#and i like kinda panicked abt being alone a little bit but he has all his friends and i'm happy for him but bitch when can that be me

[l0stfoster]

I have never felt more loved in my life thank you for loving me and the autistic tendencies this au has brought out of me 🫶🫶🫶 - paul anon

While we’re at it can we hear more abt the ritual/when paul got the markings? And when darry saw them for the first time how did that play out ??

Also, i saw what he was mfing reading in that one doodle you cant hide from me. Is there ever a time where Paul tries to get rid of his powers and what happens ?? Does he succeed (which I hope he does NAWT)?? Does he fail?? Does he get caught ?? Like i need details its all im thinking about

I need you to know how quickly the grin on my face appeared when I read this. It was instantaneous, immediately a little smirk. Ohhhh how I've been waiting for this one.

There's a LOT of typing because Paul's lore stuff was one of my favorites to create, so everything is below the cut as usual. Though, just to be safe as well. Your question isn't being answered in order, cutting it up a bit differently. The first two questions have little drabble kinda answers with their bullet points, 'cause I had felt silly.

// mentions of child abuse, ritualistic self-harm, and implied passive suicidal ideation

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

When Darry saw Paul's markings for the first time, how did that play out ??

Paul's scars weren't exactly something Darry had been unaware of. More specifically, it had always been the pair of scars horizontally along Paul's forearms that he'd gotten adjusted to seeing. He made his own assumptions. He never asked about them, either, since Paul made his contempt for them clear each and every time he made it a point to keep them covered. He was always in their old football letterman jacket or any other thing that would keep them out of people's view. Darry could argue that he'd never even seen the male without a shirt on, as well, even if they didn't cover the scars themselves. So, when he'd idly kept his eyes on Paul as the male changed; he'd been completely startled (and admittedly, a little panicked) at the large, complicated marking practically branded into his boyfriend's back. The thing that bothered him the most, though, was that it looked too neat for Paul to have done it himself. "..How'd you get that scar on your back?" Darry didn’t know what response he’d expected. Maybe for Paul to wave him off, dismiss it as he always did whenever a sensitive question came up. Maybe this was something all witches had, something that proved their connection to it which needed to be hidden because he'd grown up on the side of the tracks that would've had him killed for it. What he wasn’t expecting was the hesitation, let alone the quiet answer he'd been given. “-I.. don’t know.”

- Darry, unfortunately, didn't get any answers the first time. Paul avoids the conversation real hard every time Darry asks, but this is the one thing Darry doesn't want to drop, just because it seems to freak Paul out so bad. - He only finds out what it is because he snoops a liiiiittle bit (Paul is VERY private with his witchcraft) and connects the dots himself. - The reason Paul's just as confused is because he avoids looking at the mirror or himself at all costs. When he looks for too long, he sees his parents staring back at him; and he hates it. Avoiding it flat-out means he doesn't have to ask himself why he hates it. - Darry recognizes it's magical. Hell, being a fae, he could probably sense any kind of magical connection to it if he tried hard enough.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ Can we hear more abt the ritual/When Paul got the markings?

Paul doesn't remember when he got the ritual carving on his back, at least, he doesn't at first. It seems that's part of the point when he goes digging through his books, looking for anything familiar to the markings on his skin. The answers he does get just leave him more confused; they're not supposed to pair together. All those runes, the apotropaic symbol- it's all stuff that directly aims to hinder his power, to hide it; and it certainly worked, because the last thing he can even recall about his curse before it surfaced once more was his mom's face, twisted in disgust and oh. Oh. It dawns on him fast; the memory floods his mind way too quickly while pieces connect. He'd always wondered why they owned a book about blood magic when witches didn't specialize in that; his mom didn't even seem to use it, she never used her powers much as it was. As he stares at the pages listing the meaning of all the symbols that adorn his back, he realizes two things. The first thing is that this wasn't in the books, this was made for one reason; originally made with malicious intent. The second thing is that he thinks he knows why the ritual knife he knows always looked so familiar. "This is for your own good." How cruel is it to find out your own mother willingly mutilated you in an attempt to restrain your power?

- Yeah, Paul's mom carved the marking into his back and used her own magic to put his own into remission. She had to make it herself, as no witch would want to take away their own power; hence it not being in the book. - The worst part for him is that he can't bring himself to hate her for it. If anything, it makes him hate his power worse. If his mom hated it enough to do this, then it has to be horrible. - This is how he realizes blood magic might be able to get rid of his power btw </3 - Remission is the only way to hide them without full removal, but the fact that he's always with the cursed now means it wouldn't work. Hence why the rumble awakened it again, because he was surrounded by them. - The ritual carving is part of why he can’t channel his power to its fullest potential, due to actively having the scar of something that was meant to restrain him. - It still holds its effects sometimes, there’s days when Paul’s absolutely incapable of using his powers bc the carving’s ritual was to prevent him from doing it in the first place, and so despite his magic showing back up, it’s still trying to clamp down on it. - As far as he knows, there's no way to reverse it. It's carved into skin, he'd have to be able to get rid of that scar. It'd weaken once his mom dies, though, but that's far in the future. - He likely takes the ritual knife to his own back to "ruin" the carving reading, but even that's not a guarantee to work.

Is there ever a time when Paul tries to get rid of his powers and what happens?? Does he succeed?? Does he fail?? Does he get caught??

- Paul, so far for what we've got written, has tried to get rid of his powers twice via blood rituals. - The first time was while he still lived at home, but the intent for it was a bit different. He wasn't trying to get rid of them permanently at the time, instead he was more focused on trying to mute them to a point where he could control them easier; as his magic is directly tied to his emotions during the early days and his parents grew increasingly pissed the more they showed themselves. - He was also very new to blood magic and the rituals involving it; if he'd started smaller it might've gone better, as a ton of witch rituals, spells, and even potion work require a blood sacrifice-- but this was the first thing he attempted. He went in completely blind, and it. Didn't work out, which is probably for the best. - He needed a LOT of blood for the ritual, hence why the scars on each arm are large and long; he was going to make sure it worked, even if he was being really stupidly careless with the approach-- and then his dad walked in before he finished the ritual. - A reoccurring theme you'll notice is that Paul's (blood heavy) rituals get interrupted before he finishes; they're very focus heavy and the slightest interruption can ruin it. He thinks he's just fucking up the ritual by doing something wrong or not offering enough of his blood. - Anyways, Mr. Holden, being an asshole, was more pissed off by the mess Paul was making; his mother mirrored that emotion, but her anger was because he failed the ritual. She doesn't care that he's actively bleeding out, she's upset that he couldn't successfully contain himself. - As seen in the doodles in here beneath the cut, Paul had to patch himself up; a trip to the hospital would require an explanation or Paul would be framed as suicidal, and god forbid their reputation be effected. He could've probably healed himself to make it easier to at least manage, but his father insisted he had to live with the consequences- and the scars. - Paul's fully forced to hide 'em as well, they're "disgusting" and "something he should be ashamed of"

- The second time, was after he moved into the Curtis home. - I've already made it very loud and clear that Paul carry's a lot of guilt, including generational due to the fact that his great-great-whatever-the-fuck-grandmother was the one who caused the curse. He's fine with his curse for a good bit after easing into the greasers, but watching how their treated makes that guilt grow worse. Sure, HE didn't make the curse, but he's related to the person who did. - A part of him thinks that, if the bloodline ends with him, it'll free the next generation as well. This is why he's so careless with blood rituals even when they're not in the attempt to get rid of his power. Either he successfully gets rid of the curse, or dies trying. In the long run, both options eliminate the bloodline. - (It's good to note this wouldn't work, by the way. The curse is set over Tulsa, and nothing would happen if the witch's bloodline ended. The guilt’s just convinced him that he’s directly apart of why it still exists; and his mom pushed that narrative as well.) - So, after finding out what his mom did to him and learning the fact that he can create his own blood magic spells; he looks into that for a more.. permanent solution to ridding himself of his magic. - Paul does not know the curse is tied to his life force. - He's long since had his own area for all his witchy shit at the Curtis house, since his witchcraft does usually require a bit of privacy (focus related, and he just feels weird being watched doing it) so it was merely a matter of shutting himself in. They're lucky he doesn't know a locking spell - The same thing repeats as it did the first time. - Darry's the one who walks in on him, because Johnny got death flashes about it. - In contrast to Mr. and Mrs. Holden, though, Darry nearly has a fucking aneurysm. He knows absolutely nothing about this blood magic stuff, meaning he's walking in on his boyfriend with his arms cut open, the air heavy with magic, and goddamn how the fuck is Paul not dead because that is so much fucking blood. He thinks it's some kind of self-harm thing (and it technically is, because there's much smarter ways for Paul to get his blood without almost killing himself.) - Paul tries to go "I can explain" but Darry's picking his ass up and dragging him inside - Darry's absolutely horrified, he's so fucking shaken and so is Paul; not because of what he's done, but because he hates that he's freaking out Darry like this. - It's a rough night for both of them.

- Timewing proposed the idea that Paul considers trying again, but he ends up looking at Darry and being soft after thinking abt what could happen just like "..I couldn't do that to him. I've hurt him enough." - Which is very silly we enjoyed it. - If Paul did succeed he would NOT have died immediately. He'd just progressively get weaker and weaker until, inevitably, he doesn't wake up.

Long ass paragraphs I apologize.

[masadd]

all my simon AUs [half are shower thoughts]

vampire simon multiverse world AU

• pretty self-explanatory!! simon is a vampire. it played out pretty similarly as our simon at first; he got the crown, betty left, mushroom bomb went off, and he met marceline.

• that's where things change. simon had to wear the crown to protect marcy, again. marcy panicked when simon wouldn't take it off and bit him without malicious intent, instead turning him into a vampire.

