#and i just think those three would be an awesome young core

[female-buckets]

Rickea with the GOATs 😁

[itsdannycragg]

Hi Tumblr!

I logged da fuck off at some point and will continue to be very much so not on social media! Believe me when I tell you life is better on the other side.

I do want to pop in with a life update for the curious!

I'm out here in Durham, NC, and three years after moving here with Shelby and Brian, I can confidently say there isn't a place in the world I'd rather put my roots down.

I never knew what actual community looked or felt like until I came here. I'd made friends in town everywhere I'd lived, of course, and we would go out to eat or on a vacation, visit a gallery or something, but in Durham it's just different. Looking out the window during a car ride, chatting with a stranger in a grocery store, checking out a thrift shop or going to the library, I find myself declaring "I love living here..." the same compulsive way I tell my partners I love them. Durham isn't just a place I live, it's where I belong.

I've been calling myself an ex-cartoonist, and preaching the nightmare of trying to make art for infinite-profit focused megacorps. It's not that I didn't love making cartoons, it's that I did. It may not be that way for everyone, but for me, working a job I loved meant I was working every second of my life. Being an artist is a core part of my heart and soul, and near the end, I had become so burnt out I would spend hours just trying to start doing the work I used to fly out of bed excited to do.

So I did some of this and that, worked a retail job that fucked my hands up so bad that I had to have double carpal tunnel release surgery. 29 years as an artist and I get carpal tunnel from hefting around boxes in a warehouse!

Since then, I've pivoted into building a career as a graphic designer. (And I'm learning web dev too!) I'm getting involved in the local nonprofit scene, meeting so many incredible people and finding so many cool and exciting opportunities to focus my design work on community awareness, nonprofits, small businesses!! I didn't expect that to be so viable for a Graphic Designer. I had the misconception for a long time that I'd have to put my creative sensibilities aside for more dry, sensible corporate phooey. But there's so much more. Graphic design is truly a delight and a challenge! I have always enjoyed thinking critically about all forms of human creation. Why am I so drawn to this book cover? What makes that building so weird? Why do these casserole mix boxes piss me off? Why does that person's outfit look so fucking awesome?

Taking those thoughts and using them to inform how I approach design is an entirely different beast from animating and illustrating. I'm fighting for my life out there formatting text, morphing vectors and and scooting things around a comp until it works. A picture's worth a thousand words, but you don't have space for a thousand words in a graphic design. Condense! Condense! It's challenging, and a lot of fun.

Working as a cartoonist was my dream come true, and I am forever proud of and thankful for the part I have played in the history of animation and queer representation in entertainment. I had the privilege of having the life crisis I had at 21— "I never thought I'd get this far. What more could I want? What do I do now?"

Well, a decade later I confidently know what comes after having my dreams come true. I get older, and I experience new things, meet new people, struggle paying bills, endure all kinds of misfortunes and problems, and come out the other side astounded and proud to have survived it. Grow closer to my family friends and community as the years deepen our history together, and just be amazed and thankful that I made it this far, over and over.

It's funny being called old by my younger friends, because I have never felt so young in my life! I JUST cracked 30. There are so many things I haven't done yet, and so many things I don't know that I don't know yet. And I have the power to take ALL of this and to create art about it. Hopy shit!

Speaking of making art and sharing it, one of the reasons I'm excited to be learning web dev is so I can carve out places online where I can share anything and everything I want to. Media Crit, comics, essays, comics, illos, however I want to present it. I'll share it when I get the site running. Or maybe I wont and you'll have to find it by chance.

And of course, I'm still actively writing Neokosmos with Shelby and Brian, and doing other little things here and there. :) See ya when I see ya, Danny

[oneatlatime]

Zuko Alone

I'm hoping for some Appa this episode. It's been too long since he's gotten any good sight gags.

Zuko is cosplaying Clint Eastwood. He's also back to being stupid pale this episode.

You know it's a good thing that Zuko's not in the Fire Nation anymore because he really would have sucked at being Fire Nation. Robbing pregnant women is probably kindergarden level stuff for them.

How is Zuko in such bad shape? Last time we saw him he had a cave full of spoils robbed from rich people. Did he not bother to pack at least some of that stuff? Actually, not thinking far enough ahead to pack would be pretty in character.

Oof that would rub me the wrong way. Not enough money for a meal, but sure, let's use totally edible eggs as ammo.

Where'd the egg go?

Who is the scarred up hat wearing vampire and what happened to the real Zuko? Imposter Zuko just elected to not be provoked into a fight. Real Zuko would already be setting things on fire.

Just a bunch of thugs. Yep. It's consistently awesome how many of the facets of war this show can cover.

Imposter Zuko and Song's horse bird just got kidnapped. Did not see that coming.

Zuko kind of has arm bandages like Sokka has this episode. Also love the character detail that the boy has scraped knees.

Is the kid's dad the same guy as the man at the store? Or maybe this is a one haircut town?

So the guy who was near to fainting off his horse bird this morning is now turning down freely offered food? Could Zuko please shelve his pride for five minutes? Kudos to the mom for accurately reading his distaste for charity and turning it into a request for aid though. Although covering for the boy's egg trick is worth at least a meal.

Tangent!

I don't get Zuko. How can he still have so much pride when he's wearing rags and starving himself to feed Song's horse bird? I'm quite shameless when it comes to accepting help and I've never, ever been able to understand the whole 'too proud to accept charity' mindset. I'm always up for some charity. I have enough manners to offer to do the dishes after, but if you're offering free food I'm eating it. And I've never been in a situation as desperate as Zuko's. So I don't get this.

ok tangent over.

Peak rich kid behaviour. I hope those nails aren't expensive otherwise Zuko doing work for food might end up with this family out of pocket.

Is the wood grain on this ladder an actual photograph of wood grain?

Zuko has more patience this episode than he had for all of season 1 combined. He's also never gone this long without yelling. Either proximity to young children activates Zuko's otherwise mostly slumbering decency, or to fit him into a Fistful of Dollars homage the writers had to make him out of character.

If I had been in this situation when I was a kid, if I had been a) this visibly bored, and b) this nosy around guests, I would have been given a hammer and a bag of nails in three seconds flat. Also, nice to see a Sokka face from Zuko.

I get that 'a man without a past' is a staple of the cowboy genre, but the boy's father bringing up the privacy of the past twice in like two minutes makes me think he's done stuff he doesn't want to talk about. Seems both the parents have read Zuko right though.

Finally! Some pretty! I have been suffering! This may be the first really good pretty all season!

Bad news for the Appa decor on my blog. He may have been supplanted in my affections.

Two things: first, Zuko is a carbon copy of his mom. Second, That is way too much forehead.

Having Zuko's mom introduce herself by talking about the lengths mothers will go to for their children is not giving me foreshadowing anxiety at all.

Azula's been a bitch since birth. Noted.

Sir, your eyebrows. Also, yeah, I wouldn't want to play with her either.

Yikes this is making my teeth itch and my skin crawl. Calling it now, she's rotten to the core.

Zuko and Azula's dad has some weak ass genes. BOTH of his children are carbon copies of their mom.

Also, I was not expecting Zuko's very stupid ponytail to be a pre-scar thing. It is much better with a full head of hair.

If I had spent my childhood hanging out with an untouchable princess who set things on my head on fire for fun whenever I involuntarily displayed emotion, I'd be gloomy and apathetic in self defense too.

Sokka in this episode in spirit, if not in person.

Seriously that's the same face three times over!

Um, no? If Iroh doesn't make it back from the front, doesn't his son become next in line to be Firelord?

Can you hear all the unspoken "father thinks that" and "father says that" in front of every one of Azula's opinions in this whole scene? I stand by my assertion that she's awful anyways, but she's also obviously drunk much too much of her dad's koolaid, if you know what I mean.

This kid is going to get into so much trouble one of these days. Provoking the soldiers, nagging the mysterious stranger with the mysterious past, and now taking his weapons? Kid's sweet but he really needs to learn when to stop pushing his luck.

Stabbing dead, dried wood sounds like a great way to utterly annihilate the edge on those. Hope Zuko packed a whetstone.

Where is this patience coming from? I don't understand and it's BUGGING me.

Hold on. Technical problems.

My very basic DVD player sometimes has difficulty with these disks. Whatever happened between the above two screenshots, I've missed it. So picking back up from the one on the right...

Either these soldiers are impressively cowardly (which, yeah) or Zuko's really been working on his death glare, because they've got him outnumbered and out-armoured and they still back off.

OH it's parallels! Zuko's cousin and the boy's older brother. Got it. Kind of a false parallel though. Grandson of the Firelord does not equal earth kingdom conscript.

Give the demonstrably impulsive and nosy child a knife. That'll work out just fine I'm sure. Pretty sad the kid glommed on to Zuko so quickly, but it's also yet another realistic representation of the consequences of war. This show's good.

*shudders* theatre kids.

She's tiny! Do you know how darkly humourous it is to watch a two foot tall baby spout her father's murderous nonsense? Once again, in this whole scene, not a word out of Azula's mouth is actually Azula's.

"What is wrong with that child?" Apart from budding homicidal and psychopathic tendencies? Her dad. Her dad is what's wrong with that child.

Their dad has no subtlety at all. And also no brain? You think a day after the firelord finds out one of his family died is the right time to very boorishly make a play for the crown with you daughter as a prop? Could you possibly come up with a better demonstration of why this guy shouldn't be in charge?

How did this asshole land such a nice wife?

Yep. Siding with the old firelord on this one.

Does flashback Zuko sleep in his day clothes? Because that's not ok.

I like that their mom sees straight through Azula's lying here. She knows her daughter.

In a move that should surprise no one, everything Zuko touches turns to shit, as usual.

It's the Mexico filter!

Absolute truth from Zuko in that monologue. He's got them pegged. Too bad it fell on deaf ears. It's Zuko's curse, that whenever he approaches being remotely reasonable, he happens to be surrounded by people who will react in such a way that Zuko learns to equate being reasonable with failure.

An earthbender. The bare feet should have clued me in.

Last season Zuko and Iroh laid waste to like ten of these guys. And Iroh didn't even have pants. So what gives? Is he that starved?

Ursa pulling a Mufasa.

Don't answer don't answer don't answer

And he does.

Zuko is so very good at completely misinterpreting the point.

So we can add thief to the list of things that make Azula awful. Also that delivery of "who's going to make me? Mom?" is chilling. Zuko's lost his only defender inside this atrocious family and she knows it, he knows it, hell the turtleducks probably know it.

His dying wish? You guys buying that?

Ozai. That's his name. I'd forgotten that.

So... something something dead firelord something something missing mom something something maybe Azula wasn't actually lying this time?

Final Thoughts

The title wasn't kidding. Let's rename the show 'Avatar: the Guy who's Really Bad at Capturing Him' while we're at it.

There is now no way whatsoever that Zuko is not going to be redeemed. No writing team would invest that much energy and a whole episode into a character we're not ultimately supposed to root for. So somehow he's going to end up joining the Gaang. Don't know how he'll pull that one off. He's done some pretty not great stuff. And it's not like the Gaang watched this episode and unlocked his tragic backstory.

Speaking of, what prompted these reflections? I could understand if Zuko started to contemplate his cousin and the events surrounding his loss in the war after he learned about the family's older brother, but he was having flashbacks before he even got to town. Usually when there are backstory bits, there's a good reason to show them at that time, like how the Storm prompts Aang to think about the last storm he was in, or seeing a boat from his father's fleet prompts Sokka to remember what his dad told him. So what caused Zuko's memories to give him situationally appropriate flashbacks?

Pretty funny that he found the Nice Earth Kingdom Family that Azula predicted for him. And they are really nice! Either Zuko is an open book or the parents' social intelligence is off the charts because they're giving him exactly what he needs to feel at ease after barely a single conversation.

Speaking of Azula, I'm not surprised to find that she's always had deeply awful tendencies, even as a child of (I'm guessing) less than ten. But it cannot be ignored that, from the moment her father took a liking to her (as a tool to boost his own greatness, if not as a person), she didn't stand a chance. You can tell by the number of times that the stuff coming out of her mouth is a thinly veiled repetition of her father's unfiltered opinions, that she's been spending lots of time listening to him, probably while he puts down her mom and brother and talks about how she's the special one. You know what I'm getting at. Azula never stood a chance once her father got involved, and her mom lost the ability to influence her once her father started giving Azula praise for objectively wrong behaviour. That being said, Azula is awful even when she doesn't need to be awful for her father's approval, like when she's with her friends, so it's not all her father's doing. She's not a good person but she also had plenty of help to become that.

I guess Zuko and his mom are Fire Nation anomalies? And maybe Iroh has become that since his son died and he lost the war?

How on earth did Zuko survive as long as he did in the palace without his mom to protect him? What a no-win situation to be in. The only person in a whole nation with empathy.

