#and i just wanted to fuck around in DU after getting her to be honest

[applealchemist]

is this team cooked or nah

[rglsrctrsblck]

✨i would've made such a lovely bride (but he'll patch up the tapestry that i shred)✨

part iv : letting go

"Er du sikker på at du vil at jeg skal bli med deg tilbake til Hellas?" (You're certain you want me to come back with you to Greece?) Remus asked in amusement as he leant against the door, shirtless and only wearing sweatpants that hung way too fucking low on his hips.

"Selvsagt er jeg sikker, din tøffe Viking. Er du sikker på at du vil bli med?" (Of course I'm certain, you daft Viking. Are you certain you want to come with?) His way of speaking the language was still rough, considering he'd only been with for almost two weeks, but the pleased smile on his partner's face said that it didn't matter. Because to him, James was just the right amount of perfect in whatever he did.

"Å, jeg vil gjerne. Jeg ville bare at du skulle være sikker." (Oh, I'd love to. I just wanted you to be sure.) James smiled, dropping the rest of his clothes in favour of walking over to the taller and looping his arms around his neck, tugging him down gently for a kiss. Remus happily kissed back, hands gentle over his waist. "Du er så jævla vakker. Jeg kunne giftet meg med deg akkurat nå." (You are so fucking beautiful. I could marry you right now.)

James playfully glared at him, giggling when the other kissed his neck. It had been a running inside thing between the two of them. On James' first night of being shown around by Remus, a lovely elderly couple had mistaken them to be husbands before he tried to explain in English how they weren't married. Until Remus said that they weren't married yet and not to spoil the surprise. Of course, the couple believed he was being honest and grinned despite James' splutters, tugged him along with their fingers entwined, never once letting him go.

That was what made him fall for Remus in the first place.

Remus had been so understanding, and listened to him intently after assuring him that he wouldn't be judged. He told his story and how he left his home to move to a different country just to heal himself. How he agreed to be the best man in his ex-lover's wedding to keep a promise he made years ago. How he chose to stay despite every nerve in his body telling him to go. And Remus admired him for it. Said he didn't think he could ever deal with that if he had been the one in his place. James argued otherwise. But nonetheless, he called James a hero. A selfless hero that deserved everything in the world.

"Du lar meg distrahere deg. Men kommer vi tilbake til Hellas?" (You're letting me distract you. However will we make it back to Greece?) James giggled and hopped up, wrapping his legs around the other's hips and gasping at their proximity.

"Jeg kan takle en distraksjon eller to en stund, ja." (I can deal with a distraction or two for a while, yeah.) Remus only smirked before kissing him again, deeper this time as he slowly began to walk over to the bed.

They did eventually have to part minutes later when James' phone rang with a ringtone that he never thought he'd ever hear again.

Remus squeezed the skin on his waist and set him down with a soft smile, gently pushing him to the direction of the coffee table.

"Regulus?" He whispered, not sure what he was expecting.

"Just what the hell are you fetching from your car that's taking too long to get?" The younger asked in amusement, making James huff out a laugh.

"I'm fetching my wonderful ego, ever heard of her?"

"Oh? I didn't know you were transgender too?"

"My dick didn't seem plastered on to you?" Regulus let out an honest-to-god giggle, sighing after.

"I miss you, you idiot."

"Hey, you're the only one who didn't tell me that in a past tense. It's always the past tense with the others, makes me feel like I died."

"To be fair, you almost did. Pardon our friends if it stuck."

"Fair enough."

"I… I really do miss you, Jamie," Was… oh, fuck him, was Regulus fucking on the verge of crying?! "You were gone. Again. God, and it rained the night you left so I got worried and –"

"Reg.. Reggie, breathe. You're hearing my voice, aren't you? I'm okay."

"Thanks to you, that's not even a word anymore." James giggled, letting Remus hold him against his chest.

"How was the honeymoon?"

"It was… god, it was amazing, Jamie."

"Is he treating you well?"

"Always…" he could hear the love and adoration even if they were in very different places just from his voice alone. And that was all he needed to know that he made the right decision.

"Good. Do tell him that if he ever decides to cross you, I will shatter his kneecaps." Regulus giggled, and just like that, it was as if they were in high school again, giggling in the broom closets after running from Sirius and their then friends.

"I think he knew that, knows. Told me you intimidated him."

"Me? Intimidating? Little old me?"

"Oh, get off that high horse."

"Hm, high stag, you mean."

"Oh, yes. Definitely." A beat. "Are you being treated well?" Regulus never had to ask if there was anyone. Anyone who knew James in and out would recognise the happiness in his vocal tone alone, making the older smile that Regulus still knew him well enough to know he was happy.

"Yes. I've caught myself a Viking."

"I'm glad. I'm so… I'm so happy for you, Jamie."

"As I am for you."

"Thank you. For keeping your promise and being my best man. For helping me with our parents." James wanted to tell him that it wasn't him who had assured that their parents would be there, but he let it slide, just happy that Regulus was living his life.

"I'll take it you're back in England?"

"No, we decided to stay in Greece for a bit. We're actually in the bar Evan found you in."

"Is this supposed to be a full circle moment? Because my flight's not supposed to be for another few hours."

"We can wait or come back here, Jamie. But we want to welcome you home."

"Oh." There was comfortable silence between them for a few minutes, to each their own, before Regulus spoke again.

"I'll always love you. You know that, right?"

"Of course, Reggie. I've loved you from Leonis Vega to Regulus Arcturus and have had no regrets since."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Come home to us, James."

And come home he did. With Remus' fingers entwined with his, their bags in hand, they came home.

Home was his house in Greece.

Home was his friends waiting for him at the very bar he ran from.

Home was Remus Lupin's hands.

Home was the love he had for all of them.

He was home.

FIN.

[isaidsstuff]

I saw a video of a throuple and they looked really good together now my brain is rambling-

i love the concept of a relationship way more then i like participating in one. don’t get me wrong i love to feel loved but i hate how complicated everything becomes and i really dislike having to put my trust in another person.

tbh i do get depressed when i haven’t had human interaction.

ok reading that sentence back it’s like “du that’s literally just part of being human”

i really like daydreaming. most of my daydreams don’t involve me. i don’t exist and am nothing but an observer to the world i created. when i do daydream about myself i am more of an imaginary version of me, i don’t act the way i act.

i hate being observed in a relationship. well not quite, i like friendly pda walking arm in arm, putting my head on someone’s shoulder so i can see when they are looking at on their phone…that may be it.

i’m also not really a fan of traditional kissing i’m always too in my head about it. I constantly think i’m doing it wrong or that they don’t like it.

one time after a guy and i kissed he excitedly pressed kisses from my forehead, to the tip of my nose, down to my neck and it was one of the best feelings in the world. it felt like he couldn’t contain his affection and needed to kiss me the way you need to squeeze something you find cute. it made me feel like i was something special, something someone would get excited about.

he turned out to be a not so great guy. looking back i did something’s that i regret because it’s the way he wanted me to act, I was a worse person when i was with him.

the problem is most people just suck. I find everyone unbearably annoying at least sometimes. Liking someone makes people stupid. every time i talk to someone in a relationship i can’t help but roll my eyes at the way they talk about there partners.

but god does being with people sometimes feel great. i’m just not sure it worth the rest of it. being around people just makes me tired most of the time.

anyway my ex best friend texted me today. she wants to ketchup. she text me every couple months wanting to ketchup and i have to sit there and listen to her boring fucking problem and try not to slam my head into the wall as i placidly agree with her. assuring her that she is in fact the best at everything and is in fact right all the time.

the worst part is i’m just as bad! i complain about how stupid people are but I do all those things too. the only difference being that i’m self aware enough to realize that i’m doing it. the problem is knowing you are doing something doesn’t stop you from doing it. I’m a self centered piece of shit just like everybody else.

i don’t know why i can’t forgive other people for just being human and doing the same Annoying shit i do.

also i’m not hot. at risk of sounding hubristic i’m gonna say that i’m decently cute. my face could be worse, but it is also incredibly soft. i have a round face and dimples and it makes me look young for my age. i have what i would consider a unique/distinctive looking face. the two points in traditional beauty standards that i have are that i look young and thin.

if i ever want to look masculine i look even younger. i absolutely do not have the face for short hair! I don’t want to be a guy for some other reasons but if i’m honest it’s mainly that i would make an ugly guy.

people rarely find me attractive in a way that they would actively pursue a relationship with. not that i blame them i’ve turned people down mainly on the basis of how they look. I’ve also turned down people i do find attractive for other reasons so me finding them attractive is not the only quality that is a must, but it is one based on my previous dating history.

I’m also bad at social cues i usually don’t know that someone is flirting with me until they are literally asking me out. i often times need the quiet parts spelled out.

i just want connection and understanding that takes years and a level of emotional maturity that i do not possess.

sometimes i’m so self centered that i think i may be a narcissist but then i look around and it just seems like everyone is like that but i’m the only one willing to admit it to myself. I see people act like sadistic fucks to those around them then not even realizing that’s what they are doing. (i’ve mostly seen that in men being openly sadistic to women/ actively hateful and not even realizing it!)

i think we are all just brain broken. we are all wild animals that grew up in captivity pacing our cages that is at complete odds with what we evolved to do but if we were ever released we wouldn’t know how to survive.

yeah so that is too say that i am currently single…

[killerandhealerqueen]

mY frIeNd-

so I had read your red lipstick yuzhi head canon (can’t get over that ^~^) and now I’m wondering if you could do a similar one with shen yi and du cheng…? idk but yEs I sEe iT

That headcanon is also a fic, which you can read here: Red Lipstick. But I can see it...I can see it

Du Cheng’s sister, Du Qing, is asked to host a makeup launch and Du Cheng and Shen Yi are invited.  Neither man knows shit about makeup; and they don’t know why Du Qing invited them, but they’re not going to say no

So they get all dressed up and head to the event, only to find Du Qing and the host of the launch freaking the fuck out so they go to see what’s wrong, only to find out that the model that was supposed to used fell ill and now they don’t have anyone to model the makeup

Du Cheng, the jokester he is, playfully offers Shen Yi to be the model of the makeup line and Shen Yi looks at him in shock while Du Qing and the makeup artist look at him with narrowed eyes

“He has the facial structure…alright, he’ll work”

Shen Yi and Du Cheng both look at the makeup in shock as she reaches out and grabs Shen Yi by the arm, dragging him over to the stage, where a lot of people are waiting to see the makeup line

Du Qing then walks over to Du Cheng and claps him on the arm

“Nice thinking, brother”

Du Cheng hums and joins his sister in the crowd to watch as the makeup artist expertly does Shen Yi’s makeup, explaining how each product is supposed to be applied and how it enhances the face

She then pulls out a tube of red lipstick and carefully applies it to Shen Yi’s lips and the minute Du Cheng sees him in it, he has to remember how to fucking breathe because oh my god, Shen Yi looks fucking good in red lipstick

Du Qing notices the way her brother stills whenever he sees Shen Yi fully made up and she has to chuckle discretely under her breath

After the makeup launch, the makeup artist thanks Shen Yi profusely for allowing her to use him as her model and Shen Yi, being the polite fucker that he is, just smiles and nods before he quickly makes his way over to Du Qing and Du Cheng, huffing

“Alright, be honest.  How stupid do I look?”

Du Qing shakes her head

“I don’t think you look stupid at all”

Shen Yi frowns before he looks over at Du Cheng, hoping to get a more honest answer

“Du Cheng?”

Du Cheng stares at him before he shakes his head as well

“You don’t look stupid.  You look…nice”

Shen Yi blinks in shock before he frowns

“Do I?  I never got to see what I looked like in the end so I don’t know”

Du Qing smiles and quickly reaches into her purse, pulling out a small compact mirror before she hands it to him, Shen Yi quickly opening it to see what he looks like

“Oh”

Du Qing smiles

“See?  Pretty”

Shen Yi hums before he glances at Du Cheng, who is doing his best not to look at him, and frowns slightly before he hands the compact back to Du Qing

“Thank you”

Du Qing smiles as he looks at her

“Can you help me take this off?  I don’t…really want to walk around the mall looking like this”

Du Qing nods and guides him over to the makeup station to grab some makeup remover and makeup remover wipes, helping him remove the makeup

“You know…Du Cheng really liked you in the makeup”

Shen Yi looks at her in surprise

“Really?  Then how come he can’t even look at me?”

Du Qing chuffs

“Because he’s embarrassed.  And an idiot”

Shen Yi chuckles softly as Du Qing continues to help him remove the makeup before she looks at the makeup vanity and hums, making Shen Yi frown

“What?”

“Hush, I’m looking for something”

Shen Yi raises an eyebrow as Du Qing quickly makes sure his face isn’t greasy or glossy from the makeup remover before she reaches out and applies another lipstick, making him look at her in shock

“We just removed the makeup, why are you putting it back on?”

“I’m putting on a shade that I think compliments you more”

Shen Yi frowns before he turns to look in the mirror and his eyes widen slightly; the color is still red, but it’s a much more…muted brick red and Shen Yi has to agree with her, the color suits him better than the bright red

Du Qing then smiles

“See?  It’s like you’re not even wearing anything”

Shen Yi looks in the mirror and he can tell he’s wearing lipstick but from far away…he was sure no one could notice

He then looks at her and smiles

“Thanks Jie”

Du Qing smiles and shakes her head

“No, thank you.  You saved this even for me and helped me save face.  So, thank you”

Shen Yi smiles and dips his head as Du Qing gives him a nudge

“Now go on, Du Cheng seems a little lost”

Shen Yi smiles and nods before he heads back over to Du Cheng, who raises an eyebrow at him

“You put on a new lipstick?”

Shen Yi looks at him in surprise

“You noticed?”

Du Cheng huffs

“Of course I did”

He then looks away and stuffs his hands into his pockets

“I always notice things about you”

Shen Yi’s eyes widen slightly before he smiles and tilts his head

“And?  What do you think?”

Du Cheng looks at him and studies him before he hums

“I like this shade better.  Not as bright”

Shen Yi nods

“That’s what your sister said”

Du Cheng huffs

“She would know better than I would”

Shen Yi chuckles

“Me too”

Du Cheng looks over at him and smiles

“You look nice though.  Really”

Shen Yi looks at him in surprise before he smiles and blushes slightly

“Thank you”

They then head home because it’s late and as Shen Yi gets out of the car to head inside, he pauses before pressing a kiss to Du Cheng’s cheek, making Du Cheng look at him with wide eyes

Shen Yi, however, just smiles and heads inside, leaving Du Cheng stunned. He waits for Shen Yi’s door to close before he turns on the light and looks into his rearview mirror to see a soft imprint of lips on his cheek

He smiles slightly and turns off the light before he heads home, and the entire ride he can’t stop smiling

The next morning, when he comes in, he sees Shen Yi already briefing the others on a case but he’s not even paying attention because he sees that Shen Yi is wearing the same shade from the other night

He forces himself to concentrate and after the meeting, he pulls Shen Yi into his office, looking at him

“You’re still wearing the lipstick?”

Shen Yi blinks before he laughs and shakes his head

“No, your sister uh…actually stopped by last night to drop off a tube she had bought me.  Since she thought the color suited me”

Du Cheng hums and looks at Shen Yi, causing him to frown

“What?  Did it smear or something?”

Du Cheng shakes his head

“No…I just really like you in this shade.  It’s pretty.  It looks even better in the daylight”

Shen Yi blushes and dips his head before he turns and heads out of the office while Du Cheng hums; he needs to make a call to his sister and thank her for buying Shen Yi the lipstick

Because while he couldn’t keep his eyes off of Shen Yi before, now he really can’t keep his eyes off him

[g-on-ef]

Hey I was wondering if you're still a fan of Helluva Boss and what you thought of the latest episode?

@megashadowdragon asked: have you watched helluva boss episode 6 which came out today ( if you were unaware) what are your thoughts

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It warms my heart to know you guys ask for my opinion ^^ now let's get down to business

WARNING THIS REVIEW WILL BE A NEGATIVE ONE WIT A HINT OF POSITIVITY THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ON THE EPISODE YOU DONT HAVE TO AGREE WIT THEM BUT DONT WASTE MY TIME WIT YOUR NEED TO ATTACK ME FOR HAVING THOUGHTS OF MY OWN YOU HAVE BEEN WARN

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

To answer both questions yes I still watch Helluva Boss however after their latest episode I think I will just stick to writing fanfiction about Blitz and Striker as well as stick to whatever content the fandom creates.

This episode if Imma be honest with you guys was not worth the wait, hell I was literally tempted to leave the episode as it just didn’t have my attention as the others.

The episode had some decent moments where I was chuckling a little but other than that I wasn’t that into it, to be honest the bad out weigh the good. 

Also I wanna add that a while ago I wrote how Vivzipop and her crew did not know how to handle complex characters or complex scenes and I was right, this show and their crew do not know how to handle mature topics without reducing them into a joke but we are getting ahead of ourselves so let’s start with the pros, the cons, and everything in between.

Let’s start of with the pros,

Loona knowing when Blitz was being serious was a nice touch, it showed that even if Loona acts like she doesn’t care about Blitz she actually pays attention to him and knows when he is being serious and when he is joking around.