• since this technically killed simon, he broke out of the crown's grasp, now undead. marceline thought she killed him, panicked, and ran away. simon lived on his own ever since for like 1,000 years and kind of lost it being alone!!

HMS simon au

• this one is kind of like a crossover ?? with another one of my favorite things. it's based off chonny jash's characters, heart, mind, and soul. the whole plot of CCCC [chonny's charming chaos compendium] is that this guy's consciousness split into three [heart mind and soul], and they needed to reconcile.

• so . this goes basically the exact same as our simon. our simon, now like 1,059 [or however old he is], is in his little exhibit [same as the start of fionna and cake!!] he's chilling but keeps getting pressed closer to the edge each day.

• the main difference is that simon never actually ends up trying to make a portal to golbetty, and reaches his limit after like a series of unfortunate events.

• simon splits off into his own HMS. that's . essentially it . i dont wanna spoil much....

winter king worldswap AU

• i don't have it all planned out on how exactly it happened, but basically, winter king ends up in our ooo [aka just where our simon is from]. obviously this one is incredibly confusing for most residents of ooo, specifically marceline, finn, pb, and others .

• eventually, they figure out [pretty quickly] that this is NOT their simon . they try to ask where their simon is [who is out traveling with fionna and cake], but winter king has no clue !! he likely tries to pretend he does know though .

• ultimately . marceline ends up hating winter king

simon / F&C world interception AU

• is it obvious i don't have names for them

• ok so . basically, somehow simon ends up in the F&C modern au. which . technically should be impossible since it's inside his brain,,, but i have thought of a solution

• simon somehow [accidentally] projects his consciousness into the F&C world, leaving his real body just kinda There [probably unconscious]. think of it like that one adventure time episode where magic man makes jake go inside himself, and he explores his own little city and stuff . it's kind of like that!!

• his deal is similar to fionna and cake concerning his effects on their world . like for example how fionna touched winter king's crown and the magic went away, or when cake turned that one dude into a literal hotdog. basically, simon is doing the same on the F&C world, except he's doing the opposite!! he's magic-ifying it.

• shit starts to go down once people actually notice him. since he blends in so well, it takes a bit,,, just starts to get obvious once that one cookie turns alive or smth ����

• simon is eventually overcrowded by a ton of curious [and terrified] people, and runs off to just the first inconspicuous place he sees. this leads him to running into marshall lee, who's chillin with gary. simon, gary, and marshall lee kinda chill for a while !! marshall and gary probably talk abt how fionna's gone, which prompts simon to feel guilty and he reveals where he's actually from, and what happened to fionna.

• gary and marshall lee don't believe him at first, until simon turns something [idk what!!] into magic again. they then try to get to our ooo

• marshall lee and gary make it, but simon's still kinda trapped in his own consciousness . likely in the candy kingdom hospital with marceline bc he just passed out unexpectedly 😭

•Wooooo his fate is unknown [dont worry its a happy ending]

* i also won't be very surprised if these have been done before just know i do NOT mean to steal any ideas . if that happened it was purely unintentional cos i just made these up based on my minds silly desires

[cheemken]

Another thing about Drayton that I've latched onto is his line about how 'you don't want to see me ugly cry' when you battle him. It makes me wonder how he'd cry exactly.

I'm torn between two types. One is that he's the sort to get really quiet when he cries. Just suppressing it full force, shoulders shaking and tears just sliding down his face. In private too cause it's not cool to be caught like that, and maybe he'd grab a pillow or something to muffle sobs but after like 5-10 mins, it's like a switch flipped. He calms down, washes his face and proceeds with his day normally. Sidesteps any and all questions about why his eyes look red rimmed and puffy.

Another is that he is an ugly crier. Just full on sobbing, snot and tears going down his face. Trying to wipe away but it just keeps coming. Kinda lashing out at people who try to get close or comfort him. He hates feeling this way, hates having others see him like this but it's just too much to pretend that he's fine right now. When he's calmed down, just rough scrubs to his face and then quick exit, ignoring people calling out to him.

Now what would make him cry like that is the big question haha

Oh bet he represses everything, and I mean every single thing lmfaoo

But I also imagine him being a mix of both in a way, like, he doesn't show it to anyone else ofc, he would never ever cry in public, that's so uncool in his words, but once he's alone it just,, it's a gradual thing, it builds up y'know, it's like the feeling of anxiety, where your chest feels tight and your throat feels dry and you can feel every nerve in your body almost pulsing just beneath your skin, and suddenly every little problem starts to pile up on him, until it reaches its peak and he just,,, tears up, tries to stop them, trying so hard, so hard he's trying so hard why can't they see that I'm trying and until he starts to really ugly cry, like, his chest hurts y'know, broken sobs echo within the room as he tries so hard to calm himself down, until his pokemon come out to try and calm him, until he lashes out on them, until he falls to his knees, falls to the floor, his Dragonite nuzzling close to him, hoping it's enough comfort without really hugging him, without having to risk him panicking again from being held too tight

And they wait for him y'know, wait till he's the one reaching out for them, wait till he's the one clinging to his pokemon, holding them tight, closer, impossibly closer, at least they won't leave him

Ofc, his process is still slow, after his tears were shed, he'd just,,, sit there or lie down and look up at the ceiling, letting the last remnants of his tears to fall before he takes a deep breath, let's it out, and sits upright again, chuckling to himself, saying shit like "well, that was something, huh?" And after he makes sure he looks presentable, he goes on his day as if he didn't just cry for almost thirty minutes

Low-key tho but other than being compared to his fam, I think his academic record would kinda haunt him, cause like yeah, he knows he's a strong trainer, he has no doubts with that, but he knows he's struggling w class and while he's so chill abt it, repeating his school year kinda messed with him a bit. Maybe that, and maybe the whispers abt him too ofc, how he knows other people doubt if he really wants to be a Dragon Master like Drayden and Iris, he is from a family of Dragon Masters, so why isn't he making more of an effort to become one? Idk but yeah hahaha

[sugar-omi]

(The inner mermaid loving child in me heard Our Life mermaids and RAN-) Okay but on the topic of mermaid AU's for OLBA hear me out, Mermaid AU where either the MC or Cove is a mermaid that through some sort of means can shift back and forth from a human form and a mer form, but they keep it a secret

If Cove is the mermaid I imagine it's kind of a "mysterious stranger" situation. Where as a kid the MC is playing alone on the beach when they find some boy (Cove) that they've never seen before just sitting on the beach and staring at the ocean. They go over to him to say hi and while Cove seems really jumpy and wary when they first speak to him he does calm down a bit after meeting the MC and they become fast friends. From that point on Cove just kind of becomes the strange kid that appears on the beach every now and again when no one else is around, and also MC's new playmate (though Cove's really insistent on the MC's family never knowing about him.. wonder why?). Skip to when they're both 18 and the MC is walking along the beach earlier than they usually would and come across either a tide pool or a cove (like the place, not the person haha-) and see a real life mermaid inside! It just seems to be laying on their stomach and hanging out but oh my god its a real mermaid!! MC thought they were fake but theres one right in front of them!!! Man the stories were right about mermaids being irresistable cause dang this one is really pretty.. look at those back muscles- oh the mermaid noticed them! Wait a sec.. IS THAT COVE????? Cue panicked screaming followed by a panicked explanation from Cove

If the MC is the mermaid I kind of got inspired by this one webcomic I read which I forgot the name of but basically the MC is just staying on land which their moms and Lizzie (who may or may not also be mermaids idk) because for some reason they can't stay in the water with their actual parents, and it's basically the same start as the canon game where the new neighbours move in and it's Cliff and Cove and him and the MC become friends, just now that whenever Cove suggests going in the water whenever they hang out MC kinda freezes and nervously declines, Cove is a little bummed he cant play with his favourite person in his favourite part of the world but he assumes they're just scared of swimming or the ocean and respects that. Then when they're both 18 Cove finds out MC is a mermaid similarly to the last scenario where he's walking along the beach late at in the afternoon when no one else is there when he sees the MC lounging in a tide pool and excitedly calls out to them and runs over, then when he reaches them Cove sees the MC freeze and try to stutter out something which confuses him until he actually processes everything he's seeing and oh my god his best friend and crush of 10 years has been a mermaid this entire time Cove thinks he's gonna faint-

I rambled a lot here my goodness the mermaids got me thinkin-

omg asking cove "so.. are you gonna lure me into the sea?" and when cove is all confused you remind him. "you were worried abt a pretty merperson taking me away, so are you?"

he's so flustered...

[spinningbagel]

Been awhile since I've allowed myself to rant and ramble about Homeless, so this post is just me rambling about little bits and pieces surrounding my silly guy (and some other thingds)

Okay zo, first,, Sheriff, since he's not really doing much to prevent his mutation he kinda like, picks up on the mutants language (to a normal person, it sounds like they're growling at eachother) also mutants are much, much calmer around him. Since they're idiots and their only real thought about him is quite literally: "Why iz this mutant so small?" To them, he's an anomaly but he's part of the pack now so yeah. Sometimes he talks with the mutants but not often because for the most part, he leaves them alone and in turn, they do the same. (And if the mutants get attached and protective over him, thats no ones business)

(Kinda an elaboration)

Basically, since Sheriff is I wanna say around 1/6 mutated, and also he smells like a wet sock mutants are pretty passive around him, since, I like to think most mutants use scent to kinda identify eachother (if that makes sense??) and like I said, his entire arm is mutated so y'know?? Also while yes, he does still smell human but he does also smell like a wet sock. He needs a shower. Desperately. 

Sheriff also (slowly) gains some more mutant-like features. Theres the ones that aren't visible like hightened senses and increased strength and stanima theres also visible changes such as fangs and glow in the dark eyes (idk I like to think some mutants have glowy eyes) also he's jus a lil more mentally unstable and prone to being vry aggresive at times (luckily no one's around. Only one who gets hurt iz him)

Shooter, on multiple occasions has gone out to the city to find Sheriff. Sheriff is very aware of this fact and activly avoids him. He doesn't blame Shooter at all, he's just,,, not ready to interact with people. (Also he's lost the ability to properly function around people. Being alone where your only interaction with a living being is mutants for so long does that to someone.)