This episode does makes Season 1 Zuko make more sense. He's been larping his dad as a defense mechanism for surviving the Fire Nation/probably a very futile effort to earn his approval. Although Zuko doesn't seem to care much for his dad if the tone he takes with him by the turtleduck pond is any indication.

Being banished was the best thing that ever happened to Zuko. The more distance between him and his remaining non-uncle family, the better. Between prioritizing his crew over capturing the avatar in the Storm, releasing the Avatar in the Blue Spirit, and now defending a random earth kingdom child this episode, it's hilarious how much Zuko HASN'T learned the lesson that Ozai banished him for not knowing. Don't get me wrong; that's a good thing. This episode plainly shows that behaviour that pleases Ozai is behaviour that should be unlearned as quickly as possible.

Zuko completely missing the point of his mom's last instruction is delightfully on the nose. But it also makes sense, which I may talk more about later.

How did Zuko hold on to his temper (and his volume) for a whole episode?

How did a show named after the main character get away with an episode that doesn't feature him at all? As a concept, this is such a strange episode. The writers were like "how can we kick start the woobification of Zuko? I know! A Spaghetti Western!" and it worked. Who comes up with that?

I now want at least as much, if not more, of Sokka and Katara's childhood via flashbacks. And more Gyatso please. If they can devote a whole episode to the childhood of a guy who isn't even a team member yet, they can show me some Sokka childhood shenanigans as a palette cleanser.

I really don't know what conclusion to draw about this episode. The writers have given me a massive backstory/trauma dump and I'm honestly like:

[simplysedusa]

How do you think the girls and boys will make/maintain friendships? The relationships they have outside of each other intrigues me. Like the girls are instantly popular due to their heroic status but might have a hard time making friendships that don’t feel surface level. You mentioned before that Townsville’s acceptance for them is very conditional and I can see them developing a sort of trust issues as they catch on to this. Probably very few like Robin make their way inside their core group and know them outside of their superhero identities. The boys have it rough and they are aware that their reputation didn’t come out of nowhere and isn’t exactly unwarranted. All they’ve known is to rely on each other for all their lives and letting someone else in was never an option. Like the girls they trust each other unconditionally but still they wonder, one more than the other, about a connection that isn’t familial. A few of the school delinquents might feel bold enough to start talking to them but the boys have this thing about feeling used by people, so these losers trying to hire them to be their sort sort of super powered hitmen kind of rubs them the wrong way. One kid remarks ‘wow that was awesome how you handled [name of random bully] and they’re like ‘yeah it was.’

Asks like these always make me giddy, but I find it very difficult for me to formulate my thoughts because I have a lot to say and I wanna seem coherent, so bare with me, lol. 😁

Elementary school is easy for the Powerpuff Girls, everyone is friends with everyone so long as you're nice (for the most part). And when you're the city's beloved superheroes, making friends is as easy as breathing. Just look at how many girls they invited to their sleepover in "Slumbering With The Enemy".

Meanwhile, for the Rowdyruff Boys, making friends for them isn't even on their radar yet. There's a 50/50 chance they can't even define the word, "friend". Remember how I said Butch had the most codependent tendencies? All these three know are each other, and honestly, to them, they're all they need. I could see the boys "making allies" with those they believe to be on their level but given the current roster of Townsville villains, no one makes the cut. The Gangreen Gang (and my version of the Powerpunks) comes close, but they're frenemies at best. For my WIPs, the Powerpunks and Rowdyruffs (prior to being adopted by Ms. Keane), temporarily bond over some criminal activity until the Ruffs say some misogynistic shit and get their teeth kicked in.

Middle school age is where things get interesting. While I also feel that the Puffs have a few codependent tendencies amongst themselves, all three girls have strived to be individuals in their own right (as in "The Bare Facts", "Super Zeroes", "Three Girls and a Monster", etc.), so I'd imagine this to be the starting point of where their specific, individual friendship circles start to form. While attending school with superheroes would probably lose its appeal with middle schoolers, they'd still find the girls to be cool. Buttercup and Mitch would still be friends alongside the Floyjoydson Twins and whoever the athletes are. Blossom could be friends with Elmer, Clara, and others who are more studious. Bubbles would be the clique hopper who's still clinging on to her elementary school days, but her main clique could consist of the artists or the "weird kids". MTH has her main friend group be the kids from "Mojo Jonesin'" and I think that's perfect. Their only shared friend, and closest friend, would be Robin (and for my WIPs, Elmer and Mitch as well). The Puffs are still pretty young around this age, but they're also becoming teenagers (and that means, middle school drama *shudders*). This would be where the girls start to develop some edge to them. They don't seem as enthusiastic or peppy as they once were. They're not smiling as often as they used to. Perhaps they're a bit wittier. While the girls wouldn't mind saving the city and are still happy to do so, a few citizens of Townsville would see the differences between the 12-13 year old Puffs and the 5 year old Puffs and start complaining. For one specific WIP, the girls are homeschooled during this time so they're starving for social interaction. They've still managed to maintain their friendship with Robin, Elmer, and Mitch since Robin's their next door neighbor, Mitch sometimes stays the night when needed, and Elmer gets examined by the Professor due to his new glue abilities.

12-13 year old Ruffs would definitely get bored with each other and would want to start seeking social interaction elsewhere. Butch would be the least willing of the three to do so and start to stick to his brothers (mostly Brick) like glue. However, since the three get placed in a foster care group home for a few years, their opportunities to make friends are very, very limited and temporary. And again, no one really knows or understands what these three have gone through, so what would be the point? They'd definitely push people away with empty threats.

Now they're high schoolers. They've matured, but they're still teenagers. By this point, the rose tinted glasses are off and ineffective. The girls see how certain people react when Buttercup's caught sneaking out to go party at night. Or how annoyed certain people get with Bubbles' activism (protesting for animal rights, BLM, LGBT+, against genocides being committed across the globe (😉), etc). Or how others will see a clip of Blossom politely correcting an interviewer on robotic engineering and suddenly think of her as a pompous, arrogant know-it-all who needs to be humbled. How Townsville would see them at this point would be synonymous to how people view child stars who are maturing in the public eye. The girls have realized that Townsville's opinion of them could change at a blink of an eye, and that they had before (In "Major Competition" the girls are replaced by Major Man and are seen as less than. In "Down 'n' Dirty", an angry mob chases after a 5 year old for not bathing. In "The Rowdyruff Boys", the girls immediately assume that the city doesn't want them to defend them anymore after losing to the Ruffs. In the movie, the city (and the world) deems the girls to be bug eyed monsters. In "Save Mojo", animal rights activists interfere and temporarily stop the girls from fighting Mojo, deeming their actions to be cruel despite the evil schemes Mojo has attempted in the past). So, for the average peer, the girls would be friendly but cautious.

Another concern I see the Puffs running into would be clout chasers. Even if they're not as beloved as they once were as kindergarteners, these girls are still well known, they're practically famous. And anyone looking to better their social standing would see the girls as a perfect opportunity. Both Blossom and Buttercup are usually pretty good with sussing out acquaintances with ulterior motives (or at least Blossom, I could see Buttercup being manipulated somewhat easily), while Bubbles on the other hand gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, and often time gets manipulated for it.

I could see Buttercup having the most friends, I think she'd be the most popular of the three in a high school setting, but she wouldn't necessarily have many that she'd be able to be vulnerable with. It'd be pretty easy to make friends if you're partaking in sports, especially team sports in school. I'd imagine a few athletes get jealous and accuse Buttercup of cheating (despite the fact that in my WIPs, Professor Utonium invents a Chemical X tracker that shows when Chemical X is being used so people know when the Puffs or Ruffs are using their powers against other normies).

Blossom, to me, feels like she'd struggle the most individually in the friend-making department; I think she'd have the hardest time differentiating between when to be a superhero and when to just be a girl. She'd be popular in the sense that everyone knows her, and she's that smart girl you wanna pair up with for school projects, but not many would know her on a personal level. She'd be a bit of an enigma, and most would already believe her to be a narc (and simultaneously a hypocrite considering all of the crimes the Puffs had committed in the past).

Bubbles, on the other hand, would be the one throwing herself at others platonically and just casually trauma dumping about how she has the weight of the town's (and subsequently, the world's) safety on her shoulders, and how she feels that her childhood was essentially stolen from her. Somehow though, she'd have the most friends who know her outside of the superhero persona, but still less friends than Buttercup overall (or at least, real friends anyway).

In my HS WIP, the girls finally go back to public school during their sophomore year, so they might be a bit more naive, but you get the picture.

High school aged Rowdyruffs wouldn't be as hostile as their younger counterparts, but they're every bit as guarded. Any idiot who'd try to condemn them will be made into an example. Even so, there would be moments where they'd feel alienated, and perhaps this time around, they'd be much more honest about it.

Individually, Boomer might have it the easiest out of the three, since he looks like he'd be the least intimidating one and would be the most popular one as a star athlete of several sports teams. Even so, his reputation precedes him.

Butch, again being the most codependent brother, would be somewhat of a loner without his brothers around. He plays sports like Buttercup and Boomer, but his are individual based such as swimming, wrestling, and gymnastics. While both of these are great social outlets, I doubt many would go out of their way to talk to him. Butch (or Brick, maybe all three of them, idk) gives me the vibes of someone who'd sit beside you if you're all alone in a school library, the cafeteria, or a pep assembly (basically some place you can't easily escape) and just sit there in silence and see how you react. They'd see it as a challenge, filtering out who the pussies in school are and who passes the vibe check.

Brick's the most infamous of his brothers since he's the leader, so on one hand, he's the most feared. On the other hand, those who may not be the biggest fans of the Puffs might seek him out and attempt to befriend him through what they'd assume to be their mutual dislike/hatred of the girls (these people would piss him off, his past with the Puffs would be the last thing he'd want to talk about). Since Brick wouldn't be as involved in extracurriculars like Boomer or Butch, he wouldn't have as much of an opportunity. Brick's circle would be small, like two to three people tops. Most of his friends would probably be the kids he met in detention. Much like how he treated Bubbles in "Bubble Boy", I'd see Brick talking about the crimes he'd committed as some sort of vibe check.

In my HS WIP, most would steer clear until they've officially made up and befriended the girls. It'd be much harder for the boys to find friendships that aren't just surface-level (and that aren't the Puffs). At this point in their lives, I'd like to think they'd officially befriended the Gangreen Gang though, so that's something.

Adult Puffs and Ruffs would just cling on to whatever close friends they made in the past since befriending other adults is a challenge in itself.

[waltenfiled]

Joel has always liked the bittersweet smell of rain.

The way the concrete streets start to get damp, had been the only thing Joel knew as a kid, accompanied with the sounds of rain drops hitting roofs and vehicles; he wondered how little him would've reacted if he knew that future him still liked the rain, but instead of being trapped inside his house and watching the cars from the windows, he's in one.

And he's driving to his favourite restaurant, with a man who he could call his. He was sure tiny Joel would find it awesome, except for the love part, because he wasn't so sure of himself when he was young.

The thought was humorous to him but a small part of himself bloomed; he knows himself now, and he was with someone he loved, in a car, out in the rain and he's himself more than he's ever been.

He didn't know when he was pulled out of his thoughts, unironically as he had been so stuck wondering where his life took such a bright turn, but was still aware of the way his hands turned the steering wheels — absentmindedly tapping against the heated leather surface, the way he hummed out the tune of the song playing on the radio on lowest volume — but all he knew that he was glad, or he could've missed that beautiful smile on his lover's cheeks that he swore was being pointed at him.

"What're you smiling at?" He asked, taking a moment to look at him, exchanging between them a secret smile of their own, an expression that was just theirs in the moment — before turning his attention back to the road. it wasn't but a mere 3 seconds, but Fwhip had given him such an exasperated look like he had committed a scandal.

"Don't look away from the road!" He warned, and Joel nodded with a knowing smile, as he had been told off by him before. Just like this, in the same moments, in love have they been in all those bits of pieces now a memory in the past as they spent another one like the other.

Bickering, Smiling when the other knew they were doing so, Fighting lightheartedly over the songs they should play next; Many days were spent like this. The two in their own little comfortable world, only achievable in the confines of Joel's car, a different sort of bliss that they return to over and over again.

"Okay okay, but what were you smiling at?" Joel asked again, and the same sort of dazed smile crawled itself back onto Fwhip's face and he was sure it would take a million years, or more for him to get sick of it. Lovestruck; was this feeling called.

Fwhip shook his head. "Nothing," He responded, yet Joel gave him time to continue, because there was no such thing as nothing with him, Fwhip could say a thousand words, and all of those words, Joel knew — were surrogates for the three simple words I love you. He was talkative to his core, and Joel loved him for it.

"I mean, You were the one stuck in your head with that dopey little smile of yours, I feel like It should be me who asks what's up." Fwhip had said to him with a smile, bringing his left hand up to lightly nudge against Joel's shoulders, and that made Joel laugh. Had he been so lost in his head, recalling and remembering things so sweetly, that he had not noticed that he — himself, was smiling into a distance, too?