Moxxie was the true MVP his interaction with the agents had me smiling as well enjoying his moments.

Blitz protecting Moxxie

STRIKER !!!! I am a simp for this imp and I’ll take whatever crumbs I can get to see him ^^

Verosika, Fitzorallia, love them, love them 

And that’s it...to be honest that’s it...like other than that that’s basically all that I like from that episode...

Now let’s get into the rest of this episode...

Okay was anyone other than me confused as to why they decided now was a good time to introduce the agents so late in the game?

Like at this point I am convinced that Vivizie and her crew are just winging it.

The agents were literally thrown in the show and it felt outta the blue, like I said it feels like Vivizie and her crew don’t know what they are doing and are just throwing things together like they could’ve given us hints that the agents were watching them, or give us a hint that they were being spied on, it didn’t even have to be big it could have just been small.

An example would be from my favorite book series Cirque Du Freak, in the first book Mr. Crepsely (a main character in the book) mentions something small that will become huge in later books, it was small but allowed the reader to be curious it gave the reader that something big was coming and we should be prepared.

Like I said it was a small hint but I left me curious and wanting to read more to find out more about what is going on.

Helluva boss didn’t do that it just threw this new idea and new characters without giving the others to grow.

If they gave us a hint that they were being watched it wouldn’t have felt like that idea came outta nowhere.

Also was I the only one that was uncomfortable with the way Blitz kept making jokes about the agent’s dead mom? I’m sorry but that was just wrong on soooo many levels.

Also with the truth serum thing...why did they use it if they weren’t even gonna get answers like again this came outta nowhere because the truth serum was supposed to make them speak the truth not look like they were tripping on acid. On less I missed something please let me now if I did.

Also to be honest the whole confession thing was once again treated like a joke, especially when Blitz asked Moxxie why he let Millie peg him, ummm...an emotional scene like that shouldn’t have jokes of any kind surrounding it, especially when it was supposed to be a heartfull moment.

Now Blitz ... okay Blitz and his vision was a little decent but I also didn’t like it.  A lot of people had their speculation especially with the Stolas scene but the more I look at it the more I see it as a bittersweet moment.

Revealing that he was afraid of intamacy wasn’t that big of a surprised since we already knew that like it was nice for conformation.

Okay now onto the Sto*itz moment in the song ... like I said this was bittersweet moment,

People interpet the scene as how Blitz is afraid to love Stolas others saw it as Blitz was still chained to Stolas and would only be free if he and Stolas talk it out and another mentioned how he was forever chained to Stolas and how toxic the relationship between the two is.

Honestly I viewed it as how Blitz will be forever trapped in situations like this were he is to afraid to love someone or love himself and unless he comes to terms with his own demons he’ll forever be trapped in an endless cycle of pain and misery.

Now onto why I think that that Vivizie and her crew can’t handle mature themes.

Two characters have just had a revelation about their relationship with one another and instead of being honest with each other it gets turned into a joke...again...

Moxxie told Blitz what he felt and Blitz told him he treats him like shit cause its tough love...da freak ??? You just had a moment where you realized you pushed everyone away because you were afraid to be alone so you rather push everyone away so you have an excuse to let them leave and instead of admitting to that you just tell Moxxie it was all tough love.

Not to mentioned that you’re giving compliments and than tell him your done because your out of compliments...again you had a huge revelation and instead of giving the characters time to digest what they went through you just toss it to the side. 

Another thing that pissed me off was how right after a huge moment you throw in a fight scene...I...why...just why ???

You had an emotional scene (that had no build up) but than throw it to the side for a fight scene that shouldn’t have been added at all.

Like the minute Millie and Loona saved them they should’ve opened up a portal and take them away not waste time on fighting only for them to get caught in the end.

Like I literally feel like they wasted all that time on animation than on writing and planning what they wanted from this.

Like again they had an emotional connection/scene and threw it to the side for some fight scenes which was a disappointment because had Loona and Millie saved them  and take them home Blitz could’ve had some major character development and the four of them could have a heartfelt scene admitting everything that bothers them and help them get closer. 

Nope, they decided to just throw a fight scene why I don’t know but it bothers me how they just tossed an emotional scene for some action scenes.

So yeah I am not happy with how that was handle at all.

Let’s also get to the Loona and Millie scenes...Millie crying for Moxxie once again made no sense as we never seen Millie care for Moxxie, hell she cares more for Blitz than Moxxie which is fucked up.

Hell when Moxxie was being critizied by her parents she didn’t do much to defend him hell Sally Mae was more honest with him than Millie.

Honestly Millie feels like she is being written by twenty different people who don’t know what they want from her.

And Loona, Loona could seriously be written outta the episode and nothing would changed.

Also they truly refused to let their characters grow seriously Moxxie was still treated like shit by Blitz in the end so yeah no character growth at all.

And now onto the last scene with Stolas and Blitz ... holy shit man Imma be honest with you guys Stolas asking for sex after saving them feels fucked up, to me it felt like the only reasons he saved the imps is so that he doesn’t get in trouble and for Blitz to reward him for saving them.

Again they could’ve had Stolas saving them and they could have had a heart to heart moment nope we had to toss all that emotional build up (if one can call it that) and toss it to the side for cheap jokes and a horny owl.

needless to say I was beyond disappointed with this episode and with the way they handle the “saddest” scene in the episode I am scared to see how they will handle the other scenes.

AGAIN I honestly don’t see why this episode took so long and I feel like Vivzie and her crew are more focus on the animation than anything else which sucks because this show has so much potential and it is being thrown to the side for pretty designs and shipping moments. 

Anywhore that’s my thought on this show let me know what you guys think ^^

~GoNEF out ^^

[themculibrary]

Stucky Ultimate Binge Masterlist

below the cut is a massive rec list for any and all types of stucky fics!

1917 (ao3) - msbluesunflower, 9k Rating: Mature

Summary: Born on March 10th, 1985 in Brooklyn, James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes was named after Sergeant Barnes, Captain America’s childhood best friend, who died when he fell off a train in the Swiss Alps.

In 2008, Peggy Carter donates to the Smithsonian letters Captain Rogers wrote to Sergeant Barnes in 1944, after he fell.

Accidentally on Purpose (ao3) - nekare, notallbees, 12k Rating: Explicit

Summary: Bucky turns toward him, sliding his hand onto Steve’s hip as he mutters a lazy “G’night” and presses a soft kiss to the corner of Steve’s mouth. It takes him by surprise, and he barely has time to register Bucky’s half-closed eyes and the warmth of whiskey-ripe breath on his lips, before it’s over.

After Bucky drunkenly kisses Steve by accident, it just seems to keep on happening, until it’s not so much by accident anymore.

AKA the Greater New York PTSD Support Group (ao3) - triedunture, 12k Rating: Explicit

Summary: They’ve successfully completed what might be the most dangerous mission in history: the recovery of the Winter Soldier.

Now comes the recovery of Bucky Barnes, which is turning out to be even more difficult.

A story about Bucky coming back to the surface with the help of Steve, Sam, pancakes, video games, the city of New York, assorted Avengers, and beds that–really, let’s be honest here–are too soft to sleep on.

A Mother Always Knows (ao3) - readergirl1013, 16k Rating: Teen And Up

Summary: Winifred nods, a small knot of fear wending its way into her heart. He’s so…fixated on the Rogers boy. She swallows around the lump in her throat. Bucky is a good boy from an upstanding Christian family. He’s not like that. It isn’t possible - they’re raising him properly.

He’s just a confused little boy. He likes sports, and playing soldiers and cowboys with the other boys. He says all his prayers, memorized the Pater Noster, Ave Maria, and Gloria Patri, and he goes to catechism twice a week. And he’s bright, good with numbers like his father. He doesn’t try to play with his sisters’ dolls or dresses. He isn’t one of them. He can’t be.

Five times Winifred Barnes suspected her son was one of those sort, one time she knew for sure, and one more time.

Bei Mir Bist Du Schoen (ao3) - Laura JV (jacquez), 7k Rating: Explicit

Summary: Bucky Barnes and the Great Sexuality Crisis of 1938.

Be my baby (ao3) - MonalisaMontauk, 8k Rating: Teen and Up

Summary: Bucky’s gets a job as a barista. His first shift is on open mic night and he is unprepared for the tiny blond musician who does Taylor Swift Covers and has amazing taste in music. Cue pining Bucky.

butterfly kisses (ao3) - itsmylifekay, 4k Rating: Not Rated

Summary: Four short glimpses into Steve and Bucky growing up together, being really cute, and figuring out their relationship.

Or, I found a kissing fic meme on tumblr and my friend picked random numbers and so here we are. Steve and Bucky fluff to the max.

Captain Hot Perfect Teacher (ao3) - captainrum, 6k Rating: Teen And Up

Summary: Steve is a fifth grade teacher. Bucky is a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, whose son is in Steve’s class. They meet at a parent-teacher conference. There’s blood involved.

Casual Encounters (ao3) - MoreThanSlightly (cadignan), 66k Rating: Explicit

Summary: “You have never once been careful in your entire life.” Bucky huffs out a laugh. He looks away. “Maybe I’m offended you didn’t think to ask me.” He says it like a joke, but he can’t bring himself to laugh again.

“Bucky,” Steve says, scandalized. “You’re my friend. I’m not gonna use you to experiment sexually.”

Civilized Society (ao3) - kehinki, 7k Rating: Teen and Up

Summary: Steve didn’t want an alpha.

Dishonor On Your Cow (ao3) -mandarou, 111k Rating: Explicit

Summary: “Sergeant Barnes?”

“Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.

“Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”

Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.

“I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”

“Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.

Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.

“I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.

During Business Hours: A Filthy Coffee Shop AU (ao3) - samanthahirr, 25k

Summary: Unemployed artist Steve takes a job managing the worst coffee shop in Brooklyn, where the floors are greasy, the coffee beans have expired, the espresso machine’s been sabotaged, and the owners might be Russian Mafia. But the job comes with a few perks, like a generous paycheck, reasonable hours, and one super-hot customer whom Steve can’t resist having dirty, filthy, bad-idea sex with in the bathroom.

Steve is pretty sure this job is going to kill him. But what a way to go….

Fate Will Play Us Out (ao3) - steveandbucky, 30k

Rating: Mature

Summary: Bucky has landed himself a job with Stark Industries. He doesn't know yet that the job is actually being the PR manager for the Avengers.

Bucky has also started dating Steve Rogers. He also doesn't know yet that Steve is Captain America.

Bucky's life is about to get a whole lot more exciting.

fed up with hunger (ao3) - frankoceansmoonriver, 10k Rating: Not Rated

Summary: “What do you wanna talk about? How I’m gonna have to marry some girl with perfect ringlets and you’re gonna marry some girl who’s smarter than both of us combined, and you’ll be right to? What is there to talk about? Quit being a dumbass and just go to sleep.” He says it so matter of fact. He says it like none of it bothers him. Steve sighs. “Nobody is gonna marry me,” Steve says softly. He lays back down and goes to sleep. In the morning, Bucky doesn’t mention it and neither does Steve. They go back to not talking about it. Maybe they never will. Or, the one where it’s 1939 and sometimes Steve thinks that having is worse than wanting.

just goddamn marry me already, for fuck’s sake (ao3) - newsbypostcard, 6k Rating: Explicit

Summary: “Do you,” Steve says, fingers newly tugging Bucky’s underwear until it starts to slide off his hips, “want to marry me, or not?”

Bucky sighs. “You know, in some circles people would consider this interrogation under duress.”

just say you do (ao3) - biblionerd07, 173k Rating: Teen And Up

Summary: Steve just wanted a job. He wasn’t expecting a marriage proposal. And he certainly wasn’t expecting to accept.

Let’s Hear It For Captain America! (ao3) - Magnetism_bind, 5k Rating: Explicit

Summary: A missing scene from Captain America: The First Avenger

New Life (ao3) - samandbucky, 3k Rating: General

Summary: Omega Steve meets Alpha Bucky through a nanny gig. Steve was expecting this to be just another gig, nothing more and nothing less. He never expected to bond with the alpha's children, or become part of the alpha's life permanently.

perfectly right wrong number (ao3) - melonbutterfly, 31k Rating: Teen And Up

Summary: It all starts because Steve is too dumb to handle his smartphone.

A wrong number AU in which Bucky Barnes doesn’t enter Steve’s life (meaning: Bucky wasn’t born until the eighties, but Steve is still Captain America) until Steve accidentally dials the wrong number. Wherein there is a lot of texting, some advice via Natasha and Darcy, a bit of pining, and a first date in an amusement park. Oh, and on top of being a disabled veteran, Bucky is a professional catwalker. Literally.

practice makes imperfect (ao3) - wintermadethissoldier, 3k Rating: Mature

Summary: the one where bucky learns that steve’s never kissed a girl and insists he has to practice, preferably, with bucky. 17 is an age bucky will never forget.

Slide To Answer (ao3) - relenafanel, 6k Rating: Teen And Up

Summary: “What do I do?” Steve appealed into the phone. “I’m freaking out.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. It lasted so long that Steve pulled the receiver away from his ear and frowned at it. Pay phones were old. Maybe this one wasn’t working despite the obvious dial tone when he picked up.

“Ok,” a stranger’s voice said over the phone. “First acknowledge the fact that you dialed the wrong number, but be quick about it because my cab is a few blocks away from my own plans and I’m about to drop some truth bombs on you.”

Something So Precious (ao3) - steveandbucky, 38k Rating: Explicit

Summary: Bucky Barnes has two major weaknesses: small babies and big men.

Enter Steve Rogers: tall, blonde, all-around dream hunk, and awkward single parent.

Sweetener (ao3) - goldheartedsky, 5k Rating: Explicit

Summary: Bucky comes home drunk after striking out on a date.

Steve ends up being the next best thing.

That Moment Divine (ao3) - synonym4life, 61k Rating: Explicit

Summary: “‘S okay. It don’t have to mean nothing,” Bucky said, trying to convince himself as much as Steve. “‘S just rutting. Just a bit of rutting.”

His lips were so dry, his mouth too, and his throat, but the rest of his body felt like hot languid liquid was flowing through it. Steve swallowed, licked his lips. Maybe Steve’s mouth was dry too?

One hot summer, when Bucky and Steve are fifteen, the line between their friendship and something new that Bucky can’t quite name blurs. It is only years later that the line disappears completely and Bucky can finally put a name to that something.

the bruises that we share (ao3) - samandbucky, 3k Rating: Teen And Up

Summary: Soulmate AU. Sharing the same injuries/bruises. Pre-War. Skinny!Steve doesn’t like bullies, and often finds himself getting beat up, leaving bruises littered all over his body. Steve doesn’t really think about his soulmate when he gets himself in these situations, figuring someone like him won’t end up with his soulmate. Then, Bucky enters the picture.

The Fool in the Mirror (ao3) - thepinupchemist, 111k Rating: Explicit

Summary: The Avengers, SHIELD, and the world at large have underestimated the pain that Steve Rogers is in.

The night after a near brush with a suicide attempt, Steve discovers the world of support omegas, and in his desperation for relief from the battlefield of his brain, demands to have one.

Enter Bucky Barnes: retired marine, millennial, amputee, brother, son, and support omega. He maybe, just maybe, can help a broken alpha heal in the twenty-first century.

this city bleeds its aching heart (ao3) - Renne, 34k Rating: Explicit

Summary: The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.

To Be Vulnerable Is Needed Most Of All (ao3) - perfect_plan, 118k Rating: Mature

Summary: Steve is a shy comic book artist and meets his new neighbour, Bucky Barnes.

In which there are awkward longings, meddling best friends, comic conventions, heartache, lemons, video games, dorkiness, dancing and two cute boys.

Uncertainty (ao3) - Jaiden_S, 22k Rating: Mature

Summary: In the search for the Winter Soldier, Steve feels useless until he discovers a connection to Bucky that’s stronger than friendship.

we’re pretenders (ao3) - snufkin103, 10k Rating: Not Rated

Summary: Bucky sets up a double date. Things don’t go as planned.

[withcolebrock]

Ice Cream Date

Summary: Colby and Y/N decide to go get ice cream after not being able to fall asleep

Requested: yes!

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 1,026

Author’s Note: hello bubssss! This idea is really cute, but it’s not really edited I’m sorry. I hope you guys enjoy it!! This is my Gif!!

It was another night where the house was almost impossible to sleep in. Ever since the air conditioning went out, the house became a sauna. Most nights Colby would go spend the night at Y/N’s apartment because he could actually sleep at her apartment.

Tonight was a different story. Y/N’s roommate was having a bunch of her family over at their apartment and Y/N’s and Colby couldn’t sleep there. It was over an hour since they had tried to fall asleep, but they couldn’t. “Babe,” Colby groaned as he rolled onto his back. She hummed in response while she squinted her eyes tightly. “Can we just go to your place? I’m fucking tired,” he rasped as he wiped the sweat from his forehead.

“We can’t, Baby,” she sighed, turning her head towards Colby. She opened her eyes slowly meeting his eye. She scanned his features noticing the sweat and his pinked cheeks. “You know that,” she whispered as she ran her hand across his cheek. His lips fell into a pout as he kicked the blanket off that was only covering half of his body.

