows, is pummeling it into farleigh's face, that he has authority over farleigh's life like that? that he knew felix for six months and he can somehow "talk to" farleigh's family about treating farleigh better... vomit inducing. farleigh is actually your best american girl.

[1:09:39] (karaoke scene) elsbeth, so uncomfortable with the idea that oliver is using them. i suppose that's the manner of wealthy people; they don't want to believe that they're only good for their money. but... they did that to themselves, in a way. they enjoy the pet projects, the charity work, the ego boost that comes with inviting the "lesser" to saltburn. hanjob on a haybale, golden big boy summer, right? everyone in the room is scandalized. farleigh is having the time of his fucking life. yet, here's the kicker,

[1:10:10] oliver: this is your song too, farleigh. come finish it. farleigh: only if you insist!

and then farleigh gives the performance of his life, by the way. people died. but... nobody is uncomfortable. literally no one. no one shudders or gasps at the scandal of oliver saying "this is your song, too" over the karaoke microphone; everyone heard. nobody cares. they all know. they start clapping farleigh on, cheering. elsbeth relaxes back onto her bed of cushions, because farleigh is entertaining. the change in mood is soooo... interesting.

[1:10:45] curse this scene, i don't even want to talk about it. it was hot, oliver and farleigh are so homoerotic, whatever yadayada. just like every other sexual scene in this movie, it is riddled with a suffocating kind of uncomfortable tension. we are made intimate third-party witnesses to carnal, sinful, emotionally ambiguous scenes. when i pointed out farleigh seemed more comfortable with flirting then comfort, when i said farleigh uses sex as a tool, when i said farleigh was projecting with "he's so insecure, so you know he'd put in the work." i just overthink. but any person that has sexual relationships with teachers needs intensive therapy and that cannot be denied. however, it's oliver, that uses sex as a tool throughout this movie. another uncomfortable parallel between the two characters.

something about farleigh's expression throughout this scene is... kind of hurtful. the way the moonlight just barely illuminates the light in his eyes, whereas any detail of oliver's face is shrouded in darkness. it make's farleigh look young, innocent, real. (sidenote, as i'm watching, i have to mention this. the way farleigh says that second "no" is so funny. "...no...?" LMFAO). man, i don't even know what to say, past this. the whole dominant dynamic, farleigh saying "i'm going to behave" is a little too painful considering the context leading up to this scene. it's freaky. it's so very oliver.

this is way too long but i could make so many more connections with their final confrontation at oliver's birthday party. i'm drowning in thoughts. what i really wanted to highlight was how ambiguous farleigh's character is, and how differently a lot of his scenes can be perceived. i've decided that farleigh is a sympathetic character, similar to oliver but so much less powerful. some people hate farleigh! so. there's that. the end! thanks to anyone who read this whole thing!

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

Showering/bathing with Pietro? I want him to hold me in a nice bubble bath and pin me to wall of the shower 🥰

don’t we all??🥲 this is probs considered smut with some of the words I used, I was aiming for just suggestive, but my brain went the other way. hope that’s okay!💌

SHOWERING HCS WITH PIETRO.

18+ fem!reader, mdni

— pietro LOVES to share a shower!! likes loves!! you'd be in there on your own, and he just knocks at the door saying, "could've told me you were showering, and I would have joined you," like he expects to share one all the time! forgetting you might want some time alone. he's just gotten in the habit that shower time is shared shower time

— he's always bringing it up like, "shower together soon?" "when do you want a shower?" "wait for me. I want to join," it doesn't even have to be sexual. he just finds it deeply intimate, and it's probably his favourite time of day. I don't think it's just about seeing you naked (although that plays a big part) something about the vulnerability and domesticity of it all. washing each other, kissing each other, standing close together in such a small place, all that stuff

— bc you're sharing water, you may take longer in there (so like the same amount of water used if you were to be separate)

— he always plays with your tits when he's washing you, just rubbing the subs and bubbles over them, eyes locked on them jiggling in his hands (I put this in another hc, but he loves soapy titty pics, so this??? it's even better)

— he def uses shower time as a way to worship you!! like he would bend to the floor, holding under your foot as he scrubs up your legs with the loofah. he also kisses you in random non-soapy spots as he washes you

— he loves it when you wash his hair, it always feels so much cleaner and lighter after you do it. you just dig your fingers right in there, massaging his scalp and he ALWAYS tilts his head back so you can do it easier. he makes these cute little hums bc you just do it so good

— after you're both washed, you stand under the shower head as you rinse. he'd have his hands on your jaw, kissing you, using the back of his head/ upper back to direct the water away from your face. it would very obviously get heated and he'd just squeeze your ass as you make out, probs pushing you up against the tiles. then he'd just kiss down your neck, tilting your head back and muffling dirty things into your skin

— maybe then you suck him off or he eats you out or you fuck. OR you both dry off and then fuck on the bathroom sink, just spitballing here ;)

— ALSO, he ALWAYS steps out first wraps a towel around himself, and then helps you out!! wrapping a towel around you and patting you dry

— it would just be a cute daily ritual that you both love. again not always sexual, you could just be having a bad day and he'd just hug you in there and help you wash instead

[hyperfocuscentre]

i’m gonna make a statement and the sirius/severus fans might not like this one but…

sirius and severus are very much opposite sides of the same coin.

(before you continue, i would just like to suggest proceeding with caution as i will be mentioning topics such as abuse and bullying).

sirius grew up with wealth and privilege, severus did not. however, it’s heavily implied in canon that they both experienced some form of abuse whether it be mental or physical. gonna sight some sources because i’ve had people argue with me over that:

^ as shown above, we get a lot from sirius that suggests the way his mother’s portrait acts is similar to the way she acted in life (although presumably more extreme). furthermore, we get a direct comparison of harry’s childhood house to sirius’ from harry himself, implying there’s similarities in their treatment and the memories formed in these households.

it was actually much harder to find evidence for severus’ possible abuse, but there’s definitely signs of neglect. he was obviously poor, so his appearance might just be a reflection of that but the stuff about the arguing and his father’s distaste for everything does imply abuse.

^ as shown above, this is actually considered a form of emotional abuse.

ANYWAY, onto my original point! both sirius and severus do negative things, possibly as a result of this abuse:

- severus’ distaste for muggles, stemming from a young age, is arguably because of his father. he joins the death eaters and picks prejudice friends as a result. however, it’s also possible he joined the death eaters to feel powerful, considering it’s implied he’s felt anything but throughout his childhood (and also during hogwarts because of james and sirius). this, obviously, is an awful decision and cannot be justified but it’s always interesting to look deeply into the motives of morally grey characters.

- also, he rejects his surname and creates the title ‘half-blood prince’ which probably suggests bad relations with his father (or maybe he just wanted a cool name, although that’s not an argument that fits with my yapping).

- sirius similarly seeks power through his constant defiance: he becomes a gryffindor (there is some level of choice during the sorting, remember!), he completely opposes his parents beliefs and was probably only further motivated by their mistreatment considering he ends up disowned. additionally, he seeks out power through bullying in canon. it’s a well known fact that bullies maybe be acting this way due to bad situations in their home life.

arguably, these two guys are acting out in attempt to combat their shitty situations.

FINALLY, in adulthood these two guys seem to be heavily controlled by their past. sirius never got the chance to mature and grieve, stuck in a prison with creatures that literally sucked the happiness and positivity out of him. he was stunted, dealing with his grief and incapable of joining society. instead, he got trapped in his childhood home which was probably full of great memories!! (sarc) he remains impulsive and clearly still holds his childhood grudge against severus.

severus’ only purpose for living was avenging lily (i believe?). he joined dumbledore in attempt to save her, and then just continued to help him when he failed. he’s very clearly burdened by his mistakes and stuck grieving for his past friendship. adding onto that, he can’t let go of his anger at the marauders: he takes it out on harry, absolutely jumps at the chance to get sirius ‘kissed’ and blatantly despises remus.

i’m done! i’m not doing a conclusion because i hate those so… enjoy my badly worded ramble? please don’t be mean in the comments if you disagree!

[sgojoenthusiast]

Hi I really liked the Miguel O’Hara x scientist reader, would it be possible to make a part 2 maybe smutty?

equation [nsfw part two]

✧.* miguel o’hara x reader

summary:

after your small crush on miguel gets the better of you, you decide to try to win him over by bringing him coffee from his favourite cafe. it only makes him more mad.

cw: smut, fem reader, (semi?) public sex, fingering, creampie, light degradation, praise, finger sucking, slight begging, teasing, nicknames (‘good girl’, ‘mi cariño’, ‘mi princesa’) lmk if i forget anything!

word count: 3.1k

sfw part one

likes, comments and reposts are deeply appreciated! <3 enjoy.

-`♡´-

"Are you fucking serious right now?" Miguel sweared at you with venemous intent. You had simply been trying to get on his good side by bringing him coffee and a pastry from his favourite cafe (which you had discovered from his social media, though he doesn't need to know that).

He had accepted your gift with an expression of shock, which quickly morphed into his usual look of disdain towards you as he reluctantly grunted a minor "thank you" before going to grab the coffee out of your hand. However, as his hand went to reach out to accept the coffee, his fingers gently swept across yours and left a mark of stuttered apologies and flustered excuses when you dropped it over his desk.

The contents of the cup, still steaming, splashed over his work and down his shirt - his very white shirt that you could now see through like glass. "Are you fucking serious right now? How stupid do you have to be to do this kind of shit? Mierda..." He frantically grabbed some tissues and wiped down his desk and shirt, all while you stood there with your eyes to the ground like a berated toddler.  "What the fuck were you thinking?"

"It's not like I did it on purpose!" you tried to defend yourself. Nevertheless, you felt incredibly guilty. The coffee had yet to cool down and his desk was covered in important documents - which could be recovered considering he had backups on his computer, yet much like an old man, he had to have them printed out in front of him for a reason unbeknownst to you.

You watched him with regret. Your eyes trailed slowly from the ruined worksheets in front of him to the tissue box where he was grabbing another tissue to wipe down his shirt. Your remorseful eyes followed the tissue in his hand as they trailed up his arm, and then right back down his chest, where the liquid had splashed against his paper white shirt and revealed a whole lot of what you honestly had already guessed was there. You shamelessly gawked at where he wiped with annoyance, too lost in a trance to hear him scolding you.

"and- you're not even listening are you?"

Quickly, you were snapped out of your daze. Your lips halfway to apologising, he dismissed you with a look of irritation as he stormed off, probably to the bathroom.

Your shoulders slumped in defeat. You had tried to do something nice for the man who so obviously hates you, and yet it backfired horribly due to your silly, unreciprocated, crush. Tirelessly, your mind worked to discover a way of making it up to him.

The supply closet. You know you had seen a box of spare clothes kept for the scientific experiments that went on. Sure, it was a Sunday, so hardly anyone was in, which meant that there weren't a lot of people around to see Miguel's coffee stained shirt, yet you gathered that the gesture was thoughtful despite that. And the best part? Giving Miguel a shirt couldn't possibly go wrong. Unlike coffee, it couldn't burn him or ruin his hard work. The worst thing that could happen is that his hand could brush against yours again and you would look like a complete fool for the second time in a day. But, you'd soon show him up with an upcoming experiment you had been working on anyway.

Nothing could go wrong. Absolutely nothing.

Except...

You swung open the door to the supply closet to find that Miguel had already beaten you to the box of spare shirts. In fact, as you swung open the door, you found that he had been in the middle of putting it on. Your entire body burned with embarrassment as you stared at his bare chest, covered only by two buttons that were already done up. Hands covering your face, you spun around so quickly it was a shock you hadn't lost balance. At that point, you wouldn't have even cared. What's a little more humiliation?

"Why are you getting changed in the supply closet?" you exclaimed with your back to his face, your voice high pitched with shock.

"It's a Sunday, why would anyone come in here?" he shouted back, seemingly fed up with you. However, with your back turned, you couldn't see his flustered expression. You couldn't hear the way his heartbeat was trying to rip through his skin. You never saw his wide eyes when he caught your eyes staring through his shirt or the way a slight smile rose on his lips when he stormed off at the idea of you even thinking about grabbing him coffee from his favourite cafe.

"I came in here to get you a shirt. It's not entirely impossible that someone could walk in on a Sunday, you know?" you huffed, your eyes rolling. You felt like you were on the brink of death. Sure, you had literally just seen right through his shirt. Yet, watching him button up a new one had your brain thinking entirely new, lustful thoughts.

"I don't need your fucking help."

A brief, unappreciated moment of silence strolls by in what feels like forever, but what was only a single heartbeat later. "Why do you hate me so much?" you stared at your feet with sad, confused eyes. You didn't need him to reciprocate your romantic feelings, yet it would have been nice if he actually tolerated you. You kept your voice sturdy, as though you had asked him for the time.