Dr. White is aware of the fact sometimes Sheriff breaks in and steals vegetables (mainly carrots) he never tells anyone, why should he? It's not like Sheriff is doing anything bad, just a guy trying to not to turn into a mutant. The Dr makes sure to check the cameras every morning before anyones awake and wipes any kind of evidence that Sheriff had been there. Helpin out the guy you've started to see as a son y'know?

Oh yeah also, Sheriff manages to gain the title as the city's cryptid. Far too many cases of people who've travelled to the other side (for whatever reason) and seeing a figure of something (Sheriff) either on the roofs or in an alleyway. Someone would see him, look away and look back only to find him gone and anyone who tries to find him is always chased off by a mutant hoard. Makes it worse when it's night and his eyes are fucking glowing. So yeah. City cryptid. (La résistance try and fail at catching him or somethin alfter hearing abt this 'Cryptid' and the whole time Sheriff is just- fucking panicking real bad.)

Thats all I really have for now, may make a continuation post if I think of anything else to share with you guys.

As always though, stay safe and eat bread!

[kuiinncedes]

me going from being bored in my house all day to bored in my apartment by myself all day wow 😍

[hurricaneonanesthesia]

May I request Golden Deer x fem!reader headcanons where her upbringing didn't lend itself to her learning feminine hygiene like shaving or knowing how to braid her hair which makes her insecure and the house notices she never wears short clothes even in sweltering heat? Maybe with Claude x reader undertones?

Of course anon! I’d be more than happy to try my best. I certainly hope that I did them justice! Hopefully they aren’t out of character lol. to be completely honest, i feel like i rushed this towards the end lmao

~Admin Hurricane

Claude von Deer

He didn’t understand it, but you intrigued him

You weren’t like Marianne or Hilda, in fact you were far from it

It surprised him nonetheless when you were wearing long sleeves in sweltering weather

He’d asked you countless times why you weren’t wearing something lighter, but you would always shake your head and continue on with training.

It certainly worried him, when you suddenly fainted one day

He insisted that he be the one to carry you back to the infirmary.

Byleth had to force him to go back to class cause all his pacing outside of the infirmary was giving Manuela a headache.

When you finally woke up, he immediately booked it from the GD classroom and was the first one in

That was when you broke down and told him everything

He listened to every word you had to say, not breaking eye contact once please i love him he’s hubby material why isn’t he real sOB

When you finished he was silent before consoling you and pulling into a hug

He told you that it didn’t matter what your body looks like and that all that mattered was your personality and you as person

That caused you to break down more which made him PANIC lmao

Offered to teach you how to braid hair 

Whenever you guys are training or are in battle, he keeps an eye on you to ensure that you don’t faint again cause of heatstroke 

Advises you to drink plenty of water, STAY HYDRATED!

Ohoho Byleth the matchmaker caught on, and immediately paired the two of you together 

Whenever you’re feeling down cause you don’t seem “feminine enough” or are “too masculine” Claude immediately waves off those bad thoughts

Also to add onto you feeling down, if you were really out of it, he would drag you onto his wyvern and take you out for a ride :))))

Hilda

Hilda squealed when she first saw you, immediately dragging you into her room. 

She tried sprucing you up, but you didn’t really get it as she eagerly showed you different outfits and makeup

She got kinda upset when you stared out the window instead bored out of your mind

Tried to get your attention by waving her hands dramatically in front of you

She was pretty surprised when you opened up to her about why you weren’t interested

From then on Hilda decided to give you some tips on how to do your hair and such

She also gave you advice on clothes to wear, if you were still insecure. Something that won’t cause you to overheat, but is light and long enough to cover up your arms and legs.

Overall she was pretty open as soon as she learned about your circumstances and very willing to help.

Lorenz 

Off topic but Lorenz please change your goddamn pre time skip hairstyle

To be frank, the two of you didn’t get along that well

Why do I say that? Well you didn’t like his womanizing attitude towards other girls and felt that he was too stuck up for his own good

He thought you were too masculine and brutish for your own good and tried educating you which annoyed you to no ends.

Finally one day, when you couldn’t take his pestering anymore you just snapped

He stood there in shock, completely unsure of what to say

From then on he was more aware of what he said to you cause he was worried that what he would say would wound your pride again

Keeps an eye on you because he’s “such a gentleman” hey, his words not mine.

Raphael

Sorry bby, I love you Raph, but he’s a little bit dense 

Doesn’t notice your discomfort at first

Takes you awhile to open up but once you get to know him, he’s more than willing to listen

Being a big bro, he does his best to comfort you and encourage you saying that it doesn’t matter how you act he’s still rooting for you 🥺 BAHA PLEASE I LOVE THIS BIG TEDDY BEAR

Encourages you to wear whatever you like and be proud of yourself 

10/10 wholesome relationship

Bonus: if you still don’t know how to braid your hair, he’ll help do it for you cause he’s had plenty of practice with his younger sis 

Ignatz 

I’d like to think that he’s pretty sensitive and noticed right away

He asked you about why you were constantly wearing long sleeves

At first you weren’t that willing to open up, opting to change the subject and move on

However, as you came to know him more and discovered that his intentions were indeed genuine, you decided to tell him

He was rather surprised at first because he saw nothing wrong with you 

He told you to just continue being yourself and that everyone has flaws

You broke down crying and poor iggy panicked

You eventually stopped crying and thanked him

Since you shared your insecurities with him, he shared his secret hobby and love for painting and you encouraged him to pursue his artistic dreams rather than becoming a knight

Lysithea

She has many secrets herself but she isn’t very sensitive to how others are if you’ve seen her support with Marianne I think you know at first

Once you spend more time with her she notices how you avoid talking much about yourself and your upbringing

Not wanting to pry, she left you alone

Once you got to know her better, you slowly opened up about how you felt and your insecurities

And to your surprise, she listened

She kinda just sat off on the side patting your side unsure of what to say

Since you opened up to her, once you got to know her better, she found that she could trust you and told you abt her secret obviously i'm not gonna say it cause spoilers :)

Marianne

You’re insecure? She’s insecure? HOORAY YOU’RE NOW FRIENDS

Whenever the two of you hang out it’s literally just:

“....”

“.....”

“Um…”

Yeah...it's a little hard to strike up a conversation with Marianne at first

She was fairly curious about why you constantly wore long sleeves tho

"Um...y/n not to be rude, but why do you wear long sleeves? Aren't you hot, i-im sorry if I've overstepped, don't mind me…" 

But the two of you had grown close so naturally also being insecure you told her about your worries

Marianne didn't rlly know what to tell you at first and went all "oH iM soRRy you sHoULdNt bE taLkiNg tO mE bEcaUsE i bRiNg bAd LuCk"

Leonie

In a sense Leonie could relate to you

She told you to mmmm block out the haters and just be yourself

You gained a confidence boost from her cause she was encouraging and told you to just stay true to yourself.

She truly helped you get your walls down and let you know that its okay

Want more of my writing? Be sure to check out my masterlist :)

If you wanna request something, don’t be afraid to send something my way! Thanks for reading and have a lovely day!

[lovely-v]

LOTR (films) Review

So I finally watched the LOTR films (20 years later). I’m super excited to review these because I read the books very recently so I feel at least a little prepared to voice some opinions. Overall I loved the films, here’s a very long (but by no means exhaustive) compilation of my thoughts, which are of course, totally subjective:

(Warning: a lot of me saying “well, actually, in the book...”)

THINGS I LIKED

- Casting! not much to say here, I thought the casting was great. One of my favorite actors that I didn’t think i’d have a huge opinion on was David Wenham as Faramir. I was kinda ambivalent on him when I saw pictures but i thought he did a great job. he showed his quality.

- Music. so much has been said about the films on the music front. I can’t offer too much original insight but when a bit of the Shire theme started to play as Frodo tries to make his way up Mount Doom I cried a little.

- Boromir and Aragorn. I liked the scene where they interact a little in Rivendell. I also like how Aragorn saves Boromir in the Moria battle and gives him this little nod of friendship. I think the films did a great job portraying the dynamic they have where Aragorn is clearly suspicious of Boromir’s motivations but grows to respect him to the point where he doesn’t even blame Boromir for being corrupted by the ring because he understands that, at heart, Boromir is a good person. 

- Sam and Frodo in Osgiliath. I expected to be kind of annoyed with the way this plot point played out (I knew ahead of time that it strayed from the book), but I actually liked it a lot. As I’ll say later, there’s some gripes I have with the way the films extremely play up the disagreements between Frodo and Sam, but I loved the scene where Frodo pulls the sword on Sam and then seems so defeated when he realizes what he’s done. I was pleasantly surprised by how emotional this scene made me. It’s admittedly A Lot, but it was done nicely, especially in conjunction with Sam’s “there’s good in this world” speech.

- Treatment of the ending. I almost think I should dislike the ending as it is in the movies, but my heart is soft and I like that they sugarcoated it a bit. I know the whole point of the Scouring of the Shire and Frodo’s depression conveys a lot about war and trauma and I think that is important, but after watching these things for twelve hours I just wanted Frodo & co. to be happy and I was kinda relieved that they cut the Scouring. Does that make me weak and perhaps bad at film analysis? yes. do I care? no. I was also very glad that the movies didn’t portray how depressed Sam was about losing Frodo in the end. Yes, he cries, but when he walks home to his family he seems happy and in the books that scene came off so much bleaker. I definitely liked the lighter tone.