“Why can’t we sneak to your room and then sneak out in the morning, I just want to sleep,” he continued while brushing his hair away from his forehead. She continues to run her thumb along his cheek, “And to be cold,” he draws out his words as he squints his eyes shut tightly.

“I’m sorry, Sweets,” she whispered as Colby reached his hand up and took a hold of her hand from his cheek. He brought her hand to his lips and pressed his lips against her knuckles. She smiled softly as she watched him. “Do you want to get out of here, get some food or something?” she suggested. He sighed while pressing his lips together.

“Ice cream?” he questioned curling his lips upward slightly. A breathy laugh leaves her lips as she slowly sits up from the bed. She nods while rubbing her eyes, “Yes!” he cheers as he jolts out of the bed. He quickly walked over to his closet, “What’s going to be open? McDonalds? We can get a McFlurry or just a cone -oh what about Baskin Robbins? No, I think McDonalds will be good. You good with that?” he ranted as he pulled a XPLR shirt over his head. She sat at the edge of the bed smiling towards him.

He turned around facing her with a broad smile, “Babe, come on,” he drew out his words as he jumped softly into the air. Y/N shakes her head walking towards him, “You gonna put some clothes on, or are you going to pull up to McDonalds in this,” his eyes look her body up and down slowly as he points his finger towards her. He smirked as he glided his finger down her body.

She rolls her eyes while laughing, she pushes passed him walking towards the closet. She began putting on one of Colby’s t-shirts; she reached down to the floor picking up a pair of her shorts. “Damn, I was kinda hoping you would’ve picked the second option,” he reached over, wrapping his arms around her waist. She took a hold of his hands around her waist. She giggled as he swayed her body back and forth. He quickly pressed his lips to her jaw before pulling his body away. “Come on, babe, ice cream,”

~~~

“I still can’t believe they took away Reese's McFlurrys,” she commented while taking a small spoonful of her ice cream. Colby’s eyes widened as he nodded.

“They were the best ones,” he shot back as he continued eating his ice cream. She reached over to the stereo and turned it up lightly. He leaned his head back against the headrest and let out a long sigh. He shut his eyes briefly as he pressed his lips together. He turned his head to meet her eye. He stayed quiet for a moment as he gazed into her eyes. “I have to get out of that house,” he groaned. Y/N chuckled as she shaked her head.

“You love living there, bub,” she rested her hand on top of his while she looked into his sleepy eyes. He furrowed his eyebrows while he shook his head.

“I love the guys, I do, but fuck, it’s disgusting there-and it’s never quiet. Sometimes a man just wants to take a nap with his girlfriend and-oh! Not let it be a thousand degrees,” He explains, while shoving a large spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. She giggled while watching him, taking some ice cream and taking a bite as well. Her lips curled up softly as she watched him rub his eyes.

“You’re moving out in two months,” she said while licking her spoon, “It won’t be too bad,” her gaze flickered down towards her half empty ice cream cup.

While eating another spoonful of ice cream, his eyes widened suddenly, “What if you moved in with me when I move out?” he leaned his body towards her subtly. Her features reddened as she stared at Colby expectantly. His mouth opened and closed several times before he took in a long breath. “I’m always at your apartment and your always at the house-and we’ve been together for over two years. You know what, nevermind, it was du-”

“No! I think it’s a great idea!” she explained, a broad smileto her features. “I just wasn’t expecting it, to be honest,”

“I mean I’ve been thinking about asking you for a while, but I know you wouldn’t move to the house,” he explained, placing his empty ice cream cup into the cup holder. She scrunched her features while shaking her head, Colby chuckled. “Figured, so you think we should?”

“I think so, Bub,” she leaned towards him. He smiled widely as he rested his hand onto her cheek. His eyes flickered, admiring her features. He leaned down pressing his lips against hers softly. She shut her eyes, embracing the moment. “I’m decorating the apartment, though,” she whispered against his lips.

“Definetly,” he whispered as he leaned towards her again.

[schrijverr]

'Till Death Do Us Part

Part 10 out 13

When Alex has to bring Philip to work, he and Thomas discover that they both have something in common: they lost their love. They form an unexpected bond and connection about this that grows into something more.

A medium burn with parental feelings about Philip and flowers.

On AO3.

Ships: Jamilton

Warnings: mentions of death and loss.

~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 10: Virgin’s Bower Means ‘Filial Love’

The three of them were sitting around the dinner table eating, when Philip asked: “Are you my dad now too?”

Both paused and Alex looked at Thomas with wide eyes, clearlynot sure how to explain that question while Thomas was frozen in shock. After a moment of finding his wits he choked: “Why are you asking, Pip?”

“When I was talking to Theo about how you guys love each other now and then she says her cousins have parents who don’t love each other anymore, but they have new people they love and they are her cousins parents now too, so since you two love each other now does that mean your my dad too?” Pip explained his thought process.

“Well, uh- I- Thomas?” Alex said, not wanting to make decisions for him.

“What do you-” Thomas started to ask Alex why the fuck he was shoving this conversation on him, before cutting himself off and taking a calming breath. This was not how he had imagined his evening to go when he said yes to dinner.

Philip just watched the two of them with a confused expression, not sure why they were being so weird about his question.

“I don’t know, Pip,” Thomas finally answered calmly, “I can never replace your Daddy, John, and I can never tell you how you should feel about me. It’s honestly up to you.”

Alex mentally thanked Thomas so hard for coming up with that answer, which saved them both from answering.

Sure, he would love to not be the lone parent for Pip, but he would never ask that of Thomas. He knew the other loved his son and Thomas had assured him often enough that he enjoyed taking care of him, but being a dad was a whole other step.

A step that was more commitment, both to Philip and Alex. So Alex could never ask it, Pip however…

“Up to me?” Philip asked.

“Yeah, kiddo,” Thomas nodded, “If you’re more comfortable with me being your Uncle that is totally fine, but if you want me to be your dad, then I’m up for that.”

Alex hadn’t known that, it seemed like Thomas had thought about it a bit more than him. He had suppressed the thought every time it came up, not wanting to get his hopes up only to be disappointed.

Thomas, on the other hand, had had the thought in the back of his mind ever since it had gotten serious. He knew that if this was long term, one day this decision would come. The only reason he’d never brought it up was because he didn’t want Alex to think he wanted to replace John and because it would make them that much more serious.

And he didn’t want to scare Alex off bybeing more intense, so since Alex hadn’t said anything, neither had he. Until Philip had brought it up.

Both watched Philip as he thought about Thomas’s words. Alex was glad that Philip seemed to take this serious and was actually contemplating it, instead of just rushing into making a decision. A skill he had picked up more from Eliza than him if he was honest.

“I’d like for you to be my dad,” Philip finally broke the silence.

Alex was both relieved and tense at the revelation. Would Thomas really be okay with it? Was he just pretending and was it now going to be awkward? But- but what if Thomas meant it? What if he wasn’t going to leave?

Thomas smiled and held out his hand for Philip to shake: “Then I’m honored to be your dad. Here, we’ll shake on it.”

Philip shook his hand enthusiastically, then said: “But I can’t call you Papa or Daddy, I already have those, but dad sounds boring.”

“Well,” Thomas offered, “I call my mom, Ma, so you could call me Da, if you want.”

“Da,” Philip tried it out, then grinned toothily, “Da is good.”

And with that it was apparently settled for Philip, who went back to eating his dinner as if he hadn’t just made a big change in their life.

Alex eyes searched for Thomas and when they met, he frowned concerned, then quirked a brow to ask: ‘You okay with this?’

In return Thomas did the smile that made his eyes crinkle and nodded, even doing a small thumbs up. Alex received the message: ‘Yes.’

With the confirmation Alex allowed himself to smile back. Though he had hoped, a small cynical part of his brain had never believed Thomas would agree to this, had never believed he wouldn’t be alone.

He knew he was selling his friends short, God knows he wouldn’t have been able to raise Philip the way he had if they hadn’t stepped up the way they did. All the times they picked up Philip, watched him, took him out for fun days, had saved him so many times, but they would never be John.

Not that Thomas could be.

It was just that Thomas came close, he was so different from John, yet in all the places Alex needed him, wanted him. He fit.

When Alex was tired, Thomas got up. When Alex was busy, Thomas made time. When Alex couldn't handle it, Thomas stepped up.

The dynamic was vastly different to what he and John had and Alex didn’t think he would ever find something like that. But that didn’t matter. Thomas wasn’t the same, but Alex wasn’t the same as he was back then either.

They worked well together and Alex would never want a new John, because no one could be a new John. Alex wanted a new chance at living the life, they wanted and he could see himself living it with Thomas.

Philip might be oblivious to how much he just did, but neither mind as their – their– son happily ate his dinner while telling them about the haunted slide at his school.

Later that evening, when Philip was tucked into bed, Alex checked in again: “Hey, I don’t wanna make things awkward and I am totally on board if you are, but I do have to ask. Are you truly okay with being a dad to Pip?”

Thomas paused to think. This calmed Alex more than he would think, but Alex appreciated it when people actually thought about his words before responding that way he knew they actually meant it when they replied, which was great when it was about emotional things. Which he was bad at.

“Yeah, I’ve always wanted to be a dad, honestly. And Philip is the best kid I could hope for,” he responded finally, “I also meant it when I said I don’t want to replace John. I’m gonna be me and I’m gonna try to do my best for Pip, if you let me.”

“God, every time I think I can’t love you more, asshole.”

“The insult and statement are really messing with me, du-” he got cut off by a kiss and when Alex broke he said: “I’m going to ignore that you tried to call me dude there, bro.”

“I hate you.”

“And I live to please,” Alex smirked, a smirk that fell ashe sincerely said, “I’m very grateful for what you do. With Pip.”

“I do it with love and I mean that,” Thomas dropped a kiss on his head, beforechangingthe subject, “Now Angie told me during lunch that you once claimed Money, Money, Moneywas ABBA’s best song and I’m going to need you to defend that statement, because that is clearly incorrect.”

“Oh and what do you think it is then?” Alex challenged.

“Waterloo, duh.”

“The historical bullshittery in that song alone is enough to disqualify your position, try again.”

“And your opinion is so great because…? Eh, riddle me that.”

“Money, Money, Moneyradicalized every young queer person who watched Mamma Miaand you cannot convince me otherwise.”

“Says nothing about the quality of the song, baby. Waterloois and remains superior.”

They squabbled while they cleaned up the kitchen, finally ending up in playing the songs, which then developed into a karaoke and dance party, but they will never speak of that again.

When they got to the office the next time, Alex stopped by Angelica’s office and leaned against the door. She looked up, unimpressed, and said: “What?”

“You know, if you gossip about my relationship behind my back, you really gotta learn how to pick your dates,” he told her condescendingly.

“What?”

“Developments happen when you’re away, sweetheart,” he started to walk away with a smirk.

“Alexander come back here and tell me,” she flew out her chair and hurried after him, “Alexander Hamilton, don’t you dare set another step without telling me everything.”

Thomas heard the ruckus and poked his head out of the door: “Are you terrorizing Angie again, Alex?”

“Nah, just extorting a cookie and free dinner out of her,” Alex smiled sweetly.

“Are those your demands?” Angelica asked sharply.

“Yeah, Philip’s eating at Eliza’s tonight, hope you have time,” Alex blew her a kiss before sashaying down the hall, when he passed by Thomas’s office the man rolled his eyes: “Menace.”

“Come get your cookie at coffee time,” Angelica called after him.

Alex saluted, before settling down in his office with a satisfied look on his face as he got to work.

The day passed by as Alex typed his documents, went to his meeting, ate lunch with Thomas, before driving to Angelica’s place where he told her everything that had happened yesterday.

At the end of the night he bid her goodbye: “Bye, Angie. It was nice to catch up again.”

“Yeah, the same, ‘Lex, don’t be a stranger,” Angelica hugged him and kissed his cheeks, before telling him to say hi to Eliza and Maria from her and to tell Eliza she’s rude.

The drive to Eliza and Maria’s home was uneventful, but when he pulled up to their house, Eliza was already waiting for him in the doorway. She had her arms crossed and when Alex was close enough to hear, she said: “Why did I get a text from Angie reading: ‘One of Pip’s dads is coming your way’ winky face, she typed a winky face, Alex.”

“And you really think I’m not here to tell you and pick up Pip, you think so lowly of me, ‘Liza,” he grinned.

“Oh thank God, thought I was going to force you to tell me,” she sighed with relief, Eliza was never one for forcing people. Though she could be scary if she wanted to.

“Didn’t Pip say anything? I’m surprised, he’s usually a talker,” Alex said, stepping inside.

As if on cue, Philip came running. He threw himself into Alex’s arms and said: “Papa! We had dino nuggets for dinner and I drew everyone, wanna see?”

“Of course I wanna see, buddy,” Alex smiled.

Philip bounded away to get the drawing and Eliza asked: “So what could he have said?”

“I think he will already tell you, did you ask about the drawing yet?” Alex replied.

“No, not yet. He’s been working on it ever since he got here, but he wanted to finish it first,” she said as she led him to the kitchen table.

“Ah, how are you and Maria, by the way?”

“Good, Maria is at the orphanage today, so it’s just me here. We’re doing a drama program in the weekends currently, so that’s a lot of fun,” she told him.

“Oh, wow, sounds fun. Are the kids enjoying it?”

“I think so. We got a few actors running around, that’s for sure,” Eliza smiled.

“Well, I’ll be sure to keep an eye on movies in the future,” Alex grinned back, “Angelica says hi to you both, by the way, and I had to tell you you’re rude. She’ll kill me if I forget.”

Eliza’s smile turned exasperated and she replied: “I’ll call her tonight, haven’t spoken to her in a while, you know how she gets.”

Alex chuckled at that, but didn’t get to reply, because Philip came back with the drawing. He put it on the table and climbed into the chair next to Alex, so that he could show his Papa the figures. It weren’t stick figures anymore and most of them were pretty recognizable.

Pip pointed at first figure and began to explain: “This is Grandpa George and Grandma Martha and they’re holding hands and next to them is Uncle Laf, he’s annoying Grandpa George, but he doesn’t mind.”

Alex saw that the drawn Lafayette had a speech bubble with senseless scribbles in it.

“And then on the other side you have Uncle Herc and then Auntie Maria and Auntie Eliza, Auntie Maria is giving Auntie Eliza a kiss, like she does whenever she leaves.”

“Is she going then?” Alex asked.

“Maybe, I don’t know yet, maybe I’ll add a portal behind her,” Philip answered, “Next to Auntie Eliza is Auntie Peggy, she’s poking you. You see Papa?”

Alex studied the figure that was meant to represent him. It was a green blob with his beard and long hair in a messy bun, who was holding hands with the figure he assumed was Thomas. The Peggy figure was indeed poking his cheek. He smirked: “I can see that, Pip. Very well done.”

“Thank you, I was gonna make Auntie Angelica next to you, but she is now standing next to Uncle Laf and being tired about his actions,” Pip explained, making the both of them laugh.

“Who is that?” Alex asked, spotting a figure in the sky.

“That’s Auntie Martha, Da said she’s dancing with the stars, so I drew her with the stars and here is Daddy with angels,” Pip told him.

Alex now recognized the colors as one of the dresses Martha wore in the pictures in Thomas’s house, then also the outfit John wore in the picture on the mantle piece.

He was a bit chocked up about it and was luckily saved from replying by Eliza, who repeated in a questioning tone: “Da?”

“Yeah, Da’s here,” Pip pointed to the magenta figure with big hair holding Alex’s hand, “He’s holding Papa’s hand and I’m in between them.”

“Do you mean Thomas?” Eliza asked, giving Alex a look that meant ‘you could have at least given me a bit of information’. She was piecing it together along with Angelica’s text.

“Yeah, he’s my dad now too, isn’t that cool, Auntie Eliza?” Pip answered excitedly.

“Very cool,” Eliza smiled, “When did that happen?”

“Yesterday,” Philip informed her with a smile, “I asked if he was my dad now too during dinner and he said I got to pick and I said yes, so now he’s my Da.”

“Oh wow,” Eliza glared at Alex. The message was received: ‘We’ll talk about this later.’

Alex just rolled his eyes and just focused on letting Philip explain the drawing in more detail, before getting them home.

While that was all happening, Thomas ate dinner by himself for the first time in a while. The house didn’t feel that much like home anymore and Thomas didn’t really want to acknowledge it, so when he had finished his dinner, he decided to call his Ma.

“Hello, this is Jane Jefferson speaking,” she picked up.

“Hi, Ma, how are you?” Thomas greeted her warmly, ever since his call after his birthday they’d been calling more and Thomas found their relationship improving despite the distance.

“Ah, Tommy, I’m good, I’m good, how are you?” she replied, then cheekily added, “How’s your loverboy?”

“Ma,” Thomas whined.

“What you never tell me anything, I can ask.”

“I do tell you almost everything,” Thomas refuted, “I’m actually currently calling you to tell you things.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I- uhm, I guess, I’m a dad now,” Thomas decided to start there.

“What?”

Thomas expanded: “Philip calls me Da, so that happened.”

“Oh my God, I officially have agrandson, how exciting,” his Ma gushed.

“I guess so,” Thomas chuckled.

“Am I meeting my grandson and my future son-in-law anytime soon or are you still not asking them?” she inquired.

“They’re also coming to Monticello this summer,” Thomas was glad he could answer that question this time, “And can you please not refer to Alex like that when we’re there.”

“And why not, is it not true?” Thomas could practically see his mother’s amused look.

“It’s embarrassing, Ma,” he was also not above pleading and whining.

“I’m not embarrassing.”

“You are very embarrassing.”

“We’ll see that when you get here, will you and Alex be sharing a room?”

“Yeah.”

“No funny business under my roof.”

“Ma!”

And they talked like that for a bit more. Thomas was both excited and extremely nervous to go home again that summer. He didn’t know if Alex and Philip being there made his nerves better or worse.

A while had passed between that call and the summer break. Thomas and Alex had worked a bit longer and Pip had spend a good chunk of time at the orphanage and his other Uncles and Aunties until it was time to go.

When the day came to drive down, Philip was brimming with excitement. It was a six hour drive, so they left in the morning, but that didn’t stop Philip from pointing out everything he saw that he rarely saw otherwise.

Thomas thought it was kind of adorable and listening to his kid’s rambling calmed him as did Alex’s even breaths from where he was napping in the passenger seat.

About an hour and a half into the drive Alex woke up with a small yawn: “H’w lon’ was I out?”

“Not that long,” Thomas assured him, while Pip said: “It was soooo long Papa, you missed so much by being boring. We drove past horses a while ago.”

“Ah, maybe we’ll see more horses later and I can see them too,” Alex smiled, “Want a snack?”

“You have snacks?” both asked in a different tone, Thomas curious and Pip excited.

“Of course I have snacks,” Alex got boxes with sliced apples out the bag by his feet as well as juice boxes and a water bottle. He handed Philip a few slices, twisted the cap off the water and handed that to Thomas, before giving Philip a juice box once his hands were empty.

They switched two hours into the drive, then again two hours after that, so that Thomas was the one driving the last part. As they drove they played word games with Pip and sang music.

It felt a bit like a road trip movie and Thomas cheeks hurt a bit from the smiling by the time they pulled into the driveway.

Alex gaped at the building and said: “I knew your family was loaded, but holy fuck.”

Thomas snorted, he was kind of used to that with the mansion they lived in. It was built in colonial style and old, he didn’t even know how it had gotten into the family, but it had. The sides were covered in small white flowers and on the porch an older lady sat in a rocking chair, waiting for them.

“Da does your Ma live in a castle with a dragon?” Philip asked as Thomas unbuckled him, while Alex grabbed their bags.

“No dragon, I’m afraid,” Thomas chuckled. Then turned to his Ma, who was coming to meet them, he pulled her into a hug: “Hi Ma.”

“Tommy,” his Ma replied, holding him tight, before letting him go and saying, “Aren’t you going to help your boyfriend unpack. I didn’t raise you like that.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Thomas rolled his eyes, taking a few bags from the back, smiling comforting at Alex. He knew that if he had unpacked first, she would have scolded him for letting her stand there. His Ma showed affection through toughness, it had taken a long while for him to see that.

Philip stared at this new lady with interest. She was older and darker than his Da, but she had the same eyes and grace to her. When she saw Philip staring she smiled: “And who is this young gentleman here?”

“I’m Philip, Philip Hamilton, it’s nice to meet you, Ma’am,” he stuck out his hand.

“How polite,” the lady smiled, “I’m Jane Jefferson, but you can just call me Mawmaw.”

“Mawmaw Jane,” Philip nodded to himself, “It’s nice to meet you. Do you own the house? Da says it doesn’t have a dragon, but it looks like it has a dragon.”

She chuckled: “No dragon, no. The most fierce beast you’ll find in there is Sir Poof, the cat.”

Philip pouted while Thomas grinned: “I take it none of my sisters are home, then.”

“Don’t get cocky, young man. Mary’s coming later. Now, I think there is someone you have to introduce me to, hm?” she replied.

Alex had been keeping himself on the background. No matter what he had said to Thomas, he was pretty nervous and wanted Thomas’s mother to like him, to like Pip. So he startled slightly when Thomas said: “Yes, Ma, this is Alex. Alex, this is my mother.”

“Hi, Ma’am,” he greeted, voice a bit higher than normal, “I’m Alexander, Alexander Hamilton, it’s an honor to meet you.”

“Jane Jefferson, same to you,” she smiled, she could see that the man was nervous meeting her, but she noted with amusement how both father and son had introduced themselves the same. It was clear who had taught the boy that.

“We got you these, Mrs. Jefferson,” Alex handed her the bonbons they had gotten her. Alex had wanted to buy flowers, but those would have gotten ruined during the ride, so instead they had gotten bonbons.

“How sweet, but none of that Mrs. Jefferson stuff. Call me Ma or Jane, alright?” she told him, taking the bonbons, “These are nice, thank you.”

“It- I- Thank you for your hospitality, Jane” Alex rubbed the back of his head.

Thomas watched quite amazed at this Alex. He had never seen this version of his boyfriend before. This Alex was awkward and unsure of what to do next, while also painfully polite. He decided to step in and save him: “We really appreciate the invitation, Ma.”

“Of course, of course it’s good to see you again, here I’ll show you where Philip can sleep, you two will share your old room,” Jane picked up on Thomas’s action.

They gathered their stuff and brought it to their rooms. Thomas’s old room was at the end of the right hall and Philip was staying in the guest room opposite of it, which Alex was grateful for as they set down their bags.

“You okay?” Thomas checked.

“Yeah, just more nervous than expected,” Alex admitted, “What if she doesn’t like me?”

“She will, I promise. You’re great and Pip is a sweetheart, she’s been excited about you two ever since she heard about you,” Thomas assured him.

“You think so?” Alex asked.

“I know so,” Thomas replied, hoping he wouldn’t have to come back on that, “Come, I’m sure you’d like something to drink.”

“Lord help me through this,” Alex sighed taking Thomas’s hand and allowing the soft squeeze Thomas gave to calm him.

“It’s gonna be fine.”

“Sorry, I know, I know, just scared it will go wrong, but I’ll be fine, really,” Alex said, unsure of who he was trying to convince, “Let’s just go drink something.”

Thomas held his hand all the way to the front porch, where Jane was sitting with Philip, cat on her lap. Alex could see from the way he sat that Philip was telling one of his many fantasy tales, while also trying to drink from a huge glass of lemonade with a straw in it.

Alex nodded a greeting to Jane when she noticed him, then ruffled Philip’s hair: “Hey, buddy, have you been nice?”

“Yes, Papa, I’ve been telling Mawmaw Jane about the Ranger Apprenticethat me and Da have been reading and aboutGeorge the Glitter Glue Man,” Philip told him with a grin.

“How nice Pip, have you thanked your Mawmaw for the lemonade?” he asked.

“I have,” Philip assured him.

Jane confirmed: “He has, you’ve raised such a polite young man.”

“Thank you, it helps that he’s a sweet kid,” Alex smiled, talking about Pip was easy, he could do that in his sleep.

“He sure is, ain’t you, Philly,” she smiled to the boy, “Really, I’m afraid what Francie and Kitty’ll do to him.”

“Francie and Kitty?” Philip asked.

“My nieces, my second oldest sister’s twins,” Thomas explained, “She’s the only one of my siblings who had kids and they have been spoiled into oblivion by all their Aunts and Uncles.”

“They’re lovely ladies, don’t let Tommy get into your head,” Jane assured him, “They just have active imaginations.”

Alex didn’t want to blame two little girls for how Philip would act, but he also didn’t want to paint Philip to be a bad kid, so he just said: “Well, Pip has a very active imagination himself, so they’ll probably get along.”

“Am I going to meet them?” Philip asked.

“Probably, Mary said she’d come,” Jane assured him, “Now while my son gives our guest something to drink,” it was a bit pointed, “why don’t you tell me more about this Glitter Glue Man. What was his name again?”

“George,” Philip supplied helpfully, before retelling his heroic death by glitter bullet and his subsequent confetti revival by Theo.

Thomas took Alex to the kitchen and poured him a glass of lemonade as well with a small: “Homemade, Ma’s famous for it.”

Alex took an appreciative sip and said: “It’s delicious.”

“Ma’s lemonade is the best,” Thomas told him proudly.

“I get why,” Alex smiled, relaxing somewhat.

They returned to the porch and sat with them, Alex softly complimenting the lemonade, before listening to Philip talk. Alex felt slightly bad about clinging to Philip’s charms, but he cut himself a bit of slack.

When Philip had finished his story, he took a pause to drink some more and Thomas took that opportunity to ask: “Who’s coming?”

“Well, Mary and her girls are coming, her husband couldn't make it,” Jane said, then she went down the list, “Small Jane said maybe, but she had business,Martha, Peter probably not, Abby said no, Lucy maybe, Anna most likely, Randolph yes.”

“So only Randy and Mary are coming?” Thomas summarized.

“Yeah.”

“Wait, is there another Jane? Why is she called Small Jane?” Philip spoke up.

“It’s a family name, we call her Small Jane to keep track of which Jane we’re talking about,” Jane explained.

“That’s funny,” Philip said.

Alex was about to say something about the commentwhen Jane chuckled: “Ain’t it, Philly. Don’t you know someone who’s been named after someone else. Family does that from time to time, so that they can point and say; ‘hey that’s your namesake, ain’t that cool?’”

Philip thought for a second, then said: “Auntie Angie says Theo’s mom is also called Theo, but when I asked Theo, she says her name’s just mom. It’s confusing, but she can push really well on the swings.”

That made Jane laugh and she ruffled his hair and said: “We have a swing in the tree there.”

She pointed at a big tree and Philip’s eyes lit up and he looked back to Alex with big eyes. Alex smiled and said: “You can go swing if you want, just be careful. Want me to walk with you there?”

“I’m big, I can do that on my own,” Philip protested, but as he got off the bench, he did say, “Thank you, Papa.”

“Stay in sight?” Alex asked.

“I will,” Philip promised.

The three adults watched Philip bound over to the swings, then Jane turned her focus to Alex: “So, has my Tommy been treating you right?”

“Ma!” Thomas exclaimed, he had told her not to be embarrassing, not that he had expected her to listen, but still.

“Uh,” she shushed him with a finger, “I asked Alex a question, Tommy. I wanna know if you’re treating him right. So, Alex.”

Alex had expected a lot of questions, but not that one, so he floundered for a moment, before he found his words: “Yeah, yeah, it’s- it’s been good, he’s been good.”

“Yeah?” Jane nodded along with sharp eyes.

“Yeah,” Alex confirmed, “He’s a huge help with Pip and a great cook, actually. He also gets me flowers,” he couldn't have helped the smile on his face if he tried, “And I feel like we have great conversations.”

“Ahw, you love me,” Thomas grinned draping himself over Alex, it might have been an embarrassing question, but having Alex list off his good qualities in front of his Ma was an ego boost if he ever saw one.

“Like you didn’t know that, dork,” Alex attempted to push him off, but the push was light enough for Thomas to know that he didn’t mean it.

During the exchange Jane got an approving and pleased look on her face, before she moved on to the big hitters: “And what are your intentions with my son?”

Thomas gave her big ‘what are you doing?’- eyes.

However, Alex had gotten over his initial awkwardness and his usual way of words came back: “If I am honest, I would say grow old at some point. Though currently I am just enjoying spending time with him, figuring out what makes him smile, where I can step in like he does for me. Mostly, I just want to have the time to give him all flowers he deserves.”

It was quiet for a moment as Jane sized him up, then she grinned: “I can see why Tommy likes you, he’s also the wordy one around here.”

Alex chuckled, feeling a bit more at ease with that response: “The amount of wordy we both are has made our boss very tired on numerous occasions.”

“You can’t admit you’re wrong, that’s different, darlin’,” Thomas felt the need to point out.

Did Alex know he was sitting in front of his maybe one day mother-in-law? Yes. Could he let Thomas win this argument even though responding would prove his point? No.

“I know when to admit defeat, you just don’t have sound arguments. There’s a difference, okay?” he shot back, “And no, I will not side with you on the chicken-egg debate, picking chicken is stupid and you’re just saying it because I think it’s egg.”

“It’s chicken, cause it lays the egg, Alex, it’s just nature.”

“Other animals lay eggs. Fish lay eggs and fish were the first living beings almost ever,” Alex told him, unable to let it go, “Dinosaurs laid eggs too, they were before chickens.”

“But we’re talking about chicken eggs, only chickens can lay those, therefore there has to be a chicken to lay it.”

“One, saying therefore doesn’t make your argument better. Two, you never clarified we were talking about chicken eggs, therefore you can not suddenly introduce that as a rule for the discussion and your argument falls away.”

“What was that about therefore?” Thomas grinned.

“Okay, gentlemen, chicken, eggs, interesting,” Jane cut them both off, she’d had to sit to too many Christmases when Martha was still around for her to know that Thomas wasn’t going to stop.

“Sorry, Ma’a- Ma,” Alex corrected himself last minute.

“Which side are you on?” Thomas had never not involved everyone to get on his side and he wasn’t letting his Ma off the hook.

“Alex’s, your argument is stupid,” she deadpanned, noting Alex’s shit eating grin to Thomas as she did, “What I’m more interested in is how you’ve been. The last time I saw you was last year during the summer and I appreciate the calls, but face to face, talk to me. How have you been? Your job okay? DoI need to have words with Washington?”

“No, Ma, Washington is still a good boss,” Thomas assured her, “And I’ve been doing great, I picked up reading poetry again and I have just been enjoying the small things, they make life great, you know?”

Jane smiled at the last part: “Good to see you finally having a bit of joy in your life. You always had that weight on your shoulders, it’s nice to see it gone for a change.”

“It’s nice to have it gone, Ma,” Thomas agreed, while Alex contended himself with listening, “But how have you been Ma? Not lonely out here?”

“Nah, Mary and the kids visit often, they at least do,” she said, “It’s good to have some life in this house, you know. Keeps me young. And I’ve been going to the market. Joe from the farm down by the church says hi along with Father Adam.”

“And the knitting club?” he asked.

“You know how that is. Though last time Janet brought store bought cookies, so we don’t know if anything’s going on there, but we’re keeping our eyes on her.”

“Nothing too bad, I hope.”

Jane leaned in conspiratorially and said: “Nah, Dixie saw her in the park with a handsome looking man. We think she’s having an affair.”

“Oh no, really? Janet?” Thomas gasped and Jane nodded in return: “Uh-huh, let me tell you,” then she caught up the both of them on the local gossip with names Thomas nodded at and Alex had never heard before. After that they moved on to just daily life stuff.

At some point Philip came back from the swings, confidently stating: “I think there are fairies living in the tree, the leaves speak.”

“Really, buddy?” Alex asked, hoping Jane wouldn’t judge him for indulging his son’s imagination, since he said other – weirder –stuff like this.

“Yeah, just like in that book Auntie Eliza always reads to me,” Philip explained.

“Well, I never noticed them, but maybe you can tell me more about them while we cook,” Jane told him, getting up, “We’re making fried chicken and I hear from your Papa that you’ve been helping him out in the kitchen. Would you like to learn a bit more?”

“I would love that!” Philip exclaimed, clapping his hands, before taking Jane’s and following her into the house.

Thomas turned to Alex with a big grin and sparkling eyes. Alex looked confused and asked: “What? What does that look mean?”

“She likes Pip,” he explained, “Her asking help with cooking is the number one compliment or acknowledgment you can get from her. We’re killing this.”

“Really?” relief flooded through his system.

“Yeah, welcome to the family, darling.”