Miguel thought for a moment. Searching deep within himself, he found many feelings for you, yet none of them fell under the category of 'hatred'. He'd masked his feelings under his competitive nature and rude remarks due to his fear of admitting that he thought about you, all of the time.

It seems as though he'd been thinking for too long. "Forget I said anything." You muttered out, putting one foot in front of the other as you began to walk away, hoping to forget about Miguel after this experience as soon as possible. However, he grabbed your wrist with a gentle grip, not wanting to hurt you. He held just enough pressure to give you the decision to walk away from him, yet also enough that it conveys how he wants you to stay.

Once you had made your decision to keep your feet planted firmly on the ground, yet your back still faced him, he pulled you closer to him, spinning you around. Your hand met his chest, due to the fact he had never gotten the chance to finish buttoning his shirt.

"I don't hate you. What I feel for you, it... it intimidates me. Yet, I can't help but smile when you bring me coffee even after spilling it all over me and I can't help but feel flustered when you're touching me like this." He places his larger hands over yours lightly, your skin hardly touching his yet you can feel him like you were holding hands. You could feel him in every part of your body with how close he is to you.

Miguel's touch glides delicately down your arm and you take him all in without hesitation, afraid he'll realise what he's doing and choose to stop. Yet, that moment never comes. His fingers trail slowly down your arm, and then slowly up to reach your face. He takes your face in between his thumb and index finger, tilting your head up so that your eyes meet his own. His eyes are begging to kiss you, his lips yearning to feel your own. Your consent is silent, but he hears it nevertheless.

His lips capture yours in a slow and sensual kiss. It's steady, yet full of passion and want. He couldn't handle the eruption of his pushed down feelings, and likewise, you couldn't handle the release of what you had thought was an unrequited love. This was evident in the way you reached behind you to slam the supply closet door shut, and in the same way he pushed you up against it.

Your rhythmic kisses became increasingly more fervent and desperate. His hand that was previously on your face had made its way to your thigh, pushing up your skirt as his fingers dance around your thigh, so close to where you need him the most.

"We shouldn't-'' you pant in between the kisses you share with him. "be doing this- here."

His lips began to make their way across your jaw and down your neck without any regard for anyone who could walk in. "Don't fuckin' care, need this so bad." he sighed against your neck as his hands pawed at your thigh. Soon enough, with the way he was touching and kissing you, you couldn't find it within yourself to care either.

Your hands slithered down his chest to where the few buttons that were done up were. You began to undo the few remaining buttons, as he got the idea to undo the buttons on your own shirt, revealing your bra.

Miguel scattered affectionate kisses across your chest as you rest your head against the wall. Your breathing increased in its pace and became unstable with each trembling breath you dared to take. Your hands dragged up the back of his shirt and locked in his hair, drawing a grunt from Miguel's lips which sent shivers throughout your entire body.

The hand that wasn't supporting your thigh trailed its way up your bare leg and snuck underneath the fabric of your skirt, hiking it further up allowing his eyes to trail down to the lace of your panties.

His cock ached harder against you every moment that passed and Miguel felt as though he'd die if he didn't release everything he had into you at once. However, he continued to glide his fingers against your panties and tease your clit ever so slightly.

Instinctively, your hips moved against his fingers, trying to induce more pleasure and take from him the pleasure that he was denying you. When he noticed this, he removed his hand from you completely, bringing it up to your face, caressing it gently as you whined in disappointment.

Suddenly, his gentle touch was redirected into a much harsher pressure on your throat as he moved so his mouth was by your ear. Lightly, his teeth bit your earlobe before he whispered: "I've not waited this fucking long for you to be a needy brat. You'll wait for me, won't you cariño?"

The way his husky voice consumed your mind entirely as you bit your lip and surrendered to his every whim with a simple nod. Miguel smirked. "Good girl."

Your breath caught in your throat at the name yet he paid no notice as his hand went back to your now soaking cunt. His finger trailed down your panties with only the slightest pleasure, before he hooked his finger in your panties and pulled them to the side. Miguel's fingers were rough as they glided through your folds and rubbed your clit softly.

Evidently, his hands were worked and experienced. Carefully, a single finger slipped through your entrance, causing you to hold back from grinding down. Eventually, he slipped in another finger, and it was getting harder to contain your moans as they curled inside you.

Miguel let out a frustrated and disapproving groan. “Cariño, don’t hold back. Use that pretty voice of yours. You’ve always loved winding me up and annoying me. Why so silent now, mi princesa?”

You looked up at him, battling the urge to roll your eyes at his words. Perhaps it has something to do with your fingers being stuffed inside of me, Miguel? Is what you wanted to say, yet due to his condescending tone and the fact that his fingers were bullying their way into your cunt, all you could let out was a soft whine as your hands clawed at his hair - to which he responded with, "Good girl, that's what i like to hear."

After minutes passed of his fingers teasing and playing with you, you felt that familiar coil within you stretch. So close to snapping. His mouth was on your neck, kissing and biting you so that everybody would see that you weren't available. After this, there was no chance of him letting you go. You were his.

One of his hands had pulled down your bra, exposing your breasts as he fondled one of them, twisting and pulling on the flesh and your nipple. His other hand had a thumb circling your clit mercilessly and two other fingers stuffed to his knuckle deep inside of you.

All of this was sending you further off the edge as you tried to pull yourself back. "Miguel- I'm g'nna come, but- only w'nna come on your cock." You whined, trying to pull back from him.

To your surprise, Miguel had agreed with your wish, pulling his fingers out of your pussy and shoving them straight into your mouth as the hand that pawed at your breasts began to undo his belt skillfully and pull out his hard erection. He threw his head back and groaned at the feeling of your tongue swirling around his fingers and his cock being set free. Shamelessly, he wondered how your tongue would move around his dick. Yet he decided that was an inquiry that should be answered another time, as the longer he spent without his cock inside of you, the more he felt he was going insane.

Miguel removed his fingers from your mouth, a trail of saliva briefly connected the two of you before it snapped as his hand was brought further down to grab at his dick.

Your mind was hazy as you looked down and fuck did it take a lot for your eyes not to bulge out of your head and for your jaw not to drop to the ground. He was big, in both length and width. "Miguel- it wont fit-"

"I'll fuckin' make it fit, baby. You wanted to come on my dick, didn't you? So you'll take it like a good girl, won't you, mi princesa?"

It was very hard to argue with that. So quite simply, you nodded with a slight pout on your lips.

He looked up at you just as his length hit your entrance. His brows furrowed at your expression. "You don't think you can take it?" He tutted. "What a shame." He began to back away before you grabbed his arm and whined at the distance put between the two of you.

"I can take it! Promise I can take it, Miguel, just please, please put it in!" You begged him as he smirked at your desperate state.

You barely had time to process his few footsteps before you were stuffed to the brim with his dick, your head thrown back against the wall as he lifted up your leg to reach the sweet spot inside of you whilst also thrusting deep inside. Your mouth hung open in a silent moan, yet it was as though he could hear every inch of the amount of pleasure he gave you as it fuelled him to slowly begin moving inside of you.

"F-fuck, faster Miguel, please-"

His mind was reeling with how amazing you made him feel, how tight you were hugging his cock and how warm you felt as he thrusted inside of you with a now quicker pace and harder force.

Your leg wrapped around his torso, pulling him in deeper, greedily trying to feel him in more ways than you already were which seemed impossible because you felt him everywhere.

He pounded tortured and desperate moans from your lips. It was like you couldn't think or form any words that didn't involve how amazing his cock felt when it was so deep inside you.

"Need 'ya to be more quiet, 'kay? Someone could walk past us. You want 'em to hear how good i'm fucking you?" You shook your head profusely, embarrassment crawling over your skin at the idea of someone trying to walk in, only to hear your disheveled moans and to be blocked by your back against the door. "I really don't feel like sharing this pretty voice with anyone else, cariño."

But, quite simply, you couldn't help the plethora of whines that slipped past your lips when his dick had found that spot within you so fast, as though Miguel knew your body better than your own. Perhaps it had something to do with how he'd always be staring at you. If anyone had asked, he'd tell them he was plainly 'observing you' so he could win this one-sided feud.

Miguel grew wary someone would hear, though he wasn't exactly quiet as he groaned at the feeling of stretching you. His rough hands traced you with sparse attentiveness. As one reached your jaw, he grabbed it firmly, tilting your head to look at his. Delicate fingers ran over the softness of your lips as you looked at him through hazy, half-lidded eyes. His index finger tapped your bottom lip, silently asking you to open up and you obeyed without argument. Abruptly, he slipped two fingers deep into your mouth, almost causing you to gag as you closed your lips around them obediently.

Miguel towered above you, and as he looked down his dick twitched inside of you. The sight of your eyes wide, looking into his, and his fingers inside your mouth almost made him come on the spot. He groaned out a myriad of profanities as he envisioned you sucking on his dick, looking up at him with those pleading eyes, desperate to satisfy him.

"You gonna come, mi princesa? 'm so fuckin' close." He whispered in your ear as you nodded eagerly. Your cunt clenched around him, signally your nearing orgasm.

Miguel removed his fingers, wiping a trail of saliva off your chin with his thumb before he captured your lips with his own. The kiss was messy, along with his thrusts.

Your hands ran down his back, clawing at his shirt as you approached your release, squeezing his cock and separating your lips to breathe as your forehead rested against his own. Your mouth hung open and you panted against his lips as you came.

Only seconds after, spurred on by the feeling of you clenching around him, Miguel's hips stuttered as he released himself inside of you, a heavy grunt falling from his lips.

He stayed inside you for a few moments, cherishing being so close to you. Slowly, he slipped himself out of you. The hand that he used to keep your leg up dropped your leg and reached up to caress your cheek instead as you continued to breathe into each other's open mouths. You were both exhausted.

"You still think I hate you?" He murmured, voice tired and low.

You laughed, a small smile present on your swollen lips. "You certainly fuck me like you hate me."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

a/n: i'm so sorry this took so long! i hope you enjoy.

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟsgojoenthusiast

[nekropsii]

im thinking about the relationship between kankri and porrim because its just so fucking WEIRD like theyre obviously important to eachother or care about eachother to some extent but we dont really know why?? like they dont seem to get along very well

she patronizes him constantly (which is VERY loaded considering they lived on fucking beforus) and ignores his boundaries (calling him patronizing nicknames he doesnt like, wiping his face while he tried to push her off) and he constantly makes insensitive bitchy bigoted comments that go against all of her values and make her angry

and theres not the same dynamic dolorosa and signless had where she raised him like theyre the same age so why do they even talk to eachother?? what is their relationship?? like were they childhood friends or something?? itd make sense if they were both a little different as kids and therefore got along better but then why do they still talk to eachother when they really dont now ITS SO WEIRD

It's... Complicated. They go way back, as far as I can tell.

The way I see it, they do not have a "Mother and Son" relationship- I find that most who assert this often place far too much maturity onto Porrim, who is literally 19 years old. It's more like an Adoptive/Found Sibling relationship between someone with a severe case of Eldest Daughter Syndrome and the social conditioning of a higher-end Midblood on Beforus, and someone with a chronic case of Only Child and the social conditioning of a Mutant Lime on Beforus. The relationship makes more sense to me when you view it this way. It's just... A fraught sibling relationship, formed under societal pressures we can't even fathom. Porrim Maryam, trained by society to cull those beneath her, trying hard not to, and for the most succeeding outside of someone very close to her, and Kankri Vantas, culled and isolated his whole life, becoming a total suck-up to the deeply misogynistic, ableist, hemoloyal culling system as both a method of self defense and as a wielding of the only weapon he really knows. It was used against him all the time, and it works, doesn't it? If sucking up to Able-Bodied Male Highbloods and ridiculing everyone beneath that golden standard is the best way to ensure safety, then he's gonna do it. He's essentially a lifelong voter for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party.

Ultimately, I think what keeps Porrim by his side is that... I think she believes in him. It's like watching yourself lose your sibling to the Alt-Right Pipeline. I think she thinks he doesn't actually believe most of what he's saying, and that this is all deeply reflexive. She's smart enough to recognize the real systemic issues at play here, and that he's essentially caught in chains between 5 different machines that all want him dead. And she's right. When you actually read the shit Kankri's saying, it becomes almost immediately apparent that he's spouting bullshit, and that he absolutely knows this. I think what keeps Kankri by her side is that he knows she cares about him. There isn't any denying it. She might infringe on boundaries, or be generally annoying to him, and keeps doing that frustrating little thing called seeing through his and everyone else's bullshit and calling them out on it- not just including but especially his- but she cares. I think he knows that at the end of all things what he'd have left is her. Is this to say that if you got Kankri to grow a spine and genuinely believe in things that aren't spoonfeedings of the latest Conservative Highblood Talking Point/Psy-Op, he'd be a good person? Hell no. No way. He has a raging savior complex and is way too eager to throw other people under the bus and insult/ridicule them to their faces. He's an asshole. Just completely slimy.

