#and i like reading fics and feeling like im reading a good book!!
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what happened to fics tho? almost all of them are character x reader now. no i do not want to remember that i exist. i do not want to be a part of it. i just wanna read about already existing characters and their interactions based on canon
#the word 'you' throws me off so much??#who is me??#idk if its just me but#no pun intended#is anyone else bothered by this?#does anyone have any recs of fics like these that could change my mind?#i dont wanna change my mind but if there are good fics maybe i should try?#also this way of writing is not like a classic book#and i like reading fics and feeling like im reading a good book!!#i havent been on tumblr for the past few years so this is a sudden change for me#how popular those fics are i mean
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cant stop thinkin bout charles and erik readin together on the couch but instead of reading with him charles is listening to eriks thoughts while he reads. Live mind commentary ā¦ā¦..
#xmen#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#snap chats#the rare time i post an idea of mine only because i really cant think of a way id draw this#usually i hoard my ideas cause i like surprising you guys but this aint really one i feel like drawing so. For You my friends#like i COULD but. idk just isnt particularly something im itching to draw it just seems cute#but anyways no chat let me cook alright hear me out cause i talk in my brain all the time while i read#sometimes i stop reading just to think about a bit i read yeah#i want charles to listen in on all of eriks side comments or observations he makes while reading something#like if he wanted to charles could read the whole book in less than five minutes- maybe shorter than that#and that aint fun that aint cool ā¦. so time for Audible: Husband Edition. With Commentary#ITD BE SO COZY just hangin out by the fireplace ā¦. maybe its snowin outisde ā¦ if snow even exists anymore atp#a light fire cracklin and the study SEEMS totally quiet otherwise and yetā¦..#charles has been locked in to erikās off-the-cuff literary analysis and mild comments for the past twenty minutes. its simple but its bliss#charles doesnt have to worry about being seen as invasive .. he doesnt have to suppress his powers ā¦#the rare occasion erik lets charles into his mind for somethin so innocent .. ive made myself sick i fear#see now i wanna try writing a fic but 1.) have written in years 2.) id have to really think hard on how erik would commentate on a book#hmā¦ā¦ actually i do wonder what erikās commentary on The Fable of the Bees would be ā¦..#IN ANY CASE. maybe - at the very least- i can draw cherik by the fireplce someday ā¦.#thatd be cute ā¦ hm ā¦. depends on if i get in the mood for it down the line#anyways i have to drive back to my dorm !!! boo !!!! so good night everyone !!!!!
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uh oh i can feel myself getting bogged down in the perfectionism sauce again... i need to write smth stupid and self indulgent ough
#rimi talks#it also does not help that my head is so FUcking hurty rn but that i slept too much and now i cant sleep more#like now im just bored of sitting here going aw my head hurts :(#why is being in pain sofucking BORING i ask you.#(thinking abt all the fics i could write) man it woudl be so cool if i knew how to write#<- i say this bc im struggling with words rn. which is a problem bc i would like to write rn. bc im bored. however .#like what else can i do with myself!!!!!! my eyes hurt!!!!!!#can't play video game bc moving images hard. can't read book bc eyes hurt. can't do podcast bc audio processing is Shot.#i COULD sit here with my eyes mostly closed and type but i cant THINK good????#which i mean i can still do but its frustrating to constantly feel like i can't think as well as normal. ugh#chronic migraines when i fuckign get you#BUT i guess having a migraine is a great excuse to write something silly and indulgent that doesnt require much planning or thought#so if i can just figure out what that somethign is. that might be a potential boredom cure
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a month ago i said i would yell about misogyny and patriarchal themes in fanfiction and eventually i will but there are so many thoughts and feelings in my head that it will take me forever to type it down. But i will say this
Be critical of the things you read. iām not saying you CANT read for enjoymentāyou CAN and SHOULD read for fun. But iām saying that sometimes you should take notice of the themes in writing and think āwow, i wonder why thatās written like that. Is this harmful or is this helpful?ā
itās a given that fanfiction is widely heteronormative because society and media blah blah blah We know all of this ā¦ but in my opinion i think itās important to think about why women in hetero fics are portrayed the way they are sometimes. I think reader insert fics have gone a long way in being more inclusive and less harmful than they were years ago BUT. Do not let that stop you from recognizing themes in the works you read right now