~~~~~~~~~

A/N:

I made up the nieces, bc I’m not researching family trees for a fic that has gotten too far out of hand already, okay, not doing it.

As for the others I didn’t try and figure out any of the family’s personalities or actual lives, if you’re looking for accuracy a fanfic is not the place to find it. Same forin the next chapter, have no expectations on that front.

Also, yes, I am passionate about the chicken-egg discussion and I am pro egg, you can fight me.

[carmensandiego-dreams-collection]

I completely forgot to say anything about Mystère au bout du monde, the most Game I’ve ever sat through. My full review of it below the cut:

-Everyone in the older Carmen fandom has said that this game is the worst, so naturally I had to go see for myself -It’s a sort-of reboot of Treasures of Knowledge but all the changes it’s made are bad, if it were a movie it’d be a direct-to-video sequel that you’d find in a walmart bargain bin -Shadow Hawkins is now Adam Shadow, and is now an asshole weirdo

-There’s a scene in the Louvre where he’s told not to touch anything and he IMMEDIATELY goes to pick up an ancient statue barehanded because he thinks it’s broken. The museum curator yells at him and tells him it was discovered in that state. It was the only funny joke in the game

-Jules picks Adam on purpose to be her partner but does nothing but rag on him the whole game. She’s also weirdly abrasive at times

-Neither of them are all that likeable in this, to be perfectly honest. Treasures had awkward moments, sure, but Jules and Hawkins were still fun and their rapport with other characters was interesting, especially with Jules and Carmen. This had absolutely none of that, everyone’s an asshole for some reason

-Everyone’s outfit/hair/aesthetics just......sucks shit, there is no nice way of putting it. Like I made fun of Jules’ character design a while ago but there’s MORE you guys, there’s more

-The plaid turtleneck. The JC Penny statement necklace. The high heeled leather boots. The skinny jeans. The hair. The clownishly proportioned women’s jacket. God.