THINGS I WAS NEUTRAL ON/DIDN’T LIKE

- Arwen. (Neutral) I don’t hate her, I don’t love her. I think the story she and Aragorn have is compelling and I 100% get why the filmmakers decided to add it to give her character more depth, but it felt misplaced at times. maybe it’s just because it was the only storyline I didn’t know in depth, but the scenes with the Arwen/Aragorn flashbacks felt a bit confusing and disorienting. Don’t have anything against Arwen as a character though, I think she’s pretty alright.

- Gimli. (Complicated thoughts) I want to start off by saying I don’t dislike Gimli. I like him a lot! I just think the movies did him a bit dirty. He had some good movie-exclusive moments, but I think his character really fell into this place of being the butt of too many jokes. Would have liked to see some more serious Gimli development, especially with his relationship to Legolas. Their friendship felt too much like subtext here, whereas it’s explored far more in the books.

- Two Towers Pacing. (Didn’t really like). The pacing of TTT was...weird. maybe I’m going into this with a closed mind because of the books, but it was odd to have the movie begin with Frodo and Sam and then have them only appear for a few rapid scenes after that. I think the fact that a WHOLE LOT of what happens to Frodo and Sam in TTT is moved to RotK is what makes it feel that way? In the books, Two Towers ends with Sam discovering that Frodo isn’t dead from Shelob’s sting, and I was surprised by how long it took the movies to get to that part. However, I will give the films a little leeway because I think they needed Frodo & Sam content for RotK, since most of what happens in that book is them walking through Mordor basically starving and dying. Doesn’t make for great cinema I guess, so they had to put the whole Shelob/Cirith Ungol saga into the final film. Still, I think there’s a weird lack of Frodo and Sam’s presence in TTT.

- The go home/missing bread arc. (Full of rage abt this one) yeah. so. my criticism of this is gonna sound pretty tired because people complain and complain about this part of RotK. but I’m gonna complain some more!! I don’t think the split between Frodo and Sam does anything for the plot. I really don’t. I guess it emphasizes the fact that Sam doesn’t understand how much Frodo is projecting onto Gollum, but it’s just. unnecessary angst? They had enough angst in the Osgiliath scene! Which I actually liked! And it simply doesn’t make a lot of sense for Frodo to suspect Sam of eating the bread when Sam had already offered Frodo his own food and made it clear that he would very much starve if it meant making sure Frodo could eat. But what I hate most about this scene is not that Frodo gets mad and tells Sam to go home. No. It’s that Sam actually... thinks about doing that? he actually? goes down the staircase? emotionally this is bad because Sam clearly cared enough about Frodo to follow him this far, to nearly drown for him, so why would he leave now. Practically this is bad because 1. how would Sam get out of Mordor alone and 2. where would he go. He turns around almost immediately, yes, but what was his plan. where was he going. why.

THINGS I LOVED

- For Frodo! This line, and every other shoutout to Frodo. In the books, they didn’t really actively talk about/worry about Frodo (and Sam) as much as they do in the movies. I like that they talk about Frodo more in the movies! I like that they’re thinking about him! I know it was implied that they were in the books, but I really like how it’s shown here. I think it gave a more complete picture of how much they all care about him on a personal level in addition to just needing him to succeed from a pragmatic standpoint. 

- Merry and Pippin! I feel like Merry and Pippin were so well rounded in the films. I’ve heard criticism about them being turned into comic relief characters (which they always were a little bit) but it honestly didn’t feel that way to me. They had a bit of a rough start because the films didn’t make their motives for going with Frodo as deep as the books did, but I think that by TTT they were absolutely amazing characters in every scene. In RotK their respective arcs hit really well and the scene where Pippin is singing to Denethor? *chef’s kiss* poetic. beautiful. sad. idk man I just feel like I have such a newfound appreciation for Merry and Pippin.

- Parallels! people have pointed out the parallel of Frodo and Sam’s hands before (drowning scene/mount doom scene) and I love how the movie did that. Just stunning. Also! The moving of the Smeagol & Deagol scene to RotK surprised me because in the books it was like,,,at the beginning of Fellowship, but I think the placement of it in the movies really helped emphasize the similarities between Smeagol & Deagol and Frodo & Sam (and how much Frodo fears this similarity.) There were a lot of other well done parallels between storylines and a few bits of dialogue that were repeated with great timing, but I can’t remember all of them at the moment.  

Edit: here’s one I remembered! when Frodo wakes up after being rescued and sees Gandalf, he says Gandalf’s name in a very similar tone to the one he used at the very beginning of Fellowship. It was a nice little subtle connection.

- I can’t carry it for you...alright this is self-indulgent. everyone knows I love this line. I’m just so glad it made it into the movie intact. Sean Astin’s delivery was amazing. I cheered. My mom cheered. It’s a raw line and it makes me feel secret emotions...like if shrimp colors were feelings. that line makes me feel shrimp feelings. idk i’m so tired i just watched twelve hours of movies this review is decreasing in quality by the minute but i’m about done for now anyway

Various silly afterthoughts

- I would have liked to see Sam kiss Frodo’s hands at least once. This happens 50 thousand times in the books, they could have given me one scene. one little extended edition scene. Please Peter Jackson I’m dyin’ out here

- They literally made Gollum so hateable. kinda the point yes, but I was so on board with Sam’s murderous rage. I know why Gollum’s a profoundly complex character, I know why Frodo pities him, I know why murder is bad, but I too would throw hands with that creature. also he literally body shamed Sam so much what was that skdjksdjksd. Sam is lovely. let him commit a small homicide. 

- the scene where merry and pippin drink the tall boy juice (as someone once referred to it in the tags of one of my posts)... not accurate to the books (since they don’t ever drink it with the end goal of getting tall) but so accurate to life. if I found some water that made me taller than my friends? let me at it

- Frodo panicking when he falls into the spider webs. so real bestie. i felt just as panicked watching that. i am terrified of spiders and Elijah Wood did an amazing job doing exactly what i’d do in the situation. yelping a lot and falling down.

- I feel like it’s never stated that Sam’s a gardener (or at least that he’s specifically Frodo’s gardener) until he tells Faramir he is. Did I miss this. Or do they really never say.  are you just meant to know. are you just meant to pick up gardener vibes from him.

*

This has been a very chaotic lotr movie review. Thanks for reading.

[hajimeow-archived]

Yo Hajime talk abt ur kin mems

since there were no specifications on which ones i am going to start from the beginning and go where my brain takes me from there. they're all gonna be for hajime bc i physically cannot think about my other memories anymore jsyk

also! this ended up being so long i had to put a cut. i will not be apologizing because i feel no remorse.

so first the basic stuff, i remember having a med skin tone and a FUCK ton of freckles like those motherfuckers were everywhere i had skin. also i was 5'7 i think?? or 5'6. i still can't remember exactly but it's something like that. i was also alloaro, some form of mlm, unfortunately cis, and autistic and probably had some other stuff like adhd or depression or whatever but i forgot. also i was kinda muscle-y but also chubby at the same time. and i had light green eyes. basically i was fanon hajime JSJSKDJDKS

and i was going over the wiki recently and my personality was EXACTLY how they described it like i'm genuinely surprised they got it so accurate

i don't remember much pre-game and post game, most of my memories are in game but i do remember pre game chiaki really well, honestly i rly miss her :( she would always reassure me that i didn't need a talent and i never even cared when she beat me in games cus just simply playing them with her was so fun .,.,,;:,,...,,!:&:&:jsjdjskskck</3

anyways. in game. ok. i'm gonna skip over memories where i just know feelings and not specific things like strong feelings or ppl saying stuff or else this would be so long. also obvious sdr2 spoilers

so i remember the party & blackout in the beginning of the game pretty clearly. i was mostly just standing alone in the corner and watching everyone have fun, but it was really freeing to see the others able to enjoy themselves in such pressing circumstances. then the blackout-- it was kinda like all that happiness going away and the dread and denial immediately setting in .

anyways i remember like panicking and wanting to cry when i lifted the table cloth cus i really liked twogami. i'm p sure i did end up crying cus i really liked them for their realism and leadership skills, and the realization that one of us killed them and that the killing game was actually real etc etc

anyway i don't remember much from the investigation or trial besides being really freaked out when nagito basically admitted to being the killer n stuff, and pretty much all the body discoveries after that (besides ch 5) we're just like "ah shit here we go again" but i do remember mikans trial really freaking me out when she just straight up shifted completely, and i also remember being really proud of fuyuhiko for putting his walls down a bit and deciding to help everyone out while the despair disease was going around

anyway enough of the boring stuff, i spent basically all my free time with komaeda, chiaki and mikan (in order of frequency) and with mikan i mostly listened to her talk about medical stuff and i comforted her when she needed to vent, but i didn't hang out with her much because the constant apologizing n stuff started to bother me since i really liked seeing her happy. chiaki i would mostly play games with and we wouldn't talk much, but she gave me a really strong sense of familiarity like when we played games together it gave me a shit ton of deja vu

AND i've already talked a lot about komaeda but idc i'm doing it again. so we started talking cus of him waking me up on the beach obvs and i was pretty attached right off the bat, but i stopped talking to him for awhile because the way he acted in the first trial REALLY scared me so i just got a pit in my stomach even being around him

but he was the one who started approaching me first, i'm guessing since he couldn't rly sense anything was wrong he just kinda picked things up where they left off and started talking w me at breakfast n stuff and it was pretty weird at first, but i wanted to give him a chance and didn't wanna be rude so i accepted offers to hang out in his cottage n stuff

i remember he has surgery scars tho and i'm rly mad ppl don't draw him with any!! i think he had about 5 and i don't remember all of them but i know one was a skin graft on his leg and the one on his side/stomach that i touched wassssss for appendix removal maybe???? mmmm i'm not too sure about that one tho

also !!!! his death. hoooooly shit. ok so yunno the despair that junko always talks about ?????? yeah <3!! i remember like once i saw his body and took the reality in i just. straight up could NOT stand i like fell to my knees and jsut . cried. like i had no thoughts my head was so full that it was empty i just kinda sat there and silent cried while chiaki stood next to me it was so awful dude

later while investigating n stuff i felt really bad ab how i treated him and thought about him, and i thought a lot about our last interaction. it was the first time i had ever approached him myself cus usually he'd come to me. i was gonna hang out with chiaki but i wanted to check up on him first, so i did and he told me to go hang out with the others and i just. knew something terrible was about to happen.