But, again, sibling relationships know no bounds. This kind of dynamic just feels so... Realistic to me. The way their relationship is so strained but still so strong and ongoing just feels so human. I don't know. This is pretty meandering, I just think about them a lot.

[pillowspace]

some general Headcanons, but if there is something noteworthy for any AU difference, I‘d love to hear elaboration! To the degree you feel like answering too obviously :).

Uuh one request i do have beside general HC.

that adoption au idea you had a while back. What was Evan Charlie sibling dynamic like?

(Quick note: I made this so long, I'm so sorry LMAO. I reached into my headcanons and rambled way too hard. FOR SHORT: Charlie and Evan are good friends but not best friends like Evan and Cassidy are. Cassidy dislikes Charlie at first while Charlie likes Cassidy, so they have a sort of one-sided enemies to friends thing. Charlie and Evan are best friends in that AU)

My personal headcanons for Charlie, Cassidy and Evan is that... Okay first of all, I'll give my general perceptions of Cassidy and Evan before I answer about Charlie. For the sake of context. Also also I like using they/them for Cassidy.

Cassidy and Evan are absolute best friends in my thoughts. Cassidy's more of a fighter while Evan's more flighty, and thus they're protective of him. I like to imagine that Cassidy is a good kid who fiercely stands up for others, but doesn't go about it in the most gentle of ways, and will easily pick a fight regardless of whether or not they think they can win. I like to think of Cassidy as scared of others in a dissimilar way to Evan, Evan reacting with tears while Cassidy reacts with bite and a lack of trust. Still, they have their wariness of others in common, so their friendship is deeply important to the other as they hold no fear of each other.

As for Charlie's relationship with the two, I like to imagine Charlie as being very close to the Aftons considering Henry and William's bond. I like to imagine her as being a little younger than Michael, but a little older than Evan and Elizabeth. A sort of... good middle age for her to have a relationship with all three of them. I think she likes Evan. When I imagine the Puppet, I imagine it trying to gently coax out the shyest kid with a gift. She finds him nice and likes to play with him whenever she can, but doesn't want to push into his space too much if he looks like he'd rather be alone. I'd like to think that, at one point, Charlie would meet Cassidy through Evan, intentionally or not. Charlie likes them! She thinks they're cool! And because I would find it deeply funny, I like to imagine that Cassidy does not like Charlie. At all.

Charlie's all bright smiles and getting way too close and personal. The thing with Charlie is that if a kid visibly seems shy (Evan), she'll take care in her actions. With a kid like Cassidy who shouts and tells people off? She assumes she can match this boldness and be best of friends for it. Which is why I have a doodle somewhere of Charlie saying that Cassidy bit her LMAO. Charlie makes Cassidy feel uneasy, and because Cassidy doesn't like to think of themself as being weaker for that, they just come up with reasons for why Charlie simply sucks (also why I have a comic where Cassidy thinks Charlie's fishing for compliments instead of asking a genuine question). They won't say this to EVAN though, they'll just grumble about it a bit and Charlie will wonder what she did wrong.

I do genuinely really care about Charlie and Cassidy as friends though, it's my favourite dynamic between the kids. Cassidy not liking Charlie is not the opposite to them being friends, but something that I feel would add TO their friendship, as they go through impossibly hard events together and learn to lean on each other for support as ghosts. And that is also why I have a drawing of them holding hands while Cassidy's visibly annoyed and a drawing where Charlie hugs Cassidy while they cry.

Sorry if that was long...! But there is my personal preferred way of viewing Charlie's dynamics with Evan and Cassidy.

(Note: I realize you also may have also wanted to know about the other Missing Kids too. They look up to Charlie. The kids were used to having an authoritative figure to lean against, so now that that's been taken from them, they see Charlie's protective caring nature and lean on it like a baby's instinct. But Charlie's a kid herself. She finds it... cute sometimes, and she does want to keep them safe, but it's overwhelming. She misses her dad too. Since I'd like to imagine Cassidy not finding anything parental in Charlie, I also like to imagine that adding to their friendship from Charlie's side. Charlie loves the other kids, but she's working with a situation that shouldn't have ever happened. I do have an appreciation for interpretations where they dislike Charlie, but this is just how you'll typically find me depicting them.)

---

Are you referring to this AU? I never did really draw it after that, which is a shame, because I thought about it extensively.

Generally, prior to the Afton kids being adopted into the Emily family, it's the same dynamic as I described. Afterwards though, Charlie has siblings now!! One moment it was just her and her father, and now she's got two brothers and a sister! So growing up like that, Charlie wanted to get to know her new siblings as well as possible, even better than when they had simply just been friends. (And honestly, I like to think that Charlie's a bit lonely. She was being bullied in FFPS, was she not?) Any tense relationships the siblings held with one another, Charlie and Henry did their best to remedy it. Michael's... dealing with a lot, it's still a time travel Michael AU that isn't centered on him, so he doesn't really know how to adjust to everyone quite yet. So while Charlie may have spent more time with Michael pre-adoption, he ends up who knows where, while Charlie balances things out by spending a bit more time with Evan and Elizabeth nowadays. Evan's lonely without Cassidy to play with, so he often goes to Charlie as a first option now. He trusts her. And so they grow closer and closer as best friends over the years who have each other's backs. By the time Evan gets back in touch with Cassidy, Cassidy and Charlie are both close with Evan, but not with each other. Until they are. Because I like Charlie and Cassidy having a one-sided enemies to friends thing going on.

APOLOGIES IF YOU ARE REFERRING TO A DIFFERENT AU THOUGH, I think I have mentioned adoptions a few times before. I just figured that one though because that one has to do with Charlie, Evan, and Cassidy the most.

[marsprincess889]

Hi there! I was curious to know why Anuradha reminds you of TVD and shows related to teenage, high school and such stuff. Thanks ❤

Hii 🤍

(This turned out longer than intended but its good so I hope you read it 😭)

So I didn't say that Anuradha reminds me of teen shows set in high school, I just said that that it reminds me of TVD and VERY similar shows, and I only really meant its tone and vibes.

With TVD I do have a specific reason: the author of the novels that the show is based on has Ketu in Anuradha, and Ketu placement really comes out in art and any creative projects, including writing, it's very common, and I'm actually not the first one to say that, Claire Nakti did it as far as I know, but I do have my own examples of Ketu being the main influence of a person's creativity. I have a post about that specifically. Tbh even before discovering the Ketu placement of the author TVD still for some reason reminded me of Anuradha, like, it's fully in Scorpio(connected to the 8th house of the occult, secrets, sex, death, depths), and I'm sure you will agree that it fits the show. Also the high school friend group aspect of it is very Anuradha, considering Anuradha's ruling god is Mitra, god of friendships. Even the fact that main females in the show are cheerleaders is very fitting, cheerleaders being an organised group of people devoting their time and energy to cheering and supporting their chosen team's success. Anuradha is "the star of success", and it's desire is "to be regarded as a friend in all the worlds", its power is "Radhana shakti", meaning the power of worship, so, I think you get its nature.

Another show I mentioned was "Sex Education" and it also deals with friendships and love and sex(intimacy, in general, in every sense of the word) in a high school setting. I think what makes high school very Anuradha to me is the fact that people attend it at a time when they're exploring, or, wanting to explore intimacy deeply, and obviously, people naturally get sucked into different friend groups while being there, or ar least, they have their place, and Anuradha relates to the organization of society.

What's interesting is that most, if not all movies and TV shows set in high school prove the point the point that while those "cliques" do make a difference on the surface, the real truth(the hidden, the occult, the secrets relating to the 8th house and Scorpio) is that all those individuals who come from different social groups, find a connection between them that's beyond what society has organized, and that's way deeper, or they go through an experience together, whether as friends, enemies, lovers, frenemies, or two or more of these and they are bonded via that experience, in a unique way, kinda like "The Breakfast Club". 8th house does relate to sex, and it can be viewed as merging two separate, opposite things together relating to Vishakha, which ends the signs of libra of partnerships, where one viewes its opposite partner as separate from them, and begind Scorpio, where both of them are one and the same. Vishakha comes before Anuradha, and its other name is "Radha"(the gift), so, "Anuradha" is the "subsequent gift(spark, success)".

This is a lot and I hope you get what I'm saying, especially cause Anuradha is a very interesting nakshatra to me. Let me know if this makes sense 🤍

[cabeswaterdrowned]

keeping myself from speaking too much on Adam and Ronan’s dislike of Henry here because I know I’ll go more into it and everything involving Henry when we get to TRK, but it really sucks so much that these dynamics being set up could be really interesting, like the exchange between Adam and Henry where Adam clearly sees Henry as a frivolous person who doesn’t have *real problems* is very revealing about some of his flaws in how he sees himself as an underdog but isn’t good at recognizing that in people who have very different experiences than he does, he can only for example see how Henry has privileges over him for being rich and doesn’t consider that Henry experiences forms of oppression that he doesn’t from being an moc (there’s also something there imo about the parallels and contrast in their presentation of and relationship to their queerness and how that effects both Adam and Ronan’s reactions to Henry although it’s obviously unintentional because Maggie doesn’t think of Henry as queer and doesn’t give much thought to how being queer effects Adam beyond that he’s into Ronan who said that…anyway). There are a lot of interesting things to explore re: Adam and Henry as foils (kind of going along with the Ronan and Blue as foils dynamic) and the Pynch vs Henry dynamic but the way it’s done is ultimately deeply embarrassing I will save more of my rants for later but. Yeah.

[batsplat]

what do you mean casey and valentino are “very different types of guys in some respects, but also painfully similar in others”, like what? does it mean they’re similar in terms of riding or something else? pls i need to know cus i’m obsessed with these two after reading your posts

okay I'm gonna be honest, I have no clue when or where I said that, and a cursory search didn't throw anything up because tumblr sucks. which means I don't know what the context was... but I did say something similar a few days ago, so I have been thinking about this stuff! I kinda talked about the similarities/differences between the pair of them in this post and will be retreading a lot of the same ground. and, well, I reckon I can have another semi-interesting stab at this topic - you can treat that other post as a tldr because this very much will not be. so here goes

first off, they're definitely not similar in riding style! casey's got a far 'wilder' style, throws the bike around a lot more - versus valentino who looks a lot more precise and controlled. I think I find them the most aesthetically pleasing rivalry match-up when fighting on-track... it's particularly accessible to the layperson imo. if you watch them in the heyday of their rivalry, you have that easily visible contrast between the roaring ducati and the nimble yamaha, the way casey is bullying the bike through every corner, how valentino keeps darting alongside through the bends while slipping back on the straights... that was obviously a very poor generation of bikes in terms of producing good racing with any regularity, but on the odd occasion when we did get a fight between them, it really delivered. the cliché about them is that casey was the talented one and valentino was the smart one, which manages to be nicely insulting to both of them (unsurprisingly, you get the sense neither of them was massively into this as a framing). but you do need a striking contrast for a good rivalry - and there really was something to this raw potential that felt very nearly limitless, belonging to this young rider who only ever just remained in control of it, always on the limit... versus the cool and calculating established master of the sport, far more considered both on and off the bike, using all his tools and tricks in an attempt to trip up his new foe. the key thing about casey's emergence is that it was a bit of a shock. obviously, with the benefit of hindsight, it didn't really come out of nowhere - but when analysing their rivalry it's important to keep in mind that casey was not supposed to be the primary challenger to the throne. casey comes out of nowhere to defeat valentino, and then valentino has to plot and scheme to get him back. it works! it's compelling! 2007 to 2008 forms a very engaging arc... after that it all tapers off for various reasons but you kinda need to enjoy what you get, plus even the tapering off is pretty interesting

and I'm somewhat preempting the laguna 2008 long post still sitting in my drafts here, but this post is more vibes-based so it shouldn't overlap too badly. that race is important for all these different reasons, as a significant turning point in the season and the rivalry and the relationship between the pair of them. for valentino, it was a successful gamble - one that he felt he had to take in order to reassert himself, to finally gain an edge over his most tenacious rival. it was a culmination, in a way, of this journey of casey repeatedly surprising him, repeatedly failing to bend to the weight of valentino's expectations... until valentino dispensed with the old playbook and figured out a way of surprising casey in turn. it's the shock of what happened at laguna and the feelings that are associated with that loss that makes it such a defining moment for casey. yes, it was a deeply uncomfortable race for him given the viciousness of the riding on display, but his emotional response to that is a little more complicated than either fear for his own safety or righteous indignation at valentino's behaviour. the pre-race expectations, valentino getting the better of him during the race, the comically slow, almost feeble crash that ended casey's victory hopes, valentino's post-race triumphalism... what valentino did was make a spectacle out of casey's humiliation. and after all that, it is casey who has to apologise to valentino, playing contrite about his post-race comments when they reconvene after what must have been a painful summer break... it's humiliating! this is humiliating