-What the fuck is going on with this shirt??? the sleeves????

-I have a new drawing challenge that I’m proposing right now: take ANY outfit from this game and try to redesign it to be good.

-Some of the art looks unfinished, too, like nobody inked it properly and they just rushed sketches out to ship with the game

-It’s a personal gripe, but IDK why every reboot/reference to TOK feels like it needs to make Jules pointedly not-butch? CS2019 is light-years ahead of this game but it’s sort of guilty too

-Wow Shadow, your partner looks GNC af

-I think the only game that doesn’t do this is Hidden Drums?

-Adam’s outfits are better, but they’re still kinda bland.

-They took away all of his pockets. Fuck you. I hate you

-Shadow needs to look like a 7 year old boy that was allowed to dress himself at all times, you can’t do this, game

-The artstyle in general is also super awkward, the expressions look awful. A collection my favorites:

-There’s this weird love square going on?????? There’s no development for it, but it’s there regardless:

There’s this weird redditor/incel-type guy working in the lab who gives off Viktor from Despicable Me vibes. He constantly flirts with Jules but Jules isn’t into him, and he’s also relentlessly passive-aggressive towards Adam and hazes him because he probably thinks Adam is a Chad because Jules likes him more

Adam also constantly makes passes at Jules but she’s also not that into it, except when she is?? Half the time she brushes him off, but then she’ll turn around and flirt with him. I think the writers were trying to do that thing where a woman plays “hard to get”, except no woman ever has acted like that

I guarantee this was written by men

People call Jules and Adam up and they’re like “haha don’t get too distracted by each other you lovebirds” but they’ve only know each other for like two days max, what are they talking about

You think this shit is over, but then Carmen shows up in the ring with a steel chair and is like “Oh Jules, I find Adam attractive as well, oh hohoho! :3″ and you have to sit there and take it

I’m not really one to have strong feelings about “ships” either way, but honestly the aggressive attempt to remove the personal connection Jules and Carmen had in the first game and redirect it to be a fight over some Bland Dude is an act of homophobia, I’m sorry fjkdsl;afd

Thankfully none of this goes anywhere, but it’s uncomfortable nonetheless

- Carmen is barely in this game for some reason? The first time we see her in at least 20-30 minutes into the playthrough

-There also.... hints of racism? Like, all of the non-white people are sort of unhelpful, and there’s a moment where Carmen steals a mask from a Maasai Tribe and one dude sees her doing it, and instead of stopping her he’s like “her willpower and coat of red fire hypnotized me, so I came her to warn you instead”

- :/ idk man

-anyway, it turns out that all the items Carmen has been stealing are embedded with...microchips? And that when put together they lead to....atlantis??

-like, the honest to god atlantis

-ACME finally puts all the chips together and find the map, but then Carmen hacks in and get the map

-They race to an island that I guess does have the doorway to Atlantis, but right as Adam is about to catch Carmen, Jules falls off a cliff and has to be rescued

- To imply that this is a tense moment, rather than play intense music or have additional art with dialogue, the game instead flashes between these two images as fast as possible in dead silence

-Then, instead of addressing that the game just implied that Atlantis exists in this world, the game ends before we actually get to see Carmen, or even if there’s anything on the island

-After all is said and done, this game was entertaining to watch. I love bad media so much, although it’s a piss-poor game if you actually want something good about the characters. I’m hoping the recent show will spur HMH/Netflix to maaaaybe make another game, although who knows.

-A big thank you to fycarmensandiego for posting the walkthrough on youtube, I’m not sure if I could have sat through this on my own. If you like Carmen stuff, or would like to play this game yourself, you can check out their blog here on tumblr, they’ve done a lot of neat archival and emulation work!

[poetic-emptiness-fanfic]

Livin’ La Vida Loca (Echoes of the Past 15: Freebie!)

Finally it is finished! I had an irritating writing block, but I’m happy it’s over now. This fic sets during the plague, when Hande is apprenticing with Julian.

The name of this fic is from a song Livin’ La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin

Characters: Hande Kuura & Julian Devorak

Content warning: some profanities

Words: ~3 250

@arcana-echoes

It has been a long day at the clinic – lots of patients and lots of research. Julian is tired and he can see that his apprentice is as well. She tries to put on a brave face, but he can see that she's very tense – has she had any chance to relax? They have been working together for five months, but Julian has only seen Hande at work. He has learned that Hande is extremely conscientious, fast learner and she really cares for the patients. He has also found out, that like him, Hande loves reading and it is fun to discuss about different books during their lunch breaks. Julian has grown to like her, and even see her as his friend – the busy days feel less tiring with her around.

After locking the door behind the last patient, Julian turns to Hande and smiles at her, ”Well, that was a busy one. Great work – I can't even realise how I did manage before you tagged along!” Hande chuckles to Julian's praises and shrugs, ”Thanks, but it's not just me – you really are a spectacular doctor, believe it or not.” Julian blushes by the compliment, but Hande is too polite to point it out. She just pats her teacher's hardel and goes to change to her everyday clothes. While Julian is in the other room changing himself he ponders if he should ask Hande out. They are practically colleagues and they're also friends, so it wouldn't be inappropriate. He also has a feeling that Hande is quite lonely, with her family and friends in Karnassos.

”Hey, Hande?” Julian shouts to his apprentice so she could hear her, ”Would you mind if I took you somewhere? Erm, to let our hair down, so to speak?” The doctor hears only silence for a moment, before Hande's voice echoes from another room, ”No, I wouldn't mind, that sounds nice.” Julian lets out a relieved sigh and his lips twitch into a small smile, ”Great! I can offer you something to eat as a thank you, if you wish?” He hears Hande coming back to the office while she hums in affirmative. After Julian's done, he goes to the office and sees Hande opening her hair which is tied into a French twist. Her hair is pretty long, he notes, settling to the level of her waist. Stop gawking! That's inappropriate!

Hande turns to look at Julian, looking a little embarrassed, ”I don't want to keep the same hairstyle during my free time, otherwise I'd never let go of the work stuff. It probably sounds silly...” Julian gives Hande a friendly smile and shakes his head, ”No, it doesn't sound silly at all. It's good you have ways to avoid thinking about work during your free time.” Hande smiles back, separates her hair in two parts and starts to braid the other half. Julian is looking at her procedure and his curiosity takes over, ”Uhm, may I ask what are you going to do?” Hande glances at Julian before she turns back and continues braiding, ”I'm going to make two braids and pull them over my head, like a headband. Then no one gets the opportunity to try and pull my hair.” Julian seems to think for a moment and before he can reconsider he asks, ”Do you... Do you want me to braid the other half? It'd be faster that way.” Hande turns to face Julian, looking surprised, but also a little amused, her eyebrows raising. Before Hande can say anything Julian blurts, ”Uhm, I can braid... I have a little sister... I used to braid her hair sometimes.”

Hande's eyes widen for a little moment – she didn't expect to hear something like that. She recovers from her shock quickly and beckons Julian to come closer. Julian understands that Hande has accepted his offer and tentatively starts to braid her hair. It feels slippery and soft in his hands – completely different than Pasha's hair. ”Tell me about her. Your sister, I mean,” Hande asks silently after a moment of silence. Julian chuckles and starts to tell while braiding, ”Her name is Pasha. She's three years older than you and we grew up in Nevivon together...” He continues telling about his sister while they are working on Hande's hairstyle. Hande looks satisfied and compliments Julian's work which causes the poor doctor to blush again. When the duo is ready Julian dramatically offers his arm to Hande, who laughs and with an exaggerated curtsey takes it. ”Well, Doctor Devorak, show me the way!”

***

Hande looks curiously at the sign above her head: The Rowdy Raven. She has never been here before and she's curious to see it. The place seems to be a tavern, but it looks rather cozy when she peeks through the window. Still, she can't help feeling a little nervous – what if she ends up being too obviously out of place? Well, fortune favors the brave, as they say... Hande lets Julian lead her into the tavern. They're welcomed with loud laughter and music playing in the background – there's a band playing in a corner. That makes Hande feel herself more at home, if you could call a tavern a home.

The young woman looks around her. There are locals and people from abroad, all of them having a good time chatting or playing cards with each other. People who notice her and Julian entering turn to greet her teacher with joy on their faces. Hande tenses a little, because it is clear, that Julian is very popular person in here, and Hande is... Well, she's here for the first time in her life, although she's lived in Vesuvia for almost a year. Julian squeezes Hande with his arm reassuringly, ”I'd get us some food and drinks. Do you have any wishes?” Hande looks a little pensive, but she decides it's better to speak than stay silent. ”Uhm... Are there... Are there any non-alcoholic drinks? I'm a teetotaler...” she whispers uncertainly.

Julian freezes on the spot. Shit. Congratulations, you've fucked up and brought a teetotaler to a tavern.. You idiot... His faces turns red again and he sputters, ”I-I'm sorry! I didn't know that...” Hande notices Julian's panicking and hurries to assuring him, ”No, no, it's fine! I don't mind others drinking, well at least if they're not steaming... I've just never amused to drink alcohol myself... It isn't because of any belief, if that's any comfort...” Julian is surprised, how Hande is nervous about his reaction, and can't help but smile to her, ”No, you don't need to worry! I don't mind at all, and you're not obliged to explain your reasons, if you don't want to. There should be also some non-alcoholic drinks, so no harm done.” Hande smiles to him thankfully which makes Julian a little giddy. No, concentrate. Go and order your food and drinks!

Hande waits by a table when Julian gives their orders to a barkeeper. The young woman glances around, observing other patrons curiously, wondering where some of them might come from. Soon Julian comes back with their drinks. ”Barth said he'll bring the food soon,” he says, handing her a glass with lime green liquid in it. ”I hope you like this one, I wasn't quite sure what to get,” Julian says, looking a little embarrassed. Hande smiles at him reassuringly and takes a little sip from her drink. It's suitably sweet with citrus aroma – probably lemon and lime combined. ”This is so good! Dr. Devorak, how did you manage to choose a drink I like so much?” Hande asks sounding impressed, which makes the poor Julian to blush again. ”Well, erm... I wish I could say it was intuition, but... uhm... I remember how you once told me you like lemons so...” the man stammers. Now it's Hande's turn to get embarrassed; she doesn't blush visibly, but she can feel her cheeks burn. Julian remembers random things I've mentioned to him? ”You're way too good friend for me... I really am flattered, that you remember my ramblings.”

A little later Barth, the barkeeper, brings their meals in front of them and they eat in comfortable silence, sometimes asking or commenting something. Hande finds the tavern's atmosphere a little rowdy, but not hostile, and she feels more at ease. It's nice to spend time with Julian and see him outside of their work. Suddenly Hande's concentration turns to a discussion a few tables away. There are four men discussing in a foreign language which Hande recognises as Hjallean. She gets excited – she hasn't met any people from her mother's hometown for a long time. She apologises Julian and turns to face the men, ”Förlåt mig. Är ni från Hjalle?¹” The men turn to face Hande, looking positively surprised, ”Ja. Hur kan du tala hjalska, är du från där också?²” Hande smiles and answers, ”Jag föddes i Karnassos. Min mamma är från Hjalle, men hon tillhör Skogsfolket.³” The quintet continues their excited conversation. Julian smiles and watches how Hande speaks fluently in Hjallean, and listens when she finds out that the men are sailors and actually know her grandfather. Hande seems so happy to hear from her family that Julian can feel it, too. He also can't help, but to miss his own family a little.

A little later Julian also joins the conversation which causes the men and Hande to cheer in surprise. The group has a friendly conversation and orders drinks to each other, until the band starts to play a Hjallean folk song which causes the sailors and Hande to sing along. Julian can't help but notice how Hande's voice is clear and beautiful, echoing above hollering of the sailors. To be entirely honest, Julian is mesmerized my her voice – she sounds like a siren, without ill intent, of course. After the song had ended, the sailors cheer to Hande, who looks a little humbled after getting that much attention, but still has a small smile on her face. The band's leader shouts to their table, ”Since the miss sang so beautifully, you can decide our next song!” Hande glances at Julian with a confused expression on her face. Julian just smiles to her encouragingly and winks. Hande smirks and states, ”I will decide, but on one condition: I get to play it, too.”

The band leader looks curious, ”Can the miss play, as well?” Hande nods and answers, ”Yes, I can play the fiddle. I've had lessons since I was a little girl.” The other band members grin and the fiddler steps up, handing their instrument to Hande. She stands up and walks to the corner, inspecting the fiddle for a moment. After she's satisfied, she tunes the instrument and asks, ”Do you know this song?” Hande plays a little part as a sample and the band leader chuckles and agrees. The leader gives a mark about starting the song and Hande joins the band. Julian is awed: this woman doesn't have a single drop of alcohol in her, and she still is having the time of her life. Joyful, wonderful singer and player even – and she's never mentioned any of that to him. This fascinating combination of humbleness and showmanship. Julian watches how Hande's fingers move on the fiddle, how concentrated she is. The song is a little melancholic, but still eventful and fast. The world seems to disappear: there's only music and Hande.

The enchantment is broken when the song ends. Hande remembers where she is and is a little flabbergasted by her courage, but is happy that she played. She doesn't remember when was the last time she had this much fun – in Julian's company she feels at ease, like her old self is coming back to life after so many years. Hande turns to see Julian who is cheering and applauding to them with the others at the tavern. The band leader thanks her when she gives the fiddle back to its owner and returns to her companion. ”Wow... I didn't know you could sing or play!” Julian compliments when she sits down. Hande lowers her gaze for a moment, but soon looks up and shrugs, ”Well... You don't need singing or playing when you're trying to be a doctor's apprentice. To be honest, complimenting myself is really hard for me, and I got this temporary moment of courage. I haven't played in front of an audience for years.” Julian smiles to Hande and feels warmth inside of him – he isn't sure if it's because of alcohol or his company. Concentrate. She's your apprentice. Julian clears his throat and speaks again, ”Did you like it? Playing in front of an audience, I mean.” Hande seems pensive before she gives a hesitant answer, ”Yes.”

Before Julian can say or do anything else, one of the sailors cut in. ”You should be proud of yourself, you really did great back there! Was that a Forestian song? I recognised it, but I'm not sure.” Hande turns to face the sailors and nods, ”Yes. I was surprised the band knew it, but it was fun. Karnassian music is much more popular, so it's nice to hear Hjallean ones for a change.” The group continues their conversation, but Julian is mostly concentrated on Hande. When they are telling about their work to the sailors, Julian, now a little tipsy, tells in surprising excitement, ”Yes... But you know what? Hande here, she... She can do MAGIC!” Hande doesn't have time to react before the sailors gasp in excitement and plead her to show them. Julian now realises he might have screwed up and tries to come to her rescue, but Hande speaks after a little silence, ”Would you like to hear a story? I can illustrate it with magic.” The sailors and even Julian show their enthusiasm for the idea. One of the sailors suggest a scary story and Hande proceeds, telling a Karnassian story about a jinn who fell in love with a human, but in time the human went mad for being so close to the jinn.

Probably for the first time in his life, Julian is awed by seeing magic. The light figures dancing in the air while Hande tells the story such a fascinating way make Julian feel giddy, almost like a child again. Being with Hande here and how... radiant she is, it's nearly overwhelming. The story is indeed scary, but he can't help but smile at her, and his heart jumps when Hande gives him a little smile back with her sparkling eyes. Other patrons have also gathered around watching the spectacle and shower Hande with compliments after the story is over. The sailors try to ask her to tell another, but Hande chuckles, ”I'm sorry, guys, but magic can be very taxing and I don't want to exhaust myself after a long day.” The sailors groan in disappointment, but still pat Hande on her shoulders, buying her one more drink. Julian hasn't bought any more drinks, because he tries not to get steaming, like Hande had expressed earlier – he doesn't want to make Hande feel uncomfortable. The music is compelling and he'd like to ask Hande to dance, but isn't sure if it's appropriate.

After a short internal debate, his reason seems to leave him, when Hande turns to look at him. Julian hasn't noticed it before, but now Hande's eyes look so beautiful, almost like the deep, blue water. His body starts to move on its own: he reaches his hand towards Hande, palm up and his mouth opens before he can think of it, ”Oh, miss Kuura... Would you like to have a dance with me?” Hande watches Julian's hand and laughs goodheartedly to his dramatic request. Julian is pretty sure Hande's thinking is pretending, but he still feels a little nervous. Finally Hande decides to save her teacher, ”Yes, I'd like that. Though, I must warn you, I haven't danced for a long time. I might be quite rusty.” Julian just chuckles and reassures his apprentice by saying that she'll be fine. Hande smiles to Julian again and gives her hand to him.