Fwhip smiled. "What were you thinking about?" and Joel thought, for a second; two seconds; until it delved dangerously to a minute. They had hit a red light, and that gave Joel the time to turn towards his lover to see him waiting still — patiently. It bordered on a minute, then it had been a minute and 5 seconds since Joel failed to answer.

"You," He said quietly, and Fwhip couldn't have fallen any deeper.

[my-writings-and-musings]

Firstly, I've just been dying to tell you I love your writting x3 it's absolutely fantastic! My favorite is the young liason ones. I think they're just the cutest! Would it be alright if I requested Fortress Maximus and Brainstorm for that? Please take all the time you need, and I hope you have an awesome day! You rock :D

Awww thanks a million!! I do strive to provide the cuteness, and I shall do so here! I'll also link the past Liaison posts for those who haven't read them yet!

Part One: Here!

Part Two: Here!

Part Three: Here!

Part Four: Here!

Part Five: You're Here!

(I've already done Fort Max in part four but I just couldn't help doing him again with a different setup.)

Fortress Maximus

·Stuck in his cell after his "incident", he's unaware of the liaison program when it initially begins, and is thus clueless of what goes on beyond his tiny space in the dark. Amongst the crew, the young humans quickly learn of the ship's considerable history in its short run, including the hostage situation that nearly cost them their beloved psychiatrist. The humans are shocked by the details, but none more so than the news the bot responsible is jailed up in the depths of the ship. All at once, they begin to question such a practice; wasn't this poor bot just acting out of pain? Hasn't his victim recovered and forgiven him? Being told that Fort Max is too dangerous to risk does nothing to dissuade them, and thanks to their youth, the gathered group soon hatches a plan to see something for themselves.

·As one might expect, Fort Max is beyond surprised when he's awoken at night by a number of very tiny visitors to his cell, and is shocked to see that they're all human! Autobot training kicking in, he's immediately concerned for their safety and gets on his knees to encourage them to leave. Lots of these prisoners are dangerous! To top off his shock, the humans say they're not lost and are there for him. They explain the new program with the Lost Light, how they heard his story, and how they're all here now to see him. For an instant Fort Max is speechless, because these tiny humans have just done more for him than the entire Autobot cause ever did. It takes more willpower than he cares to admit not to let his voice crack.

·Despite all of his assurance to the liaisons that what he did was wrong, and that he deserves to face punishment, they hear none of it. Even urging them to leave and stay on the safe parts of the ship go unheeded. They've decided that they like him and don't want him to be lonely. It's incredibly selfish, but he can't bring himself to deny the comfort their company brings him. Every night, with stealth granted by their tiny size, they visit him for as long as they can. Some bring games and entertainment from earth to share with him, and in time he gives up trying to convince them to stop, finding each one of them to be a treasure he just can't give up.

·It's mostly by bad luck they're eventually caught. Ultra Magnus just so happened to be conducting a late night inspection when he came across all the liaisons gathered about the supposedly deadly Fortress Maximus in what appeared to be a slumber party. The former Enforcer had immediately called for back up and demanded the children be released, not backing down when they all made the baffling move to clamor between the cell bars and shield the gigantic Autobot with their tiny frames. No amount of explaining the big bots potential danger could make them leave. Eventually Rung himself had to be summoned to mediate, and at the sight of Fort Max so carefully cradling his friends and begging that any punishment only come to him so they would be spared... The psychiatrist happily declared there was no need for such caution.

·Put on the spot, Ultra Magnus had decided to allow a partial commutation of the bots sentence. Though he's under watch and isn't permitted to have weapons, he's allowed to have his own room and far greater range of the ship, but under supervision. The liaisons accept only after Max does. In no time they're helping him settle into his room, bringing him housewarming gifts, and coming over as often as possible to visit. It almost doesn't feel real to the poor bot. In an almost comical turn of events he's been freed and has gone from loneliness to being surrounded by tiny, loving friends. Even Rung visits from time to time, joining in on the fun and making it clear he holds no ill will towards the big bot for anything that happened. As they all gather for another movie night together, it occurs to him that his painful past has never felt so far away, and for the first time in so long he feels ready for the future.

Brainstorm

·Ever the on the move genius, his curiosity had been piqued the instant he heard humans were going to be on the ship, as a new species is always a fascinating opportunity. He's not all dissapointed by the gaggle of bright eyed youngsters when he finally meets them. Their tour of the ship is quickly guided to his workshop, and in no time he's showing them all the fun ways he's breaking physics or on the cusp of doing so. Pretty soon the rest of the tour is delayed so they can see absolutely everything he's working on. Brainstorm finds their attitude of "science just because" to be monumentally refreshing in the wake of his occasionally stiff crewmembers. Why does he need a reason to experiment on certain things? Sometimes it's fun and invigorating to just invent something because you can!

·As he finds them incredibly motivating and they love helping however he can, he quickly gives each human permission to accompany him as his assistants. With their unique human perspective, he finds himself seeking out ideas that could benefit them directly, whether it's purely for their entertainment or for more practical purposes. Their need for "food" in particular offers a great deal of potential. He's not foolish about it, of course! These little guys are delicate! But if he can make delicious meals that can be stored easily and prepared instantly, why not? Humans need to eat multiple times every single day, why not make it easier and more fun! The hardest part proves to be getting them not to explode...

·The liaisons come to love the incredible energy he brings to every single experiment, and the feeling is mutual. Even if he doesn't understand the references to "Bill Nye" or other such things, he happily allows the humans to take selfies as he works. Spreading the word to their fellows on earth can only help their species catch up, after all. In time though, he starts to socialize with the group outside of his workshop, even bringing them to Swerve's with him to introduce them to all his friends. They stick to him the entire time even though their enthusiasm proves popular with every bot on the ship. Having often struggled to fit in, he finds the feeling of belongings refreshing in ways he never could have anticipated it might be. He'd protect each and every liaison with his life.

·It's quite unexpected when somebot brings up his... stunt, with the briefcase. He'd been so happy for once that his failures had simply... not registered. Thus, he's caught off guard when the humans start asking baffled questions. It's all he can do to mumble an excuse and leave, the confusion in their bright eyes burning into the core of his spark. So many instances of them looking up at him with respect and excitement now seem far more precious, because there's no way they'll ever want to be around him again. Now they know he isn't just the ship's eccentric scientist, and that at his most desperate he tore time and space apart... In hindsight, how could he have allowed himself to forget? He's dangerous, and the liaisons should have been kept distant to begin with... Humans are far too delicate to risk anything happening, and he never would have forgiven himself for allowing harm to come to them.

·Unbeknownst to Brainstorm, the entire group was far from aghast at his actions. If anything, they were heartbroken for his sake. To have been so desperate he'd happily tried to erase himself from existence, in part to save a bot he loved... They want at least to talk to him. Using skills he taught them, they hack past the gridlock on his workshop, and the scientist is shocked by their effort. Before he can say a word they're surrounding him and offering the most effusive of reasurances, particularly regarding how they never want to lose their beloved science bot, and he takes it upon himself to comfort the crying group with a promise he's not going anywhere. In an instant, something becomes incredibly clear to him; these little beings care about him. They don't want him to leave. Trying not to cry himself, he assures the group that he's long since learned his lesson. There's plenty of wonderful things in the present to stick around for.

[good-beans]

Alphonse Elric

LOL I forgot I'd put the ask game in my queue and I just like hell Yeah Alphonse Elric!! Anyway, thank you so much pal! :D this was so much fun!!

Favorite thing about them: his determination despite everything in his life being a disaster! With all the trauma he's gone through at such a young age, he never looses his childlike optimism, spirit, goofiness, and love for others. He always holds on to hope, even when it gets difficult for him to.

Least favorite thing about them: nothing??? He's an angel??? Hmm, but I guess sometimes I get that parental instinct watching the show like "no! You are a child! Stay out of this fight! Let the adults handle it Please don't put yourself in danger for others you're 14!" But then again that's also a real admirable quality sometimes

Favorite line: asdvgbk all I can think of are silly ones but I love the "Oh great, and now my arm's fallen off and my brother's a stupid idiot!" And literally every single bloopers quote "Fuck Yeah!" "I trying to save you asshole!" "What if I pushed you off this roof and broke the arm you just got back?" "He won't. That's the end." I'll get back to you on a legit line of his that I liked LOL 😂

brOTP: well, besides his literal bro, I loved he and Winry's friendship! Childhood friends who could bond over antagonizing Ed, still had a deep love for each other, and ended up family in the end just makes me soft. It was also really sweet seeing how he bonded with those chimeras -- just some grizzled adults touched by a kind and caring child, sticking with him as he travels the world is awesome

OTP: hmm, I wouldn't call it an OTP but I don't mind him and Mei either way! I don't think they're a bad couple and I can't see him ending up with really anyone else, but at the same time there wasn't really enough in the show to warrant any hard-core shipping from me

Random headcanon: I've always wanted to write a fic about it but never had the time -- I love the idea of Roy and Riza finding out he can't sleep, and taking turns staying up all night playing board games and chatting with him. He thinks they're just on night shift or something so he never questions I until much later. Because of that, he really bonds with them and also gets Extremely good at certain games which drives Ed crazy

Unpopular opinion: I guess just going back to I'm not crazy about him and Mei together. Nothing wrong with it, I just never would have seen them together on my own :/

Song I associate with them: Pluto by Sleeping at Last! I associate it with both the Elrics, it's a beautiful song and has a lot of lines that could be interpreted as talking about alchemy/his body situation/their drive to move forward

Favorite picture of them: these three immediately came to mind, as well as any of the goofy armor panels 😂 (I'll see of I can find the post with those because they're wonderful)

[finalheaven]

Hi guys here’s Sakurai’s interview from the Ultimania Material. It took a while to edit the translations and post because of Cloti Fall Festival, but here it is! 😊

Sakurai continues to be king. You can really tell how big of a fan he is not only of Cloud, but of FF7 in general. Oh and his favorite lines including conversations with Tifa? You love to see it!

More behind the cut~

Q: Please share your reaction when you first heard that FFVII Remake would be made.

A: In 2005, I went to Venice for the international film festival for FFVII Advent Children, and the topic of doing a FF7 remake came up during a break when I had a meal with Nomura and others. I remember at the time how they’d “like to make it a reality someday,” and I was unseemingly thrilled when they said “finally the time has come.”

Q: How did you feel when you knew that the development of Remake’s story would be a little different from the original FF7 and FF7: Crisis Core?

A: Honestly, I was surprised. I got input on what changes they were making little by little as I recorded, but they were not just making the game beautiful with current technology, but reworking the game’s world to be reborn… I remember getting chills when I understood the meaning of “REMAKE.”

Q: What kind of performance plan did you have in mind for playing Cloud in this FFVII?

A: Just about all FF related titles were made with the instruction and direction by director Nomura and sound producer Shimizu. This time I also had the stance of “understand the general story and the rest will be at recording”. Cloud was made by many people and I devoted myself in expressing that.

Q: The development staff had the intention of “wanting to show an uncool Cloud in Remake”, so what did you keep in mind for that?

A: FFVII released in 1997 was text based, but I had the impression that Cloud acted cocky and young in the opening (laughs). Even in the Remake, I believe that his unstableness was thoroughly expressed. Him feeling “uncool” is up to the discretion of the player, so I’d be happy if they could see that as a human touch... Even uncool Cloud is meaningful, and quite nice.

Q: What kind of impression did you get from Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie, who are more realistic than in the original and voiced for the first time?

A: Sure enough, the presence of these three was big. They’re a part that I, who experienced the original FFVII in real time, strongly felt once again in the Remake. The characters stood out visually and were very appealing. When looking at them from Cloud’s perspective, his attachment to them is extraordinary.

Q: Among all the repeated “Cloud is frightened by Sephiroth scenes” in the Remake, which one was the most impressionable?

A: All the scenes with Sephiroth were terrifying, but the most impressionable was the Lifestream. I was surprised he showed up there. Players that know the progression of the original FFVII were no doubt taken aback. Suddenly an unknown FFVII is shown on the screen and leaves my eyes wide open. Is it a new future, or…

Q: Please share what kind of things you kept in mind during the scenes in the flower field where Cloud could talk with Aerith, Tifa, or Barret on the night before rescuing Aerith from Shinra.

A: This “variables that change who he talks to [that night]” aspect is one of the real charms of the Remake. I don’t remember the details when recording, but I was vigilant for Barret’s scene. Kobayashi’s Barret flies far beyond my imagination in a different direction than I expected, so there were many times when I would get caught up with that enjoyment and end up having Cloud’s character be off… I believe that this destructive force came out from Kobayashi’s unique potential. It’s not fair that he hums the victory fanfare melody (laughs).

Q: What kind of performance instruction was there for your rapid line of, “I don’t need your feedback, there was no other way,” when Tifa notices crossdressed Cloud? 

A: I was ready for it (laughs). Those are words prepared when assuming a situation he couldn’t avoid. He's frustrated and resentful, embarrassed, and he’s talking to Tifa; that line is a result of mixing various emotions.