OH AND THE FUNHOUSE OMG ok i literally. i usually didn't mind being around komaeda like he was chill most of the time when he wasn't ranting about hope but when he was acting like such a bitch in the funhouse i wanted to punch his stupid twink ass so bad like...... what BUSINESS does this dude have being such an asshole. he doesn't even know what face wash is. what the fuck. which is another fun fact! komaeda did shower every so often which is why he didn't smell that bad but his skin was always so dry cus he didn't know how to actually wash right and do proper skincare so he just washed his face w soap and left it like that

also he didn't need to cut his nails cus they were so brittle they would just break off on their own <3 plus he had a nail biting habit so they just never grew ever

OH AND THIS IS THE SADDEST THING i remember feeling so bad for this man bc i would like put my hand on his shoulder and he would lean into it. i mean i'd tap his shoulder for a SECOND and girl when i let go hed be lowkey so sad i could just sense it like??????dude he needed a hug SSO BAD like when i hugged him in my cuddling memory he was like holding on for dear life but also was like "u dOnT hAvE tO tOuCh TrAsH LiKe mE hAjImE" like dude it was the saddest shit. i want to hug him forever. like what the fuck what the fuck!!!!!!!!!

also a thing hed do when he started ranting ab hope n shit like he would just go on and on and yunno that one sprite where he's hugging himself yeah he literally did that shit. also sometimes hed just stare dead at me and start backing me into a corner ((ish-- we were usually sitting somewhere but he mostly just got super close to me) and it was the scariest shit i. bro if i saw him like that on the streets i'd return him to the mental hospital like i can remember it somewhat vividly and that shit was TERRIFYING i mean obvs after i shoved him away and told him to cool it he'd apologize and go back to the way he was but jeez dude ....

also a little fun fact the only reason i really kept hanging out with him (i had a few ofc but this was the most prominent) is cus he was hot in my stupid monkey brain. yes that's it. like that's literally pretty much it. i hate admitting it but this post is SO fucking long i doubt anyone's gonna read it anyway so i'm admitting it now lol

anyway i hope u enjoyed :) i'm glad u asked btw! i'm sure you regret it though!

[renaer-is-allegedly-hot]

session 13

wow i’m really out of it tonight lmao uh some highlights bc these r rlly atrocious:

adam shit himself and vomited over the dwarf in our basement

fought some ppl n killed; gotta hide six bodies

pregame !

Jacob n dom r talking abt other dnd campaigns

Jacob rigged explosives somewhere

They need souls to open coffins or smth

I REALIZED MY MIC IS MUTED SO THEY CAN’T HEAR ME SING THE GOLDEN GIRLS THEME SONG THE WAY MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER DOES HAHAHAHHAHA

Thank you for being a friend

Bum bum bum bum

Travel round the world and back again

If the truth be told you’re a friend and a confidant

Etc

Jacob explaining his eye scratch

I’m just sitting here singing the golden girls theme song

Tunnel vision in smash

I’m just renegading while they talk smash

Jacob wants to home alone our house the next night we have

Immovable rod is abt 3ft long

Last time on dnd asyna heard a window break

Roll initiative

Aerana and theo roll 22

Asyna rolls 21

Adam 13

Cel 6

Asyna was waking everyone up

Halfling size ballista ? In our turret ? Maybe

Ooh trebuchet is an interesting sans font

Aerana is going first

Double dash downstairs

You hear stuff on the first floor making noise; you and theo get to the second floor about to go downstairs

Theo in master bedroom double dashes towards where I am

Asyna

In watchtower, asyna's gonna try and do stuff from above ? Maybe .

Proposes turning into a hummingbird

Spike growth ? Grows spikes

Also creates rough terrain

In front of the door

Oop they're speaking goblin

Goblins

2d4 damage for each 5 ft they move

Some of them were able to get inside the house but still slowed down

Adam

Will cast cantrip

Thaumaturgy to boom voice 3x louder than normal "WHO DARES ENTER MY HOUSE PLEASE LEAVE WITHIN THE NEXT TEN SECONDS AND YOU WILL BE SPARED ,,, PLEASE"

Intimidation check

Lmao a 7

Entire house booms; everyone heard it but like effect?

Adam sleeps naked

Cel

Right in front of door to hall on second floor

Aerana

2 squares away from action at back of house

Theo

Also goes for pantry, same place generally as aerana

Asyna

Starts downstairs

Gonna turn into ape and try and make way down side of building as ape

Down p much by next turn

Goblins

Apparently being eaten up by spikes

Should I make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich I'm kinda craving

O shoot I gotta run soon for medicine

Adam

Dashing

This is just slow running in a dream

Cel

Base of stairs ?

Also heading towards pantry

Aerana

Bust in

Momentarily frozen

To the right next to basement hatch r two hulking figures covered in thick dark fur; kinda pointy ears, look kind of like goblins and v tall like easily 7ft

Big mauls

Bugbears

Can I fight?

23 to hit, 7 damage to closest one

The goblins trying to move the thing but not working well

Theo

I'M GONNA RUN TO GRAB MY MEDS

Slashes at the one aerana didn't hit lmao I rlly just did that I'm breathing

15 barely misses

Goblin blocks lillian's strike

Asyna

Srsly should I make a sandwich

On first floor outside

Bro my headache went to the other side of my head wtf

Gonna go through a window

Follows them in and attacks a bunch of them

Bro I kinda rlly want a sandwich

17 and 18 to hit, 6 and 4 damage ?? 10 damage ?? 10 damage for both ??

KILLS BOTH OF THEM N I C E

Bashes their heads together

I'm making a sandwich

"it's a very forceful kiss"

Third one readies self

Lashes out at asyna, misses

Goblins

R also gonna try and attack aerana and theo

12 damage to theo

I'm eating my sandwich

One of the middle ones is gonna go for asyna, hits, 5 damage

That was a good sandwich might get another one

Adam

Bro I kinda want another sandwich

Gets downstairs w max speed and peeks in, sees aerana and theo and two dead guys by window and two more living fighting an ape

Looks at theo

Bro again I kinda want another sandwich

Makes the one that hit theo make a wisdom saving throw

Did not make it, hideous laughter

Mans can't stop laughing, has to make wisdom saving throw each turn ig

Adam has to tell a joke

Comes down and looks at bugbear, locks eyes

Our party walks into a bar . But most of us walk under it

What

Is this a short joke ?

I don't get it yikes

Panicked dom laughing

Tells us to not hit the guy laughing; save him for last

Bonus action uses cutting words on the one aerana is fighting; "fuck you"

Cel

I still kinda want another sandwich

To clarify my sandwich was like half

I think yesterday or smth I like hit my foot lol and I did the thing where I compose myself rlly quickly to ignore the pain and up my pain tolerance and it left a mark but like it literally doesn't hurt so not saying I'm upping my pain tolerance but one day if I ever got like idk shot or smth I'm not gonna have a reaction

Cel hits the one that's doing better w a spell and then does shortbow 25 to hit, 12 damage

"how do you want to do this?"

Takes an arrow right through his brainstem and the arrowhead goes out his mouth

Aerana

Wasted insightful fighting, didn't hit

Scream of frustration that I missed

Theo

Takes bow and tries to hit, 13 misses

Asyna

Do I rlly still want another sandwich

Hm

Hits on one roll, 7 damage

Guy is barely alive

Goblins

One that tries to attack aerana misses, guy on ground is now up, guy attacking asyna hits, 11 damage

Adam

Cutting words on guy that just got up "oh you're finally awake"

"ever heard of the one where the guy got back up"

Goblin rolls nat20

Cel

22 to hit, 9 damage

Stabs him, hurts

Aerana

13

"next time remember it"

If an ally is within 5 ft of you you get sneak attack

If u have advantage

Don't need advantage if another enemy of the target is within 5 ft of it

Start over

When rogues have advantage, get to add sneak attack

Can add sneak attack when u don't have advantage if

One of allies is within 5 ft of you

And if u don't have disadvantage

Theo

Gonna try for the bow again

Going for the one asyna's fighting

8 damage

Guy is on last legs

Asyna

Kills

Fun fact apes have been known to rip off the faces of their enemies

Rips face off then gently puts him down

Still two goblins left

Goblins

Try and run

Attacks of opportunity from celandine, theo and aerana

Nat20 from cel

Theo and aerana miss

I've missed like every hit what is this

14 damage from cel

They're still able to get away

Asyna makes attack of opportunity

I still kinda want another saaaandwich

Neither hit

Adam

33 across board for both for sleep; both fall over and hit ground, asleep

Adam goes outside and looks if anyone is watching outside their window

Looks like one of our neighbors is at their window out of the apothecary

Uses infernal legacy to cast darkness, blocking their darkvision

Puts it between fallah's house and bodies

Then drag the bodies

Adam is kinda sweaty n exerted

Aerana is watching ot, asyna takes one body cel adam and theo take the other

Theo is rolling damage

Cel binds their feet first and adam prepares sleep

Theo rolls 13 damage and one dies, other 15 and also dies

Why is my eye glitching lmao

Maybe I still want a sandwich

What time do I need to be up tomorrow wait

Idk lmao

We've brought our bodies in, the night is ours

It's 10ish at night

Adam's gonna sleep in jeans

Adam was not naked in combat ?