Julian places his hand on Hande's waist chastely and leads her to dance. His apprentice is a little tense at first, probably because they're first time this close to each other and because she is nervous about her dancing skills. ”Just relax, I got you,” Julian whispers to Hande, smiling to her reassuringly. Hande takes a deep breath and nods, trying to smile back, although the final result is a little lopsided. The current song is quite fast, just perfect for Julian. He guides Hande who seems to trust him enough and let the music, rhythm and Julian lead her. After a moment she relaxes and the dance feels more natural. Julian enjoys being this close to Hande, seeing her feeling comfortable in his arms. She's so vibrant, so beautiful... I haven't noticed it before. Julian tries to shake off his thoughts and have a little conversation with his apprentice, complimenting her dancing and telling how nice the evening has been. Hande smiles to him which makes him feel weak in his knees. She enjoys my company, her laughter, so full of joy. It almost makes me forget the current situation...

The dance is enchanting and Julian wants the moment to never end. The band starts to play a different song, much more speedy than the last one. This causes Julian to get an idea. He faces Hande with a little smirk on his face. ”Hande, do you trust me?” he asks. Hande looks at Julian a little hesitant, but then lets out a little laugh, ”Yes, I do trust you, Julian. But please, don't kill me.” Hande's last remark causes Julian to bark a laughter and whisper into her ear, ”I wouldn't dream of it.” He tightens his grip of Hande and leads her to the outskirts of the dance floor. Hande only gets a little warning to brace herself, before Julian lifts her, so she's now standing on a chair, and he soon follows suit. Then he rises on a longer table, taking Hande with her. She lets out a surprised yelp, but recovers soon. ”Why, Julian, are you suggesting, that we'd dance on the table?” Hande whispers her question, and Julian can hear her mischievous tone. Oh gods, she's a treasure.

Julian's smirk gets wider and he twirls Hande around before starting to dance properly. The band speeds up and patrons cheer to the duo while some of them try to save their pints. None of the things on the table gets knocked – Hande lets Julian lead her and he's done this before so he is very confident with his partner. The Rowdy Raven is filled with music, cheering and Hande's and Julian's laughter. Suddenly Hande takes the charge and dips Julian in the middle of the table, making him grab Hande for his life. Now it's Hande's turn to smirk and she leans in to whisper to Julian, ”Thank you, Julian. I didn't realise I needed this.” Julian blushes, but manages to give Hande a bashful smile, when Hande lifts him up and they continue their dance. Julian forgets everyone else and just gaze at Hande mesmerized, feeling happy for the first time for gods know how long. This intelligent, warm-hearted and beautiful person is dancing with him, smiling at him.

Oh shit. I think I have a crush.  

TRANSLATIONS:

¹ ”Excuse me. Are you from Hjalle?

² ”Yes. How can you talk Hjallean, are you from there, too?”

³ ”I was born in Karnassos. My mom is from Hjalle, but she belongs to Forest people.”

My AO3

[howlingday]

Jaune: Oof...

Whitely: What are you up to, Mr. Arc?

Jaune: I'm trying to learn old Atlesian so I can fit in better with your family. Some of this stuff is hard, though.

Whitely: I suppose I could help you with the more... advanced sentences.

Jaune: Really? That would help me out so much!

Whitely: Of course! Anything for a friend of the family.

Jaune: So, what did you have in mind?

Whitely: Well, some compliments will be a good start. I'll teach you how to say simple phrases to make yourself appear more gentlemanly around our family.

Jaune: Great! Thanks, Whitely! I owe you one!

Jaune: Think nothing of it. After all, I only want the best for you.

THAT NIGHT, AT DINNER

Whitely: (Taps glass) Everyone, Jaune has something to say. Jaune, if you would.

Jaune: (Stands up, Clears his throat) Um, ja, uh, guten abend. (Clears his throat) So, uh, I've been trying to learn old Atlesian so that I could get to know you all better, since you've all become like a second family to me. So, I've been studying really hard, and I learned some compliments to say, if I could.

Willow: Well, don't hold back on our account, dear. (Gestures with her hand) Bitte...

Jaune: Alright. (Clears his throat)

Whitely: This term is for my mother, so try to say it with the most confidence and respect you can.

Jaune: Okay, so what is it?

Whitely: It's "Would you like some tea, Mrs. Schnee?"

Jaune: Oh, I see! To butter her up!

Whitely: Exactly! So say it like-

Jaune: (Gestures to Willow) Haste bock auf dübeln?

Weiss: (Facepalms) Fick mit!

Winter: (Wide-eyed) Wie bitte?

Willow: (Drinks from her glass) Nein, dankë.

Jaune: Bitteschön! (Reads from his note cards) Um, uh, Winter!

Winter: Oh, nein...

Jaune: So, what should I say to your oldest sister?

Whitely: As I'm sure you know, my sister is a hardened soldier. She takes no nonsense, on or off the battlefield. But, I know her secret.

Jaune: Her secret?

Whitely: Yes. (Places a hand over his chest) Deep inside her hardened exterior tested by the mettle of war, lies the pure, innocent heart of a maiden.

Jaune: (Writing notes furiously) Really?

Whitely: (Nods) Indeed. So, you must be gentle with her by first asking, "Are you well, tonight?" Or-

Jaune: (Proudly) Lass uns mal fesselspiele austesten? (Winter's mouth is agape) Mach's schon schneller und härter! Fick mich durch. (Whitely chuckles into his hand, Weiss' head is on the table) Und Weiss!

Weiss: (Groans, Willow is now chugging her wine bottle) Nein, bitte!

Jaune: Weiss is gonna be hard to please.

Whitely: Why do you say that?

Jaune: I went through Beacon with her, and if I'm being honest, I still have a huge crush on her.

Whitely: Ah, that could be a problem. But, luckily for you, you can use that to your advantage. You know Weiss better than most, so tell me what you'd say to her if she were interested?

Jaune: (Eyes closed in thought) I guess... I'd tell her that I would do anything for her.

Whitely: (Smiles) Well, my friend, it just so happens I have just the phrase for you. It literally means, "I would storm the castle gates for you."

Jaune: Wow... (Excited) How do I say it?!

Whitely: All you have to say is-

Jaune: (Hand on his chest, Romantic tone as possible) Ich hole meine handschellen.

Weiss: (Red-faced, Stands up and screams) HALT'S MAUL! Spinnst du oder was?! (Grabs her hair, Whitely laughs his ass off) Ich kann's nicht-!

Willow: (Drunk) Weiss! Whitely! Schluss damit! (Weiss stops, Whitely sighs)

Winter: (Walks to her mother) Come, mother. Let's get you to bed. (They leave)

Whitely: (Stands up and follows) Pardon me, but I must help my mother.

Weiss: (Glares at Jaune) What the fuck was that?! Do you have any idea what you just said?!

Jaune: Um... Compliments?

Weiss: For Yang, maybe! But what you said to my mother and my sister and me! (Covers her face with her hands) Brothers only know what you'd say about Whitely!

Jaune: Oh, he said there was no need for me to compliment him. He's just too modest for that!

Weiss: Wait... (Lifts her head from her hands) When did he tell you that?

Jaune: After he told me what to say tonight. Why, did I get something wrong?

Weiss: (Eye twitches) Oh, I see. Well, Jaune, next time you need a tutor, ask either myself, Winter, my mother, or, if he's available, Klein! Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to have a word with my brother. (Storms off)

Jaune: ...Was it something I said?

@glyndasmutwitch Did I get this right? I'm not very good at German, but I had this book of advanced German I wanted to use, and since there's this trend of "Old Atlesian is German" going around, I thought I'd give it a try.

[shijiujun]

be your light (and that’s all i want)

Chusheng’s first instinct always is to make sure Lu Yao is safe, even if it means putting himself between danger and his San Tu.

Lu Yao is not happy about having to face the possibility of Chusheng dying so often.

--

For @untamedweiying who asked:  Remember when Chusheng and Lu Yao were being chased by a car through the whole city, and then Chusheng was like "let's greet this motherfuckers" and stepped out, and Lu Yao went like "NO" and wouldn't let him go and legit pictured the scene of Chusheng getting shot by a Gatling gun and being unable to do anything about it . Like the honest concern and the "if you die I have no idea what I would do" in that moment, and then it was ???? Never addressed again?

--

Lu Yao is glad that real life doesn’t imitate movies, because for a moment, he was so sure that men in black with guns would come falling out of the car and shoot at Chusheng and then him. The fear that sank into his bones as the images, ridiculous as they were, played on the insides of his eyeballs, crippled him, and all Lu Yao could do is put his hand over his mouth and gasp as the doors to the other car opened.

Of course, in the end, it turned out to be just Tong Li, Youning’s arch nemesis.

As Chusheng dallies with Tong Li, a stupid, dumb smile on his face, Lu Yao tries to calm his racing heart.

The first thing he thought earlier as the car sped down the streets and then got stuck in this alley, was simply-

What is he going to do if Qiao Chusheng dies?

Lu Yao shudders, then shakes his head and slaps the both of his hands over each side of his cheeks, trying to wake himself up. Maybe he’s just hungry and his brain is malfunctioning. Did he get enough sleep last night? Probably not.

What the hell is wrong with you, a voice in the back of his head chides.

The thought is put out of his head for the rest of the day, especially after the snack he has with Chusheng where they plot to keep their cooperation with Tong Li from Youning.

Hours later in bed, Lu Yao’s mind inevitably returns to the thought of Chusheng dying before him. His hand clench around his pillow tighter, the scene replaying in his head on loop.

If Qiao Chusheng really, if he really left, how would he feel?

Chusheng and Youning are his only friends in Shanghai, and well, of course he doesn’t dislike Youning, even if they banter and fight all the time. Chusheng, however, Lao Qiao?

Lu Yao can’t quite put into words what he feels for the man. Friendship seem like an understatement. Describing them as brothers doesn’t feel right either, because Lu Yao has seen some of the brothers that the man talks about, and Chusheng sure doesn’t treat him the way he treats them.

He only has to ask for Chusheng to give him what he wants. Lu Yao only has to frown, pout or sulk once, and Chusheng will be turning around to ask him what’s wrong. He only has to look at a food stall and Chusheng is there, amused and expectant, knowing exactly what Lu Yao wants to do. The only person who would tell him to go and hide while he deals with danger and threat head on, then coming back to find Lu Yao when it’s safe.

Chusheng is the only person who cares about Lu Yao above himself, in a way that no one has since his mother passed away. The only person who would believe him unconditionally, the thought of Lu Yao betraying him never once coming to mind.

Whatever it is, the last thing Lu Yao wants to ever think about is Chusheng possibly leaving him.

That night, sleep eludes him, the room suddenly too quiet and his body too cold under the covers.

===

And Chusheng keeps doing it.

Before, Lu Yao wouldn’t have given it a second thought, but after that afternoon with the car chase and his overreactive imagination, it’s as if Lu Yao can’t switch his brain off. The moment the situation turns the slightest bit dangerous, that deep-seated fear he usually tries to lock away rears its ugly head, leaving him shaky and paralysed.

It happens every time Chusheng covers him with his body when they’re dealing with a shootout, even though Lu Yao is way taller than him.

The time another gang stupidly ambushed the police station with guns and small bombs, and Chusheng quickly stuffed Lu Yao under his table, the safest location for now, as he ran off with only a gun in his hand. Lu Yao remembers grabbing at Chusheng’s hand as he stood to go.

“Don’t go,” he swallowed with wide eyes, his grip on Chusheng’s wrist unnaturally strong.

Chusheng looked up, no doubt seeing the gunfight and what not outside, and there was no way he wasn’t going to go.

“Be good,” he ended up saying to Lu Yao, patting his hand twice and then shook his grip off easily, running off.

Or that time when they ended up in an abandoned, burning hospital in the hills, and Chusheng pushed Lu Yao and Youning out of the way of a dropping, burning log from the ceiling. That one came really close, and Lu Yao was quiet for a few days after that, even though Chusheng ended up only with a broken collarbone and some mild burns across his chest from where he was pinned under the log.

Every time it happens, the whisper in his head gets louder and louder.

What will you do if he’s gone?

The last straw, Lu Yao thinks, is this.

Chusheng taking the lashes from the whip meant for him, all because Lu Yao cracked a case and they ended up arresting one of the nephews of Du He, a gang leader that has ties to Boss Bai. It doesn’t make sense to Lu Yao at all — his nephew killed eleven women and Lu Yao, together with Chusheng, were just doing their damn job.

“Hand him over to me and you can go, Qiao Si,” the man said earlier.

Lu Yao only hears the ringing in his ears, and someone is shouting — it takes a hand and a cloth smothering his nose and mouth to realize that the person making so much noise was him.

“It doesn’t have anything to do with him,” Chusheng replied with a small little smirk, taking off his jacket, and then his shirt. “He’s working for me. If you’ve got any issues with that, you come for me, not him.”

He knows what Chusheng is going to do, but Chusheng can’t take any more damage. When Du He captured the both of them earlier, Chusheng already took a knife to the abdomen while fighting off the twenty men who came for them.

Panic grips him and Lu Yao lunges forward, but hands grab him and drag him off to the side.

Thirty lashes, all because they were doing their jobs.

“San Tu, it’s alright,” Chusheng reassured him before the first crack of the whip sounded.

It has nothing to do with him, Lu Yao wants to yell, struggling against the arms restraining him, hit me, not him!

By the fifteenth lash, Chusheng keels over from where he’s kneeling, his face pale and blood trickling down from the corner of his mouth.

Lu Yao doesn’t remember feeling this helpless, not since he met Chusheng. Not since his mother passed away, and Lu Yao wept over her grave for days straight.

He shouts again and with the last of his strength, tries to dash ahead, but he doesn’t get far.

He hates Du He, hates the monster of a nephew he has, hates the triads and the underworld and their fucking shite rules, hates that he’s so weak like this, unable to do anything as Chusheng once again protects him, unable to keep Chusheng with him, the man dying because of him-

Before the last crack of the whip, the doors to the manor slam open, and in steps Bai Qili, and Youning. At the sight of Chusheng, Youning’s eyes widen.

It takes only one glance at a bloodied, unconscious Chusheng on the ground for Boss Bai’s eyes to darken.

“You’ve got some balls, touching my son,” the man says evenly, stepping in, his every step measured. “Taking him without my permission and punishing him? What gave you the right?!”

At the anger in the man’s voice, everyone steps back, including the men holding Lu Yao. Their grips loosen just enough for Lu Yao to dart forward, and then he’s free, running towards Chusheng.

“Lao Qiao,” Lu Yao calls, his voice hoarse and trembling as he pulls Chusheng to him. “Lao Qiao, Lao Qiao-“

Youning joins him the next second, tears in her eyes, “Ge, Chusheng-ge-“

She looks up, and her father glances at the three of them for a second, before nodding.

“San Tu, we have to get him to the hospital,” she springs into action quickly. “We have to hurry.”

Everything is a blur next. In fact, Lu Yao isn’t so sure if it’s him that is moving, or if Youning is taking over, because Lu Yao simply cannot- he cannot think. Chusheng’s blood is all over Lu Yao’s sleeves, his shirt, and there’s so much blood. He’s pretty sure some skin has come off. Youning is the one who wraps Chusheng in his shirt and jacket, and then she’s snapping at Lu Yao.

“San Tu! Get it together, I can’t pick him up, you have to carry him for me!”

Lu Yao does as he’s told. He ends up carrying Chusheng in a fireman’s lift, putting him over his shoulder so as not to touch his ruined back, and they pile into one of the cars lined up outside. He barely registers the fact that the Bais have brought at least fifty men with them, including Liu Zi and two older men that Lu Yao vaguely remember Youning and Chusheng calling Lao Er and San shu.

Xiao Qi, the brother next in line after Chusheng, is driving the car.

Lu Yao is so cold, hugging Chusheng to him.

What will you do if he’s gone?

“… why’re you crying,” comes a rasp, cold fingers touching his cheeks, wiping at his tears.

Lu Yao didn’t even realize he was crying. Staring at Chusheng, who’s barely awake and his eyes glassy as they try to focus on him, Lu Yao finds all the words stuck in his throat.

“Ge!” Youning calls in relief, just as Xiao Qi says, “Si-ge!”

“This is nothing,” Chusheng continues. “San Tu ah, don’t worry-“

“Shut up,” Lu Yao says through gritted teeth, his knuckles going white from how hard he’s holding onto Chusheng. “Just shut up.”

It’s just as well that Chusheng slips back into unconsciousness next, because Lu Yao doesn’t know what to say to him. He doesn’t know what he can say without just breaking down in tears.

He can’t take any of this anymore.

===

The second the doctor says that Chusheng is going to live and will be bedridden for at least three weeks, Lu Yao turns on his heels and leaves the hospital.

===

“You’re ridiculous, you know that? What did I do in my previous life to have known you?”

Lu Yao doesn’t respond, huddled on the couch with a blanket wrapped around him, covering his head. A bag of what smells like dumplings is set on the coffee table in front of him, but he doesn’t move.

“Lu Yao! I swear, if you’re not going to eat or talk or move and if you just want to die, then don’t do it in my house and on my couch! I might deal with bodies everyday at the institute, but the last thing I want to do is deal with you!”

He hasn’t moved a lot in the last week.