Q: When Cloud got a hand massage, that was an unimaginable reaction from his usual self, but what were you careful of when recording that scene?

A: For that scene at the massage parlor, I tried to see how far they would permit an aggressive performance. I recorded around 3 different recordings and did not know which one they would use. That’s how amazing Madam M’s technique was… how about it (laughs).

Q: What is your most memorable Cloud line in the Remake?

A: That’d be “not interested”. That’s all.

Q: Were there any lines and scenes from the original game that you especially wanted to act out?

A: This would also be “not interested”. Other than that, there were many conversations with Tifa, but it was fun to have Cloud make slightly out of place comments. Scenes where he’s messed with by Avalanche were also enjoyable.

Q: Please share if you have any unforgettable memories while recording.

A: I was very excited to see the game footage while recording, even if it wasn’t finished yet. I was like, “Awesome!!” But I’d be embarrassed to expose that to the staff, so I played it cool.

Q: After the Remake, has your impression regarding Cloud changed?

A: It hasn’t. Experiencing a massive scenario has actually deepened my understanding better. I was able to update myself a little bit with Cloud’s input.

Q: What do you think makes Cloud so appealing?

A: Sure enough, Cloud’s cool! His appeal has increased in the Remake. I believe that being able to see his slightly off, quite human side from his existing image is a plus for him.

Q: Please share your expectations and enthusiasm for upcoming Remake projects.

A: I’m always ready to go! I could go right now! I can’t imagine what happens next so I’m a little scared, but even so I want to know what happens! And I want to play it as soon as possible! I’m really looking forward to the Gold Saucer. I’m eagerly waiting for it!!

Q: Please give a message to fans of the FFVII series.

A: I’m happy to be able to participate in a historical work as an actor, but my happiness as a fan wins over. I have also been waiting for this time like all of you. We just have to wait for the next one. Let’s share the joyful moments that will eventually come!

Notes:

Translated by tsubomi from FH

Edited by lockharts from FH

HQ scans provided by mayaaris from FH

Follow @finalheaven​ and @bestofcloti on Twitter for more content.

[aegonbeingfakeisracist]

@severelyuniquebarbarian I’m going to take this as an opportunity to discuss the ways all the tie in books connect with the main series in depth. 😂 Forgive me.

The tie in books fall into two categories, really: the Megamorphs and the Chronicles. The Megamorphs are very similar to the main series, with the same characters, but they’re longer and told from alternating perspectives, rather than the single PoV of each main series book - so basically an adventure-of-the-week with some body horror and trauma thrown in. The first two I don’t really have strong feelings about - one’s a standard “Visser Three has come up with a plan to trap us, and we must find a solution” with some convenient amnesia thrown in, and the other involves them going back in time to the Cretaceous period and running away from dinosaurs because the series was written by a pair of Star Trek nerds. I enjoy them, but if I’m being totally honest, a lot of that is childhood fondness carried through to adulthood, so someone reading for the first time as an adult probably wouldn’t miss it if they were to skip them, especially because the ending of MM 2 should be important in a character arc way but isn’t. The third and fourth Megamorphs are awesome, though - one’s time travelling to stop another time traveller from screwing with history and the other is a for-want-of-a-nail story about what would have happened if they never cut through the construction site. I really love them and would recommend them, but not nearly as strongly as I would the Chronicles.

Now onto the Chronicles! Those are basically the prequels. They provide a lot of the context of the war to explain the Yeerk war with the Andalites, what went down on the Hork Bajir homeworld, how the Yeerks ended up on Earth, and so on. These are what I’m really talking about when I say that a lot of my favourite material comes from the side stories. These are a lot more relevant than the Megamorphs, even though they don’t feature the main characters of the core series beyond just framing devices, for a couple reasons. The first is just for thematic reasons - Animorphs is fundamentally a story about war, and the contextualization that the Chronicles provide is essential to conveying the scope of that theme. But also, they’re plot relevant, which is true in many ways. There’s a reveal in book 23 of the main series that comes out of absolutely nowhere if you haven’t read the Andalite Chronicles first (I will refrain from going on a tangent about 90s childrens publishing), plus the plot is driven by a character that you’ll know nothing about if you haven’t read THBC. In 34, a different character shows up that was introduced in the Hork Bajir Chronicles, and the entire book revolves around what went down in that prequel. The Ellimist Chronicles takes place in the middle of book 54. More broadly, character actions and motivations have a great deal to do with these past events.

Visser is kind of the odd book out. I used to think it should have been categorized as a Chronicles, but I no longer think it’s as like the others as I once thought. The Andalite and Hork Bajir Chronicles fit very naturally as part of a set. The Ellimist Chronicles is different, but it’s also very much a young alien coming of age standalone story. Visser is...not that. And even from a plot level, it doesn’t match - the Chronicles are essentially whole book flashbacks that don’t involve the actual Animorphs as characters. Visser shifts back and forth between the past and the present. It’s a really great book, but the more I think about it, the stranger it is that it exists as something so different from the rest of the series. It’s biggest similarity to the Ellimist Chronicles is a very specific storytelling choice - they’re both technicallly side stories that don’t impact the main plot, but the framing devices are such that they fit in very specific places in the main series, which TAC and THBC do not - you just have to read those before 23 and you’ll be fine. But TEC, like I said, takes place within 54, and 35 leads directly into Visser. 

A while ago, I wrote a spreadsheet for a friend containing which books I insist she read and which she can skip, plus a little info about each one. Here is a snippet:

Anyway. None of this is relevant. You just gave me an opening and I pounced. 😂 TL;DR: they’re great, read them.

[samatedeansbroccoli]

1, 8, and 15 for Adler's Little Fish please? <3

Wait you read that fic????That's so awesome!!!

Alright, this got really, really long. And so I've put it all under the break.

Wanna ask me a question? Check out the post here!

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

Honestly, it was really to headcanon dump on Adler, and tell a story from the view of a 7 year old, while also exploring Soviet Culture of the 70s and early 80s, and highlighting an 80s outlook on disorders and medications. Additionally, there's the part about child soldiers, and while Bell has a few fictional tools to help her, the core principles of being a child bred into death are somewhat intact. And all under the name of comedy. The reason for that is because Bell is too young to understand most all that happens to her, so her only goal is to play with Adler and have a good time because he's taking care of her well enough she doesn't need to worry about herself.

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

TLDR: Three inspirations: Loung Ung, unnamed children of Vietnam, and RowdyRogan.

Loung Ung is the author of First They Killed My Father: A Daughter of Cambodia Remembers (it was turned into a movie recently but I didn't watch it). In that book, Loung was born into a large privileged family and lived a good life up until the Khmer Rouge army stormed the city and drove her family out with no preparation ahead of time. They were sent to the rice fields where 5-year-old Loung watched her family get picked off by soldiers one by one. Because of her feisty personality and notable strength, now 8-year-old Loung was recruited by the Khmer Rouge to become a child soldiers, in which she learned how to fight with other children who were 10-12. When the genocide ended, Loung and a sibling was brought to the U.S. to start a proper education and grow up there. She returned later to Cambodia where she met another sibling who survived and was able to help Loung with the details of the genocide to write her book.

Vietnamese children were quite common among American camps during the Vietnam War. Many times, it was because Vietnamese women were hired to do soldier's laundry, provide medical assistance, and basically do a lot of housework chores. And the children would follow their mothers. The soldiers, meanwhile, loved playing with the children. While this would sometimes lead to children planting bombs in the camps, many times it was pretty peaceful overall. American Soldiers always knew when something was about to go down because the children would disappear. Whether something happened today, tomorrow, or next week, who knows, but that's how they could tell.

In October 2020, FaZe clan announced a competition called the FaZe 5. The competition allowed YouTubers and content creators to compete for five sponsored spots in which they would be paid by FaZe for their content, and helping broadcast FaZe's name across gaming communities in hopes of creating teams in more games (for reference, FaZe clan just got a Rocket League team this year, 2021. Rocket League was released in 2015). One of those competitors was 5-year-old streamer RowdyRogan, who is best known for his insane Warzone gameplay. Though RowdyRogan is just one, there are thousands of kids under 10 who play Call of Duty, and so it's highly likely that a 7-year-old played the campaign as Bell.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

That Warfarin came from a lab accident.

jkjk (but not really) I think the biggest thing I've learned from writing the fic is how to write long chapters. My previous fic before that one was 1.6K. The first chapter of ALF was 2.3K. The second 4.9K. And now I'm typing about 9K words each chapter. It's helped build my confidence in making a longer story and holding the reader's attention for that long, and encouraged me to pursue long one-shots, something that I've always wanted to do but didn't have the confidence nor will to try.

[catlynhoss05]

How Far We’ve Come Ch. 2

Tony DiNozzo x sister!reader Jethro x reader

Tony DiNozzo x sister!reader Jethro x reader

Summary: (Y/n) gets home from deployment and surprises her older brother, Tony DiNozzo. What she didn’t expect was to fall head over heels in love with Leroy Jethro Gibbs. (You guys remember in season 14 where Alex Quinn and Nick Torres’s desks were facing each other? That’s how (Y/N) and McGee’s desks are.)

     (Y/N) sighed, running her hand through her short platinum blonde hair as she leaned back in her chair. She was set up at a temporary desk while things got figured out. She was now doing all the required paperwork that needed to be done for her to become an agent. ‘Man, this is taking forever.’ She thought to herself as she continues working on her paperwork. (Y/N) didn’t expect the paperwork to take this long and required so much reading. “Hey, sis. How’s the paperwork going?” Tony asked as he leaned up against his desk. “It’s taking forever, Tony. I honestly did not expect this much paperwork. I just want to be done with it.” (Y/N) groaned, resting her head in her hands. “At least you have two more papers to do. It’ll be worth it, I promise.” Tony said, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Thanks, Tony.” (Y/N) gives him a half smile.

     When (Y/N) had finished her paperwork and gave it to HR, it was about 2 o’clock in the afternoon. As (Y/N) walked back into the bullpen, she wasn’t so sure on what she was supposed to do now. So, she had decided to go sit down at her desk that was next to Tim’s. “Hey, (Y/N).” Ziva called out from her desk. “Yeah, what’s up?” (Y/N) asked. “Has Tony always been so...?” “Tony? Yes, he has. Oh, the stories I could tell you about our childhood.” (Y/N) chuckles. “Those’ll have to wait, (Y/N). Got a dead Lieutenant. Grab your gear.” Gibbs says as he walks into the bullpen and to his desk. “Me too, Gibbs?” (Y/N) asked, standing up from her desk. “Yes, you too. And, here’s your badge and gun...... Probie.” Gibbs gives his signature smile as he hands her her stuff. He turns on his heel, making his way to the elevator where the other three agents are waiting. (Y/N) smiles and grabs her new NCIS jacket off the back of her chair and hurries to the elevator with the rest of the team.

     Once the team arrived to the crime scene, (Y/N) notices that the crime scene was in an alley way next to a country line dance type of bar. “Man, I love me a good line dance.” She said as she walked up to Gibbs. “You like line dancing?” Gibbs asked, smiling. “Yes, sir. I have soft spot for everything country. Especially line dancing and old western movies. So, what-” (Y/N) was interrupted by an excited McGee. “Boss, you’ve got to hear (Y/N) sing. She is amazing.” McGee said excitedly. “Look, I was in the back of the van and the song ‘My Maria’ by Brooks and Dunn had come on and I just couldn’t resist to NOT sing along. Can we please get to work now?” (Y/N) blushes. “I like that idea. (Y/N), do crime scene photos. Ziva, bag and tag. DiNozzo and McGee, get witness statements.” Gibbs barks out.

     “Hey, (Y/n). You should tell Gibbs about those home movies that we’ve made.” Tony chuckled. “Just get to work, Anthony. I’m a Sniper and I will end you.” (Y/n) said, starting to take the crime scene photos. “What do we have, Duck?” Gibbs asked as he crouched beside Ducky. “Well Jethro, looks like he was beaten with a hollow object. I do believe that either this blow to the head or this needle mark on his neck had killed our Lieutenant. I’ll know more when I get him back to autopsy.” Ducky explains. Gibbs stands up from where he was crouched down at when he sees Tony and McGee were walking back over to the scene.

     “What did you guys find out from the witnesses?” Gibbs asked. “They all pretty much said the same thing. They all saw Lieutenant Andrews having some drinks with some buddies for a few hours, but didn’t see the Lieutenant leave. That was all that they remembered.” McGee explained. “There was one guy though, Alan Michaels. He said he saw a man about 5′8″, red hair, medium build, follow Lieutenant Andrews out of the bar last night.” Tony said. "Did you get his number just in case we may need him, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked. "Yes, boss."