Or maybe he was

Adam doesn't wear pajamas so he had pants

Sleeping downstairs shifts for the night

Adam takes first shift

Adam is sweating a lot, feeling a little odd; feels super weak and cold and feels a little sick like he might throw up

Constitution saving throw

"can I feel this coming and give myself bardic inspiration?"

"uh . Sure"

"hold it in hold it in hold it in"

Check to see if he can make it to the bathroom

"boi that's just nasty" adam wakes up someone ? Adam

Adam wakes theo up

"you must be real glad I'm wearing pants right now"

Rolls nat1

Adam vomits onto theo ? Vomits into theo's cloak

Adam becomes violently ill

The key eventually comes out the butt

A 4

Able to makes way down hatch towards bucket by ot

Vomits on ot

"ot is, like, weeping"

Adam is weakened

So adam shit and hurled

Adam stomps it down the drain ?

Next morning

Adam comes down with the key

Adam's exhaustion is cured after long rest

We're not talking to adam today

Adam sets key on table "did you wash that first" theo / adam slowly takes key back

Adam casts sleep on ot to kind of relieve him

Cel goes to jones, one of the goblins informs cel that jones is out ,,, just out

Cel can't find jones

Home alone-ing the house now ?

Aerana

House was in state of disrepair before

Spike spell tore up front of house, lots of windows knocked out from fireball explosion and were damaged during fight

Bad to a little bit worse

Theo 20 for investigation

Random ropes and bricks, nails, wooden planks

Intelligence check w advantage

19, sets up a few different traps; two swinging brick traps when a door is opened + simple nails stuck into plank so would hurt if someone stepped on it

Asyna 9 for investigation

Cel sees jones putting a bunch of keys into the lock

Jones can't find the key to open his door

Jones is maybe gonna get some stooges to remove the bodies

10 dragons

Henrietta is gonna dump em

Astigmatism lmao

Back at the manor

Adam is done cleaning

Ot asked if he could be set free, adam says "this is my fault, I got it buddy"

Adam is going to the apothecary down the street

Walks up to counter, fallah is there

"heyo what's poppin fallah"

Takes out potion of necrotic resistance

Adam says he bought it at sea ward, roll for deception; 12

Why am I sO LETHARGIC ALL THE TIME !!!

Offers adam 50 gold

Pushes for 60, 10 for persuasion check

Just takes it for 50

Fallah gives medicine, smells like oregano

Adam goes in for a hug, hesitates then retracts

Goes to bardic school to talk to master

Yava is there

12 insight check

Yava is usually v composed but today

Yava is an elf so is like bruh wdym u trust me after knowing me for like a month

Asks abt house security

Adam just straight up tells her he's in trouble w the xanathar guild and is asking for glyph of warning spells ?

Persuasion check, gives self bardic inspiration

11, yava agrees to help

She's willing to do it for free

Can cover 8 entrances to the house

"I'd b willing to do this but adam u must b more careful"

Adam tells her he's dealing w a large sum of money - half a million dragons

There was half a million dragons embezzled ?

Yava thought it was just a rumor

Adam is idiot

Adam asks yava if she wants in

Idiot

[rint4rous]

meeting the parents: karmelle

(this is so long hhhh)

karma met the (step)mom first

he already sorta met her in the summer trip since she was one of the assassins in the hotel

but they properly met when he comes over anielle’s house after school

as anielle unlocks the door karmas ready for her little siblings running up to her and welcoming her home and saying hi to him

but to his surprise its a woman with her arms crossed thats there when they walk in

wowie ! its arime kiriya !

anielle seems unbothered and ignores that her mom looks mad as shes taking off her shoes

“didnt know youd be home today”

“daichi says you skipped training for a week again.”

“daichi says a lot of things especially about me, probably to stray you from the fact hes failing one of his classes”

theres a screech from the kitchen

“?!!???!! SHES LYING DONT LISTEN TO HER”

arime just sighs, shaking her head

meanwhile karmas standing there like …?? um ok

as hes taking his shoes off, arime notices him

“oh, the boyfriend.”

ani: um??? no??? hes not??? my boyfriend???

“this is karma,,,”

“is he staying for dinner??”

karmas kinda panicking and his Respecful Mode is ON

hes not really intimidated, she just seems like a ‘normal’ mom to him but at the same time ..

this .. arime kiriya might be a pro assassin but before that she’s still anielle’s mom

he doesn’t really care about first impressions

so he has no idea why hes worrying now

“i usually do, unless you don’t want me to??”

“oh no no i would have insisted you stay if you said no”

anielle grabs karmas wrist

“call us down when foods ready”

shes dragging him up the stairs

she lets go of his wrist when they got in her room and shes like

“yeah um,, thats my mom,, i didnt know she would be home”

“shes different from what i expected?? from the trip she seemed more intimidating”

“oh shes actually pretty nice ?? we get in playful arguments sometimes but yeah even though shes not always at home she tries her best”

dinner time !

anielle said they werent together but arime could tell that even tho they werent tgt yet there was something there

arime asks karma a few questions as they’re eating and when karma answers, his tone’s polite and tame

anielle notices this

she finds it a little amusing, but honestly cute more than anything

when karma goes home arime says

“he seems like a good kid. you like him?”

ani, blushing: ?!??!!?! n-no

arime: ok sure

after that karma sees arime whenever shes home

he usually comes over anielles house so

but on the times that ani doesnt come home with karma, arime invites him for dinner

he says yes every time

arime always refers to him as the boyfriend though

not your boyfriend, but THE boyfriend

“you gonna invite the boyfriend over?” “how’s the boyfriend?” “ask the boyfriend if he wants to eat dinner with us”

anielles like please stop calling him that (1) he isnt my bf and (2) even if he was it sounds so weird and lame

(when karmelle start officially dating though she refers to him as karma)

karma eventually gets comfortable that he drops the Timid Tone and starts talking like himself

arimes not shocked at the change

HHH she looked thru the poor kid’s records and looked him up after they met because she has to know abt him if hes gonna end up with her daughter so she knew abt his personality and was waiting for it to show

arime’s honestly amused by him but she likes him and still thinks hes a good kid

he gets invited to their training sometimes

and sometimes gets to spar with arime he almost beat her once

as for ani’s (birth) mom, karma goes with anielle to the cemetery whenever she asks for mental support because sometimes it gets a little too much for her

the first time he went was after the incident with shiro

anielle wasnt planning on bringing him, but he insisted

he couldnt leave her alone, not after the emotional torture shiro put her through

when she broke down in his arms, he knew coming with her was the best decision, even if she didnt like the idea at first

the dad .. he met him three months after arime

karma knew that he was in the ministry of defense and is friends with karasuma, but was dealing with things overseas

thats all he really knew, he was expecting someone like karasuma

karma and ani were just playing a game tgt

then they hear the doorknob rattling ?!??!?!

out of instinct, anielle grabs the gun she keeps under the sofa hjgfhjksd

shes walking slowly towards the door gun in hand

the door opens

“i swear to god yuto i told you to stop doing that.. stop trying to scare the kids and open the door anielles gonna accidentally shoot you one of these days” arime scolds him as they walk in

yuto just laughs

anielle drops the gun and runs to hug her dad,, she hasnt seen him in months

“see! she had a damn gun ready!” arime sighs, pulling their luggage in

she sees karma “oh hi karma!! how you been?”

“good,,”

“so you’re karma? are you gonna join us for lunch?”

karmas like this is like meeting arime all over again

man he never thought his Respectful and Polite Mode would make a comeback but here he is

HHH karma: no fear

yuto: hi

karma: one fear

“yes sir”

anielles trying so hard not to laugh,, she cant believe karma just called her dad SIR HRKHHKJJKH

she and arime are silently snickering together while karma sits there as yuto studies him

“i’ll go start making the food,,” arime heads to the kitchen

“elly, go help your mom”

karma and anielle knew it was to get karma alone with him,, ani doesnt argue and goes to the kitchen

“arime and karasuma told me a lot about you.”

“oh”

yuto asks karma questions, but they arent Extra ykno

hes not Overly Protective, but hes more protective of ani because out of the two oldest, he knows anielle was affected by their mothers death most and took longest to get over it

he just wants to get to know karma

after arime karma was expecting the dad to be like her except more strict and intimidating but

for arime, it took two months for him to drop the timid tone

for yuto, it took an hour

hes still answering politely, but now hes including some snarky remarks as a joke and is talking in his usual tone

arime calls them for lunch

they all talk while eating and karma could tell the dad likes him too

hes just happy he got both of anis parents to like him

anielle met karmas parents like two weeks after graduation,, meaning karmelle are tgt now

she decided to tag along when karma went to the airport when they were coming back from a trip

he said they were coming back for a bit to spend time with him and to congratulate him for graduating

anielle didnt really know what to expect

shes looking at her phone when she hears a “karma!!!!”

she looks up and sees a woman waving at karma and a man beside her

as they’re approaching, his mom notices anielle beside him

“oh you came with... your girlfriend?”

“hi, i’m anielle!” ani greets. “i hope i’m not being a bother by being here?”

“not at all! i didn’t know our karma had a girlfriend?? since when??”

“we haven’t been together for long, but we met during our second year,,”

his mom turns to karma, “you dont tell your folks anything nowadays”

karma just shrugs

anielle shares brief greetings and conversations with his dad, the mom talks more

they dropped off their things and anielle stays for an hour and leaves so they can settle in

she gets invited to eat out with them the next day

(bruh all of these involve eatinf i am so original)

she gets to really talk with his parents

karmas mom jokes around like “our problem child managed to get himself a girl!!! he’s a real handful, isn’t he?”

anielle laughs it off, “hes tiring to deal with sometimes, but i manage. you learn to have patience with him”

karma: Bruh

ani came over sometimes, and she got to know the parents better (and vice versa, they just dont know shes a hitman)

they really like her, she keeps karma in check and they think she brings out the best in him,, shes reckless and chaotic just like karma but if she needs to, shes able to stop karma from doing stupid things and he actually listens so

his parents arent the kind that are like “wanna see karmas baby pics” to embarass him hes thankful

after a month they leave again

ani got their numbers, and the mom texts her from time to time to check up on karma (and her !!)