like; Why are misogyny-affected people written a certain way?? Why are there often degrading themes in a lot of tropes and fics regarding women?? Why are there certain roles that misogyny affected people are expected to fulfill even in fiction?? why are women often the ādefaultā for fics with male characters?? think about any of these questions for like longer than two minutes, read a bad fic, and you will probably see where iām coming from
#this might be mindless nonsense#but i hope whoever is reading this can see where im coming from#there are a lot of harmful tropes in fanfiction#even those without a feminine leaning reader#and i think it's importnat to read for enjoyment while also thinking about the underlying meaning in writing#Everything is written the WAY it is written for a reason#whether the author realizes it or not#whether YOU as a reader realize it or not#i think very strongly of this#thereās a video i watched that re-ignited a lot of strong feelings for me about this#'booktok brainrot and why its okay to be a hater' by alisha not alihsha#very good points and that video mainly talks about like actual PUBLISHED books but that still very much applies to fics#all writing is important#i may maybe delete this later sigh#i really hope i do not come off as some elitist writer#the point is. read and write for fun. but sometimes its important to take the time to think about why things are the way they are#and if what youre writing/reading contributes or takes away from the harm#nora speaks
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#okay like sue me. sometimes i google 'neioo' just because im a nosey bitch and want to see if anyone is talking about my fics#(i just got a comment on awh and like it makes me nostalgic etc. whatever. wanted to see if anything posted somewhere prompted it)#and i havent done this in a while#so please tell me why. WHY am i cited in someone's fucking PhD dissertation#yes the paper overall is about fandom and examining hetalia in particular so it's not like out of left field#but there are two fics total cited and mine is one. AND also there is a post from my fucking neioo blog cited???#like my book announcement one??#and neither of these are cited directly in the dissertation just at the end#so now i feel like im going a bit insane but like okay#i have work i need to be doing and i was reading this fucking dissertation instead#wish i could turn to 15 year old me and be like 'hey there champ. you know that fic series youre day dreaming in your head#that you don't want to write down because you think no one will read it#good stuff. anyway. one day it'll be cited in a dissertation#oh and your grandmother will have read it. have a good day'#...............well. now i need to focus back on work
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Getting off my ass and downloading my favorite fics to put on a jump drive I bought with a fuck tonne more storage than the two I already had from when I was in school and, wow, this is actually so much easier than the rest of the stuff Iāve been downloading for various reasons (articles on stuff I want to have around but worry might be impacted by this new presidency). You just pick pdf (or whatever you like) and bam! Itās right there in your downloads ready to be stashed away, no annoying nitpicking where I have to delete stuff I donāt need in the document or huge blank spaces, itās just ready! Like, listen. I love āprint friendly and pdfā Firefox extension, but I always have to end up deleting some stuff that is just taking up space. It does its job! Itās just not going to be neat and tidy when the website doesnāt intend for you to do this. Archive of our own does that whole thing of making a pdf themselves! This is going to go so much faster than the other stuff Iāve been downloading as pdfs
Anyway, I love you as well Smithsonian magazine website for not only being free, but also just having that extension on all your articles! Thatās actually how I found it in the first place. Before that I was copy pasting every paragraph into a pages document and it was way more tedious.
#emma posts#I feel like an old woman who figured out how to use her email#more and more every day#I am not bad at computers while also being bad at computers#Iām getting sidetracked here though#I really just keep developing tricks to solve my computer problems but then thereās an easy solution that I just donāt know about#like that Firefox extension#am I good or bad with computers? I think a secret third thing#Iāll think Iām bad with them and then Iāll see someone who is just straight up terrible with them and Iām like#āwell. im not great. but im also not thatā#I wonāt ever be able to download every fic I want to read#Iām sorting through my bookmarks to take what I think I should grab. but I have so much in the āwant to readā thing#I donāt know if my jump drive could pull that and all my non fanfiction off#I really havenāt purchased a jump drive in awhile though#I saw the storage on one of the first to come up and was like āholy shit!