     Once (Y/n) was done taking the crime scene photos, she was making her way over to Gibbs, McGee and Tony when a truck's exhaust backfires. The sound of the exhaust backfiring triggers a bit of (Y/n)'s PTSD that she didn't know that she had. The noise makes her drop to her knees and covers her ears with her hands while she still had the camera strap hanging from her neck. Tony and McGee take notice of (Y/n)'s actions when she goes down to her knees and run over to her. "Hey, hey, hey. (Y/n), it's okay. You're okay. Just breathe." Tony says to her as he's on his knees in front of her.

     Gibbs ran over to the commotion to see if he could be of any help. "N-No..... Make it stop. M-Make it stop, please." (Y/n) begged. "(Y/n), it's okay. It's over; it's all over. It was just a truck exhaust that backfired." Tony soothed as he pulled (Y/n) into a hug. After a few minutes of hugging, she spoke up. "I think I'm good now, Tony. Thank you." Tony pulled away and helped his sister up off of the ground. "No problem. But, are you sure that you're okay?" He asked. "Yes, Tony. I'm okay and I'm sorry if I had scared you guys. I never had that happen before." She said as she looked at McGee and Gibbs. "It's okay, (y/n). We're just glad that you're okay." McGee reassured her. She gave him a shy smile in return. "I've been home now for two weeks and not returning back to home base anymore is something I still haven't gotten use to. But the hard part of being home was having to bury two of my Marine brothers." (Y/n) explained to the agents. Gibbs knew all to well how that was like when he had gone through the same thing and then some. "Anyway....." (Y/n) sighed. "I was actually just coming over to tell you, Gibbs, that I'm done with the crime scene photos. Oh, and that Ducky and Palmer are done as well and are actually loaded up and ready to go." (Y/n) explained. "Alright. (Y/n), you ride with me this time and the you two and Ziva take the van." "Yes, sir." (Y/n) gave McGee the camera and started to follow Gibbs back to the squad car.

     The car ride back to the office had started out pretty quiet between Gibbs and (y/n). "So, does Vance know about your fallen brothers?" Gibbs asked as he glanced over at her. "Yes, he does. That's why I didn't come back into the office to start filling out the rest of my paperwork right away. I, uh...... Had to bury one of my brothers the other week and then my other brother last week with some time in between to cope with the losses." (Y/n) rubbed her face and sighed. "Do you mind if I turn on the radio?" She asked. "It doesn't work." Gibbs chuckled, earning a smirk from (y/n). Gibbs had started developing feelings for the young agent since the moment they met. He had a suspicious feeling that she had the same feelings for him by the lingering looks and the way she occasionally looked away when they made eye contact.

     “So, what are these home movies that Tony was talking about?” Gibbs asked with a chuckle. (Y/n) groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. “When I decided that I was going to enlist in the Core, it was like two weeks before I graduated high school. Tony and I had made this promise with each other....” She trailed off. “We made this promise that before I left for boot camp and for whenever I came home on leave, we would make as many home movies as we could before I had to leave again.” (Y/n) explained with a smile as she recalled the memories. “What were the movies about?” Gibbs asked curiously.

     “We played the piano and sang random songs together for some of them. Then there were some where either Tony or myself played the piano while singing as the other would make up some random dance behind the other. And then the rest were just of us in the kitchen acting like we were professional chefs and making complete fools of ourselves.” She laughed as she described the home movies. Gibbs smiled and laughed along with her as he pulled into the parking lot and parked the car. Gibbs and (y/n) made their way back into the NCIS building. They were in the elevator back up to the bullpen when (y/n) spoke up. “I’m sorry if I had scared you at the crime scene today. That’s never happened before and I’m pretty sure it’s from what I experienced in the Core.” (Y/n) apologized.

     “It’s alright. I’m just glad that you’re okay.” Gibbs said, giving her a reassuring smile. “Oh, I almost forgot. Do you have any plans this weekend? Because, I need some help with the moving truck and getting everything into my apartment. I’ll even order us some take out. What do you say, Gibbs?” (Y/n) asked. “Of course I’ll help. I can bring the beverages. Beer or Bourbon?” He asked. “Uh, duh. Bourbon!” “Deal.” Gibbs chuckled. He loved the way she smiled at him and the way she looked at him with a sparkle in those big brown eyes of hers. “Thanks, Gibbs. I’m just glad that I made a deal with my landlord. And that I have a pretty awesome boss too.” (Y/n) chuckled, lightly bumping shoulders with Gibbs.

     When everyone on team Gibbs had gotten back to the office, it had been a couple of hours or so and every lead that had came through was a dead end. Until (y/n) came across Lieutenant Skylar Andrews’ phone records. “Found something.” She spoke up as she did some more digging on the phone records. “What did you find, (y/n)?” Gibbs asked, coming over to her desk. “I think that the Lieutenant was gay.” She said, looking up at Gibbs. “You think?” He quirked an eyebrow at her. She raised her eyebrows at him and leaned back in her chair. “May I continue or do you wanna do this instead?” She challenged. Gibbs chuckled and shook his head. “Go on.”

     (Y/n) smirked and sat back up. “Well, the Lieutenant had made a lot of calls and had messaged the same number for the last two years. I’ve gone through and read some of the very detailed messages to where I came to know that he, in fact, was gay. He was calling and messaging his boyfriend of two years.” (Y/n) explained. “And how do you know for sure that he was gay and contacting his boyfriend?” Tony asked. “The messages were very detailed and by very detailed, I mean there were VERY graphic photos too.” She explained again. “If that’s the case, then how do we catch our guy?” Tim asked. “You can send two of us into the bar acting as a gay military couple to lure the man out. Then we can catch him there.” (Y/n) said to Gibbs and waited as he thought about it for a minute.

     “Ziver. You and (y/n) go into the bar tonight as a couple But, what’s our game plan here?” Gibbs asked. “Do you know how to line dance, Ziva?” (Y/n) asked. “Yes, but I haven’t been line dancing in a few years.” Ziva answered. “Okay. C’mon, David. We gotta practice line dancing before tonight. Oh, and Gibbs. What uniform should I wear?” (Y/n) asked. “Wear your fatigues.” “Got it, boss. And, Tony. I got a hotter girlfriend than you do.” (Y/n) joked.

[writing-frenzy]

Airplane Crossing Over Plots~

Like it says on the tin, these were ideas I had for crossovers involving our fav writer~ (EDIT: Thank you @guiltycorp for inspiring this a bit XD)

Now, I’ve mentioned before, with Airplane choosing the go home option, he ends up still with a golden core in all this mess but he needs to cultivate his body really carefully because of it. (come on, he put in all the time and effort to be an immortal master, he should be able to still have his bad ass skills; not to mention with it being a soul thing, because a golden core is just as spiritual as it is physical, so he will definitely still have it.)

So, sealing his core and having his Nascent Soul outside his body to relieve some of the pressure on it, (having it look like a little chibi SQH that usually hangs out in hoodie pockets or hiding in Airplane’s hair with an aura of disguise around it), Airplane has to go and actually work out, which isn’t too much of a hardship for him at least, seeing as he’s had years to get into a routine and survival instincts kicking in to help him out there.

And, he may have actually started taking school seriously again, actually applying himself, maybe even getting an online accounting job to help supply his income. When he’s steady with that, he finishes PIDW the way he had been leading up to, the ending that makes the most sense and satisfices the writer the most (and if it gives him some closure, he isn’t saying anything about that.) Now that he is finally free from PIDW, and has college and work to worry about, he writes whenever he damn well pleases, and whatever he wants to fuck what anyone says.

(He might or might not write some absolutely filthy porn whenever the mood hits him, and cackles how his fans both greedily read it and cry because his newer works are so tragic, even if they have happy endings at times. Yes, Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky is a porn writer, but first and foremost is he an angst writer more~ His fan’s tears and cries just make him stronger kind of writer~)

(I just honestly want Airplane to write what he wants to now, that is one of the biggest motives behind all this honestly)

So, we have the set up :D let’s get to what we can cross over here~

First Up: ~Cutivation Group Chat~

Come on, how can one resist this? Plopping good old Airplane into this wild ride is one of the few things that makes me so happy in life. The thought of it makes me grin, especially since it can go two ways in my opinion~

First way: Airplane replaces Song Shuhang; like, just seeing Airplane, who was an Immortal Master and Teacher in those situations would be so funny, yet intriguing as well to see how he handles it, because you know he’ll be able to, just in ways no one ever expects. (Besides, that werid luck of Shuhang’s would be perfect for him, tho he won’t seek death like the other would~ :D Airplane still has a lovely sense of self-preservation~)

Second way: Airplane is one of Song Shuhang’s roommates. (for this, I’m going to say their Dorm was big enough for five peeps, because I want Airplane to have more friends damn-it.) Just... the imagery of the two neutral disasters getting into so much mayhem and hijinxs together, giving Song Shuhang not only a friend/brother in arms he can always depend and rely on, but also a steady source for learning and cultivation as well :D

(Also, Airplane and Gou Moumou being writer friends, the two of them able to bounce ideas on to each other (oh god, now you have inspired me, how dare you make me write this./hahahaha, you know you want too/ bitch turnabout is fair play/ ah fuck.) also: just the image of Airplane meeting Senior White and being completely unaffected because not only is his survival instincts going in overdrive, but also:

Airplane: ? He’s not my type.

Everyone: *jaws dropped*

:D Anyways~

Second Idea: Card Room (Rebirth)

Now First, for those who don’t know Card Room (Rebirth), this is an action/survival/mystery thriller BL Unlimited Flow type of novel; it follows one Xiao Lou, a medical professor who specializes with examining the dead, and his journeys through multiple rooms after having died in reality, the difficulty of each of these rooms measured with Playing Cards from 2 to K and with different types of rooms being sorted by their suits of Hearts (Mystery), Diamonds (Puzzle), Spade (Survival), Club (Luck/Money). The Goal of the story is to beat all the rooms and return back to the world of the living once more. To aid in this, people can get special cards to help them fight/ take care of their health/ or even just daily life essentials to be able to actually get through places. 

So... this means after getting all used to living once more and getting into his grove in the modern world... Airplane unfortunately kicks the bucket, yet again! Thing is, this time it happened after he played a card game with some of his roommates, I’m going to say poker, and they were betting who would do what chores. Aiplane managed to make out pretty well, and was pleased with it, so was very much bummed when he ended up dying yet again.  He goes through the room, some by the skin of his teeth, but with his cultivation abilities still usable (can’t stop something on a soul level here) he gets by okay. Though, all his cards either deal with writing, supplies, and the rare cultivation one at times.

He gets by at least.

Now, because this series gives me some emotions, here is one thing I will say: Airplane and Liu Ying end up partnering up and break through together, because damn it, Liu Qiao and her sis deserve some damn happiness ;-; Maybe Airplane and Liu Ying meet by chance, Airplane impressed by the young woman’s intelligence and Liu Ying can in turn be grateful for Airplane’s resourcefulness. Maybe even include the original girl that Liu Ying teamed up with, So we have three people already in your team to survive! (because surviving the rooms 2-4 is already damn amazing considering how hellish they get :D ) 

This is a fun crossover for me to imagine honestly, because it would be perfect to showcase Airplane’s skills in logic, reasoning, and pure survival our boy is known for; let that resourceful and logistic riddled mind out to play as he fights to get the fuck out of this world, even if The City of the Moon is beautiful and all.

:D So, those were the ideas I would like to really see, but here is some more for anyone curious:

Honorable Mentions: These are ones I would love to see Airplane accidently going into, and just going yikes, or nope! or even ‘Really?’

Lord of End of World:

... This story, it concerns me greatly; I like the worldbuilding, even has a few really cool girls in it, and I find the protagonist rather curious (to an extent, blackened Gary Stu that he is...) but does it make me cringe at times with the underage theme to it; it’s part of their cultivation and all, but god damn does the way this story push some of it really sqink me out, I had to drop it because it made me so uncomfortable, so just a heads up there. this is one of those stories that makes me want to write spite fiction, but also make me cringe at the thought of remembering it at times.

Anyways, so, how it boils down to it is that this poor guy, known as the Young Master of the Unground Palace, was abused in all the ways one can practically be abused, just so their Master can get stronger themselves by forming the perfect cauldron to absorb, but who manages to kill their master only to die as well. He ends up transmigrating into Gong Lixin, a 16 year old wealthy young master about a year (I believe) before the apocalypse happens... (Like I said, I have so many damn issues with this damn story, I cry.)

Just, on one hand, imagining Airplane in this world also makes me laugh (and maybe hope), because maybe here Gong Lixin could actually learn a cultivation style thats not only suited to him, but also doesn’t need him to dual cultivate all the time and rely on cauldrons (maybe get some needed therapy as well, Airplane knows some peeps; I can dream~), he can have a stable, reliable teacher here who will have no lust or attraction to him, Airplane helping the kid out at first because they look like they’re recovered from a really bad Qi-Devitation and the teacher in him can’t leave that alone. Airplane can also relate with the youth about transmigrating, maybe even telling him about his own time with that. (And Airplane can use his own cultivation to smack around any bitch looking sideways at his student, because fuck that shit, he is only seventeen and traumatized.) Just, turning this story into a cute mentor and discipleship and emotional healing would make me so happy.