(karma doesnt know this)

[happytreasure]

can you write an angst hc abt henry finding eds in heat pre pregnancy??? (& then richie beating his ass after some good angst food) PLEASE

yup! its not too angsty but my writing rn is a bit subpar

-okay so this is only a year or so after eddie’s presented

-the pack all goes back to derry to visit family

-eddie and richie plan to stay w went and maggie

-a few days into the trip eddie starts feeling a bit feverish and richie thinks maybe he caught something on the plane bc his last heat was less than a month ago

-jessica and will invited everyone over to the hanlon farm for this huge feast

-but eddie feels so sick he can’t go but convinced richie to go and have fun

-maggie is home to take care of him

-maggie feeds him some chicken noodle soup and tucked him in before going to bed herself

-fyi eddie loves maggie bc even tho she doesn’t really understand richie or even eddie sometimes she always tries her best to take care of them

-when eddie wakes back he’s deep into preheat and has the incredible urge to prepare

-he can’t fine richie so he decides he should go out and get supplies himself

-he’s not thinking very clearly but it feels like a good idea to him

-he just kinda slips outta the house and makes it to a little like gas station/store to get supplies

-he gets everything from a concerned cashier who tells him to make it home safe

-as he walks out of the store he gets a call from richie

-“alpha!”

-but he quickly feels bad when he hears how panicked richie is

-“baby, are you okay?! where are you? i could smell your preheat when i got home.”

-“i couldn’t find you so i had to prepare, i’m just at the corner store down the street.”

-“okay i’m coming to get you, please be careful baby,”

-and eddie promises and hangs up

-he knows derry like the back of his hand so ofc he takes a few short cuts

-at one point he’s quickly cutting through a dark alley way

-suddenly he hears a dark voice

-“i almost didn’t recognize you, freak, looks like someone finally presented.”

-eddie whips around incredibly surprised to see henry leaned up against the brick wall, smoking a cigarette

-“although a male omega? i didn’t think you could downgrade from unpresented,” he sneers

-eddie holds the bags he’s carrying tighter. occurrences of male omegas have been increasing since the 1900s mostly because they aren’t being actively bred out of family lines or abandoned upon presentation

-but leave it to derry to be as backwards as always

-“leave me alone henry, i don’t have time for this”

-“oh, i can tell, someone’s about to go into heat, huh?”

-eddie tenses up bc he hadn’t really noticed how prevalent his scent is

-“fuck off, that has nothing to do with you”

-henry hums. “ya know as gross as you male omegas are, i hear you’re the best at taking cock,”

-suddenly eddie’s blood runs cold because sure he could take a beating like he did when he was a kid, but he didn’t know what he’d do if bowers has other intentions

-“i’m mated you piece of shit,”

-“that’s never stopped me.”

-and suddenly eddie realizes just exactly how close he’s let henry get

-“don’t fucking touch me.”

-henry simply ignores him, advancing more

-before he can really process it he’s pinned against the wall

-and henry’s letting his scent out full force bc he knows it’ll weaken eddie’s resolve

-and eddie feels so ridiculously lightheaded bc there’s an alpha letting out a mating scent so his instincts want him to obey but it’s not his alpha

-he still struggles bc he knows he doesn’t want it

-he gags as he feels henry’s hot breath against his neck

-panic fully sets in and eddie knees bowers in the crotch

-he slips out of his grasp and grabs the lid to a metal trash can slams it over his head

-immediately he starts running down the alleyway

-bowers goes after him

-eddie’s fast but in his current state he feels sluggish

-right as he’s about to exit the alleyway he runs into a warm, hard body

-instantly his mind goes to one of bowers goons and he thinks he’s fucked

-however when he steps back he realizes it richie, baseball bat in hand and blank expression on his face

-without hesitating he swings at bowers and eddie cringes at the cracking of ribs

-he’s nearly dizzy with relief

-richie picks him up, steps over bowers and grabs his bags and brings eddie home

-almost the entirety of his heat eddie is anxious and more than clingy towards richie

-richie scents him a ridiculous amount

[jumpboy-rembrandt]

hey do yall wanna hear an au idea i’ve had abt the seven birds as a superhero team? the plot is constantly changing, but here’s what i’ve got (warning it’s a lot and bullet points are used gratuitously):

an alien object falls to the earth, breaking apart as it falls. it scatters around a small city, and the pieces seem to hone in on the nearest living human once they near the ground.

(psst – this is the light of creation)

these seven (mostly) unrelated people slowly realize that they now have…unusual abilities

another alien entity follows, and its agents begin wreaking havoc around this city searching for the missing pieces of the light

(psst – this is the hunger)

individually, each person touched by the light ventures out to fight off these beings, especially since they themselves tend to be targeted.

these agents can get a vague sense of where the shards are, but not who exactly has them. thus, there is some degree of investigation done to find the individuals.

said agents can either be sentient or monster-like

the light-holders are all disguised as they fight – some for anonymity, some so that these agents have more trouble seeking them out, and some just because it seems like the right thing to do.

none of them knew each other before now, but they cross paths often enough that they realize they should probably group up.

most of them want to keep their identities secret, so they agree to do that while also making a few other decisions:

they should all have each others’ numbers. they won’t seek each other out, but it is important to keep in contact.

they should get better costumes (a plea from taako, who subsequently makes them)

they should have a theme

so they decide upon uniform colors and the title of “seven birds” because…idk, maybe they all like how poetic it sounds?

anyway, here’s a breakdown of each member:

magnus was struck by the light while sparring with carey behind their apartment complex. he was knocked over and carey kinda panicked?? but then he got up and said “did you do that?” and she responded “how would i hurl something at you from the sky, you’re fucking huge” and they moved past it

carey and magnus are roommates, so she’s the first one to notice when he starts accidentally breaking things and can knock her down more easily.

the weirdest part was when he was carving a little figurine and she jumped up behind him – to be fair, she thought he was drawing plans for something at the carpentry shop. they both saw the knife go directly towards his fingers and…bounce off. being magnus, he immediately tried to stab his hand and nothing happened. carey, being carey, poked the edge to see if it was dull and, ow, no, it wasn’t.

so, magnus has super strength and armor-like skin. a downside to this is that the changes weren’t entirely magic (think commitment), so he has to eat a lot more than usual and that’s. not insignificant.

the superhero name he chooses is eagle, which he called out immediately bc he wanted the best bird. his color theme is orange. his uniform doesn’t have sleeves, and it was a struggle for taako to even make him wear a shirt.

merle was hiking through the woods, and when he got hit he actually blacked out for a little bit. he woke up in a bed of flowers and, huh, that’s really convenient how it broke my fall

he works part time as an EMT and spends the rest working in a plant nursery. i. think you can guess how he notices what’s going on.

merle’s power is accelerating and manipulating organic growth, which means that he can both control plants and heal wounds. this does take a physical toll, as it is his energy being transferred. he also needs to eat a lot.

his superhero name is dove bc ~peace~ and stuff. his color theme is, naturally, green.

taako and lup were. uh. not getting in trouble. they were just having a misunderstanding. fortunately, said misunderstanding was not as fast as they were bc the misunderstanding was missing their shoes. they stumbled and fell as the light split at the last second and hit them both, but they quickly jumped back to their feet, turned a corner, and were home free.

both of them are studying masters level chemistry, so their discoveries are in public and require a bit of covering up. taako was trying to work out the chemical structure of a fairly simple crystal when it moved. he jumped, then tried it again, and found out that he could even separate out certain parts without needing a reactant.

lup gets bored waiting for a solution to boil and suddenly it explodes

taako’s power is manipulating chemical structures and lup’s is causing combustion or explosions. both require a knowledge of chemistry; taako has to understand the structure of what he’s moving or separating, and lup needs to know about boiling/ignition points and pressure changes etc. again; the energy comes from them. you get the point by now, i think.

taako is starling and purple, and lup is phoenix and red.

they both have pockets containing little beads of easy-to-change materials if they can’t find anything else to use

barry is a phd student, and was in the basement bio lab of the local university when the light phased through the ceiling and hit him. he stumbled backwards and fortunately didn’t hurt himself, bc he basically lives in there and no one would check on him for a while.

the next time he’s forced into a university function, he’s shrinking against a wall wishing he wasn’t there, and then he…isn’t. he falls over into the next room bc he just went through the wall.

i’ll be honest – barry basically has danny phantom powers. the tricky bit is that if he’s exhausted, instead of losing his powers, he can’t keep a physical form very well. finally, a reason for this man to get some sleep already.

his codename is nightingale and his color is blue. thank goodness he can make his clothes and glasses ghost with him, or else he’d be recognizable and useless.

davenport was relaxing with a short flight just outside of town. he notices some strange lights, then realizes one is coming towards him, then barely manages to keep the plane from crashing when it hits him in the head. he quickly lands and checks the plane for damage, but there’s no trace of it.

his mind is wandering during a pretty boring meeting one day when everyone suddenly stops. davenport tunes in and notices that, um, there’s a small boat appearing to float across the table. this completely snaps him out of his thoughts, and it disappears. it’s a good thing the old people on the board like to brush over unexplainable things, bc after a few moments, the meeting picks back up.

he works at a nerd museum. he mostly enjoys it, but also wants to save up enough to move to the coast.

his power is creating illusions and, depending on his energy, materializing them. the illusions barely cost anything, but the materialization is really draining.

his hero name is canary and his color theme is gold.

i wanted it to be albatross at first, but that sounded a little…eh? i liked canary better, esp since it’s yellow

+ instead of having half the symbolism of a curse, it symbolizes freedom!! i think that’s an important dav trait.

finally, lucretia was riding home on her bike and, unlike dav, did crash. strangely, she and her bike were totally unharmed.

lucretia works part-time as a secretary to save up for college, while also working at a bookstore bc she is a Nerd. she got lost in the Deep Shelves and, when a pile of books fell and set off a domino effect, she stretched out her hands to stop them – and they actually did stop.

lucretia can create force fields of any shape, and move them around. that may seem simple, but she can ride them like a hover board, trap people, and, if she’s strong enough, slice things.

her superhero name is bluejay and her color is teal.

other characters include:

julia, magnus’s coworker/boss’s daughter, and they’ve been in love since forever. when the light stuff started though, magnus figured he should slow down.