ignore the points standings for a moment (where casey was 20 points down to valentino) - to the best of my knowledge, paddock consensus was treating casey as a firm title favourite before that race. this is how much of a mark casey's 2007 dominance had left on the collective consciousness of the paddock... early season ducati problems be damned: once he starts winning, he just doesn't stop. even in the immediate aftermath of the race, valentino was being discussed by a lot of the commentary at best as a joint favourite for the title. the ins and outs of how casey's title campaign fell apart are a topic for another day, but it's always crucial to reinsert some context when we're discussing that rivalry and remember just how scary casey's reputation had become by this point. and it's this story that's been developed through some particularly memorable races between the pair of them... qatar 2007, obviously, casey's first win on his first ride with ducati... catalunya 2007, arguably still casey's best win, beating valentino wheel-to-wheel at the circuit where valentino beat everyone else in similar fashion before and since (cf 2004, 2005, 2009, 2016)... casey comes into the championship and doesn't just beat the man who seemed unbeatable on sheer merit, but also beats him on valentino's turf - winning the precise type of significant make-or-break duel that valentino so excels at. and then, one year later, valentino rocks up at a track where everyone expects casey to win, everyone expects it until the very second the race starts... and he wins, doing so by reversing his usual tactics and taking a new approach to cracking the casey puzzle. it's the element of surprise, the shock of it, that allow these isolated performances in their (all too rare) duels to impose a new reality on the championship overnight. and it has the ability to leave the loser reeling, to need time to figure out how to go about their racing from this point forwards. they are forced to regroup, to reassess, to change their ways

now, with that in mind, we can actually start getting into the similarities between the pair of them, aka what the ask was actually about. exciting. let's start here: one thing that's important to remember about laguna 2008 is that it does not immediately turn it into an open feud overnight. casey apologised for what he had said after laguna at the next race. he said to the press he had overreacted, and he apologised directly to valentino:

(for more on casey/vale versus toni elias, see here)

valentino of course accepted this apology (more on this in a moment), happy to call it bygones. these photos are from the brno press conference, almost a month after laguna:

listen. it's just a few photos. god knows what's going on here. but it's casey who is having to reach out to valentino, to make an effort to be friendly to him, to smooth things over. I imagine his experiences in the years to come hardened his initial stance on the race, but obviously it's fair to say that this apology was not 100% sincere. unless casey has done a complete one eighty since then, he's made it repeatedly clear that he did lose respect for valentino, that he did find his riding unacceptable, that he does think worse of valentino as a result. and if there's anything that could radicalise him on that front, surely it's the experience of having to grovel, of having to play nice so that the gracious valentino can pardon him - who casey firmly believes was in the wrong... surely, that has to be galling. it's infuriating. it's embarrassing, especially as the championship continues to slip from his grasp in a manner that so perfectly contributes to the murmurings valentino may have broken casey too. quite frankly, it's humiliating

which makes it notable that for all intents and purposes... they get on fine after this, when they're interacting face-to-face at least. I did a post on this for a target audience of me with like a hundred something photos from 2007-09 - and for all the talk of the relationship deteriorating after laguna... well, I reckon a lot of this is after-the-fact narrativisation of their rivalry, rather than an accurate reflection of what the vibes between them were at any given point. they can still laugh together after laguna! isn't that lovely! now, from 2010 onwards, the relationship does get significantly worse - even if it never quite reaches the same depths of interpersonal coldness that basically every other valentino feud got to. there's a lot more vitriol to what they say about each other, there's just a higher quantity of increasingly petty spats between the two of them, and there's also clearly less interest in small talk on both sides. to be clear, it's not that casey was never critical of valentino from 2008 to 2009, far from it... it's just that those were generally isolated incidents, relatively mild criticism or interviews where you go 'ooh boy he was in a bad mood that day' at the whole thing, rather than the constant mutual jibes of 2010-12. there's not really a clear instigating party for the feud getting worse in 2010, also not a single incident you can point to. I am going to make an educated guess about the timeline here, but to be clear this is only a guess - we really don't have access to the full story. I reckon it was a few comments casey made during valentino's leg break that signalled the beginning of the end, stuff like this:

It seems there is only one positive in Rossi’s absence – noted by Stoner during the British GP weekend. “The fans are more polite,” said the 2007 champ who was booed by British fans following his Donington MotoGP wins in 2007 and 2008. “When Valentino is here, the fans love him so much that they hate all the other riders. The fans that are here now are here to enjoy the racing.”

just to give you an idea of the vibes. without passing judgement on the merits of casey's observation (delivered on a weekend he was generally rather ill-tempered), I can't imagine most competitors would take particularly kindly to opponents finding the bright side of their broken leg-induced absence. then valentino returns, they have that fun fight at the sachsenring, and casey is complaining about how much fuss is being made about valentino's hasty return from injury. at which point valentino reaches into the back drawer and makes a snide remark about how if casey had been on the receiving end of casey's riding at the sachsenring, then going by laguna casey would have endlessly complained about that - but of course valentino knows what real racing is, so he would never complain. which is a delightfully roundabout way of criticising someone's riding, you have to say. and later that year, valentino is quizzed about how both casey and jorge suddenly seemed so much more willing to openly express their enmity in valentino's absence (x)

so you had these two relationships concurrently deteriorating, though valentino was rather more proactive on the jorge side of the equation. so, somewhat oddly, a relationship that seemed to be 'cordial' for the better part of two years after the actual turning point of that rivalry... becomes a lot more ugly during a time period in which the two of them are barely competing on-track. valentino will of course have played his part in that, clearly feeling extra defensive and combative and frustrated (though probably more so in jorge's direction than casey's) in what was a rough, rough season - and when that dynamic between them started getting worse, he obviously made sure to add plenty more fuel to the flames. but to me, the timing feels a little more casey-dependent. after all, it is casey who is holding a grudge over laguna 2008. valentino will of course not have forgotten casey's comments after the race... but at this stage, it's just not a rivalry he has all that much emotional investment in, beyond wanting to beat a tough opponent. unlike with sete or with marc, casey does not have a preexisting friendship with valentino he can betray. it's like valentino said in his autobiography - he could only hate someone who had been a friend. casey is not that person. whereas valentino obviously represents something a lot more complicated, more emotionally thorny to casey... one man who is so thoroughly intertwined with his disillusionment with the entire sport. casey cares about this rivalry - and it's not just because he wants to beat valentino. and then you have the 2009 illness, the frustrations of the struggling 2010 ducati, and what you get is a casey who is increasingly willing to speak his mind... who has secured his contract with honda, whose greatest rival is currently weakened. and increasingly casey isn't playing nice towards valentino, because he's decided it isn't worth it. casey's willing to have a go at him, to be a bit more rude, to actually vent some of the anger within. valentino responds. it gets nasty from there

so... let's take stock for a moment here. there's an inciting incident in a race that causes immediate tension between two riders. both parties are willing to publicly move on from it, but it becomes increasingly clear that one rider is still holding a grudge. later, tensions escalate to the point of boiling over - and we eventually come to learn that the injured party had at no point come close to moving on, for all the playacting and friendliness in the press. does this not strike anyone else as... a little bit valentino-esque? it doesn't mean casey was being dishonest after laguna (though the apology was to some extent, yes) - and his feelings about that race did probably grow more extreme when he felt he was in a position where he could allow himself to actually be angry. there's obviously perfectly good reasons why casey knew making a public enemy of valentino rossi in 2008 would be an extremely uncomfortable state of affairs... but, well, he still had a choice! and the choice he made wasn't to openly declare his enmity, nor was it to forgive and move on. it was to file away the grievance, cling onto it for however long it took, before letting fly to his resentment and having it out repeatedly with his enemy when the time felt right. it's the delayed response to the whole thing that just compels me, because valentino does have a track record of a similar approach. the little slights from 2003, mugello and then assen and other murmurings in 2004, sete's flirtations with being a sore loser... it's all tucked away, barely acknowledged at all by valentino, until the exact moment where he decides he's had enough. 2013, 2014, 2015, this gradual accumulation of offences on marc's part... and then suddenly it spills over in dramatic fashion. a rapprochement for the better part of two years before another incident in 2018 triggers a response of unrestrained vitriol. now, look, you can debate about the comparisons being drawn here between the different rivalries, argue that not all of these grievances are equally legitimate, that likewise not all of the responses are equally proportionate to the crime - but let's talk psychology, not morality. because you do have the same underlying impulses at play here: an impressive ability to remember both major and minor offences paired with a refusal to move past them, a willingness to not openly engage in hostilities until the time is right, how the initial grievance can become ever more pivotal in the mind of the aggrieved. a largely retroactive emphasis on the moment in which the 'true' moral character of the opposition was revealed to the aggrieved party. some kind of perception of trickery, of deception, of an enemy who had not been honest about their true nature. all coming together in a grudge they will never entirely let go of

there's some more pieces of supplementary evidence you can quickly chuck in here, like casey's propensity for remembering slights for years and years after the fact (x)

and casey wasn't even right about it lol. over half a decade later at this point and casey's got it in for the man over a misremembered slight

then here we've got jorge drawing attention to valentino's ability to bide his time and attack from a position of strength back in 2009 (x)

almost like he prefers to bite his opponents when they're already bleeding idk

so neither valentino nor casey are particularly big believers in the 'forgive and forget' maxim. I'm sure I've said something like this before, but one of the charming things about this rivalry to me is that valentino gets to be on the receiving end of that kind of delayed retribution. broadly speaking, I do buy that he accepted casey's apology at the time of brno 2008 - there's no real reason for him not to, and there's also no real reason to believe he had any particular ill will towards casey beyond 'wanting to beat him in a motorcycling contest'. he said "sincerely I am not angry with him", and whomst am I to doubt him when he tells us it's sincere, right. now of course, there's a continual dissonance between the pair of them - because what valentino considers acceptable methods to win a motorcycling contest diverges pretty strongly from casey's standards. this is true both on and off the track - and the bit that casey always struggled with was he didn't understand a) how anyone could behave like valentino did, and b) how anyone could behave like valentino did without despising their target. valentino quite deliberately cultivated a fairly friendly but impersonal relationship with casey on his end, one that he was not particularly emotionally invested in during good times and ill (more of my thoughts on valentino's side of the equation in the context of his approach to rivalries more broadly here). valentino is capable of both these intensely personal rivalries where each offence is deeply felt, as well as these far colder purely sports-based rivalries where he is far more willing to dish it out and take it and move on. he also unsurprisingly enjoys the latter a lot more, feeling they are in some way more 'honest' and revelling in the nastiness in a manner he can't do in quite the same manner when his own pesky emotions are getting in the way. for all that casey was an awfully tricky opponent, this was a rivalry valentino took genuine pleasure in when they were competing for titles. it's a bit of a comfort zone rivalry for valentino, in a way. valentino has always needed enemies to motivate themselves - and casey presented such a unique challenge. beating that kind of talent made each victory all the more rewarding

“The rivalry with Casey was great because he was one of the greatest talents ever in MotoGP. Without a doubt, he was one of my strongest rivals.”

but for casey, of course, valentino's attacks were a hell of a lot more significant than just a bit of fun and games - it was all a lot more personal. he never forgot the humiliation he suffered at valentino's hands, whether directly or indirectly at the hands of the valentino-worshipping media and fanbase, whether on or off the track. there's a decent chance casey remembers every single negative thing valentino has ever said about him. if anything, he's actually more of an extremist on this metric than valentino is, because valentino's most longest-standing grudges rely on some kind of sense of betrayed interpersonal bond. and on casey's side there's definitely an element of this with valentino - he felt valentino got colder towards him once they became rivals, remember - but he really doesn't need all too many preconditions for his grudges. if you wrong him, he remembers, he resents, and he's unlikely to forgive

so, let's pick up on something else jorge said in the excerpt above: how he felt like he had something to learn from valentino in terms of attacking from a position of strength rather than weakness. for my money, jorge never got particularly far in developing this particular skill - just a bit too temperamental and impulsive to be able to help himself when he feels wronged. but it's this idea of learning from valentino, which sometimes feels like a bit of a portent of doom where his rivalries are concerned (remember how marc after argentina 2015 was going on about how you could always learn something from valentino) but casey in particular has talked about a lot. I'll throw in a relevant mind map screenshot again (an ever so slightly zoomed out version of the one I already included here, which also includes a few more screenshots of said mind map):

again, sort of preempting the Actual Laguna Post here - but this is kinda notable, yeah? this idea of learning from valentino is a real preoccupation! casey's belief that he has to be more selfish, that if others don't respect them he will do likewise, that he had to change his mindset... laguna did leave him reeling. he's got a very mind map-friendly way of expressing himself because he does end up making these broad strokes associations between, say, his alienation from europe, his frustrations with how the media portrayed him as weak, his thoughts on riding standards - and then they all end up being linked back to his rivalry with valentino and this single race in 2008. he talks about learning from valentino way back in 2009 and he still talks about it in 2022... this 'learning' exists along two dimensions, one on-track and one off-track. the off-track dimension isn't dissimilar to what jorge was talking about: how valentino effectively uses the media. there were times at which casey, at his most sullen towards the media, assumed that whatever he said or did, they would not take his side. and of course, he wasn't always doing himself any favours when interacting with the rest of the paddock, the media, the fans - something which valentino was happy enough to point out. here's one of my all-time favourite nuggets about the pair of them that really gets to the heart of their dynamic, from broadbent's 'ring of fire' about donington 2008 (three races before laguna):