“Just starve to death, see if I care! When you faint, I’ll just throw you out.”

Lu Yao’s not sure what he wants to do, but staying right here on this couch forever sounds like a good idea.

A loud, aggravated sigh sounds, and then Liu Mo comes into his line of vision. The shorter man drags a chair over and sits opposite Lu Yao on the other side of the table. Despite what he said, Liu Mo unpacks the dumpling soup and noodles, even shifting Lu Yao’s portion closer to him.

After a long moment, bony hands emerge from the abyss that is the thick duvet, and grabs for the soup.

“Lu Yao, what are you thinking?” Liu Mo shakes his head, frowning at him, but the relief at seeing Lu Yao eat is clear in his voice.

“You just turn up at my house with blood all over your shirt and insist you want to stay. And to keep it a secret that you’re here. What the hell happened? I haven’t asked, but this is getting ridiculous. You just hang out on my couch staring into space!”

Now that he thinks about it, it’s a miracle that Liu Mo took him in on such short notice. Lu Yao didn’t really think much when he fled from the hospital — all he knew was that he needed to get out, get away and hide, and he couldn’t do that at home. For a moment he panicked, standing out on the empty streets, wondering where he could go because Chusheng and Youning are his only friends here.

It only occured to him later that he could call either Qian Rui, or Liu Mo. He went with the least likely choice in the end, and when he’s feeling a little better, Lu Yao will remember to thank Liu Mo for letting him stay despite hating him.

Besides, Qian Rui might have called his older sister or father if Lu Yao turned up like this. Lu Yao hasn’t figured out what he wants to do yet, but he’s not about to let Lu Miao or any of his brothers, or even Zhiqing-ge kidnap him home.

Liu Mo’s clothes are terribly tight and short on him, but if it means he’s clean and doesn’t have to move an inch away from the couch, Lu Yao is willing to take it.

No one will find him here. No one will get hurt because of him again.

Chusheng won’t be hurt because of him, not if Lu Yao never turns up in front of him again. This way, Lu Yao doesn’t have to worry about Chusheng dying or leaving him. It’ll hurt like a bitch, but at least Chusheng will be alive, and that’s better than him being dead.

Lu Yao still has no idea what he would ever do without Chusheng. For now, spending his days in one spot, on the couch, seems to be the only option.

“These dumplings are good,” he says, completely ignoring Liu Mo’s question.

“I swear to god, Lu Yao, you little shit-“

===

The next day, Liu Mo turns up with a baguette for brunch. Then for dinner, fish soup that tastes just like the one from the stall opposite the police station.

“This is good,” Lu Yao comments, looking up from his bowl to stare at Liu Mo, “Where did you get this?”

“… some, some lady at the canteen cooked extra and I took some home,” Liu Mo answers, resolutely looking at the shelf behind Lu Yao.

It takes him another three days — another six meals, all his favourites — to realize what’s happening.

Almost finishing the fragrant crispy roasted duck, Lu Yao looks up and stares at Liu Mo for a long, long time. The man fidgets in his chair and Lu Yao almost slaps himself, because how could he have just believed Liu Mo? The man is a terrible liar, he knows this. And yet, Lu Yao easily took his word for it in the past few days.

“You told him?!”

“I didn’t!” Liu Mo rushes to explain, flustered, “I mean, you’re talking about the Bai family and the police, Lu Yao, are you kidding me? He found me a few days ago and said he’d take me to the station for kidnapping if I didn’t tell the truth and- think about it, you came to me and I kindly let you stay and he was going to arrest me! And… and, he just drops off food for you, and gets me to bring it up.”

He.

There’s only one man who knows exactly what he likes to eat. Lu Yao remembers clearly the doctor saying, “Three weeks of bedrest, no moving.”

It’s impossible for Chusheng to still be here considering it’s been an hour since Liu Mo came back with the duck, but Lu Yao wipes his hands on his shirt and leaps to his feet anyway, heading for the door. Nearly falling because his legs haven’t seen much exercise in the past ten days, Lu Yao stumbles all the way until he’s pulling the door open, ready to just run out without his shoes on.

He barely takes one step out before freezing in his footsteps, his breath catching in his throat.

Sitting on the porch, back facing him, is one Qiao Chusheng.

At the sight of him, Lu Yao warms — relief, wonder and affection just surging for the man, but as quickly as the emotions come, anger floods through him even faster. Before he knows what he’s doing, Lu Yao is stomping his way angrily to Chusheng as the man turns around at the noise, a look of surprise on his face.

“Are you dumb?!” Lu Yao seethes, seeing red, “Are you- The doctor said three weeks! Three fucking weeks, and I- I can’t believe you’re out here. Are you kidding me?! Qiao Chusheng, do you think this is a joke? You should be in the hospital-“

“But you’re here,” comes the voice Lu Yao has been dreaming about the past few nights, interrupting him, and he stops. “You’re here, San Tu. Where else would I be?”

A lump forms in his throat.

“You shouldn’t,” Lu Yao shakes his head, all his earlier fury gone, leaving a defeated man in its wake. “You shouldn’t be here. Qiao Chusheng, you should be anywhere but here.”

===

Chusheng gets to his feet gingerly, and it takes him only two steps to reach Lu Yao. His eyes rove over Lu Yao, noting the too-small clothes on him. Irritation gnaws at him, seeing Lu Yao in another man’s clothes, but he pushes that away to note the unkempt hair, the oil stains on Lu Yao’s shirt, the eyebags, and it’s only been a little over a week, but the man looks even skinnier than before.

“I woke up the next day,” he says. “I woke up and you weren’t there. Youning was biting at her nails in worry, because she didn’t know where you went. We didn’t know if you were kidnapped again, or worse. You didn’t take anything with you. It took us a few days to realize that you weren’t kidnapped but left willingly.”

He smiles a little, “I thought you would be at Qian Rui’s. Imagine my surprise when I found you at Liu Mo’s.”

“… if you knew where I was, why didn’t you just come in and see me?” asks Lu Yao, his voice low.

“I figured you left for a reason and I was just waiting for you,” Chusheng exhales hard, nodding. Then he huffs once, chuckling, “Well, I was going to wait only for another day, to be honest. If you weren’t going to do anything by tomorrow dinner I told Youning to get Liu Zi and Ah Dou and drag you home at night.”

When Lu Yao doesn’t respond to that and still refuses to look at him, Chusheng sighs.

“San Tu, you must’ve been scared. I’m sorry, but you’ll always be safe with me. You know that, right? As long as I’m breathing, you will never have to worry. Even if I have to protect you with my own life-“

“I don’t want you to do that!” Lu Yao breathes, incredulous.

“Qiao Chusheng, I don’t want you do that, don’t you get it? Did you hit your head somehow too? I don’t want it! I don’t want you to protect me with your life. I want you to be alive and well, and if that means I have to go, then so be it. You don’t understand, you’re a fucking idiot! What am I supposed to do- what the hell am I supposed to do if you’re gone, do you understand?! Qiao Chusheng, do you understand?”

When he’s done yelling, Chusheng can only stare at Lu Yao, his mouth parted a little, as if saying ‘oh’. Lu Yao rubs at his face with a hand, pressing fingers at his temples.

It dawns on him then, what Lu Yao is doing.

He’s not happy one bit that Lu Yao is obviously so distressed, but Chusheng would be lying if he said he wasn’t the least bit moved and relieved that Lu Yao is doing this, disappearing on him, yelling at him-

-because he loves him.

Chusheng hears it loud and clear.

“You don’t ever have to think about that,” he says, drawing Lu Yao into his arms, pressing the man’s head into his own shoulder and hugging him tight. “San Tu, it’s impossible for that to happen.”

Hands come up to clutch at the front of his jacket, before a small voice replies, “You don’t know that. So many times. So many times, Lao Qiao. I keep thinking, I can’t sleep, when I think about it, every single time you jump in front of me.”

“I’m going to be wherever you are,” Chusheng swears. “I’m not leaving you behind, no matter where I go. So if this is where you are, it’s where I’ll be.”

They’re just words, and he knows he can’t guarantee it for sure, but Chusheng doesn’t plan on going back on his promise.

“… really?”

“I promise. Now… can we go home? The shirt is a little too short on you, and I think you’ve imposed on Liu Mo enough,” Chusheng sighs, raising an eyebrow at the professor standing at the door to their house, obviously eavesdropping.

At the sound of that, Liu Mo nods fervently, putting his hands together and shaking them at Chusheng, as if begging him to take Lu Yao away.

Chusheng does just that.

===

“You should have told me what you were worrying about.”

The weight of the covers over them a comfort, Lu Yao looks up, peering at Chusheng. They’re sleeping in the same bed for the very first time, but it’s so soft and warm that Lu Yao thinks he is finally, finally able to sleep. Chusheng looks more relaxed too, especially after a home-cooked supper and taking all his pain medication for his still-healing back.

Youning will probably turn up early tomorrow to yell at them both, and unfortunately, this time the both of them deserve it.

“Hmm?”

It’s entirely dark, but Lu Yao can still see Chusheng’s eyes like this, the both of them lying on the same pillow, their noses almost touching.

A hand slips into his between them, and then Lu Yao feels it.

Chusheng’s strong, steady heartbeat through their intertwined hands.

“You can check the next time,” Chusheng smiles. “Whenever you can’t sleep and are worrying about me, all you have to do is reach out for my hand. Just like this.”

“You’re embarrassing,” Lu Yao rolls his eyes, but even in the dark, Chusheng can probably still see the pink on his cheeks.

Chusheng is right, though. The steady beat is just like a lullaby, lulling him to sleep. Lu Yao squeezes Chusheng’s hand tighter and sighs.

Right before he falls asleep, Lu Yao makes the same promise.

I’ll be wherever you are too, no matter where that is.

--

Notes:

*Chusheng is referred to as Qiao Si (乔四) or Qiao Si-ye (乔四爷) or Si-ge (四哥) or Lao Qiao (老乔)

*Qian Rui is Lu Yao's friend, who turns up at the couple's restaurant where Chusheng gifts Lu Yao the watch

*Liu Mo is Lu Yao's arch nemesis that kind of hates him but they used to be friends so you know, it's a love-hate relationship

*Liu Zi is number 6 in the family, Xiao Qi is number 7, and Lao Er is number 2, with San Shu being number 3 in the Bai hierarchy

*I just kind of made up a character for the other gang's leader XD

--

[rvbheadcanonsbattacatta]

Languages (part 1)

What Languages I think the BGC/ Reds and Blues would speak.

Tell me if you want me to do Freelancers or Chorus etc because I am totally down I have THINGS TO SAY-

Church ( / Alpha / the Director): English, Hebrew and German. English and Hebrew are his native languages. He took German in high school and never forgot a word. He has no use for the language however. Also nobody ever remembers that it’s Hebrew. As in: he tells them out of frustration, but they all just seem to forget the next minute.

Tucker: English. He barely knows English and the only things he did try to learn were Spanish and Swedish pick-up lines because he thinks Spanish is hot and thought Wash was Swedish for some fucking reason for a solid three months don't even argue. But also (god bless), he tried to learn Sangheili for Junior and it just did not work.

Caboose: English, Spanish and French. Caboose was just brought up bilingual (Spanish and English) and studied French all through high school and even for a semester at Harvard. However, nobody knows this because nobody ever addresses him in these languages. Plus, he never spoke Spanish to Lopez because he never assumed he was being spoken to.

Tex: English? Well, Tex is only fluent in English. She’s actually pretty good with Hungarian, Romanian, Croatian, Egyptian Arabic and of course: Hebrew. Holding a really long or complex conversation would be difficult for her, but she’s definitely skilled. Only issue? She doesn’t really give a shit, and her only focus is really on Freelancer and later the Reds and Blues. She always had a fascination with languages that most English speakers found unorthodox or difficult and honest-to-God: after basic when their relationship started, Alison took to learning Hebrew for Leonard. She wasn’t meant to get as good as she did, but it’s the closest to a second language she’s got, even if she’ll never admit she likes Hungarian better.

Sheila/F.I.L.I.S: English but she can perfectly translate into any language. Including High Valyrian because of that one time the Director decided he really liked Game of Thrones.

Kaikaina: English, Hawaiian, Spanish and Catalan. Her native languages are English and Hawaiian. Some of her friends were from Spain or Catalonia so she chose Spanish in high school and had an astounding level of commitment to both languages. She speaks perfectly now and really does try to have conversations with Lopez but he refuses because he doesn't like her accent. 

Sarge: English. That's it. He also likes to ask people "Sprichst du Deutsch" and if they say yes he just pretends it never happened.

Simmons: English, Esperanto, Tagalog, Dutch and Flemish. He's extremely proud of himself, as he should be, but anytime he tries to boast the reds and blues have no idea what languages he's talking about. His only validation came from one time on Chorus, Wash found out and said he was impressed. Simmons cherishes that memory.

Grif: English, Hawaiian, Spanish and Catalan. His native languages are English and Hawaiian. Neither of his parents spoke Catalan, he never really studied but still ended up speaking at a conversational level. Maybe he just picked it up from Kai? Except he doesn't give a shit and only Kai knows this but why would she go around telling people her brother speaks Catalan? As for Spanish... Grif learned Spanish in season 15 while he was isolated because... Because he wanted something to remind himself of Simmons. And he thought that every time Simmons spoke Esperanto, that it was Spanish. Spoiler alert, Simmons had no clue what he was on about. (He and Kai always play dumb pranks like shouting a pleasant conversation in Hawaiian to make people think it was a really bad argument).

Lopez: Spanish. Fairly self-explanatory.

Doc: Greek, English, Romanian and ASL. In my headcanons, Doc is half Greek, a quarter Romanian and a quarter American. He spoke all three languages growing up, though his Greek is the best. He always gets super frustrated whenever people insult his intelligence because he is a genius in Greek. He heard Tex curse in Romanian once and couldn’t leave her alone for ages. Though, Tex paid no attention as she was focused on O’Malley and by the time he was gone, so was Tex. Doc grew up in Greece for most of his life, Romania for 7 years and only moved to America later in life. He gets major homesickness and all he really wants is someone to talk to him in Greek or Romanian. 

Donut: English, ASL, Greek? and (he thinks) Spanish. He took Spanish in high school and only retained incorrect vocabulary. His grammar is perfect and things like accent, flow and tone are flawless except he always says the wrong words and Lopez is constantly confused by this. Donut knows ASL because of his explosion scar which also caused major hearing loss. He’s been trying to learn Greek for Doc for months but hasn’t told him because he wants to be the best he can when he talks to him. 

[amlovelies]

Or

Written for @wayhavenmonthly​‘s Fall For Unit Bravo

Day 14: Unit

No warnings

words:1343

This would be the first chapter if I even did a long-fic version of my Wayhaven AU (which I don’t have a title for because titles are the worst lol) featuring Mason and Serena Willis. I’ll include links for the other pieces I’ve written from it. 

liability

what desire will make foolish people do

finders-keepers

read on ao3

               I’ve lost track of how long I’ve been at the facility. I think it’s been a few weeks, but without seeing the sun or any real structure to my day it’s hard to tell. It’s not like things stop moving down here; half the agents are nocturnal after all. There always seems to be people moving through the hallways, gathering in the training room, and meeting in the dining hall.

               They say I’m not a prisoner, but I don’t trust that enough to try and leave. Besides, it’s not like I have anywhere to go. I might as well just be their little lab rat. At least, the testing has slowed down. Maybe they think they’ve figured me out, or found a way to make use of me.

               I’m sure that’s why Agent Greene wants to meet with me. To be honest, I’m not sure what I want them to do with me. I’m stuck here. Portals are one way, and until I showed up, they only came from the Echo World.

               The Echo World, because one parallel world wasn’t enough for me to handle. The Agency scientists think there might be an infinite number of them, just one more reason it’s impossible for me to go home. Portals are one way, we would have no way of knowing if it led to the right place, or if I’d just be hopping through space trying to get back.

               When I reach the door where Agent Greene is waiting, I hesitate to knock. There’s something about her that makes me nervous. More nervous than the Unit of vampires she supervises. She’s a consummate professional, that’s clear from her the top of her perfectly coiffed head to her expensive heels. She hasn’t been cruel or anything, but she also hasn’t gone out of her way to be kind either.

               I knock and she calls me inside.

               The room is sterile, like so many parts of the facility. A table with a couple of chairs sits in the middle of the white walls and concrete floor. It reminds me of the interrogations rooms I used to see on cop shows. Yeah, that helps with the nerves.

               “Ms. Willis, please do have a seat.”

               She gives me a moment to get settled.

               “I understand you’ve been very cooperative with the test the Agency has requested. Thank you.” She says.

               I roll my eyes, “I figured you’d do the tests whether I said yes or not. I might as well cooperate.”

               She frowns, “you do have a choice in these things. While it is important for us to understand how you got here and the future implications of additional portals, we would never force you.”

               “So you say.”

                “Choice is why I wanted to speak with you today.” She says switching topics. “I’m sure you’re bored staying here at the facility, have you considered what you would like to do next.”

               “Besides go home?” I know I sound like a bratty teen, but really, what does she expect me to say?                