…yeah, she figures it out pretty soon. magnus is bad at keeping secrets.

carey, magnus’s roommate and constant alibi/excuse-maker/back-up

killian, who works security at the business lucretia secretaries at, and keeps bringing her out to social stuff bc the girl needs it. they also talk abt girls a lot bc they’re both Gay™ – lucretia especially enjoys teasing killian about carey with the “really great calves” from the gym.

killian accidentally said weird shit when first gushing about her and, of course, lucretia will never forget it

noelle was saved by the team from whatever the hell lucas ends up doing in this au. carey offers to share her room, esp since magnus is uh. working a little more irregularly these days and they could use the split rent.

noelle and carey also talk about girls, including killian who could “probably throw me across a room” from the gym.

angus was looking into all this nonsense and figured it was easiest to track down twins who seem to know a lot about chemistry. it wasn’t too hard. taako and lup were appalled that his parents Just Let Him Do That and so there’s a 50/50 chance that angus is in their spare room at any given time.

listen they got a two-bedroom apartment, but apparently they’re still too clingy to sleep alone. nerds.

ren is taako’s coworker and best friend. she knows Something is up, but isn’t entirely sure What. she also knows better than to try and find out. taako will tell her when he tells her.

honestly i low low lowkey dig the idea of noelle/ren but you didn’t hear that from me. if it happens to show up though. oh well.

avi makes frequent deliveries for the hammer and tongs, and is pretty tight with magnus. he’s even tighter with magnus’s dogs, which stay at the h&t bc his apartment is run by ruthless monsters.

johann is the town’s dramatic and overtalented musician, who is almost always in the background. i’m not sure what his deal is, but he sure is good at music.

hurley is a cop who keeps trying to figure out what is going on, but isn’t having much luck

artemis sterling is the very frustrated mayor

certain people are given powers by the hunger, a la hawk moth. these include gundren, magic brian, jenkins, sloane, the hammerheads, cpt cpt bane, lucas, etc.

the major manifestation of the hunger is john, but only merle manages to see him.

unlike miraculous, the hunger is dangerous to its hosts if they become disagreeable. the birds can save the people possessed, but it’s not easy.

there are Mysterious Third Parties that can grant additional powers

one is known as the raven queen. she grants kravitz the power to possess non-organic materials, as well as a scythe that can temporarily dislocate souls and do mild portal shit.

kravitz was a coroner trying to get a gig in the orchestra, but then he almost died and the raven queen resurrected him and he’s got a really strong sense of duty so he’s doing this now, he guesses. at least he still gets to have a normal life when he isn’t busy.

i like to think that after sloane rejects the hunger, the raven queen scoops her up and also grants the ability to possess non-organic objects. she was a good mechanic before, and is super good now. she gets hurley to give up on the whole investigation thing and join her and they live happily ever after, and also kick the occasional ass.

at first, RQ’s orders are to retrieve the light so it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands, but taako persuades kravitz that the birds are able to use it to defeat the hunger once and for all.

after that, the mission is just to keep as many people out of danger as possible.

istus and pan can also grant powers, but i’m not sure how they’d fit in yet

more random facts:

taako, lup, and barry are actually at the same university even though they never see each other. the mascot is a mongoose.

at some point the bio and chem departments are doing a joint conference thing. taako and lup are wandering around while spamming the birds’ group chat with really awful memes with magnus. meanwhile, barry is trying his best to ignore his constantly-vibrating phone as he talks to a professor about something actually important.

do they find each other in this truly ridiculous way? You Decide.

lucas is in the same department as barry, and even though he’s kind of a genius, he is also. how you say. a dick.

ren and taako work as chefs at the davy lamp. ren is almost definitely going to own it one day, and taako is proud of her.

lucretia and magnus meet via carey and killian, and quickly become close friends. because magnus is incapable of keeping a secret from anyone he knows, she finds out that he’s eagle and so they now know each other’s secret identities.

anyway that’s all i’ve got for now, thanks for coming to my ted talk

[kyanmaaaa]

okay so  i supposse i shouldnt be surprised i had a dream involving yanderes considering how much stuff i read for them

but it was surprising how scary it was! woke up with my heart pounding and stuff

so the beggining of the dream is im at some kind of event with my family and someone pulls me aside to talk abt something, and i follow them to another building cause hey we’re in a semi public place, and then we enter the building and theres just hands on me, picking me up, grabbing my arms and legs and all of a sudden theres way more  people than the one polite person i was talking to before and theyre all talking abt how they’ve finally got me and how mom and dad are gonna be so happy to finally have me in the family and im like woah woah hey woah what the fuck, wiggling and kicking and panicking cause why the fuck are they touching me stop touching me

i break free and ran through the weirdly empty and open house, coming to a two story tall room and falling through the door to the level below, its dirt on the bottom and the rooms featureless besides the unfinished windows and doors up above and everythings black. i crawl and shimmy up the supports and fucking run

the area we’re in is a little less populated so my cell reception isnt great, i try to call 911, and i try again, and again, but i cant get a signal, so i try calling my brother and for some reason that comes through and i just beg him to please come find me i dont know where i am but theres people and-

and then they found me

i dont remember what happens at this part but i guess i stay with that part of the family for a bit with plans to move me to see their mom and dad, everyone else was a child of them or something. i dont remember a punishment but i think i mightve gotten  one for being uncooperative and everything at this points just so much more frightening. everythings more clear once i escape

which involves a lot of running, resting in abandoned places but only where im clearly hidden but theres still plenty of room to maneaver in, always with more than one exit available. its been  a while like this, i havent seen anyone in a long time, still trying to get in contact with my brother, but im starting to get into a groove with keeping away from them, surely they’ve lost track of me by now?

i fuck up one day when im trying to go to the bathroom, im going down the stairs to a middle level with a small kitchen, and the level below has the bathroom, with only one exit on each floor, the stairs. i never make it to the bathroom, i step down that last step to the kitchen and i just hear a voice behind me  and i panic and grab them, squeezing around their mouth (a cats mouth?) before they can say more, choking them, its hard to breath to see to think but i try to bash their catlike head on a table, to keep them quiet maybe no one else has seen me yet if i can just knock them out but i CANT because i hate them im scared but i never never want to hurt anyone so each time i try to slam their head into the counter its just not hard enough and im more upset now, absolutely not thinking clearly as i try to shove them into the freezer where they clearly wont fit but hey maybe if it was old enough they’d be trapped in there (insulated and silencecd) for long enough to get me out

but someone comes down the stairs again and i break. apologizing, sobbing, apologizing, barely able to breath and speak through the stutters of I’m sorry, I’m sorry, because i dont want to go back I don’t want to be hurt again but im powerless and im sorry

im captured, they take a moment to assess the room, stare at their dizzied companion as i cower behind the support beams in the strange room

and then im at their mom and dads house, talking to a puppy that calls me dad. it doesnt understand that im not its father. At least the dog calls me dad, everyone else has been misgendering me the whole time. ive been given a new name, a pets name, and its too feminine, demeaning and im mad. so i tell the puppy lets have some fun and i show it how to absolutely destroy the mansion we’re in, knocking shit off tables, knocking over tables, just mayhem, general mayhem and destruction

when the butler comes im chastized, threatened, and the puppy stands on its hind legs and instead of being blamed with me it joins in, talking completely differently than before and callng me such a disgrace. i dont want the puppy to get in trouble i did start it after all, but it hurts to be alone, i thought the weird puppy was at least my friend and equal in this

after my punishment im finally introducted to the mom and dad of the family, theyre both youngerish, middle 30s at the latest, and kinda boring looking tbh in how conventially attractive they are. they examine me, talking as if im not there and how happy they are to finally have their pet, i bite my tongue and keep quiet.

im  not sure what starts this but theyre unhappy, and i hate them and im scared of them, but i dont want them to be unhappy im so tired of everything being unhappy, so i muster up my best fake peppy voice and ask if we can play dress up.

they have so many beautiful dresses! and accessories! and a pretty dollhouse backdrop where the dad tells me how pretty i am as i smile and follow directions for each pose as he takes pictures with his professional camera, my dress is huge and flows and its poofy and ruffled in PINK and momentarily im distracted from my situation by just how magical it feels, eating in the slim bits of affection im granted with each compliment and soft eyes

the mom looks over the picture roll with him over which pictures should go up on the wall, or perhaps in a fancy display like the one behind her, showing a younger picture of herself before saddening, commenting on how (she says the wrong name, the pets name, the one thats clearly not mine) is so much more beautiful than her, how shes past her prime, and the mood sullies

i jump in, telling her how im not more beautiful, im just more magical! (fake peppy voice fake peppy voice please dont be unhappy) and she’d be just the same if she’d join me in being a fairy princess (i doodle long flowing fairy like golden eyebrows on her portrait with my scepter) and she laughs and smiles

and then i woke up

im conflicted on this dream cause i was really, really fucking freaked out when i woke up, i mean kidnapping, some forgotten pain just outside of my memory, the loneliness, just getting touched with no control over and over again, the powerlessness, the fear, and the strong need not for approval but just some sort of stability even if i have to play the game with the wrong far far too feminine name