Casey Stoner had won the British Grand Prix but had been booed. It was an ugly response from a minority of the British crowd and Stoner had, most definitely, been spitting blood afterwards. 'I had it last year when I won as well,' he snapped. 'On my slowing-down lap I was getting loads of abuse. I mean, what do people want? Are they here to even watch bike racing or are they here to abuse people?' I sipped my espresso and Rossi considered his response to the issue. 'It was very strange, for sure, but I think the relationship between the English and the Australians is not great, like the Italians and the French, yes? The people were unhappy because Casey always says, "This track is shit, this place is shit, the weather is shit." They weren't happy for that reason.'

just wonderfully in character from both parties. now, point of order: valentino's considerable popularity in the uk undoubtedly heavily contributed to casey's treatment at the hands of the british fans. if some stories are to be believed, this is something valentino quite deliberately encouraged - and he certainly wasn't all that interested in shutting it down. his line attributing casey's lack of popularity in britain to ancient hatreds is very funny, yes, but also a pretty obvious way of sidestepping any accountability. all that being said. "this track is shit, this place is shit, the weather is shit" does all sound extremely casey - and I have zero problem believing both that this is stuff casey said and that the british fans didn't take particularly kindly to this rhetoric. in similar fashion, while casey's reputation for being a handful to work with was probably harsh and he does obliquely imply valentino was badmouthing him within yamaha (very plausible but it's far from clear cut), it is also undoubtedly true he was sometimes a handful to work with. he did get his temper increasingly under control as he grew up - but there's a little more to how his handling of the media changed over time than just growing up, of course. just like laguna made him change his approach to riding, being on the receiving end of the sheer weight of valentino's power and influence in the sport forced casey to reconsider how to approach his public relations. he's conveniently explicit in discussing this, saying he cozied up to the media so they would "stop writing so much shit" about him. in an ideal world, of course, casey does not want to concern himself with such matters. he frequently struggled to understand why the more entertainment-focused elements of the sport was even necessary at all, seeing them as a distraction, as detracting from the purity of the racing, as something that no real fan would be interested in. but he learned to play that game anyway

on several occasions, casey has emphasised how he is not the type to get obsessed with his rivals, that he does not care who he is beating, that he doesn't understand why anyone would play mind games and make an enemy out of the opposition (more on this in a moment). unfortunately, given he had become the valentino rossi's rival, he was given little choice but to care... or, let's rephrase. while casey had displayed plenty of contempt for the parts of the job that require communicating with the public, he has always hated being misunderstood - he does care how people perceive him, he wants it to be accurate to how he sees himself. and given he was operating at an automatic disadvantage in dealing with such a popular and accomplished communicator, something was going to have to give. casey acknowledges it himself... there's always something a tad loaded in how casey talks about learning from valentino (including in the tweet commemorating his retirement!), because casey would prefer to live in a world where he didn't have to learn these lessons. he would have preferred not to learn what people were capable of, how to be more selfish, how to engage with the media circus. he just wanted to ride

still, valentino was certainly a capable teacher. "very savvy, and very clever, very cunning" as casey describes him, again with explicit reference not just to the on-track dimension but also what happens off the track, with the media. all three of casey, jorge and marc are in differing ways and to differing extents students of valentino's both on and off the track. all three of them have talked about learning from valentino. all three of them have shown obvious interest in how valentino conducts himself both on and off the track. for all of casey's respect and admiration for valentino before the commencement of their rivalry, however, when compared to the other two casey was markedly less interested in learning about all aspects of valentino's game. he wasn't interested in becoming the next valentino rossi, after all. casey is forced to pay attention to how valentino handles the media, is forced to learn from it and use those lessons to his own ends - which means this learning process only really started once they were already rivals. we can track casey's development when it comes to this in real time... because casey has become a far more effective communicator over the years, learning how to come across as opinionated rather than whiny and sell his side of the story

there's an obvious disparity to how much both parties have discussed the rivalry since the end of 2012, which to some extent is just a result of how one of them was still competing and cooking up new feuds and the other one wasn't, as well as the centrality of the rivalry to their respective careers. still, there is something intriguing to how little valentino has generally been interested in relitigating his old feuds once they were no longer relevant to his career. now, there's a very obvious exception to this rule, but even that goes to show that there's actually some quite specific circumstances required for valentino to be so wholly unwilling to publicly move on. first and foremost, it takes real interpersonal hurt on valentino's side... there's a world in which valentino responds to casey's numerous criticisms of him post-2012, maybe reacting to some of the jibes on instagram jorge lorenzo-style. beyond some mildly catty comments in 2013, valentino has mostly limited himself to blandly complimentary remarks about casey and their rivalry. by contrast, of course casey was hurt by valentino on a personal level. he's also aware that he's going to have to do his own pr here - if he wants his story out there, he's going to have to be proactive in telling it. he cannot rely on the public's unwavering affections in the way valentino can. still, casey made a choice to do that pr; in his shoes, valentino might well have done the same thing. because at the end of the day, casey does care what people think and is willing to use the enemy's weapons to change hearts and minds. he doesn't want to be written off as weak or broken or a whiner. he wants to be remembered for the times he stood up to valentino, not when he supposedly folded to him. maybe, just maybe, he wants valentino to get a taste of his own medicine

and yes, at this point we do need to bring in casey's most obvious act of revenge against valentino. it was valentino who gave him the opening to do so, valentino who infuriated casey in the moment, but casey jumped at the chance with relish. in early 2011, casey could already be satisfied with his immediate success with honda - as well as relish in his arch rival's struggles on a bike that casey had been accused of not getting the most out of for all of 2010. then, in the wet of jerez, valentino spotted an opportunity to get a good result on a poor bike and chased down the leaders, with casey running in second. he made an ill-fated attempt at an overtake that ended with both of them going down. the incident and what followed had all the ingredients to flick as many casey triggers as possible: lack of suitable caution from his opponent, injustice in treatment by the stewards, the performative nature of the apology, and valentino's failure to remove his helmet that was interpreted as a lack of respect and sincerity. there were a few other underlying points of contention here, like casey linking this incident to his feelings towards european values (or lack thereof) more broadly - a less honest people, one hears. then there is also casey enquiring after the shoulder, something valentino later picked up on as an odd focus on casey's part (cf too casey's response to valentino's comeback from the broken leg). I've discussed this elsewhere, but at a guess casey was internally comparing how he and valentino were treated in their respective health-related absences in 2009 and 2010. the suspicion he had gotten versus the sympathy and adulation that accompanied valentino's heroic return. with the shoulder, you'd imagine casey was particularly sensitive to the suggestion that valentino was hampered in his riding by his injury - again, compared to how poorly casey's struggles with his mystery illness had been received. now, obviously the shoulder was hampering valentino (and he later admitted he had been afraid it could be career ending), but that isn't really the point, is it? what casey is objecting to are the double standards. throughout casey's career, valentino provides the most obvious lightning rod for his frustrations, and it's not hard to understand why

then there's the line itself, ambition outweighing talent and all that. if I had to choose a single word to describe the experience of having to go and apologise to your rival (who you severely dislike) for what was clearly your error in what is already proving to be a rough and often painful stretch of your career, only to be met with a sarcastic smile and a horrendously dismissive line, I suppose I'd have to call that 'humiliating'. given casey has later clarified he believes the line describes valentino's entire career, it is quite a strong reaction for what is at the end of the day still a racing incident in tricky conditions. and... well, for all that the rivalry had essentially shifted to being primarily off-track by this point, given the pair of them were not fighting it out for titles any longer, it was still in some ways playing out in a similar manner. once again, casey has managed to surprise valentino. back in the day, he took on valentino in vale's kingdom of extended wheel-to-wheel combat, and he won. then, valentino took on casey in his domain at laguna seca, and he won. see too casey's autobiography when discussing the race: "we had a lot of great over the years but there were occasions where he would try different tactics that surprised me. laguna seca was one of the occasions where he had to get a result." the element of surprise, again and again. on-track, off-track, how they fight and how they are perceived... take even, for instance, the british fans: casey, who had family in britain, is a native english speaker, moved there initially from australia as a teenager and saw the place as a second home, would have expected the place to love him back like a second home. he certainly wouldn't have expected to be despised by the fans - and it is this thwarted sense of expectation, of vulnerability based on that childhood connection, that ensured casey has more enmity towards the british fans than towards any other nationality (including the italians)

and now, casey is in front of valentino's cameras, playing valentino's game. and he wins. it doesn't matter that the inciting incident itself was far from the worst you'll ever see, it doesn't matter if casey's comment was a proportionate response or not. because here, casey was given an opportunity to get some payback. to dish out some humiliation of his own, from a position of strength. and the thing is, right, nobody would remember this incident if casey had not played into the show of it all. it's not actually the seriousness of valentino's misstep that makes the difference here... because if it was then everyone would still be talking about motegi 2005, surely a worse misstep from valentino - except marco melandri made the mistake of not having a pithy line up his sleeve while valentino was attempting to not faint at all the blood mid-apology. normally, jerez 2011 just isn't the kind of incident anyone remembers. it quite literally was not that serious. but casey understood he could make it that serious... and he's followed through on the promise of the moment by bringing it up again and again and again in the years to come. he has deliberately ensured it will remain a part of the legacy of that rivalry. because it is deliberate, isn't it - if casey is so eager to tell us how much he learned from valentino, then perhaps we should take him at his word, shouldn't we? it's a valentino-esque level of attention paid to the narrativisation of the rivalry - in this case, a level of attention that considerably outstrips the effort valentino has put into crafting his own narrative. but that really is first and foremost a reflection of the emotional stakes of the rivalry for the both of them respectively... if valentino had felt like casey had, he likely would have done much like casey did

so, let's circle back to the idea that casey does not get obsessed with his rivals. as casey puts it in his autobiography: "of course I had looked up to [valentino] as a rider for many years myself but to be honest there was no extra value in beating him as far as I was concerned. it didn't matter to me who finished second as long as I finished first and I never became obsessed with my rivals in a way that some riders do". now, look, 'never' is a big word. 'obsession' is also a big word, so let's not focus on whether casey gets obsessed with his rivals per se - his claim in the autobiography is more broadly that he did not motivate himself through the identity of his rivals, that he didn't care who he was beating. that he had this 'pure' desire to win that was entirely disconnected from his competitors. and to some extent, this notion holds up: clearly, casey would generally have been at his happiest if he had had the track to himself. a few years ago, he said he missed qualifying but not racing. he enjoys pushing himself, enjoys testing himself, is perfectionist in a way that is not dependent on his competition and tended to be overly critical of himself even after his victories. so it's the truth... but it's not the whole truth, is it now? it's not just a drive for perfection that motivates casey. sometimes, he has a point to prove

let's bring in one of my all time favourite casey clips, when wee eighteen year old casey was reacting to his very first grand prix victory. here are his initial thoughts on how happy he is achieve this milestone:

"Very good feeling, you know - to beat the Spanish at their home circuit is very good - especially Hector, who is sponsored by the circuit."

quick bit of context: hector barbera finished third behind both casey and german steve jenkner, a full 1.1s off the race victory. so. casey. my man. what exactly is it about beating the spanish at home that is particularly satisfying? when you say "especially hector", it does almost sound like not all rivals are equally enjoyable to beat. a cynical soul might say that it sounds almost like we're engaging in a teensy bit of schadenfreude here, during the very first win no less. start as you intend to go on, right?