ā#girlie has not purchased one since 2015 okay#I really hope I just end up doing this and then it turns out I didnāt need to#but if I didnāt do it and it turns out I needed itā¦#no. wouldnāt want that#I need sleep. I just started laughing at the thought of having illicit Wikipedia articles on a jump drive like some heinous shit#but itās literally just an article about the history behind Yule or something#forbidden out of Africa Wikipedia article PDF#I donāt know what kind of stuff falls under the stuff in that project 2025#they have brains that work in ways I donāt understand#you know some of them would be like āyou have to take down your article about ice age humans because creationism real I guessā#āhow dare you have information on the history of religion?!ā scandalous#and I know I can never afford to buy books on every single one of those things#but science magazines and Wikipedia articles? sure#Iām getting really sidetracked but this is making me feel like I can do something#itās giving me some sense of control and distraction and if I donāt have those things to channel this energy Iāll just get worse
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read a fic so good it made me feel a bunch of neil feelings :'(
#my posts#my aftg posts#aftg#it's called 'but i've walked this far' and i reblogged it some time ago#the writing in it is so fucking good i felt like i was reading the book#it also felt... familiar#think i've read smth by the author. whoever they are#but if i haven't. well that's a travesty#anyway the point is that. as much as i adore neil (AND I DO)#i rarely feel neil feelings. pretty much only when im rereading the books#or when i stumble across a fic like this#i just went and left a second comment#for the first time on a one-shot#lowkey do writers mind multiple comments on a one-shot :(
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How do I explain the ways in which the bill origins fic 'A Romance of Many Dimensions' by haley3 rewired my brain without needing to give paragraphs upon paragraphs of context. The fic is something like 200,000 words long. Almost every single good moment calls back to things that are set up earlier in the fic
#godsrambles#girl help 'the colors in our universe are the same as the ones in his home dimension because our universe is made out of a piece of bill'#makes NO sense without adding way more context#not to speak of 'bill is obsessed with ford because he can Feel the same cosmic thread connecting them as the one that drew him towards-#-meeting his henchmaniacs which makes him convinced against all odds that ford is gonna join him'#and the long beginning is set in flatland. its what finally got me to read the book flatland#and now I will literally think to myself 'its not that i Have to do x or y tasks. i GET to do x or y tasks isnt that great'#'i get to live in a physical form that experiences so many vivid thoughts and sensations while on bills favorite planet in the multiverse'#and i will be like 'why should i drag my feet about learning this or doing that. bill was literally trapped in a 2d world-'#'and KILLED to be able to experience a life as 3d and colorful as the one im in'#'and just like bill was so desperate to learn and see and do Everything that the axolotl gave him a ton of power so he could do that.'#'i Also want to learn and do and see everything i possibly can. and i literally HAVE the chance to do that'#'so i'd better start actually Trying to do and see and learn everything i can'#and then i brush my teeth slightly more often or whatever#fucking unhinged and ridiculous way of getting myself to do tasks#the events of this fic arent even my headcanon for bills powers and backstory. i just think its neat!#and now my brain has been permanently rewired by a got dam fan fic.#anyways sorry for all the spoilers but i mean. i doubt many folks would decide to read a fic that long without being intrigued by spoilers#most frustrating thing is that the hard hitting spoilers SEEM understandable without context.#but i promise there is a lot of context missing that makes it make sense why they are good plot points and not just weird random happenings#edit: its 200000 words not 600000. how did I misread that
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you know, its not brought up in fics often but ted is extremely well read. he doesnt brag about it, but hes read everything from f scott fitzgerald's b sides to ayn rand's doorstoppers to the sixteen book Ender series, etc etc etc. Ted reads about as much as we see Beard reading (which. in my head is a trait that was passed on, a new focus to sharpen the mind and keep him out of trouble and his mind off drugs, something Ted offered up as a coping mechanism for when his own dad died, a way to have fun and adventure and escape without ending up in jail like Ted himself had a handful of times before, scaring the bejeezus out of his ma.)
this turned into a mini fic and i lost my train of thought but point is, Ted reads So Much and more people need to pick up on this in fics please and thank you.