Monster Inn Rectification Report

So, this is another Transmigration story~ MC transmigrates as a poor canon fodder son, who would have ended up in a vegetable state after being neglected in favor of the super amazing awesome adopted son. He then goes on to accidently inheriting a supernatural end for Monsters~

Like, this idea makes me grin evilly; though things will change up a bit, since both of Airplane’s parents have already split up and have their own families? Just, the Former An Ding Peak Lord running an Inn? :D Building it from ground up from bascially nothing? :D Oh, man, this man has run worse things, and even a Demon Kingdom, he got you~

Supernatural Movie Actor App

Its a BL about a guy with a split personality who does realistic (as in for real) horror movies through an app, to get his wish to come true.

This actually goes really good with my idea of Airplane wanting to be an actor and all, only to have his dreams crushed :D He doesn’t at first realize what he is getting into when he gets the app, thinking it might be a chance for him to still be able to do his dream, only, surprise, surprise, he ends up entering a real life Horror movie environment~ I’m really curious about what he would dream about~

I Have Medicine

:D Airplane and Gu Zuo interactions make me smile~ these two would be so fun, seeing them bounce off each other would be a treat.

So What if You’re Reborn

.... hahahahahaha, oh, the chaos that could be unleashed in this timeline would be glorious~

Running Away From the Hero

:)

[jawritter]

The Arrangement

Part 8

Summery: You are a young girl that was raised in a small church in Dallas, TX. One of the only churches left in the state that still practices arranged marriages. When your betrothed ran off to California you thought you'd escape the fate you were trained for ever since a small child. Now upon the death your parents your fate seemed to be inescapable as he's returned, and is ready to take you as his bride.

Book Warnings: Arranged marriage, loss of virginity, smut, unprotected sex, angst, language, suicide attempt, battles with anxiety, struggles with mental illness, age gap (about 11 years), I think that’s it, chapters will have warnings of their own!

Chapter Warnings: Almost smut, feels, angst, that’s pretty much it

Word Count: 1693

A/N: This book is a book about Christian and church based arranged marriages, I would like to take this moment to say that I DO NOT have ANYTHING against the Chirstian faith, and mean absolutely no harm to anyone! Especially Jensen’s family! This is a complete work of fiction, and should be treated as such!

Beta’d by the amazing @deanwanddamons who was awesome enough to do all this for me! It was a lot of work, and she deserves all the praise for it!!

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Want More? Check Out My Masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***SERIES MASTERLIST***

Jensen's POV:

Jensen sat alone in the early morning hours on the back porch of the hillside home he and Y/N had been living in for the past week, a cup of coffee steaming on the table next to him, mostly untouched. 

He watched as the sun was just starting to reach pink over the trees, stretching odd colored rays of sunlight through the tall trees, and into the clearing of the backyard. 

A light mist hung low over the grass from a rain storm that came through sometime in the middle of the night. It was as close to autumn as you could get in Texas. Cooler weather didn't come very often, and when it did you took advantage of it, because it sure wasn't going to last very long.

Everything seemed damp, still, a cool crisp to the air. One not cold enough to make you light the fireplace, but cool enough to make you throw on a light sweater. 

Adjusting to this new life he was starting with Y/N had been easier for him than he thought it would be. She did mostly everything, and that was one thing he wasn't used to at all. She cooked him usually three meals a day, she cleaned, she did everything that he used to watch his grandmother and mother do as a child. It was a strange change from having to hire someone to do all those things, to having someone who would rather do it herself.

It made him wonder if his previous marriage was more of a sham than what he really realized. It also made him question his take on life in general. He still felt slightly guilty over not doing this when he should have done it years ago, and he couldn't help but wonder how different his life would have been, and how different Y/N’s life would have been, if he’d have stayed and married her like was always planned, instead of running from everything like a scalded dog. 

She was still very distant to him, and he was a little afraid that she may be afraid of him. So he hadn't tried to be intimate with her again. He hadn't even left the house with her. He didn't want to make her feel like a hostage, he just didn't want to dump too much on her at one time. 

It was a Sunday, and was forecasted to be a pretty day in Texas, so today he thought he'd make the best of it and take Y/N down to the boardwalk. Let her look around the shops and things that are down there, get her out of this house for a little while, maybe even go have lunch with Jared and Gen. More than likely they would be grilling today, seeing as it was Sunday, and it was a pretty day.

Jared had been on to him since the news broke that he'd remarried. It didn't take long once the pastor had filed the marriage license in the courthouse before people found out that he and Y/N had married. That was another reason he'd been hanging around the house for a week, and not leaving. He wasn't ready to expose her to that world. He also wasn't ready to share her with the world just yet either. They barely knew each other, why should he share her, when he didn't even really know her himself yet?

Still, he knew that his business being blasted all over the place was just part of his life. It was a choice he made though, not her. Why should she be subjected to such scrutiny, just because she was married to him. People were mean. That's that. 

Running his hands through his hair in frustration he started to second guess the whole getting out day thing he had planned. Maybe they'd just go to Jared's later after they'd spent some more time together. 

He wanted more than anything to make Y/N fall in love with him. He didn't want all those nasty people on the internet and in tabloids pushing her farther away from him. This part was harder than he ever thought it would be.

Your POV:

Fighting against the sleep intruder that was the sunlight invading your peaceful sleep, you roll over to find the side of the bed that Jensen and yourself had been sharing cold. Meaning it was probably pretty late in the morning, and Jensen was already out of bed. 

Stretching your body, trying to get yourself to function enough to where you could wake up and go make breakfast for the two of you, you felt the bed dip with Jensen's weight, pulling your body close to his as he took his place on the side of you.

"I was just coming in to check on you when I saw you moving around." he said, nuzzling his face into your neck, planting little kisses from your jawbone to shoulder.

"I'm sorry I overslept. Give me a minute and I'll get your breakfast fixed." you tell him as he continues his kissing.

"M'not hungry, rather lay here with you." Jensen said, pulling you closer to his warm body and you couldn't help but melt into him. Jensen normally, or at least normally from what you can guess from only being with him for a week, wasn't that affectionate. He had his little things that he did all time. Holding your hand, kissing your cheek, sitting with this arm around you on the couch while you were watching TV, but he never basically refused to let you away from bed this way.

Rolling your body you face him and bury your head in his neck, taking a deep breath, the smell that was just uniquely Jensen filling your lungs, and you sigh a little in contentment as he starts to play with your hair. 

Kissing you on the forehead, then the eyelids that you were still struggling to get open, then the checks, finally making his way to your lips. Brushing his across yours softly before returning to place his lips gently on yours. 

Kissing you slowly, sweetly, taking his time with you. Getting to know you, learning the way your lips moved against his, the way his tongue felt moving over yours. 

His hands travel from your hair, down your spine, and over your thigh in a feather light touch that sends shivers through your body. Every so slightly you reach up, and run you hand down his solid chest. Feeling his muscles move under your touch through his thin T-shirt. 

Grabbing your hips and pulling his as close to yours as possible he ground his hips down into yours. You could feel the bulge beginning to form behind his thin sleeping pants, and boxers that he was still wearing, moaning a little into your mouth. 

The sound sends a shock wave of arousal straight to your core. Your hands begin to get a little bolder, running across his shoulders and down his back. He arched himself into your touch,breaking away from kissing, and taking a deep breath like he was trying to clear his head and stay focused. 

Pulling back to look at you, his astonishing jade eyes search your face in the light that was pooling into the room from the window. He put his hand on the side of your face, running his thumb over your cheek lightly before brushing his lips over yours. 

This time kissing you a little deeper, with more need, Jensen rolled himself on top of you, his hand lightly up your shirt across your stomach creating little goosebumps in his wake.  

Right as you were about to pull his shirt over his head his phone began to ring on his nightstand. 

Putting his head down on your forehead he growled at his phone. 

"It's Jared." he said, looking at the caller ID then back at you apologetically. "Give me just a few minutes okay?" 

Reaching over he grabbed the phone and rolled over onto his back. You sat there quietly listening to Jensen, your mind still a little bit cloudy and breathless from what just happened to between the two of you. 

You'd never allow yourself to behave that way, and your own actions caught you by surprise. 

Quickly losing steam you sat up on your side of the bed a little, pulling the covers closer over your body. 

Jensen finally hung up the phone and looked at you, his eyes drinking you in like it was the last time he'd ever see. Reaching over to you for to lay your head down on his shoulder. 

"Jared wants us to come over to his house today for dinner. He's been throwing a fit to meet you." 

You let his words sink in. This was the first time that you were going to go anywhere as a couple, and that scared you more than a little.

You didn't know how Jared would accept you. You didn't know anything at all about him really, aside from his being the co-star on the show that Jensen played on for years. You didn't know if he was a typical Hollywood douchebag. You didn't know if his wife would hate you. You didn't know anything. It scared you more than you wanted to admit to Jensen.

"Okay" was all you could manage to get out. You knew you had to face other people sooner or later, you knew you had to function in the world, you couldn't just hide away in this house.

"It'll be fine sweetheart." Jensen said, kissing your forehead lightly.Sensing your apprehension, he put his hand on the side of your face, making you look up at him. "I'd never do anything, or bring you around anyone that would hurt you okay. It will be fine."

You nod your head and nuzzle closer into his neck. 

You hoped they would at least accept you. That they wouldn't hate you, and think you were just some freak or gold digger because you and Jensen were in an arranged marriage. You didn't want to know what Jensen would do if his friends rejected you, and you couldn't stand the thought of being sent back to Dallas alone.

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[xhxhxhx]

Thinking about Ross Douthat’s “The Age of Decadence” this morning:

“Do people on your coast think all this is real?”

The tech executive sounded curious, proud, a little insecure. We were talking in the San Francisco office of a venture capital firm, a vaulted space washed in Californian sun. He was referring to the whole gilded world around the Bay, the entire internet economy.

That was in 2015. Here are three stories from the five years since.

A young man comes to New York City. He’s a striver, a hustler, working the borderlands between entrepreneurship and con artistry. His first effort, a credit card for affluent millennials, yanks him into the celebrity economy, where he meets an ambitious rapper-businessman. Together they plan a kind of internet brokerage where celebrities can sell their mere presence to the highest bidder. As a brand-enhancing advertisement for the company, they decide to host a major music festival — an exclusive affair on a Caribbean island for influencers, festival obsessives and the youthful rich.

The festival’s online rollout is a great success. There is a viral video of supermodels and Instagram celebrities frolicking on a deserted beach, a sleek website for customers and the curious, and in the end, more than 5,000 people buy tickets, at an average cost of $2,500 to $4,000 — the superfluity of a rich society, yours for the right sales pitch.

But the festival as pitched does not exist. Instead, our entrepreneur’s plans collapse one by one. The private island’s owners back out of the deal. The local government doesn’t cooperate. Even after all the ticket sales, the money isn’t there, and he has to keep selling new amenities to ticket buyers to pay for the ones they’ve already purchased. He does have a team working around the clock to ready … something for the paying customers, but what they offer in the end is a sea of FEMA tents vaguely near a beach, a catering concern that supplies slimy sandwiches, and a lot of cheap tequila.

Amazingly, the people actually come — bright young things whose Instagram streams become a hilarious chronicle of dashed expectations, while the failed entrepreneur tries to keep order with a bullhorn before absconding to New York, where he finds disgrace, arrest and the inevitable Netflix documentary.

That’s the story of Billy McFarland and the Fyre Festival. It’s a small-time story; the next one is bigger.

A girl grows up in Texas, she gets accepted to Stanford, she wants to be Steve Jobs. She has an idea that will change an industry that hasn’t changed in years: the boring but essential world of blood testing. She envisions a machine, dubbed the Edison, that will test for diseases using just a single drop of blood. And like Jobs she quits college to figure out how to build it.

Ten years later, she is the internet era’s leading female billionaire, with a stream of venture capital, a sprawling campus, a $10 billion valuation for her company, and a lucrative deal with Walgreens to use her machines in every store. Her story is a counterpoint to every criticism you hear about Silicon Valley — that it’s a callow boys’ club, that its virtual realities don’t make the world of flesh and blood a better place, that it solves problems of convenience but doesn’t cure the sick. And she is the toast of an elite, in tech and politics alike, that wants to believe the Edisonian spirit lives on.

But the Edison box — despite endless effort and the best tech team that all that venture capital can buy — doesn’t work. And over time, as the company keeps expanding, it ceases even trying to innovate and becomes instead a fraud, using all its money and big-time backers to discredit whistle-blowers. Which succeeds until it doesn’t, at which point the company and all its billions evaporate — leaving behind a fraud prosecution, a best-selling exposé and the inevitable podcast and HBO documentary to sustain its founder’s fame.

That’s the story of Elizabeth Holmes and Theranos. It’s a big story. But our third story is bigger still, and it isn’t finished yet.