               “Part of what the Agency does is take care of and provide for supernaturals stuck in this world.” She says her tone soft. “You may not belong to any supernatural species we know of, but with the differences in physiology, and the fact that you are trapped here against your will places you in our purview.”

               “Meaning what exactly?”

               “We can get you a job, an apartment, maybe set you up to go to school. The agency can help you start a new life here.”

               “Why do I feel like there is a but coming?” I ask. There has to be a catch. There’s always a catch.

               She gives me a look which I can only call appraising, and she flashes a small smile, “There isn’t. There’s an or.”

               I jerk back a little surprised, and honestly, intrigues. If someone had offered me a fresh start like that back home, I would have leapt at the opportunity. A chance to start again without all the baggage of my earlier life? Financial assistance? It would be like a dream come true, but it feels hollow here. It just feels lonely.

               “Or?”

               “Or you could join Unit Bravo on a trial basis. Think of it like an internship.”

               “Why?”

               “The unit will be stationed permanently in Wayhaven. Based on our experience with portals we have reason to believe the one you fell through will only become more active.”

               I nod in understanding, “and you want me there to greet any other poor sod who gets sucked through.”

               “Yes. I also understand you have been spending a good amount of time in the training room and working with the junior agents. Commanding Agent Du Mortain believes you could maybe turn into a decent agent someday. With training, of course.”

               I have enjoyed the sparring. I was mostly just a punching bag for some of the junior agents I’d gotten to know, but it was fascinating to see how different my body was in this world. If the agency scientist had figured out exactly what cause the changes, they haven’t shared it with me. Whatever the reason, I was now faster and stronger. My body even had some accelerated healing ability. Nothing to compare with the vampires of Unit Bravo, but still an interesting development. I read enough comic books back home which makes me think there might be some sort of radiation or something in the void between worlds, but who the fuck actually knows.

               “What’s in it for me?” I ask her curious to see her answer.

               She nods unsurprised by the question. I wonder if she prepared for this meeting. Was I acting as she predicated?

               “You’d be working with people you’ve already met. I understand you visited Detective Greene during her recovery and she is quite fond of you. You’ve also spent some time with Agent Sewell and Hauville here at the facility. I imagine having some somewhat familiar faces around would ease the transition to your new life here.”

               “You would also have access to the Agency’s resources,” she continues. “Room and board would be provided as well as a competitive salary. If it doesn’t work out, then the original offer still stands.”

               I don’t take long to answer, “I’ll do it.” It’s the thought of the loneliness that seals the deal. I may barely know Unit Bravo, but at least I know them. Nate was the first person I met in this new world, and Farah could understand what I’m going through. I may not be proud of it, but I’m prepared to cling to them for as long as possible rather than face the specter of a strange new world.

               “Excellent. They are waiting in a room nearby in the event that you said yes. Let’s join them now so we can begin to go over the specifics of your assignment to Wayhaven.” She rises from the table and I hurry to follow.

               It’s a short walk to where the rest of the Unit waits. It all feels a little surreal. This has to be the strangest job interview I’ve even been in. A giggle escapes me and Agent Greene glances over at me, probably regretting this arrangement all ready.

               This room is a lot nicer and welcoming that the harsh cell we were just in. I guess not that I’m on the payroll the treatment changes. I have to wonder exactly what sort of apartment I would have ended up with if I’d taken them up on the original offer. Not that it could be worse than places I lived in back home. God there was that one place with the iron mark burned into the carpet, or the one where I had to light the pilot light whenever I wanted a hot shower.

               As soon as we’re through the door I hear Farah’s voice, “See Natey, I told you she would say yes!”

               “I’m happy to see you were right.” Nate responds before turning to greet me. “Welcome to Unit Bravo, Serena.”

tagging: @morgans-ass-freckles, @agentnatesewell, @lilyoffandoms and @bellarxse (if you’d like to be tagged/not tagged/only tagged for certain pairings please let me know 💜)

[vera-dal-1926]

Welcome to my Hannibal/Bedelia snail-scene Ted Talk.

( video in question can be found here on my twitter )

This is, without a doubt, my favorite fucking scene from the entirety of the Hannibal TV show. I watch it daily. You know Hannigram is my number one ship, but Du Maurier has always been my favorite character. And I find her relationship with Hannibal to be one of the most honest, intimate, and scathing shown on the show. This scene in particular perfectly sums up the love that they share in Italy and I want to talk about why.

We open up on Hannibal and Bedelia after intimacy, we know this because of the way they are dressed (or lack thereof), and Bryan’s infinitely infamous tweets “THEY TOTALLY BONED” and how he mentioned that the snails they are eating are “post-coital munchies.” Hannibal gingerly feeds her before himself, which for a hungry and terribly selfish man, doesn’t go unnoticed. He serves her a drink of whiskey and begins to stroke and caress her neck for the entire duration of their conversation, occasionally taking her pulse as they speak. The way he plays and toys with her hair, the wandering fingers never ceasing their affectionate actions is not only totally ASMR-worthy, it’s extraordinarily soft for such a violent and untrustworthy man. He’s admiring her, worshiping her gingerly as they discuss Will and his intentions here.

Notice her acceptance of the touch, not only leaning into it, but leaning against him as he embraces her from behind. Her cheek pressed against his as she relaxes under his comforting, but suspicious touch.

The first thing Bedelia says is a toast to “the misfortune of the snail,” mourning the loss of a life, no matter how little. Even though Bedelia has taken a life of her own (or two, but who’s being TECHNICAL here), even that urge to crush the baby bird she confides in about with Will, she still bemoans for the loss. Bedelia doesn’t lack empathy. She’s somewhere between Will’s empathy disorder and Hannibal’s complete lack of it. She’s a foil to their black and white humanity- Bedelia Du Maurier is simply grey. Hannibal swiftly turns the topic onto her. “Snails follow their nature surely as those who eat them.” She is guilty by accepting the cooked snail, regardless of her sympathy for it’s situation. He says this as he first makes contact and strokes her hair, one side, a hand crawling up her back, and to the other side. Bedelia explains that fireflies live brief lives, and Hannibal responds that it’s “better to live true to yourself for a moment, then to never know it.” Which is directly about himself and Will; Hannibal has lived true to his vile nature, shining bright, while he believes that Will has never accepted his true self.

“Like Will Graham does?” Bedelia isn’t interested in speaking in thinly veiled metaphors any longer, she says his name directly to get a reaction out of Hannibal. After all, he just loves speaking about that sad, shaggy dog-man. She’s abundantly aware, but Hannibal doesn’t confirm nor deny. He simply states “an insect lacks morality to agonize over,” but that isn’t true, because Will Graham has absolutely agonized over his morality since the moment he came into contact with Hannibal Lecter. “Will agonizes about inevitable change.” That change references being the change in the men’s relationship, with Will accepting his fate as no better or no worse than a serial killing cannibal. That change also being the gutting and being tossed aside as Hannibal had done before eloping to Italy.

Bedelia is listening closely, and you can tell by the way she is gently tilting her head and her ear towards him. As a trained therapist, she is detecting every word, every syllable, and analyzing it carefully. Bedelia is careful about the words she chooses, speaking slowly, clearly, and concisely. Hannibal does this as well, making their conversations lengthy and difficult to decipher. But here, she’s dropped her shoulders under his touch and finds herself vulnerable enough to admit something:

“Almost anything can be trained to resist it’s instinct,” and she looks directly at him, eyebrows raised. Hannibal’s idle fingers continue to wander up her neck. She’s speaking about herself now, no longer Will. Her instincts tell her she should run from the man in the person suit, she’s overtly aware of how dangerous he is and how futile their relationship in Italy is. She’s gone against the law, aiding his escape, and encouraging his bad behavior. As his therapist, she’s gone against everything she’s been working toward to join him in another country. Perhaps she feels she owes him when he helped cover up the murder of her previous patient, or perhaps against her better judgment, she does love him. But whatever it is, it’s caused her to resist her nature to run from him. The raised eyebrows imply she’s almost amused by this, not having expected such a strong, independent woman (no partner, no children) to fall for such a thing. “A Shepard dog doesn’t savage the sheep,” she tells him, and his fingers wander up to behind her ear. He’s listening to her just as closely.

Hannibal responds by embracing her from behind, arm encircles her shoulder, and he presses himself and his cheek against hers. Bedelia relaxes into it, not only allowing the touch, but leaning into it. She feels safe and relaxed amongst their quiet conversation- she may even feel relieved for admitting such things aloud. “But it wants to,” Hannibal whispers to her, referring to the urges of the hound who vows to protect. Hannibal is very much this hound. He would not savage her, he has promised as much and he respects her far too greatly to do such a thing, but as always, that urge resides him. It will never go away. And with that confession in response to hers, the topic returns to Will. Bedelia visibly swallows.

“Will has reached a state of moral confounding. Empathy and reciprocity.” Hannibal states, and this makes her laugh. “Oh,” she breathes with a chuckle, suddenly understanding the relationship between the two men more clearly than she ever has before: “Reciprocity. If we keep track of incoming and outgoing intentions, Will Graham is en route to kill you, while you lie in wait to kill him.” Because that is the circle of life the two men have found themselves dancing around since the moment they laid eyes on one another. Horns locked in a constant battle of wills, each struggling to grasp the upper hand, but it will always end in a stalemate, as they are equally matched. They find fulfillment in each other in this deadly exchange. It benefits them both. It’s simply cat and mouse.

rec·i·proc·i·ty /ˌresəˈpräsədē/

noun

the practice of exchanging things with others for mutual benefit, especially privileges granted by one country or organization to another.

Hannibal’s eyes close from behind her as she says these painfully accurate words, they touch something deep inside him. A hand wraps around her neck with need, but he doesn’t squeeze- the touch is intimate, not lethal. Bedelia doesn’t flinch, simply staring out the window as she realizes she’s figured the men out. She sips her whiskey, proud of herself, and whispers her final parting words to Hannibal Lecter:

“Now, THAT’S reciprocity.”

[rhaenyratargeryn]

31 Days of Wayhaven

Prompt: Day 5, Moon Pairing: Adam du Mortain x f!detective Summary: Unit Bravo and the detective visit the local Halloween bonfire and things (oh god im gonna say it) HEAT UP between the detective and the commanding agent. Come and get ya pining juice. Notes: The idea is that Adam and the detective are KINDA in a relationship by now. They have definitely kissed and then promptly never discussed it. So yeah. By Adam’s standards they are practically engaged. Ao3 link

Meadow Outside Wayhaven, October 31. Halloween Night.

Even from their place atop the far hill overlooking the meadow, the light from the roaring bonfire was visible, casting an orange glow across the dark field, only stopping where the milk-light of the moon blended it out from pastel to pale silver.

The moon was full this year and would be all the way unto November 1st. The veil between the worlds was already thin around this season, for reasons the Agency had yet to divine, and the presence of the moon served to even further part the rifts.

It was as much a holiday for the humans of Wayhaven as it was for the inhumans. A time where they could more readily slip their glamor and live openly… though as Adam painted it, few took such a risk. Unit Bravo was on patrol, even tonight of all nights, but it was a half-hearted one as even Adam had come to sit as near to her as he would allow.

Farah was down among the people, mingling with a growing entourage of admirers as she asked endless questions on their costumes and their customs— playing the “small town southern girl from the States” card enough to let any questions they might have slide. Nate was doing the lord's work, taking it upon himself to mingle with the Mayor alongside Rebecca, a task the detective was happy to relent.

Morgan… the detective couldn’t quite recall when she last saw Morgan, but most likely the solitude was doing the agent good as she kept up checking the perimeter away from the strong smell of burning wood and the chatter of people.

The detective shifted, fishing a rock out from beneath the soft flannel blanket she had spread out on the side of the small hill and chucking it away. When she resettled, she gingerly shifted closer to Adam, feeling more keenly the warmth coming from him when she did so.

“Are you cold?” Adam’s voice nearly startled a jump from her, his green eyes turned with concern to her, “You should have brought a thicker jacket.”

To be honest, she wasn’t that cold, not really.

“Yeah, kinda a weird balance between freezing and roasting out here.”

She hoped it was enough of a white lie that he wouldn’t sense the change in her pulse or her breathing. Could he even do that? God, she hoped he couldn’t do that.

Adam was silent for a moment, his attention going straight ahead again towards the flames. The tension in his body was hard to ignore and the reason for it obvious when the detective felt his arm brush slowly at her lower back. He kept his grip loose, but it was unmistakably there as Adam settled his arm around her waist. 

He seemed at a loss for what to do with his hand, so kept it balled into a slight fist and pressed at her side.

“Is… that better?”

No. Because now she was absolutely, most definitely combusting.

“Yes.”

Adam seemed satisfied because he did not press the subject further. In fact, he was doing his best to not appear to notice her at all, despite the fact she was fairly certain she was all he could notice by the way he was still holding unto so much tension in his shoulders. He seemed determined now to do his best not to move.

She noted to her annoyance, she had frozen up too. They were never going to get anywhere if every time they so much as touched they transformed into statues. The detective remembered at the carnival how she had leaned over and rested her head on Adam’s shoulder… how he had not drawn away and if anything he had softened beneath the touch. 

Maybe that would happen now? Or maybe it would send him scrambling away from her. There was only one way to find out and so, as tentatively as he had reached out around her, the detective slid herself flush against his side and let her head gently fall back against his shoulder.

It took everything in her to get her heart to quiet and her muscles to uncoil, taking in a deep breath and releasing it in a sigh… a very contented sigh at that. She had no idea where it had come from beneath the layers of anxiety and longing that often twisted in her when Adam was around. But then again, nothing terrible had happened, neither of them turned into monsters or burst into flames… Adam was holding her and the world, miraculously, was not ending.

Neither of them spoke. She felt Adam’s touch become more confident, the pressure firmer as his fingers uncoiled themselves from a fist and spread out on her hip. 

The detective wasn’t sure what possessed her to place her hand on top of his, a perfect smaller mirror, curling her fingers between his own. Just enough to guide them. 

And Adam was letting her.

The drag of his palm over the denim left a trail of heat that she could feel down to her skin. His hand a warm solid weight that now so easily came to rest on the side of her thigh. 

She heard him swallow, the sound catching her gaze as she turned slightly to see if she could make out his expression.

Warmth erupted from the top of her spine down to her core when she saw Adam was not looking away, he wasn’t even looking at her really, but at his hand on her. Icy green eyes were dazed, dream-like and far away. She felt his fingers flex, just barely kneading the softness of her thigh before he drew it back up and stroked down the length again in one slow, languid motion.

The detective’s hand was still on top of his, but she was doing nothing to guide him now.

Adam had moved his palm closer to her inner thigh, his thumb stretching out to rub a small circle at the furthest most point he could reach. There was absolutely no reason for her mouth to go dry and for her to feel the sharpest most delicious ache deep within her center. Just this tiny brush of contact, so far away and yet so close to where she really wanted him, needed him, was enough to make her breath catch in her throat and heat bloom on her cheeks.

“Woods are clear.”

Morgan’s voice sent a different kind of fire through the detective as she jolted nearly upright. Adam, to his credit, had let his arm go immediately lax, leaning back on his palms and all traces of the previous contact smoothly removed.

The detective noted, as he spoke, that her back still touched along his arm. He had moved, yes, but he was still touching her. A part of her demanded she read nothing into it and yet another, louder part of her demanded just the opposite.

“Good,” Adam said with a nod,,  “It seems to be setting out to be a quiet night. If you’d like to join the others, I can see no reason why you should not.”

Adam’s voice was curt, but it was nothing Morgan would find offensive. He had not turned to look at the other agent yet, so the detective risked a glance over his shoulder at Morgan now.

The positively shit eating grin the dark haired woman was wearing was enough to make the detectives own expression sour. She mouthed a silent but good natured fuck off Morgan’s way, which only made her grin wider as she pressed a cigarette to her lips and chuckled darkly.

“I think I’ll do that.” Morgan answered, to her or Adam, the detective couldn’t say.

And with that Morgan swaggered off down to the bonfire, accosted immediately by Farrah and her gaggle of admirers…. though judging by the way Morgan seemed to be sauntering closer to one such woman, that was probably part of her new evening plans.

Adam did not put his arm around her again, the detective doing her best to repress a pout. They sat in silence once more, but the detective noticed that the tension did not return, and, after a few lengths of a heartbeat… his arm slowly, but purposefully wrapped around her again.

“Tell me if you get too warm. I will move over.” He mumbled, trying and failing at playing off a disinterested and business like manner to his actions.

The detective couldn’t find it in herself to find fault with that, she was too busy getting comfortable once more, laying her head on his shoulder and smiling to herself as she did so.

“I’m freezing. Positively Arctic. Will be all night most likely.” She said, voice a perfect picture of bliss.

Adam’s own smile was faint.

“But do let me know if your arm falls asleep.” She added quickly.

“Would you even move if I did?”

“No, but I promise to feel really bad about it.”

“Considerate of you.” Adam chuckled, but did not protest her declaration. His warmth, the smell of his cologne, woods and spice and the smoke and heat from the bonfire beneath it all did as much to soothe her as it did to set her nerves aflame themselves. One day she promised to herself and to him, in the dark under the Samhain moon, she would feel those hands on her thighs again.