#ted lasso#hes got an artistic soul!#but also anyone whos fav book is the fountainhead must be both well read and stubborn as a bull#its a slog and thats coming from someone whos read both infinite jest and les mis#im getting through it slowly but surely. mostly to stretch my story endurance before jumping into atlas shrugged#also. yes i know we have no evidence that he read all 16 ender books#but having had read them myself i know in my heart of hearts that ted absolutely finished every one of them with gusto#probably on the bus to and from games with his team back in the US#no wait hold on. he was a backup punter right? that means LOTS of time sitting on the sidelines waiting for a whole bunch of nothing#lots of time was spent watching the plays and the team and formulating im sure (which is also probably why he trusts nate so much in the#beginning. bc that used to be him sitting on the sidelines taking it all in) but also theres long stretches of no play in american football#during which he probably read like a demon to keep his grades up and keep his scholarship#so that this ma never had to worry about him away at school. He wasnt going to get into trouble anymore not like he did in high school#he had to be the man of the house and gosh darn it was he going to do it with gusto#which meant good grades and learning about life and people and spending all that free time the right way#therefore: books. an easy habit that keeps him out of trouble and keeps his mama proud. plus itd be easy to hide from coaches under his pad#if they ever had a problem with it (which im sure they would at first but once he proved he was paying attention and wormed his way in#with the team even as a reserve well. they were less eagle-eyed after that concerning the paperback-shaped lumps under his jersey)#anyway have another mini fic i guess lol#im feeling a tad verbose today
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ive had a very weird day today. it was good but lots of novelty. i read an entire book without feeling ghe hours or checking the pages and actually not being able to tear myself from it in the first time in years. i saw a movie about SPOILERSSSSS a reformed trans cartel leader with musical numbers. i had period cramps but i also had a pretty good pad thai. also it rained. man
#funny how reading 1 good book makes you feel like a person again#man idk im just realising how much i fucking missed reading#and not fics. because those are always the same characters#i missed getting attached to characters and actually feeling immersed in a story i forgot how much i loved it#falling out of reading sucks bc theres this guilt and shame every time you cant seem to get into a book and you cant tell if its the book#thats not for you or if youve just fully lost the ability to read. also the shame of thinking how you would eat up 800 page books in one#night age 11 and now you cant get through 20 pages#man. i missed reading i hope this book was a good start to get me reading more again#alex.rambles.txt
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Hes so silly and we love him for it
#dc liveblog#hes just having a great time right now. having fun and getting silly with it#dc liveblog update: ive started the nightwing arc (where he dresses as nightwing)#not entirely sure what jason is trying to do here yet but its fun watching him#i never expected the āoh my goodness gracious ive been bamboozledā panel to be real and i am so pleased#as for the end w the batarang. hmm!#ive seen fic interpretation of that scene. and yeas it is fucked bruce hit him in the neck#i feel like there may have been other options there#However.#it does still get dramatized like most everything else when hit w the fanon beam#i mean. ive seen plenty of things saying bruce saved the joker. certainly not the case. joker exploded the building and bruce booked it#and then a jason panel bc yknow. jason exploded#but its not like he was left to try and escape the explosion itself while joker was rescued#im getting the feeling the bats intended to patch jason up i think. the explosion very much messed with his original plans#i wonder if any later comics add in those things ive seen in fics. or if its entirely fanon. questions thatll be answered the more i read#i suppose#still messed up with the batarang alone though. like that was alot of blood#and he absolutely died here#he got better though because he is simply the universe's special little boy /silly#also the yellow Lazarus pit is the coolest thing ever why does everyone say green. i mean. i know a later version makes it green i think#but yellow is soo cool#my theory is the green won for dp crossover reasons
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when i read fics from fandoms, donāt ask me why idk, my brain automatically assigns a character and that is the only characters pov or centered fic that i will read for that fandom (most of the time)
its not that theyāre like my favourite character in that media or anything its just like yep only this dude no one else - absolutely no clue why, truly
#like there could be so many good fics centred on different characters but i just like cant read them#it feels like wrong idk#it makes more sense if the media was a book and i can only read from the main characters pov#but whrn its a show im like wht tf did my brain choose this guy#im looking at u steve harrington#text post#marauders#remus lupin#harry potter#sirius black#james potter#peter pettigrew#remus#sirius#lily evans#marauders era imagine#marauders textpost#sirius orion black#remus john lupin#wolfstar#marauders fandom#marauders era textpost#ao3fic#ao3 fanfic#read on ao3#archive of our own#stranger things fandom#steve harrington#spiderman#peter parker
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People need to stop making Rhaenicent if they were canon edits, it's killing me ššššš
#i read a fic right after s1 ended#canon divergence of them if they had gotten along better#them being the power couple ruling after viserys died#and laenor and his bf happily coexisting#and man......it just murdered me bcs im like why cant this be the show im watching instead šš#i love hotd a lot and i like what it is#but imagine an au show of lesbian queens š#funny bcs theres the whole divergence in the fandom btwn book readers and non book readers#being like 'they changed this too much!!!' vs 'i dont care bcs the show is better off for it' etc etc#and then me in the corner playing with dolls making them kiss#i actually really like that the show makes their relationship less black/white than it seems to be in the book#i like that they keep having these moments where you can sense reconciliation#but ir just doesnt happen#but it also does make me mourn for what an interesting gl show that could be#lmfao not that im like THEY SHOULD DISREGARD THE CANON ENTIRELY#but more that this is a ship thats so good in canon to me that i desperately wanna see a show abt it#aaaaghhhhh god damn it i never feel this way about ships š this is why i never ship f/f most of the time#anyways. yeah. š people keep making edits/aus and it kills me#can someone please hire emma d'arcy and olivia cooke and make a rip-off fantasy gl drama of hotd? thanks#catie.rambling.txt
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I'm starting to think the reason I'm not as good of a writer as I want to be is because I like writing more than I like reading.