An internet company decides to revolutionize an industry — the taxi and limousine market — that defines old-school business-government cooperation, with all the attendant bureaucracy and unsatisfying service. It promises investors that it can buy its way to market dominance and use cutting-edge tech to find unglimpsed efficiencies. On the basis of that promise, it raises billions of dollars across its 10-year rise, during which time it becomes a byword for internet-era success, the model for how to disrupt an industry. By the time it goes public in 2019, it has over $11 billion in annual revenue — real money, exchanged for real services, nothing fraudulent about it.

Yet this amazing success story isn’t actually making any profit, even at such scale; instead, it’s losing billions, including $5 billion in one particularly costly quarter. After 10 years of growth, it has smashed the old business model of its industry, weakened legacy competitors and created value for consumers — but it has done all this using the awesome power of free money, building a company that would collapse into bankruptcy if that money were withdrawn. And it has solved none of the problems keeping it from profitability: The technology it uses isn’t proprietary or complex; its rival in disruption controls 30 percent of the market; the legacy players are still very much alive; and all of its paths to reduce its losses — charging higher prices, paying its workers less — would destroy the advantages that it has built.

So it sits there, a unicorn unlike any other, with a plan to become profitable that involves vague promises to somehow monetize all its user data and a specific promise that its investment in a different new technology — the self-driving car, much ballyhooed but as yet not exactly real — will make the math add up.

That’s the story of Uber — so far. It isn’t an Instagram fantasy or a naked fraud; it managed to go public and maintain its outsize valuation, unlike its fellow unicorn WeWork, whose recent attempt at an I.P.O. hurled it into crisis. But it is, for now, an example of a major 21st-century company invented entirely out of surplus, and floated by the hope that with enough money and market share, you can will a profitable company into existence. Which makes it another case study in what happens when an extraordinarily rich society can’t find enough new ideas that justify investing all its stockpiled wealth. We inflate bubbles and then pop them, invest in Theranos and then repent, and the supposed cutting edge of capitalism is increasingly defined by technologies that have almost arrived, business models that are on their way to profitability, by runways that go on and on without the plane achieving takeoff.

Do people on your coast think all this is real? When the tech executive asked me that, I told him that we did — that the promise of Silicon Valley was as much an article of faith for those of us watching from the outside as for its insiders; that we both envied the world of digital and believed in it, as the one place where American innovation was clearly still alive. And I would probably say the same thing now because, despite the stories I’ve just told, the internet economy is still as real as 21st-century growth and innovation gets.

But what this tells us, unfortunately, is that 21st-century growth and innovation are not at all what we were promised they would be.

I wonder if we’ll think about Silicon Valley the way we think about Texas wildcatters and Florida real estate hustlers. 

It’s not that there isn’t innovation in California. There is innovation in California. There was oil in Texas and real estate in Florida too. But their dilemmas are the same: the market has matured. The frontier is a confidence game, but the core is stagnant.

Facebook and Google monopolized social and search. They have the profits that newspapers used to have and broadcasters still do. Apple sells luxury products to the affluent, like the LVMH of Cupertino. They are not growing and innovating. They are insulating.

They acquire smaller firms that might threaten their business: Instagram, WhatsApp, Waze, DoubleClick. They do just enough to insulate themselves. They do no more. A little while ago, they challenged one another: Apple tried search, Google tried social. They don’t do that anymore.

It would be nice if they tried something new.

[loveisblindfanfictionbka]

Love Is Blind: Chapter One

“Come on Robs, what could it hurt?”

Robyn looked over at her friend and frowned.

“Online Dating? Really? Do you know the kind of psychos on these sites?”

Leandra sighed, “Girl, ain’t nobody saying marry them but at least try it out. It’s been years since your divorce. Why are you still so gunshy?”

“Well maybe because my ex-husband ripped my heart out my chest.”

“Isn’t that a little dramatic? You and your ex-husband were both childish and lost. I still don’t think you should’ve gotten divorced either.”

“You and everyone else seems to have my failed marriage all figured out.”

“Look, forget about all of that, you need to get back out there, even if it’s just for a night of fun. It wouldn’t kill you.”

“You know what, just to shut you up, I’ll do it.”

“Good, I got your profile all set up, you just need to approve it and submit it.”

“How in the hell? This is the first time we’ve spoken about this.”

“Yea but this was just a minor technicality because I was gonna set you up anyway.”

“Ugh….get away from me.”

Leandra laughed  as she slid her laptop over for Robyn to review the profile. After a few minutes, Robyn nodded her head in approval and pressed publish.

“So now what?”

“Now you wait to see if you get any hits or you just peruse others’ profiles too.”

Robyn was shaking her head before Leandra even finished her statement, “I am not perusing anything. I don’t even want to do this right now.”

“So let the men come to you, it is the natural order of things.”

“I’ma divorce you next.”

“You love me so whatever.”

Robyn laughed as she leaned her head on Leandra’s shoulder, “Le, do you really think this will help?”

“I think it’ll give you something to do while you try to get your life right again. I love you and I know you and I know that your divorce is something that you’re still trying to understand but your life doesn’t have to stop while you’re doing that. Things don’t have to be serious. You don’t have to fall in love with anybody but it wouldn’t hurt to get from behind these walls you’ve erected and live. You owe it to yourself, if nobody else.”

                                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Daddy, come on, the movie is starting”

Chris smiled as he rushed into the living room with a big bowl of popcorn. He sat next to his 3 year old daughter, Anesa, just as the classic Disney symbol flashed across the big screen.

“You know Princess, you could’ve just paused the tv. This is just a stream.”

“No because you were supposed to be faster anyway.”

Chris chuckled as he kissed her temple. He made the right decision becoming a foster dad two years ago. The little imp had done so much to replace the empty void in his life. He had suffered so much loss, being able to give that extra love to someone felt good. An image flashed in his head and he shook it. Years ago, he thought he had someone but that relationship crashed and burned. It surprised him that he even thought about her sometimes, all these years later.

Just as he started to become enamored with the Princess and The Frog, his phone rang. Anesa glanced over at him as he stepped out into the kitchen to answer it.

“Hello?”

“CB, what’s going on, Bro?”

“Marcus, how you doing?”

“I’m good. I’m moving back to the city so I just wanted to check in and see if we could meet up one of these days.”

“Of course, I’ll see if my sister can watch my daughter so just let me know when.”

“Daughter? A lot has happened, huh?”

“Too much.”

“How’s the wife?”

“Divorced years ago. I thought you knew.”

“I thought you were joking. You really went through with it?”

“We weren’t exactly seeing eye to eye.”

“But you were together for so long since middle school, right?”

“Officially since high school but you’d think that would’ve made our life together much easier, but nope.”

“Wow. We definitely got some catching up to do. Well, I’m back officially on Friday. We can meet at Roddy’s Bar.”

“Cool. 8 good for you?”

“Perfect, Bro. See you then.”

“Bet.”

They hung up and Chris went back to watching TV with Anesa.

                                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robyn fought as much as she could to not be curious about the stupid dating app but….that only worked for so long. As she scrolled, the frown in her face just got deeper and deeper. What the hell had the world become? These men were just- no. It was hard being single. She hadn’t been single in years. Scratch that, ever. She’d never been single. She wasn’t used to being alone and being married was supposed to prevent that. Her ex-husband had literally tore her heart in two and she still hadn’t recovered. How two people so in love could be so incompatible baffled her mind to this day? Of course, her people just thought they were too young and just gave up too quickly but what would they know? They didn’t live with them 24/7. Yes, they had awesome memories but all she could remember was how alone she felt when he was in the bed right next to her. How withdrawn he had gotten in the last two years of their marriage. How unsettled she felt. Like she never knew when he would finally explode from holding everything in. She felt like she walked on eggshells her whole marriage but him asking for a divorce shook her to her very core and she had never bounced back from it. She endured his brutal silence, his emotional hardness but yet he was the one who walked away. It just never made sense to her. Just as she was about to close the app, a direct message popped up. 

Subject: Hello

Body: Hi, I was browsing your profile and you seemed really interesting. I was wondering if you would like to chat.

Robyn frowned a bit but she clicked on his photo to be directed to his profile. 42 years old. Divorced. One child. College Music Professor. 

He seemed harmless. His photo was full length so his face wasn’t the clearest but he looked decent. Besides he’d probably say something weird and she’d never have to meet him in person so what’s the risk and Leandra had listed her under just her initials so it’s not like he’d know her real name anyway.

Re: Hello

Body: Hi, I would love to chat with you. My name’s Anna. Yours?

A few minutes passed before she got a reply

Re: Hello

Body: Christian but my friends and family call me Chris. It’s nice to meet you Anna.

A: Chris? That must be a common name, I know a few of those.

C: I can imagine. Don’t know too many Annas though. Not the typical name of this time

A: It’s a little old school but I like it. I see you’re a music professor

C: Yup. Decided to change career paths once I got divorced a few years ago. You’re a veterinarian?”

A: Yea, I own a clinic and a shelter in the city.

C: No children?”

A: No. Seems like my animals take up all my time.

C: Understandable. Animals can be like children.

A: Definitely. How old is your child?

C: She’s three. 

A: That’s an awesome age

C: Very fun and energetic

A: My friends have children so I definitely imagine. Have you lived in the city long?

C: Just a few years. I was working at another college when the possibility of tenureship opened up at Columbia. Normally that can take years so I got lucky for the invite.

A: you work at Columbia University? That is awesome

C: I think the shock still hasn’t worn off. Kind of waiting for them to take it back at some point

A: Lol when I got the keys to my clinic, I felt the same way

C: Where’d you go to school?

A: Stanford for undergrad. University of California, Davis for veterinary school.

C: Pretty far from home, huh?

A:New York has always been the place for me. I always knew I’d end up here. You?

C: I’m from down south so that’s where my soft spot is. I did my undergrad and grad at Stanford though.

A: Wow talk about a small world.  It is a large school so I’m not surprised we haven’t met unless we have.

C: Probably not, don’t remember many Annas there

A: True. How do you like being a professor?

C: It’s cooler than I thought it would be. My previous job had a little bit more excitement but after some personal issues then my divorce, I had had enough excitement to last a lifetime.

A: My divorce kind of knocked me off balance so I can understand wanting to start over

C: How long were you married?

A: Three years. You?

C: Same. Together?

A: Over ten years. You?

C: Same. Bad ending?

A: I really don’t know. It wasn’t the best situation but it wasn’t the worst. I think abrupt would be a better word. You?

C: I walked away. I wasn’t the best husband but I think we really outgrew each other.

A: That can happen. How old were you?

C: 35. You?

A: 34. A lot can change in over ten years

C: True. I don’t know if she knew that though

A: did you try to tell her? 

C: Honestly no but that’s partly why I walked away. I wasn’t any good for her let alone for myself. I struggled a lot emotionally back then, I still do now sometimes. She didn’t need that weight in her life

A: Did she say that or did you make that decision for her?

C: Both.

A: Ah. I’m sorry

C: No need. She was better off without me anyway

A: you still think about her?

C: I try not to. It hurts. Failure sucks.

A: tell me about it. Have you seen her over the years?

C:No. We both moved away once we got divorced. Don’t really know where she went to be honest

A: Same. Some things are just better left alone, I guess

C: True.

A: You know Chris, this was fun. I was a little nervous about this online thing

C: Really? I’ve done it once or twice before. It’s not too bad if you take it for what it is

A: And that is?

C: Just a way to meet people. Doesn’t have to go further than a conversation unless you let it

A: That is very true.

C: If it’s agreeable to you. I’d love to talk to you again

A: I’d like that

C: Great. I guess, until next time

A: Have a good night

C: You as well

Robyn closed out of the app after reading Chris’s last message. They had a lot in common, a lot more than her ex-husband. She got a little nervous when he said his name was Chris but once he clarified that his full name was Christian, she could let out a breath. Her ex-husband’s name when shortened was Chris but his full name was Christopher. Christopher was a common name but she really didn't need that reminder of him too.

Chris dropped his phone onto his nightstand just as Anesa ran into his room. He laughed as she tried to climb onto his bed before leaning over to pick her up, “what’s the matter Love Bug?”

“Can I sleep in here with you?”

“Of course you can. Did something happen?”

“I had a bad dream.”

“Aww...I’m sorry, Love Bug. Come on, get under the covers.

Anesa climbed under the blankets as Chris turned off the lights. She cuddled onto his chest and Chris hugged her close, “Comfortable?”

“Yes. Goodnight Daddy.

“Goodnight Love Bug.”

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So….how was it?” Leandra asked as her and Robyn sat down for breakfast.

“It was a nice conversation. He seemed like a decent guy.”

“What’s his name?”

“Christian but people call him Chris.”

“You really have a thing for Chris’s, huh?”

“Don’t say that. Chris is just a common name.”

“It is but what a coincidence.”

“Yea.”

“So what does he do?”

“He teaches music at Columbia.”