to fully explain why casey might have found besting the spaniards so satisfying is very much a topic for another post, but for now let's just say that it does make sense he would feel this way. we should also acknowledge the more generous explanation here - that a rider from spain might be more familiar with the track, especially if he is sponsored by the circuit. while this is not an explanation I buy, it does not change the fact that obviously, to casey, beating certain opponents did carry some "extra value" with it. he's human! it happens! it's telling that this is pretty much the first thing that comes out of his mouth after the win... we've already established that casey can very much hold a grudge; the next step is to talk about how casey does like to use spite to motivate himself. another obvious example is his repeated rejection at the hands of yamaha (and honda) - when he went to ducati, he wanted to show the other manufacturers that they had been wrong in not choosing him. from his autobiography: he wanted 'nothing more' than to "put every factory honda and every factory yamaha behind me just once and make them sorry that they had passed me up". valentino likes to make his fights personal - and so, to some extent, does casey. all these deeply felt grievances resulting from how he was treated throughout his racing career, throughout his life... if he can use them to fuel himself, why shouldn't he? (for a more left field discussion of casey's use of negative emotion to fuel himself, see here)

and then, of course, there's valentino. you have casey's reaction during the race itself at laguna 2008, intensely personal as it became clear that valentino's desire to beat casey was matched only by casey's desire not to lose to valentino. the determination demonstrated at sachsenring 2010, where casey was willing to do whatever it took to ensure valentino would not take a podium immediately upon his return. his new stance that he would only show on-track respect to the riders who deserve it. his promise that another laguna 2008 would not occur, otherwise valentino would get it back "tenfold". (history's top ten tragedies we never got to see what that would have looked like.) the obvious, undisguised schadenfreude at valentino's struggles on a ducati. casey does like a bit of schadenfreude, or maybe just grim satisfaction - one of the more striking examples is when he devotes a fair number of words to jorge in early 2008 in his autobiography, detailing how arrogant jorge had been towards casey until he *checks notes* started to repeatedly smash up his body and was forcibly brought back down to earth. (also a topic for another post, darkly funny episode when you really dig into it - but this post does include most of the relevant autobiography excerpts.) valentino might be more proactive in acquiring feuds for himself, but casey has such a litany of resentments and grievances at his disposal that he always has a little bit of spite to draw on. and when he's on top, when he sees those who have wronged him suffer, then he can enjoy himself like the best of them

the other element of casey's rhetoric that's worth briefly acknowledging is his belief that 'mind games' are something counterproductive - because why would you make enemies who will then in turn be more motivated to beat you? marc, in this sense, has become quite a useful rhetorical prop to allow casey to argue that valentino made a mistake by making so many enemies. I talked this a little more here and really don't want to spent too long on it in this post - but the idea that valentino suffered any material consequences from making an enemy out of casey just doesn't stand up to any scrutiny. the rivalry ended up becoming quite unpleasant for valentino, but by the time their relationship had truly deteriorated they were no longer meaningfully competing on-track. it would have been interesting to see how their on-track rivalry plays out with the vibes between them so abysmal, so it is a bit of a shame... though maybe they never would have let it get that bad if they had still been competing, with valentino less frustrated and casey not in an equivalent position of strength. as to the disavowal of 'mind games' as a legitimate tactic and the idea that it's a sign of weakness to play them... linked to the idea that certain victories achieved in certain ways become less meaningful, less well deserved than if competitors had gone about things 'honestly'. let's quickly bring in this parallel I drew in this... idk, web weave, compilation, whatever:

now, call me a cynic, but personally I feel like what casey is describing here would in common parlance constitute a 'mind game'. expectation management is basically mind games 101, though it gets upgraded to a 201 if you're being deliberately deceptive about it. this isn't supposed to be a gotcha, not least because casey is capable of a little nuance here - e.g. on one occasion, he adds the revealing caveat that he takes issue with "trying to get into someone's head and doing it in the wrong way". the problem, as he sees it, is giving them a reason to disrespect you, to hate you. a problem valentino is not unaware of - it's also worth pointing out that the single biggest reason casey grew to hate valentino was an on-track battle that swung a championship fight, and from valentino's perspective was unavoidable. casey's critique of valentino's intimidation tactics does have to be accompanied with the context that beating opponents in direct wheel-to-wheel combat was a major part of what made valentino so good, a far more significant element of his game than it was for any other alien. it's just a style of racing that happens to gel with valentino's more 'psychological' approach to competing in general, where as he describes it he does some off-track 'work' to complement the combative on-track process by which he went about achieving a hefty bulk of his victories (topic for another post, but my sense is that valentino wasn't making an enemy out of casey quite as intentionally as casey thought he was)

anyhow, it's part of why the concept of 'mind games' is really only of limited use (see here). nobody is actually going to be opposed to everything that could be seen as playing mind games. while to some extent casey really would have preferred to exist in a universe where his competitors were entirely irrelevant to him and he could just beat the clock on an empty track, part of his process of maturing as a rider and as a person was about being a little more conscientious about the people around him - both in the positive sense of 'no longer subjecting his team to tantrums' and in the... uh, neutral sense of 'paying more attention to his opponents' psychology'. he describes in his autobiography how he'd never felt entirely comfortable around valentino, knew how to read other riders' body language and felt disquieted by the moves valentino was willing to pull, believed him and valentino were on a different "wavelength" (not a bad way of describing their dynamic in general, you'd have to say). after laguna, he speaks of matching his level of respect to the respect shown by the opponent. he learns to adjust his levels of on-track aggression, just as he is willing to mislead his rivals, at least a little. just as he is willing to engage in wars by proxy in the press with an enemy, if it comes to it. the sport isn't just about riding on a track on one's own, unfortunately for casey, but he too could play the game if need be

speaking of playing games, it's worth examining how the pair of them were quite so adept at pissing each other off in the latter years of the rivalry. my pet theory here is that valentino and casey have just enough trigger points in common, just enough overlap in their sensitivities and the criticisms they most loathed to receive, that they ended up perfectly suited to getting under each other's skins. for all his wariness towards the media and initial struggles in expressing himself, there's an argument to be made that casey was the only valentino rival who managed to get to him with his actual words. biaggi certainly never managed to. jorge took a bunch of swings at it, a keen student in the art of mind games - but there's not all that much indication any of it ever landed on valentino's end, who mainly just seemed pissed off by the general fact of jorge's existence. the one exception you could make is perhaps misano 2016, where jorge criticises a pass by valentino during the race that nobody really saw as all that egregious... but, well, you take your chances when you get them, and valentino did seem genuinely irritated when they started bickering in the post-race presser. with sete and marc, there's various assen-based controversies where valentino clearly didn't take particularly kindly to the reactions of the losing party - but this wasn't tied to the specific manner in which his rivals expressed themselves, as much as it was the simple fact they took the loss poorly. I struggle to recall any instance in which even marc, the rival who valentino continues to be the most obsessed with by a fair margin, managed to draw a response from valentino through a verbal provocation. one fairly obvious reason is that unlike casey, marc generally hasn't wanted to provoke valentino - and when he has wanted to, he's tended to do so on the track

but casey and valentino? oh, they clearly got to each other. the real giveaway is the frequency of arguments post-2009, which vastly outstrips any of valentino's other rivalries (especially given the absence of an actual title fight!) and completely dispensed with valentino's general restraint and ability to choose his moments. anything was fair game here and once one of them got in a jibe, the other one couldn't help but respond. partly this was a reflection of valentino's competitive frustrations, and I suppose lashing out at casey was as good a way to pass the time as any. but the simple fact of the matter is that valentino's rivals generally weren't going toe-to-toe with him in any war of words. casey was not only capable but also clearly willing to do so - and they figured out to hit each other where it hurts. all riders are unsurprisingly sensitive to the idea their accomplishments were not achieved through their own merits, but casey and valentino's sensibilities are particularly delicate in that regard. for all that valentino in 2001 to 2003 could enjoy the role of carefree king of the sport, a surefire way of getting to him was by suggesting his successes were down to the bike. as he details in his autobiography, by 2003 he was getting extremely irritable at the suggestion even by riders in his own house (read: biaggi and sete) that his factory status was giving him a massive advantage. it's one of the main reasons he switched to yamaha! he took a massive gamble, partly because he simply had to prove a point and show he was more than just a great bike. in 2014, he notes that marc's successes were generally not being attributed to being on the strongest bike, commenting that perhaps the difference was marc's rivals were less likely than valentino's to complain about bike disadvantages. (this is true broadly speaking, and remains true even after valentino and marc's relationship falls apart.) casey spent much of 2007 becoming increasingly short-tempered at suggestions he owed his title to either the bike or the tyres, annoyed that nobody was seemingly willing to accept he might just be that good. he hates it when riders make excuses for their poor performances by blaming their machinery, remained exceedingly sensitive to any insinuations he might not be extracting the most from his machinery - and generally can't stand it when riders cannot pay credit to others for their successes

so given their respective stances, it should come as zero surprise that they both ended up spending a fair bit of time discrediting each other's successes. again, in 2007 to 2009, they mostly aren't too bad with this. valentino complains a lot about the tyres in 2007 - but he generally frames this as a frustration that he can't fight with casey, rather than saying he would be beating casey without the tyre difference. and he's willing to actually make the gamble to switch the tyres, rather than just continuing to hide behind that disparity as an excuse. for his part, casey criticises valentino on a number of issues, including of course the laguna victory and how valentino went about achieving it. still, more often than not, they stress how much they respect and even admire each other as riders. then, when the relationship goes to shit in 2010... well, you've got stuff like valentino saying casey isn't pushing to the pushing on the ducati and casey talking about how valentino maybe should try not being soundly beaten by his teammate. in the next two years, casey in turn criticises valentino for not pushing to the limit on the ducati, while valentino gets irritable about comparisons made between the pair of them, uncharacteristically publicly sensitive to the idea that casey was more successful and/or more talented. and in his autobiography, casey expands on his jerez 2011 remarks to posit valentino's success relied on building up his confidence in a weak era

now, listen, if we were to fact-check these jibes, most of them would rank somewhere in the 'eh' tier. valentino's belief that he was at a disadvantage on the michelins in 2007 does broadly stand up to scrutiny, not least given what happened in 2008 - but of course, he will have been aware that his stance of 'if we were on the same tyres, the fight would be closer' would be translated to 'valentino is only losing because of the tyres' by much of the media and public. he didn't really need to do his own pr with a lot of this stuff; you can't just judge what he said without taking into consideration the unspoken implications he would surely have known the rest of the sport would run with. then, there's the claim that casey wasn't getting the maximum out of the ducati, which obviously aged horrendously. given the state of valentino's shoulder and how he very much should not have been riding with it, casey's teammate comment feels pretty harsh - though, again, it's probably fair to assume there was some bitterness there on casey's part about how much less sympathy he had been afforded a year earlier when he had been struggling. the criticisms of valentino on a ducati are again harshly phrased, and the bike was probably a fair bit worse than in 2010, which in any case was already a lot worse than when casey won the title in 2007 - though casey was of course right about the lack of progress of the project. the weak era argument is just not a framing I have any interest in within any context so I won't touch that one here, though your mileage will vary on that

the point here isn't to figure out who was 'right' or 'wrong' because, literally, who cares - this is more about establishing that both sides are insulting each other in ways that aren't always particularly 'fair' by their own standards. they're insulting each other in ways they hate to be insulted themselves. and once of them starts, of course the other has to respond in kind, which is how they had a bunch of petty insult contests that typically became races to the bottom. and it's worth remembering that valentino has gotten himself involved in some pretty nasty feuds where he doesn't do this stuff. even in late 2018, for instance, he was saying that marc didn't need to switch from honda to prove himself. he hasn't shied away from acknowledging marc's ability as a rider over the years - as far as he's concerned, his conflict with marc is entirely irrelevant to that. his insults of jorge were generally targeted at jorge's personality more than his ability (minus perhaps the 2009 cold war dramatics where everyone was constantly insinuating the other side was only fast because they were copying set-ups, but that's something different). of course, it's not just casey whose riding valentino has been snide about over the years - but it's the pettiness and frequency that really do stand out when compared to every other valentino rivalry. looking at the full body of evidence at our disposal, it's generally obvious that valentino did rate casey as a rider and suffered under no delusions when it came to either his talent or ultimate potential. but somehow, casey developed this ability to draw valentino into these completely pointless bickering matches. am I really saying, then, that their singular ability to annoy each other is evidence of how similar they sometimes are? well, yes, I suppose I am

again: all riders are to some extent preoccupied by the question of how much of their performances can be attributed to themselves or their bikes. these two are really preoccupied with it - and both have spoken to the importance of not deluding themselves about how their successes and failures have come about. from valentino's autobiography:

Looking back, what I said about wanting a bike that could win at Welkom, well, that was a way of boosting morale, an attempt at wishful thinking. You can't demand something like that. And even if you get it, there's no certainty you'll win. But then again, we riders always say all sorts of things. Sometimes we believe what we say, even when it sounds crazy, other times we're just being hopeful and, still at other times, it's all an exercise in self-delusion. We try to convince ourselves of something, because ultimately, every time you step on the track, words don't matter, and it's just you, the bike and your opponents. In fact, that's the only time you really have a clear picture of things. When you're actually on the track, racing against your opponents. That's when you know where you are and where the others stand. You know how your bike is doing and how those of your opponents are faring. That's the moment of clarity. Then, you can say whatever you like to everyone else: your chief mechanic, your mum, your girlfriend, the press... but, deep down, you know the truth and you know it with crystal-clear clarity. You can tell people you fell because the bike didn't follow the trajectory it was supposed to follow, or tell them that you're actually really fast, but the bike simply isn't. Inside you, however, you know the truth. You know you fell off because you made a mistake, or because your opponent is simply faster than you. And the opposite is also true. Deep down, you know whether your victories were deserved. You know if you won races on the turns, when it's down to your ability as a rider, or on the straightaways, when it's all about the power of the engine. You know the others are looking to make excuses when they say you beat them just because the bike was better. I always knew the truth behind each of my victories, and behind each of my defeats, too. I knew exactly why and how I won or lost. And so, at the end of 2003, after winning everything in sight with the Honda, I was certain I could win with another bike. But, of course, until I actually did it, I couldn't be truly certain. Thus, I set off on my journey, in search of that place where certainty meets truth.

and from casey's:

Livio once said to me that when a rider is not having success they have to find an excuse because the alternative is to accept they are not good enough. If they do that then it is hard to find the motivation to keep digging. Why even bother to keep on racing if you know you can’t win? He says riders always have to have that in them. I find a lot of truth in that, but personally I also think it is a weakness. If a rider truly believes that the bike is the problem and not them, this gives them confidence to keep going. But I have never needed that confidence because my approach is to adapt myself if necessary. I have no problem admitting if it is me who needs to be faster. If the bike had problems I tried to ride around them, not point them out and use them as an excuse.  

I wouldn't say these passages are saying quite the same thing, but at the very least they're in conversation with each other. riders tell themselves stories to protect themselves. but there is only so far that can take you - because eventually, the truth is unavoidable. valentino believes that deep down, riders know the truth anyway, whereas casey's theory is that riders can give themselves false confidence by lying to themselves. both ended up switching manufacturers at age 25, both immediately won their first race on new machinery and proved their point. and it's that point proving that they really are both awfully fond of - valentino is always wrapping up each of his victories in stories, ones that he provides significance in ways that are at times lampshaded with his various celebrations, while casey too is no stranger to finding satisfaction in proving people wrong. it's a love for subverting expectations, for surprising. it's a need to prove themselves, a desire to take on the toughest of challenges and conquer them. it's also not unconnected to their desire to uphold the importance of the rider over the bike, their wariness towards many of the more recent developments in the sport. casey's opinions about many of the technical advances from various electronics to aero to ride height devices are well-documented, and more often than not it is something he and valentino have been most outspoken about among the aliens. (for a recent contrast compare marc's reaction to his ride height device issues in austria and his insistence they need not be immediately be banned - as one of the various post-race podcasts noted, a cynic might suggest this stance could be affected by how he will have access to the very best ride height devices next year, affording him an edge over the competition.) casey and valentino are both interested in preserving the soul of the sport, are in love with its heritage; see the pride valentino takes in having won the last ever 500cc championship, how casey wishes he could have raced with those bikes and was delighted when given the chance to ride one of them last year. valentino has agreed with several of casey's critiques over the years, including in 2013 after their rivalry was already over and he was quizzed about some off casey's comments in press conferences. casey has even acknowledged a certain common ground between the pair of them here, saying in 2018, "he is like me: if it weren't for all these electronics that manage the bike, if the power was controlled only by the rider's right wrist, rossi would still be number one on the track"

a desire to allow riders to perform without too much outside assistance, then, without too much dilution of the 'pure' nature of competition. even casey's disgust at the merest sliver of yellow on the desmosedici reflects that respect for heritage, in a way, and valentino has hardly been shy in paying tribute to racing heritage himself. and yes, there's the desire for truth - the desire to ensure that the sport continues to be decided by riders and their skills more than it does by clever technology, so that the most deserving rider can be revealed. nothing better than a journey where 'certainty meets truth', is there?

and what could be more of a truth-finding journey than a good old fashioned conspiracy theory? those, after all, are all about revealing hidden truths - ones that need to be revealed, ones that only the select few are initially able to perceive. valentino has competed in two title deciders in his career - and casey and valentino have split the honours in coming up with a conspiracy theory for each. in this bold division of labour, valentino took on 2015, accusing another rider of sabotaging his title bid in a seldom discussed incident that has gone a little bit under the radar in subsequent years. casey, for his part, tackled 2006 - believing that valentino had been intentionally sabotaged by way of a faulty tyre. bafflingly, he included this in his autobiography. even more bafflingly, this passage was seemingly changed between editions (more of my thoughts on that here):

I wanted to include both excerpts here mainly because I think both add something to the conversation. and for what it's worth, while valentino has mentioned that his tyres felt weird and it is plausible he may have had a dud tyre, to the best of my knowledge he has never speculated that he was the victim of any dastardly plot to deny him the title

while both valentino and casey's theories are technically speaking in the realm of 'possible', I think we can all agree that they are rather unlikely to be true. sure, there may be elements of truth to both of them - maybe valentino really did have a dud tyre, maybe marc really did race valentino differently - but there's this suspicion of malevolence here that elevates them to the conspiratorial. there is, however, also a clear difference between the two theories that I think can tell us a lot about the pair of them. casey's conspirator is faceless, a shadowy presence - influenced perhaps by uncertain, murky "commercial interests". it is not an individual that plays the villain, but is instead a structure - or certainly a collective - acting maliciously against a single rider. "welcome to my world, mate", thinks casey in response - because this plot has reminded him of all the instances in which nefarious collective actors have done him ill. in some ways, it echoes one of his earliest grievances: being denied the club membership by an australian committee that he needed to be able to continue to race in the country - a committee run by those who wished him ill. 'politics' that casey did not understand, fuelled by 'jealousy and spite', ended up forcing his family's relocation to britain, which made them financially completely reliant on casey's racing. in many of his grievances over the years, you will find echoes of this incident: the jealous and malevolent banding together to use their institutional power to make life hard for casey. in essence, to deny him entry to their clubs - to force him into the role of perpetual outsider. by contrast, valentino's conspiracies take a deeply personal shape, focusing on identifying potential traitors and preemptively striking against them before they can finish their job of destroying him. while valentino might be friendly with many, he has tended towards a tight circle of friends who have known him for a long time, is intensely aware of how establishing close bonds can open someone up to betrayal. the only way to avoid that is by managing vulnerability - and with rivals, more often than not, he would prefer not to have the kind of bond in the first place that would prompt true hatred when betrayed. shallow, violent hatred is acceptable, yes, so is cultivating a little bit of distance when a fellow rider develops into a true rival. but if such a close bond is established, then it only makes sense to suspect that bond in a time of crisis. casey thinks the world is against him - which valentino doesn't think, because it's not. he is on the look out for isolated bad actors, whereas casey is keeping a wary eye on the entire system

I don't want to go too far in pathologising these processes. plenty of casey's grievances are not only legitimate but also an accurate assessment - sometimes, they really are out to get you. valentino's tendency to distance himself from his most immediate rivals is in many ways the sensible way to go about things. but of course, there is not always a hidden truth to be uncovered, the guilty party is not always accurately identified. even casey's animosity towards valentino at times seems strangely impersonal, separate from their direct interactions ("and I dare say valentino as a guy was probably fine", after all) - but instead position valentino as the beneficiary of a system that uplifts him as much as it demonises casey. 'welcome to my world, mate' says casey about the supposed 2006 sabotage, for this is not usually a world valentino occupied. the other process casey deploys is one of abstraction, wherein valentino is to some extent depersonalised, treated less like an individual threat and more representative of broader ills: lack of respect amongst riders, what people are truly 'capable of', the corrupt nature of the european soul etc. valentino for his part never let casey close enough to allow any kind of betrayal - and you can see this from his 2010 comments, that the new hostilities 'please' him because they are the 'truth'. the competitive paranoia that unites them goes beyond what is 'normal' for athletes - with a tendency towards suspicion and conspiratorial thinking more than evident in both of them, even if it expresses itself in somewhat different ways. they're certainly not the most trusting individuals, are they

let's wrap this up, then. what it really comes down to is that valentino unwittingly ended up being pretty much the perfect foil for casey. in a lot of ways, of course, they really couldn't be more different - of course, casey had to run into the ultimate showman, the most ruthless of competitors, the one beloved above all others by the sport and those who govern it. valentino is a walking nightmare for casey to have to deal with: the way he embodied the ideal of sports as an entertainment product, the way he was determined to use every tool at his disposal to humiliate casey. of course, casey simply had to run into a rider with a reputation for breaking rivals, what with everyone already predisposed to seeing him as weak, what with his health problems that allowed much of the motogp world to write him off as broken. of course, casey just had to run into a rival who might as well have been tailor-made to make him suffer

still, casey provided rather a good account of himself in that rivalry. and valentino isn't just a foil in the sense that he provides a striking contrast for casey to define himself against - he is also the agent of transformation who forces casey to learn from him, to grow and change himself, as well as a mirror who can throw into sharp relief elements of casey that might have otherwise gone unnoticed. not to get too jungian here, but the analytical psychologists would say that casey is being forced to confront his shadow self, with valentino quite nicely mapping onto a trickster archetype (junk science but can be fun if you don't take it too seriously). the unconscious elements of casey's personality he is not entirely at ease with, these strict codes and rules and standards he subjects both himself and the rest of the world to... valentino both acts as an embodiment of the various injustices casey has experienced throughout his life, a living breathing representation of many of the grievances casey has accumulated - and as this discomforting presence that teaches casey things about human nature, including those parts of himself that had existed within casey's emotional 'blind spot'. valentino exists in such violent opposition to a lot of casey's most strongly felt ideals that he not only serves as a conveniently malevolent presence to be projected upon at will, but also as this mechanism by which casey is forced to confront the shadow. it's all over his descriptions of laguna - "valentino showed who he really was", "I learned a lot about character, I learned a lot about race craft, I learned a lot about what people were capable of", "I underestimated what people are capable of just to win a race"... valentino deceives, he manipulates, he tricks - but he also serves the function of revealing what was hidden. and on the one hand, it makes casey recommit to his own values, knowing that he would not have acted like valentino did - "in his place I would have apologised", "I couldn't have done that overtaking, if I touched someone and moved them I felt guilty. it was the stupid part of my character, but it was what kept me asleep at night". but on the other hand, it also prompts a transformation within casey - a "change in mindset", something that "helped me in the following years", adopt "a different mentality", that taught him to "be more selfish with my racing", to "race for myself". again: "but, after two years of racing with people who don't worry about you, I've learned that I have to do the same." "people think it was the turning point of the season, but instead it was the turning point of my career, because from that moment I told myself I wouldn't worry about thinking about others anymore" - he's very explicit about this, isn't he? and of course, most memorably: "what happened between me and valentino at laguna 2008 won't happen again, or if it does, he'll get it back tenfold". for all that acting like valentino did would cause casey sleepless nights, if given a do-over then casey believes he would match and surpass valentino's brutality. if that's not being brought in touch with your own shadow I don't know what is

likewise, valentino functions as a focal point for many of casey's issues surrounding public performance, exposing the tension between casey's distaste for this type of public-facing communication in the name of entertainment and his desire to be understood and recognised. once upon a time, casey struggled to even acknowledge appreciation of his skill, much less seek it out

“When he won Superteen races he used to ride round with his hands on the handlebars, so I told him that he should wave to the crowd. He said, ‘no, I’ll feel a real dick’. So he was riding around, hiding inside his helmet, embarrassed with what he was doing, embarrassed with how good he was."