#which isnt to say i dont like to read#but i find it so difficult to get interested in new fiction#why would i bother reading stories other people wrote when i could just write mine?#i don't have this issue reading nonfiction ive been so into nonfiction#and i feel like THAT has helped me write better just by teaching me about more things so i can make worlds make more sense#but one time i told somebody i was writing a story that's kind of a zombie apocalypse but for plants and they said#'oh that's exactly like this other book' (i forget the name) 'you should read that one!'#and it made me unreasonably angry#i don't care abt someone else's story with a vaguely similar concept. i care abt mine.#and i know this makes me seem like an asshole and i probably am for this specific thing#but i read every book i could get my hands on as a child#and then as soon as i was able to write my own stories that stopped being the case#like all that reading was just training me to do what i can do now#and i think if i could just get over my disinterest in other ppl's fiction books and start practicing deconstructing what makes a good stor#i would start improving my writing more#and short stories! fuck. i hate reading other ppl's short stories unless they're written by friends#but as im starting to submit my short stories to publishing magazines n stuff#im realizing i'll have a better chance of getting published if i read the other stuff those mags have posted before#and write what they want to have submitted. but then it's not necessarily what *i* want to write. u know?#i don't know how to fix this fundamental problem of me preferring writing over reading#(and this applies to fanfic too btw. i hardly ever seek out fic to read unless a friend sends it to me. and often i like it when they do!#but not as much as i like writing or reading my own writing.)#just why would i READ when i could be WRITING and writing is so much more FUN
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literally shrieking. i stumbled on ur 100k stephanie brown fic by complete chance, loved it, found your tumblr only to discover you are also READING ORV??? THE SERIES EVER????
god. have so much fun. have so so much fun. i cannot wait to see what you come up with for the series
HAHA YUP. I'm 80% through I swear to God I'll finish it. I just found out some choice facts about the Secretive Plotter and my brain is breaking. It's definitely The Most Thing Ever. Every time I open it it's like getting blasted by a fire hose of parental abandonment and alternate timelines.
I'm facing a problem I've had before, which my brain very much wants to write something for it, and I have plenty of ideas, but absolutely none of them are good. If the inevitable orv fic isn't incredible I'm committing seppuku. It feels stupid to have no good ideas for orv, which by the logic of orv can hold almost any idea there is, but hitting the characters right is fucking difficult and you have to hit a hard balance of hitting exactly like orv while also being better (or just differently) structured than orv. I don't want to write it just like orv, but if I don't then there's no point. Maybe likely nothing'll get written because I'll be too perfectionist about it.
Relatedly, now I'm reading a lot of other #gamer manwha. And I finally found another one which matches up to orv for me, which is SSS Class Suicide Hunter. It's not a hydraulic press to the skull like orv but in many ways it's better done. That was probably the hardest I've cried at a work of fiction since I was a teenager. I won't write fic for it, it's like painting on the Mona Lisa, but Jesus it's incredible. If you're an orv fan check it out. If you aren't hyper-familiar with Buddhist philosophy you'll miss a lot, though.
#me: āI need a fucking fic idea"#me: āmagical girl sys who fights magic book monsters in search of her missing ahjussiā#me: āI need a GOOD fucking fic ideaā#my asks#anybody read fucking sss class suicide hunter around here. anyone. im losing my shit#ive never read anything like it i feel different now#murim arc has shifted something in me#i think dongja would agree with kdj's problem solving methods (suicide)#but would have no respect for him as a person due to his blindness to the trauma his martyr syndrome brings to others#jesus figure vs bodhisattva figure FIGHT
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text so good its got me writhing
#could be about various poems as well but currently?#you already know what tf im talking aboutā¼ļø#reading this goddamn fic again AGH the things left unsaid weighing so heavily you can TASTE them#everyone knows the implications..... everyones considering the implications......#i need to print this and bind this into a physical book IMMEDIATELY so ill never have to even think about losing it#wriggling and writhing about but not in anguish in awe of good writing#with books i need to take photos of the pages or walk around after a good part#woth fics apparently i need to writhe and twist around like my life depends on it#my post#wormpostingšŖ±#gripping my hair rolling back and forth taking deep breaths as these ASSHOLES talk about their feelings for once.#as if i haven't already fucking read this before.#literature is so incredible.....
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