“Nice. Educated. Kids?”

“A daughter.”

“Marital status?”

“Divorced like me.”

“Guess you can share horror stories.”

Robyn chuckled, “my marriage was a failure but not a horror story. Stop it.”

“Have you spoken to Chris?’

“Not since the divorce was final. Why?”

:Leandra shrugged.

“Le, what happened?”

“Nothing. I thought I saw somebody who looked like him the other day, that’s all.”

“Where? Here? In New York?”

“Yea.”

“Please don’t tell me we moved to the same state.”

“Robs, I don’t know if it was him. I just caught his profile. It could’ve been any cute light skin guy. They are running around here galore.”

“That’s true.”

“So about your new Chris?”

“What about him?”

“What’s the next move?”

“We agreed to talk again but nothing more than that. I’m still stuck in limbo, I’m not trying to make something out of nothing.

“I guess. Are you gonna meet him?”

“Nah. Some things are just better left alone, you know.”

“Not even if you really start to like him.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m swearing off serious relationships until I fix my broken heart and I have no idea how long that’s gonna take.”

“You still love him, don’t you?”

“I don’t know but I don’t want to.”

“You were together a long time.”

“Yea and he still left me so what does that mean?”

Leandra sighed, “I don’t know. “

“Chris, who are you messaging so much?” Jessica, his sister, asked as she started stirring a pot of beans.

“I met this woman online. We’ve been talking for a few weeks.”

“Online dating? You sure that’s safe?”

“I don’t plan on meeting her so it’s not a huge deal. Just a conversation.”

“Few weeks is a long time for it to just be a conversation. You like her?”

“She seems really nice.”

“Glad you’re opening your heart up somehow.”

“I’m not opening anything up. I went down that road and have no qualms about avoiding it.”

“You know you walked away from your marriage, Chris. I don’t understand your apprehension with moving on.”

“I didn't walk away to move on. I walked away to keep from hurting her. Two different things. I’m not fit to be in a relationship, let alone a marriage. My daughter is the only woman I’m concerned about right now.”

“Anesa can’t be your whole life.”

“Who says?”

“I wish Momma was here to talk some sense into you.”

“Don’t do that, Jess.”

“What? She was the only person you listened to. Did you ever tell your ex what happened with Momma?”

“No.”

“You never took her to meet her?”

“It’s not like she was around. Auntie C raised me.”

“So when you left every weekend to see Momma in the hospital your ex never asked why?”

“She asked. I never answered.”

“Chris.”

“I don’t want to talk about it. It wasn’t for her to know. She didn’t need that kind of weight on her, ok?”

“You never gave her a chance to really love you, Chris.”

“Well that doesn’t really matter. She moved away and about her life. I did the same. No harm, no foul.”

“I wouldn’t quite say no harm, no foul but whatever.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“I don't want you to hurt this new woman because you’re still in love with your past, Chris.”

“I’m not in love with anyone so there’s nothing to be worried about.”

“And that worries me even more.”

[dabblescrawl]

Once Bitten, Twice Shy - Part One

Request by @ratatata-ah While Oscar is incarcerated, the reader took care of Cesar and when Oscar gets out he and the reader (Monse’s cousin) meet for the first time.  Oscar quickly becomes infatuated with the reader and invites her to his “welcome home” party to get to know her more.  The reader is shy and Oscar is very flirtatious trying to get her to open up more.  Long story short, the series could be about Oscar falling in love with the reader 

Monse and her crew had been friends since birth it seemed.  In truth, I suppose it was grade school when they were all kinders and the rag-tag group had formed.  Monse, always her style, had been the outspoken one who took quickly to learning.  Cesar had kept up with her academically and they had often found themselves in the same groups assigned by their teachers.  The pair’s quick wit and blunt personalities had matched right away.  Cesar was also a protector.  Even as small children Ruby and Jamal had been in need of that.  And so the small group of wildly different perspectives had formed.  

Sitting in the Diaz house now watching them argue about the rules for Clue, I rolled my eyes.  Their little group seemed to conflict more than they agreed, and yet the soon to be high schoolers seemed tight as ever.  Often when you were watching them spend time together like this you were slightly jealous of their tight bond.  Despite any bickering or arguments, the group always had each other’s backs.  They protected and supported one another.  The world be damned and destroyed if it tried to hold down any one of the four.

Many times I’d wished my friendships were like that.  Of course they weren’t.  Sure I had friends but I am a continuous giver without much reciprocation.  I am a part of several friend groups due to my kind spirit and personality, but none of those groups ever felt like my own, not the way the Core 4 belonged to each other.  It probably was related to my hesitant and unsure nature when it came to sharing myself with others.  It was easier to be a yes woman and do what was asked of me than build any personal connections.

Shaking away the thoughts of self pity and jealousy, because those never resulted in anything good, I elected to see what was still in the fridge from my last shopping trip.  Opening the door I saw a few things but nothing of substance left.  I nodded to myself, grabbing the keys off the countertop and heading towards the door.

“I’m going to the store,” I announced, my words unheard over the game, “Ay!” I shouted over their voices to try again.  Four sets of eyes trained on me.  “Cesar and Monse, any requests from the store for food this week?” Both preteens shook their heads negative.  “Ok, well I’m going now then, and then when I get back…”

“Everybody better get their asses outside to help carry it in.” They answered.

I nodded, “And then everybody is going home,”  which was answered by 4 sets of eye rolls.  “Eh, eh, it’s a school night,” four more nods.  “Last call on requests because…”

“I’m only going once” they echoed again, cutting me off.

“Awww,” I replied sweetly tugging at Monse’s check who was closest to me, “I have trained you so well.” I giggled and headed out the door as the bickering started again.

The mothering thing had come naturally to me, but I guess that was to be expected, I had raised myself from a young age.  When Uncle Monty first started long hauls he was only gone overnight and I’d gone to stay with Monse.  But the money was better and I was free anyways so nights turned to weekends, and weekends, turned to weeks, and those weeks were sometimes continuous.  I’d lived there through most of high school and simply stayed after I graduated three years ago.  I’d always been able to go out on a limb for either Monse or Cesar and be more assertive, but when it came to myself that was a skill I lacked.

After Cesar’s brother had gotten locked up, he’d been a mess.  How was a 10 year old kid supposed to take care of himself?  And the truth was, he wasn’t.  In fact, it was by some miracle at all that he’d been overlooked and allowed to continue to live outside of the foster system himself.  And I intended to keep him that way.  Sure, he was alone a lot, but the Core 4 and myself also tried to have him around as much as possible.  So really, he wasn’t alone all that much more than you or Monse.  The thought of foster care just did too much to disrupt his life so you’d made it your mission to make sure it didn’t happen to either of them.

Pulling the coffee off the pot and pouring it into the cup I slid my phone out of my pocket and speed dialed 2.  “Hello” came the groggy voice on the other end.  

“Morning, sleepy head” he smiled into the phone, “Have you taken a shower yet?”  The voice mumbled an affirmative.  “What’d you have for breakfast?” The voice slurped into the phone as if to answer the question.

Mouth clearly full, the answer was garbled, “Cereal”.

I nodded to myself, “Brushed your teeth?”

“YES MOM” was answered from the frustrated half yell.

“Listen here friend,” I started, “it’s a call or a visit, you want your mornings to yourself you just answer.” 

“I know” Cesar conceded, “I have to get dressed so I’ll be ready when everybody gets here.  

“Have a great day, learn something new, and…be good” we finished in unison.  “Bye, companero”

“Bye”

I hung up and took the first deep gulp of piping hot coffee.  Ok, one down, one to go.  I marched off towards Monse’s room where I completed almost the same routine with much more resistance from Monse than Cesar had given me.  The teen years were going to be fun.

With everyone off to school you hurried around to tidy up the house, finish getting ready for work, and barely made it out the door on time.

Monse had just left for writing camp for the summer.  For the first time in a long time, there wasn’t a kid in the house for you to take care of.  You’d picked up extra shifts, carefully scheduling them when Cesar should be asleep or with friends so that he wouldn’t be alone all the time.  

As seemed to be my norm, I had done some favors for my friends this morning and was completely behind when I had wanted to leave.  I texted Cesar apologizing and letting him know I would make a late lunch, instead of noon as we had planned.  No response yet, I hoped he hadn’t decided to eat without me. 

I hurried to finish getting ready and chose to leave the house with soaking wet hair.  I mean Cesar has seen me before, no need to waste anymore time getting prepped, we were just having lunch.

I pulled into the drive and noticed quite a few more cholos in the yard.  I frowned, that’s weird, sometimes different homies come around to check on Cesar, but never this many.  Something had to be going on.

I stepped out of the car and headed for the house.  Opening the door I yelled for Cesar, “Hey, Cesar, just me.  I’ll get lunch started!” I made my way into the kitchen without really taking a look around, “Also, what’s going on, there’s like a bunch of people outside.”  I pulled the ingredients for lunch from the cabinets and the fridge with ease, after all it’s not my first time cooking here.

“Uh, Y/N” Cesar said, seemingly hesitant near the fridge.

“What’s up dude” I smiled and continued about my business.

“And who do you think you are?” a deep, booming, voice came from behind where Cesar stood. 

I turned and my jaw dropped to see Cesar’s older brother Spooky behind him.  Blinking a few times, I gathered myself.

“Uh, hi, Spooky” I started, then gained a little more confident and raised my voice above a whisper, “You probably don’t know me, I am Monse’s cousin, Y/N.” You paused as the information didn’t seem to answer his question, his face hard and betrayed no emotion.  “Um, I have been watching out for Cesar since you’ve been gone.” I finished.  

“Yeah, Oscar, she’s been awesome.  She checks on me every day, and does the grocery shopping, and well most of the cooking too.” Cesar started his words tumbling out in a rush.

“Monse’s cousin?” he asks.

I nod, “Yeah, my mom is Uncle Monty’s, that’s Monse’s dad, sister.  I didn’t move to Freeridge full time until she died” I shrugged, it was old news. 

He nodded as if taking in this new information.  “Well thanks for taking care of my mano'' he said, placing his hand on Cesar’s shoulder.

“Now I get why everyone is outside” I answered, turning back to the food, “well” I said clicking my teeth and surveying the contents of the fridge.  “I don’t think I have what we need to serve everybody. But I can do lunch for the three of us.”  I said turning back to the Diaz brothers and waving my pointer finger in a circle at each of us and each nodded in turn.

“Give me like” I made a calculating face waving my hands in that little up down motion for about “20 minutes and it’ll be on the table.  Give or take.” I amended my previous statement.  

When I finished lunch, I laid it out on the table and mostly listened to Cesar detail to Spooky everything that had gone on since he’d been locked up.  There was a lot to catch up on in Cesar’s life, and that of the block.  Mostly I was quiet but every now and then Cesar would turn to me for a detail or I’d prod him about a subject that he’d forgotten to include.  Spooky would look at me intently each time I did speak and I couldn’t figure out the look he was wearing when he did.  

After lunch I cleaned up and was headed for home.  “Ay, Y/N” Spooky stopped me before I left for the afternoon.  “We’re having a party tomorrow night.  Beers on me, thanks for taking such good care of Cesar.”

Standing in your room you weren’t quite sure what you should wear.  Parties weren’t really your thing after all.  The concept was always appealing but the practice was always less than desirable.  At the time that you had accepted it had sounded like a fine idea and now you weren’t really looking forward to it at all.  You weren’t even sure you’d know anyone there at all except Spooky.  Well and possibly Cesar, but, the idea of drinking with a nearly 14 year old made your motherly, legal, brain uncomfortable.  You laughed at yourself, because a Santos party was the place to be concerned about legality. 

Sighing and looking back at your bed you decided to play eeny meeny miney mo with yourself.  If you didn’t choose soon you’d chicken out entirely.  I wanted to try to be a little more adventurous and also I had told Spooky I would be there, if I don’t go it’s like backing out on a promise.  In the end you ended up with a pair of black ripped skinny jeans and a strappy but flowy tank.  My hair isn’t usually as unruly as Monse’s, but today I had no such luck.  I threw it in a couple of tight braids and hurried to put on some make up.  I looked at myself in the mirror on my door as I tied my converse.  Close enough, I thought.

When I got to the Diaz house I was grateful for 3 things, my outfit allowed me to stay relatively cool and comfortable even in the California summer evening, I had chosen to walk because the curb was packed with cars, and Cesar was right out front.  If it hadn’t been for his catching my eye, I probably would have turned around before ever stepping foot into the party.  There were a lot of people here, like A LOT of people.

Cesar had taken me to the backyard as he’s been instructed by Spooky and cracked open my choice of beers.  I was both afraid to drink too much and too socially awkward not to get a little liquor courage in my veins.  “Next, stop, Spooky” Cesar announced.

“What?” I asked eyebrows furrowed.

“He said he wanted to know when you got here, he was by the DJ last time I saw him” Cesar turned and began snaking through the people in the yard and a beat or two later I was following him.

Read Part Two Here