(thinking.) this kind of embarrassment just will not fly if your rival is valentino rossi. nobody was going to rate casey if he didn't at the very least rate himself - and he always did, exhibiting an unwavering belief in his own ability, an ironclad self confidence that kept him going throughout all the turmoil of his career. but he was stuck being simultaneously resentful of how he wasn't being given the credit he felt he was owed and unwilling or unable to articulate his own case. in this rivalry, he was already on the back foot as a result of how obscenely loved valentino was, how skilled valentino was in using that love to his own ends. casey was forced to learn to stand up for himself and take pride in his own unmatched skill and talent. he learned to play valentino's game - and he became very good at it. there's a surprisingly effective communicator buried within the surly, outrageously stubborn introvert... the type who not only could make so cutting a remark after a racing incident that it would live on in infamy, but also understood the power of the moment - an echo, in a way, of valentino stopping on his victory lap to kiss the corkscrew in commemoration of an overlap he had executed on lap four but knew would be the defining image of that race. casey has paired his reputation for straight-talking honesty with a willingness to do a fair bit of talking, if that's what it takes for his narrative of the rivalry with valentino to gradually take purchase. he's always been opinionated, he's always had a lot to say - and eventually he's learned how to say it

in the end, it's all about the shock, and it's all about the awe. they both had the ability to amaze each other on the track, posing such a stern challenge to each other it felt insurmountable. here's both of them in 2021:

CS: "But after the first year in MotoGP, seeing things from the inside, my respect for him had grown - at that moment I thought he was someone almost impossible to beat." VR: “One of the most talented and difficult riders to beat because, for me, about the pure talent, he's unbeatable."

quite something, isn't it, for valentino to call his rival's talent "unbeatable"... he came up with quite some praise of casey back in the day, labelling him both a 'devil' and a 'god'. to valentino, the danger casey represents was in his youth, his raw, unmatched talent, exhilarating to face and to attempt to best. to casey, valentino was a reference, someone who served to 'validate' casey's career achievements. it's a rivalry memorable for its violence, in the vitriol they reserved for each other, in how capable they were of dragging each other down - but in this process, a lot was also revealed about the pair of them, and especially casey. it is the central rivalry of casey's career, one he might not be 'obsessed' with but certainly shaped him above all others. sometimes, it was defined by how different the two of them were, sometimes by how casey changed to use some of valentino's playbook himself - and sometimes, by how they may have been a little more similar than anyone would have expected all along

[sholmeser]

THANK YOU finally someone here has a good take regarding the "haha barok and kazuma violently hate each other" thing?? ppl insisting that their dynamic post-game is always gonna keep being the exact same as when they're at their most extreme emotional states just... baffles me, especially since they're literally shown to be civil to each other right afterwards. it's Right There! idk why so many ppl ignore this! in general their circumstances are so unique that it's a huge disservice to boil them down just to being haters.. like yeah they're gonna be huge mess after everything, but not in the way that fandom usually potrays them. if kazuma fully hated the guy i don't think he'd insist on keeping the apprenticeship the way he did in game. sorry if any of this makes no sense, i have too much bottled up rage regarding fandom nonsense. nuance and character growth are nonexistent to people here

also scrolled through your other posts a tiny bit and i feel you, it truly is hard to be in this fandom and not be an as//ry liker, especially if you're a kazuma enjoyer. difficulty level: impossible. you're not alone tho! :')

sorry for leaving this in your inbox, hope you have a nice day/night!!

ANON….THANK U…..i feel like a big problem with the dgs fandom in particular is that they dont really consider how 2-5 affects character dynamics post-canon? because all the change is right there. ive talked about this but its like portraying kazuma’s relationship with ryuunosuke as Exactly The Same post-canon when it would be DRASTICALLY different despite them still loving each other very much, because ryuunosuke now sees all of kazuma. he was only seeing a very small part of who he was before, and his entire perception of his best friend got dismantled and replaced by a completely different one in a really short period of time.

the exact same is true for kazuma and barok: they have despised each other so deeply and irrevocably for a DECADE and now suddenly they have to accept the fact that nobody really did anything wrong. kazuma tried to send barok to his death, but he was doing it out of grief and rage built up over ten years. barok convicted genshin and that led to him dying, but he was young and naïve and grieving and being manipulated by stronghart the entire time. genshin killed klint but he did so honorably. klint was a murderer but all he wanted was to make his home a better place for the people in it. its all so complicated and nobody is completely innocent or completely at fault. everyone did something wrong for good reasons and everyone did something good for the wrong reasons. it’s too nuanced of a situation for them to truly go on hating each other the way they used to, because they’re both MATURE ADULTS who can understand the intricacies of the situation.

do i think they dunk on each other post-canon? i mean. yes. obviously. do i think they HATE each other, still, to this inane degree? no. obviously. their relationship is going to be strained. there’s literally no way that it wouldn’t be. but they respect each other, they hold each other in high regard, and they’re respectful. and it sucks because these changes in dynamics are literally SHOWN at the end of 2-5 but people just like. cant. comprehend them. like i just don’t get it. also if kazuma is going to hate anyone in the cast its going to be herlock like he fucking SHIPPED HIS AMNESIAC CORPSE TO CHINA and never apologized for it i would NOT be letting that go anytime soon

[justalittlebluetiefling]

I am honestly very confused by Ashton's whole POV right now and wish someone would just ask him if he wants to stop Ludinus' plan or just stop Ludinus, but go through the plan himself??? Because otherwise why are they even debating about the gods right now if the only known way to kill them is to release predathos? Which I thought everyone agreed was a BAD idea? I'm just confused because I feel like all the arguments just go in circles and nothing is ever decided. I did miss the last hour or so.

I feel like this post sums it up pretty well. It's really a brilliant distraction technique from Ludinus, as this post points out.

Below the cut because this got long.

Anyway, I will admit to being less than engaged with this campaign, so take what I say next with a grain of salt. Ashton's life sucked. Obviously. We all know that. I do think it's interesting that they're latching onto this 'the gods are bad' so hard considering the ritual that kind of ruined their life was actually tied to Ka'mort, a Primordial, and not a god. But you know, past trauma is deeply tied to the way they've been reacting to this. I know I saw another post about this, too, but I can't find it. And I think Ashton actually said it in game. How Ashton is the most similar to Ludinus in this. Ludinus is so blinded by vengeance that he isn't looking past his goal and that is exactly how Ashton is approaching this. In their opinion, the fallout doesn't matter, because people are already dying in the name of the gods. Why does the scale people are dying on make much of a difference when they might have died anyway?

I would probably be a little more willing to hear his POV out if he weren't recycling a lot of the same rhetoric as Ludinus. I am trying to remember that we got more information from Downfall than they all did and that I went in it more willing to forgive the Primes for their actions, because I think wizard hubris is super fun and worth dying for and sometimes you dig too deeply and you have to expect that eventually, something is going to bite back. But that's not the point here.

My point is that I get your confusion, but I also think that their perspective is really interesting if we think about the things they're focusing on. Like, yes, "nothing should be that powerful" is a big one. But most of what they kept pointing out was the fact that the gods view each other as family. Which is really simplifying their whole deal, but we do what we have to as mortals to understand something. MY POINT THOUGH. And the thing I think is super interesting here: Ashton seems to feel more betrayed by the Primes working with the Betrayers again than anything else. They keep bringing that up. I'm not sure if I'm reading too much into it, but they seem less focused on the mass destruction (because again, people are always dying) than that the Betrayers and the Primes made an alliance. In Ashton's words, they worked together happily. Ashton didn't pick up on any of the hesitance. They didn't pick up on Sarenrae working with Asmodeus out of necessity or the way Dawnchild was always trying to keep himself between the two. He noticed how much the Wildmother missed the Betrayers. On the sort of morbid way the Betrayers also missed the Primes. "If I promise to take care of you, can I torture you forever?" "One day, I'm going to spin you up in my web and never you let go."

I do generally feel less qualified to speculate on Tal's characters, because I don't always click with them but as frustrating as Ashton's perspective is here, I also think it's so interesting that what they're focusing on is exactly what Ludinus wants everyone to focus on. It is very much not someone looking at the bigger picture. At the endgame. They're reacting exactly the way Ludinus hopes everyone reacts. It's frustrating, but it makes sense to me.

[unfortunatesal]

The Teal Mask DLC for Pokemon Scarlet & Violet fucking rules

So, I haven't mentioned this here, but I genuinely do like Pokemon Scarlet & Violet. It's... deeply flawed for sure. The game is a buggy mess, the level scaling (or lack thereof) is atrocious, the way random encounters are handled fucking sucks with you running into shit constantly and it's just. not very challenging.

But it has a huge, huge plus that to me, makes up for all of that, and it's one that I'm strongly biased towards. Though... it's technically two: the plot, and the characters.

Now, Pokemon has never been bad at character design, really. The characters are always endearing and cool and whatnot. But besides some exceptions like N and Bianca, they're never all that interesting, at least to me. They're not much more than pleasant. But Scarlet & Violet has *great* characters, it's by far its strongest suit. The gym leaders aren't anything deep, but they do have such distinct and memorable personalities that they just... stick with you. Maybe it's recency bias, but I could tell you that Katy is a sweet old lady, Brassuis is a massive theatre kid, Iono is an energetic vtuber, Kofu is a goofy uncle, Larry is a depressed businessman, Ryme is... I guess a rapper, honestly Ryme isn't that interesting imo, Tulip has extremely bad vibes and I do not want to be near her, and Grusha is a jaded cynical twink with PTSD. These are all great!

And those are characters from the "bad" storyline, the one with little to no narrative merit! The Team Star storyline absolutely rules and is just, genuinely really good and the way it slowly unpacks an unflods the actual reality of what Team Star is and what happened with them is just, wonderful. I love the direction it goes in and the message it conveys. And the herba mystica storyline is! Okay! It's fine! People seem to love it but I just think it's kind of okay. I will say that Arven's storyline is general is great, but it only really reached that point when you get to Area Zero which is a whole other thing and is also just, great.

And the rivals, or rival-like characters, are fantastic. I especially love Nemona who is an austistic yandere icon (but only yandere in the Pokemon sense, where Pokemon battles are everything and are considered an almost intimate experience at times in Scarlet & Violet as a whole???)

Nemona is absolutely my favourite rival, or *was*, until the Teal Mask DLC came along and introduced two rivals that, ahem, rivaled her. Both are just massive, massive hits in my book, and... I want to talk about why, because they have been living rent-free in my head and the yare 2 of the 3 elements that make the Teal Mask DLC so great, the third being Ogerpon herself, which I will get to later.

OH BY THE WAY I WILL BE SPOILING THE TEAL MASK DLC SO IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN IT, DO NOT READ

So, the first notable rival is Carmine. And she definitely acts like a Pokemon rival in the classic, Gary / Silver, huge asshole kind of way. As soon as you meet her, she tells you to get the fuck out of her village and challenges you to a battle. She's kind of a dark Nemona in a sense, in that she takes the tsundere approach instead of the yandere approach. She totally doesn't love battling you or spending time with you or anything, obviously not! There is so much romantic tension between you and every single Scarlet & Violet rival and it fucking rules, especially since it manifests so differently for all 3 of them.

But... eventually, Carmen warms up to you, and you start getting along with her. She helps you out and becomes a reliable partner, and ends up having absolutely no qualms being friendly with you. The thing is, though... Carmen never stops being an asshole. She continues to be kind of a bitch throughout the entire story! She just becomes a bitch in a very endearing and likeable way, and directs that bitchiness in a productive, fun, and even helpful ways, and that's just wonderful. She's pretentious, quick to anger, looks down on everything and everyone, and I love her so fucking much

And then, there's Kieran, Carmen's litle brother and also my precious son. Kieran is kind of the opposite of Carmen. He doesn't seem like a rival at all. He's just a shy and nervous kid who clearly likes you a lot and wants to be friends and get along with you. Just a sweet little kid with anxiety! Extremely likeable, extremely endearing, you can't not love the kid

But then you learn he has a huge fixation with Ogerpon and other creatures that are demonized and treated as outcasts. Still endearing, but gives him a lot of depth! And, oh god, my boy has the BPD and he is absolutely FPing Ogerpon. He gets increasingly upset and incomfortable with you getting close to Ogerpon when he isn't able to, and starts sulking and running off, and man, I've been there. I know what it's like and I feel for Kieran so much.

This all comes to a head when you catch Ogerpon, and add her to your party, thus preventing Kieran from being close to the creature he loves and admires so much. After that, he starts to lose it, and becomes an extremely compelling rival who straddles the line between friend and antagonist. The cliffhanger ending suggests that he'll continue to spiral out of control for the next DLC and god, I am so here for it. I love his story arc so, so fucking much and I cannot wait to see what they do with it

And then, there's Ogerpon. Ogerpon is a precious little creature who was deeply wronged by the village, deomized and cast aside from the start. The mian antagonists of the arc, the Loyal 3, took advantage of her status as an outcast to kill her only friend and steal what was most precious to them, causing her to fight back, and be cast as the villain for centuries as a result. And. Fuck. I love Ogerpon so much. I love her story, I love the way it's resolved, I love how it ties into Kieran's character and the final fight against Ogerpon herself. I used to not know what to say when people told me what my favourite Pokemon is. Now, I know, and I'm so grateful fto the Teal Mask DLC for that.